How to make a flower out of phone cell

I am currently running on the last legs of my 8-yea- old 2nd Gen AirPods and am looking to buy new earbuds and would love some advice before I make a final decision, Some context that may help:

• I mainly use my headphones for working out (not too strenuously (weightlifting) but occasionally I will go running or do calisthenics) and talking on the phone while outside in a busy urban area
• I bought a pair of TOZO earbuds and HATED how they felt in my ear (and, yes, I tried all the different sized covers). They felt way too deep and I didn't love how much they sealed my ear (maybe because they were so deep?). I like noise-cancelling to an extent but I don't think the 2nd gen airpods had that and I liked them just fine. I also prefer how they feel in my ear.
• I have never had issues with the airpods until recently but I read that there are other brands that last longer (battery and the device itself) so I am interested in "investing" (which I would like to spend under $200).

I ultimately don't have very high standards for sound quality but want something I can use frequently to exercise, be aware of my surroundings, make phone calls, and not damage my hearing.
I have been looking at the Sennheiser SPORT True Wireless but have seen mixed reviews. I've also never had an issue with exercise and the airpods so I'm wondering if I even need something labelled "sport"? I don't know the first thing about tech so I would love any advice I can get for my specific circumstance! Thank you!

I filed for unemployment in June 2023 and just got a reply from the commissions department this month. This process took forever and at every step someone at TWC f’ed something up. I’ll try and make this as short as possible.
During the first stage of the unemployment process where someone calls both parties a few times to get info and then makes a decision, my ex-employers (EX for short) claimed I was fired for insubordination and said that I was fired after a heated argument in the office. Besides insubordination, this was not what I was told as the reason for being let go. EX won that portion. I appealed. For the Tribunal I had a witness that was present during said office spat and I sent in (way too much) evidence to back up my claim and any evidence for whatever else I thought they might lie about. I mailed this evidence to EX and the Tribunal via FedEx. I also made sure, several times by several different people in different departments that my evidence would get to the tribunal on time for the hearing. I did send it close to the date but everyone I spoke with said it wouldn’t be an issue. Come the date of the tribunal, I was told no one received my evidence. When I said I had a copy of the dates/times they arrived and who signed for it at both places, I got a reprimand from the hearing officer. My EX did not send in any evidence, had no witnesses, completely changed the reasons for my firing and didn’t even mention the office ordeal once during their turn (they were first), were VERY aggressive towards me calling me names and a lier, and lastly, kept referencing items that were not sent in, like emails, time cards, texts, ect. With no issue. Yet when I tried to do the same the hearing office would stop me and say I wasn’t allowed to reference items not sent in. Guess who won that appeal? I did order a copy of the hearing so I could listen back so I’m not recounting this by memory of the day. I appealed. Then it sat at the commission’s department doing nothing for 9 plus months. The commission’s decided that they agreed with the Tribunal ruling and it stands.
There is no possible way they reviewed anything. With my EX changing their reason for firing, never sending in any evidence at any point to prove what they were claiming, no witnesses, nothing. Yet I had a witness and sent in evidence multiple times (depending on whatever they were claiming at that time) that so clearly shows they are lying. How on earth do I keep being denied? And who do I reach out to for help and to get a proper review of my case. This should have been one of their easiest cases that year.
Side note: I also filed for unpaid wages and that took equally as long and the first girl did all sorts of stuff that didn’t make sense and made it take longer. But the woman who did the hearing after it was appealed… I couldn’t believe how different and how professional this hearing was compared to all my previous with unemployment. Plus she actually knew the case before the phone call started, she let the hearing run past the hour mark because it absolutely needed more time, she listened, asked good questions, and completely saw right through my EX bs and lies. (It’s really not hard to do since you have evidence sitting in front of you) After the hearing was done and we hung up, I cried. I bawled my eyes out from all the stress and because that woman came to work that day and did her job. She just did her job, like she was hired to do and is getting paid for. How f-ing sad is that??

Alright well folks keep asking an update and I have been meaning to, things went smoothish for a bit, but then got more fucked up again and then fine and then fucked again just this morning so here I am. Using you all to make sense of it.
Edit: here's the original post, sorry
https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/comments/1clivwd/i_36m_surprised_wife_32f_by_coming_home_early/
For the days after we talked a lot, she was adamant she wanted nothing to do with him, has no feelings other than friendship and now that she was aware both (a) the possibility of him trying (it is true I or she still don't *know* his intentions) and (b) my reaction to her behavior (leaving out his presence later with her in text messages to me after carpooling/putting our kid to bed, trickle-truthing me on her view of his possible intentions), she said she "doesn't want anything to do with him. no, just no."
She offered up her phone if I wanted to see their conversations, she did the location sharing thing on her iPhone. Was pretty clear that this was all some bullshit and she hates that this situation ever became a thing. She was losing a friend but was more than willing to.
We set some boundaries.

1. People over late at the house, just let the other person know. Obviously family doesn't count. Just to avoid any possibility of any inference, better to let each other know who is in our house that late, 1 on 1.
2. For people who may we feel even have hints of intentions beyond platonic, we should overshare with each other. (thanks helpful commenter) Not overanalyze every relationship but just things like "Doc X said this today, kinda weird" or "new guy at foraging seemed to like me a lot". Stuff like that.

I don't want to be a controlling person, I'm not that person but maybe because of my history I require more openness and communication about things like that in a relationship. She told me I was being too worried about her feelings/me being controlling and that was more than willing to do anything it took to rebuild any trust that was broken from the situation.
2nd session of marriage counseling and obviously topic came up first. I started to give a brief history but got interrupted by our child upstairs, I gave them some attention and came back down to continue. When I got to the part of coming home, taking a shower and confronting my wife, I can't remember who said what, but it was interrupted, talking happened and then the therapist said "and it sounds like (wife name) recognized what had happened and your past". Wife said she didn't know how close/similar some of the details were and the conversation moved on from there. The omission of his presence in text messages, trickletruthing, none of that was brought up.
But things were looking up, not sure I like the therapist but whatever. Things seem to be good. She seemed fairly contrite though I really was still bothered by the red and orange flags planted in my little mind garden.
Fast forward, a week? Something like that.
I fucked up. I guess I'm glad I did but I did fuck up. I don't sleep much, 5 hours max. Was up early, garden tending, made breakfast for little one and coffee for her, usual. I saw her work bag on the floor and I saw her journal in there. And I fucked up and I read it. I wanted to know if he (the 21M) was in her journal.
For some context, I read the journals of my late partner, who died over a decade ago, and it was a stupid horrible mistake. I read things that I shouldn't have, very raw thoughts and feelings, pros and cons list of me. Shit like that. Then, entries about the other man and her falling in love with him. And her thoughts about her conflicted thoughts about leaving me. Near the end, if I recall, she didn't know, she loved us both but we were so different. I kept the journals, still have them somewhere, but I did burn those last pages about him. I do recall telling myself that I was protecting future me. I'm glad I burned those pages and I'm glad I kept her journals but I don't venture to read them anymore. I will again when I'm older, to keep her alive in me somehow I guess.
Anyways, when I saw her journals in the bags I just grabbed them and I read the latest couple pages. Innocuous stuff until I got to about a month ago.
It said: "Texted all night and hike Monday"
Now that wasn't me she texted with or hiked with on that day, that was with him. When she forgot to get her prescription.
So that meant two things to me:

1. Who writes "texted all night" in their journal with someone they don't have feelings about? I'm not a journaler person, I don't like my thoughts enough to put them to paper, but that doesn't seem right to me. No name but def him, the dates match. I don't know, again, I don't journal so maybe anything can mean anything in there but what the fuck.
2. She had planned on hiking with him. She didn't tell me that. She told me of her plans going hiking after work to pass the time before the pharmacy opens, but never told me that he was going too.

In fairness, she told me after she sent pictures of the hike to me and his dog was in the photos. But she didn't mentioned they had planned it together, seemed spontaneous but I never asked I guess.
So yeah, I stopped reading. Kinda felt like I was shot with an arrow. Pretty horrible feeling because I thought things were going to be okay but I now I read this shit.
It was like 6am at this point, so I went on a run to clear my head and get the adrenaline out. Some tears too. Got home and they were still sleeping, when they woke up and we were alone I asked her again if she ever developed any feeling at all for him. She said no. I told her I read her journal. I apologized but I told her I read something and I needed an explanation.
She wasn't happy. She told me those are personal, her thoughts and not for other people. She was also confused as to what I could have possibly read about him/the situation that need explaining. She asked me to show her the entry, I did.
[context, they work overnights together]
Her response was: "Oh yeah, we texted a lot that night. He wasn't working but I was. You know I wasn't home right? I was working that night."
I asked why it was in her journal? And why were you were planning to hike with him but when you told me about your plans for that day, you never mentioned you were planning it with him?"
She said "Well I didn't know for sure he would come, we were talking bout it but I didn't know for sure" and the texted all night part "didn't mean anything", that journals are fragments, not full thoughts and she was just writing it
I didn't like that answers at all honestly. We had another long discussion where she reassured me it meant nothing, that it shouldn't be interpreted as anything about her having feelings for him. I believe her. I don't know how she journals so maybe this isn't far out of the norm, I don't know.
Have to be honest here, the trust I had in her, a lot of it left. Which is pretty much the basis of a relationship. A lot of people sent me messages after my post with spy cams and shit. If I had to resort to that, I'd just end the relationship I thought. Now here I am snooping on her journals.
Two days later, kid and I go out camping at a park for a couple nights (she's working). Have a blast. During that time away I decide it's important to me to know what conversations took place between them. Yes I snooped, but I think it's reasonable, at this point, to demand to know just what types of things are said between them. She offered earlier, I just never took her up on it because it was really obvious to me, she felt she had nothing to hide.
But after this journal entry thing, yeah I would like to know what 'texted all night' means. I thought if the conversation that night is just bullshit, sure whatever. If it's more, or that night is deleted or something, then I'll know. I honestly expected to read the messages, be reassured of her side of the story and move on.
So we got home yesterday from camping. This morning I asked her if I could read their conversations. Explained why and without hesitation she said yes and went to get her phone. Gave it to me and I sat to start reading.
They had been texting recently, mostly innocuous mushroom stuff, then a one/ a couple attempts by him to come ovego out foraging. I guess he was going to around our area (he lives an hour away) cruising on his motorcycle and her response to him was, as close as I can recall was:
"not today not allowed to have anyone at home. lol"
Alright what the fuck
She saw my face and asked what was wrong. I put the phone down and said I don't want to read anymore.
I asked if she had told him about my view on their relationship, or what happened or anything about him/heI. She said no. I asked again. She said no, he has no clue, she never mentioned anything.
I showed her the text and asked her why she would say that.
Why would she say "no one was allowed" at home? People are allowed in my home, that wasn't any of the boundaries we set together. He's been here, clearly. And why would she say that to him if she never mentioned anything like that to him?
Her response was that she meant she wasn't having people ovewas busy. She then told me "you were home that day...I don't get it". Yeah I didn't read the dates of the text but even so, why the fuck would you word it that way? That's not even close to "no, I'm busy today" or literally any other million ways to say I'm not available today. I'm not allowed to have people at home is entirely different. lol is entirely different.
I cannot see how on earth you get from those words to that meaning she says she was trying to convey. Maybe I'm wrong. She said she didn't mean it that way it's not her mother tongue. To be fair, English is not her first language. She's quite fluent and has learned it from childhood but it's not her primary language. We've spoken exclusively English together for the ~decade I've known her. You wouldn't know it wasn't her primary talking to her unless you had a good ear. But she's right, maybe it just is a mistranslation. She said it was "clumsy" and not meant in any way to convey anything more than "I'm not available today".
We talked all morning until she went to bed. She reassured me she loves me and only me. I walked through every red flag, every opportunity for her to be honest an open. I asked why she didn't tell me about his recent attempts to meet up again?
She said she didn't know she should have told me. She said she didn't know she had to replay every conversation with him to me. I said she didn't, that's not what I was asking. But I was asking for her to be extra open about her relationship with him to me and him asking to come over, twice, definitely would require her letting me know.
I told her she didn't respect me at all. I told her she didn't care enough to tell me. I told her she's not being open and honest with me. That it's not me and her against the world, that this relationship is something else.
She reassured me it meant nothing but now that she sees how that text could be read that way (as if they had discussed him not being allowed in our home, she still denies), that she understands why I would react that way. She was frustrated, she said "it feels like a little fly came into my life and shit all over everything", referring to him and his advances as the cause of what fucked this all up.
I reiterated to her, every step along the way, in which she could have been truthful to me and decide to omit information.
Texting all night and planning the hike.
Staying over late after carpooling together, after our kid went to sleep, texting me and not mentioning he was still over.
Trickle-truthing me on whether she thinks he's interested in her.
His two offers to meet via text/messenger or whatever (that I saw, didn't look more) that she didn't think to tell me about.
And her reply of "not today not allowed to have anyone at home. lol" whatever the fuck that means.
Her position is still the same, that this is all the bad coincidences and misunderstandings, misreading texts or journal entires, etc. But she says she loves me, has only eyes for me and better understands now where I'm coming from.
So.. there's my little hell I've got for myself.
Personal therapy starting soon but I guess reddit therapy will do for now. It's somehow therapeutic to remember this and type it all out. Sorry, looking back this is insanely long, it's too long to proofread if shits garbled. Took me all day to write I guess.
Last post I felt very overwhelmed by the response, sorry I didn't respond to a lot of comments or questions or clarifications. I'll try to do better here, since this is probably the final time I'll use reddit as therapy.
Thanks in advance. I guess I should ask in this field of flags is there some green grass? I trust my wife. I did. When she tells me she loves me and only me, I'm convinced. Or is this all as fucked as the plain reading makes it seem? Because it does seem quite fucked.

