Personalized quilts

I’m considering purchasing the small Sutton Deluxe, and hope to use it as a casual day bag and also as a packable tote. I’m curious if it’s compact enough for this when folded, and how people have enjoyed wearing it. For outings in the city where I get anywhere from 10k - 30k steps, I have been finding that my leather purses are on the heavy side, and I want to have a very light easy bag to match my casual style. I also imagine myself putting it inside my everyday carry Tumi Ruby backpack that I use for work so that I can have a bag to take for lunch or to a restaurant if needed. I also imagine myself using it for travel, because I never want to squish my leather bags and only the smallest ones are compact enough to fit in my carry on.
I’m also curious for thoughts on the MZ Wallace collection in general. What is your favorite bag? What is your least favorite bag? Do you ever feel less put together when wearing a quilted bag rather than a leather one? Does the lightness of the MZ Wallace bags make a difference in your comfort?
I’ve heard that once people dip their toe in MZ Wallace that they end up buying more and more of the bags, and in a variety of colors. A few months ago, I purchased my first MZ Wallace bag - the Nik in black. I purchased it to use as a personal item when travelling and also as a gym bag. I just returned from a one week trip where I made due with my Nik and a small backpack for the duration of the trip (they were packed to the brim). I think that the Nik in black is very slick looking, I love how light it is, and I love the organization it offers. I don’t love that it slides off of my shoulders constantly and that the items within are prone to getting jumbled due to the softness and lack of structure of the bag. I’d love if anyone can share there experience and preferences with their own MZ Wallace bags, and specifically how you manage a less structured bag.
Lastly, are there any alternative brands that you recommend which fill similar needs?
Thank you to everyone who might share their experience, thoughts, and opinions!!!

hi everyone!!! yesterday i made a post about things to do, even though the comments were insightful. i wanted to make ANOTHER post (feel free to check what everyone has posted on my profile).
i asked chat gpt, to make it easier
as always, feel free to comment anything YOU have tried or personally like doing.
by the way this list does not include….reading, books, or journaling
TO DO/HOBBIES

1. Join a gym or start a fitness routine.
2. Take up running or jogging.
3. Try yoga or Pilates.
4. Learn to dance (salsa, ballroom, hip-hop, etc.).
5. Start a new sport (tennis, soccer, basketball, etc.).
6. Go hiking or explore nature trails.
7. Learn to cook new recipes.
8. Bake pastries or bread.
9. Take up gardening.
10. Try painting or drawing.
11. Learn a musical instrument.
12. Join a choir or singing group.
13. Take a photography class.
14. Start a blog or vlog.
15. Try pottery or ceramics.
16. Take up knitting or crocheting.
17. Learn to sew or quilt.
18. Explore woodworking.
19. Try metalworking or jewelry making.
20. Volunteer at a local charity.
21. Join a community theater group.
22. Take up acting or improv classes.
23. Learn a new language.
24. Travel to new places.
25. Go camping.
26. Try rock climbing.
27. Take up scuba diving or snorkeling.
28. Learn to surf or paddleboard.
29. Try skateboarding or rollerblading.
30. Take up birdwatching.
31. Visit museums or art galleries.
32. Attend concerts or live music events.
33. Join a book club (without focusing on the reading aspect, more for social interaction).
34. Take cooking or baking classes.
35. Start a podcast.
36. Try DIY home improvement projects.
37. Learn graphic design or digital art.
38. Take a course in coding or web development.
39. Try meditation or mindfulness practices.
40. Practice martial arts or self-defense.
41. Explore local cafes and restaurants.
42. Attend local festivals or fairs.
43. Join a board game or trivia night.
44. Take part in escape rooms.
45. Go to comedy shows or open mic nights.
46. Participate in local sports leagues.
47. Try horseback riding.
48. Take up fishing or boating.
49. Visit amusement parks or zoos.
50. Join a local club or interest group (e.g., hiking club, car enthusiasts, etc.).

I should have realized that reviews by members have the interest to over-sell this resort and we should ignore those reviews people. Especially those that said JC steakhouse is good.
Won’t come back and go any palace resorts. And I recommend people haven’t booked not going. * The foods are really just so so. JC steakhouse is especially disappointing. Burnt and dry died ribeye with no flavor, paired with very cheap table wines. Won’t go again even if it’s free. * What even disappoints me more is the way they care nothing about customers. Yes you all have read the reviews about their membership program. What’s even crazier is, all of my family of 4 got diarrhea the third day during the stay, which was pretty bad and made the rest of the stay feel like staying at hospital. And when we just wanted to alleviate the discomfort and asked for medicine, they even charged us a fee for medical service! The fee is small but problem is it feels like they are taking advantage of you for their problem! When I talked to PR and asked for just wave of the fee, all the lady said was just it’s entirely the responsibility of the guests and the hotel doesn’t care to do anything to make you feel even just a bit better. 5 star hotel? I wonder who QA-ed the hotel qualification. * Yea maybe the photoshopped pics of the rooms and lobby look like 5 star, but I’d say that’s pretty much it. My pillows smelled like foie gras, which is extremely disgusting when it’s on the pillows. The rooms are also very humid. Like we turned on AC for the whole day and still come back to wet pillows and quilts. Have I mentioned about mosquitos biting you at night and no hand shower? I don’t know if asking these issues to be solved is too much but I expected 5-star means beating other non-5-stars on every axis. * Amenities are ok I guess. It triggered my nostalgia. The grand waterpark, pools, the grand playroom, the magic show, all felt like something from 15-20 years ago. Enough for kids of 6 to have some fun but definitely not something world class if you want to experience true world class. * They are also stingy on the time you can use some of the amenities, like bowling. This is def a sign of under provisioned capacity without caring to caused bad customer experience. I don’t know if they have an operating/management problem to solve, or they are just trying to be stingy to make the margin from customers * Still giving 2 stars because some staff were genuinely friendly (def not the PR and the sells persons), and having beers and towels everywhere is nice, but 5-star? Well

I'm nearing the finish line on building my first DIY mattress, so I'll share my thought process and how I got to this crazy seeming point, then share what I've ended up with (so far). You can skip the preamble if you just want to get to the action without the back story.

1. I stayed in a nice hotel on a business trip, slept great, came home and realized "wow, my mattress really sucks!" Kinda doesn't matter what my current mattress is, but if you're curious, it's a Layla that I bought 5 years ago. Apparently the fact that I had it for 5 years that means I got my money's worth ($964). So it cost me ~$200/year for a mattress that was never more than "okay"
2. I started the stressful process of researching mattresses. I was on the verge of pulling the trigger on a $1700 Nolah mattress when I stumbled on this video about pocket coil quality.
3. After watching that video, I started trying to find a mattress that has Texas Pocket Coils in it because that video convinced got me worried about the leaning effect of other coils.
4. My search for texas pocket coils didn't turn up much in the way of mattress companies (they don't tend to disclose their components). Instead it ended me up on Reddit DIY threads.
5. After pricing out the components on pocketcoilstore.com (coils), latexmattressfactory.com / https://sleeponlatex.com/ (latex on top of coils), and various enclosure options, I priced out my build at around $1200 for a mattress that'll be at least as nice as the $1700 Nolah. That means i can make up to $500 in "mistakes" of fine tuning what kind of foam i like before i'll have hit the price point i was willing to pay for a "take it or leave it" mattress.
6. As a bonus, I expect those springs to last at least 15 years, probably 20. Even if my latex layer breaks down in 5 years, or if my preferences change, I can replace just the latex and my "per year cost of ownership" will still be much lower than if i have to replace the entire mattress again in 5 years.

Bottom line is that I'm going to have the best coils on the market, combined with (from what I can tell) is the best latex you can currently buy, for less than the price of a pre-built mattress with components that are *probably* optimized for profit, not longevity.
Now for the part people care about: THE BUILD!
First, the all important stats: I'm 6'0" and 185lbs, more muscle than fat, but not a roid monster by any stretch of the imagination. My wife is 5'2" and 145lbs. We both sleep mostly on our sides, with some back sleeping. Maybe 80/20. From a preference standpoint, I prefer a softer bed because I have problems with shoulder pain, and waking up in the middle of the night with tingling in my arms. My wife prefers a bit more firmness than me, but still in the medium-medium firm range.
Ok, that was more preamble, but really, let's talk about the build. I'll include the prices currently listed on the various websites, but we all know prices move around some over time.
Here's what I'm sleeping on tonight:
The finished mattress is a King, the coils are 2xTwinXL, the latex sheets are both King size.
8" QuadCoils (15.5g) from Texas Pocket Springs (Firm sides): $495 $445.50 (10% off when combined with 8")
3" QuadMini from Texas Pocket Springs: $420 $378 (10% off when combined with 8")
2" Soft Dunlop from Sleep On Latex: $235
2" Soft Talalay from Latex Mattress Factory: $374
15" cotton/bamboo cover from Sleep like a Bear: $276
Total: $1708.50
I know what you're thinking: "I thought you said you priced out your build at $1200??" Well, yeah... The stuff I originally priced out was cheaper than what I ended up with. AND, I'm going to make one swap that will knock off $200, bringing me down to ~$1500 (so I can still feel good about not getting the Nolah).
I read all about how Dunlop and Talalay are different, and Talalay is softer, and blah blah blah, but honestly, I can't tell the difference in firmness between the 2" of SOL dunlop and the 2" of LMF Talalay. Save yourself the $140 and just buy the SOL latex. Also, the LMF king size sheet is actually two pieces of TwinXL that they fused together, which left a pretty noticeable seam/bump. I can feel it through my SLAB cover, through the sheets. It's not bad enough to keep me awake at night, just kinda... lame for one of the most expensive sheets of latex on the market. The SOL piece is a continuous king-sized sheet of latex.
So I'm returning the Talalay, and going to try out the 4lb viscoplush memory foam from Foam by Mail. $138 for 2".
Total: $1473 + $45 return fee = $1518
Those of you who haven't already gotten bored and moved on to a shorter thread are probably thinking "I don't care how much it cost, how does it FEEL?"
I tried to be a scientific about it, within the bounds of my wife's patience. The first night, I slept on the QuadCoils + QuadMini + 2" SOL, with no mattress cover. If I was a 100% back sleeper, I'd have stopped right there. It felt great on my back, and I absolutely love how the QuadMini feels. Coming from a solid foam mattress, the bounce feels really nice, and it's the right amount of pressure relief and support. BUT... I'm mostly a side sleeper, and 2" of SOL didn't provide enough softness for my shoulder to sink into.
The 2nd night, I tried just the 8" QuadCoil and the 2" SOL. I didn't expect to like it, I was just curious. As expected, it was way too firm for my liking. I told myself I'd try again with QuadCoil + 2" SOL + 2" Talalay when that layer arrived from LMF, but... I didn't. So I can't speak to that configuration.
3rd night was back to the 8" + QuadMini + 2" SOL while I waited for the LMF order to arrive.
A few days later, the 2" Talalay arrived. Still no mattress cover (or bedframe) at this point. Just the layers stacked on the floor with a fitted sheet over them.
8" QuadCoil + 3" QuadMini + 2" SOL + 2" LMF. My wife thinks it's perfect. I think, it's really great, waaaay better than what I had before, and definitely the nicest mattress I've ever owned. BUT... I really want to give those shoulders something to sink into. So I'm going to swapping the 2" LMF with 2" memory foam. My wife hates the "sinking in" feeling of memory foam, so it's entirely possible I'll end up with foam on my half and another piece of latex on her half to match the height. If I do that, I'll cut my foam in half, and order a TwinXL 2" soft dunlop from SOL for her.
Let's talk about the cover: When you need a 15" cover, there really aren't a lot of choices. The TPS guy (Matan) recommended a stretchy cover, so I ruled out anything quilted, and I think that left me with 3-4 options. I picked the SLAB cover because I'd read positive things in other reviews. Now that I have it, I don't have much to say about it, good or bad. It was a royal PITA to put on, but that might be true of all the covers when you're trying to wrangle 11" of springs and 4" of latex by yourself. The cover is nice, but I think that's another area I could have saved some $$ and not noticed the difference.
As others have noted, the bed definitely "firms up" when you put all the layers in a cover. The advice to "test all the layers without a cover in case you want to change the thickness" is kinda tough because what you feel without a cover is so different than how it feels with the cover. I think my advice would be "buy a 15" cover and 15" worth of stuff, then swap out layers if you don't like how it feels"
Cool factor: When it was just the coils + 2" of latex, the mattress felt like it wasn't retaining any heat at all. It was so much cooler than my old mattress that I actually turned the thermostat up 2 degrees (I live in Florida, and it's summer time). With 4" of latex, it's retaining a little bit more, but not much. Still way cooler than my all-foam. I'm definitely a bit worried that I'm not going to like the heat retention when I swap for the memory foam, but I gotta try it for my whiney shoulders.
Is the QuadMini worth it? I've seen this question on various threads, and definitely one person who feels strongly that it's not worth it. My opinion is a strong YES. I love how it feels. The price was barely more than what you'd pay for 3" of medium dunlop at SOL, and it really gives the mattress that "high end" feel. The coils retain less heat, provide great pressure relief, and...going a bit PG13 here... the bounce is fun.
How's the motion transfer? Basically none. Seriously. Someone else posted there was 0 motion transfer and called out for it, so I'll just say "basically 0". In the movies when the girls/guy wakes up in the morning and their partner is gone, I've always thought "that's total BS, there's no way they wouldn't have noticed the person get up. Well... this morning my wife was gone when I woke up, and I was completely unaware of her getting up. I thought memory foam was supposed to have low motion transfer, but this is better. I think it has to do with the way the coils are engineered. The isolation factor is really impressive.
Do the TwinXLs separate? I went with twin XL on both coil layers for a few reasons: 1) it's cheaper 2) I care a lot about the motion transfer, and figured having the the king split might help a bit 3) It's WAY easier to assemble solo when I'm not wrangling 42sqft of coils in a single sheet. 4) Matan assured me that once the cover was on, with 2+" of latex on top of the QuadMini, everything would hold together with no slipping/gap
Correct on all counts! You'd never know I had TwinXLs under the latex.
I'm sure I could think of more to say, but I've probably rambled on long enough. Happy to answer questions in the comments though.
Special thanks to u/secretlyyourgrandma and u/jessuckapow for sharing their experience! My build is basically just a slightly softer clone of what jessuckapow built.

