Pooping women

Blood tests appear fine, but I can't get my guardians to set me up with a primary care provider. Symptoms include constant chills to the point of not being able to walk, constant stomach pain, dropping and breaking things almost 24/7, and tripping to the point where I can barely get up out of bed and walk without being in pain from muscle weakness anymore. I take sleeping meds along with anxiety pills, but I don't know if they're enough anymore. . . . . . . . . . . . .
I've had labels thrown at me ranging from bipolar like my mother from a licensed psychologist to a schizophrenic who thinks they have ghosts in their bones by EMTs. They constantly ask how much caffeine I drink even though I only drink one cup a day (ranges in size). I would switch over to decaf in a heartbeat, but it's no longer sold on store shelves where I live and I'm stuck with what's available. I've tried to cut back on soda/kool-aid/etc. and mostly drink cold water from their dispenser to save money. I usually go for a sprite when I'm out at a restaurant. All my blood tests come back fine aside from Vitamin D and my stool looks completely normal. I do have the rounded gels for vitamin D, but I forget to take them.
I left my phone at therapy on accident so using this time to see if I can make sense of the outside world, but all it really does so far is prove the point of why I'm addicted to my phone in the first place. While everyone else aimlessly scrolls through TikTok, browsing actual social media like Twitter and Reddit is the only way to connect with the outside world in a small rural town with next to nothing but a trashed up Dollar General. I feel hopeless when it comes to everyday civil rights issues taking place around the world while I'm stuck with old boomers who pray for our demise.
It's not safe to get an apartment where I live because of all the drugged up deadbeats banging on people's windows and helping themselves to everyone else's spaces while the cops do nothing. I've also had all kinds of people come up to me and fantasize about wanting to kill my pets in front of me, so that's another thing I have to worry about as well. There's even been issues with people pulling out knives on each other, so even though I've bought pepper spray for myself I dont think it's enough to protect my entire living space from being pillaged. It might injure my pet if the perpetrator decides to aim for my pet first and I can't spray them in time.
Steel padlocks don't mean jack fucking shit when people can pick up a screwdriver from somewhere and unscrew the hinges off the door while I'm gone just like my sister's kids did to me growing up. Security cameras don't mean much either if all the meth heads are just gonna come back and rip through all the replacements without any consequences from the police whatsoever. Not only is it unsanitary and unsafe, but I wouldn't be able to find clothes that fit me without traveling out of state either. I would like to start walking again, but I'm scared of falling in the middle of a busy highway or tumbling into a ditch somewhere. Even then it wouldn't matter how much weight I lose due to cup size being controlled by horomones. The only reason I'm so concerned about my heart is because my mother's side of the family has heart issues really bad.
I do go to group therapy (CBT), but they've practically given up on the "mental health" aspect because it triggers all the other clients into not wanting to come anymore, with some being in even worse conditions than I am (CSA, domestic violence, etc). Whenever we try to provide reasonable explainations on how coping mechanisms can trigger volatile reactions out of other family members, we're constantly being invalidated and told that we're just choosing to be miserable. Everyone is always a stuck up about how family is so important and how we need to "love" them from a distance. However, I can't just go anywhere else for therapy because the only other psychologists they have for miles (ones at the facility) will literally raise their voice and scream at residents in front of everyone else if they don't get their way. I can't go to the other group therapy that the residents because some of them reek so bad to the point of giving me flashbacks of my parents' roach infested hoards.
Everyone gets onto my ass about leaving things on the table when I go use the restroom, but the truth is that I'm already tired of having my all shit stolen since I was 10 while everyone in my life sat around and told me to quit crying and bitching about everything. I do try to watch other residents and keep my personal items within arms reach, but I can't keep up when I can barely exit my bed and walk down the fucking halls just to eat. That's all on top of my parents consisting of three different hoarders and losing track of everything I bring over there (not to mention all the roaches, mice, and animal waste all over the floor).
I've gotten a lot more freedom since moving away from the cult, but everything I did to cope has practically gone out the fucking window due to thieves and lack of internet (they won't fix the damn router bc they dont know anything about tech). I used to have a Bluey box full of different characters from the show (ordered online ofc), but everything's so filthy that I can't really bring anything out besides toys or stuffed animals. I have an entire tote of books I've never even touched because the place is way too nasty to have them out and risk them getting ruined.
Whenever my belongings do go missing, I'm told to just suck it up and forget about it. I'm scared to fucking death end up with holes in them from being burnt or get mixed up with other women's clothes and get caught being worn them when they supposedly "know better" according to staff. I had a female resident at the religious group home scream and cry to the point that my entire fucking body weight against the damn door wasn't enough to stop her from barging into my bedroom and harass me for shit (that's after all the BS with my sister's kids for over a decade), so I'm not even gonna try to talk to anyone directly anymore.
If I told anyone in my family about my concerns, they would just get pissed and ramble on about how it's my choice to be there, how I need to stop bitching about everything not going my way, and that I should've just stayed at the religious group home. Therapists keep acting like it's all my fault in regards to my emotions, that I just need to work on myself and tell me there's nothing else they can do. Nothing fucking matters when everything on my broken ass tablet requires internet and my consoles are broken. Hell, I'd be having a blast with my 2DS XL if the thing didn't fall apart within the first month. All I really wanted it for was to emulate old PC games and hook it up to the TV. I figured that if I had all my games on one device with the bare minimum accessories needed to make it function, I wouldn't have to feel like a damn hoarder anymore.
I love the tiny library of games I have on my Wii, but my remote is absolutely dirty as fuck with roach poop and other crud. There's no way to clean it without literally soaking it in something. The console itself has all kinds of encrusted gunk on the side from where my hoarder father attached velcro to the side of it. Constant chills makes it practically impossible to sit up and play the games as well (I'm lucky just to be able to stand up anymore). My library is small enough that I'm willing to fuck around with gyroscopic controls for fun. It's not even the biggest priority to me anyway because there would be so many other games to play in the mean time.
I figured with the Steamdeck I could could prop it up against the bed or set it on a table use a controller with it if I reach a point to where I can't see the TV screen from my bed. I can't apply for a job at Walmart to pay for the thing myself because of my balance issues causing me to fall and the inability to grip anything (which would result in massive damages to inventory). I'm also worried about them taking all my earnings since my SSI check isn't enough to cover rent and I need state supplement. I thought about selling my art on Redbubble and save up that way, but my 2022 Samsung tablet that I got a few months ago glitches out when I try to draw stuff and crashes whenever I try to play certain games.
I can honestly forget about recieving one for Christmas/birthdays because for whatever reason, everyone has to have their way when it comes to gift giving and god fucking forbid you try to establish the most basic of boundaries or else you're nothing a spoiled bitch. It's one thing for the Steamdeck to be out of budget, and it's another to deliberately go against a person's wishes when it comes to simple shit like candy or soda when they obviously fucking know better. It doesn't help that everyone goes apeshit over the concept of making a "wishlist" like their life depends on it, only to hand me a sack full of random shit from the Dollar Tree and call it a day. It's also impossible to give it all away when nobody else wants it (I don't have transportation to Goodwill) and throwing away new items is a trigger for me.
I know the Steamdeck wouldn't really fix anything outside of the clutter issue and I probably shouldnt be getting one with my current impairments, but it would provide me with something to do outside of being on social media 24/7. Given the total squalor I grew up in as a child, I'd be genuinely happy with a lot of things outside of the Steamdeck if it weren't for my living situation literally preventing me from doing so:
_ toys
_ art
_ exercise bike
_ walking outside

