(PSA) I want to start off by recommending retroarch for iPad users. Delta is a FANTASTIC app. I highly recommend it. That being said, if you want to play on an iPad in landscape mode, there is only the iOS version of Delta on iPad. The developer is working on the app for iPad, but as of writing this, retroarch scales perfectly.
(PSA) When it comes to cores. On the apple version of this app, all the cores apple has approved are already included in the app. Can’t add or remove any cores like you can on all the other platforms when running retroarch. If a core is not in retroarch on an apple platform, it is not an approved core or is limited by apple restrictions and will not play well. Apple is not allowing JIT. This is a problem for ps2, psp, and GameCube for sure.
(PRO TIP. .7z to .zip) Using the files app, you can unzip a .7z file. Just rename it to .zip and select it. The files app will unzip it. Done. No need for an unzipping app.
(REQUIRED.) Some cores will crash or not boot a rom. I have found this to be mostly related to bios files not being in the app. (To add bios files = Use the files app. Go to on my iphone. Then find the retroarch folder, and select it. Then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch. After that scroll down to the folder named system. Dump all of your bios for all systems into this folder. I would add any bios you can find for the systems you are playing. This will stop the crashing and increase compatibility with games from different regions.) , (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) If you try to load a rom and it still crashes use a different core to launch that game if it is available. It could be a compatibility issue between the core and the rom. Or it could be region locked and you still need another bios file.

1.) (REQUIRED.) If you want to save yourself some annoyances with Retroarch on iOS, then after you make a change to your settings, hit home in the navigation menu, select configuration file, then save configuration file. I choose the overwrite option, but you can choose what best fits you. We can do this on other platforms by just tapping the back button until it exits the application, but there isn’t a back button on iOS.

2.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to turn on vibration/ haptic feedback. Go to settings in the navigation menu, input and scroll down to haptic feedback. I turn both options on and leave the vibration strength at 100%.

3.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the user interface. You can do this in two ways. A.) Changing the theme. Go to settings, user interface, appearance, select color theme and then choose your favorite. Mine is material ui dark. A.1) If you want you can also choose another app icon. The setting is the first option under user interface. B.) I like the stock setup, but you can change the entire layout to be different. You can go to settings, drivers, and select menu. The stock option is glui. You can choose the option you like the best in this section.

4.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the date and time format at the top to be something I am more used to. Go to settings, user interface, menu item visibility and select “style of date and time” towards the end of the list.

5.) (REQUIRED.) GETTING GAMES IN THE APP. Then we get to importing content. In the iOS version, Retroarch wants the roms to be placed into a folder that is inside of the Retroarch app itself. What I do is take the roms I want to play on Retroarch and move them into the Retroarch app. Here is how I do that. I have a folder already on my iPhone with the roms I want to play on Retroarch. (I store my roms on device. Using the Files app, then on my iphone and save the folder on your phone first. We move it to where it needs to go in the next step.). My folder is named “Retroarch Roms”. It can be really helpful to stay organized. Especially if you also use the Delta and ppsspp apps. I use the files app to locate this folder. Then I select it and move it. Or you could copy it but be mindful of files sizes and storage space. (I put “copy it” in here for a major reason. If you store all your roms in retroarch. And one day you want to delete and reinstall the app…. Bye bye roms. My library is too big to back up to iCloud. But that might be a good option if it works. I have not tested it.). Then move or paste this folder inside of the Retroarch app folder under downloads. (Files app, on my iphone, scroll down to retroarch – select it, then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch, then scroll down to downloads, select it. Your entire folder or multiple folders can go here.) Then hit the playlist menu (middle navigation button.) and select import content. Then scan directory. Click documents/retroarch, scroll down to downloads, then select scan this directory. Then let it do its thing. I like to leave the app open and on screen so the iphone/ipad doesn’t limit background activity. After it is done you can come back to the playlist menu to look through and launch your games. After you have launched a few games, You can go to Home, history and launch your recently played games from there. There is a favorites tab in the playlist section, but I don’t use it personally.

6.) (UPDATES.) I like to make sure a few things are up to date. So, I hit the home menu at the bottom. Go to online updater. Make sure on demand thumbnails is toggled on. (This will add box art on demand as you scroll through your playlist/library.) Then just below that update core files and all the others below it. Update all of them. Then scroll back up to playlist thumbnail updater (This is how you download box art manually for each playlist/library.) and select any system libraries/playlists that are missing album art. If it is your first time, I would just select them all to make sure box art is there when you browse your library. If you want some free to use roms go to content downloader and some homebrew and other roms are in there for each system.

(PSA.2) After you are done changing any settings. Do not just close the app. Make sure you save the configuration file like I mentioned at the start of this post. If not, the settings you changed will be “forgotten” but the roms and album art should still be there. Man, I wish someone told me that before I wasted my life 3 times in a row.

7.) (PS1) Firmware for ps1. To run games correctly you will need firmware for the ps1. PSX rearmed can get you started and playing but the “beetle psx hw” core for ps1 has an upscaling capability. This will make games look tremendously better. Firmware location. After a quick search on the interwebs, you have what you need. (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and which are required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) Use your files app. Go to on my iPhone. Find the Retroarch app folder. Click the folder in there named retroarch. Scroll down to system and dump the bios files there. I can’t say where to get them, but “psx bios” should be easy to find in an archive if you search the googles. Make sure the spelling matches specifically. You can look in settings. Scroll down to directory. And you can scroll through where the app is currently looking for bios and you can change that if you need to. You can also go to settings, select core, manage cores, then scroll to the core you are looking for, then select the core. Scroll down to firmware section and select the “looking in” option to see where it wants the bios. It will tell you if any bios are missing as well. This can apply to any core. Not just ps1 cores.

8.) (SEGA SATURN.). Make sure all the Saturn bios are in the system folder inside the Retroarch folder (Look at the other bullet points on this post to see how. Some games will not launch unless the core has the correct bios. ). Roms. After extracting a rom, it should be a folder full of bin files. Put that whole folder (For each game/rom) in a Saturn roms sub folder. (Make a new folder called “Saturn Roms”.) Using the files app, go to on my iphone, go to the retroarch folder, then the retroarch sub folder. Then scroll down and select downloads. This is where you want to store the Saturn Roms folder. When you import content into retroarch. It will scan the folders and subfolders that have all the bin files. Games will appear as one in the playlist/library.

8.) (FAST VIDEO OR AUDiO) Sync issues. I turned on audio sync and it ran sonic super fast. Other people have had the opposite problem and need to turn it on. The same goes for video sync. The fixes are different depending on the device. Go to settings, video, synchronization, and adjust. You can change the refresh rate in the settings, video, output, vertical refresh rate in this section. This should only be adjusted if you are having issues. Audio sync is under settings, audio, synchronization. It says recommended to turn on. Mine goes crazy if I toggle that on. So I leave it off.

9.) (CORE OPTIONS.) Some systems have multiple cores available. I change them out on the fly by hitting playlist in the navigation menu (Middle option.) Scrolling down to the system I want to play. Then selecting the game, I am looking for. (Do not select run yet.) Then scrolling down and selecting set core association. If you want to use the same core for an entire playlist/library. You can go to settings. Playlists, manage playlists, then select the system you want to set a core for, scroll down to default core, and you can pick the one that works best for your needs.

(DIRECT LINK.) Below is a direct link to the app on the app store for those that have trouble finding it.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/retroarch/id6499539433

Quick start guide / tips for Retroarch on iOS / Ipados

(PSA) I want to start off by recommending retroarch for iPad users. Delta is a FANTASTIC app. I highly recommend it. That being said, if you want to play on an iPad in landscape mode, there is only the iOS version of Delta on iPad. The developer is working on the app for iPad, but as of writing this, retroarch scales perfectly.
(PSA) When it comes to cores. On the apple version of this app, all the cores apple has approved are already included in the app. Can’t add or remove any cores like you can on all the other platforms when running retroarch. If a core is not in retroarch on an apple platform, it is not an approved core or is limited by apple restrictions and will not play well. Apple is not allowing JIT. This is a problem for ps2, psp, and GameCube for sure.
(PRO TIP. .7z to .zip) Using the files app, you can unzip a .7z file. Just rename it to .zip and select it. The files app will unzip it. Done. No need for an unzipping app.
(REQUIRED.) Some cores will crash or not boot a rom. I have found this to be mostly related to bios files not being in the app. (To add bios files = Use the files app. Go to on my iphone. Then find the retroarch folder, and select it. Then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch. After that scroll down to the folder named system. Dump all of your bios for all systems into this folder. I would add any bios you can find for the systems you are playing. This will stop the crashing and increase compatibility with games from different regions.) , (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) If you try to load a rom and it still crashes use a different core to launch that game if it is available. It could be a compatibility issue between the core and the rom. Or it could be region locked and you still need another bios file.

1.) (REQUIRED.) If you want to save yourself some annoyances with Retroarch on iOS, then after you make a change to your settings, hit home in the navigation menu, select configuration file, then save configuration file. I choose the overwrite option, but you can choose what best fits you. We can do this on other platforms by just tapping the back button until it exits the application, but there isn’t a back button on iOS.

2.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to turn on vibration/ haptic feedback. Go to settings in the navigation menu, input and scroll down to haptic feedback. I turn both options on and leave the vibration strength at 100%.

3.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the user interface. You can do this in two ways. A.) Changing the theme. Go to settings, user interface, appearance, select color theme and then choose your favorite. Mine is material ui dark. A.1) If you want you can also choose another app icon. The setting is the first option under user interface. B.) I like the stock setup, but you can change the entire layout to be different. You can go to settings, drivers, and select menu. The stock option is glui. You can choose the option you like the best in this section.

4.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the date and time format at the top to be something I am more used to. Go to settings, user interface, menu item visibility and select “style of date and time” towards the end of the list.

5.) (REQUIRED.) GETTING GAMES IN THE APP. Then we get to importing content. In the iOS version, Retroarch wants the roms to be placed into a folder that is inside of the Retroarch app itself. What I do is take the roms I want to play on Retroarch and move them into the Retroarch app. Here is how I do that. I have a folder already on my iPhone with the roms I want to play on Retroarch. (I store my roms on device. Using the Files app, then on my iphone and save the folder on your phone first. We move it to where it needs to go in the next step.). My folder is named “Retroarch Roms”. It can be really helpful to stay organized. Especially if you also use the Delta and ppsspp apps. I use the files app to locate this folder. Then I select it and move it. Or you could copy it but be mindful of files sizes and storage space. (I put “copy it” in here for a major reason. If you store all your roms in retroarch. And one day you want to delete and reinstall the app…. Bye bye roms. My library is too big to back up to iCloud. But that might be a good option if it works. I have not tested it.). Then move or paste this folder inside of the Retroarch app folder under downloads. (Files app, on my iphone, scroll down to retroarch – select it, then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch, then scroll down to downloads, select it. Your entire folder or multiple folders can go here.) Then hit the playlist menu (middle navigation button.) and select import content. Then scan directory. Click documents/retroarch, scroll down to downloads, then select scan this directory. Then let it do its thing. I like to leave the app open and on screen so the iphone/ipad doesn’t limit background activity. After it is done you can come back to the playlist menu to look through and launch your games. After you have launched a few games, You can go to Home, history and launch your recently played games from there. There is a favorites tab in the playlist section, but I don’t use it personally.

6.) (UPDATES.) I like to make sure a few things are up to date. So, I hit the home menu at the bottom. Go to online updater. Make sure on demand thumbnails is toggled on. (This will add box art on demand as you scroll through your playlist/library.) Then just below that update core files and all the others below it. Update all of them. Then scroll back up to playlist thumbnail updater (This is how you download box art manually for each playlist/library.) and select any system libraries/playlists that are missing album art. If it is your first time, I would just select them all to make sure box art is there when you browse your library. If you want some free to use roms go to content downloader and some homebrew and other roms are in there for each system.

(PSA.2) After you are done changing any settings. Do not just close the app. Make sure you save the configuration file like I mentioned at the start of this post. If not, the settings you changed will be “forgotten” but the roms and album art should still be there. Man, I wish someone told me that before I wasted my life 3 times in a row.

7.) (PS1) Firmware for ps1. To run games correctly you will need firmware for the ps1. PSX rearmed can get you started and playing but the “beetle psx hw” core for ps1 has an upscaling capability. This will make games look tremendously better. Firmware location. After a quick search on the interwebs, you have what you need. (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and which are required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) Use your files app. Go to on my iPhone. Find the Retroarch app folder. Click the folder in there named retroarch. Scroll down to system and dump the bios files there. I can’t say where to get them, but “psx bios” should be easy to find in an archive if you search the googles. Make sure the spelling matches specifically. You can look in settings. Scroll down to directory. And you can scroll through where the app is currently looking for bios and you can change that if you need to. You can also go to settings, select core, manage cores, then scroll to the core you are looking for, then select the core. Scroll down to firmware section and select the “looking in” option to see where it wants the bios. It will tell you if any bios are missing as well. This can apply to any core. Not just ps1 cores.

8.) (SEGA SATURN.). Make sure all the Saturn bios are in the system folder inside the Retroarch folder (Look at the other bullet points on this post to see how. Some games will not launch unless the core has the correct bios. ). Roms. After extracting a rom, it should be a folder full of bin files. Put that whole folder (For each game/rom) in a Saturn roms sub folder. (Make a new folder called “Saturn Roms”.) Using the files app, go to on my iphone, go to the retroarch folder, then the retroarch sub folder. Then scroll down and select downloads. This is where you want to store the Saturn Roms folder. When you import content into retroarch. It will scan the folders and subfolders that have all the bin files. Games will appear as one in the playlist/library.

8.) (FAST VIDEO OR AUDiO) Sync issues. I turned on audio sync and it ran sonic super fast. Other people have had the opposite problem and need to turn it on. The same goes for video sync. The fixes are different depending on the device. Go to settings, video, synchronization, and adjust. You can change the refresh rate in the settings, video, output, vertical refresh rate in this section. This should only be adjusted if you are having issues. Audio sync is under settings, audio, synchronization. It says recommended to turn on. Mine goes crazy if I toggle that on. So I leave it off.

9.) (CORE OPTIONS.) Some systems have multiple cores available. I change them out on the fly by hitting playlist in the navigation menu (Middle option.) Scrolling down to the system I want to play. Then selecting the game, I am looking for. (Do not select run yet.) Then scrolling down and selecting set core association. If you want to use the same core for an entire playlist/library. You can go to settings. Playlists, manage playlists, then select the system you want to set a core for, scroll down to default core, and you can pick the one that works best for your needs.

(DIRECT LINK.) Below is a direct link to the app on the app store for those that have trouble finding it.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/retroarch/id6499539433

(PSA) I want to start off by recommending retroarch for iPad users. Delta is a FANTASTIC app. I highly recommend it. That being said, if you want to play on an iPad in landscape mode, there is only the iOS version of Delta on iPad. The developer is working on the app for iPad, but as of writing this, retroarch scales perfectly.
(PSA) When it comes to cores. On the apple version of this app, all the cores apple has approved are already included in the app. Can’t add or remove any cores like you can on all the other platforms when running retroarch. If a core is not in retroarch on an apple platform, it is not an approved core or is limited by apple restrictions and will not play well. Apple is not allowing JIT. This is a problem for ps2, psp, and GameCube for sure.
(PRO TIP. .7z to .zip) Using the files app, you can unzip a .7z file. Just rename it to .zip and select it. The files app will unzip it. Done. No need for an unzipping app.
(REQUIRED.) Some cores will crash or not boot a rom. I have found this to be mostly related to bios files not being in the app. (To add bios files = Use the files app. Go to on my iphone. Then find the retroarch folder, and select it. Then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch. After that scroll down to the folder named system. Dump all of your bios for all systems into this folder. I would add any bios you can find for the systems you are playing. This will stop the crashing and increase compatibility with games from different regions.) , (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) If you try to load a rom and it still crashes use a different core to launch that game if it is available. It could be a compatibility issue between the core and the rom. Or it could be region locked and you still need another bios file.

1.) (REQUIRED.) If you want to save yourself some annoyances with Retroarch on iOS, then after you make a change to your settings, hit home in the navigation menu, select configuration file, then save configuration file. I choose the overwrite option, but you can choose what best fits you. We can do this on other platforms by just tapping the back button until it exits the application, but there isn’t a back button on iOS.

2.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to turn on vibration/ haptic feedback. Go to settings in the navigation menu, input and scroll down to haptic feedback. I turn both options on and leave the vibration strength at 100%.

3.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the user interface. You can do this in two ways. A.) Changing the theme. Go to settings, user interface, appearance, select color theme and then choose your favorite. Mine is material ui dark. A.1) If you want you can also choose another app icon. The setting is the first option under user interface. B.) I like the stock setup, but you can change the entire layout to be different. You can go to settings, drivers, and select menu. The stock option is glui. You can choose the option you like the best in this section.

4.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the date and time format at the top to be something I am more used to. Go to settings, user interface, menu item visibility and select “style of date and time” towards the end of the list.

5.) (REQUIRED.) GETTING GAMES IN THE APP. Then we get to importing content. In the iOS version, Retroarch wants the roms to be placed into a folder that is inside of the Retroarch app itself. What I do is take the roms I want to play on Retroarch and move them into the Retroarch app. Here is how I do that. I have a folder already on my iPhone with the roms I want to play on Retroarch. (I store my roms on device. Using the Files app, then on my iphone and save the folder on your phone first. We move it to where it needs to go in the next step.). My folder is named “Retroarch Roms”. It can be really helpful to stay organized. Especially if you also use the Delta and ppsspp apps. I use the files app to locate this folder. Then I select it and move it. Or you could copy it but be mindful of files sizes and storage space. (I put “copy it” in here for a major reason. If you store all your roms in retroarch. And one day you want to delete and reinstall the app…. Bye bye roms. My library is too big to back up to iCloud. But that might be a good option if it works. I have not tested it.). Then move or paste this folder inside of the Retroarch app folder under downloads. (Files app, on my iphone, scroll down to retroarch – select it, then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch, then scroll down to downloads, select it. Your entire folder or multiple folders can go here.) Then hit the playlist menu (middle navigation button.) and select import content. Then scan directory. Click documents/retroarch, scroll down to downloads, then select scan this directory. Then let it do its thing. I like to leave the app open and on screen so the iphone/ipad doesn’t limit background activity. After it is done you can come back to the playlist menu to look through and launch your games. After you have launched a few games, You can go to Home, history and launch your recently played games from there. There is a favorites tab in the playlist section, but I don’t use it personally.

6.) (UPDATES.) I like to make sure a few things are up to date. So, I hit the home menu at the bottom. Go to online updater. Make sure on demand thumbnails is toggled on. (This will add box art on demand as you scroll through your playlist/library.) Then just below that update core files and all the others below it. Update all of them. Then scroll back up to playlist thumbnail updater (This is how you download box art manually for each playlist/library.) and select any system libraries/playlists that are missing album art. If it is your first time, I would just select them all to make sure box art is there when you browse your library. If you want some free to use roms go to content downloader and some homebrew and other roms are in there for each system.

(PSA.2) After you are done changing any settings. Do not just close the app. Make sure you save the configuration file like I mentioned at the start of this post. If not, the settings you changed will be “forgotten” but the roms and album art should still be there. Man, I wish someone told me that before I wasted my life 3 times in a row.

7.) (PS1) Firmware for ps1. To run games correctly you will need firmware for the ps1. PSX rearmed can get you started and playing but the “beetle psx hw” core for ps1 has an upscaling capability. This will make games look tremendously better. Firmware location. After a quick search on the interwebs, you have what you need. (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and which are required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) Use your files app. Go to on my iPhone. Find the Retroarch app folder. Click the folder in there named retroarch. Scroll down to system and dump the bios files there. I can’t say where to get them, but “psx bios” should be easy to find in an archive if you search the googles. Make sure the spelling matches specifically. You can look in settings. Scroll down to directory. And you can scroll through where the app is currently looking for bios and you can change that if you need to. You can also go to settings, select core, manage cores, then scroll to the core you are looking for, then select the core. Scroll down to firmware section and select the “looking in” option to see where it wants the bios. It will tell you if any bios are missing as well. This can apply to any core. Not just ps1 cores.

8.) (SEGA SATURN.). Make sure all the Saturn bios are in the system folder inside the Retroarch folder (Look at the other bullet points on this post to see how. Some games will not launch unless the core has the correct bios. ). Roms. After extracting a rom, it should be a folder full of bin files. Put that whole folder (For each game/rom) in a Saturn roms sub folder. (Make a new folder called “Saturn Roms”.) Using the files app, go to on my iphone, go to the retroarch folder, then the retroarch sub folder. Then scroll down and select downloads. This is where you want to store the Saturn Roms folder. When you import content into retroarch. It will scan the folders and subfolders that have all the bin files. Games will appear as one in the playlist/library.

8.) (FAST VIDEO OR AUDiO) Sync issues. I turned on audio sync and it ran sonic super fast. Other people have had the opposite problem and need to turn it on. The same goes for video sync. The fixes are different depending on the device. Go to settings, video, synchronization, and adjust. You can change the refresh rate in the settings, video, output, vertical refresh rate in this section. This should only be adjusted if you are having issues. Audio sync is under settings, audio, synchronization. It says recommended to turn on. Mine goes crazy if I toggle that on. So I leave it off.

9.) (CORE OPTIONS.) Some systems have multiple cores available. I change them out on the fly by hitting playlist in the navigation menu (Middle option.) Scrolling down to the system I want to play. Then selecting the game, I am looking for. (Do not select run yet.) Then scrolling down and selecting set core association. If you want to use the same core for an entire playlist/library. You can go to settings. Playlists, manage playlists, then select the system you want to set a core for, scroll down to default core, and you can pick the one that works best for your needs.

(DIRECT LINK.) Below is a direct link to the app on the app store for those that have trouble finding it.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/retroarch/id6499539433

(PSA) I want to start off by recommending retroarch for iPad users. Delta is a FANTASTIC app. I highly recommend it. That being said, if you want to play on an iPad in landscape mode, there is only the iOS version of Delta on iPad. The developer is working on the app for iPad, but as of writing this, retroarch scales perfectly.
(PSA) When it comes to cores. On the apple version of this app, all the cores apple has approved are already included in the app. Can’t add or remove any cores like you can on all the other platforms when running retroarch. If a core is not in retroarch on an apple platform, it is not an approved core or is limited by apple restrictions and will not play well. Apple is not allowing JIT. This is a problem for ps2, psp, and GameCube for sure.
(PRO TIP. .7z to .zip) Using the files app, you can unzip a .7z file. Just rename it to .zip and select it. The files app will unzip it. Done. No need for an unzipping app.
(REQUIRED.) Some cores will crash or not boot a rom. I have found this to be mostly related to bios files not being in the app. (To add bios files = Use the files app. Go to on my iphone. Then find the retroarch folder, and select it. Then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch. After that scroll down to the folder named system. Dump all of your bios for all systems into this folder. I would add any bios you can find for the systems you are playing. This will stop the crashing and increase compatibility with games from different regions.) , (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) If you try to load a rom and it still crashes use a different core to launch that game if it is available. It could be a compatibility issue between the core and the rom. Or it could be region locked and you still need another bios file.

