i have discovered that sniffing clove essential oil multiple times when there's currently a large dose of caffeine in your body gives you this noticeably strong potentiating effect, and clove essential oil is marketed as being "stimulating", which backs this up. It makes your vision suddenly very fast and makes you very energetic and hyperactive and gives you sharp audiovisual distortions and i have noticed my eyes uncontrollably . I remember once telling a friend about this last year and he said that the effects that I was describing "sounds like crack".

Credit to u/SpacePaladin15 for the NOP Universe.
Hey, I hope everyone's doing well!
Today we return to the namesake of this fic, an actual lesson about animals. This one focuses on Koalas! One of Australia's most recognisable critters. I hope you enjoy.
It's hardly worth mentioning, seeing as I'm an infrequent poster at the best of times, but I'll not have another chapter out for a few weeks due to limited free time and devoting most of my writing time to an upcoming ficnapping. Be sure to look out for that!
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Memory transcription subject: Rysel, Venlil Environmental Researcher
Date [Standardised human time]: 8th September 2136
“Koalas!”
Bernard’s energised voice boomed through the air as the classroom's monitor flickered into life, images of this paws lecture topic popping up one after the other until the entire screen was filled with a collage of furry quadrupeds.
Squee! I’ll never get tired of this, it’s all so cool!
As usual the sight of something new stirred immediate discussion, hushed murmurs swelling into vibrant discourse in little more than a heartbeat. Most of the class swiftly huddled together into small herds to bounce ideas around while the rest opted to stick to the solace of their own thoughts as they took in the display.
I’d be quite happy in either situation, though seeing as Sandi had already sunk into deep concentration and Kailo had peeled off to talk with Ennerif and Solenk, it seemed the decision had been made for me on this occasion. Wasting no more time on idle inspection of the people around me, I focused my full attention forward, eager to form first impressions before the lesson began in earnest.
Now then, time to make some educated guesses. What traits does this animal have? I wonder if I’ll get any right this paw?
Professional assumptions went paw-in-paw with the lectures, examining and coming up with hypotheses about the specimens was only natural. Recently however, I’d started to make a little game of it to make things even more interesting than usual. A veritable bonfire of ideas had been set ablaze within me, fueled by my newfound knowledge of Earthen wildlife. Every flash and spark of the flame was a fresh theory I could try to apply to the lectures. It was an invigorating exercise that further stoked my unceasing wonderment.
So far I’d only done this once during the previous class and, to my disappointment, I’d not done too well.
I was right when I guessed that chickens were omnivores, but wrong in my assumption that they could fly. And that red thing on their head, the um… what was it called? The comb! Yes, the comb. I thought that was to attract mates, but it regulates body heat instead. It’s fascinating. Oh! Stars damn it I’m rambling!
I bapped my tail against my leg, the soft thud being just enough to snap me back from my runaway thoughts before I went completely wall-eyed. I was becoming more and more accustomed to getting lost in my own head while remaining conscious of the fact; it was happening so frequently now that it was pretty much impossible not to. Now I was able to pull myself back to the world around me without having to rely on someone else shaking me out of it. Most of the time anyway.
Sandi still keeps an eye on me, and Kailo even decided to help out once without being too snide about it. Anyway where was I? Oh yeah, Koalas.
Glancing at the furred animals, two things immediately stood out. Firstly, their eyes were in a more central position on their face. And second, all the images showed them being on or close to trees. There were other noteworthy observations of course, such as the Koala’s prominent nose and rounded features, but they fell to the wayside as I honed in on these points first.
Hmmm… ok. I already know to discount the idea that they’re predators just from eye position, so let’s get that thought out of here. Maybe omnivorous? Herbivore? Agh no, I can’t just guess that for the sake of guessing, that’s the same problem! Hrm, it’s tough making these assumptions now that everything I thought I knew has been turned on its head.
Nevermind, I’ll focus on the other thing. All the trees make me think they’re arboreal, that seems to be a reasonable assumption. I wonder what else they-
Clearing his throat, Bernard broke my concentration, his call for attention silencing the murmuring conversation and redirecting everyone's focus to the lecturer's podium.
His gaze panned across the room as he waited for everyone to settle, a beaming smile lighting up his face, “As ever I’m delighted to see you all get so into the subject matter from the get go. I’m looking forward to hearing what you were discussing should you wish to share. For now though, how about we get started, hm?”
A chorus of merry bleats rang out from across the audience, ears and tails flicking happily in agreement. Bernard's grin grew in tandem with the class's fervour, clasping his hands together enthusiastically as he launched into the lesson, “Excellent! Then let’s get started.”
The pictures on screen dissolved away until only one remained, enlarging to cover the entire monitor with the fluffy grey face of a Koala peacefully reclining in the crook of a tree.
“Ah, there we are,” Bernard’s baritone timbre drifted through the room as he looked up at the image, his own tone reflecting the relaxed attitude of the animal on screen, “He looks so comfortable doesn’t he? Perfectly at peace with the world, not too surprising considering they sleep almost 20 hours a day. A full paw!”
A wave of beeps and gasps rippled through the herd, punctuated by a single yawn-dressed comment from Rova, “A full paw? Hwuuu… jealous.”
Her drowsy remark elicited several whistling giggles from the herd, Bernard's own jovial chortle joining them as he turned to face her, “Late evening Rova?”
I twisted a little in my seat, panning an eye in Rova’s direction just in time to see her bleary eyes bulge open and her ears shoot up, now intensely aware of the fact she hadn’t been as quiet as she thought she had.
Sitting up abruptly, she hastily tapped down errant tufts of wool that’d flared in surprise as she composed herself, though her nervousness at becoming the centre of the class's attention was still plain for all to hear, “Uh- I um… achem, a little bit yes, um- …sorry. Lokki dragged me out to a movie viewing in the rec centre. It went on pretty late.”
A melodramatic bray from the other side of the room drew everyone's ears away from Rova to the now aghast Lokki, paw splayed across his chest in faux indignation, “Dragged you? Well excuse me for trying to broaden your horizons with human movies. That’ll be the list time I- …Ahaaaa…”
Lokki’s theatrics were cut short by a heavy yawn of his own, a swell of whistling laughter rolling through the herd as vibrant bloom lit up his snout, a sight that elicited a particularly amused bleat from Rova.
Turning away from the duo I looked back at Bernard, pleased to see that he was chuckling along with us. Behaviour like Lokki’s would never have been tolerated in my school and university days but, in stark contrast, Bernard revelled in it, the liveliness of his students fueling his own bombastic style of teaching. It was a pleasant change of pace having a teacher who let us all be ourselves in class; provided we weren’t too disruptive to the lesson plan.
Speaking of which.
His laughter still rumbling through the air, Bernard clapped his hands to pull everyone's focus back to him, “Ok, ok, let’s get back to it then shall we? Rova. Lokki. Hopefully the two of you can stay awake long enough until you can grab yourselves a coffee.”
As the class settled down and the last few giggling beeps petered out, Benard pointed a hand to the screen, “So, the Koala. Let’s start simple shall we? They are herbivorous marsupials native to the eastern and southern coasts of Australia. Easily recognised the world over, they are a well known and beloved symbol of their homeland, along with other animals such as the Kangaroo and the Emu. The former of which you might remember from one of our earlier lectures.”
Indeed I did remember, along with how angry Bernard had gotten after some speh-head had derided the Yotul after he explained how he held specific disdain for such attitudes.
Uuuggghh… I never want to see him angry again. So chilling.
I shook my ears in an effort to dismiss the unpleasant memory, panning my eyes back to the monitor to try and distract myself by inspecting the Koala’s physical appearance once more. Thankfully, by some Star's blessed intervention, Bernard had the exact same idea.
“Koala’s are rather squat in stature, ranging around sixty to eighty-five centimetres in length and weighing little more than fifteen to sixteen kilograms at their full size. As you can see, the fur of this fellow before you is a lovely silvery grey, but their fur can also sport a chocolaty brown hue as well. Arguably the most distinctive part of their appearance is their head, being rather large for their body size and having rounded ears, a large nose, and a pair of small eyes. These are often brown but variations do occur.”
It didn’t slip past my notice that Bernard didn’t bother to point out that the Koala’s eyes were forward facing. I didn’t think he’d simply forgotten, so perhaps he just felt it wasn’t necessary given that he’d already stated it was herbivorous. Either way, no one stuck up a paw or tail to question him.
“Now this will hardly be surprising considering how long they sleep, but Koala’s are largely sedentary and it’s rather easy to see why when you have a look into the contents of their diet.”
With the press of a button the Koala on screen was replaced by images of vibrant green vegetation. Soaring trees and flowering shrubbery weaved together across landscape framed pictures pulled admiring trills from the herd, the diversity of the plant life being shown standing as a reminder that it wasn’t only animal life that flourished on Earth.
After giving everyone the chance to take in the picturesque scenes, Bernard casually hammered that point home, “This is eucalyptus or, more accurately, a choice selection of more than 700 plants belonging to the eucalyptus genus, though the Koala itself favours 30 of them in particular.”
700!? Stars…
Realising that my ears had drooped in my momentary awe, I twisted them back to tune into the lesson, only for them to splay out in shock at the next words to come out of Bernard's mouth.
“The leaves of these plants are the primary food source of the Koala and there are a couple things worth mentioning when talking about these plants. For starters they do not have much nutritional or caloric value, leading to the Koala’s low-energy lifestyle. Additionally, they contain toxic compounds.”
A shiver instantly ran through the herd, ears flicking rapidly in confusion and alarm followed by a few quizzical whispers. It didn’t take long for someone to decide to give a proper voice to the murmuring.
“Excuse me Doctor. Did we hear that right? Their diet is made up of toxic flora?” Vlek’s grumbling incredulity cut through the herd's mutterings with ease. Until Kailo’s recent change of heart, the fifty something rotation old blonde Venlil had been a close second in terms of scepticism. Mercifully his rebuttals had always been relevant questions as opposed to ranting diatribes, so he at least remained on topic if nothing else.
Bernard nodded in confirmation, smiling back at Vlek while absentmindedly twirling the end of his moustache, “You heard me right, they do indeed consume plants that are toxic. Just not to them.”
Any worry or uncertainty still clinging to the herd was swept away by the provision of the glaringly obvious answer, leaving me chuckling inwardly at the oversight.
Ah of course! The plant might be poisonous but they’ll have evolved to deal with that. Stars… I’m so used to expecting the unexpected with Earth that I didn’t even consider the simplest solution.
“I see, thank you Doctor,” Vlek replied, a tinge of interest still audible in his tone, “I assume they’ve developed some adaptation to become immune to the harmful effects?”
The question immediately evoked a smirk from our teacher, but he hurriedly suppressed it while bobbing his head, “They have indeed. There are several factors that aid in their digestion of eucalyptus leaves without succumbing to the plant's baleful properties. The first is a part of the intestinal tract called the cecum. It contains a microbiome that allows the Koala to digest the eucalyptus. Coupled with this is an enzyme in the Koala’s liver that helps them break down the toxins. They are also capable of sniffing out the plants with the least amount of toxins, ensuring that they ingest as little as possible.”
Pausing for a breath Bernard looked back at the screen before turning to face us, another grin curling at the edges of his mouth as he continued with his explanation, “This is mostly for adult Koala’s, because while their young also possess these same adaptations, they don’t just go straight to munching through foliage right after being born. No, they need a little help making that jump and getting a stomach full of all that good gut bacteria. It’s nothing bad, but those of a sensitive stomach may wish to prepare themselves for this next part.”
Bernard’s assurances did little to assuage the concern that his warning had foisted upon us. Having been exposed to so much of the weirdness Earth had to offer everyone always ended up on edge whenever Bernard gave advice like this, even if he did say it in jest.
What strange nonsense thing do Koala pups do then? Judging by the way he’s acting it probably isn’t something as simple as drinking milk from the mother. Hmmm…
“So,” Bernard began, snapping us from our pensive stupor, “Young Koala’s, known as joeys, have a gestation period of thirty-five days on average, which is approximately forty-two paws. Once born they travel from the birth canal to a pouch in their mother so that they can continue to develop and grow. In the pouch the joey finds and latches onto one of two teats and these provide the newborn with a steady stream of nourishing milk. It spends the next six to seven months growing in the pouch, its eyes, ears, and fur all developing as time goes on.”
Okay, interesting. But this is exactly how I thought it’d go. What’s different?
The unexpected normalcy of the Koala’s birth and growth cycle had calmed everyone's nerves, only to be replaced with an air of suspicion as we waited with rapt attention for Bernard to drop the other claw and upend our expectations like he always did.
Not wanting to keep us in further suspense he forged ahead, the tempo of his voice picking up as the smile started to crease his face once more, “Now to make the switch from milk to eucalyptus, the mother also feeds the joey a substance called pap. It comes from the cecum I mentioned earlier, and contains all the gut bacteria required to help the young Koala in making the switch to eucalyptus.”
He stopped and looked around, searching us for a reaction to what I felt was a rather bland statement of fact. What was it he was saying without actually saying? Koala pups drink milk to mature and then include this pap substance so that they can start eating plants. I don’t see what-
The cecum is part of the intestine.
I blinked.
I blinked again, the intrusive interruption scouring my brain clean of any other thought bar the one it’d just implanted itself in the forefront of my mind.
Oh stars. They-
“They eat their own poop!?”
The shocked bleat shattered the peace of the room to reveal that most if not all of us had come to the same tail curling conclusion. As the hall filled with unrestrained vocalisations of disgust, an ‘Ugh’ over here and a ‘Blegh’ over there, Bernard’s own bellowing laughter joined the throng of voices.
“Ha! Everytime! Each and every time. Clearly it doesn’t matter if my students are Human or Venlil. Whenever someone learns about the Koala’s dietary development the reaction is the same!”
Pleased with himself beyond reason, Bernard chuckled away while the rest of us grappled with this ghastly reality. While there were plenty of animals that feasted on things that ranged from simply unappealing all the way to the stomach churningly grotesque, I’d never heard of an animal that actively consumed the excrement of its own species. Benefits aside, the prospect of having to do that to survive to adulthood sent a shiver of revulsion down my spine.
Ewww… Stars, I hope I forget this feeling by 2nd meal. They’re serving sturen and magamroot stew later. I was really looking forward to it.
With the herds mood beginning to temper Bernard tapped the podiums controls, removing the verdant collage of eucalyptus to display several similar yet distinct environments, still chortling merrily to himself in the process, “Ok then, with that little foray into their diet complete, why don’t we look at their habitat in more detail? As you might imagine given their diet and arboreal nature, Koala’s live in forested regions, and can be found in tropical and temperate zones. About a century ago they were classed as a vulnerable species, however efforts were made to turn this around and increase their numbers. Sadly the largest factor in their decline was human activity, as the fertile lands that gave rise to their bountiful forests were coveted farm land for our settlements.”
It was strange to hear Bernard so matter of factly admit to humanity's negative impacts on other species. He’d alluded to such things in the past but always with an air of caution, carefully pawing the line between honestly answering a question while not painting humanity as uncaring and destructive. AKA, the ‘predators’ we’d all initially expected them to be.
Perhaps his comfort in making such admissions was a reflection of the class's comfort with him, for no one so much as batted an ear. Even Kailo, who I would’ve expected to jump at the chance to use this as a prime example of predatory danger, only flicked an ear in stern yet silent concern.
A cough from Bernard drew my attention back, a new picture on screen that showed a forest from a bird's-eye view. Drawn across the image were around a dozen ringed areas, some bordering one another while others overlapped to some degree. It took me a moment, but I soon recognised that what I was looking at was a map, the rings representing what I assumed to be territories. And it didn’t take much effort to guess who each one belonged to.
“From habitats we move onto behaviours, so let’s start with territories. Koala’s are solitary animals. Yes, despite being herbivores. Considering they’re only awake for roughly four hours of the day I can hardly blame them. Lots to do and not a lot of time to do it. Jokes aside, once they mature they are quite independent, carving out a little slice of land for themselves, as displayed in this example, called a Home Range. That is not to say they go it alone and leave everything else behind however. Rather, as shown in the map behind me, they live in their own space while still being part of a larger social group.”
With another press of his pad the picture was updated to show one of two symbols in each segment, along with a key to the side of the map displayed in helpful Venlang. A quick glance told me that the symbols were representing whether the territory belonged to a male or female of the species.
“As you can see there is quite a bit of overlap between different Koala’s territories. It is in these areas that most of the socialising takes place between neighbours. The trees in these locations represent the few areas where intrusion across territories is acceptable for the sake of social interaction. Outside of that the Koala’s stick to their own territories for the most part, with the exceptions of Koala’s who are passing through, attempting to become part of the social group themselves, or dominant males who sometimes go off into another Koala’s range. But how do they know where one range begins and another range ends you might ask? Well, this brings us onto the next part of the lecture. How do Koala’s communicate?”
Wiping away the map from the monitor, Bernard loaded up a video of a Koala sitting in a tree and pressed play. Head held high, the Koala’s body shook as it belted out a reverberating call into the wilderness that could only be described as a garbled combination of a car engine failing to turn over mixed with the hiccups of someone with a particularly sore throat.
That’s how they sound? Oof that must be rough on the lungs.
I clearly wasn’t the only one to share such a thought, because I clocked Sandi tracing a paw along her neck as the noise went on, ears fluttering in discomfort at the noise.
Bernard himself cleared his own throat as the video came to an end, minimising it and replacing it with another image of a tree with a Koala rubbing up against the bark, “I think they’ve got me beat on who’s got the deeper voice!”
His joke garnered several amused beeps, a rare reaction that caused a beaming smile to shine across his face at lighting speed, “Oh you’re too kind. I’ll be here all week. Now where were we? Oh yes! Communication. As you’ve just heard, Koala’s are capable of loud low pitched bellows that can carry over vast distances. These express everything from ‘Hello I’m over here’ to ‘This is my turf, stay away’. Bellowing is more common in the males than the females, opting for shouting matches as opposed to outright fights when it comes to asserting dominance. Other vocal expressions include grunts, wails, and snarls if they’re acting particularly angsty. Mother and joey pairs also communicate through gentle clicking, squeaking, and murmuring sounds. And there’s one more thing worth mentioning. Something they have in common with Humans and Venlil when it comes to emoting.”
Really? They do something we do?
Curious, I pressed myself against the desk, straining as close as I could to once more scrutinise the Koala’s features. Not a lot stood out to me at first, the grey marsupial not sharing many similarities with a Venlil that I could identify.
Ok think. We show emotion with our ears, tails, and our wool on occasion. They don’t have tails so it’s obviously not that. Wool standing on end is more a reaction than a conscious expression. So it must be the ears then.
To my quiet satisfaction, my hunch was soon validated by Bernard, “As well as their vocalisations, Koala’s are very emotive through their facial features. Just like humans, they use their mouths and lips to show how they feel, but these tend more towards the aggressive side of the scale than what you might see on a human. Regarding yourselves however, Koala’s utilise their ears in tandem with their mouth movements when showing strong emotion.”
I was delighted to hear that my assumption was correct, a little happy flick twisting out through my tail and bapping against my chair with a muted thump against the plastic.
Hehe yes! Got one right!
“Now then, we are getting close to lunchtime so I’ll finish this segment off with something I think you’ll find particularly interesting. Diplomacy.”
Perplexed mutterings followed in the wake of the bizarre inclusion to the lecture, my own thoughts being dominated by bewilderment as I tried and failed to make sense of how the two could possibly be related.
Why would Koala’s, or any animal for that matter, be linked to diplomacy? Hmmm...
I could understand dispatching exterminators to deal with a predator issue as a show of goodwill, that at least includes animals, but Humans aren’t like that so I think I can safely scratch that off the list.
Maybe the humans who live in that region benefited from Koala’s in some way. Could they have gotten something from them? But what?
Hopefully not what the pups get from their mothers.
Agh no! Begone awful intrusive thoughts. Blegh! I don’t need that in my head.
As I wrestled with the short-lived revulsion inflicted upon me by my Star's damned subconscious, Bernard placed a new image on screen, one that was decidedly different from all that had preceded it.
On screen were more than a couple dozen pictures of humans. Some were pictured alone while others congregated in large groups while cameras surrounded them from all angles. Across all the images, I noted two common themes. First of all, a solid majority of the humans were wearing formal wear similar to what I’d seen worn by UN representatives on TV. If the gaggle of journalists in the background of the photos didn’t already confirm my suspicions, then it was this similarity which made me conclude they were all people of some importance. Likely politicians judging from context clues.
Secondly, each of the individuals was interacting with a Koala in some form. Some cradled one against their chests while others were feeding it eucalyptus leaves or pellets of some kind. One of the assumed politicians had become an impromptu bed for a snoozing bundle of fur, a gleeful smile spread across their face as they lovingly gazed down at the sleeping Koala in their lap.
As I continued to stare at the assorted photos something clicked into place, a sudden spark flickering into life. A burgeoning light of comprehension that flared and swelled with every wide-eyed breath I took. Some things still escaped me, things I hoped would soon be explained, but in staring at all of the humans happy smiling faces, I was struck with an instant of pure understanding.
If someone, say a Nevok for instance, offered to gift me a creature that was common to them but which might exotic and breathtaking to a Venlil, how could my feelings not be swayed? How could I walk away from that encounter and not have grown closer to them as a result?
“Koala diplomacy,” Bernard waved his hand up at the monitor, a slight reverence in his tone, “My favourite kind of soft power diplomacy. Where political leaders take photo ops with Koala’s and, on occasion, the Australian government loans Koala’s to other nations for a time to bolster positive relations. It certainly helps that Koala’s are a beloved animal worldwide, drawing large crowds and revenue for countries fortunate enough to host the adorable critters.”
The truly alien concept predictably sparked instant discussion in the herd, two polar opposite schools of thought swiftly cementing themselves as the most popular opinions. Simultaneously, I heard one voice trill excitedly while another scoffed at what they clearly saw as a ridiculous and offensive notion.
“Squee! That’d be so cool! I’d love to get the chance to see a Liri from Coila. Remember the Rainbow Boa? Think of that shimmering effect and colour but put it on a bird! Ah! I’ve only heard their song on video. It’d be a treat to hear it in person!”
Ooo! I’ve read about them! I’d love to get up close to one.
“Loaning. As if animals are property to be hoarded and traded? Pugh! Another predatory trait the humans don’t want to acknowledge for what it is.”
Ugh, typical. Jump right to the worst possible option.
However, despite my dismissal of their disparaging fumings, an uncomfortable thought pressed upon my mind. While it was plain to see how much humans cared for the Koala, it didn’t change the fact that humans did keep animals as property just as the scornful herd member had said.
This begged a rather important, disquieting question. Aside from keeping some animals as cattle, a stomach tightening minefield I had no desire to step a claw onto right now, how else did humans keep other creatures. And how did they treat them?
Before I was fully conscious of doing it my paw was in the air, the question primed on my tongue.
Noticing my elevated paw Bernard pointed at me, smiling warmly, “Yes Rysel? What’s on your mind?”
Sorry Bernard. I hope this one’s not too awkward for you to answer.
Flicking my ear in appreciation, and waiting for everyone to settle enough so that I could be heard, I voiced my concerns as neutrally as possible, “Thank you Doctor. I uh, just had a thought. We know that humans keep certain animals for… particular reasons, and we know why. From how you’ve spoken about Koala’s I think it's fair to say that the same cannot be said for them. However, this makes me wonder, what other reasons do humans have for keeping animals and how do you treat them?”
A flash of surprise blinked across Bernard's eyes but vanished so quickly that it felt like I’d imagined it. Had he not expected such a question? Maybe he was just shocked that it’d been me who’d ended up asking it?
Stars, am I so predictable that no one expects me to ask difficult questions?
Unfortunately, a quick glance at my deskmates seemed to prove that to be the case, as both Sandi and Kailo were looking at me with differing degrees of astonishment flapping in their ears.
Well speh.
“A very good point Rysel, certainly one that’s worth raising. Yet another example of you all anticipating what I have to say before I can bring it up myself.” Bernard tapped the podium, switching off the monitor before returning his focus to me, “We won’t be needing that. I’ve nothing prepared that I can show you and we’re heading to lunch in a few minutes anyway. Still, that’s plenty of time to give you a bit of an answer.”
A bit? What does he mean just a bit?
Made even more curious by Bernard's preempted admission that he wasn’t going to fully answer my query, I dialled both my ears on him, fixing him with an inquisitive stare as he started to explain with a tone that was noticeably more nonchalant than any of his previous explanations.
“So, animals in captivity for reasons other than what you already know. Honestly I would love to delve into other reasons regarding why we keep animals. However, I have a lesson plan in the works that I hope to share with you all in the not too distant future. Some of it touches upon this very topic and I’d quite like to bundle it all together. That said, I can tell you how animals in captivity are treated. In short, the answer is very well. There are a mountain of laws both on private and public interests that govern the standards and ethical treatment of animals, and breaches of these laws are quite severe even for relatively minor infractions.”
While I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed by the vague answer to what was really the bulk of my question, I was at least satisfied by Bernard’s assurances that animals in captivity, such as the Koala, were well looked after. Considering the barely subdued grumbling coming from some corners of the audience it was clear that several of the herd didn’t believe Bernard outright, but I trusted him to be honest. Additionally, the mention of an upcoming lecture focused on humans keeping animals caused quite the buzz.
I felt a mix of excitement and trepidation at exploring the topic further. He’d pretty much confirmed we wouldn’t be talking about cattle farms, for which I was relieved, but that still left a huge amount of uncertainty in what was to come.
Humans keeping animals as cattle was a forgone conclusion. As horrifying as that reality was, it was one I could understand from a detached and strictly clinical point of view. Being predators they ate meat and therefore they kept cattle. But the concept of keeping animals for any other reason baffled me.
What could be the purpose? The diplomacy thing makes sense now that I have context, but what other reasons could they have.
The class's discussions were interrupted by the recognisable ring of the break bell, the shift in attention eliciting a change in conversation from confused hypotheses to peppy conversation on how everyone was planning to spend their break and what they had in mind for 2nd meal.
“Well I can see everyone’s excited for lunch, and who am I to disappoint,” chuckling Bernard waved us all up from our seats, pocketing his pad from the podium and heading to open the classroom door for us, “Enjoy your break, get a good rest along with a hearty meal, and I’ll see you all back here at the usual time.”
As everyone else filed out I stayed behind, waving at Sandi and Kailo as they left, and pawing over to Bernard once he and I were the only ones left in the room.
Ears folded down and with an apologetic tinge in my voice I greeted him as I sidled up to him, “Hey Bernard, I uh… sorry if that last question was unexpected.”
Chortling in reply, Bernard waved a hand through the air in a sign I’d come to understand meant ‘not a problem’.
“No need to apologise Rysel. It was a good question and most certainly not a problem.”
Heh, called it.
I sighed, allowing tension I didn’t realise I’d been holding to relax itself from my shoulders, “Phew, that’s a relief. I’m glad. I’m curious to hear what this new lesson is you’ve got in store for us by the way.”
Bernard wagged a finger at me, throwing up his eyebrows in mock amazement, “Oh are you now? Well I’m afraid you’ll have to remain curious for the time being. It’s going to be quite the surprise if all goes to plan. But…”
He trailed off, glancing at me before looking to the door like he was making sure no one else was around.
Wait, is he going to tell me? Oh please yes let me know now!
Stopping myself from jumping on the spot in excited anticipation, and trying my damndest to stop my tail from wagging in equal measure, I stared up at Bernard as he stewed in his thoughts before turning back to face me.
“I can’t tell you the specifics, but I’m working with Alejandro and Tolim to get something together. A trip that’s not a trip as it were. And when it happens, I’m going to need a few of the more accepting members of the class to lend me a hand. I’m hoping you and a couple others will be able to help with that?”
A trip that’s not a trip? What does that mean? Agh who cares about that right now! Bernard’s relying on me to help out!
Still trying not to keep myself from bouncing around with pup like glee I swished my tail and nodded my head in joint agreement, happy to help with whatever Bernard had in store for us, “Of course! Anything you need I’ll be there to lend a paw. You can count on me!”
A broad warm smile lit up Bernard's face, a hand patting me on the shoulder in appreciation, “Thank you Rysel. I knew I could rely on you but it still warms my heart to hear it. And, as thanks for this and for the many times you’ve shown your support, the surprise includes a little something special I think you’d appreciate the most.”
If my earlier enthusiasm had been at a nine, then the implication of a supposed gift sent it rocketing all the way to a hundred in a heartbeat.
“Wait… WHAT!? What do you mean? What are you doing?”
As impossible as it seemed, Bernard's grin grew even wider as I almost lost myself in wool shaking exhilaration, “Call it my own form of Koala diplomacy. But I’m afraid that’s all I can say for now. Wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise even for you!”
“Oh you ass!” Whistling jovially I bapped my tail against Bernard’s leg in fake indignation, evoking a barking bellowing laugh from the man himself.
Still laughing, the two of us departed the class and made for the canteen, my rumbling stomach leading me on while my mind spun with fantastical thoughts as to what Bernard had prepared for us.
And what specifically he had in store for me.

