1. I know that there are different schools of thought within psychoanalysis. How does that translate into clinical practice? Do various psychoanalytic institutes teach different schools of thought or are they essentially indistinguishable when practiced?
   
2. Is old school psychoanalysis ( Seeing a patient 4-6 times a week, long term treatment) even feasible to make a career out of in the modern world? I don't mind working exclusively with wealthy people IF it's even at all feasible even with them. I know insurance won't compensate, but any information with regards to how much a certified psychoanalyst can make annually would be greatly appreciated.
   
3. Is there any clinical evidence to support the efficacy of psychoanalysis? Especially when compared to other modalities? I see many on here interested in literature and theory, but considering how many in the academic realm of psychology regard psychoanalysis as a pseudoscience, it would really make me feel better to know there is evidence and science supporting psychoanalysis.
   

Any other information or advice is appreciated.

Hi all! Im from the PH and recently got accepted for Masters in a certain uni in AUS and I already received my COE. I plan to take my de facto partner with me as dependent. For context, we’ve been living at his parents house for more than a year. We intend to lodge our visas by the end of 2nd quarter this year. We’re doing everything DIY and did extensive research on the requirements and talked to a few couples online who recently got their visas granted. Based on our research and inquiries, here’s everything we’ve gathered so far:

• 3 Joint bank accounts (1 account we opened together & 2 personal accounts converted to joint)
• 4 Government IDs with same address
• Credit card and phone bills with same address
• Insurance with each other as beneficiaries
• Joint UITF
• Relationship timeline (scrapbook)
• Subdivision certificate
• Travel history (tickets/itinerary/passport stamps/current visas we hold)
• Proof of funds from both parents
• Affidavit of cohabitation
• Affidavit of parental attestation

Are these evidences enough to make a strong application?
I understand that there are certain risks we can’t avoid but we just want to make sure that we have more than enough proof to consider this a strong application. Let me know if there’s anything else we need to acquire. Thank you <3

i applied for disability in July of 2022 (i have autism and also something physically wrong with my knee but my doctor hasn't figured out what it actually is yet.)
after over a year of going back and forth with the stupid disability place and them sending me packets upon packets or the stupidest questions and me filling them out and sending it back and phone calls and a meeting with a psychiatrist and all kinds of jumping through hoops, they denied it. my autism was diagnosed when i was a toddler and they told me i most likely won't get disability without an updated diagnosis, like they think autism is just something i can outgrow or something.
well, the whole time I've been dealing with them I've also been trying to get refered somewhere to get an updated autism diagnosis but it's very hard to find someone who will diagnose adults, is close enough for me to actually go to (because diagnoses like that usually take multiple appointments), takes my insurance, and doesn't have a 2+ year waiting list. my doctor found me one single place that actually met the criteria (it still had like a 3 year waiting list but beggers cant be choosers) and sent a referral for me but they just never got back to my doctor or me because I also called and asked about it. I've also been doing blood work and x rays and physical therapy and trying really hard to figure out what's wrong with my knee but nothing has come up yet so I'm still just suffering with that.
Well, i appealed the disability thing, they sent it to a judge cause that was the next step, i had a hearing with a judge and a job expert and the judge asked me why i felt like i couldn't work and i literally had a breakdown and cried and told him how i had one job before and it was a super basic job at goodwill working in the back sorting books and not dealing with the public but I still couldn't handle it. I explained how working that job made my knee swell up and be in near constant pain and how the job (working barely 10 hours a week) made me so exhausted that I literally couldn't function outside of work. I would go to work, come home, sleep until my next shift and repeat. I felt like a zombie. The only time I would function was the weekends (barely) and all of that energy and time would be spent on meal prepping for the week so I wouldn't starve because I knew I wouldn't have the energy to make food, and I would do the dishes that piled up all week and sometimes if I had enough energy I would even shower on the weekends. I was so depressed and exhausted and not functioning outside of work at all and one day I woke up at 6 am to my alarm for work and i decided I was either going to quit my job or I was going to off myself and i had the self awareness to quit my job instead of trying to delete myself. and i had such a big meltdown and told all of this to the judge and more. and then i had to sit there, still crying and trying to collect myself while the judge talked with the fricken job expert about how many 'low effort, readily available jobs' HYPOTHETICALLY could exist in my town (this was all based on some bullshit guestimating math equation instead of realistic research into the topic) and then he had the audacity to tell me he "wasn't sure" and "needed time to think about it" just to take 3 fricken months to send me a letter denying my case again because, according to their stupid bullshit, i participated in "substantial gainful activity" (the one job i worked for 3 months and quit so I wouldn't commit unalive) therefore i "can't be disabled."
and it just felt like a spit in the face. like this man really listened to me have a mental breakdown about how the easiest job i could find, working 2-3 hours a day 3 days a week, made me so depressed and nonfunctionial that i was about one more shift away from taking myself off this planet and how my knee hurt so bad i literally just wanted to cut my leg off right above it if it would make the pain stop, and about my autism and how i don't feel like a human i just feel like i was shoved into a human suit and thrown on my ass like 'good luck, figure it out.' and he really listened to all that and still decided that 'im not disabled.' and 'theres plenty of jobs I can do, I just have to find one.' like I'm so stressed and depressed and worried about money constantly that I barely have the capacity to take on anything else, let alone another job that's gonna make me wanna blow my brains out again. I got the letter today and I've cried like 3 times about it because it really feels like I'm already down on the ground and he just decided to kick me with spikey steel toed boots.
I have one more appeal left, where it goes to a disability council (whatever that means) and their options are 1. deny it (most likely to happen) 2. send it back to the judge to 'look at it again' (basically guaranteed for it to get denied) 3. approve it (very very highly unlikely) or 4. throw it out (why is that even an option? That's so stupid) so its like an 80%+ chance of it getting denied from here, and if it gets denied at this point then i have to start all over and the last two years of waiting and hoops and paperwork and crying and pain and feeling like a puppet on display trying to "prove I'm disabled" will just mean literally nothing. And that's a really depressing thing to think about, that the last 2 years of my time and effort and humiliation were basically for nothing.
Besides that, if it gets denied again and I have to start all over, and there's no point in even doing that unless i can get new 'evidence' (like an updated autism diagnosis, which I can't because the one place thats close enough, takes my insurance, and actually tests adults, has a 2+ year waiting list and also won't fricken get back to me about even getting me on that stupid waiting list) and even if I do get an updated diagnosis, they can still deny me disability. I hate this so much.
I feel like a giant brick wall has fallen on top of me. I'm so exhausted mentally and I'm so stressed and I'm so tired of worrying about money and not being able to buy things i need and just barely surviving and I'm just so exhausted of it all. i live with my boyfriend and he has disability and it all goes to the bills and stuff so we have water and power and things, but most times we don't have cleaning supplies or toilet paper or things like that because we don't have the money for it. we only have food because we have foodstamps. I've had my whole wardrobe since highschool and I'm down to 2 pairs of shorts and 3 pairs of leggings because they all rip at the thighs after a while and I'm running out but I don't have money for clothes, y'know? And my boyfriends mom owns the house we live in (she bought it so he wouldn't have to worry about rent and stuff, but then told him he has to pay her back rent for all the years he's been here when he has the money) and she recently told me that when/if i get on disability she expects back rent from me all the way from 2021, which would be like $20,000 at this point and that number just keeps building and it feels like a giant tower looming over me. I don't feel like I'm living, I feel like I'm just barely surviving. And i know there are people out there that have bigger worries then running out of toothpaste and shampoo and not being able to afford more, but like. It's still very real worries I have and I just feel like garbage about it and I'm constantly worried about money and it's just so exhausting.
And to have someone look at me and disect my situation and basically tell me that I'm "not disabled" and basically that I dont deserve money that would help me possibly survive is like a punch in the gut. It hurts, a lot. And I'm so exhausted and upset and frustrated and i really don't know what to do anymore, about any of this stuff.

