Mary edith molpus

I noticed on my rewatch of the finale tonight that when Henry drove up to London with Edith, he was more animated with her in those few moments than I felt like he ever was with Mary! Purely platonic, of course, but his personality was just so much "more", if you know what I mean - I found myself really liking him in those scenes in a way I just haven't been able to otherwise.

There are a lot of unhealthy relationships in Downton Abbey. Both platonic, and non-platonic. But there are also some incredibly healthy ones and they're all based on mutual love and respect (and trust). And I think it would be fun to talk about them for a change instead of trying to persuade each other that love can be abusive (it can't, if it's abuse it's not love).
Let's start with the more seemingly unlikely (but actually makes a world of sense) sibling relationship, the one between Tom and Mary.
I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the first real interaction between them happened when Sybil got injured at the by-election.
https://preview.redd.it/xozyq4sk0o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8556b05b064a31c63b068e58e5139c016dd9650
Sybil, in her distress, asked Tom to bring someone from her family to Crawley House, and that someone was Mary. She didn't ask for Edith or Cora, even though she was Cora's favourite daughter (and if anyone wants an elaborate essay, or a long comment on how I reached that conclusion, let me know). She asked for Mary, because Mary was the one she trusted the most and the one she felt closest to. And the one she knew would stand by her, no matter what. Because, from what we've seen on the show, if you've got Mary's devotion she'll fight for you like a mama tiger.
So Tom and Mary unite forces for the first time because of their love and devotion to Sybil. And it shows. For all his reservations, Tom speaks to Mary openly after they come back to the house with Sybil. About his ideals and about who he is (someone who cares for Sybil). And Mary respects him, she doesn't rebuff him, doesn't tell him he speaks above his station (which, she could have, easily).
Even more she promises to give him news of Sybil's recovery when she notices how honestly he cares, and tells him to be prepared for Robert's wrath (which could have been considered out of turn, to speak about her father to a servant like that, but Mary didn't give a shit).
https://preview.redd.it/5nzyfapm0o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d270ca14644a34974baab26c7b5c30a602f20a8
Mary doesn't lose respect for him, and he doesn't lose respect for her, after Tom and Sybil try to elope. She doesn't talk down on him, and she is gracious, asking if he has money to pay for the room, and then accepting his reply without further questioning. What's more, she is honest with him, that she'll try to change Sybil's mind. But Mary doesn't find it necessary to talk down on him. After all, he is a man her sister loves. Whether it's smart for Sybil to do so is irrelevant, so Mary offers him the respect he deserves as the man her sister has chosen so far.
And Tom knows that Sybil values Mary's opinion. So he tells her "you think you can bring her around, don't you?" because he knows that the only person who could persuade Sybil, because it's the only person who would truly offer an opinion with only Sybil's best interest in mind, would be Mary.
Thankfully for him (and for Sybil), beyond advising her on what she thinks is best, Mary backs Sybil 100% and does all she can to keep her in her life and in the family.
And we know this through many things. First of all, she begs her father to send money to Sybil and Tom so they can be at her and Matthew's wedding.
https://preview.redd.it/uxnq49wo0o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=57e8055af78bcf4c37931939fb9eab527c1832ac
Second of all, she is the one who writes to them. When they eventually do come for the wedding, Tom tells Carson they know what goes on at Downton because "Mary keeps them informed". THEM. Which means her letters are adressed to both Tom and Sybil, because Tom is her brother now. And as her brother, he gets a certain set of benefits. Including her devotion. Which also shows from her private conversation with Sybil, and how happy they are to be together and be able to share their happiness with each other.
And this is what I mean by saying the family we choose. The people we turn to in our hour of need and our hour of joy are the people we form the closest bond with. Sybil turned to Mary in her hour of need, and Mary wanted Sybil there in her hour of joy.
Their bond had now expanded to include Tom, and then, even further, to include Matthew.
https://preview.redd.it/b6xi0wlz0o1d1.jpg?width=830&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba71dd34cd36baaf7b9f3bd15a330e307f3c85d9
Because of course it did. All those things that hold these people together, the love, the trust, the respect, extend to him through Mary, so of course he'd be bound to Tom and Sybil in the same way. Obviously, their characters and personalities match as well, but that becomes part of the deal, you don't develop those deep connections with people you don't match with.
And Sybil held on to that bond with her sister to the very end, confiding in Mary all the things Mary would need to fight for Tom when the time came. About how much Sybil loved him, and about Sybil wanting her baby to be baptised into the Catholic church. Sybil chose Mary to support her in these battles (or fight them for her, if need be).
https://preview.redd.it/wfxhbn8m1o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=075cfb309dfc55170c5ff5478f57ddad924b0213
Sadly, Fellowes chose to show us very clearly who were Sybil's nearest and dearest in a very tragic way, considering whom he chose as the people literally holding on to her as she was slipping away.
https://preview.redd.it/g70deulu1o1d1.jpg?width=740&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e1fe82af54104eb0965037bb3d566057cb8a431
Which brings me to Tom asking Mary to be Sybbie's godmother.
https://preview.redd.it/ykmw3nk11o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=298b02bd10f6dfa25836b1cdff73df689af957ce
Mary is the Crawley who engages with Sybbie the most in season 3. More than Cora even. We see Mary at the nursery all the time, and it makes so much sense that Tom would pick her.
And I get that Fellowes did not want to bother with child actors, but it is sad he let those relationships move in the background once they were established.
First of all, again, Mary is clearly the one bonding the most with Tom's daughter. Second of all, her and Matthew were the ones who did their absolute best to integrate him to the family, Matthew making him his best man and Mary fighting Robert left and right in Tom's favour.
https://preview.redd.it/olelwbg31o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da6c02005b6995756b9c0fa60029b53c4e009cf9
So Tom had, initially, only invited Mary and Matthew to Sybbie's christening and nobody else from the family (not even Cora), and offered her the role of godmother. Because Mary loved Sybil, and Mary loved Sybbie. And Mary was the closest to Sybil that Sybbie would ever get.
Mary and Sybil were similar in many ways (even if Mary was a coward and Sybil was very brave), and Mary always loved and respected Sybil for who she was, and would do the same with her daughter. And she was so invested in keeping Tom and Sybbie in Downton, she was in fact the one to invite Tom's brother Kieran to stay with them during the christening.
I read a nice quote today that said death might end love, but it doesn't erase it. And that works for this family, because Sybbie gets so much love from her mother, through all these other people.
https://preview.redd.it/tmz9rce41o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3106a3e347d1dcc0508e1cfef639a3123981cb13
So Mary chose to love Tom for Sybil, and Tom did the same, but eventually, they learned to love each other for who they were as individuals. And to work together and squabble together as siblings do.
And develop their non-verbal communication skills:
https://preview.redd.it/8dmtfz514o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9367f6195266602a7e8ae0ea9675b09d00bf3690
Note: I love that Tom brought Sybbie to stay with Mary in the second movie while they were in France. Because of course he did. Why leave her with the nanny when she can be with her godmother and her cousins?
Let's move on to Rose.
Rose was a glaring replacement for Sybil, even if they were quite different people. And so, Rose was a replacement for Sybil in Mary's life too, although in this case, Mary was a parent figure for Rose.
Nothing makes this more obvious than the case of Mr Ross.
https://preview.redd.it/u6982bqg3o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6098e04b085d08baacef34e3d58f46d06252c504
Mary *sees* Rose with Mr Ross at Robert's birthday, and in typical Mary fashion when she comes across a situation outside the ordinary, she freezes. But once she reaches a decision on what to do, she doesn't say anything. She doesn't judge Rose. Mary has been through this. She knows what it's like to be young and stupid. She knows Rose is consenting to what is happening, and that it's a different time from when she was Rose's age. So she doesn't interfere until it becomes necessary.
https://preview.redd.it/wxc8y28k3o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=777f6dc6c0dd54a49d2f741906beb023b59d4353
Enter Tom. In his very brotherly role, he immediately tells Mary, and not anyone else in the family, of what he saw. Btw, I love how he stands in front of her like a sergeant reporting for duty.
Because again, we reach out to the family of choice, and he trust Mary more than anyone else, more than Edith or Cora or Rosamund, to do what's right.
Tom, like the good brother he was, warns Mary of what he's seen.
Fellowes, then, very tellingly, puts two scenes back to back:
From Cora complaining to Mary of how hard it is to parent Rose and that she doesn't know what to do with her.
https://preview.redd.it/m4kzqzk54o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45c41145914deccaef4f420017dbc671ca0a9676
To Mary very expertly parenting Rose and making no fuss about it.
https://preview.redd.it/q5l61n974o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d76e7ed7d78b5f3fc240006a750c13418d4c80c1
She doesn't treat her like a child, she doesn't attack her, and she never betrays her confidence.
She says "I don't want YOU to lose control of YOUR life". She makes sure Rose knows that ROSE is her priority. Not the family, not her mother, not anyone else. And she makes it clear that she doesn't judge her for whom she loves.
And THAT gives Rose the comfort to confide in Mary when the time comes and tell her of her plan to marry Mr Ross.
https://preview.redd.it/cwbdrdp84o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee9e7a04c2c0a29b1b4d8d1627e15a120f4b7007
This evolves in a very similar vein to Tom and Sybil with the difference that there's no elopement so Mary doesn't need Edith to drive the car.
She treats Mr Ross with the same respect she treated Tom. And she even tells him she wouldn't have been against his and Rose's union if it weren't for the cruel world they lived in.
What I find interesting here, is that she respects Mr Ross for himself, more than for being Rose's choice in partners. Because she thinks it's ROSE, who is being unfair to him, in using him as a means to spite her mother, even if she cares for him.
And you can tell the difference by the way the scenes are setup. Rose stands before Mary like a child stands before their mother. Mary sits across from Mr Ross and they share a cup of tea like adults, and equals.
Eventually, Rose understands, and forgives her. And loves her, and expects Atticus to love her as well (he does).
https://preview.redd.it/ln9ztkia4o1d1.jpg?width=596&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f29ea4d3481ae99ae518f59dd4b8e2615ec389c3
So there you have it. It's almost like there's a string running through all these relationships, because all these people are bound together, and it's not because they're family. It's because there's positive emotions that keep them together and keep them in each others corner. And they're all about love and respect, between partners and between siblings and between cousins who are caught in a parent/child relationship because the actual parents in their lives are crap.
It's beautiful, and quite uncomplicated, and I like it's something we get to see on this show so much.

