Radio shack 1000mc

I'll just cut to the chase: My mom has Hoarding disorder. She owns a 3-acre property with an 2,000 sq ft overflowing house, 3 shipping containers filled with who knows what, two outbuildings, and several vehicles in various states of usability.
We are preparing a Trust, and transferring the real property into it...but I am preparing myself simultaneously to have to inventory the "stuff" - the tangible personal property - for selective inclusion in the Trust or for any Probate that happens.
First, it might help to imagine a strip mall that had a Radio Shack, a Vintage Toy store, and an antique shop with everything from now-mostly-worthless depression glass to old farm tools to now-popular 60s jewelery...and that strip mall was blown up by a not very good bombmaker. Stuff is entirely intermingled in piles. There is a lot of actual trash - and, some things that might be trash, but could be salvaged - so might have value, might not. The biggest problem is the sheer volume of stuff.
1) most is, truly, trash. Really, like an entire basement of damp board games. They may have had value, and sure, the component parts could be salvaged, but that takes time and money. If I do characterize all of it as trash, do I have to account for it in any way for probate?
2) some stuff has theoretical value as collectibles - whether because it is antique/vintage household items, boxed Star Wars toys, old costume jewelry. The idea of going through it all by hand is already giving me hives - is there a way to get around itemization for stuff I know is in there so it can be put in the Trust? Can I say 'collection of depression glass, 400 pieces' and estimate the overall value of a grouping? How does one deal with a hypothetical 'Box of Thundercat action figures' when some are collectible but only in certain condition - and I really don't want to spend 5 days finding and aggregating them, guessing at condition and looking up prices if I don't have to. Can these be dealt with "in bulk" and stuck in the Trust, just so we don't have to do a more detailed inventory for Probate?
3) There are also things that have value like 200 HDMI cables in packages, random assortments of tools and hardware and bagged fuses and the related 'radio shack' type stuff. I am guessing a normal estate has this on a smaller scale - someone's tool shed, for example, or just the contents of a living room with, say, just 3 HDMI cables : ) None of that needs to be in the Trust, but if things went to probate, what level of detail is needed?
4) Then there is are things like a mid-70s Bronco that has been sitting in the field for 20 years - it is either plain old scap or valuable to the right person. I am thinking that since our state allows a beneficiary to be on a title, it can be handled that way and dealt later, outside of probate...unless there is a better way.
5) The big one: What happens when a decedent’s house is condemned? How is probate handled for the TPP inside the house or on the property? I cannot vouch for the safety of the building, so figured I may was well wrap my head around that now. We're in Maryland, btw.
Many thanks for any advice on how to plan around this soon-to-be-my problem. And to say it at the top: yes, we have moved her out of the house...and no, she is not able to help identify or get rid of stuff.

Do you think it’s a coincidence Elon tweeted in ‘19 that Tesla was almost named faraday? Hmmmm. (&is that actually a real tweet? Lol) Also, like aside from this profitable strategy there is actually something worth saving here. A squeeze on something like GameStop was always so weird to me because when I think GameStop I think radio shack or blockbuster. When I think faraday, I think tesla. That’s the difference here long term.
Call me crazy but I believe in this world wide mission to save a company who has managed to pull perfect strangers together in such orderly fashion from across the globe essentially blind. Imagine what we’re truly capable of. This movement knows no border, no gender, no race, no nothin. Yet, we have faith. Why? Because at the end of the day, i know that each and every person is morally aligned with me to their core. Why would I care about anything other than that? Hold tight. History is in the making.

I have the directions, but every time I try to save a car number and its frequency it reverts to an older number. Any advice? Resources or videos out there? Looking to use it for indy500 this weekend so hoping to get it situated this week any help asap would be great!

This short story is a part of the Mieran Ruins Collection. The rest of the stories can be found on this masterpost.
What motivated people to visit a location? Was it breathtaking and vivid natural scenery? Was it a thriving nightlife and cultural scene? Was it an innovative and unforgettable culinary experience? Or was it all of the above along with the history and character that made a place unique?
The answer was none of the above. Tourists were motivated by ad campaigns. A small town could be on top of a mountain with a wonderful view of forests with trees that can only survive within a small patch of the planet, but unless the town spammed the world with obnoxious adverts, the population would prefer to go to a generic slightly tall hill to ski down. Some cities ignored the race for attention and went about their business. Others were already established and their names attracted attention. The most sorry category were the ones that needed to attract attention, but they didn’t know how.
“Picture this. Frida wears a shirt that says Pacifico City and runs across the country,” Jim said.
“I like that idea,” Frida smiled.
“She can’t run that fast. Besides, what if she gets attacked,” Polly replied.
“Don’t worry. I’m bulletproof,” Frida said. Polly stared at her for a few moments and decided not to pursue that avenue of delusions.
“Either way, we need people here now. The way we do that is to get people’s attention. Otherwise, Rick will lose his hotel,” Polly said.
“I don’t remember hearing him say that,” Jim replied.
“He implied it,” Polly said.
“Did he?”
“Yes, he’s probably telling Olivia and Reid right now about how hard the economy is for small businesses,” Polly said.
“So this is your beach?” Reid asked. It was covered with glass and sharp rocks. The sun seemed to shine brighter on that particular patch of sand, and the heat reflected off of it reached Reid’s face and made him sweat. The only other living creature there was a mutant alligator with eight legs. He looked at the humans wanting to take a bite, but he remained in place. He was used to the rat-fish hybrids that left the ocean and in their confusion ran into his mouth.
“Go for a swim. High tide is whenever. I think there’s a ghost in the ocean. People keeping returning with stab wounds,” Rick said.
“Are you sure they aren’t teeth marks from the giant alligator?” Olivia pointed at the creature.
“Stab wounds, teeth marks, it makes no difference to the dead man,” Reid said. Olivia tilted her head in mild amusement at the apathetic man’s wisdom.
“This would provide a terrible experience to guests. We must make it better,” Reid said.
“Okay, sounds good.” Rick walked away. “Tell me when you do that.
“You are staying here.” Olivia grabbed his arm. “If I have to put up with Reid, so do you.”
“Whatever.” Rick turned around and watched.
“First, we have to clean it up,” Reid said. Olivia scanned the ground and found a plastic bag. She picked it up and handed it to Reid. He looked down at it. “Uh, I meant that you two would do that.”
“I’m not doing grunt work, and good luck getting him to do that.” Olivia gestured over her shoulder to Rick.
“New plan. We create an immersive experience out of the beach.” Rick snapped his fingers. “What if we create a scavenger hunt. Anything of value that they find they keep.”
“And I can steal anything that I like right?” Olivia asked.
“Yeah, sure.” Reid turned back to the alligator. “And we make a giant golf course here with him being the final hole.”
“That seems cruel,” Rick said. Olivia and Reid looked at Rick. Both were shocked that this was the moment he chose to express his opinion. He shrugged. “That gator has been there for fifty years. He’s an institution.”
“Did you ever name him?” Reid asked.
“No, but I am assuming someone did,” Rick said.
“Would having the final be shot up his tail be more respectful?” Reid asked.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” Rick said. Reid moved his attention to beyond the beach. He looked at an abandoned shack next door.
“That’ll be the bar where we’ll have our signature cocktail.” Reid rubbed his chin. “We’ll call it Ocean Bliss.”
“It’s been so long since I had a cocktail. It better be good,” Olivia said.
“Don’t bother. It’ll just be saltwater from the ocean mixed with any alcohol we can find,” Reid said. Olivia looked down in shame. Reid ignored her and looked at another spot. The building had collapsed years ago. All that remained was the remains of the foundation and a large tree that was destroying the concrete.
“We can hang bits of glass on the branches, shine a light, and make a night club.” Reid turned around. “And that can be the concession stand. We’ll serve the rat-mouse hybrids and call it meatloaf. And there’s where we’ll offer boat rides and make customers bring their own boats. Yes, this’ll be magnificent.”
“That’s fine dear. You realize that you’ll have to do most of the work. I’m not made for busy work,” Olivia said. Reid’s smile broke when he realized who he brought with him.
“Yeah, I know.” He dramatically scaled back his plans.
“How are you going to let people know we’re here?” Rick asked.
“I don’t know. That’s Polly’s job,” Reid said.
“She’ll fail,” Olivia said.
“She’s whiny and annoying like an advertisement. Why wouldn't she succeed?” Reid asked.
“I have an idea,” Jim smiled.
“What is it?” Polly shook her head preemptively.
“What if we break into a military base and use their radio to advertise it,” Jim said.
“That’s not so bad.” Polly looked over at Frida. “And we have a bulletproof human shield if we need it.” Frida smiled at the thought of being useful.
AstroRideWrites

Looking for a new Arma 3 Community?

Carpe Noctem Tactical Operations was founded in 2014 as an Arma 3 community that aims to balance a realistic combat environment with fun gameplay. We play missions every Tuesday and Friday using a custom modset designed to improve your Arma experience.
The average age of our members is 25 years old, mostly from Europe and we want to attract friendly and mature people to the community. Both Arma veterans and newcomers to the series are welcome to join CNTO - previous Arma experience is appreciated but not required.
Carpe Noctem is not a community where people call each other "sir" or features other hardcore role-playing aspects generally associated with milsim units. We use a rank structure but it serves administrative purposes only. In daily interactions we are completely equal to one another. Our play style is semi-serious and inspired by ShackTac. We employ real tactics, techniques and procedures adapted for Arma 3. Our goal is to have serious fun, not a tedious boot camp simulation.
We are a friendly, relaxed and organized community that enjoys playing a variety of games together and have a good laugh. We understand that players have other responsibilities and our core principle is that real-life always has priority. Our minimum attendance ratio is one event in two months.

Requirements

• Minimum age: 18+
• Good-natured and mature
• Timezone range: between UTC-2 and UTC+3 (exceptions possible)
• Intermediate English - both spoken and written

We Offer

• Established stable community and friendly environment
• Flexible attendance policy
• Membership in other communities (multi-clanning) is allowed
• Voluntary on-demand training sessions
• Inhouse modding/coding team
• Professional-grade game servers hosted internally
• Regular social events (movie-nights, Table Top Simulator, various FPS games)

Schedule

• Tuesday:20:00 - 22:30 CET/CEST (Berlin/Paris)
• Friday:20:00 - 23:30 CET/CEST (Berlin/Paris)

Most prominent mods used

• Inhouse developed CNTO Mods
• Advanced Combat Environment 3 (ACE3)
• Advanced Combat Radio Environment 2 (ACRE2)
• CUP Terrains
• RHS Escalation
• 3CB Factions

Contact Us

• Discord
• Teamspeak: ts.carpenoctem.co
• Website

Sponsors

CNTO is proudly sponsored by TeamSpeak and West Digital Management.