I’m gonna lay out the whole context here, and it’s 2 years long so bear with me. A TL;DR isn’t really possible as there’s so much important context to whether or not IATA.
We’ve been married almost 10 years and she’s from overseas. She came here through our marriage. We were happy and doing extremely well for ourselves.
The problem started to 2 years ago. My friends wedding. Afterward we went out and then went to another friends house to continue partying. At the party one of the wedding guests started having a pity party about how he’s depressed because all these happy couples are around and he’s single.
For context. This guy is weird. He’s disrespectful to women, capitalizes on captive audiences (waitresses most often), and is overall a loser. He’s got a good job but that’s about it.
My wife, listens to his sob story and says “I have a sister!” and immediately starts FaceTiming her sister. This is something I’ve said isn’t okay. We’re not tinder, and we’re not matchmakers.
Beyond that her sister has a history of treating her poorly. She constantly told my wife she’s stupid growing up, well into adulthood. She blocked my wife for a whole year because my wife called her and told her not to go on boats with men she doesn’t know. Told my wife to live like she doesn’t have a sister. For a whole year I consoled my wife a couple times a week.
Anyways we were both drunk and with people so I’m not gonna start a fight right there. I figure I’ll talk to her about it maturely later. So I do. In the meantime, I switch to speaking Arabic with her sister and tell her this isn’t okay and isn’t what she wants.
Her and my wife to this day claim I was happy and supportive. They claim I was too drunk to remember. But there’s a few things wrong with this. I drove home, I take drinking and driving VERY seriously and would never, ever do it. In fact, if I know I’ve drank too much, I’ll hand my keys to a friend before the liquor starts hitting, just to avoid any possibility of making that bad decision.
Secondly, I switched to Arabic. I’m white. Arabic is a language I learned. When I speak it, I speak it very, very deliberately and remember the conversations perfectly. I know exactly what I said.
Anyways, when I talk to my wife later, I’m told how it’s wrong to prevent her from helping her sister and how her sister really likes this guy. A guy she talked to for 5 minutes. I told her it’s wrong to think of it as “helping” her sister in the first place and that her sister is a grown woman who can find her own partner.
So my wife says “okay I’ll tell my sister to stop talking to him”. That was the end of it. Or so I thought.
A few weeks later I’m at a different event and this guy let it slip they’re still talking. Immediately I’m upset and text my wife about how she lied to me.
She said her sister was really falling in love with this guy and separating them would be wrong. She said she did tell her sis to block him but when her sis went into a depression she told her she can unblock him and talk to him, behind my back.
Upset I told her we need to talk about going behind my back and how disrespectful of my boundaries this whole ordeal was. She said “it’s okay I’ll tell her to block him again”.
Over. Or so I thought for the next few months. A few months later I again am at an event with this guy and this time he’s smart enough to lie about them talking. But I’m a salesman and a bullshitter. You can’t bullshit me unless I trust you. I knew immediately he was lying but I let it go. I did ask my wife and she said no they’re not talking. So I believed her.
Well, a year and a half goes by. In that time her sister and her fought about how her sister could come to the US. We said we’d help her but it’s a lengthy process. At the time I had little animosity toward her sister and would’ve loved to see her come here and be near my wife again. She wasn’t happy with that and said it takes too long. This is her sister’s mindset.
Anyway. Her sister gets a B1 visa in the meantime, temporary business visitor and wants to come visit my wife. Lies through her teeth about her intentions to the immigration officer, telling them she wants to stay 90 days. They approve her for 60.
So we file for an extension ASAP so she can visit for 3 months. Staying with us the whole time. I wanted her to have fun on her visit so I arrange for my friends and I to go out. This guy shows up. She talked to him and told him our plans.
Immediately they disappear into the casino and come back holding hands and all kinds of PDA. I’m fuming because I know she’s a conniving word I won’t say here. I don’t say anything though and we go through the night and I let it go so I can have fun.
The next day he’s picking her up from my house and they’re out for the whole day. The next time my wife is off work, same story. Well, I thought you were here to visit her? And that’s where I put my foot down.
I got told it was wrong to try and control her, wrong to try and separate them, etc. etc. etc. Finally she blocks his number and he calls from a separate number. I turn off her SIM card because I’m not gonna support her going behind my back in my own home. He calls me and tells me he really loves her and just wishes I’d accept it.
I tell him very plainly I will never, ever accept it because it all stemmed from him, her, and my wife going behind my back. Primarily my wife, as she’s the only one of the three I should be able to trust is telling me the truth.
At this point, I feel as if my wife had an emotional affair, although it’s with her own family. She repeatedly chose to go behind my back, against a boundary I had told her repeatedly before this situation at my friend’s wedding after party ever transpired. If that’s not an emotional affair, I don’t know what is.
So I tell him bluntly to not call me anymore and I’m not going to change my stance, and his feelings don’t mean shit to me. He started to give me a sob story about how we’re friends and he I should be happy for him and I cut him off and told him to save his breath.
My wife is upset at me for how I talked to him. Another emotional affair. Trying to protect the feelings of this dude.
The next day, while my wife is at work I’m eating lunch at our dinner table and studying schoolwork her sister comes to the table and starts talking to me about this guy asking if I talked to him and I tell her plainly I did and what I told him.
She goes into a story about how she really loves him, she’s an adult woman and I shouldn’t be intervening etc. I told her I agree I shouldn’t ever have been involved and neither should my wife. I told her to save her breath with any talk of her feelings because I don’t care. She started crying telling me I’m cruel etc.
I told her at this point I’m done being nice. I’ve been lied to for 2 years and it’s over. I’m done being my laid back self and I’ve been pushed repeatedly and I’m standing up for my marriage and my boundaries.
I did turn her SIM card back on so she could call my wife and I, her hosts.
The next morning I wake up to my wife in tears calling me to her sisters room. Her sister is bawling her eyes out and packing her bags to go home. I talk her sister into coming for a car ride with my wife and I to talk things out.
Immediately in the car my wife starts berating her sister about how she’s selling her for a man and a whole host of other things. I calm my wife down and tell her that’s not okay to say to her sister. Because against what they thought I don’t want and would’ve never wanted this to cause a separation between them. I know how much my wife values family.
In the car her sister tells me she really loves this guy and that she can see them being a family one day etc. etc. etc. I tell her plainly don’t ever bring him around my house, if they do marry and have kids, don’t ever bring them around my house, and don’t consider me her brother in law because I will never do anything for her again after she goes home.
My wife is shocked, she’s shocked and they both wonder how I could be so cruel. I said I’m over it. I’m over hearing about this guy, I’m over being used, and I will never again trust her. She said she understands and resumes talking to this guy.
A few days later we’re in the car going to a family event with my family and I get asked if he can come. I said no, very politely. I said no, he’s not part of my family. I was told how terrible I am, and my wife and her sister both jump out of my car in a bad part of Chicago, an area neither of them know.
My wife calls my family and tells them I kicked them out of the car. So my family starts blowing up my phone screaming at me. Once I explained the situation my family said they’ll come pick them up but I hung around and kept driving by to make sure they were okay. Eventually my wife calls me and says they’ll get in.
So I pull over and they open the doors and my wife goes “I’m scared I don’t feel comfortable getting in the car with you”. So I drive away pissed off. This is a 85,000 car in a bad part of the city where carjackings happen every other day.
I go park somewhere but keep an eye on them to make sure they stay safe. A homeless guy passed them and my wife calls me to come get her. So I do and we go home.
Again her sister packs her shit and cries that she’s going home. I tell her to relax, sleep on it and we’ll talk in the morning. She does eventually and in the morning she decides she’ll stay.
A week goes by and I hear nothing about this guy from her. My friends and I all joked about him and made light fun of him. He caught wind of it and cried to my wife’s sister who told my wife, who came to me and aggressively told me to stop and leave them both alone. I got pissed off because this was a private convo between me and my friends and if he heard it and got his feelings hurt it’s on him.
This spiraled into a huge argument with me, my wife, and her sister. In the argument I asked her sister plainly if she planned to leave at the 90 day mark. She said no.
So I kicked her out of our house. Her and my wife went for a walk and I yelled out the front door to get her shit to the curb before the walk before I do, because if she doesn’t do it herself it’ll be thrown on the wet ground. They both thought I was joking before then I assume. Her sister comes in and packs her stuff and gets out. I said if you plan on staying here illegally it won’t be in my house. If the choose is between here or the streets, it’ll be the streets.
She went to stay with the boyfriend and his parents. His parents must not have liked her too much because within a couple weeks they made them both move out.
This was in January of this year.
Since then, I’ve been repeatedly goaded into accepting this. My wife has tried to get me to visit her sister, etc.
It came to a head recently at a wedding we went to for another friend. Her sister and this guy were there. I didn’t say a word to either one the entire night and all was fine.
Except my wife spent the whole night at their table because he wouldn’t dance or do anything to have fun. She can’t handle the idea that her sister might find something she doesn’t like about this guy. She has to be there just in case the relationship goes on life support.
This pisses me off, obviously. She’s more invested in their relationship than she’s been in ours for the past 2 years. Grown adults.
Well, today she was going to her sisters house. She had 2 bags. An ulta bag and a discovery bag. I asked what that is, and she said it’s for her sister. She pulled out taco shells and said it’s just small stuff she wants her to try. But I could see through the bag and saw beauty products. I’m not an idiot.
I looked in when she went to the bathroom and saw a fucking armoire full of shit. I looked at the receipt. $300. I was fucking livid.
I continued getting ready for work and said “her husband can’t buy her that?”. It’s confrontational, yes. But I said it politely, and was open to talking about it.
I get met with immediately hostility. I never raised my voice but I made it very clear I wasn’t being nice about this or anything anymore.
I told her “maybe she could pay you back and find you a new husband”. I’m going to give her a choice. Me or her sister now. Because this has gotten fucking ridiculous.
We pay for her to come here. She hired an immigration lawyer apparently, but doesn’t have money to pay me back for the flight or even pay for the Ubers they take or anything. My wife is trying to make up for this losers shortcomings. He’s too much of an idiot to see that her sister is using him.
By the way, this isn’t her first fiance. It’s not even her first western fiance. She’s been engaged to at least 3 different guys. One from France, another from Belgium, and a third from Canada before this guy. She was looking to immigrate. He’s a fucking idiot though so, oh well.
My wife’s sister is very materialistic. My wife is fortunately down to earth but is so far up her sisters ass because she thinks if she doesn’t do everything her sister wants that her sister will cut her from her life again. Which is exactly what would happen.
I told her that’s on her sister. I’m not asking her to never talk to her sister. I’m asking her to stop treating her sister like she’s a child and putting their relationship before ours. Stop bending over backwards for a grown woman who will throw you away the moment you’re inconvenient.
But it’ll never happen it seems and it’s the reason I’m strongly considering divorcing her. I’m over this fucking shit. Oh, and by the way, my wife claims that she’s scared of me etc. now when she tells the story to other people.
I have never and would never hit my wife. I’ve never given her any reason to be afraid of me. So to put that out there on me is absolutely fucking bullshit and I’ve lost all trust in her.
AITAH?

~First~
Cats, Cops and C4
The Erumenta woman tries to fight even as he forces her into the cell, her natural fire flaring hot enough for his clothing to smoulder and him to mentally congratulate himself for his Undaunted Brand. It’s literally saved his fingers multiple times today.
Marlintine Spire is like many of the spires of Centris still reeling from the massive scan. Sure it had been legal, and both Living Goddesses upon the world had told everyone to calm down in their own way. But just because something is legal and endorsed by powerful figures does not make it a popular move.
“You burn any of your fellow prisoners while you’re in there and you’re getting a suppression collar.” He tells the obstinate criminal as he shoves her into the holding cell and slams the bars shut. The forcefields supplementing the metal bars flickers into place and the blast of flame she aimed at his face splashes against it without further effect. “Cute, keep it up and we won’t need a court hearing to upgrade you to a real prison.”
“He’s being serious. Stripper boy is playing at being a serious police officer.” Another criminal mocks and is subsequently ignored as Chenk leaves the area. He has other things to do.
“Ma’am.” He greets Chief Bowman as he slips by to head back out.
“Hold it human. I know your kind are endurance monsters, but you need to sit the hell down. You’ve been dragging in cult soldiers for six and a half hours straight. Your legal overtime ended a half hour ago.”
“Then keep a cell open for me as I keep bringing in more people. This needs to be quelled.” Chenk says and as he turns to keep going she grabs his belt and pulls him back.
“You need to rest.”
“The Spire is in the middle of a borderline insurrection. I can rest when it’s...” He begins to say before a sudden movement to his right makes his head snap around. Just before Vera the Takra-Takra crashes into him.
“Thanks for stalling him out Chief! Come on you goofy human!” Vera announces as she drags him down the hallway and into Linda’s Office. She tosses him onto the couch and then pounces onto him and pins him.
“Really?” Chenk asks.
“Yes really. You need to calm down. And I found a way to force it.” Linda states.
“But the Spire is...”
“You are one officer. Supersoldier on loan to the station or not, you’re still only one officer. The structural integrity of this spire only depends upon you when there’s a bomb threat and even then, only when it’s a chemical bomb.” Linda tells him. “Or do we have to restrict you to only being called out during a bomb threat?”
“No.” He says. “But people are still getting hurt and...”
“And they're the ones hurting themselves. Just please calm down. I know you’re skilled, but your sense of justice is just going to hurt you at this rate. Don’t want to leave a bad example for Amy now do you?” Linda teases him and Chenk groans in frustration.
“... I really should have thought things through before growing attached to that girl.”
“Oh probably, but it was adorable to see. The world crashing down on a poor little girl in over her head and then Officer Hero, Supersoldier from the blackest void of the galaxy flies in to save her.” Vera teases.
“Still, him being a supersoildier is a bit of a problem right now. Big man needs a mission, or he’s going to go nuts!” Linda notes. “Luckily! I called one of your friends on the ship. Soldier, you’re in position to requre a talking to from The Observer. However, the call is on hold, but you need to be here when it goes off.”
“That’s a dirty trick.” Chenk notes even as an Undaunted communicator is tossed at him and he catches it. It’s activated, it’s in a waiting queue and there’s no way he can go into the field now if he’s waiting for an official answer. “Very dirty.”
“Good thinking!” Vera compliments as she cuddles closer to her pinned target. Her hair spikes out in sudden shock as The Communicator then goes off to signify the call has gone through. “I jinxed it!”
“Specialist Chenk Barnabas sir!” Chenk answers the call instantly as he sits up and Vera scurries off him.
“Really? I put him on that waiting list to get him to calm down and stop working.”
“Specialist Barnabas, I’m one of numerous individuals filtering the sheer number of incoming calls to The Inevitable. You’re in the proper queue now, please state what you have been doing as a member of The Undaunted so that Observer Wu can better decide who to speak with.”
“I’m on loan to one of Marlintine Spire’s major police stations. Due to the overpopulation of Centris this means I have been acting as elite law enforcement over a population that exceeds that of many of earth’s countries.”
“I see, anything in particular that you’re doing?”
“I’m a chemical expert and accredited detective at this rate. I am the go to specialist for law enforcement when it comes to chemical explosives for a full ten percent of Centris Police Departments.”
“Any particularly interesting cases you’ve been assigned to?”
“Yes, one that is still being debated in court by none other than The Trytite Lady. It involves cloning, murder, mercenaries, numerous criminal gangs and a great deal of more nonsense such as massive prison breaks, fighting robots and Axiom effects so dangerous that even speaking about them in anything more than the most broad and general of terms on an open frequency is a punishable offence.”
“So you have seen a fair amount of what has occurred in the galaxy.”
“I’ve seen enough that I’m going to be very hard to surprise or overwhelm any longer.” Chenk says.
“Very good. I’ll just note this down. The Galaxy is absolutely insane, I’ve been fielding calls from people with like nine heads all speaking in concert and god damn lobster people and more...”
“That’s reality for you.” Chenk replies. “Always more absurd than it should be.”
“Indeed, stand by. I’m putting you into the next proper queue. It shouldn’t be more than a minute or two long.” The Assistant states and then the call shifts to simply display that he’s fourth in the queue now.
“Hunh. Faster and somehow slower than expected at the same time.” Chenk says even as Vera leans against him.
“Even when you take a break you’re still working.”
“You didn’t complain about me being an endurance monster when I planted this in you.” He says gently patting her growing stomach and she pushes him a bit in protest.
“Problem with getting the super-babies of doom is the wait for the baby.” Vera complains and he chuckles before the communicator activates again. He puts it in broadcast mode as Linda leaves her desk to sit next to him for support.
“Observer Wu I take it?” Chenk asks the Asian man who nods.
“And you are Officer and Operative Barnabas. The little summary in front of your call has my attention. Tell me, how are laws generally handled in the Centris space.”
“Centris is a massively overpopulated planet consisting of Spires and Plates. The Spires are the massive multi tiered towers that have two hundred levels each and each level holds enough people to populate any major city on Earth with ease. The lower the level on the spire the less funding, infrastructure and support it has with the bottom ten generally considered a universal slum or no man’s land. Law enforcement in those areas is nigh on impossible and the air itself has been described as thick and fetid. No natural light reaches those areas either.”
“And higher up?”
“Increasing amounts of wealth and support. To such a degree that the plates, which form an artificial ring around Centris are of such high quality that their most squalid and desperate places are at roughly the same standard of living as the middle fifty floors of a well off Spire. As you can imagine, policing all this is an outright herculean effort and every station, no matter how well funded, armed or endorsed is simply inadequate for the task.”
“What sort of crimes have you witnessed?”
“I’ve stopped terrorist conspiracies, torn down drug labs, found myself between assassins and their targets, I’ve stood in the middle of gang wars commanding people to stand down, I have tackled muggers, murderers and maniacs alike into walls and cuffed them. Not even twenty minutes ago I dragged a criminal who could light fires with her will alone into a cell, my jacket is still singed from it.”
“So the world is rife with criminality.”
“No more than any other place, there’s just so many people crammed in here that it’s constant, and that’s without the recent provocation that every single criminal organization received more or less simultaneously. Generally for every single idiot that needs a police officer to remind them why good behaviour is a good idea, there’s an entire bus full of people that didn’t even consider breaking the law.” Chenk explains.
“But when they truly commit crimes they don’t stop do they?”
“No, more resources, technology and Axiom means that if someone wants to break the rules they can break the very concept of rules. The last major case I was in before this flashfire of criminality was kicked off involved the sanctity of body and mind being shattered for the sake of mere greed by a figure so underworld infamous that for a chance to get either evidence on the person in question or ingratiate themselves to them we had an all out war break out in the station. One that if not for a quick trick, we would have lost.”
“And the trick was?”
“Switching out the prize for a disguised tracking beacon.” Chenk says and Observer Wu nods appreciatively. “I can’t credit on that though, it was The Private Stream that did that.”
“I haven’t had that fully explained to me. What is THE Private Stream?”
“I’m not the best person to explain it, but a quick summary is that it’s a shared persona for low profile work. Operative Jameson is the founder and original Private Stream, a persona that lets him go around while heavily armed and armoured while arousing no suspicion.”
Vera snorts in amusement. “Arousing... lot of girls find the aw shucks innocent routine to be arousing.”
Chenk slowly urns to her. “What?”
“You know what.”
“Maybe I don’t!”
“Maybe you do.”
“Could we focus please?” Observer Wu asks. “Now, as an Officer, are there any laws that you would find concerning about humans?”
“Yes, they’re usually location dependant thankfully. So the issue can be avoided. Furthermore there’s a lot of leeway given in laws where the traits of a species would make following the law difficult if not impossible. For example a human can generally get away carrying substances that are considered highly toxic or dangerous due to the fact that our diets contain what many people in the galaxy are nothing more than hard core poisons.”
“Hmm... Could you be more specific?”
“Well, this one won’t apply to you due to an amendment that Admiral Cistern was able to get allies to help him push through, but one of the most popular religions the galaxy over is the Gravid Faith, it has numerous denominations and variants and several of them create what’s called Arrangement Systems where men are required by law to have a hundred wives.”
“And the amendment is?”
“That if you are gainfully employed by governmental or military forces that you are exempt from the law so long as you remained employed in such a manner. You Observer Wu are the eyes of hundreds of Earth Nations meaning a government employee.” Chenk explains and he nods.
“I see. Any other exemptions?”
“Generally the Galaxy looks down on kinetic weaponry, so when it was pushed that humans wear weapons and cultural garb it was allowed through without issue. So humans are legally allowed to carry weapons like knives and pistols at almost all time without question. It’s... rather stupid in my opinion, but well it would be even more foolish for me to complain about something I’m outright benefiting from.”
“Hmm... any other laws?”
“They very much vary by location. Which are further influenced by the species of the residents, local culture, religion, political association, economic status. The name of the game is jurisdiction issues here on Centris. The local police departments all help one another, but always at the invite of the local officers who can actually confirm if what’s taking place is a crime or not in the local area.”
“Can you give an example of this working against things?”
“Alright, the easiest example is with drugs. There is no agreed on way to combat the spread of illegal narcotics. Some make the growing of the plants that produce what you want illegal. Others make the refinement of it’s fruit illegal and some make the selling of the drug illegal. So you can produce it all on the third Spire and sell it on the first two legally. You can grow the plant on the second and third spire legally, refine it on the first and third legally and that way you have a massive multi-jurisdiction drug running operation without technically breaking any law.”
“Hmm... that is a great deal to consider. I presume other such crimes can operate the same way?”
“Unfortunately yes. But that’s the problem with laws, you need to set where the boundaries are, but not make people prisoners in their own homes. There’s always a loophole.”
“Tragically yes.” Observer Wu remarks. “Now, I do need to speak to the others, but I have a few moments more. Who and what are you sitting near. The vaguely catlike woman on your right and the... generally human looking woman on your left are?”
“Linda is to my left. Partner and wife, the first actual police officer of us three. Vera is to my right. Wandering Warrior and wife. Linda is a Tret woman, they’re best considered to be humans if we evolved with Axiom helping us, a sister species to our own people. Vera is a Takra-Takra, she and her kind can shapeshift into the ferocious Warform and use it in battle. They pride their skill as Warriors and seek out stronger mates to empower the next generation.” Chenk explains before tiltiing the view down a little to show the pregnant stomach on Vera. “A work in progress.”
“I see. Congratulations. Although compared to many other Undaunted you seem a little behind.”
“I wasn’t aware it was a race.”
“Which is exactly how you lose the race!” Vera says in an amused tone.
“Indeed. Every conversation leads me to believe that I need to take an entire university degree in order to understand things. Thankfully your own is rather straight forward.”
“Really? Who are you speaking with next?”
“I haven't decided yet, but I need to speak with everyone in some way.” Observer Wu states.
“Good luck sir, I think you’ll need it.” Chenk says.
“Excuse me, is there a way to get a human to calm down and take a break? Ever since Centris was Scanned and hidden societies were exposed all over Chenk has refused to stop working. Is there any way to just get him to take a break?” Linda asks.
“It generally varies from person to person. But I would suggest guilting him. Emotional blackmail is a powerful tool.” Observer Wu says with a slight smirk.
“Traitor!” Chenk declares and there’s a chuckle from The Observer.
“Indeed. I’m afraid this call needs to finish now. Best of luck.” Observer Wu says before the call ends.
“So... we need to guilt you then? Okay!” Vera exclaims before her eyes start to water. “Don’t you wanna be there for the baby? Doesn’t she deserve a daddy?”
“Oh my god woman!”
~First~ Last

