Hey guys, I just got an old Thinkpad T41 from my office’s recycle. I am trying to boot puppy os from a usb stick. I get an error saying I have to “forcepae” to launch. From my research it looks like the pentium M supports pae but still flags it for some reason. I am brand new to Linux and I have no idea how to edit the kernel to force pae. Could someone tell me exactly what to do? I can get to the GRUB command line.. now what? Like I might need exact quotes on what to type haha. Thanks for the read and please provide any advice/instructions you have. Thanks!

Here is my current build:

• NZXT Kraken X63: RL-KRX63-01
• ASRock B550 Phantom Gaming 4: BM-B550PG4-ARA
• NVIDIA GEFORCE RTX™ 3060 - MSI VENTUS 2X OC: BG-3060C12-MS0
• AMD Ryzen 9 5950x 16-Core
• XPG Core Reactor 750W Gold: BP-0750GM0-XG0
• 2 x Team T-FORCE XTREEM ARGB 4000 MHz 32GB (2 X 8 GB): BR-4000161-TFR

My bios is up to date, I have enabled XMP in BIOS, and cleared the CMOS. I have tried changing the speed to 4000Mhz and down in increments until ending back at 2400Mhz with XMP enabled AND disabled. I have also tried changing the voltage from the default to 1.35. I have not tried 1.40 as some have recommended on other threads.
Any of these changes have not made a difference. Task manager and NZXT CAM still shows that my speed is 2400Mhz, even if my BIOS says otherwise. I am wondering if my motherboard and RAM are fully compatible. It would be a shame if not as this is an older NZXT prebuilt, minus the 5950x which I have recently put in.
Just wanted to see what my next steps are for troubleshooting and if there is a specific way to tweak my speeds to get the max performance out of this RAM. Or if I should spend some money on new RAM. Let me know if any other information is needed. I will be home from work in a couple hours and can troubleshoot and update later. Thanks!

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/cg1p8marcoxnt93s_igs_rep_page/
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Agents of Mayhem
Alien Spidy
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A Juggler's Tale
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Almost There: The Platformer
ALLTYNEX Second"
Alter Army"
Akka Arrh
American Fugitive
A Musical Story
Ancestors Legacy
Ancient Enemy
An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Anomaly Defenders
Anomaly: Warzone Earth
Aragami 2
Arboria
Arcade Spirits
Arena Renovation
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
Arma X
Arx Fatalis
Ary and the Secret of Seasons
Ascension to the Throne
Ashina: The Red Witch
Astronarch
Atari Vault
Attack of the Earthlings
Attractio
Automachef
Axiom Verge
Backbone
Back 4 Blood - Only for good offers
Band of Defenders"
Banners of Ruin
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Batman: Arkham Origins
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Battle vs Chess
BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
Belladonna
Beyond the Long Night
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Biped
Bizango Blast
Backfirewall
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BLADE ASSAULT
Blacksad: Under the Skin
Blitzkrieg Anthology
Blood Bowl 2
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Borderlands handsome collection
Bosorka
Bots Are Stupid
Bot Vice
Breakout: Recharged
Breathedge
Brunch Club
Broken Age
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Bunker Punks
Calico
Call of Cthulhu®: Dark Corners of the Earth
Call of Juarez
Caravan
Carmageddon max damage
Cats and the Other Lives
Caveblazers
Caverns of Mars: Recharged
Caveman World: Mountains of Unga Boonga
Centipede: Recharged
Chambers of Devious Design
Chess Ultra
Chicken Assassin: Reloaded
Children of Morta
CHAOS CODE -NEW SIGN OF CATASTROPHE-
Chaos on Deponia
Chariot
Circuit Breakers
City Siege: Faction Island
Close to the Sun
Clunky Hero
Colt Canyon
Constructor Classic 1997
Convoy
Conglomerate 451
Cookie Cutter
Cook Serve Delicious
Cook Serve Delicious! 3?!
Corridor Z
Cosmic Express
Craft Keep VR
Crazy Belts
Creeping Terror
Creepy Tale
Crewsaders
Crown Champion: Legends of the Arena
Crumble
CryoFall
CTU: Counter Terrorism Unit
Cubicle Quest
Cursed Sight
Cybarian: The Time Travelling Warrior
Darkest Dungeon
DARK FUTURE: BLOOD RED STATES
Dark Strokes The Legend of the Snow Kingdom Collectors Edition
Darkness Within 2: The Dark Lineage
Danger Scavenger
Day of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead Age 2
Dead by daylight
Dead End Job
Deadlight: Director's Cut
Dead Island Definitive Edition
Dead Space 3 Origin key
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
DESERT CHILD
DEATHRUN TV
Death Squared
Death to Spies: Moment of Truth
Degrees of Separation
Demon Pit
DESOLATE
Detached: Non-VR Edition
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Devil Daggers
Devil's Hunt
Devil May Cry 4 Special Edition
DIG - Deep In Galaxies
Dimension Drifter
Dirt Rally 2.0 - Only for good offers
DIRT SHOWDOWN
dirt 5 - Only for good offers
Distrust
Divide By Sheep
DmC Devil May Cry
Doodle Derby
DOOM (1993)
DOOM II
DOOM 64
Dorke and Ymp
Doorways: Holy Mountains of Flesh
Double
Double Dragon IV
Doughlings Arcade
Doughlings Invasion
Draw Slasher
Dreamscaper
DreamWorks Dragons: Legends of the Nine Realms
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Drink More Glurp
Dub Dash
Duke Nukem Forever
Dungeons 3
Dust to the End
DV: Rings of Saturn
Eagle Island
Elderand
Elven Legacy Collection
Endless Fables 3: Dark Moor
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
Escape Dead Island
Escape Game Fort Boyard
Escape from Naraka
Eternal Edge +
Eternity: The Last Unicorn
Etherlords I & II
Eventide 3: Legacy of Legends
Evergarden
Everhood
Exorder
eXperience 112
Explodemon
Extinction
Evoland
F1 2012 - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
f1 2019 Anniversary - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
Family Mysteries: Poisonous Promises
Fantasy Blacksmith
Farabel
Farming World
Farm Frenzy: Refreshed
Figment
Final Doom
Fire
Firegirl
FIRST CLASS TROUBLE
Flashing Lights Police Fire EMS
Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
Flying Tigers: Shadows Over China - Deluxe Edition
Fractured Minds
FRAMED COLLECTION
Freaking Meatbags
Frog Detective 2: The Case of the Invisible Wizard
FRONTIERS
Frick, Inc.
For the People
Formula Carr Racing
Funk of Titans
Furious Angels
Fury Unleashed
Gamedec
GameGuru
Game Dev Studio
Garbage
Gas Station Simulator
Generation Zero
GetsuFumaDen: Undying Moon
Ghost Files: The Face of Guilt
Ghost Files 2: Memory of a Crime
Ghost Files: The Face of Guilt
Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
Gigapocalypse
GOAT OF DUTY
God’s Trigger
Goetia
Go Home Dinosaurs
Godstrike
Going Under
Golden Light
Golfie
Golf Gang
Goodbye Deponia
Grand Mountain Adventure: Wonderlands
Grey Goo Definitive Edition
Grotto
Grid Ultimate Edition
Grim Legends 2: Song of the Dark Swan
Grim Legends: The Forsaken Bride
GRIP: Combat Racing
GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
Groundhog Day: Like Father Like Son
GTA VICE CITY - only for very good offers
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
Gunscape
Guns & Fishes
Guns of Icarus Alliance
Hacknet
Hack 'n' Slash
Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
Hauma - A Detective Noir Story
Headsnatchers
Hero of the Kingdom
Hero of the Kingdom III
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 1
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
Heroes of the Monkey Tavern
Heroes of Hellas 3: Athens
Heroes of Hellas Origins: Part One
HEAVEN'S VAULT
Hexologic
Hidden Memory - Neko's Life
Hidden Object 6in1 bundle
Hidden Object Bundle 5 in 1
Hidden Shapes - Trick or Cats
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hiveswap Friendsim
Hitman Absolution
Holiday Bonus GOLD
Holy Potatoes! A Weapon Shop?!
Homebrew - Patent Unknown
Homefront
Home Sweet Home
Home Sweet Home EP2
Horizon Shift
Hospital Tycoon
How 2 Escape
Hyperdrive Massacre
Hyperspace Invaders II: Pixel Edition
I am not a Monster: First Contact
ICBM
Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition
Impulsion
In Between
Innerspace
Inside My Radio
Internet Cafe Simulator
Interrogation: You will be deceived
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Into the Pit
Insurgency
In Other Waters
Iratus
Ironcast
Iron Commando - Koutetsu no Senshi
Iron Danger
Iron Lung
Iron Marines
Island Tribe
Izmir: An Independence Simulator
Jalopy
Jane Angel: Templar Mystery
Jewel Match Atlantis Solitaire - Collector's Edition
Jewel Match Solitaire 2 Collector's Edition
Jewel Match Solitaire L'Amour
Jewel Match Solitaire Winterscapes
Joggernauts
Just Cause 3
Just Die Already
Just Ignore Them
Kaichu - The Kaiju Dating Sim
Kao the Kangaroo (2000 re-release)
KarmaZoo
Kerbal Space Program
Killing Floor 2
Killer is Dead - Nightmare Edition
Kitaria Fables
Kingdom Rush
King Oddball
Knight's Retreat
Knightin'+
Koala Kids
Konung 2
Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure
Landlord's Super
Lamentum
Laser Disco Defenders
Last Oasis
Last Word
Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
Lego Marvel 2 Deluxe
LEVELHEAD
Lila’s Sky Ark
Livelock
Looking for Aliens
Looterkings
Lost Words: Beyond the Page
Lovecraft's Untold Stories + OST + Artbook
Lords and Villeins
Ludus
Lumberhill
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond - M Edition
Luxor 3
Machinika Museum
Mad Experiments: Escape Room
Mad Max
Mad Tracks
MageQuit
Magenta Horizon
Magrunner: Dark Pulse
MAIN ASSEMBLY
Mahjong
MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
Mask of the Rose
Mass Effect 2
Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Men of War: Assault Squad - Game of the Year Edition
Men of War: Red Tide
Meow Express
Metal Unit
Metro last light redux
Metro Redux Bundle
Micro Machines World Series
Middle-earth : Shadow of Mordor Goty
Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
Midnight Protocol
Mini Ninjas
Mini Thief
Minute of Islands
MirrorMoon EP
Mob Rule Classic
Modern Tales: Age of Invention
Moon Hunters
Monaco
Moss Destruction
MotoGP 15
MORKREDD
Mortal Kombat XL
Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate
Mount & blade
Mr. Run and Jump
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
My Big Sister
Nadia Was Here
NEON ABYSS
Nigate Tale
Nihilumbra
Nippon Marathon
NecroWorm
Neon Chrome
Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
Neverout
NEXT JUMP: Shmup Tactics
Ninjin: Clash of Carrots
Nobodies: Murder Cleaner
Noir Chronicles: City of Crime
Noitu Love 2: Devolution
Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
Northern Tale
Non-Stop Raiders
Now You See - A Hand Painted Horror Adventure
Old School Musical
Omen Exitio: Plague
Orbital Bullet
Orbital Racer
Oriental Empires
Orn the tiny forest sprite
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
Outcast - Second Contact
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Out of Space
OUT OF THE BOX
Overcooked
Overloop
Overlord
Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
Overture
Pang Adventures
Painkiller Hell & Damnation
Paperbark
Paper Beast - Folded Edition
Paper Fire Rookie
Paper Planet
Pathfinder: Kingmaker
Paradigm
Persian Nights 2: The Moonlight Veil
Pathfinder Wrath
Pathway
Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
Paw Paw Paw
PAYDAY 2
Peachleaf Pirates
Persian Nights: Sands of Wonders
Pickers
pillars of eternity
Pill Baby
Pirate Pop Plus
Pizza Express
Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
PixelJunk™ Monsters Ultimate + Shooter Bundle
Pixplode
Pixross
Planet TD
Plebby Quest: The Crusades
Planet Zoo
Police Stories
Post Master
Porcunipine
portal knights
Post Void
Prehistoric Tales
Primal Carnage: Extinction
pro cycling manager 2019
Project Chemistry
Professor Lupo: Ocean
Prophecy I - The Viking Child
Pushover
qomp
Quantum Replica
Quake 2
Rage in Peace
RAIDEN V: DIRECTOR'S CUT
Raining Blobs
Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan
Railway Empire
Radio Commander
Rebel Galaxy
Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
Rebel Inc
Recon Control
Red Faction
Red Faction®: Armageddon™
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
Red Line
Regency Solitaire
Regular Human Basketball
Regions of Ruin
Re-Legion
Retimed
Remnants of Naezith
Rencounter
Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood
Replica
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Resort Boss: Golf
Return to Mysterious Island
Reventure
REZ PLZ
Richard & Alice
Rise of Insanity
Risen
Rising Dusk
River City Girls
River City Melee Mach
ROAD 96
Road to Guangdong
Roads of Rome 3
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
RRRR
RUNOUT
Rym 9000
S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
Safety First!
Sanitarium
Satellite Reign
Satellite Rush
Savage Lands
Save Jesus
Say No! More
Scheming Through The Zombie Apocalypse: The Beginning
ScourgeBringer
Sea Horizon
Serial Cleaner
Sentience: The Android's Tale
SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Severed Steel
Shadowrun Returns
Shadows: Awakening
Shantae: Risky's Revenge - Director's Cut
SHENMUE III
Shing!
Shooting Stars!
Shoppe Keep
SHOPPE KEEP 2
Shutter 2
Shred! 2 - ft Sam Pilgrim
Sid Meier Civilization V
Sid Meier Civilization VI
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
sim city 4
Sir Whoopass™: Immortal Death
Sky Break
SKULLY
Slain: Back from Hell
Slinger VR
Smart Factory Tycoon
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
Songbird Symphony
SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
sonic all stars transformed collection
Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
Sonic Forces
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode II
Sorry, James
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Soulflow
SPACECOM
Space Robinson: Hardcore Roguelike Actio
Sparkle 2
SpeedRunners
Spidersaurs
Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
Spirit of the Isand
Splasher
Spooky Bonus
Spring Bonus
Stacking
Stalingrad
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
Starbound
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Star Wars Knights of the old Republic 2
Star Wars The Force Unleashed
Star Wolves
star trek bridge crew
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition - only for good offers
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Steamburg
Steel Rats
Stick it to The Man!
Stick Fight: The Game
Stikir
Stirring Abyss
Strikey Sisters
Stronghold Crusader 2
Slime-san
Strategic Mind: The Pacific
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Styx: Master of Shadows
SWAG AND SORCERY
Sudden Strike 4
Suffer The Night
Sunlight
Summer in Mara
Superhot VR
Super 3-D Noah's Ark
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Super Rude Bear Resurrection
Super Star Path
SurrounDead
Survivalist: Invisible Strain
Switchball HD
Sword of the Necromancer
Syberia 3
Symmetry
Syberia 3
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Talk to Strangers
tannenberg
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
Team Sonic Racing
tekken 7
Telefrag VR
TERRACOTTA
Tesla Force
Teslagrad Remastered
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Tharsis
The Adventure Pals
The Amazing American Circus
The Assembly
The Big Con
The Black Heart
The Coma 2: Vicious Sisters
The Crow's Eye
The Darkside Detective
The Deed
The Deed II
The Deed: Dynasty
The Dungeon Beneath
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
The Escapists
The Fan
The Final Station
The Flame in the Flood
The Free Ones - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
The Horror Of Salazar House
The Inner World
The Invisible Hand
The Last Crown: Midnight Horror
The Last Tinker: City of Colors
The Long Dark: Survival Edition
The Lost Crown
The Long Reach
The Knight Witch
The Magister
The Metronomicon - The Deluxe Edition
The Myth Seekers 2: The Sunken City
The Myth Seekers: The Legacy of Vulcan
The Next Penelope
The Oil Blue: Steam Legacy Edition
The Secret Order 5: The Buried Kingdom
The Secret Order 6: Bloodline
The Secret Order 7: Shadow Breach
The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf
The Spectrum Retreat
THE SWORDS OF DITTO: MORMO'S CURSEa
The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia
The Town of Light
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead – Season 1
The Walking Dead: 400 Days DLC
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Final Season
The Wild Eight
The Whispered World Special Edition
They Always Run
They Bleed Pixels
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
Through the Woods
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
Ticket to Ride
Tilt Brush
TIN CAN
Time on Frog Island
Time Loader
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
tiny & Tall: Gleipnir
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove
Toki
Tomb Raider GOTY Edition
Tom Clancy's The Division Uplay + Survival dlc
Total War: MEDIEVAL II Definitive Edition
Totally Reliable Delivery Service
Tower of Time
Total War: ROME II - Caesar in Gaul
TRUBERBROOK
Toybox Turbos
Toy Tinker Simulator
Tracks - The Train Set Game
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Trine 2: Complete Story
Trine 3
Trine 4
Tropico 4
Tunche
Tumblestone
Turmoil
Tyrant's Blessing
UFO: Afterlight
Ultimate Zombie Defense
Undead Horde
UNDETECTED
Unloved
Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
Unhack
Unloved
Unmemory
Unto The End
Valfaris
Vambrace: Cold Soul
Vampire of the Sands
Vampire: The Masquerade – Swansong
Vampire Survivors
VANE
Vanishing Realms
Velocity Ultra
Viking Saga New World
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Voidship: The Long Journey
walking dead the new frontier
WARBORN
WARHAMMER 40,000: GLADIUS - RELICS OF WAR
Warpips
War Solution - Casual Math Game
Wandersong
Wargroove
war tech fighters
Wasteland 2: Director s Cut - Classic Edition
Wayout
Wayout 2: Hex
Wayward Souls
We Are Alright
When In Rome
WHERE THE WATER TASTES LIKE WINE
White Night
White Noise 2
Witch it
Without Within 3
WizardChess
World Keepers Last Resort
World Ship Simulator
Worms Blast
Worms Crazy Golf
Worms Pinball
Worms Revolution
Worms Rumble
Wounded - The Beginning
Verdant Skies
XBlaze Code: Embryo
X-Com 2
XEL
XLarn
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
Xpand Rally
Yakuza Kiwami 2
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yesterday Origins"
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Yoku's Island Express
Yono and the Celestial Elephants
Yooka-Laylee
Zarya-1: Mystery on the Moon
Zombie Derby 2
Zombie Night Terror

