Okayy, a schoolmate of mine, lets name him Boy. For context: May jowa si Boy na kaklase ng valedictorian namin. Last first quarter, before the periodical exam, nahuli yung section ng valedictorian namin na nagsesend-an ng sagot for a quiz after every reporting. Ang malala sa GC pa nila! So itong si girl (jowa ni boy) ini-ss at sinabi kay boy. Ang ginawa naman nitong si Boy bilang isang rival ni valedictorian, sinend sa subject teacher namin. Ito namang subject teacher namin sinabi sa adviser ng section ng valedictorian. Tapos bilang mahal na mahal nung adviser nila, sila, pinakausapan na lang yung subject teacher na baka may iba pang way para masolve yung issue kasi sayang daw yung matatanggal na mga honors (nasa 10 silang honor including valedictorian). Since bago pa lang yung subject teacher namin, pumayag naman at ginawa na lang zero lahat ng quiz nila. Akala namin tapos na don. Which honestly we find it unfair since it is a major offense and later on we found out na mas matataas pa grades nila sa section namin na halos perfect lagi ang quizzes. Fast Forward, before finals for our first semester, nag send ng letter (im not sure if thru fb or email ba) anonymously ang mag jowa sa lahat ng heads sa school tapos na resolve ulit ng adviser ng valedictorian. Akala namin tapos na dun. Now, weeks before our graduation naungkat uli yung issue after ilang months. The couple formally sent an email regarding this matter sa mismong principal namin. Kaya lahat ng magulang ng involve pinatawag pati magulang ng valedictorian. May sabi-sabi na yung magulang ng valedictorian will file a complaint to him. What's your thoughs about it? Kasi gets ko yung dahilan ni Boy eh.

Good morning
I’m in the process of cutting a hole for our plumber to access a drainage pipe in our ceiling that is leaking. Some of the drywall I would like to cut out and replace connects to a ceiling beam/support beam. How can I remove this section? It seems adhered to the beam by more than nails.
First time doing anything with drywall so speak to me like I’m dumb lol

So I bleed purple and gold. I love the vikes. I believe in KAM, KOC, JJ and JJ. I was born in MN but live in Seattle. I’m visiting family this week with my two year old who’s obsessed with the vikes also.
The night before we left. I dreamt we met JJ Mccarthy in the TCO parking lot. Then he invited us in to take a tour with him and meet koc and the squad. It was magical.
Because I know you miss every shot you don’t take - I dmd the vikes social team and JJ on instagram the messages below. Any redditors got a few favors they can call in. Haha. ;)
For Vikings socials -
Hi Vikings social team.
My name is Vikesfan. I’m a third generation Vikings fan. My grandfather boughtseason tickets when the Vikings first got to Minneapolis in 1960. My dad was born in 63 and grew up watching the glory days.
He used to clean the stadium for tickets as a teenager with his friends.
I’ve been bleeding purple and gold since I was born. I know the UDFAs and Beat Writers by name. I may be the Vikings biggest fan.
My two year old learned to do the skol chant before he learned to talk. Some of his very first words were ‘go Vikes’.
We all live in Seattle now (we’re going to the game on 12/22) but we’re visiting the family this week.
I love the vikes so much I’m taking my son to see TCO performance and US Bank while we’re here.
If you all are looking for some super upbeat, high energy offseason content - the three of us would be more than willing to engage with your social team. :) just throwing it out there
For JJ -
Hello JJ. My grandfather was a Vikings season ticket holder in 1960 when the Vikes expanded.
My dad used to clean the stadiums in the 70s for tickets.
I was born a Vikes fan and I have bled purple and gold since the very beginning. I hardly have ever missed a game.
My kiddo is two and some of his first words were Skol and Go Vikes. He does the Skol Chant whenever he sees purple. ;)
We live in Seattle but are visiting family this week in Minneapolis. The night before our flight. I had a dream that my son and I got to meet you at TCO this week and tour the facility with you.
We love you and believe that you’re the guy to deliver us the Super Bowl. Go get em JJ. We have faith in you.
We were planning to do some drive bys of TCO Performance and US Bank stadium for kicks tomorrow morning. I’ll be rooting for you in OTAs this week.
Love you my fellow skoldiers

Good Morning Patriots
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New England Patriots News Catchup Links - Left tackle front and center as OTAs begin

• Alexandra Francisco goes behind the scenes: Making the schedule release video of ‘Good Jules Hunting’ & ‘The Town’.
• Highlights: Behind the scenes video (8.37 min.)
• Mike Reiss shares some quick-hit weekend thoughts: Jerod Mayo’s big call - Will Drake Maye play in Week 3 prime-time game? Drew Bledsoe’s advice for Drake Maye; Will Tom Brady be calling any Pats’ games? Matt Judon next up for contract adjustment? OTAs this week, media present on Monday; Pats’ have 3 rookies at the NFLPA Rookie Premier; More.
• Steve Balestrieri’s Sunday Patriots News: Next phase of OTAs, 2024 schedule, Brissett’s key role; More.
• Ben Volin’s Sunday Football Notes: Complexity of NFL schedule makes for some strange and potentially unfair quirks
• Andy Hart’s Sunday 7: Big questions facing the Patriots as OTAs ramp up; Is there a capable, competent left tackle on the roster? More.
• Mike D’Abate tells us three things to watch for as Patriots begin OTAs: Though live contact drills are prohibited during this period, 7-on-7, 9-on-7, and 11-on-11 drills can be run; The battle for left tackle; More.
• Brian Hines identifies 7 things to watch as Patriots begin OTAs and minicamp. 1. Drake Maye and the rookies.
• Alex Barth suggests 8 things to watch during Patriots OTAs and minicamp. 1. Distribution of quarterback reps.
• Doug Kyed spotlights 6 positional battles to watch as practices start this week. QB, LT, WR, G, CB, K.
• Scott Zolak points out how the Patriots’ defense has the ability to keep them in games again.
• Andy Hart says the Drake Maye Watch is officially underway. The starting QB job in New England is Drake Maye’s, the only question is when he takes the spot from Jacoby Brissett.
• Nick O’Malley talks about Drake Maye making his first appearance in a Patriots uniform.
• Mike D’Abate reposts the photo of Patriots rookie Drake Maye and Tom Brady posing for a photo at the NFLPA Rookie Premiere.
• Karen Guregian says the NFL schedule makers make it obvious what their view of the Patriots is.

