Peptides are short chain amino acids that regulate various physiological processes, including metabolism and fat metabolism. In this paper, the most effective abdominal fat burning peptide, its mechanism of action and the current research status in this field were discussed.
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Candidate peptides for reducing belly fat:
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1. Melanotan II (MT-II):

MT-II was originally developed as a synthetic analogue of the melanocortin peptide hormone alpha-melanocyte stimulating hormone (alpha-MSH) and has received attention for its potential role in weight loss. It works by activating melanocortin receptors in the brain, which regulate appetite and energy expenditure. Studies have shown that MT-II may induce lipolysis, the breakdown of fat stores, thereby reducing abdominal fat accumulation.
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1. GHK-Cu (Copper peptide) :

GHK-Cu is a natural peptide found in human plasma that has demonstrated a variety of biological activities, including wound healing and anti-inflammatory effects. Recent studies have shown its potential in fat metabolism and redistribution. GHK-Cu can promote adipose tissue remodeling and promote the breakdown of stubborn abdominal fat deposits.
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1. Tesamoline:

Tesamorelin, a synthetic peptide analogue of growth hormone releasing hormone (GHRH), has been studied for its efficacy in reducing visceral obesity, including abdominal fat. It works by stimulating the release of endogenous growth hormone, which promotes lipolysis and reduces visceral fat mass. Clinical trials have shown promising results in individuals with HIV-associated abdominal fat accumulation.
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1. Iparerelin:

Iparerelin is a selective growth hormone secretagogue that stimulates the pituitary gland to produce and release growth hormone. Its potential to promote fat loss lies in its ability to increase growth hormone levels without significantly affecting cortisol or prolactin levels. While more research specifically looking at its effects on belly fat is needed, iparerelin holds promise as a peptide that improves body composition.
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Mechanism of action:
These peptides work to reduce belly fat through a variety of mechanisms, including:
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- Activation of melanocortin receptors to regulate appetite and energy expenditure (MT-II).
- Stimulates the release of growth hormone, promotes lipolysis and fat metabolism (Tesamorelin, Ipamorelin).
Adipose tissue remodeling and regulation of inflammation (GHK-Cu).
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Research status:
While pre-clinical and clinical studies have provided insight into the potential efficacy of peptides in reducing belly fat, further research is needed to clarify their safety, efficacy, and long-term effects. Clinical trials with larger sample sizes and longer durations are needed to determine the optimal dosing regimen and potential side effects of these peptides. In addition, comparative studies evaluating the effectiveness of different peptides alone or in combination with lifestyle interventions are essential for full understanding and application in clinical Settings.
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Conclusion:
Peptides offer a promising avenue for reducing belly fat, offering new treatment options for individuals struggling to achieve lean body mass. While research in this area is still evolving, peptides such as Melanotan II, GHK-Cu, Tesamorelin, and Ipamorelin have shown potential to regulate fat metabolism and promote abdominal fat loss through various mechanisms.
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The Scriptures seem to imply that the kingdom of God isn't exactly synonymous with what is called "the Church." The Church was a temporary eschatological community of believers that existed on earth in preparation of a kingdom where God Himself would reign, and said community had Christ reign over them in the meantime. The head of the Church was Christ, with the Father serving as his head (1 Cor. 11:3). The Scriptures teach that, when all Christ's enemies were to be made his footstool, he was to give back all authority to the Father (Psa. 110:1, 1 Cor. 15:22-28), and it is this page's belief that this happened in 70 AD.
The following quotation is from the above hyperlink:

As for the "1000 years" mentioned in Revelation, they are apocalyptic metaphor for the 40 years Christ "reigned" (triumphed) over his enemies both human and spirit, with the final triumph being the judgement of apostate Jerusalem. The "1000 years" began with his ascension, and ended with this judgement.

Thus, the community to replace the Church on earth was to be the kingdom of God. But, what even is the kingdom of God, and why did God have to reclaim authority of His own creation in the first place?
To be as succinct as possible: man sinned, and so the great level of authority God initially granted us ourselves over the creation was stripped. As a result, the human condition has suffered and it must be redeemed for God to allow us to reign with Him in the way that He originally intended for us. God has always been sovereign, of course, but He seeks the good of man to make us stewards over His world with Him, as that was His original plan and this was His original view of what a kingdom of His truly looks like: a kingdom characterized by man's love for Him and love for others.
A Biblical understanding of Adam's sin, contrary to popular thought, isn't that we are guilty of what he did personally. We simply inherit his fallen nature and a fallen world as a result of his sin, the same way a baby could leave the womb already addicted to certain substances because the mother abused said substances while pregnant. It's not the baby's fault for its condition, it was the parent's. But the baby is born with this condition and enters the world like this nonetheless.
The implication of this is that we are all only guilty of our own sins, and whether or not we ever seek to treat (or possibly cure) our condition in the first place is on us. We were dealt a bad hand due to Adam, sure, but God doesn't hold us responsible for what our forefather did. God only holds us responsible for what we do, and whether or not we seek to be liberated from the dark forces which keep us in bondage to our sinful condition (Gen. 4:6-7, Deut. 24:16, Jer. 31:30, Ezek. 18, Matt. 9:9-13).
The whole Old Testament is essentially a record of God's people constantly breaking their covenant(s) with Him. There are individuals mentioned throughout that were, of course, commended by God and the Biblical authors for their righteousness in honestly pursuing to remain faithful to their covenant with Him. But even the best of these people often faltered and, in fact, did rather heinous things in their lives at one point or another. One of the greatest examples of this is king David, who was literally called by the Scriptures "a man after God's own heart" (1 Sam. 13:14, Acts 13:22). Yet, this same man at one point committed adultery and then murdered the man he stole the wife of to try and cover it up. This was a heinous thing, and David repented of what he did with genuine sorrow and guilt toward God. God ultimately forgave him, but not without a heavy hand of chastisement and earthly consequences for his actions.
All throughout the Old Testament, you see various men of God who were deemed righteous, but these same men were usually shown to have some major flaw that prevented them from living a life that could be characterized as consistent obedience to the commandments to love God and love others as themselves. There is something deeply wrong with man's heart, according to the Bible. Something so wrong, in fact, that a whole prophecy had to be given that promised to address the issue of man's seeming incapability to accomplish fulfilling the commandment to love consistently on their own without some sort of divine help from above:

"A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh."-Ezekiel 36:26

Naturalistic philosophies see the physical world as all that exists. Humans beings are the result of mindless, chance causes and processes. Humans are essentially animals – highly evolved, but no different in significance than any other living thing. Thus naturalistic views demote humans. But this view leaves a lot unexplained. Why do humans practice altruism, benevolence, or acts of heroism? And what explains acts of incredible evil? Sure, naturalistic arguments have been made that true altruism doesn't exist, and that "unconditional love" is really just an illusion that's been disguised very well by our survival instincts that we've developed over a long period of time at certain stages of our evolutionary process. However, many people have found such arguments to be unpersuasive and naive when compared to their actual experience of the world as they mature in their lives and have what they know to be truly meaningful experiences that can't simply be reduced in the way that the naturalist wishes them to be. This realization was ultimately why I transitioned from hard atheism to agnostic spiritualism at one point or another.
On the other extreme of these things, transcendental worldviews and philosophies say that the physical world is illusory. Only the spiritual world is ultimately real. Humans are an expression of the divine spirit that is the essence of all things. If naturalistic views demote humans to the level of animals, transcendental views promote human beings. God is not “out there” somewhere; we are God. God is all, thus God is us. But this view doesn’t explain real evil. Why are people selfish? Why do they hurt others? What accounts for personal acts of evil like rape or terrorism? If we are all truly "God," then why would we ever do such things to what is ultimately "ourself"? And why can't a person who practices the belief that we are all actually "God" be only loving? There are so many people who adopt this view of reality who are constantly, day by day, finding that they struggle to be as truly loving as they wish to be because they will still sometimes find themselves thinking and doing rather evil and selfish things. I can speak from experience here, remembering throwing myself into the New Age movement when I was desperately seeking what I did not know at the time was forgiveness for and redemption from my sins because of who I was as a person up until that point. I was seeking the mythic "ego death" that promised me that I could truly be loving and find the forgiveness and redemption I was searching for, because I thought that if only I truly realized I was "God" all along, I could then accomplish these things all at once and simultaneously. I eventually found even this philosophy unsatisfactory when I came to the aforementioned conclusions concerning our great capacity for evil, and also realized that forgiveness can only exist if there are two parties: forgiver and forgivee. Such a thing is impossible if there is only really one being at play at the bottom of reality, and I knew deep down that forgiving oneself (at least, on its own) will never satisfy one's pursuit for redemption that we all inherently take part in whenever pursuing to mend even our own relationships with each other as humans. Further, love would be an illusion in this philosophy too, being that there is only really one party behind and in all of existence if "everything is God." Such an idea would make true altruism a farce, as well. There would be no such thing as real sacrifice for another, because there is no "another."
The French mathematician and Christian philosopher Blaise Pascal said, “Man’s greatness and wretchedness are so evident that the true religion must necessarily teach both.” Any philosophy that cannot fully account for human greatness and human depravity at the same time should be abandoned because it misses something obvious about the human condition. The religion of the Bible has a valid explanation for human greatness: people are made in God’s image. Thus we have dignity, value, and capacity for good. The Bible also explains human evil: the image of God has been defaced by sin. Our great capacity gets used for the wrong purposes. Our creativity is placed in the service of evil and our best intentions twisted for selfish gain. Something has gone terribly wrong. While other worldviews unduly demote or promote humanity, the Bible gets the tension just right.
Thus, human nature is puzzling and conflicting. Other worldviews—both secular and religious—struggle to account for this enigma, and don't offer satisfying solutions to the problem itself. The Bible, however, explains what happened when it tells us that man rebelled against God in the paradise that was prepared for him called "the Garden of Eden." We fell into temptation and estranged ourselves from God by tarnishing the image we were created in, and now are born with a natural proclivity to do evil, despite our best efforts to do good (that is, to do good consistently).
And so, the Bible promised a solution in the prophet Ezekiel that God will literally change our natural human condition, if we simply choose to humble ourselves before Him in faith to allow for such a change. While as unbelievers our inner disposition towards God is often rebellious, we at least still have the capacity to choose to do the righteous thing in seeking God that He may change us and forgive us if we so let Him. This is one reason why Jesus, (the one who made the fulfillment of Ezekiel's prophecy even possible by his coming, sacrifice, ressurection, and outpouring of the Spirit upon his ascension), said that only faith the size of a mustard seed was required for something so miraculous as moving a mountian to happen, because so little is required from us to allow God to change us into the kind of person He's always wanted us to be, and yet changing the condition of our own heart can be compared to literally moving a mountain if we were to try and do so on our own strength alone. The mustard seed was the smallest of seeds, and yet if one simply planted it and nurtured it, it could become a bush so large that it was comparable to a tree with branches that stretched to the heavens for the very birds of the air to rest on.
It was when I came to these realizations that I prayed to God for the first time again, having been years since I did so, going so far back as to when I was a little child even. I prayed in the dead of night in my room, and asked God to show me the truth and to reveal Himself to me if indeed these things were true, and in an instant I felt His very presence in my room, and my heart was changed. To describe such an experience would be like trying to describe the taste of something to the man born without tastebuds, the color of something to the man born blind, or the sound of something to the man born deaf; there are no words, and it is only something you can know by experiencing it for yourself. Suddenly and all at once, I knew right then and there that Jesus really was who he said he was, that the one true God is the God of the Bible, and that I have been forgiven. As the time of this post, it's been 5 years since then, I'm 23 now, and I'm still walking with God.
My prayer for anyone reading this that may not know God for themselves yet is that one day, you will too.
Back to the topic at hand.
When Adam sinned, we fell under the tyranny of death, corruption, evil heavenly powers, and sin itself. When Jesus came, Jesus was the new and exalted human, the new Adam, through whom humanity could now realize their original destiny that was laid out for them in the Garden of Eden. Because Jesus, being a man, obeyed unto death, he has defeated the powers which held us so long under bondage; we are now promised liberation so long as we simply place our faith in his sacrifice to wash us of our sins and receive the Spirit of God that is also promised to all who exercise this faith.
We often think of ‘the gospel’ as the part that brings the forgiveness of sins (and of course, that is part of the idea), but ‘gospel’ is the announcement that everything has changed in the coming of Jesus and it leads us to a new kind of living.
The gospel Jesus preached and the gospel the apostle Paul preached were different, in that Jesus preached of a kingdom where God reigns directly and with all His faithful subjects as participants in that reign. The gospel Paul preached was about the exaltation and reign of Christ, and because Christ reigned, the consummation of the kingdom of God with earth could now finally take place (Col. 1:12-13). This consummation was put on hold during Christ's "millennial" reign, which transpired between his ascension and his return. However, the consummation has come to full fruition since that return.
We will be arguing for some of these claims by pointing out how central the kingdom of God actually was to Jesus' earthly ministry and message, and demonstrate what Jesus taught about how it actually looks like.
The term 'kingdom' appears 53 times in 42 places in Matthew, 17 times in 13 places in Mark, and 41 times in 29 places in Luke. When the 'kingdom' is qualified, Luke always refers to the 'kingdom of God' (32 times) and Mark follows this pattern (14 times). Matthew, on the other hand, prefers the term "kingdom of heaven" (31 times), using the phrase to refer to the same idea "kingdom of God" only four times: 12:28, 19:24, 21:31, 43.
The Gospel of Luke records an event where Jesus responds to the population that lived near Simon Peter's house who believed in him after he had done his miraculous work there, but saw that he was leaving them:

