Saying about phony friends

Title says it all.
Dami kong kwento na gusto ishare to non-judgmental strangers (actually not sure din haha) and hopefully maging friends na din after!
To be honest medyo may success rate naman from strangers to friends dito sa Reddit, mga 15% ng nakakausap ko nagiging friends and long-time kakwentuhan na din. Taasan natin 'yung percentage please!
About me: 1. Chikadora 2. May times na delayed ang reply due to work pero kaya makabawi 3. Single parent, gamer (mobile), music savant (huwaw), working professional, film and series enjoyer
About you: 1. Madami ding chika sa buhay kasi chismosa din ako
Strictly SFW please!

Once upon a time i was doing van life and started a like illegitimate surf photography business. I grew up surfing so i had some inside knowledge on how it worked and i wanted to make money on my own terms. One day wt the beach while advertising my services, a girl approached me and started up a conversation. She seemed cool and told me she had just graduated college and was visiting from a near by inland city. I was like 25 at the time. She asked me for my number and texted me that night saying she might be interested in a photo session and that she'll hit me up. A couple of days later she hits me up and asks if i want to hangout and surf on her day off coming up. I had to clarify, "did you want photos or did you want to hangout" over text, since i needed money and i wasnt going to just give this random girl free photos before we actually became friends. She said she wanted to hangout, and wanted to go on a hike after surfing. So the day comes along and we meet up and she starts going into her personal life a bit more as were watching the waves. She tells me something about her dad and not wanting to move back in with her parents. I explained to her how the surf worked and how the best places to walk down to the surf and stuff, pretty much introducing her to the spot because she was new. So the time comes where basically i just want to be sure what her expectations are and im sort of still confused whether she actually just wants to hangout or whether she wants photos, "okay so photos or surf together". So she answers "i dont knoooowww". I was basically just like "okay you want photos" in a kind of dissappointed way because i think at this point i decided she was just sending mixed signals trying to get free photo session from me. So i took photos of her for like an hour, and practically the whole time she was like chatting up and flirting with another guy in the line up. It made me sick to my stomach, and i felt like the situation was like off. So i went to my van after deciding to stop taking photos and processed the photos and texted the girl "okay photos are done and are $$ dollars if you want to buy them for the hour, also if you still want to hike let me know" still not really knowing if i was sort of overreacting or soemething. so she texts me after she gets out of the water "oh im actually got something that came up blah blah blah" so im like okay this girl sucks she was definitely just trying to make it seem like she was interested in me to get free photos, but at the same time theres like an inkling of doubt because before she went into the water the conversation was so good and seemed so genuine and there was kind of a tension between us but i think it was just because she was a floosy. But anyway i just write it off as a waste of time pretty much like shes just a horny girl who expects favors for how she looks, like my least favorite kind of person. So the next day comes along and i run into her at the same beach, and im actually pretty surprised shes there. So my car key had just fallen out of my pocket in the surf, and i was pretty flustered so i was kind of relieved to see someone that was familiar. I started to approach her and she was making this really weird face. Then i was like wtf kind of and then i said "hey i just lost my key, what are you still doing here" and she was like really obnoxiously like " what i cant hear you" like gaslighting me when she was like obviously able to hear me. She was acting like we hadnt even talked before, Her body language was like really bitchy, so i like stepped away and got an even worse feeling in my stomach and left the conversation. I went to my van and like realized this girl had used me, wasted my time, and was now trying to like vibe me out of the spot that i had introduced her to. So with the whole thing of losing my key and with her acting like a bitch, i got pretty pissed and flustered even more, with like major anxiety and like thinking to myself, how could i let this shit happen to me, like she made me feel so shitty. So from the cliff above i went and was like "hey fuck you get out of here, you should leave" cause i felt like she had like totally crossed the line and then went back to my van and texted her like "wtf is your deal, where do you get off, like you should apologize to me." So like a few hours passed and she didnt reply, and i was still pissed and at this point i was like trying to find the humor in it, and i think the whole situation triggered like a manic episode. So i was like okay two can play at the game of being rude and offensive, and at this point i had no respect for her so i sent a text that said "ill lick your asshole next time you come back here" thinking it was like the funniest thing because in my mind i was like who says something like that like thats gross, i was just trying to get her to react or feel like taken back like i did from the whole situation and just wanted a reaction out of her. So she never replied hahah and i was like okay i actually feel weird about sending that text so i sent her a text saying like " okay hahaha that was weird sorry" but part of me is also like that was a weird thing to say but its also kind of funny and that girl sucked and i didnt mean anything like literal from it. But yeah i just didnt know how to react in the situation and just like very spontaneously sent that text and i that whole situation like sucked but yeah i dont think ill ever send something like that again.

