[Part 1]
Day 3
I woke the next morning from the sunshine in my eyes. My head was resting ever so slightly on Eli's arm as we had both fallen asleep on my bed after I begged him to stay. I blanched in horror at the drool stain I had left on the arm of his white t-shirt.
I began to slowly move myself and retreat downstairs as the memories of the night before came flooding back. How I had broken, screaming in terror, and how Eli had saved me, not knowing the true reason he found me curled up on the floor crying.
As I stepped off the bed, my leg got snagged in the frilly bed cover, and I went crashing to the ground, making quite the noise as I landed. With a yawn, Eli's eyes opened, and I felt myself blushing as he turned to look at me.
We both kind of stared at each other for a moment, not speaking. Eli opened his mouth, then closed it again as if unsure of what to say.
"Coffee?" I asked quickly, filling the awkwardness of our situation.
"Please," Eli said, smiling.
In minutes, I had a pot brewing as I leaned against the kitchen counter. Eli was picking up the scattered photographs from the floor and looking at them quizzically.
"Why do you have pictures of the Harmons?" Eli asked, showing me the photos of the yellow-haired man and his family.
"Is that their names? I found them out in the barn under a blanket," I answered as I rooted around the cupboards for two mugs.
"In the barn? I cleaned it out just last week. No way I would have missed this trunk," Eli said while examining the wooden trunk with its simple rustic hinges. It was plain and unadorned with any embellishments. Basic as basic could be.
"Well, you must have missed it because it was there," I said, putting emphasis on the "was" in a way that reminded me of my mother chastising my father.
"That's so weird," he said, shifting through the photos while sitting at the table. I brought him a cup of coffee and sugar, and he began absentmindedly adding a lot of sugar to his coffee. About six scoops later, he began stirring and sipping it.
"Well, anyways, thanks for coming last night. I wasn't myself, I hope you know that I'm not some damsel in distress," I said quickly, like word vomit, and I even chuckled at the end, feeling like a total weirdo.
"What happened anyway? You didn't say last night," he said, putting the photos down in a jumble on the table.
I paused for a moment, considering how to answer. As I sipped my coffee, I stared out into the yard beside the barn where the scarecrow stood, glancing around the edge of the barn, hanging limply in his hole. His appearance once again sad and dejected instead of murderous and terrifying.
"I was just scared, I had a nightmare, and it just scared me," I said dumbly, trying not to turn crimson again under his intense gaze.
His eyes seemed to cut right through my lie, as if he were staring directly into my being before he simply glanced away out the window. We fell silent again, and I filled some moments by sipping my drink. It seemed to revitalize me; the sun and the company made me feel secure.
"Why were you here anyways?" I asked after a moment.
"I heard screaming, so I came running. I live just on the other side of the grass there, behind the barn," Eli said, pointing to the barn out the window.
"Must be really close, I didn't see any houses on the way in," I said, prying deeper into the situation.
"It's actually a trailer, maybe like two hundred yards from here. I was outside getting some air when I heard you scream. So, I came running," Eli said, finishing his cup of coffee and placing it in between us like a barrier, as if he was hiding something.
"Could you, uh, not do that?" Eli asked, with an uncertain grin on his face.
"What am I doing exactly?" I asked, startled for a moment, my stomach doing a sort of flip.
"It's just that you like stare at people. You've been staring at me for like my whole cup of coffee, I don't think you blinked the whole time," Eli said, averting his eyes shyly.
"No, I don't," I said until I realized he was right. I never noticed that about myself.
"Right, well, I've got to go. I am probably going to start painting today, so you might see me in a bit," Eli said, rising and heading to the door.
"Wait," I said, grabbing his arm for only a moment before releasing it like it was scalding hot.
Eli glanced at my hand for a moment, then at his arm, before he, too, blushed crimson.
"I just wanted to say thank you again. For last night, I mean. Well, what I mean is I appreciate it," I said, my eyes downcast in, for some reason, shame. Like he had seen me at my weakest and it weighed on my gaze appropriately.
"It was nothing, besides I didn't get much sleep with your constant snoring," Eli said, laughing at me.
"I so don't snore," I said, swatting at him but unable to control a smile creeping up onto my face.
After Eli left, I felt instantly colder, my eyes kept returning to the scarecrow. I grabbed my camera from upstairs and went out to the yard. I scanned the dirt for anything out of the ordinary. There was no blood, or anything on the dirt where the scarecrow stood just last night. I slowly made my way to the scarecrow, but nothing happened. I snapped a photo of the inanimate object, and it didn't even flinch. I poked it, but all I felt was straw underneath its clothes. I removed its mask, expecting a severed head, but it was just straw. Nothing was here but straw. I dropped the mask on the ground and took another photo proving it was just straw and nothing else.
An idea struck me as I regarded the source of my torment. If I planned to stay even one more night here, I needed to do something about this scarecrow. I rooted around in the barn, a series of tools hung from nails in the wall. On one hung what I was searching for. An old rusted shovel with a dirty wooden handle that was worn smooth from use.
I returned to the side of the barn beside the scarecrow, knowing for whatever reason this thing only came when night fell and didn't react at all when I moved or touched it during the day.
Before my morning coffee had even settled, I began to dig at the dusty earth, loose and easy to dig, it came away in shovelfuls. Within an hour, I had a fair-sized hole in front of me. Sweat dripped from my brow, and when I wiped under my eyes, they came away black from last night's makeup. Glancing at the field of grass and knowing Eli could appear at any time, I decided to head inside and shower. The hot water was a godsend, and I lingered for longer, letting the water drain down my head and back, my eyes closed, trying to forget the images from the last two nights. I should just pack up my car and leave right this minute. But how could I explain this to my family? I decided to go through with my plan and bury the scarecrow. I could last one more night if I prepared for it.
I left the shower and dressed modestly, in another one of my old rock t-shirts and a pair of shorts. I returned to the yard and with a satisfying push, I dropped the scarecrow into the pit. It fell with a nice thud, and I smiled at my power over it in the day; it's just at night when I should fear it.
As I threw the first shovel of dirt back on top, I heard a noise in the grass, and it parted, revealing Eli wearing the same pair of jeans and work boots, but he had changed his shirt to a plain black one. In each hand, he held cans of paint and a brush.
"Should I even ask why you are burying that old scarecrow?" He asked as he came to stand beside me.
"Probably best if you didn't," I admitted, leaning on the shovel.
"Well, I'm going to anyway. Polly, why are you burying that old scarecrow?" He asked, a rare smile coming to his face.
"Because it's been haunting me at night," I said bluntly.
"Mhm, yeah, okay. Fine, don't tell me. I've been meaning to get rid of it anyway, but normal people take things to the landfill," Eli said with a smirk as he turned to the house and began setting up for his painting.
I finished burying the scarecrow and stomped the dirt down flat. I finished my job by moving my car and parking it directly over top of the spot where I buried it.
Eli watched me curiously but didn't remark. I returned the shovel to the barn and went out into the yard. I decided to go for a hike around the property. I needed some time alone to think and unwind.
As I made my way through the grass, it began to confuse me. This had obviously been a large farmland, but how had the wild plants grown in such a thick, endless maze of greenery?
It gave me an eerie feeling, like I was being watched as the grass covered three-quarters of my body, like there would be something lurking out in the grass, crouched low, waiting for me.
After a half-hour or so, I came upon a clear lake, only big enough to be considered an old swimming hole, I thought as I dipped my hand into the cool water.
I took off my outer clothes and decided to go for a swim. I lowered myself in slowly and reveled at the cool water. The pond wasn't deep, but the water was clean. A small rope swing had been hung from a large oak tree that bordered the pond. It also provided a nice layer of shade that made it the ideal spot to spend the day. I floated on my back in the water for what seemed like hours. The day seemed to slip away from me. A small beach of sand sat at one side of the pond, so I lay out in the sun and closed my eyes. The warm day warmed my soul, and soon I felt myself drifting off into sleep.
I awoke to the sound of crickets and darkness. I couldn't believe it. I had slept through the day; the long nights had finally caught up to me, and now I was stuck far away from the farmhouse. I didn't know if my plan with the scarecrow had worked, and this wasn't the place to test my theory.
A full moon lay overhead, casting a silvery glow on the world before me. A sea of grass swayed gently in the wind, sending shivers down it in shuddering waves. I looked around, but I was thankfully alone, just the crickets chirping along melodically as my only companions.
I had to make it back to the house, so I started on my way, my hands trailing along the tall grass. The pale light played easily on the deep green grass. Step by step, I made my way back towards the farmhouse and the barn, throwing caution to the wind, and I started to jog along, anything to get back faster. I would have to find Eli; maybe if we were together, he could stop it like before.
If I thought the field was creepy during the day, by night, it was a whole new world. Every sound made my heart stop for a beat before restarting in protest. When all of a sudden, the crickets stopped chirping. I dropped to my knees, letting the long grass cover me from sight. Through the strands, I could make out a shape moving slowly through the tall grass, the swish of the plants as it made its passage through them. My heart dropped. Was this Eli looking for me, or was it the scarecrow come for me?
That's when I heard a voice, a voice cutting through the silence. It started off quiet and raspy as it sang an eerie children's song.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek
The world it claims that I be not clean
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
I was frozen to the spot. It hadn't found me, but it knew I was in the grass somewhere. Now, with each word, chewed up and spat out like it was unhappy with it, now it was accompanied by the whistle of something in the air and a slicing sound as it cut through the grass around me.
It finished another round of its song, but now it stood within feet of me, its blade whistling as it cut. I took a moment to ready myself, and as it raised its blade to cut through the grass I hid in, I dashed out of my hiding spot and slammed into it. But nothing resisted me; I fell through it like it was a ghost.
In a tangle of limbs, I landed hard on the ground and tried quickly rolling to my feet. The blade of its weapon pierced the earth beside me. Now I could see it was a two-handed scythe the scarecrow carried, but something was off, its hands were human. Pale milky skin like a newborn baby. I had little time to examine the creature except for the canvas bag over its head. Two large black eyes came out of the slits that leaked a dark red blood like tears.
It screeched loudly and swung its scythe, but it was slow, and I took off through the grass in the direction of what I hoped was the farmhouse.
I completely gave up all pretense of hiding and sprinted as fast as I could without looking back. The grass seemed to part for me as I ran in terror. I was just glad that in high school, I had taken track as it was paying off now.
I could hear the noise of footsteps behind me, but I never turned. I ran and ran until my lungs felt like they were going to burst Something silver flashed to my left, and I tripped over something hard and unexpected. The wind was driven from my lungs as my chin slammed hard into the earth. I scrambled back, trying to escape, but the scarecrow was on me, its blade flashing angrily in the pale moonlight.
I wanted to move, I wanted to fight, but my body was weak and unable to catch its breath, and I lay there helpless as it swung its scythe towards me. I closed my eyes in fear, but I only heard the thud of dirt before I opened my eyes. The scythe was discarded, and the scarecrow stood staring at me.
It seemed to be struggling with something, one hand reached out towards me only to be snapped back to its side. A roar of rage pierced the canvas sack over its head as it struggled against its invisible bonds. For a moment, I thought I saw something behind it, three sets of hands holding it back. One feminine in nature, and the other two must have belonged to children. In a flash, I saw a beautiful woman who looked vaguely familiar with her long brown hair and plain dress.
"Run," she moaned as the scarecrow swung around wildly.
I didn't hesitate and fled, my breath had returned, and while my body still ached from my fall, I powered on, knowing this was the only respite I would receive tonight.
In the distance, I could see a small sheet metal shape; Eli's trailer was slowly coming closer as I ran, and I beelined it for the trailer. I could hear the footsteps behind me again as the scarecrow resumed its chase after me.
I reached the old trailer and banged on the door as loud as I could; I rattled the handle, but it was locked.
"Eli, it's me. It's Polly, please let me in. Please," I begged as I banged over and over again on the door of his trailer.
Nothing responded to me, and the trailer was dark. The single window in the back held no life inside the trailer. From the trailer, I couldn't tell which direction the farmhouse was in the dark, so I fled into the tall grass and crouched low, watching the clearing around the trailer.
While I caught my breath, I watched the scarecrow enter the clearing, its scythe back in its hand as it circled the trailer. When its raspy voice began singing again low and quiet, only loud enough for me to hear.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek
The world it claims that I be not clean
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night, I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
The song made me shiver uncontrollably at the lyrics and the voice; it sounded demented like a crazy person letting their demons out into a nursery rhyme.
I lay perfectly still; for some reason, it couldn't find me. This creature I assumed was all-knowing seemed to have some very human weaknesses. It moved and talked like a human, even had certain body parts that were from a human; it even felt human the way it chased and reacted.
The scarecrow moved on through the tall grass, and I let out a sigh of relief as it lost my trail. How terrifying that beast was. In my pocket was the keys to my car. Eli had told me that the farmhouse was fairly close to his trailer. I had to navigate to the car, then drive as fast as I can away from this place. The fact that I hadn't left already because I was worried about money was insane. Who cares, I could drive to Barb's and demand my money back. Go home and just tell my parents the truth. The whole reason for actually leaving home this summer, why I was actually here in this field shivering uncontrollably in fear. But I couldn't think about that now, not now, there will be time to deal with that later. Now I needed to focus on staying alive, getting to the car, and getting out of here.
I went in the direction the scarecrow had; he knew the land better than I did, and every noise I made in the silence of the night made my heart drop. It took all my courage there and then to take one step forward, then another. I felt like I was going to be sick; my stomach was in knots to where it felt like even if I was sick, the only thing to come out would be only bile and stomach acid.
With each careful step, I made my way closer to the farmhouse and the scarecrow. Through the darkness, I could see my goal, the farmhouse, and the barn. Within minutes, I had made it securely to the farmhouse yard.
My car still sat in the same spot overtop of the hole where I buried the scarecrow. In the moonlight, I could see that the dirt had not been disturbed.
The scarecrow was nowhere to be seen, and I cautiously made my way to my car, my keys in my hand as I approached the driver's door. I hadn't locked the car, and it opened on the first try. I turned on my car as quietly as I could, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.
Something landed heavily on top of the roof of my car, making it dent inwards slightly. With horror, I saw the scarecrow swing its scythe into the back window of my car. With a crash, the glass shattered inwards; I put my car into gear and roared away down the lane. In my rearview mirror, I couldn't see anything, so I swerved back and forth, trying to shake the creature from the roof of my car when the scythe crashed in through the front window, making a hole just large enough for it.
The glass spidered, and I couldn't see out the window very well. I swerved down the road, but the scythe remained in the car, allowing the creature purchase. In a panic, I spun my wheel wildly, trying to dislodge it, but I lost control, and soon felt something crash into the front of my car. The airbag went off in my face, and I hadn't been wearing my seatbelt. I slammed hard into something else, and my vision went dark. I was in a daze; I must have passed out because I don't remember a lot of what happened next. I felt the car door open with a crunching tear, and it landed loudly as it was torn off. My body being grabbed and tossed on the ground. I felt no pain, just a gentle numbness. I felt blood on my head as I raised my arm to touch my face.
Then just blackness, complete, and empty just feelings, fear, unease, sadness. My eyes opened, and the scarecrow was overtop of me. Pain on my chest and my vision went dark again. Coughing as something poured down my throat. I couldn't breathe, why couldn't I breathe?
My eyes opened one last time, and I saw the scarecrow pouring a dark liquid from its mouth directly into my mouth and eyes. My vision was red and bloody before I closed them one last time.
The words of its song echoed into the emptiness of my thoughts.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek?
The world it claims that I be not clean.
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see,
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night, I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
The darkness enveloped me, and I felt myself slipping away, the sounds of the night fading into oblivion.
Day 4
When I awoke, it was morning, and I found myself lying in a hospital bed. My head throbbed with pain, and my body ached all over. The memories of the terrifying night flooded back to me, and I shuddered involuntarily.
A nurse entered the room, her kind eyes filled with concern. "You're awake," she said softly, her voice gentle like a soothing balm. "You're lucky to be alive. You were found unconscious by the side of the road next to your car. Do you remember what happened?"
I tried to speak, but my throat felt raw and dry. I croaked out a few words, barely audible. "The scarecrow... it attacked me..."
The nurse frowned, her brows furrowing in confusion. "Scarecrow? What scarecrow?"
My heart raced with panic as I realized the truth. Had it all been a nightmare? But the pain in my body felt too real, the memories too vivid to be mere hallucinations.
I tried to explain, to tell her about the terrifying creature that had pursued me through the night, but she only looked at me with concern, as if I were delusional.
"I'll get the doctor, and there is a young man who brought you in. He has been here all morning," the nurse said with a sly wink.
After a few minutes, she came back with Eli and a doctor, both of whom smiled gently at me through the window. The doctor came in first and went over my health with me. I had a concussion and bruises all over my body. A generous-sized cut from some glass on my scalp had been stitched and bandaged. My mind flashed back to the night before. How the scarecrow had filled me with its gooey red blood.
"Did you find anything else?" I asked cautiously, trying to avoid another scandal like with the nurse.
"No, as long as you have someone to pick you up and take you home, you are free to go. That nice young man out there said he would take you back home," the doctor said, pointing to Eli as he rose with a slight grunt.
I glanced at Eli, and he waved uncertainly at me. The doctor went out and began talking to Eli for a few minutes.
While I waited, my mind began to have strange thoughts. Something was wrong; I felt weird. My vision turned red, and I began to see images before my eyes.
The Harmons. They flashed before my eyes in real-time—the husband hugging his wife, then swinging his kids around, chopping wood outback next to the barn while his wife cooked in the kitchen.
As Eli entered the room, the visions stopped suddenly. Like my saving angel for the third time now, I was extremely grateful to Eli.
"Heyyyyy," Eli said, elongating the word in a sort of familiar yet awkward way.
"Hi," I said, closing my eyes and letting my embarrassment pass in only a few seconds.
"Why is it that fifty percent of the times we meet, you're in serious trouble?" Eli asked, coming to sit on the edge of my bed.
"Oh, you know me, bad luck, I guess," I said simply, becoming aware that under my blankets, I was in a backless hospital gown, and he was inches away from me.
I pulled the blanket up to my chin as a sort of cover for my appearance, but Eli didn't seem to notice. He continued talking to me. It was actually really sweet the way he seemed to care for me.
"Anyways, the doctor said I could take you back to the farmhouse to rest," Eli said.
"No," I said suddenly, becoming serious.
"What? Why not?" Eli asked.
"I just, I just can't right now. I'll tell you later. Just, we can't spend the night anywhere near the farm," I said, grabbing him by the arm, hoping to sway him.
"Well, I mean, if you want, we can grab your stuff, and my house can literally go anywhere," Eli said in an offhand manner, as if he had expected this.
"Promise?" I asked, trying not to seem too afraid.
Within the hour, we had returned to the farmhouse. The hole I dug was still covered over, and I stared at it as we parked in Eli's black pickup truck.
I ran inside and quickly got changed into my only clean clothes, grabbing everything I had from the farmhouse. I paused at the dinner table, looking down at the photographs of the Harmons and thinking back to that weird moment in the hospital with that odd vision.
The day was getting longer, and I hurried back to Eli, waiting in the pickup truck. I threw my bag in the back and climbed in beside him. He smiled and backtracked down the lane. We turned to the left and went down a side road where we came upon my poor old car. It had crashed directly into a tree, and the whole front part of the car had been destroyed. Fluid leaked all over the road, and I almost shed a tear for my departed friend. We had traveled far together. I grabbed a few things from the car, but something was off about the car. The front door had been knocked off and was discarded on the far side of the road. It looked impossible; the door hadn't even hit the tree.
Eli hooked his truck up to his trailer, and we sped off, leaving the property behind us. We headed into town and found a pullout on the side of the road with a set of bathrooms to camp at for the night. Eli's trailer was messy but cozy. He had laundry strewn over most surfaces, but it didn't smell bad.
The room consisted of a small kitchen with a bed in one corner. There were also a lot of posters and artwork on the walls. I examined one of a pretty girl with long raven-black hair. It was a realist painting, obviously taken from real life.
"Who is this?" I asked as Eli made us some food.
"That is just a friend," Eli said, glancing at the painting he had done.
"Well, she is a pretty friend," I said, enjoying watching the back of his ears turn bright red.
"Dinner's ready," he said, pouring the mixture of food he had made onto a pair of plates.
Eli served me and handed me a can of Coke to drink. I thanked him and sat on his bed. It was the only serviceable piece of furniture in the whole trailer. We both sat in silence for a moment while we ate. I could tell something was bothering Eli as he kept making glances toward me.
"What? What is it, Eli? Just say it," I said between bites.
"Tell me what happened, Polly. Tell me why you were burying the scarecrow, why you were passed out in the road with straw in your hair. Tell me why you were muttering about the Harmons and a scarecrow when I found you," Eli said suddenly, as if he were unloading a machine gun.
I looked Eli square in the face and relented. I told him about the last couple of nights at the farmhouse, about how the scarecrow had been tormenting me every night. About how he had saved me and how last night I had fled through the fields to his trailer and then to my car. I told him about the vision I had about the Harmons in the hospital. By the end of it, I was in tears. I felt so foolish and childish.
Eli took it in stride. He asked a few questions during my retelling, but by the end of it, he was silent. Tears fell down my face and landed in my lap. We had both put our plates on the counter, and Eli hugged me. He put his arms around me, and I nuzzled into his shoulder, feeling comforted again in him at the lowest points of my life.
With a gentle hand, he wiped away my tears, and I smiled, letting a nervous laugh escape my lips. I looked up into his face and felt his stare before I saw it. His pale blue eyes shone with comfort, and then his lips were on mine as he kissed me quickly before pulling away slightly.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. That was insensitive of me. You're sad, and I took advantage of that," Eli said, moving back slightly.
"Shut up," I said, and grabbed his shirt, bringing him back in.

