Embarking on a fitness journey can be exhilarating, but navigating the vast landscape of supplements and performance enhancers can be overwhelming, especially for beginners. Selective Androgen Receptor Modulators (SARMS) have garnered attention for their potential to accelerate muscle growth and enhance physical performance, but understanding how to use them safely and effectively is paramount. In this beginner-friendly guide, we delve into the fundamentals of SARMS, offering practical insights to help newcomers harness their benefits while minimizing risks.
Understanding SARMS: The Basics
At its core, SARMS are synthetic compounds designed to selectively target androgen receptors in the body. Unlike traditional steroids, which affect multiple tissues indiscriminately, SARMS exert their effects primarily on skeletal muscle and bone tissue, mimicking the actions of testosterone without the associated side effects. This selective action makes SARMS an appealing option for individuals seeking to optimize their training outcomes without compromising their health.
Exploring the Benefits of SARMS
The allure of SARMS lies in their potential to facilitate rapid gains in lean muscle mass, strength, and endurance, making them a valuable adjunct to resistance training and athletic pursuits. Additionally, SARMS may aid in fat loss and promote overall body composition improvements, contributing to a leaner, more defined physique. For beginners seeking to kickstart their fitness journey or break through plateaus, SARMS offer a compelling avenue for realizing their goals.
Navigating Potential Risks and Side Effects
While SARMS hold promise as effective performance enhancers, it's essential to acknowledge and mitigate the associated risks. Common side effects of SARMS use include testosterone suppression, liver toxicity, and lipid imbalances, which can pose significant health concerns if left unchecked. Beginners should exercise caution, starting with conservative dosages and prioritizing regular health monitoring to preemptively address any adverse effects.
For more>> sarms guide
Best Practices for Safe SARMS Use
To maximize the benefits of SARMS while minimizing risks, beginners should adhere to several best practices:

1. Educate Yourself: Familiarize yourself with the properties, dosages, and potential side effects of the specific SARMS you intend to use.
2. Start Low, Go Slow: Begin with the lowest effective dosage and gradually titrate upwards as needed, monitoring your body's response along the way.
3. Prioritize Purity and Quality: Opt for SARMS from reputable suppliers to ensure purity and minimize the risk of contamination or adulteration.
4. Incorporate Supportive Measures: Consider integrating liver support supplements, estrogen blockers, and post-cycle therapy (PCT) protocols to mitigate potential side effects and support overall health.
5. Listen to Your Body: Pay attention to how your body responds to SARMS, adjusting dosage or discontinuing use if you experience any adverse effects or signs of imbalance.

Conclusion: Empowering Your Fitness Journey
As you embark on your fitness journey, SARMS can serve as valuable tools for accelerating progress and realizing your goals. By approaching their use with knowledge, caution, and respect for your body's signals, you can harness the transformative potential of SARMS while safeguarding your health and well-being. Remember, consistency, patience, and a holistic approach to training, nutrition, and recovery are key to achieving sustainable success in your fitness endeavors.

I’m getting really run down right now. My wife and I have been married 7 years with 2 beautiful boys. I want to move back to my hometown, where my parents still reside. My wife gets incredibly anxious about the thought and feels she cannot do it, it’s too scary at the thought. I’m not sure how we can move forward with our relationship if we can’t give this a try.
Background on why: I am the breadwinner with a remote, fantastic job. Can work anywhere—approved already by employer. My wife and I have 2 boys—one of which has several health challenges that we are working our best on him with: OT, Psyches, doctors, our own home therapy and parent practices, it’s very hard, and has been VERY hard on my wife. He is in preschool 5 days a week 9-3. Our 2yo is what you’d call more “typical” compared to his brother at 2. However, he is an awful, awful sleeper. Still cosleeping but waking 3-6 times a night. My wife cannot bring herself to try and help sleep “train” him (we would train him together) to be more self sufficient at sleeping, but constantly complains about how much he is up and how tired she is. I’m up with the boys every morning at 5:30 when the older boys wakes, then with the 2yo between 6-6:30 when he’s up and I let her sleep some more. I cook almost all meals, play, take them outdoors, to the store, do school drop off and pick up, dishes, laundry, etc. I feel I do quite a lot comparatively.
I’m running out of steam. My wife also recently had what I can only reasonably term as a mental breakdown when one of the boys became sick (a stomach bug), and it’s had a prolonged effect on her for a long time now. I got her to a crisis center and helped her finally get a therapist and a psychiatrist. I had been advocating for a year that she needs a therapist, since she stopped seeing her PPD therapist. She still sets off with anger, especially with our struggling 5yo, and gets severely overwhelmed with what I can only term as “life.” An example is she gets overwhelmed thinking what she wants for dinner. I’ve been balancing working at home full time with taking care of the youngest (while she’s trying to as well—but asks for help daily) and helping our oldest before and after school with all of his appointments—which are weekly, along with all the other life planning and tasks.
Her mom passed (by suicide) when she was young, her dad is around superficially and rarely visits. Her stepmom is nuts and toxic. She has 3 sisters, one I would say has now become toxic. The other two attempt to help, but are legitimately busy with their young kids and jobs and life. We are on an island. My family is 1000 miles away. My parents and siblings (with kids) visit more than her dad has. The friends I’ve made since moving for my career have actually moved away, for various reasons.
I want to move back to my hometown to be near my family, as they will provide our family with the support we need—particularly with our boys, but my parents, particularly my mom, wants to help her too. Our boys are terrific with my parents. It would provide myself with a great sense of relief too, as I feel I have little to no support where we’re at. Not to mention the cost of living will go down significantly—that’d just be a tertiary net gain. The thought of relocating terrifies my wife, change in general does. But life has just not improved whatsoever since we’ve become parents.
Trying to discuss this topic, or any topic of any significance or seriousness, causes my wife extreme anxiety. We’re paddling upstream against rapids all the time it feels. I’m not sure how much longer I can last in this environment—or our family tbh.
I think it’s become necessary to try a big change, to build something new for us with far more support and away from the drama and toxicity my wife has here. But moving for her seems impossible and too daunting. Her social network is full of similar stuff and doesn’t see her friends much, because she complains of their lifestyles (often involving drugs and alcohol) and the fact most don’t have kids and they stir the pot A LOT with drama, which causes her additional stress.
I’m trying to navigate how this can go from here. I want to be the leader and say “we need to give this a try” because I feel if we don’t, we’re doomed. Anyone been in any semblance of this situation?
TL;DR: I want to move back near my family for more support and build a better life. My wife is terrified at the thought, and feels she cannot do it. I’m drowning and our family NEEDS support, which we will get if we move. Advice?

To the Board of Directors, Advisory Board, and Instructors at the Global Center for Religious Research:
When I first came across an advertisement for the Global Center for Religious Research’s courses, I got excited, especially because the instructors weren’t all old white guys like me. I wanted to get a broad range of experiences. I intended not only to sign up for the courses, but to see whether or not I might be able to offer courses through GCRR in the future. I pictured a future in which I would have a whole new set of colleagues who, like me, treat clients who have experienced religious trauma.
Before buying anything, I decided to join the “Religious Trauma Studies” Facebook group that GCRR is running. It took me less than an hour to become very concerned about the behavior of GCRR and its leader, Darren Slade.
While GCRR’s advertisements give the impression of professionalism and research, Slade himself is traumatizing and even harassing his/your own customers. Do you not see it? Best case scenario: he’ll keep embarrassing you. Worst case scenario: someone (especially if you ever have employees) is going to sue you. If he publicly treats his customers with this much contempt, how will he treat his employees, if he ever gets this business off the ground?
To illustrate, I am attaching several documents printed (customer names redacted) from the GCRR’s “Religious Trauma Studies” Facebook group. It’s messy, but you can go look up the Facebook group and find the originals.

• In his comments, Darren Slade keeps referring to “We”, as in “here’s how we do things around here”. He has a lot of people listed on his website as his “International Advisory Board” and as instructors of his courses. Did you all get together and advise him to be this condescending and hostile to your own customers? Do you want him to talk to women with this much contempt?
• He expresses pride several times about the fact that this group is “not a safe space”. IN A GROUP ABOUT TRAUMA??!
• Maybe you think this is fine, because everyone is offensive on the Internet? But if "the boss" at any company in America tacked any one of these memes or notes to an office bulletin board, each one would be an instant, valid complaint to the Human Resources department. And Darren Slade’s replies to the complaints would warrant another complaint. When his/your customers complain on Facebook, he rolls his eyes and tells them that he’s not responsible for their “triggers”. If he talks to his customers this way, how will he talk to his subordinates in the future? Especially young women subordinates? Do you see him expressing any respect here, for anyone, especially if they don’t agree with him?
• He refers to himself and the entire GCRR repeatedly as “inappropriate”, “unprofessional” “offensive”, and even “creepy”, and he says "we" like it that way. Do you like being represented that way? Are you part of this, or is this guy a runaway ego train?
• Some of you are trained as therapists. I'm a retired psychologist. You know that the following behaviors are cause for concern in anyone who is promoting himself as the leader of any kind of group. You'll find several examples of each of these circled in the attached document:
  • Slade sees himself as both the hero and the victim in every story he tells. He talks a lot about the death threats he has supposedly receives.
  • Regularly expresses condescension, contempt, and hostility toward his own customers, especially women. If a woman points out that he's being sexist, he claims that she is being sexist against him.
  • Constantly talks about his Ph.D. Most of my colleagues put “PhD” after their names and leave it at that… but this guy? This guy needs to mention his PhD at least a couple times a week.
  • Makes sexually demeaning/harassing comments to women if they disagree with him (see the “Google Complaint” document), tries to get the whole community to join him in this, and then gets even more condescending and contemptuous if a woman customer complains. He sees accusations of sexism against him as being unfair accusations leveled at him “because he identifies as ‘male’”
  • When people try to help him not be a jackass, he just turns up the hostility and tells them to leave if they don't like it.
  • Repeatedly fails to show empathy, especially with anyone who disagrees with him.
  • Presents a professional face to the world (GCRR ads), but behind closed doors is abusive and inflammatory.

