Sweet love text messages to send to your boyfriend

You didn't want to admit it back then, and you gaslighted me into believing you. You were always in need of other men's validation and attention. Was my affection not enough for you? Were all the things I did for you was just to make you feel good? I should've ended it way sooner, but you never saw how much my love for you blinded me.
Sorry guys just needed a place to rant since obviously i cant send a message like this to her lmao. im just fuming thinking how she kept breadcrumbing me and then blindsided me. me, as stupid as i was back then, kept texting her occasionally after some period of no contact, but this was the final straw for me. finally realizing that she was just using me as a way to validate while shes TALKING to another guy. well i guess shes that guy's problem now and if they do get together i wont wish them well or wish them bad either. i really just dont fucking care anymore lol.

First off this happened with my ex and I’m doing extremely better with my new girlfriend. I just wanted to make this post cause I still feel guilty about how I made my ex feel even though everyone tells me I was in the right. I still feel guilty because people close to me are obviously biased so I wanted unbiased opinions.
I(M23) met my Ex(F27) when I was 19 and she was 23. The circumstances for how we got together are a little strange long story short her uncle dated my mom but was a shitty person and was eventually kicked out, but my mom stayed in contact with there family. So when she arrived in the US( they’re from Mexico) and said she hated her job, living situation, life my mom asked her if she wanted to stay with her. Now I wasn’t stoked at first but when I first saw her I instantly fell in love I didn’t even notice the pig poo smell( worked at a farm) she had. Then again I had taken a shroom earlier that day and had taken an edible half an hour before she got there. We got along pretty well from the beginning we both loved anime in particular studio ghibli movies. Plus we were both emotionally bad I had problems at home and with my overindulgence of substances, she was in a new country with no family or friends to rely on and it was her first time away from her family. There was an obvious connection and we both knew it tension kept building up until I kissed her and kept kissing her for a whole hour. But afterwards she said that although she did have feelings for me she couldn’t have a relationship with me. Her reasons were “ I’m way older than you” and “you’re mom will hate me and kick me out” which was untrue because our feelings were so obvious my mom noticed and confronted me about it early on. And she said it was sweet to see me finally happy again.( I had been depressed for a while at the time) But even though I protested she made her decision and I said ok, but obviously since we lived together we wouldn’t be able to just be friends. I’m not going to lie I was wrong in what I did next. I kept insisting that we could be in a relationship and we should try at least, we kissed more times and went on dates but nothing more. Until a month in she finally said ok but with some rules. 1: it had to stay secret and no one could know not even my mom 2: if I wanted to be her bf I had to not be jealous at all she had just experienced being free and didn’t want someone controlling her 3: I had to be ok with eventually breaking up because “relationships never last forever”. I said ok and we were officially bf and gf but it didn’t last to long because within the week she broke up with me because of her being way older. I begged and cried and eventually we got back together (I know lame but it was my first serious relationship btw). This pattern repeated when we fought, she would get mad ignore me while I begged and pleaded and even said sorry when it was clearly her fault. In total we broke up like 7-10 times in the first year. When our anniversary was coming up I went all out I bought her a new iPhone 12 took her to downtown Chicago and even got a hotel with a view of the beach and the city . When I went to tell her she said we needed to break up before I could tell her. When I did tell her she did offer to pay half but I was insistent on going. Eventually we compromised and we would plan our breakup after the trip. The only reason we stayed together was because I was always trying to maintain it. We eventually moved in together after a year a bunch of things happened in our first year living together and like before we broke up multiple times. And every time I would always beg her to come back even when I caught her sending flirtatious messages to a coworker(I’m pretty sure she cheated on me with). Now it may seem like it’s pretty cut and dry the answer but here’s where I may be the AH. About 2 years after moving in we both lost our jobs and while she found one I didn’t. Along with this my major depression came back and I’ll be honest I didn’t do much of anything for a whole month I was not supporting her in any way both financially and emotionally or any other way I was just sleeping or feeling horrible. She supported us that whole month working and cleaning and cooking until she got fed up(reasonably) and said I either help or we would be done. So I got up got a job and got help. Honestly after that things were good for a while but they went back to bad eventually. I obviously didn’t have enough money and even new debt( using my credit card to pay for everything) and obviously couldn’t spend as much. This caused major problems but we stayed together for another year until we broke up for real. Quick note the previous time we broke up I warned her that I was tired of playing this game and next time she wanted to break up to be sure because I wasn’t begging or trying to save anything. When she did break up with me I said ok and told her if that’s what she wanted then fine. For the first month after she ignored me even though we lived together then she would stay out till 3 at the bars with her new guy “friends” or just not coming home. And me being me I couldn’t keep my promise and kept trying to get back crying begging but she would shut me down every time. After the first month I moved out but we kept in contact because she “wanted to stay friends”. I went on a couple dates but obviously none led to anything so I would text her trying to get back and she would tell me “we’re only friends we won’t be anything else anymore”. And when I asked if she still loved me she said “like a friend nothing more and she doesn’t love me how I wanted”. This is the same thing she said when I asked one more time to get back together after taking her to Korean bbq. So after that I made up my mind I would get over her. I became distant and didn’t talk as much with her even when I wanted to. Fast forward 6 months after breaking up I met my current gf went on a date and instantly hit it off. I met up one last time to meet my ex and tell her I have a gf and she shouldn’t contact me anymore. After that she would randomly message me things like “IMYSM” and “I’m sad aren’t you”. All this until one day she says she wanted to make out with me because she missed my lips. I got mad and called her saying why didn’t she say this earlier why now. And if she still loved me why didn’t she say so earlier. On top of other things. This was 2 weeks ago we have had 0 contact and she unadded me from everything. While I don’t feel bad because I’m not with her, I do feel I may have moved on quickly and really hurt her especially after our last convo and just overall guilt that I was a bad bf and that I caused our breakup.
TLDR: I was in a relationship for almost 4 years and I feel like I was a bad bf/person
P.S. Hopefully Sam and John read this on the podcast I love hearing it and it brought me laughs throughout this whole ordeal.
P.S.S. There’s a whole lot more but it’s hard to summarize a 4 year relationship into one post.

(French speaker, sorry for the weird wording!)
Let me (19M) explain a bit my social context before diving into the situation. My girlfriend (19F) works with one of my friends from school (18F), and this friend is dating one of my very best friends (19M) who studies at another school. I study literature, my friend studies cinema and we hang out a lot at school. When we hang out outside of it, our partners are always with us (even if it would not be weird, it's just a coincidence imo).
So tonight was the projection on my friend's movie, her whole family was there and I went with her and her boyfriend. I had asked my GF if she wanted to come with, to let me know if she wants us to pick her up and all of that. She never said yes, only that she is going to tell me later. Earlier today, she texts me and says that she can't wait to get home and that her class is terrible. I texted her: "So we'll only see each other tonight then? (My friend) is gonna drop me off at your house." What I got for an answer was: "Yes we're just seeing each other tonight."
20 minutes before my friends come pick me up, she texts me "what time do we leave?" Confused, I say that they're coming to get me in about twenty minutes, and that we also pick her up. She then says that she thinks she's going to stay home tonight, but I can come over after the projection and sleep at her house. No worries, whatever makes you happy! About an hour later, she tells me that she has a bad stomach ache and that she wants to be alone tonight. I'm a bit disappointed, but sometimes these things happen, so it's ok.
Halfway through the projection, I keep receiving texts (maybe 7-8), of her saying hello in different ways. She wants to know if she can come over when I come back from the show. Yes, of course! She then texts me that she's really bored and that she wants to play iMessage games with me. I tell her no, I can't use my phone while watching other peoples' short films, it's impolite. After that, she was really dry and still is. She didn't want to come over anymore, and says that she is pissed off because we couldn't see each other and that it's late.
She says that she thought she told me she could and wanted to come over, but I reread all our texts and she never gives me an answer. Maybe she told me in person, but I really doubt it, considering I would have told my friends right after. Anyway, am I in the wrong here? What should I have or not done?

Okay first off, goes without saying. If you’re like 35, please don’t message me. I’m sure you’re lovely but I’m not interested in that. Also if your post history is filled with loads of sexual stuff, also please don’t message me, sorry lol but that puts me off.
So, now that’s out the way lol. I’m Zoe, I’m 17, live in England. I’m in college, doing history, psychology and English lit. I hate it so much and cannot wait to be done with it. I’m also a gymnast, nearly made it to team GB before but I got injured and lost my chance. Hopefully will get back there this year though 🙏
Gymnastics keeps me pretty busy, I have a lot of two a days and when I’m not training, I’m in the gym but I do try and have a life outside of that. I have two dogs who need a lot of cuddles and walks, I also like to go out a lot. I go clubbing sometimes (yes mr bouncer that ID saying I’m 20 is real I promise) and I go out with friends a lot too.
Looks wise I don’t know how to describe myself, I’m happy to just send pics but I’m like 5’2. Blonde, good shape. I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ I have three tattoos too lol, yes not very legal but one of my friends is a tattoo artist so he did it for me lol.
I don’t know exactly what sorta guy I’m looking for, would prefer someone confident and active I guess, as most of what I do is outside. Also don’t be younger than me please lol. Outside of that I don’t mind.
Also, please say more than hey 🙏 effort is really attractive so please introduce yourself properly! :)

Hey there, pic of me here
I’m looking for someone to talk to every day, someone who craves connection just as much as I do. Note that I would like to text but voice/video chatting is nice too.
I’m employed full time as a retail manager. In the past, I’ve taught elementary school and been a pharmacy technician. I’ve had several jobs in retail before the one I have now. I can actually count on two hands how many jobs I’ve had!
I love makeup, skincare, and fragrance. I used to have a huge collection of everything but I recently went through a purge so I am starting over but it has been fun to have a fresh start!
In my free time, I enjoy shopping. My favorite stores are Ulta Bath and Body Works, Five Below, and Target. I also love the occasional trip to Dollar Tree!
I’m also into video games. I’m still in the process of playing Pokémon Violet even though it was released a year and a half ago. I also collect the cards, play the card game online, play Pokémon Go, and watch the anime from time to time.
It’s important for me to note that I recently made the switch to sobriety for my own health. I still enjoy going out from time to time, I just choose not to drink. I don’t mind if you drink, however.
In the near future (within the next 2-3 years) I would like to settle down and start a family.
Please only message me if you are serious about talking. Send a photo with your message, I tend to overlook the many plain “hey” and “what’s up” messages. I look forward to meeting you!
P.S. I’m a sucker for long hair and tattoos

Hey there, pic of me here
I’m looking for someone to talk to every day, someone who craves connection just as much as I do. Note that I would like to text but voice/video chatting is nice too.
I’m employed full time as a retail manager. In the past, I’ve taught elementary school and been a pharmacy technician. I’ve had several jobs in retail before the one I have now. I can actually count on two hands how many jobs I’ve had!
I love makeup, skincare, and fragrance. I used to have a huge collection of everything but I recently went through a purge so I am starting over but it has been fun to have a fresh start!
In my free time, I enjoy shopping. My favorite stores are Ulta Bath and Body Works, Five Below, and Target. I also love the occasional trip to Dollar Tree!
I’m also into video games. I’m still in the process of playing Pokémon Violet even though it was released a year and a half ago. I also collect the cards, play the card game online, play Pokémon Go, and watch the anime from time to time.
It’s important for me to note that I recently made the switch to sobriety for my own health. I still enjoy going out from time to time, I just choose not to drink. I don’t mind if you drink, however.
In the near future (within the next 2-3 years) I would like to settle down and start a family.
Please only message me if you are serious about talking. Send a photo with your message, I tend to overlook the many plain “hey” and “what’s up” messages. I look forward to meeting you!
P.S. I’m a sucker for long hair and tattoos

I 24m met this guy on Friday at the bar and hes cool, a little odd but pretty much cool. Not to mention he’s xtra fine kinda looks like Aladdin. We talked for hours that night and ended up exchanging info. In our hours if convo it came up that I bake and he asked me to make him cookies. The night ended fine we hugged, and that was the end of it. The next. Day I battled with the decision to make the cookies cause I didn’t want to seem pressed. But i was also curious to see what he would do if I did. I made the cookies around 4 o’clock once they were done, I sent him a picture. He had a super cute response to the cookies and asked me what I was doing that night and asked if I was going back to the bar we had met at the previous night. I told him idk. He told me if i go to let him know, and if I didn’t he was coming to get his cookies anyway . I ended up having plans to go back to the bar since it was one of my uncles birthdays and told him I would let him know when I got there. He hearted that message. I got there around nine. Probably texted him around 930 and told him I was there. He also hearted this message. he showed up maybe an 30-hour later we spent the whole night together chatting and drinking just as before. We did discuss what he wanted and what I wanted. He said he was down to keep hanging out and I was too. The night ended the same with a hug around 1:10am . He texted me around 1:30/45am and said “best cookies of his life”. I told him i was glad he liked him and asked he got home safe. His response was “Si mi amore”. I hearted that message. We didn’t speak on Sunday other than he asked me to send him two songs that I had played the night before. And that message was just the songs nothing else. We didn’t speak on Monday until about 11:30pm when I texted and said how was your day? His response was “I’m still reminiscing about your cookies.” I had fallen asleep and didn’t respond until this morning. My response was I’m glad you like them. I’ll keep you in mind when I make some more. I followed this message up with “what were you up to yesterday” just trying to make casual conversation. I sent this message around noon and there’s been no response. I feel the “yesterday” part may have come off to strong kinda like i was clocking him. But I also feel like its not weird to ask someone what they did yesterday. This happens a lot guy will seem interested and then all of a sudden they are gone. Im starting to think I need to communicate less cause that seems to work better. I have a rule if you don’t respond to my text in 24hrs I don’t speak to you anymore, but I also kinda like him. think I should let this fella go?

