Poems about caring and loving of mom

Everything in my life has to do with if I give a shit or not and in most instances in my life I just don’t care. Anytime I talk to people I believe I care about I’m incredibly awkward. I just can’t interact with what they’re saying because I just don’t give a shit. I love them and wish them well, but I just can’t interact with anything they’re saying because it has nothing to do with me.
I usually don’t interact with anyone if not for the small Hey’s and Hi’s I give to everyone without really caring about what they say next. I just called my Dad because I didn’t interact with him today and felt worried, but during the whole call I could empathize with his busy day, but didn’t actually care about it after my question was answered. Anytime I notice this I try my hardest to interact with the conversation but I just can’t. I did genuinely ask how my dad was doing because I do care about his being and state of mind, but the second I know he is good for some reason I can’t care about the details. I love my parents, friends, siblings, etc, but I can’t express how I really feel or if I do feel anything at all. It’s like I don’t give a shit, but why go out my way talk to them if I don’t.
There has to be something wrong with me. Everyone can interact with anyone they want and have good, bad, or ugly conversation, but I don’t care about the conversation unless I have interest in it. Like am I not a fucking human being. I been fixing every aspect in my life just to get to this point of realization and I’m stumped. Why can’t I just be normal and live life the way I want. Whole shit probably explains why I can only make surface level friendships but not real friendships. No wonder I’m a virgin.

I keep track of my dreams, I've been doing so since 2017. In the past 10 years I've had maybe 10 dreams with my LO.. I've been ruminating and feeling so heartbroken for the past 6 months.. more heartbroken than ever.. because it's been 10 years and he is still the only one for me. I have no hope of ever getting better. Or of ever finding love that is mutual and feels just as if not better than what I had with him...
these past 6 months he's appeared in my dreams maybe 40x.. most of them are of him cancelling plans on me.. of bringing home another girl, of me changing myself to be perfect for him and i'm still not enough. i'm insane. To love someone for this long that doesn't care about me at all. To still be so hurt...

I love my child...but why do I get the eerie feeling that her reassurance of "I don't even like him" has changed completely. that song is on repeat for her and it aligns with his music too. I should move on but what is there to remaining as friends if they'll talk? do I confront her? do I question tanner? I don't even know. I tend to overthink but it's hitting deep right now. the words of my brother spin in my mind as he puts images in my head. from her ex friend coming and taking her time to her walking and talking with z. I shouldn't worry and move on but why is it dragging me down. and if they are getting close like that? I could only be happy, but she knows how it is with him. they will compliment each other and im sure he's thought about her like...that. if i delete her off of everything, if I disconnected from it all... would I be happier? I seem unsatisfied with graduating. it didn't feel complete. I don't feel full. is it bc I wasn't able to make things right with the only person I let understand me? is it something else? I feel held back. I'm lacking something. trust for sure. but, she's my child. not literally but I feel like we both care for each other equally. o trust her enough, but is there really ever enough trust? I hope she just knows what's right from wrong. to say the least, I don't want for her to end up like me. attached. idk. I can't say anything bad but I can't say anything good. I want to avoid both of them and it feels wrong but I'll be back eventually. it's what I tell myself. I considered going back for their last day...but what good would come of it if I did? maybe I could give him that portrait of him. the realistic one. that's the last thing I have of hin besides his ring. I can rant about him for so long yet feel nothing for him. is it the need to have a relative closeness. is that why I'm so hung over him and kim? because I see my insecurities before me? another person that resembles me somewhat stepping in the place I once was? idk. I don't have feelings for him. I trust him. I want him in my life still, but I don't want to carry my traumas with me along the way to dump on someone following through. I wish they could wipe away his name from my memory completely. I want to forget him. it's horrible to say. but I want to forget him and vice-versa. I want us to meet like we're foreign and regain what we had platonically. a friendship that wasn't planned. ranting on here sucks. I don't fear him, I fear my decisions. it's just the effect he has on me that thinks it's fear. I wanna throw my phone so bad.

So I've been seeing all the doom posting about the new relic sets, and while I can understand why some lines of thought are upset about it, I as a person fail to see the real negatives here.
Given that they gave Firefly her own instance of super break damage, it leads me to suspect that there will be other characters in the future who will use super break in some way.
It's still a good relic, bonus break effect and 10% def ignore is still mighty fine good in my dictionary, so I see no problem, like I said It could be used on other break DPS.
take a gander at these 2 sentences "I love her mom" "fudging useless Aqua" Depending on how you look at them they have different meanings, what does this have to do well, it mostly has to do with the fact that due to a lack of testing luxury, I fail properly understand what the new relic entails.
finally he is a break DPS, and I good one at that, and since he is a B-DPS I'm going to have them partner up with ruan mei, HTB, and gahlleger for obvious reason. So I personally don't see this as a loss.
like I said I can understand to a degree the negative sentiment, but I can't fully comprehend this level of negativity.
and I find it also strange how people call this favouritism when people were also doom posting about her a while back, which I also didn't understand.
the path of equilibrium is a hard one

I saw another post that said the same but they didn't go into any detail. The way she has to go from person to person fixing their life. It's a way to distract herself from the reality of her situation. By her being a miracle worker to everyone around her, it gives her a grandiose sense of self. People need her in their life yadda yadda as I think I remember her freaking out a few times. She is oblivious to a lot of things important to a lot of people and really only cares about what gets the ball rolling or what will save her personal relationships. With narcissists, they need to be fed validation for their social work and power. If they don't, they collapse and fall into a depression. With Scientology, the leader would fall into these pits of sadness when he wasn't doing some tour of message. Princess Carolyn has perfectly crafted the world around her to rely on her. I forget about the relationship with Todd but there might be something there about her needing someone to rely on her at her own home to feel wanted (then translating into a baby and the entire topic of narcissistic parents. Her mom was quite clearly a narcissist even going to create a legend about a necklace for literally no reason.
Even reading the wikipedia on her and her mom which essentially boils down to (for my point needed) about how she developed a workaholic attitude taking care of her mom and all her needs.
I think if you put the lenses on a lot of her relationships and ask: Does she care about this person or does she care about this persons approval. I feel like she is essentially an activist for attention, not for cause.
She broke up with bojack but changed the lenses to being an agent and that perfectly allowed her to take care of him again if I remember correctly
I might edit more onto this later but it was just some ideas I had that I couldn't share anywhere because none of my friends talk about Bojack. I was also kind of

Was going to write a post about how I feel like I've just wasted my entire adulthood. Wrote a journal entry instead and went on to decide to summarise events of my life at every age from 18 until now (29, very nearly 30). Writing it all out made me realise that while I still did waste a lot of time and my potential, and have a lot of regrets, there's quite a lot of explanation for that in the things that happened to during those years.
I didn't clock I had C-PTSD (only informally diagnosed so could be something else, but whatever it is it's rooted in childhood trauma) and start seeking therapy until I was 27 (and a half actually). Even before that, I was suicidal from like 19 but didn't face it like a mental health issue and start taking medication until I was 22 (the amount of time I could've saved by not being too scared to seek more than just meds back then...). So in these years between then and now, I spent a lot of time trying to navigate the world while dealing with a crushing mental health condition I didn't even know I had.
I spent a lot of time attached to really toxic people, replaying sick versions of my childhood or parents' relationship through friendships and relationships. I spent a lot of time being a total workaholic, burning the candle at both ends leaving me so fucked on my days off that I couldn't do anything useful with them. During the pandemic I lived with someone who was really manipulative and volatile, which opened up long closed pathways of what it was like living with/half caring for a schizophrenic caregiver as a teen, and that really opened the PTSD floodgates and there's been no going back since. I 2 years absolutely drowning in confusion as to what the fuck was going on to make my mental state so much worse, and then another 2 since then trying to work on it through therapy.
There were some good years and memories in those years past, particulary 23-26 as I actually had quite a nice little life even if I was troubled. It's a shame that it had to fall apart, but I think I'd take actually working on it and realising that parts of that little life weren't what I thought they were over continuing in ignorance. My life right this moment is a total hellscape of lost time, regrets, forgotten dreams and uncertainty about where to go next. But maybe I'll figure it out. Maybe I should give myself more credit.
If anyone else has had similar experiences or any advice I'd love to hear about it so please leave a comment.

