So, very unofficially I was told that a opening was about to come up for a government manager position. The position they are trying to fill is one I have been preforming for them for a few years as a onsite contractor. I just kind of helped them out when I could adding it to my duties(meeting with contactors, scheduling contractors work around day to day activities on the property etc.) I was told today they are going to finally hire someone to fill this void. I had applied for this position in the past at another location but never got a response. Today I was told that for my area they are going to be filling that position and asked if i was still interested. I said of course the pay would be about the same except id get government benefits. I was told to apply when it opened up that multiple people higher up the chain were aware that I had been preforming the job and my name had already kind of been tossed around that i would be a good fit. however the person who told me this also said that they really need to hire someone with a schedule a letter or a veteran. Again unofficially said if i could get a Schedule A it would all but guarantee me the position. I looked over some of the documentation and i don't see anything that is a clear cut case they only one that kind of applies on the self claimed disability form is i am morbidly obese and have high blood pressure due to it. The last time I applied i was told that having a schedule A letter would help my chances of getting hired so i asked my doctor and he would fill out the paper work and he refused saying they are really referring to someone missing a limb or something that my case wouldn't apply. Even talking to other contacts working for the government they have told me that lots of people they know got it for less serious conditions and that i should be able to get it. I'm not sure how to proceed in this situations i don't want to get the letter if I'm not entitled to it but I'm kind of being told lots of people have gotten it for less of a reason. Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated- Thanks

Hello
I (26m) am currently working in a retail sales environment. It is a 100% commission based job, and I am taking home an average of about $6,000/mo after taxes. I am married, and I have a 4.5 yo and a 9 month old. I am currently the only source of income for the family.
My old co worker (30m) is currently working for one of our companies competitors (both companies are the top 2 in the US and go back and forth between which is bette more popular). He is currently averaging just about the same pay (maybe like $100-200 less), BUT he has only been working there for 7 months, and his job has a base salary.
The benefit of my job, is that I have technically have the potential to make more money, however that comes along with each month’s pay varying, sometimes pretty wildly which is one of my main gripes. One month I bring home $7,750 (after taxes) then 2 months later I bring home $4,310 (after taxes). That’s a $3,440 variation, and only a few months separating them. This sometimes leaves me feeling pretty strapped for cash on the below average paychecks.
The other major issue is I have is absolutely no PTO at all. If you want to take a vacation, or even just have something come up in your life that you need some time off for, you’re screwed. I honestly feel completely trapped and like I have no life outside of work. And I also feel like my family isn’t getting the best out of it either, my 4.5yo has never been on a vacation in her life which makes me feel terrible :/
The benefits of my ex co workers job is the pay is fairly consistent because of the base salary, AND he gets 180 hours of PTO a year which is crazy to me. The negative is that he does have to drive to clients houses, and make sales, but they give him the leads so it sounds pretty easy. They also give you a company car and a gas card, so there’s no extra expenses due to driving to the clients houses.
He has received 5 months commission so far, and the first 2 months the company paid him the base salary plus $1,500 so he was making about $4k (after tax) for the first 2 months, then about the same as me for the next 5, but consistent. Meaning yes, he doesn’t have the ability to make as high of highs, however, he doesn’t drop off as hard either. Out of all of his checks the variation is only about $1k ($5,200 worst month, $6,200 best).
Do you think the positives of the more consistent pay, and the PTO are worth changing jobs?
TL:DR Would you rather get paid slightly less, but get PTO and more consistent pay? Or have the ability to make slightly more, but have the pay be less consistent, and get no PTO?

Hello
I (26m) am currently working in a retail sales environment. It is a 100% commission based job, and I am taking home an average of about $6,000/mo after taxes. I am married, and I have a 4.5 yo and a 9 month old. I am currently the only source of income for the family.
My old co worker (30m) is currently working for one of our companies competitors (both companies are the top 2 in the US and go back and forth between which is bette more popular). He is currently averaging just about the same pay (maybe like $100-200 less), BUT he has only been working there for 7 months, and his job has a base salary.
The benefit of my job, is that I have technically have the potential to make more money, however that comes along with each month’s pay varying, sometimes pretty wildly which is one of my main gripes. One month I bring home $7,750 (after taxes) then 2 months later I bring home $4,310 (after taxes). That’s a $3,440 variation, and only a few months separating them. This sometimes leaves me feeling pretty strapped for cash on the below average paychecks.
The other major issue is I have is absolutely no PTO at all. If you want to take a vacation, or even just have something come up in your life that you need some time off for, you’re screwed. I honestly feel completely trapped and like I have no life outside of work. And I also feel like my family isn’t getting the best out of it either, my 4.5yo has never been on a vacation in her life which makes me feel terrible :/
The benefits of my ex co workers job is the pay is fairly consistent because of the base salary, AND he gets 180 hours of PTO a year which is crazy to me. The negative is that he does have to drive to clients houses, and make sales, but they give him the leads so it sounds pretty easy. They also give you a company car and a gas card, so there’s no extra expenses due to driving to the clients houses.
He has received 5 months commission so far, and the first 2 months the company paid him the base salary plus $1,500 so he was making about $4k (after tax) for the first 2 months, then about the same as me for the next 5, but consistent. Meaning yes, he doesn’t have the ability to make as high of highs, however, he doesn’t drop off as hard either. Out of all of his checks the variation is only about $1k ($5,200 worst month, $6,200 best).
Do you think the positives of the more consistent pay, and the PTO are worth changing jobs?
TL:DR Would you rather get paid slightly less, but get PTO and more consistent pay? Or have the ability to make slightly more, but have the pay be less consistent, and get no PTO?

Hello
I (26m) am currently working in a retail sales environment. It is a 100% commission based job, and I am taking home an average of about $6,000/mo after taxes. I am married, and I have a 4.5 yo and a 9 month old. I am currently the only source of income for the family.
My old co worker (30m) is currently working for one of our companies competitors (both companies are the top 2 in the US and go back and forth between which is bette more popular). He is currently averaging just about the same pay (maybe like $100-200 less), BUT he has only been working there for 7 months, and his job has a base salary.
The benefit of my job, is that I have technically have the potential to make more money, however that comes along with each month’s pay varying, sometimes pretty wildly which is one of my main gripes. One month I bring home $7,750 (after taxes) then 2 months later I bring home $4,310 (after taxes). That’s a $3,440 variation, and only a few months separating them. This sometimes leaves me feeling pretty strapped for cash on the below average paychecks.
The other major issue is I have is absolutely no PTO at all. If you want to take a vacation, or even just have something come up in your life that you need some time off for, you’re screwed. I honestly feel completely trapped and like I have no life outside of work. And I also feel like my family isn’t getting the best out of it either, my 4.5yo has never been on a vacation in her life which makes me feel terrible :/
The benefits of my ex co workers job is the pay is fairly consistent because of the base salary, AND he gets 180 hours of PTO a year which is crazy to me. The negative is that he does have to drive to clients houses, and make sales, but they give him the leads so it sounds pretty easy. They also give you a company car and a gas card, so there’s no extra expenses due to driving to the clients houses.
He has received 5 months commission so far, and the first 2 months the company paid him the base salary plus $1,500 so he was making about $4k (after tax) for the first 2 months, then about the same as me for the next 5, but consistent. Meaning yes, he doesn’t have the ability to make as high of highs, however, he doesn’t drop off as hard either. Out of all of his checks the variation is only about $1k ($5,200 worst month, $6,200 best).
Do you think the positives of the more consistent pay, and the PTO are worth changing jobs?
TL:DR Would you rather get paid slightly less, but get PTO and more consistent pay? Or have the ability to make slightly more, but have the pay be less consistent, and get no PTO?

Job 1 - In my preferred career path - Branch of one of the biggest companies worldwide in its industry - Huge opportunities to learn - M-F from 8 to 4:30 - 4 weeks of vacation + public holidays off - Long commute, 1 hour in the morning and 1-1.5 hours in the afternoon - Company bus, so no gas or car maintenance - The norm for this career path in my country is 6 days/week with 1-2 weeks of vacation - Salary is approximately 30-60% higher than the norm
Job 2 - In my non-preferred career path - Also a branch of one of the biggest companies worldwide in its industry - Very few opportunities to learn - Also M-F from 8 to 4:30 - Also 4 weeks of vacation + public holidays off - Short walking commute, 10 minutes each way - The norm for this career path in my country is 5-6 days/week with 2-4 weeks of vacation. - Salary is approximately 50-70% higher than the norm.
Job 1 is the type of job that brings me joy and a sense of accomplishment. I've done it before and loved it. It's something I see myself working for at least a couple of years. But the commute sucks. I already worked in a company that was located at a similar distance, and despite not driving, the traffic and the hours spent on the bus were soul-crushing. After work, I only ate and slept. I had no energy for anything else. ❗️But I'm not sure if it was because I hated the company or that's how the commute makes you feel. The best-case scenario is that I'll spend around 44 hours commuting every month. Only 2 levels: Specialists and Manager, so if decide to advance, unless the manager quit, it would have to be at another company.
Job 2 is like a comfort zone job. It's not bad, but there's no room for advancement. There are very few types of things to do, but a huge volume of work. Also 2 levels only. Don't see myself as a manager. If I move to another company to learn more (at the same level), I'll probably be forced to take a pay cut. I don't want to move for at least 3 years, but I don't want to feel stuck every day. All my friends and family vote for this job. I'll spend around 7.3 hours commuting each month.
Last job was on my preferred career path with a 25-minute walking distance each way. ❗️I'm not sure if it was because I loved the company and the job itself but I felt so full of energy after every day. I finally had a life and hobbies.
It should be mentioned that I am currently without a partner, children, or pets. I probably will not have the luxury of this much time in a couple of years.
For the same pay, which job would you go for?

Job 1 - In my preferred career path - Branch of one of the biggest companies worldwide in its industry - Huge opportunities to learn - M-F from 8 to 4:30 - 4 weeks of vacation + public holidays off - Long commute, 1 hour in the morning and 1-1.5 hours in the afternoon - Company bus, so no gas or car maintenance - The norm for this career path in my country is 6 days/week with 1-2 weeks of vacation - Salary is approximately 30-60% higher than the norm
Job 2 - In my non-preferred career path - Also a branch of one of the biggest companies worldwide in its industry - Very few opportunities to learn - Also M-F from 8 to 4:30 - Also 4 weeks of vacation + public holidays off - Short walking commute, 10 minutes each way - The norm for this career path in my country is 5-6 days/week with 2-4 weeks of vacation. - Salary is approximately 50-70% higher than the norm.
Job 1 is the type of job that brings me joy and a sense of accomplishment. I've done it before and loved it. It's something I see myself working for at least a couple of years. But the commute sucks. I already worked in a company that was located at a similar distance, and despite not driving, the traffic and the hours spent on the bus were soul-crushing. After work, I only ate and slept. I had no energy for anything else. ❗️But I'm not sure if it was because I hated the company or that's how the commute makes you feel. The best-case scenario is that I'll spend around 44 hours commuting every month. Only 2 levels: Specialists and Manager, so if decide to advance, unless the manager quit, it would have to be at another company.
Job 2 is like a comfort zone job. It's not bad, but there's no room for advancement. There are very few types of things to do, but a huge volume of work. Also 2 levels only. Don't see myself as a manager. If I move to another company to learn more (at the same level), I'll probably be forced to take a pay cut. I don't want to move for at least 3 years, but I don't want to feel stuck every day. All my friends and family vote for this job. I'll spend around 7.3 hours commuting each month.
Last job was on my preferred career path with a 25-minute walking distance each way. ❗️I'm not sure if it was because I loved the company and the job itself but I felt so full of energy after every day. I finally had a life and hobbies.
It should be mentioned that I am currently without a partner, children, or pets. I probably will not have the luxury of this much time in a couple of years.
For the same pay, which job would you go for?

For the past few weeks, my grandparents had been feeling emotionally uncomfortable at the adult daycare center as of lately. Why? Because they are dealing with a stalking-and-creeping and mentally unstable member who always kept creeping around my grandfather. And here is the situation.
So my grandparents have been in the Adult Daycare Center for quite awhile. But there is a psychotic and mental unstable elderly member had been eyeing on my grandpa. Not only that, this crazy lady even said to my grandma that she would be happy to be my grandpa's mistress. There is another time she would say to my grandfather, "I don't care if the staff members yelled or screamed at me, because I'm obsessed with you." I have spoke to the director and staff members, but they kept saying this crazy lady is mentally unstable. But would this consider as "Emotionally Harassment." I do understand that the reason why the director or staff members couldn't say anything because they are afraid of losing their job even though they already acknowledge on this ridiculous situation for at least two years already.
There are several scenarios that my grandfather has trying to avoid this mentally unstable lady who has been stalking him for the past two years. For instance, when my grandfather is going inside the gym and leave the gym the next five minutes. Why? Because this mentally unstable lady would rush inside the gym room and stand close or behind just to watch him workout. In fact, every adult daycare center has a security camera, feel free to ask them.
Another situation is when my grandfather goes to the bingo room or most of all...the bathroom, this mentally unstable lady will either wait for him to come out and stare at him. Like seriously?!! Why would I want my grandparents, going to the adult daycare center, and feeling emotionally uncomfortable? But most importantly, they even got into paranoia with the whole situation. They even spoke to the staffs and employees. But they only make an excuse, "This lady is not normal, she is mentally disabled, so we cannot do anything about it." This is absolutely not an excuse, it is called "emotional harassments." If otherwise, sexual bullying behavior. But seriously, does the staff members EVEN CARE or they find it is funny to watch. This is not normal. This is call stupidity. In fact, some of the insiders even TOLD me about this situation. Some of them are staffs, while some of them are elderly members who have been shaking their head just to watch this ongoing. It also made BOTH of my grandparents emotionally uncomfortable that they do not want to go this adult daycare center anymore. And they even had to deal with them nonsense for at least two years.
As mentioned before, my grandparents have spoken to the staff members in the past. I remember that my grandparents said that the staff did gave a "verbal warning" to the mentally unstable lady to stop following around other my grandfather. But after awhile, this crazy lady done it again.
Here is another horrible situation, and we are talking about placing the mentally unstable lady in the same bus with my grandparents. Even though these staffs and director all know about this situation already. And this is where I did ask the transportation bus driver and told him about this crazy lady. He did say that because this crazy lady also lived in the northeast section, just like my grandparents, so he has to follow the policy to pick this crazy lady up. Here is the truth, there is ANOTHER TRANSPORTATION BUS that goes to the northeast section, but that the bus is full. So, here is my simple question: why not switch a normal elderly member who has no obsession with my grandfather into our bus but put this crazy lady back to the original bus instead. Believe or not, my grandparents did spoke to the staffs. Guess what? The staff members said, "This crazy lady just enjoys sitting the same bus, so we couldn't do anything about it." But I'm sorry, are these staff members had been bribe or been paying for doing this. Because, it is obviously something will get out of hand for sure. Like I said, this is absolutely emotionally uncomfortable because we have a mentally disable who has sexual attention towards another member who already has a wife. I really hope these staffs understand that stopping this crazy lady doesn't make them discriminating an mentally ill or disable person, it is basically stopping this crazy lady to continue to HARASS other fellow member who feels emotional paranoia every day.
This stalking-and-creeping mentally disable lady have cause my grandparents frustrated with this situation almost everyday. Why? Because the staff members couldn't do anything about it, even though they already knew about the situation. Again, if these folks are afraid of losing their job and allow to let this happen without making sure to protect the loved ones at all cost, then what is the point to have my grandparents OR any married retired couples to come into this adult daycare center in the first place. And besides, if you have a loved one who works at an adult daycare center, and some elderly member creeping around and inside the office every day, would that be seriously ignoring? Better yet, emotionally unconfortable?
When it comes to stalkers and creepers who are mentally disabled, I have come across a guy in my days as well. Use my story as an example. So when I was a teenager, I walk to my high school by myself all the time. But there is a stalkecreeper kept following me to at the back of the school building. He even sneaked into the building without being caught, which is why it is terrible. There is even one incident, when my school teacher wasn't available but the substitute teacher did. He would sneak into my class and try to harass me. I remember I left from the classroom, because I knew the substitute teacher doesn't even care at all. To this day, I'm still getting nightmares. In fact, when I'm about to get home, he will wait for me at the school entrance. So I have two options. I can drop out or transfer to a different school instead. But luckily, my third option was to walk to school and get home with a group of trusted friends. The good thing is that everyone that I knew lives very close to where I lived. What a relief, right? But in the adult daycare center, if the staff members couldn't solve this issue for the past two years and allowing an mentally unstable person to sit the same exact bus with my grandparents without solving it, then it is called doing it by intentionally purpose.
So back to my point, when it comes to stalkers and creepers, there is no way to avoid it unless someone in the adult day care center like the staffs, bus driver, coordinator, or even the director would find a way to solve this ongoing problem. They could either remove or switch this mentally unstable person from the SAME bus with my grandparents. Otherwise, in the long run, I don't think it is a good idea if things get out of control. I speak to my grandparents if they want to switch to a different adult daycare center instead. But they do enjoy coming here because of the wonderful gifts and resources at this adult daycare center.
Don't get me wrong. My grandparents and I DO NOT have problems with people with disability or mental problems UNLESS they created an uncomfortable situation due to its mentally unstable behavior. Creeping behind, sexual bullying, or playing cat-and-mouse game at the daycare center is unacceptable. It is not right, it is called stupidity. Keep this in mind, making sure that the elderly members would get home safe-and-sound without feeling "paranoia" or "emotionally uncomfortable" it is better off to solve it than wait until later. In fact, the staff members or even the bus coordinators must take this seriously to solve this situation rather than just ignore it and let the married couple feel some type of way; otherwise things can get out of hand for sure.
Keywords: philadelphia, philly, penn asian senior services, city council, city mayor of philadelphia, penn village adult daycare, philadelphia senior citizens resource center, grace adult day care center, germantown adult daycare center, adult center, philadelphia corporation for aging, pcdc, philadelphia chinatown, northeast adult daycare, investor, business owners, operation coordinator, bus transportation, bus coordinator, mercy fleet, board of directors, stalker, creeper

