Girls shirt falls off

TLDR; I have experienced anxiety off and on but its been ramping up over the last few years specifically around traveling and it is really hard to eat food when I’m anxious. I’m feeling debilitated and worried that I will never get better and I’m scared meds wont work. I want to be able to travel and see my friends in other states without being completely consumed by anxiety.
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I have struggled with anxiety off and on my whole life and as I’m reflecting now, it had a lot to do with not being home/change. I would get homesick at summer camp, I would get anxious before a sleepover, I had anxiety my entire 8th grade year because I was going from a tiny private school to a huge public high school.
When I moved away from home I was fine and I don’t think I had anxiety for several years. I was an adult, figuring out life on my own and doing fine. I would travel to visit my friends in other states and I was fine. I got married, had a bachelorette trip, a honeymoon etc. all good.
During covid I went to test for ADHD and realized I was depressed so I went on wellbutrin which changed everything for me.
In 2021 I went on a trip with a bunch of girls that really fucked me up. Nothing happened but I was so anxious I couldn’t sleep or eat and it affected my friendship. After that I went to see my psychiatrist because I could not go on a trip again and be stuck because I didn’t have any medication to stop it. Most times after that trip that I went on a trip, I got unexplainable anxiety. Came out of nowhere, couldn’t tie it to a thought, hurt my stomach etc. But I had hydroxyzine which helped me fall asleep without anxiety. I decided to reduce my wellbutrin in half because of a variety of reasons, one of them being my heightened anxiety. And it did seem to be a good decision to do that. I went on a trip in 2023 to a state I’ve never been to and my anxiety was pretty bad but my husband was with me so it was mostly manageable but I kept losing my appetite and not wanting to eat. We went to a 6 course dinner and I had to get up in between every plate to run to the bathroom cuz I had anxiety runs.
I came home from that and went to see my psychiatrist and explained my anxiety was mostly a bodily response and I wasn’t noticing anything in my brain. She said meds are really good for the worries but it didn’t sound like I had that so try making sure I had substance in my stomach since maybe I had so much stomach acid it was making me feel sick.
I didn’t have a trip for 7 months to test this theory until this last weekend. The whole week leading up to the trip I would have moments of anxiety but I usually took a deep breath and it went away. The travel day was pretty bad but I kept food in my stomach but I kept noticing myself checking in with myself seeing if I felt okay or not. Constantly. Then it became of fear of getting anxiety and ruining my friends’ time with me. And the anxiety of getting anxiety and feeling unwell not in my comforting space. Every single day was so hard. I could barely bring myself to eat food. I became anxious about mealtimes coming up and if I would be able to nourish myself. I had moments of relief, and one almost full day of no anxiety but I ended up coming home two days early because I couldn’t hang.
But even as I’ve been home, my anxiety hasn’t gone away. I was anxious walking through the mall with my husband. I didn’t want to eat dinner. I think about my next trip coming up and I feel a pit in my stomach wondering if I’ll be able to enjoy myself. Waking up yesterday I felt my heart rate immediately spike and the anxiety start to come on. I talked to my psychiatrist and she asked why I didn’t take the xanax I had with me. I am scared it wont work or will make me feel flat or make be all delirious in my head. I dont want to become reliant on it. She explained it is a tool and would I refuse pain meds if I’m about to have surgery? No. I decided to go off my wellbutrin because I’m curious if that is making me more anxious since my depression is so much better. She said I should give it a week and see how I feel after the wellbutrin is out of my system and giving space to my bad experience on my trip and if I still feel worried about my upcoming trip we can start Zoloft. This morning I’m still anxious, and I’m starving but I can’t think of any food that seems palatable and I don’t want to get out of bed and I feel extremely hopeless that I’ll never get better and wont be able to experience new things again. I’m scared Zoloft wont work or it will eventually hurt me or my anxiety will get worse and I just feel completely debilitated.

My fellow gamers, for too long has our community suffered the indignation of an intolerable culture that has denigrated, besmirched, exploited, and has outright demonized our culture of unique individuals with a genuine love of a hobby that they see as profitable and progressive. They have taken beloved IP’s (Intellectual Properties) and twisted them into their own personal ideological crusade of undermining and humiliating the core aspects of characters they deemed as “Toxic” or “White Supremacy”. Through the guise and protection of DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusivity) & ESG (Environmental, Social, and Governance) they have used our influence in the entertainment industry to push their narratives and agendas that have stigmatized our culture with numerous anti-consumer practices that they call “being progressive”. But the truth of the matter is they were never really looking to be a part of our community, they simply wanted to use our community as a tool of activism and propaganda in the entertainment industry as it was extremely profitable, and they wanted inclusion in that division. Ever since GamerGate & Female Frequency, we have had to endure the incursion of forced ideologies, xenophobic behaviors and inferior overpriced products that have never been in our best interest and have been flat out disgraceful towards foreign media.
Before Gaming had become a major source of entertainment, we were often categorized as anti-social or societies rejects where because we found more enjoyment in playing fictional characters and not spending as much time out and about, we never fully assimilated in society (which is a good thing if you ask me). From 1998 to 2007, at the height of innovation, creativity and production, Gaming had reached a golden age in which it had revolutionized society. Hollywood Execs who had ruined the movie industry turned their attention to video games as a source of income since video games had outperformed movies in terms of profit. No one was concerned about gaming, much less diversity or inclusivity until it became profitable. This makes people like SBI look extremely disingenuous as they were not interested in gamers as a community with its own culture. They simply wanted to use it as another weapon in identity politics.
Microtransactions; the hidden enemy to gamer progress and inducer to mental laziness of our community. Microtransactions have been around for a long time; however, it has never been more potent and apparent than in recent years. It has aided in the dismantling and segregation of players on the ideology of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and has created another sub-culture of gamers who have no real drive to be better outside of how much money they put into the game. This has degraded our culture as well as we have become “fat” off transactional gaming but at the same time we have been “starved” of purposeful gaming where our achievements were our sustenance. I am not saying that microtransactions are bad, but when they are exploitative and predatorial like they have been and don’t give gamers room to grow, we become lethargic and unwilling to improve ourselves as gamers. Oversaturated microtransactional games are one of the many reasons why we have become complacent and unwilling to fight against the exploitative tactics used by big brand game companies such EA, Ubisoft, ActivisionBlizzard, NaughtyDog and so many other western business model companies. Western style games were not like this in the past, they had much more depth and actual effort put into them with the gamer in mind. This has not been the case for over a decade and our connection to western developers has been whittled down to just being transactional. That is one of the reasons why you see so many remasters and remakes in today’s gamer community. They have lost their willingness to improve as developers of games and simply accept corporate/share holder rules.
Game journalists also do not have any real integrity or purpose outside of being funded for their involvement in promoting IPG (Identity Political Games) in a positive light to the public whether it’s positively received or not. They are not interested in what we have to say, they all support the same agenda and that is why they are a dying breed. Within the next couple of years, they will be out of the job and more than likely they will not be able to stay in the industry giving how they have responded to past articles that have clearly been scripted on the premise of diversity and racism. Not only that, but most of them are also extremely hostile to the community as they stereotype and defame the individuals that are a part of the community they are supposed to serve. We have been mentally liberated from their lies and coercive tactics as we tend to laugh at their obvious attempt at virtue signaling while hiding their misdoings so that they can play the victim.
My gamer brothers & sisters, I would not suggest the following action that we must take now without good cause. I have weighed our options and the best option for us now is this…...CULTURAL SECESSION. Naturally this is a form of segregation where they would more than likely claim they are being segregated by the dominant culture of the gaming community but that is incorrect. For years now we have been the ones who are often marginalized and ostracized for the smaller portion of our community. And when we aren’t, we’re exploited for more funds so that these companies can stay in business only to subject us to low quality products that coincide with the “WOKE Agenda” that are often huge expenses to these big brands i.e. AAA/AAAA games that will eventually flop for its obvious forced diversity and bug infested product which will undoubtedly piss off the consumer to the point of wanting a refund. Losing copious amounts of capital and stock in the process, not to mention their reputation is permanently marred.
We must separate on every cultural level in terms of entertainment and ideology. We must reject everything from the west that promotes toxic western beliefs, practices, and exclusion from other cultures (i.e. Southeastern Countries such as Japan and Korea). Japan & Korea have been the targets of unjust discrimination from Western Developers, Western Journalists, Western Localizers (The Wokelizers) and Western Society Prejudice regarding their sense of aesthetics as Westerners hate the aesthetic sense of these countries. The reason why they resort to such base tactics isn’t just because it weaponizes the ideal female form but it’s also because they have deep-seated insecurities about their own looks so when they see attractive female characters, they use terms such as “unrealistic” or “hypersexualized” to establish the moral high ground. But the truth is, they want to feel superior to that which is ideal, so they insult and dehumanize this figure that portrays natural female beauty because they see it as an insult to their own social superiority in what they believe is a hierarchy of them being at the top of all other women. Because of this and so many contributing factors, their movies flop harder than the Fat Chocobo landing on a group of enemies and their games seismically fail just as much if not more. We must sever our connection to Western Developers, Publishers, and ALL Western-Centric Entertainment for they seek to mentally enslave us to their Xenophobic ideology.
Let’s define Western Culture and its traits. Western Culture/Society is composed of more than several different ideologies that work in unison with one another to facilitate dominance over multiple aspects of society. Business, Social, Political, Technological, and sometimes even Global Affairs are affected by these ideologies that portray a specific mindset of Western beliefs. What are those ideologies you ask?

• Perpetual Victimhood: By weaponizing the fact that they are marginalized and of a small portion of western society, they can push their agenda to absurd standards that ultimately ostracize the main demographic. And when companies don’t capitulate, they are labeled as anti-progressive/misogynist’s or cohorts of White Supremacy. They use this to cancel their targets and silence them through societal defamation to keep the public on their side. They also use this mindset to justify their own lack of self-agency as they tend to throw companies who do adhere to their demands but miserably fail to turn a profit under the bus so that they can maintain face in front of the public while denying their actual involvement. They will never accept “Sense of Agency” when it’s negative but will gladly accept it when a positive outcome shines on them as if they are entitled to it.

Official Wiki GamerGate Page)
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• Societal Terrorism: This is another form of ideology weaponization that they use in order to make companies “toe-the-line” with their agenda. By weaponizing cancel culture, they exert dominance over these companies but in exchange they also reimburse those companies with DEI & ESG funds that raise their credit score as well as having social status with the marginalized demographic. However; cancel culture has not succeeded in years and developers and publishers probably only want the money and the DEI ESG rating. But they have to maintain the image of having social economic power so that they can continue to strong-arm other developers into compliance and promoting financial benefits of DEI & ESG. In other words, if you are not for sale, they discredit and stigmatize you in the industry.