I've been a therapist for about five years. When the pandemic started, I was a new clinician, struggling to find my footing in the field while dealing with grief. Without insurance, I began services at an community mental health agency that offered low-cost sessions via telahealth.
I was frequently transferred between therapists due to high turnover, eventually ending up with a supervisor. Initially, I was excited to work with her, hoping for valuable insights into my professional and personal growth.
However, I've noticed several times through out the past two years that she’s been distracted during our sessions—on Facebook, email, or her phone. Her glasses reflect her screen, so it's quite evident. I addressed this issue with her a few times, and she would become more attentive. However it feels like she continues to slip back into old habits.
During our session today, I was distracted as she typed and clicked her computer. I could also see on her glasses she was on a different screen. If she had glanced at a different screen a few times, what ever. However it was clear she was just straight up not listening at all.
I give my all to my clients and work in community mental health which can be exhausting. I understand the burn out, I also understand zoning out in sessions, but feel this is excessive. For one hour a week I just want to feel heard after listening to others all day.
Right now I’m torn between wanting to confront the behavior one more time, or seeking services elsewhere.
I think the decision is hard for me because she was my therapist when my brother died. Maybe I’m feeling a bit attached to her because of this.
Any outside perspective would be helpful. ❤️❤️❤️

New Flash everyone: the guy who hangs out with Daniel Greene(a pro-fairy rights socialist), is loved by redditors, and got a Hugo award is… woke. Who would have ever seen that coming? But, thanks to Jon Del Arroz making a video about it on May 18th, I am here to repeat the news back to you so there is an easily accessible source as to HOW he’s woke. Everything was revealed back in January 2023, but I want people to understand the implications and narrative that he’s presenting when he says his concerns about fairy rights. By the end of this, you will realize that people calling themselves Christian does not cause them to be immune to wokeness.
In fact, with how Christianity has influenced wokeness into existence, it’s likely a lot of "Christians" are what we can call “first wave wokeness”.
For context, Brandon Sanderson is a Mormon, part of the Latter-Day Saints (LDS). Mormonism is almost exclusively a US issue, and I’ve also noticed that there are a lot of youtubers who tend to be Mormon women(probably because they have other women in the house to do the chores). These people are great with money, big in business, and their church is anti-fairy. A lot of problems the fairy-rights activists have are with Mormon churches, which is strange for Europeans to witness with how open a lot of their churches are, outside of the US. Protestant, evangelical, unitarian, the national church of Denmark, it’s a big list.
But in 2008, Brandon wrote an essay about his Mormon beliefs on how Dumbledore from Harry Potter liked to have wands stirred around in his brown cauldron. His quote:

How does this relate to Dumbledore? I'm not trying to present him as an antagonist or a villain. All I'm saying is that if you believe in the truth of your message, then you shouldn't care if someone decent, respected, and intelligent is depicted as believing differently from yourself. Decent, respected, and intelligent people can be wrong--and you can still respect them. It's okay. That doesn't threaten our points, since we (theoretically) believe that they are eternal and stronger than any argument we could make.

Back in this time, Brandon had only been an author for 3 years, but he won an award for his first published book, Elantris. He was being careful with his words, and his take is considered liberal. He was trying to defend the backlash JK Rowling received for her (poor) choice of virtue signaling and tried to mend this defense with his own religion. Mentioning his religious views is what got him canceled back then, which he later apologized for in 2011:

I cannot be deaf to the pleas of [fairy] couples who want important things, such as hospital visitation rights, shared insurance, and custody rights. At the same time, I accept and sustain the leaders of the LDS church. I believe that a prophet of God has said that widespread legislation to approve [fairy] marriage will bring pain and suffering to all involved.

He was not backing down from his religion yet. His goal post moved to the legal ramifications of the US, which are separate from his church(remember, church and state, supposed to be separate in the US), but he was still saying his religion wanted him to oppose people calling it a marriage and having it in churches. This was a second “cancellation” that didn’t go very far, mostly because he was able to use religion as an excuse for his take, with the Christian Cake Packed With Fudge Scandal not happening yet(2018).
Fast forward to 2023, after he hangs out with a bunch of woke youtubers, and we get a new quote from Brandon:

The church’s first prophet, Joseph Smith, famously taught, “I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves.” My current beliefs are where I’ve arrived on my journey, as I attempt to show the love that Jesus Christ taught. I look forward to seeing further changes in the church, and I work to make sure I am helping from within it to create a place that is welcoming of [fairy] people and ideas. I would love, for example, to see the church recognize [fairy] marriage among its members. Both temporally and eternally. I would support ordaining [tinkerbell] men to the priesthood. (And would support the ordination of women, though that is another issue.)

