Christian dating non christian

I’m 22 (F), and I’ve never had a real crush until now. The term “crush” describes it perfectly. Your heart feels like it’s being capsized by huge waves, and no matter how much you fight it, you feel overwhelmed and helpless to defend against it. I think about him all the time. He’s 28 and is the manager at my part-time job. I know that I can’t pursue him (he’s an atheist and I’m a Christian), but I want to at least convert him; want to comfort him; I want to share everything with him. He’s like some kind of imaginary friend, and I find myself grieving a relationship and experiences that never happened outside of my head 😂 (not that we haven’t had plenty of real conversations). He’s given a few signs recently that he may like me, and I was simultaneously devastated and ecstatic that he felt this way. I’ve been smiling for days over a particular compliment he gave me, and everyone around me has noticed. But then, I’ll have periods of melancholy, and I’ve finally settled into this dejected mood as I’ve forced myself to abandon all hope. I simply can’t.
There’s this odd dynamic at my work now too. Yesterday, a coworker asked if I had a “boo”, and today a couple other girl coworkers were talking about finding me a boyfriend. I don’t know what kind of weird conversations are going on behind the scenes, but I have felt like I’m being talked about and put on the spotlight more in general lately, and it’s unsettling.

Ok so I'm 13, my dad died when I was 4 I'm not gonna go into detail because it's not your business, but when he died I went completely numb up until these last few weeks, especially numb to love, I didn't understand it, now I believe I do and I found someone who was kind, pretty, funny, and she was a Christian like me, and not even a day after we started talking she got a bf and blocked me, I had no intention of dating her but the thought had come into mind, Everytime I finally feel like I've found the right person something goes wrong, I find myself attractive, I have a dominant male ego, a high sex drive, I'm flirtatious, I'm kind, I can keep a convo going, and I reply fast, I just don't see why Everytime there is a girl who is exactly like what I've been praying for has to have something go wrong, I just want a pretty, kind, flirtatious, can keep a convo going, girl who is my age or around my age 12-14, but I don't know, anybody else relate? :/