"And when it was day, he departed and went into a desert place: and the people sought him, and came unto him, and stayed him, that he should not depart from them. And he said unto them, I must preach the kingdom of God to other cities also: for therefore [i.e., for this pupose] am I sent." (vss. 42-43)

The Greek word euangelion is often translated as the word “gospel.” In the Bible, this word is always used whenever it concerns the announcement of the reign of a new king. And in the New Testament, the Gospels themselves use this word or the phrase "good news" to summarize all of Jesus’ teachings. They say he went about “preaching the gospel [good news] of the kingdom [of God]” (Matt. 4:23).
There’s this beautiful poem in the Old Testament, and it’s in chapter 52 of the Book of Isaiah. The city of Jerusalem had just been destroyed by Babylon, a great kingdom in the North. Many of the inhabitants of the city have been sent away into exile, but a few remained in the city, and they’re left wondering, "What happened? Has our God abandoned us?" This was because Jerusalem was supposed to be the city where God would reign over the world to bring peace and blessing to everyone.
Now, Isaiah had been saying that Jerusalem’s destruction was a mess of Israel’s own making. They had turned away from their God, become corrupt, and so their city and their temple were destroyed. Everything seemed lost. But the poem goes on. There is a watchman on the city walls, and far out on the hills we see a messenger. He’s running towards the city. He’s running and he’s shouting, “Good news!” And Isaiah says, “How beautiful are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings [news]” (vs. 7a). The feet are beautiful because they’re carrying a beautiful message. And what’s the message? That despite Jerusalem’s destruction, Israel’s God still reigns as king, and that God's presence is going to one day return with His city, take up His throne, and bring peace. And the watchmen sing for joy because of the good news that their God still reigns (vs. 10).
Jesus saw himself as the messenger bringing the news that God reigns. Jesus also claimed to be the Son of man. This was Jesus' favorite self-designation, being used some 80 times in the Gospels. Notice, not just a son of man, but the Son of Man. Jesus was directing our attention to a vision described by the prophet Daniel:

"I saw in the night visions, and, behold, one like the Son of man came with the clouds of heaven, and came to the Ancient of days, and they brought him near before him. And there was given him dominion, and glory, and a kingdom, that all people, nations, and languages, should serve him:"-Daniel 7:13-14a

At Jesus' trial, the Jewish high priest accused Jesus: "Art thou the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed [God]?" His answer left no room for doubt. "I am: and ye shall see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven." (Mark 14:61-62). Because Jesus' was rejected and killed for threatening the power the religious authorities had over the people, the consummation of God's kingdom with earth had been put on hold until all of Christ's enemies would be put under his feet after his ressurection and ascension.
But again, what is the kingdom of God? What does it look like exactly?
Well, the way that Jesus described God’s reign surprised everybody. I mean, think about it. A powerful, successful kingdom needs to be strong, able to impose its will, and able to defeat its enemies in physical combat. But Jesus said the greatest person in God’s kingdom was the weakest, the one who loves and who serves the poor (Matt. 23:11-12). He said you live under God’s reign when you respond to evil by loving your enemies, and forgiving them, and seeking peace (Matt. 5). To us, this is an upside-down kingdom. But to God, it's right-side up. This was what God had originally planned for us: a kingdom where God reigns in our hearts.

"Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."-John 3:3

Jesus was being quite literal here. You can’t see the kingdom until you’re born again and have the life of that kingdom. When you’re born again, you start 'seeing' differently. You see what others don’t see, you hear what others don’t hear, you know what others don’t know. And yet you may be physically in the same earthly location as they.
The kingdom of God is the totality of God’s influence that covers the world and heaven. It’s everywhere, but its manifestation isn’t everywhere. It manifests on earth wherever there are those who are born again and live as if God reigns in their hearts.
Before Jesus, John the Baptist announced to all people, “The kingdom of heaven is at hand!” (Matt. 3:1-2), as he saw a soon coming kingdom of God that would be ushered in by the Messiah. Notice that John the Baptist didn’t say that something “like” the kingdom would come and he didn’t say that the real kingdom might be thousands of years away. He said over and over that THE kingdom was at hand! Do you believe him? Did God inspire him to give a clear and accurate message or a mistaken one? If we dare to believe him, things might become surprisingly clear, simple and exceedingly optimistic.

"Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven."-Matthew 6:10

Jesus taught his followers of his generation to pray that God's kingdom come and that His will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Why pray for something that will just inevitably come by force, unless it was actually through our willing participation? That is, unless God's will is carried out through us "in earth, as it is in heaven"?

"Now after that John was put in prison, Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God, And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel."-Mark 1:14-15

It's very telling that these are the very first words the Gospel of Mark chooses to record Jesus as saying.
The kingdom is NOT something to wait for. Jesus says the kingdom is NOT something visible, and it is NOT something in the sky. The Kingdom Jesus taught is a spiritual reality that comes into the world through us. Considering that Jesus even said the kingdom was in and among the Pharisees in Luke 17, which seems almost offensive to consider, perhaps it is like a spiritual seed that has been planted inside each of us, and that activating faith in God makes it grow.

"Then said he, Unto what is the kingdom of God like? and whereunto shall I resemble it? It is like a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and cast into his garden; and it grew, and waxed a great tree; and the fowls of the air lodged in the branches of it."-Luke 13:18-19

Jesus talked about the kingdom as if it would be a present reality, yet one that was growing in the world like a seed grows into a tree.

"And again he said, Whereunto shall I liken the kingdom of God? It is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three measures of meal, till the whole was leavened."-Luke 13:20-21

To Jesus, the kingdom was something growing in us like yeast through dough, increasing in effectiveness.

"For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost."-Romans 14:17
"For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power."-1 Corinthians 4:20

Paul says the kingdom isn’t something you taste or touch like physical food. It’s not even saying the right words. But rather the kingdom comes in the realities of righteousness, peace, joy and power that flavor our lives when we live empowered by the Spirit of God and God's Spirit in us.
Since Jesus the Messiah returned only 40 years after his earthly ministry, putting all enemies under his feet, the complete consummation of earth with the kingdom of heaven has finally taken place.
The kingdom of God has come, and it continues to come through us as believers. It makes progress like light shining into the world and dispelling the darkness.

"Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."-Matthew 5:14-16

I'd like to share a lengthy and self-indulgent note about my history with the Baha'i community and the impact it had on my family and me. It's worth noting that I'm sharing this using a throwaway Reddit account that I generally reserve for browsing porn. I find funny to imagine a Baha'i apologist reading this, becoming angry and judgmental, and then, investigating my profile and ending up jerking off. With that said, let's dive into my story.
I want to share my experience in case it resonates with someone else, a lot of the stories on this Reddit helped me, and perhaps my story will give some comfort to someone else. It has taken me a while to write this down, and I'm glad I finally got around to doing it.
My parents emigrated from their homeland for reasons of principle and value. Upon their arrival, they were greeted by Baha'is who met them. And so, lovebombed and lavished with love, praise, and celebration for moving countries due to values that they portrayed as being closely aligned with the Baha'i faith, my parents fell for this validation and worked very hard once they became Baha'is in the mid-1980s.
My dad got rid of all of his whiskies, and swiftly, my parents began hosting potlucks and fireside chats, diligently working to integrate into the Baha'i ecosystem. Back then, the atmosphere was fairly light-hearted, with devotional gatherings, prayers, and a somewhat 1960s-esque hippie vibe. There was live guitar music, and joss sticks.
However, I remember Baha'i classes having an interesting edge. We were taught that Buddhists were not following a religion but merely a way of life, and that Hindus had become pantheistic because they had lost the core of their faith and religion, which had become corrupted over time. Thanks to Google, I can discover that yes indeed, this is from Lights of Guidance.
There was a significant emphasis on the importance of gender equality and the oneness of humanity – because, hey, the eighties. I feel sad there isn't anything anymore about the Virtues project - even if the Virtues project was sort of framed like it was created by Bahais.
Even in the 1980s, there was an overwhelming atmosphere that the key to being a good Baha'i was how you presented yourself rather than your actual behaviour. I recall learning an apocryphal tale of a young Baha'i who, while fasting, participated in an aerobics class and nearly fainted (yeah, aerobics, this is a real 80s fable), but was told by another Baha'i to prioritize representing the faith well over completing the fast because *it looked bad*. From a very early age, I learned the importance of putting the right face forward.
My parents then took their relationship with the Baha'i faith to the next level and volunteered at the World Centre in Haifa. As a child, this was a pretty interesting experience. I was suddenly immersed in the Iranian, or rather, Persian community, with its strong culture of martyrdom. Even as a child, every event seemed to feature graphic videos depicting young kids being taken from their homes. It was quite frightening, and I remember being afraid.
I also recall a strong sense of hierarchy within the community. My family lived in a small apartment with a very old, busted-up car from the 1970s, while others resided in nice homes with pleasant views and drove nice cars. I attended a local Israeli school, which was a cultural experience in itself, while my peers my age went to the much fancier American school. It's important to note that, at this point, the conversation about the "great catastrophe" – two-thirds of the world's population dying, leading to a period of peace and the entry by troops – was a prevalent topic openly discussed at the World Centre.
We completed our stint there, even living through the Gulf War. Upon returning to my birth country, my parents chose to live in places with smaller Baha'i communities, as they wanted to support and help establish Local Spiritual Assemblies. Things had changed by this point, not only because I was a teenager but also because the community itself had transformed. There was a significant Iranian presence everywhere, and the focus had shifted heavily towards rules, especially those related to sex, drinking, and drug use. There was also a huge emphasis on financial contributions to the faith, and it was the first time I began to see a somewhat materialistic outlook within the community.
As a preteen and teenager, I engaged in activities like dropping off flyers in mailboxes and soliciting strangers to talk about this great new religion, all in the name of “teaching”. I joined the local choir and sang, inspired by a crush I had on a girl there. This was probably the golden time of the community, with the choir doing outreach and a balance between Western and Iranian believers.
However, things began to accelerate. The Ruhi Institute and teaching became significant focal points. I was encouraged to bring a good friend of mine to a Baha'i camp, and once there, I was pressured to ask him to convert. It was very uncomfortable.
This Reddit loves cringe stories, so here is a winner: I had a birthday party with my non-Baha'i friends, and two older Baha'i girls attended. One of the girls ended up stalking my friend, showing up at his workplace and calling him at home with sexually suggestive comments. The matter was escalated to the Local Spiritual Assembly, but instead of talking to me about it, they basically ended my friendship with this kid. To me, this somehow captures so much of what it was like to be a Baha'i child and how Baha'i adults treat children to this day.
When I turned 15, I signed up for Baha'i membership because it was the expected thing to do. However, by the time I was in my early 20s and studying at university, I had started to interact more with the local, real-world community. This might seem like a small thing, but it was actually quite significant. You see, my parents had always felt a little bit on the outside compared to the average person on the street around them. This sense of elitism was really exacerbated by being a Baha'i because Baha'is would walk around in a cloud of self-assurance, looking at us and thinking, "We don't do drugs. We've got all the answers and solutions, not like you." That was pretty much the attitude. It felt very socio-economic, with a lot of judgment towards working-class people. When the Iranians arrived, the cultural judgments grew even stronger.
But I was working in restaurants and learning about booze from bartenders. I had gotten to know real people. I had lost my virginity, and all that Bahai jazz seemed so much less relevant. I hardly even noticed when the year 2000 arrived without the predicted apocalypse, entry by troops, or any of the other anticipated events. Life went on. I lived in another country and met a girl, and we lived together.
Here is cringe story #2: my girlfriend /fiancé and I hosted a Bahai couple from my hometown. Despite being in my late 20s and engaged, and even though I hosted this gentleman in my house and helped him with his preparations for his business and presentations in the country where I lived, he reported to the Local Spiritual Assembly that I was living with a woman and we weren't married. It was absolutely amazing. The level of judgment still grosses me out.
I started to reflect on what the religion had meant to me and saw how it had changed. The obsession with fundraising was becoming ever more strident and panicked. The gaps in the actual scriptural logic of the religion were becoming more exacerbated as real-world problems still ran rife, and real-time discussions on social media brought these issues to light. It took me a while to start really digging into it, and it was only much later, when I started therapy, that I realized I needed to formally resign from the religion.
Looking back, it's astonishing how this religion, which professes to have such blind equality between the genders, as if other religions have some kind of hardwired sexism, actually had hardwired sexism in how the Universal House of Justice operates. A religion that taught the oneness of humanity, as if all humanity is equal and other religions don't recruit from anyone they can find, places divisors. Although of course, Bahai’s can’t recruit from Israeli Jews, so much for oneness of humanity. But this religion has taught that all humanity is equal, unless, of course, you're gay. Then you can't get married, let alone have sex.
There are other principles I haven't touched on, such as non-involvement in politics, unless it involves things happening to Baha'is or politics in Iran. The principle of independent investigation of the truth doesn't seem to work if you might investigate something that's not in line with the Baha'i perspective. The idea of a universal language? I don't really see any evidence that they're even really thinking about that one. The unity between science and religion? A religion that only allows men to sit on its senior board of a global theocracy probably isn't going to jive with a contemporary scientific perspective…. I mean, apparently you don't need a penis to be a man anymore, right?
In between these moments are my colorful memories of random things, like endless discussions about the boundaries of physical intimacy, people getting married at the age of 16 because they had exemptions for being Persian, and meeting Ms. Khanoom in Israel, feeling some sadness that the lone woman who at least brought some feminine energy to the World Centre is now gone, replaced by 12 boring men.
I've had conversations with my wife where I tried to explain what Baha'is actually do. She just wonders why they aren't doing stuff like normal religions do, like reading to the elderly or supporting schools for the disabled. I explain that's not the target demographic. I remember a wealthy man brought to firesides who obviously nobody else wanted to listen to, but we all sat around and applauded him like he was a great ukulele player and a clever man. He pointed out a hilariously Iranian man who was an alternative healer, and they got into a debate about modern medicine. The wealthy man said, "Well, you should see my daughter and what she studied. She studies Law." And then quickly changed the subject when asked about her name since I studied at the same Law school. Here's this man who's self-aware enough to join the adoration of his crowd but doesn't want his daughter mixed up in it in any way. Absolutely hilarious. Make that cringe story #3.
This reflection was sort of sparked when my wife and I discovered that the writings attributed to Rumi, which Baha'is often quote, is the same guy who started the Whirling Dervishes. We read about Rumi and I realized just how different he is from Baha'u'llah. Rumi wrote poetry, but he didn't pretend to be a prophet of God. He was just offering a different dynamic for how to interpret spirituality. He didn't say he was part of some sort of cycle. There's something beautiful about that simplicity. And needless to say, Rumi lived long before the Baha'is ever started.
It makes me wonder, will anyone ever watch the equivalent of a whirling dervish dance for the Baha'is?
The obsession with appearances sounds like a joke, but it isn't. It wasn't for me. Some bad stuff happened to me on my trip to Israel. When we got there, my parents didn't understand why I was so upset about everything. It was a culture shock, attending a government school, not speaking Hebrew, and being together with Russian kids who got beaten up in the toilet. It wasn't a very good time for me.
So, I was sent to counsel with a local Israeli counselor. After several sessions, she instructed that I had to sit down with my parents and tell them what I needed to tell them, particularly about the shadow that had come over me since coming to Israel. My parents were enraged when I said, “I wish we never became Bahai”.
And so, we returned from the Holy Land and moved to a tiny community that was struggling to get members. To this day, my parents are still members. I've resigned so I'm never dubbed a "covenant breaker." I'm pretty sure my parents know that I resigned because they literally never raise the topic of the Baha'i faith with me. I wish the religion had some interesting cosmology, something mystical, some interesting new take on the universe, or provided my family with tools to handle being migrants or raising teenagers. At the very least, it could have given us a common language we could have used to bond together. It did none of that.
But to be fair, if it wasn't the Baha'is, some other rinky-dink cult would have love-bombed my parents back in the 1980s. Of course, it would have been so much more fun if it had featured more sex and drugs 😊