That’s interesting. It seems like he made a complete 180 on his stance, claims that he’s always believed this new stance, blames Jesus for this new stance, and then doubles down on this new stance by adding female ordination(becoming a priest and higher) and even Tinkerbells. As time went on, he decided that his religion was totally wrong about fairies, and this 13 year difference means way more than the nearly 200 years Mormonism has been around. I believe a fellow Mormon, Shadversity, would love to have a discussion about how any of this makes sense, but I’m starting to feel that he’s the same way. Who knows if Ethan Van Sciver understands Mormonism as well as Brandon Sanderson does, with how easy it is to manipulate prophecies and reinterpret scripture.
But that’s been the point for a while, right?
Wokeness is here to restructure both historical evidence and even religions, in order to shift cultures and social institutions to obey this progressive change. Words are changed in the dictionary, social “norms” are changed to be updated for a “modern audience”, and postmodernists like Foucault were able to trick college kids into thinking the Greeks were all pixie fairies. Once a critical theorist gets their hands on something with power, their goal is not to keep it as it is. It is to keep it for themselves. This is why you will hear these people say everything is subjective, which is secret code for “Look at me: I’m the captain of reality now.”
But wait, it gets better! Brandon Sanderson continued with:

Back in 2007, I was mostly known only in my community, not to the world at large. The essay, then, was directed at my local community, and was more controversial among them (for being too liberal) than it was controversial to the world at large for being [fairy]phobic. That might surprise you, if you’ve read the excerpts that often float around the internet. This was mostly me trying to encourage other members of the church to be more open and welcoming of [fairy] characters and ideas.
That said, the essay does display the casual bigotry common to people who (like myself) have lived lives where we haven’t had to deal with some of the issues common to the lives of people suffering discrimination. Many of the assertions (such as my view on [fairy] marriage) do not reflect my current stance. After writing it, and interacting with those who found it objectionable–even painful–I came to understand them and their experiences better. Though they did not owe me that honor, they gave it freely.

You see, he's honored to hear about the life of a bug chaser.
Brandon cares deeply about the pain he caused to his wallet… I mean the fairies who saw his essay. He was an award winning author back then, he didn’t know it would be a global thing. It was supposed to be only seen by people in Utah, that’s it. This is what we call: bullshit. The woke rely heavily on gaslighting and pretending they’re ignorant of everything, while telling others that they need to learn and understand EVERYTHING about a subject before they are even able to mention it.
He was already big on reddit, he knew all about his fandom, and he knew about his publisher, Tor. The only thing that really changed is that now he is unable to stick to being liberal and he has to present himself as progressive. Why? Well, the new Amazon deal happened recently, and he’s the writer of the series The Wheel of Time. As if Rings of Power wasn’t evidence enough of how Amazon mistreats their properties, Brandon was forced to erase his own past, like Agent J in Men in Black, burning his own hands in the process.
I’m not surprised that he’s woke or even that Christians are falling to this woke inquisition. When I said first wave wokeness, I would like to clarify why it’s the catalyst for all of this stupidity. Wokeness is not of Christian values, but instead a parasite upon Christianity, in the same way Gnosticism and Satanism would be. When Christianity started to allow new sects, and a lot of these were considered valid, the crazy sex cults of the 60s opened the floodgates for a bunch of crazy reinterpretations. It’s the same way as how there are still circles of Christianity that go for flat earth theory or say that dinosaurs don’t exist, with these people usually at the forefront of the home-schooling movement.
It’s not that home-schooling is bad by itself, it’s that bad people use it to then have the good people using it be wrongfully grouped into the same area, in the same way gun-ownership does. This type of bastardization has always been a problem in the US, due to the lack of authority over what makes something categorized as such a thing, thanks to liberalism allowing the freedom to constantly change things. As time went on, this liberalism changed into progressivism, with the key difference being that liberalism is an allowance of change while progressivism is an enforced change. The liberalism of the 1800s allowed the Confederates to claim Christianity approved of their enslavement of black people, by blaming the story of Ham and using scripture to claim it was okay to enslave certain people for generations. We always see this strange cherry-picking of scripture from fake Christians, and this problem has expanded into the Vatican itself with the current and following generations of Popes.
A lot of times, we’ll hear news about how Christians are under attack, a bakery is targeted to expose discrimination, or even where people claim they were banned from twitch for being Christian. But what they get wrong is that they are in the same circle as liberal and progressive Christianity, their openness created this weakness to tourism, and most Christian circles have been taken over in the US since before the 60s. The south has a culture of being liberal, Mormons have a culture of being liberal, protestants are very liberal, all because the US began as a liberal culture in the form of classical liberalism. The libertarian argument is always used by these liberal groups, that changes into the progressive enforcement, and over the years these liberal people get infected by the virus.
Add money to the mix, and we have ourselves an endless chain of liberal minded people falling to wokeness. The “redemption” narrative, along with original sin, from Christianity is currently its main weakness. The appeal to ignorance is another weakness, with people playing skeptic as a snake slithers through the grass. Christianity isn’t the problem by itself, it’s the naivety that comes from blind faith, which then expands into a contradictory blind faith that people are good inside, only to later wonder why everything is changing for the worse when evil people are put in charge. Fantasy stories have been under attack by the woke for quite a while, long before they tried to appropriate Tolkien with Rings of Power.
The fantasy that is controlled by the woke is an extension to their attack on religion, because to them a fantasy story is no different than a bible. Mythological presentation, symbolic themes, a dream-like world to present morals to follow; the entire thing has been used by Brandon to then have him later claim that he’s always had fairy characters since the beginning. Sure, his religion says fairies are bad, but then he virtue signals by claiming he’s always made fiction about how they’re good. He would never say this if the publishing world made sense and if publishers were the way they were in the 1950s. That is because he would never have to choose between religion and money back then, with money always mattering more to the typical materialist.
I’m sure people will say that I’m being hard on Christians, or that I’m evil for saying this, or even that I am a satanist for noticing. These people would only be angry at the truth being said, which is the opposite of what Christianity teaches. Fantasy writers, like Brandon, have a lot of supporters, with this support merging between the woke and Mormons. So many feel that they need to make sense of their fandom, so they claim their religion is wokeness, converting it into blind Satanism. This is far from the truth and we need to condemn those who focus solely on radical subjectivity.
Especially if they blame God for their stupid takes, like how Brandon does now.

Very Long story here. i own a 2023 hyundai elantra. bought in October 2022 brand new straight off the truck. 13,500 miles currently. I had a collision one month ago. The day of, I had my car towed to the hyundai dealership within 2 hours of the collision. one week later an insurance adjuster went out to create an estimate bill of my vehicle and I got my pay out. Repairs included replace one wheel and one tire, replace struts and springs on suspension and replace driver side control arm. it is 27 days later and the day my car is scheduled for pickup, they tell me my battery is dead. will not hold a charge. and they had to jump start the battery to bring it into the shop. my car is 1.5 years old. i’ve never had a battery issue EVER. even after the collision my battery was fine. I have time stamped video evidence of my car being driven onto the tow truck. clearly showing my battery was fine. No battery replacement is listed in the estimate bill from the insurance adjuster. Car batteries can last from 3-5 years. they don’t randomly die after 1.5 years and this is a brand new car! I never run my battery like that. I know to be weary of the dealership because they just want your money and will add on extra things or lie to you out of greed. I told them go ahead and replace the battery. obviously can’t drive it out of there if the car won’t start. I requested to take back my old battery core to see for myself if it will hold a charge. What can I do? can I fight? get extra money from insurance because it exceeds the claim amount? It’s suspicious they waited until the day of pickup to tell me my battery is dead. if it was really dead or having issues, the insurance adjuster would’ve had it on the estimate bill. Or, the dealership would’ve told me awhile ago the battery was dead, not wait till day of pickup.