I want to thank Meatcanyon and Wendigoon for starting Creepcast. I've played around with writing horror, and here is my first short story. I will post it for free in a few other places to see what people think. Please enjoy!
A Hike to Remember
By R.L. Oclen
Chapter 1
A woman sits with hastily pulled-up fire-red hair in the waiting room of the state patrol station. The procedurally sterile off-white walls and decade-old magazines do little for comfort. With her head hanging low, her shoulders pushing forward, and her boots rapidly tapping on the floor, something has to give.
"Please just let her be okay." The woman growls as a pair of officers come in from the field. The officers' demeanors quickly change when they see the familiar face.
"Tabitha, did Officer Nichols call you?" one of the state patrol officers asked sympathetically.
"Yes, he asked me to come in and pick up a few things," Tabitha said, shooting back a muted look.
" I'll let them know you're here." The officer said, nodding to Tabitha as they passed the security door. Tabitha leaned back against the hard plastic chair, staring blankly into the fluorescent light. She had done this dance in the macabre repeatedly over the past month. The last image of her younger sister, Lisa, still burned in her mind. Tabitha had always been protective over her younger sister after their parents died. A pang of guilt shoots through her chest as she thinks about her and Lisa's argument.
"Tabitha Hymm, Officer Nichols is ready for you."
"Okay," she stood up, shaking off her guilt, and followed the officer back. The familiar surroundings of the state patrol station blurred as Tabitha stared forward. She followed the officer as they came to a rustic wooden office door, which was embossed with "Officer Nichols."
The escorting officer turns the old brass door knob. "Sir, I have Tabitha Hymm here." A grizzled West Virginia Highway State Patrol veteran sits behind the desk and nods. The escorting officer steps aside, pushing the door open as Tabitha pushes past him and slumps in the awaiting chair like so many times before. An uncomfortable relationship had formed between the two, born out of necessity and duty.
"Cup of coffee?"
"No thanks. Let's just cut to the chase. You don't have anything new?"
The worn laugh lines and Officer Nichols's face flattens. His eyebrows contour sympathetically as he shakes his head.
"Tabitha, I don't have anything else new for you. I wanted to give you the clothes returned from the lab." Her face darkened at the same response she had heard many times.
"As we discussed two weeks ago, there is nothing new and no signs of struggle or foul play," Officer Nichols said while placing a box marked evidence on the table and sliding it forward. Tabitha began to weep at the realization of Lisa's clothes in front of her. In a coordinated queue, Officer Nichols brought out a box of tissues. Reluctantly, Tabitha took a few moments to unblur her vision.
"How does someone stop their car in the middle of the Remington West Virginia State Park, lock it, and then walk into the woods?" Officer Nichols clasped his hands together and sighed at her worn question.
"Tabitha, I wish I had an answer for why your sister stopped her car in the woods and simply walked off. We're still going through her cell phone, but no signs exist that anyone forced her. On that Tuesday morning, she pulled over to the side of the road, secured her car, and walked away." Officer Nichols said empathetically.
Tabitha became stoic at the same explanation she had heard many times before. " So what next?"
"You should go back to Ohio, and I'll contact you as soon as I have more information." She winced at Officer Nichols's words. Reality began to pull at her that bills and work wouldn't wait much longer.
"If I leave, she's gone for good."
" You staying won't bring her back." Officer Nichols said sympathetically.
" So is that it? She's just gone?"
" Tabitha, I'll be honest with you. In cases like this… when people do things like this. Recovery is harder in the spring due to the weather and the animals. You know her mental condition better than I do. I can't explain why she did what she did. But until I find a solution, a suicide note, some intention, or body. She's not here. Tabitha, I'm-"
" Don't you fucking say sorry!" Tabitha stood up, screaming at Officer Nichols, throwing the plastic chair backward against the wall. " I should just look for myself."
"No!" Officer Nichols said momentarily, gripping the desk as his face hardened, then relaxed. Tabitha was caught off guard by Officer Nichols, who was normally composed. "Tabitha, I know this is unbearable. I've sat on this side of the desk and had these conversations. Trust me; I need you to be safe if I need your help later."
Tabitha nods, knowing Officer Nichols is right. She reaches down, picks up the evidence box of her sister's belongings, and leaves.
" Tabitha, if you're heading home, don't stop your car; just keep driving." Tabitha stops to look at Officer Nichols, feeling an eeriness to his words.
" Goodbye, Officer Nichols," Tabitha said as she closed the rustic wooden door behind her. She counted the tiles as she exited the West Virginia State Patrol Station. Placing her sister's belongings carefully in the back seat of her Jeep, Tabitha then sat momentarily behind the steering wheel, staring at the emblem. The familiar numbness washed over Tabitha as she pushed the start button. She pulled onto the highway, driving to the motel that had been home for the last month or so. Muted pop music accented the drive back as her mind raced with questions. Once inside the two-and-a-half-star motel room, Tabitha sat her sister's belongings on the corner table, crumbled onto the bed, and cried.
***
Tabitha wiped the steam from the slightly spotted mirror above the bathroom sink. The hot water from the shower felt good and loosened some of the stress from her body. Looking back at her, Tabitha's face was framed by damp curls around her shoulders. Her face marked the stress of the past month. Frowning, she examined the bags under her eyes; sleep had to come tonight. Walking into the living area, She changed into her favorite gym shorts and oversized sleep shirt. The alarm on her phone flashed "7:00 am," so she could drive home five hours after breakfast.
Tabitha hated feeling comfortable in this once strange room, but falling asleep was getting easier now. Her eyes closed slowly as the ceiling fan droned evenly. At first, nothing came in her dreams, but she let her guard down and slipped further into sleep.
As she dreamed of floating overhead like a bird of prey, Tabitha soared over the vast Remington National Park. The high noon sun bore down on the crisp woods, perfectly contrasting sky and forest. The heat of the sun felt good on her feathers. Distant cries rang out through the dream-like forest, catching her attention. Tabitha tilted her wings toward the screams, feeling a sense of familiar curiosity.
She now recognized the sobs and cries for help as she flew closer, her sharp eyes locked on her sister leaning against a large oak tree. She glided overhead without care, examining the situation below. Lisa clung to the tree, her eyes darting back and forth, scanning upwards. Lisa's face reflected desperation, looking for help in any direction. Tabitha lazily circles Lisa several times before perching on a sturdy branch higher in one of the oak trees. She watched Lisa intently with hunger. She bellowed deeply, hearing the unnatural sound she made, catching Lisa's eyes. Lisa's expression changed; she became calm, almost uncaring, as she stared back at Tabitha's form. Hunger grew exponentially in Tabitha as she spread her large wings. Her large eyes gaze down at Lisa before diving straight for her sister.
Tabitha jolts awake to the alarm on her phone flashing "7:23 AM." She breathes in sharply, shaking off the last horrible thoughts from the reoccurring nightmare. The strange details become more vivid each time. The lingering memories of folk stories her mother told sat in the back of her mind. In those stories, the dead would reach out in dreams as a matter of warning. Leaning back on the headboard, she searched for the advice her psychologist gave her. During their last session, Dr. Ryland explained dreams are a form of self-actualization of guilt. He told Tabitha that it was natural to feel responsible when losing a loved one in this manner.
Tabitha grumbled, lightly running her hands through her red hair; she pushed everything to the back of her mind. "Get it together!" She grumbled to herself. She pushed herself off the bed and got ready to leave. It was going to be a long trip home, and the only thing she could do now was leave things in the authorities' hands. Packing up was pretty easy since she only cycled through the outfits she brought. The local laundromat must have made a small fortune off her. Tabitha took one last look at the box of Lisa's belongings before throwing them in her duffle bag. She was thankful she didn't have to spend another night in this room.
***
Tabitha sat behind the wheel, waiting for the 90's model minivan to finish their order so she could grab a breakfast burrito on the way out. Considering the situation, the Deer Stop Family Restaurant did have a good breakfast. Finally, pulling up to the 70-style drive-in board, Tabitha rolled off the order she had been accustomed to. " I'll take a large iced tea with the double breakfast burrito meal and hash browns, please."
" Would you like some happy hot sauce with that?"
" That's fine, and a few ketchup packets as well."
" Your total is $8.79. Please pull around."
She pulled around to her window, flashed her debit card, got the receipt, and waited for her food. Luckily, the young woman serving her wasn't very talkative in the morning. The last thing she wanted was a conversation about the weather or meaningless small talk.
" Here's your large iced tea and breakfast meal. Ketchup and happy hot sauce are inside."
" Thanks," Tabitha said while mustering her best fake smile. The woman only smiled and nodded as the service window automatically closed. She pulled into the parking lot and dug into breakfast. Turning the radio to the weather, Tabitha sat back and enjoyed her meal. The local DJ read through the headlines, making nonpartisan comments about politics and grumbling about improving the economy. Tabitha powered through the updates of the "out-of-state woman" who'd gone missing. It was nice that the local radio station gave Lisa's name, description, and a missing person's number for sightings or leads. Tabitha even interviewed with the local news and radio stations, hoping it would bring Lisa home. But she soon found all it brought was a sorrowful look from the locals as she interacted with them in her day-to-day life.
Finishing the last of her hash browns, Lisa wadded up everything in the paper bag and threw it in the back seat. The 9 AM weather report said it was nothing but clear skies and sun the rest of the week. Tabitha flipped the radio over to the greatest hit station, pulled out of the parking lot, and began her trip home. She memorized the roads, every bend and turn in the early weeks as she frantically looked for Lisa. There's something hypnotic about the trees: the way they flow together. The trees' green tops and the oak trees' wide trunks were a relaxing view. Tabitha enjoyed the lazy s-curves of the road, bending and winding around the hills and the trees. The occasional farmhouse or field dotted the sides of the road as she made her way to the main highway.
The blur of a semi-truck snapped Tabitha's attention as she pulled up to the mouth of the highway. She had four and a half hours ahead of her, which would be a long ride. Tabitha pulled onto the highway and picked up speed, noting sparse traffic. She relaxed into her seat, letting her gaze gloss over the blur of green foliage. Without warning, Tabitha caught a large shadow from the corner of her left eye. When she registered the black feathery form, Tabitha tensed up and slammed on the brakes as it swooped across the vehicle's hood. Quickly, she pulled the car safely off the road. She couldn't determine exactly what it was, but it was bigger than any bird she'd seen. It was a bird, right? Tabitha turned off her Jeep and grabbed the keys and cell phone. Standing before the Jeep, she looked over the grill to see if she made contact with the entity.
Bewildered, she scanned the tree line, spotting something in the distance. Sitting in the clearing of the large oak forest was an enormous black owl. It stared intently at Tabitha with bright, shiny yellow eyes. She pushed the lock button on her keys, causing the jeep to beep securely. She turned, looking across the open field, an enormous black owl perched in the upper branches of an old oak tree. Each step she took away from the road piqued her curiosity. Soon, Tabitha stood in the middle of the open field, staring intently into the eyes of the enormous owl.
The horn of a passing semi-truck blared, pulling Tabitha's attention away from the mysterious large creature. She looked back and saw that she had walked farther away from the Jeep than she had thought. She glanced back to the forest line only to see the enormous owl was deeper into the woods than before. She narrowed her vision to find the two large, bright yellow eyes staring back. Had it moved? The day's stress, care, and worry suddenly poured out of Tabitha. It was replaced by only curiosity and overbearing tranquility. She warmly smiled for the first time in months as her feet pulled her further into the woods.
Chapter 2
The tug of gravity pulls Tabitha to her senses as her body reacts, falling forward. Her arms thrust forward, bracing for impact. Water rushes around her face as she struggles to get her bearings. Quickly, Tabitha pushed herself up in the ankle-high stream she fell in. The haze slowly clears from her mind as she stares at the muddy water. The dull ache throbs up her legs. Tabitha can smell the sweat from her clothes. Her face contorted in panic as she quickly stood up in the water, looking for her cell. Thankfully, the device was still in her pocket, dry and unscathed.
"One o'clock. How can that be?" Tabitha says, slowly looking up from the screen to see the vast, dense West Virginia forest encompassing her view. She shakes her head back and forth with disbelief. A smile gently spreads across her face, with the last bit of tranquility leaving her body. How did I get out here? Her breathing becomes faster as her pulse begins to quicken. I'm in the forest. I'm all alone—just like Lisa!
"NO, NO, NO, NO! THIS FUCKING CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME!" Tabitha screams into the void of trees. Her eyes well up with tears as she crumbles to her knees, gripping her phone tightly to her chest. Her sobs ring out through the thick oak trees. Her breath slows a little as she regains her composure. She begins to search her mind for anything. What is the last thing I can remember? The image of the black shadow crossing her vision while driving flashes into her mind.
"Okay, I got out of the Jeep, the…then what?" Tabitha says, trying to refresh her memories. She thinks her memory is not just gone; it's a black void in her mind. Complete blackness fills her mind right after remembering locking the Jeep and then turning to see the…
"Fuck I saw something. What was it!" Tabitha says, frustrated with her mind. She knew there must be a logical reason she was out here. Officer Nichols warned her not to go looking for her sister. She wasn't stupid; she just said that as a last-ditch effort to get him to do anything. Now I'm here.
"Run!" Tabitha heard Lisa's voice in her ear. Before she could turn around, she heard a loud bellowing coming from overhead. Fear shot down her back, reminding her of the nightmares she had over the past month. She shot forward full bore as something crashed to the ground behind her. Glancing back as she ran, a black mass of feathers convulsed between the broken branches of the trees. Its slick black feathers rippled across its surface as its bones crackled and flesh tore. Its body contorted and twisted from the shape of an owl to something bigger.
"Run, Tabby! Don't let it catch you!" Tabitha pushed forward, hearing Lisa's scream beside her face. Her breath burned in her chest, and she moved past the old oak trees bent over the creek bed. Her feet slammed rapidly, splashing along the side of the creek. Another loud bellow comes from behind as the trees bend and break to the force behind her. A small opening in the rocky creek bed catches her sight from the left. She dives into the crevasses, not caring where the fathoms lead. Tabitha tumbles in the pitch black, taking scrapes and sharp jabs from the rocks as she tumbles further into the void.
She finally tumbles to a stop on the sandy, wet floor of the cave. Her body aches from the sudden burst of exhaustion. The cool water running around her body from the creek is soothing despite her bumps and bruises. Pushing herself up, she scoots out of the water. Feeling her way forward, she finds a dry spot to collect herself. Quickly pushing her hand into her pocket, she finds her phone undamaged.
The sound of footsteps pushing against the creek fills the void around Tabitha as the light steps move closer to each other up the underground creekbed. She slowly removes her cell from her pocket and then shines the camera light toward the sound. A pair of scratched and bruised pale bare legs hold up a frail form in front of her in the creek. She wears the darkness as a shroud with nothing else to clothe her. Tabitha froze, not wanting to shine the light further in the pale form before her.
"Tabby, turn your light off. You need to save your battery." Tabitha turned off the light and then rushed forward, embracing Lisa—the how or why didn't matter, only the now. The pale form hugged her tightly. Tabitha felt her cold, bare skin. The darkness couldn't hide the feeling of the marks across her back and torso.
"Lisa, I'm-"
"Hush! I don't have much time. This wasn't your fault! I'm with Mom and Dad now. You have to survive, Tabby! Listen. Wait until the sun shines through the cracks, making a trail out. Follow it down the creek until you come to the opening. You'll see a large hill you hike up for a cell signal. And remember…If you can't see it… It can't hurt you. I love you-"
Tabitha stumbled forward before catching herself. The void in front of her arms was only filled by cool air. She looked up and noticed a faint glimmer of light pushing through the ceiling. She sat down, relaxing against the limestone wall of the cave, waiting for the trail of light to form.
***
After a few hours, the light shining through the cracks of the cave ceiling was bright enough to lead Tabitha to the other side. She stepped onto the creek bed, thankful for the sun hanging lower in the sky. Scanning the sky, Tabitha saw only a few clouds. The foothills of Appalachia backdropped the forest as she scanned for the hill. Her eyes found the trail leading up the steady slope of an impressive hill. The top of the hill was bare. Part of the hill must have sheared off in a landslide, leaving the top void of trees and a jagged cliff face. Tabitha started her hike up the back of the hill. She was careful to stay under the heavy canopy of the old trees, hopefully avoiding the creature's eyes.
She did her best to quiet her mind while hiking up the trail. Come on, almost to the top, then I can call 911, she replayed repeatedly in her mind. Her adrenaline made up for the lack of food since morning. She drank some water from a clean spot in the creek. She was placing her bet on rescue rather than worrying about the water.
Leaning against one of the trees, Tabitha took out her cell and measured the signal.
"Damn it, nothing!" She swore under her breath. She listened nervously and cautiously peered her head out from the tree line. Standing at the tree line, the cell phone still had a low signal. She pushed her anxiety down with a swallow and slowly stepped forward onto the bare rock. Tabitha was now out in the open. She walked with the cell phone pointed upwards, measuring the signal. Within three feet of the cliff face, her signal bar punched up to full. Tabitha began to punch in the numbers just as a pair of large yellow eyes appeared. She felt her legs become weak, and her vision blurred as the creature snared her in its gaze.
Tabitha ducked, missing the giant owl's claws as it swooped for her. She squinted her eyes shut, momentarily breaking the hold of the infernal beast as it crashed to the ground, tumbling down the path of old trees. On her hands and knees, she tucked the dialed phone back into her pocket. She heard the creature's loud bellowing, followed by the snapping of bone and flesh ripping. It was changing its shape to finish her off.
Tabitha tried to get up, but the flash of its eyes did something to her. Her legs were numb, her stomach was in knots, and she could barely put a few thoughts together.
"If you can't see it, it can't hurt you." Tabitha heard clearly in her left ear. She quickly pushed herself into a sitting position and fumbled for the key chain in her right pocket. Pulling the long chain of keys, luck charms, and keepsakes, her father's Swiss army knife dangled at the end. She slowly opened the half-inch blade. Her body wholeheartedly rejected her plan and tried to fight her. Every internal warning system sounded as her body fought against her as she brought the blade against the corner of her left eye.
She didn't know if she could do it until the creature bellowed in her direction. With one quick motion, the half-inch blade sliced across her left eye. The world dimmed and then went black on her left side. Behind her, the beast's thundering gallop was getting closer. Tabitha plunged herself into total darkness with the last bit of her strength. Her hand gripped tightly around the bloody knife as she folded forward onto the ground. She could feel herself weeping blood. She squinted, doing her best to stem the tide of blood loss.
A large feathered paw drove into Tabitha's right side, flipping her onto her back. She lay still as the hulking creature stood over her. It remained motionless, and Tabitha was confused about why it didn't move or bite her. Then she started to giggle, just a little at first. Then, laughing madly into the creature's face as it growled back at her. She could not see it; she couldn't see anything. Her mind couldn't be eaten!
The creature roared into Tabitha's face while plunging one of its sharp claws into her shoulder. Tabitha screamed in pain, slashing the knife downward. The blade hit something soft, and she ripped the blade down, rending whatever she had hit on the abomination. A bright yellow, foul-smelling liquid gushed in a torrent over Tabitha's face. She turned to cough, having swallowed a portion of it. The creature reared back, squealing in pain. Its hind leg came down hard on Tabitha's leg, snapping her tibia. She jerked her leg up, causing the creature to tumble forward and fall over the edge of the cliff side.
Tabitha heard the creature crash below at the base of the hill. A large dead tree speared the creature through its chest. Tabitha could hear the labored whines of the creature as its cries became weak and slowed. A wave of sickness hit her as she rolled over and vomited. The foul smell drenched her. She did her best to focus, reaching into her pocket and pulling out the phone. By memory, she typed in the unlock pin. She held her breath and placed her thumb where the call button should be.
She could hear the call being made then, "911. What is your emergency?"
"Please help me! A bear has attacked me, and I can't see. I think I am on a hill."
"Ok, ma'am, stay with me! Do you know where you are located?"
"No, I'm lost. Please send help."
"It's okay. Stay with me on the phone, and I'll use the cell signal to try to find you."
"I'm on top of one of the hills. I think I am lying on a bare roc-" Tabitha slipped unconscious with the cell still tightly in her hand. Her body began to tremble and convulse.
"Ma'am! Ma'am! Stay with me. I have help on the way."
Chapter 3
A young man in military fatigues frantically compiles images and reconnaissance data from his drone feed. Confirming his hunch, he commands the winged surveillance drone to make a hard left and send a live video feed. His eyes widened as he saw a large owl-shaped shadow crash onto the top of a hill. He watches in awe as the sleek black owl twists and shifts into something much larger, like a grizzly. As the drone turns, he sees a woman at the cliff's edge trying to steady yourself on her hands and knees.
He bolts up from the command module, jotting down the drone's coordinates on one of the printouts. The drab government-issued office motif for the watch station blurs in the corner of his eye as he rushes down the hallway to the watch commander's office.
"Sir, recon has eyes on AMOS! And it's feeding!" the man said, swinging the heavy wooden door open. He took the hastily compiled file and pushed it forward to the commanding officer.
An older, tanned man quickly stands, reaching for the files. His brow furls, seeing his charge is awake. "Keep eyes on it! Go Adams!" The young man nods, turning on his heel and bolting for the drone command module. As his office door slams shut from the subordinate officer, he grabs his headset and frantically dials the closest military outpost to the coordinates.
"Hello, Sergeant Klein; this is Agent Smith of Black Watch outpost 7948! Shadow is active, code Alpha, Mike, Oscar, Sierra. The coordinates and data package have been sent. A civilian is on the ground; deploy strike-and-rescue ASAP.
"We'll be up in five, Agent Smith! The line cuts as Agent Smith closes out the call on his headset and rushes to the door. The normally quiet watch station buzzes alive, with personnel flooding the central command station. The background echoes resource allocation calls, frantic typing, and the hum of cold computers warming up.
"Adams, get our eyes back on Amos!"
"Coming back around in 30 seconds." Thirty sets of eyes stare at the three giant screens, anxiously waiting for the drone feed to clear the bank of trees. The camera clears the tre top to see the giant feathered grizzly rear back slinging its massive head away from its prey. Its large yellow right eye spews bright yellow liquid all over the red-haired woman and the cliff face. The giant feathered grizzly missteps, crushing the woman's leg and causing the creature to tumble over the cliff face.
"Fuck!" Agent Smith yells in horror as he watches AMOS fall four stories, impaling a sharp, 3-meter-tall log lodged in the boulders. The command center freezes wide-eyed at the flailing dying creature on screen. Agent Smith pulls his cell out quickly and dials.
"Klein, Scrub the current request! AMOS is down! Switch to rescue and harvest now!
"What, someone took out AMOS?"
"YES! It's at the bottom of the cliff, bleeding out essence! The woman is covered in it as well. Clean as much of it off her as possible before you take her to the ER.
"Understood!"
Agent Smith, in a rage, slings his phone straight forward, connecting with Private Adams's skull. Adams flinches at the sudden impact of the hard plastic and covers his head. Agent Smith grabs the table in front of him and flips it over, sending the computer equipment crashing to the government-issued tiled floor.
"A two-year cycle gone! All that essence is gone! Now I have to wait another 24 months for AMOS to resurrect!" Agent Smith screams, causing the rest of the staff to recoil away in fear.
"Jones!" Agent Smith says sternly, turning to a petite woman on his left. She stares at him, pleading.
"Yes Sir?'
"Get Officer Nichols on my office line. That fuck up has some explaining. He should have told us AMOS was awake."
"Right away!" Jones quickly sits back down and begins dialing Nichols, thankful she doesn't have to deal with Agent Smith further. The command center quickly shifts gears as Agent Smith returns to his office.
***
Two Weeks later…
"Tabitha… Tabitha… This is Doctor Wilhelm. Wake up." The kind older gentleman said as they gently nudged Tabitha in her hospital bed.
"Where am I?" Tabitha asked, waking from what felt like years of sleep. She sat up, the world still pitch black, but an odd sense of the world around her seemed to hum just behind her eyes.
"You're in the hospital, dear; you scared us. Do you remember anything?" He said as he sat down on the side of her bed.
Tabitha thought for a moment the last parts after she slashed her eyes were a blur. She remembers people yelling and the sound of two or three helicopters over her. " No, it's really all just a blur."
"Well, it's probably for the best. You had some very serious injuries. The first night, we honestly didn't think you would make it. Then…" The doctor trailed off with a concerned expression, not knowing how to explain things further.
Tabitha felt his pulse quicken somehow. She didn't understand it but fully felt or sensed the doctor beside her. She sensed the two other nurses standing at the end of the bed. Her body didn't hurt. She felt great. She felt hungry.
"Doctor, you said had. What happened to my injuries?" She said calmly, trying not to startle the old doctor further.
"Well, Tabitha, it's the closest thing to a miracle I've ever seen. You had violent seizures from the minute you hit the entrance of the ER. We couldn't even set your leg. The medications we gave you had a minimal effect, and you thrashed so much that we had to restrain you. Then, the early morning check-in found you in a deep sleep. All but your eyes were completely healed. So we switched gears to support care and treated your eyes the best we could." He said, watching her reaction.
Tabitha leaned back in her bed, taking in the wild account. "Do you know how I healed so quickly?"
"What happened to you is beyond all scientific reason. A miracle is the only way the staff and I can explain it. I know you have been through a lot, but I want to check your eyes."
"Thank you for all your help, Doctor Wilhelm." She said, sitting up in bed.
"You are most welcome, dear. Now I am going to unwrap your eye-dressing. Hold still, please." he said as he reached up and pulled on the bandage tape. Tabitha felt a quick tug and felt the bandages loosen from around her head. The doctor slowly unwrapped the bandages. The doctor's brow wrinkled as he examined the two large black scabs covering Tabitha's eyes.
"Tell me if this hurts at all, ok?"
"Yes, doctor." She relaxes as the doctor's gloved fingers pass over the scab. He pushes and gently tugs at the side of one, and it starts to lift. He pulls on the scab more, and Tabitha begins to sense the light as it hits her eyelid.
"Oh, I can sense the light, Doctor Wilhelm!" She said, smiling.
"Wonderful! Nurse Allen, please hand me some saline solution. I think a little water will loosen these right up. Hold still; this may feel cold," he said as he reached for the solution. She felt the cool liquid flush over the left eye, then the right. The scabs fell away with a gentle tug from the doctor. She could see the light shine through her eyelids. She grinned widely, happy to have some form of sight left.
"Please open your eyes for me," he said as he sat back on the bed. Tabitha slowly opened her eyes. The flood of light was almost too much, causing her to squint. After a few moments, she adjusted to the fluorescent lights. Three figures began to take shape in front of her. First, the distinguished older features of Doctor Wilhelm came into view quickly, followed by the brunette and blonde younger nurses standing at the end of the bed. Suddenly, her vision snapped into place, crisp and clear.
"I can see perfectly! This is amazing! Thank you, Doctor Wilhem!" she said, turning to look directly into his eyes, but he stared back at her unmovingly.
"Doctor Wilhelm?" she said as her expression became more worried. Doctor Wilhelm just sat staring, intensely focused on her eyes. His expression was overbearingly calm. She glanced at the nurses, rigidly staring back at her with trapped, calm expressions. Doctor Wilhelm began to twitch slightly. It traveled from the base of his spine out to his limbs, finally convulsing.
"Doctor Wilhelm, are you okay?" Tabitha yelled as the doctor began to have a seizure and fell on top of her bed.
"Help Him!" She screamed at the two nurses only to see both of them crumble to the tiled floor. One of them bashed her head off the bed frame. Tabitha recoils back from Doctor Wilhelm in terror as he starts foaming at the mouth. She climbs over the bed rail and hits the tiled concrete floor with a thud. Her adrenaline surges as she bolts for the door, looking for help.
At the entrance of her hospital room, she sees another nurse leaving the adjacent room. "Please, my doctor and staff need help!" As the male nurse turns to see Tabitha, he suddenly goes stiff before collapsing into a violent seizure, spilling his cart over with him.
"What's happening!" Tabitha screams, thinking something is in the air, or everyone has come down with something. A pair of security guards round the corner, hearing the screams and commotion.
"Ma'am, are yo-" The guard freezes mid-stride as he makes eye contact with Tabitha. Both men start to convulse and topple over, thrashing violently on the hard tile.
"No, no, no, no!" Tabitha yells as she darts into the women's bathroom, a few doors up the hall. She runs in, terrified of the situation. She approaches one of the sinks, bracing herself against the cool porcelain. Her stomach turns, and she dry heaves in the sink. She steadies herself while turning on the cold water. Leaning in, she takes a drink. As she looks up, a glint of two yellow eyes catches her. Tabitha stumbles backward on reflex. Then, she sees her reflection in the mirror. Two completely bright yellow eyes stare back at Tabitha. She screams at herself in the mirror, not feeling hungry anymore.
The end.
I will