If you’re a therapist, do you not see how much credibility you lose by associating yourself with an organization that mocks your own therapy clients for being triggered and having feelings? And Slade's approach isn't just annoying or unprofessional, it’s aggressive. Surely you can see what I’m talking about? Why are you supporting this guy?
At one point in the attached document (while accusing a woman of being sexist against him for saying he's being sexist), Slade even claims that men are constantly discriminated against just for speaking, and that "oppression and marginalization cut both ways". (About 1/3 of the way down page 3). You are all experts in religious trauma, and I first became interested in GCRR's courses because I saw some women and people of color among the instructors and advisors. Do you, as a group, actually believe that "oppression and marginalization cuts both ways"? Do you believe that racism, sexism, and homophobia oppress and marginalize straight white men just as much as people of color, women, and LGBT people? If so, I'll be warning people away from your whole organization.
Our job is to help people put an end to this kind of abuse, not to perpetuate it. Our job is to help people to recover from their traumas, not inflict more trauma, and certainly not to belittle them for speaking up.
If I had gotten involved without checking out how Slade treats his customers, I'd be embarrassed now, so I'm taking the time to give you the professional heads-up that I would want were I in your shoes.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/128aqrYsIlbCBLcWfAiYu6JdaDeZ_1Ouo/view?usp=sharing

Anyone in residency who didn’t have lots of procedural training as a med student on rotations and turned out fine??? I’m really nervous for next year in residency (current Ms3) because I feel like I don’t know how to do much other than like presenting a patient and taking history and the basic stuff. Like none of my attendings let me do actual procedural things (idk how to do a Pap smear guys)….or put in lines or start an IV. It was mostly given to the residents so we just watched. And even things like how to put in orders and stuff idk how to do that….please tell me this is normal I’m super super scared

Selective Androgen Receptor Modulators (SARMs) have gained considerable popularity among fitness enthusiasts, bodybuilders, and athletes seeking to enhance their physical performance and achieve their body composition goals. With a plethora of options available, discerning the best SARMS for individual needs requires careful consideration of their specific benefits and potential drawbacks.

1. Ostarine (MK-2866):
   • Benefits: Known for its versatility, Ostarine is often favored for its ability to promote lean muscle gain and fat loss simultaneously. It is also reputed for its potential to aid in muscle preservation during calorie deficits or periods of reduced training intensity.
   • Considerations: While generally well-tolerated, Ostarine may still cause mild suppression of natural testosterone production, especially at higher doses or with prolonged use. Adequate post-cycle therapy (PCT) is recommended to mitigate this risk.
2. Ligandrol (LGD-4033):
   • Benefits: Ligandrol is prized for its potent anabolic effects, making it an ideal choice for individuals aiming to maximize muscle growth and strength gains. It is particularly popular among bodybuilders during bulking phases.
   • Considerations: LGD-4033 has been associated with more pronounced suppression of testosterone levels compared to other SARMS. Users should exercise caution and consider implementing a robust PCT protocol to support hormonal recovery post-cycle.
3. RAD-140 (Testolone):
   • Benefits: RAD-140 is renowned for its exceptional anabolic properties, often likened to those of testosterone but with reduced androgenic effects. It is favored for promoting substantial gains in muscle mass and strength.
   • Considerations: While RAD-140 exhibits promising benefits, it may also pose a higher risk of testosterone suppression, particularly at higher doses. Close monitoring of hormonal markers and adherence to PCT guidelines are advisable.
4. Cardarine (GW-501516):
   • Benefits: Unlike traditional SARMS, Cardarine is classified as a PPARδ receptor agonist, primarily used for its potential to enhance endurance and fat loss by increasing fatty acid oxidation.
   • Considerations: While Cardarine does not exhibit significant androgenic activity, concerns have been raised regarding its potential carcinogenic effects in animal studies. Further research is needed to elucidate its long-term safety profile in humans.
5. Andarine (S4):
   • Benefits: Andarine is valued for its ability to promote fat loss while preserving lean muscle mass, making it an attractive option for individuals seeking a leaner physique.
   • Considerations: Like other SARMS, Andarine may lead to testosterone suppression, albeit to a lesser extent. Users should remain vigilant and prioritize post-cycle hormonal recovery.

Ultimately, the best SARMS for an individual will depend on their specific goals, tolerance, and risk tolerance. It is imperative to conduct thorough research, consult with healthcare professionals, and adhere to recommended dosages and cycle lengths to maximize benefits while minimizing potential risks associated with SARMS use.

This is mostly to vent but if you’ve been in a similar situation and have any wisdom, then it’s welcome. If you’d like to vent about your own situation so I don’t feel alone, that’s welcome too 🙃
Because this is Reddit I feel like I have to say: I am happy with my husband overall and am not seeking divorce. Thanks.
Anyhow,
My husband and I grew up in pretty different family dynamics. I saw my grandparents 1-2 times a year and my husband saw his once a month (sometimes weekly) during the summers. My husband and I have been married for four years and have two kids. He and I are at odds about how often to allow visitors to come. We saw my in laws six times last year, for 4 days at a time each time. They are great people and his father is always looking to help with home projects but I feel crowded and overwhelmed due to the frequency and it just feels like way too much. This may also have something to do with the sheer amount of stuff going on in our home life, which I’ll detail below (sorry it’s so long):
1) My oldest child has a feeding disorder called ARFID and with hospitalization for feeding tube placement, years of feeding therapy, and now starting physical therapy, she just keeps me very busy. We have appointments every week. I have to hand feed her every single meal even though she is 3 and have to coach her through everything from picking up the food, chewing, swallowing, etc AND we are now potty training on top of everything. She keeps me so busy that when we have visitors I have to start cleaning two weeks in advance because I cannot get it all done at once due to how busy things are. In addition, my (step) mother in law is a complete clean freak to the degree that she frequently goes through an entire thing of hand soap in only two days and I have literally painted windowsills to prepare for her visit because every time they are here I feel like my house is under a microscope. She will then start cleaning my house like crazy and while I know she’s just trying to help it makes me feel like she thinks I just didn’t do a good enough job. I am a SAHM currently because I had to quit my job to provide full time care for my eldest and there is no childcare where I live. No one else helps keep the house clean, even when I ask my husband to it’s a problem because we have different definitions of clean. So it adds A LOT to my already full plate when we have visitors and I do have a second child to care for on top of everything. It also just feels like it takes a long time to mentally recover from the visits themselves and by the time I’m “recovered,” they’re trying to come visit again.
My in laws do make an effort to help with the kids when they are here but because my step MIL never had children and my eldest is just a lot in and of herself, I typically have to take over again if I delegate because things just take too long or aren’t happening as they should. My oldest has to stay on a pretty strict schedule so that she can get enough calories in her day.
2) We live right smack in the middle of all of our relatives and for a long time have been the designated “family hotel” because we are the halfway point between everyone. This wasn’t really as big of an issue as it has become until we had our second child.
Our guest room is right next to our youngest’s bedroom. The bathroom shares a wall with her room and when anyone would use the bathroom it would wake her up and it would take about an hour to get her back down each time she woke. In addition, my father in law is likes to get up early. Like. Early, early. 3:30AM early. He then gets dressed and walks around the house. He’s always woken me because I’m a super light sleeper and our bedroom is right off of the kitchen, but it became really problematic when he also started waking our youngest doing this and suddenly my day had to start 2-3 hours earlier than it normally would because either I’m awake and can’t fall asleep again or my kid won’t go back to sleep. It was making visits pretty miserable for me. My husband saw how much it was affecting me and also wanted his bio mom to stop staying with us (she’s a terror). To put an end to this, we recently transitioned our guest room into a play room so that family can’t stay with us (we have a blow up mattress but tbh we really meant to deter family by getting rid of the bedroom). We gently told my in laws that we would be making this transition so it would not be a surprise. I thought this would deter family a little more since they’d now have to travel and spend time in an actual hotel.
However ——
My husbands family continue to visit very frequently. They are set to come again in both June and July for four days each time. My husband’s biological mother is also trying to visit. He is leaving for six months in August so I understand that this is everyone’s last chance to get a visit in before that happens. I have stipulated to my husband that I’d like a break from visitors when he returns and initial “welcome home” visits are done. I’m talking six months with no visitors because for the last few years our house has been a revolving door of everyone. The thing is, I asked for this after our second kid was born and then they visited every other month for the entire year…..so. There’s that.
Essentially I like my in laws but just feel overwhelmed generally. My life is all go, never stop and I don’t get time to myself much. Visitors make it worse because it adds so much to my plate. My husband isn’t great about setting limits with his parents but is getting better (especially in dealing with his bio mom). I’m hoping to have a break and then cut visits down to a max 4 times a year. I don’t want them to not be involved but I feel pretty smothered.