Hi everyone, sorry if this is the wrong tag but idk what this could be classified under. I told this story to my work colleague and he suggested I come here to tell my situation because I have no clue what to do. As explained by the title, my uncle died just a couple of days ago in Eden, North Carolina completely out of the blue and I believe his wife murdered him. I want to preface that I was not present during any of these events and this is just what I have been hearing from my mom, memaw, and my other uncle. My uncle that died and his wife are living in my memaw's house and my other uncle lives there too. My uncle had been complaining about crippling stomach pain for the past year or so but whenever he would go to the doctor, they wouldn't find anything physically wrong in his stomach, intestines, nothing. It got so bad that he started the process to get disability and according to my Memaw, he only had a few weeks until his first paycheck would have been sent to him. My uncle's wife has never worked a day in her life because they got married right after she turned 18 and she's been a SAHM/W ever since. She has tried to get on disability and apply for social security, however has been denied because, well, she's not disabled and she's never worked. However she was told that she could get my uncle's social security if he died. (Red flag). Anyway. The night before my uncle was found dead, he and his wife got into an argument over a brisket being cooked. His wife was yelling at my uncle because 'she wanted to cook it' but he started cooking it because 'it expired yesterday and we didn't spend money on a big piece of meat just for you to let it go bad in the fridge so I'm cooking it'. They kept arguing until my uncle stormed out of the house to the shed in the backyard and while his wife says she didn't follow him out, none of the people in the house can say she was in the house after he left, but they didn't see her leave either. That morning his wife wakes up and, according to her, 'thought (my uncle) might still be in the shed' (Red flag, why is that your first thought?) She walks to the shed and he is slumped over, blue and purple in the face. She proceeds to WALK back into the house and just holler at the top of her lungs "THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IS DEAD!" to the MOTHER and BROTHER of the deceased. IDK about you, but my first reaction to seeing my dead husband would be "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" not some tella-novella rehearsed BS. Anyway. The police arrive to the scene and the first thing she says to the police is "He died from a heroin overdose". ????? That to me raised all kinds of red flags. How does she know? Where is the evidence? Where is the injection point? WHY are you saying this to police when "The love of your life" could have been murdered or had a heart attack or something? Now they aren't going to take this seriously and will just chalk it up to "Another dead druggie". The wife then proceeds to disappear after the police arrive and this is when my mom and I were called. In the time it took my mom and I to get to my memaw's house, the wife proceeds to post a video onto facebook about how my uncle is dead. I managed to record it before it got taken down and I can link the video if necessary however essentially the video starts off with her straight faced talking at the camera asking the passenger in the vehicle who is her DAUGHTER "How do I know if I'm going? (recording) I don't know if I'm going. Ugh. Hello everyone..." And then her face freaking contorts into the fakest cry ever as she starts screaming that my uncle died that morning and she doesn't know what to do and starts begging for people to help HER. Not a single tear is shed in the whole video and my cousin looks like she's thinking "wtf?" At the whole display. After the video, she proceeds to log in to my uncle's FB account and starts posting how he died and is begging people to donate to her cash app because "We need flowers and the car insurance is due". She then starts commenting on posts offering condolences, still logged in to my uncle's FB account making it all about her and how "She can't sleep or eat I miss my husband", but then she immediately starts trying to sell his clothes and work boots on marketplace! For added information, his wife is a huge drug addict. She constantly complains she's in pain and can't do anything just so she can go to the emergency room and get pain pills. She's currently on suboxone because SHE does heroin and miraculously her suboxone got 'stolen' the day my uncle was found dead. The only substances my uncle did were weed and redbulls, and even then he had stopped drinking redbulls and started drinking more water. When he had moved in with my memaw, he was 125(ish) pounds. At the time of his death, he had gained almost 25 pounds. my uncle was getting healthier and suddenly he's found dead in a shed by his wife after an argument about him cooking something she wanted to fix him and her first reaction is to play the grieving, heartbroken wife of an overdose victim (Which she is now saying he OD'd on purpose) who had never done heroin in his life and now she is using his death for pitty money and trying to sell his belongings before the body has even been released from Raleigh. As far as I know, we're getting an autopsy report but I'm just afraid that because of his wife saying he died of an overdose they aren't going to take the autopsy seriously and since his daughters don't want to bury him and want him cremated if he was murdered then his wife is going to get away with it because any evidence of wrong doing will be incinerated. Sorry for this long post and my tangents but I just want answers. Is there anything I can do for a murder investigation to take place? Does any of this sound fishy to any of you? LMK if there's any other information you need or if something sounds fishy on my part.

I'll try to keep this to the relevant details to get to the question.
We were hit by someone in a parking lot. They admitted they did it. There is photographic evidence. There is a police report very clearly showing all of this. The insured will not answer calls from their insurance, delaying the process.
Today in a call with this insurance company they became aggressive when we asked if they could move forward with an adjustment while they wait on a response. They suddenly demanded that they be able to take possession of the vehicle and transport it to Copart while they wait to appraise it and that the will likely total the car. It seemed that they were using this as some sort of strange intimidation tactic.
The value of equivalent model year and mileage cars is about $15,000. We have two quotes for the repair at $3500. It is just a door replacement and paint. It seems totally unreasonable to transport it to a lot where it is at risk for further damage. It seems odd to us that they are trying to total a car that they have not seen. They have already had a tow service contact us to try and pick it up.
I do not want to give over possession of the car as it seems unnecessary and likely to cause further issues. Am I obligated to allow them to take possession of the vehicle in this manner to provide an estimate/adjustment?
As an aside, I am perfectly happy to pay out of pocket for the repairs and take them to court. I just don't want to do anything that may damage my case if it comes to that for some reason.

Hi there. Totally new here. I lost my engagement ring on a beach a few weeks ago. I have it insured for the past 15 years or so, ever since I got it. I called the insurance company and they sent someone to my house to discuss the claim. I thought it was pretty standard but then he was asking other questions unrelated to the ring incident. Questions about debt, liens, etc. I then realized after looking at his card he was an investigator. I guess i should have realized this prior but I didnt really think anything of it. We do have plenty of debt. The claim is for 20K. Our debt is close to that. I disclosed everything obviously but then he asked things like do you have pictures from the beach (I didnt). Ring doorbell footage of me leaving and coming home that day. The ring did catch me coming back but didnt catch me leaving as I went out the side door. Everything I told him was truthful but I feel like he was insinuating fraud based on our debt. I asked as such and even said If i was being honest, I wouldnt ever spend that much on a piece of jewelry ever again. Things are different now obviously. I have 3 kids. Im old. More practical, etc. But the fact that I have debt does not preclude the fact that I lost a ring that was insured. I understand why it was asked but can they deny my claim based on that? Or lack of evidence? I dont know how else to prove I lost it. I did call the police department. I gave him the name of the officer I spoke to. I just feel like he saw our debt and immediately thought we were trying to scam.

