Can you beat monster hunter world's iceborne expansion without hitting monsters? lets find out
It's me! im back! the challenge run man with such an extensive and longstanding history of doing monster hunter challenge runs (please suggest more for me to do i beg of you) returning with the sequal to my entire challenge run catalog.
This is the iceborne video and will be continuing directly where the base game video left off, so go watch that and come back if you want the full context
as a refresher, the rules for this challenge run are as such:
the victory condition is to beat shara ishvalda.
our rules for the run include: no damaging the monster with my weapon
no clutch claw
no bombs
no co-op or mods
there is one more rule that puts an asterisk on the previous rules however. This run is about utilizing as much of the environmental traps and oft forgotten mechanics and items as possible, and as such if a environmental trap requires me to break a rule, I am allowed to do so in order to trigger that trap using the minimum necessary force
this applies to exactly 3 things across this run: If I'm near a grymalkyn ivy trap that requires I mount a monster to trigger it, I'm allowed to jump attack for the mount, but not allowed to stab with the knife or do any mounting finisher. I can only ride the monster around. I'm allowed exactly 2 flinch shots in phase 1 of shara ishvalda in order to utilize the falling boulders that require it, and in phase 2 of shara I'm allowed to trigger the falling boulders in that phase using (jiggle but) bounce bombs so long as i dont hit shara with them
with all that out of the way, Mantra Man and Chad McMillis dust off their boots and get ready to enter a whole new challenge
our first opponent is beotodus, the snowy fish boy. one of the coolest things about the hoarfrost reach for this kind of run is that there is SO MUCH in the environment for you to use against the monster. the sheer amount of environmental traps available to use is even greater than that of the elders reccess, and we'll get to that. However, you would never guess this from the beotodus fight. even the landslide is not available to us yet as currently the underground portion of the map is off limits. In the base game, great jagras was legitimately one of the hardest fights in the run amd a huge wall we needed to clear at that early point in the game where we didn't have our tools.
this is not the case with beo however, and this first hunt is more devoid of interesting content than dharman videos. Beotodus cheats on its husband, what happens next will shock you: I spammed torch pods and meowcanos, and it died. (subscribe). One noteworthy thing for beo is that you can knock the snow off his body using water pods, which enables my cat to do more damage per hit, but that's pretty much it. we absolutely will have to attain new gear and strategies to make it through this DLC, but one thing that is for god damn sure is that we don't need to do it for beotodus. Although the lack of a tail raider ally was very noticible and the increased HP pool were definitely felt.
with beo gone we get access to the master rank smithy. The first thing I did was craft the rose basket for my kitty cat using the festival tickets. this weapon is head and shoulders above every other possible weapon I can make at this point and would become my standard go to weapon all the way until the very end of the game, it's just that good. Kill them with kindness has never been so literal, just look at those weapon stats. and speaking of weapon stats, lets talk about a mistake I made in understanding palico stats back in base world.
nobody gives a shit about how numbers work like you do just move o-
shut the fuck up post production bison gaming I can do whatever the fuck I want, just look at the numbers they're so cool!!
OK so I had mentioned in the great jagras fight in the base world video that with the base weapon having an attack stat of 2, I had no idea whether or not increasing by 15% damage using the attack up hunting horn song actually did anything with numbers that small. However this isn't actually how palicos work. Unlike us, the players, who are entirely dependent on our gear to provide any stats, palicos do actually have a base damage stat. most players have gone blind do it, but your cat gains XP with every hunt you complete just like you do with hunter rank. however, your cat leveling up doesn't just raise its HP, it also raises it's attack. it turns out that palicos have a base damage that is simply ADDED TO by equiping them with a weapon. so even though the weapon only had a damage stat of 2, its quite possible the palico had a base stat of 10 or 20 which became 12 or 22 by adding the weapon to it. as such the attack up melody was doing A LOT MORE than i realized back at the beggining of world. it's also why the meowcano and cocktail, which scale based off range attack, don't actually change much in damage output even when doubling the ranged attack stat of your weapon, because the weapon you have equiped is only a portion of your cats damage stat. real interesting stuff
the priority for my gear is to just get the higher defense allotted by having master rank gear over high rank. I still need to prioritize having all 5 points in palico rally however so hunting those monsters is our next step. I did make this fun veil that gives me 3 points in wide range, allowing me to heal him at will, lowering my cats and any tailraider's downtime and making them functionally immoral as long as I'm paying attention... something I am very very good at doing. This skill I got better at the further I went into the expansion and it became more and more central to my loadout
In high and low rank, the monsters that gave me palico rally were great jagras and great girros, so I hunt one of each of those to look at their armor sets and... oh... they don't have any... So fun fact, palico rally is a stupidly hard still to come by in master rank, and that means that until I upgrade my rally charm to level 5, I'm required to keep 1 piece of high rank gear, the great girros vambraces, in order to maintain my level 5 in the skill.
a more subtle difference I began to feel more as I went after banbaro is the steadily increasing involvement of my player character. It's not enough to fully rely on just my palico for damage anymore, and I need to contribute through more frequent slinger usage by this point in the game. the hunt times are also getting longer and longer and that makes me somewhat scared considering just how early in the DLC I am by this point.
starting with banbaro I'm finally allowed to use the landslide! it doesn't do as much damage as other traps, but its a hell of a lot more than zero, and it just looks fucking cool as shit. also, the landslide moves monsters to a zone with 2 falling boulders, so this is actually a VERY lucrative zone
with banbaro capped, more of seliana opens up and I get access to the steamworks. Since I didn't spend much time in high rank and am short on decoration variety, the steamworks is invaluble as a source of decorations to fill in some of the things I'm missing. Fingers crossed especially in the hopes I might land a palico rally gem. okay these look pretty good so far, though some are useless like this expert jewel and... what?
excuse me? what is this? what the fuck is this? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!?!?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? i HAVE PLAYED THIS GAME FOR THOUSANDS OF HOURS AND NEVER GOTTEN AN ATTACK UP JEWEL OUTSIDE THE 2 THAT ARE GARUNTEED, AND AFTER ALL THIS TIME i GET IT ON MY THROWAWAY CHALLENGE RUN CHARACTER WHO ISN'T ALLOWED TO USE A FUCKING WEAPON?!?!?! WHYYYYYYY???????
I um... feel I may have gotten a little passionate there... don't worry, I'm fine. It's something I can solve by crying myself to sleep tonight.
okay... deep breaths. in... out... in.., WHAT THE FU-
anyways, it's now time to finally get a new piece of gear to add to our repatoir that changes our gameplay significantly. I took a break from master rank here to quickly complete the red and blue crew to unlock the challenger mantle. This mantle allows you to lure monsters to different areas, and many times you can get them to go to areas they would never go to on their own. this is useful for fighting near traps or forcing turf wars and adds a lot of damage. in all honesty, after using this mantle throughout the run, I am kicking myself for having never used it before, as it is SO GOOD, as you'll soon see. However, it is not morgan freeman. it is not all powerful. monster's have certain areas they are not allowed to go to whatsoever and can only be lured so far. for example, I would not be able to lure beo all the way to the shrieking legiana nest. he just wasn't built for that mechanically, so the game steps in to say no. still, this mantle would prove invaluble for what it CAN do, and I'm going to give this mantle more attention from my other profiles from now on
viper tobi kadachi was fairly easy, but is noteworthy as the first hunt I used poisonlanterns for. whats a poisonlantern? its the azure rathalos of poisoncups. a reskin thats slightly more airborne. tobi is down for the count, and with him gone I can FINALLY engage with the boaboa quest and earn myself a new slave army.
doing this involves hunting a monster in an expedition while the boaboa gather and watch. this is to establish myself as the dom in the relationship and show that I am capable of inflictng slow painful death to whoever defies me via torch pods and meowcanos. Once I'm done swinging my giant hunter cock in front of them and they accept me as their general, I further establish their dependence on me by flying to their camp and taking command of a large scale opperation to hunt a tempered beotodus with the entire boaboa military. This is genuinely one of my favorite quests in this game and one you only ever get to experience once per character, so I highly recomend doing it. It involves scaring a popo away from its heard to use as live bait and ambushing the beo lured by the free snack. in addition, throughout the hunt, the beo army will pin the monster down and use volley tactics against the beo. and as someone who is ALSO just letting all my cat do the work, I really got to sit back and enjoy being a tactical commander for a bunch of troops. genuinely a quest to remember.
this unlocks me a friend to fight with on the hoarfrost reach, and a fantastic new palico tool: the smoke signal. doing this will send me a tailraider and tamed animal ally to my position on any map. this allows us to save a LOT of time as many of the grimalkyn camps are well out of the way and require significant time investments to recruit, especialy the troupers and boaboa. not the case anymore however. I can only use it once per hunt, but as long as I continually heal them with wide range there will be no issues!!
with this we can finaly continue with the main story. up next is... oh... these two...
we were going to hit it eventually, but welcome to the first wall of iceborne. base world had 4 walls to overcome throughout my run, great jagras, radobaan, nergi, and xeno jivia. likewise, there are 4 walls in iceborne, and the first 2 are this particular pair of coral pukei pukei and nightshade paolumu. these 2 monsters give me nightmares. it gives me conniptions. These 2 monsters almost made me quit the run. If this challenge run were in dark souls I almost would have turned hollow, and NOBODY wants to look like that. (disgusted shivering)
both of these monsters mark a notable jump in hp pools, and from this point on, every new monster will have more HP than xeno-jivia. in addition, they have a few extra problems with them. coral pukei pukei is the tankier of the 2, and is also fought at the coral highlands. the highlands have a major issue ascociated with them, being that they have NOTHING in the way of environmental traps that do damage. sure you can get a stagger on the blue cusion things, bit that doesn't do damage, and as I can't hit monsters its functionally unavailable to me anyways. the ONLY damaging environmental traps are these 2 poisoncups which are way far away from any area coral pukei visits and is generally unfeasible to get him towards. however, with the raised HP, using slinger ammo tailraiders and meowcanos simply won't cut it. additionally, coral pukei was proving to be problematic damage-wise as well, as being stuck with high rank armor on my arms was finally coming to bite me in the ass, and this monster was more than capable of tripple carting me if I wasn't careful.
nightshade paolumu was less deadly to me directly, but the sleep gas made getting my cats to deal damage a huge pain in the ass and much of my time was spend shooting my cats to wake them up instead of the monster. using the challenger mantle I was able to repetedly lure him to these poison cups in the forest zone, but still found myself timing out without even getting a red pod to drop from either of these 2 monsters, and i was poisoning nightshade like 6 times a hunt. If i were going to beat these, upgrades needed to be made and new strategies tested.
The first thing I did was solve my armor issue by completing the boaboa kill quest and farming a pure crystal to finally cap my rally charm at level 5, negating the need for high rank great girros armor or any rally decorations in the future. I also played around with placing a snowman on top of the meowcano, a bug which allows the meowcano to do vastly more damage. it's normally done using a snowman and 2 bombs, but since we can't use the bombs, snowman it is. this, as it turns out, did not work too well. coral pukei is a small target with very wide coverage when shooting liquids (obligatory coral pukei dick joke) and the snowman would often be destroyed the instant I placed it down, I rarely got any significant or noteworthy extra damage out of doing this. same story with nightshade really. I am also purposely limiting my max benefit from this bug so as to not break the game even if I do get good damage out of it. the bonus damage is higher the higher your framerate is, and although my PC could play this game at pretty much whatever framerate i could dream of, I opted to keep it locked to 60 for the purpose of making it a moderate and useful, but tricky damage boost.
ultimately, the experiment failed however and snowmen would be scrapped until FAAARRR later into this run. after, I kid you not, 2 weeks, I finally decided to resort to poison smoke bombs again like I did xeno jivia. I have known this entire time that at some point poison smoke bombs would be a requirement in order to progress, but I wanted to hold off on it for as long as humanly possible to see just how car I could take the game with cats and environment alone. to be honest, I hit the barrier far sooner than I anticipated, I thought barioth would be the monster to force my hand and make me use smokes. but I've already failed nightshades quest multiple times despite having poisoned him around 6 times a hunt, so what could smoke bombs really add? well, the answer is that we also need to bring back the 3 piece pink rathian high rank armor set bonus we used for xeno. 3 piece high rank pink rathian has a set bonus that doubles the duration and therefore total damage output of poison. the catch obviously being that now instead of having only 1 piece of high rank gear i had 3, meaning I was going to take A LOT of damage, even after fully upgrading all 3 pieces with armor spheres. by this point I was much more confident and comfortable avoiding their attacks however, so I figured I could probably get away with it
with all this comes a requirement of having lots of smoke bomb supplies however. I can only carry 5 smoke bombs and 10 of each of the supplies, 15 smokes total, at maximum capacity, and we would need A LOT more than 15 on every hunt. in other words, farming needed to be done, both for poison smokes and farcasters. now let me introduce you to the main skill I used throughout this run to help with said farm: pro transporter. little used and oft forgotten, pro transporter is a severely underrated skill that allows you to move faster while carrying heavy items like cannonballs or eggs. how much faster? well... *dejavu* this skill is fucking incredible. you straight up might as well not be carrying anything for how fast you run with this skill equiped. you run fast enough you can complete the entire ancient forest wyvern egg delivery quest with both eggs with a single use of your ghillie mantle. this is relevent, because to buy some time for my farm to merit me enough smokes to attempt these monsters, I figured I might as well run through all the ingredient delivery quests, and the herbavore eggs on the wildspire waste would end up being a regularly done quest of mine, as it is the single fastest quest I can complete with my challenge run rules. expeditions require you to be on the map a certain amount of time before it counts towards your farm, but completing a quest always gives progress, and with the pro transporter skill, not only can I completely outrun the apceros, but I can complete the quest consistently under 3 minutes. I'm just saying, by the end of my playthrough, the egg stockpiles of the meowsculer chef probably looked a lot like the nuclear waste barrels in the winden caves.
The only thing is that you can't get a jem or charm for this skill, and it only comes from kulu ya ku, something I did not kill in either master or high rank, meaning that when I'm farming, I'm using unupgraded low rank kulu ya ku armor and no this will not come up later
*sometimes, forshadowing is relatively obvious*
With this, I tried nightshade paolumu once again, putting everything together. turf wars, the sand pit, challenger mantle, poison cups and poison smoke bombs. and the result... *massive sigh of relief*
thank god. its possible. the run is saved
but wait, nightshade went down, but what about coral? the highlands don't have anything damaging to monsters, even in regards to turf wars. the most likely monster pukei can encounter is just tzitzi ya ku who doesn't do any damage. is poison really going to be enough to... oh wait coral is 3 star weak to poison? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA he ended up going down even faster than nightshade. this does pose a problem however, in that I will be in big danger should I encounter a monster on the highlands that ISN'T 3 star weak to poison, especially since the HP bars are only going to get bigger. At this point I did a mental checklist of every story required monster fought in the coral highlands. there are only 3 in total. coral pukei, ebony odogaron, and namiele. now just a quick google search to check their weaknessess and... wait seriously?
yeah by purely lucky hapenstance, the only 3 required monsters needing to be killed in the highlands are actually all 3 star weak to poison, so even without any traps, we'll be perfectly fine. how convenient!! thanks game
but all this said, I can't continue without upgrading to master rank pink rathian set. luckily I only need 2 pieces this time instead of 3. it does mean however farming pink rathian and anjanath in master rank, after the initial capture, the second kill of both these monsters is made significantly easier by taking place in the special arena. The kulu ya ku armor is worth the low armor so long as I just avoid being hit, and makes loading the cannons a breeze, combined with 2 points in the heavy artillery skill to double the damage of cannons and balistae and I have a reliable way to fight monsters without having to resort to poison smoke bombs, which is good because I found out during this time that the game doesn't allow you to use farcasters in the special arena. I had no idea. the more ya know.
I also picked up the astral gloves at this time for 2 points in divine blessing. seeing as damage skills are nearly all useless, my build skillwise is based around wide range, palico rally, tool specialist which I get from pink rathian, and as many defensive skills as I can cram into my build, and thats really all we need. As an aside, the apothecary mantle would not be a good fit for this build, if any of you were wondering. I am not sure whether it actually affects smoke bombs or not, but if it did it would actually lower the poison output from them. how status affects work in world is that every time you hit a monster with a status weapon, you have a 1 in 3 chance to apply your status build up to the monster. the apothecary mantle changes this to garuntee status build up on every hit, however in exchange, lowers the status build up you do on hit by either 33% or 50% depending on the status. this is to keep it from breaking the game obviously, and it still provides a VERY solid bonus to overall status output. however, smoke bombs ALREADY are garunteed to apply status on every hit, so if it DID affect them, all it would do is hurt the build up without giving me any benefit, in the end doing nothing for the user... kind of like an inurance company
the 3 stars are up next, starting with barioth. Barioth went down just like the rest using all of the strategies available to the hoarfrost reach, however, I also noticed during this hunt that in this zone, some of these ice clumps have jagged rocks in them. all the ice clumps can be destroyed, but if one with jagged rocks gets destroyed, the shrapnel does a little bit of damage to you and the monster. not much, but hey, damage is damage. Barioth, although not particularly noteworthy in this video, is a particular source of pride for me, as when I first played iceborne my very first time all those years ago, barioth was my biggest wall as a newbie player. I tried and failed and tripple carted several times against him, and after I stopped tripple carting, I was still timing out. it wasn't until my 6th try against him or so that I finally beat him with only 13 seconds left on the clock, and its incredible both to see how far I've come as a player and how much freedom the game gives you to really push its extra mechanics to the limits that I am now able to beat him on my first try in only 35 minutes without using a weapon or bombs or flinch shot. I'll probably remember this particular hunt from this challenge run more than most others for a very very long time.
nargacuga was notable only for the fact that it was good enough at being a crack adict that it dodged all my poison and timed me out once, but with a little extra agression it went down just like the rest. tigrex made me realize that the boulders on the top of the rotten vale are a joke more than anything else, I would have never guessed their damage was so low when they LOOK so intimidating. I had been using it before now, but now is a good time as any to mention that I've also picked up poisoned meat as a way to create poison build up. It's just noteworthy with tigrex because he's super easy to convince to eat things. but yeah, he and glavenous and brachy all went down with no real notes. Brachy was actually insanely easy, due to the simple fact that you fight him in the elders recess. any monster fought here is a joke. between 2 falling boulders in the center, lava geyser, and 4 nitrotoads that are reusable, and all the dangerous powerful monsters that live here that ALL have turf wars with each other, quests here are a vacation.
the first meeting with velkhana is up next, and well... it takes place in the recess in the area with 2 falling boulders, so the fights over after just 3 poisons. onto 4 star monsters!!! shrieking legiana an ebony odogaron are both 3 star weak to poison, but this is ESPECIALLY true for shrieking legiana. I did not know this beforehand, but legiana has a special animation when poison where it'll cough and chock and hack a lung up, giving you an extra stagger whenever its poisoned. and not only that, its tolerance is PATHETICALLY low, even at max tolerance never taking more than 4 smoke bombs to repoison. this is easily the weakest monster to poison in the game, matched only by normal legiana. I swear I almost killed both of them in the quest, and even with normal legiana never leaving shriekings fucking side this was the easiest shrieking kill I've ever had in my life. There are also new environmental traps up at the top of the reach available for use. 2 falling boulders which both missed their target in this hunt, and the hot spring zone, which will send water geysers up damaging monsters if you convince them to destroy the big rocks sitting on top of them. yeah, this quest was easy
I alluded to this before, but ebony odogaron is equally weak to poison as coral pukei, and I didn't even realize it was close to death. It's at this point where I must admit I have failed you, my dear audience. a fun fact is that poison and your palico cannot actually kill monsters, it always leaves them at 1 HP and requires the hunter to get the final hit. normally, I capture because its faster, but ocasionally a monster will get to 1 HP before I know it and I instead kill them with slinger ammo. perfectly fine, nobody gives a shit. this time against odogaron however, he got to 1 HP without me realizing it, and jumped into my hunting horn swing while I was trying to apply a buff and died. oviously this triggered the quest complete so I couldn't abandon quest and restart. However, this means in this situation that I could have killed him simply by shooting a rock at him, which in my head is proof enough that its doable and not worth completely replaying the quest in optional format for. so imma take this victory and move on. if you wanna declare run invalid, go ahead. i dont give a shit. ive still proven its totally doable and did it in practice, dealing more damage than his full HP bar following the rules. cheerio, moving on.
acidic glavenous was acidic glavenous, what more do you want from me? captured.
aahhh yes, the repel quest from velkhana. a favorite of mine. roaming balistae are always cool and nobody can tell me otherwise. and with 2 points in heavvy artillery, the balistae and cannons are enough with just 2 poisonings to once again just trounce the game. honestly, the 4 stars and the repel quest were the easiest point in this run. by far.
however, this is where the easy part of the journey stops, and the difficulty picks back up again, starting with velkhana proper in the hoarfrost reach. this quest, and velkhana in general, are dicks
to sum up my playing style, I have 4 main sources of damage. my cat, poison, environmental traps, and monsters fighting each other. However, all the assigned quests for the elder dragons spawn zero other monsters on the map, which lowers it down to 3. well thats fine, there are a lot of environmental traps in the hoarfrost reach, such as those boulders. but velkhana won't go to any of those on its own, so we'll need to use the challenger mantle to lure him there... and here's where the problems start to stack. in addition to no access to turf wars, velkhana is specially programed like most monsters to have certain areas he just refuses to go to. and it just to happens that velkhana is one of, if not the most, restricted monster in iceborne. Not only am I not able to take him to the falling boulders RIGHT NEXT TO HIS NEST, I also can't take him to the spiked ice pillars, I can't take him underground to the poisoncups or falling boulders, and I also can't take him to the landslide. the ONLY trap I can use are the water geysers at the hot springs, the weakest of all the traps on the map with a max damage potential of only 750 if I'm lucky, because unfortunately velkhana moves around a lot and in all my attempts, I only only got a few successful geyser hits. He's also very agile and refuses to sit still, making him difficult to poison. and now my 4 damage sources have turned into 2, realistically 1 and a half. vekhana timed me out twice
but by the third attempt I had caught onto the fact that he takes A LOT of damage from torch pods, and used my challenger mantle to keep him engaged only in locations with torch pods, spamming them on the ground and making him walk around in them. fighting velkhana felt very reminicinst of fighting the armored bore in dark souls, but... you know... a lot longer. velkhana was defintely the monster that took the most damage from my slinger throughout the game, by a wide margin. I mean just look at this, with 6 torches per set thanks to slinger capacity, this is like 65 damage a tick. once velkhana gets low enough to limp, he returns to the nest. something special about the assigned quest however is that once he goes to the nest, his programing changes and he will not leave the nest area for the rest of the duration of the quest, even when I'm using the challenger mantle, and the moment you're not in the area with him, he'll go back to sleep. additionally, there are no slinger ammo in the nest, as such. at this point in the quest, my strategy was to take the frieren approach and play tag with the dragon. I would wake it up and poison it as fast as I can, empy 25 rocks at it seeing if it was weak enough to die, and then facaster out, resupply, and repeat. took a while, but we did eventually get there. the iceborne wyvern slayed frieren style. thats what im talking about
seething baselguese could be best described as... *roar
...
a monster in the elders recess *montage* he also marked the first appearence of savage deviljho, and the turf warred twice, so he was REALLY fucked. a nice palet cleanser before the biggest disapointment of the run
blackveil vaal is, unfortunately, where things go from bad to worse. He is the third wall. As its an elder dragon assigned quest, there is still the issue of not having any other monsters on the field, and once again its in an area with little in the way of environmental traps, having poisoncups and 1 falling boulder. the poison cups could potentially carry me, if however blackveil wasn't highly resistent to poison. not only does it take an insane amount of buildup, often 10-11 smoke bombs to poison him once at max tolerance, but he only takes at base 160 damage from poison, 320 with the pink rathian set bonus, so not only is it difficult and slow to poison him, you get next to nothing out of it. to make matters worse he is a slow moving ranged monster making him a time wasting hassel to lure around with the challenger mantle and more likely to just get sniped, and taking next to no damage from torch pods, and blackveil almost perfectly counters every single option I have as a player. there are still some things I can do however, and I will go over them. I brought back the snowman to boost meowcanos, but, while easier to land on blackveil compared to coral and nightshade, it wasn't enough to completely carry the run. I also continually reloaded the quest and only did proper attempts when I got a map spawn with gajalaka allies and 2 gajalaka shellshocks on the map, or the same thing but with boaboa. I boosted all my allies continually using not just the hunting horn, but also with mega demon drug and might seed through the wide range skill, which is capped now using gems instead of just at level 3. it all still wasn't enough, so I went online, scouring ideas and made a community post on my channel asking for new ideas. someone suggested the geralt set and spamming the flame rune, but that would require clearing the witcher quest as geralt without swinging a weapon and also without my stache of smoke bombs, against the leshion which already takes a while to kill. it clearly just wasn't a possibility mathematically. it would probably be easier to slay vaal than it would be to slay leshion. another comment suggested using the challenger mantle to get vaal to the damn in the rathalos nest at the top of the map. I wasn't sure if elder dragons could be affected by landslides or not, so I gave it a try in an experimental run to see if it was possible only to find out that it doesnt matter because the rathalos nest is like the singuar area in the entire ancient forest that is off limits for vaal, so there goes that option too. I struggled with this for a few days, had no more feasible ideas, and came to the conclusion that I don't think it's mathematically possible to slay vaal in this assigned quest in 50 minutes.
in an official manor, the run technincally ends here. But i felt unsatisfied with this, as I wanted to at least see if the rest of the monsters were possible, especially when I was so close to the end. so officially, the run is over and the answer is no. but I'm going to make another attempt using barrrel bombs, and then continue without bombs again to see if he is the only impossible monster, for my own sake and for a more satisfying ending to the video.
with bombs and snowmen, the meowcano shreds, and 3 points in bombradier allows for much more damage, and even with all of this, it took until there were only a few minutes left to slay him, since he is so god damn tanky. man is it cool and fun to see bright explosions though :)
after that unhapy moment of defeat, we press on against namiele! once again bombs are not allowed, but as mentioned before, this monster is 3 star weak to poison, and the jellyfish dragon goes down on my second attempt with about 5 minutes to spare, with just poison smoke bombs and the meowcano
with that we approach the final 2 monsters, starting with ruiner nergigante
what can I say about ruiner nergigante... who would have thought that of all monsters, low, high, AND master rank, that ruiner nerigante would be my fastest kill time. I'm not joking. ruiner is so agressive and straight forward, even being more resistant than namiele he was a dream to poison. I just pinned myself against a wall at the edge of the arena, kept all my palico buffs active, meowcano'd (without snowmen i might add) and smoke bombed and he NEVER moved away or forced me to move away as long as I just repetedly spammed superman dives in the corner. it was a close of a direct fight and slugfest as is possible in this kind of run, and I felt my blood pumping throughout the entire hunt as I tried not to get hit while maintaining all the buffs I could. this was not only the fastest, but the most fun and most unique hunt in this entire run thanks to the small arena that ensured he never ran away. he went down in just 23 minutes, 23 MINUTES, and I was already at shara ishvalda

