Stiffness sore muscles sore all over

I’ll apologize in advance because this is so long but I don’t know what else to do.
My mother (60F) and I (25F) have been bickering about small things surrounding my wedding since I got engaged in March. It started with chairs and escalated to the guest list.
My parents have these two friends, we’ll call them Alex and Demi, who I am not particularly fond of. These friends also have two adult children who I am also not that fond of.
Demi is an extremely nosey woman and has been texting my mom non stop since I got engaged wanting to know ALL details. She also keeps saying she’s “so excited for OUR kids” (her son also just got engaged) and went as far as to ask my mom if her son’s wedding date was okay with my family.
It should be noted my parents don’t speak very kindly of these people to begin with. So much so that my fiancé is confused of why this is such a big fuss. They also travel with this couple and see them weekly.
When I finally told my mom I didn’t want this couple or their kids at my wedding she lost it. My parents told me they would lose friends and that I couldn’t just not invite them. I dug my heels in on my decision because I feel like this is another thing I’m not being heard on.
Fast forward this weekend and I dug in yet again and drew a line in the sand that I didn’t want them coming. I told my mom I didn’t understand how they would lose friends when I don’t have relationships with these people aside from when my parents invited them over growing up. Not to mention I just don’t see adults ending “friendship” over a non invite.
My mom yelled at me first and then would barely speak to me until today when she told me she was “ready to talk” because I had asked her what was wrong over the weekend and she “couldn’t put it into words before”.
We were on the phone for an hour, she started by reading her “notes” that she had made that ripped me and my character to pieces. She called me ungrateful, disrespectful, and not compassionate for “picking and choosing” who gets to come to my wedding.
She also said I was being self centered by referring to my wedding as my wedding. To top it all off she told me I was extremely close to losing my relationship with her and my dad and that I should stop and think about how my decisions affect other people.
I was so hurt by this because we’ve only been disputing two things and I’ve been trying to be kind about everything else- design, seating, flowers, etc.
I asked for examples about the labels she gave me and tried to understand what she meant by them. She couldn’t give any and kept going back to the original issue of me not wanting this family at my wedding.
She also said while I was “good at setting boundaries” she felt I would never have any meaningful personal relationships because I lack compassion, the ability to be kind, and the ability to forgive.
She then threw in my face that one of my bridesmaids and I haven’t always gotten along and “if she can come then other people who want to support you should be allowed to as-well”.
I told her I was over it and that she can invite whomever she pleases but I pointed out that while I gave her a quote of 25 people as well as my fiancés mother, my mom did not adhere to it. She argued that my fiancés parents went over their quota as well and I had to correct her that they didn’t until we told them to because my parents had a list of almost 40 people.
She cried on and off the whole call. She did apologize but it always felt back handed (“I’m sorry you feel that way but you always say I’m a bad mom so I can’t help feeling this way”) I was very calm most of the call until the last 15 minutes where I couldn’t stop crying because I still can’t understand the ungrateful, no compassion, and disrespectful comments.
At this point she went back on her words and said it was “an isolated incident” because now it’s been resolved. She called it a thing of the past. She also demanded I apologize to her because she had already done so.
I had to correct her and say that I have been constantly asking for examples and a solution and apologizing. She agreed with that but ultimately would not allow me to recognize my own frustration without adding in that she “feels the same”.
At this point I couldn’t take it anymore. I told her I was done and asked if we could cancel the wedding. Unfortunately we’ve already signed a contract so we can’t. I love my fiancé but I cannot take this any more, I’m also not sure if I can move on past the things my mother said. Her and my father as well as my fiancés parents are paying for the wedding so I don’t think no contact is the option.
I need advice, anything is helpful. I’m in therapy and I do know my mother is a narcissist from my work with my therapist (my childhood is also another sore subject my mom hates talking about unless it’s all sunshine and rainbows). Honestly, I want to crawl in bed and never get out but I know that’s not an option. What do I do?

I live next to a now busy street. So loud booming cars are not rare. But there is one car that goes by twice a day that takes it to another level. The windows shake and I can literally see the pictures bouncing on the walls. It's loud but I never experienced it as loud as it was this morning. I was in the bathroom all the way on the other end of the house from the street. I think a combination of the next house over bouncing the sound back towards me and how good the acoustics in a bathroom with all that tile is. It's a resonance chamber. It was painfully loud. Now hours later my ears are still sore, things are kind of muffled and if it was higher pitched I would call it a ring. I hope it goes away soon.
I would say that I wish these loud cars were illegal. But I know they already are. It just outside a few cities the laws aren't enforced. I loathe these people who think it's great to boom all over the place. Many of which wear earplugs themselves since it's so loud.

Sorry for the long post. I'm in need of some guidance...
Split from abusive husband last June. Since then he has been having our 3 children sleep over 2 nights every week. Today I have seen on a shared email address a drafted letter from his solicitors to have 50/50 shared custody - obviously attempting to get out of paying maintenance!
So up until 6 weeks ago our children would sleep over with him 2 nights a week (eldest refused as he's 15 and can make his own mind up).. originally I had a voice note from our youngest whilst he was in his care (11years old, autistic with severe allergies). This vn displayed my son having an allergic reaction - wheezing, tight chest and sore throat! My husband refused to answer my 6 phone calls.. I then sent him a text 'answer your ******* phone... is *** OK?' To which he rung me back stating 'yes he's ok I'm lying in bed with him now.. he's just a bit wheezy and has an itchy throat (prime examples of anaphylaxis)' I said on the phone to him 'he is probably having a reaction.. do you know how to administor an epi pen!?' To which he replied 'no haven't got a clue'. This all happened whilst I had gone away for the weekend and had no way of getting back in time...
The following weekend my ex 'moved' into his new flat (he's renting a place for the boys but lives with his new piece).. all 3 boys were excited to stay over in dadi's new flat. Long behold I had the dreaded phonecall not only off my eldest (15) but also off the middle child (13) balling their eyes out to come home because; 1. There was water pouring through the ceilings! 2. Daddy wasn't there and that they'd been left with Nanny (paternal grandmother) who was not capable of looking after them due to her previously 'attempting' to commit suicide after WE (myself and husband) had called her out on leaving our then 4, 3 and 1 year old to fend for themselves all day out on the streets! 3. There was no fridge or beds for them all.. just a dart board without darts!
That night I had to go pick my children up.. to which my husband and his mother slagged me off to our children. The following day I allowed the youngest to stay with his dad - the eldest 2 refused to see him.
When the youngest got home to me the next day, he disclosed that he was left in the flat for hours by himself and didnt know where his father was. This is a highly functioning autistic child with severe allergies! My friend happened to drive past the ex's flat that evening and noticed my husbands friend standing outside. When I questioned my youngest about this, stating 'oh it must have been nice to see ***** yesterday!?' He replied with 'oh yeah, the door bell rang so I ran down stairs to answer it, and ***** was there asking where Dadi was. But I couldn't tell him because I hadn't seen Dadi for a few hours!'
That week I sent the father of my children a list of what I expect of him inordered for him to have the boys over night again; 1. Sort your life out (I'm under the impression that he's on drugs - he's racked up 26k of debt since leaving, but all debt collectors letters still come to the 'family' home) 2. He makes the flat safe for our children (damp and leak). 3. He doesn't go against my wishes with his mother looking after them. 4. Our youngest actually has a bed to sleep in - he's been on a blow up bed since last summer, eventhough I have provided a double bed for the children. 5. He puts our children 1st - He now acts dad of the Year to his latest supply and her 3 children constantly sending them money (bank statements Still come here). 6. Pays back the £600odd that he owes me (he told me to go ahead and order the boys trainers and clothes and he would pay me back his share the following day).. nope a month I've had to wait for it, eventhough he knew I didn't have food or electric in the house for the boys that week, but he could pay £20 for his 'secret' phone to talk to his new piece!
The youngest has spent 7/8hours with his dad every Sunday during the day since.. the eldest 2 still refuse to see him. The only thing I have stopped is over night visits due to the welfare and concerns I have surrounding our children - eldest 2 are in therapy because of his abuse and manipulation tactics!
The last 6 weeks have been nothing but hell..I'm a single mum on UC, caring for my mother, bringing up my 3 boys and paying all the bills including the mortgage (his name is still on it). I have put maintenance up to £200 a week based off his £800 a week main income - he is also working 2 nights on top of this a week (the 2 nights he should have his own children).
Today I saw a drafted letter on our shared email address from the solicitors of my husband. In this email, it states that I have been aggressive toward their client and I'm withholding the children having contact with their dad unless he pays maintenance. Their dad rings and texts them every day.. the only thing I have stopped is over night visits - its down to them if they want to reply or not.
The letter also states that I should include the ex on a family app so that he knows what's going on with the children.. why do I have to organise a calender for him when he's included on spond and WhatsApp groups for the boys sports?
I have tried my best to encourage my children to see their dad.. I am under womens aid for abusive and sexual violence.
That's all I want is for the children to have a healthy relationship with their dad.. but still he tries to manipulate and control me through the children.
I am monitoring all texts between my children and their dad - he still tries his best to make me out as the bad guy, eventhough the eldest 2 can finally see what he's like.
So my questions are.. can the courts force the children to see their dad? What can I do to stop him from having 50/50 access? Am I being unreasonable with my list of what I expect of him with the children's welfare?