I have been taking L-theanine first thing in the morning and having coffee, this was based on something I read here and how it worked for another redditor. I do feel calm, but noticed the last two days, shortness of breath, gassy and when I burp I feel better, it starts to get better later in the day?
Could it be the timing? Taking it on empty stomach? Or the due to quality of the product/capsule. ( nutricost brand)
Thoughts?

Hi , please help me guys I really need help
First of all don't judge me i know i did alot of wrong things
Sorry my English is not my first language
I knew someone online, as a FWB then i loved him so much in literally a week he was so my type he pay me so much attention and he is the one who said like I've never felt like this with anyone else before i told him that i have feelings for him and actually i send him pics of other girl not me and it's been year and a half on a lie i aslo lied about other BIG stuff i'm so shy to tell you guys but it is the worst thing ive ever done in my life .. i actually don't like to do sexual things with someone i'm not in a relationship with so I wasn't comfortable after a week i told him sorry but I can't he told me we can be friends but i just told him no I can't.. as you know guys i was so attached ive never felt like that with anyone before him I didn't knew these feelings existed so i was stalking him one day after i left him and i saw that he made a new account for like you know sexual things he talked to other girls I knew I don't have the right to be mad cs i left him but I thought he had the same feelings as me so i felt so sick like ive never felt like I want to be buried rn that bad so I talked to him and he closed his account (ugh thinking of that really break my heart) but he reopened it lol . Anyways we talked again from dec 2022 till now on these days he told me don't follow me on insta I don't want my family see that there's a girl " it's a culture thing so I respected that " anyways i saw there was a girl following him then figured out she's his ex i told him why and blah blah he told me none of your business we were in a call and i was crying lol and he didn't care . Also he asked me for money for several times like I realised he is using me he don't care he just want my money. And i am so clear person i told him what bothers me i told him i would love to help you if you needed anything but you asking me money to buy vape??grow up like youre 27 and im 21 and you asking me for money? He's not working btw that's why but i told him i can help ypu to find a jop last night i was so depressed like deeeply depressed so i kept sending him texts from the morning he didn't answer then he called me asking for money so i'm so confused what to do . I give him multiple of gifts he didn't even open the las gift i gave him I actually didn't ask him but he told oh btw I didn't opened it yet lol .
I know i lied to him about the pics i send isn't me and i know that i lied about other stuff but i loved him so bad guys i really do love him whenever we talk i feel like everything is so calm and peaceful .
I left him alot of times like more than 20 times then come back again.
But now i feel dissociation from my real life he is my FP and i think of him all the time but everything i tell him is a lie like idk why i lie i actually don't even the simple things guys I don't why i do that but i feel like now i have to lives? Whenever i sit at home and realise that my life is not like anything i tell him i feel depressed and idk it's a weird feeling.
Now i lied to him agian😔 so i can really let him go i told him i'm in the hospital I can't talk to you blah blah idk when i can come home etc .
At the end it's a online long distance relationship and i know he doesn't care but I don't know if did the wrong thing now ? And how can accept everything? It's like a truma i did it to myself.

I 27(F) am married to my husband 30(M) , and e are expecting our first child together ( I’m due for delivery in 6 weeks ) . To add some context before I get to the part of the story with my hubby , I had a relationship many years ago with another man who had a porn addiction . I’m not talking about it once a day I’m talking about hours and hours a day he would spend watching porn . I caught him the one night ( as he always stayed up later than me - until like 3am before coming to bed ) . During his late hours at night he had been watching porn ( and some really weird shit too ) . It inevitably caused so many trust issues with us that I became obsessed with checking his phone . I even had his Google accounts logged into on my phone so I could check his history ( without him knowing - this drove me insane ) . Fast forward years forward to now where I am married and with somebody else , I have on countless occasions had this conversation with my husband and have gone into great detail about how my past ex had really affected my ability to trust men .
So let’s get to the rest of the story , this week we were at my mothers house sitting , husband had been gone all day working and when he came home he made a few “ jokey” comments about getting it on and I remember replying saying “ maybe later “ .
An hour later he went for a shower and I went to go check up on him and ask if I could dish his food up .. I opened the door and bam ( there he was helping himself and eyes closed … didn’t even notice me there . I watched in horror for atleast 10 seconds before I made a noise ) . Obviously I freaked out …. We ended up talking later the night and he said he did it to relieve himself and maybe it would help him last for longer when we did it later …. Mmmkaay
Then literally this morning I just had an incling to check husbands phone, I went onto one of his social media pages and checked his recent watch activity . Just to find countless videos of other girls doing sexual activities …. Like 7 videos was of the same girl with her breasts doing certain things to other body parts ( I’m really trying not to give to many descriptive words here ) then below those 7 videos is another 10 watched videos of a girl in cosplay outfits ( which I have seen her content before on accident so I knew exactly what it was that he was watching ) .
I stormed into our bedroom and told him to wake and threw his phone at him . I had on countless occasions asked him not to watch porn or videos and if he does he should do it when he is in his own private space ( not my parents house ) and when I’m not at home just out of respect . To make matters worse my husband and I have a very active sex life ( every 2 days basically ) and yet it still seems not enough to satisfy him .
I’m honestly just so hurt and disgusted , so am I the asshole for considering to divorce my husband ?
I know to some this might seem silly but I just feel so unheard , disrespected, gaslighted . He merely apologised and then continued to try and deny or explain his actions and I’m just so tired of it .
I’m also pregnant and very sensitive at the moment so I don’t know if. I’m being ridiculous or not .
Just some extra notes : My husband and I normally have a very good relationship and haven’t really had any other issues except this one thing .
He always spoils me, treats me like a queen and has such a soft heart . We have been together for3 years now ( married for 2 ) .
Please can I just get some advice