I left my hometown 11 years ago, I grew up in a very conservative and boring town and my parents were super strict and protective. I neve made any friends, until I moved by myself to the capital city of my country and started to travel alone. I love traveling, I’m very adventurous and curious but my family never understood this, they are super conformists and they don’t like to leave the house. After a few years living alone, working and taking care of myself, I made my biggest dream come true, I moved to my dream country to study my masters, and had the chance to live in the city of my dreams: Rome. After graduation, I couldn’t find a job and I had no money left, so I had to come back to my hometown.
I’ve been here for a year, unemployed because I can’t find a job in my country either, and during this time I’ve been diagnosed with severe depression and ADHD. I started therapy and psychiatric treatment and I planned to overdose on benzodiazepines last January, but I got a really nice job opportunity so I decided to give it a chance. I was in the final stages of the hiring process and told a friend about it. He applied and got the job because he has friends in that office. It was my only hope, I lost many opportunities before and after that experience, it wasn’t my fault the projects just failed, and now I have nothing.
I don’t see myself living 40 years more, I don’t want to have children and no one ever loved me so I won’t get married. I don’t have any dream left, I made my greatest dream come true and lost it. There's nothing else I want to do and I’m also broke. I can’t move out of my hometown again, not without support. I stopped enjoying food and music, I can’t even watch a movie anymore. I’m so bored. I used to be so passionate about life and creative and happy… People used to compliment my glow and nice energy.
I’m thinking about hanging myself, because I’m sure that if I ingest some pills or poison I’ll throw up, my stomach is very delicate. I’m just afraid that I won’t die and end up with permanent brain damage.
I am a failure to my parents, they never recognized my successes, they are disappointed that I don’t want children. I was raised to be a wife and a mom and to live next to them my whole life, but I escaped that future. They support my brother, they say he’s the future of the family because he is an engineer and he wants a wife and children, so I don’t have any emotional or financial support.
Is not that I want to go, but I would rather go than stay.