Kadillac Kirk had been a good friend of mine for several years. I had met him through friends from The Spring Stage; and he never had anything to do with The Imp, which is why he didn’t appear in the Married Mary saga. Mary would have totally thrown herself at him, and Kirk would have definitely “thrown it in her.” He loved the ladies and often remarked that there was no such thing as an unappealing woman, nor was there anything sweeter than finding the pearl of passion in an outwardly plain dame. Fortunately for Kirk, he never met Mary. This was probably fortunate for Mary as well, seeing as Kirk was a confirmed bachelor and he would have probably broken her fat heart.
Kirk was an older guy. Not MOE old, though. He was in his early forties, but he easily passed for a carefree dude in his 30s... not that he lied about his age. I only mention this trait to juxtapose Kirk’s genuine youthful air with Moe’s unconvincing youthful farce. Kirk dressed normally, avoided stupid jargon, and never busted out gimmicks like tarot cards or spells. He just existed, behaved affably, and people liked him for it.
He drove a classic 1962 Cadillac El Dorado convertible with red leather interior, and he lived in a charmingly quaint (and ridiculously expensive) neighborhood. How he made his fortune remained a mystery, but he never bloviated about his wealth. He just threw spectacular parties and people showed up. And, to my knowledge, he never tried to lure women into bed with his money (although I’m sure he got his fair share of boom-boom thanks to his digs and his wheels, even if the gold-diggers denied their monetary agendas).
Kirk was legitimately handsome. He was a drummer, he had a full head of black hair, he was clean-shaven, he worked out, and he knew all the hidden gems in Wellsprings. So why hadn’t I tried... or even desired to date him? I don’t know. I just didn’t feel drawn to him like that. He felt like a cool uncle and he had, thus far, never done anything to change my perception. Plus, the age difference weirded me out a little. Kirk didn’t look forty; but knowing that he had so much more life experience than I did created a power imbalance that would have creeped me out if we’d been dating. As buddies, I just felt supremely cool riding in his Cadillac, smoking Fantasia cigarettes, and hitting the speakeasies and jazz clubs I would have never known about if it weren’t for Kirk’s connections.
And he had been a good person to talk to about my romantic woes. He never lecherously suggested that I should date him, and he gave the type of tempered advice that only comes with lived experience. But he often lightly mocked me for my crush on Dennis and he did a hilarious impression of Smegal popping too soon over his “precious.” So when Mary “got me back” by doing whatever she did with to Dennis, I called Kadillac Kirk and told him the drinks were on me if he’d be my designated driver for the night.
Why hadn’t I called Whisky??? Well, A) Kirk was way more fun to hang out with, at least from my past experiences up to that point. And B) I needed to bitch about a boy, something I couldn’t do in good conscience in front of a guy I was dating. So I put on the sexiest plunging halter dress I owned, applied heavy eye makeup and spikey accessories, braved a pair of stilettos, and sashayed out to Kirk’s convertible. I felt like a badass rock star. I probably looked like a try-hard hooker.
Kirk: Daaaaay-um! Somebody really did do a number on you, huh? I know you said you were upset, but the gents are gonna be writing thank you notes to that fat girl and that butt-fucking hobbit.
Me: I just need to feel pretty and numb. And I trust you to keep me from making a fool of myself.
Kirk squeezed my shoulder. “I’ve got you. You do whatever you need to do to get rid of these demons.”
He sparked up a J and offered me the first puff. I gladly accepted. He took one puff of his own, but said that the rest was mine since he didn’t want to drive stoned. See? He was responsible! Weed wasn’t legal in California yet, so I got a little bit baked before I stashed the sativa in the glove box and wrapped a scarf around my hair like a starlet from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Kirk sped out of the parking lot and said he was taking me to a downtown hotel that was hosting a party that night in their lush lobby.
Kadillac Kirk pulled up to the main entrance, paid the valet, and then opened my door. I was wobbly from the weed. And I had stupidly decided to wear heels. You can get high or you can wear high (heels). You can’t have both. Not if you’ve repeatedly injured both ankles (as I have). I had to take Kirk’s arm to keep from keeling over. “Can people tell I’m stoned?” I whispered. Kirk replied, “Nobody’s paying any attention to anyone else’s intoxication. I promise you that much.” I nodded, steadied myself, and strutted alongside my very cool friend, feeling a little more confident.
A live jazz orchestra was playing Cole Porter as we entered the lobby. Everything sparkled. The music was even more intoxicating than the spliff had been. “Just One of Those Things” brought tears to my eyes since the lyrics hit every raw nerve regarding the Dennis debacle. But I smiled. It might sound mental, but being distraught over a trash fire of a one-sided romance was exhilarating. Immature, for sure. But also exhilarating. You see, that kind of sadness doesn’t hurt. Not really. It stings. It leaves little bruises, but it’s very safe to wallow in because you haven’t actually lost anything. Melancholia over that which you never had is as sweet as it is bitter; and that type of twisted splendor is rivaled only by Stendhal.
“Here's hoping we meet now and then. It was great fun, but it was just one of those things.” I sang along with the band, and a fat tear rolled down past my melancholic smile and onto my chin. Kirk brushed it aside. “Too close to home?” I wiped away the remnants of the tear’s journey from eye to chin and smiled a more genuine smile. “The perfect distance from home. Shall we get drinks? Remember, I’m buying.”
Kirk: No, no. This is your time to heal. And I’m here as your pal, not your chauffeur. What would the lady like?”
I pretended to barf. Kirk knew I hated it when he got overly formal and overly attentive. So he did it just to mess with me. “Shot of vodka,” I replied.
Kirk: How many?
I thought briefly. “FIVE.”
Kirk: Five to one, baby. One in five...
Me: No one here gets out alive.
Kirk: Are you able to hold yourself upright, or should you come with?
I took a seat on an ornate, damask-upholstered chaise lounge. “I’ll be okay. And I was kidding about the five shots.”
I sat there lost in the music for a while. I thought very little about Dennis. Even less about Mary. And not at all about Whisky (whom I had shagged less than a week ago). My mind danced through the ornate lighting in the hotel lobby, and I suddenly felt the need to join the hoity-toity guests on the dancefloor!
Kirk returned with four shots of vodka. Two for him, two for me. That was quite reasonable of him. He knew damn well that I couldn’t handle five shots, but he also knew that I was in a... state. One that called for more than a single shot. I raised a both miniature glasses to “No more ninnyhammers or hairy-footed lovers.” Kirk did his hilarious Smegal impression, we double-toasted, and downed the shots. The band launched into “Let’s Misbehave,” and I kicked off my stilettos and made a beeline for the dance floor.
“There’s something wild about you child that’s so contagious. Let’s be outrageous! Let’s misbehave.” Kadillac Kirk swept me up, twirled me around, and dipped me as we both sang along with the lyrics. I wasn’t swooning for him, but I was enthralled by the moment. The music, the dancing, the combination of booze and bud... so I kissed him as he pulled me back to my feet. And he kissed back. In a way that Dennis never had. In a way that Whisky’s beard wouldn’t permit. I didn’t feel the visceral sensations that I’d felt when Dennis had kissed me, but it felt nice to feel desired. And then I noticed that other guests were watching us and applauding. Now, that was a dopamine rush if ever there was one!
I gently broke away from the embrace, high-fived Kirk and returned to the chaise lounge to put my stupid shoes back on. He followed me and smashed his face back onto mine. I pulled away and laughed. “It was a moment,” I told him. “I appreciate the dance, and that kiss was the perfect finale. But it’s not happening again.”
Kirk: Not to worry, Valerie. I know you. I knew all along that we were performing, and I was more than happy to be your scene partner.
Me: And dance partner! Those were some excellent moves! I didn’t know you had ballroom training.
Kirk: You name it, I’ve mastered it. Another drink for the lady?
I pretended to barf again. “Not yet. I’m not sad right now. Do you mind if I just sit here and enjoy the music?”
Kirk: Ah. My kisses do have healing properties...
I flipped my hand up at him. “Knock that shit off, bro. I wanted to hang out with you because I trust you not to get weird. Even if I get weird, I know you have the maturity to balance me out.”
Kirk: Are you calling me old???
Me: No. I’m calling you rational, responsible, and respectful.
Kirk: Well, now. If you can articulate an alliterative statement that fluently, then you clearly aren’t drunk enough!
I dismissed this comment as a joke. And he did indeed knock off the flirtation. We had a perfectly pleasant time chatting and dancing (no more kissing, though). And then I noticed a girl I knew from Into the Woods entering the lobby. She’d played Florinda and I’d played Little Red. I called her name and waved enthusiastically. She waved back. And then her date entered. It was D.E.N.N.I.S. I sank into the chaise. Kirk caught on immediately. “The hobbit???” he asked. I nodded silently. “You wanna make out again?” he enthused. I shook my head. I had to go say hello to Flo. And I had an idea...
I crossed the lobby, smiled, squealed, and hugged her.
Florinda: Lil’ Red! It’s been forever! So glad to see you!!! This is my friend, Denny.
Dennis was shifting uncomfortably. I extended my hand. “Nice to meet you. I know your date from Into the Woods. I bet she could tell you some entertaining stories about that show...” Flo laughed out loud, well aware of the many misadventures to which I'd referred. Of course, she might have been laughing because Dennis never, ever listened to anyone else's stories. He was too busy telling, re-telling, slightly altering, and exaggerating his own.
Dennis: C’mon, Val...
Me: Oh, you’ve heard of me? Small world! You guys picked a great night to come here. They’re playing Cole Porter, and the band is delovely!
Florinda (appearing oblivious to the iciness between me and Dennis): Have you seen Prince Big Bad (Scumbanger) lately?
I laughed. “Last time I saw him, he was hitting on some nasty fat chick at The Imp.”
Flo and I both scoffed at the pervy pest. Into the Woods was where I’d initially met Scumbanger. He played The Wolf/Cinderella’s Prince. Again... typecasting. There’s a whole essay in my brain about my first encounter with the pest, during which he quoted the song that he sang to me in the show, “Hello, Little Girl.” But it gets into some pretty uncomfortable territory because he made me feel excited. Well, excited and scared. Nothing of note happened during Into the Woods, but our odd interactions did kind of set the stage for some extremely regrettable events during that Cats cast party.
I excused myself, saying that I needed to get back to my friend. And then I leaned in and said in a hushed voice to Flo, “Watch your ass with that one. If he’s the Denny I’m thinking of...” I gave her a look that only another female would be able to read. Her eyebrows shot up and she nodded. Dennis continued to shift as though he were trying to hold in a massive dump. “BABE! Uh...”
Flo apparently answered to that moniker as well. “What is it, Denny? Don’t worry. That was just telepathic girl talk. You apparently have a reputation...”
Dennis: Different Denny. I assure you I’m a pious gentleman.
Me: Ah. My mistake. Well, then. You guys have a good time! Nice to meet you, Denny. Great to see you, Flo!
I hugged Flo again, gave Dennis a curt nod, ignored the scent of mandarins and mountain air, and returned to Kirk.
I collapsed on the chaise lounge, exhausted from holding back the rage. I had no right to be mad at Florinda. I hadn’t seen her in three years, so how was she supposed to know that I’d had a thing with Dennis? Hell, I couldn’t even be mad at Dennis because the last time he and I had spoken in any meaningful way, I’d told him that I was no longer entertaining my crush on him. So why was I surprised to see him dating??? And why had he never taken ME out on a date like this??? And why wasn’t I smitten with Kadillac Kirk who HAD taken me out on a date like this, was an objectively excellent kisser, and a bona fide BALLER? What was wrong with me???
Kirk suggested going down the street to a quaint little bar and then sobering up at a diner closer to my apartment. I numbly nodded and followed him in silence for a few blocks. He assured me that I had “turned several heads” on the way to the new location, but I neither cared nor believed him. This wasn't the type of numbness I'd been aiming for. Now I needed to get schnockered. “Five shots of vodka, please.” Yes, I was serious.
Kadillac Kirk, my reliable designated driver, ordered only a beer and watched in something across between astonishment, concern, and delight as I slammed all five shots in rapid succession. I half expected to immediately retch all over the bar. But I felt fine. I half expected to immediately lose consciousness and wake up in the hospital. But I remained coherent. How I’d managed to take in that much hard liquor and suffer no direct consequences, I’ll never know.
I think I wanted to suffer. I wanted to either feel nothing at all or to feel a sickness bad enough to distract me from the scorching sting that pulsed through my being when I realized that I had lost the abstract notion I’d been addicted to this entire time. Hope. It wasn’t Dennis himself I couldn’t quit. It was that drug called hope. The hope that maybe, just maybe Dennis would give our romance a fair chance. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would make peace with himself, get his mind out of his crotch, and enjoy some agenda-free togetherness. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would stop bloviating about his admittedly impressive accomplishments for five fucking minutes and ask about my life. I had my own reasonably impressive accomplishments, even if they paled in comparison to his. A proper suitor would have enjoyed hearing about them.
But seeing him out with another woman, a woman who had no reason to parade her Dennis escapades before me as some means of revenge, a woman he was clearly courting of his own volition... My hope had died. It died before I’d had time to wean myself off it. Now I had to mourn the loss of hope, which is a very tricky brand of grief to navigate. Vodka wasn’t the answer, but it was what I had to work with. So it would have to do.
After enough time had passed without vomiting or collapsing, I asked Kirk to bring his car around to the bar so that I didn’t have to walk two and a half blocks drunk and in heels. He nodded and dramatically leaned in for a kiss. I recoiled. “DUDE! I told you. The moment has passed.”
Kirk: I beg your pardon. I misread your eyes. Thought I saw a green light...
Me: It’s fine. I just want to go home while I’m still feeling okay.
Kirk: Of course. Your chariot will be here soon.
He skipped off to fetch his Cadillac and I noticed that the lights in the bar were beginning to dance a bit. This should have been concerning. But then I realized that I was giggling. Wait... What? Oh shit. Sure, I was drunk from those shots. But what I was feeling in that moment wasn’t drunkery. It was stonery. Kirk probably misread my face because my pupils were dilated. Not from desire, but from drug use.
Some of you might be thinking that I was a bad friend for not introducing Lucy, an old dude connoisseur, to Kirk. Well... I did. Several years before the events of this story. He adored her. She, on the other hand, thought he was immature. And she wasn’t wrong. Lucy was astute when it came to sussing out a person’s true nature. Far more astute than I. Her initial assessment that Kirk was immature is about to be vindicated. Stretch those cringe muscles! It’s almost time for pie...
I somehow managed to get to his car. I honestly don’t recall how I got there. Did one of the bartenders carry me? Did some kind patron allow me to lean on him? Had Kadillac Kirk carried me out? I’m not sure. But my memory ceases to be fuzzy about halfway to the 24-hour diner. It might have been the very same 24-hour diner where Mary pulled her... shenanigans. I’ll never know.
Kirk: Would you say that you’re more drunk or more stoned?
Me: STONED. Definitely stoned.
Kirk made some sort of grunty noise and reached for my thigh. I slapped his hand.
Kirk: Stoned but not amorous? That’s rare.
I started laughing rather unkindly. “You’re a fucking horndog! I thought you were my safe straight male friend, dammit.”
Kirk: I solemnly swear that your safety is my primary concern, my stoned beauty.
I pretended to throw up.
Kirk: So... You’re not horny. But are you hungry? The diner I’m heading to makes this Maple Walnut Pie with the most sumptuous... sensual cream and exquisite drizzling of...
Me: Ew! Stop trying to bang the pie. Bro. Are YOU stoned? (Then I remembered the question.) Yes, I’m hungry. But I don’t like nuts. I’ll have banana cream.
Kirk made that repulsive grunty noise again. “Uhhhhh... Mmmmmm. Cream. Yessssss. Yes, we’ll be there in just a minute.” He was squirming in the driver's seat.
Me: GROSS, DUDE! If you’re gonna be like that I’ll just order HASH brows. Get it? Hash??? (I giggled uncontrollably.). You can’t make that sound nasty.
Kirk: Forgive my jokes. I think my blood sugar’s a bit low.
As Kirk parked, I began to wonder how I might get away with walking shoeless into the diner. The stilettos had to get off my feet. At least while I was walking. And Kirk was kind enough to give me his socks and wear his loafers “island style” into the establishment. Okay, that was gallant of him. Maybe he was going to behave himself for the rest of the evening.
I wasn’t terribly talkative as we sat down, and he expressed concern for my emotional well-being. I wasn’t coherent enough to explain what was happening to my emotions and I wasn’t sure I trusted him with my deep, dark secrets at that point. So I shrugged like a sulky teenager, ran my hands over my messy, windblown hair, and mumbled that I was “just hungry.” And right on cue, a very kind, slightly older waitress with a sweet southern accent stopped by to take our order.
Kirk: Ah, yes. We’ll have two cups of black coffee. And we’ll share a slice of that delectable Maple Walnut Pie.
Waitress: Oh, honey. That pie is scrumptious! I take it you’ve been here before?
Kirk: I have. This will be her first time to taste the splendor.
I hated to be a killjoy, but I interrupted and said to the waitress, “Ma’am? I’m sure the Maple Walnut is excellent, but could I please get a slice of Banana Cream? And a big glass of ice water?
Waitress: Sure, hon! Banana Cream’s just as yummy! I’ll be right back with those coffees and that big water.
Kirk was sucking on the tip of his forefinger and shaking his head a bit. “You’re passing up so many sensational... sensual...”
I put my forehead on the table and growled. “You swore you’d stop being nasty!” I held this #headdesk pose for quite some time before I finally lifted my head... only to see that Kirk was still sucking his fingertip and staring at me like a wild animal. “Pleeeeeease be normal,” I whined. “It’s been a really weird night for me.”
Kirk: Indeed. Many surprises. You know... You’re like titanium. Your flame burns so fast and so bright, if a guy doesn’t get in there while the iron is hot, he’ll never get another chance. I was too slow.
What the...? I was pretty sure he was wrong about titanium burning quickly. I’m no chemistry wiz, but my dad and my oldest brother are both big-brains when it comes to physics and chemistry. So I picked up some things just listening to them talk. Accurate or inaccurate, Kirk was being creepy again. He’d never been creepy towards me before, although I’d seen him act like this with other women. Usually with staggering success. Why????? His money. It had to be his money. Kirk was a nice-looking man, but holy shit... No amount of good looks could save this creep show.
And then, our sweet waitress sat down our coffees, my water, and the two slices of pie. After I gulped down a whole bunch of water, I grabbed a fork, prepared to quell my munchies... and then I froze. Kirk was quickly flicking his finger back and forth across the top of his pie. And moaning. He noticed my wide-eyed stare, smirked, sucked the tip of his thumb, picked up the plate with both hands, and began flicking his tongue across the tip of the triangular pie slice. And moaning some more. Well, there went my appetite.
Kirk took his middle finger and jabbed it into the crustless vertex of the pie slice, then he began pumping it in and out like a piston, and flicking his thumb across the increasingly demolished top layer of whipped cream. He gasped this time. People were starting to stare. His pointer finger joined his middle finger in the piston action, and he replaced his thumb with his tongue. Between flicks of the tongue, he groaned, “Oh yeah, baby... Let me taste you,” but it was kind of hard to understand him.
And I was either about to run to the back office, tell them that I was in danger and needed a police escort home... OR I was about to burst out laughing at the spectacle. Kirk continued... He removed his fingers and gregariously licked pie filling off of them. And then he started sucking his fingertips again, switching from middle to pointer, middle to pointer and emitting a delighted little, “Mmmmmm” with every suck.
Finally, he jabbed his fingers back into the utterly destroyed pie, lowered his face into the mess and lapped loudly and passionately, moaning, grunting, and mumbling “Come on, baby. Come on. Mmmmmm. Come on.” I could see the waitress and some dude in a suit heading over to the table, so I sank down in my seat, partially covered my face, but continued to watch the train wreck. At last, Kirk shuddered violently, he splatted his entire hand onto the plate and rubbed furiously. And then he locked eyes with me. He sucked the tip of his thumb one final time and said, “You...” There was a long pause during which Kirk lovingly stroked the mess he’d made. “You... are the pie.”
I don’t hang out with Kadillac Kirk anymore. But he’s still a bachelor, ladies!