Been having some issues in my left knee for a few weeks. X-rays were clear, doctor didn’t want to order an MRI. He said I should take some anti-inflammatory medication and physical therapy.
He said I could play basketball & volleyball but recommended I wear the Bauerfiend Genutrain Brace. I went to the website and it seems there are many to choose from. I sent him a message on the portal but I believe he’s in surgeries the next few days and then on vacation. Could someone please advise me?
https://www.bauerfeind.com/b2c/Products/Knee-Braces/c/knee-braces
Which of these 2 seem to be a better brace?
GenuTrain P3 - Patella Knee Brace
GenuTrain S - Hinged Knee Brace
Is the hinged brace only for those recovering from surgery or can it be worn by people with somewhat chronic knee issues on a regular basis I.e. while playing basketball, volleyball, etc.
Thanks for your help.

Been having some issues in my left knee for a few weeks. X-rays were clear, doctor didn’t want to order an MRI. He said I should take some anti-inflammatory medication and physical therapy.
He said I could play basketball but recommended I wear the Bauerfiend Genutrain Brace. I went to the website and it seems there are many to choose from. I sent him a message on the portal but I believe he’s in surgeries the next few days and then on vacation. Could someone please advise me?
https://www.bauerfeind.com/b2c/Products/Knee-Braces/c/knee-braces
Which of these 2 seem to be a better brace?
GenuTrain P3 - Patella Knee Brace
GenuTrain S - Hinged Knee Brace
Is the hinged brace only for those recovering from surgery or can it be worn by people with somewhat chronic knee issues on a regular basis I.e. while playing basketball?
Thanks for your help.

He's 3. He switched daycares recently because the one he was at was a shit show and he was being bullied. Yes, at 3 years old. He loves his new school but hasn't made significant friendships yet, though everyone knows his name.
Since a little bit before the switch, his behavior has gotten increasingly awful. He's great at school, only defiant and angry at home. He's still not potty trained.
We started a behavior chart on Sunday, but I don't know if it's going to have any effect. My husband and I literally dread spending time with him because he's so angry and mean to us all the time. And while I'll admit I've yelled a couple times, we are for the most part patient and gentle with him, even when he bites or hits us.
It's the worst at bedtime, which can take 1-3 hours depending on how badly he procrastinates. Bedtime always ends in all of us crying at some point.
I've started looking into therapy. For my fucking 3 year old. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what happened to my happy, sweet boy. I don't know what we've done wrong.

Hey there, I’m giving this a shot. I am originally from California and moved to Idaho for work a few years ago.
I am ashamed to admit it but I haven’t done a good amount of exploring in Idaho and I want to change that! I have a lot of hobbies I like to get lost in painting, cooking/ smoking meats ,knife making/ metal working, shooting, writing, working out / training,gaming( Xbox), making mead, scuba diving. Iv been lucky to have a lot of fun experiences and would love to learn and make more! I’m not a judgmental person and like to talk and get to know anyone from their late 20s to mid 40s. I m just on here looking for friends, people to talk to. I lost my best friend a year ago and kind of shut myself down from meeting new people. Time for a change!( even if it’s internet friends).
If you read this far thank you for at least taking the time! If you did and are gonna message me send me your favorite food.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years and in December I caught him watching porn. He was aware of my boundary of not watching it and it was something I talked about often.
I do have issues with being incredibly controlling and unhealthly toxic. I am in therapy and I am working through things and making progress now. I started therapy because he told me that he did not want to be in the relationship anymore if I wasn’t atleast trying to get better. Since I knew that I didnt want to be like this forever (i’m unhappy with myself and what I make him do), I agreed to go to therapy to figure it out. I was like a couple months into therapy with an appointment every other week when I found it in December and supposedly he did it in November.
When I confronted him about it, he (obviously) spoke his case and explained why. While many people (especially in this group) do not believe his reasoning, for us and our relationship it does make sense. Him and I have both talked about how we don’t find other people attractive, good looking, etc while in a relationship. I have read many threads about other people discussing the same thing, so I know it’s possible plus I experience it. As my (unhealthy) boundaries got worse and worse we were fighting all the time terribly and just not enjoying each other anymore. He explained that the reason he watched porn is because he was unsure about moving forward in our relationship and wanted to see if he found other people attractive because he believed that if he did start finding people attractive in our relationship after over a year of not, then clearly feelings and things have changed. He explained he only watched it twice, didn’t get turned on or hard, didn’t get off to it, didn’t like anything etc. He said it was the only “fool proof” way to test if he’d like something physical about another girl because it doesn’t get more clear than that. After this test is when he said he realized that he still wanted to fight for us because it made him realize his feelings for me hadn’t changed. Honestly, in between that time until i found it, his attitude toward me and our relationship improved.
So, a lot of people that I talked to did say, from a man’s perspective that it does make sense and With all that he was feeling it makes sense. I don’t think it’s an excuse for his actions, but I feel like I can understand where he was coming from. Obviously him and i both know there were better ways to approach it and go about it, but sometimes people don’t think before doing things and honest mistakes do happen.
After hearing his explanation and having somewhat of a back story on our relationship, how do you guys feel about his “reasonings?”
With that, he has done everything to try to make me feel comfortable, taken accountability for his actions, and deals with the consequences of his own actions with a good behavior 90% of the time. I know a lot of addicts often “do everything “ for their partner to continue gaslighting them but I just don’t know if that’s this case. Part of me believes him the other part is skeptical….i don’t know how to feel. We are also young (19 and he just turned 20 when this happened) so I appreciate insight from wiser, experienced people.
I still catch myself thinking about it randomly even when Iv thought iv moved past it. Thankfully he always makes room to have more and more conversations with me about it. I’m just not sure if this is something (especially with his reasonings) that I can move past from and trust him again. I don’t want to live everyday in fear that I will find something again and I don’t want to think about it at all or atleast not let it destroy me when I do think about it.
Please help.

My husband and I had a baby 10 months ago. I don't feel like he ever fully stepped up. He has a demanding hobby that he never put on hold, often devoting entire weekends to it. I still do most of the chores, baby care, and I work. I breastfeed. In the beginning, I was incredibly resentful of my husband because I would be up all night with the baby and he would sleep. It's not like ive just sat around and let this happen. We've been at each other's throats since baby was born. Unless I'm CONSTANTLY nagging him, he will not help me. He will help, but only if I guide him in exactly how to do things. He doesn't ever volunteer his help. Early on, he agreed to help me in the night with breastfeeding, but he was so fucking hard to wake up and i was getting so frustrated that i just gave up. We sleep trained around 6 months, and by we, I mean me because dude did 0 research and didn't help at all. This is something I'm incredibly resentful of. Every transition in baby's life has been led by me. He has done 0 research into anything, barely helps during the transition, and then has the audacity to tell people "yeah WE introduced solids, WE sleep trained, WE introduced a bottle, etc etc etc."
Baby still occasionally wakes up in the night now, and of course I'm the one to answer those wake ups because he'll sleep right through. Im just tired of it. We started therapy a few months ago and I'm so sick of hearing "this is temporary" from everyone, therapist included. He'd not held to the same standard as I am. This will pass?? But in the meantime I have to do everything and be accused of being a nag just to get a single minute of assistance?? LMAO what happens after things eventually even out?? HIS life gets easier and I'm left with a year of exhaustion and bad feelings/memories. I'm over it. I never want to have another baby with him. In fact, I think I hate him. There's still SO many more difficult toddler transitions coming up and it makes me want to throw up stressing about how it's all up to me IN ADDITION to picking up after this grown child in my house. I've talked to my parents, and while they're not thrilled that I'm considering a divorce, they are willing to let me move in. I would actually get a break if i did. My mom is a HUGE help with my baby and actually helps me without prompting...I don't know.
Am I wrong? I genuinely don't think I'll ever get past the resentment I feel for my husband after this first year. He's been pestering me to sleep with him which makes my stomach turn because I genuinely view him as another child in my life. It's not like this is a secret either. I've said it a million times both in and out of therapy. His behavior still hasn't changed. It's like he's holding onto that advice that we just have to "get through the first year."

