Something I was thinking about when I watched the final moments of the most recent EFAP was Mauler’s observation that the internet content creator landscape used to be different when AVGN clones ruled Youtube and his question of how that shifted into video essayists and commentary channels. I thought about that for a while and I thought of some reasons why the landscape changed that I would like to share.
Managers
Something that people might not be aware of is how many Youtubers have people managing their content in the form of things like setting up brand deals and other services that I am not familiar with. Some of them are very public about what they do, some of them are more private. The important thing is how managers worked in the past.
One thing that I liked about Machinima, ScrewAttack, and Channel Awesome that the creators probably didn’t like is that they forced the older creators to stick to a set schedule of uploads and some of them forced creators to follow a set formula. This meant that the manager would make sure that if a creator uploaded a video every Friday at 2pm, they would have an upload every single Friday at 2pm.
How would this work if the creator wanted to take a week off? Well, the creator would have to have a video to upload in advance. What if the creator wanted to spend 3 weeks on a super-duper big video? Well, they could absolutely do that, but it would be a passion project and they’d still have to follow the set schedule for regular uploads.
This created a content landscape that I actually enjoyed a lot as a consumer because it’s probably the way it should be for reviewers. Every week, or every day in rare cases, a movie reviewer would need to review a different movie, which meant that a reviewer might have to force themselves to sit through a movie they don’t want to see like Fifty Shades Of Grey to give it a chance to subvert their expectations and earn a glowing review, or dig deep to find a new indie movie to review to fill that quota if they really didn’t want to sit through Fifty Shades Of Grey.
The promise of Patreon and creators becoming more independent was that creators would exclusively make videos on topics they wanted to do, but I personally think that was the wrong way to go. I’ve maintained a position that I prefer it when content creators are encouraged, or even forced, to talk about things that they don’t want to talk about because oftentimes that’s when reviewers are most interesting. Some of my favorite Roger Ebert reviews were when he reviewed a children’s movie like Space Jam or Pokemon: The First Movie, and some of my favorite Zero Punctuation reviews are when he has to pick out a random indie game and commit to reviewing it regardless of what the indie game turned out to be, like when he reviewed Hell Pie.
What I think has happened is that the lack of managers has encouraged content creators to upload whatever they want, whenever they want, which has usually translated to videos about ‘easy’ topics, like videos about Disney movies, being uploaded weeks, or even months, apart, which has made the content creation landscape, at least for reviewers, a lot less interesting, and a lot less engaging.
It’s actually one of the reasons why EFAP has been losing my interest lately, because although they upload a stream every week the topics they choose are generally ‘easy’ topics because I genuinely think the hosts don’t have the ability to make an EFAP on something more obscure, or even just ‘difficult’ like Baby Reindeer, very interesting, or they just won’t do streams on those topics because, as Rags said: “This is our show, and we can do whatever the fuck we want.”
Honestly, my hot take is that I liked you better when you couldn’t do whatever the fuck you wanted all of the time. In fact, one of my favorite Rags moments on EFAP was when he clearly didn’t want to be involved with the debate with Twin Perfect.
Sponsors
I remember the Adpocalypse and how Youtubers transitioned to sponsors over relying heavily on ad-revenue. What that event transpired into is that audiences were far more accepting of basically any form of making money that Youtubers would use. Patreon became a very dominant part of Youtube, but sponsors also became extremely common and audiences would even cheer in the comment sections when creators would have their first Raid: Shadow Legends sponsorship.
Sponsors are what I want to talk about because I have seen Youtubers show that they have a bunch of videos on their computer that they simply aren’t releasing to the public because they don’t want to upload a single video without a sponsor on their main channel, as well as Youtubers having a second channel where they upload ‘slop’ content without sponsors that most of their audience is usually unaware of or isn’t interested in.
The problem is that the appeal for pretty much all content on Youtube is the personalities of the people creating the content, which is less about the actual personalities and more like “That’s an actual person doing what they actually want to do, that’s so cool,” but that is usually undercut by the presence of sponsors. The fact that Youtubers will sit on a video they made and not upload it unless they can get a sponsor to pay for it always seemed strange to me, especially for Youtubers where the image they present is “I’m just a normal, chill guy who makes Youtube videos for fun,” which needs the caveat of “Uhhhh, I’m actually really poor and if I don’t take this BetterHelp sponsor I can’t afford my rent this month. Please understand, I’m barely making any money on Youtube,” when a sponsor is included in the video.
As weird as this sounds, there are communities of creatives online that don’t expect to ever make any money putting hours, days, weeks, months, and years of work into a project. There are modding communities, bloggers, game developers, fanfiction writers, and artists that only want comments saying “You did a good job,” and Youtubers used to be that way, or they used to present themselves that way before sponsors became as common as they are now.
I don’t say this often enough, but I remember when Youtubers would make videos about not just random pictures on Deviantart, but on fanfictions and pornographic videos. They’d do those videos for things like clout, which is something that I don’t see too often on Youtube.
People might say that there are a bunch of Youtubers that talk about obscure media and Youtubers that make things without any expectation of earning money, which I say “Well, yeah, but that’s not what I’m talking about,” and then I’d point to things like AVGN’s Atari Porn video, and old videos where commentary Youtubers would branch out from their niche to say “Hey, just for fun, we’re going to check out this weird fanfiction story,” or how Yahtzee would include fun projects he created at the end of his Zero Punctuation videos, like how he’d dub over scenes in video games like Half-Life and Painkiller, or how he made a slideshow with Garry’s Mod that depicted a love story between Heavy and Medic.
What I’m saying is that a large part of what made Youtube fun was that not every video from an established creator with 100k subscribers needed to be monetized, or even created with the expectation of being successful or well-received by the community. There was a time when the expectations people had for, say, Jim Sterling was for a high-quality Jimquisition video to be produced and uploaded to the main channel once a week, and for the other days to feature a minimally-edited video where he showed himself trying out a game or reacting to a trailer on his main channel.
In the past I said that I would like it if EFAP would talk about comments and read fanfictions on-stream and I was mocked for it, but I stand by that statement because, although EFAP clearly doesn’t want to do it regularly, when they do read comments on-stream it tends to result in some of the best content because it showcases a side to them that I like. Instead of being totally normal dudes talking to each other about a movie they saw or reacting to a video, they have to use text-to-speech or read the comment using a silly voice or, well, use just a little bit of creativity when reading those comments out-loud.
What I’m kinda saying is that, yes, I think we all like professionally-produced content, and we all accept that sponsors for videos are necessary. But, like, I don’t like how for most successful Youtubers only the monetizable content, often with sponsors, is presented on the main channel, while the other content doesn’t exist, is uploaded to a secondary channel, or is locked behind some kind of paywall.
It just feels strange that these normal, chill, relatable people have gotten themselves into a position where they can earn real money, in some cases a lot of money, to stand in front of a webcam for 10 minutes talking about their favorite movies, chat with a group of friends, or even just play their favorite video game, and in quite a few cases they won’t do any of those things unless there’s a way to monetize it. Imagine how it looks to say “Well, I can’t talk about this cool fanfiction story I read on my main channel to my audience that enjoys my content about that franchise because I can’t get a sponsor for it.”
I wonder if Rags, a regular host of EFAP, appreciates the irony of him criticizing Chris Stuckmann for advocating that filmmakers “Get as much time and money as possible to make their films in the ideal circumstances and for the process to be easy,” when he’s in the position that he’s in where, on EFAP, he has as much freedom as he wants in the ideal circumstances to make money with EFAP, and it’s easy, yet he still will complain if he’s asked to step out of his comfort zone, even a little bit, on stream.
Insecurity
A while ago I had a theory about Cancel Culture which was that usually Cancel Culture is incredibly exaggerated by the audience of the people being canceled, and that most of the people being canceled are perfectly fine. The go-to example is the poor lady who made a joke about AIDS before going to Africa that got off the flight and got fired from her job due to her joke going viral. What people often don’t mention is that she got fired because it’s a terrible look for the company’s PR person to be involved with such a massive PR disaster, and that she got hired at another company a very short time later. Plus, like, she made a racist joke and people were calling her a racist, it wasn’t like she was targeted for absolutely no reason.
My theory is that people think that Cancel Culture absolutely ruins the lives of celebrities and influencers online because of their intense reactions to being canceled. An early example being Seth Macfarlane, who was mocked for his poorly-received hosting of the Oscars and who seemed incredibly bitter about it, making Cancel Culture a plot point in multiple episodes of Family Guy, talking about how bitter he was about it in interviews for years, and even apparently getting emotional support from his friends and family after the ordeal, even going as far as to ask celebrities to say “I liked what he did and I thought he was hilarious, and very handsome.”
What I’m saying is that I think that in the early days of content creation on Youtube the people making videos were more willing to appear on camera and embarrass themselves, like with Spoony screaming at a big gaming event on camera, because even though they were aware of Cancel Culture being a thing they weren’t going to be reduced to tears by someone saying “You’re totally cringe and annoying,” and even went as far as to incorporate those kinds of comments into their video because it was extremely easy content to create. You probably know what I’m talking about, where a creator would read out “This content creator is SOOOOOOO CRINGE,” in a video in a silly voice which you can’t really do as easily with “OMG, I love your content,” and make it entertaining.
That’s changed a lot today with content creators seeming to project an extreme amount of insecurity in every video they’re a part of, which gets even worse in formats like podcasts. It feels like every commentary creator is a chill dude that isn’t offended by anything and only wants to have a good time talking about things they like because, well, that’s what they need to be to avoid being criticized too severely, but they constantly allude to being a very immature and thin-skinned person that is mainly concerned about earning money, to the point where they’ll say “I’m not even having fun producing content at all.”
In college I remember one of my professors saying: “When you were high school kids you were insecure and weren’t confident in your abilities enough to volunteer when you were asked. You’re adults now, and when you graduate you can’t do that at a real job. Part of growing up is being confident in yourself, and if you don’t want to do that, you can always work in fast food where you never need to grow up, while the other adults in your friend group are becoming doctors and construction workers.”
It’s something that I realized with Youtubers which is that a decent amount of them started their careers young and never had to ‘grow up’ the way that my professor said that we needed to. Even with millions of subscribers you still see a lot of Youtubers struggle to commit to any statement they make, and I hear “I’m just a dumb Youtuber who doesn’t know anything and is stupid and socially-awkward and is fat and smells bad,” too many times from rich and successful people.
The thing is, when you’re a teenager, or you’re in your 20s, that insecurity is charming and relatable because you're trying to find a place in the world and discovering the role that you will fill in society. But, when you’re 30 and your role is “I tell people about the latest internet drama and make references to Spongebob,” or “I talk about Star Wars for hours at a time,” even if you make $2 million every day there’s likely a part of you that says: “I don’t like who I am. I don’t like what I do for a living. Yes, I’m rich, but I don’t like why I’m rich, and I don’t like my audience.”
I think that this insecurity leads to people trying to make their content more ‘mature’, but the way they do it isn’t by presenting themselves as a more confident person, or by making a clear separation between the personality in their content and their actual personality so that they can have a good work/life balance, it’s by creating the same content with very superficially mature elements. So, you end up with the video essayists of the past that gained fame by describing the events of a movie and then giving their opinion on whether they liked or disliked it doing the same thing but with quotes from smart people, like Socrates, and making conclusions like “Some people are gonna like this movie, some people are going to hate it. The important thing is that everyone involved with this movie tried really hard and had fun.”
The thing is, teenagers and 20-year-olds get value from a relatable person that comes across as an insecure loser who is too afraid to take a proper stance on anything to commit to a statement. When someone is actually mature they find more value in someone who is willing to do a good job and defend the job that they did, even if they’re like Neil Breen who thinks they did a good job but clearly did a terrible job. A 20-year-old might declare that Twin Perfect’s debate with EFAP wasn’t embarrassing because he was just being himself or something, but a 40-year-old might not tell Twin Perfect that the debate was embarrassing, but they would no longer respect him, and I imagine a lot of 40-year-olds don’t respect a lot of Youtube video essayists because of how eager they seem to be to engage in self-deprecation.
Conclusion
Despite everything that I’ve said, I do think that the content landscape on Youtube is generally ‘better’ than it was in, say, 2010. We weren’t getting a 4+ hour video by The Little Platoon about Rebel Moon, for instance, in 2010.
What I would compare modern Youtube and classic Youtube to is the 1970s movie scene vs. the 1980s movie scene, which Quentin Tarantino has labeled as “The worst period in movie history,” which the EFAP crew have pushed back on.
The thing is, in the early 80s we got Blade Runner, in the same way that nowadays we got the 4+ hour Little Platoon video, but the theatrical release of that film was famously sabotaged by the company that wanted Harrison Ford to provide voiceovers for the film that ‘ruined’ it, or at least, ruined the ending of the movie.
Throughout the 80s films were made which satisfied audiences more than films from the 70s did because Spielberg was producing hugely successful films that are still highly regarded, but there was also a bunch of shady practices going on and a bunch of notoriously poor studio decisions made in order to appeal to a wide demographic, such as the fiasco with Supergirl and Masters Of The Universe, or changing the ending of Brazil.
In the 1970s we not only got more challenging films, but there was also a thriving independent cinema scene that gave us Death Race 2000, Eraserhead, THX-1138, and Duel. There was also Jaws, Star Wars, and A Clockwork Orange, which were big-budget movies that took serious creative risks that paid off immensely which just wouldn’t happen in the 1980s, or would happen very rarely.
I think that I do prefer Youtube back in, say, 2015-2017 when it seemed like we generally got the best of both worlds, challenging content about a diverse range of subjects with production values comparable to what we have now.
To close this, I would like to include a paraphrased interaction I saw on a podcast featuring a pretty big Youtuber that I think illustrates why Youtube has changed in the way that it has.
Youtuber: Look, I don’t need to work as hard on my videos now because not every video needs to be an event. I just want to take it easy now, pump out a video whenever I feel like it, get paid by the sponsors, and then spend time with my family, is that so wrong?
Host: It kind of is. I know your audience of teenagers will be like “He just wants to spend time with his family, dude, have a heart,” but a lot of Youtubers, especially younger Youtubers look up to you for inspiration. If you’re in that position and your attitude is “I’m going to half-ass every video that I make from now on and if anyone calls my content lazy I’ll use my 8-year-old daughter as a shield against criticism,” that’s the attitude that a lot of young Youtubers are going to have. They’re going to half-ass their content and when criticized, they’re going to find their own excuse, like “I have a kid now,” or “I have to eat,” or something.
Youtuber: That’s not my fault, though. I never asked to be a role model.
Host: That’s not how that works. You don’t get to decide whether or not people look up to you, have expectations of you, and emulate your approach to content creation. You only release 2-3 videos a year, and with your status every video should be a major event, but instead every video is half-assed, as you admitted, and then you use your daughter as an excuse for why you don’t put as much effort into your content as you used to. I think you need to have someone in your life, like a friend, that actually makes you feel some shame for your content and encourages you to do better, rather than your social circle being composed of supportive people like your family and the people who pay you through Patreon.
Host 2: He did have that. He fired him two years ago, remember?
Host: Oh, yeah, you fired your friend, or made him quit, whatever the story was. Did that not make you feel bad at all?
Youtuber: Friendships end, that’s just life.
Host: That’s the attitude that I hate that comes across in your content. You can’t just brush aside everything and bumble through life, except if you’re an internet personality, apparently.
Host 2: It worked for the MCU.
Host: It’s not working for the MCU anymore, though, and it isn’t working as well for this Youtuber. It’s probably going to get worse and when he decides to do more work and make better videos, like he used to do, it’s probably going to be too late, or he’ll need to make really good videos to get the views he once did.
Youtuber: My videos are really good, though.
Host: You admitted to half-assing them.