Welcome to the book club New Voices! In this book club we want to highlight books by debut authors and open the stage for under-represented and under-appreciated writers from all walks of life. New voices refers to the authors as well as the protagonists, and the goal is to include viewpoints away from the standard and most common. For more information and a short description of how we plan to run this club and how you can participate, please have a look at the announcement post.
It's time for second chances! I've selected a few books from previous polls, that didn't quite make it and deserve a second chance:

Under Fortunate Stars by Ren Hutchings

Fleeing the final days of the generations-long war with the alien Felen, smuggler Jereth Keeven's freighter the Jonah breaks down in a strange rift in deep space, with little chance of rescue—until they encounter the research vessel Gallion, which claims to be from 152 years in the future. The Gallion's chief engineer Uma Ozakka has always been fascinated with the past, especially the tale of the Fortunate Five, who ended the war with the Felen. When the Gallion rescues a run-down junk freighter, Ozakka is shocked to recognize the Five's legendary ship—and the Five's famed leader, Eldric Leesongronski, among the crew. But nothing else about Leesongronski and his crewmates seems to match up with the historical record. With their ships running out of power in the rift, more than the lives of both crews may be at stake.

Bingo squares: book club

The Magic Fish by Trung Le Nguyen

The book tells an intergenerational story of a mother and son struggling to relate to each other—the mother an immigrant to the United States who wants to make a home for her family in an unfamiliar country; the son trying to figure out the best way to come out to his parents. Through telling each other fairy tales, they're able to find common ground.

Bingo squares: bookclub

Bacchanal by Veronica Henry

Evil lives in a traveling carnival roaming the Depression-era South. But the carnival’s newest act, a peculiar young woman with latent magical powers, may hold the key to defeating it. Her time has come. Abandoned by her family, alone on the wrong side of the color line with little to call her own, Eliza Meeks is coming to terms with what she does have. It’s a gift for communicating with animals. To some, she’s a magical tender. To others, a she-devil. To a talent prospector, she’s a crowd-drawing oddity. And the Bacchanal Carnival is Eliza’s ticket out of the swamp trap of Baton Rouge. Among fortune-tellers, carnies, barkers, and folks even stranger than herself, Eliza finds a new home. But the Bacchanal is no ordinary carnival. An ancient demon has a home there too. She hides behind an iridescent disguise. She feeds on innocent souls. And she’s met her match in Eliza, who’s only beginning to understand the purpose of her own burgeoning powers. Only then can Eliza save her friends, find her family, and fight the sway of a primordial demon preying upon the human world. Rolling across a consuming dust bowl landscape, Eliza may have found her destiny.

Bingo squares: bookclub

The Hacienda by Isabel Cañas

Mexican Gothic meets Rebecca in this debut supernatural suspense novel, set in the aftermath of the Mexican War of Independence, about a remote house, a sinister haunting, and the woman pulled into their clutches...
In the overthrow of the Mexican government, Beatriz’s father is executed and her home destroyed. When handsome Don Rodolfo Solórzano proposes, Beatriz ignores the rumors surrounding his first wife’s sudden demise, choosing instead to seize the security his estate in the countryside provides. She will have her own home again, no matter the cost.
But Hacienda San Isidro is not the sanctuary she imagined.
When Rodolfo returns to work in the capital, visions and voices invade Beatriz’s sleep. The weight of invisible eyes follows her every move. Rodolfo’s sister, Juana, scoffs at Beatriz’s fears—but why does she refuse to enter the house at night? Why does the cook burn copal incense at the edge of the kitchen and mark its doorway with strange symbols? What really happened to the first Doña Solórzano?
Beatriz only knows two things for certain: Something is wrong with the hacienda. And no one there will help her.
Desperate for help, she clings to the young priest, Padre Andrés, as an ally. No ordinary priest, Andrés will have to rely on his skills as a witch to fight off the malevolent presence haunting the hacienda and protect the woman for whom he feels a powerful, forbidden attraction. But even he might not be enough to battle the darkness.
Far from a refuge, San Isidro may be Beatriz’s doom.

Bingo squares: bookclub

The Heretic‘s Guide to Homecoming by Sienna Tristen

WINNER OF THE 2019 READERVIEWS AWARD FOR FANTASY! WINNER OF THE 2019 IPPY AWARD FOR FANTASY!
“Life is transformation. You change or you die.”
Ashamed of his past and overwhelmed by his future, Ronoah Genoveffa Elizzi-denna Pilanovani feels too small for his own name. After a graceless exit from his homeland in the Acharrioni desert, his anxiety has sabotaged every attempt at redemption. Asides from a fiery devotion to his godling, the one piece of home he brought with him, he has nothing.
That is, until he meets Reilin. Beguiling, bewildering Reilin, who whisks Ronoah up into a cross-continental pilgrimage to the most sacred place on the planet. The people they encounter on the way—children of the sea, a priestess and her band of storytellers, the lonely ghosts of monsters—are grim and whimsical in equal measure. Each has their part to play in rewriting Ronoah’s personal narrative.
One part fantasy travelogue, one part emotional underworld journey, The Heretic’s Guide to Homecoming is a sumptuous, slow-burning story about stories and the way they shape our lives.

Bingo squares: bookclub
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Hello everyone, thanks for reading
For context, I’ve known him for almost 2 years now due to us living together. (I live in my mums house and he rents out the spare room) my mum only comes back twice a month to visit.
At first I thought it was too good to be true, the way he was treating me was amazing. So slow and respectful with things, paying for dates, bringing me gifts, telling me he loves me, and booking a holiday for my birthday.
I had a really bad gut feeling though that he wasn’t over his ex/ it was all too good to be true maybe he was cheating on for me for e.g (not sure why, maybe because he was still following his ex and her mum on Instagram).
Since then my mum says she has noticed a change in his behaviour, that he is not as considerate as he was e.g leaving bits like a ladder and mattress in the hallway and not opening windows and wiping surfaces dry like she asks. She also said that she doesn’t like the way he talks to me.
He makes jokes about my fake hair, about me not working hard in the day and makes jokes about what I do in the day. Also that I wouldn’t understand how expensive things are - like an MOT since I don’t have a car. He says his brother thinks he shouldn’t have to pay rent here anymore and then shortly after kept on saying how he needed help financially. He also makes mean comments about my dog saying his tail is stupid etc. He doesn’t like it when I go to resturants or places with my dad that we were meant to go to together either and makes me feel guilty for it. He says he loves me constantly and I am forced to say it back all the time otherwise he gets upset. He was jealous about my co worker, and doesn’t seem happy for me if I am going to a nice spa day with my mum or have treated myself to a new pair of sunglasses. “And you need another pair of sunglasses?”. He also told me he wouldn’t like it if I made more money than him and that he doesn’t like that I have gifts from my ex
The things that bug me the most at the minute is when he tells me to smile and constantly makes comments on my mood “you seem sad/grumpy.” “Can I see some happiness.” It makes me question if I am sad and grumpy, even when I didn’t think I was. He also doesn’t want s** as much as I do and makes me wait for it which is fine but it makes me feel unattractive to him. When he gets back from work now it also seems like he just wants to spend some time alone laying in bed.
I also worry if he just wants to use me to get on the property ladder since he makes comments about how my mum and dad will definitely help me out with a deposit and that he wants to beat his brother. Yet his parents cannot.
But besides all of this, he is a loving boyfriend I do believe, he texts me all day whilst at work, does compliment me, takes me on dates and trips and I still get the occasional gift, we laugh and he mainly cooks. He is also still paying the rent, drives us, pays for our groceries and dates. He says we need to save next year though for a house meaning less holidays and dinners next year
I have told him I am unable to help as much as I’d like due to currently going through redundancy. I do pay for some of the trips we have planned, do all the house work, gift him and sometimes pay for cafe dates.
Please tell me if I am overreacting? Your thoughts? Maybe it’s all a little intense right now due to us immediately living together and myself being made redundant, my grandad passing and having glandular fever. But this is my first proper relationship and I’m unsure if it’s right.

So guys finnaly convinced my parents for a new phone ....have a budget of 25k-30k could increase to 35k with a lot of begging and pleading ....need a phone with good camera not a big phone gamer ...pls suggest some phone that i can buy ....your help will be appreciated 🙏

(TL;DR: My brother is a freeloading hog that doesn’t touch grass or communicate with ppl and just stays in his mom’s basement playing video games and I’m not sure I’m worried or envy him)
I (18->19) and my brother (22->23) both live at our parent’s house. For many years I’ve been planning to move out due to mental and personal reasons. Found an apartment that’s not too big nor small for a good price and it’s about 2hrs from where I would originally stayed. There’s a college nearby and plenty of places looking for new hires so I’m not worried about rent. I’m making friends in the area (others go to school there) so i wouldn’t be alone and confused when I move.
I’ve learned the basic stuff an individual needs to know to live on their own (cook, clean, etc.) My brother on the other hand barely does.
Made multiple friends, went on a couple dates, and started working at 15 but my brother has been in 1 relationship that only lasted a day and it was with a girl over the internet. He doesn’t go out at all…unless he has work, wants junk food or wants a better gaming system/pc.
He finally got his first job at 20 or 21yrs (idr) and it pays very well. He gets paid $300-$400 every week and I make $10hr + tips at get paid every 2 weeks.
Groceries or cook meals never last. My brother well take VERY BIG portions and not think about others, he would also eat our snacks (me and our father mainly) without asking and we would find empty containers and bags. (We both had to start hiding our stuff)
I help our family financially sometimes (food bills etc.) while my brother is the cause of some bills, he would tell our mother, “ask younger sibling for it”. He’ll ask us for money and get mad when we ask him. (he makes more$$$) when asked to do ANYTHING he gets made, when we give ADVICE he gets mad!!!
At this point I’m not sure if im mad or worried about him. We’re both raised very differently and kinda envy him, but at the same time I’m worried about his future…