Hi all!
I consider myself demisexual and have a LDR going on. We are both in our 30s, I'm very experienced but he has had nobody before. I was his first for literally everything, even hand holding and cuddling, dating, flirting, literally everything. He has been alone his whole life and never known love or affection. Over the years he has struggled with loneliness and needed professional help for his issues and depression. We have been friends for nearly 20 years and have the most deep emotional connection I've ever felt with anybody, kindred spirits and we both recently realized we've always loved each other since we were young and life has just always had a way of bringing us back together. I think that's why my attraction to him is so strong. He is honestly the first man in my life that I have had thoughts that he is just "my person", and my gut just tells me this is it and I feel like home when I'm with him.
I believe we are both on the spectrum, but he has so much less experience than me so he's extremely introverted, aloof and distant on the surface. We met in person recently and I flew 4000 miles to see him. Instantly comfortable, felt like home, he told me he loved me on the first night (which may have unexpectedly been the happiest moment of my life) and I had to initiate cuddling and he was physically shaking. It was his idea to go further, and it was extremely special and emotional. We did it a few times and he seemed really into it, he seemed absolutely intoxicated by me and kept saying how beautiful I was and how much he loves me, but on day 3 he started being distant and opened up that he isn't sure how he feels about physical touch. He said he isn't used to it at all, some areas makes his body recoil somewhat and not sure what he feels from it. He also has a medical issue of chronic pain and I think it was very taxing on his body and he got scared that he wasn't "good enough" for my physical needs. He did also mention confusion around demisexuality and asexuality, but he definitely has libido, toys and watches porn. (Which I'm fine with, I do too!)
He likes holding hands while we are out but I have to initiate it, he never touches me. At first I was a bit rejected but I learned to appreciate other love languages from him even more. Quality time and acts of service, he made me feel like an absolute queen. He said recently he likes being intimate but for now he prefers just being around a loved one but he still is processing everything, and this is all new and he's not sure how to be in a relationship.
We communicate in a healthy way, and understand each other well, I'm used to relationships with a lot of physical touch (that fizzle out tbh) so it's a learning curve for me too to feel loved in other ways that I haven't before. I try and use positive reinforcement and gratitude to help him learn as I know he has no clue what to do and he is slowly building confidence and he is happy and has better self esteem now. ☺️❤️
Could he be ace? If so, can I have some help understanding a bit more? I sometimes worry he will just do anything for me and I want him to be happy, feel safe and comfortable and to express his own needs and boundaries too. He's not very affectionate with words either unless you specifically ask him how he feels. He tells me he loves me every day though which makes me happy.
I don't think he's aromantic, as he mentioned in the past he has had a deep longing for a romantic partner and has tried dating apps, and soon after he confessed to always liking me but thought he wasn't good enough.
If any of this sounds like an ace man then I would love some more insight in how I can be a better partner!

I (36M) have 2 kids (16F & 14M) from a previous marriage. My ex (34F) and I share custody but because she lives in a better school district she primarily has them during the school year and I get extended time with them during the summer. For the past 4-5 years I have taken the kids on a fun summer road trip. The three of us plan a destination and pick things we want to see on the way there and back. It's been a great bonding experience for us and a lot of fun. Last year I let each kid bring one friend along on the trip and am doing the same thing this year. We are planning on leaving for the trip next weekend.
My son is an outgoing, gregarious kid who is involved in multiple sports and has a long list of close friends. My daughter, on the other hand, is very much an introvert and only has a few friends that I know of. The friend she brought with last year is definitely her closest friend. She was planning on bringing the same girl with on our trip this year.
Unfortunately, my daughter's friend had a fall a couple weeks ago while riding her bike and broke her leg & collarbone. Obviously, she would be very uncomfortable sitting in a car for long periods and there are stops on our trip where she would be unable to participate in the activities we want to do. There are also a couple places we planned on camping that I just don't think will work for her. My daughter says her friend still wants to come with and her parents are OK with it but I don't think it's a good idea.
I suggested to my daughter that she invite a different friend but she says she doesn't have anyone else she wants to ask. I might have messed up but I went behind her back and talked with her friend's parents about it. I expressed my concerns about their daughter coming on the trip and I guess the two girls did not give them a complete rundown of the activities we have planned. After our conversation, they agreed that it would probably be best if their daughter stayed home.
As you can imagine, my daughter did not take this news well. She is very angry with me and thinks I sabotaged her friend coming with on purpose. She has been begging me to cancel/change some of our plans so that her friend can still come with. I told her that both me and her friend's parents agree that her friend coming with isn't a good idea, so this isn't just my decision.
She is now threatening to not come on the trip at all if her friend can't come. I do feel bad about the whole thing, but at this point I don't think there's much else I could do to make this work. I mean, yes, I could alter plans to make things easier for her friend, but with how limited her mobility is going to be that probably wouldn't be much fun for everyone else.
My ex thinks I should do whatever it takes to get my daughter back on board so that she isn't excluded. But that just isn't realistic. I'm also worried that this will be the last year this sort of trip happens because summers get busy for teenagers.