Hey everyone, I’m fairly conflicted here even though I feel like I shouldn’t be. I (26M) am the only left-leaning person in my family. I have a college degree, work a government job, and though I’m Christian, I have several LGTBQ+ friends and affirm them, and have friends of many different religious beliefs.
During COVID, I was very frustrated with the election denial, pandemic denial, denial of the truth of our nation’s history, etc, so I was prone to getting into arguments with my family very often. One of the last conversations with my grandmother was a very heated argument and I’ve always regretted that. I have always tried to be calm and not use personal attacks, but that is all my relatives seem to do when having these conversations.
My uncle was talking about Palestine and that Israel needs to “kill them all, man, women, and child,” because “they voted in Hamas so this falls on them” and “they’ll grow up to be America-hating terrorists anyways.” A coworker of his was fired after a video surfaced showing the coworker screaming the same stuff, and he said that’s not right. I simply looked at him and my grandfather and said nothing.
Of course I believe none of that. I wanted to say how he would feel if liberals called for the death of Trump or republicans for their alleged threat to democracy, or how that attitude was different from Stalin or Hitler or Sherman. I wanted to ask how he could call himself a man of God and say such vile things. But I said nothing. I’m an Eagle Scout and I am known as the good child of all my cousins.
I don’t believe anything I could say would change his mind and all it would do is cause another argument in front of my 94 year old grandfather. My uncle has a lot of strange beliefs but I’ve never heard them be so horrible. What do you do when you’re the only one in the room who thinks killing a nation is wrong and you can’t change minds?