7 Wonders: Magical Mystery Tour
7 Wonders: Treasures of Seven
12 is Better Than 6
911 Operator
A Blind Legend
Aarklash: Legacy
Acorn Assault: Rodent Revolution
Achtung! Cthulhu Tactics
Afterimage
Agatha Christie - The ABC Murders
Agent in Depth
age of wonders 3
Agents of Mayhem
Alien Spidy
AI War 2
A Juggler's Tale
Alchemist's Castle
Alchemy Garden
Almost There: The Platformer
ALLTYNEX Second"
Alter Army"
Akka Arrh
American Fugitive
A Musical Story
Ancestors Legacy
Ancient Enemy
An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Anomaly Defenders
Anomaly: Warzone Earth
Aragami 2
Arboria
Arcade Spirits
Arena Renovation
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
Arma X
Arx Fatalis
Ary and the Secret of Seasons
Ascension to the Throne
Ashina: The Red Witch
Astronarch
Atari Vault
Attack of the Earthlings
Attractio
Automachef
Axiom Verge
Backbone
Back 4 Blood - Only for good offers
Band of Defenders"
Banners of Ruin
Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
Batman: Arkham Origins
Battle Academy 2: Eastern Front
Battle vs Chess
BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
Belladonna
Beyond the Long Night
Bionic Commando: Rearmed
BioShock Infinite
Biped
Bizango Blast
Backfirewall
BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
BLADE ASSAULT
Blacksad: Under the Skin
Blitzkrieg Anthology
Blood Bowl 2
Borderlands Game of the Year Enhanced
Borderlands handsome collection
Bosorka
Bots Are Stupid
Bot Vice
Breakout: Recharged
Breathedge
Brunch Club
Broken Age
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Bunker Punks
Calico
Call of Cthulhu®: Dark Corners of the Earth
Call of Juarez
Caravan
Carmageddon max damage
Cats and the Other Lives
Caveblazers
Caverns of Mars: Recharged
Caveman World: Mountains of Unga Boonga
Centipede: Recharged
Chambers of Devious Design
Chess Ultra
Chicken Assassin: Reloaded
Children of Morta
CHAOS CODE -NEW SIGN OF CATASTROPHE-
Chaos on Deponia
Chariot
Circuit Breakers
City Siege: Faction Island
Close to the Sun
Clunky Hero
Colt Canyon
Constructor Classic 1997
Convoy
Conglomerate 451
Cookie Cutter
Cook Serve Delicious
Cook Serve Delicious! 3?!
Corridor Z
Cosmic Express
Craft Keep VR
Crazy Belts
Creeping Terror
Creepy Tale
Crewsaders
Crown Champion: Legends of the Arena
Crumble
CryoFall
CTU: Counter Terrorism Unit
Cubicle Quest
Cursed Sight
Cybarian: The Time Travelling Warrior
Darkest Dungeon
DARK FUTURE: BLOOD RED STATES
Dark Strokes The Legend of the Snow Kingdom Collectors Edition
Darkness Within 2: The Dark Lineage
Danger Scavenger
Day of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead Age 2
Dead by daylight
Dead End Job
Deadlight: Director's Cut
Dead Island Definitive Edition
Dead Space 3 Origin key
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
DESERT CHILD
DEATHRUN TV
Death Squared
Death to Spies: Moment of Truth
Degrees of Separation
Demon Pit
DESOLATE
Detached: Non-VR Edition
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Devil Daggers
Devil's Hunt
Devil May Cry 4 Special Edition
DIG - Deep In Galaxies
Dimension Drifter
Dirt Rally 2.0 - Only for good offers
DIRT SHOWDOWN
dirt 5 - Only for good offers
Distrust
Divide By Sheep
DmC Devil May Cry
Doodle Derby
DOOM (1993)
DOOM II
DOOM 64
Dorke and Ymp
Doorways: Holy Mountains of Flesh
Double
Double Dragon IV
Doughlings Arcade
Doughlings Invasion
Draw Slasher
Dreamscaper
DreamWorks Dragons: Legends of the Nine Realms
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Drink More Glurp
Dub Dash
Duke Nukem Forever
Dungeons 3
Dust to the End
DV: Rings of Saturn
Eagle Island
Elderand
Elven Legacy Collection
Endless Fables 3: Dark Moor
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
Escape Dead Island
Escape Game Fort Boyard
Escape from Naraka
Eternal Edge +
Eternity: The Last Unicorn
Etherlords I & II
Eventide 3: Legacy of Legends
Evergarden
Everhood
Exorder
eXperience 112
Explodemon
Extinction
Evoland
F1 2012 - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
f1 2019 Anniversary - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
Family Mysteries: Poisonous Promises
Fantasy Blacksmith
Farabel
Farming World
Farm Frenzy: Refreshed
Figment
Final Doom
Fire
Firegirl
FIRST CLASS TROUBLE
Flashing Lights Police Fire EMS
Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
Flying Tigers: Shadows Over China - Deluxe Edition
Fractured Minds
FRAMED COLLECTION
Freaking Meatbags
Frog Detective 2: The Case of the Invisible Wizard
FRONTIERS
Frick, Inc.
For the People
Formula Carr Racing
Funk of Titans
Furious Angels
Fury Unleashed
Gamedec
GameGuru
Game Dev Studio
Garbage
Gas Station Simulator
Generation Zero
GetsuFumaDen: Undying Moon
Ghost Files: The Face of Guilt
Ghost Files 2: Memory of a Crime
Ghost Files: The Face of Guilt
Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
Gigapocalypse
GOAT OF DUTY
God’s Trigger
Goetia
Go Home Dinosaurs
Godstrike
Going Under
Golden Light
Golfie
Golf Gang
Goodbye Deponia
Grand Mountain Adventure: Wonderlands
Grey Goo Definitive Edition
Grotto
Grid Ultimate Edition
Grim Legends 2: Song of the Dark Swan
Grim Legends: The Forsaken Bride
GRIP: Combat Racing
GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
Groundhog Day: Like Father Like Son
GTA VICE CITY - only for very good offers
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
Gunscape
Guns & Fishes
Guns of Icarus Alliance
Hacknet
Hack 'n' Slash
Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
Hauma - A Detective Noir Story
Headsnatchers
Hero of the Kingdom
Hero of the Kingdom III
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 1
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
Heroes of the Monkey Tavern
Heroes of Hellas 3: Athens
Heroes of Hellas Origins: Part One
HEAVEN'S VAULT
Hexologic
Hidden Memory - Neko's Life
Hidden Object 6in1 bundle
Hidden Object Bundle 5 in 1
Hidden Shapes - Trick or Cats
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hiveswap Friendsim
Hitman Absolution
Holiday Bonus GOLD
Holy Potatoes! A Weapon Shop?!
Homebrew - Patent Unknown
Homefront
Home Sweet Home
Home Sweet Home EP2
Horizon Shift
Hospital Tycoon
How 2 Escape
Hyperdrive Massacre
Hyperspace Invaders II: Pixel Edition
I am not a Monster: First Contact
ICBM
Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition
Impulsion
In Between
Innerspace
Inside My Radio
Internet Cafe Simulator
Interrogation: You will be deceived
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Into the Pit
Insurgency
In Other Waters
Iratus
Ironcast
Iron Commando - Koutetsu no Senshi
Iron Danger
Iron Lung
Iron Marines
Island Tribe
Izmir: An Independence Simulator
Jalopy
Jane Angel: Templar Mystery
Jewel Match Atlantis Solitaire - Collector's Edition
Jewel Match Solitaire 2 Collector's Edition
Jewel Match Solitaire L'Amour
Jewel Match Solitaire Winterscapes
Joggernauts
Just Cause 3
Just Die Already
Just Ignore Them
Kaichu - The Kaiju Dating Sim
Kao the Kangaroo (2000 re-release)
KarmaZoo
Kerbal Space Program
Killing Floor 2
Killer is Dead - Nightmare Edition
Kitaria Fables
Kingdom Rush
King Oddball
Knight's Retreat
Knightin'+
Koala Kids
Konung 2
Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure
Landlord's Super
Lamentum
Laser Disco Defenders
Last Oasis
Last Word
Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
Lego Marvel 2 Deluxe
LEVELHEAD
Lila’s Sky Ark
Livelock
Looking for Aliens
Looterkings
Lost Words: Beyond the Page
Lovecraft's Untold Stories + OST + Artbook
Lords and Villeins
Ludus
Lumberhill
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond - M Edition
Luxor 3
Machinika Museum
Mad Experiments: Escape Room
Mad Max
Mad Tracks
MageQuit
Magenta Horizon
Magrunner: Dark Pulse
MAIN ASSEMBLY
Mahjong
MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
Mask of the Rose
Mass Effect 2
Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Men of War: Assault Squad - Game of the Year Edition
Men of War: Red Tide
Meow Express
Metal Unit
Metro last light redux
Metro Redux Bundle
Micro Machines World Series
Middle-earth : Shadow of Mordor Goty
Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
Midnight Protocol
Mini Ninjas
Mini Thief
Minute of Islands
MirrorMoon EP
Mob Rule Classic
Modern Tales: Age of Invention
Moon Hunters
Monaco
Moss Destruction
MotoGP 15
MORKREDD
Mortal Kombat XL
Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate
Mount & blade
Mr. Run and Jump
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
My Big Sister
Nadia Was Here
NEON ABYSS
Nigate Tale
Nihilumbra
Nippon Marathon
NecroWorm
Neon Chrome
Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
Neverout
NEXT JUMP: Shmup Tactics
Ninjin: Clash of Carrots
Nobodies: Murder Cleaner
Noir Chronicles: City of Crime
Noitu Love 2: Devolution
Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
Northern Tale
Non-Stop Raiders
Now You See - A Hand Painted Horror Adventure
Old School Musical
Omen Exitio: Plague
Orbital Bullet
Orbital Racer
Oriental Empires
Orn the tiny forest sprite
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
Outcast - Second Contact
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Out of Space
OUT OF THE BOX
Overcooked
Overloop
Overlord
Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
Overture
Pang Adventures
Painkiller Hell & Damnation
Paperbark
Paper Beast - Folded Edition
Paper Fire Rookie
Paper Planet
Pathfinder: Kingmaker
Paradigm
Persian Nights 2: The Moonlight Veil
Pathfinder Wrath
Pathway
Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
Paw Paw Paw
PAYDAY 2
Peachleaf Pirates
Persian Nights: Sands of Wonders
Pickers
pillars of eternity
Pill Baby
Pirate Pop Plus
Pizza Express
Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
PixelJunk™ Monsters Ultimate + Shooter Bundle
Pixplode
Pixross
Planet TD
Plebby Quest: The Crusades
Planet Zoo
Police Stories
Post Master
Porcunipine
portal knights
Post Void
Prehistoric Tales
Primal Carnage: Extinction
pro cycling manager 2019
Project Chemistry
Professor Lupo: Ocean
Prophecy I - The Viking Child
Pushover
qomp
Quantum Replica
Quake 2
Rage in Peace
RAIDEN V: DIRECTOR'S CUT
Raining Blobs
Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan
Railway Empire
Radio Commander
Rebel Galaxy
Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
Rebel Inc
Recon Control
Red Faction
Red Faction®: Armageddon™
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
Red Line
Regency Solitaire
Regular Human Basketball
Regions of Ruin
Re-Legion
Retimed
Remnants of Naezith
Rencounter
Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood
Replica
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Resort Boss: Golf
Return to Mysterious Island
Reventure
REZ PLZ
Richard & Alice
Rise of Insanity
Risen
Rising Dusk
River City Girls
River City Melee Mach
ROAD 96
Road to Guangdong
Roads of Rome 3
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
RRRR
RUNOUT
Rym 9000
S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
Safety First!
Sanitarium
Satellite Reign
Satellite Rush
Savage Lands
Save Jesus
Say No! More
Scheming Through The Zombie Apocalypse: The Beginning
ScourgeBringer
Sea Horizon
Serial Cleaner
Sentience: The Android's Tale
SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Severed Steel
Shadowrun Returns
Shadows: Awakening
Shantae: Risky's Revenge - Director's Cut
SHENMUE III
Shing!
Shooting Stars!
Shoppe Keep
SHOPPE KEEP 2
Shutter 2
Shred! 2 - ft Sam Pilgrim
Sid Meier Civilization V
Sid Meier Civilization VI
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
sim city 4
Sir Whoopass™: Immortal Death
Sky Break
SKULLY
Slain: Back from Hell
Slinger VR
Smart Factory Tycoon
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
Songbird Symphony
SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
sonic all stars transformed collection
Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
Sonic Forces
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode II
Sorry, James
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Soulflow
SPACECOM
Space Robinson: Hardcore Roguelike Actio
Sparkle 2
SpeedRunners
Spidersaurs
Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
Spirit of the Isand
Splasher
Spooky Bonus
Spring Bonus
Stacking
Stalingrad
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
Starbound
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Star Wars Knights of the old Republic 2
Star Wars The Force Unleashed
Star Wolves
star trek bridge crew
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Hey everyone, I'm attending this speed dating event on 26th May. It's basically a speed dating event for 25-35 year olds who are looking for love. It's a sip and chat event, involving games and lots of interaction to find your desired partner. You get to interact one on one as well, and by the end of the night write down which people you'd like to know more/get their contacts.
Long story short I won a free ticket to this event, and have been asked to invite a gentleman. If you're in Nairobi and between 25-35yrs and interested in the Sip and Chat event on 26th May in the afternoon, please reach out to me for the free ticket.
I've not explained so much, nor well enough but it's a really fun experience for single people. For reference you can check their social pages: @A list speed dating.
P.s. I'm not promoting them or anything, just looking for a gentleman to attend this event with :)