I first started noticing that something was wrong around 3 months ago. At the time, I was working from home and would usually light a scented candle while I worked, which usually helped me relax and stay focused on my work. I would usually burn through a candle a week, but over time, the candles started to take less time to fully burn up. At first, I thought that this was because of a change in ingredients the company that made the candles used, but the problem persisted after I switched candle brands, which I once again blamed on the candle manufacturers.
I kept this belief for another week until the first incident. While getting up from my computer desk, which faces away from the candle, to take a quick bathroom break, I caught a glimpse of the lit candle. A two-inch layer of molten wax rested on another three-inch layer of solid wax, the wicks rising out at first and being somewhat visible through the molten layer, finally breaking the surface and being slowly burned away. The flames flickered as I swung the door open and walked out of the room. When I returned 10 minutes later, the molten layer was gone, and the wicks had been shortened so that the flames rested right above the solid layer of the wax. At first, I thought that the glass jar that contained the candle was leaking, but after a short inspection, I was only able to find two small drops of candle wax that had solidified right next to the candle on the bedside table. I still had 2 hours of work left to do, but I was too lost in thought and was unable to do any work for the rest of the day.
Every night before I go to sleep, I like to read for at least 30 minutes, and while reading, I usually light a candle. Around 4 days later, I had mostly forgotten about the incident and went back to using candles. Due to my naivety, it returned.
I fell asleep while reading with a candle lit on my bedside table. I woke up to loud slurping noises. As I opened my eyes, the brightness of the light I had not turned off almost blinded me. As my eyes tried to readjust to the light and focus on what was in front of me, I saw a somewhat humanoid dark gray to light blue blur that contrasted with the white paint on the walls behind it. Another gray line stretched from the shape's head to the candle on my bedside table. I could feel my heart skip five consecutive beats. I opened my mouth and tried to force out a scream for help, but the pressure I applied to my throat was way beyond what it was able to handle, leading me to only produce a light wheezing sound. I tried to sit up or to at least prop myself up, but my muscles failed me. Trying to push myself up with my arms felt impossible. As I stared at the figure that had suddenly appeared in my room, my eyes finally managed to focus, making it possible for me to see the intruder who was now staring at me. The figure was a man at least 7 feet tall, fully naked; he looked bloated; his eyes were bloodshot and looked like they would pop out of their sockets; at any point, his skin was a grayish light blue.
HIS LIPS
His lips extended from his mouth like an elephant's trunk, which had been split in half. The lips extended from the man's face to the candle; the flames had been put out. He was using his lips as a makeshift straw, slowly sucking up all the molten wax from the candle, which had fully liquified while I was asleep. I laid in bed, unable to move, unable to scream for help, staring until he emptied the jar. His lips retracted back to his face, the molten wax solidifying on their tips and cracking, flakes of wax falling off the man's lips and falling to the floor. The man grinned, staring at me. The ridges and gaps between the teeth were filled in with wax, making it impossible to make out where one tooth ended and the next one began. The man opened the door he was standing next to, but instead of walking out of the room, he stepped behind it. His face peered at me from above the door, and then once again, like he had done to drink the wax, the man puckered his lips, which stretched from his mouth and floated to me. I shook and tried to roll over away from him. I wanted to get up and run, but my fear had taken over my body. Tears flowed from my eyes. He kissed me on the cheek, leaving flakes of wax and light moisture. He retracted his lips and lowered his head behind the door.
I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, I saw the empty glass jar, which at one point contained the candle. Even though I had hoped that what had happened was a dream, it wasn't. I still had flakes of wax on my cheek, and on my bedroom floor, the wax in the jar had disappeared. I called the police, but they were unable to find anyone in my apartment; they also could not find any evidence of a break-in.
After the break-in, I started looking for a new apartment to move to, thinking that the man was tied to the building I was in, but even though I had thrown out all of my candles, I could not stomach spending another hour in my apartment, constantly looking over my shoulder or walking around with my back pressed up against the wall to not allow it to creep up on me. Thankfully, my friend Emma was able to let me stay over at her apartment while I looked for a new one for myself.
Me and Emma have been friends since we were 8, and we've been there to support each other when times get rough. This isn’t the first time I've had to stay over at her house for an extended amount of time; in fact, I have had to stay over at Emma’s as many times as she has had to stay over at my apartment, whether it was because of evictions after losing a job, breakups, or a candle wax drinking squatter. I didn't even know if it was human. I mean, sure, it looked like one, but human lips are not supposed to do what his did, and somehow it didn't have a reaction to molten wax being poured down its esophagus. I didn't tell Emma about what happened—the details at least—I just told her that a man had broken into my house and was watching me sleep. The only people I told the truth to were my therapist and the cops, and all of them disregarded what I told them as my mind making things up after a traumatic event.
For a while, I believed what they said—I mean, why wouldn’t I?—but then I started seeing him again. For a few days, I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me again like it had done during the night of the incident. For split seconds out of the corner of my eye, I would see the outline of a tall, bloated figure. At first, they were hours apart, but after a while, it became constant. He was standing in each room I passed, in every single dark corner I glanced past, and then he spoke.
“FeeD MeEeee”
It stood in the kitchen, peering over from a small gap between the fridge and the sink, where the trash can that had been knocked over onto its side usually stood. His voice was raspy, and every word that came out of his mouth was distorted as if he were gargling water, but still, I could somehow clearly make out each word he said from over 15 feet away.
“Please just leave me alone I… why are you following me?”
I shouted at the figure, the same fear that had taken over my body during the night I saw him for the first time paralyzing me, making it impossible for me to move anything other than my eyes, eyelids, and mouth.
“i’M sTarviNg, I nEEd You To FeEd ME”
It replied again. Now, stepping out from behind the fridge, he stepped directly onto a rotten banana. Its mushy brown content’s seeping out of the peel under the pressure of his decomposing foot, which was covered in scabs, and took up the same grayish light blue color as the rest of his body. He mostly looked the same; his bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets, but now his tongue was swollen. It peeked out from between his bloated, cracked gray lips; it stared at me, waiting for an answer.
“Ok, I’ll.. I’ll feed you, but please just... leave me alone.”
I replied, the tone of my voice shifting into high-pitched squeals with every quick breath I took. He looked satisfied by my response. He somehow squeezed his bloated body back into the gap that was at least four times smaller than him. After peering over at me from above the fridge, he bent over backwards, his spine releasing a series of sickening cracks until he was fully obscured by the fridge, and then he vanished.
Still barely in control of my body, I limped over to the couch tucked away in the back corner of the living room, it took me at least 10 minutes to steady my breathing and 20 more to fully regain control of my body again but as soon as I did I ran out the house and to the nearest store, during the 15-minute walk he stared at me through dark windows and the backs of cars, peered out at me from gaps between leaves in the trees and bushes, he even followed me into the store staring at me from the middle of deserted isles before disappearing right before my eyes were able to fully catch him, once I finally got the candles I randomly picked four off of the shelves and rushed to the self checkout.
When I arrived home, I had 2 hours before Emma got off work. I didn't want to feed it while she was home, and I didn't want her to see it. I pulled out two of the candles from the black plastic bag and placed them on the kitchen table, the first a light blue candle named “Garden Rain” and the second a red candle named “Juicy Watermelon." I pulled out a lighter from one of the drawers Emma used after her stove stopped lighting on its own and lit each of the 6 wicks on the candles. As soon as I started seeing the wax melt under the heat of the burning wicks, I dropped the lighter onto the table next to the candles and ran out of the room. I could not stomach seeing that thing again; even just thinking about it made me shudder and hyperventilate. The paralyzing fear that seeing him caused me made me want to vomit.
At least 30 minutes later I started to hear it drink even though the living room and kitchen were separated by a wall, even though I had closed the door I could still hear what at first started as slurping sounds which were followed up by loud gulps, then it stopped, and once again 30 minutes later it started drinking, as the slurping started once again I heard the door to the apartment crack open, it was Emma, as she stepped through the door I saw her carrying two large brown paper bags of groceries in her hands, she was headed to the kitchen.
“Hey let me grab those for you”
I said running over to her, my voice shaking.
“Oh, thanks. Are you… okay, you look scared?”
My eyes shot wide open in a mixture of fear and surprise. I said the first thing that came to mind.
“Yeah just umm… I didn't expect you to come home so early and I got a bit spooked”
“shit sorry, I know I should have called you, work let me off early today,”
I started to turn away from her walking to the kitchen.
Trying to keep her away from the kitchen I told her to wait for me in the living room because I wanted to talk to her about something. I didn't know what I would talk to her about but that was a problem for future me to resolve, somehow it worked.
“What's that sound?”
She called out to me while walking towards the living room couch. It took me a few seconds to come up with an excuse.
“I think it’s the sink, or the pipes at least”
I opened the door to the kitchen with my eyes closed at first hesitant to look knowing what would be greeting me. slowly prying my eyes open I started to see its outline, my muscles started to lose strength as the details of the man came into my view, I felt the grocery bags start to slip from my arms, my knees buckled, face first I fell onto the kitchen floor scattering the groceries all over the floor, I mixture of a light scream and a yelp escaped from my mouth as my body made contact with the floor, Emma concerned for my safety ran into the kitchen, she didn't scream, using all of the strength and mobility I had left in my muscles I rolled over expecting to see her face drenched in terror, her body frozen still unable to move just like my body had done the first time that I saw him, but Emma looked concerned, the man was gone, she crouched down beside me.
“Oh my god are you ok? What happened?”
I looked around observing my surroundings.
“I um… I… I tripped on the little thing at the bottom of the doorframe”
I finally managed to blurt out another excuse, not being able to remember what the name of a door sill was. I started to sit up using a part of the energy that had returned to my body, pain pulsed through my chest and arms, Emma looked at me with a concerned face.
“You've been acting really weird since I got home, are you sure you're ok?”
“Yeah… I think I’m just having one of those days you know”
The confusion on Emma’s face said that she didn’t know and to be honest I didn't either, I guess my luck of pulling random excuses out of my ass ran out, Emma thought that she triggered some sort of PTSD response after barging into the house unannounced at first apologizing then trying to change the subject to stop my trembling which I was still unsuccessfully trying to hide from her.
“Did you buy candles?”
Emma asked picking the groceries apart from the garbage that spilled out the can that the man had knocked over, placing them on the table next to the now half-empty glass jars, the flames flickered above the inch or so of molten wax the man was unable to finish drinking.
“Yeah I’ve been struggling with work lately, they usually help me focus”
“Huh Interesting combination you’ve got going on here”
She looked at me and smiled slightly, I smiled back and chuckled to seem normal.
“Yeah even I don't know what I was trying to accomplish here, to be honest”
I tried to help Emma clean up the spilled groceries but she did not let me, she told me that I needed to recover like I had been in a car crash instead of having taken a little tumble. After a few seconds of silence, Emma spoke again.
“Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
A quick jolt of stress shot through my body, in a jumbled mess of lies and fear I had forgotten what I had told Emma, I sat there in silence for a few seconds unable to come up with an excuse
“I…umm… I don’t remember, it wasn't anything serious though”
“Damn did you hit your head too?”
She said once again proudly smiling at her joke.
At this point Emma picked up the last bag of potato chips from the floor and placed it on the table, then she opened the fridge and started loading the groceries into it.
“Anyway I gotta go get back to work’’
I blurted out after a few more seconds of awkward silence.
“Alright well good luck”
I walked over into the living room and sat down in front of my workstation, which now consisted of a laptop sitting on a small foldable TV tray that had just barely enough room left on it to fit a small USB mouse.
The last thing I remember, before I fell asleep, was me mindlessly scrolling through apartment listings while Emma watched a random 90’s horror movie I’m positive only had a budget of $500.
I woke up with a light stinging pain shooting through my dry throat, and a dim hissing sound caused by thousands of water drops striking the ground outside filled the room. I pressed the spacebar on my laptop, the brightness of the screen blinding me temporarily, after taking a few seconds to let my eyes readjust I managed to make out the time, 3:45 AM. A strong smell I was unable to make out the origin of assaulted my nostrils. Lavender.
The smell hitting my nose had the same effect on me that I would expect smelling salts would have on a weightlifter right before they set a world record. Before I knew it my legs were moving on their own at an almost uncontrollable pace, fighting back against my mind which was telling them to slow down after years of being used to navigating both mine and Emma’s apartment as steadily as possible to not bother the neighbors.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity I stood before Emma’s bedroom door, a faint, yellow, pulsating light radiated from a lamp and snuck out of a small gap between the door and the doorframe, reluctantly I pushed my left hand up against the door, my right hand grasping onto the door frame for a sense of stability, once the door was fully agape I scanned the inside of the room my heart skipping a beat for every humanoid shadow cast up onto the wall by the lights from the wicks which were set ablaze and were being slowly burnt away.
I walked into Emma’s room and made my way over to her bedside table to put out the candle, as I stepped closer towards her, her face became more defined, I could finally make out her features, she was awake, but no she could not have been, even though her eyes were wide open they never blinked, she didn't even move slightly, as I moved closer I finally managed to fully make out the expression of pure terror on her face, her mouth wide agape as if she was about to release a deafening screach, but she could not have, a single drop of solidified wax dribbled out of the corner of her mouth and clung to her cheek, my eyes traced the cream colored path back towards her mouth, first up her cheek then between the corner of her mouth and finally behind her teeth, there instead of her tongue or the roof of her mouth I saw a wall of wax which had filled in the entirety of her mouth.
I fell to my knees and hunched forward supporting my body weight with my arms, I was too late, I resisted the urge to vomit and got back up onto my feet, a mixture of tears and snot slid down my face and onto my lips, shaking now I slowly started limping over towards my phone which I had left on the couch next to where I had awoken just minutes before, just minutes before my life was destroyed because of my lies if I had just told Emma what I had gone through, if I had just told her what had happened on the night of the incident which now seemed trivial, even if she thought that I was crazy, I know that she would have complied just to make me feel comfortable.
It took me at least 30 seconds of repeated attempts to stabilize my hands enough to properly dial 911. “Someone broke into my apartment and hurt my friend” was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with that would not get the operator to hang up on me thinking that this was a prank call.
I sat there in the living room for an agonizing 10 minutes, crying, my sadness slowly transformed into anger towards myself, and my mind raced thinking of all the lies I’d told, I kept thinking that if I had just told her the truth she would not have been laying there in her bed, her body bloated, “every single orifice has signs of forced penetration and has been filled with what seems to be candle wax” is what was written on her autopsy report.
For a few days I was the main suspect in Emma’s murder, but due to the almost unstoppable crying and the unresponsive state that I was in when the police arrived, mixed with the lack of evidence of me having a way to produce 30 pounds of candle wax led to me being released out of police custody, but because I was the main suspect I was not told any details about what had fully happened to Emma, for days all I had to work off of was the image of her face frozen in terror, and a short glance I caught of her bloated body as she was being carted out on a stretcher.
I recounted every single word of our last conversations over and over again until they became permanently etched into my brain.
Emma’s parents originally wanted to cremate her, as that is what she had somewhat jokingly asked for whenever the topic of funerals came up, well she had joked about wanting to have had unpopped popcorn shoved down her throat before she was sent off to “scare the shit out of the guy cremating me” but due to all the wax which would have been impossible to get out of her body they were forced to bury her.
A few days before Emma’s funeral her body disappeared.
After Emma’s death, her parents took me into their home, after reading the autopsy reports and seeing her corpse they had thrown out every single candle they owned which made their home the safest choice I had, still, this did not stop me from buying a machete and keeping it under my bed, just in case.
I was laying on the bed in their guest bedroom The day that the police informed Emma’s parents about her disappearance, the bedroom is right above the front porch of the house, at first I heard them ring the doorbell which was followed up by 3 powerful knocks on the door, for about a minute I laid there on the bed listening to muffled voices exchanging distorted words I was barely able to make out which slowly transformed into distorted weeps, curious I lifted myself up from the bed, made my way over to the window and carefully lifted the bottom panel making Shure to not make too much noise, the distorted muffled sounds started forming into coherent words “We checked the security footage but the only strange thing we could see was a 5 second time jump” one of the officers spoke in a serious and almost monotone voice “which meant that the security guard who was the only person in the building had to climb down 2 flights of stairs walk through a 40 foot long hallway and then drag her body back up stairs and out of the building in 5 seconds” Emma’s mom let out yelp “ but don’t worry ma'am that’s actually good news because we know that her corpse is still somewhere within the building and was probably brought to the wrong floor by an intern, we’ve already warned all of the staff at the hospital to keep an eye out, and we also sent 5 officers to search the hospital”
I could not believe what I was hearing, my breathing quickened, but this time instead of fear I felt anger, that fucker stole her corpse and was probably in the weird separate plane of existence he always went back to after terrorizing me, cutting off chunks of her body, melting her, and drinking her.
I closed the window Emma’s mom's cries once again turned into a muffled rumble which was only possible to make out if you knew what to look for, I took a few steps back away from the window planning to lay back down, not wanting to bother Emma’s parents. I bumped into something, not something, someone, its fleshy towering form as solid as a wall sent me tumbling forward, I knew it was him, he had returned to take me too, to stretch his swollen cracked lips, push them down my esophagus, fill my lungs and stomach with wax. But despite all of that this time I was not scared, I was angry, and I was not going to stand there in terror like I had the last time I saw him.
I fell forward onto my knees my face missing the window sill just by mere inches, I put my hands onto the floor, lifted one of my knees, and rotated 180 degrees now facing the monster, to the right of him pushed up against the wall was the bed, light from the sun reflected off of the metallic button which kept my machete in it’s sheathe, the man started to stretch his lips, they were moving towards me, waving a wiggling through the air like a snake slithering towards me.
I dove towards the bed one of my feet pushing off of the floor and the other pushing against the wall which creaked under the pressure applied to it, I flew for a few moments before slamming down onto the carpet and sliding forward, the heat generated by my skin brushing against the carpet released a sharp stinging pain throughout my body, my outstretched arm landed just a few inches short of the machete, I quickly bent my arms, pushing my body up and crawled towards the machete. my fingers wrapped around the handle I spun around, my back pushed up against the bedside table, once again facing the man, he was still facing the window but his lips faced me and were just a few feet away from me, for what felt like minutes but was most likely no longer than a second, I struggled to hook my finger under the strap securing the machete into its sheath, as the lips inched towards me the man started producing gurgling noises, he was regurgitation wax.
I finally pulled the machete out of its sheath, I swung the blade at the man's lips, the blade was not met with any resistance as it sliced through the man’s lips which landed on the carpeted floor with an audible thud, the man did not have a physical reaction to my counter-attack, his lips kept creeping towards me, once again I slashed at the lips, still no reaction, I repeated this at least 3 more times.
I wanted to kill him, I wanted to take revenge for what he had done to Emma, but fighting back was pointless. I realized that no matter how much I tried to hurt it, I could not kill him, I could not get rid of him.
My rage dissipated and a mixture of fear and sadness crept in, and soon took over my body, I screamed for help, I screamed in fear, in agony, tears streamed down my face as the man's lips finally reached my face, he wasn’t met with any resistance as his lips snuck between mine, pried my jaw open and finally started to slide down my esophagus.
I heard the cops run up the stairs, they started banging on the door asking if I was okay only to have been met with muffled screams, hot wax started to pour down inside of me, the stinging pain of the heat made me want to plunge the machete which I had dropped onto the ground next to me into my stomach to create a gaping wound that the wax would hopefully funnel out of, the texture of the man's slippery, oily lips matched with the poison like flavor of the wax caused me to start gagging, I felt my insides bulging like at any moment my intestines would have been filled to the point where they would pop, I wanted to vomit, the drain myself of the filth I was filled with, but his lips had plugged my throat not allowing anything to get out.
Hearing my muffled screams the cops started kicking the door down, the man retracted his lips, the suction aided my attempts at cleansing my insides, I got onto my hands and knees streams of molten wax pouring out of me, solidifying on the the carpet, with another loud thud the door swung open slamming into the wall, the man was gone.
That’s the last thing I remember before I passed out, but according to one of the doctors who was in the ambulance that brought me to the hospital, I was still semi-responsive during the first 10 minutes of the ride to the hospital.
Approximately 13.4 pounds of wax were removed from my body, the doctors said that I was in a critical condition and some of them did not expect me to make it.
One of the officers who was there the day the man attacked me took a report of what had happened to me, due to the unmistakable evidence of what had happened to both me and Emma, and the fact that this was the 3rd instance of me reporting something like this the police finally started investigating who this man might have been.
Around a month later I was discharged from the hospital and once again have been staying in the living room of Emma’s parent's house.
I’ve been seeing the man again, candles were not allowed in the hospital I stayed at, which means that he’s probably very hungry, he’s close to attacking me again, I know it, he wants to finish what he started and I don't know if I have the power to fight back, I’m not sure if defeating him is even possible, I’m tired.
I’ve been seeing Emma too, her bloated, reanimated corpse often appears to be standing next to the man. If I let him take me will I get to join them? I’ve tried asking but they don’t answer, they just stare, I can’t keep living in constant fear, always looking over my shoulder, I miss Emma.