• playing games on the 2DS again

All of these "coping" mechanisms would come back to me if I were able to move to a different area in my own setting where I don't have to constantly worry about pest infestations from the neighbors, getting evicted for no reason, and random strangers trying to kill me or my pets. I've looked everywhere for supported independence programs and absolutely all of them require a medical waiver with a waiting list of up to 10 years. I absolutely need these services for my own safety as a neglected autistic person to ensure that people aren't just gonna come out of the woodworks and try to assault me on my own property. If I move to a more stable area, I could finally get a decent job without having to worry about coworkers coming up to me and taking shit out of my hands for not knowing any better. I could finally have stuff to do outside of technology and be comfortable with my own surroundings.
Even if all of this is just anxiety, I'm still fucked over when in it comes to actual health issues like gingivitis (as confirmed by Aspen Dental) and getting my wisdom teeth removed due to the lack of a primary care physician. I've done everything I can to and they just won't do anything to get me in to see a doctor. I try to brush my teeth when I can but hurts too much to do so. I also feel overwhelmed with trying to organize everything as I keep getting way more brushes than I possibly need and people will not take no for an answer. I don't even know how to prepare for death anymore as I don't even have loved ones. The only people I've ever been given true contact with are my hoarder parents and mentally unstable sister and that's it; no friends or anything.
There's nothing I can really do to repeal the guardianship without taking everyone to court, which is impossible with my sister's busy schedule and unwillingness to work with anybody else. I only because it gives me something to do finally outside of being locked up all week until I go to a half-assed therapy session for three hours. However, they usually go straight home and aren't really willing to go anywhere that costs money aside from restaurants since we have next to no food at the house (even then it becomes unsafe to eat due to all the roaches and mice).
The bane of her existence is to scream about how much of a lazy ass I am despite turning my parents basement into a hoarded up shithole that's flooded out with animal waste to the point of attracting mice. I know her issues aren't my problem, but back in the day she'd come up behind me and pinch my sides to aggrivate me. She also threw pants/shoes/etc. at me while I was on the bed and even shoved me out of the way after accusing me of hiding something I wasn't supposed to have in the kitchen drawer (I was a legal adult at the time). I usually lay flat in bed to avoid confrontation, but ignoring her makes her volatile so I'm screwed either way. I'm pretty sure she's beating and starving her dogs as well, but nobody really gives a fuck. I've got too many of my own issues to even try worrying about them. She's known to be a neurotin junkie for years since moving in with my parents and was even caught smuggling Adderall at work while the cops didn't give a fuck and turned her loose the next day.
I would've called the cops only if there was another child still in the house, but can't do so otherwise because of the risk of charges being brought against me for slander and libel (APS labeled the case as unsubstantiated). I can't just go around risking all my freedom and housing over sick animals that would more than likely be euthanized anyway. Not that animal control would do anything to begin with, of course. I know it feels redundant to even go over there every weekend in those conditions, but I'm tired of being cooped up all day. I'm tired of not having access to a PC with internet and not being able to breathe due to all the secondhand smoke.
I have finally have regular access to food and meds at the facility, but I'm bored with nothing that makes me feel comfortable anymore. I used to walk around town because of my issues with knocking stuff off tables, bumping into everything, and tripping all the time. I used to play games on my tablet to get through the day, but the internet no longer works since switching it over to a new name and the staffare too lazy to just reset the router (everything is infested with ads). We do have bingo during the week, but most people only play for cigarettes and that's it. I can't hold any kind of conversation with anyone else because they'll just ramble on and on about random shit that happened thirty years ago. I used to play Fortnite and Warframe on my Switch Lite, but it broke after I dropped it and we don't have repair shops where I live. It would only hold charge from 45 minutes to an hour with half the games being broken anyway, so I don't even know if it's even worth saving at this point.
I can barely make use of group therapy (CBT) because of how cold I am and how much my stomach hurts. I try to sit outside when I'm not cold as there's nothing to really do around town anyway, but it's nothing more than cigarette butts and spit everywhere (along with rotten food that attracts flies). There's nothing the staff can really do to make the residents pick up after themselves and they can't ban smoking (even if other residents have health issues) because it's the only reason why anyone gets out of bed. The people where I live don't really believe in PTSD outside of veterans, let alone C-PTSD. The mere concept of it would go against everyone's idea that "family is everything, even if they do things we don't like". We barely have mental health services as it is so I'm basically screwed into staying where I'm at even though I live in fear of being punished. I'll see what I can do to get the medicine lady to up the hydroxozine a bit, but I don't know what else there is to even do beyond that point aside from huddling in bed and freezing 24/7 for the next decade until I'm approved for the waiver.

Is it just my store or does everyone have customers that cant figure out where/how to shit?? Im not saying it happens all the time at my store, but we have to be in the 99th percent of hyvees poop incidents.
Just today we had two “accidents” at once. One left a dookie trail from the deli, around the corner, down the hall, and into the women’s bathroom. And at the same time, some dude thought it was a great idea to plop a loaf down in the urinal.
Absolutely blows my mind. Shoutout everyone who cleaned it up right away tho. Yall the real MVPs.

I will not poop until they leave. They have been silent. I think they are doing the same thing. Who will win?
Update: after about five minutes they left and I took a shit
Update2: more context— it’s the bathroom at my work, I’m a woman, there’s few women in my workplace so usually the bathroom is empty and encounters like this are extra awkward.

I’m recently saw on Instagram some videos about women realizing that men’s dicks touch the toilet from the inside while they sit on it. And honestly I was very surprised too… because mine is apparently so short that I have never faced this problem ever. So guys with average dicks and bigger, where do you put yours while on the toilet? Please don’t tell me that the splash from falling poop touches it

Obligatory English not my first language.
First hear me out, I know how it looks and if I sound aggressive towards certain characters but you will found out why. And in day in age were you have to walk on eggshells around women it really got to my nerves.
I work at an office of 4 people. Assistant (F middle 20s), Secretary (F60s), Boss (M70s) and "ME" (M early 40s). At the moment of ''the incident" only assistant and me were on our office. Then comes along Poop Lady (probably in her late 40s don't care really).
She works in a neighboring office in the same building but they weren't opened for business yet. Poop Lady comes asking to use the toilet. At that moment I was finishing using it and it wasn't working properly but did got a bucket and poured water down a few times and left it neat clean. We did warned her that its wasn't working properly but if she would take care of it go a head (showing her the bucket on my hand).
So she used the toilet and was taking more than usual we could hear her phone ringing a couple of times we think her coworkers had already arrived. She shamefully came out saying what everyone would expect. but instead of going for water on the bucket Poop Lady used every single cleaning product she could find and dumped all on the toilet. The mix of nasty odors and chemicals was disgusting and she said that she would run down her office for a plunger and fix it.
She did came back like an hour or so but didn't get anything just "flushed" to see what happened and of course nothing did. Then boss came in with a client and a business associate acquaintance of our office. He went for the bathroom but pretty much did a U-turn and asked me if I did that. TBH It didn't buttered me because it was an expected reaction, only guy on the office and all. But I did said out loud that it was Poop Lady next door so Boss could hear and "do something".
So at this time the pressure to do something was real. Assistant and secretary were complaining that Poop Lady left things unresolved to a point that assistant took matters in her hands and started cleaning how she could. So I asked our boss what will he do about it. Boss apparently just whattsaped on what was going on. And got a response that I was responsable about the toilet situation. Reddit this, THIS got to me and I raised my voice and pretty much cursed Poop Lady and other office personnel, I was livid, I wanted to se red, and because sort of relevant they are the kind that will abuse the kindness of Boss man and take advantage on asking for office favors (wont get in to details but to a point that if it were business related there would have been a split commission for both parties).
As a side note Boss man is my father and we have a strange relationship but that's a whole can of worms. That's why I could raise my voice to him and said that they were HIS friends not mine and I have been courteous and professional as of that moment. And I was going to their office and call out Poop Lady why blaming this on me. As I said not my friends and this kind of behavior was out of line.
So yeah I stormed to their office and yelled at Poop Lady of leaving the toilet like a truck stop WC. And we are not close or friends so she could make that sort of "joke" to pin that shit to me. I could see her discomfort, there were more office by standers (no clients so that's good lets keep it professional) and her Boss kicked me out basically banning me from his office for calling out a "lady" like that.
So yeah that's basically it, Poop Lady's boss is the kind of sleazy person that would sell her own mothers ashes. and the rest of the other office personnel are the kind that will ask for favors but never return them. They take advantage over my boss/father and well, if its work related he'll let it happen even if they walk over him. As I said other can of worms.
I don't feel so bad because basically I'm the hero of the women of my office (hey don't like them either). Boss man didn't stop me wen I told him what I was going to do. He could have but didn't, for what I could gather there were already tensions from the other office's boss and him. And as I was telling my story to my wife she pretty much said that she would rather die than to leave other people's toilet like that. So It gave me some sort of relief. But Reddit here's the thing. This was yesterday but I still have the adrenaline rush of it and cant seem to calm down and want to forget about it and move on.
Don't know if this is the kind of post that will have updates but if it happens I'll definitely will. Thanks in advance.
So AITAH?