Olá! It's me! I'm Rickle Pick! Hello everyone!
So, I’ve been listening to some stories about Neckbeards and Kevins, as well as some Legbeards and Kevinas (Is that the correct term??). Well, most of the times I listen to those stories, I am reminded of some people I used to deal with in school. Specifically, this time, the tale of a guy, who I’ll name Roger Bacon for reasons soon to be explained. Sorry for any grammar errors, eu falo português! I also don't really know the posting rules here, so I'll just post it and see how it goes lol
This prologue is more of a compilation of stories that I think is needed before we get to the main shenanigans and awkward situations this guy put himself AND me into. If this generates any interest, I will post more specific tales of this weirdo! Long time lurker, first time poster, english is definitely not my first language and the whole shebang. I also never wrote a text this large, so go easy on me!
THE LIST:
Well, I guess it’s usual to make a list of people that appear in those stories, so I’ll make one just for you!
Me: Your basic musician-type nerdy theater kid white guy! Tall, thin with medium-light brown hair. At the time, I usually wore a leather jacket and sometimes a hat (not a fedora, a Chaplin hat. Also, where I live, hats are an acceptable attire choice lol). I kinda looked like the Once-ler from Lorax. At this time, I had just failed my second year of high school because of… honestly just lack of effort, mixed with undiagnosed ADHD and a bit of lacking in the ol’ confidence and self-respect department. At the time, I also was physically incapable of saying no and had a crippling fear of disappointing people.
Roger Bacon: 168 centimeters (or 5,5ft for the uncivilized) of pure muscle! Or at least he thought it was that way. In reality, he did have some muscles but was kinda chubby and flaccid. Not FAT fat, but athletic fat (???). He was mixed, light skinned, had shaved short curly hair, no beard (except for the inside beard) and his face was a special kind of oval, besides having a, "chiseled jaw". He always smelled like he had just gotten out of a day-long brawl with a french cologne wearing burrito. He wasn't an usual neckbeard, but he was a huge attention whore. Thought too much of himself, as we say here in Brazil: “Promised too much, delivered nothing at all.” His moto was: “Dude, I think she’s into me!”
For now, these are the characters, as the focus is to introduce you all to Roger Bacon as a person.
With the list over, let us get to the story.
FEBUARY 2018:
The year of 2018 started pretty badly for me. I had just been held back from 10th grade, had no friends and didn’t really know anyone. As most people know, high school in Brazil is quite different from America, as we start school in febuary and we share the same class with the same people all day, excluding language classes and extra-curriculum activities. This meant that, for the foreseeable future, I was alone. On the first day of school, I shyly sat on the last desk on the far right corner of the room, as I scanned my classroom to see what I was dealing with. A few groups of people sitting together, talking and greeting their friends, some loners reading or playing on their phones. The artsy girl drawing a beauriful woman on the white board. Some guy drawing a penis right beside her. Perfect balance. A normal classroom.
Another difference between our school systems is that we don’t really have clicks based on like Jocks or Nerds or Pretty Girls, it’s mostly people who connected in childhood or matched personalities, instead of connecting through roles and interests within the school. Not saying either one is better, just different. And yeah, the bullying situation is just as bad. I was bullied for my whole middle school and through first year of high school, and made a very specific group of low profile friends. So when I failed sophomore year I thought to myself “Screw it, if I’m going to be held back, that’s at least a second chance for me to grow an acceptable social life.”
All this elucidates how intimidating it could be for someone to join a new classroom full of mostly new faces. If you were unable to make a friend, you’d pretty much be on your own for the whole year unless an already formed group “adopted” you. So my mindset was to at least try and meet new people.
Well, have you ever said “I’m gonna do this thing I’ve never done before!” And got the worst possible circunstance you could get at the very first attempt? Welp, that’s just what happened. My strategy was to start small, and go talk to only one person at first, and then try to interact with a few of the groups as that was a bit intimidating (fun fact: we call “clicks “panelinhas”, spelled “pah-neh-lin-ias”, wich means “little pans”, because, you know, they’re closed groups, like a closed… pan. Idk, anyway), so I went up to this guy in front of me, and that guy was Roger Bacon.
He was almost lying on his chair, on a cool guy pose while messing around on his phone. He was also wearing a black sports tank top with a grey opened sweatshirt and the standard uniform wine-red shorts that were mandatory in our school, which made him look like a short and jelly version of Rocky balboa mixed with Kick Buttowski.
In real life, my name and his started with sequential letters, and because of this, we would sit near each other for the whole year, so I guessed he’d be the best person to interact with. I also KINDA knew him because we had basketball training after class in like 2015 and I went to the same church as him, in which I befriended his brother, Kevin, slightly, but didn’t have much contact with him because he had already graduated (I have some stories about basketball and church so tell me if yall wanna read them lol). I approached and gestured for him to take of his headphones (They were extremely loud, so I could recognize he was listening to the song In The End by Linkin Park).
Me: Hey! Aren’t you Roger? You’re Kevin’s brother, right?
RB, trying to sound stoic: “Oh, hey Rick. Yeah, it’s me… fortunately for you.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
RB explained: “Well, I’m the cool brother! Kevin was lame, and also had no friends.”
Me: “Isn’t he in a band with [insert band members]? They seem to be his friends…
RB: “They might look nice, but they’re all assholes. Don’t let them fool you! I’m the nice brother, Kevin is a dipshit.
To elucidate you: that band he said was made of assholes was the Worship band of the church we went to. It was also the worship band that I occasionally played the piano with.
I said, jokingly: “Guess I’m an asshole then! Because, ya know, I play with them more often than not”
RB: “No man, it’s just them. They’re just so infuriating! They never let me participate!”
Me: “Wow, that’s weird… I mean, I didn’t know you were a musician too! What instrument do you play?”
RB: “I play the drums, piano, guitar, bass and I also sing. But Kevin keeps me out because he wants to be the 'star brother'!”
I could tell he got a little heated, and went silent for a little while. I decided not to mention the band or his brother in his presence, 'cause ya know, that was pretty awkward lol.
I remember thinking to myself “This guy’s kinda weird”, because his brother was one of the nicest people I had ever known, and he also didn’t have the say on who played on the band, the worship leader did. I thought about confronting Roger with this, but I didn’t want to abandon my quest of finding a friend. And also, he seemed chill at first, if not a little insecure.
I was a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation, so I opted to change the subject. We talked a bit more about me having been held back, and he went on about how he was really good at math and chemistry, and how he could help me with my school stuff.
I was glad to have someone to help me, and even more, someone who apparently liked the stuff I liked. I remembered what he was listening to, so I commented on it and asked which song was his favorite, and we talked about Linkin Park for a bit. He said “In The End” was his favorite song, and then I mentioned I was a huge Linkin Park fan. He told me he was a big fan as well, but as we talked about it, it became a bit fishy. He never specifically said anything and just kinda repeated what I said. It became clear after a while that “In The End” was, in fact, virtually the only song he knew from that band.
That was the first time I noticed something strange, but only in hindsight, as at the time I just thought he really wanted to make a human connection. I remember thinking he was just excited to know someone who was open to talking to him, so I didn’t think anything of it.
Also, not everyone memorizes this stuff, and maybe he did only remember one song, for whatever reason, so I let that pass. I only felt necessary to include this information because it was, at least in some way, the first lie that Roger told me, a little sample, if you will, of what’s to come.
After we talked for a while, mostly catching up on our lives, the bell rung and our first actual class had begun, and I had the first-hand experience of this guy’s sense of humor. The teacher walked into the classroom and introduced himself as the new Geography teacher, and started a power point presentation about some of the subjects we’d be covering that year, saying “Please pay attention to this class, as you’ll need to know how our schedule will work”. Roger looked back and said “Huh, I guess this class is useless for you then, being held back and all, hahah”, which made everyone look at me and just kinda stare like I should say something, and he kept repeating the joke to anyone that showed any reaction besides just staring, adding “Amirite? Huh? Amirite?”.
I was kinda salty about this, but my people pleasing peapod brain couldn’t handle letting it show, so I just laughed and said nothing. I guessed it was a poorly thought out joke at first, but then Roger proceeded to make the same comment on every single one of the opening classes we had for both of the introductory days. There were 12 of them. He did it every time. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes he repeated it even louder, as if he didn’t think people heard it, because no-one was laughing.
“Ok”, I said to myself, “He didn’t mean to make fun of me, he’s just a little overexcited and probably is trying to make a connection and help me get acquainted to our classmates.”
Either way, I was very uncomfortable and annoyed.
Thankfully, this came to a halt when he was practically thrown out of the Literature class for interrupting the teacher mid-sentence while she talked about how important the first month of class would be for our comprehension of the whole subject. He made the joke four times. FOUR TIMES. I was beginning to think that I made a mistake, but well, the mistake was already made, at least I can try and understand him a bit, before judging.
The rest of the week went by and he didn’t get any better, but I got kinda used to it. In fact, I actually enjoyed having conversations with him at recess, when we could talk a bit more freely. And, as all things in life tend to do, it got weirder. Weirder in the sense that as we spoke more and more, I noticed a bit of a concerning pattern: every time I shared an experience I had, he’d share a cooler and more awesome almost equal experience back.
Some light examples:
I told him I went hiking for 2-3 kilometers on a trail by the beach. Then he smirked and said he went hiking for “at least 7 kilometers on a deserted beach that only his father’s company’s employees had access to and he saw a Gorilla. There are no gorillas in Brazil. Maybe in zoos, I guess, but definitely no gorillas.
I told him I was kinda sad because I had just ended a “thing” with a girl from my old grade. He “proudly” said he’s been dumped by his ex, Laura, after they dated for 11 months and made out aaaallll the time after school, and he even saw her “lady parts” once!”.
And then he went on to describe that shit for like 3 straight classes, adding more and more to the story every chance he had to speak, providing me with my daily dose of cringe in tiny bits of uncomfortable information at a time! Like a sporadic cringe snack! Sninge! Crack? Probably Crack.
ANYWAYS
There was also the time I told him the story of how I became best friends with a guy because we got into a fight in P.E.. We were arguing about some nonsense and he wanted to fight, so after he socked me on my stomach, I cheaply kicked him in the face so hard I almost sprained my ankle and then we started laughing (because I guess sometimes that’s all it takes). Phillip is my best friend for almost 10 years now.
Roger puffed up his soap dish chest went on for at least 2 classes worth of time about how he “beat up his last bully and broke both of his arms, and almost went to prison, but his dad is a lawyer and bailed him out”. Dude was 16, and I don’t think he’d need to be bailed out, but okay… He was, in fact, very badass.
Those are all approximations of actual stories he told me, because my ADHD memory is shit, but you get the gist of it.
My days were filled with endless stories filled with absolute bullshit, like a Gary Stu from a dying rpg campaign. (I have a story about a DnD game he participated in, but that’s for another time!)
Roger, not content with lying to me about anecdotal facts about his past that could be true but were almost certainly mostly bullshit (if not entirely), had a tendency to just negate reality when presented with facts in certain situations.
And example of this situation is the time we were doing a group assignment and a girl at least 3 meters in front of him dropped her pencil and he just kinda threw himself on the ground, picked it up and said “Here you go, Lana!”. She said “Thanks Roger!”, barely turning around and carried on with the assignment. Roger, then, turned to me with a sleek shit feasting smirk on his face and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me??”
I contained a ridiculing laughter just in time to realize he was dead serious.
I said “I don’t know man… Doesn’t seem like it to me, but sure I guess.”
RB then straight up asked ME to go talk to her and get HIM her number. When I asked why shouldn’t he do it, he said it was “the wingman’s job to get the number of the girl” so that he wouldn’t “look weak for asking”
I said I’d do it, cause I genuinely wanted to see if he was right about her liking him (I hadn’t really understood the dynamics of the classroom, so I actually had no idea if he was actually right, just a gut feeling that yeah, he probably wasn’t).
I went up to her and asked for her number, explaining it was Roger who was interested in her and, as I pulled out my raging 2014’s Sony XPeria, I was swiftly interrupted by her delicately saying “Sorry! I have a boyfriend.” (She said the boyfriend part out loud, and stared at Roger)
I said “Oh, ok, sorry to bother ya!” and, as I was starting to walk back, I noticed that she turned back and glared at Roger. Later that day her boyfriend texted him, telling him that “He’s got to stop asking her out, and next time, if he wants to get rejected, he should come do it himself” He called him a moron. And then they both blocked him.
Well, that was embarrassing.
Despite having been turned down (for the 6th time now, I’d come to find out), Roger still maintained that she was “totally into him”, and it wasn’t just Lana. Any time he had even the smallest interaction with any girl, he’d say that they’re “probably into him”, or that “they made out at a party, but she was drunk and probably won’t remember”, or that they “sent him nudes last year but he’s already deleted them because he’s a good person, with morals”.
This went on for a while and, after about a month, Roger begun to dial down the crazy stories about how he’s a “badass and he gets all the girls but he’s single because he’s too good for them”. Until I started seeing a girl from another church I started going to. I met Janice () at the churches youth group, and we talked the whole time afterwards about lots of stuff. This name’s given because of her insanely similar laughter and demeanor of Janice from Friends. We clicked well and I was very interested in her, but my ADHD ass forgot to get her number, and remembered it only when she had already left.
When I told Roger, he laughed and said “I had just cockblocked myself” and that I’d “probably missed my only chance of banging a girl ever”. I was bummed, but clarified I didn’t really want to have sex before marriage or at least before making an emotional connection (I had just then begun to go to church, so I didn’t really get the rules, so it was more of a personal choice I always had in mind when thinking about dating. Also I met her at church so wtf).
He said “that was dumb” and, “even though he was a virgin, he’d dance the Devil’s Tango with the first chick he had the chance to”
“What about Laura?”, I asked. His face went from a confident smirk to an almost sad expression, and he blankly replied: “She didn’t want to, but I tried anyway at times. I even got a blowie once!” I let it go because I was very tired, as Mondays are hell on earth.
A few classes later, I went up to him and reminded him of our conversation and asked:
I said “Ooookay, but what about all those girls you told me were all over you? Didn’t they want to have some bum bum times with you??”
He was taken by surprise by this, and was visibly trying so hard to think of an answer for at least 15 seconds. He mumbled “Well…”, and like just left. Like he got up in the middle of the class, and walked away. Well that was weird!
He got back and I didn’t pry, thinking he had some kind of trauma, and I tried to change the subject.
I say “tried” because instead we were suddenly interrupted by a girl asking me if I was Rick. I didn’t know her or how she had materialized beside our desks, but later I found out that that girl’s name was Mary. She had blue eyes and was smiling mischievously, and I answered “Yup, that’s me”. She then giggled and said that “Anna wanted to make out with me after class”. Me and Roger were both very much taken aback by this, and I immediately thought to myself that this could only be some type of dare or prank (which it probably was), and was about to try and respond with the first witty joke that popped up in my monkey brain when, without missing a beat, Roger said “Rick’s already seeing someone!”. Mary was visibly surprised and said “Oh, you have a girlfriend??” with a look of disbelief on her face. Ouch. I explained that I wouldn’t say I do, I just liked a girl from church and we’re going to see a movie with some friends on Saturday, and that either way it was a pass on the making out sesh! Mary said “Oh, okay!” and started to walk back to her desk. I was about to make a joke and say that Anna could probably do better than me, when Roger interjected:
RB: “I’d like a making out sesh if she’s interested!”
Mary looked back with a visible “Lol, ew no” expression and just said: “I’m sure you would, Roger!”, turned away and sat down, laughing with her friends when she got to her desk.
Roger turned to me and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me?”
This cycle repeated once in a while, so I’m not gonna tell you all of the situations that I felt like shaking him and trying to wake him up like Woody does to Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. Exhausting, right?
Another thing Roger tended to brag about was that he did Martial Arts. Specifically, Kung Fu (Wushu). I would come to find out that, in the year before, he made a big scene to tell everyone in class that he’d just started Kung-Fu classes and, when no-one payed attention, he started a habit of punching the wall beside his desk, audibly making “hmpft” noises. When anyone asked why, he’d say he was training, and that his Sensei (Not shifu, he actually said sensei) had asked him to do that to strengthen his fists so he could harness all the strength he had, so one day he could put a hole through a wall with his fists.
He would also punch the school’s fireproof doors because, if you didn’t know, they dent pretty easily, and he would show me and tell me to bask at his strength and ability. That until I said I’d give it a try. He told me not to, because “I wasn’t trained” and “it could really hurt my hand”. I punched the door. It made a dent.
Roger said it was beginners luck and that he’s just a good teacher. I told him I really didn’t even make an effort to pay attention, the metal was just bendy and soft. Roger never talked about it again, and started only punching walls. For that, he would feel superior because, yeah I ain’t doing that. There were consequences for his wall punching habits, but I’ll address that some other time.
The last thing I’ll say about him for now is how clueless Roger was, how much he thought of himself and how he treated everyone else like they should (and would) respecting for what he told them, and not for what he showed them.
(I plan on doing another part eventually, with the story of how his disconnection with reality, lies, schemes and generally narcissist behavior eventually exploded back into his face.)
As a last bit of exposition of our circumstances, there’s an important part of our school life that fueled Roger’s social life’s demise.
Pranking was a big part of my class’ culture. There were also some people in my classroom who were bullied. The thing is: the bullies actually made fun of literally everyone else, which made it very hard to figure out if you were considered a target or just a colleague. They’d mess with people’s stuff, tie backpacks to the windows and hide pencil cases, but they would also do it to their own group.
Essentially, the only way to differentiate those who they considered normal schoolmates from those who were bullied was the frequency of the pranks and their demeanor in general towards those people. They would apologize for the pranks, ask to make up for it, buy you lunch, make jokes, try to laugh with you. I swear some of those guys were politicians in the making. Luckily, was very good friends with one of the guys in that group, I’ll call him Turkey, who was also held back a few years before me, and he liked my sister, so I was mostly safe.
Roger, on the other hand, THOUGHT he was one of the pranksters. Every time someone pranked him or anyone else, he would laugh knowingly, like he was in on the joke the whole time, and try to make jokes, only to further humiliate himself. And they would capitalize on that as hard as they could.
You see, Roger liked to portray himself as the “Mysterious-Badass-Quiet-Protagonist-Take-No-Shit-From-Anyone-Mr.-Steal-Yo-Girl” guy. This combo of personality substitutes was the recipe for the downfall of his popularity, and the start of the longest lasting pranks I’ve ever seen in my life, which will come if yall want another post. That prank is also the reason I named him Roger Bacon.
Because he was so into Math and Science (and into himself too lol) he also always wanted to look like the smartest guy in the room. The problem is that, as our first semester went by, it became clear that he wasn’t as good as he hyped himself up to be. Shocker, right? This was proven to be true when we were doing a chemistry group test, and I was paired with him and Anna, and we needed to calculate some entropies or whatever. He made a point of telling us to do all of the “easy ones”, and he would take on the more complicated questions.
The thing is, he was trying really hard to look like a genius, to maybe impress Anna, so every time he made a calculation, he would roll his eyes up and kinda vibrate a little. I guess he wanted to look like a genius mathematics robot, but instead he looked like he was trying to imitate an autistic person having a small stroke. I didn’t mind the Good Doctor amateur impersonation, because at least it looked like he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, it really just looked like he knew what he was doing.
Each easy question of the test was worth 1 point, and there were 4 of them, and there were 3 hard questions worth 2 points each. We got a 4/10 on that test, and lo and behold, the only questions we got right were the ones me and Anna worked on. We were a bit pissed, not gonna lie.
Until the last time we spoke, Roger still blames Anna for his complete failure at this test for, in his words, distracting him because she was obviously into him.
But that’s just Roger, I guess!
I've got A LOT of stories about Roger and other neckbeards I've encountered, and I can't wait to tell them!
Until then, thanks for reading, and have a good one yall!