Hey everyone,
I have been experiencing a really frustrating issue lately. Every time I try to eat pasta or rice, I start gagging almost immediately and sometimes I vomit. It’s bizarre because I used to love these foods, and they were a staple in my diet. Now, just the thought of eating them makes me feel nauseous.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? I’ve heard of food aversions during pregnancy, but this feels different. I can eat other foods without any issues, but pasta and rice are now completely off the table for me which makes me extremely frustrated. It’s making mealtimes a real challenge, and I’m starting to feel pretty limited in what I can eat.
I’d love to hear if anyone else has gone through this. Is this just another weird pregnancy symptom that will pass, or should I be concerned?

I’m 17 F and I’m really scared that I might be experiencing a cryptic pregnancy. I’ve never really touched reddit for any problems but i’m getting desperate and I don’t know who to talk to. I’m also too scared to go to the doctor because if I am pregnant my life is completely over, but I can get into that later.
Weird things that have happened to my body from November-May (keep in mind I had unprotected sex for the last time on September 30th): 1. I’ve had thrush/yeast infections twice within 4 months - once in November and another time in January

1. Before or during the first time I had thrush, and before I went to the GP about it, I had my period. During my period, my blood had a bad odour to it, like really bad
   
2. Around April - even now - there would be periods of time where I’d constantly feel nauseous for no reason but wouldn’t vomit. I also get dizzy and headaches often
   
3. I’ve recently been feeling a rising motion only in the top of my stomach. It’s not painful but it’s weird? When I press it my stomach gurgles and acts like gas if that makes sense
   

I think I covered all of it.
On the bright side: 1. I’ve had 7 regular periods since the last time i had unprotected sex (30th of September ‘23). I understand you can have implantation bleeding and mistake it for a period, but surely 7 regular, nothing out of the ordinary period means i’m not pregnant? To be truthful I’m just trying to convince myself it’s impossible.

1. I’m in no pain whatsoever. No abdominal pain that’s out of the ordinary. The only pain I get is light cramping before and during my periods, but that’s been my reality since even before I had sex.
   
2. My diet hasn’t changed to my knowledge. I eat the same foods with the same eating habits. If anything I’ve lost weight rather than gaining it.
   

I have an idea that the replies may just suggest I should take a test or get it checked out, but I’m so so scared. If my reality is that I am pregnant, that means i’ll be 7 months/31 weeks along, so I am in no position to abort it. I wouldn’t even think of aborting the child if I was older or if I was in a stable relationship even now, but I genuinely can’t, especially with that man being the father. “Why would you have unprotected sex if you knew the consequences” I made a stupid decision with a stupid boy who I thought really liked me, and I should’ve never done it, I know. I’m very regretful. I think after writing this, it’s evident to me that I’m looking for people to talk to rather than advise, because it’s pretty clear what I should do, but i’m terrified. Thank you for reading if you have made it this far. Any responses would be appreciated.

I came to this subreddit about last week asking for first time advice - so I figured it’d be fitting to come back with my first time at Sleep No More Shanghai. Thank you everyone who left the lovely comments and advice on my first post - much appreciated! I’ve written this both to share my experience and hopefully to exorcise it from my head because it won’t leave me alone and I need to talk about it. So this is going to get incredibly long, sorry! And very spoilery further down.
TL;DR: utter insanity, beauty and wonder and I’m still replaying it in my head even now. Roping in unsuspecting friends to go with me was 100% worth it, and I’m now in my friend chats trying to put together a second trip to Shanghai because I am never going to make the NYC one. Well done, Punchdrunk.
I’d kept myself to only the barest outline of Sleep No More’s details. I knew about Punchdrunk, that it was immersive, and that it was based on Macbeth and Rebecca. That’s about it - and while I was very kindly linked a first-timer's guide on Reddit, I didn’t read it (sorry!).
The only things I took going in were “drink lots of water beforehand”, “dress up”, “wear comfortable shoes”, and “if an actor reaches a hand out it’s okay to take it if it’s meant for you”.
I’ve done immersive theatre before: I went to “The Invitation” in London a while ago, but while the experience was interesting it didn’t really stick. We were shuttled from one “set” to another by staff members, and it felt less immersive and more like a stage play that took place around you instead of onstage.
Sleep No More I know was nothing like that, but nothing could prepare me for that night. I also don’t quite remember the exact floors of where I was, which is definitely the point of Sleep No More - but might make things confusing. So be warned.
We did Sleep No More on the day we landed so I was somewhat jet-lagged. I know I was worried about missing the first loop in my last post, but now that I’ve experienced the show myself, I’m actually glad we didn’t go in at 7PM because of how much was happening around me. When I go a second time, I’ll definitely do the 7PM entry, but probably the next day after I land! Also probably going to dress up again - we all did, and I went for a slinky silk top, witch-themed jewellery and palazzo pants. I doubt the dressing up did anything for me to stand out - not when someone was running around in a full backless lace gown, but it helped me get immersed into the world.
I was not expecting to be shoved to the front and asked to navigate a pitch black room with lanterns as a guide. Incredibly atmospheric, the music was on point but also very scary. Reaching the Manderley was a reprieve, and I made a beeline towards the Manderley once I saw it.
Upon entry, I ended up alone and left to my own devices once I left the elevator. The first thing I did was to take a wrong turn and end up in the toilet. No, not the toilet built for the set, I mean an actual toilet for any visitors who needed to answer the call. I hastily retreated.
I think because I entered at the end of the first loop, I couldn’t find any of the characters, so I decided to wander around. From there I found myself in the hotel lobby, where I watched a man with guyliner croon into a microphone and make eyes at I think the porter.
I didn’t know what that was about yet, so I kept exploring to get my bearings. I spent the first half an hour or so getting lost and prodding/touching EVERYTHING that could be interacted with and not nailed down. Not the best approach, but the set’s details were beautiful: the mirrors, the covered furniture, the open books, the array of fork-knife crosses in the cupboards…
I explored the restaurant, the hotel lobby, the forest with the graveyard and the two apartments. At one point, a whole stream of people walked by following an actor, so I followed the crowd into the ballroom.
In the ballroom, I watched the actors dancing. I still wasn’t sure what to look for or where I should be doing, but that changed when I saw the maid drug a drink and try to offer it to a pregnant woman. I was hooked from that point on.
When the dance ended, I followed the pregnant woman (i.e. Lady Macduff) out of the room. Turns out I make a terrible tracker and an even worse detective, because I would proceed to spend the rest of the night losing track of people and finding myself in strange, foreign places. I eventually found Lady Macduff, the maid and the porter again and watched a scene where the maid and the porter were in an altercation, the porter trying to stop Lady Macduff from drinking from the glass.
The maid won, and I followed the maid because I was about 90% sure the drink was drugged again and why do you want to drug a pregnant woman so badly? I then lost her around a corner and went back to the lobby, where I watched Lady Macduff unpacking her suitcase and cuddling a teddy bear. I wanted to give her a hug there and then because she looked so lost and lonely. Lady Macduff sat down in the restaurant… and the maid re-appeared.
Havoc ensued, and during the maid and Lady Macduff’s interaction - chase, more like, my heart was very much in my throat. When the maid left, my path was blocked by a crowd of onlookers, but Lady Macduff made her way down to the ballroom again. I followed her there, and I watched the hypnotising but very trippy supper scene. At that point, even more questions came up, like: when did the guyliner crooner manage to lose most of his outfit, why was there a very bloody person at the table, why were people pointing at each other and oh god what did I miss.
I had more luck following the maid this time, and was even more intrigued after watching her fight and trap a man under a steel door. I stuck very closely to her and watched her tidy and neaten rooms, but still had no answer as to why she wanted to drug Lady Macduff. A small group of us had found the maid and were just following her around, watching her interact with another man (Duncan?) at one point by pointing out a gift box to him, and then when the man left she was dancing on the bed.
By this point, I was completely convinced the maid was supernatural and she had been tasked with interrupting Lady Macduff’s pregnancy or doing something to the unborn baby, because at one point she was trying to climb up the walls of the bedroom like a demon possessed. We all followed her to the next room where she did more tidying up, stopped at a door at the back of the room, held out a hand and looked at us. For a moment I thought it was to the girl next to me, and then I realised - nope, it was for me. By sheer dumb luck I got a one-on-one.
It was intense. She led me into this tiny, barely lit room where she asked me if I was tired and invited me to sit down. She took off my mask, told me to close my eyes and off I went. She told me to breathe deep and listen to the sound of the ocean, and she asked if I believed in ghosts and the supernatural. At one point, she said we could hear “him” in every footstep in the hotel, and around me the lights were dimming to just a flickering lightbulb and her face. She then led me to a bookshelf where she placed my hands on two cushions, moved aside something, and in the darkness was this blazingly-lit and beautifully made diorama of the bedroom outside. She pushed my face towards it, finished her monologue, and then it was over.
She told me not to be scared at one point and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I can’t decide if this was part of the monologue or if this was her in-character way of telling me not to be nervous because I’m sure I was trembling in my seat. In my defence, I was sitting in a dark room, barely able to see as someone whispered in my ear about supernatural goings.
What I distinctly remember is how brilliant the actress here was. The maid has a very doll-like face that just commands your attention, and despite her even, gentle voice there was an underlying menace. Watching the lights fade around us reducing her to just a ghostly face in the dark was an brilliant experience.
At the end of the session, she led me out of the room, shut the door, and left me in the now-deserted apartment stunned and trying to compose myself. I didn’t see her again, but that was such a privilege.
I wandered past a scene of a man shaving another man on my way out. It probably was important because a lot of people were standing around watching, but I was still trying to calm down from the one-on-one. I went up one more floor and found all the shops and detective agency.
I entered the club where a couple was drinking a bottle of snake liquor that ended with the woman vomiting something up after drinking the shot. From there I went to the detective’s office, where I had way too much fun rifling through drawers and reading documents. I found Grace Naismith’s file, but I didn’t know what it was about, only that it might be a lead. I think if/when I go back, I’ll try and see if that leads to a plotline or if it’s just there for flavour.
For the rest of the night, I followed a bartender - I think? - into a rundown shack and watched a card game and a brutal murder. Turns out I’d just watched Macbeth kill Banquo, and I was none the wiser till I was comparing notes with my friends. I was struck by how bloody the whole thing was: yes, the beating was done behind the counter, but when Banquo was dragged backstage I caught a glimpse of the beaten-in-face and the blood. Don’t know how they did that, but it sent shivers down my spine.
I hung around watching the bartender clean up, drinking and trying to set the place to rights. We all heard footsteps, and I followed the bartender out to the doorway and watched supposedly-dead-Banquo walk away into the alley outside. Next to me, the bartender whisked the person standing beside me for another one-on-one. I was a little disappointed, but I’d gotten one already and I really shouldn’t be greedy.
At this point, I tried to go back into the shack to look at the cards pinned to the wall, but the stewards barred my way and led me downstairs. I ran into a waist-coated man also heading downstairs, and only then did it dawn on me the night was over. I watched Macbeth's execution at the final banquet, and the ending scene of him just swinging above the table, backlit by dark, moody lights… brr.
When my friends and I went back to the hotel room late at night, we alternately sat in dumbfounded silence or exploded into more theories. Upon comparing notes, we had seen completely different things and turns out, yes I did miss a lot, but I didn’t feel bereft at all. One of my friends studies lit, so she filled me in on several characters and context.
If I had any complaints though, it was how some members of the audience were behaving. I was routinely shouldered out of the way and pushed forward as they tried to get a better view. There were a few audience members who actually bent around to get into the actors’ faces while the actors were emoting, but I didn’t see a steward intervene once. Or maybe I missed it?
Also, the groups following Macbeth and Lady Macbeth were a lot. The doorways and staircases were nowhere wide enough for the crowd passing through, especially for the more popular characters, but I don’t know if this situation has already improved. You could also clearly tell who’d been there before, because they’d be standing at the actors’ exits obstructing the way.
I went home with a bookmark and a souvenir guide, but no t-shirt because the gift shop was incredibly crowded. Overall though: I’m hooked and am now planning my next trip to the McKinnon to find more characters. Apparently I missed two whole floors! I’m also very curious to know whether the one-on-one with the maid I got differs from what’s currently in NYC at the moment.
Hopefully I’ll get to go sooner than later, because I’d want to go one more time before it closes for good. Not any time soon though, because I'm still processing a lot.