*CONTAINS SWEARING*
This is gonna be a hefty and most likely triggering post for specific groups of people out there (meaning people who struggle with anger, people who don't want poltical content/opinions etc), so please stop reading and leave if you figure this is gonna be rough for you. This will (mainly) be about the conflict between Palestine and Israel. (and apparently a long one) No hate towards any specific groups of people, but I do have a lot of *frustration regarding behaviours*.
Before I start, I want you to remember some facts about me as you read;
I am autistic
I am heavily influenced by world peace, hate, racism and other unfair situations
I have incredibly high standards for myself that I strive to not break, including, but not limited to, being kind and respectful *always*, despite being in a bad mood, not liking someone, or disagreeing, especially political disagreements
I have always, and will always, stand against widespread hate, racism and other discrimination towards any specific religions, ethnicities, nationalities, cultures, etc.
I also want you to know that I named this throwaway accordingly.
So let's get this shitshow started then, shall we.
As the details of the conflict stands, it is beyond obvious to me that this is racism and, literally, a Holocaust. Not *the* Holocaust, but *a* Holocaust. Oxford Languages has the term defined as a destruction or slaughter on a mass scale, especially caused by fire or nuclear war . I'd say that's very much accurate. Proof to come.
Regardless, this situation has had me very pressed the last almost 8 months, as I know most other people have been too. Without getting too much into the conflict itself, I want to talk a little about what I've seen from the Jewish community.
This is where I advise anyone who struggles with anger especially to leave and try to keep your day positive. If you have a magical potion to stay stable after this, who am I to stop you...
Alright, onto the dreaded part. And yes, I am stalling.
I have never, and I truly mean *never* had any hateful thoughts or opinions about religions (other than Christianity but that's one for another time), and as we are all aware of, The Holocaust had massive effect on the world some 80 years ago. I have always seen Jews as victims due to this, but in recent times I've realised that a lot of them, too, see themselves as victims. The issue is that they aren't the victims right now. They (Israel) aren't defending themselves, they have nothing to defend themselves against. Israel is currently doing the exact same thing as Germany did to them, to Palestine. Sure, maybe at some point who knows when, Palestine *was* the land of Jews, but since then, multiple religions have been thriving together on that land, including Jews. They were never excluded. From what I've understood, there weren't any wars or conflicts going on within the country that didn't happen elsewhere. The issue began when in the late 1940's zionists brutally murdered families to steal their homes. I'm sure the situation was so much more complex than that, but in a nutshell that is basically it. The fact that everyone today have been so desensitized from the travesties happening around the world is depressing and hope-killing. I truly am well on the way to giving up, and at this point in time I'm so angry all the time due to the Middle East's situation.
So a few weeks ago, probably closing in on months at this point, I randomly got a notification from reddit about someone posting on /Jewish. They didn't say anything explicit, so I pressed the notification and I was met with the worst victimization and ignorance I've ever seen. I truly believed most jews would see this for what it is, and not let some racist maniac spoon-feed them propaganda and hate, but I was brutally and humbly proven wrong. They were mocking proPAL parades, hating on news anchors and civilians alike calling this a genocide, insisting that Israel has no other choice, saying "casualties happens in war", convincing each other that zionism is a good thing, and feeling sorry for themselves when friends and families cut contact because they said they supported Israel and saw this as the only solution. Some might have been genuine problems, idk, but for the most part, that subreddit seems to only be about hating the rest of the world because their great grandparents were killed. I know I sound like a complete asshole, but the world isn't antisemetic anymore - they are actively looking for it and then using that one person telling them to stop feeling so sorry for themselves as proof that everybody in the world wants to throw them back in gas chambers.
I commented on my personal once where I mentioned that judaism and zionism are two separate things and got downvoted to oblivion. Someone replied saying that my comment was very much exactly what they too feel, but I got downvoted *simply because* I referred to them as separate entities. That is another criticism they've recieved lately; the pure idea of zionism is on the complete opposite side from what Judaism stands for. I've seen so many of the members there calling Jews protesting against Israel "self-hating" and traitors.