​
​
Acusmouse - Philanthrope (Andrea Ferlin Remix) [GOODRO DIGITAL] / Key Bm, BPM 128, 8:04, MP3 19.52 Mb
Acusmouse - Philanthrope [GOODRO DIGITAL] / Key Gm, BPM 125, 7:27, MP3 18.06 Mb
Aiyo - Ramaramaray [Epidemic Electronic] / Key Dm, BPM 95, 2:47, MP3 7.11 Mb
Aiyo - Shuffle Showdown [Epidemic Electronic] / Key Dm, BPM 131, 3:03, MP3 7.77 Mb
Aiyo - Street Rev Anthem [Epidemic Electronic] / Key Dbm, BPM 144, 2:52, MP3 7.33 Mb
Akrill, YASASHI - Капризная feat. YASASHI [welofi] / Key Dm, BPM 142, 3:58, MP3 9.96 Mb
Akrill, YASASHI - Капризная feat. YASASHI (Slowed) [welofi] / Key Cm, BPM 125, 4:31, MP3 11.26 Mb
Alan Ellis - Come To [Epidemic Electronic] / Key F#m, BPM 148, 3:23, MP3 8.41 Mb
Alan Ellis - Leveler [Epidemic Electronic] / Key Eb, BPM 120, 3:30, MP3 8.66 Mb
Alan Ellis - Poles [Epidemic Electronic] / Key Gm, BPM 115, 3:37, MP3 8.94 Mb
Aleksandr Stroganov - Oy Daa (Instrumental Mix) [Stroganov Music] / Key D, BPM 118, 6:39, MP3 16.31 Mb
Aleksandr Stroganov - Oy Daa [Stroganov Music] / Key Dm, BPM 118, 6:39, MP3 16.31 Mb
AlphaCube - Balearic Guitars [SounEmot State] / Key Abm, BPM 136, 7:09, MP3 17.37 Mb
Anastasiya Berezovscaya - Vo sne idu [Ashime Records] / Key Dm, BPM 104, 3:57, MP3 9.67 Mb
Anton Dolgushin - Questions & Answers [Nature Is Pure Love] / Key Fm, BPM 120, 5:17, MP3 12.89 Mb
Anton Dolgushin - Way to Target [Nature Is Pure Love] / Key F#m, BPM 123, 3:23, MP3 8.36 Mb
Ariel Shalom - Stuck in My Head [Artlist Original] / Key Cm, BPM 174, 3:11, MP3 8.00 Mb
Attima - Parking Lot Dahlias [Bioritmica] / Key Bb, BPM 143, 2:47, MP3 7.04 Mb
Attima - World Premiere Interview [Bioritmica] / Key Fm, BPM 116, 2:48, MP3 7.09 Mb
BABY GEE VIBES - Techno High [EDM Vibes Music] / Key Cm, BPM 150, 5:37, MP3 13.68 Mb
Bodzza - Mind Keeper [Codein Music] / Key Fm, BPM 144, 5:23, MP3 13.08 Mb
Bodzza - Pedra no Sapato [Codein Music] / Key Fm, BPM 143, 5:26, MP3 13.17 Mb
Bodzza - Plateau [Codein Music] / Key Dbm, BPM 144, 4:57, MP3 12.01 Mb
Bodzza - Those Days [Codein Music] / Key Dm, BPM 142, 5:40, MP3 13.73 Mb
Bodzza - Vicious [Codein Music] / Key Am, BPM 142, 5:55, MP3 14.34 Mb
Boiler K, Piso Con Vistas - Valiendo (Club Edit) [Superkinki Music] / Key Fm, BPM 125, 3:38, MP3 8.83 Mb
Booty Leak, Yellow Pvnk, TECHNO KING - What Is Love (HYPERTECHNO) [Magic Techno] / Key F#m, BPM 160, 1:42, MP3 4.26 Mb
Brothertiger - The Garden [Brothertiger] / Key C, BPM 144, 4:45, MP3 12.22 Mb
Casiio, Sleepermane - Myrrh [Lotus Records] / Key Eb, BPM 80, 2:36, MP3 6.64 Mb
Chaco - Rude Boy (Edit) [Realty Records] / Key Gm, BPM 130, 2:57, MP3 7.64 Mb
Chaco - Rude Boy [Realty Records] / Key Cm, BPM 133, 3:44, MP3 9.50 Mb
Chris Klein - Solar Eclipse [Sounds and Frequencies Recordings] / Key Abm, BPM 122, 6:37, MP3 16.13 Mb
DEX 1200 - The Lost Forest [Epidemic Electronic] / Key Cm, BPM 100, 4:07, MP3 10.38 Mb
DHertz - Techno - Classic T [DHertz] / Key Abm, BPM 140, 3:09, MP3 7.65 Mb
DJ DOSKOI - Sample415 [Young Technic] / Key Cm, BPM 126, 5:24, MP3 13.14 Mb
DJ Tranceair - Gilgamesh [SounEmot State] / Key Fm, BPM 140, 5:43, MP3 13.95 Mb
Davvi - Spring Breeze [EYRA Music] / Key Dbm, BPM 94, 3:35, MP3 8.91 Mb
Desire - Darkside [Italians Do It Better] / Key Fm, BPM 137, 4:12, MP3 10.52 Mb
Desire - Human Nature [Italians Do It Better] / Key C, BPM 120, 3:47, MP3 9.54 Mb
Desire - Vampire [Italians Do It Better] / Key F#, BPM 162, 2:37, MP3 6.74 Mb
Dj Rauff - Rumble [Luxury Night] / Key Ebm, BPM 105, 2:31, MP3 6.39 Mb
DreamLife, SounEmot, Grande Piano, Elgfrothi - Ephemeral Past (DreamSkies Mashup) [SounEmot State] / Key Am, BPM 138, 5:38, MP3 13.75 Mb
Drum & Breakers, Madhalakk - You Deserve Love (Edit Mix) [Superkinki Music] / Key Em, BPM 131, 2:45, MP3 6.69 Mb
Empath - Felucca feat. Tapani Rinne (Kimik Remix) [The Sound Collective] / Key Em, BPM 132, 3:49, MP3 9.52 Mb
Empath - Felucca feat. Tapani Rinne [The Sound Collective] / Key E, BPM 132, 7:16, MP3 17.79 Mb
Empath - Road to Quantum feat. Tapani Rinne [The Sound Collective] / Key Gm, BPM 131, 6:22, MP3 15.64 Mb
Evissimax - OTT [Universal Music Italia srL.] / Key Am, BPM 140, 4:00, MP3 9.72 Mb
Flowzhaker, Simsoneria Swing - Plastic Dolls (Edit Mix) [Superkinki Music] / Key Cm, BPM 120, 2:12, MP3 5.36 Mb
Fran Garro - Rosas (Techno) [FRAN GARRO MUSIC] / Key A, BPM 150, 3:12, MP3 8.08 Mb
Fran Garro, Techno Bangers - Rosas (Hypertechno) [FRAN GARRO MUSIC] / Key B, BPM 162, 2:58, MP3 7.51 Mb
Frank Wiedemann, Howling, RY X - Phases feat. RY X feat. Frank Wiedemann (Edit) [Counter Records] / Key Bbm, BPM 123, 2:37, MP3 6.65 Mb
Freezeout - Run Run [Queenside Recordings] / Key Bbm, BPM 125, 2:34, MP3 6.30 Mb
Freezeout - Time (Mark Vox Remix - Extended Mix) [Queenside Recordings] / Key Ebm, BPM 125, 3:52, MP3 9.46 Mb
Goldy - Обійняти [Ukraine Dancing Label] / Key F, BPM 116, 3:20, MP3 8.23 Mb
Grande Piano - Emotion Code [SounEmot State] / Key Abm, BPM 136, 6:55, MP3 16.85 Mb
GutterGizmo - Sliabh Torc [Soundserfing Records] / Key Cm, BPM 135, 5:56, MP3 14.48 Mb
H. Paul - Ghosts in the procession (Asymmetrik Remix) [Induxtriall Records] / Key Gm, BPM 133, 6:05, MP3 14.67 Mb
H. Paul - Ghosts in the procession (Original mix) [Induxtriall Records] / Key Cm, BPM 135, 5:13, MP3 12.61 Mb
H. Paul - Gunshots and screams (Original mix) [Induxtriall Records] / Key Dbm, BPM 165, 2:57, MP3 7.18 Mb
H. Paul - Rationalization (Oleka Remix) [Induxtriall Records] / Key Abm, BPM 144, 5:25, MP3 13.09 Mb
H. Paul - racionalización (Mezcla original) [Induxtriall Records] / Key F#m, BPM 136, 5:18, MP3 12.80 Mb
Halvorsen, MÆDM, Mike Riser - Rinse & Repeat (feat. Halvorsen) [Forever Young Recordings] / Key Fm, BPM 126, 3:33, MP3 8.80 Mb
Hokori - No Man's Home [Lamp] / Key Dm, BPM 90, 5:47, MP3 14.17 Mb
Hokori - The Secret Place [Lamp] / Key Fm, BPM 90, 2:51, MP3 7.13 Mb
Honey Hell - Nocturnoodles [Honey Hell] / Key Bm, BPM 142, 5:14, MP3 12.78 Mb
House Anatomy - Around Me [Queenside Recordings] / Key Cm, BPM 123, 2:30, MP3 6.17 Mb
House Anatomy - Chances [Queenside Recordings] / Key Am, BPM 124, 3:37, MP3 8.83 Mb
House Anatomy - Fly With You [Queenside Recordings] / Key Abm, BPM 124, 2:29, MP3 6.12 Mb
ILY, Ambvsh, Anguish - We Fell Apart [LABEL EATER] / Key Fm, BPM 106, 2:18, MP3 5.69 Mb
ILY, Ambvsh, Anguish - We Fell Apart (Slowed) [LABEL EATER] / Key Ebm, BPM 95, 2:36, MP3 6.38 Mb
Ilya Gerus - Microcosmos [Lamp] / Key Eb, BPM 120, 5:28, MP3 13.43 Mb
Imeall - Endevol (Invisible Audience Mix) [Lamp] / Key Em, BPM 123, 3:43, MP3 9.23 Mb
Inherent - Profondità [Systolic Label] / Key Abm, BPM 126, 7:30, MP3 18.20 Mb
Jason Rivas, Lo-Fi on Elm Street - Sunny Day In Central Park (Edit Mix) [Superkinki Music] / Key F#m, BPM 116, 2:35, MP3 6.30 Mb
KAT3X - DEMON TIME [KATEXIS] / Key F#m, BPM 140, 7:05, MP3 17.36 Mb
KAT3X, Martin Luis - ON AIR [KATEXIS] / Key Am, BPM 126, 6:13, MP3 15.28 Mb
Kirilovsky - Nebula Nights [Systolic Label] / Key Cm, BPM 130, 7:14, MP3 17.57 Mb
Konkurs - Active Measures [X-IMG] / Key Abm, BPM 130, 6:18, MP3 15.45 Mb
Konkurs - Descender [X-IMG] / Key Bbm, BPM 110, 5:05, MP3 12.53 Mb
Konkurs - Object of Subversion [X-IMG] / Key Ebm, BPM 133, 6:04, MP3 14.88 Mb
Konkurs - Plasma [X-IMG] / Key Dbm, BPM 130, 6:06, MP3 14.94 Mb
Kryss Hypnowave - Mare Tranquillitatis [Systolic Label] / Key Cm, BPM 120, 7:44, MP3 18.78 Mb
Krzysztof Zalewski - ZGŁOWY [Kayax Production & Publishing] / Key Em, BPM 98, 3:49, MP3 9.47 Mb
Layla Mystic, The Watermelon Summer Crew - Owls (Edit Mix) [Superkinki Music] / Key Gm, BPM 122, 2:26, MP3 5.94 Mb
Liam Dennis - Think Like That [Ulysse Records] / Key Gm, BPM 126, 2:48, MP3 6.88 Mb
Liana, Mood 5 - Work 4 Love (Thrill Me Extended) [Big Mama's House Records] / Key Cm, BPM 121, 6:52, MP3 16.77 Mb
Luca Pernice - PAPI (feat Nina Krings) [ARM Records] / Key Cm, BPM 131, 5:39, MP3 13.90 Mb
Luiz Castro - 7 Am In Rio [Monkey Business Lab] / Key Dbm, BPM 123, 4:52, MP3 11.83 Mb
Luiz Castro - Ainda [Monkey Business Lab] / Key Gm, BPM 124, 3:53, MP3 9.46 Mb
Luiz Castro - Essência [Monkey Business Lab] / Key Abm, BPM 120, 4:19, MP3 10.49 Mb
Luiz Castro - Piquezin [Monkey Business Lab] / Key Bbm, BPM 142, 3:37, MP3 8.83 Mb
MTD, Thanatos, Tracy, KAT3X - SHOCK feat. MTD feat. Tracy (Reconstruction) [KATEXIS] / Key Dm, BPM 140, 6:51, MP3 16.81 Mb
Majed Salih, Vin - Wanary (feat. Vin) [Medievil-Music] / Key Fm, BPM 150, 1:47, MP3 4.39 Mb
Mako Lagoon - Naive Colada [Multiza Distribution] / Key Ebm, BPM 80, 3:00, MP3 7.47 Mb
Mamlouk Mohamed - Ocean Eyes [LVLD Music] / Key Am, BPM 126, 3:09, MP3 7.75 Mb
Mark Vox - Don't Wanna Wait [Queenside Recordings] / Key Gm, BPM 125, 3:58, MP3 9.69 Mb
Menori - Nirvighnam [• kosa •] / Key F#m, BPM 118, 9:44, MP3 23.75 Mb
Menori - Wah Yantee [• kosa •] / Key Am, BPM 122, 5:46, MP3 14.25 Mb
Miami Shakers - Addicted To You [Queenside Recordings] / Key Abm, BPM 124, 2:21, MP3 5.81 Mb
Milosh K, Victor Special - Just Believe [SounEmot State] / Key Ebm, BPM 138, 7:43, MP3 18.77 Mb
Monsters At Work - Smartwater [Erva Doce Records] / Key Dm, BPM 126, 7:12, MP3 17.59 Mb
Mythopoet - Tariki [Systolic Label] / Key Am, BPM 144, 6:15, MP3 15.22 Mb
Nava - Session Deep [Lamp] / Key Bbm, BPM 128, 6:30, MP3 15.91 Mb
Nect3r - Shake Your Body (Rough Mix) [Beatz Breakin Records] / Key Gm, BPM 128, 5:09, MP3 12.70 Mb
Nect3r - Shake Your Body (Trance Mix) [Beatz Breakin Records] / Key Ab, BPM 135, 6:18, MP3 15.44 Mb
Olya Gram, Andy Newtz - Take Me to the Stars (Gayax Remix) [SounEmot State] / Key G, BPM 140, 5:52, MP3 14.33 Mb
Omar Longoria - Pristine Kingdom [SounEmot State] / Key G, BPM 136, 4:33, MP3 11.16 Mb
Onra - Bkk Blues [All City Dublin] / Key Em, BPM 82, 1:42, MP3 4.50 Mb
Onra - Chocolate Thai [All City Dublin] / Key Gm, BPM 89, 1:45, MP3 4.61 Mb
Onra - Close Your Eyes And Remember [All City Dublin] / Key Fm, BPM 85, 2:40, MP3 6.79 Mb
Onra - Eternally Grateful [All City Dublin] / Key Am, BPM 129, 0:51, MP3 2.45 Mb
Onra - Hand In Hand [All City Dublin] / Key Cm, BPM 83, 2:41, MP3 6.86 Mb
Onra - How It's Supposed To Be [All City Dublin] / Key Fm, BPM 161, 2:31, MP3 6.45 Mb
Onra - In The Mist [All City Dublin] / Key D, BPM 163, 1:00, MP3 2.81 Mb
Onra - Masquerade [All City Dublin] / Key Am, BPM 132, 1:35, MP3 4.23 Mb
Onra - Memories [All City Dublin] / Key Gm, BPM 80, 2:12, MP3 5.69 Mb
Onra - Old Photos [All City Dublin] / Key Em, BPM 83, 1:49, MP3 4.77 Mb
Onra - One More Time [All City Dublin] / Key Fm, BPM 87, 1:27, MP3 3.90 Mb
Onra - Purple Flowers [All City Dublin] / Key Em, BPM 88, 2:36, MP3 6.66 Mb
Onra - The Cost [All City Dublin] / Key Bb, BPM 156, 1:30, MP3 4.00 Mb
Onra - The Man Who Owed The Money [All City Dublin] / Key Em, BPM 174, 2:07, MP3 5.50 Mb
Onra - Under The Frangipani Tree [All City Dublin] / Key Cm, BPM 84, 2:24, MP3 6.15 Mb
Onra - Until The End [All City Dublin] / Key Bm, BPM 152, 2:19, MP3 5.99 Mb
Onra - You Know [All City Dublin] / Key F#m, BPM 76, 1:56, MP3 5.06 Mb
Pao Calderon - The Night [DTL Sounds] / Key Cm, BPM 130, 5:49, MP3 14.25 Mb
Paul Pentoxide - Ayla [Lamp] / Key Fm, BPM 110, 3:04, MP3 7.65 Mb
Paul Pentoxide - Bastil [Lamp] / Key Am, BPM 110, 2:46, MP3 6.94 Mb
Piero Forte, Dvit Bousa - Spasc Symphony [Chimba Records International] / Key F#m, BPM 126, 4:04, MP3 10.06 Mb
Piso Con Vistas - Brujos (Club Edit) [Superkinki Music] / Key Bm, BPM 126, 3:24, MP3 8.25 Mb
Playa Del Karma, Poulper - Under the Moon [Quixotical Records] / Key G, BPM 130, 4:46, MP3 11.73 Mb
Recardo - Acid Boots [Sifting Sands] / Key C, BPM 117, 5:33, MP3 13.36 Mb
Recardo - Adrift [Sifting Sands] / Key Em, BPM 117, 5:08, MP3 12.38 Mb
Recardo - Arco [Sifting Sands] / Key Am, BPM 114, 4:08, MP3 10.11 Mb
Recardo - Bose [Sifting Sands] / Key Fm, BPM 117, 6:43, MP3 16.19 Mb
Recardo - Bring It Back [Sifting Sands] / Key Fm, BPM 123, 7:50, MP3 18.85 Mb
Recardo - Chant [Sifting Sands] / Key Abm, BPM 123, 8:52, MP3 21.33 Mb
Recardo - Contrails [Sifting Sands] / Key G, BPM 120, 4:50, MP3 11.65 Mb
Recardo - Curve [Sifting Sands] / Key Ab, BPM 93, 5:37, MP3 13.58 Mb
Recardo - Day One [Sifting Sands] / Key F#m, BPM 128, 6:18, MP3 15.23 Mb
Recardo - Det [Sifting Sands] / Key Ebm, BPM 119, 5:10, MP3 12.58 Mb
Recardo - Donatello [Sifting Sands] / Key Dbm, BPM 119, 3:51, MP3 9.33 Mb
Recardo - Forget Paradise [Sifting Sands] / Key G, BPM 125, 9:22, MP3 22.67 Mb
Recardo - Form Follows Function [Sifting Sands] / Key Cm, BPM 114, 9:05, MP3 21.98 Mb
Recardo - Gloss [Sifting Sands] / Key Dm, BPM 120, 5:51, MP3 14.13 Mb
Recardo - Goodnight Jesse [Sifting Sands] / Key Cm, BPM 122, 9:12, MP3 22.20 Mb
Recardo - Grid [Sifting Sands] / Key Am, BPM 137, 5:16, MP3 12.70 Mb
Recardo - I [Sifting Sands] / Key Db, BPM 148, 1:58, MP3 4.79 Mb
Recardo - Lake [Sifting Sands] / Key Ab, BPM 117, 6:00, MP3 14.59 Mb
Recardo - Little White Lies [Sifting Sands] / Key Am, BPM 149, 6:59, MP3 16.89 Mb
Recardo - Loose [Sifting Sands] / Key Fm, BPM 122, 6:55, MP3 16.79 Mb
Recardo - Nomad [Sifting Sands] / Key Gm, BPM 133, 7:34, MP3 18.25 Mb
Recardo - Oil Bath [Sifting Sands] / Key Em, BPM 121, 8:40, MP3 20.86 Mb
Recardo - One [Sifting Sands] / Key Cm, BPM 129, 5:15, MP3 12.78 Mb
Recardo - Outsiders [Sifting Sands] / Key Cm, BPM 120, 5:57, MP3 14.32 Mb
Recardo - Over and Out [Sifting Sands] / Key C, BPM 120, 2:11, MP3 5.30 Mb
Recardo - Pegasus [Sifting Sands] / Key Em, BPM 118, 8:49, MP3 21.25 Mb
Recardo - Prototype [Sifting Sands] / Key Am, BPM 128, 5:09, MP3 12.41 Mb
Recardo - Reality Chek [Sifting Sands] / Key Cm, BPM 123, 9:44, MP3 23.52 Mb
Recardo - Red Descent [Sifting Sands] / Key Em, BPM 107, 8:56, MP3 21.49 Mb
Recardo - Red Key [Sifting Sands] / Key B, BPM 124, 5:47, MP3 13.99 Mb
Recardo - Second Skin [Sifting Sands] / Key Cm, BPM 126, 6:03, MP3 14.61 Mb
Recardo - Simotaur [Sifting Sands] / Key Dbm, BPM 129, 4:05, MP3 9.87 Mb
Recardo - The Patch [Sifting Sands] / Key Gm, BPM 100, 6:47, MP3 16.36 Mb
Recardo - Toth [Sifting Sands] / Key Fm, BPM 128, 3:23, MP3 8.22 Mb
Recardo - Transmission [Sifting Sands] / Key Gm, BPM 128, 9:12, MP3 22.12 Mb
Recardo - Two [Sifting Sands] / Key Abm, BPM 131, 10:00, MP3 24.11 Mb
Recardo - Unknown Dub [Sifting Sands] / Key Am, BPM 120, 5:02, MP3 12.26 Mb
Recardo - Vortex [Sifting Sands] / Key Gm, BPM 120, 5:25, MP3 13.04 Mb
Recardo - Why [Sifting Sands] / Key Cm, BPM 120, 6:15, MP3 15.12 Mb
Recardo - Zero [Sifting Sands] / Key Dm, BPM 116, 4:35, MP3 11.07 Mb
Recardo - Zero G [Sifting Sands] / Key Abm, BPM 94, 4:10, MP3 10.04 Mb
Red Pulse - Angel [Ubuntu Psy Records] / Key Gm, BPM 140, 4:21, MP3 10.73 Mb
Red Pulse - Effected [Ubuntu Psy Records] / Key Fm, BPM 130, 5:34, MP3 13.66 Mb
Red Pulse - I See Heaven [Ubuntu Psy Records] / Key Gm, BPM 142, 4:47, MP3 11.78 Mb
Red Pulse - Is My Time [Ubuntu Psy Records] / Key Gm, BPM 142, 4:10, MP3 10.29 Mb
Red Pulse - Special [Ubuntu Psy Records] / Key Am, BPM 142, 4:02, MP3 9.96 Mb
Red Pulse - Wonderfull One [Ubuntu Psy Records] / Key Abm, BPM 142, 5:53, MP3 14.42 Mb
Red Pulse, BlackHood - Remember [Ubuntu Psy Records] / Key Em, BPM 140, 4:48, MP3 11.81 Mb
Red Pulse, InsideOut BR - See It Coming [Ubuntu Psy Records] / Key Dbm, BPM 142, 5:33, MP3 13.62 Mb
Red Pulse, YAAN - Seremos Livres feat. Yaan [Ubuntu Psy Records] / Key Gm, BPM 142, 4:20, MP3 10.70 Mb
Repart - Dandelion [Systolic Label] / Key Dm, BPM 128, 6:00, MP3 14.63 Mb
Roman Crash, Odarka - Vesnyanca [Gonivo Records] / Key Dm, BPM 120, 5:44, MP3 14.11 Mb
S.F.A - Umoya [Euphoric Echo Records] / Key Dbm, BPM 113, 6:49, MP3 16.72 Mb
SHADXWBLXDE, Kxstanax - STAY BACK! [Merphi Music Group] / Key Cm, BPM 107, 2:42, MP3 6.74 Mb
SLAYJAY - Wanderlust [Future Cuts] / Key G, BPM 126, 3:11, MP3 8.03 Mb
STI Project - Dreaming You [Queenside Recordings] / Key F#m, BPM 123, 2:30, MP3 6.17 Mb
Sam Fletcher, Ruslan Aschaulov - Awakening [SounEmot State] / Key B, BPM 138, 7:53, MP3 19.14 Mb
Siki - Stay Close [Siki] / Key D, BPM 128, 2:38, MP3 6.47 Mb
Stormy - BBOY [Diffuse Reality Records] / Key G, BPM 138, 4:24, MP3 10.80 Mb
Stormy - Connect [Diffuse Reality Records] / Key Fm, BPM 116, 4:25, MP3 10.82 Mb
Stormy - Miss Honey [Diffuse Reality Records] / Key Bbm, BPM 147, 5:12, MP3 12.69 Mb
Stormy - Nervousness [Diffuse Reality Records] / Key Gm, BPM 145, 5:24, MP3 13.21 Mb
Stormy - Out of range [Diffuse Reality Records] / Key Cm, BPM 125, 4:13, MP3 10.37 Mb
Stormy - Runnin Out [Diffuse Reality Records] / Key Gm, BPM 138, 4:45, MP3 11.64 Mb
Sub Accent - V-Trancer [Systolic Label] / Key Em, BPM 133, 5:51, MP3 14.25 Mb
Thanatos, KAT3X - DOPE (RAVE ON) [KATEXIS] / Key Fm, BPM 157, 6:07, MP3 15.02 Mb
Thanatos, Tracy - SHOCK (Original) [KATEXIS] / Key Abm, BPM 127, 7:49, MP3 19.10 Mb
The Electric Mist Orchestra - Caught Adrift [Lamp] / Key A, BPM 120, 3:58, MP3 9.83 Mb
The Watermelon Summer Crew - Have A Good Time (Dub Mix) [Superkinki Music] / Key Dm, BPM 124, 2:53, MP3 7.03 Mb
Tosca - Un Marciano Sentado en el Ala (Remix) [TOSCA] / Key Ebm, BPM 132, 2:29, MP3 6.05 Mb
Turtlecommercial - NEWJEANS (Sped Up) [Broke] / Key Em, BPM 134, 2:03, MP3 5.08 Mb
VicTone - Smash Hit [SounEmot State] / Key Bbm, BPM 140, 5:45, MP3 14.05 Mb
Vicious Pink - Alien Patience [Minimal Wave] / Key F#m, BPM 72, 5:20, MP3 13.19 Mb
Vicious Pink - Chaos 303 [Minimal Wave] / Key Dm, BPM 125, 3:32, MP3 8.90 Mb
Vicious Pink - Move Up Closer [Minimal Wave] / Key Dm, BPM 113, 2:19, MP3 5.98 Mb
Vicious Pink - Night Drive [Minimal Wave] / Key Abm, BPM 133, 3:21, MP3 8.43 Mb
Vicious Pink - Not Your Kind of Girl [Minimal Wave] / Key Db, BPM 120, 3:33, MP3 8.91 Mb
Vicious Pink - Perpendicular [Minimal Wave] / Key Am, BPM 116, 3:09, MP3 7.95 Mb
Vicious Pink - Slightly Ahead [Minimal Wave] / Key Am, BPM 115, 2:18, MP3 5.92 Mb
Vicious Pink - So You Want To Love Me? [Minimal Wave] / Key Cm, BPM 121, 3:38, MP3 9.14 Mb
Vicious Pink - South Side [Minimal Wave] / Key Em, BPM 135, 3:39, MP3 9.15 Mb
Vicious Pink - Undercover [Minimal Wave] / Key Dm, BPM 126, 6:15, MP3 15.42 Mb
Yamato Daka, D33tro7 - Spaceballs [Kinkanahia Music] / Key Bb, BPM 130, 4:29, MP3 10.95 Mb
arium pol - Senegal [Pollen Music] / Key C, BPM 144, 3:52, MP3 9.77 Mb
arium pol - oh, darling [Pollen Music] / Key C, BPM 138, 1:32, MP3 4.18 Mb
arium pol - rozmowa [Pollen Music] / Key Em, BPM 132, 4:04, MP3 10.24 Mb
arium pol - what I've got to do [Pollen Music] / Key Dbm, BPM 146, 3:32, MP3 8.98 Mb
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ZNS 2228