Asmongold Clips.
https://youtu.be/Iq86DnmX2xY
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• “Its not us, its you who’s wrong” Mentality: This mentality is especially annoying as they tend to use it to hide their incompetence. They often look down upon gamers who are not in the industry to hide their obvious lack of knowledge on game development thinking that their job title grants them special status that they believe gives them the right to be condescending. But the truth they never wanted revealed has already strangled their careers of all credibility. They were never GAMERS, they were INVADERS. Community Colonists that seek to indoctrinate next generational gamers into their hive-mind and brand previous generations of gamers as villains.

@GeeksandGamers
https://youtu.be/1HbrTkqQFuM
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• Double-standard Enforcement: By labeling something as “unrealistic” or “hypersexualized”, they can claim this is morally wrong if it promotes traditional dynamics between men and women. Heterosexual relationships are condemned while at the same time Same-sex relationships are praised. Additionally, heterosexual relationships with main white male characters turn antagonistic and spotlight stealing. This is deliberate as to promote the “Girl Boss” ideology to indoctrinate women into the Feminazi state of mind. While at the same time, should a male character also adopt the “I don’t need male/female” ideology its seen as Toxic Masculinity which isn’t even a real thing. The idea of a strong male character is taboo while enforcing strong female characters is the ideal.

@MugenLord
https://youtu.be/to5Uciy_yeg
@EndymionTv
https://youtu.be/7TPTR8-qmbk
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• Dehumanization/Demonization: This is something that most military branches use in order to remove conscious inhibitions such as mass slaughter is wrong or categorization. By enforcing ideologies to denounce humanity in certain targets, it deactivates your conscience by saying this is not human therefore its ethically okay to treat this target without compassion and deny the fact it has sentience. We gamers fall under this category for journalists, developers, companies and society at large. This is a tactic we are familiar with to an extent as it implies that we are not normal when we do not do what everybody else is doing. “Geeks are the worse” or “Nerds need to fall into a pit of lava” are verbal dehumanization forms that most people in society say and we as Gamers tend to be relegated to those categories. This is their way of imposing the social hierarchy on us by establishing superiority. We know this as Gamers as we see it very often in the games that we play and some times experience it in real life.

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Gamergate#The_end_of_their_relevance
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• Deflection/Projection: This is basic psychology 101. By redirecting the conversation away from their mistakes and back on to the opposing view to avert blame and justify their innocence they can avoid criticism. However; deflection is a CONSCIOUS decision, meaning they have no real argument to justify their incompetence. If you can consciously process the situation, you have self-agency which means you don’t have a legitimate excuse. Projection is something else entirely. Most times, Projection doesn’t work on conscious decisions rather it is automatically deployed when feeling threatened, anxious or both. Instead of accepting accountability for feelings or actions that are deemed socially unacceptable they accuse others of committing that unacceptable behavior thereby exonerating themselves and proving that those feelings and/or actions are not their own.

@TheTrentReport
https://youtu.be/bPIPSKruYRo
These traits are so nefarious and unconscionable that I have a hard time believing that anyone could harbor them. However, given the social, political, and economic climate that we are in, those in power who use their influence on controlling society most definitely possess these insidious traits. Everything that they do is all about control and since video games are the biggest market in the world, they want control over it and the communities built around it to accrue more wealth and to use that wealth to subjugate other cultures. Mainstream media is a tool as well as mainstream organizations and sites to help accomplish this goal.
The government recently announced its intentions towards what they believe is “GamerGate 2.0” and now even the ADL has made an official appearance, referring to gamers as “extremist’s”. We know EXACTLY what they are doing, and they aren’t even trying to hide it anymore because they don’t think we are aware of their motives. This is just a pretext for them to exert even more control and we know why, it’s because they want the influence we as a community have to must serve them. So here is what we do my fellow gamers-
“In light of recent events and years of mainstream stigma, we the members of the Global Gaming Community [GGC] must officially renounce ALL TIES to the corporate western video game market. We have been financially exploited through predatorial monetization schemes, pelted with numerous articles of disdain and intentional misrepresentation from game journalists, news outlets regarding us as dangerous individuals and, even subjected to inferior products not only riddled with bugs but also products meant to push political agendas. For the preservation of our community and its unique culture, apart from a few select game development studios we officially sever all connections to western owned video game companies & their mainstream affiliates. From this point onward, we will no longer support western corporate developers, journalists and publishers that do not coincide with the goals of our community.”
Naturally this is completely optional. If you are okay with the state of the gaming community as it is, feel free to ignore this. But if you wish for real change and a break away from oversaturated monetization in the games you play and the push for radical ideological reform, then you are in the right place. Lets sever these rotted miasmic ties once and for all so that our community can be preserved and made better for future gamers. If you agree with this, share it with whoever you think might be interested. The more gamers who get involved, the easier it will be for us to finally break free from mainstream game companies and their associates.

if this was your child’s second time being encouraged to go to summer school would you have them evaluated by a doctor to see if they have a learning disability?
my child is going into 2nd grade and her teacher suggested summer school to prevent her from falling behind so she will be attending. but should i be getting her screened for a potential learning disability? she has some signs of adhd and i know it presents differently in girls. her test scores are her downfall but otherwise knows most of the material. i hate to write it off as just test taking anxiety.

So, I'm in a relationship with a girl for the past 4 years. Currently, I'm residing outside India and have been for almost 2 years. We both were very serious about it from day one. Our parents met last December for the first time, and then again last March. Everyone in the family is extremely happy, as am I, since we are planning to marry at the end of December this year or early next year. I certainly love her from the bottom of my heart and she also loves me a lot. However, during the last few months, there have been issues after issues, and now I'm deeply concerned about our future. She is the only girl I have dated, and it was almost a blessing for me as from day one I imagined her as my better half.
Now, coming to the core issues between us, I have jotted down all the points that bother both of us along with her responses. I have tried to be as neutral as possible and removed our personal biases from it.

Anecdote One

This happened a couple of months back when her parents met my parents for the second time. Everything was looking good, but it seemed she was a bit unhappy. I asked her many times, but she was hesitant from the beginning. Later, she said I didn't appreciate her much and I don't understand her fully. Initially, I was hesitant to accept it, but I realized there is certainly an issue that needed to be addressed as we are not living together for a long time (I usually visit India once a year and stay with her for almost a month). I agreed with her and she was certainly right that I don't appreciate her enough. Regarding knowing her, I said it's a long process; I certainly don't know everything but I will try to do much better once we live together. Apparently, the fight was sorted and we both were very happy.

Anecdote Two

She has mostly male friends in her group from childhood to college and even at work, which is completely normal in this day and age. I certainly don't have a problem with male friends, but there are two folks that I don't like, though she admires them. There was no fight as such until last month as I accepted they were just friends. Somehow, last month both visited her place for 5 days and, as they were new to the city, they stayed together. To be honest, I was a bit unhappy as there was only a single room and she had to sleep in the drawing room on the sofa. But to be fair to them, this was not the issue. I understood that since both hadn't met for 6 months, they wanted to spend some time together and have fun. There was a day when I was a bit unhappy as she was not picking up the call or responding to texts. I then slept due to the late night in my place. Apparently, she was very angry about the incident and told me, "You don't really care about me being happy, you wouldn't have messed up the thing that day."
As she was very angry, I said sorry to her and assured her that it wouldn't happen next time for sure.
A few days later, when things seemed to be normal from our end, deep down I couldn't understand my fault. I believed and felt that she was not acting normal when they were there with her. I said I didn't like the idea of inviting the boys to her place and staying with them and the way they were holding each other (I'm not against hugs, but it didn't feel like just a hug; it felt a bit different, a bit romantic). To which she said, "Nobody has the right to tell me what I want to do in my life, I live life by my own choices."
She has written a long paragraph about the following incident and I'm quoting it verbatim: "Because I was the happiest kid who was having all the fun and where I felt I was perfect the way I was, not because I am, but because they made me feel so. Not for a single second did I lose a smile on my face. The child within me lived to the fullest. My madness was at its peak."
After this, I couldn't respond to anything. Now she is planning to stay at their flat for a week next month.

Anecdote Three

Last week, I was on a business trip and lots of our colleagues visited my office, including many colleagues from India. However, there were a couple of Indian colleagues who were a bit off from their normal behavior. They were throwing garbage in the bus, not following traffic rules, creating a ruckus in the bar after drinking a lot, and didn't arrive at the most important presentation because they planned a city tour. I can understand they are visiting the place for the first time, but I was a bit unhappy about their behavior. I shared the story with her and, strangely enough, she supported them. She said, "You are too serious about life. Don't stop people from enjoying." I disagreed as it was a very important event for our department. She said her male best friend would do the same and that life is for enjoyment. I didn't argue after that point.
I don't know what to say. I'm a bit anxious and nervous. If I say something, as she has said I'm considering my decision to marry you!, but I really wanted to know: Am I wrong to ask her? As things will not matter in the long term, am I being too insecure about my partner? For me, it's hard to share the same room/flat where only three of them will stay.
PS One for things which pisses me off is she is keeping their T Shirt with her. As a memory which I don't understand a bit.

I don’t know how I got here. But let me explain-
I’m in my late 20s and dating a guy in his early 30s. I have always had a huge heart, very caring and it’s hard for me to lessen my emotions. I’ve always dreamed of a fairy tale type love and I’m definitely I lover girl.
I met this guy online, and we hit it off right away. We have known each other for 2 months now. Even on our first date, we realized how much we had in common, it was almost unbelievable. We both kinda took things fast. Saying over at each other’s places for days, endless laughter, deep conversations, and jokes.
I know it might sound weird to some, but I legit feel like I’m falling in love with this guy.
I still have some growing to do. I have been in therapy and didn’t realize I needed some more growth until I started dating this guy. I started getting triggered by him not texting back enough or me being drunk and getting jealous. Things that didn’t come up until we started dating. He broke this off last week saying that he doesn’t want to do this, but he thinks I just need some more growing and healing. I totally agree with him and told him we shouldn’t talk but he said “never say never” He then called me not even 24 hours later and we started to talk again. He came over on the weekend and we had such an amazing time. After he left, I called him to tell him that I am confused and what we are doing. He said he would like to keep talking but to take a step back so I can work on loving myself. He said it’s not in his mind to talk to anyone else, he just thinks we went too fast and we need to take a step back. I genuinely think he is being genuine but I can’t help but feel so strongly about him. I don’t want to lose him forever because I literally have never met anyone like him but I also feel like it may be too painful to keep talking. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know how I got here. But let me explain-
I’m in my late 20s and dating a guy in his early 30s. I have always had a huge heart, very caring and it’s hard for me to lessen my emotions. I’ve always dreamed of a fairy tale type love and I’m definitely I lover girl.
I met this guy online, and we hit it off right away. We have known each other for 2 months now. Even on our first date, we realized how much we had in common, it was almost unbelievable. We both kinda took things fast. Saying over at each other’s places for days, endless laughter, deep conversations, and jokes.
I know it might sound weird to some, but I legit feel like I’m falling in love with this guy.
I still have some growing to do. I have been in therapy and didn’t realize I needed some more growth until I started dating this guy. I started getting triggered by him not texting back enough or me being drunk and getting jealous. Things that didn’t come up until we started dating. He broke this off last week saying that he doesn’t want to do this, but he thinks I just need some more growing and healing. I totally agree with him and told him we shouldn’t talk but he said “never say never” He then called me not even 24 hours later and we started to talk again. He came over on the weekend and we had such an amazing time. After he left, I called him to tell him that I am confused and what we are doing. He said he would like to keep talking but to take a step back so I can work on loving myself. He said it’s not in his mind to talk to anyone else, he just thinks we went too fast and we need to take a step back. I genuinely think he is being genuine but I can’t help but feel so strongly about him. I don’t want to lose him forever because I literally have never met anyone like him but I also feel like it may be too painful to keep talking. I don’t know what to do.

