Good morning sisters and brothers, fellow Saints of our aspirational Zion. I was asked to speak and allowed to decide what the topic would be. After a lot of consideration I felt inspired to speak about being Actively Engaged in a Good Cause and how that relates to the full name of the church.
I was glad when President Nelson decided to put more emphasis on the full name of the church. Not that I mind using the term Mormon, but because I do find the full name of the church to be significant. When the church was organized in 1830 it was called the Church of Christ. In 1834 the members voted to change the name of the church to the Church of the Latter-day Saints. Then in 1838 Joseph had a revelation for the name to be The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. While this effectively combined the two previous names, it also highlights something that I think most people overlook. Namely that the church is not only Jesus’s church, but that the church also belongs to us, the Latter-day Saints. We too have ownership of the church. While this may sound strange at first, it actually also fits very well with another concept that Joseph Smith taught: Theodemocracy.
Joseph spoke of this most actively the year before his death when running for President of the United States and when the Council of Fifty was created. The idea also holds in it that while God is in charge, we also have ownership and must have a say, actively vote, propose new ideas, and generally be actively engaged in moving things forward. It is not a theocracy with a fake voting system attached like that of North Korea. However, we have largely seen our own tradition move from one in which we do things by common consent including adding to our canon or as in 1834 voting to change the name of the church, towards something much more akin to voting in North Korea. This has coincided with other shifts in which we have taken less and less ownership of our church and as a result failed to properly sustain and support our leaders.
It is unfair to our leaders for us to sit back and wait for them to do frankly most of the heavy lifting when it comes to the running and functioning of our church, stake, and ward. In the past when I’ve been in callings that required me to be overseeing the assignments of home teaching or really any other church assignments, my experience has been that occasionally some inspiration will strike for some of the assignments, but that for the majority, I felt like I was left to figure out myself what assignments seemed to make the most sense. I know that many leaders that I have spoken to on this topic have also had such experiences. When we as members speak with our leaders, share information with them, it makes it much easier to make the best decisions. Without that feedback much more is left to guesswork.
We need to support and sustain our leaders, but this becomes difficult or challenging if we bring some assumptions to the table when considering how we do this. A major one as I see it is when we put too much trust in the arm of the flesh and grant our leaders infallibility or the lesser but largely equivalent functional infallibility.
As the saying goes: “Catholics say that the Pope is infallible, but none of them believe it. Mormons say that the Prophet is fallible, but none of them believe it.” Brigham Young recognized the potential for harm in this setting and said:
"I am fearful [the Saints will] settle down in a state of blind self-security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purposes of God in their salvation, and weaken the influence they could give to their leaders, did they know for themselves, by the revelations of Jesus, that they are led in the right way.” – Brigham Young 1862 General Conference (quoted in General Conference of the church in 1963 and in 1989)
And this one is also important:
"And none are required to tamely and blindly submit to a man because he has a portion of the priesthood. We have heard men who hold the priesthood remark, that they would do anything they were told to do by those who presided over them, if they knew it was wrong; but such obedience as this is worse than folly to us; it is slavery in the extreme; and the man who would thus willingly degrade himself should not claim a rank among intelligent beings, until he turns from his folly. A man of God… would despise the idea. Others, in the extreme exercise of their almighty authority have taught that such obedience was necessary, and that no matter what the saints were told to do by their presidents, they should do it without asking any questions. When Elders of Israel will so far indulge in these extreme notions of obedience as to teach them to the people, it is generally because they have it in their minds to do wrong themselves.” – Millennial Star, vol.14 #38, pp. 593-95
Yet does this functionally happen in the church? Do we follow this council to find out for ourselves instead of simply assuming everything from our leaders is divine? Apostle Charles W. Penrose, who would later serve as counselor to President Smith, declared:
"President Wilford Woodruff is a man of wisdom and experience, and we respect him, but we do not believe his personal views or utterances are revelations from God; and when ‘Thus saith the Lord’, comes from him, the saints investigate it: they do not shut their eyes and take it down like a pill.” – Millennial Star 54:191
Do we do this? When the prophet says “Thus saith the Lord” do we take the time to investigate it? Do we remember President Kimball’s reaction to Elder Benson’s talk on the “14 fundamentals of following the prophet”?
"Spencer felt concern about the talk, wanting to protect the Church against being misunderstood as espousing ultraconservative politics or an unthinking “follow the leader” mentality. The First Presidency again called Elder Benson in to discuss what he had said and asked him to make explanation to the full Quorum of the Twelve and other General Authorities… A First Presidency spokesman Don LeFevre reiterated to the press the day after the speech that it is “simply not true” that the Church President’s “word is law on all issues—including politics.” – Lengthen Your Stride – Working Draft, by Edward Kimball
I’ve had the opportunity to know some great Mormons who do take this approach, but I’ve also known many who treat quotes from church leaders like downloaded messages from God (no human filters involved).
If we can believe that God is capable of inspiring our leaders, surely we can believe God is capable of letting us know when they’re wrong. If instead we assume that their judgment is always superior to our own, perhaps we’re helping to put up a massive iron gate.
"How often has the Holy Spirit tried to tell us something we needed to know but couldn’t get past the massive iron gate of what we thought we already knew?" – Dieter Uchtdorf 2012 Worldwide Leadership Training
Moses once opined “Would that all the Lord's people were prophets, that the Lord would put his Spirit on them!” We have all been confirmed members of the church and in that confirmation told to receive the Holy Ghost. It is easy to forget that when the spirit tells us something, that is a member of the Godhead speaking to us. If we can believe that God can give guidance to our leaders surely we can also believe God can give us guidance.
Another important and often overlooked point is the context to this oft quoted verse:
"We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion." -D&C 121:39
This statement wasn’t given in a vacuum. It is in the middle of a long discussion of priesthood and priesthood authority. This is talking specifically about priesthood leaders. When we read that “many are called but few are chosen,” we’re reading that many priesthood leaders abuse their power and only few truly honor it. The saints in Joseph’s day understood this. I think we’ve sanitized it over the years to make it seem like an aside, an intermission on the discussion of priesthood. This statement is as true now as ever. This verse, with its proper context, needs to be a lesson for us as members. We need to sustain and support our leaders. This doesn’t mean following them blindly. This doesn’t mean we must become “yes-men” to them. This does mean pray for them to be chosen instead of just called. This does mean to influence our leaders to do God’s will. Remember, one of Brigham’s concerns about us acting as if all our leaders decisions were divine is that it will “weaken the influence [we] could give to [our] leaders.”
What questions our church leaders will take to the Lord are impacted by our own openness to those things. In 1977 President Kimball expressed concern that if the Race-ban on priesthood was removed that there would be pushback from members in the American South and from some in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. When President Hinckley was asked in an interview about the Gender-ban on priesthood his response was that “there’s no agitation for it.” Until we better engage in our own history and understand how we got to where we are now it will be very difficult if not impossible for us as members to be prepared for the removal of the current gender-ban on priesthood.
Sometimes we might justify our own spiritual laziness by saying that while our leaders are fallible that God will never let them lead us astray, granting them a sort of functional infallibility. Nevermind that this was first said when my 3rd-great-grandpa President Woodruff was trying to convince members not to leave over the Manifesto. Nevermind that it means that we’re denying our leaders their agency by assuming that God removes their ability to make mistakes in their callings. Maybe some make such a statement more nuanced. Maybe they think that our leaders can make mistakes, but they won’t be majosignificant mistakes. Well, what is and isn’t significant depends a lot on who you are and how you’re being affected by it. I’m thinking that the women and children who were slaughtered in prophet-sanctioned genocide in the Bible considered that a significant mistake. I’m thinking that the thousands denied temple blessings their entire lives because of the color of their skin might consider that significant.
Let’s just recognize that few are chosen and that we need to give our leaders constructive/interactive support. We place a lot of responsibility on our leaders and they are very likely to make mistakes. Because they are human and doing their best, but as humans we all err from time to time. Recognizing the mistakes of our leaders is essential to giving them true support; it is vital to sustaining them. I would hope that we would avoid enabling or cheerleading bad decisions that friends or family are about to make. Pointing out why a decision will be or was problematic is what we expect of people who we truly love and support us, because it helps us to avoid pain and pitfalls and enables us to be our best.
Here’s a story from our little section of Salt Lake City in which members recognized the potential for mistakes and took ownership of our church. On August 23rd, 1896 Stake President Angus M. Cannon proposed a man to be the bishop of a new ward which was to be divided from the Sugar House Ward. The congregation voted against the proposed new bishop. President Angus M. Cannon then purportedly shouted "Sit down! and shut your mouths, you have no right to speak!" When Cannon engaged in a shouting match with the dissenting congregation, a ward member and policeman threatened to arrest the stake president for disturbing the peace. President Cannon more calmly repeated his attempt but was voted down "again several times." The Secretary of the First Council of the Seventy was in attendance and wrote in his journal: "I have been taught that the appointing power comes from the priesthood and the sustaining power from the people and that they have the right of sustaining or not sustaining appointees.
When it comes to being actively engaged in church endeavors our neighborhood and the general Sugar House area has done a lot. The "stake missionary program" began in the Granite Stake under President Frank Taylor in the early 1900s. It was an idea presented to President Taylor who then prayerfully considered trying it out as a stake. It proved successful and was later picked up by the General Authorities who made it a church-wide program.
The seminary program was also started in our stake after Joseph Merrill (a newly called member of the Granite Stake Presidency) felt inspired to start it and worked out agreements with the school board and got it going at the very new (at the time) Granite High School.
Also, in 1909 the Granite Stake started a monthly family home evening program. After counseling with many sisters and brothers in the stake, the Stake Presidency asked each family to spend Tuesday evening home together. All of these were local things which were eventually picked up and run at the church-wide level. We have a history in our area of being anxiously engaged and pioneering with new ideas.
While those are all instances of members, wards, and stakes starting programs for good causes in our area of Salt Lake City, they are just a few examples of Saints starting inspired efforts which were eventually accepted and promoted by the top church leaders. The relief society started when women in Nauvoo came together to do some good. The Primary program, Sunday school, Mutual Improvement Association, welfare/farming, organized genealogy efforts, and Young Adult programs all also started as members and local leaders were anxiously engaged and thereby gave influence to the top church leaders.
So as we consider how we can more actively engage in the church and look at what we can do now that would help to further the kingdom of God, I’d like to share a few things that have been on my mind which I feel would be steps which we can do now and which doesn’t require any new doctrines, revelations, or organizational adjustments from our leadership.

1. Give leaders their agency and remove the false idol of functional infallibility

I’ve already said a lot about this. The only thing I’ll add is to encourage everyone to read and learn about our history. The church history department has been putting out a lot of new, well-researched material, and there is a very high chance that it will be different than how you learned about things over the last several decades. Interestingly, most historically thorny topics become vastly easier to deal with when we stop denying leaders agency and ability to get things wrong.

1. Stop turning into a time capsule of the 1950s

This is really a small thing, but sometimes small things can have an outsized impact. Assuming someone comes into church for the first time, they will likely be a little weirded out because in dress and culture they walked into a time capsule of the 1950s. The Amish did this with mid-1800s, some Mennonites have as well. FLDS have with when they split in the 1930s/40s. These groups that have followed this pattern of freezing time and culture because they have been integrated into their religious practice are generally ones that are not really growing and have little-to-no impact or relevance in society. If we want to do the most good and build the most bridges, it is easier to do if we don’t continue falling into this pattern. Any efforts on our part to make our meetings look like a place that people in the public could come into and not feel out of place are steps in this direction. Dresses, suits and ties aren’t part of Christ’s gospel. Missionary clothing is changing for similar reasons. New guidelines for missionaries include allowing sisters to wear pants and Elders to go without jackets, so surely we can extend the same to our church attendance.

1. Always speak at church as though the audience is the general public

I have many times felt like I didn’t fit in or belong at church, and many times this has been because people speaking at church have done so with the assumption that everyone in the building must share their views on a given topic. Simply imagining that a gay couple, an ex-mormon, an investigator, some in the midst of a faith crisis, and others who live in our neighborhood are in the audience will help us to make sure that as we teach our lessons, give our talks, etc. that we will do so in the most open and welcoming way possible, which frankly is how i believe Jesus would have spoken. I truly believe that if we try to do this it will drastically improve our lessons and dialogue and help to make church a place that more people want to be. It is a change that (to borrow imagery from Jesus’s parable of the sower) will be akin to tilling and prepping the soil to improve the likelihood of allowing seeds to take root.
There are near infinite ways that we can innovate and get engaged in good causes. Awake and arise, join in the cause of Zion. The aspiration of Zion is to be of one heart and one mind and have no poor among us. I think it is worth noting that being of one mind doesn’t mean agreeing on everything. It means that we are united in love; love for God and for all persons. When this is our top priority, when we worry about how our actions impact others and whether our words and actions are conveying love, we become united. I’ve been a long-time fan of Eugene England’s essay “The church is as true as the gospel.” In it he makes the case that the church is true because it is a vehicle in which we are able to actually try to put the gospel into practice. In doing so we encounter difficulties as we interact with other fallible mortals and try to navigate our interactions in a Christ-like way. We all try and this mix of imperfect people who unite in love and service can help to bring each other and others to Christ. It is my prayer that we can find ways to engage with love, and humble ourselves like little children, to change our ways as needed to come closer to Christ. I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

It is a small fraction of the number of parents who proudly identify as autistic who will talk openly about how they think their disability adversely affects their ability to parent and how they try to compensate for these things. Far more seem to either claim, to the contrary, that doesn't affect their parenting skills, that it simply makes it "different" or just don't talk about it. And as a result, honestly the first thing that comes to mind when I hear these people talk about parenting on the spectrum or whatever is that they must be coming up short in some ways. Not that they're necessarily terrible or awful or should have their children taken away, but that they're not engaging with a lot of elements of emotional attunement that they should be engaging because of their condition, but are also completely unaware of the fact that they should be engaging with these things for the same reason.
There is also, of course, no point in telling them any of this because they won't get it for the same reason. Even though I don't voice these thoughts I feel like a bitch for having them, though, for a variety of reasons: 1) I'm a stranger making blanket assumptions about people based on things I read on the internet and have no place whatsoever making this kind of presumption about their life or parenting skills, 2) it's possible they are in fact very self-aware and just don't demonstrate this in their writing, 3) since autism is at this point so broad a diagnostic category as to be medically incoherent, it's possible that their unique manifestation of autism actually doesn't detract from their parenting ability at all. These are all very legitimate reasons.
However, on the other hand, there's Occam's razor, which points me in one direction, and I really can't help but think, am I wrong? I'd love to be wrong, I just don't think I am. We're all here because to whatever extent we've been hurt by our parent because of their disability. And where are our parents? In most cases, not in support groups talking about how hard it is for their children and how hard they're working to overcome their problems. Most of our parents think they're doing just fine, and the kids are just "weird" or "bad" for some reason because they won't do the things they want the way they want. Or "good" because they are doing the things they want the way they want. But either way, our parents don't really see their kids as people. It's not their fault. We know that. But pain doesn't have to be intended to be felt. Unless they show otherwise, what reason do I have to think these people are different, that they're not like our parents?
This is not even exclusively the case for the ones who identify as high-functioning or aspies, as you'd imagine, it's the case across the spectrum. There are a pretty shocking number of women are diagnosed with level 2 or 3 autism who are also mothers but in my experience, for whatever reason, they tend not to reflect on how their disorder has adversely affected their parenting when you'd think it would in fact have profound effects. I recall this one person (whose username I will not mention) who talks about how extensively and profoundly her autism has affected her life: she says she stims constantly and her eyes always dart around the room, she has a major speech impediment, is not supposed to be unsupervised for any length of time, cannot cross the street on her own, often loses the ability to speak or has violent meltdowns where caregivers have to restrain her for some time before she calms down (I suspect a lot of this is due to trauma rather than autism exclusively but that's neither here nor there I guess). Despite her challenges, though, she says she managed to have a daughter and raise her effectively, despite having such issues with self-care prior to her diagnosis that she was nearly taken by child services at one point: "I read lots of books on parenting and apparently I did a pretty good job." And when I read this, God strike me down for saying this, but I thought "how could that even be possible?" Maternal attunement and reciprocal conversational interchange between mother and infant is the means by which an infant learns to understand who they are; if you understand absolutely nothing of this normal conversation and are physically incapable of making eye contact even with your own baby, won't that have lasting effects on your child? It's not something you can just learn by reading a book; it is something any parenting book, at least for a lay audience, would simply assume you know. Add in the fact that she apparently functions at a 5-6-year-old level in everything other than intellectual capacity and I realize that some people find it easier to care for another person than themselves, but fuck! Her adult daughter may have told her she did a good job out of love, knowing she did her best with her limited means and capacity, but that does not mean she was actually raised well, and because of her autism obviously she wouldn't realize in the first place that this was a lie. When I saw her post this AMA thread about herself I had to fight off an almost overwhelming urge to ask pointed questions about this and force myself to leave her alone. Some consolation seems to be that she wasn't the only caregiver as she talked about the father and his family being very involved.

Hello!

My name is Adam, and I want to make a wargame!

Slight disclaimer upfront. What I am presenting in this post is a miniature agnostic wargame. I want to be perfectly clear that this form of the game is ONLY to test the idea driving the mechanics (what's fun and what's rubbish). Since I am not able to sculpt and I don't have the resources to commission sculpts, there was a point where I put my setting and lore creation for this game on the back burner. At least, until I can figure that one out.

In the meantime, however, I reckon there wouldn't be harm in taking the core idea of my wargame and transposing a miniature agnostic 'shell' around it. As such, I ask that you do not critique the generic and, frankly, clumsy naming used for any factions, characters, and abilities. They are merely a means to an end. The decision was made to mold factions and characters around models that I believe 'saturate the market'. You know, miniatures I think the most people would have available to test the mechanics.
Also, in the same vein, I care deeply about being able to tell a story when wargaming. We do it all the time when painting and basing our miniatures. It's a huge part of the hobby. I just wanted to note that my setting for the game accounts for why characters would be coming onto a combat theater piecemeal. It just may not feel very thematic right now without some imagination on your part.

Okay. With that out of the way, let's get into some actual information.

Here, you will find Dawn of Grim. Including the core rules and the faction book (very limited right now).

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1fDB0ve7cb-PmEVjrrg8L46UCdtCUuWEi?usp=sharing

To summarize:

You start a game with limited models (characters) on the battlefield and you can reinforce more into the deployment zone (DZ) as the game continues. This is done by spending resources gained from a set amount dictated by the mission and by controlling markers across the battlefield.

The game is divided into intervals where the players alternate issuing one command at a time until each player has issued five commands. A command consists of activating a character, reinforcing more into the DZ, or upgrading your force.

You may not be able to use all five commands during the first interval, but you will definitely get to the point where you'll wish there was more than five. Making how you choose to issue commands more important.

In the combat phase, you, as the person commanding the forces, lose a little bit of control while combat is resolved for the interval. As in, unless a priority target was issued, characters will shoot at the closest eligible enemy. This makes positioning characters very important. And remember how positioning is limited by commands? I bet you can see where that goes.

After that, you proceed to the next interval by starting with the Interval Accounting phase. I tried to keep the accounting here limited to things that only affected your own assets as a player. With the end goal of both players being able to account for their own happenings separately, making it a rather quick process.

It feels close to an RTS but skirmish game. Thus, the use of Dawn of Grim for the miniature agnostic shell.

Ultimately there is no way to properly convey the rules in a mere post and I hope you check it out.

Finally, some not-upfront disclaimers.

The game uses eight-sided dice. I have tons, but I worried that most people would be limited in how many they had. Hopefully not too many are needed in this game for it to be a bother.