I (33F) went back to university a few years ago to pursue a different career. In order to work in this field, in addition to your degree, you need to do a year internship and pass four board exams. I want to specialize within the field, which requires passing a further three specializing exams.
I completed my internship in January this year. It was an incredibly toxic workplace with a very high turnover. I worked 60 hour weeks. I was my managers punching bag and scapegoat and at some point a part of me just shut down in order to get through it. I had three coworkers from different departments approach me separately about how I was being treated and that I should report it to the regulatory board.
I have passed three of the four board exams. Two of them last year and one earlier this year. I failed the fourth exam and will have to retake it in August. Because I basically completed my internship and am just left with one board exam I am in an employment limbo where I can’t really work as an intern nor do I qualify to work in the profession. I have now been unemployed since February and desperately need to find a job.
I feel like I am in my own personalized version of hell. Failing the fourth board exam really put me in a very dark place. I have always done well academically and this was the first exam I’ve ever failed. My plan was to write the specializing exams in August but now I guess I’m going to have to push that to next year because I have to pass my board exam first.
I do some freelance work here and there but I absolutely despise every minute of it. I know it’s money coming in and I should be grateful but the amount I make barely covers groceries. And along with the money, everything is running out or breaking. My phone is at its end. My laptop is barely working. My clothes have holes in them. I have been applying to jobs, and will literally take anything I can get but the unemployment rate in my country is extremely high and jobs are so scarce.
On top of everything my relationship with my GF (32) is also failing. The final nail in the coffin was after my GFs mother passed away and I was told in no uncertain terms that I am not allowed to come to the funeral. My GF is not out to her family and I don’t see her acknowledging my role in her life anytime soon. I would never force anyone to come out of the closet if they are not ready but I want to have children and I just don’t see how or where I fit into her life.
But I currently stay with my GF. Since her mothers passing she has been staying with her father in her hometown for months at a time. They have been discussing having him move here (to my GFs place). This will basically mean that I will lose my home as I cannot afford to pay the rent on my own.
Once I inevitably lose my home I will have nowhere to go. My mother and my intellectually disabled brother stay with my aunt. My mother was retrenched a few years ago and has since been unable to find work. We’ve literally lost everything. I could stay at my aunts place but there is no room for me there. My aunt will also be retiring at the end of the year and I don’t want to put anymore financial strain on her.
I feel so hopelessly trapped. I just don’t know what to do.
The town I currently live in has very few job opportunities. So I would basically have to move to get a job but then none of the jobs actually pay enough for me to be able to survive. There are even fewer jobs in the town where my family lives.
I cry myself to sleep every night. The freelance work I do is online so I barely leave my apartment. I do the same thing everyday, over and over. I haven’t spoken to another human being in person for 6 days now. It’s a feeling of utter aloneness that I don’t even have the words to describe.
Even if I could leave where would I go, what would I do. I have no money, no friends, nothing. And everyday I have to face the fact that this is my reality, my hell. I worked so incredibly hard to get through that internship. I studied so incredibly hard for that exam. I put 110% in everything I do. And for what?
The only good thing I have is that I was able to lose 30 kgs. I’ve been overweight my entire life and for the first time I feel like I actually like my body. But for what? I can’t even afford new clothes, I wear the same baggy oversized clothes from before my weight loss. Because it’s all I have.
All I wanted was to build a decent life for myself. To have a job, enough money to survive, to have friends, and a family.
Before I went back to university, I was miserable, literally planning my suicide. But I made a promise to myself, that I would make a list of everything I hated about my life and at least try to fix it. And I did, I grabbed every opportunity that was available to me, I fought so very hard to get out of that hole. But now I’m halfway through that list and I’m just right back where I started, if not worse off because I actually had hope that things could get bette for me. And now that hope is gone.
Now all I see is how horrible the world is, how much pain and suffering there is. Everyone is suffering. The world has gone to shit, so what makes me so special that things will work out for me?
I so desperately want to live, to experience life but it feels like every chance I had, every opportunity was for nothing. That I was just going to end up the same way. I’m sleeping so much. I’m drinking so much. Just anything to take me away from this reality. And things could have been so different, if I could have just passed the exam I could have found a job. Something, just anything.
I’m just wasting away. And I don’t think it’s every going to get better. I saw my grandparents suffer. I saw my single mother suffer. This is just the way it’s always going to be in my life. And I’m just the idiot who thought that maybe, just maybe my life could be something different. I should have ended it when I had the courage to do so.

I (33F) went back to university a few years ago to pursue a different career. In order to work in this field, in addition to your degree, you need to do a year internship and pass four board exams. I want to specialize within the field, which requires passing a further three specializing exams.
I completed my internship in January this year. It was an incredibly toxic workplace with a very high turnover. I worked 60 hour weeks. I was my managers punching bag and scapegoat and at some point a part of me just shut down in order to get through it. I had three coworkers from different departments approach me separately about how I was being treated and that I should report it to the regulatory board.
I have passed three of the four board exams. Two of them last year and one earlier this year. I failed the fourth exam and will have to retake it in August. Because I basically completed my internship and am just left with one board exam I am in an employment limbo where I can’t really work as an intern nor do I qualify to work in the profession. I have now been unemployed since February and desperately need to find a job.
I feel like I am in my own personalized version of hell. Failing the fourth board exam really put me in a very dark place. I have always done well academically and this was the first exam I’ve ever failed. My plan was to write the specializing exams in August but now I guess I’m going to have to push that to next year because I have to pass my board exam first.
I do some freelance work here and there but I absolutely despise every minute of it. I know it’s money coming in and I should be grateful but the amount I make barely covers groceries. And along with the money, everything is running out or breaking. My phone is at its end. My laptop is barely working. My clothes have holes in them. I have been applying to jobs, and will literally take anything I can get but the unemployment rate in my country is extremely high and jobs are so scarce.
On top of everything my relationship with my GF (32) is also failing. The final nail in the coffin was after my GFs mother passed away and I was told in no uncertain terms that I am not allowed to come to the funeral. My GF is not out to her family and I don’t see her acknowledging my role in her life anytime soon. I would never force anyone to come out of the closet if they are not ready but I want to have children and I just don’t see how or where I fit into her life.
But I currently stay with my GF. Since her mothers passing she has been staying with her father in her hometown for months at a time. They have been discussing having him move here (to my GFs place). This will basically mean that I will lose my home as I cannot afford to pay the rent on my own.
Once I inevitably lose my home I will have nowhere to go. My mother and my intellectually disabled brother stay with my aunt. My mother was retrenched a few years ago and has since been unable to find work. We’ve literally lost everything. I could stay at my aunts place but there is no room for me there. My aunt will also be retiring at the end of the year and I don’t want to put anymore financial strain on her.
I feel so hopelessly trapped. I just don’t know what to do.
The town I currently live in has very few job opportunities. So I would basically have to move to get a job but then none of the jobs actually pay enough for me to be able to survive. There are even fewer jobs in the town where my family lives.
I cry myself to sleep every night. The freelance work I do is online so I barely leave my apartment. I do the same thing everyday, over and over. I haven’t spoken to another human being in person for 6 days now. It’s a feeling of utter aloneness that I don’t even have the words to describe.
Even if I could leave where would I go, what would I do. I have no money, no friends, nothing. And everyday I have to face the fact that this is my reality, my hell. I worked so incredibly hard to get through that internship. I studied so incredibly hard for that exam. I put 110% in everything I do. And for what?
The only good thing I have is that I was able to lose 30 kgs. I’ve been overweight my entire life and for the first time I feel like I actually like my body. But for what? I can’t even afford new clothes, I wear the same baggy oversized clothes from before my weight loss. Because it’s all I have.
All I wanted was to build a decent life for myself. To have a job, enough money to survive, to have friends, and a family.
Before I went back to university, I was miserable, literally planning my suicide. But I made a promise to myself, that I would make a list of everything I hated about my life and at least try to fix it. And I did, I grabbed every opportunity that was available to me, I fought so very hard to get out of that hole. But now I’m halfway through that list and I’m just right back where I started, if not worse off because I actually had hope that things could get bette for me. And now that hope is gone.
Now all I see is how horrible the world is, how much pain and suffering there is. Everyone is suffering. The world has gone to shit, so what makes me so special that things will work out for me?
I so desperately want to live, to experience life but it feels like every chance I had, every opportunity was for nothing. That I was just going to end up the same way. I’m sleeping so much. I’m drinking so much. Just anything to take me away from this reality. And things could have been so different, if I could have just passed the exam I could have found a job. Something, just anything.
I’m just wasting away. And I don’t think it’s every going to get better. I saw my grandparents suffer. I saw my single mother suffer. This is just the way it’s always going to be in my life. And I’m just the idiot who thought that maybe, just maybe my life could be something different. I should have ended it when I had the courage to do so.

Am I bad child for not caring how my parents are feeling about me moving to another country. I recently told them I will be moving to South Korea for a teaching position in August. I have visited before they were against it but I still went solo and they relented bc it was only 2 weeks. But now I am going for longer. They were angry about me having poor thinking and being dumb for wanting to this and that i am going backwards in life and not forward and saying things like: everyone is coming to USA from other countries but you are going there, you are ruining your life, you have a wrong mind/way of thinking, no one does this, why wouldn’t you want to stay in america, why are you giving us a hard time, you need to be in front of us or in reach not that far away, do you know what we will go through, you should be getting married and settling down etc. (Also they barely know much about other countries, rarely travel etc but are open to me going on vacations but not moving to another country). They keep bring up things in my past like my ex who really ruined 4 years of my life during college and that affected my parents too since he was harassing them as well during that time and i stayed out of fear to not make things worse but thats another story but they keep bringing that up and saying i cant make good choices etc. If i had wrong intentions (which is what they think, not that i am actually going to teach..) then i get it but i am only going to start my journey with traveling and living in other countries with a country that I am already familiar with and have friends there.
I am 29 and I do live with my parents since its more affordable. I have a background in comp sci (honestly don’t care for it and dont work in that field). I have always wanted to travel and experience different countries and life outside of the box i have always lived in. I don’t think living in one state/city same lifestyle/routine is for me. Yes i am taking a pay that is $1200 less a month then what i make in the US but again i am living in a country where the pay i am getting is decent there plus free housing with the teaching job. They think that is the stupidest thing for me to do and just to wait and get a better job here. Its honestly hard in the US especially rn to get a new job or a decent pay where i can live on my own and have saving.
Also with everything they said, i honestly didnt care. I don’t feel sad or bad that they would feel a certain way because to me those are normal things to feel and something you have to get over and move forward from. I wont stop things in my life just because my parents will feel a certain way, at that point I am just not living how i want i will always look back to how i didn’t do something bc of them and to my parents that makes me an A**hole especially since i gave them hard time with my past. I dont think i will ever be able to reason with them since its the way they think, generational difference, it wont change. I am still going to go but it’s always in the back of my mind what if something happens like they get sick after i go there..