35F, CW217, GW170
I have been unable to reliably lose weight for over a decade (briefly lost 40 lbs after a period of intense stress and depression in 2018, put it all back on by 2020), and deal with autoimmune arthritis and fibromyalgia. I started carnivore June 2023. 70/30 macro split, 2MAD 16:8 or 18:6 IF, with 20:2 on weekends. Labs (August 2023) showed insulin resistance and fatty liver.
In the first four months of carnivore, I saw the scale go down a fair amount; almost 12 lbs of water weight gone. I had improved sleep, lots of energy, felt pretty good; came off antidepressants for the first time since I was 18... But by Thanksgiving, I started having poor sleep again, night sweats and hot flashes, and my energy was GONE. Like it'd never gotten better in the first place. Libido gone. January 2023, I all but lost my period. At this point, I switched to 80/20 and 14:10 IF, per recommended protocol for hormone imbalances. In a month, I packed on another 6 pounds. No changes in energy, or sleep and no improvement in the symptoms of perimenopause. My husband has been doing carnivore with me, though for a couple months less. He also started noticing (male) issues, in February - plus crippling exhaustion. I find it hard to believe we were both experiencing hormonal/libido/energy issues by coincidence...
At the beginning of March, we both were fed up. We added some carbs back and were really surprised at how much better we felt, and how quickly. We have been following a keto-ish carb limit since then (me capped around 40, him around 60).
I will not ignore the benefits we HAVE achieved through carnivore - namely, my husband's 35 pound weight loss, and the reduction in my triglycerides/risk ratio. But I also don't think we can reasonably ignore what is staring us in the face. I was never of the opinion, like some that go carnivore, that plants are evil; we have only to look at Chinese medicine to know they can be incredibly beneficial. During a real honest conversation, my husband and I both expressed frustration and boredom with our current food - we missed flavors.
I have started working out again, and I find that my energy is low - and I know the typical advice is to add carbs. But after a year of cutting them out almost completely, its hard to get over the concern that I'm going to put more weight back on. We are only doing whole food, nothing processed; no sugars or seed oils. I also know that I'm older than I was the last time I was really focused on my exercise, and I've been largely sedentary in between; I work a desk job at home, so I've been fairly inactive for years. I walk one mile every morning and do full-body workouts as well as mobility exercises 5 days a week (working with a trainer).
I'm curious if there has been anyone that has come from a zero-carb lifestyle to a low carb (100g or less) and had improvement, weight loss, and energy increase. My daughter is 8.5 years old, and she wants to go out and do things as she gets older - and I don't want to be the mom who doesn't participate anymore. I don't want to be fat and miserable and useless, or have her remember me as being forever on the sidelines. I don't want to see pictures of us together and only be able to see how out of shape I am, or have her be ashamed or embarrassed by my weight as she gets older.
I've been eating some carbs the last few months, as I said - sweet potato, yellow squash, zucchini, onion, mushroom, tomato. Recently I've added some banana into my morning protein shake. I also enjoy broccoli and spinach. I've been eating mainly beef for the last year, and quite frankly I'm tired of having it every day. I'm adding chicken back into my diet (I had major aversion during pregnancy and never really enjoyed it afterwards, but I've found myself wanting some lately), and will still have beef a couple days a week. I'm not huge on fish outside of sea bass, orange roughy, or tuna. I will occasionally eat shrimp. Would love to hear about some of y'all's meals, your successes, and things you've learned on the way!
Thanks for reading this far!

What is the pancreas?

The pancreas is an organ located in the abdomen. It plays an essential role in converting the food we eat into fuel for the body’s cells. The pancreas has two main functions: an exocrine function that helps in digestion and an endocrine function that regulates blood sugar.

What is pancreatic cancer?

Pancreatic cancer occurs when changes (mutations) in the pancreas cells lead them to multiply out of control. A mass of tissue can result. Sometimes, this mass is benign (not cancerous). In pancreatic cancer, however, the mass is malignant (cancerous). Dr. Manoj Dongare provides the best Pancreatic Cancer Treatment in Pune. He is the best cancer specialist in Pune.

What are the symptoms of pancreatic cancer?

Most people don’t experience early signs of pancreatic cancer. As the disease progresses, however, people may notice:

• Upper abdominal pain that may spread to the back.
• Yellowing of the skin and the whites of the eyes (jaundice).
• Tiredness.
• Loss of appetite.
• Light-colored poop.
• Dark-colored pee.
• Weight loss.
• Blood clots in the body.
• Itchy skin.
• New or worsening diabetes.
• Nausea and vomiting

If you notice any of the symptoms, you must visit an HPB Surgeon doctor in Pune at the earliest. The fastest assessment and subsequent treatment will help you combat this medical condition and live a better life.

Pancreatic cancer risk factors:

Anything that increases your chance of developing pancreatic cancer is a risk factor. Some risk factors can be changed, while others cannot. Risk factors that can be changed include:

• Smoking and tobacco use: People who smoke are about twice as likely to develop pancreatic cancer.
• Obesity: Being very overweight (having an elevated body mass index, or BMI) increases your chance of developing pancreatic cancer by 20%.
• Having diabetes, especially type 2 diabetes, is linked to obesity.
• Chronic pancreatitis: Long-term inflammation of the pancreas is linked with increased pancreatic cancer risk, especially in smokers.

How Pancreatic Cancer is diagnosed?

Pancreatic cancer symptoms usually do not appear in the early stages. Several diagnostic tests are usually required to find and stage (determine the extent of) pancreatic cancer. Following methods such as blood tests, diagnostic imaging tests, and biopsy are used for detecting pancreatic cancer.
A) Blood Test: There are multiple blood tests that can be helpful for diagnosing pancreatic cancer such as

• Liver function test: Measures liver enzymes and levels of bilirubin (pancreatic cancer causes elevated bilirubin in the blood)
• CA19-9: Measures a type of protein in the blood that is often associated with pancreatic cancer (this protein can be present in non-cancerous conditions as well)
• Carcinogenic Antigen (CEA): Measures a type of protein in the blood (different from CA19-9) that is often associated with pancreatic cancer (this protein can be present in non-cancerous conditions as well)

B) Imaging Tests: Diagnostic imaging tests can see the location of a tumor and indicate whether cancer cells have spread, or metastasized, to other parts of your body. Which includes

• CT scan: A painless, outpatient procedure that uses a series of X-rays taken from different angles to provide an image of the pancreas.
• MRI scan: A painless, outpatient procedure that uses magnets, rather than x-rays, to provide an image of the pancreas.
• Endoscopic ultrasound: A special endoscope with an ultrasound probe is inserted into the mouth and directed to the first part of the small intestine to show the pancreas on a video screen.
• Endoscopic retrograde cholangiopancreatography (ERCP): A special endoscope is inserted through the mouth and directed to the first part of the small intestine. A smaller tube is then inserted through the endoscope into the bile ducts.

C) Biopsy: Although there are multiple diagnostic approaches to detecting pancreatic cancer, the most accurate way is by taking a sample of tissue (biopsy), which can be evaluated under a microscope. A biopsy can be performed during EUS or ERCP, or by a radiologist inserting a needle to withdraw tissue while under anesthesia.

Prevention of Pancreatic Cancer:

No specific measure can prevent pancreatic cancer, but some lifestyle choices can help reduce the risk. These include:

• Don’t smoke. If you do smoke or use tobacco in any form, try to quit.
• Try to reach and maintain a normal weight by eating healthy and exercising.
• Drink alcohol in moderation, or quit drinking altogether.
• Try to avoid getting diabetes. If you have it, control your blood sugar levels.
• Use safety equipment if your work exposes you to toxins.

Treatment of Pancreatic Cancer:

Treatment options for pancreatic cancer depend on the type and stage of cancer. Medical research is ongoing to determine the best methods for relieving pain and eliminating cancer..
A) Operable pancreatic tumor:
If a tumor of the pancreas is localized and blood vessels are not impacted by the tumor, surgery is often recommended to remove the tumor. In many cases after surgery, the physician will recommend additional therapy to prevent cancer from growing back, such as chemotherapy, radiation therapy, or both. There are several different types of surgeries used to remove a localized pancreatic tumor. As technology has advanced, options for surgical intervention have advanced, but the type of surgery recommended depends on the stage of cancer and the location of the tumor.

• Whipple Procedure: It is often used to remove tumors in the head of the pancreas
• Distal Pancreatectomy: It is often used to remove tumors in the tail of the pancreas
  
• Total Pancreatectomy: It is removal of the entire pancreas, and often removal of gallbladder, spleen, and other areas as deemed necessary by the surgeon.
  
• Central Pancreatectomy: It is removal of the middle of the pancreas
  

B) Borderline operable tumor: If the tumor is partially adherent to the portal vein or close to the neighboring arteries usually few cycles of chemo or Chemo followed by radiation is given. CT scan or MR is repeated in a few weeks and the response assessed. If there is a good response or stable disease, The patient is taken for Surgery. However, if the disease progresses during this period patient is referred for palliative treatment.
C) Locally Advanced Tumor: If a tumor is stuck to blood vessels which prevents its resection, surgery is not usually recommended because of potential complications. For many locally advanced tumors, physicians will recommend chemotherapy and radiation therapy as definitive treatment.
D) Metastatic tumors: Palliative chemo, stenting for jaundice, duodenal Bypass for obstruction are the options. Palliative treatment options include stenting of the obstructed biliary tree (to relieve jaundice), surgical biliary bypass (especially in younger patients), and complex pain-relief options. In addition, enzyme supplements may be useful because the main pancreatic duct is usually blocked. Chemotherapy is an option and has been shown to increase the chance of survival, especially over longer periods of time. Curative treatment options include partial or total removal of the pancreas to prevent metastasis. Postoperative morbidity is high (30%–40%), and patients generally require intensive care for at least 24 hours after surgery

What is the cost of Pancreatic Cancer Treatment in Pune?

The cost of Pancreatic cancer treatment in Pune may depend upon the following factor

• Type of treatment recommended by Liver Cancer Surgeon
• Duration of hospitalization
• Room category
• Additional medical tests, if required
• Expense for medications
• Government Scheme (If Applicable)

Book an Appointment:

Dr. Manoj Dongare at Dr. D. Y. Patil Hospital and Research Center provides one of the best treatments for various Liver diseases in Pimpri Chinchwad Pune. For more information about our comprehensive treatment options, or to request an appointment with the best HPB and Liver Transplant surgeon in Pune call [09881379573](tel:09881379573) or Click on Book Appointment for online booking with your near hospital.

I’m almost 14w pregnant with mo-di girls. This is my first pregnancy, and the twins were a total shock.
When did folks start to experience relief from nausea and vomiting during pregnancy? I have been WALLOPED since week 7 and am hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel. (I’ve tried every OTC and prescription possible, and go for IV infusions weekly. I’ve lost 20 pounds since this pregnancy started 😪)

A girl [15f] manipulated me [15m], into getting her pregnant.
I am really freaking out right now and have also thought of ending it all.
3 months ago, a girl [15f] approached me [15m] and we quickly became friends, and would talk with each other all day round in classes. We never met each other outside of classes, and she rarely uses and social media or texting apps in general.
A week ago, she told me that she was luckily invited to a party hosted by the seniors who are graduating soon; and wanted to accompany her. I accepted her invite since this would be our first time meeting outside of school and frankly speaking I had developed some feelings for her by then.
Its the middle of the night, and both of us sneaked out of our houses and went together to the party. We had 2 bottle of alcoholic beers and then were denied by the host due to our age: so angrily both of us went outside to breath in some fresh air. On our way, she asked me to wait a bit outside so she can go to the restroom. I then waited outside the door, and then she emmerged with two plastic glasses of a liquid of some sort which she said was "Kool-aid". We drank together, and then my head started hurting and the last thing I remember was both of us running. When I woke up a couple hours later, I was half naked and was on ground in the woods. I then realised she was sleeping right next to me fully naked. I woke her up and she acted surprised and freaked out. She said we had sex, and we just had to accept each other as a couple and move on. I didn't say anything out of embarresment and ran home, I was yelled at a lot by my parents for staying out all night and also for my torn,dirty and smelly clothes.
I was happy a bit, that I finally lost my virginity to a girl I liked a lot.
3 days go by, and she comes to my house, into my room and started crying; showing me the pregnancy test and saying that she is pregnant. My head started hurting a lot, and I shed a few tears all while looking dead. She asks me again and again on what to do, and doesnt want to get an abortion cuz of her traditional family. I tell her that we have plenty of time to think and if she ever feels tensed then to just meet me.
Yesterday, her best friend meets me during recess and tells me that, [15f] had planned all this out; to manipulate me into making her preg so I have no choice but to be with her for the rest of her life. I ofcourse called this bs but then she showed me the voice recording of that girl admitting all while laughing calling herself a "genius". The best friend asked me to please not tell the girl about that recording. I was heartbroken
The girl has called me about 20 times by now, buy i have been avoiding her.
Guys what should i do? I am in literal tears
Update 1: Thanks for all the advices. The most repeated and solid statement i got is that ; the baby is likely not mine...
This made me happy that I dont have to take the burden but at the same time broke my heart that the girl would go to such measures...
I have talked to my elder brother, and he said that we will get the paternity and std test soon.. I also talked to my school councelor but she told me to "accept" the outcomes even if its not my baby since she is a "hopeless" innocent girl; and that i need to "help" her get through it since she trusted me even though her method was wrong. I call bs on that and just walked out nodding.
I also informed my parents that I was raped and drugged but they just yelled at me alot and told me to apologize to the girl for even calling it a rape. According to them it was a COCSA (child on child sexual assault). I have been deprived of my TV time which kinda sucks..
I will get the recording from that girl tommorow; I have told her that i want to hear it once more in school just to make sure its not AI, while i would be secretly recording it with my own phone. She agreed.
As of the main villain here, I talked to her on call cuz it was really annoying that she called every 3 minutes and i got worried that she would cry to my parents before i told them.. Anyways i acted like i was not aware of her lying. She is now asking, nah i mean forcing me to get a part time job or hustle money. She called it the "Plan B" if her parents dont agree, she will run away with me. Nevertheless, I will not let this happen and get ride of this girl from my life as soon as i can...
I am really pissed off right now and at the same time feel very heavy. Its as if I am trying to scream in agony but the sound wouldnt come out of my mouth but rather just air. Thats the best explaination i can give of my current mental mind rn... i also do not think i can trust a female ever again after what had happened to me, i am not saying this as a 7 year old who has a grunch but i am really serious. I was heartbroken, and have accepted that women can be both terrifying and beautiful at the same time..
UPDATE 2: UPDATE: Thanks for all the advices.. it really means a lot to me that some can understand. One advice that I saw the most in this post was "Call the cops"; I will cover that here
I finally got the recording unethically. I asked that girl to show me the recording once more and i secretly recorded it with my phone. I now have the evidence i need
My brother's friend is a doctor, and he also believes that she was already pregnant since 3 days is not enough. He said that she is most likely between her 8th-12th week since the vomiting starts then. He is very happy to help and is ready to take the NIPP test only when the girl gives consent for it.
I have asked her to take the paternity test, she thought that i was not believing her and cried, cussed me out. Nevertheless she just called me and has agreed to take the NIPP test. I don't know why she agreed but she did.
We will be taking the test within 8 hours. I still haven't showed her the recording. I will show it to her once the results are back. If it isn't mine (which is most likely going to happen) I will just show her the recording and report her to the cops if she still lies. If it is mine (Which is impossible), then I will just go to the cops and show them the recording..
My uncle is a cop and I think we have a good chance of making that case, though If it does go to the courts, I wouldn't have money to get a good lawyer since my parents are totally against it. I am pretty sure we will win though, cuz we have all the evidence we need.
As for getting therapy, I still dont think i am ready yet to talk about such a sensitive thing irl to a stranger for days.
Thanks a lot you guys, i am so grateful for all of your positive responses, I really thought I would be blamed for it just like how my parents and the counsellor did. I will post an update as soon as I get the paternity test results.