Tracking things… First, I want you to know that my end goal for the game will present a way to track the mechanics more intuitively. Right now, it is on you how to best track things. Exhaust tokens are used often, and I tend towards using beads in my physical playtests. I also use higher sided dice for tracking resources, such as twenty and twelve-sided dice. I am curious how much of a hinderance this aspect of the game is to its current playability, though.

Another aspect of the game I have my eye on is game lengths. Originally, this game was designed on a 36" by 36" battlefield before moving to the now 30" by 24". I liked the larger field and time needed to position characters through the area, however, when I think realistically, it might not be what other people want. Let me know if the game feels too enclosed.

Finally, I am not a graphic designer. I hope the character sheets and mission graphics aren't too bad. I know that this project has a long, long way to go.


Let me know what you think and thanks for reading. ^-^

**TL;DR;** : BFF moves to different city, starts to act differently, wears our friendship down over a series of slights, plans trip to my dream locale without telling me, during my birthday. Now wants to talk and hang out since I've gone low contact.
TW: Infidelity.
General Warning: Long AF, and this is the abridged version if you can believe it.
So my closest friend since High School, someone I considered closer than a brother, that I have been through so much with, worked with, traveled with, lived with, cried with. My kindred spirit, who's been by my side for over half of the total time I have existed. A person who shaped my growth, and I his (or so I thought), in the past 3 or so years has become borderline unrecognizable to me, and it has eaten my spirit alive.
So...essentially I could write a book about my relationship with this person, but I'll try to keep things pointed and brief. I'll refer to him as Dan. Things between us had been solid for years, and we enjoyed a closeness and camaraderie on par with the likes of Troy & Abed, or Frodo & Sam, until after a period of rising tension between him and his first wife. He divorced her for "not having enough direction in life" is essentially how he put it, which, fair enough, I knew she wasn't perfect and likely needed some therapy to improve her mind set and outlook, but I did consider her a friend, and was remorseful that they couldn't make it work. During this time I let him stay with me and my gf (I'll refer to her as Lisa) for about a month rent free while he and his ex were sorting everything out,
Eventually he moves to the next city over and condemns our hometown as being some worthless crime-infested rathole, which I assume stems from the animosity of his divorce so I let him have that. Only he started to mention some version of that every time he came to visit, now I'm not smitten with this place or anything, but what he describes is a gross exaggeration, there are tons of worse places to live and this is where my career is, so I don't love the idea of constantly being down on it. Ironically the city he moved to is considered our "Sister City" and I personally do not see much of a difference between the two.
Anyway, eventually he meets a nice girl (I'll refer to her as Amy) and they begin dating, Amy, Lisa, and I actually develop a great rapport over shared interests pretty quickly, and while I'm happy to have a new friend, I begin to resent how little effort Dan's ever put into getting to know Lisa. Lisa admits to me privately that she occasionally feels excluded by him sometimes, but she says she gets enough attention from myself and Amy that it's no big deal and we're able to do many things as a 4-person group for awhile.
This dynamic would regrettably sour during a trip to a major city for a few days, just the 4 of us again. Where a singular innocuous interaction between Lisa and Dan would apparently cause him to cultivate resentment for her, the trip itself would go fine, but upon our return Dan would tell me he doesn't think Lisa likes him, and how he didn't appreciate her insulting his driving. Though the "insult" he was referring to was a harmless tease about some minor detail that both myself, Amy, and I'm pretty sure he himself had laughed at, at the time.
I explained how I felt he was misinterpreting some things, and to his credit, he did relent over that specific instance, but he and Lisa still have no relationship to speak of and hardly communicate when they're around each other at all, whereas, in stark contrast, I'll get the occasional random text from Amy about our shared interests, and she has become almost like a sister to me in the 3 years she and Dan have been together. Dan and Lisa are both aware of our rapport, and both encourage it, but I still try to keep out casual chats to a minimum (but I never just outright ignore her either), because I dislike how Dan refuses to even try to really befriend Lisa. Yet paradoxically he almost demands that I try to cultivate a friendship with Amy on par with the one I had with his Ex-Wife, and was visibly disappointed when I said I didn't know if it was possible initially. Seems like hypocrisy that should be obvious to even him.
And I wish this was the extent of it, but it gets much worse unfortunately. After returning from a business trip about a year and a half ago, he insists that he needs to confide something in me, and goes on to confess to making out with and feeling up one of his coworkers after the two of them split a number of drinks and she invited him back to her apartment. Evidently he wasn't the only one doing any cheating because she stopped it before it went any further and changed into large, unflattering loungewear, evidently indicating she was done with their liaison.
Now this I laid into him over, lambasting it as one of the worse, if not the actual worst thing he's ever done. I think he expected me to ease his conscience, but he encouraged me to befriend Amy, so I did, so effectively he cheated on a good friend of mine, and it pissed me the f*ck off. He eventually said he'd had enough, he knows it was stupid and he'd never do it again, and I just felt absolutely lost. Burdened with this horrific knowledge by someone I cared so deeply for, to the detriment of another person I care for, not to mention the horrible optics I feared from Lisa discovering that I'd be willing to conceal such a thing. Despite the utter shock, and beginning to question whether or not I even truly know this man, I choose to conceal it. I did not think it was my place to tell Amy, if she were to even believe me in the first place.
Between the hostility directed at Lisa, and now contending with the questionability of his moral character, I began to wonder if our relationship was doomed, and seeds of resentment likely began to take root in me at this time. Shortly after this he was accepted to an MBA program and began prioritizing socializing with his classmates over me, side-lining and blowing me off again and again in favor of these people who were essentially strangers. I'll admit, I used to be a little covetous of his attention, even amongst our mutual friends, but I never openly displayed this, as it's wrong to try and dictate who a person can spend time with, but the level of "social demotion" he began to put me through was absurd, to the point it arguably warranted ghosting him on it's own.
For example: Somehow we both managed to acquire multi-day passes to this theme park we both enjoy, and have a handful of good memories of attending together in HS, around the same time. However, he could not be bothered to try and arrange an outing with me to it, because his was apparently an MBA-related thing, and he wanted to save the last couple days for his classmates because they might want to go later, and he'd have to make sure that wasn't happening before he'd deign to waste them on me. Even the few times he actually invited me to go to MBA related events, he'd spend the entire time seeking out his classmates to talk to, and would not introduce me to anyone, even if I was hovering nearby, leaving me with Amy and Lisa (not that I'm complaining, I much prefer their company to that of strangers, though of course we did a decent amount of our own mingling, the 3 of us just stuck together for the most part.)
Finally, on to the latest nail in the coffin, the one that has caused me to go low contact with him and even sent some mild reverberations through our extended friend group. Since some of the earliest days of our friendship, we have discussed going to Japan together one day. About mid-March of this year, I saw some YT Short on how the exchange rate between the Yen and my home country's currency has become very favorable, and I forwarded this to him hoping to maybe broach the topic of planning to go, I think to myself maybe finally taking this trip can help us get our relationship back on track, only for him to reveal he'd already planned a trip there for himself and Amy, next month, right on top of my birthday. My birthday being something we and our extended friend group have done for whole weekends almost ritualistically at my family's lake house that they're kind enough to let me use for the past couple of years.
At that moment I felt broken. I felt utterly betrayed, and my resentment finally boiled over. All of the callousness and selfishness I felt I perceived from him drove me into a rage and after I was finished reciting multiple, vulgar, Sophia Petrillo-style curses upon his name, I calmed myself, and text him back, "Sounds like fun. Hope you guys enjoy." and went completely low contact from there. I also decided to not arrange my party from there, I knew I would be too consumed with negativity to enjoy it. Our other friends found this odd, but I just rattled off some weak excuses as to why it wouldn't work out this year.
So now all that has come and gone, and he apparently proposed to Amy while they were over there. Of course she said yes, and honestly I wish I could be happy for them, I really do. But the relationship is founded on a profound lie, and I finally revealed the truth to Lisa when I felt that the damage to Dan and I's relationship pushed it beyond ever being fully repaired again, knowing full well what she might think of me for it, but I was at a point where I decided I don't deserve to be happy, and I have failed her, I have failed Amy, and I let Dan lead me to all this. I'm sure I've failed him in some way too, probably by not forcing him to hold himself accountable, and by not calling him out on the Japan trip. He comes off so ignorant sometimes, like he's completely unaware that his actions affect anyone else, but that's not an excuse for me.
So now...I'm stuck as to what to do next. Lisa has forgiven me for my idiocy and secret-keeping, luckily that's literally the only thing I've ever kept from her, and she was understanding about the complexity of the issue. Ultimately as long as she still loves me, everything else is a bonus from my perspective.
But now I've got our extended circle pushing us to get back in contact, and he recently text me after not reaching out for a month. They know there's some kind of rift, but they've no idea the extent of my grievances, and to reveal his infidelity in particular would likely lead to a dramatic upheaval of some kind, and it also doesn't feel like it's my place to do it. I really only told Lisa because I cannot stand to keep anything from her, and she's very trustworthy with sensitive information, in addition to being far more understanding and sympathetic than I deserve.
I really want to avoid as much drama and turmoil as possible, and my father has advised me to "quietly fade out of his live" by continuing to limit contact, but reply when he reaches out, and even be open to attending any large gatherings I know he'll be at if I have other friends there, and eventually he'll take the hint and move on without a whole volatile episode. This doesn't feel like an insane approach to me, based on his treatment of me for the last year and half or so, and him reaching out like it's business as usual after a month of no contact, seems to suggest his interest in hashing anything out is minimal.
However, I have heard from other friends that he's lost contact with most of his classmates now that they're several months past graduation, and he's apparently struggling to land a job due to how picky he is over every detail, he's had like over a dozen interviews with noteworthy entities and none of them are good enough for one reason or another and so he remains at the place he's been since prior to being accepted by the MBA, and apparently out hometown isn't such a cesspit because now he's apparently been returning to go to the local hobby shops with some of our mutual friends. It kinda feels like he anticipated some grandiose move to a large city with a high-paying, low-demand job, while retaining all his upwardly mobile MBA buddies.
Oh, and now unbelievably, he's reached out wanting to hang out just the two of us. Clearly wanting to address my recent distance from him, and likely drag me through the details of that godforsaken trip.
Any advice or insight on all this would be appreciated. In my heart of hearts I still love him, I probably always will, but what he has become only seems to bring me pain.

Good people of bostonbruins I have come to make an unthinkable ask of you regarding the Evil Empire of New York. It is no secret between our kinds, that in the world of professional sports, we do not like each other. And in the world of the world, we also do not like each other.
But my Masshole bretheren, we were robbed. Our city's rivalry has been for decades centered in baseball and football, and the flames of this rivalry have long gone unfanned. We were given an opportunity, an opportunity to renew this hatred on the court and on the ice, the dominions of our cities' rivalry which have sat by the wayside for eons. Yes, the Celtics and Knicks of old did battle and yes, the Rangers and Bruins of a bygone time met in the frozen waste. But the tales we will tell our children of our history will be one of diamonds and gridiron.
We could have had it different. We could have had the Celtics and Knicks in the ECF, and at the same time had the Bruins and Rangers in the ECF. We could have… we should have gotten the two most unbelievably toxic weeks that nba and hockey have ever seen.
It's true. It's not the same anymore with them. The Yankees and Red Sox don't fight each other on the field anymore. The Giants and the Patriots are a long way from the Super Bowl, and now we sit at the bottom of the AFC East with the Jets while the Dolphins and Bills have surpassed us. The vigorous hate our great city once had for New York sports has given way to a mere dislike.
And Boston, we need to be honest with ourselves. We miss it.
We miss the fighting. We miss waking up in the morning renewed with the knowledge that after we got home from work and school we would stay up late in the hopes that we would see our city crush the hopes and dreams of children all around New York. We miss the 0-3 jokes, we miss the Eli is our dad jokes, we miss Mark Sanchez.
And you know what? They do too. Because lets just be honest here, collectively, we are better than the rest of this place. We are the frigid and somehow also blistering hot corner of this nation that has our act together. Yes we have our issues, our homes cost a million dollars and our subway systems are pathetic but have you even seen the rest of this place? Florida is underwater two months of the year. Philadelphia watches people eat rotisserie chickens for fun. Los Angeles is plastic, and Indiana is just not an important place.
Yes, the Panthers beat the Bruins, and we all went to sleep Friday knowing that alligators were not somehow only our fourth biggest problem. And yes, the Pacers beat the Knicks, and they all went to sleep knowing that their city was a better place than Indianapolis. I don't actually know anything about Indianapolis to make this a better joke because as I mentioned earlier, not an important place.
We could have brought new life to only truly great rivalry this country has ever seen. Because what else is there? The Saints and the Falcons? Those people don't even have teeth.
That new life to our eternal struggle was taken from us, and it was taken by Indiana and Florida.
So my proposal to you, good people of bostonbruins is that for one round, and one round only. We do the unthinkable. We unite. They will cheer for the Celtics, and in return, we do the unthinkable. We cheer for the Rangers.
This truce extends to the conference finals and no further. They shall not wish a new banner upon us, and we will not wish one upon them. The United States of America has never known greater sports cities than New York and Boston and they have could never imagine how unbelievably toxic we could manage to be if for two weeks we did the unthinkable, we stood together.
I have been to the dark lands. I have spoken with the Court of Rats and they have accepted these terms.
I know this isn't how we wanted this. We wanted to fight. We wanted to pour gasoline on the fire. Not in an oil drum under an overpass like they do in the lesser parts of this country, but pour gasoline into the heart and soul of the greatest rivalry sports will ever know and lets make those stupid fucks regret taking it from us.

Good people of bostonceltics I have come to make an unthinkable ask of you regarding the Evil Empire of New York. It is no secret between our kinds, that in the world of professional sports, we do not like each other. And in the world of the world, we also do not like each other.
But my Masshole bretheren, we were robbed. Our city's rivalry has been for decades centered in baseball and football, and the flames of this rivalry have long gone unfanned. We were given an opportunity, an opportunity to renew this hatred on the court and on the ice, the dominions of our cities' rivalry which have sat by the wayside for eons. Yes, the Celtics and Knicks of old did battle and yes, the Rangers and Bruins of a bygone time met in the frozen waste. But the tales we will tell our children of our history will be one of diamonds and gridiron.
We could have had it different. We could have had the Celtics and Knicks in the ECF, and at the same time had the Bruins and Rangers in the ECF. We could have… we should have gotten the two most unbelievably toxic weeks that nba and hockey have ever seen.
It's true. It's not the same anymore with them. The Yankees and Red Sox don't fight each other on the field anymore. The Giants and the Patriots are a long way from the Super Bowl, and now we sit at the bottom of the AFC East with the Jets while the Dolphins and Bills have surpassed us. The vigorous hate our great city once had for New York sports has given way to a mere dislike.
And Boston, we need to be honest with ourselves. We miss it.
We miss the fighting. We miss waking up in the morning renewed with the knowledge that after we got home from work and school we would stay up late in the hopes that we would see our city crush the hopes and dreams of children all around New York. We miss the 0-3 jokes, we miss the Eli is our dad jokes, we miss Mark Sanchez.
And you know what? They do too. Because lets just be honest here, collectively, we are better than the rest of this place. We are the frigid and somehow also blistering hot corner of this nation that has our act together. Yes we have our issues, our homes cost a million dollars and our subway systems are pathetic but have you even seen the rest of this place? Florida is underwater two months of the year. Philadelphia watches people eat rotisserie chickens for fun. Los Angeles is plastic, and Indiana is just not an important place.
Yes, the Panthers beat the Bruins, and we all went to sleep Friday knowing that alligators were not somehow only our fourth biggest problem. And yes, the Pacers beat the Knicks, and they all went to sleep knowing that their city was a better place than Indianapolis. I don't actually know anything about Indianapolis to make this a better joke because as I mentioned earlier, not an important place.
We could have brought new life to only truly great rivalry this country has ever seen. Because what else is there? The Saints and the Falcons? Those people don't even have teeth.
That new life to our eternal struggle was taken from us, and it was taken by Indiana and Florida.
So my proposal to you, good people of bostonceltics is that for one round, and one round only. We do the unthinkable. We unite. They will cheer for the Celtics, and in return, we do the unthinkable. We cheer for the Rangers.
This truce extends to the conference finals and no further. They shall not wish a new banner upon us, and we will not wish one upon them. The United States of America has never known greater sports cities than New York and Boston and they have could never imagine how unbelievably toxic we could manage to be if for two weeks we did the unthinkable, we stood together.
I have been to the dark lands. I have spoken with the Court of Rats and they have accepted these terms.
I know this isn't how we wanted this. We wanted to fight. We wanted to pour gasoline on the fire. Not in an oil drum under an overpass like they do in the lesser parts of this country, but pour gasoline into the heart and soul of the greatest rivalry sports will ever know and lets make those stupid fucks regret taking it from us.