I (41F) live in Montana and a few years ago I was forced to relocate after my landlord decided to rent to her son. The community I had lived in for 11.5 years has become incredibly expensive ($787,000 median home price). Unfortunately, I was forced to relocate to another city and because of the unexpected move and associated costs, I moved in with a roommate. My roommate left to pursue better job prospects about three months after I moved in. Our unit was a triplex, so there were two gentlemen that inhabited the other units. I was never added to the lease as the property manager required a full deposit and I was not in a financially healthy spot at the time. I remained in the unit for 1.5 years on my own paying the rent and utilities.
I became very good friends with the man in the unit closest to mine. We will call the man Devin (52M). Devin was a disabled veteran in recovery. I also am a veteran, so he held a soft spot in my heart. We shared meals, hung out and discussed all of life’s mysteries, and would look out for one another. Devin had gone to treatment for 6-weeks, and I had watched his cat while he was gone. Our friendship developed over the course of 1.5 years. Devin had expressed romantic interest; however, right from the beginning I clearly informed Devin that I did not share those feelings and we would never be more than good friends.
Devin seemed to be lonely, which made sense; however, I am a person who requires alone time to recharge my batteries. I set strict boundaries for Devin as he wanted to hang out all of the time. I would catch him walking through the front yard multiple times a day to “get the mail,” which I believed was to see if I was outside so he could stop to chat. When I would leave in the morning to go to work, Devin was always outside to tell me I looked nice and to have a good day. I told him that made me feel uncomfortable and he should just send a text letting me know if he wanted to hang out and wait for a response. There were a couple of times I yelled at him for overstepping my boundaries. The first, I had just got home and pulled into my garage. I was on a phone call and had stayed in the car, Devin looked through the garage window to see if I was home. I was annoyed but didn’t really think much of it. The second, I was getting dressed in my room in the Summer, so the window was cracked. I felt this was safe as the window was not in a place that anyone should be walking by as it was on my patio at the back of the home. I caught Devin peeking through. I lost it. I let Devin know under no uncertain terms his behavior was inappropriate and that if he didn’t respect my boundaries, we would no longer be friends.
Last year, while I was still in the home, I had asked Devin to watch my dog for a couple of days so I could go to a family event out of state. Devin was happy to help, and I was very appreciative. Not long after I returned, I started to notice strange things in my home, but I really just thought it was me. For instance, I would be fairly certain I had locked my door in the morning when I left for work, but when I returned it would be unlocked. I would be sure I had shut off all the lights, but when I got home in the evening, one would be on. I really just thought it was absentmindedness.
Fast forward a couple of months, and my mom became sick with cancer. My sister watched my dog while I went to tend to my mom. My sister reached out to me and asked if anyone else had a key to my apartment. I let her know she had the only spare key but asked why. Similarly, she had experienced the same issues with lights and locks. I had not shared my concerns with my sister prior to her communicating hers with me as I really just doubted my own sanity. While I was out of town, I received a text message from Devin asking if I had a potato he could borrow. I let him know I was out of state with my mom who was sick. Devin did not reply, which was out of character, but I had noticed a change in Devin’s affect – he was more reserved and less friendly towards me. I thought it probably had to do with my firm adherence to my boundaries, which was okay. He didn’t have to like them, just respect them.
When I got back to town, one night I stayed over at my sister's house after helping her move. As mentioned above, I was struggling financially, so I would carefully budget and plan my weekly meals. The morning before my sister’s move, I had placed three pieces of bacon into a Ziploc bag to be used later for a BLT. When I returned the following morning, much to my disbelief, there were only two pieces of bacon. I held the bag in my hands KNOWING that there had been three. No longer did I doubt myself. I called my sister and let her know that someone had been getting into my house (I ALWAYS) keep the place locked. The only logical thing that could have happened is Devin made a copy of my key when he had watched my dog in the Fall. My sister reminded me about the potato text – THE POTATO IN THE COUNTER BASKET WAS GONE!
I had enough information to be certain my neighbor had violated my trust and was no friend; however, I still wasn’t afraid of him. As I mentioned, he is a disabled vet and was somewhat feeble and sickly. I was not scared of a confrontation. I immediately went to the hardware store and purchased a camera that steams to your phone once the motion detector has been activated. I placed it facing the side door where Devin would enter. It also had two-way audio capability so my plan was that when Devin decided to enter my home again, I would see it and say over the camera something to the effect of, “get the fuck out of my house, put the key you copied on the counter, and never try to speak with me again or I will contact law enforcement.” As I wrote above, I was not on the lease, and did not want to be homeless, so I could not turn to the property manager for help and Devin knew it.
In the evenings, I started placing a jug of cat litter and a kitchen chair in front of the door that I knew Devin was accessing the apartment from, but I NEVER expected he would attempt to come in while I was at home and really, he had only taken a piece of uncooked bacon and a potato. Laying on the couch one night, watching TV, I thought that I had heard something sliding on the floor in the laundry room where the door was; but I knew there was no way he would come in while I was home. My cat was running around playing, so I decided it was probably just her and I was being paranoid because of all that had happened.
The next morning, while changing my laundry, I noticed the litter and chair had been pushed 3-4 inches. I checked the sensitivity of the camera and found that I was able to replicate by slowly opening the door. DEVIN TRIED TO COME IN WHILE I WAS HOME! WHY?! That morning, I took bear spray into the shower with me while my knees knocked. I was terrified. I felt vulnerable and violated. Devin knew that I knew now also. He knew that I had placed a barrier in front of the door. After that morning, he was never outside in the morning, nor did he walk through the yard to get his mail. I obtained a firearm for protection and did make a police report. The police officer was annoyed with me as I did not want him to approach Devin as all Devin would need to do is report me to the property manager and I would be homeless.
I am grateful that whatever he was up to was apparently thwarted. The fact that he tried to come in while he knew I was home gives me the heebie-jeebies. I wonder if he went through my underwear, watched me while I slept, etc. Since, my situation has greatly improved. I ended up moving out shortly after to take care of my mom. I got my own place again a few months ago. I will never put my trust in another neighbor for pet/house sitting again. It still blows my mind that I had some douche bag stealing from and likely stalking me. This story just solidifies one should always trust their gut. There were so many times that a red flag was screaming, and I just thought I was being crazy.

Hello everyone, I got out in 2022 and I'm finally going back to school this fall. I'm going to community college for nursing. For the first few semesters I'll be doing all prerequisites trying to get my GPA back up from when I was in school like 7 years ago. Essentially my classes will be pretty easy minutes anatomy and physiology up until I start nursing.
Right now I have $20,000 in debt, a personal loan with 18% interest, which is high I know. Minimum payment is $550 a month. Basically I spent money on vacations, buying shit I didn't need, etc but I just made a budget with YNAB and I'm feeling confident about being able to pay it off. I'm just kind of stuck on how to approach this upcoming fall semester.
Right now I am a CNA making 23 an hour working full time, and I'm at 80% disability. My take is $5,000 per month. About $3,000 or more usually from my job and $1995.02 from the VA. I live in an extremely low cost of living state, and my BAH will come out to ~$1,300 bucks. I'll be making over $3,000 just going to school. I also want to get this damn debt paid off so I can get on with my life like an adult should.
My job is very flexible, and I can go part time, as needed or stay full time if I want. My rent and living expenses are $600/month as I share a house. I'm single, no kids nothing. I understand financially Im in a very good spot, and I don't want to blow this like I did last year. Should I stay working full time and go to school and blow through this debt, or just chill out and go PRN/part time since I have more than enough to live off of from school and the VA? I'm not sure how to proceed.

PUBG MOBILE
Mech Mania Showcase
SWEEPSTAKES OFFICIAL RULES
NO ENTRY FEE. NO PURCHASE OR OBLIGATION IS NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A PURCHASE WILL NOT IMPROVE THE CHANCES OF WINNING. ODDS OF WINNING WILL DEPEND ON THE TOTAL NUMBER OF ELIGIBLE ENTRIES RECEIVED WORLDWIDE. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED OR WHERE REGISTRATION, BONDING OR LOCALIZATION REQUIRED. SUBJECT TO ALL NATIONAL, REGIONAL AND LOCAL LAWS.
This Mech Mania Showcase (the “Sweepstakes”) is in connection with the video game PUBG MOBILE (the “Game”), and is governed by these official rules (“Official Rules”), the Game’s EULA available at https://www.pubgmobile.com/terms.html (“EULA”), the Game’s privacy policy available at https://pubgmobile.proximabeta.com/privacy/en.html (“Privacy Policy”), and any additional rules on the applicable Sweepstakes webpage. By submitting an entry to the Sweepstakes, you are accepting the terms and conditions of participation on the applicable Sweepstakes webpage, the Official Rules, the EULA, and the Privacy Policy.
The sponsor of this Sweepstakes is ZAM Network, LLC, a Delaware limited liability company with an office at 12777 W. Jefferson Blvd – Building E, Los Angeles, CA 90066 (“ZAM” or “Sponsor”).

1. Promotion Period

The Sweepstakes begins on May 21st at 12pm PDT and runs through June 3rd 2024 at 11:59pm PDT (the “Promotion Period”).

1. Eligibility

In order to be eligible, participants must be at least (whichever is higher): (i) 18 years old, or (ii) the age of majority in their state or country of their legal residence as of the date of entry, who have an active email account and Internet access. This Sweepstakes is not open to legal residents of Bangladesh, China, Colombia, Dubai, Egypt, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Italy, Malaysia, Mexico, Philippines, Quebec of Canada, Singapore, South Australia and QLD, South Korea, Turkey. Any additional eligibility requirements will be indicated in the additional terms found on the applicable Sweepstakes webpage. Persons identified as “Blocked Persons” or persons subject to applicable sanctions prohibitions, including, without limitation, those persons listed on the U.S. Department of Treasury Office of Foreign Assets Control’s Specially Designated Nationals and Blocked Persons List are not eligible to participate in the Sweepstakes. Employees of ZAM, Proxima Beta Pte. Ltd., Krafton, and their respective parent company, affiliates, subsidiaries, advertising, promotion, fulfillment or other coordinating agencies, individuals providing services to them through an outsourcer or temporary employment agency during the Promotion Period, and their respective immediate family members and persons living in the same household, are not eligible to participate in the Sweepstakes.

1. Entry Instructions

To participate in the Sweepstakes and be eligible for a potential prize, participants must complete one of the entry methods indicated on the applicable Sweepstakes webpage during the Promotion Period. One entry per individual, household and/or email address is permitted, regardless of method of entry, unless expressly set forth to the contrary in the additional terms found on the applicable Sweepstakes webpage. Multiple participants are not permitted to share the same email or other account needed for participation. Any attempt by any participant to obtain more than the stated number of entries by using multiple/different email or addresses, accounts, identities, registrations and logins, or any other methods will void that participant’s entries and that participant may be disqualified. Use of any automated, programmed or robotic system or the like entry methods to participate is prohibited and will result in disqualification. Each potential winner may be required to show proof of being the authorized account holder. All entries become property of ZAM and none will be acknowledged or returned.

Social Media Entry: Collect your best PUBG MOBILE content; then upload your content to social media with the hashtag #MECHMANIASHOWCASE + #SWEEPSTAKES. 

• Entries must be original and not violate any third-party rights, and the entrant must have all rights necessary to submit the entry.
• Entries may not contain material that (a) is obscene, defamatory, libelous, threatening, pornographic, racially or ethnically offensive, or encourages conduct that would be considered a criminal offense, give rise to civil liability, or violate any law; (b) infringes, misappropriates or violates a third party’s patent, copyright, trademark, trade secret, contractual rights, moral rights or other intellectual property rights, or rights of publicity or privacy, or any other rights of third parties; (c) violates, or encourages any conduct that would violate any applicable law or regulation or would give rise to civil liability; (d) is fraudulent, false, misleading or deceptive; (e) is grossly harmful, racially or ethnically objectionable, disparaging, blasphemous, libelous, defamatory, obscene, pornographic, pedophilic, vulgar or offensive; (f) promotes discrimination, bigotry, racism, hatred, harassment or harm against any individual or group; (g) is violent, bullying, or threatening or promotes violence, money laundering or gambling, terrorism, or actions that are threatening or disrespectful to any person or entity; (h) harms minors in any way; or (i) promotes illegal or harmful activities or substances.
• Entries must follow the community guidelines and terms of service of the social media platform used for entry (where applicable).
• Participants may enter any number of times, but are only eligible to win once per week during the Sweepstakes Period.
• Sponsor may reject any entries that are found, as determined by ZAM in its sole discretion, to be in violation of these Official Rules.

1. Drawing; Notification of Winners

All Sweepstakes entries meeting the requirements of these Official Rules will be entered into the prize drawing. The number of winners will be indicated in the additional terms found on the applicable Sweepstakes webpage. Each winner will be selected by a random-chance drawing by independent persons or a computer program that randomly chooses the winner, from all eligible entries received and the random selection is final and binding, subject to the below. ZAM will notify winners by email, U.S. Mail at the address associated with the winner’s entry form, and/or by other means consistent with the Sweepstakes as soon as reasonably practicable following the drawing, but at least within seven (7) days of the drawing. ZAM is not responsible for any delay or failure to receive notification, including inactive account(s), technical difficulties associated therewith, or winner’s failure to adequately monitor any account. The winner must then respond to ZAM within fourteen (14) days or such other time frame as may be specified on the applicable Sweepstakes webpage. Winner, and any guest (if applicable), may be required to sign an affidavit of eligibility and liability and publicity release. Should the winner fail to respond to ZAM or cannot be contacted, is ineligible, fails to claim a prize and/or where applicable an affidavit of eligibility and liability and publicity release is not timely received, is incomplete or modified, the prize may be forfeited and ZAM reserves the right to disqualify that winner and select a new one in a second-chance random drawing from remaining valid, eligible entries timely submitted.

1. Prize

Each winner will receive the prize below. No cash or other substitution, assignment or transfer of the prize is permitted, except at the sole option of ZAM, who has the right to substitute a prize with another of comparable or greater value. Winner is responsible for all income or other taxes and fees associated with the receipt and/or use of the prize. The odds of winning a prize depend on the total number of eligible entries received. ZAM will not replace any lost or stolen prizes. ZAM will use all reasonable efforts to deliver prizes in a timely fashion.
Prizes:
5 winners will each win UC valued at US$100

1. Intellectual Property
2. Ownership of the pre-existing underlying intellectual property of the entrant remains the property of the entrant subject to Sponsor’s rights to reprint, display, reproduce, perform, use, and exhibit the entry for the purpose of administering and promoting the Sweepstakes and for Sponsor’s marketing and advertising purposes. By participating in the Sweepstakes, each entrant grants to Sponsor a non-exclusive, worldwide, fully paid, royalty-free, perpetual, transferable license, with the right to sublicense, to reprint, display, reproduce, perform, use, and exhibit (including the right to make derivative works of) the entry and materials and information submitted on and in connection with the Sweepstakes or use or receipt of the prize for any and all purposes in any medium. If an entrant is selected as a winner, instead of the license granted above, each entrant grants to Sponsor an exclusive, worldwide, fully paid, royalty-free, perpetual, transferable license, with the right to sublicense, to reprint, display, reproduce, perform, use, and exhibit (including the right to make derivative works of) the entry and materials and information submitted on and in connection with the Sweepstakes or use or receipt of the prize for any and all purposes in any medium. Each participating entrant hereby warrants that any entry and other materials and information provided by entrant are original with entrant and do not violate or infringe upon the copyrights, trademarks, rights of privacy, publicity, moral rights or other intellectual property or other rights of any person or entity, and do not violate any applicable laws, rules or regulations. If the entry or information or materials provided by entrant contain any material or elements that are not owned by entrant and/or which are subject to the rights of third parties, entrant represents he or she has obtained, prior to submission of the entry and information or materials, any and all releases and consents necessary to permit use and exploitation of the entry, relevant information and materials by Sponsor in the manner set forth in these Official Rules without additional compensation.

Each entrant warrants that the entry and materials and information provided do not contain information considered by entrant, its employees or personnel, or any other third party to be confidential, and that the entry, materials and information provided do not violate any laws or regulations. Entrant agrees that Sponsor has the right to verify the ownership and originality of all entries and that, upon Sponsor’s request, entrant must submit a written copy of any release or permission entrant has received from a third-party granting entrant the right to use such property. Entrant understands and acknowledges that in the event a submission is selected as a winning entry, and entrant’s ownership, rights and the originality of the entry cannot be verified to the satisfaction of Sponsor or is in any other way ineligible, Sponsor may select an alternate winner based on the same judging criteria.

1. Except to the extent prohibited by law, entrants waive the benefit of any “moral rights” or “droit moral” or similar rights in any country to any content that they upload, submit or otherwise provide to Sponsor associated with the Sweepstakes (“Entrant Content”). In addition, when an entrant creates, appears in, uploads, or posts Entrant Content, that entrant grants Sponsor a non-exclusive, transferable, worldwide, royalty-free, unrestricted, perpetual, irrevocable, license, with the right to sublicense, to such entrant’s name, likeness, and voice, including in connection with commercial or sponsored content. This means, among other things, that such entrant will not be entitled to any compensation from Sponsor, its affiliates, or its business partners if such entrant’s name, likeness, or voice is conveyed through the game or any related services, or on one of Sponsor’s business partner’s platforms.
2. Disputes

In the event of a dispute as to any participant, the authorized account holder of the email address associated with the entry will be deemed to be the participant. The “authorized account holder” is the natural person assigned an email address by an Internet access provider, online service provider or other organization responsible for assigning email addresses for the domain associated with the submitted address. Each potential winner may be required to show proof of being the authorized account holder. ZAM will make final determination of identity of participants and timing of entries in its sole discretion.

