Dilemma with Airbnb host treatment - no long showers allowed and dog peed on my suitcase and clothes - how should I respond? [Spain]
Hey folks just wanted to get your thoughts on this situation I had recently.
I booked a last minute Airbnb for 3 nights recently in a big Spanish city (Airbnb was outside city center for €40 per night). It was shared with the host (a boomer Spanish lady and her puppy dog). Nowadays, I filter with Guest Favorites and only look at listings where the host is rated over 4.80. This host had 50 reviews, was a super host and the listing was a guest favorite and had a rating of 4.92
I arrived midnight (prearranged well in advance with the host as check in is only until 23h according to the listing). I immediately go to bed without showering as I had one in the previous stay and was going to exercise the next day anyway. I spend all of next day outside and return at night and take a long shower (20-30 mins) before going to bed. I sleep in the next day and the host requests that I don’t shower so long (we communicate in basic French as she doesn’t know English and I don’t know Spanish)… I say all good, I’ll keep it shorter next time. I go inside and I’m in the bathroom for about 20 mins, brushing my teeth, taking a dump etc. and am careful to only take a shower between 5-10 max minutes. I get a message from the host later that evening (translated):
Host:
Hi Appliance7717, I wanted to let you know that tomorrow the departure is at 11 o'clock also because I have to leave, I also wanted to let you know that if you would take another shower I would ask you to keep it shorter, thank you Appliance7717.
Guest:
I showered for 5 minutes today. You want it to be shorter than that?
I did spend more time in the bathroom using the toilet, brushing my teeth etc.
Or I just can’t use the bathroom for long?
Host:
No please, if that's the case it's all right.
It's just that it's a huge expense for me.
I’m in the metro when I read this message and get all flustered and take the wrong train etc. and am a bit frustrated but whatever, I’ll check out sharp 11am tomorrow and get it over with. I’d booked a hostel for the next day anyway. I also missed out on seeing the meteorite (!) whilst all this was happening 😆 but I really think I shouldn’t be sweating about this shit on vacation and walking on eggshells over something so petty…
Anyway, next day rolls up and I scramble to get things packed up and ready so I don’t upset her by checking in after 11am. I’m basically on track to check out by 10:30. Now she has a dog, 🐕 which I didn’t mention - doesn’t seem to be well trained, barked quite a lot and woke me from my sleep earlier in the day but I didn’t make a fuss at all. I’m the 5 mins where I happened to be in the kitchen without closing my room’s door, it went and peed over my suitcase and clothes. It also took a sock, chewed it up and took it somewhere else. Mind you, the host didn’t mention anything about the possibility that the dog would be doing this. I’ve lived with dogs in airbnbs before and never had this issue. Nothing in the listing or house rules about taking long showers or what to do regarding the dog like keeping the door closed etc. She dabbed the pee with paper towels, and said that I should have closed the door but did say “Désole (sorry in French). I had to ask for disinfectant spray. I was upset and was banging my hand on the forehead and expressing regret but nothing more. She saw a pair of any shorts I’m soaked in urine but absolutely no offer to clean it, extend checkout etc. It seemed perfectly acceptable that this happened. It really rubbed me the wrong way. Super hosts are meant to go above and beyond in my view, and here she was struggling to be somewhat décent. We didn’t argue or anything there, if anything I was just a bit terse and we said au revoir and I left to go do the cleaning in my next place (took about 3 hours to get vinegar, bleach, hydrogen peroxide etc.)
Thinking of the Golden Rule, I’d never do this to somebody else if I were her. I’d offer compensation or something….
Anyway, my dilemma is that I wouldn’t have any hesitation going after a hefty compensation were it some young dude or couple as host. This lady doesn’t seem financially well off, seeing as taking a long shower has an impact on her profits. And I just feel kinda bad posturing me screwing over this old lady and her puppy dog for some cash. But I absolutely do not appreciate how I was treated and goes fundamentally against my sense of decency and fairness… I also hate how Airbnb has devolved to classify such hosts as superhosts.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? What do you think I should pursue? Should I ask for compensation? Leave a poor review? I see that she already left me a review on the afternoon that I checkout out. I have a feeling that she left a negative review - I noticed this from a previous guests review as well as what the host wrote about that guest.
Host’s review of Guest plus Guest’s response:
Guest, she is a polite and clean girl, but a great consumption of hot water and electricity, I am personally, these guests are not interested since for €134 I believe that as a host I am not interested , as a host I have not had any problems now, now I have only to wait for my electricity , water and gas bills, I am a person with very few resources, and from now on I do not accept promotions, because for it it is not profitable.
Dear Host, during my stay you didn't tell me anything. Other than that, I've never had any issues with other hosts. I was almost not at the house because I was visiting the city. I was just taking regular showers and was charging my phone and laptop when I needed it. What you wrote about me, I don't think it's true or fair and I'm really sorry to read that because I thought we had a great time the whole time.
Guest’s review of Host:
I had a nice stay at Host's place. It's good for 1-3 days since the room is very small and really suitable only for sleeping (no chair, table, ..). The location is okay, a bit far from the centre, but you can get everywhere by bus or by metro.

So im a 18 year old male and every since almost the beginning of April I've been having a dilemma every since I saw this beautiful trans girl on tiktok who looked nothing like a guy and look like a real girl and ever since I have been going through a crisis staying up every other day all night and staying locked in my room.
I still live with my mom and grandma since I've never had contact with my father and to be honest I've never had a male figure in my life only females even family that visits are mostly females.
And lately I've been questioning my gender because I realized I don't like myself or love myself I hate how I look and I hate seeing myself in mirrors or photos and I realized this has been a long standing issue ever since I was a kid of not liking myself in photos and when I saw that trans girl on tiktok I felt envious idk why I just did I've tried so many things like hairstyles clothes skin care routine for men but I didn't like it nothing changed.
I was a bit jealous of girl because of how they can change there appearance alot with what they have available like makeup, clothes, jewelry and how they look I like how slim they can be and how soft there clothes are and how cute they are I mean I even own alot of soft men's clothes but there limited.
I'm also envious of how they can show emotion without worries I'm very emotional because of my adhd and autism that I have and I like that not saying men can't be emotional outside but it's not as supported.
And when I told my mom this she didn't think I showed signs or she also doesn't see me as a potential girl and she didn't think I would look good with long hair so I got discouraged and I have a therapist for my adhd and autism that I've talked to this with but she said it's my decision.
So im asking whether or not this is dysphoria leading to trans or just trans or im just insecure and this isn't anything at all I'd like help pls

Recently a guy added me on Snapchat. Against better judgement, I accepted and asked, “Do I know you?” I didn’t recognize his username or bitmoji at all. Now, I have made this ‘random’ account for advice.
He told me we had spoke on Reddit (another account of mine) and I thought, “Oh! I remember talking to guy about television on a group.” I assumed it was him and continued the conversation. Neither of us realized for a couple of minutes that our meeting was a “misunderstanding.”
He then proceeded to talk about his NSFW interests on Reddit and believed that I was the name he was talking to (because her Reddit name and my Snapchat name are similar.) When I asked why he didn’t just speak to her through Reddit he told me that she had deactivated her account. I was weirded out, but he seemed like a decent man so I kept talking to him for a bit, letting him subtly know that I wasn’t interested in his NSFW content or topics as much as he wanted to bring it up. He said he was old enough to be my father but lied about his age— told me one thing, his Reddit said another. Both quite a bit older than I am. I should’ve known this would happen because I grew up watching documentaries and hearing stories. I never thought I’d be involved in something like this, y’know?
He asked about my clothing, to see my face, all in subtle ways at first, “out of curiosity.” He even asked about my home life and my relationships. I answered in generic ways. “Oh yeah, I’m eighteen. Still in Highschool. Dad is around.” Those questions and answers. Sooner than I realized, he indulged in more suggestive questions. I felt so uncomfortable. The guy I liked and what I do with him, my friends at school and how they dress and act. “They aren’t as mature as you. You’re such a good girl.” Kept trying to tell him to stop and that I just wanted someone to talk to. He hasn’t stopped.
He makes suggestive jokes. Tells me about his adult interests. Said I’m vulnerable. Calls me innocent and pure and a sweetheart, says I’m the nicest girl he has talked to. He likes that I’m still in Highschool but legally not a minor. Told me his fantasies regarding not quite legal girls and how much of a perv he knows that he is. It’s like I can’t shake him. He knows my name and the region of where I live. He comments on all of my other account’s posts and his history has very disgusting, dirty comments towards other women.
I figured out where he lives because he accidentally turned on his location on Snap. Out of my state. I know about his education and the generics of his current job. I know his Instagram but blocked it a few times. I don’t know what to do. I can barely sleep. I wake up in sweats questioning if I was wrong. I was being immature, looking for some attention in our first conversations. I don’t think that I was asking for ANY of this, was I?
I’m hoping that he doesn’t find my address. I don’t think he will since my location is off and he doesn’t have any other social that would tell him so. He knows details about me from my posts and what I told him about my life which wasn’t ever too detailed. This is more like online harassment than stalking I suppose. I feel like I kind of know more about him than he does me but I’m worried. I haven’t read over this so I hope that I explained the situation well, didn’t know who else or where else to turn to.

hi cora since it’s so obvious you read this snark. everything about cora’s mentality towards life makes me so mad. she is almost twenty years old & genuinely has nowhere to go in life if she continues on the path she’s on. look at all these washed up influencers who average ~400 likes a tiktok. she doesn’t post unique, enjoyable, or entertaining content, so she’s next in line to just fall off. like look at her being stuck at 1.9 for two years. her ‘mental health’ is so frustrating. of course you’re gonna be depressed and anxious when you sit at home all day, eating crumbl & junk food all the time & the only time you see sun is to walk into target (in your pajamas). there are so many things that can support you to heal, and help you. therapy, medications, support groups, & getting of a snark of people who don’t like you ;) the tiktok she posted about “needing meds to be happy” “it’s just a chemical imbalance” to “there’s nothing they can do to help me” baby they are medical professionals who have probably dealt with harder cases than you, they can’t help you unless you help yourself. when she spoke about her ‘sa’ (implying christian) made me have a soft spot for her when she spoke about it. as a sa victim from a relationship, i didn’t leave either, but girl. girlllllllll. you were out, you talked all this shit about him & publicly hinted that he sa’d you, just to get back & be happier than ever? you’re a mockery to all victims, and i hope this hurts your feelings WHEN (cause we all know you the most active in the reddit) you read this. stand the fuck up, act your age and do something with your life. stop begging for sympathy online & get a real job. a REAL JOB. anyways ms. cora tilley, please from the bottom of my heart, figure your shit out. get proper nutrients as you and your (cheating) boyfriend look like two starving victorian children with the black plague 🥰

I’ve been trying to put more effort into how I look and now that I’ve started hrt I don’t feel as guilty about calling myself a girl, but sometimes the more effort I put in the worse I feel. I can’t quite get my makeup to cover the facial hair shadow I’m left with, I don’t have a lot of feminine clothes and I can’t bring myself to wear skirts or dresses in public the way I did in my baby trans phase. I try to appear more feminine, but I’m fairly clockable and people are nice about it, but it really sucks to have people stumble over my pronouns. I feel different when I’m around people and it makes interacting with people hard.