Letters from Bermuda – The Arena Challenge
…..
To: Gregor
From: Steven
Today was an amazing experience. I’ve shared a lot about the amazing things here in Bermuda, but today was beyond all that! Marcel put on one of his acts, “April Showers,” which was fantastic, but the big thing was a group of four slaves taking on The Frost Gauntlet!!!
The whole place has been abuzz since these four stepped up for the challenge yesterday. Word has it that they killed two of the sorcerers here. The arena was packed this morning to see them face the first challenge – the Arena Battle.
Now, typically, they ask for volunteers from the guests to destroy the upstarts, but today’s battle was different – clearly something more personal to Tanner Freeman. Instead of allowing us guests to volunteer, they had brought in much more interesting opponents. I hadn’t seen these combatants on the island, so I suspect they magically summoned them for this fight.
You won’t believe it when I tell you who was in the lineup!
Freeman was running the show, which was odd – typically, Petoir Demavich is the Arena Master, and runs everything.
We could see the ragged group of four slaves chained in their waiting area via viewing monitors. They were pathetic in their useless clothes and robes. As the Thralls unshackled them, a very comely female started singing. Her voice was as enchanting as her delicious figure under her burlap clothing.
They emerged into the arena, huddled together like mice. Of course, the comely one with the sweet voice was in the back, along with a shifting-looking male in sorcerer’s robes. Leading them was a hideous-looking woman all covered in puss and sores and a bare-chested male who looked like he had just finished deadlifting twice his weight. Clearly, the two in the front were the brawlers of the group, and the two in the back were the brains.
The Thralls shoved impoverished clubs into the hands of the slaves, and it was interesting when the bare-chested one quickly passed his club to the bandaged and ugly woman. She looked like she could handle those shitty clubs pretty effectively.
Then Tanner introduced the winning team. Gregor, you must sit down for this!
First was Master Carlos of Dark Gate, armed with his majestic, heavy, silver sword and laser pistol. I commented to Darnmark, seated next to me, “Laser pistols are’nt good at range, but they pack a hell of a punch!”
Next was Master Timothy of Bloodforge, who also had his tell-tale heavy, silver sword and a GH2 Submachinegun. Darnmark remarked back, “Not a good range weapon either!” Which it is not!!!
I was on the edge of my seat as they announced the third opponent, Lord Steven of Frosthold. Can you believe it? I don’t know how Ms. Frost convinced him to join into this fight, but he’s an incredible sorcerer and him alone could defeat this ragtag group. Unlike the other two in light armor, Lord Steven was just in his robes and was wielding that incredible focus of his.
It was almost as if they didn’t need to introduce anyone else. This ragtag group of pathetic slaves was soon to be a skid mark on my underwear after these three took care of them. But we still were to have one more introduced.
Last, but not least, as Piotr Demavich himself, armed in his glorious heavy armor and wielding his amazing heavy, silver sword. Now, it's no wonder why Tanner was running the show. Clearly, they were pissed off at these four!
The entire arena was alive! I don’t know when we’ve seen such great compatants gathered in one fight – maybe the Bloodmoon Wars? This was sure to be a quick and very bloodly fight.
Well, that’s what we thought…
The four slaves, led by the ugly one, reacted instantaneously. Immediately, the comely one with the shapely legs started singing, and it sounded good. Immediately afterward, the bare-chested fighter surprised everyone as a purplish blast of energy fired across the arena straight at Piotr. As it exploded, all four of them easily lept to safely. In fact, Piotr was the only one who crashed into the ground on his belly – everyone else nimbly dodged the blast. The first shot fired seemed to do little more than disorient the inevitable.
The leader stepped forward as if to dare the four masters to come forward while the sorcerer started flying off to the side and concentrating. I was a bit concerned, but it was clear that Lord Steven would end this fight before it ever started.
That being said, I almost struggle to write this next part.
The bare-chested Spaniard, whom I had given little consideration, blasted Lord Steven brutally in the back. It was almost as if we were witnessing the attack over and over again as that evil purple energy drove into Lord Steven’s back, killing him instantly. And just like that, the crowd was as stunned as I was!
Piotr sprung forward, as did Carlos and Timothy, and gunfire rang out in the arena. Within seconds, the ugly female leader was down and unconscious. It was time for the tide to change, and we could see the fear on the slave's faces – they had got lucky, that was all!
Then, Piotr lost his grip on his sword, and it flew several meters away. Suddenly, an enormous wolf appeared, summoned by the slave sorcerer. Everything was happening so fast. The bare-chested one was blasting Pitor with his purplish energy that seemed to drive right past his armor and the wolf leapt onto Master Timothy. Meanwhile, Master Carlos was suddenly encased in some kind of rock crystal with his leg jammed in a crack in the arena floor.
Then, Pitor was unconscious, and Timothy was dead. It happened so fast, my head is still swimming Gregor! The attendants were immediately out in the arena, and the slaves were being ushered from the space. There was nothing but stunned silence in the entire arena – that, until Darnmark sneezed, pulling me from my surprise.
Letters from Bermuda – The Hunting Challenge
…..
To: Dimvhall
From: Heidee
I have to say, I love my job here at Bermuda. Manning the Control Room is always so much fun. Yeah, most of it can be boring, Heidee, but every once in a while, we get excitement. The past few weeks have been awesome! We have these new slaves that have caused nothing but trouble, and they’ve been on the drone-radar ever since – especially the one they call, Emer.
Well, this morning, they entered into The Frost Gauntlet!
We didn’t see much of it this morning, as it was in the arena, and Danny Boy mans those drone cameras, but he was upset. It seems that the slaves won the first stage and were moving on to the Hunting Challenge. Best yet, I was put in charge of the team that would monitor them.
The slaves were tasked with retrieving the Star Master – you know, the one I told you about – and they were totally going to fail. The drones zipped around and monitored their moves. One, a sorcerer, was super fast and kept losing us. Another one was really sneaky, and she kept slipping away. However, it was clear that they had no clue what to do and were totally lost.
Then, this Spaniard, whom they called Diago, blasted the Star Master and totally disrupted the whole creature. The sorcerer grabbed up the controlling Star Master and zipped to the bridge – man he’s fast at flying! The other three struggled to sneak there way back to the bridge, but one of them was dropped by the guests.
Suddenly, the sorcerer turned into a huge air bison and rushed over and rescued the downed slave. Everyone in the Control Room stood there with their mouths agape. I’m actually worried that I might get demoted to some lower duty.
But I do wonder how these four will fare in the next challenge.

Reading other ECV experiences was so helpful for me going into mine that I thought I would share!
TLDR: not as painful as I thought it could be, was not successful, no complications, would do it again/glad we tried.
This is my second baby. Footling breech and has been from at least 32 weeks when we discovered it at a growth ultrasound scheduled because we had COVID and they offered to me. We’re based in the US.
Scheduled ECV for 37w6d. The nurse called to tell me we were doing it a little later than they wanted because of scheduling at the hospital and it would be a mid-day slot instead of first thing in the morning. Because you prepare like a c-section this meant no watefood until the procedure and monitoring was done. Eek.
I was so nervous because I heard from the doctors, nurses, internet, and some friends that this is a really really painful procedure and the (rare) risks were scary (emergency c section, placental abruption, fetal distress). I wasn’t sure if this was selfish to try when there were so many potential risks to the baby just because I was trying to avoid a c-section. I felt a little better after reading about the (more uncommon) risks to a c-section the night before when I was almost ready to call the whole thing off. That made me feel a little more justified in the decision.
Day of: drove separately from my husband with the plan to try to do this without an epidural or spinal. Got there 1.5 hours before and everyone was delighted we arrived so early (I thought we were late!) I wasn’t as hungry/thirsty as I thought I would be, completely doable. Got set up in a room with a hospital gown but kept bra/underwear on which was great because you’re pretty exposed during all of this. The wrist IV was a little more painful than I wanted but it was great to have some fluids finally. Got the shot to relax my uterus and it was a teeny prick, super minimal. 15 minutes later we were ready to go. I didn’t have the heart racing experience from the uterus relaxing shot I had read about.
Procedure: 2 doctors, 1 PA and 1 nurse were helping me. 1 doctor was doing the ultrasound and helping to position while my primary doctor called the shots and directed everyone/did most of the maneuvering. It was strong pushing on my stomach at first with some more intense pushes. I wouldn’t call this pain, just heavy pressure. The hardest part was that I was tensing up and bracing myself a lot against the hospital bed and they were asking me to try to relax. I’m not sure if did take the epidural or spinal if it would have been easier for them because I would have been less tense. They didn’t seem to think so but you only get so many tries to turn the baby before they don’t want to do more and risk overdoing it and causing risks. My doctor said it’s normally 3 tries and we did 4-5 tries over 15 minutes with 2 breaks.
So unsuccessful but glad we did it. They told me we could try again right before the scheduled c section when I’ve had a spinal and see if that would work. Also sometimes babies still turn!
I could drive myself home after this and feel some soreness like a bruise but nothing major. They told me to watch out for bleeding, contractions, signs of labor or loss of movement for baby. Right now baby is super active and no signs of any issues. If you’re thinking about it I would recommend even though mine didn’t work! It wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be and I’m glad we tried.

22M. No medications and generally healthy. About three weeks ago, I developed an infection from a wound I had on my heel from new shoes that were nagging my heel when walking, and I probably wasn't quite quick to disinfect the wound I got from that afterwards. Tissue around it started swelling up (also on the side of my foot) and it was quite painful so about 5 days after I first got the wound I went to the ER to get it checked. The doctor did offer me antibiotics but I wanted to wait it out and see if it would get better over the next coming days since I had about 6 months prior been on antiobiotics for 11 days and I didn't want to go on them again if it could be avoided. The doctor accepted my suggestion and said I should call again over the next few days if it got worse.
Over the next few days the swelling started to slowly go down and became less painful without antiobiotics, so I thought I was good. However, the wound was still sore for quite a while. I had actually forgotten all about it, but then today I noticed that when I strectch my heel where the wound was located, it looks inflamed/swelled where the wound was still now. There is no limited range of motion and no pain involved. And when I touch the area, it feels like the bone sticks more out on that heel than the other, which makes me wonder. Is it the skin that is still swelled up or has the infection caused some kind of inflammation in the bone on that heal? And should I be concerned about any of this and see a doctor about it?

30F
Running history
Ran cross country in high school. 4K PR 17:29 (7:02/mile), 3 mile PR 22:03 (7:21/mile). I didn't do any training in the off season.
Annoyingly, I never actually raced a 5K during high school cross country. We did one three mile race each year, the rest of our races were 4K's.
Started running again April 2023 to train for a sprint triathlon.
Mileage by Month Graph
https://imgur.com/a/TRItqf8
Race results

Month	Race Type	Time	Weather	Notes
April 2023	5K	24:59 (8:02/mile average)	30 degrees, 17 mph NW wind, 86% humidity	Negative splits. Felt good, didn't take this too seriously.
June 2023	3 miles	23:01 (7:40/mile average)	70 degrees, 7 mph S wind, 56% humidity	Positive splits. Very hard, didn't feel great.
August 2023	5k, part of a sprint triathlon	23:23 (7:31/mile average)	70 degrees, cloudy, 3 mph wind NW, 73% humidity	Negative splits. Hard but felt good. Garmin measured this course as short. Garmin 5K time is 23:53 (I kept running after crossing the finish).
November 2023	5 mile trail	42:27 (8:29/mile average)	39 degrees, 14 mph SSE wind, 65% humidity	Positive splits. Very hard. Garmin recorded this as 5.20 miles. Took three week off from training in September due to a vacation.

