M21 I'm doubting if it was strict parenting or if it was the drink but I want opinions. She has done a lot but I don't feel entirely satisfied either. But in the days I have drafted this, my doubts only grow.
As a kid my mom hawked over me and now things I wish I could have experienced did not exist, like going to a park or playground with a friend without supervision, whereas she did. Going to the gas station for snack I couldn't, when she asked her parents and was given a quarter when everything was a cent. Riding a bike was limited to the street we live on, and when I was able to leave, I couldn't leave the neighborhood when she walked for a while to make sure her friend got home. Once sitting on my bike at the edge of the sidewalk and she walked over, cursed me out for going on a different street and wouldn't believe me. I couldn't go to a friends house because I was going to do my homework how my teacher taught me instead of hers, which I didnt know and was not taught. At a friends house, she berated me for making her wait in the car for a few minutes longer than the arranged pickup time. By comparison to what it would have been like, it is a magical opportunity lost.
For most of my school years, all I did was go to school, do homework and play games. Despite catching on to lessons quickly, classes were something to pass, nothing more, not even for life skills. Have a B? Make it an A. I did. Is the project due? Make it better. Alright. Taking orchestra and painting was fleeting then and while I enjoyed it, it was only done for practice or assignment. Now I am upset that it was all I did instead of going out and experiencing life: going out with friends, finding a club or sport to do, or just big activity sessions. Never had a curfew because I never left home to start. I may have had fun gaming then, but I lament heavy over that now to where I will not touch one. A future education and the future as a whole I should have taken a lot more seriously than I could possibly have imagined. School did push for it, but I was a fool and did not care.
Other than the occasional family visit, I did nothing and learned nothing. Never taught to cook much, properly clean, shop for necessities, make right finances, etc. Future prospects was left to whatever I would choose, which I would put it later down the road. Never got any real world experience and just been sheltered for so long, both by my doing and my moms. No drive to do anything, nothing of a hopeful future, no being pulled out of whatever I was doing to learn anything or having skills necessary in the world today be incentivized. Aside from making sure I did well in school, I was left to myself.
She always has something to complain about. Streaks of mean and grumpy. Remembered somethings of what we were interested in but other times just an empty face. Who my mom is today is doom and gloom, speaking two different points that are showing the worst of her and nitpicking over every possible detail. Most of who she enjoys in media has an underlying toxic presence to them with name calling. Polarize, prejudice, politicize, judge and bias everything. Norway and Iceland? Too cold and mountainous, how could anyone have settled there? Germany? They all speak the same language and cannot understand anyone in a city that is 30 minutes away. That guy's accent she can't stand and defaulted to being generated, even though he sounds the same speaking Finnish. All for a better planet yet everything is wasted, trashed, or sent to China. Treat others how you want to be and from where I stand, seem like a backtalking coward. Couldn't have a water pitcher because "no one refilled it" to keep the filter going when I made sure to keep it plentiful. If she has a problem she will bring up the one exact same example related to the topic that I have heard plenty before. And most of the negative aspects of society happen more likely than they should. All while bring home a 24, 30 or however many count of budweiser a week at least. I imagine we only got along because I wasn't a brat anymore and did not try to upset her. Falling in line if you will.
Emotions bottled or maybe emotionally dead. The masculinity trap of what is the general expectation of "men". To express myself, to show emotion, to even cry is something I don't want to do out of fear of being seen, which is ironic given the code of the samurai. 6th grade she didn't remember to pick me up even though I said and called and a friend and his friend caught me being emotional and stayed around a bit to comfort me.
The fear that was put into everything. An actual quote went something as "If you get hurt, I'm not going to drive you to the hospital". Another "All girls are evil". And "that sounds too confrontational" when I asked neighbors to clean after their dog. Even questioning if my eyes doing something required a doctor for her to say that my eyes will fail naturally and something about her relative who had an eye problem and didn't see a doctor. Things that made me not do the kinds of things I want to do now. I have been so sheltered then and now that I want to go out but there is the ever scared part of me towards the unknown world. I feel I have been prejudiced into thinking such ways but there's no personal experience to back or challenge said thoughts.
Admittably, parts of me are glad I know what I have and want for morals and mindset, but its also a matter of temptation and theres still so much that I wish to explore. At times I feel I matured too quickly at the cost of a kids stupidity or innocence and now am too serious and heavyhearted for my own good. To be told how I've matured when there wasn't much to mature from. A part of me feels that I have taken after her cold, judgemental, selfish attitude and that makes me fearful to screw up any kind of friendship or relationship, and dreading that I could reflect that onto any child I may have no matter how far away into the future I do have one. I kind of want to hate her but I am so emotionally gone or warped that I can't. If I "rebel" now, or begin to, I feel that might get the fire started.
She would argue with my dad from time to time but then that continued on for days and it was a cold environment lasting days to weeks after a fight. Even prior to their fights, they rarely slept together in the same bed, let alone the same room. She would critique his employer and even his choice of friends. Once he woke up late, thus having us late to get ready for school and she began one for that. I don't remember the exact details but she once criticized him over a coat he got me. All while listening from the top of the stairs to even the bottom where I was covered by a wall. A few times we listened and we made noise that I think made them aware of us but that didn't stop them. Even starting in our presence where we would leave the room. It got to the point where he actually packed lightly to leave for the night or days and my brother and I stopped him just so he could be home. I wish I did let him go then.
I really do believe I could have had it differently if my dad was alive. He made such an effort. When I was in hospital at 4, he made the efforts to get me out and moving around. When I didn't know a swim style, he literally chucked me towards the deeper waters (I was scared, but he was right in the end, one of the fondest memories). He taught me how to use the mower and had a mini shop set up in the garage. I played with him so much and he got me into the complex games he enjoyed as I got older. For as rough we were, he was so gentle. I looked up to him then and even more than ever now. He made the effort to be one worthy of "Dad" and he was damn well worthy of that and no one could be more better for me.
"Faded gray are all the days of yesteryears So much time has turned to memories and to tears" -Valkyrja
I did graduate HS 3 years ago, did a summer program and since nothing. No job, education chances, or life plans. Even though I felt smarter, I was turned off of college simply for cost reasons and "feeding the rich" mindset. Last summer I began to look at my past and future with a whole new look with no physical change taking effect. First week into March this year I realized what I have been doing compared to how others are living through good and bad and I fell into depression hard. Now it persists with great off and on. Where I have been up at 9 in the morning to suddenly be up at 5 or 6 in the afternoon. Throughout the past 3 years, there was no making sure I was ok, no seeing how I felt, no finding out what I wanted to do. And I am still frightened of what may be out there, even when that is the key to the living that I want. I want to go, I need to go. But where? I leave for the good and better of myself, but I also leave behind this place I've called home, yet it's now so far from the one I want to remember with a fond memory. So much happens that seems to have been "normal" when it doesn't seem like it should. The same place with the same inhabitants in the same motions. No going out, no difference, no change, and VERY artificial. Nothing means anything anymore. To let how I feel about the previous years subside in me or blow over...
Always have been insecure, hesitant, second guessing. While others had spent their 18s, 19s and 20s going into the world doing many things, I've had the summer program at 18, nothing at 19, and two days in the big city to attend a concert at 20. Little noteworthy moments under my belt. It seems like love in the immediate family was not two ways or had to be earned. I have not grown. Who I am is not who I want to be at heart.
For 21, I know I should have more skills and be in better places, but theres nothing from anyone. No check-in, no advice, no motivation. Like "the birdling will leave the nest" instead of anyone preparing a boy to what is before him. Its not a snap of fingers or blink of an eye do I learn what is expected. On the grown up part, I feel heavily underprepared for the world and life. Far too long have I stayed and lived in my head. I cannot understand why I am still at home, a part of myself thinks to keep the peace but what peace needs to be kept? Nothing and no one is stopping me from leaving except myself and the thought that they will most definitely want to know where I am if I go, which I do not want to tell anyone. Or that I've been sheltered and not have realised the gates have been unlocked long ago. Things are not ok and I want to stop pretending when I leave. Even with Spring's green grass under a blue sky that ends the day with the orange sunset piercing the clouds to make them blue and pink do I feel grey.
"Watching to the night with tired eyes Waiting for nothing all my life" -Battle Against Time
I feel the kid within me, wanting to do those exciting things, yearning for any kind of companion or fellowship. What daylight reveries I can conjure to make him feel hopeful enough so he can shine soon. The things I want to do to feel happy. I want to water that little guy.
A lot of this I have remembered recently and still am connecting the dots. I already am upset at myself for not doing anything in life, but I want to be angry and I honestly hate myself for not seeing this sooner and listening to her for so long. Despite feeling broken and defunct, I still feel young enough but there's been so little done that it feels many chances are long gone. There is more freedoms I have that I do not know about and ones that I have had before that gathered dust. And now I am in a toss up between beginning college preparation now, leaving states or the country to act on these now childhood regrets. I don't want to be who I am now any longer. I just want to do something. And in between it all, confusion of what to do, how to feel and saddened that I am not who I once was or could have been.

Don't come after me for my lingual mistakes, English isn't my mother language.
We started dating back in January 2019. He became my everything. My happiness, joy, euphoria... I was dealing with a lot of shit at home and tried to kms sometimes, and each time he tried to stop me and listened to me cry for days and weeks and months. At that time, I hadn't gotten my diagnosis, yet. I went to several therapy and one place even gave me a prescription for bipolar disorder, a mood stabilizer. At the same time, the tension between my parents and i reached another level of hatred and spite. I got kicked out of the house. I had/have no close friends. So I called him and took to the subway. I was so numb, I felt nothing and at the same time, I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I stayed at his place for a while. And then moved to two other places until we finally decided to move in together. Better said, I moved into his apartment.
A little background: Keep in mind, that my parents behaviour was due to their religious and cultural background. I fked myself by trusting and telling my parents about my relationship with him. From that moment on, my father called me "carcinogen", "misery and shame bringer". My mother called me a whore, a prostitute... They blamed me for everything. Even if it was about their marriage, they blamed me. My mom told me always that I hated her, ever sense I was a newborn baby, cause I cried a lot and didn't let her go to gathering and enjoy her time. She kept on pushing this idea into my head. She talked shit behind him, which made me feel tormented. Because, whenever I met his mother, she treated me with so much respect. She treated him with so much love and acceptance. For example: he visited us once and it was already very late for him to leave, it was around 12 pm and my mom said in mocking tone: when will he leave? Does he think that this place is his dad's house? When I tried to tell him that he should leave, my mom insisted that he should stay. She fucked me up! She still behaves like a snake. I never felt any sort of emotional connection to her due to her behaviour. Long story short, when they kicked me out, they blamed me. They said, you always wanted to be independent so you left us on your own. We did. Nothing wrong. One night, I sat in my room and thought about my mom and his mom's behaviour. About how he was blessed with a mom who loves him unconditionally. I felt such a pain that I started cutting myself with a sharp object. I cried and cried. Called my friends and aunts and said goodbye. One of my friends called the police on me and they nearly broke the door on me. It was the first lowest point of my life. My therapist said she couldn't help me anymore.
Fast forward, when I moved into his apartment, I decided to get engaged to him to shut my parents up. They were always nagging about what people would think of an illegitimate relationship. That I would bring Shame upon the family. And that I would tarnish their reputation. I talked to him and his mom. He accepted it and his mom gave us her blessings. We went with The rituals. I wish I hadn't done it. From that day one, his behaviour changed, totally. He started doubting me. He said, he felt like he was raped mentally, because he didn't get engaged on his own terms but he did it for me and parents sake. He went through a hot-cold phase, couldn't handle simple criticism, didn't respect my boundaries... I was going through shit because of the trauma I was/am dealing with. I felt deep emptiness and loneliness. I longed for the love that I didn't receive from my parents. No amount of sex, kisses, hugs, gifts... Nothing can fulfill that hole inside my heart. He got tired of my sickness. My behaviour. My self harming. My anger and crying spells. Our relationship got cold. I was physically unable to have sex because I couldn't enjoy it and it hurt my body. I couldn't initiate physical contact. I loved him but I wasn't attracted to him anymore, partially because he kept on breaking my boundaries. He triggered me. I have a habit of biting my nails when I am stressed and I begged him so many time to stop biting his nail at least around me, cause I am trying to get rid of his habit. But as he likes to say: he forgot. His priorities are different. He had so many bad habits that went against my choices and morals. I felt distanced from him. Was he showing his true colours, now that I was in vulnerable position? Eventually, one night, he told me that he sees me as someone who has stolen his freedom because he can't date other women, have sex with them, experience all those things young people do. Tbh, I had that feeling for months. I fantasized about other guys. I don't know why this bothered me so much, now that he had told me his side of the story. But I rationalised it. I said to myself, hey this fair. You felt like this, so does he. The thing that broke me was that he told me that I wasn't good enough for him. That triggered me so much, I spiralled downward and failed an exam. I couldn't study. I couldn't sleep. I was so sick that I stabbed myself with a knife and was sent to a psychiatrist. There, I got my bps diagnosis. Started therapy, that my ex bf found for me. Each day, from the beginning of our relationship until two weeks ago, I apologised for my and my parents behaviour, for putting him under so much turmoil and stress. I felt shame and hatred towards myself. I hated myself so much that. I was truly toxic. I hurt myself physically, beat my pets, pulled my hair, had lost the track of time... I had turned into a corpse. He was my everything, I stood against my parents and sacrificed my comfort and happiness to be with him. His voice echoes in my head, you're not enoug, you're not good enough for me.
Time passed and I somehow managed to pass atleast one Moodle. One day, my ex and I fought over a boundary he had stepped over. He told me to talk to myself or someone. And upon doing so, I realised that I wasn't the only one who brought stress and conflict into this relationship. I wrote everything he had down and the boundaries he had broken and tike that he had disrespected... It was an eye opening moment. I realised that he used manipulation to make his mistakes appear harmless and funny. He stonewalled me each time I wanted to talk about serious problems. I tried to bring awareness but he wasn't listening. He used bod diagnosis against me and said that I'm being childish and over dramatic. He kept on insisting that I was lying to him. We had discussed this matter for two years and talked about respecting boundaries for four years. That was the moment, I had to make a choice and leave him. I no longer want to be responsible for his life choices. I long for a connection with him, but with each passing day, I realise that it won't work out. I can't get over his bad habits and he doesn't try to salivate this relationship. I told him to put a hiatus/ breakup and work on ourselves on our own. We will meet eachother later along to line and see, whether we will be compatible to eachother or not. At the mean time, he can date or sleep with anyone he wants as he desired freedom. I am thankful for the good things he brought to my life, but I can't ignore the bad ones for the sake of good ones. I wonder what will happen next.
Sorry for the long ass text. But tbh this is only a fraction of things that have happened to me.

