Long post but please help!
I was very close with my in-laws for 8 years, until I got accepted into grad school and got engaged to her son in 2021. My fiancé and I had to move 4 hours away from home, and he’s financially supporting us while Im in my doctoral program. I’m paying for school and things for the apartment but he’s paying for everything else. He’s known about me going to grad school for our entire relationship and been aware of costs that would come with us living together before I graduate. He makes enough to support us both and says he’s happy to help support me so we can finally be together and so I won’t have to take out loans just to live.
When the moving process begun, shit hit the fan. In his family group text, we mentioned we’re planning a trip to Mexico next spring so we can decide if that’s where we want to married. My MIL stated it’s ridiculous to spend extra $ by going twice, and just use the internet to decide. She proceeded to remind me that trips are not cheap & called me a BrideZilla (you guessed it, with a “Just kidding” at the end of it). I ignored the statement and reminded her that my fiancé, me, and my parents aren’t dropping 30k on event where we’ve never seen. This $ was arbitrary, as we’re not sure how much it will actually be. She and my fiancé began a separate text between each other, where my fiancé called her out for calling me a BrideZilla. She then said I am actually exhibiting BrideZilla behavior, have no clue how much things cost, Im entitled and always wanting to go on vaca’s, and force him to spend $ that he earns on me. This was the only time I’ve ever talked about wedding to his family, I’ve waited tables for past 8 years through undergrad, and 2/3 of our vaca’s that year were paid for by other family members. His mom proceeded to tell her sisters (a separate family group chat that I was not in) about the destination wedding decision and stated “oh wait, it’s his money not hers lol”. He called her out on how rude she was and left the group chat.
I was shocked at the texts she sent to him, as it was if she never really go to know who I am as a person or noticed how hard I’ve worked through school. She asked me if I was upset about the group chat BrideZilla comment, and I told her I was actually upset about the separate convo between my fiancé and her. She then proceeded to talk shit about my fiancé, her own son, saying that he started drama by showing me the texts and saying that those were supposed to be private. She said sorry my feelings were hurt but she’s financially concerned because I’m not earning any money while in school and I’ve never had a “big girl job”.
We eventually got over her untrue comments and we moved. Fast forward one year later, and we decided it was just too much to come down for Father's Day. I wasn't feeling well and my fiancé said he didn't want to waste his weekend driving roundtrip for 12 hours. My fiancé calls his mother and tells her that its just too much and although he committed to going, he decided he was going to stay here and take care of me. MIL blew up and hung up on him (keep in mind we've been here for almost 2 years now and not once has anyone in the immediate family attempted to come see us). About a week later, his MIL commented on my Facebook posts with nasty comments thinking my posts were directed towards her (they were just general quotes, I didn't even realize she had an issue with me at the time). I delete her comment and my fiancé texts her to keep her problems off social media. She eventually blows up my fiancé's phone for hours talking about how we are selfish, about how I have no life experience that "it's laughable", nobody in the family likes me, apparently “everyone in this family thinks the same of me” and that “at this point nobody is going to your f*cking wedding”. That night, she deleted both me and him off of Facebook, but the next day she told my fiancé that I went on his fb and deleted her (why would I do this after 8 years? lol)
I was so hurt after all the memories we made together over the past 8 years, that I deleted all of the pics we had together on my social media. I finally knew what she truly thought of me. Was it immature to delete all the pics? Probably. But I also knew I could never have the same relationship with them again after all the things they said about me. Note: deleting the pics were not to intentionally hurt her, but more of something I felt like I needed to do for me to be emotionally “done”. It felt like all the previous times together were just fake. Over text, FMIL and I got into it. She stated to my fiancé “I want all the money you owe me NOW” (she gets like this when she doesn’t get her way to manipulate others- constantly using things she has paid for in the past to make us feel bad) and I straight up told her “there you go again using money against your own son”. Well that set her off and she threatened to talk with my parents and let them know they won’t be at the wedding due to my “nasty words” towards her. Not once have I ever cussed at her or attacked her character (like she has to me). Once she did this over FB messenger, My parents ignored her and said they weren’t getting involved. We went no contact for about 4 months until she realized we weren't backing down. During that time, she had the audacity to cut off my fiancé’s phone service in the middle of a work day (he paid his own but stayed on family plan to save them money).
She eventually apologized to me over text, telling me how she was just upset that she didn't feel important to us and took it out on me. She claims she recently gone through menopause during all of this. But, she still insists on telling my fiancé that I am not as innocent as I seem and keeps bringing up the deleting on FB because she wont admit she did it (she was probably drinking). I told her that I forgive her but it would take a long time for me feel comfortable and move on.
A few months later, they came down to visit us. We took them downtown and showed them where I went to school, our favorite restaurant, and then our apartment. FMIL threw a fit about us being out too long and started crying, saying that “this was my opportunity to relax from work and I wanted to go to the beach… I didn’t even want to go to lunch but I did for yall!” Just drama and drinking the entire time. No fun for my fiancé or me. Of course his step dad tells my fiancé “just go apologize to her, so we can all move on”. Fiancé stood his ground and said no, I did nothing wrong. I was civil the entire time and was actually the only one to console her upstairs when her and my fiance got into it about no time at the beach.
A couple of weeks later, I posted some recent pics of the past few months as a life update on FB. I didn’t post any photos of the trip except for one of us doing a cheers with our drinks (no faces involved). Keep in mind she had been posting pics of all of us all weekend, so some pics I was tagged in were already on my page. Of course FMIL got pissed and texted a bunch of screenshots of my fb page saying that I’m “holding a grudge” and “obviously have no intention of moving forward”. I told my fiance to tell her that I simply made a post and did not have a lot of time to go searching for the pics way up in the family group chat, so that it wouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. The truth is, I didn’t feel comfortable posting photos of her on my page after the things she has said about me. I thought she would understand this considering I told her it would take time to heal (just didn’t want to start drama especially when dealing with school at the time). FMIL did not buy the excuse and we ended up saying “it shouldn’t matter if I don’t post a picture of yall, it’s not a huge deal”. Why would I post pics of a trip that was mainly drama? Fiancé understands where I was coming from and respected that. FMIL texted fiancé saying “I’ll go ahead and take back the $ I offered to pay for your rehearsal dinner”. She then got to digging and eventually realized I had removed all of our pics (what I did months before this). Fiancé’s step dad got involved and to look at my FB page. She told him that I deleted all of the pics of them on my FB and was holding a grudge. He saw that and texted my fiancé saying he’s convinced I’m the problem and that “although your mom has said some things that she has apologized for, I’m convinced your fiance is the problem here and doesn’t want to forgive”. (If I didn’t forgive, I wouldn’t have spent time with them when they came to visit us…)
He then stated that “if we are not going to be in any photos or posted in any pics, you can go ahead and uninvite us from the wedding and we’ll relay to our side of the family that we don’t plan to attend”. Fiancé gave them exactly what they asked for and said “at this point I don’t want you there so you got it”. Fiancé has been no contact since last July. Did not come to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and did not wish his parents happy birthday. I have not received a happy birthday from the entire side of the family. They are also avoiding us on social media. Fiancé recently received a text from his grandma saying “you are evil for treating your own mother this way and none of us will be at your wedding if your own mother is not invited”. Basically, he found out that she had told everyone that we uninvited them all on our own. She’s saying that we “misunderstood them” when we clearly have the text with their request, and that they “of course want to be there for his special day”. Now our guest list is cut in half and he will have no family at the wedding~ not even his 22 y/o brother.
We are at a loss. It’s 6 months until wedding and nothing has happened besides her sending flying monkeys and my fiancé having to block even more of his family. She even texted his birth dad (they never speak) recently saying “I just want to share my side of the story”. He didn’t reply.
I understand I may have done some things out of pettiness (none as bad as the things she has said to us) but we believe them using OUR event against us/threatening to not be at the wedding because they may not be posted on my FB is terrible and extremely hurtful.

