I just saw the second trailer for Quiet Place: Day One and at the 1:37 mark the gentleman on the left side of the couch looks very much like Ian Mckellen. Is this actually him? I cannot find any reference of him being in the movie and IMDb's cast pics are none existent, so no help there in finding who it may actually be.

Hi all! First off, so glad this sub reddit exists because it was a life saver when I was making decisions on my own ACLr and knowing what to expect from surgery. I'm a 2x cancer surviver, Paramedic, Rugby player, and now have been a caregiver to my partner who just celebrated 3 months from her own ACLr. I collected a bunch of advice and tips and tricks that I have used both during cancer treatment, my own experience with ACLr, and now through care taking my partner through hers. I know there have been guides before, but mine is a bit different and aimed at caregivers so I thought I'd post it here since ya'll helped me so much instead of it just circulating the rugby community every time a teammate or friend has to have ACLr or some other reconstruction. Hope it's allowed and helps!
A Cancer Patients Guide To Knee Reconstruction Recovery
A Comprehensive Guide To Surviving and Thriving In the Pre and Post-op Period Built From The Perspective of Caretaker and Patient.
Before The Date
__/__/____

Preparation

It is important to adequately prepare for surgery in the weeks and days leading up to the procedure. A significant period of immobility and reliance on support can be expected immediately post-op and will vary by procedure and personal experience. Physical modification of living space and thorough preparation allows for the immediate post-op period to be free of emergency store runs and the small inconveniences that can add up to big frustration. Not having food and drink nearby as well as other essentials may be a small deal now, but can turn into a big deal when you can no longer get those things for yourself. While physical preparation (home modifications, adaptive tools, meal prepping, etc.) are important, mental preparation is crucial to the long term success of the repair. Making small, achievable goals in the immediate post-op period and maintaining a long sighted view of recovery will make the pain and immobility that is initially experienced more bearable. Additionally, social support through a partner, family members, or friends is an essential part of recovery, as is maintaining contact with sports teams or other social groups during rehabilitation.

General PEARLs

• Pre-surgical rehab is an essential part of recovery and can improve immediate outcome so if it is a resource available to you- use it!
• Learn the basics of your procedure such as reconstruction technique, graft type, surgeons recovery timeline, where you will do your rehab, and what you should expect going into and coming out of surgery. Knowledge is power and can give a sense of control and set reasonable expectations in a situation that is otherwise out of your control.
• Seek out positive experiences and recovery stories from other people who have had your procedure and gather as much advice as possible from resources such as ACL. Know that some people will have negative experiences, everyone is an individual, and that much of your long term recovery is in your control.
• Expect and learn to advocate for yourself or the person you are taking care of. Be vocal and honest with any needs you may have and understand that issues may come up in the immediate post-operative time that you as a patient or caregiver may have to contact your surgeon to resolve. Familiarize yourself with who to call and when *before* you leave after surgery, as well as being quick to call with any questions or problems that arise. It is better to be told that what you are experiencing is normal than to sit with the anxiety of the unknown.
• Create a folder with all relevant information: Surgeons name, procedure information, follow-up appointment dates and times, phone numbers, emergency contacts, facility of choice in an emergency situation, and any other important information. Maintain this folder throughout your recovery and add paperwork as it comes.

Days Leading Up To Surgery

• Contact support people and confirm any arrangements that have been made including but not limited to: Who is taking you to/from surgery, child or pet care, transportation to first PT appointments, meals, etc.
• Recommended Items we found essential:
  • Ice Machine (Polarcube, etc) if at all possible
    • Recommend checking facebook marketplace or other second hand options, as they cost hundreds new but can be found for $40 or so used.
    • Studies have shown these do actually reduce pain and lend to earlier mobilisation and our experience has shown this to be essential not just immediately post-op but in the weeks and months afterwards so if you *can* obtain one you absolutely should.
  • Large sweatshirt and oversized shorts for surgery day, especially if you wear a bra, as putting clothes on after surgery can be a struggle and it’s easiest to just throw on a sweatshirt and shorts that fit over your post-op bandages and brace.
    • In particular, we found a blanket hoodie to be very useful both for going home and the first few days as it could stay on when moving around/when napping.
  • Neck Pillow
    • Helps with reading or other activities during long hours spent in bed or on the couch and really helped in the first two days to prevent neck strain and provide head positioning during napping.
  • Large pillows for body positioning and elevation of the leg
    • We found cheap, giant, dog beds from places like TJ Max or Marshalls to be more affordable than specialty products
    • A large, thin, dog bed (or blanket) rolled into a tube and secured with stretch bandage or tape around the surgical leg and brace helped significantly with comfort during sleep so that the leg was padded, comfortable, and the other leg didn’t get roughed up from the brace.
  • A shower chair
    • Can be found used at second hand stores like Goodwill, or cheap online
    • Easy substitute is a chair covered in a trash bag
    • Allowed showering the second day post-op which was a huge mental boost and relieved physical discomfort and achy muscles
  • Extra large leg cast cover
    • Can be found cheap online
    • Placed around outside of brace covering the entire leg initially, we then found it easier to place on the leg and place the brace outside of the cover for the remaining healing period for the incisions: We did this after the first PT appointment when it was safe to take off the brace for short periods while laying down. We acquired a second post op brace from a friend (you can find on eBay for cheap) and it was amazing to have, as we could let it dry after showering and immediately put her post op brace back on.
  • Foldable stool
    • Great for elevating the leg during transfers, while on the toilet, etc.
  • Lap Desk
    • Great for eating on the couch or in bed, but we also found it useful as a side table for holding drinks/meds/remotes/books that could be taken to whatever room they landed in at the time
    • A small table works as well, really just anything that can be used to set things on within arms reach
  • Assortment of sodas, water, seltzers, snacks, etc.
    • There is no way to know what you will want and when, but when you want it it’s nice to *have* it available
    • Appetite often decreases after surgery so make sure to have favourites on hand so that when you *are* hungry you have it immediately before your body changes its mind
  • A big bucket
    • We used a soft plastic beach type bucket from the dollar store, it was extremely useful to have to put small items in, a small towel, a spare water bottle, extra meds, baby wipes, etc.
    • Also doubled as an emergency puke bucket, as you never know when a sudden bout of nausea might hit in the first day or two after surgery
  • Extra reusable ice packs and bags of ice
    • Your home ice maker will not be able to keep up with the demands of constant icing the first week or so
    • Reusable ones are great for ‘hot spots’ and short trips where you can’t take the ice machine
  • Extra steri-strips and assortment of bandages
    • Sometimes there’s extra leakage, sometimes your steri-strips come off and you need to slap a new one on, sometimes you’re allergic to the ones they put on you at the hospital. Always consult a medical professional, but it’s handy to have these on hand just in case.
    • We also used a bulky padded bandaid to keep the brace off the healing incisions once the large post-op dressing was taken off which helped immensely.
  • Compression sleeves
    • Aside from helping with swelling these also provided a layer of protection under the post-op brace
    • We found cheap ones at Wal-Mart (copper brand) but also just bought a cheap pair of leggings a size down and cut off one of the legs to use before getting a more expensive one once swelling had fully subsided after a few weeks. Your leg will change so cheap works great at first, then you can get something a bit more substantial when you know what you’ll need long term. Now she wears high compression socks to sleep 3 months out.
  • Slide on shoes
    • Self explanatory, bending down to put on shoes becomes a chore after surgery. Avoid flip flops or other styles that can become a trip hazard.
  • Baby Wipes/Dude Wipes/etc.
    • Wiping down after you get home from surgery can help prevent that icky feeling and restore some sense of normalcy, then can be used over the next few days before you can shower more normally
  • Lotion and chapstick
    • Hospitals dry out your skin big time, and lips are often cracked post surgery from intubation/LMA placement
  • Small, easily labelled tupperware containers
    • Regular pill containers are too small to hold pain meds, OTC pain meds, anticoagulants such as aspirin, supplements, and edibles or other small things you take with your medication. We got small tupperware boxes with lids from the dollar store.
    • We found it very convenient to have six sets of meds set up and labelled with times which meant we never missed doses and could leave the next dose of meds at bedside, take them with us when going to appointments, and keep up with what had been given and when.
  • Small notebook to record med times and other important information
  • Two extra changes of clothes already setup and ready to go
  • Compression device
    • We are athletes so we already had leg compression sleeves but these days off brand versions can be bought online cheap. Studies have shown these lead to reduced pain, increased mobilisation, reduced the chance of blood clots, and there is even some evidence they help with bone healing.
    • We used it 3 days post op and beyond and her range of motion was significantly improved after the first time.
  • A yoga strap
    • Excellent for strapping to the brace and moving the surgical leg
• If possible, pick up post-op medications prior to surgery to prevent any unexpected delay in obtaining them. If this is not possible, verify that the prescription can be filled the day of the surgery by your selected pharmacy and that it has been filled prior to leaving after your surgery. Controlled substances cannot be transferred to another pharmacy without a new prescription sent directly from the provider. You do not want to be trying to get in contact with a physician in the hours after surgery, unable to manage pain, before the pharmacies close for the night.
• Do a thorough clean of your living area, it will make the time after surgery when you cannot independently do normal activities more bearable and a neat organised space is easier to function in when your body is not cooperating. Take special attention to removing tripping hazards and clearing a wide path from wherever you plan to spend your recovery and the bathroom.
• Plan to spend the first couple of days in one spot and on one floor and set up that area the day before surgery. If you have a downstairs bathroom a floor mattress or well setup couch can be your landing pad until you are more mobile and is the easiest during the immediate post-op period. That being said, if you don’t, it’s easier to get upstairs by sliding up on your bum immediately post-op when your pain is still well controlled than realise that you have no bathroom downstairs a few hours later when the pain has started to set in. Wherever you intend to land, plan on staying there at least a couple of days and bring all your supplies to that area. Plan to lay with your surgical leg on the outside of what you are laying on, this makes transferring easier.
• Have your recovery bed setup the day before surgery and prepared for when you return before you leave the day of, including blankets and your supply table setup.
• Meal prep, whether that means cooking or getting easy to make microwave meals is up to you. You won’t feel like cooking and neither will your caretaker the first few days. High protein, easy to eat meals are key! We had chicken and broccoli casserole, egg and sausage frittata, and lots of applesauce the first few days and it was a lifesaver not to have to think about meals.
• Spend some time mentally preparing for the long haul of recovery and make long term plans that fit within your timeline. For example, we planned to attend a rugby game five days after surgery *but* planned nothing else for that day and the next day. We also planned hiking trips the next fall, and other events appropriate for her timeline along the way that could be looked forward to and keep up morale. Remember that this is temporary and that it is okay to be recovering and resting, expect hard moments and days but keep things planned so you don’t get stuck in those down places.
• Eat your favourite meal and eat well the day before surgery. Your body needs fuel to recover and fasting the day of surgery sucks. As weird as it sounds, after multiple surgeries, the pre-surgery night meal of whatever I want is one shiny thing in a crappy situation to hold on to.
• Plan for what you want your first meal to be and consider making a playlist for the ride to and from surgery. Small things, again, help maintain a sense of control and comfort in a situation where you are largely out of control and these things can be done with friends or support people in the days leading up to reduce anxiety and pass time.
• Hit the gym, take a walk, do a hike, visit places or do things you enjoy but won’t be able to do in immediate recovery! We took my partners knee to one last tournament before her surgery, it helped pass time and kept spirits high.

Day Of And Immediate Post-Surgery Phase

• Maintain fasting starting at whatever hour you are told. Some people can drink clear liquids up to a certain point, others are completely nothing by mouth. Your instructions will guide you on this.
• Before leaving home double check that everything is set up how you need it and place a blanket, pillow, drink, and snack of choice in the car. You may or may not need it but if you do it is important to have. Make sure your ice packs are in the freezer ready to go!
• Bring your own post-op snack if you are picky or have food allergies, otherwise you’re stuck with whatever graham cracker and applesauce combo the facility gives you.
• Go with the flow, or as I always say “surrender”. Feel what you feel, have a cry in the car before you go in, listen to your playlist, bring your blanket or other comfort items into pre-op, tell your support person what’s going through your mind, tell your pre-op staff how you’re doing, ask all the questions, and most importantly just do what you have to do. For some people surgery can be overwhelming and the loss of control frightening, but fighting only makes it worse, so whatever you are just be it. I’m pre-op pacer myself, but some people just snuggle up under some warm blankets and wait. Either way, just let the waves take you where they go and know you’re along for the ride. Remember that future you with a healthy joint thanks you for what you’re doing today.
• Speak frankly with your anesthesiologist and utilise any pain control or anxiety control options given to you. There is no award for least meds taken or toughest patient of the day. If a nerve block is available, know that you can request sedation for its placement, and utilise that option if at all possible.
• Caregivers should bring something to keep them entertained and be prepared for a long period without update once surgery has started. Honour your feelings as well, it can be tough to watch someone you care about go through this! Consider having someone to act as a support person for you as well through text or phone, that way you can divert your own worries or struggles to them and away from the person having surgery while still making sure you are also taken care of.
• Make sure that pain is well controlled before leaving after surgery. You have more options there than you will at home and getting things under control once pain has become unbearable can be very difficult.
• Make sure you note when the next dose of medication is due, what medication they should be taking, and write it down.
• Double check contacts from your surgeons office and add any post op paperwork to your folder in case you need the information later.
• If your post-op meal requires picking up, or your prescription, try and do that immediately after leaving surgery even if you are not hungry yet. This is the most comfortable you will be for a while and your support person will be unable to leave for at least that day and night. I have been known to peruse the big gas station after surgery in search of snacks, my partner however simply waved to the nice people at the drive through and napped the rest of the way home before eating some hours later.
• Once you get home crash wherever you plan on spending the rest of the time. Don’t have friends or family over that first day. Just go ahead and sleep through the rest of the anaesthesia and get comfortable.
• Try and keep your home cool, and consider keeping the room dim for the first few hours if not days. Sleep is precious and pain meds can make you hot, and getting hot can lead to nausea. It is better to have the home cool and the person snuggled under blankets and comfortable than be trying to cool someone down who just had surgery and got too hot and is now dizzy, nauseous, and miserable. The least stimulation for the first little while the better, and naps will happen throughout the rest of the day and over the next few days. A cool, dim place lets this happen much easier than a bright, warm place where they might be overstimulated or awakened by noise or activity.
• If allowed, try and activate the quad muscle immediately after returning home and once every few hours by having them squeeze it and feeling for contraction while in the brace. Some people will be able to begin range of motion exercises immediately and if so, make sure to do them as soon as allowed even if that means just helping them by doing gentle manual range of motion movements in the brace.
• If it’s not already on, begin continuous icing as soon as you come out of surgery either by meticulously timing the replacement of ice packs or with the ice machine. Make sure to check the ice machine, replace ice as often as needed, and keep it on *continuously* for the next few days. For us this meant I checked it at every medication dose throughout the night and added ice during that time as well. We went through frozen mini water bottles and bags of ice like crazy the first week.
• Elevate the surgical leg as high as possible, placing support under the heel and calf but not directly under the knee to promote extension and prevent more headaches with gaining range of motion later on.
  • We found that icepacks directly under the knee helped tremendously with the discomfort associated with this.
• Anticipate that bathroom trips will not be fun or easy and take them extremely slow. As a caregiver allow the person to guide you on what they need and don’t need your help with and avoid grabbing or moving someone unexpectedly. Standing, acclimating to being upright, and then proceeding to the bathroom is the best way to do things and rushing will only result in frustration for both of you. A rolling chair or wheelchair can be helpful, but for some people standing up and sitting down is harder than just moving on to the bathroom. Pay attention as a caregiver and know that it is possible they may need your help getting off the toilet or back from the bathroom so be close by and available should that happen. For the first few days do not lock the bathroom door in case of an emergency.
• Place chairs or things to sit on around your path to the bathroom, kitchen, etc. And consider a small backpack or using a rolling chair to carry items around the house.
• Once you know when your next dose is, set alarms for each time your doses are due. If using the med boxes this makes doing meds and keeping track very easy, as they are each labelled with a time and all we had to do was open the box and take the meds instead of finding each bottle and dosing each med individually each time. As the days went on we were able to re-label and time the boxes as needed and remove meds as needed or adapt to what was needed when sleeping or up during the day.
  • For example day 1 would look like:
    • First post-op doses at 4pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 8pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, 10mg edible, 12.5mg diphenhydramine (itching and sleep), stool softener, and regular night time meds.
    • Midnight box: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 4AM: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, edible (if nauseas or restless).
    • 8AM box (preparing to get up): 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, aspirin, stool softener, normal morning meds.
    • 12pm: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, 800mg ibuprofen.
    • Repeated on time, reducing pain med dose as tolerable, and refilling boxes 1x a day.
• If possible do scheduled tylenol (paracetamol) and ibuprofen (or another NSAID), alternating them on the dosing schedule, and take them religiously even through the night. This also goes for additional pain medications, which you will also need to wake to take through the night if you are prescribed for at least the first night.
• Staying on schedule might mean waking up in the night, but it’s better to be awoken to take meds than to wake up in pain and spend several hours trying to get it under control. You may find you seldom need them if your nerve block is in place, or you may just not need very much at all during your recovery. It is easier to trial run this after the first day by stretching out the time between doses from 4 to 6 to 8 and then potentially off entirely, but everyone will have their preferences.
• Eat a small snack with every med dose and keep emergency meds (extra pain med doses, nausea meds, etc.) at bedside as well as the next set of meds due so they can be taken when it is time.
• We found that edibles were a great addition to pain and nausea control after surgery. There are medication options available and having at least one option for nausea is advisable for the first few days after surgery when anaesthesia and medication can really make you want to puke.
• Expect absolutely nothing in the first few days post-op. Some people will feel well enough to move around, others will not be able to do anything but get up to use the bathroom. Expecting nothing is better than expecting more and being disappointed or frustrated. I would highly suggest not making plans until your first follow up 7 or so days after surgery.
• Be obsessive about icing, meds, any PT you have been given, and keeping track of appointments. Give yourself the best start to your recovery that you can and you will thank yourself later!

Hey everyone! Just recently had surgery on Thursday 16 of May. I'm on day 5 post op. Feeling good pain is now minimum but still getting some bits of sharp pains here and there. I don't have a cast, instead the doctor put a splint and wrapped it to keep my foot secured. I've been in bed for the past 5 days and I'm starting to get a bit frustrated now of being bed locked.
I get up to use the restroom but I noticed if I put my foot down it starts to hurt like a mutha fucka. I feel lots of pressure and sharp pain all over my foot and lasts about 5 min or so before it goes away. Only way to prevent it is to keep my foot elevated with something while I use the bathroom. Is this normal, did anyone have the same experience? I have my checkup tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to moving around and having my foot down, since I can still feel pain if I put my foot down. And I would love to be able to move to the couch or use my computer but the thought of the pain rushing in from putting it down is concerning and scares me.
Been taking day by day but sometimes I feel a bit frustrated and hopeless.