1.) (REQUIRED.) If you want to save yourself some annoyances with Retroarch on iOS, then after you make a change to your settings, hit home in the navigation menu, select configuration file, then save configuration file. I choose the overwrite option, but you can choose what best fits you. We can do this on other platforms by just tapping the back button until it exits the application, but there isn’t a back button on iOS.

2.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to turn on vibration/ haptic feedback. Go to settings in the navigation menu, input and scroll down to haptic feedback. I turn both options on and leave the vibration strength at 100%.

3.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the user interface. You can do this in two ways. A.) Changing the theme. Go to settings, user interface, appearance, select color theme and then choose your favorite. Mine is material ui dark. A.1) If you want you can also choose another app icon. The setting is the first option under user interface. B.) I like the stock setup, but you can change the entire layout to be different. You can go to settings, drivers, and select menu. The stock option is glui. You can choose the option you like the best in this section.

4.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the date and time format at the top to be something I am more used to. Go to settings, user interface, menu item visibility and select “style of date and time” towards the end of the list.

5.) (REQUIRED.) GETTING GAMES IN THE APP. Then we get to importing content. In the iOS version, Retroarch wants the roms to be placed into a folder that is inside of the Retroarch app itself. What I do is take the roms I want to play on Retroarch and move them into the Retroarch app. Here is how I do that. I have a folder already on my iPhone with the roms I want to play on Retroarch. (I store my roms on device. Using the Files app, then on my iphone and save the folder on your phone first. We move it to where it needs to go in the next step.). My folder is named “Retroarch Roms”. It can be really helpful to stay organized. Especially if you also use the Delta and ppsspp apps. I use the files app to locate this folder. Then I select it and move it. Or you could copy it but be mindful of files sizes and storage space. (I put “copy it” in here for a major reason. If you store all your roms in retroarch. And one day you want to delete and reinstall the app…. Bye bye roms. My library is too big to back up to iCloud. But that might be a good option if it works. I have not tested it.). Then move or paste this folder inside of the Retroarch app folder under downloads. (Files app, on my iphone, scroll down to retroarch – select it, then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch, then scroll down to downloads, select it. Your entire folder or multiple folders can go here.) Then hit the playlist menu (middle navigation button.) and select import content. Then scan directory. Click documents/retroarch, scroll down to downloads, then select scan this directory. Then let it do its thing. I like to leave the app open and on screen so the iphone/ipad doesn’t limit background activity. After it is done you can come back to the playlist menu to look through and launch your games. After you have launched a few games, You can go to Home, history and launch your recently played games from there. There is a favorites tab in the playlist section, but I don’t use it personally.

6.) (UPDATES.) I like to make sure a few things are up to date. So, I hit the home menu at the bottom. Go to online updater. Make sure on demand thumbnails is toggled on. (This will add box art on demand as you scroll through your playlist/library.) Then just below that update core files and all the others below it. Update all of them. Then scroll back up to playlist thumbnail updater (This is how you download box art manually for each playlist/library.) and select any system libraries/playlists that are missing album art. If it is your first time, I would just select them all to make sure box art is there when you browse your library. If you want some free to use roms go to content downloader and some homebrew and other roms are in there for each system.

(PSA.2) After you are done changing any settings. Do not just close the app. Make sure you save the configuration file like I mentioned at the start of this post. If not, the settings you changed will be “forgotten” but the roms and album art should still be there. Man, I wish someone told me that before I wasted my life 3 times in a row.

7.) (PS1) Firmware for ps1. To run games correctly you will need firmware for the ps1. PSX rearmed can get you started and playing but the “beetle psx hw” core for ps1 has an upscaling capability. This will make games look tremendously better. Firmware location. After a quick search on the interwebs, you have what you need. (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and which are required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) Use your files app. Go to on my iPhone. Find the Retroarch app folder. Click the folder in there named retroarch. Scroll down to system and dump the bios files there. I can’t say where to get them, but “psx bios” should be easy to find in an archive if you search the googles. Make sure the spelling matches specifically. You can look in settings. Scroll down to directory. And you can scroll through where the app is currently looking for bios and you can change that if you need to. You can also go to settings, select core, manage cores, then scroll to the core you are looking for, then select the core. Scroll down to firmware section and select the “looking in” option to see where it wants the bios. It will tell you if any bios are missing as well. This can apply to any core. Not just ps1 cores.

8.) (SEGA SATURN.). Make sure all the Saturn bios are in the system folder inside the Retroarch folder (Look at the other bullet points on this post to see how. Some games will not launch unless the core has the correct bios. ). Roms. After extracting a rom, it should be a folder full of bin files. Put that whole folder (For each game/rom) in a Saturn roms sub folder. (Make a new folder called “Saturn Roms”.) Using the files app, go to on my iphone, go to the retroarch folder, then the retroarch sub folder. Then scroll down and select downloads. This is where you want to store the Saturn Roms folder. When you import content into retroarch. It will scan the folders and subfolders that have all the bin files. Games will appear as one in the playlist/library.

8.) (FAST VIDEO OR AUDiO) Sync issues. I turned on audio sync and it ran sonic super fast. Other people have had the opposite problem and need to turn it on. The same goes for video sync. The fixes are different depending on the device. Go to settings, video, synchronization, and adjust. You can change the refresh rate in the settings, video, output, vertical refresh rate in this section. This should only be adjusted if you are having issues. Audio sync is under settings, audio, synchronization. It says recommended to turn on. Mine goes crazy if I toggle that on. So I leave it off.

9.) (CORE OPTIONS.) Some systems have multiple cores available. I change them out on the fly by hitting playlist in the navigation menu (Middle option.) Scrolling down to the system I want to play. Then selecting the game, I am looking for. (Do not select run yet.) Then scrolling down and selecting set core association. If you want to use the same core for an entire playlist/library. You can go to settings. Playlists, manage playlists, then select the system you want to set a core for, scroll down to default core, and you can pick the one that works best for your needs.

(DIRECT LINK.) Below is a direct link to the app on the app store for those that have trouble finding it.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/retroarch/id6499539433

(PSA) I want to start off by recommending retroarch for iPad users. Delta is a FANTASTIC app. I highly recommend it. That being said, if you want to play on an iPad in landscape mode, there is only the iOS version of Delta on iPad. The developer is working on the app for iPad, but as of writing this, retroarch scales perfectly.
(PSA) When it comes to cores. On the apple version of this app, all the cores apple has approved are already included in the app. Can’t add or remove any cores like you can on all the other platforms when running retroarch. If a core is not in retroarch on an apple platform, it is not an approved core or is limited by apple restrictions and will not play well. Apple is not allowing JIT. This is a problem for ps2, psp, and GameCube for sure.
(PRO TIP. .7z to .zip) Using the files app, you can unzip a .7z file. Just rename it to .zip and select it. The files app will unzip it. Done. No need for an unzipping app.
(REQUIRED.) Some cores will crash or not boot a rom. I have found this to be mostly related to bios files not being in the app. (To add bios files = Use the files app. Go to on my iphone. Then find the retroarch folder, and select it. Then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch. After that scroll down to the folder named system. Dump all of your bios for all systems into this folder. I would add any bios you can find for the systems you are playing. This will stop the crashing and increase compatibility with games from different regions.) , (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) If you try to load a rom and it still crashes use a different core to launch that game if it is available. It could be a compatibility issue between the core and the rom. Or it could be region locked and you still need another bios file.

1.) (REQUIRED.) If you want to save yourself some annoyances with Retroarch on iOS, then after you make a change to your settings, hit home in the navigation menu, select configuration file, then save configuration file. I choose the overwrite option, but you can choose what best fits you. We can do this on other platforms by just tapping the back button until it exits the application, but there isn’t a back button on iOS.

2.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to turn on vibration/ haptic feedback. Go to settings in the navigation menu, input and scroll down to haptic feedback. I turn both options on and leave the vibration strength at 100%.

3.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the user interface. You can do this in two ways. A.) Changing the theme. Go to settings, user interface, appearance, select color theme and then choose your favorite. Mine is material ui dark. A.1) If you want you can also choose another app icon. The setting is the first option under user interface. B.) I like the stock setup, but you can change the entire layout to be different. You can go to settings, drivers, and select menu. The stock option is glui. You can choose the option you like the best in this section.

4.) (OPTIONAL.) I like to change the date and time format at the top to be something I am more used to. Go to settings, user interface, menu item visibility and select “style of date and time” towards the end of the list.

5.) (REQUIRED.) GETTING GAMES IN THE APP. Then we get to importing content. In the iOS version, Retroarch wants the roms to be placed into a folder that is inside of the Retroarch app itself. What I do is take the roms I want to play on Retroarch and move them into the Retroarch app. Here is how I do that. I have a folder already on my iPhone with the roms I want to play on Retroarch. (I store my roms on device. Using the Files app, then on my iphone and save the folder on your phone first. We move it to where it needs to go in the next step.). My folder is named “Retroarch Roms”. It can be really helpful to stay organized. Especially if you also use the Delta and ppsspp apps. I use the files app to locate this folder. Then I select it and move it. Or you could copy it but be mindful of files sizes and storage space. (I put “copy it” in here for a major reason. If you store all your roms in retroarch. And one day you want to delete and reinstall the app…. Bye bye roms. My library is too big to back up to iCloud. But that might be a good option if it works. I have not tested it.). Then move or paste this folder inside of the Retroarch app folder under downloads. (Files app, on my iphone, scroll down to retroarch – select it, then select the subfolder that is also named retroarch, then scroll down to downloads, select it. Your entire folder or multiple folders can go here.) Then hit the playlist menu (middle navigation button.) and select import content. Then scan directory. Click documents/retroarch, scroll down to downloads, then select scan this directory. Then let it do its thing. I like to leave the app open and on screen so the iphone/ipad doesn’t limit background activity. After it is done you can come back to the playlist menu to look through and launch your games. After you have launched a few games, You can go to Home, history and launch your recently played games from there. There is a favorites tab in the playlist section, but I don’t use it personally.

6.) (UPDATES.) I like to make sure a few things are up to date. So, I hit the home menu at the bottom. Go to online updater. Make sure on demand thumbnails is toggled on. (This will add box art on demand as you scroll through your playlist/library.) Then just below that update core files and all the others below it. Update all of them. Then scroll back up to playlist thumbnail updater (This is how you download box art manually for each playlist/library.) and select any system libraries/playlists that are missing album art. If it is your first time, I would just select them all to make sure box art is there when you browse your library. If you want some free to use roms go to content downloader and some homebrew and other roms are in there for each system.

(PSA.2) After you are done changing any settings. Do not just close the app. Make sure you save the configuration file like I mentioned at the start of this post. If not, the settings you changed will be “forgotten” but the roms and album art should still be there. Man, I wish someone told me that before I wasted my life 3 times in a row.

7.) (PS1) Firmware for ps1. To run games correctly you will need firmware for the ps1. PSX rearmed can get you started and playing but the “beetle psx hw” core for ps1 has an upscaling capability. This will make games look tremendously better. Firmware location. After a quick search on the interwebs, you have what you need. (To find what bios are missing, open the retroarch app. Go to settings, core, Manage cores, Scroll down to the core you want to use, Select the core. Then scroll down to firmware. Just below that, you will see which bios are optional. Which ones are missing and which are required. The (!) is just a bullet point.) Use your files app. Go to on my iPhone. Find the Retroarch app folder. Click the folder in there named retroarch. Scroll down to system and dump the bios files there. I can’t say where to get them, but “psx bios” should be easy to find in an archive if you search the googles. Make sure the spelling matches specifically. You can look in settings. Scroll down to directory. And you can scroll through where the app is currently looking for bios and you can change that if you need to. You can also go to settings, select core, manage cores, then scroll to the core you are looking for, then select the core. Scroll down to firmware section and select the “looking in” option to see where it wants the bios. It will tell you if any bios are missing as well. This can apply to any core. Not just ps1 cores.

8.) (SEGA SATURN.). Make sure all the Saturn bios are in the system folder inside the Retroarch folder (Look at the other bullet points on this post to see how. Some games will not launch unless the core has the correct bios. ). Roms. After extracting a rom, it should be a folder full of bin files. Put that whole folder (For each game/rom) in a Saturn roms sub folder. (Make a new folder called “Saturn Roms”.) Using the files app, go to on my iphone, go to the retroarch folder, then the retroarch sub folder. Then scroll down and select downloads. This is where you want to store the Saturn Roms folder. When you import content into retroarch. It will scan the folders and subfolders that have all the bin files. Games will appear as one in the playlist/library.

8.) (FAST VIDEO OR AUDiO) Sync issues. I turned on audio sync and it ran sonic super fast. Other people have had the opposite problem and need to turn it on. The same goes for video sync. The fixes are different depending on the device. Go to settings, video, synchronization, and adjust. You can change the refresh rate in the settings, video, output, vertical refresh rate in this section. This should only be adjusted if you are having issues. Audio sync is under settings, audio, synchronization. It says recommended to turn on. Mine goes crazy if I toggle that on. So I leave it off.

9.) (CORE OPTIONS.) Some systems have multiple cores available. I change them out on the fly by hitting playlist in the navigation menu (Middle option.) Scrolling down to the system I want to play. Then selecting the game, I am looking for. (Do not select run yet.) Then scrolling down and selecting set core association. If you want to use the same core for an entire playlist/library. You can go to settings. Playlists, manage playlists, then select the system you want to set a core for, scroll down to default core, and you can pick the one that works best for your needs.

(DIRECT LINK.) Below is a direct link to the app on the app store for those that have trouble finding it.
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/retroarch/id6499539433