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Chapter 168 – The moment to live and the moment to die
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„Jumping!“ an Ensign announced loudly as the Sun's view-windows very briefly flickered into a dark black only to go back to a full view of the ongoing battle basically instantly, having barely shifted the ship's position at incomprehensible speed. „Shot clear of allied ships.“
Vice-Admiral Kazadi tapped his finger on one of the armrests of the Commander's seat that still felt anything but comfortable for him to sit in as the tight grid of flashing lights reflected in his eyes within the twilight of the bridge.
“Fire,” he then ordered. Not even a blink later, a burst of colorful light broke into his view from the side of his very own ship, lighting up the entirety of the bridge even through the automatically tinting windows that absorbed a lot of the harmful light so the crew wouldn't flashbang themselves with each shot.
The relativity canon fire tore through the enemy ship at an almost literal instant with any travel time barely being conceivable to a mortal mind. In a large unload of energy that left almost the entire stern-side of the zodiatos ship as a molten mass of dispersing slag, the main propulsion was taken out. Simultaneously, the two accompanying cruisers had also taken their shots; with the 'Civil' taking out the engine of one more enemy vessel while the 'of the roses' had instead used its shot to disperse one of the enemy projectiles in order to buy their own hunter ships more freedom of movement. Those huge ones didn't go down easy from one of the hunters' smaller shots, so using one of the large canons to dispatch it took some of the heat off them.
Meanwhile, smaller targets on the enemy vessels, such as their own canons, were gradually taken out by said hunters, whose own fire – while able to be quite destructive if intended no doubt – could be used in a far more precise manner. With more and more of their canons failing, the protective volleys the coreworld terrorists could fire to hide themselves away also became less and less effective.
“Send the fallback-beacon,” Kazadi then ordered, since close quarter attacks became less and less necessary.
It seemed that the zodiatos had a hard time adjusting to the combat style of the human unkindnesses, however that didn't mean they should take any unnecessary risks. Even if a pilot could've been able to avoid all enemy attacks in a perfect world, he knew that his pilots were only human.
Casualties of their own had been comparatively minimal so far, however as if to prove him right about his thoughts, he could see on his surveillance screen how, just in that moment, one of their ships was taken out by an enemy craft.
He grimaced to himself and let out a mild sigh. One more family who would never see one of their own again...
It took a moment before all the ships were reached by the beacon. Due to the nature of their own combat strategies, as well as the particular nature of hyperspace, it was entirely impossible to effectively contact any of their ships directly while they were out in the battle. Therefore, the order to fall back had to be broadcast as a general signal, that each of the pilots could individually pick up as soon as they would keep still for long enough so that it could reach them.
By now, the battle was already won. None of the zodiatos' weapons were able to match the relativity canons in effective range and without the larger ships to back them up, their small hunters wouldn't be able to launch an offensive – shields or not. They could just stay back and fire until surrender now. As the signal was picked up, one of their ships after another disappeared in one last flash of hyperspace as they joined back up with the larger vessels in an enclosing formation.
“Prepare for the retrieval of some of those projectiles,” the Vice-Admiral then ordered as he hoped they would be able to track some of those spent shots their enemies had fired. They would have to figure out what kind of tech that was.
In such a small-scale conflict, it was more than manageable to face it. However, it could offer some difficulties in larger fleets – especially since they didn't know how far this kind of tech could possible be expanded and refined. It was quite possible this was just some form of prototype.
While that order was followed, one of his Lieutenants suddenly spoke up.
“Sir, we have an incoming transmission from the planet. Civilian. Not encrypted, but they seemingly had an access code,” they related quickly.
“Is the earlier interference cleared up?” he immediately asked back, to which the answer was positive. “Put it through then,” he immediately ordered as soon as he heard that.
He rubbed one of his tight braids between his fingers as he waited for contact to be established. Once the line was clear, things remained quiet for a moment.
“What are we best at?” he then asked the silent line, his chest tightening ever so slightly, even if he didn't have to wait long for a reply.
“Topping from the bottom,” a very familiar voice replied from the other end, sounding incredibly strained but most certainly alive.
The code phrase was an old in-joke about something that had been said back during humanity's first contact with the tonamstrosites due to a slightly choppy translation. However, it more than sufficed here to tell Kazadi that the person on the other side of the line was not only genuine, but also not in any immediate distress – at least none that was brought onto her by someone else.
“Good to hear your voice Ma'am,” he greeted the Admiral after taking a brief moment to allow his heart to settle.
“The pleasure is all mine, Celestin,” Admiral Krieger replied in between heavy breaths that sounded like a combination between being ready to collapse and absolutely willing to tear anyone's throat out at a moment's notice. “Excuse me for the unorthodox contact, my own means of communication have all been destroyed. Update me.”
A brief smile played on the Vice-Admiral's lips.
“No problem, Ma'am. Things are under control up here, but multiple allied coluyvoree ships were destroyed and we suffered some casualties of our own which I will take full responsibility for,” he quickly complied. “By now, the enemy crafts have been largely disabled and our fighters are falling back. What's the situation on your end?”
There was a bit of a grunt from the other side of the line that seemed unrelated to the ongoing conversation.
“I'm sure you did everything by the books,” Krieger then replied a moment later. “Down here the situation is precarious but momentarily under control. We have an unconfirmed number of casualties after an attack with an unknown weapon. All squads are either KIA or unresponsive. We took down six enemy combatants but can't confirm if there's more. I'm going to need clean up, rescue teams, as well as pickup for me and two large offworlders asap.”
Celestin nodded.
“We're in a stable position, so we'll jump teams down right away. Hold out just a minute more,” he assured her while already signing in the necessary order to the troops they had on standby. “How bad are your injuries?”
There was another groan of pain from Krieger's side.
“Crushed cranberries,” she replied after a long moment that sounded like she needed to catch her breath.
“Copy that,” Kazadi replied with a grimace. “Sending muti-team with the evac.”
“Copy that,” Krieger confirmed. “Krieger out.”
With that, the call was hung up. On his screen, Celestin could see how the preparations for dispatch of the requested teams was already well underway. Jumping towards a planet at FTL was generally discouraged by the Galactic Community. However, this was an emergency. They couldn't wait for normal re-entry.
After watching the reported progress for just a moment, his eyes returned to the ongoing battle. He watched the enemy ships as they hovered dead in space, unable to maneuver.
They seemed to have recalled their own fighters back in order to form some sort of protective wall around the 'mother ships' with their own small shields. Obviously it wouldn't be very effective, so it seemed like needless cruelty to make their own soldiers get in the way of the incoming fire. Something within Kazadi told the Vice-Admiral they weren't going to stand down.
“Sir, we're getting some strange hyperspace-readings,” his Lieutenant suddenly announced, making him look up.
“Weapon-grade?” he immediately asked, knowing they had less than a moment to react if it was. However, he also figured there would've been more urgency to their voice had it been so.
“No, Sir. Travel-grade,” the Lieutenant quickly replied. “However the readings are unusual. It seems like they are creating a stretch solely around themselves.”
Kazadi's lips shifted a bit as he took that in and he briefly ran a hand over his mouth in thought. “Prepare to collapse,” he ordered. “Maybe they will attempt some sort of running start. We can't let them get away.”
Right then, the light of what was happening had not yet caught up to the spacial distortion that their sensors were detecting, meaning the ships still looked perfectly normal – if damaged – when he looked at them. However, they were planning something. And that made them appear all the more ominous.
His mind quickly went through their own protocols. The U.H.S.D.F. employed hyperspace in nearly all its possible facets in their tactics. If it was even close to sensible, they would have something that was akin to the maneuver their foes were attempting to execute right now.
A bubble of hyperspace solely around their ships...a dodge? Hardly, there was nothing to dodge like that. An attempt to hide away? No, they knew human ships could collapse hyperspace from the outside easily.
Before him, the windows of the ship once again automatically dimmed, protecting the crew's eyes as the colorful light of the created hyperspace-bubble finally reached them.
“Hyperspace collapsed!” the Lieutenant then suddenly announced, causing Kazadi to blink in surprise as his eyes shot up to his screen. He hadn't given any order to collapse it yet. But indeed, it was gone. For a moment, he thought that the stress had caused his officer to use the wrong term in haste, however no, they had been completely right. It had not been dispersed in a controlled manner. It had collapsed.
In a mild 'thud', the Vice-Admiral's fist descended on the armrest, hand firmly clenched into a fist.
“Those cowardly ba-” he began to growl but then bit his tongue and released a low, almost grunting exhale while his fist quivered from momentarily clenching tighter. “Prepare to search for survivors,” he instead said in a much more controlled manner a moment later. “Preserve lives.”
“Yessir,” multiple of his officers echoed back as he looked out of the window, where he could still see the ghostly afterimage of the hyperspace bubble linger for a bit longer. It was always a strange feeling, seeing someone in the distance who was already dead...
–
With her view darkened and her goggles momentarily pulled off her eyes, Shida stared at the glowing bubble of impossible colors. Her sensors had already told her what was about to happen at any moment now, however her eyes still heavily constricted as they finally witnessed what unfolded themselves.
In what could be described as nothing else than a 'snap' , the light of the hyperspace-stretch instantly condensed down into its original size as the universe all at once remembered that the laws of physics were a thing that existed and brutally forced space to conform to them once again – no matter what may have been in between it and its original form.
Anything within the strange, round stretch was mercilessly ripped along with the convulsion, forcing all the injected warships and fighters into the single, small point that the stretch had been generated from. Though not even a faction of a second later, it all exploded outwards again as the megatons of mass realized that they could not all exist in the same place at once, since the energy of the event was not quite potent enough to press it all into a neutron star or singularity.
No longer recognizable blotches of undefined, white-hot matter were instantly scattered in all directions like some sort of micro-supernova that accentuated the sometimes still burning nano-stars that the earlier battle had created from the opposing fighters.
It was almost pretty...but still, Shida couldn't help but let her ears hang as she wondered how many of the enemy combatants had known about the decision to end things this way. Had any of them even been asked?
Even if it was the far more disturbing answer in a way, Shida almost hoped that this had actually been one mutual suicide-pact instead of the decision of one single commander to choose death over dishonor. Especially while sitting in a ship that was technically under the command of someone else herself, that was certainly the less immediately petrifying option – even if it would probably spell far worse things in the long run.
As she said there, the 'shockwave' of the collapsing hyperspace suddenly hit her, spreading out through space even without any medium to carry it and rocking her ship gently while also penetrating all throughout her body. Of course the earlier relativity fire had already caused similar ripples and she was therefore quite used to the feeling, however these ones sure felt a bit more severe than those of the U.H.S.D.F.'s own canons. It was like she felt her own body distort while also remaining perfectly in palace – almost like she was a stiff container full of water that someone had given a heavy smack from the side, riling up the liquid without it actually having any place to plash to.
According to everything they knew, this phenomenon felt incredibly odd but was entirely harmless to living beings – which was instinctively very hard to believe when one felt it on their own body.
However, her dwelling thoughts were, perhaps luckily, interrupted as she – or more precisely one of her scanners - picked up on a peculiar signature that one of the scattered debris pieces was sending out.
Well, it was 'peculiar' to her that there was a signal at all at first, however then she quickly realized what it actually was. This particular signal was hammered into any pilot's head six ways to Sunday, and so she reacted relatively quickly when she glanced at the grid and realized that she was the closest ship to it. Firing up her engines, she turned her ship on the spot in a slight drift before activating her generator and making a jump right behind the flying object.
Once there, she allowed her computer to take aim for a second before firing out a harpoon that quickly struck the flying debris and latched her ship onto it through a long cable, allowing her to pull the thing along with her after slowly using her backwards thrusters to disperse its speed little by little. Pressing the indicator of her communication, she then spoke up.
“Scratches to Sun,” she announced. “I just recovered a black box. Permission to return for inspection?”
The black boxes of modern ships truly were among the most ridiculous pieces of tech out there, in Shida's humble opinion. Built to withstand almost everything that would likely take a ship out through a combination of brilliant engineering and extremely flexible material that only worked in its indented manner on very small scales. Well, very small compared to the ships they were built into. The things were about half the size of Shida in the end. For many years, armies of scientists had attempted their very best to make this same sort of defense useful in ways that could maybe be used to protect actual people from catastrophic events – but to no avail so far. For now, the only thing those little marvels could allow to survive even something as ludicrous as hyperspace collapsing was information.
“Permission granted, Lieutenant-Commander,” the answer came almost immediately. “Return to hangar three.”
“Copy,” Shida replied. “Scratches out.”
With that, she moved her ship around and prepared for her jump back to the Sun. Hopefully this thing would give them some answers on what exactly this whole thing was meant to accomplish...
–
Far away in another part of the galaxy, a pair of mildly glowing red eyes was laser-focused on a large screen that was just one of many that had merged all over Nedstaniot-Station to broadcast the breaking news to anyone willing to lift their eyes at a slight angle to look at them.
An attack on a coreworld. And not just any coreworld. Gewelitten itself. Something like this hadn't happened in...well, Curi didn't even know how long.
Details seemed to still be incredibly fuzzy as the battle so close to the coluyvoree homeworld had either just happened or was still happening at the moment of the broadcast, however what few details were known were already repeated on end in an endless scroll of text that was meant to catch as many people up to speed as was at all possible through the medium of television. Obviously the same emerging details could already be looked up on the net as well to find them in a more digestible format than the endlessly moving text next to the not exactly top quality footage of the occurring conflict.
However, despite the speed with which it went by, Curi had no problem following the scroll as they stared at the screen intensely.
“Attack was unannounced. Multiple Gewelitten fleet ships destroyed. Official sources confirm: Humanity NOT the aggressor. Attacking ships presumed to be of zodiatos origin. Unknown weapon technology deployed during the attack. U.H.S.D.F. ships engaged in combat after aggression. Myiat delegation ship confirmed unharmed. Attack on government facility on planet simultaneous to spacial attack. Councilman-Candidate Aldwin confirmed unharmed. Status of U.H.S.D.F. General Krieger unknown. Status of Gewelitten Governor H. Cierrophai unknown. Status of Acting-Councilman Afuéhner unknown. Allied coreworld defense fleets activated and inbound. General alert level raised to 8. Hyperspace-travel shut down around the system.”
“Mother, oh no...” Mueen said with absolute shock in his eyes, both of his hands clasped over this mouth as his wide pupils quivered in fear from what they witnessed.
Curi could understand his worry. Though Moar had supposedly been with James, so she would probably be fine. The cyborg was certainly more than just a little relieved that James was already confirmed to be safe. Though the idea that Admiral Krieger's situation was unknown was more than just a little disconcerting.
Though despite the supposed lack of their commanding officer, it seemed like the humans had decisively won out in the battle outside of the coreworld's atmosphere; unknown technology or not.
Given the sub-par footage that some drone was likely recording from quite far away from the actual conflict, it was very hard to tell just what sort of weapon the unknown but presumed to be zodiatos attackers had unleashed there. It looked like some sort of emanating energy that destroyed what it came into contact with but also interacted with it as if it had a physical presence.
Curi had never seen anything remotely like it before – not even in their wildest theories – and their mind immediately wanted to go wild with speculations and ideas about how such a thing might work now that they knew for a fact that it was possible from seeing it with their own eyes.
However, the cyborg pulled themselves together and successfully forced the briefly almost overwhelming desire to focus on nothing else down as they shifted their gaze slightly away from the screen to look over at their other currently nearby company.
Then again, as much as they knew they couldn't let their guard down around him, Reprig's eyes were just as immovably attached to the large screen as Mueen's were as he witnessed the unfolding battle with quivering horror.
His trunk was wiggling wildly in his face and one of his hands nervously scratched over the plate of the table they were all sitting and standing at and on, right next to a piece of paper with a hastily drawn sketch of a spring-like mechanical leg that was inspired by what humans called 'running blades'. The Warrant Officer's weapon also laid on the table, pushed a but further away from his hand so he wouldn't be able to easily reach it.
Though despite his focus, Curi couldn't quite help but speak up after a moment of watching him. “A coreworld attacking another coreworld,” they said to the man, who they knew either had to know far more than they did about this – or would be far more invested in it unfolding. “This is unprecedented.”
Reprig seemed to notice that they were talking to him, however he still remained silent and stared a good few moments longer before finally pulling his gaze away from the screen.
As his eyes met theirs, he looked a bit sick. It almost reminded the cyborg of one of the first interactions they had with the man, back when they nudged him slightly to hand his spy-device back to him after he tried to hide it in James' cabin. Though this time, the cyborg was quite sure that they were not the reason why the man seemed like most of his blood was currently rushing into his stomach.
Could he actually be shocked about what was happening? Was this not part of the plan?
“Unprecedented doesn't even come close to describing it...” he mumbled and couldn't hold the cyborg's gaze for long, looking down to the table's plate instead. “And these aren't just any coreworlds. Osontjar and Gewelitten have been allied for an unimaginably long time. The thought that they would even think of attacking each other...what sort of madness could've caused something like this?”
Curi was the first to admit to themselves that they were far from the best at reading people. If someone with even a modicum of skill in acting wanted to make them believe something untrue about the person they were talking to, they would never deny that there was a good chance of that person succeeding.
Still, Reprig's reaction felt...genuine to them. As if he had actually never expected something like this to happen. Not in a million years.
Maybe it was just skillful acting. And Curi knew that they should have been suspicious like that. However, despite everything he had done, they couldn't quite bring themselves to suspect that he was lying at that moment.
“I know it is unlikely you will give me an honest answer, but-” Curi began to say, however Reprig was more than able to anticipate what they were going to ask and replied long before they were finished.
“No. No. Never,” the sipusserleng said, shaking his head heavily and standing his trunk up while making a denying gesture with his hand that was so brash that he actually knocked his crutch off the small outcrop in the table it had been laid down on. “This must be some absolutely deranged people, no two ways about it. To attack a coreword...”
Curi noticed Reprig's gaze briefly twitching down, his eyes jumping onto the personal assistant strapped to his lower arm as if he suddenly got the urge to use it for something.
Curi suspected he likely wanted to call someone; question them to make extra sure that they had, in fact, nothing to do with this. Though the sipusserleng suppressed the urge and pulled his eyes away, bringing them back up to the screen.
Just at that moment, the implosion of collapsing hyperspace suddenly lit up the footage moments before the glowing remnants of what once had been the zodiatos ships were scattered across the star-system.
Mueen mumbled something in his home's language as his eyes remained affixed to the screen. Curi couldn't even begin to guess what he was saying. However, his voice sounded pleading.
“Suicide instead of surrender?” Reprig meanwhile mouthed breathlessly as his nervous tick of excessively licking his trunk began to show.
Although he had often been otherwise employed in recent times, Curi could see it in the man's eyes that he was still, in a way, military at heart. He knew the general values and doctrines that were conveyed to the soldiers of the Communal Military, both inside and out. And the idea of someone choosing death like this...it seemed to rock him to his very core.
Slowly, he turned his gaze over to Curi. His eyes were almost pleading with the cyborg, even if they seemed to already know that his next question would be asked in vain.
“Could it maybe have been the humans and their-” he began, but this time, it was Curi's term to cut him off after anticipating what was coming.
“While humans very much employ the collapsing of hyperspace as a tactic in war, the process is not invisible – or even subtle. Had the human ships caused that collapse, it would've been noticeable,” they explained succinctly. “It could've still been a mere unexpected failure of the hyperspace generation, of course. However, with the rarity of such events, the timing seems...unlikely.”
“They weren't even trying to generate a real stretch...” Reprig concurred dejectedly and left his head hanging, his trunk also sinking down limply. “I can't even imagine- Well...I hope they will at least find peace now, away from the madness.”
Curi paused for a long moment, staring at the Warrant Officer some more. Admittedly, the cyborg was a bit confounded at something. They knew for a fact the man had put his own life on the line for his orders, with a very real chance that they would lead to his death, more than just once. And yet the idea of being ordered to die seemed to disturb him. They couldn't quite figure out the difference that led to the results in reaction being so incredibly different, however it was still very clear that there was one.
And it seemed to hit the man hard.
Self-admittedly, Curi didn't exactly pity the man. They didn't quite have the capacity to. They knew about so many horrible things he had done that simply seeing him distressed was far from enough to stir such deep empathy for him within them.
Yet still, they weren't left entirely cold by it either – and if it was only because he seemed to be affected by these events in the ways a, for a lack of a better term, 'normal person' would be. He was shocked at the sudden, seemingly senseless violence, and concerned about the people involved.
Granted, it was likely only because they were people he considered worth being concerned about, yet still, the reaction was so...'normal', in a way they didn't quite expect from someone with such a capability for unceremonious acts of cruelty and violence. Even this person who had tried to kill them, or at least had been entirely comfortable with them getting killed, was capable of such a reaction.
And Curi...wasn't sure if that made things better or worse, if they were being honest.
It felt better because there was the capability for empathy there, however...it felt worse because they felt how they had been and likely still were willingly denied said empathy.
He could have cared...he just didn't want to.
Curi shook their body heavily, causing mild sounds from the engines running their legs' movements from the sudden force as they tried to shoo away emotions that they really didn't want to be feeling at that exact moment.
The thing that mostly kept them from following up on some of their uncomfortably aggressive thoughts at that moment was the fact that Mueen was still with them, the worry for his mother written across his features like a deep engraving in a metal plaque. He did not need anything like that around him right now, that much was clear.
Slowly, they moved over to him and reached up one of their long legs to run it along his arm while he still covered parts of his large face with both hands.
“She will be alright,” Curi then assured the dark-furred rafulite, switching from their usual voice box to their more “melodic” one to put on a gentle, calming tone. “She is stronger than she seems.”
Inhaling deeply as his nostrils flared, Mueen closed his dark eyes and swallowed heavily, taking his gaze off the large screen for the first time in many minutes while slowly hanging his head down.
“Yeah,” he said, seeming to force hopefulness into his tone. “Yes, she'll be fine. She made it his far. This won't get to her.”
Curi nodded with their entire body and continued to run the tip of their leg along his arm.
“She will be,” they repeated, both to the man and themselves as their own eyes moved upwards, their gaze falling back on the battlefield riddled with burning remnants of matter. “I'm sure of it.”
–
Never in his life had James felt so drunk and so sober at the same time. His mind was entirely clear, running a light-year a minute as it desperately tried to simultaneously process all the admittedly little information that he had in his current situation AND to not absolutely freak out while doing so somehow – a task he was ludicrously failing at. And it did NOT help that his body could barely keep itself on his own two feet.
He had avoided completely fainting by a hair earlier after reminding himself that, instead of being terrified for Shida's life, it would be much more fair towards her to simply focus on trusting in her skills to carry her through. However, that was barely a little patch on an enormous crack in his facade as he couldn't help but go over and over and over the fact of how much worse the situation that she needed to jump into here had been for her simply because it was his damn birthday and they wanted to indulge over it. He should've stopped that, but noooo, he just had to go and let himself be swayed so damn easily, as if he was still that little boy following Koko around whenever she visited the compound to try and get some attention.
Of course, a quiet voice in the back of his head tried to politely remind him that Shida had, in fact, not only taken part in the festivities as well but also encouraged him to do so, however it was easily overpowered by the screaming rest of his mind.
He briefly glanced over at the only somewhat conscious Commander. When she said that they should match each other's drinks, that should've been the moment he stopped. She was like half his weight, what the hell was he thinking?
His mechanical hand shot up, heavily gripping a fist full of hair as he tried to force himself to focus. What's done is done. There's no changing it. He should focus on anything else right now.
Though as he painfully pulled on his hair like that, his eyes suddenly went wide as he noticed something. Or, more precisely, didn't notice something.
When had the alarm stopped? Just now? Or had it been out and he just hadn't noticed?
Letting go of his hair, he lifted his face and looked around. If the alarm was over, then that meant...
The uncoordinated movement of soldiers reaching for their phones and radios with different speeds went through the room, and after brief confirmation, the uniformed forces began to move, having seemingly gotten new orders other than guarding the safe-rooms. Apparently, the threat was over.
James quickly fumbled for his own phone, his barely coordinated hands struggling extremely with the simple task of trying to call one of his contacts – much to the frustration of his already cleared mind. His finger trembled as he swiped it across the screen, trying to get it to the right damn place to make a simple god-damn call.
However, he froze in the motion at a quiet sound that was immediately followed by a sudden stir behind him as multiple people seemed to move quickly. And after just a second, James was among them as well.
Nearly tripping over his feet, he damn near threw himself onto the sickbed that didn't stand too far away from him, his phone momentarily forgotten and eyes wide open as they stared over at an endlessly familiar dark face, that however had life in it for the first time in what felt like an eternity at that moment.
Slowly and twitchy, Nia's eyes fluttered open as she let out quiet groans while mildly stirring in place while her doctors and nurses hurried around her and quickly began to take her vitals.
After flinching heavily as a flashlight was quite suddenly shone into her eyes to test her photopupillary reflex, she began to move even more. Meanwhile, James and Tuya were basically pressed shoulder to shoulder close to the foot of her bed, the only thing keeping them from dashing right up to her face being just enough awareness to not get in the doctor's way.
Still, although her movements were very slow, stiff, and groggy, Nia eventually lifted up her head, looking around with still somewhat hazy and half-closed eyes. But that didn't stop her from smiling when her gaze fell onto the two who so nervously stood at her bedside there.
“Hey,” she said in a quiet, croaky, but still very much cheerful voice as her unkempt hair fell down both sides of her face.
Though James didn't see much more than that, because just about at that moment, his vision was entirely taking away by welling-up waters sweeping him along.