Hello! As the title says, looking for connections with like minded people :) Who feel like home and with whom things just flow easily and organically. I don't think you can describe it in so many words, but think we all know what it is. Just that click that happens with some people :) Someone to say good morning and good night to. Want to feel the joy of receiving a message and the satisfaction or surprise of finding out something new about the other.
I do like to talk throughout the day, even if it is a quick “how have you been?” or “look, found this funny snowman from the bus stop” message in a very busy day. So, prefer people who like to share about their days, :) And hopefully it will grow into sharing personal and deeper things about ourselves and our lives.
A bit about myself. Love being in nature and like to surround myself with plants, animals and things I have collected during nature walks, if I cant be there. Wild nature is my happy place and would be awesome, if listening to the life of the deep forest or stillness of the sea would be one of your hobbies too. Well, it is not a hobby though, not really. Just something I need to find peace and a way back to myself. One of the best feelings in the world is to take my shoes off and feel the damp grass or warm sand beneath my feet. And yes, sending daily random photos of trees, the beach, plants or rocks is one of my love languages :D
Also like music, DIY projects occasionally, love playing board games and movies-series that touch my soul. Sometimes I paint mandalas to small rocks or draw abstract pictures (I am not an artist though, just saying). Am very introverted and like to get into deep conversations sometimes and I do like to talk a lot if I click with someone :) I am single, no kids :) Spend a lot of time at home and if I go out, it is mostly for a nature walk. Would appreciate a good friend to keep me company :)
Very strongly prefer to connect with people within my own time zone, so looking forward to hearing from Europeans :) Just makes the daily conversations so much easier. Pls be close to my age (late 30s to late 40s).
If you think we would click, send me a chat invite and tell me about yourself. Include one thing most people don't really know about you or would be surprised to hear.
PS. I am not really looking for people who are just bored and looking for dopamine boost from few chats with new people.
Happy Wednesday to all :)

Hellooo, second post here trying to make friends :>
Imma try making my post a lil longer this time, so bare with me here
Hi! I go by Crow. I am 18 years old and in the US I use She/They/It/Fae/Ze pronouns interchangeably I would describe myself to be a non-religious neurodivergent lgbtqia+ Digital Artist I'm Lilafluid ☆°☆ I enjoy, Text based roleplay, creating characters, photography, drawing digitally, napping, baking, phytotherapy, answering questions, and reading web comics on Webtoon. I play games like Roblox, Town of Salem(1&2), Stardew Valley, Error143, Good Pizza Great Pizza, The Sims4, Spiritfarer, Gartic Phone, Cult of the lamb, Minecraft, and Monster Prom I REEEEAAAALLY wanna play Jackbox with someone at some point soon (I have party pack 4)
I'd play DnD if I knew how, had friends, and had time to do so 😂. While it's up my alley, I dont play yet. I dont know much about it, but I keep hearing of it! ☆°☆ I'm as picky with food as I am with people I dont like cheese unless it's on pizza with another topping I dont like Raw tomatoes but I'll eat stuff with tomatoes in it I dont like Mushrooms or Sushi at all ☆°☆ Heres a list of some of the games I play on roblox! Welcome to Bloxburg, Catalog Avatar Creator, Idiotic Investing, Copyrighted Artists, Bloxy Bingo, Epic Minigames, Treasure Island, Deathrun, Speed Draw, Natural Disaster Survival, Adopt Me, Pet Sim(99 and X), Restaurant Tycoon 2, Roblox Highschool 2, Dingus, Loomian Legacy, Doors (I cant play that one alone, I get too spooked lmao), Super Simon Says, Starving Artists, Fantasia, Design it, Moo, LOCOfficial, Welcome to Farmtown, Snowman Simulator, Forgotten Memories, and more ☆°☆ I've always wanted to go Skydiving, once I save up money I'm totally going
My work hours are semi-inconsistent, sorry if any of my replies are late at random times lol
When I have my own place I want to have a Rosy Boa🐍, Maine Coon🐱, and a Caucasian Shepherd🐶. I currently have a Garter Snake! ☆°☆ Some games I enjoy watching others play: Sucker for Love, Minecraft, FNaF, Sally Face, Simulacra, Inscryption, Dont Starve Together, Garten of BanBan, West of Loathing, Shadows over Loathing, Stray, God of War: Ragnarok, Undertale, Deltarune, Subnautica, The Quarry, We Happy Few, Town of Salem, Project Winter, Modded Among Us, Gartic Phone, Uno, Garry's Mod Prophunt, First Class Trouble, Codenames, Lethal Company, Clue, Jackbox Games, No Time to Relax, Lil Guardsman, Poppy Playtime, Kindergarten, House Flipper, Huniepop, Raft ☆°☆ Some Youtubers I enjoy watching in my freetime: Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, ChilledChaosGAME, GreyStillPlays, Kubz Scouts, CarynandCinnieGaming, Smokeebee, Dingo Doodles, TheRussianBadger, Telepurte, Sodikken, annapantsu, Let Me Explain Studios, Grain, Mumbo, Jimmy Here, P.M. Seymour, C.M. Alongi, Maruwhat, Call Me Kevin, Smosh and associated channels (Specifically Smosh Pit), Magic The Noah ☆°☆ Some Webtoons I enjoy reading! LambCat - Cursed Princess Club Little Melon - Sable Curse Ink. / Hyerim Sung - From a Knight to Lady Gonzales and Liss - Mythos Redone Kumatata / Hyun hoo Joo - The Strongest Florist Kate Flynn / Kit Trace - Nevermore ☆°☆ I only know/watch two animes; - I'm in love with the Villainess - Apothecary Diaries
I don't usually watch the more popular stuff cause I dont vibe with it. I'm not a combat kinda person
I like watching other stuff though! Like Hermitcraft, Grains Life Series, CaFae Latte, Murder Drones, ATLA, Fools Gold, The Owl House, Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel, Invader Zim, and Metal Family ☆°☆ I really like snakes!!!! I think they're neat :> And fire, fires really cool too
"Former Weird Kid" No, I'm still weird. I just got hotter ☆°☆ Goal: 3,000 songs on my music playlist GIMME YOUR MUSIC SO I CAN STEAL AND DEVOUR IT!! My super long playlist is Public on YouTube As if you wanna look through it! I'll trade the link for a song recommendation >:]
The only two genres I know I dont like as much are Noisewall and K-Pop, I dont hate them I just cant find any songs I enjoy from those genres :> ☆°☆ I prefer Bubble tea over Boba (YES THERES A DIFFERENCE!!!), I could never get around the texture of boba Pearl's in a drink. Plus the bursts of a secondary flavor are far more fun. ☆°☆ I suck at starting convos but I will try when I find things to talk about I just ask that you respond and maybe help get the convo running lol I may forget to respond sometimes, so don't be afraid to message multiple times! ☆°☆ Crow is an online nickname I use, I often connect with it more than my actual name. A lot of my friends tend to call me "Mom" so that's cool i guess. I tend to cuss quite a bit, I also use words that are usually seen as insulting towards friends If it makes you uncomfortable please inform me, I'm not meaning to be rude, it's all just lighthearted. I enjoy lovingly bullying my friends and people I get close to, if you're not okay with that (again) tell me ☆°☆ Ways to start a convo with me that isnt small talk:
Introduce yourself and say what caught your eye about my post
Bird puns! I thinks they're funny!
Answer my ice breaker What weapon would you compare yourself to and why?
Ask me questions! I like sharing information
Ask me about tone tags! I use them often :> ☆°☆ BOUNDARIES TIME!

• I dont want any relationship past pure friends
  
• Dont call me yucky relationship names
  
• I dont wanna talk to anyone older than 25
  
• I suck at small talk, SKIP IT! GIMME YOUR LORE!
  
• Specific convo topics are a no go (Religion, politics, etc). They make my uncomfy
  

Hello! Figured I would give it another go. So this is what I am looking for. Want to find close people who feel like home and with whom things just flow easily and organically. I don't think you can describe it in so many words, but think we all know what it is. Just that click that happens with some people :) Someone to say good morning and good night to. Want to feel the joy of receiving a message and the satisfaction or surprise of finding out something new about the other.
I do like to talk throughout the day, even if it is a quick “how have you been?” or “look, found this funny snowman from the bus stop” message in a very busy day. So, prefer people who like to share about their days, :) And hopefully it will grow into sharing personal and deeper things about ourselves and our lives.
A bit about myself. Love being in nature and like to surround myself with plants, animals and things I have collected during nature walks, if I cant be there. Wild nature is my happy place and would be awesome, if listening to the life of the deep forest or stillness of the sea would be one of your hobbies too. Well, it is not a hobby though, not really. Just something I need to find peace and a way back to myself. One of the best feelings in the world is to take my shoes off and feel the damp grass or warm sand beneath my feet. And yes, sending daily random photos of trees, the beach, plants or rocks is one of my love languages :D
Also like music, DIY projects occasionally, love playing board games and movies-series that touch my soul. Sometimes I paint mandalas to small rocks or draw abstract pictures (I am not an artist though, just saying). Am very introverted and like to get into deep conversations sometimes and I do like to talk a lot if I click with someone :) I am single, no kids :) Spend a lot of time at home and if I go out, it is mostly for a nature walk. Would appreciate a good friend to keep me company :)
Very strongly prefer to connect with people within my own time zone, so looking forward to hearing from Europeans :) Just makes the daily conversations so much easier. Pls be close to my age (late 30s to late 40s).
If you think we would click, send me a chat invite and tell me about yourself. Include one thing most people don't really know about you or would be surprised to hear.
PS. I am not really looking for people who are just bored and looking for dopamine boost from few chats with new people.
Happy Monday to all :)

Hello! Figured I would give it another go. So this is what I am looking for. Want to find close people who feel like home and with whom things just flow easily and organically. I don't think you can describe it in so many words, but think we all know what it is. Just that click that happens with some people :) Want to feel the joy of receiving a message and the satisfaction or surprise of finding out something new about the other.
I do like to talk throughout the day, even if it is a quick “how have you been?” or “look, found this funny snowman from the bus stop” message in a very busy day. So, prefer people who like to share about their days, :) And hopefully it will grow into sharing personal and deeper things about ourselves and our lives.
A bit about myself. Love being in nature and like to surround myself with plants, animals and things I have collected during nature walks, if I cant be there. Wild nature is my happy place and would be awesome, if listening to the life of the deep forest or stillness of the sea would be one of your hobbies too. Well, it is not a hobby though, not really. Just something I need to find peace and a way back to myself. One of the best feelings in the world is to take my shoes off and feel the damp grass or warm sand beneath my feet. And yes, sending daily random photos of trees, the beach, plants or rocks is one of my love languages :D
Also like music, DIY projects occasionally, love playing board games and movies-series that touch my soul. Sometimes I paint mandalas to small rocks or draw abstract pictures (I am not an artist though, just saying). Am very introverted and like to get into deep conversations sometimes and I do like to talk a lot if I click with someone :) I am single, no kids :) Spend a lot of time at home and if I go out, it is mostly for a nature walk. Would appreciate a good friend to keep me company :)
Very strongly prefer to connect with people within my own time zone, so looking forward to hearing from Europeans :) Just makes the daily conversations so much easier. Pls be close to my age (late 30s to late 40s).
If you think we would click, send me a chat invite and tell me about yourself. Include one thing most people don't really know about you or would be surprised to hear.
PS. I am not really looking for people who are just bored and looking for dopamine boost from few chats with new people. And don't t want to be involved in cheating.
Happy Monday to all :)

https://preview.redd.it/o6t3p17ernvc1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=b35bc3e4e69b0ea855a6a82678f9b1046a93e89b
Wow. This movie rocked!
It checks all the boxes for what a good Spy x Family story should have. And let's just say it checks the absolute SHIT out of those boxes (surprisingly, in both a figurative and literal sense. If you know, you know lmao). There are minor flaws here and there, and I would argue that checking those boxes so perfectly is somewhat of a flaw in itself, because it made the movie very predictable. BUT, ultimately, I left the theatre thoroughly satisfied and filled with that warm, wholesome feeling I get whenever I consume anything SxF. Endo and Co. knew the assignment and pleased the fans. That's all you can ask for when it comes to movie adaptations, really.
So, as a fan, consider me pleased, Endo-sensei!

------BEFORE WE GET STARTED...------

The previous paragraph was the TLDR of this post. Because this is not only a review of CODE: White, but is also an extremely detailed synopsis of the film as well (Which means spoilers ahead). So fasten your seatbelts, folks. Because when I say "extremely detailed synopsis," I truly mean it. This will probably take as long to read as it would to watch the actual movie. So yeah, you're gonna be here for a while. Last chance to leave is now.
There is a lot of shit to talk about. A lot of fun shit, a lot of wholesome shit, and a lot of actual shit (again, in a very literal sense). So let's start at the beginning, shall we?