My MIL told me "You got rid of yours! so how would you know !" (typo in title. wrote this on my phone)
Hi there this is my first post ever and Though this happened a few years a go I feel like i need to write this out for cathartic reasons . so apologies if this is confusing and goes back and forth .
Background : me (28 F) and my S/o , let call him John(29M), have been together 11 years this October, being some what high school sweet hearts we have gone through most and if not all of our major moments in our 20s and now entering our 30s . When we first got together i was fully aware John and His mother dont always get along. And thats putting in nicely . In reality they get in to Full screaming and cussing fits. These can be started from a simple discussion, think "what color is the sky?" and the most unhinged argument would start. MIL is a divorced, awful narcissist who gaslights John and mentally and emotionally abuses both John and his sister , my SIL , we will call her Kelly. My SIL Kelly is also just as bad and if not worse than my MIL in some ways . In the past i tried very desperately to get them to get a long and bury the hatchet , my MIL and SIL would loudly talk about how they loved me and appreciated me and my MIL started calling me her DIL almost 3 months in tot he relationship. (Probbaly Red Flag #12 but i was young and was brought up being told its the most important thing to have your S/O family like you and you do what ever your S/O family ask of you .) Now my SIL being possibly worse than my MIL would be her anger issues on top of her own narcissistic and gaslighting behavior modeled after her mother .SIL also has 3 children by 3 different men, never married and has protection orders agaisst all these men, and dragged all of them to and from court in the same fashion as MIL divorced John and Kelly Father .Also as she had the relationship end with her first Babby daddy we inherited her dog as she couldnt keep him and he is now OUR dog has he as lived with us for almost 8 years now, he is our dog as i pay for his food and all vet needs, he is 100% a house dog and lives happily with all of us and his dog sissters . Over time both MIL and SIL obviously became comfortable and thats when i started seeing their disturbing behavior towards John and his Grandma then later to myself . MIL and SIL have abused Grandma by using her as free child care (Gma is 80) and would berate her and use the Kids against her, if Gma did anything SIL didnt like . By using the kids i mean SIL would send long text messages telling Gma she the worst and worthless, bringing her to Tears and she is banned from seeing the children untill SIL decided shes no longer upset or had no other options . As of Current she is still banded from seeing her grandchildren and we have no idea what she needs to apologize for. Next we escalated to being screamed and kicked out of Christmas Dinner , my MIL stelaing $2,500 from Johns Saving account and stealing Gmas credit card info to use on Amazon orders to just show a few more examples.
Now back ground about story in question: Myself and John found i was pregnant when we were 19 at the time we decided to terminate the pregnancy as we both heavy believe in having children only when we are economically comfortable enough to do so and both agreeing that being so young this was not the time to do this. We both strictly believe in this as we have had many family members pop out children with out any though and that disturbs both of us. Then Going to Plan Parenthood i was told i had an ectopic pregnancy and they then was rushed me to the hospital to schedule my termination . Understand this was a very scary situation for myself as i was told one of my ovaries could be removed and due to the placement fluid was building up and stuck near my hip that caused my to start losing feeling in my leg , but the surgery was scheduled for the next day . Thankfully I had some Great doctors and both my own family and John overwhelmingly supported me during all of this and i didnt have to lose an ovaries . Yay! Now i am actually a pretty private person when it comes to my heath and due to feeling some misplaced embarrassment and shame i asked John to no speak to his mother about this i wanted to keep this between us . He agreed though obviously this was stressful and devastating to us at one point he did confide in his mom for support . At the time i was pretty furious at this but understood that as my family knew and gave us all the support we could ask for i understood he did long for his own mothers support . At the time she was extremally understanding and supportive and was everything John needed emotionally at the time and she respectfully gave me space and didnt bring up any questions. I deeply appreciated this at the time as it was what i needed.
Fast forward to the day in Question: 2020
It was a bad day for me , i was very sick dealing with ,at the time, an undiagnosed Gallbladder disorder that caused sever vomiting and abdominal pain that wasn't corrected untill late 2022, and i went home early with an hour dive back to the home myself and john share with his Gma. When i arrived home SIL and MIL with the kids were at the house just visiting . During this SIL keep speaking about OUR (Myself and Johns Dog ) still being hers. During a moment i was unable to hold my tongue and said something along the lines "well he isnt your dog thats why ." she then screams "YOU BITCH!" in our home in front of the kids . I then promptly and calmly told her " You can leave now . " she then continued to cuss me out but i had blocked most of that out as none of that needed to escalate or be said in front of the kids .At this Point john was also loudly telling both MIL and SIL the leave and they will not speak like that in the house . We were then told we couldnt tell them what to do as it was Gmas home and now ours . I looked and Gma and as she went to say something MIL started screaming at her telling her to "Shut up and mind her business" By this point the argument then escalated to a point of SIL taking the kids out of the house telling us we "are wothless and we could all fuck off ". MIL was still yelling and i couldnt tell you what but then as i loudly told MIL that their behavior was unacceptable and they needed to leave our hosue and SIL behavior infront of the kids was also Unacceptable in this home and since we all live under the same roof we have just as much say in the home as Gma. MIL then proceeded to say "How would you know how to take care of children !" you got rid if yours !' It took everything in my body to not jump over the living room sofa and beat the ever loving shit out of her. I did take a step forward and said "Do you want to repeat that ?" she looked at me in horror, not because of what she said but because she probably saw the rage in my eyes and i was not acting my "normal submissive self " with her so she was not prepared for my response . John then proceeded to tell her to "Get the Fuck out of this house ! How dare she and she was no longer welcome in the home. I couldnt really tell you what i was saying at that time or if i said anything at all after that as i was in a blind rage . She stormed out of the home and slammed our front door. funny part was they left the kids water bottles so she had to come back and knock on the door to get them back. I opened the door tossed them at her and slammed the door so hard in her face the entire front door area shook and almost dropped some frames off the wall.
I apologized to gma as i know i should of held my tonge when they were over but i just couldnt . She told me to not aologize and she is so ashamed of both MIL and SIL behavior and she didnt even know what to say or do to make me feel better. At this time i was unaware i was shaking violently and and tears just free flowing out of my eyes . Both Gma and John did everything they could to comfort me but nothing quiet helped. I think i just disassociated for the rest of the day or else i would if spiraled out of control. We went NC very quickly after this as John couldnt believe that came out of his mothers mouth and was just taken a back and devisated as i was . Gma was still baby sitting and told gma i would never tell her what to do but please dont speak of me over there or anything about my family or me and John. she agreed that was best and kept her promise. though Months later i found out i was still a topic of conversation at MIL and SIL home, about my behavior that day and my "unplanned and outrageous choice to get rid of my child ." Gma came home and explained what was going on to John when i over heard and then suddenly spiraled into a nervous break down . Johna nd Gma came over to calm me and she apologized as she wasnt trying to keep it from me but didnt want to upset me further so she believed telling John was a better what and have him speak to his mother about this but he was also spiraling . after a few days i sent MIL a 4 page educational Fuck you text message and link included so MIL and SIL could better educate themselves as i did not "just get rid of it" i had a medical emergency that could i had last effects on my life. She then responded with no apologies no remorse , just blamed Gma for speaking when she shouldn't and that i "owed her" for being taken to Disneyland (which was a fully planned family trip she invited me to and was upset that John didnt propose to me during trip at disney) and i also "owed " her for her taking me to a doctors appointment. I responded and told her that was the sadest text message i have ever read and that i was so sorry she was just sad narcissitic woman who cant live her life with out blaming the world an her mother for her problems. Going forward MIL and SIL were blocked via phone , and all social medias as i will not allow people like them in my life. John also went NC and he was aware i was sending the message and if he would like he could read it himeself . He politely declined and explained going NC was the best to do as he couldn't stand to look or speak to her anytime in the near future, and with the horrible comments made about me i was allowed to say what ever i wanted to her .
(now since 2020 , we did have an accidental pregnancy around 2022 near the end of covid. All the stress led us to also make the decision to terminate as i was mentally not healthy enough , covid still going on, john lost his job it was another instant where this is not feasible for us, this was a very hard choice for us that put us at the lowest of our relationship and i even had complications after the termination which put me on bed rest for a week. MIL has no knowledge of this as it is not at all her business)
Since the house argument we went NC has been heavily inforced, with the occasional reach out demanding to speak to her son and now her refereeing to Gma by her legal name. SIL forbid gma from seeing the grandkids but will ask John to come see the kids which 9/10 times he declines. It breaks our hearts to not be apart of the kids life's but there is no more fake smiling through their BS . They have stopped by the house less than a handful of times for brisk interactions with the kids . MIL and SIL will try to engage me in conversation but they dont get anything besides the occasional "uhuh " and "oh wow" comments . They reccently invited us to the kids soccer games but sometimes the thought sends me to full blown panic attacks nd melt downs even thinking of engaging with them . I do speak to a therapist about all this and other things in my life, i do suffer from extreme anxiety and depression but as me and John have been getting better financially we have had more relaxed conversations about having kids soon which has brough up a lot of anxiety for me again with some flash backs to mentioned fight with SIL and MIL . They do occasional wiggle back into our lives like this which at times i could care less and other times cant leave my bathroom due to fear. John and myself haven't had much conversation about my anxiety for it lately but if i tell him "No" having to deal with his mother and sister , he never argues , never makes me feel bad for not engaging. He has always been extremally supportive with any of my decisions i make which makes me love him more . I understand that was a lot and i could go on forever about the crazy shit MIL and SIL do with their sad life but i just needed to get this out there . sometimes i think no one agrees with me about their behavior and after losing 2 best friends to ODs and Toxic life styles i dont have really anywhere else to express this emotion or ask for a ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on that isnt my S/O .
Well thats the general story thank you for lasting this long and reading my story today . If you have any questions or comments im happy to reply if anyone has anything to say.

Zǐ Sū Yè (Perilla Leaf) — acrid, aromatic, warm goes to the Lung and Spleen
for externally contracted wind-cold to move the qi of the chest for morning sickness during pregnancy And for resolving seafood poisoning** (This is the same as the “shiso” leaf you see accompanying a lot of Japanese fish dishes)
**there’s a story behind this herb that one of my teachers shared with us:: One day a Chinese herbalist decided to go out with two of his students to have some food and drink. At the restaurant, he watched as a group of men ate what appeared to be a Giant’s portion of fish. And after they finished that, they ordered more. The doctor pulled one of the servers aside and said “hey, I’m worried about those men, they are eating so much fish, they are sure to get sick!” The waitress was unperturbed saying “these are big strong men, they can handle their fish.”
Well the doctor knew that no person, on a hot day, should eat down this much raw, cold fish. He knew what was to come, and instructed his students to go to the river and collect the purple-green leaf that grew by the shore.
The students returned in perfect timing to see the previously raucous group of men beginning to fall ill one by one. Going pale and gripping their bellies, vomiting on the floor of the restaurant, it was a catastrophe.
The doctor brewed tea of these purple-green leaves (zi su ye!) and upon drinking it, each person’s nausea was quelled. As they sipped, they regained their digestive abilities and therefore their muscular strength and coordination and eventually went on their way.
While everyone helped to clean up the restaurant, one of the students asked the doctor — how did you know that those leaves would help with the seafood poisoning?
He said - there were many days where I sat by the river watching the river otters do their daily routine. They collect little fish and shellfish and bask in the sun eating it all day. I wondered about the sustainability of this, and eventually noticed that after each of the otter’s small feasts, they would swim to the shore and eat this purple-green leaf, and then return to their floating and eating. I guessed that this plant might contain some properties that warm the belly to digest fish. I wondered if it might carry the same medicine for us too.

Sorry if this is a bit disjointed and long, there's a TL;DR at the end. I just had my LEEP on Thursday and wanted to share my experience. Hopefully this soothes a fellow over-thinker.
Background: 30 yr old female, 130 lbs, 5'2". No moderate, severe or chronic health conditions.
I was diagnosed with high-risk (HR) HPV with LSIL/abnormal cells in February of this year. Not 16/18, but another HR strain. I got at least one shot of the HPV vaccine before I turned 26 so I was really shocked at this. I had a complete emotional breakdown because of the connection to HPV and cervical cancer, plus I just felt....dirty. I've gone through my sexually active years without getting as much as a yeast infection, and now I had just been hit with an STI, and the one that causes cancer. I went into a pretty deep depression and honestly I'm still in that depression zone but not nearly as much. I did a ton of research and my findings told me that even if it was cancer, it's one of the most curable ones especially given my age, health, etc.
My primary doctor referred me to a gyno's office connected to the hospital I go to, and I scheduled an appointment for March 1st. Gyno (who was actually not an OBGYN but an APRN/midwife?) basically did a slightly more advanced exam/questionnaire then I got another referral to an actual OBGYN for a colposcopy and scheduled it for April 1st. I thought I would have the colpo/biopsy with the APRN during my March appointment but I guess that's just a "yeah your primary is right you need a colpo" step. Idk, very confusing.
April 1st comes, the doctor that was available for that date (I wanted to get this done asap) had some less than favorable reviews on the internet so that made me a little uneasy. Between each appointment I was spending hours researching, redditing, googling, youtubing etc. so I wouldn't go into this completely ignorant and hopefully minimize the chance of any BS being pulled.
My doctor was, to my surprise, very chill, professional and knowledgeable. Took time to answer all my questions, we even had some laughs. Please ladies, find a doctor that makes you feel comfortable if you can. No question is a silly question and no doctor or nurse should make you feel like you're stupid for raising concerns or asking a lot of questions. If you feel something is off or a doc is being an a-hole, that's your sign to GTFO and find another doctor. Pleasant staff make this experience so much better.
The colpo: wasn't that bad. They crack you open like a pistachio with a speculum (like they would use for pap smear) and take a look at your cervix with this scope. A vinegar solution is applied to highlight the abnormal cells. My doc's colpo machine did have a screen that could show me what he was seeing, although it wasn't working and honestly I'm glad. I think seeing what was going on inside of me would make me worry more. So I just had to take my doctor's word for it when he said the area of abnormal cells was small.
I had a punch biopsy done during my colpo and oh man. It hurt. I wasn't instructed to take ibuprofen beforehand. I'm not sure if they didn't think I would need a biopsy or what but holy crap. 2 samples were taken, at 12 o'clock and 6 o'clock on my cervix, and I received a curettage as well. The curettage didn't hurt or was minor in comparison to the biopsy. After the biopsy, a "liquid bandage" was applied, this bandage is called Monsel's solution I believe. It's a mustard yellow paste.
The biopsy caused immediate moderate cramping and pain. The "6 o'clock" one, which was a larger sample, made me flinch and let out a little yelp. 6 o'clock hurt a lot. I will say that my doctor talked about what he was going to do before doing or as he was doing it so it's not like I was taken entirely by surprise. However, you don't realize how sensitive your cervix is until a chunk is taken from it.
After the biopsy, I felt this dull pain, nausea and cramping and apparently had excessive bleeding. Dribbles of blood were present on the procedure chair and floor, some of which had been cleaned up by the nurse/assistant prior to me sitting up so who knows how much was there. Doc confirmed this excessive bleeding in my after visit summary, but it wasn't so much so that it warranted some kind of emergency. I experienced some spotting for about 2 to 3 days after. I expected more blood in my pads but that never happened. I think seeing all this blood, knowing where it came from and why it was there made me even more nauseous.
The nausea and...weakness after the biopsy really had me messed up. I could barely focus as my doctor went into detail about what to possibly expect afterwards, what he saw (he even drew a little picture of my cervix), answered any questions I had. We said our goodbyes, I got dressed and made a mad dash to the waiting area's water cooler. I figured some cool water would calm my nerves and my stomach. I stupidly walked home after the procedure (I live in Chicago, very close to my doc's office). Nothing terrible happened but in hindsight, what if I passed out in the office, in the street? If you can ladies, have someone with you to get you home safely and for support. Or, at the very least, take an uber after.
After getting home I checked my pad, everything was good although I did have some "coffee grounds" in my pad from the Monsel's solution. The doc warned me about this and to expect it for a few days. I crashed on my couch for a little nap before going to a concert later that evening because I don't know how to take a day off.
The next month following my biopsy was largely uneventful, I did have intercourse about 2.5 weeks post-biopsy with no issues or pain, although the thought of infection and the whole process made it hard to enjoy sex (I healed up just fine so this was more unnecessary worrying). I didn't experience any pain, fever, or excessive bleeding, only some mild discomfort/cramping/lethargy (likely due to mentally stressing myself out) on day 2. I did however, experience one moment that freaked me out:
Day 3 post-biopsy: I got home from after work (my job requires me to be on my feet most of the day) and felt something in my vagina. It felt like a freshly inserted, regular sized tampon. I went to the bathroom, washed my hands and reached down to feel something coming out of me. Something was crowning and breaching my labial gates. I reached back down and slowly pulled out whatever object was in me. It felt like a horror movie. I knew I had inserted nothing.
Based on the feeling of said object, I thought my cervix was falling out of my body. I started panicking a bit. Panicking intensified after pulling out this...sac.
It looked alien. It was this membrane sac, about the size of a pitted date when rolled up. Within the sac contained those "coffee grounds." I knew it was the Monsel's solution and likely I had shed the liquid bandage. That logical thought didn't stop me from freaking out and gently wrapping my alien sac Starbucks trash baby in a piece of toilet paper and further sealing this HPV caused abomination into a Ziploc bag. My plan was to run to the ER and show them the freak I had given birth to.
Problem is, I had just lost my is insurance and was in process of getting a new plan, so a costly trip to the ER, waiting for hours for them to likely tell me I'm a panicky idiot wasn't really in the cards. So what does any overly anxious patient do? Turn to Dr. Google of course! I found a couple of reddit posts from women who had experienced the same thing but there wasn't much information on what had just slithered out of me. I found one of those "pay $5 for any kind of advice: legal, medical etc! Chat with an expert today!" sites that seemed legit enough. I got in chat with a doc quickly after some AI pre-chat prompts and he confirmed my suspicions: it was the Monsel's solution that I had expelled from my body. I was told this wasn't unusual and so long as I don't have an excessive bleeding, fever, pain, blah blah, I should be fine.
And I was fine. If you experience this and don't have any accompanying complications, you should be fine too. It is weird when it happens though.
My results came back about 2 weeks later. What was initially thought to be LSIL turned out to be HSIL/CIN-III, and my OBGYN told me I needed a LEEP sooner than later. My appointment was scheduled for next month and I still didn't have insurance. These month long waits between appointments were anxiety ridden depression fests, fueled by junk food and further exacerbated by internet research. The LEEP posts on Reddit had me so concerned, I reached out to my doctor to see if I could be put under general anesthesia for my LEEP, instead of receiving local anesthesia. Women on here described LEEPs as painful and traumatic. Just awful stuff. If you're reading this you've likely read those too. They described leg shaking after the shots, crying, etc. My doctor left me a detailed voice message and responded to my concerns with: "most women tolerate it well but if you're uncomfortable we'll send you to the hospital and put you under monitored sedation/anesthesia." I was still worried but was willing to see how I felt after local anesthesia. I was pleased he was open to working with me and my comfort level.
Fast forward to Wednesday last week:
The night before my LEEP, I got maybe an hour of sleep. I couldn't turn my mind off. My heart started racing an hour before my procedure and I had weird heart palpitations/irregular heart beat. I showered to calm myself down and be clean for my appointment, took 600 mg of ibuprofen as instructed, then headed out. Got a little snack from Starbucks (croissant for before since I was walking to my doc and some madeleines for after to help offset some potential nausea). For my LEEP I wore a big comfy sweater, some "period" leggings (leggings that aren't too tight and I don't care if they get blood on them) and brought a pad with me just in case. They should provide one for you but I'd rather be prepared. Got to the office, checked in, did the pregnancy urine test, got called in quickly, went through the whole height/weight/med history routine. About 5 mins later I sat down in my OBGYN's office. He described the lab findings (CIN-III), detailed the procedure, the tools and supplies they would use, aftercare and answered any questions I had. He then led me into a procedure room (pretty sure it was the same one I had my bloody biopsy in). I got undressed from the waist down like a pap, sat in the procedure chair, draped a little paper blanket over my bare bits and waited. The doctor came in with his nurse and went to work.
They again cracked me open with a speculum, this time it was rubberized on some parts. This is so your vagina doesn't get fried from the electrical current, otherwise your pubes and vulva will look like Marv in Home Alone. They also slapped a little rubber pad on my thigh to "ground" me like I'm some kind heavy duty machinery. Colpo machine comes forward so the doc can zoom in on your cervix. He applied 2 types of solution if I recall correctly: the normal vinegar solution to highlight abnormal cells and an iodine solution to highlight normal cells. Someone can correct me if that's wrong. The solutions and their uses were the least of my concerns.
He then went in with 4 lidocaine injections to numb the area, total of about 1 ml of lido I think. He used a very small needle and upon insertion, it felt like a little pinch. Now, for those afraid of needles, it is a long ish needle but the actual poke is minimal. Although some women report that the inject was the worst part. That was not the case here but the visual can be a bit alarming. After the first injection, I didn't feel the other 3. I felt comfortable going forward with the procedure, and my doc kept checking in with me to make sure I was ok. I did feel an increase in my heart rate post-lidocaine, but it wasn't concerning. I wasn't sure if this was from the "holy shit he's about to start zapping" or as a side effect of the lidocaine. Regardless, my heart rate came back down to a reasonable level given the circumstances in a few minutes. I was actually so comfortable at this point, I managed to relax my asscheeks after they were clamped together like a vise grip from the moment my derriere hit the chair.
I'm not really sure what happened after the injections, I knew he was using the LEEP machine but I don't know how long that lasted and when the wound was being created vs. cauterized as I didn't feel anything except some mild cramping/discomfort. I didn't flinch like I did with the biopsy. When the doc was finished, he applied a little bit of Monsel's, described how much he removed, went over aftercare again, we said our thank yous and goodbyes. I got dressed and went on my way, snacking on my madeleines on my way home (I walked again lol). I felt well post-procedure and even stopped at Target to do some shopping and smell some summer collection candles. I did feel myself bleeding but when I got home and checked the pad, there was a minimal amount of blood. Some women here have reported a distinct burning smell during their LEEP, I didn't smell anything but I also have sinus issues soooo maybe I just didn't pick up on it? My appointment was at 9 a.m. and I was out by 9:32.
When I got home I had some orange juice, water then slept for about 8 to 9 hours. I did have little cry sessions here and there after my procedure. But I was also sleep deprived and know I tend to get emotional. Regardless, take some time off after a LEEP, stay home around your own germs if possible. Get some of your favorite snacks, a face mask and a Nintendo switch or something. This is a good time for some self-care and rest, girlies.
Friday, day after LEEP: no bleeding, minor cramping/discomfort.
Saturday: Usual morning pee met with some blood in the toilet paper. Nothing in my pad though. Throughout the day I slept on and off, I've been more tired than usual. My body and mind has gone through some shit so I'm not mad at myself for being sleepy. I did experience some heavier bleeding throughout the day that was mostly dark colored. The blood level was about the same if not less than what I'd experience with a period. No unusual smell. I did shed the liquid bandage. Did have some mild cramping at certain points during the day but not debilitating or worth taking ibuprofen over.
Sunday: Energy levels finally back up to something normal, don't feel as tired. Still bleeding dark red blood/brown discharge but it's minor. Ran some errands today, I figured gravity would cause me to bleed more but it's about the same as yesterday if not less.
If there's interest, I'll check in at maybe the 2 week and 4 week mark, or whenever I remember since this is my throwaway account.
Overall the LEEP was way better than the biopsy in my experience. Reddit had me freaking out. I know I'm lucky, and this post isn't to dismiss any terrible or painful experience other women have had. I want to share my 'positive' experience, since most of my mental state surrounding my diagnosis, fears, the upgrade from LSIL to HSIL, has been negative.
Oh and I did get insurance literally a week before my LEEP, thank God.
If you have any questions please feel free to ask them below!
TL;DR: -Colpo: easy -Biopsy: sucks. Most pain I've ever felt and felt nauseous/uneasy after. Ask your doctor if you can take ibuprofen prior to a biopsy. Monsel's solution/liquid bandaid came out in sac-like alien baby about 36 to 48 hours later. Was able to have intercourse 2-2.5 weeks post-biopsy. No insertion of anything for about 3 days after. -LEEP: easy-ish? 600 mg ibuprofen 1 hour before procedure. Anxiety inducing but once I was numbed with local anesthesia, I felt nothing except some mild cramping. The injection didn't hurt and caused no serious side effects. No smell. No excessive bleeding. Felt fine post-LEEP but did experience some bleeding. It's been less than a week so I'll update if anything spooky happens, if no updates then expect everything went fine. No intercourse/tampons/etc for 3 to 6 weeks.
Tips: -Prioritize self care throughout this experience especially. It'll help you stay calm and heal. -Dress comfy for procedures -Take some snacks and water to your appointments for post-procedure ick -Do your research. Knowledge is power even if it makes you uncomfortable. Youtube was a great resource for me, I like to see what's going to happen before it does. Just try not to get worked up like I did. -Ask questions. If a doctor makes you feel stupid, see another doctor if possible. -Have someone with you for support and to make sure you get home ok -If you experience fever, intense pain, soaking through pads, or notice any weird smell: GO TO A DOCTOR