TL/DR: Husband won't give wife access to money she believes is shared funds.
Probably not the best place to ask for marital advice, but ... here we go. My husband and I married in 2020 during the pandemic. I sold my house and moved in with him for a few months. During that time, I renovated his kitchen, partially renovated his bathrooms, repainted his trim, and redecorated (on my dime and my sweat), before we we listed it and bought our current home. I did well on my house ($250k in profit) and he did well on his condo ($170k in profit). Home buying was insane during the pandemic. We were competing with all cash offers and got out bid by $50k several times. My realtor suggested that we do whatever we could to make our offer more attractive, so I offered to use all of the money from the sale of my house for the deposit, so that the deal wasn't contingent on the sale of my husband's condo (likely a BIG MISTAKE on my end). It worked though and we bought our first house together. When my husband sold his condo in 2021 he deposited the money into his saving account. In my mind, the profit he made from the sale of his condo is OUR money, not just his money. The differences between what he contributed to our lives is not the same as what I contributed to our lives, but that is just life. Here is the issue. He refuses to put "our" money into our joint savings account OR let me use the money to fix-up the house.
It is a little more nuanced than that, so let me explain. The house we bought was not our dream home, it needed a lot of work, but it has climbed in value over past four years (nearly 400K), so I still consider it a great investment. He doesn't love the home, but says he never wants to move again. We fixed the inside problems (e.g., cracks in the walls, poor patching, uneven floors) two years ago in a major remodel. The budget was $70k and we ended-up going over nearly $15k due to an unexpected issue in the guest bath that we did not originally plan to touch. I paid the overage because my husband became so stressed out about money. I also paid to have our fireplace remodeled because he said it was just cosmetic (which is true) and didn't need to be remodeled, but the fireplace is the focal point of the living room and I really wanted the tacky high gloss tile removed, so I paid for it to be done (with his approval of course). There were still projects that needed to be done outside, but he was clearly overwhelmed with all the changes and spending of money, so we took a break from renovations.
Last year we had to do IVF and had beautiful son. It was expensive and was mostly paid for by "our" money ($34k). I paid for the injections and aftercare myself. Our son started to crawl and loves to spend time outside, so I turned my eyes to making the outside safe and secure. There are three issues that needs to be addressed outside. First, there is uneven cement (2"difference) that were poorly patched. It is a tripping hazard for both kids and our elderly parents. Second, we don't have a fence separating the front from the back yard, people can just walk right in an take whatever they want, and if our son gets out he could wander into the street (and also I just want privacy, the Amazon delivery guy got a real show a few weeks ago). Third, part of the yard floods when it rains, covering the cement within 4-5 feet of our house, so I wanted to put in drains before it gets worse and we have flood damage on the newly renovated inside. Total cost is about $15k. Husband was totally on board, we picked all the finishes and went with what he wanted, until I asked him whether we could use "our" funds to pay for it. He threw an absolute fit.
A fight ensued about spending and saving. He won't tell me how much he wants to set aside for our "rainy day" fund. My suggestion that it be 6 months of expenses was not enough for him to feel comfortable, but he won't tell me how much more he wants in the fund (and he wont give me access to it). I suggested that each of us contribute a % monthly, but he couldn't give me a number he was comfortable with. He thinks I spend too much and he is probably right, I could reign it in, but I'm not going into debt to pay for the renovations and IVF, it is money I saved after we bought our house, from my side hustle (I have an Etsy store) and working overtime (i.e., teaching extra classes over summer and running new student orientation). It's not like I'm spending money on Starbucks or clothes or dinners out. I am literally buying cement and fencing that will last 25+ years.
He also said he wants to reserve $40k to buy a new car for himself, which bothers me a little because he doesn't need a car that fancy and I paid for my own car. He just doesn't want a monthly payment. Note, this is not something he could have done before we got married because that money was tied up in his condo, so he only has the opportunity to buy a car without a loan because I used my money as a down payment on our house.
This opened-up an entire conversation about why he won't tell me the exact amount he has left and he won't put the "rainy day" funds in our shared savings account, so that I have access (and can benefit from the perks of having a large amount in savings). I explained that given my personal history (my dad blew through their retirement savings TWICE during their 36 year marriage, she asked for a divorce when it was clear it was happening a third time), the entire situation made me really uncomfortable and angry quite frankly. From my perspective he either doesn't trust me OR there is less money in the account than he is telling me and he doesn't want me to get mad or ask questions. It's probably not the latter because he is very frugal, but without access I just don't know.
I think it is suspicious. I think he is being selfish. Am I wrong here? Is it not "our" money? The lack of access is a real problem for me. It has definitely changed the way I see him and our marriage. My thoughts have been going to some really dark places this week about the viability of our marriage.

After getting alot more experience, I have decided to rerelease my first script, with a few formatting changes. I wanted this and the rest of the ongoing series to match the standards of the other scripts in my library.
Note: Monetization is fine, just credit me, send a link of audios, and ask me before making changes of any kind.
Context: A young woman (listener) goes into the forbidden forest to get healing herbs. Her grandmother has gotten deathly ill and only the herbs in the forest have the power to her ailment. As the woman is picking the herbs, she feels a nearby presence. She brushes it off as being a curious animal, but the presence seems to get closer and closer. Before she knows it, a hand rips away her basket and starts rifling through it. The hand belongs to the elf prince who rules and protects the forbidden forest.
Elf Prince: (Smirk) Ah ha! Look what we have here! A little human trying to steal from my forest. Don’t you know it is not nice to take what is not yours?
…..
Elf Prince: [basket rustling sounds] Fire blossoms, Moon berries, and Golden apples. All of these would fetch a high price on the black market. (Voice lowers, menacing) You’re not planning on selling these, are you?
….
Elf Prince: These are for your sick grandmother? (Voice goes back to normal) That honestly makes more sense. You do not really look like the type to sell stuff on the black market. Let me guess, you are going to make that healing soup, the one that is supposed to heal any illness?
….
Elf Prince: So, since the doctor could not help, you decided to take matters into your own hands? In that case, I guess I will not kill you. However … I do require payment.
[Heartbeat and fleshy sounds]
Elf Prince: (Shocked voice) This heart is nearly spotless! I do not normally see mortals with hearts this clean. Now, do not panic. This heart is not like the one that keeps your blood pumping. Once you stepped into the elven domain, the way your body functions slightly changed. This crystal heart is a physical representation of a person’s intentions, thoughts, feelings, etc. When mortals typically cross the border, their hearts are covered in black spots or are nearly black. They usually come here for fame, money, magic, or even eternal life. You, on the other hand, came here for your sick grandmother, a non-selfish reason.
….
Elf Prince: You do not know how this heart can be payment? You see, a heart of this condition can be used for all sorts of things. Jewelry, elixirs, love potions, amulets of power. And besides, it is the most valuable thing on you. The elves do not accept your human coinage anyway. If it makes you feel any better, I will cut you a deal. In exchange for half of your heart, I will let you leave my forest with everything in your basket. However …. there will be some side effects.
Elf Prince: You will still be able to feel and love, but you will always feel like something is missing. Like your life is not fully complete. But it is all worth it for helping your grandmother, right?
….
Elf Prince: The side effect of losing your whole heart is that you would never be able to love again. Shadows would forever follow you and the world would be tinged with gray. You would still be able to be polite to people but never make deep emotional connections. If you feel like paying with half of your heart is not a good deal for you, I could take you to see my mother, Queen Freyalise. (smirk) I do have to warn you though, she is not always as good-hearted as myself.
….
Elf Prince: Very well! I will take you to Her Majesty’s court in a moment. In the meantime, here is your heart [heartbeat and fleshy sound] and here is your basket. In could keep these, but you would never make it out of the realm alive if you tried to run, so it does not really matter if you hold these or not. Come now little mortal, it is time to pay mother dearest a visit.
(Time Skip: The Elven Prince and Listener have arrived at Queen Freyalise’s court. Word has gotten around that the prince has found a human, who wishes to make a deal with the queen. Her majesty sits upon her throne, waiting for her son with open arms and anticipating Listener’s next move.)
Queen Freyalise: Prince Damar, my son! You have finally decided to pay your dear old mother a visit! Now come here and give me a hug!
….
Queen Freyalise: Oh! I see my son has forgotten to mention his name. He is Prince Damar Aquarius Uriqen. My youngest of four sons and the only one unwed
Damar: Mother, for the thousandth time, I am not interested in having a bride. I am fine being by myself and looking after the forest.
Queen Freyalise: Do not “Mother” me, young man. It is about time you settled down and gave me grandchildren. I am not getting any younger, you know.
Damar: Mother, you are over three thousand years old and immortal. You will always be “Younger.”
Queen Freyalise: That is beside the point. (Talks to Listener) Now, my dear girl, I have gotten word of your virtually unblemished heart. May I see it?
…. [Heartbeat and fleshy sounds]
Queen Freyalise: So, it is true! This heart is almost completely clear! I only see a few flaws here and there, but they are hardly noticeable. As for the deal, unfortunately, I hardly ever offer lower than three-fourths of a heart.
….
Queen Freyalise: However, since your heart is purer than most mortals that come into our lands and your purpose was not for your own gain, I will make you a deal that I have only made one other time. In exchange for you leaving my realm with your heart and the herbs you gathered, you will complete three tasks for me. One, collect a tail feather from the Ruby Thunderbird. Two, collect a scale from the mammoth emerald serpent. Three, gather the tears of a silver unicorn. And since you mortals usually need help on quests like this, I will allow you to pick one companion from my court, not including myself of course.
….
Damar: (surprised) Me?! Mother, you can not allow this! Who will look after the forest?! Why do I have to babysit this human?!
Queen Freyalise: First of all, I said she could pick anyone here besides me. Second, Garolon (second oldest prince) will take over your duties during the tasks. And third, you are not babysitting her, you are making sure she stays on the path and does not get eaten. Besides, you two may even fall in love and give me my grandchildren. Now, my dear girl, you have a long day ahead of you. My maids will show you to your room and will help you settle in for the night. Tomorrow, we will get you two all set for your journey.
(Time Skip, the maids are helping Listener take a bath to try and calm her for bed)
Elven Maid 1: You must excuse the queen, miss. She has been wanting grandchildren for a few hundred years now. For some reason, the three other sons have yet to produce any. She just gets over-excited whenever she finds a potential bride for Prince Damar. [water pouring sound]
Elven Maid 2: You are actually quite lucky to be considered as a potential bride. Her majesty typically does not see humans as worthy of marrying into her family, but your heart proves that you may bring some good things into the court. I honestly find some of the noblewomen quite stuffy. [soap suds sounds?]
Elven Maid 3: Also, you are the second person to ever be offered those three tasks. The first was another mortal woman who wanted some Golden apples for her siblings. Her village’s food supply was running low during a particularly bad winter. She saw those Golden apples on a branch just outside the forest’s entrance and picked some. She was immediately taken to the Queen by some guards and was asked why she dared to do such a thing. After the woman stated her case, Queen Freyalise offered her three tasks in exchange for the apples and food to help her village survive until spring. The woman managed to complete all of the tasks and was sent home with enough food for the winter. [water pouring sounds]
Elven maid 1: If I remember correctly, the human woman looked awfully a lot like you. Who knows, you two may be related and that could be another reason why you were offered the tasks. Now, let us get you into some warm clothes and to bed. You have a long day ahead of you.
(In the Queen Freyalise’s chambers)
Damar: I still do not know why you even considered that girl for the trials. She would be killed the moment the Thunderbird sees her. I can not have her blood on my hands.
Queen Freyalise: I made that deal because she reminded me of that other mortal woman. I even have a feeling that the two of them may be related. As for you, her blood will not be on your hands. She chose this and if she dies, then at least she did for someone else. Life is full of sacrifices and risks. You can not always play it safe when someone else’s life is on the line.
Damar: But mother…
Queen Freyalise: Goodnight Damar. You have a long journey ahead of you and you will need your sleep. I will make sure enough supplies are packed for the two of you. Also, please keep her alive. I have a feeling she will bring a lot of light to this old place.