------ONCE UPON A TIME------

OPENING SCENES. I preface things with this: Don't bring your kids to this movie. Or if you do, cover their eyes for the first two and a half minutes haha.
At the very start, a disguised Loid seduces some rando chick and kinda sorta gets to second base with her at the very least (implied in that he spreads her legs, with a scandalous shot of her victorian-style pantaloons in view, just before it cuts away). Only for him to knock her out, get some files for a spy mission, and then steal her clothes to escape with some rando guy he seduces AS HER (bro is making this woman out to be some kinda hussy for the greater good lmao). Then immediately afterwards, it cuts to Yor on an assassin mission, spraying like 10-ish gallons of blood out of man's jugular and onto a nearby wall. Yeah, it lowkey gets super suggestive and violent right from the word "go". So, uh, I repeat. Don't bring your kids to this movie. Or if you do, cover their eyes for the first two and a half minutes haha.
Anyway, they both get home at around the same time, and are greeted by Anya at the door. The narrator then exposits about the Forger family, thier situation, as well as their secrets. Including a quick explanation about Operation Strix and its target, Donovan Desmond.
MY THOUGHTS SO FAR. The spiciness placed right at the front makes for a surprisingly bizarre opening of the film. Not sure if that sets the right tone, given the wholesomeness that is to come afterwards. Especially when things don't get as sexual nor as violent ever again. But its Loid doing cool spy things and Yor doing gruesome murdery things! That's always fun, so I'll take it.
Also, I understand the necessity of getting a general audience up to speed on what the current status quo is. But I found myself wanting to fast forward past some of the exposition to get to the meat of this self-contained adventure. I don't know, maybe I was just so starved for SxF content that I just didn't want to the see stuff I already knew about... Good thing the exposition finishes as quickly as it starts!

------THE INCITING INCIDENCES------

Things then proceed by giving each character a reason to go on the adventure, by posing some sort of problem before each one of the Forgers:
LOID'S DILEMA. As Loid spies on Anya at school one day, he is called in by WISE via a letter delivered him by carrier-falcon, of all things. He is then informed by Handler that he is being replaced in carrying out Operation Strix, and is assigned to another mission entirely. Twilight objects of course, as he believes himself to be the only agent capable enough to make contact with a man as elusive and as reclusive as Donovan Desmond. Handler agrees, but states that the decision was made above rank. She also details that the one to replace Twilight, a man named Deppler, has an in with the higher ups of WISE. Which is why he is allowed to replace Twilight. Nepotism. Sylvia suggests that Twilight make more progress in Operation Strix to tide the higher ups over and convince them of keeping him on the mission.
YOR'S DILEMA. When Loid leaves the WISE base of operations, he bumps into Fiona outside, who is on her way in. The wind blows her hat away and he catches it. He hands it back to her, they have a small chat about Strix, then they part ways. Seems pretty normal. BUT little do they know, that Yor is hanging out with her coworkers on the rooftop of Berlint City Hall, and the woman spots the two of them from like 5 miles away. She even correctly recognizes the man she sees as Loid. Girl has bionic eagle vision, I guess! Much more unfortunate for her, Yor sees them from an angle that makes it appear as though they had kissed, with Fiona's face conveniently obscured by Loid's head. And of course, she panics and assumes the worst: That Loid has a secret lover.
This panic is compounded upon by the conversation the city hall gals have about the "3 signs of cheating" that men exhibit when having an affair:

1. He takes more business trips as a cover for his infidelity.
2. He changes his style of dress to better match his mistress's tastes.
3. He buys gifts for you as a way to ease his own guilt.

Yor spends a good chunk of the movie either feeling the need to confront Loid about the mystery woman she saw him with, panicking about being replaced by the mystery woman, or angsting over whether or not she should just let this mystery woman replace her (with the assumption that she is a failure and that Loid actually loves the mystery woman over herself). It's very predictably on-brand of her to feel this way, and it gets resolved pretty early on to boot. But we'll get to that in a bit. Also, despite this, its the WAY it gets resolved that is super fulfilling and even ROMANTIC, of all things! But again, we'll get to that soon.
ANYA'S DILEMA. When Anya was in school that day, Master Henderson brings up an annual desert-baking class/competition that has illustrious members of Eden alumni/staff as judges. He alludes that last year's first prize winner also won a Stella, which pumps Anya and Damian up for the competition. The two "friends" bicker and Anya pulls no punches, straight up calling Sy-on boi a shithead lol. She then goes home and informs her parents of the contest.
Loid wants to rig things in their favor by making the favorite dessert of Eden's Principle, who is this year's appointed judge. That dessert being an apple cake (of course an EDEN staff member would like apple-flavored somethings) called the Meremere. He decides to take Anya to Frigis, a neighboring northern country, where the Meremere originates. Yor assumes that this is a business trip and panics at the "first sign of cheating" appearing. Only to be invited as well, which quells her worries. Mama agrees to come along, and the pieces are all set!
MY THOUGHTS SO FAR. I really like how the motivations of each character for just the movie are kinda woven together. For instance, Anya's need to succeed feeds into Loid's need to keep the mission going. Its all very efficient, and to boot, it is all rooted in and reflective of what they all want individually in the source material. Loid wants to keep the family together (for the mission and "for the mission" lmao), Yor wants to do a good job as a wife and mother, and Anya wants to earn Stellas for Papa and have family fun-time while doing it. We all know that these are what the characters want. And that might be the problem...
One of my criticisms (that I have alluded to several times now) is that, as a long time viewer and reader, all of this is very predictable. The personal arcs that the characters go through in this movie have been tread upon before in the manga/anime. So I felt like this movie wasn't as fresh as an experience as I wanted it to be, since it doesn't really do anything new with the Forgers. But then again, at the end of the day, I am a fan of these characters in part BECAUSE of their established motivations. And I went to watch the movie in part to see these admittedly predictable motivations play out on the big screen. In short, established motivations come with the territory, so I'll tolerate it.
Also, if things went too far out of left-field with new or different arcs, then it would be hard to place the movie within canon, which anime movies based on a long-running series tend to do very vaguely, despite technically being non-canon. Sticking to the status quo doesn't shake up its placability within the overarching story. As a result, I'd say that the events are placable pretty much anywhere past the point where Bond comes in and before the introduction of Melinda Desmond.
So really, I myself am not quite sure of what I'm complaining about... So let's move on!

------TRAVELING SHENANIGANS------

The Forgers take a train to the northern country, and shenanigans ensue almost immediately. What occurs seems a bit random at first, but it ties into the overall plot of the movie eventually.
LOID & YOR ALONE TOGETHER. Anya wants to play cards, but is forced by Loid to study on the way there... Bummer, dad... Anya tries to escape study time by going to the bathroom, which leaves Loid and Yor alone in their cabin. Anya finds a key in the bathroom, which triggers Bond's vision of what kind of treasure it opens. The vision shows Anya marveling at the treasure as well as its location. But not what the treasure itself is.
Meanwhile, Loid laments about Anya's poor hand-writing, which Yor responds to with some encouragement. Saying that she helped Anya with her handwriting the day before. This elicits some praise from Loid about how good of a mother Yor is. Instead of accepting the compliment, she very typically turns it into self-deprecation. Though she acknowledge to herself that she may be doing well in the motherhood department, she whines about lacking in the wifehood department, AKA: the "Icha-icha" department. She then sees a young couple making out in the hall way and subconsciously makes awkward kissy lips in front of Loid! Oolala!! He cordially asks what is wrong, only for her to deflect by stating that her lipstick is uncomfortable. She deflects further by saying that Anya is taking a while to get back and hurriedly leaves the cabin in search of her daughter.
ANYA & THE TREASURE/YOR TO THE RESCUE. At this point, Anya is in the luggage hold and finds the suitcase containing the treasure. Its a piece of chocolate... She is disappointed, but panics when the two lackies that were tasked with retrieving the chocolate enter the luggage area. Anya accidentally eats the candy when she tries to hide. The men confirm that the chocolate was indeed a valuable treasure when they find it missing. Shocked, Anya flees, accidentally draws the lackies' attention, and they give chase.
The door in the next car over is jammed, so Anya and Bond get cornered. Anya cries at the top of her lungs for Mama, who unjams the door in full mama-bear mode. After Anya calls the two men meanies and chocolate thieves (and after sensing their killing intent), Yor beats up the lackies and takes Anya back to Loid. Neither of them inform Loid of this incident, as to not make him worry. Anya feels bad because SHE was, in fact, the chocolate thief...
MY THOUGHTS SO FAR. The more Yor is made to think about kissing Loid, the better.
Moving on from that though, I honestly don't, for the life of me, remember the names of the lackies. They were the comic relief villains of the movie and were pretty forgettable beyond that. It was almost as though they were designed purely to have someone for Anya to interact with and be antagonized by. Because outside of that, they don't stand out at all.

------FINALLY IN FRIGIS------

The Forgers arrive in Frigis! Anya is super excited about snow and Yor immediately builds a full snowman in like 3 seconds. But she becomes embarrassed about it as soon as Loid calls her over. Poor woman was ashamed of herself for having some fun... Anyway, they gather their things, make staying arrangements, and head for a certain restaurant to obtain the Meremere they seek.
THE RESTAURANT. They all go to a restaurant called "Rubble and Bonds," which serves the Meremere dessert. Oddly, the restaurant also only serves families. Kind of a dick move to customers with no family if you ask me, though it gets explained as to why this is the case pretty soon. Also-also Bond is left in the cold since they don't allow dogs either... The Forgers order their meals as well as the last Meremere of the day. By the way, Anya orders a chicken cutlet with peanut sauce. WITH. PEANUT SAUCE. Oh and, Bond eventually gets fed by one of the waitresses.
All is fine and dandy! But then... Yor notices that Loid is in a turtleneck sweater! He NEVER wears a turtleneck sweater!! She's his wife, after all. The woman can somehow spot his silhouette from like 5 miles off. Of course, SHE'D notice something like this too hehe. Regardless, Yor interprets this as "the second sign of cheating." In reality, Loid wore it because Frigis is known to be cold and snowy. But he's a bit warm in the sweater, and comments to himself that he perhaps overdressed for the location.
The chef/owner comes by to see if the Forgers are enjoying their meal. Loid then comments about the restaurant's peculiar name. The chef explains that the restaurant is named after a famous two-man team of fighter pilots from the last war. The display of their plane is seen just outside. He further explains that he had lost everything in the war, including his family. So he made his restaurant service only families in order to give his customers a chance to appreciate the family togetherness he had lost and rediscovered after the war (Still a dick move to customers with no family imo, but whatever). Loid internally reflects back on his own motivations as a spy, as a result.
YURI. Throughout all this deep introspection about war and family, we briefly cut to Yuri at the "Foreign Ministry" offices back in Berlint. He discovers that Yor left for Frigis for the weekend with Loi-Loi and Chihuahua girl. And so he tries to leave for Frigis as well, but is tackled to the ground by two SSS guards. I was actually surprised that they didn't need more men to do so lol. Anyway...
THE VILLAIN APPEARS. A military Colonel (who the two lackies from earlier work for), named Snidel, suddenly enters the restaurant. He breaks its family-only rule and takes the Forger's Meremere dessert for himself, claiming it as a meal of privilege for his duty as a serviceman... Anya cry.
Loid objects to this and tries to appeal to Snidel. But he ends up being challenged to a contest due to the Colonel's intrigue of him. Snidel and Loid are presented with 3 different desserts and must taste them to determine what kind of sugar is used in each dish. The person with the most correct guesses wins. The more specific the guess, the more the answer counts point-wise. If Loid wins or there is a tie, the Forgers get the dessert. Loid correctly determines the sugar types used in each dish! But Snidel determines both the types AND the amounts in grams. Papa loses because he was less specific... Anya cry.
With the game settled, Snidel eats his fill then abruptly leaves. The Forgers shrug thinking they can just come back tomorrow. But the chef says that the next shipment of Meremere ingredients comes by on Monday, just after the Forgers have to go back to Ostania... So they ask for the recipe instead, which they are reluctantly shown. Loid memorizes the recipe and they leave at once.
MY THOUGHTS SO FAR. As far as SxF villains go, Snidel is pretty good. He's not as mysterious as Donovan Desmond, he's not as hateable as Keith (the Bomb dog terrorist), he's not as complex as Billy Squire (The Red Circus leader), nor is he as much of an imposing threat as Winston Wheeler (the SSS mole within WISE). But he's pretty ruthless. And its clear that his subordinates respect his command as much as he commands their respect. He even has a peculiar way to counteract Loid's ungodly ability to disguise himself: A powerful sense of smell. But we'll get to that.
Also, the Yuri scene was a bit un-needed but overall harmless (which ironically describes him as a character to a tee lol)

------FRIGIS FAMILY FUN-TIME------

Now. This is the Slice of Life part of the movie! Which means its automatically my favorite part haha. We get to see the Forgers as a family, doing winter vacationy things, in the fashion that only the Forgers know how. Comedy ensues, of course. But also some touching moments. Particularly between Loid and Yor. Not only does Loid get genuinely romantic in this, but Yor lowkey proves why she is a good wife to Loid and not just a good mother to Anya. In short, this is where a lot of this movie's heart shines.
THE FLEA MARKET. The Forgers travel to a local flea market to gather the ingredients. Loid does so quickly, only missing two items: Orange Syrup and Cherry Liqueur. But suddenly, a local peddler woman comes by and offers to sell Loid some lipstick for his lovely wife. Remembering back to when Yor had "complained" about her lipstick, he agrees, purchases the lipstick, and gifts it to Yor. She panics, believing this to be the "third sign of cheating." She asks him to confirm whether or not this is a gift. When Loid innocently confirms that it is, she becomes concerningly distraught, to his confusion. She then slowly drags her feet away to the bathroom in order to apply her new gift...
Soon after, Anya sees a shooting gallery game at the flea market, which has a bottle of Orange Syrup as one of its prizes. One must knock it over with a cork-gun to win it as a prize. However, she discovers through telepathy that the game is rigged. Each prize has a hidden metal prop holding them up from behind. After Anya fails to knock down the syrup, Loid intervenes and gives a crack at the game. He angles his shot to have his cork ricochet off of several prizes, knocking them all over, including the syrup. This reveals the props behind the prizes, and Loid quietly advices the man running the game to play fair from now on. There he goes again, making honest men out of his enemies lol.
DRUNK YOR. After the shooting game incident, Anya gets distracted by a kiddy rollercoaster ride. She hops on, and whenever she passes by while riding it, she says something cute or dumb like, "Chi-chi! I'm back!" Loid just watches on, confused as to how slowly riding around in a circle can be this fun for her. It's at this point that Yor returns from the bathroom and Loid offers to buy her a warm drink. Yor instead slams down wad, after wad, after wad of hard-earned dalc in order to down 10 cups of wine at minimum! Determined to get a clear answer about the mystery woman, she gets drunk, yells at Loid incoherently, backs him into an alleyway, judo flips him, kabedons him while he's on the ground, then passes out on top of her thoroughly confused husband. Anya watches on from the rollercoaster ride in mild horror.
Hours pass, and Yor finally awakens. She gets embarrased and thinks to herself that her actions might have convinced Loid to divorce her. Anya picks up on this thought and remembers how Becky said that a divorce is when a mom and dad battle, with the result being the destruction of the family... Anya Panic.
THE FERRIS WHEEL (AKA MY FAVORITE PART OF THE MOVIE BECAUSE OF LOID/YOR ROMANCE). But then, a man comes by advertising for the "Icha-icha" ferris wheel ride across the way. Anya convinces her parents to take the ride without her in an attempt to prevent divorce. The girl's rash actions makes Yor realize that her gloomy and erratic behavior is causing both Loid AND Anya to worriy. And so she admits to Loid that she was acting strange because she wanted to confront him about the mystery woman. Loid clears up the misunderstanding, saying that the woman was not his lover. Although he never confirms that the woman was Fiona AND he lies by saying that the woman was a complete stranger asking for directions... Regardless, Yor is relieved but is still scared that he will divorce her.
This leads to Loid kneeling before Yor and taking her hand! Mind you, there is no "honey-trap scheming" going on in his head!! So its played straight, as though what he is about to say are his genuine feelings!!! Loid then remembers the night he put a grenade pin on her finger. He says that he made a vow to her the day they met, one he'd NEVER go back on. Remembering the grenade pin proposal as well, Yor becomes embarrassed. To the point where she slaps Loid right out of the ferris wheel gondola and onto the pavement below. He lands on his feet, like a cat, of course. Though his cheek is ballooned up and pink with swelling... Anya sees the lump and panics even more because they were "divorce-battling." They deny such notions, and so Anya asks if they were "flirt-battling" instead. To which they very typically and very vehemently deny, as well! The gag normally ends there. BUT..., and this is a VERY BIG BUT...
After Loid and Yor deny any Icha-icha, Anya's mind-reading sound effect can be heard briefly in the background. She then gives off a satisfied smirk, HEAVILY implying that she had read her parents' minds right then and there, and that they were both full of Icha-icha thoughts! The context clues are all there: Loid was blushing, both him and Yor look away from each other with awkward expressions, and Anya smirks as though she just caught them in a lie and KNOWS that Chi-chi and Ha-ha love each other for realsies, even if they themselves don't realize it. Its pretty subtle, but its clearly obvious.
CHECK. FUCKING. MATE. Too bad this is technically non-canon...
LOID LEAVES FOR A BIT. After that beautiful scene, Anya and Yor go to the hotel while Loid stays around to look for the last missing ingredient. He wants to do so alone since he will be using illegal/infiltration methods. He looks everywhere to no avail and ends up calling Frankie, who is currently rizzing up a cute girl at his smoke shop (and might I add, successfully so)! Loid's call distracts him and she politely leaves. After some bickering, Loid eventually convinces Frankie to bring him a bottle of Cherry Liqueur. Frankie then embarks on an off-screen journey to Frigis, Liqueur in hand.
Meanwhile, Anya and Yor very cutely play "Good Guys vs Bad Guys," and wait for Loid to return for some more quality time together. Mama even tucks baby in after she's tuckered out. Awwww... My heart. So FULL.
Its too bad that Snidel shoots one of his men back at his Airship base, who he quite literally sniffs out as a WISE informant. The two lackies then appear and inform Snidel that the microfilm they were looking for has been eaten by a small child. At WISE HQ, Handler is informing her agents that their mole in Frigis just died, and that they must retrieve the microfilm before Snidel and his command does. Or else war happens. Luckily, Loid is conveniently in Frigis for Operation Strix purposes and will do just that. Fiona, who is present at the briefing, voluntarily rushes off in a lovestruck mad-dash at the chance to aid her senpai.
ANYA RUNS OFF. Loid returns to the hotel empty handed, but comes back saying that there is a shop several towns over that has the Liqueur they need. He tells them to remain at the hotel as he leaves again. Anya protests after being woken up by his return, calling Chi-chi a liar because he came back later than he had promised. Loid internally reminds himself about the stakes being held over Operation Strix. About how he'll be replaced if Anya doesn't get a Stella soon. Anya reads this thought and it makes her act more urgently, now saying that she wants to come along this time. But Loid says no, and Anya depressingly walks to her room, understanding that she would get in the way... Anya Cry.
Loid feels bad about this and Yor comfortingly asks him to compromise, as the car he rented to drive to the far-off town has 5 seats. She suggests that all of them go together and for Loid to overlook Anya staying up with them for just tonight. Yor even brings up the fact that when she was raising Yuri, his happiest days were holidays because that meant no school, which meant more quality time with her. Yor insists that Anya wants just that with Loid. Especially because they are on vacation. So Loid relents and agrees to Yor's suggestion of bringing everyone along. (See, Yor? You ARE a good wife!)
Anya still Cry though. But she hug goodest boi Bond, who gives her a vision of where she can get Cherry Liqueur very close by. Determined not to get Papa replaced (which will disband the Forger family), Anya and Bond jump out of the window to go get the Liqueur by themselves.
Before Loid can call Anya over for Yor's plan, room service rings the doorbell. Surprise though! Its actually a very YANDERE Fiona, disguised as a maid and breathing very heavily from sprinting all the damn way to Frigis in what would realistically be a matter of hours (Mind you, Frankie is still slowly on his way to Frigis at this point. So Fiona just out foot-raced a whole-ass cross-country train ride). Loid speaks with Fiona out in the hall and is informed about the microfilm and Snidel, which reminds him of their encounter at the restaurant. Yor interrupts having discovered that Anya jumped the window and left a poorly written apology letter about doing so.
MY THOUGHTS SO FAR. This is the BEST section of the movie for me. Character-wise, it just gets the dynamics down so good. Yor and Loid being overtly subtle when it comes to romance, Anya and Yor being the definition of sweetness and home, and Loid just not understanding anything in regards to the ladies in his life. Its done all so effectively here as is usual.
I reiterate that this is where the heart of the film shines. The family bits. The parts where we're not worrying about the fate of the world. The moments where we just see three strangers finding for themselves a sense of belonging among one another. That, I would argue, is the essence of Spy x Family. Why we as the audience care. And this part of the movie executed that sentiment perfectly.
Especially with Yor. She really, truly IS a good wife despite how she sees herself. Its not just about satisfying your man's physical or romantic needs. Companionship and commitment count for SO MUCH more in a relationship, and Yor's approach of being a wife is proof, whether she realizes it or not. She is someone who respects, supports, and guides her husband whenever he's at a loss. She always seems to mediate the tension and hardship away within the family, with a surprising amount of wisdom to boot. And what's more, its all done very much in-character due to how pure-hearted she is portrayed as being within the source material.
Anya may be the face and the star of Spy x Family. And Loid may be its complexity as well as its depth. But this movie made me realize that Yor is definitely its heart.
(...To Be Continued in a Part 2 of this review, due to character limit restraints...
Part 2 is here: https://www.reddit.com/SpyxFamily/comments/1c8u5ba/a_review_extremely_detailed_synopsis_of_spy_x/ )

