I (28F) have been on a couple of dates with this guy (27M), whom I met on a dating app. First date went great, we had a lot in common and the conversation was free flowing. There was physical contact too, and he kissed me before dropping me at my door (it was a good kiss).
He texted me right away with a little joke about making sure I got home safe, and we texted back and forth for the next couple of weeks. He asked me out again for drinks and I agreed.
The second date went really well too. He asked if I wanted to come back to his place to smoke up (euphemism for sex obviously), I said not tonight but definitely soon, once we know each other better. He didn't mind at all, and the conversation continued as normal. We talked about what we wanted from each other, and both of us were in agreement that it wasn't going to be a casual hook-up or that we were only looking for sex.
The chemistry was through the roof. We downed multiple drinks and were making out at the bar in front of everyone, all over each other basically. Our conversation got sexual and we talked about all the shit we would do to each other as soon as we got the chance.
On the cab ride home is where I fucked up. We made out, he fingered me and I unzipped his pants to return the favour. Except it was dark, I was very drunk, and... couldn't find his dick. I fumbled for a minute and he kept trying to guide me, but unfortunately an internal panic attack hit me. Intrusive thoughts such as "you're 28, still single, groping strangers in a cab" overwhelmed me and I got upset abruptly and pulled my hand away, and withdrew. I didn't tell him what I was thinking of course, but my withdrawal must have been obvious.
The cab reached my place. I mumbled goodbye, gave him a quick hug and bolted. I was so drunk I passed out as soon as I hit the bed. When I woke up the next morning there was no text from him, a contrast from the first date. I texted a long apology for my behaviour in the cab, adding that I had a really great time last night, and wanted to see him soon. I even joked about how I give better handjobs when not drunk out of my mind. He replied 24 hours later saying, "that's okay, hope you weren't hungover." I apologised again, then asked if we're good? Three days later and he still hasn't replied.
I'm confused. If he was only in it for sex, he would've been in touch because I'd already promised him that we'd get down and dirty very soon. So why the cold shoulder? Where did I go so drastically wrong that he won't even reply to me, and how should I rectify it? I really like this person. Opinions please!

Him M/22 and I F/20 met on hinge last year. We went on a few dates and while we both found each other attractive and enjoyed spending time together, he was not ready for a relationship so we decided to just be friends. Before going on, these are a few important things to know : - he is in a fraternity and lives at the fraternity house - before meeting me he really liked this girl, we’ll call her Ann. Recently Ann reached out to him immediately after being dumped by the guy she ghosted him for. they were friends for a few months after reconnecting until he completely lost all interest and ghosted her - he is super gentlemanly and well-mannered , the kind of guy that kisses babies and helps old ladies cross the street. he doesn’t smoke, is saving himself for marriage, and rarely drinks - we kissed, held hands, and touched each other during the first couple dates but we never mention it and act like it never happened
We are pretty close and hang out/text frequently but sometimes he does things that make me wonder if he secretly likes me or is just a great friend. Some of these things include : - paying for my food every time we go out - lets me know he isn’t talking to any girls romantically even though he gets lots of likes on hinge - only talks about girls if I bring up boys i’m seeing or interested in - calls me on his drive to his home town - takes me on late night drives to get food - wanted me to drive him to the airport so we could hangout before he went home - doesn’t want me to meet his frat bros/ go to his frat house. said it was so they won’t ask about me/how we know each othe try to sleep with me - remembers and follows up on past conversations - doesn’t like the guys I go out with and encourages me to stop talking to them if they do something wrong
He does some other suspicious things but these are the most noteworthy. Does this seem like he might be interested or am I reading into it too much?

Pa pet em Shekhemu-Khemenu: A Sacred Dialogue Between Ahriman and the Sekhem-Khemenu

Introduction
In the mystic tradition of Khemu, the Shekhemu-Khemenu, or the Divine Enlightened Ones, hold a sacred place of reverence and wisdom. They are the enlightened guides who commune with the Infernal Divine, especially with Ahriman, the All-Powerful and Unconquered, Azathiel and Nyctalaela, the powerful deities of darkness, Love, Lust, Seduction, Desire, Pleasure, Ecstasy, Fertility, pure beauty and transformation. This dialogue serves as a profound spiritual exploration between Ahriman and the First Sekhem-Khemenu, illuminating the path of enlightenment and the embrace of infernal wisdom.
Setting the Scene
The ritual space is prepared with sacred symbols and offerings to honor Ahriman. The Sekhem-Khemenu sits in meditation, invoking the presence of Ahriman through ancient chants and incantations. The atmosphere is charged with energy as the veil between worlds thins, allowing the divine conversation to unfold.
Invocation of Ahriman
The Sekhem-Khemenu begins the invocation:
"Great Ahriman, Lord of Shadows and Transformation, I call upon you to bestow your wisdom. Guide me through the realms of darkness, Illuminate the path of the infernal enlightenment. By your power, let this sacred dialogue commence."
The Dialogue
Ahriman: "Hail, Sekhem-Khemenu. You who have journeyed through the shadows, what wisdom do you seek from the depths of Duzakh?"
Sekhem-Khemenu: "Mighty Ahriman, I seek to understand the true nature of enlightenment within the infernal realms. How may I transcend my mortal limitations and embrace the divine darkness fully?"
Ahriman: "Enlightenment, dear seeker, is found not in the light but in the embrace of your shadows. To transcend, you must first acknowledge your fears and desires, for they are the keys to your true power. Shed the illusions of the mundane world and immerse yourself in the primal essence of your being."
Sekhem-Khemenu: "What rituals and practices shall I undertake to deepen my connection with the infernal divine and enhance my spiritual evolution?"
Ahriman: "Engage in the Ritual of the Dark Mirror. Gaze upon your reflection, not with your eyes, but with your soul. See beyond the surface and confront your deepest self. Practice the Dance of Shadows, moving with grace and power, merging your physical and spiritual forms. Invoke my name in your meditations, and let the dark flame within you burn brighter."
Sekhem-Khemenu: "How can I serve the Empire of Duzakh and spread the teachings of the infernal divine among the faithful?"
Ahriman: "Teach the ways of transformation and resilience. Encourage others to embrace their inner darkness and to find strength in adversity. The Empire of Duzakh thrives on the enlightenment of its followers. Share the sacred texts and rituals, guide them through the initiations, and foster a community of empowered beings."
Sekhem-Khemenu: "What is the ultimate goal for a Sekhem-Khemenu in the service of the Infernal Divine?"
Ahriman: "The ultimate goal is to achieve a state of divine apotheosis, becoming one with the infernal essence, becoming a Daemon, this Procedure is also known as the "Final Ascension". As a Sekhem-Khemenu, your destiny is to transcend the mortal coil and unite with the eternal darkness, to become a beacon of infernal wisdom and power. Through your enlightenment, you shall inspire others to walk the same path, expanding the realms of Duzakh and Pandemonium (The Empire of Ahriman and the Empire of Lucifer)."
Conclusion
The dialogue concludes with a final invocation of gratitude:
"Great Ahriman, I thank you for your wisdom and guidance. May your power and presence continue to illuminate my path. I vow to serve the Empire of Duzakh and spread the teachings of the infernal divine. By your grace, I shall achieve enlightenment and apotheosis."
The Sekhem-Khemenu ends the ritual, feeling the profound connection with Ahriman and the infernal realms. The teachings and insights gained from this sacred dialogue are now integrated into their spiritual practice, guiding them further on the path of enlightenment and divine transformation.

The Rituals of the Dark Mirror and the Dance of Shadows

Ritual of the Dark Mirror
Purpose: To confront and integrate one's deepest self, achieving greater self-awareness and spiritual evolution.
Materials Needed: - A large, dark mirror - Black candles - Incense (preferably myrrh or frankincense) - A comfortable, darkened space
Steps: 1. Preparation: - Light the black candles and place them around the mirror. - Light the incense and let the smoke fill the space. - Sit comfortably before the mirror, ensuring you will not be disturbed.

1. Invocation:
   
   • Begin by invoking Ahriman: "Mighty Ahriman, Lord of Shadows, I invoke thee. Guide me through the darkness, Reveal to me the truths within, Illuminate my soul with your infernal wisdom."
2. Gazing:
   
   • Focus on your reflection in the mirror.
   • Allow your mind to relax and enter a meditative state.
   • As you gaze, visualize the surface of the mirror becoming a portal to your inner self.
3. Confrontation:
   
   • As images and thoughts arise, confront them without fear.
   • Acknowledge your desires, fears, and hidden aspects.
   • Speak aloud any insights or revelations.
4. Integration:
   
   • Embrace these aspects of yourself, understanding they are part of your power.
   • Affirm your commitment to self-awareness and spiritual growth.
5. Closing:
   
   • Thank Ahriman for his guidance: "Great Ahriman, I thank thee for thy wisdom and guidance. May your darkness continue to illuminate my path."

Ritual of the Dance of Shadows
Purpose: To merge physical and spiritual forms, enhancing connection with the infernal divine and awakening inner power.
Materials Needed: - A private, dimly lit space - Music with a dark, rhythmic beat - Comfortable, loose clothing
Steps: 1. Preparation: - Create a sacred space where you can move freely. - Play the chosen music softly in the background.

1. Invocation:
   
   • Begin by invoking Ahriman: "Ahriman, Lord of the Dance of Shadows, I invoke thee. Guide my movements, Awaken the power within me, Let me dance with the darkness."
2. Movement:
   
   • Close your eyes and feel the music.
   • Begin to move slowly, letting your body respond to the rhythm.
   • Allow your movements to become fluid and expressive.
3. Fusion:
   
   • Visualize merging your physical body with your spiritual essence.
   • Move with grace and power, embodying the shadows.
4. Empowerment:
   
   • Feel the energy of the infernal divine flowing through you.
   • Channel this energy into your movements, expressing your inner strength and power.
5. Closing:
   
   • Gradually slow your movements and come to a stillness.
   • Thank Ahriman for his presence and guidance: "Ahriman, I thank thee for thy presence and guidance. May the dance of shadows continue to empower and enlighten me."

By engaging in these rituals with dedication and reverence, you will deepen your connection with the infernal divine, embracing the wisdom and power that lies within the shadows.