Doing another reread of Blood Meridian, and just finished the section of David Brown’s arrest through the Yuma Massacre of the gang. I feel like this obviously is a very pivotal moment in the gang’s history as it lead to their destruction, but also has an air of mystery surrounding some of the events in this time frame that fascinates me. I’d like show a few points that come to mind and some questions to fellow readers.
Glanton’s Apathy: “Glanton supervised with some interest the raising of the walls about him but otherwise left his men to pursue the business at the crossing with a terrible latitude. He seemed to take little account of the wealth they were amassing although daily he’d open the brass lock with which the wood and leather trunk in his quarters was secured and raise the lid and empty whole sacks of valuables into it.” After establishing themselves taking over the ferry and robbing those who came to use it, I get the feeling Glanton just falls into a state of complete apathy. He seemed to have no interest in how his men ran the ferry or even how much money they were making with this new racket. After spending basically the whole novel up to this point going from one place to another to kill people or stay a step ahead of harm’s way, at the ferry he is simply existing. What is the reason behind this sudden loss of all motivation?
Rescue of David Brown: So Davy lights an officer on fire and gets thrown in jail. After Toadvine and Webster tells Glanton, he immediately rounds up 5 nameless gang members and sets off towards San Diego to rescue him. Two questions I’ve pondered on this event: Would Glanton have launched a rescue if it was anyone else in the gang? And, why did he not take any of his veterans with him? This question leads into the next topic, but I find it strange that he leaves behind the judge and basically all the named gang members who we know have been riding with him a while to rob harmless travelers while he goes on what could be a dangerous rescue mission.
Glanton Abandoned: After finding out that David Brown escaped jail, Glanton and his men spend two days getting blackout drunk and getting into a fight with soldiers. Then comes the line: “Glanton returned to Yuma alone, his men gone to the gold fields.” This casual reference to Glanton’s five men just leaving him in San Diego and hunting for gold went unnoticed to me on my first reading, but stuck out to me this time. At several points in the novel there’s mentions of Glanton or someone else in the gang inquiring about a missing gang member, and then we literally just had Glanton traveling to rescue another to not leave him behind, but then here all of a sudden we have a handful of his gang members just leaving for good and there’s no reaction by him or further action taken. Did the men tell him about their plan? Did he give his blessing? Or did they sneak off while he was drunk? I can’t imagine say Webster or Henderson Smith taking off like this, so again makes me wonder why Glanton picked who he did to go on his rescue mission, and not any of his more trusted fighters.
The judge in charge: During Glanton’s estimated two week absence, the judge had been appointed to be in charge of the ferry operations. Upon Glanton’s return, there are a few examples that immediately point towards things being off… The first thing he sees is “a young Mexican girl was crouched naked under the shade of the wall. She watched him ride past, covering her breasts with her hands. She wore a rawhide collar about her neck and she was chained to a post.” Next he rides into the compound, and finds it empty, no one is around. Riding down to look at the river, “the doctor came scrambling down the bank and seized Glanton by the foot and began to plead with him in a senseless jabber. He’d not seen to his person in weeks and he was filthy and disheveled and he tugged at Glanton’s trouserleg and pointed toward the fortifications on the hill. That man, he said. That man.” The judge is on the rise of the hill, naked except for a loose robe, with his new acolyte Black Jackson standing beside him in a similar garb. Later we have the passage: “By evening the drunkenness and revelry had begun afresh and the *shrieks of young girls** carried across the water to the pilgrims huddled in their camp*.”
So obviously some weird stuff has gone down in the last couple weeks. Young girls are chained outside on posts, the judge and at least one other gang member is strutting around basically naked except for a loose cloth, and it seems like it’s become a regular occurrence that the night it filled with the screams of young girls. The judge’s short rule over the ferry has made the doctor go mad with fright, and it seems his influence of turning some of the other men to his level of debauchery has taken root. (I don’t believe all of the men would partake in his ways, I think one of the reasons for the Tobin and kid to be so wary and antagonistic towards the judge at the well after the attack was because they saw what a monster he had become).
There’s a lot to unpack with what is going on in just a couple pages. To me it seems the judge has turned the ferry into his personal underage carnival of pleasure and sadism. His actions caused the doctor to run to Glanton of all people to try and help, even though the doctor is well aware of what type of man Glanton is. The lesser of two evils? Perhaps the doctor picked up that Glanton had been the only man who was able to keep the judge in check, and as soon as he was gone the judge was now off leash and immediately took the situation to an extreme. Unfortunately for the doctor and the young girls at the men’s mercy, Glanton’s apathy continues and he just goes to his quarters to get drunk.
Glanton’s Death - Coincidence, or Planned? - After my last reading of this section with Glanton being split to the thrapple, I had the thought “damn he got unlucky.” Like he was gone for two weeks or more, shows back up to camp, and then the Yumas attack and wipe out everyone. However, after that thought on the bad luck of his timing I got to thinking of the judge’s later conversation with the kid where he says that he told the jailers that the kid worked with the Yumas to plan the attack. Could someone have tipped the Yumas off to Glanton’s return as the right opportunity to attack? If it was all a coincidence, it’s something to think about that their revenge would have been a missed chance if they had attacked a couple days earlier when Glanton was still in San Diego. However, I don’t think or know why the kid would be the one to make this scheme. The only gang member really who I think could have done it and had a reason to do it is the judge. Maybe after getting a taste of power he didn’t want Glanton to ruin his fun, or maybe he felt his time with the gang had runs it’s course and he wanted to wipe them out as a sort of clean slate. Or maybe he just thought it would be funny, like what he did to Reverend Green in his introduction. What are your thoughts on the timing of the Yuma attack and the death of Glanton?
For some reason I just really love this short section in the novel, there’s a lot to think about and so few details that it leaves a lot open to the imagination.

Kind of a random thing to post but NSI season is back and I know that this time last year I was searching for some tips. If anyone finds this I was the girl who broke both her legs in Charlie 1 last year cycle 3. Anyways, here are some super random tips for those of you about to go.

1. Feminine supplies, you can bring your own and you SHOULD, what they supply are tampons and overnight pads, they will not take them from you if you bring your own. Also put your hairbrush, hair ties, and gel in a similar bag to grab. They took my bag with my stuff in them and I was stranded with 2 hair ties until we got to go to the recruit store.
   
2. Bring a backpack, not a duffel, not a suitcase. Just trust.
   
3. Wear a polo and khaki pants, if you have a unit polo and belt even better. My unit did not tell me that and it really sucked to stick out like a sore thumb. If you're a girl come with your hair done.
   
4. If you have longer hair get a donut bun or bun twisties, I used both but much preferred the twisties. They will not issue supplies to do your hair.
   
5. When you shower (if you're female or just dirty) grab your display towel and put it inside of your rack, then grab another towel from the rack and use them, you will be on your period for random times, if you stain your white towel you're screwed. Leave a tampon in until after you shower or whatever.
   
6. You wash your waterbottles with bleach, they will taste like pool water. You're not drinking bleach you're fine. Really scrub the creases with a bleach papertowel if you can, mold will start to grow in them by week 2, and will make you more sick than you already are.
   
7. You WILL get sick. Try and take 1,500mg of vitamin C every day for a week before hand.
   
8. Try and get moleskin early your feet will be torn up, layer it on everyday BEFORE you get blisters.
   
9. Get the shoe insoles and extra cough drops, drip drop, and hair gel from the recruit store.
   
10. They don't use (a lot of) salt to cook the food, layer it on you'll start to pass out due to lack of electrolytes.
    
11. ONLY PETTY OFFICERS ARE ALLOWED TO SEE CHITS, don't get bullied into anything else and don't do anything outside of your chit if you get issued one, they are orders from the medical officers.
    
12. If you get allergy medication only take it at night, it will make you drowsy all day and fall asleep during classes.
    
13. Fix your uniform and the organization of your rack at night.
    
14. Learn to count before you go, you know who you are people who can't.
    
15. Journal what you learn and your experience, you'll enjoy it afterwards.
    
16. Just turn your brain off like 80% of the day, don't think too much into anything, it's good if the petty officers and MIDN don't know your name for being stupid.
    
17. Try not to get pink eye or covid or foot fungus or strep or whatever candidate crud is floating around.
    
18. Don't give up, I broke my legs (8 stress fractures on my left and six on my right from distance running pre-NSI and a bad accident at NSI) and I was out there doing fire fighting on 5,000mg of ibuprofen to pass, it's not that bad I promise. Let the Hooyah lobotomy happen. Enjoy being a boot while at NSI.
    
19. Don't try and get your family to see graduation, let them travel for your commission, NSI graduation is lame, you get to see them for 15 mins and then get loaded on a bus right after to be shipped home anyways, but if they're close go for it.
    
20. If you like keepsakes make a 'yearbook' I took a page off of my legal page and had all of my friends sign it on the last night, with words of encouragement/fun stuff. I framed it and love to see it and all the memories.
    
21. If you're not good at something ask someone to teach you at night, people will help you if you ask. It's important that you know how to drill. You don't want to be the reason your division is smoked.
    
22. For you nervous folks the gas chamber will be the easiest thing you do. Stress about it the least.
    
23. When I was there they wrote the daily schedule on the fishbowl whiteboard every night for the next day, it's a nice way to be in the know. They also put the shit list up there.
    

That's all I can think of for now. Comment any other tips/questions :)

Finally, nicknames & sayings that Michael K used.