I know this might be a little TMI, but anyone just cannot stop pooping so much during their pregnancy? I see so many women talk about how they have constipation, but me?? nope! always pooping so much during this pregnancy.

Guy I'm seeing pulled me up on my bushy eyebrows and body hair in a very indirect way. I have a small treasure trail which I think is cute. The hairs are blondish so I don't go to the hassle of waxing or whatever. He didn't directly say it to me, he just brought up that isn't it weird how the beauty ideal has molded us to view women a certain way and that if they're not like that then it's kinda ick e.g. if there's a woman with hairy legs etc even though innately we should feel attracted to them because they're a woman you don't. I'm totally paraphrasing and can't remember the exact phrase he used but I asked him directly do you think my legs are hairy and he said no. I do shave my lower legs but not my upper ones which aren't hairy imo. Now I'm like fuck, guess I better get the tweezers out and laser my entire body. I guess it's good in a way. He wants me to look my best? I'm not shaving my bush though just bottom part. I told him I have a lot of testosterone soooo... and he laughed.
I'm also completely neurotic and I went for a nap after getting home from his place today and then tried calling him and he didn't answer straight away. Immediately my mind jumped to the worst and I thought he was with another girl when he was actually just out on his bike. I blocked him on whatsapp and sent him a bunch of 🐷🐷🐷 emojis. He called me and was like wtf and I'm pretty sure he now thinks I'm crazy which I am. I told him I'm sorry for being so neurotic.
His dog died recently which was honestly heartbreaking as I considered them a package deal and my favourite activity was going for walks with him and his dog. I interpreted this as a punishment from God for having premarital sex and that maybe I shouldn't be with him.
I also don't feel comfortable pooping in his house yet even though I have multiple times.
I called him twice by accident on Whatsapp when I was reading over his messages like a sap. This was in the really early days and one of the times was at 7.30 in the morning when I was half asleep. Embarrassing. We were able to laugh about it but still.. literally the complete opposite from aloof and cool. "Someone misses me" is what he said.
He smokes so I started vaping again. This is definitely bad.
I guess I'm an rs gf. I feel like I like him so much I'm going crazy. I don't even have any reasons to have trust issues. It's always been me that's sabotaged my past relationships. I'm going away for work in June so at least my mind will be on other things then. Is there any way I can let go and stop being so uptight and neurotic yet still tick all the boxes as the ideal wife? I believe it is his fault for love bombing me telling me I'm going to father his kids, move in with him and that we're going on a motorbike road trip for our honeymoon.
I genuinely should have been born a man. I tried therapy before but ghosted my therapist to join crossfit. I'm also 30 so this is all just so embarrassing. I guess the post could be titled being a modern woman is hard. I don't really have any girlfriends in my corner to slap some sense into me. Someone tell me to chill tf out or what I should do.

Mikan has a habit of pondering many things while waiting for her mother to use the restroom. It is not aimless daydreaming, but rather akin to how some people would keep different books by their bedside, toilet, and office. Mikan always use this time to think about light but continuous things. Typically, she'd spend three to five minutes, with the first minute warming up, recalling where she left off in the book from the last time, then staring at her nails, progressing her thoughts bit by bit.
She developed this habit during her first visit to the zoo. That spring, she graduated from kindergarten, and before leaving the house, her mother was in front of the mirror, adjusting Mikan’s elementary school uniform. The zoo was on a seaside cliff, connected to the foot of the mountain by a narrow path lined with cherry blossoms. Children of all ages sat on the steps, waiting for a gust of wind to blow so they could shout for their mothers to take pictures. Mikan buried her head and walked up, thinking the others were childish. At that time, her father was still young; his neck had not yet thickened, and his eyelids had not drooped. When they left, she asked her mother who the strange uncle was, the one who knew so much about giraffes. She couldn’t remember how her mother answered, but she remembered seeing a kitten lying on the hillside, showing its belly to the sunset, making her exclaim "wow" to the cherry blossoms. From that day on, one weekend a month, she would go to the zoo with her mother to meet her father. During the time her mother was in the restroom, Mikan used it to think about the kitten. She had imagined raising three kittens: the first was tortoiseshell, then an orange one like her surname, and the latest was another tortoiseshell. Each cat lived for twelve years, and she thought about the world and herself thirty-six years later.
She didn’t always think about cats. Occasionally, when she didn’t go with her mother, she would talk with her classmates about how they envied the animals in the zoo, like gorillas and hyenas. Although there were no lions or tigers, there were lynxes. They looked so ugly, walking on all fours all their lives, but they were lucky to live by the sea and enjoy the sea breeze for a lifetime. The crude boys in her class would retort, saying, "Yeah, yeah, they can even poop directly into the sea."
After graduation, she never saw that boy again. All the boys would go to Tokyo when they were young; that was the rule. Only when they were old and decrepit would they be reluctantly sent back by the younger ones. But she often thought about that classmate. By the time she raised her third cat, he might have come back. When she saw the sea again, the image of a smooth butt hanging over the cliff came to mind. When she got into Waseda University, she told her mother that she might consider marrying that classmate.
When Mikan was little, she secretly asked her father how he fell in love with her mother. The primate area always had a strange smell, between animal and human. Her mother didn’t like the smell, standing five meters away near the door for ventilation (they couldn’t go further in because they were not allowed to meet outside the guardian’s sight; that was the rule). She didn’t remember what her father said, but she remembered pressing her hand against the glass, with an orangutan looking at her disdainfully. She felt like she was the one being watched. But her father must have said something, without hesitation, as if talking about a daily matter. It was too mundane, overshadowed by the contemptuous orangutan in her memory.
Influenced by her mother, Mikan also didn’t like the smell of the primate area. It wasn’t that it was unpleasant; it was like touching the residual warmth of someone who just left their seat, the mixed smell of decaying wood and butter in old temples, awkward and cautious. The only chance she almost had to be alone with that classmate was during a field trip. Both happened to be lingering at the entrance of the primate area. Mikan was there first, then the boy appeared behind her, peeking around. The introduction at the entrance had been scanned five or six times. Inside, the darkness reminded Mikan of the anteater’s mouth she had just seen. The boy asked, “Are you afraid to go in?” Mikan replied, “Of course not.” The boy retorted, “Coward, the teacher said not to wander off; you definitely won’t dare.” Mikan suddenly felt annoyed and walked in. When she reached the orangutan’s window and looked back, the boy had already disappeared. Mikan thought, childish.
One summer, a cat sneaked into the zoo and was brutally tortured by baboons before being killed. Mikan learned about it from the morning paper, crumbs scattered on it. The front page was about US-Japan trade friction, followed by news about Tokyo, Syria, obituaries, nuclear, and the next Olympics’ sailing event being held on the local beach. The news was arranged from far to near, and finally, in the middle column, she saw this news.
"Such a pity, so sad, so heartbreaking, so infuriating." She inhaled deeply and exhaled.
She didn’t know what this incident meant for the townspeople. Didn’t the middle column mean it was unimportant? She didn’t understand, but the townspeople seemed outraged, eventually passing a resolution to lower the male zoo supervision age to fourteen. The next day, this proposal moved to the front page, although not the headline, it stood alongside news from the US and Europe.
But this wasn’t a distant matter for her. Recently, she had joined the baseball team because that boy also loved baseball. At a celebration party, when discussing future high schools, he talked eagerly about a famous school in Tokyo, jokingly preparing for life there. Everyone laughed at this joke.
The front-page news explained the lawmakers' logic: due to men’s violence and animalistic nature, our country decided to confine men in zoos years ago, something we have always been proud of. Over the years, many outstanding women have joined the country to restrain their husbands' potential harm to the world. But our solution isn’t perfect. When does a child become a man? The radicals believe it’s at adulthood, at twenty, the legal marriage age. Conservatives argue that maleness is in the chromosomes and should be separated at the hospital. The incident with the baboons harming the cat further proves the harm of violence and animality to civilization. We should be more cautious and responsible. Thus, in our town, the second sex characteristic is used as the basis for identifying males.
This event was written into textbooks, leading to significant zoo renovations. Besides old mothers bringing their children to see their fathers, the zoo now provided spaces for the new generation of women to date their boyfriends in the park. For the town’s zoo, this room added at the end of the primate area, with rain hitting the iron roof, animal calls (and conversations from the men’s park) and the sound of waves hitting the cliffs, seemed far from a suitable place for romance. Mikan had never been there.
She never saw that boy again, though he didn’t play baseball. He likely lived the life he joked about, pooping off the cliff.
When her mother came out of the restroom, Mikan was imagining holding the tortoiseshell cat that had just died. She remembered her father saying that the zoo’s most famous animal was a giraffe, but it was a specimen, transported from Tokyo Zoo, always standing in the most conspicuous place. He saw it every morning as if it were still alive. She asked if he would become a specimen too, but she couldn’t remember his answer (she always remembered her questions but not others’ answers).