“You seem to be recovering rapidly,” Skvanu said happily to Ditvish, who sat up on the medical bed with some effort.
“The marvels of modern medical technology,” Ditvish remarked dryly. “What is the status of the fleet?”
“We have retrieved all the troops that we can from the planet, Ten Whiskers, and the remaining on the ground have been given instructions to fend for themselves until we can return in force again. We are ready to proceed to return to Gruccud whenever you give the word.”
Ditvish nodded. “Once we get back to Gruccud, we will gather as much supplies as we can find, and escort them back here.”
“Is that… wise, Ten Whiskers?” Skvanu asked. “There are so many indefensible systems between the two. We would have to find another orbital support fleet and conscript… dozens of ground divisions to replace what we have lost on Datsot just in the past few months.”
“Those are our orders, Skvanu. Moving as a whole fleet is… unconventional for us, but it is now a necessity given the clear information advantage the enemy has over us. The Lesser Predators’ Sixth Fleet is still out there,” Ditvish said darkly.
“Yes, we are taking precautions, but we think that even now, they do not have the numbers to challenge our entire fleet,” Skvanu replied. “I have been studying our recent failures. So far, they have relied on clever tricks to surprise us, and we have been so used to their incompetence that we fall for them. I do not believe their twelve squadrons of ships, even with the upgrades, can defeat us in large fleet battles yet.”
Ditvish nodded. He said nothing for a while. Then he asked, “Did we ever find your ships? The few that jumped in after the Oengro?”
“Unfortunately not, Ten Whiskers, I believe them to be dead. I take full responsibility for failing to pull—”
“I think we both know that to be an unnecessary ritual here, Skvanu. Besides, there will be plenty for us to take responsibility for when we get back to Gruccud.”
“I don’t suppose we can talk our way out of this one, Ten Whiskers?”
“Oh, don’t worry. It will probably just be formal reprimands. They won’t have our heads. State Security knows exactly who and what we are. Regardless of whether they order us to come back for Datsot, they still need us for the Lesser Predator home world,” Ditvish said, coughing. “After that, we will be heroes and our bloodlines will be honored… or we will end up in a shallow ditch on the very planet we conquer after a very brief trial hearing.”
Skvanu absorbed the information, thinking for a long time. He asked in a low voice, “Do you think what we have is the best… way to go about it?”
“You know, the last Znosian I know who asked that question too loudly, it didn’t end well for her.” Ditvish chuckled, knowing exactly what he meant despite the ambiguity. More seriously, he replied, “I don’t see a better way. Just look at the Lesser Predators, the chaotic bunch of them, look what good all their… strange ways have gotten them. The Federation and their… what do they call it? Snout counting to elect their leaders? Absurd!”
“It’s not over for them yet.”
Ditvish sighed. “No, I guess it is not.”