Just like the title says, say something good and bad about each character (only as many as you want of course, otherwise we may be here all day). No matter if the character is one of your favorites or most hated, say something good and bad about each.
But I would request, if someone is brave enough to say something bad about a character they like, don't make any snarky remarks or make them doubt their confidence. Also, make it a real "something good" and "something bad". Nothing like "The best thing about so and so is when they leave the shot" or anything like that.
No need to mention obviously evil characters like Mr. Green.
I'll start (these are of course only my opinions and interpretations):
Daisy had such an innocent wonder about her in the first seasons. She always thought she knew better than everyone and was entitled to decide what others could have.
Mrs. Patmore is hilarious. She was also mean to Daisy in the beginning, and going along with saying that Daisy had such an innocence around her then, it did kind of seem like kicking a puppy.
Mrs. Hughes (I did say everyone) is the best, her lines are hilarious and she can take on anyone. She can be a sneaky schemer. It's almost exclusively used for a good purpose, but she could become evil if she wanted.
Violet (this hurts me so much) is the show, without her there is no Downton. But she can be very sharp and lash out. I never want to be on her bad side.
Isis is a good girl. Isis died.
Sybil was kind and sweet. Sybil was only kind and sweet, even trying to add being an activist didn't bring her character more depth.
Robert is so noble and stand up, just a perfect depiction of what a lord should be. But he could be stuck in his ways and naive about matters he is unfamiliar with (That Ponzi chap)
Cora could diffuse some situations so well, and seemed to really want her people to be happy. She seemed air headed or clueless in some seasons, and inconsiderate in others.
When Edith was in love, she seemed to genuinely give her whole heart each time. I don't really want to say much else and start an Edith war.
Mary is a Violet in training, so she will one day be Great. She still makes many mistakes and has not become as perfect as The Dowager.
Shrimpie is so cool. But he lost Dunneagle.

I think we all know that the relationship between Edith and Mary is a frequent topic on this sub, whether it is from a positive or negative angle. However, I have noticed that Edith and Sybil's relationship doesn't get a lot of attention. And a few days ago, I had to deal with looking at ugly posts from an anti-Edith stan claiming that Edith hated Sybil. I will always defend Edith directly when needed, but I think the best way to counter negative content is with positive content. With that said, here are some of my favorite positive moments in Edith and Sybil's relationship.

1. The conversation in the car about Sybil's new dress. I get that so many anti-Edith stans love to paint this as a moment that shows that Edith feels nothing but envy toward her sisters. However, one part that they always conveniently leave out is the part where, just a mere few seconds after Edith asks why Sybil gets a new dress, she starts asking questions about what Sybil wants the seamstress to make. This to me shows that while Edith may have her moments of envy and jealousy, she still cares for Sybil, which is a realistic depiction of sisterhood.
2. The support that both Edith and Sybil show one another in Season 2. In the first episode, we saw that Edith offered to drive Sybil to her nursing course before Cora insisted that Tom do it, which shows that Edith supported Sybil becoming a nurse. In the third episode, it's Sybil who encourages Edith to find something to do, which leads to Edith becoming a more caring person through her helping the soldiers. Sybil notes in the seventh episode how much nicer Edith is than she was before the war. Finally, once it becomes apparent that Sybil wants to marry Tom, Edith recognizes that the family has to accept it, and she attends Sybil's wedding, along with Mary.
3. Edith expressing concern about Sybil during and after their phone conversation in the fourth episode of Season 3, another moment that shows that she genuinely cared for Sybil and was worried for her.

What about y'all? What are your favorite Edith & Sybil moments?

Mary truly was heartless, when it came to her own sister!
Well the title gives it a away which direction this post is taking. There are often Many v/s Edith posts here, so I want to make it clear that it is not a Mary v/s Edith post or a comparison post of which of the sisters was better or worse. I am not a Mary hater or Edith fan. I am watching season 5 for the 100th time may be, and this episode always reminds me how cruel and heartless Mary can be to her own sister.
This the episode where Edith finds out that Gregson is dead, and Mary’s reaction is making jokes with Anna. And when Anna asks her to be nice she say’s she is sorry but what he saw in Edith?
Then at the breakfast table, she hasn’t even said any comforting words to Edith but proceeds to make a plan to flirt with a man she has given up but still wants to torment just for her own amusement.
Then later in the episode they find out Gregson is dead, she still hasn’t said any comforting words to Edith but chooses to try a new fashion the next day when she knows that Edith is wearing black and is in mourning.
Yes, they all suspected he was dead and it had been over a year since he was missing. But Edith was still holding out hope and made no secret of it. Anna’s comment sums it up, he didn’t die for Edith till this afternoon and that’s what makes all the difference.
This is in S5E6, this is after Mary has lost Mathew and grieved for him so she understands the pain of losing love. This is after they have both lost Sybil and only have each other as siblings, this is after Mary has become a mother so not a naive little girl anymore. This is after Edith was so kind to her when Mathew and Mary had clearly broken up and Mathew was missing, but Edith still understood that Mary loved him so was very kind to her.
No matter how Mary’s fans would justify this, but it is the absolute worst behaviour of any human to not care for another person’s loss let alone your own sister’s. And the rest of the family wasn’t much better either, leaving her alone in her darkest time to go have a picnic. Poor Edith really had the worst family and deserved better!

Hello my dear subjects,
It is I, a 20-something Canadian that somehow stumbled upon this delightful show earlier this week. I think either Monday or Tuesday. So in just 3-4 days I am now on S5: E1 and have been through A LOT.
After just the first episode this show has become my adhd fixation and I literally cannot do anything else until I finish it. I’m in way too deep now.
(Spoilers below)
In just the span of 24 hours I witnessed Sybil’s death, and Matthew’s death (yesterday) and I’m so shook. Also earlier this week WWI?!?!
This show is just so fascinating and I want to share my journey of the last 2 seasons with you live from my couch! I will keep updating this thread with thoughts as they come, but here are a few things off the top of my head heading into season 5: - HOW did O’Brien just leave without us getting a scene where Cora finds out the truth about the soap?! I have been WAITING for this and now am realizing this may never happen! - I don’t like the teacher lady that Tom is seeing. It’s low key so weird she needed a tour of the house that quick - Daisy really annoys me. Every season she is jealous/petty about a situation and we need to listen to her whine about it just for her to realize she was wrong at the end - I literally can’t remember their names and I don’t want to look them up bc of spoilers but I think Mary is gonna end up w suitor #2 (the pig guy) instead of suitor #1 (engaged guy) after seeing her eyes light up when she finds out suitor #2 has MONEY HONEY lol. Also she likes guys that argue w her so yea - WHY OH WHY CAN’T EDITH HAVE A LOVE INTEREST THATS UNDER 50?! Also 2/3 men she dated were MARRIED. And women back then could be institutionalized by their husbands very easily so how do we even believe that her baby daddy’s wife was everything he said she was? - Why is Cora so petty with the staff? Like when one of them does something objectively minor she’s always “vexed”! - I’m so confused why Thomas cares so much about Baxter’s intel?

Henry Talbot will die, and Lady Mary will meet his distant cousin--The Earl of Shrewsbury--at his funeral. They get on well, but she also meets the Earl's best friends-- the Duke and the Prince of Saxe-Coburg-Whateverfield.
She gets in an illicit love affair with all three, but ultimately settles on the Duke as Lady Mary is a true English Rose. She has 8 more children, and 6 survive. They are all little lords and ladies, and, most importantly, she has 5 more children than Edith.
Also, they go to America, and Harold and Madeleine reconnect and become engaged.
The end.

Season 1 Episode 2 It’s 1912 when Lord Grantham gives Charles Gregg £20 to go away. That is equal to £2,862 in 2024 or $3,623
Season 3 Episode 4 It’s 1920 when Edith picks up a bottle of scent for the Dowager. It’s ‘a guinea’ (1 pound & 1 shilling and I couldn’t figure out how to get the calculator to do that, so I went with £1) That is somewhat equal to £56 in 2024 or $70
Season 3 Episode 9 It’s 1921 when Jimmy bets 'a quid on the Downton team' (tug 'o war at the fair) That is equal to £61 in 2024 or $77 At ten to one odds, Jimmy won £10 equal to £613 in 2024 or $776
Season 4 Episode 2 still 1921, 1922, six months after Matthews death and Mr. Molesley hasn’t had wages in a bit. He’s working on the roads when he tells Anna he owes £15 - £20 around the village. £920 - £1,226 in 2024 or $1,164 - $1,552. Later the same episode, Mr. Bates (with help from the Dowager) gives Mr. Molesley £30. That is equal to £1,840 in 2024 or $2,329 ETA: after I thought about it, I realized it's 1922 becuase it's Valentines Day
Season 6 Episode 1 It’s 1925 when Mary’s blackmailer demands £1,000, equivalent to £76,190 or $96,461 in 2024. Robert gives the blackmailer £50, that’s £3,809 or $4,822 in 2024

I really am saddened that Mary had zero empathy for Edith after the death of her partner and having to give up her child. She just didn’t have any compassion whatsoever even after losing her own husband. I would have loved a warm compassionate conversation.

Let alone marry him". People often say it's weird that Robert "changed his mind" about Anthony Strallan when Edith was with him like he suddenly didn't approve of him but I don't think he changed his mind at all, in the beginning he was also against him for Mary. He only agreed to try because Cora convinced him that Mary needed to find a husband quickly, because of the rumors and the entail issue. After she refused Matthew they were desperate and she wasn't really allowed to be picky anymore. Edith wasn't in the same situation as Mary and could've found a better husband, and of course Anthony's arm injury after the war didn't help either. She only settled for him because it was the first time a man gave her that kind of attention and she was desperate too (when she says like "if you think I'm going to let you go when you call me lovely you're crazy".. so sad), I think in a way Robert and the others (maybe even Strallan) kind of picked up on that

While Edith, along with Mary, wasn't sure on Tom as a husband to Sybil, but she was quick to stand up for him when it was revealed that Larry had drugged him.
And stood up for him when it came to Sybbie's name and babtism. And Tom knew about Marigold from the start, but never judged Edith for it.
Edith always felt like an outsider in her own family, and while Matthew was a true brother to her, Tom was the first family member to understand her. Him coming from a working class meant that he saw things in a different way than the family did.
And in Edith, Tom had someone who could relate to him being an outsider. Yes, Mary always supported him and loved him like a brother, but Edith was the family, member outside of Sybil and Matthew, who understood Tom

I would imagine it unlikely for him to marry after Edith. He wasn’t mentioned again but I imagine it would’ve been a huge disgrace for that time to do such a thing, possibly would’ve massively tarnished his reputation leaving him a very lonely man for the rest of his days.
What Mary did to him at the end of Season 1 pretty much shaped all the unfortunate events that occurred after.