Written by both Heidi and Lita. Lita has to leave early for her internship so Heidi is posting this.
We had a very long, difficult, and important conversation with our mothers last night. We are posting this with their permission, hoping that it might help others like us.
It's hard for us to imagine any other 16-year-olds having a more wonderful year than we have had. How many people find their life partners at our young age? We trained our bodies, dove into our respective art forms, gained insight into our future careers, earned/saved a lot of money, made many friends, explored Buddhism, and joined two families into one.
But we were building a new family on a foundation of deceit and this is what had to change. Back to our conversation.
"We had led you to believe we met at school volleyball team practice back in September. We told you we discovered our soulmates and we were queer. From there we lived hard and well, became a family of six, and then everything else followed. We don't regret a second.
"We just left out one fact...we met and began our relationship one year earlier when we were in 9th grade. We had kept it secret from you. Sound familiar? It is like the story of Emma Nolan and Alyssa Greene in The Prom."
It is hard to describe the look in their eyes. We saw disbelief, shock, hurt, anger, and mostly a sense of betrayal.
Muma: How did you really meet?
Lita: Actually, we told you the story. In fact, we have been leaving clues all over the place kind of hoping we would be discovered.
Heidi: This goes back to September 2022. I was on the crosstown bus. I saw some boys get on. One stayed in the front and the others placed themselves in the aisle going down. The boy in the front grabbed a girl's phone and they passed it to each other. The boy at the end got the phone and walked out of the rear door. I had seen the entire thing and just followed him. He thought he had committed the perfect crime and I approached him. "I saw everything. I know your face, what you are wearing, and your sneakers. I know your friends. Give me the phone and I won't say a word." He did. I walked back to the bus and there was the girl with the bus driver and a couple of cops at the side of the bus. She was sobbing and they were trying to comfort her. I went up, told them what had happened, and gave her the phone back.
Mom: I remember the story. And you are saying that the girl you helped was Lita.
Muma: And the little heroine you told Pupa and me about was Heidi?
Lita: Yes. I was an absolute wreck, completely unconsolable. I felt violated and humiliated. The girl grabbed me by the arm and simply said "Come, let's sit down." She brought me to a cute ice cream restaurant she knew near Bloomingdale's. What's your favorite flavor? I said Plain Vanilla. What's yours? Chocolate. We looked at each other's skin and just had to laugh.
Heidi: I can't describe how I was feeling while we eating ice cream. Waves and waves and waves of emotions hit me.
Lita: All I could do was look Heidi in the eyes and hold her hand.
Mom: I remember that story very clearly.
Lita: We exchanged numbers and IG. Then came texts, calls, secret hookups, the first kiss, and the rest.
Heidi: It was like The King And I, "Hello Young Lovers."
Lita: It was High School Admissions time and I encouraged Heidi to audition for LaGuardia for the 10th grade.
Mom: So that was what that was all about?
Muma: But I don't understand why you felt a need to keep your relationship a secret for an entire year!
This was really the hardest part of the conversation. We talked about all the emotions we were experiencing. What, we are in love? We are lesbians? We are sneaking behind our parents' backs? We are watching lesbian porn and acting it out? What, I am with a black/white girl? All this shame at once and we couldn't figure a way out until Girls Volleyball. We even left some hints on this blog in case you read it.
Muma: What is most painful to me is that this was the time you needed your mothers the most and you went through the entire year all alone.
We are four strong woman. We were at a place far beyond "How dare you? This has to end. You are grounded. Scotland is off." There was thoughtful silence, long looks into each other's eyes, and then cuddling on the couch and watching The Good Doctor.
We all had the same thought. How are we going to tell Dad and Pupa?

Thou shalt daily prepare a burnt offering unto the LORD of a lamb of the first year without blemish: thou shalt prepare it every morning.And thou shalt prepare a meat offering for it every morning, the sixth part of an ephah, and the third part of an hin of oil, to temper with the fine flour; a meat offering continually by a perpetual ordinance unto the LORD

Morning,
I'm looking for some help figuring out what date I will get my first LCWRA payment.
From looking at a few posts I figured a few things you may need to know.
My Assessment period is 10th - 11th
I uploaded my first fit note on 1st March 2024.
I was referred to the Work Capability Assessment on the 4th of March
I got the letter finding out I got LCWRA on 25th April
I posted the health questionnaire on the 12th of March
I get paid on the 17th
Any help is greatly appreciated, thanks!