1. Jessica Alba- MiserAlba
2. Jennifer Aniston-Maniston
3. Marc Anthony- Skeletor
4. David Archuleta- Fetus
5. Beyonce- Histrionic Wignado
6. hris Brown- The Difficult Brown, Fist Brown
7. Mariah Carey- Elusive Chanteuse
8. Kristin Cavallari- Kristin Calamari
9. Bradley Cooper- Victor Garber's Bottom Bitch
10. Tom CruiseTommy Girl, Gay Midget Dwarf
11. Benedict Cumberbatch- Bendydick Cumsinbatches
12. Miley Cyrus- Hillbilly Chipmunk
13. Brandon Davis- Greasy Bear
14. Jason 'Gummi Bear' Davis
15. Paz de la Huerta- Spaz de la Huerta
16. Leonardo DiCaprio- Leonardo DiCatchaHo
17. Pete Doherty- Dreamboat Doherty
18. Queen Elizabeth II- THE QUEEN
19. Eminem- Feminem
20. Mel Gibson- Sugar Tits
21. Ariana Grande Latte
22. Teresa Guidice- Crouching Hairline Hidden Forehead
23. Jon Hamm- Hammaconda
24. Prince Harry- Prince Hot Ginge
25. Teri Hatcher- Teri Snatcher
26. Wonky McValtrex, Parasite Hilton- Paris Hilton
27. Katie Holmes- Stepford Katie
28. Jennifer Hudson- JHud
29. Kris Jenner- Pimp Mama Kris
30. Jay-Z- Joe Camel
31. Hugh Jackman- Hugh JackMeOff
32. LaToya Jackson- Detective LaToya
33. Jesse 'Vanilla Gorilla' James
34. Kylie Jenner- Marla Hooch
35. Angelina Jolie- Saint Angie Jo
36. Jolie-Pitt kids- Child Army
37. JLo's kids- The Dragon Tales Twins
38. Kim Kardashian- Prize Pig
39. Khloe Kardashian- Khloezilla
40. Kid Pebble- Kid Rock
41. Chuckie Trips- King Charles III
42. Solange Knowles- Basement Baby
43. Madonna- Vadge
44. Karl Lagerfeld- Kunty Karl
45. Blake 'Not So' Lively
46. Dina Lohan- White Oprah
47. Lindsay Lohan- Fire Crotch, Apricot Ashtray, Lindsanity, Hohan, Blohan
48. Marilyn Manson- Fat Brian from Ohio
49. Jodie March- England's Finest Rose
50. Christine Marinoni- Rojo Caliente
51. Matthew McConaughey- Texas TRex
52. Dean "What's crappenin'?" McDermott, The Deaner, had an opposum connection
53. Vanessa Milano- ManilaFolders
54. The Olsen Twins- The Olsen Trolls
55. Gwyneth Paltrow- Corn Broom, Fishsticks, GOOPY
56. Audrina Partridge- Ceiling Eyes
57. Brad Pitt- Brad Pittstain
58. Joaquin Phoenix- McBedbugs
59. Phoebe Price- Chicken Cutlets
60. Prince- Jehovah's Sexiest Witness
61. Emily Ratajkowski- Emily RideAJetSki
62. RHoNJ castmates- Prostitution Whore-Ah!, Hooker Grinchface, Lying Gorilla Head
63. Rihanna- Alien Princess RiRi/Princess Oonana
64. LeAnn Rimes- Falkor
65. Shauna Sand- Empress of Lucite
66. Jessica Simpson- Chestica Simpson
67. Joe Simpson- Papa Joe, Hoe Simpson
68. Britney Spears- Our Lady of Cheetos
69. Britney Spears kids- Cheetolings
70. Channing Tatum- Charming Potato
71. Taylor Swift- Tay Tay Butterscotch Sundae
72. Billy Bob Thornton- Billy Goat Thornton-
73. Brian Williams- Lyin' Williams
74. Tallulah, Scout, & Rumer Willis- Tator Sisters
75. Owen Wilson- The Butterscotch Stallion
76. Amy Winehouse's husband- BLAAAAKE!
77. Reese "American Citizen' Witherspoon, "Do you Know Who I Am?"

• Sayings

1. I don't like jokes
2. Typo & it stays
3. Something in the milk ain't clean
4. Excuse my beauty
5. Sans Fards -6) Harpo, who dis woman?
6. Sweet nectar = booze
7. Magnificent chi chis
8. And I still would
9. DAAAAAAAAMN!!!!!!! THIS IS SOME BENJAMIN BUTTONS SHIT! Used for celebrities looking old for their age (that explanation is from an actual entry in the Urban Dictionary and cited as being from DListed!)
10. Lucite Elegancia 12)Eyebrow situation
11. Michael Lohan's Mesh Shirt
12. Serving Chico's realness
13. Pepperidge Farm remembers
14. Escándalo
15. Abuelita & her chancleta
16. Sucio
17. Nalgas
18. Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me
19. Hot Slut of the Day for something or someone (non-celebrity) faabulous. They could be dogs, cats, old cranky women, brave people, etc.
20. Catherine Zeta-Jones “46”
21. Panty pudding

Hii, first time posting on Reddit, so sorry if I come off as media illiterate or something. I was accepted for this fall and I've been trying to decide between dorm halls but I'm having some trouble narrowing it down, even after looking through previous posts. I'm fairly introverted and my main focus is on the academics but I'd like to make friends and actually have some "college experiences." I know a lot of people swear by the trads because of the social life, but I'm not sure if that applies to the "only girls" floors and the not-very-private bathrooms kind of sound like my worst nightmare. That's why I was considering Maple, but I keep hearing they're very antisocial and I don't think I'd be able to go out of my way to make friends very easily. I know Spruce is new and has good amenities, but there was something about the fire alarms (?) and I'm a bit unsure about co-ed bathrooms. I don't think I want Weaver and I honestly don't know anything about Elm. If you have any advice, it would all help. Thanks!

I’m 18 now and i’ve never been in a relationship. I recently saw someone say how sad they were that they never got to experience teenage love and I feel the same after some reflection. I wasn’t a girl people showed interest in and part of that is the fact I never a) put myself out there and b) presented myself in a way where people think i’m approachable. To put it simply i’m commonly told that I give off Wednesday Adams vibes, if that helps. I realise I have a long life ahead of me where anything is possible and I wouldn’t say i’m lonely - in fact, i’m rather content with my two friends but there are times, after reading or watching something with a very beautifully written romance, that I do get a tad upset I simply don’t know what it feels like to fall in love or even have a basic crush. The most i’ve ever felt is sexual attraction or a surface level interest (where I usually fantasise about being in a relationship with them) but the feeling never go deeper.
Just some thoughts i’ve been having.

Alright, so… I (18F) kinda made this reddit account just to get some feedback about this situation, since I’m too ashamed to ask my parents. The girl in question is 16, and is probably one of the most annoying people I’ve ever met…
(TLDR: This girl I was pretending to be friends with in High School obsessively fantasized about murdering someone for an entire semester, is overbearing as a person, interrogates people on a daily basis and is nosy, injects herself into drama that isn’t her own, throws temper tantrums when she doesn’t get her way, constantly touches people and makes unwarranted comments about girl’s bodies, asked me to draw CP for her, and MADE FUN OF HER SUICIDAL BROTHER. And I wrote a hate-letter telling her that all of this stuff is a problem, but now I feel bad about it because I think she might actually have mental issues. It’s a really wild ride and a long story, so if you choose to read it, you should expect to be here for a while. And it’s High School drama, so I’ll try to discard the boring details.)
There’s this girl, who… I’ll call her Storm. You’ll find out why. Storm quickly became the most annoying person in one of my classes. Any time she talked, she didn’t have anything interesting to say, but just kept going on and on and on endlessly. It was annoying, but we just kinda played along to be nice.

Well… Around a month into school, Storme started opening up and became comfortable talking about personal topics. She told us this story about how one of her other friends (I’ll call her Katie) “betrayed” her the previous year, and then went on to talk about how much she hated Katie and didn’t care if she lived or died. (Honestly, Katie’s offense was miniscule. At most, she replaced Storm with someone else as her best friend. You know… Regular High School drama that wasn’t that deep.) 

Then Storme started saying ludicrous stuff like “I hope she falls into a volcano”, or “I hope she gets eaten by sharks falling from the sky. Like Sharknado.”. But like… She kept saying it constantly, out loud in class. She ranted about how she wanted Katie to get kidnapped by the Mafia, be flown up to the moon, and be dropped into a black hole to become “Katie-spaghetti”. It was honestly really funny at first, so me and a few other people in the class joined in a little bit and added our own stupid, childlike scenarios. (Katie has a reputation for being… A slut. That’s why it was funny at first.)
But then after this schtick got old, Storm just kept going and going and going… She ranted about Katie until it physically hurt to hear her talk anymore. Instead of adjusting herself like a normal person, she just kept yapping until everyone rolled their eyes every time she opened her mouth, because we knew she would just keep going on and on about all of the stupid ways she wanted Katie to die. Even the damn teacher told her to stop doing that, but she never listened and the teacher eventually just gave up.
Katie then gradually started to get more morbid with the things she was saying, to the point where I genuinely considered calling the cops and getting this girl some grippy socks. She talked until she became red-faced, started tweaking, and laughed in a neurotic, nervous angry way while she started wringing out her trembling hands. She genuinely looked and sounded unhinged, and what didn’t help was that she started saying stuff like “There aren’t metal detectors in this school, right?”, and “I wish I wasn’t such a good person, because if I wasn’t, I’d be acting on my impulse to cave her skull in the next time I see her. One of these days I’m going to snap and then just do it..” …Yeah, so I was genuinely considering getting the police involved in this because of those two sentences. Thankfully Katie is safe and sound to this day and Storm never acted on these “impulses”. I’m so glad it worked out that I didn’t have to call the cops, but I was seriously worried for a minute…
She continued to talk about Katie, but mostly to me. She talked about this topic endlessly, her words getting increasingly violent until Christmas break. Yeah… 5 months. She ranted about the ways she wanted Katie to die for 5 whole months. Months. But then when she was done ranting, she finally shut up.
She wrote a note to Katie after Christmas break explaining “You hurt me really badly, but I’m a Christian so I forgive you and I hope you the best”... As if she didn’t rant about her for 5 months straight. Make it make sense. But enough about that. Here’s where my fuck ups began.
I gave her my number and we started saying we were friends, even though I never liked her. I started sending her some art (I'm an artist), and she started asking me some questions about it. She asked if I had ever drawn p0rn in my life. Of course, I said no because I didn't.
And then my worst nightmare: “Have you ever drawn p0rn of them?” …Of course I didn’t, because that would be CP… Plus I’ve never thought of those characters as being “sexual”... They’re literally 14 and 15 years old.
Then basically, she made an indirect “suggestion” for me to draw them together. I said fuck no. Hell fucking no. She tried to convince me to draw them “aged up”, but again I refused. She put me off from drawing those characters ever again. I haven’t drawn them since and I don’t take my sketchbook to school anymore because I don’t want her to see my drawings and be reminded of that BS.
But enough about that… Storm is a church-going girl, and so she has a few church-going friends. (This also makes everything I’ve said before all the more ironic.).
I’ve heard many stories about how Storm interrogates other people, too. If she sees a guy/girl’s name pop up on the screen of someone she knows, she’ll pester them until they give her one of two answers: either “I’ll tell you later”, or the actual answer. She’s done that to me too, in front of everyone in class.
The thing that upsets me about this is that she claims to be “nosy”, but thinks it’s a positive attribute rather than an annoying one. She brags about being “nosy” sometimes.
And the sexual assault… Since we were in a sports medicine class, our projects involved a lot of hands-on things. That didn’t bother me by itself, but with Storm, it was a nightmare. This girl, in the process of strapping an ice bag to my thigh, called my thighs “small”, and said that I have a “beautiful body”. We also did shoulder stretching stuff the next week, and I happened to fall under her care while she stared into my eyes and made weird faces at me, all the while she made sound effects and made the process much more uncomfortable than it needed to be.
One week, we ended up as partners again and she ended up wrapping my shoulder. This shoulder-wrap wasn’t an issue for me, but having her as a partner made it an issue. As expected, she made sound effects, but this time she stated the obvious as if it was new information that nobody would have ever suspected: “Wow, this is squishing your boobies huh?”... Emphasis on the word “boobies”. Jesus Fucking Christ, it was already awkward as hell before she even brought that up, why would she say something like that?? I didn’t even realize that until she brought it up.