Preface: After doing some digging, I now see that Rythmia is a very controversial place. And frankly I think some of that is warranted. My intention with this review is not to suggest you go or not go to Rythmia. I don't really care what you decide to do with your life. I just hope this helps someone out there make the decision one way or the other. I think I have a very nuanced perspective and I feel like it's worth sharing for any people - like me - who are researching for their first trip. Thanks for reading this far! I'm going to try to make this as brief as possible, and limit how deep I go into my own personal experience.
My first impressions of Rythmia:

• Pretty nice digs, but I wouldn't call them 5-Star from resort standards. That being said, I'm pretty sure this is the nicest, most comfortable experience out there, in terms of just the facilities.
• Resort support staff are amazing. Leadership seems a little disconnected and culty. The program itself seemed pretty comprehensive and valuable at first. The "medical staff" I met with did not seem like doctors at all. They were extremely pretty, young, tattoo'd costa rican women. But maybe it's different down there? Immediately made me dubious of the whole "medically licensed facility" thing, but definitely nice people. The fact they do any sort of medical screening is probably a good sign.
• The food is amazing
• Immediately gained some insight and value from their classes. But by Monday I was starting to get a little turned off by some of what I was seeing/hearing (more on this below).
• I really thought the Shamans, especially 2 of the 4, did a pretty good job facilitating - all things considered. I will mention, that on the first day my immediate thought was "wow these shamans are really young!". I would have liked someone who seemed a little more seasoned, but I'm not entirely familiar with all of the shaman industry/culture, like some people.
• This place clearly calls out to the sick & hopeless. I expected some of that, but did not realize the extent of both physical & emotional trauma, baggage, and overall bad energy would be at a place like this. I grew to have a lot of love and compassion for the people I spent the week with, but I have to say it was pretty intense at times.
• The group experience, which they promote endlessly, is actually pretty horrifying. I would never do this as a solo person, especially if I was a woman. While I think I would probably come back, I’m definitely bringing a bigger group next time.
• Overall, I had a wonderful experience there with my girlfriend, but I don't think everyone would have the same experience as me. If you are in a dark place in your life, I could totally see this doing you more harm than good.