“Local officials are calling it a “disaster of unprecedented proportion”, and a “tragic loss of life”.
"Despite investigative efforts producing only guesswork regarding the identity of who could be responsible for such an attack, confirmed casualties are already rising into the hundreds. The devastating loss of life has resulted in waves of tragedy and outrage among those affected by the disaster. Families mourn for relatives that will never come home, and crime rates have skyrocketed in the surrounding areas since the chaos first unfolded. "
"Despite the sorrow, it’s clear that the community is united by a single burning question: why wasn’t this tragedy stopped before it started? We’ll be bringing you coverage of the event live on air, as investigative efforts continue to go underway. Coming up next: A glimpse into the mind of a Tachyon apologist. Thirty-four-year-old Daniel Lloyd was arrested during a violent protest, demanding the release of Drophyd forces involved in the now mysteriously-vanished tyrant’s former attack on Kerwan - But why? All this and more right after the break. Channel 2 News”.
“Hey, would you mind turning that off, little outsider?” A metallic voice like a cheap walkie-talkie called out behind the counter. “Went through the trouble of fixing that box and all it does is shout bad news.”
“Sure thing.”
A small blue humanoid with wide eyes nodded, and swung down from the counter to flick off the radio. His workshop clothes were grimy and stained with oil, and small stubs of what would soon be horns poked out the sides of his head.
“Still, it’s nice to know what’s happening out there. Right, Rasper?” He said, turning back and jumping up to grab the top of the counter.
“You don’t need the news to see that the galaxy’s going down the drain.” The figure replied, stretching upwards to place a chunk of scrap on a high shelf.
His hunched shoulders and long neck easily identified him as a Vullard, with reptilian spines running down his back to the tip of his red, spottled tail. As was trademark with Vullards, his head was enclosed in a carefully constructed metal case equipped with vocal synthesizer, oxygen respirator, and mp3 player. The case stretched vertically like a cylinder, with two blue lenses sticking out the sides to function as eyes. A pair of flaps covered the lenses and occasionally flipped up and down to wipe off dust and debris. The bottom end of the helmet lifted up and down when he spoke to mimic a mouth. After reaching the shelf, he groaned and reached a hand to his hunched back, rubbing it sorely.
“The Agorians are running rampant, that Nefarious guy made an alliance with the Valkyries, and now there’s rumor of not just one, but TWO Lombaxes running around? The world’s going crazy, I tell ya…”
“What’s a Lombax?” The smaller figure asked.
Rasper shrugged. “Truth be told I don’t really know either, little outsider. But they’re bad news, apparently.”
The smaller figure looked back out into space. Despite having told Rasper that his name was Junpo, the Vullard wouldn’t call him anything but outsider. From what he’d heard from passing travelers, that seemed to be a social norm with Vullards.
Leaving Rasper to his work, Junpo walked out of the shack and into the grassy field beyond. Their pitstop “Sell-n-Soar” rested on a meager 30 foot wide asteroid dotted with grass, that remained positioned in space outside of orbit through some gravitational force he didn’t understand. The asteroid was wide on top with a flat grassy surface, and tapered down to a sharp point of dirt and stone at the very bottom, as if the entire space had been violently ripped from the surface of some other planetoid. On the far side of the asteroid was a landing pad and a spherical Grummelnet weapons vendor that Junpo was too young to legally operate. On the opposite side was a makeshift playground Rasper had cobbled together for him in his spare time.
The Sell-n-Soar shack stood in the center of the grassy plain, and occasionally bits and pieces of the hodge-podge structure would chip off of the building and float into space, merging with the thick rings of junk that littered the sector. Fastened to the side of the shack was a large claw, attached to a crane. The claw was hooked up to a sturdy tether system, and could be used to shoot out and grab at orbiting scrap. The shack used to have a bright neon sign stapled to the top to attract travelers, but it was shot through by a drunk Agorian speeder one night, and went careening into the depths of space.
Junpo loved sitting at the edge of the asteroid with his feet dangling over the edge, looking into the great wide plane of space beyond. The Vela sector was painted with swathes of bright lime greens and teal blues that swirled through the dense rings of junk that always orbited by. The trails of scrap seemed to collect the unwanted litter and debris from across the universe, ending up in massive streams of cold metal that twisted and curved between the planetoids of the Vela sector like immense rivers of scrap. When the rivers wound their way across the face of stars and suns, it would create thick ribbons of shadow which danced cold beams of frigid darkness across the depths of space. Junpo let out a breath to marvel at the majesty of what was just beyond their tiny little shack. It never failed to remind him of how small he was, and how large the universe could be. Out there, somewhere…
“You really think my parents are still looking for me?” Junpo asked, turning his head back to look at Rasper.
The Vullard stopped in his tracks, as the flaps over his eyes blinked rapidly.
“…They’ll come back one day, little outsider.” He said. “Now come over here, I got a job for ya.”
Junpo followed as Rasper led him into the tiny back-room of the shack. The newest harvest of scrap from the junk rivers cluttered most of the room, nearly filling it up to waist level. There was only a thin path carved through the junk to walk and catalogue the haul.
“Alright, let’s go over this again. What’s the most basic rule of scrap collection?”
“All scrap has value”. Junpo parroted in a clear voice.
“Exactly. Now look, we got scrap up to our ears out here, but it’s not as simple as collecting it and selling it again. Figuring out how to best cultivate the value of each scrap collection is the tricky part. That takes the keen eye of an experienced collector. And… that’s what I want to start teaching you, little outsider.”
Junpo blinked wide. “Really? You mean-”
“Yeah, I’ll let you in on some trade secrets. If you want any chance of getting off this rock someday instead of inheriting my shack, you’re gonna need a way of making bolts. Plus, it’ll be nice having more help with the business, my back’s been killing me.”
Junpo jumped excitedly. “When do I start?”
“Right now, if you want.” The Vullard replied, gesturing to the scrap. “The very first thing you gotta learn about scrap collection is how to sort it. When you get enough experience, you can tell its potential use and profit margin at a glance, but we’ll start slowly with what we got here, for the time being. It looks like a decent haul, so it won’t be a waste of time either.”
Rasper began to teach Junpo the difference between tools and widgets, and decommissioned devices of all kinds. He instructed him on the basics of potential value, both past and present, and who would want which scrap and why. When the little boy grew bored of the sorting, Rasper began to teach him the basics of operating the scrap tether, and Junpo became quickly enamored with shooting the massive claw out into space, pulling back potential treasures in its grip. As the hours went by, Junpo quickly lost track of time, and it was only when he heard the deep hum of a spacecraft docking at their landing pad that he realized they had been working late into the night.
“Sounds like we got a customer, little outsider. You just wait here for a minute.”
As soon as Rasper left the room, Junpo dropped the scrap and followed him out, being careful not to get swept off his feet by Rasper’s lumbering tail. The arriving vessel was sleek and sporty, with a shiny chrome exterior and a deep red under-glow along the belly and wings. As the engine whirred to a stop, two figures leap out the side. One was a large black and blue robot with red visor, wide shoulders, and massive brick-like hands. The other was a smaller reptilian humanoid with pale purple skin, dressed in a crisp business suit. His scales gleamed in the starlight, and a long sail-like fin ran down his back to his tail. The robot’s steps made the asteroid rumble underfoot, while the reptilian figure’s bright pink eyes shone hungrily, as his serrated teeth parted in a grin.
Junpo looked to Rasper and saw him frozen stock still. It appeared as if he were trying to blink, rub his back, and run away at the same time, but could instead do nothing at all.
“Little outsider, you better stay inside for a bit, alright?” He said, looking back inside the shack. When his head swiveled down to see Junpo by his side, his mouth gaped in horror.
“Rasper G. Carver, my my… It’s been a while!” The lizard said, as his serpentine tongue slid between his serrated teeth. His words were greasy and smooth. “I trust the business has been treating you well?”
“Oh… You know how it is, outsider. New haul, more work…” Rasper said, trying to subtly shoe Junpo back inside the shack. “Pretty quiet around here, since the Agorians stopped coming by.”
“Am I still considered an outsider, after all the business we’ve done together? My name is Zarnoc. Use it, please.” The lizard said. “But yes, without those bumbling muscle-bound brutes wandering about, this stretch of space is almost peaceful. Who do you have to thank for that, I wonder?”
“O-Of course, I’m eternally grateful for all that you guys’ve been doing, keeping them away and s-”
“HEY!”
Rasper was interrupted as the lizard whipped his head back with a shout to see the large robot clutching the Grummelnet vendor in one hand, shaking it upside down like a bag of candy. The vendor was shouting a ceaseless stream of profanity from its awkward position, although its insults seemed to go completely over the head of the giant sentinel.
“Get over here! You’re supposed to be intimidating!”
The robot flinched in surprise before setting the vendor back down, daintily swiping the dust off the cursing sphere’s sides before shuffling to Zarnoc. The Grummelnet vendor clamped tightly shut, muttering more curses under its breath.
“Now where was I? Ah, yes.” The lizard began, clearing his throat. “It’s been quite a lot of trouble for us to keep the Agorians out of this part of the sector, and it’s only gotten worse. From our perspective, such a transaction is purely business. We extort- I mean, bargain with you thriving settlers to hand over some of the proceeds from your operations, as a protection fee. Simple enough, right? Well, the Agorians aren’t seeing it that way. Our thriving collaborative business has been treated as an act of war by those dumb brutes, and our master has been hindered in his own business because of Agorian retaliation. Not that they could do much to Lord Vorselon anyway, but it’s definitely pricked the master’s ire. You understand what I’m saying?”
Rasper nodded, his eye-flaps blinking rapidly.
“Good. This is where we reach another point of negotiation in our fine, civilized discussion: Lord Vorselon demands an increase in tribute.”
“How much?”
Zarnoc pretended to count on his claws. “Mmm… about ten thousand bolts per month?”
“Ten thousand?!” Rasper echoed. “I don’t make ten thousand in a year, let alone a month!”
“I don’t care, and neither does Lord Vorselon. If you can’t pay up now, we’re ordered to raise this sad rock to the ground.”
“Now w-wait a minute there, outsider. Can’t you give me some time?”
“Oh, you’d rather talk with the Agorians instead? I’m sure they’d make excellent negotiators.”
“Look, I’ll give you everything I have; all the scrap I’ve got. Take it. It’s yours.”
Zarnoc laughed. “Why don’t we wrap it all up in a pretty red bow and take it to the master on a silver platter? No, there’s nothing of value here, except your bolts. Now hand them over.”
Junpo grabbed hold of Rasper’s hand, but the action caught the lizard’s notice.
“Who’s that?”
“Oh, him? He’s a, uh… Well, his parents left one day and…”
“Hmm... Another orphan, abandoned by incompetent parents who couldn’t provide any better. I understand, truly.” Zarnoc said, closing his eyes in a mock prayer. “Mine treated me no better. Now look where I am…”
“My parents didn’t abandon me!” Junpo shouted, still clutching to Rasper’s hand. “They’re coming back someday! I know it!”
Zarnoc’s mouth lit up in a wicked smile. “That’s what they all say. Trust me kid, I’ve seen it a hundred times. I’ve lived it. You’re abandoned. You’ve got nobody. You were left here to die alone.”
Junpo leapt forward, but Rasper’s usually frail arms pulled him back with shocking force. Junpo looked up to the Vullard’s metal head, but it was locked on to Zarnoc’s own face. The lizard appeared deep in thought, before his wicked eyes trained back on Junpo.
“Say, that kid’s got no attachments, and besides you there’d be no witnesses. Why don’t you hand over him this month in lieu of your payments and we’ll call it a day? He’s still young – there’s limitless potential. Lord Vorselon can brainwash him into a killer assassin, or something. Yes, that would please him very much.”
“Now hold on just one second there, outsider!” Rasper said as the large robot bent down to drag Junpo away. “I can’t let you do that! He’s under my protection!”
“Too bad. You’re under our protection.”
The large robot scooped up Junpo by the scruff of his collar and firmly swung him over its broad shoulders, knocking the breath out of his chest as he gasped for air. Rasper hobbled after him on wobbly legs, but was forced to stop and clutch his back with heaving breath.
“Rasper!” Junpo cried out as he was thrown into the cruiser.
As the door to the cruiser closed, Junpo was enveloped in blackness as bright red logistics panels popped up to illuminate the darkness. The robot gave him a light pat on the head, and Junpo heard Zarnoc cackling from the cockpit seat, out of sight.
“We’ll take the kid, and blow this scrap-heap to bits. Activate the turrets!”
As the robot stood up to flick a switch, the entire ship jerked to the left from the force of a massive impact, causing the left-hand door to peal open.
“What-”
The Vullard had shuffled back inside and aimed the scrap-tether claw directly at the cruiser, trapping it in its grip as the door tore wide open.
“You give back the little outsider and leave! Now!”
Junpo saw Rasper standing at the landing pad, and was astonished to see a bright yellow ‘Negotiator’ Missile launcher cocked over his right shoulder.
“That Vullard’s insane!” Junpo heard Zarnoc cry in disbelief as the ship’s safety alarms whirred to life.
Taking his chance, Junpo ran for the opening in the door, dodging a swipe from the massive robot to stand on top of the tether claw. The ship was hovering about fifteen feet above the landing pad, with the tether cable running to it like a tightrope. Rasper stood below the ship, with the Negotiator pointed right at it.
“Jump, little outsider! I’ll catch you!”
Junpo’s knuckles turned teal as he gripped the edge of the cruiser. The robot grabbed at his foot from behind and clenched it tightly, but at the same moment, the ship lurched to the right, sending them both tumbling out into space. For a brief moment, Junpo and the sentinel soared through space at alarming speed. Junpo kicked away at the robot before landing in Rasper’s arms. The behemoth robot’s head collided with the edge of the asteroid, tearing it clean off as the lifeless body floated into deep space. The Vullard sighed.
“This is gonna get me in all kinds of trouble, but…”
Rasper pulled the trigger, and a high velocity missile shot out with a trail of smoke. The torpedo appeared for a brief moment as a blindingly bright comet, before exploding next to the shuttle. The blast caused a deep rumbling boom and a massive shockwave to peal out through space, causing the tether hook to come undone by its very force. The ship wobbled mid-air before plummeting below the asteroid, until it eventually stabilized a distance away. Junpo thought he could still hear Zarnoc’s distant cursing as the ship retreated.
Junpo and Rasper sat still on the landing pad for several minutes, breathing heavily.
“This means we’re gonna have to move.” Rasper muttered, tossing the Negotiator into the grass. “I was just starting to like it here, too…”
“Thank you, Rasper.” Junpo said. “You saved me.”
His wide eyes paired with a massive grin as he beamed up at the Vullard, who’s troubled hunch softened at the sight.
“Anytime, little outsider.”
They sat that way a while longer, breathing heavily as they looked out into space. Rasper kept turning his head to the boy and opening his mouth, before closing it again. Eventually, he spoke.
“Look… I’m gonna be honest with you, little outsider. Your parents probably aren’t coming back. You got a whole life ahead of you; I don’t want to see you waste it waiting on some deadbeats that don’t care about you. You deserve better than that.”
Junpo’s mouth sunk in a frown as he looked into his lap.
“No, you’re right… I guess I knew that already. I just thought - maybe…”
“What’s the first rule of scrap collection?” Rasper said softly.
Junpo stared at Rasper in confusion, tears welling in his eyes.
“All scrap has value.” The Vullard said. “And even if your parents couldn’t understand that, you’re priceless in my eyes, Junpo. Now, I know I’m probably not what you imagine when you think of a father, but you can call me family anytime.”
Junpo leapt at Rasper and hugged him close.
“Thank you.”