Hong Kong Dharma Talk by Master Lu
2016-07-03
Editor’s note: Dharma Master Jun Hong Lu has a powerful Dharma eye. He can clearly diagnose karma sources by reading the patient’s totem. The participants ask questions at the Dharma Convention, and Master Lu answers them by reading their totems. For living individuals, please tell Master Lu their zodiac and birth year; for deceased individuals, please tell Master Lu their names and death year. Master Lu will acquire their totems through these messages. By reading their totems, Master Lu will find the causes of their illness, helping them treat their diseases.
Patient's wife: This is my husband. He was born in 1969, and his zodiac sign is a rooster. Since being diagnosed with ALS in 2013, he has lost all mobility in his limbs.
Master Lu: No strength in the waist, the whole spine looks like completely paralyzed.
Patient's wife: Yes.
Master Lu: Ouch! Two spirits are pulling him, two rope-like wires pulling his waist, just pulling it upward, so he often gets cramps.
Patient's wife: Yes, yes.
Master Lu: He can still live for one year and three months. You have to tell him to change himself and recite Buddhist scriptures well. I'm telling you, he's here to pay his debt. This is his mother, isn't it?
Patient's wife: His mother.
Master Lu: You tell his mother to recite Buddhist scriptures for him properly. He is here to pay off his karmic debt, and he will be passing away very soon, so you have to recite the Little House to him now. His mother was very strict with him since he was a child, scolding and beating him constantly. Your mother-in-law is very fierce. As soon as the debt is paid off, he will pass away. Thus, I told you (the audience in the convention hall) to take it easy on yourselves about everything. Even if you know that your wife owes you debt, you should not force her to desperately pay. Many wives say, "Ouch, my husband owes me." They abuse their husbands every day, and one day the husband runs away because it's paid off. Do you understand?
Patient's wife: Understand.
Master Lu: You tell his mother to recite the Little House for him every day, a total of 384 sheets, this is the first set so far.
Patient's wife: I have already burned 800 Little House for his karmic creditors, and released 7000 fish.
Master Lu: Well, he's getting a little better. You tell him to take calcium tablets, and eat lecithin. Also, he has poison in his body and is often constipated.
Patient's wife: Yes, yes.
Master Lu: His brain is often messed up.
Patient's wife: Yes, yes, yes.
Master Lu: He often has painful feelings. Keep his mother from bothering him. What do you know, granny? You cast spell over his head, as if you were really doing something. Do you want me to get rid of your soul ah?
Patient's wife: She didn't learn any spells.
Master Lu: You see she just scratched over her son's head like this. Don't scratch, do you understand? Really, alas! (He) owes her. Do you know who his mother's face looks like, do you know? Like an official of the underworld ah? I tell you, (the mother) is to ask for debts. When her son is about to pay off his debt, he will be taken away. (The mother is) very powerful. Alas, you just let fate take its course. In your family, mother has the highest status, and the second is your husband, you are the third.
Patient's wife: Yes yes.
Master Lu: If you have a dog in your family, you will become the fourth. Do you understand? Recite Buddhist scriptures properly!
Patient's wife: Master, how many more Little Houses do we need to recite for him? How many fish to liberate for him?
Master Lu: 18,000 fish.
Patient's wife: Okay.
Master Lu: Continue reciting Little Houses for him until you reach the target of about 890 sheets.
Patient's wife: Now we have finished 800 sheets.
Master Lu: Keep reciting until he recovers. He will be able to stand up later, but he is weak and needs crutches.
Patient's wife: Okay.
Master Lu: If reciting Buddhist scriptures well he can stand up. No big problem. He just has a severe atrophy.
Patient's wife: Yes, yes, yes.
Master Lu: His muscles are all atrophied. With time, all muscles will completely close up.
Patient's wife: He is now having difficulty swallowing, and eating is a problem.
Master Lu: There is a way to help him. Serve him great compassion water every morning, and then ask his mother to give him a throat massage by hand. When you do massage for your husband, you recite the Great Compassion Mantra. Every time he can not swallow, you do massage for him with your mouth reciting the Great Compassion Mantra. You try, each time you can help him to be able to swallow. This is a temporary solution.
Patient's wife: Okay, thank you, Master!
Statement by translator
The dialogue was translated from Chinese into English by meaning, not word by word. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the Chinese version, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
2016年7月3日 中国香港《玄艺综述》大型现场解答会看图腾
病人妻子：这是我的丈夫。他是1969年属鸡的，2013年医院检查出渐冻症，现在已经发展到四肢没有任何的活动能力。
台长师父：腰没有力量，整个脊背完全瘫掉一样。
病人妻子：对。
台长师父：哎哟！两个灵性拉他的，两根绳子一样的铁丝拉他的腰，就是往上牵，所以他经常会抽筋。
病人妻子：是的是的。
台长师父：他还能活一年零三个月。你要叫他变化，好好地念经。我告诉你，他是来还债的。这是他妈妈是吧？
病人妻子：他妈。
台长师父：你叫他妈好好帮他念经，这个孩子是来还债的，他很快就要走的，所以你现在要给他念小房子。妈妈从小对他很严格，骂啊、打啊什么都要做的。你这个婆婆很厉害的，还完了，这个孩子就走掉了。所以我叫你们自己什么事情要悠着点，就是知道这个老婆来还债的，你也不要怎么样，就是知道怎么样，你也不要拼命地去叫人家还。很多老婆说：“哎哟，我老公欠我的。”对他整天不好、整天不好，到最后有一天老公跑掉了，因为还完了。听得懂吗？
病人妻子：明白了。
台长师父：你叫他妈妈每天要念小房子，一共要念384张，这是目前第一拨。
病人妻子：我已经为他烧送了800张小房子了，放生7000条鱼。
台长师父：嗯，他好了一点点。你叫他要吃钙片，还要叫他吃卵磷脂。还有他身上有毒，经常便秘。
病人妻子：是的是的。
台长师父：脑子已经经常转不过弯来。
病人妻子：对对对。
台长师父：经常有痛苦感觉，叫他的妈妈不要再乱弄他了。你懂什么，老婆婆？还要搞这种法术呢，头上拉拉下来，像真的一样，你要不要我把你魂弄掉啊？
病人妻子：她没学什么法术。
台长师父：你看她刚才在她儿子头上这么抓。不要抓，听得懂吗？真的，唉！欠她的。你知道他妈妈……你看看他妈妈的脸像谁，你们知道吗？像不像地府的官啊？我告诉你，就是来要债，把她儿子弄弄弄，还债，还得差不多了，把他带走。很厉害的，弄到最后还是她。你就是……唉，你就随缘吧，你就这种孩子了，没办法。你们家里，老大是他妈，老二是你老公，你是老三。
病人妻子：是的是的。
台长师父：如果你们家再养条狗，你就变老四了。听得懂吗？好好念经了！
病人妻子：师父，我们再为他念多少小房子？放多少鱼？
台长师父：放18000条鱼。
病人妻子：好的。
台长师父：小房子要帮他不停地念，最后大概要念到890张。
病人妻子：现在已经达到800张了。
台长师父：还要念，念到他好。他以后能站起来，但是浑身无力，要拄拐棍的。
病人妻子：好的。
台长师父：他如果好好念经，能站起来的，没什么大问题，他只是萎缩症很厉害。
病人妻子：对对对。
台长师父：他的肌肉都在萎缩，萎缩到后来完全收起来了。
病人妻子：他现在的吞咽都很困难，吃饭都成问题了。
台长师父：有一个方法，每天早上给他喝大悲水，然后叫他妈妈给他做手部按摩。你给你老公做，手部按摩的时候给他念《大悲咒》，每一次吞不下去，你就手帮他这里按摩，嘴巴里念《大悲咒》。你试试看，每一次帮你叫他吞得下去，这是暂时的办法。
病人妻子：好的，感恩师父！
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Last night my RBR750/RBS750 notified me of an update so I ran the update. Then nothing would connect. This morning powered down everything and restarted in sequence (internet modem first then Orbis then devices) and devices still don't get internet. Grr. Adding IoT channel in the Orbi update seems cool, but not if it breaks all my existing connections. Ain't nobody got time for this, Orbi!