I have a lot of anxiety about a very specific phobia/thing and just read the best book I've seen on it using CBT exercises. I want to build a chatbot/GPT that would be trained using the exercises and content of that book that I could use when I'm triggered, as I think it would be more helpful to be guided through the exercises rather than trying to self-reflect and find the right exercises from the book when I'm in a peak spiral.
Obviously this wouldn't be used by other people/isn't a substitute for therapy, and I don't have depression so I'm not at any risk or anything like that. But, I think having a chat bot to calmly walk me through something when my anxiety is hitting a spiral and that would be able to respond to my responses would be wonderful.
I have zero AI, coding, or programming experience other than using ChatGPT to brainstrom stuff.
Is there a website or app out there that would let me do this in a free (or very low-cost) way? I have a PDF copy of the e-book that would be the training material. I don't mind paying if it works, but because I don't know what I'm doing I don't want to waste money.
Any suggestions for a total noob wanting to build their first chatbot?

DAY: MAY 20 2024
5-20-2024

Why nightmares and ‘daymares’ could be early warning signs of autoimmune disease

An increase in nightmares and hallucinations—or ‘daymares’—could herald the onset of autoimmune diseases such as lupus, say an international team led by researchers at the University of Cambridge and King’s College London. The researchers argue that there must be greater recognition that these types of mental health and neurological symptoms can act as an early warning sign that an individual is approaching a “flare,” where their disease worsens for a period.
5-20-2024 Yoga and meditation-induced altered states of consciousness are common in the general population, study says
Yoga, mindfulness, meditation, breathwork, and other practices are gaining in popularity due to their potential to improve health and well-being. The effects of these practices are mostly positive and occasionally transformational, yet they are known to sometimes be associated with challenging altered states of consciousness. New research by a team including investigators from Massachusetts General Hospital reveals that altered states of consciousness associated with meditation practice are far more common than expected. Although many people reported positive outcomes, that were sometimes even considered transformational, from these experiences, for a substantial
5-20-2024 Examining the benefits of out-of-network care for pediatric moyamoya
Total in-episode expenses and resource use before the index surgery (preop) and including/after the surgery (postop). The comparisons are separated for analysis into (A) single institution cohorts (1 and 2) and (B) multi?institution cohorts (3 and 4). Moyamoya disease is a rare condition that affects the blood vessels in the brain, especially in children. Narrowing and blockage of vessels significantly increases the risk of stroke and requires surgical revascularization for treatment. Although research shows that outcomes of revascularization are better
5-20-2024 Study explores links between social media use, mental health and sleep quality
The more time you spend on social media, the greater the likelihood of having unpleasant social-media related dreams that cause distress, sleep disruption and impact our peace of mind. Flinders University’s Reza Shabahang says that the vast and rapid adoption of social media has the potential to influence various aspects of life, including the realm of dreaming. “As social media becomes increasingly intertwined with our lives, its impact extends beyond waking hours, and may influence our dreams,”
5-20-2024 How are asthma and heart health linked?
Although the heart and lungs are neighbors in your chest, people may think of them as separate entities with unrelated problems. But a growing body of evidence suggests that asthma—one of the most common lung disorders—is a risk factor for cardiovascular disease. Asthma is a serious chronic disease in which airways are inflamed, often in response to specific triggers. It affects about 25 million people in the U.S., including nearly 5 million children, causing millions of annual visits to doctors’ offices and emergency rooms. “We call these major changes
5-20-2024 STUDY EXPLORES PATIENT TRUST IN PHYSICIANS
Trust in one’s physician drives positive health practices. In a scoping review, SUNY Poly Professor of Sociology Dr. Linda R. Weber discovered new developments in the measurement of trust, identified those measures of trust that have known reliability and validity, and compared those instruments’ conceptualizations, dimensions, and indicators. The paper is published in the journal PLOS ONE. Weber explains that 10 dimensions emerged from the study: fidelity, technical competence, communicative competence, interpersonal competence (i.e., caring), honesty, confidentiality, global, behavioral, fairness, and system trust/accountability. In addition, these findings provide the foundation
5-20-2024 TIMESAVING TIPS FOR COOKING HEALTHY MEALS
Living a busy, fast-paced life can make it hard to find the motivation to cook a healthy meal at home. However, learning some shortcuts in the kitchen can keep your healthy eating goals on track and help you avoid grazing on unhealthy snacks, grabbing the first thing you see in the fridge or going out for fast food. Why cook at home? Research shows that maintaining a healthy weight is challenging when you eat out too frequently. Restaurant portions often are super-sized
5-20-2024 UNDERSTANDING PERIMENOPAUSE VS. MENOPAUSE
Menopause marks a significant transition for women, yet understanding its precursor, perimenopause, and its symptoms can be complex. Dr. Stephanie Faubion, director of Mayo Clinic’s Center for Women’s Health and medical director of The Menopause Society, says experiencing perimenopause and menopause can be confusing for some. She says it is not only patients who may find it confusing, but medical providers as well, due to lack of training in menopause management. “Menopause is defined by no menstrual cycle for a year,” says Dr. Faubion.
5-20-2024 LOW-DOSE IRON SUPPLEMENTATION HAS NO BENEFIT FOR BREASTFED INFANTS, SHOWS STUDY
The American Pediatric Association recommends iron supplements to all healthy infants who breastfeed longer than four months, while its European counterpart, Society of Gastroenterology, Hepataology and Nutrition, does not recommend it. These deviating guidelines stimulated researchers to design a new study. Breastfeeding is strongly recommended, and the proportion of children are breastfed during the first half of life is high. The researchers wanted to determine whether breastfeeding babies could benefit from extra iron.
5-20-2024 ALLERGY MEDICATIONS COME WITH HAZARDS: BE AWARE
People with seasonal allergies often turn to over-the-counter and prescription medicines to relieve symptoms like coughing, sneezing, runny nose, congestion and itchy eyes, nose or throat. But they often aren’t aware that these meds—including antihistamines—have as much risk for potential side effects, drug interactions and overdose as other drugs. “All medicines have side effects associated with them even when they are taken appropriately and according to dosing directions on the label,”
5-20-2024 I CAN’T AFFORD OLIVE OIL—WHAT ELSE CAN I USE?
If you buy your olive oil in bulk, you’ve likely been in for a shock in recent weeks. Major supermarkets have been selling olive oil for up to A$65 for a four-liter tin, and up to $26 for a 750 milliliter bottle. We’ve been hearing about the health benefits of olive oil for years. And many of us are adding it to salads, or baking and frying with it. But during a cost-of-living crisis, these high prices can put olive oil out of reach. Let’s take a look at why
5-20-2024 Researchers uncover biological trigger of early puberty
Heather Brenhouse, associate professor of psychology, says disrupting the caretaker relationship can really traumatize a child or a developing rodent. Credit: Ruby Wallau/Northeastern University New research conducted by the Brenhouse Lab reveals how early life adversity triggers early puberty and late-life anxiety, paving the way for potential interventions. The onset of puberty has been creeping downward for decades. In the United States, the average age of girls reaching puberty ranges from 8.8 to 10.3 years old. The early start of puberty, which is associated with many health risks, can be
5-20-2024 Bioluminescence and 3D-printed implants shed light on brain–spinal interactions
Brain-spinal cord duet’s neurodynamic symphony is now accessible to scientists via novel multi-organ implants. Credit: Dmitrijs Celinskis A sensory process such as pain is no ordinary phenomenon—it’s a symphony of neural and vascular interactions orchestrated by the brain and spinal cord. Attempting to dissect this symphony by focusing on a single region is like trying to understand a complex melody by listening to just one instrument. It’s incomplete, potentially misleading, and may result in erroneous conclusions. Enter the Carney Institute’s team of visionaries. Their mission? To develop tools that allow
5-20-2024 New thesis explores cancer treatment that can prevent relapse
. What is the main focus of your thesis? Relapse following initial treatment efficacy remains a major clinical challenge for many cancers. The focus of my thesis has been to explore the therapeutic impact of immune cells in patients with blood cancer (leukemia), by first investigating which cells