(Spoilers Ahead)
Super's writing is better than Sky's.
​

"Woah woah woah, hold it right there. You're trying to compare Sky, the greatest Pokémon Mystery Dungeon game of all time, with a great plot, great pacing, great twists, great post-game story, great special episodes, great character cast, great music, great art, and a well-executed, original concept, to the dumpster-fire story that is Super, where you spend half the main game stuck in a dinky little village getting to know Pokémon who hardly show up later in the plot, playing as a child among children, learning about "Mightyena and the Three Spoinks" and similar such topics, getting borderline whiplash from the horrible pacing and spontaneous, nonsensical plot twists, arriving at the final boss only to find out that it's Frosty the Snowman 2: Electric Boogaloo, and all while having to deal with an annoying and unconventional partner who literally takes over as the main character? Get serious, mate."
"And you, a bumbling buffoon, an insignificant whelp, the essence of obscurity, have taken it upon yourself to challenge the gods of this land, in their own home, and defy that which has long been set in stone? Foolish mortal! Many have come before you preaching this blasphemous drivel to their own end, and you are no different. Thus have you spoken, and thus have you sealed your doom. Begone, then, lest I smite your corpse when the dogs are finished!"
"Well, this ought to be good."

​

Yes, yes, I hear it all. You are thinking at least one of these things right now; don't deny it.
Well, to answer those questions, most assuredly. By all means do I wish to "defy what has been set in stone", to challenge the consensus, to make known the feelings I have kept hidden until now. Because these are my honest opinions, and I'm willing to share them even when it means spelling chaos and division.
And why not? What is a community without division? A hivemind of naysayers, a mob of disdain, a voice of unreason. Where there is avid agreement, there, too, is avid ludicrosity. To kill division is to spell a slow, intellectual death upon a group of likened individuals. It is to take away that very thing which once perceived them as being unique and special. It is to rob them of their propriety, their integrity, and their sense of self.
But dispute and dissension sharpens the wit, and promotes personal thought. It drives one to innovate, and to consider carefully those virtues which lie in patience, astuteness, and humility.
In this regard, I implore you to read my statement with an honest and receptive mind, and I, in turn, shall do my best to be impartial, insofar as I'm capable. For how can one speak of such subjects without being subjective? The very core of this topic is the heart of preference. It is a fool's errand to argue otherwise.
And yet, I come not without evidence. Nay, would you judge my loquaciousness a mere front for stupidity? That I would stumble blindly into reasoning as a badger into thorns and thistles? Forsooth!
Yes indeed, there are things I have found which would send even the most fervent of scholars quaking in their meditative cocoons, and surely persuade a would-be skeptic to my cause. Of all the great minds- Socrates, Aristotle, Gorb, and Plato- none yet have seen the likes of these, the grounds of my belief, my insoluble arguments. What, then, are these terrifying discoveries, you might ask?
I will tell you. And I will hold nothing back. You shall know what it is that dulls my fears, that causes my miseries to appear like trifles, that evokes in me every waking night a feeling of bitter dread for the slumbering state in which this subreddit now exists.
Woe, that it had not fallen to one such as I! For many a stout-hearted man would blanch at the prospect of my task: to deliver verity to unlistening ears, to enlighten the proud leviathan and the lowly swine, to drive in the stake that destroyeth blissful ignorance. Yet there comes a point when a being may no longer retain silence; they must cry out for what they believe or face that nameless anguish some vainly call isolation. But it is an isolation of another kind- a deeper, more desolate kind. The closest our limiting speech can come to describing it is "torture", but it is still painfully insufficient.
And I have reached that point. I have been made aware of a knowledge so heavy that to bear it for even a second would cause the weak to swoon. I can no longer sit by and watch as countless others fall for the same traps which have ensnared so many. To do so would be to invite depravity into one's own household. For what I say now cannot be rejected- alas, lest sky descends upon our skulls, and sea erupts from stony bed, and Armageddon comes in a fiery rage!
Harken, oh you scorners! Listen, you who turn away in shame! Heed my words! I am not speaking to deceive you- for what would I have to gain? I speak only of what must be revealed. It is a gift that I give you now, as well as a curse. The curse of wisdom, to understand that which no other has before- or ever should! For what fearful wisdom is this! What despair it will bring to the ages! It is not for the fragility of mortal kin! But it is necessity that compels me, and so I must tell. I must tell of the things I bear witness to. I have no choice in the matter. The time is now.
It was no easy feat, to control the feelings I've had for as long as I've had them; it has taxed me more than anything else. To keep secret up until now what is essentially the key to true insight... I have gone out of my way to do so, and lost the respect of many a sound individual. I am mocked day and night for the way I act. I am told to rest, as if sleep would aid the sickness of my heart. They belittle my ceaseless trepidation. They scoff when I mutter incoherently- though they know not the reason. They call it insanity. I call it burden. They call it madness. I call it truth.
But it matters not what they say, for they are the ones who are lost. Yes, they are the ones who will wallow in their own delusion. When they hear the truth, they will quiver and fall silent. They will find agony, pure agony- a thousand times, agony!- then they will be sorry. But alas, too late! If only they had listened sooner!
And would that I were not alone! Would that someone believed my words as they read them here! Oh, but I am not- for there are those of you who would agree with me! Yes, surely it is so! I am speaking to you, reader. Please, if you have even the smallest ounce of humanity left after all this, I beseech you, spread the word. Inform the ones you are closest to what you have learned here today. Leave a reply in the comments dictating what a life-changing experience this was. Let them know! For we have limited time, and the clock is ticking.

​
TLDR: Oh, so you've found your way down here? You should read from the beginning for my full opinion.
Peace, love y'all. And happy late 15th Anniversary, Explorers of Sky!