1989-1990 (Jul. 31, 1991-Dec. 31, 1990):

1. Alleyway (Launch Title)
2. Baseball (Launch Title)
3. Super Mario Land (Launch Title)
4. Tennis (Launch Title)
5. Tetris (Launch Title)
6. Castlevania: The Adventure
7. Motocross Maniacs
8. Wizards & Warriors X: The Fortress of Fear
9. Boxxle
10. Golf
11. Hyper Lode Runner
12. Solar Striker
13. Kwirk
14. Malibu Beach Volleyball
15. Revenge of the 'Gator
16. The Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle
17. Boomer's Adventure in ASMIK World
18. Fist of the North Star: 10 Big Brawls for the King of the Universe
19. Flipull
20. Heiankyo Alien
21. Nemesis
22. NFL Football
23. QBillion
24. World Bowling
25. Qix
26. Batman
27. Shanghai
28. Bases Loaded
29. Daedalian Opus
30. Dexterity
31. Gargoyle's Quest
32. Lock 'n' Chase
33. Paperboy
34. Penguin Wars
35. The Amazing Spider-Man
36. Double Dragon
37. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan
38. Catrap
39. Cosmo Tank
40. Heavyweight Championship Boxing
41. Pipe Dream
42. Skate or Die: Bad 'N Rad
43. The Final Fantasy Legend
44. Wheel of Fortune
45. Balloon Kid
46. Godzilla
47. Mercenary Force
48. Mr. Chin's Gourmet Paradise
49. Snoopy's Magic Show
50. Bubble Ghost
51. Disney's DuckTales
52. Ishido: The Way of Stones
53. Ninja Boy
54. Serpent
55. Side Pocket
56. Amazing Penguin
57. Chase H.Q.
58. Dead Heat Scramble
59. Dr. Mario
60. Ghostbusters II
61. Hal Wrestling
62. In Your Face
63. Play Action Football
64. Power Racer
65. Quarth
66. RoboCop
67. Torpedo Range

1991 (Jan. 1, 1991-Dec. 31, 1991):

1. Battle Bull
2. Burai Fighter Deluxe
3. Dragon's Lair: The Legend
4. Gremlins 2: The New Batch
5. Power Mission
6. Rolan's Curse
7. The Chessmaster (GB Version)
8. F-1 Race
9. Kung Fu Master
10. NBA All-Star Challenge
11. Operation C
12. Radar Mission
13. The Game of Harmony
14. Bubble Bobble
15. BurgerTime Deluxe
16. Cyraid
17. Jeopardy!
18. Loopz
19. Maru's Mission
20. Nobunaga's Ambition
21. Super Scrabble
22. Extra Bases
23. Fish Dude
24. Pac-Man
25. Solomon's Club
26. Tasmania Story
27. WWF Superstars
28. Castelian
29. Go! Go! Tank
30. Hatris
31. Marble Madness
32. Mickey's Dangerous Chase
33. R-Type
34. The Hunt for Red October
35. The Rescue of Princess Blobette
36. Bo Jackson: Two Games in One
37. Caesars Palace
38. Nintendo World Cup
39. Skate or Die: Tour de Thrash
40. Sneaky Snakes
41. Spud's Adventure
42. Tail 'Gator
43. The Sword of Hope
44. Battle Unit Zeoth
45. Klax
46. Mysterium
47. The Punisher: The Ultimate Payback!
48. Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge
49. Bill & Ted's Excellent Game Boy Adventure: A Bogus Journey!
50. Blades of Steel
51. Aerostar
52. Altered Space: A 3-D Alien Adventure
53. Choplifter II
54. Crystal Quest
55. Fortified Zone
56. Gauntlet II
57. InfoGenius Productivity Pak: Berlitz French Translator
58. InfoGenius Productivity Pak: Berlitz Spanish Translator
59. InfoGenius Productivity Pak: Frommer's Travel Guide
60. InfoGenius Productivity Pak: Personal Organizer and Phone Book
61. InfoGenius Productivity Pak: Spell Checker and Calculator
62. Navy SEALs
63. Spot: The Video Game
64. Tecmo Bowl
65. The Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle 2
66. Trax
67. Atomic Punk
68. Super R.C. Pro-Am
69. Bart Simpson's Escape from Camp Deadly
70. Battletoads
71. Brain Bender
72. Final Fantasy Adventure
73. Final Fantasy Legend II
74. Home Alone
75. Kid Icarus: Of Myths and Monsters
76. Metroid II: Return of Samus
77. RoboCop 2
78. Turrican
79. Who Framed Roger Rabbit
80. Bill Elliott's NASCAR Fast Tracks
81. Dick Tracy
82. Double Dragon II
83. Double Dribble: 5 on 5
84. Elevator Action
85. Faceball 2000
86. Hudson Hawk
87. Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge
88. Monopoly
89. Ninja Gaiden Shadow
90. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Back from the Sewers
91. Super Kick Off
92. Track Meet
93. Aerostar

1992 (Jan. 1, 1992-Dec. 31, 1992):

1. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
2. Beetlejuice
3. Gradius: The Interstellar Assault
4. Prince of Persia
5. Snow Brothers Jr.
6. Terminator 2: Judgment Day
7. The Addams Family
8. Adventure Island
9. Amazing Tater
10. Asteroids
11. Blaster Master Boy
12. Boggle Plus
13. Days of Thunder
14. Fastest Lap
15. Jordan vs. Bird: One on One
16. Mega Man II
17. Q*bert
18. Star Trek: 25th Anniversary
19. Tiny Toon Adventures: Babs' Big Break
20. Missile Command
21. Soccer Mania
22. The Adventures of Star Saver
23. The Flash
24. Ultra Golf
25. World Circuit Series
26. Fighting Simulator: 2-in-1 Flying Warriors
27. Hook
28. Nail 'n Scale
29. Paperboy 2
30. Square Deal: The Game of Two Dimensional Poker
31. Super Hunchback
32. Batman: Return of the Joker
33. Jack Nicklaus Golf
34. NBA All-Star Challenge 2
35. Turn and Burn: The F-14 Dogfight Simulator
36. Boxxle II
37. High Stakes Gambling
38. Pit-Fighter
39. The Blues Brothers
40. Jeep Jamboree: Off Road Adventure
41. Knight Quest
42. Prophecy: The Viking Child
43. Spanky's QuestNatsume
44. Ultima: Runes of Virtue
45. Wave Race
46. Yoshi
47. Double Dragon 3: The Arcade Game
48. Kirby's Dream Land
49. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
50. WWF Superstars 2
51. 4-in-1 Funpak
52. Dig Dug
53. Ferrari Grand Prix Challenge
54. George Foreman's KO Boxing
55. Ninja Taro
56. Roger Clemens' MVP Baseball
57. Spy vs. Spy
58. The Simpsons: Bart vs. the Juggernauts
59. Toxic Crusaders
60. Track & Field
61. WordZap
62. Barbie: Game Girl
63. Bionic Commando
64. Hit the Ice
65. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
66. Lazlos' Leap
67. Looney Tunes (GB Version)
68. Miner 2049er
69. Mouse Trap Hotel
70. Out of Gas
71. Rolan's Curse 2
72. Speedball 2
73. Swamp Thing
74. The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends
75. The Jetsons: Robot Panic
76. Tom and Jerry
77. Xenon 2
78. Bionic Battler
79. Kingdom Crusade
80. Mr. Do!
81. Star Wars
82. Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins
83. Super Off Road
84. Terminator 2: The Arcade Game
85. The Incredible Crash Dummies
86. The Ren & Stimpy Show: Space Cadet Adventures
87. Wordtris
88. Avenging Spirit
89. Battleship
90. Best of the Best: Championship Karate
91. Bonk's Adventure
92. Centipede
93. Darkman
94. Dr. Franken
95. Mega Man III
96. Megalit
97. Disney's TaleSpin
98. The Humans
99. Universal Soldier
100. Exodus: Journey to the Promised Land
101. Joshua & the Battle of Jericho
102. Spiritual Warfare

1993 (Jan. 1, 1993-Dec. 31, 1993):

1. Alien³
2. Krusty's Fun House
3. Race Drivin'
4. Spot: The Cool Adventure
5. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
6. Top Gun: Guts and Glory
7. Adventure Island II: Aliens in Paradise
8. Disney's Darkwing Duck
9. The Flintstones: King Rock Treasure Island
10. Disney's The Little Mermaid
11. Kid Dracula
12. Milon's Secret Castle
13. Sumo Fighter
14. Tumblepop
15. Great Greed
16. Lethal Weapon
17. Ninja Boy 2
18. Pyramids of RaMatchbox
19. The New Chessmaster
20. Top Rank Tennis
21. Battletoads in Ragnarok's World
22. Cool World
23. F-15 Strike Eagle
24. Joe & Mac
25. Raging Fighter
26. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
27. Star Trek: The Next Generation
28. Titus the Fox
29. Bubble Bobble Part 2
30. Felix the Cat
31. Muhammad Ali: Heavyweight Boxing
32. Speedy Gonzales
33. Spider-Man 3: Invasion of the Spider-Slayers
34. The Addams Family: Pugsley's Scavenger Hunt
35. Goal!
36. Jurassic Park
37. Nigel Mansell's World Championship Racing
38. Pinball Dreams
39. Tesserae
40. The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening (GB Version)
41. Mortal Kombat
42. Final Fantasy Legend III
43. Bram Stoker's Dracula
44. WWF King of the Ring
45. Buster Bros.
46. Gear Works
47. Last Action Hero
48. Ms. Pac-Man
49. Popeye 2
50. Sports Illustrated: Championship Football & Baseball
51. The Real Ghostbusters
52. The Ren & Stimpy Show: Veediots!
53. Tom and Jerry: Frantic Antics!
54. We're Back!
55. Alien vs. Predator: The Last of His Clan
56. Batman: The Animated Series
57. Championship Pool
58. Disney's DuckTales 2
59. Kirby's Pinball Land
60. NFL Quarterback Club
61. Panel Action Bingo
62. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Radical Rescue
63. Tiny Toon Adventures 2: Montana's Movie Madness
64. Wayne's World
65. Battletoads & Double Dragon: The Ultimate Team
66. Chuck Rock
67. Cliffhanger
68. F1 Pole Position
69. Mega Man IV
70. Metal Masters
71. Spider-Man and the X-Men in Arcade's Revenge
72. Tetris 2
73. Rampart
74. Yoshi's Cookie
75. Zen: Intergalactic Ninja
76. Zool: Ninja of the Nth Dimension

1994 (Jan. 1, 1994-Dec. 31, 1994):

1. Black Bass: Lure Fishing
2. Riddick Bowe Boxing
3. Super Chase H.Q.
4. Winter Olympic Games: Lillehammer '94
5. Alfred Chicken
6. Captain America and the Avengers
7. Dennis the Menace
8. The Simpsons: Bart & the Beanstalk
9. Total Carnage
10. WCW World Championship Wrestling: The Main Event
11. Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3
12. Ultima: Runes of Virtue II
13. Sports Illustrated for Kids: The Ultimate Triple Dare
14. Super Battletank
15. Jeopardy! Sports Edition
16. Lamborghini American Challenge
17. Mickey's Ultimate Challenge
18. Donkey Kong
19. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
20. Stop That Roach!
21. Cool Ball
22. Elite Soccer
23. Disney's The Jungle Book
24. Lemmings
25. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
26. RoboCop Versus The Terminator
27. Mega Man V
28. Mortal Kombat II
29. Taz-Mania
30. WildSnake
31. Contra: The Alien Wars
32. Cool Spot
33. Space Invaders
34. Sports Illustrated: Golf Classic
35. Tarzan: Lord of the Jungle
36. Yogi Bear's Gold Rush
37. Bonk's Revenge
38. Madden '95
39. Monster Truck Wars
40. NBA Jam
41. Race Days
42. Samurai Shodown
43. seaQuest DSV
44. Solitaire FunPak
45. Star Trek Generations: Beyond the Nexus
46. The Pagemaster
47. The Simpsons: Itchy & Scratchy in Miniature Golf Madness
48. Wario Blast: Featuring Bomberman!
49. The Blues Brothers: Jukebox Adventure
50. Jurassic Park Part 2: The Chaos Continues
51. Pac-Attack
52. Stargate
53. The Flintstones: The Movie
54. Tiny Toon Adventures: Wacky Sports
55. WWF Raw
56. King James Bible
57. The Smurfs (GB Version)

1995-1996 (Jan. 1, 1995-Dec. 31, 1996):

1. BreakThru!
2. Casino FunPak
3. Daffy Duck
4. Micro Machines
5. Desert Strike
6. FIFA International Soccer
7. Pac-In-Time
8. Pinball Fantasies
9. True Lies
10. Mario's Picross
11. NFL Quarterback Club II
12. PGA European Tour
13. Disney's The Lion King
14. Kirby's Dream Land 2
15. Donkey Kong Land
16. Judge Dredd
17. Jungle Strike
18. NBA Jam: Tournament Edition
19. NHL Hockey '95
20. Animaniacs
21. Arcade Classic: Asteroids / Missile Command
22. Primal Rage
23. Arcade Classic 2: Centipede / Milipede
24. Batman Forever
25. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie
26. World Heroes 2 Jet
27. Arcade Classic 3: Galaga / Galaxian
28. Earthworm Jim
29. Foreman For Real
30. Street Fighter II
31. Disney's Aladdin
32. Arcade Classic 4: Defender / Joust
33. Madden '96
34. NFL Quarterback Club 96
35. Shaq-Fu
36. Zoop
37. Killer Instinct
38. Mortal Kombat 3
39. PGA Tour '96
40. Super Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
41. FIFA Soccer '96
42. Frank Thomas Big Hurt Baseball
43. The Getaway: High Speed II
44. Vegas Stakes
45. Cutthroat Island
46. Prehistorik Man
47. Tetris Blast
48. College Slam
49. NBA Live 96
50. Disney's Pocahontas
51. DragonHeart
52. Kirby's Block Ball
53. Disney's Toy Story
54. Olympic Summer Games: Atlanta 1996
55. NHL '96
56. Iron Man and X-O Manowar in Heavy Metal
57. Tetris Attack
58. Donkey Kong Land 2
59. Sword of Hope II
60. Arcade Classics: Super Breakout / Battlezone
61. Disney's Pinocchio
62. Road Rash
63. Battle Arena Toshinden
64. Casper
65. FIFA Soccer '97
66. Madden '97
67. Urban Strike
68. Jeopardy! Platinum Edition
69. Jeopardy! Teen Tournament
70. Street Racer
71. NIV Bible & the 20 Lost Levels of Joshua

