A bachelor's degree in Psychology while interesting, only realistically provides you with 2 types of jobs.

• Human resources/sales office jobs/data analyst - people/data corporate jobs
• Special Needs CenteTherapist Assistant - Mental Health field

I will be talking about the second because of the broken system right now. In order for you to be certified as a therapist officially with a license, you need a Master's degree in that particular field. So if you want to be a child psychologist, clinical psychologist, or counselor, a bachelor degree is not enough. You might get a job that is titled ABA Therapist for a special needs center but ultimately, what you are doing is babysitting special needs children for an EXTREME underpaid salary. You won't be a certified therapist and can't diagnose children. You would think the salary would be at least above average given the field is somewhat related to health but no. It is on average RM2.5K and BELOW. (Some are 1.7K). There are several reasons for this.

1. There is no proper training or seminar in Malaysia to help you understand better on how to help these children. The centers usually only give guidance for a bit and leave you on your own.
2. Your job is to come up with tasks that YOU think could work rather than following some form of proven methods.
3. You are handling the kids like a caretakebabysitter. Changing diapers, potty training, etc. If you are unlucky you might even have to become a driver to go to different houses to do sessions.
4. The amount the parent pays for one month of class is unjustifiably expensive to the point of covering 2 employees' one-month salary combined. You are severely underpaid for the amount of physical work that is involved. MAJORITY of your job can be done by SPM holders. You are just a glorified babysitter who have to write a report every weekend. Some centers, do hire SPM holders.

Yes, if you are very passionate about Psychology and love children, this seems like a perfect job. But, in Kuala Lumpur, with less than 2.5K salary per month, some go as low as 1.7K for fresh graduates, and it is impossible to survive. There is also a career growth limit as mentioned before, you can't go anywhere without a Master's degree in this field. That is 40K extra you have to pay and 2 years to study. You won't be able to get salary increments because of how the structure works, you will forever be the "therapist" in the center earning less than 2.5k. I know some of my friends who worked for less than 2k when they went full-time.
My advice. DO NOT pursue the Psychology field if you are poor. Your love for children or mental health studies is great, but it will not cover your expenses and certainly will not help you survive in Kuala Lumpur. And if you have a Psychology degree and changed your mind, go for HR or data analyst jobs that pay 3k above and still utilize skills you learned from your degree. Or pursue a Master's and don't waste time in these centers.

Well i've already been typed as infp 6w7 but I've recently been pondering whether it's really something that fits me so I wanted to get other people's opinions on my typing.
• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
— I'm 19 years old and identify as non-binary (he/they pronouns). I am extremely extra, I am eccentric, I love alternative styles, I love arts in all its forms, I am extremely sentimental, I can be considered strange to many, I talk too much, I seem extroverted around introverts and I seem introverted around other extroverts, I get tired easily in social situations, so I always prefer to talk more via cell phone or computer. I'm very extreme and I can end up feeling very angry, very happy or very sad out of nowhere, I usually try to be kind but I can be rude or insensitive if I'm very angry, I'm a person who really likes to fight for causes aimed at minorities since I'm from several minority groups, I hate injustice, I'm very stubborn and I don't like being contradicted while I always try to be someone who takes various arguments into account.
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
— I'm autistic, adhd, i have gad (generalized anxiety disorder) and i might also have depression.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
— I grew up in a Christian family, which hurt me a lot when I got older since my family's religion is against my existence as a queer person, and it took them a long time to admit that I needed psychological help and things like that. It's difficult to leave my roots but in the end I ended up stopping believing in my parents' religion after everything I went through.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
— I'm studying animation design at college, it's one of my passions and I really enjoy learning about the topics, I just hate the structure of taking exams and tests.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
— I would feel crazy, insane. I need the company of some people close to me to regulate myself and talk about things I like, being alone makes me feel empty and strange. So yeah i would feel lonely.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
— I'm terrible at sports and I hate them, my motor coordination is horrible. I prefer indoor activities because there is less chance of me overloading myself with something (example: feeling unwell because of the sun, heat, etc.)
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
— I'm very curious, I love discovering new things, I have a lot of ideas at terrible times (in the middle of the night) and I really end up getting disorganized with the amount of things I think about. My ideas and curiosity are generally focused on creative processes like creating characters, universes, stories, but it can also simply be focused on a topic of interest to me (hyperfocuses / special interests). These are things that end up being more of a concept because I'm terrible at executing my ideas.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
— I don't like being the leader of projects and things like that for the simple fact that I'm not good at handling responsibilities, so I prefer to just execute some order, my problem is that I also really like doing things MY way so it's a bit contradictory. However, in the moments when I have had to be a leader (I was forced to since my colleagues didn't want to do anything) I haven't been a bad leader, I research the project topics and let people choose their topics to present.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
— I'm not good at being organized or at things that involve motor coordination. For example, it took me decades to be able to tie my shoe laces, know which direction is right or left and I keep forgetting important dates. I don't like using my hands to do activities because they shake a lot and so I'm always horrible at things that involve using my hands. The only things I think I'm good at are playing games and drawing, and even then, drawing is an extreme challenge since I always put a lot of pressure on the pencil when I'm drawing or writing.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
— Yes, art is something that I have loved since I was young because of the fact that I can express my creativity, ideas and feelings. I've always been passionate about cartoons so my drawing style is very cartoony. I really like seeing fanart from media that I love, but I also love seeing old paintings, especially from Roman and Greek times. I not only like drawing and painting, but I also love art in general. I love cinema, theater, books, sculptures, etc. One day I want to know how to write very well and be able to make books or even draw well enough to be able to make a cartoon. I want to be able to share the comfort I experience by seeing art that makes me feel happy and represented by doing something that also makes people happy through my art.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
— I have some regrets from the past, but in general I was more "normal" and happy back then, I wouldn't change anything because I follow the idea that my mistakes and successes made me who I am today. As for my present, I try to make the most of it but I'm not going to lie that I'm not a big fan of my current state, I feel a bit useless and very behind compared to most people I know my age so I end up preferring to think more about the future and how things will get better later. At the same time that I really appreciate some current moments of my present, like being able to play with my girlfriend most days, this makes me very happy.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
— I like helping people, sometimes I even try to help people who didn't ask for my help if they are people I really like (I may end up being seen as inconvenient because of this). I always want to be able to help everyone, but currently because of my mood I may end up not being very helpful as my mental health is not the best, even so, I always try to be very patient and friendly with people who are going through difficult times, even when sometimes I just want to be left alone and I'm not in the mood to help anyone, especially because I know what it's like to be in a bad place and i don't want people to feel rejected.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
— I'm very sentimental and I often don't think very logically BUT in arguments and other serious situations I need people to use logic and proven arguments just like i do in those situations so that the debate or serious situation isn't just a bunch of nonsense. I am a sentimental person, but to develop some thought, I need logical arguments
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
— In general, I think it's very important, but I personally can't be productive and efficient since I have a lot of executive dysfunction. I KNOW it's important but I can't be like that.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
— I like things to be my way but I don't really think I control people? I always impose my opinions a lot but I don't really control people.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
— I like games, reading books, role-playing, drawing and even trying to write books. I really like fantasy things. It seems more fun than my reality and I like to distract myself from real life things.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
— I like learning things when they involve what I like or at least are more interactive and I hate math, chemistry and physics btw. I have a lot of difficulty with classes in subjects that require a lot of memorization, I prefer things that are relative and interpretative like arts and literature and I really like classes that involve creativity. I also hate classes where the teacher just talks and talks and talks and doesn't do anything interactive and fun. I generally prefer to study at home for very short periods of time because I learn easier alone and study very briefly because I have difficulty studying for long periods of time.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
— I'm terrible at planning things, I usually do things at the last minute and I improvise a lot.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
— I think I get a lot of inspiration from artists I like, such as Rebecca Sugar, Tyler Joseph and others. They are very creative people who do things that I really like (I love Steven Universe, which Rebecca Sugar created, and I love Twenty One Pilots, which is the band where Tyler Joseph is the lead singer).
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
— My biggest fears are being alone, because it's scary not having anyone who understands you and who supports you and loves you, and being a burden to the people I love, because I don't want to be an extremely dependent and useless person and disappoint the people I love.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
— These are the days when I feel excited to do things and I can be productive doing everything I need in my routine as well as doing my hobbies and being able to relax.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
— These are the days when I feel sad, empty and discouraged, I can't do my routine tasks and I force myself to do them anyway in an extremely bad mood, my hobbies may even distract me on those days but it will be a strange feeling as if I'm not really excited to do what I like and I'm just distracting myself from my problems.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
— Ah, I don't have much attachment to reality and I prefer fantasy things, I constantly get caught up in my own thoughts and I prefer to create happy fantasy situations so I don't deal with my real problems. I'm also pretty distracted in general so regardless of whether I'm fantasizing or not I end up missing a lot of details and dissociating
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
— I would probably try to distract myself by thinking about things I like or talking to myself, depending on if the day was bad I would eventually end up thinking a lot about my personal problems and becoming depressed.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
— I'm very slow and indecisive when it comes to choosing things, I always want to gather as much information about each option in my mind or by researching on the internet about it and then I always end up between multiple options and changing my mind several times until I arrive at a concrete result.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
— Some of my emotions may be processed much later than they should have been processed or simply be different from what people usually have. For example, I'm not very good at dealing with grief and I end up not showing the sadness that my other relatives do, but generally I feel my emotions in a very extreme and volatile way. I feel happy for very silly things and when I'm happy I'm VERY HAPPY and I get sad very easily and when I get sad I get VERY SAD.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
— Yes. I really like demonstrating my opinions and being authentic, it's a very important thing for me, but even so, I sometimes end up just remaining silent or agreeing with something that I don't really agree with because I'm too afraid of being hated and I generally want everyone to like me, even people I'm not very close to. However, I can also be a person with very strong opinions and be very stubborn about what I believe in if it is something linked to social issues or linked to things that I REALLY like.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
— I break rules that I believe don't make sense, if it's something that I think makes sense I'll follow that rule, but if it's stupid and I don't understand why I have to follow it I'll probably break the rule. I've also never been a person who understands authorities, for me anyone has the right to question something if it's not a useful or logical rule. I agree that rules are important but that they can be adapted, eliminated and added if necessary for people.

Hi y’all,
Wanted to share this insight (in the hopes also the folks at CZM see it) about the effects of neglect on childhood development, and that Schraber may not have been schizophrenic at all. I say this having not read anything further and just from listening to the podcast so I may be missing crucial information.
When children are physically neglected their brains develop differently. Often times the child creates a rich inner world to compensate for reality. The distinction between young children (under 5) and adolescents or adults experiencing trauma is that young children have more vibrant and real feeling imaginations (for example, my teddy bear has the same emotions I do so must care for him). This can lead children to develop a dissociative identity disorder. This diagnosis has gotten blown up by TikTok unfortunately. In reality, that will typically mean the child becomes an adult whose inner world is more “real” than the outer world. This happens out of necessity, so they can cope with how terrifying real life is. They will often blame themselves or fictional others for their suffering, rather than the parent. For a parent to be “bad”=death in a developing mind. So all these other fantasies and/or self blame step in to compensate.
For further context, I’m a trauma therapist and have had a rare few clients who have developed in this way and it’s because of physical, emotional neglect and torture. They get screened for schizophrenia/bipolar spectrum and do not meet the criteria. Further, it was typical to call pretty much any mental illness schizophrenia up until maybe the 70s or 80s (don’t have the exact dates in my brain). So it’s good to be skeptical when you hear that diagnosis historically. I’m sure Robert is aware of that, but maybe not this other facet of how specific kinds of trauma affect brain development.
I also share this to highlight the significance of neglect. It’s now more commonly understood in trauma therapy that physical and emotional neglect can have the absolute worst effects on children. It’s understandable that people gravitate to CSA as the worst (because it’s disgusting and horrible obviously) but kids who experience that kind of trauma (if not combined with torture and neglect) have better outcomes as adults than kids who were never touched lovingly as children. That distinction is only to highlight how we really need to give one million shits about poverty first and foremost. And that’s not blame for parents, rather if parents aren’t able to care for and nurture their children they will have worse outcomes as adults. It also makes these back to back series about horrible childcare so fascinating, and to consider what neglect does to a society at large.
Anyways, thought you all might find that interesting or useful. Not a cool brag but I can handle CSA content but when I hear about babies and very young kids being left in the cold it makes me feel like I’m about to pass out because I know what’s happening in their poor brains (example of this: You’re Wrong About ep on crack babies, I feel nauseous thinking about it still).
Would love to hear thoughts from my fellow clinical psychologists!