I've also made so many replies that I never sent because I know for a fact they would do anything in their power to ban me from ever using reddit again, and I wouldn't be surprised if I got doxxed and harrassed IRL from it. I saved them all, though. I found that it was kind of therapeutic to get it out, but it still bugs me that I never found a way to say it to them. I once also made a post about my rage for their behaviour connected to this genocide, but I thankfully stopped myself before I posted it. I'm so enraged by their sheer ignorance and hypocritical behaviour, all the while Gaza is still being eradicated and slaughtered, war crimes happening day in-day out, inhumane atrocities by the IOF being posted and hailed, and they have the audacity to say that they are the victims? That Israel has no other choice but martyring tens of thousands of CHILDREN? Starving the entire Gaza Strip, segregating West Bank, literally teaching their young in school to hate and attack arabs? That last one might not be true as I don't speak Hebrew or Arabic, so anyone could've just made up the translation, but I still feel it's worth mentioning in case it actually *is* real.
My point is that the guts they have to claim to be so moral, yet still be so unfaced from what's happening in Gaza is beside me. Sure, for those living near the Gaza wall, I'm positive that hearing bombs and screams were traumatizing as fuck, but to then leave for work the next day and claim that "shit happens"? It's insane! It's inhumane. They can leave whenever they like, children can play football (soccer) in the streets and not having to worry about shit, hotels and restaurants with 5-star ratings thriving, plants and flowers still blooming, absolutely no threats on a daily basis. The fact that people are still calling this a war, something necessary, is beyond devastating to me. There are millions still siding with zionism, claiming there's nothing wrong with the belief that you have an innate right to some dirt simply because your holy book says that thousands of years ago, your religion lived there, and simply because of that religious fact you are rightfully owed thousands of young lives, the death of an entire country with its own culture, just to feed the irrational religious political system? How in God's name has that ever, *IS* that still okay? If Muslims were the ones saying that shit, they would've been completely destroyed by now, today's generation wouldn't know what the fuck Islam was. They are still being slaughtered though, because they're saying it's *not* okay. How is that not racist again?
My brother and I got into a heated argument a few days ago about this. I am very much *for* Palestine to have human rights and to own their own land - he is very much *against* "ugly blackies" having any rights because they're *not* human. Boi when I tell you I got so angry I started crying. And the worst part about that fight? He claims that Jews aren't any better, however they still deserve to defend themselves against children running on the beach. "But Hamas-" is so over-used and outdated by now, it just proves that he doesn't follow up on statistics and evidence. Even if there only were one-sided news (from Gaza), the fact that the ICJ ruled Israel's actions a genocide and war crimes still proves everything he claims to be "n*****'s propaganda". And the fact that he so underminds my autism and *need* for factual evidence before discussing it also goes to show that he genuinely does not care about anything other than the black "terrorists" being eradicated. I said "So you're not just a racist, you're just plain racist?" he just scoffed and looked at me as if I just said the most nonsensical bullshit gibberish ever, practically saying "I'm not gonna say anything, but it really took you that long to realise?" Either that, or he actually didn't comprehend the words coming out of my mouth, like it was a foreign language or something. Because he genuinely does not have a single reason to be racist.
He can't even blame suicide attacks because 1) not all are carried by muslims, and 2) between 1981-2015 around 45,000 were killed by suicide attacks worldwide, where in 2019 the total death toll was only 1,699 more than amount of attacks; whereas in Gaza, between Oct 7 to present there are about 34,000 confirmed palestinian deaths, and assumed around 42,000 with unconfirmed deaths. If, in 36 years, "muslim terrorism" killed about the same amount as Israel has in almost 8 months, how on earth are Arabs the terrorists?
And I've also seen the argument that 30,000 is nothing compared to the total population in Gaza, as if that makes it okay. I will, again, make example of The Holocaust. When 30,000 Jews were martyred, people were already catching on, and this was without the technology we have today.
How have we been allowing this to happen to Palestinians *with* our technology today? Why haven't people been doing more; striking our jobs, cummute chauffeurs striking, proper permanent boycotts, more coverage from news anchors and private people alike? Even if it is to officially reclaim your love for white supremacy, you're still talking about it. Why are people still not reading up on this? Why does millions still not know that this *didn't* begin on October 7th? And why are there still those who claim that the past doesn't matter today? I have so many questions, and if I do get an answer I will only end up with more questions. How hasn't the world stopped over this? Why are people so okay knowing that there are children being intentionally murdered every single day? How can you go to work and talk about Dave's new tie? Or your 6 year old's birthday party with 15 other 6 year olds? Hasn't it crossed your mind that if the roles were reversed, your precious princess would be the one burried under tons of rubble, dying slowly while simontaniously starving, dehydrating, suffocating and crushing, and *knowing* that absolutely no one cares because you're [skin color] and it's normal for your kids to be horrendously massacred? "Oh but the Taliban-ISIS-Al Qaeda" OKAY so what are you gonna do to help save innocent lives and suffering??? How are you gonna contribute to STOP these organizations that have manipulated and murdered to rule their country and are intentionally making the citicens miserable? Are you even aware that your own govurnment is essentially the same fucking thing, just disguised as a well dressed, polite gentleman? Aren't you sick of all those ads on TV showing brown children with flies in their eyes? Or your mama telling you to think about the starving children in Africa? Because I am.