May 2024 Goal 5K
After the November five miler, I settled on a new goal: beat my high school running performance. I decided to define this as running a 5K at a pace equivalent to my three mile PR in high school. This equals a 5K time of 22:35.
In December, I added kettlebell strength training twice a week. I upped my mileage and ran six days a week. Generally, I ran three easy six mile days, one easy 8 mile, one easy long run between 10-14 miles, and two workouts a week. The workouts were usually one hill, and the other was usually tempo or intervals. Generally my typical easy running pace was anywhere from 9:20-10:30/mile. I probably ran some intervals and hills too hard. I also didn't dedicate enough time to warm ups or cool downs.Garmin VO2 max increased to 52 in December and 53 in March. Finally, I signed up for a May 2024 5K race.
Last 11 weeks of weekly mileage: 44, 45, 47, 46, 20 (vacation), 42, 41, 38, 28, 29 (vacation half this week), 18 (vacation half this week).
I mostly avoided injury. There was a week I did two hard workouts on consecutive days, and that left my knee hurting for about a week, but thankfully I recovered. I also occasionally struggled with a side stitch/pain on my right side.
Lessons learned: it got really hard to prioritize running and workouts during vacation, and as the weather got nicer in my area I started to get busier too. I think my training peaked too early and tapered off too strongly.
I did get a Garmin 5K PR of 23:26 on a 4/30 training run which left me feeling confident. The workout was 5 1K's with two minute rest in between, and I ran the 1K's at the following paces: 7:11, 7:07, 7:00, 6:55, 6:42. However, a different workout the next week left me demoralized after it was much harder than I anticipated.
Race Day
The few days leading up to the race, I was quite nervous. A big concern of mine was peeing my pants. This happened during my high school three mile PR. At that time I was also on my period, so I was hoping to write off the experience as a weird one off related to menstruation. I was also quite worried about getting a debilitating side stitch, as that happened during one of my last few training runs. I focused on drinking a lot of water in the few days leading up to the race, as I theorized the side stitch came on due to dehydration. I slept well the week of the race.
Race day weather: 65 degrees, 12 mph SSE wind, 73% humidity.
Woke up at 6:30 AM and ate some bites of sweet potato and a smoothie made from tart cherries, beets, and cocoa. Listened to the Kendrick-Drake diss tracks to pump me up. I leisurely biked the three miles to the start of the race. I ran 3/4 of a mile for a warm up and did some dynamic movements to warm up. Used the porta potty twice, including just minutes before the race. Had to cut through nearly a thousand people to get near the start. Race started at 8:45 AM.
I decided to aim for a pace of 7:08 and see how that felt. I chose this pace mostly based on the 5 1000 meter workout I did a few weeks before. I ended the first mile at 7:07. It felt hard but manageable. Same for the second mile, where I ended at 7:08.
However, I fell apart a bit during the third mile. I really slowed down for about 2 minutes and 15 seconds, bottoming out at a pace of 8:15 per mile. Seeing that really demoralized me. My breathing was labored, and I started to feel a pain on my right side and general stomach discomfort. I was able to bring up my pace for a minute, but then I had another slower minute. During this time, there were two runners ahead of me. I think one was coaching the other - and she started to encourage me too. I sped up to run with them and stayed with them for a few minutes. I ran past some friends who were cheering me on, and I couldn't even manage a smile or to notice their sign. I ended the third mile with a split of 7:28. My husband was following along via bike and he could tell I really struggled in that third mile. He said it looked like I wasn't breathing and he could hear me gasping for air.
I didn't think it was possible, but once my watch buzzed for the third mile, I surged. Maybe it was desperation for the race to be over. My pace the last .10 of the mile was 6:34. I started to feel something strange in the pelvic region, but kept my pace.
Time: 22:34
Once I crossed the finish line, I peed. Couldn't control it at all. It felt like it was more than a leakage, but it also didn't dribble down my leg.
I felt terrible for a good 10-15 minutes. had to lay down. Really wanted to just sit on a toilet, but since my only option was the porta potty, I declined. Suddenly though, I felt better. I regained my strength, cheered on a friend who was finishing a longer race, and went on to have a busy Saturday complete with another 17 miles of (leisurely) biking.
Soreness was minimal. Saturday I swore that was my last race.
Now I'm thinking, how do I get below 22 minutes? I think I'll aim for a fall race and try using a Pfitzinger plan.
but first - I shall find a pelvic floor PT.

Age 34
Sex M
Height 6’1
Weight 195
Race white
Duration of complaint 2 years
Location NY
Any existing relevant medical issues high cholesterol
Current medications rosuvastayin. Lexapro, abilify, Wellbutrin
Include a photo if relevant
Potential lymes flare up
Context: had limes back in 2005-2006 time frame.
Over the last call it two years I’ve been struggling with chronic pain and fatigue.
Pain: primarily in my hips and hip flexors. Also back, upper buttocks, and legs. Pelvis/groin area. I feel stiff.muscles feel super tight. The last few months I did pt. 6 weeks 2x a week. I felt some relief but no change. The pain is getting worse.
I have had an MRI in year one and nothing showed. Today I went for an X-ray and updated MRI but my gut says nothing will show. I find out Friday.
Interestingly, the MRI tech asked me if I had blood work done and checked for Lymes. I told her I had it in the past but it didn’t cross my mind.
I’m going for blood work tomorrow.
Does this sound like a flare up that I never caught? My finger tips on my left hand recently have gone numb.
The pain level has been increasing over the last year.
Does this sound like a different issue. I don’t excercise and work from home. But I’m not couch bound. I do walk and play with my daughter and other activities.
I feel irritable all the time. Any ideas? Obviously I’ll be finding out myself soon enough but honestly I would just benefit at all from some answers it’s been a journey getting here with some doctors dismissing me. Not willing to run tests or scans.

Context: had limes back in 2005-2006 time frame.
Over the last call it two years I’ve been struggling with chronic pain and fatigue.
Pain: primarily in my hips and hip flexors. Also back, upper buttocks, and legs. Pelvis/groin area. I feel stiff.muscles feel super tight. The last few months I did pt. 6 weeks 2x a week. I felt some relief but no change. The pain is getting worse.
I have had an MRI in year one and nothing showed. Today I went for an X-ray and updated MRI but my gut says nothing will show. I find out Friday.
Interestingly, the MRI tech asked me if I had blood work done and checked for Lymes. I told her I had it in the past but it didn’t cross my mind.
I’m going for blood work tomorrow.
Does this sound like a flare up that I never caught? My finger tips on my left hand recently have gone numb.
The pain level has been increasing over the last year.
Does this sound like a different issue. I don’t excercise and work from home. But I’m not couch bound. I do walk and play with my daughter and other activities.
I feel irritable all the time. Any ideas? Obviously I’ll be finding out myself soon enough but honestly I would just benefit at all from some answers it’s been a journey getting here with some doctors dismissing me. Not willing to run tests or scans.

I’m 37. 22st male statins. Basildon hospital. I was working out in a garage for 6 months boxing lost 4 stone from24. I went to the garage to hit the punch bag felt drained 2 o’clock in the morning felt like I was having a heart attack. So went to the hospital for them to say it’s not which is great news but gave me naproxen but I was already taking statins for high cholesterol. 2nd day of taking them I had a really bad reaction. Hives all over face swollen lips. Felt very strange for months afterwards very weak. Throat would go tight and swell after eaten foods and drinks. I thought I was allergic to these. So would get test always come negative then I asked for a full allergies test 10 months ago I’ve been waiting for ten months I had it booked for next month on the 3rd only for the clinic to cancel my appointment that I’ve been desperately waiting for. I’m gutted they have just randomly cancelled. this is Basildon, and honestly I felt like it was keeping me going. 14 months of hell the doctors have been pretty poor to me I never ever go to the doctors until 14 months ago. I’ve had the ambulance out on a number of occasions I’ve been up the hospital during the nights because I’ve woken up with tight throat. It’s not strep negative it’s not cobble stone negative the believe it could be allergies they also believe it to be silent reflux had taken medication lanzopro can’t spell very well either lol but was making me unwell, I get blurry vision and was asked to get my eyes tested my eyes haven’t changed and are ok. Burning throat white mucus. Probably unrelated but also started 14months ago right shoulder pain right back of neck pain. Because I’ve been going through this for a long time you can imagine mental stress off my throat closing up and not being able to breathe properly. I’ve taken Antihistamine every day for 14 months I feel like they don’t help. I have had test for pots copd and asthma was all under long Covid testing but the only thing they found was a restriction on my left lung but don’t know what it is. I got referred to respiratory clinic FINALY after 14 months of begging then I got a letter to say it will be October. I’m very depressed on how things are going I’m not getting the correct help the doctors I’ve had to change because the lady wasn’t helping me so I made a complaint and refused to see her and the see the head nurse if that’s a thing she wasn’t much better I said I need test to see what these lumps are it could be a tumour or cancer she laughed at me. I put the phone down check my nhs app online for her to write. patient thinks he has cancer and he would benefit from counselling therapy and now I’m doing therapy second session honestly hand on my heart these gps have really made me feel like I’m going insane at times. Can’t find nothing wrong with me but I’m really unwell with all this. Blury eyes sore tight throat flare up. Itchy skin sometimes swollen tongue itchy skin after shower, hard to swallow at times back of tongue lumps swell red spots on tongue keep having white film over tongue white mucus over throat fatigued every day. Wake up during the night with tingling arms and shoulders. Was out in the sun the other day few hours my hands burned but felt tingling for days. Very dry hands almost like I was having a reaction from the sun. Im not a praying man but I’ve done a lot of praying this year. Any help suggestions would great be appreciated. I’m at the end with it all.

Male 25/ 158lbs/ 5'11", Hey hoping anyone might have some insight or recommendations for me as I'm at a loss here. I've been having a lot of health issues over the past 3 weeks.
It initially started as some breathlessness every now and then (feeling like there's negative pressure in my lungs), especially with light exertion, something I've never had before. Then a few days later I also started getting some tightness in my chest, alongside what feels like fluctuations in heart/blood flow, anything from it getting faster and harder when sitting up/laying down to randomly, I can almost visibly see my heartbeat go down to my abdomen (gets worse throughout the day). Around this same time I started getting a lot of bloating in my abdomen, alongside an increase in flatulence, and lots of noises made especially when trying to lay down in any position, alongside an uncomfortable feeling (no pain) this has caused trouble sleeping sometimes.
Since then I've had a lot of other things come and go, unsure if related but no obvious cause, including headaches, dizziness, small muscle spams and twitches, joint soreness and extreme erections whenever waking up in the night (not normal for me usually). Something I also had a couple of times is some major muscle spams around my inner chest which I found to co-inside with the last point, it would last for a couple of minutes and it felt like all the muscles inside my chest would spam, no breathing or heartbeat noticeably affected or pain.
Initially I went to the doctors for the breathing issues and had an x-ray to check for fluid in the lungs however that came back clear. We have a blood pressure monitor at home that I have tested regularly with however always comes back perfect. Afterwards I was sent for an ecg then echocardiogram (no physical exertion), which also came back perfect. However as the issue is on and off wondering if it would show up when not happening? Lastly my doctor had a blood test for celiac as it has been known to run in my family, however this has also come back clear. At this point he has just recommended me to check if eating anything particular causes any issues, which I have been trying to do (haven't noticed anything in particular).
For some background info I live a very sedentary lifestyle, suffer with a lot of anxiety, get almost no sun, work at a computer and spend the vast majority of my other time also at a computer, I would however say I am still average+ fitness. I do go to the gym for weight training twice a week however have stopped since developing these symptoms. Around 5 months ago I started bulking, just upped my current diet, which is relatively good (maybe a tiny bit lacking in vegetables). I started cutting around a week before I noticed these symptoms, I stopped immediately (was at around 2,100 kcals for a 2.5k basal rate.) One thing I did notice a couple of months ago was a weird feeling right near the front of my lower stomach, a very small amount of tenderness and a weird feeling like something running their finger down my stomach, very minor and barely noticed it when it happened, may be entirely unrelated.
I also went to the hospital a year back for a pinched nerve in lower back, had some pain which went away, however had a very similar feeling in stomach, intestines and troubles sleeping due to it being uncomfortable (haven't noticed anything directly in back now however).
Lastly a few days before I noticed the lung issues initially I had a really intense cardio workout for the first time in years which is initially what I thought might be connected to the breathlessness, not sure if that's feasible but it's where my mind went.
Apologies for the wall of test just wanted to get all the information across as there's a lot to it, this is severely impacting me as I can barely concentrate enough for work, thankyou!