I would rather be fat than pregnant FYI, neither are also "bad things", except, well pregnancy to me is.
Do you think it's possible to be pregnant and test negative all pee tests and bloodwork too?
I know t cannot affect the hcg production which is what pee and blood tests look like.
I think I'm just getting chunky but it is really centralized in my abdomen. It really feels like fat I think but it's hard to tell. Not many other areas are gaining fat yet but maybe it starts in my stomach. My chest isn't getting chunky due to liposuction during top surgery.
Here are some factors: - I'm on steroids all my life and accidentally have been maybe taking an extra dose or two as I've been forgetful. Holding onto more fat bc overmedicated? - I'm getting older. Fat rests in tummy more. - I've always had gi issues so can't tell if it is related to that - I've had protected vaginal sex with one man and unprotected anal sex with him as well so I am worried that sperm would be on his mouth or fingers and possibly enter me (and condoms are not 100 percent effective) - I've been on t ten years - my mom and twin sister both had major fertility issues (so maybe I'm not likely to be very pregnant)? - I notice fatigue but I'm always fatigued - no spotting, blood, no unusal nausea during the day, maybe slight loss of appetite but I think it's anxiety related - snowboarding season ended so less active - I'm tired but pretty positive I'm always tired - I smoke lots of weed
Any thoughts? I read a study that marijuana may raise hcg levels to cause the hook effect where so much hcg levels exist and then create a false negative for urine and blood.
But how likely is this really? I used to have unprotected vaginal sex with him many many years back and never worried about pregnancy (stupid me lol). So I'm probably just getting chunky and not pregnant. I just think I'd die if I was pregnant (though thankfully I am in a state that protects abortions).
Apologies for the word vomit, I am literally just so anxious about it and soonest I can see my primary doc is 10 days from now.
Just thoughts with any trans men or even women being pregnant or not getting positive tests but still feeling pregnant?

Sorry for the long vent - I am so desperately in need of support or solidarity right now from other fellow moms-to-be.
I’ve always wanted kids and have always looked forward to being pregnant. However, I didn’t think things would look like this. At 20 weeks I am no longer employed after I was terminated the day after requesting leave for HG (last month). The day after that, my amazingly supportive fiancé ended up going to jail (long story and it’s from an open case from 2021 before he got sober - please hold the judgement on this, I know how it sounds). He may or may not be out before the baby is born in October which is devastating because he so badly wants to be involved.
We now have no income from either of us and I’m still unable to work due to HG. I moved across the country to be with him last year and we were saving to move back to my state this summer where my family is, but it will be impossible for me to afford rent there on my own now and unfortunately staying with family isn’t an option. We were/I am living with his parents and they are supportive but I’m not close with them, have no real friends out here, and am so isolated basically bedbound vomiting all day. I don’t know where I am going to live with this baby until my fiancé comes home (whenever that will be), or how I will do it alone mentally and physically let alone financially. I’ve never been so stressed or scared in my life. I am even starting to wonder if this baby would be better off raised by someone else - I feel so ill equipped. I was so excited at first despite the surprise, but it feels like my life is slowly falling apart and all excitement has been replaced with stress and dread and constant tears.
I feel like I’m mourning the happiness and stability during pregnancy I thought I’d have - and it’s so hard not to compare. Anyone else feel like their circumstances are making it hard to get excited despite wanting this baby?

Hello, I am currently pregnant with my first baby. I was pregnant once before but it resulted in a very early miscarriage. So far, everything is going fine. Only things that have happened are when I was super early I was bleeding periodically. It’d be a lot one time then just spotting for the rest of the day/a couple days later. Each time I went to hospital to ensure all is well. And was. Except for the last time, I didn’t go because I didn’t want to have to pay another hospital bill for a false alarm. This coming Thursday I have an ultrasound as well as the genetic testing. Something is telling me everything is not okay. It’s also not helping that I keep seeing women that went for a 12-15 week check in and they were told their baby stopped growing 2 weeks prior, etc. I’m more so just ranting and my heart aches for those mothers. What is making it difficult for me too I think, is that I have not had any symptoms of pregnancy. No vomiting (which no offense to anyone but I’ll take it as a win), no food aversions, no cravings etc. the only thing is my breasts do hurt a lot. The other thing that terrifies me is that I am not in the greatest health. I was smoking 5-7 cigarettes a day as well as chiefing on my vape. My blood pressure is high. I take it myself at home and it will be 150/100 but at the docs office they say it’s normal which I know is not true. I have had hypertension my entire life, since I was 7-8. I am pretty overweight. I was 290 when I got pregnant (I had JUST lost 25 pounds right before becoming pregnant) and I am 320 already. I feel like I am not eating any more than I was, I’ve been trying to eat fruits/veggies. But I keep packing on weight. I also was taken off my medications when I found out I was pregnant(for bipolar and sleep) so I have been anxious and restless. I can’t help but to feel guilty especially if I do lose my baby. My boyfriend has been extremely supportive throughout everything so far. With the exception of a few (unrelated) arguments.
But to highlight the weight thing, if anyone has recepies or meals they enjoy during pregnancy please let me know. I’ve been trying to eat just chicken and veggies but I am getting tired of just chicken.
Thank you all for your time