I am so sick and tired of how inhumane humans have come to be. You don't see animals (and I'm trying my best to not mention how humans *are* animals, guess I failed) intentionally kill another animal simply because they're that animal. They kill prey; polar bears kill seals, seals kill penguins, penguins kill fish, fish kill amoebas, and you can get to that result from absolutely everything. What you don't find as a natural event is a golden, brown mane lion attack and kill an albino lion simply because it's albino. You don't see a school of fish swim away from one with two heads, because "*omg Jared is such a freak with his two heads*." So why the FUCK DID WE START DOING THAT? Where did this hunger for power come from? You *will* see a female lion tell the king that enough is enough, and he *will* accept that. I could go on and on for DAYS if I got the chance, but I don't wanna get too off topic here.
I've started a list of all the universally illegal shit Israel has done, and once I'm satisfied with it, I'll make one comparing Israel to Palestine, and then Arabs/Muslims as a whole. I can guarantee that I will still hear "on-sided sources" still, or "You can't trust Wikipedia!" Have you ever tried to edit or create an article on Wikipedia? I have, and I had to confirm that I had a degree or a current valid work ID to prove that I was elgible to speak on the topic. I tried to make a site for myself... Sure, there are more trustworthy sites, but even in a discussion about wether or not being trans is a mental illness, where I quoted and linked all of the most well known official sources like WHO, I was still slapped with "but this shady ass article from a random Deutch website that explicitly says everything I've said, yet still isn't actually saying the same thing because I misquoted and mixed the words to form my own sentence says that it is" when they literally linked a website called "disabled world". I will say though, I agree with that name. Today's world is so non-funtional for neurotypical, hetero, white MEN, it's no fucking wonder everyone else are classified as disabled or whatever. Also, on that disabled topic, if you've made it this far, please don't say "differently abled". A quote unquote quote (heh geddit? cuz it's rephrased and I don't have the book near me rn to directly quote) from Devon Price's "Unmasking Autism" that I really like: "You wouldn't say "a person with Asianness", you'd say "an Asian person"." We are disabled because today's world isn't made for us, and for the most part isn't even accomodated or accessible to us. We are different, yeah, but literally everyone is. We just got that term because we can't do the same things as you (assuming you're neurotypical) without aid. We are able, just not like you. Of course, if an autistic person tells you they prefer "person with autism", listen to them! But most of us embrace it as a part of us because we can't just get rid of it. Autism is what make me me, I wouldn't be me without my autism, so I *am* autistic, for better or for worse. :)
I find it kinda ironic that I started this as a venting about a lot of Jews' hypocritical behaviour, and now ending up on autism. Yaknow, cuz Dr. Asperger during WW2 experimented and tortured autistic people, and found out that some where more alike him than others, which then coined the term Aspergers for the Autistic Community.
Anywho, I feel better now, so thanks for letting me vent a little (a lot). I want to finish off by restating my intro; I have not, and will not tolerate any hate, racism or discrimination towards any religion, ethnicity, nationality, culture etc. This post is not intended as a rant about how aweful jews are, because they're not. I just wanted to air some frustration over their behaviour regarding I/P genocide. This is also not about *all* Jews, but that's the same discussion as "not all men" so I'll leave it at that.
I will delete this account in a week, so if you have any questions, be fast ig. If you find I've mis-phrased, used irrationally insensitive wording or any other complaints that calls for a repost, I will fix it and post an updated version. My DMs will also be available if that should be of interest, but I will not be responding to hate or personal attacks for my opinions. If the issue is my wording, again, tell me and I'll fix it.
At this point I've written so much that I don't remember if I found anything myself that I figured was worth fixing, and I've proof read it so many times that my eyes are crossing and giving me a headache lol
Gosh I'm scared of posting this. I don't want anyone to read this and think I support what A. H. did in 1940 cuz I cannot begin to describe my hatred for that man