I recently started dating a pisces man who i’ve been friends with for years but lost touch with and rekindled. he had made it clear he had feelings for me in the past and that’s why he reached back out. I did too so I decided to give it a chance. we went on 2 really great dates this past weekend, we connected better than I have with any guy i’ve ever dated and I laughed more than I have in a long time. he’s been pretty good with texting and communicating but sometimes I feel like he can be wishy washy with the way he texts me or what he’s saying. a bit moody almost.
curious to learn more about what it’s like to be with a pisces man and any tips for early on dating. i’d like to continue seeing him and don’t want to mess this up so anything that helps to better understand

The fast someone could be is to deliver 120 packages per hour, meaning 2 package per minute.
Sometimes we deliver 5 packages to the same location, it is 5 packages in one minute, right?
Don't forget about the time driving. And your breaks, all of them.
So to be realistic 60 packages per hour is insane, unless you delivering to lockers. But let's keep on the houses and apartments scenario.
So 40 packages per hour is very fast. It will be possible sometimes. Considering 6 hours of labor it would be 240 packages. But we often hear someone say that he has 400 packages, 350 packages. How do they deliver it all in the same 6 hours that all the drivers have? I don't know.
If you work for a good DSP as I am, you would have somebody to help you if you package count gets close to 300. Leaving you with 250, or even 150 on the beginning of your route, a dream, right?
So going back to speed.
To keep the pace you need to focus and avoid distraction.
Drive, stop, take package, deliver, drive, stop, take a package, deliver, drive.....
Avoid looking on your personal phone during work time, that is valid for all kind of jobs.
If you like to listen to music or podcasts/videos, prepare your playlist before your shift.
Know your route. Give a look on the map before you start driving, know where you gonna be.
Organize your van. Be able to use all the door easily.
Organize the packages. There are a lot of methods to do it, find one that works for you. So you know where they are and you don't need to look for them at every stop.
Some drivers use the Sharpie to write big the colored sticker number on the boxes so they can see easily.
Remember access codes, make your won't record of access codes. Ask dispatch if they have a code for that address. Try to ask the customer and neighbors (for apartment buildings) what's the code, be friendly.
With time on the same route you will learn and memorize the paths and shortcuts.
Use elevator to go up and stairs to go down. Watch your steps.
You can use the tote to care lot of packages. Just drag them. Use a piece of rope or the tote plastic cover to hold, because the handles are too short while dragging it.
Have paper and pen, you may need it.
Don't be too fast on the first week, you are learning it's ok to be slow a bit. Try to know what time the other drivers usually finish their routes so you can be in that same range. Be discreet.

My girlfriend (F 21) and I (F 20) have been together for 8 months now, and everything is amazing. I truly love her, and I’m 100% sure that she’s the girl I want to spend my life with.
The problem is that I’ve had a platonic crush on a girl (F 20) from college for almost 2 years. I have never talked to her, and I have never even thought about her in a romantic way. I only find her attractive (she looks identical to my celebrity crush, so it’s understandable). For example, I might see her in the corridor or in a class, and I’m like, “eheheh it’s her,” but that’s it, nothing more. All my friends know about this girl, and so does my girlfriend. We actually joke around about this situation together. My girlfriend actually jokes also about the fact that this girl also noticed me, since we realized that sometimes she is the first one looking at me when we’re in the same room.
Anyway, last month I talked to her for the first time in my life because of an assignment. It was purely for a college class, but after that conversation, I’ve been thinking about her a little more. Again, not in a romantic way, but, for example, I pay more attention to where she is when I’m at college. Not in a creepy way—I just look around to see if she’s nearby. I don’t even stare at her if she is around; I just notice that she’s there and that’s it. From that assignment we sometimes say hello to each other when we cross paths and we talked another 2 times, but it was just about exams. Yesterday, though, I was about to fall asleep and I thought about me and this girl on a date at the park for something like thirty minutes. It felt nice until I realized what I was thinking, and I was like, wtf?
I don’t know if I’m just overthinking something dumb or if I’m actually a bad person for thinking about a date with another girl while in a relationship. Please, I don’t know what to do, should I tell my girlfriend about this or not? Plus I’m also overthinking that these intrusive thoughts will improve and maybe I’ll create other scenarios, I’m feeling really disappointed in myself because I do love my girl, she’s my person and I would never change that

Hey. I’m a 20 year old dude. Just looking for friends I guess. I play a lot of Xbox. DayZ mainly. But I’ve played everything and replay a lot of games often. I watch a lot of Tv too. Pretty much anything pop culture I can get my hands on. So I’ve consumed a lot of media. Just got onto the last episode of Moral Orel currently. I also like sports. Basketball, baseball, football. I’m unemployed and my knee if fucked so I have a lot of free time. I also make music that’s not very good. Not really sure what else I’m suppose to say but if you jus wanna play Xbox wit a cool dude while we hang on discord or jus chat on discord whatever lmk. Oh and I read. I feel like enough people don’t read real books so if you like real books talk to about Dune. New obsession fr

We had to say goodbye to my lovely, beautiful black lab Jade yesterday, she was 14 which I get told is a great age, she was stiff and had arthritis, she had a limp but still loved to have little runs around the place, but just yesterday her silly left legs just didnt want to work properly, she couldnt really get up on her own, she was stumbling around so we thought it was time, that it wasnt fair for her.
Now a day later, I'm still so sad when I think of her, the fact she isn't just in the livingroom sleeping but instead theres a big clean patch where her bed lay for all those years (the bed is still in my dads car, because we didn't want to bring it back in without her). I just hate myself because I want to believe it was what she wanted but theres that part of me who is telling me that she could have gotten better and just 1 day of her silly little legs being a bother would have fixed itself and she didnt have to bloody go, I hate it so much, I want to cry but I feel like I almost have to force myself. She was my best friend that joined the family when I was only 13 and im 26 now, and I'm so scared of forgetting all the things I loved about her she was just so perfect and it feels so empty without her. I just want to hug and kiss her head again man. i dont know what to do. I go downstairs to make food and I just want her to come tapping through to see me but I know she isnt there. theres so much I want to write about her, but I just cant put it together, it would just be me repeating myself and rambing more than I already am.