Black Site Deimos

The TRO’s black site had never been this busy. Hundreds of scientists and military officers had moved into the base to study and interrogate their new alien prisoners.
TRO operatives like Kara and John fit right into the crowd. Sitting in the corner of the room during lunch in the mess in their casual dress, they looked just like any two other civilian scientists here to get answers about Znosian social hierarchy or to evaluate their ability to do puzzles like rats in a maze.
Kara asked between sips of her fourth coffee of the day, “You think they will buy it yet? It’s all very circumstantial.”
“I don’t know,” John shrugged. “From what we know from our own history, security apparatuses in these kinds of societies can get paranoid. And from what I know from our own history, paranoid people do stupid things. I certainly think it’s a better idea now than when you first pitched it to me.”
“What changed your mind?” Kara asked curiously.
“Nothing changed my mind. Circumstances changed. Their recent losses have them shook. And the chaotic changes opened up opportunities. For example, that synthetic transmission gambit Mark routed to them wouldn’t have worked if Ditvish was still commanding from their battleship flagship. His original communications officer would have reported it,” John explained.
“Wouldn’t have mattered, I think,” Kara speculated. “Even if the Big Bun got wind of it and got suspicious, there’s not much he could have done. Maybe gotten to the planted supply ships first, but what was he going to do? Go ‘oh gee sorry, we actually found those ships we swear we lost but then they exploded when we got close’. Imagine how suspect that would have looked.”
“If he figured it out, he could have destroyed them himself,” John said.
Kara grinned. “You know what they say? It’s never about the crime; it’s about the coverup. The more he tried to cover up the mistakes, the more suspicion we’d be able to pin on him.”
John sniffed. “Maybe, but like I said, paranoid people do irrational things, and it was the losses that made them paranoid.”
“Hey, I’m not impinging on the honor of our Blood Drinker friends,” Kara said, raising her hands. “They’ve done great work… for being simple-minded Lesser Predators.”
John snorted. “You know, they call us paranoid too. Our whole species, not just our little book club.”
Kara smiled innocently. “I have no idea what they are talking about. We’re so open and transparent and we share everything we do with them.”
The operatives gathered around the computer to listen to the decrypted call intercepted by the listening ship in Gruccud. No one spoke for a minute.
Kara broke the silence. “Oof, that’s basically excommunication, isn’t it?”
“No,” Hersh corrected, “Worse. The standing order is more like arrest, torture, excommunication, and then execution.”
“That seems a little redundant. What’s the point of the excommunication then?”
“It’s religious. You wouldn’t get it,” Hersh replied dismissively.
“Hmmm… no I probably wouldn’t. Do you think he’ll come quietly when they call?” Kara asked.
Hersh shook his head. “Not like he has another choice. Lives forfeited to the Prophecy and all.”
“Do you think they’ll see through the ruse?”
“Maybe. After a while.”
Mark thought for a moment. “We don’t have to wait and see, do we? Let’s see if we can do something about it. Get me Admiral Waters. Actually, get me the Senator too. We’re going to need a bigger task force for this golden opportunity.”

TRNS Mississippi

The bridge crew watched as a single Znosian ship blinked out from their sensors.
“Of all the wrong lessons the Buns learned in the last month,” Admiral Amelia Waters commented, “This one right here might be my favorite.”
Captain Chuck Harris frowned. “Where are they sending that single ship?”
“If I’m not wrong,” Amelia said. “And I rarely am, they are sending a scout through to their destination first. To make sure Sixth Fleet isn’t waiting for them at the other end. Or I don’t know, maybe a black hole from our black hole generator weapon.”
“We have a black hole generator weapon?” Carla asked from behind her.
“That’s way above your paygrade, Commander Bauernschmidt,” Amelia winked. Then, looking at the massive enemy armada in front of her on the sensors, she sighed and added, “I wish we had a black hole generator now.”
“So… they are telegraphing the exact vector where their fleet is blinking to next,” Chuck summarized, the realization of the implication hitting him.
“Yup. Convenient, isn’t it? Makes it so we don’t even need our stealth drones. Setting us up perfectly for what I am from now on calling the Sphinx Gambit,” Amelia said smugly.
“But he didn’t invent it and I wanted to name—” Lee called out from her station.
“Well, XO, get yourself a few stars on your collar and you can name your own Bunny killing scheme.”
“You’re pulling rank for this?!”
“Yup, and it’s a perfectly good name… Anyway, playtime’s over. Get that blink vector and move us into their way. Oh… say, a couple light years into it. Make sure it’s a long drive either way. You know what they say… if you’re trying to kidnap someone, you don’t do it in the middle of downtown Olympus; you wait for them to drive somewhere nice and remote where no one will come looking for them for a long, long time.”
“Who says that? Nobody says that. Remind me never to go on a road trip with you alone, Amelia.”
“Just blink.”

ZNS 2228

“The scout ship arrived in Preirsput, Ten Whiskers. Everything is normal. They’re scouting the system with drones to ensure that it’s fully empty,” Skvanu reported.
“Good. Can’t be too careful with these Sixth Fleet Lesser Predators,” Ditvish nodded. “And— and whatever else.”
After a few hours, Skvanu reported that the system is clear of enemies… as far as they could tell.
He asked, “Where do you think they are going to go next?”
Ditvish thought for a moment, and replied, “The combat computer thinks they will dance back into Datsot and retake it.”
“What do you think?”
Ditvish smiled, proud that his subordinate now instinctively knew the difference. “Not sure. Datsot is a logical choice. Other than that, maybe a surprise attack from Stoers Shipyard into our main force garrisoned near the main front before we adapt to their new weapons and tactics.”
“In any case, nothing we should worry about?”
Ditvish nodded. “Hopefully not, though I did quietly file an analysis about that with Znos to make myself look good in case that happens.”
“That’s genius, Ten Whiskers.”
“Flattery doesn’t work on me, Skvanu. Is the fleet ready to go? Good. All ships, execute blink.”
A deafening noise that resembled a magnified crunch of a shuttle crash echoed throughout the battlecruiser’s hull. Sparks flew from electronic consoles. Dozens of klaxons activated simultaneously. And the bridge crew was inundated with hundreds of errors and alarms. Which only indicated that something was wrong, but its instruments were unsure what it was.
Ditvish sat up in his chair as he regained his bearings. “What is going on? I thought we were not scheduled to exit blink for another hour.”
Skvanu skimmed through the notifications on his console. “We are not where we are supposed to be, Ten Whiskers. Our propulsion and navigation sections are reporting numerous anomalies… and the same problems are repeating across the fleet. All squadrons are reporting in, scattered around us but still in formation.”
Ditvish looked at the computer officer, expecting her report.
She looked up. “Using the starfield outside, combat computer calculates we are exactly 2.3 light years from both our source and our destination. It speculates that our blink drive has been sabotaged by enemies.”
“Sabotaged?”
“Yes, Ten Whiskers. That is the most likely option it presents at this moment.”
“Did it elucidate a mechanism for how someone sabotaged every ship in my fleet?” Ditvish asked, his voice deathly calm.
“Yes, one of the recent software updates being tampered with is the hypothesis it favors at the moment.”
Ditvish shook his head. “Try again. Learning from a malfunction like that with another fleet two years ago, I ordered Squadron 14 not to apply the recent updates, and they’re right outside with us.”
“Yes, Ten Whiskers. I take responsibility for not checking the response appropriately,” the computer officer replied, her whiskers twitching in embarrassment. “All other possibilities were rejected by the computer for being too unlikely.”
“Tell it to keep watching and come back when it comes up with an actual theory. Skvanu, any updates from propulsion?”
“Ten Whiskers, propulsion is reporting— ahem, propulsion is reporting that we are out of blink fuel.”
“Out of blink fuel?” Ditvish asked incredulously. “How do we run out of blink fuel in the middle of a blink? Is that even possible?”
Skvanu deflected, his knowledge of the blink drive rudimentary at best, “That’s a good question, Ten Whiskers. The five whiskers in charge of 2228 ’s propulsion is on the line now.”
Ditvish looked straight into his console. “Five Whiskers, what just happened to my ships?!”
The panting officer with tussled head fur appeared on the screen. “Ten Whiskers, I take full responsibility for this failure in my department. We are still diagnosing the issue, but it seems that over the course of about 11.5 seconds, all the fuel in our blink drive was drained. We dropped out of blink because we ran out of fuel, which is a safety measure designed into the blink engine. Again, I take full—”
Ditvish interrupted his groveling. “Drained? To where? Where did our blink fuel go? Did we spring a leak?”
“That’s just impossible—” the officer replied instantly, before he remembered protocol. “That is… an extremely unlikely scenario, Ten Whiskers. There are very few conventional hydraulic pipes in the blink engine. If we did spring a leak, we would have all rejoined the Prophecy by now. However, we will check all possibilities… including that one. I apologize, Ten Whiskers, for our lack of knowledge and incompetence—”
Ditvish cut the intercom connection. The bridge crew was suddenly very quiet.
He looked around. “As you have heard, we are out of blink fuel. Any suggestions?”
The computer officer reported, “Combat computer recommends we call Gruccud for help with refueling our ships.”
“Ah,” Ditvish said. “That might be a problematic, considering our recent supply line issues… but it looks like we don’t have a choice. Communications officer, get in contact with Gruccud and start looking for a good solution with them. We are sitting prey, more vulnerable the longer we are here.”
“Yes, Ten Whiskers.”
“And we must make contingencies,” Ditvish said. “If we can’t get refueling ships out here, what are we doing?”
Seeing no one else speak up, Skvanu hazarded a guess. “If we transfer all the regular engine fuel in the fleet to the largest ships and put non-essential crew members in the deep hibernation pods, we might be able to get a few ships to the nearest system with a refueling source near us. It will take…” He did some numbers in his head. “A little over six months on our non-blink engines. We’ll reach FTL fast enough and the effects of relativity shouldn’t be too severe in our casualty bubbles. And that’s with aerobraking at the other end… There are stories of ships surviving without resupply for years—”
Ditvish shook his head. “We won’t last a week. We have combat ships, not long-range explorers. Half the fleet will be dead from lack of maintenance or supplies before we are even prepared for such a journey… Anyone else? No? Looks like our only real choice is relying on the fleet at Gruccud to come refuel us. Communications officer, see if they can cobble together as many combat ships as they can and have it escort some fuel to us.”
The communication officer bowed her head. “Ten Whiskers, I am trying, but they have not been responding to my requests. I take full responsibility for my inability to get into contact—”
Ditvish stood up, alarm rising in his chest. “Allow me a guess. None of the other sectors are responding, and none of the other ships in the fleet can get in touch with anyone else either.”
“Yes, Ten Whiskers.”
“I see. In that case, we have a much bigger problem than blink fuel,” he said, projecting a calmness he did not personally feel. “Fleet-wide, warm up the weapons and prepare for combat. Boost all sensors to maximum sensitivity. The enemy is near us. Find them.”

TRNS Mississippi

“The Buns are sweating,” Carla reported. “Or panting, really. There was just another intercepted local transmission. Their propulsion sections are under increasing pressure to find the answer. Rumor from the transmission is that a few of their captains have exercised field discipline on their equivalent of the head engineers. No executions yet, but we can only hope.”
Amelia nodded, “Good. Let’s give them another few hours. Unless they start spreading out and getting out of our jamming range to call out, the longer we wait—”
“—the lower their combat readiness?”
“Yup. They can’t be at red alert forever. We know where they are, and they don’t know where we are. We hold all the cards, so we get to dictate the terms of this engagement.”
The admiral looked towards the main external camera viewscreen. There was nothing on it but distant stars. Having to stay at the edge of the enemy’s effective detection range, the Znosian ships were too far away to see with the naked eye. And if she could visually spot any of the squadron of stealthy next generation missile destroyers assigned to her task force in the dark, then someone was not doing their job—
“Anything I should tell the other captains?” Carla asked, tracking her gaze.
“Nothing new. Regular shifts and break out the good stuff for dinner. Our spacers will be well-rested and well-prepared when we engage. And remind the Python-class captains to monitor those new heat sinks of theirs. If anything goes wrong, I want them to blink away and explain it to me later. Frankly, we might be facing down the armada, but I’m not too worried about us.”
“You’re thinking of the Puppers in the other task force?” Carla asked, concerned for them herself.
“Who else?”
“They just reported in they’re ready to go over there. We’ll be getting updates from the Amazon,” Carla assured her.
Amelia nodded reluctantly. “I know. I just can’t get images of what happened the last time they tried this out of my head. Remember that battle I told you about where they blamed the one—”
“They’re a different fleet now. Besides, we’ll finally get to try out some of our new equipment.”
Previous
Chapter 55: Clear Path

I continue to have the best time exploring my way through Nocturne Alchemy! My previous NAVA reviews are here:

• Batch #1, my favorites including Alchemist Chamomile, Cardamom Musk, Afternoon Tea Cat, and Eternal Ankh Snow
• Batch #2, my favorites including Honeysuckle Crystalline, Snowy Woolly, and Love & Otters
• Batch #3, my favorites including Crystalline #8 and #9, Eternal Ankh Violet, Butterfly Orange and Butterfly Yellow, Tea Rex, and Peter
• Batch #4, my favorites including Spring '23 Musk, Mourning Tea, Aset's Frangipani Sandalwood, Eternal Ankh Rose de Mai, and Eternal Ankh Summer
• Batch #5, my favorites including Eternal Tut Ankh Amun, Eternal Ankh Labradorite, Masquerade RA, and V by Thoth
• Batch #6, my favorites including Sandalwood Musk, Tibetan Crystalline, and Incense Chai

Now here's my next 20 reviews for your reading pleasure!
Nocturne Alchemy, sometimes known as "NAVA" from when they combined Nocturne Alchemy and VApothecary, is one of the most expensive houses, and I want to point out that you don't have to buy hundreds of dollars of full-sizes in order to explore their catalog and enjoy their artistry. I owe huge thanks to everyone who has sold or gifted me a decant, sample, or partial bottle. In fact, I have never actually ordered direct from the house myself! My best advice, if you want to explore NAVA, is to include freebie sniffies in your Ajevie order. When you check out, there's a text box in which you can ask for NAVAs specifically, and if they're available, they'll send you empty full-sizes! There's almost always still enough left to try, and it's been a great (and fantastically cost-effective) way for me to experience so many of NAVA's perfumes. You don't get to pick what you get, of course, but that in itself has been useful because it has allowed me to try a wide range of NAVA's notes, including some things I wouldn't have picked for myself (as you can see in a few of the reviews below). And then I can include these "empty" bottles as freebies when people order from my own destash - always great to spread the love!
Since folks keep saying it's helpful, I'll recopy my "basics of the NAVA collections" information. NAVA sells three categories of things:

• The Permanent Collection are those scents they always keep around. PC scents are available in small 2-mls (which range in price from $11.50 to $12.50) in addition to the larger full-size bottles. (This is useful because if you're placing an Ajevie order during a NAVA pre-order window, you can get PCs as reasonably affordable add-ons - this is a great way to try some of the most beloved NAVA scents.) Unfortunately, the vanillas are not PCs...
• Which brings us to the second category: Studio Limited scents. SL scents are basically permanent as far as I can tell, but they are not offered in 2-ml small sizes. This is troublesome when you're a newbie NAVA fan trying to learn your way around this house but not spend too much money. Ajevie will occasionally decant SL scents, but only when NAVA adds new ones to a given SL collection. Otherwise, you have to buy full-sizes, or seek a friendly decanter. This is where to find the famous "Vanilla Haven" and "Musk Haven" collections. u/anathemas has tried and reviewed a LOT of the musks (bless you!). u/araelykin of Arae Decantery is working on getting a lot of the Studio Limited scents, especially the Musk Haven, in stock as decants, and already has quite a few available for order.
• The third category is the one that seems to turn a lot of people off from this house: the Limited Edition collections. NAVA is a house that runs on FOMO (fear of missing out). Seasonally throughout the year (Valentines, spring, summer, Halloween, holiday, and so on), NAVA releases a giant Limited Edition collection that is made up of two parts. First, the new scents that year; second, the "Resurgence" scents, which are (most of) the scents newly introduced in the previous year. Thus, a given LE perfume is likely to be around for exactly two years, no more: the first year it appears, and the next year when it's a Resurgence. You can find a fantastically useful archive of NAVA LEs HERE (I refer to that handy website all the time!). On the one hand, this is a decent model because you can theoretically sample in the first year (from Ajevie or Arae, or for much faster shipping since they only deal with NAVA, Crypta Obscura; or by seeking decants/samples from this community a few months later) and then buy more the next year if you love it. The NAVA Facebook group contains really useful review roundup posts if you're wondering what folks think of any of these LE scents. On the other hand, this sales model absolutely encourages a spirit of frantic buying to stave off FOMO. ("Oh no, this is its second year, the scent will be gone forever, I must buy more than I'll ever actually realistically use!") The best advice I've heard is not to worry: NAVA recycles basic combinations a lot, so if you miss a particular perfume, chances are something similar will come around within a couple of years.