Not a true story!
Hi my name is Yuki and I have a brother and his name is Duri and he is a basketball team and this is how made a bond with his basketball team ok well umm so from the beginning when i was 11 ok i’m going to school I said you mean we are going to school said Duri yeah yeah whatever let’s go to school don’t act like you are the oldest remember so what if you are one year older it means that i am the more responsible child no just cause you are the oldest does not mean that you are the more responsible child oh yes it does no it does not oh really who takes care of you who takes care of the house fine you win but .…never mind let’s not get distracted Yuki said ok whatever at school I wonder what Yuki was about to say I was to scared to say that I was getting bullied can I go to bathroom yes you may Duri thank you Duri wash’s his face oh hey Duri you are working with Jey sweet hey Duri over here hey bro what’s up with the mood nothing just some weird stuff happened ok let’s work on the project later oh hi Jey hey Yuki how are you? good you? Perfect and what is up with Duri hi what are you talking about just a funny video yeah it super funny whatever let’s go get lunch ok but what is lunch today fries or chips btw they are in a private school ok thank you for telling me your welcome hello am i not here do you think that you are not here? No cause you are talking to me so then what does that mean? That i am here exactly Jey yeah yeah whatever I’m sorry can we go to the cafeteria please yes let’s go I’m hungry me too I hate waiting in line it’s always long I know right ok thank god that I’m not the only one think’s that oh yeah you and Duri have a basketball game today yeah we do at 4:48 pm you remember of course I do and it ends at 6:00 pm wow that’s a long game isn't well I’m coming to it we want us to win this game Yeah we will do our best for everyone
At the game ok you can do this I know you can ok everybody follow my lead yes sir! Captain am I going to be on the court yes you are going to be on it right now okay I’ll be right there come on guys is everybody where they are supposed to be Yes! Ok then let’s start calm down Jey pull yourself together you got yourself into this and there is no pulling back Rowan oh it’s Rowan he’s also Duri’s friend he is a first year in basketball and Duri is a second year so he is almost in high school PASS TO ME ROWAN Duri and Jey are both 12 and they are second years in basketball so they really good at it and practice everyday plus there’s going to be new characters in a bit don’t mess this up PASS THE BALL TO ME here we GO COME ON JEY I KNOW YOU CAN MAKE US WIN! I...made it YES you did amazing out there Jey thank you captain your welcome well we need to go now we will anyways meet her out there yeah true I’m coming after they went to the locker room man my legs hurt don’t blame you same here so are we going Celebrate Yes but we need one more person to celebrate And who is that going to be My sister she can be a little mean Her name is Yuki she'll introduce herself to you I am excited to meet her I bet you she's also excited to meet youI'm shy so I don't think I will talk to her that much come on man she is not going to kill you you all know that I do NOT talk to a lot of people but she is kind to people SO don’t need to be scared from her OH YES I DO NEED TO JEY NO YOU DO NOT HEY STOP IT THE BOTH OF YOU NOW what’s taking them so long I wonder if they will like me or hate me well I’m going to need introduce myself
Hi Jasmine Hi Yuki, how are you today?Good and bad Why?A girl made fun of me man I just wish that the world could be better you know yeah I do a lot so much that you would not Believe It Hey sis hey Duri this is my team team this my sister Yuki Hi Yuki Hi let me introduce myself I’m Yuki and I’m one year younger than Duri and I CAN be mean to the people WHO are mean to me so you don’t need to be scared from me and I want to introduce my friend Jasmine hi I’m Pleased to meet you all I am Yuki's friend and we have been friends for 4 years 4 years wow you guys must Know a lot about each other By the way I have a question when did you meet by the way I would like to know well I was doing a race with some other kids and Jasmine asked if she could join and I tripped in the middle of the race and she helped me up and all the other kids left me cuz they want to win the race and she helped me and I thanked her and We became friends And look at us now Those kids were Sad when they figured out that she fell and that they didn't bother to help her and they were a bit angry at themselves and then I told them to stay away from her cuz if you don't be nice to her then just get out of here
And that is a true story you could just ask me her brother for 11 years And Yuki has favor to ask you guys I would like to know why you join the basketball team My name is Lev And I joined the basketball team cuz it was my passion and I liked it when I was a child so that's why I Joined the basketball team I am Tyga I joined the basketball team cuz my brother used to do it and he taught me how to do it and it kind of was fun for me and he taught me he's really cool tricks and he just made it way more funner and easier to learn so I was happy cuz he taught me a lot of things So that's why I joined the basketball team I am Liam and I joined the basketball team cuz I joined multiple other sports and they were just kind of boring to me and I just didn't do basketball so I tried it out basketball cuz I thought it would be fun and nice to join basketball and would be a nice passion to do cuz I haven't tried it yet and I tried it I was bad at the beginning very bad and five months later I started shooting and I was very good at defense so that's why I joined Hi my name is Lucas and I joined the basketball team cuz my story is kind of like Liam's I used to play soccer and then I got kicked out cuz I was very bad at it and I was very good at using my hands so I decided to join the basketball team I hated the fact that I was terrible at the beginning and I was bare8ly good at using the hands for shooting and it was just like that for a few months I don't know how much it was I don't remember and I met Duri and the others and they taught me a bit how to shoot and I'm here now I’m Rowan I joined the basketball team cuz I wanted to play it with Duri And the others plus they taught me a lot of new tricks that's our stories thank you for sharing your stories guys but we sould go to the restaurant yeah we sould go.
after they went to restaurant and celebrated man I’m stuffed same don’t blame ya time to go back home seriously it’s 5:00 PM you kidding man but it was nice meeting you all today I had so much fun with you guys I hope we can do this again sometime later yeah I will try to get some free time I’m off friday let me check yeah i’m off friday what about you guys i’m also off friday I think everyone is off yeah I think so to so we meet again friday after school ok sure why not can I invite Jasmine ummm sure why not I think it will be more fun the more the merrier when they all go home I’m home where were you? You said that you were going to a basketball game we had to two games you went to celebrate didn’t you SO YOU DIDN’T EVEN COME TO MY BASKETBALL GAME hey wait I’m sorry my boss didn’t let me come to it LEAVE ME ALONE ok I will sometime later hi welcome who did she bring now hey Rowan can we come in …..fine come in. why did you guys come well friends are always there for you right come on you know we are there in the right time you can say no but you know it’s true yeah I know it’s true but how did you know that i’m upset your mom told us oh ok well thank you guys for coming to comfort me I really appreciate it your always welcome Rowan.
Well bye see you guys friday at 7:00 AM bye see ya friday GOOD MORNING DURI AHHH WHAT THE HECK omg why so Early in the morning it’s 7:00 a.m. just go back to bed and that's a no cuz it's Friday stupid did you forget we have to go to Train for basketball with the others Oh my God but why so early in the morning it's literally 7:00 a.m. can you stop being annoying I'm not being annoying you are because you're out of bed and wash your freaking face and then we Gotta Go the basketball court for training I was ready to go to Tell mom she whoop Out of bed if you don't want that to happen then get out of bed and wash our face I have the most annoying sister in the world okay fine but just go get ready in then I will get ready right after you cuz I don't take 5 hours to get ready I don't take 5 hours to get ready for your information I don't okay but you do you with that messy hair look at it it's like a freaking tornado My hair is not a tornado talk about yours in the morning Can you just get dressed please we Gotta Go Fine just leave the room ok 30 minutes later Okay I'm done finally okay now let's go because I don't have time for this and waiting for you to get done I was done 10 minutes ago Is there a problem yeah we're 10 minutes late cuz of you You hate it so much there's the door Oh ok let's go She doesn't understand a single thing Don't forget it's from 7:00 till 1:00 pm At the basketball court hey Yuki hey Duri hi hey oh you guys are here Hello I got invied to help you guys train WHAT! Yup you do know that it is hard to do all of this by myself
After everyone got to the basketball court, Ok everyone listen up Yuki and Jasmine is going to tell you guys have to work on. Ok so Lev,Liam and Rowan have to work on offense Tyga,Lucas,,Jey and Duri have to work on defense ok get to work. After training for 6 hours You will be doing this training for 3 months. WHAT ONE DAY WAS ENOUGH Look around Yuki the courts floor IS FILLED WITH SWEAT AND IS NOT JUST THE FLOOR BUT ALSO US you wanna get better right ? Yeah but this intense TO intense Liam said then went to get his water yeah Tyga said gasping for air can you at least make it 4 hours fine you want 4 hours you will get 4 hoursTHANK YOU a bit of the pain is gone nice i guess you guys still have to do this for 3 months my legs are in so much pain see you guys tomorrow at 7:00 hey Yuki can I to you yeah give me a sec…. Ok what is it? You have a bruise on your head what no i don’t tell me are you getting bullied……. Y-yes but please don't tell Duri ok but I can help you how? After telling her his plan WHAT YOU WANT BE MY FAKE BOY- shhh you do know that Duri will kill you yes here it’s my number I’ll tell you the rest on text ok after they all went home hey hi so your plan is to be MY fake boyfriend yes that's my plan do you realize how Duri is going to kill you when he finds out that YOU are my boyfriend well fake boyfriend yes i do so how about you keep this a secret just between you and me huh even if we do don’t you think that he might find out? I don’t know how to answer that of course you don’t why would you huh oh right you don’t know anything! Can you stop being so mean NO i will meet you tomorrow at school ok fine see you tomorrow see you at school the next day so what do you say? I say that I don’t agree with any of this but I was forced to do this so ….I-I will be…your..your girl-friend ok a deal is a deal so you know if you tell Duri I will die so how about you not tell him please with whip cream and a cherry on top ugh fine I won't tell him thank you or you can tell him you just have to tell him why yeah he will still kill you either way hey whatcha talking about AHHHHH OMG WHAT ARE YOU A GHOST OMG LEV ? sorry Lev said in a sorry tone YOU BETTER BE what's with the mood I’m not a morning person oh that makes a lot of sense anyway Rowan Duri wants to see you why to be exact Rowan said with a nervous tone yeah why Yuki said worrying i don't know he didn’t say why well i'll go with him okay Lev said before he left do you think he found out no he wasn't in the room at the time you sure YES MY GOD just how am i not dead bro you're going to be fine

Hello, I usually don’t post on here but I don’t know who else to ask and I really need some advice. This is a lifelong problem for our family so if anyone has any serious advice, it would be much appreciated. So my Mom has been dealing with my Dad for pretty much my whole life (I am 23). They have their highs and lows like all relationships but my Dad has done many things to cross the line over the years. As of recently, his activity has been impacting my Mom and his finances greatly. He has been draining their account for year and a half to pay someone who claims to be a famous girl. My Mom, brother and I have done the research and found it to be a scam around 6 months ago. Unfortunately, my Dad is so gullible that he refuses to believe that this is a scam, despite there being undeniable evidence. There has been multiple talks we have had with him to get him to stop but he still persists in his actions.
As expected, these actions are driving my Mom crazy and she has finally had enough. She has been hesitant to take further steps also because she is very Christian. It is clear she wants a divorce and me and my older brother are fed up as well, so we will support her to the fullest. Unfortunately, my Mom has been put in a tough spot financially because of this situation. Plus she is a teacher and doesn’t get paid well in the first place. The thought of paying for all the fees that will come from a divorce also keeps my Mom from taking further action. And my Dad refuses to leave the house, which also causes further problems.
I am really close with my Mom and she always tells me everything that is going on. She asks me for advice and I legitimately don’t know what to tell her. I have told her to go to an attorney but she tells me she already has and they told her “the partner must be separated from the main residence for 1 year to move forward with a divorce.” And to that, it leaves me even more clueless of where to go from here. She tells me I shouldn’t have to worry about this situation, but it’s hard to see someone you love go through something like this. And for me, I am already kinda stressed as I’m trying to navigate post-grad life. I do have a full time job, so I am totally down to help her financially. Can someone give me any pointers on where to go from here? Who should she contact? What’s the best course of action?