Recently there was a true crime episode on the murder of Colleen Slemmer by her Jobs Corp classmates Christa Pike, Pike's boyfriend Tadaryl Shipp and another friend. It was a spontaneous, gruesome murder, that took place in the woods of Tennessee.
Slemmer, was lured out under false pretenses of smoking weed in a nearby park with who she thought were her friends. She was murdered, left partially unclothed, her upper body completely exposed. And though the primary motive wasn't a ritualistic sacrifice, in the course of the attack a Satanic star or pentagram was carved into the victim's chest.
Though the satanic piece to the crime was an afterthought by the killers, it did link the crime to two of them, as Christa Pike and her boyfriend, Shipp, practiced Satanic Worship. The murder was motivated by jealousy and rage, but even so, the symbolism left behind, might have solved the crime on its own.
There might be parallels to be found between a crime like the Slemmer murder, and what happened in Delphi.
The Delphi murders don't have to have been motivated primarily by a sacrificial ritual for the symbolism of such a ritual left at the crime scene, to lead to the killer or killers of Abby and Libby.
Coincidences do occur. Correlation does not necessarily imply causation. But when there is evidence that keeps pointing to a particular group of people, some of whom had a direct connection to one of the victims, I do not understand how this evidence is not followed up on to the fullest extent that the law allows. How is it just cast aside, especially when three respected investigators who performed their own investigation are convinced there is something there? Referring to Click, Ferency and Murphy.
Even if the killing of Abby and Libby was initially motivated by something other than a sacrifice, the mark of their killers at the scene, almost certainly will lead back to who did this. The crime scene was too distinctive and unique for it not to. All persons are innocent until proven guilty, and that's important to factor in. But even if innocent, there certainly appears to be some connection between certain individuals practicing Odinism and hanging out at Delphi Vinlander club, and the Delphi murders---evidence connecting them to these murders that might actually solve this case.
Here is the list of evidence that has still not been turned over to the defense, even though this case was scheduled to be in trial as this is written (from 2nd Motion to Dismiss).
Why?

The Exculpatory Nature of the Missing Evidence
Currently, the list of missing evidence that the prosecution has not turned over to the defense includes the following:
a. Video of BH’s first interview from February 17, 2017.
b. Video of LH’s interview from February 17, 2017.
c. Data from BH’s phone extraction from February 17, 2017.
d. Video from BH’s second interview with law enforcement taken at the Logansport Police Station sometime in 2017 or 2018.
e. Audio taken from BH’s second interview with law enforcement taken at the Logansport Police Station sometime in 2017 or 2018.
f. Any reports, notes or documents concerning or referring to BH’s second interview at the Logansport Police Station sometime in 2017 or 2018.
g. Mimicked Crime Scene Photo observed by Trooper Purdy on BH's social media page. h. Images Ryan Boucher sent to Trooper Winters on April 12, 2017.
Notice that all missing items are related to third-party suspect BH

Previous Part
At some Point Bianca and I both fell back asleep. It was all I could do at this point, getting whisked away back to those mines seemed inevitable so I might as well sleep. The morning did not go well, largely due to Bianca, who threw me off the couch with a scream when she woke up.
“What’re you doing!”
Bianca squeaked, hand darting towards her pants pocket where her dagger would usually be. I woke up very quickly somewhere between the couch and the floor. I was fully awake by the time I was pushing myself back to me feet, raising my hands in a gesture of surrender.
“What’s going on?! You’re fine you just fell asleep on my couch!”
“Why were you… why was I?”
“Hey, calm down alright. We had a few drinks last night and I guess we both fell asleep on the couch together, that’s all that happened.”
I explained, leaving out the part where she pulled me back when I tried to go to my own room earlier.
“Yeah… yeah ok. Ugh my head is killing me.”
Bianca groaned, taking a breath or two then putting her head in her hands. I didn’t have the heart to tell her she was probably hungover so I just went to the kitchen to make something for her.
I decided on toast and some bananas, it was always a go to for me after a long night. In hindsight I probably should’ve seen her reaction coming. Look at what she did in the caves because that guy grabbed her, it can’t be that much better waking up on someones shoulder and not quite remembering it. The whole thing did give me second thoughts though. If she was such a live wire did I really want her stressing out over the trials and whatever that would bring? I suppose it was too late for that though, she’d already moved herself into my house so she could keep watch, for all the good that did seeing as Shaoni waltzed right in last night.
I still had a lot on my mind when the smell of burning toast sobered me up. I swore and ran over to salvage what I could of the blackening toast.
“What’s burning in here?”
Bianca asked a little worry creeping into her voice. She still had her head clasped firmly between her hands as she walked into the kitchen.
“Breakfast”
I replied flatly, holding my arms out to either side gesturing to the mild chaos I was causing. Bianca gave me an questioning, “thanks” and grabbed the plate I had made for her while I tried to think of what to do next. Like it or not, Shaoni had people coming to pick me up and take me back out to those caves today. I had to come up with some kind of game plan and right now, it seemed letting Frank and Stein know was the best idea.
Bianca stayed back at my place nursing her hangover when I left to visit the mad scientist duo. I had no problem with that, in fact it was probably best because I’m sure she would’ve insisted on going with me if she heard I planed to take Shaoni’s “invitation”. I wasn’t sure if Shaoni would let me take Bianca with me and personally I’d rather not push her buttons and try to negotiate bringing a plus one.
“Have you seen Bianca at all?”
Frank asked hurriedly as I came in. I was afraid of this, She hadn’t told them anything and just disappeared.
“Yeah, she pretty much moved the contents of her room to my couch yesterday. Something about keeping an eye on me, she’s fine though, I wouldn’t worry.”
I answered, a little worried myself that I’d catch hell from them if they knew she was currently working her way through her first hangover on that same couch. Frank seemed to calm down at that and finally got to asking the important questions like why was I back in the house… again.
“So let us get this straight, you just plan to go right to Shaoni?”
Frank and Stein said together in disbelief as the three of us sat at the kitchen table.
“It’s not like I really have a choice in the matter, besides I can’t really fight her if she wants me to go somewhere. If I try a stunt like that things go from bad to worse for me.”
They both shook their heads in solemn agreement, recognizing I was right.
“Anyways, I had a thought on the way over here, Thunderbirds are something from native American legend right? Well, if we’ve found a real one wouldn’t she have ties to a tribe or something in the area? She was sleeping here when they woke her up in the mine, maybe there was a reason for that, maybe she was close to home?”
I explained, hoping g they’d catch on to what I was asking.
“What exactly are you getting at then Keith?”
Frank questioned, furrowing his brow with an intrigued look on his face. Stein just remained silent but I could tell he was thinking, maybe even coming to the same conclusion as I had.
“What I’m thinking, is we check reservations in the area. Maybe they know something about the creature from their legends that just so happened to be sleeping nearby. I know it’s a stretch but maybe we could learn something useful. I’d go myself but I’m not going to have the chance. You guys though, you guys could take Bianca and Rocco with you and ask around.”
I explained, hoping I was onto something. I was pulling at straws but it was the best idea I had at a moments notice. Plus it would get Bianca out of town for a little while when I was figuring out what exactly Shaoni’s trails would mean for me.
“Keith that’s… no that actually makes sense let me check some maps.”
Stein agreed, walking away and into the basement. He came back a few minutes later with a map in his hand.
“There’s a Seneca reservation not to far from here, maybe 30 miles. That’s not the only one but I have a friend there from years ago, someone I helped. There’s a good chance he’d be willing to return the favor.”
“Great, then I’ll count on you. I’ll let Bianca know, I’m sure she won’t be happy about it but I’ll feel better if she’s with all of you.”
I walked out in a rush to get back home, almost stepping on Rocco on my way to the door. He made a frightening chittering hissing sound at me as he leapt out of my path. I briefly wondered where he was going and what he was up to, probably better I didn’t know though. As I got onto the bike and headed back towards home I hoped I’d be able to talk Bianca into going along with this plan. I was sure she’d rather come with me but after this morning I wasn’t sure she was ready for that. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure she wants to help and I know she means well but she’s jumpy and snaps at the littlest things. I didn’t want her to make things worse by accident or get hurt because she froze up again. My mind was made up as I drew nearer to my house but as it turned out I’d never have the chance to talk to Bianca. As soon as I rounded the corner I saw the rusty pick up waiting in front of my house, I’d arrived just in time to meet Shaoni’s “helpers”.
The men looked normal, just like the people in the cave. Come to think of it they could very well be those same people. I waved them over as I came to a stop in-front of the house.
“Can I just go in and grab a few things?”
I asked the three men sheepishly as I walked up.
“No, your late as it is, we’ve got to get going.”
A scruffy looking man with a gruff voice said from the drivers seat. Two men got out from the back of the truck and grabbed my arms, pulling me into the back seat. They weren’t rough with me but they were very firm. Like they wanted to hurt me but were ordered not to so they just made a show of force. After I was loaded into the back I saw the reason for their demeanor. One of the men, the one in the front passenger seat, was wrapped in bandages. The bandages covered his abdomen and snaked up around the back of his neck. It was pretty obvious to me that this was the man Bianca had stabbed. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say these four were probably the same ones we had encountered in the cave. As I turned and looked out the window I saw Bianca’s face peaking out of it. She looked angry and scared, like she knew exactly what was happening but she didn’t move. Bianca just sat there, watching me be taken away and I cursed myself for not being just a little bit faster on the ride back.
We took a way out of town I’d never seen before, turning away from the road leading to the dirt path we had biked down on our expedition into the forest. Instead we drove back through town, past Bianca’s house and the Eagle’s Roost before hanging a right onto a road I’d never been down. Eventually the road made its way into the forest and ended at a wooden sign warning that the road was impassable ahead. The driver stopped the truck and got out as another man emerged from the woods, holding up his hand and opening it to reveal the eagle tattoo I’d become so familiar with. The driver rolled up his sleeve and showed his own similar tattoo. Without a word he got back into the truck and the other man moved the sign off the road. It didn’t fill me with confidence to see the entrance to this place watched in such a way. It would make sense to have it hidden but being so brazenly out in the open meant they didn't really care who saw it. Not that anyone would think anything other than that the road was impassable but still. The truck eventually pulled off the road and into the woods, following a newly made track that lead to the entrance of the old mine that we escaped from just 2 days ago.
“I think you know your way in.”
The driver growled at me, parking the truck and signaling me to step out.
“Your just letting me walk myself in? Couldn’t I just run?”
“You could but do you think you could outrun her?”
He asked threateningly, pointing up at the sky. I knew exactly who he was talking about and no, I didn’t like my chances of running from Shaoni.
“She gave us all orders to leave any runners to her.”
At that moment I decided it may be good idea to be on my best behavior.
“Yeah that’s what I thought.”
The driver barked back at me as I obediently walked towards the entrance.
Walking into the mine I realized it had undergone a huge transformation in a very short time. The walls were now host to several torches that lit the pathway back down to the coliseum. It felt like I was walking into the dark ages as I made my way down into this pit by torchlight. Although I had to admit it was homey in an “evil layer” kind off way. The coliseum was lit up with torchlight as well but its not what drew my attention. Where the awful metal structure met the stone roof of the cave I looked into a brewing storm. Lightning flashed across the roof but there was no sound of thunder. Raindrops shown in the shadows cast by the lightning but I felt none of them on my skin. I had to admit, it was a pretty impressive trick. Paintings adorned the walls, all of them seeming to be tribal in nature. Many seemed to be various depictions of the thunderbird.
“Well at least she doesn’t have an ego”
I chuckled to myself as I walked into the center off the coliseum.
There were four other people waiting in the center of the floor. A clean shaven, well dressed man relaxed against the wall of the arena. He had perfectly trimmed slicked back blonde hair and a chiseled face. His rippling muscles seemed to be for vanity rather than strength. Just by looking at him I could tell I wasn’t going to like him. The only one of the bunch I knew, Robert, stood on the far side of the coliseum, watching me approach. He looked about the same as he had from the brief glance I got at the Eagle’s Roost. Balding white hair and a unkempt beard hung off his sagging face. Despite his age he carried himself with purpose, like he deserved to be there and wanted everyone else to know it. Then there was the blonde bombshell that was making her way towards the chiseled blonde guy. She seemed incredibly confident in herself but none of it was a show. Her confidence came from a place that made her absolutely sure of it. The final person stood in the corner and seemed to be talking to himself. He was a middle aged man of native American descent with a mess of black hair atop his head. He carried a look in his eyes that spoke of wisdom beyond his years.
I walked past all of them and took a seat on the floor, trying my hardest to ignore them. The effort was ultimately wasted as the muscular blonde guy walked over and held out a hand.
“Hey, my names Brooke, you are?”
My blood turned to ice as he said that, it couldn’t be the same Brooke Bianca told me about, could it? I stared dumbly at him for a moment before I responded.
“I’m… uh… Keith. Any idea what we’re doing here?”
“No clue, only know that the thunderbird wanted us here so we came. Hopefully she makes good on her promise, to me at least.”
His voice sounded like the “to cool for you” bully from any 80’s movie, it was almost annoying to listen to him.
“So you’ve met everyone else I take it?”
“Yeah, the weird guy in the corner is John, we don’t know much about him but apparently him and that Robert guy, the old one with the beard, worked for the thunderbird. Katrina, that beauty over there is a wild card, no-one seems to know anything about her but she looks like she’s hot shit and well, just plain hot.”
As Brooke gave me the run down of everyone in the room I quietly wondered to myself if Shaoni had given everyone the same offer as me. The way Brooke had said it, “promise”… that wasn’t how I would’ve phrased it. Maybe Shaoni cut everyone here a unique deal.
“…Anyways, I’m gonna go see if I can’t figure out that bombshell’s deal, I’ll see ya later Keith.”
Apparently Brooke had been talking to me the whole time but I only tuned in for the tail end of it as he walked off toward Katrina. I wondered where exactly Shaoni was, I had expected her to be here already but, as it turned out I wouldn’t have to wait long.
A thunderous boom cracked out above our heads and we all looked up at once, but the sound was coming from outside. I heard the flap of wings as Shaoni came in for a landing somewhere above our heads. It went so silent we could’ve heard a mosquito cough, then Shaoni stepped into the room. Not from either entrance but from a balcony above us I hadn’t seen before. She was wearing the same thing she had been when I ran into her in the cave, once again looking like a hardened, tattooed Pocahontas.
“Welcome everyone! I take it you’ve gotten to know each other?”
She thundered down to us as we all shot to attention.
“I’ve gathered you here to give a gift to one of you, but you must prove yourselves deserving. I’ve told some of you what I intended to do here and others may be hearing it for the first time. So for those of you who are gathering here for the first time pay attention. There will be three trials held here, one to test your morals, one to test your strength, and one to test your judgement.”
At this point Brooke spoke up in the way only a spoiled little shit like him could.
“You made me a promise! You never said anything about trials! I got all the way out here to this shitty little backwater and now your telling me I’ve got to compete to earn what you owe me?! Sorry, but I’m going to need more than that.”
Shaoni looked like she could’ve ended him right there. She was the judge and jury here, if Brooke wasn’t careful she’d become the executioner too.
“What you asked me for is in this town, that’s all I will say on the matter.”
Shaoni responded with less venom than I had expected judging by her expression. She didn’t actually seem to care that she had to tell him something to shut him up. It was the insult of being interrupted that struck a nerve. I was a little concerned by what she said, if he was looking for something that was in town and Bianca was there… could he be looking for her? “…Today though, just enjoy the company of one another. You’re all welcome to stay here at the camp I’ve had prepared for you outside. If you wish to return to town you may but you will be watched. No-one is to leave town until the trials are completed.”
Shaoni finished, I hadn’t really been listening to her welcome speech. She said everything I cared about when she told us what the trials where going to test for, after that I kind of tuned out. Shaoni disappeared in a flash, just like she had back at my house the day before and with that the five of us were alone again. I left, heading back outside to see this camp she mentioned. The others talked with each other but I really had no desire to. That didn’t stop Robert from running to catch up with me, wheezing when he got there.
“Hey you’re the one who ran out of the bar the other night! She’s said a lot about you, I’d almost think she had a favorite.”
Robert huffed out between breaths, punching me in the arm in a friendly but wholly unwelcome way.
“I’ve heard you know nothing about the supernatural, I’d be happy to tell you what I’ve seen working with Shaoni.”
Robert offered, fishing for any reason to hold a conversation with me.
“No, that’s alright really, I’ll manage. What do you guys do anyways, working for her I mean? I get the sense she could really run this whole operation on her own if she wanted.”
“She probably could do this alone. Most of the time we don’t work directly with her, this is a special case for those of us she’s got helping with the trials. There’s maybe 50 of us total and not just here, I mean 50 of us overall. She’s very selective with the followers she keeps so there isn’t many of us. We tend to sit around up-holding her ideals till she asks something of us through dreams, like the ones that brought you here.”
Robert explained, confusing me a little bit. I found it hard to believe a crew of 50 people got everything here done. I guess it wasn’t to outlandish when put in perspective though. If you told me Shaoni got all this done herself I probably would’ve believed you so 50 people organized by her, yeah I could see that.
“Wait, so you guys barley ever actually work with her, and what are her ideals exactly?”
“Have you heard the legends of the thunderbird? A lot of it depicts the thunderbird as a spirit of justice that fights evil spirits from the underworld, that’s really watered down but you get the point. I’ve never seen her do anything like that but she does uphold a certain sense of justice and that’s what she expects of us. Sure, she seems really intimidating but she wants to right wrongs that no one else will, it makes her a little harsh but she has to be. We just do that same thing when we aren’t getting orders right from her. Maybe you think she’s in the wrong here because she pulled you into this but we really want to help, sometimes there’s a price for that.”
Robert lectured, you could tell he really believed in what he was saying though. He may have been older but when he was telling me about the thunderbird and what she stood for he was filled with vigor again. Maybe he’s not as bad as I thought, I wanted all these people working for her to be some kind of weird cult like in Imalone. The more I heard the more I doubted that. They were people who followed her for a reason, not just because she gave them some kind of power. In reality I think what she really gave them was purpose. That sort of thing is more than enough for most people to follow someone.
When I broke away from Robert and got outside I found a huge camp had been set up while we were in the cave. Tepees of various sizes had been constructed all around the entrance to the old mine and one big canvas tent had a huge table running through it filled with food. For 50 people these followers of the thunderbird sure worked fast. I hadn’t decided if I wanted to go back to town yet. I hoped Frank and Stein had convinced Bianca to go with them, at least then they could get some answers while I was stuck here. If they were gone though what reason did I have to go back? As long as I was out here surrounded by people who work with Shaoni maybe I could get some answers of my own. I wasn’t really sure what information about Shaoni would do for us but she was a mystery to me. Everyone was here for a reason, I agreed to take on a burden, Brooke was here because of some promise Shaoni made, and I’m sure the rest had similar stories. Shaoni gained nothing from any of that though, besides this burden I had agreed to take. I’m not sure why, but it felt like figuring out what She stood to gain from this was important. If I could do that maybe I could put the pieces to this puzzle together. Two people had pointed out I knew nothing about the supernatural as well, Shaoni and Robert. That didn’t seem to matter to much to me but if all the others here had some experience in it maybe it should. It seemed like we were all on a level playing field though, Brooke hadn’t heard about the trials and neither had I. Robert and that strange John guy probably had some idea but they worked with Shaoni, I would expect them to know. Katrina, the blonde was probably just as surprised as Brooke, if I had to guess. None of us knew exactly what the trials would test for, so why did everyone keep brining up not knowing about the supernatural like it put me at a disadvantage?
“Why indeed.”
A familiar voice said, sending lightning through my veins and breaking my train of thought. I just about tossed the turkey leg I’d been eating directly at the source of the noise.
“Shaoni, you have got to stop doing that.”
I said, crawling back into my skin after she scared me out of it. Shaoni still looked just as she had when she addressed us earlier, adorned in her animal skins and feathers. It took me a second but it finally clicked that she had said something strange when she sat down next to me.
“Hang on a minute, can you read my mind? Was I thinking out loud or something?”
“No, you just looked lost in thought and I figured I’d chime in.”
“Oh, alright… why?”
I squeaked out, abruptly realizing that this was Shaoni, the thunderbird who was sitting next to me. There was a second there where I wasn’t as intimidated by her as I normally was but it had passed quickly.
“I wanted to know how your doing, I know all this can’t be easy to take in.”
“I’m doing fine, I think I’m adjusting pretty well but I did want to ask you some questions.”
An amused look ran across Shaoni’s face at this. She wasn’t being as commanding as before either, she almost seemed to genuinely care about my well-being.
“Would you walk with me, I’ll answer your questions on the way.”
Shaoni asked, standing and waiting for me to follow her. Not seeing any better options I stood up and left alongside her.
We walked around the perimeter of the camp, out of ear shot of anyone else. I’m sure she did that on purpose, though I wasn’t sure if it was so no-one could hear my screams if I asked a question she didn’t like or if she just wanted privacy.
“Why me Shaoni? Why chose me out of everyone, was it just a coincidence?”
“Straight to the point hmm. Think Keith, when I found you in the position you were in you needed my help. Sure, I planned to dispose of the cultists that were threatening you anyways but I stopped to help you. You saw me descend from the sky, swoop down, and bring them to their knees, I extended an offer to you and you just took it. You didn’t bargain or ask for anything more after I shattered your perception of what does and doesn’t exist, just accepted my offer. Most people would have bargained, tried to look for a better deal for themselves but you saw what the price of my help would be and paid it, no second thoughts. That interested me Keith, you recognized what had to be done and didn’t try to avoid the cost, that’s why I chose you.”
“So I appealed to whatever sense of justice you have? That’s it, that’s the only reason?”
She looked almost hurt as I asked this and she stopped walking. I definitely stepped on a nerve, I expected her to snap but she didn’t, She just asked very quietly,
“Do you think I’m a monster Keith?”
I was stunned by the question. Could I really say she was a monster? What had she done so far? Save me, that’s what, was that really so monstrous? Sure it may have come at a cost but nothing is ever free. Shaoni even came to warn me about the trials ahead of time, just barely ahead of time but it was something.
“No Shaoni, you’re not a monster just… someone with the powers you have… it’s terrifying for a normal person. Can you really say I’m in the wrong for being afraid of you?”
Even as I said it I knew it was a lie, at least partially. I wasn’t just afraid of her, I wanted her to be evil and she just wasn’t, not really. Maybe she was a bit intense but everything she had done to me so far couldn’t be called evil.
“Fear is only natural when you see something like me, but I’m not a monster. The thunderbird has always stood for justice. That’s what I represent, I can’t be everywhere but I make it a point to uphold justice where I am. Those who I’ve chosen to follow me hold my justice in their own town, in their own lives. I can be harsh but I am just.”
She said this with such intensity I had no choice but to believe her. Her conviction to justice was zealous but I still wanted to pry a little bit more.
“So what does justice mean to you then? I don’t mean to be disrespectful but I want to hear it from you,”
I asked, growing a little more confident in talking to Shaoni. For once I didn’t feel like she would kill me on a whim. Give her a reason, and Shaoni would do it without a second thought but I don’t think she cared that much about my questioning.
“Justice is black and white, right and wrong. Normally there’s a pretty good system in place to punish those that deserve it but sometimes things slip through the cracks, that’s where I come in. I take care of the heinous acts people get away with, people that think they’ve gotten away with murder, so to speak.”
“So your a vigilante then? That’s what I’m hearing here.”
“I wouldn’t be so crass but yes, I suppose you could call me a vigilante but I promise you that’s an oversimplification. Suffice it to say my opinion on matters of serving justice is respected.”
Shaoni seemed a little uncomfortable at the word “respect”, I think a better word would’ve been “feared”. I wasn’t going to say it to her but I knew she suspected it. I could see something about that really hurt her. I couldn’t put my finger on it, the reason Shaoni didn’t want to be feared. Despite being the scariest thing I’d seen so far she didn’t want to be known for that.
We talked for a while longer about a whole lot of nothing. Eventually we got back around to the camp and she bid me goodnight despite the fact it was 3 in the afternoon at the time. She was probably right though, I was going to need the rest if I wanted to be ready for the first trial tomorrow. I found my way to a tepee conveniently marked with my name. I didn’t remember it being marked before and I didn’t understand the point of giving us specific tepees, privacy I guess? The fur sleeping bag was a rustic but welcome touch and despite lacking the amenities of a usual home the tepee was quite comfortable. As I settled in for the night I heard a rustling on the far side of the tepee, then a voice, one whose heavy accent I recognized immediately.
“So, turns out they don’t check under the truck. Ya got me here with you now.”
Rocco said, emerging from a blanket in the corner. That revelation didn’t exactly set my mind at ease. Rocco must’ve sensed my apprehension to the fact that he was anywhere near me right now.
“What?! I’m here to help out! I heard you going on about a trial or somethin’ so I figured I’d tag along under that truck when they picked you up, can’t have enough back up ya know.”
He continued, pulling a belt with several tools out from under the blanket as he spoke. I wasn’t pleased to have him here but maybe I could make use of him.
“I was hoping you’d go with Bianca and the other two but honestly, it might be nice to have a friendly face around here. Just… try to stay out of trouble.”
“Trouble? When do I ever get into trouble?”
I hoped he was being sarcastic, you can never tell with him. I bit my tongue as Rocco walked out into the camp, silently praying no-one would see him. With that I settled into my sleeping bag and tried to think of what I could expect from the first trial tomorrow.