1997-1999 (Jan. 1, 1997-Dec. 31, 1999):

1. Taz-Mania 2
2. Mole Mania
3. The King of Fighters '95
4. Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame
5. Kirby's Star Stacker
6. Game & Watch Gallery
7. Disney's Hercules
8. Tetris Plus
9. Donkey Kong Land III
10. Dr. Franken II
11. Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball
12. Tamagotchi
13. The Fidgetts
14. Turok: Battle of the Bionosaurs
15. FIFA: Road to World Cup '98
16. Superman: The Animated Seris
17. The Lost World: Jurassic Park
18. .James Bond 007
19. Bust-A-Move 2: Arcade Edition
20. Wario Land II
21. Castlevania Legends
22. Brain Drain
23. Bomberman GB
24. Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon
25. Ring Rage
26. All-Star Baseball 99
27. Jimmy Connors Tennis
28. Mickey Mouse: Magic Wands!
29. Game Boy Camera (If counts)
30. World Cup 98
31. WWF War Zone
32. Bubsy II
33. Frogger
34. Harvest Moon GB
35. Legend of the River King
36. Maui Mallard in Cold Shadow
37. Pokémon Blue Version
38. Pokémon Red Version
39. International Superstar Soccer
40. Disney's Mulan
41. Small Soldiers
42. Super Black Bass
43. Oddworld Adventures
44. The Rugrats Movie (GB Version)
45. Beavis and Butt-Head
46. Pokémon Yellow: Special Pikachu Edition

Plus, there are 516 Original Game Boy video games in North America.

OzarkYodeleRoger Haak, Executive Director of Denver Philharmonic Orchestra here again. I've had a blast passing out tickets to folks through this subreddit, and we've really helped a lot of folks get the arts in their lives!
If you don't know the scoop by now, I like to swing by and give out free tickets to our concerts. I hate empty seats, and there are too many folks out there who 1) have a hard time affording tickets to concerts 2) don't think classical music is for them. We've got about 200 seats left in this concert, so let's spread the love of the arts and get tickets to those in need!
This Thursday is Song and Dance, which will feature Cherry Creek Dance Company. It's also a big thank you concert for our Music Director, Lawrence Golan. There will be fun activities in the lobby, a pre-concert chat, and some fun surprises for the concert itself. We're really trying to end the season with a bang!
Want to come through? Easy. I turned on the "Pay What You Can" ticket type for everyone to use. Need a comp ticket for you and your family? Just put in $0! Would you feel better paying $1 or $5 per ticket? Go right ahead! Ticket price should never be a barrier to entry for the arts, and even though we have ton of discounts and our most expensive ticket is $30, it can still be hard for folks to swing it. I truly hope this helps surprise some folks and lifts some spirits.
Thanks again, Denver! You all have made our 23-24 season impactful for so many people and communities in ways I can't begin to describe right now (I'll probably make a self-post over the summer about it because y'all deserve to pat yourselves on the back).
Here's the skinny:
Song and Dance - Thursday, May 23 - 7:30PM Concert; 6:15PM Doors.
Antonia Brico Stage at Central Presbyterian Church - 1660 Sherman St. Denver, CO 80203
Pay What You Can Ticket - Enter $0 for a comp ticket or whatever price you feel comfortable paying.
No dress code! Kids 12 and under are always free.
Big thanks to the SCFD and our sponsors - and a special shout to the mods who manage this vehicle of community building.