The first time I made a real close friendship was in middle 7th grade they were 2 best friends we were talking all day and night even studying together but suddenly after we finished 8th grade they started ignoring me maybe because of my anger issues and rudeness when I was talking about the abuse in my house they thought I'm way too crazy so they dumped me now I'm now in first year of since 9th grade I haven't find any friends in school or online idk why but whenever I talk to someone they're really weird or narcissistic psychopaths I live in a third world corrupted country and I think it's normal for society in this type of countries to be ignorant and immoral but it's crippling I really don't know what to do I reached my peak since the last 2 months I can't get no more than 5 hours of sleep I smoke a lot of cigarettes and some days I don't even sleep at all, I tried to make my brain just forget about all the suffering and problems but YouTube and movies are always talking about brain rotting politics or violence and crime, I always seek socializing but no one likes me and it's too late already it ate up all of my brain I was a smart and fast thinker in middle school I learned English with my friends in middle school in 2 years to the point where we can listen to English songs and understand the lyrics without translation or turning the subtitles on but since they left me I can't learn anything I can't study I can't work I can't sleep it's my fault that I just tried to look for people like them I should have looked for people who are more like me but it's too late and I have just realized lately. 2 full months of insomnia and I really can't figure out who am I or what do I want or what are my interests even if right now if someone just texted me and told I'm like you or I just had a perfect friend I don't know what to say to them it's like I'm socially and mentally dead from the dry and cruel life I'm suffering from insomnia and my family doesn't care they speak loudly, shout and slam doors when I try to catch some sleep (btw I'm so sorry if I can't write correctly I can't focus at all) now the real point is that I'm asking you what is this feeling is my brain damaged or am I just dead does it have a name is it a mental disorder or is it what 5 years of no talking with people do to you when you're still growing up

(Seeking opinions based on personal experience, not diagnosis)
Long story short: I've had Sebhorric dermatitis and eczema flares since teen years. The past month I've had two random allergic like reactions presenting on my face (eye swelling/hot and red face/rash on neck).

• The first instance, the doctor suggested it likely wasn't allergy if I hadn't changed anything and said that (what I thought was adult acne) was in fact rosacea and he thought this allergic looking reaction was actually a rosacea flare. He prescribed doxycycline.
• I've been on doxycycline and the pustules have improved, but yesterday morning I had another "flare" (pictured). The doc has doubled down on it being rosacea and has prescribed 1% Ivermectin Cream.

Question: Is there any one who has experienced this kind of flare up? I don't think the doctor is wrong but I haven't been able to find anything similar to this when looking at rosacea stuff online.