Hi !
I am a 19F, and I am too sensitive and come across as childish, because of my personality. I cannot argue with someone close, like my family, without crying.
Long contextualisation here, sorry in advance. This is more of a vent post looking for advice.
I was the cliché weird girl, ugly, curly hair and glasses, with no friends and who didn’t understood what was going on half of the time. I got bullied in preschool and sometimes over the years. I am ashamed, but I got violent when people were mocking me, and when we argued, because I was sad and didn’t knew what to do. Still am today to some extent. I was very unhappy when in public and in school, borderline embarrassed of existing, hating myself, but it got way better as a teen.
I grew up, I am social, I have very good friends, I am funny, I am way better, and sometimes I can’t believe how far I’ve got from the old me. I am very proud of myself on that. But I don’t have a lot of "life experience", with how I was so isolated before. I would say that I have three years of real "life experience". It felt like coming out of the fog or something.
Now, I am not someone that takes things at heart, or too personally. I like to think that I am pretty level headed. I never cried in front of my friends, except for something very serious or because we were watching a sad movie.
However, when I am alone or with my family, it is different. I just can’t help it, and I immediately cry when :
-I am embarrassed about myself - when I don’t have any great comeback when arguing - I am angry and the person I am arguing with doesn’t care and use it to make fun of me - when I think about something sad or someone going through intense emotional pain
But I never cry in public.
My close family is very different from me on this aspect, my parents are loving and supportive but they are not as sensitive.
The other day I argued with my father over lunch. It wasn’t because of something I did, he just got angry by himself and was being unfair and quite frankly ruining the meal, so I intervened. When he started jabbing at me, I left the table, because it was the end of the meal and my siblings already left. I was pissed, but didn’t want to cry. My father said "yeah right, go cry".
It’s not much. Worse things happens in life
(like when I had Cushing disease and nobody believed me until I went to the doctors alone lol)
But I got so angry. Because my little sister says the same thing when we argue. Because she never cry and I cry, well, often.
She doesn’t likes me. When I come home she never talks to me, seeing me makes her angry. She is the kind of pretty, very opinionated girl who would have bullied the hell out of me if we were in the same grade. We joked about this before. She is also f ing rude and probably hasn’t cried in years.
There have been instances of my dad and sister telling my that I act and behave childishly, my mother too. It’s true that I can be sometimes, but I am not childish about serious things, not about how I treat people, or live my life, or with my studies.
And besides why can’t I be childish with my FAMILY, in my own home, with my parents when I am literally their CHILD ? Like, I am the child that is "wise beyond its years" when I talk about serious things with my parents, when we talk about life and philosophy.
There is a big difference with how I act day-to-day with close family members, joyful and frankly dumb, and with how I am when it comes to serious subjects. And they get to see both of these sides of me, often. Which is why it hurts even more when they call me childish and they all agree with it.
I feel they don’t take me seriously, because I am the sensitive, cry easily artsy former-victim child. And I hate this. Because I can’t argue without crying, and when I don’t cry I don’t know how to respond and my arguments are weak. And I look pathetic. Even if we love each other very much and have healthy relationships.
I am sorry for the extensive rent, but i feel like it was needed so that you could give me some advice on how to be less sensitive, cry less and appear less childish, I guess, based on this context.
Sorry for over sharing, and for my English, it is not my first language
thanks you :D

Part 1 about voter constituencies read here: https://www.reddit.com/unitedstatesofindia/s/wYsPUkrwok
So Part 2 - Here are VIP seats: 1. Varanasi - Modi is winning. No point discussing this further. The whole Shyam Rangeela thing was sad. Modi wins anyway. 2. Mathura - Hema Malini as a politician is a clown. People will still vote for her. Because she is famous, she is 'dream girl'. Vote for her is BJP vote, it's a vote for Modi. 3. Gorakhpur - Ravi Kishan will win. Bhojpuri ka SRK. He seems like a decent person in public life. But also is apparently proper RW in personal life. BJP seat hai, jeetenge hi. 4. Meerut - Arun Govil. Kya aap Ram Rajya mai Shri Ram ko vote nahi denge. He is the actor who played Ram in the Doordarshan Ramayan. Recently played Modi-look-alike character in Article 370. Is an absolute clowns. Actually gave interviews saying that I don't know what the issues of Meerut are. Said - "I will work to find out issues after I win election." Most likely will still win, people will vote Ram ke Naam. 5. Ghaziabad - Atul Garg. Son of the first mayor of Ghaziabad. Currently a minister in Yogi sarkar. Will ride the Modi-Yogi wave and win. 6. Pilibhit - Nitin Prasada. Was a congress MP from Shahjahanpur way back in 2004 and Daurahara in 2009. Made MoS in UPA2. Joined BJP in 2021. Will win due to Modi wave mostly. But voter may have resentment coz BJP did not give ticket to Varun Gandhi. 7. Saharanpur - Imran Masood, son of 9-time MP Rashid Masood. Congress candidate. Hoping that father's base plus undercurrent will help. Muslims have decent share in constituency. Shayad jeet jayega. 8. Mainpuri - Dimple Yadav. Wife of Akhilesh Yadav. Bhabhi ji jeet jayegi. UP government tourism minister standing against her. Double engine sarkar influence. But she seems to be too big to lose in this seat bcoz Mainpuri is Mulayam Singh Yadav's bastion. 9. Firozabad - Akshaya Yadav, related to the SP yadav family. Seat is SP bastion won by them everytime since 1999 to 2014. Lost in 2019. SP looking to get it back. 10. Budaun - Aditya Yadav, related to the SP yadav family. Seat is SP bastion won by them everytime since 1996 to 2014. Lost in 2019. SP looking to get it back. 11. Agra - SP Baghel, Union Minister will fight this SC reserved seat. BJP has been winning this seat since 2009. Will win again this year. 12. Hathras - SC reserved seat. BJP union minister fighting here mainly against SP candidate. Toss up seat as Hathras rape case is very big issue among other issues affecting backward castes. 13. Etah - Rajveer Singh, son of former UP CM Kalyan Singh. Seat is family bastion plus he is BJP candidate. Will definitely win. 14. Kannauj - Akhilesh Yadav. Bhaiya toh jeetenge. He has won from here before. 15. Unnao - Sakshi Maharaj. Controversial person but will win Ram ke Naam. Important seat placed right between Lucknow and Kanpur. 16. Amethi - Smriti Irani vs KL Sharma is gonna be a fun toss up to watch. Irani has BJP + Modi/Yogi/Ram in her favour but people are annoyed by her lies about cylinder and 13Rs sugar. Local village Pradhans are annoyed at how she has allegedly micro-managed and also disrespected them in the last 5yrs. KL Sharma is not a big name but he has been there for 40+yrs as poll manager. Generations of people in Amethi know him personally. And Priyanka Gandhi has also done a great job campaigning for him. Toss up seat, fun to watch. 17. Raebareli - Rahul Gandhi. He is running from here coz it's going to be a safe seat. Family bastion hai. Priyanka has campaigned really well and after the "Mai aapko apna beta saup rahi hu" speech by Sonia Gandhi, it seems like a sealed deal. 18. Lucknow - Rajnath Singh. BJP stronghold since 1991. Atal Bihari Vajpayee's seat. Rajnath Singh running from here for the 3rd time. He'll win for sure. 19. Kaiserganj - Karan Bhushan Singh, son of Brij Bhushan Singh. Dab dabba toh hai. Betaji jeet hi jayenga. Father's sexual harassment scandal not a voter issue at all unfortunately. 20. Sultanpur - Maneka Gandhi. Will win. Loved by voters. Did a lot of work at village level outside of her MP duties as well. 21. Azamgarh - Nirahua (Bhojpuri superstar) vs Dharmendra Yadav (SP yadav family). SP bastion but Nirahua wrestled the seat in 2022 by-poll. Toss up seat worth watching. 22. Ambedkarnagar - No famous players but seat to look for. Strong fight between BSP and BJP. Mayawati won from here two times. Birthplace of social leader Ram Manohar Lohia. Large vote share of Dalits, Kurmis and Muslims. 23. Shravasti - Saket Mishra. Son of Modi's ex-principal secretary (the guy who is now chairman of ram mandir construction committee). He will win ofcourse. Modi/Yogi + Ram is enough. 24. Ghazipur - Afzal Ansari, elder brother of Mukhtar Ansari running on SP ticket. Let's see how much his death's sympathy factor works with largely Muslim voter base. 25. Mirzapur - Anupriya Patel, chief of Apna Dal and Union Minister in current central government. 2 time incumbent, trying luck third time, might win. 26. Ballia - Neeraj Shekhar, son of former PM Chandra Shekhar. Running on BJP ticket, will win.
Ho gaya ji. 26 out 80 seats. Baaki seats ka zyada knowledge nahi hai. Aur Maine find out karne ki mehnat nahi ki hai. Udti udti khabar Sunni hai that unexpected seats like Faizabad (ayodhya) and Lucknow might see a turn around. But mujhe abhi toh believe nahi ho raha.
What I think are confirm wins: 15 NDA alliance (14 BJP + 1 Apna Dal) 6 INDIA alliance (2 Congress + 4 SP)
Toss up seats with battles to watch for: Hathras Amethi Azamgarh Ambedkarnagar Ghazipur
Thanks friends. Byeeeee