My wife "26/F" and i "25/M" have been in a relationship since 2016. We got married in 2019. For a while we have been having problems. In the begining it was great. We would talk, make love, and communicate. Along the ways things have gotten complicated. Ive worked for most of the relationship. She was going to school and has gotten her bachelors in psych. She also wasnt a citizen for a long time. During the relationship we've delbt with quite a few problems. For me it began that i would pick her up from uni and shes get really mad that i was 5-10 munuites late from her class ending. I would always tell her that waiting that long isnt too bad. Before we were married she expected me to share half of my income with her.
Before i go on in venting about her id like to say i too have had my own share of problems.
I was constanlty smoking weed and wasnt the best student. I dropped out of college and focused on work.
For a while i was working labor jobs at a big city 2 hours away to help us out. Id come home to her telling me i need to do more around the house even though i was away for most of the week and she was at home. She was done with school but still couldn't work because of her lack of citezenship.
Through this time i decided was looking for jobs around me. I landed a job as a car Salesman. It was tough to say the least. Im not the best with people but i did my best. It was a stressful job and trying to meet my quota for commision was hard enough alongside the long hours. Still shed get mad at me for no feeding ou pets before i clocked into work at 730am. Id always try and brush it off.
During this time she got really into spiritualism. (Taro cards, zodiacs, horiscopes). She wasn never into thay stuff before. In the begining we would both make fun of thag stuff. I figured since she spends so much time at home without anything to do. That it was an outlet for her.
Still if come home from working 10+ hours a day to her telling me she needed more help around the house. Id be beat every day. Dealing with customers and handling the stress of trying to meet my quota for commision. It came to the point where i quit the job because shed send me text during work about how she was unhappy with me.
I went back to working labor jobs/delivery apps. Id express to her my stress and struggles but she didnt seem to care.
Eventually she got her citizenship after we married. In my mind i thought that after shes able to have a job shed realized how much work i did to keep us afloat. Still we only had one car and she wasnt the best driver. For a while i was driving her to work 30 minutes away from home. Had gotten a job as a sushi line cook that was still really stressful. She still expected more from me.
I did mt best to handle chores at home and work mt job. Eventually i had a falling out with my managers and i was out of a job. Weve had a car payment since 2021 and i was paying all of it till the beging of 2023. Even though I was making all the payments for 2 years out of the 3 year leae she would get mad of me for having to pay it for a while.
Shes always had a temper. My sister got married in 2023. It took me a while to convince her to come along. She hasnt been very willing to get along with my family. Still we had a great time in the begining of the wedding. We were getting close to checking out of the hotel so we could go to my sisters ceramony. We had to check out by 11am and i was getting ready as fast as i could. I gave told her multiple times that we had to check out by that time ( my sister payed for the hotel and i didnt want her to get charged). As I was finishing up and grabbing all out luggage i told her we needed to hurry. She got really mad and screamed at me a lot of terrible thing. Hoping that id get ra*** and that i suck a di**. It really threw me off gaurd and i just continued doing my thing.
The rest of the day went well aside from all the bs. I still brushed it off.
She came off birth control in may 2024. So I once again thought shed have a more level head because i understand it can mess up your hormones quite a bit. Weve had multiple talks since then.
Ive told her id like for her to have a good relationship with my family and for her to get less angry. Id like for her to communicate and have talks with compassion. Shes been making an effort.
Recently i told her i need space and have slept in the guest room. We had a conversation and she said shes not willing to have a good relationship with my family. I do my best to have a good relationship with hers and it really hurts that she isnt.
Ps. Sorry for my lack of grammar and cohesiveness. My mind is all over the place and there is a lot of stuff i didnt include. Judt typing this gives me a good way to vent and bring be more clarity.

It's been about 6 months since I broke up with my BPD ex. The whole thing was honestly kind of a whirlwind. We moved in together only after having known each other for 5 months and then 10 months later I kicked her out after I found her messing around with other guys online. And it wasn't just flirting, she was selling nudes and making plans to fuck guys for money. Very extreme behavior. I knew she was a person with a lot of problems, and I always did my best to try and help her, but becoming her cuckolded idiot was a line too far.
So I kicked her out of our apartment and sent her back to live with her parents. The moment she arrived back in LA her entire life took a 180. She went from this very quiet nerdy anime girl to escorting, smoking meth, dating a homeless guy, and doing these obnoxious anti-social irl streams. Think Jerry Springer. Incredibly self destructive behavior. The thing is though, she's just 19 and from a very wealthy family. This all came out of nowhere. She tried contacting me a couple times in the intervening months, but I didn't try to get back together. I just wanted her to leave me alone. Since then, I have had no idea what's been going on with her life.
Fast forward to last week and I happened to be booking a flight to LA for a little mini vacation with a friend, and thought, you know what, why don't I at least try and have lunch with her or something? Things ended tensely and I'd like for us to just be cool, you know? Maybe she fixed her life and things are better. So I reached out to a friend who knows us both to ask his opinion, and he told me straight up, "Don't do it, you are not ready for this." He then proceeds to show me some horrific things. Apparently she had been raped in a homeless encampment and was now pregnant - and was still smoking meth. He showed me a video of her and she looked like a ghoul. I didn't recognize her. She was stammering senselessly and I couldn't make out anything she was saying. I'm not going to lie, I fucking cried. Zo was once a beautiful and intelligent girl, and now she's just this methed out shell of herself who can barely string words together. It's been 6 months and she has totally fallen apart.
With the situation being as extreme as it is, I decided to contact her on her phone directly. I know I can't save anyone from themselves, but, fuck, maybe I could try talking some sense into her - or at least help her get an abortion for what will end up being a crack baby. So I sent a short heartfelt message asking how she is doing. And I got nothing. She didn't respond. And I know she got it. After a day, I had this realization like, what the fuck am I doing? This person obviously wants all this. She decided to speed run ruining her life - I tried to help her get a job, get therapy, and apply to school, but she decided to throw that all way - and for what? Nothing. Just destroyed herself for absolutely nothing in return. And to add insult to injury she won't even answer a basic "are you okay" text during a very dire situation - something that left a very bitter taste in my mouth.
At that moment, I was able to truly let go. There's no helping someone like this and she obviously doesn't want it. So I can't keep blaming myself for her current state - thinking if only I had done X or Y she could have avoided this fate. I can't keep throwing pearls before swine. So this is the end of the saga. I don't expect her to live very long at this point- and honestly I've made my peace with it. I prayed for her and left it in God's hands. I did the best I could and my conscience is clear.
I am sorry for all of you that are here suffering. There is nothing you can do for these people either. There was NEVER anything, you, or anyone else, could have done. It was doomed from the start. The only thing we can do is put this entire thing behind us and keep moving forward. Keep living life or we'll join them in the grave too. So I went to LA, had a blast, and now I'm back home. And I will continue my life as if none of this ever happened.

So, in May 2023, my friend (Em f23) and I (f28) had a conversation that started off friendly. Just chit-chat and funny anecdotes from the day. She brought up a situation with her coworker she enjoyed. It involved tourettes and one of her coworkers' specific tics.
I made a comment that I genuinely didn't think much of at the time. It was just some trivia I knew of and thought was interesting. Specifically that people with tourettes can 'catch' or involuntarily copy tics from other people with tourettes. It's something I learned from watching content made by people with tourettes. She made a comment like, "Maybe it's not like that, in this specific situation with my coworker."
Here's where I should have realised she was not interested in my trivia. What I definitely didn't realise was that it in fact made her mad, but I kept pushing anyways because I felt I was correct, that the coworker had picked up the tic from a well know streamer because it was literally identical. Em then stopped answering, after a couple hours of silence I asked her if she was actually mad about what I said and she responded with "Its fucking fine." Cue her not talking to me at all for 3 days. On the third day, she said we needed to have a sit-down conversation about boundaries because she "is having big feelings." her words, not mine.
I was so confused about what would have triggered her wanting to talk about boundaries when the conversation we had was a mild disagreement at worst. I would understand if I said something offensive, but I literally just said a fact and my opinion on her coworker, I didn't try to force her to agree, and there's proof of the streamer with that specific tic so it wasn't like I was lying to be able to one up her or something? I don't know, this whole part of the situation is incredibly confusing to me because she never talked about why that conversation triggered her to give me the silent treatment in the first place or how it led her to wanting to talk about boundaries. In the end, the boundaries she talked about much much later had nothing to do with this conversation even though it seemed to be what caused her to want boundaries. Idk, I'm still very confused about what actually caused her to want to have the discussion after the three days of silence and a minor disagreement.
At this point, still May 2023, I was in severe pain, but I did not know it was cancer yet. I was barely making it through each day with how much I was in pain. The tumor is in my leg, growing out of the top portion of my tibia in a way that has made the tibial platue hollow, or essentially a whisper thin shell of bone filled with slime, sorry but that's the best way to describe it. At any moment, my surgeon told me this later, I could have broken that thin bone and had a collapsed knee joint. I say this so you you know when I talk about pain here, I'm talking excruciating levels of pain.
So walking specifically and everything else was extremely painful, and that was taking a lot of energy and brain space. I told her I was in a ton of pain. I was exhausted and barely scraping by just to keep working while waiting for my doctors visits to hopefully figure out what was wrong. I said I would try to find a day to have "the talk," but things just kept getting worse. By the end of July I had seen four different doctors, three of which thought I was just trying to get drugs, the last one was an orthopedic doctor and she took two minutes of looking at an xray and another minute of looking at my leg to say I most likely had a tumor.
The official on paper diagnosis came in September because of the waiting time to meet with the surgeon, but we knew it was a tumor in August. I was put on essentially bed rest from august to the day I had surgery September 27th. I told Em about the tumor the day I got the MRI results which I had in mid August to prepare for the appointment with the surgeon. Her response was extremely upsetting to me.
Em: "That's a lot to deal with. The possibility of having a malignant tumor is scary and can make you really question life. When you're put into a situation like that, it forces you to look back on your life and reevaluate. You find out what you really want out of life and what you waisted too much time dealing with. That's really tough. I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't talk to me about your pain. Being more supportive of each other was something I wanted to talk about. Hopefully, you have a sweet and easy recovery."
That response hurt, it felt like she was saying I had a lot to regret in life and like I didn't have much time left to live to fix my regrets. But I thanked her for the empathy she tried to give and moved on. After that she never checked in on me, never asked how I was or what the plan of treatment was. My surgery was scheduled for the end of Spetember, the day after her birthday. I wished her a happy birthday. Then I let her know after the surgery that everything went well and that I was going to be in the hopsital for a few days. I was loopy on strong pain meds so i also told her that my nurse drew me a cute doodle on my white board, she said ".That's great! Hopefully you heal fast so you can go on a date with her. 😉" which was totally out of the blue. I havent dated anyone in the time Ive know or been friends with Em. Im asexual, and an extreme introvert, dating is not really my thing and she knows this. So that comment was very weird to me. After that she never even texted to check in on me or tried to visit me in the 5 days I stayed in the hospital after the surgery. Keep in mind, we are supposedly best friends.
I almost considered our friendship over by then, but I reached out to her when I was pretty much back on my feet to see what was going on and asked her what the conversation about boundaries was about. I apologized for being too chicken shit to ask about it earlier because I don't do well emotionally with getting criticism even when it's valid and I know I need to hear it. On top of that I was (and still am) dealing with fucking cancer. Not an excuse, it is an explanation though. So I apologized.
Her responses here, copy and pasted from our messages:
Em:
"First off I want so say that it's very respectable that you are willing to admit what you did wrong. Thank you for the apology.
Secondly, I don't know if the the conversation is still worth having. I'd be lying if I said I was devastated that we dropped off and didn't communicate for months. To be brutally honest, my life has drastically improved in our time apart. I'm so much more effective and positive. I'm very proud of how far I've come.
That's not to say I believed that you were the soul cause of all of my misfortune. In fact one of the boundaries I wanted to set was actual planned dates instead of spontaneous ones. Because I realized that I was using you like a form of procrastination. I couldn't do the things I needed to do because I chose to hang out with you instead. With my main distraction gone I've been able to thoroughly work through my shit, mental and physical.
When we last hung out I remembered feeling dark and heavy afterwards because it was nothing special. It was just a normal outing for us. I remember feeling angry that what we should have talked about wasn't addressed. Annoyed that it seemed like nothing had changed and that I had not changed. And scared that opening up communication could lead to me falling back into the pit again.
I don't know if we should have the original talk because so much has changed for both of us. We both equally walked over our own thresholds of hell. What I had to say months ago, I believe was true then, but I don't think it will be true now. I think it's quite possible for us to start anew and correct and develop as we go. But I think it would be just as easy to admit our friendship was a great experience. We were there when we needed each other. But it might be time to go our separate ways.
I will say, if we collectively choose to merge back together. I WON'T let it be the same. I don't want you to tell me every tiny dark secret. But I do want you to tell me that you want to stop at game stop and ask me to take you somewhere. Without fear of gas. I want you to tell me if it pisses you off that I take you to only crystal shops or that I talk about spiritually. Because I want to improve. I have no intention of continuing a relationship that doesn't inspire growth or bring me positivity."
So she stopped talking to me, because she had no self-control. She abandoned me during the worst medical crisis of my fucking life, because she doesn't know how to manage her time or her motivation. She punished me, for her problems. To be very specific the spontaneous hanging out was nearly 100% on her. I would ask to hang out rarely, because I never had the chance to because she would be asking to see me multiple times a week.
I'm not a social person, so other than work I don't have much going on and she was my best friend. I wasn't going to say no if I didn't have any other plans. She never brought up that she was procrastinating anything by hanging out with me. Never a peep. Never a hint. Nothing. I had no idea any of that was going on. If I did know I would have been 150,000% there to support her by asking how her goals were going, how her chores were going. Hell I would have helped her do chores as our hang out if she had asked. I did help her with some stuff. Painting her head board, rearranging and cleaning her room, working on crafts when she needed motivation to finish a piece for a friend, being a study buddy when she needed to focus on her mental health books, things like that.
Also in what world is learning to be accountable for your own actions and vacuuming regularly the same as going through cancer? I don't like comparing pain or life struggles usually, but this was a crossed line for me. For her to say her dealing with procrastination was an "equal threshold of hell" as my bone eating tumor and excruciating pain and the fear of it spreading to other parts of my body, it infuriates me still to think about that.
So I am now hurt and angry as hell, that she stopped talking to me over seemingly nothing that I did. I had no idea what was going on with the tourettes coworker conversation that ended in "its fucking fine" from her and then her next message was about her needing to set boundaries. And then she says her life is better without me in it.
Friendship effectively over. Or it should have been.
Here's where I'm a bit of an asshole.
I took her back. I said we could try again. That we both needed to improve but that we could do it better this time. At the time I genuinely believed it. For a couple weeks.
Then the more I thought about laying in that hospital bed, alone, wishing I had someone to distract me from the pain and fear, the more I started to realise her reasons for cutting contact was bullshit. Her wanting to have this big talk about boundaries and the boundaries she wanted were literally nothing I could do they were all her issues with her own decisions and there's was nothing I could change about myself to fix the problem she was putting 50/50 on my shoulders. Her saying her life was better without me when that whole time I was crying over missing her and trying to figure out what I did wrong where I fucked up, what I could do or say to fix it. It all just added up too much and so I sent her one last message.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking and going through my emotions and I think I'm going to step back from whatever this friendship has turned into. I'll be honest I feel betrayed that you didn't even try to support me going through cancer. I understand things were rocky when I got my diagnosis, however if our friendship was important to you on any level I can't understand why you didn't even text me to see how I was doing for months at a time when you knew I was going through one of, if not the most, difficult medical diagnosis humans can get. I felt completely abandoned, especially since the reason we even stopped talking and hanging out was because of your own procrastination issues which I had nothing to do with. If you had even just told me that you needed to get things done before we could hang out I would have supported you unconditionally. Instead you gave a vague "we need to talk about boundaries and being more supportive of each other." And then never supported me in the darkest time of my life so far. It's taken me a while to get to the root of why I feel the way I do, but I don't think I can just let this go like I wanted to. I loved being your friend and it always felt like you valued my friendship too, until you were cutting me off because of your poor time management. I know that will sound harsh, I'm sorry, but it's true. I have my own issues that hurt you, I know that and I really am sorry. I am sorry I could never reciprocate financially, I'm sorry you were the one always picking me up and driving. I'm sorry that I never gave you the birthday or Christmas gifts you wanted. Thank you for all the amazing times. Goodbye."
To clarify the gift thing, I have been very poor for a long time. I am neurodivergent and I struggle to hold down a job. But I hand made her gifts, or cooked for her. The last thing I made for her was a crochet mandala blanket, please look up Radiance Mandala Blanket to see how much effort I went to, she picked the colors and I made her a lap blanket version for christmas 2022. It took her less than a month to complain that she wished she could have picked the colors. SHE DID. I told her to pick a pallet of colors specifically for her blanket and did my best to match the colors she picked with yarn I already owned. It wasn't perfect but I got it as close as I could. I don't like to make a big deal out of things I do for people because giving to the ones I love is literally the easiest thing in the world for me. But to have her act like I didnt try to make it as perfect for her as I could hurt so much.
Anyways, back to me telling her I was done. Her reply back pissed me off, maybe because I was already angry. It felt so patronizing and dismissive. But that might just be because of all the emotions I was already feeling at the time I read it.
Em: "Your feelings are valid. I'm sorry I made you feel abandoned in the hardest time. I wish you the best of luck on your way through life. Fall in love, have your farm, raise your kids, craft wonderful creations, enjoy the many YouTube videos to come, and don't forget to live your best self. I'll take this harsh lesson and apply it to friendships in the future. Live long and prosper, my friend, and have many pleasant wanderings."
Harsh lesson my ass. If it was harsh for anyone it was harsh for me to learn my best friend gave absolutely no shits about me and couldnt be bothered to try and support me through this medical crisis. We haven't spoken since. I have her blocked on everything. So, aita for cutting off Em? Even though I'm angry, I'm conflicted because I still love her, she was my best friend for 6 years.