Sorry for the atheism take (no not really) but did some Jews 2000 years ago REALLY have to decide to worship a god and create a new branch of religion? It's especially ironic considering how many Christians and especially Muslims today hate them despite their own religions not existing if it wasn't for Judaism.
It's insane how as a 🚬 I have to live the rest of my life in the closet because some guys 2000 years ago stanned Yahweh and their offshoot club stanned Allah and now I have to deal with this. It's not fair!!!

So my personal views on Christianity is that I believe in Jesus’s teachings of love, acceptance, and forgiveness, but I don’t believe in the Bible’s stories and rules. Like not being able to eat pork. I’ll steal a quote from Bo Burnham “god created the entire universe, you think he’s drawing the line at the deli isle?”. I feel like the Bible has been around for so long and was written by humans, so there is no reason to view it as the word of god. My grandfather is a southern Baptist preacher and feels the opposite, and I’d never tell him my true feelings because it would crush him if he thought I didn’t believe in what he deems the “word of god”. I also feel this way because if me trying to be the best person I can and treating others with love and respect wasn’t enough to get me into heaven, then I probably wasn’t going there anyway.
I appreciate any feedback

There's not a need for anti depressants as spirituality acts as a placebo for it, an atheist attempting to use any placebo or spirituality would be contradictory to their beliefs in that biology determines their mental health, meaning anti depressants are a vital cure.
No I'm not saying no christians haven't had anti depressants before, but its not likely to be common among Christians alone with spirituality.

Hello,
Like many, I applied for PUA and was later disqualified after the pandemic ended and received determinations of overpayment. Most of them were classified as "administrative" and had the overpayment waived, however one of them was listed as "non-fraud", and I have to pay the amount back. I've been receiving the monthly statements since the beginning of this year, but I haven't been able to make any payments due to being up to my eyeballs in other debt at the moment. I emailed them multiple times to set up a payment plan as suggested in the statements, but nobody has ever replied back.
The amount isn't even remotely feasible to pay off in a single month, so my question is: is there a time limit to pay everything back? The due date is always for the current month of each statement, but there have never been any minimum amounts, warnings, or any sort of interest mentioned. I've been unable to find a concrete answer online. I really don't want this to bite me in the ass at a later date.
The program type is listed as "71 - Pandemic Unemployment Assistance - PUA" if that helps.