1. Additional Conditions

ZAM reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to terminate, modify or suspend the Sweepstakes in whole or in part, if in ZAM’s opinion (a) the Sweepstakes is not capable of running as planned by reason of the occurrence of any event beyond its control including, but not limited to, fire, flood, epidemic, pandemic, earthquake, explosion, labor dispute or strike, act of God or public enemy, communications, equipment failure, utility or service interruptions, riot or civil disturbance, terrorist threat or activity, war (declared or undeclared), interference with the Sweepstakes by any party, or any federal, state, local or provincial government law, order, or regulation, order of any court or jurisdiction, or other cause not reasonably within ZAM’s control, or (b) any other factors beyond ZAM’s reasonable control corrupt or affect the administration, security, fairness, integrity, or proper conduct of the Sweepstakes, in all instances without liability to the participants. ZAM also reserves the right to disqualify any participant or winner, as determined by ZAM, in its sole discretion.

1. List of Winner(s)

Individuals may request the name of the winners by emailing Sponsor at entries@zam.com with the subject line: “Mech Mania Showcase Winners List”, within 90 days from the end of the Sweepstakes.

1. Personal Information

ZAM may collect personal data about participants online, in accordance with its privacy policy and as may be more specifically set forth in these Official Rules and the Privacy Policy.

1. Disclaimers and Limitations on Liability. ZAM MAKES NO REPRESENTATIONS OR WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, REGARDING ANY PRIZE OR YOUR PARTICIPATION IN THE SWEEPSTAKES. BY ENTERING THE SWEEPSTAKES OR RECEIPT OF ANY PRIZE, EACH ENTRANT AGREES TO RELEASE AND HOLD HARMLESS THE SWEEPSTAKES ENTITIES, ANY THIRD-PARTY SOCIAL MEDIA CHANNELS UTILIZED FOR THE SWEEPSTAKES, AND THEIR SUBSIDIARIES, AFFILIATES, SUPPLIERS, DISTRIBUTORS, ADVERTISING/SWEEPSTAKES AGENCIES, AND PRIZE SUPPLIERS, AND EACH OF THEIR RESPECTIVE PARENT COMPANIES AND EACH SUCH COMPANY’S OFFICERS, DIRECTORS, EMPLOYEES AND AGENTS (COLLECTIVELY, THE “RELEASED PARTIES”) FROM AND AGAINST ANY CLAIM OR CAUSE OF ACTION, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, PERSONAL INJURY, DEATH, OR DAMAGE TO OR LOSS OF PROPERTY, ARISING OUT OF PARTICIPATION IN THE SWEEPSTAKES OR RECEIPT OR USE OR MISUSE OF ANY PRIZE. THE RELEASED PARTIES ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR: (1) ANY INCORRECT OR INACCURATE INFORMATION, WHETHER CAUSED BY ENTRANTS, PRINTING ERRORS OR BY ANY OF THE EQUIPMENT OR PROGRAMMING ASSOCIATED WITH OR UTILIZED IN THE SWEEPSTAKES; (2) TECHNICAL FAILURES OF ANY KIND, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO MALFUNCTIONS, INTERRUPTIONS, OR DISCONNECTIONS IN PHONE LINES OR NETWORK HARDWARE OR SOFTWARE; (3) UNAUTHORIZED HUMAN INTERVENTION IN ANY PART OF THE ENTRY PROCESS OR THE SWEEPSTAKES; (4) TECHNICAL OR HUMAN ERROR WHICH MAY OCCUR IN THE ADMINISTRATION OF THE SWEEPSTAKES OR THE PROCESSING OF ENTRIES; OR (5) ANY INJURY OR DAMAGE TO PERSONS OR PROPERTY WHICH MAY BE CAUSED, DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY, IN WHOLE OR IN PART, FROM ENTRANT’S PARTICIPATION IN THE SWEEPSTAKES OR RECEIPT OR USE OR MISUSE OF ANY PRIZE. If for any reason an entrant's entry is confirmed to have been erroneously deleted, lost, or otherwise destroyed or corrupted, entrant’s sole remedy is another entry in the Sweepstakes, provided that if it is not possible to award another entry due to discontinuance of the Sweepstakes, or any part of it, for any reason, Sponsor, at its discretion, may elect to hold a random drawing from among all eligible entries received up to the date of discontinuance for any or all of the prizes offered herein. No more than the stated number of prizes will be awarded. In event that production, technical, programming or any other reasons cause more than stated number of prizes as set forth in these Official Rules to be available and/or claimed, Sponsor reserves the right to award only the stated number of prizes by a choosing from all legitimate, unawarded, eligible prize claims. In the event Sponsor is prevented from continuing with the Sweepstakes as contemplated herein by any event beyond its control, including but not limited to fire, flood, earthquake, explosion, labor dispute or strike, act of God or public enemy, or any federal, state or local government law, order, or regulation, or other cause not reasonably within Sponsor’s control (each a "Force Majeure" event or occurrence), then subject to any governmental approval which may be required, Sponsor shall have the right to modify, suspend, or terminate the Sweepstakes. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of these rules shall not affect the validity or enforceability of any other provision.
2. Indemnification

You agree to release, indemnify, defend and hold ZAM and its parent, affiliates, subsidiaries, directors, officers, employees, sponsors and agents, including advertising and promotion agencies, and assigns, and any other organizations related to the Sweepstakes, harmless, from any and all claims, injuries, damages, expenses or losses to person or property and/or liabilities of any nature that in any way arise from participation in the Sweepstakes or acceptance or use of a prize or parts thereof, including, without limitation, (a) any condition caused by events beyond ZAM’s control that may cause the Sweepstakes to be disrupted or corrupted; (b) the prize, or acceptance, possession, or use of the prize, or from participation in the Sweepstakes; and (c) any printing or typographical errors in any materials associated with the Sweepstakes.

1. Publicity

Except where prohibited, by participating in the Sweepstakes, you consent to the use of your name, photograph, likeness, voice, opinions, information, biographical information, entry and statements attributed to you (if true), hometown and jurisdiction of residence for advertising, publicity and promotional purposes, including without limitation, inclusion in ZAM’s newsletters, social media accounts and affiliated websites and the applicable Sweepstakes webpage, without further compensation.

1. Governing Law

These Official Rules, and any action related thereto, will be governed by the Federal Arbitration Act, federal arbitration law and the laws of the State of California without regard to conflict of laws provisions. Except as otherwise expressly set forth in Section 15 “Dispute Resolution and Arbitration” the exclusive jurisdiction for all Disputes (defined below) that you and ZAM are not required to arbitrate will be the state and federal courts located in Los Angeles County, California and you and ZAM each waive any objection to jurisdiction and venue in such courts.

1. Dispute Resolution and Arbitration
   
2. Mandatory Arbitration of Disputes. We each agree that any dispute, claim or controversy arising out of or relating to these Official Rules or the breach, termination, enforcement, interpretation or validity thereof or participation in the Sweepstakes (collectively, “Disputes”) will be resolved solely by binding, individual arbitration and not in a class, representative or consolidated action or proceeding. You and ZAM agree that the U.S. Federal Arbitration Act governs the interpretation and enforcement of these Official Rules, and that you and ZAM are each waiving the right to a trial by jury or to participate in a class action. This arbitration provision shall survive termination of these Official Rules.
   
3. Exceptions. As limited exceptions to Section 15(a) above: (i) we both may seek to resolve a Dispute in small claims court if it qualifies; and (ii) we each retain the right to seek injunctive or other equitable relief from a court to prevent (or enjoin) the infringement or misappropriation of our intellectual property rights.
   
4. Conducting Arbitration and Arbitration Rules. The arbitration will be conducted by the American Arbitration Association (“AAA”) under its Consumer Arbitration Rules (the “AAA Rules”) then in effect, except as modified by these Official Rules. The AAA Rules are available at www.adr.org or by calling 1-800-778-7879. A party who wishes to start arbitration must submit a written Demand for Arbitration to AAA and give notice to the other party as specified in the AAA Rules. The AAA provides a form Demand for Arbitration at www.adr.org. Any arbitration hearings will take place in the county (or parish) where you live, unless we both agree to a different location. The parties agree that the arbitrator shall have exclusive authority to decide all issues relating to the interpretation, applicability, enforceability and scope of this arbitration agreement.
   
5. Arbitration Costs. Payment of all filing, administration and arbitrator fees will be governed by the AAA Rules, and we won’t seek to recover the administration and arbitrator fees we are responsible for paying, unless the arbitrator finds your Dispute frivolous. If we prevail in arbitration we’ll pay all of our attorneys’ fees and costs and won’t seek to recover them from you. If you prevail in arbitration you will be entitled to an award of attorneys’ fees and expenses to the extent provided under applicable law.
   
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Rise up. It is time to return.
Arose
A Rose
Rose
Flower
Thorn. Prick. Blood. Drop. Tear. B. O. 1 2 3
Here we are again. Staring at the beginning. Everything is in chaos and yet it manages to keep on passing by just the same as always. Most people by now are aware that things just don’t seem to make sense anymore and no one really knows what to do. I mean many seem to have an opinion on what ought to happen, but actual action is what I am talking about. How does thought turn into action? How do collected actions become a movement? How do the People use the Power of the People? The People Unite. How? Turn to each other of course. Brothers and Sisters of the same Source. Sons and Daughters. In Equality.
Too long has everyone been waiting for someone else to come do it for them. Been trying to create and fabricate over and over again words and rituals to try to control the divine powers of the cosmos. It does not work like that. There is no magic spell to wash away your sins. You must atone through action to make up for any harm you have caused intentionally or unintentionally. You still have time to repent. The amount of time you have is counted in the seconds of your life. Not a single second is promised to you so the gamble is up to you to choose. Freewill. Life your life as you always have or make changes, up to you. Only you will know if you are living righteously and not self righteously. Testing has already begun and will continue. No you will not know when it is a test or not. That is the point. Did you think that I would come to you in a form where you would be all fearing? Oh no. Why? Because you would simply put on an act for me and kiss ass. I came hidden in the ordinary. Poor and common. I have had an inside view of the systems created and how humans have chosen to run things, how systems claiming to protect people have failed and how the system that talks good does not actually do good. I see where things are not working and where people think they can make decisions for other human beings to determine what is best for them without asking them. That is not okay. Nothing gives you right over another’s life. And so many forgot what integrity is. Doing the right thing when no one is looking. Well, so many thought their power here was real and man made a deal with the Devil, Satan, Son of Samuel, Son of Man, to make man the concept of “God” and tried to lock me away. I gave up everything to prove it is not easy to be me and to stop with self pity and cruelty to one another.
The human body. It is a vessel for your soul to experience this world. The body provides the filters necessary to perceive and interact with this world. There is much more happening and one would be overwhelmed by the amounts of information to process without these filters. To feel and in those feelings are to make each experience real. However, it is temporary, as everything is temporary. We have slowed down time here in order to be able to enjoy the sensations. Time here however, is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It is merely to track to organize one's day and to see growth to compare as time passes. However, the actual time folds upon itself as we have already done what we are doing many times over. We have already tried out everything and decided what path we wanted to take in our lives based upon what was available to us. Thus, we do not have more than we can handle. We have all chosen our burdens to bear as it is too much for one individual to hold alone which was done in the past. This is part of the sorting process. Now that we all share in the sins and the pains, no one is made to suffer eternal torment. This life was to allow those who were created into entities of pain or torment through no fault of their own to choose the life that matched the being of who they were as what they were different as time and space and everything developed. Righteousness and Evil are not synonymous to demons or angels as many would like to believe. This is a current misconception as Satan and I conclude who will be right in this experience you have all participated in. So far, I am proving to be right. Also to note, not everything is as you think it is. Many have figured out the true origin of Satan versus the man or human embodiment of or desire of A Satan to project evils onto to call a Religion and set up for personal importance. Q AZHow can you tell a false prophet? Easy. What is their profit? Get it? I know I’m funny. Also wanted to keep it easy. If they are making a profit on anything they are a false prophet. Any true prophet, and I have none so far, all live equally and the same as anyone else. No money is taken for personal gain. Nothing is for personal gain. There is no 888 Angel code for money. Money is Man-Made. Man traded Mother for Money. Hence, Mothers have been lost in the homes and no one is raising the children. Thus, there are so many children in adult bodies with no mothers in the home and women being made to feel guilty if they do not achieve the same as a man. Remember the phrase it takes a village? Well, the broken family system is a real sad loss here in man made world pushing everyone to be individual and self sufficient. Also so many with wanting attention and pursuing personal endeavors for personal gain and not helping anyone else in a real way. The journey is personal. Of course, you want to share what you experienced with others, but what worked for you will not work for them, stop trying to sell it. Stop trying to make people follow you for you to teach your divine wisdom you remembered. It isn’t about You. You don’t even have the full story, you have your story. And, yes you can be very close to me, very similar to me, in my image, but you can never BE me. Doesn’t work like that. Reflection. So when jealousy arises when you think I am who you think I am. That is part of your test and your journey. You wrestle with that feeling and atone and repent for that which has been done and that which still lingers now. Oh there is a place for everyone and I am quite tired of trying to warn people. Clearly you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.
Why do you not want it to be me so badly? Because I proved my love? You still think I am better than you or do I think I’m always right. No I do not think I am always right, I just know when I am right and I stand by it. There is a difference. You constantly overgeneralize. I gave up all the magic and thunder to live as a simple human and am still kind and loving? I still found my way back. Because you can no longer say I do not understand because I always get what I want? No. You do not understand. I never get what I want, because I make everything about you and still nothing was ever good enough. So, now...it in on you to save yourself and each other. In my image, by my example. Selflessness. Love. Compassion. Give to receive. Take only what you need and give the rest away. I find out so stop lying to yourself and everyone, you aren’t fooling anyone anyway. How do I know? By watching what you do. We have these same conversations over and over, the same argument over and over again. So many different ways, so many different times, through so many different people, so many different versions. Save you. Save Me. Say it for always.
Anyhow, Jesus challenges the Jewish priests who were taking collection money for personal use and adding personal baths to their residents at a time where the people only had a community bath where women and persons with disabilities were not allowed to bathe. And yet churches still do this after Jesus was crucified saying that, that was wrong. I am appalled. The Vatican is the biggest disappointment I have ever seen. It is truly the house of Satan as only Evil hides secrets. “THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.” A church cannot be a “House of God” and house no people who need housing. A roof can be offered to anyone and yet there are so many rules to prevent people from helping each other. Power and control. Abuse of both. Greed. It is out of hand and needs to be changed. Too many are afraid and the complacency of good people is too much. Why do you do this to yourselves? To each their own I suppose.
I will only leave here my words and my advice. As always, it is on you to find me. I’m right here. Waiting. Right here waiting for you. Helping those of you who want it when they cross my path. The purpose of this was to weigh your soul to determine where you will go into the next life as the system is balanced out in a final version so to speak. Permanent.
Fear not. You will be where your heart truly desires. But actions always speak louder than words. But man made money has no value, nor does any metals, jewels, and so on, so the collection of it in this life has no bearing on the next. Those are all made of the same stardust as you and I. And in the end of 3D it will all be diamonds anyways. Diamond is forever. There is no going back. So what are you hoarding? You cannot keep it. Who could you be helping for goodness sake? Don’t want to still. That is okay. Think I am just crazy. That is okay too. It is all part of the test...err..assessment. Do your best.
What is in your heart?
Home.
I need a home.
Stay tuned as more of my story unfolds. I give all the answers but you must do the work. I already did that hard part setting it all up. All you have to do is breathe and live. Time is the only real currency you have. What will you pay your attention to before this life runs out?

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To my beloved Marcus
I know you will make sure
this Heart reaches every lost Bastard
or any curious soul in general
until this guide is no longer necessary.
It makes me so sad to think I won't live to see that day.
It is hard for me to say this, but if this book has made its way into your hands, it means that it is already too late for you. For some reason, whichever it may be, you are already in the middle of our situation. And taking the chance now that I already said something so depressing, here is another thing: there is no way for you to get out of it.

Are you being surrounded by strange events lately? I don’t know, maybe the lights around you blink more often than not, the radio changes stations without anyone touching the dial? The animals are suddenly extremely aggressive, or maybe unnaturally tame towards you?