Hello everyone. I'd like to suggest a concept of a new hero that could be added to the game.
Presenting,
Corvus, the Saboteur
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Abilities:
Passive: Strong Arm
Every 10-6 seconds (goes down with higher hero level), the Saboteur acquires a brick, up to 3 bricks. While having a brick equipped, the Saboteur's attack range expands to 5 yards, and the Saboteur attacks by throwing the brick at a target, stunning them for 20 seconds (1 second for Heroes and Hero units).
Due to extended experimentation, the Saboteur cannot gain Physical Attack from items, emblems and skin effects.
Innate Skill: Adaptive Loadout
The Saboteur can change his loadout at the base. This ability has no cooldown.
Different loadouts affect the Saboteur's active skills.
Default loadout: Holy Hand Grenade, Proximity Cloud
Depending on the Saboteur's loadout, the positions of the skills may change.
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Holy Hand Grenade: (Default 1st Skill) Mana Cost: 250 - 50 Cooldown: 30 - 24 AoE: 1.5 yards - 4.5 yards
Throws a grenade blessed by the Church of the Light, which damages enemies by 200 - 350 (+ 400% Extra Magic Defense) Magic Damage and stuns them for 1.5 - 2.5 seconds. Enemies affected by Strong Arm while stunned will be stunned for an additional 3 seconds.
If no enemies are hit, the active cooldown of this ability is reduced by 50%.
Allies affected by this grenade receive an additional 20% of their Max Mana (20 Energy if using energy).
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Proximity Cloud: (Default 2nd Skill) Mana Cost: 300 - 40 Cooldown: 50 - 30 AoE: 2.8 yards
Plants a proximity device that will release a cloud of angelic dust when triggered. Planting the device takes up to 6-5 seconds (goes down with level). Only 3 proximity devices can be planted at any time, but they last indefinitely.
Enemies within 1.2 yards of the proximity device will trigger the release of angelic dust, causing all of their attacks to miss and silencing them. This cloud of dust lasts 10 seconds. The debuff also affects allies.
After activation, proximity devices will be deactivated for 30 seconds before rearming. During this time, it will not respond to nearby enemies.
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Divine Providence: (Loadout) Mana Cost: 300 - 60 Cooldown: 60 - 50 AoE: 4 yards
Heals allies in an AoE for 300 - 800 (+ 500% Total Magic Defense) hitpoints over 5 seconds. Also dispels most negative debuffs (excluding high level control effects, such as Morph, Petrify, Suppression, Freeze, etc.).
Enemies affected by Divine Providence are stunned for 0.2 seconds and slowed by 50% for 2.2 seconds.
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Lens of True Sight: (Loadout) Mana Cost: 250 - 40 Cooldown: 35 - 20
Provides a large cone of vision up to 16 yards away, revealing hidden enemies (excluding a Concealed Natalia and Camouflaged Lesley). This cone of vision lasts 6-8 seconds.
Allies within the cone of vision will have the remaining cooldowns of their abilities accelerated by 2 (e.g. 10 seconds before LTS => 5 seconds under LTS). The effect immediately goes away when allies are no longer within the cone of vision.
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Call of the Spider-Eyed Lamb: (Loadout) Mana Cost: 0 Cooldown: 60 - 30
Bear witness to the words.
After seeing and hearing the words, the Saboteur is placed in a trance, removing control from the user while forcing the Saboteur to attack nearby enemy units in a fit of frenzy. Grants 100% (+ 20% Total Physical Defense) (+ 20% Total Magic Defense)% bonus Attack Speed, 50% (+ 10% Total Physical Defense) (+ 10% Total Magic Defense)% bonus Movement Speed, (300% Total Physical Defense) bonus attack damage for 5 seconds, but the Saboteur cannot land critical hits.
While in the trance, the Saboteur gains 25% Damage Reduction and 100 - 300 (+ 75% Extra Physical Defense) (+ 75% Extra Magic Defense) when damaged. The shield lasts until the Saboteur snaps out of the trance or dies.
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Ultimate: Tool Recharger Starting Charge: 1 Max Charges: 3 Cooldown: 1 Recharge Duration: 40 - 30 Affected by CD Reduction: Yes
Refreshes the cooldown of the 1st and 2nd Skill.
Fleeting Time reduces the remaining recharge duration instead of the actual cooldown.

Wireless Mobile Internet Options in Tenerife: A Comprehensive Guide
Tenerife, the largest island in the Canary Islands archipelago, is a hotspot for millions of tourists annually. In today's digital age, staying connected while vacationing is crucial, whether it's for work, leisure, or simply staying informed. Here's a summary of the main wireless mobile internet options available in Tenerife to help you choose the best one for your needs:
📲SIM Cards in Tenerife:

• Nano-SIM or micro-SIM cards from major providers like Orange, Vodafone, and Movistar offer reliable internet access.
  
• Movistar boasts the widest network coverage on the island, making it a great choice for travelers seeking dependable connectivity.
  
• Vodafone offers competitive plans with ample data and unlimited national calls, ideal for digital nomads and frequent callers.
  
• Orange's "Mundo" SIM provides affordable options, perfect for tourists on family vacations.
  

✅Tenerife eSIM Option by Yesim:

• Yesim's eSIM offers the convenience of digital SIM cards, allowing easy access to mobile internet without the hassle of physical cards.
  
• With various plans tailored to travelers' needs, including 7, 15, and 30-day options, Yesim ensures seamless connectivity throughout your stay.
  
• Enjoy benefits like global coverage, swift local connections, budget-friendly tariffs, and environmental sustainability with Yesim's eSIM.
  

🤝🏼How to Buy an eSIM from Yesim:

• Verify device compatibility and visit Yesim's website.
  
• Choose your preferred data plan and create or access your account.
  
• Purchase the eSIM package and receive a QR code for activation.
  
• Scan the QR code on your device and follow the on-screen instructions for eSIM activation.
  

🛜Data Roaming Options for Tenerife:

• While roaming offers convenience, it comes with drawbacks such as high costs, limited data, and varying conditions in different countries.
  
• An eSIM can be a cost-effective alternative to roaming, providing consistent rates and eliminating excessive fees.
  

✔️Pocket Wi-Fi:

• Pocket Wi-Fi routers offer portable internet access by converting mobile signals into Wi-Fi networks.
  
• Ideal for travelers with multiple devices, pocket Wi-Fi ensures connectivity wherever there's mobile network coverage.
  

😍Free Wi-Fi:

• Many cafes, restaurants, shopping complexes, hotels, and public spaces in Tenerife offer free Wi-Fi.
  
• While convenient, free Wi-Fi may have limitations such as low speeds, unstable connections, and security risks.
  

✈️Benefits of eSIM:

• Ease of use, competitive costs, unlimited data, global availability, and environmental sustainability make eSIM a preferred choice for travelers.

Whether you opt for a traditional SIM card, embrace the convenience of eSIM, or explore other wireless options, staying connected in Tenerife has never been easier. Choose the option that suits your needs and enjoy seamless internet access during your visit to this picturesque island paradise 🧡.

Wireless Mobile Internet Options in Tenerife: A Comprehensive Guide
Tenerife, the largest island in the Canary Islands archipelago, is a hotspot for millions of tourists annually. In today's digital age, staying connected while vacationing is crucial, whether it's for work, leisure, or simply staying informed. Here's a summary of the main wireless mobile internet options available in Tenerife to help you choose the best one for your needs:
📲SIM Cards in Tenerife:

• Nano-SIM or micro-SIM cards from major providers like Orange, Vodafone, and Movistar offer reliable internet access.
  
• Movistar boasts the widest network coverage on the island, making it a great choice for travelers seeking dependable connectivity.
  
• Vodafone offers competitive plans with ample data and unlimited national calls, ideal for digital nomads and frequent callers.
  
• Orange's "Mundo" SIM provides affordable options, perfect for tourists on family vacations.
  

✅Tenerife eSIM Option by Yesim:

• Yesim's eSIM offers the convenience of digital SIM cards, allowing easy access to mobile internet without the hassle of physical cards.
  
• With various plans tailored to travelers' needs, including 7, 15, and 30-day options, Yesim ensures seamless connectivity throughout your stay.
  
• Enjoy benefits like global coverage, swift local connections, budget-friendly tariffs, and environmental sustainability with Yesim's eSIM.
  

🤝🏼How to Buy an eSIM from Yesim:

• Verify device compatibility and visit Yesim's website.
  
• Choose your preferred data plan and create or access your account.
  
• Purchase the eSIM package and receive a QR code for activation.
  
• Scan the QR code on your device and follow the on-screen instructions for eSIM activation.
  

🛜Data Roaming Options for Tenerife:

• While roaming offers convenience, it comes with drawbacks such as high costs, limited data, and varying conditions in different countries.
  
• An eSIM can be a cost-effective alternative to roaming, providing consistent rates and eliminating excessive fees.
  

✔️Pocket Wi-Fi:

• Pocket Wi-Fi routers offer portable internet access by converting mobile signals into Wi-Fi networks.
  
• Ideal for travelers with multiple devices, pocket Wi-Fi ensures connectivity wherever there's mobile network coverage.
  

😍Free Wi-Fi:

• Many cafes, restaurants, shopping complexes, hotels, and public spaces in Tenerife offer free Wi-Fi.
  
• While convenient, free Wi-Fi may have limitations such as low speeds, unstable connections, and security risks.
  

✈️Benefits of eSIM:

• Ease of use, competitive costs, unlimited data, global availability, and environmental sustainability make eSIM a preferred choice for travelers.

Whether you opt for a traditional SIM card, embrace the convenience of eSIM, or explore other wireless options, staying connected in Tenerife has never been easier. Choose the option that suits your needs and enjoy seamless internet access during your visit to this picturesque island paradise 🧡.

I am taking a leaf out of u/Molehill_Mountains book and starting a sort of diary/journal format to accompany the journey I'm about to go on. I'm unsure if this will be any help to anyone, I don't mind just talking into the void, but I feel like it will work well for me in terms of progress and accountability.
First of all, I'm a 34F from Scotland. I'm 5ft 4 inches and my current (starting) weight is 289.3lbs, with a BMI of 49. Let me tell you it was a shock when I converted lbs to stone and seen that that's 20.6 stone. I have never, ever been this heavy. I've always been a larger girl but this is out of control. I was already planning on starting a diet this week (I've just come back from 2 weeks in Spain and wanted to 'go out with a bang' so to speak!) and had been contemplating Mounjaro, but once I saw the numbers I got the fright of my life and decided to bite the bullet.
So this is technically week 0 - I haven't took the first dose of Mounjaro yet, but I do have it in the fridge waiting for me to start on Friday after work.
I'm choosing Friday afternoon because, in the first instance, the weekends are when I tend to snack and over indulge far too much while sitting at home, so I'd like the effects to be strongest over the weekend. But also, if I have any side effects, I'd rather be at home than sitting in work.
My partner is also starting this journey alongside me. He's very unhappy with his weight. I wont go into his stats here because those are his private details and not mine to share, but he weighs slightly less than me, but not by much. I'm hoping that by doing it together, we will be even more likely to succeed.
We are getting married next October and both wanted to lose weight for that, but I don't think either of us realised just how dire the situation is.
Our weight is definitely affecting our relationship. Not in a 'we're rocky' way, no no, we're definitely a very strong, loving couple. But both of us are, quite frankly, disgusted by our own bodies, which really knocks the confidence, which means neither of us really want to be intimate or display any physical affection for each other, not from lack of love, just from being so self-conscious about our own bodies.
We were both on Ozempic before and it definitely did curb hunger... for about a week. After that it felt like it wasn't really doing anything at all, for either of us. We were only on it for about 6 weeks, and as soon as we hit one week of not being able to get it due to stock shortages, we just... stopped using it and ballooned back up. I lost about 6lbs on Ozempic and my partner was about 8lbs but it came straight back, and then some.
So I'm going into this cautiously optimistic. I have a 'It's going to work this time' mentality and I've already started my diet this week. I'm also considering intermittent fasting, but I think I will broach that after a few weeks being on Mounjaro so I can see how it affects me.
I've read the 'first time' tips and things on here, but I'm happy to hear anything else anyone might think will be helpful. :)

I've been through the docs, but I'm not quite seeing how I can fully turn off transparency.
To be clear on why I want to do this, I'm making a 3D platformer in a block-based environment. My early draft for the material for those blocks was slightly transparent, which was physically accurate and works fine on my desktop; but the effect is quickly lost when they're stacked and I don't like the idea of unnecessary overdraw.
The material now uses a text shader directly. I understand that `blend_mix` is the default, and the documentation doesn't directly say anything about any kind of `blend_off` render mode. My alpha is always 1.0 now. Is it already truly opaque with no unnecessary checks, or is there a different setting I can add? I want this game to be playable on the widest range of hardware possible, so if it's still doing the alpha check but using 1.0 each time, it isn't ideal.
To be clear, depth check is good, but transparency overlay bad. I'm not sure if I'm burning calculations on it or not.
Here's my render mode line:
render_mode blend_mix,depth_draw_always,cull_back,diffuse_burley,specular_schlick_ggx;
Removing `blend_mix` gives me the same behavior, but if it's the default then that's probably why. I'm just not sure what it's doing here.