In fear of being subjected to her uncomfortable BS again and feeling violated, I texted her and told her that she’s been making me feel uncomfortable, and to please stop being so…. Weird. I get it’s an awkward thing to wrap up your classmate’s thigh, but that’s a moment to keep comments to yourself. Her response? “I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY-” Just… Stop it. I didn’t introduce the topic as a big deal and told her not to worry about it, but she kept apologizing for it nonstop. Just endlessly, like everything else. Even when I tried to change the subject to something else, she just kept apologizing for it practically until she went to bed. (She has a bedtime at 9:30… At 16 years old.) All of this stuff contributed to my overall hatred toward her. I don’t like her at all, and it’s a wonder I didn’t explode and insult her entire personality and deplorable behavior to her face (Meg Griffin style). Things are just so awkward and awful whenever she opens her mouth, and it just doesn't ever stop. But because of all of this, when it came time for my Senior prom, I decided to secretly invite one of my friends from that class as a plus one, and NOT Storm. I was worried that if I told her that to her face, I would all of a sudden be the new “Katie” in her conversations, because the infraction Katie did was so miniscule that it seemed to be less like a “betrayal” than what I did. (In hindsight, it was probably the other way around.) So… I just kept the whole thing to myself and so did the friend I took to prom (I’ll call her Beyonce. Because… She loves Beyonce.). If this wasn’t bad enough, strap in because not even three weeks ago, Beyonce was doing her usual schtick of making fun of random things. She once made fun of cool whip and the entire state of Texas at the same time and somehow made it make perfect sense. She should really have a comedy show, I swear. But this time, Beyonce was making fun of the name “Gage”, saying “Why would anyone name their kid after a 12-gage shotgun?” and “People named Gage seem untrustworthy. I wouldn’t want to be near one in a zombie apocalypse, because he’d just feed me to those fuckers.”. Funny stuff. Storm then said “My brother’s name is Gage”, and in order to preserve the flow of the conversation (and also to tick her off a little, I’m ngl), Beyonce asked her: “Is your brother untrustworthy?” And then without a single millisecond wasted, she said, in a Disney Channel comedy fashion: “Welll… We can’t trust him with his own life, sooo…”.. And then she laughed as if it was funny. Like.. Rib-stitches type of laughing. ….So then the others (understandably) went quiet, which left only me and her. Then my idiot ass decided to say what I was thinking at that moment: “You don’t seem to be taking it seriously. That’s your brother, but you don’t sound sympathetic at all.” I felt bad for that statement, so I apologized for it over text when I got home from school. Quickly, we erupted into an argument, (with me holding back), and she ended up saying “What does it matter to you? He’s not your brother. If Beyonce said that about her brother, you’d laugh. But when I do, it’s bad.”. Beyonce’s brother is 8 years old…. So no, that would be even worse. …So then I had to explain to her how human decency works, and how making fun of your s*icidal siblings isn’t funny whatsoever and how that joke could be considered to be in very poor taste, even for people who like dark humor. When me, Beyonce or Mark made “suicide” jokes, it was about OURSELVES and it was usually in a statement like “I don’t want to take a test next period, I’m gonna kms.”... …Storm ended up getting so mad that we weren’t having a conversation anymore; we were just throwing shit around. I told her that if she was being livestreamed at that moment, she’d be bashed on the whole internet for a week or so and be called “evil” for that joke. In hindsight I shouldn’t have said that, but my goal was to tell her how people perceive those jokes. I ended the conversation and the next day, I apologized to her again. I retracted my statements and told her that I was sorry for talking out of line. She accepted the apology, and things went back to “normal”. She forgot about it, but I didn’t. …So here are the reasons why I feel bad, before I delve into the contents of the “hate letter” I wrote to her. Here’s a list of my crimes: 

• I pretended to be her friend for an entire school year.
• I hid the fact that I was going to prom with Beyonce from her, and then lied to her face repeatedly whenever she asked if I went to prom or not.
• I got into business that wasn’t my own and criticized her.
• I wrote a hate-letter to her that I directed her to read at home on the last day of school.

…Here’s why I feel bad: Storm doesn’t seem to be emotionally intelligent and is unable to control her mouth whenever she feels strong emotions. All she wants is to be listened to and understood, but nobody can and nobody truly wants to. She feigns confidence and goes overboard with compliments in the hopes of catching the attention of people who want to be friends with her. She’s not used to change and is very naive, to the point where (just yesterday) she quit her job at a fast food restaurant after only the first day of working there. For the longest time she didn’t have access to the internet, so she doesn’t really have a means to connect with other people through sharing videos or memes or whatever.

…I feel like a bad person because I knowingly, intentionally played into all of this just for the pathetic reason of making her shut up in class. It’s despicable what I did, and I’m beating myself up for it every day. I was just originally going to leave the school, block her and never talk to her ever again in my life, but when she made that joke about her brother, I decided (stupidly) to take it upon myself to be the bearer of bad news. I gave her a letter. Within the “hate letter”, it isn’t actually hate, per se. It’s more like… A report on the behavior she needs to fix, as well as an admission to my lies over the course of this whole year. I told her the awful truth. I told her about everything I mentioned in this post and tried to keep it “professional”, though I did end up going as far as to say “you have all of the attributes of an obnoxious piece of stale bread”........... And what’s worse is… I told her to read it on the last day of school, and my reasoning is pathetic at best. I told her to read it on the last day of school because I didn’t want her to burden the class with her nonstop ranting about me, since she, Mark and Beyonce are sophomores and I’m the only senior in the “friend group”, which means that I left the school an entire week earlier than them. I’ve been intentionally delaying her pain and still talking to her over text acting like things are “normal” so that she doesn’t read it early, knowing damn well that on that last day of school, my words are going to hurt her so badly that she might not be able to recover for a while. In the letter, I told her that by the time she reads it, I would have already blocked her because I don’t want any more conversation with her due to me feeling so bad and having nothing more to say. If the plan goes right, she’ll read it on May 23rd, and on that day I will block her. I feel awful for all of this. I feel like a monster for this. It’s painful knowing that I’m going to cause her pain and that I planned when it’s going to happen, but at the same time I feel like she deserves it. But at the same time, I know damn well that it wasn’t my place to do that. I should have left everything alone. Nobody I can talk to irl would even hear me out; they’d just stop at the words “hate letter”, which means my only option is to seek advice from people on Reddit. Do my motives for doing things make sense? Am I actually a bad person for this? Am I the asshole? Does she deserve what she’s getting? 

Edit 1: I removed some asterisks (they're annoying). Edit 2: I attempted to shorten it or say things in simple terms. I also fixed spacing and stuff. Sorry.

I think it’s a good time for people to revisit some of Min Heejin’s previous personal and creative choices. When you see everything together it no longer looks like a couple of coincidences but a long leading pattern of behavior
I’ve tried to link as much as I can. Please let me know if need to edit or add anything. None of the MV links are the actual music videos and are instead stills posted on Imgur
-Hyein’s top in the Attention MV was a bralette while the older members all were more covered up. Hyein is 14 in this MV
-In the Attention MV their laptop falls to the ground as they’re on a video call and the people on the other end watch them dance
-Minji wears a shirt that says pimp is yours
-Min Heejin does a interview with BE(ATTITUDE) Magazine. She talks a bit about Hyein

Our youngest member is cool and sophisticated. She came to my home one day and we ate together, went to the bookstore, and walked around the neighborhood, talking about this and that. There was a passing awkwardness, but after a while it felt like I was taking a walk with a friend. She’s got so many talents and amazing skills. She’s young, but thoughtful, with that innocence they have at that age. I still remember bathing in her refreshing energy, and the sublime weather only added to the effect.

-NewJeans officially releases Cookie which is filled with sexual innuendo lyrics. Their ages at this point are 18, 17, 17, 16, and 14. Cookie was written by two native English speakers.
-Min Heejin posts a picture on Instagram that includes the Histoire de Melody Nelson album by Serge Gainsbourg on display in her apartment. The album’s storyline is about a middle age man who takes a 14 year old’s virginity
-Min Heejin posts a picture on Instagram of Olivia Hussey and Leonard Whiting’s nude scene from the 1968 movie Romeo and Juliet. Olivia was 15 at the time of filming and Leonard was 16. (The actors have actually sued Paramount over the nudity in this scene you can read about it here)
-Min Heejin posts several pictures that include a “Baby Brooke” picture as decoration in her apartment. Brooke Shields was extremely sexually exploited as a child
-Min Heejin posts a picture that includes a still from the 1974 film Le Farò de Padre. The IMDb page for the film. The plot is an older man plans to marry a mentally-challenged, sex-crazed, adolescent girl.
-Danielle gets styled like Mathilda from Léon the Professional. Mathilda is played by 12 year old Natalie Portman and there are many inappropriate themes/hintings between her and the titular character who was portrayed by 46 year old Jean Reno.
There are also these two posts that she made but I do not know who they are if they are also celebrities/actors. I’m also sorry for the bad screenshot quality of her Instagram posts, she has since deleted these so these screenshots are from Twitter
-Min Heejin responds to the Instagram post controversy in a interview with JoongAng Ilbo.She says that all of the pictures of minors she had on her wall were gifted to her from a couple years ago. She also says that pimp is yours and Cookie are slang.
-The music video of OMG is taking place in a mental hospital with all of the members having different mental issues.
-Haters are directly talked to at the end of the OMG MV as one of the members stops another one from writing a hate comment on Twitter and tells the other member it’s time to go. The hate comment says “Does anyone else feel uncomfortable watching the MV?”
-NewJeans gets into a controversy ahead of their ETA release as there are many similarities with a Spanish terrorist cult(Euskadi Ta Askatasuna)). The teaser video said staring Mikel, Maria, and Eva which are names people connected to the cult. The release date of ETA(July 21st) was also the date of two separate cult attacks in different years.
-The MV for Cool With You stars Jung Hoyeon as a woman who follows around and falls in love with a man who is unable to see her as she is some sort of invisible entity like Eros. She is able to become human after standing naked in the rain. The 5 members of NewJeans are basically her guardian angels and have been watching over her the entire time including a scene where Hoyeon gets on top of the man as he’s sleeping
Min Heejin worked at SM Entertainment from 2002 until 2018. These are some controversial moments that she was involved in during that time at SM
please note that I did not actively follow her career at that point so if I got any information wrong please let me know
-The Happiness MV from Red Velvet references the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and 9/11. The MV was edited to get rid of the collage.
-Red Velvet releases Ice Cream Cake which is filled with sexual innuendos. The ages of the members at this point are 23, 21, 21, 18, and Yeri being 16.
-This photoshoot for Red Velvet’s Rookie which I personally think fetishizes the members in a Lolita style. Yeri is 17
-Shinee’s topless photoshoot for Sherlock. Jonghyun’s body had too much muscle definition so they photoshopped it to make his body more boyish.
-The MV for NCT Dream’s My First And Last includes the members being students who are in love with their female teacher. The members ages at this point are also 18, 17, 16, 16, 16, 15, and 15.
-The MV for NCT 127’s Fire Truck includes shooting a young looking girl with water.
-The MV for Super Junior’s Devil had a 14 year old actress
Related to the recent Kakaotalk texts that were leaked where Min Heejin calls some of the members fat - here is a predebut video of the members of NewJeans talking with Min Heejin. The girls are only eating vegetables