I was ghosted by my partner of a little over a year at the start of March. No argument or fight, it seemed all good to me, just one day they were gone.
I was devastated at first, and although it's still a little bit of a sore spot, I don't feel heartbroken now. 99% of the time I'm fine, but every now and then I get a feeling of some sadness.
I thought it being just short of 3 months with no contact (have confirmed they are alive and not injured or in a coma, just no longer in touch with me) was enough for me to start going forward.
I met someone a couple weeks ago who is not making a secret of how interested in me they are and honestly I'm interested in them as well, but I keep feeling this weird guilt being with them...it almost feels like I'm cheating on my ghost, maybe because I didn't get the full closure on the relationship?
And that in turn is making me feel guilty for talking to this new person in my life, as though I'm leading them on, and I worry that I might hurt myself and them more because of it. It doesn't make sense to me, I shouldn't feel guilty for living my life just because someone else decided they didn't want to be a part of it any more.
I should also mention I did disclose how long ago the relationship ended and how it ended to this new person.
I think I messed up and wasn't as ready as I thought, and now someone else might get hurt because of it.

anyone have tips for muscle imbalances from sprinting?
I’ve been going to barry’s for a little over a year now and my sprinting speed has improved! but I’ve noticed my dominant leg becoming much stronger than the other, and more sore following class.

Would love to hear your journey to get a DX and treatment and how it worked for you.
My longer story:
I am legitimately accident prone. In 2018 was in a car accident and lost against the steering wheel.
Approximately where your gallbladder is started experiencing sharp pains. Also rotator cuff damage on that side.
I had my gallbladder taken out on the chance it was that. No HIDA scan necessary, they saw an incidental gallstone on us like a year prior. Never had issues and it wasn't what we were looking for at the time.
I also had shoulder surgery, they suspected a SLAP tear based on my symptoms and pain location (pain starts in the front and wraps around into my scapular area. Although it was hard to tell where it started until recently)
No slap tear confirmed via scope
At this point I'm told intercostal neuralgia, modify my life style.
So I stop using my abs and let my body develop compensations.
Never using my core resulted in liveable pain levels (but still present)
Enter 2022. I break my knee and do something to my thigh/hip
Finally in 2024 after failing numerous regular PTs I'm put into Pelvic Floor PT.
Last week she starts assigning core exercises.
As soon as I activate my deep abdominal muscles the pain climbs and hasn't left since.
And it's pain, not soreness from something new.
Now I can't sleep cough or laugh.
Pacing seems to help.
So anyway I had a light bulb moment when that happened and am thinking I don't have intercostal neuralgia, but possibly ACNES still don't think that does anything to HELP me..
But if you do have this how did you get over it? I need to heal my core to heal my leg to have some sort of life.

Hello! New to T2 diabetes (3 weeks). Just got approved for this CGM and a little nervous about it. If you have lessons learned or tips to share, I would so appreciate it! I’ve ordered SkinTak wipes and over patches to help secure sensor, but I’m also worried about possible skin irritation. After having the ekg sensors stuck to me for four days in the hospital, I had an itchy sore rash where each sensor was located on my chest and abdomen. Hoping that less sensitive skin on back of arm won’t be a problem. I’m also a little concerned about all the injection site rotation I’m attempting to manage - between the cgm, insulin and Mounjaro, I running out of places. So, again, total newbie here. All advice appreciated!

I’ve been off lexapro now for 2 weeks and still dealing with sore legs (every so often) but not as much as before. Like just aching legs and like I ran a marathon - which I obvi haven’t lol. Sometimes hurts when walking and aching muscles. And like crawling feeling in legs … not all the time but sometimes. I guess I could be still withdrawling.
Please tell me I’m not crazy !! Lol

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1/22/2048 (military calendar)
Campsite, the former Confederacy of Daru'uie
Nevali Region, Aldrida, Alagore