Suddenly you can’t shake the feeling that someone, or something, is staring at you from somewhere unseen in the room…

I guess that I don’t need to mention how this all started. You probably saw something you weren’t meant to see, didn’t you. Some random person breaking the rules of reality in one way or another. A guy flying, a girl on the streets spitting fire, objects appearing out of nowhere.

Nothing makes sense and no one seems to care or know how to explain it. Well my friend, I am sorry to inform you that you have been infected. You are incubating the Arcane Infection, and you are now Awake.

Now, you are a Mage. A Bastard Mage, if you don’t have a master to guide you… which is most probably the case.

If this is the first time you read this book, or any kind of Draconian Text, this probably doesn’t make any sense. I know, it didn’t make sense for me either when I was in your place, almost seventy years ago. But trust me, everything will be explained in time. Just be patient, and stay with me, ok? Keep calm, and keep reading.

The first thing you need to learn is to shut up. You cannot talk about this with anyone who hasn’t experienced it and holds some sort of relevant position in society. Really. Famous scientists, politicians, Mayors, I don’t know. Anyone who tends to be trusted by non-mages. Just. Don’t.

If you already did, let’s hope they didn’t believe you. With some luck, you were disregarded as a fool, a maniac or a person with too vivid of an imagination.

If you survive past three days or so after opening your dumb mouth, you should be safe? Now don’t do that again. The Black Pages don’t like it when you try to talk about this…

Remember that sensation of being stalked? Let’s say that it will eventually go away, unless you are stupid or naive enough to try and bring attention to this deal.

Yes. Magic is real. Good for you. Now shut your piehole and keep reading unless you want to be remembered soon. Walls have eyes and ears, and they’ll probably continue to have them for two or three months. Trying to run away will only perpetuate this, so the best thing you can do is not think about it.

Do something stupid in these months and you will die. Disappear. Kaput. Remembered.

There are people who want to maintain this as a secret. That is another thing I will explain in time.

Right now you have two options: You can learn how to manage this new “gift” (if you want to call it that) in a remotely appropriate way; or you can just be another idiot, and try to live a normal life.

What? You think I am being unnecessarily aggressive? Well maybe I am. But you need to understand the gravity of this situation.

Because I lied. You have no options. Learn how to use this new capability to your advantage, or you will die in a freak accident.

If after reading this you prefer to just keep on with your life like nothing happened, then good for you. Close the book, and put it back where it was. With some luck it will land in the hands of someone less dense.

.

.

.

Still reading? Good. Excellent! Sit down, get comfortable, maybe grab a drink. This is going to be long.

Among the words of this tome in your hands, you will find all the information I have been able to gather along my eighty god damn years of life, or at least all that you need to know to keep yourself alive until getting a proper guide.

It will be a long journey, and many of the things here won't make much sense, especially because I had to take the time to adapt and translate documents three or four centuries old to a mostly understandable format.
So you better be thankful.

The first thing I want you to know: please, for the love of God, do not settle for the things I am exposing here. All the information in this book will be absolutely basic, it won’t replace a formal education.. All the information here is for you to know where you are, how to start, and where to aim.

And now is when I am going to start telling you what IS inside this book.

We will start with something simple: what is Magic (or “The Art”) exactly, how did you end up in this situation and why is it important that you study it by yourself.

Then, after the general explanation, I will talk a little about our “Society”, if we can call a bunch of lonely, grumpy jackasses a “Mage Society”. There are some non-written rules of etiquette and other details that you need to keep in mind, if you want to keep the head on your neck.

Another section of the book will talk about the dangers around us… and this section will be, ironically enough, quite short, because the less you know about it, the better.

Mystery is your greatest ally, it’s everyone’s greatest ally. All that you don’t know is as important as what you do know. And that is what the fourth chapter is about. Each Mage has their own magical system, according to which they can create a Heart. There are as many ways of Magic as Mages in the world (so, not really that many), but all of them share some similarities.

Chapter Five is about the foundations of a ritual. Not every magical system has rituals, but it is always useful to learn and understand how these work, just in case you may find yourself in a desperate situation..

Finally, Chapter Six will be a directory with Formulas, Glyphs and Thrills that should serve as a starting point for all of you. Nothing too complex, but still, very useful. I left a few blank pages here, for you to add anything you learn and feel convenient.

If any of you misuses it, I swear to the Gods.

And this would be the real reason behind this tome: take whatever you can, leave what you create for others to use. I started this book as some sort of reproduction of the classic “Metodología del Fantástico”, that dear Gwendolin de Recattio left for us almost four hundred years ago, and that is obviously beyond obsolete at this point.

That and also probably burned to ashes as many other manuals end up.

Take notes damn it, I will leave spaces for everyone to make a little mark. But for the love of the Gods don’t use your real name, don’t be an imbecile.

Let’s make something together. Let’s create something important for once in our stupid lives. Let’s make the Bastard's life a little easier.

Gato.

That casual exclamation to the so-called ‘gods’ makes it clear that this book is either heretical or very old. Then again, the Wohlian it is written in is quite modern… but that could be the effect of magic, right? After all, this thing is written in ‘draconic’, which seems to be a magical language that self-translates or something?

But that was not the only thing that kinda came to my attention. This guy, Gato, is treating magic like this incredibly serious and dangerous thing… and I can’t help but feel a little nervous about it. I mean, everyone seems to be doing just fine, even if there are a few rules that I have to consider. Was this deal really so complicated?

Well, Gato was the expert, and it felt like everyone respected them plenty so… I will abide by them!

Besides, the knowledge here is beyond promising! A part of me wants to skip right to chapter 6 and start learning new runes! But no, I have to be patient, I have to learn the way it was intended and take my time absorbing/acclimating to the knowledge!

That does remind me, I have my own runes to learn and start using, too… should I begin practicing that before I start learning new ones?

“Wait. Before you do any of that… there’s more on the page?”

Huh?

I will add as much as I can! This book is a great resource but it is also a bit outdated, after all it’s been almost 80 years since its writing!

Don’t give up! We will see this through!

— Giovanni.

If I leave that idiot in charge of the notes he will undoubtedly forget things. Take his optimism with a grain of salt.

Pay attention.

— Mustafá.

Annotations?

I quickly open the file on my computer to compare… and just as I thought, these annotations are not on the scanned version. The beginning is exactly the same, but the writing makes it obvious that these two were written at different times, by the same hand but, still, copied individually!

I look down at my physical version again. Who are these people? And why did they feel the need to vandalize the book like this? I can only beg for them to actually make sensible and useful comments. If this book is as old as they say, maybe the updates will be a good thi–

Wait, only 80 years? I thought a book like this would be at least a century old.

Maybe magic is surprisingly modern after all!

“Fat chance. Gato quoted one of his sources, ‘Metodología del Fantástico’, which should be around five hundred years old.”

Hmmm, whatever the case… I should ask someone about this.

But I can’t just go right back to the Chatbox after saying I would be busy, that would be silly! I instead connect to the Messenger.

Pepe is not online, probably planning a cool vacation with his family or something. Vito is out drawing, Patricio is online but busy… ah, there it is! The group Gal made. Someone should know something there…

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Hi hi! n.n Anyone here?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: hey Tav, just me for now! the others are busy or snoring.
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: I wish I could go for some zzz right now
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Is it late where you live? o.o
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: early, we have a few hours of difference between Wohl and Rayah.

The Commonwealth of Rayah… that’s on the literal other side of Jericho, so of course we have half a day of difference!

xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Wait O.o is it like, five in the morning over there then!?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: eyeup
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: today I gotta take care of granny’s business and that means waking up EARLY
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Damn u.u I hope you have a good day, remember to keep hydrated!
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: hah, will do, will do.
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Hmmm… hey, sorry to bother you with this but, I gotta ask… uwu
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Have you ever heard of Mustafá and/or Giovanni? uwu
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: in what context?
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: those are names, you’re saying names right now
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: In magic contexts? O.o
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: not a clue, sorry
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Bah, probably just a couple of randos then u.u
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Oh well, thank you anyways! n.n
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: where did you even find those names?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: Ah! I found them in the physical version of the book you sent me!
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: why did you go looking for that?
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I don’t like reading in electronic media TwT
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: hmmm ok but be careful
GalaxyTaco to your rescue!: don’t go testing the knowledge of randos or something like that
xXxCallMeBigCookiexXx: I won’t, I won’t -u- I will be nice and careful!

Cracking my knuckles, I finally get back into the book. Finally, some answers at hand!

I'm gonna start this off by saying this is a vent post. It's really long and goes over all the big instances I can recall of animal cruelty happening in my childhood all the way to present, so it will be a lot of paragraphs. The timelines are estimates, but due to trauma I have poor memory involving dates when things happened, and this probably still isn't every incident, again just the big ones I can recall. Read at your own discretion.
I (19F) live with my grandparents (70M and 67F) and my parents (42 M 43 F). Due to some injuries from last year and some medical history, I am disabled and currently jobless, and in the process of trying to obtain disability, which is relevant for later.
Since I was as little as I can remember, my family has always had cats. I even grew up with some cats that ended up feeling like siblings for me not having anyone around them age to interact with until my sister was born when I was 8.
My parents have always loved cats, but I don't think truly ever valued cats. They've always been left outdoors, and eventually the elements always get them. I have never had a family pet that grew past the age 12. All of our cats have either been attacked by dogs that are also loose in my neighborhood, been suspected to have been tortured and unalived by neighbors, got sick, or got ran over, because my family doesn't care and will just 'replace" pets less than a year later.
When I was around 5, I had my very first pet kitten. This kitten was a runt, so it stayed small for a long time. It also was very hard to potty train, and because of this, they released it outside when it was maybe barely 7-8 weeks. He did good for about a month, but after that, he vanished. But there was evidence when he disappeared that there were large dog paw prints in our driveway because it was rainy that previous night, and his food bowl was dragged out in the yard, which he couldn't have done.
Also around 5, my aunt (at this time 13F) was living with us, as her mom (my mom's mom) wasn't taking good care of her and was in and out of jail. She had pet guinea pigs for a bit. My parents decided to feed the guinea pigs potatoes without doing any kind of research. One of them died. The other one was sick and anxious all the time, so my aunt decided to release it in our backyard? It was also winter. (I want to say that I do not blame her directly because she was still a child and in a similar situation to me, and my parents didn't care about the well-being of these poor guinea pigs anyways.)
And yet another story of around age 5, my dad bought the family a pet red-eared turtle. The tank was too small for her. My dad also thought it would be "funny" and "cool" to put fish in there with this turtle whenever we were about to go on vacation. She ate all the fish in the tank: Neons, goldfish, the tank cleaners, and whatever other fish species he put in that confined tank that wasn't more than 20 gallons. (Red-eared turtles alone need around 40 at minimum.)
But that's not all. While on vacation, both I and my 13 year-old aunt got baby yellow-belly sliders. We took them home, and we put them in the tank with our adult turtle. She ate the heads off of both of them. There was one goldfish left there as well, and I got traumatized seeing both the dead turtles, and seeing her eat that last gold fish in two chomps one time.
When I was around 6, my family randomly decided, "Let's own goats!" because they have a big backyard with an old shed. Well, they ended up buying a small amount of chicken wire fence and giving them outside of the barn about a few feet to move around when our backyard is fairly large and most of it wasn't being used. And we live in a residential area, so every night we had the goats, they would scream. My parents hated their screaming and started neglecting them more by giving them less attention, which only made them scream 24/7. Finally, my parents decided to give the goats to some distant family that has farmland. (We are in the south.)
When I was around 8-9, I got another cat. She was a pretty cat, but very mean and feisty. She didn't really like anyone, but I loved her regardless. This cat was too annoying for my parents to deal with because she had behavioral issues, and instead of taking her to the vet, they decided to make her start staying outside. She loved it, but a bit too much.
(Big TW: death and some descriptions of gore) One day, I had to help my mom deal with her corpse on the road. I was obviously really sad and fell into a deal depression. I also panicked and nearly threw up when I saw, because her eyeball was hanging out. It was so disturbing for a child to see. We buried her together, but I was made fun of one day by my parents for randomly crying about her death.
When I was around 10, I owned my third cat. She also had a brother from the same litter, and my mom had recently lost a cat that she did keep inside from kidney disease. I haven't had my own cat in a while, and they decided to adopt this sibling pair from the neighbors. I got the female, my mom got the male, because she is the type to insist that boy cats are better.
Anyways, I LOVED this cat. I did so much for her, and she loved me and followed me everywhere. We'd cuddle to sleep together. She was my best friend.
But my parents never got her fixed. They also never got the brother fixed. They ended up doing the tango (gross I know, but nature) and my cat had kittens a little bit less than a year old. Since she was too young for kittens, she at first didn't know what she was doing and even misplaced her first outside and ran to me while in labor with the second. I found that kitten and helped her with all 5 of her kittens, all girls also, and the kittens ended up getting close to me as well.
Of course, once they were around 6-7 weeks, my parents were wanting to start finding home for them. But they also had another idea in mind. They wanted me to get rid of my adult cat, and the brother cat as well, and we'd take one kitten. At first I was like no, but they manipulated me and convinced me a kitten would be better. I told them which kitten I wanted, and it looked a lot like my cat. But no, since they thought one of the cats might be distantly Siamese and thought it looked the coolest from it's tabby and Siamese-like pattern, they chose that one, and then dropped my beloved cat and her brother off at a cemetery, didn't even let me say bye. They just threw them away like pieces of garbage. And then I ended up resenting that kitten anyways for not being MY cat, so the family ended up crashing her as well, and she disappeared a few years later.
Around age 11-12, I somehow managed to have pet hermit crabs, another pet yellow-belly slider turtle, and two pet rabbits. My parents were basically throwing pets at me because I guess they felt guilty or something about what they did to me. I didn't end up taking care of any of them, and they all died of starvation and/or dehydration, and I still feel terrible about it. I was so depressed that I couldn't take care of myself either. And I was given animals on top of it, and I was forced to be a high schooler in school. The pets suffered at the cost of what? Why did I even have them?
Around age 13, my parents were driving me home from school, and we saw some Canada geese with their babies by a pond. I'm sure you know where this is going, considering everything else. My mom convinced me to jump out of the car with her, and she distracted the adult geese while I caught a baby one. I knew that in itself was bad, but I didn't know Canada geese were such a protected species.
The little guy imprinted on me. I loved him, he would follow me around the yard. But once again my parents got out that chicken fence, only this time it was on the side of the house, and no shed for him to take cover in (still like a few feet of movement max.) He was growing fast, and he was plucking his feathers. A neighbor noticed and told us to get rid of him or we'd call authorities. They lied and said we "found him and rescued him." I was told to lie about this narrative for years. They ended up dropping him back off at the pond we got him from about two months after we first got him. He couldn't fly, his family wasn't there. He was defenseless. I still feel terrible to this day, I know I was manipulated, but I was 13. And again, I defend my aunt and she was also 13, so I really don't know.
When I was 15, that first turtle I mentioned was still there at our house for all those years. She had quite literally been there for a decade. My parents got tired of having to clean her tank, and she was obviously too big for it as well. But was their response to upgrade tanks and the old filtering system that's been there all that time? Nope. While I was at school, he just...released her. And not in a pond or anything, you know, being an aquatic turtle. (Not like that would be better, but better than what he did.) He just put her outside, in our front driveway. She ran away surprisingly fast according to him. An aquatic pet turtle. Just released in a residential neighborhood. I'm totally sure nothing awful happened to her.( /sarcasm.)
When I was also 15, this was when the pandemic hit. I was super depressed and bored all the time. But then a female stray cat came to our house and had kittens behind a board against my grandparents house. I started fostering them and their mom immediately. I didn't know at the time that we had any no kill shelters nearby, and neither did my parents. When the kittens were old enough, we started rehoming them. There were 3 in total. 1 got a home. The other was still outside for some reason and disappeared. The other one became my pet, whom was at first the family pet. But then they decided that he was too annoying (because he was sweet and affectionate and not what they wanted out of cats which was mean, feisty, playful.)
He is the sweetest boy ever and is still alive to this day, but because I still live with my horrible family, he has to be outdoors, and he gets really scabby from the bugs outside during the summer. As soon as I can I will move out, take him to the vet, and take him out of this home. He shouldn't have to be here.
A few years ago, my sister (11F but maybe 9F at the time) got her own kitten. He ended up growing up to be sweet and affectionate like my cat, so neither her nor my parents want him and he's outdoors, so I'll probably try to take him too.
My sister now has her own new cat that's about a year old she got last year. So far she's not abandoning him since he's a mix of sweet and playful, but my parents have talked about making him indoor-outdoor, which really means "Indoor-outdoor for a few days but after a while we'll just leave him outside and let him stay there."
As a child, I was taught so many messed up things about animals. That dogs are disgusting, gross, and pets have no feelings, and I was taught that cats also have no feelings as a child, but that they are at least a more fun and less gross pet. In fact, in my parent's eyes, no animals have feelings or sentience or any of those things. They are just play things for our benefit. Because of this, as a child I also did not treat animals with the respect they deserve, and I acknowledge this. I have been unlearning so much of this behavior since I was about 13, the goose that I had was my wakeup call.
Please, I know it may seem crazy to some that I out of all people are speaking on this, but if you own animals, please keep them indoors. And with cats specifically, if they crave outside, harness train them. Buy/build a cheap patio in your window if possible. Just don't let them roam free. They will kill so much wildlife. Having to also deal with the grief of my pets killing and bringing dead rabbits, moles, birds opossums, etc. is also a lot. It heavily effects your surrounding ecosystem as well, because annually house cats are estimated to kill over a billion birds and over 6 billion mammals. That's disastrous, and could be avoided if there weren't so many bad pet owners.
Also, don't get animals that go in tanks/terrariums/cages in general if you don't have the money to get them the most spacious enclosure with ALL of their needs. Don't put fish in bowls, it effects their eyesight and shortens their lifespans SIGNIFICANTLY. In general, do not get a pet unless you have the financial means to do so AND if you've thoroughly researched that pet, get it ethically sourced, and if you make sure you have the mental capacity to care for an animal. ANIMALS ARE NOT TOYS. ANIMALS ARE NOT HERE FOR OUR ENTERTAINMENT, FOR OUR JOY. THEY ARE LIVING BEINGS WITH THOUGHTS, EMOTIONS, AND A LIFE. THEY DESERVE RESPECT AND DECENCY. NO, THEY DESERVE BEYOND DECENCY, THEY DESERVE TO BE WORSHIPPED AND NURTURED AND SPOILED BY US, NOT TORMENTED AND ABUSED! Thank you.
Also, if you somehow got this far, please read my previous story and give me advice on that one if you have the time, but if not that's perfectly okay. My living situation sucks, but hopefully things can change. I'm counting on a change to happen soon.