My boss "jim" and I don't have a natural chemistry. We constantly miscommunication. Like we both speak two different languages.
If we met one another outside of work. We would never be friends just bc our personalities are so different. My personality is too "big". I'm professional but I get very excited about new ideas and projects and I love working hard and what's worse - I'm enthusiastic about working hard.
He is very introverted. And just has the opposite demeanor.
I recognized early enough on that I should scale myself back with him and that less was more.
But no matter what I do - I'm always doing it wrong or I'm doing the wrong thing according to him. I have a lot of experience and I'm smart. And I always thought that my personality may not be for him but we worked well together bc we respected the others one intelligence and experience very.
But it finally landed with me - - I realized that he not only doesn't like me, he thinks I'm stupid.
For months, he already vehemently disagrees with anything I say. No matter what I say or how I say it. He never supports anything I saY or tell staff. And contradicts me with staff and has been wrong for it. He seems to be happiest when he knows I am doing menial work. I have to keep and projects I have secret. If he finds out that I am doing anything that involves using brain cells, he will assign it our from me to someone else.
And it's so hurtful but today was a real bad day as far as his open display of his contempt for me goes. All the following happened today:

1. This morning, he sent an updated staff assignment sheet showing who should contact staff for what area of.concern. he asked us all to review it b4 he published it on the intranet. He had at least 15'-20 items listed for each team member. My name was at the very bottom. Be had two items listed. He sent me a note and told me I should add more responsibilities of mine if I could think of any.
   
2. I received a salesforce question from staff. Salesforce isn't my area, so I pinged both him and my colleague who manages it to communicate it. Denise responds with an answer to the inquiry. And I thanked her. Then my boss wrote "that's an excellent approach, denise!" And it's not that he complimented her. It's that it took him complimenting her to make me realize in that moment that he has never said one nice thing to me about anything I do in the workplace.
   
3. Yesterday, Our sales team sent he and I a fairly standard support request with a non standard caveat. I responded and indicated that I could not immediately comply with the request without confirming that what they wanted wasn't a compliance violation. He replied all and said it was fine and to do it. I really struggled and ultimately decided - without consulting him - to email our CIO and legal and I CCed him and I relayed the request and relayed the concern I had. And without naming names I said I was being pushed to perform an action that I was not comfortable performing until I knew that action was compliant. Today, The 4 of us had to get on a call. I was told I was really smart for contacting them and that it wasn't compliant and good catch on my end. Jim didn't acknowledge any part of the conversation one way or another. He just said he would talk to sales.
   
4. Our team has our first stand up call as part of a new meeting series. It's a 3 min round Robin where we all go thru and quickly update the team on what we are doing. Ive been coaching denise on product implementation (unbeknownst to jim). I recently led a project of hers (in secret) while educating her on the why behind the scenes so she wouldnt need me for her next project. I directed her every action item. I provided guidance, support, timlines. Today she announced the close of the project. Jim was ecstatic and singing her praises. She looked so uncomfortavle. She repeatedly credited me with mentoring her. He would not acknowledge any claim of hers to give me credit. there was 6 minutes left on the call by the time it got to me (I was last). I ran thru my current tasks super quick.
   
5. Our weekly 1:1 meeting was next. He was20 minutes late. I was very eager to show him something I had spent weeks working on (bc I do care about the work. And I love working. I can hide my enthusiasm but it shows in my work. Multiple industry pros who I have worked with in the past have praised my project plans and audits and other efforts as "the gold standard." Our company was late to adopting agile methodology. I am an agile pro. He's been dragging his feet on committing to it but it's a directive from higher up. Today, I presented him with the "skeleton'" if you will of our teams roadmap. I built everything for him - just the bones, the automation. I added my own work to it aa a demo. The outline that all he would have to do is fill in. This was something that would have taken him hours of time to do if he had attempted building it himself. Which is why he kept putting it off.
   Before presenting these boards to him, colleagues from different departments had stumbled upon them and asked me if they could clone my work over to their own workspace and did I have any mgmt tips for them. I did not share this with him. I'm not a bragger but I do take great pride in my work. I low key worked on our boards outside of office hours. I was determined that this would finally win him over. Bc I've never quite understood how he treats me. My personality isn't for everyone, I know that. And I'm not perfect. I've contributed to miscommunications between us before. But I've tried really hard to be what he needs me to be in this organization in my role. And today I was going to do it. I was determined it was going to be our watershed moment. I proudly unveiled my boards. He waved them off. Made a remark that he thought it was so interesting to see what people got passionate about in the workplace. That he thinks it's funny that they usually think they're helping the organization when they are really making it all about themselves. He then throws in "and I say that in the nicest way possible." He then told me I had talked for way too long on our stand up call. He said I had to dial it way back next week. That the entire team did not have time to sit there and listen me ramble.
   

And I've been sitting here sobbing ever since. That pushed me over the age. Normally I can shake it off, I can separate, I like myself, I know I work hard, I know that I am smart. So I am pretty quick to let go of all the ways he chooses to diminish me on a fairly regular basis. But this was alot of hits to take in one day. I'm embarrassed to admit that he really took the wind out of my sails today. And I feel so stupid. I feel so fucking stupid. And I just want to quit. I don't want to work here anymore. This feels awful. And everyone loves him. He's every employees favorite guy. He is universally beloved at my company. So surely I must be the problem, right? And we ve talked about our miscommunication and I've done everything I can but I guess I just rub him the wrong way. I am always either not doing enough, doing roo much, or I'm doing the wrong thing. And I just needed someplace to vent while I cried my eyes out.
Tl; DR: boss is really mean to me, today he made me cry, I need to make a plan to quit

Hi all,
I've been having an issue with Toyota Financial Services since January of this year.
From January through March, I would make my payments per usual and I noticed the money was not being taken from my bank account and the payments would fail a few days later. I was able to get them paid successfully and then April rolls around. Same issue happens again.
I then call them and the representative on the phone tells me on their end they have the money for April and there is no issue. I go about my days as I am under the assumption it is paid.
Fast forward to April and I get an email from Experian saying there has been a change to my credit file. I see Toyota Motor Credit flagged me for being 30 days past due. I call Toyota the next day and explain the situation (again) and the woman on the phone tells me it was a mistake in their system and it will be removed within 30 days, along with them mailing me a letter reflecting what she had just told me. At this time I then created a dispute with Experian.
Yesterday I get a letter in the mail from them saying what I believed was incorrect is correct in their system and they are reporting to agencies correctly.
The entire ordeal dropped my credit down ~40 points and it seems I have little to no recourse with Toyota in fixing this. I have documentation backing up that during this time payments were attempted to be made (and were successful before their due dates) and that April's payment was not only paid, but posted before its due date.
After calling today, the woman on the phone essentially told me I am SOL and all I can do is just dispute it with credit bureaus and Toyota (again). I was lied to by them twice and it really seems like I am out of luck here.
Any ideas on how to move forward? I called a little later today and was told I can send a letter to their dispute department outlining the issue and they will proceed with it if they believe I am correct. Has anyone had a similar situation and had any luck getting this removed?