Hi! This is going to be a long one/rant and story because I really don’t know who to talk to about this in real life because I’m not in therapy and I’m so embarrassed to be feeling this way knowing I made all the choices to be here and people are already flying in from out of state to come to our wedding. Also I’m diagnosed adhd incase any of yall are wondering what’s wrong with me once I tell you all the decisions I made to get here. I am getting married in three months and have a son who is 15 months old. My now fiance 28m and I 27f met whenever we were thirteen years old in middle school and started a tumultuous up and down / on and off again relationship. We were together all the way up until junior year in high school and we broke up. I come from a broken home and he does not. Looking back I realize how much of me staying with him and trying to keep his attention stemmed from my abandonment issues that I must have had from my own parents. After we broke up he joined a gang in my local hometown and I was still in love with him so I decided to still be involved with him even though I was not in a relationship with him. I ended up losing my virginity to him while we were not together just because I wanted to be with him and we said we were friends with benefits but really I was just in love with him and thought by doing that maybe he would want to be with me again but he didn’t and continued to sleep with other girls and do drugs. I also started doing drugs like Xanax and smoking to fit in with him and be cool. I ended up getting a horrible tattoo because one of the other girls he was also seeing had a bunch of tattoos. I dropped out of my high school college courses and ended up going to jail for marijuana in high school and got kicked out of cheer and softball. I ended up on probation and having to be drug tested for a year. Within that year after being heart broken and realizing nothing I did would make him change into who he was before he got involved in our local gang or make him want to be with me… I ended up enrolling in college and getting accepted to a university where I would move about two hours away from our home town to live on campus and study to be a nurse. While on probation, so I couldn’t really party or anything in college which was good (even though I was never really addicted to anything and it wouldn’t be that hard for me) I wanted to save money for a car so I ended up getting a job at the hooters next to my college and was in college full time and working at hooters. My sister happened to go to that same college before I did and live in that town with her ex bf and they would give me rides to and from work back to campus. Low and behold after about two semesters of me being in college and finally feeling like I was moving on from him, he came back messaging me and telling me he missed me and wanted to be with me again. I was stupid and so excited that I agreed and asked him to come see me at college where he would stay for the weekend and we would have an amazing time. I felt so good about myself doing what I was doing and being able to show my growth. Despite all that he was still able to convince me to leave school and come back to be with him and live with him and go to the college near our hometown and work at the hooters near our hometown. I had already felt like I didn’t want to be a nurse at the time because my sister who was a nurse told me you could never leave the state as a nurse if you get your license there (which she didn’t know at the time that you could) and I knew I didn’t want to stay where I was from and wanted to eventually travel. So I decided to leave and move back with him in his bedroom at his parents house where I would work at the hooters close to our home town and never enroll in the college. He would eventually break up with me while I was at work one day even though I was living with him and since I didn’t have a car he continued to take me back in forth from work and I continued to live with him and continued to be in love with him while he committed to the fact that he didn’t want to be in a relationship but wanted to marry me one day and just wasn’t ready for anything right now and still wanted to have sex with me which I did. From working at hooters I had auditioned for the calendar and ended up being really liked by the photographer and started doing some modeling from that which was super exciting for me because I always was interested in that and the pictures we took would blow up and I started getting well known in my area for modeling even though they were just pictures and I wasn’t making any money off of it. Eventually a guy came into hooters telling me about working as an exotic dancer and how much they could make and I still needed a car really badly and was desperate to get out of my ex’s (now fiance) house. So I told him I would be waitressing and that I heard the waitresses make good money there and asked him to give me a ride there one day and so he started giving me a ride everyday. The money was so good to me and the most money I had ever seen. I ended up staying in a hotel closer to the club I worked at and sometimes he would come stay with me and I would just uber to work. Eventually I had gotten a car which I was so happy about. A couple of weeks after I got a car I ended up getting sucked into human trafficking with a friend where I would live in a house with multiple girls for 6 months and go to work at the club every day of the week except Saturday and Sundays. I wasn’t doing anything extra just dancing but the money was going to some random guy. It’s crazy I know. I was stupid and young and my family were not concerned for me at all or involved in my life. unfortunately my friend is just now leaving that situation. I got out without anything no car or nothing and had nowhere to go so back to my exes I went where I decided I was going to buy a cash car again and I worked everyday like I was used to saved money and got a car. Moved to my sisters and stayed with her for a little where i decided I didn’t want to dance anymore and I got a job as a bottle service girl and then waitressing at another waitress. I continued modeling because it made me happy and I never told anyone the truth about the deep things that were happening in my life except for my now fiance. So nobody had no idea about me dancing or the human trafficking or anything. Everyone just knew I modeled. I ended up getting an apartment with some friends and One day I got the urge to go to California randomly and at my waitressing job I was handed $800 and I took it as a sign and booked a flight the next day. Where I went by myself my first time ever on a flight with no plans at all. The day I got there I got asked to be in a commercial two days later. My roommate and her friends flew out there to get me and she ended up being able to be in the commercial with me which ended up on tbs but I had to go back home to my apartment and responsibilities and couldn’t leave my roommate stranded. Even though months later we would end up getting in an argument and I’d move out and move back with my ex (now fiance) where I would continue to work and model (for free) and went back to the club to dance and then my sister ended up going to California for a travel nursing assignment and her and her bf broke up and she asked me to move with her. I had nothing else here, my ex was still saying he didn’t want to be in a relationship, he was consistently sleeping with other girls while we lived together and expected relationship things from me. I was paying for everything for him. I paid for him while he was in school for audio engineer, his gas, lunch, school clothes, shopping, I helped him open his own studio and bought his equipment and Mac for it, even though his parents were very involved in his life. I got all his family bday gifts and Christmas gifts every year. He was honestly just using me but I was so in love and blind. He encouraged me to go to California too so I had nothing else there for me, if he had told me to stay and he wanted to be with me I would’ve. I flew out on my 21st birthday and met my sister and Vegas where we would have such a great time and my ex spent that day hanging out with a girl that tried to fight me and didn’t even tell me happy birthday, I was crying in the bathroom in Vegas until my sister shook me and told me to get it together we’re in Vegas. I was so heart broken to be leaving him but he didn’t care. I got to LA and I instantly started modeling on day one I booked a photo shoot where I met a guy that reminded me of my ex (I know) but we instantly clicked and he was 7 years older than me. We ended up talking for a little bit and pursuing something even though I wasn’t ready emotionally but he didn’t really care and I was kind of star struck a little because he was a music producer for a very famous musician and he was very persistent but that’s another story. I ended up booking a music video as a main girl for my ex’s (now fiance) favorite artist. When it came out it was crazy because I felt like the universe and God was just blessing me for leaving that situation and I knew he would see it because he was so obsessed with that artist and it shook up the whole small town I was from. After that I booked a lot of cool jobs like Sephora and worked with a lot of companies, and did some music videos for other super famous artists, and walked in fashion shows and modeled for clothing brands etc. I was working all the time as an extra to pay my bills and I was meeting cool people. I was always getting invited to celebrities parties and just having such a fun time. I decided to start getting into acting instead and started going to acting school where a lot of well known celebrities also went to and I started having meetings with very popular directors and I was being mentored by famous directors and another person that created an tv entertainment channel that I won’t say here also mentored me a lot and got me a lot of meetings with these people and would go to dinners and stuff etc with a list celebrities. I truly was living the life. And coming from where I can it was almost a dream. I had gotten in a relationship my first year there with that other guy I mentioned who ended up being super possessive of me but he treated me like a queen in the sense of paying for everything, giving me a safe space to tell my feelings, open up, the sex was amazing, he would take me on trips, took me out of the country for the first time. We ended up not working out due to lifestyle differences and just being at two different places and wanting different things. He wanted to move out of the country and have a farm and I wasn’t ready to do that as I wanted to focus on my career. (But I would die to move out of the country on a farm now ironically and he is doing just that now like he said he would haha) anyway, I ended up having my own studio apartment by myself that I loved so much and was so proud of. My sister had moved to Montana and it took a lot for me to get my apartment like staying in a house with other girls for a little to sleeping in my car and at a spa for a couple days. When I would fly home or drive home to see my family I would always see my ex, everytime. We kept a friendship and sometimes I would still help him out if needed, he was interning at a church through his school for audio engineering and recording people at his studio in our hometown. By this time I was going to New York and Miami also sometimes and doing work there. I wasn’t as stressed about bills anymore. I was seeing guys every now and then but not at all interested in a relationship, my heart was still healing from the past and both my exes but mainly my first (now fiance). I was super focused on my career and optimistic, I was used to the grind and in no way ever thinking of quitting. It just wasn’t an option because I knew I would make it wherever that would be because to me that is all I had for me and all I ever knew I wanted and the only thing that saved me. Skip to around October 2019 I had found out about a girl my ex was seeing and it crushed me. He was doing with her just like he was with me though. Just “friends with benefits” I was living in my apartment in LA still and my uncle that helped raise me was getting really sick back home and put on hospice so I decided to take a trip back to see him. I would go to restaurants in my state and near my home town and people would ask to take pictures with me, and at the little ceasars drive through someone asked if I was me and stuff it was crazy because I hadn’t been home in awhile and I felt like what I was doing was finally paying off and people were recognizing me. It was surreal. I ended up going to see my ex. I had such a fear of losing him to this other girl for some reason. I was so scared he would get her pregnant or get in a serious relationship since I was gone so far away and I would never be with him, I would end up sleeping with him again and the girl found out and drove by his house mad and cussing me out and throwing stuff at me. We ended up getting in a fight which is so embarrassing and beneath me. I ended up crying to him that I wanted to be with him and don’t know why he never wanted to be with me which at this time he honestly was not even in my playing field anymore. He told me if I wanted to be with him I had to move back to my hometown.. my heart dropped to my stomach and I knew it wasn’t what I was supposed to do but I said okay… all because this is what I had wanted all those years. I decided to stay where the next two years all I would think about everyday was I was making the wrong decision and needed to go back to my life. My hometown had nothing for me.. COVID hit a couple months after me being there and we were terrified. We ended up getting everything out of my apartment and moving into a house around the corner from his parents. I had to tell him how I liked to communicate now without yelling and stuff which I learned from the boyfriend I had in LA and that I wasn’t going to put up with that disrespect but he never listened. Eventually everything went back to normal. I ended up going back to the club again dancing because I didn’t want to go backward and model here. He never wanted me to go back to LA even for a little bit even though that’s where my career and heart was so I had no idea what to do with my life. I started waitressing as well and getting back on my adhd meds. People started pressuring us to get pregnant and we tried for a year and 6 months. The month I found out I was pregnant before I knew, I quit my job and decided I was going to move back and get my life back. Two days later I found out I was pregnant…. Finally after trying for over a year. Our relationship was toxic just like the past he always yelled, I could never talk to him about my feelings without him saying I was trying to fight, he spit in my face once, threatened me, put his hands on me, he would tell me he was going to take my baby away from me as soon as I had it. I started asking him about getting married while I was pregnant and the proposal wasn’t even that. He got mad at me for asking one day and walked in the room and handed me the ring. It didn’t fit because I was pregnant & it was $27 (not that that matters but the proposal sucked).. he drained both my bank accounts and they closed it, charged my credit card up and put me in debt, he has not let me do anything I want to do like school or anything. He is so bad with money. He has an action figure addiction and at one point was spending 3k on action figures every month and turned one of the rooms in our house into a collection room so I had to take everything out of my closet and put my sons crib in there for the first year of his life. we have good times and I feel comfortable with him. He knows everything about me but he doesn’t respect me and sometimes I feel like he is intimidated by me. The sex isn’t good at all we always just ask “do you want to have sex” he never gives oral or foreplay, I never get pleasure. He’s an amazing dad though and loves his son. We have the most sweet and beautiful little boy now who I love so much and he loves him also. He’s very attentive to his son. But I still feel unheard. I can’t talk about my feelings. If I do it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t change anything. He is so defensive and we never communicate for a solution it’s always just pointing fingers. I have started yelling again because I’m so used to it now and I hate it because I grew up like that and I finally grew out of it until I got back with him and recently started again and now he throws it in my face and knows I begged him not to do it forever but he never stopped and now I am too. I’ve asked him to take me to the movies and he hasn’t still. I just ask for more romance and stuff but it just feels like I have a roommate. I have nothing now. I had my car and we traded it in for a new car that he wanted. I always dreamed of the next car I’d get once I paid it off but he got it & it’s in his name now so I paid it off for nothing. I’m driving around his dream car. I’ve been planning our wedding since I birthed our son and everything is going good. Money is tight. He works at the church now full time and makes about 45k a year or so, my son has been waiting to start daycare for awhile so I have been home with him. I’ve tried starting jobs multiple times but he is against it unless it’s super fast money like going to the club which I am so repulsed by and absolutely hate it now. I tried going back to college but my old college won’t release my transcripts for fasfa because I owe them money. I started cosmetology school a few months ago which he was all for but two months in freaked out and him and his mom guilt tripped me that we can’t handle this right now and he was having a hard time doing the night time routine for the baby while I was at school so I had to leave and now owe that’s school for my kit unless I enroll again in 128 days. I also miss modeling so much and sometimes think I can start again but it’s been five years. My body is so different too after a baby. Everything I want is a no go. Especially moving out of our hometown. He says he wants to but I don’t think he does. We are constantly at his moms and dads and they tell us all the time we aren’t moving anywhere which is really hard for me as this place is super toxic for my soul. Anytime I get money he spends it. Anytime I save money he spends it. Even if it does go towards our bills. His action figure habit is almost nonexistent now and he has grown a lot in the past few months from that since I demanded my son have his own bedroom after his first bday and all his figures are in boxes now and told him he could turn the shed into his man cave. He says we can’t save because we have nothing to save after bills but I believe in saving anything even $5 a paycheck. It’s doable. I grew up poor so this is nothing to me but after living the lifestyle I lived in LA and going out with guys that respected me and cherished me it’s hard. I know nobody is perfect but we are about to get married and I’m scared… I have nothing though anymore. I’ve threatened to leave a couple times and he says he will take me to court and take my baby. I’m scared he might. I don’t want my son to be angry like him or not respect women how he does. In public he’s a saint. He also has a very supportive family that it’s almost toxic. They all blame me for his anger issues and say I make him that way. But he’s been punching walls since I met him in 8th grade. I know it’s not because of me. But I have nobody else and nowhere else to go. No money. No car. I’m at the bottom again where I was before. Only difference is now I have a son. And we are getting married in three months and I can’t call it off. I am older now and looking back on my life I realize he maybe truly never loved me and I was just so desperate for love. I got myself here nobody else. I accepted everything, even when my gut told me not to. ( he is not just horrible, he’s a great person just with some bad qualities like everyone but I’m tired of feeling stuck with someone that never truly wanted me and doesn’t care to grow in some ways or show me )
Please help.. what do I do?