*****


Looking past the dark horizon of the valley below, all that was seen were the crisp peaks and ridges of the Torness mighty mountains. Above the heights was the final shine of the father of all light, the yellow sun god known as Dorash. It almost seemed like his gaze was taking one last peek at the skirt of Alagore mountain peaks before finally fading to rest.
As the sun fell below the distant mountain peaks, a robust and crisp breeze swept through the valley below, bringing a sudden chill. As expected, the darkness came and got the freezing mountain cold. Everything became pitched black as the only light source came from the starlight flickering high above the dark void. That was until a new light from the campfires illuminated the camp, only so slightly not to be discovered.
The half-elf girl Fraeya Holiadon was not used to this type of cold. Being a forest noble elf who grew up in the warmth of cities, she quickly grabbed her black-white pattern cloak and pulled tightly to remain as warm as possible.
She took a long breath from the thin, chilly air and stared into the massive valley below—forests, lakes, and, in the distance, a glimpse of lights from a nearby town. Everything looked natural and wild, where civilization had struggled to conquer. A sight she rarely saw outside the city walls. She found the scenery incredible. Worth the hellish adventurer across the Torness Mountain Range.
"Stay away from the edge," a Lat said. "We don't want to be spotted."
"Alright," Fraeya replied. She looked at the Lat, surprised at how he stood, defiant of the thin air and freezing temperature. "Are you not cold?"
"Of course, I am," the last warrior said as he returned to the camp. "Living away from civilization, you grow used to such conditions."
As the soldier left, she looked at the valley one last time before heading back toward the camp.
Fraeya saw nearly a hundred soldiers huddling their campfires for warmth, gathering supplies, or standing watch within the camp. They are known as the Palatini of Orias, one of the many Republic elite units within the legionary. They were hand-picked by the Legate for this mission.
As the young girl walked past the palatini, she could see the exhaustion from their mannerisms. Many looked hungry; others tired with dark, deep black bags under their eyes. Others shaking as their bodies adjusted to the night. To her confusion, she also could see the determination within their eyes as the environment was just an annoyance toward their objective.
She wouldn't blame them for their exhaustion as she could feel most of her body sore from the non-stop marching and climbing, she had to endure to get to this point. Something that her professors left out of their classes. A part of her couldn't help but chuckle from how she once thought after graduation from the academy that she was ready to face the challenges of their world. Only now did she understand how little schooling prepared her for the real world.
"What is so funny?" Another Lat said as she passed.
When she turned to the man, she felt a slim nerve of fear that ran through her body, believing that she might have insulted them. While most of them accepted her within the platini, she could tell they saw her as a weakling over a comrade. "I am sorry. I meant no insult. I was remembering my time at the academy."
The man turned back to his friend, commenting on her inexperience.
Fraeya felt sad as this was not her first failed interaction. For the better part of a week, Orias had escorted her and her father across some of the roughest terrains on Aldrida, taking great lengths to avoid enemy forces as their orders were to keep the two elves protected at all cost. As many men had stated, it was a near miracle that they made it this far without being noticed.
From what she understood, the commanding centurion hoped to reach the base of the mountain they were on by tonight. Such delays had become the norm; they had to delay their travels because of enemy patrols. They were hiding for hours because of J'avias' patrols from one of the nearby City-States. As they adventured deeper behind enemy-occupied territory, she expected this problem to worsen.
While the Hispana Republic's detachment for the expedition could have defeated them, the legionnaire leader, Centurion Fionntan Henness, did not want to risk exposing their unit to the enemy. He feared that if the J'avias or one of their puppet races could pass a message to the Unity's regional vassal, the Verliance Aristocracy, their mission would fail, and their last hope for victory would vanish. His superiors had invested in this last-ditch effort to turn the tide of the war to risk it on a small skirmisher with fewer soldiers.
Between the dozen campfires and the dark but illuminated sky lit by their mother Tekali, this side of the mountain range had perfectly trapped the cold air, something that Fraeya Holiadon was struggling to adapt to. As a Noble Elf, she was used to the warmth of the forest and the benefits of civilization from the continent's western side. Not the chill of the alpine.
Hearing a loud howl that echoed through the mountains, clearing coming from another party elsewhere within the area, Fraeya noticed her ride panicking. She quickly rushed over and slowly approached the beast once she got close.
"There, there," Fraeya whispered to her Deerip, a four-legged beast with three horns, light brown long hair fur, and red hoofs.
Noticing that these lands unsettled the beast, a feeling she could relate to, she rubbed the side of the Derrip's neck. Slowly and calmly whispering a song to it as the beast to calm down.
Once the beast was calm, Fraeya reached into her backpack and pulled out a bundle of grass to feed it. "I understand how you feel. This place leaves an unsettling chill down my spine, too. But you need to stay calm."
"If your beast is going to cause trouble, it will be wise to let it free," Henness said as he approached.
Looking at the centurion, Fraeya replied, "he is just startled. Deerips do not usually travel these lands. He needs to get used to being here."
Henness reached into his bag, pulling out a dark red amulet. He then tossed it into a fire pit. One of the other soldiers, a pyromancy battle mage, approached the hole and ignited it with a low-level fire spell. Unlike most red and orange flames, this fire was blackish purple, a type of flame known as dark fire by the commoners.
"Half-Elf, it took us over a week to get here through this dangerous path. These mountains are very unforgiving to wandering passengers, even to the Legion. We are deep behind enemy lines with no support. If Kallam vassals discover us, we will be slaughtered without mercy."
"That is if we are lucky," a Lat said as he sat beside the Dark Fire. "I heard stories of what happens to the prisoners that are handed over to them. I wouldn't subject my worst enemy to such a fate. Especially if a little girl got us caught."
Feeling frustrated and hearing the disrespect from the man's tone, she wanted to march over and warn Henness. While Lats could be civil and possess a strong warrior spirit, she is always surprised by how stubborn they could be.
"What is your issue, Lat? Fraeya asked. "I understand the risks. My father has been studying for this mission longer than you have been alive. I know what is at stake. This legend is our only hope in stopping them."
"Hope?" Henness asked while being unfazed by the young elf's aggressiveness. "The only reason the Legate sponsored this insane mission was that your father already got funds from a Kitsune archivist guild with a questionable reputation. They wanted to eliminate your father to focus on winning the war. They cannot afford to chase fairytales from time immemorial."
"Insane mission?" Fraeya boldly stated. "This quest is not insane, you…, damn Lat! It is the answer! We all know we cannot win the war. They are just too strong. I cannot believe how you, of all people, your kind, should believe in this."
"It is a fool's quest, Fraeya," Henness replied calmly, showing his military discipline. "Look at what we are doing." Allowing himself to collect his thoughts, he sat by the Dark Fire. "We are looking for an ancient relic, a Lat-Orc folktale that allows you to travel to another world. Hundreds of sages like your father have looked for this and other relics over the centuries. Even your father was proven wrong on this subject. There is a reason why the Guilds and his own people disowned his research."
The legend of an ancient relic from a lost age was an everyday fairytale throughout the continent of Aldrida. A Bridge that connected Alagore to the world known as Altaerrie. Her father discovered that each species and civilization had their own version of the legend over the millenniums. While the tales had many different versions, they all had the core idea - that all life was brought here by the Goddess Tekali.
In this quest to validate the legend, her father, Raegel Holiadon, dedicated his life to validating the myth and the truth of their people's past. While she did not know why her father was so passionate about searching for this truth, she knew that he believed it was the most crucial mystery of Alagore.
Considered a joke from the magical and sage guilds, Fraeya's father, Raegel Holiadon, was forced to conduct his research in isolation. Dozens of sages before him have searched for the truth and failed, falling into the same ousted fake from civilization. No one believed that this time would be any different. Because of his tenacity, he was banished to the fringes of the world to prove his theories. It was not until the Unity invaded Aldrida that he brought renewed interest to his work, not because of recent discoveries or because they suddenly believed in the legend but out of desperation to survive.
"It is different this time," Fraeya said. "If we could tale the sphere and-."
Henness cut Fraeya off, saying, "I am too tired to debate this right now. All that matters is that my Palatini was ordered to escort your party through these lands. I and the rest of my people will follow those orders to the end; I guarantee that. You shall not have to worry about our duty. I just hope this fool quest does not result in the death of my men."
Fraeya felt a deep urge to defend her father's work. As she approached, a Noble Elf stopped her, her father.
"Do not let your emotions get out of control," Raegel said.
"He called me a Half-Elf," Fraeya frustratedly replied. "And he insults my Deerip and questions your life's work."
"I know, I know, now let it go," Raegel said as he calmed his daughter. "It has been a long journey for all of us. Everyone is tired and is on nerve. Do not let an off comment grow into a wild vine."
She was hearing the wisdom from her father; she took a deep breath to calm her nerves, placing her hands together to relieve stress. The journey was long after leaving the great Hispana fortress of Nervia Glevensium. Unable to take the main highway between regions, crossing the Alps was the only way. Bypassing many Unity air patrols, Cities that pledge loyalty toward Kallem, and rouge monster hordes, she realized that her father was correct. "Okay, Father."
Seeing the warm smile from Fraeya's father, she followed him to their tent. Once settled, she wrapped herself in a blanket and sat by the fire.
She watched her father place one of those dark red amulets into a fire pit; that same battle mage shortly approached and activated it with the same low-level spell, igniting the amulet into Dark Fire. Unlike the natural red fire or the other magical types like green and blue, dark fire is used by soldiers and travelers to provide a heat source at night without attracting unwelcome guests. According to the sages, Dark Fire does not illuminate as brightly, so heat-seeking creatures and constructs cannot see the flames from distances. Perfect for behind-enemy-lines missions like this. However, it provided some warmth but could never match the red flame's natural heat.
Finally feeling some warmth, or at least as Fraeya's body wanted to believe, she turned to her father and asked, "Do you think this time it will work? Can we find this Bridge?"
"I know we will," Raegel replied as he checked their supplies. "I know that Lats can be a handful, trust me. I have been around them since my exile, but Henness is correct to be skeptical. You must understand normally that only a fool would undertake such a mission. A fool that I proved to be once or twice in my lifetime." He said with some laughter. Seeing a smile from his daughter, he continued, "But this time, it will be different."
Holding the blanket tight, Fraeya shook her head. "I don't understand, though. It is their people's legend, their story. Why wouldn't they be supportive of our mission? Especially if it is our last hope to stop the Unity."
"I am not a military man," Raegel said. "I never learned the art of war but put yourself in his boots. While you were at the academy and I conducted my research, these men have been fighting this war. Imagine all the battles, all the deaths of fallen brothers that they have witnessed time and time again. Last hopes are poison for soldiers, who have lost no matter what they do. It is their fault that the war has gone this badly, or at least I assume that is how they feel."
"But the legends," Fraeya stated again.
"Soldiers do not wage war based on legends," Raegel said. "While we believe in the legend, that does not mean they do. Thousands of years have passed and that is why they call them legends in the first place, my dear. Think about all our fellow elves' tales we have, and how many of our kind believe in them?"
Reflecting on what her father had said, she knew her people had many stories. Being one of the oldest civilizations on Aldrida, they have stories relating to dozens of topics, returning to orlilla. One of her favorite legends was how her kind were once flowers that sprouted legs. Some say that this was why the Noble race was so beautiful.
"You think that orb you found is the key to everything?" Fraeya said.
"I do," Raegel said. "Everything I have invested in up to this point has pointed to this moment. Whoever hid the Bridge did so to never be discovered by anyone. They hide it with magic beyond our means. That is why no one has ever found any trace of it. They were missing one piece of the puzzle, that orb."
Thrilled to see her father excited again, Fraeya cannot wait to see his dream finally coming to life. After all these decades of researching and traveling across the world to search for any clue, he eventually will be able to prove his life work was correct. He had toured Alagore for centuries, looking for clues, relics, ruins, and anything from the old era. A life work proved worthwhile.
As Fraeya stared at the Dark Fire, she asked, "What do you think this other world will be like?"
“I have no idea,” Raegel said. "I believe that this other world will be like ours. If the historical archives at Allsari and stories of old are true, then it is the world of the Lats…, Altaerrie."
Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/1cxj8n5/as_astra_volume_0_prolog_chapter_1_part_2/