Credit to u/SpacePaladin15 for the NOP Universe.
Hey, I hope everyone's doing well!
Today we return to the namesake of this fic, an actual lesson about animals. This one focuses on Koalas! One of Australia's most recognisable critters. I hope you enjoy.
It's hardly worth mentioning, seeing as I'm an infrequent poster at the best of times, but I'll not have another chapter out for a few weeks due to limited free time and devoting most of my writing time to an upcoming ficnapping. Be sure to look out for that!
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Memory transcription subject: Rysel, Venlil Environmental Researcher
Date [Standardised human time]: 8th September 2136
“Koalas!”
Bernard’s energised voice boomed through the air as the classroom's monitor flickered into life, images of this paws lecture topic popping up one after the other until the entire screen was filled with a collage of furry quadrupeds.
Squee! I’ll never get tired of this, it’s all so cool!
As usual the sight of something new stirred immediate discussion, hushed murmurs swelling into vibrant discourse in little more than a heartbeat. Most of the class swiftly huddled together into small herds to bounce ideas around while the rest opted to stick to the solace of their own thoughts as they took in the display.
I’d be quite happy in either situation, though seeing as Sandi had already sunk into deep concentration and Kailo had peeled off to talk with Ennerif and Solenk, it seemed the decision had been made for me on this occasion. Wasting no more time on idle inspection of the people around me, I focused my full attention forward, eager to form first impressions before the lesson began in earnest.
Now then, time to make some educated guesses. What traits does this animal have? I wonder if I’ll get any right this paw?
Professional assumptions went paw-in-paw with the lectures, examining and coming up with hypotheses about the specimens was only natural. Recently however, I’d started to make a little game of it to make things even more interesting than usual. A veritable bonfire of ideas had been set ablaze within me, fueled by my newfound knowledge of Earthen wildlife. Every flash and spark of the flame was a fresh theory I could try to apply to the lectures. It was an invigorating exercise that further stoked my unceasing wonderment.
So far I’d only done this once during the previous class and, to my disappointment, I’d not done too well.
I was right when I guessed that chickens were omnivores, but wrong in my assumption that they could fly. And that red thing on their head, the um… what was it called? The comb! Yes, the comb. I thought that was to attract mates, but it regulates body heat instead. It’s fascinating. Oh! Stars damn it I’m rambling!
I bapped my tail against my leg, the soft thud being just enough to snap me back from my runaway thoughts before I went completely wall-eyed. I was becoming more and more accustomed to getting lost in my own head while remaining conscious of the fact; it was happening so frequently now that it was pretty much impossible not to. Now I was able to pull myself back to the world around me without having to rely on someone else shaking me out of it. Most of the time anyway.
Sandi still keeps an eye on me, and Kailo even decided to help out once without being too snide about it. Anyway where was I? Oh yeah, Koalas.
Glancing at the furred animals, two things immediately stood out. Firstly, their eyes were in a more central position on their face. And second, all the images showed them being on or close to trees. There were other noteworthy observations of course, such as the Koala’s prominent nose and rounded features, but they fell to the wayside as I honed in on these points first.
Hmmm… ok. I already know to discount the idea that they’re predators just from eye position, so let’s get that thought out of here. Maybe omnivorous? Herbivore? Agh no, I can’t just guess that for the sake of guessing, that’s the same problem! Hrm, it’s tough making these assumptions now that everything I thought I knew has been turned on its head.
Nevermind, I’ll focus on the other thing. All the trees make me think they’re arboreal, that seems to be a reasonable assumption. I wonder what else they-
Clearing his throat, Bernard broke my concentration, his call for attention silencing the murmuring conversation and redirecting everyone's focus to the lecturer's podium.
His gaze panned across the room as he waited for everyone to settle, a beaming smile lighting up his face, “As ever I’m delighted to see you all get so into the subject matter from the get go. I’m looking forward to hearing what you were discussing should you wish to share. For now though, how about we get started, hm?”
A chorus of merry bleats rang out from across the audience, ears and tails flicking happily in agreement. Bernard's grin grew in tandem with the class's fervour, clasping his hands together enthusiastically as he launched into the lesson, “Excellent! Then let’s get started.”
The pictures on screen dissolved away until only one remained, enlarging to cover the entire monitor with the fluffy grey face of a Koala peacefully reclining in the crook of a tree.
“Ah, there we are,” Bernard’s baritone timbre drifted through the room as he looked up at the image, his own tone reflecting the relaxed attitude of the animal on screen, “He looks so comfortable doesn’t he? Perfectly at peace with the world, not too surprising considering they sleep almost 20 hours a day. A full paw!”
A wave of beeps and gasps rippled through the herd, punctuated by a single yawn-dressed comment from Rova, “A full paw? Hwuuu… jealous.”
Her drowsy remark elicited several whistling giggles from the herd, Bernard's own jovial chortle joining them as he turned to face her, “Late evening Rova?”
I twisted a little in my seat, panning an eye in Rova’s direction just in time to see her bleary eyes bulge open and her ears shoot up, now intensely aware of the fact she hadn’t been as quiet as she thought she had.
Sitting up abruptly, she hastily tapped down errant tufts of wool that’d flared in surprise as she composed herself, though her nervousness at becoming the centre of the class's attention was still plain for all to hear, “Uh- I um… achem, a little bit yes, um- …sorry. Lokki dragged me out to a movie viewing in the rec centre. It went on pretty late.”
A melodramatic bray from the other side of the room drew everyone's ears away from Rova to the now aghast Lokki, paw splayed across his chest in faux indignation, “Dragged you? Well excuse me for trying to broaden your horizons with human movies. That’ll be the list time I- …Ahaaaa…”
Lokki’s theatrics were cut short by a heavy yawn of his own, a swell of whistling laughter rolling through the herd as vibrant bloom lit up his snout, a sight that elicited a particularly amused bleat from Rova.
Turning away from the duo I looked back at Bernard, pleased to see that he was chuckling along with us. Behaviour like Lokki’s would never have been tolerated in my school and university days but, in stark contrast, Bernard revelled in it, the liveliness of his students fueling his own bombastic style of teaching. It was a pleasant change of pace having a teacher who let us all be ourselves in class; provided we weren’t too disruptive to the lesson plan.
Speaking of which.
His laughter still rumbling through the air, Bernard clapped his hands to pull everyone's focus back to him, “Ok, ok, let’s get back to it then shall we? Rova. Lokki. Hopefully the two of you can stay awake long enough until you can grab yourselves a coffee.”
As the class settled down and the last few giggling beeps petered out, Benard pointed a hand to the screen, “So, the Koala. Let’s start simple shall we? They are herbivorous marsupials native to the eastern and southern coasts of Australia. Easily recognised the world over, they are a well known and beloved symbol of their homeland, along with other animals such as the Kangaroo and the Emu. The former of which you might remember from one of our earlier lectures.”
Indeed I did remember, along with how angry Bernard had gotten after some speh-head had derided the Yotul after he explained how he held specific disdain for such attitudes.
Uuuggghh… I never want to see him angry again. So chilling.
I shook my ears in an effort to dismiss the unpleasant memory, panning my eyes back to the monitor to try and distract myself by inspecting the Koala’s physical appearance once more. Thankfully, by some Star's blessed intervention, Bernard had the exact same idea.
“Koala’s are rather squat in stature, ranging around sixty to eighty-five centimetres in length and weighing little more than fifteen to sixteen kilograms at their full size. As you can see, the fur of this fellow before you is a lovely silvery grey, but their fur can also sport a chocolaty brown hue as well. Arguably the most distinctive part of their appearance is their head, being rather large for their body size and having rounded ears, a large nose, and a pair of small eyes. These are often brown but variations do occur.”
It didn’t slip past my notice that Bernard didn’t bother to point out that the Koala’s eyes were forward facing. I didn’t think he’d simply forgotten, so perhaps he just felt it wasn’t necessary given that he’d already stated it was herbivorous. Either way, no one stuck up a paw or tail to question him.
“Now this will hardly be surprising considering how long they sleep, but Koala’s are largely sedentary and it’s rather easy to see why when you have a look into the contents of their diet.”
With the press of a button the Koala on screen was replaced by images of vibrant green vegetation. Soaring trees and flowering shrubbery weaved together across landscape framed pictures pulled admiring trills from the herd, the diversity of the plant life being shown standing as a reminder that it wasn’t only animal life that flourished on Earth.
After giving everyone the chance to take in the picturesque scenes, Bernard casually hammered that point home, “This is eucalyptus or, more accurately, a choice selection of more than 700 plants belonging to the eucalyptus genus, though the Koala itself favours 30 of them in particular.”
700!? Stars…
Realising that my ears had drooped in my momentary awe, I twisted them back to tune into the lesson, only for them to splay out in shock at the next words to come out of Bernard's mouth.
“The leaves of these plants are the primary food source of the Koala and there are a couple things worth mentioning when talking about these plants. For starters they do not have much nutritional or caloric value, leading to the Koala’s low-energy lifestyle. Additionally, they contain toxic compounds.”
A shiver instantly ran through the herd, ears flicking rapidly in confusion and alarm followed by a few quizzical whispers. It didn’t take long for someone to decide to give a proper voice to the murmuring.
“Excuse me Doctor. Did we hear that right? Their diet is made up of toxic flora?” Vlek’s grumbling incredulity cut through the herd's mutterings with ease. Until Kailo’s recent change of heart, the fifty something rotation old blonde Venlil had been a close second in terms of scepticism. Mercifully his rebuttals had always been relevant questions as opposed to ranting diatribes, so he at least remained on topic if nothing else.
Bernard nodded in confirmation, smiling back at Vlek while absentmindedly twirling the end of his moustache, “You heard me right, they do indeed consume plants that are toxic. Just not to them.”
Any worry or uncertainty still clinging to the herd was swept away by the provision of the glaringly obvious answer, leaving me chuckling inwardly at the oversight.
Ah of course! The plant might be poisonous but they’ll have evolved to deal with that. Stars… I’m so used to expecting the unexpected with Earth that I didn’t even consider the simplest solution.
“I see, thank you Doctor,” Vlek replied, a tinge of interest still audible in his tone, “I assume they’ve developed some adaptation to become immune to the harmful effects?”
The question immediately evoked a smirk from our teacher, but he hurriedly suppressed it while bobbing his head, “They have indeed. There are several factors that aid in their digestion of eucalyptus leaves without succumbing to the plant's baleful properties. The first is a part of the intestinal tract called the cecum. It contains a microbiome that allows the Koala to digest the eucalyptus. Coupled with this is an enzyme in the Koala’s liver that helps them break down the toxins. They are also capable of sniffing out the plants with the least amount of toxins, ensuring that they ingest as little as possible.”
Pausing for a breath Bernard looked back at the screen before turning to face us, another grin curling at the edges of his mouth as he continued with his explanation, “This is mostly for adult Koala’s, because while their young also possess these same adaptations, they don’t just go straight to munching through foliage right after being born. No, they need a little help making that jump and getting a stomach full of all that good gut bacteria. It’s nothing bad, but those of a sensitive stomach may wish to prepare themselves for this next part.”
Bernard’s assurances did little to assuage the concern that his warning had foisted upon us. Having been exposed to so much of the weirdness Earth had to offer everyone always ended up on edge whenever Bernard gave advice like this, even if he did say it in jest.
What strange nonsense thing do Koala pups do then? Judging by the way he’s acting it probably isn’t something as simple as drinking milk from the mother. Hmmm…
“So,” Bernard began, snapping us from our pensive stupor, “Young Koala’s, known as joeys, have a gestation period of thirty-five days on average, which is approximately forty-two paws. Once born they travel from the birth canal to a pouch in their mother so that they can continue to develop and grow. In the pouch the joey finds and latches onto one of two teats and these provide the newborn with a steady stream of nourishing milk. It spends the next six to seven months growing in the pouch, its eyes, ears, and fur all developing as time goes on.”
Okay, interesting. But this is exactly how I thought it’d go. What’s different?
The unexpected normalcy of the Koala’s birth and growth cycle had calmed everyone's nerves, only to be replaced with an air of suspicion as we waited with rapt attention for Bernard to drop the other claw and upend our expectations like he always did.
Not wanting to keep us in further suspense he forged ahead, the tempo of his voice picking up as the smile started to crease his face once more, “Now to make the switch from milk to eucalyptus, the mother also feeds the joey a substance called pap. It comes from the cecum I mentioned earlier, and contains all the gut bacteria required to help the young Koala in making the switch to eucalyptus.”
He stopped and looked around, searching us for a reaction to what I felt was a rather bland statement of fact. What was it he was saying without actually saying? Koala pups drink milk to mature and then include this pap substance so that they can start eating plants. I don’t see what-
The cecum is part of the intestine.
I blinked.
I blinked again, the intrusive interruption scouring my brain clean of any other thought bar the one it’d just implanted itself in the forefront of my mind.
Oh stars. They-
“They eat their own poop!?”
The shocked bleat shattered the peace of the room to reveal that most if not all of us had come to the same tail curling conclusion. As the hall filled with unrestrained vocalisations of disgust, an ‘Ugh’ over here and a ‘Blegh’ over there, Bernard’s own bellowing laughter joined the throng of voices.
“Ha! Everytime! Each and every time. Clearly it doesn’t matter if my students are Human or Venlil. Whenever someone learns about the Koala’s dietary development the reaction is the same!”
Pleased with himself beyond reason, Bernard chuckled away while the rest of us grappled with this ghastly reality. While there were plenty of animals that feasted on things that ranged from simply unappealing all the way to the stomach churningly grotesque, I’d never heard of an animal that actively consumed the excrement of its own species. Benefits aside, the prospect of having to do that to survive to adulthood sent a shiver of revulsion down my spine.
Ewww… Stars, I hope I forget this feeling by 2nd meal. They’re serving sturen and magamroot stew later. I was really looking forward to it.
With the herds mood beginning to temper Bernard tapped the podiums controls, removing the verdant collage of eucalyptus to display several similar yet distinct environments, still chortling merrily to himself in the process, “Ok then, with that little foray into their diet complete, why don’t we look at their habitat in more detail? As you might imagine given their diet and arboreal nature, Koala’s live in forested regions, and can be found in tropical and temperate zones. About a century ago they were classed as a vulnerable species, however efforts were made to turn this around and increase their numbers. Sadly the largest factor in their decline was human activity, as the fertile lands that gave rise to their bountiful forests were coveted farm land for our settlements.”
It was strange to hear Bernard so matter of factly admit to humanity's negative impacts on other species. He’d alluded to such things in the past but always with an air of caution, carefully pawing the line between honestly answering a question while not painting humanity as uncaring and destructive. AKA, the ‘predators’ we’d all initially expected them to be.
Perhaps his comfort in making such admissions was a reflection of the class's comfort with him, for no one so much as batted an ear. Even Kailo, who I would’ve expected to jump at the chance to use this as a prime example of predatory danger, only flicked an ear in stern yet silent concern.
A cough from Bernard drew my attention back, a new picture on screen that showed a forest from a bird's-eye view. Drawn across the image were around a dozen ringed areas, some bordering one another while others overlapped to some degree. It took me a moment, but I soon recognised that what I was looking at was a map, the rings representing what I assumed to be territories. And it didn’t take much effort to guess who each one belonged to.
“From habitats we move onto behaviours, so let’s start with territories. Koala’s are solitary animals. Yes, despite being herbivores. Considering they’re only awake for roughly four hours of the day I can hardly blame them. Lots to do and not a lot of time to do it. Jokes aside, once they mature they are quite independent, carving out a little slice of land for themselves, as displayed in this example, called a Home Range. That is not to say they go it alone and leave everything else behind however. Rather, as shown in the map behind me, they live in their own space while still being part of a larger social group.”
With another press of his pad the picture was updated to show one of two symbols in each segment, along with a key to the side of the map displayed in helpful Venlang. A quick glance told me that the symbols were representing whether the territory belonged to a male or female of the species.
“As you can see there is quite a bit of overlap between different Koala’s territories. It is in these areas that most of the socialising takes place between neighbours. The trees in these locations represent the few areas where intrusion across territories is acceptable for the sake of social interaction. Outside of that the Koala’s stick to their own territories for the most part, with the exceptions of Koala’s who are passing through, attempting to become part of the social group themselves, or dominant males who sometimes go off into another Koala’s range. But how do they know where one range begins and another range ends you might ask? Well, this brings us onto the next part of the lecture. How do Koala’s communicate?”
Wiping away the map from the monitor, Bernard loaded up a video of a Koala sitting in a tree and pressed play. Head held high, the Koala’s body shook as it belted out a reverberating call into the wilderness that could only be described as a garbled combination of a car engine failing to turn over mixed with the hiccups of someone with a particularly sore throat.
That’s how they sound? Oof that must be rough on the lungs.
I clearly wasn’t the only one to share such a thought, because I clocked Sandi tracing a paw along her neck as the noise went on, ears fluttering in discomfort at the noise.
Bernard himself cleared his own throat as the video came to an end, minimising it and replacing it with another image of a tree with a Koala rubbing up against the bark, “I think they’ve got me beat on who’s got the deeper voice!”
His joke garnered several amused beeps, a rare reaction that caused a beaming smile to shine across his face at lighting speed, “Oh you’re too kind. I’ll be here all week. Now where were we? Oh yes! Communication. As you’ve just heard, Koala’s are capable of loud low pitched bellows that can carry over vast distances. These express everything from ‘Hello I’m over here’ to ‘This is my turf, stay away’. Bellowing is more common in the males than the females, opting for shouting matches as opposed to outright fights when it comes to asserting dominance. Other vocal expressions include grunts, wails, and snarls if they’re acting particularly angsty. Mother and joey pairs also communicate through gentle clicking, squeaking, and murmuring sounds. And there’s one more thing worth mentioning. Something they have in common with Humans and Venlil when it comes to emoting.”
Really? They do something we do?
Curious, I pressed myself against the desk, straining as close as I could to once more scrutinise the Koala’s features. Not a lot stood out to me at first, the grey marsupial not sharing many similarities with a Venlil that I could identify.
Ok think. We show emotion with our ears, tails, and our wool on occasion. They don’t have tails so it’s obviously not that. Wool standing on end is more a reaction than a conscious expression. So it must be the ears then.
To my quiet satisfaction, my hunch was soon validated by Bernard, “As well as their vocalisations, Koala’s are very emotive through their facial features. Just like humans, they use their mouths and lips to show how they feel, but these tend more towards the aggressive side of the scale than what you might see on a human. Regarding yourselves however, Koala’s utilise their ears in tandem with their mouth movements when showing strong emotion.”
I was delighted to hear that my assumption was correct, a little happy flick twisting out through my tail and bapping against my chair with a muted thump against the plastic.
Hehe yes! Got one right!
“Now then, we are getting close to lunchtime so I’ll finish this segment off with something I think you’ll find particularly interesting. Diplomacy.”
Perplexed mutterings followed in the wake of the bizarre inclusion to the lecture, my own thoughts being dominated by bewilderment as I tried and failed to make sense of how the two could possibly be related.
Why would Koala’s, or any animal for that matter, be linked to diplomacy? Hmmm...
I could understand dispatching exterminators to deal with a predator issue as a show of goodwill, that at least includes animals, but Humans aren’t like that so I think I can safely scratch that off the list.
Maybe the humans who live in that region benefited from Koala’s in some way. Could they have gotten something from them? But what?
Hopefully not what the pups get from their mothers.
Agh no! Begone awful intrusive thoughts. Blegh! I don’t need that in my head.
As I wrestled with the short-lived revulsion inflicted upon me by my Star's damned subconscious, Bernard placed a new image on screen, one that was decidedly different from all that had preceded it.
On screen were more than a couple dozen pictures of humans. Some were pictured alone while others congregated in large groups while cameras surrounded them from all angles. Across all the images, I noted two common themes. First of all, a solid majority of the humans were wearing formal wear similar to what I’d seen worn by UN representatives on TV. If the gaggle of journalists in the background of the photos didn’t already confirm my suspicions, then it was this similarity which made me conclude they were all people of some importance. Likely politicians judging from context clues.
Secondly, each of the individuals was interacting with a Koala in some form. Some cradled one against their chests while others were feeding it eucalyptus leaves or pellets of some kind. One of the assumed politicians had become an impromptu bed for a snoozing bundle of fur, a gleeful smile spread across their face as they lovingly gazed down at the sleeping Koala in their lap.
As I continued to stare at the assorted photos something clicked into place, a sudden spark flickering into life. A burgeoning light of comprehension that flared and swelled with every wide-eyed breath I took. Some things still escaped me, things I hoped would soon be explained, but in staring at all of the humans happy smiling faces, I was struck with an instant of pure understanding.
If someone, say a Nevok for instance, offered to gift me a creature that was common to them but which might exotic and breathtaking to a Venlil, how could my feelings not be swayed? How could I walk away from that encounter and not have grown closer to them as a result?
“Koala diplomacy,” Bernard waved his hand up at the monitor, a slight reverence in his tone, “My favourite kind of soft power diplomacy. Where political leaders take photo ops with Koala’s and, on occasion, the Australian government loans Koala’s to other nations for a time to bolster positive relations. It certainly helps that Koala’s are a beloved animal worldwide, drawing large crowds and revenue for countries fortunate enough to host the adorable critters.”
The truly alien concept predictably sparked instant discussion in the herd, two polar opposite schools of thought swiftly cementing themselves as the most popular opinions. Simultaneously, I heard one voice trill excitedly while another scoffed at what they clearly saw as a ridiculous and offensive notion.
“Squee! That’d be so cool! I’d love to get the chance to see a Liri from Coila. Remember the Rainbow Boa? Think of that shimmering effect and colour but put it on a bird! Ah! I’ve only heard their song on video. It’d be a treat to hear it in person!”
Ooo! I’ve read about them! I’d love to get up close to one.
“Loaning. As if animals are property to be hoarded and traded? Pugh! Another predatory trait the humans don’t want to acknowledge for what it is.”
Ugh, typical. Jump right to the worst possible option.
However, despite my dismissal of their disparaging fumings, an uncomfortable thought pressed upon my mind. While it was plain to see how much humans cared for the Koala, it didn’t change the fact that humans did keep animals as property just as the scornful herd member had said.
This begged a rather important, disquieting question. Aside from keeping some animals as cattle, a stomach tightening minefield I had no desire to step a claw onto right now, how else did humans keep other creatures. And how did they treat them?
Before I was fully conscious of doing it my paw was in the air, the question primed on my tongue.
Noticing my elevated paw Bernard pointed at me, smiling warmly, “Yes Rysel? What’s on your mind?”
Sorry Bernard. I hope this one’s not too awkward for you to answer.
Flicking my ear in appreciation, and waiting for everyone to settle enough so that I could be heard, I voiced my concerns as neutrally as possible, “Thank you Doctor. I uh, just had a thought. We know that humans keep certain animals for… particular reasons, and we know why. From how you’ve spoken about Koala’s I think it's fair to say that the same cannot be said for them. However, this makes me wonder, what other reasons do humans have for keeping animals and how do you treat them?”
A flash of surprise blinked across Bernard's eyes but vanished so quickly that it felt like I’d imagined it. Had he not expected such a question? Maybe he was just shocked that it’d been me who’d ended up asking it?
Stars, am I so predictable that no one expects me to ask difficult questions?
Unfortunately, a quick glance at my deskmates seemed to prove that to be the case, as both Sandi and Kailo were looking at me with differing degrees of astonishment flapping in their ears.
Well speh.
“A very good point Rysel, certainly one that’s worth raising. Yet another example of you all anticipating what I have to say before I can bring it up myself.” Bernard tapped the podium, switching off the monitor before returning his focus to me, “We won’t be needing that. I’ve nothing prepared that I can show you and we’re heading to lunch in a few minutes anyway. Still, that’s plenty of time to give you a bit of an answer.”
A bit? What does he mean just a bit?
Made even more curious by Bernard's preempted admission that he wasn’t going to fully answer my query, I dialled both my ears on him, fixing him with an inquisitive stare as he started to explain with a tone that was noticeably more nonchalant than any of his previous explanations.
“So, animals in captivity for reasons other than what you already know. Honestly I would love to delve into other reasons regarding why we keep animals. However, I have a lesson plan in the works that I hope to share with you all in the not too distant future. Some of it touches upon this very topic and I’d quite like to bundle it all together. That said, I can tell you how animals in captivity are treated. In short, the answer is very well. There are a mountain of laws both on private and public interests that govern the standards and ethical treatment of animals, and breaches of these laws are quite severe even for relatively minor infractions.”
While I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed by the vague answer to what was really the bulk of my question, I was at least satisfied by Bernard’s assurances that animals in captivity, such as the Koala, were well looked after. Considering the barely subdued grumbling coming from some corners of the audience it was clear that several of the herd didn’t believe Bernard outright, but I trusted him to be honest. Additionally, the mention of an upcoming lecture focused on humans keeping animals caused quite the buzz.
I felt a mix of excitement and trepidation at exploring the topic further. He’d pretty much confirmed we wouldn’t be talking about cattle farms, for which I was relieved, but that still left a huge amount of uncertainty in what was to come.
Humans keeping animals as cattle was a forgone conclusion. As horrifying as that reality was, it was one I could understand from a detached and strictly clinical point of view. Being predators they ate meat and therefore they kept cattle. But the concept of keeping animals for any other reason baffled me.
What could be the purpose? The diplomacy thing makes sense now that I have context, but what other reasons could they have.
The class's discussions were interrupted by the recognisable ring of the break bell, the shift in attention eliciting a change in conversation from confused hypotheses to peppy conversation on how everyone was planning to spend their break and what they had in mind for 2nd meal.
“Well I can see everyone’s excited for lunch, and who am I to disappoint,” chuckling Bernard waved us all up from our seats, pocketing his pad from the podium and heading to open the classroom door for us, “Enjoy your break, get a good rest along with a hearty meal, and I’ll see you all back here at the usual time.”
As everyone else filed out I stayed behind, waving at Sandi and Kailo as they left, and pawing over to Bernard once he and I were the only ones left in the room.
Ears folded down and with an apologetic tinge in my voice I greeted him as I sidled up to him, “Hey Bernard, I uh… sorry if that last question was unexpected.”
Chortling in reply, Bernard waved a hand through the air in a sign I’d come to understand meant ‘not a problem’.
“No need to apologise Rysel. It was a good question and most certainly not a problem.”
Heh, called it.
I sighed, allowing tension I didn’t realise I’d been holding to relax itself from my shoulders, “Phew, that’s a relief. I’m glad. I’m curious to hear what this new lesson is you’ve got in store for us by the way.”
Bernard wagged a finger at me, throwing up his eyebrows in mock amazement, “Oh are you now? Well I’m afraid you’ll have to remain curious for the time being. It’s going to be quite the surprise if all goes to plan. But…”
He trailed off, glancing at me before looking to the door like he was making sure no one else was around.
Wait, is he going to tell me? Oh please yes let me know now!
Stopping myself from jumping on the spot in excited anticipation, and trying my damndest to stop my tail from wagging in equal measure, I stared up at Bernard as he stewed in his thoughts before turning back to face me.
“I can’t tell you the specifics, but I’m working with Alejandro and Tolim to get something together. A trip that’s not a trip as it were. And when it happens, I’m going to need a few of the more accepting members of the class to lend me a hand. I’m hoping you and a couple others will be able to help with that?”
A trip that’s not a trip? What does that mean? Agh who cares about that right now! Bernard’s relying on me to help out!
Still trying not to keep myself from bouncing around with pup like glee I swished my tail and nodded my head in joint agreement, happy to help with whatever Bernard had in store for us, “Of course! Anything you need I’ll be there to lend a paw. You can count on me!”
A broad warm smile lit up Bernard's face, a hand patting me on the shoulder in appreciation, “Thank you Rysel. I knew I could rely on you but it still warms my heart to hear it. And, as thanks for this and for the many times you’ve shown your support, the surprise includes a little something special I think you’d appreciate the most.”
If my earlier enthusiasm had been at a nine, then the implication of a supposed gift sent it rocketing all the way to a hundred in a heartbeat.
“Wait… WHAT!? What do you mean? What are you doing?”
As impossible as it seemed, Bernard's grin grew even wider as I almost lost myself in wool shaking exhilaration, “Call it my own form of Koala diplomacy. But I’m afraid that’s all I can say for now. Wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise even for you!”
“Oh you ass!” Whistling jovially I bapped my tail against Bernard’s leg in fake indignation, evoking a barking bellowing laugh from the man himself.
Still laughing, the two of us departed the class and made for the canteen, my rumbling stomach leading me on while my mind spun with fantastical thoughts as to what Bernard had prepared for us.
And what specifically he had in store for me.

My husbands mother has had an issue initially with bedbugs and hoarding due to illness. while hoarding is an illness in itself we deemed that she simply could not be left alone mentally an need to care for her. we spoke often about how ill she was and both came to an agreement that we must care for her and what better way then get an extra room and simply care for her. shes been living with us for a few years now. and im starting to see her and what her issues are.. she WAS ill at one point but got much much better. i realised that she had issues at one point but she will not help herself in ANYWAY shape or form to the point that she justifies being disgusting. when she lived on her own we tried twice to get her out of a nasty situation. she had a major bedbug infestation in both of her houses. we cleaned out her house and basically got rid of everything but there were still some hanger ons and it infested her second place that we helped her out of....
this second place was next door to us. so we could of been closer. she neglected her dog and made us go out pick up SOME stuff for her. while we had that space she let the dog shit and piss all over the house and never even bathed she would simply buy new things an sit on her ass while trash and shit and piss would build up around her (this was when it was very bad and we decided to take her in) she got out of there which i though was for her own good. she brought in the bed bugs into a few of our homes and they infested our stuff us needing to start over constantly. we even got many exterminators but also costly. we changed to some natural fungus treatment and FINALLY it worked after 3 years of trying to get rid of them.
just this year alone i have a child on the way and its increasingly frustrating that even with a cleaner environment, her getting mental help. getting the proper meds and support i over heard her say to her therapist that she feels unwelcome because of how apparently obsessively clean i am. I am also NESTING and i never really lived in a messy home i dont like it. im not even asking her to clean her own room it is her space but my husband and my step son have tried to clean her room because frankly it does smell to some degree. and theres alot of clutter(way less horrid then what she had but bad nonetheless)
she just orders clothes instead of cleaning them even upon offering to clean her clothes for her. she hoards trash around my house saying she will recycle but she doesnt (beside the recycling bin itself) so i do it for her and she gets angry. she does have incontinence issues so she wears diapers. while she can go to the bathroom on her own she sometimes misses (understandable) but she leaves her dirty diapers on my counter instead of putting them in the trash literally next to the toilet. and leaves feeces and blood on the toilet seat for me to clean. she always makes us buy her things now and horribly unhealthy food all the time and complainss when we sometimes make food for her she doesnt like. (in an attempt to be sure everyone eats what they like we all take executive decisions as a group on what to eat). i feel like were leaving alot of legroom regardless even if we dont like it but its never good enough. this woman refused to eat a pizza because the peperoni was under the cheese..... my husband started getting angry (i always was and i regret this decision)
but i need a more clean home for my baby and i can no longer tend to this woman (aswell as myself and the rest of the familly. my husband has stepped in ALOT and talks to his mom telling her that she needs to for the child but she always gives me these passive aggressive or petty comments. like when i clean she says (my mom used to move furniture around to clean it). or (can you leave the bathroom door open ((so she can breathe but she never had an issue with the window open) i keep it closed to keep the animals out. her cats cant even pee properly so were constantly cleaning the cat litter for this woman. we run errands for her. we setup her appointments for her, we attempt to help her clean her room but she refuses putting everyone else at risk. she gets angry with us for not doing things her way. sometimes me and my husband argue and she says WE bother HER when we argue. to basically stop arguing because it makes HER uncomfortable. after being forgiving for so many years she runs the entire familly bending all of us around her damn fingers for her own convenience. frankly i gave her the benefit of the doubt for a very long time and i just cant take it anymore. even establishing to her that we need her to take care of herself a bit more so we can focus on the end of my pregnancy and when that baby arrives. she still acts like we HAVE to do everything for her. weve asked her to move her own car simple as so that we dont have to pay for tickets... today i just picked a ticket off of her car and she WILL blame my husband for not moving it. we work from home and dont always have the time to do it on time while she has zero responsibilities and NOTHING to do . i was at a point once where i told myself she cant shes sick. but she has no issue going out on her own when she wants to go shopping. she rarely leaves the house but shes perfectly able. i hate to say this but shes flat out LAZY and aa HOARDER simple as and is trying nothing to get better for herself when we directly ask her she gets better for 2 days then she reverts back to slob and (do everything for me go buy me more coke) attitude. i know i shouldnt butt in to the whole therapist thing either but she makes them housecalls instead which means we cant even live in our own house while the therapist is around. and when she sits on the couch.... she then stays there fo DAYS. making my livingroom a mess and TMI but i can SEEEEE her skin sheds ON MY COUCH.
im cleaning 24/7 my husband cares for me and helps me clean and so does his son. and we all contribute. except for her. its a big familly. and when i cant, i ask for help and i get it. BUT i see the stress my husband also undergoes. we have to care for absolutely everyones incompetence with a baby on the way and its extremely stressfull. the LEAST that i want is to keep her own stuff in check but she is completely ignorant.
I need to vent and i frankly want to yell at her and just tell her to wake the fuck up and take care of herself or shes out of my house. but truth is i have still seen my husbands mood improve to some degree knowing his mom is still in a better environment regardless. we cant just kick her out again to be left to her own.
sadly however im starting to think she should just no longer be my business and it should just be me taking care of my house regardless of her being here no matter how anngry or pettty she gets. she completely disagrees with how i handle my house. my relationship. and my familly as a whole. again i dont want to listen in on someones therapy session but the walls are thin. she makes her therapy sessions about how shes uncomfortable and dislikes how I handle MY life decisions and MY kids and MY relationship with my husband.
i love him and she cant even be grateful that we took her in to help. she cant even be grateful that she has a cleaner home to die in. and shes definitely taking advantage of us. when she doesnt need to. Im just TIRED

I've been reading through all the posts in regards to NJ Family Care and I see that it's basically a horror show. With that in mind, I'm trying to make sure I get everything correct as my situation is a little "involved." They are asking for my marital status which is technically "married," but I have not lived with my spouse for almost ten years at this point. Up until recently, he was violently opposed to divorce proceedings and would spew all sorts of threats regarding my wanting to file. We never went to court for anything, I essentially threw whatever belongings I could in bags and fled with our two daughters who were pre-school age at the time (now they are in middle school.) So there was never any court ordered support and over the years he has sent random amounts of "support" via Paypal, had them visit when it fit his schedule and provided medical insurance coverage through a group plan he had through an association he belonged to. I've also never had the money to hire an attorney for the divorce because providing for my two daughters all those years alone never left anything extra for that sort of thing. He lives in NY, I moved back home to NJ in July of 2022 because I was pregnant and moving in with my current partner. I just found out that he stopped paying for my daughters (and my) health insurance so I need to get the three of us covered. I have no income, I stay home with my son who is 20 months old and my partner works ( has his own insurance through his job for him and our son) so I think I should be able to qualify - my one daughter is also autistic (enrolled with an IEP in the special education program through the local district.) The application asks my marital status, I'm wondering what to put down because while I am married, it's not to the person who I share a household with (my partner files taxes as head of household and claims my daughters as dependents because their Father does not and he's the one who actually supports them.) So what would be the proper response? I'm not legally separated but when I put down that I'm "Married" it will not let me advance without inputting spouse information. I put my partner down as a household member but he is "Single" along with all the kids. My technical husband is NOT a household member.
Second question...I assume they will take into account my partner's income which would probably be more than the thresholds for social services. Will this prevent my daughters and I from getting health coverage? I mean, he makes a decent living but we are just making the mortgage and bills with the crazy cost of living here. I also see that they want bank statements from reading some of the other posts. This time of year we have a little extra in our accounts because of his tax refund but in no way are we ever close to being this "stacked" and by stacked I mean I had a couple thousand when any other time of the year i might have a couple hundred bucks lol.
Any insight is appreciated.