5-20-2024 New study reveals health and social benefits of car-free living
Participating in a three-week car-free challenge has enhanced the health and well-being of Oxford residents, according to research conducted by The University of Bath’s Centre for Climate Change and Social Transformations (CAST), in partnership with climate charity Possible and Low Carbon Oxford North (LCON), conducted this research project. After ditching their cars for three weeks, 10 out of the 12 drivers across Oxford who participated said they plan to continue with reduced car use beyond the project. The findings of this research project show that: Day-to-day transport emissions were slashed
5-20-2024 Research shows linked biological pathways driving skin inflammation
A certain biological pathway—a set of linked reactions in the body—drives the inflammation seen in the skin disease psoriasis, a new study finds. The work could lead to improved therapies for all inflammatory skin diseases, including atopic and allergic dermatitis and a type of boil called hidradenitis suppurativa, say the study authors. The findings are published in the journal Immunity. Inflammation is the body’s natural response to irritation and infection, but when out of control, it can lead to the reddish, flaky, itchy lesions that
5-20-2024 Prescription co-payments linked to more hospital admissions in New Zealand, study finds
A new study from researchers cautions that bringing back the $5 co-payment for prescription medicines could see a jump in hospital admissions. The study analyzed health data for 71,502 people and found those who didn’t pick up a prescription because they couldn’t afford the $5 fee had a 34% higher rate of being admitted to hospital.
5-20-2024 How a simulation is informing COVID-19 vaccine policy after our ‘return to normal’
As the saying goes “There is no such thing as normal” and this has been especially true after the pandemic. Before the emergence of the omicron COVID-19 variant, countries like the U.K. had high vaccination coverage along with widespread exposure to COVID-19 in the population. This combination of vaccine and infection-derived immunity is termed hybrid immunity and is different to vaccine immunity or infection immunity alone. In contrast, other countries, including Australia, New Zealand and those in the Western Pacific, had a very different pandemic experience.
5-20-2024 Researchers find intriguing connections between Alzheimer’s disease and other common conditions
A study has found that while some medical conditions appear to increase our likelihood of developing Alzheimer’s disease, others appear to decrease the odds. The study, led by Dr. Yijun (Nicholas) Pan and Dr. Liang Jin, analyzed data from 2,443 older Australians living in Melbourne or Perth who are part of the Australian Imaging, Biomarker and Lifestyle (AIBL) study, an internationally recognized cohort for dementia research. “We found anxiety and other neurological disorders are associated with increased likelihood of Alzheimer’s disease,” Dr. Pan said.
5-20-2024 Prepping autistic or sound-sensitive kids for cicada noise
As Chicagoans await the emergence of the cicadas, parents of children on the autism spectrum and/or who have sensitivities to sound can take a few steps to prepare for what is expected to be a loud summer. “Some children on the spectrum can struggle with loud or unexpected noises, such as toilets that automatically flush, fireworks around the Fourth of July or the emergence of a large number of cicadas,”
5-20-2024 Study highlights importance of screening for rare inherited iron metabolism defects
Over 40% of cases curated based on stringent clinical and laboratory criteria from the Indian subcontinent have an inherited iron metabolism defect on comprehensive genomic evaluation, report investigators in The Journal of Molecular Diagnostics. Although iron deficiency anemia is the most prevalent form of anemia globally,
5-20-2024 Study finds tyrosine kinase Csk promotes germinal center B cell survival and affinity maturation
The authors found that Csk (a tyrosine kinase that attenuates B cell receptor signaling) is required for germinal center maintenance and efficient antibody maturation. The immune system strikes a fine balance by identifying and neutralizing disease-causing agents while carefully avoiding destruction of healthy tissues and cells. Now, researchers from Japan have shed new light on one of the processes that helps train immune cells to act only against genuine threats.
5-20-2024 Significant gaps between science of obesity and the care patients receive, say experts
As research continues to produce evidence about the underlying causes of obesity and optimal strategies to treat and manage obesity have evolved, there are disparities in application of the latest scientific advances in the clinical care that people with obesity receive. Widespread adoption of current findings, consistency of care and expertise in obesity care varies by health care professional and institution.
5-20-2024 Improving online depression treatment
Symptom course of depression for individuals who dropped out of treatment and those who completed treatment. In the dropout group, there is an initial decrease in symptoms while the patients were still in treatment, which tapers off as they drop out. For completers, there is close to a linear change over time. This suggests there is a relation between the more that an individual continues to participate in ICBT and their depressive symptom improvement.
5-20-2024 Women face worse chronic kidney disease management in primary care
Women receive worse primary care-based chronic kidney disease (CKD) management than men, according to a research letter adult patients with CKD receiving primary care at 15 practices using electronic health record data to examine sex disparities in guideline-based CKD management
5-20-2024 Bisoprolol does not reduce exacerbations in at-risk COPD patients
For patients with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), bisoprolol does not reduce the number of self-reported exacerbations treated with oral corticosteroids, antibiotics, or both, according to a study
5-20-2024 Anticancer potential of CLK kinase inhibitors 1C8 and GPS167 via EMT and antiviral immune response
The diheteroarylamide-based compound 1C8 and the aminothiazole carboxamide-related compound GPS167 inhibit the CLK kinases, and affect the proliferation of a broad range of cancer cell lines. A chemogenomic screen previously performed with GPS167 revealed that the depletion of components associated with mitotic spindle assembly altered
5-20-2024 Study sheds light on bacteria associated with pre-term birth
Researchers from North Carolina State University have found that multiple species of Gardnerella, bacteria sometimes associated with bacterial vaginosis (BV) and pre-term birth, can coexist in the same vaginal microbiome. The findings, published in mSystems, add to the emerging picture of Gardnerella’s effects on human health. Gardnerella is a group of anaerobic bacteria that are commonly found in the vaginal microbiome. Higher levels of the bacteria are a signature of BV and associated with higher risk of pre-term birth, but it is also found in women who have no sign
5-20-2024 New AI model uses federated learning for multi-organ segmentation based on medical image data
Researchers have successfully developed the technology that can accurately segment different body organs by effectively learning medical image data used for different purposes in different hospitals, which is expected to greatly contribute to the development of large-scale medical AI models in the future.
5-20-2024 Second Phase 3 clinical trial again shows dupilumab lessens disease in COPD patients with type 2 inflammation
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease patients with type 2 inflammation may soon gain access to a new drug—dupilumab—that showed rapid and sustained improvements in patients in a pivotal Phase 3 clinical trial, researchers report in the New England Journal of Medicine. This monoclonal antibody is the first biologic shown to improve clinical outcomes in COPD. The data supporting the use of dupilumab in COPD will be reviewed by the United States Food and Drug Administration in June. The disease improvements—as measured by a significantly lower annualized rate of acute exacerbations
5-20-2024 New AI model uses federated learning for multi-organ segmentation based on medical image data
Researchers have successfully developed the technology that can accurately segment different body organs by effectively learning medical image data used for different purposes in different hospitals, which is expected to greatly contribute to the development of large-scale medical AI models in the future.
5-20-2024 Second Phase 3 clinical trial again shows dupilumab lessens disease in COPD patients with type 2 inflammation
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease patients with type 2 inflammation may soon gain access to a new drug—dupilumab—that showed rapid and sustained improvements in patients in a pivotal Phase 3 clinical trial, researchers report in the New England Journal of Medicine. This monoclonal antibody is the first biologic shown to improve clinical outcomes in COPD. The data supporting the use of dupilumab in COPD will be reviewed by the United States Food and Drug Administration in June. The disease improvements—as measured by a significantly lower annualized rate of acute exacerbations