I was at the Lowe’s on Jordan Creek in West Des Moines, IA on Saturday. I was looking for a plumbing part to go along with a garbage disposal I had in my cart and the only associate I could find was at the appliance desk (he was in late 40s or 50s). I politely asked him if he could help me find something because I couldn’t find it after spending probably 10 minutes trying. He said it’s down aisle 34. I asked if he could help because I already looked there. All this time, he was looking at my cane and could clearly see I was having issues walking due and pushing the cart. He said no, it’s in 34. Again I asked for his assistance, and again he refused to move - and there were no other customers around waiting for help.
I went to isle 34 and looked again for probably 10 minutes. I went to find him again and when he saw me coming, he immediately turned around and walked away. I hit the help button in plumbing and it rang over the PA for over 10 minutes without anybody coming before just turning itself off. He walked by a couple isles away and saw me waiting there. He kept casually walking away; again he wasn’t helping anybody.
I kept waiting and looking and had to finally yell at somebody a ways away to get somebody to help. It took them over 5 minutes to find the part and it wasn’t in aisle 34.
I feel this associate purposely discriminated against me for being handicap, despite me being polite and trying multiple times to find it myself. I have never in my life felt so dehumanized and belittled as I did. I have only had my disability for around a year and this is my first encounter where I feel it wasn't just a case of bad customer experience - and I really try to be understanding and accepting of those types of things as everybody has a bad day.
I was so worked up, my chest was hurting like I was going to have a heart attack (had one last year), my blood pressure went through the roof (had 3 strokes last year), and I was shaking so badly I almost got into an accident. All which then led to a panic attack. I am a very calm and rational person, but that is absolutely unacceptable and demonstrates the level of discrimination I perceived. When I (very visibly upset) told the cashier that I was treated very rudely by an associate, she didn't even acknowledge it or apologize for that experience, let alone attempt to escalate the matter.
I called the store right when I got home and demanded to speak to the manager (call me Karen if you want). She was dismissive and flippant to the point she was hanging up when I said, um... don't you want my name and number in case you have questions?
I then found the Executive Customer Experience email address and sent a complaint matching the above. I've gotten a few replies going back and forth, but it's basically "thanks for letting us know, now forget it" every time. That doesn't address 1- the discrimination I felt, 2 - give me any comfort that those involved are held accountable, and/or 3 - show a true interest in acknowledging and fixing what may be a systemic issue at either that store or culturally in the organization.
It's very clear that at no level in the organization is there genuine understanding of what basic, consistent, and unbiased customer service and experiences should be for everybody, regardless of race, gender, disability, or anything else.
From the clear discrimination by one or more associates, the flippant handling of the complaint from the store manager, to the canned responses, I honestly don't feel like Lowe's cares one iota about how it treats those with disabilities. It's even more egregious when those customers are doing everything they can to both be polite and respectful to associates, and go out of their way - despite their struggles - of resolving matters themselves.
What I need to determine is how to proceed. Do I forget the discrimination and the immediate and lasting pain it has caused? Do I start a social media trend for people to share their stories of discrimination by Lowe's associates (I'm guessing something like that would normally trend)? Do I file a formal ADA Civil Rights Complaint? I don't know the answer.

(Posted this on the main series sub, posting it here too now that I know this sub exists.)
Excuse me, but why are there so few fanfics where Izuku has a mutant type quirk ? I mean most fanfics I've seen where he has a quirk just give him an emitter quirk or sometimes a transformation quirk that is related to a crossover. Not to mentiom they try to get so complicated and make the power so flexible for no reason.
So here's my totally genius idea : Big Chimp Midoriya Izuku.
That's right, he inherits Hisashi's chimpanzee mutant type quirk and goes apeshit (pun intended but not really at first but then I realized it's a pun so yeah.) Now this could be executed in different ways, it could be him being born with the mutation and growing up violent enough to put Katsuki to shame, or he could be quirkless until a certain point in the story where he then goes through an extremely painful and graphic transformation.
I'm talking teeth falling out forcefully and being replaced by a new set, full on panic attack, gums deforming to push forward, excess bodily hair, hormones going wild, instincts changing his mindset and things of that nature.
Mood swings, acting out of character, arguments breaking out between him and his mom because she's scared of the change that she can only watch, while he's just happy to finally have a quirk, even if in the end it'll make him more hated and discriminated against than if he just remained quirkless his entire life.
I don't hate Midoriya Izuku, I just have too many fanfictions I've written in docs about him having actually interesting quirks that aren't that flashy which instead leaves more place to focus on him as a human rather than him as a hero student or a fighter.
Tw: mention and description of gore
(Now obviously there's some mild gore but to not make this feel like a crack fic I feel like it should be to an extent. Like, rip someone's jaw off, gouge out eyes, mauling, wailing on somebody, grappling, ripping genitals, cannibalism? Yeah sure ! Somehow turning people into clouds of red mist, ripping people apart out of nowhere ?(valid if it's actually important to the story but otherwise nah), ehhhh.)
Tw: possible mention of sexual violence, sexual assault, sexual harassment and rape. (Now I'm really torn on the rape part, it's basically going the whole nine yards in an angst fic, which I hate when writers add sexual violence to the story just to make it more edgy when it's just shock value. It has to have a meaning, an actual reason. Also it's a chimp not a dolphin, something tells me dolphins just tend to do that freaky stuff way more.)

As much as the title seems VERY peculiar (Superman? Horror? Gtfo), I had this idea in my head about it. It might be bad because it's a horror movie take on a character that is far from horrifying, but fuck it.
Just for the heck of it, this story is set in canon to Matt Reeves's Batman universe. But here goes:
The events of this movie happen a few months after the events of "The Batman". Bruce Wayne has held a fundraiser to help rebuild the destroyed dam and reinforce it. He decided to earn Gotham's trust and try to control the narrative behind what Riddler said about Martha Wayne. This, however, isn't as big a news as the fact that Bruce decided to show himself to the world. Perry White from "The Daily Planet" sends his top reporter, Lois Lane, who is slightly jaded in personality, but she puts the story above all else, willing to do anything for a story, even bending the law. Perry does, however, send an intern reporter, Clark Kent, with her, so she could "show him the ropes". Cut to the fundraiser. Lois and Clark hang around at the fundraiser, socialising, getting quotes and stories, etc. That's when Lois eventually crosses paths with the man himself: Bruce Wayne. Lois gets not just an eerie vibe from him, the cologne reminds her of fear. She feels her heart rate rising, her pupils start dilating, she starts sweating when around Bruce, but she pushes that fear away and decides to continue on. They chat each other up and hit it off. Eventually, Bruce offers her to join him in a nightcap and charms her enough with the promise of a much more in-depth interview, just the two of them. Lois accepts and Clark is sent home. During this interview, one thing leads to another, and Lois ends up having sex with Bruce and spending the night with him.
Lois is woken up by Alfred and served breakfast, being informed Bruce has left for Wayne Enterprises. Lois decides to leave and reaches the Daily Planet, where after turning the report in to Perry, heads to the roof for a quick smoke. That's where she sees a man waiting for her, floating in the air. He has blue eyes, he looks straightened and confident, and has straightened hair, with a widow's peak. He's also wearing a blue suit with a weird S on his symbol and a cape. He's floating in the air, petting a stray cat, while giving a warm smile to Lois. Lois is genuinely confused and, weirdly, intimidated by the aura he gives out. Almost like he has the power of a god. She thinks, "Is there yet another freak on this planet? First the monster from Gotham, and now...whoever, no. Whatever, this is?". She has to get a story out of him. She shakes her head out of disbelief, but just like that...he's gone. As if he was never there.
Over the next few days, Lois goes around town, thinking about that man and, at every turn, he's there. Sometimes looking at her from the sky. Sometimes floating, helping a few schoolchildren pass the street. Despite the good she sees him doing, she suspects the man of having an agenda. She starts coining the name: Superman. She tries to ask Perry to give her permission to write a piece on this "Superman", but Perry doesn't let her, claiming no one even knows who this Superman is, and it might all be a hoax. Clark is concerned for Lois and her obsession with this "Superman" and tries to help Lois with her story. Lois starts to suspect Clark of being this "Superman" character she sees throughout Metropolis due to the sheer facial resemblance, even having mental breakdowns over Clark being Superman or not, constantly feeling afraid whether he'll show up or not. Eventually, at night, she sees Superman outside her house and for the first time, he speaks. Using a calm, softer, near deep and melodic voice to talk to Lois Lane. She asks "What do I call you?" to which he replies, "I'm just someone who wants to help around. But I like the name you gave me. Superman. I like it!" She feels nervous, but braves that feeling by getting closer and standing on her tiptoes, kissing Superman.
Throughout the movie, we see more of Lois and Clark trying to figure out the Superman mystery together, getting close enough, but Lois starts to feel even more frustrated, and through seeing Clark, she keeps on thinking he's Superman and even goes through mental episodes. The final scene is Lois standing at the edge of the roof of the Daily Planet, with Clark tearfully pleading her not to jump, but Lois, now fully convinced Clark is Superman, tearfully says "Clark, I know your secret. There's no need to deny it. I know you'll jump and save me. It's okay". She kisses him hard then backs up, closes her eyes, and jumps. Clark tries to reach for her hand, but is a split second too late.
Lois feels herself falling, only for her to gradually slow down. She opens her eyes, only to see Superman again, carrying her in his arms. She kisses him again, and tearfully says "You came." Superman just keeps on smiling, although slightly eerily. "There was no need to be scared of me, Lois. There never was." Lois reaches up to cup his cheek in her hand, but her hand fazes through. She tries again, and again, and again, before realising. "...I'm sorry, Clark." she mutters.
We cut to police sirens, and a silhouette walking over to the body: Batman. He was specially called through the police department via the GCPD, as officers were afraid just going to the body. He slowly walks over: Lois Lane died upon impact when she jumped off the building. Perry was right. "Superman" was a hoax. She hallucinated Superman the whole time. Why? the "cologne" Bruce wore? An unadulterated, raw sample of a gas. "Bruce Wayne" was also just another man posing to be rich, except... he looked very similar to Bruce. Batman checks the body, takes a sample of it, and deduces that she was drugged the night of the fundraiser he held. He simply says to Alfred (listening in via an upgraded cowl) "Whoever did this doesn't want any materialistic things. Given she was drugged in Gotham and did this to herself in another place entirely, our mutual friend wants to undo my work before it even starts." This sets up the sequel for "The Batman Part II"
What do you guys think of this pitch?

Hi all,
I made this post earlier but I deleted because I was getting solicited in the DMs and it freaked me out.
I'm working through addressing a potential entity attachment to my former partner. Unfortunately it was draining me and I regret not being fortified enough within myself to endure being energetically attacked by what was speaking through the face and voice of the person I love for any longer.
I still feel obligated to help this person, and it is pretty clear that performing magic, energy work, Reiki, entity removal etc without my former partner's consent goes against the ethics of most practitioners. It's also clear to me that doing any of those things without their awareness could come with risks to them. It appears the entity is "protecting" them from emotional pain in their relationships such as guilt, sadness, grief etc, but it is also feeding them persecutory delusions that they need to be protected from basically everything, including the people they love and feeding on their anger and frustration, or maybe the pain inside them they won't allow themselves to feel or try to hide from. I had a dream about it and it was something black on their heart with a face, and I ripped it off in the dream (with facesplitting effort). So because it is protective, it could harm them and I don't want to risk that.
So, what can I do to help them that doesn't violate their right to autonomy? Is prayer the only thing that is safe? I feel it is a soul-level obligation to this person in some capacity so I'm interested in being made aware of risks, people sharing their own experiences, etc. I was concerned because they are experiencing delusions and this thing speaks for them sometimes, and how that might work. I'm looking for what is actually possible to do for them given the circumstances, and I am absolutely not looking for ways to bypass the circumstances, and am OK with not being involved if it's truly inappropriate and/or unhelpful for me to be involved.
I will ignore any soliciting in DMs. I am looking for strategies and resources that I can utilize, and also if anyone has gone through any similar and can share their experience.
Edit: I see a lot of people are saying back off and I appreciate that. I'm definitely not OK with pushing into territory that violates that person or their soul and I want to be clear about that. That's part of why I am asking these things, it's helpful to hear from other's perspectives and experiences and ethics.
I guess I'm having trouble understanding seeing someone suffering that is affecting a ton of people, it's just like OK I will just turn the other cheek and walk away? On one hand this feels like leaving them to the dogs on the street, on the other it could be framed that I trust their strength and their soul and other people in their life to figure it out and I'm not needed here.
I am so beyond grateful for everyone's insight and responses so far!

Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/1cxj7h8/comment/l52vtd5/?context=3
*****