Good afternoon!
To all my fellow Ithaca residents, please make sure to take to the polls today, to vote in the Ithaca City School District Board of Education election. If you believe in public education, making sure our students, teachers and support staff are getting the resources and tools they need to thrive and succeed, you will make time to get to the pools, between 12pm and 9pm. If you don’t have access to transportation, I am happy to transport folks (send me a message on Facebook or email)
As many of you know, I spent 6 years on the Board of Education, until I made the difficult decision to resign two years ago. After receiving many Facebook messages, text messages, and phone calls in the past 24 hours from friends and community members asking me who they should vote for and if they should vote yes/no to the budget, I have decided to share my thoughts publicly so I can get back to my 9-5 job for the day . As a single mom of three and a homeowner, I empathize with the sentiment of people feeling like they can no longer afford to rent or own a home in Ithaca. However, Ithaca has been becoming unaffordable for quite some time, I say this as someone who has lived in this community for 21 years. This feeling did not start with our assessment that increased this past year or the rollout of the BoE budget. Voting NO to the budget will not change your assessment, it will not “stick it” to administrators, who will get their raises along with other unionized ICSD employees as part of contractual negotiations. Voting NO will punish and hurt children, teachers and supporting staff. Teachers and support staff will have less resources and support to educate and inspire our children if we have to adopt a contingency plan. And our most vulnerable students will suffer the most. “How a society treats its most vulnerable is always the measure of its humanity” – Ghandi. In this context, how ICSD cares for and educates its most vulnerable students is an indication of how well the school district fares in educating its school community.
As we have all read about four of our schools losing “Good Standing” status with NYSED, and our Black and Brown students feeling the impact of this the most; how can we as a community in good conscious, say that we will provide our children, our future leaders with less than they deserve to overcome the many obstacles that the pandemic has created. For all the caregivers, educators, mental health workers out there, we all know - no one is okay! Some of us were not okay before we were forced into a few years of isolation, so to expect our educators to be able to reconcile the damages that the pandemic created with fewer resources is setting our educators up for the impossible. And yes, taxpayers should not have to bear the weight of this alone when we live in a town with college/university campuses. So instead of glorifying the problem, why don’t we talk about structural solutions? How many of us know Anna Kelles and Lea Webb personally, socially or professionally? Why don’t we bring in our state representatives to help us think about structural long-term solutions of state aid and university contributions? And while we are at it, invite Governor Kathy Hochul who sits on the Board of Trustees of Cornell University to this conversation; why are we not thinking strategically about those who hold power to shift this paradigm? I know this will take time, and folks are concerned with the now.
What can we do now? We can do an inventory of what ICSD offers and provides our students and staff from academics to extracurricular activities. We can ask the questions of, what is the district allocating funding for and is it effective and for whom? The district has an Evaluation Officer, we need to hear from her on what are the impacts of our initiatives, programs, and the curriculum offerings. Our teachers and support staff have unions and union leaders. We need to hear from the union leaders, not just during budget season or when chaos is amiss, but throughout the academic years so we know how best to support teachers all year long.
I will be voting yes to the budget. Yes, it is a huge increase. But guess what folks? We have 12 schools in our very small city, and we are living during a time of high inflation so the services needed to support all these 12 schools have increased. A typical classroom in our building has many adults. I bring this up because I constantly hear the comparison of salary of ICSD teachers to teachers outside the district who are making more than ICSD teachers. 9/10 times these teachers in other districts are making more money because they don’t have co-teachers, teachers assistants, teacher aides, 1:1s, etc. I am in NO way making the argument to have less support in the classroom or to eliminate positions, I am pointing out that our district has a larger supporting staff than many other districts. Teachers and supporting staff deserve a HIGHER wage without question. But this is not an ICSD only problem, this is a nationwide issue. Our country has not put anywhere near enough funding into public education that is needed. And this is not an excuse for the Board or the highly paid administration team. But we have to be real about what are the root causes vs. symptoms of the problems. Give this article a read if you have time: Schools are bracing for widespread teacher layoffs. Here’s why CNN Politics
Now the tricky part of this post, who I am voting for. I am going to be brutally honest because that is just who I am. After attending the public forum with all seven candidates, I left with very very strong opinions of what I witnessed and heard. I plan to vote for Barry Derfel, Moira Long, and Eldred Harris. I know Barry Derfel very peripherally from sitting on the BoE, as well as when I worked for the Multicultural Resource Center, and he was supporting teachers with culturally responsive teaching as well as participating with the Talking Circles initiative. What I know of Barry, is that he is a supporter of equity and inclusion, meaning NO CHILD GETS LEFT BEHIND. Barry has been a teacher, an administrator, and is a parent – he understands the many facets of public education and how we are thriving as a district and how we are failing as a district. Two truths can stand side by side.
I was on the BoE with both Eldred and Moira during my tenure, and it was not always cordial and a walk in the park between us. But what I can say, is that in those behind the door conversations, heated debates, I rarely ever questioned their commitment to children and teachers and support staff. Moira has always championed for teachers and retirees; she understands their plight and struggles as a former teacher herself. Eldred and I both grew up in NYC (though he is my senior by maybe a couple decades) and understand the struggles of being hyper visible yet unseen, overcoming adversity, attending underfunded schools, and taught by teachers who were tasked with the impossible. I know Eldred to be someone who is going to champion for what is best for every child, someone who is going to tap into their radical imagination to think of another way forward, someone who has institutional knowledge and knows how far the district has come, and someone who is willing to ask the hard questions.
I’m going to close this long monologue by saying I believe in creating space for new voices at the table. However, some of these new voices are advocating for changes that will hurt specific populations of children, like candidates who are advocating to bring back policies such as "tracking", while research shows tracking has a disparaging outcome for students and frankly is a racist policy. I said it. There are also candidates who have flip flopped on their support of the budget, telling ITA they would vote yes and after receiving the teacher’s union endorsement telling community members, they would vote no for the budget. Misleading your constituents is never a good sign and not a good way to build community trust and engagement. If I had to vote for a fourth candidate, it would be Todd Fox. He was honest and transparent about his talents and his lack of knowledge of the processes within public education. However, he spoke with passion and authenticity when speaking about his experiences in the school district as a student, and the support he wished he had as a former ICSD student. What I hope for in a school board member, is someone is not afraid to ask the hard questions, someone who listens with compassion and empathy (even if they disagree), someone who takes the time to get to know their constituents and can be honest with themselves and their fellow board members when they are individually or collectively are missing the mark. And most importantly, someone who is is always thinking about equity, and who is at the table and who is not. Our district is in need of school board members who are looking beyond what their individual child needs and instead is looking at what all of our children need in order to receive an equitable education that allows them to more than survive but to thrive within ICSD.
(excuse my typos I don’t have the energy to edit this another time, apologies)
Nicole LaFave
Nicole LaFave Interim Director of Diversity, Inclusion and Belonging Office of Diversity and Inclusion Samuel Curtis Johnson Graduate School of Management Cornell University

Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/1cxj7h8/comment/l52vtd5/?context=3
*****

The Palatini of Orias journey took nine grueling days of traveling down the peaks of Torness Mountain Range. But at long last, they reached the Coralus Valley. While the temperature was far below what the half-elf usually enjoyed, it was far better than the mountain peaks.
They traveled through the valley, trying to avoid the multiple hostiles, villages, and anyone else who could tip off their enemies. They had to take every tedious path imaginable to prevent possible contact with the enemy.
Staring at their destination, Fraeya Holiadon could not decide if she should be thrilled or distorted at the sight. "Is this the place?"
"I believe so," Raegel said. "The pattern of the structures matches my drawings and the map. See the remains of the two walls?"
"And the stone rings that direct out," Henness said.
"So, you have read the legends," Raegel said, surprised by the centurion's knowledge of the temple.
"I always prepare before a mission," Henness said. "Those half rings, are they stone or artificial?"
"They look like stone, so I think they used the ground stone and molded them," Raegel said.
Fraeya Holiadon carefully stared at the temple ruins. All she could see was the destruction—fractured stone buildings, walls, weed-infested stone pavement, and so on. While there were still many stone structures, most were destroyed. She could only see death, not the walls her father could see.
She turned to ask her father what he was talking about but saw Centurion Fionntan Henness pointing toward the walls and other details.
Watching the two communicate about the features of the temple, she realized how out of depth she was. Her father spent generations studying ruins like this, while Henness is an experienced soldier. For Fraeya, this was her first mission outside the academy supervision, and she realized how different the world was compared to the classroom.
As the two spoke, her elf ears overheard Henness mention that he saw green webbing. As the two men debated what creatures could create that webbing, she already knew based on the type of webbing. Being an excellent student, she recalled the topic regarding intelligent monsters. While many species produce a web, only one creates a thick green. Goblins.
"Father," Fraeya said. "I think goblins made those webbings."
"How could you possibly know that?" Henness asked, unconvinced by the theory. "It would easily be Rorgo or a Kipt."
Fraeya reached into her backpack and pulled out her notepad. She flipped through the pages and responded, "Kipt is more silk-like, while Rorgo is more for capturing prey. Both are white. Only Goblins make green."
"She is correct," Raegel said. "The green should have been a given."
"Alright," Henness said. "That complicates things."
"How so?" Fraeya asked. "The academy said they are weak. Adventures and local militia kill them constantly, so your men should be able to wipe them out with your weaponry easily."
"Goblins are weak in small numbers, but they are a nightmare in large numbers," Henness said. "And depending on the horde, they adapt to who their enemies are quickly. For all I know, we could be fighting a nest that is as heavily armed as we are."
Fraeya looked back toward the next with much confusion. She knew about the goblin's ability to adapt. However, her teachers never stated how formal they could be. Only treating them as barbarians is a functional civilization. "I would think the academy would mention something like that."
"If you are going to be out here in the world, you must understand that life is very different from the classroom," Henness said. "The difference between someone who lives behind a desk versus someone on the ground. Now, I need to get my forces ready for our attack."
Once the centurion left, Fraeya looked at her father. "I am starting to get the impression that my schooling wasn't as truthful as I once thought."
Raegel chuckled at the statement from his daughter. "That is what I said when I left my academy in Thali'ean," he said with a short chuckle before he spoke. "Henness was correct; there is a large gap between the classroom and out here in the world."
"I see. So, now, what do we do?"
"We wait for the legionaries to form a plan. Because time is not on our side, he will want you to assist with your magic. Do you think you can assist? If you are uncomfortable, tell me now, and you can stay here where it is safe."
Feeling a nervous chill creeping down her spine, she looked back toward the temple and breathed heavily. "I admit, I am scared, but I didn't come here to babysit the camp. I want to help."
She felt her father pat her on the back, feeling a sense of pride from his touch.
"That's my daughter."
After an hour of planning, the Palatini of Orias began their assault on the temple ruins. The plan was for a primary team to assault the temple directly, triggering a response from the goblin. The second team would remain on the high ground and pick off the horde.
Fraeya ended up on the right side of the group team. To her surprise, many soldiers were thrilled that they were finally getting into a fight. She wondered, after two weeks of crawling over the mountains and hiding like rodents, they finally got a chance to be soldiers.
The primary assault group she was attached to advance toward the temple once the signal was given. Passing one of the few remaining wall structures, they entered the temple ground. As they swept through the old temple's front sections, the goblins huddled around a fire pit, noticed them, and prepared for battle.
Three legionaries known as circilmen, from the palatini positioned themselves to engage the incoming enemy. Carrying a ranged projectile weapon known as a circiletum, they hid behind the front shield men and fired upon the incoming enemy. They picked off two of the three goblins as the last one quickly crawled under a piece of rubble for cover. Then, the palatini heard a painful screech from the hiding goblin.
Fraeya couldn't help herself but stand there noticing the two fresh corpses. She then watched as two of the swordsmen rushed to the hiding goblin. They reached in and pulled the little green monster out of its hiding spot.
Two swordsmen grabbed the goblin and dragged it from its cover, it jumped on top of one of the legionaries, stabbing its blade into its armor, unable to break through. With a short struggle, the legionary could slam the goblin onto the ground. The other legionary stomped on the body before thrusting his gladius into the monster.
Hearing another screech, Fraeya looked down the stone path and saw goblins popping out of every crack and corner.
One of the legionary officers ordered the unit to reform. The swordsmen took the front with their large scutum shields, creating a two-line protective shield wall. Behind them were the circilmen, taking cover behind the scutum.
The group of goblins charged forward. As they approached, the legionaries saw the raw, starving rage within their dark green eyes—a thirst for primal instincts of food and lust and nothing else.
"Fraeya, is it?"
Hearing her name, she turned to the commanding offer of this group.
"When I give the order, shake the ground." The lower-ranking Centurian said.
Fraeya acknowledged the order as she understood what he was planning.
Turning back to the incoming horde, she watched the three circilmen open fire. The circiletums cut down the forward group of goblins. The ones behind that row suddenly stopped from the shock but were cut down by a second volley.
"Now. Before they scatter."
Fraeya placed her hands together and chanted. The two tiny mana crystals on her gloves blew green as she felt a raw energy channel through her body. A moment later, that glow expanded to the point that it encompassed her hand.
Channeling the mana needed for the spell, Fraeya placed her left hand on the ground.
The stone ground beneath them shook the stone terra, stunning the goblins. Right down the center, cracks formed, and the terra broke apart. The road slightly uplifted into an elevation, forcing the goblins to focus on what was happening.
With the ground disinformed, it prevented the enemy from scattering in an organized manner, allowing the circilmen to fire another volley.
The front scutum marched forward and started cutting down anything that moved. The other line split into two groups. They were marching down the street in an almost synchronized manner. They held their shields high toward the ruins, protecting the circilmen from any incoming projectile. Arrows and magic.
Fireballs flew and impacted the scutum infantry, protecting the flanks. Some of the shields glowed from the impact. The flames engulfed one of the men's arms, and he started to scream from the pain.
The circilmen returned fire, and a firefight began. The sound of their weapons crackled throughout the surrounding area, amplified by the ruined walls. Above the sound of battle were the voices and cries of the wounded—the circiletum that were deployed on the ridge above rained fire from the suppressive team.
The Palatini of Orias pushed deeper into the temple ground as the battle continued. That was until the town began to be consumed by this thick haze, providing cover for the goblins, and restricting visibility for the Lat forces. While not educated to the standards of civilized races, Goblins were not stupid.
"It is a haze," Fraeya said. "They must have a mage somewhere within the nest."
Centurion Fionntan Henness approached their forces and began to regroup. "Can you counter it?"
"No," Fraeya replied. "I never studied Aeromancy magic."
"Nebulo," Henness said. "Our armor and weapons will be less effective."
Fraeya understood his concern. From what she recalled from her classes; goblins have sharp senses. Based on the density of the haze, it was clear even to her that they were planning to force them to huddle and expose themselves to be surrounded, making their ranged weapons worthless.
"We will just have to work around it," Raegel said.
As Frayea prepared herself, she felt a strange feeling throughout her body, almost like some field affecting her body. She saw a female legionary in light armor and a cloak checking over the wounded. One of the few women in the legionary, she could tell she was the unit healer specializing in Sanamancy magic. The women must have placed a barrier to help protect against any poisonous gasses lying within the haze.
Orias advanced through the haze; this forced the soldiers to clump together for safety. As the assault group progressed, they were hit non-stop by the goblin's arrow fire, spears, and fire shots from sling guns. Most of these projectiles caused minor damage thanks to the heavy armor legionary’s wear. However, this did not remove the damage as it brought discomfort and limited their progression to a crawl.
Barely noticing two figures on top of a rooftop through the haze, who were firing slingshots toward their position, she pointed her hand toward a piece of rubble and, with her magic, lifted the debris and projected it through the haze. The rubble temporarily formed a gap in the haze that increased the line-of-sight.
She then called out to the fire battle mage within the unit. The mage realized what was happening and fired multiple firebolts toward the tower. Five bolts impacted the building from different directions, engulfing the structure in flames. Everyone could hear the faint sound of goblins screaming as the building burnt.
With the tower collapsing suddenly, arrows rained through the thick haze, hitting the legionaries in retaliation. While most arrows bounced off the armor, some found exposed spots. Two more legionaries fell to their knees, with one vomiting blood, forcing the healed to focus on the sick over protecting the group.
It became clear that the goblins changed their tactics and poisoned their arrows. While worthless against armor, they could still puncture the underneath clothing and scrap any exposed part of the skin.
A luperca legionnaire picked up an old broken wagon and used it as a shield to protect. With the cover, the lower ranking commanders directed the circilmen to pick off any goblins that peaked above the surface.
Combined with the haze and change of tactic, this formed a strange stalemate between the two sides. The Orias was forced into a defensive; they were well equipped to deal with any goblins who dared to get within melee range. However, the goblins had surrounded and had the range advance as they could see through the haze, allowing them to snipe any legionary who adventured far from the group.
Fraeya saw a blob of acid impact a swordsmen's scutum. The scutum started being consumed by the spell, slowly falling into pieces. The man screamed as he felt his arm burn, desperately untieing the strappings to ditch the heavy shield.
"We need to kill their shaman before we are picked off," Raegel said.
"I agreed," Henness replied. "As long as this haze is here, my suppressive team is useless."
"If I recall," Fraeya said. "A Shaman should be nearby. Someone close enough to maintain this haze and give commands but not put themselves in danger."
"Then I know where it should be," Henness said. "Let's go half-elf."
She felt her ears perk up once she realized the centurion was talking about her. She looked toward her father and saw the 'it is time to prove yourself' look. Taking a deep breath and preparing herself, she gathered behind Henness and six of his men.
The assault unit left the main one and adventurer deeper into the temple grounds. As they reached what remained of an intersection, goblins stormed out of the stone buildings to ambush the legionaries.
With their disciplined reaction, the legionaries immediately adjusted their formation and sliced down the attackers. Henness stood at the center, holding his sword out as flames wrapped around the blade.
As the goblins attacked the swordsmen, Fraeya broke apart the ground on the right flank, knocking many goblins. The one that fell, she entangled them by summoning vines - which trapped the goblins and pulled them into the ground until their death or burial.
She then turned and lifted parts of the ground on the left flank, blocking some of the goblins. This prevented the legionaries from being encircled.
"Reform," Henness ordered. "We need to advance quickly. Stay close."
Once the path was clear, the unit moved toward the building where the goblins had fortified. Henness moved in front of her to provide protection. He held up his shield, deflecting arrows.
"Stay behind me," Henness said.
While not being a military woman, Fraeya quickly learned to accept the chain of command on this quest. On the battlefield, her father told her to listen to Henness as he was a man of war. She realized that the structure and safety of the city and the academy are vastly different in the countryside. Getting behind him, she followed him close behind as he pushed forward, arrows striking his shield, allowing her to get in range for her spell.
The legionaries stopped engaging the incoming goblins, allowing their centurion and the young mage to get closer. Henness reached around his scutum and pressed the amulet attached to the outer shell's center. Once pressed, the large shield briefly glowed before darkening, returning to the standard red with white lining design.
Up ahead, Fraeya saw in full display of the nest. Spikes, fortification, and green webbing filled the gaps between the ruined structures. Skeletons and decomposing bodies littered the areas of their past victims. The goblins were standing in the bunker sections, preparing for battle. With how heavily guarded it was, she concluded that this must be where the Shaman was.
"Fraeya, now!"
Fraeya moved around the man to cast her spell. With a quick chant, her hands glowed green again. As she channeled her mana, an acid attack impacted Henness' scutum. While the added hardening enchantment from the amulet increased the scutum resistance, the acid slowly ate through the large shield.
Stepping from cover, Fraeya aimed her hands at the nest. The ground trembled a little as the front of the nest collapsed on itself from the summoned sinkhole.
With the front entrance open, Fraeya saw the Shaman in plain view—a female, being one of the few within a goblin nest. The Shama looked scared as she looked around where to hide.
Fraeya did not give it time as she cast a spell that created a spike from the ground below the Shaman and pierced straight through the vicious monster, killing it instantly.
As the Shaman staff hit the ground, the haze started to disappear.
Believing that her work was complete after killing the goblin leader, her ears quickly heard footsteps surrounding them.
Noticing that the goblins were about to swarm their position, she took cover behind Henness to protect his rear. She took a deep breath as she felt exhausted from the battle and cast so many spells quickly.
Starting at five goblins that emerged from the ruins, Fraeya watched as they charged toward them. Before they got close, however, each one was sniped from the ridge-side suppressive team.
With a moment of confusion, she stared toward the cliffside and saw the suppressive team. Now that the haze is disappearing, they could snipe off the remaining goblins from their elevation position.
"Good job, half-elf," Henness said, slowly stepping back with a shield aimed at the flames, guiding Fraeya back.
"Stop calling me half-elf," Fraeya yelled. "I am out here risking my life with the rest of you, and don't give me that war is a male-domain thing! I am willing to see this through. Most of my kind would stay home and let you fight, so why do you keep degrading me?"
"Because ideals get people killed," Fionntan Henness replied. "Out here, you must earn that respect within the brotherhood of warriors, especially if you are used to living inside the city walls. People with a self-protected mindset usually end up as food for the worms or get my soldiers killed because they do not understand what it takes to survive."
The centurion then turned to the destroyed nest. "I will say, though, what you did here. It is a good first step for a half-elf." He then turned to give her an approving smile.
Not understanding the humor from the Lat, Fraeya accepted it. From her experience, Lats always had a strange sense of humor. Insults are sometimes seen as compliments while praising could be considered offensive. Saying one thing but meaning another is a common trait for them.
With the remaining palatini coming after clearing the remaining goblins, Fraeya saw her father. She rushed over and hugged him and teared up.
"You did good, my dear," Raegel said as he patted her.
"Is this really what it is like out here?" Fraeya asked.
"Sadly, it is," Fraeya replied. "That is why I never brought you around on my digs."
"I am sorry to interrupt," Henness said. "We are on borrowed time, so can we get at it?"
Fraeya looked toward the centurion with frustration as she wanted a moment with her father. After taking a deep breath, she realized that he was right.
After finishing her hug, she brushed off the goblin's blood and clothing.
"Then we better begin searching for what we came for," Raegel said as he reached for his bag. She watched as he pulled out a perfectly smoothed, pure black orb. By itself, it didn't look impressive. She had seen hundreds of these orbs at the academy or the many workshops within the city.
Raegel held the orb in one hand and activated it with his mana. The orb glowed light blue and fainted, barely emitting any energy. He then took it against the mountain and began scanning.
Not wanting to miss anything, Fraeya quickly pulled out her journal, skipping past all her notes until she reached a blank page. She then began documenting everything her father did, taking in every world and detail.
The palatini began walking through the ruins, heading toward the mountain wall. Raegel explained in his research that the temple extended inside the mountain, like a dwarf borrian. While others who came before him came up with this theory, they were still looking for a way to detect the hidden door markings and find it.
Raegel moved down the side of the mountain, holding the orb high.
"Why are you not using a door-detecting amulet?" Fraeya asked.
"Because people have been using that for generations and found nothing here," Raegel replied.
After a reasonable amount of time when nothing had happened, Fraeya began to wonder if everything was for nothing. Seeing the lack of progress, Henness inquired if the orb failed to work. As Raegel replied, the orb suddenly blimped orange for a moment.
Witnessing the sudden change, the group backed away as they did not know how to respond to the sudden glow.
Noticing a renewed excitement from her father, she followed him closely as they investigated the mountainside.
As they searched, her father noticed that the faint blue glow from the orb had changed to orange. It then disappeared and slowly appeared, like it was slowly pulsing. When they continued walking forward, the pulsing light increased in speed.
"I think it is directing us, father," Fraeya said.
"Possible," Raegel said. "There must be some type of link."
The palatini followed the direction the orb gave. As the group approached a mountainside wall, the pulse frequency increased until it looked like the orb glowed a solid color.
"I think we found it," Raegel said. He lifted the orb toward the wall.
As the orb drew closer to the mountainside, these blue lines appeared all over the rocky wall. The rough chips of rock melted away and turned smooth as the light traveled through the grooves, slowly creating what looked like a giant door of light.
Once the bright lights finished designing a massive door, Fraeya placed her hand on the wall, shocked at how the natural bulky rocks turned into a marble-like wall.
"I would step aside, Fraeya," Raegel said.
As Fraeya stepped backward, she watched her father open the door with a magical spell. Like most magical doors, the door brightened as she expected it would fold into the mountain. To her surprise, the door didn't fold away but melted into the ground.
"What happened to the door?" Fraeya asked.
Raegal placed his hand on his chin. "It seemed that the wall was not solid but some liquid matter. These people are impressive."
The wall began to shake as dusk from the cracks spread through the area.
A large opening formed as the door walls folded into the mountainside. A passage leading deeper into the mountain. The walls were black and smooth, while the floor had these textiles in perfect order, leading deeper into the mountain.
"This has to be a dwarven design," Fraeya commented. "Only they could do something like this."
"I'm not sure," Raegel said. "This is not a design I have seen from dwarves."
Fraeya understood what her father meant. Dwarven doors into the mountains took a lot of work to find. While there were many designs of such hidden doors and the means to open them, it was doubtful that anyone had ever seen a secret magical door like this before.
Raegel started to walk into the chamber but was suddenly stopped by Henness. Stating that he wanted his men to go first to ensure no trap, three legionaries moved through the large chamber. Once they gave the clear, the rest of the group entered.
While walking, Fraeya stayed close to her father as she took notes. The soldiers ahead of them set up torches to add more light. To her surprise, the walls and floor were smooth. The air was stale, probably trapped within this chamber for centuries.
As they walked inside, the room lit up. Everyone stopped as they looked toward the end of the hall. The chamber was empty, with only a strange-looking platform at the very end. Noticing that the orb was pointing toward the platform, they approached it.
"Is this it?" Henness asked. "It does not look that impressive."
"Not everything is based on size, centurion," Raegel replied, to which his daughter giggled.
Fraeya then analyzed the platform. It was smooth, almost marble-like. However, she doubted whether it was marble. The fundamental details that she noticed were a strange-looking blue crystal at the center of the platform and another in a hole on the side.
"This is interesting," Fraeya commented. The design looked surprisingly simple. This orb must act as some command orb for this device. They must be communicating in some manner."
"Assuming that the legend was true, the orcs were the ones who summoned the lats from Altaerrie," Fraeya said. "Maybe, when this place was lost of that time, it was never turned off. Being left in a state of slumber, waiting to be reawakened."
"Possible. It would explain why the orb directed us here. The orange pulse is now pointing down at a rapid pace."
"I think it goes into that hole, father," Fraeya said. "From what I can tell, the crystal in there connects to the one on top of the platform."
"I see," Raegel said. "The pulse is pointing toward it too. I recommend that everyone step back."
"Be careful, father," Fraeya said.
Stepping back from the platform, Fraeya watched as her father placed the orb into the hole. This was the moment her father had been talking about for decades, and it had finally come true. The Bridge between two worlds had finally been discovered.
As Raegel placed the orb into the platform, it glowed orange in a solid state, no longer pulsing. The blue crystal in the middle of the platform slowly lit up, like it was waking up after a long sleep.
The air suddenly chilled as the air flowed toward the platform. A bright light beamed out of the crystal and slowly faded away, leaving a light as if on standby.
To their dismay, the orb changed to red, dimming and brightening in a slow, tired pattern.
"What is it doing, father?" Fraeya asked.
"I have no idea," Raegel replied. "It must be waiting for something."