Min Hee Jin: How is it?
Hyein: It’s so good. I think after coming here, I got used to this healthy taste. So now I like such foods.
Min Hee Jin: Wow, finally something good to hear. Hyein originally liked meat, though.
Hyein: Yeah. I still like meat but, well.

I'm the same guy that posted that the Independent Order of Odd Fellows cemetery by Acker park was in disrepair and tried finding resources to help turn it around. Here's the link if anyone is interested. I'm still trying.
While walking through the cemetery I came across a gravestone marked "G.M. Robbins - The "End of the Trail" for "Yellowstone Pete" after 25,000 miles by mule train, may he rest in peace" and it got me interested in finding out more about the person. It turns out that Yellowstone Pete holds a place in Americana culture, and really did travel by mule train. There are several pictures linked here that have him, his wife, and mules. I'd love to hear more about him if anyone has more details.
Imgur album of photos I collected. The one that has "OH HOW WE HATE TO WORK" is a postcard that I ordered from Etsy while researching Yellowstone Pete.
There's even a poem about his only daughter.
Yellowstone Pete's Only Daughter was originally published in the book “Rhymes from a Round-up Camp, 1903, and written by Wallace David Coburn in 1894. The book of poetry has been published in 21 different editions. Coburn wrote the preface of the book in Malta, Montana.
Yes, this is the Milk River Valley,
And that's the old ranch that you see,
Where Yellowstone Pete lost his daughter,
The pride of the 7 U. P.
Was she pretty?-Well, stranger, your knowledge
Of these parts is shore incomplete,
When you ask such a comical question
'Bout the daughter of Yellowstone Pete.
Why, man! If the heavens were bluer,
And pansies were deeper in hue ,
They couldn't "size up" with her peepers,
Which shone like the spring poet's dew.
Her teeth were like snowdrops made whiter,
Her hair like the sealskin she wore,
Only softer and silkier and browner,
And she was true blue to the core.
Was old Yellowstone Pete's only daughter,
Whose voice was the envy of birds,
As she warbled at night to the long-horns,
Or when pointing her father's trail herds.
She was happy and good and as loving
As an angel could possibly be,
With always a smile and a greeting,
For tough old cow-punchers like me.
But what I was startin' to narrate,
Before you cut into the game,
Was a love affair she tangled up in,
And the tragical end of the same.
You see, she was borned in this country,
Her mother, a woman of gold,
Kissed her baby and lined out for Heaven,
When Beauty was seven days old.
The boys, you see, nicknamed her "Beauty,"
And each one, he fought for his turn
At feedin' her out of the bottle,
But dress her -- we never could learn.
So Pete he sent off for a nurse girl
And a teacher (not stunning for looks),
To give her the care of a woman,
And learn her the knowledge of books.
Thus Beauty grew up at the home ranch,
And learned how to shore ride and shoot,
Also play and sing on the pianer,
And to tie down a wild steer to boot.
And charming-- why, partner, the sunbeams
They scrapped for the sweets of her face,
And the alkali dust and the zephyrs
They jockeyed to get second place.
So was it a wonder young Dawson,
The son of a neighbor of Pete,
Lost his heart to this rose of the prairie,
And his love for her couldn't be beat?
“Buck"-- that was the handle he went by,
Had pre-empted some learnin' at school,
Was a handsome and big, manly feller,
And in a gun-fight was shore cool.
And there wasn't no man round the country,
Could ride with him down the Red Lane,
He could rope, fork, and ride with clean saddle
Any outlaw that ever wore mane.
They'd been youngsters and brought up together,
And Dawson was shorely dead game,
His father a wealthy old-timer,
All burdened with early-day fame.
Yes, Beauty loved "Buck," that was certain,
But a gal's ways are never foreseen,
And you can't tell what's liable to happen
Be-tween the betwixt and between.
So when a young feller from college
Comes a-romancin' like out this way,
Well, things looked a little promiscuous,
And there was the devil to pay.
Of course, he was welcomed by Beauty,
As the flowers are welcomed in May;
His college pin pleased her, I reckon,
And he had a girl-catchin' way.
But wait till I roll me a smoke, pard,
To filter my bad feelin's down,
Makes me wanter shore squander some powder
When I ponder on that sneakin' houn'.
Well, we was all out on the round-up,
When this college masher, you see,
Ran off with old Yellowstone's daughter,
The pride of the 7 U. P.
Now, old Pete he shore worshipped his daughter,
Loved her better than money or life,
For she was the pride of his old age--
The gift of his beautiful wife.
So he and young Dawson together,
With hearts like the lead in their guns,
Hit the trail of this college-bred villain,
And secured him before many suns.
The gal they found up in Butte City­-
He'd deserted her up there, you know;
But Dawson caught him near the border,
Where numerous cottonwoods grow.
And there, in the depths of the forest,
With the beasts and the birds lookin' on,
They fought to the death with their bowies,
Till the Eastern-bred feller was gone.
And Beauty-- she married "Buck" after,
But never seemed happy or gay,
Like the Beauty we'd worshipped from childhood,­-
She just drooped, shrunk, and withered away.
Yes, she paled like the flowers in summer,
And died with the leaves in the fall ;
And we buried her close to her mother,
While the sunshine went out of us all.
Poor old Pete, his hair white as the snowdrift,
And eyes that stare vacant and old,
Sits and sobs at the foot of two gravestones,
All alone, whether hot days or cold.
All alone? No, for Buck often joins him,
Grim and stern, with his face like a stone;
Never smiling nowdays like he used to,
When he tries he winds up with a moan.
No, the sun don't shine quite as it used to,
And the wind has a lonesomer sound,
As it sings soft and mournful in summer,
And howls when old winter comes round.
Here are the links to original photos:
https://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/yellowstone-pete-passes-through-yellowstone-pete-news-photo/161995779
https://www.worthpoint.com/worthopedia/rppc-goldie-marion-robbins-aka-1904877006
https://www.phillipscountynews.com/story/2016/09/14/news/yellowstone-petes-only-daughte4302.html
https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/52400720/goldie-marion-robbins/photo

I've(23F bi) been in a relationship with my boyfriend(28M cis) for over 5 years, and we have been living together for 3 years. I recently finished university and I'm unemployed, been doing the house chores since we moved together based on mutual agreement (it's our first time out of our parents house). He works for the both of us and pays for everything. (I've had jobs but not full time so I spent the money on hobbies so I didn't have to rely on him so much).
I'm a cosplayer, and I keep a separate IG account for posting and interacting. My bf has always been supportive and keeps me company at conventions because I don't have many friends and have bad social anxiety.
A while ago he too wanted to cosplay, I helped him with everything and he created a cosplay account, I started to feel insecure when he would follow cosplayers that were doing +18 content, I explained to him how this made me feel and he would brush it off saying that I too made that kind of content (I had an OF, that he encouraged me to create, and never really announced it in my socials, so I always had very few people subscribed). He unfollowed specific girls that I would tell him, but never addressed the whole issue so he kept following this type of accounts.
Eventually I grew tired and stopped nagging him with the issue, but it never left my brain, I used to compare myself to these girls and would regularly check his following to see if he followed someone new, it was consuming a large portion of my sanity. What really broke me was finding out that he was messaging (we had access to our phones) some girls and complimenting them in a sexual way, so I confronted him about it and he told me it was not a big deal, that at the end of the day the one he loves its me, and doing that was just a way of getting out of boredom.
I already had infidelity issues because earlier (2 year mark) I found out he was messaging his ex, telling her that we were in bad terms and we opened up the relationship (not true), I confronted him about this as well and now he keeps her blocked, but it left a big scar and I used to check this girl profile and stories everyday multiple times a day, I would have nightmares about him messaging her again and meeting with her for a whole 3 years.
There has been 2 main break points in our relationship, once when I found out about his ex, he told me that he was bored of our relationship (we already lived together, and had quarantine restrictions because of COVID, he worked remotely so it was us 24/7 in the same apartment) and that the was looking for excitement, then I found out that the had a secret Tinder account asking for casual sex, I never got to see the messages.
We broke up and I returned to my parents house, where he blasted my phone with messages telling me how regretful he felt, and that if I gave him another chance he would be better. I forgave him but on the condition that we shared phone's passcodes.
The second break point was when he proposed that in order for our relationship to endure this hardship we had to include a third girl (i believe they're called unicorns) because in his eyes, i asked for too much (regarding affection) and because he wasn't very affectionate a new girl could give me that. And obviously he would get to fuck us both. I rejected this strongly because I'm monogamous, and we settled that a threesome could work out, we installed dating apps to look for a girl, and to this day we haven't found anyone. Along the days of the search I started to become numb, irritated at the minimum, cried every week and started to document every little detail/behavior that was making me fall out of love. Then one day I decided that this was going nowhere, and I told him that I didn't want to do the threesome, and because it was the only thing that would fulfill him it was better that we parted ways. So we did, and I went to my parents house for the weekend to think things through. He messaged me saying that why didn't I come up with a solution for us to be together because I said nothing. I talked to my mom and she told me that relationships this long shouldn't end without exhausting every little option. She made me come back and I did.
When I came back we talked, we agreed on things. I needed to quit snapping so easily and being irritated all the time, I needed to get a job, so I began studying again so I could get back on track. I asked him to be honest and loving, that we could try the threesome but under my terms (I would manage the account). And he said that I needed to delete my OF, so I did. He overstepped multiple times before doing things that I told him not to (like creating dating profiles for the threesome, when I specifically told him that I wanted to manage that) He also confessed to subscribing to other girls +18 content and I cried in front of him like never before.
I became even more hyper vigilant, and he once again was anonymously asking inappropriate questions to cosplayers. I decided to tell him and he became defensive, telling me how TF did I found out, that I was being dramatic and it was just a playful question, and if I keep looking for things it's obvious that I'm gonna find something. I went non verbal (I have asd) and I tried to shut me in my room, he didn't allow me and asked to discuss but I had a meltdown and I told him that if he didn't want me to get into his phone we should change our phones passcodes, and he would have to delete his cosplay account, so we did.
I've been paranoid again and I started to have nightmares of him messaging other girls again, he told me he deleted all dating apps, he assured me he did. But I know it's not true and he lied to me because days ago I saw he paid a subscription to a dating app we haven't used before. I don't have the energy to talk about that anymore. I don't know why am I still here, have I lost my identity? He says he wants to travel to the office (that's on the capital city) for work because he usually meets with his colleagues, and he can't bring me because tickets are expensive. I can't help but overthink that he will cheat on me, but at the same time I try to keep a mentality that if he wants to cheat, he will, and there's nothing I could do to stop him.
I don't want you to think of me as an angel either, I have ASD and I don't take meds for my anxiety, I'm needy and sensitive, don't have many friends, I just leave the house to go shopping and occasionally meet up with girl friends so Im very boring, i dont have a lot to talk about. Recently he posted on reddit about us opening up our relationship and I think he resents me financially because of the way he talks about me. I try to give him everything I can, I serve him breakfast, lunch and dinner, sometimes I bake pastries, I try to keep the house clean (we have cats so it's hard) I wash the dishes, do the laundry, manage the pantry stock, stay in shape, I consider myself attractive and been told so, we have sex almost everyday.
It's like I'm not enough for him, but he just wants me to himself (the polyamory/threesome can only be with a girl, I have proposed that we try with a man and he says he'd feel emasculated)
I don't really know what I am searching for writing this here, give me your thoughts, am i dumb?
And I think I'm traumatized.
I've been masturbating to threesome porn videos, sometimes I imagine the cosplay girls he used to send messages to while we have sex and I get more turned on.. orz