Permanent Collection

"Bastet's Garden" collection

• Frangipani Egyptian Musk [Egyptian Frangipani, Egyptian Jasmine, Egyptian Lilac, Italian Bergamot, Irish Plumeria resting gently in a bath of exquisite original Studio Limited - Egyptian Musk] - I really do adore NAVA's frangipani, but here it's wildly overpowered by the Egyptian musk. Egyptian musk always smells to me like a slightly salty skin musk (but a really strong one, not skin-hugging) that has been made golden, almost caramelized. To me, it goes really well with autumnal scents - resins, incense, spices; I especially like the use of Egyptian musk in Nui Cobalt Ailurophilia [Egyptian musk, tonka, and dulce de leche wrapped in luxuriant cashmere, soft suede, wisps of sandalwood and copal smoke] - but this is my first time trying it in a floral perfume, and perhaps my skin just amps it, because here it is too much. There's an undercurrent of velvety white florals, but this one feels unbalanced - as a Bastet's Garden, I wanted it to be florals foremost, with Egyptian musk in the background. This would be much more successful for me with Bastet's Musk instead.
• White Pear Crystalline [Egyptian White Pear Accord, African Mandarin Essence, a quiet drop of Vanilla of Crystalline and Vanilla of Moonstone] (Note - mine is the old version, not the reformulated 2024 version) - It's named "Crystalline," but it's thicker and richer with touches of vanilla frosting, so coming back to the notes list I wasn't surprised at all to see Moonstone also listed. The pear is soft and fruity and a bit fantasy rather than realistic, and I could swear I get a touch of rose petal as well.

"Dragons, Gargoyles & Mythology" collection

• Artemisia [White Musk, Skin Musk, Bastet's Musk, Tibetan Musk, Vetiver essence, Nevada Sage, Benzoin, Fresh Dirt accord, Vanilla, Dragon’s Blood Incense resin] - This is a remarkably tame, soft and gentle dragon's blood. The whole scent is quiet and velvety, mostly pillowy skin musk with Tibetan incense and dragon's blood incense in the background. The dirt feels more "light grey ash" than "dirty".
• Dionysus [Teak Wood, Mahogany Wood, Honey & Almond accord, Heliotrope, White Musk, Dragon’s Blood resin, eNVie ambre saphir] - A soft, powdery dragon's blood (I honestly didn't know that was possible! Dragon's blood usually hits me over the face) plus a honeyed almond that reminds me really strongly of Nui Cobalt's, Silver Fox [White tea with honey and rice milk, almond macaron, soft grey cashmere and cool woodland musk] in particular, over a base of white musk and powdery heliotrope (which are definitely doing a lot to soften the dragon's blood). As it dries, the dragon's blood does come out more strongly - definitely not for me. If I must do NAVA dragon's blood, I liked Selene more than this one.
• Selene [Dragon Blood Incense, French Vanilla, Vanilla Fleck (and sifted) of Tahiti, White Pepper, Crystal and Egyptian Musks, Dragon's Blood Tears (resin), and aged Moonstone Vanilla] - My blind guesses, not remembering any of the notes list, were lunar musk, ash, and non-gourmand vanilla. It's a very calm, ever so slightly soapy scent, and has very much a lunar effect. Now that I'm seeing the notes list, I can definitely make out the white pepper, which adds just a bit of ashy bite to the vanilla (like in Arcana Haint). And yes, I can now identify the dragon's blood, but it's the calmest, most serene dragon's blood I've ever encountered.

Studio Limited

Originals

• Pink Quartz [Pink Vanilla Blossom, Crystalline, Crimson Egyptian Musk, Bastet’s White Amber Absolute, and a minimal drop of aged Oak] - This sugary pink floral-vanilla musk isn't a bad substitute for Eternal Ankh Pink [White Amber Absolute, Powdered and reconstructed oil of Egyptian Vanilla Husk, Vanilla fleck, African White Vanilla Absolute, Amber Resin, Bastet’s Amber, Pink Sugar and a touch of Crimson Musk] if you can't find the latter. Pink Quartz has more of that fruity warm Crimson red musk than EA Pink does, which (alas, because it's hard to find - I myself have only ever managed to find a half-ml decant) means that I do prefer EA Pink over Pink Quartz. Husband's reaction: "ooh, very nice!" It dries down to a whole lotta Crimson, and at this point I washed it off because I'm here for the vanilla-floral, not the red musk.

Deux

• Indigo/Crystalline [Indigo: Words to visualize with this perfume oil are 'heavenly,' 'purple,' 'peaceful,' 'ethereal,' and 'grounding'; imported African Musk. Crystalline: A thick viscous Vanilla that comes on soft and subtle creates a cacophony of a beautiful cloud of vanilla purity. It is not a food vanilla, but one that makes you feel at peace, tranquil, and right with the world. Crystalline, named in 2009 - for the signature Vanilla scent it creates, is one solid scent of uplifting Vanilla from the stigma of a Vanilla Orchid, especially for this perfume. Wear alone or layered with most any NA perfume from our site. Crystalline is composed of a supple skin musk to lift the vanilla note. Crystalline is a naturally occurring viscous perfume oil due to its vanilla components.] - It's heavenly, ethereal, restful, peaceful, all right, a soft velvet purple haze…but alas, there's something ever so slightly too animalic at close range, that Indigo musk too sheepy or b.o-ish for me to really relax into this scent. I do love the way NAVA blends Crystalline into other things, it's such a wonderful base.

Limited Edition

Eternal Ankh Colors & Gems

• Eternal Ankh Pearl [Crystalline Absolute, aged Bastet Amber Absolute, Heliotrope EO, Siberian Rhododendron EO, White Amber Absolute, Powdered and reconstructed oil of Egyptian Vanilla Husk, Vanilla fleck and Vanilla bean] - I'm in love! It's a baby powder-ish, delicate and ethereal white floral. Is this what rhododendrons smell like? If so, I want one! "Pearl" is exactly the right description for this shimmery white scent. Those florals float on a cloud of Eternal Ankh - of all the EA Colors and Gems I've tried, this one has the strongest proportion of the original EA vanilla with its slightly sandy quality. If this ever comes back around from the house, I would absolutely FS this; it's absolutely glorious. It also has pretty astonishing longevity for such a delicate scent, lasting basically the entire day on me.

Thoth's Archive Winter 2024

• Blueberry Musk [Bastet’s Musk absolute (Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily), Blueberry essence, Snow Blueberry accord, Bastet’s Amber absolute, eNVie saphir absolute, and Blueberry Mallow essence accord] - It goes on as artificial, over-sweet candied blueberries, but within a few minutes the blueberry calms down and the soft luscious vague white floral blanket of the Bastet's Musk kicks in, and it because just incredibly velvety and pretty, a blueberry-floral-musk. I had thought perhaps this would be best as a layering note, but to my surprise I'm finding I enjoy it quite enough all on its own! Longevity isn't great, but I never expected it to be, and lasting about three hours, it's actually slightly longer than I thought it would be. And it's awfully pretty!
• Raspberry Musk [Bastet’s Musk absolute (Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily), Wild Transylvanian Raspberry accord, Raspberry skin accord, Crystalline (Studio Limited Vanilla) absolute, Bastet’s Amber absolute, eNVie saphir, Bastet’s Ice Cream Essence] - A fairly realistic raspberry - tart and sweet, juicy but also with a hint of bitter greenery - paired with the soft velvety white florals of Bastet's Musk. I don't get any amber or ice cream; my nose is simply reading them as part of the Bastet's Musk background, if at all. I don't wear raspberry perfumes much (and this is very much a raspberry single-note) so I'll try it alongside my Poesie Fan Dance [Sugar-dusted tart raspberries, vanilla bean, and powder-white skin] this summer and see which one I want to keep because I don't think I need both.

Holiday 2023

• Dream Musk [Blue Chamomile Paste extraction, Bulgarian and Moroccan Rose blend, Jasmine, Ylang Ylang, Sandalwood, Lavender, French Lavender, Cola root extract, Cola accord, Caramel, Frangipani, and Bastet’s Musk absolute] - I love NAVA's blue chamomile note, and I'm coming to realize how much I love their seasonal musks, so this one was kind of an automatic purchase for me. The cola note in the description took me aback, a bit, but I figured it was still very much worth a try! And as expected, this one is gorgeous. Any mix of florals from NAVA, even those that contain jasmine (usually a note I steer clear of), tend to be astonishingly velvety, soft and plush, and super luxurious-feeling, with great longevity, and this is no exception! Here in Dream Musk, blue chamomile is at the fore of the otherwise well-blended florals. And yes indeed, there's a definite cola note, especially when wet - but it really kind of works and makes this a much more cold-weather scent when it could otherwise definitely be extremely springtime. Dry, the cola reads more like an undertone of frankincense, which grounds the florals in a really lovely way.
• Parisian Musk [Lily of the Valley accord, Muguet Musk accord, eNVie saphir absolute, Honeysuckle extraction, Honeysuckle sugar accord, Bastet’s Musk absolute and White Musk] - Super unique in NAVA's catalog? No - but gorgeous as always! NAVA has the most wonderful soft velvety florals, and to my great delight this one features the honeysuckle prominently. There's nothing sharp or loud about this scent - though the perfume itself has great throw and longevity, the florals are feathery and glossy, with the slight lime-ish quality I always get from honeysuckle. The Bastet's Musk helps keep them soft and delicate, and the Saphir, barely noticeable, grounds them so that the floral scent has depth, richness, and longevity. Parisian Musk is closer to Masquerade RA [Honeysuckle Nectar accord, SLO Egyptian Musk, Veil Vanilla Bean Absolute, eNVie saphir Absolute, Amber Resin, and Bastet’s Musk Absolute] )though it has a LOT less amber) than it is to Eternal Ankh Labradorite [White Amber light, Powdered and reconstructed oil of Egyptian Vanilla Husk, Vanilla fleck, enfleurage of South American Honeysuckle (Lonicera japonica), gorgeous Crystalline Absolute infused Bastet's Amber Absolute blend and a drop of pure Egyptian Honeysuckle and Peony Extract], which has more vanilla and white amber, but if you missed EA Labradorite and are looking for another really fabulous NAVA honeysuckle, this one is a phenomenal choice. The first time I tried Parisian Musk, I liked it but wasn't wowed, but honestly I haven't been able to keep away from it ever since. It has definitely become one of my top-favorite NAVAs!

Summer 2023

• Crystalline #10 [Toasted Coconut, Coconut Pulp, Caramelized Sugar, Tonka, Coconut Milk, Bastet’s Musk, eNVie saphir, Crystalline (Studio Limited Originals)] - Sweetened coconut. It's simple yet gorgeous. The sugary note helps it avoid sunscreen status, and there's something really light and refreshing about this one. Longevity is not great though.
• Amber Cotton Candy & Honey Bee [Fossilized Amber accord, Bastet’s Amber absolute, Labdanum, Patchouli, Sandalwood, Cedar Chips, Cotton Candy accord, Vanilla-sugar, Whipped Orange Blossom Honey accord, Languid Amber Cordial accord (rich PC Ozymandias amber absolute), French Vanilla, Caramel and Raspberry Essence] - I don't buy NAVA's Bees because their honey doesn't work on me - their orange blossom honey is quite cloying, sickly sweet, and a bit urinous on me. This was a freebie sniffie bottle from Ajevie, which I still tried because it's always fun to try new things, and because (having experienced the orange blossom honey before) I figured I could overlook the honey to evaluate the other notes. This amber definitely has a thick, syrupy quality to it - I get almost a whiff of their limestone accord - and it's heavy on the labdanum. The pink spun-sugar cotton candy note amps the already quite sweet honey note. I also, to my surprise, actually can make out a touch of tart juicy raspbery - but not any patchouli.

Halloween 2022

• Dia de los Muertos - Fuego [Black Cardamom, Wood Ember accord, Smoke, Mexican Wedding Cake accord (ground almonds, powdered sugar, and sugared butter) and the perfume of Horchata; a drink made from ground up rice along with sweet cinnamon sugar infused with almond milk and blended into Studio Limited Vanilla, Crystal. Horchata - (light spices of clove, nutmeg, allspice and cinnamon)] - I can't get past the thick, cloying ember smoke, which sticks in my throat and leans barbeque-y. If I sort of hold my breath and sniff, yes, I can get some underlying cardamom and baked-good sweetness, but oh my gosh I can't handle the smoke. Husband sniffed my wrist and pointed out curry powder, which I can totally see. He laughed and said he kind of likes it!

Summer 2022

• Eclipse Ambrosia [Sugared Summer White Tuberose, Velvet Jasmine, Sugared Ylang Ylang, Vanilla Custard Crème accord, Tonka Bean absolute, Labdanum, Benzoin, Eternal Ankh Vanilla absolute, Moonstone absolute and African Vanilla] - Huh, there's no coconut listed, but the first note I get Is delicate white coconut flesh, followed by a gentle pink tuberose. This is a very feminine, softly floral scent with a tropical flair. I like it - and it's further evidence that I don't need to be nervous when I see jasmine or ylang ylang listed for a NAVA perfume - but I don't love it so much that I'll seek out more after this sniffie.

Spring 2022

• Crystalline Rose de Mai [Our much-loved Crystalline Studio Limited aged to perfection for this particular blend of Vanilla from the stigma of a Vanilla Orchid, Vanilla Bean extract, Bastet’s Musk blended into the special Rose de Mai perfume oil blend] - Sugared rose petals, sweet and pink and absolutely lovely. I really do get sugar crystals alongside the rose (and not, as I expected, immediately recognizable Crystalline vanilla). This is such a delicate and dainty scent, though sweet enough that it also feels quite girlish and youthful. It reminds me of Wylde Ivy's Love Note collection, all sugar and floral and femininity, and also of Death & Floral Macarons & Roses [Sugared rose macarons with a light raspberry and strawberry cream filling]. However, Crystalline Rose de Mai is really too sweet for me, and I found myself always reaching for Eternal Ankh Rose de Mai instead, so I destashed this one.

Holiday 2021

• Whale Totem [Copaiba Balsam, Amber Incense, Musk Incense, drop of Ambergris accord (vegan) and Bastet’s Amber Absolute] - I absolutely see why everyone raves about this - it's ethereal, alluring, captivating, the best kind of my-skin-but-better scent. For me it's a multifaceted grey musk, white amber plus a delicately dirty, slightly salty musk. It is totally work-appropriate but also totally unique. And as much as I appreciate its beauty, and see why everyone loves it, it's also not quite my thing - I don't think its gossamer "dirtiness" suits my general persona or wardrobe. I suspect I'd always reach for a white amber or a silk note (now that I think about it, this is very similar conceptually to Arcana Moth-Like Stars [Creamy white amber, elegant cashmere, soft silk voile, salty Ambroxan, and diaphanous musk], which I love) before I'd reach for this. I'm truly delighted to have had the chance to try this, and I was also happy to pass it along to someone seeking it.

Spring 2021

• Orchid Yellow [Kobalt Vanilla SL Absolute, Dogwood accord, Sweet Egyptian Musk, Plumeria and Cyclamen] - First and foremost is the dogwood, an extremely musky that truly reads to my nose more like a dirty, earthy cottonseed than a floral. I'm not opposed to dogwood - I love it in Nui Cobalt Robin's Egg [Dainty forget-me-nots and lily of the valley, a dollop of whipped blueberry creme, and a cozy birch nest tucked into a flowering dogwood tree] - but here it's too strong and makes the perfume unbalanced. Along with the musky dogwood I get lime soda, with a very distinct fizzy note. Apparently cyclamen can be quite aldehydic, so that's probably where the fizz comes from. Meanwhile, I adore NAVA's plumeria, but I really don't get any of that intoxicating while floral here, except for the lime overtone I associate with plumeria. Orchid Yellow is a swing and a miss for me, unfortunately.

Valentines 2018

• Cardamom & Coconut Milk [Beautiful pure Sri Lanka Cardamom essential oil bathed in creamy California coconut milk, an ember of coconut husk smoke, Indonesian Vanilla bean with natural hints of caramel and chocolate notes] - Oh this is absolutely lovely - not too foodie, artificial, or sweet! Just a very vanilla-ish coconut milk that highlights the cardamom so well. This cardamom also feels spicier, more like Poesie's than most of NAVA's cardamom notes which feel a little musty and disappear quickly. (The cardamom does recede within about an hour, but unlike some - looking at you, Meditating Raccoon - Cardamom & Coconut Milk isn't left feeling "empty" but only less spiced.) Pity I could only eke out one scant wear from my sniffie.

When our characters suffer addiction we know little about we should look up these different things to add into the description of the traits to provide more depth and reality to them. It makes it more three dimensional and can build into different subplots that are integrated into a larger storyline.
Here are just a few of the things people are addicted to and how those addictions are manifested into traits that are part of a full character profile.