Olá! It's me! I'm Rickle Pick! Hello everyone!
So, I’ve been listening to some stories about Neckbeards and Kevins, as well as some Legbeards and Kevinas (Is that the correct term??). Well, most of the times I listen to those stories, I am reminded of some people I used to deal with in school. Specifically, this time, the tale of a guy, who I’ll name Roger Bacon for reasons soon to be explained. Sorry for any grammar errors, eu falo português! I also don't really know the posting rules here, so I'll just post it and see how it goes lol
This prologue is more of a compilation of stories that I think is needed before we get to the main shenanigans and awkward situations this guy put himself AND me into. If this generates any interest, I will post more specific tales of this weirdo! Long time lurker, first time poster, english is definitely not my first language and the whole shebang. I also never wrote a text this large, so go easy on me!
THE LIST:
Well, I guess it’s usual to make a list of people that appear in those stories, so I’ll make one just for you!
Me: Your basic musician-type nerdy theater kid white guy! Tall, thin with medium-light brown hair. At the time, I usually wore a leather jacket and sometimes a hat (not a fedora, a Chaplin hat. Also, where I live, hats are an acceptable attire choice lol). I kinda looked like the Once-ler from Lorax. At this time, I had just failed my second year of high school because of… honestly just lack of effort, mixed with undiagnosed ADHD and a bit of lacking in the ol’ confidence and self-respect department. At the time, I also was physically incapable of saying no and had a crippling fear of disappointing people.
Roger Bacon: 168 centimeters (or 5,5ft for the uncivilized) of pure muscle! Or at least he thought it was that way. In reality, he did have some muscles but was kinda chubby and flaccid. Not FAT fat, but athletic fat (???). He was mixed, light skinned, had shaved short curly hair, no beard (except for the inside beard) and his face was a special kind of oval, besides having a, "chiseled jaw". He always smelled like he had just gotten out of a day-long brawl with a french cologne wearing burrito. He wasn't an usual neckbeard, but he was a huge attention whore. Thought too much of himself, as we say here in Brazil: “Promised too much, delivered nothing at all.” His moto was: “Dude, I think she’s into me!”
For now, these are the characters, as the focus is to introduce you all to Roger Bacon as a person.
With the list over, let us get to the story.
FEBUARY 2018:
The year of 2018 started pretty badly for me. I had just been held back from 10th grade, had no friends and didn’t really know anyone. As most people know, high school in Brazil is quite different from America, as we start school in febuary and we share the same class with the same people all day, excluding language classes and extra-curriculum activities. This meant that, for the foreseeable future, I was alone. On the first day of school, I shyly sat on the last desk on the far right corner of the room, as I scanned my classroom to see what I was dealing with. A few groups of people sitting together, talking and greeting their friends, some loners reading or playing on their phones. The artsy girl drawing a beauriful woman on the white board. Some guy drawing a penis right beside her. Perfect balance. A normal classroom.
Another difference between our school systems is that we don’t really have clicks based on like Jocks or Nerds or Pretty Girls, it’s mostly people who connected in childhood or matched personalities, instead of connecting through roles and interests within the school. Not saying either one is better, just different. And yeah, the bullying situation is just as bad. I was bullied for my whole middle school and through first year of high school, and made a very specific group of low profile friends. So when I failed sophomore year I thought to myself “Screw it, if I’m going to be held back, that’s at least a second chance for me to grow an acceptable social life.”
All this elucidates how intimidating it could be for someone to join a new classroom full of mostly new faces. If you were unable to make a friend, you’d pretty much be on your own for the whole year unless an already formed group “adopted” you. So my mindset was to at least try and meet new people.
Well, have you ever said “I’m gonna do this thing I’ve never done before!” And got the worst possible circunstance you could get at the very first attempt? Welp, that’s just what happened. My strategy was to start small, and go talk to only one person at first, and then try to interact with a few of the groups as that was a bit intimidating (fun fact: we call “clicks “panelinhas”, spelled “pah-neh-lin-ias”, wich means “little pans”, because, you know, they’re closed groups, like a closed… pan. Idk, anyway), so I went up to this guy in front of me, and that guy was Roger Bacon.
He was almost lying on his chair, on a cool guy pose while messing around on his phone. He was also wearing a black sports tank top with a grey opened sweatshirt and the standard uniform wine-red shorts that were mandatory in our school, which made him look like a short and jelly version of Rocky balboa mixed with Kick Buttowski.
In real life, my name and his started with sequential letters, and because of this, we would sit near each other for the whole year, so I guessed he’d be the best person to interact with. I also KINDA knew him because we had basketball training after class in like 2015 and I went to the same church as him, in which I befriended his brother, Kevin, slightly, but didn’t have much contact with him because he had already graduated (I have some stories about basketball and church so tell me if yall wanna read them lol). I approached and gestured for him to take of his headphones (They were extremely loud, so I could recognize he was listening to the song In The End by Linkin Park).
Me: Hey! Aren’t you Roger? You’re Kevin’s brother, right?
RB, trying to sound stoic: “Oh, hey Rick. Yeah, it’s me… fortunately for you.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
RB explained: “Well, I’m the cool brother! Kevin was lame, and also had no friends.”
Me: “Isn’t he in a band with [insert band members]? They seem to be his friends…
RB: “They might look nice, but they’re all assholes. Don’t let them fool you! I’m the nice brother, Kevin is a dipshit.
To elucidate you: that band he said was made of assholes was the Worship band of the church we went to. It was also the worship band that I occasionally played the piano with.
I said, jokingly: “Guess I’m an asshole then! Because, ya know, I play with them more often than not”
RB: “No man, it’s just them. They’re just so infuriating! They never let me participate!”
Me: “Wow, that’s weird… I mean, I didn’t know you were a musician too! What instrument do you play?”
RB: “I play the drums, piano, guitar, bass and I also sing. But Kevin keeps me out because he wants to be the 'star brother'!”
I could tell he got a little heated, and went silent for a little while. I decided not to mention the band or his brother in his presence, 'cause ya know, that was pretty awkward lol.
I remember thinking to myself “This guy’s kinda weird”, because his brother was one of the nicest people I had ever known, and he also didn’t have the say on who played on the band, the worship leader did. I thought about confronting Roger with this, but I didn’t want to abandon my quest of finding a friend. And also, he seemed chill at first, if not a little insecure.
I was a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation, so I opted to change the subject. We talked a bit more about me having been held back, and he went on about how he was really good at math and chemistry, and how he could help me with my school stuff.
I was glad to have someone to help me, and even more, someone who apparently liked the stuff I liked. I remembered what he was listening to, so I commented on it and asked which song was his favorite, and we talked about Linkin Park for a bit. He said “In The End” was his favorite song, and then I mentioned I was a huge Linkin Park fan. He told me he was a big fan as well, but as we talked about it, it became a bit fishy. He never specifically said anything and just kinda repeated what I said. It became clear after a while that “In The End” was, in fact, virtually the only song he knew from that band.
That was the first time I noticed something strange, but only in hindsight, as at the time I just thought he really wanted to make a human connection. I remember thinking he was just excited to know someone who was open to talking to him, so I didn’t think anything of it.
Also, not everyone memorizes this stuff, and maybe he did only remember one song, for whatever reason, so I let that pass. I only felt necessary to include this information because it was, at least in some way, the first lie that Roger told me, a little sample, if you will, of what’s to come.
After we talked for a while, mostly catching up on our lives, the bell rung and our first actual class had begun, and I had the first-hand experience of this guy’s sense of humor. The teacher walked into the classroom and introduced himself as the new Geography teacher, and started a power point presentation about some of the subjects we’d be covering that year, saying “Please pay attention to this class, as you’ll need to know how our schedule will work”. Roger looked back and said “Huh, I guess this class is useless for you then, being held back and all, hahah”, which made everyone look at me and just kinda stare like I should say something, and he kept repeating the joke to anyone that showed any reaction besides just staring, adding “Amirite? Huh? Amirite?”.
I was kinda salty about this, but my people pleasing peapod brain couldn’t handle letting it show, so I just laughed and said nothing. I guessed it was a poorly thought out joke at first, but then Roger proceeded to make the same comment on every single one of the opening classes we had for both of the introductory days. There were 12 of them. He did it every time. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes he repeated it even louder, as if he didn’t think people heard it, because no-one was laughing.
“Ok”, I said to myself, “He didn’t mean to make fun of me, he’s just a little overexcited and probably is trying to make a connection and help me get acquainted to our classmates.”
Either way, I was very uncomfortable and annoyed.
Thankfully, this came to a halt when he was practically thrown out of the Literature class for interrupting the teacher mid-sentence while she talked about how important the first month of class would be for our comprehension of the whole subject. He made the joke four times. FOUR TIMES. I was beginning to think that I made a mistake, but well, the mistake was already made, at least I can try and understand him a bit, before judging.
The rest of the week went by and he didn’t get any better, but I got kinda used to it. In fact, I actually enjoyed having conversations with him at recess, when we could talk a bit more freely. And, as all things in life tend to do, it got weirder. Weirder in the sense that as we spoke more and more, I noticed a bit of a concerning pattern: every time I shared an experience I had, he’d share a cooler and more awesome almost equal experience back.
Some light examples:
I told him I went hiking for 2-3 kilometers on a trail by the beach. Then he smirked and said he went hiking for “at least 7 kilometers on a deserted beach that only his father’s company’s employees had access to and he saw a Gorilla. There are no gorillas in Brazil. Maybe in zoos, I guess, but definitely no gorillas.
I told him I was kinda sad because I had just ended a “thing” with a girl from my old grade. He “proudly” said he’s been dumped by his ex, Laura, after they dated for 11 months and made out aaaallll the time after school, and he even saw her “lady parts” once!”.
And then he went on to describe that shit for like 3 straight classes, adding more and more to the story every chance he had to speak, providing me with my daily dose of cringe in tiny bits of uncomfortable information at a time! Like a sporadic cringe snack! Sninge! Crack? Probably Crack.
ANYWAYS
There was also the time I told him the story of how I became best friends with a guy because we got into a fight in P.E.. We were arguing about some nonsense and he wanted to fight, so after he socked me on my stomach, I cheaply kicked him in the face so hard I almost sprained my ankle and then we started laughing (because I guess sometimes that’s all it takes). Phillip is my best friend for almost 10 years now.
Roger puffed up his soap dish chest went on for at least 2 classes worth of time about how he “beat up his last bully and broke both of his arms, and almost went to prison, but his dad is a lawyer and bailed him out”. Dude was 16, and I don’t think he’d need to be bailed out, but okay… He was, in fact, very badass.
Those are all approximations of actual stories he told me, because my ADHD memory is shit, but you get the gist of it.
My days were filled with endless stories filled with absolute bullshit, like a Gary Stu from a dying rpg campaign. (I have a story about a DnD game he participated in, but that’s for another time!)
Roger, not content with lying to me about anecdotal facts about his past that could be true but were almost certainly mostly bullshit (if not entirely), had a tendency to just negate reality when presented with facts in certain situations.
And example of this situation is the time we were doing a group assignment and a girl at least 3 meters in front of him dropped her pencil and he just kinda threw himself on the ground, picked it up and said “Here you go, Lana!”. She said “Thanks Roger!”, barely turning around and carried on with the assignment. Roger, then, turned to me with a sleek shit feasting smirk on his face and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me??”
I contained a ridiculing laughter just in time to realize he was dead serious.
I said “I don’t know man… Doesn’t seem like it to me, but sure I guess.”
RB then straight up asked ME to go talk to her and get HIM her number. When I asked why shouldn’t he do it, he said it was “the wingman’s job to get the number of the girl” so that he wouldn’t “look weak for asking”
I said I’d do it, cause I genuinely wanted to see if he was right about her liking him (I hadn’t really understood the dynamics of the classroom, so I actually had no idea if he was actually right, just a gut feeling that yeah, he probably wasn’t).
I went up to her and asked for her number, explaining it was Roger who was interested in her and, as I pulled out my raging 2014’s Sony XPeria, I was swiftly interrupted by her delicately saying “Sorry! I have a boyfriend.” (She said the boyfriend part out loud, and stared at Roger)
I said “Oh, ok, sorry to bother ya!” and, as I was starting to walk back, I noticed that she turned back and glared at Roger. Later that day her boyfriend texted him, telling him that “He’s got to stop asking her out, and next time, if he wants to get rejected, he should come do it himself” He called him a moron. And then they both blocked him.
Well, that was embarrassing.
Despite having been turned down (for the 6th time now, I’d come to find out), Roger still maintained that she was “totally into him”, and it wasn’t just Lana. Any time he had even the smallest interaction with any girl, he’d say that they’re “probably into him”, or that “they made out at a party, but she was drunk and probably won’t remember”, or that they “sent him nudes last year but he’s already deleted them because he’s a good person, with morals”.
This went on for a while and, after about a month, Roger begun to dial down the crazy stories about how he’s a “badass and he gets all the girls but he’s single because he’s too good for them”. Until I started seeing a girl from another church I started going to. I met Janice () at the churches youth group, and we talked the whole time afterwards about lots of stuff. This name’s given because of her insanely similar laughter and demeanor of Janice from Friends. We clicked well and I was very interested in her, but my ADHD ass forgot to get her number, and remembered it only when she had already left.
When I told Roger, he laughed and said “I had just cockblocked myself” and that I’d “probably missed my only chance of banging a girl ever”. I was bummed, but clarified I didn’t really want to have sex before marriage or at least before making an emotional connection (I had just then begun to go to church, so I didn’t really get the rules, so it was more of a personal choice I always had in mind when thinking about dating. Also I met her at church so wtf).
He said “that was dumb” and, “even though he was a virgin, he’d dance the Devil’s Tango with the first chick he had the chance to”
“What about Laura?”, I asked. His face went from a confident smirk to an almost sad expression, and he blankly replied: “She didn’t want to, but I tried anyway at times. I even got a blowie once!” I let it go because I was very tired, as Mondays are hell on earth.
A few classes later, I went up to him and reminded him of our conversation and asked:
I said “Ooookay, but what about all those girls you told me were all over you? Didn’t they want to have some bum bum times with you??”
He was taken by surprise by this, and was visibly trying so hard to think of an answer for at least 15 seconds. He mumbled “Well…”, and like just left. Like he got up in the middle of the class, and walked away. Well that was weird!
He got back and I didn’t pry, thinking he had some kind of trauma, and I tried to change the subject.
I say “tried” because instead we were suddenly interrupted by a girl asking me if I was Rick. I didn’t know her or how she had materialized beside our desks, but later I found out that that girl’s name was Mary. She had blue eyes and was smiling mischievously, and I answered “Yup, that’s me”. She then giggled and said that “Anna wanted to make out with me after class”. Me and Roger were both very much taken aback by this, and I immediately thought to myself that this could only be some type of dare or prank (which it probably was), and was about to try and respond with the first witty joke that popped up in my monkey brain when, without missing a beat, Roger said “Rick’s already seeing someone!”. Mary was visibly surprised and said “Oh, you have a girlfriend??” with a look of disbelief on her face. Ouch. I explained that I wouldn’t say I do, I just liked a girl from church and we’re going to see a movie with some friends on Saturday, and that either way it was a pass on the making out sesh! Mary said “Oh, okay!” and started to walk back to her desk. I was about to make a joke and say that Anna could probably do better than me, when Roger interjected:
RB: “I’d like a making out sesh if she’s interested!”
Mary looked back with a visible “Lol, ew no” expression and just said: “I’m sure you would, Roger!”, turned away and sat down, laughing with her friends when she got to her desk.
Roger turned to me and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me?”
This cycle repeated once in a while, so I’m not gonna tell you all of the situations that I felt like shaking him and trying to wake him up like Woody does to Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. Exhausting, right?
Another thing Roger tended to brag about was that he did Martial Arts. Specifically, Kung Fu (Wushu). I would come to find out that, in the year before, he made a big scene to tell everyone in class that he’d just started Kung-Fu classes and, when no-one payed attention, he started a habit of punching the wall beside his desk, audibly making “hmpft” noises. When anyone asked why, he’d say he was training, and that his Sensei (Not shifu, he actually said sensei) had asked him to do that to strengthen his fists so he could harness all the strength he had, so one day he could put a hole through a wall with his fists.
He would also punch the school’s fireproof doors because, if you didn’t know, they dent pretty easily, and he would show me and tell me to bask at his strength and ability. That until I said I’d give it a try. He told me not to, because “I wasn’t trained” and “it could really hurt my hand”. I punched the door. It made a dent.
Roger said it was beginners luck and that he’s just a good teacher. I told him I really didn’t even make an effort to pay attention, the metal was just bendy and soft. Roger never talked about it again, and started only punching walls. For that, he would feel superior because, yeah I ain’t doing that. There were consequences for his wall punching habits, but I’ll address that some other time.
The last thing I’ll say about him for now is how clueless Roger was, how much he thought of himself and how he treated everyone else like they should (and would) respecting for what he told them, and not for what he showed them.
(I plan on doing another part eventually, with the story of how his disconnection with reality, lies, schemes and generally narcissist behavior eventually exploded back into his face.)
As a last bit of exposition of our circumstances, there’s an important part of our school life that fueled Roger’s social life’s demise.
Pranking was a big part of my class’ culture. There were also some people in my classroom who were bullied. The thing is: the bullies actually made fun of literally everyone else, which made it very hard to figure out if you were considered a target or just a colleague. They’d mess with people’s stuff, tie backpacks to the windows and hide pencil cases, but they would also do it to their own group.
Essentially, the only way to differentiate those who they considered normal schoolmates from those who were bullied was the frequency of the pranks and their demeanor in general towards those people. They would apologize for the pranks, ask to make up for it, buy you lunch, make jokes, try to laugh with you. I swear some of those guys were politicians in the making. Luckily, was very good friends with one of the guys in that group, I’ll call him Turkey, who was also held back a few years before me, and he liked my sister, so I was mostly safe.
Roger, on the other hand, THOUGHT he was one of the pranksters. Every time someone pranked him or anyone else, he would laugh knowingly, like he was in on the joke the whole time, and try to make jokes, only to further humiliate himself. And they would capitalize on that as hard as they could.
You see, Roger liked to portray himself as the “Mysterious-Badass-Quiet-Protagonist-Take-No-Shit-From-Anyone-Mr.-Steal-Yo-Girl” guy. This combo of personality substitutes was the recipe for the downfall of his popularity, and the start of the longest lasting pranks I’ve ever seen in my life, which will come if yall want another post. That prank is also the reason I named him Roger Bacon.
Because he was so into Math and Science (and into himself too lol) he also always wanted to look like the smartest guy in the room. The problem is that, as our first semester went by, it became clear that he wasn’t as good as he hyped himself up to be. Shocker, right? This was proven to be true when we were doing a chemistry group test, and I was paired with him and Anna, and we needed to calculate some entropies or whatever. He made a point of telling us to do all of the “easy ones”, and he would take on the more complicated questions.
The thing is, he was trying really hard to look like a genius, to maybe impress Anna, so every time he made a calculation, he would roll his eyes up and kinda vibrate a little. I guess he wanted to look like a genius mathematics robot, but instead he looked like he was trying to imitate an autistic person having a small stroke. I didn’t mind the Good Doctor amateur impersonation, because at least it looked like he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, it really just looked like he knew what he was doing.
Each easy question of the test was worth 1 point, and there were 4 of them, and there were 3 hard questions worth 2 points each. We got a 4/10 on that test, and lo and behold, the only questions we got right were the ones me and Anna worked on. We were a bit pissed, not gonna lie.
Until the last time we spoke, Roger still blames Anna for his complete failure at this test for, in his words, distracting him because she was obviously into him.
But that’s just Roger, I guess!
I've got A LOT of stories about Roger and other neckbeards I've encountered, and I can't wait to tell them!
Until then, thanks for reading, and have a good one yall!

I recently started seeing a therapist that I actually like (after trying therapists that did not click, off-and-on over the years). I decided to seek therapy in part because I am experiencing a lot of stress in my life, especially from my new job, and it has left me feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Unfortunately, being so overwhelmed has impacted my ability to manage my time and appointments outside of work— twice in a row I have totally blanked on my appointments with her, even after setting notifications on my phone to remind me. I get involved with something at work and just lose all track of time. And then I feel so mortified and mad at myself. I am not typically the type of person who misses appointments, I feel like it’s so disrespectful and embarrassing.
I wrote to her to apologize and ask if she was interested in continuing our sessions despite my pattern of missing appointments. This just happened and she hasn’t responded yet, I am writing all of this here because I’m upset and wanted to “get it out” somewhere. I’m not sure what I should do now, I really feel like I’ve fucked up— like if I can’t even make it to an appointment, maybe I don’t deserve that help and need to help myself/figure out that issue first, before wasting someone’s time. On the other hand, I hope that she is open to rescheduling because it has been difficult to find a therapist and I like her. On the other other hand, I feel so embarrassed, I don’t know how I could face her again.
Anyways. Has anyone experienced a similar situation, from either side, and have advice or thoughts? Cheers.

I also need to "tell someone".
I am in love with someone whose wife is cheating. I (28F) met him (44M) in 2021 when I was 25. We met at work, he hired me for management. I realized that the heart racing that kept me up at night for a month was something more than a health condition. I knew I loved him when he came back from the vacation he took. It was October. I feel this October since.
We had amazing relationships with no indecency from his side. He is a family man top to bottom. He is hardworking, nice, and humble even though he earns a lot. He respected people of humble professions and came from a humble background himself. That touched me. I don’t usually fall for guys with money. I am a hopeless romantic type-a-gal.
SO his wife. Let’s call her Kay(~42F). I suddenly stumbled upon narcissistic abuse paragraphs that fit the image even though she can give a picture of a perfect wife and a mother. They have 2 kids. As of what I accidentally heard with my own ears she treats them badly. As she treats her mother-in-law.
I knew what that type of a person she was and I was afraid she would leave him heartbroken. I was scared for him.
Anyway. I had an experience of abusive relationships in the past and our connection with him allowed me to talk openly about it. We shared messages in a chat app. I told stories about how I was fooled around and left heartbroken. In case we lose touch and he finds out about her infidelity. I wanted for him to have a safe space in me. To be the one to understand what he is going through.
But one night I received a threat from her on Facebook. She read my messages to him about the indecent and abusive partner I had and she recognized herself, I guess. She blocked me and sent a threat that she unsent but I saw the top of a message before it disappeared.
I sent him a screenshot of that in the morning and after that. We talked, and I saw a side of him I hadn’t seen before, he said that if I didn’t stop what I was doing, he might divorce his wife. I left him a message that I loved him since it was a war in our country and I didn’t know when I would see him again. I wanted him to feel support at least from me, because I’ve heard a couple of times how she’s mistreated him behind closed doors(I was on the phone, and she was yelling at him).
Later I was scared for his life. I hired an investigator who found out that she doesn’t handle her business properly and it’s a delicate type of business. Plus actively cheated on her husband, the one I loved with my whole heart. And I started leaving clues for his friend with the help of the same detective. I spent a lot of money on secrecy and everything, but then wanted to uncover myself to him and ask for forgiveness for getting into this. But I was afraid for his life.
I saw how some wife sold out her husband’s location to the russists and got him killed so she could continue living the life she wanted with her lover. It is a true story and looked to me like a pattern Kay might also go for.
Since I warned her potential customers online that her business was untrustworthy, she got very angry and started ruining my life. Using a platform of her business, she posted online untrue fabricated information about me, my health condition, etc. I was very stressed and even got into a hospital.
When I was discharged, I came back to normal life and sent him an email about what she was writing about me. He started apologizing and said he would fix it.
It’s been a year and I haven’t heard from him since. I sent him a bunch of emails asking for an honest answer. But I haven’t received any. She continued posting horrible lies about me though. She also hired some man to pretend he was a Police officer to intimidate me. She is insinuating that I am this crazy stalker who is sexually harassing him. And that's not all of the horrible things she's posting.
I ended my last email by saying I respect his choice to stay with her even though she is indecent and cheating because I love him and therefore I have to respect him as well.
I am crushed, lately nearly committed suicide, trying to live normally again, but I don’t know how. I still hope we will be together and I can make him happy, not just married.