• 5-20-2024GALLBLADDER CANCER RISES AMONG BLACK AMERICANS AS CASES DECLINE IN OTHER GROUPS
• 5-20-2024US PEDIATRICIANS REVERSE DECADES-OLD ADVICE AGAINST HIV-POSITIVE MOTHERS BREASTFEEDING
• 5-20-2024UK REPORT FINDS COVER-UP OF DECADES-LONG INFECTED BLOOD SCANDAL
• 5-20-2024ASTRAZENECA TO BUILD $1.5 BLN CANCER DRUG FACILITY IN SINGAPORE
• 5-20-2024CHEMO FOR GLIOBLASTOMA ENHANCED BY TAPPING INTO CELL’S DAILY RHYTHMS
• 5-20-2024RESEARCH SHOWS THAT FERROPTOSIS, A FORM OF CELL DEATH, OCCURS IN SEVERE COVID-19 PATIENT LUNGS
• 5-20-2024BODY’S ‘MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE’ DELIVERS TARGETED CANCER TREATMENT
• 5-20-2024EARLY BLOOD GLUCOSE CONTROL FOR THOSE WITH TYPE 2 DIABETES CRUCIAL FOR REDUCING COMPLICATIONS, PROLONGING LIFE
• 5-20-2024GRID CELL RESPONSES TO THE ILLUSION OF SELF-LOCATION
• 5-20-2024RESEARCHERS DISCOVER TOP-DOWN SIGNALS IN BRAIN CIRCUITS REGULATING DEPRESSION
• 5-20-2024BENIGN NAIL CONDITION LINKED TO RARE SYNDROME THAT GREATLY INCREASES CANCER RISK
• 5-20-2024RESEARCHERS REVEAL PROMISING TREATMENT TARGET FOR RESISTANT BRAIN CANCER
• 5-20-2024NEW MECHANISMS UNDERLYING TUMOR VARIETY IN BRAIN CANCERS DISCOVERED
• 5-20-2024STUDY EXPLORES PATIENT TRUST IN PHYSICIANS
• 5-20-2024MOTIVATED BY LACK OF DIVERSITY IN NEUROLOGICAL STUDIES, SCIENTISTS LOOK TO ENSURE EQUITY IN BRAIN RESEARCH
• 5-20-2024FLUORIDE EXPOSURE DURING PREGNANCY LINKED TO INCREASED RISK OF CHILDHOOD NEUROBEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS, STUDY FINDS
• 5-20-2024STUDY SUGGESTS BOTH STEP AND TIME-BASED EXERCISE TARGETS ARE EQUALLY BENEFICIAL
• 5-20-2024MEDICAID ‘UNWINDING’ DECRIED AS BIASED AGAINST DISABLED PEOPLE
• 5-20-2024TIMESAVING TIPS FOR COOKING HEALTHY MEALS
• 5-20-2024UNDERSTANDING PERIMENOPAUSE VS. MENOPAUSE
• 5-20-2024LOW-DOSE IRON SUPPLEMENTATION HAS NO BENEFIT FOR BREASTFED INFANTS, SHOWS STUDY
• 5-20-2024IS IT BIRD FLU JUST AN ANIMAL THING, OR CAN PEOPLE CATCH IT?
• 5-20-2024SCIENTISTS USE NEW APPROACH TO DISABLE BRAIN CANCER CELLS’ ABILITY TO SURVIVE
• 5-20-2024RESEARCHER FINDS MOTHERS LIVE LONGER AS CHILD MORTALITY DECLINES
• 5-20-2024U-SHAPED LINK DETECTED BETWEEN ADOLESCENT BMI AND MENTAL HEALTH
• 5-20-2024AI CHATBOTS SHOW HIGHER EMPATHY, READABILITY IN RESPONDING TO CANCER QUESTIONS, STUDY FINDS
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• 5-20-2024GENETICALLY ENGINEERED PIG HEARTS TRANSPLANTED IN TWO BRAIN-DEAD PATIENTS REVEAL MORE ABOUT IMMUNE RESPONSE
• 5-20-2024I CAN’T AFFORD OLIVE OIL—WHAT ELSE CAN I USE?
• 5-20-2024HOW NEWBORN CHICKS ARE HELPING TO SETTLE A CENTURIES-OLD DEBATE ABOUT COGNITION AND OUR SENSES
• 5-20-2024STOMACH PARALYSIS RISK MAY RISE IN PEOPLE TAKING OZEMPIC AND SIMILAR DRUGS
• 5-20-2024WHY AUTISTIC PEOPLE MUST BE AT THE HEART OF AUTISM RESEARCH
• 5-20-2024OUR BODIES DON’T JUST MAKE GALL AND KIDNEY STONES—FROM SALIVA TO TONSILS, THESE ARE OTHER ONES TO LOOK OUT FOR
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• 5-20-2024DOING DAILY CHORES AROUND THE HOUSE IS BEST ACTIVITY FOR INDIVIDUALS RECOVERING FROM COVID-19, SAY SCIENTISTS
• 5-20-2024NEW AI ALGORITHM MAY IMPROVE AUTOIMMUNE DISEASE PREDICTION AND THERAPIES
• 5-20-2024ALCOHOL USE DISORDER CAN BE TREATED WITH AN ARRAY OF MEDICATIONS—BUT FEW PEOPLE HAVE HEARD OF THEM
• 5-20-2024VITAMIN D DEFICIENCY TIED TO WORSE OUTCOMES WITH EARLY KIDNEY DISEASE
• 5-20-2024NEGATIVE LINK SEEN FOR OXIDATIVE BALANCE SCORE WITH CHRONIC KIDNEY DISEASE
• 5-20-2024ANDEXANET YIELDS BETTER CONTROL OF HEMATOMA EXPANSION THAN USUAL CARE, FINDS STUDY
• 5-20-2024STUDY FINDS FAT CELLS INFLUENCE HEART HEALTH IN CHAGAS DISEASE
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• 5-20-2024NEW TOOL FLAGS HIDDEN SEXUAL STRUGGLES IN FEMALE PARTNERS OF PATIENTS WITH PROSTATE CANCER