I posted here about a friends husband who is on deportation proceedings…. She is a green card holder and she has a son with her husband who is an American citizen. 2 yrs old.
His master hearing is coming up…. What is she to expect?
Backstory: He was convicted of healthcare fraud in 2018. He travelled outside the country and was flagged in the airport. Has been in detention facility for almost 3 months now. His job has asked him to resign as he has not reported to work . The family is devastated. Immigration is saying he committed a crime of moral turpeitude.
He has since then (2018) improved himself, went to school has been working…. Just an unfortunate situation when he worked in 2013 for home health and was an errand boy for the Supervisor . They have a lawyer who is handling this case. Filed for I-160
What is she to expect ? Will he be deported? Does he have a chance ?
Can he also get a good job here in the states after he’s released? My friend has a good job and she’s worried it’s a long shot,long road.
Please advise.

I’ve been reading about the The Full Load podcast on some comments …
I don’t know what I was expecting, but it was a full hour and 18 minutes of what felt like a phone call with a good friend. They have a fan for life now.
What blows my mind is that this came out January 7th - almost 5 full months ago, and not a soul has yet to say anything.
Not a SOUL.
I also can’t come up with any good reason (other than they are hoping to press charges of greater value) why the owner, party host, whomever was not charged with providing alcohol to minors?!

I haven’t googled how many vets are in her town but probably not a ton. Theoretically, couldn’t someone call around and say you want to help pay on her bill and if they know nothing about it, she wasn’t there. Not perfect, if she paid in full there wouldn’t be a bill but the office might say something like it’s already paid in full.
I had a friend with a very sick dog in another state. I wasn’t sure which vet she went to but wanted you to know help with the bill. I called several - first couple didn’t have a patient by that name but then I struck gold with the next call. Unfortunately, it was paid in full - the girl said oh I’m sorry that bill has already been paid. I just provided the dogs name and my friends first and last name when I called 😉😉😉😉😉

I’m rereading the Discworld books and this time I decided to read them in character order. I started the Guards books, read them and discovered how much more wonderful they are on a reread. Night Watch and then Thud had me absolutely enthralled! Now I’m reading Snuff and it feels almost painful to know this is the last Vimes-centered book. I feel like finishing this book will be like losing a good friend, maybe like saying goodbye to Sir Terry again. I know there are other Discworld books to read but I just haven’t felt this way about the characters before. Anyone else have this sad feeling about finishing these books? I’m tearing up just writing this.

i have many mental issues that neither my family or my school ever tried to give me any support with and it made school complete hell.
i have autism and adhd and im trying to get diagnosed with ocd.
i couldn't focus in class or do any of the work im pretty sure i had one of the worse grades in the school. the stress fucked up my stomach and i had stomach problems every single day to the point i had to ask to use the toilet like 3 times in one 40minute class
i dident realy get along with anyone. i talked to some people but i only hung out with them once after school and never again.
people thought i was weird and either dident like me or dident care about me existing
someone even asked about me in school after i left and the person had no idea i was ever their even though i was their for 4 years
something made me very upset one day so i decided to just leave. i had to wait like 3 months until all the paperwork was signed and then i left.
i went to this course for a year it was nice but i dident learn much
tried collage and i left after 2 months because my stomach got worse again and i was again to stupid to do the work
went by the school for the first time in like 2 years and they got better chairs and everything. of course as soon as i leave they make the school
please dont say everyone hated school its a lie and im not going to be gaslight everyone always says how much they miss the good times they had with their friends and that it was the best times of their lives.
guess it will just keep getting worse forever. no one here can afford rent let alone me who gets 800 a month for disability. climate change is going to kill tens of millions of people in my life time and i cant do anything about it
it would be nice to at least have some good times to look back on. to bad i was just born with bad luck