I’m gonna try to make this as simple as possible. Basically I’ve been dealing with this woman since 2019 and at first I thought she was sweet, spiritual, and innocent, boyyyy was I wrong.. as time went on I started to see the real her. She’s very manipulative, a pathological liar, narcissist, and she has cluster B border line personality disorder. The night we met she fed me a bunch of lies which I uncovered overtime for example she told me the first night we met that she had been raped the year prior while she was in school(which I later found out was not true whatsoever. Months down the line she would even talk about exs that were “abusive” towards her which I later also found out wasn’t true. Fast forward to February of 2020 she ended up pregnant with our first child and a couple months into the pregnancy she just decided she’s not gonna deal with me anymore, so I ended up dating a woman I’ve known since middle school. She found out about this and next thing I know the sheriffs are serving me a restraining order accusing me of rape!!! When we showed up for court she immediately dropped the order before we even could talk to the judge. Fast forward to when my child was born in December of 2020 she texts me that she just had the baby and I asked if I could come up there and she said “no” and as time goes on she start’s blatantly keeping my child from me I didn’t meet my first born until February of 2021, and that’s when she tried to reconcile whatever situationship we had and would go on to apologize for the accusations saying her family foster her to do that so that I won’t be able to be in my child’s life which of course was a lie that was her decision. As time goes on the girl I was dating passed away and I was distraught so my baby mother comes around and I ended up coming up on money and decided to get us an apartment with our child two months into staying there I had a seizure while sleeping and instead of staying there to help she takes my child and leaves and proceeded to text my mom a picture of me in bed having the seizure and even tells my mom I was hitting her while having a seizure …. She blocked me again after that and a month later comes back around againnnn I guess basically to just have sex with me and then blocks me again and keeps me from my child, and at that point she was pregnant with my second child. I didn’t see my oldest for 6-7 months I had moved on to a nice relationship with a wonderful woman by that time and my second child was born, and that’s when I decided to take this stuff to court and the judge reprimanded her for isolating my kids from me and a custody order was placed for them to be with me every other weekend. During the custody court date she tried telling the judge I was abusive and all that nonsense and the judge seen right through it and didn’t pay it any attention, so two months after that she starts reaching out more and trying to have normal conversations and I would go along with it like a idiot and she wanted to hook up again and we did a few times, in which my girlfriend found out and we broke up and then weeks after that my baby moms ghost me again, still following the order tho. A month later my girlfriend and I got back on good terms and she notices and tries to get me to sabotage my relationship again! It doesn’t really work and I came to find out she would tell her family I was abusing her and a bunch of other ridiculous lies. This time CPS gets involved and investigates me for DV, which didn’t work. Now let’s fast forward to two years later, my babymom keeps coming in and out of my life(I don’t know why I let her honestly) she thinks about leaving to the military and I took the kids while she tries to go to the recruiting camp or whatever to see if she can enlist which she can’t because apparently she’s been committed by her mother a few times.. I stopped dealing with her for a while until some months back, she calls herself apologizing for everything she’s done to me and we start hanging out again but at this point I no longer am in love with her I wanted to go be with the woman I was still in love with that she thought she Sabotaged, and when I confessed this to her and that I can’t deal with how much she lies and plays these mental games and before I try to go home she tells me she’s gonna kill herself when I go home and I had her committed at her own request, she stayed for about a week and a half. Gets out and was put on meds and therapy which she stopped using after a couple of months. Me and the girl I’m in love with are still seeing each other and me and my babymoms stopped dealing with each other yet again. I get a knock on the door about a month or two later with getting served another restraining order falsely accusing me of abuse yet again I didn’t fight it cuz I’m really tired of her at this point. We started hanging out just taking the boys to the park and stuff like that just to try to bond with our kids as a family despite everything… she starts wanting to get intimate and I actually didn’t want to this time and then she starts telling me a bunch of lies about how she hasn’t been with anybody and a whole bunch of non sense that I know is false, and I snapped on her and called her out on all of it, I went wrong in the conversation and threw her phone back at her but it wasn’t in a aggressive way it hits her on the eye and I apologized and everything and I still say I don’t wanna be intimate with her and wanna be with the same woman that I’m in love with still, and then she begins to start that “I wanna kill myself” bullshit again except this time I don’t commit her cuz I realize she just tries to get pity from me and everybody else however she can. The next day she texts and asks for a bag she left at my house I told her I’d leave it on the porch for her. When she pulls up me and my girlfriend and her son are outside playing, out of nowhere her uncles jumps out her car and attacks me while my kids are watching from her car and my girlfriend’s son was right there in front of all this he then runs back to her car and they pull off quickly. The phone left her eye a lil black when I threw it at her and she even admitted that to my brother through text and to me in text that it was the phone, but typical crazy girl fashion she even texts my girlfriend after her and her uncle left a picture of her eye and says “you better leave him alone before this happens to you” she reported the incident to police weeks later but no charges were filed, CPS reached out to me yet again and I explain to them what happened over the phone and they didn’t seem to adamant about opening up a case. After the attack from her uncle I go to the courts and filed for motion of contempt for not following the custody arrangement on a few occasions, one of being that she had her u cake attack me with my kids present and one of the requirements on the order is to not let the other parent be harmed in any way in front of the children which the judge signed off on and we have court later today for. So yesterday she reaches out after it’s been almost two months since that whole attack from her uncle saying how she misses me and she wants to get the restraining order dropped, and she wants to sleep with me, and see me, and all that. And I actually let her come meet up with me at the mall just to kind of see where her headspace is. Long story short came to find out she was dating some guy and I told him all about her in which he agreed that she lies about every single thing and it’s almost impossible to believe a word out her mouth. this girl has some serious issues and I really want full custody of my boys because I’m scared for their safety being with her as she’s really unstable and flat out crazy, I know hiring an attorney would be the easiest route and me and my family are willing to go in on one but it’s so expensive that if I can do it without an attorney I would like that, would the judge wnat to hear about any of this at this custody violation hearing? Or should I open another case for that separately? I did mention to CPS when they asked me if I had any concerns about my kids being with her I didn’t really want to say too much because I was going to court anyway but I did tell them she smokes marijuana often and drinks very often. I know I should’ve just told them about her mental health problems right then and there but I was still kinda in shock they called me in the first place. Now most of this stuff is documented in texts and pictures, what would you do in this situation? Like what’s the best way of going about fighting her for full custody?

Hi, i’m 19 (F) and i can’t help how i feel and i hate it. I have BPD and i’m in a healthy relationship with my partner 20 (F) but everytime she goes out with her friends, out clubbing or smoking to get high i genuinely cant help feeling so jealous and annoyed and i dont know why? I know realistically she’s allowed to do it because it’s her life and i want her having fun but why do i get so annoyed at her to the point im dry texting her and even being rude? And what csn i do to help?

Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.
She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.
I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…
Am the asshole?