The title says it all. My ex and I were together for 10+ years so he knows all my personal information ie. SSN, mothers maiden name, childhood best friend, first pet…everything. Our custody situation has been ongoing and on a semi regular basis my ex will try to access my accounts to look “evidence”. He had a print off of the time I postponed my car insurance payment at our last hearing 🤦🏼‍♀️ He’s attempted access to my banking, credit cards and social media. Is there a way to prove it’s him? It feels like harassment, but without proof I know there’s nothing I can do. I change my passwords regularly and have 2 factor authentication on everything so he can’t get access again. I do have a custody lawyer but he’s expensive and I’m pretty sure there isn’t any way to prove it’s my ex.

Afternoon, Just received an item not as described return request + message from buyer of a high value trading card with photos of a card that I didn’t send worth 1% the value. I recorded video of packaging and sending correct item with post office tracking number although I’ve been told this has little weight with eBay. The buyer is definitely trying to defraud me as the low value card has been switched into the same top loader (these have an uncommon and no longer sold brand mark on them) but strangely is a long running account with high feedback. Do I go straight to eBay with all my evidence of believed fraud straight away or do I politely and gently push the buyer to back down first with photo/ time stamped evidence etc and request for more details that I can provide for mail fraud police report and Royal Mail insurance claim - to see if they’ll back down?
I don’t want to give them to chance to get away Scott free and go on hitting other sellers if possible but I do obviously want the best chance of getting my money back. I’ll put in a mail fraud police report for the buyers address either way as it’s not likely the first nor last attempt.
Apologies that this is a common question, just not quite sure which way to go. TIA

There are a number of blindly parroted statements that keep getting posted here over and over via circle jerks that need to stop considering they're patently false and can be disproven by anyone capable of taking 10 seconds to run a google search.
I know that's a high bar to clear for many people, so I went ahead and ran the numbers for you. I chose to use Fords since they're the most common model out there, and have the widest range in available sizes (full size, modern midsize, old compact, new trucklet).
Full size trucks have not grown appreciably in decades. Everyone always parrots that a midsize today is the same size as a full size from 20 years ago. This is flat-out false when accounting for like-configuration.

Truck	1997 F-150 4x4	2004 F-150 4x4	2024 F-150 4x4	2024 F-150 4x4
Cab Config	Extended/6.5'	Extended/6.5'	Extended/6.5'	Crew/5.5'
Length	226.3"	227.8"	231.7"	231.7"
Curb Weight	4478lbs	5265lbs	4895lbs	4941lbs
Width	79.5"	78.9"	79.9"	79.9"
Height	75"	75.6"	77.2"	77.2"
GVWR	6200lbs	6950lbs	6550lbs	6550lbs

For starters, truck lengths in the 80's and 90's (even early 2000's) didn't include the rear bumper in the length calculation. Once this length is added in (I added 4" if they weren't included, which was for the 97 and 04 F-150s and the 08 Ranger), they're nearly the same when accounting for like-configuration (cab size and bed length). The additional length is due to cabs being extended slightly in the mid 00's to add additional legroom for passengers. This is why the rear seats of a modern crew cab truck are arguably the most comfortable rear passenger seats of any vehicle available outside of something like a Maybach or Rolls Royce. Note that I also included a popular modern crew cab in this comparison, noting that it isn't appreciably different than the most common spec of yesteryear, the extended cab/short bed configuration.
Additionally, widths have been the same 79.X" forever. This is due to anything over 80" requiring clearance lights and being subject to additional regulations, which manufacturers want to avoid.
As for height, and this one is a surprise to me: I was ready to concede, but the height of newer half tons has grown less than 2" for a truck in like-configuration (usually meaning 4x4 in this case) over the last 27 years. Hood heights have grown tremendously as cooling requirements have grown for the increase in towing and payload ratings, but overall is relatively unchanged. EDIT: Since soooo many people got pissed about this, let me touch on hood heights a bit more. I tried looking for concrete information on hood height comparisons across various generations, but there is nothing out there except anecdotal evidence or ancient forum posts of people holding tape measures up to every type of vehicle imaginable (there was one comparing to a late model Camaro in that thread). After going through 4 pages, the only notable one I was able to find was an OBS 2WD Chevy 2500 having a hood height of 48". Additionally, I found this image of a 7th gen F-150 from the 80's. The stock tires would be 235/75R15s with a diameter of 29", for reference. Edit 2: Thanks to RelativeMotion1 for this comment that gives us a data point of 50" for the hood height of a 2022 F-150 .
Going even further, with another shocker, when accounting for like-configuration, the length of the Ranger hasn't grown appreciably in length either. A 2008 model and a 2023 model in extended cab/6' bed configuration are nearly the same at 209" long. The newer one is indeed wider and taller, however. Unless you go to a regular cab/6' bed Ranger, an old model Ranger is going to be identical in every way to a Maverick except being slightly longer (209" vs 199").

Truck	2008 Ranger 4x4	2023 Ranger 4x4	2008 Ranger 4x4	2024 Maverick AWD
Cab Config	Extended/6'	Extended/6'	Regula6'	Crew/4.5'
Length	209.6"	210.8"	192.9"	199.7"
Curb Weight	3668lbs	4354lbs	3444lbs	3693lbs
Width	71.3"	75.5"	71.3"	72.6"
Height	67.7"	71.1"	67.7"	68.7"
GVWR	5140lbs	6050lbs	4780lbs	5180lbs