First of all sorry for my bad English, it’s not my mother’s tongue. I (19F) have been friend with this girl (19F) since we were 12. We were really close when we were 15 but drift appart when we entered high school cause we didn’t go to the same one (different city with like 2h away from each others). But we were still close. I considered her my bestfriend for a long time. On day, when we were 16, we went on a week vacation at the beach (my parents had a small appartement there that they rent for the Holliday) with our friend groups, we’re five girls. Everything was fine when all of a sudden she snapped at me for being on my phone and not listening to the conv the 4 of them were having. I was really surprised because I thought everything was fine, cause I was in fact listening to there conv, I was just not talking. She started telling me how I seemed unintrested in their conv, about their life and everything. And I was very surprised cause I was in fact interested in everything that she listed. The only thing I wasn’t interested in was whatever they were smoking cause I’ve never smocked once in my life and never will. Things started getting worse and I ended up leaving back to where we were staying, cause I was angry at her for not understating that me not talking didn’t mean that I wasn’t happy to be there with them. I actually had a big panic attack back at the appartement . Things I didn’t know at that time was that I had depression. That explains a lot of why I didn’t really talked to anyone, didn’t mean that I wasn’t interested in their life, even if it was thing I didn’t enjoy at all, like drinking, talking about boys / sex, getting high, and everything. I was still interested because I loved the 4 of them and they made me happy and that was enough for me. But it wasn’t for her. Anyway we didn’t really talked to each others till the end of the vacation. She apologized at the end of the summer, while she was drunk. We didn’t really see each other’s for the next year cause I changed school and we were even more far appart. Anyway we had this groupe chat with the 5 of us for years literally, and we talked on this gc every single day. As I said before I’ve never been the type of person to talk a lot since nothing really interesting happened in my life, and I had undiagnosed depression. But I’ve always been the listener type of friend. But as we entered uni (all in different places again) we started talking less and less on this gc At least they did Cause I’ve never talked much I assumed that it was because they were very busy Anyway, at that time my depression started getting worse an worse I was having a hard time at work and at uni I tried my best to stay alive (literally) And so I didn’t have time to talk to anyway, cause I literally wasn’t mentally stable enough to even take care of myself properly. This lasted for a year. Fast forward this year, she told us on the gc that she was pregnant. I started crying, I was so happy for her, I was so happy to finally have some news on this gc. A few weeks passed and I had no news about her pregnancy. I thought about her everyday but I was so busy with school and so depressed that I didn’t send any text. This honestly is my biggest regret ever, cause I really wanted to send her a text, but the fight we had a few summer before was so bad that I was too scared to talk to her. Anyway, I finally started taking antidepressant after years being undiagnosed and literally suicidal (not really but I had suicidal thoughts) for years. I started feeling better and was finally able to talk with other people. They were the first person I told about my depression. They were the first person I reached out to. I was so happy to finally be able to properly apologize for not really being there, and being silence for a long time. Mind you I was silent but I was still watching every single of their stories, wishing them the best and everything. I also asked them how they were doing and especially how she was doing with her pregnancy. They saw my message and like talked like for 2 minutes and that was it. No « I hope you’re ok », no « im glad you finally know what was wrong » nothing. The only thing they told me was the she was waiting for a girl. I was so happy for her. They didn’t talk for another month till I send another text again, asking about them, how they were doing, how her pregnancy was going. I got no answer from her. I was feeling so bad, cause I knew it was my fault for not reaching out sooner, but at the same time I was incapable of doing so. But I still feel horrible for loosing her like that. Fast forward 2 weeks ago. I changed my antidepressant medication, took stronger ones cause those I had weren’t strong enough. So I’ve been on medication for 3 months now, and 2 weeks with the new ones. A few days ago I discovered via their private stories that they had a separate group chat without me, where they were talking every day. And here I was waiting for them to tell me when they were available for us to see each others again after months of not being able to. How am I supposed to ask them question if they don’t update me anymore about anything ??? And when I’m asking they don’t reply ???? I honestly felt broken, cause I for really thought that the reason they weren’t talking to our gc anymore was cause they were too busy with they life like I was. Turns out they have a whole ass gc without me where they talk not only everyday but also use to decide when to hand out together. They never asked me once when I was available to hand out with them. Cause I would have gladly clean up my schedule to finally see them again, and finally see her pregnant. But they didn’t think of asking me. Anyway today was what really made me feel like an asshole. As I said i have new medication atio. But this one give me really bad side effects. I have a really hard time breathing, I feel like vomiting, my head is spinning all the time, and above all my chest hurts. So today I called my therapist and she told me to immediately quite my medication. The thing is, my family has heart problems. And she think that’s probably what is happening to me. So today not only did I learn that I had to stop what was finally letting me smile for once, but also that I probably had heart problems and that I have to see a cardiologist as soon as possible. That shit scared me asf as you can imagine. I got out of work and immediately decided to text them, cause first I wanted to update them on my life, but I also wanted to have updates on theirs. They didn’t say anything, only one of them did, and She just told me not to bother to come see her the day she’ll give birth cause it’s gonna be « to hard for me to come anyway since of my work and my lack of money » (cause mind you she lives very far away from me). I told her it was no problem and that I wanted to be there, but she told me there’s no need to bother. And I know it’s her saying she doesn’t wanna see me anymore. So yeah. That was kinda a long story. But yeah, I’m really sad I wasn’t able to be there for her pregnancy, but I was so depressed it was too hard for me. I don’t expect her to forgive me, but I at least would have liked for her to understand my situation the way I understand why she’s upset.

when I was three years old, I never really wanted to hang out with any kids in preschool. I never really socialized with them or wanted to play with them. I just wanted to do my own thing in the corner or draw/color quietly by myself the teacher always come up to me and try and get me to go play with the other kids, but I never did. when I was four my parents started fighting every single night. when I started kindergarten, I had no friends. My parents never really acknowledged my existence and my siblings were too cool to hang out with their five year-old brother. I was always the kids sitting on the ground counting grass or just staring off into space thinking about nothing when I was seven in second grade I was sent to the guidance office almost every single day because I did not know how to regulate my emotions, my mom never ever paid attention to me because she was always working. My dad wasn’t in the picture and my siblings were in high school and too busy. We didn’t really have any other family around. I remember one day and third grade getting off the bus and no one was home, I sat on the porch and waited for hours until the neighbor finally noticed and called my mom. she was at the bar drinking with her friends at 3 PM on a Monday fourth grade. I remember having a lockdown and we all thought it was a drill. The principal came over the speaker and cleared everything. The teacher opens the curtain and I just see my dad handcuffed getting put in a police car, when I was 12 and in middle school, my mom would just disappear for months at a time. I would come home from school do my homework watch tv alone in my room. The principal had noticed I never brought lunch from home or got lunch from school. The school psychologist ran some testing on me and determined I had an eating disorder. when I started high school things got worse I got a job all by myself working at a grocery store. I was so proud of myself and when I told my mom, I got a very weak good job. when I was 16 I came out to her as gay and she did not take it very well. She started screaming saying I’m never gonna be happy and I’m never gonna find anyone that I love. when I was 17 I met a boy that I had loved. He was three years older than me and we started dating. I still didn’t have any friends so I grew really attached to him. He was the only person that ever gave me attention or love. Eventually he got really sick of it and broke up with me. That has led to me right now sitting in the chipotle parking lot at 9 PM on a Tuesday alone, not knowing what I’m doing with my life. each day goes by and I just never know what I’m doing.