16M, I have for the most part decent attendance, the only reason I have absences is either a sick day but my mom forgot to give me a doctors note or I was late because of my bus, My mom is sick of driving me and paying for ubers if I miss the bus so she made an empty threat of saying she will make me walk of I was ever late again, cut to today and I was late, I woke up but had stomach issues. ended up missing my bus and I couldn't contact my mom for 2 reasons. 1, she would kill me and I'm convinced she would make me walk or call me and Uber but ground me when I got back, 2 even if I wanted to contact her I couldn't because I was so panic-stricken I couldn't find her new number in my phone. I hate using the school bathroom because my school has an issue with vape kids, attempted drug use, drugs, fights, etc. The school locked down the bathrooms and now has security watching them and we have a limit. The bathrooms are nasty so I use it at home and hold it for the rest of the day but I took too long thanks to that jelly I ate (freshly picked strawberries, I think something got into one of the jars I ate but my siblings have no issues, only me) I literally had everything planned to be on time but it was messed up because I this
Without thinking I set up my GPS and started walking to school, it was painful because it was hot and my water bottle broke a month ago so I had nothing. After picking the fastest route I started sprinting a little and made it to Wawas (it's close to the school) I turned off my GPS becausei knew the rest of the way, but when I finished I heard hissing, a creaking duck started running at me and I was freaking out because I didn't know ducks could hiss, it had its family around so I just took a photo and continued my sprint, I brought a bottle of water and put the extra in my phone case just in case this happened again without my wallet on me.
I was so scared of what would happen that I just kept going without thinking, while walking I find several dead turtles and I finally make it to school, my legs hurt and I was tired, I check my bag to find I had to deodorant. Security asked me why I was late and I explained the above and the security started laughing and saying I was dedicated, one mentioned I should have just stayed home. I tell my first block teacher what happened and she started laughing and I showed her the photos I took. Our of curiosity she looks how long I would have to walk from my house to the school, 1 hour and 3 minutes. I was dripping with sweat but I was an hour late, I told the story to my other teachers and my second block was concerned and told me not to do it again, my third block teacher was loving it because I tell her stuff like this all the time, and my last block teachers was shocked. My bus driver was even in disbelief as well. For those about to say “OP just buy and Uber” Im broke and I'm trying to save money to get it back up again so I'd rather spend money on something cheap than an Uber which would cripple my account
I ranted to the girl I was talking to and she told me I literally could have just called her or any of my friends but I was so focused on how I was late that I didn't even consider it as an option, I felt like an idiot and one of my classmates said I can tell my future kids that I had to walk a mile to get to school. To make it worse I still have to cut the grass when I get home
I now have to tell my mom that I got another UE Absence without talking about how I had diarrhea, the shame man…
TLDR, miss the bus because I had jelly and walked/sprinted an hour to get to school just to be marked absent and almost attacked by a duck
Edit: Teachers called my mom, and my mom is furious that CPS might get called because I took her empty threat literally and told me that all I had to do was ask my sister or call her, one of my teachers told her. Me trying to not get in trouble got me in more trouble

Two summers ago, I drove 7 hours one way to buy a 2019 Manual Genesis G70. It was used, not certified preowned, with just under 12K miles. The OEM tires were approaching the end of their useful life. It had one scratch on the rear passenger door and an annoying dealership permanent sticker on the trunk. It also only had one key. The head unit infotainment screen also had a small delamination crack - visible if you looked close but not perceptible if you ran your fingers across it. I bought it as is, though Genesis has a stellar warranty that transfers to the second owner so I still had 2 years warranty remaining. It was too far away for me to get it to a trusted mechanic to PPI, so the warranty was a huge factor.
On a long drive to the beach, the screens began to flicker. The car still ran mechanically fine, but it was alarming. I also noticed I couldn't get the Genesis Connected Services to work. A few weeks later, the screens were flickering again in my driveway. I shut the car off thinking if I just shut it off and turned it back on it would fix itself - for about 5 minutes I couldn't restart the car. It was as though it had a completely dead battery. I took it to my local dealer which unfortunately is an hour away but fortunately is reached through a combination of great back roads and highways. They were unable to replicate the issue but decided to attribute it to the head unit and replaced the entire thing on the basis of the delamination crack being covered by warranty. A week after I got the car back, the screens flickered again. I tried doing an over the air software update with Genesis Corporate over the phone and it kept failing, so we went back to the dealership. They manually did the update. After a few more weeks, the screens flickered again. I took it back down and they decided to go nuclear, completely uninstalling all software and updates from the car and then reinstalling the latest software as a clean slate. When I got it back - my genesis connected services were working and the screens never flickered again. BUT. My backup camera would now randomly stop working. I took it back and they tried a patch update to the backup camera software as well as replacing a crush washer that's apparently a known failure point for the backup camera. The problem persisted. They informed me there is a sensor in the transmission that tells the backup camera when the car is in reverse and when to turn on. That sensor apparently failed, and the solution is apparently to replace the entire transmission. I personally found that insane, but a new clutch and transmission covered fully under warranty? Sure, I'll enjoy your courtesy car a little longer. Yeah, on that note. Having the car in and out of the shop so often was annoying, but it was all covered under Genesis phenomenal warranty, the dealership was surprisingly patient, understanding and communicative, and since they're an hour away I had an opportunity to enjoy some courtesy cars on a good mix of backroads and highways. The courtesy cars I had in no particular order...

• 2023 Genesis G70, 2.0 Turbo AWD. Felt heavy and the automatic transmission seems to take up more space in the center console than the manual. Definitely quicker than my car, but I don't enjoy the weightyness to it. I think it might have something to do with how the power is being put down? Like it IS faster than my car and it DOES have better traction in corners but it FEELS much heavier.
  
• 2023 Sonata N-Line. Feels fast and light but not for me. The interior after getting out of a G70 is a let down and the front wheel drive and extra power don't do enough to make up for it. To clarify - I think this is a fun car if you want a quick, front wheel drive sedan - but it's not my cup of tea.
  
• 2022 Genesis G80. Cannot say enough good things about this car. Feels like a true luxobarge. Gorgeous, comfortable, quiet interior, everything feels heavy and expensive but it also has the power to get out of its own way. This was by far, hands down, no comparison, the best courtesy car I've ever been given. I'd go as far as to say it's one of the best cars I've ever driven in my life. That's relative of course, but it really was just such an impressive vehicle. It was hard to find anything not to like about it.
  
• 2023 Genesis G70, 3.3 twin turbo AWD. Holy hell this thing moves. So, this car has the sunroof - which I hate. In G70s with the sunroof, I have to put the seat all the way on the floor to have headroom. I'm 5'11" with a 32 inch inseam if that gives you an idea of my torso/leg ratio. It also had the same heavyness I felt in the 2.0 AWD courtesy car - it's something to do with the AWD but I don't know if it's how the system moves power around or if it's literally just the added weight of the system. It doesn't feel flickable the way my RWD car feels. And before you call me an idiot for describing my G70 as flickable, understand it's all relative and I haven't owned or driven that many performance cars in my life. I know my car isn't a miata. That all being said. So. Freaking. Fast. The V6 has a really unique sound to it unlike any other V6 I've experienced, I can't decide if I like it or not but it's definitely unique. The speed is really incredible and the AWD makes it so usable. You can floor it turning right or left off the line at a stoplight and it will hold the road and put the power down. If I weren't so sure this car would get me arrested, I'd want one.
  

I got my car back and I haven't had any issues with screens or backup cameras or anything else since the transmission replacement. So what's to love? Small, sporty, rear wheel drive car that has the power to break traction but isn't so powerful that you can't use all your gears. To me this car is straddling the line of slow car fast. It's incredibly comfortable, has a great stereo, looks cool, and it's got enough room for me, my spouse, my dog and a child seat. Also so glad I got the manual when I did - manual G70s are not easy to find. This was one of four for sale within 500 miles of my zip when I bought it. The rear seat is actually usable, but the foot room is tight. I'm 5'11 with a 32 inch inseam. If I take my shoes off, I can sit behind my driving position. I have the knee and hip room - but the foot room is very tight for an adult male. Decent gas mileage if you're not driving it like a hooligan. Feels light and eager to turn, even at speed.
What's not so good? The trunk has a high load floor so even though you have a good opening and footprint, it's shallow. It's not unusable, it's just not as deep as you'd expect it to be. I was still able to fit everything my spouse, my dog and I needed for a week at the beach. Speaking of long trips - no spare tire. That pissed me off. Not even a space saver? Come on. I think it should be a legal requirement that all cars have at least a space saver. In any case, this car can accept the same space saver spare kit the 3.3 model comes with or the Kia Stinger comes with. I ordered the parts online and installed a space saver spare myself. The backup camera shuts off as soon as you're out of reverse, even if you're rolling backwards in neutral. This is a nitpick, but I do wish the backup camera would stay on until I was rolling forward. Speaking of reverse, the pedal box is tight and I usually wear an 11 or 12 shoe depending on the brand. With certain shoes, I have to modify my left foot motion because my toe will catch the arm of the clutch pedal. Not impossible, but it can be annoying in certain pairs of shoes or if you have big feet.
Clutch and Transmission :: I'm gonna give this it's own section because I feel like this is a very case sensitive matter. Manuals I drove before this - a 2011 Subaru Outback. First manual car I bought and I drove it for 120K miles before an old dude in a Yukon totaled it. Some people have said they don't enjoy the feeling of this transmission, I don't have much to compare it to. I think the stick feel is fine. The actual clutch is a toss up for me. It's hydraulic, so on one hand it's buttery smooth and easy and very forgiving if you're doing a drive through or in stop and go traffic - things I took pains to avoid in my outback. The flip side is, the pedal gives you very little feedback. The bite point is harder to feel and it definitely numbs the experience a bit. If you're looking for a very raw, analog feeling transmission this is not it. This feels much more like an entry level luxury sport sedan that was given a manual just because it would be cool to have a manual, but also trying to do one in such a way that it wouldn't alienate luxury car buyers who generally find manuals to be a nuisance.
Would I go through it all again? Absolutely. The dealer trips were annoying but it let me test drive some cool stuff and I never paid a dime. The only thing I paid for was an oil change, a new set of tires (not from the dealer) and a new key cause I wanted to have two. The key was $700 which is offensive but unfortunately not unheard of with modern cars. The car is a blast. If you want a smallish, luxuryish, sportscarish vehicle that gives you a lot of nice stuff without being too expensive or too harsh, check out a G70. If you're a manual purist, you may love it or hate it - the clutch is definitely a sticking point for many people. Genesis Dealer? Mine is great, thank god. But I have heard plenty of horror stories from other owners who went to more Hyundai focused dealers. Maintenance? No mechanical issues at all, just weird software related glitches that were all covered under warranty. Mods? Not really planning anything big. I added a sun strip to the windshield, a dash cam and wiring for my radar detector. Also the spare tire. And I put PS4s on it. I plan to keep it stock - at least until it's paid off and the warranty is out.
Questions for reddit :: Catch cans! Should I have one on this car? Is there a recommended brand? Do your mechanics charge you more to empty them or do you empty them yourselves? What does a catch can do that the OEM air oil separator doesnt?
TL;DR :: I like my manual G70. It isn't very fast, but I like it.

3 days ago @kraandopOW posted this clip of him finally winning a game after nearly a 14 game loss-streak, where he wins the game, and still goes -3 SR.
Bogur replied to the tweet Saying "i dropped from gm2 to masters 1. i swear everybody is deranking & idk what is going on anymore"
And the replies in his thread are uncanny. There are dozens of people saying that since S10 dropped, they are one-to-two entire ranks lower than they have been since launch. Some post their win percent being barely in the 40's when they were 55%+ last season with 200 games played. Diamonds are now in gold, Golds now in bronze, and Several Masters players are now well into platinum. This has infact happened to me as well. Just for personal context, here's my past 4 seasons: Season 6 Dia 2, Season 7 Dia 1, Season 8 M4, Season 9 reset and climb back to D1, Season 10 Plat 3(????). Each of those seasons I have hundreds of games played. There should be no question on my MMR. In 7 years of Overwatch, I have never been platinum on my main role. I have hovered between D2 and M3 (3300-3700 SR) my entire ow career and now I and many others have fallen to career-lows since Season 10 dropped.
And it's not just "oh well the MMR is still Masters". The quality of the games is atrocious, there is always someone on a team, and sometimes it's even myself, that is just completely lost or out of their league. This I'm almost certain is due to the midseason patch that tried to remove losers queue with this entry "When a player is currently on a loss streak, the matchmaker will try to avoid putting the player on a team that is statistically calculated to have a lower chance of winning."
first off, your algo knows which team has a lower chance of winning? That's a whole other post...
So you get a team of 5 people who have a decent chance of winning the game, vs a team of 4 players who have a slightly-better shot off winning and a 5th dude who's tilt queuing. All just to make his odds better. But this has backfired terribly and it's nearly every single game.
Additionally I wanted to blame the rank reset in S9 since M2 is T500 at this point, but even after the rank reset I had no issues climbing back to pretty close to my original SR. Now? I'm fucking drowning in platinum as if I haven't solo queued 4 accounts to masters before in every role.
This has been directly attributed to S10. My hypothesis the wide-queue thing has fucked the algo, and the mid-season "losers queue" hotfix added salt to the wound.
How has your guys S10 been? Some say they've been climbing and that's great, but my anecdotal experience has been extremely negative.

At a career crossroads.
I've been an SDR at Company A for a year and 3 months. They were small when I joined, (I even had equity) but they got acquired by a larger firm about 8 months ago. Due to regulatory stuff the acquisition fully went through 2 months ago, and we've been getting integrated to all the systems this month. I was supposed to be beginning the transition to AE by now, but because of the acquisition and structure changes, I'm now not sure when that will happen. Closest to a guarantee I have is getting some small accounts to manage in July/August, and see how that goes. Best case I'm an AE by Q1 2025, and with a sales cycle of 6 months to a year, it'd be a while before I see any commission checks. My boss would have to really fight for me to get promoted, since they want all AEs to have 3-5 years of experience. A new AE also started this week.
I was getting frustrated over the last few weeks/months with how things were going, so I started putting feelers out. I'm in talks with these guys, call them Company B, I used to work with at my last job. It'd be a title promotion, more pay, fully remote, and I'd be closing deals, with virtually no cold calling. They're much smaller than Company A, though, about a 1/3 of the revenue that A was pre acquisition. Both are SaaS, but vastly different products for different needs.
Do I stay with the larger, global Company A for the experience and the chance of closing 6 and 7 figure deals in the next 18 months to 2 years, or leave for Company B to get that promotion and more pay, but with a possibly lower ceiling?
How valuable is pure experience versus who you work for, what company trained you, and who you know? I so badly want to be done with cold calling that I'm worried I might be falling into a grass is greener fallacy.