Humility is defined as: a modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness.
Being humble, according to Verywell Mind, research suggests that this type of mindset can lead to mental and physical health benefits, including:

• greater feelings of satisfaction in life due to being content with the way things are.
  
• Less anxiety and depression: Humble people tend to experience less anxiety and depression because they aren't constantly looking for that extra validation from their peers.
  
• Better stress management: Humble people tend to handle stress more effectively.
  
• Improved relationships: Humble people are less likely to be defensive or take criticism personally, making them more approachable and easier to work with.
  
• Increased empathy: Humble people can put themselves in others' shoes and understand their emotions and perspectives.
  
• Better work performance, higher self-control, more helpful, and more acceptance of failures.
  

In conclusion, humility is also closely linked to emotional intelligence, which involves recognizing and managing one's emotions and understanding the emotions of others.
https://www.google.com/search?q=emotional+benefits+of+staying+humble&client=ms-android-att-us-revc&sca_esv=9384466e02e87e88&sxsrf=ADLYWIITT_GIKhmMrd6xBhKa94TGgFRjQw%3A1716308985276&ei=-ctMZsu8EK77wbkPhYiIwAM&udm=&oq=emotional+benefits+of+staying+humble&gs_lp=EhNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwIiRlbW90aW9uYWwgYmVuZWZpdHMgb2Ygc3RheWluZyBodW1ibGUyChAAGLADGNYEGEcyChAAGLADGNYEGEcyChAAGLADGNYEGEcyChAAGLADGNYEGEcyChAAGLADGNYEGEcyChAAGLADGNYEGEcyChAAGLADGNYEGEcyChAAGLADGNYEGEdIqidQgBpYhB1wAngBkAEAmAGMAaAB5wGqAQMxLjG4AQPIAQD4AQGYAgSgApACwgIEECMYJ8ICBRAhGKABwgIFECEYnwWYAwDiAwUSATEgQIgGAZAGCJIHAzIuMqAHow8&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp

What was once the pride and beating heart of Nagorow now reduced to desolate landscape, with the ancient structure barely stands from the impact. Whatever artillery piece was that, I hope I never encounter it again, added with gov'ness telling me to get away from here as quick as possible.
Easy for her to say, when I am carrying her whole weight while she stares at the sky. My suspender was doing well in supporting the binds of her to me, the movement helps little in giving me hopes that my skill with ropes was sufficient, and though my chest began to cool, my back is sweating from the skin contact with her.
My watch barely works anymore, it ticks in place, wasting the battery inside, but the sound it made kept me company when gov'ness herself seems awfully silent from when I met her first. The silent of the woods and the encroaching night force us to rest and made fire, some more challenge.
The gov'ness brows draw her emotion well, as she sees me easily ignites a fire with nothing but Rylanor's knife, leaf, and the head of my belt.
"I apologize if there are no food to be made, gov'ness" I sat and watch the woods, making sure that I am not looking at her indecency.
"There's no need, Musa" her stammers indicate something, but I do not dare to look "you were- you were efficient, to say the least"
I must be doing a poor job up until now, it seems, no reason to argue with the higher-ups, sergeant taught me that.
"That's not to say you were insufficient, I admire how-" does commander of legions that conquered the stars rarely say gratitude? Lucius' reason for jealousy was understandable then "I admire how you took the task at hand and done appropriately, if not better"
"Gov'ness you may rest, I trust you won't wander the woods alone" idle chat with nobility that never saw their underling will grind my head, if kept going, and so I stand and enter the woods, with a torch, to forage the forest's bed
"Of course" her tone shift to something akin to a disappointed child, but I didn't look back.
When you live your entire childhood in strict community, you'd eventually improvise on the go, especially when your family is a cook, the duty in making rations for my village naturally falls into our hands. Those experience taught you what plants was edible and so are mushrooms. And those very experience brought me back to camp with a handful of fruits, as many as one arm and a pair of pockets may allow. I made sure to walk backwards when I reach nearer to the camp.
"I brought food, gov'ness" I roll a round fruit across the camp, hoping the sound of the impact was made by her "we could make a bait for hunting with this" I do not know the merit in telling her I brought mushroom.
Silence greet me, and for a moment I thought she already slept, but the quiet was almost unnatural.
"Gov'ness?" I called, and when that didn't work, I finally brave myself to look at her place. What I thought to be her resting in place, was betrayed the moment I found dragged dirt heading to the woods "Gov'ness!" Rylanor's knife was already in hand as I stand.
And yet I stopped just a foot from the fire, something is weighing me down and it wasn't bounding me physically. Rather, my own mind betrays me, by shackling my feet in place, trying to tell me something, in which I have no choice but to listen.
What's the point of this? Nagorow and the Sejm are no more, the war is no more, and gov'ness' people will eventually came here and enslave us, brought us into compliance as they sent us across the star to die by the hand of monster beyond our imagining. She indirectly killed Maria, she indirectly caused the capital to be blown by that artillery, and now she's running away even when I tried to help her.
Goodness me, I am beyond an idiot. I accept the fact that I am an idiot, my face instinctively being wrapped by my palms as I dropped the knife, instead gripping tightly at my hair, trying to blot out any of these strange feelings with pain. Was it loneliness? Grief? Confusion and rage? A breaking point in insanity? To suffer all my life and finally seeing the end of it?
And before I even noticed, I already knelt on the ground, hands still gripping my hair as I fought the needs to scream, producing pathetic squeals akin to a dying animal. I want it to end, being forced to fight in a war where I would find no benefit, threats of death but never dying. It was a miracle I even managed to refocus back at the capital, after seeing the carnage, but now it would take more than that to distract me from this.
A loud growl of a beast in the woods knock senses into me, and once again my mind betrays me as it quickly pull the knife close to my chest, even when not a moment ago it thought that being dead would finally be relieving. The roar gets higher in tone, meaning its fighting another beast of its own so deep in the night, even deeper in the woods. Moving from the spot could be beneficial if I want to avoid it, and there's nothing holding me back anymore. Not when a familiar voice of a certain commander that her companion calls mother, suddenly rang between the roar.
Not thinking any longer, I quickly grab the torch and run my way to the voice, the cold of night be damned. Does my mind betrays me once again? Not this time, now it is my conscious choice that I made, even knowing that the result would be pointless. If anything, she's the only one I got left.
When the sound of the fighting was near, I can see the gov'ness wrestling a furry beast, and losing quite the blood. The beast throws her to the nearest tree it can swing, before swiping their hands trying to get past her defensive hands. Now or never, then.
My feet ran first, lunging so high that I was able to hook my arm to the neck of the beast, intending to distract it from gov'ness. The beast retaliate, hooking their short yet powerful paws into my left shoulder, the claws piercing my skin and flesh, before throwing me to the tree. And yet I didn't give in, and with a kick, I already ran to the beast, knife in hand as I made body contact with it, plunging my knife between the thick fur and even thicker skin. I knocked some wind out from the beast when we made contact, causing it to stagger, which I used as I wildly stab across its body.
That end when with one swipe from its arm, I was thrown like a doll back to the ground, my knife finally escaped my hand. The beast didn't hesitate to use the advantage as it jump to my position, intending to flatten me out, when I barely escaped it when I pull a root of a tree and slide on the wet ground. Doing so left me with no more escape, as the beast simply stands and gaze over me, with primal hate and anger. If this is to be the end, then good riddance it finally came.
As the beast prepares to flatten me yet again, something crawls on its back, causing it to roar in pain. Strands of silver hair juts out occasionally behind the beast's back as it assuredly went for the neck of the beast. The face of gov'ness, even tattered and ridden with mud, is still as majestic when I first saw it. She finally reach the neck of the beast, efficiently slitting the throat, before another swing and the beast's head escaped its neck and went to her hands.
The beast rolled over, the final semblance of consciousness slowly slip away as it stiffen the muscle. I didn't even noticed gov'ness stumbling away from the beast, even without legs, she's able to wrestle an apex beast, naked, at night, and even killing it. No wonder she's trusted with a legion to conquer planets and stars, if she can do this unarmed, compared to me, I am a speck of harmless dust.
"Musa, you came?" she finally speaks, her hands grabbing the torch to light up the night "Musa, I- I can explain" she stammers as she watches me slowly stand and stumble across to her "truly, I have an explanation for this, and it was not base on selfish -"
I ignore everything and went to gently wrap her neck with my hands, the pain on my shoulder didn't stop me as I clung my weak and fragile form to her. My barely muscular body to her finely tuned body, hers heating over my increasingly cold body. After everything, she's the only thing I know, the only thing I respect, and its enough for me to cherish it before I could die. Fate was never kind anyway, its a good thing to finally spite it after so long.
"Let's get back to camp, gov'ness" I knew the futility in this, we could die here after wrestling a beast, or she could ran away yet again.
"But the beast! I hunted the beast so we could eat, something for the-"
"Gov'ness, please" I went to the tattered remains of my belt and makeshift rope, tying it to her so I could carry her "let's just return and rest"
"Of course, apologies" I didn't notice the way she's facing and I could care less in fixing it, her breath warming my neck along with her body with mine "I dearly apologize, Musa, truly I do" she wraps her arms to me, more heat for me as I stumble in my return to the camp, the lingering effects of adrenaline slowly depletes. I was lucky that the effects were gone once we finally made it to camp.
I collapse on the ground, tasting the wet soil as the cold night slowly consumes me, making me forgot to sat gov'ness down. I was useless and inefficient right to the very end, and I hope what I did was enough for everyone involved,