My girlfriend and I were together for two years, part of it was long distance. We were previously good friends for 5 years, then she was the one that caught feelings and pursued me first. During our relationship she always told me things like “I’m the one”, we talked about how we would get married and grow old together, she made so many promises that she was 100% sure of me and that she’d never leave. She would say things like “we’ve known each other in every lifetime”. We got together even though I was leaving for a masters study, she said she thought she’d never do long distance again but for me it was worth it, bc she was 100% sure I’m the guy she wants. I left a week after we got together, and I was gone for about a year. During that time we visited once a month, it was always great. I eventually moved back and we spent another year together in person. I’m sorry if this post is too long.
She ended things about a month ago. During the breakup she gave me very vague answers so I couldn’t get the closure I needed. I decided to reach out a week after the breakup to ask why she did it, and what she said killed me inside.
She said that she knew we were compatible and I’m an amazing person but felt like she was settling for me, and she didn’t want to live her life like that when she thinks she can find something better. She said she believes in that soulmate connection with one person when you know deep inside you that this is “it”, and she didn’t feel like that with me, she didn’t think I was “it”. But we did say to each other during the relationship that this was “it”, she told me so many times that I’m the one, so I don’t know how a flip just switched in her brain. She also said she realized she didn’t love me in the way “real love” is, and maybe she just loved the idea of me. She said she always felt the need to be accepted and loved by people and I made her feel like that. She said when you truly love someone you’d sacrifice things for them, and she wouldn’t sacrifice things for me. She said she was forcing herself to be comfortable around me, and it wasn’t the type of comfort that it should be with “the one”.
How the fuck does it take you two years to realize you don’t love someone in the way “real love” is? Especially after all the emotional intimacy we shared. How could you be uncomfortable with me? I was her first kiss, her first hand hold, she said she was saving those things for the right person and she did them with me. Why would she feel like shes settling for me when she’s the one that pursued me first? She went all out to “get me” and be in a relationship with me. Am I really the type of guy that gets settled for? That hurts like hell. She said she was having all these thoughts during the last 4 months of the relationship. But literally a month ago, I felt that she’s been a bit cold, and I asked if everything was okay. She said “nothings wrong, I’ve been really stressed with school/work. But nothings wrong with us, maybe something’s just wrong with me with all the stress. But we’re good, that doesn’t mean I don’t love you or that I’d ever give up on us, I’d never do that. Don’t worry I still love you and I’ll always be here.” She said that word for word. So she was lying to me? Why would you lie instead of communicating openly? If she had told me she was having those thoughts it would’ve been easier for me, but she gave me that reassurance and then blindsided me a month later. I told her it’s normal to lose feelings in a relationship after a while, that eventually that initial spark or honeymoon phase ends, and that’s when the real relationship starts and you work on building a life together. Love eventually becomes a choice and not just a feeling. But she said she wouldn’t lose feelings with the right person. Now I’m the wrong person when she literally told me a million times that we were always meant for each other. I told her I think she’ll end up being disappointed when she realizes there is no “one” person that gives you that magical feeling for life, you eventually reach a point where you have to choose that person everyday. Relationships are hard and most of them end up losing that initial spark, but it’s an opportunity for a new kind of love to blossom, a love based off commitment and loyalty to each other. That’s the only way a relationship can last forever. And during our relationship we even acknowledged that fact together and we told each other that if the feelings fade we will always choose each other no matter what happens. It makes no sense to me. And if she actually lost feelings and fell out of love, that’s fine. But to say she never loved me in the way “real love” is, that makes no sense to me and it’s killing me inside. Have I just been blind and stupid the entire relationship? How does it take TWO YEARS to realize that? She said to me, “maybe you can choose someone and settle for them and learn to love them, but I believe there’s one person out there that is meant for me and when I find them I will know it deep inside me.” Yea, I believed that too. I believed it because I thought it was you. Just because I chose you doesn’t mean I’m settling for you or learning to love you. I thought you were meant for me. It’s so ridiculous I don’t understand, she used to be so sure that I was the one, she knew it deep inside her that I was. And now she’s saying that when she finds it, she’ll know. Well you knew it with me and now you don’t.
Part of me understands why she lost feelings, we didn’t really have a strong base. We were together for only a week before I left for a year. I feel like it wasn’t enough time for the physical attraction to build up and to get to know each other in person. By the time we visited each other, a lot of time had passed and the spark wasn’t the same as the beginning, it was kinda awkward at first. We got into a serious committed relationship talking about future marriage, before we ever hugged each other. She was scared to kiss me, maybe that’s why she said she was forcing herself to be comfortable. But eventually we kissed and it was great. During the visits it felt like everything was going great and that our relationship was getting stronger. I didn’t think that she was uncomfortable. I feel like if we had done all the intimate things in the beginning, we would have a base to build off of and the spark would be alive.
Also I keep blaming myself and wondering what I did wrong. I’m just certain that it’s my fault, that I made her lose attraction. Maybe I wasn’t manly enough or attractive enough. Maybe I was too boring or uninteresting or too “stable”. Being in love with someone basically means you have to be sexually attracted to them first, that’s what separates family love from romantic love. Maybe I didn’t do enough to keep her attracted to me, so she felt like she lost feelings. It was really hard with the distance. I tried, I really tried. I would always flirt and tease her, I tried not to let the relationship feel like it was a platonic friendship over time. I was always confident and “manly” with her, I stood my ground when she did things I didn’t like, I wasn’t needy. We sexted and video called all the time. I always planned amazing dates. I tried to keep the fun alive. I don’t know what else I could’ve done to keep her attracted. I truly feel like if we had been in person the whole time, it would’ve worked and she would’ve still been attracted to me. It’s just different when you’re there physically. But we both knew this, we acknowledged that it was gonna be hard and the feelings may fade, but we said we’d always choose each other no matter what. Maybe it was inevitable with the distance, but at the end she said it wasn’t because of the distance, she believes with the right person the distance wouldn’t matter. So I just wasn’t the right person for her, I was for a while, but I let her lose attraction for me. Your view on love and attraction may differ, but I learned that it’s the guy’s responsibility to keep a woman attracted, it’s about how he acts and behaves that keeps her attracted. So it’s my fault she lost attraction, it’s something I did. For example when I look back at the first visit, a mistake I made was asking to kiss her instead of just going for it. She said no, maybe because I came off as unconfident and that turned her off. I was so nervous during the first visit because there was so much expectation built up inside my head. Maybe that prevented me from being able to genuinely enjoy myself around her and attract her. Eventually though, we got comfortable with each other and we kissed and it was great. I felt the spark was there. I don’t think she met someone else, I asked her and she said no. Yea maybe she could’ve lied, but i know her and I don’t think she would do that. She said “you know me, I would never allow myself to do that while I’m in a relationship. The reasons are solely because I don’t feel in love with you anymore.”
We hit a little rut near the end because we were both very busy, but I didn’t think it was concerning because she always gave reassurance and made it seem like everything is fine. It feels like shit hearing that someone was settling for me. Why wasn’t I enough? I keep looking back and thinking what I could’ve done different to keep her attracted. I keep nitpicking at myself and feeling insecure about the way I am. She was so sure of me in the beginning so I must’ve done something along the way to make her lose feelings. She let me tear my walls down and trust her fully, then she left. It feels like I’m not worthy of love because she saw something in me and decided she didn’t want me. What hurts the most is that to me, she was “it”, to me she was the one. And she said that to me too and I believed her. I felt that she truly meant it when she said that. She would tell me she was always attracted to me and had feelings during our friendship but she “locked them in a box” because she was too afraid. She even told me that I was a walking green flag and that I was perfect and I did nothing wrong. It hurts to know she thinks that yet she still decided she didn’t want me. It kills to know that one day she’ll get married, he’ll get to hold her and kiss her and have a family, and it won’t be with me. I can’t stand the thought of her being intimate with someone else. And it’s the thought that, whoever she ends up with, will be better than me in a way. She will love him more than she loved me. He will make her feel what I couldn’t make her feel. And I’m blaming myself so much that I couldn’t make her feel like that anymore. I’m grieving the future that we both planned together. I feel so betrayed, I feel like shit. Most of all I just really miss her, we knew each other for 7 years and now we’re just strangers again.
I’ve been hurt before, I’ve had a few breakups, but this one hurts the most. I don’t know what it is about this girl that makes me feel like I’ll never find anyone better. I know that time heals everything but I feel like this has damaged me on a deep level, I feel like I can’t let my walls down again. I don’t want to love again and risk getting hurt. I can’t invest myself fully into someone if I’m always afraid they’re going to blindside me. I know a breakup shouldn’t define your self worth, but it’s just the idea that the person I loved doesn’t see herself spending her life with me anymore, that makes me feel really bad. It’s the thought that she saw something in me that made her decide she doesn’t love me. She analyzed our relationship and thought “I want someone better”. The thought that it’s my fault, that it’s something I did. I didn’t have enough “game”. I couldn’t keep her attraction high. I can’t stand the idea of her getting married one day and finding her “it”. Of course I want her to be happy but I’d be lying if I said that doesn’t kill me inside.
Nobody is perfect but she was close to it. She’s such a rare breed, she had everything I wanted in a woman and it’s so hard to come by. I wish I had a reason to hate her but she’s genuinely an amazing person. She did nothing bad to me, we barely fought and when we did it was very gentle. Our entire relationship was pretty much perfect up until the end. I’ve never been with someone that was this compatible with me. She’s the kindest human, she’s intelligent, she’s very mature, she’s beautiful inside and out, she’s very warm and gentle. And the fact that she’s such a sweet and genuine person makes it way harder. If she had cheated or something I think this would’ve been easier on me, because I’d see her as a bad person. But she’s not a bad person. It hurts way more knowing that she was feeling like she wanted to end things, but at the same time she was trying to convince herself to love me, because she didn’t want to hurt me. She didn’t want to break her promises, she was trying so hard not to, but in the end she couldn’t lie to herself anymore. Why do I have to feel like someone has to convince themselves to love me? Why does someone have to force themselves to believe I’m the one? Why can’t anyone ever just truly believe it with their entire soul, that they want to be with me. When I asked for reassurance and she told me she still loved me and would never give up, she was trying to convince herself because she didn’t want to hurt me. It was all lies. Every “I love you” in the last 4 months was a lie. I feel like such an idiot that I was sitting there for the past 4 months thinking that everything was going great. She was just faking her affection the whole time. Imagine hearing that someone was forcing themselves to love you. No one was forcing you! The exit door has always been open, no one forced her to stay, no one forced her to pursue me in the first place. I told her many times that I just want truth and transparency in our relationship, yet she hid all of those things. She said she hid them because she cared about me and didn’t want to hurt me, and she was trying to make it work. But if she truly cared for me, she would know that I deserve honesty, I deserve to know the truth even if it hurts. I don’t deserve to live in a lie. If she cared for me she would let me go find someone who truly loves me, instead of just pretending to love me. By lying, she was only caring about herself, to relieve herself of the guilt. The breakup would’ve been way smoother if she just told the truth from the start, but now I feel like an idiot who sat there for 4 months thinking that everything was going well, when in reality it wasn’t.
There’s so many things I loved about her. I loved the way she cries during every movie, she thinks she’s too sensitive but I think it’s beautiful to feel your emotions that deeply. I loved the way her face lights up when she smiles. I loved how she would call me just to tell me silly little things about her day. I loved her curiosity and wonder for the universe. I loved how she would run into my arms when she saw me. She just understood me, and I understood her. I can’t hate her, I wish I could, but I just love her with all my heart. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. Even when 20 years pass and I’m over this and we’re both married to other people, I will still love her and wish the best for her. I miss her so much, I miss talking to her. I know we can't be friends, but I really wish I could still have her in my life. But I shouldn't wish that I guess, because she decided she wants to live her life without me in it. I can’t believe she could decide to lose me forever when she always said she could never live without me.
The worst part is, I reacted to the break up very emotionally. I showed how hurt I was, I wrote a long paragraph, and I brought up all the promises she made. That was a mistake, it probably killed any ounce of attraction she had left. If there was any chance of her coming back or realizing it was a mistake, I destroyed that chance. I made it look like I can’t live without her. I didn’t beg for her back at all, but I kept pushing for answers and explanations. I asked her what I did wrong and stuff, and that made me look super desperate. I should’ve just accepted the break up immediately and cut off all communication. Maybe then she would’ve thought about it, she would wonder why I wasn’t upset and have second thoughts about her decision. It would make me look more attractive in her eyes. But no I ruined it forever. Now all I want to do is salvage some respect, to make her see me as a valuable person. Not as someone who can’t live without her. Deep down I really want her to have a change of heart, I want her to feel re-attracted somehow, after having some time and space away from the situation. But I ruined her image of me. Now I’m looking back and analyzing every little thing about our relationship and wondering what I should’ve done better. I realized I made a lot of mistakes, which at the time I didn’t think were mistakes, but now looking back it’s probably my fault she lost attraction. I didn’t do enough.
I told myself during the relationship that “everything is temporary, don’t get too attached, life can change at any moment”. I know those things because I’ve learned my lessons from the past, but this is still killing me. I know almost everyone has been heartbroken, I’m nothing special, every human has been through this before. I just need to hear that it wasn’t my fault or that I’ll find someone better eventually. I’m blaming myself a lot right now and I keep thinking that she wouldn’t have left if I had been attractive enough. I generally consider myself a confident person but this has set me back a lot, it’s ruining my self esteem. Maybe I have attachment issues that I need to work on. I know that time will heal this, but right now I can’t imagine myself finding someone that’s better. I feel like the idea of “the one” has been ruined for me. I want to believe it, but I don’t think I do anymore. Even if I find another person who I think is the one, there’s always the possibility that they will change their mind. There’s always a chance that all of their words and actions were just lies. A lot of people get into relationships because they love the idea of being in love, not because they are actually in love with the person.
Thank you for reading this far, I know it’s a long post. I needed somewhere to vent, I don’t have many people to talk to. When I cry, I cry alone. And during the act of crying I start to hate myself for being such a bitch. I know it’s perfectly okay to cry and feel your emotions but it’s hard to escape the conditioning that I’m used to. I have friends and family but, I can’t express my emotions the way I did in this post. People have their own lives and worries and they don’t want to deal with someone’s silly heartbreak I guess.
TL;DR - my gf and I broke up a month ago, she said she was settling for me and that I wasn’t the “one”, even though she made promises and assured me that she wouldn’t leave. I keep blaming myself and wondering what I did wrong.