I first started noticing that something was wrong around 3 months ago. At the time, I was working from home and would usually light a scented candle while I worked, which usually helped me relax and stay focused on my work. I would usually burn through a candle a week, but over time, the candles started to take less time to fully burn up. At first, I thought that this was because of a change in ingredients the company that made the candles used, but the problem persisted after I switched candle brands, which I once again blamed on the candle manufacturers.
I kept this belief for another week until the first incident. While getting up from my computer desk, which faces away from the candle, to take a quick bathroom break, I caught a glimpse of the lit candle. A two-inch layer of molten wax rested on another three-inch layer of solid wax, the wicks rising out at first and being somewhat visible through the molten layer, finally breaking the surface and being slowly burned away. The flames flickered as I swung the door open and walked out of the room. When I returned 10 minutes later, the molten layer was gone, and the wicks had been shortened so that the flames rested right above the solid layer of the wax. At first, I thought that the glass jar that contained the candle was leaking, but after a short inspection, I was only able to find two small drops of candle wax that had solidified right next to the candle on the bedside table. I still had 2 hours of work left to do, but I was too lost in thought and was unable to do any work for the rest of the day.
Every night before I go to sleep, I like to read for at least 30 minutes, and while reading, I usually light a candle. Around 4 days later, I had mostly forgotten about the incident and went back to using candles. Due to my naivety, it returned.
I fell asleep while reading with a candle lit on my bedside table. I woke up to loud slurping noises. As I opened my eyes, the brightness of the light I had not turned off almost blinded me. As my eyes tried to readjust to the light and focus on what was in front of me, I saw a somewhat humanoid dark gray to light blue blur that contrasted with the white paint on the walls behind it. Another gray line stretched from the shape's head to the candle on my bedside table. I could feel my heart skip five consecutive beats. I opened my mouth and tried to force out a scream for help, but the pressure I applied to my throat was way beyond what it was able to handle, leading me to only produce a light wheezing sound. I tried to sit up or to at least prop myself up, but my muscles failed me. Trying to push myself up with my arms felt impossible. As I stared at the figure that had suddenly appeared in my room, my eyes finally managed to focus, making it possible for me to see the intruder who was now staring at me. The figure was a man at least 7 feet tall, fully naked; he looked bloated; his eyes were bloodshot and looked like they would pop out of their sockets; at any point, his skin was a grayish light blue.
HIS LIPS
His lips extended from his mouth like an elephant's trunk, which had been split in half. The lips extended from the man's face to the candle; the flames had been put out. He was using his lips as a makeshift straw, slowly sucking up all the molten wax from the candle, which had fully liquified while I was asleep. I laid in bed, unable to move, unable to scream for help, staring until he emptied the jar. His lips retracted back to his face, the molten wax solidifying on their tips and cracking, flakes of wax falling off the man's lips and falling to the floor. The man grinned, staring at me. The ridges and gaps between the teeth were filled in with wax, making it impossible to make out where one tooth ended and the next one began. The man opened the door he was standing next to, but instead of walking out of the room, he stepped behind it. His face peered at me from above the door, and then once again, like he had done to drink the wax, the man puckered his lips, which stretched from his mouth and floated to me. I shook and tried to roll over away from him. I wanted to get up and run, but my fear had taken over my body. Tears flowed from my eyes. He kissed me on the cheek, leaving flakes of wax and light moisture. He retracted his lips and lowered his head behind the door.
I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, I saw the empty glass jar, which at one point contained the candle. Even though I had hoped that what had happened was a dream, it wasn't. I still had flakes of wax on my cheek, and on my bedroom floor, the wax in the jar had disappeared. I called the police, but they were unable to find anyone in my apartment; they also could not find any evidence of a break-in.
After the break-in, I started looking for a new apartment to move to, thinking that the man was tied to the building I was in, but even though I had thrown out all of my candles, I could not stomach spending another hour in my apartment, constantly looking over my shoulder or walking around with my back pressed up against the wall to not allow it to creep up on me. Thankfully, my friend Emma was able to let me stay over at her apartment while I looked for a new one for myself.
Me and Emma have been friends since we were 8, and we've been there to support each other when times get rough. This isn’t the first time I've had to stay over at her house for an extended amount of time; in fact, I have had to stay over at Emma’s as many times as she has had to stay over at my apartment, whether it was because of evictions after losing a job, breakups, or a candle wax drinking squatter. I didn't even know if it was human. I mean, sure, it looked like one, but human lips are not supposed to do what his did, and somehow it didn't have a reaction to molten wax being poured down its esophagus. I didn't tell Emma about what happened—the details at least—I just told her that a man had broken into my house and was watching me sleep. The only people I told the truth to were my therapist and the cops, and all of them disregarded what I told them as my mind making things up after a traumatic event.
For a while, I believed what they said—I mean, why wouldn’t I?—but then I started seeing him again. For a few days, I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me again like it had done during the night of the incident. For split seconds out of the corner of my eye, I would see the outline of a tall, bloated figure. At first, they were hours apart, but after a while, it became constant. He was standing in each room I passed, in every single dark corner I glanced past, and then he spoke.
“FeeD MeEeee”
It stood in the kitchen, peering over from a small gap between the fridge and the sink, where the trash can that had been knocked over onto its side usually stood. His voice was raspy, and every word that came out of his mouth was distorted as if he were gargling water, but still, I could somehow clearly make out each word he said from over 15 feet away.
“Please just leave me alone I… why are you following me?”
I shouted at the figure, the same fear that had taken over my body during the night I saw him for the first time paralyzing me, making it impossible for me to move anything other than my eyes, eyelids, and mouth.
“i’M sTarviNg, I nEEd You To FeEd ME”
It replied again. Now, stepping out from behind the fridge, he stepped directly onto a rotten banana. Its mushy brown content’s seeping out of the peel under the pressure of his decomposing foot, which was covered in scabs, and took up the same grayish light blue color as the rest of his body. He mostly looked the same; his bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets, but now his tongue was swollen. It peeked out from between his bloated, cracked gray lips; it stared at me, waiting for an answer.
“Ok, I’ll.. I’ll feed you, but please just... leave me alone.”
I replied, the tone of my voice shifting into high-pitched squeals with every quick breath I took. He looked satisfied by my response. He somehow squeezed his bloated body back into the gap that was at least four times smaller than him. After peering over at me from above the fridge, he bent over backwards, his spine releasing a series of sickening cracks until he was fully obscured by the fridge, and then he vanished.
Still barely in control of my body, I limped over to the couch tucked away in the back corner of the living room, it took me at least 10 minutes to steady my breathing and 20 more to fully regain control of my body again but as soon as I did I ran out the house and to the nearest store, during the 15-minute walk he stared at me through dark windows and the backs of cars, peered out at me from gaps between leaves in the trees and bushes, he even followed me into the store staring at me from the middle of deserted isles before disappearing right before my eyes were able to fully catch him, once I finally got the candles I randomly picked four off of the shelves and rushed to the self checkout.
When I arrived home, I had 2 hours before Emma got off work. I didn't want to feed it while she was home, and I didn't want her to see it. I pulled out two of the candles from the black plastic bag and placed them on the kitchen table, the first a light blue candle named “Garden Rain” and the second a red candle named “Juicy Watermelon." I pulled out a lighter from one of the drawers Emma used after her stove stopped lighting on its own and lit each of the 6 wicks on the candles. As soon as I started seeing the wax melt under the heat of the burning wicks, I dropped the lighter onto the table next to the candles and ran out of the room. I could not stomach seeing that thing again; even just thinking about it made me shudder and hyperventilate. The paralyzing fear that seeing him caused me made me want to vomit.
At least 30 minutes later I started to hear it drink even though the living room and kitchen were separated by a wall, even though I had closed the door I could still hear what at first started as slurping sounds which were followed up by loud gulps, then it stopped, and once again 30 minutes later it started drinking, as the slurping started once again I heard the door to the apartment crack open, it was Emma, as she stepped through the door I saw her carrying two large brown paper bags of groceries in her hands, she was headed to the kitchen.
“Hey let me grab those for you”
I said running over to her, my voice shaking.
“Oh, thanks. Are you… okay, you look scared?”
My eyes shot wide open in a mixture of fear and surprise. I said the first thing that came to mind.
“Yeah just umm… I didn't expect you to come home so early and I got a bit spooked”
“shit sorry, I know I should have called you, work let me off early today,”
I started to turn away from her walking to the kitchen.
Trying to keep her away from the kitchen I told her to wait for me in the living room because I wanted to talk to her about something. I didn't know what I would talk to her about but that was a problem for future me to resolve, somehow it worked.
“What's that sound?”
She called out to me while walking towards the living room couch. It took me a few seconds to come up with an excuse.
“I think it’s the sink, or the pipes at least”
I opened the door to the kitchen with my eyes closed at first hesitant to look knowing what would be greeting me. slowly prying my eyes open I started to see its outline, my muscles started to lose strength as the details of the man came into my view, I felt the grocery bags start to slip from my arms, my knees buckled, face first I fell onto the kitchen floor scattering the groceries all over the floor, I mixture of a light scream and a yelp escaped from my mouth as my body made contact with the floor, Emma concerned for my safety ran into the kitchen, she didn't scream, using all of the strength and mobility I had left in my muscles I rolled over expecting to see her face drenched in terror, her body frozen still unable to move just like my body had done the first time that I saw him, but Emma looked concerned, the man was gone, she crouched down beside me.
“Oh my god are you ok? What happened?”
I looked around observing my surroundings.
“I um… I… I tripped on the little thing at the bottom of the doorframe”
I finally managed to blurt out another excuse, not being able to remember what the name of a door sill was. I started to sit up using a part of the energy that had returned to my body, pain pulsed through my chest and arms, Emma looked at me with a concerned face.
“You've been acting really weird since I got home, are you sure you're ok?”
“Yeah… I think I’m just having one of those days you know”
The confusion on Emma’s face said that she didn’t know and to be honest I didn't either, I guess my luck of pulling random excuses out of my ass ran out, Emma thought that she triggered some sort of PTSD response after barging into the house unannounced at first apologizing then trying to change the subject to stop my trembling which I was still unsuccessfully trying to hide from her.
“Did you buy candles?”
Emma asked picking the groceries apart from the garbage that spilled out the can that the man had knocked over, placing them on the table next to the now half-empty glass jars, the flames flickered above the inch or so of molten wax the man was unable to finish drinking.
“Yeah I’ve been struggling with work lately, they usually help me focus”
“Huh Interesting combination you’ve got going on here”
She looked at me and smiled slightly, I smiled back and chuckled to seem normal.
“Yeah even I don't know what I was trying to accomplish here, to be honest”
I tried to help Emma clean up the spilled groceries but she did not let me, she told me that I needed to recover like I had been in a car crash instead of having taken a little tumble. After a few seconds of silence, Emma spoke again.
“Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
A quick jolt of stress shot through my body, in a jumbled mess of lies and fear I had forgotten what I had told Emma, I sat there in silence for a few seconds unable to come up with an excuse
“I…umm… I don’t remember, it wasn't anything serious though”
“Damn did you hit your head too?”
She said once again proudly smiling at her joke.
At this point Emma picked up the last bag of potato chips from the floor and placed it on the table, then she opened the fridge and started loading the groceries into it.
“Anyway I gotta go get back to work’’
I blurted out after a few more seconds of awkward silence.
“Alright well good luck”
I walked over into the living room and sat down in front of my workstation, which now consisted of a laptop sitting on a small foldable TV tray that had just barely enough room left on it to fit a small USB mouse.
The last thing I remember, before I fell asleep, was me mindlessly scrolling through apartment listings while Emma watched a random 90’s horror movie I’m positive only had a budget of $500.
I woke up with a light stinging pain shooting through my dry throat, and a dim hissing sound caused by thousands of water drops striking the ground outside filled the room. I pressed the spacebar on my laptop, the brightness of the screen blinding me temporarily, after taking a few seconds to let my eyes readjust I managed to make out the time, 3:45 AM. A strong smell I was unable to make out the origin of assaulted my nostrils. Lavender.
The smell hitting my nose had the same effect on me that I would expect smelling salts would have on a weightlifter right before they set a world record. Before I knew it my legs were moving on their own at an almost uncontrollable pace, fighting back against my mind which was telling them to slow down after years of being used to navigating both mine and Emma’s apartment as steadily as possible to not bother the neighbors.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity I stood before Emma’s bedroom door, a faint, yellow, pulsating light radiated from a lamp and snuck out of a small gap between the door and the doorframe, reluctantly I pushed my left hand up against the door, my right hand grasping onto the door frame for a sense of stability, once the door was fully agape I scanned the inside of the room my heart skipping a beat for every humanoid shadow cast up onto the wall by the lights from the wicks which were set ablaze and were being slowly burnt away.
I walked into Emma’s room and made my way over to her bedside table to put out the candle, as I stepped closer towards her, her face became more defined, I could finally make out her features, she was awake, but no she could not have been, even though her eyes were wide open they never blinked, she didn't even move slightly, as I moved closer I finally managed to fully make out the expression of pure terror on her face, her mouth wide agape as if she was about to release a deafening screach, but she could not have, a single drop of solidified wax dribbled out of the corner of her mouth and clung to her cheek, my eyes traced the cream colored path back towards her mouth, first up her cheek then between the corner of her mouth and finally behind her teeth, there instead of her tongue or the roof of her mouth I saw a wall of wax which had filled in the entirety of her mouth.
I fell to my knees and hunched forward supporting my body weight with my arms, I was too late, I resisted the urge to vomit and got back up onto my feet, a mixture of tears and snot slid down my face and onto my lips, shaking now I slowly started limping over towards my phone which I had left on the couch next to where I had awoken just minutes before, just minutes before my life was destroyed because of my lies if I had just told Emma what I had gone through, if I had just told her what had happened on the night of the incident which now seemed trivial, even if she thought that I was crazy, I know that she would have complied just to make me feel comfortable.
It took me at least 30 seconds of repeated attempts to stabilize my hands enough to properly dial 911. “Someone broke into my apartment and hurt my friend” was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with that would not get the operator to hang up on me thinking that this was a prank call.
I sat there in the living room for an agonizing 10 minutes, crying, my sadness slowly transformed into anger towards myself, and my mind raced thinking of all the lies I’d told, I kept thinking that if I had just told her the truth she would not have been laying there in her bed, her body bloated, “every single orifice has signs of forced penetration and has been filled with what seems to be candle wax” is what was written on her autopsy report.
For a few days I was the main suspect in Emma’s murder, but due to the almost unstoppable crying and the unresponsive state that I was in when the police arrived, mixed with the lack of evidence of me having a way to produce 30 pounds of candle wax led to me being released out of police custody, but because I was the main suspect I was not told any details about what had fully happened to Emma, for days all I had to work off of was the image of her face frozen in terror, and a short glance I caught of her bloated body as she was being carted out on a stretcher.
I recounted every single word of our last conversations over and over again until they became permanently etched into my brain.
Emma’s parents originally wanted to cremate her, as that is what she had somewhat jokingly asked for whenever the topic of funerals came up, well she had joked about wanting to have had unpopped popcorn shoved down her throat before she was sent off to “scare the shit out of the guy cremating me” but due to all the wax which would have been impossible to get out of her body they were forced to bury her.
A few days before Emma’s funeral her body disappeared.
After Emma’s death, her parents took me into their home, after reading the autopsy reports and seeing her corpse they had thrown out every single candle they owned which made their home the safest choice I had, still, this did not stop me from buying a machete and keeping it under my bed, just in case.
I was laying on the bed in their guest bedroom The day that the police informed Emma’s parents about her disappearance, the bedroom is right above the front porch of the house, at first I heard them ring the doorbell which was followed up by 3 powerful knocks on the door, for about a minute I laid there on the bed listening to muffled voices exchanging distorted words I was barely able to make out which slowly transformed into distorted weeps, curious I lifted myself up from the bed, made my way over to the window and carefully lifted the bottom panel making Shure to not make too much noise, the distorted muffled sounds started forming into coherent words “We checked the security footage but the only strange thing we could see was a 5 second time jump” one of the officers spoke in a serious and almost monotone voice “which meant that the security guard who was the only person in the building had to climb down 2 flights of stairs walk through a 40 foot long hallway and then drag her body back up stairs and out of the building in 5 seconds” Emma’s mom let out yelp “ but don’t worry ma'am that’s actually good news because we know that her corpse is still somewhere within the building and was probably brought to the wrong floor by an intern, we’ve already warned all of the staff at the hospital to keep an eye out, and we also sent 5 officers to search the hospital”
I could not believe what I was hearing, my breathing quickened, but this time instead of fear I felt anger, that fucker stole her corpse and was probably in the weird separate plane of existence he always went back to after terrorizing me, cutting off chunks of her body, melting her, and drinking her.
I closed the window Emma’s mom's cries once again turned into a muffled rumble which was only possible to make out if you knew what to look for, I took a few steps back away from the window planning to lay back down, not wanting to bother Emma’s parents. I bumped into something, not something, someone, its fleshy towering form as solid as a wall sent me tumbling forward, I knew it was him, he had returned to take me too, to stretch his swollen cracked lips, push them down my esophagus, fill my lungs and stomach with wax. But despite all of that this time I was not scared, I was angry, and I was not going to stand there in terror like I had the last time I saw him.
I fell forward onto my knees my face missing the window sill just by mere inches, I put my hands onto the floor, lifted one of my knees, and rotated 180 degrees now facing the monster, to the right of him pushed up against the wall was the bed, light from the sun reflected off of the metallic button which kept my machete in it’s sheathe, the man started to stretch his lips, they were moving towards me, waving a wiggling through the air like a snake slithering towards me.
I dove towards the bed one of my feet pushing off of the floor and the other pushing against the wall which creaked under the pressure applied to it, I flew for a few moments before slamming down onto the carpet and sliding forward, the heat generated by my skin brushing against the carpet released a sharp stinging pain throughout my body, my outstretched arm landed just a few inches short of the machete, I quickly bent my arms, pushing my body up and crawled towards the machete. my fingers wrapped around the handle I spun around, my back pushed up against the bedside table, once again facing the man, he was still facing the window but his lips faced me and were just a few feet away from me, for what felt like minutes but was most likely no longer than a second, I struggled to hook my finger under the strap securing the machete into its sheath, as the lips inched towards me the man started producing gurgling noises, he was regurgitation wax.
I finally pulled the machete out of its sheath, I swung the blade at the man's lips, the blade was not met with any resistance as it sliced through the man’s lips which landed on the carpeted floor with an audible thud, the man did not have a physical reaction to my counter-attack, his lips kept creeping towards me, once again I slashed at the lips, still no reaction, I repeated this at least 3 more times.
I wanted to kill him, I wanted to take revenge for what he had done to Emma, but fighting back was pointless. I realized that no matter how much I tried to hurt it, I could not kill him, I could not get rid of him.
My rage dissipated and a mixture of fear and sadness crept in, and soon took over my body, I screamed for help, I screamed in fear, in agony, tears streamed down my face as the man's lips finally reached my face, he wasn’t met with any resistance as his lips snuck between mine, pried my jaw open and finally started to slide down my esophagus.
I heard the cops run up the stairs, they started banging on the door asking if I was okay only to have been met with muffled screams, hot wax started to pour down inside of me, the stinging pain of the heat made me want to plunge the machete which I had dropped onto the ground next to me into my stomach to create a gaping wound that the wax would hopefully funnel out of, the texture of the man's slippery, oily lips matched with the poison like flavor of the wax caused me to start gagging, I felt my insides bulging like at any moment my intestines would have been filled to the point where they would pop, I wanted to vomit, the drain myself of the filth I was filled with, but his lips had plugged my throat not allowing anything to get out.
Hearing my muffled screams the cops started kicking the door down, the man retracted his lips, the suction aided my attempts at cleansing my insides, I got onto my hands and knees streams of molten wax pouring out of me, solidifying on the the carpet, with another loud thud the door swung open slamming into the wall, the man was gone.
That’s the last thing I remember before I passed out, but according to one of the doctors who was in the ambulance that brought me to the hospital, I was still semi-responsive during the first 10 minutes of the ride to the hospital.
Approximately 13.4 pounds of wax were removed from my body, the doctors said that I was in a critical condition and some of them did not expect me to make it.
One of the officers who was there the day the man attacked me took a report of what had happened to me, due to the unmistakable evidence of what had happened to both me and Emma, and the fact that this was the 3rd instance of me reporting something like this the police finally started investigating who this man might have been.
Around a month later I was discharged from the hospital and once again have been staying in the living room of Emma’s parent's house.
I’ve been seeing the man again, candles were not allowed in the hospital I stayed at, which means that he’s probably very hungry, he’s close to attacking me again, I know it, he wants to finish what he started and I don't know if I have the power to fight back, I’m not sure if defeating him is even possible, I’m tired.
I’ve been seeing Emma too, her bloated, reanimated corpse often appears to be standing next to the man. If I let him take me will I get to join them? I’ve tried asking but they don’t answer, they just stare, I can’t keep living in constant fear, always looking over my shoulder, I miss Emma.