First of all, I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and support from the last post. A lot has happened since then, and a bunch of context is needed, so I hope you'll bear with me as I explain the details.
***
Back during the peak of the blinking crisis, I remember having a lot of difficulty sleeping. It was common for me to average only four or five hours a night, and the little sleep I did get was marred by terrible nightmares. One in particular recurred many times.
I was only eight, but somehow I was in the driver's seat of our family's old SUV. My arms were long enough to steady the wheel, but my legs didn't quite meet the pedals. It didn't matter though, since the car seemed content to continue on at a constant pace. I looked over and saw my mom in the passenger seat. Her face was a blurry likeness pieced together from the dozen or so picture's I'd seen of her over the years. I tried to bring her into focus, not only because I missed her dearly, but because she was speaking—pleading, even. She waved frantically at me, then brought her leg up and slammed it down on the floor mat several times. I didn't understand what had her so upset until she pointed out the front windshield, and I saw we were hurdling directly toward a giant tree that had fallen in the middle of the road.
Panicking, I stomped for the brake, but my seatbelt protested and pulled me back like an invigorated dog on a short leash. I sat up and tried clicking it off, but it wouldn't budge. My breaths became hollow cries, and I felt my heart beat against the bars of its bony prison. I grabbed the steering wheel and pulled it to the left, then right, attempting to swerve off the road, but it was as if whatever kind of glue was locking up the seatbelt was also fixing the steering wheel in place.
"Mom! what do I do!?" I yelled, tears streaming from my eyes. She was yelling back at me, but it was as if there was a divider between us, and neither of us could hear each other. I turned back just in time to see the giant Oak tree meet the front bumper, and then I jolted awake with a piercing pain in my chest that radiated up through my throat in the form of a giant scream. My little legs kicked under the covers and tears rained down on my pillow until my dad ran in and knelt at my bed.
"Lauren, are you okay? Did you have a bad dream?"
I grabbed my pillow and hugged it so my face was covered, then effused a "Mmm-hmm" in a long wheeze while rocking to either side.
"Oh, honey," he soothed and brushed my hair, then the tears from my face when I would allow it.
Time would pass in silence, and when I began to get the sense that my dad was ready to leave, I'd chirp out, "stay" in that way children do when they're embarrassed about wanting something.
"Always," my dad would reply; then he'd post up on the floor with my large tomato plushie as a pillow.
One night in particular, it was deep in the night, and I had woken to a tapping sound outside my window. I was so afraid that a monster had snuck into my room while I wasn't looking that I made him lay next to me and face outward. I'd peek my eyes open every minute or so to check and make sure my dad was there, staking out the room. Eventually, he rolled in close and said something that I still remember to this day.
"Hey, baby, guess what." he whispered.
"Mmm" I mumbled.
"I think you scared the monster away."
I tried to picture this through the fog of my fatigue. Something seemed off about the statement, like it wasn't logically possible, but before I could piece together the words to express that, my dad cut back in.
"It was scared because it realized you're a superhero. And you know what your greatest superpower is?"
I shook my head, making sure to rub my forehead against his shoulder so he could sense it in the dark room.
"You're greatest power is that you get to tell the monsters what to do. Because the monsters are only as strong as the stories you tell about them. And there's all kinds of stories. Happy ones. Sad ones. Scary ones. Tell me, this monster you think snuck in, would you say he's part of a scary story?"
"I don't know," I said, confused. "Maybe"
"Hmm," he hummed, contemplating. "Well, I want you to remember this. You have the ability to tell any kind of story you want. Maybe there are monsters, but that means there's heroes and angels, too, right?"
I was beginning to doze off to the comforting sound of my dad's deep voice, but I gave another affirmative "Mm-hmm".
"So, if you're ever scared, honey, just dream up a better story. A story that will bring you peace. Do you understand?"
But I was already out.
***
I woke up the next morning to the feeling that someone was in the hotel room with me. The drapes were drawn and the only sound was the AC unit blowing cold air, but when I looked toward the dark corner of the empty coat rack, my mind conjured the face of my dad, smiling at me, chanting that same, awful line—Oh, Lauren… you know who we are.
I was no longer a child, but it took a couple minutes of cold focus before I muscled the courage to ascend from the safety of my covers and flick on the lamp light. The small amber radius extended to where my dad's feet would have been if he was standing there. But there was no one. I let out a sigh and collapsed back onto the mattress, thinking back on all those years growing up. The same man who had helped me conquer my fear of the dark was now the monster hiding in its shadow.
I looked over my shoulder and saw the clock read 10:15. My meeting with Trent was in three hours. I moaned and stretched my arms back until they knocked against the headboard, then I collapsed back onto the mattress, meditating, gathering energy like a compressed spring. All at once, I jumped up and glided over to the drapes, opening them in a single, fluid motion. I grimaced at the sunlight, but the warmth felt good against my face. I stopped by the nightstand and gulped down the final few swigs of a bottle of Mello Yello that I had purchased from a vending machine the previous night, then undressed and hopped in the shower.
The warm water wasn't enough to wash away the previous night's memories. When I closed my eyes to lather my hair, I was back in my living room, standing opposite the demon that had taken on my dad's form. His smile. His laugh. It was like someone in my head was flipping a switch between the man I loved growing up and a terrible monster. But the fear was more powerful. I heard something drop onto the tile floor on the other side of the curtain. The noise made me gasp, and I opened my eyes while shampoo was still streaming down my face. I swiped the shampoo out of my now burning eyes and squinted at the curtain, trying to see through it, but I couldn't make anything out. "I-is anyone," I started, trembling, afraid to finish the sentence. I reached out and pinched the end of the curtain. My heart was in overdrive. I swallowed, then pulled it toward me and peeked out. I scanned the room, but I couldn't see anything out of place.
It wasn't until after I finished showering and wound myself up in one of the hotel's too-small towels that I saw what had made the noise. I bent down and picked up the stub of a razor blade that had fallen onto the tile right next to the puffy, gray shower rug. It wasn't mine, and I was pretty sure hotels didn't keep unguarded razor blades just laying around. When I held it up, it occurred to me that if it had simply fallen a few inches to the left, it would have been buried in the rug, and perhaps I would have stepped on it. I stared at myself in its steely reflection. Cold. Lonely. Small. What if I—was all I was able to think before the blade blinked out of my hand.
I threw on some clothes, packed up the few belongings I had into my purse, then checked out of my room. I didn't feel safe going back home after what happened, but I also didn't want to go anywhere else. I got in my car and drove aimlessly up and down the town's streets, focusing only on the car ahead of me. Anytime I started to travel down an avenue of thought, I'd make a turn, or speed up, or hit the brakes: anything to keep my mind distracted. It was sweltering outside, but I'd turn the heat on for minutes at a time until I felt drenched, then toggle max AC until I was cool, then back to heat. I repeated the basic driving tenet "10 and 2", "10 and 2", "10 and 2" like a mantra—a chant to focus my attention on a single point, and then I pictured that point disappearing. I began to think that maybe I wanted to disappear.
I fully intended to keep going that way until 1:00, but after about thirty minutes, my meandering route had led me to St. Mark's Catholic Church, where a large group of people were gathered around a long line of tables in front of the building. I slowed down. At the front of the venue was a large, white cardboard sign which read, "Plant a Seed, Share the Joy". I wasn't sure what that meant, but my boredom had come to a head, and I rationalized that if there's any place on God's green earth that would be safe, it was this one. I parked along the closest side-street, then walked over to the church.
Rows of white tables were covered with cardboard boxes filled with small plants that were wrapped up in individual paper pots. I watched from a distance as people behind the tables carefully removed the plants, one by one, and offered them to passersby. I continued down the line, a sheep in the herd, and allowed myself to sink into childhood memories. I had somehow made it out the other end near the Narthex when I heard a woman's voice call to me.
"Hey, deary, have you gotten one yet?"
I turned and saw a small, gray-haired lady with rose-colored glasses. "Oh, no," I started, attempting to decline, then paused. The old lady grabbed one of the plants and held it out for me.
"Here," she said. "Come on, I won't bite."
As far as you know, I thought, and stumbled forward with a sigh. "Thanks," I said and took the plant. "What is this all for, anyway?"
"It's a giveaway," the old woman responded. "Staff have been growing these plants—tomatoes and garlic, mainly—so they could offer them to members of the Parish. The idea is to have the members grow the produce, then donate it to St. Mark's Food Pantry to give to those in need."
"Oh, that's actually pretty cool." I replied and inspected my plant which was at present nothing more than a small green stem. "So which kind is this one?"
"That one is—" the old lady stopped and inspected the other plants near where she had grabbed mine—"tomato."
"Tomato," I repeated. "Well, thanks again."
"Of course, dear." the old lady beamed. "We're all responsible for each other."
I nodded, then continued back through the crowd toward my car when, through the large vestibule windows, I saw a Priest speaking to a young couple. It had been a little over a decade since I had attended a service (I stopped going during High School when I started studying other religions), and I didn't recognize this Priest. He was short (just over five feet tall), bald, and African American. He wore the customary black robe and white collar, and there was something in his smile and the way seemed to be affirming the couple that made me yearn to speak with him. I considered for a moment, a bit embarrassed to be stepping back into church after all this time, but the thought of being able to burn ten minutes talking with someone who might have some insight into my situation was too tempting to pass up.
I waited near a portrait of Mary Magdalene, my tomato plant in hand, staring off at the pristine series of stained glass images portraying the death and resurrection of Jesus. About a minute in, the Priest met my eyes; he smiled, his way of telling me he knew I was waiting, then finished up with the couple and made his way over. He had a bit of an accent when he spoke—it was Ugandan, from best I could tell—and a proclivity for laughing at the end of his sentences.
"Hello, Miss, I don't believe I've had the privilege," he said and held out his hand. He leaned in as he spoke, and his smile tugged on the corners of his eyes which were already marked with use.
I shook his hand and returned what I'm sure was a weak smile. "No, I don't think so. My name's Lauren. I used to come here when I was little. It's—been a while."
"Well, I see you picked a good day to visit. If you're into gardening, that is." He remarked with a laugh and gestured toward the plant. "It's nice to meet you, Lauren. My name's Martin—Father Martin, if you prefer."
"Father Martin," I repeated, "I have a friend named Martin. It's a good name."
He laughed and said, "Thank you, I'll pass that one along to my mother. She loves the praise."
I laughed back. He carried himself in such a carefree way that I was put immediately at ease. Almost to the point where I forgot what I wanted to talk to him about. "Um," I started, attempting to word my question in a way that didn't sound like I needed psychiatric help. "I have a couple of religious questions for you, if you have time."
"That's what I'm for. Ask away."
"They're about… miracles. Like the ones in the Bible. I was wondering, do you think that miracles still happen today?"
"Miracles, huh," he started. "You mean like water into wine?"
"Kind of, yeah,"
"Hmm…" he contemplated. "Well, I haven't seen them, myself. You know, I may be a Priest, but I also have a degree in Physics. I think God made the world according to laws, right? But I do think God has the power to intervene. Yes. I just have never seen it… like … you know, the biblical type of miracles. To me, there are miracles happening all around us—miracles we can't see."
"Exactly," I responded, thinking about how no one else could see the blinks, "those kinds of miracles. What are those miracles we can't see?"
One of Father Martin's eyebrows raised and he rubbed his chin. "Well, I think the greatest miracle is the miracle of God's love which was perfected in Christ and offered to each of us. It's his power to heal even the most troubled mind. By coming into alignment with God's will for us, we can see the true purpose of this existence."
No, he's not getting it, I thought. I scrambled to my other entry-point. "What about the story of Job? God made a bet with the Devil that Job would stay faithful to him no matter what the Devil did to him. Do you think that kind of situation is possible?"
Father Martin's expression drooped into a concerned frown. "There's quite the difference between miracles and the story of Job. I suppose I see what you're getting at, though. Job's suffering is in some ways the antithesis to positive miracles. In this life, we are tested, sometimes to the point of losing everything, but even that person who has more reason to hate God than anyone else can once again find peace and eternal happiness through faith. In fact, it's often the person who is lowest in the pit of suffering that needs the Light of Christ more than anyone else."
I thought back on the first night that I prayed. It was in my moment of greatest helplessness that I reached out to God, and I thought I had found my answer in Him. But now, after what happened last night, after all these years of chaos—not merely losing things that were important to me, but my very sanity—I needed more than just blind faith. I couldn't just sit idly by and hope things would get better. I smiled at the Priest and said, "Thank you, Father, this has been very insightful."
"Of course, sister. I'm sorry if I couldn't have been of more help."
"No, I think I understand now. I've been… wrestling with something, and I think God wants me to confront it. I think I've been running away and hiding from it for so long that I'd convinced myself it disappeared."
Father Martin nodded in understanding. "Well, in that case, will you let me leave you with a prayer?"
I was a bit taken off guard by the request, but I accepted. "Sure, Father."
I watched as he made the sign of the cross, then he lifted his hands and closed his eyes. "Dear God, I am so happy to have had the privilege of meeting with Lauren today, especially on a day such as this where we are offering gifts for those who need them. You have heard her desire to confront the things that are troubling her. I ask that you bless her with strength and peace and a clear conscience, that she may overcome these challenges. God, bless us with your spirit, that we may see your hand in our lives. Amen."
"Amen," I said.
As I was leaving, Father Martin called out to me and said, "Oh, just so you know, this Friday at 7 we are having a barbecue at the Parish Center. I would love to see you there, if you're able and wanting."
Turning back, I smiled and said, "Oh, ok, thanks Father. I'll think about it."
The priest nodded, and with a smile, he sent me off.
***
I walked into the Deli at 1:00 on the dot. The customers who had arrived for the lunch rush were already cleaning up their trash and heading out. I dodged past a few of them on my way down the long, narrow path leading to the front counter. While I waited behind a couple of elderly folk who were picking which soup they wanted to pair with their Ultimate Grilled Cheese, I looked around for Trent. He hadn't sent me a picture or any way of contacting him throughout the day, so I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I figured I'd see some man half-hidden behind a newspaper, scouting me out. Maybe I watch too many movies, I thought.
"Ahem, ma'am. You're up." croaked the teenager behind the register.
"Oh, right, sorry" I replied and stepped up to the counter. "Uhh," I muttered, scanning the menu for something that looked edible. "Could I just get…" I made sure to mouth every syllable as they were words of their own.
"We have a deal—the try two combo. Sandwich and a soup for $9.99." the cashier repeated for what was probably the fiftieth time that day.
"Yes, that sounds good. I'll do the Italian sandwich and potato soup. And a drink, please."
After I paid for the food, I wandered around the tables, hoping to find someone who looked like a Trent. I was picturing a short guy, runner's build, with long brown hair, tucked somewhere neatly away in the corner. So I was not prepared when the Hulk's stunt double growled my name from a table smack dab in the middle of the restaurant. He had a pale, square face that was spotted with freckles and a sinking property that comes with the lethal combination of stress and age. His hair was relatively short. Probably it was brown or auburn, but since it was slicked back, it looked almost black. And he wore what looked like janitor coveralls. There was even a cloth tag pinned to his chest which read, "Trent".
"Lauren?" He repeated.
"Yes, that's me." I said and took a seat across from him. I saw a brown tray on the table in front of him, and on the tray was a large, white soup bowl. It was empty and beginning to crust along the edges. He must have been here for some time already. "I didn't know where you'd be, so I was worried we might miss each other. I'm glad you found me though." I said while looking over Trent more thoroughly. His large hands were stretched out in front of him on the table. He wasn't wearing a ring, so he probably wasn't married. And his face, it was stern. He seemed like a no-bullshit kind of guy. Then I saw his eyes. They were sapphire blue—probably the most stunning I'd ever seen.
"We only spoke on the internet, so I hope you don't mind, but I usually run a preliminary test on anyone I meet who claims to have abilities such as yours." Trent said while reaching into his pocket and removing a device that had the size and shape of an electric razor. "All you have to do is look into it. It takes maybe five seconds. Ten at most."
"Oh, um, sure," I said reluctantly. "Do I just—" I asked while reaching for the device.
Trent clicked a button and released the cylindrical head which opened, revealing a glass circle about the size of an iris. "I'll hold it, just look into the center. A red cross should appear, then it'll take the picture."
"Okay…" I replied and did as he instructed, leaning my head forward to look into the device. Sure enough, a red cross appeared. "Is it…" was all I got out before the light turned blue and I saw a gray fog disperse and billow throughout the inside of the tube, extending for what I perceived to be miles. My jaw went slack and I couldn't breathe for maybe five seconds. Then Trent reshuttered the device and turned it over.
"Damn, 72." He said with a hint of shock. "That's the highest I've scanned to date." He looked back at me, more relaxed now, and muttered to himself. "How have you been able to function for this long? At this level, you should basically be half in, half out."
I rubbed my forehead, feeling a mixture of pain and frustration and fatigue and impatience which all poured out at once. "Listen, Trent," I said as sternly as I could, "I came here because you said you knew what was wrong with me and that you could help me. I get you have to make sure I am who I said I am, but now it's your turn to pay up. How do I know you know anything about my condition? You said my mom might still be alive. What does that even mean? I saw her die right in front of me. I want answers."
I waited for Trent to respond, but he only lifted his head. I turned around and saw a girl holding a tray of food.
"Um, hi, sorry to interrupt. I have an order 36 for Lauren."
"Oh, yes, thank you." I said. The worker placed the tray down on the table in front of me, and when I saw the food, I suddenly realized how hungry I was. Trent must have also realized this, because he folded his arms and said, "go ahead and eat. I'll explain while you do."
I wanted to protest, but my salivating mouth made other plans. "Fine," I said. I grabbed the metal spoon off the tray and started on the soup, bracing against the steaming heat of the potato chunks.
As I ate, Trent moved all of the items on his tray off to the side, then he flipped the tray over so it was raised slightly off the table. He took his cup and placed it face down in the center, then he rolled up a few of his used, blue mayonnaise packets and charted a track across the tray.
"What are you doing?" I croaked out between bites.
Trent ignored me and continued by ripping up a napkin into strips and placing them alongside the mayonnaise packets. Finally, he snapped ten toothpicks in half and stuck them in the tomb of a dozen overlayed napkins. "It's your diorama," he said at last.
"It's my what?"
"From the story you sent me. Your diorama. When I read about it, it gave me a good idea of how to explain the 'blinking'."
I pointed at the cup in the center. "Is that supposed to be a pyramid? Because I'm pretty sure you're in the wrong geometric neighborhood with that one."
"It's an analogy," he said.
"Of an analogy," I quipped back.
"Look," he picked out one of the toothpicks and held it out in front of me. "This could be a person, an animal, a crowbar—whatever you want. The point is, this diorama is a stand in for our universe. This is everything that exists, that we can see. Okay?"
"Okay,"
"Now, me," Trent placed a hand over his heart. "I'm not in the diorama. I don't exist in the universe."
"In the universe where a cup is a pyramid, or the actual universe?" I said, unable to control myself.
Trent grimaced.
"Sorry, keep going. I get it."
"Things pop into," Trent threw the toothpick back onto the tray, "or out of," he picked the toothpick back up, "our universe at will, based on forces," he patted his chest again, "that exist in other realms" he gestured to the room, "that are connected to our universe," he tapped two fingers against the tray. "These things could be objects, like, say, a toothpick, or entities, like the one you encountered yesterday. The blinking experience that you described aligns with the typical experience of a moderate Antenna. That's what I call people like us—Antennas; because we can pick up on signals others can't."
"We—you mean you see the blinking, too?"
"Yes, but not to the same extent as you. If all the blinks are gathered in a giant picture that you can see, I'm traversing the image through binoculars, maybe even a microscope, depending on where we are."
I thought about this. I guess it was possible there were other people like me out there, but since I had never met anyone, I didn't really consider the idea until now. And then for him to say my ability was somehow much stronger than his… "But," I started, "I haven't even seen that many blinks since I was a child. It's just more focused and malicious now."
"Yeah," Trent scratched his head, "that's the thing that got me really interested in you. Somehow you seem to be able to control it without gear, just by praying. And, look, that's all well and good, but I don't want to give you the false impression that I'm some kind of religious leader. I like to look for logical, scientific explanations for things. So that's the frame I'm coming at this from."
I took a sip from my drink. "That's fine," I said, "the truth is that's why I reached out to you in the first place. I wanted an explanation I could understand. An explanation that was directly related to what I'm going through."
"Then we should get along just fine."
I was scooping out the last potato that was stubbornly gliding along the bottom of the bowl when, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the old man from the line shooting up from his bench and standing in army-erect form. I felt a tingling sensation tickle the back of my neck. I didn't want to turn toward him. I knew what I'd see if I did. "Trent," I whispered, trying to tip him off.
"Huh?" he grunted. Then when he saw my expression, he snuck his right hand under the table and said, "Do you see it? Is it here?"
I cocked my head to the left, signaling toward the old man that was now facing us, but Trent didn't seem to notice him: his eyes just kept scanning the entire front of the restaurant. Then I saw the old man take a step in our direction.
"Lauuurennnn, oh Lauuuurennnn, I've been looking for you, Laurenn." The old man said in a low, gravelly voice that gave the impression he was gurgling liquid tar. I turned and saw his face. It was cold and expressionless, and a butter knife was poking out of his left fist. When I met his eyes, he smiled that horrible smile."You're a slippery bitch, you know that?" He spat. "Why can't you just stay put? Don't you get tired of running from your old friend? Or have you forgotten about me?"
"Trent," I mumbled out. "Right there."
"And this guy. You think he can help you? He's only here to help himself. If that's not clear, you really are a lost little lamb."
"Quick, give me your hand," Trent instructed.
I was silent, my eyes still pinned to the old man.
"Tsk-tsk-tsk," the demon possessed senior wagged his finger at me, taking a step, then another step, shortening the distance as much as he could while I was entranced. Then, suddenly, he sprinted forward at a speed that shouldn't have been possible for a man his age.
"Trent!" I screamed.
"Lauren, give me your hand!"
I spun around and grabbed Tren'ts outstretched arm just as the old man lifted the butter knife over his head like a pickaxe. Then I saw Trent pull out what looked like a toy gun from under the table and point it at the demon.
"Got you," Trent remarked. I braced for a gunshot, but there was no noise. After a couple seconds, I looked back and saw the old man sitting in the booth opposite his wife, his hand tremoring as he reached for his large drink.
"What did you?" I asked, but Trent was already pulling me out of my seat. "Come on, we have to go," he said, "the effect is temporary, he'll be—"
Before he could get out the last word, I saw the cup-pyramid on Trent's tray blink out of existence. The sound of a plate shattering rang out from a table up ahead. The lone woman standing there slowly turned around, smiling, with a fork in one hand and a piece of the broken plate in the other. Trent shot her with the toy gun as we ran past and then barreled through the front door.
"Where—are we going?" I asked between gasps.
"My van. It's loaded with kit."
"And then where?"
"Your house" replied Trent who stashed his gun back in his pocket and took out a key fob.
"My house? But that's where he—it appeared."
"Yeah, and that's where you banished it."
Trent waved me into the passenger seat of his RAM 3500 Promaster. I noticed right away the dash which looked more like it belonged in a new limited-edition EV than a cargo van. The ignition kicked on automatically, and I heard the beep of a sonar ping precede an English woman's voice calling out like some auxed-in GPS saying, "scanning for anomalies". Trent shifted the van into gear, and I heard the wheels sputter as we accelerated backward and whipped out of the small parking lot.
"What's your address?" Trent asked. I gave it to him, and then speaking to his dash, he said, "Car, take us to ****."
"Redirecting to ****," replied the British woman. "Currently detecting 31 novel emergences. Updating pings every 300 milliseconds. Chance of contact: 0.23%"
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"The van has sensor equipment which can detect blinks. It's much more accurate than either of us."
"And it sees 31?"
"Yes, that's not as many as it sounds." Trent said and tore past a car that blinked out of existence right as we turned onto the main street.
We drove on for another couple minutes, the Englishwoman updating the number of novel emergences every ten seconds or so. Her constant babbling eventually became a comforting background noise, and I was able to think again.
"In the message you sent me, you said my mom may still be alive." I looked at Trent to see if he would react to me bringing her up, but he remained stolid. "What did you mean by that?"
Trent thumbed his steering wheel. "I shouldn't have sent that." He said at last.
"Shouldn't have… What do you mean? You can't just say that now."
Trent took one hand off the wheel and turned toward me. "Look, we're going back to your house because we need to determine your origin point. All Antennas have them. It's a place of high energy where many realms intersect, kind of like a station, and it's the place where you first acquired your abilities. Based on everything you wrote, I'm guessing that place is where the forest where the accident happened when you were a young child. But I need to confirm it. Once I confirm that that's the place…" Trent hesitated.
"Then… what? You want us to go back there? To the place where my mom died, or at least where I think she died until you told me she might be alive but are now taking it back? That place?"
"It's the only way to—"
"Now detecting novel agent," the Englishwoman interrupted. We both perked up as she gave another update. "Net anomalies: 437. Novel Agents: 1. Chance of contact: 78%."
"Shit," Trent muttered. "Car, course correct."
"Attempting course correct to avoid collision. Attempts made: 10, 50, 75, 79… No alternate route detected. Chance of contact: 96%."
"Time until contact?"
"Time until contact: 13 seconds."
I shuddered. Looking out the front windshield, I saw cars pop out of existence left and right, opening up a clear path to the four way intersection ahead. In a blink, the streetlights all turned green, and then they vanished completely. It was as if the entire world was being stripped down bare, and all that remained was the road, boxed in by the rows of buildings along either side. In the distance I could see a large tanker barreling toward us.
"Trent,"
"I know," he replied and clicked a different button on the console which opened a new toggle for the shifter labeled "TD". He pushed the stick forward, engaging the new mode, then pressed the accelerator all the way to the ground. "You're going to want to hold on."
"What are you doing!?" I yelled, grabbing onto my seatbelt.
"No time to explain. Car, release phase lock."
"Phase lock released."
I watched in horror as the color drained from the road and buildings and sky, transforming it all into a dim tunnel, with only the headlights of the oncoming semi-truck visible up ahead. I had the sudden thought that this was all a dream, just like the ones from my childhood. I looked over and no longer saw Trent, but my mother. And then I realized this wasn't a dream. This was hell. I was being forced to relive the worst moment of my life, over and over again. Just when I thought I had escaped, I was pulled right back into that car, helpless as we approached but never arrived at our impending fate. I closed my eyes right as the lights engulfed the windshield and braced for the usual pain in my chest, for the feeling of breaking.
But it didn't come.
"Shift" was the last word out of Trent's mouth, and then I was infused with the sensation of being at the pinnacle of a roller coaster. I was suspended there for what felt like hours, but somehow I knew that not even a second had passed. Everything inside the van: the dashboard, windows, ceiling, doors, even Trent himself began to radiate enigmatic particles. They were a mass of constant motion, like raindrops falling through the air but never landing. I looked down at my hand, but it was gone. Diffused into an unknowable number of untraceable particles. The world outside, once devoid of color, was now nothing but color. When I tried to focus on a particular spot in the infinite geometric folds of whatever realm we were traversing through, I could sometimes detect a trace of our world.
The old lady from the church. She appeared as if through a window, standing behind a table, holding out a plant. Only this image was so much brighter. And the plant she was holding was pure gold. Then I'd catch a glimpse of the razor blade. It was large, many hundreds of times larger than the van, and surrounded by darkness. These ghostly images appeared like holograms or reflections that caught the light at just the right angle, then dissipated.
I stayed there, looping between the archetypes of my life for a long, long time.
***
I knew we were returning when I felt the first sense of motion. Breath filled my lungs for the first time in what felt like a day. I blinked. And then we were back in town, driving down the same road with the blue sky above. People were jogging on the sidewalk past the little street shops. The streetlights were active. I checked the side mirror and saw the tanker had just passed by.
I looked over at Trent, who met my eyes. We shared a look of knowing, and unknowing. For some reason, that was enough, and we continued on in silence.
***
We agreed to stay the night at my house.
Trent had parked a couple blocks away in front of a couple vacant houses so as not to arouse suspicion from the neighbors. Then he lugged a large duffel bag with his equipment in and set it up in the living room. He scanned the scrapbook which contained the newspaper clippings from the accident several times and confirmed that was likely my 'origin point'. I simply nodded and then went back out onto the back porch. I sat there for hours, basking in the sun. Something had changed in the past day, but I couldn't pick out what it was. Too much had happened. I had too little time to process any of it.
When the sun set, I went inside and Trent told me about his plans for the next couple days. He said he needed to run a few errands in the morning, then meet up with a couple of his associates. After that, we could begin our drive to Southern Illinois. He said it was likely that the entity that was chasing me had first tied itself to me during my childhood accident. For whatever reason, we came into contact, and now it didn't want to leave. Trent would help me get rid of it. He didn't go into many details regarding how that was to happen, but I don't think in my tired state I would have been able to understand much anyway. He had a plan, and that was enough for me. At least for a while.
After our meeting, I made sure Trent had enough pillows and blankets like a proper host, then I retired to my room. I laid down on my twin bed and stared up at the cream-colored ceiling. Then I turned and saw the participation awards for my junior soccer league stashed on my dresser. I pictured myself on the field, running with the ball, out ahead of everyone except the goalie. I took a shot, but it was blocked. Then I ran back to defend. How can such a simple game be so much fun? Was the last thought I had before drifting off to sleep.
I woke up only once during the night. It was still dark out. The room was warm despite the small, flower petal fan churning away, shifting the hot, humid air from one pocket of the room to the next. I waited in apprehension, sensing that something had disturbed me. I saw the tomato plushie peeking out at me from the slightly ajar closet door where I had stashed it so many years ago. I felt like I was missing something. Something important.
And then I heard it.
There was a tapping at my window.