(At the Hazbin Hotel, Charles is walking from the side to the other)
Charles: Okay. So the extermination is coming in six months instead of a year. No big deal. Just a little setback. Nothing we can't handle. Just angels cutting our timetable in half. But who needs a whole year to save souls? (Manically) Am I right? And next time, when they cut the time in half again and again, we'll handle it, right?! (Vagner holds him)
Vagner: Yes, we will.
Angela: Oh, please, ya had less than half a chance when you started all this salvation bullshit. And now...(Seems a lot of messages beeing sended) Ain't no silver lining this time, toots.
Charles: Sure there is. We just have to look a little harder for it.
Angela: Well, while you're lookin, the rest of Hell is going nuts. (Shows her phone) People are already freaking out about the news. Look at what's happening in the Doomsday District.
Charles: Err, what is a "donkey show"?
Angela: Aah, heh, nothing. My boss, Tina, is just freaked out about the news, too. Like I said, everyone's losing their shit.
Vagner: Yeah, that's true. Sinners are desperate. Maybe desperate enough to try anything to escape the extermination?
Charles: (Gasps) This is the perfect time to recruit more sinners for the hotel!
Angela: Cute idea and all, but you really going to go out in all of this? (Shows ger phone with demons running desperate)
Charles: Well, is not like are just going to show up in our doorstep.
(A explosion shaddles a wall, Charles screams and outside a snake woman is seen in an airship full of weapons)
Miss Pentious: Show yourself, Alice! Come and face...(Don't anything on the wall, and sees Alice drinking coffee in a balcony) Oh, there you are...Face my wrath!
Alice: Who are you?
Miss Pentious: Who am I? Who am I? I am the great Miss Pentious! Inventor, architect of destruction, villain extraordinaire!
(Alice teleports to the hotel's entrance with Angela, Charles and Vagner)
Egg girl #1: Ooh! You tell 'em, boss!
Niffter: (Gasps) Ooh, she's a bad girl.
Alice: Huh, well if all that's true, you'd think I'd have heard of you.
Miss Pentious: I attacked you literally last week. We've done battles, like...20 times.
Alice: Well, you must have been really bad at this.
Miss Pentious: Silence! Now cower! For when I've slain you, the almigthy Vees will finally acknowledge me as their equal!
Niffter: Ooh! Wait, who are the Vees?
Alice: Oh, nobody important.
(At the Vee Tower, some demons are seen at a tv shop)
Tv announcer: New VixTek designer voyeur scopes. Peeping on the neighbors has never been more stylish. VixTek. Trust us with your money.
(The demons enter the store and leave holding boxes)
Tv announcer: This week's episode of "Yeah, I Fucked Your Sister, So What?" is brought to you by VixTek. Trust us with your entertainment. VixTek. Trust us. Trust us. Trust us. Trust us...
(In a room full of tvs, a woman with a tv head drails all the tvs energy while laughing and spying everyone)
Vix: Now that's good television! (Her face shows a call screen, shoots a lighthing at one of the tvs and does a phone call) Hello, there, Veener. How are you this hellish morning?
Veener: Oh, cut the shit, Vix. I need you up here now!
Vix: Whatever could be the problem my dear?
Veener: Your little girl toy is wrecking my departament while I'm trying to pull together a show and...
Valentina: Fucking bitch!
Veener: Just get your ass here. Now! Damnit, Valentina!
(Static and Vix smiles faits)
Vix: (Sighs) Oh god, here I go. Valentina. Just another fucking day with Tina. Hey, hey, hey. Fuck my life. (Gets in a lift that takes she up to her office, fulled with reporters)
Reporters: Mrs Vix! Mrs Vix! Question over here. Mrs Vix!
Reporter #1: Mrs Vix. What are your thoughts on the new extermination deadline?
Vix: My dear people, we at VixTek Enterprises have always been at the forefront pf innovation. And now with this new oncoming threat, we are shifting our focus to your protection. We are please to annouce VixTek Angelic Security is coming soon. Trust us with your safety.
(Vix's eye hipnotizes all the reporters)
Employee #1: Ma'am? Uh, when did we begin working on Angelic Security?
Vix: 30 seconds ago. Try to put that fucker Carmillo on the books and cancel all my appoinments today. I have a fire to put out upstairs. (Turns into electricity and gets in a security cam)
(In Veener's design studio)
Veener: Ugh. No. Unacceptable. You're fired. What is this? Wrist ruffles? Is it 1750? Burn it like the witches who wore it.
(Vix appears behind Veener)
Vix: Oh, Veener. I can see you're busy. Tell me, where's our hot haded friend now?
Veener: Up in her tower, waiting for a flat-faced princess to calm her down.
Vix: (sighs) And uh, what's got her so out of sorts today?
Veener: Who knows? But she tore up my best model. And you know the show can't wait for that unlucky fucker to put himself back together. Melvin, ger over here! (A guy appears in his front) No. No. Hideous. I want to die. Eww. Oh, yes. That's the one.
Vix: Well, looks like you have everything under control here.
Veener: Of course I do. Fuck you. Now shoo! Take care of the piss baby.
(Vix walks away, and two moth men open a door for her and she enters in Valentina's penthouse and see the demon surrounded by red smoke at the sofa)
Valentina: Fucking finally! (Throws a glass on the floor) Kin, another drink. Can you believe what that piece of shit did? The ungrateful whore! (Throws the other glass and almost hits Vix)
Vix: Um, which whore are we talking about this time?
Valentina: Fucking Angela Dust. Who the hell else would I be talking about? That fucking slut walked out on me. Me. I fucking made her. Without me, she's just a bag of meat with some middly entairtainig holes.
Vix: Angela quit?
Valentina: No, she didn't fucking quit! It's worse. (Gets Vix's phone and throws at the wall) She moved! Seh thinks she can just walk in here, work, and then go home somewhere else. Can you fucking believe that?! She thinks she can run off and shack up with Lucy's bimbo son?
Vix: Angela is living with Lucy's son now?
Valentina: Yeah, that fucker. Charlie or Charlotte, or...I don't know. Something girly like that. He's got that hotel and...(Shows a pair of guns) Which of these makes me look sexier?
Vix: (Chuckles) What are you doing, Tina? You're not going in there.
Valentina: That slippery twink is going to remember who owns her. I'm going to fuck everyone in that rancid shithole, I swear to God. (Vix grabs her)
Vix: (Shouts) Tina! (Chuckles) Think about it. Our brand is perfection. And what do you think chasing whored around town will do for our image?
Valentina: Uh...Fuck it up?
Vix: Right! Do you want people thinking you can't control your employees?
Valentina: No.
Vix: Exactly. And, hey, you still have her under contract. She isn't going anywhere. So you should...?
Valentina: Do nothing?
Vix: Great idea. Now, that's why they pay you the big bucks.
Valentina: (Sighs) But I really wanted to shoot someone. (Grabs her cigarrete and Vix lights it with her hand electricity)
Vix: Well, let me call up the lowest earners this month.
Valentina: Oh, you know me too well. (Chuckles darkly and drags on her cigarrete) You know, Angela isn't the only one spending time at this ratty hotel with Devil's Príncipe.
Vix: Oh, who else is there? Someone who owes you money?
Valentina: (Chuckles) Someone who owes us much more than money. The Radio Demon is there.
(Vix creeps electricity and she scratches a table)
Vix: (Chuckles) What did you just say?
Valentina: You heard me.
Vix: Alice came back and she is with Lucy's son, (Angrily) And wasn't the first fucking thing you told me?!
Valentina: Hey, killing Alice is your kink.
(They watch a video of Alice torturing Miss Pentious, in her airship, with giant tentacles and laughing)
Miss Pentious: Arrgh, Oh! Please! Stop!
Charles: Um, Alastor? I think she's had enough.
Angela: She's got a few more hits in her!
(Miss Pentious tries to grab the floor of the airship but she slippers and falls face on the ground)
Alice: Thanks for another forgetable experience.
(An egg falls near Charles)
Miss Pentious: Thank...You...For letting your guard down! (Rips Alice's coat) Haha! Yah! (Alice's shadow covers her) Oh, shit!
(A green smoke explosion send Miss Pentious flying)
Miss Pentious: Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!
Alice: Well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor. Best of luck, chums.
Vagner: Wait. You're leaving? Alice, we need youd help. We need you to do your job.
Angela: We need a wall.
Alice: Of course. Can't let my new project to fall into disrepair already. What would the paper say?
(Ghost construction workers appear from the ground and Angela pushes Vagner giggling and sides up to them)
Angela: Hey, sweet cheeks. What you doing later? I love a woman with a giant...Tool.
(Valentina watches from a tv)
Valentina: See? Look, at how she flirts with that girl. Annd she's not even paying. Who is that? I'm gonna fucking kill her whole fucking family. Vix? Vix?!
(Vix looks angrily at Alice from the tv)
Vix: That bitch is back!
Valentina: Yeah, I thought she was gone for good too.
Vix: It's been seven years!
Valentina: You still pissed she almost beat that time.
Vix: Uh, fuck you!
Valentina: Just saying.
Vix: Things have changed a lot since she left town.
Valentina: That's for sure.
Vix: I got send a message of who really is in charge of things now!
(Valentina laughs)
(At Vix's officer)
Vix: (Singing) Welcome home! I'm gonna make you wish that you'd stayed gone. Say hello to a new status quo. Everyone knows that there's a brand-new dawn. Turn the TV on! (Camera speeds, rollin' in three, two) Top of the hour, and we're discussing a certain has-been who has been spotted cavorting around town (welcome to the show) After a seven-year absence. Did anybody miss her? (Welcome to the show) Did anybody notice? More on tonight's program. So, the radio demon is back in town. Why is she hanging around? What does that mean for your family? Well handily, I've got good news. She's a loser, a fossil and I don't mean to sound hostile, but the demon is a coward! You can take that as gospel. Pulling my viewers? Impossible! I'm visual, she's barely audible. Stop givin' her the time of day. Don't listen to a word she'd say. I hope he had a nice vacay, but she should've stayed away. While she hid in radio we pivoted to video. Now her medium is gettin' bloody rare. Hell's been better since she split. Where's she been? Who gives a shit!
Alice: (Singing) Salutations! Good to be back on the air.Yes, I know it's been a while since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast! Sinners, rejoice!
Vix: What a dated voice.
Alice: Instead of a clout-chasin' mediocre video podcast.
Vix: Come on!
Alice: Is Vix insecure? Pursuing allure? Flitting between this fad and that, is nothin' working?
Vix: Ignore her chirping!
Alice: Every day, she's got a new format!