Hi! I'm finally getting around to using Libby for audiobooks and I'm excited, but the default backward skip of 15 seconds is really bugging me.
I often listen while running or working out, so skip forward & back via a long press are the only way for me to control where I am without taking out my phone. I often space out thinking about other things while listening, so I need to back up to the point I stopped paying attention if I want to keep track of the plot.
For me 15 seconds is an almost unusably short skip duration: with the long press and a couple of seconds to listen to where I am, I often end up in a loop where I'm fighting to back up just a couple of seconds with each press, which is frustrating.
In both Audible and PocketCasts (on Android) I can easily configure this via the settings, but I haven't seen a way to do this with Libby. Is this not currently possible?

Humans are Weird – Hungry

Original Post: http://www.authorbettyadams.com/bettys-blog/humans-are-weird-hungry
The air tasted warm as First Sister paused in the massive human doorway with its harsh, ninety-degree angles. Outside the sun was setting and sending the last orange rays over the humans’s crop pastures. The light fell against the vertical shades of the broad front porch with its last energy casting a rather pleasing lattice of shadows on the wall of the humans’ deadwood hive. First Sister gave her frill a flap in an absent attempt to cool herself and stepped out onto the porch with a little shiver. The porch itself felt safe, with its clutter of gardening tools, child’s toys, and mysterious items shaped for human hands or human eyes. However the wide empty pastures that sloped gently up to the sand dunes of the beach were something that First Sister could never quite get used to. She understood from her lessons that humans liked, even needed ‘wide open spaces’ as defined by distances far enough to make it difficult to see another human without obstruction, but the searing light of the day and the forceful winds of the night made it terrifying to her.
She eased down onto something that looked sort of like a couch and resumed the simple weaving project she had brought with her when somewhat to her surprise the familiar tread of Human Second Mother approached from within the house. First Sister sprang up and prepared to greet her but Human Second Mother burst out of the door and swept around her, apparently utterly focused on reaching the secure bin that stored the tuber vegetables this hive used on a daily basis. First Sister watched, somewhat perplexed at the intensity in Human Second Mother’s face as she glared down at the tubers, selected a handful of bright purple ones, and rather more forcefully than was needed, reached down and snatched them out. Then, instead of taking them into the kitchen to prepare Human Second Mother brought the tubers up to her mouth and simply bit off a large chunk and started chewing. Her body language instantly changed, the tightness in the skin around her face relaxed, her fingers uncurled slightly, she stood taller and easier as if the bite had relived some distress. The crunching sound filled the porch as Human Second mother let her gaze wander out across the ‘wide open spaces’.
First Sister continued to watch in fascination as Human Second Mother ate an entire raw tuber. First Sister was not entirely certain that the tubers were indigestible to humans raw, but she knew that it was highly unusual for these humans to eat them raw in any mass. After finishing the first tuber, which was easily the size and mass of First Sister’s arm, Human Second mother frowned thoughtfully at the second tuber, gave a low grunt, and took another bite, less frantically than she had before. She glanced over at First Sister and smiled.
“Hey Kid,” she said turning to angle back through the door.
It seemed to be a general greeting, backed up by Human Second Mother idly reaching up to pat First Sister’s head between her antenna, so it didn’t require a reply. First Sister wondered at what she had just seen, but as no explanation seemed likely she turned her attention back to her weaving and the sunset. Eventually the artificial lights on the porch switched on and the sound of Human Friend Betty returning from the beach with Human First Sister drifted up the path. They greeted her joyfully, surprised at her presence, and the three of them entered the house together talking of the swimming conditions on the local beach. The humans decided to stay in their saltwater-soaked clothes until had hydrated and they sat down around the large preparation table in the kitchen to drink some acidic fruit juice. It was more than pleasant with the air rapidly cooling, the sounds of the night drifting in through the still open door, and the exotic taste of the juice. However First Sister stopped talking as she observed Human Second Mother pace by in that same, tense focused way, open the cold storage in the kitchen, and outright scowl at the contents before reaching in and removing several avian eggs. The adult human quickly cracked the shells, revealing the insides had been solidified through boiling, then proceed to eat the eggs with that same quick intensity she had applied to the tubers.
“What’cha looking at First?” Human First Sister asked.
“Is there something wrong with Human Second Mother?” First Sister asked, feeling her antenna curl in concern.
“Mom?” Human Second Cousin Betty asked, glancing after the retreating back of her mother. “No, I don’t think so. Why?”
First Sister explained the behavior she had observed and Human Second Cousin Betty seemed as perplexed as she did, however the older Human First Sister only nodded in confident understanding. By the time First Sister was done Human First Sister was clearly wanting to say something.
“Hormones!” Human First Sister said with final firm nod.
“What does that even mean?” Human Second Cousin Betty demanded with an irritated frown.
“Oh,” Human First Sister’s face contorted in something between and grimace of pain and a smug smile, “you’ll understand in a few years. Don’t you worry.”
“I’m not worried!” Human Second Cousin Betty insisted.
“What specific aspect of her hormones resulted in her eating so much?” First Sister quickly cut in to avoid a cousin argument.
“Its just that time of her cycle,” Human First Sister said with a wave of her hand. “Happens to all of us, eventually. You get one day where they hungry just won’t stop and nothing really satisfies it, but it’ll stop by tomorrow.”
“It’s a mammal moon cycle thing,” Human Second Cousin Betty offered when First Sister didn’t uncurl her confused antenna.
The conversation turned there as they had finished drinking and wanted to seek privacy to change out of their swimming clothes. First Sister waited for them at the table mulling over whether this strange food scavenging behavior was worth further investigation.

Science Fiction Books By Betty Adams

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Check out my books at any of these sites and leave a review! "Flying Sparks" - a novel set in the "Dying Embers" universe is now avaliable on all sites!
Please go leave a review on Amazon! It really helps and keeps me writing becase tea and taxes don't pay themselves sadly!

Critical emotional damage in the most harrowing campaign I’ve ever played (Exalted 2.5e)
My campaign is a mixed-format live audio sessions and play-by-post text roleplay Exalted 2.5e campaign that’s now been ongoing for the past 5 months. It’s now 15 sessions and 60+ text sessions deep, but has somehow never stopped breaking new ground in psychic damage and soul-wrenching drama. This just happened last weekend in the play-by-text portion, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did playing it.
Relevant characters:
Gold (PC), just some guy, a revolutionary rebellion leader who died in the course of anti-establishment activities and re-awakened as an Abyssal Exalt, now grappling with his new nature, still dedicated to the idea of doing good for the world.
Ayesha Ura (NPC), a socialite sorceress, an ancient legendary Elder Sidereal Exalt, who has been trying her best to actively do good for 1,500 years now, working in Heaven to protect the entire world and keep it all together. Ayesha truly and sincerely believes that the ancient Solar Exalted god-kings murdered and cast out of the world by her ex, who just recently returned and have been causing chaos anew, can do great and good things for the world, if only she could show them how. She is the one who arranged for the entire circle of PCs to have their powers, and has been guiding, watching, and judging them from the shadows until she recently revealed herself and invited them all to a party at her house to cast prophecies to the stars and decide upon the future of the world together.
Thei (PC), a slick socialite conman, an Infernal Exalt empowered by the Ebon Dragon, the primordial principle of deceit, antagonism, evil and scumbaggery itself, whose entire motivation is to spite the Ebon Dragon. Some of his powers allow him to tear down the successes and defenses of other characters, other powers allow him to be a wish-granting genie, granting magical miracles and wishes nearly without limit, while un-knowingly ensnaring them into punishing debts to him. Out of spite to the Ebon Dragon, Thei is committed to using these toxic, antagonistic powers selflessly to recklessly do good. Thei has a demon familiar named Lucy, a child of the Ebon Dragon, a mischievous creature embedded as an eternal companion into his soul.
And this is what happened Saturday night.
Gold had been interrogating Ayesha, feeling outraged and manipulated about Ayesha withholding information from the party about the monsters she sent them to kill, and Ayesha replied with piercing questions about the tension between ideological purity and radical honesty, vs the necessities of being efficient and effective at dealing with the overwhelmingly huge tide of problems the world is constantly facing. Ayesha points out how irrelevant the monster’s backstory is towards what it has become and how necessary its destruction was, and she tells him that once he has actively worked at actually trying to do good for as long as she has, he will get it too. He sees how dedicated she is to her work, how deeply she truly believes in what she is doing, and how profoundly ancient with exhaustion this beautiful, graceful, socially magnificent party-girl of a woman actually is.
It hits hard enough to make both Gold and the player behind him, think hard and question their own ideals, thinking he will never become like her but fearing that she’s right.
She asks him about another Exalt, a Solar named Mikal who is new to her but an old friend of Gold’s. And Gold tells her much, but, feeling like she is too devastated already to hear everything that he knows, he chooses to withhold some things from her, for her own sake.
Exactly as Ayesha just predicted he would.
Gold rolls against Ayesha’s mental defenses, and scores very high, but not high enough to beat her razor-sharp social senses.
In discord, I see Thei begin to type, obviously wanting to use his Shadow-Spite Curse to tear down Ayesha’s defenses and aid Gold’s success, but I know he is completely out of essence for his powers, having tapped himself out in his last encounter, and I see him stop typing. I drop an out-of-character aside about how tapped out he is, to rofl reactions all ‘round as Gold and Ayesha continue.
Ayesha notices Gold withholding information, but, exhausted and mostly tapped out herself, decides to trust his judgement in keeping things from her instead of pressing the issue, and feels smug that he is already doing what she predicted.
Gold pivots, and asks her how she’s feeling, how she’s holding up, and asks when’s the last time she actually allowed herself to rest. And the ancient elder Sidereal, weighted with the burden of having to be way too mature for way too long, takes a moment to actually relax and act childish, flopping down onto the chaise, burying her face under a mountain of pillows, and dumping her feelings, whining about how precariously the entire world is currently teetering on the edge of catastrophe, and how she’s feeling about her personal quest to sculpt the PC party into a force capable of carrying that burden, and the pressure of doing it soon enough that they are in place to catch the pieces BEFORE the Realm, the current imperial superpower of the world, falls apart, or else an unthinkably massive amount of people are going to die in the aftermath.
Blown away by the human side of Ayesha, coming out from beneath all her layers of politics, maneuvering, and poise, he suggests that, if she can’t take a vacation, she should at least make a pillow fort to rest in. And Ayesha responds by transforming her magitech couch into a fort, with herself already inside.
Gold goes to the fort entrance, playing along asking for permission to enter, and Ayesha, in a silly voice, makes a 4th wall reference to the call-and-response codewords that another PC invented ages ago, which the rest of the players had cared so little for and were so incapable of remembering that it had become a running joke.
Gold replies, with the correct response and is welcomed into the pillow fort, and somehow, in this campaign, our characters themselves, are now roleplaying with each other.
Ayesha casts an anti-scrying warding spell, using discord’s spoiler formatting to black-bar everything she says and teaches Gold the formatting for how to do the same, shrouding the whole conversation so that everyone else reading the chat has to break the 4th wall themselves to read this dialogue.
And Gold proceeds to lightly jokingly antagonize Ayesha about her own mental health, and when she’s ever going to take a break.
And somehow, Lucy appears inside the fort with them. Dark, cozy corner, shrouded with wards, filled with playful antagonism? Lucy bursts into the spoiler-tagged, shrouded conversation with the exuberance of a child going “ooh ooh ooh me too can I play too am I doing this right?”
Gold and Ayesha are both surprised but welcome Lucy’s presence, and the three of them continue playing on.
Eventually, I rule that this entire conversation counts as a dramatic action of Gold attempting to cheer Ayesha up, and I ask Gold to make a heavily advantaged roll against Ayesha’s mental defenses.
Breaths are held as Gold rolls, and… Failure. Ayesha’s emotional walls are just too strong, and Gold’s persuasion misses.
I see Thei’s player active in other channels on the server, online and talking out-of-character with people about art.
So Lucy slides into Thei’s secret player-and-DM channel. “Thei are you there? Are you there? I need you RIGHT NOW. Do you have essence for a Shadow Spite Curse?”
At this point Thei has no idea what’s going on in the RP game channel, but says “No I don’t.”
Lucy says, “I’ve got a deal for you. Please, I have 20 motes of essence, please take them right now, Ayesha needs help. I can gift you these motes and I won’t ask for much in return pleeeeease do this for me right now!”
Thei, who has never refused an obvious trap in his entire life, knows this is going to hurt, and cannot wait to find out how, says “I accept!”, overflowing with dread as he does.
Boom, 20 motes of essence received.
Lucy points Thei back to the channel, he sees the most recent roll, and announces that he activates Shadow Spite Curse, to tear Ayesha’s defenses down so that Gold’s cheer hits, instead.
Ayesha starts giggling, then laughing, then breaking down completely with hideously joyful, cackling laughter as Gold’s efforts do hit her after all, and she recovers some willpower as she allows herself, for the first time in far too long, to actually feel a feeling and be a person again. She laughs so joyfully that she shatters her own silencing wards, and her laughter echoes throughout the entire space of her party.
Inside the pillow fort and inside Thei’s head, Lucy says, “I did it! I saved Ayesha!”, and then, she begins to fade.
Inside Thei’s head, Lucy is exuberant. “I saved someone, Thei! Just like you do! I saved Ayesha! I did it!”
She starts to fade. “Hey, here’s what I want from you in exchange for those motes. Please, just, stay alive, okay? Please still be here when I return. You dummy.”
And with that, she’s gone, having just transmuted her entire self into raw power for Thei’s use. And, with a feeling as un-nerving as his own heartbeat stopping, the absence of something that’s been with him for so long that he has never known life without it, he is suddenly alone inside his own head.
In the chat, the response is: … … … … …
Thei immediately begins melting down with panic, freaking out, screaming at Lucy demanding she come back.
…. ..
He continues panicking, desperately trying to cope, telling himself that if greater demons come back from death surely his friend could, too.
…. . ._. .
He keeps on freaking out, grieving over what he’s done, even as Ayesha’s joyful laughter fills his ears, his private chat greeted by nothing but ellipsis.
,.. .., ,, ,, ,.,,
Thei says, to the silence, “what do I do?”
I ask him to make an Int+ Occult check.
He succeeds on the roll.
I send him in reply… a Morse Code table, and sit back cackling as I wait for him to realize, then go back and translate all the “silence” he was getting.
“S S S S S”
“H I”
“H E R E”
“D U M M Y”
Somehow, Thei finds yet another depth of anguish and psychic pain, screaming at Lucy that she’d torment him like this and promising to kill her himself if she wasn’t already dead right now, for doing this to him.
One last message comes through the ellipsis for him:
“L O L L M A O”
And that moment was where the live-session would start the next day.