AITAH because I don’t believe that my husband “forgot” that he cheated on me
My husband has a friend that is getting divorced because he was caught cheating on his wife. My husband relayed the following story to me.
My husband’s friend asked him if he ever cheated on me/thought about cheating on me. He told him now. His friend was surprised because “most guys cheat” and then went on to say does (my name) know how lucky she is that you don’t cheat on her because most guys cheat..does she know how lucky she is to be with such a good guy”
But my husband had cheated on me and had admitted to it. This was over a decade ago but he had made out with a girl and gotten a “really short” blow job.
I wanted to avoid drama so I don’t really comment on his story. It just seemed hypocritical but I figured it was awkward to admit the truth/ he didn’t want to make our business public information.
But when he keeps repeating this story to me. Multiple times. It was just odd. I felt like I wasn’t responding correctly. Like I was supposed to agree that I was so lucky that he was such a good guy. BUT he had cheated.
So he tells me the story one time too many and I ask him if he feels bad lying to his friend. He says he didn’t lie. Then I point out he did in fact cheat on me yet he was telling his friend he never cheated or even thought about it. Then he says he didn’t cheat on me. Then I ask him about the time he got a “really short” blow job.
He goes “oh I forgot about that”. I was skeptical he could forget about getting a blow job. I asked him if he was saying it didn’t happen. He said no, he just forgot.
I asked him if he forgot I know. He claims that he forgot it happened and that he forgot I knew/we had talked about it. He said he doesn’t see himself as a cheater, thinks he is a good guy, and doesn’t like to think about it. The cheating happened over a decade ago. But I just don’t think that’s something someone forgets.
We have talked about it from time to time but not in several years. Its always weird when we talk about it. He was one way when it first came out and changed his tune about it a bit and I just leave it in the past.
But the constantly telling me the story about how he told his friend he never cheated and about how lucky I was so weird that I ended up just calling him out on the hypocrisy of it.
He is now upset with me that I don’t believe that he forgot it happened. I’m over the cheating and dont really feel like he will do it again. I don’t feel like it should be a big deal to talk about it.
I felt like I was being gaslight and trying to be coached into saying he was such a good guy for not cheating and that is why I brought up him cheating and being dishonest with his friend/ a hypocrite. I’m not advocating for him to tell his friend or anything.
I am kind of concerned that is it is true that he forgot he cheated that there is something going on.
I’ve told him about other things I feel like he is gaslighting me and I totally feel like this is a prime example of the gas lighting.
AITA to not believe he “forgot” he cheated on me?

So, long story short, there's this girl I have been attracted to for years. Since the start of secondary (English) / high school, and I have now been out of school for two years. I am genuinely in love, but I guess this is the only subreddit where I don't need to explain it, we all get it.
I confessed on a fairly long paragraph on Instagram about 6 months ago, and she told me she had a boyfriend, although she did thank me. I never had the impression in school that she liked me as a friend or potential lover, but she also wasn't the MOST confident girl, although enough for me to absolutely fall in love with her without ever having a proper conversation even once.
Now we're in the present day. I have started working out more and trying to better my confidence in public, and I'm kinda using her as motivation. I'm telling myself "once I get to where I want to be, I'll try again", am I fucked for thinking this? Should I just take no for no or try one more time?
I just cannot stop thinking about her, and this is after a rejection. I don't see how it will change unless the final nail is placed in the coffin, but is it creepy to try again when she, to me, made herself explicitly clear?

So me F22 and him M24 have been in a relationship for over a year but I often catch him in lies or hiding the truth because he "doesn't want to make me upset". overheard a conversation where he was speaking to his friend over the phone talking about how he "hasn't had many since last time" and "can't wait to see everyone else's" and I pieced it together based on when he previously told me about placing ex-hookups into a category with his friends. Basically they all anonymously send in screenshots of girls they have been with and rate them on a scale based on physical appearance, apparently it gets heated with barking or shouting over especially attractive girls. I was upset and said it feels disrespectful because he now has a girlfriend and would have to rate all of his past hookups aswell as other ones. He said it wasn't serious and it's mainly to catch up and see who people have been with, but then told me that he wouldn't put me in because the guys "can be dogs"...which leads me to believe it isn't innocent and it's hypocritical if he doesn't want me to be part of it. He completely dismissed my feelings after I said it was childish and single behaviour and said I was controlling and insecure for not wanting him to be part of this really fun guys night. The thing is most of his friends aren't in relationships and I know they're all going to be talking and thirsting over all these pics of girls. How do I get my boyfriend to understand my perspective? Has anybody been in a similar situation? Thanks in advance!

Just out of The Strangers: Chapter 1, and I either need validation/vindication, or to be convinced that I'm wrong (and I'm open to that, by all means).

I'd avoided delving too deep into any backstory of this film. Initially I'd thought this was going to be a prequel-series of films, given how Prey at Night ended (two killers dead, one almost certainly dead). So I went in with my back up, as you always should with a horror prequel, or indeed series - what's the actual risk to the villains if they'll allegedly appear in the future (be that the in-universe future, or a future film)?
Within the first few minutes, our lead lady is using a smartphone/Google Maps, and shortly thereafter an AirBNB is mentioned. So we're in present-day, and it's not a prequel - that's fine.
Once we meet The Strangers, The Man in the Mask showed no burns or signs of injury from the previous film, and is wearing significantly different clothing than he usually would. Pin Up Girl and Dollface were hella dead by the end of that film. With all of this said, I'm to believe we have a new trio of killers donning the masks, right? Great.
And yet, it all felt wasted. Nothing new, nothing interesting happened.
Our lead characters were not especially likeable. The dialogue in the car was pretty forced and expository, and they just felt very generic. They looked great and I've no problem with the actors, but feel they weren't given much to do.
In fact, nobody is very likeable in this film. The okayest-character was the girl in the diner who gave them a lift to the house, and even that was probably part of the killers' setup.
Everyone in town... was just downright awful, for no apparent reason. Sneering because the central couple come from the city. Literally making multiple "Huh, she's a VEGETARIAN?" jokes - seriously, was this film written in 2002 and mildly modernized, or something? What the hell are we doing here?!
Our lead characters were also just not smart. Examples:

• Maya is alone in the house. A stranger has come knocking (twice), refusing to elaborate on their intentions. She smokes a joint and takes a shower to relax, while still alone. The power is cut, she meets an unknown individual in the hallway, and runs upstairs to hide in a closet. Then, because she smoked the joint, Ryan convinces her she may have imagined it. She also leaves her phone down (I honestly don't remember what became of it after she asks "Where the fuck is mine?").
• Ryan shoots the goddamn owner of the house, not caring that he wasn't wearing a mask - pointless callback to the first film where the lead man accidentally shoots his friend, btw - and then doesn't shoot Pin-Up girl in the forest when he has her at point-blank range. Why do people never shoot people in the feet/knees? They (probably) won't die, and they'll know you're not fucking around. But no, plenty of time for a dude to come knock you out with the butt of an axe.
• The truck-ramming scene was incredibly forced, and annoyingly danced around dad-truck-murder scene in Prey at Night. Both characters sucked here (he checked the front and back seats, but not the very back of the jeep - I was surprised they didn't have one of the killers climb over the seats).

As I watched, I thought "Okay, chill - it's not as if they know they're in a horror movie. People get jittery and make mistakes when under duress". But I think nowadays, horror movies in general have just surpassed this kinda stuff. They don't - shouldn't - get a free pass for characters being outright stupid, just to make plot happen. Especially when they're the ONLY characters we're following for the whole film. If you wanna introduce a dopey hyuck friend for some death fodder, go right ahead. But it's asking a bit too much nowadays to root for a character who makes stupid choices for just no good reason.
I'm no expert, but I do love my horror movies, and after the direction Prey at Night took, I just expected... more. This was very much a paint-by-numbers horror movie, and it really did come off as a weak copy of the first film. The fact that Maya survives was.. something different. But now it means we'll be following her through the next film. I find this more worrying than interesting, because it may mean there's going to be some contrived revenge plot, when really I want to see more of the killers, and I want to see them get killed.
There are just few things more frustrating than a film series providing more questions and no answers, all in the name of cranking out more of them. All we know - all we can suppose - is that there are three new people wearing these masks. That's all. And for the third film in a franchise - whether it's starting its own story arc or not - that's not good enough for me.