I’ll apologize in advance because this is so long but I don’t know what else to do.
My mother (60F) and I (25F) have been bickering about small things surrounding my wedding since I got engaged in March. It started with chairs and escalated to the guest list.
My parents have these two friends, we’ll call them Alex and Demi, who I am not particularly fond of. These friends also have two adult children who I am also not that fond of.
Demi is an extremely nosey woman and has been texting my mom non stop since I got engaged wanting to know ALL details. She also keeps saying she’s “so excited for OUR kids” (her son also just got engaged) and went as far as to ask my mom if her son’s wedding date was okay with my family.
It should be noted my parents don’t speak very kindly of these people to begin with. So much so that my fiancé is confused of why this is such a big fuss. They also travel with this couple and see them weekly.
When I finally told my mom I didn’t want this couple or their kids at my wedding she lost it. My parents told me they would lose friends and that I couldn’t just not invite them. I dug my heels in on my decision because I feel like this is another thing I’m not being heard on.
Fast forward this weekend and I dug in yet again and drew a line in the sand that I didn’t want them coming. I told my mom I didn’t understand how they would lose friends when I don’t have relationships with these people aside from when my parents invited them over growing up. Not to mention I just don’t see adults ending “friendship” over a non invite.
My mom yelled at me first and then would barely speak to me until today when she told me she was “ready to talk” because I had asked her what was wrong over the weekend and she “couldn’t put it into words before”.
We were on the phone for an hour, she started by reading her “notes” that she had made that ripped me and my character to pieces. She called me ungrateful, disrespectful, and not compassionate for “picking and choosing” who gets to come to my wedding.
She also said I was being self centered by referring to my wedding as my wedding. To top it all off she told me I was extremely close to losing my relationship with her and my dad and that I should stop and think about how my decisions affect other people.
I was so hurt by this because we’ve only been disputing two things and I’ve been trying to be kind about everything else- design, seating, flowers, etc.
I asked for examples about the labels she gave me and tried to understand what she meant by them. She couldn’t give any and kept going back to the original issue of me not wanting this family at my wedding.
She also said while I was “good at setting boundaries” she felt I would never have any meaningful personal relationships because I lack compassion, the ability to be kind, and the ability to forgive.
She then threw in my face that one of my bridesmaids and I haven’t always gotten along and “if she can come then other people who want to support you should be allowed to as-well”.
I told her I was over it and that she can invite whomever she pleases but I pointed out that while I gave her a quote of 25 people as well as my fiancés mother, my mom did not adhere to it. She argued that my fiancés parents went over their quota as well and I had to correct her that they didn’t until we told them to because my parents had a list of almost 40 people.
She cried on and off the whole call. She did apologize but it always felt back handed (“I’m sorry you feel that way but you always say I’m a bad mom so I can’t help feeling this way”) I was very calm most of the call until the last 15 minutes where I couldn’t stop crying because I still can’t understand the ungrateful, no compassion, and disrespectful comments.
At this point she went back on her words and said it was “an isolated incident” because now it’s been resolved. She called it a thing of the past. She also demanded I apologize to her because she had already done so.
I had to correct her and say that I have been constantly asking for examples and a solution and apologizing. She agreed with that but ultimately would not allow me to recognize my own frustration without adding in that she “feels the same”.
At this point I couldn’t take it anymore. I told her I was done and asked if we could cancel the wedding. Unfortunately we’ve already signed a contract so we can’t. I love my fiancé but I cannot take this any more, I’m also not sure if I can move on past the things my mother said. Her and my father as well as my fiancés parents are paying for the wedding so I don’t think no contact is the option.
I need advice, anything is helpful. I’m in therapy and I do know my mother is a narcissist from my work with my therapist (my childhood is also another sore subject my mom hates talking about unless it’s all sunshine and rainbows). Honestly, I want to crawl in bed and never get out but I know that’s not an option. What do I do?