Previous
So, if you’re just joining us, I work at a haunted zoo now. Since I’ve gotten some rest, it feels like I’ve got my head on straight, at least, so I’d like to continue where I left off.
I sat on the floor in the office after meeting the ghost until I’d settled my rattled mind (and realized I’d forgotten to ask her name, how rude is that?). I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. Walking over and falling into the rolling chair in front of the large screen of camera views, when I brought up the camera that covered the area in which I’d spotted her, she was still there, and it seemed she hadn’t moved an inch.
Sitting there, at a loss, I continued to watch her. The ghost hung around for another five minutes or so, appearing to look at a few things off-screen, though I’m not sure what. Then she walked off into the forest and left the view of the cameras. I wasn’t sure if she vanished into the ether or if she’d gone looking into the trees to look for something.
But that wasn’t the end of the job interview, so let me jump back there. It continued into what kind of animals the zoo had, with Andrew asking me how much experience I had with dangerous animals.
I took a moment to consider the question. “So, ah…I’ve been going hunting and fishing with a neighbor since I was sixteen,” I told him. “We always have to keep an eye out for gators, bears, and hogs. Then there’s snakes, of course…snapping turtles… Since I’ve lived here my whole life and been aiming for a job with wildlife for a long time, I know a lot about the animals in Arkansas in general. But good advice for all of the above is avoid them, so I’ve had encounters, but I don’t know if you’d say I have experience with them.”
“That’s fine,” Andrew said, nodding. “That’s an answer I’m satisfied with. Now, the ghost was the appetizer, Ripley; here’s the main course. To start with, the pay isn’t twenty-five an hour. It’s fifty.”
Staring in shock for a moment, I asked, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. But that’d be weird to post online considering what applicants think we need, so I halved it.”
“That’s… Okay, why?”
“The animals are already here. You just can’t see them.”
I stared at him for a long moment, some disbelief worming its way into my expression, before saying, “Sorry, what?”
“There’s a chance you’d naturally never see them, or at least some of them,” he continued casually. “It depends on both your genetics and how long you stay on the job. I can naturally see six of them, but that’s it. Suzanne can see all of them, and more. Some are what people would label demons or ghosts. Or magic. Mostly you’d call them cryptids. The ghost was just a warm-up; I mentioned her first because it never takes more than a week to see her if you work the night shift. If you manage to handle her okay, soon you’ll be able to see the animals too. The more time you spend on the grounds, for weird reasons,” he said, wiggling his fingers in the direction of the back door, “the more you’ll be able to see.”
“So, this…this is a zoo for cryptids,” I echoed slowly. He nodded once, waiting to find out what kind of reaction I would have. I gestured vaguely around the room. “If this is a hidden camera show, will you cut me a check for showing up and participating?”
Andrew coughed out a chuckle and shook his head. “No joke. There are a ton of stories out there that have been written to death, pulverized until they’re not the Grimm stories of old and instead they’re Disney films. A lot of those stories come from what some humans have seen. There are dozens of other worlds pressed up against ours, and occasionally things come through by accident. If they’re smart, they’ll lay low and then make their way back when they can. If not, they become local folklore until someone helps them back. I’m just from London, but Suzanne is from somewhere else. She hires people like us for this zoo. Humans.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “That makes no sense. Why would she hire a muggle for a magic zoo?”
Andrew burst out laughing at that, and then waited to gather himself before he continued. “Fair point, but this is less about magic and more about animals, and you’re missing some information that will explain it. First of all, if I misjudge an employee, and they think they can make bank by outing the endangered and valuable animals we have, it’s easy to relocate the zoo.”
“Because magic?” I asked.
“Exactly,” he replied, ignoring the thread of skepticism in my tone. “That means it isn’t the end of the world if that happened, though it is a pain in the arse. But second…let me ask you a question. Speaking of reality shows, say the Discovery Channel put out a call to replace Steve Irwin when he passed. Imagine they had a line out the door,” he said with a gesture, “of people who thought they had the skill and natural talent to replace him, to take on everything he’d been doing his whole life. How many do you reckon would lose an arm, a leg, or their life, by the end of the day?”
My lips parted in surprise and I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re saying people from…wherever…they’re just as dumb as humans, but they’re worse, because they actually think they can handle these things.”
Andrew pointed the pen at me. “Things. Exactly. You called them things. Suzanne and her friends grew up with them and would call them animals. These animals have dispositions and temperaments that we’ve studied for as long as there have been scientists. Where Suzanne’s from, they know the weaknesses of these animals, and also they’re in enclosures here, even if you and I can’t see the walls because they’re invisible things called ‘wards’. If I hire someone who’s got magic on top of all that, they’ll have almost no instinctive fear.
“Everything here is nocturnal, and every one of them is a hunter. Some of these things? Humans see them and they pass out. Not that I want you passing out, but I need someone who is scared of these things, who knows to stay out of the enclosures no matter what. Not someone who thinks they can train them to do tricks, who gets close enough for them to grab a mouthful of hair and drown them. Once, we had a night shift manager injured, and once killed, because they didn’t take these animals seriously enough.”
Thinking back to the Sea World orca incident I knew he’d been referencing, I remembered wondering how someone at that level of her profession could be so careless as I watched the video on YouTube. It made sense when he explained it like that. I hesitated before mentally throwing my hands up and going all in. “So, why put this place here, then? If they’re endangered and also dangerous, why have a zoo at all instead of just a small reserve?”
He pursed his lips, looking disappointed in me. “Ripley. You know that already. You already said as much.”
Thinking back through our conversation, I said, “The rich humans who pay top dollar to see supernatural animals.”
“Not humans,” he told me. “But people, yes, and they are rich, and they’re making donations and spending their money on a ticket here because everything we have is endangered.”
“So…”
I just let my voice trail off and my mind started to drift. Andrew remained silent, letting me do so. There’s that thing people say, ‘I believe that you believe it,’ which is just a kinder way of saying, ‘Bullshit.’ Parents say it about closet monsters. Psychologists say it to people who say they’ve been abducted and probed by aliens. I wanted to say it to Andrew.
But I also wanted a job. If it meant working overnight at an empty zoo, that was fine. When it came down to it, especially when I took the tone of our conversation into account, this was a zoo specifically focused on preserving endangered ‘animals’, and it was allegedly doing important work. Also, if this turned out to be the real deal and I started seeing the animals, I would deal with it, just like I would deal with an enclosure that had a lion or tiger or gorilla. If it came with a ghost and invisible creatures, I really didn’t see what the difference was, if I couldn’t go in the enclosures either way.
On that note, I’d like you to imagine a kid who looks at a roller coaster, watching everyone screaming and grinning as they go up and down and all around and they’re like, ‘Heck, I could do that! That looks like a blast!’
Then they get on, the first drop hits, and they realize they’ve made a terrible mistake.
“All right,” I sighed. “I can’t say I’m going to turn down a job just because it’s going to be scary. Especially not one with this paycheck.”
Andrew smiled. “Awesome. There’s an adjustment process for anyone working here, similar to a dog that gets adopted, actually. I know the general guidelines of, ‘three days, three weeks, three months’ in terms of milestones, until they finally feel they’re where they’re supposed to be,” he told me, “and you can think of your time here along those lines. I really think you’re a great fit, and once you reach the milestone of working here for three months, I’ll officially consider you our new night shift guard. And I hope you’ll stay with us for many years.”
I nodded and smiled at the flattery of an employer wanting me to work a great job for them for a long time. I’d never had a dog, but those milestones were well-known among anyone who knew animals, especially dogs. The first three days, the dog is getting to know its new digs, exploring, and decompressing. At three weeks, they’ve gotten used to their environment and are starting to get comfortable with their surroundings and the routines of the humans they live with. By three months, they know the rules and follow them, they trust you, and they feel they are where they’re meant to be. I could only hope to be so lucky.
I saw the ghost two days ago and she has yet to make another appearance (for those who are curious, I asked, and her name is Leila), and I still hadn’t seen any animals. I did hear one, though, I feel compelled to note. A growling roar sounded from the lake on occasion, echoing across the vast zoo, sending a shiver down my spine. Whatever that animal was, it sounded gigantic.
Andrew said there was apparently a group that wanted to visit for a birthday and they were offering a huge donation, so he let me know they were making an exception and that this group would be walking through the park that night. That meant I’d be watching people watching animals that, as far as I could tell, weren’t there.
It was anticlimactic. Even the three people who came for the tour just looked like people, not like aliens or something eldritch from another dimension, and I stayed in the security office the whole time. Andrew was the one giving the tour. I watched them spend about five minutes at each enclosure, the hour or so that they were there passing without incident. It was clear that they were able to see all the animals, though, since they motioned excitedly at each enclosure and spoke to Andrew, who presumably answered any questions they had.
If they could see the animals, that was that. There was still that niggle in the back of my head, from my twenty-three years of life never encountering anything like ghosts or cryptids, telling me that this was ridiculous. Waiting for someone to knock on the door, a camera mounted on their shoulder, to tell me that it was a big joke and they wanted to see how long I’d play along. But from all I saw, this was a real place with real, invisible animals.
I do carry a taser and pepper spray in my capacity as a security guard. Though it isn’t for the animals, since they’re in the enclosures; they’re actually for the rare instance of a break-in. Andrew mentioned that it had happened several times it the past, someone trying to steal an animal in the hopes of selling it on the black market. They’d been successful before, but apparently my predecessor Roger was good at his job, and mostly they left in handcuffs.
I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of confrontation, but my job was to call Andrew and then confront the person, not kick their ass. That’s what the police were for, or rather, the people Andrew would call in lieu of police in certain situations.
Fifty bucks an hour. That’s the key here.
Andrew hadn’t set up direct deposit, since he was sticking with a strategy of waiting to see if I’d continue to work there once I found out myself dealing with the animals (I’ve decided I am going to just call them animals). Instead, I got an old-fashioned check after my shift every Friday. The number on the first check was delightful. I went out that evening and had a big dinner at the local diner, order my most expensive favorites on the menu and a big slice of pie for dessert.
When it came to the paychecks in general, though, I had this weird feeling of not wanting to tell my dad and brother about the fact that it was actually $50/hr. I previously mentioned that my dad, his name’s Nathan if you’re curious, works at a local grocery store. Our town has a couple food franchises, but I think its size is just short of whatever threshold Walmart uses to decide where to open. He earns $14/hr. and that’s after the tiny raises he’s gotten over the past thirteen years.
That’s not to say he’d feel bad about not making as much as me. On the contrary, he would be ecstatic for me and really proud. But, like me, he’d be suspicious. That hourly rate was the biggest hint that this was more than just a private zoo for cryptids. And as soon as that fat check cleared without problems, my dad wouldn’t be satisfied with reassurances; he’d want to come visit the zoo and look around.
I’d told him it’s a private preservation with scheduled (expensive) visits only and that it had only eleven animals, so he’d been appeased by me brushing off the idea of a visit. Also, I took a few photos of my workplace; one of the security room, one of me sitting in my chair, one photo of the many screens I watched, and a selfie where I was feigning sleep out of boredom, slouched in my chair with my mouth open in a faux snore. That let him feel like he knew where I was and what I was doing, and that I was safe.
But if I told him I was making double what he thought, my father would practically order me to quit. No job was worth my safety, he’d tell me. I was quite of the opposite opinion, however, considering how crucial any and all conservation efforts were these days. Especially with the steep extinction levels due to humans competing with other animals for space, not to mention climate change. Working in any job that helped preserve species and keep ecosystems in balance, or put them back in balance, was so important.
Then again, my father would also point out something I had realized right away: the fact was that I was working with endangered species that were not from Earth. I wasn’t helping my planet. To be honest, though…that didn’t matter to me. Especially after that talk with Andrew about why he hired a human for this job, I figured whichever dimension these animals came from had the equivalent of us, razing forests to the ground, clouding the planet with pollution, and leaving the animals with no avenue of recourse when yet more land was taken from them.
I really do hope to keep working here for a long time, though, and not just because of the money. I can’t help it; I want to know what these things were, and I want to work with them, to do the job of a zookeeper. The same way you go up to the chain-link fence to get close to a carnivore on the other side who thinks you’d make a nice afternoon snack. You just want to be closer to them, to experience that incredible, daunting feeling of being in their presence.
Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t long before I got what I wanted.
The day after we had the tour go through, I was doing my sweep when I saw the ghost again. She was sitting on a small boulder in the same area I’d seen her the first time, looking identical, blood covering the front of her slashed shirt, the wounds visible underneath. I stopped and stood there for a moment before I decided to raise my hand in a small wave.
The young woman cocked her head at me and raised a hand in the air in an imitation of my gesture, her expression showing a bit of curiosity.
She was low-key, seemingly not concerned with my presence, looking at me as a novel phenomenon in her world. I wondered what that world consisted of. Was she always here, sometimes visible and sometimes not? Or did she have another world next to ours, in the ether, where she left everything in this world behind and floated in her disembodied form? Did she still feel emotions? Was that really curiosity on her face, or was I projecting? Did she feel happiness? Fear? Did she have the option of moving on, or was she stuck here?
Many questions that I might never get the answers to. And that was assuming Andrew knew the answers, since I’d never met Suzanne Cooper and he hadn’t even mentioned that possibility. This place was clearly her baby, but I’m sure running it was a lot of work. Plus, if she was rich enough to own it, she was rich enough to have other businesses and charities to run.
When it comes to the enclosures, they’re all wrapped by a barrier of some kind, though never one that seems adequate. There was not a single place with the ugly metal weavings of a chain-link fence, and no stretches of circular razor wire. Instead, there are nice fences. Black iron, or wrought steel fencing in a similar style to the one circling the perimeter of the zoo, just shorter and with different patterns. Or a spaced picket fence, the wood stained in some tone of brown, or a split two-rail fence. As if to say, ‘This is the border of your enclosure, but we’re just letting you know out of courtesy.’
When I started to pass enclosure number seven last night, a young woman’s voice spoke, “Hello.”
I startled, unaware that I hadn’t been alone. “Oh. Hi,” I said, staring at her standing a few yards in.
She had been next to a large tree and I hadn’t seen her. This enclosure was behind a picket fence, and she walked through the large area of wild grasses and flowers that stretched across the other side of the fence. There were fewer tall grasses closer to the fence, which I guessed was because it had been tromped down by her regular pacing along it when there were visitors, or if she wanted to see the various enclosures of the zoo. Her sudden appearance was a bit weird, considering I had been expecting to see a cryptid and instead I was looking at, it seemed, an attractive Asian woman.
She wore a black kimono, the soft silk robe draped gently over her body, with beautiful patterns of cherry blossoms, more so over her left side, and red and blue birds with their wings spread. A sash wrapped around her abdomen, she wore socks and sandals on her feet, and her hair was up in those rolls that gave volume to the style.
I was no expert on any fashion, much less that of another country, so I just assumed it was all traditional Japanese clothing. Most likely, the visitors who came liked to see a certain time-honored style and that’s what she stuck with. Or maybe she played on stereotypes. That would be amusing.
“I’m Yui. It’s nice to meet you,” she spoke, arriving at the border of the fence and holding out a hand for me to shake.
I’d been standing about three yards away from her, and I’ll be honest, muscle memory tried to kick in. But I only made it two steps, my hand starting to rise, before I froze, the hand falling limply at my side. “Nice to meet you, too,” I answered, my voice quiet.
Damn. I wonder how many times that honey trap works back where she comes from.
The pleasant look on her face faded, and she lowered her hand. “You won’t shake hands with me? Isn’t that rude?”
“I mean, I kind of like my hand where it is. You know, attached to me.”
Her demure smile widened into something more amused. “I would never do something so revolting.”
Looking her up and down, as if more visual information would give me more knowledge of what she was, I asked her, “What would you do?”
“I would be less wasteful,” she said softly.
A finger of ice trailed down my spine, and I had the sudden image in my head of her grabbing my outstretched hand in an iron grip and yanking me over the fence, leaving me to sprawl on the ground. Then killing and consuming me efficiently, without a single careless step, the same way humans slaughtered pigs, using everything from the hog but the squeal. I was struck with a shiver at the idea of her consuming everything from me but my screams.
Slowly, I took one step further down the path, then another. Just as I got to a walking pace, though, I realized the woman had started walking too, in the same direction. I’d have eventually gotten to the end of her enclosure and keep going, leaving her behind, but she spoke up. “Are you leaving?”
I came to a stop, meeting her gaze again. “My job is to walk the zoo every hour. Then I’ll get back to the security room and stay there until my next walk.”
“Have you met the others yet?”
I hesitated before saying, “Just Leila.”
She blinked languidly. “That means nobody welcomed you here.”
“Andrew did.”
She didn’t reply to that. Instead, she slowly started to lean forward, and I flinched backward a few steps further as I saw insect legs start curling out from her back.
No. Not insect. Arachnid.
The eight legs ended in small ‘paws’ with tiny claws, a layer of hairs covering the leg from top to bottom, like any typical tarantula. I took two more slow steps back and my mouth went dry as the jointed legs just kept lengthening, until they were large enough to lever her off the ground.
My gaze had been on the spider legs, but my heart skipped a beat as I realized her human legs had melded together and turned into a bulging abdomen. Her skin was shifting to a carapace, eventually all the way up to her shoulders and down her arms, her fingers elongating and her nails stretching to claws. From there down, her body was that of a pale tarantula with pedipalps the size of my arms and piercing fangs in her jaws that looked like they could take my head off.
There was a moment, my vision blurring, where I was worried that I might piss myself. The part of my brain that still had its humor intact in that moment told me that I should keep an emergency set of clothes in my car, or at the very least, start wearing Depends to work.
“I show you my true form,” she said softly, her voice now raspy like an eighty-year-old after a lifelong smoking habit. “Welcome to Suzanne Cooper’s zoo. The night shift guard for many years was Roger, before he retired and the zoo moved, and I miss him dearly. What should I call you?”
I choked on my words. There was no way my throat was going to cooperate enough for me to clearly get a sentence out. Instead, I realized my legs had taken control of the situation themselves, unsatisfied with my conscious brain’s decision to stand and stare, taking steps backward. I backed up a yard, then five yards, then ten.
My mind focused on the fact that spiders don’t waste anything, and pictured my demise. I’d be wrapped in a cocoon, killed, and made nice and mushy before she had me for dinner.
The whole time, my brain was a frenzied mess, my pupils were probably the size of dimes, and I was staring at that tiny, pathetic fence between her and me. There was so much adrenaline pumping through my body that I felt like my bones were vibrating. The fence was, to my eyes, the only thing between us. The only thing keeping her from tackling and killing me. My only hope was that she’d do it quickly.
But she didn’t move. As I absorbed her innocent, polite words, the look on her face was calm, and I wondered if this was typically the way a conversation went before she devoured her prey. I wondered how many people she’d eaten. Not humans, not people from Earth, but the ones from where she came from. The fact that she doesn’t scare the shit out of those people means they’re staggeringly dumber than humans.
Finally, I rounded a corner, both relieved at having her out of my sight and worried that she would take that moment to come find me. When she’d been within eyeshot, I had at least known where she was and could run in the other direction. But I didn’t hear the sound of faint footsteps moving rapidly toward me. All was quiet, in that deep, smothering way that only an empty business in the middle of the night in small town America could be.
My hands trembling, I barely paid attention to anything but the confirmation that my surroundings were free of the colossal spider as I finally got back to the door. Grabbing the handle and letting my eyes dart around for about ten seconds and my ears prick for the slightest sound, I finally swiped my key card across the pad and went inside, shutting the door behind me and engaging the backup deadbolt.
Maybe that was why they had decided on keycards. If I was running from something and panicking, using an actual key or inserting the card like at a hotel would keep me from getting to safety considering my hands were shaking enough to mix a margarita.
Walking over to my chair, I fell into it, letting my body flush itself of terror as I looked up at the cameras. There she was, still in arachnid form, exactly where I’d left her behind that rinky-dink fence, casually looking around and slowly pacing back and forth. I stared at her as my racing heart gradually slowed, and a minute or so later she turned on her eight legs and walked back into the trees.
Whatever invisible fences the enclosures have apparently work, which is nice, because I wasn’t keen on getting killed by one of the creatures here. And that’s what brings me here, spilling out everything that’s happened so far. Because nearly passing out from terror isn’t something I wanted to deal with at work, obviously, but I keep going over what she did in my head again and again, and I feel like I reacted like a child who spotted a wolf spider on their bed. I started to worry for my overactive sense of self-preservation, at least in my capacity as an employee here.
The spider didn’t even try to hurt me, and so I was feeling a bit foolish. Even annoyed, actually, at the fact that I’d freaked out so hard and took off instead of trying to engage in at least basic conversation. I got the sense that she wasn’t at human-level intelligence, but I was never going to be able to hold any level of conversation with an alligator.
Sure, she did mention that she wouldn’t be so crass as to yank off my hand because she’d rather just have my entire corpse, but wouldn’t a wolf do the same if it was hungry? Wouldn’t any carnivore? Actually, they probably would’ve been satisfied with one of my hands. The fear here was from the fact that she turned into a giant spider. If she’d turned into Clifford, I would’ve reacted the same way, if not better than, meeting Leila.
With that, I decided I’m staying on the job. Considering how frustrated I can get with foolish people, it’s a bit hypocritical, and I’m being a bit of an idiot. But…there are definitely wards keeping them in their enclosures. Also, I signed up for creatures for another dimension, whether or not I believed in them at the time, and I will not let encountering my first one in an objectively boring way be the reason I quit.
The money is a factor, I’ll grant you. Of course it is. And I can’t spend it if I’m dead, but all signs point to surviving as long as I don’t do anything dumb. Also, yes, I’ll admit there’s a not-so-little voice in the back of my head that’s desperate to know what else is here. I never thought I’d do something like this, but finding out these things are real, I honestly do want to learn more about them.
Still, though, I decided to call Andrew at the end of my shift to ask if the pepper spray and taser I carried worked on a certain spider, as well as the other animals I’d yet to meet.
Previous

I will continue to update this post as reviews come in.
Rotten Tomatoes: Certified Fresh
Critics Consensus: A deceptively dark thriller that's also loaded with laughs, Hit Man is an outstanding showcase for leading man Glen Powell -- and one of the most purely entertaining films of Richard Linklater's career.