Buckle up, this is going to be confusing and long. I have to say from now that I actually have major "memory gaps" from alot of what happened and most of what I'll say from now is information I had to gather from people who were around me when this happened.
Last week, in school, I was sitting with my friends in the cafeteria area. I looked at my watch and realized the date of the day and thought "my dad is coming back today from traveling" (he was in another country), I just remembered a past memory of him yelling at me and abusing me. Now the thing I don't understand is that suddenly I kept having multiple "flashbacks", both visual and auditory, of the abuse my family put me through, including my dad. I wanted it to stop but I realized I couldn't, I was literally paralyzed on the outside. I tried to nudge my friend beside me but I could barely twitch my finger. (she was distracted with my other friend and had her head turned away from me). The best way I could explain the "flashbacks" is that it was like if you had multiple Tvs around you playing multiple movies, aka memories, all at once at high speed and volume.
I realized my heart was beating very fast and loudly, and even in less stressful situation than this one, feeling my heart makes me anxious. Luckily one of my other friends came to sit with us and noticed how I was. I tried with all my strength to talk to them and tell them what's happening but I was "paralyzed" and couldn't tell them. I was already extremely distressed and realizing how badly I couldn't react made me start crying involuntarily and they called the doctor assuming I was ill. Obviously the doctor realized I wasn't sick and told me to just drink juice. The more she asked questions and the more I didn't respond, the more she got frustrated at me. By that point they called my sister who also got mad at me for not talking. By then, the break had ended for a while and I don't know how but I ended up in my classroom, I think i just literally walked there but I don't remember doing that at all. Then I sat down on a chair next to the supervisors table and, once again, I don't remember what happened but I realized time had passed and there were multiple people surrounding me and one of my friends was on her knees infront me trying to talk to me. And when I realized I don't remember her walking up to me at all, talking to me, kneeling down beside me, I was so frightened and just started sobbing. I don't remember much from here but I do know, from my friends, that the supervisor told everyone to go back to their class. I should mention that my class was less than a few feet away from the supervisors seat, she doesn't have a private office.
I just started sobbing and sobbing and the only person I wanted was my closest friend, who I'll call "S", who knew me more than anyone else. I was scared of my dad so badly even though I knew he couldn't do anything in school. Again, I somehow ended up in another area near the supervisor's table and I was hugging S so hard her arms turned red. My mind felt hazy and then I glanced behind her for a second and I fucking saw my dad just standing there. I knew there was no fucking way he was there, I go to an all girls school, 3 floors up, and he was in a different country, but I was so confused. I half believed and half didn't. I was so horrified and I kept telling them he was there but they told me no one was there (from my friends' narration).
This kept going on for a while until I just somehow ended up in the bathroom, laying down on the floor, and a few teachers and people from the administration were surrounding me. I genuinely don't remember how I ended up there. It got so bad my sister had to call my therapist, and I yelled at the phone that my dad was there and he was going to hurt me but even I knew that was ridiculous but I couldn't help it. We had to hang up on her through. After a long while I managed to stand up and I was beside my class, my class door has a window thing you can look through and then it hit me that all of my classmates are seeing this and it scared me again.
My friends told me later that someone opened the door and I ran in and grabbed one of my closest friends who also knew about my dad's abuse and yelled at her something like "tell them I'm not lying tell them tell them" but the thing is I don't remember who "them is" or what I meant by lying I really don't. They kicked everyone in the class out and I ended up just sobbing for a while again. I don't remember much and my friends had to leave so I don't have any information of what happened. I ended up going home and they gave my mom a warning.
So fast forward to yesterday, on Tuesday. I was having a completely normal day, and then an hour into school, I just felt "weird" and started banging my head hard and alot on my table. Luckily the tables aren't that hard, I don't know what the material they're made out of is called but they can't really do much, it's hard but weak. My friends sitting beside me had to grab me with all their strength because, again from their narration, I kept trying to fight against them to hurt myself. The administration came in and kicked everyone out and I just kept trying over and over again to harm myself. Apparently I even tried to take my clothes off but they stopped me. But everyone saw what my upper body looked like I think. And I ended up downstairs 3 floors down in the principals office, I don't remember how I ended up there. I was screaming crying and begging for S and my favourite teacher, they wouldn't bring S but they did call that teacher. She kept hugging me and comforting me. Then they tried to make me leave to my driver who was outisde the gate. When they got me out to the gate i for some reason just ended up on the floor sobbinf and I don't know why. Then I looked behind me and my dad was there. It wasnt a delusion or whatever he was there. Enough time had passed for him to have time to come. They also called 3 male teachers from the boys section to carry me. When my dad held I can swear I screamed like I was tortured alive. The more he held me the more I was distressed and scared. I don't know what happened but he left and they called my mom to pick me up instead. (I live with both my parents but my dad has a busy job and had to go back to work for emergencies whole my mom stays at home). I went back home and the rest is too much irrelevant details I don't wanna focus on. Theres only one week of school left with exams, in the exams time we stay only 2 hours in school and leave, there's no classes or anything like that. And now the school is refusing to let me go back to my classrooms, they said I'll have to take the exams in the administration room.
I genuinely have no idea what's going on with me, I've done so much research but I haven't even found anything that could be a basic assumption or theory or idea or whatever of what's going I'm so confused I hate this and I'm stressed and now everyone at school knows I'm being abused by my dad. Please if you have any idea what's goin on with me, even if it might sound ridiculous or whatever please please tell. And I know I have to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist but we're still in the middle of dealing with that so yeah. Also no one in my family has a history of mental illness especially with something like this.

Hi all, I just wanted insight into a friendship that is now ending. Not that we are no longer friends or anything, but I am moving to a new place, and I don’t really keep in touch with friends after our lives have separated.
In short, the friendship was always about her. We went out to eat today as a final celebration of me and my brother's graduation, and the entire time, we were talking about her experiences and her life. (I had been trying to go out to eat with a group of friends for the past two weeks, and spur of the moment she was like, let's go eat today.)
Me and my ISTP brother were trying to connect with her, and she spent no effort trying to connect with us. (If we tried to bring the conversation somewhere we wanted to, she would get on her phone, and only if I said something she connected with, she would come back enthusiastically and take the floor.)
It was like, in her mind, the only person whose ideas or experiences needed consideration was her own. It felt baffling to me with my high Fe, and it felt like I was talking to an energy vampire.
That also showed in the way she showed empathy. Now, I won’t lie, there wasn’t a time where she was empathetic outwardly when I was around, but I’m sure in her mind she likes to think she is. She gets excited for friends, (if it’s something she’s happy for, she’s not going to be happy for you if you pass a hard exam and she failed then, she’s going to sulk and not share any happiness. (I get this is Fi authenticity, but I feel like there is justification in doing both, saying congratulations and asking for support)).
In the times she was showing care for me or our other friends, her empathy was always coming from ‘would this impact me’, and not, ‘how would this help them’ (Fi vs Fe).
I really do value her friendship, I wouldn’t be here asking for advice about Fi-Si if I didn’t.
I definitely valued the way she saw things and her mindset. You INFP’s are cute and are one of the types that help friendships reach a deeper level. But they never tried to get into a deeper level with me. As soon as her needs were met, she was fine and moved on.
It actually was expounded on when we were dating for a little, (long story, but I was so energetically drained because I hadn’t been with someone with such high Fi that often before, that I could not be there anymore).
In all our interactions, I always leave feeling emotionally drained and not listened to. The only couple times I asked for her to be there for me, I had to come out and be selective with my words and no energy really went my way. I asked to be listened to, and I come out having to worry about her feelings.
Every time I tried to describe myself and my mindset, (to be honest, my biggest issue was trying to get her to see things from a Ni standpoint to help understand me), it was ignored, or if it was a problem I was dealing with, she wouldn’t listen to me through and make a conclusion early.
Like INFPs, INFJs want to be seen by others, but my best luck so far has been with people who aren’t emotionally connected as well (IXTP), or people with high Fe (XXFJs). With IXTPs, they listen to you through, and enjoy the logic of the problem, and XXFJ, we give out energy and warmth with Fe.
But you INFP’s, you inspire me to care about myself more. That energy cannot be only given out, and friendships require you to ask for things as well. But even then, it’s like I couldn’t ask her to do the reverse for me. I couldn’t ask her to be there for me if she wasn’t emotionally connected with it herself the way I was able to give myself energy in order to be vulnerable.
In short, near the end of the relationship, I learned to just smile and wave, and instead of asking why I wasn’t trying anymore in the conversation to be seen in our conversations today, she just kept the conversation on her and kept going. Instead of trying to be understood by this person using my previous means, I just tried to learn from her about Fi and Si, and not try to show her into my mind anymore.
I want to know, what am I doing wrong? Is this a type of relationship that will always fail? To me, INFPs need someone to take care of them 24/7, so they can focus on themselves and have someone else take care of their needs, or someone whose main needs is not to connected to emotional space, and being listened to.
My assumption is that this is an unhealthy use of Fi, but given that my ISFP mom is does the same thing first (this screw you, I got mine mentality). I can’t help but wonder if it’s just part of the territory, and I should just take that into account when meeting other high Fi people in the future.

(PSA) I want to start off by recommending retroarch for iPad users. Delta is a FANTASTIC app. I highly recommend it. That being said, if you want to play on an iPad in landscape mode, there is only the iOS version of Delta on iPad. The developer is working on the app for iPad, but as of writing this, retroarch scales perfectly.
(PSA) When it comes to cores. On the apple version of this app, all the cores apple has approved are already included in the app. Can’t add or remove any cores like you can on all the other platforms when running retroarch. If a core is not in retroarch on an apple platform, it is not an approved core or is limited by apple restrictions and will not play well. Apple is not allowing JIT. This is a problem for ps2, psp, and GameCube for sure.
(PRO TIP. .7z to .zip) Using the files app, you can unzip a .7z file. Just rename it to .zip and select it. The files app will unzip it. Done. No need for an unzipping app.
(REQUIRED.) Some cores will crash or not boot a rom. I have found this to be mostly related to bios files not being in the app. (To add bios files = Use the files app. Go to on my iphone. Then find the retroarch folder, and select it. Then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch. After that scroll down to the folder named system. Dump all of your bios for all systems into this folder. I would add any bios you can find for the systems you are playing. This will stop the crashing and increase compatibility with games from different regions.) , (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) If you try to load a rom and it still crashes use a different core to launch that game if it is available. It could be a compatibility issue between the core and the rom. Or it could be region locked and you still need another bios file.

1.) (REQUIRED.) If you want to save yourself some annoyances with Retroarch on iOS, then after you make a change to your settings, hit home in the navigation menu, select configuration file, then save configuration file. I choose the overwrite option, but you can choose what best fits you. We can do this on other platforms by just tapping the back button until it exits the application, but there isn’t a back button on iOS.

2.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to turn on vibration/ haptic feedback. Go to settings in the navigation menu, input and scroll down to haptic feedback. I turn both options on and leave the vibration strength at 100%.

3.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the user interface. You can do this in two ways. A.) Changing the theme. Go to settings, user interface, appearance, select color theme and then choose your favorite. Mine is material ui dark. A.1) If you want you can also choose another app icon. The setting is the first option under user interface. B.) I like the stock setup, but you can change the entire layout to be different. You can go to settings, drivers, and select menu. The stock option is glui. You can choose the option you like the best in this section.

4.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the date and time format at the top to be something I am more used to. Go to settings, user interface, menu item visibility and select “style of date and time” towards the end of the list.

5.) (REQUIRED.) GETTING GAMES IN THE APP. Then we get to importing content. In the iOS version, Retroarch wants the roms to be placed into a folder that is inside of the Retroarch app itself. What I do is take the roms I want to play on Retroarch and move them into the Retroarch app. Here is how I do that. I have a folder already on my iPhone with the roms I want to play on Retroarch. (I store my roms on device. Using the Files app, then on my iphone and save the folder on your phone first. We move it to where it needs to go in the next step.). My folder is named “Retroarch Roms”. It can be really helpful to stay organized. Especially if you also use the Delta and ppsspp apps. I use the files app to locate this folder. Then I select it and move it. Or you could copy it but be mindful of files sizes and storage space. (I put “copy it” in here for a major reason. If you store all your roms in retroarch. And one day you want to delete and reinstall the app…. Bye bye roms. My library is too big to back up to iCloud. But that might be a good option if it works. I have not tested it.). Then move or paste this folder inside of the Retroarch app folder under downloads. (Files app, on my iphone, scroll down to retroarch – select it, then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch, then scroll down to downloads, select it. Your entire folder or multiple folders can go here.) Then hit the playlist menu (middle navigation button.) and select import content. Then scan directory. Click documents/retroarch, scroll down to downloads, then select scan this directory. Then let it do its thing. I like to leave the app open and on screen so the iphone/ipad doesn’t limit background activity. After it is done you can come back to the playlist menu to look through and launch your games. After you have launched a few games, You can go to Home, history and launch your recently played games from there. There is a favorites tab in the playlist section, but I don’t use it personally.

6.) (UPDATES.) I like to make sure a few things are up to date. So, I hit the home menu at the bottom. Go to online updater. Make sure on demand thumbnails is toggled on. (This will add box art on demand as you scroll through your playlist/library.) Then just below that update core files and all the others below it. Update all of them. Then scroll back up to playlist thumbnail updater (This is how you download box art manually for each playlist/library.) and select any system libraries/playlists that are missing album art. If it is your first time, I would just select them all to make sure box art is there when you browse your library. If you want some free to use roms go to content downloader and some homebrew and other roms are in there for each system.

(PSA.2) After you are done changing any settings. Do not just close the app. Make sure you save the configuration file like I mentioned at the start of this post. If not, the settings you changed will be “forgotten” but the roms and album art should still be there. Man, I wish someone told me that before I wasted my life 3 times in a row.

7.) (PS1) Firmware for ps1. To run games correctly you will need firmware for the ps1. PSX rearmed can get you started and playing but the “beetle psx hw” core for ps1 has an upscaling capability. This will make games look tremendously better. Firmware location. After a quick search on the interwebs, you have what you need. (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and which are required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) Use your files app. Go to on my iPhone. Find the Retroarch app folder. Click the folder in there named retroarch. Scroll down to system and dump the bios files there. I can’t say where to get them, but “psx bios” should be easy to find in an archive if you search the googles. Make sure the spelling matches specifically. You can look in settings. Scroll down to directory. And you can scroll through where the app is currently looking for bios and you can change that if you need to. You can also go to settings, select core, manage cores, then scroll to the core you are looking for, then select the core. Scroll down to firmware section and select the “looking in” option to see where it wants the bios. It will tell you if any bios are missing as well. This can apply to any core. Not just ps1 cores.

8.) (SEGA SATURN.). Make sure all the Saturn bios are in the system folder inside the Retroarch folder (Look at the other bullet points on this post to see how. Some games will not launch unless the core has the correct bios. ). Roms. After extracting a rom, it should be a folder full of bin files. Put that whole folder (For each game/rom) in a Saturn roms sub folder. (Make a new folder called “Saturn Roms”.) Using the files app, go to on my iphone, go to the retroarch folder, then the retroarch sub folder. Then scroll down and select downloads. This is where you want to store the Saturn Roms folder. When you import content into retroarch. It will scan the folders and subfolders that have all the bin files. Games will appear as one in the playlist/library.

8.) (FAST VIDEO OR AUDiO) Sync issues. I turned on audio sync and it ran sonic super fast. Other people have had the opposite problem and need to turn it on. The same goes for video sync. The fixes are different depending on the device. Go to settings, video, synchronization, and adjust. You can change the refresh rate in the settings, video, output, vertical refresh rate in this section. This should only be adjusted if you are having issues. Audio sync is under settings, audio, synchronization. It says recommended to turn on. Mine goes crazy if I toggle that on. So I leave it off.

9.) (CORE OPTIONS.) Some systems have multiple cores available. I change them out on the fly by hitting playlist in the navigation menu (Middle option.) Scrolling down to the system I want to play. Then selecting the game, I am looking for. (Do not select run yet.) Then scrolling down and selecting set core association. If you want to use the same core for an entire playlist/library. You can go to settings. Playlists, manage playlists, then select the system you want to set a core for, scroll down to default core, and you can pick the one that works best for your needs.