The Palatini of Orias journey took nine grueling days of traveling down the peaks of Torness Mountain Range. But at long last, they reached the Coralus Valley. While the temperature was far below what the half-elf usually enjoyed, it was far better than the mountain peaks.
They traveled through the valley, trying to avoid the multiple hostiles, villages, and anyone else who could tip off their enemies. They had to take every tedious path imaginable to prevent possible contact with the enemy.
Staring at their destination, Fraeya Holiadon could not decide if she should be thrilled or distorted at the sight. "Is this the place?"
"I believe so," Raegel said. "The pattern of the structures matches my drawings and the map. See the remains of the two walls?"
"And the stone rings that direct out," Henness said.
"So, you have read the legends," Raegel said, surprised by the centurion's knowledge of the temple.
"I always prepare before a mission," Henness said. "Those half rings, are they stone or artificial?"
"They look like stone, so I think they used the ground stone and molded them," Raegel said.
Fraeya Holiadon carefully stared at the temple ruins. All she could see was the destruction—fractured stone buildings, walls, weed-infested stone pavement, and so on. While there were still many stone structures, most were destroyed. She could only see death, not the walls her father could see.
She turned to ask her father what he was talking about but saw Centurion Fionntan Henness pointing toward the walls and other details.
Watching the two communicate about the features of the temple, she realized how out of depth she was. Her father spent generations studying ruins like this, while Henness is an experienced soldier. For Fraeya, this was her first mission outside the academy supervision, and she realized how different the world was compared to the classroom.
As the two spoke, her elf ears overheard Henness mention that he saw green webbing. As the two men debated what creatures could create that webbing, she already knew based on the type of webbing. Being an excellent student, she recalled the topic regarding intelligent monsters. While many species produce a web, only one creates a thick green. Goblins.
"Father," Fraeya said. "I think goblins made those webbings."
"How could you possibly know that?" Henness asked, unconvinced by the theory. "It would easily be Rorgo or a Kipt."
Fraeya reached into her backpack and pulled out her notepad. She flipped through the pages and responded, "Kipt is more silk-like, while Rorgo is more for capturing prey. Both are white. Only Goblins make green."
"She is correct," Raegel said. "The green should have been a given."
"Alright," Henness said. "That complicates things."
"How so?" Fraeya asked. "The academy said they are weak. Adventures and local militia kill them constantly, so your men should be able to wipe them out with your weaponry easily."
"Goblins are weak in small numbers, but they are a nightmare in large numbers," Henness said. "And depending on the horde, they adapt to who their enemies are quickly. For all I know, we could be fighting a nest that is as heavily armed as we are."
Fraeya looked back toward the next with much confusion. She knew about the goblin's ability to adapt. However, her teachers never stated how formal they could be. Only treating them as barbarians is a functional civilization. "I would think the academy would mention something like that."
"If you are going to be out here in the world, you must understand that life is very different from the classroom," Henness said. "The difference between someone who lives behind a desk versus someone on the ground. Now, I need to get my forces ready for our attack."
Once the centurion left, Fraeya looked at her father. "I am starting to get the impression that my schooling wasn't as truthful as I once thought."
Raegel chuckled at the statement from his daughter. "That is what I said when I left my academy in Thali'ean," he said with a short chuckle before he spoke. "Henness was correct; there is a large gap between the classroom and out here in the world."
"I see. So, now, what do we do?"
"We wait for the legionaries to form a plan. Because time is not on our side, he will want you to assist with your magic. Do you think you can assist? If you are uncomfortable, tell me now, and you can stay here where it is safe."
Feeling a nervous chill creeping down her spine, she looked back toward the temple and breathed heavily. "I admit, I am scared, but I didn't come here to babysit the camp. I want to help."
She felt her father pat her on the back, feeling a sense of pride from his touch.
"That's my daughter."
After an hour of planning, the Palatini of Orias began their assault on the temple ruins. The plan was for a primary team to assault the temple directly, triggering a response from the goblin. The second team would remain on the high ground and pick off the horde.
Fraeya ended up on the right side of the group team. To her surprise, many soldiers were thrilled that they were finally getting into a fight. She wondered, after two weeks of crawling over the mountains and hiding like rodents, they finally got a chance to be soldiers.
The primary assault group she was attached to advance toward the temple once the signal was given. Passing one of the few remaining wall structures, they entered the temple ground. As they swept through the old temple's front sections, the goblins huddled around a fire pit, noticed them, and prepared for battle.
Three legionaries known as circilmen, from the palatini positioned themselves to engage the incoming enemy. Carrying a ranged projectile weapon known as a circiletum, they hid behind the front shield men and fired upon the incoming enemy. They picked off two of the three goblins as the last one quickly crawled under a piece of rubble for cover. Then, the palatini heard a painful screech from the hiding goblin.
Fraeya couldn't help herself but stand there noticing the two fresh corpses. She then watched as two of the swordsmen rushed to the hiding goblin. They reached in and pulled the little green monster out of its hiding spot.
Two swordsmen grabbed the goblin and dragged it from its cover, it jumped on top of one of the legionaries, stabbing its blade into its armor, unable to break through. With a short struggle, the legionary could slam the goblin onto the ground. The other legionary stomped on the body before thrusting his gladius into the monster.
Hearing another screech, Fraeya looked down the stone path and saw goblins popping out of every crack and corner.
One of the legionary officers ordered the unit to reform. The swordsmen took the front with their large scutum shields, creating a two-line protective shield wall. Behind them were the circilmen, taking cover behind the scutum.
The group of goblins charged forward. As they approached, the legionaries saw the raw, starving rage within their dark green eyes—a thirst for primal instincts of food and lust and nothing else.
"Fraeya, is it?"
Hearing her name, she turned to the commanding offer of this group.
"When I give the order, shake the ground." The lower-ranking Centurian said.
Fraeya acknowledged the order as she understood what he was planning.
Turning back to the incoming horde, she watched the three circilmen open fire. The circiletums cut down the forward group of goblins. The ones behind that row suddenly stopped from the shock but were cut down by a second volley.
"Now. Before they scatter."
Fraeya placed her hands together and chanted. The two tiny mana crystals on her gloves blew green as she felt a raw energy channel through her body. A moment later, that glow expanded to the point that it encompassed her hand.
Channeling the mana needed for the spell, Fraeya placed her left hand on the ground.
The stone ground beneath them shook the stone terra, stunning the goblins. Right down the center, cracks formed, and the terra broke apart. The road slightly uplifted into an elevation, forcing the goblins to focus on what was happening.
With the ground disinformed, it prevented the enemy from scattering in an organized manner, allowing the circilmen to fire another volley.
The front scutum marched forward and started cutting down anything that moved. The other line split into two groups. They were marching down the street in an almost synchronized manner. They held their shields high toward the ruins, protecting the circilmen from any incoming projectile. Arrows and magic.
Fireballs flew and impacted the scutum infantry, protecting the flanks. Some of the shields glowed from the impact. The flames engulfed one of the men's arms, and he started to scream from the pain.
The circilmen returned fire, and a firefight began. The sound of their weapons crackled throughout the surrounding area, amplified by the ruined walls. Above the sound of battle were the voices and cries of the wounded—the circiletum that were deployed on the ridge above rained fire from the suppressive team.
The Palatini of Orias pushed deeper into the temple ground as the battle continued. That was until the town began to be consumed by this thick haze, providing cover for the goblins, and restricting visibility for the Lat forces. While not educated to the standards of civilized races, Goblins were not stupid.
"It is a haze," Fraeya said. "They must have a mage somewhere within the nest."
Centurion Fionntan Henness approached their forces and began to regroup. "Can you counter it?"
"No," Fraeya replied. "I never studied Aeromancy magic."
"Nebulo," Henness said. "Our armor and weapons will be less effective."
Fraeya understood his concern. From what she recalled from her classes; goblins have sharp senses. Based on the density of the haze, it was clear even to her that they were planning to force them to huddle and expose themselves to be surrounded, making their ranged weapons worthless.
"We will just have to work around it," Raegel said.
As Frayea prepared herself, she felt a strange feeling throughout her body, almost like some field affecting her body. She saw a female legionary in light armor and a cloak checking over the wounded. One of the few women in the legionary, she could tell she was the unit healer specializing in Sanamancy magic. The women must have placed a barrier to help protect against any poisonous gasses lying within the haze.
Orias advanced through the haze; this forced the soldiers to clump together for safety. As the assault group progressed, they were hit non-stop by the goblin's arrow fire, spears, and fire shots from sling guns. Most of these projectiles caused minor damage thanks to the heavy armor legionary’s wear. However, this did not remove the damage as it brought discomfort and limited their progression to a crawl.
Barely noticing two figures on top of a rooftop through the haze, who were firing slingshots toward their position, she pointed her hand toward a piece of rubble and, with her magic, lifted the debris and projected it through the haze. The rubble temporarily formed a gap in the haze that increased the line-of-sight.
She then called out to the fire battle mage within the unit. The mage realized what was happening and fired multiple firebolts toward the tower. Five bolts impacted the building from different directions, engulfing the structure in flames. Everyone could hear the faint sound of goblins screaming as the building burnt.
With the tower collapsing suddenly, arrows rained through the thick haze, hitting the legionaries in retaliation. While most arrows bounced off the armor, some found exposed spots. Two more legionaries fell to their knees, with one vomiting blood, forcing the healed to focus on the sick over protecting the group.
It became clear that the goblins changed their tactics and poisoned their arrows. While worthless against armor, they could still puncture the underneath clothing and scrap any exposed part of the skin.
A luperca legionnaire picked up an old broken wagon and used it as a shield to protect. With the cover, the lower ranking commanders directed the circilmen to pick off any goblins that peaked above the surface.
Combined with the haze and change of tactic, this formed a strange stalemate between the two sides. The Orias was forced into a defensive; they were well equipped to deal with any goblins who dared to get within melee range. However, the goblins had surrounded and had the range advance as they could see through the haze, allowing them to snipe any legionary who adventured far from the group.
Fraeya saw a blob of acid impact a swordsmen's scutum. The scutum started being consumed by the spell, slowly falling into pieces. The man screamed as he felt his arm burn, desperately untieing the strappings to ditch the heavy shield.
"We need to kill their shaman before we are picked off," Raegel said.
"I agreed," Henness replied. "As long as this haze is here, my suppressive team is useless."
"If I recall," Fraeya said. "A Shaman should be nearby. Someone close enough to maintain this haze and give commands but not put themselves in danger."
"Then I know where it should be," Henness said. "Let's go half-elf."
She felt her ears perk up once she realized the centurion was talking about her. She looked toward her father and saw the 'it is time to prove yourself' look. Taking a deep breath and preparing herself, she gathered behind Henness and six of his men.
The assault unit left the main one and adventurer deeper into the temple grounds. As they reached what remained of an intersection, goblins stormed out of the stone buildings to ambush the legionaries.
With their disciplined reaction, the legionaries immediately adjusted their formation and sliced down the attackers. Henness stood at the center, holding his sword out as flames wrapped around the blade.
As the goblins attacked the swordsmen, Fraeya broke apart the ground on the right flank, knocking many goblins. The one that fell, she entangled them by summoning vines - which trapped the goblins and pulled them into the ground until their death or burial.
She then turned and lifted parts of the ground on the left flank, blocking some of the goblins. This prevented the legionaries from being encircled.
"Reform," Henness ordered. "We need to advance quickly. Stay close."
Once the path was clear, the unit moved toward the building where the goblins had fortified. Henness moved in front of her to provide protection. He held up his shield, deflecting arrows.
"Stay behind me," Henness said.
While not being a military woman, Fraeya quickly learned to accept the chain of command on this quest. On the battlefield, her father told her to listen to Henness as he was a man of war. She realized that the structure and safety of the city and the academy are vastly different in the countryside. Getting behind him, she followed him close behind as he pushed forward, arrows striking his shield, allowing her to get in range for her spell.
The legionaries stopped engaging the incoming goblins, allowing their centurion and the young mage to get closer. Henness reached around his scutum and pressed the amulet attached to the outer shell's center. Once pressed, the large shield briefly glowed before darkening, returning to the standard red with white lining design.
Up ahead, Fraeya saw in full display of the nest. Spikes, fortification, and green webbing filled the gaps between the ruined structures. Skeletons and decomposing bodies littered the areas of their past victims. The goblins were standing in the bunker sections, preparing for battle. With how heavily guarded it was, she concluded that this must be where the Shaman was.
"Fraeya, now!"
Fraeya moved around the man to cast her spell. With a quick chant, her hands glowed green again. As she channeled her mana, an acid attack impacted Henness' scutum. While the added hardening enchantment from the amulet increased the scutum resistance, the acid slowly ate through the large shield.
Stepping from cover, Fraeya aimed her hands at the nest. The ground trembled a little as the front of the nest collapsed on itself from the summoned sinkhole.
With the front entrance open, Fraeya saw the Shaman in plain view—a female, being one of the few within a goblin nest. The Shama looked scared as she looked around where to hide.
Fraeya did not give it time as she cast a spell that created a spike from the ground below the Shaman and pierced straight through the vicious monster, killing it instantly.
As the Shaman staff hit the ground, the haze started to disappear.
Believing that her work was complete after killing the goblin leader, her ears quickly heard footsteps surrounding them.
Noticing that the goblins were about to swarm their position, she took cover behind Henness to protect his rear. She took a deep breath as she felt exhausted from the battle and cast so many spells quickly.
Starting at five goblins that emerged from the ruins, Fraeya watched as they charged toward them. Before they got close, however, each one was sniped from the ridge-side suppressive team.
With a moment of confusion, she stared toward the cliffside and saw the suppressive team. Now that the haze is disappearing, they could snipe off the remaining goblins from their elevation position.
"Good job, half-elf," Henness said, slowly stepping back with a shield aimed at the flames, guiding Fraeya back.
"Stop calling me half-elf," Fraeya yelled. "I am out here risking my life with the rest of you, and don't give me that war is a male-domain thing! I am willing to see this through. Most of my kind would stay home and let you fight, so why do you keep degrading me?"
"Because ideals get people killed," Fionntan Henness replied. "Out here, you must earn that respect within the brotherhood of warriors, especially if you are used to living inside the city walls. People with a self-protected mindset usually end up as food for the worms or get my soldiers killed because they do not understand what it takes to survive."
The centurion then turned to the destroyed nest. "I will say, though, what you did here. It is a good first step for a half-elf." He then turned to give her an approving smile.
Not understanding the humor from the Lat, Fraeya accepted it. From her experience, Lats always had a strange sense of humor. Insults are sometimes seen as compliments while praising could be considered offensive. Saying one thing but meaning another is a common trait for them.
With the remaining palatini coming after clearing the remaining goblins, Fraeya saw her father. She rushed over and hugged him and teared up.
"You did good, my dear," Raegel said as he patted her.
"Is this really what it is like out here?" Fraeya asked.
"Sadly, it is," Fraeya replied. "That is why I never brought you around on my digs."
"I am sorry to interrupt," Henness said. "We are on borrowed time, so can we get at it?"
Fraeya looked toward the centurion with frustration as she wanted a moment with her father. After taking a deep breath, she realized that he was right.
After finishing her hug, she brushed off the goblin's blood and clothing.
"Then we better begin searching for what we came for," Raegel said as he reached for his bag. She watched as he pulled out a perfectly smoothed, pure black orb. By itself, it didn't look impressive. She had seen hundreds of these orbs at the academy or the many workshops within the city.
Raegel held the orb in one hand and activated it with his mana. The orb glowed light blue and fainted, barely emitting any energy. He then took it against the mountain and began scanning.
Not wanting to miss anything, Fraeya quickly pulled out her journal, skipping past all her notes until she reached a blank page. She then began documenting everything her father did, taking in every world and detail.
The palatini began walking through the ruins, heading toward the mountain wall. Raegel explained in his research that the temple extended inside the mountain, like a dwarf borrian. While others who came before him came up with this theory, they were still looking for a way to detect the hidden door markings and find it.
Raegel moved down the side of the mountain, holding the orb high.
"Why are you not using a door-detecting amulet?" Fraeya asked.
"Because people have been using that for generations and found nothing here," Raegel replied.
After a reasonable amount of time when nothing had happened, Fraeya began to wonder if everything was for nothing. Seeing the lack of progress, Henness inquired if the orb failed to work. As Raegel replied, the orb suddenly blimped orange for a moment.
Witnessing the sudden change, the group backed away as they did not know how to respond to the sudden glow.
Noticing a renewed excitement from her father, she followed him closely as they investigated the mountainside.
As they searched, her father noticed that the faint blue glow from the orb had changed to orange. It then disappeared and slowly appeared, like it was slowly pulsing. When they continued walking forward, the pulsing light increased in speed.
"I think it is directing us, father," Fraeya said.
"Possible," Raegel said. "There must be some type of link."
The palatini followed the direction the orb gave. As the group approached a mountainside wall, the pulse frequency increased until it looked like the orb glowed a solid color.
"I think we found it," Raegel said. He lifted the orb toward the wall.
As the orb drew closer to the mountainside, these blue lines appeared all over the rocky wall. The rough chips of rock melted away and turned smooth as the light traveled through the grooves, slowly creating what looked like a giant door of light.
Once the bright lights finished designing a massive door, Fraeya placed her hand on the wall, shocked at how the natural bulky rocks turned into a marble-like wall.
"I would step aside, Fraeya," Raegel said.
As Fraeya stepped backward, she watched her father open the door with a magical spell. Like most magical doors, the door brightened as she expected it would fold into the mountain. To her surprise, the door didn't fold away but melted into the ground.
"What happened to the door?" Fraeya asked.
Raegal placed his hand on his chin. "It seemed that the wall was not solid but some liquid matter. These people are impressive."
The wall began to shake as dusk from the cracks spread through the area.
A large opening formed as the door walls folded into the mountainside. A passage leading deeper into the mountain. The walls were black and smooth, while the floor had these textiles in perfect order, leading deeper into the mountain.
"This has to be a dwarven design," Fraeya commented. "Only they could do something like this."
"I'm not sure," Raegel said. "This is not a design I have seen from dwarves."
Fraeya understood what her father meant. Dwarven doors into the mountains took a lot of work to find. While there were many designs of such hidden doors and the means to open them, it was doubtful that anyone had ever seen a secret magical door like this before.
Raegel started to walk into the chamber but was suddenly stopped by Henness. Stating that he wanted his men to go first to ensure no trap, three legionaries moved through the large chamber. Once they gave the clear, the rest of the group entered.
While walking, Fraeya stayed close to her father as she took notes. The soldiers ahead of them set up torches to add more light. To her surprise, the walls and floor were smooth. The air was stale, probably trapped within this chamber for centuries.
As they walked inside, the room lit up. Everyone stopped as they looked toward the end of the hall. The chamber was empty, with only a strange-looking platform at the very end. Noticing that the orb was pointing toward the platform, they approached it.
"Is this it?" Henness asked. "It does not look that impressive."
"Not everything is based on size, centurion," Raegel replied, to which his daughter giggled.
Fraeya then analyzed the platform. It was smooth, almost marble-like. However, she doubted whether it was marble. The fundamental details that she noticed were a strange-looking blue crystal at the center of the platform and another in a hole on the side.
"This is interesting," Fraeya commented. The design looked surprisingly simple. This orb must act as some command orb for this device. They must be communicating in some manner."
"Assuming that the legend was true, the orcs were the ones who summoned the lats from Altaerrie," Fraeya said. "Maybe, when this place was lost of that time, it was never turned off. Being left in a state of slumber, waiting to be reawakened."
"Possible. It would explain why the orb directed us here. The orange pulse is now pointing down at a rapid pace."
"I think it goes into that hole, father," Fraeya said. "From what I can tell, the crystal in there connects to the one on top of the platform."
"I see," Raegel said. "The pulse is pointing toward it too. I recommend that everyone step back."
"Be careful, father," Fraeya said.
Stepping back from the platform, Fraeya watched as her father placed the orb into the hole. This was the moment her father had been talking about for decades, and it had finally come true. The Bridge between two worlds had finally been discovered.
As Raegel placed the orb into the platform, it glowed orange in a solid state, no longer pulsing. The blue crystal in the middle of the platform slowly lit up, like it was waking up after a long sleep.
The air suddenly chilled as the air flowed toward the platform. A bright light beamed out of the crystal and slowly faded away, leaving a light as if on standby.
To their dismay, the orb changed to red, dimming and brightening in a slow, tired pattern.
"What is it doing, father?" Fraeya asked.
"I have no idea," Raegel replied. "It must be waiting for something."