How did my mother feel the night I was born? Was she proud of her daughter, her own flesh and blood? Or did that fact make her ever so sad? Did she cry, seeing a scant future she herself had lived through? She must have known I would never end up a girl who is happy with life. She must have realised from a young age that she as well, is very much that girl, looking for a feeling that nothing in this life can fulfil. It is a dangerous future for us both, on a search for feelings that seem to come naturally to others, clawing to find a place that can mean something.
In the freshly painted nursery, she holds me in both arms, I am wrapped in a soft pink quilt, she whispers,
"I am sorry for the life I have given you, but I will never regret bringing you into my world."
That's when I understand.
She wants for me what she cannot have for herself, and when she realised I could not accomplish her unclear desires, her love for me will not let my suffering end.
The truth is, I wish my mother hated me, I wish she hated me so deeply that she could not bear anything other than never having me. I wish she was so utterly disgusted and repulsed by the idea of me that, as soon as she knew she carried me inside of her, she destroyed me.
Most of all, I really wish that I lived in a simpler world. I am born, I grow, I find love, I bear a child, I die. I wish I never had to grow old, watching long years pass me by, interacting and feeling, learning and discovering. I want simple desires, a big family, a good job, a lovely place to live.
Life is not so simple. Very harsh. Everything I witness, the good and the bad, fuels my hatred. My hatred for the people around me, who do not think or feel as I do. My hatred for the country I was born in, safe and all too familiar. My hatred for even those who are closest to me, who seem to have an unspoken understanding of the life around them, a life I cannot help but be amazed at. Amazed at the ugly, grotesque, amazed at the beauty, complexity.
Seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling.
Sometimes I feel as though I am the only person who could properly appreciate these senses. The idea rings of loneliness, unrelatability.
All I yearn for is connection, understanding.

EDIT: I got a lot of responses, so I'm going to stop responding to any new offers. If I'm emailing with too many people I won't be able to remember details about your life!
Hey friends,
I'm looking for a long term emailing pal. I'm currently burnt out from writing letters to people who don't mail back! Is it me, am I the problem?? Haha. But I watched "you've got mail" and decided to once again give 'penpalling" another go! 😊
We could be wildly different and I'm sure we could have a decent conversation. I'm looking to talk about anything and everything. Hobbies and weather and work and also what the fuck is wrong with the world and current events and feelings but also movies and laundry lol
On a personal level, my interests include quilting, mending, hiking, gardening, vegan cooking, my two sweet cats. I also like 90s, 00s TV and movies as well as historial fiction and period pieces. But I'm looking for self expansion here so you could be very different and that would be okay to me!
I don't care about your gender - as long as you're not a kid we are good to go!

Hello Reddit it's me again. I just need to write this somewhere since I don't know how I should even go forward with it. As the Title says I found out yesterday why one of my best friends Becky (not her real Name) ignored me for some time now. For the background: Becky and I have the same friends and we met 4 years ago while playing ARK Survival Evolved (a dinosaur survival game). We both are fairly similar with the same stubbornness and we also had some family problems in the past, not related to each other. Since we know each other we got in some bad situations that made talking to each other almost impossible and our friendship could have ended then and there, if our two other friends Ray and Luisa (also not their real Names) talked with us and meditated everything. They are like the big Bro and Sis in our friend group and can solve almost every single thing that happens. Now for my newest problem. Luisa noticed that Becky could use someone to talk to and be near her that has a similar personality like her and so she brought up her bestest and oldest Friend Jenny in. Jenny is like Luisa a very caring, friendly and kindhearted person, with some funny traits. Becky and Jenny quickly became Friends and spend long times together chatting and going out on events. I also was happy for her and Becky's mental health got visibly better. But then Jenny's Mom died and Jenny got into a sad mental health situation. Jenny's therapist told her to exclude some of her stress factor like clingy friends, someone like Becky. So Jenny distanced herself from Becky and for Becky it was like a cancel to her friendship with Jenny. Becky was heartbroken and also became a bit distant to us. I knew about this and understood her feelings. I also got into a deep hole, because my work and school finals dragged me down. I also needed someone to talk outside my normal friend group and that's where I made the mistake: I got close friends with Jenny.This happened at the beginning of 2024 and I didn't told Becky so she wouldn't be mad at me, but Ray said that if she finds out that she will hate me. Well Becky found it out about 2 Weeks ago. Since then she were cold to me and ignored me, but I didn't realize why. Yesterday I asked Ray if he knew something and he told me everything. I feel heartbroken now and have no clue how to apologize to her, I couldn't even see her in her Eyes without feeling an boatload of quilt.
So please could someone help me how to approach that situation, because I don't know how.

On Wednesday, July 14th, 1982, the bodies of three people were discovered floating in the C-51 Canal, eight miles west of U.S. Route 441 on the private property of New Hope Sugar in Belle glade, in Palm Beach County, Florida. The bodies found were of a woman and two men who had been murdered. Investigators have put forth the notion that the murders are drug-related, and that the three were murdered somewhere else before their bodies were dumped.
Jane Doe
The unidentified woman was found wrapped in layers of clothes, bed sheets, and plastic. These wrappings were held together with a clothesline, fishing line and cord from a window. A pair of loose handcuffs were located near her body. Her body was already in an advanced state of decomposition when she was found. She had been shot twice in the back of the head.
The woman was between 18 and 25 years old. She was white and/or hispanic. Her height was between 5ft and 5ft 2in tall. Her teeth were of poor quality, with signs of decay. She was found wearing a scarf, and a light colored t-shirt with an image of a camel with a pyramid and palm trees in a desert background. Also in her possession was a pair of prescription glasses.
John Doe A
This man, one of two unidentified men found with the unidentified woman, was wrapped “mummy-style” in multiple layers of clothes, bed sheets and plastic, as well as being tied to a blue and gold inflatable life raft. A trash bag was covering the man's head. These wrappings were held together by a clothesline, fishing lines and cords from a window. He was handcuffed and had been shot in the back.
The man was between 45 and 55 years old. He was white and/or hispanic. His height was between 5ft 5in and 5ft 7in. His weight was between 140 lbs and 160 lbs. He had black hair, a thick Fu Man Chu style mustache and long mutton chop sideburns. He had extensive dental work done on his teeth. The man had multiple tattoos, including the initials “ZDM” in a diamond shape on his left shoulder, a tattoo of a snake with a woman's head on his left shoulder and the words “Asi Eres Tu” (meaning “That’s what you are”) above the head.
The man was wearing Plain Pocket blue jeans (size 32) with a wide black leather belt. Around his neck, he wore a gold chain with two metal cat charms attached, one yellow and one black. On his left ring finger, he wore a gold ring with a pink stone surrounded by white stones. On his left wrist, he wore a silver National Semiconductor Chronograph brand wrist watch. Also in his possession was an Aquarius medallion keyring with four keys on it.
John Doe B
This man, the other of the two unidentified men, was wrapped in a dark blue quilted bed comforter with a black trash bag covering his head and feet. He had fishing line and rope tied around him. Masking tape was used to cover his mouth and eyes. He had been handcuffed, and the word “STOP” was printed across the handcuff’s keyhole.
The man was between 20 and 45 years old. He was white and/or hispanic. His height was between 5ft 10in and 6ft tall. His weight was 150 lbs to 190 lbs. He had brown hair and a mustache. His teeth had a slight overbite, with signs of several restorations. He wore Marc Phillipe designer brand blue jeans (size 33), gym shorts (size 36-38) and Fruit of the Loom underwear (size 34-36).
41 years onward, this is where the case stands today. Thank you for giving the Palm Beach County Does (1982) a moment of your day.
Sources:
Unidentified Awareness Wiki - Jane Doe)
Unidentified Awareness Wiki - John Doe A)
Unidentified Awareness Wiki - John Doe B)
Doe Network - Jane Doe
Doe Network - John Doe A
Doe Network - John Doe B
NamUs - Jane Doe
NamUs - John Doe A
NamUs - John Doe B