I've noticed this case has not been written about on here before, so I'd like to bring attention to an unsolved murder from Simcoe County in Ontario, Canada.
17-year old Cindy Halliday was born and raised in Waverley, ON, a small town about 35 km away from Barrie, ON. According to her family, she often hitchhiked to Barrie or Midland when she had to travel. On Easter Monday 1992, she was visiting a friend in Barrie, ON at a halfway house. She left at about 5:30 pm and planned to hitchhike the 35 km home back to Waverley down Highway 27. She was last seen hitchhiking near Midhurst ON. Witnesses reported seeing a teen fitting Cindy's description getting into a 1979-1981 light-coloured Chrysler LeBaron or Dodge Diplomat by the Hasty Market in Midhurst between 5:30 pm and 6:30 pm. However, she never made it home. A day later, she was reported missing by her mother, Jackie. A search ensued and hundreds of missing pamphlets were handed out, but there was initially no luck.
However, 2 weeks after her disappearance, Cindy's wallet was found in a wooded area off the Old Second Line or Concession Road 2 in Vespra Township, near Horseshoe Valley Road on May 3rd by a man collecting bottles. A subsequent K9 search by the OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) in the area turned up nothing. Later, on May 16th, a man collecting mushrooms found Cindy's red, blue, and white jacket further north up the same road. Significantly, police noted that it must have been placed there after the search as it was not found before during the search. On June 16th, everyone's worst fears were confirmed. Almost 2 months after she first disappeared, partial skeletal remains were found by a man walking his dog in a reforestation area near Springwater Township where her wallet was previously found, and 2 km northwest of where her jacket had been found. They were later identified as belonging to Cindy. Unfortunately, only her skull was recovered as animals and weather had destroyed the rest of the body and any other evidence. From the state of the partial remains, it was determined that she had been stabbed to death. On June 21st, more of Cindy's clothes, a watch, a ring, and shoes were discovered near where her jacket was found.
In September 1992, OPP made a profile of the killer, stating that the perpetrator was likely a male, in his 20s or 30s who may have known Halliday. The profiler suspected that the killer would have exhibited severe physical and emotional indicators leading to changes in his personality and demeanor after the homicide.
There was some speculation that Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka could have been involved as Kristen French's disappearance happened to occur 4 days before. However, this possible connection was eventually ruled out by investigators. No other suspects have been officially considered. Detectives believe Cindy was killed on or around the day she went missing, and that the suspect may have shown odd behaviour or appearance on the Monday or Tuesday after the 1992 Easter weekend. The OPP offered a $50,000 reward in 2006, but this did not lead to any new information. In 2006, some evidence was also re-examined using new DNA technology, but again, no luck.
As of today, 32 years have passed since Cindy first disappeared. Unfortunately, it is now a cold case, but remains part of the OPP's caseload. Cindy is remembered by family and friends as a girl who loved hockey and had dreams of becoming a social worker. Anyone with information is asked to call the OPP at 1-888-310-1122 or Crime Stoppers.
Some sources:
https://www.collingwoodtoday.ca/local-news/cindy-halliday-was-hitchhiking-home-from-barrie-when-she-vanished-in-1992-later-found-dead-3559600
https://www.blueline.ca/out-of-the-cold-file-no-3the-stabbing-of-cindy-halliday-28-years-ago/
https://www.muskokaregion.com/news/cindy-s-murder-remains-unsolved-15-years-latearticle_a53ab2b3-d758-57bb-bed6-866e95091018.html

OP asked his girlfriend to paint on the face plate of his Playstation. He is reportedly happy with it.
The comments start with memes and light roasting . But it starts to get more critical.

Good lord. I used to be an art teacher and I would never give her a passing grade. Everything about that is terrible. From choice of colours, to composition, to poor skill in applying the (clearly wrong type of) paint. It's awful on every level.
Man, now I'm wondering if any of the music teachers I had as a kid retired because of my terrible playing 😭😭😭😭
Yep, having to see atrocities like this day in, day out, really started to kill my love of art. I'd much rather create art than have to lie and try to encourage talentless people just so they could get a passing grade. I hope you still play guitar and enjoy it more now!
It's an unfortunate fact of life: If you spend the majority of your time with people who have a low skill level at something you also do, they will eventually influence your own skill level, even if it's just in terms of motivation and creativity. It will literally dull that part of your brain. If you spend time with people who are better than you, it will encourage you to up your own game (it's better that the people aren't geniuses, though, or it can backfire! Just a level or 2 better than you is best!).
No such thing as bad students, only bad teachers. Though it seems OPs girlfriend taught herself.
When they refuse to practice bc they are too busy playing guitar hero instead, how is that my fault? Such a stupid phrase.
Holy shit why is everyone being so mean? He asked his girl to paint his ps5 and she did, and he loves it. I don’t understand the disconnect. Who cares how good it looks? I don’t care how many of you teach art or have an art degree or whatever, a lot of you are clearly sad people who don’t understand relationships
I mean, he posted it on a public forum and literally asked “what do yall think??”. Can’t get mad at the opinions he asked for.
Yes I can. I just did. OP wanted constructive criticism, not “I would literally yell at my child if it made something like that”
Sorry people have opinions and give them when asked for them. And it makes you mad they don’t match yours. That’s pretty immature of you.
Agreed. A lot of these people are just embarrassing themselves with their comments, especially when involving their own children as an example. Pathetic is an understatement...OP clearly has a girl who loves him and seeing how he supports her is equally nice. Fuck these cringe ass comments.
Stop insulting the poor girl, she has a passion let her do her passion.

The drawings wouldn’t be this bad if she had gotten some honest criticism. Don’t foster infantilisation and sub-par art.

Dudes will do anything at the shot of getting laid. Once she has friend zoned you break out the rubbing alcohol and rub one out

Looks like a 7 year old did that....... Hey reddit, there's a difference between being "nice", disingenuous and flat out lying. Don't tell him "it looks good". Stop lying. It looks like ass.
Based. I agree. People are to scared to say what they really think cause they will get attacked from not being a nice guy. Fuck this modern soft internet. Em all flakes
OP expresses his gratitude to the kind comments in the thread and says that the nice comments and awards encouraged his girlfriend to finish the art piece.

I come from a family that is the typical middle class. My best friend, who I met in college, comes from a rich family. When you compare her living standards with mine, it's a huge difference. She keeps shopping for clothes and buys whatever she wants for herself. I, on the other hand, keep repeating the same 4 outfits. I've never felt animosity against her for this. I mean, it's her good luck and I'm happy for her.
I do, however, feel extremely used up because I've always given her way more than I have received in almost every situation.
This incident, however, has really been bothering me. For other times, I just try to come up with the excuse that she's just naive.
Our birthdays coincide and we bought presents for each other. I bought a top for her, in black. It was of a high-end brand. I personally had never worn that brand because it's too expensive for me. But I saved up for her because she always talked about how she wanted to own something from that brand.
When it came to her, however, she gave me a black shirt (It was from a brand that she never wears and is not high-end but I didn't think about it). I wanted a black shirt since a long time. I loved that gift!
However, a few days later, she came with a gift from another one of her friends. It was a dress. She was whining. She said that she would never wear something from that brand (referring to that girl's gift). She said that it was ugly and was really cheap (yes, she checked its price online).
She went on and on about how she gave that girl a sweater from a high-end brand, which was really expensive. She also whined about how that girl wears good brands herself but gave her that "cheap" dress.
It suddenly struck me.
She gave me a shirt from a brand that she would herself never wear. From what I know about this brand, the shirt must have been really cheap too.
I didn't talk to her about it but it got me wondering something. Someone with so much more money than me was willing to invest just that much in me. I, on the other hand, saved up for her to get her something that she'd love. Maybe it's not about the brand. Maybe something else.
Is it the fact that she was willing to buy that girl a high-end brand because that girl had the financial means to give something equally expensive to her too but not to me because she knew what I could and could not afford? I don't know.
What hurt me is that I see her as my best friend. I would expect her to treat me better than she would treat her other friends. But I guess that it was all just monetary... I don't know why it hurts me so much.
So, #AITAH for feeling this way?

Welcome to the tower, anime!
The interest thread posted a couple days ago got a great reception, so I’m excited to officially announce the Tower of God Rewatch!
u/laughing-fox13 and I will be your rewatch adminstrators. We look forward with anticipation to see how you surmount the challenges before you and what insights your contributions will bring. Summon your strength and show us the heights within your grasp!
What is Tower of God?
"Twenty-Fifth Bam is a boy who had only known a dark cave, a dirty cloth, and an unreachable light his entire life. So when a girl named Rachel came to him through the light, his entire world changed. Becoming close friends with Rachel, he learned various things about the outside world from her. But when Rachel says she must leave him to climb the Tower, his world shatters around him. Vowing to follow after her no matter what it takes, he sets his sight on the tower, and a miracle occurs."
"Thus begins the journey of Bam, a young boy who was not chosen by the Tower but opened its gates by himself."
-MAL Rewrite
Schedule

Rewatch Floor	Date
[Floor 1]()	June 17
[Floor 2]()	June 18
[Floor 3]()	June 19
[Floor 4]()	June 20
[Floor 5]()	June 21
[Floor 6]()	June 22
[Floor 7]()	June 23
[Floor 8]()	June 24
[Floor 9]()	June 25
[Floor 10]()	June 26
[Floor 11]()	June 27
[Floor 12]()	June 28
[Floor 13]()	June 29
[Season 1 Discussion]()	June 30

Post Time
A new floor will be opened every day at 10pm UTC/6pm EST/3pm PST. Please note that I will be administering floors Sunday-Thursday, while u/laughing-fox13 will be administering floors Friday-Saturday.
Series Information
MAL Anilist Kitsu AniDB ANN
Streaming Options
Tower of God is available to stream subbed and dubbed on Crunchyroll.
Reminders
There will be one week and 24-hour reminders before the tower opens. If you would like reminders, please reply to the tag thread in the comments.
For Rewatchers and Source Readers
Please understand that every test and challenge has rules. The rules for this challenge dictate adherance to standard anime rules and ettiquette and that all references to future events be placed behind spoiler tags. As your administrators, we will see that any untagged spoilers within the tower in violation of this rule will be removed.
An Administrator's Advice For All Challengers
The tower is harsh and unforgiving. While it is possible to climb alone, I believe it best to climb together. Though we all come from different, and sometimes conflicting, backgrounds and beliefs, each has something to offer. For all our survival, it is in our best interest to accept and celebrate these different views and build on each other's wisdom, to face the tower's adversity as one. Consider these words as you venture forth, chosen inheritors of the tower's will.