Credit to u/SpacePaladin15 for the NOP Universe.
Hey, I hope everyone's doing well!
Today we return to the namesake of this fic, an actual lesson about animals. This one focuses on Koalas! One of Australia's most recognisable critters. I hope you enjoy.
It's hardly worth mentioning, seeing as I'm an infrequent poster at the best of times, but I'll not have another chapter out for a few weeks due to limited free time and devoting most of my writing time to an upcoming ficnapping. Be sure to look out for that!
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Memory transcription subject: Rysel, Venlil Environmental Researcher
Date [Standardised human time]: 8th September 2136
“Koalas!”
Bernard’s energised voice boomed through the air as the classroom's monitor flickered into life, images of this paws lecture topic popping up one after the other until the entire screen was filled with a collage of furry quadrupeds.
Squee! I’ll never get tired of this, it’s all so cool!
As usual the sight of something new stirred immediate discussion, hushed murmurs swelling into vibrant discourse in little more than a heartbeat. Most of the class swiftly huddled together into small herds to bounce ideas around while the rest opted to stick to the solace of their own thoughts as they took in the display.
I’d be quite happy in either situation, though seeing as Sandi had already sunk into deep concentration and Kailo had peeled off to talk with Ennerif and Solenk, it seemed the decision had been made for me on this occasion. Wasting no more time on idle inspection of the people around me, I focused my full attention forward, eager to form first impressions before the lesson began in earnest.
Now then, time to make some educated guesses. What traits does this animal have? I wonder if I’ll get any right this paw?
Professional assumptions went paw-in-paw with the lectures, examining and coming up with hypotheses about the specimens was only natural. Recently however, I’d started to make a little game of it to make things even more interesting than usual. A veritable bonfire of ideas had been set ablaze within me, fueled by my newfound knowledge of Earthen wildlife. Every flash and spark of the flame was a fresh theory I could try to apply to the lectures. It was an invigorating exercise that further stoked my unceasing wonderment.
So far I’d only done this once during the previous class and, to my disappointment, I’d not done too well.
I was right when I guessed that chickens were omnivores, but wrong in my assumption that they could fly. And that red thing on their head, the um… what was it called? The comb! Yes, the comb. I thought that was to attract mates, but it regulates body heat instead. It’s fascinating. Oh! Stars damn it I’m rambling!
I bapped my tail against my leg, the soft thud being just enough to snap me back from my runaway thoughts before I went completely wall-eyed. I was becoming more and more accustomed to getting lost in my own head while remaining conscious of the fact; it was happening so frequently now that it was pretty much impossible not to. Now I was able to pull myself back to the world around me without having to rely on someone else shaking me out of it. Most of the time anyway.
Sandi still keeps an eye on me, and Kailo even decided to help out once without being too snide about it. Anyway where was I? Oh yeah, Koalas.
Glancing at the furred animals, two things immediately stood out. Firstly, their eyes were in a more central position on their face. And second, all the images showed them being on or close to trees. There were other noteworthy observations of course, such as the Koala’s prominent nose and rounded features, but they fell to the wayside as I honed in on these points first.
Hmmm… ok. I already know to discount the idea that they’re predators just from eye position, so let’s get that thought out of here. Maybe omnivorous? Herbivore? Agh no, I can’t just guess that for the sake of guessing, that’s the same problem! Hrm, it’s tough making these assumptions now that everything I thought I knew has been turned on its head.
Nevermind, I’ll focus on the other thing. All the trees make me think they’re arboreal, that seems to be a reasonable assumption. I wonder what else they-
Clearing his throat, Bernard broke my concentration, his call for attention silencing the murmuring conversation and redirecting everyone's focus to the lecturer's podium.
His gaze panned across the room as he waited for everyone to settle, a beaming smile lighting up his face, “As ever I’m delighted to see you all get so into the subject matter from the get go. I’m looking forward to hearing what you were discussing should you wish to share. For now though, how about we get started, hm?”
A chorus of merry bleats rang out from across the audience, ears and tails flicking happily in agreement. Bernard's grin grew in tandem with the class's fervour, clasping his hands together enthusiastically as he launched into the lesson, “Excellent! Then let’s get started.”
The pictures on screen dissolved away until only one remained, enlarging to cover the entire monitor with the fluffy grey face of a Koala peacefully reclining in the crook of a tree.
“Ah, there we are,” Bernard’s baritone timbre drifted through the room as he looked up at the image, his own tone reflecting the relaxed attitude of the animal on screen, “He looks so comfortable doesn’t he? Perfectly at peace with the world, not too surprising considering they sleep almost 20 hours a day. A full paw!”
A wave of beeps and gasps rippled through the herd, punctuated by a single yawn-dressed comment from Rova, “A full paw? Hwuuu… jealous.”
Her drowsy remark elicited several whistling giggles from the herd, Bernard's own jovial chortle joining them as he turned to face her, “Late evening Rova?”
I twisted a little in my seat, panning an eye in Rova’s direction just in time to see her bleary eyes bulge open and her ears shoot up, now intensely aware of the fact she hadn’t been as quiet as she thought she had.
Sitting up abruptly, she hastily tapped down errant tufts of wool that’d flared in surprise as she composed herself, though her nervousness at becoming the centre of the class's attention was still plain for all to hear, “Uh- I um… achem, a little bit yes, um- …sorry. Lokki dragged me out to a movie viewing in the rec centre. It went on pretty late.”
A melodramatic bray from the other side of the room drew everyone's ears away from Rova to the now aghast Lokki, paw splayed across his chest in faux indignation, “Dragged you? Well excuse me for trying to broaden your horizons with human movies. That’ll be the list time I- …Ahaaaa…”
Lokki’s theatrics were cut short by a heavy yawn of his own, a swell of whistling laughter rolling through the herd as vibrant bloom lit up his snout, a sight that elicited a particularly amused bleat from Rova.
Turning away from the duo I looked back at Bernard, pleased to see that he was chuckling along with us. Behaviour like Lokki’s would never have been tolerated in my school and university days but, in stark contrast, Bernard revelled in it, the liveliness of his students fueling his own bombastic style of teaching. It was a pleasant change of pace having a teacher who let us all be ourselves in class; provided we weren’t too disruptive to the lesson plan.
Speaking of which.
His laughter still rumbling through the air, Bernard clapped his hands to pull everyone's focus back to him, “Ok, ok, let’s get back to it then shall we? Rova. Lokki. Hopefully the two of you can stay awake long enough until you can grab yourselves a coffee.”
As the class settled down and the last few giggling beeps petered out, Benard pointed a hand to the screen, “So, the Koala. Let’s start simple shall we? They are herbivorous marsupials native to the eastern and southern coasts of Australia. Easily recognised the world over, they are a well known and beloved symbol of their homeland, along with other animals such as the Kangaroo and the Emu. The former of which you might remember from one of our earlier lectures.”
Indeed I did remember, along with how angry Bernard had gotten after some speh-head had derided the Yotul after he explained how he held specific disdain for such attitudes.
Uuuggghh… I never want to see him angry again. So chilling.
I shook my ears in an effort to dismiss the unpleasant memory, panning my eyes back to the monitor to try and distract myself by inspecting the Koala’s physical appearance once more. Thankfully, by some Star's blessed intervention, Bernard had the exact same idea.
“Koala’s are rather squat in stature, ranging around sixty to eighty-five centimetres in length and weighing little more than fifteen to sixteen kilograms at their full size. As you can see, the fur of this fellow before you is a lovely silvery grey, but their fur can also sport a chocolaty brown hue as well. Arguably the most distinctive part of their appearance is their head, being rather large for their body size and having rounded ears, a large nose, and a pair of small eyes. These are often brown but variations do occur.”
It didn’t slip past my notice that Bernard didn’t bother to point out that the Koala’s eyes were forward facing. I didn’t think he’d simply forgotten, so perhaps he just felt it wasn’t necessary given that he’d already stated it was herbivorous. Either way, no one stuck up a paw or tail to question him.
“Now this will hardly be surprising considering how long they sleep, but Koala’s are largely sedentary and it’s rather easy to see why when you have a look into the contents of their diet.”
With the press of a button the Koala on screen was replaced by images of vibrant green vegetation. Soaring trees and flowering shrubbery weaved together across landscape framed pictures pulled admiring trills from the herd, the diversity of the plant life being shown standing as a reminder that it wasn’t only animal life that flourished on Earth.
After giving everyone the chance to take in the picturesque scenes, Bernard casually hammered that point home, “This is eucalyptus or, more accurately, a choice selection of more than 700 plants belonging to the eucalyptus genus, though the Koala itself favours 30 of them in particular.”
700!? Stars…
Realising that my ears had drooped in my momentary awe, I twisted them back to tune into the lesson, only for them to splay out in shock at the next words to come out of Bernard's mouth.
“The leaves of these plants are the primary food source of the Koala and there are a couple things worth mentioning when talking about these plants. For starters they do not have much nutritional or caloric value, leading to the Koala’s low-energy lifestyle. Additionally, they contain toxic compounds.”
A shiver instantly ran through the herd, ears flicking rapidly in confusion and alarm followed by a few quizzical whispers. It didn’t take long for someone to decide to give a proper voice to the murmuring.
“Excuse me Doctor. Did we hear that right? Their diet is made up of toxic flora?” Vlek’s grumbling incredulity cut through the herd's mutterings with ease. Until Kailo’s recent change of heart, the fifty something rotation old blonde Venlil had been a close second in terms of scepticism. Mercifully his rebuttals had always been relevant questions as opposed to ranting diatribes, so he at least remained on topic if nothing else.
Bernard nodded in confirmation, smiling back at Vlek while absentmindedly twirling the end of his moustache, “You heard me right, they do indeed consume plants that are toxic. Just not to them.”
Any worry or uncertainty still clinging to the herd was swept away by the provision of the glaringly obvious answer, leaving me chuckling inwardly at the oversight.
Ah of course! The plant might be poisonous but they’ll have evolved to deal with that. Stars… I’m so used to expecting the unexpected with Earth that I didn’t even consider the simplest solution.
“I see, thank you Doctor,” Vlek replied, a tinge of interest still audible in his tone, “I assume they’ve developed some adaptation to become immune to the harmful effects?”
The question immediately evoked a smirk from our teacher, but he hurriedly suppressed it while bobbing his head, “They have indeed. There are several factors that aid in their digestion of eucalyptus leaves without succumbing to the plant's baleful properties. The first is a part of the intestinal tract called the cecum. It contains a microbiome that allows the Koala to digest the eucalyptus. Coupled with this is an enzyme in the Koala’s liver that helps them break down the toxins. They are also capable of sniffing out the plants with the least amount of toxins, ensuring that they ingest as little as possible.”
Pausing for a breath Bernard looked back at the screen before turning to face us, another grin curling at the edges of his mouth as he continued with his explanation, “This is mostly for adult Koala’s, because while their young also possess these same adaptations, they don’t just go straight to munching through foliage right after being born. No, they need a little help making that jump and getting a stomach full of all that good gut bacteria. It’s nothing bad, but those of a sensitive stomach may wish to prepare themselves for this next part.”
Bernard’s assurances did little to assuage the concern that his warning had foisted upon us. Having been exposed to so much of the weirdness Earth had to offer everyone always ended up on edge whenever Bernard gave advice like this, even if he did say it in jest.
What strange nonsense thing do Koala pups do then? Judging by the way he’s acting it probably isn’t something as simple as drinking milk from the mother. Hmmm…
“So,” Bernard began, snapping us from our pensive stupor, “Young Koala’s, known as joeys, have a gestation period of thirty-five days on average, which is approximately forty-two paws. Once born they travel from the birth canal to a pouch in their mother so that they can continue to develop and grow. In the pouch the joey finds and latches onto one of two teats and these provide the newborn with a steady stream of nourishing milk. It spends the next six to seven months growing in the pouch, its eyes, ears, and fur all developing as time goes on.”
Okay, interesting. But this is exactly how I thought it’d go. What’s different?
The unexpected normalcy of the Koala’s birth and growth cycle had calmed everyone's nerves, only to be replaced with an air of suspicion as we waited with rapt attention for Bernard to drop the other claw and upend our expectations like he always did.
Not wanting to keep us in further suspense he forged ahead, the tempo of his voice picking up as the smile started to crease his face once more, “Now to make the switch from milk to eucalyptus, the mother also feeds the joey a substance called pap. It comes from the cecum I mentioned earlier, and contains all the gut bacteria required to help the young Koala in making the switch to eucalyptus.”
He stopped and looked around, searching us for a reaction to what I felt was a rather bland statement of fact. What was it he was saying without actually saying? Koala pups drink milk to mature and then include this pap substance so that they can start eating plants. I don’t see what-
The cecum is part of the intestine.
I blinked.
I blinked again, the intrusive interruption scouring my brain clean of any other thought bar the one it’d just implanted itself in the forefront of my mind.
Oh stars. They-
“They eat their own poop!?”
The shocked bleat shattered the peace of the room to reveal that most if not all of us had come to the same tail curling conclusion. As the hall filled with unrestrained vocalisations of disgust, an ‘Ugh’ over here and a ‘Blegh’ over there, Bernard’s own bellowing laughter joined the throng of voices.
“Ha! Everytime! Each and every time. Clearly it doesn’t matter if my students are Human or Venlil. Whenever someone learns about the Koala’s dietary development the reaction is the same!”
Pleased with himself beyond reason, Bernard chuckled away while the rest of us grappled with this ghastly reality. While there were plenty of animals that feasted on things that ranged from simply unappealing all the way to the stomach churningly grotesque, I’d never heard of an animal that actively consumed the excrement of its own species. Benefits aside, the prospect of having to do that to survive to adulthood sent a shiver of revulsion down my spine.
Ewww… Stars, I hope I forget this feeling by 2nd meal. They’re serving sturen and magamroot stew later. I was really looking forward to it.
With the herds mood beginning to temper Bernard tapped the podiums controls, removing the verdant collage of eucalyptus to display several similar yet distinct environments, still chortling merrily to himself in the process, “Ok then, with that little foray into their diet complete, why don’t we look at their habitat in more detail? As you might imagine given their diet and arboreal nature, Koala’s live in forested regions, and can be found in tropical and temperate zones. About a century ago they were classed as a vulnerable species, however efforts were made to turn this around and increase their numbers. Sadly the largest factor in their decline was human activity, as the fertile lands that gave rise to their bountiful forests were coveted farm land for our settlements.”
It was strange to hear Bernard so matter of factly admit to humanity's negative impacts on other species. He’d alluded to such things in the past but always with an air of caution, carefully pawing the line between honestly answering a question while not painting humanity as uncaring and destructive. AKA, the ‘predators’ we’d all initially expected them to be.
Perhaps his comfort in making such admissions was a reflection of the class's comfort with him, for no one so much as batted an ear. Even Kailo, who I would’ve expected to jump at the chance to use this as a prime example of predatory danger, only flicked an ear in stern yet silent concern.
A cough from Bernard drew my attention back, a new picture on screen that showed a forest from a bird's-eye view. Drawn across the image were around a dozen ringed areas, some bordering one another while others overlapped to some degree. It took me a moment, but I soon recognised that what I was looking at was a map, the rings representing what I assumed to be territories. And it didn’t take much effort to guess who each one belonged to.
“From habitats we move onto behaviours, so let’s start with territories. Koala’s are solitary animals. Yes, despite being herbivores. Considering they’re only awake for roughly four hours of the day I can hardly blame them. Lots to do and not a lot of time to do it. Jokes aside, once they mature they are quite independent, carving out a little slice of land for themselves, as displayed in this example, called a Home Range. That is not to say they go it alone and leave everything else behind however. Rather, as shown in the map behind me, they live in their own space while still being part of a larger social group.”
With another press of his pad the picture was updated to show one of two symbols in each segment, along with a key to the side of the map displayed in helpful Venlang. A quick glance told me that the symbols were representing whether the territory belonged to a male or female of the species.
“As you can see there is quite a bit of overlap between different Koala’s territories. It is in these areas that most of the socialising takes place between neighbours. The trees in these locations represent the few areas where intrusion across territories is acceptable for the sake of social interaction. Outside of that the Koala’s stick to their own territories for the most part, with the exceptions of Koala’s who are passing through, attempting to become part of the social group themselves, or dominant males who sometimes go off into another Koala’s range. But how do they know where one range begins and another range ends you might ask? Well, this brings us onto the next part of the lecture. How do Koala’s communicate?”
Wiping away the map from the monitor, Bernard loaded up a video of a Koala sitting in a tree and pressed play. Head held high, the Koala’s body shook as it belted out a reverberating call into the wilderness that could only be described as a garbled combination of a car engine failing to turn over mixed with the hiccups of someone with a particularly sore throat.
That’s how they sound? Oof that must be rough on the lungs.
I clearly wasn’t the only one to share such a thought, because I clocked Sandi tracing a paw along her neck as the noise went on, ears fluttering in discomfort at the noise.
Bernard himself cleared his own throat as the video came to an end, minimising it and replacing it with another image of a tree with a Koala rubbing up against the bark, “I think they’ve got me beat on who’s got the deeper voice!”
His joke garnered several amused beeps, a rare reaction that caused a beaming smile to shine across his face at lighting speed, “Oh you’re too kind. I’ll be here all week. Now where were we? Oh yes! Communication. As you’ve just heard, Koala’s are capable of loud low pitched bellows that can carry over vast distances. These express everything from ‘Hello I’m over here’ to ‘This is my turf, stay away’. Bellowing is more common in the males than the females, opting for shouting matches as opposed to outright fights when it comes to asserting dominance. Other vocal expressions include grunts, wails, and snarls if they’re acting particularly angsty. Mother and joey pairs also communicate through gentle clicking, squeaking, and murmuring sounds. And there’s one more thing worth mentioning. Something they have in common with Humans and Venlil when it comes to emoting.”
Really? They do something we do?
Curious, I pressed myself against the desk, straining as close as I could to once more scrutinise the Koala’s features. Not a lot stood out to me at first, the grey marsupial not sharing many similarities with a Venlil that I could identify.
Ok think. We show emotion with our ears, tails, and our wool on occasion. They don’t have tails so it’s obviously not that. Wool standing on end is more a reaction than a conscious expression. So it must be the ears then.
To my quiet satisfaction, my hunch was soon validated by Bernard, “As well as their vocalisations, Koala’s are very emotive through their facial features. Just like humans, they use their mouths and lips to show how they feel, but these tend more towards the aggressive side of the scale than what you might see on a human. Regarding yourselves however, Koala’s utilise their ears in tandem with their mouth movements when showing strong emotion.”
I was delighted to hear that my assumption was correct, a little happy flick twisting out through my tail and bapping against my chair with a muted thump against the plastic.
Hehe yes! Got one right!
“Now then, we are getting close to lunchtime so I’ll finish this segment off with something I think you’ll find particularly interesting. Diplomacy.”
Perplexed mutterings followed in the wake of the bizarre inclusion to the lecture, my own thoughts being dominated by bewilderment as I tried and failed to make sense of how the two could possibly be related.
Why would Koala’s, or any animal for that matter, be linked to diplomacy? Hmmm...
I could understand dispatching exterminators to deal with a predator issue as a show of goodwill, that at least includes animals, but Humans aren’t like that so I think I can safely scratch that off the list.
Maybe the humans who live in that region benefited from Koala’s in some way. Could they have gotten something from them? But what?
Hopefully not what the pups get from their mothers.
Agh no! Begone awful intrusive thoughts. Blegh! I don’t need that in my head.
As I wrestled with the short-lived revulsion inflicted upon me by my Star's damned subconscious, Bernard placed a new image on screen, one that was decidedly different from all that had preceded it.
On screen were more than a couple dozen pictures of humans. Some were pictured alone while others congregated in large groups while cameras surrounded them from all angles. Across all the images, I noted two common themes. First of all, a solid majority of the humans were wearing formal wear similar to what I’d seen worn by UN representatives on TV. If the gaggle of journalists in the background of the photos didn’t already confirm my suspicions, then it was this similarity which made me conclude they were all people of some importance. Likely politicians judging from context clues.
Secondly, each of the individuals was interacting with a Koala in some form. Some cradled one against their chests while others were feeding it eucalyptus leaves or pellets of some kind. One of the assumed politicians had become an impromptu bed for a snoozing bundle of fur, a gleeful smile spread across their face as they lovingly gazed down at the sleeping Koala in their lap.
As I continued to stare at the assorted photos something clicked into place, a sudden spark flickering into life. A burgeoning light of comprehension that flared and swelled with every wide-eyed breath I took. Some things still escaped me, things I hoped would soon be explained, but in staring at all of the humans happy smiling faces, I was struck with an instant of pure understanding.
If someone, say a Nevok for instance, offered to gift me a creature that was common to them but which might exotic and breathtaking to a Venlil, how could my feelings not be swayed? How could I walk away from that encounter and not have grown closer to them as a result?
“Koala diplomacy,” Bernard waved his hand up at the monitor, a slight reverence in his tone, “My favourite kind of soft power diplomacy. Where political leaders take photo ops with Koala’s and, on occasion, the Australian government loans Koala’s to other nations for a time to bolster positive relations. It certainly helps that Koala’s are a beloved animal worldwide, drawing large crowds and revenue for countries fortunate enough to host the adorable critters.”
The truly alien concept predictably sparked instant discussion in the herd, two polar opposite schools of thought swiftly cementing themselves as the most popular opinions. Simultaneously, I heard one voice trill excitedly while another scoffed at what they clearly saw as a ridiculous and offensive notion.
“Squee! That’d be so cool! I’d love to get the chance to see a Liri from Coila. Remember the Rainbow Boa? Think of that shimmering effect and colour but put it on a bird! Ah! I’ve only heard their song on video. It’d be a treat to hear it in person!”
Ooo! I’ve read about them! I’d love to get up close to one.
“Loaning. As if animals are property to be hoarded and traded? Pugh! Another predatory trait the humans don’t want to acknowledge for what it is.”
Ugh, typical. Jump right to the worst possible option.
However, despite my dismissal of their disparaging fumings, an uncomfortable thought pressed upon my mind. While it was plain to see how much humans cared for the Koala, it didn’t change the fact that humans did keep animals as property just as the scornful herd member had said.
This begged a rather important, disquieting question. Aside from keeping some animals as cattle, a stomach tightening minefield I had no desire to step a claw onto right now, how else did humans keep other creatures. And how did they treat them?
Before I was fully conscious of doing it my paw was in the air, the question primed on my tongue.
Noticing my elevated paw Bernard pointed at me, smiling warmly, “Yes Rysel? What’s on your mind?”
Sorry Bernard. I hope this one’s not too awkward for you to answer.
Flicking my ear in appreciation, and waiting for everyone to settle enough so that I could be heard, I voiced my concerns as neutrally as possible, “Thank you Doctor. I uh, just had a thought. We know that humans keep certain animals for… particular reasons, and we know why. From how you’ve spoken about Koala’s I think it's fair to say that the same cannot be said for them. However, this makes me wonder, what other reasons do humans have for keeping animals and how do you treat them?”
A flash of surprise blinked across Bernard's eyes but vanished so quickly that it felt like I’d imagined it. Had he not expected such a question? Maybe he was just shocked that it’d been me who’d ended up asking it?
Stars, am I so predictable that no one expects me to ask difficult questions?
Unfortunately, a quick glance at my deskmates seemed to prove that to be the case, as both Sandi and Kailo were looking at me with differing degrees of astonishment flapping in their ears.
Well speh.
“A very good point Rysel, certainly one that’s worth raising. Yet another example of you all anticipating what I have to say before I can bring it up myself.” Bernard tapped the podium, switching off the monitor before returning his focus to me, “We won’t be needing that. I’ve nothing prepared that I can show you and we’re heading to lunch in a few minutes anyway. Still, that’s plenty of time to give you a bit of an answer.”
A bit? What does he mean just a bit?
Made even more curious by Bernard's preempted admission that he wasn’t going to fully answer my query, I dialled both my ears on him, fixing him with an inquisitive stare as he started to explain with a tone that was noticeably more nonchalant than any of his previous explanations.
“So, animals in captivity for reasons other than what you already know. Honestly I would love to delve into other reasons regarding why we keep animals. However, I have a lesson plan in the works that I hope to share with you all in the not too distant future. Some of it touches upon this very topic and I’d quite like to bundle it all together. That said, I can tell you how animals in captivity are treated. In short, the answer is very well. There are a mountain of laws both on private and public interests that govern the standards and ethical treatment of animals, and breaches of these laws are quite severe even for relatively minor infractions.”
While I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed by the vague answer to what was really the bulk of my question, I was at least satisfied by Bernard’s assurances that animals in captivity, such as the Koala, were well looked after. Considering the barely subdued grumbling coming from some corners of the audience it was clear that several of the herd didn’t believe Bernard outright, but I trusted him to be honest. Additionally, the mention of an upcoming lecture focused on humans keeping animals caused quite the buzz.
I felt a mix of excitement and trepidation at exploring the topic further. He’d pretty much confirmed we wouldn’t be talking about cattle farms, for which I was relieved, but that still left a huge amount of uncertainty in what was to come.
Humans keeping animals as cattle was a forgone conclusion. As horrifying as that reality was, it was one I could understand from a detached and strictly clinical point of view. Being predators they ate meat and therefore they kept cattle. But the concept of keeping animals for any other reason baffled me.
What could be the purpose? The diplomacy thing makes sense now that I have context, but what other reasons could they have.
The class's discussions were interrupted by the recognisable ring of the break bell, the shift in attention eliciting a change in conversation from confused hypotheses to peppy conversation on how everyone was planning to spend their break and what they had in mind for 2nd meal.
“Well I can see everyone’s excited for lunch, and who am I to disappoint,” chuckling Bernard waved us all up from our seats, pocketing his pad from the podium and heading to open the classroom door for us, “Enjoy your break, get a good rest along with a hearty meal, and I’ll see you all back here at the usual time.”
As everyone else filed out I stayed behind, waving at Sandi and Kailo as they left, and pawing over to Bernard once he and I were the only ones left in the room.
Ears folded down and with an apologetic tinge in my voice I greeted him as I sidled up to him, “Hey Bernard, I uh… sorry if that last question was unexpected.”
Chortling in reply, Bernard waved a hand through the air in a sign I’d come to understand meant ‘not a problem’.
“No need to apologise Rysel. It was a good question and most certainly not a problem.”
Heh, called it.
I sighed, allowing tension I didn’t realise I’d been holding to relax itself from my shoulders, “Phew, that’s a relief. I’m glad. I’m curious to hear what this new lesson is you’ve got in store for us by the way.”
Bernard wagged a finger at me, throwing up his eyebrows in mock amazement, “Oh are you now? Well I’m afraid you’ll have to remain curious for the time being. It’s going to be quite the surprise if all goes to plan. But…”
He trailed off, glancing at me before looking to the door like he was making sure no one else was around.
Wait, is he going to tell me? Oh please yes let me know now!
Stopping myself from jumping on the spot in excited anticipation, and trying my damndest to stop my tail from wagging in equal measure, I stared up at Bernard as he stewed in his thoughts before turning back to face me.
“I can’t tell you the specifics, but I’m working with Alejandro and Tolim to get something together. A trip that’s not a trip as it were. And when it happens, I’m going to need a few of the more accepting members of the class to lend me a hand. I’m hoping you and a couple others will be able to help with that?”
A trip that’s not a trip? What does that mean? Agh who cares about that right now! Bernard’s relying on me to help out!
Still trying not to keep myself from bouncing around with pup like glee I swished my tail and nodded my head in joint agreement, happy to help with whatever Bernard had in store for us, “Of course! Anything you need I’ll be there to lend a paw. You can count on me!”
A broad warm smile lit up Bernard's face, a hand patting me on the shoulder in appreciation, “Thank you Rysel. I knew I could rely on you but it still warms my heart to hear it. And, as thanks for this and for the many times you’ve shown your support, the surprise includes a little something special I think you’d appreciate the most.”
If my earlier enthusiasm had been at a nine, then the implication of a supposed gift sent it rocketing all the way to a hundred in a heartbeat.
“Wait… WHAT!? What do you mean? What are you doing?”
As impossible as it seemed, Bernard's grin grew even wider as I almost lost myself in wool shaking exhilaration, “Call it my own form of Koala diplomacy. But I’m afraid that’s all I can say for now. Wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise even for you!”
“Oh you ass!” Whistling jovially I bapped my tail against Bernard’s leg in fake indignation, evoking a barking bellowing laugh from the man himself.
Still laughing, the two of us departed the class and made for the canteen, my rumbling stomach leading me on while my mind spun with fantastical thoughts as to what Bernard had prepared for us.
And what specifically he had in store for me.