Vix: You're lookin' at the future, she's the shit that comes before that!
Alice: Is Vix as strong as she purports or is it based on her support? She'd be powerless without the other Vees!
Vix: Oh, please!
Alice: And here's the sugar on the cream: she asked me join her team!
Vix: Hold on!
Alice: I said no and now she's pissy. That's the tea.
Vix: (Buffering) You old-timey prick. I'll show you suffering!
Alice: Uh-oh, the tv is buffering!
Vix: I'll destroy you, you little...
(The lights on the whole town turn off)
Alice: I'm afraid you've lost your signal!
(At Alice's radio tower in the hotel)
Alice: Let's begin! I'm gonna make you wish that I'd stayed gone! Tune on in! When I'm done, your status quo will know its race is run! Oh, this will be fun!
(Vix sees Alice's silhouette from the tvs and the Radio Demon laughs)
Vix: Fuck!
(At a room, the Vees are reunited around a table with Kin serving drinks to them)
Vix: We have a problem. Alice is getting close to little Prince Morningstar. So our main concern now is ensuring that no deal is never struck with Lucy's brat and that smilling freak.
Veener: Well, how, exactly, are we suppose to stop it?
Valentina: Put something inside them. That's how I get the bitches to behave!
Vix: Well, maybe someone in the inside isn't such a bad idea. Do you think Angela would?
Valentina: Pft. That lanky prick won't even return my calls.
Vix: We need someone who Mister Bleeding-Heart would take in.
Veener: Someone pathetic, desparate, with no direct ties to us.
Valentina: I employ every down on their lucky loser this side of Hell. Who the fuck is left?
Vix: (Scoffs) I think I have just the one.
(Back to the hotel, Charles throws himself face down on one of the sofas)
Charles: (Exhausted) Hmmph!
Angela: So, how'd it go?
Vagner: (Sighs) Not a sigle new recruit.
Angela: Yeah. Well, who would to use their last days not fucking or fighting?
(Someone bangs at the door, Vagner goes to it and see Miss Pentious holding her hat)
Miss Pentious: Why, hello, my dar...(Vagner punches her and points a spear at her) Wait wait wait! (Fells on the ground and stands up her pointing the weapon) I come in peace.
Vagner: What are you doing here?
Charles: Vagner, what's the problme? (Gasps) Oh, hello again.
(Vagner gets out of MA'AM Pentious and she stands up)
Miss Pentious: I didn't come looking for a fight. I, uhhh...I heard that you're helping people. People who want to be better?
Charles: (Gasps) You heard right! Welcome to our home of healing, our resort of restoration, our...
Angela: Are you fucking nuts? This bitch was trying to kill us, like, literally six hours ago. And now you want to bring her in here to live with us?
Charles: Of course! This place is about second chances. And who deserves one more this slithering...slippery...special little woman?
Angela: (To Vagner) Aren't you supposed to protect this place?
(Charles does a puppy face to Vagner)
Vagner: (Sighs) I...Guess she's not much of a threat without the war machine.
(Miss Pentious smiles)
Vagner: Or even with the war machine.
(Miss Pentious' smile faits and Charles hugs Vagner spinning)
Charles: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! Miss Pentious, welcome to Hazbin Hotel! (Walks away)
Miss Pentious: Oh, no, darling. Thank you. You won't regret this. (Enters the hotel)
Angela: Eh, I give you a week. Tops. (Enters the hotel)
(Inside, Hisky drinks at the bar)
Charles: So...this is bar and the bartender. This is the curtain, and this is the new wall after you broke the last one, heh, and, oh, this, this is...(Vagner holds him)
Vagner: Babe, you don't have to show her every detail.
Charles: Sorry, I'm just so excited to have our first real guest!
Angela: Uh, what the hell am I then?
Charles: Well, you're an important part of our family here, Angela. But you, um, uh...
Vagner: Constantly make us look bad, sexually harass the staff, and have literally never once tried to improve?
Charles: What he means is, it's just nice to have someone interested for once.
(Angela lowers her head as Charles enters the lobby)
Charles: Over here, we have our housekeeper, Niffter.
Niffter: (Gasps) The bad girl is back! (Jumps on Miss Pentious) Never leave me again!
Charles: We're about eighthy percent sure he's harmless. And over here we have...(Sees Alice) Oh, uh, Alice, our gracious Facility Manager! You've met our newest guest, Miss Pentious...Heh heh.
Alice: Ah, yes. You're yhe one who ruined my coat. (Sinisterly) I definitely remember you now.
(Miss Pentious gulps nervously)
Charles: Well, I guess this is a great time for your first lesson: (Clears throat) "How to apologize". The first step to becoming a better person is to admit when you're wrong. Why don't you give it a try?
Miss Pentious: Yes, um...Mrs, um, Radio Demon, ma'am, please forgive me for attacking you and ruining your very lovely coat...Um, here...(Hands Alice's coat scrap she take off to herself)
Alice: Oh-ho, not many people have been able to take even this much off me. It must have meant quite a lot for you. (Combusts the piece of the coat into green flames)
(At the lobby)
Charles: Now! With a new resident, I think it's important that we all get to know each other, so we are going to play a little game. Everyone, follow me. My name is Charles. (Claps) I like to sing. (Claps) And when we get to know each other, it's the greatest thing. (Claps and turns to Miss Pentious)
Miss Pentious: My name is Miss Pentious. (Claps) I like to build. (Claps) And despite my stupid Egg Girls, I think I'm very skilled. (Claps)
(Charles and Miss Pentious turn to Angela)
Angela: This is stupid.
Charles: This is not stupid! (Claps) It's just a game! (Claps) Ma'am Pentious did it well and now you have to do same! (Claps)
Angela: I am too sober for this.
Vagner: Well, get used to it and learn how to play. This is gonna be your whole day. (Claps)
(Later, Angela reads a script wearing a trenchcoat and a hat)
Angela: "Oh, I'm a bad man kn the streets who never got enough hugs. Now, where is an innocent kid I can sell crack to?". Wow! Who wrote this?
Charles: Is great, right? Keep going.
Angela: "Hey you."
Miss Pentious: Who, me?
Angela: "Yeah, you look just like a kid who could use some devil's dandruff."? Oh, for fuck's sake!
Miss Pentious: Not me. I have to go home and study.
Angela: "Come on kid, it will make you cool like me...The crack head!"
Miss Pentious: The only cool thing here is to say no to drugs. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to not have sexual intercourse before marriage!
Charles: Yes! Oh, bravo, bravo! Wow, Pentious, at this rate you'll be redeemed in no time.
(Angela hangs her head)
Angela: I...I'm going to bed. (Walks away and stop in one of the stairs steps)
Angela: I am so proud of you, Ma'am Pentious. That was amazing. That was beautiful work!
Miss Pentious: Thank you. Thank you. You like me. You really like me!
(Angel heads upstairs, in her room, she throws the trenchcoat in her pet pig and flops in bed with her phone and plays voice messages from Valentina)
(Voicemail beeps)
Valentina: (In voicemail) Angela, baby, come home. It's not the same without you here. I miss you, vome back. (Shouting) Angela you bitch, if you don't come home, you will fucking greasy truckers for the next year...(In another voicemail) Hey, amorcita, I didn't mean to yell, but you know how crazy you make me f...You fucking slut! (Friendly) Hey, Angie, about earlier...Kill your whole fucking fam...Work's really stressful...Little cocksucking piece of shit...You actually think you can change? Addict trash like you doesn't change. I'll see you soon, baby.
(A red smoke from Angela's phone and surrounds him)
Angela: Sorry. Not now, Fat Nuggets. (Leaves her pig in the bed and leaves the room, she's seem grabbing a bottle at the bar and drinks it while walking) Ahh...
(A sillouette disappears in other room, following it, Angela looks through a door and see Miss Pentious putting a camera between some books and opens the doors)
Angela: You slippery little shit!
(Miss Pentious screams)
Angela: You're working for the Vees? I fucking knew there was something shitty about you.
Miss Pentious: I don't know what you're talking about...Whorebug!
(Angela knocks Miss Pentious down and starts punching her in the face, they both roll on the floor and she is left holding the snake woman)
Miss Pentious: Get your aggressively average body, off of me! (Hipnotizes Angela who backs up)
Angela: Fuck! (Shakes the hipnoze off) (Growls)
(Vagner and Charles show up with their pajamas)
Charles: (Yawn) What's going on?
Angela: This little bitch is a traitor!
Miss Pentious: Preposterous, I would never betray you. You...Are my best friends! (Hugs Vagner and Charles)
Angela: Uh-uh. Then explain this. (Show the camera between the books on the shelf)
Miss Pentious: Ah! Ah! Abort! Abort! S.O.S. Angent Pentious in need of immediat evacuation!
(Pentious' watch shows Vix)
Vix: Pentious?...Wait...You were caught?! (Laughing) It hasn't even been a day!
Miss Pentious: Please, you got to get me put of here!
Vix: I can't believe we thought you could handle even something this simple. Do us a favor, if they don't kill you, go ahead and do it yourself, you miserable failure!
Miss Pentious: (Crying) I...I...Just make it quick, I guess. (Take off her watch and lie down on the floor) Not that I deserve it.
Vagner: Gladly.
Charles: Wait. (Stands her hand) Pentious?
(Pentious raises her head)
Charles: (Singing) It starts with sorry! (Pentious washes her tears away) Charles: That's your foot in the door. One simple sorry. (Puts his hand in her chest) Spoken straigbt from your core. The path to forgivness is a twisting trail of hearts, but sorry is where it starts!
Miss Pentious: (Singing) Who could forgive a dirtbag like me? I don't deserve your amnesty!
Vagner and Angela: (Singing) Can't we just kill her? Shoot her and spill her blood?
Charles: That's an option you could choose.
Vagner and Angela: Works for us!
Charles: But who hasn't been in her shoes? It starsts with (Pulls Miss Pentious) sorry!
Miss Pentious: Sorry!
Charles: Dig down deeper and say one sincere sorry!
Miss Pentious: I'm so sorry!
Charles: And your journey's underway!
Charles and Miss Pentious: It'll take time to cover youmy vast multitude of sins! But sorry is where it begins!
(Fireworks explode Miss Pentious' old sins)
Miss Pentious and Charles: It starts with sorry!
(Niffter is seem at the door)
Niffter: I hated that song! Why are you so lame? (Kicks Miss Pentious) You're not a bad girl! (Walks away angry)
Charles: (Sighs) Good first day. Let's get some rest.
(Everyone walk out of the room, but Alice's teeth and eyes glow in the dark, she enters the room and gets the watcher)
Vix: What?!
Alice: You'll have to try harder then that next time, old pal! (Breaks the watcher)
(Vix screams distorted and Alice laughs diabolically and leaves the room)
(The ending credits start playing)