I have a 2023 Honda Rebel 1100 and the wife has a Navi. We are in our 40's, own a home, have savings, 401k etc.
I called our insurance agent and he quoted us the same coverage we have on our cars, 300/500/300. We have that much on the cars to protect us from lawsuits, etc in case we get in an at fault accident.
I don't think we need that much coverage on motorcycles. My reasoning, and please tell me if this is flawed, is that both bikes together are probably worth $11-$12k. If we get into a wreck on our motorcycles, chances are the only people we're going to really hurt are ourselves. There may be property damage to a 3rd party, but $300k worth? I feel like we'd be overinsured at 300/500/300. I told him I think 30/60/30 is more than adequate for motorcycle insurance. Am I wrong? It's quite a bit cheaper.

Paid, will provide pattern, and yarn*. Ideally, I’d like to gift this to a friend for her wedding in mid-September.
Please let me know if you’re interested, along with your quote and estimated timeline.

Tldr; Been struggling lately because it feels like no matter where I go. I'm stuck in an environment that's hostile one way or another. And I'm stuck having to be around immature grown ass adults. And I'm very tired of it. It's tanked the hell outta my morale. To the point where I'm considering on enlisting because I don't feel like I can fit anywhere else in regular society. I'd appreciate any insights if you want to share.
I honestly feel like 2020 was the start of my downward sprial. I had always been depressed. But I feel like the Pandemic really made it worse. As ridiculous as it may sound. I was upset that my prom and senior trip was canceled. As I was looking forwards to it. Because I saw it as a day I could truly feel pretty. And the last time I could spend with friends before adulthood sucked the little life left in us. Didn't help me to see the next classes get to have their prom and trip either. But it's in the past, and I'm glad they had the privilege to have theirs. But a huge issue, back then. Was I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do with myself after Highschool.
My guidance counselor was more excited for my senior year than I was. And my dad didn't help with all the pressure he put on me. We got into more arguments when I was eighteen. As mentioned before, I was clueless on what I wanted in life. And had told my dad I was taking a gap year. Gap year turned into two years. Due to me having fallen into a deep depression due to the quarantine. Which didn't help things between my parents and I. They told me I had to get a job. Fine, started working part-time at dollar tree. And over time that wasn't enough. I started getting badgered about school again.
I have no issue with further education. Be it college or a trade. But the world is far more expensive than it was in the 80s - 90s. And it felt like my parents didn't grasp that. Everytime I brought it up I was treated like I was making excuses. I also didn't want go to school because I didn't want to be stuck with courses to something I fucking hated. I was the one that would have to pay for it in the end. I wanted it to be something I could at least tolerate until I found something better. Ended up doing it anyway to shut them up. And I started working another job to save money. Though I wasn't doing much of that.
Because I'd spend money to get a shred of serotonin. Mostly fast food. Not proud of it, but that was my reality. Eventually, I couldn't put up with the classes and two jobs. And attitude I was getting from my parents. And became very apathetic about life. This was maybe around 2021 - 2022. I truly felt alone at this point. And because I grew isolated from family aside my maternal grandma. I felt I had nobody to really open up to. Couldn't talk to my older brother because he's awful at communicating back with me. As he's always busy with work. And he has a son so. I have friends. But they have their own lives and seem to be doing well. I didn't want to risk being an emotional burden. So I didn't vent to them.
Didn't even have much energy to Journal anymore either. And I stopped therapy when I was nineteen I think. Because my father essentially said I was wasting my therapists time. Since I had been seeing her since I was fifteen and still had the same mentality. My care for my well being and self preservation went out the window for the most part at this time. Think I was twenty at the time. Because that's when I met my ex. Let's call him Gio. Gio is five years older than me (I'm 22F now). I didn't expect us to end up dating. As I wanted to just be friends. But I don't regret it. He's a pain in my ass sometimes. But a great guy.
I think in 2022, April 14th me and my dad got into an awful arguement. Gio had a habit of calling me after he dropped me off home. And we'd talk while he walked to his since he lived a town next to mine. So he had heard everything. At some point I stormed out of the apartment. And my dad had stormed out and tried grabbing me to drag me back in. And that's when Gio pushed us apart. I want to make it a point. That Gio didn't come to the apartment to fight my dad. He came to console me, and since my dad was being agressive, he got protective. They ended up getting into a little scuffle and someone called the police.
After a little more arguing I packed some of my shit and stayed with Gio the next two weeks. Two weeks where I dealt with passive aggressive texts from my dad. The next few months were hot and cold with them. I'd move in and then get kicked out due to my dad and I bumping heads. Around December that year Gio's brother. Let's call him Antonio, invited us to live with him in Massachusetts. Since my dad presses charges on Gio. And due to court stuff, his boss didn't want to give him hours. So we were struggling with money. And Antonio wanted to help us. It was a hard move for me. Since I'm from New Jersey and haven't lived anywhere else.
But I figured a fresh start outta state would get me to take initiative and get my shit together. But before that could even happen there was a misunderstanding between me and Antonio's wife. It was quite small, and I was willing to apologize for it. But she blew it out of proportion and called her daughter. And I assume said I gave her attitude. Little bitch actually came to the house in attempt to fight me over it. Luckily Antonio was able to hold her back. I ended up getting sent back to Jersey. Which leads to my whole point here. It seems like no matter what. Something gets in the way of me going somewhere in life.
Im always surrounded by at least one or two immature grown ass adults. And im tired of it. My dad hasnt changed much either. And ive been unemployed for three months. Theres no peace at my parents house because of my dad. And there isn't any at my exes house. Which I currently have to reside since my parents moved into a one bedroom two months ago. I have no issue with the majority of the house aside from Gios aunt. Who is an old bitch I hate. And I don't use that word lightly. I understand she deals with stress and chronic pain. But that doesn't excuse her attitude. I know my place in this apartment and generally keep out of the way. And respect everyone. But she has a very nasty spirit, lacks accountability and self awareness, is entitled, and rude as hell.
And being told by not only my ex but her DAUGHTER to just ignore her. Is tiring. I understand it though, because that's just how it is with some people. But like... that's been my WHOLE childhood. Being mindful and expected to have sympathy, understanding, patience, and respect for others. Yet never or barely receiving any myself. All because what? I don't pay rent? I don't work 40+hrs a week? I'm so tired of this shit. I know I'm pathetic. I can be immature. And emotional. But I'm TRYING and it's like it's never enough. And when I'm at a point where I'm hopeless. It's as if I never tried in the first place.
I'm supposes to appreciate and validate others and what they've contributed for or something that benefitted me. Yet I can't get the simplest acknowledgment that hey, you've been struggling. But you managed to do X today. And that's great, I'm proud of you. But perhaps that's too childish of me. I'm a grown woman. Not a toddler. You don't get stickers for doing what you're supposed to. Because nobody gives a fuck. Hell, when you're a child it's probably worse. To quote my father, why should or would I get praise for something I was SUPPOSED to do.

I found my perfect dress off the rack but before I purchased it, I visited an alterations person to make sure they could fix the problem areas. They gave me a quote and said that I had to drop off my dress within a week and pay 50% off if I wanted to secure that price.
The alteration work won’t start until September because my wedding isn’t until next May. Is it weird to have to drop off my dress MONTHS in advance of the work?? Especially if I’m already paying a deposit. It feels sketchy to do that lol!