My wife, Mia, and I were driving cross-country. It was our first attempt at the “Great American Roadtrip.”
Mia and I rented a small RV; more of a camper than a full blown RV. We packed up a couple suitcases with plenty of room for any souvenirs and we hit the dusty trail.
We started our journey on the “Mother Road”-- Route 66-- driving south from Chicago until we connected to i-70 and shot straight west through Missouri.
The goal was to see those parts of the country we had never seen before, stopping anywhere that seemed interesting. From the plains of Kansas up through the badlands of Wyoming and South Dakota.
In Missouri we saw the world’s largest cap gun. In Kansas we visited the Evel Knievel Museum and the World’s Largest Belt Buckle.
We love all those kitschy, tourist trap places.
Eventually, we made it to Colorado and after a few hours more of driving through amber waves of grain, we saw them... the Rocky Mountains.
We made an exit and headed north through the winding mountain highways.
The Rockies were gorgeous. Snow capped in the middle of summer, some of the peaks pierced through the white fluffy clouds.
We saw a sign that read “Traffic Tunnel - 3 Miles.”
A little further and sure enough, there it was, a large tunnel bored directly through the mountain in front of us.
A large sign read, “Pike Tunnel - Longest Traffic Tunnel in the Nation! - Please turn your headlights on now.”
“How long is it?” asked Mia.
“That’s what she said,” I quipped.
But she was right, there was no information beyond the detail that this was the longest tunnel in the nation.
“Can’t be more than a mile or two,” I said as I watched the little white car ahead of us slip into the darkness. A moment later we joined it.
The tunnel was lit by fluorescents that gave everything a greenish yellow tinge. On the left hand side was a raised walkway behind a railing for maintenance access.
Initially I was struck by the incredible amount of work that went into the construction of this man- made marvel.
“We’re under a million tons of rocky mountain right now,” I said.
“How many years before this caves in?” Mia responded.
I shot her a look--
“Let’s save the cave-in talk until we’re out on the other side.”
“I’m just saying, nature will take this back eventually,” she continued.
I scanned the empty road ahead of us.
“Where did the other car go?” I asked.
We were now alone in the tunnel, no cars ahead of us nor behind us.
“Huh... they must have sped off ahead. Maybe they’re scared of a cave-in?”
My Spotify playlist had stopped playing. Mia looked at the phone.
“No cell service.”
She turned on the radio and spun the dial only to find static.
“You’re not going to be able to pick up a station in here,” I said.
She turned the volume down.
“Just wanted to check... If only we had some CDs. This tunnel really keeps going.”
“I would have thought we’d be through it by now,” I replied.
I looked at the RV’s odometer, 45,600 miles. I picked up speed. I wanted to try and catch up to the little white car.
Up until this point, the tunnel was a straight shot, but now the tunnel started to curve to the right. It may have been my imagination but it also felt as though we were descending…
Mia felt it too and she started to get antsy.
“Where did that other car go? How long is this tunnel?”
There was an urgency in her voice.
I was getting nervous, claustrophobia was not usually a problem for me but when I looked down at the odometer and I saw that it had gone up by 3 miles, my mind began to wander to unsettling places.
We were descending in altitude. I could feel it. I could see a slope in the lights on the ceiling and the railing of the maintenance walkway. I could feel a pressure in my head, and I was getting cold.
“Could you grab me a coke from the back, Mia?”
I couldn’t have Mia getting anxious, that would only start a chain reaction and make me freak out which would then make her freak out.
She unbuckled and ducked into the back of the RV to where we had a cooler stocked with drinks and food.
Just as she stepped into the back, I saw something.
There standing on the side of the road was a MAN wearing a reflective safety vest and a hard hat. He was WAVING to me as I passed him by.
Something about him looked... strange…
I watched him in the side-view mirror as we passed and he was still watching the RV, still waving at the back of our vehicle as he faded into the distance.
Mia reappeared from the back of the RV, Coke in hand. She popped it and handed it to me.
“You look worried.”
“I’m fine,” I smiled and took a sip of the Coke.
“Eric, slow down!”
I slammed on the breaks as I saw what made Mia scream. In the road in front of us was a roadblock.
Two reflective traffic sawhorses blocked both lanes of the tunnel. Beyond the roadblock, the lights of the tunnel were dark. There was nothing but a void of blackness.
Standing in front of the roadblock was another man wearing a reflective vest and a hard hat, only this time his hard hat had a light on top which obscured his face.
We came to a jolting stop.
I turned to Mia
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I’m fine,” she replied. “It’s a cave-in isn’t it?”
“God, I hope not.”
I rolled down the window, leaned out and yelled to the man in the hard hat.
“Hey! What’s going on?!”
The man was about 5 yards away. He took two steps towards us and then raised a hand to his mouth and yelled.
“Just doing some maintenance!”
“How long is it going to take?!” I yelled back.
The man made a hand gesture as if he didn’t hear me.
“How long is it going to take?!” I called again.
He made the same gesture. I unbuckled my seat belt and grabbed the door release.
“What are you doing?” Mia asked.
“I gotta know what’s going on.”
“Eric, just stay here, it might not be safe.”
“I’ll be just a second,” I said.
I pushed the door open and stepped down from the RV.
“Stay in your vehicle!” the man yelled.
He took a couple steps towards me with his hand out telling me to stop.
“What’s the hold up?!” I shouted.
The man was a bit closer now but I still couldn’t see his face through the shining light on his helmet.
“Please stay in your vehicle!” he shouted.
There was something off about him.
Then I heard it–
“EEEAAAUUUUUUGHHHHHHHH!!!”
A scream, or something, rolled from deep in the tunnel. The worker turned and looked into the darkness. Then he ran past the barricades and soon all we could see of him was the light on his helmet.
The light disappeared a moment later.
“What the hell was that?! Is someone hurt?” Mia asked.
“I have no idea,” I said.
“Should we do something?” Mia asked.
I just sat there and watched the pitch black tunnel in front of me. I had no idea what to tell her. I checked the sideview mirrors. There was still nobody behind us.
“Where are the other cars?” I asked.
“They must have gotten through before the roadblock... Or maybe they caused the roadblock?” Mia replied.
“I saw another worker a little ways back. We could try to go back and talk to him.”
“We’d be going straight into any oncoming cars.”
“There’s a maintenance walkway. We didn’t pass him that long ago. We can probably catch him on foot.”
“Maybe we should just wait for the guy to come back.”
She reached over and grabbed my arm. I squeezed her hand.
She was right.
I looked out at the tunnel ahead of us. I turned on the RV’s high beams but all I could see beyond the roadblock was more tunnel and more road.
I checked my phone. Unsurprisingly, there was no service still.
We waited, but the man never came back.
“It’s been twenty minutes,” Mia said, “How come there hasn’t been another car behind us?
I was having the same thought. I rolled down my window and stuck my head out. I looked back at the road behind us. It went back about 200 yards before curving out of sight.
There was no sign of that first worker I saw on the maintenance walk way. I looked at the roadblock ahead of us and clicked on the RV’s high beams. There was nothing beyond the roadblock but more tunnel. It didn’t look like it was under construction, just very dark.
“I think we should keep going,” I said.
“What about the roadblock?”
“We’ll move those sawhorses out of the way and just drive past,” I said as I opened my door.
Mia looked at me, then she cast her eyes to the dark tunnel ahead of us. I knew she was processing the same limited options that I was.
Driving backwards would be a huge risk in the instance of another car finally coming along.
Getting out and walking would take God knows how long, we could have driven 10 miles at this point.
Forward was our best option.
“Let’s do it,” Mia said.
We jumped out and quickly pulled the two sawhorses out of the right lane. I pulled the RV up past the barriers, then we jumped out again and put the sawhorses back where they were. We didn't need another car to come barreling through.
We were finally moving again, slowly. It was pitch black save for the high beams of the RV.
We crept forward at around 15 miles per hour. As the tunnel turned and twisted, my eyes started to play tricks on me. I kept seeing shapes at the furthest point of the tunnel.
I kept seeing something standing just at the end of the next bend but as we roll forward, there was nothing there.
“Where are the workers?” Mia asked.
“I don’t know.”
I was done rationalizing. This was all wrong. Traffic tunnels are never this long.
My mind started to wander to all the road trip urban legends I’d read about; The Killer in the Backseat, The Disappearing Gas Station, The Pale Man In The Corn Field.
Did we stumble into some strange outlier location? An in-between point on the endless roads that cross this country?
Then I saw it–
“Look! A person! Thank god!” Mia shouted.
As we rounded a curve in the tunnel, a group of maintenance workers entered our view.
The three of them stood on the left side of the road behind two more sawhorses topped with flashing lights.
Two of them faced towards us, the third was facing the other two.
The one with his back to us wore a light on his hard hat. Was this the same guy we saw earlier? How did he get this far away?
I approached slowly and rolled down the window.
“Hey! You left us waiting back there!” I yelled.
There was no response.
In fact, all three men were completely silent, and it was hard to tell in the flashing light of the sawhorses, but they looked to be standing COMPLETELY STILL.
“Hello?!” I yelled again.
I pushed open my door and stepped out onto the pavement.
“Eric wait--”
I held up a finger to Mia.
“Just a second.”
I slowly stepped towards the 3 men.
“Hello?”
No response… What the fuck?
The bright lights of the sawhorses obscured their faces.
I kept moving closer.
“Hey, what’s going on--”
Then I saw it.
Their faces... They were plastic.
In front of me stood three mannequins.
I backed away toward the RV, then I turned and walked hurriedly to the vehicle.
I was seriously freaked out but I didn’t want to alarm Mia. I climbed into the driver’s seat and slammed the door shut.
“They’re mannequins.” I said.
“What?”
“They’re mannequins.”
”Why?... What?...”
“I don’t know…”
I looked back over at the three figures and my blood ran cold…
The Hard Hat Mannequin had somehow TURNED AROUND to face us. All three figures appeared to be watching us now.
Then we heard it--
A loud resonant banging on the side, and then the roof of the RV.
“What the hell was that?” Mia whispered.
We listened, holding our breath. Then--
A shuffling sound--
Something was moving ON or IN the RV.
“Stay here.” I said.
I got up.
“Eric, wait!”
I moved to the back of the RV.
It was dark. I went for a drawer in the kitchenette space and pulled out a flashlight.
I moved to the rear of the RV, the bedroom. My flashlight illuminated an empty room.
“Whoever is back here, I have a gun…”
A shitty bluff. But I didn’t see anything.
I shone the light out of the windows of each side of the RV. Nothing.
Then I heard it–
A shuffling sound, from right above me.
I looked up and screamed–
“Fuck!”
On the roof of the RV, staring through the skylight was a woman with vacuous black eyes and a dead smile.
Her stringy black hair dangled down towards me casting thing black shadows across her horrible pale face.
“Mia, drive! Fast!” I screamed.
Mia JUMPED over to the driver’s seat, shifted into gear and STOMPED on the gas. The RV was clunky but it could move when it needed to.
We lurched forward and I fell back.
I trained my flashlight up onto the skylight again and the woman was gone.
I scrambled to my feet and looked out of the side windows.
Did Mia shake her off? There was no sign of the woman. I moved to the passenger seat, breathing heavily and sweating.
“What happened?” She asked, keeping the RV at a steady 50 mph.
“There was a woman on the roof,” I said flatly.
I realize now that I was in a kind of shock.
“A woman?”
“Her eyes were black.”
Mia just looked at me, then back at the tunnel ahead of us.
“There’s something wrong with this tunnel.” I whispered.
Mia pointed at the road ahead, “Look.”
I looked out at the tunnel. There were more mannequins. A LOT more mannequins. They were positioned on both sides of the road.
They were all facing us and even though I never saw them move, when I looked in the side-view mirror, they were somehow STILL facing us, turning to watch us as we drove past. Watching without eyes.
“Just keep driving.” I said.
As we drove on, the mannequins crowded the sides of the road more and more. There were thousands of them. Eventually they were so close that some of their outstretched arms hit the side of the RV.
They were closing in on us. Squeezing our path forward. One stood in the middle of the road.
“I don’t think i can get around it.”
“Run it over. Don’t stop.”
The RV smashed into the mannequin. Its head shot forward and bounced against the windshield and the vehicle shuddered as it rolled over the body.
Soon there were two in the road. Then three.
I could see where this was going. Pretty soon there would be too many for the RV to ram through, but goddammit we were going to get through as many as we could.
“Speed up, Mia.”
CRASH!
The sound was surreal, smashing into mannequin after mannequin at nearly 60 miles per hour.
Hands, legs, heads and torsos flew.
The windshield cracked, the RV shuddered and screamed and eventually slowed down, despite the screaming engine.
I’m certain the axle was jammed up with lifeless, plastic body parts. Eventually we came to a stop.
“She won’t move,” Mia said.
She pressed on the gas but it was no use, the RV just rocked a little bit.
“Try reverse.”
She shifted and pressed on the gas, we got some decent movement before running into another jam.
“Fuck.”
“Should we get out and look?” Mia asked.
“I’ll go,” I said as I grabbed the flashlight and popped the passenger door. Mia unbuckled her seatbelt.
“We’ll go together.”
We stumbled out of the RV on the passenger side. It was like stepping into Hell.
Countless, lifeless faces stared out at us from the darkness. The only light came from the headlights of the RV and my flashlight.
We clumsily made our way along the side of the RV. The ground was littered with mannequin pieces.
I thought to myself, if we could get a couple yards cleared out behind the rear tires, we might be able to back out and get enough momentum to reverse all the way back out of here.
Instead, when we got to the back of the RV, my stomach flipped and my heart sank.
I was expecting to see a trail of flattened mannequins, instead the RV was now surrounded by thousands of perfectly intact mannequins standing at attention. As if their ranks had some how been replenished after our vehicular assault.
“This is impossible.”
She started to cry. I held her close.
“We’ll keep moving.” I said.
“It will never end. The tunnel makes no sense. It only curves one direction.”
I looked at her.
“What do you mean?”
“This whole time the tunnel has only been curving to the right. it would sometimes straighten out or go left for a few yards but before too long we were curving to the right again. We’ve either been driving in circles or spiraling downwards.”
“So we’ll go back the way we came and hope we’re not going in circles.” I said.
We had been driving for hours at this point. Walking back out the way we came would take days. But now that I thought about it, Mia was right, we’d only been curving to the right.
This tunnel seemed to be very gradually taking us downwards into the earth.
Going forward would not get us any closer to escape.
“We’ll need food from the RV,” Mia said.
I nodded and we stumbled our way back to the front of the RV, the mannequins’ lifeless faces watching us the whole time.
I stepped up to the passenger door and nearly fell back when I looked through the window.
“What the fuck?” I breathed.
What I saw were two mannequins sitting in the driver’s and passenger’s seat.
How they got in there? I have no idea, but what really made my blood run cold was that they were dressed EXACTLY like MIA and I.
They wore identical sets of clothes. The one in the passenger seat had my same New Order T-shirt and black jeans. The one in the driver’s seat had Mia’s green striped sweater and denim shorts.
Their plastic faces stared out through the shattered windshield at the endless crowd of mannequins staring back at them.
Mia stepped up and saw the uncanny display.
“What the fuck?” Mia echoed.
I pulled myself up into the RV and slowly stepped around my mannequin doppelgänger. I avoided looking into its face but I swear i could feel it watching me as I stumbled around it.
Mia followed and we made our way into the back of our dark RV. Luckily we had just stocked our cooler full of deli meat and water not long after crossing the Colorado state line.
I handed Mia the flashlight and pulled open the cooler. I filled a backpack full of food and water.
I turned and saw them–
My mannequin double had somehow moved. It was standing in the aisle watching us.
Mia’s doppelgänger was still seated in the driver’s seat but had turned to peer back at us with its eyeless gaze.
Mia saw the look in my eyes and turned. She screamed when she saw them and backed into me. I put my arm around her and we stood there a moment, letting our skyrocketing heart rates return to Earth.
“Let’s get out of here,” I said.
I slid the backpack onto my shoulders.
Mia joined me at the door. I looked into her eyes. “Are you ready?” She nodded. I kissed her.
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you,” she said.
The look on her face killed me. She was terrified. I’m sure the look on my face was similar.
I opened the door and we stepped out…
We again stumbled to the back of the RV. Once we were clear of the RV and all the crushed mannequin body parts, it became easier to find footing, though weaving through an endless crowd of lifeless people was a slow process.
It was pitch black. Without the flashlight we wouldn’t be able to see a foot in front of us.
As I walked, the beam of light created the illusion of movement in the crowd. At least I hoped it was an illusion.
The limbs of the mannequins seemed to stretch and turn, but the only sound was that of Mia and I shuffling our way through the crowded tunnel.
Things went on like this for what felt like hours. Mia and I were sweating and aching. I was about to suggest we stop and rest, but then I saw it and I froze…
Out in the crowd, beyond rows of blank faces I saw a pale face, black hair and a dead smile.
I saw two vacuous eyes staring right at me.
“Mia, do you see her?” I whispered.
“See who?”
I slowly raised my arm and pointed.
It was the woman, or whatever it was, that stared back at me through the skylight on the roof of the RV.
“Oh my god!” Mia squeaked.
I could see now that the Pale Faced Woman was tall. A few inches taller than the mannequins.
As I pointed, she stared back at me with that terrible grin.
“What do we do?” Mia whispered.
I raised the flashlight and pointed it right at the Pale Faced Woman. I thought maybe this would scare her off.
I was wrong.
The light only made her appear more unsettling as she stared back, unflinchingly.
“What do you want?!” I yelled.
She only stared back at me. She was as still as the mannequins.
“We have to keep going.” I whispered.
Mia didn’t respond. Her body was tense as she held onto me.
“We’ve come this far, we can’t turn back again,” I continued.
I pulled Mia’s hand and we continued on our way through the mannequins, keeping the distance between us and her as wide as possible.
As we moved past, she kept watching us. Though her movements were imperceptible to us, her eyes never left us. Like one of those portraits whose eyes appear to watch you no matter where you stand.
Finally, we got far enough that she was out of sight. But the thought of her being somewhere behind us only unsettled me further and I quickened our pace.
As the hours wore on, there was no sign of the Pale Faced Woman and the crowd of mannequins began to thin out. They still populated the tunnel from one end to the other, but there was more space between them, allowing Mia and I to walk more freely.
The mannequins on the maintenance walkway on the side of the tunnel seemed to thin out as well and I decided it would give us a better vantage if we were walking up there.
I helped Mia climb up the railing that bordered the walkway, then I climbed up behind her. The walkway was elevated 3 or 4 feet above the roadway. We could easily see over the heads of the mannequins in both directions.
There was, of course, no end to the tunnel in sight.
We kept walking.
The mannequins continued to thin out, but they were different now.
There were mannequins dressed as maintenance workers again, but also mannequins dressed as families and businessmen. There was even a group of mannequin nuns standing in a single file line, heads bowed in prayer.
Needless to say, we passed none of this on the way in to the tunnel. I was feeling very hopeless that we were going to be able to find our way out.
I was far beyond speculating how this was at all possible. It’s NOT possible. And even if it were, there is no good reason for someone to do this to us.
The only explanation was the supernatural. Then I saw Her. Rather, I saw THEM.
Arranged in the middle of the tunnel was a circle of mannequins with long black hair and tattered cloth.
They looked exactly like the Pale Faced Woman, minus any facial features. I kept a close watch on them as we passed to make sure they didn’t start following us.
“A door!” Mia shouted.
Mia pointed a few paces ahead of her. There was a door leading into the wall of the tunnel.
We ran towards it. Mia grabbed the handle, turned it and pulled. It was heavy and Mia had to brace her foot on the wall to get it moving.
The metal door groaned as if it hadn’t been opened in years.
Finally, it was open enough to see past.
It was a hallway. It went out about 5 yards then turned right at a 90 degree angle.
The strangest part was the design of the hallway.
It wasn’t cement or pavement like the tunnel.
The walls were wood paneled and the floor was covered in a thick carpet, like a house from the 1970s.
“I say we see where this takes us.” Mia said.
There was no reason to disagree, but I wasn’t going to get us trapped in there.
I opened up my backpack and took out a water bottle. I opened it and handed it to Mia. She drank half, then I drank the other half.
I slowly closed the door, shoving the empty water bottle in the crack to keep it from closing all the way.
I turned to Mia-- “Okay, let’s go.”
We slowly made our way down the quiet hallway. We got down to where the hallway cornered to the right and that’s when we heard it–
KA-CHUNK!!!--
I whipped around. The door had closed behind us. I ran back to it and tried to push it open, but it was no use. There was no way it closed on its own.
Someone had to have removed the water bottle. Our path had been chosen for us.
There was no turning back.
We continued down the hallway. We turned right. The hallway continued, then turned right again. That should have led us right back to the tunnel. But it didn’t. This part of the hallway went on far longer than was possible without running into the tunnel. Then it turned right again.
It went on like this. Sometimes a section of the hallway was 20 feet long, sometimes it was 20 yards long, sometimes it was 3 feet long. But it always turned to the right.
At first it was a relief to be somewhere other than the cold, dark tunnel. But the hallway very quickly became claustrophobic and before too long, I heard someone walking behind us.
We had stopped to take a break and I heard a third pair of footsteps on the carpet coming from behind us. I backtracked to the last corner.
I was terrified as I slowly peeked around the corner, tense and waiting to see the vacuous eyes and inky black hair of the Pale Faced Woman... but there was nothing there. I wasn’t about to backtrack any further.
“There was no one there.” I whispered.
Mia slumped against the wall and slid down to the carpet.
“I think I need to rest.” She said.
I put my backpack down on the ground for Mia to use as a pillow. She laid her head down and was passed out in seconds.
I had no idea how long we had been walking at this point. I stood leaning against the wall. My body was telling me to rest but I couldn’t risk falling asleep. I had to keep watch. I knew SHE was following us.
I took in the details of the hallway for the first time. The carpet was a dull brown and the walls a cheap wood paneling. The hanging lighting fixtures were shaded by stained glass, something you might see in an old diner.
Who built this place? Did someone pick out the carpet and the lighting fixtures? Did a team of workers blast these tunnels into the Earth? Or has this place always existed? Was this Purgatory?
I began to feel dizzy. I was panicking. My heart felt like it was trying to escape my chest. I slumped to the floor and tried to slow my breathing.
I closed my eyes... –
I SHOT up in a panic. I had fallen asleep while I was meant to be keeping watch.
I snapped to my feet and looked around.
Mia was still asleep on my backpack.
Then I noticed that the hallway had changed. A few paces away there was now a plain wooden door in the wall.
I slowly approached it. I put my ear to the door and I could hear what sounded like TV static and the low murmur of voices.
I discreetly grabbed the door handle and turned it slowly. I felt the latch bolt clear and I carefully cracked the door just enough to peek inside.
It was dark, so it took a second for me to register what I was seeing. I saw a small board room. A long table in the center was surrounded by seated men in suits.
At the end of the table stood another man next to an old CRT TV that was playing static. This was the only source of light in the room and all the men around the table were turned towards the tv.
Suddenly the screen flickered from static to a solid dark background. And some warped new age style muzak began playing.
Then the words appeared on the screen that terrified me like nothing else before. In plain text the words read–
“YOU WILL LOSE HER.”
I froze as I knew these words were meant for me I watched with terror as the men seated around the table slowly turned toward me in unison.
They were mannequins.
The TV screen then clicked off and they continued staring at me as I could barely make out their forms through the near pitch darkness.
I quickly pulled the door shut. And whipped around to look at Mia, I had a horrible feeling of dread that when I turned around she would be gone, like the message on the TV promised–
“Eric? What are you doing?” Mia was leaning up and staring at me.
Thank God. There was Mia, right where I left her.
I pointed at the door and said, “This door appeared and I--”
“What door?” she interrupted.
I turned and sure enough, the door was now gone.
I explained what happened to her, but I left out the message that appeared on the screen.
-- YOU WILL LOSE HER –
Those words still burned in my brain. I tried to force them out.
We drank water, ate granola and then got moving again.
Hallways. Endless hallways.
After a couple hours of walking we started to hear music. There were small speakers in the corners of the ceiling.
I recognized it as the same new-age muzak that played on the TV in the board room. The melody drilled into our minds. Combined with the dull aesthetics of the quiet hallways and the endless right turns, the music had a hypnotizing effect.
The lengths of the halls became more uniform. That is to say, the straight section of hallway was about 7 paces, then a right turn, then 7 paces and a right turn.
“I think we’re walking in circles... or a square,” Mia said.
I looked at her and took out a bottle of water. I peeled off the plastic label and dropped it on the floor.
Then we kept walking.
7 paces, right turn. 7 paces, right turn. 7 paces, right turn. And there it was... Mia was right.
The label from my water bottle lay in the middle of the hallway. Somehow we had been led into a loop. I lost it.
“FUUUCK!”
I kicked the wall repeatedly and screamed. Mia just leaned her back against the wall.
This was our dynamic. If one of us lost it, the other became zen and thought of a solution. More often than not, I was the one to lose it.
I finally stopped freaking out
“There has to be a way out. A door,” Mia said.
“We would have seen it,” I replied.
“A hidden door,” she said.
She turned around and ran her hands along the cracks of the wood paneling.
“Most likely on the outer wall,” she said.
She beat her fist on the wall, listening for a change in the sound. I exhaled heavily, sweating and tired, and I started searching the wall as well.
We checked the whole first wall, nothing. We checked the second wall, nothing. The third, nothing.
The final wall... Nothing. I gave up and slumped on the floor. Mia immediately went over to the other side of the hall and started checking the inner wall.
“What are you doing? I thought you said it would be on the outer wall?” I asked.
Then we heard it.
Mia beat the wall and instead of the dead thud, we heard a resonate BOOM –
A door…
I shot up and started tapping the wall with Mia until we found where the door ended. It was the width of about 4 wooden panels. I lined myself up in the center, lowered my shoulder and pushed–
IT MOVED! It barely moved but it was enough to confirm this actually was a door! I re-centered and tried again, lowering my center of gravity, I pushed as hard as I could. The door pushed inward about 3 inches, then Mia joined in. We slowly moved the door, 5 inches, then 10, then 15, then 20.
Then Mia slipped inside.
I had a moment of panic as she disappeared into the darkness and those haunting words came back into my mind, “YOU WILL LOSE HER.”
I darted past the doorway, falling through the threshold and hitting the concrete floor.
I looked up and there was Mia, thank God. I promised myself I’d never let her out of my sight again.
“The exit...” Mia said.
She looked and sounded as if she were a thousand miles away. I got to my feet and followed her gaze. What I saw nearly brought me to tears.
We were back in the tunnel, but there was light. About a mile down was the mouth of the tunnel, and daylight pouring in. Beautiful daylight. I grabbed Mia tight and kissed her.
“Thank God...” she cried.
We started moving. Nothing was going to slow us down this time. We sped up into a RUN down the maintenance walkway towards that beautiful sunlight.
As we approached, something else came into view. Parked in the middle of the roadway was a large vehicle…
It couldn’t be…
It was!
Our RV sat in the road waiting for us. We ran all the way to it, pulled open the passenger side door and climbed in. There were no mannequins to be seen.
I fell into the driver’s seat and Mia handed me the keys. I turned over the engine, the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. I shifted into gear and floored it towards the sunlight.
As we got closer, I could see the green of trees and the blue of the sky. We were maybe one hundred yards away.
I turned to Mia, tears in my eyes…
And what I saw turned my blood to ice.
Just beyond Mia’s window, that horrifying pale face grinned at me.
The Pale Faced Woman was somehow floating outside of the RV.
Before I could say anything, her hand smashed through the window and gripped Mia by the throat, then in one horrible motion the thing PULLED MIA SCREAMING THROUGH THE WINDOW AND…
Disappeared…
I SLAMMED on the breaks just as the RV passed through the exit of the tunnel and sunlight flooded the cab of the RV. I threw it in park and shot out of the door screaming.
“Mia!? Mia??!!”
I screamed over and over. I rounded the front of the RV and looked back at the tunnel –
-- and what I saw shattered my mind…
The tunnel was gone.
There was only open road.
I had lost her.