Critical emotional damage in the most harrowing campaign I’ve ever played (Exalted 2.5e)
My campaign is a mixed-format live audio sessions and play-by-post text roleplay Exalted 2.5e campaign that’s now been ongoing for the past 5 months. It’s now 15 sessions and 60+ text sessions deep, but has somehow never stopped breaking new ground in psychic damage and soul-wrenching drama. This just happened last weekend in the play-by-text portion, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as we did playing it.
Relevant characters:
Gold (PC), just some guy, a revolutionary rebellion leader who died in the course of anti-establishment activities and re-awakened as an Abyssal Exalt, now grappling with his new nature, still dedicated to the idea of doing good for the world.
Ayesha Ura (NPC), a socialite sorceress, an ancient legendary Elder Sidereal Exalt, who has been trying her best to actively do good for 1,500 years now, working in Heaven to protect the entire world and keep it all together. Ayesha truly and sincerely believes that the ancient Solar Exalted god-kings murdered and cast out of the world by her ex, who just recently returned and have been causing chaos anew, can do great and good things for the world, if only she could show them how. She is the one who arranged for the entire circle of PCs to have their powers, and has been guiding, watching, and judging them from the shadows until she recently revealed herself and invited them all to a party at her house to cast prophecies to the stars and decide upon the future of the world together.
Thei (PC), a slick socialite conman, an Infernal Exalt empowered by the Ebon Dragon, the primordial principle of deceit, antagonism, evil and scumbaggery itself, whose entire motivation is to spite the Ebon Dragon. Some of his powers allow him to tear down the successes and defenses of other characters, other powers allow him to be a wish-granting genie, granting magical miracles and wishes nearly without limit, while un-knowingly ensnaring them into punishing debts to him. Out of spite to the Ebon Dragon, Thei is committed to using these toxic, antagonistic powers selflessly to recklessly do good. Thei has a demon familiar named Lucy, a child of the Ebon Dragon, a mischievous creature embedded as an eternal companion into his soul.
And this is what happened Saturday night.
Gold had been interrogating Ayesha, feeling outraged and manipulated about Ayesha withholding information from the party about the monsters she sent them to kill, and Ayesha replied with piercing questions about the tension between ideological purity and radical honesty, vs the necessities of being efficient and effective at dealing with the overwhelmingly huge tide of problems the world is constantly facing. Ayesha points out how irrelevant the monster’s backstory is towards what it has become and how necessary its destruction was, and she tells him that once he has actively worked at actually trying to do good for as long as she has, he will get it too. He sees how dedicated she is to her work, how deeply she truly believes in what she is doing, and how profoundly ancient with exhaustion this beautiful, graceful, socially magnificent party-girl of a woman actually is.
It hits hard enough to make both Gold and the player behind him, think hard and question their own ideals, thinking he will never become like her but fearing that she’s right.
She asks him about another Exalt, a Solar named Mikal who is new to her but an old friend of Gold’s. And Gold tells her much, but, feeling like she is too devastated already to hear everything that he knows, he chooses to withhold some things from her, for her own sake.
Exactly as Ayesha just predicted he would.
Gold rolls against Ayesha’s mental defenses, and scores very high, but not high enough to beat her razor-sharp social senses.
In discord, I see Thei begin to type, obviously wanting to use his Shadow-Spite Curse to tear down Ayesha’s defenses and aid Gold’s success, but I know he is completely out of essence for his powers, having tapped himself out in his last encounter, and I see him stop typing. I drop an out-of-character aside about how tapped out he is, to rofl reactions all ‘round as Gold and Ayesha continue.
Ayesha notices Gold withholding information, but, exhausted and mostly tapped out herself, decides to trust his judgement in keeping things from her instead of pressing the issue, and feels smug that he is already doing what she predicted.
Gold pivots, and asks her how she’s feeling, how she’s holding up, and asks when’s the last time she actually allowed herself to rest. And the ancient elder Sidereal, weighted with the burden of having to be way too mature for way too long, takes a moment to actually relax and act childish, flopping down onto the chaise, burying her face under a mountain of pillows, and dumping her feelings, whining about how precariously the entire world is currently teetering on the edge of catastrophe, and how she’s feeling about her personal quest to sculpt the PC party into a force capable of carrying that burden, and the pressure of doing it soon enough that they are in place to catch the pieces BEFORE the Realm, the current imperial superpower of the world, falls apart, or else an unthinkably massive amount of people are going to die in the aftermath.
Blown away by the human side of Ayesha, coming out from beneath all her layers of politics, maneuvering, and poise, he suggests that, if she can’t take a vacation, she should at least make a pillow fort to rest in. And Ayesha responds by transforming her magitech couch into a fort, with herself already inside.
Gold goes to the fort entrance, playing along asking for permission to enter, and Ayesha, in a silly voice, makes a 4th wall reference to the call-and-response codewords that another PC invented ages ago, which the rest of the players had cared so little for and were so incapable of remembering that it had become a running joke.
Gold replies, with the correct response and is welcomed into the pillow fort, and somehow, in this campaign, our characters themselves, are now roleplaying with each other.
Ayesha casts an anti-scrying warding spell, using discord’s spoiler formatting to black-bar everything she says and teaches Gold the formatting for how to do the same, shrouding the whole conversation so that everyone else reading the chat has to break the 4th wall themselves to read this dialogue.
And Gold proceeds to lightly jokingly antagonize Ayesha about her own mental health, and when she’s ever going to take a break.
And somehow, Lucy appears inside the fort with them. Dark, cozy corner, shrouded with wards, filled with playful antagonism? Lucy bursts into the spoiler-tagged, shrouded conversation with the exuberance of a child going “ooh ooh ooh me too can I play too am I doing this right?”
Gold and Ayesha are both surprised but welcome Lucy’s presence, and the three of them continue playing on.
Eventually, I rule that this entire conversation counts as a dramatic action of Gold attempting to cheer Ayesha up, and I ask Gold to make a heavily advantaged roll against Ayesha’s mental defenses.
Breaths are held as Gold rolls, and… Failure. Ayesha’s emotional walls are just too strong, and Gold’s persuasion misses.
I see Thei’s player active in other channels on the server, online and talking out-of-character with people about art.
So Lucy slides into Thei’s secret player-and-DM channel. “Thei are you there? Are you there? I need you RIGHT NOW. Do you have essence for a Shadow Spite Curse?”
At this point Thei has no idea what’s going on in the RP game channel, but says “No I don’t.”
Lucy says, “I’ve got a deal for you. Please, I have 20 motes of essence, please take them right now, Ayesha needs help. I can gift you these motes and I won’t ask for much in return pleeeeease do this for me right now!”
Thei, who has never refused an obvious trap in his entire life, knows this is going to hurt, and cannot wait to find out how, says “I accept!”, overflowing with dread as he does.
Boom, 20 motes of essence received.
Lucy points Thei back to the channel, he sees the most recent roll, and announces that he activates Shadow Spite Curse, to tear Ayesha’s defenses down so that Gold’s cheer hits, instead.
Ayesha starts giggling, then laughing, then breaking down completely with hideously joyful, cackling laughter as Gold’s efforts do hit her after all, and she recovers some willpower as she allows herself, for the first time in far too long, to actually feel a feeling and be a person again. She laughs so joyfully that she shatters her own silencing wards, and her laughter echoes throughout the entire space of her party.
Inside the pillow fort and inside Thei’s head, Lucy says, “I did it! I saved Ayesha!”, and then, she begins to fade.
Inside Thei’s head, Lucy is exuberant. “I saved someone, Thei! Just like you do! I saved Ayesha! I did it!”
She starts to fade. “Hey, here’s what I want from you in exchange for those motes. Please, just, stay alive, okay? Please still be here when I return. You dummy.”
And with that, she’s gone, having just transmuted her entire self into raw power for Thei’s use. And, with a feeling as un-nerving as his own heartbeat stopping, the absence of something that’s been with him for so long that he has never known life without it, he is suddenly alone inside his own head.
In the chat, the response is: … … … … …
Thei immediately begins melting down with panic, freaking out, screaming at Lucy demanding she come back.
…. ..
He continues panicking, desperately trying to cope, telling himself that if greater demons come back from death surely his friend could, too.
…. . ._. .
He keeps on freaking out, grieving over what he’s done, even as Ayesha’s joyful laughter fills his ears, his private chat greeted by nothing but ellipsis.
,.. .., ,, ,, ,.,,
Thei says, to the silence, “what do I do?”
I ask him to make an Int+ Occult check.
He succeeds on the roll.
I send him in reply… a Morse Code table, and sit back cackling as I wait for him to realize, then go back and translate all the “silence” he was getting.
“S S S S S”
“H I”
“H E R E”
“D U M M Y”
Somehow, Thei finds yet another depth of anguish and psychic pain, screaming at Lucy that she’d torment him like this and promising to kill her himself if she wasn’t already dead right now, for doing this to him.
One last message comes through the ellipsis for him:
“L O L L M A O”
And that moment was where the live-session would start the next day.

EDIT/tl:dr: the real reason I want to keep this as secret as possible is that one of my close friends who came out as an alcoholic was pretty much cast out of our wider friend group, doesn't get invited to do things as simple as golf, is looked down on, and even left his work over behavior towards him after 'coming out' so to speak. Even uninvited to weddings because people fear 'triggering' him etc.
Backstory
About 4 years ago my company was bought out for a hefty sum and I decided I would take the next few years getting in the best shape of my life, (I was already in pretty good shape), traveling, and hopefully finding a new significant other as mine without warning suddenly left me with no reason that is still a mystery to me. As I was still healing from the 'trauma' of losing a job (despite the obvious upside that I am grateful for), a significant other, I experienced multiple serious injuries, some sporting, and a massive TBI. I was put on just about every med you can imagine besides opiates and eventually underwent serious surgery. As I type this, I realize how truly wild the last few years have been. All that being said, these things didn't keep me from travel, etc I could've still done that but I didn't.
I am grateful for this opportunity and position in life but a couple years in I noticed my drinking was becoming almost daily, especially after being laid up on the couch after the injuries which i am now told by doctors is the OPPOSITE of what you should be doing after a TBI against what was previously thought as best practices/ knowledge. Bloody marys around noon, pre-gaming before happy hour or dinner, and more frequent blackouts. But hey, all my friends are 'partiers' and drink almost daily, so no big deal right?
More recently, I've started to really worry about my health, I've gained massive amounts of weight INSTEAD of being 'free' to get in the best shape of my life, my liver enzymes were elevated but not scary a couple months ago and every year I do a sober month or two which none of my friends can do so no problem right?
I've noticed increased drinking among my family members and one who is in good shape get diagnosed as pre-diabetic, he's very active as well. I've also noticed my blood sugar oddly lowering. So I stopped drinking and my new gf is very supportive (but is a pushover) and has noticed a struggle with it. Welp, her parents were in town to grab drinks and you can imagine the anxiety that produced so 'f it, it's just a day i don't want to look like a weirdo'. Well, I let that day turn into a whole day, then a week...now here I am hungover on a Monday morning with intention to do nothing all day but eat junk.
I wasn't even having 'urges' like I used to after the couple weeks. And now I am having them BAD again. It is so weird how this works.
I'm now afraid to get my bloodwork and have multiple big events (weddings, parties, etc) coming up that I worry I will 'relapse' into.
Worse, it seems like all my friends lives have just moved on as people's do (kids, new jobs, marriage) while I go BACKWARDS. I don't know what to do next with my life which makes the shame spiral even worse, and the fear deep down of being labeled.
I don't want the label of being an alcoholic, I just don't want to drink anymore...but my life is starting to feel like a sunk cost even though I KNOW it isn't. I've never fully leaned into trying new things career or otherwise or even leaned into being 'early retired' and what that would look like.
I want to try going clean from online support and maybe only letting my gf know, I don't want to go to meetings, is that possible? I don't want to be cast out or labeled among my friends...but maybe it's time I take a 'break' from socializing?
Thanks for any advice, I am constantly on this sub but I don't think I've posted before.

Is this any good?
The dimly lit room was filled with hushed whispers and nervous anticipation as the auctioneer's gavel struck down, finalizing the sale of an enigmatic painting. The crowd held their breaths, their eyes fixated on the young woman who had just won the cursed masterpiece. Her name was Amelia Harrington, a curious and adventurous soul, unaware of the darkness that would soon engulf her life.
Amelia had been drawn to the auction by the whispers of a mysterious artifact that had been discovered in an abandoned estate. The rumors spoke of an artist whose talent bordered on the supernatural, an artist whose creations were said to be imbued with a curse, one that would drive anyone who was unfortunate enough to own it to madness. As the auctioneer unveiled the painting, its presence was as haunting as the stories that had preceded it.
The canvas depicted a solitary figure standing beneath a gnarled tree, shrouded in an ethereal mist that seemed to seep into the room. The figure's face was obscured, hidden beneath a tattered hood, leaving only a pair of piercing, otherworldly eyes visible. The painting exuded an aura of darkness that sent a shiver down Amelia's spine, yet she couldn't tear her gaze away.
Driven by an inexplicable compulsion, Amelia raised her paddle, her heart pounding in her chest. The bidding escalated quickly, but she was determined. With each bid, an unsettling sense of foreboding washed over her, as if the painting itself resented her audacity. Yet, against all odds, Amelia emerged as the victor, the final echoes of the auctioneer's voice ringing in her ears.
As the painting was handed to her, Amelia's fingers trembled, brushing against the cold frame. She felt an icy chill radiating from the canvas, a sensation that whispered of untold secrets and ancient curses. Ignoring the unease that gripped her, she left the auction house, her prize tucked securely under her arm, unaware of the horrors that awaited her.
That night, as Amelia hung the painting in her apartment, the air seemed to thicken with an oppressive weight. The room grew colder, and the once-familiar space transformed into a realm of creeping shadows and hidden terrors. The eyes of the figure in the painting seemed to follow her, burning with an unnatural intensity.
Unbeknownst to Amelia, the curse had found its new victim. The painting had chosen her as its conduit, its vessel for malevolence. And as the moon cast its pale light through her window, the lines between reality and nightmare blurred, setting the stage for a harrowing journey into the darkness that lay within the cursed painting.
Amelia's nights became plagued with unsettling dreams. Visions of a desolate landscape, twisted figures, and a haunting melody that reverberated through her mind tormented her sleep. Each morning, she awoke with a deep sense of unease, her body bathed in a cold sweat, as if the nightmares had seeped into her waking world.
As days turned into weeks, the cursed painting exerted its influence over Amelia. Strange occurrences became commonplace in her apartment. Objects would inexplicably move from their rightful places, and whispers echoed through the halls, though she lived alone. The air grew thick with an unnatural heaviness, suffocating her with each breath.
Amelia's once-vibrant spirit began to wither under the weight of the painting's malevolence. Her friends and family noticed the subtle but undeniable change in her demeanor, her once-bright eyes now clouded with a haunting emptiness. They attempted to pry into her life, to offer support, but Amelia remained guarded, unwilling to burden them with the horrors she faced.
Driven by a desperate need for answers, Amelia immersed herself in research. She delved into the history of the painting and the artist who had conjured such darkness onto the canvas. Her findings were grim, tales of madness, tragedy, and a string of untimely deaths that seemed to follow the painting's path.
It was during her investigations that Amelia stumbled upon an old journal, hidden deep within the archives of a local library. The journal belonged to a previous owner of the painting, a man named Samuel Ashford. With trembling hands, she turned its brittle pages, each entry recounting an increasingly tormented existence.
According to Samuel's accounts, the painting had consumed his life, slowly draining him of his sanity and will to live. He wrote of whispers in the night, of the figure in the painting beckoning him, promising power and immortality in exchange for his soul. But the more Samuel resisted, the more the curse tightened its grip, leaving him a mere shadow of his former self. This scared Amelia, she didn’t want to return home to her apartment, but knew that she eventually had to. So she walked around town the entire day, spending as much time as she possibly could away from her apartment. She eventually had to go back because it was getting cold and windy out and she didn’t have a jacket with her. Plus she started to miss her home, and the painting. When Amelia returned back home to her tiny apartment,she was shocked to find it destroyed. Furniture was knocked over, plates, and glassware were broken it looked as if someone had broken in, but she had to unlock her door to get back inside, so she didn’t believe that someone had broken into her apartment. The next thought that she had was an insane one, the thought was to blame the painting for her apartment being destroyed. She pushed that thought out of her head knowing that it had to be something more logical.
Amelia's heart raced as she surveyed the wreckage, her mind struggling to make sense of the chaos. Deep down, a nagging voice whispered that the painting was to blame, that its curse had taken a more tangible form, wreaking havoc within her sanctuary. But she couldn't allow herself to believe it. Instead, she called the authorities, reporting a break-in and the destruction left in its wake.
Days turned into nights, and the atmosphere in Amelia's apartment grew increasingly oppressive. Shadows seemed to dance and twist, taking on sinister forms, and the air carried a putrid stench, as if something rotten lurked just beyond her senses. Amelia's nerves were frayed, her sanity teetering on the edge.
Sleep became an elusive luxury for Amelia, her nights plagued by visions that bled into her waking hours. She saw the figure from the painting, its eyes glowing with an unholy light, beckoning her to join its wretched realm. Its haunting melody echoed through her mind, a siren's call that threatened to consume her completely.
But of course things got worse, whenever she left the house or tried to but something would make her violently ill every time she crossed the threshold of her apartment. She had no idea what was going on but she knew that it had to be something to do with the painting. So that night before going to bed she took a pair of scissors to the painting, tore up the painting then put the pieces of the painting right outside of her door. Once she was done destroying it she went to bed praying that that had worked and that the curse would no longer plague her. She had a very restless night full of bad dreams, becoming ill and she could have sworn that she heard something outside of her bedroom door. Amelia was too freaked out and too tired to investigate.
The next morning when Amelia woke up she stepped outside of her bedroom and saw the painting hanging on her wall perfectly intact like nothing had happened to it, like Amelia hadn’t taken a pair of scissors to it the night before.
Amelia was lost she didn’t know what to think much less what to do. So she just smiled and went to make her morning cup of coffee. She then sat down on the couch that was facing the painting and stared at it. She didn’t know how long she was there just staring. She now knew that nothing could save her from the painting. So she just sat there and stared at the painting for days. She didn’t get up to eat, she didn’t drink anything. She just sat there in silence looking at the monstrosity that she had bought, that ruined her life.
It is said that she died on that couch staring at a blank wall. The painting had vanished and there was nothing there. Nobody knows what exactly happened to Amelia or where the supposed painting went but it was gone and tragically so was she never to be seen again

Hey everyone!
Welp. I have sensitized my skin + destroyed my skin barrier. I thought I could beat the elements in my outside job - but alas, I fought a hail storm and lost the other day. The dirt in the wind exfoliates my skin a little too well.
Existence is pain - my skin burns just sitting on the couch, no products on.
Enter skincare. I'm overwhelmed. I would like to be whelmed.
I managed to start an extremely simple routine and now I'm ready to add in more products but want to heal my skin barrier before breaking out the Vit C and exfoliants.
Skin background: dry + dehydrated in a hot + humid environment (southern USA).
lots of allergies: almost all nuts, shea, pineapple, yogurt, avobenzene, snail mucin, benzalkonium chloride.
My routine:
AM: water wash, Skin1004 Madagascar Centella Ampoule, alternate between Beauty of Joseon Relief Sun: Rice + Probiotics & Neutrogena Sheer Zinc Mineral Sunscreen Lotion SPF 50. i guess my sunscreen is my moisturizer.
PM: Vanicream Gentle Facial Cleanser, Skin1004 Madagascar Centella Ampoule, Purito Dermide Cica Sleeping Pack - I really like ths, but definitely need a moisturizer under as this.
Tried:

• Cerave moisturizing cream - caused my eyes to swell.
• TirTir Milk Skin Toner - made my skin feel very dry. smelled like rubbing alcohol.