Part 1
First of all, I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and support from the last post. A lot has happened since then, and a bunch of context is needed, so I hope you'll bear with me as I explain the details.
***
Back during the peak of the blinking crisis, I remember having a lot of difficulty sleeping. It was common for me to average only four or five hours a night, and the little sleep I did get was marred by terrible nightmares. One in particular recurred many times.
I was only eight, but somehow I was in the driver's seat of our family's old SUV. My arms were long enough to steady the wheel, but my legs didn't quite meet the pedals. It didn't matter though, since the car seemed content to continue on at a constant pace. I looked over and saw my mom in the passenger seat. Her face was a blurry likeness pieced together from the dozen or so picture's I'd seen of her over the years. I tried to bring her into focus, not only because I missed her dearly, but because she was speaking—pleading, even. She waved frantically at me, then brought her leg up and slammed it down on the floor mat several times. I didn't understand what had her so upset until she pointed out the front windshield, and I saw we were hurdling directly toward a giant tree that had fallen in the middle of the road.
Panicking, I stomped for the brake, but my seatbelt protested and pulled me back like an invigorated dog on a short leash. I sat up and tried clicking it off, but it wouldn't budge. My breaths became hollow cries, and I felt my heart beat against the bars of its bony prison. I grabbed the steering wheel and pulled it to the left, then right, attempting to swerve off the road, but it was as if whatever kind of glue was locking up the seatbelt was also fixing the steering wheel in place.
"Mom! what do I do!?" I yelled, tears streaming from my eyes. She was yelling back at me, but it was as if there was a divider between us, and neither of us could hear each other. I turned back just in time to see the giant Oak tree meet the front bumper, and then I jolted awake with a piercing pain in my chest that radiated up through my throat in the form of a giant scream. My little legs kicked under the covers and tears rained down on my pillow until my dad ran in and knelt at my bed.
"Lauren, are you okay? Did you have a bad dream?"
I grabbed my pillow and hugged it so my face was covered, then effused a "Mmm-hmm" in a long wheeze while rocking to either side.
"Oh, honey," he soothed and brushed my hair, then the tears from my face when I would allow it.
Time would pass in silence, and when I began to get the sense that my dad was ready to leave, I'd chirp out, "stay" in that way children do when they're embarrassed about wanting something.
"Always," my dad would reply; then he'd post up on the floor with my large tomato plushie as a pillow.
One night in particular, it was deep in the night, and I had woken to a tapping sound outside my window. I was so afraid that a monster had snuck into my room while I wasn't looking that I made him lay next to me and face outward. I'd peek my eyes open every minute or so to check and make sure my dad was there, staking out the room. Eventually, he rolled in close and said something that I still remember to this day.
"Hey, baby, guess what." he whispered.
"Mmm" I mumbled.
"I think you scared the monster away."
I tried to picture this through the fog of my fatigue. Something seemed off about the statement, like it wasn't logically possible, but before I could piece together the words to express that, my dad cut back in.
"It was scared because it realized you're a superhero. And you know what your greatest superpower is?"
I shook my head, making sure to rub my forehead against his shoulder so he could sense it in the dark room.
"You're greatest power is that you get to tell the monsters what to do. Because the monsters are only as strong as the stories you tell about them. And there's all kinds of stories. Happy ones. Sad ones. Scary ones. Tell me, this monster you think snuck in, would you say he's part of a scary story?"
"I don't know," I said, confused. "Maybe"
"Hmm," he hummed, contemplating. "Well, I want you to remember this. You have the ability to tell any kind of story you want. Maybe there are monsters, but that means there's heroes and angels, too, right?"
I was beginning to doze off to the comforting sound of my dad's deep voice, but I gave another affirmative "Mm-hmm".
"So, if you're ever scared, honey, just dream up a better story. A story that will bring you peace. Do you understand?"
But I was already out.
***
I woke up the next morning to the feeling that someone was in the hotel room with me. The drapes were drawn and the only sound was the AC unit blowing cold air, but when I looked toward the dark corner of the empty coat rack, my mind conjured the face of my dad, smiling at me, chanting that same, awful line—Oh, Lauren… you know who we are.
I was no longer a child, but it took a couple minutes of cold focus before I muscled the courage to ascend from the safety of my covers and flick on the lamp light. The small amber radius extended to where my dad's feet would have been if he was standing there. But there was no one. I let out a sigh and collapsed back onto the mattress, thinking back on all those years growing up. The same man who had helped me conquer my fear of the dark was now the monster hiding in its shadow.
I looked over my shoulder and saw the clock read 10:15. My meeting with Trent was in three hours. I moaned and stretched my arms back until they knocked against the headboard, then I collapsed back onto the mattress, meditating, gathering energy like a compressed spring. All at once, I jumped up and glided over to the drapes, opening them in a single, fluid motion. I grimaced at the sunlight, but the warmth felt good against my face. I stopped by the nightstand and gulped down the final few swigs of a bottle of Mello Yello that I had purchased from a vending machine the previous night, then undressed and hopped in the shower.
The warm water wasn't enough to wash away the previous night's memories. When I closed my eyes to lather my hair, I was back in my living room, standing opposite the demon that had taken on my dad's form. His smile. His laugh. It was like someone in my head was flipping a switch between the man I loved growing up and a terrible monster. But the fear was more powerful. I heard something drop onto the tile floor on the other side of the curtain. The noise made me gasp, and I opened my eyes while shampoo was still streaming down my face. I swiped the shampoo out of my now burning eyes and squinted at the curtain, trying to see through it, but I couldn't make anything out. "I-is anyone," I started, trembling, afraid to finish the sentence. I reached out and pinched the end of the curtain. My heart was in overdrive. I swallowed, then pulled it toward me and peeked out. I scanned the room, but I couldn't see anything out of place.
It wasn't until after I finished showering and wound myself up in one of the hotel's too-small towels that I saw what had made the noise. I bent down and picked up the stub of a razor blade that had fallen onto the tile right next to the puffy, gray shower rug. It wasn't mine, and I was pretty sure hotels didn't keep unguarded razor blades just laying around. When I held it up, it occurred to me that if it had simply fallen a few inches to the left, it would have been buried in the rug, and perhaps I would have stepped on it. I stared at myself in its steely reflection. Cold. Lonely. Small. What if I—was all I was able to think before the blade blinked out of my hand.
I threw on some clothes, packed up the few belongings I had into my purse, then checked out of my room. I didn't feel safe going back home after what happened, but I also didn't want to go anywhere else. I got in my car and drove aimlessly up and down the town's streets, focusing only on the car ahead of me. Anytime I started to travel down an avenue of thought, I'd make a turn, or speed up, or hit the brakes: anything to keep my mind distracted. It was sweltering outside, but I'd turn the heat on for minutes at a time until I felt drenched, then toggle max AC until I was cool, then back to heat. I repeated the basic driving tenet "10 and 2", "10 and 2", "10 and 2" like a mantra—a chant to focus my attention on a single point, and then I pictured that point disappearing. I began to think that maybe I wanted to disappear.
I fully intended to keep going that way until 1:00, but after about thirty minutes, my meandering route had led me to St. Mark's Catholic Church, where a large group of people were gathered around a long line of tables in front of the building. I slowed down. At the front of the venue was a large, white cardboard sign which read, "Plant a Seed, Share the Joy". I wasn't sure what that meant, but my boredom had come to a head, and I rationalized that if there's any place on God's green earth that would be safe, it was this one. I parked along the closest side-street, then walked over to the church.
Rows of white tables were covered with cardboard boxes filled with small plants that were wrapped up in individual paper pots. I watched from a distance as people behind the tables carefully removed the plants, one by one, and offered them to passersby. I continued down the line, a sheep in the herd, and allowed myself to sink into childhood memories. I had somehow made it out the other end near the Narthex when I heard a woman's voice call to me.
"Hey, deary, have you gotten one yet?"
I turned and saw a small, gray-haired lady with rose-colored glasses. "Oh, no," I started, attempting to decline, then paused. The old lady grabbed one of the plants and held it out for me.
"Here," she said. "Come on, I won't bite."
As far as you know, I thought, and stumbled forward with a sigh. "Thanks," I said and took the plant. "What is this all for, anyway?"
"It's a giveaway," the old woman responded. "Staff have been growing these plants—tomatoes and garlic, mainly—so they could offer them to members of the Parish. The idea is to have the members grow the produce, then donate it to St. Mark's Food Pantry to give to those in need."
"Oh, that's actually pretty cool." I replied and inspected my plant which was at present nothing more than a small green stem. "So which kind is this one?"
"That one is—" the old lady stopped and inspected the other plants near where she had grabbed mine—"tomato."
"Tomato," I repeated. "Well, thanks again."
"Of course, dear." the old lady beamed. "We're all responsible for each other."
I nodded, then continued back through the crowd toward my car when, through the large vestibule windows, I saw a Priest speaking to a young couple. It had been a little over a decade since I had attended a service (I stopped going during High School when I started studying other religions), and I didn't recognize this Priest. He was short (just over five feet tall), bald, and African American. He wore the customary black robe and white collar, and there was something in his smile and the way seemed to be affirming the couple that made me yearn to speak with him. I considered for a moment, a bit embarrassed to be stepping back into church after all this time, but the thought of being able to burn ten minutes talking with someone who might have some insight into my situation was too tempting to pass up.
I waited near a portrait of Mary Magdalene, my tomato plant in hand, staring off at the pristine series of stained glass images portraying the death and resurrection of Jesus. About a minute in, the Priest met my eyes; he smiled, his way of telling me he knew I was waiting, then finished up with the couple and made his way over. He had a bit of an accent when he spoke—it was Ugandan, from best I could tell—and a proclivity for laughing at the end of his sentences.
"Hello, Miss, I don't believe I've had the privilege," he said and held out his hand. He leaned in as he spoke, and his smile tugged on the corners of his eyes which were already marked with use.
I shook his hand and returned what I'm sure was a weak smile. "No, I don't think so. My name's Lauren. I used to come here when I was little. It's—been a while."
"Well, I see you picked a good day to visit. If you're into gardening, that is." He remarked with a laugh and gestured toward the plant. "It's nice to meet you, Lauren. My name's Martin—Father Martin, if you prefer."
"Father Martin," I repeated, "I have a friend named Martin. It's a good name."
He laughed and said, "Thank you, I'll pass that one along to my mother. She loves the praise."
I laughed back. He carried himself in such a carefree way that I was put immediately at ease. Almost to the point where I forgot what I wanted to talk to him about. "Um," I started, attempting to word my question in a way that didn't sound like I needed psychiatric help. "I have a couple of religious questions for you, if you have time."
"That's what I'm for. Ask away."
"They're about… miracles. Like the ones in the Bible. I was wondering, do you think that miracles still happen today?"
"Miracles, huh," he started. "You mean like water into wine?"
"Kind of, yeah,"
"Hmm…" he contemplated. "Well, I haven't seen them, myself. You know, I may be a Priest, but I also have a degree in Physics. I think God made the world according to laws, right? But I do think God has the power to intervene. Yes. I just have never seen it… like … you know, the biblical type of miracles. To me, there are miracles happening all around us—miracles we can't see."
"Exactly," I responded, thinking about how no one else could see the blinks, "those kinds of miracles. What are those miracles we can't see?"
One of Father Martin's eyebrows raised and he rubbed his chin. "Well, I think the greatest miracle is the miracle of God's love which was perfected in Christ and offered to each of us. It's his power to heal even the most troubled mind. By coming into alignment with God's will for us, we can see the true purpose of this existence."
No, he's not getting it, I thought. I scrambled to my other entry-point. "What about the story of Job? God made a bet with the Devil that Job would stay faithful to him no matter what the Devil did to him. Do you think that kind of situation is possible?"
Father Martin's expression drooped into a concerned frown. "There's quite the difference between miracles and the story of Job. I suppose I see what you're getting at, though. Job's suffering is in some ways the antithesis to positive miracles. In this life, we are tested, sometimes to the point of losing everything, but even that person who has more reason to hate God than anyone else can once again find peace and eternal happiness through faith. In fact, it's often the person who is lowest in the pit of suffering that needs the Light of Christ more than anyone else."
I thought back on the first night that I prayed. It was in my moment of greatest helplessness that I reached out to God, and I thought I had found my answer in Him. But now, after what happened last night, after all these years of chaos—not merely losing things that were important to me, but my very sanity—I needed more than just blind faith. I couldn't just sit idly by and hope things would get better. I smiled at the Priest and said, "Thank you, Father, this has been very insightful."
"Of course, sister. I'm sorry if I couldn't have been of more help."
"No, I think I understand now. I've been… wrestling with something, and I think God wants me to confront it. I think I've been running away and hiding from it for so long that I'd convinced myself it disappeared."
Father Martin nodded in understanding. "Well, in that case, will you let me leave you with a prayer?"
I was a bit taken off guard by the request, but I accepted. "Sure, Father."
I watched as he made the sign of the cross, then he lifted his hands and closed his eyes. "Dear God, I am so happy to have had the privilege of meeting with Lauren today, especially on a day such as this where we are offering gifts for those who need them. You have heard her desire to confront the things that are troubling her. I ask that you bless her with strength and peace and a clear conscience, that she may overcome these challenges. God, bless us with your spirit, that we may see your hand in our lives. Amen."
"Amen," I said.
As I was leaving, Father Martin called out to me and said, "Oh, just so you know, this Friday at 7 we are having a barbecue at the Parish Center. I would love to see you there, if you're able and wanting."
Turning back, I smiled and said, "Oh, ok, thanks Father. I'll think about it."
The priest nodded, and with a smile, he sent me off.
***
I walked into the Deli at 1:00 on the dot. The customers who had arrived for the lunch rush were already cleaning up their trash and heading out. I dodged past a few of them on my way down the long, narrow path leading to the front counter. While I waited behind a couple of elderly folk who were picking which soup they wanted to pair with their Ultimate Grilled Cheese, I looked around for Trent. He hadn't sent me a picture or any way of contacting him throughout the day, so I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I figured I'd see some man half-hidden behind a newspaper, scouting me out. Maybe I watch too many movies, I thought.
"Ahem, ma'am. You're up." croaked the teenager behind the register.
"Oh, right, sorry" I replied and stepped up to the counter. "Uhh," I muttered, scanning the menu for something that looked edible. "Could I just get…" I made sure to mouth every syllable as they were words of their own.
"We have a deal—the try two combo. Sandwich and a soup for $9.99." the cashier repeated for what was probably the fiftieth time that day.
"Yes, that sounds good. I'll do the Italian sandwich and potato soup. And a drink, please."
After I paid for the food, I wandered around the tables, hoping to find someone who looked like a Trent. I was picturing a short guy, runner's build, with long brown hair, tucked somewhere neatly away in the corner. So I was not prepared when the Hulk's stunt double growled my name from a table smack dab in the middle of the restaurant. He had a pale, square face that was spotted with freckles and a sinking property that comes with the lethal combination of stress and age. His hair was relatively short. Probably it was brown or auburn, but since it was slicked back, it looked almost black. And he wore what looked like janitor coveralls. There was even a cloth tag pinned to his chest which read, "Trent".