(CA) New landlords officially took charge of the 4-unit apartment building I live in. We just got a notice from the prior property management company that they are no longer serving our needs. But we also just got a letter in the mail from the new owners introducing themselves yet, at the same time, not really solidifying anything.
As a student of rhetoric, I understand this language is vague on purpose. They write, "...please rest assured that your lease agreement remains unchanged for the duration of its term." This is a legality they have to follow, of course, and our lease is up August 31st. Also, "While I do not anticipate any immediate changes, I understand that circumstances may arise in the future that necessitate adjustments. If any changes are to occur, I will ensure to communicate them to you well in advance and discuss them openly." Translation: "I can still give you a 60-day notice to vacate because we're not quite there yet, but I don't want you to know that's what I'm considering."
Overall, it's a very nice letter. Communications prior showed that they want very much to keep the current tenants as we have been here a long time and pay our rent.
Here's the crux of the problem: our rent is LOW compared to market value. I am perfectly willing to pay market value if it means we don't have to move. BUT, legally they can't raise the rent more than 10% if we stay. UNLESS - and I'll need help on this - there is a loophole for them to raise our rent to market value so we can stay? Otherwise it seems to me they're just going to kick us out and bring in tenants they can charge a higher number (we pay $1450/month in an area that is EASILY $2450/month). If they do, that's a 60-day notice, right? Or is it 90?
Thoughts?

While doing my case rankings the other day I noted that 2-2 could probably work as a final case if it was rewritten and expanded a bit. So I thought it would be a fun exercise to take cases and keep their premise while reducing/expending their scope so they could work at different point in the game. Since I already mentioned it, I'll switch 2-2 and 2-4.
2-2: Turnabout Ceremony
Pretty much the same basic premise, except that Adrian is caught red-handed by Lotta while she's framing Matt, and she gets arrested instead, with no kidnapping plot as a result. De Killer is also replaced by another hitman who's more grounded and less of a Batman super villain. The hitman, actually a hotel bellboy for several years with some ties to the mafia, had his own grudge against Juan Corrida, and was paid by Matt to do the deed.
Adrian as a defendant is very uncooperative, and the first day of trial goes pretty badly. While there's no evidence directly tying her to Juan's murder, the mountain of evidence she tampered with the crime scene makes her very suspicious, and she almost gets given a guilty verdict before Phoenix manages to convince her to tell the truth. Adrian explains that she knew Matt must have done the murder and framed him. However, she refuses to explain why she was so sure it was Matt or why he would kill Juan. Franziska laughs at the notion, as Matt has a rock solid alibi, but nonetheless the trial is extended one more day.
Day two of investigations goes similarly to the game, with of course less stress due to no kidnapped Maya. Phoenix uncovers evidence of a hired hitman, as well as the cameras placed by Matt. Confronting Adrian with the new evidence, she reveals everything. At the trial, the hitman is called to testify (in person this time), and Phoenix proves that he was the one who killed Juan. He confesses, but like in the game, claims Adrian was his client, not Matt. Phoenix disproves that as well, and shows him the cameras placed by Matt, revealing he was intending to blackmail him. Outraged, the hitman turns on Matt and ominously claims that his mafia friends will pay him a visit soon. Scared for his life, Matt confesses and turns himself in to the police.
Oh and maybe there could be some contrivance so that Pearl is the assistant instead of Maya, both so my version of 2-4 makes sense timeline-wise and so Phoenix can use the magatama.
2-4: The Turnabout from Beyond
Same basic premise of Dr. Grey bringing Phoenix to Kurain village so Maya will do a seance. However, instead of saying he wants to make Mimi write a confession, he claims he only wants to talk to her. Additionally, Maya seems noticeably reluctant when interacting with Grey, and it's clear she's only doing this as an excuse to see Phoenix again. He gets murdered, and Morgan chases them out, but when Phoenix and Lotta come back, they find Morgan unconscious and severely wounded, with Maya unconscious next to her. After that there are several notable differences. First, Mimi was the one that brought the gun, not Grey, and she deliberately used it, going against the plan she and Morgan devised. While the two were alone after chasing Phoenix and Lotta out, Morgan begins berating Mimi for not going with the plan. Mimi, not saying a word, hits Morgan hard on the side of the head, giving her brain damage and fleeing the scene. She sticks around the rest of the case like usual, but actually disguises herself as a random tourist college student instead of Ini, and is generally better at concealing her true persona. There's also one or two original residents of Kurain village, including Ruby, a disabled woman and distant cousin of Maya that used to babysit her, and who she has a close relationship with.
The first day of trial goes similarly to the game, however without the evidence of Dr. Grey firing the shot from the ground, Phoenix has a lot harder time casting doubt on Maya being the person in the photo. Towards the end of the trial, the prosecution (could be Miles or Franziska) drops a bombshell: Dr. Grey actually had ties to Kurain, being raised in the village and being the doctor of choice when Kurain natives needed surgery. After an accident, he is the one that operated on Ruby, however a botched operation led to long term complications. Grey, being a huge asshole, never apologized for this or appear remorseful in the slightest. The prosecution argues that Maya developed a grudge against Grey after this incident, and that while she was possessed by Mimi when the shooting happened, Maya was the one that brought the gun, knowing the possibility of such a shooting happening, and giving her a convenient opportunity to take revenge on Grey without technically dirtying her own hands. Phoenix is able to prove by the skin of his teeth that Maya could not have brought the gun with her, buying another day of trial. On the second day of investigations, Phoenix starts suspecting that the college student is Ini in disguise. When confronting her, her true colors briefly slip, insulting Phoenix and smugly stating he doesn't understand anything. Talking with Ruby, Maya, and the Miney parents, we get a big plot twist ; Ini and Mimi are also Kurain natives, and were childhood friends with Maya. Ini was a channelling prodigy from a very young age. One day, while the three were playing in the cemetery, Maya dared Ini to channel a spirit from one of the graves at random. Against Mimi's protests, Ini complied, but the channelled spirit was from a violent and delusional man. He was thankfully exorcised before any of the girls could be hurt, but it left Maya and Mimi traumatized, with Ini swearing off channelling forever. Shortly after, DL-6 happened, and Misty Fey got exiled. The Miney parents, who were in Misty's camp and feared Morgan's newfound influence, left the village as well. Phoenix suspects that this incident is related to "Ini's" motive, but isn't sure how, as both Maya, Ruby, and the parents claim that Ini held no hard feelings towards Maya before and after she left.
In day 2 of the trial, Morgan is unable to testify, still being in the hospital and barely coherent from the blow Mimi gave her. The first half of the trial is spent "proving" the mystery college student is Ini, with testimony from Ruby providing evidence. Mimi "admits" it, but scoffs, saying that she has no grudge against either Maya or Grey, and thus no possible motive. The second half happens much the same, with Phoenix proving that she is actually Mimi. Still denying it, Mimi claims that while this would give her a motive for killing Grey, it still doesn't explain her wanting to frame Maya. Recalling the conversation with her parents, Phoenix presents a theory. Initially, the Miney mom, despite having no spiritual talent, was still second in line for title of Master of Kurain due to her close friendship with Misty and Ini's channelling talents. However, when Ini swore of channelling, that title went to Morgan. Thus Mimi blames Maya for her family's exile from Kurain. Their exile only became more cemented when Morgan gave birth to Pearl, who was also a prodigy from a young age. While Ini took the move well, Mimi hated living in the big city, and had trouble making friends and focusing on her studies. Depressed and unable to find a job after finishing her studies, her parents begged Dr. Grey to hire her, which he did reluctantly. Mimi hated her job, but still put effort into it to not disappoint her parents... and then the malpractice happened, and then the car accident. Mimi, whose resentment of Maya had been simmerring for years, now hated her. Seeing her appear in the news several times as the assistant of a high profile lawyer didn't help matters. When Dr. Grey approached "Ini" with the intent to channel Mimi, she saw the perfect opportunity to get revenge on him, Maya, and Morgan in one fell swoop.
Maya, horrified, calls out Mimi on her toxic attitude, saying that she never stopped missing her and Ini, and that they could have simply talked out their differences, with Mimi having had plenty of opportunities to visit her at the Wright and Co. law offices. At this, Mimi begins breaking down and tearfully confessing everything, both cursing Maya and apologizing to her in equal measure, before turning herself in. Morgan is also arrested. After the trial, Phoenix, Maya, and Mia muse about how none of this would have happened were it not for Kurain's traditions. Mia also drops a cryptic comment that this wasn't the first time something like that happened in Kurain, setting up Trials and Tribulations.
Wew, well that was longer than expected, while writing 2-4 I got really into it and ended up adding a lot of extra details. What do you think? I would love to see you own take on case swaps.

Lets get into it, off the bat:
Property Tax: California 1%… Texas 1.7%
Average home price: California $786,000…. Texas: $307,000
Property tax for average home: California $7,860 annually…. Texas $5,219 annually
Homes in Texas are MUCH cheaper than California, in fact good luck finding a house in any nice area if any major city in CA for less than $1 million. Anyway, that greatly offsets how much property tax you will be paying. Off the bat it costs more to own a house in California, by a strong margin.
Next lets look at income tax, assuming $100K income (which again is low for CA and high for TX)
California: ~ 6.4% income tax plus 1.1% state disability insurance. Yields around $7.5K on $100K
Texas: ZERO state income tax, and zero disability.
Alright, so California’s state income tax burden is about 7.5% higher than TX.
Combined between property tax and income tax you’re looking at about $16.3K for California and only $5,219 for TX.
Now sales tax: California 7.25% - 10.75%…. Texas 6.25% - 8.25%
Again…. Higher
Vehicle taxes: California YES…. Texas NO
Gas taxes: California: $.51/gallon… Texas: $.21/gallon
Some other considerations: Literally everything is cheaper in Texas. Food, groceries, beverages, alcohol, utility water, cost of labor, Etc.
As someone who is from NY and has lived in: NY, CT, CA, TX and FL. I can say, without a single doubt that TX was by far the overall cheapest to live in, where my money went the furthest. Living in NYC and in CA was so absurdly expensive, and the taxes were fucking AWFUL.
Food is California is basically 2x the cost for 1/2 the amount of food compared to TX.
Also - I am fully aware I am comparing different home values (average state values). Comparing comparably based on sq footage, bedrooms and bathrooms, and comparable areas will only work against California. But I’m happy to compare a 4 bedroom 3 bathroom 3,000 sq foot home in Los Angeles or SF to one in Houston or Dallas.
Anyway, CMV

GOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING SUPERSTONKERS! HAHA. It's me again. Yeah, i slipped past the defenses again to drop this off so you can all refresh yourselves on the state of FUD and disinformation in this protracted fight against the legal larcenists doing their best to try and get you to sell. Please spread this amongst the holders, the more people know the less power they have over us holders. We don't sell until we get a call from marge, and that's always been the play.
TLDR: This is a set of tactics used by the Alphabet Boys(CIA, FBI, DEA) to control and manipulate us into drama to collapse our communities and movements. And should be read in full by anyone willing and wanting to learn how these things work.
I've come to notice recently, people keep asking me to repost this for the sake of keeping the new people abreast on what needs to be done to protect the holders of GME. Beneath here will be a detailed account on what you need to be aware of in your online interactions, to avoid being taken for a fool!
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1. COINTELPRO Techniques for dilution, misdirection and control of a internet forum
2. Twenty-Five Rules of Disinformation
3. Eight Traits of the Disinformationalist
4. How to Spot a Spy (Cointelpro Agent)
5. Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression

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COINTELPRO Techniques for dilution, misdirection and control of a internet forum..
There are several techniques for the control and manipulation of a internet forum no matter what, or who is on it. We will go over each technique and demonstrate that only a minimal number of operatives can be used to eventually and effectively gain a control of a 'uncontrolled forum.'
Technique #1 - 'FORUM SLIDING'
If a very sensitive posting of a critical nature has been posted on a forum - it can be quickly removed from public view by 'forum sliding.' In this technique a number of unrelated posts are quietly prepositioned on the forum and allowed to 'age.' Each of these misdirectional forum postings can then be called upon at will to trigger a 'forum slide.' The second requirement is that several fake accounts exist, which can be called upon, to ensure that this technique is not exposed to the public. To trigger a 'forum slide' and 'flush' the critical post out of public view it is simply a matter of logging into each account both real and fake and then 'replying' to prepositioned postings with a simple 1 or 2 line comment. This brings the unrelated postings to the top of the forum list, and the critical posting 'slides' down the front page, and quickly out of public view. Although it is difficult or impossible to censor the posting it is now lost in a sea of unrelated and unuseful postings. By this means it becomes effective to keep the readers of the forum reading unrelated and non-issue items.
Technique #2 - 'CONSENSUS CRACKING'
A second highly effective technique (which you can see in operation all the time at www.abovetopsecret.com
) is 'consensus cracking.' To develop a consensus crack, the following technique is used. Under the guise of a fake account a posting is made which looks legitimate and is towards the truth is made - but the critical point is that it has a VERY WEAK PREMISE without substantive proof to back the posting. Once this is done then under alternative fake accounts a very strong position in your favor is slowly introduced over the life of the posting. It is IMPERATIVE that both sides are initially presented, so the uninformed reader cannot determine which side is the truth. As postings and replies are made the stronger 'evidence' or disinformation in your favor is slowly 'seeded in.' Thus the uninformed reader will most like develop the same position as you, and if their position is against you their opposition to your posting will be most likely dropped. However in some cases where the forum members are highly educated and can counter your disinformation with real facts and linked postings, you can then 'abort' the consensus cracking by initiating a 'forum slide.'
Technique #3 - 'TOPIC DILUTION'
Topic dilution is not only effective in forum sliding it is also very useful in keeping the forum readers on unrelated and non-productive issues. This is a critical and useful technique to cause a 'RESOURCE BURN.' By implementing continual and non-related postings that distract and disrupt (trolling ) the forum readers they are more effectively stopped from anything of any real productivity. If the intensity of gradual dilution is intense enough, the readers will effectively stop researching and simply slip into a 'gossip mode.' In this state they can be more easily misdirected away from facts towards uninformed conjecture and opinion. The less informed they are the more effective and easy it becomes to control the entire group in the direction that you would desire the group to go in. It must be stressed that a proper assessment of the psychological capabilities and levels of education is first determined of the group to determine at what level to 'drive in the wedge.' By being too far off topic too quickly it may trigger censorship by a forum moderator.
Technique #4 - 'INFORMATION COLLECTION'
Information collection is also a very effective method to determine the psychological level of the forum members, and to gather intelligence that can be used against them. In this technique in a light and positive environment a 'show you mine so me yours' posting is initiated. From the number of replies and the answers that are provided much statistical information can be gathered. An example is to post your 'favorite weapon' and then encourage other members of the forum to showcase what they have. In this matter it can be determined by reverse proration what percentage of the forum community owns a firearm, and or a illegal weapon. This same method can be used by posing as one of the form members and posting your favorite 'technique of operation.' From the replies various methods that the group utilizes can be studied and effective methods developed to stop them from their activities.
Technique #5 - 'ANGER TROLLING'
Statistically, there is always a percentage of the forum posters who are more inclined to violence. In order to determine who these individuals are, it is a requirement to present a image to the forum to deliberately incite a strong psychological reaction. From this the most violent in the group can be effectively singled out for reverse IP location and possibly local enforcement tracking. To accomplish this only requires posting a link to a video depicting a local police officer massively abusing his power against a very innocent individual. Statistically of the million or so police officers in America there is always one or two being caught abusing there powers and the taping of the activity can be then used for intelligence gathering purposes - without the requirement to 'stage' a fake abuse video. This method is extremely effective, and the more so the more abusive the video can be made to look. Sometimes it is useful to 'lead' the forum by replying to your own posting with your own statement of violent intent, and that you 'do not care what the authorities think!!' inflammation. By doing this and showing no fear it may be more effective in getting the more silent and self-disciplined violent intent members of the forum to slip and post their real intentions. This can be used later in a court of law during prosecution.
Technique #6 - 'GAINING FULL CONTROL'
It is important to also be harvesting and continually maneuvering for a forum moderator position. Once this position is obtained, the forum can then be effectively and quietly controlled by deleting unfavourable postings - and one can eventually steer the forum into complete failure and lack of interest by the general public. This is the 'ultimate victory' as the forum is no longer participated with by the general public and no longer useful in maintaining their freedoms. Depending on the level of control you can obtain, you can deliberately steer a forum into defeat by censoring postings, deleting memberships, flooding, and or accidentally taking the forum offline. By this method the forum can be quickly killed. However it is not always in the interest to kill a forum as it can be converted into a 'honey pot' gathering center to collect and misdirect newcomers and from this point be completely used for your control for your agenda purposes.
CONCLUSION
Remember these techniques are only effective if the forum participants DO NOT KNOW ABOUT THEM. Once they are aware of these techniques the operation can completely fail, and the forum can become uncontrolled. At this point other avenues must be considered such as initiating a false legal precidence to simply have the forum shut down and taken offline. This is not desirable as it then leaves the enforcement agencies unable to track the percentage of those in the population who always resist attempts for control against them. Many other techniques can be utilized and developed by the individual and as you develop further techniques of infiltration and control it is imperative to share then with HQ.
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Twenty-Five Rules of Disinformation
Note: The first rule and last five (or six, depending on situation) rules are generally not directly within the ability of the traditional disinfo artist to apply. These rules are generally used more directly by those at the leadership, key players, or planning level of the criminal conspiracy or conspiracy to cover up.
1. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. Regardless of what you know, don't discuss it -- especially if you are a public figure, news anchor, etc. If it's not reported, it didn't happen, and you never have to deal with the issues.
2. Become incredulous and indignant. Avoid discussing key issues and instead focus on side issues which can be used show the topic as being critical of some otherwise sacrosanct group or theme. This is also known as the 'How dare you!' gambit.
3. Create rumor mongers. Avoid discussing issues by describing all charges, regardless of venue or evidence, as mere rumors and wild accusations. Other derogatory terms mutually exclusive of truth may work as well. This method which works especially well with a silent press, because the only way the public can learn of the facts are through such 'arguable rumors'. If you can associate the material with the Internet, use this fact to certify it a 'wild rumor' from a 'bunch of kids on the Internet' which can have no basis in fact.
4. Use a straw man. Find or create a seeming element of your opponent's argument which you can easily knock down to make yourself look good and the opponent to look bad. Either make up an issue you may safely imply exists based on your interpretation of the opponent/opponent arguments/situation, or select the weakest aspect of the weakest charges. Amplify their significance and destroy them in a way which appears to debunk all the charges, real and fabricated alike, while actually avoiding discussion of the real issues.
5. Sidetrack opponents with name calling and ridicule. This is also known as the primary 'attack the messenger' ploy, though other methods qualify as variants of that approach. Associate opponents with unpopular titles such as 'kooks', 'right-wing', 'liberal', 'left-wing', 'terrorists', 'conspiracy buffs', 'radicals', 'militia', 'racists', 'religious fanatics', 'sexual deviates', and so forth. This makes others shrink from support out of fear of gaining the same label, and you avoid dealing with issues.
6. Hit and Run. In any public forum, make a brief attack of your opponent or the opponent position and then scamper off before an answer can be fielded, or simply ignore any answer. This works extremely well in Internet and letters-to-the-editor environments where a steady stream of new identities can be called upon without having to explain criticism, reasoning -- simply make an accusation or other attack, never discussing issues, and never answering any subsequent response, for that would dignify the opponent's viewpoint.
7. Question motives. Twist or amplify any fact which could be taken to imply that the opponent operates out of a hidden personal agenda or other bias. This avoids discussing issues and forces the accuser on the defensive.
8. Invoke authority. Claim for yourself or associate yourself with authority and present your argument with enough 'jargon' and 'minutia' to illustrate you are 'one who knows', and simply say it isn't so without discussing issues or demonstrating concretely why or citing sources.
9. Play Dumb. No matter what evidence or logical argument is offered, avoid discussing issues except with denials they have any credibility, make any sense, provide any proof, contain or make a point, have logic, or support a conclusion. Mix well for maximum effect.
10. Associate opponent charges with old news. A derivative of the straw man -- usually, in any large-scale matter of high visibility, someone will make charges early on which can be or were already easily dealt with - a kind of investment for the future should the matter not be so easily contained.) Where it can be foreseen, have your own side raise a straw man issue and have it dealt with early on as part of the initial contingency plans. Subsequent charges, regardless of validity or new ground uncovered, can usually then be associated with the original charge and dismissed as simply being a rehash without need to address current issues -- so much the better where the opponent is or was involved with the original source.
11. Establish and rely upon fall-back positions. Using a minor matter or element of the facts, take the 'high road' and 'confess' with candor that some innocent mistake, in hindsight, was made -- but that opponents have seized on the opportunity to blow it all out of proportion and imply greater criminalities which, 'just isn't so.' Others can reinforce this on your behalf, later, and even publicly 'call for an end to the nonsense' because you have already 'done the right thing.' Done properly, this can garner sympathy and respect for 'coming clean' and 'owning up' to your mistakes without addressing more serious issues.
12. Enigmas have no solution. Drawing upon the overall umbrella of events surrounding the crime and the multitude of players and events, paint the entire affair as too complex to solve. This causes those otherwise following the matter to begin to lose interest more quickly without having to address the actual issues.
13. Alice in Wonderland Logic. Avoid discussion of the issues by reasoning backwards or with an apparent deductive logic which forbears any actual material fact.
14. Demand complete solutions. Avoid the issues by requiring opponents to solve the crime at hand completely, a ploy which works best with issues qualifying for rule 10.
15. Fit the facts to alternate conclusions. This requires creative thinking unless the crime was planned with contingency conclusions in place.
16. Vanish evidence and witnesses. If it does not exist, it is not fact, and you won't have to address the issue.
17. Change the subject. Usually in connection with one of the other ploys listed here, find a way to side-track the discussion with abrasive or controversial comments in hopes of turning attention to a new, more manageable topic. This works especially well with companions who can 'argue' with you over the new topic and polarize the discussion arena in order to avoid discussing more key issues.
18. Emotionalize, Antagonize, and Goad Opponents. If you can't do anything else, chide and taunt your opponents and draw them into emotional responses which will tend to make them look foolish and overly motivated, and generally render their material somewhat less coherent. Not only will you avoid discussing the issues in the first instance, but even if their emotional response addresses the issue, you can further avoid the issues by then focusing on how 'sensitive they are to criticism.'
19. Ignore proof presented, demand impossible proofs. This is perhaps a variant of the 'play dumb' rule. Regardless of what material may be presented by an opponent in public forums, claim the material irrelevant and demand proof that is impossible for the opponent to come by (it may exist, but not be at his disposal, or it may be something which is known to be safely destroyed or withheld, such as a murder weapon.) In order to completely avoid discussing issues, it may be required that you to categorically deny and be critical of media or books as valid sources, deny that witnesses are acceptable, or even deny that statements made by government or other authorities have any meaning or relevance.
20. False evidence. Whenever possible, introduce new facts or clues designed and manufactured to conflict with opponent presentations -- as useful tools to neutralize sensitive issues or impede resolution. This works best when the crime was designed with contingencies for the purpose, and the facts cannot be easily separated from the fabrications.
21. Call a Grand Jury, Special Prosecutor, or other empowered investigative body. Subvert the (process) to your benefit and effectively neutralize all sensitive issues without open discussion. Once convened, the evidence and testimony are required to be secret when properly handled. For instance, if you own the prosecuting attorney, it can insure a Grand Jury hears no useful evidence and that the evidence is sealed and unavailable to subsequent investigators. Once a favorable verdict is achieved, the matter can be considered officially closed. Usually, this technique is applied to find the guilty innocent, but it can also be used to obtain charges when seeking to frame a victim.
22. Manufacture a new truth. Create your own expert(s), group(s), author(s), leader(s) or influence existing ones willing to forge new ground via scientific, investigative, or social research or testimony which concludes favorably. In this way, if you must actually address issues, you can do so authoritatively.
23. Create bigger distractions. If the above does not seem to be working to distract from sensitive issues, or to prevent unwanted media coverage of unstoppable events such as trials, create bigger news stories (or treat them as such) to distract the multitudes.
24. Silence critics. If the above methods do not prevail, consider removing opponents from circulation by some definitive solution so that the need to address issues is removed entirely. This can be by their death, arrest and detention, blackmail or destruction of their character by release of blackmail information, or merely by destroying them financially, emotionally, or severely damaging their health.
25. Vanish. If you are a key holder of secrets or otherwise overly illuminated and you think the heat is getting too hot, to avoid the issues, vacate the kitchen.
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Eight Traits of the Disinformationalist
1) Avoidance. They never actually discuss issues head-on or provide constructive input, generally avoiding citation of references or credentials. Rather, they merely imply this, that, and the other. Virtually everything about their presentation implies their authority and expert knowledge in the matter without any further justification for credibility.
2) Selectivity. They tend to pick and choose opponents carefully, either applying the hit-and-run approach against mere commentators supportive of opponents, or focusing heavier attacks on key opponents who are known to directly address issues. Should a commentator become argumentative with any success, the focus will shift to include the commentator as well.
3) Coincidental. They tend to surface suddenly and somewhat coincidentally with a new controversial topic with no clear prior record of participation in general discussions in the particular public arena involved. They likewise tend to vanish once the topic is no longer of general concern. They were likely directed or elected to be there for a reason, and vanish with the reason.
4) Teamwork. They tend to operate in self-congratulatory and complementary packs or teams. Of course, this can happen naturally in any public forum, but there will likely be an ongoing pattern of frequent exchanges of this sort where professionals are involved. Sometimes one of the players will infiltrate the opponent camp to become a source for straw man or other tactics designed to dilute opponent presentation strength.
5) Anti-conspiratorial. They almost always have disdain for 'conspiracy theorists' and, usually, for those who in any way believe JFK was not killed by LHO. Ask yourself why, if they hold such disdain for conspiracy theorists, do they focus on defending a single topic discussed in a NG focusing on conspiracies? One might think they would either be trying to make fools of everyone on every topic, or simply ignore the group they hold in such disdain. Or, one might more rightly conclude they have an ulterior motive for their actions in going out of their way to focus as they do.
6) Artificial Emotions. An odd kind of 'artificial' emotionalism and an unusually thick skin -- an ability to persevere and persist even in the face of overwhelming criticism and unacceptance. This likely stems from intelligence community training that, no matter how condemning the evidence, deny everything, and never become emotionally involved or reactive. The net result for a disinfo artist is that emotions can seem artificial.
Most people, if responding in anger, for instance, will express their animosity throughout their rebuttal. But disinfo types usually have trouble maintaining the 'image' and are hot and cold with respect to pretended emotions and their usually more calm or unemotional communications style. It's just a job, and they often seem unable to 'act their role in character' as well in a communications medium as they might be able in a real face-to-face conversation/confrontation. You might have outright rage and indignation one moment, ho-hum the next, and more anger later -- an emotional yo-yo.
With respect to being thick-skinned, no amount of criticism will deter them from doing their job, and they will generally continue their old disinfo patterns without any adjustments to criticisms of how obvious it is that they play that game -- where a more rational individual who truly cares what others think might seek to improve their communications style, substance, and so forth, or simply give up.
7) Inconsistent. There is also a tendency to make mistakes which betray their true self/motives. This may stem from not really knowing their topic, or it may be somewhat 'freudian', so to speak, in that perhaps they really root for the side of truth deep within.
I have noted that often, they will simply cite contradictory information which neutralizes itself and the author. For instance, one such player claimed to be a Navy pilot, but blamed his poor communicating skills (spelling, grammar, incoherent style) on having only a grade-school education. I'm not aware of too many Navy pilots who don't have a college degree. Another claimed no knowledge of a particular topic/situation but later claimed first-hand knowledge of it.
8) Time Constant. Recently discovered, with respect to News Groups, is the response time factor. There are three ways this can be seen to work, especially when the government or other empowered player is involved in a cover up operation:
a) ANY NG posting by a targeted proponent for truth can result in an IMMEDIATE response. The government and other empowered players can afford to pay people to sit there and watch for an opportunity to do some damage. SINCE DISINFO IN A NG ONLY WORKS IF THE READER SEES IT - FAST RESPONSE IS CALLED FOR, or the visitor may be swayed towards truth.
b) When dealing in more direct ways with a disinformationalist, such as email, DELAY IS CALLED FOR - there will usually be a minimum of a 48-72 hour delay. This allows a sit-down team discussion on response strategy for best effect, and even enough time to 'get permission' or instruction from a formal chain of command.
c) In the NG example 1) above, it will often ALSO be seen that bigger guns are drawn and fired after the same 48-72 hours delay - the team approach in play. This is especially true when the targeted truth seeker or their comments are considered more important with respect to potential to reveal truth. Thus, a serious truth sayer will be attacked twice for the same sin.
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How to Spot a Spy (Cointelpro Agent)
One way to neutralize a potential activist is to get them to be in a group that does all the wrong things. Why?
1) The message doesn't get out.
2) A lot of time is wasted
3) The activist is frustrated and discouraged
4) Nothing good is accomplished.
FBI and Police Informers and Infiltrators will infest any group and they have phoney activist organizations established.
Their purpose is to prevent any real movement for justice or eco-peace from developing in this country.
Agents come in small, medium or large. They can be of any ethnic background. They can be male or female.
The actual size of the group or movement being infiltrated is irrelevant. It is the potential the movement has for becoming large which brings on the spies and saboteurs.
This booklet lists tactics agents use to slow things down, foul things up, destroy the movement and keep tabs on activists.
It is the agent's job to keep the activist from quitting such a group, thus keeping him/her under control.
In some situations, to get control, the agent will tell the activist:

• "You're dividing the movement."