I first started noticing that something was wrong around 3 months ago. At the time, I was working from home and would usually light a scented candle while I worked, which usually helped me relax and stay focused on my work. I would usually burn through a candle a week, but over time, the candles started to take less time to fully burn up. At first, I thought that this was because of a change in ingredients the company that made the candles used, but the problem persisted after I switched candle brands, which I once again blamed on the candle manufacturers.
I kept this belief for another week until the first incident. While getting up from my computer desk, which faces away from the candle, to take a quick bathroom break, I caught a glimpse of the lit candle. A two-inch layer of molten wax rested on another three-inch layer of solid wax, the wicks rising out at first and being somewhat visible through the molten layer, finally breaking the surface and being slowly burned away. The flames flickered as I swung the door open and walked out of the room. When I returned 10 minutes later, the molten layer was gone, and the wicks had been shortened so that the flames rested right above the solid layer of the wax. At first, I thought that the glass jar that contained the candle was leaking, but after a short inspection, I was only able to find two small drops of candle wax that had solidified right next to the candle on the bedside table. I still had 2 hours of work left to do, but I was too lost in thought and was unable to do any work for the rest of the day.
Every night before I go to sleep, I like to read for at least 30 minutes, and while reading, I usually light a candle. Around 4 days later, I had mostly forgotten about the incident and went back to using candles. Due to my naivety, it returned.
I fell asleep while reading with a candle lit on my bedside table. I woke up to loud slurping noises. As I opened my eyes, the brightness of the light I had not turned off almost blinded me. As my eyes tried to readjust to the light and focus on what was in front of me, I saw a somewhat humanoid dark gray to light blue blur that contrasted with the white paint on the walls behind it. Another gray line stretched from the shape's head to the candle on my bedside table. I could feel my heart skip five consecutive beats. I opened my mouth and tried to force out a scream for help, but the pressure I applied to my throat was way beyond what it was able to handle, leading me to only produce a light wheezing sound. I tried to sit up or to at least prop myself up, but my muscles failed me. Trying to push myself up with my arms felt impossible. As I stared at the figure that had suddenly appeared in my room, my eyes finally managed to focus, making it possible for me to see the intruder who was now staring at me. The figure was a man at least 7 feet tall, fully naked; he looked bloated; his eyes were bloodshot and looked like they would pop out of their sockets; at any point, his skin was a grayish light blue.
HIS LIPS
His lips extended from his mouth like an elephant's trunk, which had been split in half. The lips extended from the man's face to the candle; the flames had been put out. He was using his lips as a makeshift straw, slowly sucking up all the molten wax from the candle, which had fully liquified while I was asleep. I laid in bed, unable to move, unable to scream for help, staring until he emptied the jar. His lips retracted back to his face, the molten wax solidifying on their tips and cracking, flakes of wax falling off the man's lips and falling to the floor. The man grinned, staring at me. The ridges and gaps between the teeth were filled in with wax, making it impossible to make out where one tooth ended and the next one began. The man opened the door he was standing next to, but instead of walking out of the room, he stepped behind it. His face peered at me from above the door, and then once again, like he had done to drink the wax, the man puckered his lips, which stretched from his mouth and floated to me. I shook and tried to roll over away from him. I wanted to get up and run, but my fear had taken over my body. Tears flowed from my eyes. He kissed me on the cheek, leaving flakes of wax and light moisture. He retracted his lips and lowered his head behind the door.
I don't remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, I saw the empty glass jar, which at one point contained the candle. Even though I had hoped that what had happened was a dream, it wasn't. I still had flakes of wax on my cheek, and on my bedroom floor, the wax in the jar had disappeared. I called the police, but they were unable to find anyone in my apartment; they also could not find any evidence of a break-in.
After the break-in, I started looking for a new apartment to move to, thinking that the man was tied to the building I was in, but even though I had thrown out all of my candles, I could not stomach spending another hour in my apartment, constantly looking over my shoulder or walking around with my back pressed up against the wall to not allow it to creep up on me. Thankfully, my friend Emma was able to let me stay over at her apartment while I looked for a new one for myself.
Me and Emma have been friends since we were 8, and we've been there to support each other when times get rough. This isn’t the first time I've had to stay over at her house for an extended amount of time; in fact, I have had to stay over at Emma’s as many times as she has had to stay over at my apartment, whether it was because of evictions after losing a job, breakups, or a candle wax drinking squatter. I didn't even know if it was human. I mean, sure, it looked like one, but human lips are not supposed to do what his did, and somehow it didn't have a reaction to molten wax being poured down its esophagus. I didn't tell Emma about what happened—the details at least—I just told her that a man had broken into my house and was watching me sleep. The only people I told the truth to were my therapist and the cops, and all of them disregarded what I told them as my mind making things up after a traumatic event.
For a while, I believed what they said—I mean, why wouldn’t I?—but then I started seeing him again. For a few days, I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me again like it had done during the night of the incident. For split seconds out of the corner of my eye, I would see the outline of a tall, bloated figure. At first, they were hours apart, but after a while, it became constant. He was standing in each room I passed, in every single dark corner I glanced past, and then he spoke.
“FeeD MeEeee”
It stood in the kitchen, peering over from a small gap between the fridge and the sink, where the trash can that had been knocked over onto its side usually stood. His voice was raspy, and every word that came out of his mouth was distorted as if he were gargling water, but still, I could somehow clearly make out each word he said from over 15 feet away.
“Please just leave me alone I… why are you following me?”
I shouted at the figure, the same fear that had taken over my body during the night I saw him for the first time paralyzing me, making it impossible for me to move anything other than my eyes, eyelids, and mouth.
“i’M sTarviNg, I nEEd You To FeEd ME”
It replied again. Now, stepping out from behind the fridge, he stepped directly onto a rotten banana. Its mushy brown content’s seeping out of the peel under the pressure of his decomposing foot, which was covered in scabs, and took up the same grayish light blue color as the rest of his body. He mostly looked the same; his bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets, but now his tongue was swollen. It peeked out from between his bloated, cracked gray lips; it stared at me, waiting for an answer.
“Ok, I’ll.. I’ll feed you, but please just... leave me alone.”
I replied, the tone of my voice shifting into high-pitched squeals with every quick breath I took. He looked satisfied by my response. He somehow squeezed his bloated body back into the gap that was at least four times smaller than him. After peering over at me from above the fridge, he bent over backwards, his spine releasing a series of sickening cracks until he was fully obscured by the fridge, and then he vanished.
Still barely in control of my body, I limped over to the couch tucked away in the back corner of the living room, it took me at least 10 minutes to steady my breathing and 20 more to fully regain control of my body again but as soon as I did I ran out the house and to the nearest store, during the 15-minute walk he stared at me through dark windows and the backs of cars, peered out at me from gaps between leaves in the trees and bushes, he even followed me into the store staring at me from the middle of deserted isles before disappearing right before my eyes were able to fully catch him, once I finally got the candles I randomly picked four off of the shelves and rushed to the self checkout.
When I arrived home, I had 2 hours before Emma got off work. I didn't want to feed it while she was home, and I didn't want her to see it. I pulled out two of the candles from the black plastic bag and placed them on the kitchen table, the first a light blue candle named “Garden Rain” and the second a red candle named “Juicy Watermelon." I pulled out a lighter from one of the drawers Emma used after her stove stopped lighting on its own and lit each of the 6 wicks on the candles. As soon as I started seeing the wax melt under the heat of the burning wicks, I dropped the lighter onto the table next to the candles and ran out of the room. I could not stomach seeing that thing again; even just thinking about it made me shudder and hyperventilate. The paralyzing fear that seeing him caused me made me want to vomit.
At least 30 minutes later I started to hear it drink even though the living room and kitchen were separated by a wall, even though I had closed the door I could still hear what at first started as slurping sounds which were followed up by loud gulps, then it stopped, and once again 30 minutes later it started drinking, as the slurping started once again I heard the door to the apartment crack open, it was Emma, as she stepped through the door I saw her carrying two large brown paper bags of groceries in her hands, she was headed to the kitchen.
“Hey let me grab those for you”
I said running over to her, my voice shaking.
“Oh, thanks. Are you… okay, you look scared?”
My eyes shot wide open in a mixture of fear and surprise. I said the first thing that came to mind.
“Yeah just umm… I didn't expect you to come home so early and I got a bit spooked”
“shit sorry, I know I should have called you, work let me off early today,”
I started to turn away from her walking to the kitchen.
Trying to keep her away from the kitchen I told her to wait for me in the living room because I wanted to talk to her about something. I didn't know what I would talk to her about but that was a problem for future me to resolve, somehow it worked.
“What's that sound?”
She called out to me while walking towards the living room couch. It took me a few seconds to come up with an excuse.
“I think it’s the sink, or the pipes at least”
I opened the door to the kitchen with my eyes closed at first hesitant to look knowing what would be greeting me. slowly prying my eyes open I started to see its outline, my muscles started to lose strength as the details of the man came into my view, I felt the grocery bags start to slip from my arms, my knees buckled, face first I fell onto the kitchen floor scattering the groceries all over the floor, I mixture of a light scream and a yelp escaped from my mouth as my body made contact with the floor, Emma concerned for my safety ran into the kitchen, she didn't scream, using all of the strength and mobility I had left in my muscles I rolled over expecting to see her face drenched in terror, her body frozen still unable to move just like my body had done the first time that I saw him, but Emma looked concerned, the man was gone, she crouched down beside me.
“Oh my god are you ok? What happened?”
I looked around observing my surroundings.
“I um… I… I tripped on the little thing at the bottom of the doorframe”
I finally managed to blurt out another excuse, not being able to remember what the name of a door sill was. I started to sit up using a part of the energy that had returned to my body, pain pulsed through my chest and arms, Emma looked at me with a concerned face.
“You've been acting really weird since I got home, are you sure you're ok?”
“Yeah… I think I’m just having one of those days you know”
The confusion on Emma’s face said that she didn’t know and to be honest I didn't either, I guess my luck of pulling random excuses out of my ass ran out, Emma thought that she triggered some sort of PTSD response after barging into the house unannounced at first apologizing then trying to change the subject to stop my trembling which I was still unsuccessfully trying to hide from her.
“Did you buy candles?”
Emma asked picking the groceries apart from the garbage that spilled out the can that the man had knocked over, placing them on the table next to the now half-empty glass jars, the flames flickered above the inch or so of molten wax the man was unable to finish drinking.
“Yeah I’ve been struggling with work lately, they usually help me focus”
“Huh Interesting combination you’ve got going on here”
She looked at me and smiled slightly, I smiled back and chuckled to seem normal.
“Yeah even I don't know what I was trying to accomplish here, to be honest”
I tried to help Emma clean up the spilled groceries but she did not let me, she told me that I needed to recover like I had been in a car crash instead of having taken a little tumble. After a few seconds of silence, Emma spoke again.
“Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?”
A quick jolt of stress shot through my body, in a jumbled mess of lies and fear I had forgotten what I had told Emma, I sat there in silence for a few seconds unable to come up with an excuse
“I…umm… I don’t remember, it wasn't anything serious though”
“Damn did you hit your head too?”
She said once again proudly smiling at her joke.
At this point Emma picked up the last bag of potato chips from the floor and placed it on the table, then she opened the fridge and started loading the groceries into it.
“Anyway I gotta go get back to work’’
I blurted out after a few more seconds of awkward silence.
“Alright well good luck”
I walked over into the living room and sat down in front of my workstation, which now consisted of a laptop sitting on a small foldable TV tray that had just barely enough room left on it to fit a small USB mouse.
The last thing I remember, before I fell asleep, was me mindlessly scrolling through apartment listings while Emma watched a random 90’s horror movie I’m positive only had a budget of $500.
I woke up with a light stinging pain shooting through my dry throat, and a dim hissing sound caused by thousands of water drops striking the ground outside filled the room. I pressed the spacebar on my laptop, the brightness of the screen blinding me temporarily, after taking a few seconds to let my eyes readjust I managed to make out the time, 3:45 AM. A strong smell I was unable to make out the origin of assaulted my nostrils. Lavender.
The smell hitting my nose had the same effect on me that I would expect smelling salts would have on a weightlifter right before they set a world record. Before I knew it my legs were moving on their own at an almost uncontrollable pace, fighting back against my mind which was telling them to slow down after years of being used to navigating both mine and Emma’s apartment as steadily as possible to not bother the neighbors.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity I stood before Emma’s bedroom door, a faint, yellow, pulsating light radiated from a lamp and snuck out of a small gap between the door and the doorframe, reluctantly I pushed my left hand up against the door, my right hand grasping onto the door frame for a sense of stability, once the door was fully agape I scanned the inside of the room my heart skipping a beat for every humanoid shadow cast up onto the wall by the lights from the wicks which were set ablaze and were being slowly burnt away.
I walked into Emma’s room and made my way over to her bedside table to put out the candle, as I stepped closer towards her, her face became more defined, I could finally make out her features, she was awake, but no she could not have been, even though her eyes were wide open they never blinked, she didn't even move slightly, as I moved closer I finally managed to fully make out the expression of pure terror on her face, her mouth wide agape as if she was about to release a deafening screach, but she could not have, a single drop of solidified wax dribbled out of the corner of her mouth and clung to her cheek, my eyes traced the cream colored path back towards her mouth, first up her cheek then between the corner of her mouth and finally behind her teeth, there instead of her tongue or the roof of her mouth I saw a wall of wax which had filled in the entirety of her mouth.
I fell to my knees and hunched forward supporting my body weight with my arms, I was too late, I resisted the urge to vomit and got back up onto my feet, a mixture of tears and snot slid down my face and onto my lips, shaking now I slowly started limping over towards my phone which I had left on the couch next to where I had awoken just minutes before, just minutes before my life was destroyed because of my lies if I had just told Emma what I had gone through, if I had just told her what had happened on the night of the incident which now seemed trivial, even if she thought that I was crazy, I know that she would have complied just to make me feel comfortable.
It took me at least 30 seconds of repeated attempts to stabilize my hands enough to properly dial 911. “Someone broke into my apartment and hurt my friend” was the only reasonable explanation I could come up with that would not get the operator to hang up on me thinking that this was a prank call.
I sat there in the living room for an agonizing 10 minutes, crying, my sadness slowly transformed into anger towards myself, and my mind raced thinking of all the lies I’d told, I kept thinking that if I had just told her the truth she would not have been laying there in her bed, her body bloated, “every single orifice has signs of forced penetration and has been filled with what seems to be candle wax” is what was written on her autopsy report.
For a few days I was the main suspect in Emma’s murder, but due to the almost unstoppable crying and the unresponsive state that I was in when the police arrived, mixed with the lack of evidence of me having a way to produce 30 pounds of candle wax led to me being released out of police custody, but because I was the main suspect I was not told any details about what had fully happened to Emma, for days all I had to work off of was the image of her face frozen in terror, and a short glance I caught of her bloated body as she was being carted out on a stretcher.
I recounted every single word of our last conversations over and over again until they became permanently etched into my brain.
Emma’s parents originally wanted to cremate her, as that is what she had somewhat jokingly asked for whenever the topic of funerals came up, well she had joked about wanting to have had unpopped popcorn shoved down her throat before she was sent off to “scare the shit out of the guy cremating me” but due to all the wax which would have been impossible to get out of her body they were forced to bury her.
A few days before Emma’s funeral her body disappeared.
After Emma’s death, her parents took me into their home, after reading the autopsy reports and seeing her corpse they had thrown out every single candle they owned which made their home the safest choice I had, still, this did not stop me from buying a machete and keeping it under my bed, just in case.
I was laying on the bed in their guest bedroom The day that the police informed Emma’s parents about her disappearance, the bedroom is right above the front porch of the house, at first I heard them ring the doorbell which was followed up by 3 powerful knocks on the door, for about a minute I laid there on the bed listening to muffled voices exchanging distorted words I was barely able to make out which slowly transformed into distorted weeps, curious I lifted myself up from the bed, made my way over to the window and carefully lifted the bottom panel making Shure to not make too much noise, the distorted muffled sounds started forming into coherent words “We checked the security footage but the only strange thing we could see was a 5 second time jump” one of the officers spoke in a serious and almost monotone voice “which meant that the security guard who was the only person in the building had to climb down 2 flights of stairs walk through a 40 foot long hallway and then drag her body back up stairs and out of the building in 5 seconds” Emma’s mom let out yelp “ but don’t worry ma'am that’s actually good news because we know that her corpse is still somewhere within the building and was probably brought to the wrong floor by an intern, we’ve already warned all of the staff at the hospital to keep an eye out, and we also sent 5 officers to search the hospital”
I could not believe what I was hearing, my breathing quickened, but this time instead of fear I felt anger, that fucker stole her corpse and was probably in the weird separate plane of existence he always went back to after terrorizing me, cutting off chunks of her body, melting her, and drinking her.
I closed the window Emma’s mom's cries once again turned into a muffled rumble which was only possible to make out if you knew what to look for, I took a few steps back away from the window planning to lay back down, not wanting to bother Emma’s parents. I bumped into something, not something, someone, its fleshy towering form as solid as a wall sent me tumbling forward, I knew it was him, he had returned to take me too, to stretch his swollen cracked lips, push them down my esophagus, fill my lungs and stomach with wax. But despite all of that this time I was not scared, I was angry, and I was not going to stand there in terror like I had the last time I saw him.
I fell forward onto my knees my face missing the window sill just by mere inches, I put my hands onto the floor, lifted one of my knees, and rotated 180 degrees now facing the monster, to the right of him pushed up against the wall was the bed, light from the sun reflected off of the metallic button which kept my machete in it’s sheathe, the man started to stretch his lips, they were moving towards me, waving a wiggling through the air like a snake slithering towards me.
I dove towards the bed one of my feet pushing off of the floor and the other pushing against the wall which creaked under the pressure applied to it, I flew for a few moments before slamming down onto the carpet and sliding forward, the heat generated by my skin brushing against the carpet released a sharp stinging pain throughout my body, my outstretched arm landed just a few inches short of the machete, I quickly bent my arms, pushing my body up and crawled towards the machete. my fingers wrapped around the handle I spun around, my back pushed up against the bedside table, once again facing the man, he was still facing the window but his lips faced me and were just a few feet away from me, for what felt like minutes but was most likely no longer than a second, I struggled to hook my finger under the strap securing the machete into its sheath, as the lips inched towards me the man started producing gurgling noises, he was regurgitation wax.
I finally pulled the machete out of its sheath, I swung the blade at the man's lips, the blade was not met with any resistance as it sliced through the man’s lips which landed on the carpeted floor with an audible thud, the man did not have a physical reaction to my counter-attack, his lips kept creeping towards me, once again I slashed at the lips, still no reaction, I repeated this at least 3 more times.
I wanted to kill him, I wanted to take revenge for what he had done to Emma, but fighting back was pointless. I realized that no matter how much I tried to hurt it, I could not kill him, I could not get rid of him.
My rage dissipated and a mixture of fear and sadness crept in, and soon took over my body, I screamed for help, I screamed in fear, in agony, tears streamed down my face as the man's lips finally reached my face, he wasn’t met with any resistance as his lips snuck between mine, pried my jaw open and finally started to slide down my esophagus.
I heard the cops run up the stairs, they started banging on the door asking if I was okay only to have been met with muffled screams, hot wax started to pour down inside of me, the stinging pain of the heat made me want to plunge the machete which I had dropped onto the ground next to me into my stomach to create a gaping wound that the wax would hopefully funnel out of, the texture of the man's slippery, oily lips matched with the poison like flavor of the wax caused me to start gagging, I felt my insides bulging like at any moment my intestines would have been filled to the point where they would pop, I wanted to vomit, the drain myself of the filth I was filled with, but his lips had plugged my throat not allowing anything to get out.
Hearing my muffled screams the cops started kicking the door down, the man retracted his lips, the suction aided my attempts at cleansing my insides, I got onto my hands and knees streams of molten wax pouring out of me, solidifying on the the carpet, with another loud thud the door swung open slamming into the wall, the man was gone.
That’s the last thing I remember before I passed out, but according to one of the doctors who was in the ambulance that brought me to the hospital, I was still semi-responsive during the first 10 minutes of the ride to the hospital.
Approximately 13.4 pounds of wax were removed from my body, the doctors said that I was in a critical condition and some of them did not expect me to make it.
One of the officers who was there the day the man attacked me took a report of what had happened to me, due to the unmistakable evidence of what had happened to both me and Emma, and the fact that this was the 3rd instance of me reporting something like this the police finally started investigating who this man might have been.
Around a month later I was discharged from the hospital and once again have been staying in the living room of Emma’s parent's house.
I’ve been seeing the man again, candles were not allowed in the hospital I stayed at, which means that he’s probably very hungry, he’s close to attacking me again, I know it, he wants to finish what he started and I don't know if I have the power to fight back, I’m not sure if defeating him is even possible, I’m tired.
I’ve been seeing Emma too, her bloated, reanimated corpse often appears to be standing next to the man. If I let him take me will I get to join them? I’ve tried asking but they don’t answer, they just stare, I can’t keep living in constant fear, always looking over my shoulder, I miss Emma.

Symptoms of cmpa or normal baby?
Almost 6 weeks old. Symptoms..
trouble passing gas/pooping. This takes up 90% of his life unfortunately. Sometimes cries but mostly uncomfortable and pushing and straining.
Unlatching and crying during breastfeeding. I believe this is due to gas as feeding makes it sorta happen. he arches back and cries , or sometimes just unlatches makes a concentrated face and farts but always ends up crying.
Occasional green poo, slightly mucusy like little bit of a sticky stringy texture but mostly normal I think. normally yellow or dark yellow.
Baby acne, however I noticed little spots on ears and head that seem to go away and come back.
Reflux, sometimes after a feed he vomits quite a lot, sometimes just milk sometimes curds, ovcasionally he doesn’t vomit at all but seems very uncomfortable and gets a wet sound kinda know it’s coming and choking sound when flat on back
Hiccups, pretty regularly gets the hiccups
Hates being on back suddenly , lots of contact naps
He cries but not excessively , usually seems to be because he’s having gas pain.
Went and saw an osteopath she thinks milk protein allergy, said if his guts sorted out he would be the chillest baby ever, cue I don’t think he really cries for much more than gut pains
I’m struggling with cutting out dairy and soy. we had 24 hours the other day he started smiling didn’t cry was very happy and now we are back to uncomfortable and it’s very disheartening
I have 6 week checkup in 2 days, talked to mhn and she wasn’t worried she believes he just needs to grow and handle my fast flow.

Symptoms of cmpa or normal baby?
Almost 6 weeks old. Symptoms..
trouble passing gas/pooping. This takes up 90% of his life unfortunately. Sometimes cries but mostly uncomfortable and pushing and straining.
Unlatching and crying during breastfeeding. I believe this is due to gas as feeding makes it sorta happen. he arches back and cries , or sometimes just unlatches makes a concentrated face and farts but always ends up crying.
Occasional green poo, slightly mucusy like little bit of a sticky stringy texture but mostly normal I think. normally yellow or dark yellow.
Baby acne, however I noticed little spots on ears and head that seem to go away and come back.
Reflux, sometimes after a feed he vomits quite a lot, sometimes just milk sometimes curds, ovcasionally he doesn’t vomit at all but seems very uncomfortable and gets a wet sound kinda know it’s coming and choking sound when flat on back
Hiccups, pretty regularly gets the hiccups
Hates being on back suddenly , lots of contact naps
He cries but not excessively , usually seems to be because he’s having gas pain.
Went and saw an osteopath she thinks milk protein allergy, said if his guts sorted out he would be the chillest baby ever, cue I don’t think he really cries for much more than gut pains
I’m struggling with cutting out dairy and soy. we had 24 hours the other day he started smiling didn’t cry was very happy and now we are back to uncomfortable and it’s very disheartening
I have 6 week checkup in 2 days, talked to mhn and she wasn’t worried she believes he just needs to grow and handle my fast flow.

Almost 6 weeks old. Symptoms..
trouble passing gas/pooping. This takes up 90% of his life unfortunately. Sometimes cries but mostly uncomfortable and pushing and straining.
Unlatching and crying during breastfeeding. I believe this is due to gas as feeding makes it sorta happen. he arches back and cries , or sometimes just unlatches makes a concentrated face and farts but always ends up crying.
Occasional green poo, slightly mucusy like little bit of a sticky stringy texture but mostly normal I think. normally yellow or dark yellow.
Baby acne, however I noticed little spots on ears and head that seem to go away and come back.
Reflux, sometimes after a feed he vomits quite a lot, sometimes just milk sometimes curds, ovcasionally he doesn’t vomit at all but seems very uncomfortable and gets a wet sound kinda know it’s coming and choking sound when flat on back
Hiccups, pretty regularly gets the hiccups
Hates being on back suddenly , lots of contact naps
He cries but not excessively , usually seems to be because he’s having gas pain.
Went and saw an osteopath she thinks milk protein allergy, said if his guts sorted out he would be the chillest baby ever, cue I don’t think he really cries for much more than gut pains
I’m struggling with cutting out dairy and soy. we had 24 hours the other day he started smiling didn’t cry was very happy and now we are back to uncomfortable and it’s very disheartening
I have 6 week checkup in 2 days, talked to mhn and she wasn’t worried she believes he just needs to grow and handle my fast flow.

Hey guys! Just wanted to come on here and say this subreddit community really prepped me for my procedure. Thank you all for sharing your experience. Thought it will only be fair to share my experience too. I just carried out a MA , 5 weeks on the dot. I got pregnant by a guy I ended things with because I found out he was a hidden misogynist. 2 weeks after I ended it found out I was pregnant, immediately knew I wasn’t keeping it. I told him but wish I didn’t as he made me feel bad for “murdering a baby” and tried to persuade me to keep it. He couldn’t get it into his head that I didn’t want to be with him. Anyways I immediately called the sexual health clinic in my city and got booked for an appointment 4 days after. During this 4 days the research was heavy (I’m a pharmacist so I was hyper aware) I was given 2 types of medication mifepristone (stops the production of progesterone) I believe and Misoprostol which causes the contractions to expel the cells and tissues of the conception.
I was very anxious on the day as I do not tolerate pain too well and my friend who had done it before had quite a bad experience. I took the 1st tablet 48hrs prior and luckily no side effects. On the day of misoprostol I went to my friend’s apartment, I wasn’t doing this at home with my mum lol. Took some pain killers I was provided 30 min prior and then inserted 4 misoprostol into my vagina, immediately got an hot water bottle and laid down (I also got high which I won’t recommend as I felt it heightened the pain). An hour in , the cramps started, I was hot. I literally stripped away my pjs. I had the urge to poop so I got up but nothing. I sat on the toilet for about 15 min I felt horrible but nothing so I went back to bed. I also had on those incontinence pull up panties! They are amazing! I went back to bed and the cramps got to a level 8/10 pheeewww! It was painful. 1hr30 min in and the bleeding started , lightly first. 2 hours in I felt an urge to push . As I did I felt a massive clot moving down me I got up again and went to the bathroom and plop it came out of me, was that the foetus? I thought to myself as I flushed it down the drain.
We are now 2.5 hours in, the pain has now dropped to a 4/10. I’m starving (first time in 5 weeks) so I make a quick snack. The worst is over I thought to myself. I laid back down and fell asleep. The bleeding was now heavy. 4hours in my alarm went off . I took some more cocodamol and stuck the last two pills in between my gums and cheek. It took about 30 min to dissolve and I rinsed and swallowed the residue with water.
4.5 hours in the cramps heightened again. 6/10 this time. Hot water bottles refilled, another blood clot came out of me , I changed my pull ups. And I genuinely slept for another 4 hours (I guess getting high helped with that) so I didn’t feel the cramps. When I woke up we are about 8/9hours in and cramping has gone down to a 3/10. My appetite is back ( I had lost it during the 5 weeks of pregnancy) I feel like myself first time in forever. I got up, plop another clot “was that the foetus?” I thought again.
I made myself a big fat burger refilled my hot water bottle and decided to make this post on Reddit. I’m currently sitting at the dining table. Hot water bottle on my stomach. Cramping very mildly and bleeding very lightly. I really hope it was a successful procedure. Also I didn’t have any nausea or vomitting which I was shocked about as I was nauseous af for the whole pregnancy. I also hope I don’t bleed for too long now as I’m an active girl (gym and basketball) and I want to get back into them soon after.
Hope this thread helped someone 🩷 I’ll keep you updated in 2 weeks times