This episode. So iconic. For so many reasons. Not the least of which being the fact that watching it post-covid is An Experience (like seriously, I get that they wanted us to see the actors' faces, but for the love of God, put a mask on a nurse every once in a while!).
Just one thing before I ramble on like I usually do: many thanks to u/RachaelJurassic and u/penni_cent, and everyone else really who has joined me in more conversations than I'd care to admit to (although, if you read these posts, you've seen the comments, you know we've gone overboard) for their valuable contributions. Thanks for nerding out with me guys xo
Aaanyway, back to our regular schedule of watching two idiots in love making every mistake from every romance novel available.
Isn't it wonderful when you wander into your family home, and your eyes just happen to fall on the woman you'll be marrying in a couple of days:
https://preview.redd.it/sahwvoek1hzc1.jpg?width=492&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0c7e43d915abf4de47f08742ecd95a0d35416580
Oh wait, sorry, my mistake, that's just his Cousin.
Matthew complains about his "damn stick" that he wants to get rid of before the wedding because he "wants to go up and down the aisle without any assistance".
Funnily enough, he says this as well while looking at his cousin, Mary, while his actual fiancée is Right There.
https://preview.redd.it/ancb38dp3hzc1.jpg?width=492&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=112b71ccb424b0252e651e64e33d56a2f99b4ff4
Said fiancée, points out that "he'll have her to lean on, on his way down the aisle" and he smiles at that, thankfully.
I do find it interesting however, that he minded needing the actual, physical stick, on his way to the aisle, and pointed this out to the person he later admitted to being his metaphorical "stick" who wouldn't be making the trip up and down the aisle with him.
Basically, if he can't lean on Mary, he'd rather be able to stand on his own two feet, even if he concedes to Lavinia's point later, she literally wasn't his first thought. His troubled look when Mary points out the wedding is in three days before she walks away does not help his case either.
Btw, I'm not saying this to mean Matthew didn't love Lavinia. He wouldn't have tortured himself so much if he felt nothing for her. But he did get attached to her when he was in a very depressed and desperate state, thinking he'd die in the trenches, and he did resign himself to her return, without having sought her out himself, so the truth was that now he was duty-bound rather than an enthusiastic participant to the union, even if he still cared for her.
https://preview.redd.it/x8ufcnem3hzc1.jpg?width=726&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=351b6d115da29970ce99ab8a7f9cad7ced07a74c
Btw, these are truly unprecedented, challenging times, when Mary and Edith JOIN FORCES to persuade Sybil to rethink her decision to marry Tom.
They don't dismiss her feelings. They simply point out the fact that regardless of what she feels for Tom, her life would change entirely once she married him. And I can see both POVs as valid, here. I can see why her sisters would worry that she'd regret it. None of them even knew how the other half lived. Sybil didn't even know how to brew tea before the war. And I can see how they'd fear it would be an unbearable change if the novelty of a different life wore of and she found herself stuck in a place she no longer wanted to be.
But I also see it from Sybil's perspective. Even if we put aside her feelings for Tom, Sybil never liked the aristocratic lifestyle. She never fit in. All Crawley sisters struggled under a system that didn't allow them to be themselves, because sexism, but Sybil could truly not find a place for herself in it.
Mary was the one destined to run Downton. We've said it before that she's quite male-coded for that reason, always striving to please her father. She struggled to find a place for herself outside of that role once it became clear to her that it wouldn't happen, but she still thought she could make it work, somehow. Because above everything else, Mary was devoted to the Crawley family. She was the eldest, that was her role, and she had bee raised to play it (and she did).
Edith was the truly traditional woman of her time (at this point). She followed in her mother's footsteps perfectly. She always played the role society deemed acceptable for women as well as she could (with a bunch of missteps, and a lot of space that left her extremely vulnerable to manipulation). This including all the Angel in the Home/caring mother-hen image the war propaganda had created for aristocratic women looking after male soldiers at the time. And it was frustrating for Edith to play this role as well because even if she exceled, she didn't thrive. We see that again at a later scene where she's arranging Lavinia and Matthew's wedding presents and moaning about her life. In any case, she still believed that she could find a place for herself within her social circle (and she did!).
Sybil was the baby of the family. And I know lots of people disagree with this but, just my opinion: Sybil was the most "spoiled" one out of all three sisters.
Both Mary and Edith had roles to play. Either imposed by the family (Mary), or strived for to prove ones worth (Edith). Nobody demanded, or expected, anything from Sybil, other than to be a regular society woman. And when she wasn't being one she was scolded, but nobody ever tried to change her.
The problem that occurred from this is two-fold:

1. Sybil did get to see how the real world worked and she realised, she would be allowed to be freer there (true).
2. Sybil did not have a real role to play within the confines of the Crawley family and the high society. Other than to become someone's wife.