I'm 33 I'm morbidly obese so I don't even have that hot/crazy thing going for me like some girls do, I have no friends, even though I'm on a debt management plan now my credit is fucked (I've got 2 CCJS) and because of this (and being revenge evicted) I'm living in a static caravan with my boyfriend and my cat with not a penny to my name, my boyfriend has ADHD and depression he's a gas engineer and plumber and is constantly in and out of work. I feel weirdly happy here sometimes, it's far away its in the woods I feel hidden from the world and safe from bailiffs but sometimes I miss having a private garden, being able to do my washing indoors, not having to interact with neighbours, living in a house that doesn't get freezing cold at night and boiling hot during the day. I've tried to make a go of things on Tumblr but I guess I don't click with gen zers on there so most of the time I get blocked or ignored for absolutely no reason 😕 I try to be friendly and not reblog things that sound OTT but I guess it doesnt work, this girl who was my sort of FP (who also has BPD) seems to hate me because she's convinced I made a blog that was similar to hers she's also been getting friendly with another girl who she equally didn't like who made a fan blog similar to hers yet she's completely blanking me the whole thing feels sooooo school yard tbh.
My family can't be bothered to see each other and they're not especially close they're all alcoholic narcissists, me and my sister sort of get on but despite her being my carer and getting money for it she's sort of pulled the rug out from under me the last couple of years to focus on writing and making candles as well as furthering her popularity on social media and I can't help but feel a bit sore over it I guess like for example tomorrow I really needed to see the doctor to talk about my weight and my facial hair (I suspect I have PCOS) as well as discussing the possibility of going on better medication but I can't get there because I don't drive and I live literally 20 mins away from everything even a supermarket so I can't even get a bus.
I've been trying to focus on making my caravan nice and wanting to do computer art of pictures of me and my boyfriend of all the festivals and holidays we've been to but everytime I look at these pictures of me I feel so depressed at how much I hate the way I look 😭. I feel angry that I tried to keep my living situation a secret for months and that I had to carry it round in my chest until my niece let it slip that I went for a viewing at the caravan and I didn't tell them I was having to leave my 2 bedroom house cos my landlord wanted to sell it (he said he wanted to sell the place barely an hour after I complained about damp and mould and a silverfish infestation) my family think I've downsized and chosen to live out here but it's out of sheer desperation if I'm being honest.
I'm not really sure what else to say really.