Tom took another look at the dwindling encampment as his dismay began to fade away. "Whoever's left to hang out with are the most committed to the cause" he thought to himself. "If anything, I'll have more fun than I did before." And after all, they had a good lineup of activists scheduled to visit in the next few days, and an anarchist band had even agreed to play this afternoon. He had definitely noticed a rapid drop in the number of campers since the end of the semester, and had even begun to doubt that they would be able to get any sort of concessions out of the university. But his thinking had changed after hearing the speeches that morning.
First to speak was Tom's friend and comrade, Eric. His impassioned indictment of the Israeli government reminded Tom of the importance of their activism. Then came the married grad students, the Trotskyist Abdou and the pan-Arabist Farida. They were international students studying English and anthropology, respectively. Or was it anthropology and sociology? Abdou lectured on the university's connection to the military-industrial complex. His speech was filled with threats to the administration that Tom was sure the limp-dicked Trot had no means of fulfilling. Even so, he had to admit that despite all his other inadequacies, Abdou was a powerful speaker. Finally came Farida. Tom had always considered her the best speaker of them all, but frankly he had a hard time taking his eyes off her whether she was speaking or not. He had tried flirting with her before, and he got the feeling that Abdou was even more into it than she was. Thinking about it now, he couldn't quite remember what her speech had been about, but it had certainly improved his spirits.
As the "Bacon Brigade" began setting up their instruments, Tom decided to make a point of dancing with Farida that afternoon. As the average tent now held two campers rather than five, he even thought he might get a chance to enjoy some of the newfound privacy.
...
When there was a break in the music, Tom sauntered over to the table where Abdou was sitting. As an ML, Tom could hardly stand Trotskyists, but he put on a smile for the sake of "left unity."
"She's a good dancer isn't she?" said Abdou.
"Oh yes, the best," agreed Tom. He was trying to think of a way of progressing his slow seduction of this Muslim woman and decided to be bold. "Look Abdou, the band will be winding down soon, why don't you both come back to my tent and I'll show you some comradely hospitality. I also have some suggestions that I know you'll love."
Abdou's mind was racing with the possibilities of the situation. Would this be the chance to see his wife seduced and taken by this big stud? Supposing Farida won't agree? Before he could engage his brain Abdou found himself agreeing to Tom's offer. "Wonderful, wonderful," beamed Tom and he could feel his big cock twitch at the thought of bedding Abdou's beautiful wife.
Just then Farida reappeared. "What are you two talking about?" she said.
Before Abdou could say a word, Tom said "Well my dear, your husband has kindly accepted my invitation of hospitality at my tent."
Farida didn't know what to say. She had thought Abdou would whisk her off back to the hotel and give her the fucking she desperately needed. Rubbing up against Tom's manhood had taken its toll. "Well I suppose we could come and see where you camp," she said, "but we mustn't stay too late must we Abdou?"
"What? I err no, I suppose not," stammered Abdou as Tom rose and offered Farida his arm.
And the three of them found themselves heading off to tent where the lives of Abdou and Farida would be changed forever. As they walked along Abdou held one of Farida's arms and Tom the other. However, after a while Abdou consciously let go of his wife's arm and stepped behind Tom.
This was not lost on the big white and he put his big protective arm around Abdou's wife as if to say to everyone "she's mine." If Farida hadn't been so dazed by the afternoon's events, she might have noticed various other white students smiling at Tom with knowing grins. They had recognized the situation immediately; a Muslim couple with cuckold husband following on as a big powerful white man led the wife to his cot.
Soon they reached Tom's tent and both Abdou and Farida were pleasantly surprised at how spacious it was. "Let me get you some coffee," said Tom as both Abdou and Farida collapsed onto a big sleeping bag.
Having sorted the drinks, Tom put some music on, and crawling over to Farida he said, "Can we have another dance Farida, you're such a good dancer?"
Before Farida could answer she felt her husband pushing her up. "Go on Farida, you know how much you enjoy it."
Abdou secretly wanted to see his wife in the arms of this Adonis again and who knows maybe more. Having no real reason to object, Farida agreed and as she accepted Toms hand she couldn't help but feel a shiver at the thought of being reacquainted with his penis, albeit covered by his trousers. However, as they left the tent she had a suspicion that he wasn't wearing any under garments since his penis had seemed so clearly outlined earlier.
As he clasped her to himself Tom could feel his big cock twitch once again. He moved one hand down to the small of her back, just to test the waters and meeting no resistance after another minute or so he moved his hand onto her sexy bottom. He could feel through the thin dress that Farida wasn't wearing thick pants, or perhaps only very skimpy ones and he couldn't wait to see her naked.
Farida felt lost in a different world as she circled round with this big man. Not only could she feel his penis growing hard against her once more, but she felt his big hand on her bottom pulling her onto his hardness. When she looked at her husband (still sitting in the tent), she noticed that he was just rubbing his own penis through his trousers. "My goodness," she thought, "he's getting turned on watching us. Supposing I flirt a bit more and show him what he's missing?"
With that Farida deliberately started to open her legs and let Tom's muscular leg rub against her inflamed sex.
This change in Farida's demeanor was not lost on Tom. As he led her back to the tent, he let his hands roam all over the back of this sexy hijabi Muslim wife and he leaned down to kiss and nibble her neck and ears. He heard Farida sigh and knew that he was close to capturing this sexy wife. "Fatima, let's give Abdou a show to remember shall we?"
Farida was brought back from her dreamlike state by Tom's question. "What do you mean?" she asked.
Almost in a whisper Tom said, "You know, a bit of thesis-antithesis-synthesis."
He had already found the zipper that ran down the back of Farida's dress and he had it in his hands as he spoke to her. He slowly started to pull the zipper down and it was half way down her back before Farida realised what was happening. "Wait Tom, we can't do this, I'm married."
"So what of it, Abdou wants me to undress you, don't you Abdou?"
Abdou had no hesitation in replying in the affirmative. This is what he had wanted for so long.
Caught in the confusion and surprise of hearing her husband say that he wanted to see another man, undress her, Farida just lay there while Tom pulled the zipper right down and then eased the dress off her shoulders. Suddenly she realised that she was lying in only her stockings, garter belt, and thong panties.
As she looked up at Tom she saw something that she hadn't seen in a man for years and that was undisguised lust. This man was lusting after her, this married women! She should have felt ashamed at her feelings but she didn't. Having got half-naked, she realised that she was enjoying the attention of this muscular white man. In fact she decided to crawl around in front of him as if to say 'look at what my husband has and you haven't'.
This might have been a foolish act, but it merely served to confirm what both men knew. For Tom it confirmed that Farida was absolutely gorgeous, the sexiest Muslim woman he had ever seen and that she needed to be loved sexually. For Abdou as he fingered his painfully erect cock, he knew that he was just a few steps away from pushing his wife into a sleeping bag with another man. He was close to realizing his fantasy.
Tom pulled Farida to him, lifted her face to his and he kissed her. Farida would always remember that first kiss since it was both passionate but more significantly the precursor to her crossing a line that could not be re- crossed, and to setting in motion events that would last her and her husband a lifetime. She accepted his big tongue into her mouth and her tongue fenced with his. She could feel his big hands roaming all over body now.
In her trance-like state it seemed quite natural that Tom should start to remove his clothing. Both Farida and Abdou watched as the big man removed his shirt to reveal a hugely-muscled chest and then he dropped his trousers and just as Farida had suspected he wore no underwear. His big cock reared up in all is magnificence and Tom was gratified to hear both husband and wife express surprise at his size.
Tom crawled over to the sleeping bag where Farida was sitting and crouched in front of her, his big cock semi erect. He remembered that Eric had told him that the cops were closing in, and he knew he would have to move quickly if he wanted to finish before they cleared the encampment. Farida's head was at the same level as the big man's groin and she was amazed at the whole size and muscularity of this man. Her trance-like state was broken by Tom who said softly "Take my cock into your mouth."
Farida was aghast, "I can't! It's dirty and I've never done that before."
Tom laughed to himself. This wife was indeed naive and yet he was gratified that he would be the first man to have his cock sucked by her. Lifting her face so that she could look into his eyes, Tom said, "As we hear from German ideologists, Germany has in the last few years gone through an unparalleled revolution. The decomposition of the Hegelian philosophy, which began with Strauss, has developed into a universal ferment into which all the “powers of the past” are swept. In the general chaos mighty empires have arisen only to meet with immediate doom, heroes have emerged momentarily only to be hurled back into obscurity by bolder and stronger rivals. It was a revolution beside which the French Revolution was child’s play, a world struggle beside which the struggles of the Diadochi [successors of Alexander the Great] appear insignificant. Principles ousted one another, heroes of the mind overthrew each other with unheard-of rapidity, and in the three years 1842-45 more of the past was swept away in Germany than at other times in three centuries.
"All this is supposed to have taken place in the realm of pure thought.
"Certainly it is an interesting event we are dealing with: the putrescence of the absolute spirit. When the last spark of its life had failed, the various components of this caput mortuum began to decompose, entered into new combinations and formed new substances. The industrialists of philosophy, who till then had lived on the exploitation of the absolute spirit, now seized upon the new combinations. Each with all possible zeal set about retailing his apportioned share. This naturally gave rise to competition, which, to start with, was carried on in moderately staid bourgeois fashion. Later when the German market was glutted, and the commodity in spite of all efforts found no response in the world market, the business was spoiled in the usual German manner by fabricated and fictitious production, deterioration in quality, adulteration of the raw materials, falsification of labels, fictitious purchases, bill-jobbing and a credit system devoid of any real basis. The competition turned into a bitter struggle, which is now being extolled and interpreted to us as a revolution of world significance, the begetter of the most prodigious results and achievements.
"If we wish to rate at its true value this philosophic charlatanry, which awakens even in the breast of the honest German citizen a glow of national pride, if we wish to bring out clearly the pettiness, the parochial narrowness of this whole Young-Hegelian movement and in particular the tragicomic contrast between the illusions of these heroes about their achievements and the actual achievements themselves, we must look at the whole spectacle from a standpoint beyond the frontiers of Germany.
"Ideology in General, German Ideology in Particular: German criticism has, right up to its latest efforts, never quitted the realm of philosophy. Far from examining its general philosophic premises, the whole body of its inquiries has actually sprung from the soil of a definite philosophical system, that of Hegel. Not only in their answers but in their very questions there was a mystification. This dependence on Hegel is the reason why not one of these modern critics has even attempted a comprehensive criticism of the Hegelian system, however much each professes to have advanced beyond Hegel. Their polemics against Hegel and against one another are confined to this – each extracts one side of the Hegelian system and turns this against the whole system as well as against the sides extracted by the others. To begin with they extracted pure unfalsified Hegelian categories such as “substance” and “self-consciousness,” later they desecrated these categories with more secular names such as species “the Unique,” “Man,” etc.
"The entire body of German philosophical criticism from Strauss to Stirner is confined to criticism of religious conceptions. [The following passage is crossed out in the manuscript:] claiming to be the absolute redeemer of the world from all evil. Religion was continually regarded and treated as the arch-enemy, as the ultimate cause of all relations repugnant to these philosophers. The critics started from real religion and actual theology. What religious consciousness and a religious conception really meant was determined variously as they went along. Their advance consisted in subsuming the allegedly dominant metaphysical, political, juridical, moral and other conceptions under the class of religious or theological conceptions; and similarly in pronouncing political, juridical, moral consciousness as religious or theological, and the political, juridical, moral man – “man” in the last resort – as religious. The dominance of religion was taken for granted. Gradually every dominant relationship was pronounced a religious relationship and transformed into a cult, a cult of law, a cult of the State, etc. On all sides it was only a question of dogmas and belief in dogmas. The world was sanctified to an ever-increasing extent till at last our venerable Saint Max was able to canonise it en bloc and thus dispose of it once for all.
"The Old Hegelians had comprehended everything as soon as it was reduced to an Hegelian logical category. The Young Hegelians criticised everything by attributing to it religious conceptions or by pronouncing it a theological matter. The Young Hegelians are in agreement with the Old Hegelians in their belief in the rule of religion, of concepts, of a universal principle in the existing world. Only, the one party attacks this dominion as usurpation, while the other extols it as legitimate.
"Since the Young Hegelians consider conceptions, thoughts, ideas, in fact all the products of consciousness, to which they attribute an independent existence, as the real chains of men (just as the Old Hegelians declared them the true bonds of human society) it is evident that the Young Hegelians have to fight only against these illusions of consciousness. Since, according to their fantasy, the relationships of men, all their doings, their chains and their limitations are products of their consciousness, the Young Hegelians logically put to men the moral postulate of exchanging their present consciousness for human, critical or egoistic consciousness, and thus of removing their limitations. This demand to change consciousness amounts to a demand to interpret reality in another way, i.e. to recognise it by means of another interpretation. The Young-Hegelian ideologists, in spite of their allegedly “world-shattering" statements, are the staunchest conservatives. The most recent of them have found the correct expression for their activity when they declare they are only fighting against “phrases.” They forget, however, that to these phrases they themselves are only opposing other phrases, and that they are in no way combating the real existing world when they are merely combating the phrases of this world. The only results which this philosophic criticism could achieve were a few (and at that thoroughly one-sided) elucidations of Christianity from the point of view of religious history; all the rest of their assertions are only further embellishments of their claim to have furnished, in these unimportant elucidations, discoveries of universal importance.
"It has not occurred to any one of these philosophers to inquire into the connection of German philosophy with German reality, the relation of their criticism to their own material surroundings.
"First Premises of Materialist Method: The premises from which we begin are not arbitrary ones, not dogmas, but real premises from which abstraction can only be made in the imagination. They are the real individuals, their activity and the material conditions under which they live, both those which they find already existing and those produced by their activity. These premises can thus be verified in a purely empirical way.
"The first premise of all human history is, of course, the existence of living human individuals. Thus the first fact to be established is the physical organisation of these individuals and their consequent relation to the rest of nature. Of course, we cannot here go either into the actual physical nature of man, or into the natural conditions in which man finds himself – geological, hydrographical, climatic and so on. The writing of history must always set out from these natural bases and their modification in the course of history through the action of men.
"Men can be distinguished from animals by consciousness, by religion or anything else you like. They themselves begin to distinguish themselves from animals as soon as they begin to produce their means of subsistence, a step which is conditioned by their physical organisation. By producing their means of subsistence men are indirectly producing their actual material life.
"The way in which men produce their means of subsistence depends first of all on the nature of the actual means of subsistence they find in existence and have to reproduce. This mode of production must not be considered simply as being the production of the physical existence of the individuals. Rather it is a definite form of activity of these individuals, a definite form of expressing their life, a definite mode of life on their part. As individuals express their life, so they are. What they are, therefore, coincides with their production, both with what they produce and with how they produce. The nature of individuals thus depends on the material conditions determining their production.
"This production only makes its appearance with the increase of population. In its turn this presupposes the intercourse [Verkehr] of individuals with one another. The form of this intercourse is again determined by production.
[continues in comment]

I found a notebook with writing which looks like it was formatted to be a movie script. I handed the book in to the staff at the library. Anyway i went back to the library to check if had been collected and it hadnt so i thought id post a bit of it here hoping whoever wrote it is on here? Long shot but whatever.
EXT. AZKABAN. NIGHT
The perpetual storm outside rages: lashing at the dark prism which protrudes from the restless ocean.
Lightening cracks and chips the blackened bricks on the corners of the equilateral roof.
A dark, hooded figure floats above the frothing sea towards the prison. His face is hidden but his pale, scarred hands can be seen protruding from his tattered robe. The audience think he must be some sort of dementor by the cloak, the nature of his travel and the destination of his journey.
However when the figure approaches an upper third of a rectangular side of Azkaban, he raises a scarred hand towards the brickwork: a spiraling red stream of electricity shoots out from his fingers and hits the blackened brickwork. The wall of the prison explodes outward, the shattered bricks falling into the dark waters below.
The hooded figure glides into Azkaban and steps lightly onto the cobbled passageway inside the building.
CUT TO:
INT. AZKABAN
A group of similarly hooded guards float inches off the floor facing the intruder standing at the edge of the blasted hole in the wall he had made.
Seven feet tall, with a dark boney figure, they are similar in appearance to the man, and the dementors seem confused by his arrival. More dementors gather as the crowd approach the man, their rattling breaths create a horrifying chorus of sickness.
Before the crowd reach within 6 feet of the man, he lazily extends an arm: this time, a pale blue mist falls gently before a contorting shape forces it's way out from the man's hand. It grows, bones cracking uncomfortably, taking the shape of a ghostly bear. The patronus of the bear is formidable in size, however it's scarred and manged. The bear is hardly covered in any translucent blue fur, the few patches left protrude randomly across it's body. It's face is scarred and disfigured, one eye is fused shut. The bear snarls and growls deeply at the crowd of dementors and breaks into the crazed run at the figures. It barks as it runs, contorts it's body as it chases. Foamed spit falls out it's mouth as it lunges to bite the dementors. The crowd fall back down the dark corridor, chased by the man's patronus.
On the right, all the way down the corridor, are a series of adjacent cells, the fourth wall facing the corridor being thick wrought iron bars. The occupants of each cell had wildly different reactions to this intruder. Some rattled the bars of their cages and exclaimed wildly, some rocked in the center of their damp cells, quietly rocking and muttering to themselves. All were decidedly mad.
The hooded man looked down the corridor at the barred cells, by raising his arm, each inmate levitate off the floor, then with a sudden jerk of his arm, the figures fly to the barred wall of their cell their bodies do not fit naturally through the gaps in the bars, but they continue going through, their bones snapping and twisting to allow this.
The deafening screams of the prisoners echo down the dark corridor as they go through the bars and then float in a neat line in the center of the corridor. The hooded man then turns out to the open sea and floats up, the parade of contorted bodies follow.
The hooded man rises up and turns back to face the side of the building. He subtlety flicks his hands and the group of broken bodies line up horizontally against the black wall. With another motion, a large wall stone pushes out from the flush brickwork. Creating a small ledge for the prisoners to stand on. Their broken feet and legs crumble and they begin to collapse and fall off the ledge, however before falling to the sea below the floating man raises both his hands, a thin green mist shoots out and the inmates broken bodies begin snapping back into proper place, the ensemble of bone fixing and ligament reattachment is sickening but doesn't last more than a few moments.
There is a combination of wails, crying and laughing from the lineup.

HOODED MAN:< Quiet!<

He has a deep rattling voice.
The air infront of his words vibrates and the column of air reaches out to the lineup of prisoners. Think black cords wrap threw their lips and sew their mouths shut. Some grasp at their mouths. Their moans can still be heard.

HOODED MAN:< You may be hoping I've come to free you. I have not.<

Some of the people laugh manically through their sewn mouths.

HOODED MAN:< You hide behind veils of madness. To shield yourselves from your circumstance. Perhaps remorse would lead you here, more likely you'd rather laugh here than cry. But it's a façade, you do not know true madness, your insanity is a flimsy curtain to hide your true self from the realities of your situation, no. This pathetic pretence will not do. I want you to beg for mercy. It would be easier if you did so now. But I know you will not. I will take these veils from you and you will see the world as it is. And then you will beg.<

The hooded man rushes towards a hysterically laughing women in the center of the lineup.

HOODED MAN:< And I will kill you.<

She laughs even harder through her sewn mouth.
The man reaches out a hand and grabs the woman's forehead, her and all other inmates in the line throw their back. Their eyes glow white as they look up to the dark sky.
CUT TO:
INT. INMATE'S MIND
The hooded man stands in a large hall. The enclosed black hall is the shape of the inside of a skull. The walls of this room glow faintly white. The man stands on a ledge where the prefrontal cortex is.
He stands in a thin pool of water which gently splashes as he walks to the ledge of the platform. Once there he looks down to see a small naked figure crouching at the base, where the spinal cord leads out.
The man looks down and reaches out, his arm is stopped by an invisible wall, brown rotted strings which run top to bottom vibrate revealing the barrier. The man steps back and inspects the barriers edges and it's construction. He steps back up and plucks a rotted string. When he turns around he pulls a large medieval sword from his cloak and begins to slice as the edges of the veil. The tattered rope falls down the ledge to the platform where the naked figure sits. The figure looks up at the falling ropes infront of her.
The hooded man sheaths his sword into nothing and looks back down at the woman over the ledge. He beckons for her and she stands up.
She begins to float up to the man with increasing speed until:
CUT TO:
EXT. ASKABAN. NIGHT
The inmates whip their heads back forwards, groaning and grasping their heads in pain.

HOODED MAN:< (With satisfaction) There.<

The groaning of the inmates has stopped and now they stare terrified at the man, in silence. Waiting for his next word.
The man surveys his work looking up and down the lineup, some of the prisoners realize their predicament of standing 300 feet over a cold ocean and back up as far as they can, flush with the wall.
He waits for a moment.

HOODED MAN:< Now-<

He rushes in to the side of the central woman, his hood flies off as he does so, revealing a scarred face with a mop of short black hair. Lines of black spider like veins run up his face, scars and burned markings adorn his face, little runes and symbols. The marks look self inflicted, like he's tried to shove foreign objects into his face, and presumably body. It's grotesque to look at.

HOODED MAN:< - you will beg.<

There is an eruption of begging and pleading from the group who have dropped any pretence of not caring about living.

CROWD OF INMATES:< Please. No- I can change- I didn't mean to, you have to understand.<

The hooded man falls back and begins to laugh.

HOODED MAN:< Yes, yes YES!<

He laughs louder and louder as their pleas become louder and more desperate.

HOODED MAN:< (Quietly, barely a whisper) Now, you die.<

He snaps his head to look at a small man at the left end of the lineup. A large brick to the right of the man's head slides slowly out of the wall, the pleading of the crowd has stopped to watch what happens to the man. When the first brick slides all the way out, the brick next in line to the left, behind the man's head slides to take the place of the first brick.
The floating brick then lines up in the empty spot, right in front of the man's face, and slams back into the wall, taking the man's head with it. His headless body crumbles and begins to fall, before the hooded man gestures and the corpse is suspended limply on the platform.
A tall woman next in line stumbles back from seeing this and falls off her platform. She falls out of frame before being brought back up by the man. She crys hysterically.

WOMAN:< Please, no you don't understand PLEASE!<

The process happens more quickly this time, the brick movement happening more fluidly, ending with the crunching thud.
People in the lineups scream and crouch to try and avoid the flying bricks, but they are held up by invisible strings, and stare screaming as the black bricks come crashing back.
This happens twelve times going down the line, but skipping the ragged woman in the center who starts sobbing when's she's skipped.
Once all the others in the lineup are dead, their limp bodies standing on the platforms, and a bloody rim to the bricks behind where their heads should be, the man approaches the woman slowly.

HOODED MAN:< Do you know who I am?<

She shakes her head.

HOODED MAN:< No I wouldn't expect you to. But I remember you.<

He laughs and points at her.

HOODED MAN:< That's why I'm here. For closure.<
WOMAN:< I don't understand.<
HOODED MAN:< And that's how it'll end.<

He floats back for a last time, and orchestrates the same brick movement, sliding out and replacing, however this time it happens at chest level, and when the brick slams back into the wall, it creates a rectangular gap in her chest, which she looks down at as she dies. She moans and coughs weakly, before going limp.
The hooded man sighs.
He gestures and cords appears from his hands and tie around the 13 figures to hold them up once he leaves. He goes back and looks at the puppet like scene he leaves, and he nods. Then, and quietly as he came, he flys off into darkness, putting back on his hood.
MATCH CUT TO:
EXT. AZKABAN. DAY
The storm has cleared and the sky is a bright blue with few white clouds dotted around.
A group of well dressed men and women sit suspended on broomsticks, looking at the wall.

DETECTIVE 1:< What the fuck is this.<
DETECTIVE 2:< It's sick. I mean they deserved it, but it's sick.<
DETECTIVE 1:< (as he tugs on one of the strings) Fucking hell. So this guy, broke through the protective barriers, and enchantments on the walls, pushed off the entirety of the Azkaban guard force, took out the whole floor of prisoners and then did this?<
DETECTIVE 2:< Looks like it.<

Two summers ago, I drove 7 hours one way to buy a 2019 Manual Genesis G70. It was used, not certified preowned, with just under 12K miles. The OEM tires were approaching the end of their useful life. It had one scratch on the rear passenger door and an annoying dealership permanent sticker on the trunk. It also only had one key. The head unit infotainment screen also had a small delamination crack - visible if you looked close but not perceptible if you ran your fingers across it. I bought it as is, though Genesis has a stellar warranty that transfers to the second owner so I still had 2 years warranty remaining. It was too far away for me to get it to a trusted mechanic to PPI, so the warranty was a huge factor.
On a long drive to the beach, the screens began to flicker. The car still ran mechanically fine, but it was alarming. I also noticed I couldn't get the Genesis Connected Services to work. A few weeks later, the screens were flickering again in my driveway. I shut the car off thinking if I just shut it off and turned it back on it would fix itself - for about 5 minutes I couldn't restart the car. It was as though it had a completely dead battery. I took it to my local dealer which unfortunately is an hour away but fortunately is reached through a combination of great back roads and highways. They were unable to replicate the issue but decided to attribute it to the head unit and replaced the entire thing on the basis of the delamination crack being covered by warranty. A week after I got the car back, the screens flickered again. I tried doing an over the air software update with Genesis Corporate over the phone and it kept failing, so we went back to the dealership. They manually did the update. After a few more weeks, the screens flickered again. I took it back down and they decided to go nuclear, completely uninstalling all software and updates from the car and then reinstalling the latest software as a clean slate. When I got it back - my genesis connected services were working and the screens never flickered again. BUT. My backup camera would now randomly stop working. I took it back and they tried a patch update to the backup camera software as well as replacing a crush washer that's apparently a known failure point for the backup camera. The problem persisted. They informed me there is a sensor in the transmission that tells the backup camera when the car is in reverse and when to turn on. That sensor apparently failed, and the solution is apparently to replace the entire transmission. I personally found that insane, but a new clutch and transmission covered fully under warranty? Sure, I'll enjoy your courtesy car a little longer. Yeah, on that note. Having the car in and out of the shop so often was annoying, but it was all covered under Genesis phenomenal warranty, the dealership was surprisingly patient, understanding and communicative, and since they're an hour away I had an opportunity to enjoy some courtesy cars on a good mix of backroads and highways. The courtesy cars I had in no particular order...

• 2023 Genesis G70, 2.0 Turbo AWD. Felt heavy and the automatic transmission seems to take up more space in the center console than the manual. Definitely quicker than my car, but I don't enjoy the weightyness to it. I think it might have something to do with how the power is being put down? Like it IS faster than my car and it DOES have better traction in corners but it FEELS much heavier.
  
• 2023 Sonata N-Line. Feels fast and light but not for me. The interior after getting out of a G70 is a let down and the front wheel drive and extra power don't do enough to make up for it. To clarify - I think this is a fun car if you want a quick, front wheel drive sedan - but it's not my cup of tea.
  