I’m not going to spare the details because I couldn’t care less if he were to miraculously stumble across this. My ex and I have a close friendship that we’ve worked hard for, but first and foremost we are co parents and that never changes. (For context about the “chummy” conversation.)
He has been experiencing some mental issues with his memory. So in some cases he will need reminded multiple times of things, but he doesn’t like to be reminded that he was already told. But he also struggles with change and “last minute” plans so it’s important to communicate with him before the fact.
Our 12 year olds baseball team made it to the tournament phase of the season and it happened to be on his week that those games started. I knew about the tournament weeks ago and mentioned it multiple times, once by text, once by phone call, once in person. The day of comes around and I have his uniform and gear, I text his dad to check in and let him know I have it and how to get it… he texts back irritated that I’m “just finding out”, so I explain “I’m not just finding out, I’m just now sharing details but we have known about the date for a few weeks, and I told you a few different ways” (trying to jog his memory, I listed when I told him before).
Long story short he gets upset, and I am wildly confused about what I did to deserve the frustration and attitude I was getting. He tells me to leave him alone and curses at me multiple times, to which I reply with an apology for the frustration but that I don’t deserve the wrath from him, that it’s misplaced and that I get to call people out when they treat me poorly, I also explained why I said what I said, and covered the bases of conversation that got us there. The last thing he said was that I was harassing him (I’m the kind of person who breaks texts into thoughts and doesn’t do all in one message) and that I was pointless to talk to.
This is mostly a vent but also, I have no idea how to handle this going forward. I told him I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place with this stuff, and to tell me how exactly to handle it, but this just got me a reply about how I need to stop and how impossible I am. What was I supposed to do here?

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1/22/2048 (military calendar)
Campsite, the former Confederacy of Daru'uie
Nevali Region, Aldrida, Alagore


*****


Looking past the dark horizon of the valley below, all that was seen were the crisp peaks and ridges of the Torness mighty mountains. Above the heights was the final shine of the father of all light, the yellow sun god known as Dorash. It almost seemed like his gaze was taking one last peek at the skirt of Alagore mountain peaks before finally fading to rest.
As the sun fell below the distant mountain peaks, a robust and crisp breeze swept through the valley below, bringing a sudden chill. As expected, the darkness came and got the freezing mountain cold. Everything became pitched black as the only light source came from the starlight flickering high above the dark void. That was until a new light from the campfires illuminated the camp, only so slightly not to be discovered.
The half-elf girl Fraeya Holiadon was not used to this type of cold. Being a forest noble elf who grew up in the warmth of cities, she quickly grabbed her black-white pattern cloak and pulled tightly to remain as warm as possible.
She took a long breath from the thin, chilly air and stared into the massive valley below—forests, lakes, and, in the distance, a glimpse of lights from a nearby town. Everything looked natural and wild, where civilization had struggled to conquer. A sight she rarely saw outside the city walls. She found the scenery incredible. Worth the hellish adventurer across the Torness Mountain Range.
"Stay away from the edge," a Lat said. "We don't want to be spotted."
"Alright," Fraeya replied. She looked at the Lat, surprised at how he stood, defiant of the thin air and freezing temperature. "Are you not cold?"
"Of course, I am," the last warrior said as he returned to the camp. "Living away from civilization, you grow used to such conditions."
As the soldier left, she looked at the valley one last time before heading back toward the camp.
Fraeya saw nearly a hundred soldiers huddling their campfires for warmth, gathering supplies, or standing watch within the camp. They are known as the Palatini of Orias, one of the many Republic elite units within the legionary. They were hand-picked by the Legate for this mission.
As the young girl walked past the palatini, she could see the exhaustion from their mannerisms. Many looked hungry; others tired with dark, deep black bags under their eyes. Others shaking as their bodies adjusted to the night. To her confusion, she also could see the determination within their eyes as the environment was just an annoyance toward their objective.
She wouldn't blame them for their exhaustion as she could feel most of her body sore from the non-stop marching and climbing, she had to endure to get to this point. Something that her professors left out of their classes. A part of her couldn't help but chuckle from how she once thought after graduation from the academy that she was ready to face the challenges of their world. Only now did she understand how little schooling prepared her for the real world.
"What is so funny?" Another Lat said as she passed.
When she turned to the man, she felt a slim nerve of fear that ran through her body, believing that she might have insulted them. While most of them accepted her within the platini, she could tell they saw her as a weakling over a comrade. "I am sorry. I meant no insult. I was remembering my time at the academy."
The man turned back to his friend, commenting on her inexperience.
Fraeya felt sad as this was not her first failed interaction. For the better part of a week, Orias had escorted her and her father across some of the roughest terrains on Aldrida, taking great lengths to avoid enemy forces as their orders were to keep the two elves protected at all cost. As many men had stated, it was a near miracle that they made it this far without being noticed.
From what she understood, the commanding centurion hoped to reach the base of the mountain they were on by tonight. Such delays had become the norm; they had to delay their travels because of enemy patrols. They were hiding for hours because of J'avias' patrols from one of the nearby City-States. As they adventured deeper behind enemy-occupied territory, she expected this problem to worsen.
While the Hispana Republic's detachment for the expedition could have defeated them, the legionnaire leader, Centurion Fionntan Henness, did not want to risk exposing their unit to the enemy. He feared that if the J'avias or one of their puppet races could pass a message to the Unity's regional vassal, the Verliance Aristocracy, their mission would fail, and their last hope for victory would vanish. His superiors had invested in this last-ditch effort to turn the tide of the war to risk it on a small skirmisher with fewer soldiers.
Between the dozen campfires and the dark but illuminated sky lit by their mother Tekali, this side of the mountain range had perfectly trapped the cold air, something that Fraeya Holiadon was struggling to adapt to. As a Noble Elf, she was used to the warmth of the forest and the benefits of civilization from the continent's western side. Not the chill of the alpine.
Hearing a loud howl that echoed through the mountains, clearing coming from another party elsewhere within the area, Fraeya noticed her ride panicking. She quickly rushed over and slowly approached the beast once she got close.
"There, there," Fraeya whispered to her Deerip, a four-legged beast with three horns, light brown long hair fur, and red hoofs.
Noticing that these lands unsettled the beast, a feeling she could relate to, she rubbed the side of the Derrip's neck. Slowly and calmly whispering a song to it as the beast to calm down.
Once the beast was calm, Fraeya reached into her backpack and pulled out a bundle of grass to feed it. "I understand how you feel. This place leaves an unsettling chill down my spine, too. But you need to stay calm."
"If your beast is going to cause trouble, it will be wise to let it free," Henness said as he approached.
Looking at the centurion, Fraeya replied, "he is just startled. Deerips do not usually travel these lands. He needs to get used to being here."
Henness reached into his bag, pulling out a dark red amulet. He then tossed it into a fire pit. One of the other soldiers, a pyromancy battle mage, approached the hole and ignited it with a low-level fire spell. Unlike most red and orange flames, this fire was blackish purple, a type of flame known as dark fire by the commoners.
"Half-Elf, it took us over a week to get here through this dangerous path. These mountains are very unforgiving to wandering passengers, even to the Legion. We are deep behind enemy lines with no support. If Kallam vassals discover us, we will be slaughtered without mercy."
"That is if we are lucky," a Lat said as he sat beside the Dark Fire. "I heard stories of what happens to the prisoners that are handed over to them. I wouldn't subject my worst enemy to such a fate. Especially if a little girl got us caught."
Feeling frustrated and hearing the disrespect from the man's tone, she wanted to march over and warn Henness. While Lats could be civil and possess a strong warrior spirit, she is always surprised by how stubborn they could be.
"What is your issue, Lat? Fraeya asked. "I understand the risks. My father has been studying for this mission longer than you have been alive. I know what is at stake. This legend is our only hope in stopping them."
"Hope?" Henness asked while being unfazed by the young elf's aggressiveness. "The only reason the Legate sponsored this insane mission was that your father already got funds from a Kitsune archivist guild with a questionable reputation. They wanted to eliminate your father to focus on winning the war. They cannot afford to chase fairytales from time immemorial."
"Insane mission?" Fraeya boldly stated. "This quest is not insane, you…, damn Lat! It is the answer! We all know we cannot win the war. They are just too strong. I cannot believe how you, of all people, your kind, should believe in this."
"It is a fool's quest, Fraeya," Henness replied calmly, showing his military discipline. "Look at what we are doing." Allowing himself to collect his thoughts, he sat by the Dark Fire. "We are looking for an ancient relic, a Lat-Orc folktale that allows you to travel to another world. Hundreds of sages like your father have looked for this and other relics over the centuries. Even your father was proven wrong on this subject. There is a reason why the Guilds and his own people disowned his research."
The legend of an ancient relic from a lost age was an everyday fairytale throughout the continent of Aldrida. A Bridge that connected Alagore to the world known as Altaerrie. Her father discovered that each species and civilization had their own version of the legend over the millenniums. While the tales had many different versions, they all had the core idea - that all life was brought here by the Goddess Tekali.
In this quest to validate the legend, her father, Raegel Holiadon, dedicated his life to validating the myth and the truth of their people's past. While she did not know why her father was so passionate about searching for this truth, she knew that he believed it was the most crucial mystery of Alagore.
Considered a joke from the magical and sage guilds, Fraeya's father, Raegel Holiadon, was forced to conduct his research in isolation. Dozens of sages before him have searched for the truth and failed, falling into the same ousted fake from civilization. No one believed that this time would be any different. Because of his tenacity, he was banished to the fringes of the world to prove his theories. It was not until the Unity invaded Aldrida that he brought renewed interest to his work, not because of recent discoveries or because they suddenly believed in the legend but out of desperation to survive.
"It is different this time," Fraeya said. "If we could tale the sphere and-."
Henness cut Fraeya off, saying, "I am too tired to debate this right now. All that matters is that my Palatini was ordered to escort your party through these lands. I and the rest of my people will follow those orders to the end; I guarantee that. You shall not have to worry about our duty. I just hope this fool quest does not result in the death of my men."
Fraeya felt a deep urge to defend her father's work. As she approached, a Noble Elf stopped her, her father.
"Do not let your emotions get out of control," Raegel said.
"He called me a Half-Elf," Fraeya frustratedly replied. "And he insults my Deerip and questions your life's work."
"I know, I know, now let it go," Raegel said as he calmed his daughter. "It has been a long journey for all of us. Everyone is tired and is on nerve. Do not let an off comment grow into a wild vine."
She was hearing the wisdom from her father; she took a deep breath to calm her nerves, placing her hands together to relieve stress. The journey was long after leaving the great Hispana fortress of Nervia Glevensium. Unable to take the main highway between regions, crossing the Alps was the only way. Bypassing many Unity air patrols, Cities that pledge loyalty toward Kallem, and rouge monster hordes, she realized that her father was correct. "Okay, Father."
Seeing the warm smile from Fraeya's father, she followed him to their tent. Once settled, she wrapped herself in a blanket and sat by the fire.
She watched her father place one of those dark red amulets into a fire pit; that same battle mage shortly approached and activated it with the same low-level spell, igniting the amulet into Dark Fire. Unlike the natural red fire or the other magical types like green and blue, dark fire is used by soldiers and travelers to provide a heat source at night without attracting unwelcome guests. According to the sages, Dark Fire does not illuminate as brightly, so heat-seeking creatures and constructs cannot see the flames from distances. Perfect for behind-enemy-lines missions like this. However, it provided some warmth but could never match the red flame's natural heat.
Finally feeling some warmth, or at least as Fraeya's body wanted to believe, she turned to her father and asked, "Do you think this time it will work? Can we find this Bridge?"
"I know we will," Raegel replied as he checked their supplies. "I know that Lats can be a handful, trust me. I have been around them since my exile, but Henness is correct to be skeptical. You must understand normally that only a fool would undertake such a mission. A fool that I proved to be once or twice in my lifetime." He said with some laughter. Seeing a smile from his daughter, he continued, "But this time, it will be different."
Holding the blanket tight, Fraeya shook her head. "I don't understand, though. It is their people's legend, their story. Why wouldn't they be supportive of our mission? Especially if it is our last hope to stop the Unity."
"I am not a military man," Raegel said. "I never learned the art of war but put yourself in his boots. While you were at the academy and I conducted my research, these men have been fighting this war. Imagine all the battles, all the deaths of fallen brothers that they have witnessed time and time again. Last hopes are poison for soldiers, who have lost no matter what they do. It is their fault that the war has gone this badly, or at least I assume that is how they feel."
"But the legends," Fraeya stated again.
"Soldiers do not wage war based on legends," Raegel said. "While we believe in the legend, that does not mean they do. Thousands of years have passed and that is why they call them legends in the first place, my dear. Think about all our fellow elves' tales we have, and how many of our kind believe in them?"
Reflecting on what her father had said, she knew her people had many stories. Being one of the oldest civilizations on Aldrida, they have stories relating to dozens of topics, returning to orlilla. One of her favorite legends was how her kind were once flowers that sprouted legs. Some say that this was why the Noble race was so beautiful.
"You think that orb you found is the key to everything?" Fraeya said.
"I do," Raegel said. "Everything I have invested in up to this point has pointed to this moment. Whoever hid the Bridge did so to never be discovered by anyone. They hide it with magic beyond our means. That is why no one has ever found any trace of it. They were missing one piece of the puzzle, that orb."
Thrilled to see her father excited again, Fraeya cannot wait to see his dream finally coming to life. After all these decades of researching and traveling across the world to search for any clue, he eventually will be able to prove his life work was correct. He had toured Alagore for centuries, looking for clues, relics, ruins, and anything from the old era. A life work proved worthwhile.
As Fraeya stared at the Dark Fire, she asked, "What do you think this other world will be like?"
“I have no idea,” Raegel said. "I believe that this other world will be like ours. If the historical archives at Allsari and stories of old are true, then it is the world of the Lats…, Altaerrie."