So far the products in the list below look super promising for hydration and skin barrier repair.
But, do you think any of them are redundant? Minus hyaluronic acid, that’s in everything.
For instance, do I really need that Tiam B5 Toner if I have the Purito B5 Re-barrier Cream? Or a dedicated beta glucan serum if two products already contain beta glucan (Skinfood Propolis Serum, RNW Ceramide Plus Serum)? Is a daytime and a nighttime moisturizer overkill? Should I just get Stratia Lipid Gold?
any + all help or recommendations is greatly appreciated. My skin will forever be in your debt <3
Products:

• Muji Mild Oil Cleanser
• Vanicream Gentle Facial Cleanser - own + best cleanser for my skin!
• Tiam My Signature Vita B5 Toner
• Aprilskin Artemisia Rice Toner
• Make P:rem Safe Me. Relief Toner
• Pyunkang Yul Essence Toner
• Vegreen Fragrance-Free Nature Mucin Serum
• Iunik Beta Glucan Power Moisture Serum
• Benton Fermentation Essence
• Beauty of Joseon Ginseng Essence Water
• Dr. Ceuracle Vegan Kombucha Tea Essence
• Skin1004 Madagascar Centella Ampoule - own + adore - redness who?
• Skinfood Royal Honey Propolis Enrich Essence
• RNW Der. Concentrate Ceramide Plus Serum
• Cosrx Full Fit Propolis Light Cream (day)
• Purito B5 Panthenol Rebarrier Cream (night)
• Purito Dermide Cica Sleeping Pack - own. like but need a moisturizer under.
• Beauty of Joseon Relief Sun: Rice + Probiotics - own.
• Neutrogena Sheer Zinc Mineral Sunscreen Lotion SPF 50 - own. no white cast. i'm still pale somehow.

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Memory Transcription Subject: Hileen, Krakotl Fugitive Recovery Agent
Date [standardized human time]: November 28th, 2136
It'd been a while since I sat in Marlig's office for a talk face-to-face. Given the agency's secluded location at the edge of the downtown region, it was a chore to drop by when it wasn't for business, but I'd deemed the matter at hand to be worth my time.
I passed by Nampi at her desk on my way to the door and she gave me a coy glare as I carried on. Trying to ignore her risible ear waggle, I turned the corner to the door with my boss’s name painted on the glass panel where I could hear the frantic crumpling of paper.
Quietly, I entered Marlig's office without prompt as I knew he hated to be spooked by knocking. My mentor was surprisingly spry for a bird at his age, sorting through papers with one wing and an eye while using his talons with the other to set away the papers he had splayed out.
“Hileen!” he chirped. “Glad you could make it in today. I was just finishing up my paperwork. Take a seat.”
It was always nice to hear him drop the professional motif for a more grandfatherly attitude when speaking in person. I did as he suggested and took a seat while he grumbled to himself over the sorting. My eye caught a few of the old contracts he was rifling through and saw that some dated back to his days as an agent.
Eventually, he left some sitting out as he sequestered the rest back into their files, sorted by a dichotomy that only he and Nampi could comprehend fully. He motioned with a wing for me to peruse and I turned the first one to face me to find it was my first contract, signed by me in a sloppy fashion. “This takes me back a couple of years.”
“Slick bastard thought he could get away on a forklift but you showed him! Certainly more exciting than my first day!”
“Mm-hmm. And it was when I nearly got impaled that you had the idea to commission all of us utility vests.”
He chuckled, “I really should’ve done so sooner. Cuts and scratches were already a risk, but a forklift was a new one!”
I flipped through the pages of each report, finding that Marlig's notes were filled with praises of my work. There were highs and lows, but I was flattered to find that the grizzled krakotl held my performance in such high regard.
“Flawless interception!” read one footnote about me catching a runner. “Couldn't have done it better myself!”
Marlig waited patiently as I browsed quickly through each page, realizing more and more how the notes also marked improvements in my work. How I found it easier to talk down a rowdy client, or apprehend them in the case that they were beyond helping on my part. Flowery language plastered most pages with him fawning over my work as a doting father would to his prodigal child.
The trend took a sharp turn as the notes became fewer and more critical the closer the dates reached to the present. I brushed the others aside with a wing to peruse the final paper. “And this…”
“Is Tac. Your latest contract. The most recent in a line of declining performance since the interview. This has become a pattern, Hileen, and its consequences are beginning to reach beyond yourself. Paji and Vesek resigned recently for personal reasons, which leaves us even less hands on deck than before. That's four people to cover the entire municipal region, and maybe even beyond, should needs arise. Three, if we include this little probation I have you on.”
“What was I supposed to do? Marlig, these ‘jobs’ you've got us working on overstep the contracts we were signed on with. Our job is to make sure people obey their court-mandated duties, not drag them off to the facilities ourselves!”
“... So the trip we took to the facilities did bother you.”
A sigh clicked in my throat as he reminded me. “Is that what happens to the people we take in, Marlig? Is that what would've happened to your wife?”
His feathers ruffled.
“That's what happens to those who are too dangerous to the general public to be left roaming free. Not everyone we deal with winds up there, but everyone can be subject to it. Miskela sued for her exoneration and proved in court that she was not diseased. I brought you there to show you how it helps the people, but I see now that it was a mistake. I understand why you were so perturbed, really, but it's how things have been for centuries. It's how we've protected ourselves from the dangers out there.”
“You were willing to let Barsul be interned there, too.”
Marlig flinched and sighed as he swept the papers towards himself once I'd signaled I was done. He turned one eye to me while he sorted them.
“There's no room for favoritism, girl. I negotiated for him to be allowed to walk free, and look where that got me. That boy - your neighbor - suffered the consequences of my nepotism. So too would the girl, had nobody intervened.”
“Like Richard.”
“The human, yes. Or you. Or the police. Where does this sudden obsession with humans come from, anyway? I get notifications of you talking about the acceptance of them all the time on forums.”
“Does it even need explaining?”
“Well, I guess not, no, but it's certainly an about-face from the way you used to talk about them with me beforehand.”
“People can change, for better or worse. Which one I fall under remains to be seen.”
Marlig stroked at the plumage on his neck as he finished his sorting. “I hope it's the former, for your sake. Was there any reason you came to talk, or were you just checking that I hadn't gone senile?”
“Well, I was hoping to borrow your secretary for the evening.”
He perked up while his eyes narrowed and he laced his fingers together with curiosity. “You… want to spend an evening with Nampi?”
“It's not what you're insinuating, but yes.”
“I was insinuating nothing,” he warbled coyly. “Go ahead and take her, and make sure to split the bill at dinner.”
“Pain-in-the-ass geezer. I'll keep in touch if your friend causes any more trouble.”
“Keep in touch regardless. Miskela and I get lonely in our old age,” he called back. “Take care.”
I stepped out into the hallway and turned toward the desk where I could hear the secretary's claws tapping furtively at her keyboard. Nampi sat silently with her ears and tail in a relaxed position that implied a bored demeanor. There was barely any response as I stood before her, waiting politely for her acknowledgment that never came.
Hesitantly, I cleared my throat.
An ear raised in acknowledgement, but her focus remained on the screen of her computer. “Mhm?”
“Do you…?”
Her ear rotated toward me, though she still maintained a passive attitude as she continued to glare mindlessly at the monitor.
“Are you free this evening?”
“Well, I'm quite booked, I believe. Why do you ask?”
I was surprised at her curt, dry tone. She hadn't spoken with me like this since we first got to know one another.
“Well,” I started. “I realized something. Every time we went out, whether it was clubbing, or dinner, or even walking around the parks, you always footed the bill. And so…”
Slowly, her other ear perked up and I saw her keystrokes slow down as she listened in.
“I wanted to return the favor?”
Her lips smacked as she opened her mouth, though paused before she spoke. “How could you possibly do that?”
“With a little gesture of friendship.”
Nampi's horizontal pupil turned up toward me and her tail twitched.
I continued, “So that belt you're wearing? It's the same belt you've worn since we first met. And I know you're the pragmatic type who'd never spend a credit more than she needs to, except for all the times you do"- her ears twitched in indignance -"I wanted to see about getting you a little something… extra?”
Her paws raised from the keyboard and she leaned in, resting her snout on her palms. “Go on.”
The bubbly venlil's tail sold out her collected facade as it twitched with anticipation. She was cornered and she didn't even know it yet.
“Well, I found just the place on the other side of town where we can start. It's a place almost as rich and indulgent as yourself.”
“The Platinum Paw? I mean3”
Her ears folded back in embarrassment as she cracked. She wasn't cut out for acting anyway.
“So that's what it's called! Jeez, I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was called. Now what do you say? We go over there and find you something nice—”
I hadn’t even finished my thought before Nampi had grabbed her bag and was out the door, giving me a playful tail flick that said come and get me.