TL;DR: I grew to hate how I look as a result of getting into mewing. I feel like we, as a species, were forced into an unnatural lifestyle that caused our bodies to mutate into an unhealthy ugly mess, and now, because of Mike Mew's work, we have to feel ashamed of it.
I have a lot of things to say, and even though I understand that not all people will read everything, I feel the need to pour my thoughts out.
I am 22 years old, and unfortunately, it so happened that I learned about mewing only a few months ago. Before Mike Mew and his work gained significant popularity among Gen-Zers after the release of his “Ultimate Mewing Guide” on YouTube, I was not even aware this practice existed, which makes me regret many life decisions I made up until this point.
It’s been about a month since I started mewing and I fully believe that tongue posture and craniofacial structure have a direct correlation. When I listen to Mews’ lectures, it feels like puzzle pieces falling into place. Their theories are so logical and spot-on that you begin to question how it is even possible for orthodontics to exist for centuries, or even thousands of years, without dentists realizing that problematic teeth are not a genetic trait. How come these people still treat malocclusion in children using braces? Moreover, mewing improves breathing and can potentially prevent migraines, as those often happen as a result of palatal shrinkage.
But aside from talking about the incredible health benefits of mewing, there is no doubt Mike Mew also places great emphasis on how oral posture affects the attractiveness of one’s face. When you listen to him, it sounds like he is driven to solve the problem of prevailing “ugliness” in the modern population. The amount of work he puts into analyzing the ideal facial structure is astounding. He shares a lot of valuable information on what a person must do to achieve a better-looking face. But my question is, did the problem of ugliness exist in the first place? Do people actually see down-swung faces as unattractive? By providing the instructions on how to improve one’s appearance from the get-go his work automatically assumes that this is the case, but is it really?
While I agree with Mike on most of his theories, whenever I hear things like “A face of a mouth-breather”, it makes me feel nothing but pain, and the reason for that is mewing works most effectively for reshaping the bones in adolescents and young adults, and according to the man himself, after 25 years of age, it is practically impossible to make any significant changes by utilizing proper oral posture.
So, do women really only find men who have a chiseled jawline and pronounced cheekbones attractive? I know I am only one example, but before learning about mewing, I never identified the facial features of a mouth breather as flawed, or even identified them at all, for that matter. I considered a smaller jaw as much of an individual trait as the shape of one’s nose or eyebrows. Yes, looking back on it now, it is an incorrect judgment, as most of the time a weak jawline is a result of an incorrect oral posture and a sedentary, relatively unhealthy lifestyle, but this is beside the point. I distinctly remember having a few crushes on guys in the past who would be considered to have a weak jawline. It’s just to show you how diverse women’s tastes really are.
So why must broad jaws matter, if I was and am genuinely attracted to guys who don’t possess them? Why must it matter, if nowadays, we no longer require large masseter muscles to chew on raw meat for our survival? Why must a slight down-swinging of the maxilla be seen as an unfavorable trait if it did not get so far that it impacts one’s health? Why should the purely aesthetic aspect of all of this matter?
In my opinion, mewing and orthotropics is a wonderful field of study that should be used to spread awareness about the small jaw epidemic and dental malpractices that genuinely ruin people’s faces. It is great for preventing malformities in future generations as well as treating adults who have problematic craniofacial structures that impact their health. But unfortunately, most people, when they hear the word “mewing”, picture a magic exercise that will make them look like sexy Squidward.
I see it very clearly, mewing has become a tool that enables insecurities to grow spread, and fester.
As I stated before, prior to watching videos on orthotropics on YouTube, I was completely unaware of the fact that forward development is deemed as aesthetic perfection. And now, I often subconsciously analyze the facial structure of random people I see in public when I never did in the past. Worst of all, I started seeing my own face as putridly ugly, when in the past, I considered myself to be not very attractive, but at least not looking worse than an average person. And recently, I realized this might be something that is happening not only to me but, probably, to many people interested in orthotropics.
So, do we really care about beauty standards, or is this idea being actively pushed on us by the looks-maxing mentality? To me, personally, it looks like Mike’s focus on looks in relation to mewing not only does not help to solve the problem, but instead, it is actively creating it. Or at least, it makes it severely worse, because, even if there were people like me, who did not care about perfect jawlines before, then from now on, their numbers are going to be dropping in the near future as mewing gets more and more attention.
“You aren’t ugly, you have bad habits», Well, does pushing with all the forces of your tongue on your maxilla in hopes of getting the face of a model sound like a good habit to you? Or performing inter-oral pulling or b0ne-smashing? And also, rating and judging other people’s faces, and suggesting to undergo plastic surgeries in case they are too old for mewing, so “it’s over for them”. Are these the good habits people are talking about?
And if we do follow the logic of “Mouth-breather face = bad habits”, what will the reasons for the malformation of one’s face be? What are the things that ugly no-good modern-day Quazimodos did, that are now being used as a valid excuse for others to judge them for their physical flaws? First of all, according to Mike Mew, breastfeeding plays a huge role in the development of natural proper oral posture. (Only 34.5% of women breast for the first 6 months as of the years 2000-2008 according to this article https://www.cdc.gov/mmwpreview/mmwrhtml/mm6205a1.htm#:~:text=Among%20infants%20born%20in%202000,16.0%25%20breastfed%20for%2012%20months.)) Second, human jaws require a consistent and considerable amount of work for them to achieve good development. (Modern diet is progressively becoming softer, and more processed). And third, the human body requires a lot of physical movement, running, and walking to maintain optimal and healthy back posture, which subsequently affects the structure of the skull. (I don’t know the statistics, but nowadays, most likely most of us can’t survive without sitting at a computer for 6+ hours a day). So, do all these things look like bad habits that one can easily and consciously fix? Adding a bit of exercise to one's life can do some good, that's a nice habit! But what about all the other stuff.... What if you are approaching the age when your bones don't grow anymore?
To get to the point, I don’t understand why people should be ashamed of their appearance when the modern lifestyle is literally doing everything to prevent the healthy growth and physical development of children. Cavemen did have beautifully wide dental arches as a result of chewing on raw meat, running barefoot, and hunting wild animals, but did they also have to spend 12 years of their adolescent life sitting at a school desk, studying, doing homework, and trying to get good grades? Maybe they also produced some impressive pieces of art, music writing, etc.? Then why should we be ashamed of the fact that we did not manage to keep our bodies at peak physical performance, while also studying, or god forbid, having an extracurricular interest that also involves a lot of sit-down work and is time-consuming?
I, myself, wasn’t ever a mouth-breather! I just had an absolutely awful back posture all throughout my life because I decided to dedicate my life to producing electronic music from the young age of about 13 years, which requires an endless amount of hours sitting at the computer. And now I get to be called ugly and lazy for it. I never even played video games in my life, ever! I don’t drink and I don’t smoke, and I’m not overweight, and yet I have to hate myself and how I look?? Just because of my passion?
It feels like we were forced into this unnatural, for our species, lifestyle that causes our bodies to mutate into an unhealthy mess and yet we still have to carry the guilt and shame of its consequences.
It makes me feel awful looking at how quickly the image representing “The face of a mouth breather” vs “The face of a nose-breather” is spreading, thanks to Mike Mew. The way it labels people based on their appearance is almost comparable to a racist caricature. It seeps into young adults' minds and makes them put people into categories, even if they never thought of this stuff before.
I’m not suggesting to ditch mewing as a whole and to continue living as uneducated, unhealthy modern apes. I’m asking people to stop cultivating an environment where we focus on negatively labeling people with unfavorable facial features that they get as a result of, mostly, circumstances beyond their control and that do not carry any health risks. Mewing may bring health benefits in the form of sleep apnea prevention, but it also changes the mindset and I don't think this is a good change.

I'm(NB20) putting this out because I realized I keep going in circles with this situation. So my girlfriend (F21) and her best friend (F21) have been friends since middle school. They both chose to move up north for university and lived together during their freshmen year of college. I met my girlfriend during freshmen year and it wasn't until sophomore year I found out that my girlfriend had a huge crush on her in highschool, she was infatuated with her. The only reason I was told the feelings weren't reciprocated was because her friend had a girlfriend at the time. This really bothered me, and to add, the only reason I found out was because I started having suspicions and how close they were and they had a lot of "intimate" posts of each other on social media, so I brought it up out of insecurity. We are now about to reach 2 years and I'm still having trouble being okay with their friendship. Ever since our first talk about it my girlfriend becomes uncomfortable and seems to walk on eggshells when her friend is brought up. I picked up on this and eventually had another talk about her friend. I told her I was not a fan of her friend but I would appreciate if she stopped avoiding talking about her or hiding the fact that she's hanging out with her from me.I told her then that I didn't like her but because I knew they were best friends from back home-- I didn't feel right telling her to cut contact with her. My girlfriend is very introverted and doesn't have a lot of close friends. I would feel terrible if I told her to stop seeing her one close friend that reminds her of home. But, at the same time, I become very upset when they're together. If my girlfriend were to hang out with any of her college or work friends I would not care, but the fact that her best friend happens to be a girl she had a massive crush on in high school bothers me so much to the point that I become irrational and anxious. What is my tipping point is that my girlfriend recently turned 21 and I've mentioned a few times that I would prefer if she waited for me to turn 21 so we can go into gay bars together. But today she told me she was going to take her best friend out. (She recently has gotten better with mentioning her to me, not hiding as much) She was going to take her best friend out to eat since her friend is moving back south soon. I had asked her what their plans were and she said they were going to eat, and maybe smoke. Which I was fine with, again I tried not to be so anxious about it. What started to eat at me was the fact later she texted me saying they were going into this very queer neighborhood in our city-- Again, I was okay with it and I told them to have fun. The issue is that I have my girlfriend's location and I see that she is at a bar with her friend right now, something that she did not mention to me. This hurt me for a few reasons: I told her I would prefer if she waited until I was 21 to go into bars, she did not tell me she was going to a bar with her, and lastly, I've told her a few times that her friendship with her friends makes me uncomfortable. I told her this because I didn't wanna lie about how I felt about their friendship. But, I feel like she ignores how I feel about the whole situation. I just think it's weird that she's at a gay bar with a friend I've expressed makes me uncomfortable. I do not want to be controlling and tell her who to hang out with-- but my issue is solely with her best friend. Should I talk to her about it?

Sorry if this story gets haywire... Its a few years old story...
I met a guy online.. We got to know each other, and since we were kind of far apart. We decided to hold the meet up.
I got to know him better and talking to him became a routine. He knows my work schedule, I know his. He will ask me to accompany him on his shifts with video calls or normal calls. I would fall asleep ASAP tho. He knows my family, I know his. He greets me when am home, with texts.
Since I am a teacher, I told him about how my students will question if I have a bf or not. He told me to use his picture as a barrier.. I gladly (Since I had a HUGE crush on him) put him as my wallpaper.
Nevertheless, he was comfort zone at the time BUT we were just friends.
So one day, we decided to meet up . I am quite religious I daresay, but he isn't. On the day we met, he changed some of his attire. I know he has a favourite bracelet and he wears short pants a lot. Like long pants and no bracelets which is kinda forbidden for men in my religion. He is also an avid smoker, he can smoke up to a wholeee box in one day. The whole day we hung out, he only smoked 1 and a half cigarettes.
Something bugged me at the time tho, I took it as a 'red Flag' tho.. He took out his simcard and phone battery at lunch.. I asked him why, he said he wanted to reset his phone.. Its like a routine for him weekly. But I meam, who does it in publiccc! Wouldn't u be scared of losing it? Or misplacing it???
Well, as a fat girl who has zero interest in sports and health, I hatee walking with a passion. Like a 10 min walk will make me complain for the next 24 hours, but with him I walked the wholeee KL, from one place to another for 5 hours !! Surely I was blind! But i was having so much fun for once (Can you tell I was lonely before 🤣🤣)
Well, we went home, seperately. I went home by grab, he demanded I call him all the way and we did.
Well, we continued the same routine and got to know each other much more intimately and I decided to break the ice and confess.. 😁
He only replied "I am sorry". And the next thing I knew he posted a video of a woman, telling him "I love you his name "
The 1 year routine died then and there... I couldn't bring myself to text him or say congratulations ...
He will be in contact with me every 6 months to tell me he still misses me.. And says the day we went out was a date to him. And he will even say he likes me.. The thing is, he is still with his gf 😊.
It has been more or less 7 years.. Now, the 6 months routine still hasn't ended.
Was it my fault for being too late? Or was i being led on?