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

I'm 31 years old, live in NJ. 5'9", 165 lbs (fit/athletic build) 3rd generation Chinese American (my family immigrated here in the 1900s). My family identifies as American as we tend to eat more pasta than rice and my generation has not learned the language. College educated with a Bachelor's in Biomedical Science (switched from an Engineering major...turns out I don't like theoretical math); currently working in the pharmaceutical industry and pretty much love the industry as there isn't any work drama and it's relatively straightforward yet challenging.
I've tried a few long distance relationships and they're quite difficult to manage...they were great when we able to meet in person and I didn't mind putting in the extra work. I'd be willing to try one if the distance is reasonable and the there is a definite spark between us. I am pretty sure I fit the definition of a demisexual, so I'll be strictly trying to form a connection first. I REALLY need the emotional connection before there is a sexual attraction, mentally I can't do hook ups (they're just really hard for me to handle and I have turned people down).
Personality wise I've been told that I tend to bring people together and keep things fun. I have a few different groups of friends and communities I am often with...and they can vary from the youngsters (21 to 30) to the old guys (60+) to the group that's around my age. I would say I'm pretty good at conversing and I try to stay on top of most current events. Mentally I'm an old man and feel more comfortable in that setting, so much that I literally hang out with 60+ years olds at the gym after a workout in the hot tub. I call them the hot tub gang and it's always a set of regulars where we might talk about the same thing every single day until someone newer to the group says that we talked about it yesterday.
I would say fitness is a major player in my life. I started out hating swimming as a kid, but here I am almost 27 years later...I made it through the lessons at the YMCA, joined a club team, swam in high school, swam in college and now I'm a swim coach and instructor as a hobby/side job in my free time. There's something about being a part of coaching people and watching them grow up and succeed that makes me smile.
My free time in the cold months usually consists of planning DIY projects or working on them. I tend to work on all the cars in the family and am the one that fixes them up or finds replacements for them. Or planning my next road trip to somewhere nicer. Whereas in the warm months I love going down to the beach to go for a swim and have a nice relaxing breakfast outdoors. I do have a few kayaks that I'll bring out to go with friends or if I feel it's safe a nice solo paddle to clear my mind. When I think about it, too many of my hobbies involve water. But I do enjoy things on dry land I promise!
I'm really looking for someone I can grow together with, a long term or forever relationship. I want a relationship where both of us put 100% in all the time and if we don't, we can talk to each other about our concerns and work it out. Honestly what I've realized is that maybe I am altruistic...I miss making someone feel happy and loved, miss the good morning texts, the waiting around all day just to see their texts, I miss spoiling someone and the feeling of that feeling of seeing that look that you get when someone truly loves you. I would love to slowly get to know you by having some conversations where the time just flies, then to a point where we talk nonstop, maybe some in person dates and then maybe eventually settle down together and enjoy life together.
Important stuff: Although I enjoy interacting with kids and it's a major part of my life...I don't want any of my own so...sorry if this is a dealbreaker for anyone. I don't drink (except for maybe wine at special occasions....I get really bad Asian Flush so I'll turn bright red if I smell alcohol essentially lol), not into smoking/drugs (Bad asthma and I'm just not into any of that stuff). I don't judge anyone that's into drinking or recreational drugs, it's just not for me personally. Religion wise, I'm Agnostic. Politically I lean relatively to the left.
I'm really searching for that genuine connection; voice calls are definitely a plus and would love to get to know you. It's alright if we end up just as friends that talk here and there.
If it sounds like you could be the one send me a chat or DM and tell me a bit about yourself. My name is Kevin and I'd love to know about you.

Alright well folks keep asking an update and I have been meaning to, things went smoothish for a bit, but then got more fucked up again and then fine and then fucked again just this morning so here I am. Using you all to make sense of it.
Edit: here's the original post, sorry
https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/comments/1clivwd/i_36m_surprised_wife_32f_by_coming_home_early/
For the days after we talked a lot, she was adamant she wanted nothing to do with him, has no feelings other than friendship and now that she was aware both (a) the possibility of him trying (it is true I or she still don't *know* his intentions) and (b) my reaction to her behavior (leaving out his presence later with her in text messages to me after carpooling/putting our kid to bed, trickle-truthing me on her view of his possible intentions), she said she "doesn't want anything to do with him. no, just no."
She offered up her phone if I wanted to see their conversations, she did the location sharing thing on her iPhone. Was pretty clear that this was all some bullshit and she hates that this situation ever became a thing. She was losing a friend but was more than willing to.
We set some boundaries.

1. People over late at the house, just let the other person know. Obviously family doesn't count. Just to avoid any possibility of any inference, better to let each other know who is in our house that late, 1 on 1.
2. For people who may we feel even have hints of intentions beyond platonic, we should overshare with each other. (thanks helpful commenter) Not overanalyze every relationship but just things like "Doc X said this today, kinda weird" or "new guy at foraging seemed to like me a lot". Stuff like that.

I don't want to be a controlling person, I'm not that person but maybe because of my history I require more openness and communication about things like that in a relationship. She told me I was being too worried about her feelings/me being controlling and that was more than willing to do anything it took to rebuild any trust that was broken from the situation.
2nd session of marriage counseling and obviously topic came up first. I started to give a brief history but got interrupted by our child upstairs, I gave them some attention and came back down to continue. When I got to the part of coming home, taking a shower and confronting my wife, I can't remember who said what, but it was interrupted, talking happened and then the therapist said "and it sounds like (wife name) recognized what had happened and your past". Wife said she didn't know how close/similar some of the details were and the conversation moved on from there. The omission of his presence in text messages, trickletruthing, none of that was brought up.
But things were looking up, not sure I like the therapist but whatever. Things seem to be good. She seemed fairly contrite though I really was still bothered by the red and orange flags planted in my little mind garden.
Fast forward, a week? Something like that.
I fucked up. I guess I'm glad I did but I did fuck up. I don't sleep much, 5 hours max. Was up early, garden tending, made breakfast for little one and coffee for her, usual. I saw her work bag on the floor and I saw her journal in there. And I fucked up and I read it. I wanted to know if he (the 21M) was in her journal.
For some context, I read the journals of my late partner, who died over a decade ago, and it was a stupid horrible mistake. I read things that I shouldn't have, very raw thoughts and feelings, pros and cons list of me. Shit like that. Then, entries about the other man and her falling in love with him. And her thoughts about her conflicted thoughts about leaving me. Near the end, if I recall, she didn't know, she loved us both but we were so different. I kept the journals, still have them somewhere, but I did burn those last pages about him. I do recall telling myself that I was protecting future me. I'm glad I burned those pages and I'm glad I kept her journals but I don't venture to read them anymore. I will again when I'm older, to keep her alive in me somehow I guess.
Anyways, when I saw her journals in the bags I just grabbed them and I read the latest couple pages. Innocuous stuff until I got to about a month ago.
It said: "Texted all night and hike Monday"
Now that wasn't me she texted with or hiked with on that day, that was with him. When she forgot to get her prescription.
So that meant two things to me:

1. Who writes "texted all night" in their journal with someone they don't have feelings about? I'm not a journaler person, I don't like my thoughts enough to put them to paper, but that doesn't seem right to me. No name but def him, the dates match. I don't know, again, I don't journal so maybe anything can mean anything in there but what the fuck.
2. She had planned on hiking with him. She didn't tell me that. She told me of her plans going hiking after work to pass the time before the pharmacy opens, but never told me that he was going too.

In fairness, she told me after she sent pictures of the hike to me and his dog was in the photos. But she didn't mentioned they had planned it together, seemed spontaneous but I never asked I guess.
So yeah, I stopped reading. Kinda felt like I was shot with an arrow. Pretty horrible feeling because I thought things were going to be okay but I now I read this shit.
It was like 6am at this point, so I went on a run to clear my head and get the adrenaline out. Some tears too. Got home and they were still sleeping, when they woke up and we were alone I asked her again if she ever developed any feeling at all for him. She said no. I told her I read her journal. I apologized but I told her I read something and I needed an explanation.
She wasn't happy. She told me those are personal, her thoughts and not for other people. She was also confused as to what I could have possibly read about him/the situation that need explaining. She asked me to show her the entry, I did.
[context, they work overnights together]
Her response was: "Oh yeah, we texted a lot that night. He wasn't working but I was. You know I wasn't home right? I was working that night."
I asked why it was in her journal? And why were you were planning to hike with him but when you told me about your plans for that day, you never mentioned you were planning it with him?"
She said "Well I didn't know for sure he would come, we were talking bout it but I didn't know for sure" and the texted all night part "didn't mean anything", that journals are fragments, not full thoughts and she was just writing it
I didn't like that answers at all honestly. We had another long discussion where she reassured me it meant nothing, that it shouldn't be interpreted as anything about her having feelings for him. I believe her. I don't know how she journals so maybe this isn't far out of the norm, I don't know.
Have to be honest here, the trust I had in her, a lot of it left. Which is pretty much the basis of a relationship. A lot of people sent me messages after my post with spy cams and shit. If I had to resort to that, I'd just end the relationship I thought. Now here I am snooping on her journals.
Two days later, kid and I go out camping at a park for a couple nights (she's working). Have a blast. During that time away I decide it's important to me to know what conversations took place between them. Yes I snooped, but I think it's reasonable, at this point, to demand to know just what types of things are said between them. She offered earlier, I just never took her up on it because it was really obvious to me, she felt she had nothing to hide.
But after this journal entry thing, yeah I would like to know what 'texted all night' means. I thought if the conversation that night is just bullshit, sure whatever. If it's more, or that night is deleted or something, then I'll know. I honestly expected to read the messages, be reassured of her side of the story and move on.
So we got home yesterday from camping. This morning I asked her if I could read their conversations. Explained why and without hesitation she said yes and went to get her phone. Gave it to me and I sat to start reading.
They had been texting recently, mostly innocuous mushroom stuff, then a one/ a couple attempts by him to come ovego out foraging. I guess he was going to around our area (he lives an hour away) cruising on his motorcycle and her response to him was, as close as I can recall was:
"not today not allowed to have anyone at home. lol"
Alright what the fuck
She saw my face and asked what was wrong. I put the phone down and said I don't want to read anymore.
I asked if she had told him about my view on their relationship, or what happened or anything about him/heI. She said no. I asked again. She said no, he has no clue, she never mentioned anything.
I showed her the text and asked her why she would say that.
Why would she say "no one was allowed" at home? People are allowed in my home, that wasn't any of the boundaries we set together. He's been here, clearly. And why would she say that to him if she never mentioned anything like that to him?
Her response was that she meant she wasn't having people ovewas busy. She then told me "you were home that day...I don't get it". Yeah I didn't read the dates of the text but even so, why the fuck would you word it that way? That's not even close to "no, I'm busy today" or literally any other million ways to say I'm not available today. I'm not allowed to have people at home is entirely different. lol is entirely different.
I cannot see how on earth you get from those words to that meaning she says she was trying to convey. Maybe I'm wrong. She said she didn't mean it that way it's not her mother tongue. To be fair, English is not her first language. She's quite fluent and has learned it from childhood but it's not her primary language. We've spoken exclusively English together for the ~decade I've known her. You wouldn't know it wasn't her primary talking to her unless you had a good ear. But she's right, maybe it just is a mistranslation. She said it was "clumsy" and not meant in any way to convey anything more than "I'm not available today".
We talked all morning until she went to bed. She reassured me she loves me and only me. I walked through every red flag, every opportunity for her to be honest an open. I asked why she didn't tell me about his recent attempts to meet up again?
She said she didn't know she should have told me. She said she didn't know she had to replay every conversation with him to me. I said she didn't, that's not what I was asking. But I was asking for her to be extra open about her relationship with him to me and him asking to come over, twice, definitely would require her letting me know.
I told her she didn't respect me at all. I told her she didn't care enough to tell me. I told her she's not being open and honest with me. That it's not me and her against the world, that this relationship is something else.
She reassured me it meant nothing but now that she sees how that text could be read that way (as if they had discussed him not being allowed in our home, she still denies), that she understands why I would react that way. She was frustrated, she said "it feels like a little fly came into my life and shit all over everything", referring to him and his advances as the cause of what fucked this all up.
I reiterated to her, every step along the way, in which she could have been truthful to me and decide to omit information.
Texting all night and planning the hike.
Staying over late after carpooling together, after our kid went to sleep, texting me and not mentioning he was still over.
Trickle-truthing me on whether she thinks he's interested in her.
His two offers to meet via text/messenger or whatever (that I saw, didn't look more) that she didn't think to tell me about.
And her reply of "not today not allowed to have anyone at home. lol" whatever the fuck that means.
Her position is still the same, that this is all the bad coincidences and misunderstandings, misreading texts or journal entires, etc. But she says she loves me, has only eyes for me and better understands now where I'm coming from.
So.. there's my little hell I've got for myself.
Personal therapy starting soon but I guess reddit therapy will do for now. It's somehow therapeutic to remember this and type it all out. Sorry, looking back this is insanely long, it's too long to proofread if shits garbled. Took me all day to write I guess.
Last post I felt very overwhelmed by the response, sorry I didn't respond to a lot of comments or questions or clarifications. I'll try to do better here, since this is probably the final time I'll use reddit as therapy.
Thanks in advance. I guess I should ask in this field of flags is there some green grass? I trust my wife. I did. When she tells me she loves me and only me, I'm convinced. Or is this all as fucked as the plain reading makes it seem? Because it does seem quite fucked.

I’m gonna lay out the whole context here, and it’s 2 years long so bear with me. A TL;DR isn’t really possible as there’s so much important context to whether or not IATA.
We’ve been married almost 10 years and she’s from overseas. She came here through our marriage. We were happy and doing extremely well for ourselves.
The problem started to 2 years ago. My friends wedding. Afterward we went out and then went to another friends house to continue partying. At the party one of the wedding guests started having a pity party about how he’s depressed because all these happy couples are around and he’s single.
For context. This guy is weird. He’s disrespectful to women, capitalizes on captive audiences (waitresses most often), and is overall a loser. He’s got a good job but that’s about it.
My wife, listens to his sob story and says “I have a sister!” and immediately starts FaceTiming her sister. This is something I’ve said isn’t okay. We’re not tinder, and we’re not matchmakers.
Beyond that her sister has a history of treating her poorly. She constantly told my wife she’s stupid growing up, well into adulthood. She blocked my wife for a whole year because my wife called her and told her not to go on boats with men she doesn’t know. Told my wife to live like she doesn’t have a sister. For a whole year I consoled my wife a couple times a week.
Anyways we were both drunk and with people so I’m not gonna start a fight right there. I figure I’ll talk to her about it maturely later. So I do. In the meantime, I switch to speaking Arabic with her sister and tell her this isn’t okay and isn’t what she wants.
Her and my wife to this day claim I was happy and supportive. They claim I was too drunk to remember. But there’s a few things wrong with this. I drove home, I take drinking and driving VERY seriously and would never, ever do it. In fact, if I know I’ve drank too much, I’ll hand my keys to a friend before the liquor starts hitting, just to avoid any possibility of making that bad decision.
Secondly, I switched to Arabic. I’m white. Arabic is a language I learned. When I speak it, I speak it very, very deliberately and remember the conversations perfectly. I know exactly what I said.
Anyways, when I talk to my wife later, I’m told how it’s wrong to prevent her from helping her sister and how her sister really likes this guy. A guy she talked to for 5 minutes. I told her it’s wrong to think of it as “helping” her sister in the first place and that her sister is a grown woman who can find her own partner.
So my wife says “okay I’ll tell my sister to stop talking to him”. That was the end of it. Or so I thought.
A few weeks later I’m at a different event and this guy let it slip they’re still talking. Immediately I’m upset and text my wife about how she lied to me.
She said her sister was really falling in love with this guy and separating them would be wrong. She said she did tell her sis to block him but when her sis went into a depression she told her she can unblock him and talk to him, behind my back.
Upset I told her we need to talk about going behind my back and how disrespectful of my boundaries this whole ordeal was. She said “it’s okay I’ll tell her to block him again”.
Over. Or so I thought for the next few months. A few months later I again am at an event with this guy and this time he’s smart enough to lie about them talking. But I’m a salesman and a bullshitter. You can’t bullshit me unless I trust you. I knew immediately he was lying but I let it go. I did ask my wife and she said no they’re not talking. So I believed her.
Well, a year and a half goes by. In that time her sister and her fought about how her sister could come to the US. We said we’d help her but it’s a lengthy process. At the time I had little animosity toward her sister and would’ve loved to see her come here and be near my wife again. She wasn’t happy with that and said it takes too long. This is her sister’s mindset.
Anyway. Her sister gets a B1 visa in the meantime, temporary business visitor and wants to come visit my wife. Lies through her teeth about her intentions to the immigration officer, telling them she wants to stay 90 days. They approve her for 60.
So we file for an extension ASAP so she can visit for 3 months. Staying with us the whole time. I wanted her to have fun on her visit so I arrange for my friends and I to go out. This guy shows up. She talked to him and told him our plans.
Immediately they disappear into the casino and come back holding hands and all kinds of PDA. I’m fuming because I know she’s a conniving word I won’t say here. I don’t say anything though and we go through the night and I let it go so I can have fun.
The next day he’s picking her up from my house and they’re out for the whole day. The next time my wife is off work, same story. Well, I thought you were here to visit her? And that’s where I put my foot down.
I got told it was wrong to try and control her, wrong to try and separate them, etc. etc. etc. Finally she blocks his number and he calls from a separate number. I turn off her SIM card because I’m not gonna support her going behind my back in my own home. He calls me and tells me he really loves her and just wishes I’d accept it.
I tell him very plainly I will never, ever accept it because it all stemmed from him, her, and my wife going behind my back. Primarily my wife, as she’s the only one of the three I should be able to trust is telling me the truth.
At this point, I feel as if my wife had an emotional affair, although it’s with her own family. She repeatedly chose to go behind my back, against a boundary I had told her repeatedly before this situation at my friend’s wedding after party ever transpired. If that’s not an emotional affair, I don’t know what is.
So I tell him bluntly to not call me anymore and I’m not going to change my stance, and his feelings don’t mean shit to me. He started to give me a sob story about how we’re friends and he I should be happy for him and I cut him off and told him to save his breath.
My wife is upset at me for how I talked to him. Another emotional affair. Trying to protect the feelings of this dude.
The next day, while my wife is at work I’m eating lunch at our dinner table and studying schoolwork her sister comes to the table and starts talking to me about this guy asking if I talked to him and I tell her plainly I did and what I told him.
She goes into a story about how she really loves him, she’s an adult woman and I shouldn’t be intervening etc. I told her I agree I shouldn’t ever have been involved and neither should my wife. I told her to save her breath with any talk of her feelings because I don’t care. She started crying telling me I’m cruel etc.
I told her at this point I’m done being nice. I’ve been lied to for 2 years and it’s over. I’m done being my laid back self and I’ve been pushed repeatedly and I’m standing up for my marriage and my boundaries.
I did turn her SIM card back on so she could call my wife and I, her hosts.
The next morning I wake up to my wife in tears calling me to her sisters room. Her sister is bawling her eyes out and packing her bags to go home. I talk her sister into coming for a car ride with my wife and I to talk things out.
Immediately in the car my wife starts berating her sister about how she’s selling her for a man and a whole host of other things. I calm my wife down and tell her that’s not okay to say to her sister. Because against what they thought I don’t want and would’ve never wanted this to cause a separation between them. I know how much my wife values family.
In the car her sister tells me she really loves this guy and that she can see them being a family one day etc. etc. etc. I tell her plainly don’t ever bring him around my house, if they do marry and have kids, don’t ever bring them around my house, and don’t consider me her brother in law because I will never do anything for her again after she goes home.
My wife is shocked, she’s shocked and they both wonder how I could be so cruel. I said I’m over it. I’m over hearing about this guy, I’m over being used, and I will never again trust her. She said she understands and resumes talking to this guy.
A few days later we’re in the car going to a family event with my family and I get asked if he can come. I said no, very politely. I said no, he’s not part of my family. I was told how terrible I am, and my wife and her sister both jump out of my car in a bad part of Chicago, an area neither of them know.
My wife calls my family and tells them I kicked them out of the car. So my family starts blowing up my phone screaming at me. Once I explained the situation my family said they’ll come pick them up but I hung around and kept driving by to make sure they were okay. Eventually my wife calls me and says they’ll get in.
So I pull over and they open the doors and my wife goes “I’m scared I don’t feel comfortable getting in the car with you”. So I drive away pissed off. This is a 85,000 car in a bad part of the city where carjackings happen every other day.
I go park somewhere but keep an eye on them to make sure they stay safe. A homeless guy passed them and my wife calls me to come get her. So I do and we go home.
Again her sister packs her shit and cries that she’s going home. I tell her to relax, sleep on it and we’ll talk in the morning. She does eventually and in the morning she decides she’ll stay.
A week goes by and I hear nothing about this guy from her. My friends and I all joked about him and made light fun of him. He caught wind of it and cried to my wife’s sister who told my wife, who came to me and aggressively told me to stop and leave them both alone. I got pissed off because this was a private convo between me and my friends and if he heard it and got his feelings hurt it’s on him.
This spiraled into a huge argument with me, my wife, and her sister. In the argument I asked her sister plainly if she planned to leave at the 90 day mark. She said no.
So I kicked her out of our house. Her and my wife went for a walk and I yelled out the front door to get her shit to the curb before the walk before I do, because if she doesn’t do it herself it’ll be thrown on the wet ground. They both thought I was joking before then I assume. Her sister comes in and packs her stuff and gets out. I said if you plan on staying here illegally it won’t be in my house. If the choose is between here or the streets, it’ll be the streets.
She went to stay with the boyfriend and his parents. His parents must not have liked her too much because within a couple weeks they made them both move out.
This was in January of this year.
Since then, I’ve been repeatedly goaded into accepting this. My wife has tried to get me to visit her sister, etc.
It came to a head recently at a wedding we went to for another friend. Her sister and this guy were there. I didn’t say a word to either one the entire night and all was fine.
Except my wife spent the whole night at their table because he wouldn’t dance or do anything to have fun. She can’t handle the idea that her sister might find something she doesn’t like about this guy. She has to be there just in case the relationship goes on life support.
This pisses me off, obviously. She’s more invested in their relationship than she’s been in ours for the past 2 years. Grown adults.
Well, today she was going to her sisters house. She had 2 bags. An ulta bag and a discovery bag. I asked what that is, and she said it’s for her sister. She pulled out taco shells and said it’s just small stuff she wants her to try. But I could see through the bag and saw beauty products. I’m not an idiot.
I looked in when she went to the bathroom and saw a fucking armoire full of shit. I looked at the receipt. $300. I was fucking livid.
I continued getting ready for work and said “her husband can’t buy her that?”. It’s confrontational, yes. But I said it politely, and was open to talking about it.
I get met with immediately hostility. I never raised my voice but I made it very clear I wasn’t being nice about this or anything anymore.
I told her “maybe she could pay you back and find you a new husband”. I’m going to give her a choice. Me or her sister now. Because this has gotten fucking ridiculous.
We pay for her to come here. She hired an immigration lawyer apparently, but doesn’t have money to pay me back for the flight or even pay for the Ubers they take or anything. My wife is trying to make up for this losers shortcomings. He’s too much of an idiot to see that her sister is using him.
By the way, this isn’t her first fiance. It’s not even her first western fiance. She’s been engaged to at least 3 different guys. One from France, another from Belgium, and a third from Canada before this guy. She was looking to immigrate. He’s a fucking idiot though so, oh well.
My wife’s sister is very materialistic. My wife is fortunately down to earth but is so far up her sisters ass because she thinks if she doesn’t do everything her sister wants that her sister will cut her from her life again. Which is exactly what would happen.
I told her that’s on her sister. I’m not asking her to never talk to her sister. I’m asking her to stop treating her sister like she’s a child and putting their relationship before ours. Stop bending over backwards for a grown woman who will throw you away the moment you’re inconvenient.
But it’ll never happen it seems and it’s the reason I’m strongly considering divorcing her. I’m over this fucking shit. Oh, and by the way, my wife claims that she’s scared of me etc. now when she tells the story to other people.
I have never and would never hit my wife. I’ve never given her any reason to be afraid of me. So to put that out there on me is absolutely fucking bullshit and I’ve lost all trust in her.
AITAH?