So let me go on a story.
I'm a gay 29M.
I lost my parents, and received inheritance around two months before my birthday last year. It was put toward purchasing a lovely home with several rooms and accommodations. It's very lovely.
However; when this happened, I lost my job which would've provided a far better income, benefits, and far easier work due to circumstances that transpired. I was set back for a while, and ultimately became financially unstable. I always make it work out ultimately now, re-employed and taking odd jobs, so I've become reliable on that front.
I invited a coworker of mine who wanted to avoid her abusive living situation with her mother, who threatened to kick her out. This coworker friend (20F) [Let's call her J] tends to have anger-issues that elicit her to lash out at people rather immensely. She has made tremendous progress in this respect I feel in some of the time I know her, but habits continue. It's not physical or anything, it's just emotional/anxiety riddled stuff, and so forth. For the most part, having lost the job, the majority of the duress between us arrives from housing situations and ultimately the issues aren't massive. Either out of respect, out of understanding, or out of better compatibility, things improved. Likewise she has a cat, and while it can be a little annoying, it's adorable so I forgive it. Likewise she's a big animal lover.
Near Christmas, another former Coworker of mine (24F) [She can be H.]had a falling out with her boyfriend. So at the behest of my new roommate's request, she was given a room. It was a trial to sort of get her back on her feet. I offered a month without rent to allow her to save money. Then a 3-month period discounted Rent, to help her furnish herself. Likewise due to a smaller room; she had less money owed. This has continued for five or so months in totality. This Coworker I don't have much synergy with, and she seems primarily self-contained. I don't opt to interact with her, and she doesn't with me. Likewise; she's far more extroverted than I or my roommate, so often goes out drinking, hanging out with boys, etc.
Recap.
J is 20. H is 24.
And for the majority of the time together; the two have been fast friends and likewise seemed to improve more as they've hung out here. Until the second roommate wanted a cat, which initially both were overjoyed by. She got a kitten, pretty spontaneously. And ignoring advice, she let it interact with my roommate's cat. We were initially planning on keeping them apart for both their safety, especially because the kitten hadn't been vet-processed and J's cat has a slightly weak immune system. This was in breach of trust given, and upset J quite a bit.
H had made plans to hangout with a friend that night, and essentially left the cat in a carrier in her room, and told J she'd likely be back by 1 AM that night, and if she could watch the cat. J had work at 7 AM, but agreed.
H got drunk and never came home that night. Meanwhile, the kitten she adopted was mewling all night across J's room and upsetting her essentially. The 4-week old kitten was comforted and likewise, and could fit into your cupped hands. It got stuck under a door once even, escaping it's carrier. It could've been bad or worse. I'm mildly upset at it.
But likewise; I own a pet I keep in my room too, who rarely scratches at the door sometimes. I can understand a cat left to their own devices can be fine, they can be solitary creatures seemingly. But given how young the kitten was and how it needed constant attention, it felt very rough for J to both look after H's kitten after everything, and for H to disappear after saying she'd return. Likewise J didn't want the cat to be harmed. She'd leave it be for intermittent periods but would check in on it every half-hour to hour.
So on this side of the topic; I feel J is beyond validated.
But it evolved.
J elected to lash out at H over this. Sending 20+ text messages in the same day; threatening to get the cat into a Vet, or Humane Shelter due to what had happened and the seeming neglect, so on and forth. Hollow threats she claims to provoke H into caring more, but ultimately still made and essentially this was on the first day of owning the kitten. I don't feel H was given an opportunity or time to process or adjust from her day's decision, and was bombarded immensely with hateful messages that tore her down.
Ultimately, this led to H giving her cat away, but she refuses to apologize, and their friendship essentially broke. H's ability to take accountability is tremendously limited and often leans toward victimization at times, but I empathized with her because J can be absolutely vitriolic, toxic, and poisonous when her anger oversteps her rationality.
Ultimately H feels like moving out in some regards due to it. But the talk about J's feelings toward H; the disdain, annoyance, and likewise low-opinion J holds due to this, has caused H to recluse some toward J further. And ultimately time has passed, between shouting at one another, to text messages, to H seeking refuge in friends and drink, to J having a operation around this time and spending time recuperating from it. Which opened a bridge of concern from H, that I hoped would maybe lead them to talking it out. Because the two can be good at it.
But ultimately when J relented enough to offer the Olive Branch, H rejected it. Which is her right. Civility after the initial moments had been somewhat restored, life moved on, they weren't friends but they could mostly live with one another.
Which led J spiraling into an angry tirade that was primarily meant to tear down H again, and did so by praying on trauma H had. Because J wanted to ensure all bridges were burnt down.
I'm stuck in the middle on this and it's aggravating me.
H refuses to even so much as budge in admitting fault, but I honestly don't think leaving your kitten alone at home is necessarily a bad idea on paper; since many animals are often left alone and while not the greatest situation can still be fine. She already has to work an 8-hour+ job some days, and would be relying on us in the interim for feline-care, until the cat was grown, had her shots, and was allowed to roam the house and have some more freedom. And likewise she had made plans, and got carried away. I can honestly chalk up her decisions to inexperience and bad decision-making and feel in some respects she deserves some grace. Likewise J's treatment of her, personal attacks, threats to get the Cat put into a Vet after one day, and likewise were it me in her shoes it would make me reconsider ownership of the cat as well, and likewise would make me very unreceptive toward any sort of relationship with J.
But as I said; H throughout all of this didn't apologize, and took solely to defending her decisions, justifying her rationale in them, and ultimately even on the things she did wrong that led to the situation developing, doesn't relent.
J meanwhile, I can see the frustration on. She is earnestly trying to get H to be accountable. She helped tremendously toward even getting the cat, and offered a lot of help throughout the process. She had her own cat endangered recklessly despite several warnings (in a very avoidable way that you'd deliberately have to do otherwise), and likewise was sent to work without sleep caretaking for a kitten that she had only volunteered for a few hours for. Much the same, the kitten was essentially in distress and abandoned in the first day, which raised a few questions about the responsibility and future events arising alike to that.
But; I feel that while J deserves to be told that in several respects she was right, that her grievances toward H erupted in such a manner that it was absolutely disrespectful, and painful, and likewise manipulative in the worst of ways.
I've no idea what to do in this case, because I'd like both Renters to sort of hash it out, and be done with it, but obviously not happening per se. But I'm also conflicted on the topic. I don't know if the kitten left alone is a massive deal and red flag for future neglect on the first day, or if it was acceptable to take time away from the kitten given how it would be left alone anyway when she worked. Likewise; I'm not sure if J's justified in respects for how used it made her feel and not receiving a single apology, or if H at this point is suffering more than enough from how J's reacting.
I'm very stuck in the middle here, and I'm worried about losing one. Should I accept the potential loss?
TL;DR: 20F lashes out toxically at 24F for abandoning kitten she had just adopted for twelve+ hours and making her babysit on a work-night beyond agreed upon times and also endangering her own cat in the same day. 24F refuses to apologize, but 20F's negative response has been borderline overwhelming and personal.
29M landlord is unsure what to do, feel, think, or prepare for.

The book is James Hinton’s Selections from Manuscripts. There are four of them in total, with each being 600-800 pages.
Here is the download link from Internet Archive: https://archive.org/search?query=%22selections+from+manuscripts%22
I have been reading this series of four books for three months now. I feel the title I give is not exaggerating at all and a necessary means to grab the attention of indifferent people who may be overwhlemed by the quantity of information on the Internet.
And one of the reasons that such a phenomenal work is obscure to the public eyes is that James Hinton chose to publish them for private circulation only.
And for those who are sensitive to this kind of works containing a substantial amount of Light, it will only take a few minutes for you to recognize the value of them. Because THROUGHOUT these books are profound claims and you could just pick a random page to see if what I say is true.
Regarding questions such as why do we have suffering, the nature of pleasure, the nature of this world as we now perceive it, consciousness, Love, creature/creation, Being/non-Being, this book gives answers to them under the framework of Christian mysticism. Though this book has not penetrated to the ultimate layer of whyness of everything, it did to a significant degree.
Here are some quotes:

1. There can be no 'not' without where there is no 'not' within ; the only way of perceiving or being affected by 'not' is having it within. In fact it comes to this : all evil is merely formal, and touches not the fact; and this formal evil is the means of Being, is part of the progress of creation. All the evil is worth while, for it only means that there is a 'not' in the Being who perceives it. The 'not' is its own punishment ; it makes evil all around it, puts a man in hell. This is heaven ; but we do not see it. It is darkness to us. If a man is not to see the light, make him blind. This is casting us into outer darkness —the sinner casts himself there. There can be no evil to love. The 'not' is not evil to love ; it is only the scope and sphere of its self-sacrifice. Is it not essential to the very Being of love, which exists in giving. So the 'not' of the creature is the very Being of God, is His self-sacrifice for them. Love turns all into the opposite, redeems all not in time only, but eternally. Where love is there no evil comes ; ' He that loveth is in God.'
2. Talent is doing, genius is suffering. This puts suffering in its right light. For see : it is genius does the work of the world ; talent exists only for it, is of no use save as laying a basis for the work of genius. So man's work is done, not by doing but by suffering. It is by what we bear the world is redeemed ; our doing is very unimportant, in itself of no value ; but it is in our suffering God's work is fulfilled ; for suffering the world exists ; then we are used; God's work is done in us; in our suffering is the Being of the universe. Christ was a sufferer, not a doer. What He did was of little moment comparatively, and of little efficacy ; its use was not for itself but to reveal the true meaning and value of His suffering. In delirium tremens, both sight and touch may be under illusion. Is it not disease that makes us perceive that which is not ? so we, perceiving matter, are diseased. And Christ, in saving us, raises us to a new state, gives us a life not physical, and giving us new Being, necessarily gives us new perception.
3. Is not this beautiful: to think that we are to have an altruistic Being, a true personal own feeling of 'man'—feeling as good to me, as my own actual happiness, that which is good to 'man'; no more as now feeling it opposed to my good. Then I have a direct and personal interest and concern in more than that which concerns 'me,' in that which concerns 'man.' All that concerns him is my good, in a literal sense. I am not bound as I seem to be ; that is error and illusion and false feeling.—Then in suffering for the good of man (and all suffering is such), I am suffering strictly for my own good, for a good that will be my own. Even selfishness thus is turned round, and made servant to her conqueror, Love. In suffering I do not lose ; it will be my own joy.—Surely thus one embraces that reward—the future happiness to recompense suffering—which is in the ordinary faith. It will be altruistic happiness : in being made thus 'conscious' the happiness will be given. Yet observe: that is, and must be, a spiritual change: radically moral, not physical: it will be a consciousness according to truth, actual, not phenomenal.

I feel it urgent to widely disseminate these four books before negative people notice this and maybe secretly tamper with the scanned files.

I believe that I was raised in a very negative atmosphere / toxic parents (anger issues)
The topic of ridiculing the shortcomings and ignorance of others would always come up. My father would always be critical of others who achieve success, naming their success to deal with "dirty money" / " parent's connections" are what allowed them to get where they are. Bought a new car = confirm buy 2nd handcar. Never a situation where someone's hard work led to them becoming "successful" / can be happy for someone's success.
He is very stubborn and doesn't understand how the world works now. If you disagree with him, he will lash his emotions- shout, slam things etc.
He will always be the topic of conversation, with remarks about his abilities, etc.
It always comes down to being conceited and negative, or shit-talking behind someone and has gotten to the point where I feel like I don't want to talk to my own father? Because the conversation is quite shallow, tiresome, and adds little value. However, I do feel bad that this should never be the case for a father and son situation. But i do feel that i was being brought up here and i do see how this traits are embedded in me and would love to make a change. I do feel like a narcissistic/someone whose very negative, always seeing the worst in people & making my own assumptions on them.
Anyone else in a similar circumstance? If so, what are you doing?

Discover the numerous advantages of teaching your child multiple languages. Explore how multilingualism enhances cognitive abilities, cultural understanding, and future opportunities for your child.

Introduction

In today's globalized world, the benefits of teaching your child multiple languages extend far beyond just linguistic proficiency. Multilingualism offers a myriad of cognitive, social, and cultural advantages that shape a child's development positively. This comprehensive guide delves into the compelling reasons why parents should embrace multilingual education for their children.

The Cognitive Advantages of Multilingualism

Enhanced Cognitive Flexibility

Multilingual children exhibit remarkable cognitive flexibility, allowing them to adapt quickly to new situations and think creatively across different contexts.

Improved Problem-Solving Skills

Research indicates that bilingual or multilingual individuals often showcase superior problem-solving abilities, attributed to their enhanced cognitive processing and linguistic awareness.

Heightened Executive Functioning

Multilingualism is associated with improved executive functioning skills, such as attention control, task switching, and working memory capacity, leading to enhanced academic performance.

The Social and Cultural Benefits

Increased Cultural Sensitivity

Learning multiple languages fosters cultural sensitivity and empathy, as children gain exposure to diverse perspectives, traditions, and values from a young age.

Facilitated Communication

Multilingual children can effortlessly communicate with a broader range of people, breaking down language barriers and promoting meaningful connections across cultures.

Global Citizenship

By embracing multilingualism, parents nurture global citizens who are equipped to navigate an interconnected world with respect, understanding, and open-mindedness.