FABRIC OR QUILT MOD
This mod could be private so look hard but not to hard im also bad at explaining stuff so try your best
bassically the mod drops a skeleton skull everytime someone dies and when a player walks over the skull they get all of the items in the person's invintory from the skull

Apologies ahead, this is gonna be a massively long post. I want to give you some context and tell you a little about my now ex best friend and how we got to this point.
I would love to hear your opinions on this matter, but am not looking for advice since I have moved on from this.
My (now 23, F) ex best friend, we'll call her Mary (now 23, F), were inseparable back when we were in school. I would hang out with her almost every day after school. After some time, my family moved very close to where Mary was living - it was a 2 minute walk from my place to hers.
She was my rock and I was hers. We shared everything about each other and could talk about anything and everything, from girl stuff, boys, hobbies, life, future etc. I loved her like a sister.
When she went to a different school after grade 9, we still kept close contact with one another, went to the stores together (even to just buy snacks or milk), we got together to just hang out, whether it was at her place, mine, or at the park next to our homes. She was my everything and I loved her with all my heart, more than I did with my sisters.
I felt like she was the one person I could ALWAYS count on and trust, no matter what.
Now, to give you some insight about what Mary was like as a person (relationship wise). Throughout the 5 years when she started dating guys (before I cut contact with her), it seemed that all of Mary's boyfriends ended up to be toxic after some time.
After many years of seeing how Mary interacted with her boyfriends, I began to believe that the boys turned toxic because of Mary. I know it might seem harsh to say, and I don't want to blame the victim, but that's just my opinion.
For example, there was this guy, let's call him Adam. At first, their relationship seemed like any other teenage relationship, but over time Adam became really controlling over her, even after they broke up. When I asked her about when did it start and what could have triggered it, she admitted to making out with not 1, not 2, but 3 of Adam's ex girlfriends while Mary and Adam were in a relationship.
Yes, Mary is bi. But to make out with your BOYFRIEND'S EXES - now that is screwed up on another level. However, I never told her how I felt about it because it was not my place nor my life.
Then there was Jason, who Mary was in a relationship with after I had started to cut Mary out of my life. When I wasn't on speaking terms with Mary anymore, she texted me about her abusive boyfriend Jason who had violently cut up Mary's childhood teddybear in front of her with a kitchen knife, etc. Jason had separated Mary from her friends and family and wouldn't let her out of their apartment.
Even though I hated her for what she did to me, I immediately went to pick her up. Again, I asked when and how did this behaviour start. Mary told me that one night, when Mary was hanging around at a party with Jason and his girl best friend, let's call her Lucy, who was a lesbian, Mary jokingly asked Jason if he wanted a threesome with them and see them make out. Jason jokingly agreed, but since it was considered a joke, nobody took it seriously nor acted on it. Later, Mary started hanging out with Lucy, without Jason being around, which was not the norm as they would all hang out together.
Then Jason found out that Mary had been making out and fooling around in bed with Lucy. Jason was pissed, and Mary's excuse was that Jason gave his permission - mind you, they were all drunk, he didn't probably even take Mary's question about a threesome seriously and he definitely didn't give permission to cheat on him. That's when the controlling and abusive behaviour started.
It happened with her other boyfriends as well, but you get the point. Mary has always been a very sexual person after we turned 18 and started going to parties and drinking, as teenagers do. Mary would often sensensually dance with me or lap dance on me. The only time I reciprocated with the same energy was when strange men would approach us at parties, then we acted like we were a couple and could easily go away from those situations.
Now, one time when me, Mary, and our other friend Kathy went to a party, I was speaking to a guy from Tinder, let's call him Hank. Hank just so happened to work in one of the clubs and asked if we could meet up, so we did. It was my first time meeting Hank in person.
So, we're at the party, the songs are great, my friends and I are dancing, and I notice Mary often looking behind me where Hank was working. When we had the chance to go to the bar with Hank or just chat, Mary would always position herself between me and Hank. I was a bit frustrated at her behaviour by then, because she made everything so obvious.
When Mary, Kathy and myself were back on the floor dancing, Mary kept looking past my shoulder towards Hank. Then, I noticed Hank walking past us to another room. Shortly after, Mary left the dance floor and went to the direction where Hank went. Kathy and I just figured she went to the bathroom.
Then, a worrying amount of time passed since Mary left, so Kathy and I became worried, maybe Mary was sick in the bathroom, so we went to check on her. As soon as Kathy and I walked in the room with the bathrooms next door, I initially saw Mary sitting on a couch next to Hank, their shoulders touching, and Mary's leg was crossed over to his side.
As soon as Mary noticed us, she scootched herself further from him to the other side of the couch. Weird. And here were we, worried about Mary, while she was being real friendly with Hank (my date).
Later, Hank and I started fooling around, he grabbed my glasses and I was trying to get them back. It was childish but cute at the time. Yet the whole time Mary was trying to physically grab me to keep me from getting to Hank or from continuing this play, so much so that Kathy had to physically restrain Mary to give me this romantically playful memory with Hank.
During the taxi drive home, I confronted Mary about all of her behaviours throughout the night. All she had to say to me was that she had recently broken up with her boyfriend and that it hurt to see another couple happy. Mind you, I was her best friend, and I was on a so called first date with Hank, and even then I only had like 20 minutes total with Hank throughout the party.
That was the first time I saw her trying to sabotage my relationships. To be fair, it was the first guy she met that I was interested in (or in a relationship with), because I had been single for about a year and a half and she never met my first boyfriend. That little red flag stayed in my head, but even after that I never thought that she would ever try to sabotage my relationships or hurt me.
Fast forward maybe a year or so. I was single, Mary was single. Mary was always on different dating apps. That's where she met Caleb. One day, Kathy and I were hanging out at my place and we asked Mary if she was free to hang. Mary said she had a guy over but that we could come to her place, so we did.
There, the first thing I noticed was Caleb's smile. It was lovingly eye-catching. I was so happy for Mary and as girls do, I started asking her how her and Caleb were doing and how far have they gone, and other girl chatter. Mary told me that no way in hell would she get in a relationship with Caleb, she saw him only as a friend material and had told so to Caleb as well. So they decided to stay just friends.
Weeks go by, and Mary, Caleb and I started hanging out a lot together, we became like a best friend trio. Some time after that, Mary said to me that Caleb is flirting with me. I said no way, but slowly became to see it.
I then caught some feelings for Caleb and before acting on any of those feelings, I asked Mary if it would be okay if Caleb and I see where things would go between us, and she had absolutely no problem with it. In fact, she seemed very happy for me.
Then, after Caleb confessed his feelings for me, I told him I felt the same and we started dating. But we still hung out just the three of us most of the time.
After some time, I saw the same behaviour in Mary as I first did with her and Hank at the party. Every time Caleb would pay extra lovey attention to me, Mary would try and get his attention on her instead of me. It happened so many times that I quickly became frustrated with her because I was confused.
I confronted Mary about why she acted like she wanted Caleb and she replied that at first, she didn't mind me dating Caleb since she didn't like him like that, but now that I am dating Caleb, Mary started to like him like more than just a friend. I was so confused and asked her if I need to break it off with Caleb, but she said no, and that she will behave better.
Fast forward to Caleb and I being dating for about 4 months then. I was basically living with Caleb and his mom. Mary asked us to come join a party in a park. So Caleb and I bought booze and went to the park to meet Mary and her friends.
At the park, I drank way too much and was feeling sick and so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. I stayed like that for what felt like an hour or two whilst Caleb, Mary and her friends continued chatting. Or so I thought. Mary's friends had actually left, I didn't know how long ago. Didn't matter since I didn't think anything of it, we had always hung around just the three of us.
I came out of my paralysed zombie state of drunkeness and tiredness to take out my phone, open the taxi app and gave it to Mary to order a cab because if I didn't get out now, I would pass out in the park. I thought that Caleb would get a separate taxi because he lived about 30 minutes car drive to the opposite side of the city than Mary and I. As a reminder, Mary and I lived basically next to each other.
I was conscious enough to realize that Caleb got in the taxi with Mary and I, which I thought was a bit weird but figured maybe he wanted to make sure I get home safe.
The taxi stopped in front of my house and we all get out. I hugged Mary and Caleb and started going inside, when I noticed the cab drove off - again, weird, because I thought Caleb would drive to his house in the cab, but then again, maybe he just orders another taxi for himself. I went inside and fell fast asleep.
The next morning, I woke up, texted with Mary a bit, when I received what looked like an essay from my boyfriend Caleb. As I read it, my eyes filled with tears.
Caleb admitted that after they dropped me off at my house, Mary and Caleb went to a park next to our houses. There, they kissed "and stuff". He continued with saying how it meant nothing and that he only loves me and thinks of Mary as his friend, then some further begging etc. Remember, that's all he said - they went to the park and "kissed and stuff".
Another interesting thing Caleb mentioned was that Mary convinced Caleb to keep this a secret from me, but I guess he felt too much quilt and told me the following morning.
I have never felt this kind of heartbreak. Of course, I called all of our other friends from our friend group and just sobbed on the phone and I remember asking them, how could Mary do this to me.
Years later looking back, I was heartbroken not for Caleb, but for my bestest of friends, who I considered a sister who would never ever hurt me. Mary broke my heart, not my boyfriend Caleb.
Maybe an hour later, when I was just about cried out and my eyes started to hurt, I decided to see how long Mary could keep this act up, like nothing ever happened. Since Caleb confessed to me right away, I met up with him to get the rest of the story, and I ended up continuing with the relationship.
All I could squeeze out from Caleb about the dreadful night, was that when they were sitting at the park, Mary came on to him, kissed him and he kissed her back. Whenever I tried to dig deeper, he just shut down and refused to say a word. So I left it at that.
I continued to communicate with Mary to try and see how long she could go on until confessing to me what they did, but of course, my texting style became more neutral and I didn't engage in any conversation first, but I guess that did not tip her off that I was not okay.
During the next couple of months, I was in the darkest place in my life I have ever been and I hope to never return to that state. I have never been depressed and I don't even know if it was depression.
The best way I can describe what I felt after finding out about Caleb and Mary, is that I was utterly and completely numb to everything - to Caleb, to Mary, to my friends and family, my life goals etc. It was like I didn't have emotions anymore. I didn't have joy, anger, guilt, excitement, interest or any other feeling.
I was just a blob in a universe of dark pressured fog. I didn't feel negative nor positive emotions, I didn't care about consequences, about the future, about myself or any other living human being.
I didn't feel love for Caleb anymore, but I stayed with him. I guess it was because Mary was the one who actually broke my heart and soul, not Caleb.
It took Mary TWO MONTHS to confess to me what she did with Caleb, and even that was because Caleb told Mary that I know about what happened. Since she confessed and was more willing to cooperate than Caleb was, I asked her all the details.
By her story, they went to the park, Caleb came onto her and kissed her and Mary was too afraid to reject his kiss. And Mary said that Caleb was the one to convince Mary to keep it a secret from me.
Come to find out, they then went to Mary's place until Caleb took the first public transport home, because Mary in her kind heart could not leave him at the park because he would fall asleep there and not go home.
During the time they were there, Caleb ordered more alcohol to be delivered at Mary's place. When I asked her what else happened at her place, she said basically nothing.
And to top it off, when it was time for Caleb to go home, she personally drove 40 minutes with him on the tram and walked 15 minutes to "make sure he made it home safe", she then had to take the same route back to her home. I wondered, so much trouble for an adult male, who apparently needs a chaperone home.
No matter how hard I pushed either of them, I never got a full confession about what took place at Mary's house, since the only thing Mary was willing to say was that "some things may have happened".
I truly believe they had sex in some form or another since Mary is the type of person to sleep around whether she was romantically (or boyfriend material wise) interested in them or not, and due to her sexual nature and high sex drive, and because the only time Caleb wanted to have sex was when he was drunk.
After Mary's confession, I minimized my communication with her, but sometimes still texted her because she promised to tell me straight away whenever Caleb got in contact with her. Which he did, multiple times. Both appropriate and inappropriate messages.
When Caleb saw I wasn't hanging out with Mary like I did before (obviously), he said to me multiple times how I should make up with Mary. Why on earth would I have to do anything for Mary after what she and Caleb put me through?
One night, I accepted the challenge, since I didn't care about anything anymore, so I texted Mary and asked if she wanted to go on a drive with me, to which she agreed.
After that, I was still so numb to the world that I wanted to see how they would act together so I asked Caleb if Mary and I could come over, to which he agreed. We played board games for a bit, when Mary said she had to go home to study a bit before going to bed. And what did Caleb do?
He tried to persuade Mary many times to stay, and even offered her to stay the night. I looked at Caleb in complete shock and asked him then and there if he really thought it was appropriate to invite her to stay the night after what we've all been through.
To that he sarcastically told me that it's not like he was gonna crawl into bed with Mary in the middle of the night, to which I was even more shocked, because I just meant that since things happened between them, it's just simply not appropriate, but to see that his mind went straight to a lewd scenario, I was baffled.
Fast forward maybe a week or so, Mary invited Caleb and I to join a party with Mary and her male friend. I first denied the invite, but then again, I wanted to test how far things could go between them if I simply put them in a room together, so we went.
Since Mary was with her male friend, who I guessed she was hooking up with, I didn't think anything interesting would happen between Mary and Caleb that night.
Cue the end of the night, when the club closed and we were ready to get a cab home, Mary insisted that Caleb and I stayed, to which I refused and said I just want to go to sleep, so Mary and her friend left.
After Caleb making me wait in the cold weather for over 45 minutes because he was chatting with a guy that was providing him with more bottles of alcohol (you can't buy alcohol from the stores after a certain time in the evening), I finally got Caleb to get in a taxi with me to drive to his place, where I still practically lived. I sat in the front next to the driver, and Caleb sat right behind me in the backseat.
During the cab drive, he got on a call with who else but Mary, and eventually started to tell her all the lewd things he wanted to do to her, while he was sitting right behind me. I don't know if he was too drunk to realize that I existed and was sitting in front of him. I tried so hard not to cry the whole cab drive, but as soon as we arrived, tears poured down my face.
How it all ended with Caleb, you might ask? Well, I started staying more at my home and Caleb was barely texting me. Eventually, I just asked him straight out if we should just move on with our lives, to which he started to self pity himself again, so I said we're done.
I could write a whole other chapter about Caleb, who was a depressed, alcoholic, "I love you / I don't know how I feel about you right now / I love you" kinda guy. But maybe another time.
And what about Mary? For over a year or two, I missed Mary so much and longed for all the sisterly times we had together, but after talking to a wise new friend of mine, she made me realize that I didn't miss Mary, I just missed the times we had. After that, my longing feelings for Mary faded away.
Right after my break up with Caleb and cutting contact with Mary, I found the love of my life, with whom I have been together for 4 years now. After tossing the toxic ex boyfriend and ex best friend out of my life and accepting the love of a truly pure soul (my current boyfriend), I quickly came out of my numb and emotionless state.
Right now I am the happiest I have ever been with the most loving guy a girl could ask for. Mary still remains in our friend group but I just don't acknowledge her existance. She will never again deserve to be my friend and will not be a part in my life now or never.
If you have made it so far, you are a true champ! Thank you so much for letting me share my story. I wish the best to you all.