My exwBPD and I broke up last week after 4 years of being together. I feel I did everything for her. She would get angry at me for emotionally shutting down, but if I tried to communicate about how I felt about something, it was about her feelings and how what I was feeling was wrong. I told her I needed a break and I didn’t know if I wanted to do it anymore, that’s when she started saying I never communicate and she could’ve changed. A day after the break started, she said she wanted to move on and that she’d always love me. The next day I get a rally of text messages telling me how much she hates me and how I’m not a man and that I’m a coward.It really hurts.
Some days are better than others, trying to keep myself busy as much as possible. I work for her dad, and he refuses to fire me because he likes me and I’m his best worker. But she comes into the office everyday and I don’t know if I can still handle seeing her. We have been no contact (due to me blocking her on everything) besides this. It kills me everyday I’m in her prescence. She is so very physically beautiful to me. She is also trying to inject her self into my friend group (by starting to hangout with girls that come around pretty often) which concerns me because her presence hurts me so bad. Her family has reached out to me to mark sure I’m okay, because they all really liked me, and they told me they’re gonna miss me.
Before we broke up, she screamed at my mom and told her she would make sure her grandkids hate her and how she’s a “fat c*nt”. We lost my dad 2 year ago to cancer so I feel very protective of her and her feelings. When my ex would get mad, she would become a different person. Her eyes would dilate, get shaky, sometimes throw and hit things and would go absolutely off the rails. I’m 23, so I have a lot ahead of me which gives me hope. I know time heals, but right now I feel I’m trying to escape a maze that doesn’t have an exit. When our love was good it was the best feeling in the world, but when it was bad it was terrifying. She also seems to be doing very well which also hurts.
I just wanted to share my uncoupling journey so far, and so far it is so hard.