"Lauren?" He repeated.
"Yes, that's me." I said and took a seat across from him. I saw a brown tray on the table in front of him, and on the tray was a large, white soup bowl. It was empty and beginning to crust along the edges. He must have been here for some time already. "I didn't know where you'd be, so I was worried we might miss each other. I'm glad you found me though." I said while looking over Trent more thoroughly. His large hands were stretched out in front of him on the table. He wasn't wearing a ring, so he probably wasn't married. And his face, it was stern. He seemed like a no-bullshit kind of guy. Then I saw his eyes. They were sapphire blue—probably the most stunning I'd ever seen.
"We only spoke on the internet, so I hope you don't mind, but I usually run a preliminary test on anyone I meet who claims to have abilities such as yours." Trent said while reaching into his pocket and removing a device that had the size and shape of an electric razor. "All you have to do is look into it. It takes maybe five seconds. Ten at most."
"Oh, um, sure," I said reluctantly. "Do I just—" I asked while reaching for the device.
Trent clicked a button and released the cylindrical head which opened, revealing a glass circle about the size of an iris. "I'll hold it, just look into the center. A red cross should appear, then it'll take the picture."
"Okay…" I replied and did as he instructed, leaning my head forward to look into the device. Sure enough, a red cross appeared. "Is it…" was all I got out before the light turned blue and I saw a gray fog disperse and billow throughout the inside of the tube, extending for what I perceived to be miles. My jaw went slack and I couldn't breathe for maybe five seconds. Then Trent reshuttered the device and turned it over.
"Damn, 72." He said with a hint of shock. "That's the highest I've scanned to date." He looked back at me, more relaxed now, and muttered to himself. "How have you been able to function for this long? At this level, you should basically be half in, half out."
I rubbed my forehead, feeling a mixture of pain and frustration and fatigue and impatience which all poured out at once. "Listen, Trent," I said as sternly as I could, "I came here because you said you knew what was wrong with me and that you could help me. I get you have to make sure I am who I said I am, but now it's your turn to pay up. How do I know you know anything about my condition? You said my mom might still be alive. What does that even mean? I saw her die right in front of me. I want answers."
I waited for Trent to respond, but he only lifted his head. I turned around and saw a girl holding a tray of food.
"Um, hi, sorry to interrupt. I have an order 36 for Lauren."
"Oh, yes, thank you." I said. The worker placed the tray down on the table in front of me, and when I saw the food, I suddenly realized how hungry I was. Trent must have also realized this, because he folded his arms and said, "go ahead and eat. I'll explain while you do."
I wanted to protest, but my salivating mouth made other plans. "Fine," I said. I grabbed the metal spoon off the tray and started on the soup, bracing against the steaming heat of the potato chunks.
As I ate, Trent moved all of the items on his tray off to the side, then he flipped the tray over so it was raised slightly off the table. He took his cup and placed it face down in the center, then he rolled up a few of his used, blue mayonnaise packets and charted a track across the tray.
"What are you doing?" I croaked out between bites.
Trent ignored me and continued by ripping up a napkin into strips and placing them alongside the mayonnaise packets. Finally, he snapped ten toothpicks in half and stuck them in the tomb of a dozen overlayed napkins. "It's your diorama," he said at last.
"It's my what?"
"From the story you sent me. Your diorama. When I read about it, it gave me a good idea of how to explain the 'blinking'."
I pointed at the cup in the center. "Is that supposed to be a pyramid? Because I'm pretty sure you're in the wrong geometric neighborhood with that one."
"It's an analogy," he said.
"Of an analogy," I quipped back.
"Look," he picked out one of the toothpicks and held it out in front of me. "This could be a person, an animal, a crowbar—whatever you want. The point is, this diorama is a stand in for our universe. This is everything that exists, that we can see. Okay?"
"Okay,"
"Now, me," Trent placed a hand over his heart. "I'm not in the diorama. I don't exist in the universe."
"In the universe where a cup is a pyramid, or the actual universe?" I said, unable to control myself.
Trent grimaced.
"Sorry, keep going. I get it."
"Things pop into," Trent threw the toothpick back onto the tray, "or out of," he picked the toothpick back up, "our universe at will, based on forces," he patted his chest again, "that exist in other realms" he gestured to the room, "that are connected to our universe," he tapped two fingers against the tray. "These things could be objects, like, say, a toothpick, or entities, like the one you encountered yesterday. The blinking experience that you described aligns with the typical experience of a moderate Antenna. That's what I call people like us—Antennas; because we can pick up on signals others can't."
"We—you mean you see the blinking, too?"
"Yes, but not to the same extent as you. If all the blinks are gathered in a giant picture that you can see, I'm traversing the image through binoculars, maybe even a microscope, depending on where we are."
I thought about this. I guess it was possible there were other people like me out there, but since I had never met anyone, I didn't really consider the idea until now. And then for him to say my ability was somehow much stronger than his… "But," I started, "I haven't even seen that many blinks since I was a child. It's just more focused and malicious now."
"Yeah," Trent scratched his head, "that's the thing that got me really interested in you. Somehow you seem to be able to control it without gear, just by praying. And, look, that's all well and good, but I don't want to give you the false impression that I'm some kind of religious leader. I like to look for logical, scientific explanations for things. So that's the frame I'm coming at this from."
I took a sip from my drink. "That's fine," I said, "the truth is that's why I reached out to you in the first place. I wanted an explanation I could understand. An explanation that was directly related to what I'm going through."
"Then we should get along just fine."
I was scooping out the last potato that was stubbornly gliding along the bottom of the bowl when, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the old man from the line shooting up from his bench and standing in army-erect form. I felt a tingling sensation tickle the back of my neck. I didn't want to turn toward him. I knew what I'd see if I did. "Trent," I whispered, trying to tip him off.
"Huh?" he grunted. Then when he saw my expression, he snuck his right hand under the table and said, "Do you see it? Is it here?"
I cocked my head to the left, signaling toward the old man that was now facing us, but Trent didn't seem to notice him: his eyes just kept scanning the entire front of the restaurant. Then I saw the old man take a step in our direction.
"Lauuurennnn, oh Lauuuurennnn, I've been looking for you, Laurenn." The old man said in a low, gravelly voice that gave the impression he was gurgling liquid tar. I turned and saw his face. It was cold and expressionless, and a butter knife was poking out of his left fist. When I met his eyes, he smiled that horrible smile."You're a slippery bitch, you know that?" He spat. "Why can't you just stay put? Don't you get tired of running from your old friend? Or have you forgotten about me?"
"Trent," I mumbled out. "Right there."
"And this guy. You think he can help you? He's only here to help himself. If that's not clear, you really are a lost little lamb."
"Quick, give me your hand," Trent instructed.
I was silent, my eyes still pinned to the old man.
"Tsk-tsk-tsk," the demon possessed senior wagged his finger at me, taking a step, then another step, shortening the distance as much as he could while I was entranced. Then, suddenly, he sprinted forward at a speed that shouldn't have been possible for a man his age.
"Trent!" I screamed.
"Lauren, give me your hand!"
I spun around and grabbed Tren'ts outstretched arm just as the old man lifted the butter knife over his head like a pickaxe. Then I saw Trent pull out what looked like a toy gun from under the table and point it at the demon.
"Got you," Trent remarked. I braced for a gunshot, but there was no noise. After a couple seconds, I looked back and saw the old man sitting in the booth opposite his wife, his hand tremoring as he reached for his large drink.
"What did you?" I asked, but Trent was already pulling me out of my seat. "Come on, we have to go," he said, "the effect is temporary, he'll be—"
Before he could get out the last word, I saw the cup-pyramid on Trent's tray blink out of existence. The sound of a plate shattering rang out from a table up ahead. The lone woman standing there slowly turned around, smiling, with a fork in one hand and a piece of the broken plate in the other. Trent shot her with the toy gun as we ran past and then barreled through the front door.
"Where—are we going?" I asked between gasps.
"My van. It's loaded with kit."
"And then where?"
"Your house" replied Trent who stashed his gun back in his pocket and took out a key fob.
"My house? But that's where he—it appeared."
"Yeah, and that's where you banished it."
Trent waved me into the passenger seat of his RAM 3500 Promaster. I noticed right away the dash which looked more like it belonged in a new limited-edition EV than a cargo van. The ignition kicked on automatically, and I heard the beep of a sonar ping precede an English woman's voice calling out like some auxed-in GPS saying, "scanning for anomalies". Trent shifted the van into gear, and I heard the wheels sputter as we accelerated backward and whipped out of the small parking lot.
"What's your address?" Trent asked. I gave it to him, and then speaking to his dash, he said, "Car, take us to ****."
"Redirecting to ****," replied the British woman. "Currently detecting 31 novel emergences. Updating pings every 300 milliseconds. Chance of contact: 0.23%"
"What does that mean?" I asked.
"The van has sensor equipment which can detect blinks. It's much more accurate than either of us."
"And it sees 31?"
"Yes, that's not as many as it sounds." Trent said and tore past a car that blinked out of existence right as we turned onto the main street.
We drove on for another couple minutes, the Englishwoman updating the number of novel emergences every ten seconds or so. Her constant babbling eventually became a comforting background noise, and I was able to think again.
"In the message you sent me, you said my mom may still be alive." I looked at Trent to see if he would react to me bringing her up, but he remained stolid. "What did you mean by that?"
Trent thumbed his steering wheel. "I shouldn't have sent that." He said at last.
"Shouldn't have… What do you mean? You can't just say that now."
Trent took one hand off the wheel and turned toward me. "Look, we're going back to your house because we need to determine your origin point. All Antennas have them. It's a place of high energy where many realms intersect, kind of like a station, and it's the place where you first acquired your abilities. Based on everything you wrote, I'm guessing that place is where the forest where the accident happened when you were a young child. But I need to confirm it. Once I confirm that that's the place…" Trent hesitated.
"Then… what? You want us to go back there? To the place where my mom died, or at least where I think she died until you told me she might be alive but are now taking it back? That place?"
"It's the only way to—"
"Now detecting novel agent," the Englishwoman interrupted. We both perked up as she gave another update. "Net anomalies: 437. Novel Agents: 1. Chance of contact: 78%."
"Shit," Trent muttered. "Car, course correct."
"Attempting course correct to avoid collision. Attempts made: 10, 50, 75, 79… No alternate route detected. Chance of contact: 96%."
"Time until contact?"
"Time until contact: 13 seconds."
I shuddered. Looking out the front windshield, I saw cars pop out of existence left and right, opening up a clear path to the four way intersection ahead. In a blink, the streetlights all turned green, and then they vanished completely. It was as if the entire world was being stripped down bare, and all that remained was the road, boxed in by the rows of buildings along either side. In the distance I could see a large tanker barreling toward us.
"Trent,"
"I know," he replied and clicked a different button on the console which opened a new toggle for the shifter labeled "TD". He pushed the stick forward, engaging the new mode, then pressed the accelerator all the way to the ground. "You're going to want to hold on."
"What are you doing!?" I yelled, grabbing onto my seatbelt.
"No time to explain. Car, release phase lock."
"Phase lock released."
I watched in horror as the color drained from the road and buildings and sky, transforming it all into a dim tunnel, with only the headlights of the oncoming semi-truck visible up ahead. I had the sudden thought that this was all a dream, just like the ones from my childhood. I looked over and no longer saw Trent, but my mother. And then I realized this wasn't a dream. This was hell. I was being forced to relive the worst moment of my life, over and over again. Just when I thought I had escaped, I was pulled right back into that car, helpless as we approached but never arrived at our impending fate. I closed my eyes right as the lights engulfed the windshield and braced for the usual pain in my chest, for the feeling of breaking.
But it didn't come.
"Shift" was the last word out of Trent's mouth, and then I was infused with the sensation of being at the pinnacle of a roller coaster. I was suspended there for what felt like hours, but somehow I knew that not even a second had passed. Everything inside the van: the dashboard, windows, ceiling, doors, even Trent himself began to radiate enigmatic particles. They were a mass of constant motion, like raindrops falling through the air but never landing. I looked down at my hand, but it was gone. Diffused into an unknowable number of untraceable particles. The world outside, once devoid of color, was now nothing but color. When I tried to focus on a particular spot in the infinite geometric folds of whatever realm we were traversing through, I could sometimes detect a trace of our world.
The old lady from the church. She appeared as if through a window, standing behind a table, holding out a plant. Only this image was so much brighter. And the plant she was holding was pure gold. Then I'd catch a glimpse of the razor blade. It was large, many hundreds of times larger than the van, and surrounded by darkness. These ghostly images appeared like holograms or reflections that caught the light at just the right angle, then dissipated.
I stayed there, looping between the archetypes of my life for a long, long time.
***
I knew we were returning when I felt the first sense of motion. Breath filled my lungs for the first time in what felt like a day. I blinked. And then we were back in town, driving down the same road with the blue sky above. People were jogging on the sidewalk past the little street shops. The streetlights were active. I checked the side mirror and saw the tanker had just passed by.
I looked over at Trent, who met my eyes. We shared a look of knowing, and unknowing. For some reason, that was enough, and we continued on in silence.
***
We agreed to stay the night at my house.
Trent had parked a couple blocks away in front of a couple vacant houses so as not to arouse suspicion from the neighbors. Then he lugged a large duffel bag with his equipment in and set it up in the living room. He scanned the scrapbook which contained the newspaper clippings from the accident several times and confirmed that was likely my 'origin point'. I simply nodded and then went back out onto the back porch. I sat there for hours, basking in the sun. Something had changed in the past day, but I couldn't pick out what it was. Too much had happened. I had too little time to process any of it.
When the sun set, I went inside and Trent told me about his plans for the next couple days. He said he needed to run a few errands in the morning, then meet up with a couple of his associates. After that, we could begin our drive to Southern Illinois. He said it was likely that the entity that was chasing me had first tied itself to me during my childhood accident. For whatever reason, we came into contact, and now it didn't want to leave. Trent would help me get rid of it. He didn't go into many details regarding how that was to happen, but I don't think in my tired state I would have been able to understand much anyway. He had a plan, and that was enough for me. At least for a while.
After our meeting, I made sure Trent had enough pillows and blankets like a proper host, then I retired to my room. I laid down on my twin bed and stared up at the cream-colored ceiling. Then I turned and saw the participation awards for my junior soccer league stashed on my dresser. I pictured myself on the field, running with the ball, out ahead of everyone except the goalie. I took a shot, but it was blocked. Then I ran back to defend. How can such a simple game be so much fun? Was the last thought I had before drifting off to sleep.
I woke up only once during the night. It was still dark out. The room was warm despite the small, flower petal fan churning away, shifting the hot, humid air from one pocket of the room to the next. I waited in apprehension, sensing that something had disturbed me. I saw the tomato plushie peeking out at me from the slightly ajar closet door where I had stashed it so many years ago. I felt like I was missing something. Something important.
And then I heard it.
There was a tapping at my window.