(DIRECT LINK.) Below is a direct link to the app on the app store for those that have trouble finding it.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/retroarch/id6499539433

So My (20M) almost 2-year GF(21F) were sitting on the couch. She pulled up my phone (she knows all my passcodes) and starts looking through my Instagram ‘clicked links’ history. She scrolled for a minute and then found that I had clicked on 3 consecutive Onlyfans Links. I then proceeded to tell her that I get some of those on my page and so sometime I just click them, not having any ulterior motive or anything like that. She then proceeds to tell me immediately that she is upset and needs some time to think. I obviously understood as she must’ve been hurt at the idea that I was looking at other people. In fact I wasn’t, and you can’t even see anything without paying.
2 days later with her asking to give her space, she turned up to my house and said “that was a dealbreaker” so now it’s over. She told me she felt “objectified” and “cheated on”. She didn’t even give me a chance to explain or talk anything through. She accused me of paying for it or signing up, but she didn’t want to look at my emails or my bank account statements when I offered. In that moment I was really flustered so I didn’t say anything back and just respected her decision.
She has requested no-contact, so for her sake, I’m willing to honour that, but it’s been really difficult for me as I’ve been left with so many questions unanswered. I.e (was that the only reason? Why couldn’t we talk it through?)
In all honesty, I don’t even remember clicking or looking at a link, I just told her I was curious because I thought owning up to a mistake would be better than just saying I didn’t do it. I would never do anything to harm her. In my opinion, I don’t want to diminish her feelings and how she feels about the situation but I think it’s a slight overreaction for a 2 year relationship.
To make it clear, on the day she broke up with me I asked if she was thinking about it before this incident or anything, and she replied “no this was it”. So I doubt that there was any other reason
As a side note: she found out how to do this through a tik tok video in which a girl broke up with her boyfriend because she found 87 onlyfans links in his clicked links history.
It’s been a few days and I haven’t been able to wrap my head around it, I would never do anything to try and hurt her, and I’m really regretful as to what I did and I wish I could take it all back. (Although I do think sometimes that I really didn’t do anything - I swear on every living being that day didn’t do anything with that link)
Through this time off (about a week), I decided that I want to talk to her about it and that this relationship is worth fighting for, and I don’t think that this should be the thing to end it without at least a conversation to try and remediate it. AITA?

I lived in an extremely small town in the countryside, so everyone knew each other, went to each other's houses and so on, and there was a certain family, who lived further away from the center, who everyone loved, including my family, my best friend was hers.
And in mid-June or July 2018, they announced that they would move to the capital, and everyone was surprised because they always said they would never move, and that news affected me completely. They moved in mid-September, I managed to say goodbye to everyone, and my best friend, but he didn't have a cell phone, which meant I wouldn't have contact with him for a long time.
I wasn't there anymore, I didn't talk to anyone, I didn't want to leave the house, I didn't want to do absolutely anything anymore, just lie in my bed, lamenting, even if it wasn't going to come to anything.
The route I took to go to school was right in front of their street, and their old house was the last one, at the end of the street (it was a dead end street), I returned home at approximately 7:40 pm.
I remember to this day, It was Monday, I was coming home, it was already completely dark, when I went down the street, there were some streetlights lighting up the last house (my best friend's, who no longer lived there), and there, where the last streetlight projected the last light, the figure of a clown.
I was completely shocked and paralyzed, I didn't know what to do, I just stared at that thing, I could see some of the colors, his face was completely white, he had a look on his face completely serious, he wore a two-color outfit, a faded yellow, and what looked like a very light blue, or a green, and he held three balloons, one red, one blue, and one more yellow.
I thought it was just a bad joke, even though I was scared, I headed towards my house, when I got there, my mother was making dinner, I just greeted her, and went to my room watch a movie or series.
It wasn't even half an hour after I got home, I was lying in my bed, and the light went out, and darkness took over everything, at the same time I took out my cell phone and turned on its flash, and I'll walk around the house.
"mom" first time, "mom" second time, "mom" third time, on the fourth, the sound of a slamming door echoed like a very loud crash behind me, I turned around very quickly, to see the scene that would traumatize me the most to this day.
My mother, hanging from a rope, hanged, was covered in fresh blood, which suggests that it happened now, but I didn't hear anything! I have no idea how this could have happened.
Her organs were out, hanging, as were her eyes, bulging out of their sockets, and behind her, the clown, who smiled miserably.
I just started crying, crying and crying, I started running completely desperate through the streets, where I got a taxi, With great difficulty, I managed to give the address of my aunt and uncle's house, which was in another city, but was relatively.
As he saw my situation, for some reason he didn't make me pay, he just left me at my destination, and I frantically knocked on each door.
After a long time of talking, we were all crying, trying not to imagine what that stupid clown did to my mother, the mother I loved so much, I was only 11 years old.
After a few days, I had to go back to my old house to get the body, but since that happened, I've changed even more for the worse.
I cried all day, I didn't leave my room, I got bad grades (and I continued living with my aunt and uncle).
But nothing, absolutely nothing, takes away the image of that clown, smiling, while my mother was dead, right in front of him, I think I'm going crazy, Every corner I go, I keep seeing that clown, just like he was in my house.

Buckle up, this is going to be confusing and long. I have to say from now that I actually have major "memory gaps" from alot of what happened and most of what I'll say from now is information I had to gather from people who were around me when this happened.
Last week, in school, I was sitting with my friends in the cafeteria area. I looked at my watch and realized the date of the day and thought "my dad is coming back today from traveling" (he was in another country), I just remembered a past memory of him yelling at me and abusing me. Now the thing I don't understand is that suddenly I kept having multiple "flashbacks", both visual and auditory, of the abuse my family put me through, including my dad. I wanted it to stop but I realized I couldn't, I was literally paralyzed on the outside. I tried to nudge my friend beside me but I could barely twitch my finger. (she was distracted with my other friend and had her head turned away from me). The best way I could explain the "flashbacks" is that it was like if you had multiple Tvs around you playing multiple movies, aka memories, all at once at high speed and volume.
I realized my heart was beating very fast and loudly, and even in less stressful situation than this one, feeling my heart makes me anxious. Luckily one of my other friends came to sit with us and noticed how I was. I tried with all my strength to talk to them and tell them what's happening but I was "paralyzed" and couldn't tell them. I was already extremely distressed and realizing how badly I couldn't react made me start crying involuntarily and they called the doctor assuming I was ill. Obviously the doctor realized I wasn't sick and told me to just drink juice. The more she asked questions and the more I didn't respond, the more she got frustrated at me. By that point they called my sister who also got mad at me for not talking. By then, the break had ended for a while and I don't know how but I ended up in my classroom, I think i just literally walked there but I don't remember doing that at all. Then I sat down on a chair next to the supervisors table and, once again, I don't remember what happened but I realized time had passed and there were multiple people surrounding me and one of my friends was on her knees infront me trying to talk to me. And when I realized I don't remember her walking up to me at all, talking to me, kneeling down beside me, I was so frightened and just started sobbing. I don't remember much from here but I do know, from my friends, that the supervisor told everyone to go back to their class. I should mention that my class was less than a few feet away from the supervisors seat, she doesn't have a private office.
I just started sobbing and sobbing and the only person I wanted was my closest friend, who I'll call "S", who knew me more than anyone else. I was scared of my dad so badly even though I knew he couldn't do anything in school. Again, I somehow ended up in another area near the supervisor's table and I was hugging S so hard her arms turned red. My mind felt hazy and then I glanced behind her for a second and I fucking saw my dad just standing there. I knew there was no fucking way he was there, I go to an all girls school, 3 floors up, and he was in a different country, but I was so confused. I half believed and half didn't. I was so horrified and I kept telling them he was there but they told me no one was there (from my friends' narration).
This kept going on for a while until I just somehow ended up in the bathroom, laying down on the floor, and a few teachers and people from the administration were surrounding me. I genuinely don't remember how I ended up there. It got so bad my sister had to call my therapist, and I yelled at the phone that my dad was there and he was going to hurt me but even I knew that was ridiculous but I couldn't help it. We had to hang up on her through. After a long while I managed to stand up and I was beside my class, my class door has a window thing you can look through and then it hit me that all of my classmates are seeing this and it scared me again.
My friends told me later that someone opened the door and I ran in and grabbed one of my closest friends who also knew about my dad's abuse and yelled at her something like "tell them I'm not lying tell them tell them" but the thing is I don't remember who "them is" or what I meant by lying I really don't. They kicked everyone in the class out and I ended up just sobbing for a while again. I don't remember much and my friends had to leave so I don't have any information of what happened. I ended up going home and they gave my mom a warning.
So fast forward to yesterday, on Tuesday. I was having a completely normal day, and then an hour into school, I just felt "weird" and started banging my head hard and alot on my table. Luckily the tables aren't that hard, I don't know what the material they're made out of is called but they can't really do much, it's hard but weak. My friends sitting beside me had to grab me with all their strength because, again from their narration, I kept trying to fight against them to hurt myself. The administration came in and kicked everyone out and I just kept trying over and over again to harm myself. Apparently I even tried to take my clothes off but they stopped me. But everyone saw what my upper body looked like I think. And I ended up downstairs 3 floors down in the principals office, I don't remember how I ended up there. I was screaming crying and begging for S and my favourite teacher, they wouldn't bring S but they did call that teacher. She kept hugging me and comforting me. Then they tried to make me leave to my driver who was outisde the gate. When they got me out to the gate i for some reason just ended up on the floor sobbinf and I don't know why. Then I looked behind me and my dad was there. It wasnt a delusion or whatever he was there. Enough time had passed for him to have time to come. They also called 3 male teachers from the boys section to carry me. When my dad held I can swear I screamed like I was tortured alive. The more he held me the more I was distressed and scared. I don't know what happened but he left and they called my mom to pick me up instead. (I live with both my parents but my dad has a busy job and had to go back to work for emergencies whole my mom stays at home). I went back home and the rest is too much irrelevant details I don't wanna focus on. Theres only one week of school left with exams, in the exams time we stay only 2 hours in school and leave, there's no classes or anything like that. And now the school is refusing to let me go back to my classrooms, they said I'll have to take the exams in the administration room.
I genuinely have no idea what's going on with me, I've done so much research but I haven't even found anything that could be a basic assumption or theory or idea or whatever of what's going I'm so confused I hate this and I'm stressed and now everyone at school knows I'm being abused by my dad. Please if you have any idea what's goin on with me, even if it might sound ridiculous or whatever please please tell. And I know I have to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist but we're still in the middle of dealing with that so yeah. Also no one in my family has a history of mental illness especially with something like this.
Ps. As I've said most of what I've written is from what people told me they saw when they were there so I can't guarantee I'll be able to answer most questions.

Quick start guide / tips for Retroarch on iOS / Ipados

(PSA) I want to start off by recommending retroarch for iPad users. Delta is a FANTASTIC app. I highly recommend it. That being said, if you want to play on an iPad in landscape mode, there is only the iOS version of Delta on iPad. The developer is working on the app for iPad, but as of writing this, retroarch scales perfectly.
(PSA) When it comes to cores. On the apple version of this app, all the cores apple has approved are already included in the app. Can’t add or remove any cores like you can on all the other platforms when running retroarch. If a core is not in retroarch on an apple platform, it is not an approved core or is limited by apple restrictions and will not play well. Apple is not allowing JIT. This is a problem for ps2, psp, and GameCube for sure.
(PRO TIP. .7z to .zip) Using the files app, you can unzip a .7z file. Just rename it to .zip and select it. The files app will unzip it. Done. No need for an unzipping app.
(REQUIRED.) Some cores will crash or not boot a rom. I have found this to be mostly related to bios files not being in the app. (To add bios files = Use the files app. Go to on my iphone. Then find the retroarch folder, and select it. Then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch. After that scroll down to the folder named system. Dump all of your bios for all systems into this folder. I would add any bios you can find for the systems you are playing. This will stop the crashing and increase compatibility with games from different regions.) , (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) If you try to load a rom and it still crashes use a different core to launch that game if it is available. It could be a compatibility issue between the core and the rom. Or it could be region locked and you still need another bios file.

1.) (REQUIRED.) If you want to save yourself some annoyances with Retroarch on iOS, then after you make a change to your settings, hit home in the navigation menu, select configuration file, then save configuration file. I choose the overwrite option, but you can choose what best fits you. We can do this on other platforms by just tapping the back button until it exits the application, but there isn’t a back button on iOS.

2.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to turn on vibration/ haptic feedback. Go to settings in the navigation menu, input and scroll down to haptic feedback. I turn both options on and leave the vibration strength at 100%.

3.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the user interface. You can do this in two ways. A.) Changing the theme. Go to settings, user interface, appearance, select color theme and then choose your favorite. Mine is material ui dark. A.1) If you want you can also choose another app icon. The setting is the first option under user interface. B.) I like the stock setup, but you can change the entire layout to be different. You can go to settings, drivers, and select menu. The stock option is glui. You can choose the option you like the best in this section.

4.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the date and time format at the top to be something I am more used to. Go to settings, user interface, menu item visibility and select “style of date and time” towards the end of the list.

5.) (REQUIRED.) GETTING GAMES IN THE APP. Then we get to importing content. In the iOS version, Retroarch wants the roms to be placed into a folder that is inside of the Retroarch app itself. What I do is take the roms I want to play on Retroarch and move them into the Retroarch app. Here is how I do that. I have a folder already on my iPhone with the roms I want to play on Retroarch. (I store my roms on device. Using the Files app, then on my iphone and save the folder on your phone first. We move it to where it needs to go in the next step.). My folder is named “Retroarch Roms”. It can be really helpful to stay organized. Especially if you also use the Delta and ppsspp apps. I use the files app to locate this folder. Then I select it and move it. Or you could copy it but be mindful of files sizes and storage space. (I put “copy it” in here for a major reason. If you store all your roms in retroarch. And one day you want to delete and reinstall the app…. Bye bye roms. My library is too big to back up to iCloud. But that might be a good option if it works. I have not tested it.). Then move or paste this folder inside of the Retroarch app folder under downloads. (Files app, on my iphone, scroll down to retroarch – select it, then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch, then scroll down to downloads, select it. Your entire folder or multiple folders can go here.) Then hit the playlist menu (middle navigation button.) and select import content. Then scan directory. Click documents/retroarch, scroll down to downloads, then select scan this directory. Then let it do its thing. I like to leave the app open and on screen so the iphone/ipad doesn’t limit background activity. After it is done you can come back to the playlist menu to look through and launch your games. After you have launched a few games, You can go to Home, history and launch your recently played games from there. There is a favorites tab in the playlist section, but I don’t use it personally.

6.) (UPDATES.) I like to make sure a few things are up to date. So, I hit the home menu at the bottom. Go to online updater. Make sure on demand thumbnails is toggled on. (This will add box art on demand as you scroll through your playlist/library.) Then just below that update core files and all the others below it. Update all of them. Then scroll back up to playlist thumbnail updater (This is how you download box art manually for each playlist/library.) and select any system libraries/playlists that are missing album art. If it is your first time, I would just select them all to make sure box art is there when you browse your library. If you want some free to use roms go to content downloader and some homebrew and other roms are in there for each system.

(PSA.2) After you are done changing any settings. Do not just close the app. Make sure you save the configuration file like I mentioned at the start of this post. If not, the settings you changed will be “forgotten” but the roms and album art should still be there. Man, I wish someone told me that before I wasted my life 3 times in a row.

7.) (PS1) Firmware for ps1. To run games correctly you will need firmware for the ps1. PSX rearmed can get you started and playing but the “beetle psx hw” core for ps1 has an upscaling capability. This will make games look tremendously better. Firmware location. After a quick search on the interwebs, you have what you need. (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and which are required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) Use your files app. Go to on my iPhone. Find the Retroarch app folder. Click the folder in there named retroarch. Scroll down to system and dump the bios files there. I can’t say where to get them, but “psx bios” should be easy to find in an archive if you search the googles. Make sure the spelling matches specifically. You can look in settings. Scroll down to directory. And you can scroll through where the app is currently looking for bios and you can change that if you need to. You can also go to settings, select core, manage cores, then scroll to the core you are looking for, then select the core. Scroll down to firmware section and select the “looking in” option to see where it wants the bios. It will tell you if any bios are missing as well. This can apply to any core. Not just ps1 cores.

8.) (SEGA SATURN.). Make sure all the Saturn bios are in the system folder inside the Retroarch folder (Look at the other bullet points on this post to see how. Some games will not launch unless the core has the correct bios. ). Roms. After extracting a rom, it should be a folder full of bin files. Put that whole folder (For each game/rom) in a Saturn roms sub folder. (Make a new folder called “Saturn Roms”.) Using the files app, go to on my iphone, go to the retroarch folder, then the retroarch sub folder. Then scroll down and select downloads. This is where you want to store the Saturn Roms folder. When you import content into retroarch. It will scan the folders and subfolders that have all the bin files. Games will appear as one in the playlist/library.

8.) (FAST VIDEO OR AUDiO) Sync issues. I turned on audio sync and it ran sonic super fast. Other people have had the opposite problem and need to turn it on. The same goes for video sync. The fixes are different depending on the device. Go to settings, video, synchronization, and adjust. You can change the refresh rate in the settings, video, output, vertical refresh rate in this section. This should only be adjusted if you are having issues. Audio sync is under settings, audio, synchronization. It says recommended to turn on. Mine goes crazy if I toggle that on. So I leave it off.