We take seats at a meeting table in the castle, Princess Jiakyn taking a seat first, then Seirialia, Tyrelia, Trenon, Lankensy and Kyrem, then the castle commanders who are quite surprised by presence of princess in their castle, and lastly Jakan and I take seats.
'Alright, explain then.' Lankensy says calmly to Princess Jiakyn. I wish I could have talked to Jakan about her before we sat down.
'Well, it took some persuasion for me to make the journey here. I am not going to just learn with theory, I need something to practice on and I have spell ideas that I want to try out.' Princess Jiakyn says calmly and in persuasive tone. Jakan and I looked into each others eyes for a moment, Jakan looks very concerned and, really wanted to say something but, chose to stay quiet.
'This is a war zone, and there is a good reason why there is a travel ban in this zone too.' Kyrem says straightly without hesitation.
'All the more reason for me to be here, the soldiers would need my presence, so that they know that their efforts will not be thrown away and that they will be remembered.' Princess Jiakyn states in honest tone.
'Do you really believe that you are ready to witness horrors of war?' Jakan asks calmly and interested to Princess' answer. For a moment she looked unsure and slightly insulted that Jakan was the one to ask the question, she looked at others present and even at me. She noticed that all of people here agree with Jakan's question.
'I do.' Princess Jiakyn says with slight hesitation.
'Bold answer, I know it is rude of me to question you, but, know this, I have already vowed that. It is either life, or death, that will carry on. I have seen those horrors myself, I have even fought and executed my own brother in arms. There are good reasons why the castle commanders and heroes of the riven war agreed with why I asked.' Jakan states, not entirely convinced but, willing to guide, guard, shelter, save and teach Princess Jiakyn, if the heroes of the riven war allow.
'How do you have such confidence in the words you have spoken? Ghaudunian.' Princess Jiakyn asks after glancing at all present here.
'As I am a Ghaudunian, I have good grasp of both active and passive effects of dark arcane on people. I have warred against undead before the war, I have seen the horrors, faced sorrowing defeats and lived through moments of triumph. Here, there is only death, life and struggle. One of the heroes of riven war, has met me before the war.' Jakan replies without hesitation and puts weight on his words.
'He was one of the groundskeepers of the Ghaudunian academy which I studied at. Draconian is a brave, stalwart and a dominant figure cast from metal and forged from war. Not many survived from the beginning, to the end of the war. When he speaks of facing undead, it is for your better that you listen.' Seirialia says with honesty.
'You have spoken well, draconian. Although, I have a feeling that my presence here is not exactly welcome.' Princess Jiakyn states to Jakan.
'Not only have we caused a diplomatic and political scandal, I do fear that the undead would make you a priority target to capture. These are not feral or dark arcane maddened undead we are facing, somebody is organizing this affair.' Jakan replies calmly and shows the maps. Princess asked for a confirmation from heroes of the riven war and castle commanders.
'Jakan speaks the truth, I personally witnessed his victory over a revenant champion. His sword is fine, as is his mind for war. Such a destructive figure of battle, are rare and continuing to survive. Surely one of the finest retainers of the shadowy ones.' Salgi states with respect.
'Not only is he strong but, also has knack for dueling. Tied with Lankensy before his victory in a mock duel. Ages like finest wine, princess. I know and understand your distrust towards the Ghaudunians but, in this matter. There are no nations.' Kyrem states with respect.
'What about you? You must be a junior agent.' Princess Jiakyn says heeding the words of to be her people, one day. She asks from me.
'I am indeed a junior agent, it is thanks to me that we know some specifics of who plausibly are behind this. Where my senior, is a cliff breaker, I am his eyes and ears, where he is not. I am new to the organization, but, our lords strongly believed that my skills would only benefit your nation's grand effort on solving this crisis, which is why I am here.' Speak out my purpose of being here to her.
Princess Jiakyn listened very carefully what I said. Closing her eyes to ponder, she nodded and opened her eyes again. That eye color has to be rare for people of Valerie, pink and yellow. Her physical stature, isn't ideal for war but, if she is at least one quarter of Seirialia's skill in arcane. She most certainly would make a difference.
'Alright. I will place my trust on both of you. I believe you are both here to help.' Princess Jiakyn says to me and Jakan. I feel mildly relieved, still, her presence here is double edged matter, I sense she is mildly overconfident but, worse is that she is untested. 'What are your plans for today?' Princess Jiakyn asks in her usual tone of, slightly confident and strong.
'We do need to escort the supply caravan to the town to the north and north west. Right now, we need mages that can heal wounds and work as secondary ranged units. Princess Jiakyn, may I request your presence at the town?' Lankensy asks, this would be both perfect opportunity to bolster morale of the citizens of the town but, also place a target on her back though... Lankensy looks into eyes of Jakan and I.
I think I understand his intentions, Jakan to act as part of the caravan guard and, maybe send me ahead to scout whether it is safe for the princess to enter... Smart man. Jakan ponders what Lankensy tried to indicate to him.
'From what I have heard, the town was in terrible danger previously, what has changed?' Princess Jiakyn asks mildly surprised of Lankensy's proposal.
Castle commanders brief Princess Jiakyn of the situation. Northern sectors of the castle to the town are pretty much back in control of Valerie. She smiles warmly of hearing these news. 'What about you heroes? What are you going to do while this is on going?' Princess Jiakyn asks.
'Kyrem, Tyrelia. Do you two think you can go with me to the town as escorts for the supply caravan?' Lankensy asks after thinking about the situation for a moment.
'This makes sense, we are going to need only good fighters just in case we get intercepted.' Kyrem says, Tyrelia nods in agreement.
'We are quite busy here already. The mages will provide a lot of help in healing these people, I need your assistance too, lady Seirialia.' Trenon says calmly.
'After seeing the slugging match yesterday, I agree with you, Trenon. The more we can help to recover sooner, the better.' Seirialia says, well, that's that for the plans of actually getting to know the heroes of the riven war better.
'What do you want us to do meanwhile then?' Jakan asks pondering how Lankensy is going to answer his question.
'I was planning on having you part of the security convoy and have Volarie check the town for anything suspicious.' Lankensy replies calmly.
'Hmm... Solid thinking. I wouldn't be able to avoid attention in a city. Are you okay with this plan? Princess Jiakyn.' Jakan says calmly.
Jiakyn thinks for a while. 'I do not have objections. When do we depart?' Princess Jiakyn asks somewhat excited to get started.
'It will take a while for the supplies required for the castle to be unloaded. No thoughts on what to do while it is on going...' Lankensy states thinking about the matter.
'How about getting to know each other then?' Princess Jiakyn proposes warmly and innocently. She has some ulterior motives that I can speculate but, no way I am voicing them here, I believe Jakan is thinking the same.
'Well, there isn't really anything else better to do.' Tyrelia says with content tone.
'All of the forces required for the convoy are being amassed as the time goes by anyway.' Kyrem says with a neutral tone, not being for or against the idea.
'A sound idea, I would like to get to know you better, Jakan. Warrior like you, along with the past you have had, must have quite tales to share.' Lankensy says, interested to talk with Jakan. I am guessing that he looks to learn, both history and combat from him.
Very easy to see from Jakan's expression that he is thinking about it. 'You have remained silent for the most of the talk, young agent. Is something bothering you?' Princess Jiakyn asks, warmly and calmly. I can see why people would feel warmly about her.
'At the moment, there aren't really any concerns. As the younger agent, I chose that, my senior agent handles most of the conversations with both of us present and back his words.' Reply to her calmly and partially choosing to elaborate the dynamic between me and Jakan.
'We do have the time since everything for today was already discussed yesterday. Princess, if I may be allowed to be direct with you. I would like to comment on your decision.' Jakan says calmly requesting an allowance to be open to her.
'You may say what is on your mind senior agent.' Princess Jiakyn replies calmly.
'I believe your heart is in the right place when you came here but, I fear for your safety of being here. As you already know, our most recent victory which has secured north east and north of the castle, has very likely escalated the conflict. I have strong suspicions that, once enemy agents in or outside of the castle find out of your presence here, you will be a high value target, which could swing this conflict into favor of our common enemy.' Jakan states humbly and professionally.
'I believe in my people to be wise to not choose such action, and that you agents. Will spare no effort in thwarting any action taken against me.' Princess Jiakyn replies confidently.
'It is just us two here, no more, no less. Princess, I believe I am stretching your willingness to hear those, once your opponents word's but, I plea that you will seek council of the heroes of the riven war when you are making decisions of where to apply yourself. Our combined presence most likely has already set the rumors running, which is my secondary concern.' Jakan says with consideration and caution.
'Your concerns are certainly reasonable, agent Jakan. Once the information of why you are here and involved with our war against the undead, such rumors should no longer be of concern. I will take your plea into consideration.' Princess Jiakyn says calmly, I quickly glance at Jakan, who is, not all that convinced but, fears overstepping his influence, so chooses to just nod deeply to Princess Jiakyn.
Castle commanders speak with Princess Jiakyn and after talking for a while. The private talk is over and we all go take our positions to be ready for the convoy's departure to the town. Lankensy and Jakan go to talk slightly further away from Princess Jiakyn, Kyrem and me.
She could be trying her luck on find out more about me than I am willing to share or about our organization. To my surprise, slightly to my own happiness. 'From what I have heard from my friends, your past was a rather ugly one, societally. I know some deeds of those whose name is Volarie.' Kyrem states to open the conversation.
'I remember reading about my name, how terrifying the weight of it is, certainly explained a lot of the treatment I received. What do you know?' Reply to him calmly, keeping my happiness hidden from him.
'A ghaudunian self learned rogue, who stole, murdered and misdirected Ghaudun in the past, to aid Valerie in all ways possible. This rogue was finally cornered by Ghaudunian guards and some army personnel, chose to take it's own life, than ever reveal anything to it's fellow countrymen. I read some about his exploits, what a scoundrel... Part of me wonders what part will you play.' Kyrem speaks what he knows, his face is masked by the whole head helmet he wears.
'Know that it will not be as anything grandeur as those who came before me, I intend on keeping the home I have. There won't be one like it.' Say with light seriousness.
'Your lords chose wisely to adopt you into their order, you must not have taken the news lightly.' Kyrem replies, referring to my blood, human and dragon in nature.
'It shocked me, part of me wanted to run, part of me wanted to very much not believe it... I had those rumors myself. When I was introduced my new part of my family, it changed me, in all ways, for the better.' Say with warmth. Princess Jiakyn looks confused but, I as expected, she realized quite quickly.
'You have blood of a dragon of Ghaudun?' Princess Jiakyn asks mildly shocked by the realization, even if it isn't all of it.
'Yes, it was a battle accident. We believe primary target was the one whose blood I share. I became a secondary target, just because of proximity. Investigation is still on, we do not have answers yet.' Reply to her calmly.
'I have read about the tales of those who have dragon blood, few even have written book or two. Variety of those tales is, as large as backgrounds and jobs they did before the discovery. You have blood of a shadow dragon?' Princess Jiakyn asks, tone telling that she is interested to hear more.
'I do. Never believed that something like this would happen to me, but, here I am. Ever since the day of meeting him, my life has become a lot better.' Reply in content tone.
'Volarie. I will be quite interested on reading what you have written of your life. Have you learned anything special from the mixing of the blood?' Princess Jiakyn asks excited to hear. Briefly, I smile cunningly to her and then vanish into a shadow before her and Kyrem's very eyes.
'Seirialia told me of your abilities, now, I most certainly believe her...' Kyrem says with slight shock and awe in his voice, as I just stand mixed into the shadows, there, but, not there.
'Learning from the artists and masters of dark arcane, most certainly must have helped. I have read about this ability but, never expected to witness it with my own eyes. Your life most certainly went through a great change...' Princess Jiakyn says with respect, awe and some admiration.
I appear from the embrace of the shadows and stand confidently. 'They most certainly taught me well, I feared the dark arcane, they taught me how to use it and imparted knowledge which helped me greatly to never again fear it. Now I dance with the light and dark as easily as I breathe.' Reply warmly and staying humble.
'You are still young, the best is, it is only upwards from here for you. Envious of you I am, I have only began to understand the other arcanes.' Princess Jiakyn says being open about her emotions to an extent.
'Know that it wasn't easy but, even my teachers admitted that they were somewhat surprised how I was responding to their teachings, even with the struggles here and there.' Reply to her calmly and remembering some of those times.
'It is the only arcane you are adept at?' Princess Jiakyn asks, somewhat doubtful of my words.
'It is, during the Riven War, many of the talents, both dragon and non-dragon were lost, one way or another. They said that, I have a knack for some specific areas of dark arcane, they would have been interested to see what potential I have with the other arcanes but, many of the shadow dragons agreed that having me here, along with Jakan, is the best combination.' Explain to Princess Jiakyn calmly, she isn't a child.
More towards late teens than young adult, state where her world view is growing far more comprehensive and more detailed than before. 'You grew up during the war. Didn't you?' Princess Jiakyn asks, most likely has deduced my age enough well to ask.
'Yes, it was bad, peace... Almost as bad. There are a lot of strong personal emotions, for now, I do not feel safe enough to tell you about them.' Reply carefully and making it clear that, it is a rather sore area.
Princess Jiakyn was about to ask but, Kyrem placed his left hand on Princess Jiakyn's right shoulder, prompting the younger to look at him, he shook his head in reply to the confused expression of the late teen. 'I believe it was commander Salgi who put it best. "War's monsters are not always fought at the front lines." Those are memories best shared in a far more less intense environment.' Kyrem states in straight tone.
Princess Jiakyn seems to struggle understand as her gaze fixates upon me. 'I do not understand.' Princess Jiakyn says to Kyrem when they seem to make eye contact.
'I am not the right person teach you about it. Believe in this though, she wouldn't mind change of subject.' Kyrem says calmly and let's go of Princess Jiakyn's shoulder. Interesting, royal family must trust Kyrem so strongly that they would allow that type of interaction. Princess Jiakyn looked quite surprised and slightly disappointed. I nodded to her, that Kyrem is correct.
She seems to relent, probably acknowledging that there are boundaries that needs to be respected. Thank you Kyrem, I do not think I am at all comfortable to speak about it to her. She thinks for a moment and looks at Jakan for a moment, who is talking with Lankensy. The two warrior's seem quite content with their discussion.
'How did you get to know him?' Princess Jiakyn asks as I look at Jakan for a moment with a small warm smile of happiness. I look at the princess and think about my response.
'First time I ever saw him, was when he doing melee training, felt quite intimidated and scared to talk to him or even be in his presence, so, I just left my melee training for later. Made enough sound for him to realize that somebody had entered the room but, left a lot sooner than what was normal to him.
The shadow dragons had found out about my avoidance of other members of the organization which were not dragon. They told me that, they learned from the war that, incoherent organization, that is not able to trust members within the organization is not a well functioning organization.
They said that, they will allow me to take my time to approach him. It was a lot sooner than later, they set up our proper introduction, relatively innocently. He is whole lot gentle than from outside he might seem to be. Now, we talk like we are life long friends. The draconian is most certainly is a veteran and fluent, of war and death, but, he can be a good mentor about life and peace.' Explain to Jiakyn who is listening very carefully, Kyrem is also listening.
'It sounds rather strange of you to word it how you did. What caused such a shift in him?' Princess Jiakyn asks intrigued.
'There is always change, that which we can observe, that which we can be, to put it quite bluntly, very ignorant off.' Answer to Princess Jiakyn, who looks at Kyrem, man nods deeply in agreement.