I’ll use fake name to complicate things less. So a brief backstory, my friend Oscar and I briefly met in high school, didn’t really hang out all that much. Then I left for the Military right out of high school and didn’t think of him much. But on Leave we ran into each other ther and ended up kissing and talking to each other as if we really liked each other. Then when I finished my contract I moved back to my hometown and we became best friends. I didn’t really think of him that way anymore and he didn’t either. I ended up having a crush on a completely different friend named Ronaldo but it wasn’t reciprocated. After about a year Oscar got a new house and wanted two friends to move in with him, and it ended up being me and Ronaldo.
I spent over a year going in and out of a crush on Ronaldo because he seemed to always know what exactly to say to keep me strung along. So while this was going on I had no romantic thoughts about Oscar at all. Last year Oscar started dating this guy Alex. Neither Ronaldo or I could stand the guy, he always makes every conversation about himself and he just brags non stop in such a douchey way. For the most part he’s a good guy, just really annoying.
So in recent events there’s been some changes. We all went to a friends wedding a few weeks ago and after everything Ronaldo and I had an actual conversation about my feelings, because he was doing this thing where he kept flirting all night with me and if the feeling wasn’t returned I didn’t want that dynamic anymore, during this he said he wasn’t romantically interested, and I decided from there to completely move on.
So a few days later me and Oscar were talking about an inside joke we used to have but couldn’t remember so we went deep into old messages and found the ones from when we liked eachother. We laughed about it. Then that night Oscar goes “Jake can I ask you something?” And I said “sure” and he said “Can we kiss again?” And I said that it was okay as long as he was comfortable with it. We ended up cuddling and having sex that night.
I promised i wouldn’t tell anyone we know (aka why I’m here on Reddit) and Oscar told me it wasn’t going to be a regular thing. And I said it was fine as long as he's okay with it. After I went back into the living room, I heard from Ronaldos room that he was awake, but have no idea if he knew what just happened. The next day Oscar kissed me again and again said it wasnt going to be a regular thing.
After it happened whenever Alex came over I noticed that he was nicer to me than he was to Alex. Like in the morning when he made coffee and breakfast he asked if I wanted a cup and plate and didnt ask Alex at all. Three days later Oscar and I were home alone, and he started it again. We cuddled and kissed a bit then he started venting to me about Alex, saying that he really isn't sure if he even loves him anymore, that he found out Alex was talking to someone else, and that he doesnt even like Alex touching him anymore. I asked him if this was some kind of payback thing and he said no. He kept asking if I was okay with all this because he doesnt want to hurt me and I said as long as he's okay with it all. Then we had sex again. Then Ronaldo came home from work, but had to leave again because he had to visit his mom, then the second he left Oscar and I went at it again. Then Ronaldo came back then left for dinner, and Oscer and I had sex for the third time that day. Then Oscar took me to dinner, and after we got home, sex for the 4th time that day.
This was about 3 days ago, 2 days ago Alex came over because they had a trip to Vegas planned, and right now theyre at EDC. Right now the house is just me and Ronaldo. Last night Ronaldo came up to me crying his eyes out saying "Theres this guy who used to like me, and I always turned him down, but I think he's moved on but now he's been doing stuff with someone better than me, and its so unfair." and I have no idea what the hell he means.
Now I'm all confused because for some reason I now feel like I'm jealous of Alex, I have no idea what's going on in either Oscar OR Ronaldos head, and I'm not really sure I know what I even feel.

The Mother Church has over a billion dollars and they're incapable of talking to young people in their language (series or movies, TikToks, good ways to create community online). I know there are a lot of interns who could make use of those funds to talk to the new generations effectively (before anyone thinks badly of myself, I have no intention of going there because it's a director-level problem)
I don't remember if it's in the Manual or in Science and Health, where Mrs Eddy says it's better to attend the services and not to mingle or eat (I don't remember exactly what it is, but it involves something like this), and, at least for the times we're living, it's killing this religion like no other thing could (at least in my country, it's branches against branches, and a sense of hypocrisy and that we're only coming together when there's a conference and everyone is "so happy" to see each other).
I feel like the Mother Church is a bunch of old fella who can't speak or direct a church properly any longer, and it's a shame
EDIT: Just wanted to say I searched Christian Science and 1 RESULT CAME UP. ONLY 1. This is ridiculous, these people are unfit to serve the cause. Never doubting Mary Baker Eddy, never trusting these people

Hey guys, so I'm finally getting therapy with a BPD licensed therapist. It's 150$ bucks a week. Ive been going for a month now and it feels like she cant help me. I'm the impulsive, self destructive type. I really struggle with being in the present moment. It effects everything I do from work, to everyday activities like making my bed and eating. My anxiety is really bad and has been since my FP left me 3 years ago. I used to be addicted to adderall and I abused it to lose weight because I have a terrible self image. I was anorexic. I've been sober from all drugs and alcohol for a little over 3 years. I'm chubby now and I hate that about myself. I also have been diagnosed with OCD and I ruminate often, which takes me away from the present moment. One of my compulsions is looking in the mirror with self disgust. I keep looking in the mirror and hating my reflection. I can't help but look in the mirror over and over again. I want to be perfect but i know i never will be. Yet, i still strive for perfectionism and it fuels my self-hatred. I have really deep self harm scars on both arms and I'm embarrassed to have a job that displays them. I have really really been struggling mentally and I have been for about 3 years. I currently take celexa 20mg for anxiety and ive been on it about 6 weeks. My self esteem is non-exsitant and i worry constantly about my future. I have no friends and I'm incredibly lonely. When I go out in public I compare myself to every single person i see. I am totally self-absorbed about fixing myself. My therapist has me doing Trauma based therapy, where i talk about my trauma with her. For reference, i grew up in poverty with a single mother who was emotionally distant. She had random guys in and out most of my childhood. My father beat her when i was real young and he was an alcholic. He died from a drug OD and left her a single mom. My mother dated a guy named Gregg that would beat the shit out of me 2-3times a week for about 10 years. I had to go to school and lie to my teachers about broken bones and bruises. I have had partners cheat on me and shame me for hating myself. (Christian partner). (I guess hating yourself is a big time sin). I constantly feel shame, no matter what i do. My cortisol levels are through the roof because i am so stressed out. Im losing my hair and my stomach is swollen like a ballon. During our sessions my therapist makes me sit still for 5 minutes and she makes me name my emotions that I feel. She also is making me do "The Bordline Personality Disorder Workbook" by Daniel J Fox. I feel like she hates me because she nakes it seem like i can just magically fucking cure myself. Does this get better? Am I totally fucked? Advice please!