The place I suggested was in a shopping center on the opposite side of town, though easily accessible because of its proximity to the transport rails. Nampi had insisted on grabbing something to eat beforehand and so now gleefully bit into a bundle of stalks that had been “grilled” as explained from the food truck we'd stopped at.
Her tail flicked back and forth with her usual enthusiasm as we entered the massive complex of stores. The roofless plan allowed the natural, orange sun to flood the upper levels while artificial lighting illuminated the ground level wherever the light couldn't reach.
The place was built in the last decade by the previous City Magister in a bid for popularity, though ultimately for naught as he would lose the vote following a scandal involving an iftali priestess and a carved bar of soap. I had to say that despite being sick in the head, he sure had a great sense of decor.
Nampi snacked away, joining me in admiring the scenery as we continued to the place I’d planned out for us. Aimless chatter all melded together into a single, thrumming murmur as pedestrians navigated the many levels and stores offered in the place.
A troupe of children passed by us, held in a chain of tails and arms as they were escorted by a pair of venlil who I assumed were students and teachers on a school trip. I caught a whiff of a sweet, aromatic breeze and found it to come from a perfume shop on the same level as us; naturally, venlil were not to be found inside.
We passed a fountain where a couple sat on the edge, their tails twined together as they giggled and flirted. I turned and caught Nampi watching them as well, though she awkwardly returned to sucking the remains of her meal from her claws when we made eye contact. Her ears lifted when I raised a wing to signal to the store we were going to stop at first.
“Platinum Paw, The Greatest Fashion Emporium For Everyone!”
The title alone was painfully cliche, taken to the tenth power by the brightly lit store taking up three department slots. Despite the flashy exterior, though, it was the best place to shop for belts, brooches, and bracelets alike. Customers who looked like they earned my yearly salary in a week browsed the higher end brands while I brought my friend to the section I wanted to show her.
Her ears were held up as we stood together next to a shelf chock full of fashionable bags and bandoliers of every variety.
“Pick one,” I told her.
Nampi's ears shot to a straight pose in surprise, “Any?”
“Within reason. I've got a few extra credits to blow and I know nobody better to spend it on.”
With an inviting headtilt, I let Nampi peruse the shelves at her leisure. Her lips pursed together and her tail flicked with glee as she fingered at every piece that caught her eye. I chuckled at her outburst of enthusiasm while turning to find my own items to gloss over.
A breeze from outside nipped at my beak while I considered what I’d like to purchase. The place dripped with an atmosphere of faux hospitality, from the bright blue-stained floorboards to the radio prattling off advertisements in a sickeningly sweet tone to the faint, fruity aroma of scented cleaner. It was oppressive as only a fissan-owned company could be to the senses.
What I wouldn’t pay to see how a human would fare in such an environment.
I knew they were social creatures at least, but I had no doubt that the predatory senses of a human, so honed to hunting, would get overstimulated in this center of gaudy indulgence. Knowing I was something of a predator myself made me sympathize provided that even I had to squint to keep the pale lights inside from searing my eyes. I could only imagine how the arboreal eyes of a Terran would fare. I was so lost in thought imagining how lost the Terrans would be that I could almost ignore the obnoxious giggling and metallic rattling coming from behind me.
Risking a peek at the source, into my sight came a pair of venlil, one a male carrying a pair of bags as well as a couple more strapped to his belt. The bored expression in his eyes was not one of a man who was in high spirits. The other venlil was a woman who was the source of the noise.
Her mottled gray pelt was accented by a tasteful belt design, free of almost any practical functions but not flashy or excessive in garnishment either. At least, that’s what I would say, were it not for the braid of beads that dangled on the belt, jingling with each bounce of the lively woman’s stride. It was clear that such a gaudy accessory was intended to draw attention to her, though why was a mystery. Certainly, the shiny braids seemed designed as decoration first and practical second.
She turned about and I faced back to my browsing before she could catch me staring. Nampi was nowhere in sight, though I figured she was somewhere behind the shelf, sifting through every accessory on the section I'd suggested.
Clink.
Something pelted to my immediate right. I tilted my head to spot a tree nut shell clattering to the floor. Without being able to guess where it came from, I had to wonder what could've launched it over this way. Even with my keen eyesight, nobody in the crowd seemed to be a suspect.
Clink.
Another shell pelted my vicinity, ricocheting off of the floor and hitting the shelf I was standing next to. I ruffled my feathers in frustration - clearly, someone was trying to get my attention, though I couldn't make out who it was. Out of the corner of my vision, the woman from before eyed me curiously as I looked about, though I wasn't interested in engaging with her.
Thwack.
One more shell came flying and, unfortunately, the aim on this one was true, nailing me on the beak. Irritated, I stormed out of the store to find the source of the instigator. I scanned over the bodies to find anyone who could've been responsible for this indignity, eventually concluding that it came from the dining area across the walkway.
Whoever was responsible was in for an earful and I was already structuring which of the offender's family members would be acceptable as fodder for stray words. As I approached, I found the tables were mostly empty save for one, which made my heart begin to drop as I met eyes with the only occupant. Suddenly, I was much less inclined to hurl insults.
“Oh, hi there!” Qitel called out in a sickly sweet tone. “Come, take a seat! We have much to discuss!”
The Exterminator clutched a bag of tree nuts in his claws, a pile of discarded shells already gathered on the table next to him. He grabbed another as I approached, effortlessly prying the shell in half between two claws and tossed the contents into his mouth. “Good protein, these,” he commented as I sat down.
“Must be for that good arm you've got there,” I mumbled. I caught sight of a couple of bags beneath his chair, seemingly from one of the tech stores contained within the center.
“Bah, it's guesswork. So how are you? I haven't heard from you since we worked together!”
“I was just spending time with a friend, shopping and enjoying my time off.”
“Your time off? Oh, am I interrupting something?”
His snide tone irked me, though now wasn’t the time for interjections. “You are, Qitel,” I replied with no shortage of vitriol in my tone. “But I see no harm in chatting for a bit.”
“Good, because I have some merchandise”- he reached into his belt pocket and deposited a couple of items onto the table -“and you’re just the person to look into it, human sympathizer.”
I drew a terse breath in shock, but my worries were quelled when I considered that if Qitel had the power to do anything about it, he would’ve done so instead of approaching me so discreetly. A glance down at the item on the table showed that he was presenting what looked to be a tracker as well as a personal drive. “Found in the garbage,” he told me.
“The guild resorts to dumpster diving when they already have such a bloated budget now?”
“No, featherbrain, I have decided to keep this for myself. These items were found together, sealed in a plastic pouch, and placed in a garbage bin. The city has bans against electronics being placed into public bins, and so I was curious why this wound up in there. Managed to get my coworker, a techie, to crack it open and…”
Qitel reached into his belt again, glowering at me with the same condescending gaze he’d given me when I first saw his face. He seemed to revel in digging for the item as slowly as possible to waste my time. Finally, he found whatever he was looking for and revealed it as a printed piece of paper, folded into eighths. The snobby yotul threw the unfurled paper on the table and rolled it toward me.
I craned my neck to look at the parchment, though I was immediately perplexed by the text on it; it appeared to be some sort of form, going by the boxes with words on the inside, followed by blank lines. “Found on the drive, here,” Qitel told me, jabbing a claw to the storage. “Translator shows it as Terran writing.”
Drawing my holopad from my satchel, I held it over the paper with the translator to get an understanding. Surely enough, the language on it came up positive as a variant of Terran writing and I was affirmed in it being a form of some sort based on the wording of the text. The boxes seemed like an odd sort of job application, asking for the typical name, contacts, and prior work experiences, but quickly took a strange turn as it began asking for where their home on Earth was prior to arrival, what family they had on Venlil Prime if any, and where they worked, implying that they were seeking individuals who were already employed.
I knew little about human employment methods, but I didn’t imagine that sourcing individuals from other jobs was the most efficient way to gain a workforce. Terran service industries already dotted the planet while many humans also found work in local environments. So what was the angle that the creator of this application was going for?
Most concerningly was that the paper had no insignia, identifying marks, or noted address to return the form to. “And where did you find it again?”
“In the garbage, alongside this intact tracker that was activated at the time of recovery. Y’know, when I was dumpster diving. Text on the document showed it was addressed to one ‘Choctaw Nexus’.”
“A pseudonym of some sort?”
“Clearly. Short sorting through the archives shows the first name traces back to the group out east - perhaps you've heard about them. How the name and the items we have here are connected is beyond my understanding, but-”
“Well, this has been an absolutely riveting discussion about your collection of trash, Qitel,” I told him as I stood up to leave. “But this really sounds like an issue to be resolved by your fellow guildsmen.”
The sound of another shell splitting rang out as I turned away.
“I'm not through talking with you, predator.”
The sting as a piece nailed me in the back of the head prompted me to whirl back around, sticking my beak in the insolent yotul's snout. “Perhaps you've forgotten, little man,” I cooed in an equally bittersweet tone to the one he gave me before. “The krakotl never had a problem with settling issues the old-fashioned way before the interview. Try me and find out why I'm in the line of work I am.”
“Oh, we wouldn't want that in such a"- he waved his paw to a group of passersby who had stopped to gawk at my display -”public forum. Please, contain yourself.”
I had to force the feathers on my back to settle and I raised my head away from him. “What else is it you wanted, then?”
“Well, I'd appreciate if you took this merchandise off my paws,” he told me as he brushed the electronics and printout toward me.
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you're closer to the humans than I'd ever care to be, and may be able to find out who this Choctaw Nexus is. Something about the package just feels… off. And I know when to trust my feelings. Besides, we both know that you know where Tac is, don't we?”
“I don't-”
“We have videographic evidence that you conspired with a human - of the aforementioned squatters, no less - and let the kid escape. You're not as sneaky as you think, and if we find this ‘Choctaw Nexus’ turns out to be a bad actor that can be traced back to them - and by extension, you - well, there’d be no talking down my boss from having you dealt with. By helping me find out who this is, you may yet be able to clear your name of any wrongdoing.”
I clenched my beak tightly to maintain a straight face. Qitel stood up with a flourish and discarded the bag he was carrying in a bin.
“See, the krakotl were never special for using threats and bullying to get results. It's because you were good at killing predators,” he jeered. “Now, if you don't mind, this primitive has appointments to attend to… old lady who got trampled courtesy of the humans and all. You stay out of trouble, Hileen, and stay in touch.”
The self-assured marsupial melded into the crowd in a matter of seconds, leaving me with a table containing dumpster trophies and a pile of shells. Reluctantly, I swept the shells into my wing and dumped them into the bin before gathering the other two items he'd left me and stuffing them into my bag. I'd been gone from Nampi long enough and she would notice my absence before long.
Crossing the walkway again, I could spot from where I stood that Nampi was indeed still in the Platinum Paw. I approached, and soon I found that while she didn't seem to have noticed me stepping away, she was definitely in a soured mood based on the sagging of her ears and tail. With my talons clacking on the floorboards, I hustled to her side and her mood chippered up ever so slightly as she heard me approach.
I chimed in, “Find anything?”
“Everything. I want everything, Red, and I can't decide on what I want. They all just look so great!”
From behind, a voice called out, “Nampi!”
We both jumped at the exclamation and turned about to spot the venlil lady I'd seen before spring from behind the shelf. The man poked his head from behind the shelf too, though less enthusiastically and with yet another bag in his clutches. My friend's eyes widened in surprise with her tail and ears perking up in kind. With a light in her eyes, she exclaimed, “Nalek!”
The two embraced with shrill squeals and laughter as Nalek's accompaniment and I traded awkward glances.
“It's been too long!”
“You never stayed in contact!”
The women exchanged giddy greetings and the pompous stranger turned to me, leering over me as though she was sizing me up.
“Who's your friend here?”
“Oh she's actually my-...”
Nampi paused for a moment, looking back to me.
“Yeah, she's a friend.”
“A friend,” Nalek repeated while her eyes flicked between Nampi and I. “Right.”
Somehow, I get the impression that that was judgemental.
“I'm Hileen, by the way,” I chirped, “if names are to be exchanged.”
“Hileen, that's a lovely name! And such plumage to match, it's a wonder you aren't swarmed by suitors!”
Internally, I groaned at the notion. The idea of being approached by someone to state their interest in me made me queasy, to say the least. Thankfully, I never had that issue growing up as most of the other drakes in school were too busy chasing girls who didn't have a lousy pigmentation mutation such as myself.
“I'm flattered,” I told Nalek before turning to the man whose name had yet to be introduced. “May we get your name?”
“Sask.”
His response was succinct and tonally flat, though there was a brief silence as I expected him to elaborate. Nalek's beads jingled as she lashed him on the calf with her tail.
“I'm Sask, Nalek's fiancée,” he added, throwing her a look to see if she was satisfied.
Nampi gasped with her paws over her snout. “Fiancée! Nalek, you're getting married and you never even told me!”
“Well, I felt a little guilty since it technically broke our pact we made when we were pups. You remember that?”
“Of course! Why wouldn’t I? ‘Let she who bonds through betrothal first be cast out unto the world for all to admonish her!’”
Sask and I both gave inquisitive expressions. “You two spoke like that as pups?” Sask asked.
“Well, I'm paraphrasing,” Nampi admitted with a playful ear waggle. “But you get the gist.”
“Indeed, they do, sweet Nampi. Now, may I ask what you're doing bringing your avian friend here into this store on this fine claw?”
“Oh, no no, she's the one treating me! Isn't that right, Red?”
I saw her tail twitch and was sure it took restraint not to tickle my neck with it as we stood before her old friend.
“She's been a good friend,” I explained. “So I wanted to reverse the roles for once and treat her to something myself.”
Nampi skipped over to me and wrapped her arm around me, glancing back to her old friend. “See? We'd all be so lucky to have a… friend like her.”
“So I've witnessed. But perhaps you're a bit stuck, as I've seen you prancing up and down these aisles for a while, no? Maybe you don't know what you want?”
“Nalek, you know I've never been good about making my mind up.”
“Some things never change, you ditz. Tell you what: you and Sask go find us a seat and we can catch up all we'd like when we're not taking up aisle space, yes? So shoo! I'll help Hileen here pick one out for you!”
With a bored grunt, Sask made off with the goods he had strapped to himself, followed by Nampi who gave me one more playful tail flick before dashing off into the crowd. I looked back to the mottled snout of Nalek who watched her friend wander off with a wistful glance.
“She was my first, you know.”
“Your what now.”
“Love. Way back when we were growing from pups into young adults back in private education, we explored much together. We saw each other through a lot, including the less savory parts of finding a mate. When Nampi realized it wasn't the boys she was into, she turned to me, and I offered my hand as her stalwart companion… to a point.”
“You weren't interested in her the same way?”
“I'd grown up seeing her as a sister of sorts, so ultimately, when we split it off, we stayed close as friends and she never seemed to be bothered by it. She struggled to find others in school who had the same interests as herself, but she never fussed about it.”
Nalek's claws browsed over a set of pouched bandoliers made with intricate embroidering. “Have you two… spent the night together? Alone?”
Spiritually, I reeled from the inquiry. The whiplash from that question was equitable to being smacked by a human. “Wha- why? How's that pertinent to the subject at hand?”
“That sounds like a ‘yes’ to me,” she purred with a smug glance my way.
I didn't need to begin to list the different ways such a question was violating to our privacy, and yet this woman was treating it like a game.
“Not really your concern, ma'am.”
Nalek chuckled as she picked out one of the bandoliers and inspected it with her claws. “I'd like to think that she and I still have that old connection, despite everything. And to that end, I know that she's no slag and doesn't trust easy. To see her be so vulnerable around you and to talk so highly of someone who's clearly below her income level as a predator…”
She stretched the bandolier out to appreciate the design in its entirety.
“Well, that's something special. Here"- she foisted the accessory into my wings as I stood gobsmacked -"this just screams her name.”
“This is, like, double my budget.”
“Love don't come cheap, darling. You wanna see good things happen, sometimes you've gotta step out of your comfort zone and grasp for it!”
“I'm being lectured by a rich woman on finances.”
“It's a philosophy that goes beyond money, ‘Red.’ The humans have a saying, in their horrendously predatory nomenclature, that contains a kernel of truth: ‘you miss every shot you don't take’.”
Yep, that's definitely a human phrase.
Nalek's steely braid rattled with every flick of the tail as we proceeded through the checkout.
“You want things to change between you and her?” she continued. “Don't just wait for it to happen.”
She let the conversation rest there as we finished the purchase, possibly to let me recuperate mentally from the damage done to my account. Outside, we found our respective partners sitting at a table with Sask looking up in boredom as Nampi chatted away, though she immediately shut up and turned to me with excited flicks of her tail as she saw what I was carrying.
I held it toward her and she happily shot to her feet, effortlessly removing the tags with her claws and clipping it to her belt. Nalek clapped and waggled her tail as the giddy lady did a whirl about to let us admire the accessory. While I'd have preferred one with pockets to give it a more practical use, I decided to let Nalek have the victory as our mutual friend clearly enjoyed it.
The rest of the paw was a blur as the two friends chatted without end until Sask eventually reminded his betrothed that they had a schedule to attend to. Though Nalek offered to call us a taxi home as a gesture of kindness, I saw through her ruse to determine that she was trying to pull a fast one on me - the clever ear flick she gave as we boarded the automated vehicle sold it for me.
We sat in the seats as the vehicle took the express ride home.
Nampi cleared her throat before she spoke, “Thank you for taking some time to spend with me, I know you've had a lot less free time as of late.”
“It's a prison of my own design, if I must be honest. A feedback loop of working a job that doesn't guarantee a paycheck to pay for rent that keeps going up, and thus needing to work more.”
The venlil giggled and chided me, “You really should've stayed in university.”
“There's a lotta 'should haves’ that've led me to this point. No use wondering what could have been.”
“There's always a use for wondering what could have been, Hileen.”
She wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
“Every decision I make, I always wonder what I could've done differently that it'd have turned out better,” she explained as she waved her free paw to the sky. “It's how you grow as a person, Red.”
Her silky pelt felt heavenly in contrast to the chilly air from outside, making it hard to let her words sink in.
“You rich types seem chock full of philosophy. I wonder if I'll become a brooding orator when I get some cash to my name.”
The cab filled with laughter as we veered around the final corner to my neighborhood, as it was the closest stop. The door popped open accompanied by a chime from the drone, signaling for me to depart.
But before my talons could even hit the pavement, I felt Nampi's scrawny arms wrap around my waist and she let out a pitiful mewl again.
“You don't need to get off here,” she told me with a pouty expression. “We can spend the rest of the paw at my place.”
“I'd love it, but I need to water my plants and get the month's bills sorted before they're due. Again.”
One claw at a time, I plucked her paws from around my waist and the childish venlil conceded, giving me another ear waggle as I departed. “I'll see you tomorrow?” I asked her.
“If you still have eyes by then, then you can bet your ass!”
“I still don't gamble.”
“You'll come around to it eventually.”
I shut the door to the taxi and watched as it carted away the one venlil who I ever truly felt on the same wavelength as. Fiddling with the lock felt like more of a chore than usual at this time as I felt a little voice tugging at the back of my head.
“You miss every shot you don't take.”
The lock felt jammed as I began to jiggle it more vigorously with the electric key. Either the RFID or NFC readers were messed up, as the lock refused to accept my key. I looked up and down the street, though Nampi was now long gone for me to rescind my earlier rejection.
“Every decision I make, I wonder what I could've done differently.”
The door rattled as I grew more and more infuriated with the lock. Qitel's smug expression as he threatened me so boldly in public played back in my head, and I wondered what would've happened had I decided to go through with insulting his mother. Better yet, I wondered what could've been had I not backed down in the face of his unflinching confidence.
Bzzt. The lock rejected my key again.
“Raagh! You fucking useless hunk of junk!”
I squawked in anger and kicked against the door, careless of the consequences of having Markol back down here to admonish another of his tenants for causing a ruckus. The walls were surprisingly sturdy for how ineffective the venlil architecture looked on the surface and I reeled back in pain as my leg throbbed.
Click.
I looked to my left to see that it wasn't my door that came open, but that of the twins. The door cracked open ever so slightly, no doubt nudged by the force of my tirade and I sighed. Nobody was expected to be home at this time, with Vili being away and Luka leaving early to get a head start.
Luka had been given a stern talking-to by the landlord for allowing one of those cats into his apartment through neglect, and I was disappointed that he seemed to have not learned his lesson this time. In fact, it seemed he hadn't even thought to lock the door this time.
I took it upon myself to shut the door for him before turning back to my own apartment door. Grasping the key with one talon, I turned it ever so gently, though the lock still refused to give in.
With a bit more force, the torsion applied to the key felt as though it should've snapped it by now. Markol sure didn't waste any expense for the security for this place, doubtlessly as a result of his history in electronic security, but I wished now that he had provided a way in that didn't rely on privately sourced locks.
Considering my options as I stood trapped outside, I realized that I had never gotten around to paying for a new lock for Tadi. I'd considered contacting her to inform her that Tac had made it out of town safely, but that'd involve also telling her that her son was now in the care of humans as if that was a better outcome to her.
Stepping out front, I realized that there was one more option I hadn't considered: my window. I usually forgot to lock it after I was through letting air circulate and I was silently grateful to myself for this absentmindedness now more than ever. Sticking a foot on the threshold, I lifted myself in a way that'd allow me to have leverage to force the window open.
The window made me fight for every inch, but I felt a strange satisfaction as it slowly opened up into an entrance that I could squeeze my way through. I let out a sigh as my talons clicked against the cool floor and slid the window shut.
I laid my satchel on the couch and turned back to the door, ready to unleash my fury on the disobedient object. But as I reached for the lock to manually open the door, I noted that the lights on the RFID interface both flashed at once, blinking erratically. Red and green flickered without rhyme or reason, indicating that it was both active and inactive.
As pretty as the colors were, I now knew that Markol's locks were not as reliable as he had touted them about: typically, such would not occur unless the device was damaged deliberately, and yet nothing indicated that I'd had uninvited guests. One could pray that those cats didn't secretly know how to cobble together an ECM jammer, but my personal wager was on faulty equipment.
Settling in, I browsed my favorite soaps on the television. For what was intended to be a day of relaxation and show of affection for a friend, I found myself rather wound up over all the things that added up. Couples threw around flowery words and swooned over one another on screen as I felt the tension diffuse. My holopad rang and I turned it over to spot that Nampi was informing me that she'd arrived home safely.
>>> Feels empty here, all alone.
She made sure to drive the point home with a sticker of a venlil making a pouty expression.
Next time, I thought to myself, I'll get it right for you, Nampi.
[ First / Previous / Next ]

It was a cold, windy night in November. The kind of night where the wind howls through the trees, making them creak and groan like they’re alive. I was alone in the house. My parents had gone out for the evening, and my older brother was at a friend’s house. They wouldn’t be back until late, so it was just me, the silence, and the unsettling noises the old house made in the dark.
I was in the living room, curled up on the couch with a blanket and a bowl of popcorn, watching a movie to pass the time. I’d turned off all the lights except for the flickering glow of the TV, which cast eerie shadows on the walls. I tried not to think about how quiet it was, how empty the house felt, but the creaking and groaning of the house made it hard to ignore.
Then I heard it. A faint sound, just outside the window. I froze, the remote slipping from my hand and clattering to the floor. The noise was gone as quickly as it had come, replaced by the steady thrumming of my heartbeat in my ears. I told myself it was nothing, just the wind or maybe a stray cat, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease.
I forced myself to keep watching the movie, trying to lose myself in the familiar story. But then I heard it again—a soft, scraping sound, like metal against wood. This time, it was coming from the back door. I muted the TV and strained to listen, every muscle in my body tense.
The scraping turned into a quiet, persistent rattle, as if someone was trying to pick the lock. I felt a chill run down my spine. My mind raced. Should I call my parents? The police? My phone was in the kitchen, and I’d have to cross the dark hallway to get to it.
I crept off the couch, moving as silently as I could, my heart pounding in my chest. As I reached the hallway, the rattling stopped. The sudden silence was almost worse than the noise. I held my breath, listening for any sign of movement. Then, a soft thud echoed through the house. Someone was inside.
Panicking, I darted into the kitchen and grabbed my phone. I dialed 999, my hands shaking so badly I almost dropped it. As I pressed the phone to my ear, I heard heavy footsteps coming down the hallway.
“999, what’s your emergency?” the operator’s voice was calm and steady, a lifeline in the darkness.
“There’s someone in my house,” I whispered, my voice trembling. “Please, send help.”
I could hear the intruder moving closer, the floorboards creaking under their weight. The operator assured me that help was on the way, but I didn’t know how long it would take. I needed to hide.
I slipped into the pantry, pulling the door closed just as the footsteps entered the kitchen. Through the slats, I could see a dark figure moving around, searching for something. I clamped a hand over my mouth, trying to stifle my breathing.
The intruder moved methodically, opening cupboards and drawers, the clinking of silverware and the thud of doors slamming shut filling the silence. I prayed they wouldn’t check the pantry, that they’d take whatever they wanted and leave.
But then the door creaked open, and I found myself staring into the eyes of a masked figure. I screamed, dropping my phone. The operator’s voice echoed from the floor, but I couldn’t make out the words. The intruder lunged at me, and I scrambled backwards, my hand closing around a can of soup. Without thinking, I hurled it at their head.
The can connected with a sickening thud, and the intruder staggered, giving me a moment to escape. I bolted from the pantry, tearing through the house and out the front door. I didn’t stop running until I reached the neighbor’s house, where I banged on the door, sobbing and gasping for breath.
The police arrived minutes later, lights flashing and sirens wailing. They found the intruder unconscious in the kitchen, the mask still on their face. I later learned they’d been a wanted criminal, breaking into homes in the area.
That night changed me. The house never felt the same—its comforting creaks and groans now sounded like threats. And I never forgot the terror of seeing those eyes in the dark, the feeling of being hunted in my own home.
Not a true story just the name of this writing

hi. I (19M) have a best friend i’m gonna call H (19m). We met online a year and a half ago, and he lives out in ohio.
H lives in HUD housing with a very abusive mother. he pays almost all bills and works his soul away and only dreams of going to college. his family? sucks. they’ve disowned H because his uncle graped him as a child and no one believed him when he told people about it. they only care about H’s mom. things are getting dicey. He’s earning money for bills (he doesn’t pay all of them, he doesn’t earn enough working the job he does. he needs his mother to even pay for a place.) but they’re starting to come short despite the rent not changing. he doesn’t even have his own bed, his mother sold it.
long story short, he’s about to be homeless. H’s mom is very much welcome to stay with family, but they have completely casted H out. I live in Illinois. we have a guest room at my house, and a pull out couch downstairs. my parents know H exists, i talk about him a lot but they have never met him. he has nowhere to go. he’s a very hard worker, knows when to pull himself up by the bootstraps and is very responsible. his store isn’t giving him more hours either, he’s completely fucked. he won’t even have a car to live out of.
i want to ask my parents if they’d be okay letting him stay with us. They need to know everything, though. we need to have it all figured out. H can get a job here, he’s completely willing to help out with bills as well. i’m scared my parents are gonna say no and i’ll never see him again. he’s my best friend, he cant do this alone. and if he can, he needs somewhere to stay while he prepares. what would go into moving states and getting a job in the state you don’t live in? how do i talk to my parents about this?