Okay. I'm back with more tips and insights to help you improve your craft. Some of you may be thinking, "Oh great, another armchair critic telling me what I'm doing wrong." As someone who's spent years behind the scenes on numerous audio dramas, I've seen my fair share of mistakes. But let's get real - the landscape has changed, and with it, the quality of some productions has suffered. And I'm not just talking about rookie errors - I'm talking about established producers and creators making the same blunders over and over again.
Now, I'm not here to tear anyone down. I'm here to offer guidance and share my expertise. After all, I've recently gone indie myself, and let me tell you - the studio formula is tougher than ever. You need to be on your A-game if you want to stand out in this oversaturated market.
So, read on if you want to take your audio drama game to the next level.
1. Reverb? Great. Overused Reverb? Instant Disaster
Think of reverb like makeup: a little goes a long way. Drenching your audio in it won't hide bad recording quality, it'll bury your entire production beneath a muddy quilt of echoes and delays. Use reverb strategically to enhance specific soundscapes, not as a crutch for shoddy audio.
2. Mono? More Like No. (Got 'em)
Seriously, folks. We have stereo support on all major platforms for a reason. Don't subject your listeners to a flat, one-dimensional experience. Embrace the power of stereo to create a more immersive and engaging soundscape. Even if your audio drama is a "found tapes" thing recorded in the 1880s on wax cylinders. Use stereo, and enjoy the flexibility it'll give you while mixing. Then you can decide if you want to keep the stereo width or not.
3. Your Audio Drama: Not Device-Specific
Headphones, car stereos, kitchen speakers – your listeners will be everywhere. Yeah, 90% of them will be in the car or using headphones but don't drop the ball. It's easy to forget about it and let your stellar mix become a distorted mess. I'm guilty of this. I think, "Dang, this sounds great!" But my headphones are ripped from a studio setting. Chances are the common listener doesn't have that luxury. So, make life easy for them. Test your audio on various speakers to ensure it translates well for everyone.
4. Footsteps: Make Decisions Early
This one's a personal pet peeve. About 70% of audio drama footsteps sound bad. What do I mean? I mean the same stock sound effect mixed poorly. I'm not joking, when I listen to audio dramas for business or pleasure, I keep a bingo card of the same free-to-use footstep sound effects. It's that bad. So, the remedy? Open a sandbox soundscape in your editing software of choice and don't close it until you have a footstep reel that sounds perfect. Make the decision early. Decide on the attack, sustain, and EQ, and stick to it. This will save you so much time and will avoid the muddy, low-end footsteps I hear all the time.
5. The Script? A Blueprint, Not a Bible
Things change in the recording booth all the time. Don't be afraid to adapt the script for the sake of a better performance. Characters might sound different, pacing might need tweaks – that's okay! Embrace collaboration and be flexible. This one's for you, writers. I've seen so many writers burn bridges by not being flexible. (And some of them are still in the business, even after some incendiary texts and middle school drama.) I'm here to tell you that you can be passionate and professional. The script is a starting point, not a holy text etched in stone. If you're part of a team, be a team player--a cornerstone to hold up the ziggurat that is your audio drama.
Fun fact: I was jokingly called "Ben Franklin" by an old co-worker in the studio because I wrote my notes in cursive and used old idioms. We had a tussle over a stupid decision. I got fed up and wrote on the whiteboard: hang together, or hang separately. It was true, so I drafted a compromise that took into account the interests of both parties. I came into the studio weeks later and learned that someone had dropped out. They didn't want to compromise. To this day, the drama is incomplete and will remain that way. RIP.
So, there you have it. I hope that by sharing my expertise, I can inspire some growth and improvement in the community. Now, I need to get back to work on my own projects, I've got some exciting news brewing, and I'll be sharing more about it soon. Stay tuned for updates. Later.