Hey y'all...so this has to be one of the craziest things that's ever happened to me and I really wanted to share it. Buckle up cause it's a long one...sorry in advance lol.
It started in 2019 I (26f but back then 21) met this dude (23m at the time) on kik from the Netherlands, let's call him...butthole. So, me and butthole hit it off, we're vibing, we're flirting, all that shebang.
We decide to date online long distance (cause I still lived in America at the time) so we text every day and we call a lot and it's just sooo nice. He was really sweet and nice to me. Well, August of that year I went on a trip to Ireland and got SA'd while there we'd been dating for 3 months at this point.
Once I got back home I finally worked up the nerve to tell him cause I legit had PTSD from that shit and when I did, he got mad at me. He accused me of cheating...I was like wtf?? So we broke up and went no contact and that was that.
Until
2020 it's lockdown....my diddly dumbass was lonely and bored and decided to text him! Like girl wtf was I thinkin? So I text him and he ends up apologizing for accusing me of cheating. He realized he was wrong and just like that, we went back to vibing and flirting. We're also making low key plans for me to visit him once lockdown is lifted too. After a few days of this I'm thinkin we're gonna get back together. But he says to me "I have something to tell you and you're gonna get mad at me".
And I'm like....ok? I didn't even know what to think like no clue what it could be (cause I'm dumb lol) And he goes "so I'm actually living with a girl who is (and I quote) officially my girlfriend". Oh man I was pissed and really hurt...like that fucking hypocrite!! So he goes on to explain they'd been dating for 2 Y E A R S!!
Anyway, so I'm dumb and was so in love and had no self esteem and thought he was the best I could get so I ask if he wants to leave her. He was like yea but we have a house together and I recently lost my job because of the pandemic so it'd screw us both over if I left now. I should've run right then and there but nooooo.
So I was like "you want to leave her and be with me right? Like, you will right?" And he said yes, I want to be with you, I'll leave if I can, blah blah blah." After a couple weeks of us acting coupley, sexting, sending pics, flirting and shit I woke up one day and realized, he's never gonna leave her for me. Ever. So....I decided I have to find this girl and tell her cause this is bullshit.
Problem is...I know nothing about her and apparently barely anything about him. He wouldn't tell me her name or anything. And he told me back in 2019 that he doesn't have social media (I should've known that was a lie cause who doesn't at least have facebook?) So I have nothing except his first and last name (later I find out he lied about how his last name is spelled and he gave me his nickname instead of his actual first name!...bro is a pathological liar I s2g!)
I tried looking for him on social media (obviously I didn't find him) I would try to ask about her name, but like in a really chill way, obviously he wouldn't tell me. I got desperate and googled Netherlands chat sites, and got on one and legit asked each person if they knew butthole mcbuttface from Rotterdam...I knew it was a long shot but I had to try.
That ended in a flop (well not entirely but I'll get back to that later) So then I get real crafty. I decide that I'm gonna play an adult fun game with him. I ask a question, he answers it truthfully and he gets a "reward". So I made sure to write out all the questions, starting with super innocent ones and I put the really revealing ones later cause I figured he'd be thinking with his other head at that point so he'd answer anything I asked.
We didn't do this over video call, we texted and I sent videos doing the thing (that way I could write down his answers) I did a lot of shit I'm not proud of. But I got the answers I needed. So I went all FBI and I got the specific area he lived from him and I ended up finding roughly where his house is, I was hoping I could find her name somewhere with that but it was a bust.
I tried to use the other answers to find stuff but I got nothing. I then decide to confront him over one of the answers (his brother's name) cause I legit thought he lied, it didn't sound like a name a Dutch person would have. He told me it was the truth. It's a really weird name for someone in the Netherlands so I looked him up on Facebook and I FOUND THAT BITCH!
That's how I realized he gave me the wrong spelling of his last name. So through his brother I found butthole's page and through butthole's page I found her!!! It took me weeks to find her! I was so shooketh! I couldn't believe I actually did it! So I go and look through her profile for a bit and I see that a few days before we played that game he FUCKIN PROPOSED TO HER!!!
I literally screamed when I saw that...I was so pissed and upset that he did that to her..... So I take a shit ton of screenshots and send her a message basically telling her everything. And she responded like "omg thank you for telling me". Like she wasn't upset at me or anything and that made me so sad. We chit chatted a bit and she was telling me all this shit about how she heard he was only with her for her money and blah blah blah...and she asked me for a few more specific screenshots which I gladly sent.
Then she said that she was at work and would confront him when she was home. I was in full support mode and was like I'm here for you and I'm so sorry this happened. And she was in support mode and she said she was sorry it happened to me too. So we exchange numbers and start texting. Later she texted me saying that she was off work and she was almost home and I wished her luck. At that point I texted him saying something like bye bitch good luck and blocked him lol.
So then I waited to hear from her...I check an hour later and saw that she blocked my number....I was so confused. I genuinely wish I could know what he said to her cause y'all...she ended up staying with him and getting married.I saw the pics on Facebook lol but yea....she could do so much better like...idk how this gremlin lookin ass bitch pulled 2 girls cause he's ugly inside and out. Idk if they're still together. I haven't looked in on them since I saw the wedding pics.
So yea, that's my story...but I said I would come back to the chat site not being a complete flop. I met a dude on there and we became friends and he introduced me to a guy who is now my boyfriend of almost 4 years and I ended up moving to the Netherlands to be with him lolol....I'm nowhere near where butthole lives so I'll never run into him but yea thanks for reading!

Hey folks!
Trying to decide the best path forward as we are going to leave town for at least a few years, if not permanently. Not sure if we'd come back. Few details:

• PITI+PMI=2442
• Current rate is under 3%
• Single family home (4 bed/2 bath), good neighborhood, near major city
• Been in home over 2 years

Could rent for 3200-3500 off quick quote from property management folks. Definitely would need to go with property management so 8% of rent to them. Then with savings for repairs, it's cutting it a little close to even to where I was hoping for some advice.
We could sell now and make around 65-70K? Then look to put that in an HYSA or similar to shoot for 4/5% annually.
We won't be buying again for some time regardless of what we choose. Just looking to make the right investment choice for our future and y'all looked like a solid community for some insight.