Update: Found out my wife did sleep with her coworker and continued an affair a year after I found messages between them, she told me she had cut it off.
Update: https://www.reddit.com/Infidelity/s/4LCWsHckTT
So after I analyzed the photos and messages that I found on the thumb drive. I didn’t need confirmation from her. The messages aline with what she was doing. (There was text about her Vegas trip and she did have one last year in May). Some of the selfies were of her out there and I even received some of them that she sent him. She was even talking about our son to him since he started jiu-jitsu last year and even sent a few photos with him in them. Also, the nudes in there were taken in front of a mirror in our trailer room. We didn’t move into that trailer until January of last year, so that confirms she took them sometime last year between January and May. Some of the messages mentioned google voice, so I guess that’s what they were using to continue the affair. She has asked me what has been wrong since I have been completely avoiding her. Unfortunately, even though she cut it off last July, I cannot forgive her. She continued to lie to my face for another year and made a complete fool of me, reassuring me she stopped and telling me she loved me. I haven’t been ok. I’ve been drinking heavily, even during work to try and numb out the pain I am feeling. I will be packing my things and moving back into my home this weekend while she is visiting her cousin out of town. (We moved into a trailer at her parents house while I rented my house). I’m going to see a lawyer next week and will begin the divorce proceedings. I am going to keep the thumb drive as evidence and will use it to leverage whatever I want or will be sending it to her family (as one of you suggested). There is a huge hole in my heart currently and all I can think is what a waste of my life these last 8 years have been. I also cannot stop thinking about how distraught my son will be with this, I feel guilty but I recognize staying in this relationship, knowing what I know and forgiving her will slowly eat me alive. I will be better fit for him if I am separated and happy, compared to being with his mom and dying from anxiety that she’ll do this again. Thank you all for your advice, even though some of it was hurtful. It has all been helpful in one way or another.

So, a little backstory, my bestfriend (F20) and I (F19) have been friends since we were 15, but it has been a very on and off friendship. We stopped being friends for almost two years when we were 16 for a couple of reasons.

1. because she would only talk about herself and what she was going through but would never check in on me or even ask how I was doing.
   
2. I was trying to recover from self harm issues and she would always facetime me and show me her cuts and ask me how to clean them.
   
3. would say that she wished her boyfriend cheated on her. That way, she could get skinny. (my ex cheated on me, and I developed a serious eating disorder).
   

So, I decided to communicate the issues I was having with her, and it was a BIG issue. It turned into her blaming me for being raped (it was not my fault), and her telling everyone that I was trying to show me ass to her boyfriend. (her boyfriend, her, and I were all on facetime and I was wearing a skirt and you could see a tiny bit of my ass which i was NOT aware of. Once she told me, I immediately turned the mirror over. That way, the problem was solved). So after she blamed me, I figured it was best if we stopped being friends.
Well, after a year and a half of no contact, I figured I would reach out to see how things were going for her. We became friends again and I thought it was going to be different since we were out of high school. Everything was going good for a while, it seemed, up until I moved in with her around 2 months ago (her house was the only place I could go to since my relationship with my mom is unhealthy). I started to really become aware of her drinking problems, which is exactly why I had also moved out of my mom's house. It's not too much of a problem as long as I don't engage because I have a very addictive personality, and alcoholism runs in my family. Well, I started to drink here and there (once every two weeks but very heavily) and told her I DO NOT want to drink anymore. When she would drink, I made it very clear I did not want to, but she would beg for me to at least take a shot. Most days, I am able to stand up for myself and not drink, or I will take the drink just so she won't continuously ask, but I won't drink out of it. Unfortunately, I am not good when it comes to being firm with my decisions and can fall easily when pressured. Well, our mutual friend comes over often and she likes to drink, so when I don't drink, I am singled out by my friend. Now, this isn't her problem, but I've grown up emotionally neglected and singled out, and she knows that. I was trying to think anything of it until I noticed that she started becoming more passive-aggressive with me, calling me names (nasty bitch) and telling me to "shut the fuck up" and "just stop talking" after stuttering on my words. At that point, I was a little bothered since I've been having a hard time living with her family and I had told her I'm still having a hard time adjusting. A week goes by, and she won't even LOOK at me. Her mom had called me into the living room since I was crying, and my friend came downstairs and wouldn't even talk to me. Her mom was telling her to come talk to me since it seemed like I was having a hard day, and well, obviously, she didn't, but her mom and I were confused since I didn't know what I had done. Her mom was telling her to come talk to me since it seemed like I was having a hard day, and well, obviously, she didn't, but her mom and I were confused since I didn't know what I had done.
So fast forward to the day before mothers day, she ends up telling me that she needs to talk to me. She ended up telling me that I can't wear what I want to wear and that it's inappropriate. I wear skirts, fishnets, corsets, etc, but ONLY when I go out. I don't wear that around her house. She told me that it's fine if i wear it going out but just not around her house, so i told her that i was confused since I only wear those clothes when i go out. She started saying how that's fine, but even the clothes I wear around the house is inappropriate because I have everything hanging out since I wear crop tops and booty shorts and that I look like a hoochie mama. Kinda confused me because the "crop top" I wear goes past my belly button and the "booty shorts" I wear cover my butt. I told her I respect what shes saying and that I won't continue to dress that way. She kept asking how I felt and that she didn't want to start problems, and I told her that it didn't matter how I felt since I was living in her house. I asked her who had felt that way and she told me that no one said anything and that shes coming to me about it because she feels uncomfortable with it, but later on, she went on to say how everyone in her family, including her boyfriend, have been saying how they can't look me in the eye or even talk to me. It continuously confused me as I had multiple LONG conversations with her family before I went out while wearing those clothes, and it seemed like there was no issue. Not sure why her boyfriend was telling her anything since we do not speak or look at each other. Her and her family have known how I dressed since we started being friends again and especially before I had moved in, and never mentioned anything. My friend knows that how I dress makes me feel confident, as I have consistently talked about it. She kept mentioning how shes not being insecure, but no one had said she was.
The next day, on Mother Day, I came home, and I felt like anything I wore would be seen as inappropriate, and I just felt uncomfortable all the way around. Well, our mutual friend had came over and she pulled me aside to talk to me. She told me that she doesn't think her family said anything and that she thinks it's just my friend and her boyfriend, since my friend had came to her multiple times about how her boyfriend was saying something about how I dress. My friend also told her that day that she doesn't think she friendship is working out, but was telling me the night before that she loves me and doesn't want to lose me. Our mutual friend was telling her that she shouldn't be so degrading towards me since my mom treats me the same way and that's exactly why I had left. Conveniently, my friend didn't want to continue the conversation after that. I went outside and her family came a few minutes later to ask what was wrong and I was very open with them. They ended up telling me not to listen to her and that it is my home as well and I should feel comfortable too. It's been a week after this situation and we haven't talked to her since. I tried texting her but she never responded so I deleted my message after a day. I just don't really know what to do and I need advice from an outsiders perspective.

I’m an EA for a CEO who’s known to have a high turnover of assistants (found out after I got hired, cool!). My experience is mostly working with smaller companies and even though this one isn’t huge, it’s way more established than the others I’ve had. I’ve made it to 3 yrs and some months (a high accomplishment according to the OGs there) but I’m ready to jump out the window. It’s not the projects, and it’s not the team - I kick ass on them and I absolutely love everyone I work with. It’s just them! As a person! Constantly changing meetings which causes other leaders to completely change their own schedules which causes frustration and low morale. Super last minute flight changes, constant berating, very awful comments, calls and requests at odd hours and weekends and that’s just a bit! I don’t remember the last time I didn’t hear from them for an entire day. I ask for time off and there hasn’t been a week of vacation or a weekend away or a day off where I didn’t get a text or a call. We, as a company, travel a lot and recently they said they’re “independent” and just forfeited my travel but.. I’m up almost 24 hours straight attending to their needs while traveling internationally and then attending to the regular hour duties. Unable to use any apps or any tech appropriately so for example I send a message every morning with their daily calendar (yep, I also handle their regular calendar), or screen shot things like boarding passes. I feel like the help and it doesn’t feel great because on top of being a POC, it doesn’t really make me feel like this is an EA role with some personal work but it’s only PERSONAL work and some EA work. I’m told in my company I’m the one “with the most difficult job here” — I’m just tired of feeling like I’m not part of their team when not only am I the only EA right now so I help anyone and everyone but also for the fact that their meeting attendance has improved by 90% since I joined, but fuck that noise, I guess? On top of that I’m the office manager? Which was never on my scope of work - but hey! Jack of all trades here. No task too big or too small.. I’m just sad. So sad. I’m looking for a way out. I’ve eaten enough shit and it’s like I have bad streak with CEOs. I like my career, I like being helpful. My reviews are always great, I’ve made amazing friends, I just don’t know what it is! I just want to work with someone who will appreciate me and want to succeed together and not pay me pennies.
Thanks for reading…