	Score	Number of Reviews	Average Rating
All Critics	96%	81	8.30/10
Top Critics	93%	27	8.00/10

Metacritic: 82 (21 Reviews)
Sample Reviews:
“Hit Man” is studded with delicious moments, but as amusing as the movie is it has a plot that sprawls forward in a rather ungainly fashion, and it goes on for too long. - Owen Gleiberman, Variety
Smart and steamy screwball fun. - Leslie Felperin, Hollywood Reporter
The comedy is a deliriously entertaining star vehicle for actor Glen Powell. - Ben Croll, TheWrap
“Hit Man,” Linklater’s latest film, falls into the fun-with-a-heart (and brain) category. It’s got a lot going for it. For one thing, there’s Linklater’s deft touch, particularly when juggling comedy and romance (with a little crime drama thrown in). 4/5 - Bill Goodykoontz, Arizona Republic
A smartly written, sublimely comedic, and sexy human-scale relationship story with a touch of just enough suspense and hints of criminality to prove that its title is not a complete misnomer. 4/5 - Cary Darling, Houston Chronicle
In the hands of a lesser director, Hit Man would surely have felt rather thin and disposable. But Linklater is a pro, and he manages to make the film’s fripperies feel borderline profound. 4/5 - Xan Brooks, Guardian
An intelligent comedy that contains plenty of laugh-out-loud moments and references Kant and Nietzsche, it is also a thriller that is darker than it first appears. - Jo-Ann Titmarsh, London Evening Standard
Hit Man trips along on great writing, Linklater’s witty, light-touch direction and a rich sense of place, but what makes it especially pleasurable is Powell and Arjona’s naturally steamy rapport. 4/5 - Robbie Collin, Daily Telegraph (UK)
... An effervescent comedy from Richard Linklater that simultaneously snubs its nose at the entire genre while easily nabbing the honour of most purely entertaining film to grace the Lido so far. 4/5 - Kevin Maher, Times (UK)
Another, crueller writer-director would have pivoted to scenes of bloody violence, but Linklater prefers to ponder the question of whether you can will yourself into becoming a different person. 4/5 - Nicholas Barber, BBC.com
A sorta-true story about an average guy who finds himself caught in a web of crime and deception, Hit Man is a cute and clever (sometimes overbearingly so) showcase for Powell’s magnetic charm. - Richard Lawson, Vanity Fair
The police scenes are just light enough to be funny, the screwball sequences are just dark enough to keep you on the edge of your seat, and Powell... is obviously elated to be handling such twisty material. - Shirley Li, The Atlantic
This genial comedy/noir is a genuine crowdpleaser – funny, sexy, clever and confident in building a low-key humour which hits the target over and over again. - Fionnuala Halligan, Screen International
It’s a genuinely riotous time at the cinema and concrete proof Powell is perhaps our brightest hope when it comes to keeping the notion of the movie star alive. - Hannah Strong, Little White Lies
Hit Man is hot and hilarious, a winning combination amplified by a story that gets knottier at every turn. - Nick Schager, The Daily Beast
Powell’s ability to power through some dull material on charm alone only reaffirms the credibility of his stardom, and the film’s general lack of ambition keeps things from going awry whenever a joke doesn’t land. Aim small, miss small. B- - David Ehrlich, indieWire
I’s just fun to watch good old-fashioned comedy in which love, danger, and happy endings are all part of a damn fine evening at the movies. - Alissa Wilkinson, Vox
With Richard Linklater’s Hitman, the charismatic Glen Powell has been offered a plum opportunity to shape his image into something more complicated and often poignant. 3/4 - Zach Lewis, Slant Magazine
[A] light-and-lively comedy. - Jordan Hoffman, The Messenger
Comfortably Linklater’s best movie since Boyhood, Hit Man stands alongside School of Rock for big laughs and good vibes – albeit with a darker streak that slowly kicks in. 4/5 - Philip De Semlyen, Time Out
Powell and Linklater would have done better to take Johnson’s story as a launching point and then spun off into their far more complicated version of his life without literally tethering the movie to a real person. - Alonso Duralde, The Film Verdict
Linklater has long had a gift with playful humor, and he nails the tone here without turning “Hit Man” into the slapstick it could have become. - Brian Tallerico, RogerEbert.com
A comedy/thriller that’s in equal parts charming, nerve-wracking, and ethically challenging. - Glenn Kenny, RogerEbert.com
Every interesting aspect of the true story and the imagined story are smoothed out. - Drew Gregory, Autostraddle
The smoldering, wily, wild-but-true Hit Man returns Linklater to his loquacious take on romance, with a man using his gift of gab to shrug off himself. - Charles Bramesco, Inside Hook
A witty, relaxed, and cheerfully fictionalized comedy-caper-romance; in the bargain there’s some light philosophical meditations on the impermanence of personality. 4/4 - Ty Burr, Ty Burr's Watch List
It’s as if Linklater is playing posthumous wingman for his subject, giving him the rom-com-slick Hollywood ending he never got in life. - Keith Uhlich, (All (Parentheses))
SYNOPSIS:
Oscar-nominated director Richard Linklater’s sunlit neo-noir stars Glen Powell as strait-laced professor Gary Johnson, who moonlights as a fake hit man for the New Orleans Police Department. Preternaturally gifted at inhabiting different guises and personalities to catch hapless people hoping to bump off their enemies, Gary descends into morally dubious territory when he finds himself attracted to one of those potential criminals, a beautiful young woman named Madison (Adria Arjona). As Madison falls for one of Gary’s hit man personas — the mysteriously sexy Ron — their steamy affair sets off a chain reaction of play acting, deception, and escalating stakes. Co-written by Linklater and Powell and inspired by an unbelievable true story, Hit Man is a cleverly existential comedy about identity.
CAST:

• Glen Powell as Gary Johnson
• Adria Arjona as Maddy Masters
• Austin Amelio as Jasper
• Retta as Claudette

DIRECTED BY: Richard Linklater
SCREENPLAY BY: Richard Linklater, Glen Powell
BASED ON THE TEXAS MONTHLY ARTICLE BY: Skip Hollandsworth
PRODUCED BY: Mike Blizzard, Richard Linklater, Glen Powell, Jason Bateman, Michael Costigan
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Stuart Ford, Zach Garrett, Miguel A. Palos Jr., Shivani Rawat, Julie Goldstein, Vicky Patel, Steve Barnett, Alan Powell, John Sloss, Scott Brown, Megan Creydt
DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY: Shane F. Kelly
PRODUCTION DESIGNER: Bruce Curtis
EDITED BY: Sandra Adair
COSTUME DESIGNER: Juliana Hoffpauir
MUSIC BY: Graham Reynolds
MUSIC SUPERVISORS: Randall Poster, Meghan Currier
CASTING BY: Vicky Boone
RUNTIME: 115 Minutes
RELEASE DATE: May 24, 2024 (Limited Theatrical in US; Wide Theatrical in Canada) / June 7 (Netflix)

Looking for guidance on how this simple task can be achieved. Surprisingly, Rogers has no solutions. 🤦‍♂️ #RogersFail #NeedHelp
I have two plans on my account. One of the plans is no longer available. Let's say the unavailable plan is A, and plan B is the $35 basic plan. Plan A uses the phone number I have been using for years. Plan B has a phone number I would like to start using on Plan A. (A simple number to remember.) I would like to switch the number from Plan A to Plan B and vice versa. Sounds simple enough, but not for Rogers. What the business customer service person tells me is essentially is new number new plan. 🤯 #RogersCustomerServiceFail

The title,I believe the Sherman is the best just personally, yes it has decent armor, the 75 was fine, and decent in mobility, but it was upgradeable, and low complexity which allowed it to be repaired in battle, and it was the second most survivable, it did have problems with the ammo cook-off but they fixed it, it armor wasn't that bad it effectiveness (armor), was around 90mm which isn't that bad
Some extra text: I made it late at night and was tired but all tanks usually excel in certain categories and there is probably no single tank that is the best

https://www.dralamountain.org/changes-at-dmc-a-message-from-the-governing-council/

Dear Drala Mountain Center Community,
We are writing to let you know that DMC is entering a new chapter. We are looking forward creatively to this fresh start and are getting some wonderful support from the community at large.
We have launched a fundraising campaign to reduce DMC’s long-term debt, a critical move toward creating a sustainable operating model. We are excited to let you know that this new initiative has resulted in over $360,000 in support going forward so far. If you would like to help we would love to have your support. You can join us by making a donation, large or small:
https://www.dralamountain.org/dmc-donate/your-support-empowers-transformation-at-drala-mountain-cente.
Here are some of the changes ushering in this new era:
DMC is now a freestanding Center. As you may be aware, DMC has recently become an independent entity but continues to steward the land, build community, and host programs and teachers from wisdom traditions in harmony with Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche’s vision.
Dhi Good – Director of DMC is stepping down: This past year the Director of DMC has been Dhi Good. Dhi has worked tirelessly over the past year to facilitate this transition as well as helping bring DMC back into health after the recent fires and pandemic. The Governing Council wishes to express their gratitude for all her work.
Linda Carlton to assume a new role: Going forward, Linda Carlton (the previous Director of Operations), will be stepping up to become the Chief Operating Officer. She will hold the Executive position in the coming months. During this time the Governing Council will be looking at restructuring the Director position to make it a more realistic job.
How you can help dharma flourish at DMC: We want to invite the larger community to take part in this next chapter in the life of Drala Mountain Center.
Attend a program: We invite you to attend one of our many wonderful in-person or online programs this summer: https://www.dralamountain.org/retreats/#all-retreats
Volunteer: https://www.dralamountain.org/voluntee
Join the Staff: https://www.dralamountain.org/dmc_stafflife/
With Warmest Regards in the Dharma,
Drala Mountain Center Governing Council
Clifford Neuman
Karen Wilding
Ming-Lien Linsley
Reid Miller
Joanne Martin Braun
Mack Wilding

Public announcement of Dhi Good stepping down as Director of DMC.
Also of note is the different Governing Council, compare with their website, https://www.dralamountain.org/about/the-governing-council/

• On website, but not listed in latest letter
  • Amelie Bracher
  • Connie rogers
• In latest letter, not on website
  • Joanne Martin Braun
  • Mack Wilding