Apologies ahead, this is gonna be a massively long post. I want to give you some context and tell you a little about my now ex best friend and how we got to this point.
I would love to hear your opinions on this matter, but am not looking for advice since I have moved on from this.
My (now 23, F) ex best friend, we'll call her Mary (now 23, F), were inseparable back when we were in school. I would hang out with her almost every day after school. After some time, my family moved very close to where Mary was living - it was a 2 minute walk from my place to hers.
She was my rock and I was hers. We shared everything about each other and could talk about anything and everything, from girl stuff, boys, hobbies, life, future etc. I loved her like a sister.
When she went to a different school after grade 9, we still kept close contact with one another, went to the stores together (even to just buy snacks or milk), we got together to just hang out, whether it was at her place, mine, or at the park next to our homes. She was my everything and I loved her with all my heart, more than I did with my sisters.
I felt like she was the one person I could ALWAYS count on and trust, no matter what.
Now, to give you some insight about what Mary was like as a person (relationship wise). Throughout the 5 years when she started dating guys (before I cut contact with her), it seemed that all of Mary's boyfriends ended up to be toxic after some time.
After many years of seeing how Mary interacted with her boyfriends, I began to believe that the boys turned toxic because of Mary. I know it might seem harsh to say, and I don't want to blame the victim, but that's just my opinion.
For example, there was this guy, let's call him Adam. At first, their relationship seemed like any other teenage relationship, but over time Adam became really controlling over her, even after they broke up. When I asked her about when did it start and what could have triggered it, she admitted to making out with not 1, not 2, but 3 of Adam's ex girlfriends while Mary and Adam were in a relationship.
Yes, Mary is bi. But to make out with your BOYFRIEND'S EXES - now that is screwed up on another level. However, I never told her how I felt about it because it was not my place nor my life.
Then there was Jason, who Mary was in a relationship with after I had started to cut Mary out of my life. When I wasn't on speaking terms with Mary anymore, she texted me about her abusive boyfriend Jason who had violently cut up Mary's childhood teddybear in front of her with a kitchen knife, etc. Jason had separated Mary from her friends and family and wouldn't let her out of their apartment.
Even though I hated her for what she did to me, I immediately went to pick her up. Again, I asked when and how did this behaviour start. Mary told me that one night, when Mary was hanging around at a party with Jason and his girl best friend, let's call her Lucy, who was a lesbian, Mary jokingly asked Jason if he wanted a threesome with them and see them make out. Jason jokingly agreed, but since it was considered a joke, nobody took it seriously nor acted on it. Later, Mary started hanging out with Lucy, without Jason being around, which was not the norm as they would all hang out together.
Then Jason found out that Mary had been making out and fooling around in bed with Lucy. Jason was pissed, and Mary's excuse was that Jason gave his permission - mind you, they were all drunk, he didn't probably even take Mary's question about a threesome seriously and he definitely didn't give permission to cheat on him. That's when the controlling and abusive behaviour started.
It happened with her other boyfriends as well, but you get the point. Mary has always been a very sexual person after we turned 18 and started going to parties and drinking, as teenagers do. Mary would often sensensually dance with me or lap dance on me. The only time I reciprocated with the same energy was when strange men would approach us at parties, then we acted like we were a couple and could easily go away from those situations.
Now, one time when me, Mary, and our other friend Kathy went to a party, I was speaking to a guy from Tinder, let's call him Hank. Hank just so happened to work in one of the clubs and asked if we could meet up, so we did. It was my first time meeting Hank in person.
So, we're at the party, the songs are great, my friends and I are dancing, and I notice Mary often looking behind me where Hank was working. When we had the chance to go to the bar with Hank or just chat, Mary would always position herself between me and Hank. I was a bit frustrated at her behaviour by then, because she made everything so obvious.
When Mary, Kathy and myself were back on the floor dancing, Mary kept looking past my shoulder towards Hank. Then, I noticed Hank walking past us to another room. Shortly after, Mary left the dance floor and went to the direction where Hank went. Kathy and I just figured she went to the bathroom.
Then, a worrying amount of time passed since Mary left, so Kathy and I became worried, maybe Mary was sick in the bathroom, so we went to check on her. As soon as Kathy and I walked in the room with the bathrooms next door, I initially saw Mary sitting on a couch next to Hank, their shoulders touching, and Mary's leg was crossed over to his side.
As soon as Mary noticed us, she scootched herself further from him to the other side of the couch. Weird. And here were we, worried about Mary, while she was being real friendly with Hank (my date).
Later, Hank and I started fooling around, he grabbed my glasses and I was trying to get them back. It was childish but cute at the time. Yet the whole time Mary was trying to physically grab me to keep me from getting to Hank or from continuing this play, so much so that Kathy had to physically restrain Mary to give me this romantically playful memory with Hank.
During the taxi drive home, I confronted Mary about all of her behaviours throughout the night. All she had to say to me was that she had recently broken up with her boyfriend and that it hurt to see another couple happy. Mind you, I was her best friend, and I was on a so called first date with Hank, and even then I only had like 20 minutes total with Hank throughout the party.
That was the first time I saw her trying to sabotage my relationships. To be fair, it was the first guy she met that I was interested in (or in a relationship with), because I had been single for about a year and a half and she never met my first boyfriend. That little red flag stayed in my head, but even after that I never thought that she would ever try to sabotage my relationships or hurt me.
Fast forward maybe a year or so. I was single, Mary was single. Mary was always on different dating apps. That's where she met Caleb. One day, Kathy and I were hanging out at my place and we asked Mary if she was free to hang. Mary said she had a guy over but that we could come to her place, so we did.
There, the first thing I noticed was Caleb's smile. It was lovingly eye-catching. I was so happy for Mary and as girls do, I started asking her how her and Caleb were doing and how far have they gone, and other girl chatter. Mary told me that no way in hell would she get in a relationship with Caleb, she saw him only as a friend material and had told so to Caleb as well. So they decided to stay just friends.
Weeks go by, and Mary, Caleb and I started hanging out a lot together, we became like a best friend trio. Some time after that, Mary said to me that Caleb is flirting with me. I said no way, but slowly became to see it.
I then caught some feelings for Caleb and before acting on any of those feelings, I asked Mary if it would be okay if Caleb and I see where things would go between us, and she had absolutely no problem with it. In fact, she seemed very happy for me.
Then, after Caleb confessed his feelings for me, I told him I felt the same and we started dating. But we still hung out just the three of us most of the time.
After some time, I saw the same behaviour in Mary as I first did with her and Hank at the party. Every time Caleb would pay extra lovey attention to me, Mary would try and get his attention on her instead of me. It happened so many times that I quickly became frustrated with her because I was confused.
I confronted Mary about why she acted like she wanted Caleb and she replied that at first, she didn't mind me dating Caleb since she didn't like him like that, but now that I am dating Caleb, Mary started to like him like more than just a friend. I was so confused and asked her if I need to break it off with Caleb, but she said no, and that she will behave better.
Fast forward to Caleb and I being dating for about 4 months then. I was basically living with Caleb and his mom. Mary asked us to come join a party in a park. So Caleb and I bought booze and went to the park to meet Mary and her friends.
At the park, I drank way too much and was feeling sick and so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. I stayed like that for what felt like an hour or two whilst Caleb, Mary and her friends continued chatting. Or so I thought. Mary's friends had actually left, I didn't know how long ago. Didn't matter since I didn't think anything of it, we had always hung around just the three of us.
I came out of my paralysed zombie state of drunkeness and tiredness to take out my phone, open the taxi app and gave it to Mary to order a cab because if I didn't get out now, I would pass out in the park. I thought that Caleb would get a separate taxi because he lived about 30 minutes car drive to the opposite side of the city than Mary and I. As a reminder, Mary and I lived basically next to each other.
I was conscious enough to realize that Caleb got in the taxi with Mary and I, which I thought was a bit weird but figured maybe he wanted to make sure I get home safe.
The taxi stopped in front of my house and we all get out. I hugged Mary and Caleb and started going inside, when I noticed the cab drove off - again, weird, because I thought Caleb would drive to his house in the cab, but then again, maybe he just orders another taxi for himself. I went inside and fell fast asleep.
The next morning, I woke up, texted with Mary a bit, when I received what looked like an essay from my boyfriend Caleb. As I read it, my eyes filled with tears.
Caleb admitted that after they dropped me off at my house, Mary and Caleb went to a park next to our houses. There, they kissed "and stuff". He continued with saying how it meant nothing and that he only loves me and thinks of Mary as his friend, then some further begging etc. Remember, that's all he said - they went to the park and "kissed and stuff".
Another interesting thing Caleb mentioned was that Mary convinced Caleb to keep this a secret from me, but I guess he felt too much quilt and told me the following morning.
I have never felt this kind of heartbreak. Of course, I called all of our other friends from our friend group and just sobbed on the phone and I remember asking them, how could Mary do this to me.
Years later looking back, I was heartbroken not for Caleb, but for my bestest of friends, who I considered a sister who would never ever hurt me. Mary broke my heart, not my boyfriend Caleb.
Maybe an hour later, when I was just about cried out and my eyes started to hurt, I decided to see how long Mary could keep this act up, like nothing ever happened. Since Caleb confessed to me right away, I met up with him to get the rest of the story, and I ended up continuing with the relationship.
All I could squeeze out from Caleb about the dreadful night, was that when they were sitting at the park, Mary came on to him, kissed him and he kissed her back. Whenever I tried to dig deeper, he just shut down and refused to say a word. So I left it at that.
I continued to communicate with Mary to try and see how long she could go on until confessing to me what they did, but of course, my texting style became more neutral and I didn't engage in any conversation first, but I guess that did not tip her off that I was not okay.
During the next couple of months, I was in the darkest place in my life I have ever been and I hope to never return to that state. I have never been depressed and I don't even know if it was depression.
The best way I can describe what I felt after finding out about Caleb and Mary, is that I was utterly and completely numb to everything - to Caleb, to Mary, to my friends and family, my life goals etc. It was like I didn't have emotions anymore. I didn't have joy, anger, guilt, excitement, interest or any other feeling.
I was just a blob in a universe of dark pressured fog. I didn't feel negative nor positive emotions, I didn't care about consequences, about the future, about myself or any other living human being.
I didn't feel love for Caleb anymore, but I stayed with him. I guess it was because Mary was the one who actually broke my heart and soul, not Caleb.
It took Mary TWO MONTHS to confess to me what she did with Caleb, and even that was because Caleb told Mary that I know about what happened. Since she confessed and was more willing to cooperate than Caleb was, I asked her all the details.
By her story, they went to the park, Caleb came onto her and kissed her and Mary was too afraid to reject his kiss. And Mary said that Caleb was the one to convince Mary to keep it a secret from me.
Come to find out, they then went to Mary's place until Caleb took the first public transport home, because Mary in her kind heart could not leave him at the park because he would fall asleep there and not go home.
During the time they were there, Caleb ordered more alcohol to be delivered at Mary's place. When I asked her what else happened at her place, she said basically nothing.
And to top it off, when it was time for Caleb to go home, she personally drove 40 minutes with him on the tram and walked 15 minutes to "make sure he made it home safe", she then had to take the same route back to her home. I wondered, so much trouble for an adult male, who apparently needs a chaperone home.
No matter how hard I pushed either of them, I never got a full confession about what took place at Mary's house, since the only thing Mary was willing to say was that "some things may have happened".
I truly believe they had sex in some form or another since Mary is the type of person to sleep around whether she was romantically (or boyfriend material wise) interested in them or not, and due to her sexual nature and high sex drive, and because the only time Caleb wanted to have sex was when he was drunk.
After Mary's confession, I minimized my communication with her, but sometimes still texted her because she promised to tell me straight away whenever Caleb got in contact with her. Which he did, multiple times. Both appropriate and inappropriate messages.
When Caleb saw I wasn't hanging out with Mary like I did before (obviously), he said to me multiple times how I should make up with Mary. Why on earth would I have to do anything for Mary after what she and Caleb put me through?
One night, I accepted the challenge, since I didn't care about anything anymore, so I texted Mary and asked if she wanted to go on a drive with me, to which she agreed.
After that, I was still so numb to the world that I wanted to see how they would act together so I asked Caleb if Mary and I could come over, to which he agreed. We played board games for a bit, when Mary said she had to go home to study a bit before going to bed. And what did Caleb do?
He tried to persuade Mary many times to stay, and even offered her to stay the night. I looked at Caleb in complete shock and asked him then and there if he really thought it was appropriate to invite her to stay the night after what we've all been through.
To that he sarcastically told me that it's not like he was gonna crawl into bed with Mary in the middle of the night, to which I was even more shocked, because I just meant that since things happened between them, it's just simply not appropriate, but to see that his mind went straight to a lewd scenario, I was baffled.
Fast forward maybe a week or so, Mary invited Caleb and I to join a party with Mary and her male friend. I first denied the invite, but then again, I wanted to test how far things could go between them if I simply put them in a room together, so we went.
Since Mary was with her male friend, who I guessed she was hooking up with, I didn't think anything interesting would happen between Mary and Caleb that night.
Cue the end of the night, when the club closed and we were ready to get a cab home, Mary insisted that Caleb and I stayed, to which I refused and said I just want to go to sleep, so Mary and her friend left.
After Caleb making me wait in the cold weather for over 45 minutes because he was chatting with a guy that was providing him with more bottles of alcohol (you can't buy alcohol from the stores after a certain time in the evening), I finally got Caleb to get in a taxi with me to drive to his place, where I still practically lived. I sat in the front next to the driver, and Caleb sat right behind me in the backseat.
During the cab drive, he got on a call with who else but Mary, and eventually started to tell her all the lewd things he wanted to do to her, while he was sitting right behind me. I don't know if he was too drunk to realize that I existed and was sitting in front of him. I tried so hard not to cry the whole cab drive, but as soon as we arrived, tears poured down my face.
How it all ended with Caleb, you might ask? Well, I started staying more at my home and Caleb was barely texting me. Eventually, I just asked him straight out if we should just move on with our lives, to which he started to self pity himself again, so I said we're done.
I could write a whole other chapter about Caleb, who was a depressed, alcoholic, "I love you / I don't know how I feel about you right now / I love you" kinda guy. But maybe another time.
And what about Mary? For over a year or two, I missed Mary so much and longed for all the sisterly times we had together, but after talking to a wise new friend of mine, she made me realize that I didn't miss Mary, I just missed the times we had. After that, my longing feelings for Mary faded away.
Right after my break up with Caleb and cutting contact with Mary, I found the love of my life, with whom I have been together for 4 years now. After tossing the toxic ex boyfriend and ex best friend out of my life and accepting the love of a truly pure soul (my current boyfriend), I quickly came out of my numb and emotionless state.
Right now I am the happiest I have ever been with the most loving guy a girl could ask for. Mary still remains in our friend group but I just don't acknowledge her existance. She will never again deserve to be my friend and will not be a part in my life now or never.
If you have made it so far, you are a true champ! Thank you so much for letting me share my story. I wish the best to you all.