I have a lot going on in my mind, but i dont know what to say, or dont have the energy.
My anxiety and depression started to severly affect my life 10 years ago for the first time, when i was 19. I am 29 now, had a great job that I just quit with the excuse of physical health issues (spinal cord/nerve issue makinh it harder for me to sit), but i think what i am suffering with is my mind. Been diagnosed with ADHD 5 months ago. So I've been voluntarily jobless for 2 months now.
I wanted to take a break for myself and get better. I wanted to travel and learn new things. But, just a month before my last day at work, I texted my ex to check how he is doing. He has tried to contact me over the past 4 years, but since all his communication seemed accusatory, I thought i was protecting myself by avoiding him. This was my only relationship, we were together (long distance) for 4 years. He was inconsistent and dishonest from the get go. He would lie to me about going out with his female friends, would talk to them for hours and ignore me. He always called me crazy for misunderstanding friendship, but you dont hide it from your partner if there's nothing wrong in what you are doing. He was always harsh with me when i wanted to discuss that it hurts me. I used to text him in panic sometimes, because i didnt know who else to contact when i didnt understand what i was going through. I was feeling suicidal, consistent panic attacks, and a volatile relationship did not help. He was abusive on calls, and never respected me. He would force me to do things, and threaten to stop talking if I didnt do them. And whenever i tried to walk away, he would come back asking to patch up, but the same pattern continued.
As i was having a hard time keepinh myself alive due to my mental health issues, i couldnt take the disrespect anymore, and said i wanted to leave him. I think he thought i would never leave anyway, and provoked me to block him. So in a fit of panic, i blocked him. He owed me a lot of money, so that is the last rhing i asked him to return out of spite. Then he started sending texts that i am doing this to torture him, that i love him and that he didnt understand why i would do this. But i was so anxious all the time, i just couldnt deal with it anymore. The few times i did pick up the call, he would say things like "tell me your decision now or i will decide what i will do with my life" implyinh he would kill himself. I told him i can redirect him to resources that can help, but that i cant be in the relationship because i dont feel safe anymore. He was always very unstable and never ready to have a proper conversation. So everything he said seemed like emotional manipulation. But everytime i read the texts he sent, about how awful and hopeless he felt after i blocked, i feel like i monster. I cant help but feel guilty about the way i dealt with it.
I went to therapy later, also had a phase of self-care when i was lookinh forward to my future, and then fell back to hectic work. But have been feeling extremely anxious and hopeless since August last year - that is when i reached out for a diagnosis and got diagnosed with ADHD in January.
I dont know what made me want to contact him, but after an episode of panic attack in March, I just texted a 'how are you'. He responded well, and we had a normal chat about current worklife. Then 2 daya later, he called me and apologized for the way he treated me. He cried and opened up about his thought process behind everything, or what he rhought he was doing. This was the first time ever, that i felt like he opened up to me the way I craved. Then we talked for about 10 hours the two days, and he kept sending me good morning texts, and was worried about my physical health. He started giving me tips, and checking upon my exercise and schedule everyday. He called me everyday for the month, and even used to text me if he was going to be unavailable (he never did that when we were together). He asked me to meet multiple times, but i didnt agree to - until after 1.5 months have passed. By then, he had made many remarks about our relationship, reminiscing, when i didnt bring anything up. When we met, he held my hands multiple times, and even pulled me in for a hug (which i withdrew from) when he saw a note in my phone about my anxiety at night and also wondering about my love for him.
After I got home, i felt uneasy, and started the conversation to confirm where we are headed, and that i was starting to get attached to him again, so if this is just friendship, i cant do it anymore. He said he was just being a friend, and that triggered every bad memory i forgot about our relationship. Why would he be so kind, gentle and all things i craved for when we were together, call me everyday, hold my hands multiple times, and call it friendship? like i misunderstood? I sent a few frantic texts and he refuses to be honest and respond on why he behaved that way.
and maybe it's the free time without job, but i feel so depressed and powerless this time. i know its not the relationship that's making me suicidal. It's just my brain being frantic all the time, evern when there is nothing to stress about. i feel like i can go to the best beach in the world, and still feel anxious and breathless. I am seeking therapy again, but all thoughts i have are - i want to get things in order and actually kill myself. i fought the urge for 10 yeqrs, but i dont think i can anymore. i dont know what to do with my life.
and the funny thing is, i feel like i will feel better and want to live if he calls me everyday again. but i guess he doesnt care because i abandoned him years ago when he couldnt deal with the break up too, so i am the "cruel" one. he kept saying i only asked for the money back, which he still hasnt returned, but forgets about all the years i fought for him, for us. my parents are conservative, so it was even harder to hide this from them. why do i feel so powerless now, knowinh that he is actually capable of being better and somebody else is going to get that version? i know this is not rhe end of the world. but i feel like, due to my mental healrh issues, i am hyperfixating on this - hoping that getting some love will fix me. but no, it's always something wrong with me, i feel horrible for being rhis vulnerable and unstable. i kmow i can do better, i jave been there for everybody for years, but i just dont know what to do with myseld anymore. i wamt this pain to end.