Hello everyone, I (23F not originally from the UK but live in it now) really hope there's someone that can help me.
I have worked at this company for over 6 months, working in a team of 5. Today at work, I felt attacked and discriminated by my line manager ( female let's call her Kate). Kate has came to me while I was making a drink at work, and told me that my outfit was inappropriate and Kate had received previous reports about it, she didn't want to say who. I kind of froze at that moment and didn't know what to say to the statement.
I have spoken to my team leader (lets call her Lily) and Lily went to have a talk with Kate to explain how I felt. A Few hours later the manager came back and took me for a chat in another room.
Kate said that it was the CEO and another male who works at the company, which is above the manager in the company, that has reported the way I dress and that herself (Kate) sometimes gets distracted by me. Kate said (sometimes while on my desk I look up and look at you and I can't focus) I found that really weird. The other thing I found weird is that the CEO and the other male (he's always been so weird and always looking at other girls and I caught him staring at me occasionally which is made me feel really uncomfortable and other female colleagues too including Lily) only come to the office occasionally so I barely see them and I don't remember myself wearing anything revealing, so I am not sure why this complaint would come from these two?.
I have asked Kate how comes she did not respond to the complaint and get specific information from them before approaching me, and if they do lack self control around women or get distracted by women's bodies which we cannot hide our figures?, why is it my responsibility to wear conservative clothing?.
Kate responded to my question to say, it's because you were wearing fishnet stockings and the sheer top were inappropriate ( I had a top under my sheer one which covered my stomach and cleavage area, including wearing shorts under my skirt) Just to add up that I have other female colleagues wearing low tops, shorts, skirts... And none of them were being spoken to. To add to this, if I wear a skirt I always wear stockings or tights ect never bare and always have shorts under my skirt.
I always get told off about things especially from my manager Kate. I actually don't know why Kate has singled me out every time in any situation relating to work or not such as this. Other examples can be arriving at work at 9.01am and her calling my personal phone to ask why I am late (I was actually entering the office at the time). Previously Kate approached my team and spoke to me asking about a specific case where she could not locate it, this I assisted with to show where it is on the company files and even though nothing was wrong with the case, she will still remark that it was my fault she couldn't find it...
Everyone has noticed how differentiated her treatment to me and everyone at work agreed that my clothes were unrevealing and were perfectly fine.
Pls note that the dress code in the handbook is smart casual.
Could anyone advise me on what to do please? I would like to report this and other cases where I felt triggered and discriminated. If you need any more details let me know. Thank you.

So background i match with this girl who is in her 40, me early 30 Male in my area. I feel on rating scale on below average , and average at best in terms of look. This girl i think is very pretty has been looking for quite some time , and i feel like with her pretty girl like her on the market either she's looking for too much, or has a specific type of guy she's looking for. I see that she has go above and beyond in post some of the community posts in FB so i know she's definitely looking.
We talked a little bit , and will be meeting up this weekend, but i have my guard up already being that this seems to good to be true. Would think my assesment of what i view about this scenario is true about her being out of my league. I think there has to be something alarming for her to be still open even at 40 +. Photos down below
Me pic 1: https://imgur.com/a/FGvxBkw
me pic 2: https://imgur.com/a/rd5bLpT
Me pic 3: https://imgur.com/a/dimI7vR
Her pic 1: https://imgur.com/a/qqRtFi6
Her pic 2: https://imgur.com/a/5E5tAAQ
Her pic 3: https://imgur.com/a/0aoA2Iy

Chapter 120 The spectators continued cheering and whistling even minutes after the fight had come to an end. Zaon had caught the crowd by surprise. He was going to be the talk of Farcrest for the rest of the week. The perfect underdog, classless, orphaned, a bit awkward even, coming up victorious against the tyranny of levels. But that was only part of the picture. Zaon had demonstrated the vast difference in skills between him and a combatant nine levels ahead of him.
The victory put us seven points ahead, but what mattered the most going forward was the three points Zaon had lost. Team Nara’s Soldier might not be half as a competent fencer as Zaon but his proficiency with Quick-Step had given him three undisputed points. The Soldier knew when to use the skill to reap the most benefit, and I assumed all our opponents would be the same going forward.
The more skills our opponents had, the harder it would be for the kids.
“Contenders, please enter the arena,” the Master of Ceremonies’ voice echoed over the crowd’s roar. “Ilya the Hunter versus Arel Nara the Warrior!”
Despite Zaon’s victory, I couldn’t help but feel nervous. The Warrior class had a better skill pool than the Soldier class. Ilya grabbed my hand, cutting my musings short.
“Something wrong?”
I examined her face, but she just gave me a nonchalant wink and pulled me to my feet.
“Play along,” Ilya muttered as we walked to the weapons rack holding hands. “Act as if you are choosing a weapon for me. Give me the same sword as Zaon.”
Ilya was trying to fool her opponent even before the match started.
I played along and walked Ilya to the weapons rack like a father dragging his daughter to the dentist. She took the bit about ‘all war is based on deception’ too seriously, but I couldn’t blame her. Ilya had to gather every slight advantage she could if she wanted a chance in a world of average-height people.
Her act worked because Arel Nara seemed to smell her weakness as soon as we reached the weapons rack.
“Have you lost your bravado, little Gnome?” Arel Nara said as he casually grabbed an arming sword with a broad blade from the rack. The boy had the same vulpine expression as Lord Nara, but unlike his lord, his yellow and black fencing uniform revealed his strong arms and legs.
Ilya cowered behind me without letting my hand go. The System should’ve given her the Actress or Spy Class.
“Just what I thought,” Arel Nara laughed. He had grabbed a round shield and an arming sword. “It seems I won’t need this,” he added, leaving the shield back on the weapons rack and strolling into the arena with a carefree demeanor.
Lord Nara, who until that moment was furious due to the first combat, seemed to relax after seeing Ilya cowering behind me.
“Your sword is longer than his, Ilya. Aim for his hands and feet, and don’t let him close the distance. Don’t let him disarm you,” I whispered as I put the slim longsword in Ilya’s hand. “And don’t let him get under your skin.”
Ilya grunted.
“I already know, Mister Clarke! I’m used to having the reach disadvantage and to that sort of comment. I know how to fight against stronger opponents, and he isn’t half of a trash talker as Holst was,” Ilya said with an evil smile. “I got this.”
“Teach him a lesson,” I replied with a smile.
Ilya nodded and gave me her best ‘I’m-on-the-verge-of-tears’ face before turning around and walking to the center of the arena. Despite her tailor-made uniform and the longsword on her shoulder, Ilya looked completely out of place, like a small bird caught in a storm. With a shaky smile, she stood before Arel Nara, raised her chin, and squared her shoulders. I made a mental note telling her to keep her acting shenanigans to combat.
I returned to the bench, avoiding Elincia’s glance. The Fortifier applied the barriers around Ilya’s body. As before, the work wasn’t bad; it was just sloppy on the edges. The difference would be too subtle to catch for anyone without a good grasp of mana detection. Even if I complained now, the Fortifier could brush me off, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t brewing a plan.
“She’s using that technique, uh?” Firana said.
“What technique?” I asked, sitting on the bench and patting Zaon’s shoulder. The boy leaned back with a towel on his face, still trying to control his accelerated heartbeat.
“Shu has been helping Ilya with her acting skills.”
I massaged my temples, worried. The news wasn’t at all surprising. I was already familiar with the little harpy shenanigans. Shu might already be a genius of manipulation at the young age of seven, but I didn’t foresee the little harpy teaching her dark arts to others.
Arel Nara greeted the crowd, his perfect smile reeking of overconfidence. Then, he walked to the Prince’s box with sluggish movements and bowed deeply. Arel Nara might be a braggart, but not a complete fool. He deliberately stalled combat as much as possible while Ilya trembled like a leaf with her longsword tight against her chest.
The Master of Ceremonies let the performance continue for a few seconds, unaware of the fact the battle had already started.
“Combatants, to the center!” He finally announced.
Arel Nara strolled back to the center of the arena, mindlessly swinging his sword and stretching his shoulders. Ilya remained still.
“The fight will end when one of the participants runs out of barriers. There will be no pause between barrier breaks. If you want to give up, raise your hand,” the Master of Ceremonies repeated the rules, looking at Ilya. “On guard!”
Ilya imitated Zaon’s guard, the pflug, not giving her opponent a single hint of the skills she had on her sleeve.
“Fight!”
Ilya stepped forward and swung at Arel Nara’s shin. The boy raised his leg out of the way and countered with a jumping attack that landed on Ilya’s chest. The girl fell on her back, but instead of going for the following attack, Arel Nara turned his back to Ilya and riled up the crowd.
Ilya used her sword to stand up. When she raised her guard, Arel Nara spun around, pushing her sword to the side. Ilya answered with a choreographed thrust, but Arel Nara dodged with enough time to get to Ilya’s side and deal a powerful blow with the pommel of his sword.
Ilya slammed the ground again, her uniform and face covered in dust. The crowd was ruthless, cheering for the strongest warrior. The underdog concept didn’t seem to exist in this world, which wasn’t surprising considering that underdogs, lesser Classes, had marginal opportunities to win against a more powerful opponent.
Ilya was two barriers down.
“You chose the wrong Class, Gnome. Your kind belongs to a workshop, not the battlefield.” Arel Nara taunted Ilya. “I don’t know what lies your Caretaker whispered in your ears, so let me be clear. You are falling short of the mark.”
Ilya separated her feet and adopted the vom tag guard, angering her opponent.
“You asked for it,” Arel Nara grunted as a wave washed over the Warrior’s body, and with a mighty cry, he cast a fortifying spell.
Ilya assessed the situation instantly and channeled her power but didn’t use any skill. She remained vigilant. Arel Nara performed a jumping thrust followed by a quick slash. Ilya parried the first attack and ducked in time to dodge the follow-up.
The crowd yelled for blood, but Ilya used her longer blade to keep Arel Nara at bay, aiming at his hand instead of his body. It was a clever tactic. She not only had the reach advantage, but a longsword packed the power of both arms, unlike the arming sword used with a single hand. Arel Nara burned his mana trying to break Ilya’s defense, but the girl was used to fighting against Wolf and Firana.
Being the ‘worst’ student had its benefits. During sparring, Ilya always fought larger, stronger, or more skillful opponents, and she had developed a system to make up for the difference in body span. Ilya’s defensive style was perfect for zoning out aggressive opponents. Moreover, Ilya was a smart fighter.
Arel Nara burned his mana to get a hit, but Ilya defended like a porcupine. The more Arel Nara approached, the more chances he had of getting stung, and he wasn’t willing to lose a single barrier against Ilya. Not taking a shield was costing him dearly. Longswords had a bad matchup against an arming sword paired with a shield.
Arel Nara attacked once more, unleashing a flurry of strikes. Ilya retreated, dodging and blocking, but the fortifying spell wasn’t in vain. Arel Nara pushed Ilya’s sword aside and seized the opening on the girl’s defense. With a quick step forward, he secured a clean slash across Ilya’s chest. The girl tried to riposte, but he retreated before she could hit.
Ilya was three barriers down and hadn’t broken a single one yet.
Arel Nara’s assault was relentless, and Ilya was starting to breathe heavily; dust and sweat covered her, and even her stance was getting sloppy at times. Ilya was a more skilled fighter, but Arel Nara’s stamina was superior; a prolonged fight would only benefit him.
“Not that good without a bow, are you?” Arel Nara taunted. “What are you going to do? Cast Piercing Shot with a sword?”
“I’m not the one running out of mana,” Ilya spoke for the first time in the combat.
Her words were a slap against Arel Nara’s face, who instantly interrupted the fortifying skill.
“You need four times your mana for that skill to have any effect in this fight,” Ilya taunted him. “You should try something else. Quick-step? Puncture, maybe? No? Even a Level 5 Soldier should have two or three skills at their disposal. Don’t tell me you decided to participate in the tournament with a single skill, please.”
Ilya’s taunt worked. Despite being three barriers down, she had made Arel Nara work hard for them.
“You asked for it,” Arel Nara said, channeling mana around his sword.
Ilya raised his guard, with the hilt of her sword at eye level and the point of the sword aiming forward. Ochs. She braced for the attack, but Arel Nara remained still. Then, he let the sword go, but it didn’t fall. Instead, the sword floated by his side, pointing menacingly at Ilya.
“I’m not a Soldier. I’m a Warrior,” Arel Nara grunted.
The sword flew in a straight line like a bullet, but Ilya blocked it. What she didn’t expect was Arel Nara running forward. The boy channeled mana and cast Iron Skin around his leg as he threw a high kick. Ilya leaned back, dodging by millimeters, but before she could counter against her unarmed opponent, Arel Nara’s sword flew back at her, stabbing her shoulder blade and breaking the fourth barrier.
Arel Nara smirked.
“Your choice, getting kicked or stabbed,” he said. “Forget that. For a Gnome, getting kicked might be more appropriate.”
Ilya smirked back. “That’s it? If you have any hidden skill, I warn you, this might be the moment to use it.”
The arming sword came back to life, spinning and circling Ilya, threatening to attack at any moment. Ilya remained impassive. She had prepared a plan. Mana surged from her chest, and just as the blade launched forward, a thick vine shot from the ground. The sword pierced the vine from side to side, but before Arel Nara could yank it back, the vine coiled around the blade like a boa constrictor.
Arel Nara strengthened his body and made a run for the sword, but Ilya stood in his way.
“Did you lose something, idiot?” She grinned as she thrusted.
Arel Nara cast Iron Skin and blocked Ilya’s blade with his forearm. The skill shrouded his barriers, preventing them from breaking, but the girl didn’t stop. She weaved a series of attacks and feints in a single fluid movement. Arel Nara retreated, casting Iron Skin around his arms and legs to block Ilya’s blows. Each time Ilya swung the sword, a chunk of Arel’s mana was blasted into the air until the signs of Mana Exhaustion started to show. Ilya ran him down, and the boy’s movements became erratic.
In a desperate last attempt to recover his sword, Arel Nara channeled all his remaining mana into the blade and tried to overpower Ilya’s vine; however, the girl effortlessly countered with her much bigger reserves. Sword and vine fought, but in the end, the vine imprisoned the blade against the ground.
“Your choice, surrender or get stabbed by a Gnome,” Ilya mockingly said.
[Awareness] brought Ilya’s words to my ears. A quick lesson in sportsmanship might be needed, but I decided to leave it for later. Ilya was making a statement. Not only was she a competent fencer, but she was also an intelligent fighter. The best part: she only used a fraction of her power.
Arel Nara gestured to raise his hand, but Ilya smacked it down with her sword before he could completely raise it: one barrier down, nine to go. Arel Nara opened her eyes in surprise. Ilya pressed the attack, breaking barrier after barrier until Arel Nara was left with only one. The spectators changed sides the moment the tides turned, roaring every time Ilya penetrated a barrier.
Arel Nara was trapped against the arena wall.
“I care very little about what you say about me, but I will not tolerate any ill comments against Mister Clarke. Idiot.” Ilya said, lowering her sword. “You have two options now. You can surrender or make a further fool of yourself trying to retrieve your sword.”
It had been a while since one of my students made me blush.
Arel Nara unenthusiastically raised his hand and returned to the pavilion with his head down before the Master of Ceremonies could announce his defeat. Ilya retrieved Arel Nara’s sword, or rather made the vine do it for her, and walked to the Prince’s box. She performed a gracious bow and saluted the spectators with an innocent smile. I couldn’t decide if the crowd was happy for Ilya or gloating at Arel Nara’s defeat.
Among the seats of the high nobility, Ginz leaned over the handrail with half of his body outside the box. A member of the royal army frantically grabbed him by the belt to prevent him from falling into the arena. Ginz would’ve made a great English hooligan if he had been born in London or its surroundings. I couldn’t help but share the feeling, but my position required me to maintain a certain level of composure.
Ilya skipped toward Ginz and high-fived him before returning to the pavilion.
____________
First Prev Next (Patreon)
____________
Discord Royal Road Patreon