Facilities
Won't say much here, but from what I've seen, Rythmia has the best lodgings, food, etc. It's pretty expensive, even for what it is, but I rationalized it as you are paying for the safety. Which, at the end of the day may or may not even be true. I've read those stories too. But it definitely gives off a safer vibe than some of the more rustic scenarios. This is, obviously, a totally subjective and personal decision on what you would want more - modern or rustic. I personally thought Rythmia was a good first time location.
Staff/Leadership
All the support staff were wonderful and extremely helpful. Most of them had experience at the top resorts on the coast.
The specialty staff - massage therapists, breathework coaches, healers/shamans, etc. - were all equally amazing. I had amazing experiences with each of these people and I felt very deeply that they were there to help me be a better person. They really cared and it showed. Again, some of them seemed very young, but since I'm so new to this type of stuff, I felt like I really got some value from them. This includes the medical staff, but I just want to reiterate, none of the medical staff seemed like any doctor I had ever met. In fact, I didn't feel like 1 person I met the whole weekend was really skilled or experienced in dealing with crazy people or any real health concern. But, there were plenty of hands on deck at least.
The leadership, I have to say, was not impressive. For starters, half the people they brag about being involved in Rythmia, you never get any contact with. You're essentially guided through the program by the same 3-4 people, plus a few special guest speakers they have. I felt like leadership was fairly cold and uninterested in actually facilitating healing. Which makes perfect sense. They see 80 new people every week. But for whatever reason, the support staff are able to get it right, and these people can't. The only person who appeared to care was the 1 woman they have on staff (don't want to say her name). She's the only one that truly mingled with, and gave up her time for the residents. A lot has been said on this reddit about leadership, and I can't really confirm any of that, but I did come away feeling like they were a bunch of self-centered, ego-driven people.
Program
Like I said, I initially thought the program was amazing. You stay 7-8 days, 4 days of aya, and every day is full of classes. It just seems like there are so many resources at your disposal. I think, on some level, this is probably a good thing. I've read a lot about the more rustic experiences and people just having 0 tools to go into this process. So I think they've obviously put some effort into it, which is nice.
That being said, I think most of their classes ended up being pretty redundant for me, and borderline cultish. There were a lot of "hype" stories, including the owner's story, which I found to be an incredibly arrogant creation myth. You never hear about him actually making amends with all the people he apparently was terrible to in his previous life. He just ran away to Costa Rica. A lot of the leadership gave off vibes that they’re running from something. Idk, I just found it all kinda odd and it sort of hit me wrong.
For one, their intentions, and all the advice they give is necessarily vague and not really that helpful at giving context to the situation we are all about to experience. Beyond that, I really felt strongly that they were pushing the whole trauma thing a little heavy. Having heard a few different experiences from other people, I was shocked to not hear a damn thing about finding self love, acceptance, or a higher power in these required classes. It was all about how fucked up this journey is about to be, and you guys better strap in and face your fears head on. I just feel like this was a very iresponsible way of preparing a bunch of clearly traumatized people. They also REAAALLLY pushed consuming a lot of the medicine. The basic rule is, don't think, drink. Sounds like some weird frat rule. I feel like they are so focused on pushing people to the edge, just to induce this vague "miracle" they keep talkiing about. Anyways, didn't like that aspect.
By Tuesday night after my experience, I decided to stop going to the classes/meetings and just spent that time relaxing and integrating my experiences from the night before. After reflecting on it a bit, I really feel like the program is sort of dangerous for certain types of people - anyone who is highly unstable as it is. I just feel like it's not really the setting to have a highly unstable person (of which there seemed to be a handful) do 6-8 cups of medicine or whatever... I feel like it’s just asking for bad things to happen.
Last thing I’ll say is that it was abundantly clear to me that this program was meant to be some cookie-cutter thing. They don't have any real 1-on-1 support available. I talked to the "integration specialist" and it was a joke - just sat there and tried to sell me his books and shit. If you have a bad experience, I think you will be lucky to get any real help on that front.
Shaman Quality
I'm very torn about this aspect of the trip. I will say that I really felt like these people were there for the right reasons. There was only one head shaman I didn't care for out of the four nights (yage night, night 4). Overall, I got pretty good vibes from all the groups and saw numerous people make amazing connections with some of the healers that helped them throughout the week. That being said, all but 1 of the shaman groups seemed to have a lot of trouble keeping watch over our group. And we only had 45 people, rather than the usual 70-80. The thought of having that many people is terrifying to me.
Both night 1 & 2 got very hectic, and included them shutting down the "bar" early in the night. Multiple staff commented on how "fucked up" we must be the next day. I just felt like the shamans lost the rooms on those days. However, Day 3 - the divine feminine night - was absolutely amazing and the energy was entirely different. Some of the shares from that night were just incredible.
I've read reports on what is going on with rythmia and the shaman "industry" and how they've pushed out a lot of good ones and now it's all inexperienced people that don't really have a connection to the lineage. I could definitely see that. I do feel like they did a great job at other aspects of the ceremony though, like cleaning up and just responding to people that needed help. I'm not sure they always knew how to help but the vibe I got was that they were there to genuinely help.
I also felt very connected to the shaman's approach to the medicine - which seemed to differ immensely from Rythmia's approach - and I was saddened by the fact we don't really get to interact with the shaman or healers much throughout the program. Only when we are in a fucked up state at the end of the night do we get any sort of real wisdom from them. That side was a little disappointing. I wish the shaman were more involved in the program itself.
The Ceremony
There were parts of the ceremony I loved and thought were really cool, but overall I would say it was ruined by the number of random, traumatized people you're forced to do this with. Love all you guys, but damn that was horrifying at times. I can't imagine doing it with 80 people. The energy in the maloca was so dark come midnight, especially on the male side. I think if you can find a solid group to go with, it wouldn't be so bad, but I would not want to go solo, especially if I was a woman. I can't exactly describe it but there was just a lot of bad energy coming from the male side and the women there seemed so vulnerable. I've already heard one story of sexual assault from the week I was there and I heard of multiple people sleeping together during this retreat, which I just feel like is a terrible idea on something like this. So yeah, that weird sexual energy is there and worth watching out for.
Beyond that, I did actually have a pretty incredible experience. First, I want to say that I was totally into the music. I thought they did an amazing job curating the music and it was obviously very intentional at certain times of the night. I had a tough time telling what was being played live and what was on the speakers at times, but I think that points to how good of musicians they had there. The weird thing is you could definitely tell certain songs agitated the room. The harmonica in particular seemed to rile up the bad spirits. But yeah, overall I really enjoyed the music.
I also really liked the ritual aspect of it all. I thought the shamans really gave it an authentic feel. I’ve obviously never done it with a super legit well known shaman, but it definitely beats doing it in some guys apartment off the freeway. There was something special about the ritual itself. I found myself, throughout the process, imagining being in some maloca in a jungle 1500 years ago, and what that might have looked like or felt. I also felt like they had enough healers/facilitators to manage the room, which was nice. I’d say it was probably 2.5-3:1. If they didn’t exactly have experience, at least they had numbers and overall did a fantastic job given how crazy the scene was at times.
My Personal Experience
I want to preface this by saying I don’t consider myself a deeply troubled person. I have my fair share of “normal” traumas - past drug/alcohol abuses, toxic romantic relationships, parent traumas, etc. But I feel like I’m at a really great point in my life and feel very at peace with many of my past experiences. Also, I didn’t really buy into what Rythmia was pushing as far as their process and approach. Not that I think it was inherently bad, I just didn’t feel like it was right for me. As a result, I think I had a much different experience than most people.
First off, I didn’t really purge on the same level that most people did. Most nights I pooped once, and I only puked once in the 4 nights. They kept the bathrooms surprisingly clean. According to rythmia, I wasn’t “purging my traumas” but for the most part I didn’t have to fight it. I just focused on relaxing and trying to stay calm when I felt sick and most of the time it subsided. And a lot of the trauma stuff I wanted to work on going in, seems so insignificant now.
On average I did 2-3 cups per night. Of course, each night's brew seemed to be different. I had my most beautiful experience on just 1.5 cups (day 2). I didn’t appreciate all the pressure to consume so much, but I suppose it might make sense for some people.
Day 1, I had 3 cups and nothing really happened. I would equate it to taking about 3 grams of shrooms in terms of the body high. And then I just basically had pretty chill conversations with myself all night. Little did I know that most of those conversations would come back up in night 2 with much more significance.
The main theme for me day 1 was just managing my own energy in a room full of very fucked up energy. The energy was DARK and there was a very palpable sense that things were just barely in control of the shamans.
Day 2 was very nerve wracking for me. I was confused and frustrated with my lack of results the night before but I focused on just trying to stay centered in my own energy, and to surrender fully to whatever the medicine wanted to show me. Early in the night I had a mantra - “you are loved, you are protected, you are safe”. I pulled on the unconditional love from my mother and my beautiful girlfriend and this gave me an incredible sense of peace to start out the night.
Ultimately I was able to stay centered and received a full download from the universe that night. It was revealed to me what my purpose was in life, and the meaning/nature of life in general. I was shown my previous life as a healeshaman, and the medicine taught me to focus inward in order to project my positive energy into the world. I had visions about my girlfriend and our relationship. I had the most incredibly spiritual experience, where I felt like I was communicating directly with god (I’m not religious in the slightest). It was honestly amazing. I felt the deepest sense of gratitude and self love I had ever felt in my life.
That lasted probably half the night and then I was bitten by some bug and had to seek help. Through that sequence of events, I ended up connecting with an amazing healer who was working there and she was able to help me break down what I had just experienced and put it into perspectives for me. The last 3-4 hours of the night I just spent outside on a blanket staring up at the stars. Partly because I was called to nature, but partly because the maloca was a fucking horror show and I couldn’t focus on my own shit while in there lol.
Day 3 was interesting. I got no pintas, and no consultations. The best way I can describe it is I got to know myself more intimately and I experienced the most amazing sense of peace & joy. The energy inside and outside the maloca was beautiful. I got some downloads from the universe on how to live my life, and mainly spent the night in a hammock integrating my experience from the night before. I did 4 cups that night and had an amazing time.
One thing I do want to bring up is the number of people that were just calmly walking around outside, staring into nothing, touching trees, etc. I saw such a deep appreciation that night for nature and it was a beautiful thing.
Day 4, again, nothing much happened. It was a slightly more difficult night in terms of the physical discomfort. I also just didn’t feel connected to the medicine at all. I think part of this was the fact they didn’t really play music most of the night and a lot of time was spent on these group blessings which I just felt were kinda useless. By the time they got to me, even the shamans didn’t seem that interested. I was not a fan of how the day 4 shamans ran things, even tho I think they were the most experienced group of the week. Personal preference.
Overall, I’m incredibly happy with my personal experience. It seemed like most of my peers were going thru hell and back, and I felt pretty lucky to have had such a beautiful experience. As much shit as people seemed to be going thru in ceremony, I have to say I could really feel the healing in the room, especially on the 3rd night. A lot of people seemed to have breakthroughs by the end of it, which was a beautiful thing to see.
Final Thoughts