Academic and Career Opportunities

Academic Excellence

Studies indicate that multilingual students often outperform their monolingual peers academically, showcasing advanced cognitive abilities and linguistic proficiency.

Expanded Career Prospects

Proficiency in multiple languages opens doors to a wide array of career opportunities, particularly in international business, diplomacy, translation, and global industries.

Competitive Advantage

In a competitive job market, multilingualism provides a significant competitive advantage, demonstrating adaptability, cultural competence, and valuable communication skills.

FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)

What age is ideal to start teaching multiple languages to children? Starting early, ideally before the age of six, maximizes language acquisition and fluency.
Will learning multiple languages confuse my child? No, research suggests that multilingualism enhances cognitive abilities and does not cause confusion when introduced gradually.
Can children learn multiple languages simultaneously? Yes, children have a remarkable capacity to learn multiple languages simultaneously, especially when exposed consistently.
How can I support my child's language learning journey at home? Encourage regular practice, provide exposure to diverse language resources like books and media, and celebrate linguistic achievements.
Will multilingualism delay my child's language development? No, multilingual children typically reach language milestones within the expected timeframe and may even demonstrate advanced language skills.
What are the long-term benefits of multilingualism for children? Besides cognitive advantages, multilingualism enhances cultural awareness, boosts career opportunities, and promotes lifelong learning.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the benefits of teaching your child multiple languages are vast and impactful, spanning cognitive, social, academic, and career domains. Embracing multilingualism not only enriches your child's linguistic abilities but also nurtures a globally-minded individual poised for success in an interconnected world.

Hey...so I just wanted to vent and maybe get other views on this. I am required to do an internship by my university and I feel anxious and lazy to start at one. I have already decided and spoken to the place I need to start at. I just have to start that's all. I have been postponing starting it for 2 weeks. Everyday I say that I will go but I don't go. The place takes pretty long to travel to and forth as well and I dislike the idea of having other peers...new people. I need to start tomorrow for sure since I have a deadline. My home atmosphere is also not fine since my parents are always asking me what is wrong and why I can't go to my internship and I don't know how to answer them.

I don't know how else to describe it anymore, I could use words like dejected, melancholic, depressed, gloomy, desolated etc etc but I'm tired of all this. I've realized this plain and simple word is now sufficient to describe pathetic misery. I have been sad for a very long time now, a few years I think. It's not like I haven't had any happy moments in these sad years. But after that momentary happiness It's back to just me and my pathetic depressed ass again and it's always like this.
Whenever I used to find myself being happy and enjoying myself my brain used to tell me it's going to be over soon and you'll be the same looser crying under your blanket in a few minutes/hours. Believe me when I say I've tried to separate myself from my sadness i've tried to tell myself that my sadness is not me and it cannot control me, i've had 'recovery' periods but they all end on their own and i end up feeling more pathetic than ever. Now I don't feel happy when I'm supposed to anymore, I think this is defence mechanism my brain has created to protect me. I've always been sad, but this is a new sad/numb.I don't feel like doing anything because I know I'll never be enough no matter how hard i try so why even bother, I don't enjoy doing things i once loved because at the end what's the use? All I think about is sucide these days, and it's not in a depressed anxious way, it's in a numb and hopeless way, my only relief will be sucide and noting else.
I'm still in school, living with my parents but for some reason I feel like I am a burden for them and they are forced to take care of me. They're working so hard to earn money and I'm just a useless looser who is wasting it. And they are very good people, then love me and and don't make me feel like I am a burden to them. And this exact thing makes me extra guilty about being a useless looser. They are working hard to take care of my but I'm a depressed looser who wastes their money. For some reason I feel like a high school dropout living in my parents house for free. And I fucking hate myself for that. I should be studying/working to build my future but here I am sulking and wasting my time. My parents already have a perfect first born who is doing great in her career. They don't need me, they never needed me, I'm just a burden and they would be so much better off without me. I don't even care if noone reads my long ass rant I was in dire need to vent. If someone actually took the pains to read it all and reached here, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart dear stranger, even though this rant wasn't worth your time at all. Thank you

You should kill Paarthurnax, but not because the Blades told you to do it. He is not innocent, obviously, but the only reason he assists with you killing Alduin, is to gain control over Alduin's ressurected dragon army for himself.
I too am sentimental for the cool leader of the Greybeards, but after killing Alduin, I never stayed long enough to hear what Parthuunax has to say.
He is a very prideful dragon and maybe rightfully so, but he is saddened by the death of his brother and claims, I quote: "
Goraan! I feel younger than I have in many an age. Many of the dovahhe are now scattered across Keizaal. Without Alduin's lordship, they may yet bow to the vahzen... rightness of my Thu'um. But willing or no, they will hear it! Fare thee well, Dovahkiin!"
Sounds like the new dictator got elected to power? Dragons don't stop attacking Skyrim. Nothing changes. They aren't any friendlier.
Is it better to have a world-destroying demi-god or his liuetenant in charge? Dragons should be slain, no matter if they assisted you in killing their superiors. Try to debate me in the comments. Why should Partysnax live?
Tl;dr Partysnax evil and still wants to control the dragons, therefore you must kill him

Hello All,
they say play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I won mine last weekend when I was coming from Rotterdam in a Flix Bus. I have never done any such thing like this before. my stupid mind thought its not a problem since now its legal in Germany as well and my mistake is first I did not care to confirm, second why the fuck I was bringing the cake. I was travelling with my wife and thought it would be fun to try this cake at home, the bus was stopped at the custom check point, they lined up everyone with the luggage and brought a dog to smell everyone's luggage and of course the dog did what he is trained to do. they took the cake, my information, told me that they are now starting a criminal proceeding against me and asked me if I had to say anything about it, I said sorry so they wrote no comments I think. I asked if I am in trouble, they said you will receive a letter in couple of months with a warning but if I am caught again, I am surely in trouble (never going to happen). I embarrassed my wife in front of the whole bus, this is certainly one of the worst decision of my life which unfortunately can never be undone. We are Asian people, I was hoping to apply for a PR soon and recently cleared my theory exam for driving, additionally, I have invited my parents to visit me on visit visa, literally the worst time to commit this crime. Not sure how this will have an effect on these things. Is it going to be in my Criminal Record which is usually asked by a new employer? How will it effect my PR application or my driving license application or my parents visa? Will I have problem at the custom check in the airport when I am trying to enter Germany? The deed is done now, all I am left with is the regret. I am a big overthinker which is killing me since it happened. anyone who has experienced this before?

Hello Everyone! Guy who hasn't been in a relationship so far here! ( tough to belive, but true). I'm a guy who grew up with more books than people and never had the time to socialize or do things. Fast forward to 27 years, and i'm living my best life, doing my dream job, taking care of myself and keeping my parents proud. I've heard from my fellow colleagues that this sub really works wonders, and i'm trying to give it a one in a million shot at finding my soulmate here. ( if this works, i'd definitely let ya guys know!😄)
About me, I'm 6'2, quite broad shoulders and people say i carry my personality well. I'm big on family and values and if we get along well, you'd definitely find me trying to introduce you to my parents as a new member of my family.I'm into good books,movies and tv shows. Though i don't mostly get time to play video games, i still have a fun life, getting to travel places and eat amazing food. I'm into swimming, hiking and i go bowling and golfing every weekend with my colleagues. I try my best in keeping myself fit, yet pizza always distracts me. I travel,hike,backpack to places which my heart wants to explore (currently thinking about visiting Tibet this year). I work full time at a job which involves Taxes and Audits, and i'm a student pursuing my masters too. (My professor calls me the "Most Brilliant Idiot you can ever find in this world" lol)So you'd find me literally busy all day, but never busy when a text from my special person pops up😄 Oh, and i'm never doing personality tests. I believe that we should go with the flow of life and everything changes on it's own for the greater good.
What i'm looking for in a person:
Someone who's ready to bridge the gap,even if we are from different/Same places, and someone who recognises my efforts in learning to be a hopeless romantic ( up for LDR's as well)
Who's Monogamous,honest and literally knows how trust really works.
Someone who's stable mentally and financially, or en route to stability in terms of studies and work ( trust me, i'd be cheering for you throughout life!)
Who knows That Love is not just about being there for each other, but also giving the time and space necessary for personal improvement
Someone who's literally doing their utmost efforts in knowing me, and is kind enough to let me put in my best efforts to know them better as each day passes.
Someone who is ready to work togeather as a couple and improve ourselves every single moment of our life, from the moment we love each other till the end.
Oh,and btw Age and Appearance are never a matter of concern regarding a relationship,(it's fine even if you're older than me) but please be atleast 18+. And i read in a book that "every distance is meant to be bridged by two hearts", so wherever you are in this entire world, always remember that you're a flight's distance away. And i would definitely love to visit if we get along. And i guess, that's bout it.
If you're interested, HMU in my chats and let's get to know each other better. Hoping to hear from you all😇.

Game Information

Game Title: Senua's Saga: Hellblade II
Platforms:

• Xbox Series X/S (May 21, 2024)
• PC (May 21, 2024)

Trailers:

• Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II – Official Trailer The Game Awards 2023
• Senua's Saga: Hellblade II - The Senua Trailer Xbox Games Showcase 2023

Developer: Ninja Theory
Publisher: Xbox Game Studios
Review Aggregator:
OpenCritic - 84 average - 86% recommended - 55 reviews
MetaCritic - 81 average - 34 reviews

Critic Reviews

AltChar - Asmir Kovacevic - 95 / 100

Few games in recent times have been able to do what Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2 has done: make me feel so engaged and immersed that I wish the feeling would never stop. It is a game that will keep you in constant awe throughout the playtime with its fantastic and mysterious story, incredible graphic and sound presentation and realistic and brutal combat that will keep you on the edge of your seat the entire time.

But Why Tho? - Mick Abrahamson - 7.5 / 10

Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II won’t be for everyone. But if you are looking for a brutal continuation of a fantastic story that feels like you’re actually playing a movie, you’ll have a great time here.

CGMagazine - Justin Wood - 7 / 10

Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2 starts incredibly strong in the first half, but after certain revelations, the story speeds up to a point where the conclusion feels rushed and half-baked.

COGconnected - Mark Steighner - 95 / 100

It has been a very long time since I played a game as assured, polished, and emotionally affecting as Senua’s Saga: Hellblade 2.

Cerealkillerz - Steve Brieller - German - 7.9 / 10

If you expect an immersive but not so interactive “game”, Senua’s Saga Hellblade II delivers a short yet intense experience. Ninja Theory has once again skillfully created an impressive atmosphere, as they did in Senua’s Sacrifice. Unfortunately, the issues remain as well: Puzzles and combat are too easy and there is no variety in either. So please keep in mind, that this is more a Hellblade 1.5 than a true sequel.

Checkpoint Gaming - Charlie Kelly - 10 / 10

Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is well worth the wait and is a serious game of the year contender. Senua's follow-up journey is the best exploration of mental health that we've seen in games to date, using incredibly striking visual imagery, metaphors and immersive soundscapes to have you feel right there next to her. In what has to be the most photo-realistic game of all time, you're guaranteed to be constantly taken by the hero's adventure as you take in the beautiful and often haunting Viking Iceland. Through mud and dirt, blood and bones, Senua and Ninja Theory in turn bare all to you, the player. A masterpiece, benchmark and magnum opus, Hellblade II is crucial storytelling you won't soon forget.

Console Creatures - Patrick Tremblay - Recommended

With Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2, Ninja Theory shows that video games can be more than simple entertainment: they can be profound artistic and emotional explorations, capable of touching and transforming those who play them. This is an unforgettable journey into the heart of Iceland's darkness, where every step of Senua is a step towards self-discovery.

Digital Trends - Tomas Franzese - 4 / 5

Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2 is a visual stunner for Xbox even if its gameplay isn't too creative.

Echo Boomer - David Fialho - Portuguese - Essential

Ninja Theory has finally delivered the long-awaited and provocative sequel to Hellblade, with one of the most impressive interactive cinematic experiences of the generation, which makes you question what is real and leaves you dreaming of the graphic potential of future games still on current consoles.

Enternity.gr - Christos Chatzisavvas - Greek - 9.5 / 10

With Senua's Saga: Hellblade II, Ninja Theory builds the game it dreamed of, creating a title on a larger scale than any other.