Author’s Notes:
Finally, I’m back yet again! I finally got the time to write this wonderful little story project again; Senior year of high school has me super busy. I’ll be leaving for Air Force Basic Training in early June to go be a 5th Gen Crew Chief, so expect a roughly 5-6 month hiatus until I can keep writing.
I also got a PS2 emulator running on my PC, so I did a playthrough of each of the three Ace Combat games featured for that console, as well as 7 and Project Wingman. In later parts, you’ll definitely be able to tell the inspiration I got from all of the games.
I forgot to mention this in my last part, but last year I was able to head to Norfolk and see the USS George Washington in person, which was really cool. Writing about it is one thing, but actually getting to go on it and walk around was another experience entirely.
This part was kind of hastily put together to give you guys something to read, since It’s been way too long since I got a part for you. Once I get time after BMT and Tech School, I’ll continue and eventually finish off the story (If I can fit it in between doing MX stuff all day). Story wise, this part is just a setup for the massive port raid that will happen in the next part; I’m planning 2 more parts after that to finish off the story. Overall this project’s been fun, but I have to cap it off eventually.
Happy Reading!
…
“Alright, settle down, settle down.”
All the members of VF-102 quickly stopped talking to each other and looked towards the front of the room.
The CO then pulled down the paper map attached to the ready room wall. He pointed to the large port city that was slightly inland and surrounded by topographical marks denoting mountainous terrain on all sides.
“Before we can hit their fleet in port, we have to get through their coastal defenses.”
The CO pointed to a narrow stretch of water on the map that opened up into the large bay.“
“The kingdom we’re up against were smart with their port city positioning; they have an island in the middle of this strait with a heavy stone fortress on it. From the imagery we were able to collect on it, the fort apparently acts as a naval defense platform for their main port city. In conjunction with the strait, it’s a perfect defensive position to lock down entry and exit into the bay. We’re going to hit the fort today before we hit their fleet early tomorrow.”
Each pilot and RIO nodded in understanding.
“We’re sending four of you up as a two-ship strike package alongside VFA-86. Those assigned to hop today are going to get MK83s with Snakeyes to do the initial strike, and then the Hornets are going to mop up with some Mavericks and Rockeyes. The rest of you flying today are going to run the usual CAP up along the coastline.”
The CO gave out crew assignments for the fort strike package, which included Type and Wizard in Diamondback 110, and another Tomcat crew in Diamondback 113.
“The fort island is roughly Alcatraz Island-sized, so four MK83s rippled should be sufficient enough to crack the outer walls of the fort. Just be careful, as we don’t know if they have any Triple-A or not. Other than that, you guys are dismissed. Good luck out there.”
Type and Wizard hopped up and headed out of the ready room with the other VF-102 pilots and RIOs following. They weaved through the narrow gray halls of the carrier slipping past Sailors while hanging onto their flight bags and helmets.
…
As the evening sun shined down on the carrier deck, Type walked up to the Plane Captain waiting next to Diamondback 110.
“Hi, how’s it going?”
“All good sir, we just pulled the pins and the Ordnance guys just finished up fitting on the Sparrows.”
“Perfect, let’s get rolling with the preflight.”
The Plane Captain nodded, and got to work doing the final preflight check alongside Type and Wizard.
…
After the preflight, Type and Wizard both climbed the ladders to the aircraft and got seated. Both of them fit on their Woodland camouflage-covered helmets and flipped down the dark visors. Type ran through the comms check with Wizard, and started up the aircraft.
After the aircraft was started and all the systems were good, the Sailors on deck pulled out the cart connections and drove it away. Wizard dropped the canopy, and the Director in front marshaled them out from their parking spot.
…
Lining up on Catapult 4 behind 113, Type watched as two of the VFA-86 F/A-18Cs on Catapults 1 and 2 were tandem launched with the other two Hornets waiting behind the blast deflectors. Type brought the Tomcat through the catapult connection process, with the Shooter signaling him in.
…
Both Shooters for 3 and 4 signaled for engine start right as both blast panels were raised. The Cat 3 Shooter knelt down and sent his arm forward, followed by the Cat 4 Shooter.
113 was sent from the deck first, with 110 following soon after. Wizard gripped his handlebars as the Tomcat rattled with the catapult launch, while Type applied backwards stick pressure as soon as the Tomcat left the deck. He quickly pulled the gear switch up as well, rolling left with 113 right as the gear doors sealed.
…
Coming high to Angels 6 at Mil Power, both 102 Tomcats formed up with the Hornets that had CBUs equipped; Sidewinder 402 and 406. The other two Hornets with Mavericks on their wings, Sidewinder 404 and 411, caught up and formed up behind them.
The six-ship traversed north at 450 knots before reaching 5 miles out from the fort.
…
Before they descended in, each aircraft engaged their Master Arm switches and readied up their ordnance. 404 and 411 warmed up their Mavericks, while 113, 110, 402, and 406 each readied up their bombs.
“Warden, 113, Master Arm on.”
“110, Master Arm.”
Type had ‘ORD’ indicated on his HUD, with the impact point cross displayed on the lower end.
In the back, Wizard flicked the weapons station switches for the centerline pylons on and rotated the bomb selector to the ‘Ripple’ setting.
“Scope’s clear, hit the deck and ingress. Cleared hot on target.”
“113 Roger, goin’ in.”
Diamondback 113 pitched down and broke through the heavy cloud layer, with each aircraft following. Each of them reached roughly 500 feet off the water’s surface and leveled off. Sidewinder 404 and 411 split left and right to line up their Mavericks.
Right before they encountered the fort, each pilot noticed a large stone bridge spanning the length of the bay with 113 doing a full 360-degree right roll as the flight passed over it.
402 and 406 slowed down ready to lob their Rockeyes up and into the fort, while 110 and 113 made slight adjustments to line up with the west and east wall lengths of the fort.
Popping up extremely low over the fort’s walls, the Tomcats started the strike.
“Ready for drop….Shit, that’s flak!”
On the walls of the fort, cannon operators quickly tried to react to the airstrike by raising their flak cannons towards the incoming aircraft. Some of them opened up, creating thin stretches of black flak puffs around the four fighter aircraft rapidly approaching.
113 made it over the western wall stretch and dropped their four MK83s, which opened their fins and slowed down behind the aircraft.
With a small delay, Type pulled the trigger for weapons release. Both him and Wizard audibly heard ThThThThunk come from the underside of their aircraft.
“Pickle, Pickle, Pickle!”
…
On the top of the fort walls, archers and flak cannon operators watched with fear-filled wide eyes as large green cylinders with fins slowly came down on them. They accepted their fate as they detonated on impact, blowing stone everywhere and collapsing the wall sections. Ammunition dumps in the walls detonated with a chain reaction, causing even more destruction.
…
The pilot of Sidewinder 404 finished up locking his target on the island; a large naval cannon reminiscent of an Ottoman siege cannon. Looking at his MFD, he noted the lock indication for his Maverick and hit the weapon release, calling out:
“404, Rifle, East Cannon.”
The AGM-65F ignited and slid off its rail with its optics focusing directly on the massive naval cannon, impacting it a short time later. Soon after, a Maverick from Sidewinder 411 impacted the large cannon on the west side of the island, blowing it to bits.
“Shack Cannons, 404, defending Triple-A…”
…
The other two Hornets pitched up into burner with both pilots attempting to line up their HUD CCIP markers on the center of the fort.
As they popped up, the flak started to get more intense. Both pilots pushed into burner to drop quickly.
“406, Pickle!”
“402, Pickle…”
The CBU-100s detached from underneath the Hornets, coming in an upwards arc over the fort. Each bomb split open, releasing a large amount of smaller bomblets which coated the fort’s central structure. Anything or anyone in the blast radius was now dust.
“406, egressing-”
As Sidewinder 406 split left, the Hornet flew through a flak burst and took structural damage. The cockpit was penetrated by metal shards, impacting the pilot in his left arm and torso. He also took hits to the left end of his helmet, with his visor becoming cracked.
“Shit, I’m hit!”
…
Type and Wizard listened over the radio while climbing up back over the clouds with the rest of the aircraft, getting more and more concerned as 406 seethed in pain. Each aircraft was able to egress successfully, but Sidewinder 406 was trailing smoke and was starting to have engine issues as well.
“Warden, 406…..Took a hit…”
“406, Warden copies.”…
Warden relayed the information back to the controllers onboard CVN-73, who scrambled the Crash Teams for the hit Hornet. Sidewinder 406 was brought to the front of the pattern, and lined up for a trap. Getting the most assistance out of his aircraft systems as he could, he successfully put down the Hornet with a 1-wire while fighting his bleeding and severe pain.
A tug quickly pulled the Hornet out of the landing area, allowing the rest of the aircraft to trap. As the canopy raised, the Crash Team Sailors in their silver firefighting equipment pulled the injured pilot out, who was clutching his bleeding shoulder.
…
As Type and Wizard trapped and taxied off of the wires, they looked at the empty and damaged Hornet sitting off to the side.
“Man, hope he’s alright…”
“Yeah, too damn close today.”
They parked their Tomcat, and shut down the aircraft.
…
In the ready room, the CO went over the HUD footage from 110 and 113 for the debrief.
“That’s a mission success, we took out the fort and we have an open path for the port strike in sixteen hours. The only issue is, one of 82’s guys was hit during the strike. Thank God he made it back alive; it would’ve been bad had we lost him out here.”…
With the naval fort down, CVW-1 has a clear opening into the enemy kingdom’s main port for their anti-shipping strike. The injured Hornet pilot serves as a warning for all of them:
This conflict won’t be an easy one.