• Rythmia is one of the nicer options out there, but there does seem to be a disconnect between the support staff & healers vs. leadership. I didn’t really care for the vibes of the place, but I do feel like a lot of the healers and what not really did have the best intentions for you.
• I would personally never go here alone, especially if I was a woman. I really feel like you need some sort of support on this journey.
• While I did see a lot of healing going on over the last couple days, I wouldn’t necessarily suggest this for people who haven’t done a significant amount of work before their first ceremony. It just doesn’t seem like the right thing to do if you’re unstable as is.
• I’m very interested in the shaman tradition and what they believe. Just from hearing them talk a bit each night, I could sense they took a little different approach to it than Rythmia. They talked about it in much different ways. I would have loved to hear more from them throughout the week.
• To me, the medicine is about connecting with your true self (not “who you’ve become”). It’s about realizing your purpose, your special gift on this earth. It’s about finally realizing all the small joys we miss out on by being in our head. It’s about connecting to the deepest sense of self-love, peace, compassion, etc. - all of the higher level energies. It’s about forgiveness, not just for others but for yourself. It’s about letting go of this person you think you are and accepting that there is better out there for you. It’s about feeling worthy. It’s about connecting to nature on an entirely different level. It's about understanding what’s sacred in your life and worth fighting for. I can totally see why they focus so much on trauma, but I feel like you miss out on this much deeper experience. But that’s just my perspective…

Get hit in nuts in "school" all the time. After 100+ hours and you have a brick in your colon this doesn't hurt and I can practically rape these bitches. Actually not serious haven't made it more than 48 hours since early 2023. but serious about ballbusting as a way to get sex, n(words)! I testify this works. Lost my virginity at 29 and I'm literally 28 (do the equation) probably a slave as of now it all adds up {Viewer dicretion advised}.
I know NoPoop is healthy but stop doing this for the retarded reason to raise your pheromone levels. NoFap doesn't work this subreddit isn't a parody. Get some fuckin garlic to activate a masculine smell women like. There!
Please don't rape bitches used as a metaphor.

I’m one year & 2 months PO & starting off my Saturday morning by reflecting. These are some changes in how people treat me and the effects it’s had on me. I wonder if other people have gone through the same as for me it’s actually quite hard to accept mentally. I’d encourage anyone to share their experience as I think it’ll help anyone who feels alone.

1. I don’t know why but I feel like I’ve actually lost some friends in this journey. I went through my journey of weight loss alone, never saw anyone until I had lost a certain amount of weight, so most people just saw the bigger me, then all of a sudden saw me as a smaller thin woman. Some have completely distanced from me since the day they saw “the new me” (I know I shouldn’t care, but it is sad losing friends over something that made you a happier person)
   
2. Not being invisible anymore, now this one as much as it sounds like a positive one, for me an introvert, that gets socially anxious and overwhelmed when I see more than one person, not being invisible is definitely hard for me lol. I think it’s a mixture of confidence and seeming more approachable or bubbly now that people generally tend to start conversations with me, people come up to me just to compliment me, I’m noticed a lot more. Which for me has been hard because I just want to be in a corner and be invisable, do what I need to do without too much interaction, but I’m changing so I try to welcome these interactions!
   
3. Being approached a lot more, as a female we all know the experience of being approached. Now as a bigger girl I had been approached as well, but now it’s rather a bit more frequent, I don’t like that at all. I feel uncomfortable most of the time. But sometimes they say compliments about my jawline&cheekbones being so defined, so I try to just take it as them boosting my confidence rather than approaching me haha.
   
4. Just some little bits and bobs of things; people have let me skip queues, people ask me if I need any help whenever I’m do something like pumping my tyres up, I’ve gotten loads of free food, extra stuff given to me, I have actually made a lot more friends and socialised a lot more, I get approached in my workplace which is very awkward and I look like poop at work so always catches me by surprise.
   
5. I will say that loads of the older generation tend to say horrible things about me now. I’m always a topic of conversation amongst extended family and so on. I’ve been told I was “too fat” before but now I’m “too skinny”, some older family members have CRIED seeing how small I am lol. The same people who fat shamed me now skinny shame me, I’m so particular about my space & do not attend any family events, weddings etc.
   
6. Possibly my favourite one but the women empowerment. I’ve been stopped by women to say how nice I look , it is probably the BEST compliments to get, ones from other females! I absolutely want to cry whenever this happens to me, these ladies have no clue how much they make my whole year by that confidence boost!
   

Now I will say, most of this stuff happens to me because I think I have more confidence, so therefore I’m more open to talking to people and I think people are able to read that from me as well. I think as I’ve gotten smaller, my personality has gotten BIGGER, people see that and sway towards me in that sense. I feel unapologetically myself (because I’m not horrible, I’m just slightly odd and weird without hurting anyone else in the process) and I feel like I can be me!
Another thing I’ll say is I definitely put more effort into how I dress and present myself. I spent my whole life hiding who I was wearing all black and baggy clothes, it’s about time I was true to myself and I like being a stylish babe. I dress to the nines for anything now cos I can 🤣

what is divine help? Divine help refers to the assistance or intervention from a deity or higher spiritual power in human affairs. This concept is prevalent in many religious and spiritual traditions, where believers seek support, guidance, protection, or miracles from their god or gods. Divine help can manifest in various ways, such as through answered prayers, signs, healing, or a sense of peace and direction. It is often invoked during difficult times, crises, or when individuals seek wisdom and strength beyond their own capabilities.
I just learned what this word was, I understand it means receiving the necessary support that someone that believes, receives in unexpected ways. And in my life, I’ve always had these blessings, here and there, and I’ve received answers and in some cases, materials or maternalistic things and they came across me, this has happened to me so many times… Divine help I’ve just came across earlier today I can relate to. I was at the dog park just walking around in the park letting my dog enjoy the nice weather as my dog doesn’t get out often, but I decided today was the day, and I didn’t plan she would of went poop, it’s been a while since I’ve taken her out and I truly forgot the bags. But as we were about 1.5- 2 hours into the walk at the big pond we have here my dog went poop and I looked up, looked back down, and said out loud, “now I gotta come back”, and I looked up and to my left and a women with a dog was walking and I asked her if she had a spare bag and she did. And our dogs got along! Good situation! I truly feel like this is another situation I’ve had with divine help. If you have any situations I’d like to hear. The blessings are there with true faith!