For a week my daughter has been nauseous. She is almost 3.5. She woke up a week ago today and threw up some bile. Every day since then (minus maybe one or 2 days) she has woken up ask for a bucket and saying she thinks she’s going to puke. One day she dry heaved but the rest of the days nothing. Usually I will give her some food and she’s fine.
I took her to the pediatrician and he did a full exam. Everything was normal. He said the most likely cause is a stomach bug. But we haven’t been around anyone sick and no one has caught it from her. He did say her belly felt a little full which leads to the next point.
She has had problems with constipation for quite some time. At least since we started potty training. I have been giving her magnesium citrate for about 2 weeks. She has a lot of symptoms of low magnesium and it has been making her stool softer. The stomach symptoms started a week after starting it. So he said the magnesium is the second most likely cause.
I’m just anxious and Google is scaring me. He said if this goes on for another week to go in for further evaluation to see if it’s something more serious. Of course when I hear that my Google fears feels confirmed and I’m terrified of a brain tumor or something (if you can’t tell I have horrible anxiety especially around health. I am medicated and in therapy. Working on it.)
Has anyone else had a kid similar in age with frequent morning nausea? Did it resolve? My rational thoughts were allergies or reflux but the doctor didn’t say anything when I brought those up.

This’ll be a rather mundane vent on a non-dramatic breakup. I’m posting this as a method of self reflection to help cope.
I (40sM) dated her (40sF) for about six months exclusively, and I suppose this is around the time most relationships either progress or fizzle. Truth be told, I haven’t been thrilled with the relationship for the last few months, so this is likely a blessing in disguise. Still, it hurts.
We met on Bumble, she reached out first, and we had a six hour date the next day. We had a lot of differences - I have no kids (she’s a single mom of 2), I’m into fitness/martial arts (she walks and gardens), I’m a nerd/gamereadetech geek (she’s not any of those things). But we were both introverts, and we laughed a lot together. Since that first date, we were exclusive and spent a lot of time together. I loved her wit, she loved animals, and things seemed really fun at first.
The struggles began early. Even though I appear rather “masculine” (muscly, tattooed, ex Marine)…I’m actually quite sensitive. If you’re into MBTI, I’m an INFJ - A. She is quite clear in telling people that she’s insensitive, doesn’t have time for feelings, and can’t process her own. This should’ve been the first red flag where I cut and run. But I didn’t. I figured we’d talk through any issues that came up. I’ve been through therapy, have read self improvement/relationship counseling books, and I’ve done a lot of self work. She was very clear about the importance of stating issues and concerns clearly, and I like that.
Our relationship followed that standard, typical template of mismatched temperaments - things were great until a conflict. She’d do something insensitive, I’d get hurt, I’d try to talk it out, and she’d get explosively, angrily defensive - and completely unaware (or uncaring) of how that’d impact me. Sometimes it’d happen right away, other times we’d appear to have a calm discussion…only for me to get lashed out at the next day after she’d had time to think. She was blindly focused on being “right”, instead of understanding or compromise. Another red flag.
I wasn’t blameless - I can be overly sensitive, as she liked to tell me, and I enjoy semi frequent communication in between visits. We’d see each other on the weekends, and I wanted to stay connected during the week with texts. She felt put off by that, and would go a day or so without responding. When I brought it up, she’d get angry and say “I just don’t miss you that much during the week - I’m independent and I don’t need consistent communication”. Again, another clear sign of incompatibility. I need to pay attention to these things.
She felt smothered, I felt disconnected. So I pulled back, texted less, and kept my feelings to myself. I supported her through some big changes, and kept quiet about my own wants. Things went GREAT when I did that, as you can imagine. I tried to just focus on enjoying our time together, while pulling myself back when apart. I thought it might be good for me.
I should mention the dynamic of our relationship at this point. It was sorta…one-sided. She left the “honeymoon period” quicker than I did, and I became the driver for things. I also paid for most dates, cooked meals for her, drove her around (because she drove her kids all week)…she enjoyed me “taking care of her”. She introduced me to her friends (at her request), I’d help her with gardening and home projects, and I even helped her with work problems. Our conversations were primarily her venting and complaining. We live apart, and we spent weekends at her place because it’s bigger, has her dog, and it’s more private. My place is smaller, I have cats, and a roommate. I didn’t mind this arrangement - I enjoyed her company, she was affectionate, and we laughed a lot.
She never showed much of an interest in my things, to the point of “yeah, I hate gaming/am not a readethat’s kid stuff”. We did binge GoT, which I appreciated. She never expressed interest in my friends, who are also nerdy gamer friends. She’d offer to meet them if I wanted, but I never pushed it because she didn’t seem enthusiastic. I figured if she wanted to meet my friends, or stay at my place, she’d ask. Because she was always clear about “just say what you want”.
I’m sad, so I’m painting a one-sided picture here. I should note the fun times we had. We went to Vegas for a weekend, did E, and had a great time. I took her house sitting to my family’s beautiful coastal home, and we visited some of my childhood haunts and botanical gardens (she’s a plant fanatic). We took the train to a beach town, and spent a long weekend smoking pot and eating. We hiked, we took a lot of walks, we’d get stoned and watch laser shows. We’d wear pajamas, smoke pot, and binge tv while cooking stupid food.
She also has a lot of lovely characteristics. She’s hilarious and witty, she’s really intelligent about her hobbies/work, she’s very devoted to her friends and family, and she’s beautiful. She’d be considerate in small ways - picking up things at the store, etc. She also had a really busy life - two teens, a full time job, and a tight social/family circle. I never distrusted her, never worried about cheating or any of that stuff. She wasn’t physically affectionate, but would try to be because it’s important to me. She’d compliment me and say nice things.
She wasn’t a bad partner, and neither was I. But months of me keeping quiet about my feelings, recognizing her waning enthusiasm, and feeling dissatisfied in the relationship came to a head this weekend. I had some weird, confusing feelings about feeling taken advantage of, or at least putting in more effort than her - I wanted to process it more, but she wanted to talk. We had, what I thought, was a calm and open discussion. I never said that I don’t appreciate her, and I thought I reassured her. It seemed fine, I left, texting was fine.
Next morning she called me and dumped me. She pointed out all the things she done “for me”, like introducing me to her friends (I never asked for that, and I was generally excluded/ignored at gatherings), including me in her gardening (I don’t care about gardening, I took an interest to connect with her), spending weekends together (I also spent MY weekends with her, at her place, because she was more comfortable there). She got quite mad at the idea of me paying for things and driving, stating “I’ve never paid for any of my meals on a date”. She claimed I never let her into my life, introduced her to my friends, etc. She felt unappreciated, and like I was going to keep score.
I was shocked at her anger. It seemed to come out of nowhere, and if all these things were on her mind…why didn’t she communicate them? Had she asked, i would’ve scheduled a friend meet that week! I would’ve told her not to bother introducing me to her friends if she viewed it as a “favor” to me. Hell, any grievance she communicated in the past was dealt with immediately and decisively by me…so she knows I don’t fuck around.
She said she was done, I didn’t want to end things in an ugly manner so I told her I loved her, she’s a beautiful person, and I hope she finds what she wants. I sent a final text apologizing for any hurt, and other kind things. She sent a LONG, dumping text basically shitting on me. I sent another kind “I’m sorry for any hurt I caused, you’re a wonderful person, I wish you well”. Then I blocked her.
It’s like a gut punch. I know I could’ve handled things better, and she definitely could’ve. It’s clear that she wanted a low maintenance partner, and I wanted a reciprocal equal partner. She needs to do some work on her temper and conflict issues, and I need to be more discerning and aware of red flags early.
Thank you for reading, it helps to write this all down.