Got excited, thought I might find a Blockbuster

I have been renovating my Golden Arrow and have 3d printed the wheel rims. Where can I buy the tires and be sure they will fit? I know the car is related to the Nikko Bison/Rhino but the tires for sale don’t look right. Please help.

I have been trying to remember the name of this game, it was around 96-98, I got it in a diskette from a radio shack sales bin… it started with a letter telling me my aunt had passed and I had to go to her estate, upon getting to a very creepy old mansion you had to explore, it was an adventure game. You eventually found out she was a witch and I believe you had to complete her potion, there were several hidden rooms and a cemetery… I remember it being suuuuper creepy, it was point and click style but it might have been only operated with the keyboard…. Any ideas?

You guys know what an alpine coaster is? They are like a small roller coaster you find in the mountains. They are also called summer toboggans or mountain coasters and I think there’s some long German compound word they are called in parts of Europe. They are like a roller coaster, but with much smaller one or two person sleds you just sit on instead of multi-person cars you ride in, and instead of being built with like a scaffolding or a framework the tracks are just on the ground, using the elevation of the mountain. Basically it’s a coaster track on the side of a mountain where you ride a sled down.
They are pretty fun. Or at least I used to think so. They are more “personal” than roller coasters and although you get nowhere near the speed on them that you do on a good traditional roller coaster and they can’t do corkscrews or loops or anything like that the openness and simplicity of the ride gives an impression of a much greater speed. You’re just sitting there with nothing but a little plastic sled and the track between you and the ground as it goes zooming by. It’s like the difference between how fast a go-cart feels compared to how fast a sports car feels. You know the sports car goes faster but the open, simpleness of a go-cart feels a different kind of fast. There’s plenty of POV Youtube videos if you want to get the basic idea of what they are.
I used to love alpine coasters. Used to.
My family used to go to Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge and up and down the Smokey Mountains for vacations when I was a kid and they are common in that area and I’d always rode them every chance I got.
But as with so many things after I grew up and went to college they just became part of my childhood that slipped away. They aren’t exactly common once you get away from the mountains.
Until one cool spring afternoon in 2004. I was in my final year at college and I was driving back to campus in Tennessee after a short visit to my folks in North Carolina. It was only like a 4 or 5 hour drive via the most efficient route and I had no need to be back at campus early so instead of taking the freeway all the way I got off and took part of my trip through the mountains. The scenery was nicer and I admit I liked pushing my Camaro just a little faster than I should through the twisty mountain roads.
Just after lunchtime happened upon one of those little by-the-highway tourist towns deep somewhere in the Smoky Mountains near the Carolina/Tennessee border. Nothing fancy, a gas station/truck stop, a diner, a couple of places selling tourist merch nestled deep in the mountains. I pulled into the gas station. My tank was getting low and I needed to stretch my legs, maybe grab something to eat. It was still early and I only had another couple of hours. I could kill an hour or so and still make it back to campus at a decent hour.
I pulled into the gas station and was filling my tank when I happened to glance across the road and… well I’ll be damned. There it was. “The Blue Ridge Alpine Coaster.” Nestled on the side of the mountain was a building, a mockup of a red barn, where a single railed track that led up into the mountains, where it soon got lost in the greenery. Wooden hand painted standees of cartoon character bears dressed in stereotypical “Hillbilly” getup stood around, some of them holding signs showing the ride hours and ticket costs and other info. I had to admit, as silly as it was, it made me smile.I finished pumping my gas and, well, nostalgia is a helluva thing. I decided then and there I could waste a little time riding an Alpine Coaster again after all these years before getting back on the road.
I parked my car in a corner of the truck stop's parking lot, put my phone in the center console, this being the days before smart phones when people didn’t keep their phones with them 24/7 and I didn’t want my old Nokia brick phone to fall out during the ride, locked my car and walked across the mountain highway to the Alpine Coaster building.
Getting closer, the place was less inviting. The half hearted attempt at a whimsical faux-Americana kitsch was far less effective when it brushed up against the actual decaying, run down wooden building. Hell calling it a building was generous. It was a wood frame holding up a long roof that covered the area where you got on the sleds. The wood boards creaked under my footsteps.
The only real enclosed structure was a shack that held, what I assumed, was a ticket booth. A door on the side had both a single occupancy bathroom with an out of order sign on it. An old Pepsi machine buzzed and glowed next to it.
Still the place looked alive. Ahead of me a bored looking attendant was helping a mother and her young son into one of the sleds while in a bored monotone repeating the safety brief. A few people were waiting in line at the ticket booth. Up in the mountains the playful shouts of people on the ride echoed down. Fond memories of my own childhood rides flooded my mind.10 minutes and 15 dollars later I was settling into the hard plastic seat of a bright red sled sat atop a simple aluminum rail.
I couldn’t help but grin as the sled slowly climbed the track up the mountains, making click-clack ratcheting sounds that hit my nostalgia centers hard. I felt good. The air was cool and crisp and smelled of pine.Higher and higher in the mountains we went. I don’t know if this is my mind trying to make sense of it after the fact but when I remember these moments, the last good moments, I sometimes think I remember a very slight, very subtle pit of fear in my stomach. I honestly don’t know if I felt it at the time or not or it’s just how my mind tries to make sense of it looking back at.
But either way mostly I was enjoying myself. I smiled. I was a kid again. I could hear riders in front of me let out that initial yell of terrified glee you get at the first drop of any good ride.
It peaked. I glanced around. I could see for miles, rolling hills and mountains. I the sled tipped over and zoomed down the mountain and I let out the same happy yell I heard from the other passengers.The ride zoomed down the mountain, catching speed. The mountain forest floor zoomed past, only a few feet under me. Trees zoomed past. I gave out a happy whoop as the ride banked hard around a curve and then looped back under itself.Another dip, another curve. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of the G-forces pulling me every which way.
There was no one exact single moment where things started to go “wrong.” The ride kept going. And going. At this point the first creeping thought entered my head.
The ride… was still going.
It just started to hit me… this ride was going on for a really long time. I had taken a dozen rides on various coasters of this type before that day and they topped out at about 5 minutes or so, and that was the long ones. Longer than a traditional roller coaster but not that long. This one had been going on for what felt like 10, maybe even 15 minutes.
I looked back over my shoulder and could only see trees, moving too fast to really get a bearing on where I was at in relation to anything.
I wasn't exactly really worried yet. Okay so I had found a particularly long alpine coaster. At the time I wasn’t 100% wasn't sure they didn’t exist or anything like that. I was a little… unnerved but nothing was happening that was impossible. Yet.
I was trying to talk myself back into just enjoying the ride and stop overthinking it, and halfway succeeded, when out of nowhere I suddenly banked hard, the track jutting out almost over a sheer cliffside. I gripped the sled more tightly as I was whipped around. The ride then dipped hard and picked up speed, barreling down the side of the mountain.
I was pushed back against the seat by the force of the drop. Jesus I didn’t remember them being this rough. I was feeling slightly nauseous. And where had this elevation drop come from I wondered? I was still in the foothills and I didn’t remember seeing anything but gentle rolling hills and light drops from looking at the ride’s route earlier. How the ride had managed such a long, steep drop in this area I didn’t know. . For the first time I hoped that the ride would be over soon. I had no idea then how much I would want that same hope to be true so much more as time went on.
With a whiplash motion I was whipped forward and then back as the ride leveled out on flat ground again, but by this point I was going fast, too fast. My neck hurt from the mild whiplash and I felt sour in my throat and for a moment the contents of my stomach threatened to come back up. For the first, but hardly the last time the ride felt unsafe. Alpine Coasters are tame affairs, much slower and gentler than full on roller coasters but this thing was throwing me around like no thrill ride I had ever been on.
I looked around. I mean I wasn’t that deep into the woods. I should have been able to see a glimpse of something; the highway, the gas station, the tourist shops, the Alpine Coaster office, something, anything. But nothing. Just trees.
I forced back some panic for the first time. I closed my eyes and counted to ten. The ride zoomed along. I counted to 60. I counted to 60 again. And again. Okay this was getting uncomfortably harder and harder to explain.
Suddenly I noticed that up ahead the track seemed to just end, for one brief, terrible moment I thought the track just ended but I was wrong. Almost without warning the track dipped in an almost vertical drop. I almost screamed as I plummeted for 20, maybe 30 seconds before flattening out again.
By this point the voice in my head that was telling me something was wrong was louder and I could no longer tell myself it was wrong. This ride could not have been this long. I tried to make sense of it, wondering if somehow I had gotten diverted onto some kind of maintenance track or, hell for one brief irrational moment even entertaining the idea that I had wound up on an actual train track somehow. But that was absurd. The rail below me was not a train track, it was still just the simple, aluminum rail of an alpine coaster and there had been no diversions or junctions in the track. I was still on the ride, as insane as that was starting to feel. Had the ride somehow looped? Again after having the thought I immediately dismissed it as crazy. There’s no way I could have missed the ride building where I got on. And what kind of ride loops over and over?
The sled zoomed through the forest, oddly never seeming to lose speed despite the relatively flat grade of the track. I cursed myself for leaving my phone in the car and not wearing a watch. I don’t know exactly how long I had been on the ride at that point but it felt like I had been on the ride for a half hour, maybe more. But time is a funny thing when you’re in a situation you’ve never been in. Could have been more, could have been less, at that point.
My pride finally failed me. I started to scream for help. I screamed out that the ride was broken, to stop it, that I needed help. I did that for about ten minutes or so I think. The ride kept going. Mostly flat, level track with occasional mild dips and turns. But the simple length of the ride grew more and more unnerving and unexplainable.
I thought about just bailing out. But the ride, impossibly, was still not slowing down and chunks of mountain rock and thick tree trunks were all around me. Bailing out without risking smashing into a rock or a tree seemed impossible.
The ride kept going.