Hi everybody, I was wondering if anybody had a similar experience. All 4 wisdom teeth were removed last year and especially my lower right extraction has been really slow to heal. It has been 10 months and the symptoms have been unchanged for most of this time.
The muscles inside of the cheek (one side only) and towards the back of the jaw (pterygoid muscles, I think) feel swollen and I can feel that they are hard and protrude further into the mouth than the other side. It is not overly painful but it is annoying and slightly sore all the time. No real trismus but I can't open it quite as wide as the other side of my jaw. There is a hard "bump" where the wisdom tooth used to be, which is also not the case on the other side.
I was just at the surgeon who did the extractions and had an...interesting experience where he claimed this is completely unrelated to the extraction. Supposedly, I grind my teeth and that is the reason (which he never mentioned before and my regular dentist denies is the case. I never had any problems like that before and it appeared directly after the extraction) As you can imagine, I don't really believe him.
I have an appointment with a different surgeon in 3 weeks but wanted to ask if anybody knows what it could be.

I'm just trying to get possibly another perspective on this situation. I don't want to call my doctor yet to discuss it unless I know it could be a serious problem.
I'm supposed to be 6 months on T by now. In reality I've only been ON T for 5 because a month ago my formula got back ordered at quite literally every pharmacy in my city(I called almost all of the ones google would show me to ask). After like a week of back and forth with pharmacies and with my doctor, I decided my best option would just be to go in and get switched to a different formula. After getting canceled on the first time, I went back about a week ago and got switched. So, after a month of being off T I finally got my refill 2 days ago and gave myself my shot in my right thigh.
Here's where the concerns come from: my thigh is now noticeably swollen on the side where I did the shot, and extremely tender to the touch. I'm not sure exactly what I did wrong. (i do .25 subq once/wk) I was having trouble holding the fat on my thigh when I did it (it's hot as tits where i live rn and my everything was covered in a thin layer of sweat). But I didn't think it was that bad, it still looked like I was holding enough and I managed to do the whole injection and keep my grip. Idk, I've had a nurse explain to me twice now how to do the shots and I swear on my soul I think I'm doing it exactly how it was shown to me every time I have a problem like this.
About 3 months in I actually already switched formulas. I started on cypionate, but switched to enanthate after discussing with my provider that I was having issues with redness and itchiness at injection sites. I explained to her how I had been doing the injections and I had just been doing them too high up on my thigh, but she decided to switch me anyone as a precaution. I've now just switched back from enanthate(out of stock everywhere) to cypionate(the injection i just gave myself the other day).
I genuinely don't know what I'm doing wrong at this point and I don't think I can mentally handle even one more week of having to be off my T while I jump through 89 hoops just to get treatment that works for me.
Idk it can also just be really discouraging. I have yet to have the process of my getting my T refilled go smoothly. There's always some kind of issue. I was euphoric for so long over the major changes I was seeing and that kind of just got stomped all over by the system intentionally designed to make this as hard as possible. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I don't really have a choice. I'm sure other trans people can relate. I have to get this treatment or it will mean very bad consequences for my mental state, if you catch my meaning. Giving up just because they want to make it as difficult as possible isn't an option.
But anyways, I'm just wondering if anybody might have some advice that might help me going forward with my shots. And if I should be worried about the current swelling and soreness.

29M. Posted here a couple times in the last few weeks. Current symptoms for the past 4 weeks.
• Tongue feels stiff at the base. Burning sensation at the tip of my tongue sometimes. I swear I’m slurring or on the verge of slurring, but no one has said anything. I focus on it all day long. I’m tongue thrusting I think. I find myself pushing on the back of my teeth. I drink/eat/swallow just fine so that’s helpful.
• Twitching in my calves, thighs, quads and biceps at rest.
• Shoulders/biceps seem to be sore quickly when I use them.
• Tired really quickly, like sleepy tired.
• I had some jaw tightness and pain a couple weeks ago but that went away for the most part.
Not sure if this sub is helping me or hurting me. I’m aware I’m hyperfocused and have some health anxiety going on, probably making it worse by reading on here all the time.
I haven’t gone to my PCP yet, and I don’t plan to right now. I went through a similar episode of body wide twitching and tongue stuff last year about this time, but it went away in about a month. My tongue stuff is different this time. I had twitching in my tongue last year (sounded like pop rocks). This year I haven’t noticed or heard any tongue twitching.
I think this all started when I was getting stressed at work, then I found out I was going to have a heart procedure to repair a PFO that’s scheduled for June, but hard to tell.
Figure this would’ve gone away by now so I’m looking for reassurance from anyone that has had some similar symptoms and how long it lasted for you. Thanks.