Hi! This is going to be a long one/rant and story because I really don’t know who to talk to about this in real life because I’m not in therapy and I’m so embarrassed to be feeling this way knowing I made all the choices to be here and people are already flying in from out of state to come to our wedding. Also I’m diagnosed adhd incase any of yall are wondering what’s wrong with me once I tell you all the decisions I made to get here. I am getting married in three months and have a son who is 15 months old. My now fiance 28m and I 27f met whenever we were thirteen years old in middle school and started a tumultuous up and down / on and off again relationship. We were together all the way up until junior year in high school and we broke up. I come from a broken home and he does not. Looking back I realize how much of me staying with him and trying to keep his attention stemmed from my abandonment issues that I must have had from my own parents. After we broke up he joined a gang in my local hometown and I was still in love with him so I decided to still be involved with him even though I was not in a relationship with him. I ended up losing my virginity to him while we were not together just because I wanted to be with him and we said we were friends with benefits but really I was just in love with him and thought by doing that maybe he would want to be with me again but he didn’t and continued to sleep with other girls and do drugs. I also started doing drugs like Xanax and smoking to fit in with him and be cool. I ended up getting a horrible tattoo because one of the other girls he was also seeing had a bunch of tattoos. I dropped out of my high school college courses and ended up going to jail for marijuana in high school and got kicked out of cheer and softball. I ended up on probation and having to be drug tested for a year. Within that year after being heart broken and realizing nothing I did would make him change into who he was before he got involved in our local gang or make him want to be with me… I ended up enrolling in college and getting accepted to a university where I would move about two hours away from our home town to live on campus and study to be a nurse. While on probation, so I couldn’t really party or anything in college which was good (even though I was never really addicted to anything and it wouldn’t be that hard for me) I wanted to save money for a car so I ended up getting a job at the hooters next to my college and was in college full time and working at hooters. My sister happened to go to that same college before I did and live in that town with her ex bf and they would give me rides to and from work back to campus. Low and behold after about two semesters of me being in college and finally feeling like I was moving on from him, he came back messaging me and telling me he missed me and wanted to be with me again. I was stupid and so excited that I agreed and asked him to come see me at college where he would stay for the weekend and we would have an amazing time. I felt so good about myself doing what I was doing and being able to show my growth. Despite all that he was still able to convince me to leave school and come back to be with him and live with him and go to the college near our hometown and work at the hooters near our hometown. I had already felt like I didn’t want to be a nurse at the time because my sister who was a nurse told me you could never leave the state as a nurse if you get your license there (which she didn’t know at the time that you could) and I knew I didn’t want to stay where I was from and wanted to eventually travel. So I decided to leave and move back with him in his bedroom at his parents house where I would work at the hooters close to our home town and never enroll in the college. He would eventually break up with me while I was at work one day even though I was living with him and since I didn’t have a car he continued to take me back in forth from work and I continued to live with him and continued to be in love with him while he committed to the fact that he didn’t want to be in a relationship but wanted to marry me one day and just wasn’t ready for anything right now and still wanted to have sex with me which I did. From working at hooters I had auditioned for the calendar and ended up being really liked by the photographer and started doing some modeling from that which was super exciting for me because I always was interested in that and the pictures we took would blow up and I started getting well known in my area for modeling even though they were just pictures and I wasn’t making any money off of it. Eventually a guy came into hooters telling me about working as an exotic dancer and how much they could make and I still needed a car really badly and was desperate to get out of my ex’s (now fiance) house. So I told him I would be waitressing and that I heard the waitresses make good money there and asked him to give me a ride there one day and so he started giving me a ride everyday. The money was so good to me and the most money I had ever seen. I ended up staying in a hotel closer to the club I worked at and sometimes he would come stay with me and I would just uber to work. Eventually I had gotten a car which I was so happy about. A couple of weeks after I got a car I ended up getting sucked into human trafficking with a friend where I would live in a house with multiple girls for 6 months and go to work at the club every day of the week except Saturday and Sundays. I wasn’t doing anything extra just dancing but the money was going to some random guy. It’s crazy I know. I was stupid and young and my family were not concerned for me at all or involved in my life. unfortunately my friend is just now leaving that situation. I got out without anything no car or nothing and had nowhere to go so back to my exes I went where I decided I was going to buy a cash car again and I worked everyday like I was used to saved money and got a car. Moved to my sisters and stayed with her for a little where i decided I didn’t want to dance anymore and I got a job as a bottle service girl and then waitressing at another waitress. I continued modeling because it made me happy and I never told anyone the truth about the deep things that were happening in my life except for my now fiance. So nobody had no idea about me dancing or the human trafficking or anything. Everyone just knew I modeled. I ended up getting an apartment with some friends and One day I got the urge to go to California randomly and at my waitressing job I was handed $800 and I took it as a sign and booked a flight the next day. Where I went by myself my first time ever on a flight with no plans at all. The day I got there I got asked to be in a commercial two days later. My roommate and her friends flew out there to get me and she ended up being able to be in the commercial with me which ended up on tbs but I had to go back home to my apartment and responsibilities and couldn’t leave my roommate stranded. Even though months later we would end up getting in an argument and I’d move out and move back with my ex (now fiance) where I would continue to work and model (for free) and went back to the club to dance and then my sister ended up going to California for a travel nursing assignment and her and her bf broke up and she asked me to move with her. I had nothing else here, my ex was still saying he didn’t want to be in a relationship, he was consistently sleeping with other girls while we lived together and expected relationship things from me. I was paying for everything for him. I paid for him while he was in school for audio engineer, his gas, lunch, school clothes, shopping, I helped him open his own studio and bought his equipment and Mac for it, even though his parents were very involved in his life. I got all his family bday gifts and Christmas gifts every year. He was honestly just using me but I was so in love and blind. He encouraged me to go to California too so I had nothing else there for me, if he had told me to stay and he wanted to be with me I would’ve. I flew out on my 21st birthday and met my sister and Vegas where we would have such a great time and my ex spent that day hanging out with a girl that tried to fight me and didn’t even tell me happy birthday, I was crying in the bathroom in Vegas until my sister shook me and told me to get it together we’re in Vegas. I was so heart broken to be leaving him but he didn’t care. I got to LA and I instantly started modeling on day one I booked a photo shoot where I met a guy that reminded me of my ex (I know) but we instantly clicked and he was 7 years older than me. We ended up talking for a little bit and pursuing something even though I wasn’t ready emotionally but he didn’t really care and I was kind of star struck a little because he was a music producer for a very famous musician and he was very persistent but that’s another story. I ended up booking a music video as a main girl for my ex’s (now fiance) favorite artist. When it came out it was crazy because I felt like the universe and God was just blessing me for leaving that situation and I knew he would see it because he was so obsessed with that artist and it shook up the whole small town I was from. After that I booked a lot of cool jobs like Sephora and worked with a lot of companies, and did some music videos for other super famous artists, and walked in fashion shows and modeled for clothing brands etc. I was working all the time as an extra to pay my bills and I was meeting cool people. I was always getting invited to celebrities parties and just having such a fun time. I decided to start getting into acting instead and started going to acting school where a lot of well known celebrities also went to and I started having meetings with very popular directors and I was being mentored by famous directors and another person that created an tv entertainment channel that I won’t say here also mentored me a lot and got me a lot of meetings with these people and would go to dinners and stuff etc with a list celebrities. I truly was living the life. And coming from where I can it was almost a dream. I had gotten in a relationship my first year there with that other guy I mentioned who ended up being super possessive of me but he treated me like a queen in the sense of paying for everything, giving me a safe space to tell my feelings, open up, the sex was amazing, he would take me on trips, took me out of the country for the first time. We ended up not working out due to lifestyle differences and just being at two different places and wanting different things. He wanted to move out of the country and have a farm and I wasn’t ready to do that as I wanted to focus on my career. (But I would die to move out of the country on a farm now ironically and he is doing just that now like he said he would haha) anyway, I ended up having my own studio apartment by myself that I loved so much and was so proud of. My sister had moved to Montana and it took a lot for me to get my apartment like staying in a house with other girls for a little to sleeping in my car and at a spa for a couple days. When I would fly home or drive home to see my family I would always see my ex, everytime. We kept a friendship and sometimes I would still help him out if needed, he was interning at a church through his school for audio engineering and recording people at his studio in our hometown. By this time I was going to New York and Miami also sometimes and doing work there. I wasn’t as stressed about bills anymore. I was seeing guys every now and then but not at all interested in a relationship, my heart was still healing from the past and both my exes but mainly my first (now fiance). I was super focused on my career and optimistic, I was used to the grind and in no way ever thinking of quitting. It just wasn’t an option because I knew I would make it wherever that would be because to me that is all I had for me and all I ever knew I wanted and the only thing that saved me. Skip to around October 2019 I had found out about a girl my ex was seeing and it crushed me. He was doing with her just like he was with me though. Just “friends with benefits” I was living in my apartment in LA still and my uncle that helped raise me was getting really sick back home and put on hospice so I decided to take a trip back to see him. I would go to restaurants in my state and near my home town and people would ask to take pictures with me, and at the little ceasars drive through someone asked if I was me and stuff it was crazy because I hadn’t been home in awhile and I felt like what I was doing was finally paying off and people were recognizing me. It was surreal. I ended up going to see my ex. I had such a fear of losing him to this other girl for some reason. I was so scared he would get her pregnant or get in a serious relationship since I was gone so far away and I would never be with him, I would end up sleeping with him again and the girl found out and drove by his house mad and cussing me out and throwing stuff at me. We ended up getting in a fight which is so embarrassing and beneath me. I ended up crying to him that I wanted to be with him and don’t know why he never wanted to be with me which at this time he honestly was not even in my playing field anymore. He told me if I wanted to be with him I had to move back to my hometown.. my heart dropped to my stomach and I knew it wasn’t what I was supposed to do but I said okay… all because this is what I had wanted all those years. I decided to stay where the next two years all I would think about everyday was I was making the wrong decision and needed to go back to my life. My hometown had nothing for me.. COVID hit a couple months after me being there and we were terrified. We ended up getting everything out of my apartment and moving into a house around the corner from his parents. I had to tell him how I liked to communicate now without yelling and stuff which I learned from the boyfriend I had in LA and that I wasn’t going to put up with that disrespect but he never listened. Eventually everything went back to normal. I ended up going back to the club again dancing because I didn’t want to go backward and model here. He never wanted me to go back to LA even for a little bit even though that’s where my career and heart was so I had no idea what to do with my life. I started waitressing as well and getting back on my adhd meds. People started pressuring us to get pregnant and we tried for a year and 6 months. The month I found out I was pregnant before I knew, I quit my job and decided I was going to move back and get my life back. Two days later I found out I was pregnant…. Finally after trying for over a year. Our relationship was toxic just like the past he always yelled, I could never talk to him about my feelings without him saying I was trying to fight, he spit in my face once, threatened me, put his hands on me, he would tell me he was going to take my baby away from me as soon as I had it. I started asking him about getting married while I was pregnant and the proposal wasn’t even that. He got mad at me for asking one day and walked in the room and handed me the ring. It didn’t fit because I was pregnant & it was $27 (not that that matters but the proposal sucked).. he drained both my bank accounts and they closed it, charged my credit card up and put me in debt, he has not let me do anything I want to do like school or anything. He is so bad with money. He has an action figure addiction and at one point was spending 3k on action figures every month and turned one of the rooms in our house into a collection room so I had to take everything out of my closet and put my sons crib in there for the first year of his life. we have good times and I feel comfortable with him. He knows everything about me but he doesn’t respect me and sometimes I feel like he is intimidated by me. The sex isn’t good at all we always just ask “do you want to have sex” he never gives oral or foreplay, I never get pleasure. He’s an amazing dad though and loves his son. We have the most sweet and beautiful little boy now who I love so much and he loves him also. He’s very attentive to his son. But I still feel unheard. I can’t talk about my feelings. If I do it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t change anything. He is so defensive and we never communicate for a solution it’s always just pointing fingers. I have started yelling again because I’m so used to it now and I hate it because I grew up like that and I finally grew out of it until I got back with him and recently started again and now he throws it in my face and knows I begged him not to do it forever but he never stopped and now I am too. I’ve asked him to take me to the movies and he hasn’t still. I just ask for more romance and stuff but it just feels like I have a roommate. I have nothing now. I had my car and we traded it in for a new car that he wanted. I always dreamed of the next car I’d get once I paid it off but he got it & it’s in his name now so I paid it off for nothing. I’m driving around his dream car. I’ve been planning our wedding since I birthed our son and everything is going good. Money is tight. He works at the church now full time and makes about 45k a year or so, my son has been waiting to start daycare for awhile so I have been home with him. I’ve tried starting jobs multiple times but he is against it unless it’s super fast money like going to the club which I am so repulsed by and absolutely hate it now. I tried going back to college but my old college won’t release my transcripts for fasfa because I owe them money. I started cosmetology school a few months ago which he was all for but two months in freaked out and him and his mom guilt tripped me that we can’t handle this right now and he was having a hard time doing the night time routine for the baby while I was at school so I had to leave and now owe that’s school for my kit unless I enroll again in 128 days. I also miss modeling so much and sometimes think I can start again but it’s been five years. My body is so different too after a baby. Everything I want is a no go. Especially moving out of our hometown. He says he wants to but I don’t think he does. We are constantly at his moms and dads and they tell us all the time we aren’t moving anywhere which is really hard for me as this place is super toxic for my soul. Anytime I get money he spends it. Anytime I save money he spends it. Even if it does go towards our bills. His action figure habit is almost nonexistent now and he has grown a lot in the past few months from that since I demanded my son have his own bedroom after his first bday and all his figures are in boxes now and told him he could turn the shed into his man cave. He says we can’t save because we have nothing to save after bills but I believe in saving anything even $5 a paycheck. It’s doable. I grew up poor so this is nothing to me but after living the lifestyle I lived in LA and going out with guys that respected me and cherished me it’s hard. I know nobody is perfect but we are about to get married and I’m scared… I have nothing though anymore. I’ve threatened to leave a couple times and he says he will take me to court and take my baby. I’m scared he might. I don’t want my son to be angry like him or not respect women how he does. In public he’s a saint. He also has a very supportive family that it’s almost toxic. They all blame me for his anger issues and say I make him that way. But he’s been punching walls since I met him in 8th grade. I know it’s not because of me. But I have nobody else and nowhere else to go. No money. No car. I’m at the bottom again where I was before. Only difference is now I have a son. And we are getting married in three months and I can’t call it off. I am older now and looking back on my life I realize he maybe truly never loved me and I was just so desperate for love. I got myself here nobody else. I accepted everything, even when my gut told me not to. ( he is not just horrible, he’s a great person just with some bad qualities like everyone but I’m tired of feeling stuck with someone that never truly wanted me and doesn’t care to grow in some ways or show me )
Please help.. what do I do?