1. Alcohol:
   
   • Dependence
   • Craving
   • Tolerance
   • Withdrawal symptoms
   • Loss of control
2. Tobacco:
   
   • Nicotine dependence
   • Habitual use
   • Respiratory issues
   • Withdrawal symptoms
   • Health deterioration
3. Cocaine:
   
   • Intense euphoria
   • Increased energy
   • Agitation
   • Paranoia
   • Rapid heart rate
4. Heroin:
   
   • Euphoria
   • Drowsiness
   • Needle marks
   • Respiratory depression
   • Nausea
5. Marijuana:
   
   • Altered perception
   • Memory impairment
   • Lack of coordination
   • Dependence
   • Impaired judgment
6. Prescription opioids:
   
   • Pain relief
   • Sedation
   • Dependence
   • Tolerance
   • Respiratory depression
7. Benzodiazepines:
   
   • Anxiety relief
   • Sedation
   • Dependence
   • Withdrawal symptoms
   • Memory impairment
8. Methamphetamine:
   
   • Increased alertness
   • Euphoria
   • Agitation
   • Psychotic symptoms
   • Cardiovascular issues
9. Gambling:
   
   • Compulsive behavior
   • Financial losses
   • Obsessive thoughts
   • Relationship strain
   • Chasing losses
10. Video games:
    
    • Escapism
    • Social isolation
    • Obsessive gaming
    • Impaired daily functioning
    • Disrupted sleep
11. Social media:
    
    • Constant checking
    • Fear of missing out (FOMO)
    • Validation-seeking behavior
    • Time distortion
    • Negative impact on mental health
12. Internet:
    
    • Excessive online time
    • Cyber addiction
    • Social disconnection
    • Impact on real-life relationships
    • Compulsive browsing
13. Shopping:
    
    • Compulsive buying
    • Financial strain
    • Temporary emotional relief
    • Hoarding tendencies
    • Impaired financial decision-making
14. Work:
    
    • Workaholism
    • Neglect of personal life
    • Burnout
    • Constant need for achievement
    • Difficulty delegating tasks
15. Exercise:
    
    • Compulsive exercising
    • Exercise as a primary source of identity
    • Physical strain
    • Disregard for rest and recovery
    • Negative impact on mental health
16. Food:
    
    • Binge eating
    • Emotional eating
    • Loss of control
    • Negative body image
    • Compulsive overeating
17. Sugar:
    
    • Craving for sugary foods
    • Energy crashes
    • Weight gain
    • Increased risk of health issues
    • Difficulty moderating intake
18. Coffee:
    
    • Caffeine dependence
    • Increased tolerance
    • Physical withdrawal symptoms
    • Disrupted sleep
    • Jitters and restlessness
19. Tea:
    
    • Caffeine dependence
    • Ritualistic consumption
    • Calming effect
    • Impact on hydration
    • Withdrawal headaches
20. Energy drinks:
    
    • Excessive caffeine intake
    • High sugar content
    • Stimulant-induced alertness
    • Potential health risks
    • Dependency for energy boost
21. Sex:
    
    • Compulsive sexual behavior
    • Relationship strain
    • Risky sexual activities
    • Obsessive thoughts
    • Impact on daily functioning
22. Pornography:
    
    • Excessive consumption
    • Escapism
    • Distorted views of relationships
    • Impact on sexual health
    • Relationship strain
23. Prescription medications:
    
    • Dependence on medication
    • Over-reliance
    • Impact on physical health
    • Potential for misuse
    • Tolerance
24. Codeine:
    
    • Pain relief
    • Sedation
    • Dependence
    • Respiratory depression
    • Misuse potential
25. LSD:
    
    • Altered perception
    • Hallucinations
    • Distorted sense of time
    • Potential for psychological distress
    • Flashbacks
26. MDMA (Ecstasy):
    
    • Increased empathy
    • Euphoria
    • Dehydration
    • Hyperactivity
    • Potential for overheating
27. Ketamine:
    
    • Dissociation
    • Hallucinations
    • Impaired motor function
    • Dependence
    • Bladder and urinary issues
28. Inhalants:
    
    • Euphoria
    • Dizziness
    • Short-term hallucinations
    • Potential for brain and organ damage
    • Sudden sniffing death
29. Caffeine:
    
    • Stimulant effects
    • Dependence
    • Withdrawal headaches
    • Increased heart rate
    • Insomnia
30. Nicotine:
    
    • Stimulant effects
    • Dependence
    • Withdrawal symptoms
    • Increased heart rate
    • Respiratory issues
31. Sex:
    
    • Compulsive sexual behavior
    • Relationship strain
    • Risky sexual activities
    • Obsessive thoughts
    • Impact on daily functioning
32. Pornography:
    
    • Excessive consumption
    • Escapism
    • Distorted views of relationships
    • Impact on sexual health
    • Relationship strain
33. Prescription medications:
    
    • Dependence on medication
    • Over-reliance
    • Impact on physical health
    • Potential for misuse
    • Tolerance
34. Codeine:
    
    • Pain relief
    • Sedation
    • Dependence
    • Respiratory depression
    • Misuse potential
35. LSD:
    
    • Altered perception
    • Hallucinations
    • Distorted sense of time
    • Potential for psychological distress
    • Flashbacks
36. MDMA (Ecstasy):
    
    • Increased empathy
    • Euphoria
    • Dehydration
    • Hyperactivity
    • Potential for overheating
37. Ketamine:
    
    • Dissociation
    • Hallucinations
    • Impaired motor function
    • Dependence
    • Bladder and urinary issues
38. Inhalants:
    
    • Euphoria
    • Dizziness
    • Short-term hallucinations
    • Potential for brain and organ damage
    • Sudden sniffing death
39. Caffeine:
    
    • Stimulant effects
    • Dependence
    • Withdrawal headaches
    • Increased heart rate
    • Insomnia
40. Painkillers:
    
    • Pain relief
    • Tolerance
    • Dependence
    • Risk of overdose
    • Respiratory depression
41. Sleeping pills:
    
    • Sedation
    • Dependence
    • Tolerance
    • Impaired cognitive function
    • Disrupted sleep patterns
42. Compulsive lying:
    
    • Habitual dishonesty
    • Concealing the truth
    • Strained relationships
    • Loss of trust
    • Need for constant validation
43. Plastic surgery:
    
    • Body dysmorphic tendencies
    • Constant pursuit of perfection
    • Psychological impact
    • Financial strain
    • Societal pressure
44. Cutting/self-harm:
    
    • Coping mechanism
    • Emotional release
    • Negative emotions relief
    • Risk of infection
    • Concealing scars
45. Powecontrol:
    
    • Manipulative behavior
    • Desire for dominance
    • Strained relationships
    • Lack of empathy
    • Fear-based control
46. Fame:
    
    • Constant pursuit of recognition
    • Validation-seeking behavior
    • Impact on mental health
    • Shifting priorities
    • Loss of privacy
47. Attention:
    
    • Constant need for validation
    • Disregard for personal boundaries
    • Impact on relationships
    • Social media-centric behavior
    • Self-worth tied to attention
48. Sugar-sweetened beverages:
    
    • High sugar content
    • Increased calorie intake
    • Weight gain
    • Tooth decay
    • Dependency on sugary drinks
49. Fast food:
    
    • High-fat content
    • High calorie intake
    • Dependence on convenience
    • Weight gain
    • Negative impact on health
50. Selfies:
    
    • Constant need for self-documentation
    • Validation-seeking behavior
    • Impact on self-esteem
    • Comparison to others
    • Social media-centric behavior
51. Cosmetic procedures:
    
    • Desire for physical enhancement
    • Psychological impact
    • Financial strain
    • Body dysmorphic tendencies
    • Societal pressure
52. Hoarding:
    
    • Compulsive accumulation of possessions
    • Difficulty discarding items
    • Impaired living space
    • Emotional attachment to objects
    • Strained relationships
53. Overeating:
    
    • Binge eating episodes
    • Emotional eating
    • Loss of control
    • Negative impact on physical health
    • Guilt and shame
54. Prescription stimulants:
    
    • Increased alertness
    • Improved focus and concentration
    • Dependence
    • Tolerance
    • Potential for misuse
55. Over-the-counter drugs:
    
    • Self-medication
    • Potential for misuse
    • Dependency
    • Health risks
    • Lack of professional guidance
56. Romantic relationships:
    
    • Codependency
    • Obsessive thoughts
    • Fear of abandonment
    • Emotional highs and lows
    • Strained personal identity
57. Codependency:
    
    • Excessive reliance on others
    • Neglect of personal needs
    • Difficulty setting boundaries
    • Fear of rejection
    • Strained relationships
58. Social approval:
    
    • Constant need for validation
    • Fear of judgment
    • Impact on self-esteem
    • Conforming behavior
    • Social media-centric validation
59. Thrill-seeking:
    
    • Constant pursuit of excitement
    • Risk-taking behavior
    • Impaired judgment
    • Adrenaline dependence
    • Impact on personal safety
60. Narcotics:
    
    • Pain relief
    • Sedation
    • Dependence
    • Tolerance
    • Health risks
61. Designer drugs (e.g., bath salts):
    
    • Intense euphoria
    • Hallucinations
    • Agitation
    • Increased heart rate
    • Severe health risks
62. Over-the-counter cough medicine abuse:
    
    • Euphoria
    • Dizziness
    • Hallucinations
    • Impaired coordination
    • Health risks
63. Social media stalking:
    
    • Compulsive checking of profiles
    • Intrusive thoughts
    • Obsessive behavior
    • Impact on mental well-being
    • Strained personal relationships
64. Fear of missing out (FOMO):
    
    • Constant need to be involved
    • Anxiety about social events
    • Comparison to others
    • Impact on mental health
    • Social media-centric anxiety
65. Collecting:
    
    • Compulsive acquisition of items
    • Difficulty discarding possessions
    • Emotional attachment to collections
    • Strained living space
    • Financial strain
66. Fantasy sports addiction:
    
    • Excessive time spent on fantasy sports
    • Impact on work or relationships
    • Obsessive tracking of player stats
    • Financial investment
    • Escapism from reality
67. Conspiracy theories obsession:
    
    • Constant consumption of conspiracy content
    • Alienation from mainstream information
    • Impact on critical thinking
    • Strained relationships
    • Difficulty accepting evidence-based information
68. Extreme diets:
    
    • Obsessive focus on dieting
    • Impact on physical health
    • Emotional distress related to food
    • Social isolation due to dietary restrictions
    • Negative body image
69. Extreme couponing:
    
    • Compulsive pursuit of discounts
    • Hoarding of coupons
    • Excessive stockpiling of items
    • Impact on financial well-being
    • Strained living space
70. Internet trolling:
    
    • Habitual provocative online behavior
    • Seeking emotional reactions
    • Anonymity-driven aggression
    • Strained online communities
    • Legal consequences
71. Spiritual bypassing:
    
    • Avoidance of negative emotions through spirituality
    • Denial of personal challenges
    • Strained relationships
    • Lack of emotional authenticity
    • Disconnect from reality
72. Extreme minimalism:
    
    • Compulsive decluttering
    • Obsessive focus on possessions
    • Strained relationships due to minimalistic lifestyle
    • Anxiety about material belongings
    • Rigidity in lifestyle choices
73. Gaming loot box addiction:
    
    • Compulsive spending on in-game purchases
    • Chasing virtual rewards
    • Financial strain
    • Impact on real-life responsibilities
    • Gambling-like behavior
74. Rumination:
    
    • Constant overthinking
    • Obsessive focus on past mistakes
    • Impact on mental health
    • Difficulty moving forward
    • Strained relationships
75. Approval-seeking behavior:
    
    • Constant need for validation
    • Fear of rejection
    • Impact on decision-making
    • Strained authenticity
    • Mental health implications
76. News addiction:
    
    • Compulsive consumption of news
    • Anxiety related to current events
    • Impact on mental well-being
    • Difficulty disconnecting from news cycle
    • Strained worldview
77. Anger addiction:
    
    • Habitual anger expression
    • Seeking confrontation
    • Strained relationships
    • Negative impact on mental health
    • Legal consequences
78. Religious zealotry:
    
    • Extreme devotion to religious beliefs
    • Intolerance of other perspectives
    • Strained relationships with non-believers
    • Willingness to harm others in the name of faith
    • Resistance to critical thinking
79. Mindless scrolling:
    
    • Excessive time spent on scrolling through content
    • Impact on productivity
    • Impaired attention span
    • Social isolation
    • Disrupted sleep patterns

I have had RLS (since I can remember) at 16, although I remember having sleep problems as a child so it’s quite possible it started much younger.
I’ve managed the condition using marijuana but tried ropinerole about 7 years ago. I came off of that after a few weeks due to the nausea and constant hot flushes.
During a pregnancy almost two years ago the symptoms became severe. I was of course not using marijuana during pregnancy and therefore was sleeping 2-3 hours per night, spending the night crying… then going insane as this progressed for around 8-10 weeks of sleep deprivation. Doctors wouldn’t take me seriously because they didn’t want to medicate me. Finally a sleep doctor prescribed codeine but the dose I required to get rid of my symptoms was too high for him to be comfortable. Then I was put on pramipexole (sifrol), this helped at 0.125 for a while and then needed to be increased to 0.250.
Edited (adding this part): I was iron deficient at this time and received an infusion and have had normal- high levels of iron since. The doctor has checked these levels a few times and is still happy with them, I can’t remember the number but I know it’s above the requirements for someone with RLS. I also had no relief from the infusion.
My symptoms started occurring earlier in the night, slowly moving from 8:30 to 7:30 and then earlier. And now I have RLS in the mornings, with my symptoms start from about 3am and continuing well into the morning, even happening while I am exercising at the gym. I will also have them if I sit or lay down during the day, at work, in lectures, at the movies, etc.
Sadly the pregnancy ended in a loss, not related to the medication or sleep issues, but I continued to take the medication and using medical marijuana and Valium for nights the symptoms were unbearable.
I have now been on pramiexole for about 1.5 years and it is clearly not working. I refuse to increase my dose because of augmentation and we are currently trying to conceive. I also notice a lack of impulse control at higher doses.
My sleep doctor prescribed me Targin to come off of pramipexole for 10 days (cold turkey I might add) and then go back on it to see if it ‘reset’ the medication, but this didn’t work.
But! When I was taking 5mg targin in the morning and 10mg targin at night, I no longer had RLS. It was amazing!
I went back to the doctor and told him that pramipexole isn’t working, I don’t want to increase, my symptoms have augmented severely to the point I have RLS 24/7 and I asked to be put on Targin. (Opiates are safer in pregnancy than dopamine agonists so this was part of my thought process - why keep taking something that doesn’t work that well and isn’t pregnancy safe). He refused as he is worried about dependence and then told me to increase my pramipexole dose instead… he gave me targin for breakthrough symptoms however targin is not effective for this because it takes 2 hours to kick in, and when I have breakthrough symptoms, I need something to work quickly. I tried to increase my pramipexole dose and stopped after two days because my impulse control was horrendous.
Between the last visit and next visit (next week) it has been almost two months. In the meantime, my husband and I are suspecting that pramipexole may be responsible for other psychological symptoms that I am experiencing. I experience an inability to deal with stress and end up with leaden paralysis quite often. I experience many of the symptoms of dopamine agonist withdrawal, no motivation, no interest in activities or hobbies. So my husband suggested I try to halve my dose back to 0.125 to see how I was, and my ability to deal with stress improved but my RLS is so severe that I am struggling to function. I went back to 0.250 and the same depressive symptoms occurred.
Anyway… sorry for the long post but I will be seeing my sleep doctor next week, I’ll be bringing my husband along to advocate for me because it seems my doctor doesn’t take me seriously. We want me to be off of pramipexole. I can’t take gabapentin due to its unsafe nature in pregnancy (but I also don’t even want to take this medication in the first place). For me, the only logical solution is daily opiate therapy. I would rather be dependent on opiates than to suffer the agony that I am in now. But my doctor won’t support this.
Any advice for my appointment or situation? (Absolutely no alternative medicine suggestions please and thank you)
Anyone else feel that dopamine agonists changed their personalities and caused them to be depressed?
Edited: I am located in Australia

Male, late 50s. I have had headaches virtually every day since first Covid bout in 2021. Still ongoing 2.5 years later. Rare in morning, usually afternoon/evening, coinciding with abrupt onset fatigue and feeling need to sleep.
Headaches are always burning’ in nature, like someone has rubbed my eyes and brain surface in chili.
Some relief from acetaminophen (paracetamol), codeine, Neurofen – needing to take in combination most days. Been trying Amytriptylline 20mg/day for past few months – slight dampening of pain but only that, has not reduced frequency.
Interestingly headaches more common if indoors, unusual if outside in fresh air.
With ongoing headaches really want to get off these daily drugs and moreover reduce what seems to be ongoing neuroinflammation from the Covid-induced immune response.
Have now developed mild balance, tremor, gait issues over past year. Saw neurologist, was rather dismissive, offered no treatment. Peripheral neuropathy in wake of Covid too, nerve conduction studies suggest small fibre neuropathy.
Really don’t like the thought of ongoing neuroinflammation and hate the thought that these ongoing headaches and other neurological symptoms may represent first signs of progressive brain injury, perhaps prefacing neurodegenerative disorders such as Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s. My anxieties in face of ongoing symptoms are founded, see e.g.[1]
I am now planning to try source low dose naltrexone (LDN) 1.0-4.5 mg/day because I want to stop the headaches and need to try stop any further neurodegeneration. LDN has been used in Long Covid to reduce pain and inflammation. It has potentially beneficial immune modulating effects and is anti-inflammatory. One leading neuroimmunologist also suggested LDN is promising and might work ‘for most’ with LC.[2] Small trials have also show some promise,[eg 3,4] but large randomised controlled trials are needed. A large Canadian trial is underway.[5]
Meanwhile, I am interested in readers’ experience with LDN to treat LC headaches and fatigue. Has it worked or not for you?
PS I sympathise and empathise with all members of this group and have benefitted from many past posts – thank you.
DOI: Medic.
Refs:
[1] Professor Ron Tjalkens. History Repeats Itself: Viral pandemics offer clues to neurodegenerative disorders. (21 Jun 2021) https://cvmbs.source.colostate.edu/viral-pandemics-offer-clues-to-neurodegenerative-disorders/
[2] Dr Nancy Klimas interview. TLC Sessions #74 (19 Apr 2024). https://www.tlcsessions.net/episodes/episode-74-nancy-klimas-md-neuroimmunology
[3] O’Kelly B, et al. (2022) https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666354622000758
[4] Isman A, et al. (2024) https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666354624000115
[5] Naik H et al. (2024) https://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/14/5/e085272.long

A wurm is an earth dragon, with a lower half like that of a lamia. She can't fly, and she's a little ditzy, but she's plenty lovable.
Guide to the script:
(words in italics): Suggested sound effects
(words not in italics): Voice cues and narration
Uaagh: Sleepy wurm
Eeeek: Happy wurm
It's okay to monetize this script, make minor edits to it and genderflip it. Please note that the sound effects are optional.
Script length: About 1.5K words
It's strange. I used to read a lot of monster girl stories before I got into ASMR. I don't do that anymore, but on some days, I'll remember a scene or a sentence from one of those stories. And then I'll want to write.
For the listener:
You return home from work to see your wurm girlfriend coiled up by herself in her ‘pillow fort’. A cold, fierce storm is raging outside and you know how much the thunder scares her. So the two of you snuggle up together and gossip, just the way things should be.
...
SCRIPT:

(Thunderstorm ambience. Rain and low rumbling of thunder are heard.)
Uaagh. Where were you?
I was worried you were stuck somewhere. I was about to go look for you, but you told me not to go outside on my own.
I know. People are afraid of me. Because I can smash through buildings. But I was worried. What took you so long?
Oh. The trains got delayed because of the thunderstorm?
Are you alright at least? (Sniffing) I do not smell any injury on you.
Good. Will you help me sleep? I couldn’t sleep because of the thunder. And I wanted snuggles. I missed you.
I get stressed when I can’t coil around you. And when I get stressed, I get hungry. So I ate all the chicken we had. But I still can’t sleep.
(Ruffling of sheets and pillows)
Yay! Let me coil around you. I can already feel your warmth.
(Coiling sounds)
Mmnnh. You’re so warm. How do you do it? How are you so warm?
Oh. Because humans are warm blooded. Yes, you told me earlier. But I forgot. Sorry.
Yes. You also told me not to apologise. Sorry.
Hmm? Why are you shaking your head? Is there an enemy present in this room?
That’s it, isn’t it? Where are they? I cannot see them. Are they hiding in the wall? Should I tear it down?
Oh. I did tear it down last week. But that’s because I thought you were trapped inside! I heard you calling from the other room but your voice was so faint and you were taking so long. I thought you needed help!
Are you mad at me?
(Sighing) You always say that. That you can never be mad at me. But I am not sure. You never take me outside with you. This morning, I saw some pigeons on the lawn and I went to say hi to them. I even used the doorknob this time instead of smashing through the door. I was really gentle. But the pigeons all flew away when they saw me coming.
It’s not just the birds. I wanted to know why the pigeons were scared of me, and so I asked a human who was walking outside. I only asked him why the birds flew away. But he ran away from me too. I just scare everyone away.
I don’t scare you?
Yeah. (Coiling tighter) You’re the only one who doesn’t run away from me. Even though I’m a monster.
No. I am a monster. I attacked you when we first met. I shouldn’t have done that. Friendly wurms don’t attack people.
I know. It was....instinct. That’s the word you used. When I saw you outside my cave, I-I wanted you. I’d never seen anything like you before. And so I just took you. I wouldn’t let you out of my coils! I know it was scary for you. I am sorry.
Yeah. I did agree to move into your house after that. Because I didn’t care as long as I had you. And because you said there’d be chicken. I like chicken.
Eeeek! I like it when you stroke my hair. It’s so soothing. It makes me want to snuggle up closer to you.
(Coiling sounds)
Thank you. For holding me. I don’t like thunder. The sound scares me. I can’t go to sleep when there’s a storm outside. Unless you’re with me.
Yeah. The thunder can’t hurt me. Because it’s far away. And because I’m a wurm. Wurms are strong! I think I’d be okay, if I was in my ancient form. Then I’d be an earth dragon as big as this house! But the thunder still scares me.
Human?
What causes thunder?
Lightning? You mean those bright flashes in the sky before that horrible noise?
Oh. I didn’t know they were called lightning. What is lightning made of?
Plaaz-ma. Ion….Ionized air. I don’t know what they are.
I saw those flashes of light before I met you, of course. I thought it was another dragon challenging me to a fight. And I was terrified of its roar. But I still tried looking for that dragon every time there was a thunderstorm.
Yeah. Because I thought that dragon could be my mother. Maybe she could fly and she was calling me to join her in the sky. But I don’t have wings.
Wurms can’t fly. But I didn’t know anything about mother. When I hatched, I was alone in the wild. There was nothing that looked like me. And there were no humans. No one to teach me how to fend for myself. I went hungry for the first few days and it was cold. It would rain often. I’d hide under a bush but my tail would still get wet. But the thunder was the scariest thing of all. I’d cover my ears with my claws but I’d still hear it. I didn’t know what to do.
Human, why do you look sad? That expression means you’re sad, right? You taught me that. Did I get it right this time?
You’re sad for what I had to go through? But it’s okay. It made me a strong wurm! I learnt how to catch prey, and how to protect myself from the weather by curling up in a cave. And if there was a spring deep inside the cave, then I could also stay warm!
Eeeek! You’re brushing my hair again. That feels nice. I’m so glad I met you in the forest. You’re the first human I ever saw. You’re special. You taught me how to use cutlery, and that I shouldn’t eat the plate along with the chicken. I’m sorry it took me a while to get that one right.
I forgot. You told me not to apologise. I’m sorry.
You’re sighing again. That means I messed up somehow, didn’t I? But I did as you asked! I didn’t leave the house today. I didn’t go outside because I didn’t want to scare any more humans after the first one ran away. I know I can be a burden. I’ve seen how people look at you when you try to defend me. It’s not much different from how they look at me when they think I’ve eaten their chicken or silverware. But I don’t do that. Not after you taught me it was wrong.
I wish I could go outside with you. I wish I wasn’t such a burden.
(Sighing) I know. You always say I’m not a burden. And you get really sad when I keep insisting. I don’t like seeing you sad.
It is true though that I don’t think like a human. I’m not as smart as most humans. But I....I’m not dumb. You always tell me I’m not dumb. And maybe you’re right.
I know if you have money, then you won’t be hungry. I know if you help strangers for free, then you’re kind. And kind people make for good friends. I know a good friend doesn’t leave you alone when it rains and thunders. I know the property of rain is to wet my scales, and of the sun to dry them. I know it gets dark at night because there is no sun, and pigeons can fly because they have wings. And I know something inside me hurts when you leave the house, but the hurt goes away when you come back to me.
I have to hide during the day because I’m not human. People are scared of me. But at night, when no one is looking, I can go outside with you. Slither beside you. Really quietly. And we can count how many streetlamps there are.
I do not know what face you’re making, human. I didn’t make you sad again, did I?
Eeeek! That must mean no. Are you happy with me? Do I make you happy?
Eeeeeek! You make me happy too. I want to try brushing your hair like you brush mine. One of these days....
No, I’m not cold anymore. You always keep me warm. And in the morning, all the pillows smell like you (giggling). Thank you for teaching me how to build a giant pillow fort! It’s just like my cave, but even comfier.
(Yawning) Uaagh. I think I can go to sleep now. The thunder can’t hurt me. (very softly) The thunder can’t hurt me. I have you with me.
Human?
You won’t run away from me, right?
(A brief kiss, as the listener reassures her)
I like it when you kiss me. Eeeek! You make me the happiest wurm in the world! I’ll...I’ll always protect you, okay? I won’t let anyone invade our pillow fort.
Good night. Can we get more chicken tomorrow? I want to eat chicken tomorrow.
Yay! I’ll go with you to the market. The shopkeeper gave us extra last time when he saw me. I don’t know why. I was hungry but I wasn’t going to eat him.
Yeah. I really do feel sleepy now. Good night, human.
Dar....Darling. Sweet dreams.
I love you too. Eeeek.

Long time huffer first time poster.
I first had a whiff by incident years back at my local bar. Instant desire for more. Initially I started out with fresh cakes in private, worried I'd get caught sniffing in public. Well it just didn't hit the same as the first time, so I started aging my own pucks at home. But that can only hold me over for so long, my craving of wild fermented cakes has taken over.
I've started going to the bar more frequently just to get my fix. Problem is I've got to drink beers to hang out there so it's not too suspicious. On top of this I've been stopping by the McDonald's on my way home to get an extra bump before I turn in for the night. But that's also suspicious so I've been getting a burger every time.
Recently I've been putting on a lot of weight even though my sniffing habits have only changed from at home to in the wild. I was curious if anyone knew what effects public cakes can have on weight gain? That's the only thing I can think of causing this.
TLDR: started public whiffing and got fat, how?

Exhausted and just need to vent. I've been having debilitating period pains (vomiting, passing out) since I was 15. I'm now 33. I've had multiple hospital visits and ultrasounds. No diagnosis but I'm pretty sure it's endometrios. I've never been given another explanation for what could cause this much pain every month. I've been told my choices are go on the pill or continue to "manage" with pain medication (prescription codeine which makes me nauseous every month and sometimes isn't even effective). I've been told by a doctor that, unless I am trying to get pregnant and have trouble conceiving after 1 year, they won't do a laparoscopy. My GP and multiple people have told me "it will get better when you have a baby." I do want to have a child one day but I shouldn't need to do that to stop experiencing excruciating pain. Also there is no evidence that childbirth alleviates severe dysmenorrhoea. I'm thinking of just saving up and getting a laparoscopy done privately.
Anyway, I'm just really, really tired of this disabling pain taking 2 days out of my life every month. If anyone has any tips on anything at all that might help with the pain, please share. My diet, exercise, and stress management are all very good. At the moment I need mefanemic acid and codeine combined to get through a period.

I am a chronic pain patient and I have to take my pain killers (paracetamol mixed with codein) or else pain won't get better a lot of the time. I think my head knows that the medication helps because it always did.
The thing that is weird is that the pills take 1-1½ hours normally to ease the pain.
Sometimes (right now for example lol) I notice though that I even though not even 10 minutes passed but I already feel better. Those are not special fast acting pills or something and I don't know why it works that way but it does...my pain is way better but it is not gone (maybe from a 8-9 to 6)
Is this still called a placebo effect? I feel so stupid writing this

Could it be extensive, potentially?
Or perhaps just minor inhibition of metabolism, therefore elevation of expected blood concentration of the co-administered drug would be negligible, or of very little consequence?
What I'm really curious about is, if some completely unexpected, rare, very acute and most specifically LONG TERM side effects came about from using a drug in combination with acetaminophen (or actually solpedeine = acetaminophen, codeine and caffeine), could that be attributable to solpedeine inhibiting the co-administered drugs metabolism?
Perhaps said temporary inhibition of the co-administered drugs metabolism may cause said long-term side effects?
I've asked a couple pharmacists and they generally seem to think solpedeine ingredients used at normal doses are safe when it comes to interactions.
But, whilst some interaction-checkers show a possible MINOR increase in a co-administered drugs serum levels, I haven't found anything to suggest a drastic interaction that could precipitate the aforementioned acute side effects?
Or any explanation as to why they might be so long term in nature? (months after final dose)
Any thoughts?
Combination drugs: tretinoin, Bremelanotide/PT-141
Side effects: mood fluctuation, brain fog, tinnitus exacerbation.
Alternate explanation: a biological intolerance has developed to other chemicals, and acetaminophen or solpedeine has nothing to do with the side effect emergence?

Could it be extensive, potentially?
Or perhaps just minor inhibition of metabolism, therefore elevation of expected blood concentration of the co-administered drug would be negligible, or of very little consequence?
What I'm really curious about is, if some completely unexpected, rare, very acute and most specifically LONG TERM side effects came about from using a drug in combination with acetaminophen (or actually solpedeine = acetaminophen, codeine and caffeine), could that be attributable to solpedeine inhibiting the co-administered drugs metabolism?
Perhaps said temporary inhibition of the co-administered drugs metabolism may cause said long-term side effects?
I've asked a couple pharmacists and they generally seem to think solpedeine ingredients used at normal doses are safe when it comes to interactions.
But, whilst some interaction-checkers show a possible MINOR increase in a co-administered drugs serum levels, I haven't found anything to suggest a drastic interaction that could precipitate the aforementioned acute side effects?
Or any explanation as to why they might be so long term in nature? (months after final dose)
Any thoughts?
Combination drugs: tretinoin, Bremelanotide/PT-141
Side effects: mood fluctuation, brain fog, tinnitus exacerbation.
Alternate explanation: a biological intolerance has developed to other chemicals, and acetaminophen or solpedeine has nothing to do with the side effect emergence?

Packing up a bag to solve one of the jobs that had been on the back burner, the island overrun with zombies was getting resolved. Checking the contents over one more time, the raw pain of losing Croak drove me to this point. The twins’ hopping down the stairs had me grumbling under my breath, both of them bowing to me. What kind of childhood did they have if they felt the need for that type of behavior? This was irritating the shit out of me. Perhaps it was everything else.
“May we come?” Travy inquired with a nervous smile, her sister holding onto her arm. “I want to destroy what my mother built. Forgive a girl for dreaming.” Both of them looked eager, her usual white suit contrasting her sister’s frilly pink number of a dress ironically. Mulling over her reason, the vows would serve to protect me from assassination. Rolling my eyes, I couldn’t believe what I was about to say.
“Fine but I will be keeping a sharp eye on you. No funny business.” I spoke sternly, zipping up my bag. Whispering among themselves, the talking behind my back is not what I signed up for. Clearing my throat, the twins’ straightened up. Saluting me, this stiff behavior was wearing on my nerves even more. Marching up to them, little to no protest met me lowering their hands. Abuse had led them to such behavior, my task of undoing the learned behavior would be a tedious one.
“Please stop doing that. I want you to respect me by calling me Corpsy, ‘kay.” I pleaded with my genuine smile, both of them attempting to bow again. Catching their foreheads, enough was enough. Parting my lips to speak several times, my expression softening further. Pushing them back into the attention position, they needed to let their guard down. What do you say to a couple of traumatized individuals?
“I don’t bite unless I have to.” I promised them with a hearty chuckle, the edge coming off of their expressions. “Let’s go kill some zombies my pals kept contained for me. Splattered brains and skulls will feel like confetti at this point.” Rolling the transportation spell ball in my palm, a drop of my blood was all I needed. Extending my claws, the tips sank into the tender flesh of my palm. Blood coated my palm, the clear ball glowing to life. Clinging to my arms, a blinding light whisked us to an abandoned city. Fussing with my simple black tank top and cargo pants, this environment had me twisting my waves into neat french braids. Decaying skyscrapers towered over us, every building seeming to be a new level. Chewing on her lips, Saly had true fear in her eyes. Sniffing the air, the remains of a curse had me thinking a witch was in charge here. The true question was where was she, ghastly groans rang out from all around us. Rotting corpses at varying points of decay limped out, the smell sickening the three of us. Spinning on my heels, Saly and Travy waited patiently for orders.
“We are going to slice our way to a necromancer and execute her. If I am correct, we might even get some clues relating to your mother’s plans with Stormana. Sounds great?” Shooting me shaky thumbs up, a kick had my dagger into my eager palm. Extending my blade to its full length, the fun was set to begin. Remembering that Roseworth asked me to do this a while back, she would be proud of me. Spinning their blades in their palms, sly grins illuminated their features. Croak’s smile flashed in my mind, an arrow striking my heart. Croak had been my friend in the dark, the silence killing me every time I hopped into the hearse. Swinging away, heads rolled to my feet. Lightning crackled along the cars, Travy pointing to the closest skyscraper. Leaping over the zombies, shadow snakes slithered down my arms. Sending them out to find the necromancer, Saly pushed me into the glass doors. Locking the doors behind us, eyes glowed around us. Ordering them to shut down their lightning, too much power could bring the building down on us. Rubble covering us was the last thing we needed in this mission, the girls flashing me pleading looks.
“We need to get to the rooftop and get off the ground.” I ordered with a tired smile, my team members nodding with eager grins. “Cut your way to the stairs.” Moonlight bathed the lobby, color draining from my face. A thousand corpses surrounded us, the three of us standing back to back. Admiration burned in their eyes, an honest smile curling on our lips. Three stairwells seemed to hide from us, my snakes slithered over the sea of feet to tell me where our target was. Brushing against my arms on the way up, their hisses told me that she was several buildings away. Whipping their heads towards the clearest path, the twins picked up on it. Covering each other, sludgy black painted our faces with every swing. Jumping over the dropping bodies, relief flooded from our lips upon contact with the first step of the stairs. Three zombies lingered on the next landing, their lack of brains preventing them from going down the stairs. Sending Saly ahead, her skirt floated up with every swing. Crashing up the stairs, the grunting noises soon became the background soundtrack with every second closer to the rooftop. Kicking the door open, harsh air nipped at my cheeks. Black ash drifted like snow, the ash reminding me of a Gothic blizzard. Asking my snakes where to go next, their tails pointed towards the skyscraper twenty feet away from me. Backing up to the edge, our feet pounded together across the helicopter pad. Pushing off the edge, a quiet terror dimmed my eyes at the foul stench blowing my braids about. Landing gracefully, the endless sea of zombies on the streets had me shuddering. Leaping from rooftop to rooftop, a couple of hisses had me stopping at the rooftop of an art deco skyscraper. Massaging my forehead, we needed to get in. The usual growls and snarls had us shifting our attention to changed zombies, something seeming off. Cocking my head to the left, horror rounded my eyes at the chains holding them groaning in protest. Nudging my comrades, their terrified eyes met mine. Time for them to let some frustration loose.
“Cut them down before we have an issue.” I whispered loud enough for them to hear and for them to hear alone. Flipping over to the poor souls, lightning bounced off of their blades. Watching them work like a well oiled machine, the image of Croak’s smile in the early morning light had tears welling up in my eyes. A chill ran up my spine, the energy shifting. Glancing up, storm clouds rumbled to life, heavy rain washing the blood and guts off of us. The door into the building clicked open, caution giving me honest hesitation. Urging me to move ahead, it was almost as if I could hear Croak. Hollow footfalls thumped up the stairs, the color drained from my cheeks at a rotting Croak reaching out for me. Opening her mouth, maggots splattered onto the concrete of the rooftop. Stumbling back, the twins caught me before I fell off the roof.
“What’s the matter, love?” She inquired in a gritty tone, her sweet smile sickening me. “Don’t you want to hug me? You did get me killed after all.” Inky splotches dotted my trembling hand, the rain darkening to demon blood. Violent sobs mixed with shortened breaths, my heart seconds from beating out of its chest. Struggling to find any air, her hollow footfalls thumped closer to me. Pausing in front of me, her hands cupped my face. Raising her foot slowly, she kicked us off the roof. Zooming towards the sea of hungry zombies, a numbness came over my face. My comrades begged for me to snap out of it, Croak shifting into a woman with a golden silky bob. Violet eyes twinkled with malice, her spike covered leather dress matching flawlessly to her combat boots. A silver staff glittered in her palm, the skull resting on a carved bone handle. Snapping awake at her chanting, a pool on the roof of one of the other buildings caught my eyes. Building shadow energy at the tip of my blade, a flick of wrist smashed the skyscraper into smithereens. Using the energy to send me back up closer to her, the twins grinned ear to ear at the water flooding the streets. A jolting experience was scheduled for her friends.
“Get the necromancer. We have a shocking gift to jolt those souls awake.” Travy giggled maniacally, her sister joining in with giggles. Smashing more skyscrapers around us, the water flowed like a wild river. Kicking me closer, my trembling fingers snagged on the edge. Lightning lit up the stormy sky, Saly and Tavy winking as they slammed the tip of their blades into a metal skyscraper’s roof. Showing me their rubber boots, pride glistened in their eyes. Pulling myself up with a gruff grunt, a snarl met my broken but defiant smile. Shaking off my fraying nerves, the base of my anxiety remained. Spinning my blade in my palm, the necromancer tapped her staff on the rooftop. A straight blade the size of mine cut my cheek with its expansion, haughty laughter tumbling off her slick tongue. Bad guys needed to calm down with the cockiness, my eyes rolling at her next outburst of frustration.
“Why must you be so insistent!” She growled through gritted teeth, my fingers playing numbly with the cut on my cheek. “Wake up and fight me.” Her chest puffed up and down, frustration darkening her eyes. Rolling my eyes, someone thought highly of themselves. Snapping my head in her direction, an iciness came over me. No one called me out without having their flaws being pointed out as well.
“Fuck you for that trick. Clearly you don’t have a conscience. How many people had to suffer for you to play your stupid game?” I snarled bitterly, a shadow growing behind me. “We let you play for a little too long. Time for you to die.” Charging at each other, sparks danced in the air with every violent clash. Everything doubled, her head cocking to the left creepily. Smashing her fist into my stomach, a splash of blood exploded from my mouth. Sinking to my knees, several organs had burst. Struggling to my feet, she wasn’t going to win. No! This nuisance wasn't going to survive my retaliation.
“Give up already. Your boss left me unchecked for way too long.” She bragged with a Cheshire Cat grin, my hand holding my stomach. Wheezing through the raw agony, my blade trembled uncontrollably. Leaning onto my blade, her hit had some spice to it. Screw her for breaking my insides!
“Never. I would lay down my life the world. Not to be a bitch but you are pissing me off.” I wheezed between words, more blood pouring from the corner of my mouth. “Don’t act all high and mighty with that fucking bullshit that you believe. The dead should stay dead.” Shivering as I raised my blade, my blood painted her face. Slapping my cheek to get myself to focus, shadow snakes hissed to life around me. Swinging her blade towards my head, sparks danced in the air with the violent clash. Pushing her back, the puddle of blood splashed around my feet as I crashed into her building. Sliding down the railing, my feet touched a plush carpet. Spicy wit would have to be my friend, Croak’s real energy raising the hair on the back of my neck. Opening the door, her translucent form sat on the bed. Locking the door behind me, the building rattled. Burying her spirit into a hug, my tears cascaded down her form. Releasing her, her cold thumbs wiped away my tears. Wishing that I didn't have to leave her, too many words bounced around the tip of my tongue.
“Why are you here and not in Heaven?” I asked feverishly, holding her hands like my life depended on it. “Please tell me that you didn’t come here to draw me here.” Averting her gaze to the golden wall, the door began to rattle violently. Cupping my face, the words couldn’t come to her lips. Shaking like a leaf, this couldn’t be real. Speak! Speak, damn it! What I wouldn't do to hear her voice one more time.
“I was stolen from Heaven to this bloody place. Can you free me one last time? There is a deal I made and it has not been fulfilled yet.” She wept dejectedly, my heart breaking for her. “You look like you are doing alright, love.” Uncontrollable sobs wracked my body at how she spoke the word love, the door bursting open. Rising to my feet with a true defiant grin on a determined face, her reign of terror was over. Spinning my blade over my head, the twins paused in the doorway.
“I burn everything you created for what you have done!” I wheezed once more with tears hitting the carpet, hating her for everything she stole from everyone. “You stole someone important from me. Croak was like a fucking goddamn sister to me and you denied her happiness. Fuck you! Get to safety, you fucking idiots!” Running towards the window, lightning lit up the room as they ran down the building. Hoping that survived this, something told me that I might not make it.
“What are you planning to do?” She questioned icily, Croak standing up behind me. “She was easy to capture on the way up. Maybe I wanted to get the bounty on your head by the dark gods. Who wouldn’t want immortality?” Was that really the prize over my head?
“At least it's a steep bounty.” I retorted sarcastically, the corner of lip twitching into a half-smirk. “You wouldn’t be the first person who wants my head on a wall. Too bad I don’t fucking care. Time to bring the big guns.” Shadowy snakes held her in place, her blade rolling over to my feet. My patience had worn thin, my hands picking up her staff. Snapping it in half, it melted into a puddle of boiling hot silver. Panic rounded her eyes, her sinister grin fading for but a second.
“I don’t usually break out my fire powers because the damage is immense.” I growled through gritted teeth, black flames crackling to life as I marched towards her. “Look at you getting the special treatment. Shrinking my blade down to dagger form, black flames devoured my hand. Slamming it into her chest, my fingers curled around her heart. Extending my claws into the tissue, her fingernails scratched at my arm. Shrill shrieks pierced my ears, flames cooking her from the inside. Burning to a pile of blackened ash, Croak covered her mouth. Collapsing to the floor, my muscles had chosen to give out at the worst possible moment. Cursing under my breath, the building groaned in protest. Every attempt to move had me crying into the carpet, Croak begging for me to get up. Shaking my head, every muscle refused to comply with my desire to rise to my feet.
“I can’t.” I snapped into the carpet, my own blood pooling around me. “I used up all of my juice. Be a pal and stay by my side. You know, for old times’ sake.” Coughing up more blood, my claws dug into the floor. Images of Miles running around with my girls had me smiling to myself. Must life always flash before one's eyes. Croak plopped down next to me, her hand taking mine. Tavy and Saly skidded in, Tavy tossing me over her shoulder. Hating for a second that I was going to survive, my hand reached for Croak. Holding on for a second, her warmth felt like her embrace.
“I am not letting you die today, boss.” She chirped cheerfully, tucking my dagger into its case. “Sal, cover our asses.” Sprinting down the halls, Croak waving as she rounded the corner. Watching her spirit float into the sky, silent tears cascaded from my eyes. Letting them rip me from one of the only friends I had ever had, time slowed as they leapt into the crashing waves. Keeping me above the waves, black flames devoured every building. Debris whistled over my head, the lost souls floating into the sky. A wave of exhaustion crashed over me, a rough darkness stealing me away.
Groaning awake on a sandy beach, my wounds had been repaired. The empty vials shimmered next to me, a migraine throbbing to life. Tavy was cursing tersely over a fire that wouldn’t start while Saly struggled with a makeshift fishing pole. A fit of laughter exploded from my lips, a wry smile lingering on my lips. Fishing around my pockets while they rushed over to fret over me, their mother taught them nothing about survival. Sitting up with another groan, the pile of rubble had me tearing up for the millionth time. Stop crying was all I could yell at myself. Plucking my phone from my pocket, the waterproof case had it working. Dialing Morte’s number, he would get the coordinates and come get us. Getting the answering machine, a low growl rumbled in my throat. Rising to my feet, the trees blurred. Running up to me, my palms caught their foreheads before they could bow.
“Treat me like a friend, not a tyrant.” I spoke warmly, the girls straightening up. “Let’s go home. There might be a town not far from her. Dusting off my outfit, I buttoned up the leather jacket to hide the bloody tank top. Undoing my braids, perfect waves floated around my shoulders. Flaking the dried blood off of my face as we hiked, a small town with a single gas station came into view. Spinning on my heels, they shot me a thumbs up. Walking casually into the gas station, colorful snacks lined the shelves. Grabbing a ginger ale on the way to the counter, Tavy slid a couple of candy bars onto the gaudy counter covered in different lighters. Of course, they were hungry. How could I forget?
“Excuse me sir but you know where we are? Our car ran off the road and my cell phone broke in the accident.” I choked out with fresh tears in my eyes, the twins matching my energy. “I need to call a tow truck and I need to know what town we are in.” Sliding over his phone, he gave some a common town name in the United States. Leaving us in privacy, he wouldn’t accept our money. Pretending to dial a number, I hung up and left a wet twenty on the table. Cracking open my soda on the way out, the cool liquid felt nice going down my throat. Turning to face them, a plan had to be formed. Please don't be a daft one.
“You can’t transport or anything?” One of them asked cautiously, my eyebrow twitching at the question. Transportation was out of the question right now with my lack of powers, neither of them needing to know that. Walking into a small park, the early afternoon sun painted the water a nice purple. Dialing my phone again, Morte didn’t pick up. What the hell was he doing? Dialing Wut, he didn’t pick up. Why wasn't anyone picking up!
“Pick up the damn phone, you idiots!” I shouted out of the blue, the others jumping ten feet into the air. “Sorry, my bed is calling me.” Yawning groggily, every muscle in my body ached fiercely. Typing in ways to get home, a bus station wasn’t too far from here. Checking my wallet, I had enough for three tickets home. Marching over to the bus station, the elderly clerk looked me up and down before accepting my money. Sliding over our tickets, the strangers shot us odd looks as we sank into the seats in the back. Trees turned into buildings and back into trees, the four hour bus ride giving me plenty of time to fume. Parking on the edge of the town of my business, another hour passed before I kicked open the door. Everyone looked up, Morte’s damn phone was in a bag of rice. How the hell did that freaking happen?
“Who the hell didn’t pick us up!” I roared thunderously, Morte putting his hands in the air. “I have been calling and calling! I needed someone to talk to. Fuck all of you!” Stomping upstairs to get changed, a new dress waited for me with Roseworth sitting on the bed in one of her usual onyx lace dresses. Folding my arms across my chest, it was her fault I didn’t have a return spell. Who sends someone on a mission without a way back!
“I solved your fucking problem!” I spat viciously, fighting another wave of tears. “Death almost claimed me again. I understand that it needed to be done but I have one damn question! Did you know that Croak was there? Is that why you sent me? That was a freaking joke and cruel at best. I loved her like a sister.” Covering my mouth, tears dripped off of my hands. It hurt to say that out loud, a bit of shame dimming my eyes for a second. No, an explanation was deserved.
“As long as I have lived I have never ever been put through so much mental pain! If you want to continue to be in my life, then secrets don’t exist! Am I understood?” I continued hotly, the guilt in her eyes softening my expression. “Sorry for yelling. I have had a rough day. What’s with the dress anyway?” Bowing her head while collecting herself, a bright smile met my busted expression. Shit, did I go too far again?
“We were going to surprise you for your birthday and our phones all got dropped in water. That is why we didn’t pick up.” She admitted with wet eyes, the guilt creeping in from my outburst. “I did know but I thought you could see her one last time. Sorry for trying to help a grieving sister. I don’t have much either now. All I have is my nieces and you.” Plopping down next to her, my arms buried her into a bear hug. Apologizing profusely, her emotions soaked my shirt. Holding her until the tears dried up, my hand cupped her cheek. The good intentions canceled any rage.
“Thank you so much.” I mumbled with another sad smile, rising from the bed to get changed into the lovely emerald dress. “I love you like a sister as well.” Snatching the dress off of the bed, the reflection in the mirror had me shrinking back. A zombie would have looked better, the door creaking open as I cleaned up a bit. Morte poked his head in, my eyes refusing to meet his. Hating that I lost on him, he must despise me.
“I would have gotten you if my phone was working. I am sorry.” He apologized sincerely, helping me take off my filthy clothes. Sure, everyone really seemed sorry. Maybe I was sick of hearing the word. Helping me get my dress on, the zipper went right up. Tracing the black lace covering the fifties style dress, Morte spun me around to face him. Lifting up my chin, his crooked grin made my day a bit better. Kissing my lips tenderly, my face was still puffy as hell. Lost between a state of panic and euphoria, the combination had a sickening effect.
“You have never looked more beautiful.” He sang with his natural smile, my heart fluttering. “The kids wanted to throw you a surprise party so act surprised.” Uttering a single yes, he offered me his elbow. Sliding on my boots on the way out, we paused in front of the living room door. Opening up the door, everyone shouted surprise. Donning my genuine smile, the girls and Miles smashed into my legs. Thanking them with a flurry of feverish kisses, their smiles couldn’t be any bigger. A bit of life returned to my eyes, my kids giving the flames of hope another boost.