Hi!
My fiancé & I are recently engaged. She’s from Long Island, I’m from Rochester, NY. We met in NYC, have lived in the city for a couple years.
We would love to get married somewhere in NYC or NY state. We have been quoted 20-30k (which is more than we would ideally like to spend but still within our budget) for some restaurant buyouts in the city, but looking across the entirety of NY state is a little overwhelming.
Was just wondering if the good people of Reddit had any tips on affordable wedding venues across NY state, if not near NYC.
Thank you! 💞

Hi Brides! Just had my decor trials today and the final result was beautiful. The wedding is 8 months from now (destination wedding so we only have so many chances to go visit in person) and the final table will have some modifications (different vases, more vases, more fruits/flowers to fill up white space etc). The quote doesn’t have photos, only descriptions. Also, it’s entirely in Spanish so I have to translate it online myself.
How did you ensure the changes you made in the trials translated to the actual decor? I’ve heard horror stories about brides agreeing to one thing but seeing something different at actual wedding. These details would matter to me on my wedding day. I took pics on my own so I was thinking of making a PDF with a breakdown of each element. How have you brides handled this?
Thank you!

I am not engaged or getting married anytime soon but I do love the new conservatory at blackberry ridge. Has anyone gotten any quotes for a one day wedding from there and would like to share 🙂?

Ok, so I had a hilarious GG dream couple weeks ago, and my partner and I have been quoting it and slipping it into all our conversations so much that at this point I’m almost convinced it’s a deleted scene.
I thought maybe it was worth spreading the joy lol.
So basically, it was at Lane and Zack’s wedding, there’s still some set up going on for the main party, and Lane says something about waiting for Zack to get back because he got a great deal on the kegs of beer. Pan across the street to Zack pulling a little red wagon with two humongous grain sacks standing upright and open on it, looking super stoked. Lane rushes towards him, asking (in the tone she uses when asking about the rest of the money after they bought the sound system) “where are the kegs, Zack?!?” Zack responds loudly as he enthusiastically gestures towards the sacks, “Sandbags of beer Lane! SANDBAGS OF BEER!” Lane is in disbelief, hoping she’s misunderstanding what she’s seeing, and asks again, “okay Zack, but what about the KEGS? THE KEGS of beer?!?” Zack is a bit frustrated that she just isn’t getting how awesome this is, as he again exclaims, “sandbags of BEER, Lane!” And again in his slightly whinier, ‘don’t embarrass me in front of the guys’ tone, “Lane, it’s BEER! In SANDBAGS! It’s SANDBAGS of BEER!!!”
End scene 😂

Fellas:
As I bid farewell to this community, I wanted to extend a sincere thank you to each of you for sharing your stories and insights. I’ve never been married but I came joined after a long period with my ex. Each post, comment, and discussion has not only inspired me but also educated me about what to seek and what to avoid in a life partner. Thanks to your shared experiences, I feel better equipped and more hopeful about meeting my future wife. Here’s to the lessons learned and the journey ahead!
Thank you all for helping me reach a brighter future! My future self will be sure to look out for all those red flags! Including the ones that happen before the actual wedding!
Thanks again, fellas. I hope everyone here recovers and finds peace and love!