We take seats at a meeting table in the castle, Princess Jiakyn taking a seat first, then Seirialia, Tyrelia, Trenon, Lankensy and Kyrem, then the castle commanders who are quite surprised by presence of princess in their castle, and lastly Jakan and I take seats.
'Alright, explain then.' Lankensy says calmly to Princess Jiakyn. I wish I could have talked to Jakan about her before we sat down.
'Well, it took some persuasion for me to make the journey here. I am not going to just learn with theory, I need something to practice on and I have spell ideas that I want to try out.' Princess Jiakyn says calmly and in persuasive tone. Jakan and I looked into each others eyes for a moment, Jakan looks very concerned and, really wanted to say something but, chose to stay quiet.
'This is a war zone, and there is a good reason why there is a travel ban in this zone too.' Kyrem says straightly without hesitation.
'All the more reason for me to be here, the soldiers would need my presence, so that they know that their efforts will not be thrown away and that they will be remembered.' Princess Jiakyn states in honest tone.
'Do you really believe that you are ready to witness horrors of war?' Jakan asks calmly and interested to Princess' answer. For a moment she looked unsure and slightly insulted that Jakan was the one to ask the question, she looked at others present and even at me. She noticed that all of people here agree with Jakan's question.
'I do.' Princess Jiakyn says with slight hesitation.
'Bold answer, I know it is rude of me to question you, but, know this, I have already vowed that. It is either life, or death, that will carry on. I have seen those horrors myself, I have even fought and executed my own brother in arms. There are good reasons why the castle commanders and heroes of the riven war agreed with why I asked.' Jakan states, not entirely convinced but, willing to guide, guard, shelter, save and teach Princess Jiakyn, if the heroes of the riven war allow.
'How do you have such confidence in the words you have spoken? Ghaudunian.' Princess Jiakyn asks after glancing at all present here.
'As I am a Ghaudunian, I have good grasp of both active and passive effects of dark arcane on people. I have warred against undead before the war, I have seen the horrors, faced sorrowing defeats and lived through moments of triumph. Here, there is only death, life and struggle. One of the heroes of riven war, has met me before the war.' Jakan replies without hesitation and puts weight on his words.
'He was one of the groundskeepers of the Ghaudunian academy which I studied at. Draconian is a brave, stalwart and a dominant figure cast from metal and forged from war. Not many survived from the beginning, to the end of the war. When he speaks of facing undead, it is for your better that you listen.' Seirialia says with honesty.
'You have spoken well, draconian. Although, I have a feeling that my presence here is not exactly welcome.' Princess Jiakyn states to Jakan.
'Not only have we caused a diplomatic and political scandal, I do fear that the undead would make you a priority target to capture. These are not feral or dark arcane maddened undead we are facing, somebody is organizing this affair.' Jakan replies calmly and shows the maps. Princess asked for a confirmation from heroes of the riven war and castle commanders.
'Jakan speaks the truth, I personally witnessed his victory over a revenant champion. His sword is fine, as is his mind for war. Such a destructive figure of battle, are rare and continuing to survive. Surely one of the finest retainers of the shadowy ones.' Salgi states with respect.
'Not only is he strong but, also has knack for dueling. Tied with Lankensy before his victory in a mock duel. Ages like finest wine, princess. I know and understand your distrust towards the Ghaudunians but, in this matter. There are no nations.' Kyrem states with respect.
'What about you? You must be a junior agent.' Princess Jiakyn says heeding the words of to be her people, one day. She asks from me.
'I am indeed a junior agent, it is thanks to me that we know some specifics of who plausibly are behind this. Where my senior, is a cliff breaker, I am his eyes and ears, where he is not. I am new to the organization, but, our lords strongly believed that my skills would only benefit your nation's grand effort on solving this crisis, which is why I am here.' Speak out my purpose of being here to her.
Princess Jiakyn listened very carefully what I said. Closing her eyes to ponder, she nodded and opened her eyes again. That eye color has to be rare for people of Valerie, pink and yellow. Her physical stature, isn't ideal for war but, if she is at least one quarter of Seirialia's skill in arcane. She most certainly would make a difference.
'Alright. I will place my trust on both of you. I believe you are both here to help.' Princess Jiakyn says to me and Jakan. I feel mildly relieved, still, her presence here is double edged matter, I sense she is mildly overconfident but, worse is that she is untested. 'What are your plans for today?' Princess Jiakyn asks in her usual tone of, slightly confident and strong.
'We do need to escort the supply caravan to the town to the north and north west. Right now, we need mages that can heal wounds and work as secondary ranged units. Princess Jiakyn, may I request your presence at the town?' Lankensy asks, this would be both perfect opportunity to bolster morale of the citizens of the town but, also place a target on her back though... Lankensy looks into eyes of Jakan and I.
I think I understand his intentions, Jakan to act as part of the caravan guard and, maybe send me ahead to scout whether it is safe for the princess to enter... Smart man. Jakan ponders what Lankensy tried to indicate to him.
'From what I have heard, the town was in terrible danger previously, what has changed?' Princess Jiakyn asks mildly surprised of Lankensy's proposal.
Castle commanders brief Princess Jiakyn of the situation. Northern sectors of the castle to the town are pretty much back in control of Valerie. She smiles warmly of hearing these news. 'What about you heroes? What are you going to do while this is on going?' Princess Jiakyn asks.
'Kyrem, Tyrelia. Do you two think you can go with me to the town as escorts for the supply caravan?' Lankensy asks after thinking about the situation for a moment.
'This makes sense, we are going to need only good fighters just in case we get intercepted.' Kyrem says, Tyrelia nods in agreement.
'We are quite busy here already. The mages will provide a lot of help in healing these people, I need your assistance too, lady Seirialia.' Trenon says calmly.
'After seeing the slugging match yesterday, I agree with you, Trenon. The more we can help to recover sooner, the better.' Seirialia says, well, that's that for the plans of actually getting to know the heroes of the riven war better.
'What do you want us to do meanwhile then?' Jakan asks pondering how Lankensy is going to answer his question.
'I was planning on having you part of the security convoy and have Volarie check the town for anything suspicious.' Lankensy replies calmly.
'Hmm... Solid thinking. I wouldn't be able to avoid attention in a city. Are you okay with this plan? Princess Jiakyn.' Jakan says calmly.
Jiakyn thinks for a while. 'I do not have objections. When do we depart?' Princess Jiakyn asks somewhat excited to get started.
'It will take a while for the supplies required for the castle to be unloaded. No thoughts on what to do while it is on going...' Lankensy states thinking about the matter.
'How about getting to know each other then?' Princess Jiakyn proposes warmly and innocently. She has some ulterior motives that I can speculate but, no way I am voicing them here, I believe Jakan is thinking the same.
'Well, there isn't really anything else better to do.' Tyrelia says with content tone.
'All of the forces required for the convoy are being amassed as the time goes by anyway.' Kyrem says with a neutral tone, not being for or against the idea.
'A sound idea, I would like to get to know you better, Jakan. Warrior like you, along with the past you have had, must have quite tales to share.' Lankensy says, interested to talk with Jakan. I am guessing that he looks to learn, both history and combat from him.
Very easy to see from Jakan's expression that he is thinking about it. 'You have remained silent for the most of the talk, young agent. Is something bothering you?' Princess Jiakyn asks, warmly and calmly. I can see why people would feel warmly about her.
'At the moment, there aren't really any concerns. As the younger agent, I chose that, my senior agent handles most of the conversations with both of us present and back his words.' Reply to her calmly and partially choosing to elaborate the dynamic between me and Jakan.
'We do have the time since everything for today was already discussed yesterday. Princess, if I may be allowed to be direct with you. I would like to comment on your decision.' Jakan says calmly requesting an allowance to be open to her.
'You may say what is on your mind senior agent.' Princess Jiakyn replies calmly.
'I believe your heart is in the right place when you came here but, I fear for your safety of being here. As you already know, our most recent victory which has secured north east and north of the castle, has very likely escalated the conflict. I have strong suspicions that, once enemy agents in or outside of the castle find out of your presence here, you will be a high value target, which could swing this conflict into favor of our common enemy.' Jakan states humbly and professionally.
'I believe in my people to be wise to not choose such action, and that you agents. Will spare no effort in thwarting any action taken against me.' Princess Jiakyn replies confidently.
'It is just us two here, no more, no less. Princess, I believe I am stretching your willingness to hear those, once your opponents word's but, I plea that you will seek council of the heroes of the riven war when you are making decisions of where to apply yourself. Our combined presence most likely has already set the rumors running, which is my secondary concern.' Jakan says with consideration and caution.
'Your concerns are certainly reasonable, agent Jakan. Once the information of why you are here and involved with our war against the undead, such rumors should no longer be of concern. I will take your plea into consideration.' Princess Jiakyn says calmly, I quickly glance at Jakan, who is, not all that convinced but, fears overstepping his influence, so chooses to just nod deeply to Princess Jiakyn.
Castle commanders speak with Princess Jiakyn and after talking for a while. The private talk is over and we all go take our positions to be ready for the convoy's departure to the town. Lankensy and Jakan go to talk slightly further away from Princess Jiakyn, Kyrem and me.
She could be trying her luck on find out more about me than I am willing to share or about our organization. To my surprise, slightly to my own happiness. 'From what I have heard from my friends, your past was a rather ugly one, societally. I know some deeds of those whose name is Volarie.' Kyrem states to open the conversation.
'I remember reading about my name, how terrifying the weight of it is, certainly explained a lot of the treatment I received. What do you know?' Reply to him calmly, keeping my happiness hidden from him.
'A ghaudunian self learned rogue, who stole, murdered and misdirected Ghaudun in the past, to aid Valerie in all ways possible. This rogue was finally cornered by Ghaudunian guards and some army personnel, chose to take it's own life, than ever reveal anything to it's fellow countrymen. I read some about his exploits, what a scoundrel... Part of me wonders what part will you play.' Kyrem speaks what he knows, his face is masked by the whole head helmet he wears.
'Know that it will not be as anything grandeur as those who came before me, I intend on keeping the home I have. There won't be one like it.' Say with light seriousness.
'Your lords chose wisely to adopt you into their order, you must not have taken the news lightly.' Kyrem replies, referring to my blood, human and dragon in nature.
'It shocked me, part of me wanted to run, part of me wanted to very much not believe it... I had those rumors myself. When I was introduced my new part of my family, it changed me, in all ways, for the better.' Say with warmth. Princess Jiakyn looks confused but, I as expected, she realized quite quickly.
'You have blood of a dragon of Ghaudun?' Princess Jiakyn asks mildly shocked by the realization, even if it isn't all of it.
'Yes, it was a battle accident. We believe primary target was the one whose blood I share. I became a secondary target, just because of proximity. Investigation is still on, we do not have answers yet.' Reply to her calmly.
'I have read about the tales of those who have dragon blood, few even have written book or two. Variety of those tales is, as large as backgrounds and jobs they did before the discovery. You have blood of a shadow dragon?' Princess Jiakyn asks, tone telling that she is interested to hear more.
'I do. Never believed that something like this would happen to me, but, here I am. Ever since the day of meeting him, my life has become a lot better.' Reply in content tone.
'Volarie. I will be quite interested on reading what you have written of your life. Have you learned anything special from the mixing of the blood?' Princess Jiakyn asks excited to hear. Briefly, I smile cunningly to her and then vanish into a shadow before her and Kyrem's very eyes.
'Seirialia told me of your abilities, now, I most certainly believe her...' Kyrem says with slight shock and awe in his voice, as I just stand mixed into the shadows, there, but, not there.
'Learning from the artists and masters of dark arcane, most certainly must have helped. I have read about this ability but, never expected to witness it with my own eyes. Your life most certainly went through a great change...' Princess Jiakyn says with respect, awe and some admiration.
I appear from the embrace of the shadows and stand confidently. 'They most certainly taught me well, I feared the dark arcane, they taught me how to use it and imparted knowledge which helped me greatly to never again fear it. Now I dance with the light and dark as easily as I breathe.' Reply warmly and staying humble.
'You are still young, the best is, it is only upwards from here for you. Envious of you I am, I have only began to understand the other arcanes.' Princess Jiakyn says being open about her emotions to an extent.
'Know that it wasn't easy but, even my teachers admitted that they were somewhat surprised how I was responding to their teachings, even with the struggles here and there.' Reply to her calmly and remembering some of those times.
'It is the only arcane you are adept at?' Princess Jiakyn asks, somewhat doubtful of my words.
'It is, during the Riven War, many of the talents, both dragon and non-dragon were lost, one way or another. They said that, I have a knack for some specific areas of dark arcane, they would have been interested to see what potential I have with the other arcanes but, many of the shadow dragons agreed that having me here, along with Jakan, is the best combination.' Explain to Princess Jiakyn calmly, she isn't a child.
More towards late teens than young adult, state where her world view is growing far more comprehensive and more detailed than before. 'You grew up during the war. Didn't you?' Princess Jiakyn asks, most likely has deduced my age enough well to ask.
'Yes, it was bad, peace... Almost as bad. There are a lot of strong personal emotions, for now, I do not feel safe enough to tell you about them.' Reply carefully and making it clear that, it is a rather sore area.
Princess Jiakyn was about to ask but, Kyrem placed his left hand on Princess Jiakyn's right shoulder, prompting the younger to look at him, he shook his head in reply to the confused expression of the late teen. 'I believe it was commander Salgi who put it best. "War's monsters are not always fought at the front lines." Those are memories best shared in a far more less intense environment.' Kyrem states in straight tone.
Princess Jiakyn seems to struggle understand as her gaze fixates upon me. 'I do not understand.' Princess Jiakyn says to Kyrem when they seem to make eye contact.
'I am not the right person teach you about it. Believe in this though, she wouldn't mind change of subject.' Kyrem says calmly and let's go of Princess Jiakyn's shoulder. Interesting, royal family must trust Kyrem so strongly that they would allow that type of interaction. Princess Jiakyn looked quite surprised and slightly disappointed. I nodded to her, that Kyrem is correct.
She seems to relent, probably acknowledging that there are boundaries that needs to be respected. Thank you Kyrem, I do not think I am at all comfortable to speak about it to her. She thinks for a moment and looks at Jakan for a moment, who is talking with Lankensy. The two warrior's seem quite content with their discussion.
'How did you get to know him?' Princess Jiakyn asks as I look at Jakan for a moment with a small warm smile of happiness. I look at the princess and think about my response.
'First time I ever saw him, was when he doing melee training, felt quite intimidated and scared to talk to him or even be in his presence, so, I just left my melee training for later. Made enough sound for him to realize that somebody had entered the room but, left a lot sooner than what was normal to him.
The shadow dragons had found out about my avoidance of other members of the organization which were not dragon. They told me that, they learned from the war that, incoherent organization, that is not able to trust members within the organization is not a well functioning organization.
They said that, they will allow me to take my time to approach him. It was a lot sooner than later, they set up our proper introduction, relatively innocently. He is whole lot gentle than from outside he might seem to be. Now, we talk like we are life long friends. The draconian is most certainly is a veteran and fluent, of war and death, but, he can be a good mentor about life and peace.' Explain to Jiakyn who is listening very carefully, Kyrem is also listening.
'It sounds rather strange of you to word it how you did. What caused such a shift in him?' Princess Jiakyn asks intrigued.
'There is always change, that which we can observe, that which we can be, to put it quite bluntly, very ignorant off.' Answer to Princess Jiakyn, who looks at Kyrem, man nods deeply in agreement.