~First~
Cats, Cops and C4
The Erumenta woman tries to fight even as he forces her into the cell, her natural fire flaring hot enough for his clothing to smoulder and him to mentally congratulate himself for his Undaunted Brand. It’s literally saved his fingers multiple times today.
Marlintine Spire is like many of the spires of Centris still reeling from the massive scan. Sure it had been legal, and both Living Goddesses upon the world had told everyone to calm down in their own way. But just because something is legal and endorsed by powerful figures does not make it a popular move.
“You burn any of your fellow prisoners while you’re in there and you’re getting a suppression collar.” He tells the obstinate criminal as he shoves her into the holding cell and slams the bars shut. The forcefields supplementing the metal bars flickers into place and the blast of flame she aimed at his face splashes against it without further effect. “Cute, keep it up and we won’t need a court hearing to upgrade you to a real prison.”
“He’s being serious. Stripper boy is playing at being a serious police officer.” Another criminal mocks and is subsequently ignored as Chenk leaves the area. He has other things to do.
“Ma’am.” He greets Chief Bowman as he slips by to head back out.
“Hold it human. I know your kind are endurance monsters, but you need to sit the hell down. You’ve been dragging in cult soldiers for six and a half hours straight. Your legal overtime ended a half hour ago.”
“Then keep a cell open for me as I keep bringing in more people. This needs to be quelled.” Chenk says and as he turns to keep going she grabs his belt and pulls him back.
“You need to rest.”
“The Spire is in the middle of a borderline insurrection. I can rest when it’s...” He begins to say before a sudden movement to his right makes his head snap around. Just before Vera the Takra-Takra crashes into him.
“Thanks for stalling him out Chief! Come on you goofy human!” Vera announces as she drags him down the hallway and into Linda’s Office. She tosses him onto the couch and then pounces onto him and pins him.
“Really?” Chenk asks.
“Yes really. You need to calm down. And I found a way to force it.” Linda states.
“But the Spire is...”
“You are one officer. Supersoldier on loan to the station or not, you’re still only one officer. The structural integrity of this spire only depends upon you when there’s a bomb threat and even then, only when it’s a chemical bomb.” Linda tells him. “Or do we have to restrict you to only being called out during a bomb threat?”
“No.” He says. “But people are still getting hurt and...”
“And they're the ones hurting themselves. Just please calm down. I know you’re skilled, but your sense of justice is just going to hurt you at this rate. Don’t want to leave a bad example for Amy now do you?” Linda teases him and Chenk groans in frustration.
“... I really should have thought things through before growing attached to that girl.”
“Oh probably, but it was adorable to see. The world crashing down on a poor little girl in over her head and then Officer Hero, Supersoldier from the blackest void of the galaxy flies in to save her.” Vera teases.
“Still, him being a supersoildier is a bit of a problem right now. Big man needs a mission, or he’s going to go nuts!” Linda notes. “Luckily! I called one of your friends on the ship. Soldier, you’re in position to requre a talking to from The Observer. However, the call is on hold, but you need to be here when it goes off.”
“That’s a dirty trick.” Chenk notes even as an Undaunted communicator is tossed at him and he catches it. It’s activated, it’s in a waiting queue and there’s no way he can go into the field now if he’s waiting for an official answer. “Very dirty.”
“Good thinking!” Vera compliments as she cuddles closer to her pinned target. Her hair spikes out in sudden shock as The Communicator then goes off to signify the call has gone through. “I jinxed it!”
“Specialist Chenk Barnabas sir!” Chenk answers the call instantly as he sits up and Vera scurries off him.
“Really? I put him on that waiting list to get him to calm down and stop working.”
“Specialist Barnabas, I’m one of numerous individuals filtering the sheer number of incoming calls to The Inevitable. You’re in the proper queue now, please state what you have been doing as a member of The Undaunted so that Observer Wu can better decide who to speak with.”
“I’m on loan to one of Marlintine Spire’s major police stations. Due to the overpopulation of Centris this means I have been acting as elite law enforcement over a population that exceeds that of many of earth’s countries.”
“I see, anything in particular that you’re doing?”
“I’m a chemical expert and accredited detective at this rate. I am the go to specialist for law enforcement when it comes to chemical explosives for a full ten percent of Centris Police Departments.”
“Any particularly interesting cases you’ve been assigned to?”
“Yes, one that is still being debated in court by none other than The Trytite Lady. It involves cloning, murder, mercenaries, numerous criminal gangs and a great deal of more nonsense such as massive prison breaks, fighting robots and Axiom effects so dangerous that even speaking about them in anything more than the most broad and general of terms on an open frequency is a punishable offence.”
“So you have seen a fair amount of what has occurred in the galaxy.”
“I’ve seen enough that I’m going to be very hard to surprise or overwhelm any longer.” Chenk says.
“Very good. I’ll just note this down. The Galaxy is absolutely insane, I’ve been fielding calls from people with like nine heads all speaking in concert and god damn lobster people and more...”
“That’s reality for you.” Chenk replies. “Always more absurd than it should be.”
“Indeed, stand by. I’m putting you into the next proper queue. It shouldn’t be more than a minute or two long.” The Assistant states and then the call shifts to simply display that he’s fourth in the queue now.
“Hunh. Faster and somehow slower than expected at the same time.” Chenk says even as Vera leans against him.
“Even when you take a break you’re still working.”
“You didn’t complain about me being an endurance monster when I planted this in you.” He says gently patting her growing stomach and she pushes him a bit in protest.
“Problem with getting the super-babies of doom is the wait for the baby.” Vera complains and he chuckles before the communicator activates again. He puts it in broadcast mode as Linda leaves her desk to sit next to him for support.
“Observer Wu I take it?” Chenk asks the Asian man who nods.
“And you are Officer and Operative Barnabas. The little summary in front of your call has my attention. Tell me, how are laws generally handled in the Centris space.”
“Centris is a massively overpopulated planet consisting of Spires and Plates. The Spires are the massive multi tiered towers that have two hundred levels each and each level holds enough people to populate any major city on Earth with ease. The lower the level on the spire the less funding, infrastructure and support it has with the bottom ten generally considered a universal slum or no man’s land. Law enforcement in those areas is nigh on impossible and the air itself has been described as thick and fetid. No natural light reaches those areas either.”
“And higher up?”
“Increasing amounts of wealth and support. To such a degree that the plates, which form an artificial ring around Centris are of such high quality that their most squalid and desperate places are at roughly the same standard of living as the middle fifty floors of a well off Spire. As you can imagine, policing all this is an outright herculean effort and every station, no matter how well funded, armed or endorsed is simply inadequate for the task.”
“What sort of crimes have you witnessed?”
“I’ve stopped terrorist conspiracies, torn down drug labs, found myself between assassins and their targets, I’ve stood in the middle of gang wars commanding people to stand down, I have tackled muggers, murderers and maniacs alike into walls and cuffed them. Not even twenty minutes ago I dragged a criminal who could light fires with her will alone into a cell, my jacket is still singed from it.”
“So the world is rife with criminality.”
“No more than any other place, there’s just so many people crammed in here that it’s constant, and that’s without the recent provocation that every single criminal organization received more or less simultaneously. Generally for every single idiot that needs a police officer to remind them why good behaviour is a good idea, there’s an entire bus full of people that didn’t even consider breaking the law.” Chenk explains.
“But when they truly commit crimes they don’t stop do they?”
“No, more resources, technology and Axiom means that if someone wants to break the rules they can break the very concept of rules. The last major case I was in before this flashfire of criminality was kicked off involved the sanctity of body and mind being shattered for the sake of mere greed by a figure so underworld infamous that for a chance to get either evidence on the person in question or ingratiate themselves to them we had an all out war break out in the station. One that if not for a quick trick, we would have lost.”
“And the trick was?”
“Switching out the prize for a disguised tracking beacon.” Chenk says and Observer Wu nods appreciatively. “I can’t credit on that though, it was The Private Stream that did that.”
“I haven’t had that fully explained to me. What is THE Private Stream?”
“I’m not the best person to explain it, but a quick summary is that it’s a shared persona for low profile work. Operative Jameson is the founder and original Private Stream, a persona that lets him go around while heavily armed and armoured while arousing no suspicion.”
Vera snorts in amusement. “Arousing... lot of girls find the aw shucks innocent routine to be arousing.”
Chenk slowly urns to her. “What?”
“You know what.”
“Maybe I don’t!”
“Maybe you do.”
“Could we focus please?” Observer Wu asks. “Now, as an Officer, are there any laws that you would find concerning about humans?”
“Yes, they’re usually location dependant thankfully. So the issue can be avoided. Furthermore there’s a lot of leeway given in laws where the traits of a species would make following the law difficult if not impossible. For example a human can generally get away carrying substances that are considered highly toxic or dangerous due to the fact that our diets contain what many people in the galaxy are nothing more than hard core poisons.”
“Hmm... Could you be more specific?”
“Well, this one won’t apply to you due to an amendment that Admiral Cistern was able to get allies to help him push through, but one of the most popular religions the galaxy over is the Gravid Faith, it has numerous denominations and variants and several of them create what’s called Arrangement Systems where men are required by law to have a hundred wives.”
“And the amendment is?”
“That if you are gainfully employed by governmental or military forces that you are exempt from the law so long as you remained employed in such a manner. You Observer Wu are the eyes of hundreds of Earth Nations meaning a government employee.” Chenk explains and he nods.
“I see. Any other exemptions?”
“Generally the Galaxy looks down on kinetic weaponry, so when it was pushed that humans wear weapons and cultural garb it was allowed through without issue. So humans are legally allowed to carry weapons like knives and pistols at almost all time without question. It’s... rather stupid in my opinion, but well it would be even more foolish for me to complain about something I’m outright benefiting from.”
“Hmm... any other laws?”
“They very much vary by location. Which are further influenced by the species of the residents, local culture, religion, political association, economic status. The name of the game is jurisdiction issues here on Centris. The local police departments all help one another, but always at the invite of the local officers who can actually confirm if what’s taking place is a crime or not in the local area.”
“Can you give an example of this working against things?”
“Alright, the easiest example is with drugs. There is no agreed on way to combat the spread of illegal narcotics. Some make the growing of the plants that produce what you want illegal. Others make the refinement of it’s fruit illegal and some make the selling of the drug illegal. So you can produce it all on the third Spire and sell it on the first two legally. You can grow the plant on the second and third spire legally, refine it on the first and third legally and that way you have a massive multi-jurisdiction drug running operation without technically breaking any law.”
“Hmm... that is a great deal to consider. I presume other such crimes can operate the same way?”
“Unfortunately yes. But that’s the problem with laws, you need to set where the boundaries are, but not make people prisoners in their own homes. There’s always a loophole.”
“Tragically yes.” Observer Wu remarks. “Now, I do need to speak to the others, but I have a few moments more. Who and what are you sitting near. The vaguely catlike woman on your right and the... generally human looking woman on your left are?”
“Linda is to my left. Partner and wife, the first actual police officer of us three. Vera is to my right. Wandering Warrior and wife. Linda is a Tret woman, they’re best considered to be humans if we evolved with Axiom helping us, a sister species to our own people. Vera is a Takra-Takra, she and her kind can shapeshift into the ferocious Warform and use it in battle. They pride their skill as Warriors and seek out stronger mates to empower the next generation.” Chenk explains before tiltiing the view down a little to show the pregnant stomach on Vera. “A work in progress.”
“I see. Congratulations. Although compared to many other Undaunted you seem a little behind.”
“I wasn’t aware it was a race.”
“Which is exactly how you lose the race!” Vera says in an amused tone.
“Indeed. Every conversation leads me to believe that I need to take an entire university degree in order to understand things. Thankfully your own is rather straight forward.”
“Really? Who are you speaking with next?”
“I haven't decided yet, but I need to speak with everyone in some way.” Observer Wu states.
“Good luck sir, I think you’ll need it.” Chenk says.
“Excuse me, is there a way to get a human to calm down and take a break? Ever since Centris was Scanned and hidden societies were exposed all over Chenk has refused to stop working. Is there any way to just get him to take a break?” Linda asks.
“It generally varies from person to person. But I would suggest guilting him. Emotional blackmail is a powerful tool.” Observer Wu says with a slight smirk.
“Traitor!” Chenk declares and there’s a chuckle from The Observer.
“Indeed. I’m afraid this call needs to finish now. Best of luck.” Observer Wu says before the call ends.
“So... we need to guilt you then? Okay!” Vera exclaims before her eyes start to water. “Don’t you wanna be there for the baby? Doesn’t she deserve a daddy?”
“Oh my god woman!”
~First~ Last

My boss "jim" and I don't have a natural chemistry. We constantly miscommunication. Like we both speak two different languages.
If we met one another outside of work. We would never be friends just bc our personalities are so different. My personality is too "big". I'm professional but I get very excited about new ideas and projects and I love working hard and what's worse - I'm enthusiastic about working hard.
He is very introverted. And just has the opposite demeanor.
I recognized early enough on that I should scale myself back with him and that less was more.
But no matter what I do - I'm always doing it wrong or I'm doing the wrong thing according to him. I have a lot of experience and I'm smart. And I always thought that my personality may not be for him but we worked well together bc we respected the others one intelligence and experience very.
But it finally landed with me - - I realized that he not only doesn't like me, he thinks I'm stupid.
For months, he already vehemently disagrees with anything I say. No matter what I say or how I say it. He never supports anything I saY or tell staff. And contradicts me with staff and has been wrong for it. He seems to be happiest when he knows I am doing menial work. I have to keep and projects I have secret. If he finds out that I am doing anything that involves using brain cells, he will assign it our from me to someone else.
And it's so hurtful but today was a real bad day as far as his open display of his contempt for me goes. All the following happened today:

1. This morning, he sent an updated staff assignment sheet showing who should contact staff for what area of.concern. he asked us all to review it b4 he published it on the intranet. He had at least 15'-20 items listed for each team member. My name was at the very bottom. Be had two items listed. He sent me a note and told me I should add more responsibilities of mine if I could think of any.
   
2. I received a salesforce question from staff. Salesforce isn't my area, so I pinged both him and my colleague who manages it to communicate it. Denise responds with an answer to the inquiry. And I thanked her. Then my boss wrote "that's an excellent approach, denise!" And it's not that he complimented her. It's that it took him complimenting her to make me realize in that moment that he has never said one nice thing to me about anything I do in the workplace.
   
3. Yesterday, Our sales team sent he and I a fairly standard support request with a non standard caveat. I responded and indicated that I could not immediately comply with the request without confirming that what they wanted wasn't a compliance violation. He replied all and said it was fine and to do it. I really struggled and ultimately decided - without consulting him - to email our CIO and legal and I CCed him and I relayed the request and relayed the concern I had. And without naming names I said I was being pushed to perform an action that I was not comfortable performing until I knew that action was compliant. Today, The 4 of us had to get on a call. I was told I was really smart for contacting them and that it wasn't compliant and good catch on my end. Jim didn't acknowledge any part of the conversation one way or another. He just said he would talk to sales.
   
4. Our team has our first stand up call as part of a new meeting series. It's a 3 min round Robin where we all go thru and quickly update the team on what we are doing. Ive been coaching denise on product implementation (unbeknownst to jim). I recently led a project of hers (in secret) while educating her on the why behind the scenes so she wouldnt need me for her next project. I directed her every action item. I provided guidance, support, timlines. Today she announced the close of the project. Jim was ecstatic and singing her praises. She looked so uncomfortavle. She repeatedly credited me with mentoring her. He would not acknowledge any claim of hers to give me credit. there was 6 minutes left on the call by the time it got to me (I was last). I ran thru my current tasks super quick.
   
5. Our weekly 1:1 meeting was next. He was20 minutes late. I was very eager to show him something I had spent weeks working on (bc I do care about the work. And I love working. I can hide my enthusiasm but it shows in my work. Multiple industry pros who I have worked with in the past have praised my project plans and audits and other efforts as "the gold standard." Our company was late to adopting agile methodology. I am an agile pro. He's been dragging his feet on committing to it but it's a directive from higher up. Today, I presented him with the "skeleton'" if you will of our teams roadmap. I built everything for him - just the bones, the automation. I added my own work to it aa a demo. The outline that all he would have to do is fill in. This was something that would have taken him hours of time to do if he had attempted building it himself. Which is why he kept putting it off.
   Before presenting these boards to him, colleagues from different departments had stumbled upon them and asked me if they could clone my work over to their own workspace and did I have any mgmt tips for them. I did not share this with him. I'm not a bragger but I do take great pride in my work. I low key worked on our boards outside of office hours. I was determined that this would finally win him over. Bc I've never quite understood how he treats me. My personality isn't for everyone, I know that. And I'm not perfect. I've contributed to miscommunications between us before. But I've tried really hard to be what he needs me to be in this organization in my role. And today I was going to do it. I was determined it was going to be our watershed moment. I proudly unveiled my boards. He waved them off. Made a remark that he thought it was so interesting to see what people got passionate about in the workplace. That he thinks it's funny that they usually think they're helping the organization when they are really making it all about themselves. He then throws in "and I say that in the nicest way possible." He then told me I had talked for way too long on our stand up call. He said I had to dial it way back next week. That the entire team did not have time to sit there and listen me ramble.
   