Sybil, therefore, HAD to leave Downton. And she knew it.
https://preview.redd.it/hrhs7fv62hzc1.jpg?width=726&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27cc0192319be590d09bb8e78d3abaa816aa25a4
I'm really sad to have to skip all of Violet's excellent, excellent lines in this but I've got to keep my head straight otherwise we'll be here forever: Speaking of being the eldest child, with a role to play, and always held to account, Robert blows the first gasket against Mary, who's already standing up so I think we can easily assume she announced her knowledge of Sybil's plans herself.
Just look at how all eyes of the family (including Dad 2.0, and Matthew) are on her. Because she's responsible for Sybil, even though Sybil is a grown ass adult. Also: note how Mary NEVER mentions Edith's involvement. Because to Mary, it doesn't matter. She's the older one, she's the one shouldering the responsibility, and that's defining of her relationships throughout her life.
https://preview.redd.it/j9mk1as82hzc1.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a276fdad430f7758c1585e801ed0c6e984a3c498
Btw, I love Tom here. "Give your daughter some credit for knowing her own mind."
Preach. I'd also like to point out that none of the women in the family tried to infantilise Sybil. Mary thought it was just a crush and would "blow over" (having had one of those that ended catastrophically for her) and even Violet said "she must have something in mind". The only person who didn't respect Sybil here, was Robert.
I do love Sybil's response "You can posture all you like, Papa." because Robert has no power over her, so it doesn't matter if he rages and raves, Sybil is her own person. Also, this is something neither Mary, nor Edith, would ever dare do, defy their father like that. We'll talk more about Mary's reaction to Robert's disappointment later, but this is the defining baby-of-the-family moment because Sybil's is audacious enough to be this defiant.
By the way (and I would have written about this in the other user's post about it but work's been a killer):
https://preview.redd.it/x8xmmhla2hzc1.jpg?width=826&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b87cdf4db0523b91352c8729f576427654ae7bd
This is why Robert (attempted an affair with Jane).
Him and Cora were not agreeing on anything. On Matthew's wedding. On Mary's wedding. On Sybil leaving with Tom. Plus, Robert was feeling "neglected" because Cora was busy with the hospital and didn't have time to, Idk, baby him? Praise him for existing? Either way, with their disagreements and, mostly, with Robert feeling his Male Authority questioned at every corner, he did what almost every man does in that situation: he tried to have an affair with a younger woman, in a position that would allow him to have authority over her, so he could feel significant again.
Great stuff 🙄
https://preview.redd.it/b3jyjs0c2hzc1.jpg?width=716&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d389b1c70ebce2b9547869c4b7c679aeecbcb4da
Side note: I love how Anna's decision here is influenced by watching two Crawley women, reacting very differently to a similar situation.
Mary was a coward, who didn't dare stand in front of Matthew and say this is who I am, and therefore she had to, somewhat, be reduced to watching as other people took precedence (well, in theory, if not in practice) in caring for Matthew, the man she loved.
Sybil was not a coward, and she stood in front of her family and said this is who I am, take it or leave it, I'm siding with the man I love.
Anna watched, and made a decision on which was the camp she'd rather find herself in, if the worst were to happen.
"I won't be moved to the sidelines, to watch how you fare from a distance with no right, even to be kept informed"
Apparently, nothing was worse than being in Mary's shoes at the moment, and especially throughout Matthew's recovery (even though their situation was obviously not as extreme, or as dire, as Anna's).
https://preview.redd.it/78g81q7e2hzc1.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa4a2fc639a363737c7201c1197ea577181e2c1d
Carson falls sick. Cora falls sick. Lavinia falls sick. Molesley falls sick (hangover is kind of a sickness, no? How had nobody told the poor man you're supposed to spit out the wine when you're tasting lots of them) and Fellowes is already rubbing his talented, yet tragedy-driving, hands together.
Just going to hate on Robert for another hot minute: He says here to Clarkson not to worry about Cora needing nursing for a while because "All their daughters are professionals" *Mary in the background coming back from having helped Lavinia to rest in her bedroom, and hearing Clarkson say her condition looks good. Lord knows she's been doing back and forths informing Matthew and Lavinia of each others health for a while now*.
Nice that Robert acknowledges Mary nursing Matthew here, sad he'll forget all about it at a later season when he won't be able to remeber "Mary doing anything" during the war. But it's Robert, expectations have to be kept to a minimum most of the time I guess.
https://preview.redd.it/540d5u1g2hzc1.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=af2326462b5386781ca8b39b8fc480834690b440
Mary seeing Matthew and having to brace herself against the wall because it's only a few more days she'll be able to even watch him from afar.
She does do quiet suffering and longing like an absolute pro.
https://preview.redd.it/8pcipbxh2hzc1.jpg?width=698&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a00d504b3f6ed77b73fed86c3a6923db334f8033
Something I hadn't noticed in any previous viewing: Matthew does a COMPLETE once-over of Mary, and clearly deeming her irresistible, offers *both hands, clearly expectant* for a dance.
That absolute asshole 😭 Poor woman, look at the shock (and delight) on her face.
https://preview.redd.it/7knhnsgk2hzc1.jpg?width=584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b50945741e41a5c381eacd281818a3b32491f901
Mary: Can you manage without your stick?
Matthew: You are my stick.
First of all, his face????? Absolute devotion 😭
Second of all, he cannot walk down the aisle to meet Lavinia without his stick and isn't that troublesome because how can he DO IT without being able to be completely 100% independent, but put Mary in his arms and he will, quite literally WALTZ AROUND because Mary is there, she'll keep him steady.
I can't. Someone take this away from me, I can't deal. I know they said so much about how "Lavinia was there for Matthew" but these two assholes right here knew the truth, even if they wouldn't admit to it to anyone else.
Also, make a note of *just how closely* he holds her, because we'll see them waltz again in the next episode and it will be VERY DIFFERENT. Either if it's because there's no one watching here so he can indulge himself, or because he actually needs her to keep him steady, it's such a thing of beauty.
Also also, I love that the camera lingers more on Matthew's expressions here because we know Mary loves him. We know how much he means to her, what we don't know is how much HE still loves her. We're about to find out:
https://preview.redd.it/zcbeelln2hzc1.jpg?width=584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20472323a37248a57438813485be15816842d5df
And of course, why not try to bury his entire face in her hair while his soul practically leaves his body in grief.
Matthew: Oh, God, Mary. I am so, so sorry. Do you know how sorry I am?
Mary: Don't be. It wasn't anyone's fault. If it was, it was mine.
First of all, Matthew's affection for Mary's hair is further confirmed. Whether it's the texture, or the colour, or the smell, the man has a weakness.
Second of all, he doesn't have to explain, she doesn't question his words, they both know what the subject of the conversation is.
He apologises because he finally has realised he had his own part in things going sour between them. He'd been looking at world in black and white: You love me, or you don't.
Now he's been through the war and he knows things are actually not black and white. And he also knows that Mary loves him. That she's always loved him. And it no longer matters what her other reason was because her devotion cannot be questioned, and she has suffered for it as, or even more, than he has. So he has to say he's sorry, because he hurt her too.
He only says Violet "told him to marry her". He doesn't mention she had to spell it out to him that Mary loves him for him to either accept the truth of it, or finally decide to to say something about it. He probably thinks he's an idiot, not to have allowed himself to admit to the truth earlier. When she did everything she could to make him happy after he came back with Lavinia in tow. When she looked after him. When she offered to spend her life looking after him (twice).
He's too ashamed of himself, and I wonder at what point in their marriage, in the dark of night, it simply ate too much at him and he had to go "darling, I have to tell you something, I was such an idiot back then" and Mary would roll her eyes and tell him to go to sleep.
She absolves him immediately, btw. "It wasn't anyone's fault. And if it was, it was mine." Of course dear, pick that up. I can see how, in her mind, it was her fault, but we all know it wasn't. She was right at first, it wasn't anyone's fault. But never let me come between an eldest daughter and her responsibilities (unless it's my own sister in which case I'm THERE, guns blazing).
After he further explains his conversation with Violet, Mary asks "What did you say?" in such a small voice she literally made me cry. It was so important to her to know. Why. Why wouldn't he marry her now, after all this?
Matthew: That I couldn't accept Lavinia's sacrifice of her life, her children, her future, and then give her the brush off when I was well again. Well, I couldn't, could I?
Mary: Of course not.
Matthew: However much I might want to.
Mary: Absolutely not.
https://preview.redd.it/cke16d6v2hzc1.jpg?width=584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f3baa6aa15b55c0b3a3cf141febf05174330b7c0
Idiots, both of them.
I understand. I do. They're both creatures of duty. Mary gets it. Matthew has made a promise. Lavinia relies on that. She loves him. He's promised to marry her.
It sounds stupid to us now, but lives were different back then. Social norms had such a strong hold on people. Men didn't break engagements, it was shaming for their fiancees to be jilted.
But it's impossible for Mary and Matthew. Because they *do* love each other. And now they both know it. And it doesn't matter what the brain says, because the heart wants what it wants.
Btw, I'm so glad for this dialogue. Not just because it's on point, character wise, but also because Lady Mary Crawley would never in her life become a "pick me choose me love me" girl. You want to honour your promise to Lavinia, to prioritise it above your own, and Mary's, and Lavinia's happiness, you go ahead and do that Matthew Crawley. Mary won't fucking beg.
This scene was needed, for all those reasons. And for more than that, not including the fact that it's absolutely gorgeous and earned and makes my heart stop every time I see it. Because this way, Mary knows she had always been Matthew's first choice. That he chooses her, in this moment, even above his honour. First time, really, that a man prioritises her this much.
If he'd turned to her after Lavinia's death, WITHOUT this dance/kiss having happened, she'd always think she was his second choice.
And I think Matthew knows this and it's one of the reasons why he says "do you know how sorry I am?" because he can't bear to think of Mary not knowing how much she means to him.
I love that the camera spins around them a bit like the record spins on and all that while they were still dancing, the song was still going but when Lavinia came down the music was almost done so Matthew and Mary have no concept of time or for how long they were kissing and neither do we.
Speaking of this scene being necessary: Lavinia needed to see this.
https://preview.redd.it/uauu2nmy2hzc1.jpg?width=584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7cce335faae6bc791953e82f5efa17e294372209
She had been watching them, for months if not years. Even in 2.1 she watched Mary watch Matthew. She knew there was something there, she admits to it, that she was "having doubts". She bought into Cora's lies, came back into Matthew life and told him she wouldn't "accept him sending her away again" basically robbing him of choice, and now she came face to face with the facts: That Matthew loved Mary.
And I can understand that Lavinia did this out of love. I get it. I understand she didn't want to give up the fight. I also understand she had absolutely no reason to think Matthew didn't love her as well. He did. Just not enough.
Like I said, it takes four people to ruin two relationships. Lavinia's part in it was in her denial, Carlisle's in his malevolent actions, Matthew and Mary's in being so, so stupid (dutiful gives them too much credit, it was stupidity. And a hint of cowardice).
Anyway. Matthew didn't give Lavinia enough credit. Lavinia was braver than himself and Mary combined. Because even if she was the one who, presumably, had the most to lose here, she was the one most willing to stand up for what was right. And she had enough sense of self-worth, more than enough, actually, to know that living a life as someone's second best was simply not worth it.
You go girl. You deserved so much better than what this episode had in store for you. There isn't much that I don't like about season 2, but the one thing I hate is the fact that Lavinia had to die to drag on Matthew's guilt.
https://preview.redd.it/islxgfs13hzc1.jpg?width=584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44ae93f69ef70df5eba1076262a5968921ae1b0a
Lavinia: The thing is...I might as well say it. When I came downstairs and you and Mary were dancing, I heard what you said...and I saw what you did.
Matthew: But that was--
Lavinia: No, it's not that I'm in a rage and a fury. In fact, I think it's noble of you to want to keep your word when things have changed. But I'm not sure it'd be right for me to hold you to it.
Matthew: Lavinia, I can explain.
First of all, "But that was" - what, mate? What was it? A mistake? I highly doubt you'd dare say that big a lie. Were you saying goodbye? Never to see Mary again so you can be devoted to your wife? I very highly doubt that. You can't explain anything, not unless you're about to admit to her that you love another woman.
Second of all, damn you Fellowes for making women pick up so much slack for the men in their lives. Lavinia immediately having to justify herself in questioning him, even without Matthew asking her to, a trained reaction when a woman is about to be emotional. That she's not raging, or being hysterical.
Lavinia confirms she's been having doubts about the marriage, saying Matthew and Mary "looked so fine together" and Matthew literally says he doesn't want to hear it. Well, of course not. You'd have to admit to being an idiot and neither you or Mary are capable of that at the moment.
He can't even admit to how Mary cared for him. Lavinia says she came back and thought it was right because "she'd look after him and Mary wouldn't do that quite as well" as herself, and Matthew laughs and says "No, not quite".
I hate to point this out, but Mary was the one who actually looked after him when he arrived at Downton, stayed with him, washed him, cleaned up his vomit. Mary was the one who stayed with him after Lavinia went back to London, who helped him out of his depression and spent time with him while he recovered.
So, I think Matthew is STILL either denying the truth (to spare Lavinia's feelings), or agreeing that Mary's version of care is different to Lavinia's.
Because Lavinia treated him like a child that needed mothering. Mary treated him like he was the man she loved who was going through a difficult time, and she'd see him through it even if that meant she had to step back and let him CHOOSE for himself, what he wanted out of this new life. So no, Mary wouldn't "care for him" the way Lavinia would.
https://preview.redd.it/ihommai53hzc1.jpg?width=584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=985504415a470b61009baa71e319e16d71d807ce
Oh, speaking of cringe, Matthew, my mate, "What you're saying is pointless, Mary's marrying somebody else", is that really what you're going with? That you shouldn't break the engagement because you can't have Mary anyway? Smooth. At least it was honest because I do believe he doesn't THINK he'd try to get between Mary and Carlisle.
Lavinia knows better than he does: Is she? We'll see.
Darling, it still took them months. You did your best, honestly 💔
https://preview.redd.it/u16qvjs63hzc1.jpg?width=584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=253053ee38fd1b621fd5574b9a0ecf2533c1a379
This absolute asshat. Honestly. Coming to Yorkshire to be there, in case Lavinia dies, to act as a reminder to Matthew that Mary is *engaged* actually, and you can't just trade one fiancée for another my mate.
I *love* that he felt this was necessary. That he thought (so accurately) Mary was dismissive of him she'd drop him in a heartbeat. And again, we'll talk about just how precarious his engagement actually was in the next episode, but he really is so heartless to even think that if Lavinia died, Matthew would just trade her for Mary. I suppose that's what he himself would have done so...
Mary, my dearest idiot, what are you marrying 🤦‍♀️
https://preview.redd.it/nk2zsvd93hzc1.jpg?width=584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c6f14bd1afd89016d814cba850b1993ccb3ebcce
Carson apologises to Mary for "being a disappointment" to her.
Mary responding with "Maybe". Largely because the men in her life not making her a priority isn't a novel condition for her, so she'd hardly be disappointed to be let down by yet another one. But also "maybe" because if there was one man she never thought would let her down, it's Carson.
And she admits it. "But I've relied on your support for too long to do without it entirely."
And they immediately make up. Carson saying she'll always have his support, and Mary saying he'll have hers, because he is actually her father in all the ways that matter.
She brings him his tray, and gives him a warning about Thomas, to reiterate that support.
Poor Lavinia dies and I won't share a screenshot because it's the kind of heavy-handed drama I could have lived without.
"Isn't it better this way" no darling. Not for anyone. At least, the poor girl was half-delirious, like Cora was, so we know (hopefully) she didn't mean it.
Carlisle's drama as well, "let him be with her, surely you owe her that", excuse me, sir, but other than an apology for that kiss, Mary owes Lavinia shit. She stepped aside the entire way. Helped Lavinia even, so, so many times. You can fuck right off Richard, and please, do it soon because I'm tired of seeing your stupid face.
https://preview.redd.it/8hntkakc3hzc1.jpg?width=584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6a78e9fe71ecf3c7e60d08f1d022d3e025955f2a
Also, in the midst of all this, Mary helping Anna (the secret Mrs Bates - another favourite nickname) to get married and have as good a day, and night, as possible, for being braver than Mary ever was herself.
https://preview.redd.it/6h2gyu4e3hzc1.jpg?width=584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d37de08c86caf1478c18ff68ba80c1adfd5d916
I mean, grave sites are well known as a place to be dramatic AF.
I know there wasn't much anyone could say to Matthew in that moment but Mary, you idiot, agreeing with him? Letting him make the decisions, because he's done so well so far? I know you haven't had a great track record in decision-making when it comes to your personal life, but you could, at the very least, have said nothing at all. I know you can't stand up for yourself to save your life, unless it's to save face in front of Edith, but think of maybe not agreeing with Matthew's extreme morals every once in a while (she learns this lesson, thankfully, I think Isobel trains her to it).
P.S. It took a death to persuade Robert that Sybil can make her own choices.
P.P.S. Brace yourselves: It's the big Christmas melt-down next. And it's a Long One.