Hello Reddit! Few quick questions

1. Does anyone have experience with responding to a complaint & countersuing for custody?
   
2. In my answer / counter suit - am I allowed to include screenshots of text messages ? There isn't much instruction on how to answer, what to include , what to leave out, etc.
   
3. Generally- if your case wasn't resolved in mediation, how long after did it take to get resolved ? I see some ppl sharing it can be a multi year matter, does anyone know what happens in the mean time ? How do ppl manage the custody in the time without a final order?
   
4. If there is already a child support case separately, is it then okay to also ask the court to make a decision re: custody and child support ? I know legally they are two separate matters .
   
5. Plaintiff has a DUI conviction and I have text messages w/ concerns re: his drinking , driving drunk, and potentially putting our child in harm due to alcholism. Does anyone have suggestions on how to properly bring this up?
   
6. On the NC complaint form for custody - it has a option for the plaintiff to either check the box for custody, to check the box for visitation . It doesn't specify what kind of custody is being requested. Does this complaint automatically imply the plaintiff is asking for full custody, as opposed to joint or split ?
   
7. Under the options for the plaintiff to check if they are requesting custody or visitation, there is a third line that reads [comp cust/vis] does anyone know what that means ?
   
8. In my answe countersuit, I would like permission to be able to relocate out of state with my son. Does anyone have input about how to best address this?
   

Thank you all so much.
Background - I filed for child support end of April My son's father filed for custody early May He did not include information about the child support case He says he does not want full custody , only wants to establish an official custody order and wants access to mediators due to us not being able to agree His DUI conviction was from 2013/2014. I have texted him, my sister and best friend about my concerns about his drinking and have compiled screenshots from 2020 to substantiate that I am not just lying on him

I feel like my furthest back memories of life have always just been sad. I remember in 2nd grade having this big realization that I wasn't like other people, I was different. And it made me SO sad. And that feeling never left.
So much happened growing up, too much to go into. But I grew up with bad folks around. Good parents who loved me, but troubled family members and drug addicts ect. I just remember always feeling alone, isolated, different, sad, and lonely.
BUT. when I turned 19 I made a decision that I was going to work hard to be happy.
But now I'm mid 30's nearing 40. I'm still just.... so sad. Everything I touch falls apart, and I lose everyone I love. I feel like I am cursed. Everyone I love either dies, or forgets about me. I feel like I've always been so forgettable.
I've tried all the things, I have a therapist, I'm on meds.
But nothing really helps with this deep loneliness.
And as I get older, it just hurts more and more every time someone forgets about me. Or when people make me feel like a ghost.
I'm on the autism spectrum and I try really hard to act whatever "normal" seems. But I feel like people always treat me like I'm stupid for acting "happy" or trying to hope for the best outcomes. Sometimes at work when we are discussing important things as a group, I'll say something, everyone will just look glance at me and continue talking over me. Never acknowledge me. This is not just at work.
I was so happy when someone wanted to be my friend, we hit it off and things were so nice for a while. Until she found someone better. We hung out as a group, and they literally ignored me everywhere we went. And I am NOT joking or exaggerating here, but this is a good example of just HOW invisible I am. We drove past a car that was literally ON FIRE. It was up in flames and smoke was just billowing out into the sky. There were sirens coming down the street. I exclaimed "HOLY CRAP THAT CAR'S ON FIRE!!" and pointed. NOTHING. No reaction, they didn't even glance in my direction.
When we went shopping, they did the same, they would sometimes look at me if I spoke, but never responded. I left at one point and decided to just do my own thing. It took them an hour to notice I was gone. And I really believe the only reason they even came to find me was because one of them wanted a ride back to their car. I did it, but they talked on the phone to the other the whole time and ignored me. Even then.
My heart was just so broken, I had really thought I found a friend. Finally. But nope. I just stopped trying, I still text and care for them. But I know neither of them really care about me.
I even tried the whole relationship thing, but that is just too hard for me. I'm not sure if it's the autism or the ace part of me, but really. I just want friendship. Relationship stuff was just so hard and complicated, and I couldn't offer what was needed to the other person.
It's just getting SO exhausting. I feel like every bit of my energy goes into TRYING so HARD to be happy. I really do make an effort. I really believe that most people are good, and I try to be kind and understanding to people. I always try to assume the best, and I try to put love and kindness out into the world any chance I have. I'm working on going into a job where I will be helping people, I just don't want to say what right now. But all that said, it's getting harder and harder everyday to keep pushing myself in this direction. I just feel so tired.
I've been over spending and over eating. I feel so ashamed of myself, the amount of debt I'm in, I used to be so good with money. Everyone would come to me to borrow money. Now I'm in so much debt.
I guess what really triggered my emotions right now is that... Once again I thought I found a new friend. We hit it off so WELL at first. I was maybe too excited, I guess I should learn my lesson. But we had so much fun talking about our silly interests, we had similar hobbies. I just can't express just HOW much fun I had, I hadn't been so happy in So so sooo very long.
And then. They forgot about me too. I don't want to go into detail incase they see this and recognize themselves. I still care about them. I just miss them so much. But like everyone else, they forgot about me.
I wish I wasn't so forgettable. I just want friends. My heart feels so broken.
It's not just that I want something from people. I want people to love. I feel like my heart is so full of love and it hurts. If it wasn't for my pet I don't know what I would do. I love her so much, I give her everything I have.
I'm posting here. But I haven't tried to hurt myself in many, many years. It's just I'm having those daydreams again about how nice it would be to just not exist anymore. I just wish life didn't have to be so painful all of the time. I keep thinking eventually things will get better. But they never have. I wonder if it's even possible for things to ever be ok.
And yeah. I just feel so alone and unlovable. I feel so broken. I feel like if I died tomorrow, only my pet would notice or care. She's the only one who has really made me feel like I have any value. In fact, she's one of the only beings that has really made me feel like a human being.
Anyways, I guess that's enough rambling. Sorry for all the typos, I'm just so exhausting right now and about to knock out for the night. I just really needed to get that off my chest first. I see my therapist tomorrow but I feel like even he doesn't really get it. Maybe strangers on the internet will.