It's only been three days...
The relationship only lasted 2 months, but it felt as if we've known each other for much longer. While I (25 BW) initiated the break up, I felt that we've been arguing more often than not. He (26 WM) felt like I brushed him off with plans and wasn't a priority, and I felt disrespected, untrusted and slightly controlled. He is a hurt person and has been cheated on before me. I wanted to prove to him how much I love him and show how much he matters to this world. I truly tried to make sure he felt loved but it seemed like I'd get criticized for my feelings and sometimes he thought I'd just leave him for someone else... Here I am, single and still constantly think of him. I never had an issue reassuring him and complimenting him. He was my teddy bear 💔
I don't see him as a bad person and I don't think I'll ever bring myself to hate him. I felt like we both could've done better. When he accepted it he said "You'll never have to see me again. Have a good life. Bye." Then he hung up. It crushed me. I didn't want to leave our relationship. I just didn't want to have constant fights over how he spoke to me or fearful of his anger when things don't go his way. The same issues woul keep arising.
Despite all of that we still played so many games together (nearly everyday), went on fun dates, watched movies, planned future events and had fun intimate moments. We also rushed this relationship (even though I didn't want to). I also understand that I could've been better. Maybe I should have called out of work sometimes...? Not be so sensitive? I don't know... I wanted to be the one to show him that he is important... perhaps he didn't feel that way with me.
I want to check in on him as it seems like we both really do care about each other... I don't know if he actually hates me, thinks low of me like his other exes, wants nothing to do with me OR I need to be the one if any contact needs to be made. His best friend follows me on Instagram and I'm unsure if he told him about my condition. I am beside myself, crying at work, physically weak, loss of appetite and energy... My family and friends have been helping me out, but I keep thinking about the good times and his beautiful face. I hate when people insult him trying to make me feel better. I still harbor feelings for him. The only relief I get is by sleeping and a bit at the gym...
I've only been in two relationships (this is my second) and it feels so brutal. I've been single for most of my life and I just want to be loved. Not replaced, hated or invaluable. I want to see him again. What if he's not even thinking about me? Should I reach out or just look forward to whatever the future brings...?😞

I’ve been scrolling this subreddit and it’s making me want to stop playing, so I need advice. Im very sensitive to scary aspects of any game, especially jumpscares and not having a ‘safe place’ where I can relax. Is the randomly spawning suction cup monster going to ruin the game for me once I get to the labs?
I absolutely love my bases - my bro and I have two - one in the 2nd floor security office, and one in the little room over the Blacksmith. The purple portals always open down by the robot near the sec office during raid nights and I set up a testa coil out front so I never have to worry about raids, but now I’m reading about this monster that comes through walls and doesn’t care about my base being ‘safe’.
Am I correct in this? I have really enjoyed this game but I can’t handle constant jumpscares. Is there an easy way to handle them and make my base safe again once they become an issue?
Again I love the game and most of the scary aspects I’ve adjusted to. This one seems more challenging. Thanks in advance!

As a twin my whole life I have shared with someone else.
Hugs and love from my parents were shared by us.. family.. everything.
I just wanted that one thing that would be all mine.
Your heart was the one thing i wanted all to myself but it wasn't meant to be
It was never really mine to keep because your addiction will always beat me out.
I can never have won against your own mind. I didn't stand much chance.
The more I fought to save it, the more you backed away to avoid talking about our feelings and the shame, hurt, dispair..
I was just left all alone, crushed in this lost limbo so long I had forgotten who I was. My sun had set but no moon lit my sky.
My heart was yours. Soft and delicate, but now jaded and hardened by life's sad surprises but still beating for the good in life.
The little butterflies and bees flying happily around the flowers, laying on sand with your ties in it baking in the sun without a care..
I miss myself. I want her back but better. I want to be happy.
I would say "goodbye" my love but I don't know if you'd hear me leaving. there was love here but now is my time to stop chasing it.
Betrayal changes you but after many times you just become a husk of yourself. I plan to fill my husk with love for myself and fly away from here.
Soaring like the beautiful butterfly above and beyond.
Hope it's not too cheesey lol