I grew up in a small town in Florida. I remember close to nothing about my childhood and honestly, I feel like my brain started producing memories near the 10th grade (I'm 19 and graduated now). I've been in a handful of relationships (2 long distance, 1 not) and each time I feel like I've pressured myself into saying "I love you" in pursuit of chasing some Disney channel love story fantasy. I don't really know what it means to truly love someone if I'm being honest. We usually say those words to our parents to show endearment, but I don't, or at least haven't for as long as I can remember. I don't know what it means to love someone. My family is very small (Mother, Grandmother, Sister) All of my other family members either passed or just really aren't in the picture. My grandmother isn't all there mentally anymore and my sister lives across the country and she's high 98% of the time. So its really just me and my mother here. My mother isn't a person you talk to about things. The typical responses are "suck it up" "be a man" "boo hoo" or any other way to belittle what I feel or what I say. She's been like that since I was a kid. So I don't really have any connections or people to talk to since I've graduated last year. I've been stuck in this house for upwards of 5 months now, I've been filling out job applications like crazy and luckily I have a job orientation later this week. At my previous job, I met this girl. Long story short, she ended up confessing to me on her way out after her shift. When I was younger, I grew up "ugly" it wasn't until 11-12 grade when I got my growth spurt and became who I am now and it took until the end of my senior year to learn how to dress, so at school I wasn't getting any play, only after highschool was I talking to women. That was the first time a woman had confessed to me like that. I knew I was able to be found attractive and to be liked, but never loved. Eventually down the line she had said she loved me, and of course I said it back, but I didn't mean it. After she had said that, the only thing I could think is "why me?" "Why some kid from nowhere Florida". I don't even have a license, my mother was driving me to work, and this woman says she loves me? Really? I had became absorbed in thoughts of not being enough, of not being worth it. Love is one of the strongest words we hold as people, and she used it on me. Doesn't loving someone mean they're at the center of your world? They're the reason you get up every day? The reason you go to work, or take a shower, or get dressed? I can't comprehend that. I shouldn't have that amount of power over a person. I shouldn't mean that much to a person. It was all I could think. I'd ask her why she loves me and she'd say "I don't know, I just feel it" and sometimes I'd say "I don't know why you love me so much" and she'd say "You dont need to know" which in retrospect, maybe she actually did love me, but why? Eventually I started telling myself that she was just lying to me for some external reason, and combined with the shitty dating world we live in-in 2024 it was very easy to convince myself of that. Eventually I ended things. Explaining to her that I don't know what it means to love someone and that I have to work on myself. I just. I don't know. I'm tired.

My psychiatrist was supposed to review me because I've just started lamictal. He left and I have to accept my new psychiatrist but then I won't see him until the 20th of September. I'm afraid the lamictal will send me manic. I'm supposed to be trying to come off the quetiapine and going onto something else so I can wake up early enough to get to morning lectures as I'm going into my final year of university and my grades matter most then. I don't know what to do because if the lamotrigine triggers mania I won't be very aware of it and I don't want to go to hospital just because the lamotrigine has sent me manic. I'm tired of feeling like a zombie but at the same time I domt want to relapse. I really don't know what to do. I'm running out of my lamictal and I have to wait 72hrs for a new prescription... guessing that will be Friday and I'll be like ughh because I have volunteering that day now I might be late. I'm literally panicking. How am I supposed to start a new medication when I can't even see a doctor to talk about if it suits me and whether to add something else in. I haven't even got my anxiety under control and this is just making it worse. I honestly can't wait to go out tomorrow and buy myself a new build a bear and base it of a character from a british TV show... any advice? I felt like yelling at the receptionist but I didn't. She's nice but I wish My psychs wouldn't just leave me like this. No one even tells me when they leave. I'm just so tired of it. I dont know what to do. I'm gonna be out of lamictal for like 2 days then I'm hoping to get it increased a little bit to see if it will let me feel anything. I'm still on promethazine for anxiety which I'm trying to take as little as possible. I'm so stuck at this point. I'm not even sure what to do with myself. I kinda wanna get a service dog because at least then if I have another episode my dog should be able to tell me. Just as I was finally getting somewhere.... I don't even wake up to an alarm. Honestly what am I supposed to do?

Some pretext: We’re 6 months into our relationship, and I feel like we both love each other more than anything. We met for the first time in her country last month and it was the best time of our lives.
Issue: I’ve been trying to implement fun things we can do over video calls, so I told her that I wanted to have a home-cooked meal date night where we cook on camera and show our recipes to each other. She completely slept through the date time without giving me any heads up that she couldn’t make it. Now, she really does slept a ton and because of certain medication she’ll be out for a while. She fell asleep well before our date time, didn’t set an alarm, and slept through it. I’m disappointed, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. So I sent her flowers yesterday morning, said I missed her the previous night, and told her let’s have it tonight instead (last night). She misses it again, last text sent about 45 minutes before our date time, and doesn’t give me any notice or update to believe that she’d miss it this time. Of course I’m upset and mad in the moment. I wait 3 hours and she finally texts me, saying that she’s been getting really bad period pain and that she had her girlfriend come over to help her. Well, it is that time of the month for her. But she had the time to text her friend to come over, she’s up, she knows she’s missing this date, and can’t even send me a single message to tell me she can’t make it or explain why in a timely manner? Like I understand that things come up, but I also feel disrespected and hurt here. And I don’t know if I should be more understanding, or if it’s valid to feel like “Hey, this lack of communication is really hurting me and you need to have the courtesy to let me know you can’t do things we planned.”