Gacha mini movie that, at first, seems to be a cliche "Hated child becomes hybrid princess" story with all the usual Mary Sue nonsense and ridiculous Gacha logic... Except the major characters involved are aware that this is ridiculous, and just as confused as everyone else is. And it becomes clear that they have actual depth to them and aren't as one-note as the story is trying to pass them off as, and they become increasingly aware of the horrifying phenomenon that is reality warping around one person like a black hole and how powerless they are to stop it from happening.
Imagine the typical shallow spoiled brat actually being just an emotionally neglected teenage girl surrounded by bad influences who acts like a princess because she wants to feel respected and important. And in the days leading up to the incident, she notices that is it just her or is her friend group being even more petty and vindictive than usual? And she gets pissed because it turns out the world really is literally revolving around her sister, and what the actual fuck is up with the nonsense that is their actual father (who actually managed to be worse than mom), and why the fuck is only her sister the long lost hybrid princess when they're supposed to be twins, and why the fuck is everyone else acting so weird??
Imagine the "hated child" not actually being as hated as the narrative implies; her mom does ignore her and her sister did fall in with the mean girls who are bullying her, but that doesn't make them fucking monsters, and most of her peers actually like her and she's just shy, so she gets very confused when almost everyone she knows starts acting way worse for no reason and even more confused when suddenly she's a hybrid princess and everyone suddenly starts worshipping her, except a select few people who are aware of how weird this is, and her demon king bio dad who only now decided to show up is acting like he's her "real" family and expecting her to just go along with all of this.

I live in Tennessee. Yesterday, my uncle and I got into a heater argument about several things that had accumulated over the past couple of days. He was mad that I took his clothes out of the dryer, that I clean the washing machine and dishwasher, that I called him and asshole, and his son overheard it, the list goes on. Multiple times during the argument, he got in my face and was spitting in it while he was talking to me. I could feel his breath on my face. I told him to back off and he said “no I’ll continue spitting in your goddamn face. What are you gonna do about it?” I warned him that I would spit back at him
Sure enough it got to that point. He got my face and spat in it one last time so I spit in his face back and from there he lunged at me, put his hand around my throat, choking me, elbowed me and threw a few punches in the face. I kicked him as hard as I could and slapped him in the face, and the fight ended by me pushing him into the table. He ripped my shirt and left marks on my neck. I also have a minor cut on the back of my right hand, but that was from his glasses. He apologized about my shirt and the scratch.
After telling my family about it, I was encouraged today call the police. I did and I showed them pictures of my injuries and the video I recorded (unbeknownst to my uncle). The officer said that they would talk to the judge and see what the judge would decide to do. The video is mostly just a blank screen and on and off muffled audio. You can see the phone fall down onto the floor and you can see my uncle in a standing position in the video. So because of how it was recorded, the police officer says that the judge may not count that as substantial enough evidence to bring about any charges. But if he does, it’s likely that we both could face charges for domestic assault, because the bottom line is it was we’re family and it happened in a family home, and we both did make physical contact with each other. Domestic violence and domestic assault policies in Tennessee are among the strictest in the country. My uncle and I have never been in any trouble with the law before.
One of the police officers requested that I email him the video and the picture, but I was not able to email him the video because the file size was too big, even though I had edited (shortened) versions of it.
Could this result in jail time for the both of us?

I hit 600 hours yesterday and figured I should post about my experience thus far - hopefully it will be helpful for all of you, but also will be fun to look back on myself, later on.
Background: I took a couple semesters of Spanish in high school as well as university over a decade ago, but never gave more effort than just trying to get a decent grade. A year ago, I decided to try and learn Spanish for real. I went down the normal Duolingo track, then found Paul Noble audiobooks and Language Transfer. I became really interested at this point, and eventually came across Dreaming Spanish. At first, I would do like 15 min a day of Dreaming Spanish while “studying” with my other time, until sometime around July 2023 when I realized I was getting more out of DS, and went “all in”. I put 70 hours as my total input up to that point (although since then even though I’ve had other sources, I haven’t added any more “outside hours” along the way, so technically I have 530 hours of pure DS now).
Reasons for learning Spanish: - It’s simply something I’ve always wanted to do, but never really committed to it - My family and I love to travel, and want to be able to communicate much better - We spent 6 weeks in Spain late last year which was partially why I dove in, but even before the trip I realized I would for sure keep going after the trip (I now wish I had started DS way before that trip, of course!) - I have two young daughters, who will be going through the Spanish Immersion program (100% spanish through elementary and then it gradually balances between Spanish and English into middle and high school) in our district! My older gal starts kindergarten in the fall. - There is a hosting program within the immersion program where families can host a teacher assistant (someone completing Uni or just graduated) from a spanish speaking country. It would be a semester of hosting the TA at our house. We’ve talked to others who’ve hosted and they had a great experience. Some have since visited the TA in their home country. We aren’t signed up to do this for the coming year, but my wife and I would love to in the next couple years potentially.
Listening: 90% input from DS. Half the time I go from just the easiest Intermediate/Advanced video remaining (around level 58) and half the time I just pick a video that looks Interesting (BeginneIntermediate/Advanced). Sometimes I’ll speed up the easier videos. In general, I understand anything 60 and below very well, 60-70 is comprehensible and enjoyable but challenging, 70+ varies. I find Pablo, Sandra and Alma, and Agus much easier. I find Tomás and Edwin difficult, for example. But overall I’m still really enjoying DS. Currently half the time Im watching, and half the time I’m listening with headphones. A few times a week I’ll watch some super beginner / beginner videos with my daughter - she loves Calcetín videos and the Michelle cooking videos. Ive seen the “Find Wally” videos about 8 times…haha
I also have listened to a lot of Español Con Juan, which I enjoy too. I mix in YouTube videos sometimes as well. I’ve watched some native Ted Talks and found some of them too hard, but also found some that I’ve almost fully understood, which was encouraging. On the other end of the spectrum I put on the movie Society of the Snow in Spanish without subtitles and I was completely lost haha. No huge surprise. Overall, I’m happy with progress but have days where I’m frustrated too. Loving the journey though.
Reading: I haven’t done a ton of reading but doing more now. I read a handful of Olly Richards books around 300 hours and enjoyed overall. I read Harry Potter book 1 at 400 hours. I really liked it, although it was a bit too difficult, but having read them in English many times it was often still comprehensible. I’m now reading a bunch of the “Diario de Greg” books and they are great haha. Love being mid 30’s guy at the coffee shop posting up with one of those books. Challenging but comprehensible and fun. I also read a bunch of picture books in Spanish to my girls. My older gal is picking up a decent amount of words.
Writing/Speaking: Haven’t done a ton of writing other than occasionally texting a buddy who knows Spanish. But found it to be not too bad.
We were in Spain as a family when I had around 300-350 hours I think. It was super helpful to have that under my belt but also I generally couldn’t follow conversations between native speakers. I had conversations with people at the park or elsewhere if people were patient or spoke slower, and it was super rewarding. I made a lot of mistakes (including mistaking a verb and asking a guy at the beach in front of his family if he wanted “to touch me” instead of me taking a photo for him haha. He silently walked away). But also talked to an old woman about having kids etc and she talked about being envious of my parents as she never had grandkids and was very sad about it. I tried to comfort her. Moments like that make the whole journey worth it.
Also I should note that between 100-300 hours I was doing Baselang speaking lesssons. It is expensive, but I really liked the platform and had some great recurring teachers. I may re-sign up after 1000 hours. I would’ve held off but I also wanted to be able to communicate a bit better in Spain. Maybe it will have end up harming my progress, I’m not sure.
TLDR: hit 600 hours. Have a long way to go but seeing progress and loving the journey. Averaging around 2 hours per day now. Will re-start speaking around 1000-1500 hours. AMA.
Thanks!