Into the Top 10!!! These countries have shown (at least sometimes) that they are the best of the best when it comes to Eurovision. Many of the most iconic acts in the last half century are thanks to these nations, so without further ado, let's start the end of this countdown!

The Countries

Placement	Country	Score
6	Ukraine	228297.535
7	Ireland	212432.017
8	France	198317.935
9	Israel	192954.086
10	Greece	182795.193

These countries bring the heat! In 10th, we have Greece, who honestly wouldn’t be this high on the list if we stopped at the year 2000. Their surge in the 21st century has vaulted them up into the top 10, delivering iconic performance after iconic performance, especially in the 2000s, which occupies 4 of their top 5 slots. Above them is Israel… who, let’s face it, have been associated with controversy, to put it lightly, ever since they joined in 1973. But there is a reason why I’m only talking about them now, because even if you don’t like it, you cannot tell the story of ESC without them, as they have made their mark in this competition. Above them is our 3rd Big 5 entrant, in France, who were the rulers of early Eurovision. Their influence has waned in the decades since their last victory, but you can never count out the French, as their top entry will show you. In 7th is Ireland, whose story you know well at this point. The only country to 3 peat, and one of two countries to have a person win multiple ESC trophies, their run in the 80s and 90s will probably never be matched again in this contest. It’s the reason they are so high, but it’s also the reason why their best entries are from the opposite side of this millennium. And in 6th, just missing out on the top 5, is Ukraine, who since joining in 2003, have raised the bar at ESC. They are the youngest country (Eurovision wise) to be up here, and after I show you their best entries, you’ll see why.
Some Notable Artists: Alphabeta (Israel), Amina (France), Antique (Greece), Izhar Cohen (Israel), Dana International (Ireland), Duo Datz (Israel), Catherine Ferry (France), Go_A (Ukraine), Paul Harrington (Ireland), Agathon Iakovidis (Greece), Jamala (Ukraine), Kalomira (Greece), Kalush Orchestra (Ukraine), Niamh Kavanagh (Ireland), Noa Kirel (Israel), Koza Mostra (Greece), Johnny Logan (Ireland), Linda Martin (Ireland), Charlie McGettigan (Ireland), Marie Myriam (France), Netta (Israel), Helena Paparizou (Greece), Barbara Pravi (France), Ruslana (Ukraine), Marc Roberts (Ireland), Sakis Rouvas (Greece), Verka Serduchka (Ukraine), Natasha St-Pier (France)

The Worst Years

France 2014 Twin Twin - Moustache

Contest Ranking: 26th (last, 2 pts) My Ranking: 37th (0.553)
France has only finished last at Eurovision once. Once. This was it. A song about having everything that one could want, but still needing more (especially a mustache). This song has its moments, but man, the plagiarism in this song is only the least of its problems here. Maybe France should have wished for a beard instead, considering who was on top this year.

Israel 1996 Galit Bell - Shalom Olam

Contest Ranking: DNQ (28th qualifying round, 12 pts) My Ranking: 29th (0.809)
Israel was up and down in the 90’s. They would start the decade finishing 18th, only to finish 3rd the following year. In ‘93 they would place 24th, and in ‘94 they would place 8th. This entry wouldn’t even make the final cut of ESC, falling in the audio only qualifier. If you only listen to the video, you can see why, it’s just boring. The next time Israel would compete though would be a lot less boring…

Ireland 2007 Dervish - They Can't Stop the Spring

Contest Ranking: 24th (last, 5 pts) My Ranking: 38th (0.874)
Ireland’s slow, painful descent towards being irrelevant started here, if we are looking at results only. It probably started when the RTE didn’t want to host ESC again in ‘97, which slowly led to being complacent and such, but I digress. If you look at just the song, it’s not that bad. If you look at the live performance, you can see why this finished last. It’s like Ireland just stopped caring about ESC, and after this year, that really starts to show. In the 16 years after 2007, Ireland would only qualify 5 times, which is just one more than their win total from 1993-1997.

Greece 2023 Victor Vernicos - What They Say

Contest Ranking: DNQ (13th 2nd Semi Final, 14 pts) My Ranking: 31st (0.986)
Coming off of strong entries in 2021 and 2022 , Greece wanted to continue their post pandemic success, considering that their pre pandemic entries weren’t as great. They would select a solo male performer, which they last did in 2009. In 2009, they finished 7th, in 2023, they would not even qualify, continuing the late 2010s trend of struggling to make a mark at this competition.

Ukraine 2017 O.Torvald - Time

Contest Ranking: 24th (36 pts) My Ranking: 24th (8.798)
This was the only time Ukraine has finished outside the top 20 in their history at ESC. Usually their performance drops off a bit when they have hosting duties, as was the case with this entry. Even in years that they “underperform”, Ukraine still tries to do something different, like in this song. I especially like the ticking clocks on the singers that count down to 1, then tick back up. I mean the song is about time, after all.

The Best Years

Ireland 1994 Paul Harrington and Charlie McGettigan - Rock 'n' Roll Kids

Contest Ranking: 1st (226 pts) My Ranking: 1st (532.439**)
In my opinion, this was the peak of Ireland at Eurovision. During their infamous 90s run, Ireland just couldn’t lose, and this entry is the prime example of it. After winning the contest back to back in ‘92 and ‘93, Ireland already joined Spain, Luxembourg, and Israel as the only countries to win the contest consecutively. A popular myth associated with this year is that Ireland didn;t want to win, due to the infamous costs of hosting this competition. That is obviously not true, but it would be ironic that their best entry ever would be one that was deliberately chosen to NOT win. The RTE chose artists Paul Harrington and Charlie McGettigan to perform a piano duet in Dublin, called “Rock 'n' Roll Kids”.
Why is this song the best Irish ESC song? Why not Johnny Logan, who took part in three of Ireland’s seven victories? Why not Niamh Kavanagh, who delivered one of the great Eurovision ballads? Why not Elmear Quinn, who was responsible for Ireland’s last victory? Well dear reader, I think the answer lies, of course, in the song. “Rock 'n' Roll Kids is a song longing for the good old days of youth, evoking a sense of nostalgia. The performance felt authentic, as they sell the emotions of this song well. The song’s also very simple, as it was the only entry that night to not use an orchestra. It only features a piano and a guitar, both played by the performers. And as well as all of that, the song is very slow, allowing the audience to be absorbed into the atmosphere of this entry. It also helps that the performers harmonize incredibly well, of course. Between this entry and the interval act, Ireland could do no wrong at ESC. This was at the peak of the RTE caring about this contest, and even though they would win again two years later, this was when Ireland were on top at Eurovision (it was the record leading 6th win), and in the years since, they have slowly declined from that peak.
This entry is one of the ***Top 50* ESC songs since 1975.

France 2021 Barbara Pravi - Voilà

Contest Ranking: 2nd (499 pts) My Ranking: 2nd (533.241**)
Since the early 2000s, France’s success at ESC has been middling at best. It doesn’t help that their chanson format, which helped them gain 5 wins, kinda lost its power around the 90s. They had 2 big chances at the start of the 90s to claim another victory, but unfortunately Italy had too much experience uniting Europe, and tie breakers were not on their side. In the years since, France has had trouble trying to regain their former glory in modern times, but then comes 2021. France has gone back and forth on internal selections and national finals, and for 2019 and 2020 they opted for the former, but after COVID, they went back to a national final, called C’est vous qui decidez. From that national final came Barbara Piévic, known better as Barbara Pravi. Barbara has had a prolific songwriting career up until this point, having written for several artists, including Jaden Smith and Yannick Noah, among others. She also wrote for Valentina Tronel and Carla Lazzari, two Junior ESC participants, with the former winning with the song “J’imagine” in 2020. So safe to say that she has experience writing winning songs! In 2021, she would compete in France’s national final, and as said before would win that final with the song “Voilà”.
“Voilà'' is so French it hurts, but it showcases the power the language still has in modern day Eurovision. It’s a song about self acceptance for Pravi, showcasing her in a delicate and fragile manner. The song mixes old school French chanson with a modern production, something that France has been missing for several, several, several years. This is how you make a French ballad, retaining its raw and emotional aspects without boring everyone to death It’s meant to tell a rich, provocative story (in 3 minutes or less), and Pravi’s almost Edith Pilaf style creates that story and some, and her live performance really ties it all together. TLDR, this song is really good, if Italy didn’t exist this would have won (just like 1990, le sigh).
This entry is one of the ***Top 50* ESC songs since 1975.