i'm working on a novel and would like to know if anyone could tell me any improvements i could make to the first chapter and prologue
Prologue
The day had started the same way it had for the past two years. The only difference was that I was going home. The hallway was crowded with people walking to and from their classes. Everyone was crowded next to each other so the halls were making the area feel claustrophobic. All the people talking mixed with the summer heat made me feel like I was locked in a sauna. I walked with Preston to the last class we would ever have together and as usual he was smiling. I never got why he always smiled even in situations where people should be sad he still smiled. He knew what today meant for me and he tried to keep light of the situation. I kept my head down away from what was ahead of me. My mind was too clouded about returning to see my family to notice anything in front of me. I walked into another student. It felt like I had walked into a wall. I knew immediately I had walked into tree. I stumble onto the ground and the commotion around me slows down to make room for us. He turned his bulky body around and apologized profusely without saying a word even though I had walked into him. He helped me off of the ground before hurrying down the hall.
“Alexandria, are you doing okay?” Preston said he had tilted his body downward so I had to look down to look him in his eyes. The way he was standing made him look like an idiot but he didn't seem to care. The way he acted made me laugh, which caused his smile to widen.
“I'm doing fine, just got lost in my head.”
“Thinking about how you’ll leave soon,” he said
“Was it that obvious?” He was the only person I told about me being an exchange student. I came to spend high school in Newkinawa and he was the only person I ever hung out with.
“I see what you mean,” he said “Newkinawa is a beautiful place with beautiful people to live in it…myself included”
“You wish,” I say with a smile we continue walking through the hallway “I'm just not excited to go back yet”
After I say that his smile grows wider “So you will miss me after all”
“I wouldn't say that much” I responded whilst smiling.
We had made it to our last class only to see it closed with a sign labeled “Uma incident” Uma was a student known for messing with the chemistry lab and destroying school property in the process. I've never actually met her but Preston says “She's a little weird but still nice”
“Guess class is canceled for today,” Preston remarked with a smile “Wanna go out to the court till the bell rings.”
“Sure let's go” I respond
The place we ate every day was outside. It used to be a tennis court before I moved in. Now they put trees and flowers all over the place. Preston really liked the blue color of the flowers but it just never clicked for me. I look over at Preston and he's staring up at the sky. There are a number of clouds in almost enough to block the sun but it still pokes its rays through and lands on Preston's face. The clouds swim in front of the sun till they block out the sun's light. Preston faces towards me.
“I'm gonna miss you Alexandria” he says
“You know you can just call me Alex,” I replied. I start to smile again. “I'll miss you too!" He smiles toward me again as we get up to leave as the clouds start to clump together and rain slowly falls. As we're walking back to the school there's a loud tearing sound followed by screams as the ground shakes.
The ground tears itself apart as the dirt and stone erupt from the ground. The sky blackens and a pale blue light escapes the earth. Then creatures erupt from the ground in a violent ejection from the earth creating a white pillar diffusing as they reach higher in the air. Some are clawing their way out of the cracks like maggots out of a corpse. People are swept into the updraft screaming for their lives.
The creatures descend like a tidal wave and tear apart any people caught in their path. They storm out of the crack in hundreds as more cracks in the earth form. Me and Preston started running away as people were screaming behind us. A girl running next to us has her legs slashed by a creature. The monster begins to tear open her chest as she chokes on her own blood. The monster shovels her lungs and innards into its decrepit mouth. Me and Preston keep running until we're met at the entrance of the school and we catch the attention of a monster as it begins to savagely rush toward us. The monster resembles ghosts my father told me about. But this one looks monstrously horrific. It floats in the air and opens its mouth so wide it nearly replaces its entire torso; its jaws hold savage teeth each the same old gray color of its body. Its eyes glow a rotten yellow color through the dark. It stretches out its arms showing its giant hands and claws like fingers. It swipes at us leaving a giant claw mark on the door behind us but Preston ducks my body down to avoid the attack. We run around it as the monster swaps its focus to another bystander. Screaming past us. Me and Preston run into the parking lot as people scream around us. We hide next to a car.
“What the hell is happening!?” I yell to Preston. More of the creatures fly over us and swoop down to people like vultures on roadkill devouring the fleeing people.
Preston starts to breathe heavily ”we need to get out of here and someplace safer”. As we were talking one of the monster phases through the car we were hiding next to forcing us to run into the street.
“Lets go to your house till things cool down” i say to Preston through panted breaths
“Wait couldn't we head to your house instead” Preston says.
“Why would that matter your house is closer anyways” i respond
“But-” Preston is interrupted by two creatures swooping above us to grab another person. The two monsters begin to pull the person apart while he writhes in pain before having his flesh be torn in half and having his organs be devoured.
“Come on lets go!!” I say as I grab his hand and run even faster.
By the time we reach Preston's house any living person is gone. On the street are just corpses laying torn and mutilated on the roads and sidewalk. The air in the neighborhood feels cold despite the season being summer. When I walk down the street I can still hear the occasional horrific wail the monsters give off. We move closer to Preston's house and I can see him sweating. He looked more worried than before when the creatures were chasing us and he kept darting his eyes away from his home.
“Preston, are you feeling okay?” he doesn't respond to my question and keeps darting his eyes. He walks slowly behind me and as I reach for the door handle and when I touch it it feels nearly freezing. I wrap my hoodie around my hand and slowly open the door. The house is quiet so me and Preston creep further into his house. The inside is cold and damp as if we were locked in a freezer. The further we move into the house the louder a subtle chewing sound is heard.
“It sounds like rats are eating a dead cow over there” I whisper. Preston continues to stay silent behind me. We slowly walk closer towards the kitchen and the sound gets louder and louder and louder until we reach the room.
We're met with a rancid smell of vomit and blood. My blood starts to run cold and every instinct in my body is telling me to run. I can feel Preston breathing get heavier as we get closer. We turn the corner and see Preston's mom lying on the ground dead with one of the creatures hunched over slurping her intestines. The sight causes me to vomit alerting the monster to our presence. The creature turns around and its mouth turns into a mortifying grin as it flies into Preston's moms body. The corpse begins to rise and spur splashing blood over the kitchen. When the corpse stops spasming it picks itself up from the ground and with glazed over eyes it holds its intestines in its hand and gives us the same grin it did when it was outside her body. The possessed corpse lunges at me and starts to chase me around the kitchen. The body is running into the walls and cabinets spraying its blood and other loose organs around the area as I'm avoiding its assault. The corpse leans over and ejects one of its loose intestines towards me, wrapping me in it. It pulls me towards it so fast I'm flung towards the ground. The corpse limbers over to me and raises its free hand aiming for my head. The creature's deranged smile causes the corpse’s cheeks to tear apart. It places both of its bloodied and demented hands on my face and starts to press my skull into the ground. I struggle to breathe. The room starts to get dark and blood escapes my head.
Until Preston jumps on top of his mothers corpse with a kitchen knife and repeatedly stabs it in the head. The possessed body tries to shake him off but he keeps stabbing, blood gets in on his face and tears start to escape his eyes. The creature violently ejects from the corpse's mouth causing her head to nearly explode and Preston stops stabbing the body. The body falls over in a splash of blood and organs. The monster leaves phasing through the roof leaving Preston crying over his mother's body. As the blood mixes with the tears he collapses to his knees crying. I walk over and hug him as the air around us turns bitter and the chill of death leaves the room and us with it.
Chapter 1 Eclipse
It's been 2 months since the apocalypse started. We've kept ourselves alive by looting grocery stores and houses, we hide from the creatures as we have no way to fight back against them. Preston came up with the idea to call them glanter’s. He’s looking better since we left his family home but I can tell something is wrong with him that he's not telling me. Everytime I ask him about it he tells me it's no big deal. I asked him earlier today and he just told me
“don't worry about it, I'm over it” without even looking at me. Now we're walking through the street and I'm walking behind Preston, I can barely see his head past the giant bag we're both carrying on our backs we use to carry supplies. I look up at the sky and it's still pitch black except for the moon giving us any amount of light. Preston turns around to face me.
“Let's check out that house, it might have some cool stuff in it” he points to a white house to our right. The house is a two story building with steps leading to the front door. There's a generator poking out from the backyard. The driveway is empty save for a couple of dried blood stains and tire marks. It's similar to the other houses in the neighborhood except for a couple broken windows.
“Sure why not” We head over to the house and I see something shining on the side of the house in the corner of my eye. I turn my head to look at it closer but it quickly disappears before I can see it clearly.
“Probably squirrel or something” I mumble to myself. Preston walks up the stairs to the house and I walk up the steps behind him as a breeze blows past my face. Preston tries to turn the door knob but the door is locked. I start to pull out a lockpick I grabbed at the store earlier. I motion towards Preston to move out of the way as I kneel down to pick the lock. It takes me a couple of minutes to unlock the door so I walk inside the house and Preston follows behind me while closing and locking the door. The doorway of the house leads to a dark room so I take a flashlight out of my bag to illuminate the area. Were put into the living room and bookshelves are on the walls and a large TV sat in front of a large black couch with smaller chairs surrounding it. Dust is covering every surface of the room and spiderwebs litter the corners of the walls. The area smells like moth balls and there's a lack of blood anywhere nearby.
“Guess the owners got out before the Glanter’s got in, '' I say to Preston. When he doesn't respond I turn around and he's already looking further into the house. When I find him he's managed to find a flight of stairs that lead to a lower portion of the house.
“I'll check on him later,” I think to myself as I headed towards the kitchen to see if we could restock on food. I walk past a bedroom and remark on how childish it looked. The walls were painted with blue and green stripes and a bunk bed sat on the right wall. There's a chest at the foot of the bed so I walk over and lift the top off of it. The box is layered with children's toys, a multitude of dolls, bears, and figures all jut out of the box. I notice a small robot toy and inspect it in my hands.
The cold metal makes my hand shiver and the sharp body shape makes the robot bigger than my hand. There's red lining around the robot's buttons surrounded by the cold gray of the robot's “skin”. It reminds me of a toy my little brother had. My heart feels heavy as I worry about what happened to my family. If they're alive, dead, or worse…possessed. The thoughts send a chill down my spine but I push them aside for now. I put the toy in my bag and exit the bedroom.
I can see the kitchen is down the hallway so I walk down the hall and enter. The kitchen is pretty clean except for a couple of dishes in the sink and the dust. There's a table seated for 3 people in the center of the room. I start opening the cabinets in search for any food or water. There's boxes of cereal leftover on top of shelves and a mix of chip bags and cookies in neat boxes stationed in the cabinets.
“Score,” I say to myself as I begin to put the snacks into my bag. When the cabinets are empty I look inside the fridge. The inside of the fridge ran out of power so most of the food inside is rotted. There are a couple of bottles of water in the front so I shove those in my bag. There's also a bag of oranges that still seem to be healthy in the back. I grab them and toss them on the table. There's rotten sandwich meat hidden in the drawer of the fridge.it smells like a dumpster outside of a butcher shop. I wrinkle my nose at the smell. I look around the kitchen for any bread with no luck.
I continue to look through the fridge until I hear Preston scream from another room. Immediately I bolt out of the kitchen leaving my bag behind and run towards the lower part of the house. I run down the stairs and nearly trip on the steps. The stairs lead to a big room. There are posters to tv shows and movies I don't recognize. The walls are painted black and there's a bear skin rug on the floor. I notice Preston standing next to a really big TV hyperventilating. I walk over to him and ask him.
“Are you ok? What happened?”
He talks through deep breaths “I… saw a… spider.”
“What?!” I respond in confusion.
“It was really big and I had jumped at my face”
“Sure it was.” I say while laughing “Let's go upstairs there's some food in the fridge we can eat”
“Wait, I think you should check this out.” He says while pointing towards one of the walls. I grab Preston's flashlight off the floor and face it towards the wall. Hanging halfway off the wall is a large map labeled Newkiwana scavenger hunt of 76.
“I think we should take it,” Preston says “You can read a map right?”
“A little but I'm not the best at it,” I say to him “can you read a map?”
“it shouldn’t be too hard it’s mainly pictures any way I'm sure I can figure it out”
I walk over to the wall where the map is hung there are trophies covering tables and shelved in their own personal cases one of them reads “1st place 100-meter swimming competition for 1986 Zack Hemmingway” and another one reads “2nd place 100-meter swimming competition for 1989 Zack Hemmingway”
“Guess this guy really liked swimming,” Preston remarks while staring at a wall of newspaper clippings. All of them are about the same person in swimming competitions. All labeled different things like “a new record for Zack “the dolphin” Hemmingway”,
‘Zach Hemmingway our star plans for the future” all the newspapers are about this kind he has paler skin and a bulky enough build to swim pretty well. Most of the pictures have him coming out of the water in a pool, his long black hair soaked and sitting at his shoulders. Another one has him sitting at a desk over a pile of books and his hair in a knot , “vicious wipeout ends the Dolphins career”, and “ex-swim champ Zack Hemmingway found in a drunken stupor outside strip club.
“Everyone has their own hobbies I guess,” I say as I take the map off of the wall and fold it up. “Sucks what happened to Zack though” I walked over to Preston’s bag and put the rolled map in one of the pockets. I walk back up the stairs and Preston grabs his bag and follows behind me.
We make our way towards the kitchen and Preston starts looking through the fridge for anything to eat. I grab an orange from the table and throw it at his head. The fruit bounces off his head and rolls on the floor. He turns around and grabs the fruit from the floor
“Why did you throw an orange at me?”
“It's the only food we have unless you plan on eating spoiled a sandwich“ He starts to peel it while walking towards the table. We both take a seat and start to eat the oranges from the bag. He plants his feet on top of the table and bites into the fully peeled orange. I grab a water bottle from a bag and start to drink from it as Preston says.
“I saw a dvd player in that man cave downstairs we could watch a movie if it still has power”
“Sure it could be fun.” Me and Preston spend the rest of our time eating until the bag of oranges is emptied and we head back downstairs. Preston grabs the DVD player from under the table and blows the dust off the top of it; he plugs it into the wall as I plop myself onto the couch. He plugs the DVD player into the TV and sits on the recliner next to me. He presses a few buttons on the remote and the TV lights up. I squint my eyes at how bright it is. It's the most amount of light I've seen that didn't come from a flashlight. I notice there's a box filled with DVDs. I pull the box over towards me. I ruffle through the box and see movies like Silence of the Lambs, Terminator 2, and Home alone.