 The necropolis was gorgeous, for what it was. Its white outer walls hiding the darker Victorian Gothic interior. The tech that was hidden in the walls though was able to move bodies in their caskets from a designated place in the necropolis to the "viewing area" as the necropolians called it. This was where I waited for my, for lack of a better term, escort to take me to the mortuary. Since science has grown surprisingly fast our abilities for forensic sciences have also grown, and that's to whom I was headed. (S)He was an, unusual (wo)man to say the least. An expert in their field and about as learned as a doctor, if not multi-doctorate. If you ever asked them why they never pursued an actual doctorate, they would get angry and act all prissy while saying that going to school would've slowed them down and all they needed were the basic certificates for their work. The reality though, revealed to me during a drunken bout, they just never liked school and believed that it ultimately stunted a person's growth and ability to question the reality around them, that everything that you need to learn is already in books and in some form or another in digital content online. They were brilliant, if a little wacky. About five minutes after I had arrived and was sitting down in the viewing area, a little box rolled up to me making a couple of beeps to let me know to follow it and immediately started rolling towards the wall opposite of where it came from. When it looked like it was about to hit the wall, a hidden door opened up by the casket viewer, inside was a set of stairs leading down into the darkness. Stepping through the doorway I became acutely aware of sounds seemingly coming from all around me suddenly. It really is impressive, as though I just stepped from a tomb to a busy workshop, the sounds of gas escaping pistons, whirring, and clanking chains flooded my ears. I continued down the stairs following my helpful little box, which despite its size and shape would suggest was actually quite nimble on the stairs. It seemed to have wheels that would extend down to the next step as the edge rolled over it and once the back of the box was clear of the step it would drop back into its squat position, hiding its wheels as quickly as possible. It continued to do so the entire way. The box seemed to notice me watching it and made a kinda shrill whistle and its undercarriage light went from a comfortable yellow to a, is that... Peach? Is it blushing? My god I think it is! I let out a small chuckle and my little blushing box stopped dead in its tracks mid-step, its light suddenly going white, almost blinding me from behind and lighting up the hallway for a split second. Luckily both of my feet were solidly on a step so I didn't take a tumble or anything, but I couldn't help doing anything but laughing harder. 

After a second the little box crept up behind me and continued down, its status light continuing to show pinkish. I followed it slowly, the chuckle slowly dying in my throat as we reached Ceriths office. Well "office" was being nice. Morgue, mortuary, both of these fit just as well. Cerith was, for the most part, a recluse. We reached the door and the little robot continued through a little hole in the wall. I waited a second and knocked. "Enter!" Came the voice on the other side. I opened the door and stepped through. Along one wall set doors that normally housed the dead waiting to be processed. One out of dozens were open, its occupant missing from its silver slab. The middle of the room was brightly lit from a single overhead light. In the middle of the circle of light stood a figure, long Raven colored hair bound in a single braided ponytail, the rest of them bound in medical examination garb. They seemed to be engrossed in the corpse in front of them. The little robot rolled up next to Ceriths feet and made a little chiming noise. "Thank you Tabitha. That'll be all," said a voice that was neither male nor female from beneath the mask. Just sort of in the middle. "Tabitha? Never knew you to be sentimental," I said gently, the chuckle in my voice making itself clear. "I see you still find even the darkest things funny," Cerith quipped back. "My line of work Cer, you take the laughs where you get them. Look who's talking anyway, you're usually elbows deep inside someone 25/8. Even you have a seriously fucked up sense of humor." That got Cerith laughing, sounding like thunder and the whip crack of lightning at the same time. "You've got me there Julius," Cerith said after his laughter subsided. I think he suits him today. Which is both a good and bad sign. When Cerith is acting like a man, it usually means some grim news, but they are going to try to make it seem like not a big deal and laugh a lot. Plus they almost never call me Julius. Something was wrong. Very seriously wrong. As this realization hit me I got this odd tingle in the small of my back. Like someone had put several freezing needles under the skin and into my spine, something I'm familiar with from the anima-games from the cyber sphere. Halos: Divine Retribution If I remember right. Those Angels were sadistic bastards. I shuddered at both the memories from the game and the shockingly similar feeling I was experiencing. Dread, that feeling is dread my friend, the quiet part of my mind whispered to me. "Cer, what's wrong bud," I asked. He didn't say anything. For a long time. After a few minutes I was about to ask again, but then he spoke. And what came out will haunt me, quite possibly till the day I die. "This ones temporal lobes are gray matter. Nothing even close to being coherent. Just. Dead neurons. And he's not the first." Gone was the jovialness of the past ten minutes. This was Cerith the whisperer. In an almost dead tone they continued, "the others didn't fare nearly as well as this one. Most of the brain is intact here, which means that if they didn't deliver a massive shock or something similar to fully kill him he would have possibly lived as a vegetable with memory issues, but that's not what I'm looking for in this one here now. Now I'm trying to figure out what else the others had in common with him, and so far that's brought up all but naught. Well this one has a bit of liver damage. But that's about it. So Mr John was a drinker. Not much there." When Cerith is "whispering" the best thing to do is just let him be. But I couldn't help but prick my ears up at mentions of others with similar wounds, and the fact that this one had liver issues.... "Cer. You said... CERITH," I finally snapped out and caught his attention mid ramble. "Thank you. You said liver problems. But nothing similar to the others? No drugs? Alcohol? Not even a synth brain-pattern? You checked Everything?" "Well let's see, John here was a drinker that's for sure," Cerith said his hands never ceasing their work as he started to put 'John' back together seemingly satisfied that he found nothing else, " Mr Lombardo in chest 3 had cocaine mostly, and Mr Lei in chest 9 had opium. Although to tell you where it came from for both I'd have to do a molecular analysis and see what it compares to. Other than that, no. Absolutely nothing connecting any of them. As far as I can tell they are all unique cases completely separate from each other except for the damages to the brain. And I only found this by accident. During a routine scan I happened to look at the screen as it passed through the brain and noticed an odd density in his temporal lobes. Just slightly higher than normal. Hell to be honest with you it had the density of a fresh cutie, you know those little oranges?" I nodded, and he continued, "Right of course you do, who hasn't? Anyways it's just super dense compared to the surrounding tissues, and I take a sliver probe and drop it in like you do. And when I turn the damn thing on to look at the neurons the area all I see are dead cells packed on top of one another. Not natural decay death, but forced to die. Most of the cell walls were torn open like they had blown up from the INSIDE. That's when I called you." He finished up with 'John' putting the final few perfect stitches in place and sealing him up for good. Once he seemed happy with his work he called out to his seemingly empty morgue, "Grom I'm done! Can you put Mr John Doe here back in his room? Number 11 if you please." He turned away from the body on the table and removed the giant rubber gloves that went to his elbows. He walked into the dark calling out over his shoulder, "I'll be back in a sec I gotta scrub out, want a drink? I have beer, whiskey, vodka, I might have some Cognac somewhere, and bourbon. Your choice, just call out what you want and Tabitha will be there with it. Also have a seat! We have much to discuss." With that he disappeared from both sight and sound in the dark. It was a neat trick I have to admit, and it had something to do with how he had his morgue set up. Even the giant war machine that was Grom was absolutely quiet unless you managed to catch him through the gloom. I thought for the longest time the reason why I could never catch him sneaking around was from some sort of stealth program put into place, but when he goes up and down those stairs he's as loud as can be. So it was definitely not his program but the way the morgue was built. I'm confident in saying that because when I turned back to look at the table, or rather where it was, there was now a chair that looked like it had just grown out of the floor and the body was gone. Also the thought of something as big as a fridge just sneaking up on some poor combatants and snapping their necks as quietly as he walks in the morgue just gives me the heebies. As I sat in the chair a thought occurred to me. Considering how advanced the morgue seemed to be it would make sense that it had some sort of AI or integrated computer. "Computer?" I had been here a million times but I'd never had a chance to think about it nor try anything. But not even a second after I had said anything a response came. "Yes Detective Julius. My name is DANNA. Or Dynamically Actualized Neural Net AI. How can I be of service?" The voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere, slightly feminine and breathy, all service but no sex. Honestly I was just surprised that it worked. "DANNA, I was just wondering if I could take a look at the files that Cerith had mentioned? If it is as bad as they claim I think I might need to know anyway. Also if you can get those blood works done for me I'd appreciate it. Also something with whiskey or rum would be amazing." "Of course Detective. I will have Tabitha bring it shortly. And how would you like the information to be displayed? Desktop or dynamic?" That piqued my interest. "Dynamic please." No sooner than I had said a series of screens blinked into existence in front of me. It was some sort of Holographic display. I reached out and touched the display and was surprised that I got stopped by something. It was hard but surprisingly I found that I could push into the screen with my finger if I pushed hard enough. It kinda felt like... Oobleck. I also found that by pinching the corner I could pull the screens closer or further from me. I even found that I could grab individual pages of the reports off the screen and hold it. It felt like a thin sheet of plastic and responded like both a tablet and a singular document. If I switched pages the old one would appear back onto the screen and the next would pop onto it. This was about as slick a set up as I had ever seen and whistled my appreciation under my breath, I'm definitely going to have to ask Cerith about where they got DANNA from. "See something you like, big boy?" A very DEFINITELY female voice said in my ear from behind, soft and throaty, screaming come hither. I felt small dainty hands gently caress the tops of my shoulders before slipping down the front of my chest, pulling me back into the chair that I didn't realize I had been slouching in. "You know better than that, Jules. Your back is important and slouching will destroy the muscles and cause some to atrophy." The voice left no room for argument, and left me more than a little bit flushed. I closed my eyes and dropped my head back as far as it would go, the back of my head hitting something soft and warm, stretching my neck and back out. "Damnit Cer I thought you were scrubbing out, not completely changing." I hadn't realized it, but at least an hour had passed from when I started playing with the computer and working with the files if the clock on the computer was to be believed. "You looked like you were pretty into it so I decided not to disturb you. Plus you know how much fun it is for me to tease you like this. Especially after, well these..." One hand waved at the screens in front of me. The small hands' nails were painted the darkest black and almost made them blend into the void that existed outside of the screens. "I do Cer, and that's part of the problem, we both know that it's never going to happen. Least of all for you." She laughed a little, a clear beautiful sound and the body beneath my head bounced slightly telling me I was against her stomach. "Still I know you enjoy these little moments," she said, the pressure on the back of my head disappearing and was replaced by the voice right by my ear again as she whispered, "especially when we both know that's not at all true." At the last words she nibbled my ear gently. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her, in spite of my baser instinct rising to meet her VERY juicy insinuations. But for as long as I've known Cerith and as many times as we have both been VERY drunk, they have NEVER cashed in. I just assumed that it was a quirk of theirs. "Anyways," she said standing back up, "what are you thinking so far about the files? Spooky, right? Like I said, nothing that I can see connects them." Her hands gestured in front of me in an approximation of a shrug. She then clasped them together, wringing the knuckles and effectively trapping me in the chair and back against her abdomen. I scrubbed my eyes with my fingertips acutely aware of the growing headache that suddenly made itself known. "Your right from the medical side. I can't see everything you can, of course. I don't have near the knowledge that you have," which is true being that Cerith is at least 200 years old. I never asked directly, the old adage still holding about women and their age. Still though her answers to certain questions would lead one to believe her being her first adult car was a Bing Cherry 2201 Firebird GT with white walled hover trim and chrome accents. From pictures that I could find it looked like a slick piece. Looking back to the screens I couldn't help but feel that itch again. I couldn't explain it. That prickly feeling of ice needles again, this time in the back of my skull. As much as I'd hate to admit it. I think Cerith is right. I sighed heavily before saying "send me everything. I'll open a new case file and have the team start working on it first thing." She made a happy noise and bounced slightly, clearly satisfied with my decision to take it on. I reached out and to my left and a glass was placed gently into my hand by Tabitha. I hadn't even realized she had come over while I was working and was now ready for that drink. Room temperature rum and cola. The drink went down smoothly enough considering I drained the glass in one gulp, during which time I finally got a good eyeful of Ceriths current form. Or rather the underside of part of it. From what I could tell she was wearing a black T-shirt. That was it. I put the glass back down, it's job done without moving my head and said, "What a lovely view Cerith. I'm guessing you chose this to try to get a rise out of me?" I couldn't lie though it was affecting me, but I couldn't let her know that. Not when she's like this. Otherwise she'll continue to tease me till she leaves me with the absolute worst case of blue balls this side of the City. Her hands came up and cupped my chin almost lovingly, and her voice said "Of course Detective. Do you not approve? Or would you rather I change back to my medical examination form? Or something else?" Her words dripped with implied sex. I groaned, loudly, and said, "This is fine. Jesus Cer." Before we could continue our most scintillating of conversations there was a sudden PING! And DANNA said, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but there's a message for you Cerith. It says 'If you can get to the department Cerith, do so. We need you to explain your paperwork. And if Detective Julius is still with you have him come in too.' signed the Chief. Would you like to reply?" 'Shit, I forgot the morgue kills all signals,' I thought to myself as I stood up gently (regretfully) prying myself from Ceriths grasp with a, "duty calls. Need a lift?" I stretched gently, the scales in between my shoulders clicking appreciatively for the stretch, and turned around to notice she was indeed, just wearing a black T-shirt that hugged her voluptuous figure closely. The scales in my back clicked shut in surprise. Cerith let out a small cute chuckle, "I see after all this time I can still surprise you," she said blowing a kiss my way, reminding me of a little Gothic pixy. I rolled my eyes away from her and willed my scales to relax. I grabbed my jacket off the back of the chair, slinging it on and clicking the neck clasp shut under the cord that connected my scales to the unit in my head. I was awarded the cybernetics upon completing my training and getting all my licenses to have them. The force had allowed me to customize it, I had chosen top of the line. A dual unit with custom built AI. The individual scales were ceracoated titanium microprocessors all running in both series and parallel, and could move to expel heat or react. The main unit was the same except it was one solid unit that replaced a chunk of skull. Once that was done I zipped up the front of the leathers and ran the scales through the racer setting. They clicked and flattened against the outside of the jacket, securing it to my back. I shrugged making sure it was comfortable. "I'll take the fact that you're only in a t-shirt you'll be along shortly?" "Certainly detective." Her voice was filled with dismissive submission... And sadness? I looked back at her and noticed her makeup was gone. Or had she had any on in the first place? I gave myself a mental shake. There's no way. This was Cerith, veritable goddess of the necropolis. I put the last few minutes away for review later. Chief called. I have to go. On an instinct I thought long dead, I reached out and squeezed her hand. I felt a slight squeeze back. And then she let go with a, "Go on, be a good detective. I'll be along shortly." I left with Tabitha as my guide. Before Cerith disappeared into the darkness I thought I heard her whisper, "please don't leave." My scales raised in a saddened response. I couldn't be sure I heard her right though. If I heard her at all. I reached back and stroked them, knowing my ai probably heard her, and knowing it could feel me touch the scales. After a few seconds the scales settled down. 'I know buddy,' I thought to the AI. It couldn't respond like usual AI. The force thought that was too dangerous. What if it went rogue? What if it tried to kill the host and take over? The list went on and eventually they decided the basics were ok. When I got my unit one of the first things I did was jack it into a diagnostic to see what kind of hardware I was dealing with exactly because manufacturer specs from real use are sometimes different with AI if the bits and bobs are in place. When I did, all I got on the screen was 'Hello?'