Israel 2018 Netta - Toy

Contest Ranking: 1st (529 pts) My Ranking: 1st (565.656**)
The most viral Israliean entry ever, and their first winner in the 21st century! By 2017, Israel were swimming in the pool of Eurovision mediocracy, as they would have small feats of success (2015) surrounded by meh entries. In 2017, Israel would host the fifth edition of their national selection show (HaKokhav HaBa), and the artist that would get the call to go to Lisbon for ESC would be Netta Barzilai, after performing various mashups of popular songs like “Gangnam Style” and “Tik Tok”. Netta is a singer-songwriter, but what she specializes in is electronic music, as she studied it at university. In particular, Netta is a DJ, which means that she can combine various beats/sounds together to create magic, which is what her song for ESC is.
This song is… quite something. When I first heard it, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, especially the chicken noises before the first chorus. But this song is actually genius the more I listen to it. This entry is an electronic women empowerment anthem during the #MeToo movement, and it conveys that message of empowerment in such a unique way! The sound is very “unconventional”, incorporating pop, ethnic, and electronic music. This song embraces how different it is, chicken noises and all, because it’s all about being independent, not being someone’s toy (get it?), and being free to do whatever one pleases, which may include random noises. I think the live performance sells it as well, as Netta oozes confidence and charisma, which is needed for a song like this one. Let me put it like this, you come for the chicken noises, but you stay for the message (and catchiness) of the song. It also helps that Netta is a good singer too, but that’s obvious. Until “Uno” in 2020, the music video for this song was the most viewed video on the official ESC youtube channel, a testament to Netta’s strategy. Her success here has vaulted her career, but for Israel, her success made sure that Eurovision was going to Jerus- I mean Tel Aviv for the first time! (Surely nothing controversial was the cause of that change)
This entry is one of the ***Top 50* ESC songs since 1975.

Greece 2004 Sakis Rouvas - Shake It

Contest Ranking: 3rd (252 pts) My Ranking: 3rd (578.748**)
2004 was a weird statistical outlier year. The top 3 in this contest all scored above 200 points, so when adjusting for how many countries voted, the top 3 are VERY high in the all time ranks. For one of those countries, I can’t even talk about them, because they have a BIGGER statistical outlier that ranks higher, and we’ll get to that. But for Greece, this came during their 2000’s renaissance! The country was on a downwards spiral to end the 90s, but then 2001 came and changed everything. Antique’s 3rd place finish, the highest placement ever for Greece, sparked a revitalization of how the country thinks about ESC. A couple of 17th place finishes later, we have Sakis Rouvas, a former athlete turned musician who has a knack of creating smash hits. He already had 2 prior to 2004, but his next one would shatter records, both inside and outside Eurovision.
I can see why this song scored so high, but not as high as the top 2. It is incredibly danceable (I mean the song is literally called “Shake It”), appealing to men and women everywhere, and the song itself is very catchy, if not a bit simple. At the end of the day, the more simple song placed underneath the two more interesting songs (Ukraine and S+M). Greece were fully enveloped in their viral phase, which would pay off one year later, but it’s very nice to see the country do so well, they have been starving for success ever since they joined in 1974. There’s not much else I have to say about this song, except that this song would go on to be the best selling CD singles of all time in Greece, an achievement to show how far this country has come in this competition.
** This entry is one of the Top 50 ESC songs since 1975.

Ukraine 2022 Kalush Orchestra - Stefania (Стефанія)

Contest Ranking: 1st (631 pts) My Ranking: 1st (842.121**)
And now the song that I don’t know what to make of. But first, a little about the Kalush Orchestra. This group was founded in 2021 as a side project of the rap group Kalush, forming a more folk-hip hop group. They competed for the right to go to Turin for ESC in 2022, but ended up finishing second to Alina Pash. So they weren’t able to go, right? Well, about that, Pash had to withdraw from the contest due to her travel history in the region of Crimea, which has been the reason for some artists’ withdrawal in the past. So the broadcastor went to second place Kalush Orchestra to ask them if they were willing to take Pash’s place, to which they obliged.
This song was seen as a favorite, but not the main favorite to win it all. That changed when in late February, Russia began their invasion of Ukraine. The song, which was about an ode to one’s mother, suddenly took on a whole new meaning as bombs were raining on the band’s native land. This song became more than just a Eurovision entry, it became an anthem, a mournful song about what has been lost but also hopeful of the future. I might be blabbing a bit, so let me talk about the contest and the results. This song overwhelmingly won with the televote, scoring the highest percentage (94%) of points from a televote ever, which is why this song ranks so high. For me, this entry represents a side of ESC that I haven’t talked about much, which is Eurovision as a political tool. There have been many political entries in this competition, with some making the Grand Final stage while others get canned due to their political messaging. This song at its heart isn’t political, but what it represents is “political”, in the sense that war is political or something like that. For some participants, Eurovision is a platform to demonstrate their country’s culture, while for others Eurovision is a platform to send a message, whether political or not. You see the latter with Kalush Orchestra, as after their Grand Final performance they called for aid in their home country of Ukraine. Could this song have won if Russia didn’t invade Ukraine? Maybe, it definitely would have been closer with the UK and Spain. Would Kalush Orchestra and Ukrainians glady trade their ESC win for peace for their country? Of course they would. I really don’t know what point I’m trying to make here, so I’ll end it like this. “Stefania” is unlike any of the other top 50 entrants due to the background and circumstances surrounding it. But it does represent an important facet of Eurovision, which is that it serves as a platform to relay a message, any message, and that is what this entry is.
** This entry is one of the Top 50 ESC songs since 1975.

SETTING THE SCENE: In 1939, Yorkshire, once a haven of tranquility, began to resonate with the distant thunders of war. The construction of military bases turned the quiet county into a hub of wartime activity. With the war came not only fear but also profound shortages. The Abbey’s farms, tasked with meeting the increased demands for food, found themselves struggling. The military presence brought business and complications, as soldiers needed supplies, accommodation, and support. The estate faced renewed financial pressures, echoing crises of the past. But the house stood, flag waving tall, with Anna and Andy running the household. Downton becomes a sanctuary for Tom, Sybbie, Lucy, their youngest child, Marigold, Edith, and Peter. With Bertie Pelham entangled in diplomatic duties across a fracturing Europe, it made sense for Edith to come home. Tom, however, had a harsher reality. Brampton Estate was taken over by soldiers and destroyed.
On an unseasonably sunny October day, Sybbie Branson, now seventeen and as fiery in spirit as her late mother, was sitting in her bedroom painting her fingernails with her brand-new red Revlon polish. Listening to her radio, she smirked as she carefully brushed each tip, knowing that Aunt Mary, Donk, and her father would disapprove, but James would think it was just smashing. Sybbie was irresistibly drawn to the roars of a motorcycle that frequently shattered the estate’s outer grounds. Its rider, a dashing young soldier named James, had eyes as stormy as the front lines he spoke of. The young man was stationed at a nearby newly erected army base, and his tales of daring and danger entranced Sybbie.
She met him in the village as she was leaving a shop and he nearly ran her over on his motorcycle. Fired up, and rightfully so, Sybbie gave him a piece of her mind, and instead of him cowering as she expected, he smiled and told her that her cheeks were the perfect rosey shade, like a movie star when she was mad. Furious at his entitlement, she stormed off in the opposite direction. After about two minutes, she heard a motor coming close behind her. She stopped and turned around with her arms crossed. It was the boy again, and he pulled closer to her and said, “you know you want to,” holding out a spare helmet. She replied, flustered, “I know nothing of the sort!” He laughed and said, “I’m James.” Sybbie sneered and abruptly turned back around, stating, “I’m not interested, James,” and began walking back to the Abbey only to hear him yell out from behind her, “I’ll let you drive!”
Sybbie took a few more steps to avoid appearing as a pushover. As much of a car-man as her father was, he would never let her do something like this. She stopped and, with one swift motion, almost as if she levitated off the ground, spun towards him and slyly said, “Only because I’m likely better at this than you.”
James and Sybbie rode for miles; she had never felt so free. He said he had a place he wanted to show her; she saw dark clouds in the distance but was starting to warm up to James, and her rebellion kicked in. They rode off to his army base; she had never seen anything like it before and found it exciting to see the action of the trucks and the uniforms. The pair approached and parked at an airplane hangar. James held out his hand, which made Sybbie blush, which he saw and she hated, but she took his hand anyway.
He led her to the side of the hangar, where there was a skinny, steep, silver metal ladder. He started to climb up, and so did Sybbie. When they got to the top, it was a beautiful view of the rolling hills, but she thought the views at Downton were much better. However, she wasn’t going to tell him that. Sybbie wasn’t a snob about her upbringing; she tried to hide it. She and James talked until they felt raindrops and began to laugh. They made their way down to the motorcycle, where they flew through the rain back to Downton. As they got closer, Sybbie pondered if James should drop her down the drive.
As they approached the Abbey, James shouted over the motor and the rain, “this is where you live?!” This is what Sybbie hated about living at Downton, though she adored her family. “Err..yes, but -“ they were suddenly cut off by a pair of headlights beaming behind them. Sybbie’s stomach instantly dropped; she couldn’t see who it was, but she remembered how long she had been out, which would typically never be allowed. It was probably her father coming home from an outing in Thirsk. James and Sybbie proceeded down the drive, but the car began to honk even more, so James pulled over. It was, in fact, her father.
“Sybil,” Tom said sternly and loudly over the hum of now two motors and the pouring rain.
Before she even had a chance to respond, he followed with, “I don’t know what in God’s name you think you’re doing, but you’re going to get off of that bloody machine right now and out of this rain and into my car!” Each word is louder and angrier than the last. James was quiet, but Sybil didn’t sense it was out of fear; she sensed he wanted to hold his tongue so as not to further anger Tom because he knew he could if he wanted to.
“Bye…Sybil,” James said as she slid off the wet motorbike. At first, she was annoyed that he used her full name. He realized she never told him her name, only his to her.
As Sybbie dragged herself into Tom’s car, James began to re-start his engine.
“Don’t go up the drive any further, find a way to turn around here. I never want to see that bike or you again,” and then drove off in a huff.
There were only a few more yards to go in the car, and the silence was deafening. Sybbie could see her father’s hands clenching the wheel so hard his knuckles went white. They pulled up to the front of the Abbey, and Tom stopped the car. The silence continued for a moment, and then Tom let out a big sigh and dropped his head, his hands still on the steering wheel, but much more relaxed. “Sybil, what were you thinking?”
“I was thinking I’d do what Mama would do, meet new and interesting people, go on interesting adventures,” Sybbie replied. “Don’t bring your mother into this; what you did was dangerous, Sybil, out of the question. You put your li-“ Sybbie exited the car and slammed the door. Tom scoffed, not knowing whether it was more alarming that he sounded like Robert all those years ago or that raising a teenage daughter is as hard as they say.
Tom exited and marched after her, “I wasn’t finished speaking with you yet, Sybbie.” Andy opened the large front doors, and Sybbie stormed past him, thumping up the stairs and leaving a trail with every step. “You don’t know him papa” Sybbie shouted back. “And neither do you, Sybbie. That man was a stranger, and you rode on the back of his motorcycle in the almost pitch black in dangerous weather.” Sybbie paused and said, “You can’t control me forever, just like you were; I’m a free bird.” Knowing she didn’t have much invested in this young man, but knowing that statement would hurt her father, she thought it would make her the winner of the argument.
“And take that rubbish off your fingernails, too!” Tom exclaimed as she turned down the hall to bathe and dry off.
Robert, heading upstairs to change, overheard the tail end of the argument, observed the tense expression on Tom’s face, and chuckled, "Now you see how it feels, Tom." His words were light but laden with memories of Sybil's early defiance.
Later that night, the family gathered for dinner as always, but one chair, Sybbie’s, remained empty. “Where’s Sybbie?” Mary asked; Marigold replied, “She’s protesting.”
“Well, what on earth do you mean?” Chuckled Edith. She says she’s protesting the unfair and unjust oppression she is experiencing and won’t sit at the same table as a tyrant.” She turned her head and made slight eyes at Tom, then looked down back at her plate. “Well, is someone going to tell us what’s going on?”
Mary inquired, putting down her fork. “Tom?”
Tom took a breath to speak, but Robert jumped in and said “Well, Tom’s getting a taste of his own medicine.”
“Meaning?” Mary followed up.
“It means that he may be seeing too much of his own early revolutionary zeal,” Robert replied.
“Oh dear” Mary said slyly as she smirked.
Later that evening, the reality of war struck Downton directly. Air raid sirens pierced the calm night, a stark reminder of their present horrifying reality. The entire household, including the family, hurried to the servants’ hall, united in their shared vulnerability under the black shade curtains drawn tightly across every window. Their hearts raced as they listened for the sound of planes overhead, and after a few hours of silence, they deemed they were safe and could go back to bed.
Though the Abbey remained unscathed, the morning papers bore grim news: Leeds had suffered a devastating bombing. Sybbie slowly tensed up with thoughts of James having possibly been harmed. Though she met him yesterday, he was unlike any boy she had ever encountered. Sybbie swore off boys, she found them incompetent and generally immature. Aunt Mary had been talking for months about her presentation in London, but Sybbie insisted she would never dare go through with it.
But James... unlike any of the other boys she knew, challenged her, and she wanted to explore that.