9.) (CORE OPTIONS.) Some systems have multiple cores available. I change them out on the fly by hitting playlist in the navigation menu (Middle option.) Scrolling down to the system I want to play. Then selecting the game, I am looking for. (Do not select run yet.) Then scrolling down and selecting set core association. If you want to use the same core for an entire playlist/library. You can go to settings. Playlists, manage playlists, then select the system you want to set a core for, scroll down to default core, and you can pick the one that works best for your needs.

(DIRECT LINK.) Below is a direct link to the app on the app store for those that have trouble finding it.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/retroarch/id6499539433

Buckle up, this is going to be confusing and long. I have to say from now that I actually have major "memory gaps" from alot of what happened and most of what I'll say from now is information I had to gather from people who were around me when this happened.
Last week, in school, I was sitting with my friends in the cafeteria area. I looked at my watch and realized the date of the day and thought "my dad is coming back today from traveling" (he was in another country), I just remembered a past memory of him yelling at me and abusing me. Now the thing I don't understand is that suddenly I kept having multiple "flashbacks", both visual and auditory, of the abuse my family put me through, including my dad. I wanted it to stop but I realized I couldn't, I was literally paralyzed on the outside. I tried to nudge my friend beside me but I could barely twitch my finger. (she was distracted with my other friend and had her head turned away from me). The best way I could explain the "flashbacks" is that it was like if you had multiple Tvs around you playing multiple movies, aka memories, all at once at high speed and volume.
I realized my heart was beating very fast and loudly, and even in less stressful situation than this one, feeling my heart makes me anxious. Luckily one of my other friends came to sit with us and noticed how I was. I tried with all my strength to talk to them and tell them what's happening but I was "paralyzed" and couldn't tell them. I was already extremely distressed and realizing how badly I couldn't react made me start crying involuntarily and they called the doctor assuming I was ill. Obviously the doctor realized I wasn't sick and told me to just drink juice. The more she asked questions and the more I didn't respond, the more she got frustrated at me. By that point they called my sister who also got mad at me for not talking. By then, the break had ended for a while and I don't know how but I ended up in my classroom, I think i just literally walked there but I don't remember doing that at all. Then I sat down on a chair next to the supervisors table and, once again, I don't remember what happened but I realized time had passed and there were multiple people surrounding me and one of my friends was on her knees infront me trying to talk to me. And when I realized I don't remember her walking up to me at all, talking to me, kneeling down beside me, I was so frightened and just started sobbing. I don't remember much from here but I do know, from my friends, that the supervisor told everyone to go back to their class. I should mention that my class was less than a few feet away from the supervisors seat, she doesn't have a private office.
I just started sobbing and sobbing and the only person I wanted was my closest friend, who I'll call "S", who knew me more than anyone else. I was scared of my dad so badly even though I knew he couldn't do anything in school. Again, I somehow ended up in another area near the supervisor's table and I was hugging S so hard her arms turned red. My mind felt hazy and then I glanced behind her for a second and I fucking saw my dad just standing there. I knew there was no fucking way he was there, I go to an all girls school, 3 floors up, and he was in a different country, but I was so confused. I half believed and half didn't. I was so horrified and I kept telling them he was there but they told me no one was there (from my friends' narration).
This kept going on for a while until I just somehow ended up in the bathroom, laying down on the floor, and a few teachers and people from the administration were surrounding me. I genuinely don't remember how I ended up there. It got so bad my sister had to call my therapist, and I yelled at the phone that my dad was there and he was going to hurt me but even I knew that was ridiculous but I couldn't help it. We had to hang up on her through. After a long while I managed to stand up and I was beside my class, my class door has a window thing you can look through and then it hit me that all of my classmates are seeing this and it scared me again.
My friends told me later that someone opened the door and I ran in and grabbed one of my closest friends who also knew about my dad's abuse and yelled at her something like "tell them I'm not lying tell them tell them" but the thing is I don't remember who "them is" or what I meant by lying I really don't. They kicked everyone in the class out and I ended up just sobbing for a while again. I don't remember much and my friends had to leave so I don't have any information of what happened. I ended up going home and they gave my mom a warning.
So fast forward to yesterday, on Tuesday. I was having a completely normal day, and then an hour into school, I just felt "weird" and started banging my head hard and alot on my table. Luckily the tables aren't that hard, I don't know what the material they're made out of is called but they can't really do much, it's hard but weak. My friends sitting beside me had to grab me with all their strength because, again from their narration, I kept trying to fight against them to hurt myself. The administration came in and kicked everyone out and I just kept trying over and over again to harm myself. Apparently I even tried to take my clothes off but they stopped me. But everyone saw what my upper body looked like I think. And I ended up downstairs 3 floors down in the principals office, I don't remember how I ended up there. I was screaming crying and begging for S and my favourite teacher, they wouldn't bring S but they did call that teacher. She kept hugging me and comforting me. Then they tried to make me leave to my driver who was outisde the gate. When they got me out to the gate i for some reason just ended up on the floor sobbinf and I don't know why. Then I looked behind me and my dad was there. It wasnt a delusion or whatever he was there. Enough time had passed for him to have time to come. They also called 3 male teachers from the boys section to carry me. When my dad held I can swear I screamed like I was tortured alive. The more he held me the more I was distressed and scared. I don't know what happened but he left and they called my mom to pick me up instead. (I live with both my parents but my dad has a busy job and had to go back to work for emergencies whole my mom stays at home). I went back home and the rest is too much irrelevant details I don't wanna focus on. Theres only one week of school left with exams, in the exams time we stay only 2 hours in school and leave, there's no classes or anything like that. And now the school is refusing to let me go back to my classrooms, they said I'll have to take the exams in the administration room.
I genuinely have no idea what's going on with me, I've done so much research but I haven't even found anything that could be a basic assumption or theory or idea or whatever of what's going I'm so confused I hate this and I'm stressed and now everyone at school knows I'm being abused by my dad. Please if you have any idea what's goin on with me, even if it might sound ridiculous or whatever please please tell. And I know I have to go to a psychiatrist or psychologist but we're still in the middle of dealing with that so yeah. Also no one in my family has a history of mental illness especially with something like this.

(PSA) I want to start off by recommending retroarch for iPad users. Delta is a FANTASTIC app. I highly recommend it. That being said, if you want to play on an iPad in landscape mode, there is only the iOS version of Delta on iPad. The developer is working on the app for iPad, but as of writing this, retroarch scales perfectly.
(PSA) When it comes to cores. On the apple version of this app, all the cores apple has approved are already included in the app. Can’t add or remove any cores like you can on all the other platforms when running retroarch. If a core is not in retroarch on an apple platform, it is not an approved core or is limited by apple restrictions and will not play well. Apple is not allowing JIT. This is a problem for ps2, psp, and GameCube for sure.
(PRO TIP. .7z to .zip) Using the files app, you can unzip a .7z file. Just rename it to .zip and select it. The files app will unzip it. Done. No need for an unzipping app.
(REQUIRED.) Some cores will crash or not boot a rom. I have found this to be mostly related to bios files not being in the app. (To add bios files = Use the files app. Go to on my iphone. Then find the retroarch folder, and select it. Then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch. After that scroll down to the folder named system. Dump all of your bios for all systems into this folder. I would add any bios you can find for the systems you are playing. This will stop the crashing and increase compatibility with games from different regions.) , (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) If you try to load a rom and it still crashes use a different core to launch that game if it is available. It could be a compatibility issue between the core and the rom. Or it could be region locked and you still need another bios file.

1.) (REQUIRED.) If you want to save yourself some annoyances with Retroarch on iOS, then after you make a change to your settings, hit home in the navigation menu, select configuration file, then save configuration file. I choose the overwrite option, but you can choose what best fits you. We can do this on other platforms by just tapping the back button until it exits the application, but there isn’t a back button on iOS.

2.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to turn on vibration/ haptic feedback. Go to settings in the navigation menu, input and scroll down to haptic feedback. I turn both options on and leave the vibration strength at 100%.

3.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the user interface. You can do this in two ways. A.) Changing the theme. Go to settings, user interface, appearance, select color theme and then choose your favorite. Mine is material ui dark. A.1) If you want you can also choose another app icon. The setting is the first option under user interface. B.) I like the stock setup, but you can change the entire layout to be different. You can go to settings, drivers, and select menu. The stock option is glui. You can choose the option you like the best in this section.

4.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the date and time format at the top to be something I am more used to. Go to settings, user interface, menu item visibility and select “style of date and time” towards the end of the list.

5.) (REQUIRED.) GETTING GAMES IN THE APP. Then we get to importing content. In the iOS version, Retroarch wants the roms to be placed into a folder that is inside of the Retroarch app itself. What I do is take the roms I want to play on Retroarch and move them into the Retroarch app. Here is how I do that. I have a folder already on my iPhone with the roms I want to play on Retroarch. (I store my roms on device. Using the Files app, then on my iphone and save the folder on your phone first. We move it to where it needs to go in the next step.). My folder is named “Retroarch Roms”. It can be really helpful to stay organized. Especially if you also use the Delta and ppsspp apps. I use the files app to locate this folder. Then I select it and move it. Or you could copy it but be mindful of files sizes and storage space. (I put “copy it” in here for a major reason. If you store all your roms in retroarch. And one day you want to delete and reinstall the app…. Bye bye roms. My library is too big to back up to iCloud. But that might be a good option if it works. I have not tested it.). Then move or paste this folder inside of the Retroarch app folder under downloads. (Files app, on my iphone, scroll down to retroarch – select it, then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch, then scroll down to downloads, select it. Your entire folder or multiple folders can go here.) Then hit the playlist menu (middle navigation button.) and select import content. Then scan directory. Click documents/retroarch, scroll down to downloads, then select scan this directory. Then let it do its thing. I like to leave the app open and on screen so the iphone/ipad doesn’t limit background activity. After it is done you can come back to the playlist menu to look through and launch your games. After you have launched a few games, You can go to Home, history and launch your recently played games from there. There is a favorites tab in the playlist section, but I don’t use it personally.

6.) (UPDATES.) I like to make sure a few things are up to date. So, I hit the home menu at the bottom. Go to online updater. Make sure on demand thumbnails is toggled on. (This will add box art on demand as you scroll through your playlist/library.) Then just below that update core files and all the others below it. Update all of them. Then scroll back up to playlist thumbnail updater (This is how you download box art manually for each playlist/library.) and select any system libraries/playlists that are missing album art. If it is your first time, I would just select them all to make sure box art is there when you browse your library. If you want some free to use roms go to content downloader and some homebrew and other roms are in there for each system.

(PSA.2) After you are done changing any settings. Do not just close the app. Make sure you save the configuration file like I mentioned at the start of this post. If not, the settings you changed will be “forgotten” but the roms and album art should still be there. Man, I wish someone told me that before I wasted my life 3 times in a row.

7.) (PS1) Firmware for ps1. To run games correctly you will need firmware for the ps1. PSX rearmed can get you started and playing but the “beetle psx hw” core for ps1 has an upscaling capability. This will make games look tremendously better. Firmware location. After a quick search on the interwebs, you have what you need. (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and which are required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) Use your files app. Go to on my iPhone. Find the Retroarch app folder. Click the folder in there named retroarch. Scroll down to system and dump the bios files there. I can’t say where to get them, but “psx bios” should be easy to find in an archive if you search the googles. Make sure the spelling matches specifically. You can look in settings. Scroll down to directory. And you can scroll through where the app is currently looking for bios and you can change that if you need to. You can also go to settings, select core, manage cores, then scroll to the core you are looking for, then select the core. Scroll down to firmware section and select the “looking in” option to see where it wants the bios. It will tell you if any bios are missing as well. This can apply to any core. Not just ps1 cores.

8.) (SEGA SATURN.). Make sure all the Saturn bios are in the system folder inside the Retroarch folder (Look at the other bullet points on this post to see how. Some games will not launch unless the core has the correct bios. ). Roms. After extracting a rom, it should be a folder full of bin files. Put that whole folder (For each game/rom) in a Saturn roms sub folder. (Make a new folder called “Saturn Roms”.) Using the files app, go to on my iphone, go to the retroarch folder, then the retroarch sub folder. Then scroll down and select downloads. This is where you want to store the Saturn Roms folder. When you import content into retroarch. It will scan the folders and subfolders that have all the bin files. Games will appear as one in the playlist/library.

8.) (FAST VIDEO OR AUDiO) Sync issues. I turned on audio sync and it ran sonic super fast. Other people have had the opposite problem and need to turn it on. The same goes for video sync. The fixes are different depending on the device. Go to settings, video, synchronization, and adjust. You can change the refresh rate in the settings, video, output, vertical refresh rate in this section. This should only be adjusted if you are having issues. Audio sync is under settings, audio, synchronization. It says recommended to turn on. Mine goes crazy if I toggle that on. So I leave it off.

9.) (CORE OPTIONS.) Some systems have multiple cores available. I change them out on the fly by hitting playlist in the navigation menu (Middle option.) Scrolling down to the system I want to play. Then selecting the game, I am looking for. (Do not select run yet.) Then scrolling down and selecting set core association. If you want to use the same core for an entire playlist/library. You can go to settings. Playlists, manage playlists, then select the system you want to set a core for, scroll down to default core, and you can pick the one that works best for your needs.

(DIRECT LINK.) Below is a direct link to the app on the app store for those that have trouble finding it.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/retroarch/id6499539433

I'm 16, F. So I fell behind on school work. I wasn't getting home until 9:30 and I would come home exhausted. I did what I could at night, but I missed some assignments and fell behind. When my mom asked me why two big assignments were missing I lied and said I did them. I kept this lie going for a week.
She found out and I admitted that I lied. I said I was sorry and I explained the actual situation. I was overwhelmed with schoolwork and fell behind and she would yell at me if she knew I was actually missing the assignments, so I lied about it. She threatened to come to my school and pick me up. She said my lying was me emotionally abusing her. She DOUBLED DOWN on this when I asked what she meant by it. She yelled at me for a full hour about how I lied to her and she wants to 'send me away' or 'get professional help'. She said that I wasn't getting my drivers license because she 'wouldn't know if I would tell the truth if I got into a crash'. Every single time she would make one of these claims and I asked her to elaborate she would just go "I don't know!" When she dramatically yelled "WHY WOULD YOU LIE? WHY DO YOU WANT TO HURT ME?" and I told her why she said my excuse wan't good enough. I said that my actions weren't an attack on her and she dismissed it and said I was like out to get her or something.
She has taken away my phone and won't allow me to have my computer in my bedroom. I don't really care about that. I care about the fact she said I was emotionally abusing her.

Cross post. I've been a teacher for 25 years, 20 of which have been at my current school. The unbearable classroom heat makes me constantly hypo as it makes insulin much more effective, but unpredictably so. I even make them put into writing at my annual review that the heat and lack of ventilation makes me ill. It results in me hypoing all day (emergency low blood sugar) and becoming exhausted.
Last Tuesday was terrifying. The heat caused a prolonged hypo and I was so incredibly low. The idiom '4 on the floor' is appropriate here. Most diabetics will have a blood sugar around 7. Non diabetics around 5. My blood sugar was 1. Pupils were about to leave at 3.30. I couldn't see due to double vision. I was sweating profusely and shaking like a pooping dog. Most importantly, I couldn't think straight. No chance. I had zero coordination and kept falling over.
My lovely cleaner came in and recognised the signs as she has a type 1 son. She knew I was BAD. In 16 ish years, I've never experienced such an event. I've never passed out. That was about to change...
My cleaner grabbed SLT member whom knew I'd never been as bad as this. I've been a single parent for 20 years and have a son studying medicine (important later) at uni and a daughter waiting to start uni in September. She was not due home on Tuesday. She found me passed out cold in bed.
My daughter called for an ambulance and was told the wait would be around 3 hrs. My son has nearly qualified as a doctor and told her to bundle me into the car and drive 5 mins to the hospital.
I have near zero recollection as I kept passing out in the resuss unit. But even after stacks of IV and oral glucose, my sugar stayed at 1. It took HOURS to reach a safe level. It was around 430 am when we left and (as I didn't have my phone), my daughter emailed my head teacher informing him what happened and that I wouldn't be in that day. I took one day off (many will understand that staying off is usually more problematic than it's worth) and I returned to work on Thursday. Apon my return, I expected from SLT understanding, empathy and a way of moving forward. Silly, silly me.
This is what happened and what I'm struggling with.

