What is my oxycodone if it says 512 on the pill

The namesake of Isolde Itou

2024.05.21 13:23 SuperStingray The namesake of Isolde Itou

“The past and the future, considered apart from the consequences of their content, are empty as a dream, and the present is only the indivisible and unenduring boundary between them.” ― Arthur Schopenhauer, The World As Will And Idea
In Chapter 3, it's revealed by the medical records disk that Isa's name is shorthand for "Isolde." I wasn't familiar with this name, but I felt it was distinctive enough that there had to be some meaning behind it, so I did some digging.
One use of the name "Isolde" that caught my attention was that it is the name of a facility at CERN- the ISOLDE or Isotope Separator On Line DEvice, used to produce and separate radioactive isotopes of elements for research purposes. Given the game's frequent use of motifs relating to nuclear science and the health risks of radiation, it felt too specific to be incidental. Still, there wasn't much meaning I could derive from it, but I thought it was interesting enough to be worth pointing out.
The most prominent instance of that name is from the story of Tristan and Isolde, a celtic legend and a romantic tragedy often described as a precursor to Romeo and Juliet. There are many versions of the story told across different times and cultures, but given the game's many references to Romantic Era art from the German speaking world such as Schubert's Serenade and Böcklin's Isle of the Dead, I'm inclined to think it's specifically referencing Richard Wagner's opera "Tristan and Isolde". I'll give a quick synopsis here and analyze the parallels that I think may reflect Isa's role in the story. (To avoid confusion, from now on I will only use 'Isolde' to refer to the character from Tristan and Isolde while 'Isa' will refer to the one from Signalis, unless otherwise stated.)
It begins with Isolde on a ship, being escorted by the knight Tristan, from Ireland to Cornwall to marry Tristan's uncle, King Mark of Cornwall. It is an arranged marriage she is not keen on going through. In a fit of rage, she curses the ship, hoping it sinks and takes all of them with it, particularly Tristan. After learning that Tristan killed her original fiancé, she issues him an ultimatum that she will not willingly leave with him until he drinks with her as an atonement. In truth, she is planning to poison the both of them, and he suspects as much, but in an attempt to prevent this, her attendant replaced the poison with a love potion.
Though she ends up marrying King Mark between the first and second act, Tristan and Isolde can't ignore their passionate love. They realize the only time they can safely pursue their relationship is at night, when the King and the court aren't watching. As their patience for the night grows thinner, they realize the only way to realize their love is through the eternal night: Death. But at the same time, they are caught together by the King and his attendant. Without even attempting to explain his betrayal, he asks Isolde to follow him into death and impales himself on a sword.
In the third act, Tristan partially recovers from the suicide attempt but remains delirious. At the sound of a shepard's pipe in the distance, he reflects on the death of his parents, believing the pipe to be death now calling to him. He laments drinking the potion and how it led him to live a life of madness desiring something that can never be. He dies in Isolde's arms and she follows him into death. As the King arrives to the scene, Tristan's servant kills the King's attendant in revenge and then himself. Amidst all the death, the king reveals he had learned about the love potion and had simply come to offer his blessing to Tristan and Isolde, and the story ends with them finally realizing their love in the afterlife.
In writing this adaptation of the classic story, Wagner was reportedly inspired by the work of Arthur Schopenhauer, particularly his work "Die Welt ais Wille und Vorstellung" or "The World as Will and Representation." In "The Tristan Chord: Wagner and Philosophy", author Bryan Magee identifies Wagner's use of day and night as respective metaphors for "phenomenon", the aspects of the world we can perceive and "noumenon", the fundamentally unknowable reality beneath it. Both concepts were first named by Immanuel Kant, but Schopenhauer further argued that the gap between them is the cause of misery and suffering for all sentient beings; our individual pursuits and efforts to move towards a more personally favorable 'phenomenon' cannot be reconciled with a fundamentally uncertain state of the world and its other inhabitants. That to fulfill one desire requires the quashing of ten others. Illustrating this, he writes:
"...he saw an immense field entirely covered with skeletons, and took it to be a battle-field. However, they were nothing but skeletons of large turtles five feet long, three feet broad, and of equal height. These turtles come this way from the sea in order to lay their eggs, and are then seized by wild dogs... with their united strength, these dogs lay them on their backs, tear open their lower armour, the small scales of the belly, and devour them alive. But then a tiger often pounces on the dogs. Now all this misery is repeated thousands and thousands of times, year in year out. For this, then, are these turtles born. For what offence must they suffer this agony? What is the point of this whole scene of horror? The only answer is that the will-to-live thus objectifies itself."
Returning to Signalis, this quote immediately calls to mind the first-person Shores of Oblivion scene, in which skulls are buried and littered across the sand, and a quote from one of the nearby scattered papers:
we should have never left
the primordial soup
only through death can i escape
the call of the one who rules
above all life
Tristan and Isolde, realizing that their personal passions were irreconcilable with the interests of the material world they were in, concluded the only answer was to leave it behind altogether, so they made a death pact. A "promise", if you will. So upon finding Tristan dead, Isolde takes her own life. Much like how our Isa, who upon losing hope of being able to find Erika in the living world, disintegrates.
Another related theme connecting these stories is the lamentation of fate. Just as Isolde prays for the ship carrying her to her destiny to sink with her on it, and as Tristan regrets drinking the potion that led him to a life of desire for something that could never be, two early game quotes from Isa show that she is seeking Erika not just with love and concern but with regret for how they left things:
"Erika, if you find this note, despite everything that's happened. I've come to look for you."
"Have you ever wondered if you're speaking to someone for the last time without knowing? I wish I could go back, so I could say something else."
The details of this regret are deliberately ambiguous. It sounds like they had a fight or falling out, but 'everything that's happened' implies a deeper conflict- a disagreement or choice that they couldn't reconcile. Something important enough that it took Isa away from her sister, yet also something she regrets so greatly that she would take it all back just so she can see her sister one more time.
As Schopenhauer said, "A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants." The great tragedy at the center of Tristan and Isolde is that even if we have control of our actions, we are at the mercy of the desires we were given by fate. It's a theme that permeates not just Isa's story, but Signalis as a whole.
Elster never chose to love Ariane. Had she not, she might have found the strength to end her suffering before it was too late. So she ran away from the "day" of Ariane's suffering into the "night" of keeping her in cryosleep.
Ariane never chose to love art. Had she not, she could have had a simple and comfortable life fitting in with her peers. So she ran away from the "day" of the Eusan Nation's surveillance and social ridicule into the "night" of Penrose-512.
Falke lost any hope of finding happiness after becoming burdened with emotions and identity that she could do nothing to satiate, and quite literally went from the "day" of life into the "night" of dreaming.
And then there's Adler, all but crushed by helplessness as he tries in vain to hold back the death of reality, as Elster and Isa continue to bring about its apparent decay in pursuit of their own wills. The relationship between Adler and Isa is interesting and I think quite important, as he's the only character besides Elster who gets direct screen time with her. As the game bluntly mentions the first time Adler meets Isa,
NONE OF US ARE HERE BY CHOICE (And No One Will Miss Us)
It's from this and the Schopenhauerian interpretation of Tristan and Isolde that I think Adler represents phenomenon while Isa represents noumenon.
Adler wishes to preserve the light of day. To awaken from the dream and return to shared experience of a common, coherent reality. One where what you see is what you get. Where experiences can be trusted, and results are predictable.
Isa wishes to live in the night. The world of passion and of choice. Valuing the experience of familial love over all else, even the world or truth, she continues to live only in pursuit of another reality amidst the abyss of uncertainties, one where she made amends with her sister before it was too late, or never fell out with her at all. And when she finally accepts that she cannot find it or manifest it, much like her namesake, she concludes the "eternal night" is her last recourse.
There can be no perfect reconciliation between these two wills. It can never be day and night at the same time. And yet they do find themselves together- falling into the bottom of the mine. In the Nowhere, at the end of all things. At the sunset, the liminal space in between the night and day, between dreaming and waking. Because, one means nothing without the other.
To me that is the important take away from her story. That if we don't want to live in regret over the hand life dealt us- hating ourselves for being unable to fulfill the desires we were stuck with, before its too late, we must confront the question of which world we want to live in.
Is it truly better to have loved and lost then never loved at all? Is it truly better to have tried and failed than to never try? I don't want to believe the answer is no, but none of us can be certain for ourselves until we reason with ourselves honestly about why we struggle with the question in the first place- what the true value of each side of the coin is. Perhaps then we can accept what is beyond our control.
To quote Schopenhauer once more:
Every individual, every human apparition and its course of life, is only one more short dream of the endless spirit of nature, of the persistent will-to-live, is only one more fleeting form, playfully sketched by it on its infinite page, space and time; it is allowed to exist for a short while that is infinitesimal compared with these, and is then effaced, to make new room. Yet, and here is to be found the serious side of life, each of these fleeting forms, these empty fancies, must be paid for by the whole will-to-live in all its intensity with many deep sorrows, and finally with a bitter death, long feared and finally made manifest. It is for this reason that the sight of a corpse suddenly makes us serious.
submitted by SuperStingray to signalis [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 13:00 Which_Requirement_37 Methylphenidate hydrochloride so far