Hell on wheels. Not entirely straight. I am a goth babe, granted with defective legs—a budget goth babe, if you will. One of those off the shelf ones, except I don’t trust myself around shelves. Wheelchair and that. Looking for something long-term. Open to anyone 29-36. https://ibb.co/DwFPtqG Here I am! Please tell me your favorite book if you decide to send me a message! Talk about medieval history with me!
I love single-player RPGs, but I could use a player two. I am also a voracious reader so sometimes I read 10 books at once. I'm looking for something long-term. Right now I'm taking a break from school while I pursue my Masters in psychology and reading Lord of the Rings. I could also use Nintendo Switch friends. I usually play a human sorcerer in Dungeons & Dragons; if there's an open spot in your party I'll take it! I love Tolkien, A Song of Ice and Fire and recently started Robert Jordan's books! Arya, Sansa, Brienne, Jaime and Bran are my favorite characters. Baldur’s Gate, Mass Effect, Fallout and Elder Scrolls are some of my favorites. I collect vinyl and love my dog more than anything else.
Marathoning Doctor Who--Nine and Thirteen are my Doctors! Loving Shōgun and House of the Dragon, though I could always use more period drama recommendations! I keep Kitchen Nightmares on as background noise.
I have a special interest in shipwrecks and medieval English history.
Still love Evanescence, Lacuna Coil, Nightwish and bands of that illk. Will take emo and punk friends too! I need friends in Disney Dreamlight Valley as well!
I am looking for long, loving, lasting relationships primarily. If you are too please reach out. Please tell me a little bit about yourself if you can and please be fairly close in age to me. I am very shy, please be understanding if I am slow to respond.

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/cg1p8marcoxnt93s_igs_rep_page/
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Red Line
Regency Solitaire
Regular Human Basketball
Regions of Ruin
Re-Legion
Retimed
Remnants of Naezith
Rencounter
Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood
Replica
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Resort Boss: Golf
Return to Mysterious Island
Reventure
REZ PLZ
Richard & Alice
Rise of Insanity
Risen
Rising Dusk
River City Girls
River City Melee Mach
ROAD 96
Road to Guangdong
Roads of Rome 3
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
RRRR
RUNOUT
Rym 9000
S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
Safety First!
Sanitarium
Satellite Reign
Satellite Rush
Savage Lands
Save Jesus
Say No! More
Scheming Through The Zombie Apocalypse: The Beginning
ScourgeBringer
Sea Horizon
Serial Cleaner
Sentience: The Android's Tale
SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Severed Steel
Shadowrun Returns
Shadows: Awakening
Shantae: Risky's Revenge - Director's Cut
SHENMUE III
Shing!
Shooting Stars!
Shoppe Keep
SHOPPE KEEP 2
Shutter 2
Shred! 2 - ft Sam Pilgrim
Sid Meier Civilization V
Sid Meier Civilization VI
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
sim city 4
Sir Whoopass™: Immortal Death
Sky Break
SKULLY
Slain: Back from Hell
Slinger VR
Smart Factory Tycoon
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
Songbird Symphony
SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
sonic all stars transformed collection
Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
Sonic Forces
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode II
Sorry, James
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Soulflow
SPACECOM
Space Robinson: Hardcore Roguelike Actio
Sparkle 2
SpeedRunners
Spidersaurs
Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
Spirit of the Isand
Splasher
Spooky Bonus
Spring Bonus
Stacking
Stalingrad
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
Starbound
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Star Wars Knights of the old Republic 2
Star Wars The Force Unleashed
Star Wolves
star trek bridge crew
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition - only for good offers
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Steamburg
Steel Rats
Stick it to The Man!
Stick Fight: The Game
Stikir
Stirring Abyss
Strikey Sisters
Stronghold Crusader 2
Slime-san
Strategic Mind: The Pacific
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Styx: Master of Shadows
SWAG AND SORCERY
Sudden Strike 4
Suffer The Night
Sunlight
Summer in Mara
Superhot VR
Super 3-D Noah's Ark
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Super Rude Bear Resurrection
Super Star Path
SurrounDead
Survivalist: Invisible Strain
Switchball HD
Sword of the Necromancer
Syberia 3
Symmetry
Syberia 3
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Talk to Strangers
tannenberg
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
Team Sonic Racing
tekken 7
Telefrag VR
TERRACOTTA
Tesla Force
Teslagrad Remastered
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Tharsis
The Adventure Pals
The Amazing American Circus
The Assembly
The Big Con
The Black Heart
The Coma 2: Vicious Sisters
The Crow's Eye
The Darkside Detective
The Deed
The Deed II
The Deed: Dynasty
The Dungeon Beneath
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
The Escapists
The Fan
The Final Station
The Flame in the Flood
The Free Ones - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
The Horror Of Salazar House
The Inner World
The Invisible Hand
The Last Crown: Midnight Horror
The Last Tinker: City of Colors
The Long Dark: Survival Edition
The Lost Crown
The Long Reach
The Knight Witch
The Magister
The Metronomicon - The Deluxe Edition
The Myth Seekers 2: The Sunken City
The Myth Seekers: The Legacy of Vulcan
The Next Penelope
The Oil Blue: Steam Legacy Edition
The Secret Order 5: The Buried Kingdom
The Secret Order 6: Bloodline
The Secret Order 7: Shadow Breach
The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf
The Spectrum Retreat
THE SWORDS OF DITTO: MORMO'S CURSEa
The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia
The Town of Light
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead – Season 1
The Walking Dead: 400 Days DLC
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Final Season
The Wild Eight
The Whispered World Special Edition
They Always Run
They Bleed Pixels
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
Through the Woods
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
Ticket to Ride
Tilt Brush
TIN CAN
Time on Frog Island
Time Loader
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
tiny & Tall: Gleipnir
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove
Toki
Tomb Raider GOTY Edition
Tom Clancy's The Division Uplay + Survival dlc
Total War: MEDIEVAL II Definitive Edition
Totally Reliable Delivery Service
Tower of Time
Total War: ROME II - Caesar in Gaul
TRUBERBROOK
Toybox Turbos
Toy Tinker Simulator
Tracks - The Train Set Game
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Trine 2: Complete Story
Trine 3
Trine 4
Tropico 4
Tunche
Tumblestone
Turmoil
Tyrant's Blessing
UFO: Afterlight
Ultimate Zombie Defense
Undead Horde
UNDETECTED
Unloved
Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
Unhack
Unloved
Unmemory
Unto The End
Valfaris
Vambrace: Cold Soul
Vampire of the Sands
Vampire: The Masquerade – Swansong
Vampire Survivors
VANE
Vanishing Realms
Velocity Ultra
Viking Saga New World
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Voidship: The Long Journey
walking dead the new frontier
WARBORN
WARHAMMER 40,000: GLADIUS - RELICS OF WAR
Warpips
War Solution - Casual Math Game
Wandersong
Wargroove
war tech fighters
Wasteland 2: Director s Cut - Classic Edition
Wayout
Wayout 2: Hex
Wayward Souls
We Are Alright
When In Rome
WHERE THE WATER TASTES LIKE WINE
White Night
White Noise 2
Witch it
Without Within 3
WizardChess
World Keepers Last Resort
World Ship Simulator
Worms Blast
Worms Crazy Golf
Worms Pinball
Worms Revolution
Worms Rumble
Wounded - The Beginning
Verdant Skies
XBlaze Code: Embryo
X-Com 2
XEL
XLarn
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
Xpand Rally
Yakuza Kiwami 2
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yesterday Origins"
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Yoku's Island Express
Yono and the Celestial Elephants
Yooka-Laylee
Zarya-1: Mystery on the Moon
Zombie Derby 2
Zombie Night Terror