Here’s a story about a crazy incident that took place years ago that I decided to write out in a sort-of poem/rap.
Cruisin' home from up north with a couple of kids One's name was Nick, we had stayed at his crib He cracked open a water, had a couple of sips Said "I'm over it" and tossed it out of the whip What he nearly hit was a biker at our six Now the biker's pissed..big guy..probably 6 foot 6, and thick Has a spiked metal helmet, wants to rip off our dicks Maybe beat us with sticks Maybe cut us to bits Then go home and get blitzed Not a care that we're kids
Got in the lane next to us and started to scream Had a girl on his bike to add to his team After yelling obscene things, they started to leave We began to think we would get away clean
The biker turned right, good luck like the clover Until Nick screamed some shit and it started back over
The guy turned around, on the hunt like a hound By now, he was ready to smash Nicks face to the ground I pulled into a place, but there was no one around Another problem...there was no way out
See, the only way out was the way I came in And by the way we were parked, it wasn't an option He got off his bike and started walkin' Angry as hell, if with gun he'd be cockin' Ready to bust caps in each one of our noggins Locked all the doors, adrenaline rushin' Right up to my door is where he was flockin'
To our left was a field, looked flat from a distance Had to make a decision, and it had to be instant
Didn't want to die, so I threw it in drive Wasn't high, just a guy tryna survive
In the middle of the field was a bit of a ditch Came up so fast, I couldn't see it The front of my car took a nice little hit We were thrown all around, it was scary as shit But not even a scratch, no first aid kit
We had to keep going, no time for me slowing Drifted into the road, and with traffic we're flowing Left in the dust, this biker I was showing Should've left us alone, we really had to be going.

Please suggest me a laptop in the range of 60-70k. My needs- 1. Best display possible which don't fuck my already fucked eyes. 2. Performance needs to be top notch in this range. Like I will runing multiple applictions, coding(basically python I love python man lol) and video watching(anime at max visuals kek). Don't care about gaming but some applications I use demands GPU so will be great if it does have a dedicated GPU. Ignore GPU if for GPU I have to compromise performance.
Also, planing on buying from Amazon/official site as I heard many bad reviews for flipkart. Should I buy on emi or one time payment?

As a brief introduction, I decided to brainstorm a metaphor for how moving on normally looks like for people. I always notice when people create these metaphors, they rarely mention that everyone makes mistakes when moving on, we’re emotional creatures and we do things out of jealousy, anger, spite and sadness that can really hurt us. I wanted to make a metaphor that showcases the fact that everyone makes mistakes, and whilst moving on seems like the most difficult task you can go through, in reality, with some self care and self reflection, you can make the task much, much easier. Feel free to leave any thoughts or different views that could be added in below this post and I hope this can help a few of you guys out!
Imagine you are in a pit, on the side of a cliff. You look up and you can see the summit of the cliff, it seems light years away from you, a truly daunting cliff to climb. In front of you, there are 2 ladders. To the left is your ladder and to the right is your ex’s ladder.
The break up: You have just been broken up with, your ex has sat and thought about this decision for the past weeks or months and has finally followed through with it. You are now alone, at the bottom of this pit, with only a ladder in front of you to help you get back to the summit you were once on. However, you have been broken up with, you are emotional, you don’t even want to look at the summit, looking at the summit is daunting, you know how much work you have to do, but thats hard, you want what is easy, you just want your ex back, you want to them to be in the pit with you and help you, but doing that will leave you both at the bottom, you have to go your separate ways to reach the summit. Your brain will not accept this reality, at least for now.
Pre contemplation of climbing: You’ve wallowed in sadness and despair, you have weeped and cried and all along your ex has been making progress up their ladder, they’ve been doing this before they even broke up with you. For the first time, you look up, you’ve accepted that you need to start climbing and you can’t isolate yourself any longer. However, as your eyes align with the summit, a small figure can be seen on the other ladder, they seem so far away yet you can see them so clearly. You can see them clearly progressing so much quicker than you, they seem happier and to you, this all seems unbelievably unfair. You start to question, how could they leave me here? In this pit all alone, how could someone who said they cared about me just allow me to be here without trying to help? The first emotion you experience? Anger. More anger than you’ve experienced in your life. You can’t fathom why someone would do this to you, so what do you do?
Climbing the ladder (poorly): You race up the ladder, the best way to get over them, would be to catch up to where they are on the ladder quickly, right? I mean, they can’t hurt you if youre in the same position as them. Well, not exactly. You’ll do everything in your power to get up the ladder as fast as humanly possible, you’ll go out and party, you’ll get with other people, you’ll just generally be reckless and its reflected in the way your climbing the ladder. The entire time your climbing, you’re not even looking at each step on the ladder, you’re looking directly at your ex, youre hyper fixated on them. Some days you shoot miles up the ladder, then stump yourself by trying to shout at your ex when you get close to them, your hand slips and you fall back to where you started that day. You’re beginning to lose focus of what matters, you’re putting too much focus on your ex’s progress because you believe if you catch up to them they wont hurt you anymore. They will always hurt you if you’re on the ladder, even if you’re ahead of them. This is an incredibly confusing time, you think to yourself that you should be making progress, when in reality, you’re almost back to the start. The inconsistency is eating away at you, you begin to realise that your new life of empty fulfilment isn’t actually helping you, so what do you do?
Taking time to reflect: You step away from the ladder one day to reconsider your approach. You begin to realise that hating them will get you nowhere, focusing on your own ladder and taking your time with each step will allow you to progress in a way that doesn’t hurt you or cause you to fall. If you haven’t been doing no contact to this point, this is normally where absolute no contact would begin. Behind you in the pit, your memories with them flash up, you look at them one last time and smile knowing the amazing experience you shared with this special person, you turn around, knowing that at one point, you were deeply in love and so were they. Never ever doubt if they were in love with you or not, they wouldn’t have stuck around if they weren’t, they will also always hold some form of love for you, even if it isn’t romantic, you were special to them, just like they were to you. You realise that if they can make it that far up the ladder, so can you. It was tough for them too, they made similar mistakes to you and also fell, but they went through this process, they reflected and they started to climb too. So what do you do?
Climbing the ladder (the correct way): You decide that when climbing the ladder, you’re not going to look up anymore, you’re going to look at every step and you’re going to climb each and every single step one at a time. You’re focused, you’re determined and you’re ready to progress. You take time to reconnect with the things you loved, giving you an extra boost up the ladder. You take time to reconnect with old friends who you may have neglected during the relationship, whilst also forming new connections with new people, giving you an extra boost up the ladder. You do things that fulfil you and make you genuinely proud of yourself boosting your confidence and giving you an extra boost up the ladder. Before you know it, you’re at the summit. You did it! You didn’t even know you were close to the summit, but now, you just get to walk forward on the new path you’ve found to follow. Whether your ex is there on that path or not, you don’t mind, you know that the path your on will lead you somewhere great and you will hope that their path leads them to somewhere similar.
Moving on is never easy, if it was, Taylor Swift wouldn’t be a successful musician, but understanding the fundamentals of moving on and knowing that making mistakes is okay is what leads to true change, true growth and true happiness. If you read all this, thank you! I’m currently going through a break up and writing this has allowed me to remember what helped me move forward in other break ups. The concept of the ladder is simple, I feel as though you can apply many situations to it to somewhat showcase how much progression is being made by you and how your behaviour is affecting your progress. Also just as a side note, if you’re one of the people who want your ex back, just remember that you can’t get them back if you’re on the ladder, you simply cannot reach them whilst you’re on it. If you’re ever going to get them back, they’ll be there waiting at your path on the summit.