And I've been sitting here sobbing ever since. That pushed me over the age. Normally I can shake it off, I can separate, I like myself, I know I work hard, I know that I am smart. So I am pretty quick to let go of all the ways he chooses to diminish me on a fairly regular basis. But this was alot of hits to take in one day. I'm embarrassed to admit that he really took the wind out of my sails today. And I feel so stupid. I feel so fucking stupid. And I just want to quit. I don't want to work here anymore. This feels awful. And everyone loves him. He's every employees favorite guy. He is universally beloved at my company. So surely I must be the problem, right? And we ve talked about our miscommunication and I've done everything I can but I guess I just rub him the wrong way. I am always either not doing enough, doing roo much, or I'm doing the wrong thing. And I just needed someplace to vent while I cried my eyes out.
Tl; DR: boss is really mean to me, today he made me cry, I need to make a plan to quit

Olá! It's me! I'm Rickle Pick! Hello everyone!
So, I’ve been listening to some stories about Neckbeards and Kevins, as well as some Legbeards and Kevinas (Is that the correct term??). Well, most of the times I listen to those stories, I am reminded of some people I used to deal with in school. Specifically, this time, the tale of a guy, who I’ll name Roger Bacon for reasons soon to be explained. Sorry for any grammar errors, eu falo português! I also don't really know the posting rules here, so I'll just post it and see how it goes lol
This prologue is more of a compilation of stories that I think is needed before we get to the main shenanigans and awkward situations this guy put himself AND me into. If this generates any interest, I will post more specific tales of this weirdo! Long time lurker, first time poster, english is definitely not my first language and the whole shebang. I also never wrote a text this large, so go easy on me!
THE LIST:
Well, I guess it’s usual to make a list of people that appear in those stories, so I’ll make one just for you!
Me: Your basic musician-type nerdy theater kid white guy! Tall, thin with medium-light brown hair. At the time, I usually wore a leather jacket and sometimes a hat (not a fedora, a Chaplin hat. Also, where I live, hats are an acceptable attire choice lol). I kinda looked like the Once-ler from Lorax. At this time, I had just failed my second year of high school because of… honestly just lack of effort, mixed with undiagnosed ADHD and a bit of lacking in the ol’ confidence and self-respect department. At the time, I also was physically incapable of saying no and had a crippling fear of disappointing people.
Roger Bacon: 168 centimeters (or 5,5ft for the uncivilized) of pure muscle! Or at least he thought it was that way. In reality, he did have some muscles but was kinda chubby and flaccid. Not FAT fat, but athletic fat (???). He was mixed, light skinned, had shaved short curly hair, no beard (except for the inside beard) and his face was a special kind of oval, besides having a, "chiseled jaw". He always smelled like he had just gotten out of a day-long brawl with a french cologne wearing burrito. He wasn't an usual neckbeard, but he was a huge attention whore. Thought too much of himself, as we say here in Brazil: “Promised too much, delivered nothing at all.” His moto was: “Dude, I think she’s into me!”
For now, these are the characters, as the focus is to introduce you all to Roger Bacon as a person.
With the list over, let us get to the story.
FEBUARY 2018:
The year of 2018 started pretty badly for me. I had just been held back from 10th grade, had no friends and didn’t really know anyone. As most people know, high school in Brazil is quite different from America, as we start school in febuary and we share the same class with the same people all day, excluding language classes and extra-curriculum activities. This meant that, for the foreseeable future, I was alone. On the first day of school, I shyly sat on the last desk on the far right corner of the room, as I scanned my classroom to see what I was dealing with. A few groups of people sitting together, talking and greeting their friends, some loners reading or playing on their phones. The artsy girl drawing a beauriful woman on the white board. Some guy drawing a penis right beside her. Perfect balance. A normal classroom.
Another difference between our school systems is that we don’t really have clicks based on like Jocks or Nerds or Pretty Girls, it’s mostly people who connected in childhood or matched personalities, instead of connecting through roles and interests within the school. Not saying either one is better, just different. And yeah, the bullying situation is just as bad. I was bullied for my whole middle school and through first year of high school, and made a very specific group of low profile friends. So when I failed sophomore year I thought to myself “Screw it, if I’m going to be held back, that’s at least a second chance for me to grow an acceptable social life.”
All this elucidates how intimidating it could be for someone to join a new classroom full of mostly new faces. If you were unable to make a friend, you’d pretty much be on your own for the whole year unless an already formed group “adopted” you. So my mindset was to at least try and meet new people.
Well, have you ever said “I’m gonna do this thing I’ve never done before!” And got the worst possible circunstance you could get at the very first attempt? Welp, that’s just what happened. My strategy was to start small, and go talk to only one person at first, and then try to interact with a few of the groups as that was a bit intimidating (fun fact: we call “clicks “panelinhas”, spelled “pah-neh-lin-ias”, wich means “little pans”, because, you know, they’re closed groups, like a closed… pan. Idk, anyway), so I went up to this guy in front of me, and that guy was Roger Bacon.
He was almost lying on his chair, on a cool guy pose while messing around on his phone. He was also wearing a black sports tank top with a grey opened sweatshirt and the standard uniform wine-red shorts that were mandatory in our school, which made him look like a short and jelly version of Rocky balboa mixed with Kick Buttowski.
In real life, my name and his started with sequential letters, and because of this, we would sit near each other for the whole year, so I guessed he’d be the best person to interact with. I also KINDA knew him because we had basketball training after class in like 2015 and I went to the same church as him, in which I befriended his brother, Kevin, slightly, but didn’t have much contact with him because he had already graduated (I have some stories about basketball and church so tell me if yall wanna read them lol). I approached and gestured for him to take of his headphones (They were extremely loud, so I could recognize he was listening to the song In The End by Linkin Park).
Me: Hey! Aren’t you Roger? You’re Kevin’s brother, right?
RB, trying to sound stoic: “Oh, hey Rick. Yeah, it’s me… fortunately for you.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
RB explained: “Well, I’m the cool brother! Kevin was lame, and also had no friends.”
Me: “Isn’t he in a band with [insert band members]? They seem to be his friends…
RB: “They might look nice, but they’re all assholes. Don’t let them fool you! I’m the nice brother, Kevin is a dipshit.
To elucidate you: that band he said was made of assholes was the Worship band of the church we went to. It was also the worship band that I occasionally played the piano with.
I said, jokingly: “Guess I’m an asshole then! Because, ya know, I play with them more often than not”
RB: “No man, it’s just them. They’re just so infuriating! They never let me participate!”
Me: “Wow, that’s weird… I mean, I didn’t know you were a musician too! What instrument do you play?”
RB: “I play the drums, piano, guitar, bass and I also sing. But Kevin keeps me out because he wants to be the 'star brother'!”
I could tell he got a little heated, and went silent for a little while. I decided not to mention the band or his brother in his presence, 'cause ya know, that was pretty awkward lol.
I remember thinking to myself “This guy’s kinda weird”, because his brother was one of the nicest people I had ever known, and he also didn’t have the say on who played on the band, the worship leader did. I thought about confronting Roger with this, but I didn’t want to abandon my quest of finding a friend. And also, he seemed chill at first, if not a little insecure.
I was a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation, so I opted to change the subject. We talked a bit more about me having been held back, and he went on about how he was really good at math and chemistry, and how he could help me with my school stuff.
I was glad to have someone to help me, and even more, someone who apparently liked the stuff I liked. I remembered what he was listening to, so I commented on it and asked which song was his favorite, and we talked about Linkin Park for a bit. He said “In The End” was his favorite song, and then I mentioned I was a huge Linkin Park fan. He told me he was a big fan as well, but as we talked about it, it became a bit fishy. He never specifically said anything and just kinda repeated what I said. It became clear after a while that “In The End” was, in fact, virtually the only song he knew from that band.
That was the first time I noticed something strange, but only in hindsight, as at the time I just thought he really wanted to make a human connection. I remember thinking he was just excited to know someone who was open to talking to him, so I didn’t think anything of it.
Also, not everyone memorizes this stuff, and maybe he did only remember one song, for whatever reason, so I let that pass. I only felt necessary to include this information because it was, at least in some way, the first lie that Roger told me, a little sample, if you will, of what’s to come.
After we talked for a while, mostly catching up on our lives, the bell rung and our first actual class had begun, and I had the first-hand experience of this guy’s sense of humor. The teacher walked into the classroom and introduced himself as the new Geography teacher, and started a power point presentation about some of the subjects we’d be covering that year, saying “Please pay attention to this class, as you’ll need to know how our schedule will work”. Roger looked back and said “Huh, I guess this class is useless for you then, being held back and all, hahah”, which made everyone look at me and just kinda stare like I should say something, and he kept repeating the joke to anyone that showed any reaction besides just staring, adding “Amirite? Huh? Amirite?”.
I was kinda salty about this, but my people pleasing peapod brain couldn’t handle letting it show, so I just laughed and said nothing. I guessed it was a poorly thought out joke at first, but then Roger proceeded to make the same comment on every single one of the opening classes we had for both of the introductory days. There were 12 of them. He did it every time. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes he repeated it even louder, as if he didn’t think people heard it, because no-one was laughing.
“Ok”, I said to myself, “He didn’t mean to make fun of me, he’s just a little overexcited and probably is trying to make a connection and help me get acquainted to our classmates.”
Either way, I was very uncomfortable and annoyed.
Thankfully, this came to a halt when he was practically thrown out of the Literature class for interrupting the teacher mid-sentence while she talked about how important the first month of class would be for our comprehension of the whole subject. He made the joke four times. FOUR TIMES. I was beginning to think that I made a mistake, but well, the mistake was already made, at least I can try and understand him a bit, before judging.
The rest of the week went by and he didn’t get any better, but I got kinda used to it. In fact, I actually enjoyed having conversations with him at recess, when we could talk a bit more freely. And, as all things in life tend to do, it got weirder. Weirder in the sense that as we spoke more and more, I noticed a bit of a concerning pattern: every time I shared an experience I had, he’d share a cooler and more awesome almost equal experience back.
Some light examples:
I told him I went hiking for 2-3 kilometers on a trail by the beach. Then he smirked and said he went hiking for “at least 7 kilometers on a deserted beach that only his father’s company’s employees had access to and he saw a Gorilla. There are no gorillas in Brazil. Maybe in zoos, I guess, but definitely no gorillas.
I told him I was kinda sad because I had just ended a “thing” with a girl from my old grade. He “proudly” said he’s been dumped by his ex, Laura, after they dated for 11 months and made out aaaallll the time after school, and he even saw her “lady parts” once!”.
And then he went on to describe that shit for like 3 straight classes, adding more and more to the story every chance he had to speak, providing me with my daily dose of cringe in tiny bits of uncomfortable information at a time! Like a sporadic cringe snack! Sninge! Crack? Probably Crack.
ANYWAYS
There was also the time I told him the story of how I became best friends with a guy because we got into a fight in P.E.. We were arguing about some nonsense and he wanted to fight, so after he socked me on my stomach, I cheaply kicked him in the face so hard I almost sprained my ankle and then we started laughing (because I guess sometimes that’s all it takes). Phillip is my best friend for almost 10 years now.
Roger puffed up his soap dish chest went on for at least 2 classes worth of time about how he “beat up his last bully and broke both of his arms, and almost went to prison, but his dad is a lawyer and bailed him out”. Dude was 16, and I don’t think he’d need to be bailed out, but okay… He was, in fact, very badass.
Those are all approximations of actual stories he told me, because my ADHD memory is shit, but you get the gist of it.
My days were filled with endless stories filled with absolute bullshit, like a Gary Stu from a dying rpg campaign. (I have a story about a DnD game he participated in, but that’s for another time!)
Roger, not content with lying to me about anecdotal facts about his past that could be true but were almost certainly mostly bullshit (if not entirely), had a tendency to just negate reality when presented with facts in certain situations.
And example of this situation is the time we were doing a group assignment and a girl at least 3 meters in front of him dropped her pencil and he just kinda threw himself on the ground, picked it up and said “Here you go, Lana!”. She said “Thanks Roger!”, barely turning around and carried on with the assignment. Roger, then, turned to me with a sleek shit feasting smirk on his face and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me??”
I contained a ridiculing laughter just in time to realize he was dead serious.
I said “I don’t know man… Doesn’t seem like it to me, but sure I guess.”
RB then straight up asked ME to go talk to her and get HIM her number. When I asked why shouldn’t he do it, he said it was “the wingman’s job to get the number of the girl” so that he wouldn’t “look weak for asking”
I said I’d do it, cause I genuinely wanted to see if he was right about her liking him (I hadn’t really understood the dynamics of the classroom, so I actually had no idea if he was actually right, just a gut feeling that yeah, he probably wasn’t).
I went up to her and asked for her number, explaining it was Roger who was interested in her and, as I pulled out my raging 2014’s Sony XPeria, I was swiftly interrupted by her delicately saying “Sorry! I have a boyfriend.” (She said the boyfriend part out loud, and stared at Roger)
I said “Oh, ok, sorry to bother ya!” and, as I was starting to walk back, I noticed that she turned back and glared at Roger. Later that day her boyfriend texted him, telling him that “He’s got to stop asking her out, and next time, if he wants to get rejected, he should come do it himself” He called him a moron. And then they both blocked him.
Well, that was embarrassing.
Despite having been turned down (for the 6th time now, I’d come to find out), Roger still maintained that she was “totally into him”, and it wasn’t just Lana. Any time he had even the smallest interaction with any girl, he’d say that they’re “probably into him”, or that “they made out at a party, but she was drunk and probably won’t remember”, or that they “sent him nudes last year but he’s already deleted them because he’s a good person, with morals”.
This went on for a while and, after about a month, Roger begun to dial down the crazy stories about how he’s a “badass and he gets all the girls but he’s single because he’s too good for them”. Until I started seeing a girl from another church I started going to. I met Janice () at the churches youth group, and we talked the whole time afterwards about lots of stuff. This name’s given because of her insanely similar laughter and demeanor of Janice from Friends. We clicked well and I was very interested in her, but my ADHD ass forgot to get her number, and remembered it only when she had already left.
When I told Roger, he laughed and said “I had just cockblocked myself” and that I’d “probably missed my only chance of banging a girl ever”. I was bummed, but clarified I didn’t really want to have sex before marriage or at least before making an emotional connection (I had just then begun to go to church, so I didn’t really get the rules, so it was more of a personal choice I always had in mind when thinking about dating. Also I met her at church so wtf).
He said “that was dumb” and, “even though he was a virgin, he’d dance the Devil’s Tango with the first chick he had the chance to”
“What about Laura?”, I asked. His face went from a confident smirk to an almost sad expression, and he blankly replied: “She didn’t want to, but I tried anyway at times. I even got a blowie once!” I let it go because I was very tired, as Mondays are hell on earth.
A few classes later, I went up to him and reminded him of our conversation and asked:
I said “Ooookay, but what about all those girls you told me were all over you? Didn’t they want to have some bum bum times with you??”
He was taken by surprise by this, and was visibly trying so hard to think of an answer for at least 15 seconds. He mumbled “Well…”, and like just left. Like he got up in the middle of the class, and walked away. Well that was weird!
He got back and I didn’t pry, thinking he had some kind of trauma, and I tried to change the subject.
I say “tried” because instead we were suddenly interrupted by a girl asking me if I was Rick. I didn’t know her or how she had materialized beside our desks, but later I found out that that girl’s name was Mary. She had blue eyes and was smiling mischievously, and I answered “Yup, that’s me”. She then giggled and said that “Anna wanted to make out with me after class”. Me and Roger were both very much taken aback by this, and I immediately thought to myself that this could only be some type of dare or prank (which it probably was), and was about to try and respond with the first witty joke that popped up in my monkey brain when, without missing a beat, Roger said “Rick’s already seeing someone!”. Mary was visibly surprised and said “Oh, you have a girlfriend??” with a look of disbelief on her face. Ouch. I explained that I wouldn’t say I do, I just liked a girl from church and we’re going to see a movie with some friends on Saturday, and that either way it was a pass on the making out sesh! Mary said “Oh, okay!” and started to walk back to her desk. I was about to make a joke and say that Anna could probably do better than me, when Roger interjected:
RB: “I’d like a making out sesh if she’s interested!”
Mary looked back with a visible “Lol, ew no” expression and just said: “I’m sure you would, Roger!”, turned away and sat down, laughing with her friends when she got to her desk.
Roger turned to me and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me?”
This cycle repeated once in a while, so I’m not gonna tell you all of the situations that I felt like shaking him and trying to wake him up like Woody does to Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. Exhausting, right?
Another thing Roger tended to brag about was that he did Martial Arts. Specifically, Kung Fu (Wushu). I would come to find out that, in the year before, he made a big scene to tell everyone in class that he’d just started Kung-Fu classes and, when no-one payed attention, he started a habit of punching the wall beside his desk, audibly making “hmpft” noises. When anyone asked why, he’d say he was training, and that his Sensei (Not shifu, he actually said sensei) had asked him to do that to strengthen his fists so he could harness all the strength he had, so one day he could put a hole through a wall with his fists.
He would also punch the school’s fireproof doors because, if you didn’t know, they dent pretty easily, and he would show me and tell me to bask at his strength and ability. That until I said I’d give it a try. He told me not to, because “I wasn’t trained” and “it could really hurt my hand”. I punched the door. It made a dent.
Roger said it was beginners luck and that he’s just a good teacher. I told him I really didn’t even make an effort to pay attention, the metal was just bendy and soft. Roger never talked about it again, and started only punching walls. For that, he would feel superior because, yeah I ain’t doing that. There were consequences for his wall punching habits, but I’ll address that some other time.
The last thing I’ll say about him for now is how clueless Roger was, how much he thought of himself and how he treated everyone else like they should (and would) respecting for what he told them, and not for what he showed them.
(I plan on doing another part eventually, with the story of how his disconnection with reality, lies, schemes and generally narcissist behavior eventually exploded back into his face.)
As a last bit of exposition of our circumstances, there’s an important part of our school life that fueled Roger’s social life’s demise.
Pranking was a big part of my class’ culture. There were also some people in my classroom who were bullied. The thing is: the bullies actually made fun of literally everyone else, which made it very hard to figure out if you were considered a target or just a colleague. They’d mess with people’s stuff, tie backpacks to the windows and hide pencil cases, but they would also do it to their own group.
Essentially, the only way to differentiate those who they considered normal schoolmates from those who were bullied was the frequency of the pranks and their demeanor in general towards those people. They would apologize for the pranks, ask to make up for it, buy you lunch, make jokes, try to laugh with you. I swear some of those guys were politicians in the making. Luckily, was very good friends with one of the guys in that group, I’ll call him Turkey, who was also held back a few years before me, and he liked my sister, so I was mostly safe.
Roger, on the other hand, THOUGHT he was one of the pranksters. Every time someone pranked him or anyone else, he would laugh knowingly, like he was in on the joke the whole time, and try to make jokes, only to further humiliate himself. And they would capitalize on that as hard as they could.
You see, Roger liked to portray himself as the “Mysterious-Badass-Quiet-Protagonist-Take-No-Shit-From-Anyone-Mr.-Steal-Yo-Girl” guy. This combo of personality substitutes was the recipe for the downfall of his popularity, and the start of the longest lasting pranks I’ve ever seen in my life, which will come if yall want another post. That prank is also the reason I named him Roger Bacon.
Because he was so into Math and Science (and into himself too lol) he also always wanted to look like the smartest guy in the room. The problem is that, as our first semester went by, it became clear that he wasn’t as good as he hyped himself up to be. Shocker, right? This was proven to be true when we were doing a chemistry group test, and I was paired with him and Anna, and we needed to calculate some entropies or whatever. He made a point of telling us to do all of the “easy ones”, and he would take on the more complicated questions.
The thing is, he was trying really hard to look like a genius, to maybe impress Anna, so every time he made a calculation, he would roll his eyes up and kinda vibrate a little. I guess he wanted to look like a genius mathematics robot, but instead he looked like he was trying to imitate an autistic person having a small stroke. I didn’t mind the Good Doctor amateur impersonation, because at least it looked like he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, it really just looked like he knew what he was doing.
Each easy question of the test was worth 1 point, and there were 4 of them, and there were 3 hard questions worth 2 points each. We got a 4/10 on that test, and lo and behold, the only questions we got right were the ones me and Anna worked on. We were a bit pissed, not gonna lie.
Until the last time we spoke, Roger still blames Anna for his complete failure at this test for, in his words, distracting him because she was obviously into him.
But that’s just Roger, I guess!
I've got A LOT of stories about Roger and other neckbeards I've encountered, and I can't wait to tell them!
Until then, thanks for reading, and have a good one yall!