so I've had this problem for about 3 weeks now , it started when I was playing Helldivers 2 and the audio randomly started stuttering and lagging like hell, I didn't really care bc it was pretty rare and not that bad, but at some point it just started affecting other games and just about anything.
I tried to look around and fix it and have tried several tips and tricks to get rid of it (I use a laptop btw): -disabling the Realtek PCIe GbE Family Controller driver (helped a lot after this it stopped stuttering at all times) -followed everything here https://www.reddit.com/techsupport/comments/13avw59/fix_for_high_dpc_latency_wdf01000_ntoskrnl/ -tried this too
View: https://youtu.be/2KUz8J8PRSI
-tried this
View: https://youtu.be/S8pmiwLfMlg
-Disabling the WLAN driver does not do much plus I need it so can't get rid of that -disabling high precision event timer (kinda did nothing idk) -The Bios is already up to date (it was that way when I checked) -I didn't mess around in Bios yet if that matters -chipset driver is already up to date -I even tried the whole Interrupt Affinity Policy Tool, but that only made my computer worse so I just reverted back to normal
I also use Voicemeeter Potato which I noticed that it does increase latency a bit but it's not the core problem as I still get stuttering even without it running.
So at this point there's no stuttering when using the computer for normal things YT etc but once I start playing a game no matter how performance heavy it is the stuttering will happen at some point.
Laptop specs: Processor 11th Gen Intel(R) Core(TM) i5-11400H @ 2.70GHz 2.69 GHz Installed RAM 16.0 GB (15.7 GB usable) System type 64-bit operating system, x64-based processor GPU NVIDIA GeForce RTX 3050 Laptop GPU iGPU Intel(R) UHD Graphics
Latencymon out of games:
View: https://imgur.com/r884npL
Latencymon while gaming:
View: https://imgur.com/wzl8hD1
Latencymon report: CONCLUSION _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Your system appears to be having trouble handling real-time audio and other tasks. You are likely to experience buffer underruns appearing as drop outs, clicks or pops. One or more DPC routines that belong to a driver running in your system appear to be executing for too long. At least one detected problem appears to be network related. In case you are using a WLAN adapter, try disabling it to get better results. One problem may be related to power management, disable CPU throttling settings in Control Panel and BIOS setup. Check for BIOS updates. LatencyMon has been analyzing your system for 0:54:50 (h:mm:ss) on all processors.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________ SYSTEM INFORMATION _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Computer name: IDK OS version: Windows 11, 10.0, version 2009, build: 22631 (x64) Hardware: ASUS TUF Gaming F15 FX506HC_FX506HC, ASUSTeK COMPUTER INC. BIOS: FX506HC.311 CPU: GenuineIntel 11th Gen Intel(R) Core(TM) i5-11400H @ 2.70GHz Logical processors: 12 Processor groups: 1 Processor group size: 12 RAM: 16106 MB total
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________ CPU SPEED _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Reported CPU speed (WMI): 2688 MHz Reported CPU speed (registry): 2688 MHz
Note: reported execution times may be calculated based on a fixed reported CPU speed. Disable variable speed settings like Intel Speed Step and AMD Cool N Quiet in the BIOS setup for more accurate results.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________ MEASURED INTERRUPT TO USER PROCESS LATENCIES _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ The interrupt to process latency reflects the measured interval that a usermode process needed to respond to a hardware request from the moment the interrupt service routine started execution. This includes the scheduling and execution of a DPC routine, the signaling of an event and the waking up of a usermode thread from an idle wait state in response to that event.
Highest measured interrupt to process latency (µs): 2141.50 Average measured interrupt to process latency (µs): 10.106213
Highest measured interrupt to DPC latency (µs): 2080.10 Average measured interrupt to DPC latency (µs): 4.051279
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________ REPORTED ISRs _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Interrupt service routines are routines installed by the OS and device drivers that execute in response to a hardware interrupt signal.
Highest ISR routine execution time (µs): 367.754464 Driver with highest ISR routine execution time: Wdf01000.sys - Kernel Mode Driver Framework Runtime, Microsoft Corporation
Highest reported total ISR routine time (%): 0.021302 Driver with highest ISR total time: Wdf01000.sys - Kernel Mode Driver Framework Runtime, Microsoft Corporation
Total time spent in ISRs (%) 0.021363
ISR count (execution time <250 µs): 551197 ISR count (execution time 250-500 µs): 0 ISR count (execution time 500-1000 µs): 32 ISR count (execution time 1000-2000 µs): 0 ISR count (execution time 2000-4000 µs): 0 ISR count (execution time >=4000 µs): 0
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________ REPORTED DPCs _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ DPC routines are part of the interrupt servicing dispatch mechanism and disable the possibility for a process to utilize the CPU while it is interrupted until the DPC has finished execution.
Highest DPC routine execution time (µs): 2895.738839 Driver with highest DPC routine execution time: dxgkrnl.sys - DirectX Graphics Kernel, Microsoft Corporation
Highest reported total DPC routine time (%): 0.036152 Driver with highest DPC total execution time: Wdf01000.sys - Kernel Mode Driver Framework Runtime, Microsoft Corporation
Total time spent in DPCs (%) 0.152295
DPC count (execution time <250 µs): 2867912 DPC count (execution time 250-500 µs): 0 DPC count (execution time 500-10000 µs): 29967 DPC count (execution time 1000-2000 µs): 146 DPC count (execution time 2000-4000 µs): 3 DPC count (execution time >=4000 µs): 0
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________ REPORTED HARD PAGEFAULTS _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Hard pagefaults are events that get triggered by making use of virtual memory that is not resident in RAM but backed by a memory mapped file on disk. The process of resolving the hard pagefault requires reading in the memory from disk while the process is interrupted and blocked from execution.
NOTE: some processes were hit by hard pagefaults. If these were programs producing audio, they are likely to interrupt the audio stream resulting in dropouts, clicks and pops. Check the Processes tab to see which programs were hit.
Process with highest pagefault count: avp.exe
Total number of hard pagefaults 92433 Hard pagefault count of hardest hit process: 26407 Number of processes hit: 233
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________ PER CPU DATA _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ CPU 0 Interrupt cycle time (s): 153.016915 CPU 0 ISR highest execution time (µs): 244.198661 CPU 0 ISR total execution time (s): 6.338876 CPU 0 ISR count: 508177 CPU 0 DPC highest execution time (µs): 2895.738839 CPU 0 DPC total execution time (s): 34.144313 CPU 0 DPC count: 2332420 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ CPU 1 Interrupt cycle time (s): 46.672745 CPU 1 ISR highest execution time (µs): 367.754464 CPU 1 ISR total execution time (s): 1.733128 CPU 1 ISR count: 39005 CPU 1 DPC highest execution time (µs): 2470.526786 CPU 1 DPC total execution time (s): 8.634517 CPU 1 DPC count: 59384 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ CPU 2 Interrupt cycle time (s): 38.284653 CPU 2 ISR highest execution time (µs): 259.622024 CPU 2 ISR total execution time (s): 0.360766 CPU 2 ISR count: 4012 CPU 2 DPC highest execution time (µs): 1187.750744 CPU 2 DPC total execution time (s): 2.028144 CPU 2 DPC count: 50305 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ CPU 3 Interrupt cycle time (s): 26.907453 CPU 3 ISR highest execution time (µs): 181.504464 CPU 3 ISR total execution time (s): 0.003805 CPU 3 ISR count: 35 CPU 3 DPC highest execution time (µs): 1415.736607 CPU 3 DPC total execution time (s): 0.400013 CPU 3 DPC count: 9659 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ CPU 4 Interrupt cycle time (s): 38.320740 CPU 4 ISR highest execution time (µs): 0.0 CPU 4 ISR total execution time (s): 0.0 CPU 4 ISR count: 0 CPU 4 DPC highest execution time (µs): 1544.733631 CPU 4 DPC total execution time (s): 1.524181 CPU 4 DPC count: 76999 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ CPU 5 Interrupt cycle time (s): 26.617423 CPU 5 ISR highest execution time (µs): 0.0 CPU 5 ISR total execution time (s): 0.0 CPU 5 ISR count: 0 CPU 5 DPC highest execution time (µs): 1457.822173 CPU 5 DPC total execution time (s): 0.796222 CPU 5 DPC count: 22235 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ CPU 6 Interrupt cycle time (s): 167.894278 CPU 6 ISR highest execution time (µs): 0.0 CPU 6 ISR total execution time (s): 0.0 CPU 6 ISR count: 0 CPU 6 DPC highest execution time (µs): 1500.904018 CPU 6 DPC total execution time (s): 5.632684 CPU 6 DPC count: 167201 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ CPU 7 Interrupt cycle time (s): 30.226556 CPU 7 ISR highest execution time (µs): 0.0 CPU 7 ISR total execution time (s): 0.0 CPU 7 ISR count: 0 CPU 7 DPC highest execution time (µs): 1382.883929 CPU 7 DPC total execution time (s): 0.768749 CPU 7 DPC count: 24288 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ CPU 8 Interrupt cycle time (s): 35.408687 CPU 8 ISR highest execution time (µs): 0.0 CPU 8 ISR total execution time (s): 0.0 CPU 8 ISR count: 0 CPU 8 DPC highest execution time (µs): 1709.463542 CPU 8 DPC total execution time (s): 1.125550 CPU 8 DPC count: 31608 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ CPU 9 Interrupt cycle time (s): 29.257713 CPU 9 ISR highest execution time (µs): 0.0 CPU 9 ISR total execution time (s): 0.0 CPU 9 ISR count: 0 CPU 9 DPC highest execution time (µs): 821.176339 CPU 9 DPC total execution time (s): 0.793745 CPU 9 DPC count: 14617 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ CPU 10 Interrupt cycle time (s): 36.044704 CPU 10 ISR highest execution time (µs): 0.0 CPU 10 ISR total execution time (s): 0.0 CPU 10 ISR count: 0 CPU 10 DPC highest execution time (µs): 1023.575149 CPU 10 DPC total execution time (s): 3.208692 CPU 10 DPC count: 95016 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________ CPU 11 Interrupt cycle time (s): 29.180704 CPU 11 ISR highest execution time (µs): 0.0 CPU 11 ISR total execution time (s): 0.0 CPU 11 ISR count: 0 CPU 11 DPC highest execution time (µs): 987.518601 CPU 11 DPC total execution time (s): 1.085984 CPU 11 DPC count: 14296 _________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Trying to gauge some troubleshooting thoughts here as I'm building a new PC. All components are brand new. Component list:
Motherboard: Gigabyte Aorus Elite AX ICE Z790 w/ DDR5 CPU: i7 14700k GPU: Asus TUF 4080 Super RAM: 16GB x2 (32GB total) Team T-Force Delta RGB DDR5 6000 SSD: Samsung 990 Pro M.2 4TB PSU: be quiet! Straight Power 12 1000W ATX 3.0
Order of operations leading to problem: Computer POST first boot up, recognized CPU as 14700k - recognized a GPU was plugged in (did not list 4080, but showed a GPU in PCIe slot), recognized RAM (non-OC speeds). Understanding Bios was out of date and that this board needs bios update to properly recognize 14th gen intel chips. I downloaded (on a separate computer a bios update from gigabyte website onto a flash drive). Loaded up bios again - used Q-Flash in Bios to update Bios.
After Bios update:
-Computer will not POST with GPU plugged in. Only will show black screen - no bios. Gets stuck on VGA light. -Without GPU plugged in, POST as it should. -Considered possible driver issue - installed windows using integrated graphics, attempted to download drivers, will not install without GPU plugged in. -Considered possible BIOS issue, disconnected power - removed CMOS battery waited about 5 min. -With GPU plugged in = no POST (Stuck on VGA). -Without GPU plugged in = POST and gives me message confirming CMOS reset (Bios still showing updated BIOS version though). -Assumed GPU is bricked - Pulled EVGA GTX 1080 from current computer to test PCIe slot. Same issue - no POST (stuck on VGA). -Attempted to put 1080 into a different PCIe slot - Same issue no POST (Stuck on VGA). -Removed GPU from system - POSTs as expected.
My Assumption: I'm assuming my motherboard is a brick - appears to not work with any GPU in any PCIe slot. Is there anything else I should try to test before returning this Motherboard and buying a new one? Will not go with Gigabyte again - plan to move to MSI Z790 MPG Edge Ti Max if I have to replace Motherboard.
Why would motherboard not revert to old version after CMOS reset?
Is it possible the GPU is bricked and causing the issue? If so, why would it not work with the 1080?