I (30F) have always had a rocky relationship with my parents. Being the only child I had to play therapist and dealt with their helicopter patenting. I was never able to sustain emotional connections and friendships due to me not being able to hang out with friends etc.
My mother's rule was "friends need to stay at school." I was not allowed to wear certain clothing. I wanted to wear skirts and dresses (when i first wore one it resulted in a 4 day fight and silent treatment). Never was allowed to go out or just simple dates until I begged and cried to let me go. Never was able to have a relationship until 22 and that was a shitshow in the start as well.
I was however in school clubs and could get away with it because it counted towards school credits and would help me get some scholarships.
My dad would let me have some freedom as he pushed me to go on a school trip overseas (chaperoned by school staff) through a HS program. My mom had issues initially but didnt say much as my dad was on my side. My dad sometimes would agree with her just to agree or get influenced as well on certain things because she then would give him a silent treatment as well.
Anyway, I wanted to get a job as I was transitioning from HS to college and again it was a huge thing. She convinced my father that it was a bad decision that I worked. And won't focus on school. Mind you was a honor roll student throughout HS. I was able to get my first job again through a loophole at school where I could also get credits for working, if my supervisor gave me good evaluations and get paid. I didn't get my driver's license until later on so she would have to drop and pick me up EVERYWHERE so i rushed to finally get one. I wanted to move away for college thinking that would be able to do something but then they moved with me to save money on room and board. I would sometimes have evening classes and sometimes my mother would stand outside if I was even a little late from college (I am 21 at this point) coming back. Couldn't make new friends at school, had to beg my mom let me go out so friendships would always fall out.
I learned quickly that the only way I could get control over my life is my moving out. So I got a full time job (another huge issue) when I was in my last year of college, I started applying like crazy to be in a different cities to get my food in the door for my career. And I was able to get a job and move away. A thing to note is that I had to do this quickly when my mother was out of country otherwise as always it was going to be a huge problem. She had a huge problem with it and kept telling my father to stop me (he was not with her when she was out of the country). It was all like "why she always like this? Why can't she sit still at home?" "You are letting her get in trouble" Etc. My dad was whatever as he didn't think I would actually get the job but I did. I still remember they thought the offer letter was fake and tried to verify it. It was legit and so I moved.
Soon my bf moved in (another problem initially). But it died down a lot and she toned down her behavior whenever he would be around. Image is a huge thing for her. But would still take jabs under the table. I ignored because if she was direct about it I didn't want to address it.
The final straw that broke me was last week, I had been contact with some friends that I made who also moved away for college etc. This was a friend who kind of understood me as her mother was like that too but she moved to be next to her father and away from her mom.
So she suggested that we can go to a festival together since she just fonished her masters degree. I was elated and said yes. I am currently in my masters program so I felt I deserved a little break.
Also, through therapy I realized that my relationship with my bf was very codependent and clingy and we have had problems due to that a lot so I wanted to work on myself and do my own things to get better to be more emotionally independent.
I mentioned it to her that I am thinking of going to the festival to another country depending on timeoff and money.
She kept asking where I didn't tell her where becausei sensed it was going somewhere.
She started by saying if I ask my bf if he was okay with me going. Recently, I have noticed she usally says that when I do something she doenst agree it. I told her first I don't need permission and second, he is okay with it as he will hang out with his friends.
Then she got furious and said that no I can't go and if I did she would never talk to me again. I was confused because this is not someone I met like online like 2 days ago. It was actually one of my best friends in middle and HS school that I had before we both moved away and kept contact through phone. Also I am 30 freaking years old.
She then continued if I had to go it would have to be with my bf only. I told her that was ridiculous and I was not asking for permission or money. I was just informing her and then she lectured me about always starting something new and one day I will get in trouble etc.
So I went off on her and asked exactly what was the problem. Why did she always had an issue with everything. She has been emotionally unavailable throughout my childhood, pushed me away when I needed her, used me as a catharsis whenever issues occurred between her and my father. When i would confront my father, she would quickly switch sides leaving be baffled. If I used to cry she would tell me I was faking it with crocodile tears. She has no friends so I still let it go and talked to her because at the end of the day I feel guilty and now I am an adult and still didn't want a strained relationship with her.
TLDR: My mother who has always been controlling, told me, a 30 year old that if I traveled with anyone other than my bf she won't talk to me again as I would get myself in trouble. I feel guilty for giving the silent treatment to her as I have always been the one that reaches out first after these situations. How do I cope with this feeling? I have been thinking that maybe I was in the wrong and should just talk to her, apologize, and tell her I am not going.

(name shown are not their real names)
So three people in my circle of friends fought around 3 or 4 weeks ago, we decided to group ourselves together on a group project where we make our own product and sell it to school. I hesitated at first because I wanted to test myself since our teacher gave us a choice where we can do it individually but decided to go along with it because my closest friend among the group, Mark, was telling me it'd be a good idea. Ok, so it started really well, we were 7 in the group and everyone was participating and very productive until the 2nd week where there were only three of us doing all the work including me, Mark, and our other friend.
One night he called me and told me that we should split up with them because the others were not participating anymore but I told him that it was already too late since it's the 2nd week already and that the money of the other members that they shared were already used and splitting up with them at that point will be too much complicated. Dropped the call and decided to game because I really didn't think too much about it.
After gaming, I noticed that there a lot of messages in our group chat and decided to check and back read all the messages, and that's where I saw Mark fighting with the other two members Pau and Clyde. It started with Mark asking the other members if they could come tomorrow for another product making, Clyde said that he has no money to commute and can't go while Pau said she was sick. Mark snapped at them and told them that they were taking it too easy while we were doing all the work while replying some random gifs to their replies as if he was mocking them. That's where I butted in and told Mark to stop sending gibberish while the other two were trying to explain properly, and told the other two that they can't keep missing out because the products we were making are increasing and it was getting hard with just the three of us. I made sure not to take any sides because I didn't want them to think that I'm biased over someone. Mark stopped reading the messages at that point so I decided to dm him and told him that he needs to talk to them to clear the misunderstanding which he oblige. I told them that I get where Mark is coming from because everytime we finished making batches we end up being extremely exhausted and we also have our unfinished assignments on top of that, and I also said that I also get where the other two is coming from since being sick is out of our hands, as well as not having money to commute.The fight was over, Pau and Clyde decided to go using the motorcycle Clyde borrowed from his uncle. I dm'd Pau and told her it's ok to not go since she was sick but she still insisted.
Back to the present, Mark called me earlier saying that we needed to make another batch tomorrow but he was making me do all the talking in the group chat and jokingly said "why don't you say it to them" and laughed, he then replied that they were not really talking to each other anymore and can't stand their attitude. I admit Pau, she has a very sassy attitude so I get where Mark is coming from.
Anyways what bothers me now is that I just learned that they're not talking to each other but I still kept messaging our group chat mentioning them over some memes I was sending and I mean I didn't know that they were still not ok around each other because everytime we made batches I see them making jokes and laughing around each other so I just thought that they were already ok but no, and now all the times I mentioned them over some memes makes it look like I'm forcing them to laugh together without knowing that they still haven't made up yet.