7 Wonders: Magical Mystery Tour
7 Wonders: Treasures of Seven
9 Years of Shadows
12 is Better Than 6
911 Operator
A Blind Legend
Aarklash: Legacy
Acorn Assault: Rodent Revolution
Achtung! Cthulhu Tactics
Afterimage
Agatha Christie - The ABC Murders
Agent in Depth
age of wonders 3
Agents of Mayhem
Alien Spidy
AI War 2
A Juggler's Tale
Alchemist's Castle
Alchemy Garden
Almost There: The Platformer
ALLTYNEX Second"
Alter Army"
Akka Arrh
American Fugitive
A Musical Story
Ancestors Legacy
Ancient Enemy
An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Anomaly Defenders
Anomaly: Warzone Earth
Aragami 2
Arboria
Arcade Spirits
Arena Renovation
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
Arma X
Arx Fatalis
Ary and the Secret of Seasons
Ascension to the Throne
Ashina: The Red Witch
Astronarch
Atari Vault
Attack of the Earthlings
Attractio
Automachef
Axiom Verge
Backbone
Back 4 Blood - Only for good offers
Band of Defenders"
Banners of Ruin
Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
Batman: Arkham Origins
Battle Academy 2: Eastern Front
Battle vs Chess
BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
Belladonna
Beyond the Long Night
Bionic Commando: Rearmed
BioShock Infinite
Biped
Bizango Blast
Backfirewall
BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
BLADE ASSAULT
Blacksad: Under the Skin
Blitzkrieg Anthology
Blood Bowl 2
Borderlands Game of the Year Enhanced
Borderlands handsome collection
Bosorka
Bots Are Stupid
Bot Vice
Breakout: Recharged
Breathedge
Brunch Club
Broken Age
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Bunker Punks
Calico
Call of Cthulhu®: Dark Corners of the Earth
Call of Juarez
Caravan
Carmageddon max damage
Cats and the Other Lives
Caveblazers
Caverns of Mars: Recharged
Caveman World: Mountains of Unga Boonga
Centipede: Recharged
Chambers of Devious Design
Chess Ultra
Chicken Assassin: Reloaded
Children of Morta
CHAOS CODE -NEW SIGN OF CATASTROPHE-
Chaos on Deponia
Chariot
Circuit Breakers
City Siege: Faction Island
Close to the Sun
Clunky Hero
Colt Canyon
Constructor Classic 1997
Convoy
Conglomerate 451
Cookie Cutter
Cook Serve Delicious
Cook Serve Delicious! 3?!
Corridor Z
Cosmic Express
Craft Keep VR
Crazy Belts
Creeping Terror
Creepy Tale
Crewsaders
Crown Champion: Legends of the Arena
Crumble
CryoFall
CTU: Counter Terrorism Unit
Cubicle Quest
Cursed Sight
Cybarian: The Time Travelling Warrior
Darkest Dungeon
DARK FUTURE: BLOOD RED STATES
Dark Strokes The Legend of the Snow Kingdom Collectors Edition
Darkness Within 2: The Dark Lineage
Danger Scavenger
Day of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead Age 2
Dead by daylight
Dead End Job
Deadlight: Director's Cut
Dead Island Definitive Edition
Dead Space 3 Origin key
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
DESERT CHILD
DEATHRUN TV
Death Squared
Death to Spies: Moment of Truth
Degrees of Separation
Demon Pit
DESOLATE
Detached: Non-VR Edition
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Devil Daggers
Devil's Hunt
Devil May Cry 4 Special Edition
DIG - Deep In Galaxies
Dimension Drifter
Dirt Rally 2.0 - Only for good offers
DIRT SHOWDOWN
dirt 5 - Only for good offers
Distrust
Divide By Sheep
DmC Devil May Cry
Doodle Derby
DOOM (1993)
DOOM II
DOOM 64
Dorke and Ymp
Doorways: Holy Mountains of Flesh
Double
Double Dragon IV
Doughlings Arcade
Doughlings Invasion
Draw Slasher
Dreamscaper
DreamWorks Dragons: Legends of the Nine Realms
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Drink More Glurp
Dub Dash
Duke Nukem Forever
Dungeons 3
Dust to the End
DV: Rings of Saturn
Eagle Island
Elderand
Elven Legacy Collection
Endless Fables 3: Dark Moor
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
Escape Dead Island
Escape Game Fort Boyard
Escape from Naraka
Eternal Edge +
Eternity: The Last Unicorn
Etherlords I & II
Eventide 3: Legacy of Legends
Evergarden
Everhood
Exorder
eXperience 112
Explodemon
Extinction
Evoland
F1 2012 - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
f1 2019 Anniversary - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
Family Mysteries: Poisonous Promises
Fantasy Blacksmith
Farabel
Farming World
Farm Frenzy: Refreshed
Figment
Final Doom
Fire
Firegirl
FIRST CLASS TROUBLE
Flashing Lights Police Fire EMS
Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
Flying Tigers: Shadows Over China - Deluxe Edition
Fractured Minds
FRAMED COLLECTION
Freaking Meatbags
Frog Detective 2: The Case of the Invisible Wizard
FRONTIERS
Frick, Inc.
For the People
Formula Carr Racing
Funk of Titans
Furious Angels
Fury Unleashed
Gamedec
GameGuru
Game Dev Studio
Garbage
Gas Station Simulator
Generation Zero
GetsuFumaDen: Undying Moon
Ghost Files: The Face of Guilt
Ghost Files 2: Memory of a Crime
Ghost Files: The Face of Guilt
Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
Gigapocalypse
GOAT OF DUTY
God’s Trigger
Goetia
Go Home Dinosaurs
Godstrike
Going Under
Golden Light
Golfie
Golf Gang
Goodbye Deponia
Grand Mountain Adventure: Wonderlands
Grey Goo Definitive Edition
Grotto
Grid Ultimate Edition
Grim Legends 2: Song of the Dark Swan
Grim Legends: The Forsaken Bride
GRIP: Combat Racing
GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
Groundhog Day: Like Father Like Son
GTA VICE CITY - only for very good offers
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
Gunscape
Guns & Fishes
Guns of Icarus Alliance
Hacknet
Hack 'n' Slash
Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
Hauma - A Detective Noir Story
Headsnatchers
Hero of the Kingdom
Hero of the Kingdom III
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 1
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
Heroes of the Monkey Tavern
Heroes of Hellas 3: Athens
Heroes of Hellas Origins: Part One
HEAVEN'S VAULT
Hexologic
Hidden Memory - Neko's Life
Hidden Object 6in1 bundle
Hidden Object Bundle 5 in 1
Hidden Shapes - Trick or Cats
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hiveswap Friendsim
Hitman Absolution
Holiday Bonus GOLD
Holy Potatoes! A Weapon Shop?!
Homebrew - Patent Unknown
Homefront
Home Sweet Home
Home Sweet Home EP2
Horizon Shift
Hospital Tycoon
How 2 Escape
Hyperdrive Massacre
Hyperspace Invaders II: Pixel Edition
I am not a Monster: First Contact
ICBM
Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition
Impulsion
In Between
Innerspace
Inside My Radio
Internet Cafe Simulator
Interrogation: You will be deceived
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Into the Pit
Insurgency
In Other Waters
Iratus
Ironcast
Iron Commando - Koutetsu no Senshi
Iron Danger
Iron Lung
Iron Marines
Island Tribe
Izmir: An Independence Simulator
Jalopy
Jane Angel: Templar Mystery
Jewel Match Atlantis Solitaire - Collector's Edition
Jewel Match Solitaire 2 Collector's Edition
Jewel Match Solitaire L'Amour
Jewel Match Solitaire Winterscapes
Joggernauts
Just Cause 3
Just Die Already
Just Ignore Them
Kaichu - The Kaiju Dating Sim
Kao the Kangaroo (2000 re-release)
KarmaZoo
Kerbal Space Program
Killing Floor 2
Killer is Dead - Nightmare Edition
Kitaria Fables
Kingdom Rush
King Oddball
Knight's Retreat
Knightin'+
Koala Kids
Konung 2
Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure
Landlord's Super
Lamentum
Laser Disco Defenders
Last Oasis
Last Word
Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
Lego Marvel 2 Deluxe
LEVELHEAD
Lila’s Sky Ark
Livelock
Looking for Aliens
Looterkings
Lost Words: Beyond the Page
Lovecraft's Untold Stories + OST + Artbook
Lords and Villeins
Ludus
Lumberhill
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond - M Edition
Luxor 3
Machinika Museum
Mad Experiments: Escape Room
Mad Max
Mad Tracks
MageQuit
Magenta Horizon
Magrunner: Dark Pulse
MAIN ASSEMBLY
Mahjong
MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
Mask of the Rose
Mass Effect 2
Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Men of War: Assault Squad - Game of the Year Edition
Men of War: Red Tide
Meow Express
Metal Unit
Metro last light redux
Metro Redux Bundle
Micro Machines World Series
Middle-earth : Shadow of Mordor Goty
Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
Midnight Protocol
Mini Ninjas
Mini Thief
Minute of Islands
MirrorMoon EP
Mob Rule Classic
Modern Tales: Age of Invention
Moon Hunters
Monaco
Moss Destruction
MotoGP 15
MORKREDD
Mortal Kombat XL
Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate
Mount & blade
Mr. Run and Jump
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
My Big Sister
Nadia Was Here
NEON ABYSS
Nigate Tale
Nihilumbra
Nippon Marathon
NecroWorm
Neon Chrome
Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
Neverout
NEXT JUMP: Shmup Tactics
Ninjin: Clash of Carrots
Nobodies: Murder Cleaner
Noir Chronicles: City of Crime
Noitu Love 2: Devolution
Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
Northern Tale
Non-Stop Raiders
Now You See - A Hand Painted Horror Adventure
Old School Musical
Omen Exitio: Plague
Orbital Bullet
Orbital Racer
Oriental Empires
Orn the tiny forest sprite
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
Outcast - Second Contact
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Out of Space
OUT OF THE BOX
Overcooked
Overloop
Overlord
Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
Overture
Pang Adventures
Painkiller Hell & Damnation
Paperbark
Paper Beast - Folded Edition
Paper Fire Rookie
Paper Planet
Pathfinder: Kingmaker
Paradigm
Persian Nights 2: The Moonlight Veil
Pathfinder Wrath
Pathway
Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
Paw Paw Paw
PAYDAY 2
Peachleaf Pirates
Persian Nights: Sands of Wonders
Pickers
pillars of eternity
Pill Baby
Pirate Pop Plus
Pizza Express
Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
PixelJunk™ Monsters Ultimate + Shooter Bundle
Pixplode
Pixross
Planet TD
Plebby Quest: The Crusades
Planet Zoo
Police Stories
Post Master
Porcunipine
portal knights
Post Void
Prehistoric Tales
Primal Carnage: Extinction
pro cycling manager 2019
Project Chemistry
Professor Lupo: Ocean
Prophecy I - The Viking Child
Pushover
qomp
Quantum Replica
Quake 2
Rage in Peace
RAIDEN V: DIRECTOR'S CUT
Raining Blobs
Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan
Railway Empire
Radio Commander
Rebel Galaxy
Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
Rebel Inc
Recon Control
Red Faction
Red Faction®: Armageddon™
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
Red Line
Regency Solitaire
Regular Human Basketball
Regions of Ruin
Re-Legion
Retimed
Remnants of Naezith
Rencounter
Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood
Replica
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Resort Boss: Golf
Return to Mysterious Island
Reventure
REZ PLZ
Richard & Alice
Rise of Insanity
Risen
Rising Dusk
River City Girls
River City Melee Mach
ROAD 96
Road to Guangdong
Roads of Rome 3
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
RRRR
RUNOUT
Rym 9000
S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
Safety First!
Sanitarium
Satellite Reign
Satellite Rush
Savage Lands
Save Jesus
Say No! More
Scheming Through The Zombie Apocalypse: The Beginning
ScourgeBringer
Sea Horizon
Serial Cleaner
Sentience: The Android's Tale
SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Severed Steel
Shadowrun Returns
Shadows: Awakening
Shantae: Risky's Revenge - Director's Cut
SHENMUE III
Shing!
Shooting Stars!
Shoppe Keep
SHOPPE KEEP 2
Shutter 2
Shred! 2 - ft Sam Pilgrim
Sid Meier Civilization V
Sid Meier Civilization VI
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
sim city 4
Sir Whoopass™: Immortal Death
Sky Break
SKULLY
Slain: Back from Hell
Slinger VR
Smart Factory Tycoon
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
Songbird Symphony
SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
sonic all stars transformed collection
Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
Sonic Forces
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode II
Sorry, James
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Soulflow
SPACECOM
Space Robinson: Hardcore Roguelike Actio
Sparkle 2
SpeedRunners
Spidersaurs
Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
Spirit of the Isand
Splasher
Spooky Bonus
Spring Bonus
Stacking
Stalingrad
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
Starbound
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Star Wars Knights of the old Republic 2
Star Wars The Force Unleashed
Star Wolves
star trek bridge crew
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition - only for good offers
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Steamburg
Steel Rats
Stick it to The Man!
Stick Fight: The Game
Stikir
Stirring Abyss
Strikey Sisters
Stronghold Crusader 2
Slime-san
Strategic Mind: The Pacific
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Styx: Master of Shadows
SWAG AND SORCERY
Sudden Strike 4
Suffer The Night
Sunlight
Summer in Mara
Superhot VR
Super 3-D Noah's Ark
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Super Rude Bear Resurrection
Super Star Path
SurrounDead
Survivalist: Invisible Strain
Switchball HD
Sword of the Necromancer
Syberia 3
Symmetry
Syberia 3
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Talk to Strangers
tannenberg
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
Team Sonic Racing
tekken 7
Telefrag VR
TERRACOTTA
Tesla Force
Teslagrad Remastered
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Tharsis
The Adventure Pals
The Amazing American Circus
The Assembly
The Big Con
The Black Heart
The Coma 2: Vicious Sisters
The Crow's Eye
The Darkside Detective
The Deed
The Deed II
The Deed: Dynasty
The Dungeon Beneath
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
The Escapists
The Fan
The Final Station
The Flame in the Flood
The Free Ones - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
The Horror Of Salazar House
The Inner World
The Invisible Hand
The Last Crown: Midnight Horror
The Last Tinker: City of Colors
The Long Dark: Survival Edition
The Lost Crown
The Long Reach
The Knight Witch
The Magister
The Metronomicon - The Deluxe Edition
The Myth Seekers 2: The Sunken City
The Myth Seekers: The Legacy of Vulcan
The Next Penelope
The Oil Blue: Steam Legacy Edition
The Secret Order 5: The Buried Kingdom
The Secret Order 6: Bloodline
The Secret Order 7: Shadow Breach
The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf
The Spectrum Retreat
THE SWORDS OF DITTO: MORMO'S CURSEa
The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia
The Town of Light
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead – Season 1
The Walking Dead: 400 Days DLC
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Final Season
The Wild Eight
The Whispered World Special Edition
They Always Run
They Bleed Pixels
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
Through the Woods
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
Ticket to Ride
Tilt Brush
TIN CAN
Time on Frog Island
Time Loader
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
tiny & Tall: Gleipnir
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove
Toki
Tomb Raider GOTY Edition
Tom Clancy's The Division Uplay + Survival dlc
Total War: MEDIEVAL II Definitive Edition
Totally Reliable Delivery Service
Tower of Time
Total War: ROME II - Caesar in Gaul
TRUBERBROOK
Toybox Turbos
Toy Tinker Simulator
Tracks - The Train Set Game
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Trine 2: Complete Story
Trine 3
Trine 4
Tropico 4
Tunche
Tumblestone
Turmoil
Tyrant's Blessing
UFO: Afterlight
Ultimate Zombie Defense
Undead Horde
UNDETECTED
Unloved
Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
Unhack
Unloved
Unmemory
Unto The End
Valfaris
Vambrace: Cold Soul
Vampire of the Sands
Vampire: The Masquerade – Swansong
Vampire Survivors
VANE
Vanishing Realms
Velocity Ultra
Viking Saga New World
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Voidship: The Long Journey
walking dead the new frontier
WARBORN
WARHAMMER 40,000: GLADIUS - RELICS OF WAR
Warpips
War Solution - Casual Math Game
Wandersong
Wargroove
war tech fighters
Wasteland 2: Director s Cut - Classic Edition
Wayout
Wayout 2: Hex
Wayward Souls
We Are Alright
When In Rome
WHERE THE WATER TASTES LIKE WINE
White Night
White Noise 2
Witch it
Without Within 3
WizardChess
World Keepers Last Resort
World Ship Simulator
Worms Blast
Worms Crazy Golf
Worms Pinball
Worms Revolution
Worms Rumble
Wounded - The Beginning
Verdant Skies
XBlaze Code: Embryo
X-Com 2
XEL
XLarn
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
Xpand Rally
Yakuza Kiwami 2
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yesterday Origins"
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Yoku's Island Express
Yono and the Celestial Elephants
Yooka-Laylee
Zarya-1: Mystery on the Moon
Zombie Derby 2
Zombie Night Terror