Hi, I’m bonzos-number-1-fan You might know me from such theories as; "Theory of Fears; or, Zur Furchtlehre", "What R# Means: The ABCs of Fear" or, "Padlocks, How Do They Even Work?".
I’m back with another essay about this show. Today’s subject is a little different from previous ones. Rather than explaining what I think something in this show is, I’ll be explaining what I think it isn’t. What I’m going to be talking about is the very popular theory that CAT1/2/3 means the supernatural aspect is a Person/Place/Object.
Because I’m talking about other people’s ideas here I do want to start off by saying I understand why this theory is attractive and I don’t think anyone is stupid or anything for believing it. I just personally think there are angles from which it doesn’t work and that the sum of them makes it fairly certain to be untrue. I could be very wrong about that, and my other theories, or I could be very right. I don’t think either scenario matters much. This essay isn’t about being right but about talking about a big thing in the community. I just happen to not believe this one and people have signalled interest in hearing why.
So with all that out of the way I’m going to start by establishing the terminology being used. Then I’ll break down what this theory is positing and follow it up with the ways I think it does and doesn’t work. That’s basically it but with 16 episodes and supplemental material to cover it’s still not going to be terribly short.
Huge thanks to @brettanomycroft for proof reading/editing this madness.

Spoilers for The Magnus Protocol up to and including episode 16.

 

What is a CAT#?

A CAT# is the first 4-5 characters of an OIAR's incident report header. While these are not often referenced in the main body of the show, each incident we hear is accompanied by one in the show's description and transcript. As an example this is the case number for the first incident of episode 1.

CAT1RBC5257-12052022-09012024

Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret [Email]

The first line is the case number. CAT1 is this incident's CAT#. The RBC (R#/Rank) and 5257 (DPHW) have been topics I've discussed in essays I linked at the start. The second line is the header and is formatted “Section (Subsection) -/- Crosslink [Format]”. CAT#s is all we're concerning ourselves with today but I will be using this terminology going forward.
Now we know what they look like, what is it we know about them? Well, not much at all. From the show itself we know there are CAT1s, CAT2s, CAT3s and CAT23s. From the Klaus excel sheet that was found as part of the ARG (and can be found here) we also know there are CAT12s and CAT13s. With that information we can say with some certainty that CAT1, CAT2, and CAT3 are non-mutually exclusive groupings. It's very likely not a linear scale of some description—i.e CAT23 isn't between CAT2 and CAT3—because CAT13 doesn't fit such a scale. Which means that where there are two numbers in a CAT# that incident likely fits both groups rather than being a new group. This also strongly implies that an incident could be CAT123 although we have yet to see that demonstrated.
We also know that CAT is short for "Category". In the Klaus sheet these numbers are located in the "Kategorie" column. "Kategorie" being German for "category". This unfortunately doesn't tell us anything we didn't already know. CAT#s denote some form of grouping.
There is only one other fact we know about CAT#s and that's this:

ALICE
Right, so, after each entry there's four numbers. That’s the DPHW. So, “dolls comma watching” is… 1157. Then you cross reference with the table here, that would be a 2-C, and then you type that into the box here, along with date of incident if there is one and today’s date.

Which is not a lot to go on at all but it does raise an important question. How is a CAT# assigned? There are two major assumptions you could make here. The first is the “objective method” and that it’s a factor of either the section, subject, DPHW or a combination thereof. This means that they are pre-assigned in the same way that DPHWs are. This method has an inherent trait in that it means every header manifests as the same sort of thing. While it’s not a problem to say that every Doll (Watching) is the same— that could just be the rules of the setting—it does make CAT# itself somewhat redundant. The terminology of the headers will often describe something inherent about the CAT#. We have a CAT3 case that’s Dice (Bone) -/- Fate but dice are objects so why would you need to restate that?
The second is the “subjective method” in which the assessor chooses the CAT# based on the incident itself. The subjective method has a larger assumption built into it in that they know what CAT#s are. They don’t know what DPHW is and have shown no indication of knowing what CAT# is either. So I’d say it’s less likely that CAT#s are subjective rather than objective. However, for the purposes of this essay I will assume that both are as likely to be true as each other and will refer to them both. Different cases show different flaws when one of these is true over the other, so both will get discussed.
 

What is Person/Place/Object?

Person/Place/Object is the theory that the three single digit CAT#s stand for Person, Place, and Object respectively. Combinations of these digits represent that an incident falls into each category. A CAT1 incident indicates that the supernatural element of an incident is a person in some respect, while a CAT23 would indicate both a place and an object.
As I have mentioned this isn’t a theory with a single theorist or origin to point to. As such this theory isn’t a monolith and there is variation in how these categories are presented from theory to theory. Sometimes “Person” is literal and other times it includes any sentient thing, “places” aren’t always strictly physical locations, and the narrative framing of what “objects” are may shift. As such I will be taking the broadest interpretation of these categories as their definitions.
People will include animals and other sentient beings. Places will include metaphysical locations. Objects won’t need to be physical in nature. This is both the fairest I can be to all theories and also the strongest I can make this theory. The broader I can make these definitions, the more different ideas can be represented and the more wiggle room the CAT#s get.
What I’ll do next is run through all the incidents the show has mentioned and explain them as I see it. We’ll start with the ones that fit this theory well because they require little explanation. Then when that’s established we’ll talk about the places I think this theory falls down.
 

Which Incidents fit well?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: There is something like a zombie in this incident. That’s something like a person and so fits well.
CAT1RB4824 Injury (Needles) -/- Intimidation: Needles is definitely a person, no question there.
CAT1RB2275 Mascot (Kids) -/- Murder: Bonzo walks, “talks”, and probably thinks. He’s a person.
CAT1B4728 Mascot (Kids) -/- Frenzy: Bonzo is still doing that stuff so is still a person.
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/-Horde: There was a person and they turned into snakes. Snakes count as people here too. Given the amount of snakes this is the most CAT1 CAT1.
CAT1RB-6451 Hunt (Aristocratic) -/- Compulsion: Lady M is the most person on this list.
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Definitely involves a person doing something supernatural.
 

CAT2:

CAT2C8175 Infection (Full Body) -/- Arboreal: This incident takes place in a time and space bending garden. Makes perfect sense for CAT2.
CAT2RB2377 Disappearance (Undetermined) -/- Invitation: A spooky theatre is a location for sure.
 

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: In this instance the object in question is the tattoo. Which I think is really stretching the definition of “object” but I’m still going to give it to the theory.
CAT3C7494 Collection (Blood) -/- Musical: A magical violin is definitely an object.
CAT3RB3354 Dice (Bone) -/- Fate: Bone dice are inarguably objects.
CAT3RB4622 Gambling (Application) -/- Murder: It’s another stretch to call an app an object but, again, happy to give it to the theory.
 

CAT23:

CAT23RAB2155 Transformation (Eyes) -/- Trespass: In this incident’s case the location is the Magnus Institute and the object is the box RedCanary stole. I think there are some problems with this one but there is enough to get through.
 

Which Incidents Don't?

CAT1:

CAT1RBC5257 Reanimation (Partial) -/- Regret: You’re not misremembering, I did say this fit well. Because on the surface it really does make sense, but I think if you push just a little it makes very little sense. Why? Because any category you want to place this in is easily justified in the incident itself. There is a zombie-esque thing but also a Frankenstein-esque figure for CAT1. CAT 2 would be the location of the graveyard itself. It was chosen by the presumed creator of this zombie-like creature and is depicted similar to the one in Marked, a CAT23 incident. If this theory is correct and the Marked graveyard is supernatural I can’t see a reason to discount that possibility here. CAT3 fits too because the presumed creation method is that they were Frankenstein-ed which does require some sort of surgical apparatus. But whichever choice you make you’ve not really clarified the incident at all.
This issue is further seen in the methodology of assigning CAT#s.Objectively it has the same problem all objective assignments do. Reanimation implies there is going to be a reanimated person so restating that doesn’t add much. If we look at the subjective method then this is chosen largely at random. There isn’t enough of an indication in this incident to clearly state which CAT this is. So it’s neither helped in the assessment of the incident and doesn’t provide anything for response because all choices are justifiable.
 
CAT1RB4426 Transformation (Snake) -/- Horde: Not misremembering here either. There is a problem with this one in that it’s demonstrated to be an infection. This makes the source of the affliction basically unknowable. The source could qualify it for other CATs but the larger issue here is that what CAT1 means here and what it means elsewhere are not that comparable. Needles, Bonzo, and Lady M are all sentient and independent. The afflicted we see in this case are normal people until they get very rapidly sick, summon a portal to the snake dimension in their throats, and die. Which leaves CAT1 translating to “something in the rough shape of a person” which is a really wide range of interpretations. Which is something I feel has little practical utility in either assessing or responding to these incidents.
 
CAT1RB1565 Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac: Still not misremembering. While you can say that Ink5oul or Madame E are the person in this instance there is a major conflict here with CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic. If Daria’s transformation was CAT3 because tattoos are objects then there is no reasonable justification that this isn’t at least CAT13. It’s the same person, doing the same thing, to a very similar result but in a different CAT. The headers are entirely different, and so this/that may be misfiled, but it highlights a problem with Daria’s incident. If the incident with the Tattoo header isn’t an object then tattoos are probably not objects under this scheme.
If this is objective then this is always a person, or on people, which makes a great deal of sense. However if that’s the case then the objective method for Daria’s case sort of falls apart because there wasn’t really a secondary object there. Additionally, because all incidents with that case’s header being objects is a huge stretch. So if this incident, or that incident, is misfiled it doesn’t really matter. In either case (or even if both of them are misfiled), it largely disproves that tattoos are objects, creating a larger issue with that theory as it affects more than just this case. Subjectively as far as we’re aware Sam filed all three of the Ink5oul incidents. So he chose an object in Daria’s case but then opted against it here despite there being no real reason to that we can see. You could say that now Ink5oul has been in it more, he thinks Ink5oul has some sort of supernatural power themselves which makes them a CAT1; that would still make this CAT13 as episode 11 was CAT23.
 

CAT2:

CAT2RC1157 Dolls (Watching): This is a big one in my opinion. It’s not only the first incident we’re told about, but it's both Sam’s and our first exposure to an explanation of the OIAR’s filing system. It’s also one I see ignored in most of the posts that posit the Person/Place/Object theory. That is understandable as we don’t hear the incident itself but we do hear enough of it to show that there is a flaw in the theory.
What we hear about this incident is entirely focused on the doll itself and questions about its nature. It’s a split between Dolls (Watching) and Dolls (Human Skin) with the former being chosen as the latter is only implied. Dolls themselves are objects which would make this CAT3, and if the doll is sentient a CAT1. However, this is placed in CAT2 indicating that it's actually caused by the location in some respect. In order for that to make sense you have to make 3 major assumptions. Assumption 1: despite no indication in the conversation about this incident suggesting anything outside of the doll being strange there was actually a “haunted house”. Assumption 2: despite there being sections far more descriptive of locations—i.e Architecture—Dolls is more suited to this incident. Assumption 3: despite this being Sam’s/the audience’s first exposure to this system it leaves out the real source of the incident when, narratively, this is an explanation of it. Those are some fairly major assumptions to make to justify a theory.
This also has issues with either method of assigning CAT#s. If CAT# is objective then every Dolls (Watching) is actually a location. Unlike with something like Reanimation (Partial) that doesn't make much sense as dolls themselves are objects. In the subjective method, Alice assigned this as a location but their discussion of it centred solely on an object and she didn't explain to Sam why she did it.
 
CAT2RC3338 Agglomeration (Miscellany) -/- Congregation: This might be my favourite example of issues I have with this theory. To explain it we’ll look at this from both the objective and subjective methods while taking into account outside knowledge of the show from an audience perspective.
Everyone I’ve seen posit this theory attributes CAT2 to Hilltop here.They do this solely because of TMA. There is nothing in this episode that makes Hilltop out to be anything special in any way. But because Hilltop is special in TMA the audience is primed to view this location as special. It may very well be but there is no reason to think that. In fact, I’d argue there's reason to think otherwise based on this episode, but that is a little off topic for this essay. However from an objective perspective it can’t take Hilltop into account because not every header of this sort will take place in Hilltop. They could only manifest at special locations but that seems like a stretch. If it is true, why does this unique combination of words not include a word that describes it as a location? Subjectively it could be a misfile. Celia would be the only person who knows what Hilltop is in TMA— assuming some of the theories on her are correct—but that doesn’t make Hilltop important in and of itself. It also means she ignored large parts of this incident when filing it just to focus on that element. As this case is the one Alice uses to teach Celia the system with, then this also relies on Alice knowing or not correcting Celia. In either scenario this case is full of people of definite supernatural quality, lacks a location of supernatural quality, but has 100s of objects of dubious supernatural quality. Something doesn’t make sense here if this theory is correct.
 
CAT2RBC3366 Architecture (Liminal) -/- Hunger: This one is interesting because it shows a flaw not in the theory per se but in the methodology as a whole if the theory is correct. If CAT# is what the theory says it is why is this just CAT2? It being CAT2 at all is redundant when its header describes a location but in this incident we see it’s populated by supernatural creatures. I call them Uncannybals—as should you—and they’re monsters living in the shadow realm. That seems like very important information to include. So it should be CAT12 as there are both people and a place. The OIAR methodology already has the problem that you can’t include multiple headers but CAT#s, if they worked like this, could be used to alleviate that issue. The way it’s implemented here just makes it virtually pointless to include at all.
 

CAT3:

CAT3RBC1567 Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic: This was largely already covered. So simply put if Transformation (Full) -/- Dysmorphic is an object because of the tattoo, and Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion is an object because of the tattoo, but Tattoo (Influencer) -/- Cardiac isn’t an object despite being virtually identical to this case then CAT3 doesn't mean object.
The method problems are the same as above too. Now this case is the one most likely of the three to be misfiled. So you could say that Daria's case is misfiled and would actually be CAT1 if filed correctly. Tattoos aren’t objects, this case is a mistake. Then you could explain that Marked is CAT23 because corpses are objects (so 13 if he was alive). Objectively this header always being CAT3 still poses problems because we know there are Transformations that don’t require objects. Which brings us back to the problem of “why are the headers so bad at describing these things?”. If it’s subjective Sam decided that object instead of person made more sense here. Seemingly based on the fact that there is a tattoo. Later on he changed his mind about this but choosing it in the first place seems like a stretch. If he knew what these things meant in order to choose them, object seems like a very unobvious choice.
 

CAT23:

CAT23RC5246 Tattoo (Corpse) -/- Compulsion: This one is fairly clear to me. I’m going to be very generous and suggest that the corpse here is the object based on the above. The reason this one is a problem is that there wasn’t a location here. I’ve seen people say that it must be the graveyard but that’s confirmation bias IMO. It wasn’t a large feature of the episode, didn’t do anything coastal graveyards don’t do, and had no overt supernatural properties to it. I don’t personally think anyone would categorise this as CAT23 based on the incident alone but because CAT23 people will justify it to fit. That’s not inherently a problem because sometimes you have to make assumptions but given all of the above I don’t think that assumption is a reasonable one to make.
Objectively all compelling corpse tattoos are found in magical graveyards—or morgues, tombs, goth bars, and other corpse hangouts—and I think we can all agree that’s sort of wack. Subjectively Sam decided the graveyard was magic despite there being nothing to suggest that.
 

Klaus’ CAT#s:

This is a bit of a special section. I briefly mention Klaus in the intro but I didn’t mention that some of the incidents we’ve heard have been found on the Klaus sheet. The canonicity of these aren’t 100% and I would say the show takes precedent so this is supplemental rather than definitive. I think I’ve more than shown that this theory doesn’t hold up. This is more of an academic exercise.
The big thing to know here is that Kluas’ cases lack headers entirely but that some Klaus cases have notes and it’s these notes attached. It’s only one’s with those notes I’m interested in for this because of how they relate to things we’ve heard. One case is CAT3RBC1567 with the note “tinte”. CAT3RBC1567 is Daria’s case and “tinte” is German for “ink”. So this is very likely that case. There are 4 other cases with that note and they’re two CAT1s, a CAT3, and a CAT13. So even if Daria’s case is misfiled not all of those are the correct CAT# for that assumption. There are also two CAT1s and a CAT2 marked “Herr B”, which is “Mr B” in English. These aren’t tied to a Bonzo case we’ve heard yet but one of them does take place in Bland Theme Park, Somerset. That’s not definitively Bonzo but it’s a good hint at it.
Additionally there are 6 CAT2 cases that have the note “Katzen LOL” or “Cats LOL” which you’d expect to be CAT1s if there are cats involved. In a similar vein there are one CAT1 and five CAT2s marked “Kreigsvolk” which is literally “War People” but more likely “Army” or “Soldiers”. Again, you’d expect more CAT1s if CAT1 is people.
I’m not saying any of the above is the backbone of my reasoning here but these are things that are showing up in the show and they do seem to be pointing the same direction as what I’m saying. Ignoring them entirely I think the theory doesn’t hold up but with them I think it’s very clear.
 

Conclusion

I don’t have much of a wrap up here. Anyone who’s been reading my posts for a while has known that I’ve never thought this theory worked. It’s not something I ever get too deep into because I’m also obviously happy for people to have ideas I disagree with, as am I happy for them to disagree with my ideas. That’s just healthy theorising. I’d been considering writing this for a while though but was mostly held back by not wanting to come across as some sort of arbiter of what is and isn’t correct, and didn’t want to seem like I was calling anyone out specifically. However a few people now said they wanted to see this and there are enough instances of parallel thought on this theory that it’s impossible for me to really single people out now. So here we are.
Just to reiterate for people that did/do believe this theory I don’t think anyone was stupid and/or wrong for thinking it. I hope if the above has convinced you that I’m right about it that you’re not dissuaded from making and sharing future theories. I’ve have 3 or 4 terrible CAT# theories and a few R# theories too. My current ideas on DPHW and R# might be awfully wrong in the long run and that’ll be okay.
That’s me anyway, hope this was at the very least an interesting read if it didn’t manage to be a convincing one. Bonzo! Bonzo!! Bonzo!!!