Long story short, I just got in a heated argument with my father over how he treats my 13 year old brother (more on that later). I am 21 years old and they still control a lot of my life. I am financially independent (technically, more on that later as well).
For some background. I was raised VERY religious. Those Christian moms you see on social media that was my father. I never went to prom (because godforbid I got out in the world). I went to a public high school but was still super sheltered. My life outside of school consisted of coming home and working on homework, the extra homework he assigned me, yelling because I never did "good enough," and church youth group (which I hated because I am not a Christian). I made good grades, mostly As, the occasional B, and one C (in chemistry, but I mean come on that shits hard). That was never good enough. Every single assignment I did he had to look at. Study guide for an exam. He had to look at it. Discussion board reply. You guessed it he looked at that too. I didn't get a phone until sophomore year of high school and when I did I got one of those shitty 80 dollar Samsung phones that you couldn't do shit on (and where he checked all my texts, notes, and emails). I was very sheltered. The extent of my fun was shooting the shit with my friends in the cafeteria at lunch and on the bus. I wasn't allowed to go to birthday parties or sleepovers or even go over to a friends house. He is raising my brother the same way, but way worse. If I am ever blessed with kids one day he has taught me what not to do.
Thankfully I am now in my third year of college. I picked a school he didn't want me to go to. Not because of money or anything he just said "you aren't going to a party school. There are too many idiots there you don't need to be around." I rebelled and committed to that school. Hands down the best decision I have ever made. I have a full ride scholarship that pays for my tuition (although it is dirt cheap for in-state already). I also have a scholarship that pays for rent for my 1100 dollar a month apartment and gives me about 500 spending money every month. I consider this my second best accomplisment as screwed up as that may sound. My father controls my money. All of it. I have a credit card that I use and then he pulls that money out of my account. I have no idea how much money I have and what he is doing with said money. He also has access to my Schwab and Vanguard accounts. He says he does this to help me with investing but I know there is more to it. He still wants to control me. I don't even know my damn login to the banking app for Christ sake (sorry not sorry dad for using the Lords name in vane). I know I should have fixed this issue sooner but I didn't want to fuck up our relationship. I am not sure what to do about this.
Another major problem came from this sheltered/overbearing environment I grew up in is my inability to say no to things I have never done before. Throughout my time in college I have experimented with drugs and alcohol (cocaine, weed, molly, lsd, shrooms, xans, oxy, you name it, pretty much with the exception of meth and heroin, I've done it and not just once). I am not proud of this (minus the fun I've had on psychs and even then not one of my better attributes). As a result of his abusive parenting style I have a hard time saying no and give in super easily to peer pressure. So much so that the first friends i met at college I still hang around with. These guys I probably shouldn't be around (the type where daddy pays for everything so they get a four-year drug fueled adventure in college). Don't get me wrong they aren't all that bad but just not the type of people I though I would be hanging around. I never thought I would be sleeping around, going to clubs on a Tuesday, and doing lines of coke off my island at 4pm but here we are. I am not proud of this but feel like I started doing these things because I was finally free. It is so hard to stop now. I think that I hang around them as a sense of rebellion to my parents and a sort of "f u" if you will. I know it is wrong but it feels good to finally be free. I have developed a raging nicotine addiction as well (something I am definitely not proud of). My parents have no idea. I have had to lie to them about things for the past three years.
I don't know if that is a result of my own actions or the years upon years upon years of constant yelling by my father. I mean for fucks sake the man never told me good job on anything. I got an A on a test it wasn't good job. It was "show me the test and what you got wrong," followed by a thirty minute yelling match about how I fucked up on the test. When I got into college on a full ride it wasn't good job it was "that is all because of me and the things I gave you." When I graduated high school it wasn't good job. It was my mom, god bless her she is great but tied down by my father, putting on a dinner party for me with all the neighbors and my parents friends. My dad was there but never even spoke to me (he just bullshitted to his friends about how I was such a hard worker (mind you he never told me this) and other things that narcissists do). I never was told good job when I got Eagle scout. That fucked me up, all of it. I am not one to want praise or one of those participation trophy people but come on that's fucked up at least in my mind. I never heard good job once.
He does the same shit to my brother but worse. My brother is 13 and in seventh grade at a private Christian K-12 school (one of those rich schools where the parents drive benzs and the kids have gucci shoes and shit). My father doesn't send my brother there because it is a better school, trust me, it is not by any stretch of the word. He sends him there to look better (aka "my kid goes to a private school you peasants" type of behavior). Recently, my brother was caught playing a computer game (papa's pizazaria on coolmathgames). Off topic but that is still the best one and you cannot change my mind. When he caught my brother they went at it for four hours. Now my dad checks my brothers search history, backpack and every single piece of paper in every binder every single day. He has moved my brothers desk into the living room and made my brother buy, with his own money, 300 dollar noise cancelling headphones to somehow be able to focus down there. My brother now has developed a twitch and the habit of twirling his hair. It was gotten so bad that some of his hair is falling out because of it and my dad refuses to take responsibility for it. The kid is so stressed that you would think he is on coke or meth the way he acts. He told me that he is scared when my dad comes home from work. I brought this up with my dad and asked him how he feels about his child being scared of him. My dad said nothing. Not one word. I am asking advice/thoughts on this situation.
To end things off I want advice on what I should do moving forward. I am home for the summer and working a job up here but am really considering not working and going back down to my school. I never had a normal childhood and can't stand my brother being treated this way. He is not allowed to go outside and play with the neighbor kids, watch TV, search ANYTHING on his computer, and take breaks longer than dinner away from his "schoolwork." I can't handle this shit anymore. I understand that part of my situation is my doing but I think it partly stems from the years of manipulation and control on behalf of my father. Am I overreacting? What would you do?
P.S. One final thing I wanted to say to get off my chest is that I do not respect this man. He yells at my mother constantly about how when she lets him be a kid and do kid things she is "setting him up for failure." I don't mean yelling I mean cussing and screaming to the point when I go to bed I can hear my mother crying. It hurts me to hear her cry it really does. I'm a bigger dude, 6 foot, 210, built. But that shit hurts. A fucking lot. I'm at the point where he needs to be confronted about it. I have lost every ounce of respect I have ever had for him. This may be an overreaction but I don't think so. He still controls my life. He tracks where I go in school, what I buy, etc. I have to lie to him sometimes but I am okay with that. This is the first real fun I have had in my life. I am doing pretty good in school, 3.1 gpa in a major I (not him) am happy in. I already have a job lined up outside of school making 58k straight out the gate. He has no idea because I don't tell him shit, he doesn't deserve to know in my mind. This is a man who will act super nice around everyone but our family. He is super active in the church and scouting, although he doesn't let my brother go anymore. He constantly gives to charity and volunteers around the community. You would never know this if you watched how our family operates on any given day behind closed doors. The only conversations I have with him now are about "why is there a charge for mexican food on the credit card. you should be studying," or my personal favorite "why is there a charge for x amount of dollars at a convenience store at 9:00 at night. Only bad people hang outside after dark (by bad people he is referring to everyone who is non-Christian by the way)."
This man has held me back so much even in college. I understand that this is partly my fault because as a legal adult I could have stopped this but I did not want to ruin our relationship. He stopped me from going on trips because "people could be drinkng" and has told me that on my 21st birthday (last week) that if he ever catches me drinking or vaping or anything I will not be allowed back into the house. I want to get clean but I do that shit as a fuck you to him. I apologize about cussing so much in here I'm just frustrated and need to get some stuff of my chest. I can't be the only one with parents like this. Right? I refuse to let this situation continue on. Should I do something about the way he treats me and my brother and mom? What do I do? What would you do? FYI cutting him out of my life entirely is not ideal because my mom and I still get along great. I would do it if there was a way to still be able to see my mom as they live in the same house. Minus certain political issues (mostly economic stuff) my dad and I don't agree on anything. He is the most judgemental person I have ever met in my life. I have met upwards of 1000 people in the past couple of years and he is by far the most judgemental person I have ever met. There is not even a close second.
Am I overreacting? What would you do in this situation? God bless and thanks for any and all responses/similar stories you all are willing to share. This seems like a great group of people. Stay blessed and if you need someone to talk to I am here for anything.