Eurogamer - Johnny Chiodini - 5 / 5

Hellblade 2 continues Senua's story with grace, confidence, surprising brutality and thundering conviction.

GAMES.CH - Olaf Bleich - German - 89%

The game sucks you skin and hair into its fantasy world and creates such an intense bond with the characters and their stories that you want to know at every second how the adventure ends.

Game Informer - Marcus Stewart - 9 / 10

Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II’s conclusion ends on another strong note, and despite my initial reservations about continuing Senua’s story, I walked away happy to see her conquer new monsters, both literal and metaphorical.

GameSpot - Jess Cogswell - 6 / 10

Hellblade 2 is perhaps the most visually remarkable Xbox title to date, but is ultimately undermined by its emphasis on fidelity over story and gameplay.

GamingTrend - Cassie Peterson - 95 / 100

Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is a stunning and immersive storytelling experience that really puts the player into the mind of its titular character. It's even more narratively-focused than the first game (not to its detriment), with a bigger emphasis on how Senua sees and interacts with the world around her. The whole experience from start to finish has been beyond memorable.

Generación Xbox - Pedro del Pozo - Spanish - 9.3 / 10

Ninja Theory manages to place Senua in the Olympus of videogames with the most visually and sonorously powerful game we have seen so far. A spectacular, stunning and awe-inspiring journey.

IGN - Tristan Ogilvie - 8 / 10

Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II is another Viking-worthy feast for the senses that meets the high bar set by its predecessor, even if it never really manages to clear it.

INVEN - Soojin Kim - Korean - 8.5 / 10

The game's high level of immersion makes you want to play it from start to finish in one sitting. With outstanding audiovisual presentation and effects, it gives the feeling that you're playing a movie, not watching it. However, the gameplay elements, such as combat and puzzles, still lack significant meaning, which leads to rather disappoint feelings.

Kakuchopurei - Jonathan Leo - 80 / 100

While the story & gameplay's broad strokes might be familiar, Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2's execution, perspective, and overall production values are just stellar and highlights Ninja Theory's strengths in delivering what it does best: story-heavy cinematic gaming. The characters are fleshed out and well-written, with proper focus on your main character and her turmoils that carry over from the first game, the fighting feels weighty and challenging without being completely frustrating, and the HUD-less approach to presentation is welcome.

Kotaku - Claire Jackson - Unscored

A spellbinding meditation on anguish and compassion, Hellblade II delivers one of the most gripping interactive and sensory experiences of 2024

Merlin'in Kazanı - Murat Oktay - Turkish - 89 / 100

The chaotic story of Senua continues. We set out to take revenge on the Viking raiders who have inflicted devastating losses on the people of Orkney.

Metro GameCentral - GameCentral - 5 / 10

A joyless slog of barely interactive entertainment and a muddled portrayal of mental illness… that just so happens to have the best graphics ever on a video game console.

MondoXbox - Giuseppe Genga - Italian - 9.5 / 10

Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is a true masterpiece: a deep and highly immersive narrative experience that manages to make us feel all the protagonist's torment within an impressively realistic world. Ninja Theory reveals itself to be one of the most valuable studios in the Xbox stable here, reaching levels of absolute excellence in graphics, audio, narration, and acting. A must-play.

New Game Network - Alex Varankou - 70 / 100

Senua's Saga: Hellblade II keeps the basics intact, and while a strong lead character, great animations, and simple but enjoyable combat continue to deliver, the poor pacing and performance issues prevent this sequel from breaking free of its past.

Nexus Hub - Sam Aberdeen - 8 / 10

Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is the best-looking game we've ever played - a true visual powerhouse backed by an emotionally charged story and gripping dark fantasy setting, if you can look past some of its shortcomings.

One More Game - Chris Garcia - 9 / 10

Hellblade 2 is a triumph in masterful storytelling and impeccable audio design for Ninja Theory. It is an emotionally powerful experience that depicts a sensitive subject that is hardly talked about in the medium.
To achieve this, the game stripped out several features and systems like combat and exploration in favor of a deeper narrative affair. This is not for everyone, but it is something I would encourage everyone to try at least try out.

Oyungezer Online - Onur Kaya - Turkish - 8 / 10

Next gen graphics and presentation is now among us, next gen game design on the other hand, will be running late.

PC Gamer - Robin Valentine - 58 / 100

Despite its greater scale and visual splendour, this sequel fails to escape the shadow of its predecessor with a muddled tale that Senua herself feels out of place in.

PCGamesN - Cheri Faulkner - 9 / 10

Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2 is an impeccable story of coming to terms with trauma and making difficult decisions, punctuated by moments of outstanding beauty and strength.

Pixel Arts - Danial Dehghani - Persian - 9 / 10

Hellblade 2 is a stellar example of a sequel done right, building on the elements that made the original a landmark in gaming. It stays true to its roots, prioritizing depth and atmosphere over broad appeal. Fans of the first game will find much to love here, as it remains a unique and compelling experience. However, if the original didn't resonate with you, Hellblade 2 follows a similar path and might not change your mind.

Polygon - Yussef Cole - Unscored

Where the first game felt like a journey of self-discovery, both for Senua and for the player, Hellblade 2 feels more invested in creating the myth of Senua: Senua as legendary giant slayer, as mystical seer touched by the underworld.

Press Start - Brodie Gibbons - 9 / 10

Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is yet another arresting, artful chapter in an adventure now two games long. Though it might approach iteration with a very safe hand, only going so far as to correct the original's shortcomings, Ninja Theory's clear strengths in story craft, audiovisual design, as well as their care for the dark subject matter manage to shine through brighter than ever before.

Rectify Gaming - Tyler Nienburg - 10 / 10

Senua's Saga: Hellblade II emerges as a visual and storytelling masterpiece, and is unquestionably the best-looking game I've witnessed on Xbox Series X since its launch.

Rock, Paper, Shotgun - Rick Lane - Unscored

A more uncompromising version of the first game, Hellblade 2 offers a well told story and immaculate presentation. But it's also even simpler, to the point where it treats interaction like an inconvenience.

SECTOR.sk - Matúš Štrba - Slovak - 9.5 / 10

Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is, at its core, a short game, but an excellent one. But it's not for everyone. It's a bloody and often disgusting experience based on strong emotions and immersion in a character that just won't let you go. It's more of an artistic experience than a traditional game.

Saudi Gamer - Arabic - 10 / 10

An exceptionally well realized portrayal of Senua's struggle both real and praying on her fears, with brutal and satisfying combat and puzzles that require you to appreciate the world. It successfully continues what the first game started and improves upon almost every aspect.

Seasoned Gaming - Ainsley Bowden - 9 / 10

Senua's Saga is a journey unlike any other. It's fantastical, evocative, and demonstrative of Ninja Theory being masters of their craft.

Shacknews - TJ Denzer - 9 / 10

Hellblade 2 still does incredibly well. The new story is weighty, the audio is exceptional, the scenery is ridiculously dense and rich, and the combat feels intense and impactful in new and interesting ways.

Slant Magazine - Justin Clark - 3.5 / 5

The newest chapter in Senua’s story is powerfully told but feels like it’s missing a few pages.

Spaziogames - Gianluca Arena - Italian - 7.6 / 10

Senua's Saga is as strong as its predecessor, if not more, and delivers both in its storytelling and on the technical side. The gameplay, however, has still a lot of room for improvements and boils down to almost-QTE combat and boring puzzles. An experience more than an actual and so-called video game, but an experience worth living nonetheless.

Stevivor - Jay Ball - 9.5 / 10

Senua’s Saga Hellblade 2 is a video game only on its surface. Scratch that away and you’ll see that it’s a deep, thought-provoking, interactive experience proving games are an art form that demands skill and talent. Ninja Theory should be very proud.

TechRaptor - Robert Scarpinito - 7.5 / 10

Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II features intense audio, beautiful graphics, and wonderful camera work, creating a powerful presentation that’s worth experiencing. However, the narrative doesn’t quite stick the landing.

The Escapist - Unscored

Video Review - Quote not available

The Outerhaven Productions - Jordan Andow - 5 / 5

Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II sets a new bar for performances and presentation. Combined with smart improvements to gameplay, it is arguably the most cinematic, immersive, story-driven experience we’ve ever seen.

TheSixthAxis - Dominic Leighton - Unscored

Just like its forbear, Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II is an oppressive, powerful and haunting example of the power of video games, and one that sets its own parameters for what a digital experience can be. It is a game that must be experienced, not least because, there’s nothing else quite like it.

Tom's Hardware Italia - Andrea Riviera - Italian - 10 / 10

What Ninja Theory has achieved transcends reality, creating a work that is practically perfect for what it aimed to be: an audiovisual adventure with a strong narrative component. Beyond state-of-the-art graphics and sound that will undoubtedly set a standard in the coming years, what truly astonishes is the maturity with which the team has taken an excellent game like the first Hellblade and molded it into something so qualitatively impressive that it becomes difficult to even describe. This elevates the medium to a new communicative level, capable of evoking emotions and surprising players from start to finish. Experiences like Hellblade 2, which leave a lasting impression on the soul, are few and far between in a generation, and we can only rejoice in seeing how the beautiful artistic vision of the Ninja Theory team has become a reality.

Too Much Gaming - Carlos Hernandez - 5 / 5

Hellblade 2 feels like a living, breathing shapeshifter, manipulating its surroundings around the player with precision and consistency, making it one of the most visually stunning video games of this generation. This is an amazing title that carefully balances its artistic and gaming ambitions, a masterpiece that I encourage any gamer to experience.

TrueAchievements - Sean Carey - 9 / 10

Ninja Theory has created an outstanding sequel with Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2. An unforgettable narrative adventure that is brought to life through impeccable sound design, fantastic visuals, and a story that will stick with you long after the final credits roll. Hellblade 2 is one of the best games Xbox has to offer.

TrueGaming - عمر العمودي - Arabic - 8 / 10

Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is a technical achievement for the gaming industry, the visuals are impressive and realistic in a way we haven't seen before and the audio design is very impressive. The game itself though, we think it could've offered more as puzzles are repetitive and combat is quite limited. However, the storytelling is strong in this chapter of Senua's journey, though it feels heavy and depressing.

VideoGamer - Tom Bardwell - 9 / 10

Though uncomfortably bleak and distressing, Helldivers 2 is something truly special.

WellPlayed - James Wood - 6 / 10

Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is an achievement in visual fidelity but fails to define itself amid clumsy retreads and unengaging new ideas.

Worth Playing - Chris "Atom" DeAngelus - 7 / 10

Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is a beautiful but ultimately hollow game. The fantastic presentation props up a story that is less personal and engaging than in the first game, and the gameplay feels like an afterthought. It was great to see Senua again and to see her outside of the grief-misery she was enveloped in during the first game, but beyond that, there's not much to Hellblade II. It's a short and less memorable experience that shows off Ninja Theory's visual craft to its fullest - but it achieves little else.

Xbox Achievements - Dan Webb - 90%

While Senua’s Saga: Hellblade 2 might not set any new standards with its simplistic gameplay mechanics, from an audio-visual experience standpoint, it's frankly quite a stunning experience. Hellblade 2 is as close to playing the leading role in a big budget movie as you’re likely to get, and Ninja Theory’s continued coverage on the complexities of severe mental health issues deserves to be commended once more. Bravo, Ninja Theory. Bravo.

XboxEra - Jon Clarke - 10 / 10

Despite the backing of a company as large and as well-funded as Microsoft, Ninja Theory have, in my opinion, nurtured their independent spirit and kept it well and truly alive in every facet of Senua's Saga: Hellblade II. It's brutal. It's breath-taking. It's brilliant. If this is “Independent AAA”?
Sign me up for more.

ZdobywcyGier.eu - Bartosz Michalik - Polish - 9.5 / 10

Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is undoubtedly one of the best games of this year. Not only does it shine in terms of audio-visual setting, but also in terms of story. The only element that could be considered caveat is at the same time its greatest asset, namely cinematography. Sometimes one gets the impression that the developers, in an effort to achieve the best possible effect, had to make a lot of compromises, which significantly limited the gameplay possibilities. Nevertheless, for a great narrative and immersion, this is something to turn a blind eye to.