I have a formal event coming up at the end of next week, and I went dress shopping at Macy's. I was excited to do it at first, but when I stepped into the fitting room with that mirror setup that shows you at every angle...wow, that hit hard.
I have such a shitty masculine body and side profile. I feel like... wide? But not overweight? I teeter on the border of overweight for my BMI, but other than a bit of the dreaded beer gut that's developing (and I'm desperately trying to burn off), I don't really feel or look overweight. But my shoulders are broad and strong looking, my chest is wide across. I've had what I believe is gynomastia because I had some man boobs even when I was younger and it didn't look proportional to my weight. It all makes my whole body look wide and women's clothes unflattering.
And that's not to mention my stupid skull. I think it could be worse, but my chin, nose and brown bone all jut out a bit in a way that's really unflattering to my feminine presentation... I've managed to feel cute for the most part when trying on clothing and makeup and taking pictures, but those pictures are always a front view. And light reflecting off my stupid brow bone always takes me out of it. I'm pretty sure I want to pursue FFS, but I only started HRT just under a month ago and I'm not sure how long I have to wait.
I see such gorgeous women on here, and I'm always happy for them, but once in a while, in moments like these, I get so jealous.. I want my boobs to come in, I want my face to be softer and more feminine, I want dainty shoulders and proportions... I want to be a pretty girl, dammit. And I can't shave my face regularly right now because I just started electrolysis and my god it's felt so much worse to keep the hair than I expected. I don't feel comfortable wearing makeup or fem clothes while that hair is there, so I'm just here boymoding desperately wanting to feel pretty and... bleh.
Honestly, I feel grateful for a lot of things, like having less/thinner body hair in general, small wrists, a voice that's naturally closer to the androgynous pitch range, maybe even the gynomastia will ultimately be helpful in the end. But aghhh I want to be prettyyyy, pleaseeee 😭
Very long whiney post, thank you for making it this far and have a lovely rest of your day ❤❤