Book report guy here. This book was a fun read, with JR being very nice to most everyone but still attempting to be honest.
I'll have a link at the bottom to his 2nd book, which I did a post on a year or so ago. Anyways, it's in chronological order as always. I hope it's a fun read...
In the early 1970s, JR was recruited to a couple of fraternities in college, and after a chaotic flag football game in 1974 that got some negative press, his fraternity was ordered to do community service While most guys were organizing car washes and bake sales, JR wanted to put on a wrestling show. He didn't know where to start though, and basically just called the local promotion up, and in possibly the most shocking things I've ever read in one of these books, JR says his one phone call led to not only getting front row seats to an NWA World title match between Harley Race and Bill Watts, but JR got a meeting with Bill Watts and his partner Leroy McGurick to pitch his idea!
JR's meeting with Cowboy Bill Watts was fast, and all JR said was they got free radio time to advertise before Watts laid out the groundrules. JR pays for pretty much everything, including a $250 fee for one of Watts guys to haul the ring over. JR supplied the venue as well as paying for security and ensuring there are two locker rooms for heels and faces. (Though they kayfabed JR and said it was for everyone's safety) Watts said he would supply 8 wrestlers plus a referee and he will give them a good card. JR could keep all concession stand money, but 80% of the gate goes to Watts, leaving 20% for JR. JR agreed immediately.
JR didn't get Bill Watts himself on the card for that show, but he got his idol Danny Hodge! JR got a ton of radio spots and recorded them himself. The show was such a success that they sold all 2500 tickets!
It was so successful that they did it again a few months later with another sellout, and this time, Bill Watts was on the card. Bill actually asked JR before the show, "How are you pulling this off?" And when JR explained his radio and newspaper deals, Bill told him they would talk more after the show.
JR was surprised when the Bill Watts main even match only went 10 minutes with some big power moves, while Danny Hodge's main event at the previous show went half an hour with a series of grapples and lots of back and forth offence. Bill told JR after the show how the main attraction Heavyweights don't go that long unless it's a special attraction. JR noted how both shows were received well with no one disappointed by the length of Watt's match.
After the show, JR described his buisness tactics and impressed Watts, who told JR that they weren't even doing some of that stuff in his main territory. Watts told JR that once he finished college, to come find Bill for a job. JR instantly quit school and decided he was going to work in the wrestling industry in some capacity.
Bill Watts hired JR as Leroy McGurick's gopher, telling JR it was his job to pick up Leroy every morning, take him to the office, run any errands for him and take him home. Leroy was legally blind in both eyes, and JR found himself taking notes in all the big NWA and other promotional meetings. JR also says Leroy needed liquor and cigars every morning, and it was his job to make sure he was presentable every Tuesday for tv tapings, which Leroy was the commentator for. JR is super nice about it, and puts over Leroy's wrestling acumen, but it's clear Leroy was a drunk most of the time who struggled to keep himself dressed, let alone running a wrestling promotion.
The drive to TV tapings would be 3 hours in the car with the drunken and blind Leroy, and while most of the time, it was driving in silence as Leroy would pass from drinking. Often times though, JR would have to listen to Leroy bitch and moan about what or whom ever pissed him off. JR was the babysitter.
JR says Bill Watts paid him about $125 per week, and Bill noted how he appreciated JR's discretion, since JR sat in on some pretty significant meetings. JR says wrestlers would routinely try to get him to spill those secrets, and JR knew that if he does, he wouldn't be valuable to Watts anymore.
JR says he would also referee matches at this time as well, since most of the refs from that Era were getting older. JR was told to ref every match like a shoot, that good heels wouldn't get caught and if he had to DQ someone, to not hesitate and let Watts deal with the pissed off wrestler in the back after the match.
Before his first referee match, Harley Race asked JR to demonstrate how he makes a 3 count. When JR did, Harley nodded and told him to maintain the same cadence and timing for every single 3 count. It seems guys were familiar with the counting speed of each referee. That's pretty fascinating imo.
JR reminices on all the wild things he learnt from these legends while driving in cars with these old time legends like Danny Hodge and such. JR notes how he hilariously learnt how to roll a joint while steering a car with his knees.
JR's hero was Danny Hodge and JR says Hodge was the best driving companion and JR learnt a ton from him.
JR recalls the Canadian "Bruiser" Bob Sweetan taking advantage of JR when Danny Hodge was traveling elsewhere. JR says Sweetan would rip him off on card games when they drove together and how Sweetan would "accidentally" hit JR in matches when JR was referee. JR says one time Sweetan busted his nose. JR says Hodge roughed Sweetan up when he returned to their circuit.
With a wife and child on the way, JR nearly quit the business altogether until 1975, when Bill Watts randomly asked him to try commentating out alongside the blind Leory McGurick. Watts gave him $100 and told him to buy a suit fit for TV, but Watts did later ask for the receipt and change.
JR studied Gordon Solie almost every day since he started working for Watts. On his first show, when JR started doing his best Solie impression, Watts cut him off and said "If I wanted Solie, I'd just hire him." Watts then told JR to find his own voice. JR remembers Leroy snickering at that.
JR stayed as mostly a referee over the next several years, with the odd commentary job when he was randomly needed.
In 1976, JR remembers Dick Murdoch getting fined his "entire paycheck except one dollar." JR says he saw the check out to Murdoch for literally just $1. Murdoch's hilarious plan to get back at Watts for the fine, was to never cash the check. He laughed as he told JR that Watts would never be able to balance his check book and Murdoch hoped that Watts would kill himself out of frustration.
In 1979, Bill Watts and Leroy McGurick's partnership deteriorated to the point where they split the territory. Leroy took the Northern half, so Oklahoma as well as a few towns in Arkansas, Northern Texas and Southern Missouri. Watts took Louisiana and Mississippi, the states that would form the core of Mid-South Wrestling.
Despite being a "Watts guy" JR stayed with Leroy in Oklahoma, because he lived there and was currently going through a divorce. He didn't want to lose contact with his daughter.
JR remembers "Bruiser" Bob Sweetan once saying "I could make her purr like a kitten" while talking about a 12 year old girl. Sweetan was good friends with Jake Roberts dad Grizzly Smith. JR says just thinking of this makes him feel genuinely sick.
JR left the wrestling buisness for a couple of years from 1979 - 1982, where he moved home and attempted to run the local mercantile store he grandparents had owned. JR was miserable and it failed. He found out after filling for bankruptcy that his mother secretly leveraged her own mortgage to help secure JR the loan for the store. This only compounded JR's feeling of failure.
When JR's second marriage got rocky, JR remembers his dad saying, "maybe marriage isn't for you."
In the years that JR was out, Bill Watts had absorbed Paul Boesch's Houston promotion, and after Watts finally bought Leroy out of Oklahoma in 1982, Watts called up JR asking for his help with advertising. JR was working for a local radio station at the time, and jumped at the opportunity to get back into the wrestling business.
Bill Watts would eventually hire JR as Director of Marketing in 1984 after JR started his own radio marketing business. JR desperately wanted back in the broadcast booth and saw this as a possible avenue.
Bill would ask JR to do commentary work almost immediately and JR says when Bill Watts worked out a trade for wrestlers with Mephis, Jerry Lawler came to a Mid-South show and did color commentary alongside JR. I didn't realize they did a show together in the mid-80s. JR says they worked great together even then, and noticed how Jerry was scanning the crowd checkling out the ladies. Though JR does say that the number of women in the audience is a good indicator of how over the babyface is.
JR was shocked when Watts asked him to not only be the on camera interviewer for all the promo tapings, but Watts literally put JR in charge of the tapings too. JR remembers being terrified that he was gonna have to be the "boss" pf a bunch of wrestlers at promo tapings.
JR remembers one particular taping with Jim Cornette, who cut a scathing promo ripping into JR for a minute or two. Afterwards Bill Watts chewed out Cornette with a tirade of profanity and insults, because all Cornette did was build up a program between Cornette and JR. And since Watts had zero intention of that ever being a program, he made Cornette redo the whole promo and told him to actually talk about the teams. Cornette was only a couple years into the business, but JR noted how impressed he was by Cornette who took it all on the chin, didn't take it personally and then did it exactly like Watts told him to.
JR remembers when Muhammed Ali stood in the corner of Eddie "Snowman" Crawford when Eddie faced off against Jake "The Snake" Roberts. JR says Roberts wasn't thrilled to have to work with Ali or sell for him. JR says that when. It came time for their physical altercation, Jake didn't sell like he had agreed to and stayed awake. He was supposed to get KO'd but JR suspects Jake was trying to save his own credibility, which was needless since it was Muhammed Ali of all people who was supposed to knock him out. Jake would have lost nothing.
JR spent some time with Muhammed Ali and says one time while at Ali's home, JR made an excuse to call his mom because he wanted Ali's number to show up in her machine. He never used it or gave it to anyone, but he thought it was super cool to have Muhammed Ali's home phone number.
By 1985, JR was working non-stop and surviving off "crown royal and a little bit of Marijuana everyday" to get him through the routine. Even with a six figure salary, JR was getting burnt out and seriously neglecting his parental responsibilities. He says outside of being financially responsible for his kids, he wasn't really there for him. I always appreciate when these guys are honest about their own parental shortcomings in these books.
With the National expansion of pro wrestling, JR remembers how Crockett Promotions and Mid-South Wrestling were both briefly on the Turner stations. Crockett Promotions was averaging 4 million viewers and Mid-South was averaging 5 million. JR was secretly hoping the 2 companies would join forces to challenge Vince McMahon and the WWF, but that wasn't in the cards.
After Turner kicked Watts and Mid-South off their station favor of Crockett Promotions, Bill Watts was pissed and desperate to compete nationally with Crockett and more importantly, the WWF. Watts rebranded Mid-South Wrestling as the United Wrestling Federation, or UWF with hopes of competing on a bigger scale.
By 1987, the UWF was struggling in every department except ratings and JR could sense that Bill Watts was as burnt out as JR, if not more. JR randomly asked Bill if he would sell UWF to Crockett Promotions and for a split second, JR couldn't tell if Watts would respond positively or negatively. Watts almost immediate said "Two Million. You get us two million and I'm out."
JR said he stood to make 5% of the sale price, and he was ready to negotiate his heart out. So JR was a little shocked when Jimmy Crockett asked "How much?" immediately. JR said four million, ready to negotiate, but it seems Crockett was happy with that deal. JR suspects he just didn't want to give Vince and the WWF another promotion to buy out.
JR later says that he heard Crockett paid less than 4 million and after months of hounding Watts for his 5% cut, JR got a check for ten grand.
JR decided to stay on working for Crockett, but now it was solely as a broadcaster. For the first time, JR was only an on-air talent with no office responsibilities, and you can tell he loved that.
JR criticizes the Ronnie Garvin NWA World title win over Ric Flair in 1987, saying it had zero buildup and bad follothrough. I remember Ric Flair feeling similarly about it in his book as well.
In 1988 JR got to call his first ever prime time event on TBS, the Clash of Champions show. JR had been working the B-level shows alongside Bob Caudle while David Crockett and Tony Schiavone were calling the big shows. JR had made it his immediate objective to get on those main shows.
As WWF continued to pick up momentum and Crockett Promotions continued to struggle, JR remembers looking at Jimmy Crockett and seeing the same look that Bill Watts had a few years earlier and within months on 1988, rumors started into circulation suggesting that TBS was either looking to bail Crockett Promotions out or buy them outright.
JR remembers being crushed when his parents split up in 1988, and his dad quickly moving in with a new woman. JR confronted him once but his dad cut him off quick and made it clear that they wouldn't be discussing this. In hindsight, JR seems to accept this as something he can't help. But in the moment, this was devastating to him.
JR remembers being excited when Crockett Promotions sold to Turner and was rebranded as WCW. He had a salary, corporate benefits and a retirement package. Not a bad climb from a guy who started off by fetching whiskey for and old drunken, blind man.
Like everyone else in the wrestling business, JR has nothing really positive to say about Jim Herd, who was made Vice President of day to day operations for WCW following the Turner purchase. JR suggests he only got the job because no one in Turner wanted it and he was drinking buddies with the guy in charge of finding someone to run it.
JR says Dusty Rhodes was removed from the WCW booking committee after he bladed heavily when he was told "no blading."
JR remembers one time he was drinking with Flair, who whipped his penis out for a couple of ladies that Flair was chatting up. Flair got the ladies back to his limo before pulling his pants down, and both ladies screamed and ran from the car. When JR asked Flair why he did that, Flair said because it "works 50% of the time and that was 50% more of a chance than you had before." Flair claimes that move was to get JR laid.
JR says one time Dick Murdoch showed off his own KKK member card. JR was confused why Murdoch was showing him and expected it to be a rib of some kind. But Murdoch just walked off and no one jumped out laughing.
JR remembers how he was the middle man between Jim Herd and the rest of the WCW booking committee and he would catch heat from the boys and the office when there was a disagreement. JR defends Herd's point of view, saying that Herd learned from working for Sam Muchnick in St Louis. St Louise didn't do much interviews or promos and Herd thought that's how all wrestling should be, despite having guys like Terry Funk or Jim Cornette who could talk people into the buildings.
Interesting point here, JR says he wanted to pull the trigger on Sting in 1989 and said he was trying to talk Ric Flair into it. JR believed Flair didn't need a world title and they could have 2 top draws in Flair and Sting. JR says that some on the booking committee opposed this, and alludes to Flair himself opposing it. In Flair's book, he presented it as if he was the only one pushing for Sting and that he had to fight Herd in order to drop the title to Sting. Odd discrepancy here and I'm inclined to side with JR. JR never out right says Flair opposed it, but says everything but that and points out how Sting's push had to wait while they placate Flair's requests.
JR requested a meeting with Herd so he could discuss a raise for himself and Tony Schiavone and not only did JR and Tony both get a 50% raise, but JR was given Tony Schiavone's spot calling the TBS shows, but Tony was demoted to syndication where JR was. JR knew this hurt Tony and argued to switch roles but Jim made it clear this wasn't a discussion amd ended the meeting. JR says Tony took a job for WWF a week later.
JR's broadcasting idol Gordon Solie was unceremoniously removed from broadcasting in 1985 in favor of Tony Schiavone and David Crockett, but he was brought back for a small idea in 1989. Solie would record 2 or 3 minute responses to angles as a sort of analytical role for the viewer. They had the first one scheduled for later in the evening and JR was shocked to get a call informing him that Solie was drunk. JR didn't want to scold or embarrass someone he respected so much, so he sent him to bed and made sure all future recordings would be in the morning to avoid this. Gordon Solie was well known to be a bit of a drunk by this point.
JR remembers on the rare occasion they would have Solie call an entire shoe with JR, they would have a cooler full of orange juice and vodka so Solie could sip screwdrivers for the 4 hours he would be stuck there.
JR has nothing but praise for Terry Funk working as color commentary with him, saying Funk would listen and respond to JR similarly to how he listened and responded to the crowd in the ring.
JR says it was George Scott's idea to bring Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat to WCW in late 1980s.
JR remembers being suprised when Tony Schiavone came back to WCW in 1990, though JR had heard that the moving the family up to New York area wasn't working out to well for him.
JR seemed to enjoy Ole Anderson being made booker of WCW in 1990 and liked having a voice in charge. He also liked how hands off Ole was with announcers, so JR could just do his job.
JR says Ole Anderson wrote the main shows, while JR and Tony Schiavone wrote the secondary shows.
JR says Lex Luger, while nice enough, came across as arrogant and more concerned with his looks than anything else. JR also pointed out how all the flip flopping from heel to face and back again, made it impossible for Lex to get comfortable in a role.
JR remembers being frustrated by the RoboCop angle they had to incorporate. JR said that the RoboCop suit was too cumbersome to run and too restricting to climb in the ring or even throw a punch, so they had to figure out how to incorporate a guy stuck in a full body cast.
Again, JR says the company was ready to pull the trigger on Sting when he came back from blowing out his patella tendon at the Clash show. But JR says it was Ric Flair putting the breaks on it, with JR saying "He didn't like the idea of not being associated with the big gold belt." Flair's book put Flair over as Stings biggest advocate backstage, with Flaor saying he flat out refused to lose to anyone but Sting.
JR notes how Ric Flair put the breaks on JR's idea to bring in The Great Muta to run a program with Flair. It's funny how Flair insisted in his book that "what was best for the wrestling business is best for Ric Flair." But we have JR here pointing out how political Flair was in protecting his spot. I'm not suprised, just fascinated after reading Flair's book last month.
Another discrepancy from Flair's book compared to JR here. Flair placed all the blame for the "Black Scorpion" angle on Jim Herd. In Flairs book, he said "Jim Herd knew what he was doing," implying that Herd used the Black Scorpion angle to hurt everyone involved and make them all look bad. But JR points out how it was 100% Ole Anderson's idea, and even Ole's voice when they needed The Black Scorpion to talk in a promo package. JR remembers asking Ole what the endgame is for the angle and Ole made it clear he didn't have one and they would figure it out when they got there.
JR does point out how much Flair openly hated the angle and how Flair wanted nothing to do with it. Ultimately Ole put his foot down and ordered Flair to go our there and reveal himself as the Black Scorpion.
JR met his future wife Jan on a plane ride with Ric Flair. Jan was their flight attendant and had to deal with Flair hitting on her the whole flight. When JR readied his business card for her as the plane landed, Flair was trying to talk him out of it, saying that JR didn't stand a chance if she wasn't interested in Flair. To both of their suprise, Jan handed JR her own business card and told him to call her.
Having read his second book which delves into her heartbreaking death, I can confidently say that JR's love for Jan is truly next level and it's so fucking sad how their story ends. The link for the 2nd book report will have more on that and spoiler warning, it made me openly weep and ugly cry. Not many wrestling books have ever made me cry before, let alone bawling to the point where I had to put the book down.
In 1990, Paul Heyman clashed with Ric Flair to the point where JR says that "Flair had Paul sent home" where he sat for 6 months. Heyman says he was still under contract but not getting paid, and JR worked to bring him back as a mananager. Heyman initially said no but then asked who he would be managing. When JR said "Mean" Mark Calloway, Paul said "Oh, he's money." before accepting.
JR says none of the WCW office wanted Paul Heyman back, JR even quoted Jim Barnett as saying "What if we brought him back and beat the shit out of him on air? That would shut him up." JR says Paul Hayman once called Jim Barnett "a flamboyant, evil son of a bitch; a cross between Truman Capote and Darth Vader."
JR pushed for Paul Heyman to have a bigger role and broadcast alongside of him, and always asked Heyman to drive. That was because JR had his drivers liscence suspended after a 2nd DUI.
JR has high praise for his chemistry with Paul Heyman on commentary, saying they always knew what the other one was doing.
JR remembers how Ole Anderson said Marl Calloway would "never draw a dime." JR says he advised Mark to head to WWF and soon after JR saw him debut on WWF TV as The Undertaker.
JR heard Ole Anderson was fired as booker, but he also heard that Ole had quit. So he isn't really sure. Either way, Dusty Rhodes was brought back in to replace him.
JR got to do commentary with Dusty Rhodes and calls him one of the easiest guys he ever worked with.
JR says Jim Herd angrily told him one day that Flair was gone from the company. Then, JR remembers Herd asking if JR had ever heard of someone leaving with the championship belt. When JR asked why, Herd said "No reason."
JR thinks Herd didn't even know about the $25,000 deposit Flair had put on the belt. JR doesn't go into detail, but according to Flair, the bone of contention came down to how Flair was a 10 time champion and never asked for the money back between title reigns, so he felt he was owed interest. Flair claims to have gotten that extra cash ontop of the 25 grand.
JR says Jim Herd quit shortly after Flair left, citing frustrations with Dusty Rhodes and WCW office. Herd was replaced by K. Allen Frey, someone with a law degree who knew nothing of wrestling. JR says he was easily manipulated by the roster and didn't know how to manage them.
JR says K. Allen Frey was the first to introduce WCW's guaranteed contracts.
JR expands on this more in his second book, but he doest express regret for how poor a broadcast partner he was to Jesse Ventura in 1992. JR was jealous of how much Jesse got paid and purposely made it difficult for Jesse when they called matches together.
JR says K. Allen Frey resigned in frustration in May 1992 and JR decided he should try for the job. JR was shocked when he went to pitch his name, but instead found "Cowboy" Bill Watts has already secured the job.
JR says Watts was hired with the expectation of cutting costs across the board and got a bad reputation with the wrestlers from the start.
JR says he got heat from the wrestlers because JR was knows a "Watts guy" but he didn't warn anyone Watts was coming in.
JR doesn't go into much detail with Watts time in WCW, possibly out of respect, but does say Watts had "unpopular ideas" and was angry a lot at work. JR said he knew from the start that Watts wouldn't have worked long term in that role.
In Flair's book, he said he was mortified by Bill Watts "old school" behavior in the WCW offices, saying he was shocked to find Watts at the Turner offices wearing workout pants and tshirts, putting his boss Bill Shaw in a headlock, laughing at everyone else wearing suits and not taking it seriously.
JR doesn't go into detail on why Watts was fired, but does the same thing Flair did in his book on the subject, pointing out how Watts had pushed several black wrestlers in the past like Junkyard Dog and Ron Simmons, and how Watts "wasn't a racist".
The incident that JR doesn't go into detail on is that Watts did an interview where he said, "If you own a buisness why shouldn't you be able to discriminate? Why should I have to hire a f@g if I don't like f@gs? If I don't wanna sell fried chicken to blacks, I shouldn't have to. It's my restaurant." Watts resigned shortly after when his boss Bill Shaw questioned him on it.
JR says being known as a "Watts guy" essentially killed his career at WCW and ostracized him after Watts did that interview.
JR has nothing nice to say about Bill Shaw in the book, and suspects he had hand sanitizers installed at the WCW offices so he could "wash the stench off" when he left.
Eric Bishoff was named Watts replacement, and JR thinks it's because Bishoff sold himself as the opposite of a wrestling guy, who Turner were tired of dealing with. In Flair's book, he says that Ole Anderson was in contention for this job again and that Flair's recommendation gave it to Bishoff. In Bruce Hart's book, he claims to have interviewed for the job as well and came up in 2nd place.
JR says Eric Bishoff made it clear he didn't want JR calling his shows.
Bill Shaw decided to punish JR for being a "Watts guy" by making him decide between being suspended with pay for 6 weeks and taking a more prominent office job or just handing in his resignation. JR took the vacation and the office job, where he said he got to do some broadcasting jobs on the side as well. But he was removed from doing the thing he loved most in the business.
JR says he did a weekly report for a WCW 900 number which made a "small fortune" that he never saw a dime of.
After being asked one too many times why he wasn't on TV anymore and feeling humiliated, JR quit WCW and decided to try his hand in the WWF.
JR called Bruce Pritchard, whom he knew from their days together in Mid-South. JR notes how Bill Watts never liked Bruce, but Bruce did get JR a meeting with Vince McMahon. Vince said he couldn't match WCW salary, but he could get close and offered JR a 50 grand signing bonus.
After WCW had moved reassigned JR's position, they technically voided out the contract so JR was allowed to jump to WWF immediately and with no issues.
JR had operated a small radio show for years in which he used to promote WCW. When he signed with WWF he got Vince McMahon to do an episode with him and he remembers the WCW office freaking out. They thought they owned the radio show and were shocked to find JR owned 100% of it and could do as he pleased.
JR's first show was Wrestlemania 9 where he called the show alongside Randy Savage and Bobby Heenan. JR says Randy was "challenging to work with" but notes how he doesn't mean that as a negative. JR has huge praise for Bobby Heenan and says he was easy to work with all the time.
JR says Vince hired him without telling anyone and that he found he was pretty unpopular right off the bat backstage.
JR became the driver for Gorilla Monsoon. JR has nothing but positives on Monsoon, but notes how in the 10 months since his son died, Gorilla had deteriorated a bit.
JR says Lord Alfred Hayes treated him poorly from the start, until he was smartened up by Gorilla who always had JR's back. JR also notes Bobby Heenan as being a good friend from the start.
JR remembers one time Randy Savage was ribbed by someone into thinking JR was responsible for his fucked up schedule and bookings. So Savage grabbed JR and threatened to beat him up until Gorilla Monsoon made the save.
JR married Jan on October 13, 1993 and he calls it the best day of his life.
JR says it was Vince's idea for him to start wearing a cowboy hat.
JR remembers not getting much broadcast work the first 6 months in WWF, and was wondering if something was wrong.
In early 1994 JR got his first Bell's palsy attack which left half his face paralyzed. He was told by the doctor he should recover in 6 - 8 weeks.
2 weeks after his Bell's palsy attack, JR was told by head of human resources that he has to come into the office asap. His face was still paralyzed and when he sat down with Vince, the head of human resources was also there. With 4 months left on his contract, JR was fired right then and there. Vince just told him that JR was no longer in the company's plans.
JR met with Eric Bishoff who straight up told him that WCW would not be hiring him back.
Jim Cornette paid JR $300 to come tape two one-hour shows for his new promotion, Smokey Mountain Wrestling. Between the drive and everything else, it sounds like JR didn't really make any money but he enjoyed doing it.
WWF called JR back to work while Vince dealt with the steroid trial, but that wrapped up quicker than expected. With Vince back, JR was out again since Vince was the lead broadcaster on RAW.
JR did on and off work for Jim Cornette in Smokey Mountain Wrestling, but knew he wanted back in the WWF.
Four months later in mid-late 1994, Vince called JR and offered him the position of JJ Dillon's assistant in Talent Relations. JR immediately accepted.
Vince told JR he was not hiring him as an on air talent and JR was not to leverage his position into being one. JR accepted that his on-air career was done and committed 100% to learning from JJ Dillon in talent relations.
JR says soon he was producing Vince every RAW and was the voice in his ear during the show.
JR has a wildnstory about riding with Vince, who was doing 90 miles an hour and literally dancing in his seat or taking his eyes off the road to scare JR.
JR says Vince gave him the "Good Ol' J.R." nickname and JR really didn't seem to like it or wearing a cowboy hat.
In 1995, JR says "Cowboy" Bill Watts was brought on to oversee the wrestling shows while Vince was transitioning into more of an executive role.
Bill Watts wanted to give the name "Buck Johnson" to the young rookie Tony Norris. Vince McMahon apparently viewed this as Bill trying to recreat Junkyard Dogg or Ernie Ladd, overruled this decision. Vince decided to go with the name "Ahmed Johnson."
Bill Watts only lasted a couple of weeks before clashing with that same head of talent relations who would have him removed from the company.
JJ Dillon would often send JR to meet with potential new talents to gage their personality. One such talent was a young Dwayne Johnson, who told JR in that first meeting "I'm going to be your top guy one day."
JR remembers how a big part of his and JJ Dillon's job revolved around dealing with talent issues caused by the Kliq. (Shawn Michaels, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Triple H) JR says he would often just talk to Triple H about the issue, since he was easiest to deal with.
JR suspects Vince saw a bit of himself in the Kilq and that may explain why he gave them sow much leeway.
In July 1995, JR was randomly put back on tv, doing color commentary with Jerry Lawler and Vince McMahon, with no explanation ever given to JR.
JR puts over his 3 man booth with Vince and Lawler, saying he had fun doing it. And JR says it was a blast to do commentary work with Curt Hennig, who helped JR navigate away from terms and talking points that Vince hates.
JR knew the fake Diesel and fake Razor characters were dead on arrival.
JR says his "shoot" promo about being fired for having Bell's palsy was all Vince's idea and that Vonce thought JR did a great job with it.
In 1996, JJ Dillon quit after getting a pay cut but given more responsibilities. Dillon also had a special needs son at home, whom JJ wanted to focus more time on. Bruce Pritchard was offered the talent relations role, and JR remembers Bruce being very scared and hesitant to accept it.
JR says Bruce didn't last an even short amount of time in the role before Vince put him back on the creative team. Vince then offered JR the role of "Senior Vice President of Talent Relations" and gave JR full autonomy on hiring any talent he wanted. Vince told JR "I trust your judgement completely."
JR took over the payroll side of things for Vince too, and after that freed up a lot of time, JR says Vince's wife Linda McMahon hugged JR and thanked him for giving her husband his weekends back to spend with her.
While filming vignets at Bret Hart's home, JR says a bored Stu put JR in a hold and nearly choked the life out of JR.
JR notes how Bret Hart was often late and that reminds me how Bret said in his book that when negotiating a contract with WCW, he got in writing that he could he late sometimes.
JR says his only issue with the Hart/HBK Mania Iron Man match, is that the sudden death/ overtime concept was never spoke about prior to the show and he felt it came out of left field.
JR says Roddy Piper was a "little high maintenance." JR remembers how emotional Roddy got when he asked and was given Ford Bronco they used in his Wrestlemania match with Goldust in 1996.
JR says Goldust/ Dusty Rhodes was his first major recruites.
JR remembers how they tired to reposition Brian Pilman into a broadcaster after his bad motorcycle wreck that permanently fucked up his ankle. But Pilman insisted on being a wrestler and it wasn't long before JR was getting reports of Pilman passing out backstage at shows and acting irrationally. They eventually drug tested him and found he needed serious help.
JR remembers sending Vader and Yokozuna to weight rehab to get them healthier. Both would pay off orderleys for food or sneak out to fast food joints. JR says Vader eventually got to make return but they had to fire Yokozuna, who would die just a couple months later.
When JR brought Mick Foley in, he remembers Vince allowing him to do so because he wanted JR to "learn how it feels to have your heartbroken" and said Foley was the shits.
JR remembers how Steve Austin was pissed following his famous "3:16" promo because he was being paid peanuts. JR went to Vince and they agreed to tear uo Austin's contract and offer him a much better one.
JR finally gave in and started wearing the cowboy hat at the Royal Rumble 1997 ppv. He didnt want to admit it, but he felt it immediately completed his look and character.
When Owen Hart accidentally broke Stone Cold's neck, JR made sure he was sitting at Steve's bed when he woke up.
JR says Owen Hart was guilt ridden over this and often asked JR for updates on Austin's health, but thinks Owen didn't know how to properly reach out to Steve and thinks Owen was ashamed.
JR remembers being devastated when Brian Pillman passed in fall of 1997. On the plane ride after the funeral, Vonce said to JR, "When I said you were going to get your heart broken. I meant to not get too close to the boys." JR says Linda McMahon gave him a similar warning, "Don't get too close to the flame."
JR says that once it became clear Bret Hart was leaving, JR's responsibility ended and as talent relations, he stopped needed to work with Bret. He says he was 100% not involved in the Montreal Screwjob.
JR remembers him and Jerry Lawler looking at each other in shock as the Screwjob happened.
Immediately after the match and show ended, JR says Vince McMahon ordered JR lock himself in Vince's office for his own safety. He sat and heard the commotion next door between Bret and Vince. Eventually, Vince was helped by his son Shane and Sgt Slaughter. They all sat in silence for a few minutes before Vince said to no one in particular, "I had to let him have a free shot. I owed him that much."
JR says he once asked Vince what the difference was between the real Vince McMahon and the tv character Mr McMahon, and Vince struggled to think of an example.
JR said he hated the Brawl For All concept immediately.
JR says that after he pushed to sign Dr. Death Steve Williams, it was used against him after Dr. Death suffered a bad injury in the Brawl For All.
JR says when they eventually had to let Dr. Death go, that this strained their 20-year friendship. Dr. Death thought he never got a fair shot in the WWF.
JR says most of the boys in the back assumed JR pushed for the Butterbean vs. Bart Gunn match as revenge for Bartt knocking out Dr Death. JR vehemently denies this and says if he was asked, he would have pushed against the match.
JR says Butterbean wanted to get into wrestling and asked JR before his Mania match if anyone would be upset if he knocked out Bart Gunn in the first round. JR told Butterbean to treat it like a real competition but secretly mocked the idea of Butterbean not taking Bart Gunn seriously.
JR says a lof the boys bet on the fight, and most had Bart Gunn picked to win. JR and everyone else were shocked to when Butterbean KO'd Gunn in under 40 seconds.
JR says he legit thought Mick Foley died at the 1998 King of the Ring ppv when Undertaker threw him from the top of the cell. JR says all his words, and there are 100% real.
JR says he had a serious talk a few days later with Mick Foley about never doing that again and how Foley can't support his family if he is crippled.
In December 1998, JR was oversees with WWF when he found out his mom died. He opted to stay on the tour and do the shows. The next night, however, as he called the show with Jerry, he was hit with a 2nd Bell's palsy attack, and this time, it was worse. He powered through the show and made it home where Vince set up an appointment for JR to get checked out.
JR spent weeks at home, depressed from losing his mom, and suffering from Bell's palsy. Half of JR's face was sagging now, and he was convinced his on-airncareer was over. He moped around for weeks until Vince sent him a hand written letter, essentially telling him to get the fuck back to work, how much Vince loved/ respected JR and that there was a $5000 cheque waiting for JR on his desk at work.
JR says he briefly tried being an on-air heel managing Dr. Death, but JR calls that a disastrous attempt, and he was coming back too soon.
JR says that both Stone Cold and The Rock personally requested he call their 1999 Wrestlemania match, and so Vince randomly told JR to buy a suit because he would be calling the main event.
The book ends with JR being optimistic about his future behind the broadcast booth, calling matches.
His second book details 1999 -2019, and it'd be a very good read. It will make you hate Vince McMahon and break your heart when it comes to how his wife Jan passed away.
Jim Ross 2nd book