Context: I am a 16-year-old HS student.
So here's the story: H (codename), told me that Kleenex (codename) has a crush on me. I soon realized that I also had a crush on her. However, I'd barely talked to her before, and mainly, she started the conversation, it's only about school. Then, I went and told my friends on Discord, and they didn't believe me at first, but later, they told me to make a move. The very next day, I planned to make a move, but I chickened out last second and didn't talk to her. That night, my friends told me to at least say hi to her, as she is the one who starts the conversations.
They keep pressuring me to at least say hi to her for the next week, but I continue to chicken out every time. Last Friday, I finally said hi to Kleenex, but she didn't respond and walked away. I'm not sure if she heard me, but I did say hi.
Now, H and his friend keep on pressuring me every class to make another move, but I'm not sure on what to do. Can I have some advice?

Long post ahead so bear with me.
I’m 24F dating my 24M boyfriend for 4 years. Overall I’d say our relationship has been pretty good - no serious issues until now, all of our fights have been over his tendency to be moody or passive aggressive.
Some background information: I’m on the neurodivergent spectrum and suffer from depressive episodes, but I’m high functioning because I don’t want it to affect my professional life or anyone else but me. A side effect of that has been my tendency to isolate myself from everyone, which I’ve done for the majority of our relationship - sometimes I didn’t interact with anyone at all except for my family and my bf. I haven’t gone a single day in the last 6 years without any contact with him.
I realized that this wasn’t healthy so this year I decided to try and come out of my shell and build more friendships. It’s a bit hard but I’ve been working on it slowly, and one of my newfound friends was one of my bf’s friends, J (23M), as well - they had been friends for about a year at this point. We hit it off pretty well and as someone who’s really bad at friendships I enjoyed talking to J, but it was strictly platonic - nothing out of the ordinary, exactly like every friendship I have/have ever had. Please keep in mind I did not prioritize interactions I had with J or anyone else over ones I had with my bf.
While my bf initially really liked J, around the time we started becoming friends he started to sour on J until he eventually just started icing him because he didn’t like anything about him all of a sudden, and the only reason he could come up with was “J was annoying.” He also told me he found it “weird” that he chose to be friends with his friend’s gf (confused about that one because I met some of my closest friends through him/his circles). I reassure him that there’s nothing weird going on and my friendship with J is, once again, platonic. In all honesty, I also didn’t really think much of it because I didn’t find J to be annoying and my bf has had a pattern of disliking some of my friends for no apparent reason, even if he’d never talked to them. (My friends are all just goofy nerds so I never really got why.)
3 weeks ago my bf tells me he thinks J is trying to sleep with me but he has no evidence or thoughts to support this. I’m obviously shocked and once again reassure him that I’ve never picked up sleazy vibes from J and he’s never been inappropriate with me. I’ve had really creepy encounters before so I’m always hyperalert about these kinds of things and if I do get those vibes I shut them down immediately.
Onto the main clown show: last week my bf texts me angry that I’ve been lying to him and that I’ve been repeatedly gaslighting him into thinking my friendship with J was normal, but after a conversation with one of his other friends he’s convinced that he’s right and it’s inappropriate for J to be friends with me. Then he goes ahead and texts J to stop texting me and accuses him, amongst other things, of being a creep. To the surprise of absolutely no one, turns out this scenario that my bf created of J secretly trying to steal me away from him was completely false and J is both hurt and pissed about it. He tells him that he’s only ever thought of him as a good friend and he never had ill intentions towards me but he cannot in good conscience be ok with this and subsequently cuts both of us off.
For obvious reasons, I’m extremely pissed about this and we have a blowout fight over it, because turns out I don’t like anyone messing with my friendships like that and falsely accusing someone who’s done nothing wrong to you of being a creep is a shitty thing to do. He genuinely didn’t see anything wrong about what he did and “he did what he had to because he was desperate to get J out of my life and I left him no other choice.” He also told me that if he woke up to find out I did something to cause his friends to cut him off, he’d assume I had a good reason to do so and everything that happened with J was for the best. He screamed at me, accused me of being disrespectful and thinking of him as an insecure loser, called me a whole slew of hurtful things, that I’m disgusting and make him feel worthless and that he fucking hates me repeatedly. It overall just turned into a really ugly mess.
The next morning he was calmer and apologized for the hurtful things he said and that he didn’t mean any of it. He also admitted what he did was wrong, that he overreacted out of paranoia, and that he’s sorry he hurt J and ruined my friendship with him. He admitted that I was right, there wasn’t anything weird going on like he thought and he apologized for messing with my personal life.
The issue is I’m having a hard time processing all of this. First of all this couldn’t have happened at a worse time because I have a lot of personal issues going on that I’m incredibly stressed out about and he’s well aware of that. He’s also aware that I’ve always struggled with making friends, and now any urge I’ve had to do that is gone. I can’t get over him saying I make him feel worthless because I’ve dedicated so much and sacrificed so much to be with him and make him happy every way I could. I’ve never and still don’t prioritize anyone else over him. Having your boyfriend of nearly 5 years tell you he doesn’t trust you and despises you is also pretty fucking shitty because I’ve never done anything distrustful or been anywhere near as hurtful as he has been to me. His apologies sound hollow and lukewarm to me because at the end of the day, he got exactly what he wanted. And I’m left to suck it up and deal with it.
I don’t know what to do and I feel like I’m alone backed into a corner and I’m about to break with all the other things going on in my life. I’m sorry if this post isn’t very coherent but I’m a little tipsy right now. I just feel so violated and I’ve never felt more horrible or alone in my life than I do now and I’ve never not felt like that my entire life. I don’t know and can’t tell if I’m the one who messed up here and what I should do. Any advice, harsh or gentle is appreciated.
TLDR: bf incorrectly assumed mutual friend was trying to sleep with me and subsequently went nuclear on both me and friend. Am hurt and don’t know how or if I should resolve this.