Another common thing that comes up is towing capacities. Vehicles in Europe have much higher tow ratings than equivalent models sold in the US. This is for tongue weight: trailers in the us are set up for 10-15% of the weight of the trailer being tongue weight, vs 5-7% in Europe. This is for stability, particularly at high speeds. In most of the US (yes Californians, I know trailers in your state are limited to 55mph, but you're the exception, not the norm), there is no separate speed limit for vehicles towing trailers. If you want to tow your trailer at 80mph across west Texas, you are more than welcome to, assuming the trailer tires are rated for it. That extra tongue weight ensures that the trailer remains stable and doesn't develop sway.
This added tongue weight leads to another common misconception: curb weight vs gross vehicle weight rating (GVWR).
Curb weight is what most people think of when they think of weight: how much does the vehicle weigh when sitting static and not running or loaded. GVWR is the maximum weight the vehicle can be loaded to legally while hauling a load (total weight on both of the vehicle axles combined). Maximum payload capacity is the difference between these two values.
One particular thing to note is that tongue weight of a trailer counts as payload on the vehicle and eats into your available payload. For example (completely made up numbers, not any particular vehicle), many people will see that their vehicle is rated to tow 5000lbs and has a payload capacity of 1000lbs or so. What they don't realize is that when you hook up that 5000lb trailer, you immediately lose 500lbs of your available payload capacity to the tongue weight of the trailer. If that 5000lb trailer is a camper, you can now only haul yourself, and maybe 1 other person and a small amount of gear, at best. You have a total of 500lbs of gear you can load in the vehicle rather than a full 1000lbs. No simply "hooking up a 5000lb trailer, loading up 4 people, 4 bags of gear, a couple coolers, and a dog" and going camping for a weekend. You'll be well over your vehicle's GVWR.
If you exceed this rating and were to get into an accident, it wouldn't be uncommon for your insurance to proceed to drop you post-incident at best, or outright refuse to cover you due to operator negligence, at worst.
Additionally, the climate and topography of the continental US, particularly the central and western areas, is much harsher than mainland Europe. This is exemplified in the standard that all US vehicles are tested to to determine max tow rating: SAE J2807.
This standard specifies a number of grueling tests to ensure a vehicle is more than capable of hauling its rated load:

• 5 launches in forward up a 12% grade for 16' in under 15 minutes
• 5 launches in reverse up a 12% grade for 16' in under 15 minutes
• 0-30mph in under 12 seconds
• 0-60mph in under 30 seconds
• 40-60mph in under 18 seconds
• The Davis Dam Grade: an 11.4 mile run up a grade in minimum 100F heat with the AC set to max cooling, while maintaining a minimum speed of 40mph. The vehicle must experience no failures, warning lights, error codes, cooling issues, or loss of coolant during this test.
• Trailer sway stability tests
• 20-0mph in under 80ft braking test, trailer must remain within an 11.5' wide lane

If your vehicle passes all of those tests at a given trailer weight, it is now certified to tow that weight. Every possible engine and axle configuration is tested independently.
Now please, for the love of god, can we stop with asinine comments we've seen such as "a Ford Maverick is the same size as a full size truck from 20 years ago", because newsflash, it's not:

Truck	1997 F-150 4x4	2024 Maverick AWD
Cab Config	Regula6.5'	Crew/4.5'
Length	206.2"	199.7"
Curb Weight	3850lbs	3693lbs
Width	79.5"	72.6"
Height	75"	68.7"
GVWR	5290lbs	5180lbs

If you are like me, you have a secret limit in your heart of how much effort you can/will put into something. This is highly inconvenient because if I deem that I have put the reasonable amount of effort into a task, and it either goes wrong or spawns a series of follow-up tasks, I will have a strong urge to let it go. And sometimes it's not something that I can or should let go.
For instance, earlier this year I noticed a problem with my health insurance. I should have met my deductible, but I was still paying full-price for my meds. I could see on the website that I had overpaid my deductible by about $900. It took me weeks to get around to actually calling the insurance, and when I did, they figured out that the prescription plan for some reason was not syncing with the rest. They fixed the issue and gave me the instructions to go about requesting a refund for the overpayment. I needed receipts from the actual transactions. Which I had. It was all there. Then a lot of life stuff happened and it was months later, and I was finally was ready to start the process. Only when I checked the website, it didn't show an overpayment anymore. I thought, "Oh my god, they just deleted it. They're pretending it didn't happen. I'm going to have to fight for it. I need to get every transaction and EOB and pharmacy receipt to prove it." I started gathering the evidence but every time there was a minor roadblock or added task, I could feel myself letting it slip away. It was going to be one of those huge, shameful ADHD taxes. I wanted so bad to keep going but it was like swimming upriver. I knew that if I actually did my part, and the insurance company just stalled long enough, I was going to let it go. I felt sick.
Then, Saturday, I got a check from them, out of the blue, for the $900. It was gone from the website because they'd reprocessed the claims and that was that. Suddenly this Herculean job disappeared, and I legit cried. What a great start to the weekend!

Hello,
Has anybody had a home visit from USCIS? My wife and I submitted our I-485, I-130, I-765, & I-131 in April 2023. We've been married for almost two years now, and we submitted as much evidence as possible, including bank statements, insurance, etc. I received my I-765 approval in November 2023 and we had an interview in December 2023 (We were separated, my wife was for 1 hour and I was 45 minutes, our answers machted 90%, the agent was rude and very strong with us) and my I-131 in March 2024. (We are two womens, 24 years old and 29 years old, I am from Colombia and my wife from USA, I am not sure where is my office field but we live in Madison, WI and our interview was in Milwaukee, WI)
On May 2nd, two immigration officers called me around 8:30 am, informing me that they were at my apartment. I had to go there and open the door. They took photos of our pictures, correspondence, toothbrushes, closet, etc. They were very nice and asked a couple of questions, but not too many. My wife was at work, and we live with my cousin. They asked to see my cousin's bedroom and also asked me if he has kids (he does not). They opened a folder and showed me face pictures of two kids (I don't know who they are), and on the left side was a face picture of my cousin (all pictures without backgrounds). They also requested to see my call history, text history with my wife, and took screenshots of those.
Before calling me, they went to my landlord's office requesting my original application. My landlord was not comfortable giving them any information without my authorization. They said that was okay and informed her that if they needed to obtain that information, they would give her a court order to do so.
The visit lasted no more than 15 minutes. On the way downstairs, they requested to see the mailbox to check if our names were there and took a photo of it.
Now, I am not sure what the next step is. I asked them, and they told me that I should expect to hear from them soon. They should send their notes and photos to the USCIS agent assigned to my case.
Has anyone had a similar experience? Should I expect another home visit or a visit to my job? Also, we own a property, but it is currently rented out. Should we expect a visit to that house?
UPDATE: A question left me a bit confused when they asked for my wife's passport. Unfortunately, I didn't quite understand the question because I speak little English. I thought they were asking for my passport. At that moment, I couldn't recall where she had put her passport. After the visit, I remembered she had it in her car because she had lost her driver's license and was using the passport as identification. Due to my nervousness at that moment, I responded, 'She doesn't have it,' but what I meant was she didn't have it in our house. They interpreted my response as if she didn't have one at all, which has left me somewhat pensive.

Islams judging system is a failure
Hey, Ex-muslim here and I will talk about my opinion why the judging system, on if you go to heaven or not, in Islam is a failure with many flaws :3
Before I present my points, some things I wanna mention: There are certain points a person must have to be judged:

1. Must have reached puberty 2.Must be able to think normally (no disablity) 3.Must have known about Islam and the oppurtunity to learn about Islam more 

And there are also things a person must have done to get to heaven:

1. Believe in the one true god Allah 2.Must have lived his life according to the Quran and hadiths (no sinning, pilgrimage, etc.) 