“Dude some of these came out just before the world turned inside out” I say to him.
“Really? Let's play one.” He responds. I toss him Terminator 2 and he puts it into the DVD player.
We spend the next couple hours watching movies and laughing together. It's some of our only moments of peace we’ve had since the end of the world and to me it's the most fun I've had yet. We're putting in the next DVD when there's a loud crash outside and the TV shuts off. Preston goes behind it to see if it's still plugged in.
“I think the generator outside is busted” i say
“It seems that way” Preston replies while backing away from the tv” i'm gonna go check it out”
“Don't worry I got it” I say as I hop out of my chair. Preston waves goodbye as I head up the stairs. I make my way back through the hallway leading to the living room and front door. I reach the door and start to turn the knob. I open the door wide as a car speeds down the street. I step out of the door to see what had happened when I hear the screech of a glanter. It cuts through the sky like an unholy opera singer. A group of them fly by and chase the car as I rush back inside the house. I slam the door shut and look through the window as I see a couple of smaller glanters grab and shake the car violently looking for the driver. They tear at it, ripping off doors and breaking the windows. The driver screams as the seats cover with blood and he's ripped out of the car as multiple smaller glanters tear and bite off parts of his body like piranha's until his body is completely devoured. I run back to the man cave to warn Preston about what had happened. I spot him laying in his chair spinning a DVD disc on his finger.
“It's not safe outside right now”
“Why not?
“There's glanter's outside, they just ate a dude in his car”
“Did they see you come inside?”
“I don't think so , they flew off before I went inside.”
“well we're not dead so I'm gonna say they didn't see you. But let's stay here for a couple more hours just to be safe”
“Sounds good i'm gonna go find the master bedroom.” I start to walk back up the stairs to the house
“ Hold on why do you get the master bedroom” Preston says while walking after me.
“Because I'm gonna find it first” I say as I start to run to find the bedroom. He chases after me in pursuit of the bedroom. Me and Preston run around the house looking for the master bedroom. We look through room after room finding closets, the garage, a bathroom and a door leading to a balcony in the back of the house. I manage to run into the bedroom and yell out to Preston.``Found it!!”
He comes walking into the room breathing heavily from the running. We both check out the room. The walls are painted a cream yellow and the bed takes up most of the room's center. The bed has burgundy sheets poking out from its bottom and a quilt with multi-colored floral designs lay sprawled out on top of it. There's a wardrobe built into the wall and a black leather couch sits comfortably on the left wall.
“Dibs on the bed” I say as I jump on top of it. I stretch out on top of the quilt and search for a comfortable part to sleep in.
“Where am I supposed to sleep then?” Preston complains
“You can sleep on the couch it looks soft enough” I respond while pointing towards the couch “I saw some spare blankets in one of the closets”
“Alright i’ll be right back” he mumbles to himself “why do i always get the couch”
“ I'll be right here if you need me,” i call after him. I sit up on the bed and start to look around the room more. I notice the entrance to the wardrobe is cracked open slightly. I hop out of the bed and grab a flashlight from my bag as I walk into the wardrobe. I turn on my flashlight and stare in awe at how many clothes are in there. The room is only half as big as the bedroom but it's still bigger than any closet I've ever had. The wardrobe is full of shirts, dresses, pants, and shoes for men and women. I immediately start to look through the shoes to see if any fit my size. I throw a pair of black high heels behind me as Preston finds me in the wardrobe. He looks around before asking me.
“What are you doing?”
“Finding a new pair of clothes to wear cause I've been wearing the same pair of jeans for waaaaay too long”
“Fair enough. Is there any guy stuff in there?”
“Yeah right there” I hook my thumb behind me to point to the other end of the closet.
“I'm sure they won't mind if we take a couple of things…they're probably dead by now anyways,” Preston says with a slight grin on his face. The way he said made me spin my head to look at him but he was already on the opposite end of the wardrobe looking at suits.
I shake away the thought and continue looking for any pair of sneakers in my size. 40 minutes pass before I walk out of the wardrobe holding a new pair of jeans and a black guns-N-roses t-shirt. I toss the clothes on top of the bed and check to see if the shower in the bathroom still works. I turn the dial and wait for a moment. The shower head chokes a little before water comes pouring out. I reach my hand under the showerhead to feel the water. The water is cold, it causes my hand to shiver when I take it out. I shake the water off and say to myself.
“Good enough” as I start to take off my old clothes and get in the shower. The cold water bounces off my skin, it sends shivers down my spine but I still get the old dirt from the last few months off of me. I step out and see a couple of dry towels hanging off of the door. I grab one and dry my body off and grab another to wrap around my head and dry my hair. I step out of the bathroom and Preston is still inside the wardrobe. I put on my new clothes while his back is turned and walk over towards him when I'm finished.
“Still haven't found anything,” I ask him
He turns around “Nothing yet, the only thing interesting was this coat.” He holds a leather coat up to me. The coat is made of black leather and has a skull covered with blue flames on the back. There's a black shirt inside the coat with a skeleton hand making a thumbs-up embroidered on the front.
“ That's pretty cool, it's better than what you're wearing right now at least” he's outfitted in a blue hoodie with holes on the chest and tears at the sleeves. He also has a shirt with a faded picture of a blue flower printed on it.
“I guess you're right” he gets up from the floor and exits the wardrobe. He lays the clothes on the couch along next to the blanket and pillow he brought into the room.
“The shower works so you can get yourself clean In there,” I say to him
“You know, a shower sounds really good right now.” He gets up from the floor and grabs a pair of pajama pants that were laying next to him. He leaves the wardrobe and enters the bathroom, closing the door behind him. After a moment the water turns on and I hop on the bed to get ready to sleep. I squirm myself into the quilt and rest my head against one of the pillows. I shut my eyes and fall asleep listening to the passive sound of the shower like rain on a car.
I'm in a void. It feels like I'm standing in a puddle of water that reaches to my knees. I wade my way forward looking around for anything in the darkness. In the distance I can see 3 figures l. I moved closer to them and their silhouettes get clearer. I realize they are my dad and brothers. I start to run towards them kicking up water behind me until something grabs my leg. It pulls down violently forcing me under the water without a breath of air. I kick at the thing grabbing me until something grabs my other leg. I look down and see two glanter's each with a monstrous smile on their faces. They stare back at me and one of them tugs my leg harder than before and tears it off of my body. The water around me turns red as the glanter laugh's. The other smiles wider as it starts to fling me around the water forcing any air left in my lungs to be forced out as I scream in pain. The glanter throws me away and I can see my family slowly fade into the distance as I'm flown away.
I struggle to swim back to where I was, one of my legs is missing and the other is broken. The glanter's find me again and I try to get to the surface to escape them. I'm flapping my arms in any attempt to escape as one of the glanter's flies in front of me and grabs my arm. I look at the monster with tears in my eyes as it bites my arm and tears my body away from it. It flings my body away and with my remaining arm I clutch the wound as the water floods into my body leaving me in the void I started in. I look around and the glanter's seem to have left. I turn behind me and see my family again, this time I'm closer than before.
I grit my teeth and drag my body towards them slowly as I leave a trail of blood and tears behind me. I finally reach my family and grab one of my father's shoes. I stare up and he looks at me. His stare causes me to feel cold as a grotesque smile grows on his face. I stare in shock as my brothers each have the same look as my father.
I shoot up from my sleep panting heavily in a cold sweat.
“It was just a dream..just a dream…just a dream” I look at my hands as tears fall into them. I look around the room and see Preston sleeping peacefully on the couch. The room feels frozen in place as a chill runs down my spine. I get out of the bed and walk out of the bedroom. I make my way through the dark hallway and find the entrance to the balcony I saw earlier. I creak open the screen door and head outside. The Balcony is pretty large, about the size of the kitchen in the house. There are some chairs knocked over next to a table and I pick one up to sit on it. I look out into the expanse of the neighborhood, houses lined up next to each other, dozens broken apart by roads, and dead bodies scattered across the roads.
I look up in the sky and sit back in the chair. The sky looks empty except for the moon giving this world its only source of light. Without the moon, we’d be left in darkness. It hangs in the sky alone, no stars, no clouds, nothing but itself, and the void of the sky. I think back about the dream I had. My dad and my brother's all dead and possessed and then they kill me. I start to tear up thinking about it. I try to wipe away the tears but it’s no use. I'm too scared for my family. I don't know where they are if they're alive if they're worried about me I don't know anything! I start to quietly cry into my hands. I don't know how long I'm sitting there until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn my head to face it and I see Preston. He was smiling and looking at me. I turn away to wipe my tears and he walks next to me.
“I heard you sneaking out of the bedroom so I followed you to see where you were going.” he says “but that's not my question.” he pauses and looks at me “my question is what’s got you feeling so down?” he leans over the railing of the balcony
“It's nothing, I just came out here to clear my head.” I say as more tears escape from my eyes in big slow drops that ride down the sides of my face.
“if you don't feel like telling me you don't have to but i'll be here if you ever change your mind”. He looks up at the moon before turning to face me and his smile widens “I'll always be here with you…trust me I'm not going anywhere”
I stare up at him and wipe away my tears as a smile grows on my face to match his. I get up and stare over the balcony with him. “So where are we heading next?” I say to him, Preston pulls the map we got from the man cave downstairs out from his pocket.
“After I got out of the shower I decided to take a look at the map for anything interesting we could see.”
“Ok did you find anything?” i ask
“I did,” he points at a spot on the right of the map. “We should head to the museum”
“I didn't want to go to a museum before the apocalypse why would i want to go now?'' I ask him.
“Well the best part of museums is the cool stuff right”
“Yeah what about it”
“The only problem is that you could only look at the fossils and armor but you could never take them.”
“So you want to rob a museum?” Prestons eyes light up at the question
“Exactly they might have a really cool sword I could use, or I could sharpen a dinosaur tooth and use that as a weapon, there might be a cursed shield that can summon the dead to fight for you. This opportunity is too good to pass up. We need to go!”
“That does seem pretty cool but wouldn't carrying that stuff weigh us down. What if a glanter is chasing us and we can't run fast enough because of the stuff we took from the museum.”
“We’ll only take things that are light. Even then I could just block the glanter with my newly acquired 2000 year old shield.”
“Fair enough we can go in a couple hours” I yawn and stretch out my arms. “Cause I'm feeling way too tired to walk all the way over there right now.”
“Alright i'm heading back to my couch and THEN we’ll head out to the museum” he leaves the balcony and heads back to the master bedroom leaving me alone on the balcony.
“Thanks Preston I'm not leaving either” I say into the sky. I turn around and walk back inside the house, closing the balcony door behind me. I walk back into the bedroom and Preston is hunched over and holding a flashlight looking at the map. He’s drawing lines through roads and marking X’s in different areas.
“What are the X’s for?” i ask him
“They’re places that glanter’s usually stay around. I'm marking them off so we remember not to go through them, or at least be more cautious.”
“Cool. Did you find where we are right now?” He points to an area where the lines all converge out of.
“Right around here is where the neighborhood ends. So if we follow this path we can make it to the museum in one piece” I pat him on the back and take the map from his hands.
“Get some sleep Preston, we have a full day tomorrow” he grins to himself before laying down on the couch. I put the map back into my bag and hop on the bed to get to sleep. I cover my body in the quilt and roll over facing away from Preston as he falls asleep. I nestle myself into the bed and slowly fall asleep to get ready for the next day.
I'm awoken by Preston shaking the bed I'm sleeping on. My eyes open and the room is foggy, I wipe away the sleep from my eyes and focus my attention towards Preston. He's practically jumping out of his skin with excitement, he's already fully dressed for the trip and shaking the bed with a wide smile on his face.
“Ok ok i'm up the air feels heavy as a groggy feeling fills my body. I wipe my eyes and the room starts to clear up. I turn to face Preston. He's still shaking my bed to wake me up, he’s already fully dressed and nearly jumping out of his skin in excitement.
“Ok ok, i'm up you can stop shaking the bed” i say
“Then get up we’ve got a long walk ahead of us” he says as he stops shaking the mattress. He grabs the map from my bag and points to one of the red lines.
“We're gonna follow this way to the museum. We’ll move past the hotel around the ice skating rink and around the park. We’ll mainly stick to walking through the streets, we might have to go rooftop hopping to avoid any glanter’s if we see them but i'm sure we won’t reach that point.” he explains
“Wait, wait, wait, why are avoiding the skating rink and the park” i ask
“ everytime we go near the park there's weird noises and light coming out of it”
“And why can't we go to the ice skating rink?”
“I didn't think it would be important”
“It couldn't hurt to check it out at least”
“Fine we could make a detour”
“Ok and how do you plan on getting on top of roofs?”
“I'm sure we'll figure it out when we get to it”
“Ok man as long as you’re sure '' I yawn and step out of the bed. Preston starts to put the map in his bag. I walk into the bathroom with my clothes and change out of my pajamas. Minutes later I walk out and see Preston sitting on the couch twiddling his thumbs.
“Finally you're out” he smiles at me before handing me my bag and slinging it over his shoulder. We took a last look inside the kitchen to see if we missed anything. Afterwards we leave for the outside. The cold air bites at my face but Preston walks down the stairs, his face buried in the map. I jog to catch up to him as we both head into the street.
“Hey Preston, could I see the map?”
“Sure” he hands over the map and continues walking. I look at the map and the numerous lines drawn on roads. I look at the corner of the map and notice a small map key with numerous symbols for different areas like a library, school, hospital, and more. There's even a way to tell how far away each location is. The text reads “1 inch=5 miles” I quickly count how far we are from the museum.
“Dude this museum is like 100 miles away.”
“Yep it'll be a long walk, it'll take us a while to get there”
“Did you plan on us walking there the whole time?”
“We might find bikes or something.” he pauses “well i did think we would walk the whole way”
“This is gonna take us weeks to get there!”
“Did you have anything else planned?”
“Well…i guess not but we should still try to find some bikes or something”
“Ok if we see any way to travel faster we’ll take it”
“Alright cool” I hand him the map back and he folds it back up and puts it in his bag. We walk further until we leave the gated neighborhood we started in. Preston takes the map back out and looks at it before he turns right and continues walking. I follow him staring forward at the expanse of the road. The outside of the neighborhood is surrounded by roads all leading to different parts of Newkinawa. We walk past a sign that reads “Coretown 20 miles ahead” I nudge Preston towards the sign and he checks the map again.
“Yep, the museum’s in Coretown. Would you believe the residents were pretty proud of it. Should be a fun place to explore” he says
“Yeah but it’ll take us a million years to get there.” i complain
“Lighten up, I'm sure it will be worth it”. We continue walking down the road slowly making our way to Coretown.