my_qualifications: BTech from a local private but reputed college, 20LPA TC
I am constantly reading about people not finding jobs after their MS. I have admits this year but am seriously contemplating whether financially and overall life-wise its still a good idea. The seniors keep saying that many companies are offshoring and the batch from this year has found some way/any way to stay in US by getting fake letter etc. So the slump from this year may not really 'reduce competition' per se.
So if I go now, I'll graduate in 2025-2026, assuming market condition get better, these unemployed batches would fill in the gap, so I am not sure if I will be able to compete.
A really smart friend from IIT-KGP just found a job after getting laid of in 2023 and he keeps telling me that he is under constant stress of layoffs and visa as a result he is not getting married and he's almost 33 now.
I know a few another friend from NIT who returned to India since his visa was not renewed or something like that,
and I know one guy who left after 3 years on OPT and was telling that he didn't even pay of his loan since the car he purchased and the job he had, he didn't really save much after everything
So compared to the last guy I'll definitely earn and save more in India since I don't have any debt, and even compared to the guy who went to BITS, I'll probably have a similar if not higher net worth while staying in India
Is it still a good ROI to study in US? Because unless the salary differential is good, I am not sure if the 'juice is worth the squeeze'

Me (MtF 18) and my best friend (Cis guy 22) were texting on the phone and the conversation about trans people in sports came up, to which he said he was against the idea because people of different body types should be put together to prevent creating unfair advantages or disadvantages for both cis and trans athletes. I disagreed of course and that led to him getting upset at me for feeling like I misinterpreted his words. Something kind of similar happened a couple months ago, trans people and public restrooms came up and he said trans people shouldn't be allowed to choose not because trans people are dangerous, but that he's worried that cis people could use that for malicious intent being able to choose which restroom. I never considered he was transphobic because he doesn't have anything against us, he just says we shouldn't get special treatment. After the sports argument he said he wanted time to himself despite me pleading to him not too and told me to collect my thoughts. But I can't, he's all I have, I don't have many other friends I only really have him and no one else. I can't lose him, he's saved my life and made me happier than i ever have been, if we stopped being friends I don't know what i would do, who I would talk to, but at the same time if he's transphobic I shouldn't stay for my own sake. I just don't know what to do and i have no one else to go to... I'm sorry

A coworker (Joe) implied I was sexually attracted to another coworker (John) because of their skin color.
From my understanding,(at least according to non-HR people I’ve talked to) making comments about what a person may or may not be attracted to sexually/romantically is sexual harassment. The phrasing of that statement sounds like it’s referring to a persons sexual orientation?
I talked to the John about it and apparently this isn’t the first time Joe has made comments about our relationship to him AND others, implying that we’re more than friends.
John doesn’t care what others say, and says “if they want to talk, let them talk” but it makes me really uncomfortable to know someone is going around spreading rumors about us. I find it disrespectful to me, John, and both our partners (we’re both happily married).
I was wondering if any of this is reportable or something that can be discussed. At the very least, I was thinking I could talk to Joe and ask him not to talk about us in such a way. Joe seems like a hothead and I don’t know if he would misunderstand or something. I could get HR as a middle man? Or would that make the problem worse and I should just ignore it??