With these things in mind, let's stars with the first point:

1. CHANGING RELIGION

Have you ever heard about "belief perservance"? It is a cognitve bias¹, which makes it hard for someone to let their beliefs go and change their opinion. There are also different "levels" of it, an example for a belief perservance would be:
Imagine a village, where the people think that red berries are healthy, and the white berries make you sick. Now, because the parents fear that they children could get sick, they teach their children that red berries are helathy, and that white berries make you sick. These kids then grow up and teach it their kids the same thing yade yade.
But the thing is: both of these berries, the red and the white one, are the exact same berry, except the colour.
And here comes the interesting part: Making these kids, even when they become grown up adults, understand, that these 2 berries are the same, is nearly impossible. These kids have believed this thing, that red berries are healthy and white ones not, their whole life, so even if you were to come to them with solid evidence that shows that the berries are the same, the probability of them changing their belief is still incredibly small. They believe it so much, that even if you give them the white berry to try, they will actually feel sick.
This is belief perservance simply explained. And, maybe you already noticed, religion uses belief perservance in nearly a perfect way in my opinion. By teaching children to believe in Islam (or any other religion), you have basically insured that this person will believe in this for their whole life. In my example, I said that they believed that white berrys make you sick, and in religion, it is basically "if you believe in anything other than Islam, you will burn in hell", which is even smarter, because hell as a punishment is so scary for many people, that they don't even dare to question their belief.
The same thing also goes for other religion, like christianity. They do the same thing as Islam: teaching their kids to believe in Jesus. Also for these children to leave their belief is incredibly unlikely, and this is actually what my 1. argument is about:
"Choosing our religion is not our choice, but the choice of our parents and our enviroment."
It is not fair. Generally spoken, a kid, born in a christian family, will live and die as a christian. Generally spoken, a kid, born in a muslim family, will live and die as a muslim.
And as I said, one of the requirements to get to heaven, is to be muslim.
So in which family you are born plays a CRUCIAL role on your future belief. This means, someone born in a muslim family has WAY BETTER chances to get in heaven, than someone born in a christian family. This is fcking gamble, you either have luck or you most probably burn in hell. And according to Quran, Allah hasn't done anything unfair, but this seems soooo unfair to people, not born in muslim familys.

1. EVIDENCE According to many muslims, the quran and the hadiths hold many things, which are evidences for Islam's divinity. But the problem is, people react differently on evidence. An example would be 21:30, where it says:

"Have those who disbelieved not considered that the heavens and the earth were a joined entity, and then We separated them?"
For some, this seems like a description of the Big Bang and thereby a big evidence for Islam, because the scientific theory of Big Bang was founded more then 1000 years later.
But for other people, this verse is weird, because the earth was created billions of years after the big bang, so saying the earth and heaven were joined is false.
But to this, people who see it as an evidence say that earth is just meant metaphorically or the energy of the earth was meant by that and not the earth literally or something else.
Now, both of these groups have different opinions on this verse and both of them are right in their own way.
The people who see it as an evidence don't necessarily do it because they are searching for any evindence proving Islam or something like that, but because they really see it as one.
And the people who don't see this verse as an evidence, don't necessarily do it because they are egoistic and stubborn, but because they really don't see it as an evidence.
It only comes upto on how you perceive this verse. It is upto our brain on if he perceives this verse as an evidence or not.
And again, it is not fair. While some people perceive these things as evidence for the divinity of Islam, other people don't. It is upto our brain on how it perceives and processes this information, not us. And if god chooses to give me a brain which doesn't perceives such verses as evidence, but then punishes me, because I didn't believe in Islam, then it is absolutely not fair. It is again gambling. Either you have luck and have a "good" brain or you are fcked.
Little bonus fact to this verse: The verse where it says that the earth and heaven were joined then seperated, originatea actually from the sumerian and egyptian mythologie, which existed before Islam. Momo probably just took this story and put it in his own book.

1. CIRCUMSTANCES

The circumstances which a person is in, play a big role on their beliefs too. Imagine a poor women and her baby, who live on the street. She can't find a job so he begs for her money. And there is also a open library near where she lives, it is completely free. So, this person will be judged, because she has all the fullfills all requirements: she reached puberty, has no disability and knows about Islam and could learn more about it, thanks to the free library.
But is it fair? Do you really think a woman, who lives on the streets with her baby, will have the priviledge to question about this universe and a higher-being? No. No, this person will much rather think about how she is going to care for her child today. She wont care about religions or god, she will care about surviving. And if this person would die, she would go to hell, because she didn't believe in Allah.

1. DEPRESSION/SUICIDE According to Islam, people who commit suicide will burn in hell. And this fact is something horroundes. Ofc there are many reasons for suicide but I'm gonna take depression as an example for what I mean in this point. Depression is something incredibly hard. I had a friend who actually took his life because he suffered under depression, and he was one of the most happy and strongest person I knew. Depression can lead people into so much mental pain that even the once most happiest and strongest kill themselves. If every person on this earth had depression, believe me, only a small number of people could really come out of it. It is really something awful.

Abd like many things, having depression is not under our control. Things like traumatic accidents can cause depression, and it is not up to us if these will happen or not, but upto god.
And that's not fair. While some people have to suffer under depression, many other people live without it. Is this fair? Depression is something terrible and that god actually punishes people when they kill themselves because of it is even more awful.
Why do some people have to suffer under depression while others not? Having depression increases of someone going to hell in a big way, so I don't see how this is not supposed to be extremely unfair against people suffering from it.

1. ALLAH HIMSELF (?)

According to many hadiths and even some quran verses, we can understand that everything is already made. If we are going to be a good or a bad person, what we will do etc. is all already choosen by Allah.
MISHKAT AL-MASABIH 79 "God recorded the fates of all creatures 50,000 years before creating the heavens and the earth."
SAHIH AL-BUKHARI 1362 "There is none among you, and not a created soul, but has place either in Paradise or in Hell assigned for him and it is also determined for him whether he will be among the blessed or wretched."
It also determined for us, if we are going to be good or bad, we don't determine that, according to this sahih hadith. There are actually many other hadiths that say the same thing: It is determined if we are going to be a good, or a bad person. We don't determine that, but Allah does.
SAHIH AL-BUKHARI 318 "Then if Allah wishes (to complete) its creation, the angel asks, (O Lord!) Will it be a male or female, a wretched or a blessed, and how much will his provision be?"
There are also verse in the Quran itself which say that if we are going to believe or not is not upto us, but upto Allah. We can't choose to believe, allah does.
QURAN 2:7 Allah has sealed their hearts and their hearing, and their sight is covered. They will suffer a tremendous punishment.
Here, Allah says that he had covered the hearts, ears and eyes, so that they wont see the truth (aka Islam being true). Now tell me, why is it so, that not even I can choose to be a person who believes or not?
¹cognitve bias: cognitve bias is a thing is psychlogy. Cognitve bias influence the way of how we process information, sometimes even without conciously. There are many different bias, "belief perservanc" is just one of them.
²Ofc you can debate on wether it is true or not, but for this example, I will pretend that it is true

Hey all,
Happy to pay for $300-$400 for assistance, collaboration, or even the the materials themselves.
Need some realistic samples of documents used as inputs and outputs for the commercial P&C insurance process. Looking primarily for items like a commission statement, a policy, etc. Have a representative ACORD and SOV already.
Can anyone point me in the right direction or hop on a quick call to help?