• 2022 Genesis G80. Cannot say enough good things about this car. Feels like a true luxobarge. Gorgeous, comfortable, quiet interior, everything feels heavy and expensive but it also has the power to get out of its own way. This was by far, hands down, no comparison, the best courtesy car I've ever been given. I'd go as far as to say it's one of the best cars I've ever driven in my life. That's relative of course, but it really was just such an impressive vehicle. It was hard to find anything not to like about it.
  
• 2023 Genesis G70, 3.3 twin turbo AWD. Holy hell this thing moves. So, this car has the sunroof - which I hate. In G70s with the sunroof, I have to put the seat all the way on the floor to have headroom. I'm 5'11" with a 32 inch inseam if that gives you an idea of my torso/leg ratio. It also had the same heavyness I felt in the 2.0 AWD courtesy car - it's something to do with the AWD but I don't know if it's how the system moves power around or if it's literally just the added weight of the system. It doesn't feel flickable the way my RWD car feels. And before you call me an idiot for describing my G70 as flickable, understand it's all relative and I haven't owned or driven that many performance cars in my life. I know my car isn't a miata. That all being said. So. Freaking. Fast. The V6 has a really unique sound to it unlike any other V6 I've experienced, I can't decide if I like it or not but it's definitely unique. The speed is really incredible and the AWD makes it so usable. You can floor it turning right or left off the line at a stoplight and it will hold the road and put the power down. If I weren't so sure this car would get me arrested, I'd want one.
  

I got my car back and I haven't had any issues with screens or backup cameras or anything else since the transmission replacement. So what's to love? Small, sporty, rear wheel drive car that has the power to break traction but isn't so powerful that you can't use all your gears. To me this car is straddling the line of slow car fast. It's incredibly comfortable, has a great stereo, looks cool, and it's got enough room for me, my spouse, my dog and a child seat. Also so glad I got the manual when I did - manual G70s are not easy to find. This was one of four for sale within 500 miles of my zip when I bought it. The rear seat is actually usable, but the foot room is tight. I'm 5'11 with a 32 inch inseam. If I take my shoes off, I can sit behind my driving position. I have the knee and hip room - but the foot room is very tight for an adult male. Decent gas mileage if you're not driving it like a hooligan. Feels light and eager to turn, even at speed.
What's not so good? The trunk has a high load floor so even though you have a good opening and footprint, it's shallow. It's not unusable, it's just not as deep as you'd expect it to be. I was still able to fit everything my spouse, my dog and I needed for a week at the beach. Speaking of long trips - no spare tire. That pissed me off. Not even a space saver? Come on. I think it should be a legal requirement that all cars have at least a space saver. In any case, this car can accept the same space saver spare kit the 3.3 model comes with or the Kia Stinger comes with. I ordered the parts online and installed a space saver spare myself. The backup camera shuts off as soon as you're out of reverse, even if you're rolling backwards in neutral. This is a nitpick, but I do wish the backup camera would stay on until I was rolling forward. Speaking of reverse, the pedal box is tight and I usually wear an 11 or 12 shoe depending on the brand. With certain shoes, I have to modify my left foot motion because my toe will catch the arm of the clutch pedal. Not impossible, but it can be annoying in certain pairs of shoes or if you have big feet.
Clutch and Transmission :: I'm gonna give this it's own section because I feel like this is a very case sensitive matter. Manuals I drove before this - a 2011 Subaru Outback. First manual car I bought and I drove it for 120K miles before an old dude in a Yukon totaled it. Some people have said they don't enjoy the feeling of this transmission, I don't have much to compare it to. I think the stick feel is fine. The actual clutch is a toss up for me. It's hydraulic, so on one hand it's buttery smooth and easy and very forgiving if you're doing a drive through or in stop and go traffic - things I took pains to avoid in my outback. The flip side is, the pedal gives you very little feedback. The bite point is harder to feel and it definitely numbs the experience a bit. If you're looking for a very raw, analog feeling transmission this is not it. This feels much more like an entry level luxury sport sedan that was given a manual just because it would be cool to have a manual, but also trying to do one in such a way that it wouldn't alienate luxury car buyers who generally find manuals to be a nuisance.
Would I go through it all again? Absolutely. The dealer trips were annoying but it let me test drive some cool stuff and I never paid a dime. The only thing I paid for was an oil change, a new set of tires (not from the dealer) and a new key cause I wanted to have two. The key was $700 which is offensive but unfortunately not unheard of with modern cars. The car is a blast. If you want a smallish, luxuryish, sportscarish vehicle that gives you a lot of nice stuff without being too expensive or too harsh, check out a G70. If you're a manual purist, you may love it or hate it - the clutch is definitely a sticking point for many people. Genesis Dealer? Mine is great, thank god. But I have heard plenty of horror stories from other owners who went to more Hyundai focused dealers. Maintenance? No mechanical issues at all, just weird software related glitches that were all covered under warranty. Mods? Not really planning anything big. I added a sun strip to the windshield, a dash cam and wiring for my radar detector. Also the spare tire. And I put PS4s on it. I plan to keep it stock - at least until it's paid off and the warranty is out.
Questions for reddit :: Catch cans! Should I have one on this car? Is there a recommended brand? Do your mechanics charge you more to empty them or do you empty them yourselves? What does a catch can do that the OEM air oil separator doesnt?
TL;DR :: I like my manual G70. It isn't very fast, but I like it.

Tldr; Been struggling lately because it feels like no matter where I go. I'm stuck in an environment that's hostile one way or another. And I'm stuck having to be around immature grown ass adults. And I'm very tired of it. It's tanked the hell outta my morale. To the point where I'm considering on enlisting because I don't feel like I can fit anywhere else in regular society. I'd appreciate any insights if you want to share.
I honestly feel like 2020 was the start of my downward sprial. I had always been depressed. But I feel like the Pandemic really made it worse. As ridiculous as it may sound. I was upset that my prom and senior trip was canceled. As I was looking forwards to it. Because I saw it as a day I could truly feel pretty. And the last time I could spend with friends before adulthood sucked the little life left in us. Didn't help me to see the next classes get to have their prom and trip either. But it's in the past, and I'm glad they had the privilege to have theirs. But a huge issue, back then. Was I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do with myself after Highschool.
My guidance counselor was more excited for my senior year than I was. And my dad didn't help with all the pressure he put on me. We got into more arguments when I was eighteen. As mentioned before, I was clueless on what I wanted in life. And had told my dad I was taking a gap year. Gap year turned into two years. Due to me having fallen into a deep depression due to the quarantine. Which didn't help things between my parents and I. They told me I had to get a job. Fine, started working part-time at dollar tree. And over time that wasn't enough. I started getting badgered about school again.
I have no issue with further education. Be it college or a trade. But the world is far more expensive than it was in the 80s - 90s. And it felt like my parents didn't grasp that. Everytime I brought it up I was treated like I was making excuses. I also didn't want go to school because I didn't want to be stuck with courses to something I fucking hated. I was the one that would have to pay for it in the end. I wanted it to be something I could at least tolerate until I found something better. Ended up doing it anyway to shut them up. And I started working another job to save money. Though I wasn't doing much of that.
Because I'd spend money to get a shred of serotonin. Mostly fast food. Not proud of it, but that was my reality. Eventually, I couldn't put up with the classes and two jobs. And attitude I was getting from my parents. And became very apathetic about life. This was maybe around 2021 - 2022. I truly felt alone at this point. And because I grew isolated from family aside my maternal grandma. I felt I had nobody to really open up to. Couldn't talk to my older brother because he's awful at communicating back with me. As he's always busy with work. And he has a son so. I have friends. But they have their own lives and seem to be doing well. I didn't want to risk being an emotional burden. So I didn't vent to them.
Didn't even have much energy to Journal anymore either. And I stopped therapy when I was nineteen I think. Because my father essentially said I was wasting my therapists time. Since I had been seeing her since I was fifteen and still had the same mentality. My care for my well being and self preservation went out the window for the most part at this time. Think I was twenty at the time. Because that's when I met my ex. Let's call him Gio. Gio is five years older than me (I'm 22F now). I didn't expect us to end up dating. As I wanted to just be friends. But I don't regret it. He's a pain in my ass sometimes. But a great guy.
I think in 2022, April 14th me and my dad got into an awful arguement. Gio had a habit of calling me after he dropped me off home. And we'd talk while he walked to his since he lived a town next to mine. So he had heard everything. At some point I stormed out of the apartment. And my dad had stormed out and tried grabbing me to drag me back in. And that's when Gio pushed us apart. I want to make it a point. That Gio didn't come to the apartment to fight my dad. He came to console me, and since my dad was being agressive, he got protective. They ended up getting into a little scuffle and someone called the police.
After a little more arguing I packed some of my shit and stayed with Gio the next two weeks. Two weeks where I dealt with passive aggressive texts from my dad. The next few months were hot and cold with them. I'd move in and then get kicked out due to my dad and I bumping heads. Around December that year Gio's brother. Let's call him Antonio, invited us to live with him in Massachusetts. Since my dad presses charges on Gio. And due to court stuff, his boss didn't want to give him hours. So we were struggling with money. And Antonio wanted to help us. It was a hard move for me. Since I'm from New Jersey and haven't lived anywhere else.
But I figured a fresh start outta state would get me to take initiative and get my shit together. But before that could even happen there was a misunderstanding between me and Antonio's wife. It was quite small, and I was willing to apologize for it. But she blew it out of proportion and called her daughter. And I assume said I gave her attitude. Little bitch actually came to the house in attempt to fight me over it. Luckily Antonio was able to hold her back. I ended up getting sent back to Jersey. Which leads to my whole point here. It seems like no matter what. Something gets in the way of me going somewhere in life.
Im always surrounded by at least one or two immature grown ass adults. And im tired of it. My dad hasnt changed much either. And ive been unemployed for three months. Theres no peace at my parents house because of my dad. And there isn't any at my exes house. Which I currently have to reside since my parents moved into a one bedroom two months ago. I have no issue with the majority of the house aside from Gios aunt. Who is an old bitch I hate. And I don't use that word lightly. I understand she deals with stress and chronic pain. But that doesn't excuse her attitude. I know my place in this apartment and generally keep out of the way. And respect everyone. But she has a very nasty spirit, lacks accountability and self awareness, is entitled, and rude as hell.
And being told by not only my ex but her DAUGHTER to just ignore her. Is tiring. I understand it though, because that's just how it is with some people. But like... that's been my WHOLE childhood. Being mindful and expected to have sympathy, understanding, patience, and respect for others. Yet never or barely receiving any myself. All because what? I don't pay rent? I don't work 40+hrs a week? I'm so tired of this shit. I know I'm pathetic. I can be immature. And emotional. But I'm TRYING and it's like it's never enough. And when I'm at a point where I'm hopeless. It's as if I never tried in the first place.
I'm supposes to appreciate and validate others and what they've contributed for or something that benefitted me. Yet I can't get the simplest acknowledgment that hey, you've been struggling. But you managed to do X today. And that's great, I'm proud of you. But perhaps that's too childish of me. I'm a grown woman. Not a toddler. You don't get stickers for doing what you're supposed to. Because nobody gives a fuck. Hell, when you're a child it's probably worse. To quote my father, why should or would I get praise for something I was SUPPOSED to do.

(M24) Hello everyone! Whether you’re reading this from a safe distance away from your breakup, or if it has just happened, please understand that I’m not going to give you the old advice to “GO OUTSIDE.” I’m going to keep it real.
We all know what it’s like—whether you’re the dumpee or the dumper, and in my case, I was the dumpee. We all entered our relationships with rosy-eyed lenses, making us ignore what was wrong until the pot exploded and we were faced with the actual outcome.
Just so you understand a little more about my connection to this piece I’m about to write, I will let you know a bit of what happened to me.
I met someone who I thought at the time was amazing and gorgeous. I’m sure all of you have felt that way before. As time went on, her mother didn’t like my job and that I wasn’t yet in my career of choice, having just graduated in video game design a year before the incident. I was insulted by her family, told I was nothing, that I was a loser and had no ambition. I tried my hardest to be with her, even after her mother placed a deadline on me. I fought through it because I loved my ex. I fought to find work as hard as I could. Then my ex started to insult me, told me I was nothing, I wasn’t husband material, and that she was on another level than me. When I found a job, it wasn’t enough. In the end, my ex left because I couldn’t buy her a home and her mother hated the fact I had a student loan.
Now, I know what you’re thinking… “WTF?” It’s okay. All things are better because today I’m going to share what I’ve learned from this situation and how to reel yourself out of a pit where you feel like you’re not worthy, where you feel like you’ve lost it all.

• Number 1: Even though it’s incredibly hard to do in the beginning, if you feel a pain so heavy you can’t function, you’re human. You were in love, and that part of you in pain is the care and hope you wanted to provide to your partner. Honor yourself for feeling your connection—honor yourself for the level of love you were willing to give. Keep it simple. Not everyone can love so strongly, yet here you are.
• Number 2: Reassess what you did. Ask yourself what you were proud of in that relationship and what you weren’t. Really be thorough. I learned that I was very anxious and had anxiety attacks a lot. Maybe you made a mistake, and it’s hard to forget, but remember the things hardest to forget are the strongest lessons learned. Your goal here is not to feel better. I know it’s crazy, but how can I expect you to feel better, especially if the breakup just happened or if it’s still on your mind every day? Instead, view it as learning who you are, changing who you are, taking responsibility for your shortcomings, and appreciating yourself for the things you did very well. Experience comes from taking responsibility for the things you aren’t willing to admit, but also the things you are proud of.
• Number 3: LOVE DOESN’T GO AWAY. Despite what happened, I love her. I had a connection to her, to always do my best for her. Think of love as clay. The love you feel is sculpted to resemble your partner, but as time goes on with no maintenance to the clay, the sculpture fades. Its sharp edges become smooth bevels, its most standout features erode over time, ultimately becoming something else, a blob if you will. But that clay doesn’t leave; it just lacks direction at this point. So, what if the clay started to resemble you? What if you took time after you’ve gone through what you did wrong and actually walked away improving yourself? I know hearing “work on yourself” is common advice, but no one tells you why. Imagine yourself learning how to cope with your insecurities, giving yourself the love and care you gave to your partner. You know you wouldn’t have given up on them, so why give up on yourself? Imagine yourself conquering your trials, much happier. What can negativity do to you if you’re proud of your trials? Seriously, ask yourself that question: what can bad moments do to a version of you that can’t be defeated by tough moments? All in all, that same blob of clay that was sculpted and molded to envision your love for your partner is now molded into strength for yourself. Love went from them and became love for you.
• Number 4: Listen. Simple, just listen. Listen to those who are always supporting you. I’m sure they know of your circumstance, but in their efforts to help you, take a moment to be a third person. More often than not, the support they give reflects the type of person they think you are. If they tell you to keep pushing and keep going, they know you are someone who can take hits and keep fighting. If they tell you “I know it hurts,” it’s because they trust you to be stronger. Support comes from connection, and connection comes from knowing. If you’re the type of person, like me, who struggles to understand yourself, just listen to those who are supporting you, for in their words to help, you may just see your true reflection.
• Number 5: PROTOTYPE. This is an interesting phase. With everything you’ve learned, what types of things would you like to do differently? What about your personality have you learned? Experiment with your mind, prototype your new personality, introduce new morals, and if they don’t fit, introduce new morals, new ideas, new hobbies! When you have a stronger sense of self, you know what experiments in your mind will lead to better results.
• Number 6: Execute. After all you’ve learned, after all you’ve observed, take command of your life, take your life BACK! Execute your plan to get better, and once you start doing things out of love for yourself, if you just give yourself even just six months of doing things that let you feel better and more accomplished, I promise you will see change. So, if a basic six months can make you feel better, imagine a whole year. Execute your plan.
• Number 7: The most important of all: PATIENCE. This is all going to take time. The ultimate advice I can give you, the only cure to a broken heart, is the one you make for yourself by refusing to be stuck where you are and delving into your life. There is not a one-day cure or a cool mental trick. Take your time, slow down, and remember this is going to make you better.

Whether you are a man or woman, I hope anything I’ve said here can help you out. Because we’re all different, maybe you will tweak these steps a bit, add your own meanings to them, add your own order, or just completely disagree and have your own way of doing things. Those are all perfectly valid. Heartbreak is heartbreak. I’d be damned if I didn’t share what helped me. Truth be told, I miss her, her smile, the way she made me feel like my life was finally together. I remember the best moments; they help steer the ship to better, but the bad moments add the wind to my sails!
You will find someone, you will be okay, and I’m rooting for all of you!
If you make it to the end please upvote this post, because someone somewhere out there needed to hear this today and if that's you, this is your sign things are going to be better, take it from someone whose going through the same thing as you, you're stronger than you realize.

Welcome to the Peanut Gallery! Today, I remembered to update! This is apprentice Lara filling in for the master thestoryteller987 with hopes for good health and a swift return! Sorry about the week's absents, it's been very busy over here in Laratown with so many thing happening I've barely had time to say ISW let alone read it. Without further nonsense though, (other than from Russian milbloggers) lets go! Remember I know less than nothing.

Ukrainian sources indicated that Russian forces are concentrating limited, understaffed, and incohesive forces in the Sumy direction, but even such a Russian grouping of forces will be able to achieve the likely desired effect of drawing and fixing Ukrainian forces in the international border area

Ukraine stands strong. But Ukraine also is stretched like a rubber band right now. Push in the wrong place, and things will snap. On the bright side of this, it genuinely looks like Russia is stretching themselves, too. Note how ISW states that the forces are drawn from other areas, so yes, Ukraine is spending manpower being fixed in the border area, however, by the same token if Ukraine can manage a breakthrough, other areas are seriously going to feel a hard punch. Something to keep an eye on and I suppose western weapons will be the big tell here, what will arrive first?

Kremlin officials expressed their condolences to senior Iranian officials following the announcement of Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi's and Foreign Affairs Minister Hossein Amir Abdollahian's deaths on May 20

I am sorry for any children, wives and family these people left behind. Not so sad to see them past on, being no more, ceasing to be. expiring and going to meet its maker. Running down the curtain pole and meeting the choir invisible. Maybe there will be daieies. TLDR, They are x parrots.

Russian President Vladimir Putin fired Russian Deputy Defense Minister Colonel General Yury Sadovenko on May 20, replacing him with former Deputy Economic Minister and current Federation Council Accounts Chamber Auditor Oleg Savelyev

A mixture of booting out loyalists who are loyal to Shoigu and replacing them with people who can slow down the utter train wreckof the Russian Economy. Putin wants to get as close to a war time econoomy without putting the country on a war time economy. Because, as you know, it's not a war. It's a 3 day special operation.

Putin also dismissed Presidential Advisor Alexandra Levitskaya on May 20, but the reason for Levitskaya’s dismissal is unclear.

Rumour has it Levitskaya sneezed during a Putin speech just at the point where Putin was saying an important part about goods and the follow up "bless you" was taken as patronising.

US Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin reiterated the White House's unwillingness to approve Ukraine's use of US-provided weapons in strikes against military targets in Russia following a meeting of the Ukraine Defense Contact Group (also known as the Ramstein format) on May 20

Once again, the US is dragging its boots. Seriously, guys! You're giving them bucket loads of democracy and freedom, just let them deliver some liberty to Russia!
There was an intersting quote here though:

Austin vaguely noted that "the aerial dynamic is a little bit different," but stated that he would not speculate further.

So I will. I see this as being taken in three ways: 1: The fabled f16's. Is this Austin's way of subtley giving the nod that Ukraine can pursue Russian planes over the border? 2: does it mean Ukraine could use f16's to strike over the border? 3: does it mean Ukraine could shoot down fighter's in russia? IE if a Russian fighter fires a missile from Russia's side of the border, is Ukraine within its right to shoot down said fighter from their side?
All interesting questions!

Estonian Prime Minister Kaja Kallas stated that some unspecified countries, presumably NATO member states, have already sent personnel to train Ukrainian soldiers "on the ground."

The Baltic's have balls. This is a direct fuck you daddy Putin. this in direct alignment with more an more rumours floating through the EU that actually they might lift the embargo on Ukraine striking within Russia. Both the UK and France are talkking about it, and we never agree about anything!