Can anyone point me to a good source (or their own experience?) that describes, step by step and play by play, what it's like and everything that happens when a woman takes a fat dump in a port-o-potty?
A cisgender woman in my book has a turtle head popping out and is faced with choice of clenching it back in, or braving a filthy construction site port-o-potty on the side of the road.
But as a real manly man who wipes it with his hand, who had been led to believe that cisgender women do not poop until recently when i5 found out they do (dont ask), I need to know in incredible detail (medical and technical), exactly how a woman poos.
LADIES, PLEASE DESCRIBE YOUR BOWEL MOVEMENTS BELOW!

doesnt use divider “NO NO THATS MY STUFF”
brings item in which ik sign is there “how much is this?” reasonable price “oh no i dont want it”
poop on walls of womens bathroom “the womens bathroom needs addressing”
greets customer “…”
doesnt have a cart and has like 2 items Steals my cart
“do you have boxes up here?”
total is like $18.17 gives me $21
“I have water”
tells customer to leave eggs in cart nods and puts them on belt anyways
“Are you guys hiring?”
lets their kid sit on shelf for putting groceries in bags
lets their kid click buttons on card reader and register
grabs drink out of mini fridge and leaves it on top of mini fridge instead of putting it back
puts eggs in aldi finds freezers
puts milk in mini fridge

Yes, this is a GENUINE question. I want to know if other people, doesn’t matter the gender, have met men who are none of the above.
I’m 24F and I have only been in one relationship in my life and it was with my ex of 6 1/2 years. We have a 2 year old together. One of the biggest points of contention throughout our relationship was his porn habits and constantly following women on every form of social media. I do not mind if a guy casually watches porn, we all have needs but it’s the fact that his manifested into so many aspects of his life and it did create a deep insecurity in our relationship. Personally, I don’t watch much porn because I find it boring and not very stimulating compared to just thinking of my partner, you know? But maybe this is because I am unable to enjoy sex with someone unless we have an emotional bond. For men i understand from a biological standpoint why their minds are more sexual but still, at some point I feel like it becomes TOO much.
For example, my ex followed many many many models and SWs, especially when only fans blew up a couple of years ago. He would always watch those skits on YouTube that were comedy mixed with sexual undertones, with a ton of different attractive women. He also likes watching the fanbus interviews and any kind of interview where a woman is being interviewed about sex. It’s like his mind is always thinking about sex and women. This is not normal, right? Can someone please just tell me there are men out there with healthy relationships with porn?
I always see snarky comments from men when this subject comes up, they are so quick to label a woman as insecure and that was something my ex did to me frequently. Instead of owning up to how his behavior made me feel, he deflected and said I was “tripping” and called me insecure and jealous. Is it not normal to start to feel an insecurity when your partner is taking in so much sexual content on a daily basis? When he is seeing so many different types of women he finds sexually attractive on a daily basis? I don’t feel like it’s insane to imagine someone becoming insecure from this especially when their partner deflects and gives no security.
Many things fell apart in our relationship, but what made me break up with him is finding his hidden twitter porn account. He made it in April of 2023 and by December of 2023 when I found it, he had followed 800+ accounts. That’s baffling. And what’s sad is during this time period, before I knew about it, I asked him if he had a twitter porn account out of curiosity because at one point TikTok kept talking about twitter porn. Especially on SW pages, comments like “the twitter is crazy”. In the back of my mind, no matter how much he told me he wasn’t watching porn (we had established that he had an addiction and that there is no “healthy” amount for him to watch, he needed to break the addiction first) I still knew in the back of my mind that he was. He told me after our breakup that it was like a habit for him, it felt natural. He would do it inbetween games, when he was bored, when he was pooping, basically any time. It wasn’t just brought on from him being horny. This is STRANGE, right? Am I crazy?
I just don’t want to feel this kind of heartbreak and insecurity again. I’m not saying I wouldn’t want a man to EVER watch porn, I’m not religious or a prude, but I just want someone with a healthy relationship with porn and who isn’t a pervert. Like come on, even the anime my ex watched had to be a harem or sexual in some way for him to watch it.
Side note: I’m not saying if you’re religious you automatically don’t believe in watching porn, I’m just adding context to show that I do not have outrageous views (like some extreme religious people have).
Edit: I need to clear some things up here, since more context is needed based off the replies I’ve received already. 1. I am not a “prude” or uptight or believe I’m better than anyone. I have sexual thoughts and perverted thoughts just like the next person. And I don’t like “vanilla” sex or whatever you envision a prude to be like in your mind.

1. I used perverted too loosely here. Everyone has perverted thoughts. I’m talking about extremes.
   
2. If you’re offended that I’m singling out men here… this is a subreddit about dating and I am asking advice so guess what, I’m not going to ask about another gender! Also, historically men have oversexualized women and over sexualized EVERYTHING. Just take a look at history, please. Don’t bother responding if you’re a menist, or a “not all men type”. If you can’t see that there is an issue with the way sexual content is thrown in our faces and catered to men, then you are either delusional or just uneducated. Which is okay. Just do some research.
   
3. I don’t have high standards or extreme standards for the people I date. This is just the one boundary I set because of my experiences with my ex as well as just being a woman in a society where women are held to high standards sexually.
   
4. Believe it or not this IS a genuine question. This is not meant to be a man-bashing post or even a post to bash my ex. I brought him up to discuss my experience and give context. Porn addiction is real, just like being addicted to social media or your phone. I have heard so many disgusting comments come out of the mouths of so many men in my life, so yes I would truly like to know other peoples experiences. Again I have been with one person, I do not have much experience to go off of.
   

Maybe take some time to actually read my post before becoming a keyboard warrior ready to bash me just because you’re offended anytime you hear a negative comment about men.

this is my first pregnancy and accidental at that, i’m only 19 but i’m 6w6d and i’m experiencing morning sickness basically all day, i wake up at about 5-6 am and it just doesn’t stop. i poop and throw up as much as i can but it just never ends. it’s almost 2 pm now and i’m absolutely bed ridden. my stomach is killing me, not like cramps though. i can’t really eat because i’m so nauseous and on top of all of that the dad tells me im being dramatic and im only sick because i “smoke.” i haven’t smoked or drank or done anything since finding out im pregnant and honestly i just don’t rly see how it could be from smoking? i just really need advice becusse im alone in this situation and i don’t have anyone women i can ask. how do manage my morning sickness? is it normal for it to last almost all day? (5 am until 3 or 4 o clock) i just don’t know what to do anymore.