It was an early morning in the Border Collie Household. The sun was just beginning to peek through the curtains, casting a warm glow into the living room where Mackenzie, Minnie, and Little Mack were sitting, looking rather bored.
Mackenzie, the eldest of the three siblings, let out a sigh as he tossed his stuffed Bilby, Billy, up in the air and caught it repeatedly. "I'm so bored," he grumbled, glancing over at his younger siblings.
Minnie, her bright eyes filled with mischief, grinned mischievously. "I know! Let's go bug Mom and Dad until they play with us!"
Little Mack's face lit up at the suggestion. "Yeah! That sounds like fun!"
“Alright, alright. Let's go see what they're up to." Mackenzie said as he placed Billy next to Bandido and lead his siblings out of his room and to the kitchen.
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Hunter and Queen were in the kitchen, having just finished the coffee they made a couple of minutes before.
“Honey?” Queen called.
“Yeah babe?” Hunter asked.
“What’s your stopwatch say?” Queen asked. Hunter looked at the stopwatch on the table next to them.
“12:22.” Hunter said. The two of them looked at each other for five seconds and then smirked.
“Three...two...one.” They both counted down. As they reached "one," Mackenzie, Minnie, and Little Mack burst into the kitchen, their faces filled with excitement.
"We're bored!" Minnie declared dramatically, throwing herself onto one of the kitchen chairs. “Can you play with us?”
“I don’t see why not.” Hunter answered as he turned to face the three. “What game do you wanna play?”
That was the thing. They didn’t exactly know what they wanted to play. Queen glanced at Hunter with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.
"I have an idea," she said, her lips curling into a playful grin. "How about we play... Smoochy Tag?"
“Smoochy Tag? Now THAT is a game I haven’t played in a long time.” Hunter said with a laugh.
“What’s smoochy tag?” Little Mack asked.
“It’s like normal tag, but you have to smooch someone to tag them. When you tag them, they help you tag the others. It’s really fun!” Mackenzie said as his tail wagged a bit.
“I’ll be it first. Mackenzie, can you pick a number between one and ten?” Queen asked. Mackenzie paused for a moment.
“Seven!” Mackenzie said happily.
“Seven.” Queen repeated, then she smirked. “Six…Five…Four-”
Realizing she was counting down, Hunter and the kids took off running. Hunter opened the front door and ran out of the house with the laughing children. Queen reached one and then grabbed her coffee mug.
“I’ll just finish this first.” She stated while also putting Hunter’s mug in the sink.
After a couple of seconds of running, the four of them stopped for a moment and looked around.
“We need to hide.” Hunter said as he looked around.
“But where?” Mackenzie asked. That’s when they heard a door open, they all turned to see Bandit standing at the opening.
“Oh, morning Border Collies!” Bandit said with a wave.
“Morning Bluey’s Dad, can we hide in your house?” Mackenzie asked. Bandit raised an eyebrow almost immediately, leaving Hunter to clarify.
“We’re playing a game and Queen is it.” Hunter told him.
“Say no more, c’mon in.” Bandit said almost immediately, opening the door a little bit more for them. The four Border Collies ran inside and Bandit closed the door, looking through the peephole.
“Sorry to involve you in our game Bandit.” Hunter told him. Bandit turned to him and waved it away.
“No worries, we do that to our neighbor Pat all the time. Looks like karma finally caught up.” Bandit said, he then walked away from the door. “What game are you playing?”
“We call it smoochy tag.” Hunter said, that’s when the doorbell rang. Bandit walked over to open it and saw that no one was there.
“Huh, no one. Weird.” Bandit said before closing the door and walking back to Hunter. “What’s Smoochy tag?”
“Basically a cross between tag and playing zombies, but a kiss is how you tag the others.” Hunter answered. The doorbell rang again. Bandit opened the door and looked around this time, again, seeing no one.
“Kids playing ding dong ditch?” Hunter asked. Bandit closed the door and walked back over.
“Probably.” Bandit said as Chilli walked into the room.
“Who’s dinging the doorbell?” Chilli asked.
“Probably the kids.” Bandit said. That was before he saw Bluey and Bingo hiding Mackenzie and Little Mack somewhere in the living room, and then hearing the doorbell again. “Okay, definitely not the kids.”This time, Hunter walked over to the door to open it, and when he did, Queen grabbed his arm and pulled him outside.
“Gotcha! C’mere you!” Queen smirked as she attempted to pull him into a kiss. However, Bandit and Chilli grabbed Hunter to pull him into the house, joining the game.
“Not so fast!” Bandit said as he pulled Hunter into the house. Chilli also pulled, whilst chuckling.
“It’s not gonna be that easy.” Chilli told her. Queen continued trying to kiss Hunter, but Hunter was pulled away and Chilli got a cushion to poke Queen back out of the house. “Out, out with ya.”
With Queen back out of the house, Chilli closed the door. Chilli wiped her brow with a ‘phew’ and looked at Bandit.
“What was that all about?” Chilli asked.
“It’s a game called Smoochy Tag.” Bandit told her.
“Sounds fun, I’ll ask the kids if they wanna play.” Chilli said as she walked to the living room. Bandit looked at Hunter with wide eyes.
“Run upstairs, quick.” Bandit told him. Hunter nodded and ran upstairs with Bandit. Chilli walked to the living room where she saw Bingo hiding Little Mack behind the plant.
"Hey, Bingo," Chilli said with a warm smile. "Are you and your new friend playing Smoochy Tag too?"
Bingo looked up from her hiding spot with a wide grin. "Yeah, Mum! We're helping hide Little Mack from his mum."
“Well guess what, your dad and I are playing too. But I need to know the rules first.” Chilli said as he kneeled down to Little Mack’s height. “Can you tell me the rules?”
Little Mack got out from under the table and began to explain the rules of the game.
“It’s like normal tag, but you have to smooch someone to tag them. When you tag them, they help you tag the others. Mackenzie says it’s really fun.” Little Mack answers. Chilli tapped her chin.
“Smooch someone, like this?” Chilli asked, placing a kiss on Little Mack’s forehead. Little Mack giggled.
“Yes, exactly like that.” Little Mack said.
“Good. Looks like we’re helping your mom now.” Chilli said, revealing she made herself it when she played the game. Which also meant she that Little Mack was also it. Much to the four year old’s playful disappointment.
“Aw bugger.” Little Mack said. Then both of them turned to Bingo. She quickly turned around to run.
“Quick, let’s get her!” Chilli exclaimed as she and Little Mack ran after her. The moment they were out of the living room, Bluey and Mackenzie ran out from behind the couch and ran to the backyard where they got cut off by Queen.
“Going somewhere?” She teased before running after them. Bluey and Mackenzie playfully screamed before running back inside. Queen ran after them and was gaining on them pretty quickly. She would’ve caught up if it wasn’t for Minnie running in front of her, running away from Bingo who was also running away from Chilli and Little Mack. Switching targets, Queen grabbed Minnie and kissed her forehead.“No!” Minnie exclaimed while laughing. Bingo was gonna run past, but Queen grabbed her too and kissed her on the forehead as well. Now the only ones left were Mackenzie, Bluey, Hunter and Bandit. Bluey and Mackenzie were seen running up stairs. Upstairs, the hallway presented several doors, providing ample hiding spots. Bluey gestured excitedly to the linen closet. "Quick, hide in here!" she whispered urgently to Mackenzie.
Mackenzie nodded, running into the closet with Bluey. Bluey closed the door, while Hunter and Bandit veered into the Heeler bedroom just as they heard footsteps approaching. Inside the linen closet, Bluey and Mackenzie huddled together, barely able to contain their giggles. Bluey put a finger to her lips, motioning for Mackenzie to stay quiet as they listened to the footsteps draw closer. They held their breath as the footsteps walked towards them, stopped, and then walked away from them. Allowing them to let out a sigh of relief.
In the bedroom, Hunter and Bandit were both were under the bed, and practically arguing with each other silently.
“Find your own hiding spot!” Bandit whisper yelled to him.
“I don’t know this house! This is the best I can do!” Hunter replied. The two of them where still arguing when Queen and Chilli walked into the room, and from the footsteps abruptly stopping, they more than likely got found out.
“You think they heard us?” Bandit asked. Suddenly, Hunter’s ankles were grabbed and he was yanked out from under the bed. Bandit’s wrists were grabbed and he was pulled out as well. When they were out, they realized that the other’s wife had pulled them out. Bandit was pulled out by Queen and Hunter was pulled out by Chilli. The two ladies looked at each other, smirked, nodded and switched locations, kissing their husbands to tag them.
“And then there were two.” Hunter said as he stood up looking out in the hall.
“I heard whispering in the closet before walking in here.” Chilli said as she pointed to the linen closet. Queen and Hunter started to walk towards that door and counted backwards from three before opening the door and seeing….nothing.
“Huh?” Queen questioned. Inside Bluey’s room, Mackenzie and Bluey were sneaking back down the stairs and was making their way to the playroom. On the way there, Mackenzie accidentally bumped into one of the dressers and knocked over the lamp. Mackenzie was fast enough to catch the lamp before it could hit the ground.
“That was close.” Mackenzie said in relief.
“He’s downstairs!” Little Mack exclaimed, having heard him. Mackenzie put the lamp back and he and Bluey ran out to the backyard. Little Mack was the first to go outside to try and catch at least one of them. Minnie ran outside too and both were going straight for Mackenzie, who was not too keen with getting caught so he kept dodging and juking them like he was playing a game of rugby. Bluey on the other hand was running from Bingo and ran right into Bandit who picked her up and kissed her on the nose.
“Gotcha Bluey!” Bandit told her. He then looked at Mackenzie who juked Little Mack and made him run into Minnie. Mackenzie was gonna run back inside, but Hunter was guarding the door. “Let’s get em Bluey.”
Mackenzie turned around and Queen was blocking his path back.
“Where’re you gonna go now mate?” Hunter asked him. Mackenzie looked right and saw Bandit and Bluey walking towards him.
“Going left!” Mackenzie said as he ran left. He was gonna run down the left side of the house to go to the front yard, but the moment he ran around the corner, Chilli was right there. Mackenzie turned around to run again, but he was grabbed by Hunter, who jumped over the railing the moment he went around the corner. Mackenzie laughed as he was caught, squirming playfully in Hunter's grasp.
"Nice try, buddy." Hunter chuckled before planting a kiss on his son’s forehead, ending the game. “Man, you’re getting faster kid.”
"You're not too bad yourself, Dad." Mackenzie replied, his tail wagging happily. "That was so much fun!"
"You did great, champ," Hunter said, ruffling Mackenzie's hair. "But all that running around has made me hungry, lets go get brunch.”
Mackenzie's stomach growled in agreement, and he nodded eagerly. "Yeah, brunch sounds awesome!"
Chilli and Bandit looked at each other and then nodded before turning back over to the Border Collies.
“Would you like to stay for Brunch?” Chilli asked them.
"That sounds lovely," Queen replied with a smile, glancing at Hunter for confirmation.
Hunter nodded, returning the smile. "Yeah, we'd love to stay. Thanks for the invitation."
Chilli beamed. "Great! Let's head to the kitchen then. I'll whip up something delicious for all of us."
“Allow me to help.” Queen said as she and Chilli walked upstairs to the kitchen. Hunter and Bandit played with the kids to keep them occupied. s they all made their way to the kitchen, the Border Collies chatted happily, their laughter filling the air. Hunter and Bandit found themselves engaged in a playful game of catch with Mackenzie, Bluey, Minnie, and Little Mack, while Queen and Chilli worked together to prepare brunch.
In the kitchen, Queen and Chilli shared stories and laughter as they cooked, enjoying each other's company. Queen expertly cracked eggs into a bowl while Chilli chopped vegetables for an omelet. The aroma of sizzling bacon filled the air, making everyone's stomachs growl in anticipation.
Meanwhile, downstairs, Hunter and Bandit continued their game with the kids, tossing a ball back and forth and dodging around the furniture. Mackenzie's tail wagged furiously as he chased after the ball, his laughter echoing through the house.
As brunch neared completion, Queen and Chilli set the table with plates, utensils, and glasses of freshly squeezed orange juice. The tantalizing smell of food wafted through the house, drawing everyone to the kitchen.
With everything ready, they all gathered around the table, exchanging smiles and stories as they enjoyed the delicious brunch together. Plates were filled with fluffy omelets, crispy bacon, and buttery toast, and the conversation flowed effortlessly as they savored the meal.
Later on, Queen and Chilli were playing with the kids as Hunter and Bandit were on the balcony watching them as they played, drinking some soda as they watched.
“Made quite the first impression you know.” Bandit said to Hunter, who chuckled.
“Sweet as, Bandit. You know I was a bit skeptical about the move but now...” Hunter responded, watching as Bluey playfully managed to tackle Mackenzie to the ground. “..I think I made the right choice.”
“While I don’t doubt that mate, I’m sure we’ll see.” Bandit told him.
“Yeah…we’ll see.” Hunter replied. Soon, it was time for the Border Collies to head home and the Heelers waved goodbye to them as they walked off.
“You know, I think I like our new neighbors.” Chilli said to her family.
“Will they be back to play again?” Bingo asked her dad. Bandit smiled and watched the Border Collies walk off.
“We’ll see.”

Dear Blockies,
I wanted to create this thread as a safe space on BlockedByJax for discussion of The Valley, takes on it, reviews on it, non-snark/non-overlydramatic and honest critiques, assessment of production quality, entertainment value, etc. I know pm all of us vowed to not even hatewatch it, and agreed that the promos looked so cringe. So even tho I’d probably feel shady enough and downvote you in another thread for saying you like The Valley, I’ll upvote you here and look forward to hearing you say why you enjoy it. Almost as equally as I look forward to hearing why you hate it. 😂 Should i just stick to the clips and the main Bravo sub clips/snark or is the show a waste of time or not?
I’m still at that boycotting point we were at. I don’t believe in giving Jax, Brittany (and honestly MUCH moreso KKKristen Doute) a platform. Those three people deserve total anonymity. But I am open to the nuanced, trusted opinions of this sub (not being sarcastic). And since The Valley aired, I honestly have seen y’all gain empathy (like in a criminal psychology serial killer way that I approve of) for Jax and Brit, and more concern for their health of all things, surprisingly. And it’s making me wonder if:
a) the show is trying to produce a redemption arc for either or both of them (which I rebuke)
b) the producers lurk BlockedByJax and are ragebaiting us to our own delight and we are seeing them (specifically it seems Brittany) in a way the VPR producers refused to show.
c) we are seeing exponentially more candid, and therefore more harrowing Jax & Brittany moments, and all we’ve had to go on before to dissect their psyches and relationship were their curated social media content and podcasts.
d) the show has something else to offer other than watching this family slow kill themselves. hopefully entertainment value but I really still don’t see the draw (i.e. KKKristen, don’t know the rest of the cast. But I’m open to new ppl.)
So which is it? I ask because the past couple weeks in other Bravo subs, The Valley seems to be generating a LOT of discussion, the clips look captivatingly tragic, and it is topping Bravo news on the web. Seen many people saying they haven’t seen VPR or RHOBH but are loving it. Some even saying they’re enjoying it more than VPR. I’m so confused.
But also consider that your average Bravo watcher without internet doesn’t even know that/why StaSSi & KKKristen were fired, that they’re all on cocaine and molly, or that Brittany stalked Jax to become famous. And the same viewers then comment on her insta she’s too sweet for Jax and hashtagrelationshipgoals. So idk who to trust but you.
(And I slightly digress here, but I finished the last season of Tabatha Takes Over after they released it all on Peacock, so I am going through RTV withdrawals. But that show was so quaintly overscripted with unsuspecting nobodies that I didn’t need to do all the conspiracy theory, pre-req, deep-cut research that VPR & RHOBH require to truly enjoy. So cumbersome. I just love unscripted Mess (ex. RHOM, The Traitors) or obviously scripted human zoo side show exhibits (ex. Millionaire Matchmaker, The Bachelor). Yes I’ve got issues.)
Clearly a lot of cognitive dissonance in my head about this you can tell I’m conflicted about the valley and truly need BlockedByJax professional advice. Thank you Jax haters.
Signed, yours truly,
Pregnant Couch-Ridden RTV Junkie ISO a New RTV Crack Plug

I have a bunch of tech already available and some ideas what I want to do in the future, but no experience to put it all together. If this sub is not the correct one please guide me in the right direction.
Things I have:

• Desktop PC in the office, mostly used for games and general media consumption (via streaming).
• Mesh Network across the whole apartment for stable wireless connection.
• Raspberry Pi 4B connected via LAN to the router, no wireless module. The PI has a base setup (Raspbian) but does not do anything currently.
• Pixel 8 smartphone + old LG smartphone (Android 10 I think) not in use anymore.
• Various bluetooth speakers without smart functionality.
• Old-ish TV in the living room that allows limited casting of YouTube, Netflix & Prime video.
• Laptop connected to the TV via HDMI. It's setup to autostart in Steam Big Picture mode for game streaming. I control BPM via Xbox controller. I also have a wireless keyboard & mouse combo connected to the laptop.
• WiZ smart bulbs allowing changing of light temperature & brightness.
• Dreame vacuum robot.
• Google Home setup which currently includes the light bulbs & the vacuum.

What I'm thinking about, but have not really looked into further:

• Home Assistant. I'm aware it exists, but currently I have no need to switch from the google ecosystem yet. Open to it though
• Some use for the Pi. PiHole, RetroPi, server of some kind? Can it run PiHole + other things in combination?
• Some use for the old phone. Can it be used as a display / control panel for some other stuff?
• A way to make the couch experience with TV & laptop more fluent. If I want to stream something that the TV does not support (let's say Twitch) I have to switch the input to HDMI, leave big picture mode, use keyboard & mouse to open the browser and watch it that way. Ideal setup would be controlled all via phone (casting) or controller.
• A way to connect multiple audio devices (TV, bluetooth speakers, maybe PC speakers) to all play the same music and control them on one central place.
• Google Pixel tablet for media consumption. I saw that the base station includes a speaker & the tablet allows casting, might be interesting.
• More smart lights. I saw IKEA has some things but it looks like they have their own locked down ecosystem.

What I don't want / need:

• Voice commands, rather use an app.
• Large-scale media storage.

If you guys have any ideas how my plans could fit together or anything else that might be interesting to me feel free to share them. If there's any other wild projects I could do I would also be interested, I'm new to the whole world but curious.
Edit: Also I'm renting so I can't really pull any wires through the wall or install new switches etc.

I still consider LOST my favorite TV show, especially the first five seasons, which I believe include some of the best television ever made. However, Season 6 didn't work for me. I wonder if others feel the same or have different perspectives that might help me appreciate the final season more.
1. The Sickness This storyline felt underdeveloped. Hinted at by Rousseau and Desmond, it never made much sense. I would've preferred if those following MIB genuinely agreed with him, similar to the split between Locke and Jack in Season 4. Sayid and Claire reverting to being "good" anyway, makes the sickness aspect seem unnecessary.
2. Sayid & Claire Both characters felt wasted. Sayid's resurrection seemed pointless, as he just followed MIB before changing his mind. Claire's descent into "craziness" was a cop-out. They could have developed her character more in a well deserved Claire centric episode, showing her genuine trust in MIB and blaming Jacob for Aarons fate, and her own. Not to mention a closer look at The Others and The Temple, where she could have been living for 3 years. Sayid, mourning Nadia, could have been more believably manipulated by MIB, blaming Jacob. No sickness storyline needed, and the conflict between this group and Jack's would have made for some great drama. Obviously both Sayid, and Claire, would move to Jack's side when realising MIB's true goal, but this happened even with the sickness.
3. Cindy Cindy's return was underutilised. Like Claire, she could be perhaps willingly following MIB due to blaming Jacob for the tail section camp's fate, and the kids. Plenty might have good reason to follow MIB and the grey area between him and Jacob could have been explored this way.
4. Sun & Jin Separating Sun from the core group for so long didn't work, especially since their reunion felt cheapened by their immediate deaths. Sun could have had a more significant role with Widmore, discovering Jin's survival and returning to the island with him, creating a compelling dynamic with the old castaways. This would have been a strong role for Sun, who would now be torn between her new found faith in Widmore, and her reunion with the old castaways. I also think she could have just replaced Zoe's character completely. How much more interesting would it have been if Sawyer had run into Sun on the other island, instead of Zoe.
5. Ilana & Frank Ilana's character felt unnecessary. Her role could have been repurposed for Frank Lapidus, with a backstory involving Jacob asking him to protect the candidates. This would tie back to the original flight and give Frank a more meaningful presence. Perhaps Jacob actually stopped Frank from piloting the original 815 flight, to ensure his safety.
6. The Flash Sideways The flash sideways concept was intriguing but became the biggest mystery of Season 6, which detracted from the main story. Condensing it into a two-hour special, perhaps involving Desmond, would have been more effective and less distracting. Similar in theme to Flashes Before Your Eyes, or The Constant.
7. The Ending The on-island conclusion was fine, but the flash sideways reveal as a post-death existence felt underwhelming to me, or at least somewhat disjointed The church scene, while artistic, lacked consistency with who was present, which detracted from the story's logic. Nostalgia seemed to overshadow the finer details, compromising the show's usual attention to detail.
For instance, should Penny and Boone really have been there? Miles spent longer with the majority of these people than Libby, Shannon, Boone, Penny, Charlie etc, and yet he wasn't there. Michael and Walt weren't there for reasons that seem contradictory. Ben was invited in, which seems odd. Daniel and Charlotte weren't there, but Shannon and Boone were? I understand the creative decision to keep it mainly the original cast. It seems nostalgic, fitting perhaps. But it fails under scrutiny to really understand the logic behind it. Did Boone or Locke not have a partner? Was Jack's Mum too busy to attend? Just nitpicking.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on the points I've made!!