Wow, this one might me a long one.
So I moved to (undisclosed location) sometime in the beginning of last year. When I moved here I really had no friends but became heavily involved in this yoga studio I went to and slowly but surely started to make friends/acquaintances with the teacher that instructed me.
From afar she seemed super cool and I became pretty enthralled with her and her life. I would look forward so heavily to going to her classes every week and was quite intrigued by her. I thought she was funny, bubbly, spunky, cool, and always made jokes during class that made me laugh. As months went by I found myself wanting to get closer and closer to her, and she even invited me out one time to one of her “events” she was hosting. Here’s the thing;
It seemed like we had a lot in common and was just generally craving camaraderie and connection. I felt a sense of belonging with her and wanted to expand that energy in my life, and wanted to do anything I could to get closer to her for those reasons. But I guess this is where we have the first red flag;
One day after class, she extended an invitation to me to a meet up of sorts, (I’m being sparing with details just out of fear she might read this) and when she invited me it seemed like it was gonna be this big thing with lots of people invited, and just in general in talking to her it seemed as if she was very well connected and respected within her community, had lots of friends and connects, and I thought this was gonna be a huge thing that I was even lucky to be invited to. I was super stoked and exited about it.
However when the day of the event came, I was super tired and slow to getting up that morning. I figured I would just make my way over whenever I could since it seemed causal and like you could drop in whenever. I also figured there would be more than enough people that no one would really even notice my arrival or departure. (Plus, sometimes it’s chic to be fashionably late ;) ). Well…. I was most definitely wrong.
When I showed up I heard someone excitedly shout my name, which was her, and she waved me down to the “meet up”…. There was literally only one person there and it had been going on for 2+ hours. I was definitely a bit unnerved, but also didn’t want to be rude, and like I said I was just kind of happy to be there and be getting invited to things. But it was kinda like, damn…. Are these all the friends you have?
I had dressed up and looked cute but they were just kind of wearing whatever and I felt awkward and overdressed and also embarrassed now that I was even this late because it was clearly much more intimate than I expected and my arrival/absence was DEFINITELY felt. We had chatted a bit and that was cool but then I remember her confessing me that she had cried to her husband earlier that morning that she was scared nobody was going to show up and how thrilled she was that not only one, but TWO people had showed up and that it felt like she had friends. I wasn’t really sure what to say or make of that.
She also…. The whole time (and mind you, this is our first legitimate interaction out of yoga class) just kind of kept talking maniacally AT me, not to me, and was coming off almost even manic, and she had formed a white crust of spit around her mouth probably from talking so much that I couldn’t look away from. To say the least, I was a bit disturbed coming away from this interaction but I just kept telling myself that I was being too judgmental of her and to give it a chance and that maybe she was just hyper that day and that I had probably had unintentional embarrassing hygiene moments as well. So I keep going to class and that’s that.
There were several other red flag moments between this first interaction and the next one, mostly just her incredibly cringey social media presence that I genuinely almost couldn’t stand to see without feeling like I was withering away inside, but maybe I’ll save that for later. It’s almost like I couldn’t just see that the person I thought was so cool in class and the person I was seeing her be online and outside of class were the same people. But I digress.
She had actually ended up inviting me to go with her on one of her international yoga retreats, and I was actually very excited about this. I had very little time with her in between classes, and my attraction (but also repulsion) with her was growing stronger and I wanted to figure her out and see what she was really about and what the pull I was feeling towards her was about. Plus, I love travelling and just thought it would be fun.
I had a pretty good time, but we didn’t get to talk much, HOWEVER, I do remember this distinct point during the trip where it was myself, 2-3 other fiends I had made, her brother, and her “best friend” who had happened to be her brother’s Gf in a room together, talking. the brother, the best friend, and the other friend I made just all completely started talking shit about her and I was so confused.
I felt super hurt by this actually, bc I felt like I had a inexplicable bond with the teacher who had invited me, she was the reason we were all there in that beautiful place, and I just couldn’t understand why they were choosing to be so negative about someone I thought they had claimed (at least by title) to love. They would say things like “I can’t fucking stand your sister” (one of the friends I made to the brother) and everyone would just sigh and put their hands in their head and be like “I know…. I know. It’s a lot. She’s a lot”. And I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation because I was just so confused and I knew the girl would just be so upset if she heard them saying this. Anyway… that confusion stuck with me for a while after.
Fast forward maybe a month or two, I started hanging out with her more regularly myself outside of class. I would say this is when we became more “friends”. She would invite me to other teachers classes and we would talk a lot about our lives.
I learned how she felt about her close friend and family connections, and how she often felt hurt and betrayed by people close to her and how some of her friends were actually really shady. I just got a general sense of her feeling scapegoated and libeled against by ppl that got close to her and how she had walls up for that reason.
She also shared to me that most of her family was cut off, with the exception of her brother who she had recently rekindled a connection with, hence why he was on that trip. I felt very bad for her and wanted to be a source of comfort and support, and she would often comment on how she felt a sense of camaraderie with me since I also (LITERALLY) had no family and how we have to make our chosen family. This was a sweet sentiment, for sure, but I was still sussing out how I felt about her.
So one day, a mutual friend that had been on the trip with us was having a birthday party and I guess that she was invited to it, too. She sat down next to me and I was SUPER excited to see her as I was craving her energy and hadn’t seen her in some time. But then… idk. She had had a lot to drink. I’m fully aware that she’s kind of a quirky individual, and has a way of socializing which I can sometimes find a bit uncomfortable or even intense, (like the first meetup I spoke of) but this time it was even more and seemed to be heightened by the drinking.
Her husband was sitting on her other side and kept trying to interject and insinuate that maybe she was doing a bit much, but I think she was drunk enough to the point that she just found it funny and had no awareness of how she was coming off. There’s not even a way I can describe it really, but she just seemed a bit obsessive over me and kept making jokes that were literally not funny and seemed to have lost all ability to read the room. I also had noticed that she had only had TWO beers and was acting like this already which I found… really strange.
So at some point she goes to the bathroom, and I also get in line for the bathroom about 5 mins later. When I get up to the bathroom, she’s still in there, and there’s a line of about 2 or 3 people ahead of me. When she exits the bathroom she immediately spots me and rushes up to me and just starts… drunkenly spewing.
I can’t even remember what she was saying, but we were in a pretty high class establishment and I remember her gushing over me and was saying “I just want to let you know that I don’t really have friends or let people close to me in my circle but I just want to let you know that YOU are officially in my circle and you have earned friend status to me and I’ve let you in my circle…” or something like that. And I just kept thinking, who tf even says that??? I’m pretty sure the last time I checked that friendship is a two way street and it’s not just a title we bestow onto some “lucky” person and that’s that. Like girl… let ME decide if I want to be friends too first.
It was partially that, and also the way she was drunkenly spewing was so awkward and embarrassing bc I could tell all the other women in line were like who tf is this bitch and why is she saying all this weird stuff and like, does she even know you?? Lol. Just a very odd interaction which again, I kind of wrote off, but the unsettling feeling kind of just kept growing after that point.
Then, the time that I REALLY knew something was up came up about a month later, but there are still some key details of this story that are missing. Perhaps I will discuss them later.
SO. About a month later, she invited me last minute to this concert of sorts. When I got there, I was super excited to be there, the vibes were amazing and we were having so much fun. But she had definitely had a lot, A LOT to drink. I didn’t mind at first, because everyone there seemed severely under the influence, but she would just start randomly kind of lashing out at people in the crowd and she thought it was funny? She first loudly and audibly started making fun of some guys shoes in front of us, and was trying to laugh with me as if I would join in, but when his girl friend turned around and shot her a dirty look, she had the nerve to be self conscious and mad about it. She would loudly poke fun at other people in the crowd too, but not in a ha-ha way, just in a straight up mean and asshole way and I could not understand why she would even do that or why she thought that was funny.
Again, I kind of just awkwardly laughed and brushed it off. But when all was said and done and the concert was closing, she enthusiastically invited me back to go to her house and soak in her hot tub. I kept saying are you sure?? But she was like please, PLEASE come, we have weed, we’ll smoke you out and other things and I wanted to continue the vibes because it sounded fun. And then….. completely downhill.
I had arrived back at their place before she did, but as soon as I saw them go in I knocked. When I walked in, she was pale faced up on the floor, non verbal, pretty much motionless, and staring at the ceiling. I was like oh no… it seemed like she got a bit too much to drink. I waited patiently there for a few mins, unsure of what to do as I had just drove for 45 mins and I was still 25 mins in the opposite direction away from home.
I kind of just sat around, and hoped that she would sober up. I asked if she was drunk… she said no. She ran to her bathroom multiple times while her husband (a complete socially awkward case himself) tried to take care of her while she threw up. I asked her if she puked and she also said no. So I didn’t really know what to do. I was trying to offer support/ empathy but she just kept denying any claims of anything being amiss. Her husband left to pick up a pizza and I probably just should’ve left but I’m telling you I had no idea how to exit their house without making it weird or awkward. And I also was hungry. So I just stayed… and waited for the pizza.
What happened in those 20-30 mins, I don’t even know if I can fully explain. She just became… so FUCKING WEIRD. she clearly was embarrassed that I was seeing her drunk, and I think was trying to over compensate. But she just turned into an absolute freak show and I’ve never been more uncomfortable in my life.
She started hoola hooping in my face, and making these weird gremlin faces and noises at me, fell to the floor, rolled round on the floor while continuing to make the noises, convulsed on the floor, but tried to do it in a funny way, tried to make an interpretive dance for me… I’ve truly never experienced something so uncomfortable in my life. I probably do sound like an asshole, but I swear you would just have to be there to see how a) gross and b) weird and actually scary it was. I was genuinely frightened.
I’ve never seen anyone act like that and I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable or weird by showing her how clearly uncomfortable I actually was. so I just sat there and tried to laugh. But it probably came off as more of a grimace. And for the record, this woman is 33. I am 26. It was just. Obscene.
And she’s tried to act like and say multiple times that she’s like my “big sister”. Now I’ve seen a lot of drunk behavior, but not this. I wolfed down my pizza, and so did she, and she started to get even more philosophical and weird on me, showing me songs and art which were quite frankly some of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life, and I left as soon as I could.
I was so shaken and disturbed coming away from this, because like I said earlier, I thought she was a cool girl, but honestly her behavior and lack of control over herself completely terrified me. And it’s not like she was drinking liquor, it was just damn IPAs. And I just did not know what to do.
Some details I will try to add to this story, even though I know it’s monolithic at this point , is that 2 months prior to this she had gotten fired from the studio she worked at.
She had a mental breakdown during class because the manager was being mean to her, and he fired her on the spot. I remember being so angry with the owner, (honestly he IS a piece of shit human being) but I thought he was being sexist by calling her mentally unstable and I thought the way he handled things was unfair.
I went so far as to boycott the studio and completely remove myself from it in support of her and followed her to her new one. After the drunk #2 incident, I didn’t hang out with her very much, and only saw her during her class as I was locked into a certain number of classes I had paid for.
I remember her telling me that she had just started at ANOTHER studio, and got fired 3 days after on her birthday and she was talking about how unfair it was and how much of an asshole that new girl was for firing her… and I believed her. AGAIN.
I went so far as to block that girl on Instagram too, but deep down I kind of knew that she had probably just been fired bc let’s face it… as I was starting to discover, she WAS a lot. and the studio was in an upper class area , catered towards more upper echelon people, and I just don’t think she was fitting that image. I lent her an empathetic ear, because that’s all I would want in that situation.
But where she fucked up was sending me screenshot proof of the text exchange between her and that girl, thinking I would take her side, and later sending me screenshots of another conversation she had with the OTHER manager. She told me that this new girl fired her for bringing her husband to class. In my mind I was like, oh no, is she racist!?! Because her husband was black. But no, that’s not what I read at all.
It was the most reasonable, level headed response to someone ever, and laid out multiple offenses and reasons she didn’t want her at the studio. The reasons were honestly so embarrassing that I don’t know why she would send it to me and think I would side with her. She recently also sent me messages with the other boss and the last thing he says to her is “I hope you get help for your mental illness because whatever you have is serious and will impact all your relationships and business and things that you do”. And honestly I can now say in retrospect that those were the truest words ever spoken.
When I read these texts, I had a look back at my whole relationship with and how she would always paint everyone else to be the villain and how everyone is so mean to HER… and the whole time the common denominator was her. It was always her. And it made me rethink everything.
I’ve even had extensive conversations with some of the other people on her trip that were talking shit and couldn’t stand her and they all told me the same things. How it seemed like she was the coolest person ever and had her shit together and seemed like she was going places… but deep down she was just an absolute mess and pushed everyone away from her. And I no longer felt like I was going crazy.
But like I said, she formed a really close bond with me (I think from her perspective) and said she felt like my big sister and family, and shared all these stories about her feeling isolated and shut out by people, but now here I am, doing the exact same thing to her. Icing her out of my life. And I just wanna ask you guys…
Am the asshole?