Up ahead the forest was clearing out some, I could see the forest brightening, more sunlight making it through the canopy.
I wasn’t prepared for what I saw.
The trees stopped and I had just enough time to take in a flat, open area of rock maybe 40, 50 yards at most before another sheer cliff. The tracks twisted and turned and then shot straight down. But that wasn’t the worst of it. For a moment, a very short moment, I had a clear view for miles and the landscape was, to be blunt, totally impossible. Any possibility that I had just stumbled on some incredibly long ride was blasted out of my head. Barren, volcanic looking rock stretched for miles. Jagged, black rocky outcroppings as far as the eye could see. I was in the goddamn Smoky Mountains. They don’t look like that.
I had a few moments for the terror of that view to settle in before the cart plunged into another horrifying drop. I gripped the handles of the cheap plastic sled until my knuckles turned white. The drop felt completely vertical, like I was falling at terminal velocity. I screamed. My stomach dropped and turned. I imagined the sled coming away from the track and me just plummeting screaming to my death on the rocks below. But somehow the ride still functioned. I closed my eyes tightly and just waited for whatever was going to happen. Eventually after several what felt like a full minute of steep plunging the track again leveled out, and I opened my eyes to see myself moving at breakneck speed over that black, rocky landscape.
Now that I was moving on a more or less flat horizontal track again I took a few deep breaths. I looked over the edge of the track. Nothing but that black, jagged rock, almost looking like obsidian, zooming past. I had no idea how fast the sled was moving now. Fast. Faster than a gravity powered sled should be moving. And the track was higher off the ground now. Alpine slides usually stick pretty close to the ground, but I was 20 feet or so in the air, the track suspended in the air, a simple metal tube tower like a power pylon every few yards.
Without any immediate threat and the sled moving fast but steadily and level I was able to think about my situation again, for all the good that did me. Ahead of me the track just continued to the horizon, nothing but the same rocky landscape as far as I could see. I craned my neck to look back over my shoulder and looked back behind me and it looked the same. Even the mountains were but distant specs on the horizon behind me.
This was insane. There’s not a giant seemingly endless field of black jagged rock in the goddamn Smoky Mountains. There’s no cliff faces tall and steep enough for a multi-minute vertical drop. And alpine coasters were small affairs, not major engineering projects that span miles with pylons and vertical tracks. It made no sense.
Sadly it wasn’t going to start making any more sense anytime soon.
The ride kept going.
I was on this rocky landscape for several hours. I feel comfortable saying this because I could actually notice the sun getting lower in the sky. And the sled wasn’t slowing down despite the grade of the track being flat. I was getting cramped from sitting and stretched my legs and twisted my back as best I could. Didn’t do much help. My eyes were starting to get irritated from the constant wind in them. Worst of all it was starting to get chilly. I only had on a light jacket, a windbreaker, just something to keep the breeze off me, no real insulation. I was cold, my joints were stiff, I was hungry and thirsty. My eyes watered and my throat was so dry it was sore.
But none of that was as bad as just how little sense this all made. There’s nothing like this place anywhere near the Smoky Mountains. This was like some volcanic rock landscape. The more I thought about it the less sense it made.
The ride kept going.
My mind didn’t even try to process this. Whatever I was experiencing simply couldn’t be possible. I was crazy. I was dreaming. The CIA had kidnapped me and dosed me with some new version of LSD and I was in a straightjacket in a padded room at Area 51.
The sled kept zooming along as the sky turned to dusk. Soon the bridge disappeared from my view and I continued on along the endless, rocky, featureless landscape.
I sat back against the sled, mentally and physically numb. I was exhausted. I was thirsty. I was cramping up. I was hungry. I had to pee. I held it for as long as I could, then had no choice but just wet myself. I cried until I had no more tears left. Then I just sat there.
The ride kept going.
By the time the sun dipped below the horizon my throat felt like sandpaper. I dug around in my jacket pockets hoping to find a stick of gum or piece of candy. Nothing. I checked again, having nothing else to do. Under a crumpled store receipt in the inner pocket of my jacket was a single old, forgotten cough drop. I unwrapped it from the paper and popped it in my mouth. Saliva flooded back into my mouth and I was overwhelmed by the methanol and medicine taste. It was something at least, although I knew it would be a brief and temporary fix at best.
I felt my eyes get heavy. It was getting colder. That mountain cold. That deep cold the mountains have even into the early spring when the sun goes down. That kind that just pulls the heat right out of you. I shivered. A terrible, horrible certainty came to me. I would ride until I passed out from exhaustion or the hypothermia set in. My body would tumble off the sled to fall and skip across the rocky ground like a stone skipping across a lake, my bones breaking as I tumbled until my body finally came to a stop. If I was lucky I would be killed and not have to lie for days, broken and bruised, on the ground until death took me.
The ride kept going. The ride kept going. The fucking ride kept going.
“Fuck you” I said to the ride, my voice a horse whisper. I pulled my jacket closer around me, for all the good it did. The cold wind was slowly but surely pulling my body heat away. My shivering got worse, crossing the line from a simple normal shiver into those deep, almost violent full body ones.. I wasn’t anything you could call an experienced outdoorsman, but I knew enough to know that wasn’t a good sign.
It was getting dark. There was a full moon at least so I wasn’t totally in the dark.
About then I noticed something. The landscape, what little I could see in the fading light, was changing. It was smoothing out, becoming less rocky and craggy. Up ahead an odd, shimmering light was starting to appear on the ground.
I was over it before I even realized what it was. The tracks were going over a smooth surface.
Water. It was a lake. The odd lights I had seen were the moon, reflected in ripples on the lake.
Within minutes I was out of the view of the land. After the nearly endless rocky landscape and everything else I had seen, it scared me how little I was shocked. I didn’t like how mentally numb I was getting. I leaned over. There was enough moonlight to see the water, 15 or 20 feet below the track. The pylons holding up the track went into the water, the light wasn’t good enough to even make a guess at how far they went down or how deep the water was.I leaned back in the sled. My eyes were red and bloodshot from the constant wind. I closed them. This was a mistake.I jerked awake. I don’t know if I dozed off for a split second or an hour. My weight had shifted and I caught myself as my center of gravity was in danger of sending me off the sled and into the water.
I screamed in anger. A deep primal scream. I hurt so bad. My joints felt like they were full of glass. My limbs were full of pins and needles. I glanced over at the water. For the first time on the very edges of my brain a tiny voice started to speak up, telling me that I could be all over if I just jumped. I shut the voice up, but it scared me still.
I sat there as the ride went on. It felt like hours. Eventually the lake ended in a rocky shore line. The damned ride. There was no safe place to bail out. If the ride slowed down, it was high in the air, if it moved toward the ground it sped up. Sharp rocks, big trees, nothing you could safely bail out into.
I kept having to force myself awake. I kept dozing off. Once I felt myself falling asleep and drove a vicious uppercut into my own nose to stave it off.
I seriously started to think about how much longer I could hang on. The voice came back again. This time I didn’t shut it up. I wasn’t admitting it to myself yet, but I was starting to think about the best way to land that would end it quickly if I needed to.
Something was ahead. The track seemed to dip into the ground. I was too tired, too beaten to even get scared. I was just resigned to whatever happened at this point.
With little warning the track took my sled into a tunnel in the ground. Everything went completely pitch black. After several moments even the dim moonlight was gone.
This was the worst part. The creepy forest, the immense rocky landscape, the eerie lake… those were bad. But this was just nothing. Nothing to look at, nothing to hear, nothing for reference or sense of where I was going. The walls of the tunnel felt like they were inches from me in every direction. The air felt thick, like there wasn’t enough oxygen.
With every moment I was in that tunnel I lost a little more hope. After a long, long time I made a decision. When I got out of this tunnel, I would jump. I didn’t care anymore. Hopefully there would be a spot where I could be certain the fall would instantly kill me. I was done. The ride had beaten me. I sat there, waiting for a chance to end this on my terms. That was all I had left.
Eventually up ahead, a tiny speck of light appeared. I gathered my strength, ready to end it. I sat up, getting my legs under me so I could jump as soon as we were clear. The sled burst out of the tunnel. The dim light of the full moon was enough to be momentarily blinding after the pitch black of the tunnel.. I gave my eyes a moment to adjust.
I was back in a normal looking Appalachian forest. Rolling hills, green trees. The air smelled of pine again. I heard an owl hoot off somewhere.
Slowly I lowered myself back into a setting position, in shock. At first I refused to believe it but the ride was slowing down. I held still, making sure my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me, but no, the cheap plastic sled that had been my world for what felt like an eternity was slowing down.
Up ahead, a structure was visible, peeking out from among the trees in the dim lighting as the sled moved down the track.
It was the Alpine Slide building. The crappy fake red barn where I had boarded this cursed ride so long ago. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, sure it was either my mind or the cursed ride playing tricks with me. But the building stayed there.
It grew closer and closer. The track leveled completely out. The sled slowed down more. Before I had the time to really come to terms with it I arrived back at the building.
The sled slowed to a stop, gently pumping against another sled parked on the track. I sat there for a few moments, gasping in great big gulping fear breaths, trying to assure myself the ride didn’t have one last trick of its sleeve.
I looked around. The place was empty, deserted. The overhead lights were still on and the old Pepsi machine still glowed and buzzed, but the ticket booth was dark and empty, a metal gate pulled down over the ticket window.
Suddenly it hit me that I was free and I practically leapt out of the sled and onto the platform. I immediately collapsed. My legs were jelly and my head was spinning. I tried to stand up again and doubled over, dry heaving. Have you ever been out on a boat for a day and have that weird reverse motion sickness when you’re back on solid land? It was like that times a hundred. My inner ear was literally pounding, all the motion had really done a number on it.
I laid there for a few moments and eventually forced myself to stand up on my two wobbling legs. I looked around, a horrible certainty creeping into my mind that there would be no exit, no way off the platform but to my relief an exit turnstyle, one of those full height ones, was set into the fence that surrounded the ride property.
I went through it and found myself back on the main road. The truckstop was still there, still open but far less busy. My car sat in the same corner of the parking lot I had left it.