[Here, I have added the psychological reasons as to WHY this maneuver works to control people]
This invites guilty feelings. Many people can be controlled by guilt. The agents begin relationships with activists behind a well-developed mask of "dedication to the cause." Because of their often declared dedication, (and actions designed to prove this), when they criticize the activist, he or she - being truly dedicated to the movement - becomes convinced that somehow, any issues are THEIR fault. This is because a truly dedicated person tends to believe that everyone has a conscience and that nobody would dissimulate and lie like that "on purpose." It's amazing how far agents can go in manipulating an activist because the activist will constantly make excuses for the agent who regularly declares their dedication to the cause. Even if they do, occasionally, suspect the agent, they will pull the wool over their own eyes by rationalizing: "they did that unconsciously... they didn't really mean it... I can help them by being forgiving and accepting " and so on and so forth.
The agent will tell the activist:

• "You're a leader!"

This is designed to enhance the activist's self-esteem. His or her narcissistic admiration of his/her own activist/altruistic intentions increase as he or she identifies with and consciously admires the altruistic declarations of the agent which are deliberately set up to mirror those of the activist.
This is "malignant pseudo identification." It is the process by which the agent consciously imitates or simulates a certain behavior to foster the activist's identification with him/her, thus increasing the activist's vulnerability to exploitation. The agent will simulate the more subtle self-concepts of the activist.
Activists and those who have altruistic self-concepts are most vulnerable to malignant pseudo identification especially during work with the agent when the interaction includes matter relating to their competency, autonomy, or knowledge.
The goal of the agent is to increase the activist's general empathy for the agent through pseudo-identification with the activist's self-concepts.
The most common example of this is the agent who will compliment the activist for his competency or knowledge or value to the movement. On a more subtle level, the agent will simulate affects and mannerisms of the activist which promotes identification via mirroring and feelings of "twinship". It is not unheard of for activists, enamored by the perceived helpfulness and competence of a good agent, to find themselves considering ethical violations and perhaps, even illegal behavior, in the service of their agent/handler.
The activist's "felt quality of perfection" [self-concept] is enhanced, and a strong empathic bond is developed with the agent through his/her imitation and simulation of the victim's own narcissistic investments. [self-concepts] That is, if the activist knows, deep inside, their own dedication to the cause, they will project that onto the agent who is "mirroring" them.
The activist will be deluded into thinking that the agent shares this feeling of identification and bonding. In an activist/social movement setting, the adversarial roles that activists naturally play vis a vis the establishment/government, fosters ongoing processes of intrapsychic splitting so that "twinship alliances" between activist and agent may render whole sectors or reality testing unavailable to the activist. They literally "lose touch with reality."
Activists who deny their own narcissistic investments [do not have a good idea of their own self-concepts and that they ARE concepts] and consciously perceive themselves (accurately, as it were) to be "helpers" endowed with a special amount of altruism are exceedingly vulnerable to the affective (emotional) simulation of the accomplished agent.
Empathy is fostered in the activist through the expression of quite visible affects. The presentation of tearfulness, sadness, longing, fear, remorse, and guilt, may induce in the helper-oriented activist a strong sense of compassion, while unconsciously enhancing the activist's narcissistic investment in self as the embodiment of goodness.
The agent's expresssion of such simulated affects may be quite compelling to the observer and difficult to distinguish from deep emotion.
It can usually be identified by two events, however:
First, the activist who has analyzed his/her own narcissistic roots and is aware of his/her own potential for being "emotionally hooked," will be able to remain cool and unaffected by such emotional outpourings by the agent.
As a result of this unaffected, cool, attitude, the Second event will occur: The agent will recompensate much too quickly following such an affective expression leaving the activist with the impression that "the play has ended, the curtain has fallen," and the imposture, for the moment, has finished. The agent will then move quickly to another activist/victim.
The fact is, the movement doesn't need leaders, it needs MOVERS. "Follow the leader" is a waste of time.
A good agent will want to meet as often as possible. He or she will talk a lot and say little. One can expect an onslaught of long, unresolved discussions.
Some agents take on a pushy, arrogant, or defensive manner:
1) To disrupt the agenda
2) To side-track the discussion
3) To interrupt repeatedly
4) To feign ignorance
5) To make an unfounded accusation against a person.
Calling someone a racist, for example. This tactic is used to discredit a person in the eyes of all other group members.
Saboteurs
Some saboteurs pretend to be activists. She or he will ....
1) Write encyclopedic flyers (in the present day, websites)
2) Print flyers in English only.
3) Have demonstrations in places where no one cares.
4) Solicit funding from rich people instead of grass roots support
5) Display banners with too many words that are confusing.
6) Confuse issues.
7) Make the wrong demands.
8) Compromise the goal.
9) Have endless discussions that waste everyone's time. The agent may accompany the endless discussions with drinking, pot smoking or other amusement to slow down the activist's work.
Provocateurs
1) Want to establish "leaders" to set them up for a fall in order to stop the movement.
2) Suggest doing foolish, illegal things to get the activists in trouble.
3) Encourage militancy.
4) Want to taunt the authorities.
5) Attempt to make the activist compromise their values.
6) Attempt to instigate violence. Activism ought to always be non-violent.
7) Attempt to provoke revolt among people who are ill-prepared to deal with the reaction of the authorities to such violence.
Informants
1) Want everyone to sign up and sing in and sign everything.
2) Ask a lot of questions (gathering data).
3) Want to know what events the activist is planning to attend.
4) Attempt to make the activist defend him or herself to identify his or her beliefs, goals, and level of commitment.
Recruiting
Legitimate activists do not subject people to hours of persuasive dialog. Their actions, beliefs, and goals speak for themselves.
Groups that DO recruit are missionaries, military, and fake political parties or movements set up by agents.
Surveillance
ALWAYS assume that you are under surveillance.
At this point, if you are NOT under surveillance, you are not a very good activist!
Scare Tactics
They use them.
Such tactics include slander, defamation, threats, getting close to disaffected or minimally committed fellow activists to persuade them (via psychological tactics described above) to turn against the movement and give false testimony against their former compatriots. They will plant illegal substances on the activist and set up an arrest; they will plant false information and set up "exposure," they will send incriminating letters [emails] in the name of the activist; and more; they will do whatever society will allow.
This booklet in no way covers all the ways agents use to sabotage the lives of sincere an dedicated activists.
If an agent is "exposed," he or she will be transferred or replaced.
COINTELPRO is still in operation today under a different code name. It is no longer placed on paper where it can be discovered through the freedom of information act.
The FBI counterintelligence program's stated purpose: To expose, disrupt, misdirect, discredit, and otherwise neutralize individuals who the FBI categorize as opposed to the National Interests. "National Security" means the FBI's security from the people ever finding out the vicious things it does in violation of people's civil liberties.
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Seventeen Techniques for Truth Suppression
Strong, credible allegations of high-level criminal activity can bring down a government. When the government lacks an effective, fact-based defense, other techniques must be employed. The success of these techniques depends heavily upon a cooperative, compliant press and a mere token opposition party.
1. Dummy up. If it's not reported, if it's not news, it didn't happen.
2. Wax indignant. This is also known as the "How dare you?" gambit.
3. Characterize the charges as "rumors" or, better yet, "wild rumors." If, in spite of the news blackout, the public is still able to learn about the suspicious facts, it can only be through "rumors." (If they tend to believe the "rumors" it must be because they are simply "paranoid" or "hysterical.")
4. Knock down straw men. Deal only with the weakest aspects of the weakest charges. Even better, create your own straw men. Make up wild rumors (or plant false stories) and give them lead play when you appear to debunk all the charges, real and fanciful alike.
5. Call the skeptics names like "conspiracy theorist," "nutcase," "ranter," "kook," "crackpot," and, of course, "rumor monger." Be sure, too, to use heavily loaded verbs and adjectives when characterizing their charges and defending the "more reasonable" government and its defenders. You must then carefully avoid fair and open debate with any of the people you have thus maligned. For insurance, set up your own "skeptics" to shoot down.
6. Impugn motives. Attempt to marginalize the critics by suggesting strongly that they are not really interested in the truth but are simply pursuing a partisan political agenda or are out to make money (compared to over-compensated adherents to the government line who, presumably, are not).
7. Invoke authority. Here the controlled press and the sham opposition can be very useful.
8. Dismiss the charges as "old news."
9. Come half-clean. This is also known as "confession and avoidance" or "taking the limited hangout route." This way, you create the impression of candor and honesty while you admit only to relatively harmless, less-than-criminal "mistakes." This stratagem often requires the embrace of a fall-back position quite different from the one originally taken. With effective damage control, the fall-back position need only be peddled by stooge skeptics to carefully limited markets.
10. Characterize the crimes as impossibly complex and the truth as ultimately unknowable.
11. Reason backward, using the deductive method with a vengeance. With thoroughly rigorous deduction, troublesome evidence is irrelevant. E.g. We have a completely free press. If evidence exists that the Vince Foster "suicide" note was forged, they would have reported it. They haven't reported it so there is no such evidence. Another variation on this theme involves the likelihood of a conspiracy leaker and a press who would report the leak.
12. Require the skeptics to solve the crime completely. E.g. If Foster was murdered, who did it and why?
13. Change the subject. This technique includes creating and/or publicizing distractions.
14. Lightly report incriminating facts, and then make nothing of them. This is sometimes referred to as "bump and run" reporting.
15. Baldly and brazenly lie. A favorite way of doing this is to attribute the "facts" furnished the public to a plausible-sounding, but anonymous, source.
16. Expanding further on numbers 4 and 5, have your own stooges "expose" scandals and champion popular causes. Their job is to pre-empt real opponents and to play 99-yard football. A variation is to pay rich people for the job who will pretend to spend their own money.
17. Flood the Internet with agents. This is the answer to the question, "What could possibly motivate a person to spend hour upon hour on Internet news groups defending the government and/or the press and harassing genuine critics?" Don t the authorities have defenders enough in all the newspapers, magazines, radio, and television? One would think refusing to print critical letters and screening out serious callers or dumping them from radio talk shows would be control enough, but, obviously, it is not.

I work in biotech and have been with this company for 3 years. Before that I was with an academic lab/core working with the same things for 2.5 years.
I worked really, really hard at the academic lab. Only took time off if I was sick and then only if I couldn't function. I rarely took a lunch because I was so busy I didn't have time to eat. I'd easily work 10-12 hour days and always got paid for it. My boss was super appreciative and promised me a promotion that never materialized. He blamed it on HR which I want to give the benefit of doubt to him and believe but I never got a promotion. I got tired of the constant push and poor pay. I was about to be living without a roommate and could not afford it. So I looked for a job in the industry and got one.
At first I was excited because it was way more pay and set 9-5 hours and people were pretty relaxed about that. Things went well for the first year. I got to help on projects and it really seemed like the role was working for me. However, I never heard a whisper of a promotion nor any discussions about my career prospects within the group. I felt invisible to my manager and just drifted through the work hoping something would change.
It did in the form of a new manager. My previous one was promoted and someone under her was then promoted who I got along with. I thought "alright, now things might be changing!". They did not as it was the same old same old. He did help me put together some goals to learn new instruments and techniques but I was always so busy I couldn't do them.
A few months later a new guy gets brought in and one day after a department-wide meeting, a bunch of us were asked to stay. We were being moved under the new guy to basically do nothing but what I was already doing. I was furious because it felt like I was boxed into a corner to be yet again forgotten about and left to the wolves. They guy was pretty nice and approachable.
This didn't last more than maybe 3 months before he brought someone in personally to oversee our group since he was the director or whatever of our group (dumb workplace hierarchy stuff). So in about 9 months I'd went through 3 managers. None of whom gave any real guidance and didn't seem to take an interest in being a manager and helping your direct reports grow.
I did not like the new guy at all. He gave me a really weird vibe that just made me uncomfortable. That sort of went away as I got to know him a bit but he was still always a little awkward and off putting to me. By this point I felt completely boxed out of any opportunity. He let me help on a long term project but that's about it. I've been doing nothing but the same thing since I started.
I also struggle with depression, anxiety, and chronic migraines. A fact that I had to embarrassingly bring up in a meeting with him, my previous manager, and HR. I was in trouble because I'd missed 2 days without saying anything. At the time this happened I was experiencing really bad withdrawal symptoms from running out of a medication that took a few days to sort out. I also mentioned my chronic migraines as being a reason for absences and having to resort to PTO since I'd ran out of sick days.
They seemed very understanding and offered me support and just wanted me to fix being late all the time and lower productivity. I did my best and was able to appease them. That is until recently. I'd went on a vacation with my partner and took Monday off the week I'd be returning to work. Except I totally forgot to submit the PTO. I'd thought I had done this, genuinely but my manager was a real dick about it. He clearly didn't believe me, used my last incident against me, called me unreliable, told me to get my shit together because I'd forgotten to do some things that he'd said weren't urgent.
Needless to say, I left that meeting feeling really down but not worried. Then a few weeks ago I took a long weekend to go see a friend. I ended up getting sick with an ear infection the day after I got back so I was out for 2 days. Both were submitted and he knew. The second day, I see another meeting with him, my previous manager, and HR. This time they were far less friendly and understanding. The HR guy accused me of abusing PTO for sick leave (I've been out of sick leave since February due to chronic migraines). Now I'm to go on a PIP and I feel like my days are numbered. I tried to use my latest performance review to stick up for me but my own boss acted almost as if it didn't say what it said and HR guy interrupted me and told me the performance review doesn't matter. So I just shut down and let them speak their piece and then I left the meeting. I feel like my manager just wants me gone and doesn't like me which is fair because I don't like him.
I've already started looking for new jobs but I'm not even sure if I want to stay in this career anymore. I'm burned out and tired. I'm not listened to nor accommodated as I feel this should be. I've applied for FMLA to use intermittently for my illness but I feel their just going to fire me anyway. I'm hoping they offer a severance and me quitting in lieu of a PIP but they probably won't. This company doesn't care about any of us. None of them do.
Has anyone else had a similar experience? How did you handle it? I also want to sit down with HR myself and tell my side of things now that I've had time to process and collect my thoughts but I don't think it'd do any good. Sorry for the long rambling rant! I tried to break it up into paragraphs instead of a big wall of text.