I wish I could read people's minds so bad, I'm desperate to know in great detail what everyone thinks of me, but at the same time I'm too afraid. Im too scared of being judged, I try to seem like I don't care about what others think of me, but I do a lil too much, I still remember when a teacher called me a brat in 3rd grade when i accidentally bumped into her and couldn't say sorry cause i was in a hurry, I still remember what every friend has described me like, I still remember how my family looks at me like since I was 5, I remember every embarrassing moment In my life, it seems silly, but I can't sleep at night because I keep remembering how one guy asked what floor i was on and I said 8th. He meant my class. I still remember when I fell in mud in 4th grade and my whole back was covered in it, I went to school like that because I couldn't tell since it was a snowy day. I miss snow, I always liked playing in it, but i was too scared to touch it when it was freshly laid, it seemed so perfect, but Id ruin it if I used it for myself, I always end up ruining everything, the snowman wouldn't turn out great either way. I wish I had something I could be proud of, I wish I had a cutie mark so I'd know what my life's purpose is, people say it's in lil things, like the sunlight in the morning when it touches your face, when a butterfly lays on you, and so on. I wish those moments lasted. I can never find one emotion that stays for over seconds, my mood always changes, Im Impulsive and I often don't understand myself either, how am I suppose to communicate about it, I always found communication hard, but I was simply a kid. I picked up anything others dropped towards me, I mirrored everyone, I tried to be pleasing to everyone I met, I ended up being used to please them. I know nobody actually likes me, everyone has an idea of me, expectations, hope. But I'll never be able to meet them. I'm not whatever they want me to be, Im not whatever I want to be. I can never fit into any boxes. I'm too scared the box will mold around me. Destroy it, till there's only tiny pieces left, and there's no more box for anyone to fit me in, I'll end up getting the mold on myself, I'll be responsible for destroying it, even tho I didn't do anything. It always ends up like that, just cause I'm like that. I wish I could be someone else, I want to be able to do the things others do, but the thing is, I don't want to. I want to want it. I want to be able to enjoy doing it, I know if I tried I might be able to do those things, but I'll be just fitting myself into another box, till it molds around me, drips apart. And makes me drip apart with it. I can never settle and stay into one thing, but I can't settle into multiple things at the same time either. It's too much for me, I wish I was able to take that too, everything about me is either too much or too less. Wish I could be satisfied with one thing Wish I could handle more things Wish I could function normally. I know many others go through worse, far worse. But I don't think others feelings are invalid because of that, everyone has problems, everyone should be able to presive them like how important they are. If we look at others, how bad they are, it'll only raise our ego or think we don't deserve to be paid attention to, we don't matter as much. If we look at others, how good they have it, it'll grow into jealously, it'll grow, and we won't be able to. No matter how hard you try, there will always be someone that has better or worse then you, you'll never be satisfied with what you have. You'll never appreciate, you'll never try to do better. What's truly better for you. Others influence a lot on a person, I don't think someone's truly born evil, bad, there's no good and bad people, there's no white and black, everyone's a shade of gray. It depends how much dark and light will be added to them by others. I wish I could tell. I wish I could tell what shade of gray people are, I wish I could know people's thoughts, I wish I could know what people think of me. I wish I knew why I'm so desperate, why I have this need, maybe I'm afraid I'm not good enough, maybe I'm too scared that they'll leave, maybe I'm just too curious about what's going on in people's heads, people are so interesting, even tho I hate them, they never not find a way to amuse me, they're so different and so alike, there's almost no original experience, even tho many are effected and influenced by others, it's so surprising that us as kids played the same way, fooled around the same way, thought the same way, like holding onto something to jump super high, going down on the stairs with our hands. I'm curious how they formed those thoughts. On their own. I guess it's just about trying out many things yourself, it's like we were spawned with the same settings, but others around us are changing it to fit their way. Even tho I hate kids, I find them so amusing. I'm curious about how they function, how they perfom those thoughts, without even knowing a language to think with, do they just experience emotions? How do we think? It's silly, everyone knows you iust.. think But how exactly, there's a voice, but there's no voice. While looking at people I can tell a voice in them. But there's no voice. Is it just our emotions fit into words? There's probably much better explanations, I'm not a scientist or a philosophist, I dont even know if philosophist is the correct way to say it, I'm just a person, left with my own thoughts. Maybe it's not, maybe my thoughts aren't my own, maybe I'm not a person at all, this could all be a dream, we could be in someone else's dream. There's endless possibilities and explanations. But there's no way to be sure in anything, there's no correct way of anything, they're just shades of gray. I wonder why essays have to be in a certain form, they're opinions, thoughts that were formed outside the box, why should they be put in a box, why should they be molded into someone else's way. I wonder why are schools so..so...I'm not sure, putting everything in boxes? Everyone into boxes. Why do we have to have the same opinions, thoughts, why are they changing our settings into one same thing. It's not usually for the better, or worse. They're just a standard, how everyone should think. This is stupid. I know why essays are formed that way, I know the function. But do I? My settings could be changed already. I don't know what they were before, my memory isn't great. Most of my memories are kept by photos, I love photos. Capturing a moment, a memory. Maybe not the feelings, you might not remember what you felt like that time, how it actually was, what was out of the frame. But you have the ability to form new thoughts on what's into the frame. You'll never go back to your old self, the past, after every second is the past. It seems scary. How the time passes. How you don't think you actually used that time wisely, you might look back. And think it was all a waste. But if you truly enjoyed it in the past. If your past self was happy with it. I don't think it was really a waste, you might have used it differently now, but your future self could think the same way about what you're doing right now. It's in the little things, life's about little things in life, it's about change, everyone and everything is constantly changing. I'm scared of change, i can't handle change. It's scary. Knowing you don't know what's gonna be next. You don't know what's gonna be change. But you're already experiencing change. But it may be moving too slow. Maybe I'm scared of fast change, the way it's coming right at me like a train. The way I know I can't do anything to change it. It's silly. Changing the change. Maybe I'm the one responsible for it. Everyone is. They're constantly trying to fit everything into their way. The world's to small for that. The way everyone is effecting everyone and everything. I find people amusing. Even tho I hate them. Guessing their little stories. Their life stories. The little things in their lives. How they've influenced others. How they've been influenced. What made them the way they are. What's going on in their heads to be acting like that. It could be impulses. The silly thoughts our brains throw at us sometimes, like a fast train. Maybe it wants change too. I wonder. I wonder what's going on in their brains, why it's going on, what are they thinking about. What are they thinking about me. How they view me. I wish I knew. Maybe I wouldn't be so afraid of change then. Or maybe it's all a dream.

I wish I could read people's minds so bad, I'm desperate to know in great detail what everyone thinks of me, but at the same time I'm too afraid. Im too scared of being judged, I try to seem like I don't care about what others think of me, but I do a lil too much, I still remember when a teacher called me a brat in 3rd grade when i accidentally bumped into her and couldn't say sorry cause i was in a hurry, I still remember what every friend has described me like, I still remember how my family looks at me like since I was 5, I remember every embarrassing moment In my life, it seems silly, but I can't sleep at night because I keep remembering how one guy asked what floor i was on and I said 8th. He meant my class. I still remember when I fell in mud in 4th grade and my whole back was covered in it, I went to school like that because I couldn't tell since it was a snowy day. I miss snow, I always liked playing in it, but i was too scared to touch it when it was freshly laid, it seemed so perfect, but Id ruin it if I used it for myself, I always end up ruining everything, the snowman wouldn't turn out great either way. I wish I had something I could be proud of, I wish I had a cutie mark so I'd know what my life's purpose is, people say it's in lil things, like the sunlight in the morning when it touches your face, when a butterfly lays on you, and so on. I wish those moments lasted. I can never find one emotion that stays for over seconds, my mood always changes, Im Impulsive and I often don't understand myself either, how am I suppose to communicate about it, I always found communication hard, but I was simply a kid. I picked up anything others dropped towards me, I mirrored everyone, I tried to be pleasing to everyone I met, I ended up being used to please them. I know nobody actually likes me, everyone has an idea of me, expectations, hope. But I'll never be able to meet them. I'm not whatever they want me to be, Im not whatever I want to be. I can never fit into any boxes. I'm too scared the box will mold around me. Destroy it, till there's only tiny pieces left, and there's no more box for anyone to fit me in, I'll end up getting the mold on myself, I'll be responsible for destroying it, even tho I didn't do anything. It always ends up like that, just cause I'm like that. I wish I could be someone else, I want to be able to do the things others do, but the thing is, I don't want to. I want to want it. I want to be able to enjoy doing it, I know if I tried I might be able to do those things, but I'll be just fitting myself into another box, till it molds around me, drips apart. And makes me drip apart with it. I can never settle and stay into one thing, but I can't settle into multiple things at the same time either. It's too much for me, I wish I was able to take that too, everything about me is either too much or too less. Wish I could be satisfied with one thing Wish I could handle more things Wish I could function normally. I know many others go through worse, far worse. But I don't think others feelings are invalid because of that, everyone has problems, everyone should be able to presive them like how important they are. If we look at others, how bad they are, it'll only raise our ego or think we don't deserve to be paid attention to, we don't matter as much. If we look at others, how good they have it, it'll grow into jealously, it'll grow, and we won't be able to. No matter how hard you try, there will always be someone that has better or worse then you, you'll never be satisfied with what you have. You'll never appreciate, you'll never try to do better. What's truly better for you. Others influence a lot on a person, I don't think someone's truly born evil, bad, there's no good and bad people, there's no white and black, everyone's a shade of gray. It depends how much dark and light will be added to them by others. I wish I could tell. I wish I could tell what shade of gray people are, I wish I could know people's thoughts, I wish I could know what people think of me. I wish I knew why I'm so desperate, why I have this need, maybe I'm afraid I'm not good enough, maybe I'm too scared that they'll leave, maybe I'm just too curious about what's going on in people's heads, people are so interesting, even tho I hate them, they never not find a way to amuse me, they're so different and so alike, there's almost no original experience, even tho many are effected and influenced by others, it's so surprising that us as kids played the same way, fooled around the same way, thought the same way, like holding onto something to jump super high, going down on the stairs with our hands. I'm curious how they formed those thoughts. On their own. I guess it's just about trying out many things yourself, it's like we were spawned with the same settings, but others around us are changing it to fit their way. Even tho I hate kids, I find them so amusing. I'm curious about how they function, how they perfom those thoughts, without even knowing a language to think with, do they just experience emotions? How do we think? It's silly, everyone knows you iust.. think But how exactly, there's a voice, but there's no voice. While looking at people I can tell a voice in them. But there's no voice. Is it just our emotions fit into words? There's probably much better explanations, I'm not a scientist or a philosophist, I dont even know if philosophist is the correct way to say it, I'm just a person, left with my own thoughts. Maybe it's not, maybe my thoughts aren't my own, maybe I'm not a person at all, this could all be a dream, we could be in someone else's dream. There's endless possibilities and explanations. But there's no way to be sure in anything, there's no correct way of anything, they're just shades of gray. I wonder why essays have to be in a certain form, they're opinions, thoughts that were formed outside the box, why should they be put in a box, why should they be molded into someone else's way. I wonder why are schools so..so...I'm not sure, putting everything in boxes? Everyone into boxes. Why do we have to have the same opinions, thoughts, why are they changing our settings into one same thing. It's not usually for the better, or worse. They're just a standard, how everyone should think. This is stupid. I know why essays are formed that way, I know the function. But do I? My settings could be changed already. I don't know what they were before, my memory isn't great. Most of my memories are kept by photos, I love photos. Capturing a moment, a memory. Maybe not the feelings, you might not remember what you felt like that time, how it actually was, what was out of the frame. But you have the ability to form new thoughts on what's into the frame. You'll never go back to your old self, the past, after every second is the past. It seems scary. How the time passes. How you don't think you actually used that time wisely, you might look back. And think it was all a waste. But if you truly enjoyed it in the past. If your past self was happy with it. I don't think it was really a waste, you might have used it differently now, but your future self could think the same way about what you're doing right now. It's in the little things, life's about little things in life, it's about change, everyone and everything is constantly changing. I'm scared of change, i can't handle change. It's scary. Knowing you don't know what's gonna be next. You don't know what's gonna be change. But you're already experiencing change. But it may be moving too slow. Maybe I'm scared of fast change, the way it's coming right at me like a train. The way I know I can't do anything to change it. It's silly. Changing the change. Maybe I'm the one responsible for it. Everyone is. They're constantly trying to fit everything into their way. The world's to small for that. The way everyone is effecting everyone and everything. I find people amusing. Even tho I hate them. Guessing their little stories. Their life stories. The little things in their lives. How they've influenced others. How they've been influenced. What made them the way they are. What's going on in their heads to be acting like that. It could be impulses. The silly thoughts our brains throw at us sometimes, like a fast train. Maybe it wants change too. I wonder. I wonder what's going on in their brains, why it's going on, what are they thinking about. What are they thinking about me. How they view me. I wish I knew. Maybe I wouldn't be so afraid of change then. Or maybe it's all a dream.

I wish I could read people's minds so bad, I'm desperate to know in great detail what everyone thinks of me, but at the same time I'm too afraid. Im too scared of being judged, I try to seem like I don't care about what others think of me, but I do a lil too much, I still remember when a teacher called me a brat in 3rd grade when i accidentally bumped into her and couldn't say sorry cause i was in a hurry, I still remember what every friend has described me like, I still remember how my family looks at me like since I was 5, I remember every embarrassing moment In my life, it seems silly, but I can't sleep at night because I keep remembering how one guy asked what floor i was on and I said 8th. He meant my class. I still remember when I fell in mud in 4th grade and my whole back was covered in it, I went to school like that because I couldn't tell since it was a snowy day. I miss snow, I always liked playing in it, but i was too scared to touch it when it was freshly laid, it seemed so perfect, but Id ruin it if I used it for myself, I always end up ruining everything, the snowman wouldn't turn out great either way. I wish I had something I could be proud of, I wish I had a cutie mark so I'd know what my life's purpose is, people say it's in lil things, like the sunlight in the morning when it touches your face, when a butterfly lays on you, and so on. I wish those moments lasted. I can never find one emotion that stays for over seconds, my mood always changes, Im Impulsive and I often don't understand myself either, how am I suppose to communicate about it, I always found communication hard, but I was simply a kid. I picked up anything others dropped towards me, I mirrored everyone, I tried to be pleasing to everyone I met, I ended up being used to please them. I know nobody actually likes me, everyone has an idea of me, expectations, hope. But I'll never be able to meet them. I'm not whatever they want me to be, Im not whatever I want to be. I can never fit into any boxes. I'm too scared the box will mold around me. Destroy it, till there's only tiny pieces left, and there's no more box for anyone to fit me in, I'll end up getting the mold on myself, I'll be responsible for destroying it, even tho I didn't do anything. It always ends up like that, just cause I'm like that. I wish I could be someone else, I want to be able to do the things others do, but the thing is, I don't want to. I want to want it. I want to be able to enjoy doing it, I know if I tried I might be able to do those things, but I'll be just fitting myself into another box, till it molds around me, drips apart. And makes me drip apart with it. I can never settle and stay into one thing, but I can't settle into multiple things at the same time either. It's too much for me, I wish I was able to take that too, everything about me is either too much or too less. Wish I could be satisfied with one thing Wish I could handle more things Wish I could function normally. I know many others go through worse, far worse. But I don't think others feelings are invalid because of that, everyone has problems, everyone should be able to presive them like how important they are. If we look at others, how bad they are, it'll only raise our ego or think we don't deserve to be paid attention to, we don't matter as much. If we look at others, how good they have it, it'll grow into jealously, it'll grow, and we won't be able to. No matter how hard you try, there will always be someone that has better or worse then you, you'll never be satisfied with what you have. You'll never appreciate, you'll never try to do better. What's truly better for you. Others influence a lot on a person, I don't think someone's truly born evil, bad, there's no good and bad people, there's no white and black, everyone's a shade of gray. It depends how much dark and light will be added to them by others. I wish I could tell. I wish I could tell what shade of gray people are, I wish I could know people's thoughts, I wish I could know what people think of me. I wish I knew why I'm so desperate, why I have this need, maybe I'm afraid I'm not good enough, maybe I'm too scared that they'll leave, maybe I'm just too curious about what's going on in people's heads, people are so interesting, even tho I hate them, they never not find a way to amuse me, they're so different and so alike, there's almost no original experience, even tho many are effected and influenced by others, it's so surprising that us as kids played the same way, fooled around the same way, thought the same way, like holding onto something to jump super high, going down on the stairs with our hands. I'm curious how they formed those thoughts. On their own. I guess it's just about trying out many things yourself, it's like we were spawned with the same settings, but others around us are changing it to fit their way. Even tho I hate kids, I find them so amusing. I'm curious about how they function, how they perfom those thoughts, without even knowing a language to think with, do they just experience emotions? How do we think? It's silly, everyone knows you iust.. think But how exactly, there's a voice, but there's no voice. While looking at people I can tell a voice in them. But there's no voice. Is it just our emotions fit into words? There's probably much better explanations, I'm not a scientist or a philosophist, I dont even know if philosophist is the correct way to say it, I'm just a person, left with my own thoughts. Maybe it's not, maybe my thoughts aren't my own, maybe I'm not a person at all, this could all be a dream, we could be in someone else's dream. There's endless possibilities and explanations. But there's no way to be sure in anything, there's no correct way of anything, they're just shades of gray. I wonder why essays have to be in a certain form, they're opinions, thoughts that were formed outside the box, why should they be put in a box, why should they be molded into someone else's way. I wonder why are schools so..so...I'm not sure, putting everything in boxes? Everyone into boxes. Why do we have to have the same opinions, thoughts, why are they changing our settings into one same thing. It's not usually for the better, or worse. They're just a standard, how everyone should think. This is stupid. I know why essays are formed that way, I know the function. But do I? My settings could be changed already. I don't know what they were before, my memory isn't great. Most of my memories are kept by photos, I love photos. Capturing a moment, a memory. Maybe not the feelings, you might not remember what you felt like that time, how it actually was, what was out of the frame. But you have the ability to form new thoughts on what's into the frame. You'll never go back to your old self, the past, after every second is the past. It seems scary. How the time passes. How you don't think you actually used that time wisely, you might look back. And think it was all a waste. But if you truly enjoyed it in the past. If your past self was happy with it. I don't think it was really a waste, you might have used it differently now, but your future self could think the same way about what you're doing right now. It's in the little things, life's about little things in life, it's about change, everyone and everything is constantly changing. I'm scared of change, i can't handle change. It's scary. Knowing you don't know what's gonna be next. You don't know what's gonna be change. But you're already experiencing change. But it may be moving too slow. Maybe I'm scared of fast change, the way it's coming right at me like a train. The way I know I can't do anything to change it. It's silly. Changing the change. Maybe I'm the one responsible for it. Everyone is. They're constantly trying to fit everything into their way. The world's to small for that. The way everyone is effecting everyone and everything. I find people amusing. Even tho I hate them. Guessing their little stories. Their life stories. The little things in their lives. How they've influenced others. How they've been influenced. What made them the way they are. What's going on in their heads to be acting like that. It could be impulses. The silly thoughts our brains throw at us sometimes, like a fast train. Maybe it wants change too. I wonder. I wonder what's going on in their brains, why it's going on, what are they thinking about. What are they thinking about me. How they view me. I wish I knew. Maybe I wouldn't be so afraid of change then.