I allowed myself one look back, just one quick one. The metal skeleton of the Alpine Slide track sat there, dark and quiet but otherwise normal.
I stumbled-ran back to my car, dug the keys out of my pocket, and collapsed inside. When the door shut I let out a primal scream, the tons of fear and confusion and anger all fusing into a single, raw emotion. I screamed again and again.
After a few moments I felt like I was emotionally at least back to a place where I could act, although I wasn’t sure yet what to do next. Not really knowing what to do I cranked the car. The A/C had been on low when I shut off the car and it came roaring back to life and cold air blowing on me almost sent me back into a full on panic attack. I fumbled with the climate controls until the air stopped blowing directly on me, then calmed down enough to turn the heat on, helping to get the chill out of my bones. There was a half full bottle of water in the center console cup holder and I grabbed it and chugged it. Nothing ever tasted as good before or sense as that few ounces of water.
That was when I noticed the clock on the radio head unit. It was 4:17 in the morning. It had been about one, one thirty or so in the afternoon when I got on the accursed ride.
Over 15 hours. I had been on the goddamn ride for over 15 hours. Over half a day.
I just sat there. Warming up. Calming down. I was exhausted. I was dehydrated. I can’t even describe how my head felt. I probably had at least a minor case of hypothermia. I thought about going into the gas station and asking for help but what would I even say, and more than anything I just wanted to get away from this place. And I just wanted to get away. I wanted to be nowhere near that damn ride.
I put the Camaro in gear and pulled into the street and in panic I immediately slammed on the brakes. I was lucky there was no traffic on the road at that moment. The feeling of accelerating to just normal surface street speeds made me sick to my stomach. I gathered myself and very slowly accelerated the car I usually treated with a very heavy foot up to 30 miles an hour. Every time I tried to accelerate at a pace faster than “Old Lady Going to Church, Uphill” I would have a panic attack. I was okay once I was up to speed, but accelerating freaked me out after being on that ride.
I drove about 30 minutes, putting some arbitrary amount of distance between myself and the coaster. Eventually I made it back to where the twisty mountain road met back up with a major road that would eventually meet back up with the highway. After a few more minutes of driving I saw the onramp for the highway. There was one of those big truckstop travel plazas and pulled in, parking right up at the door. I smelled like pee and I can only imagine how I looked, but I didn’t care.
I kept a couple of emergency 20s in the back of my wallet and spent it on the biggest bottle of water the store had, an overpriced bottle of eye drops, and a huge travel mug of coffee. The clerk looked at me as if he was expecting me to either drop dead or rob him the entire time.
Back in my car I downed the coffee. I put a few eye drops in each of my eyes and sat there as the caffeine took effect until I felt like I could make it back to my apartment. The sun was just coming up when I finally pulled out of the truck stop and got on the freeway. I slowly, very slowly, accelerated up to highway speed, put the Camaro in cruise control, and let the miles start to drift away. I turned on the radio, I needed to hear human voices. Every time my mind went back to what had just happened I turned the radio up louder, eventually drowning it out with painful levels of rock music. I wasn’t ready to think about it yet. Yes looking back I know I was just in denial. I finally made it back to the crappy little apartment I had off campus, a little two story walk up studio. I let myself in and collapsed on the cheap couch. I was asleep before I even had the time to decide whether or not to do anything else. I woke up later that afternoon. I took a shower and ate a meal and didn’t think about the ride. I washed the pee stained filthy clothes I had been wearing and didn’t think about the ride. I went back to class and didn’t think about the ride. Every time I thought about the ride I forced it out of my head. I’m sure this wasn’t the most mentally healthy thing to do but what can you say?
I didn’t forget about it, don’t be silly. This isn’t the kind of thing you forget. One day while looking up something else in the university’s library my curiosity got the better of me and I looked up the Alpine Slide. No website but a few Google Map and Yelp mentions. None of them mentioned anything weird, certainly nothing even remotely like what I experienced. Near as I can tell it closed sometimes in the winter of 2012.
Life went on. I mean, that’s what it does. The next day was a little better. And the day after that a little better. And the day after that a little better still. I met a nice girl. Graduated. Got married. Got a nice house in the suburbs. Got a dog. Had a daughter. Spent a lot of time happy and not thinking about being trapped on an endless alpine coaster.And that was my life for many, many years after that.
Until a few weeks back when as a very different person I found myself driving a boring and safe mid sized family SUV through those same mountains. My wife Carol, 5 months pregnant, sat in the passenger seat, our 6 year old daughter Emily in a booster seat in the back, and Max our mixed breed mutt next to her. It had been a nice pleasant trip, driving back from visiting her folks.
I hadn’t thought about that fucking ride in so long I barely registered that I was in the same general area until it was too late. Suddenly I realized that little mountain tourist trap town was only a few minutes down the road. I swallowed hard and gripped the steering wheel hard. Carol was looking out the window at the scenery and Emily was deep into some kid’s Youtube video on an iPad. I forced myself to keep my breath steady as we rounded the corner.The town was still there, sorta. Time had not been kind to it. The gas station was still there, at some point it had been bought out by Shell. The tourist trap shops were still there. One of them was now a vape shop. The diner was closed, the building looking like it sat unused for a long time.
But of course that’s not what I cared about. A looked over at the site where the Alpine Coaster once stood. It was gone. The kitschy fake barn was gone. The site was just a bare concrete slab with a chainlink fence around it. Faded “no trespassing” and “for sale” signs hung off the fence. A pile of old, decaying lumber that might have once long ago been part of the structure covered part of the old lot. No sign of the track remained outside of some old concrete support posts dotting the side of the mountain.
I exhaled out a breath I hadn’t even realized I had been holding in. Soon the little town disappeared in my rear view mirror.
About a half hour later we stopped for gas. I pulled up to a gas pump across from a massive motorhome. Max stuck his head out the window and started barking at a little white dog, a toy breed of some kind, in the window of the motorhome. Carol and Emily immediately headed into the store to restock on snacks while I fueled up.
I stood there, a half smile on my lips as Max barked and wagged his tail in an attempt to attract the attention of the other dog while I filled up the tank, said dog doing an admirable job of ignoring him.
Right about the time I finished fueling up and cleaning the bugs off the windshield Carol returned from inside the store, Emily in tow, arms filled with two full sized bags of Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips and what looked to be a half dozen individually wrapped pickles.
I raised an eyebrow at the collection of food but knew better than to question a pregnant woman's snack choices.
“Should we take Max for a quick walk?” Carol asked. The travel plaza had a nice little gated dog walking area off to the side.
“Yeah probably not a bad idea, he’s been cooped up in the car for a few hours.” I said. Max, upon hearing his name and the word “walk” , forgot about the other dog and upgraded from wagging his tail to wagging his entire body while making whining sounds and staring right at me.
About this time I became half aware that the big motor home next to us was pulling away. I didn’t think much of it, outside of doing a quick automatic mental check to make sure Emily was well clear of the moving vehicle, but she was safely between me and our SUV, well out of the way.
But that was when Emily looked behind me and cheerfully yelled “Daddy look a roller coaster! Can I ride the coaster?”
It’s cliche as fuck I know but my blood went cold.
I turned around slowly, certain in my knowledge that terrible old decrepit Alpine Coaster would be there, having just popped into existence to trap me again.
That.. is not what I saw. Sure enough there was a coaster there, one I hadn’t noticed earlier because it had mostly been blocked by the motor home, but there it was. It was even an Alpine Coaster.
But it was not the same coaster I had encountered those years ago. That was immediately obvious. It was a small but modern and newish looking setup with neon lights and a bunch of people. There was an actual building where you bought tickets and a little snack stand.
“Daddy! Can we go on the coaster!” Emily asked again.
My mouth made motions but no words came out. I glanced over at Carol, hoping she’d say we didn’t have time but to my horror she smiled and said “You know what? That does sound like fun. Daddy will take you while I take Max for a walk.”
My mind raced, trying to think of a way to get out of it. But Emily was already dragging me across the parking lot to the entrance.
I patted my pocket, making sure my phone was in it. Every fiber of my being was screaming to run away. I slept walked through the line and the ticket booth while Emily bounced happily.
We got into a two seat plastic sled. This one was actually a lot nicer than the one my mind wouldn’t stop thinking about. It had two nice cushioned seats, big grab handles, even a nice rollbar.
The sled started up the track. I fought back the panic. I swerved my head around, keeping the building in my view. I was terrified of losing sight of it. We made it to the top and Emily did a happy squeal as we started down the side of the mountain.
My heart raced. Any second, any second my mind told me we’d lose sight of the building and then the ride would never end. The ride sped down the mountain. My mind tortured me with thoughts of not only going through it again, but seeing Emily go through it. The ride went around a big, banking turn. Emily kept shouting happily. How long before Carol reported us missing I wondered? Could I keep Emily calm? What if it lasted even longer this time? What if this time it never ended?
And then we were back at the start of the ride. The same attendant who had helped us into the sled was helping Emily out. I stepped out. The attendant gave me a brief look but said nothing. I guess I looked a little wild eyed.
I was fine. Emily was fine. It had been a perfectly normal, fun ride.
“That was fun Daddy! Thank you!” Emily said. I forced a smile back. “It was fun.” I responded, hoping like I sounded like I meant it.
I took Emily’s hand and we walked back to the car. Max saw us coming and barked happily. Carol looked up from the pint of Ben and Jerry’s she had somehow acquired and added to her snack collection while we were gone and smiled at us.
“Did you have fun?” she asked.
“It was so fun Mommy!” Emily said.
Carol smiled down at her, but then looked at me and frowned. “Are you okay?” Carol could read my face a lot better than the attendant could. “You’re pale.”
I smiled and this time the smile felt real. “Ya know what. Yeah, I think I am okay.”
Carol looked a little puzzled, but didn’t press it. We loaded Emily back in her booster seat, stopped Max from trying desperately to eat half a discarded gas station hot dog off the ground and got him back in the car. Carol and her small collection of snack food took her place in the passenger seat and I got in the driver's seat.I smiled. I cranked the car. I put it in gear. I pulled out of the gas station and back on the road, this time accelerating just a little faster than I had in years.