Hello! I'm available for free tarot readings. You can send me a message if you're interested.
I'm willing to read on most any topics and situations that may arise for you, to help you find solutions to your concerns about them. I use creative thinking along with knowledge of tarot correspondences, symbolism and metaphors to provide you with ideas and insights on your queries.
You have the option of having your reading live on call or in the form of photo + text; let me know which you prefer.
The main exceptions are queries on health/medical, legal/illegal, and supernatural topics. I won't be taking queries focused on third parties either (other people's mind, feelings, doing etc.).
You can message me with your request, and I'll respond to you as soon as I can. Please allow up to a few hours for a response. If I'm not able to take any request for any reason, I'll let you know. But otherwise, feel free to ask about anything!
This is for creative and entertainment purposes only. I won't read for anyone under 18 years of age.

My girlfriend(32F) and I(31M) are in a long distance relationship since a year and a half. We’re both in different countries, we met through a dating app. When we stumbled upon each other, she had just broken up with her ex for about 6 months and was healing from a toxic relationship. Her ex was emotionally abusive and It took a toll on her and she started to question her self confidence. She went through therapy but discontinued shortly as became expensive.
As we began our relationship, we set things straight that we were purely going to get to know each other and become good friends first and then see where it takes us. As we got to know each other more, I started to fall for her and I saw her as the most precious human, still do! She’s got amazing qualities, she’s super funny, she’s kind, she’s the sweetest to literally everyone, she’s got a beautiful heart and soul, she’s sexy and whatnot. But we decided we were not going to say “I love you” until we meet in person.
During this time of us getting to know each other, she told me that she didn’t find me attractive physically and we don’t have an emotional connection like how she does with a few of her friends. And we convinced each other that it’ll take time for all that as we’re still getting to know each other. She used to make fun of how I laugh all the time when I’m talking to her, she’d make fun of the way I talk, the way I eat, the way I dance or sing( which I understand, I suck) but I used to send her pictures and videos of me singing and dancing for her while I was thinking of her. She used to make fun of those too and asked me not to do anything “extra” and just myself. That was me being myself and I felt that she didn’t like it, so I stopped it all.
She told me that her ex and all her ex boyfriends were charming and had a great personality. And it made me feel a little low thinking that maybe she doesn’t find me charming. Maybe I wasn’t her type, but she used to tell me that I’ve made her feel so comfortable that she can be herself around me and she likes that a lot. And she told me that this is helping her heal from her past as she felt that she wasn’t able to be herself in her past relationship before me. I felt good and I wanted to make her feel more comfortable, so, when the time is right, she’ll feel things for me.
She once mentioned that her friend and her were laughing about how they’re not into guys who are inexperienced and they would never want to get into a relationship with a virgin. Me, being a virgin, I told her I’d been with 3 partners and have had s*x because again, because of what she said earlier, I got scared and lied. I shouldn’t have. I was in three other relationships(each not lasting more than 2yrs) but never had sex because I wanted to have sex with the one with whom I’d be certain I’ll be spending the rest of my life with. I never felt that way with any of my exes and never had sex but did other stuff.
While her on the other hand, has had a quite a few hookups, friends with benefit with 1 guy, and had sex with all 4 other partners from her long relationships( each 3 year long). This was all before meeting me and I told her it’s good that she was experienced and I’ll probably get to learn from her experience.
6 months into the relationship, she had come down to my country and we spent 2 days together. I really wanted to hug her so badly and kiss her. But when we hugged, she said she didn’t feel any butterflies and it was awkward. This made me feel really low, but I told myself that she’s probably still healing from her past and it may take time for her corn around and open her heart for me. Never kissed. She asked me for a kiss after our “awkward hug” but I was scared that if we kissed and if she didn’t feel anything, she’d end things between us.
We met again 3 months down the road, this time we spent a solid 10 days together. I was really excited and I thought by now, she’d be comfortable around me and probably have feelings for me. She said she did. And by this time, she told me she loves me for the first time. And I truly believed it. We kissed for the first time, we made out a little and it was all good. But didn’t have sex, while we were foreplaying, she asked me to put it in and I wanted to but my dck in but it wouldn’t turn on. I never had a problem with my dck not working while masturbating, I used to imagine doing a lot of sexy things with my girlfriend.
Mentally, I was under a lot of pressure, that she has had amazing sex from her ex partners and what if I disappoint her. She did tell me that in her previous relationship, she had orgasmed 7 times in 24 hrs. I tried to not think of it, but subconsciously, I wanted to be good too, make her feel good and I wanted to make her feel satisfied. Anyways, when she asked me what was wrong, I told her that I was a virgin and she said it was okay, I shouldn’t have lied to her, she comforted me saying we can have sex later when I’m comfortable and wanted to make it special.
I felt supported and safe. It was good. I regretted not telling her earlier. During this meet, though we kissed not more than 15seconds, foreplayed a little, she was not comfortable with me touching her tummy, touch her bum, or even take a look at her p*ssy. I was fine with it, I understood that it may be because of her insecurities and I kept praising her how hot she was and how much I find her sexy.
This trip ended and we met again 4 months down the line, only for 5 days but we couro spend the time together only for 2 days. We hugged and she again, said the hug was awkward. We kissed, but never made out more than 15seconds, I was playing around with her body and this time she let me kiss her tummy and bum. But didn’t let me take a look her p*ssy and I was still fine. I understood her that she needs more time to be physically comfortable.
She went back and after a couple of months, I asked her why she used to push me away while we were kissing. Even during our hugs, I wanted to hug her tightly, but she used to tap out 5 seconds into the hug. She said it was because it was summer, it was too hot. Then later, she told me that those were intimate things and it takes time for her to be intimate with her partner. I tried to understand.
TL/ DR - What bothers me is, while she had her hookups, friends with benefit stuff, she was with a stranger and she would let them touch her anywhere in the body, she’d let them kiss her, make out with her for as long as they want, she’d let them look at her whole body while they were having sex, but not me. I’ve made it clear with her multiple times that I’m here for good and I want her to my life partner and that I love her, and yet, she’s not comfortable with me even after 1.5 years of our relationship but she has been comfortable with strangers whom she had just met.
It makes me think, that she either find me unattractive or she doesn’t look at me that way, yet. She tells me that she loves me, she finds me attractive and wants to get married to me, but I’m not able to trust her words because of her actions when we were together in person.
I love her to the moon, she is my freaking moon. But I don’t know if there’s something wrong with my thinking, maybe she doesn’t find me sexy, maybe doesn’t see me as a bad boy like her exes.
I mean, I know things will get better as we close the distance in 1 year when I move to her country but right now; I’m finding it very difficult to process the fact that she’s not comfortable with me physically even after all this time, but she’s so comfortable to kiss, make out or have s*x with a stranger.
Super Sorry for the long read. Please give me your honest insights.