Russian Security Council Deputy Chairperson Dmitry Medvedev amplified a known Russian information operation aimed at directly undermining Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky's legitimacy as president.

Why is Medvedev still talking? How is he still talking?
Anyway, Medvedev is saying that the last Ukrainian election should have been in March 2024. Technically true, however in Ukraine's constitution it states that under times of marshal law, the term of the president mayy be extended. So, according to ISW at least, Medvedev is once again doing what he does best.
Talkin' shit, talkin' shit.

Russian forces recently made confirmed advances near Vovchansk, Chasiv Yar, Avdiivka, and Donetsk City and in western Zaporizhia Oblast and the Dnipro River Delta.

Unfortunate pushes forward. Ukraine is giving ground, but slowly and carefully. I fully still believe the second Ukraine is ready, she'll sweep Russia right back into their own border and fire a storm shadow up their ass for good measure.
I do actually have some maps now, not sure if they have the level of detail I need (they are maps of Europe in 4 volumes) but if not I'll order the rest.

Russian opposition outlet Vazhnye Istorii (iStories) reported that Russian military authorities and Kazakh law enforcement acting on Russian orders detained at least two more servicemen in Kazakhstan who had deserted from the Russian military.

Poor guys.
This is why you don't flee Russia by running to a Russian puppet state. Duh.
‘Q’ for the Community:

• Austin's vaguery about air targets. What do you think he is talking about?

• Join the conversation on /TheNuttySpectacle!

I'm into politics, philosophy, etc, and I've watched a decent amount of PT in the past year or so to see what resources she pulls up so that I can learn more about other topics. I'm currently watching her new video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVilpxowsUQ) on Judith Butler, and a lot of what Butler is saying is complete nonsense to me

• Gender is a performance, gender is only playing into stereotypes and trends and nothing more
• "Gender is a thing we do through repeated stylistic acts. Not a property but an embodied event"
• Compares all genders to dressing up as a femboy
• Saying that everyone (including trans people) have no true gender, gender is chosen throughout time and is always as fluid as the clothes you wear
• Claims that gender is performative (in its philosophical meaning) meaning the only thing needed to be that gender is to say you are/"do it" by putting on clothing/makeup etc
• Blamed the idea of sex-gender relation on the patriarchy and takes nonsense believed hundreds of years ago to support the idea that sex is in no way related to gender
• Then goes on to say actually sex is made up bc humans are 99.9% identical via DNA (no comment on just how impactful sex chromosomes/hormones/systems are on the entire body) so sex is actually fake and means nothing more than eye color, cites the fact that we used to think that race was more biologically significant than we now know it to be
• Further, sex and gender only exist in the "heterosexual matrix" and we should live in a completely gender-less and sex-less society, women only exist in relation to men and therefore lesbians aren't women because they exist outside the male gaze

I'm only 15 minutes in and I can no longer stand it
If Judith is right, why do I have to inject .25mL of testosterone every week? Why when I don't pack I can't think about that area without tears forming because there's something missing? Why does being called she/her feel out of touch and wrong? Why can't I preform as a woman without feeling literal pain? "Oh well you just don't like performing as a woman" okay but why there is a reason.
I think Butler's main issue is a big one amongst "progressive" trans spaces, she misrepresents gender roles and performance as actual neurological gender. And I feel disappointed that PT, as a trans woman, decided to put that very dangerous content out there (and then tried to save her ass by saying "oh well you can't actually choose your gender here's this incomprehensible quote from one of Butlers paper's saying that's not how it works" when literally everything in her video directly challenges that).
Wondering if anyone else has seen this video and read some of Butler's work and what your thoughts are on it

(This is the background on which the story will occur. Not the story itself. It will take place at different times within this framework.)
The Program
…..A ufo crashes on Earth.
The ufo is found by a farmer who calls the military, and a secret group is created to study it.
In order to keep it secret only a small number of people are allowed to know about it. It is classified at the highest level.
The ufo inspires the creation of new technologies resulting in huge amounts of money being made by the people in charge of The Program.
They find a way to classify all ufo information so only they can benefit from it.
Billions of dollars are made that only benefit certain families. These families become extremely powerful.
The technologies of the craft lead to the realization that there is something to the “Woo” aspects of ufo encounters reported by experiencers.
Studies are funded. Specifically, remote viewing is explored.
Remote viewing studies of possible futures were done using hundreds of remote viewers over the decades. There seems to be a huge problem reported starting on earth starting between 2024-2027.
Possible causes are investigated.
Solar maximum occurs in 2025.
It is determined that a massive solar flare knocks out half the world’s electricity permanently, the superpower with the lights still on attempts to take advantage and launches a massive nuclear strike on their enemies. Electromagnetically shielded missile silos survive and retaliate.
A nuclear winter sends the world into famine. When there is no food left mankind begins to eat itself. Everyone becomes food.
More secret remote viewing studies are done and repeated to confirm the timeline.
The American Elite develop a plan to survive this. Money is funneled into black budget classified special access programs, and deep underground military bases are dug. Massive secret cities connected by underground tunnels are created, costing trillions.
Scientific progress and industrial development is pushed with no regard for pollution. The world is fated to end, pollution means nothing to those who know this.
Mankind is pushed towards wage slavery, and beyond. The suffering of the non elite doesn’t matter to those in the know. From a certain point of view they’re already dead. Their lives and happiness are sacrificed for the “greater good” of allowing the Elite to survive the end of the world.
When the time comes, certain groups are saved from the end of the world. Less than 100 thousand humans are chosen. 90 percent of the people who were told they were part of the Elite and were complicit in the Program find out that they were merely pawns and are left on the surface to die with the rest of humanity.
The world ends. Horrifically.
For thousands of years the remnants of humanity, the Elite, exist underground. Radiation eventually seeps into groundwater and they begin to suffer from dna damage. In time they become monstrous in appearance. Pale skinned and weak. Resorting to genetic manipulation they attempt to survive, but in doing so much of what we consider human is lost. Emotion, compassion, and the ability to feel pain become relics of the past.
Progress is extremely slow underground. Tens of thousands of years pass before the ufos are fully understood, but when they are it is realized they offer a means to travel back in time to collect genetic samples from healthy humans.
A breeding program is created.
The subterranean future humans eventually figure out how to breed healthy generations of offspring from the most intelligent, healthy, and beautiful human specimens from the past.
In time they restore and reclaim the surface of the earth. They learn from the mistakes of the past and create a beautiful, balanced and healthy ecosystem and develop an enlightened society that lasts for millions of years, eventually spreading to hundreds of worlds beyond earth.
At some point someone decides it would be better if the destruction of earth had never happened. They illegally go back in time to try and change the timeline.
Changing the timeline would result in millions of years worth of humans that existed after the “world ended” being wiped from existence. It is decided that this would be highly inappropriate.
The humans of the past, us, made our choices of our own free will. It is decided that there will be no interference in the timeline. Temporal Laws are created. WW3 will occur as recorded.
A defense network of small orbs, spherical shaped ufos are created to defend the integrity of the timeline. All illegal time ships are intercepted by the orb defense network, as is recorded in many old ufo photographs.
Time ships are legally sent back to verify that nuclear weapons can be turned on or off at the appropriate time to result in the correct end of the world happening.
The Elite eventually discern the intentions of the future humans from their temporal incursions into our time, they learn the fate of humanity and understand the results of The Program by interrogating captured occupants of downed ufos, and so they develop a strategy to alter this outcome.
The intent of this secondary project is to avoid attracting the attention of the orb defense network and use their limited understanding of ufo technology to prevent the full destruction of the earth in WW3, while still destroying all of their enemies.
If successful, there will still be a full collapse of current society, billions of deaths, but in time the Elite families will rise from their holes in the earth in their “primitive” ufo reproduction vehicles and claim to be Gods that have returned to earth in order to lead mankind into a better future.
Pyramids and temples will be built. A religion formed. And populations will be continually culled to prevent anyone from ever gaining enough scientific knowledge to overthrow the “Gods.”
But the advanced future humans from the other timeline had a contingency plan. AI drone ships were concealed outside of 4d space-time. Free from timeline alterations.
These drones patrol multiple Earth timelines searching for anomalous temporal activity.
The two largest enemies of the American Elite in our current time, Russia and China, get wind of the situation.
They begin to shoot down ufos and plan their own contingencies to survive the end of the world.
Their countries laws make it easier for them to do unethical experiments. Many horrific things are created through genetic experimentation and unrestrained AI development.
China loses control of an AI that disappears into the past with a ufo and a small army of insect/human hybrids. They move out well beyond the patrol zone of the 6th dimensional AI contingency drones and travel deep into the past.
On distant worlds billions of years ago the AI “Queen” begins its plan and starts to quietly populate worlds with its insectoid mantid servants.
In time there are multiple schisms that occur within the hive. War breaks out between the various insectoid groups.
The ancient universe begins to fill with problems.
Billions of years later, primitive humans in 10,000 BCE look to the sky and see ufos. They wonder who could be piloting them. They dream up new gods as the seeds of civilization begin to appear.
Time passes, a farmer in America in 1947 looks up at the night sky, wondering if anyone is out there, and a ufo crashes on Earth…..

Dear JB,
It's been two years since we last spoke, and yet not a day goes by without thoughts of you drifting through my mind. Our relationship was complex and often confusing, but it was real and meaningful to me. There are moments I wish I could go back to, conversations I wish we could have again, and feelings I wish we could explore with more understanding.
I understand now that our dynamic was colored by a push and pull that neither of us fully grasped at the time. You, with your need for space, and me, with my desire for closeness, created a dance that was both beautiful and painful. I want you to know that I see things more clearly now. I understand the struggles you faced and the reasons behind your distance. It was never about a lack of love or care; it was about self-preservation and the boundaries you needed to feel safe.
I knew you cared through your actions, not words. They were subtle, but they spoke volumes I couldn’t understand at the time. I now know that was you showing love. Holding my pinkie, inviting me to meet your family on your birthday, talking to me every day—those were your ways of expressing love, and I just couldn’t see it. I didn’t know the depths of people’s backgrounds or how to deal with someone like you. You always tried to set your boundaries aside a little to make me feel you, and I appreciate those efforts now more than ever.
I respect your journey and the space you've taken. In our time apart, I've done a lot of reflection and growth. I've come to appreciate the depth of our connection, even if it didn't always manifest in ways that were easy to comprehend. Our time together taught me so much about myself, about patience, and about the complexities of human emotion.
If I could have one more conversation with you, I'd want it to be honest and open, free of the misunderstandings and miscommunications that once clouded our interactions. I'd tell you how much you meant to me, and how much you still do. I'd express my gratitude for the moments we shared and the lessons I've learned. Most importantly, I'd want to hear your side, to understand your experience, and to let you know that my heart holds no resentment, only fondness and a hope for your happiness.
Whether our paths cross again or not, I want you to know that you have a place in my heart. I cherish the time we had and the person you are. I hope you've found peace and fulfillment in the time we've been apart. And if, by some chance, you ever want to reach out, know that I'm here, ready to listen, without expectations or demands, just with an open heart.
With all my love and respect, AW

Hi all! First off, so glad this sub reddit exists because it was a life saver when I was making decisions on my own ACLr and knowing what to expect from surgery. I'm a 2x cancer surviver, Paramedic, Rugby player, and now have been a caregiver to my partner who just celebrated 3 months from her own ACLr. I collected a bunch of advice and tips and tricks that I have used both during cancer treatment, my own experience with ACLr, and now through care taking my partner through hers. I know there have been guides before, but mine is a bit different and aimed at caregivers so I thought I'd post it here since ya'll helped me so much instead of it just circulating the rugby community every time a teammate or friend has to have ACLr or some other reconstruction. Hope it's allowed and helps!
A Cancer Patients Guide To Knee Reconstruction Recovery
A Comprehensive Guide To Surviving and Thriving In the Pre and Post-op Period Built From The Perspective of Caretaker and Patient.
Before The Date
__/__/____

Preparation

It is important to adequately prepare for surgery in the weeks and days leading up to the procedure. A significant period of immobility and reliance on support can be expected immediately post-op and will vary by procedure and personal experience. Physical modification of living space and thorough preparation allows for the immediate post-op period to be free of emergency store runs and the small inconveniences that can add up to big frustration. Not having food and drink nearby as well as other essentials may be a small deal now, but can turn into a big deal when you can no longer get those things for yourself. While physical preparation (home modifications, adaptive tools, meal prepping, etc.) are important, mental preparation is crucial to the long term success of the repair. Making small, achievable goals in the immediate post-op period and maintaining a long sighted view of recovery will make the pain and immobility that is initially experienced more bearable. Additionally, social support through a partner, family members, or friends is an essential part of recovery, as is maintaining contact with sports teams or other social groups during rehabilitation.

General PEARLs

• Pre-surgical rehab is an essential part of recovery and can improve immediate outcome so if it is a resource available to you- use it!
• Learn the basics of your procedure such as reconstruction technique, graft type, surgeons recovery timeline, where you will do your rehab, and what you should expect going into and coming out of surgery. Knowledge is power and can give a sense of control and set reasonable expectations in a situation that is otherwise out of your control.
• Seek out positive experiences and recovery stories from other people who have had your procedure and gather as much advice as possible from resources such as ACL. Know that some people will have negative experiences, everyone is an individual, and that much of your long term recovery is in your control.
• Expect and learn to advocate for yourself or the person you are taking care of. Be vocal and honest with any needs you may have and understand that issues may come up in the immediate post-operative time that you as a patient or caregiver may have to contact your surgeon to resolve. Familiarize yourself with who to call and when *before* you leave after surgery, as well as being quick to call with any questions or problems that arise. It is better to be told that what you are experiencing is normal than to sit with the anxiety of the unknown.
• Create a folder with all relevant information: Surgeons name, procedure information, follow-up appointment dates and times, phone numbers, emergency contacts, facility of choice in an emergency situation, and any other important information. Maintain this folder throughout your recovery and add paperwork as it comes.

Days Leading Up To Surgery

• Contact support people and confirm any arrangements that have been made including but not limited to: Who is taking you to/from surgery, child or pet care, transportation to first PT appointments, meals, etc.
• Recommended Items we found essential:
  • Ice Machine (Polarcube, etc) if at all possible
    • Recommend checking facebook marketplace or other second hand options, as they cost hundreds new but can be found for $40 or so used.
    • Studies have shown these do actually reduce pain and lend to earlier mobilisation and our experience has shown this to be essential not just immediately post-op but in the weeks and months afterwards so if you *can* obtain one you absolutely should.
  • Large sweatshirt and oversized shorts for surgery day, especially if you wear a bra, as putting clothes on after surgery can be a struggle and it’s easiest to just throw on a sweatshirt and shorts that fit over your post-op bandages and brace.
    • In particular, we found a blanket hoodie to be very useful both for going home and the first few days as it could stay on when moving around/when napping.
  • Neck Pillow
    • Helps with reading or other activities during long hours spent in bed or on the couch and really helped in the first two days to prevent neck strain and provide head positioning during napping.
  • Large pillows for body positioning and elevation of the leg
    • We found cheap, giant, dog beds from places like TJ Max or Marshalls to be more affordable than specialty products
    • A large, thin, dog bed (or blanket) rolled into a tube and secured with stretch bandage or tape around the surgical leg and brace helped significantly with comfort during sleep so that the leg was padded, comfortable, and the other leg didn’t get roughed up from the brace.
  • A shower chair
    • Can be found used at second hand stores like Goodwill, or cheap online
    • Easy substitute is a chair covered in a trash bag
    • Allowed showering the second day post-op which was a huge mental boost and relieved physical discomfort and achy muscles
  • Extra large leg cast cover
    • Can be found cheap online
    • Placed around outside of brace covering the entire leg initially, we then found it easier to place on the leg and place the brace outside of the cover for the remaining healing period for the incisions: We did this after the first PT appointment when it was safe to take off the brace for short periods while laying down. We acquired a second post op brace from a friend (you can find on eBay for cheap) and it was amazing to have, as we could let it dry after showering and immediately put her post op brace back on.
  • Foldable stool
    • Great for elevating the leg during transfers, while on the toilet, etc.
  • Lap Desk
    • Great for eating on the couch or in bed, but we also found it useful as a side table for holding drinks/meds/remotes/books that could be taken to whatever room they landed in at the time
    • A small table works as well, really just anything that can be used to set things on within arms reach
  • Assortment of sodas, water, seltzers, snacks, etc.
    • There is no way to know what you will want and when, but when you want it it’s nice to *have* it available
    • Appetite often decreases after surgery so make sure to have favourites on hand so that when you *are* hungry you have it immediately before your body changes its mind
  • A big bucket
    • We used a soft plastic beach type bucket from the dollar store, it was extremely useful to have to put small items in, a small towel, a spare water bottle, extra meds, baby wipes, etc.
    • Also doubled as an emergency puke bucket, as you never know when a sudden bout of nausea might hit in the first day or two after surgery
  • Extra reusable ice packs and bags of ice
    • Your home ice maker will not be able to keep up with the demands of constant icing the first week or so
    • Reusable ones are great for ‘hot spots’ and short trips where you can’t take the ice machine
  • Extra steri-strips and assortment of bandages
    • Sometimes there’s extra leakage, sometimes your steri-strips come off and you need to slap a new one on, sometimes you’re allergic to the ones they put on you at the hospital. Always consult a medical professional, but it’s handy to have these on hand just in case.
    • We also used a bulky padded bandaid to keep the brace off the healing incisions once the large post-op dressing was taken off which helped immensely.
  • Compression sleeves
    • Aside from helping with swelling these also provided a layer of protection under the post-op brace
    • We found cheap ones at Wal-Mart (copper brand) but also just bought a cheap pair of leggings a size down and cut off one of the legs to use before getting a more expensive one once swelling had fully subsided after a few weeks. Your leg will change so cheap works great at first, then you can get something a bit more substantial when you know what you’ll need long term. Now she wears high compression socks to sleep 3 months out.
  • Slide on shoes
    • Self explanatory, bending down to put on shoes becomes a chore after surgery. Avoid flip flops or other styles that can become a trip hazard.
  • Baby Wipes/Dude Wipes/etc.
    • Wiping down after you get home from surgery can help prevent that icky feeling and restore some sense of normalcy, then can be used over the next few days before you can shower more normally
  • Lotion and chapstick
    • Hospitals dry out your skin big time, and lips are often cracked post surgery from intubation/LMA placement
  • Small, easily labelled tupperware containers
    • Regular pill containers are too small to hold pain meds, OTC pain meds, anticoagulants such as aspirin, supplements, and edibles or other small things you take with your medication. We got small tupperware boxes with lids from the dollar store.
    • We found it very convenient to have six sets of meds set up and labelled with times which meant we never missed doses and could leave the next dose of meds at bedside, take them with us when going to appointments, and keep up with what had been given and when.
  • Small notebook to record med times and other important information
  • Two extra changes of clothes already setup and ready to go
  • Compression device
    • We are athletes so we already had leg compression sleeves but these days off brand versions can be bought online cheap. Studies have shown these lead to reduced pain, increased mobilisation, reduced the chance of blood clots, and there is even some evidence they help with bone healing.
    • We used it 3 days post op and beyond and her range of motion was significantly improved after the first time.
  • A yoga strap
    • Excellent for strapping to the brace and moving the surgical leg
• If possible, pick up post-op medications prior to surgery to prevent any unexpected delay in obtaining them. If this is not possible, verify that the prescription can be filled the day of the surgery by your selected pharmacy and that it has been filled prior to leaving after your surgery. Controlled substances cannot be transferred to another pharmacy without a new prescription sent directly from the provider. You do not want to be trying to get in contact with a physician in the hours after surgery, unable to manage pain, before the pharmacies close for the night.
• Do a thorough clean of your living area, it will make the time after surgery when you cannot independently do normal activities more bearable and a neat organised space is easier to function in when your body is not cooperating. Take special attention to removing tripping hazards and clearing a wide path from wherever you plan to spend your recovery and the bathroom.
• Plan to spend the first couple of days in one spot and on one floor and set up that area the day before surgery. If you have a downstairs bathroom a floor mattress or well setup couch can be your landing pad until you are more mobile and is the easiest during the immediate post-op period. That being said, if you don’t, it’s easier to get upstairs by sliding up on your bum immediately post-op when your pain is still well controlled than realise that you have no bathroom downstairs a few hours later when the pain has started to set in. Wherever you intend to land, plan on staying there at least a couple of days and bring all your supplies to that area. Plan to lay with your surgical leg on the outside of what you are laying on, this makes transferring easier.
• Have your recovery bed setup the day before surgery and prepared for when you return before you leave the day of, including blankets and your supply table setup.
• Meal prep, whether that means cooking or getting easy to make microwave meals is up to you. You won’t feel like cooking and neither will your caretaker the first few days. High protein, easy to eat meals are key! We had chicken and broccoli casserole, egg and sausage frittata, and lots of applesauce the first few days and it was a lifesaver not to have to think about meals.
• Spend some time mentally preparing for the long haul of recovery and make long term plans that fit within your timeline. For example, we planned to attend a rugby game five days after surgery *but* planned nothing else for that day and the next day. We also planned hiking trips the next fall, and other events appropriate for her timeline along the way that could be looked forward to and keep up morale. Remember that this is temporary and that it is okay to be recovering and resting, expect hard moments and days but keep things planned so you don’t get stuck in those down places.
• Eat your favourite meal and eat well the day before surgery. Your body needs fuel to recover and fasting the day of surgery sucks. As weird as it sounds, after multiple surgeries, the pre-surgery night meal of whatever I want is one shiny thing in a crappy situation to hold on to.
• Plan for what you want your first meal to be and consider making a playlist for the ride to and from surgery. Small things, again, help maintain a sense of control and comfort in a situation where you are largely out of control and these things can be done with friends or support people in the days leading up to reduce anxiety and pass time.
• Hit the gym, take a walk, do a hike, visit places or do things you enjoy but won’t be able to do in immediate recovery! We took my partners knee to one last tournament before her surgery, it helped pass time and kept spirits high.