I'm currently sleeping on pallet of yoga mat, folded duvet, and a nice quilt over hardwood floors. I'm experiencing a little soreness when I wake up, but it dissipates within an hour of getting up and moving around.
I'm interested in the tatami+shikibuton setup, but I'm nervous to drop the money on the tatami because of the scent. I know it's subjective—but I want to get a sense of the intensity of the scent. If I lived alone, I would just give it a shot, but I don't.
Personally, I don't think a grassy smell would bother me in the least, but I'm worried about it spreading to the rest of the house given some of the low star ratings on some of reviews available on Amazon describing it as smelling like a "hamster cage". But I can't imagine that's the norm...
I've found a supplier for synthetic tatami (not foam filled with a reed exterior, rather, made with migusa) which seems like a promising alternative, but it would be like a $500 investment to get four mats.
Any insight?

My best friend from high school and I have drifted apart over the years, mostly due to her dating and later marrying my abusive ex. But I still love her immensely, and made her a crocheted afghan for her daughter the last time we met in person. If she ever needs me, I'll be there in a heartbeat.
When I got married, I asked her to be a bridesmaid. She said my ex wouldn't allow it unless I apologized to him. I have done nothing to apologize for. The only hurt I ever caused him was breaking up with him, and I told her as much and asked why she would want me to apologize for that since, if I hadn't broken up with him, she wouldn't be dating him. She had no answer for that, and just said he wouldn't let her come. We've only spoken once in person since then, years later, which is when I gave her the blanket for her daughter. I do get occasional updates from mutual friends, but he won't allow her to contact me. Despite the fact that he still stalks me online (I live on the other side of the country, so the in-person stalking has stopped).
Fast forward a few years to my baby sister getting married. At her reception, she displayed a quilt along with a few other gifts of similar hand-made sentimental value. I asked who the quilt was from, as it was lovely and obviously took time and skill to make. She was cagey and tried changing the topic before suddenly having an "emergency" she needed to see to (no actual emergency, she almost immediately stopped to chat with someone else).
A while later, the truth came out. The quilt was made by my best friend's mom. I found it a bit strange she would give one to my baby sister, as they weren't close, especially since I hadn't even received one, and I practically lived at her house for 5 years. Come to find out she had entrusted it to my mom and sister to give me for my wedding.
Mom is now saying she tried to give me the quilt, but I had turned it down because I hated the color scheme.
First off, no. I had never seen the quilt before in my life, until it showed up on display at my baby sister's wedding.
Second, while the color scheme is not my favorite... it matches the wallpaper in the tiny bedroom I had my senior year of high school. A room my BF's mom knew well and had photos of. And it is a color scheme I like, even if not my absolute favorite, and a more gender-neutral one than my absolute favorite. So ideal for a married couple.
Third, it's the same color scheme as another quilt of mine which has also gone "missing" since my mom and sister helped me move college apartments many years ago. A small, not-quite-twin sized quilt made by my grandmother shortly before she died. Which now leaves me wondering if I'll find that one in her home as well, if I ever flew out to visit unexpectedly.
And fourth, even if I had disliked the color - which I don't! - I would never have been so rude as to turn down something so precious as a quilt! Those things are works of art! Even the most basic quilt is expensive and labor-intensive. One made by a quilter of her caliber is a treasure. Not to mention the sentimental nature of a gift from someone who got a first row seat to watch me grow from young teen to adulthood. I don't care if the quilt had been chartreuse and fuschia (it was cream, forest green, and maroon, btw), I would have loved it anyway, because it was a gift from someone I respect and admire.
I'm not sure which hurts more: the theft itself, the gaslighting, or them making my best friend's mom feel like I refused her generous, loving gift. And at this point, living so far away from everyone involved, I'm not sure I can straighten things out, even if everyone else wanted to.