Hey there, if you're 21+ and you've been craving fantasy, sci-fi and/or slice of life roleplays, we might be a good fit! Here's a little about me:

• I'm Azu, 25+, non-binary and from NZ (GMT +12)
• Genre wise I'm super into fantasy and sci-fi, and I'll always have a soft spot for slice of life
• Romance is always fun, I'm open to any gender combination and poly ships as well
• I enjoy exploring all genders, roles and character types. It's hard to pin me down 😂
• My replies range from a few paragraphs to 1000ish words depending on the situation
• My reply rate is slow! There's a lot going on in my life, so I average a smaller few replies or one big one a week
• I love brainstorming and coming up with a larger cast of characters around the initial main ones with intersecting plots 👀

In a RP partner I'm looking for: - Someone who is 21+ and LGBTQIA+ friendly - Brainstorming, plotting and ooc chatter. Let's get excited about our characters and world! - More than a few lines per reply - Any timezone and reply rate is fine, so long as we're patient and communicative we can make it work
At the moment I've got a hankering for bodyguard/diplomat in a sci-fi setting, fantasy arranged marriages and plots full of court intrigue, the golden age of sail, and some witchy, cosy fantasy slice of life - but I'm open to just about anything, and love coming up with plots and characters. If there's something specific you're craving, send it along, chances are I'll be down for it!
Original settings are awesome, love them and really enjoy collaborative worldbuilding, so super up for that but I am also happy to RP in these fandom worlds (I mostly do OC/OC, but bolded the ones I'd be open to canon/canon in):

• BG3/Faerun/D&D
• Dragon Age
• Elder Scrolls
• ASOIAF (really into the House of the Dragon era right now)
• Fire Emblem (Awakening, Fates, Three Houses)
• Star Wars
• Star Trek

If any of that interests you, shoot me a message. Let's have a chat and brainstorm together 😁

My girlfriend(32F) and I(31M) are in a long distance relationship since a year and a half. We’re both in different countries, we met through a dating app. When we stumbled upon each other, she had just broken up with her ex for about 6 months and was healing from a toxic relationship. Her ex was emotionally abusive and It took a toll on her and she started to question her self confidence. She went through therapy but discontinued shortly as became expensive.
As we began our relationship, we set things straight that we were purely going to get to know each other and become good friends first and then see where it takes us. As we got to know each other more, I started to fall for her and I saw her as the most precious human, still do! She’s got amazing qualities, she’s super funny, she’s kind, she’s the sweetest to literally everyone, she’s got a beautiful heart and soul, she’s sexy and whatnot. But we decided we were not going to say “I love you” until we meet in person.
During this time of us getting to know each other, she told me that she didn’t find me attractive physically and we don’t have an emotional connection like how she does with a few of her friends. And we convinced each other that it’ll take time for all that as we’re still getting to know each other. She used to make fun of how I laugh all the time when I’m talking to her, she’d make fun of the way I talk, the way I eat, the way I dance or sing( which I understand, I suck) but I used to send her pictures and videos of me singing and dancing for her while I was thinking of her. She used to make fun of those too and asked me not to do anything “extra” and just myself. That was me being myself and I felt that she didn’t like it, so I stopped it all.
She told me that her ex and all her ex boyfriends were charming and had a great personality. And it made me feel a little low thinking that maybe she doesn’t find me charming. Maybe I wasn’t her type, but she used to tell me that I’ve made her feel so comfortable that she can be herself around me and she likes that a lot. And she told me that this is helping her heal from her past as she felt that she wasn’t able to be herself in her past relationship before me. I felt good and I wanted to make her feel more comfortable, so, when the time is right, she’ll feel things for me.
She once mentioned that her friend and her were laughing about how they’re not into guys who are inexperienced and they would never want to get into a relationship with a virgin. Me, being a virgin, I told her I’d been with 3 partners and have had s*x because again, because of what she said earlier, I got scared and lied. I shouldn’t have. I was in three other relationships(each not lasting more than 2yrs) but never had sex because I wanted to have sex with the one with whom I’d be certain I’ll be spending the rest of my life with. I never felt that way with any of my exes and never had sex but did other stuff.
While her on the other hand, has had a quite a few hookups, friends with benefit with 1 guy, and had sex with all 4 other partners from her long relationships( each 3 year long). This was all before meeting me and I told her it’s good that she was experienced and I’ll probably get to learn from her experience.
6 months into the relationship, she had come down to my country and we spent 2 days together. I really wanted to hug her so badly and kiss her. But when we hugged, she said she didn’t feel any butterflies and it was awkward. This made me feel really low, but I told myself that she’s probably still healing from her past and it may take time for her corn around and open her heart for me. Never kissed. She asked me for a kiss after our “awkward hug” but I was scared that if we kissed and if she didn’t feel anything, she’d end things between us.
We met again 3 months down the road, this time we spent a solid 10 days together. I was really excited and I thought by now, she’d be comfortable around me and probably have feelings for me. She said she did. And by this time, she told me she loves me for the first time. And I truly believed it. We kissed for the first time, we made out a little and it was all good. But didn’t have sex, while we were foreplaying, she asked me to put it in and I wanted to but my dck in but it wouldn’t turn on. I never had a problem with my dck not working while masturbating, I used to imagine doing a lot of sexy things with my girlfriend.
Mentally, I was under a lot of pressure, that she has had amazing sex from her ex partners and what if I disappoint her. She did tell me that in her previous relationship, she had orgasmed 7 times in 24 hrs. I tried to not think of it, but subconsciously, I wanted to be good too, make her feel good and I wanted to make her feel satisfied. Anyways, when she asked me what was wrong, I told her that I was a virgin and she said it was okay, I shouldn’t have lied to her, she comforted me saying we can have sex later when I’m comfortable and wanted to make it special.
I felt supported and safe. It was good. I regretted not telling her earlier. During this meet, though we kissed not more than 15seconds, foreplayed a little, she was not comfortable with me touching her tummy, touch her bum, or even take a look at her p*ssy. I was fine with it, I understood that it may be because of her insecurities and I kept praising her how hot she was and how much I find her sexy.
This trip ended and we met again 4 months down the line, only for 5 days but we couro spend the time together only for 2 days. We hugged and she again, said the hug was awkward. We kissed, but never made out more than 15seconds, I was playing around with her body and this time she let me kiss her tummy and bum. But didn’t let me take a look her p*ssy and I was still fine. I understood her that she needs more time to be physically comfortable.
She went back and after a couple of months, I asked her why she used to push me away while we were kissing. Even during our hugs, I wanted to hug her tightly, but she used to tap out 5 seconds into the hug. She said it was because it was summer, it was too hot. Then later, she told me that those were intimate things and it takes time for her to be intimate with her partner. I tried to understand.
TL/ DR - What bothers me is, while she had her hookups, friends with benefit stuff, she was with a stranger and she would let them touch her anywhere in the body, she’d let them kiss her, make out with her for as long as they want, she’d let them look at her whole body while they were having sex, but not me. I’ve made it clear with her multiple times that I’m here for good and I want her to my life partner and that I love her, and yet, she’s not comfortable with me even after 1.5 years of our relationship but she has been comfortable with strangers whom she had just met.
It makes me think, that she either find me unattractive or she doesn’t look at me that way, yet. She tells me that she loves me, she finds me attractive and wants to get married to me, but I’m not able to trust her words because of her actions when we were together in person.
I love her to the moon, she is my freaking moon. But I don’t know if there’s something wrong with my thinking, maybe she doesn’t find me sexy, maybe doesn’t see me as a bad boy like her exes.
I mean, I know things will get better as we close the distance in 1 year when I move to her country but right now; I’m finding it very difficult to process the fact that she’s not comfortable with me physically even after all this time, but she’s so comfortable to kiss, make out or have s*x with a stranger.
Super Sorry for the long read. Please give me your honest insights.

After getting alot more experience, I have decided to rerelease my first script, with a few formatting changes. I wanted this and the rest of the ongoing series to match the standards of the other scripts in my library.
Note: monetization is fine, just credit me, send a link of audio, and ask before making any changes
Context: Damar and Listener manage to climb down the mountain to the entrance to the caves. Damar has created a torch for light and the duo are slowly making their way to the Emerald Serpent’s nest.
Damar: We were lucky that the serpent’s nest was right below us. Ok, there are two ways we can go about this task. First, if the serpent is asleep, I will keep a lookout for any signs of it waking up, while you get the scale. Second, if the serpent is awake, I can distract it long enough for you to get the scale. With both of these plans, we get the heck out of dodge as soon as the scale is in hand. Do not look back at the serpent if it is chasing us, just keep your legs moving.
(Short Time Skip)
Damar: Looks like the Serpent is asleep, so we will have to go with Plan A. Do not aim for the head or tail, maybe somewhere in the middle. I will alert you if I notice anything.
…..
[Snake Tongue flicking sound]
Damar: Human, look out!
[Snake hisses and bite sound?]
Damar: No! [Weapon unsheathing sound] Take this you overgrown garden snake!
[Sound of sword hitting something]
Damar: (Speaking to Listener) I will get you out of here, do not worry.
.... [Running sound]
Damar: Are you ok? (Starts to panic) No, of course, you are not ok! Your leg just got bitten!
Damar: (Trying to stay calm) Let me see the wound. That does not look good. And I do not have an antidote on me.
….
Damar: Of course, you will not die. I will not let it happen. You will go back to your village and see your grandmother again. I vow this upon every tree in the forest. Just please hang on for me!
….
Damar: Try to keep your eyes open! Tell me your name. I still cannot believe I forgot to ask it of you when we first met.
….
Damar: That is a lovely name. And honestly a lot more elegant than the ones belonging to the elven noblewomen.
….
Damar: You are starting to feel numb? The venom must be particularly potent. I will see if I can get the venom out, but you have to stay awake.
…..
Damar: (Voice fades in and out) (Sounds panicked) Do not go to sleep! Do you hear?! Do not go to sleep! Hey! Hey! Do not go to sleep!
(Time Skip) [Fire crackling sound]
Damar: Oh, you are awake? I was starting to worry you would not pull through.
…..
Damar: Do not try to get up. I managed to suck out most of the venom and make a poultice, but you are not out of the woods just yet. [Sound of water being rung out of a cloth] You still have a fever. It is best if we stay here for a few days until your fever cools down a bit.
….
Damar: Where are we? After you fainted, I scooped you up and managed to get out of the serpent’s den. And as for your wound … (Takes in a breath) the emerald serpent’s venom becomes sticky once injected into its victim. That makes it harder to be sucked out and for the victim to recover. Since I removed most of it, you have a higher chance of survival, but we have to find some way of neutralizing the rest. I was thinking we could use the silver unicorn tears. They are supposed to be one of the most powerful healing items in the whole domain.
….
Damar: The scale fell to the ground after you got bitten, so I grabbed it on our way out of the den. I put it in your pack with the Thunderbird feather. As for the unicorn tears, a herd of them live not too far from here. I guess we are getting luckier and luckier as the trials go on. Except for you getting injured of course. Now that you are awake, I am going to check on your wound.
…. [Bandage unwrapping sound]
Damar: Looks like the poultice helped, but your leg is not fully healed. See these black veins? That indicates the remaining venom. As I mentioned earlier, I managed to get most of it out of the bite. However, I noticed the rest of the venom was harder to remove and I feared accidently hurting you further by pulling at it. Let me prepare a fresh poultice and rewrap your leg.
[Wrapping sound?]
Damar: There you go. Just focus on resting for a little while longer and then we will make our way to the unicorn herd. You also do not have to worry about walking, since I will be carrying you.
….
Damar: Your face is turning red. That is either from your fever or (Smirk and flirty) you are blushing because I said that I would be carrying you.
….
Damar: (Chuckling) There is no need to hide your face. I find you blushing rather cute. To be honest, you are the first human woman that I have ever considered beautiful. You are so concerned about your grandmother, that you completely disregard your own safety. I will make sure you complete the last task so you can go home. And maybe... (kinda nervous) we could hang out sometime? I know some good spots for picnics. Hopefully, I am not sounding weird, considering we just met a few days ago. I swear I am starting to sound like Mother.
…..
Damar: Do not giggle at me! I am trying to be serious and not sound like a blubbering idiot. Just focus on getting some of your strength back and I will make sure no monsters or that oversized garden snake tries anything. Sweet dreams human.