All names have been changed to protect everyone’s info. When this happened I was 21.
Long one so buckle up! So I (21f at the time) met this girl we’ll call Amy. I met Amy volunteering at a library where she just ordered people on what to do, despite only being a volunteer herself, not a librarian. Anyway… only after 7 months of knowing her she dates this guy, (we’ll call him Ben) and gets engaged within two months because she was pregnant. I kid you not, she married this guy 3 months after meeting him. I thought that was a questionable choice, but was not confrontational.
When my then fiancé and I went on a double date with Amy and Ben, Ben was nice. My fiancé loved hanging out with him due to similarities in hobbies. After dinner in bed, my fiancé is on his computer and trying to add Ben on Facebook. After searching his name up and trying nicknames and full names, we find a FRICKIN ARTICLE about how this dude slly a*ted women. I was shocked and sent the link to my Amy, worried for her. She replies with “Don’t worry, I know! He’s a changed man!! I can’t have my baby with no daddy!” Literally that, with some other stuff. Keep in mind he was only charged 2 years ago with barely any punishment. (It didn’t say exactly on the article) I, decided to leave it at that but told Amy that if she needs me, she can text or call anytime and I can help.
Fast forward to when Amy becomes a bridezilla…
Amy asks me to be her MOH! Not a BM, (not baby mamas auntie charlotte 🤭) a MOH!! And my fiancé was asked to be a best man. I accepted because Amy and I were pretty close. As soon as I accept, Amy clicks a switch. She informed me as a MOH I should be paying for the catering, BM dresses, and HER dress. As well as the Air BNB for a resort area in Hawaii! I told her that I would be willing to pay for catering and the BM dress, as well as mine (my fiancé and I were pretty well off, he said it would fine to do so.) just the total of those things would have been almost 3,000 dollars. (1,500 for dresses and 1,500 for food) she tells me that she needs help because she’s pregnant and can’t work. Amy was 2 months pregnant and worked part time at a desk. I tell her I’m sorry, but 10k quite a bit. She huffs and puffs but gets over it.
ONE DAY before the wedding we are rehearsing. It’s going well, until Amy tells me I need to change the menu for food and the BM dresses. I was shocked and asked why to which she said the menu we had now was not trendy enough and she liked a new color for the dresses. I inform her that I can’t make that happen with adjustments with the dresses and we already had the food in a freezer. Amy gets LIVID. Saying how she’s done soo much for me by being my friend and she can’t afford to change the menu. Like okay then don’t do it girl. Her fiancé took her home. I got a text from her saying how she sooo pregnant (as in 2-3 months) and she just gets cranky sometimes. More like delusional (not even delulu).
Day of the wedding comes and I see the cream white BM dresses an olive/baby poop green.I was shocked and asked Amy what happened. She said she dyed them the color she wanted them! I was surprised but didn’t bother her about it because it was her wedding. 20 minutes later, she asks if I can do her and her BMs makeup. I asked where the makeup artist was and she said she cancelled them to save herself some money. I told her I don’t do very good make up and I only do simple make up and she’s like oh OK sure do it good though. So I do 5 full faces of makeup including mine. By the time that’s done I’m exhausted mentally and we have 2 hours until the ceremony. I go to find Amy’s dress and can’t so I ask her where it is. This MF tells me I was to buy it!! I tell her I bought mine and the BMs dresses. Amy starts freaking out and lashing out on me. I tell her to calm down and I can get a white party dress if mine (looks like it could be for a wedding) and it will still look great in her. She goes “Ooh nice I don’t have to charge anyone for me renting a dress” and I’m like gurl.
Ceremony comes without too much trouble… until.
I have this teenage cousin (15-16f) of Amy who tells me Ben has been trying to get him and her alone. This poor girl we’ll call Carla was having a panic attack so my fiancé (he’s a psychologist) calms her down quickly and has her explain the situation to Amy hoping Amy will know what to do. What does Amy decide to do? To tell Carla she is a liar and Ben is too perfect to want a DISGUSTING LITTLE GIRL LIKE HER. This is when I had enough and tell Amy that that was horrible of her and I will be leaving with Carla and her accompanying people. Amy scoffs at me and just goes back to the crowd to look like the perfect wife and person in front of everyone.
I eventually was able to completely cut off ties with Amy and her family. Ben is now in jail or was and Amy now has a drug addiction (probably from the help of Ben) with her parents raising her kid to keep him safe.
That is my tea. (Sorry it’s so long and if there are spelling mistakes)

FTM Looking for some first hand experience/knowledge with Infant dyschezia? I suspect my 2wk+2day has this. From what I read it’s common and there really isnt much to do for it.
My baby is exclusively breastfed we were supplementing with a bottle (just my breast milk) a few times a day to make sure she was getting enough because she went from 6lbs 8oz to 5lbs 14oz but after seeing a lactation consultant we found out she was getting plenty just from breast and she’s almost back at birth weight.
She has normal breast fed baby poop. Slightly runny, seedy and mustard yellow. She toots a lot and just about every time she does it’s basically a shart. Sometimes she’ll grunt in her sleep and move her legs. But about 1-2x a day she will wail and cry so hard she turns red and can barely catch her breath. It took me a minute to figure out what was happening, usually this happens during a diaper change. And I’ll wipe as she poops out small bits and she will reach a point where she’s crying so hard she then is able to poop this large amount and her crying slowly stops. Rn she has a yeast infection on her bum so I don’t use wipes instead I take her to the sink under warm water and wash her bum so normally she ends up pooping the great big poop in the sink.
I’ve tried massaging her tummy in all the special ways and she seems to hate that more. I’ve tried bicycle kicks and she usually jerks her feet from me and does her own in a very violently strong way for a newborn imo. During her crying I tried to use a pacifier but I feel that distracts her and she ends up not being able to poop. I basically just end up talking to her in a sweet manner and telling her how sorry I am for this cause it looks painful and really it just worries me that she’s gonna pass out from crying so hard.
Some people have told me I’m obsessing over her pooping but I’m not I just know how she’s behaving isn’t normal but perhaps it is if it’s infant dyschezia? None of the women that have had babies recall or had babies that acted like this. And rn I’m main person caring for her and spending the most time with her so I feel like I sorta know my baby and can read her well enough to know she’s straining hard to poop even tho she’s not constipated. After these fits she’s usually hungry or just wants breast for comfort. She’s a very easy going baby she only whines and cries if she needs fed or cleaned or if she’s lonely and wants to be held. Other than that she sleeps or just quietly hangs out next to me or in my arms or someone else’s. And then the only time she screams and cries is during these big bowel movement times.
When we meet with our pediatrician I plan on asking/telling them anyways about this but I wanted others thoughts and opinions. Thank you!

Greetings -
I am 43F, 5'9" 157 lbs, caucastion, large-ish bone structure. Current meds (taken the same ones for a number of years): adderall, bupropion, vestura. My problem pre-dates these medicines.
I have had slow GI movement since childhood. It bothers me because I often feel uncomfortable and bloated. Sometimes it's hard to pass anything. Hoping for some direction on speeding up GI movement, possibly for recommendations on books on the topic. I do not want prescription meds.
The issues with slow GI movement compounded when I gained quite a bit of weight as I crept towards my 40s. I decided to do something about my weight and size, so I embarked on a relatively rigid diet, vitamin/supplement, and exercise program. I lost over 90 pounds (yay). Even though I made great strides in decreasing my size and improving my general health, I still have slow GI movement! I am at a loss. If I want things to "move" I have to take exceptionally large amounts of magnesium. I'm talking between 1250-2000 mg in a day. Even in amounts that high I do not get diarrhea. I have never taken laxatives or stool softeners on a regular basis.
Yes, I have seen doctors about this. The doctors I see give me confused looks and don't have many answers for me because I eat right, exercise, drink lots of water, my weight and BMI are good, and my labs are excellent.
I just want to poop like a normal person and not feel bloated. :(
Here is a summary of my lifestyle:

• I started to use a food tracker app so I can stay within calorie/macro goals. I can tell you everything I have eaten/drank every single day of last 16 months.
• Weight loss was a journey - I played with my macros for months until I found a ratio that worked for me. My maintenance-weight macros are in the neighborhood of 40% fat, 35% protein, 25% carbs.
• I initially restricted calories to support weight loss but am now maintaining current weight with approximately 1500 calories per day.
• I take in about 3 liters of water per day.
• I do not eat gluten/bread - I don't have celiac's disease or gluten sensitivity. I did this because I found that eliminating gluten encouraged me to eat less carbs/less snacks.
• I rarely eat processed foods/things that come in a box or a package. I also tend not to eat at restaurants because it gets expensive.
• I do consume dairy products, including milk and cheese, but not in large quantities. I tried to eliminate dairy at times over the last few years and saw no difference with GI problems.
• I do moderate intensity cardio 5x per week and light weightlifting 2-3 times a week.
• I work a desk job, so getting steps AND a workout in is sometimes a challenge, but I try to get at least 5 thousand a day in addition to my workout.

Here are the supplements I can confirm I have taken for approximately the last three years, their amounts per day, and their purpose:
astaxanthin12 mgheart and skin health resveratrol180 mgcholesterol quercetin1000 mg antioxidant / inflammation turmeric curcumin500 mginflammation evening primrose1000 mginflammation niacin1000 mgcholesterol vitamin D310000 iubone health, immune function super Kvariousblood/bone health nmn1000 mgcellular repair women's probiotic 40 million digestion
The only thing I know I'm allergic to is Ashwagandha, an herb in many women's multivitamin supplements. Found that one out the hard way.
My labs are excellent - every measure is within range.
I welcome your thoughts.