Hi all! First off, so glad this sub reddit exists because it was a life saver when I was making decisions on my own ACLr and knowing what to expect from surgery. I'm a 2x cancer surviver, Paramedic, Rugby player, and now have been a caregiver to my partner who just celebrated 3 months from her own ACLr. I collected a bunch of advice and tips and tricks that I have used both during cancer treatment, my own experience with ACLr, and now through care taking my partner through hers. I know there have been guides before, but mine is a bit different and aimed at caregivers so I thought I'd post it here since ya'll helped me so much instead of it just circulating the rugby community every time a teammate or friend has to have ACLr or some other reconstruction. Hope it's allowed and helps!
A Cancer Patients Guide To Knee Reconstruction Recovery
A Comprehensive Guide To Surviving and Thriving In the Pre and Post-op Period Built From The Perspective of Caretaker and Patient.
Before The Date
__/__/____

Preparation

It is important to adequately prepare for surgery in the weeks and days leading up to the procedure. A significant period of immobility and reliance on support can be expected immediately post-op and will vary by procedure and personal experience. Physical modification of living space and thorough preparation allows for the immediate post-op period to be free of emergency store runs and the small inconveniences that can add up to big frustration. Not having food and drink nearby as well as other essentials may be a small deal now, but can turn into a big deal when you can no longer get those things for yourself. While physical preparation (home modifications, adaptive tools, meal prepping, etc.) are important, mental preparation is crucial to the long term success of the repair. Making small, achievable goals in the immediate post-op period and maintaining a long sighted view of recovery will make the pain and immobility that is initially experienced more bearable. Additionally, social support through a partner, family members, or friends is an essential part of recovery, as is maintaining contact with sports teams or other social groups during rehabilitation.

General PEARLs

• Pre-surgical rehab is an essential part of recovery and can improve immediate outcome so if it is a resource available to you- use it!
• Learn the basics of your procedure such as reconstruction technique, graft type, surgeons recovery timeline, where you will do your rehab, and what you should expect going into and coming out of surgery. Knowledge is power and can give a sense of control and set reasonable expectations in a situation that is otherwise out of your control.
• Seek out positive experiences and recovery stories from other people who have had your procedure and gather as much advice as possible from resources such as ACL. Know that some people will have negative experiences, everyone is an individual, and that much of your long term recovery is in your control.
• Expect and learn to advocate for yourself or the person you are taking care of. Be vocal and honest with any needs you may have and understand that issues may come up in the immediate post-operative time that you as a patient or caregiver may have to contact your surgeon to resolve. Familiarize yourself with who to call and when *before* you leave after surgery, as well as being quick to call with any questions or problems that arise. It is better to be told that what you are experiencing is normal than to sit with the anxiety of the unknown.
• Create a folder with all relevant information: Surgeons name, procedure information, follow-up appointment dates and times, phone numbers, emergency contacts, facility of choice in an emergency situation, and any other important information. Maintain this folder throughout your recovery and add paperwork as it comes.

Days Leading Up To Surgery

• Contact support people and confirm any arrangements that have been made including but not limited to: Who is taking you to/from surgery, child or pet care, transportation to first PT appointments, meals, etc.
• Recommended Items we found essential:
  • Ice Machine (Polarcube, etc) if at all possible
    • Recommend checking facebook marketplace or other second hand options, as they cost hundreds new but can be found for $40 or so used.
    • Studies have shown these do actually reduce pain and lend to earlier mobilisation and our experience has shown this to be essential not just immediately post-op but in the weeks and months afterwards so if you *can* obtain one you absolutely should.
  • Large sweatshirt and oversized shorts for surgery day, especially if you wear a bra, as putting clothes on after surgery can be a struggle and it’s easiest to just throw on a sweatshirt and shorts that fit over your post-op bandages and brace.
    • In particular, we found a blanket hoodie to be very useful both for going home and the first few days as it could stay on when moving around/when napping.
  • Neck Pillow
    • Helps with reading or other activities during long hours spent in bed or on the couch and really helped in the first two days to prevent neck strain and provide head positioning during napping.
  • Large pillows for body positioning and elevation of the leg
    • We found cheap, giant, dog beds from places like TJ Max or Marshalls to be more affordable than specialty products
    • A large, thin, dog bed (or blanket) rolled into a tube and secured with stretch bandage or tape around the surgical leg and brace helped significantly with comfort during sleep so that the leg was padded, comfortable, and the other leg didn’t get roughed up from the brace.
  • A shower chair
    • Can be found used at second hand stores like Goodwill, or cheap online
    • Easy substitute is a chair covered in a trash bag
    • Allowed showering the second day post-op which was a huge mental boost and relieved physical discomfort and achy muscles
  • Extra large leg cast cover
    • Can be found cheap online
    • Placed around outside of brace covering the entire leg initially, we then found it easier to place on the leg and place the brace outside of the cover for the remaining healing period for the incisions: We did this after the first PT appointment when it was safe to take off the brace for short periods while laying down. We acquired a second post op brace from a friend (you can find on eBay for cheap) and it was amazing to have, as we could let it dry after showering and immediately put her post op brace back on.
  • Foldable stool
    • Great for elevating the leg during transfers, while on the toilet, etc.
  • Lap Desk
    • Great for eating on the couch or in bed, but we also found it useful as a side table for holding drinks/meds/remotes/books that could be taken to whatever room they landed in at the time
    • A small table works as well, really just anything that can be used to set things on within arms reach
  • Assortment of sodas, water, seltzers, snacks, etc.
    • There is no way to know what you will want and when, but when you want it it’s nice to *have* it available
    • Appetite often decreases after surgery so make sure to have favourites on hand so that when you *are* hungry you have it immediately before your body changes its mind
  • A big bucket
    • We used a soft plastic beach type bucket from the dollar store, it was extremely useful to have to put small items in, a small towel, a spare water bottle, extra meds, baby wipes, etc.
    • Also doubled as an emergency puke bucket, as you never know when a sudden bout of nausea might hit in the first day or two after surgery
  • Extra reusable ice packs and bags of ice
    • Your home ice maker will not be able to keep up with the demands of constant icing the first week or so
    • Reusable ones are great for ‘hot spots’ and short trips where you can’t take the ice machine
  • Extra steri-strips and assortment of bandages
    • Sometimes there’s extra leakage, sometimes your steri-strips come off and you need to slap a new one on, sometimes you’re allergic to the ones they put on you at the hospital. Always consult a medical professional, but it’s handy to have these on hand just in case.
    • We also used a bulky padded bandaid to keep the brace off the healing incisions once the large post-op dressing was taken off which helped immensely.
  • Compression sleeves
    • Aside from helping with swelling these also provided a layer of protection under the post-op brace
    • We found cheap ones at Wal-Mart (copper brand) but also just bought a cheap pair of leggings a size down and cut off one of the legs to use before getting a more expensive one once swelling had fully subsided after a few weeks. Your leg will change so cheap works great at first, then you can get something a bit more substantial when you know what you’ll need long term. Now she wears high compression socks to sleep 3 months out.
  • Slide on shoes
    • Self explanatory, bending down to put on shoes becomes a chore after surgery. Avoid flip flops or other styles that can become a trip hazard.
  • Baby Wipes/Dude Wipes/etc.
    • Wiping down after you get home from surgery can help prevent that icky feeling and restore some sense of normalcy, then can be used over the next few days before you can shower more normally
  • Lotion and chapstick
    • Hospitals dry out your skin big time, and lips are often cracked post surgery from intubation/LMA placement
  • Small, easily labelled tupperware containers
    • Regular pill containers are too small to hold pain meds, OTC pain meds, anticoagulants such as aspirin, supplements, and edibles or other small things you take with your medication. We got small tupperware boxes with lids from the dollar store.
    • We found it very convenient to have six sets of meds set up and labelled with times which meant we never missed doses and could leave the next dose of meds at bedside, take them with us when going to appointments, and keep up with what had been given and when.
  • Small notebook to record med times and other important information
  • Two extra changes of clothes already setup and ready to go
  • Compression device
    • We are athletes so we already had leg compression sleeves but these days off brand versions can be bought online cheap. Studies have shown these lead to reduced pain, increased mobilisation, reduced the chance of blood clots, and there is even some evidence they help with bone healing.
    • We used it 3 days post op and beyond and her range of motion was significantly improved after the first time.
  • A yoga strap
    • Excellent for strapping to the brace and moving the surgical leg
• If possible, pick up post-op medications prior to surgery to prevent any unexpected delay in obtaining them. If this is not possible, verify that the prescription can be filled the day of the surgery by your selected pharmacy and that it has been filled prior to leaving after your surgery. Controlled substances cannot be transferred to another pharmacy without a new prescription sent directly from the provider. You do not want to be trying to get in contact with a physician in the hours after surgery, unable to manage pain, before the pharmacies close for the night.
• Do a thorough clean of your living area, it will make the time after surgery when you cannot independently do normal activities more bearable and a neat organised space is easier to function in when your body is not cooperating. Take special attention to removing tripping hazards and clearing a wide path from wherever you plan to spend your recovery and the bathroom.
• Plan to spend the first couple of days in one spot and on one floor and set up that area the day before surgery. If you have a downstairs bathroom a floor mattress or well setup couch can be your landing pad until you are more mobile and is the easiest during the immediate post-op period. That being said, if you don’t, it’s easier to get upstairs by sliding up on your bum immediately post-op when your pain is still well controlled than realise that you have no bathroom downstairs a few hours later when the pain has started to set in. Wherever you intend to land, plan on staying there at least a couple of days and bring all your supplies to that area. Plan to lay with your surgical leg on the outside of what you are laying on, this makes transferring easier.
• Have your recovery bed setup the day before surgery and prepared for when you return before you leave the day of, including blankets and your supply table setup.
• Meal prep, whether that means cooking or getting easy to make microwave meals is up to you. You won’t feel like cooking and neither will your caretaker the first few days. High protein, easy to eat meals are key! We had chicken and broccoli casserole, egg and sausage frittata, and lots of applesauce the first few days and it was a lifesaver not to have to think about meals.
• Spend some time mentally preparing for the long haul of recovery and make long term plans that fit within your timeline. For example, we planned to attend a rugby game five days after surgery *but* planned nothing else for that day and the next day. We also planned hiking trips the next fall, and other events appropriate for her timeline along the way that could be looked forward to and keep up morale. Remember that this is temporary and that it is okay to be recovering and resting, expect hard moments and days but keep things planned so you don’t get stuck in those down places.
• Eat your favourite meal and eat well the day before surgery. Your body needs fuel to recover and fasting the day of surgery sucks. As weird as it sounds, after multiple surgeries, the pre-surgery night meal of whatever I want is one shiny thing in a crappy situation to hold on to.
• Plan for what you want your first meal to be and consider making a playlist for the ride to and from surgery. Small things, again, help maintain a sense of control and comfort in a situation where you are largely out of control and these things can be done with friends or support people in the days leading up to reduce anxiety and pass time.
• Hit the gym, take a walk, do a hike, visit places or do things you enjoy but won’t be able to do in immediate recovery! We took my partners knee to one last tournament before her surgery, it helped pass time and kept spirits high.

Day Of And Immediate Post-Surgery Phase

• Maintain fasting starting at whatever hour you are told. Some people can drink clear liquids up to a certain point, others are completely nothing by mouth. Your instructions will guide you on this.
• Before leaving home double check that everything is set up how you need it and place a blanket, pillow, drink, and snack of choice in the car. You may or may not need it but if you do it is important to have. Make sure your ice packs are in the freezer ready to go!
• Bring your own post-op snack if you are picky or have food allergies, otherwise you’re stuck with whatever graham cracker and applesauce combo the facility gives you.
• Go with the flow, or as I always say “surrender”. Feel what you feel, have a cry in the car before you go in, listen to your playlist, bring your blanket or other comfort items into pre-op, tell your support person what’s going through your mind, tell your pre-op staff how you’re doing, ask all the questions, and most importantly just do what you have to do. For some people surgery can be overwhelming and the loss of control frightening, but fighting only makes it worse, so whatever you are just be it. I’m pre-op pacer myself, but some people just snuggle up under some warm blankets and wait. Either way, just let the waves take you where they go and know you’re along for the ride. Remember that future you with a healthy joint thanks you for what you’re doing today.
• Speak frankly with your anesthesiologist and utilise any pain control or anxiety control options given to you. There is no award for least meds taken or toughest patient of the day. If a nerve block is available, know that you can request sedation for its placement, and utilise that option if at all possible.
• Caregivers should bring something to keep them entertained and be prepared for a long period without update once surgery has started. Honour your feelings as well, it can be tough to watch someone you care about go through this! Consider having someone to act as a support person for you as well through text or phone, that way you can divert your own worries or struggles to them and away from the person having surgery while still making sure you are also taken care of.
• Make sure that pain is well controlled before leaving after surgery. You have more options there than you will at home and getting things under control once pain has become unbearable can be very difficult.
• Make sure you note when the next dose of medication is due, what medication they should be taking, and write it down.
• Double check contacts from your surgeons office and add any post op paperwork to your folder in case you need the information later.
• If your post-op meal requires picking up, or your prescription, try and do that immediately after leaving surgery even if you are not hungry yet. This is the most comfortable you will be for a while and your support person will be unable to leave for at least that day and night. I have been known to peruse the big gas station after surgery in search of snacks, my partner however simply waved to the nice people at the drive through and napped the rest of the way home before eating some hours later.
• Once you get home crash wherever you plan on spending the rest of the time. Don’t have friends or family over that first day. Just go ahead and sleep through the rest of the anaesthesia and get comfortable.
• Try and keep your home cool, and consider keeping the room dim for the first few hours if not days. Sleep is precious and pain meds can make you hot, and getting hot can lead to nausea. It is better to have the home cool and the person snuggled under blankets and comfortable than be trying to cool someone down who just had surgery and got too hot and is now dizzy, nauseous, and miserable. The least stimulation for the first little while the better, and naps will happen throughout the rest of the day and over the next few days. A cool, dim place lets this happen much easier than a bright, warm place where they might be overstimulated or awakened by noise or activity.
• If allowed, try and activate the quad muscle immediately after returning home and once every few hours by having them squeeze it and feeling for contraction while in the brace. Some people will be able to begin range of motion exercises immediately and if so, make sure to do them as soon as allowed even if that means just helping them by doing gentle manual range of motion movements in the brace.
• If it’s not already on, begin continuous icing as soon as you come out of surgery either by meticulously timing the replacement of ice packs or with the ice machine. Make sure to check the ice machine, replace ice as often as needed, and keep it on *continuously* for the next few days. For us this meant I checked it at every medication dose throughout the night and added ice during that time as well. We went through frozen mini water bottles and bags of ice like crazy the first week.
• Elevate the surgical leg as high as possible, placing support under the heel and calf but not directly under the knee to promote extension and prevent more headaches with gaining range of motion later on.
  • We found that icepacks directly under the knee helped tremendously with the discomfort associated with this.
• Anticipate that bathroom trips will not be fun or easy and take them extremely slow. As a caregiver allow the person to guide you on what they need and don’t need your help with and avoid grabbing or moving someone unexpectedly. Standing, acclimating to being upright, and then proceeding to the bathroom is the best way to do things and rushing will only result in frustration for both of you. A rolling chair or wheelchair can be helpful, but for some people standing up and sitting down is harder than just moving on to the bathroom. Pay attention as a caregiver and know that it is possible they may need your help getting off the toilet or back from the bathroom so be close by and available should that happen. For the first few days do not lock the bathroom door in case of an emergency.
• Place chairs or things to sit on around your path to the bathroom, kitchen, etc. And consider a small backpack or using a rolling chair to carry items around the house.
• Once you know when your next dose is, set alarms for each time your doses are due. If using the med boxes this makes doing meds and keeping track very easy, as they are each labelled with a time and all we had to do was open the box and take the meds instead of finding each bottle and dosing each med individually each time. As the days went on we were able to re-label and time the boxes as needed and remove meds as needed or adapt to what was needed when sleeping or up during the day.
  • For example day 1 would look like:
    • First post-op doses at 4pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 8pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, 10mg edible, 12.5mg diphenhydramine (itching and sleep), stool softener, and regular night time meds.
    • Midnight box: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 4AM: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, edible (if nauseas or restless).
    • 8AM box (preparing to get up): 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, aspirin, stool softener, normal morning meds.
    • 12pm: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, 800mg ibuprofen.
    • Repeated on time, reducing pain med dose as tolerable, and refilling boxes 1x a day.
• If possible do scheduled tylenol (paracetamol) and ibuprofen (or another NSAID), alternating them on the dosing schedule, and take them religiously even through the night. This also goes for additional pain medications, which you will also need to wake to take through the night if you are prescribed for at least the first night.
• Staying on schedule might mean waking up in the night, but it’s better to be awoken to take meds than to wake up in pain and spend several hours trying to get it under control. You may find you seldom need them if your nerve block is in place, or you may just not need very much at all during your recovery. It is easier to trial run this after the first day by stretching out the time between doses from 4 to 6 to 8 and then potentially off entirely, but everyone will have their preferences.
• Eat a small snack with every med dose and keep emergency meds (extra pain med doses, nausea meds, etc.) at bedside as well as the next set of meds due so they can be taken when it is time.
• We found that edibles were a great addition to pain and nausea control after surgery. There are medication options available and having at least one option for nausea is advisable for the first few days after surgery when anaesthesia and medication can really make you want to puke.
• Expect absolutely nothing in the first few days post-op. Some people will feel well enough to move around, others will not be able to do anything but get up to use the bathroom. Expecting nothing is better than expecting more and being disappointed or frustrated. I would highly suggest not making plans until your first follow up 7 or so days after surgery.
• Be obsessive about icing, meds, any PT you have been given, and keeping track of appointments. Give yourself the best start to your recovery that you can and you will thank yourself later!

I have zero experience doing any type of coding and have been googling how to write a short script to send me a text message whenever a stock price is within 1/2 percent of a low range and 1/2 percent of a high range, so i know to sell when it gets to the high range and buy back at the lower range.
It is not working, any tips? I've tested that twilio sends an alert to my phone but not getting any alerts otherwise.
import yfinance as yf
from twilio.rest import Client
import schedule
import time
import os
from dotenv import load_dotenv
import logging
from datetime import datetime
import pytz

Set up logging

logging.basicConfig(level=logging.INFO, format='%(asctime)s - %(levelname)s - %(message)s')

Load environment variables from .env file

load_dotenv()

Twilio credentials from environment variables

account_sid = os.getenv('TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID')
auth_token = os.getenv('TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN')
twilio_phone_number = os.getenv('TWILIO_PHONE_NUMBER')
my_phone_number = os.getenv('MY_PHONE_NUMBER')
client = Client(account_sid, auth_token)

List of stocks with low and high price thresholds

stocks = {
'INDA': (51.10, 54.11),
'EWN': (49.50, 52.98),
'AMLP': (46.07, 47.44),
'CPER': (28.37, 32.17),
'SLV': (25.28, 29.67),
'EWG': (31.38, 33.16),
'UUP': (28.34, 28.98),
'GLD': (212.00, 226.00),
'AAAU': (22.67, 24.37),
'COPX': (46.90, 52.57),
'GDX': (33.61, 37.89),
'IVOL': (18.39, 18.87),
'CRIT': (19.70, 22.48),
'URA': (30.55, 34.08),
'DRLL': (30.38, 32.39),
'MSOS': (8.75, 11.24),
'KBA': (22.23, 23.64),
'HYDR': (5.24, 6.20),
'IDRV': (30.77, 32.44),
'EWZ': (31.03, 32.74),
'DKNG': (42.01, 46.77),
'DIDIY': (4.50, 5.14),
'CELH': (75.26, 99.92),
'CAVA': (71.33, 81.28),
'MPW': (3.84, 5.84),
}
def send_sms(message):
logging.info(f"Sending SMS: {message}")
try:
message = client.messages.create(
body=message,
from_=twilio_phone_number,
to=my_phone_number
)
logging.info(f"SMS sent successfully: {message.sid}")
except Exception as e:
logging.error(f"Failed to send SMS: {e}")
def check_stock_prices():
est = pytz.timezone('America/New_York')
now = datetime.now(est)

Only run on Monday to Friday, between 9 AM and 4 PM EST

if now.weekday() < 5 and 9 <= now.hour < 16:
for symbol, thresholds in stocks.items():
try:
stock = yf.Ticker(symbol)
current_price = stock.history(period="1d")['Close'].iloc[-1]
logging.info(f"Checking {symbol} with current price {current_price}")
low_threshold = thresholds[0] * 1.005
high_threshold = thresholds[1] * 0.995
logging.info(f"{symbol}: low_threshold={low_threshold}, high_threshold={high_threshold}")
if current_price <= low_threshold or current_price >= high_threshold:
message = f"Alert: {symbol} price is {current_price:.2f}, within 0.5% of threshold."
logging.info(f"{symbol} price is out of the threshold range, sending alert.")
send_sms(message)
else:
logging.info(f"{symbol} price {current_price} is within the normal range.")
except Exception as e:
logging.error(f"Failed to check price for {symbol}: {e}")
else:
logging.info("Outside trading hours")
logging.info("Starting stock price monitoring...")
schedule.every(30).minutes.do(check_stock_prices)
while True:
schedule.run_pending()
time.sleep(1)

Hi All,
So, I'm leaving my job in Chicago (an abusive work environment) and moving in with my boyfriend in New York City. I'm 1.5 years into my Ch 13, and because I'm moving without a job (though I am looking), I asked my lawyer what I should do should I not find a job/make below the means test for NYC, and he said, "It's possible that the best move will be to allow this case to be dismissed then file a fresh Chapter 7 in New York once your new income is established. New York has higher baseline income figures that might make it easier to get a cheaper case once you're domiciled there."
My question is, why can't my current case be converted to a Chapter 7 without having to file a new Bankruptcy? I will ask my attorney, but I don't want to insult him, so I thought I would check with the pros here first :)
​

Ever-shifting Short Seller Claims

The short sellers attacking RILY in 2023-2024 have been relentless (currently 57% of float sold short per FinViz), with an ever-shifting list of wild accusations.
It's sickening to watch them compile a never-ending list of baseless wild theories and claims to support their short positions, which are demonstrably false. But as each is proved false, they pivot to new claims, and/or change the goalposts.
The sheer volume of shifting claims makes it hard to track how despotic they are with their "platform," and how many falsehoods they've spun. Even for someone who watched it in real-time, for almost a year

Compiled & Debunked

Sunlight kills vampires. To that end, I've compiled a list of (i) claimants (ii) claims (iii) reality (iv) definitive source proving reality.

Why Did They Target RILY?

One of the most vocal short sellers, Nate Koppikar (who also introduced Marc Cohodes to the "opportunity") has a fund Orso Partners. Based on their SEC registration document, this is their investment thesis:
"The Account’s investment objectives are to achieve capital appreciation primarily by identifying and selling short marketable equity securities of underfollowed and complex companies with misleading or corrective disclosures through a research-intensive process. The Account employs a short-biased investment strategy with an emphasis on primarily small to mid-cap companies that are underfollowed and complex (i.e., companies with market capitalizations of less than $5 billion which the market does not yet have a wellformed bull and/or bear perspective)."
RILY fits their description. The icing on the cake was the relatively large market cap, and the relatively small float. Given extremely high insider ownership (32.9% of shares per the proxy), and limitations on when and how insiders can trade, the "free float" of the stock (i.e., the shares that regularly trade) is very small for the size of the company. Moreover, the setup would only get better - given insiders have consistently used their free cash to buy additional shares hand-over-fist (further reducing the float).
That meant, with relatively small amounts of capital, the short sellers could shove around the stock price. That ability to move price opens another profit avenue - taking large derivative positions (buying puts, and selling calls), and shoving the price (or allowing it to drift up) to profit all along the way. It looked so good, the stock has been the highest-shorted on the US indices for several months. Even after the release of the 10-K, shares remain "hard to borrow" with elevated borrow fees.