The war is over! I'm sure the characters are exhilarated. I'm not unhappy about it, but I get the feeling that JF would have dragged the war years along longer (I can't be sure of this, but he did seem to thrive, writing during this era) if those scenes at the front weren't so darned expensive to shoot.
So, lots of things change. Downton is back to being a regular house (well, as regular as a house of that size can be anyway), and Mrs Bates is dead, but lots of things remain the same, like Robert's dislike of Richard (running off to the village to meet with Jarvis to avoid seeing him), and Cora's sudden cruelty crusade.
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I get that JF wanted to give us a taste of how the upper classes *actually* were like back in the day, but it is quite jarring when it happens. So far on the show Cora has been largely like what any woman of her social class would be, if a bit nicer in general. I did forget just how much she herself grows and mellows as the years pass, they all do become much kinder.
Anyway, for now, she wants Robert to get rid of Bates because his wife killed herself, and she wants to get rid of "lame" Matthew too.
Cora: Robert! I want him to learn to be as independent as he can, and I want Mary to get on with her life. What’s wrong with that?
So, in the previous episode, Cora lied to Lavinia to make her think Matthew needed her, to get her back to Downton, Carlisle manhandled Mary, and basically told her to fall in line, let Matthew be Lavinia's business, or else, and yet it seems neither plan worked, at least not to perfection, because apparently putting obligations in the way between two people who love each other doesn't mean the love goes away. Who would have thought.
Robert asking Cora if there's something about Matthew and Mary that she's not telling him about is quite, quite significant.
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He doesn't understand what's going on. He thought Mary's love now was one sided. he thought, once Lavinia was back, things would sort themselves out, Mary would focus on Richard, as much as he hated him, and yet there Matthew and Mary were, still orbiting around each other.
What he doesn't know of course, is that Mary didn't refuse Matthew because she didn't love him. She refused him because in spite of the fact that both their families wanted the match, and the fact that since her reputation was ruined in London it would be hard for her to ever find as good a match as that, she was too much of a coward to admit the story about Pamuk. She loved him too much to lie. So she let herself suffer in silence for two years after Matthew left, and then it was all brought inevitably back to the surface after he came back.
And from Matthew's end, he had his feelings well locked away when he and Lavinia came to Downton. But of course, that's not sustainable. The more time he spent with Mary the more they came to the surface, so it was impossible for him NOT to want to spend time with Mary, even though he was engaged to Lavinia.
So Robert was having trouble, seeing all that but knowing 1/10th of the story.
Robert: If thinking that trying to protect Mary with a ring of steel is silly, then, yes, I am very silly.
My good man. Finally. For all he says he doesn't understand, he at least KNOWS. He knows that binding Mary, his very independent eldest daughter, in a marriage of convenience from which she won't be able to escape, to "protect" her from feelings beyond her control, is silly (let's be honest Robert, it's beyond silly, it's fucking horrible.)
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This asshole. He does make me want to quote Milton's Paradise Lost:
"Better to reign in Hell, than to serve in Heaven" Sounds like Carlisle.
Like the sweet talking devil that he is, he tries to lure Anna in the same way he tried to lure Carson: through her love and devotion to Mary. He pretends to want her to spy on Mary, for Mary's sake. Because he wants to make Mary happy.
Thank God, Anna is way smarter than that. And sees straight through him and his bullshit. I also like how she resembles Mary here: Carlisle asks her not to mention her conversation to Mary. Anna doesn't want to make an enemy out of him. But she also doesn't want to leave Mary in ignorance. So she doesn't tell Mary, but she tells Carson.
Perfect character work, honestly.
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Mary: Have you seen the boys’ haircuts the women are wearing in Paris?
Matthew: I hope you won’t try that.
Mary: I might.
I *love* this scene.
First of all, Matthew, well done giving yourself away, now we all know you have a thing for Mary's hair.
Second of all, Matthew, FFS 😭
He says it SO flirtatiously. His fiancée is right there. Her fiancé is right there. He's forgotten himself. He grew so used to their usual rapport, all this time spending their days together because he was injured he FORGOT that actually, he's not free to show his appreciation for her.
Also, look at Mary. She's surprised. And slightly pissed off.
First of all, he brings her into an awkward situation. Carlisle has already tried to force her to his will, she doesn't know how he might react to Matthew being so openly appreciative of her. Or so confident in giving her directions with such abandon, when Carlisle had to literally push her against a wall to make her see his way.
Second of all, honestly, how dare he show appreciation now. When she lowered herself so far down she offered to be his nurse TWICE only for him to reject her.
But she's Mary Crawley, and she loves this idiot. So she doesn't react badly. She takes it all in, and just says she might try it. And if they hadn't figured themselves out she'd have shaved her head just to piss him off (kidding. But she'd have definitely cut her hair).
Speaking of third parties present for this moment:
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Lavinia: I’m not sure how feminine it is.
Mary: I’m not sure how feminine I am.
Richard: Very, I’m glad to say.
Note: I added Violet's reaction because this is where she starts to understand things are more serious than she thought. Yes, Mary is going ahead with her engagement with Carlisle, but her reaction here is serious. God knows Mary has a sharp tongue, the fact that she didn't lash out and put Matthew in his place for this comment? Not even an ever so slight "well it's my hair, my business"?? Very serious.
Also, I *love* Mary's response to Lavinia's comment.
The poor girl tried to salvage the situation for Matthew. Making it seem like it was up for grabs to make comments about the haircut in relation to Mary. But Mary's "I'm not sure how feminine I am" is exquisite. Because first of all, it's a very slight show of vulnerability. Every woman has questioned that. We're judged for our femininity from the moment we're born, and so has Lady Mary Crawley. But she's a confident woman who isn't afraid of saying this openly.
And also, in her case, it's largely true. Because if we look at what was considered Feminine, for the time, it wasn't Mary. Mary was not the Angel in the Home. She was not a docile creature with no thoughts and no opinions, there to serve her Mastehusband and bear him children and not speak a peep. Mary looked at that and said yeah, no thanks, that's not me, that will never be me, let that image perish. She made her own version of womanhood and she made it fit her size and she was proud of it, as she should have been. Even if that made her very male-coded for the time.
Richard's response is ignorant and stupid and superficial, and the only reason I added it was to show the difference between Matthew's gentle, flirtatious comment, Lavinia's kindness, Mary's thoughtful and intelligent response, and Richard's callous and authoritative manner, thinking he can decide for Mary who she is.
Omg he can fuck right off, when is he out I can't stand writing about him anymore.
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Dear Carson describing his paternal love for Mary simply to tell Mrs Hughes that she doesn't know her, not like he does, but not judging her for not knowing Mary well enough to understand her, or why Carson is so devoted to her. Mary certainly never judged anyone for buying the mask she wore in front of the world at large.
Speaking of devotion:
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Mary: Well, I wish she'd come to me first. So, you mean you'd be uncomfortable working for a spymaster? How disappointing of you. And I always thought you were fond of me.
Mary is hurt, deeply by this. For so many reasons.
First of all, like I said in the previous episode, it had been a shock to her that Carson would uproot his life for her sake. She knows him as well as he knows her, and she knows how much Downton means to him. And while her mother pushed her to Carlisle for the family's sake, and her father closed his eyes and ears to all happening around him, the fact that there was ONE parental figure who'd show such care for her had moved her deeply, and had given her strength.
From what she says to him "We'd educate him together" she must have had conversations with Carson over what to do with Richard. Mary did not go into that marriage with her eyes closed. She hoped that as much as Richard thought he'd tie her up with his male superiority, she'd be able to bend things around him via societal rules and regulations. Smart woman.
But now Carson was leaving her. Not only that, he was leaving her KNOWING he was leaving her to deal with this horrible, horrible man by herself. Just like the rest of her family did.
And Mary wasn't an idiot. She grew up in aristocratic circles. She must have known, must have seen before, what bad marriages did to women. So she's so afraid. And so hurt. And so bereft. And of course, she dismisses Carson, and says "and I always thought you were fond of me" because to Mary, if you love someone, you don't abandon them when they need you the most. She didn't abandon Matthew. She didn't abandon Sybil. Or Tom. So clearly, this wasn't love.
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The way she looks at Richard. With so much resentment. But she knows this is a situation she created, largely. Although, the fact that she did it mostly for her family's sake kills me.
Something I hadn't remembered: Mary didn't say that "Butlers will be two a penny" line in front of Carson.
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We all know that Carson didn't "abandon" Mary. Not really. I think, because this was still early years, I think he thought that by telling her the truth of her intended, she'd be persuaded to break it off with him. He hoped she'd at least question Richard over his tactics to get her so very trapped under his thumb. But poor Carson doesn't know WHY Mary is with Richard. And that of course, she wouldn't question his tactics. She's well aware of them. All she could do here was to protect herself by lying. By trying not to let Richard know just how desperate she is.
Carson tries to get the same idea across by speaking to Robert. I think, again, he's trying to change the course of Mary's life, somehow, but I don't think he's aware how relactant Robert is in interfering with Mary's plans. Although God knows why.
Carson: *going on about how awful Richard is and that he wouldn't leave Downton to work for him*
Robert: I'll take that as a compliment for myself and for my house.
Yeah, sure. Completely ignore the fact that your daughter's future husband is an absolute asshole.
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She's so happy about Matthew, she doesn't even care her own life is an absolute mess. Violet cares more about Mary's life than she herself does.
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Look at Cora's face when Matthew announces he wants to marry Lavinia at Downton and Cora watches as Robert agrees readily and Mary just about dies.
Oh sure, now you realise what you've done. You fucking idiot.
I cannot deal with Mary here. She was so happy for Matthew, that he'd get the life he deserved. But to her, here, he's chosen Lavinia over her. Twice now.
Because he accepted Lavinia's offer of caring for him, when he refused Mary's offer. Twice. And if she thought that before, he was doing it because he couldn't walk again, now she thinks it's because he simply loves Lavinia more than he loves her. Because she couldn't have been more obvious in her love for him, and she knows it.
And so she sits there, after being told by her second father that he's abandoned her because her future husband is a piece of shit, to watch the love of her life pick another woman over her.
Someone take the TV away from me because I'm about to throw it at the wall.
By the way, we see Robert place Matthew's needs ahead of Mary's for the millionth time, by agreeing to have Matthew's wedding at Downton. For all her flaws, Cora at least did what she THOUGHT was best for Mary, as misguided as that was. Robert simply places Mary's need second to Matthew's, and he does it without a second thought.
I don't want to hate him, so I'm hoping, HOPING, he does it because he hopes this might give Mary more time to break it off with Richard. I'm sincerely hoping that's the case, otherwise Robert is up for Worst Father of the Year award.
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Mary is done with everyone's bullshit, including her own.
"Aren't all of us stuck with the choices we make?" I don't know who I hope was in the receiving end of that cold, cold look from her. I'm torn between Cora and Matthew.
Mary blames herself, of course, for the situation she's found herself in. And as far as Matthew and Richard are concerned, that's largely true. Even if it was things outside of her control that led her to make said choices, she made them. And maybe she did it for the family name, and for herself, since she was so afraid of her secret, and for Matthew, largely, but she made them. And this is the kind of cruel woman she would become if things evolved the way they were going.
Because yes, we're all stuck with the choices we make. But we can't ignore the reasons that lead us to make said choices. And we should leave some space in our hearts to be kind to others, and to ourselves. And that's true for Ethel, and for you, Mary dear. Don't beat yourself up so harshly, you don't deserve it either.
It's time. Violet has had enough of everyone's bullshit.
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I love his shock at the words "Mary is STILL in love with you"
He certainly hadn't missed the fact that she loved him now. Nobody's that devoted to a person they don't love. But I think this is the moment he finally learns she's always loved him. Poor boy.
I also love his response, because he makes it obvious that this is NOT the first time he's considered any of this.
Matthew: Lavinia came back against my orders, determined to look after me for the rest of my life, which meant that she would wash me and f--feed me and...do things that only the most dedicated nurse would undertake, and all with no hope of children or any improvement. [...] Do you think it would be right for me to throw her over because I can walk? To dismiss her because I no longer have need of her services?
First of all, it becomes clear that he doesn't know of Cora and Richard's involvement in Lavinia's return. Lavinia didn't come back "against his orders". Lavinia came back because Cora's letter made her believe Matthew would welcome her return.
Second of all, he says "Do you think it would be right for me to throw her over because I can walk?"
This tells us another thing: Matthew did not take Lavinia back because he was unaware of his, or Mary's feelings. He was perfectly aware of them. He simply hadn't wanted to bind Mary to him when he thought she could find a better life elsewhere. He loved her too much. He allowed Lavinia back in his life, and now the only thing, the one thing that kept him bound to her was not his feelings, but his duty.
Richard is largely responsible for this. Because he brought Lavinia back for his sake. Mary and Matthew are largely responsible for this, because they let their obligations and duties to other rank higher than their duties to themselves and to each other.
It takes two to tango, and it takes four to ruin two relationships. Mary and Matthew had been stupid, yes. But they did their best with a difficult situation, and they were largely duty bound more to societal rules than to themselves and to each other. Lavinia WAS an innocent victim of circumstance, although she would have saved herself had she been allowed to leave, and Richard was a knowing bringer of misery so, fuck him, honestly.
https://preview.redd.it/1nn6usdmnmyc1.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9fb52b8f7401051a71b7befb2517bf6ddf01f815
I do love Matthew's face when Violet says he "spoke like a man of honour" a face that screams "fuck my honour" if I've ever seen one.
https://preview.redd.it/6bv84ayhomyc1.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46b4c8825ccd228152523b9dc187a911a012da24
Mary thinking of a honeymoon with Carlisle and dissociating. Regardless of anything else, I'm so, so glad she wasn't stuck with him. Not for longer than this stupid engagement anyway. I think she'd have managed it, somehow. She a very strong person. But it would have been a difficult life. Love brings out the best in people, and it's no wonder she was at her best when there was so much love in her life.
She also finally questions Carlisle about his spy plan. I love that she made sure to protect Anna, when he asks "She told you, did she?" she clarifies that "she told someone else" and she protects Carson too.
Also, genius:
https://preview.redd.it/wdm1ywo5omyc1.jpg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7899744f5fcecd2bda33506b617d24730d169be8
Carlisle: Are you still in love with Matthew Crawley?
Mary: Of course not! Would I ever admit to loving a man who preferred someone else over me?
Such a devious asshole. She denies loving Matthew, and then says she'd never admit to loving someone who picked someone else over her.
Essentially, she's telling the truth. Although, the fact that she thinks he picked Lavinia because he no longer loved hedidn't love her enough, makes my heart hurt. She always thinks she's overruled in the affections of the people in her life by someone/something else.
Robert picks Matthew over her. Carson picks his honour over her. Matthew picks Lavinia over her.
In the end, the last one especially, is not true. And not only because Matthew DID love Mary more, but also because, in the end, regardless of whether or not Lavinia got sick, he would pick Mary over his honour. He DID pick Mary over his honour. Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself but I need something to hold on to when people are being so stupid right now.
I love that in all this mess, she STILL thinks of Sybil.
https://preview.redd.it/bwj4ecfbomyc1.jpg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=191825bb08216796f75a9a706b7df4fea9cc7db0
While all this happens in Mary's life, Sybil is eloping with Tom. She'd said she had a headache and Mary, devoted sister that she is, finds out because she went to her room to wish her goodnight.
https://preview.redd.it/i1zmeo3eomyc1.jpg?width=1119&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2a9348e001efd78337eeee2a527be5ef80ac532b
I also love that it was Mary *and* Edith that went after Sybil. I know Mary needed someone to drive the car, but some Crawley girls solidarity is so nice to see. If only JF had realised that a healthy relationship between the sisters was much more enjoyable than them being at each others throats 😒
Mary "of course Mama and Papa will hate it"
Tom "Why should they"
Mary "Oh, pipe down"
She's hilarious. She doesn't dismiss them, but she dismisses their stupidity in running away, and Tom's refusal of reality, in this instance. But she treats him So Well.
She's honest, that she'll try to change Sybil's mind. But she also shows him respect. When he says he'll return the car in the morning she accepts it, she offers him money, out of consideration, but when he refuses it she respects him and moves on. God knows she is exceptional in her manners, and in considering others, when she wants to be. Clearly her sister saw something in this man, and Mary will treat him with the respect he deserves, not only as just another human being, but as her sister's choice, which will become more apparent as Tom and Sybil's relationship progresses.
https://preview.redd.it/gtxdk73gomyc1.jpg?width=1119&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=887f23ceb3513cc82a8120ce049d28865aaa4ed0
Also, sorry, Isobel, you can't put Mary's charm in the barrel for the village children. To think, he thought he could give her up, when he couldn't even give up her childhood toy, the one she gave him so he could have a piece of home when he was at the front. Presumably, like Isobel said, he was home now, but he wasn't really, because Mary is his home, like he is hers.
And on that positive note, see you next week for the 2.8. Yet another pain-fest!