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ApplicationLarge2625 posting in AITAH
Original post also posted in AmITheAsshole, both original posts deleted
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Content Warning : false CSA allegations
Original - 17th May 2024
Update - 18th May 2024
​
AITA for giving my daughter a breakdown of what it cost to raise her when she asked me for her university funds?
​
My daughter Ava was a handful growing up. Her dad passed away when she was 5 and even with therapy she was a very angry child.
I still love her very much. She is my daughter and I would do anything for her that I can. Her dad didn't have a lot of insurance but enough to pay off a small house and set aside an emergency fund and top up my daughter's 529 education fund. I kept adding to it over the years. Not much but as I could.
When she was 11 I met and married my husband. I thought Ava was okay with it. She never brought up any problems to me or in our therapy sessions.
She was not. When she was 13 she accused him of something inappropriate. I called the cops immediately. He was arrested and he lost his job. He was innocent. She did it to get rid of him.
We divorced.
I was obviously heartbroken. I did my best not to take it out on her. I did punish her. She started acting out. She got expelled from school. Then another.
I ended up having to send her to a private school. Even with a voucher it was expensive. It worked though. She is graduating this year with honors and a scholarship.
She asked me about the money in her account. I said it was all gone. She got very upset because her scholarship won't cover all costs. Even with financial aid she will still be paying a fair amount.
I said I would cosign a student loan for what she needs. She said that she wanted to know where the money went that I wasted.
So I got out a pen and paper and wrote it all down.
The cost of my divorce. The rising cost of living that I paid for by myself since I didn't have a partner. Her tuition and fees for private school.
By the end she was crying and saying that I was blaming her for everything. I never have. I did punish her for the trouble she caused with my ex but I think that was reasonable.
She is upset that she will have to take out a loan. I also made it very clear that I would not be responsible for paying it back.
She thinks I'm being cruel by saying that she is responsible for stupid things she did as a child. I'm not. But I cannot pull the money I had to spend because of her out of my ass.
​
Comments
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DontAskMeChit
NTA. I'm sorry for your ex, I hope he has recovered from the lie and is doing well. She asked what happened to the money and you showed her. There are consequences and she is now facing them. Unfortunately, no matter what you do, she will find a way to blame you. Try to get her back into counseling if she agrees. Just know you did nothing wrong, and take care of yourself as well.

OOP: My ex is okay. We still talk. He got e new job. He is still angry. He wants nothing to do with her.

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Old_Sheepherder_630
INFO: Does she admit the abuse accusation was untrue?

OOP: Yes.

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Hot-Freedom-5886
NTA. At 13, your daughter would have known the possible ramifications of her actions. Maybe not the financial ones, but definitely the legal ones.

OOP: She knew what she was doing.

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laurasdiary
Info: how do you know your ex husband was innocent?

OOP: The police investigated. The charges were dropped for lack of evidence. Also there was evidence that what she claimed was impossible. I will give one example. My ex worked in his truck. She claimed he came home during the day. His truck had a tracker from his employer and a camera that showed he was on the other side of the city.

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thetroublewithyouis
if you co-sign for a loan- you could end up being responsible for paying it back.
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Ser_Tinnley
THIS -- cosigning means you put your credit history on the line to help her get approved for the loans, and in the event she defaults, YOU become responsible. DO NOT DO THIS if you do not intend to ensure she can make her payments.
​
**Judgement - NTA*\*
​
Update - 1 day later
​
Thank you all for your comments. Even the ones where you called me a raving bitch for calling the cops after my daughter's allegations.
​
First
My ex was completely cleared. He was never home at the times she alleged the SA. We have security cameras in my house. There are exactly zero videos of him entering her room or being inappropriate with her in the common areas. I have already commented on the other evidence that got the charges against my ex dropped. She admitted the truth and said that she was doing it to get him out of our house.
He is doing okay now. He has a new job and he and I still talk. Her excuse was that she didn't think I would immediately call the cops. She thought I would just kick him out since it is my house. She felt trapped and like she couldn't back down. She has never apologized to him. She has been in therapy since she was five. Both on her own and with me. To my knowledge she never mentioned anything about SA to her therapist. And they are mandatory reporters.
​
Second.
I told her that I will not be cosigning her loans. I told her that I will be backing her up and doing my best to make sure that she does not default but I am not risking my home or my future for her.
She fully understands now where her savings went. She is upset with herself mostly now. She realizes that the private school was my last choice. And only necessary because of choices she made.
Thank you all for your help.
​
Third.
Since I do not care about karma I will be giving this account to either u/Frickfrell or u/VermilionOcelot tomorrow.
They are welcome to delete the posts or sell the account for the $.59 it is worth.
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Comments (there are also a lot of comments vilifying the daughter for the false allegation)
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DissolvedDreams

My ex was completely cleared

But the shame never goes away.
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LoudManagement6634
Yeah there’s a whole former workplace of people who think he’s a pedophile. That’s legitimately traumatic.
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Raisins_Rock
Sounds like the breakdown of expenses gave her a reality check she needed
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cloistered_around

Since I do not care about karma I will be giving this account to either u/Frickfrell or u/VermilionOcelot tomorrow.

What a weird casual thing to say. (giving an account, not the karma bit)
oceansapart333
Someone else clarified in another comment that apparently these two were accusing her of karma farming.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

Hi folks, I recently got married to my fiancée who is a US Citizen. But we don’t live together currently (have been in Long Distance Relationship for a year). She is living in the east coast and I live in CA. She is planning to move here in a few months once her job situation is sorted. But I wanted to proceed with the concurrent filing of I-130 and I-485 as soon as possible. I went through some of the posts on this sub reddit about the documents needed for evidence of marriage.
In our case we obviously don’t have a joint lease, additionally we don’t even have a joint bank account. But we are planning to open one soon. I have her added as an additional user for my credit cards, car insurance, and as a beneficiary for my life insurance. Also, we have a lot of our photos together from various events like our proposal, traditional engagement ceremony, trips together (domestic and international) and photos with each other’s families. Should all of this be enough or do folks here recommend having any additional documents? I would like to start the application as soon as possible.
Would really appreciate any help or feedback. Thanks!!