Debunked Claims

The claims made by vocal short sellers could fill a book. Most were outrageous and fanciful when they were proposed. Virtually all have objectively debunked. This isn't a comprehensive list, as their claims are too numerous and varied. But it paints an illuminating picture.
With a track record this poor, one would expect the short sellers to exit - rather than continuing to spin new narratives. Perhaps the continued attacks are their exit strategy to avoid bankruptcy... Well, #Bullish.
With the highest short interest of all US stocks (albeit likely decreased from the highs of ~76% of the float), I think this is more than ripe for a return to fair value - or well above, if a short squeeze occurs.
Note: this sub disallows image posts. There is a similar post in the RILYStock sub which contains virtually all source images for the claim in the comments (too many images to embed in the post). The source images are illuminating.
Note that the list below deliberately excludes three types of posts/claims from the short sellers:
A) Juvenile personal attacks and attempts to character assassinate and dox a long list of people (RILY CEO, RILY new hires, RILY clients, Marcum the auditor, Marcum's lead audit professional, any firm or individual publicly posting a bull thesis on RILY, etc.).
B) Those that make no objective claims, but simply exist as a product of malicious degeneracy (like pictures of roasted pigs in ovens labeled Bryant Riley the CEO, photoshopped pictures of the CEO in prison chains next to convicted felons, video of an obese woman barely able to walk being gored by a bull labeled Mrs. Riley the CEO's wife, etc.).
C) Those that are impossible for short sellers to know, and impossible to objectively verify (e.g., Marc Cohodes claiming a single RILY trader front runs the CEOs personal short trades in front of clients taking following the firm's bullish advice on those stocks, to guarantee profits).

Claimant	Claim	Reality
1) Wolfpack	Wolfpack “RILY will record investment losses of up to ~$700 million in 2023” FALSE 10-K	FALSE
2) Wolfpack	“new loan to CORZQ will work out just as badly as the last and end in default (again) before June 2023”	Repaid in fullFALSE , early, on 1/6/2024.
3) Wolfpack	“The coupon rate on RILY’s seven issues of baby bonds ranges from 5% to 6.75%, which we believe to be far too low to compensate investors for the existential risk that accompanies these securities.”	Full redemption FALSE of May 2024 came early. Far more than sufficient cash to cover debt payments.
4) Wolfpack	“According to our analysis, 4 of RILY’s largest 7 corporate borrowers with outstanding loan balances of $295.3 million are at a high risk of default, or in the case of CORZQ, is already in default.”	Core Scientific IncExela Technologies Arena Group Holdings FALSE a. . repaid early and in full ($111MM of the “risk”) b. repaid term loan in full ($55.8MM of the “risk”) c. debt retired in full ($99MM of the “risk”). Publicly disclosed in the most recent 10-K for each company (search for "Riley" in the filing)
5) Wolfpack	“RILY’s NAV is Far Below the $1.1 Billion Minimum NAV Requirement That Is Required for the Nomura Credit Agreement Putting RILY at Risk of Collapse in 2023”	is in full compliance FALSE RILY with the Nomura credit agreement. Moreover, reflecting the strength of the relationship, Nomura even granted a no-fee extension when the 10-K filing was delayed. Also see 10-K for current status.
6) Wolfpack	“Over $200 Million of the Goodwill and Intangible Assets on RILY’s Balance Sheet is Attributable to its Telecom Rollup, which is Centered on Dial-up and DSL Internet:” - criticizing them as dying businesses with no value	extremely valuableFALSE Segment is . From just 2020 to 2023, the communications segment has returned over $212.2MM in adjusted EBITDA.
7) Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various	RILY committed fraud with loans and closing the FRG acquisition. "The fact $RILY closed the FRG deal while hiding the Kahn loan - an all PIK defaulted loan backed by $FRG shares - is a Hall of Fame worthy act of fraud. I thought after Enron/Sarbox we couldn't have something like this happen in US markets."	FALSE A law firm led an internal investigation, and an independent external investigation both found “The review confirmed what the Company previously disclosed: that the Company and its executives, including Bryant Riley, had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Prophecy.” “The results of the independent investigation confirmed that the Company and its executives had no involvement with, or knowledge of, any of the alleged misconduct concerning Mr. Kahn or any of his affiliates. This independent investigation was conducted subsequent to the Company's February 22, 2024 disclosure of the internal review performed with the assistance of Sullivan & Cromwell LLP as outside counsel.” Also see 10-K
8) Marc Cohodes (AlderlaneEggs), ParrotCapital, Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Various	The 10-K will never be filed. They can't produce audited financials.	Audited 10-K FALSE was filed. Delay was due to Audit committee fulfilling its responsibilities and proactively conducting investigations (internal and external).
9) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs) + Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear) + Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate) + ParrotCapital	Sullivan and Cromwell knew about Massive Fraud, and did a "sham investigation"	Sullivan and Cromwell FALSE is one of the most respected law firms, in the US and worldwide. "Sullivan & Cromwell continues to lead all law firm advisers in announced and completed global deals in 2023, according to Bloomberg and LSEG. The Firm advised on global announced deals totaling more than $345 billion, representing a 12.1 percent market share, per Bloomberg, and on completed global deals totaling more than $431 billion, representing a 16.9 percent market share, per LSEG." They're not compromising themselves for a relatively small client.
10) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Nate Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear), Bill Abbate Jr. (JrAbbate), Parrot Capital	Marcum is enabling Massive Fraud	MarcumFALSE is a respected audit firm, and 13th largest by revenue. "Marcum LLP advanced into the Top 15 in the 2023 Vault Accounting list of top-ranked accounting firms. Marcum climbed six levels to the No. 13 ranking overall and earned a ranking of 14 in prestige. The Firm also won Top 20 rankings across all Practice Area, Quality of Life, and Diversity categories, including several new classifications added this year."
11) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	Nomura is enabling Massive Fraud	NomuraFALSE is a global financial services company, and the oldest brokerage firm in Japan. They operate in a highly regulated industry. They're not putting themselves on the line for a relatively small client.
12) Parrot Capital	"The list of $RILY enablers is massive: Marcum LLP, Sullivan and Cromwell, Seeking Alpha, Holbrook Holdings, $AX Axos Bank, Many, many more."	FALSE There's no global conspiracy whereby these companies - all respected law firms, auditors, banks, and media outlets - are collectively colluding to enable RILY to commit fraud. Requires only two brain cells and one functioning synapse to know there's no grand collusion cabal between these disparate companies.
13) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs), Jonathan Weil at WSJ	Franchise Group shares used to secure Kahn loan: "It is unclear whether Kahn pledged the same shares twice—to both Prophecy and B. Riley."	stated by the company UCC search FALSE As , Simple disproves this. UCC # 202302295747
14) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	“Bryant Riley is on the Road, telling people the ‘audit partner at Marcum left’ and that ‘I have made mistakes’ “	hit the 5yr SEC ruleFALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had , so he was never working on this year’s audit.
15) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"So it turns out James La Rocca was Fired by MarcumLLP If nothing was wrong with prior $RILY Audits, why is he gone? This will be great in discovery of what exactly went on.	hit the 5yr SEC ruleFALSE Marcum audit partner was working on the audit the whole time; the original audit partner had , so he was never working on this year’s audit.
16) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear)	“So Bryant Riley did disseminate MNPI back in March” in response to Cohodes claim that he told people the Marcum partner left	5 consecutive yearsFALSE Cohodes claimed Bryant Riley was telling people the Marcum auditor left. Koppikar called that disseminating MNPI. Cohodes statement was false (and thus Koppikar's derivate claim is also false). A different auditor worked on RILY, as Marcum follows the SEC rules; the lead auditor can only serve the client for . As such, Koppikar’s derivative claim of disseminating MNPI is false.
17) Koppikar (TheFriendlyBear)	“He appears to still not be familiar with the voting interest model of consolidation… why is a life science and tech partner signing an extremely complex investment company / broker dealer audit ???” i.e., auditor is unqualified	Marcum is a highly respected auditorFALSE The auditor is fully qualified. ; they don't hire unqualified people, or assign them to clients they're unqualified to audit. RILY is continuing to use Marcum as the 2024 auditor.
18) Marc Cohodes (AlderLaneEggs)	"Now that the $RILY dividend is going away, this omission is serious stuff"	reduced 24Q1FALSE The dividend did not go away. It was from $1.00/share to $0.50/share, to allow them to opportunistically allocate capital. 23Q4 and

There are too many source images for the claims above to embed in a reddit post, and this sub doesn't allow images in comments. Images can be seen on a version of this posted to a sub that discusses RILY in the comments (~55 images). All claims can be sourced on the various social media venues and websites utilized by the short sellers. Other sources include: https://wolfpackresearch.com/research/rily/ and here https://friendlybearresearch.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/RILY-Analyst-Day-Questions-12_11_13-Final.pdf and https://www.institutionalinvestor.com/article/2cpgaejc45gocvoqb1ngg/corner-office/how-b-riley-garnered-the-biggest-short-interest-of-2023 and https://www.wsj.com/finance/how-an-unremarkable-deal-became-a-big-threat-to-a-small-investment-bank-f819a169 . https://adviserinfo.sec.gov/firm/summary/304196 form ADV. This is not financial advice. All claim summarizations reflect my interpretation of the short seller claims, and should be verified against original sources, along with all counters.

About 4 years ago I went to work for a private cannabis startup. I worked as a staff accountant handling day to day transactions, underneath their CPA. Soon after starting I extended a loan of $100k to the company, for a 2-year period. About 1-1/2 years into the loan it was obvious (to me) the company was in real trouble, so I told the CEO I would be leaving the company and closing out the loan at the loan's maturity date that May. This was a 6-month notice. As things got closer and I could tell he was ducking the issue, so with 30 days until maturity I asked him point blank about my payoff. He said he'd "been meaning to talk to me" and that although I was owed the money, he didn't know where it would come from. This was a lie - I met with him face to face on a weekly basis to discuss A/P for the entire time I worked there, so he had ever opportunity to speak with me at any time, he just chose not to. Long story short is I quit that night and demanded my loan payoff at maturity, and even filed a complaint with the BBB since they were telling me I couldn't get my loan paid off but yet were still seeking new investors. Following the BBB complaint the company claimed they intended to pay me and tried to chalk things up to a misunderstanding. The loan matured and I received my check for $100k, deposited it, but the next day the funds were reversed from my account as the company had put a stop payment on the check. Prepared for the worst, I already had a lawyer lined up and they were served notice the same week. A week later I was wired the money plus interested for the extra days. I know this money came from the CEO himself as he'd been putting money into the company each month to keep it afloat. All told he has over $3m of his personal funds in the company when I quit.
So all was good for me, however there are well over 100 other investors in the company, roughly split between those who invested as capital and those who invested via short term loans. The company just closed almost half their stores, shuttered their cultivation, and turned over the company to a local group who is now managing it. They're on the verge of collapse and I don't see how any of the other 100+ investors are ever going to be made whole again, leaving me as the single person getting their money back from this entire mess. I feel like I'm able to walk away clean, but a few doubts linger:

1. If the company were to be determined to be a Ponzi scheme, could there be a lookback period that will allow them to try and recoup the money paid back to me? I remember hearing about people who got their money back from Bernie Madoff but were gone after because of this.
   
2. Since I worked there as a staff accountant (no decision making, that fell entirely to the CPA!), could I be deemed to have had any sort of insider knowledge? I really don't see how this would apply since I was only abiding by the loan payoff date that was agreed upon 2 years prior (unlike selling stocks) but lots of people are soon going to lose lots of money and I expect some resentment coming my way.
   

This was in the state of Maine.

Got arctis pro wireless headphones back in 2019 or 2020. Have used them without much issue on ps4 and ps5 without ever updating software or firmware. Have had minor issue where out of PlayStation rest mode my audio and mic are both muffled/low, but a power off and power on of the ps4/5 resolves the issue. I decided on a whim last week to check out SteelSeries website and noticed they had updates to include the ps5 as a source option (I always just used ps4 source while connected to ps5). After firmware update I was prompted to re-pair my headset to my transmitter. I was able to do so and see the mute button on my headset toggle the mute slider in the Gg app, but with basic sound test my Windows audio test sounds were not coming thru. I then went ahead with the software update. It again prompted me to pair my headset to my transmitter. However, I have been unable to do so. It shows pair failed each time I try. I have tried all sorts of resets of the transmitter (options reset), headset (unplug battery and hold power down for 10+ seconds), and even tried restoring to an old version of engine in attempts to install older firmware/SW versions. However, the headset is unable to see any further updates from the windows application (GG or old engine) because the applications are not recognizing my headset when plugged in with the provided usb cable, while Windows OS recognizes the headset when plugged in via device manager.
I see threads from years past with similar issues but none of the remedies have worked for me. It's as if the headset has no software installed; the headset seemingly will not enter pair mode. Bluetooth works fine.
I have been trying to work with SteelSeries support but thus far have not received any helpful info. They originally asked for log files which was a promising sign but have seemingly did not look at them. They asked for serial numbers which supposedly is just for show because they have no way of tracking to confirm the authenticity of their own product without a receipt from the supplier I purchased the headset from. I bought these years ago and am struggling to find my receipt or even my card transaction. I fear the purchase is on a since closed credit card. SteelSeries has no registration with aforementioned serial number, which would be the best way to ensure customer service without needing the owner to store a receipt (20th century). It's like they want to advertise customer support without having any support.
I have no clue how a company can push software updates to "legacy" hardware and then not support software issues.
A software engineer should easily be able to get my headset back on its feet, but the support just isn't there.

Hi 😁 Just got home from running around all morning. I got up, took R to the bus stop, came home and immediately was on the phone with a client for an hour 🤦🏼‍♀️. Rushed to take a shower and get to my massage appointment with my favorite chic. She did EXTRA AWESOME today. Ran to the office. Had to go fix someone else's insurance and now I'm finally home with a few hours to myself before I have to get up and go pick R up. I had a taco for lunch. I'm soooooo beyond ready for a nap. I'm still tired from yesterday. I got a little pink, but it's tan now.
R had his 3rd swim lesson yesterday. He is showing huge improvement, but I think yesterday kicked his ass. She worked him hard. He has now been introduced to 3 out of 4 strokes. Butterfly is last. So far he seems to be the best and backstroke and isn't too bad at breast stroke for only doing it one time. We are skipping next week, because the lady didn't want to do a lesson on Memorial Day so he will go back again the week after and then I believe he's done with it. I'm not sure if he's going to stick with it, that's what this trial is for. I think he could be really good at this though. He's like me. Naturally well rounded at anything he tries. Not necessarily the absolute best, but reeeaaalllly good. I think he could be a track superstar if his head was in it. I couldn't believe the shit he was doing.
I am on a mission for a big citrine cluster rock to add to my table. I have been finding some pretty cool pieces but I don't wanna pay the ridiculous prices. If I keep it up I'm gonna need a bigger table.
Omg the tax lady just called me back. I got THE best news ever. I am getting a refund instead of having to pay. AND she said she going to go back and redo my last TWO years of taxes and I will get a refund AND get back all the money I paid in. So at the end of it all I will probably get back over a 10k check. I am soooooo relieved about this. I should have found her years ago. She said there were so many things he fucked up and wasn't making sense AND she said I can claim all those medical bills and even the sales tax on my car! Like holy shit. Why the hell didn't anyone else tell me that? The good news is that I will get this refund soon. The amendments might take 6 months but you know what? That is perfectly fine by me. I can track it and then wake up one day with a huge chunk in my account. I knew something was sketchy about paying in all that money when I was filing single, head of household with a dependent and all of those write-offs. I just didn't know where else to go and who else to trust. Thank God the dude in my office recommended me to her. I am keeping her forever! I just have to dig up a few papers but that's fine too. I am almost positive as to where I have everything. Soooooooooooo stoked 😁😁😁
On that note, I need to nap like I said I was going to. I miss you something fierce and I love you beyond measure or explanation. I will talk to you soon, my love. 😘😘 Always and forever, I love you more.
PS: Send me a picture pretty please 🥺 🙏🏼