My girlfriend(32F) and I(31M) are in a long distance relationship since a year and a half. We’re both in different countries, we met through a dating app. When we stumbled upon each other, she had just broken up with her ex for about 6 months and was healing from a toxic relationship. Her ex was emotionally abusive and It took a toll on her and she started to question her self confidence. She went through therapy but discontinued shortly as became expensive.
As we began our relationship, we set things straight that we were purely going to get to know each other and become good friends first and then see where it takes us. As we got to know each other more, I started to fall for her and I saw her as the most precious human, still do! She’s got amazing qualities, she’s super funny, she’s kind, she’s the sweetest to literally everyone, she’s got a beautiful heart and soul, she’s sexy and whatnot. But we decided we were not going to say “I love you” until we meet in person.
During this time of us getting to know each other, she told me that she didn’t find me attractive physically and we don’t have an emotional connection like how she does with a few of her friends. And we convinced each other that it’ll take time for all that as we’re still getting to know each other. She used to make fun of how I laugh all the time when I’m talking to her, she’d make fun of the way I talk, the way I eat, the way I dance or sing( which I understand, I suck) but I used to send her pictures and videos of me singing and dancing for her while I was thinking of her. She used to make fun of those too and asked me not to do anything “extra” and just myself. That was me being myself and I felt that she didn’t like it, so I stopped it all.
She told me that her ex and all her ex boyfriends were charming and had a great personality. And it made me feel a little low thinking that maybe she doesn’t find me charming. Maybe I wasn’t her type, but she used to tell me that I’ve made her feel so comfortable that she can be herself around me and she likes that a lot. And she told me that this is helping her heal from her past as she felt that she wasn’t able to be herself in her past relationship before me. I felt good and I wanted to make her feel more comfortable, so, when the time is right, she’ll feel things for me.
She once mentioned that her friend and her were laughing about how they’re not into guys who are inexperienced and they would never want to get into a relationship with a virgin. Me, being a virgin, I told her I’d been with 3 partners and have had s*x because again, because of what she said earlier, I got scared and lied. I shouldn’t have. I was in three other relationships(each not lasting more than 2yrs) but never had sex because I wanted to have sex with the one with whom I’d be certain I’ll be spending the rest of my life with. I never felt that way with any of my exes and never had sex but did other stuff.
While her on the other hand, has had a quite a few hookups, friends with benefit with 1 guy, and had sex with all 4 other partners from her long relationships( each 3 year long). This was all before meeting me and I told her it’s good that she was experienced and I’ll probably get to learn from her experience.
6 months into the relationship, she had come down to my country and we spent 2 days together. I really wanted to hug her so badly and kiss her. But when we hugged, she said she didn’t feel any butterflies and it was awkward. This made me feel really low, but I told myself that she’s probably still healing from her past and it may take time for her corn around and open her heart for me. Never kissed. She asked me for a kiss after our “awkward hug” but I was scared that if we kissed and if she didn’t feel anything, she’d end things between us.
We met again 3 months down the road, this time we spent a solid 10 days together. I was really excited and I thought by now, she’d be comfortable around me and probably have feelings for me. She said she did. And by this time, she told me she loves me for the first time. And I truly believed it. We kissed for the first time, we made out a little and it was all good. But didn’t have sex, while we were foreplaying, she asked me to put it in and I wanted to but my dck in but it wouldn’t turn on. I never had a problem with my dck not working while masturbating, I used to imagine doing a lot of sexy things with my girlfriend.
Mentally, I was under a lot of pressure, that she has had amazing sex from her ex partners and what if I disappoint her. She did tell me that in her previous relationship, she had orgasmed 7 times in 24 hrs. I tried to not think of it, but subconsciously, I wanted to be good too, make her feel good and I wanted to make her feel satisfied. Anyways, when she asked me what was wrong, I told her that I was a virgin and she said it was okay, I shouldn’t have lied to her, she comforted me saying we can have sex later when I’m comfortable and wanted to make it special.
I felt supported and safe. It was good. I regretted not telling her earlier. During this meet, though we kissed not more than 15seconds, foreplayed a little, she was not comfortable with me touching her tummy, touch her bum, or even take a look at her p*ssy. I was fine with it, I understood that it may be because of her insecurities and I kept praising her how hot she was and how much I find her sexy.
This trip ended and we met again 4 months down the line, only for 5 days but we couro spend the time together only for 2 days. We hugged and she again, said the hug was awkward. We kissed, but never made out more than 15seconds, I was playing around with her body and this time she let me kiss her tummy and bum. But didn’t let me take a look her p*ssy and I was still fine. I understood her that she needs more time to be physically comfortable.
She went back and after a couple of months, I asked her why she used to push me away while we were kissing. Even during our hugs, I wanted to hug her tightly, but she used to tap out 5 seconds into the hug. She said it was because it was summer, it was too hot. Then later, she told me that those were intimate things and it takes time for her to be intimate with her partner. I tried to understand.
TL/ DR - What bothers me is, while she had her hookups, friends with benefit stuff, she was with a stranger and she would let them touch her anywhere in the body, she’d let them kiss her, make out with her for as long as they want, she’d let them look at her whole body while they were having sex, but not me. I’ve made it clear with her multiple times that I’m here for good and I want her to my life partner and that I love her, and yet, she’s not comfortable with me even after 1.5 years of our relationship but she has been comfortable with strangers whom she had just met.
It makes me think, that she either find me unattractive or she doesn’t look at me that way, yet. She tells me that she loves me, she finds me attractive and wants to get married to me, but I’m not able to trust her words because of her actions when we were together in person.
I love her to the moon, she is my freaking moon. But I don’t know if there’s something wrong with my thinking, maybe she doesn’t find me sexy, maybe doesn’t see me as a bad boy like her exes.
I mean, I know things will get better as we close the distance in 1 year when I move to her country but right now; I’m finding it very difficult to process the fact that she’s not comfortable with me physically even after all this time, but she’s so comfortable to kiss, make out or have s*x with a stranger.
Super Sorry for the long read. Please give me your honest insights.

Hello fellow writers! I am once again on the hunt for a roleplay partner 🤗
I want to do a medieval, arranged marriage roleplay where are characters are from rival nations, and perhaps even from different fantasy races. Enemies to lovers is one of my all time favorite plots.
I'd like the story to incorporate the differences between our character's cultures, have them drop their hatred and prejudices for one another, learn from the other and grow closer as their romance develops within their forced marriage.
Let's play up politics, love triangles, espionage, drama, life, death, magic, anything we can think of.
A little about me, I'm 30 female from the States. I've been roleplaying on and off for about 13 plus years. I'm semi to advanced literate, depending on the plot, the scene and my partner. I write mostly in 3rd person, I'm comfortable with themes that are 🌠romantic🌶 in nature, and discord is my preferred platform for roleplaying. I prefer my partner to be 21 plus and also in the States, though I'm pretty flexible in that regard.
I do prefer stories that are long term, that can span over years of the character's lives with numerous plot points throughout. It always creates a more in depth story! I love chatting outside of the roleplay as well 💖
I'm a mom to a one year old. My day job is very easy, so I'm free on and off for most of my working hours, evenings and the occasional middle of the night feeding lol I'm in desperate need for some creativity in my life
Please send me a message detailing some of your ideas for the story so we can discuss more. I really look forward to hearing from you! Let's get creative!

Disclaimer: This woman is not and should not be a reflection of the Church/organization itself, I only mentioned it because it was relevant to my story.
I’m (19 F) a college student living in a dormitory outside my university. My blockmate (now best friend) referred me to the place since she lived there.
The landlady, a woman in her early-fifties, I think, was a member of Vict*ry Church. She’s your conventional conservative Christian that preaches about God and believes everyone should lead that life too.
On the day we confirmed/paid for my room there, she said that she will serve as my 2nd mom and told my parents na from here onwards, nakabilin na ako sa kanya. My parents mindlessly agreed, thinking that was just for posterity. We had no idea she took it seriously.
Fast forward, I had a boyfriend whom I met in college. My parents didn’t know yet, but everytime I slept over to his place, the landlady would call and ask where I was and threatened to tell my parents I wasn’t sleeping there if I didn’t come home this instant. My best friend who stayed in the room in front of me eventually got caught that she was covering up for me too.
The landlady then proceeded to tell my parents about my sneaking out and lied about a lot of things. Buntis na raw ako at ipacheck nila ako sa OB ngayon na, napariwara na raw ako sa Diyos, kung kani-kanino na raw ako nagpagalaw and that her Vict*ry friends advised her that our family pull me out of college para hindi na mapariwara and file for rape against my boyfriend. Di raw siya nagsisinungaling at Kristiyano siya kaya she’s telling the truth daw. My parents almost believed her and I told them na lalayasan ko sila if they listened to her and pulled me out of college.
After that shitstorm, I resolved things with my parents. May lamat na, but all was well. They’re okay with my boyfriend now and they have long forgiven me for what happened. They love me too much that they couldn’t bear to hear what shit the landlady, her family, and her Vict*ry friends said about me.
Fast-forward, my best friend left because her mom got into a fight with the landlady after telling her na wag pakialamanan ang buhay ng anak niya dahil hindi naman sila magkaano-ano. Pinagkalat rin ng landlady na to sa Vict*ry friends niya na nabuntis na to, and that sayang kasi irereto pa naman sana niya sa bunso niyang anak na may gusto sa friend ko.
Fast-forward again and I’m still in the dorm, but I tried to maintain a better relationship with the landlady for appearances. Inutusan niya akong maghanap ng tenants at inaalisan lagi siya. I agreed and found two new tenants for her. Yung isa, in a few months pa sana magsisimula magrent, the other one nakailang buwan na rito. Siniraan sa aking yung latter tenant ng landlady by telling me na hindi na raw nagbabayad ng rent. I asked the tenant about this and he told me na inuubos na lang raw nya deposit niya at wala siyang balak na magtagal pa dito. He told me that after he rejected the landlady na ipasok yung anak niyang walang kwenta ang CV sa work niya, she started treating him horribly. The guy works for an IT company and that when he explained that they were looking for someone that had a background in it, she rudely said na “computer computer lang naman yang trabaho mo eh, magaling pa anak ko sayo dyan kahit wala siya experience.”
She would barge in the middle of his meetings and ask him to clean up. Tinaasan niya rent nung tenant just because she felt like it, and she started stealing his stocks (canned goods like Spam and Delimondo) and his money (like the 4k he left in his dresser and never saw again). She was the only one that had access to the room keys so we had no one else to blame. My stocks and skincare products started disappearing too. My last straw was when my Milka chocolate—na tinitipid tipid ko kasi nirequest ko pa yon—vanished. I was saving that as a reward to myself after I survive finals week. I cried to my parents about this na wala na ako makain kasi wala na ako stocks sa dorm, and they finally told me na I can start looking for another dorm para maconsume na yung deposit ko sa landlady.
She still checks up on me every night and naiimbyerna na yung mom ko sa kakatawag niya sa kanila at the dead of night just to ask then na ivideo call nila ako at baka kung sino sino na naman “gumagalaw” sa akin. My parents know better than to believe her now.
I finally found another dorm na malilipatan next month, and yung isang tenant na guy aalis na rin by next month. I decided to take my sweet revenge and tell the tenant na magrerent sana in a few months what happened. She backed out, so now the landlady won’t have any tenants left after namin makaalis. She was planning na iparenovate sana yung room ko at yung room ng isang tenant because she was anticipating the latter’s arrival soon.
Tinitiis ko na lang siya this month. God, I am so willing to reveal her whole identity here para wala na talaga magrent sa kanya. Sana itakwil to ng simbahan niya, people like her are what give Christians a bad rep.

Hello fellow writers! I am once again on the hunt for a roleplay partner 🤗
I want to do a medieval, arranged marriage roleplay where are characters are from rival nations, and perhaps even from different fantasy races. Enemies to lovers is one of my all time favorite plots.
I'd like the story to incorporate the differences between our character's cultures, have them drop their hatred and prejudices for one another, learn from the other and grow closer as their romance develops within their forced marriage.
Let's play up politics, love triangles, espionage, drama, life, death, magic, anything we can think of.
A little about me, I'm 30 female from the States. I've been roleplaying on and off for about 13 plus years. I'm semi to advanced literate, depending on the plot, the scene and my partner. I write mostly in 3rd person, I'm comfortable with themes that are 🌠romantic🌶 in nature, and discord is my preferred platform for roleplaying. I prefer my partner to be 21 plus and also in the States, though I'm pretty flexible in that regard.
I do prefer stories that are long term, that can span over years of the character's lives with numerous plot points throughout. It always creates a more in depth story! I love chatting outside of the roleplay as well 💖
I'm a mom to a one year old. My day job is very easy, so I'm free on and off for most of my working hours, evenings and the occasional middle of the night feeding lol I'm in desperate need for some creativity in my life
Please send me a message detailing some of your ideas for the story so we can discuss more. I really look forward to hearing from you! Let's get creative!