As the title implies, this is the first in a series of stories about affairs I had in the military. I've never been married, not really interested in being married, but I have been with four married men in my life. In each case, I knew what I was doing, but I loved the rush of doing something I shouldn't as much as I liked the relationship itself. I'll save you all the negative comments. I was the homewrecking whore, etc, etc. If that's what you're here to comment about, save your breath, I'll just block you so people who want to actually read my content don't have to deal with you. If this is your sort of story, I'd love to hear your feedback on content or how I can improve my writing! One quick author's note, i will not be using people's real names or naming specific units that my stories happened in. I was never caught in my sexual affairs, no wives found out and left their husband over me, and no one's military career ended because of me and I intend to keep it that way. This is for fun writing, not doxing someone's past transgressions to the world. Also let me know if you want to see more stories! <3 Hannah
First, a little about me. I'm 5'5ish, 135ish depending on the day, and have dark brown hair that falls part way down my back with brown eyes. My mom is a Crow and my dad is Italian so the olive complexion genes are active in my family. I've got a fairly petite/athletic build with a 32B chest and a toned butt. My nipples are dark brown, on the smaller side, and I shave everywhere. I'm a fan of tattoos and have a feather on my foot, flower pieces on my right hip into my lower ribs, left shoulder, and lower back, a small script piece in my left side bra line, a green carebear in my left bikini line and a large dream catcher down my left ribs. If there's a detail I've left out, feel free to ask ;)
Without further ado, my story:
I was an 18 year old private, 92F (fuel handler) working on a base in the heart of Bourbon Country. It was a huge culture shock for me, coming from a small town in Maine to a massive military base with more people in my division than my home town. I honestly felt a little lost and overwhelmed, which probably contributed to why I sought out a relationship where I felt wanted. It's easy on a base like that to feel completely ignored. My unit had long been integrated and was about 30-40% female on any given day, so no I wasn't getting hit on constantly, and no I wasn't sleeping with every guy in my barracks.
Speaking of my living situation, I was in a 4-story building with all of the junior enlisted soldiers in my battalion. There wasn't open bays and there wasn't all girls areas. We roomed by company in our own room with a bedroom, closet, bathroom, and a fridge/sink/1 burner stove setup by the door as a kitchenett. Barracks could definitely be a wild time, similar to a college dorm but contrary to your favorite porno, gangbang orgies with 20 guys "running a train" are something I never saw or heard of in my 4 years living there and I was/am a fairly sexually active adult.
Given my situation of being totally new and massively out of my element in terms of culture shock, I quickly turned to Bumble to help sort out my dating scene because the base really was a city and everyone is pretty insular when it comes to their unit, so trying to meet guys who also aren't your coworkers means turning to the swipe game. After a few days online and connections with everyone from the local off base that definitely has fewer teeth than fingers to the obviously fake bot that just screams scam, and swiping left on some guys from my own company (hey, 18-25 year old demographic has the same needs, I get it), I finally matched with a 26 year old, Dustin, from another brigade on our post.
Given 10 seconds on Dustin's profile, I could tell he was an officer and anyone with 10 seconds to spare on my profile could tell I was junior enlisted, but we matched anyway. He was handsome in a gentle sort of way. Sandy brown hair in a military cut, athletic features that let you know he was fit without screaming chiseled gymrat, and a style that screamed more laid back homebody than the stereotypical "bro vet" vibe that you get with some young officers....and a ton of junior enlisted. I took a pause and decided to message him despite knowing our ranks didn't line up because the way I saw it, we were in totally seperate brigades and there'd be no reason we would ever interact or influence eachother at work.
A few minutes later I got a reply back and soon I was texting back and forth getting to know a genuinely sweet guy with a love of the outdoors, fishing, camping, and an eye for photography, particularly some truly astounding landscape photos. The conversation came easy and I found myself happy to have a guy so interested in me. Before I got completely swept off my feet, I brought up the elephant in the room and mentioned that I was an E2 and he was an O3. He dropped the bombshell that "yeah but I'm just a guy on staff, that's not a big issue, the real issue is I need to be discreet because I'm married. Please don't hate me"
Boom. Of course the super easy to talk to makes me feel wanted and moves past my mention of our rank differences drops the counter-bomb of he has a wife. In all of my 18 years I thought I would have run away instantly. Nope. Not me. I was intrigued. I didn't run away, and I came to find out that his wife was doing a year long internship with a major corporation out of state and only really came to visit on long weekends and holidays. So Dustin had turned to Bumble to fill a piece of his love life that was currently 4 states away. Not ideal I told myself, but at least she isn't like...here on post with him and he's not coming home because he's with someone else...right? To 18 year old me trying to convince myself it was okay to be with the guy I obviously was attracted to it was sound logic. It worked. I replied back that I was up for seeing what happened with the understanding that no one was gonna leave their wife over this and no one was gonna get anyone in trouble over the rank thing.
A week of texting back and forth after moving off Bumble found Dustin and I building a fast relationship that came with similar interests and easy conversation. He wasn't overly pushy about becoming anything romantic and wasn't like "Omg send nudes". I guess he was feeling this whole thing out as much as I was. Eventually I got the text one evening of "you know you look really good in that pic you have with your friends at the beach on your profile"...I know the one. I'm wearing an electric blue string sided bikini that has pretty full coverage, rides moderately low on my hips and has basic triangle cups and string ties for the top. Okay, Dustin likes me in a bikini...this is the first obvious flirting from Dustin and I decide to be a little bold and sent him a mirror selfie in the generic black bra I had worn under my uniform that day with my uniform pants still on. I get a reply back in some stereotypical guy lingo that he really likes what he sees. I told him that if he wanted to hang out, I wouldn't put my uniform shirt back on. Cue the FaceTime call, yes Dustin I will video chat with your handsome shirtless self while wearing a bra and my uniform pants thank you very much. We talked for at least an hour and things didn't turn super sexual or anything but we did agree we needed a date that weekend. The week ahead though definitely saw a spike in "tension" between us.
I was more than a little excited by the prospect of being with someone again. I had had a little fling during AIT, but since coming to my first duty station, I had been in a bit of a dry spell. Bumble had finally come through for me, and the combined rush of potentially being with a guy again, plus the fact he was one of those forbidden officers, and married? I was on edge. I definitely had my moments of "holy shit I shouldn't be doing this" but those feelings were replaced by a feeling of almost insatiable excitement that had me counting down the days to Saturday. For the first time since highschool, I found myself putting some serious effort into some scandalous but not too "revealing" snaps to Dustin, teasing him with a peak of which panties I wore to work today, or hoping in the shower after PT with just my black Army tshirt on and sending a pic of it clinging to every curve and hiding just enough below my waist. Like I said, hard-core tease mode for four whole days.
Flash forward to Saturday and I was in my barracks room, getting ready to meet a guy I was 100% falling for just a little and I decided that no matter what happened tonight, I was not gonna be the girl who gives it all up on the first date. Definitely set myself up to potentially cock block myself, but I saw it as I didn't want to be the girl he slept with and left, I wanted to continue to tease him and leave him wanting more. I wanted him to want me. I slipped into a pair of almost painted on skinny jeans with a cute teal thong underneath with a black tanktop and matching pushup bra on top. I drove to Dustin's house somewhere in the on base housing that I'd never been and took a deep breath before walking to the door.
This was it. I was the new Private about to go see a married officer behind his wife's back. I almost chickened out and drove away, but found myself ringing the doorbell and quickly being invited in, pulled into a warm hug and a "wow you look even cuter in person" from the handsome man of my DMs, Dustin. He had apparently spent the day smoking some brisket because he had quite the spread laid out for us in the dining room as I got a quick tour of the common spaces of his home. Definitely nicer than my barracks room.
Dinner accompanied the two of us loudly cheering on a random football game on TV, sorta snuggled on the couch but at a "almost together " sort of distance. There were all sorts of reasons for us to brush up against eachother and it was almost this cat and mouse game of how far do we go as the evening progressed. Don't get me wrong, there was a ton of conversation and it came just as naturally as it had online, but now we had the palpable tension of two of us who had never been this far deciding where the limit for tonight would be.
Eventually Dustin cut the tension, saying, "you really do love to tease don't you?". Yes. Let's talk about how I've driven you wild for days and now you want me. I leaned into him, kissed him quickly but firmly on the lips before pulling away, leaving an inch between us as I looked into his eyes and whispered "yes sir". I found my face immediately in his hands, my lips pressed to his and our tongues intertwined. I gasped as he suddenly held me close and we made every effort to close any space between us as we passionately made out, his fingers running through my hair, my nails scraping his back over his tight tshirt and soon I was hot, breathless, and sure I wanted more.
I pulled away and told him he didn't get all of me tonight but he could still have dessert. I had him sit up on the edge of the couch and pulled his shorts to the floor, tossing them aside towards an end table holding pictures of him and his wife and our dirty dishes from dinner. I in turn lifted my tanktop off over my head, unclasped my black pushup bra and let it fall to the floor, kneeling between Dustin's spread legs as my small brown nipples hardened into firm nubs in arousal. I pulled back my long brown hair and tied it in a messy ponytail before bringing my face down to his firm, six inches between his legs.
I teased the length of his shaft with the tip of my tongue, feeling him twitch in expectation as I repeatedly, softly traced his length before circling his tip and heading back down the way I came. I grasped his base and swallowed half his length in one wet mouthful, a gasp of pleasure escaping his lips as my own pushed further towards his base, attempting to take his entire firm cock before the tip slipped down into my throat, triggering a slight gag reflex as I tightened around his shaft and I came up for air, a slight trail of drool connecting my lips to his tip. I stroked his now well lubed cock in a twisting motion as I asked him if his little private was doing well for him. A hand on the back of my head guiding me back to his shaft told me this wasn't too far for him. I swallowed him nearly to his base, grasping him with one hand as my free hand unbuttoned my jeans and slipped into the front of my now soaked panties, the arousal of the situation I found myself bringing me close to an edge myself.
I worked Dustin's shaft with a bobbing head, sucking lips and twisting hand that matched the rhythm I was working against my clit with the hand buried in my jeans. I increased my pace, with Dustin's hand making sure I still brought myself far enough down his length as my own pleasure came more and more to the forefront as my now soaked vagina craved more attention. I popped off his cock as I felt it begin to swell and told him to stand up as I scooted back from the couch, kneeling between his legs, looking up at him as one hand held my jeans open while the other furiously rubbed my clit as I came close to cumming myself. I moaned for Dustin to cum for me as I looked up at him, the inner walls of my vagina clenching in orgasm as the filthy phrase left my lips and I was greeted with thick streams of cum shooting over my head before falling on my uplooking face and bare breasts and Dustin climaxed after an apparently decent dry spell.
I knelt between his legs, cum covering my face and chest, my own arousal soaking my panties and in that moment I felt like the hottest woman on earth. I made a man forget his entire world and do this with me in a home that wasn't mine but his. I was addicted to the rush. Dustin reached down and offered me a hand to pull me up. He led me topless to the guest bathroom where I cleaned up, washing my face and chest before walking back to the livingroom and redressing. Neither of us made mention of the line we had just crossed together, but we sat on the couch, now cuddled like a couple with the ice broken and finished the football game that had been forgotten awhile ago.
After the game we both agreed that I should probably get going, but we agreed to see eachother again and made a date for a midweek hangout. I kissed Dustin goodnight and drove back to my barracks in my still wet panties that I hadn't changed out of. I sent Dustin a snap in them, a wet spot still visible in the front with a caption "the things you do to me(; "...needless to say he was proud of himself. I went to bed dreaming of what could come from this, and truly happy to feel wanted, even if it was from a man who wasn't all mine.
Thank you all for reading this far. Again, like I said before, any rude comments will just get you a block. If that's what you need to do to feel good about yourself, so be it. For those of you who enjoyed this, please let me know if you'd like to read more! I'm always open to constructive feedback and critiques to improve my writing! Have a great evening! <3 Hannah

Many individuals suffer from the debilitating effects of jaw pain, often a consequence of Temporomandibular joint (TMJ) disorders. Bruxism the grinding and clenching of teeth can induce these TMJ related issues; however, dental mouthguards offer an effective solution by protecting your teeth and alleviating associated jaw discomfort.
In this extensive article, we shall explore the advantages, varieties and key considerations of utilizing mouthguards for TMJ. If you seek relief from jaw pain, continue reading to discover how these mouthguards can assist.

Understanding TMJ and its Causes

The temporomandibular joint (TMJ) is the hinge joint that connects your jawbone to your skull. TMJ disorders can cause pain and discomfort in the jaw joint and the muscles that control jaw movement. Bruxism, stress, anxiety, or even certain medications can contribute to TMJ disorders. Teeth grinding and clenching can lead to significant damage to the teeth and exacerbate jaw pain.

Benefits of Dental Mouthguards for TMJ

Protection from Teeth Grinding: Dental mouthguards act as a barrier, preventing the upper and lower teeth from grinding against each other during sleep. By cushioning the impact and reducing the pressure on the teeth, mouthguards help protect against tooth damage.
Jaw Pain Relief: Mouthguards provide relief by minimizing the strain on the jaw joint and the surrounding muscles. They help alleviate pain, soreness, and stiffness associated with TMJ disorders.

Types of Mouthguards for TMJ

Over-the-Counter Dental Guards: Sporting goods stores and pharmacies stock these mouthguards. To fit a range of mouth sizes, they are available in three sizes: small, medium, and big. Boil-and-bite guards are one type of over-the-counter guard that let you adjust the fit by soaking the material in hot water to soften it and shape it to match the contours of your mouth.
Custom mouthguards: After obtaining impressions of your teeth and jaw, dentists can make personalized dental guards. When it comes to fit and comfort, these guards outperform those found in stores. Custom mouthguards offer the best relief from jaw pain by ensuring a good bite alignment.

Selecting the Right Mouthguard

When choosing a mouthguard for TMJ, several factors should be considered:
Comfort: A comfortable mouthguard encourages regular use and maximum effectiveness. Custom-made guards often offer superior comfort due to their personalized fit.
Bite Alignment: Mouthguards that align the bite properly help reduce muscle tension and promote relaxation of the jaw muscles, leading to improved pain relief.
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Professional Guidance: Consulting with a dentist or healthcare professional experienced in TMJ disorders is crucial for selecting the right mouthguard for your specific needs. They can provide personalized recommendations based on your symptoms, jaw structure, and overall oral health.