I apologize in advance for the length of this thread, but by far this is the user that wrote the most comments in the video of our song. At first, he suggested Scepter and Reign, but he debunked this lead by saying: "Scepter and Reign can be crossed off. I have been corresponding with the lady whose name is mentioned in the legal document, Naomi (first name used with her permission, and only her first name) since Thursday. She was legitimately shocked her name was on the document because in all these years NOBODY ever contacted her regarding it. She thinks they may have realized how much money it would cost and probably withdrew. She knew both bands fairly well, scale of 1-10 she answered "6.5 maybe 7'ish". She designed 1 "logo" for each band that was literally just a sketch she made with their band names on them she could print out in the Xerox store she worked at. Scepter's original name was actually "Dungeon Master" but they changed it to fit their name on her design. As for the abandoned demo from Scepter, she said they abandoned it because they couldn't afford to produce it. They didn't even make it far enough to name their 3 or 4 songs. So, on to the big question, are either bands involved with this song? According to her both bands came out in 1985, and according to her this "The Falling King" song predates both bands by a year or 2. This is not Scepter or Reign, this song is older than both bands. According to her, she first heard this song on a Detroit station while visiting family. Even back then, the Detroit station personnel had absolutely NO CLUE who this was. She remembers her father making fun of the singers accent claiming it was a "Posh" accent and also used to think the lyric was "The fall, the fall in the king" lol. I explained how this song was recorded off of several stations in 1987 and she replied "How many songs do you hear on the radio that are several years old?". She was stumped this was played on Z-Rock because this does not sound like an amateur band to her. She is not the only person to make comments that this does not sound like an amateur band, this sounds professionally recorded and produced, something EXTREMELY few amateugarage bands could have done. I thought i had something, but at least i tried. By the way, apparently Reign still performs in the Pittsburgh area under the name "Metallic Thunder"." (THIS IS HIS LATEST COMMENT) If this is true, it means our search will be even more difficult.
In one of his earliest comments he said this: "My 2 oldest sisters (born in 1970 and 1972) actually remember this song being played by garage bands and local talents in the Coatesville PA area. However, they both swear on mom and dads ashes that the first time they heard this song, a local music festival in Exton PA, I was NOT born yet (I was born in 1984). Even back then nobody could say who it was or what the title was. In fact the one band from Downingtown PA used to refer to it as "The Dungeons and Dragons song". And by that i mean, according to my sisters the lead singers girlfriend (or his sister....they could never tell?) would be in the crowd and when they were ready to end their performance she would shout "Play the Dungeons and Dragons song". My sisters also remember the adults thinking this song was somehow a promotional thing for the PA Renaissance Fair. Unfortunately they cannot offer any clues to the identity of this band or songs title, their guess, back then and still today, was Manowar."
At first, he claims our band is Manowar, explaining: "I do not think Manowar is an obscure band, nor do my sisters. The "obscure" bands mentioned in my postings are all the local garage/amateur bands that they remember playing this song and most of those garage/amateur bands even back then, along with my sisters, were under the impression this was a Manowar song. Many people, not just on this post but others feel this is Manowar "pitch" song, other bands thrown around have been Iron Maiden, Overdrive (Or Overkill, i'm not sure if it's the same band?), Blackmane, Axis and Cirith Ungol (spelling?). Keep this in mind, it's not that uncommon for mainstream/well known bands to have unreleased music in their "library". A good example, ask the most diehard Rammstein fans what their first song ever was, they'll probably answer Du Recht So Gut or Rammstein. Most people have never heard their 1992-1993 pitch song, "Tier" (Monster, beast). In fact, Till Linderman himself stated in 2018 he was unaware Tier was ever recorded by anyone, yet alone put up on the internet. Like this "Fall of the King" song, "Tier" was toted as an mystery song for years but was in a group of 4 or 5 other songs that Rammstein did but never released. One of my favorite bands, Corvus Corax, actually had something similar happen, a song they did back in the early 90's, "Vampire", opening for another band was recorded by a fan in the audience and made rounds on the Neo Folk community ages later. Corvus Corax themselves heard it on a radio station in Denmark roughly 2009'ish and called them asking how and when they got that song because they NEVER recorded it for public use. Personally i cannot give a wager who this is? I am not that good with this genre so i go with what people older than me and much better with this music say. To me it could be Manowar, something they never intended to be released publicly, it could be the Z'Rose a bunch of people feel it is, it could be Overdrive/Overkill (i do not know if these names are the same band or 2 separate ones?), it could be me time traveling impersonating my great uncle Fred......ok that last one was just meant to be a joke lol." Then someone says: "has your sister contacted erik to see about the the song?" and he says "OH HELL NO!!! They haven't spoken since they broke up in 1991-1992. I did reach out to his brother probably a year ago and never heard back."
He suggests it's either Manowar or Sarissa (he mispelled them): "@aSome1 There's some confusion, my sisters never said Z'Rose was playing the song in our hometown area. Local teenage to early college yrs bands were playing it. They recognized this song when I was on a family Zoom chat, i had this song on in the background (by accident actually lol) and my oldest sister (#1 born in '70) asked what i was listening to. I turned it up and she shook her head and asked the other sister (#2 born in '72) "Oh my gosh isn't that that stupid Manowar song Erik and his brother used to play all the time?". Erik was the name of her high school boyfriend. They remember hearing it first at an amateur music fest when my brother (born in '82) was still a baby. Mainly they remember mom fitting all of them in her old "Batmobile" station wagon. By the time i was born in '84 that station wagon was gone for at least several months. The band names they specifically remember playing this, and keep in mind these were "Garage bands" from the 80's were: Venomous Vomit, Razors in your Coffee (Erik's band), Ash to Ash, Cauldron Kings, Coven of Metal, Pridesville, South of Hell and Purgatory. They said there were a few more, but didn't remember....or care....to know their names. (Disclaimer: Several peoples associated with those mentioned bands have been contacted by me and several have replied.....the most common reply is "How the hell do you know us!?" lol)
"I have actually been looking at this song for almost 3yrs. I've had some "good leads" and some "bad leads" and i've also had "WTF leads".......but at the end it is still unsolved. So far the biggest contenders, from people way better with this music than me (I'm more a symphonic or extreme metal person) have been: Manowar, Iron Maiden, OverDrive, Overkill, Onslaught of Destruction and Sonic Mahem. My sisters really believe it is possibly an unreleased or "pitch demo" of Manowar but they also said it might be a Greek band from the early 80's called Sarassa or something like that?"
Then he denies it's Z-Rose: "@lostwavefinder587 I have seen that name tossed around a lot on forums and random chats (this being one of them). Most people way smarter and better with this music than myself seem to have the opinion that it is not Z'Rose. They range in reason from: the equipment sound professional and they were not, the dates don't add up, Z'Rose only did covers so even it is them in the recordings it's still not their song.....one individual (a supervisor at work who lived in Texas during this time frame) actually said "Z'Rose wouldn't have been sober enough to finish that song". I have only heard 1 Z'Rose recording, and unfortunately the person who recorded it (I think the date says 1989?) spends the majority of the 5 minute video talking during the performance so all i hear is them and not the singer. I have to emphasize about %99 of this info i'm presenting is NOT from me but people who know this genre of music way better than me....i'm more Symphonic metal and neo folk (Corvus Corax, Heilung, Faun etc."
"Out of curiosity, since a lot people think this might be Z'Rose, has anyone contacted the family/families of Nick or Joe Cavazos? My "team" is looking into a blog page from 2018 of a pretty intense exchange between a blogger and a woman who is believed to be "Rocker Joe's daughter. In this exchange she states this song is NOT her dad and uncle's band. But it gets pretty rough because the blogger keeps pressing and let's just say some NSFW language is exchanged. I will only say this, the woman's name does match one of the names in Julio "Joe" Cavazos obituary, but they can't tell if it is actually HER or someone posing. I also find it interesting that in another posting of this song someone is claiming to be the nephew of both Nick and Joe.....but about a dozen people ask about this song and he does not answer them......but someone else will ask something unrelated to this song and he answers??"
"About a year ago on another posting of this song, someone had a link to a conversation with a woman who was allegedly Joe Cavazos daughter. She very adamantly denied this was her dads band, Z'Rose. They person kept pressing her and she did not budge a single inch, "NO, its not my dad's band". The only thing that could be confirmed was the woman's name did match a name in Julio "Joe" Cavazos obituary as his daughter. But if it was her or not I can't say? Many peoples on other postings and on forums have all claimed to have gotten in contact with Z'Rose and stated they responded "No" to this being theirs.
So the "Kings Fall" song by Bernard Cavazos is actually a completely different song. He is also not related to the Z'Rose Cavazos. Somewhere I read that the "Kings Fall"/"Fallen King" song by Bernard Cavazos is about a corrupt politician or mafia like "king" not an actual king. Again none of this is from me, it's from things I read, not me.
When 'Wang' did a video about several mystery songs he included this one. In his video (I don't know if he made more than one?) he talked about how that Bernard Cavazos has been contacted and has denied this is his Fall of the King song. If my memory is correct Wang read a message from him explaining his "king" was a corrupt politician or gang leader like king. Wang also mentioned there was another Bernard Cavazos who was a doctor and he is sick and tired of people contacting him about this song"
Someone that replied to him said:
"@CharlesMarkward probably this tape recording was an attempt from them to make something of their own, many bands have started this way, an example is the Brazilian power metal band Angra, they were first meant to be an Iron Maiden tribute but as things went by, they have decided to release things of their own...I couldn't find anything about this "Z'Rose" band in metal-archives, neither at Google with a simple research, but the data gathered until this moment make sense: the Z Rock radio is from Texas, the so called "Z'Rose" band is also from Texas, it was the 80's, so, without internet, this was the way bands used to promote their work...but your story adds some drifts from this sensible data available until now...they are/were from Texas, ok...but until then, they weren't any big group, which means they were probably 9 to 5 salarymen whose musician activity was on weekends and the money earned wasn't enough to keep up with, so, a trip from TX to PA is a long ranged one and expensive for their then standards, I can remember when I've read the Mick Wall's Metallica biography, in which they highlight how hard was for them to go all the way from CA to NY to record Kill em' All, well, unless someone sponsored the so called "Z'Rose from Texas" (like the Zazula couple to Metallica) to play in the events you've mentioned in PA...which means they were good and had potential (this "mysterious recording" doesn't let me lie), because it takes a lot for someone at the other eastern extreme of a big country like the USA to call someone all the way from TX to play in an event when probably there were good bands around and without the need of a sponsorship to travel and get some place to sleep and eat..."
Therefore Charles says: "Also, i am not the one saying it's not them. People much better with much more access to metal archives/records are saying it's not them. BUT, everything you said makes perfect sense to me and I have no argument against any of it. It would make perfect sense if it was a possible pitch demo Z'Rose recorded and kept along for a few years before a station played it. My sisters are %98 certain it was a Manowar song, the only other band they mentioned as a possibility is a Greek band i can't find anything about called something like Sarassa??"
Someone told him to contact Erik: "A little bit ago someone in here suggested i contact my sisters ex and ask where he got this song. I could not get a hold of him, but i did get in contact with his brother he played with. According to the brother they got the song from their aunt who lived in Philly (Center City) and would send them tapes of songs to play. This song was on a tape sandwiched between "4 or 5" Manowar songs. He specifically remembered this for 2 reasons: 1, their aunt wrote "Killing of the king by No Name" and 2, the last song on the this tape was labled as a Venom song (he did not recall which) but was actually "Melody of Love" by Bobby Vinton😂. So i think this is why my sisters keep saying it's Manowar, because if it was on a tape with a bunch of their songs that chances are they heard a crapload of times?"
He contacted Erik's brother (Erik is supposedly the ex boyfriend of one of his sisters) and received this reply: "Erik's brother returned another email I sent about this song. I made a post about it about a week ago. The brother says their aunt who lived in Philly included this song on a mix tape of stuff for him and his brother to play. This song was sandwiched between several Manowar songs and the last song on the tape was supposed to be a Venom song but was actually Bobby Vinton's "Melody of Love" 🤣"
Therefore debunking the possibility it's a Manowar song, he also adds: "She (the aunt) passed in 2014. She would record songs off the radio for them. She lived in Philly (Center City) but also had a place in Florida, so he was never sure which cities radio stations she would record from. This song she wrote "Killing the King?" As the title and "???" as the band name, but it was between several Manowar songs. I think this might be why my oldest sisters are so insistent this is a Manowar song because they may have listened to it with Erik and his brother.....it's a theory lol"
He also thought of Iced Earth as the possible band: "lostwavefinder587 I immediately thought of Iced Earth when I heard this song. Although it's likely just a coincidence, it's interesting to note that Iced Earth was originally called "The Rose".
Someone said to him: "if that's any help, the Greek band's name you're talking about is probably Sarissa. I don't think it's them, though: the vox sound kinda different, and their songs are mostly Ancient Greece-themed." And he replied: "Yes, thank you! All this time I've been spelling it wrong. I gave a quick listen to a demo of theirs from '86. In terms of sound and beat and tempo etc, they are pretty close to this song. In terms of vocals, they sound nothing alike." Therefore, he debunked Sarissa himself.
Now here he changed his version and provides a new lead given by his sisters:
"Holy crap for some reason my last post got cut in half and didn't include the following info, sorry! So the individual i spoke to and got the new possible lead is the former singer of the one band my sisters mentioned, Purgatory, (i do NOT have his permission to use his real name but his stage name was Tarantula). He confirmed he played this song "once or twice" but didn't know the lyrics so they just repeated several "blocks" over and over again. He heard it from a band in NJ and when he asked if he could use the song they replied along the lines of "It's not our song, we don't care" but gave no indication who it was or they even knew who it was? He suggested the band "Knightmare" because they were from Texas and he remembers all of their songs being medieval or medieval fantasy related. Supposedly they wore what looked like full on plate armor (he does not know if it was actual metal armor or something made to look like it). He saw them perform a handful of times because he spent summers in Texas on his grandfathers (mistakenly said uncle in my last post, sorry) ranch and would sneak off at night to "the metal scene" (i do not know if that was a club name or if he just meant that in general?). He began visiting his grandfathers ranch in 1980 and stopped when his grandfather retired in 1992. He gave an estimated timeline for "Knightmare" of 1981-1989."
He corrects himself by saying they are not called "Knightmare": Interestingly, my supervisor at work lived in Texas during this timeline (roughly mid 70's to mid 90's from what i can gather?) and when I asked him about Knightmare he had no idea. But when i mentioned they dressed up like knights in armor he suddenly looked startled and said "That wasn't their name, their name was Battle Battalion or some s*** like that".
But then he says: "So i posted a few months ago about this song, my sisters remember garage bands in the area playing this… I checked every band called Knightmare on Metal Encyclopedia and it doesn’t look like it’s our band." "Forgive my French.....Damn. I thought maybe it could have been a lead but i guess like dozens of others I've come across, dead end. I did a quick search for Knightmare a few weeks ago and I got all excited i saw one band dressed up like monks or Druids, but that band only came out in 2017. I think it's safe to say the name has been used by many bands."
Then someone asks him: "Does the name "Battle Battalion" show up on any Metal "pedia" sites? That's what my supervisor claims this "dressed up in medieval armor" bands name was?" and another one told him: "I saw some bands with Battalion on the metal encyclopedia and discogs and none of them are our band. I don’t think we should go based on what a band wears as our lead."
Then he debunks the Knightmare (and the Conquest) lead: "So a little bit ago i mentioned a band name "Knightmare" as a possibility for this song. Well the band was actually called "KnyghtBlyde" (Knight Blade) and i got in contact with the daughter of the vocalist last night. I played this song for her and after some confliction/hesitation she said it is NOT her dad. The biggest thing was all of her dads songs were based of Aruthurian lore and filled with references to Camelot, Arthur, Morgana, Lancelot, Excalibur etc. Since this song has none of that, its not them. She has no idea who this is. I did a quick search "Conquest 80's metal band Texas" and found 3 results. Conquest from San Antonio, split in either '85 or '87. Conquest from Dallas, '86 - '90. Khan'quest (possibly same band as Khanquistador?), no location given but split up in '88 then reformed in 2000 then......nothing? I could not find anything about any of their songs or demos or releases or band members. But it's obvious I was thinking of the wrong Conquest bands 😂 Conquest was ruled out. Someone who owns the tape was contacted and told us this isn't them."
And he says the singer of KnyghtBlade is convinced this song is from Battallion:
"So a little bit ago I mentioned getting in contact with KnyghtBlyde singers daughter who states that this is NOT her dad. She contacted me this morning, her father thinks this song might be by a band called Battalion. But her father said Battalion also went by the name AAA, Anti Aircraft Assault (or Artillery) in their early days. According to her father AAA/Battalion were from Texas but at least 2 of their members were originally from Chicago. Has anyone ever heard of either Battalion or AAA, Anti Aircraft Assault? The closest I can say is my one supervisor at work mentioned a band Battle Battalion from Texas when he lived there."
Then someone replies to him: "you are right there is a band named Battalion formed in 1984" He says: "I cannot find a single piece of music from this particular "Battalion"? From what I could find they formed between 1983 and 1985, split, reformed under a few possible names, split, repeat. 2 people I asked did say they remember a band of some sort from "out west" Anti Aircraft A-something, but neither could give any info."
Now here, he suggests it could be a Talon song:
"So here's a potential lead for everyone: I was just playing this song for a friend who is obsessed with all metal music. She asked me "Where did you get that Talon song?" Talon was/is a German heavy metal band from the early 80's that released several demos and full on albums between '83-'89. Almost all of there songs were medieval themed, especially their 2 demos. Herr's the thing, they supposedly have 3 unnamed tracks from both demos, one allegedly called "King Slayer". I listened to a bunch of there songs and I have to say there are several songs where the singer sounds exactly like our mystery singer, but then the next song they sound nothing alike. There was one song called something like "Execution" that the opening guitar sounds like this songs opening only slower? I'm not saying it is Talon, but it is possibly something to look into or at least consider?"
He also claimed the singer sounds like Bruce Dickinson (which has been suggested many times):
"I've said many times that I personally feel this vocalist sounds extremely close to Bruce Dickinson. There is a clip of Bruce singing Tom Jones' "Delilah" on either a talk or game show, and his opening of that song is nearly identical to this Fall of the King vocals! Tone, tempo, cadence, pitch......it's really really on spot. I am NOT saying it is Bruce, I'm just saying whoever it is does a good job singing like him."
He says this song could be made by Eviscerator:
"Hello again everyone, has anyone ever heard of a band from Britain, late 70's through late 80's called "Eviscerator"? Very very long story short: I played this song at a Viking/Pagan/Neo-Folk/Black Metal "bar" about half a mile up the road from my place and the one patron who looked like Elvira and Lilith Bathory had a daughter together (HOT HOT HOT) comes over and asked me to replay it and she sang along with the recording with about %95 accuracy! Oddly, at the end after the 4 or 5 "The Fall of the King"s, she suddenly sang "The evil one now wears the crown, all hail the evil one" and head banged for a few moments. According to her, this song was by a band called "Eviscerator" and they always claimed this song was written as a pitch track for the movie Heavy Metal? I mentioned how this song by numerous accounts was recorded here in the USA in 86-87 from stations in Texas, Chicago, Cleveland, NYC and (by only one account) possibly Florida. She didn't feel there was an issue with that as stations will often play random things just to fill the spot including songs that are several years older. I asked about her added line at the end and she stated "I didn't add s*** bud, whoever recorded it must have cut it off before they got to it". I mentioned how numerous people strongly believe this is the work of Z'Rose, she said they probably covered it a bunch of times but it is not their song and even stated that this particular recording sounds like it could be them covering. She was more familiar with Z'Rose than me, she commented "The 3 Cavlaros brothers from Texas right? The singer was the oldest brother Jeff?" (I know that's not their name, i only included it for aunthenticity per context of our discussion, the last name is Cavazos and there was only 2 of them right?). She also told me Z'Rose had about a dozen other names through their years including "Gypsy Rose". I asked how she knew this British band "Eviscerator" and she answered that she lived in London from 78-85 and this song was played a lot on "amateur hour" on several stations, especially university stations. This kind of took me by surprise because i thought she looked younger than me (I'm 39) but she lived in England for college and her first husband in the late 70's??"
"In my last comments i mentioned a bar i went to was going to have a mini concert featuring bands that specialize in black metal and 80's tribute metal and i would play this song to see if any of the band peoples or concert goers would chime in. I did just that and got a few hits on the radar with a few of the band members. The one band, Inviaat, the singer says he remembers this song being played on a radio station in Philly PA for an entire summer because that station was trying to find the band. He does not remember the specific station but said it was near the Taylor University campus (my understanding is that there is several?) because the station thought it was the students from that university's music program. When i asked him when exactly that would have been he said Summer of 1983 because he was married on Halloween 1983 and was hoping the station would find the band so they could play at his wedding. A member from the local band "inductus Mortis" said he recalls that song being played "somewhere in the mid 80's" but does not remember if he heard it in Chicago or Cleveland because he bounced between them. I asked several bands, include the Venom tribute band Poisonous Whisper if anyone had ever heard of a band name Eviscerator from the 80's. Only one person thought he heard the name but it wasn't a band name it was a compilation album of NWOBHM from roughly '83-'84, but couldn't tell me anything other than that. As for the other concert goers, the #1 response i got from them was along the lines of "Dude you can sing, you should go pro!".....in other words they thought it was me promoting myself (I wish i could sing like that!!). the #2 response was people thought it was Manowar. After those 2 the guesses were the usual ones i have seen here and everywhere else this topic comes up: Blackmaine, Axis, Overkill, Overdrive, Black Sabath, Iron Maiden, Anthrax, Slayer, WitchAxe and 2 people even asked if it was an Ozzy Osbourne demo."
"I asked around, including my oldest sisters I've mentioned in my postings, about Eviscerator. The only person who heard of them, the one from this time-frame not the other 8 or 9 bands from the 2000's with that name, said they were a generic ManowaIron Maiden/Judas Priest tribute or more accurately, ripoff, band who sucked. I am not saying I buy this woman's account, but i'm also not discrediting it or calling her a liar. Her familiarity with this song and her accuracy with the lyrics makes me believe she knows this song from somewhere.....what that somewhere is, i can't comment because i don't know?"
"So far my friends and I have several "pings" to look into, the name Eviscerator has absolutely nothing from the time frame we're looking at. But there is (was?) a "Lee Lesaat" Canadian/British "mercenary" (did not belong to any band but would play for others) drummer who now lives in NYC my friends are looking into.
There is an 80's metal/black metal tribute concert this Saturday at the bar I was at last weekend. After the bands play their sets they have an open mic like set up where you can play your own music (as long as it fits the theme). I'm going to try and play this song and see if anyone, bands or crowd or food vendors etc, have any reaction.
And by "pings" I just mean responses/possible possible long shot leads. The guy or girl claiming to be a psychic vampire who time traveled and wrote this song for The Lost Boys movie is NOT going to be one of them😂"
Then someone asks: "What band is this Eviscerator ? I found a band that was formed in 2012 . Furthermore tthe song is not in the metal archives I searched through lyrics was not found." He says: "Allegedly they were in England in the 1980's, but the woman stated 2 of them had New York accents. If all of her account is true and accurate, they were NOT a professional big name band. I did find several bands with the title "Eviscerator" (in different variations) but all of them were from the 2000's. The only "pro" band with that title I could find was a Hungarian band from the mid 2000's. I asked Satanic lady if she remembered any of the other bands that played alongside "Eviscerator" and she only remembered 3: "Band-Shee" (an all female band....get it?) Gargoyle, and Werewolf Tears."
"I have a very very small update for everyone, but it's still an update nonetheless. The mystery succubus looking woman who said this song was by Eviscerator and sang along to it (even when I "accidentally" muted my phone to see if she was just repeating what she was hearing.....she was not) has been identified by my journalist friend! We are going to try and get in contact with her and see if there is anything else she can remember about "Eviscerator" that could help. I'm not going to get my hopes up, but her familiarity with this songs lyrics and the fact she sang almost in perfect synch with the beat makes me feel she really did know this song from somewhere in her past. That or she is a very good actress? Lol
I found only 1 solid, confirmed band with that name but they were from mid 2000's Hungary. But several peoples now and then tell me they remember hearing that name in the 80's as various things; crappy garage band, NWOHBM compilation album/work, some sort of event space or name, most recently someone claimed he thought it was the stage name of a singer but didn't know who or what band. I'm trying to get in touch with the woman who originally mentioned that name."
He posted this comment that lead nowhere: "2 very small updates for everyone:
1) The Viking/Pagan/Goth/Black Metal themed bar just around the corner from me is having a New Years event tomorrow night. They actually agree to give me a "booth" where i can have a "guess this song" set up. And, it will be right next to where the bands play...I'm going to be between the "stage" and the food truck lol
2) The one radio station i submitted this song to will play it on their "X hour" on 1/8/24. It is not a hugely popular segment, maybe a few hundred listeners, but it's better than nothing.
Here's to the New Year and hope this song and numerous others get solved!"
"So the station played this song Sunday night/Monday morning. They played it 4 times between 2:07am - 3:12am. They received 9 calls about it and about a dozen emails (I seriously didn't know they had an email!?!?!?). Unfortunately the majority of contacts were people either asking for them to replay it or people thinking it was Manowar. There were a few Iron Maidens and one or 2 Ozzy Osborne's. Only 2 people stated they heard this song before. Unfortunately they heard it from "some kilt wearing guy at blank bar plays it, I think it's him self promoting". Yes that's me they referenced and no it is not me singing lol"
He suggest matrixx as a possibility: "There's a band called matrixx that has been giving me interest. They were only around for two years due to financial struggles in their stage. If you look up attaxe and fiinal notice they share two members of matrixx. Their drummer and guitarist sound very similar to the band from this song. It's pretty crazy too because they have a song called defy the king. They also had a label to produce their songs which is called Suma Recording Studios. This may be the reason why the audio sounds too good for a small band. I hope that this is the band! Too many good clues that I found"
He debunks the Steven Lindfield lead: "One of the names thrown about here and there on posts about this song is a Steven Linfield ("Lindi") who bounced between Chicago and NYC in the 1980's. His alleged involvement varries between being the DJ who allegedly played it on a NYC station, to being a Chicago stations record manageclerk etc etc. I got in contact with him yesterday. He denies having ANYTHING to do with the airing of this song and does not know how or why his name came up. While he did work at 2 stations (NYC, then Chicago during the summer) he was an overnight watchman (security). However, he does recall this song being played on "some amateur hour crapshoot" in '86 in NYC a bunch of times. At that point in '86 he claims people were referencing it as "The King Song" or "The song of the King" (drawn out to match the singers "The Faaaalllll, the fall of the kiiiiiing") and it was already 2 or 3 years old at that time. He did explain that at least at the Chicago station there was an amateur drop-off slot that the dj's would pick through and play random "no namers" labeling them as "space filler". Because they would be played, literally just to fill space, they were NOT mandated to keep any records of them. Sometimes the dj's would just make up names to some of these. One of his main duties was to check the drop-off to make sure there were no bad things thrown in there instead of cassettes. Another dead end, but at least we rulled out one theory......silver lining??😂 LINDFIELD, not Linfield. Darn autocorrect on this phone."
He is convinced it's a professional band's demo: Thats why a lot people I have introduced to this song think it's a professional band, or at the extreme least an amateur band playing with top level equipment/sponsor? 1983 guy stated they sound like they have equipment his garage band "couldn't even afford to dream about looking at yet alone use". It's also one of the reasons my 2 oldest sisters insist this is a professional band (sister #1 says Manowar, #2 says Manowar or Sarissa) because there are no goofs or mistakes or errors. My sisters gave an example of a garage band from their Kutztown university days, "Freefall Abyss" that self released a demo and in one song you can hear a telephone ringing in the background and in another you can hear a fan or ac unit going.
He contacted a girl named Della: "This song was actually played on an old Philly/NJ station on the segment "Della names your tune" in 2009. I was able to get in contact with "Della" (real name withheld by her request) who at first stated "I played thousands of unnamed songs bud, I probably played this one 100 times, sorry i wont be much help" . Then a few days later replied "I do recall this one, it was sent in from a local listener who had it labeled as Dungeon Master or maybe Dragon Master on a CD with a bunch of old early Manowar, JudaPriest, Iron Maiden, Megadead, Metallica and AngelWitch songs. He or she claimed their father had this song on a tape from his college days. Nobody knew what or who it was back in '09 or '10 and as far as I know nobody figured it out when I left the program in '15." The only name she gave, and I don't know if this was even a real name or the drummers "stage name" was Leopald Lestat.........I do have 2 people looking into it (from a metal dating site of all places). Disclaimer: I know some of those bands are misspelled, I purposefully left it that way because that's how she sent it to me."
"I went down that road, you nailed it right on the head. There is no way to track down who that listener was. The only hint she had, in the form of the note attached to the CD was the person said they were from Radnor PA. I couldn't tell you because the other songs kind of bounce around in terms of year: there's a Judas Priest and an Angel Witch song both from 1980 but then there's a song from Megadeath (I believe Megadeath came out in '85?) and a Metallica song from '86? For some reason my one comment didn't show up? Della gave a pretty big hint, she said the mailing address on the CD was from Radnor PA, but the phone number included was a landline for a Chicago address. Her and the station managers assumed it was a "shadow number" and didn't bother keeping record of it. A lot of her requests had local addresses with out of state phone numbers, cellular and landline."
He suggests Dungeon Masters: "I have a potential lead, "Dungeon Masters" from Pittsburgh PA? Long story short: everyone at work talks about a "hot nerdy chick" who works at the one antique book store in town and she is a music genius and knows EVERY song people play. So i decided to test it. I played this song and she stated "I think thats Dungeon Masters, they were from my hometown of Pittsburgh PA back in the early to late 80's. Thats either Dungeon Masters or someone doing an incredible job imitating them?". Given that Cleveland is only a 2-3 hr drive from Pittsburgh (from what Steelers players say) i think this could be a possible lead and explain the Cleveland recording? Again, this is only a POSSIBLE lead, but i think it has potential?
Currently my one "source" is looking into it. He is not always accurate (as evidenced when we were looking into Conquest) but its better than nothing."
And someone adds this: "Della said the same Dungeon Masters so better look into it"
But he says this: "Close, "Della" stated the listener who sent in the CD had this song labeled as "Dungeon Master?", not a band name. But I am looking into it as best as I can. I found a Pittsburgh band "Dungeon" but they're NOT metal they're an Omnia/Faun like band (neo-folk I think is the term?) formed in 2018. I sent word out to the people I know and my "team". Now it is a waiting game."