I wish I could read people's minds so bad, I'm desperate to know in great detail what everyone thinks of me, but at the same time I'm too afraid. Im too scared of being judged, I try to seem like I don't care about what others think of me, but I do a lil too much, I still remember when a teacher called me a brat in 3rd grade when i accidentally bumped into her and couldn't say sorry cause i was in a hurry, I still remember what every friend has described me like, I still remember how my family looks at me like since I was 5, I remember every embarrassing moment In my life, it seems silly, but I can't sleep at night because I keep remembering how one guy asked what floor i was on and I said 8th. He meant my class. I still remember when I fell in mud in 4th grade and my whole back was covered in it, I went to school like that because I couldn't tell since it was a snowy day. I miss snow, I always liked playing in it, but i was too scared to touch it when it was freshly laid, it seemed so perfect, but Id ruin it if I used it for myself, I always end up ruining everything, the snowman wouldn't turn out great either way. I wish I had something I could be proud of, I wish I had a cutie mark so I'd know what my life's purpose is, people say it's in lil things, like the sunlight in the morning when it touches your face, when a butterfly lays on you, and so on. I wish those moments lasted. I can never find one emotion that stays for over seconds, my mood always changes, Im Impulsive and I often don't understand myself either, how am I suppose to communicate about it, I always found communication hard, but I was simply a kid. I picked up anything others dropped towards me, I mirrored everyone, I tried to be pleasing to everyone I met, I ended up being used to please them. I know nobody actually likes me, everyone has an idea of me, expectations, hope. But I'll never be able to meet them. I'm not whatever they want me to be, Im not whatever I want to be. I can never fit into any boxes. I'm too scared the box will mold around me. Destroy it, till there's only tiny pieces left, and there's no more box for anyone to fit me in, I'll end up getting the mold on myself, I'll be responsible for destroying it, even tho I didn't do anything. It always ends up like that, just cause I'm like that. I wish I could be someone else, I want to be able to do the things others do, but the thing is, I don't want to. I want to want it. I want to be able to enjoy doing it, I know if I tried I might be able to do those things, but I'll be just fitting myself into another box, till it molds around me, drips apart. And makes me drip apart with it. I can never settle and stay into one thing, but I can't settle into multiple things at the same time either. It's too much for me, I wish I was able to take that too, everything about me is either too much or too less. Wish I could be satisfied with one thing Wish I could handle more things Wish I could function normally. I know many others go through worse, far worse. But I don't think others feelings are invalid because of that, everyone has problems, everyone should be able to presive them like how important they are. If we look at others, how bad they are, it'll only raise our ego or think we don't deserve to be paid attention to, we don't matter as much. If we look at others, how good they have it, it'll grow into jealously, it'll grow, and we won't be able to. No matter how hard you try, there will always be someone that has better or worse then you, you'll never be satisfied with what you have. You'll never appreciate, you'll never try to do better. What's truly better for you. Others influence a lot on a person, I don't think someone's truly born evil, bad, there's no good and bad people, there's no white and black, everyone's a shade of gray. It depends how much dark and light will be added to them by others. I wish I could tell. I wish I could tell what shade of gray people are, I wish I could know people's thoughts, I wish I could know what people think of me. I wish I knew why I'm so desperate, why I have this need, maybe I'm afraid I'm not good enough, maybe I'm too scared that they'll leave, maybe I'm just too curious about what's going on in people's heads, people are so interesting, even tho I hate them, they never not find a way to amuse me, they're so different and so alike, there's almost no original experience, even tho many are effected and influenced by others, it's so surprising that us as kids played the same way, fooled around the same way, thought the same way, like holding onto something to jump super high, going down on the stairs with our hands. I'm curious how they formed those thoughts. On their own. I guess it's just about trying out many things yourself, it's like we were spawned with the same settings, but others around us are changing it to fit their way. Even tho I hate kids, I find them so amusing. I'm curious about how they function, how they perfom those thoughts, without even knowing a language to think with, do they just experience emotions? How do we think? It's silly, everyone knows you iust.. think But how exactly, there's a voice, but there's no voice. While looking at people I can tell a voice in them. But there's no voice. Is it just our emotions fit into words? There's probably much better explanations, I'm not a scientist or a philosophist, I dont even know if philosophist is the correct way to say it, I'm just a person, left with my own thoughts. Maybe it's not, maybe my thoughts aren't my own, maybe I'm not a person at all, this could all be a dream, we could be in someone else's dream. There's endless possibilities and explanations. But there's no way to be sure in anything, there's no correct way of anything, they're just shades of gray. I wonder why essays have to be in a certain form, they're opinions, thoughts that were formed outside the box, why should they be put in a box, why should they be molded into someone else's way. I wonder why are schools so..so...I'm not sure, putting everything in boxes? Everyone into boxes. Why do we have to have the same opinions, thoughts, why are they changing our settings into one same thing. It's not usually for the better, or worse. They're just a standard, how everyone should think. This is stupid. I know why essays are formed that way, I know the function. But do I? My settings could be changed already. I don't know what they were before, my memory isn't great. Most of my memories are kept by photos, I love photos. Capturing a moment, a memory. Maybe not the feelings, you might not remember what you felt like that time, how it actually was, what was out of the frame. But you have the ability to form new thoughts on what's into the frame. You'll never go back to your old self, the past, after every second is the past. It seems scary. How the time passes. How you don't think you actually used that time wisely, you might look back. And think it was all a waste. But if you truly enjoyed it in the past. If your past self was happy with it. I don't think it was really a waste, you might have used it differently now, but your future self could think the same way about what you're doing right now. It's in the little things, life's about little things in life, it's about change, everyone and everything is constantly changing. I'm scared of change, i can't handle change. It's scary. Knowing you don't know what's gonna be next. You don't know what's gonna be change. But you're already experiencing change. But it may be moving too slow. Maybe I'm scared of fast change, the way it's coming right at me like a train. The way I know I can't do anything to change it. It's silly. Changing the change. Maybe I'm the one responsible for it. Everyone is. They're constantly trying to fit everything into their way. The world's to small for that. The way everyone is effecting everyone and everything. I find people amusing. Even tho I hate them. Guessing their little stories. Their life stories. The little things in their lives. How they've influenced others. How they've been influenced. What made them the way they are. What's going on in their heads to be acting like that. It could be impulses. The silly thoughts our brains throw at us sometimes, like a fast train. Maybe it wants change too. I wonder. I wonder what's going on in their brains, why it's going on, what are they thinking about. What are they thinking about me. How they view me. I wish I knew. Maybe I wouldn't be so afraid of change then.

Pain, potential and popcorn. At first glance it might seem like we’re playing a Game of “One of these is not like the others” but if everything in this realm is made up of one thing – itself no-thing – then it becomes obvious we’re dealing with the process of transformation. Dig:
A cloud, a lake and snowman will have vastly different ways of describing themselves and their imperience but only the one up high can see the truth of the most dense and the one in the mid, correct? Imagine basing the tale on what the one at the lowest state of vibration thinks and then link that in to the fact that we decode a tiny, tiny part of EM spectrum and make up stories based on this and the rest makes way more sense because life really is simple but ignorance complicates it as we start creating symbols to point at states then mistake the menu for meal and wonder why we’re starving and showing signs of neglect. What does that have to do with popcorn? Everything.
Imagine you were born as a cob of corn. Its you and your siblings. Life is squished as you fight for position but its also a pretty amazing feeling knowing you aren’t alone in this. Time comes, things ripen and they move on to find their way. One of your peeps ends up on a raw vegan salad and is consumed and excreted in pretty much the same shape they went in as they lie there, decomposing, ready to do it all again. The other brother has a tale to tell and it went like this:
“Man, if you ever find your Self in hell, keep going. Keep going is all I’m saying because I can’t believe the events that flipped turned inside out everything I used to think about anything in order to reveal what was always hidden within.
We grew up tough, times were tight but we connected. Then we flew the nest. I was always different. I had questions that needed answers that the world wasn’t providing. Long story short, I died. Or, to be more accurate, I was dehydrated. Water is life and there was none of it left in me. I was at the lowest point in my life and I couldn’t even weep. That was beyond me. But I knew, I knew, deep down within, that it hadn’t killed and thus must be providing strength so I turned within for my sustenance and started getting familiar with this new state of being. Thats when a different type of awareness started speaking and it said:
“What lives and never dies but can shift like the winds and yet be as solid as the earth, if it wishes?”.
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Full article:
https://willhelp.me/2024/04/01/pain-potential-and-popcorn/

I'm a German major student who has to present a contemporary Korean poem.
The poem describes the process of a snowman melting in water as su!c!de and considers the reason for life.
Is there a German poem with a similar theme to the poem? I hope I can find some of them for my presentation since I'm majoring in German now. And, I would appreciate it if you could provide the full text of those poems together.

I'm a German major student who has to present a contemporary Korean poem.
The poem describes the process of a snowman melting in water as su!c!de and considers the reason for life.
Is there a German poem with a similar theme to the poem? I hope I can find some of them for my presentation since I'm majoring in German now. And, I would appreciate it if you could provide the full text of those poems together.

The cases I want to share on here aren’t linked to one another. However, I’m not just looking at the cases themselves but moreover why some become part of our collective consciousness and some vanish, leaving nothing more than little grey ghosts where they stood for the duration of their short lives.
So for the first one, let’s go back twenty years, to the May bank holiday of 2003. Seven year old Daniel Entwistle had been playing outside with friends in the seaside town of Great Yarmouth. He didn’t return that evening, and his parents called the police at around 8pm. Daniel has never been found.
Daniel had moved from Burnley in Lancashire to Great Yarmouth in the year 2000, making him around four or five at the time of the move.
Why such a big move? It’s hard to imagine such a stark contrast: Burnley lies north of Manchester, a largely working class town with mills and factories and mountains and moors. Great Yarmouth is a seaside town in the far east of England, flat and like many seaside towns, impoverished and struggling. Sometimes families legitimately move: for work or to be closer to family. Other times, frequent moves, especially across counties, can be indicative of a family trying to leave something behind or to start anew. It isn’t clear which is the case here. However, Daniel’s dad David had been convicted for having sex with a twelve year old girl and had served a six month jail sentence in the late 1980s. It seems Daniels mother was unaware of this prior to their son going missing. Could this be part of the reason for the move? It’s possible, or it could just generally suggest a slightly chaotic background.
Daniel was last seen at a shop near his home at just gone 5pm on that day in May. It would still be light outside. Five rolled to six and to seven and at eight o clock, the police were called. That ends what we know - speculation has its place, but this really is a case where we know very little. Drowning has been tentatively raised as a possibility as Daniel’s bike was found near the river, but more likely is foul play. No suspects, no leads, no words.
Ask someone on the street to name a child who vanished and they’ll name several. Probably Madeleine McCann will be top of the list in a consensus of ten randoms. Perhaps then they’ll name Millie Dowler, Sarah Payne, Holly and Jessica perhaps. These cases are engraved into our minds and our consciousness. All these are girls. They are almost all blonde or fair haired. None come from further south than the midlands.
Now, name a boy - and people will struggle. Not because boys vanish less than girls, but because they just don’t seem to grab us in the same way.
So let’s consider another case where boys vanished. Boxing Day 1996 faded away and the black coldness of a December night descended. Nice children may have watched The Snowman and gone to bed, filled with turkey sandwiches and chocolate (it’s a one off!) and slept dreaming of the lovely day they’d had with new presents and family visits.
Patrick Warren was 11, and he was not a nice boy. Neither was his friend David Spencer, who was 13. Both lived in the troubled area of Chelmsley Wood, on the outskirts of Birmingham. Like a lot of places, Chelmsley Wood was built in a frantic response to the urgent need for housing in post war Britain, and little thought was given to infrastructure or practicalities. Houses opened out onto pedestrian pathways and tower blocks stuck their fingers up in the sky. A perfect rabbit warren for crime and anti social behaviour. Coming from a place like this can label young people - they feel they have something to live up to, or it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. David was described as ‘streetwise’, which in 1996 was synonymous with feral youth, arrogant, cocky, violent, gobby.
Do we still think that? I’d like to say no. As events proved, maybe vulnerable, in need of care, desperate for love, would be more apt. It’s really sad that we know what happened but it can’t be proved. We know the boys were out at midnight as the 26th December turned to the 27th. We know now-convicted murderer and rapist of a teenage boy in the 1960s was there - Brian Field. We know, or are almost sure, there’s no way Field could have overpowered both boys through brute strength - we know they probably went with him willingly. He’d groomed one or both, and the other trusted their friend and went along.
So - what do these cases have in common? Everything and nothing. Daniel disappeared from a seaside town on a bank holiday in late spring. It was evening, but still light. He was seven. He hasn’t been seen since and there are no obvious suspects. David and Patrick vanished on a December night in the early hours of the morning in a built up, urban area. There is a clear suspect. There is some evidence they had been groomed.
I don’t think Daniel was taken by Brian Field. My interest in the similarities between these cases focus more on the (lack of) press attention and the backgrounds of the boys. The summer before Daniel’s disappearance, two ten year old girls disappeared on a Sunday early evening - just as Daniel did - after buying sweets. The response from the nation was immediate and overwhelming. They dominated newspaper headlines and news for weeks. Why didn’t Daniel’s appearance attract that? Likewise, when we consider the press reaction when 13 year old Millie Dowler vanished, five years after David and Patrick disappeared, it raises some uncomfortable questions.
Some teenagers elicit our pity and our horror when awful things happen. Millie’s story is utterly heartbreaking and her family went through hell - from their daughters murder to their own treatment by the press - but we know her. Patrick and David, a similar age, met a no less horrendous end, but we don’t.
Some children have us falling over ourselves with collective grief and some don’t. What is it?
I think some of it is that we see girls differently to boys. Girls are vulnerable just by merit of being female. In times gone by, women needed protection by males from other males. When a girl disappears - and if she shows up at all, we discover she’s been sexually assaulted and killed - does it tap into that as a nation, that we haven’t done our duty by her?
And if they are pretty - and most girls are, indeed most children are attractive, even if only fleetingly. But Patrick and David had left childhood and were moving to or were in adolescence. Daniel had a distinctly sullen and morose look about him on his photograph, which seemed at odds with his personality. Look at photos of some of our well known victims. Half smiles, huge eyes, picture of innocence. Children with a cheeky or impish expression, or a sullen or expressionless one, don’t get half as much press attention.
And the most important thing is background. A child from a background that is troubled or dysfunctional or chaotic will barely get a second glance.
Would Daniel have been found if the press had picked up on it? I think so. Perhaps not alive, though. Misadventure is possible, but one thing these cases do show is a pattern where a child vanishes and is it possible that someone superficially normal once did something unspeakably awful and never did such a thing again, hence never coming to the attention of the police?
Not only do I think it’s possible but likely. We all know the Levi Bellfields and the Brian Fields, the Peter Tobins and Sutcliffes and the Bradys and Hindleys. But seemingly normal people around us access horrific images of children, watch terrible films and images and are aroused by them. For the most part, this desire lies dormant but then one terrible day the opportunity presents itself , as it did with Daniel.
We’ll probably never know what really happened. I hope one day we may and his killer is brought to justice.