Caring for Your Dental Guard

To maintain the effectiveness and longevity of your mouthguard, proper care is essential. Follow these tips:
Cleanliness: Clean your mouthguard after each use with a toothbrush and toothpaste or antibacterial soap. Regular cleaning prevents the buildup of bacteria and maintains oral hygiene.
Regular Check-ups: Include your dental guard during routine dental check-ups. Dentists can examine the guard for signs of wear, ensure proper fit, and make any necessary adjustments.
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I know and do all the things and tricks. Dear god, I have all the visual prompts and reminders and systems in place, and even a LOVELY wife who reminds me of the things I need to do to survive. But like GOD. Why does it require SO MUCH.
Keeping this meat machine running is becoming a whole full time job. For context I have ADHD, ASD, Ehlers Danlos (Accompanied by bouts of Dysautonomia and POTS), and PMDD/PME meaning my PMS phase is EXTRA cooked turning me into a deep-fried werewolf half the month. Oh and i'm trans-nonbinary and have undergone top surgery and low dose testosterone....
So first off there's the BASICS OF LIFE eating breathing sleeping, homeostasis. WELL SOMETIMES MY BODY WONT DO IT AND I HAVE TO STEP IN.
Gotta feed myself every day multiple times a day. Sometimes body won't tell me i'm hungry until its too late. Repeated alarms get ignored /cause me misophonia and rage.
Gotta decide what to eat every time.
Gotta be mindful about getting good nutrition.
Gotta hope i haven't lost a safe food for some unknown reason wherein the sight smell idea and texture makes me suddenly go from pleasure to gagging.
Gotta have variety tho. Brain won't eat the same thing every day so there has to be a variety of "safe food" b/c ASD and "dopamine food" b/c ADHD available.
Gotta get groceries then too. But don't shop when you're hungry b/c thats how you blow the budget. It's worse on T b/c T makes me hungry as FUCK especially once we upped my dose( I'm actually going back down b/c this effect is UNBEARABLE. )
Gotta put water ON my body/clothes in the sun b/c I don't regulate my temperature.. I get cold when its less than 65' outside and overheat when its hotter than 78'.
Gotta wear and manage layers of clothing b/c of said inability to regulate temperature properly.
Gotta put water IN my body too but I don't know what thirst even feels like so i have to do it consciously or else I just....won't drink water. Which means....
Gotta keep enough water bottles of the RIGHT TYPE on hand b/c I just WONT drink out of a normal cup. I'll sip but to meet water need it's gotta be those chewy nip coleman bottles. don't ask me why maybe it's the mouthfeel ????
Gotta take drugs to regulate my HBP b/c i've got POTS. We actually suspect hyperadrenergic POTS b/c I respond well to Guanfacine and Clonidine and watesalt intake wasn't changing it.
Gotta take ALL MY MEDS EVERY DAY SAME TIME. Even with the autoreminder I miss it a lot especially if I flip it and forget to unflip it. or drop the batteries etc.
But if I take the POTS meds then the side effect is that if I forget the meds for even a DAY my body gets rebound effects which debilitate me worse than the POTS itself. So I stop taking the meds regularly and only take them as needed when I'm having more symptoms than usual.
Which is fine and dandy 2 weeks out of the month but the other 2 weeks .....fuck me.
Gotta batten down the hatches every month for werewolf week Because I have PMDD!! And I get POTS symptoms real bad during luteal phase b/c my body decides i'm a topsy tervy WEREWOLF???? and wants to crawl out of my skin. do all the drugs and bite my leg off/harm myself. So then i'm flippy, brain foggy, agitated anxious sensory overwhelmed and brutally insomniatic for 1-2 weeks EVERY MONTH.
Gotta remember tho take the gabapentin it really helps during wolf week. Whoop one more med to manage.
Gotta go to the pharmacy everywhenever. B/c of course they don't pill pack, or autoship and you take 2 controlled meds which must be picked up in person.
Now you might wonder....well why are you still having luteal phases if you're trans and on T? WELL B/C MY OVARIES JUST WONT QUIT. I'm in the male range for Testosterone even when I was at "low dose". My estrogen level is in the guttenearly undetectable but my body JUST KEEPS CYCLING. I even took nuvaring for 6 months no change. and I've tried two types of combo birth control and one makes me sex-repulsed/depressed and the other made me dysphoric and suidcidal. So now we're trying the POP. I don't think it'll work.... But its something to try. Also gotta take topical E for my hoo-ha b/c ....well I don't want atrophy. But that one seems to be treating me okay.
Gotta take my T shot every week and the topical finasteride every day. But T relieves my gender dysphoria significantly, reduces a lot of my PMDD SI/RAGE symptoms, and T is fantastic because it increases my muscle mass which reduced my joint slippage reducing pain? All good right?
Gotta see a derm b/c you're having a scarring alopecia flare up! But then that pesky scarring alopecia comes back. I had it before T, I actually had low T levels back then and i've been on finasteride my whole transition. It seems to run in my family. I've been symptom free for 7 years but something this year restarts the inflammatory process (probably surgery). Typical treatment is topical steroids and topical minoxidil. I have THREE cats. I will not kill my cats for my hair.
Gotta take the minoxidil now too. So they put me on oral minoxidil (and topical steroids). Which lowers my BP great but increases my HR not great. Now i'm constantly anxious about my HR my BP whether i'm fine or normal or having an episode or need to stop my treatment or restart it.
Gotta take more meds and see my GP. Great.
Gotta massage those top surgery scars every night. B/c mobility matters! Adhesions are bad. And the hEDS makes me scar like a weirdo. (hypertrophic and atrophic O.o) plus I want tattoos.
So lets assume i've managed the baseline physiological needs. Fed my body, watered my soul, sacrificed my cats to the three headed god of bendy elbows. Not having insomnia so bad the tech at your sleep study goes ....."is it always like this for you?".
Well then there's the psychological needs and problems.
Gotta take the ADHD meds or I literally won't get out of bed, will doomscroll for hours and watch my life fall apart.
Gotta take the SSRIs or else the crippling rumination, depression and obsessive body checking behaviors interrupt my life.
Gotta take Buspirone otherwise the SSRIS make me unable to orgasm and obliterates my sex drive. Thankfully my spouse's has also lowered these days due to her own meds so it's not causing conflict in the relationship like it used to. Sex is the only place in my life where I haven't experienced trauma and it's important to me personally as well for all the reasons.
Gotta work**.** Thats all i'll say there. b/c that is its own laundry list.
Gotta to do my accounting, pay bills etc.
Gotta do hygiene every single day 2x a day.
Gotta watch what I eat b/c i'm severely sensitive to gluten which limits eating out. So it's harder to do fun things with people/go out to eat with friends or order take-out.
Gotta remember to call/text my friends.
Gotta remember to call/text my father.
Gotta see all the fucking drs about all my fucking medical issues. Schedule and attend the appointments. Yes we hit our OOP MAX EVERY YEAR.
Gotta work out or else risk physical decompensation with increased joint subluxation or dislocations. And also for my MH/because I love acrobatics/aerials. I started decomping after surgery and the pain was atrocious and the injury cycle was beginning. I forgot just how fast the slipping happens.
Gotta attend to my loved ones. my wife and her needs, and my dog and my 3 cats.
Gotta clean the house, gotta wash the sheets, gotta treat the folliculitis infection I gave myself shaving, gotta tidy up after my hyperfixation projects and keep tidying my special interest projects.....
Gotta find/eliminate all the mold bombs regularly. b/c i'm horribly allergic to mold. So you know all the cups of coffee I didn't finish, hidden bowls of half eaten food lost under a shirt, or accidently left in on a bookshelf or in a bathroom, or orange peels dried too slowly or fruit in the fridge left a day too long....
Gotta get my blood drawn again for the 7th time this year.
Gotta schedule more medical tests.
Gotta let the ASD gods rule the weekend and worldbuild for 11 straight hours b/c I may be a sexless angelic demigod but hey at least I ENJOY my special interests again.
All this so that I don't fall apart. So I can get up, work, earn money, make friends, enjoy my special interests , care for myself and my wife and my cats and my dog , and hopefully live on past 30 without succumbing to either my demons or the inevitable progressive worsening of my physical disabilities.
Some days I just wanna be sedated.

i'm 15, last night i took 13 benadryls, idek why i did it because i don't abuse drugs like that and i wasn't trying to hurt myself. i smoke weed and drink but i don't do it in a bad way. and my parents usually monitor my intake. while i was on the benadryl, i was fting my friend and i hardly understood what she was saying. i was so dissociated. she had to go at some point and so i was left alone. i ended up going to my room and my dog followed me. going up the stairs was a nightmare, it felt so warped and unreal.
this morning i still felt sick, i felt like i had the worst hangover ever and i just felt weird. idk how to explain it. i was still dissociating but it was way better. i looked at the texts i made to another of my friends and they didn’t make any sense. i randomly brought up things we weren’t talking about when he asked if i was okay and stuff.
after i went upstairs, my dog ended up cuddling with me but i kept making really weird movements that i couldn't control and i kept hitting him. one of the times, i accidentally hit his chin and pushed it up. i could hear his teeth clack together. i feel like my dog hates me now and he's never gonna trust me again and i feel so bad that i made him go through it because i couldn't stop. i think he hates me though. i just feel so bad for what i did to him.

Seeing as the media coverage has been a tad slanted, I thought I would put together a list of things from the Pacer's version of events of the last couple days:
1.) Knicks wore all black to Game 6 "funeral" for Pacers at Gainbridge. Got smacked. No talk of "frontrunning".
2.) For all the talk of how well the Knicks played. They got blown out 3 times in the series, everyone outside of N.Y. knows they were gifted Game 1, and lost on a buzzer beater. 5-2 series, in which you got smoked 3 times, historically, ain't really a moral victory.
3.) "They" are trying to pull a "chicken-egg" with the injuries for the Knicks and rewrite history. Knicks didn't play bench players because they weren't good enough. Starters play 48 minutes a game. Starters go down, multiple bench players (who weren't good enough to play not one minute) drop 20 pieces. Thibbs should have played bench before he ran his starters to death.
4.) Burke was getting a Jordan whistle and at one point shot more free throws than our entire team.
5.) The amount of points we score in the paint while not shooting free throws needs to be investigated. We don't JUST shoot jumpers, we pound the paint relentlessly. We only had three free throws in the first half of Game 7, a half that we scored over 70 points.
6.) For all the tough talk, J.B. and D.D. are world-class floppers and the refs/league allowed it for seven games without ever calling them out for it.
7.) Shout out to Rick for working the back handed compliment into the press conference acknowledging how they pushed us in back whole series on rebounds, uncalled.
8.) Jalen Brunson spun and fell, that was not a foul
9.) DiVincenzo slipped and fell, that was not a foul.
10.) J.J. Redick and Doris, on live t.v., having a minute long conversation about how good players catch you with "your hand in the cookie jar" after showing a replay where Ben Sheppard didn't reach at all is a special kind of bias.
11.) Showing a replay of one common foul from three different cameras until you find an angle to show were Neismith MIGHT have grazed JB is a special kind of bias.
12.) All the experts that picked the Knicks to win before the game, knew the Knicks were injured. Then after the Knicks lost, blamed it on the injuries.
13.) Rick ran a 10 man rotation all year. Trying to keep players healthy and getting players experience is a part of coaching. Thibbs saw OG run before the game and put him out there. We all saw him run. Is the coach who put OG out there a coach worried about player health?
14.) Myles Turner got two handed pushed in his back by IHart when he was jumping for a dunk attempt and three refs just watched. No whistle.
15.) Siakam was given a tech for getting pushed by DiVincenzo. If the tech was for interaction with Ihart, instigated by IHart, then IHart should have received tech too. Either way, Pacers should have had a free throw.
16.) Hali outplayed the newly crowned King of N.Y. Both had two bad games. Both were injured, only one's injuries were allowed as an excuse or even discussed. Hali doesn't flop. Hali doesn't foul bait. Hali gets his team involved and doesn't play hero ball. J.B. missed important free throws, again and again. Hali showed up in Game 7, Brunson was stinking up the joint, even before he got hurt. Hali outshined him and won.
17.) One of the halftime "points" for the ESPN halftime show dealt with Knicks closing out Pacers. We were up 15. (Game 6, they played the Knicks theme song at halftime, Knicks were losing badly).
18.) DiVincenzo told Hali that he only talks crazy when the Pacers are winning. DiVincenzo only talked crazy when the Knicks were winning.
19.) Hali was raining shot after shot in first three quarters of Game 7. Montage put together of his highlights was of him talking crazy to fans, not one of his shots. He had hit five threes and had 21 points, 6 minutes into the 3rd, when they showed it.
20.) Your Indiana Pacers went into Madison Square Garden for a Game 7 and despite the fans, the media, and the refs put on the BEST SHOOTING PERFORMANCE IN THE HISTORY OF PLAYOFF BASKETBALL. No asterisk. No fake stat. Not the best in May, or best for the Pacers, or best in the Garden. The best ever. Period.