Watching Price is Scuffed from 2021 and wondering what happened to some of these people who were guests on Wubby's older shows (>1 year ago). Price is Scuffed, Wubbilionare, Speed Dating, etc.
Do they still watch Wubby? Do they check the subreddit? What did they do with their winnings? Did anyone from speed dating ever date?
I know a couple people I still see around but it would be cool to check in maybe on stream or this post if anyone knows anything

I-485 (EB2-NIW) Filing date: February 22, 2023
Fingerprint: March 22, 2023
Priority date became non-current
Status changed to “Case Remains Pending” on July 6, 2023
Combo card approval: August 30, 2023
In January 2024, the PD became current but the status did not change
Interview: March 11, 2024
New card being produced: May 8th, after submitting a service request
Case approved: May 9th
Card mailed to you: May 14th
A few notes about my 485 case: I contacted the state senator on February 12 and told them that my status was “CRP” while my priority date was current and asked them to follow up on this matter. A week after my request was submitted, I received a call from the field office saying that my interview was scheduled for two weeks later and asked if I could attend. I said I definitely would! A few days later, the interview notice was mailed to me, but the status on the website remained CRP.
Everything went very well on the day of the interview. I think the officer was new because there were two observers in the room. The officer herself was very nice and only asked questions from the 485 form. I had a speeding ticket, and when she got to that question, I said it was a speeding violation and that I had paid it in full, and she was okay with that. One of the observers asked me a few unrelated questions, like if my major at the previous university was political science?!? 🤪
After the interview, the officer told me they needed to review it and would contact me if they needed any more documents, but they probably had everything they needed. I asked when I would get a response, and she said it was uncertain! After the interview, I didn’t get any updates, and the status remained CRP! Even when I chatted with Emma, she didn’t mention anything about the interview being recorded in the system, and the last update was that I was in line for an interview!!
This situation continued for nearly two months until finally, one of the officers listened to me and submitted a service request for me. The case was approved the following week. Interestingly, it was just the service request that prompted the officer to look into my case, and it was noted on the website that an officer was assigned to review this request.
I hope all my friends hear good news soon.