The Puzzlevision saga is one that has gone on for well over a year by this point. It all started with SMG4, Are You Okay? before leading into the first major event of the saga: It’s Gotta Be Perfect. With that movie’s first anniversary upon us, I think it’s the perfect time to give a review of it. Of course, we need some build up for it as well. No, I’m not gonna give a full review of Mario Goes to Ohio or Mario Steals the Constitution as those episodes don’t add to this narrative too much. I’ll mention them when I need to, but that’s all. It will mostly be about It’s Gotta Be Perfect, or IGBP for short, for the most part. As always, let’s start with a not so little recap of each episode.
SMG4, Are You Okay? has SMG4 watch SMG3’s livestream. When 3 makes it a challenge stream, 4 is skeptical, but when it ends up succeeding, 4 gets majorly jealous. This is only made worse when Mr. Yeast comes in and wants to collab with 3. 4 begs 3 for help, which he does by getting on Mr. Yeast’s good side throughout the collab before asking if 4 can collab as well, which Mr. Yeast declines. This sends 4 into a frenzy for content to attract more views. He enlists Frankie to start making more videos, which makes him lose all his subs. Now even more desperate, he starts a slave factory to manufacture even more slop. 3, now aware of the fall off, cancels 4. In 4’s depressed state, 3 reveals that he only did so to stop him from digging a bigger hole. 3 then helps 4 make quality content, which causes 4 to regain his popularity and get uncanceled. However, 4 is now dead set on making the perfect video, ending the video with 4 theorizing and working on it.
After this, Mario Goes to Ohio and Mario Steals the Constitution happen. Both show 4 going more and more insane over this perfect video. Constitution in particular sets up Mario declaring it law to celebrate Mar10 Day. This will be important. As for the MDT released between then, Mario Plays Cat Mario but every time he dies the wall close in, it has 4 act completely normal. However, MDTs are in a weird state of canon or not canon. Schrödinger's MDT I suppose.
The next major development is in Mar10 Day. As stated in law, Mar10 Day must be celebrated, and that’s exactly what happens. Mario throws a big party at the castle for everyone while SMG4 rots in his room. As the party progresses, it gets to a point where Mario wants 4 to come out. He refuses, causing Mario to enlist most of his friends to help with this (heavy emphasis on most there). However, it’s no use. Mario decides to cancel the party, causing outrage until Wario takes over. Meggy doesn’t tolerate that, and so a fight breaks out. It’s brief, however, as the internet router breaks. 4 comes out of his room and screams at everyone before sending the party goers home with an all out attack, saying nobody understands the work he does. After the carnage, he locks himself in his room and starts up a livestream. This correlates with the actual livestream that happened IRL, which lasted for 100 hours.
The livestream has nothing of note besides showing 4 go even more insane. The ending leads viewers to an announcement video that details refreshed designs for 3, 4, Boopkins, and Meggy. It also serves as a trailer for the upcoming movie, It’s Gotta Be Perfect. These designs will come into play later. However, the rest is shown in the movie, so I’ll describe that when it happens.
So, now it’s time for It’s Gotta Be Perfect. It starts off with 3 and Meggy inside 4’s room, which is completely covered in black stuff and the phrase “It’s gotta be perfect.” We then flash back to the previous episodes in this saga, where it shows 4 in his new design working on his video. We see scenes that were also seen within Mario Goes to Ohio and Mario Steals the Constitution, further detailing his road to insanity about this perfect video. Last is Mar10 Day, which is the breaking point for 4. After the attack on the others, he sits back at his computer and gets a pop up ad from some little TV about a keyboard that will make his work perfect. 4 buys this without hesitation. As he begins using the new, demonic keyboard, it emits a black goo that seemingly possesses him. We then cut to 3 and Meggy once more (this is what the trailer started with), who finally manage to break into the room. We then return to where the movie started. 3 and Meggy try to get 4 to snap out of it, but the goop covers the whole room along with weird hellish tentacle stuff. After a quick fight, Meggy and 3 escape through the window, leaving 4(?) behind as the goop. Meanwhile, Mario and most of the others are looking for ways to help 4. Luigi notices the castle is engulfed in whatever the stuff the keyboard created as Meggy and 3 meet up with them. Meggy notes how the 4 she knows wouldn’t do this. Soon after, the eldritch goop attacks the others. The fight ends with Mario, 3, and Meggy are all swatted back inside the now normal castle while the others are trapped in the tentacle things. Inside, the trio head to 4’s now normal room and find a note on his computer saying that he only wants to make everyone happy. Soon after, the goop magically returns, forcing them back to the foyer. Toad is there, but he slowly turns into a giant version of that dancing Toad with long legs. He then asks if the trio like his redesign. As a fight ensues, the remaining members of the crew remain trapped besides Boopkins. Bob, out of desperation, calls the one member of the crew who isn’t there: Melony. Melony, however, is sleeping, so they’re out of luck. However, the arms throw the crew to the ground, so that doesn’t matter anymore. Swag and Chris come in soon after, ready to blow the castle up. Saiko is opposed to this so long as the others are inside while Boopkins promotes peace and love. Back inside, the trio finish off Toad, opening up the door upstairs. There, they find a bunch of signs with generic comments about how 4’s content sucks and how he fell off. 3 identifies 4 wrote them. How? Well, when he took over 4’s channel in the YouTube Arc, he understood the pressure of wanting to be perfect and how the hate can get to one’s head, causing one to go insane, showing a direct image of 3 choking 4 during WOTFI 2020. He even says running 4’s channel was the most stressful thing of his life. After the waterworks from 3, Meggy starts joking about his soft side. Insert tsundere stuff, then Mario interrupts as he looks upstairs. Instead of doing that, they instead check around for more clues, leading them to the Snowman’s Land room. The mirror there is now a clear void with recolor 4. 3 points out how 4 may want to change his design back to that, which causes said recolor to grab 3 and pull him in, turning him to a recolor as well. Meggy and Mario then run off to find 4 in hopes of saving 3. Back outside, the crew continues to defend the castle from Swag and Chris. Back inside, Mario and Meggy try heading upstairs, but are blocked by Beeg SMG4. A TV pops down along with the traditional MDT formatting. The two must react enough for views (according to Beeg SMG4) to pass. Meggy, not understanding the comedy, can’t do so. Mario does this himself, which makes Beeg SMG4 roll out of the way and allow the two to the top floor. SMG4 is now completely engulfed by the keyboard, slaving away, while 3 is an eldritch monster. Meggy and Mario beat the monster and free 3. 4 says the video is almost finished, causing the black goop to engulf the room and start pulling the trio into it. Back outside once again, the goop surrounding the castle becomes too hostile, causing Saiko and eventually Boopkins to give in and want to blow up the castle as well. Back inside once again, the trio fight to break free, but 3 takes a different approach and gives a heart to heart about 4’s fears. 3 talks about how he thought 4 had it all, but in reality, 4 only thinks he’s as valuable as his content, which made him go crazy. In the end, he still has his friends who care about him, and that’s what matters most. This frees 4, who then saves the others. However, the eldritch stuff drags 4 back in as Meggy and Mario escape. 3 goes back in to save him as the others outside blow up the castle, sinking it into the pit it was resting on. 4 gets trapped and is forced to finish the video, but 3 refuses to let him die like that, so the two finish it together. With the perfect video complete, the two escape and hang on for dear life on the edge of the pit. However, a shake in the pit causes 3 to nearly fall before 4 saves him. 4 also drops the USB with the perfect video, which is on his foot. 3 must once again show he cares about 4 as 4 decides what to save. We then cut back to the castle grounds where everyone thinks the two are gone, but the two SMGs jump out alive and well. With the castle now permanently gone, 4 once again apologizes and promises to build a new castle somehow and somewhere. The movie ends with them walking off, discussing their plans, before Meggy asks where Peach is. She, of course, is trapped in the castle still, and is rudely awakened by the sight of eldritch crap. She does her signature Karen scream before cutting to black.
Alright, with that very short summary out of the way, now we can begin with the consistency of this arc- I mean… something more than an arc… I guess… either way, the consistency within the saga is awful. 4’s jealousy at the beginning turns into an unending desire to make the perfect video. 4 is in no way a good guy here, yet during the movie, they completely 180 this into a pity party. Even worse, it’s implied 4 is possessed by the keyboard by both Meggy and his dialogue, so why should we take 3’s word about 4 redesigning Toad or writing on those signs? We simply can’t. Another example is 4’s content that he makes. In SMG4, Are You Okay? and IGBP, it’s shown that SMG4 can simply make shitposts for content. However, with the direct reference to the YouTube Arc, this throws a wrench into the logic. Why couldn’t 4 have done what 3 did then and record his friends, namely Mario, for views? The cosmology backs this up, too, with 4’s arrival and first encounter with Mario involving 4 filming Mario. And yes, SMG0 is mentioned, so the cosmology can be referenced. With Mar10 Day’s events, the fact 4 didn’t take advantage of this is too stupid for me to care about his struggles. Of course, this is only made worse with how abruptly 4 invades the Mar10 Day party in the first place. There really are no redeemable qualities about 4 until IGBP. However, when you flip it 180 as I mentioned earlier, it feels out of pocket. I don’t feel sympathy for 4 at all. And no, the demonic keyboard possessing him doesn’t make this better. His actions in Mar10 Day are all on him, and the possession was still with a negative intention. It’s very similar to Niles in that regard. There is no excuse for his actions, plain and simple, yet the way he is freed is because of 3 sucking up to 4 and saying that his life isn’t perfect. That’s another thing that makes it so hard to feel bad for 4: he has millions upon millions of subs and wants us to feel so sorry because he couldn’t make a shitpost. I understand art block can happen, but this content really isn’t that special nor impressive. I find it hard to step into his shoes here, and that completely destroys the story. 4 is a dickhead even until the end. Remember, he had to actually think about whether to save 3 or the perfect video despite him already apologizing. He does apologize later, but that doesn’t change the negative feelings you have towards 4. You don’t feel like he’s serious about his apology, which is quite ironic given the Rapper Bob Arc forces Bob to be more genuine. Of course, we don’t see if 4 upholds his promises within the movie, but it doesn’t set a good tone regardless. Once again, the consistency with 4 is nonexistent. To make it even worse, the scene where 3 truly empathizes with 4 reframes the entire YouTube Arc. Now, instead of 3 acting purely out of spite, it’s also because he was pushed by the expectations of a multimillion sub channel. However, I rewatched A Totally Normal SMG4 Video to see if this was ever shown, and it wasn’t. Now, why wouldn’t 3 have given up control of the channel if it was so hard? Well, someone theorized that doing so would make him feel irrelevant at the time, so he couldn’t. I guess that makes sense, but this is never shown in the movie. This isn’t a show don’t tell moment because it isn’t even implied at all within the YouTube Arc. It’s a moment pulled out of nowhere just to make us feel bad for 4 more. Let’s also not forget the endless comedic moments, which are actually funny, but don’t really add to the story. Mario in particular is a character who, besides the one section with the MDTs, is useless to the plot and only serves to be comedic relief. Yes, this is the same Mario who had his party ruined in the previous video. The consistency in nearly every aspect is out of line, and it really drags the movie down.
Now, I already talked a lot about 4’s morality, but it’s worth repeating since this is a major part of the movie. 4 was not possessed until after the events of Mar10 Day, so everything before then is on him. However, he never gets punished for these actions nor truly makes up for them. I guess you could say his punishment was getting possessed, but that was something he was more than glad to have. He clearly didn’t mind ruining Mario’s party, he never once thought about Peach considering it was her castle, and he was actually thinking about dropping 3 for the perfect video, with the implication that 3 saying the two are friends was the deciding factor despite the fact 4 was already freed. Like I said before, it will be proven later on that none of this stuff was genuine and we can’t use that to judge this saga, but the tone is already set within the movie itself. 4 didn’t learn anything in this movie. In fact, he became worse as a result of it. This movie showed 4’s darkest hour where he was such a douche to all his friends, yet in the end, they pity him because of some out of pocket stuff that was never shown before this movie. Why should we feel as if these are genuine comments about himself when it is never even hinted at? By comparison, the Waluigi Arc does this much better. We see Waluigi fail to get into Smash, and we do feel bad for him, but we also understand that his actions after that are evil. This makes the ending, where Waluigi realizes that his family is more important than some stupid game, feel right. Now, Waluigi probably should suffer from the consequences of his actions, but at the time, SMG4 didn’t feel as serious as it does now. On top of that, the family Waluigi had was Wario, and those two are notorious for their crimes and schemes. By comparison, 4 is the second most used character in the whole series behind Mario, and he is the “sane” one of the two. He’s often portrayed as a hero and a genuinely good guy, so when he finally does something really bad and gets let off so easily, it feels so wrong. Furthermore, because of the reference to the YouTube Arc, it frames 3 in that arc as more sympathetic when that simply wasn’t the intent. We all thought 3 was absolutely insane in that arc and completely evil, and he got punished for it. However, 4 did similar things to 3 in that arc despite the fact their descent into madness is so similar, yet got no consequences. Not only does it make 4 look like he got off easy, but you could also say 3 got off too harsh. It retroactively makes the YouTube Arc look worse. Now, I personally think that 3 got screwed over by 4 in that arc for no reason, but that once again shows how 4 didn’t change and how much of a dick he is. He’s not a character with much to sympathize with. He is morally wrong in some way from beginning to end and never is forced to face this truth. The morals shown here are that so long as you say you are sorry and attempt to fix problems, then that’s all good. On top of it, since his friends never truly confront the issue and enforce a punishment, he never actually has to face the problem. You think he cares about Peach’s castle? It’s not his, he doesn’t care. Nobody did. On top of that, Mario’s party is completely ignored and his best friend award flat out disappears. Why doesn’t 4 want to help fix any of that for the biggest victims? 4 is not a total victim here, and the fact the movie tries to pretend he is is sickening.
Speaking of forgetting stuff, it goes beyond Mario’s party. Melony, as stated before, completely disappeared in Mar10 Day. She was at the party, had multiple bits with her early on, but once Mario called upon his friends to help save 4, the strongest person there and the one who vowed to protect her friends, is just ignored. Even Saiko was ignored, but at least Mario and Saiko have an awful relationship, so having the two work together would be a bit weird. However, both she and Kaizo were there by the end of Mar10 Day. Meanwhile, Melony is nowhere to be seen. The livestream makes this worse since everyone minus Kaizo is back for the movie, yet not Melony. She makes a cameo when Bob calls her while she sleeps. However, why do this? It should be obvious, but it’s because she would have been able to fly and cut through everything with how powerful she is. The fact Melony’s arc had her want to protect her friends and then make her do literally nothing here is absolutely embarrassing. On top of that, Peach is not mentioned once throughout the movie until the very end where she is left to die in the pit for a joke. Now I know that some people will say “Who cares about Peach? She’s never been cared for before!” To that, I ask you this: if 4 were truly sorry for his actions, wouldn’t he try to save the owner of the castle he lived in for 12 years? It undercuts 4’s morality once again. I don’t feel sympathy for someone who’s actively refusing to help someone who gave him a home. All I feel is anger that someone got off so easy.
The messaging of this movie is also really bad because of all these issues. Now, I wouldn’t say it’s bad solely because of 4’s poor morals. However, even if he were morally sound, the more damning thing is how everyone does not hold 4 accountable for his actions at all. Mario doesn’t care for his party at all. Meggy and especially 3 constantly comfort 4 like a manbaby. This is the part I truly hate, as this is just unacceptable behavior they let slide. And, once again, it also means we should give this similar treatment to 3 in the YouTube Arc because of what he said. They want things to be seen as true we simply can’t accept because we know it makes no sense. Now, let’s talk about a weird moral I haven’t really touched on yet. We see 4 redesign Toad and attempt to bring back the recolored version of himself and 3. The message we see is that making unnecessary changes like this is a bad thing. This isn’t bad on paper, but it becomes confusing when we look at the redesigns they have. What purpose do they serve? The Lawsuit Arc proves how useless they are because of parody law, and their designs aren’t even groundbreaking, especially 4’s and Bob’s. Hell, the new castle that would be built after the movie is another example of a worthless change. Why did it happen? Oh, the adware stuff happened. Okay, why does that exist in this movie? Does it add to the story in a meaningful way? No, it doesn’t. Its sole purpose is to raise stakes artificially. And yes, we know full well it came back after the fact, but in this movie, it’s a plot device. Nothing more. This same criticism can be made of Zero in the 10th Anniversary movie. On top of that, it’s also somewhat confusing since it makes no sense to redesign Toad yet revert 3 and 4 to recolors. The worst part about it all is the use of the recolors frames it in a much more negative light with how they are trapped. This also happens immediately after the signs scene, so the framing is he hates himself and wants to return back to a recolor, but will redesign Toad? It also gives off this negative emotion due to the attack it did on the others. It’s like they don’t want us to view recolors as good, which is doubled down upon when they refreshed the ones in the trailer for the movie. Rather than tackle the idea of a nuanced criticism of those changes, they instead double down and ignore the deeper reasons why they worked before and why they don’t now. It ignores the actual criticism of the change and simplifies it to classic stans. It makes it look more like a pity party rather than a good overview of the issue, which is really bad as well considering the next segment actually does show off a valid criticism. Combined with the excessive change argument before, it makes this look so bad overall and genuinely baffling how this was allowed in. I also don’t know why they didn’t try to include the new designs into the plot of the movie, especially since it wouldn’t be that hard to do. 3, 4, Meggy, and Boopkins all could be wrapped up by the goop, which redesigns them. 4 can have his already, 3 and Meggy get theirs in the mirror room, and Boopkins gets his when he tries running inside to save 4. Pretty simple stuff, yet not implemented. I don’t even know what the message is here. It could be anything, but it’s so messed up that it’s hard to follow. However, at least the MDT section was pretty accurate and has been changed for the better partially. Rather than pumping low quality crap for views, it now tries to be more original with each video. They still pushed Meggy out in the video, showing how they pushed everyone aside for Mario, and now have more side characters join. However, they still focus on Mario, even after rebranding to SMG4 Crew, which is just odd. Once again, not gonna hold that against the movie since that is after the movie, but it should be noted. Either way, the morals presented are quite rocky at best and downright bad at worst.
The comedy of this movie is actually pretty solid for the B plot. Swag is quite in character, and while not quite as raunchy as GNR Swag, it’s still nice to see. As I mentioned earlier, it does somewhat weaken the main plot’s severity, but I can’t deny I laughed still. Boopkins is also quite good here. The way he plays off Saiko and Swag is really nice. He doesn’t take up too much time, either. His bits are relatively quick and give that cringe pacifism comedy to counter Swag’s craziness. Mario is hit or miss for the most part, and even when he hits, it’s not because of much. It’s usually random stuff because lol stupid Mario. 3 sticks with his weird humor and tsundere attitude, both of which are not that funny still. Meggy doesn’t even try to be funny besides calling 3 out for caring about 4, which just doesn’t feel in character at all. It’s out of nowhere and only serves for comedy. The rest of the time, she’s the action hero and acting smug about it. However, because of the slightly toned down crazy humor and the more serious nature of the movie, it actually adds to the comedy. In most normal episodes, the crazy humor is a constant barrage, so it lessens its overall comedic value. Here, it doesn’t have the excess craziness to dull it down. We can even see this between SMG4, Are You Okay? and Mar10 Day. The latter is mostly reliant on memes and quirkiness from 3 and 4 while the former keeps a variety of wacky humor and a fun plot. It’s Gotta Be Perfect is more in tone with SMG4, Are You Okay?, and because of the lessened comedic elements and overall more enjoyable comedy, it makes something entertaining. Now, the comedy alone doesn’t save this movie. This isn’t a comedy movie, and if it were, it failed to do that. It’s a big piece, but not the full story.
With all of that said, what is the final verdict of this movie? I will be brutally honest here: I think it’s the worst video SMG4 has made. The overall narrative is all over the place, the morals are abysmally shown, and while it does offer some comedic value, I don’t believe that saves this downright destructive movie. It also teeters on, if not does villainize the desire to get recolors back, and that overall classic stuff. They try so hard to make us pity a genuine douchetuber with random ass pulls in the 11th hour. It actively destroys, if not mocks Melony’s character arc while redefining the YouTube Arc into something completely different. All of this is done to destroy the castle, which comes out of nowhere and only serves to raise stakes. It’s only made worse if you know about Colin’s (a writer at the time IGBP released) original idea for this, which would have instead built upon the SMG lore and ramifications of Lawsuit and the redesigns in Bloopersville. I know this doesn’t change the movie itself, but it’s frustrating that we had ideas like this be declined because they were too closely related to previous lore. It shows how the team doesn’t care for what they’ve done, and it shows in their end product. This movie is so divisive and will either make you love the show or hate the show more than you already did. It doesn’t show nuance or anything, but rather serves to be a means to an end, that being the new castle and the start of the Puzzlevision saga. What makes this worse is how meta it is since it can be almost directly applied to real life. Meta stuff requires a level of integrity and care even more than normal stories, and that wasn’t here at all. It felt lazy with no touch at all. It’s such a frustrating experience to me, and considering how meta and how much it touches it, it truly makes it the worst video on the channel. Even worse than low quality stuff or unfunny messes. This is a story that failed catastrophically, and that is something I don’t want to be given such high praise. It’s even more unfortunate since a large portion of the episodes leading up to the movie are pretty solid, yet they get tainted by this story. So many little things about it build up and make it feel so much worse. I know I haven’t kept my cool as much in this last paragraph, but it truly is frustrating to see something fail so blatantly.
But what do you guys think? Am I too hard on it? Too easy on it somehow? That’s what discussion is for. This was one of the longest reviews I’ve done and one of the most mentally draining with how much it drains you. Critical analysis of something really bad will do that. Thankfully, the next one I have planned will be much more positive. You’ll see it when it happens (unless I do one before then, but that’s not planned lol), but I think you can guess what it is if you know my personal tastes. Let’s just say it (unintentionally) handles the idea of perfectionism far better than IGBP could ever dream of. But, once again, you’ll have to wait and see.
Until then, stay hydrated, have a nice day.

I see alot of posts of people asking what people sell alot of but, not as many asking what doesn't sell. So tell me about the stuff you've been sitting on for awhile and taking awhile to move (not always a bad thing if it's high profit).
I'll start:
Seasonal decor - When I got into flipping a few years back I had early success buying decor at estate sales for the upcoming season and selling them. So I sort of over did it thinking it was an easy flip. Now I'm sitting on halloween candy bowls and snowman candle holders that are out of season and no one wants. I just sold an Easter bunny I bought over a year ago.
Avon bottles - this was a garage sale splurge where I got a big box of empty avon bottles for $5. I think I sold one out of the 20 or so bottles in there (at least sold it for enough profit to pay for the box). They get a ton of views/likes but, nobody ever pulls the trigger.
Diecast Airplanes - these are so niche they just don't move. They are worth a decent amount so I don't want to price them too low but, they take just the right buyer looking for the right plane. I have insane margins when they do move but, they sit forever.
Finally the most niche items. Sketches from a famous historian he did for a history professor at the local university. In the 70s he published a book describing the uniforms of US and European militaries in the Napoleonic Era. These are very detailed color sketches that are framed that he did. One of a kind. I have about a dozen of them and got them very cheap and they're very cool but, it's going to take awhile to move these.