7 Wonders: Magical Mystery Tour
7 Wonders: Treasures of Seven
12 is Better Than 6
911 Operator
A Blind Legend
Aarklash: Legacy
Acorn Assault: Rodent Revolution
Achtung! Cthulhu Tactics
Afterimage
Agatha Christie - The ABC Murders
Agent in Depth
age of wonders 3
Agents of Mayhem
Alien Spidy
AI War 2
A Juggler's Tale
Alchemist's Castle
Alchemy Garden
Almost There: The Platformer
ALLTYNEX Second"
Alter Army"
Akka Arrh
American Fugitive
A Musical Story
Ancestors Legacy
Ancient Enemy
An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Anomaly Defenders
Anomaly: Warzone Earth
Aragami 2
Arboria
Arcade Spirits
Arena Renovation
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
Arma X
Arx Fatalis
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I quit drinking 1.5 years ago and in many ways it was a good decision. However, it would be a lie to say it's magically fixed my life as a lot of newly sober people claim. Specifically, it's become painfully obvious to me just how impossible it is for me to socialize when stone cold sober. This is despite having years, decades really, of various social experience as well as even studying human socialization as a special interest for many years. I get the theory, but my mind can't pull off the actions. Some of the things I experience when trying to do this:

• Generally nervous
• Can't maintain eye contact and think simultaneously
• Disjointed speech
• Monotone
• Delayed responses due to overthinking
• Voice physically weak or scratchy
• Opposite of "cool," or "smooth"
• Stiff, wooden, and random movements
• No confidence

What's amazing is just one or two drinks fixes all this. However, I am also aware that alcohol shuts down your brain making it more and more likely you will keep drinking past the sweet spot and wreck your life.
I'm not ready to abandon sobriety, but if I was being completely honest, the lack of ability to form relationships is probably more detrimental to my future than chancing the ill effects of alcohol consumption. I'm at a point where if I was in a pinch there is literally no one I could call to help me out; zero friends, family will not talk to me anymore. I genuinely need to form some relationships just for the sake of safety in the modern world, and it's kind of becoming a big priority for me.
Has anyone dealt with this and made the decision to employ alcohol again as a rational decision and not just because they really wanted to? Is it even possible to control its use long term (I kind of think the answer is no). Any thoughts or solidarity much appreciated.

I have been suffering with left sided ear fullness since mid February!!!!! There was never any pain, but at first it was so bad it felt TOTALLY full and stuffy with muffled hearing and I could hear the echo of my own voice.
The ENT just looked into my ear, said it was normal, chalked it up to Eustachian tube dysfunction and told me I had to live with it/“it might go away but no promises”. I’m thinking of seeing another ent for a second opinion because I'm not satisfied with that.
I went to an Allergist about 6 weeks ago because I thought I had asthma like symptoms (life long allergy sufferer) and diagnosed me with silent reflux. With a perscription PPI, diet changes, and elevated sleeping my problem has resolved maybe 75-80%. He also is treating my normal allergies/post nasal drip. Allergies are totally managed now. Last time I saw him he suggested debrox to clean my ears (even though they’re completely clear). The debrox made it worse for a few days.
I'm grateful for having improvement but just hate this feeling! It’s a full feeling, mild pressure, with some pulsatile qualities when I’m physically exerting myself. If I close my mouth and hum really loud/hard/steady in a quiet room I can hear my heart beat. Even when I feel fine, I check to see if I can hear the heart beat - and it’s always there :( and it's postural, its only there depending on how I move my head.
I notice if I eat anything dairy/especially full fat dairy, it temporarily gets a lot worse. But he says if it were allergy related both ears would be equally effected.
My new GI doc has a tentative diagnosis of dyspepsia (instead of silent reflux) and is doing a full work up on me - but I forgot to mention the ear fullness to him!!! In my heart, I think this could be related to reflux but I want his opinion.
TLDR: At first I thought it was allergies (allergist says no, because it’s not bilateral), then I thought it was intracranial pressure (eye doc and retina specialist say I’m fine), then I thought it was reflux related - which, since starting treatment for reflux in the beginning of April, has made a nice improvement but not a full resolution. Now I’m wondering if it’s a straight up dairy intolerance?
I don’t know what to do!!!!!!!!!

Linda (Final Boss)
Level: 100
Class: Queen of the realm
Abilities:
Presence of Authority (Passive)
Description: Linda commands respect and attention in any social setting. Increases her influence over others by 40%. Cooldown: Always active
Summon Joyce (Active)
Description: Linda can summon Joyce, a high-level ally, to assist in social challenges. Joyce’s presence boosts Linda’s abilities by an additional 20% while active. Duration: once summoned always active Cooldown: 2 hours
Intimidating Aura (Passive)
Description: Linda’s presence can be intimidating, reducing the effectiveness of lower-level opponents' abilities by 30%. Cooldown: Always active
Mind Games (Active)
Description: Linda can engage in subtle psychological tactics that disorient and confuse her opponents. Effect: Lowers opponents’ rizz and confidence by 20% for 10 minutes. Cooldown: 1 hour
Equipment:
Elegant Wardrobe: Enhances Charisma by +10. Aura of Command: Increases initial respect and compliance by 20%.
Joyce
Level: 75
Class: Queen lindas #1 Night soldier
Abilities:
Supportive Presence (Passive)
Description: Joyce’s presence amplifies the abilities of her allies, increasing their effectiveness by 15%. Cooldown: Always active
Charm Shield (Active)
Description: Joyce can create a protective charm barrier around an ally, reducing the impact of negative social interactions by 50%. Duration: always active once summoned Cooldown: 1 hour
Conversation Control (Active)
Description: Joyce can steer conversations in desired directions with ease, gaining vital information or manipulating outcomes. Effect: Increases information extraction and manipulation success rate by 25% for 10 minutes. Cooldown: 30 minutes
Influence Surge (Passive)
Description: Joyce’s influence can surge unexpectedly, overpowering opponents’ defenses in critical moments. Effect: Temporarily boosts all social stats by 30% during crucial interactions. Cooldown: Always active
Equipment:
Sophisticated Attire: Enhances Charisma by +7. Voice of Persuasion: Increases likelihood of successful persuasion by 15%.
Battle Dynamics Scenario: Jason, at Level 17, encounters Linda, the final boss at Level 100. Linda summons Joyce to assist her.
Strategy for Jason:
Preparation: Jason should activate Smooth Talker and Group Dynamics to maximize his social interactions and influence.
During Battle: Focus on engaging Joyce first, as she amplifies Linda’s abilities. Use Flirt Mastery to turn interactions positive and possibly gain Joyce's sympathy or neutralize her support.
Final Push: Once Joyce is out of the picture, Jason should rely on his rizz mastery (lvl 75 ability) and Stylish Attire to withstand Linda's Intimidating Aura and Mind Games.
Victory Condition: Jason must outlast Linda's powerful social strategies by leveraging his charm and timing his abilities perfectly, waiting for the cooldowns of Linda's powerful attacks to engage effectively.