Hi folks,
Longtime lurker and first-time poster here. I need a (relatively) unbiased perspective on something that happened last night with my girlfriend.
For context, things between us have been touch and go for the past two months. A combination of issues we had when we first started dating resurfacing and long-distance (she's been working out of the country since March but will be back in about ten days) has made it hard to soothe each other during such times.
Things yesterday were more than okay. Actually, they were great. The warmth that we had at the start of the year when she was still here was back. She was affectionate, loving, cracking jokes, smiling, laughing, etc. I felt great. We decided to prepare dinner together that night on FaceTime, and things were going stellar.
Until she was jokingly telling me to stop singing this one song that she hated and I told her "to relax" in a non-serious tone. I instantly went, "Oh shit haha I'm so sorry, don't take my head off," because I remembered how she hates it when someone tells her to "relax." She clapped back, saying, "Haha don't tell me to relax, I'll fucking punch you in the face." And that is when I got pissed.
I'm a sensitive guy. I always have been. It is something that has caused me a lot of anguish in my previous relationship because I can very quickly get upset about small things. For some reason, I've always had an issue with this kind of language in relationships. Violence. Do I think my girlfriend would actually punch me in the face? Of course not. But for whatever reason, I've always been hyper-sensitive to this kind of talk. I also despise it when anyone goes for my face in a joking manner, whether it's some rough housing with my dad or my friends, or my significant other jokingly giving me a couple of taps on the face.
I've never been physically abused in my life. My parents never laid a hand on me. I've never been physically bullied, either. So I really don't know where this aversion to physical or verbal jokes of this kind comes from.
I got a little pissed. I didn't shout, scream, or throw a tantrum. But I was visibly upset. She asked me why I was so pissed since she was clearly joking and said she would never actually punch me. I said I don't like that kind of language being thrown around even as a joke, to which she said, "Who hurt you?"
She went on to say that if this triggered a soft spot because of something that happened to me, I should communicate that to her. But I can't expect her to understand that if I've never told her. I said nothing happened to me. I've never been physically abused, so there's no "trauma" underlying it. It's just something I don't enjoy. No need to overanalyze it.
That sentence kicked my anger up a few notches. I guess reflecting on it, it felt invalidating. It frustrated me. I said, "Who hurt me? Do you really want to take it there? Is that how you want to handle this?"
I was pretty sure I knew why that sentence hurt me. I was in an emotionally abusive, toxic relationship for five years with a borderline narcississt. My girlfriend knows this. She knows how bad it was. And I guess the crass nature of the 'who hurt you?' comment reminded me of a time earlier in my relationship with my current girlfriend where we were having an argument and she said, "Do I have to treat you like shit to have you?" Which was a clear reference to my previous relationship. She has since apologized for that comment, after I told her how profoundly invalidating and wrong it is to say something like that.
The thing is. My girlfriend has a tendency to say things that come off as rude, hurtful, or invalidating when she's upset. And I think this whole situation triggered that fight or flight response after the 'Who hurt you?' debacle.
Back to the current issue....
I was flooded, so I told her I'd call her back after I've cooled off. I took five minutes to relax and then called her back. I apologized for my "overreaction" to her joke and explained to her that generally, I don't enjoy these kinds of jokes.
She went on to say that she finds me getting upset at something like this, to the degree that I did get upset, "kind of ridiculous."
I told her I understand. I said it was unfair to get roused up like that. I told her it's all water under the bridge now and I know she didn't mean anything she said seriously. I reiterated that I don't appreciate these kinds of jokes and that I don't think it's a big ask not to make them in our relationship. She agreed.
After we spoke about it, I couldn't shake the feeling that her telling me my reaction was "ridiculous" and me doubling down by saying it was "unfair" to her was, in reality, unfair to me, and invalidating for me.
Either way, it seemed like the damage was done, though. She was cold for the rest of the night while we watched something on Netflix. The jokey, smiling, sensual person that was there a few minutes ago was replaced by a cold, frustrated, avoidant person. Things were just lukewarm for the rest of the night. She was back to feeling super anxious about all the things we were going through and I was back to feeling like garbage. My anxiety was through the roof. My heart was beating like I was running away from a tiger. I felt sick to my stomach.
I wanted to beat myself up to a pulp. My internal monologue went straight into self-hatred mode. "Why are you like this? This is all your fault. Things were fine, but your sensitive, fragile ass just had to have a moment, right? You couldn't just enjoy the present moment. You couldn't take two seconds to calm your nervous system down before overreacting. Now she probably feels like she has to walk on eggshells around you. She probably thinks you're a baby. You're not a real man. A real man wouldn't throw a childish tantrum like this over a silly fucking joke. You just gave her the ick. You triggered her, and now she's anxious and feeling like crap, and so are you. You just can't have nice things, can you? You have to self-sabotage, don't you?"
I didn't give into the monologue. I took ten minutes to record a voice note to myself, speaking to myself as though I was a friend. I told myself that while I may have overreacted, I did the right thing by taking accountability and apologizing. I also reminded myself that what I had done was far from a "tantrum." I didn't scream, shout, break stuff, or name-call. I didn't blame her, hold it against her for the rest of the night, or stonewall.
The issue that I am dealing with and have always dealt with in these situations is the intense feelings of shame and guilt that come about after these moments. In addition, I feel like I can never truly validate my feelings. Sure, I recorded that voice note as an exercise to try to rewire that awful, abusive self-talk in my head, but I still felt like the whole situation was entirely my fault. I still sort of blame myself for how she is feeling now. I blame myself for disrupting a moment of peace and well-being in our relationship. And I also know that I am prone to self-sabotage, so that makes it even more difficult to find the middle ground between taking responsibility for my actions and validating my feelings.
Was I being extra? Was I really overreacting? Is my insecure attachment causing me to overanalyze or interpret my girlfriend's actions after the initial episode I had? Did she really invalidate how I was feeling by asking the "who hurt you?" question in a somewhat sarcastic way as well as telling me that it was ridiculous of me to get angry at such a thing? Was I really being unfair to her by reacting how I did? Is my nervous system just picking up on a pattern of invalidating behaviour and the anger after the 'who hurt you?' comment is a natural reaction to that? It is the morning after that situation, and I am feeling rather distant towards her. I feel almost sick in my stomach. As though I'm seeing a side to her that I shouldn't ignore. But again, I think as people with insecure attachments we have this tendency to either put people on an insane pedestal to which they will inevitably fall short of or label any behaviour as a 'red flag'.
I'm not looking for a pity party. I want honest opinions, please. If I was really in the wrong, I want to hear that perspective.
TL;DR:
Things have been touch and go with my girlfriend due to resurfacing issues and long-distance challenges. Last night on FaceTime, she joked about punching me in the face, which upset me as I'm sensitive to violent language. I expressed my discomfort, and she responded with a sarcastic "who hurt you?" This reminded me of a past abusive relationship. I took a break to calm down and apologized, but she called my reaction "ridiculous." She became cold afterward, making me anxious and self-critical. Now, I feel conflicted, wondering if my reaction was an overreaction or if her responses were invalidating. Am I overanalyzing due to my insecure attachment style, or is this a red flag? Seeking honest opinions.