• My head teacher was p155ed and blamed me. Bear in mind, nothing like this has ever happened, despite consistent lows brought on by a classroom with a temp of over 40 degrees.
• Blame was shifted entirely onto me, I take my condition extremely seriously and blood test at least 20 times a day. I was berated and humiliated.
• I have an incredibly challenging year 3/4 class.
• I was told that I'd been given the most challenging children as I have 'a way with SEND pupils' and I would have in-class support. This support never materialised. It's been the most challenging year of my career.
• This year, I have become full-time for the first time in years due to cost of living crisis. I was questioned by Head whether I should be FT or whether I should be teaching at all. For a one off that I've warned them about! 25 years in! Head said 'I'm willing to let it carry on for now.' it's a protected disability. Can they do that?
• Zero compassion was shown for me only being here still because my daughter came home unexpectedly. I'd be d**d, in a coma or severly brain damaged if she hadn't. How can they be so cold? I'm genuinely good at my job. -I contacted my union on Saturday. I'm actually the union rep. I've not heard from them, as yet....

I'd love some advice - how to proceed to never experience this again, how to regain some confidence, and how I stand legally. Even if your advice is hard to hear, a harsh truth is preferable to a placating half truth.
Thank you so, so much in advance.

Hopefully this isn’t downvoted instantly, because I know people seem to get strangely very defensive about Beast’s characterization in this run. I think there is a lot of miscommunication whenever a Beast fan complains about how he was depicted here. Often times people will discount those complaints because they think Beast fans just don’t want him to go bad, when that doesn’t really seem to be the whole truth from what I’ve seen. Ultimately, the complaints I raise and I have seen others raise are more about thinking the writing of his spiral in X-Force 2019 was not done well rather than that said spiral shouldn’t have happened at all. With the Krakoa era coming to an end, and “From the Ashes” having the now-rebooted Beast who is pulled all the way from his time on The Defenders, I don’t see any of the flaws here being addressed beyond characters casually referring to how bad he became. So I wanted to take this time in the in-between, where our new Beast is apparently just chilling on Wonder Man’s couch while the rest of the X-Men fight against Orchis and Nimrod, to once and for all lay out the flaws of Beast’s villainous era, and establish not that it shouldn’t have happened, but that it could have been way better.
Problem 1: A Lack of Pathos:
Most X-Men fans who have been reading for awhile will agree that it’s honestly surprising more mutants haven’t gone down a dark path. Their history is one of striving for acceptance, putting their lives on the line for people who would rather see them dead, and being rewarded with not one but multiple genocides on their population. Some of the most interesting stories can actually come from a formally “upstanding” mutant finally deciding enough is enough. When Cyclops went down his “villainous” path, it made a lot of sense. We’d seen him becoming more disenfranchised with the dream for years. We’d seen his trust in Xavier erode time and time again, and so when he decided to stop asking for acceptance and start demanding it, it was hard to blame him. Even as we saw most of his friends turn against him, that didn’t stop people from declaring “Cyclops Was Right,” because his perspective could easily be understood, and he did achieve results. More recently in X-Men ‘97, we saw Rogue go down a dark path in the wake of Genosha being wiped out, including Magneto and Gambit. Again, this was understood, and it was an interesting direction for her character.
This sort of turn would also make a ton of sense for Hank McCoy. Did you know that back towards the start of the original Uncanny X-Men run, Hank was actually the first X-Men we ever saw to leave the team and say that Magneto was right, after he and Bobby were attacked by an angry mob because Hank used his powers to save a young child? Over the years, one of Hank’s most recurring struggles and arcs is self-loathing and eventual acceptance of his condition. Hank has always been at his darkest when he’s trapped in his spiral of self-loathing, but when he comes out the other side, he tends to be one of the most optimistic mutants when it comes to coexistence with humans. He was out making connections and fighting alongside non-mutants before anyone else. Joining the Avengers and Defenders, speaking on behalf of mutant rights before congress, dating human women who were able to accept his appearance, blue fur and all. Until they weren’t… looking at you, Trish Tilby.
So with all of this in mind, it would honestly be an extremely interesting arc to see Hank, this optimistic mutant who has spent his life building bridges and making connections with humanity, to be slowly beaten down and start to believe peace is not an option. As one of the original X-Men, he has been there through every tragedy that struck the mutant population. And as one of the smartest X-Men, he has usually been at the center of these crises. He has seen advancements in science meant to eradicate the mutants. He has fought against viruses that threaten to drive them extinct. He was there in the wreckage of Genosha. He has seen countless friends killed again and again. He has suffered his own mutation evolving and making him less and less human-looking. He saw the development of a mutant “cure” and was tempted to take it. He has seen it all.
And so that brings us to Krakoa. This is the moment where the mutants as a whole decided enough was enough. If they could not be accepted by humanity, they would pack up and form their own nation, and they would force humanity to accept that they exist by developing life-saving drugs that other nations would have to rely on. And what is one of the first things that happens after the establishment of Krakoa? Hank witnesses assassins infiltrate the island and assassinate Charles Xavier. This right here is honestly the perfect setup for Hank to go darker than he has before. Even after literally segregating the mutant population from humanity, like humanity seemed to want, they still decided to come and kill the man at the forefront of the movement. And Hank, recently placed in charge of mutant black-ops, would likely see that all options are on the table.
Unfortunately, Hank’s actual pathos surrounding the decisions he would go on to make is not explored by the book itself. The book has no interest in detailing Hank’s fall from grace as we saw with Cyclops before him. The book just wants us to accept that Hank has already fallen. And in fact, according to the writing, maybe he never had anywhere to fall from. Any time a character in X-Force tries to ask important questions to understand Hank’s thought process, they are cut off. Usually by Wolverine saying “He’s always been like this.” And then on one occasion, when Wolverine asked Hank why he was doing all this dark shit, Hank said, “Didn’t you read the script? I’ve always been like this.” There is no attempt to examine Hank as a character. We don’t need to know why Hank makes the decisions he does, because this book wants Hank to be a black and white villain and so that’s what he will be. Why? Because he’s always been like this.
Problem 2: Rapid Escalation:
One of the major defenses people have when it comes to Krakoan Hank is that he has apparently been on the road to his villainous self for over a decade. The X-Force run itself loved to have characters spout a list of Hank’s previous “crimes” without any context involved, as justification for why he was acting the way he did in the current run. The problem is, that context is very important. Because it shows the disparity in the Hank of previous stories who made mistakes with good intentions vs the Hank of X-Force who did heinous shit because he wanted to. This was less a plane making a slow descent and more a plane that was slowly descending, but then its engines shut off and it plummeted into a fiery explosion.
To make this case, we need to briefly analyze the previous perceived transgressions of Hank McCoy to show what they actually meant for his character and how they differ from the Bond villain X-Force would present us with. Let’s start with Threnody. Somehow, Threnody became a bit of a buzzword for the beginning of the end for Hank. When people talk about the history of Hank and Threnody, they will usually present it as one of Hank’s worst sins, saying something like “Hank callously handed Threnody over to Mr. Sinister so he could experiment on and abuse her!!!” It kind of makes for some whiplash when you actually read the Threnody story people are talking about. Here is a brief rundown of what actually happens:
Threnody is a young woman who cannot control her powers. It causes her no end of grief, and when we are introduced to her, she is homeless and constantly in danger of hurting herself or others. Beast, Rogue, and Iceman come across Threnody who has been found first by Mr. Sinister. Sinister actually has a vested interest in curing the Legacy Virus, and believes he can help Threnody master her powers, at which point she will prove vital in his efforts to study said Virus. Notably, Threnody wants to go with Sinister here. While Rogue disapproves, Hank does believe that Sinister is actually Threnody’s best option, openly stating Sinister can actually help her gain control and the X-Men cannot, because, as Hank directly says, Sinister is willing to damn parts of his soul in pursuit of scientific enlightenment, and the X-Men are not. A few issues later, when breaking into Sinister’s base, Hank encounters Threnody again. She’s happy. Sinister did indeed help her control her powers, and she has been able to use her abilities to help mutants the world over, while also undermining Sinister’s more evil operations from the inside. Hank expresses relief, saying he was kept up at night by his decision to let her go with Sinister, but Threnody actually thanks him for letting her. And that’s it. That’s Hank’s big “crime” here.
Hank’s other “sins” are also of varying levels of severity. There’s the time “Hank worked with his evil self to cure the Legacy Virus!” when the actual story in question is Hank asserting that he won’t stoop to the levels of Dark Beast and compromise his values in the name of science. There’s the time “Hank sided with the Inhumans against the X-Men!” when the actual story is Storm sending Hank to Attilan to find a way to end the conflict between mutants and inhumans before war broke out. Hank runs out of time to find a cure for the terrigen mist cloud, suggests mutants get off-world in the meantime rather than go to war with the inhumans, is thrown into a cell by the other X-Men for his “betrayal”, and then freed at the conclusion of the war by a repentant Storm when it comes to light that the whole conflict was manipulated by Emma Frost. There’s the time “Hank risked the timestream by bringing the original X-Men to the present day!” A decision that was made on his perceived deathbed with the hopes of bringing his old friend Cyclops back to his side. Hank wants to take the young mutants back right away, but they refuse. And instead of others enforcing that they need to return, we actually see Kitty Pride decide to lead them in the present in memory of Charles Xavier. Notably, Kitty would be one of the many mutants in future issues who would yell at Hank about this.
The point of this post isn’t to absolve Hank of all fault. He has made countless mistakes and bad decisions. Regardless of the culpability of others, the pulling of the O5 to the present was his decision. During Secret Empire, Hank would turn a blind eye to Hydra’s activity simply to keep the mutants under his care safe. During all of this, however, Hank’s character was not compromised. He expressed despair and regret over his worse choices, and struggled with thinking he was a good person any longer. Again, going back to his recurring struggle with self-loathing. He had pathos behind his decisions and how they affected him, and would often reunite with Wonder Man as an opportunity to recenter and declare he would “be better tomorrow than he was yesterday.”
You would think, if the aim of X-Force was to turn Hank into a full-on villain, it would take advantage of the long-form storytelling of comics to chronicle that escalation. Like I said, the assassination of Charles Xavier is a great starting point for Hank to start going darker than he ever has before. The problem is, we don’t get an escalation. Hank starts the run by doing some of the most heinous shit imaginable. Regardless of your thoughts on the severity of Hank’s previous mistakes, none of them compare to his opening volley in this run. Hank uses telefloronics to override and genocide an entire country, leaving various people either completely dead or braindead. We later find out that during this time he also established a space station where he ran unethical experiments on prisoners like Krakoa’s very own Dr. Mengele. He then accuses his old ally Colossus of conspiring with Russia against Krakoa, and calls forth the mutant population to witness as he parades a shamed Colossus through its streets. Then he kills Wolverine and resurrects him as a mindless animal who he uses as an attack dog against his perceived enemies. This isn’t an escalation, this is a different character. And the aforementioned lack of pathos means that we don’t get to see him struggle with these choices. We don’t see his thought process as he becomes darker and darker. Why would we? “He’s always been like this.”
Problem 3: No Personality:
One of the most fun aspects of turning a protagonist into an antagonist is seeing how their personality works with a more villainous mindset. When Cyclops became an “antagonist” to the X-Men, he was still Cyclops. He stuck to his convictions, he was a great leader and tactician, and he was able to turn many mutants to his side because of this. We’ve seen an evil Beast before. The creatively-named Dark Beast is from an alternate future where Beast went down a dark path lacking ethics. The fun of this character, besides comparing his ideologies with our Hank McCoy, is seeing how Hank’s penchant for jokes or quotes now become far more sinister and cutting.
There’s a strange narrative that the jokey Hank is reserved for the Avengers while the Hank with the X-Men is all business and science. This isn’t entirely true. Early on when he was a member of the Defenders, Hank talks about this sort of thing. He essentially says that he wears different hats. While working with the X-Men, he used big words essentially to gain respect from both his teammates and humanity. But with other teams, and in his then-new furry form, he dropped all of that. His speech became more naturalistic and he was much more of a goofball. The thing is, it’s the speech patterns that truly change depending on who Hank is hanging with, not his personality. Hank with the X-Men and Hank with the Avengers are both jovial characters who like to tell jokes and quote philosophy. You can see Hank being a bit of a clown among the X-Men in various runs. So it’s not like it’s a given that Hank is some entirely different dry doctor devoid of any sense of humor when among the X-Men.
But this is how Hank is portrayed in X-Force. Part of why this version of Hank is so hard to reconcile with the rest of his history for fans of the character is that he just doesn’t act like himself, even when he isn’t actively committing war crimes. In one early issue of the run, we get a glimpse at Beast’s journal where he accounts a meeting he had with Forge. Now, Beast has been known to be a very physical character. He is often known to sweep others into a hug, or even plant a big kiss on their face in the case of characters like Wonder Man or Iceman. Meanwhile this one page where we read his thoughts on Forge is clearly pretending this is not the case:

I paid Forge a visit in the Armory – and I must say that he can be, like Logan, rather impossible. There is a certain locker room bravado about him I find perplexing, like a language I only half understand. For instance, he refused to shake my hand but instead dragged me into what he called a “bro hug.” Then he challenged me to a “feat of strength,” asking if I would test out this sappy “muck bomb” he had developed that – or so I gather – glues one in place. He wondered if a “big boy” like me might be able to thrash free of the binding. I refused him and said I very much would prefer to get down to business. He then referred to me as a “bookish peckerwood @#$%” but did so with a friendly laugh and clapped me on the shoulder hard enough to make me stagger. I’m not sure how to process this, honestly. Is he being friendly or cruel? Is it possible to be both?

Needless to say, this doesn’t read like Beast. It reads like an android that has never before felt human emotion. I remember before reading this I was theorizing that Hank had been switched with Dark Beast once more to explain his sudden escalation, but after this I realized that couldn’t be the case. Because this sounds like neither Beast nor Dark Beast. Dark Beast understood how to properly write Hank as a villain. He doesn’t suddenly become your typical made scientist devoid of emotion, humor, or basic human understanding. He still makes jokes that are now cruel. He still quotes literature in a way that paints him as a god among men. Hank going bad can be a fun read, but this run was not.
Problem 4: No One Cares:
Another important angle to consider when writing a story of a good person breaking bad is how it affects those around them. Those who are close friends to the person and find themselves disturbed by their current actions. Again, I return to Cyclops. Regardless of where you stand on if he was right or not, he was very much positioned as an antagonist to the mutants at the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning. Yet we see various friends of Cyclops still caring for him and wanting to pull him back from what they perceive as the dark side. Like I previously said, Beast’s whole reason for messing with the timeline was because he felt he was going to die and wanted to try to appeal to his old friend and bring him back around before he passed on. When someone good goes bad, part of the emotional core is seeing former friends try to appeal to their better nature, and even eventually deciding they’ve gone too far to turn back.
Not so with Hank in X-Force. Like I said, this run posits that this is not any kind of heel turn for Hank. This is how he’s always been. “Hank this isn’t you!” “No, he’s always been like this.” “Hank, turn back before it’s too late!” “Turn back where? He’s always been like this.” None of Hank’s friends give a shit. Hank’s best friend amongst the X-Men is Bobby Drake, Iceman, and we never once see any kind of confrontation there. Cyclops and Angel similarly doesn’t care. Now you could argue this is because X-Force is a secretive organization. Bobby and Scott don’t even know what Hank is doing. There are two issues with this. First, things reach a point where they would know. Hank’s actions become public knowledge, and Wolverine goes off to hunt him down while the rest of the X-Men just kinda look the other way. And second, there is someone with a lot of history with Hank that was a part of X-Force and did see everything that was going on. Jean Grey.
But we never get to see Jean wonder what’s happened to her close friend. Jean who was always incredibly close to Hank. Jean who, it was confirmed during the All-New X-Men era, had mutual feelings for Hank and might have started dating him had things been different. But no, Jean, like every character in this run, accepts that Hank has always been like this. That’s the answer to everything. So instead of some kind of emotional confrontation where she tries to appeal to his better nature, we instead have Jean yell at Hank, use her powers to throw him against a wall, and quit X-Force. And then most recently, we see her tell Firestar without hesitation to throw Hank under the bus for any heat that comes her way from her undercover mission. Because everyone will believe Hank is responsible for all the bad shit. Who the hell cares about Hank? According to this run, no one.
Conclusion:
I hope you can see the larger issue here. When Beast fans complain about his Krakoan era, people assume they just don’t want to see their favorite do bad things. But it’s practically accepted at this point in comics that most heroes will have a villain arc. Hell, Iceman is the only one of the original five X-Men who hasn’t gone down a dark path at this point. The problem is that everything about the writing of Hank during this time was just not done well. There is no exploration of Hank’s descent into villainy, and any questioning down that line is immediately shut down by the assertion that this is just who he’s always been. There isn’t any slow escalation because his first move is genocide. Hank is not even written as himself during this era, but rather as a generic bond villain. And none of Hank’s former close friends even show any emotion about his turn to villainy. An evil Hank story could easily work. We saw it with Dark Beast. A story where the former optimistic member of the X-Men has been beaten down so many times that he takes on a “whatever it takes” mentality could be interesting and emotionally resonant as we both understand what drove him here yet hate the man he’s become. But that isn’t what we got. We got a run that wrote him as a complete stranger and then had all the characters tell the reader that they were wrong for ever thinking he was anyone else.