(Contains lots of spoilers)
I’m rewatching for the 345th time and on season 3 … As devastating as it was, Edith getting jilted by Strallen, set her on a better course.
She wouldn’t have met Gregson, inherited the magazine that made her “one of the interesting women of the day”, had Marigold and then eventually met and married Bertie.
So not only did she recover and end up with a wonderful life … she became much more confident, and stopped trying to compete with Mary … which made her a much more likable and interesting character.

Edit: Thank you for the interest! Will be out by next week 🩷
I have 10 of these postcards, illustrated by Rachel Ignotofsky! To claim please comment your country, which one you'd like, and a simple writing prompt for me! Thank you :D
The ones I have are:
• Mary Agnes Chase
• Marie Curie
• Florence Bascom
• Karen Horney
• Nettie Stevens
• Marjory Stoneman Douglas
• Emmy Noether
• Lillian Gilbreth
• Edith Clarke
• Lise Meitner
Flair not needed but a thank you is appreciated! And exchanges are ofc welcome 🥰 Will leave this open for a bit, I will PM you for your info once I see your comment!
Felt like writing a bit to take my mind off things, Lately I've been questioning if I have it in me to continue a soon to be 6yrs old friendship of mine lmao it suuuucks... but with time I'll know the answer I guess! It is quite complicated, and I don't know anything, I just know it in my heart that this isn't what a friendship should feel like, and maybe she wasn't my match this whole time, I was just too kind and understanding on a delusional level, burning myself in the process 😭😭
But hey, that's my problem and I'll be just fine! Just a bit bothered by it. In Chinese there's a saying 头大了, it means smtg like "my head is growing largeexpanding from the sheer amount of thoughts filling it" yeah that's me rn 😆 I hope the TL makes sense I'm bye-lingual