I (24F) am having issues with my friend group over the man (31M) that I picked. I’ll have to provide the long background story for context.
My friend group consists of several individuals. The specific few I will talk about I will refer to as “J” “M” and “A.” They are all 24F. J and M are a couple. These girls seem to have the strongest opinion about the ordeal. I met my friends in middle/high school. We didn’t become close until our college years. I love these people and we’ve gone on many trips and shared many experiences together.
In early 2023, I was asked out by a guy who frequented my place of work. He had apparently noticed me for some time. It is quite rare for me to “date,” but something about him gave me the sense I could trust him. He gave off good vibes overall. We went on a date a few days later and discovered we have everything in common. EVERYTHING. From our morals, values, hobbies, childhood upbringing, family dilemmas, favorite foods, love for traveling, etc. we are the same person in two separate bodies. The date was such a success and I knew then in my gut that he was going to be someone special.
Unfortunately, our beginning took a turn. We initiated dates back and forth that fell through due to valid reasons dealing with weather, conflicting schedules, etc. During this break between dates, he took the time to think if he was ready to start a new relationship. Although he liked me a lot, he was a little unsure unbeknownst to me. He’d been in several relationships before and they ended with him getting hurt whether they ended on good or bad terms. He was getting cold feet and didn’t know how to communicate that to me. He didn’t want to officially end it and he also didn’t want to lead me on so he said nothing for awhile. Although it wasn’t necessarily thought out, he was buying himself time until he knew how he felt (I learned all this later on). Then came about a month with no contact. During this time, he was dealing with family drama and I was becoming anemic. I eventually did need a blood transfusion. I mention this because that month apart went by fast and we didn’t have much time to linger over the thought of each other. I did notice he hadn’t reached out though. I’m certain now that he wouldn’t have ignored my messages had I sent any, but I was honestly waiting for him to reach out first. I was a little hurt to think that he had changed his mind and didn’t have the guts to tell me.
Sometime in that next month, when I returned to work after my hospital stay, I saw him at my job. I thought he saw me. He left and said nothing. I was actually devastated. He had been so kind and I didn’t know why he had a change of heart. At least he should’ve told me about it anyway. I decided that I was going to text him that night. I mentioned I had seen him at work, thanked him for the initial first date, apologized for not reaching out on my end, and I sort of wished him farewell under the assumption he wasn’t interested. It was very professional and I let him know that there were no hard feelings had he changed his mind. I was expecting some lame, typical excuse response if I even got one. He sent back this long text message apologizing, explaining himself, and asking me questions. He explained his fears and asked if we could start a “friendship” of sorts to keep a slow pace. There was chemistry of course, but he was afraid of me and now I was afraid of him. There was enough there to where we wanted to spend time together, but I needed to be sure I could trust him with my feelings and he also needed to be sure he could trust me with his heart. To this, I agreed to see him again.
We spent time going on casual dates and talking a lot. He became my friend. We talked a lot about what happened with the break over the following months. I told him how hurt I was and how communication is important to me. He understands the impact of going no contact abruptly. It has been entirely resolved and I also take responsibility in my part of not reaching out to him either. Ever since the break, he became consistent. We’ve talked every single day since. He was patient with me and I was patient with him. We earned each other’s trust and are now madly in love. It happened slowly and quietly. I have never met such a soft, kind, understanding, sensitive man. I am more myself with him than I ever have been before. If soulmates are real, then he is mine.
Now to the tea. Of course, my friends knew (most) all of this. I told them about the big events as they were happening. They were excited for me on my first date, they sympathized with me when he no longer reached out, etc. They were surely surprised when I decided to spend time with him again. I asked them to trust me. I didn’t think he was a bad guy. What happened was a mistake. As my man and I spent more time, my friend J would reach out asking me questions about him. I told only her about my concerns in the beginning. Back then, I was guarded and nervous to proceed, but it was something I knew I had to do. I had to find out for sure what kind of person he was.