In the recent chapter of One Piece, when we saw every character watching/hearing Vegapunk's message, we got a brief cameo appearance of Marguerite and some of the Kuja Pirates who were with her.
And during that same chapter, we learned that Joy Boy was surprisingly the first pirate ever, and even the tales of Nika originated in Elbaf of all places!
Now, it's no surprise that during both Vegapunk's message in the upcoming chapters as well as the next arc possibly being Elbaf, we will learn how the story of the Sun God was shared throughout the world. Which eventually led a few to worship him, like Kuma and his family did, for example.
However, there is indeed one tribe that would also be a good example of this, and that is none other than the Kuja tribe of Amazon Lily. So without further ado, let's begin this post, shall we.
For quite some time, I have had a feeling that Amazon Lily had a history with Joy Boy, the Ancient Kingdom, and even the Void Century. And to prove it one way or another, I have some multiple theories to help us out.
Theory 1: The Jolly Roger
When looking at both the Jolly Roger of Kuja Pirates & even some of Hancock's outfits, they each bear the same sun-like design as that of the symbols of the Kouzuki clan, Alabasta, Skypiea, and even the cross at Kuma's church.
The only difference is that while every society's symbol have had 8 circles surrounding 1 large one, the logo of the Kuja tribe shows a "9th" circle (or a snake to be specific).
However, Oda may use the "6th Power Ranger" trope where Amazon Lily is meant to become the Ancient Kingdom's extra set of allies. Which leads to the next part of the post.
Theory 2: Nefertari D. LILY
Ever since the Reverie flashback, when the name of Vivi's ancestor was mentioned for the 1st time, many people had a theory that Nefertari D. Lily was the founder & 1st leader of the Kuja tribe, as well as Amazon Lily itself being named after her.
But while that theory may sound good & promising, I am not so sure a single name is enough to fully connect the dots.
However, the only way it can is if either the Kuja tribe has a special Poneglyph that mentions Lily, just like how the one in FMI had Joyboy's apology to the Mermaid Princess from his era. Or during the Elbaf arc where one of the Ohara books revealed what became of Vivi's ancestor in her final years.
Theory 3: Gloriosa & the Rocks Pirates
When seeing the Rocks Pirates during Kuma's flashback, I was very surprised that Gloriosa was actually a part of that crew, which may explain why Hancock considered her a traitor.
Now it's obvious that the reason Gloriosa was a part of the Rocks Pirates was because she was possibly in love with one of crewmembers.
However, another reason she joined was because Gloriosa may have thought of Rocks as the person who would carry on Joy Boy's will to change the world for the better. Similar to how King believed that Kaidou would be Joy Boy or at least what his capitan thought who that person would be.
Unfortunately, it was only during the God Valley incident that Gloriosa soon learned that Rocks wasn't opposing the world nobles in an attempt to save the world from their oppression. But rather make himself the replacement for those tyrants! Which of course lead her to regret her decision making, and even vow to never let anyone else make the same mistakes she made!
With that, now comes the final theory of the post.
Theory 4: Hancock's future role
Now I understand that not everyone will agree with me for multiple reasons, but I do believe that it is definitely important for Hancock to learn about the God Valley incident, as well as the roles the people there played.
And just to be clear, I am sure that Hancock & her sisters will understand why Rayleigh & his crew stood in Rocks's way, even if it meant allowing the Celestial Dragons to remain in power until now. As well as understanding why Gloriosa "betrayed" her people, even though she wanted to do what could've been best for Amazon Lily.
By adding that, and even how she now wants to meet Luffy as soon as possible, then it is possible for Hancock to succeed in what Gloriosa wasn't able to as long as the Pirate Empress is with the right group of people.
Who knows, perhaps this may connect to why Oda hasn't drawn what Hancock would look like in a bad time line, even though that could mostly be speculation.
Now while I know not everyone believes in the possibility of Hancock becoming the 10th Senior Officer of Emperor Luffy's crew, I can see her join forces with the SH assuming she learns that the rest of the crew were also able to oppose the Elders like their captain.
Plus, it wasn't even too long ago that Saturn himself became aware that the SH are a crew who WORKED TOGETHER, which is something the Rocks Pirates mostly lacked.
However, even if this were to inspire Hancock to join the SH, the real question is whether or not Hancock will let go of her bias thoughts on some of Luffy's other allies like Koby or Vegapunk for the greater good of the world? Which will be mentioned in the next post when I have the time.
Anyway, this is everything I can offer, but what do you think? If you have any opinions on this topic then please tell me in the comments section below, and be on the lookout for my next post where I'll be discussing about the VS Blackbeard arc & how it will play out. Thank you.

In the recent chapter of One Piece, when we saw every character watching/hearing Vegapunk's message, we got a brief cameo appearance of Marguerite and some of the Kuja Pirates who were with her.
And during that same chapter, we learned that Joy Boy was surprisingly the first pirate ever, and even the tales of Nika originated in Elbaf of all places!
Now, it's no surprise that during both Vegapunk's message in the upcoming chapters as well as the next arc possibly being Elbaf, we will learn how the story of the Sun God was shared throughout the world. Which eventually led a few to worship him, like Kuma and his family did, for example.
However, there is indeed one tribe that would also be a good example of this, and that is none other than the Kuja tribe of Amazon Lily. So without further ado, let's begin this post, shall we.
For quite some time, I have had a feeling that Amazon Lily had a history with Joy Boy, the Ancient Kingdom, and even the Void Century. And to prove it one way or another, I have some multiple theories to help us out.
Theory 1: The Jolly Roger
When looking at both the Jolly Roger of Kuja Pirates & even some of Hancock's outfits, they each bear the same sun-like design as that of the symbols of the Kouzuki clan, Alabasta, Skypiea, and even the cross at Kuma's church.
The only difference is that while every society's symbol have had 8 circles surrounding 1 large one, the logo of the Kuja tribe shows a "9th" circle (or a snake to be specific).
However, Oda may use the "6th Power Ranger" trope where Amazon Lily is meant to become the Ancient Kingdom's extra set of allies. Which leads to the next part of the post.
Theory 2: Nefertari D. LILY
Ever since the Reverie flashback, when the name of Vivi's ancestor was mentioned for the 1st time, many people had a theory that Nefertari D. Lily was the founder & 1st leader of the Kuja tribe, as well as Amazon Lily itself being named after her.
But while that theory may sound good & promising, I am not so sure a single name is enough to fully connect the dots.
However, the only way it can is if either the Kuja tribe has a special Poneglyph that mentions Lily, just like how the one in FMI had Joyboy's apology to the Mermaid Princess from his era. Or during the Elbaf arc where one of the Ohara books revealed what became of Vivi's ancestor in her final years.
Theory 3: Gloriosa & the Rocks Pirates
When seeing the Rocks Pirates during Kuma's flashback, I was very surprised that Gloriosa was actually a part of that crew, which may explain why Hancock considered her a traitor.
Now it's obvious that the reason Gloriosa was a part of the Rocks Pirates was because she was possibly in love with one of crewmembers.
However, another reason she joined was because Gloriosa may have thought of Rocks as the person who would carry on Joy Boy's will to change the world for the better. Similar to how King believed that Kaidou would be Joy Boy or at least what his capitan thought who that person would be.
Unfortunately, it was only during the God Valley incident that Gloriosa soon learned that Rocks wasn't opposing the world nobles in an attempt to save the world from their oppression. But rather make himself the replacement for those tyrants! Which of course lead her to regret her decision making, and even vow to never let anyone else make the same mistakes she made!
With that, now comes the final theory of the post.
Theory 4: Hancock's future role
Now I understand that not everyone will agree with me for multiple reasons, but I do believe that it is definitely important for Hancock to learn about the God Valley incident, as well as the roles the people there played.
And just to be clear, I am sure that Hancock & her sisters will understand why Rayleigh & his crew stood in Rocks's way, even if it meant allowing the Celestial Dragons to remain in power until now. As well as understanding why Gloriosa "betrayed" her people, even though she wanted to do what could've been best for Amazon Lily.
By adding that, and even how she now wants to meet Luffy as soon as possible, then it is possible for Hancock to succeed in what Gloriosa wasn't able to as long as the Pirate Empress is with the right group of people.
Who knows, perhaps this may connect to why Oda hasn't drawn what Hancock would look like in a bad time line, even though that could mostly be speculation.
Now while I know not everyone believes in the possibility of Hancock becoming the 10th Senior Officer of Emperor Luffy's crew, I can see her join forces with the SH assuming she learns that the rest of the crew were also able to oppose the Elders like their captain.
Plus, it wasn't even too long ago that Saturn himself became aware that the SH are a crew who WORKED TOGETHER, which is something the Rocks Pirates mostly lacked.
However, even if this were to inspire Hancock to join the SH, the real question is whether or not Hancock will let go of her bias thoughts on some of Luffy's other allies like Koby or Vegapunk for the greater good of the world? Which will be mentioned in the next post when I have the time.
Anyway, this is everything I can offer, but what do you think? If you have any opinions on this topic then please tell me in the comments section below, and be on the lookout for my next post where I'll be discussing about the VS Blackbeard arc & how it will play out. Thank you.

The following is a list of every person who needs only an Oscar to complete an "EGOT." Which do you all think will complete theirs?

1. Dick Van Dyke
2. Cynthia Erivo
3. Anne Garefino
4. Hugh Jackman
5. John Kander
6. Alex Lacamoire
7. Cyndi Lauper
8. Katrina Lenk
9. Audra McDonald
10. Bette Midler
11. Lin-Manuel Miranda
12. Cynthia Nixon
13. Trey Parker
14. Ben Platt
15. Billy Porter
16. Ari’el Stachel
17. Marc Shaiman
18. Bill Sherman
19. Andre de Shields
20. Matt Stone
21. Charles Strouse
22. Lily Tomlin
23. David Yazbek

Born and bred a Catholic so , yes. I do believe in God. But it is so difficult to believe in Him when I am physically, emotionally and mentally suffering. Why suffer? To learn? Is there a way to learn without suffering?
Sometimes during a medical test (mri, ct scan) you just feel the body let go. Then they said “let God.” I am not so sure about that. All I know is I just released energy that I have been holding onto and stressing about.
What matters to me is that somehow I met Roger at the right place, right time, and right mix of “Big Bang Theory” that made it possible for us to be together. And if God made that happen, then, if anything else, this made all the wrong thing in my life worth it because I have Roger in my life.
End of the day, LOVE is the core of everything for me. Having Roger completes me. He is my person, the one who can make me whole. He is my happy. The way his eyes light up when he has a joke. The way he formulates the joke so it is funny and smart. He is my heart. My world. My clever husband. He is my home. Having him touch my hand or my foot connects us steadfastly that I just fall asleep because he is my comfort.
Never thought I would love someone as much I do love him but here we are. I am so in love with him that no one before or will be in the future can compare. I love Roger so much.

I just want to say how frustrating is looking for a studio or apartment. Being hunting for almost 1 month in all of the apps. Also, 8 out of 10 are scammers.
But, if anyone knows a place near to blue line (north area) or Rogers park, I’m your girl, I’m 28, new in the country so I’m building my credit score, I don’t smoke, I don’t have pets, I’m a clean person, I work. I can go until $900 with utilities included. I’m okay with roommates or a small studio. I just want a place in the north area and with in laundry unit.

I started thinking today, after seeing a post about Light tanks, if a built in differentiation between them and Heavy tanks would be worth considering, like we have for Attackers and Fighters in the plane slots.
It's no secret that staring down two King Tigers every game in high tier Germany can be frustrating, but what if it was impossible to even spawn two side-by-side in the first place?
Some designations are more obvious, like the Puma or Crusader would be Light, and the Panzer 3N and Grant would probably be Heavy. This might actually promote more varied tank spawns overall.
The obvious problem is high tier tanks are almost invariably Heavy tanks, but I could see a world in which you could assign what would be classed as a low or mid tier Heavy tank, like the Sherman II, to the Light slot if the game reads your roster is high tier, since the Sherman II is clearly not Heavy by the standards of high tier.
The change could expand to include Tank Destroyers in the "Light" slot, due to their shortcomings, to promote their use.
Another problem I could see is that this change is inherently anti-FTP, since right now having a tank in your lineup is more reliable than a plane, because your slightly less likely to get locked out since a single person can't take the tank slot you have chosen.

Hey y’all (sorry for writing this on Victoria Day).
I was part of this one TRSS student group last year as a director (along with being an executive on 2 other student groups last year, with extensive campus involvement and co-op work experience, and i interview really well). So me and a few friends who were also affiliated with the group and also have lots of student group experience, re-applied to join the executive team this year. We contributed a lot to the student group last year and our interviews seemed to have went really well - or so we thought, since they just sent us their fancy pants rejection email! and on VICTORIA DAY of all days lmaooo. Im not salty they didn’t choose me since I just got a position helping out a student group at a diff uni, but I’m upset that some ppl I know and two of my friends, who possess far more experience than the students that were hired, are unfortunately victims of this student group’s unfair hiring practices.
Luckily myself and everyone else on last year’s team still had access to their google drive (UPDATE: they just removed me from the shared drive). so I looked to see who they chose for their exec team (and for 1 director position that works on the admin team) and searched them up on LinkedIn and IG, and lo and behold, the vast majority of those people are personal friends of the president and EVP (I think one of them might even be a family member of the EVP)!! And fun fact, many of them have never even been part of a student group before, have mostly high school work experience if anything, and are only in second/third year. Mind you, I’m not saying they’re all unqualified since one or two of them were suitable choices and had decent experience (aside from being the presidents friends), but others I know for a fact have less experience and are far less qualified, than some of the other candidates I know personally that applied for these same roles and got rejected.
Anywho, so my friends and I want to alert TRSS (Ted rogers student society) about what this student group is doing, and have their hiring methods and process audited by the TRSS to see if they are hiring properly and have any “proof” as to why their friends are the suitable candidates, otherwise have the student group face consequences.
Do any of y’all know how to go about doing this or have any suggestions?

As the title says. They’re all sold out at Rogers. Anyone know where a person might be able to find one?
Sorry for the low quality post mods. I’m desperate here.

I believe that my cell number has been spoofed. I've been receiving 40+ calls per day since Friday with people who claim that I've called them and they are calling me back. I've only answered two of these calls and all the callers say that they've missed a call from my number. That's it. I've had two vmails saying that the person has missed my call. I've also had two whatsapp messages the same.
I've called Rogers twice and they're quite useless in the matter as they supposedly have no means of mass blocking numbers. They can only do individual numbers, but I don't feel like gathering 100 numbers and hoping that they go through the list.
I did put on block scam and spam (Android) AND block calls from unknown numbers but the calls come through. Interestingly enough, one call came through saying PRIVATE but I could still see the phone number. Almost all of the calls are from the same area code + first two digits.
I really am trying to avoid changing my number since I've had it for a LONG time, but I acknowledge that this may be the only solution.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to fix this?