Memory transcription subject: First Officer Recel
Date: [REDACTED]
I shuffled along the hallways of the governance hall, clutching my pad tightly to remain focused. Following the news of the Krakotl fleet being defeated, I had been invited to an emergency federation assembly on Aafa to plan and present a military response to the unprecedented crisis. Well, technically Captain Sovlin had been invited, but he was busy marshaling his forces at the Cradle, and had therefore chosen me to go in his stead.
The weight upon me was enormous. If my presentation didn’t sway the assembly, the consequences would be… too awful to imagine. I doubled my pace, and shouldered open the door to the auditorium. I was immediately met with a chorus of noise, discussions well underway before my arrival.
“This is unacceptable!” shrieked Jerulim, the Krakotl ambassador. “We have bled for this federation since it was first founded, and now, in the face of the most severe predator crisis since the emergence of the Arxur you betray us?!!”
“No-one is betraying anyone.” replied the Gojid representative, calmer, yet still raising his voice to be heard over the clamor. “But I think I speak for the rest of the council when I say that considering the decimation of the Krakotl fleet, and Captain Kalsim’s… condition, it would be best if the Gojidi Union navy, under the command of Captain Sovlin, take control of military affairs for the time being.”
Jerulim was clearly about to interject, but Chief Nikonius beat him to it as he spotted me. “Speaking of, I believe that is his representative coming now. First Officer Recel correct?”
I swallowed, trying to suppress my anxiety. “Y-yes, indeed. I am here to present a- er, that is, Captain Sovlin’s plan for the counterattack.”
I tapped away on my pad, uploading my files to the auditorium’s projector while Jerulim retreated to his perch, muttering to himself. After a few seconds, the projector whirred to life and began to display a series of strategic plans overlaid onto maps of the Skaven home system, charted by the survivors of the Krakotl fleet.
“I won’t bore the assembly with the… tactical minutiae, but I will stress one critical aspect of the battle plan, which can be summed up in two words: Overwhelming Force.”
Intrigued, the council listened in silence as I continued with my pre-rehearsed speech. “As you well know, the Skaven are in possession of some form of reality distortion weapon which decimated the Krakotl fleet. However, sensor readings and eyewitness accounts indicate this calamity only affected a limited area of space, namely the concentrated fleet formation. Captain Sovlin intends to deploy the counterattack in a much wider formation to avoid the worst effects of the weapon.”
I took a deep breath before delivering the most crucial detail. “However, this strategy isn’t without cost. To ensure that the dispersed vessels aren’t picked off by the Skaven fleet one by one, the strike force needs a significant number of ships. The Captain’s proposal is for every federation species to lend half of their fleet for the operation-”
I was immediately interrupted by numerous exclamations of shock, outrage, and shock and outrage at the shock and outrage. I tried my best to continue, but even yelling I wasn’t sure if I could be heard. “-leaving the other half to protect their territories from any Arxur incursions.”
Jerulim’s voice cut through the racket, in that at least he was quite skilled. “TREASON! OUR FLEET IS TOO INJURED TO HALT OFF A SCOUT PARTY, LET ALONE A FULL INCURSION AT HALF STRENGTH! DOES SOVLIN SEEK TO ELIMINATE US AS RIVALS LICKSPITTLE!?”
“What of us?” shouted a Zurulian. “Our fleet is mainly medical frigates! This is an extermination effort, not a mercy mission!”
“Our homeworld has been scouted by the Greys mere days ago!” Bellowed a Mazic. “Showing weakness now would doom us!”
“SILENCE!” Chief Nikonius’ voice rang out, and silence there was. After a deep sigh, and a deep breath, he spoke. “While such a force is unprecedented, so is the threat we now face. Besides, the symbolic value of a fleet composed of ships from every member species is great indeed. Especially considering it will ensure that no-one can say the Krakotl didn’t do their part in this, right?”
Jerulim, who had looked about ready to interject again, leaned back, seemingly placated.
The meeting continued for several hours, as multiple discussions were held, several bargains struck and numerous concessions given, but eventually, the motion to assemble the fleet passed.
My relief was quickly replaced with apprehension as I left the governance hall and journeyed to the meeting point, deep within the warehouse district. I followed the markers I had been shown and found the keypad, entering the code I had been told: 1313. The door creaked open and I stepped into the gloomy room. I investigated the empty space, seeing by the light from the door behind me, until it suddenly slammed shut, leaving me in darkness. Suddenly, I heard them. Skittering. Sniffing. Circling around me.
“I did as you asked!” I yelled into the blackness. “Let Aucel go!”
“We-we will…” I heard from behind me. I spun around, but naturally, saw nothing. When the voice spoke again, it was coming from somewhere else. “Sneak-killing either of you so soon would draw-grasp too much attention.”
My heartbeat grew increasingly swift, hoping it was telling the truth. My mind, however, wanted answers. “I just don’t understand… the interspecies fleet… it’s not a bad plan… you’ll be decimated! Why would you of all things make me convince the federation to assemble a force strong enough to defeat you several times over?”
Mocking laughter echoed all around me. The voices were more numerous than I had expected. “That is for us to know, and for you-you… to never remember!”
Suddenly, they were upon me, paws grasping at my limbs. I lashed out and felt myself strike one of them, but two more pairs of hands quickly took its place and I was firmly restrained. They began to drag me as the lights came on, and I saw our destination; a ramshackle chair, with a strange helmet installed above…
First - Previous - Finale

Hello folks!
I am 23 y/o, female, about 102-108lbs (will based off my week), and 5'2.5 in height.
I started on Vyvanse in January of this year on 20mg, then about 2 weeks it stopped working. I got the initial jitte anxiety everybody talks about but then it died down quick. It was horrible but I'm glad I waited it out because the clarity I got was unmatched!
I asked for 30mg soon after, because I would go back to dozing off and being disorganized. Actually, I had such a crappy year and without Vyvanse I would not have survived or gotten so much done. Even so, I still struggled to get everything done because it was humanly impossible.
Later, the 30mg stopped working also about 2 weeks in, during an important exam too! I had to sit and accept I was going to get a bad grade and spent the time listening to the guy sniffing constantly 'cause his nose was runny. Completely destroyed my focus, but wouldn't have if my meds worked.
So then it turned into 40mg which I've been on the longest because its worked the longest. It started to be less effective on some days, but still helped my mind be quite and kept my anxiety and impulsivity in control all day long. I learned periods, sugar, and not enough protein makes it not work. Also accidentally discovered zinc helps me gain that clarity from Vyvanse like it did early on. I was not sleeping or eating well, but I have been very diligent to fix it.
Now, even when I am doing all the right things that I spent months tracking to see what works and what doesn't, today it worked for a little as I was literally having my breakfast, but then it stopped. I got terrible 'adhd anxiety' which is how the impulsivity from adhd manifests in my body. Right in the middle of my chest. I felt absolutely awful. I am not on my period or even near my period as well. Why is this happening? Why is it not consistent?
I asked my doc if she thinks 50mg is a good idea about 2 weeks ago so I can have this consistency and I just want to test it out, she said she doesn't feel comfortable. I agreed with her considering 40mg sounds like a lot for a person with my size.
I need it to work not just so I can get work done, but to control my anxiety. I went back to having no self esteem and not being able to talk to people. Vyvanse helps with all of this, but especially staying calm and being able to focus. I have had about 30% of motivation recently, and that's on my best days. Is it the wrong medication even if it's worked before? Or just not the right dose? She suggested Fouquet, but I'm not sure I like the 16 hours effect and people say it doesn't give them energy which I absolutely need! I used to rely heavily on caffeine for energy, but when I am on vyvanse and when it's working I naturally just don't drink it.
I also eat better and healthier. But when it doesn't I really struggle. I know it's a long post but I'm trying to not miss anything and I really need help. I am terrified of this continuing because I don't want to have to go through University like this when I experienced what it's like doing things so effortlessly with medication when they're effective.
Thank you!

Hi all! So a while ago I realized our girl doesn't really like peanut butter (or at least not the PB powder one we got, it's hard to find any without palm oil, my god). She usually sniffs and licks any new food she's curious about but she straight up sniffed it, barked at me, and then continued to throw a tantrum when I started eating it, bc god forbid I enjoy a snack she doesn't like ig 😂
Anyway, I know a lot of people use peanut butter as a longer lasting treat in kongs or just to generally keep their pup busy for a while. Are there any other similar treats I can give her that are cost effective and can keep her busy for a while? Idk if it's a texture thing (she's weird about that) or if she doesn't like peanut butter at all, idk. But recommendations welcome! She's a heavy chewer and we already have some fruits and veggies frozen for her but those either go fast (god she's a fiend for frozen blueberries) or she gets tired of them (the frozen carrots she only really likes when she needs to soothe her gums/teeth now).
For reference, I've also made some "concoctions" for her before after getting a new blender, namely some stuff with frozen carrots, cheese, and blueberries, occasionally chicken, and then freezing it all up in a kong. She loveeesss licking that up, but "smoothies" like that can leave quite a mess as they melt.

TL:DR Sick kitty, thinking I have to reintroduce to family after he's healed.
My little bean, Vanta (4yo neutered male), just came home from a two-day stay at the vet. He seems terrified. He was there for observation from not eating, which started Sunday night.
Monday: Vet found a 105 temp, dehydration, low white blood cell count and high neutrophils. He was given fever meds (Onsior), amoxicillin, and a shot of antinausea meds. In the afternoon I was able to coax a few bites of kibble. Monday evening he sniffed but didn't eat.
Tuesday: He's miserable. Avoiding his bed. Drooling like crazy anytime I get anything near his mouth, even water. Was able to get Onsior & amoxicillin in him despite a fight. Called vet for appetite stimulant. Stimulant had no effect.
Wednesday: Brought in for observation. Performed barium study; no blockage. Given broader-spectrum antibiotic, IV fluids, antinausea. Kicked over his litterbox and still won't eat.
Thursday (today): Kept all day there for more IV fluids & a force-feeding, which stayed down. Doc suspects he may be angry over being at the vet and is hoping he'll eat once he's home. They advise not feeding until tomorrow Well, he's home. He's shaky on his feet. He's slowly circling the room he's in and twitching at every sound.
This is not the cat that's lived with me for the last two years. It's like he's afraid of everything, even the things he loves (his kitty cave, his fuzzy bed, etc). I adopted him at two years old. His history indicated a hoarding situation, but that's all I know. I'm thinking that I may have to leave him in peace as he recuperates, except to give him his medications. This is killing me because I just want to be in there to comfort him. I want to help him get well, and I suspect I may have to give him space and reintroduce him to the household once he's healed. I love this stubborn little guy with all my heart.