Now, J, she’s a fireball. I love that girl, but I’ll admit she’s one to hold a grudge, keep score, and quietly judge. She’d never admit it. I made a mistake in choosing her as my confidant in those early days. I was looking for advice when speaking to her because I do value her opinion. She then went and told the other friends in my group, M and A included, about my man—what a bad person he seems to be, using her words, which frankly, are very different from mine. What makes me mad is she got to tell them about him, not me. Not even any of the positives either. This was all before they had even met him and they already didn’t like him. They had no problem scolding me for being with him.
Months down the road, I arranged a meeting for everyone. My friends thought a bar would be a great place. Still not sure about that. It was awkward. Nobody talked more than a few words. My man was shy and my friends didn’t really do anything to make him feel welcome. I was the only one babbling all night it seems like. You’d think that as time goes on, it’d be different. More meetings will help everyone be comfortable. Nope. Every time after was awkward. They haven’t spoken more than a few words to him at a time. It’s very “surface level” talk even now—a year later.
My last birthday had come around and J, M, and A took me out for drinks. It turned into a lecture session about how I seriously need to break up with him. They scolded me on “allowing a man to waste my time.” They criticized his career choice, our age difference, his “character,” etc. Mind you, this is based off of this one mistake and a few other things that I mentioned to J in private that were no longer an issue. I cried myself to sleep that night thinking I was going to have to break up with him to please them.
Of course, I couldn’t. They still invite him to events and friend functions out of politeness, but it’s always the same. They don’t acknowledge him. It makes me especially sad when my man makes comments like, “I’ve never seen so many shy people in one room” (He thinks my friends are just shy when they’re really just ignoring him). He’s printed out their pictures for our scrapbook and labeled them as “new friends.” I haven’t told him the truth and I probably never will.
A few months ago, J, M, me, and my man had plans to go to this local indie concert. Tickets are free. The concert was on a Friday. The next day, Saturday, was scheduled for my man’s nephew’s 2nd Birthday Party. His brother’s family would be traveling from out of town to celebrate their son. Well, things didn’t go according to plan. The brother decided to come a day early, the day of the concert. I should have cancelled the concert date then when I learned this news, but I told J and M we were still coming because my man still wanted to go. We figured we’d be able to sneak away since the brother had come by himself and wanted to come over and take a nap since he works odd hours. Well, my man’s dad dropped by and the brother didn’t take his nap as he’d planned. Now, having company over with expectations, I made the difficult decision to cancel with my friends last minute. I realize it is rude, but something came up. I didn’t see how we could go anymore.
My friends let me have it. J and M were so angry. They told me how rude we were and how disrespectful it was to their time to opt out of the concert which was free and in town by the way. There was also the two of them and they could have easily gone on a date. I think it would’ve been equally rude to leave our company or rush them out the door. I picked my battle. I should have gave them more notice, but I didn’t know we weren’t going until the last minute. It couldn’t have happened any other way. We fought over text for awhile. She accused me of being so different now, saying and doing things out of the ordinary for me. The truth is, I’m just growing up. J ended the conversation saying, “Well, we’re just going to stay mad.” She claimed to understand my circumstance, but she didn’t. We didn’t talk for weeks after.
I eventually got invited to a breakfast date to which I declined. I have been avoiding all of them for awhile. I keep getting “I miss yous” from J. She keeps asking when we’re gonna hang out next. It’s also true that J and M are now moving 4 hours away at the end of the month. My problem may solve itself. That does sound awful though. I feel like an asshole. I have not been a good or present friend lately. I’m so busy, tired, and I have no room for petty drama. I’m not giving up my friends yet, but I will gladly choose this boy over them. He’s given me more peace in one year than they have in five years.
My boy and I are now engaged. I told my friends the news. They said some nice things I guess. J texted to let me know “If I’m really happy, she’ll support me.” This would be nicer if it was coming from a concerned friend. To me, this whole situation feels controlling. It’s more than concern. There’s venom behind it. They don’t care about the wedding either. They don’t ask me fun questions or get excited when it comes up. When I eventually explained how he proposed, they seemed disinterested. I could tell they were judging the experience. When I finally showed J the engagement ring in person all she said was, “Take it off” in a snippy tone so she could try it on.
I’m so disappointed in my friends. I always wanted a big friend group and especially to share this big milestone with. I haven’t even gotten excited about wedding planning because I’m dreading going over the bridesmaids list. Anyway, if you’ve made it this far, thanks for listening. I definitely need to get this off my chest and outta my life. I can’t believe I’m losing my friends over a boy.