My friends and I are looking for a place na pwede makipag speed date/blind date. May nakita akong post sa FB about dito before kasoooo di ko na mabalikan yung post. Just want to ask if anyone have heard about it? If I posted on the wrong sub, please let me know. Thanks!

TLDR; 24F Constant arguments with mother, paying for house utilities, younger brother provisions, a few personal finances, mother wants to charge 800$ rent in what feels like retaliation, I want to move out but don't want to be in a bad financial spot.
I 24F college graduate, work a contracting position starting to make decent money. I have been working since i graduated for two years. I make 65K a year. i have been working here for a little under 6 months, before I was making 50k (Yay for the jump in salary). I max out my 401k, and I pay 185 a month for health insurance.
My issue here is my mother. The older I get, the less respect she seems to have for me as an adult simply on the basis of she is my mother so she can say and do anything she wants because she feels justified as she "only wants the best for me"
We recently got into an argument after I volunteered to her that i occasionally partake in marijuana. She got very agressive, very rude and then destructive of my property. I left the house for a week and then came back. In retaliation, she decided I now need to pay 800$ in rent. Whenever we get into a spat, suddenly I need to pay more. As my expenses are right now, i pay the electric bill which ranges from 330-365$, the Internet 93$, car insurance 240 (Theres three people on the car insurance for a total monthly bill of 424. I'm paying about half of it) and phone 100. I send the car insurance and phone to zelle through my mother. The 100 for phone is for my younger brother and my phone bill. Just the device and the insurance because my tmobile line is free. I also handle my younger brothers personal finances while he's in school. Money for groceries, clothes, books, etc.. things that he needs apart from his tuition and housing. Roughly let's say its about 300$ a month, . I do my share of the house work and grocery shopping for the home/ if my mother needs things from the store. When she needs something, she'll ask me if i need the money for it and then she will give me her coin purse and then a list of items to buy that clearly cost more than what I was given. I don't complain about it. I usually just set it down and use my own money to buy it without saying I need to be paid back and all as much as she claims she will pay me back etc..
We recently went on a small vacation and i paid for me and my younger brother, around 8k. Unfortunately a lot was going on around this time and my savings took a hit because of this. I've been rebuilding.
Whenever they do house renovations, my mother wants me to help pay for it. I live in the basement and recently paid 1.5k to help them redo the floors because the carpet bothered my mom so much. I kept saying we could get it cleaned, but she was against it and I gave in and paid for it. She now wants to put up a wall in my room, to separate my room from the laundry room so that (her reason is: she saw it in our neighbors home and thought it was good to allow some privacy in the basement. This was her idea, I didn't ask for it. I said from the very beginning that i don't have the money to pay for that. It's a pain having my room so open but I have never complained to her about it. She brought it up and said I have to pay the materials which I disagree to and it caused a slight argument.
She claims I don't pay rent or contribute to the house hold so it's only fair that I pay 800$ in addition. That paying for wifi should be counted as a "personal" expense because I need it to work my remote job, even though I completely disagree. The mortgage is about 2k. (Are you wondering if my dad helps pay anything? Because apparently what he does is he helps pay for the home is the mortgage). In talking with my father he has told me that he prefers i move out, that My mother and I can't handle disagreements and until i move out, theres no such thing as being treated like an adult because my mother simply wont see it that way.
I agree with him. As soon as my mother doesn't get what she wants out of me, or I do something or dress someway she doesn't agree, she becomes this super rude, and super aggressive person to me. The person i date, the clothes i wear, the things I choose to spend my money on. When i don't engage she will follow me around to yell at me and I will get annoyed and snap back by being petty or disrespectful in how I speak. Now it feels like teen years again. She is the only one I have this issue with.
It's one thing to say you need help with house finances so we should be able to sit down and discuss so that I have the ability to properly save and help out as much as i can where I can, but continuously using it as a power move..I feel slighted here.\
I have been wanting to move out for a while, this past year I was set back some, but the goal has always been to build enough to have a good emergency fund so I can move out. I told her to give me two months first and then she brought up how my dad said I wanted to move out. I explained that me wanting to move out has nothing to do with our argument as I had always planned to move out and I've expressed since I graduated school that I will not be staying home 'till I get married. This however has made me want to speed up the process.
I know realistically, two months isn't enough time for me to get to where I want to be, but while I'm working towards it, how do I move forward on this with her? Am I being unreasonable? I understand that in me saying give me 2 months, it was from a place of annoyance instead of straight up just saying no to 800, especially because i don't want to put myself in a bad financial spot even though part of me wants to say fuck it and figure it out if it means having my own sense of peace in my own place.

How to get virtualization on this screen ?

I’m (27f) going slow (4 minute speed dating) dating tomorrow and I’m super excited. Any tips or suggestions on what to ask/talk about?
I’ve got my outfit picked out and my sister is doing my hair, not over the top as I want to look like regular me. I’m so excited.

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