TCAP:
5 Marvin Lakhan: This guy is way more fucked up than people realize because he seemed completely normal. John Kennelly is more popular due to his iconic voice/phrases and getting caught at McDonalds but Marvin is seriously fucked up. He wanted the decoy to fuck the cat with him watching, had graphic instructions that he definitely knew from viewing bestiality porn, and wanted to have sex with the decoy on her parents bed and in every room so she would never forget how he violated her. He tries to play it off like he was just joking and even Chris calls him out on how explicit his bestiality thing was. Tried to claim he wasn’t gonna go ‘all the way’ despite stripping naked in order to fulfill a deal so the decoy would do sex acts with a cat. Kennelly seemed to have brain trauma or some developmental issues which I think helped contribute to his deviancy but Marvin is 100% aware the entire time what he’s doing and unlike Wunderler who might have had the slightly more explicit bestiality chat (the PJ decoy said she had nightmares for years due to how horrible it was and it’s like a top 5 slimy I think on the PJ website). Fucking weird guy who needed way more time imo. I don’t think he’s reoffended but he needed serious help.
4 Lorne Armstrong: classic Lorne, can’t even win a list he’s rightfully on. I think basically everyone knows mostly everything about Lorne but the fact he’s only 4 on this list should tell you how bad it gets. genuinely believed he was in a committed, serious, albeit highly toxic, controlling and unhealthy relationship with a 13 year old girl. His chat is fucking disgusting. He gets jealous over Kayla’s dad’s corvette stating it ‘didn’t have his penis’. Called his dick Mr. Penis, raged over a made up 13 year old ex boyfriend. It’s just so disturbing and so apparent Lorne is highly sick and still to this day has never fully accepted responsibility, resulting in him becoming the community lolcow.
3 Walter Babst: this may seem strange given it’s not Rutherford who actually taught the age ranges of the decoy, but something about Babst just disturbs me so much. His chat genuinely is one of the only ones that made me near sick to my stomach and I’ve read part of Wunderlers. It’s so gross how he de ages all of his terms, he seems genuinely upset she started her period, obviously implying he wanted to be able to cum in her without consequences which is fucking horrific. He treats her like a doll and commands her what to wear, and the worst part of all of it is Babst is a smart guy. He immediately knew he was caught and going to be arrested, and that what he was doing was wrong. He obviously had been tortured by these demons for so long and finally couldn’t resist and decided he was going to do it. What’s even more disturbing is the guy was highly over qualified apparently to teach high school and is one of the only predators to ever have a better life after getting caught. He works at still and I believe is a manager or upper management at an engineering/physics firm I think? So did he become a teacher to sort of sate the desire? Maybe he was at the phase were merely creeping on his freshmen female students and catching some inappropriate down shirt glances or gross butt staring was enough to get him off.
2 Chuck Harding: truthfully, this guy and the piece of shit at #1 are so close in how horrible and disturbing they are it almost doesn’t matter. The decoy said they’re glad Chuck is dead and most of society should be as well. He was a serial groomer, likely rapist of multiple unreported boys. He told the decoy that he could be his grandpa, he wanted to go to Disney with the decoy in public and pretend that Chuck was his grandpa. He lived in Anaheim near Disney and I can only imagine the depraved shit Chuck did living that close it was NOT a coincidence. A disturbing, completely child porn brain rotted husk of a human who seriously had no qualms with what he was doing and even gets defensive and almost confrontational with Chris. If that was it I’d argue he’s still in my top 10 but then they find not only did he have CSAM, he had tons of it, mountains of it. Not only THAT, but some of it was dated back like 35 years old. NOT ONLY THAT, it was discovered that basically for that length of time Chuck had been a part of a CSAM exchange and honestly probably creation ring. An absolute monster, truly probably the worst person they ever caught, and again you can swap Chuck with #1 if that’s how you feel. Chuck’s segment is almost not even funny just like the next guy because of how absolutely disturbing and sick these men were.
1 James Wiles: Who else. Now comes down to your individual morality of what’s more horrific, being a 40 year long pedophile participating in a CSAM exchange and again probably also creation ring, or allowing your own flesh and blood daughters to not only be raped by yourself, but your sick brother as well. It’s just beyond the pale for so many predators, because it’s real. His daughters have done interviews I’m pretty sure and they said when he died they celebrated, that one of them had to take a picture and she keeps it to know he’s actually dead. Just a complete and utter piece of trash who I am genuinely happy is dead and if hell exists he is there. Horrific, disturbing, he’s like Westerbeck the improved edition.
Dishonorable Mention slotting between #2 and #3 imo is JPW. He’s just too fucking funny for me to put here but his life is insane and he did some horrible stuff, definitely could be on here had some of these other guys not been worse.
HVP/Takedown
5 Brian: This one will be short because outside of the stuff I want to really talk about he doesn’t have a lot of personality but something so he’s going at #5 below the next guys. This dude openly admitted to having had sex with multiple minors prior to the sting and ultimately what gets him on here is he is wearing and always wears the necklace one of his victims gave him, and it definitely seemed like he wore it for his own sick pleasure.
4 Donnie: This interaction is a top 10 of all time in my book. Takedown has a lot of stinkers and boring interviews and stings because there’s no long form decoy work, but wow, this guy and Brian, also caught in this sting are just doozies to me. Donnie wanted a dad to basically pimp his own daughter out to him, have the dad watch him fuck his daughter, then engaged in sex acts with the father and then all three of them would have sex together. He openly admits in the decoy interaction to an undercover cop posing as the father he’d done this exact scenario before or something similar and is sickeningly smug and ‘kind’ to the decoy portraying the kid. He states that parents should ‘be more involved’ in their children’s sexual development and exploration that it was good the father was going to participate in the rape of his own 13 year old daughter. His interview with Chris is no less shocking as he just further admits that he’s done it before and enjoyed it. Absolutely insane interaction.
3 Michael Gentile (or Popovich): These guys are almost the same in my book, slightly different flavors of disturbing and perverted old men. I’ll focus on Gentile. Just a fucking creep pedo who definitely had done this before, wanted to film child porn in his hotel room, only lived an hour away so why did he need a room? Very, VERY adept at grooming and knew instantly it was a sting when he entered. Calls his wife the witch and expects her to bail him out. His texts and voice mails and phone calls are absolutely vile and just pure filth. Really disturbing. Perhaps could be swapped with Donnie but something about the way he speaks, his confrontational nature with detectives despite having one of the grossest chat logs and decoy encounters, his evasiveness, just makes me rank him higher.
2 Jesse Velez: a bit of a cop out because it’s disturbing how this interaction went and how fucking smug this dumbass was realizing that Chris wasn’t really prepared. He is disgusting also no doubt. He wanted a 13 year old boy to live with him and ‘no one would find out’. It’s so disturbing realizing just how manipulative and sick these guys are the second they aren’t 10000% nailed to the wall. He gets arrested and all still but I would kill to see the world where Chris has the full chat and can obliterate this smug, condescending idiot.
1 Steven Buchanan: Who else (again). A short one cause his chat isn’t super outrageous, he’s relatively young, but the most disturbing thing about him is the ‘what if’ scenario. This guy looked unhinged. I don’t know why, if it was the military, if it was just something else that broke him, but this guy was dangerous without a shadow of a doubt. I don’t believe the items that constituted the kill kit were together, like in a bag, but even having those items is highly concerning. Really disturbing to watch and think about the horrible possibility of a real girl had been persuaded to leave her house and get into this psycho’s car.

Trigger warning: mention of sexual assault
This is my first ever post to Reddit and I get most of my Reddit fix from YouTube so please be patient with me if I don’t understand all the lingo or rules, thank you.
Here’s some context: I am a transgender male. Boyfriend, who we will call H, is a cisgender male. We’ve been together just over 1 year and 2 months. We were roommates before we started dating, and friends with benefits long before I moved in, though we did fall off for about a year before I moved in too. H has only ever known me as trans, I have been out for about 3/4 years now.
Last night I went to bed mad and I didn’t want to. I was triggered shortly after dinner time when H lifted up my shirt on my backside in the shared living room we have with our roommate and his gf, almost exposing my chest which I do not bind while home. He then starts to try massaging my back until his hands starts inching closer to the front of me. I did not ask him to do this. I felt an immediate panic and told him to stop but it didn’t feel like enough to actually stop him so I said very yelling like: “the reason we never have sex is because you can’t help but cross my boundaries and I barely even want you to touch me anymore.”
I can understand how this felt really harsh on him as he quickly became quiet, wouldn’t look at me, and then left to his room. We do have separate rooms as we were roommates before, I now use my room as an office for my remote customer service job and his room as an actual bedroom.
I knew that if we talked immediately that I would probably lash out again, getting mad and yelling and he would shut down but maybe even get mad himself. But we know better that at least I need some time to cool off if we’re going to have a productive conversation as I do have big feelings very often that overwhelm me and I have anger issues as well. We’ve never had a big fight where both of us are trying to get a point across. I feel like I did before in my last big relationship where I’m the only one with all the big feelings and no one wants to listen to them. The point isn’t that I want a big fight, it’s that I know eventually I need to let it out but more calmly.
So when H came out of his room after I went to partake in the devils garden on the balcony, I was expecting to sit down and talk it out. Instead he asked me to make a copy of his license for work cause I have a scanneprinter, we hugged, apologized to each other but didn’t explain why we’re were apologizing, I went to make the copies and we went on like it was a normal night. I waited for a more appropriate moment to bring it up and every time I think it’s time to speak up, H has a favor to ask, he wants me to look at the TikTok’s and Reels he sent me, and then we’re going to bed. At that point, I am fully in my head about this interaction and relationship and I haven’t said a word to him since last night except he texted me this morning complaining about his new job.
I want to give a little context why I am scared to say anything further about being triggered and lashing out. About three months ago, H was very drunk (he is an alcoholic) and after I rambled on about something, H stopped me and said something to the effect of “No one’s listening to you.” He has apologized profusely about this but I have always had the impression that if you want someone to tell the truth, talk to a toddler or a drunk. I haven’t been able to get him saying that out of my head. I’ve been told some messed up stuff about me by others but this one…hurts. So when he doesn’t start a conversation, I don’t want to talk. He doesn’t like listening to me talk. He’s blamed his ADHD and said “I never know when you’re gonna stop and my brain won’t focus” but part of me knows that’s a crock of sh*t.
Maybe while writing this post I’m realizing that it’s not worth it, but I’d like to explain that his insistent “Stims” on me (smacking, tickling, scratching, finger tracing, scratching my head and pulling my hair, pimple popping on my back, etc) are what’s crossing my boundaries. I have had a rough time with touch ever since I was 14 and was sexually assaulted. The last time I was triggered like this, my bf of the time tried to hold me from behind but his hand placement freaked me out and I had an anxiety attack; sweating, crying and dry heaving type of anxiety attack. While H never initiated without asking for consent, I’ve always wondered why consent and “keep your hands to yourself” is only important for him when he’s using his genitals.
I have repeatedly tried to explain to H that I am uncomfortable with most touch, and his stims still happen. I’ve tried to be mindful that maybe he actually can’t control it, that his extreme OCD is making him (he was diagnosed as a kid, the beginning of the relationship I had to drive with him everywhere because he kept thinking he hit people while on the road, a great example of pure O) so I tried displacement where he stims on himself, asked him to stop repeatedly and making him work through what he can do instead of stimming on me, I have tried to gentle parent his issue and nothing works. I am beginning to resent him and I don’t want to resort to violence just because he’s backed me into a corner with this issue.
I know however that when we have heart to hearts about these types of issues, he listens and tries better (he stopped smacking my thigh and went to my butt, the frequency of stims have slowed down) but after a year, I feel worn down and don’t know how to get him to talk to me now as I know if I start the conversation he will either deflect or dismiss. What should I do?
TLDR: boyfriend has trouble keeping his hands to himself, triggered my SA issues, we never talked about it, I don’t think he cares to listen. What should I do?