Good morning sisters and brothers, fellow Saints of our aspirational Zion. I was asked to speak and allowed to decide what the topic would be. After a lot of consideration I felt inspired to speak about being Actively Engaged in a Good Cause and how that relates to the full name of the church.
I was glad when President Nelson decided to put more emphasis on the full name of the church. Not that I mind using the term Mormon, but because I do find the full name of the church to be significant. When the church was organized in 1830 it was called the Church of Christ. In 1834 the members voted to change the name of the church to the Church of the Latter-day Saints. Then in 1838 Joseph had a revelation for the name to be The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. While this effectively combined the two previous names, it also highlights something that I think most people overlook. Namely that the church is not only Jesus’s church, but that the church also belongs to us, the Latter-day Saints. We too have ownership of the church. While this may sound strange at first, it actually also fits very well with another concept that Joseph Smith taught: Theodemocracy.
Joseph spoke of this most actively the year before his death when running for President of the United States and when the Council of Fifty was created. The idea also holds in it that while God is in charge, we also have ownership and must have a say, actively vote, propose new ideas, and generally be actively engaged in moving things forward. It is not a theocracy with a fake voting system attached like that of North Korea. However, we have largely seen our own tradition move from one in which we do things by common consent including adding to our canon or as in 1834 voting to change the name of the church, towards something much more akin to voting in North Korea. This has coincided with other shifts in which we have taken less and less ownership of our church and as a result failed to properly sustain and support our leaders.
It is unfair to our leaders for us to sit back and wait for them to do frankly most of the heavy lifting when it comes to the running and functioning of our church, stake, and ward. In the past when I’ve been in callings that required me to be overseeing the assignments of home teaching or really any other church assignments, my experience has been that occasionally some inspiration will strike for some of the assignments, but that for the majority, I felt like I was left to figure out myself what assignments seemed to make the most sense. I know that many leaders that I have spoken to on this topic have also had such experiences. When we as members speak with our leaders, share information with them, it makes it much easier to make the best decisions. Without that feedback much more is left to guesswork.
We need to support and sustain our leaders, but this becomes difficult or challenging if we bring some assumptions to the table when considering how we do this. A major one as I see it is when we put too much trust in the arm of the flesh and grant our leaders infallibility or the lesser but largely equivalent functional infallibility.
As the saying goes: “Catholics say that the Pope is infallible, but none of them believe it. Mormons say that the Prophet is fallible, but none of them believe it.” Brigham Young recognized the potential for harm in this setting and said:
"I am fearful [the Saints will] settle down in a state of blind self-security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purposes of God in their salvation, and weaken the influence they could give to their leaders, did they know for themselves, by the revelations of Jesus, that they are led in the right way.” – Brigham Young 1862 General Conference (quoted in General Conference of the church in 1963 and in 1989)
And this one is also important:
"And none are required to tamely and blindly submit to a man because he has a portion of the priesthood. We have heard men who hold the priesthood remark, that they would do anything they were told to do by those who presided over them, if they knew it was wrong; but such obedience as this is worse than folly to us; it is slavery in the extreme; and the man who would thus willingly degrade himself should not claim a rank among intelligent beings, until he turns from his folly. A man of God… would despise the idea. Others, in the extreme exercise of their almighty authority have taught that such obedience was necessary, and that no matter what the saints were told to do by their presidents, they should do it without asking any questions. When Elders of Israel will so far indulge in these extreme notions of obedience as to teach them to the people, it is generally because they have it in their minds to do wrong themselves.” – Millennial Star, vol.14 #38, pp. 593-95
Yet does this functionally happen in the church? Do we follow this council to find out for ourselves instead of simply assuming everything from our leaders is divine? Apostle Charles W. Penrose, who would later serve as counselor to President Smith, declared:
"President Wilford Woodruff is a man of wisdom and experience, and we respect him, but we do not believe his personal views or utterances are revelations from God; and when ‘Thus saith the Lord’, comes from him, the saints investigate it: they do not shut their eyes and take it down like a pill.” – Millennial Star 54:191
Do we do this? When the prophet says “Thus saith the Lord” do we take the time to investigate it? Do we remember President Kimball’s reaction to Elder Benson’s talk on the “14 fundamentals of following the prophet”?
"Spencer felt concern about the talk, wanting to protect the Church against being misunderstood as espousing ultraconservative politics or an unthinking “follow the leader” mentality. The First Presidency again called Elder Benson in to discuss what he had said and asked him to make explanation to the full Quorum of the Twelve and other General Authorities… A First Presidency spokesman Don LeFevre reiterated to the press the day after the speech that it is “simply not true” that the Church President’s “word is law on all issues—including politics.” – Lengthen Your Stride – Working Draft, by Edward Kimball
I’ve had the opportunity to know some great Mormons who do take this approach, but I’ve also known many who treat quotes from church leaders like downloaded messages from God (no human filters involved).
If we can believe that God is capable of inspiring our leaders, surely we can believe God is capable of letting us know when they’re wrong. If instead we assume that their judgment is always superior to our own, perhaps we’re helping to put up a massive iron gate.
"How often has the Holy Spirit tried to tell us something we needed to know but couldn’t get past the massive iron gate of what we thought we already knew?" – Dieter Uchtdorf 2012 Worldwide Leadership Training
Moses once opined “Would that all the Lord's people were prophets, that the Lord would put his Spirit on them!” We have all been confirmed members of the church and in that confirmation told to receive the Holy Ghost. It is easy to forget that when the spirit tells us something, that is a member of the Godhead speaking to us. If we can believe that God can give guidance to our leaders surely we can also believe God can give us guidance.
Another important and often overlooked point is the context to this oft quoted verse:
"We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion." -D&C 121:39
This statement wasn’t given in a vacuum. It is in the middle of a long discussion of priesthood and priesthood authority. This is talking specifically about priesthood leaders. When we read that “many are called but few are chosen,” we’re reading that many priesthood leaders abuse their power and only few truly honor it. The saints in Joseph’s day understood this. I think we’ve sanitized it over the years to make it seem like an aside, an intermission on the discussion of priesthood. This statement is as true now as ever. This verse, with its proper context, needs to be a lesson for us as members. We need to sustain and support our leaders. This doesn’t mean following them blindly. This doesn’t mean we must become “yes-men” to them. This does mean pray for them to be chosen instead of just called. This does mean to influence our leaders to do God’s will. Remember, one of Brigham’s concerns about us acting as if all our leaders decisions were divine is that it will “weaken the influence [we] could give to [our] leaders.”
What questions our church leaders will take to the Lord are impacted by our own openness to those things. In 1977 President Kimball expressed concern that if the Race-ban on priesthood was removed that there would be pushback from members in the American South and from some in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. When President Hinckley was asked in an interview about the Gender-ban on priesthood his response was that “there’s no agitation for it.” Until we better engage in our own history and understand how we got to where we are now it will be very difficult if not impossible for us as members to be prepared for the removal of the current gender-ban on priesthood.
Sometimes we might justify our own spiritual laziness by saying that while our leaders are fallible that God will never let them lead us astray, granting them a sort of functional infallibility. Nevermind that this was first said when my 3rd-great-grandpa President Woodruff was trying to convince members not to leave over the Manifesto. Nevermind that it means that we’re denying our leaders their agency by assuming that God removes their ability to make mistakes in their callings. Maybe some make such a statement more nuanced. Maybe they think that our leaders can make mistakes, but they won’t be majosignificant mistakes. Well, what is and isn’t significant depends a lot on who you are and how you’re being affected by it. I’m thinking that the women and children who were slaughtered in prophet-sanctioned genocide in the Bible considered that a significant mistake. I’m thinking that the thousands denied temple blessings their entire lives because of the color of their skin might consider that significant.
Let’s just recognize that few are chosen and that we need to give our leaders constructive/interactive support. We place a lot of responsibility on our leaders and they are very likely to make mistakes. Because they are human and doing their best, but as humans we all err from time to time. Recognizing the mistakes of our leaders is essential to giving them true support; it is vital to sustaining them. I would hope that we would avoid enabling or cheerleading bad decisions that friends or family are about to make. Pointing out why a decision will be or was problematic is what we expect of people who we truly love and support us, because it helps us to avoid pain and pitfalls and enables us to be our best.
Here’s a story from our little section of Salt Lake City in which members recognized the potential for mistakes and took ownership of our church. On August 23rd, 1896 Stake President Angus M. Cannon proposed a man to be the bishop of a new ward which was to be divided from the Sugar House Ward. The congregation voted against the proposed new bishop. President Angus M. Cannon then purportedly shouted "Sit down! and shut your mouths, you have no right to speak!" When Cannon engaged in a shouting match with the dissenting congregation, a ward member and policeman threatened to arrest the stake president for disturbing the peace. President Cannon more calmly repeated his attempt but was voted down "again several times." The Secretary of the First Council of the Seventy was in attendance and wrote in his journal: "I have been taught that the appointing power comes from the priesthood and the sustaining power from the people and that they have the right of sustaining or not sustaining appointees.
When it comes to being actively engaged in church endeavors our neighborhood and the general Sugar House area has done a lot. The "stake missionary program" began in the Granite Stake under President Frank Taylor in the early 1900s. It was an idea presented to President Taylor who then prayerfully considered trying it out as a stake. It proved successful and was later picked up by the General Authorities who made it a church-wide program.
The seminary program was also started in our stake after Joseph Merrill (a newly called member of the Granite Stake Presidency) felt inspired to start it and worked out agreements with the school board and got it going at the very new (at the time) Granite High School.
Also, in 1909 the Granite Stake started a monthly family home evening program. After counseling with many sisters and brothers in the stake, the Stake Presidency asked each family to spend Tuesday evening home together. All of these were local things which were eventually picked up and run at the church-wide level. We have a history in our area of being anxiously engaged and pioneering with new ideas.
While those are all instances of members, wards, and stakes starting programs for good causes in our area of Salt Lake City, they are just a few examples of Saints starting inspired efforts which were eventually accepted and promoted by the top church leaders. The relief society started when women in Nauvoo came together to do some good. The Primary program, Sunday school, Mutual Improvement Association, welfare/farming, organized genealogy efforts, and Young Adult programs all also started as members and local leaders were anxiously engaged and thereby gave influence to the top church leaders.
So as we consider how we can more actively engage in the church and look at what we can do now that would help to further the kingdom of God, I’d like to share a few things that have been on my mind which I feel would be steps which we can do now and which doesn’t require any new doctrines, revelations, or organizational adjustments from our leadership.

1. Give leaders their agency and remove the false idol of functional infallibility

I’ve already said a lot about this. The only thing I’ll add is to encourage everyone to read and learn about our history. The church history department has been putting out a lot of new, well-researched material, and there is a very high chance that it will be different than how you learned about things over the last several decades. Interestingly, most historically thorny topics become vastly easier to deal with when we stop denying leaders agency and ability to get things wrong.

1. Stop turning into a time capsule of the 1950s

This is really a small thing, but sometimes small things can have an outsized impact. Assuming someone comes into church for the first time, they will likely be a little weirded out because in dress and culture they walked into a time capsule of the 1950s. The Amish did this with mid-1800s, some Mennonites have as well. FLDS have with when they split in the 1930s/40s. These groups that have followed this pattern of freezing time and culture because they have been integrated into their religious practice are generally ones that are not really growing and have little-to-no impact or relevance in society. If we want to do the most good and build the most bridges, it is easier to do if we don’t continue falling into this pattern. Any efforts on our part to make our meetings look like a place that people in the public could come into and not feel out of place are steps in this direction. Dresses, suits and ties aren’t part of Christ’s gospel. Missionary clothing is changing for similar reasons. New guidelines for missionaries include allowing sisters to wear pants and Elders to go without jackets, so surely we can extend the same to our church attendance.

1. Always speak at church as though the audience is the general public

I have many times felt like I didn’t fit in or belong at church, and many times this has been because people speaking at church have done so with the assumption that everyone in the building must share their views on a given topic. Simply imagining that a gay couple, an ex-mormon, an investigator, some in the midst of a faith crisis, and others who live in our neighborhood are in the audience will help us to make sure that as we teach our lessons, give our talks, etc. that we will do so in the most open and welcoming way possible, which frankly is how i believe Jesus would have spoken. I truly believe that if we try to do this it will drastically improve our lessons and dialogue and help to make church a place that more people want to be. It is a change that (to borrow imagery from Jesus’s parable of the sower) will be akin to tilling and prepping the soil to improve the likelihood of allowing seeds to take root.
There are near infinite ways that we can innovate and get engaged in good causes. Awake and arise, join in the cause of Zion. The aspiration of Zion is to be of one heart and one mind and have no poor among us. I think it is worth noting that being of one mind doesn’t mean agreeing on everything. It means that we are united in love; love for God and for all persons. When this is our top priority, when we worry about how our actions impact others and whether our words and actions are conveying love, we become united. I’ve been a long-time fan of Eugene England’s essay “The church is as true as the gospel.” In it he makes the case that the church is true because it is a vehicle in which we are able to actually try to put the gospel into practice. In doing so we encounter difficulties as we interact with other fallible mortals and try to navigate our interactions in a Christ-like way. We all try and this mix of imperfect people who unite in love and service can help to bring each other and others to Christ. It is my prayer that we can find ways to engage with love, and humble ourselves like little children, to change our ways as needed to come closer to Christ. I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.