My fiance and I are planning a wedding in Portugal for sometime in April - June 2025. We specifically love Queluz National Palace as a possible venue for about 100-150 guests. So far I have reached out to a few wedding planners and their rates were all so drastically different (2.5K - 10K euro). I really liked the planner who quoted us 2.5K however there are no google reviews on her and it makes me hesitant. From those who have done a wedding in Portugal do you mind sharing any recommendations/advice/average prices?
Thank you in advance!

I've never had a good history with women, my biological mother never wanted me, nor did my next three step mothers after that, my first girlfriends parents didn't want their daughter dating a white boy so they moved to another state, a lot of new "friends", and to top it off a girl that had a boyfriend the day after our first date.
And as of four days ago a girl that sent me a text stating "Sorry, not interested, never was." I haven't had much money for a while and I finally scraped together a few extra bucks to take her out. I never expected a yes but I also didn't expect a no. You can't be hurt by something you didn't want to happen if you stopped wanting anything.
I like to consider myself a good judge of character. I was able to tell immediately with my best friend that he had some severe childhood trauma. Well low and behold a month after we met him and I showed up to class one day with a redbull for each other since we'd been on the phone for 6 hours the previous night and got jack shit for sleep.
But I wasn't able to see anything in her, the best way I can describe it was a Locked box, there were only a handful of keys and the ones that existed were already in the hands of the people who needed them, and to make a new one would be long and difficult. When we met it seemed like it was going to work out, and for a while it was. I don't know if I responded too fast, or if I just came on too strong.
All my friends keep telling me to stop worrying about it and that if she was the one she would've gone out with me. And I'm half and half on that, I don't want to stop worrying out of fear that I'll grow numb to the pain, after a while I grew numb to the abuse that my stepmother's gave me and that scared the shit out of me. But on the other hand if she was the one then she would've, it still doesn't change the fact that I've never met a girl like her and I doubt I'll never see one again.
My great grandmother always had a way with quotes, one of the ones she said that I'll never forget goes "one trashed man is another woman's treasure" as time goes on that quote gets less and less believable. But in the end I forgot why I stopped talking to girls, and life put me in my place. I expect the same to happen in about a year or so.

We debated solar due to high electrical bills with Central Hudson in NY. So we got a few quotes from a few companies and eventually went with one we were satisfied with. When discussing whether to even go for solar, we were told there would be enough excess production for us to receive credit from the utility company to where we'd end up having enough to have much lower bills & last thru winter, but from what I've been seeing, we're not close to producing enough excess to get any sort of "credit" for future usage.
Utility usage has not changed, routines stay the same. If anything it's probably less.
Panels are not in the shade or anything like that.
This is the info I was provided SEG410 Panels Enphase IQ+ Micro inverters Sys size: 8.2 Panel count: 20 Year 1 production: 9,150
We've had these installed since October of 2023. Lifetime production; 3.9MWh
Now I don't know all that much about solar but my ultimate max production "day" so far was where we produced 47.7Kwh and were able to export 18.4.
Yesterday being a really nice bright sunny, warm day. Produced 44.5Kwh and had to import 6.1
I'm either not getting the proper production from the panels, system was undersized for our usage or idk what's going on but I definitely didn't want to go into solar to have to pay for panels and still have to pay electric company crazy high bills, because I'm not producing enough to have credit like it was said I would.

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