I honestly just don’t get it. sure porn was interesting to look at while i was a budding and horny teen just buying my first vibe, or just giving oral for the first time, but i truly can say i have no interest in anything; porn, other men/partners, whatsoever since i have been in this relationship. i’m 21, so i’m pretty young. i have gained a good bit of weight since we have been together, maybe 20-15 pounds, but he insists he still loves the way i look and that i am perfect. I’m just wondering what, if i am “perfect” there is to gain from porn?? why he is looking at OF leaks on reddit on his break, saving them while he’s in a drive through line, why he’s searching on some dodgy porn site for leaked content less than 10 minutes after we have sex while i am in the bathroom? our first d-day was a good while ago, around late august of last year. we have definitely had more, and while things have gotten marginally better, my one boundary is still not being respected. i even relented that he could still watch porn, but that’s o was not at all comfortable with him consciously seeking out individual women to look at— especially when those women look like everything i would have nearly died to look like at one point. one girl he even knew in person. since maybe the 3rd dday (novemberish) he deleted his “photo vault/spank bank” but i still find myself looking up the women i found on ig and comparing myself to what it is that he actually likes — what actually gets him off. our sex life has suffered, which i feel probably leads him more to porn and other self fulfilling methods.
04/16/24 i wrote that march 18th and to be quite honest, as I sit here mid april in the middle of the night, nothing has changed. I went through his phone again (pain shopping i know i know) after i glimpsed a porn site open while looking at his tax forms and closing his open apps (as i always do). i think i even made a comment about pretending that I didn’t see the porn/naked body on his screen. But I did. So now I sit here, sobbing next to him in bed at 3am while he snores and feeling again like the little girl who just wanted to be the first choice, not a compromise someone settles on. So now I sit here, wondering what is next, who is next, and how I change myself in order to ‘help’ him get away from porn. you see if i looked like the girls he wanted of course he wouldn’t need the others. So now I sit here, fighting the urge to make myself purge for the first time in years, to be closer to that image he so desperately needs, and cannot get from me. i sit thinking of the girl who so dearly wanted to be like the others, the ones who didn’t develop early, or later, the ones who didn’t have abnormally large boobs, just a cute butt and a flat flat stomach. the girl who just wanted to be loved so badly; who craved it as a child and can never seem to achieve it as an adult.
05/20/2024 the first week of may i cried myself to sleep every night. two of those i sobbed so hard he woke up. i don’t know what to do anymore. i grabbed his phone again today, after he had been to the bathroom for an extended amount of time with no shower running, and lo and behold! of course, there it was. every single time without fail. i just don’t know what to do. i want to look like those girls he looks at. i want to throw up my meals and workout relentlessly. i want to shrink my boobs and grow my ass. i want to be tiny again. i want to never eat again. i want him to physically see his harm change me— just as it has forever changed me mentally. i have cut myself down to around 1400 calories daily, with daily exercise of course as well. but even if i lose weight it will still not be enough. i haven’t been going to the gym for years and meal prepping and eating specifically. i fear i will never look like who he prefers. writing this, i want to claw anything ive ever eaten out of my body, i want to go back in time and tell younger me to work out, to care. i want to be pretty again, to stay pretty this time. i know anyone would tell me to break up and to leave, to put myself first, but i cant. i have never loved someone so hugely and completely. i know that i will most likely never have the strength to leave someone who i love, and despite everything, does/did love me in my eyes. at the same time i dont know how to look at him anymore. tonight i went and looked at every girl i could remember him looking at and searched them on instagram. there were 15 of them. i think i may send their profiles all at once to him in the morning when he wakes up. maybe even right in front of him— just to see his reaction. is that sick of me? i just want him to know that i know, and that honestly its ruining my life. i never feel pretty. I have never felt so ugly, so hideous, so monstrous, that my own boyfriend can’t even get off to me. sometimes i can’t even look at him. it hurts too much. i’m worried that if he looks at me too long that he will find something else that he dislikes about me, and look even more to rectify that in yet another woman. i almost wish he would find this and magically know this was about us, not that it would solve anything really. I have already poured my heart out, spoken calmly, been angry, forgiven, and sobbed as hard as i ever have before. what else i can do.