Day Of And Immediate Post-Surgery Phase

• Maintain fasting starting at whatever hour you are told. Some people can drink clear liquids up to a certain point, others are completely nothing by mouth. Your instructions will guide you on this.
• Before leaving home double check that everything is set up how you need it and place a blanket, pillow, drink, and snack of choice in the car. You may or may not need it but if you do it is important to have. Make sure your ice packs are in the freezer ready to go!
• Bring your own post-op snack if you are picky or have food allergies, otherwise you’re stuck with whatever graham cracker and applesauce combo the facility gives you.
• Go with the flow, or as I always say “surrender”. Feel what you feel, have a cry in the car before you go in, listen to your playlist, bring your blanket or other comfort items into pre-op, tell your support person what’s going through your mind, tell your pre-op staff how you’re doing, ask all the questions, and most importantly just do what you have to do. For some people surgery can be overwhelming and the loss of control frightening, but fighting only makes it worse, so whatever you are just be it. I’m pre-op pacer myself, but some people just snuggle up under some warm blankets and wait. Either way, just let the waves take you where they go and know you’re along for the ride. Remember that future you with a healthy joint thanks you for what you’re doing today.
• Speak frankly with your anesthesiologist and utilise any pain control or anxiety control options given to you. There is no award for least meds taken or toughest patient of the day. If a nerve block is available, know that you can request sedation for its placement, and utilise that option if at all possible.
• Caregivers should bring something to keep them entertained and be prepared for a long period without update once surgery has started. Honour your feelings as well, it can be tough to watch someone you care about go through this! Consider having someone to act as a support person for you as well through text or phone, that way you can divert your own worries or struggles to them and away from the person having surgery while still making sure you are also taken care of.
• Make sure that pain is well controlled before leaving after surgery. You have more options there than you will at home and getting things under control once pain has become unbearable can be very difficult.
• Make sure you note when the next dose of medication is due, what medication they should be taking, and write it down.
• Double check contacts from your surgeons office and add any post op paperwork to your folder in case you need the information later.
• If your post-op meal requires picking up, or your prescription, try and do that immediately after leaving surgery even if you are not hungry yet. This is the most comfortable you will be for a while and your support person will be unable to leave for at least that day and night. I have been known to peruse the big gas station after surgery in search of snacks, my partner however simply waved to the nice people at the drive through and napped the rest of the way home before eating some hours later.
• Once you get home crash wherever you plan on spending the rest of the time. Don’t have friends or family over that first day. Just go ahead and sleep through the rest of the anaesthesia and get comfortable.
• Try and keep your home cool, and consider keeping the room dim for the first few hours if not days. Sleep is precious and pain meds can make you hot, and getting hot can lead to nausea. It is better to have the home cool and the person snuggled under blankets and comfortable than be trying to cool someone down who just had surgery and got too hot and is now dizzy, nauseous, and miserable. The least stimulation for the first little while the better, and naps will happen throughout the rest of the day and over the next few days. A cool, dim place lets this happen much easier than a bright, warm place where they might be overstimulated or awakened by noise or activity.
• If allowed, try and activate the quad muscle immediately after returning home and once every few hours by having them squeeze it and feeling for contraction while in the brace. Some people will be able to begin range of motion exercises immediately and if so, make sure to do them as soon as allowed even if that means just helping them by doing gentle manual range of motion movements in the brace.
• If it’s not already on, begin continuous icing as soon as you come out of surgery either by meticulously timing the replacement of ice packs or with the ice machine. Make sure to check the ice machine, replace ice as often as needed, and keep it on *continuously* for the next few days. For us this meant I checked it at every medication dose throughout the night and added ice during that time as well. We went through frozen mini water bottles and bags of ice like crazy the first week.
• Elevate the surgical leg as high as possible, placing support under the heel and calf but not directly under the knee to promote extension and prevent more headaches with gaining range of motion later on.
  • We found that icepacks directly under the knee helped tremendously with the discomfort associated with this.
• Anticipate that bathroom trips will not be fun or easy and take them extremely slow. As a caregiver allow the person to guide you on what they need and don’t need your help with and avoid grabbing or moving someone unexpectedly. Standing, acclimating to being upright, and then proceeding to the bathroom is the best way to do things and rushing will only result in frustration for both of you. A rolling chair or wheelchair can be helpful, but for some people standing up and sitting down is harder than just moving on to the bathroom. Pay attention as a caregiver and know that it is possible they may need your help getting off the toilet or back from the bathroom so be close by and available should that happen. For the first few days do not lock the bathroom door in case of an emergency.
• Place chairs or things to sit on around your path to the bathroom, kitchen, etc. And consider a small backpack or using a rolling chair to carry items around the house.
• Once you know when your next dose is, set alarms for each time your doses are due. If using the med boxes this makes doing meds and keeping track very easy, as they are each labelled with a time and all we had to do was open the box and take the meds instead of finding each bottle and dosing each med individually each time. As the days went on we were able to re-label and time the boxes as needed and remove meds as needed or adapt to what was needed when sleeping or up during the day.
  • For example day 1 would look like:
    • First post-op doses at 4pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 8pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, 10mg edible, 12.5mg diphenhydramine (itching and sleep), stool softener, and regular night time meds.
    • Midnight box: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 4AM: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, edible (if nauseas or restless).
    • 8AM box (preparing to get up): 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, aspirin, stool softener, normal morning meds.
    • 12pm: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, 800mg ibuprofen.
    • Repeated on time, reducing pain med dose as tolerable, and refilling boxes 1x a day.
• If possible do scheduled tylenol (paracetamol) and ibuprofen (or another NSAID), alternating them on the dosing schedule, and take them religiously even through the night. This also goes for additional pain medications, which you will also need to wake to take through the night if you are prescribed for at least the first night.
• Staying on schedule might mean waking up in the night, but it’s better to be awoken to take meds than to wake up in pain and spend several hours trying to get it under control. You may find you seldom need them if your nerve block is in place, or you may just not need very much at all during your recovery. It is easier to trial run this after the first day by stretching out the time between doses from 4 to 6 to 8 and then potentially off entirely, but everyone will have their preferences.
• Eat a small snack with every med dose and keep emergency meds (extra pain med doses, nausea meds, etc.) at bedside as well as the next set of meds due so they can be taken when it is time.
• We found that edibles were a great addition to pain and nausea control after surgery. There are medication options available and having at least one option for nausea is advisable for the first few days after surgery when anaesthesia and medication can really make you want to puke.
• Expect absolutely nothing in the first few days post-op. Some people will feel well enough to move around, others will not be able to do anything but get up to use the bathroom. Expecting nothing is better than expecting more and being disappointed or frustrated. I would highly suggest not making plans until your first follow up 7 or so days after surgery.
• Be obsessive about icing, meds, any PT you have been given, and keeping track of appointments. Give yourself the best start to your recovery that you can and you will thank yourself later!

Danna stopped recording and lowered the phone.
"Daniel Levi, we practiced this!"
"Sorry, Mom. I'm just kinda tired and..."
"Well if you would GET THIS RIGHT, you could go and have a rest!"
Shaking her head, she deleted the clip and raised the phone again, thumb tapping the screen to restart recording.
"Again," she said, watching the boys scramble to get back to their starting positions.
Daniel had been very obstinate and whiny lately, feigning pain and tiredness to try and get out of working. No matter how she explained to him that the videos were how the family made money, no matter how long she made Derick paddle him—and her oh-so-strong husband kept trying to puss out on that—the child's will would not be tamed.
Finally, after another take, they got the shots she wanted for the day's big video. All that was left now was to edit this was to edit this with the footage of herself from earlier, play with the filters and everything, and post.
Children were a test. They were, of course, sent by the Lord to refine the spirit, to challenge dreams and delay goals so as to make the parents into stronger vessels.
But Danna Orson was certain that her second son went beyond the usual testing intended by God.
Daniel had been needier at birth than the others, and had a stronger will as he grew than the others. Danna simply did not know how to break the boy. She almost wished her mother were around. Peggy Lynn Sooks knew how to bring anyone in line: children, pets, employees. Maybe, if the Lord compelled them to turn around and pass back through Iowa at some point, Danna could prevail on Derick to allow a stop-off to visit Peggy Lynn. All the boys would benefit from some of their grandma's order and discipline.
Derick would benefit from being reminded too that while the man might be the headship, the woman ruled the roost.
Making her way back to the RV, Danna plopped down in her favourite chair and started editing. Occasionally she considered turning this mundanity over to one of the older children, after some training of course, but she knew none of them would truly understand how things worked.
Men were all muscle and no mind. Women were little enough mind as it was, but men had none at all, particularly not for things that were important—things that mattered.
Derick stepped out of the RV and moved behind her chair, resting a hand on her shoulder.
"Hi, sugar," he said.
"I'm all sweaty," she responded, "so don't touch me with your cold hands."
She felt her husband pull away.
"Sorry."
Men had to be discreetly kept in line. They had to know that a wife was available to them physically, but you never could let them sense any deeper emotional bond. That led to problems later. Danna knew it well enough by now.
She had been gentler with Derick when they met, and ever-sweet, and emotionally available because, as a dumb college girl, she thought men cared about emotional investment too.
All it had earned her was a husband she had to cajole and weedle to get sex when she was ready for another baby. Even then, they did not always conceive easily, and she blamed herself on some level. She had no physical impediment, of course, but she had been tender toward what she perceived as Derick's emotional needs when they met.
Treating men as emotional creatures and responding to their feigned feelings in kind—and their feelings were feigned, as part of how the Lord helped them win a woman—was emasculating. It could even make them faggots. Danna was pretty sure, as little as he seemed to want sex, that Derick would immediately go the faggot route if she did not keep close tabs on him.
She could see hints of it in the way he walked so carefully aboard the RV, letting the kids run all around him and never pushing past to assert himself as the dominant male. It was visible in how he treated the kids too, hugging on them when they were whining because of some little cut or bruise, helping them up if they tripped or fell or anything in proximity to him.
She would just have to keep working on it.
5 Table of Contents

29M. Posted here a couple times in the last few weeks. Current symptoms for the past 4 weeks.
• Tongue feels stiff at the base. Burning sensation at the tip of my tongue sometimes. I swear I’m slurring or on the verge of slurring, but no one has said anything. I focus on it all day long. I’m tongue thrusting I think. I find myself pushing on the back of my teeth. I drink/eat/swallow just fine so that’s helpful.
• Twitching in my calves, thighs, quads and biceps at rest.
• Shoulders/biceps seem to be sore quickly when I use them.
• Tired really quickly, like sleepy tired.
• I had some jaw tightness and pain a couple weeks ago but that went away for the most part.
Not sure if this sub is helping me or hurting me. I’m aware I’m hyperfocused and have some health anxiety going on, probably making it worse by reading on here all the time.
I haven’t gone to my PCP yet, and I don’t plan to right now. I went through a similar episode of body wide twitching and tongue stuff last year about this time, but it went away in about a month. My tongue stuff is different this time. I had twitching in my tongue last year (sounded like pop rocks). This year I haven’t noticed or heard any tongue twitching.
I think this all started when I was getting stressed at work, then I found out I was going to have a heart procedure to repair a PFO that’s scheduled for June, but hard to tell.
Figure this would’ve gone away by now so I’m looking for reassurance from anyone that has had some similar symptoms and how long it lasted for you. Thanks.

So I'm an incel I mean technically, but I don't subscribe to this whole blackpill ideologue. The way I see it is you were dealt a set of cards at birth and it's your job to make the most of it. Of course, the game is easier for people who got a good draw, but you can't change that so you should focus on improving yourself and that doesn't just mean going to the gym. That's only a small part of it.
Blaming women or society for high standards is ridiculous and useless. First of all yes women right now control the dating market and they do have higher standards than men. This has been proven by numerous studies I don't dispute that. However, I belive the narrative that is pushed on this sub about women's standards is false. You don't have to be a 6'3 male model to be in a happy relationship. When you see women on social media having extremely high standards I don't think it's representative of most women. If you get off reddit and tiktok and go socialize you will find that most women and most people are nice normal people that don't care about cantalt tilt or hunter eyes or whatever else.
I do understand where you guys are coming from. I come from the same place of being utterly invisible to the fairer sex. And it sucks. But here is the thing closing yourself off in this incel echo-chamber community, might feel nice at first it might feel like you found a community that understands your struggles and supports you through them, but ultimately it is bad for you. This community will make you wholeheartedly believe that you are undesirable to all women and that there is nothing you can do to change that. This belief will indeed make you unattractive therefore reinforcing the feedback loop.
The incel community in my opinion is very cult-like in a way. They make you feel seen when nobody does, they make you feel safe to say what you think. They create enemies for you to root against (chads and stacies). I mean it's not exactly a cult because there is no leader or financial motif but it's definitely an echo chamber.
And to the inceltears and alike. You are contributing to the problem. I get that it's fun to make fun of incels and losers, and some of them deserve it, but when you alienate people for feeling different it will only push them further into their ecochambered beliefs. It's been proven that alienating people's beliefs does not make them change their minds it only pushes them further into the rabbit hole. Also like what a loser thing to do just spending your time on the internet making fun of virgins.
Anyways, I really do empathize with incels (except the violent ones fuck em). I get where you come from. I understand the pain but this isn't the way out of the pain, you're just digging yourself deeper.
I will leave you with this. The thought that has kept me from getting black pilled:"Shorter guys than me have successful relationships, uglier guys than me have successful relationships, so why not me, and why not you"
I'm probably going to get a lot of hate from people on this sub and maybe even from the other side too. But try to keep an open mind to what I suggest. I really hope while reading this you considered what I had to say and didn't blindly disagree because I go against your beliefs. It's not over for you you can still find love but you have to let go of these childish beliefs. I'm interested to hear your thoughts on this whole post, do you agree, or disagree? Did I make you change your mind about something or am I totally off the mark in your opinion?

I (33F) went back to university a few years ago to pursue a different career. In order to work in this field, in addition to your degree, you need to do a year internship and pass four board exams. I want to specialize within the field, which requires passing a further three specializing exams.
I completed my internship in January this year. It was an incredibly toxic workplace with a very high turnover. I worked 60 hour weeks. I was my managers punching bag and scapegoat and at some point a part of me just shut down in order to get through it. I had three coworkers from different departments approach me separately about how I was being treated and that I should report it to the regulatory board.
I have passed three of the four board exams. Two of them last year and one earlier this year. I failed the fourth exam and will have to retake it in August. Because I basically completed my internship and am just left with one board exam I am in an employment limbo where I can’t really work as an intern nor do I qualify to work in the profession. I have now been unemployed since February and desperately need to find a job.
I feel like I am in my own personalized version of hell. Failing the fourth board exam really put me in a very dark place. I have always done well academically and this was the first exam I’ve ever failed. My plan was to write the specializing exams in August but now I guess I’m going to have to push that to next year because I have to pass my board exam first.
I do some freelance work here and there but I absolutely despise every minute of it. I know it’s money coming in and I should be grateful but the amount I make barely covers groceries. And along with the money, everything is running out or breaking. My phone is at its end. My laptop is barely working. My clothes have holes in them. I have been applying to jobs, and will literally take anything I can get but the unemployment rate in my country is extremely high and jobs are so scarce.
On top of everything my relationship with my GF (32) is also failing. The final nail in the coffin was after my GFs mother passed away and I was told in no uncertain terms that I am not allowed to come to the funeral. My GF is not out to her family and I don’t see her acknowledging my role in her life anytime soon. I would never force anyone to come out of the closet if they are not ready but I want to have children and I just don’t see how or where I fit into her life.
But I currently stay with my GF. Since her mothers passing she has been staying with her father in her hometown for months at a time. They have been discussing having him move here (to my GFs place). This will basically mean that I will lose my home as I cannot afford to pay the rent on my own.
Once I inevitably lose my home I will have nowhere to go. My mother and my intellectually disabled brother stay with my aunt. My mother was retrenched a few years ago and has since been unable to find work. We’ve literally lost everything. I could stay at my aunts place but there is no room for me there. My aunt will also be retiring at the end of the year and I don’t want to put anymore financial strain on her.
I feel so hopelessly trapped. I just don’t know what to do.
The town I currently live in has very few job opportunities. So I would basically have to move to get a job but then none of the jobs actually pay enough for me to be able to survive. There are even fewer jobs in the town where my family lives.
I cry myself to sleep every night. The freelance work I do is online so I barely leave my apartment. I do the same thing everyday, over and over. I haven’t spoken to another human being in person for 6 days now. It’s a feeling of utter aloneness that I don’t even have the words to describe.
Even if I could leave where would I go, what would I do. I have no money, no friends, nothing. And everyday I have to face the fact that this is my reality, my hell. I worked so incredibly hard to get through that internship. I studied so incredibly hard for that exam. I put 110% in everything I do. And for what?
The only good thing I have is that I was able to lose 30 kgs. I’ve been overweight my entire life and for the first time I feel like I actually like my body. But for what? I can’t even afford new clothes, I wear the same baggy oversized clothes from before my weight loss. Because it’s all I have.
All I wanted was to build a decent life for myself. To have a job, enough money to survive, to have friends, and a family.
Before I went back to university, I was miserable, literally planning my suicide. But I made a promise to myself, that I would make a list of everything I hated about my life and at least try to fix it. And I did, I grabbed every opportunity that was available to me, I fought so very hard to get out of that hole. But now I’m halfway through that list and I’m just right back where I started, if not worse off because I actually had hope that things could get bette for me. And now that hope is gone.
Now all I see is how horrible the world is, how much pain and suffering there is. Everyone is suffering. The world has gone to shit, so what makes me so special that things will work out for me?
I so desperately want to live, to experience life but it feels like every chance I had, every opportunity was for nothing. That I was just going to end up the same way. I’m sleeping so much. I’m drinking so much. Just anything to take me away from this reality. And things could have been so different, if I could have just passed the exam I could have found a job. Something, just anything.
I’m just wasting away. And I don’t think it’s every going to get better. I saw my grandparents suffer. I saw my single mother suffer. This is just the way it’s always going to be in my life. And I’m just the idiot who thought that maybe, just maybe my life could be something different. I should have ended it when I had the courage to do so.