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/cg1p8marcoxnt93s_igs_rep_page/
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Alter Army"
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Arena Renovation
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
Arma X
Arx Fatalis
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Ascension to the Throne
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Atari Vault
Attack of the Earthlings
Attractio
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Axiom Verge
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Borderlands handsome collection
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Centipede: Recharged
Chambers of Devious Design
Chess Ultra
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Children of Morta
CHAOS CODE -NEW SIGN OF CATASTROPHE-
Chaos on Deponia
Chariot
Circuit Breakers
City Siege: Faction Island
Close to the Sun
Clunky Hero
Colt Canyon
Constructor Classic 1997
Convoy
Conglomerate 451
Cookie Cutter
Cook Serve Delicious
Cook Serve Delicious! 3?!
Corridor Z
Cosmic Express
Craft Keep VR
Crazy Belts
Creeping Terror
Creepy Tale
Crewsaders
Crown Champion: Legends of the Arena
Crumble
CryoFall
CTU: Counter Terrorism Unit
Cubicle Quest
Cursed Sight
Cybarian: The Time Travelling Warrior
Darkest Dungeon
DARK FUTURE: BLOOD RED STATES
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Darkness Within 2: The Dark Lineage
Danger Scavenger
Day of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead Age 2
Dead by daylight
Dead End Job
Deadlight: Director's Cut
Dead Island Definitive Edition
Dead Space 3 Origin key
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
DESERT CHILD
DEATHRUN TV
Death Squared
Death to Spies: Moment of Truth
Degrees of Separation
Demon Pit
DESOLATE
Detached: Non-VR Edition
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Devil Daggers
Devil's Hunt
Devil May Cry 4 Special Edition
DIG - Deep In Galaxies
Dimension Drifter
Dirt Rally 2.0 - Only for good offers
DIRT SHOWDOWN
dirt 5 - Only for good offers
Distrust
Divide By Sheep
DmC Devil May Cry
Doodle Derby
DOOM (1993)
DOOM II
DOOM 64
Dorke and Ymp
Doorways: Holy Mountains of Flesh
Double
Double Dragon IV
Doughlings Arcade
Doughlings Invasion
Draw Slasher
Dreamscaper
DreamWorks Dragons: Legends of the Nine Realms
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Drink More Glurp
Dub Dash
Duke Nukem Forever
Dungeons 3
Dust to the End
DV: Rings of Saturn
Eagle Island
Elderand
Elven Legacy Collection
Endless Fables 3: Dark Moor
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
Escape Dead Island
Escape Game Fort Boyard
Escape from Naraka
Eternal Edge +
Eternity: The Last Unicorn
Etherlords I & II
Eventide 3: Legacy of Legends
Evergarden
Everhood
Exorder
eXperience 112
Explodemon
Extinction
Evoland
F1 2012 - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
f1 2019 Anniversary - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
Family Mysteries: Poisonous Promises
Fantasy Blacksmith
Farabel
Farming World
Farm Frenzy: Refreshed
Figment
Final Doom
Fire
Firegirl
FIRST CLASS TROUBLE
Flashing Lights Police Fire EMS
Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
Flying Tigers: Shadows Over China - Deluxe Edition
Fractured Minds
FRAMED COLLECTION
Freaking Meatbags
Frog Detective 2: The Case of the Invisible Wizard
FRONTIERS
Frick, Inc.
For the People
Formula Carr Racing
Funk of Titans
Furious Angels
Fury Unleashed
Gamedec
GameGuru
Game Dev Studio
Garbage
Gas Station Simulator
Generation Zero
GetsuFumaDen: Undying Moon
Ghost Files: The Face of Guilt
Ghost Files 2: Memory of a Crime
Ghost Files: The Face of Guilt
Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
Gigapocalypse
GOAT OF DUTY
God’s Trigger
Goetia
Go Home Dinosaurs
Godstrike
Going Under
Golden Light
Golfie
Golf Gang
Goodbye Deponia
Grand Mountain Adventure: Wonderlands
Grey Goo Definitive Edition
Grotto
Grid Ultimate Edition
Grim Legends 2: Song of the Dark Swan
Grim Legends: The Forsaken Bride
GRIP: Combat Racing
GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
Groundhog Day: Like Father Like Son
GTA VICE CITY - only for very good offers
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
Gunscape
Guns & Fishes
Guns of Icarus Alliance
Hacknet
Hack 'n' Slash
Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
Hauma - A Detective Noir Story
Headsnatchers
Hero of the Kingdom
Hero of the Kingdom III
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 1
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
Heroes of the Monkey Tavern
Heroes of Hellas 3: Athens
Heroes of Hellas Origins: Part One
HEAVEN'S VAULT
Hexologic
Hidden Memory - Neko's Life
Hidden Object 6in1 bundle
Hidden Object Bundle 5 in 1
Hidden Shapes - Trick or Cats
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hiveswap Friendsim
Hitman Absolution
Holiday Bonus GOLD
Holy Potatoes! A Weapon Shop?!
Homebrew - Patent Unknown
Homefront
Home Sweet Home
Home Sweet Home EP2
Horizon Shift
Hospital Tycoon
How 2 Escape
Hyperdrive Massacre
Hyperspace Invaders II: Pixel Edition
I am not a Monster: First Contact
ICBM
Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition
Impulsion
In Between
Innerspace
Inside My Radio
Internet Cafe Simulator
Interrogation: You will be deceived
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Into the Pit
Insurgency
In Other Waters
Iratus
Ironcast
Iron Commando - Koutetsu no Senshi
Iron Danger
Iron Lung
Iron Marines
Island Tribe
Izmir: An Independence Simulator
Jalopy
Jane Angel: Templar Mystery
Jewel Match Atlantis Solitaire - Collector's Edition
Jewel Match Solitaire 2 Collector's Edition
Jewel Match Solitaire L'Amour
Jewel Match Solitaire Winterscapes
Joggernauts
Just Cause 3
Just Die Already
Just Ignore Them
Kaichu - The Kaiju Dating Sim
Kao the Kangaroo (2000 re-release)
KarmaZoo
Kerbal Space Program
Killing Floor 2
Killer is Dead - Nightmare Edition
Kitaria Fables
Kingdom Rush
King Oddball
Knight's Retreat
Knightin'+
Koala Kids
Konung 2
Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure
Landlord's Super
Lamentum
Laser Disco Defenders
Last Oasis
Last Word
Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
Lego Marvel 2 Deluxe
LEVELHEAD
Lila’s Sky Ark
Livelock
Looking for Aliens
Looterkings
Lost Words: Beyond the Page
Lovecraft's Untold Stories + OST + Artbook
Lords and Villeins
Ludus
Lumberhill
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond - M Edition
Luxor 3
Machinika Museum
Mad Experiments: Escape Room
Mad Max
Mad Tracks
MageQuit
Magenta Horizon
Magrunner: Dark Pulse
MAIN ASSEMBLY
Mahjong
MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
Mask of the Rose
Mass Effect 2
Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Men of War: Assault Squad - Game of the Year Edition
Men of War: Red Tide
Meow Express
Metal Unit
Metro last light redux
Metro Redux Bundle
Micro Machines World Series
Middle-earth : Shadow of Mordor Goty
Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
Midnight Protocol
Mini Ninjas
Mini Thief
Minute of Islands
MirrorMoon EP
Mob Rule Classic
Modern Tales: Age of Invention
Moon Hunters
Monaco
Moss Destruction
MotoGP 15
MORKREDD
Mortal Kombat XL
Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate
Mount & blade
Mr. Run and Jump
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
My Big Sister
Nadia Was Here
NEON ABYSS
Nigate Tale
Nihilumbra
Nippon Marathon
NecroWorm
Neon Chrome
Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
Neverout
NEXT JUMP: Shmup Tactics
Ninjin: Clash of Carrots
Nobodies: Murder Cleaner
Noir Chronicles: City of Crime
Noitu Love 2: Devolution
Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
Northern Tale
Non-Stop Raiders
Now You See - A Hand Painted Horror Adventure
Old School Musical
Omen Exitio: Plague
Orbital Bullet
Orbital Racer
Oriental Empires
Orn the tiny forest sprite
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
Outcast - Second Contact
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Out of Space
OUT OF THE BOX
Overcooked
Overloop
Overlord
Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
Overture
Pang Adventures
Painkiller Hell & Damnation
Paperbark
Paper Beast - Folded Edition
Paper Fire Rookie
Paper Planet
Pathfinder: Kingmaker
Paradigm
Persian Nights 2: The Moonlight Veil
Pathfinder Wrath
Pathway
Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
Paw Paw Paw
PAYDAY 2
Peachleaf Pirates
Persian Nights: Sands of Wonders
Pickers
pillars of eternity
Pill Baby
Pirate Pop Plus
Pizza Express
Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
PixelJunk™ Monsters Ultimate + Shooter Bundle
Pixplode
Pixross
Planet TD
Plebby Quest: The Crusades
Planet Zoo
Police Stories
Post Master
Porcunipine
portal knights
Post Void
Prehistoric Tales
Primal Carnage: Extinction
pro cycling manager 2019
Project Chemistry
Professor Lupo: Ocean
Prophecy I - The Viking Child
Pushover
qomp
Quantum Replica
Quake 2
Rage in Peace
RAIDEN V: DIRECTOR'S CUT
Raining Blobs
Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan
Railway Empire
Radio Commander
Rebel Galaxy
Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
Rebel Inc
Recon Control
Red Faction
Red Faction®: Armageddon™
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
Red Line
Regency Solitaire
Regular Human Basketball
Regions of Ruin
Re-Legion
Retimed
Remnants of Naezith
Rencounter
Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood
Replica
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Resort Boss: Golf
Return to Mysterious Island
Reventure
REZ PLZ
Richard & Alice
Rise of Insanity
Risen
Rising Dusk
River City Girls
River City Melee Mach
ROAD 96
Road to Guangdong
Roads of Rome 3
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
RRRR
RUNOUT
Rym 9000
S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
Safety First!
Sanitarium
Satellite Reign
Satellite Rush
Savage Lands
Save Jesus
Say No! More
Scheming Through The Zombie Apocalypse: The Beginning
ScourgeBringer
Sea Horizon
Serial Cleaner
Sentience: The Android's Tale
SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Severed Steel
Shadowrun Returns
Shadows: Awakening
Shantae: Risky's Revenge - Director's Cut
SHENMUE III
Shing!
Shooting Stars!
Shoppe Keep
SHOPPE KEEP 2
Shutter 2
Shred! 2 - ft Sam Pilgrim
Sid Meier Civilization V
Sid Meier Civilization VI
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
sim city 4
Sir Whoopass™: Immortal Death
Sky Break
SKULLY
Slain: Back from Hell
Slinger VR
Smart Factory Tycoon
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
Songbird Symphony
SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
sonic all stars transformed collection
Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
Sonic Forces
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode II
Sorry, James
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Soulflow
SPACECOM
Space Robinson: Hardcore Roguelike Actio
Sparkle 2
SpeedRunners
Spidersaurs
Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
Spirit of the Isand
Splasher
Spooky Bonus
Spring Bonus
Stacking
Stalingrad
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
Starbound
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Star Wars Knights of the old Republic 2
Star Wars The Force Unleashed
Star Wolves
star trek bridge crew
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition - only for good offers
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Steamburg
Steel Rats
Stick it to The Man!
Stick Fight: The Game
Stikir
Stirring Abyss
Strikey Sisters
Stronghold Crusader 2
Slime-san
Strategic Mind: The Pacific
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Styx: Master of Shadows
SWAG AND SORCERY
Sudden Strike 4
Suffer The Night
Sunlight
Summer in Mara
Superhot VR
Super 3-D Noah's Ark
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Super Rude Bear Resurrection
Super Star Path
SurrounDead
Survivalist: Invisible Strain
Switchball HD
Sword of the Necromancer
Syberia 3
Symmetry
Syberia 3
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Talk to Strangers
tannenberg
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
Team Sonic Racing
tekken 7
Telefrag VR
TERRACOTTA
Tesla Force
Teslagrad Remastered
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Tharsis
The Adventure Pals
The Amazing American Circus
The Assembly
The Big Con
The Black Heart
The Coma 2: Vicious Sisters
The Crow's Eye
The Darkside Detective
The Deed
The Deed II
The Deed: Dynasty
The Dungeon Beneath
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
The Escapists
The Fan
The Final Station
The Flame in the Flood
The Free Ones - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
The Horror Of Salazar House
The Inner World
The Invisible Hand
The Last Crown: Midnight Horror
The Last Tinker: City of Colors
The Long Dark: Survival Edition
The Lost Crown
The Long Reach
The Knight Witch
The Magister
The Metronomicon - The Deluxe Edition
The Myth Seekers 2: The Sunken City
The Myth Seekers: The Legacy of Vulcan
The Next Penelope
The Oil Blue: Steam Legacy Edition
The Secret Order 5: The Buried Kingdom
The Secret Order 6: Bloodline
The Secret Order 7: Shadow Breach
The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf
The Spectrum Retreat
THE SWORDS OF DITTO: MORMO'S CURSEa
The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia
The Town of Light
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead – Season 1
The Walking Dead: 400 Days DLC
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Final Season
The Wild Eight
The Whispered World Special Edition
They Always Run
They Bleed Pixels
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
Through the Woods
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
Ticket to Ride
Tilt Brush
TIN CAN
Time on Frog Island
Time Loader
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
tiny & Tall: Gleipnir
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove
Toki
Tomb Raider GOTY Edition
Tom Clancy's The Division Uplay + Survival dlc
Total War: MEDIEVAL II Definitive Edition
Totally Reliable Delivery Service
Tower of Time
Total War: ROME II - Caesar in Gaul
TRUBERBROOK
Toybox Turbos
Toy Tinker Simulator
Tracks - The Train Set Game
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Trine 2: Complete Story
Trine 3
Trine 4
Tropico 4
Tunche
Tumblestone
Turmoil
Tyrant's Blessing
UFO: Afterlight
Ultimate Zombie Defense
Undead Horde
UNDETECTED
Unloved
Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
Unhack
Unloved
Unmemory
Unto The End
Valfaris
Vambrace: Cold Soul
Vampire of the Sands
Vampire: The Masquerade – Swansong
Vampire Survivors
VANE
Vanishing Realms
Velocity Ultra
Viking Saga New World
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Voidship: The Long Journey
walking dead the new frontier
WARBORN
WARHAMMER 40,000: GLADIUS - RELICS OF WAR
Warpips
War Solution - Casual Math Game
Wandersong
Wargroove
war tech fighters
Wasteland 2: Director s Cut - Classic Edition
Wayout
Wayout 2: Hex
Wayward Souls
We Are Alright
When In Rome
WHERE THE WATER TASTES LIKE WINE
White Night
White Noise 2
Witch it
Without Within 3
WizardChess
World Keepers Last Resort
World Ship Simulator
Worms Blast
Worms Crazy Golf
Worms Pinball
Worms Revolution
Worms Rumble
Wounded - The Beginning
Verdant Skies
XBlaze Code: Embryo
X-Com 2
XEL
XLarn
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
Xpand Rally
Yakuza Kiwami 2
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yesterday Origins"
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Yoku's Island Express
Yono and the Celestial Elephants
Yooka-Laylee
Zarya-1: Mystery on the Moon
Zombie Derby 2
Zombie Night Terror