Correct me if my premise is wrong but whenever radical Christianity is involved in the news, it’s always in America. Specifically the south and midwestern regions.
We rarely hear about other Christians from other parts of the world having the same beliefs and hatred that American ones do (although I’m not denying that it probably has happened).
Why do American Christians seem to be so focused on Gay marriage, abortion, satanism, and purity more than say, European Christians?

NBSB means no boyfriend since birth. I am curious if men would want that. Does it matter or not at all? If it matters, is it a non negotiable that you will only date women with experience? What if the woman is conservative, want to take things slow, would you still want to try dating her and see if it works out?

Condemnation and judgment are the PUNISHMENT of sin. The execution of judgment is punishment. Taking offense to a Christian who speaks the word of God because a bible verse "struck the wrong chord" in your spirit doesn't mean you are being judged by them. True followers of Christ more than anyone understand forgiveness. It is not that we are perfect, it is that Jesus rescued us from our sin and we choose to turn from it. We still stumble in sin from time to time but the difference is we now strive for righteousness. Receiving Jesus Christ breaks the slavery to sin and binds you into the slavery of righteousness. Just as Jesus sees our hearts not our sin, true believers are no different.
I say true believers because many people use Christianity as a justification for hate speech, thus having tainted the reputation of true believers. We are called to speak the Truth in the hope of conviction which leads to repentance. And repentance to salvation. The truth, while may sting, is not judgment nor hate speech, it is directly from scripture not our own conscious.
John 8:3-7
And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst, They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not. So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
Casting a stone at her is the judgment only someone WITHOUT sin can enforce. Thus, God is the only righteous judge of man wholly justified to dish out punishment.
Conviction is NOT condemnation. If you experience conviction through followers of Christ speaking the True word of God, it is for your benefit. The LORD saved me on the brink of death and He is doing the same when we feel convicted. We shouldn't take offense, instead be glad the LORD has given us grace and opportunity to turn away from our sinful nature. Sin once full-birthed, brings forth death. The gospel is GOOD NEWS and should give us all so much hope. He is coming to our rescue as the time grows nearer and nearer. There's only so much he can do without us allowing Him into every aspect of our lives.
John 8:9-11
And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
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My (ex) boyfriend (27) and I (25) broke up today, mutually. We were together for 2 1/2 years and love each other very much. We decided in December that we wanted to get married and talked to my parents. Due to different religions and cultures my parents disapproved. We waited to see if we could gain their approval but they didn’t change their mind. We also have different religions and in his religion he can’t get married to a non-believer of his faith. We talked to multiple religious leaders that can do the marriage but they all said they wouldn’t do it.
I thought about ending the relationship for the past two days and finally had an in-person discussion with him today. We talked it through and he said he knew it was coming and just didn’t know how to bring it up himself. We were both trying to ignore the reality of our situation that our cultures and religions wouldn’t allow us to get married. So we kept dating and tried to hope for a change in our favor.
When we ended it, he told me not to cry, and that it will take time but we will both eventually move on and meet other people and forget about each other.
It hurt so much going through this breakup and I was balling my eyes out. I told him I didn’t want to think about being with anyone or even the idea of eventually forgetting about him. When we hugged for the last time, I didn’t want to let go. I know this is going to hurt for a while. However, I don’t want to keep looking at his pictures on Instagram and dwell on what we had.
How do I move on in a healthy way? How do I grow from this?

For context, I grew up religious. I was in church 3 days a week, and in high school my plan was to go to seminary school and become a pastor. I have read the Bible front to back and in chronological order.
The thing is, once you become well educated in biblical history and mythology, you find a lot of holes and inconsistencies. Not only that, but some things just don’t make sense, or can’t be proven or justified.
Anyways, long story aside, I leaned towards agnosticism when I was around 19. I am still reluctant to call myself atheist, because I want to believe that there is some kind of higher power at play, but I do not believe in the Christian God (or Hindu, or Islam, or any other all knowing, life giving, omnipotent being.
My family is still extremely religious. I have not tried to sway their belief, because I do believe that for some people, having faith in a deity is beneficial in many ways. However, my parents and siblings are always on my ass about how I need to get back in church and return to the Lord.
Recently, my sister sent me a message about how she hopes that my wife (also a non-believer) and I can get right with God and live the kind of life that we are supposed to live. Mind you, I work in EMS. My entire career is centered around service to my fellow man, while being under paid and overworked the entire time. I volunteer in my free time, perform community service. I treat everyone with respect until they give me a reason not to. But I guess because I drink a beer every now and then and don’t go to church, I’m a bad person.
How have you guys dealt with stuff like this? I’ve tried to simply tell them that it’s not my scene, but they don’t let up. I don’t want to excommunicate my family over something as silly as a difference in religious beliefs.