Hi everyone, I'm looking for opinions and share of experiences with methylphenidate hydrochloride.
After more than 2 years of wait I finally got the NHS assessment back in November, and after another 6 months got my 1st titration appointment and finally started my medication journey at the beginning of May.
I have been prescribed methylphenidate hydrochloride 5mg, twice a day.
I have been taking it for more than 2 weeks now and have a review appointment soon, so I have tried to monitor whether I noticed any difference to discuss with the prescriber, and here's where I would benefit from your input.
Since taking it, I don't think I have experienced any side effects besides appetite suppression during the day - I think after 4-5 hrs of taking the 2nd pill this goes away and my snacking urges come back. This has helped me though in sticking to 3 meals a day, eating healthy and balanced as I shopped in advance and created a schedule to promote healthy options and avoid crazy snacking (although I do tend to have an influx of focus and discipline around this time of year even before medication- so not sure if this is placebo)
(When I say healthy and balanced I mean getting my protein, fiber and overall nutrients goals, getting sugar from fruit rather than sweets, avoiding fry ups which I love, and snacking mindlessly)
I think I might be slightly more focused at times, and a bit more organised but this might be just placebo as I might have been influenced by others telling what they experience.
I definitely think my mind has got slightly more quiet.
In terms of impulsiveness I was tempted to say I was better but then I went and bought a second hand laptop yesterday - my impulsiveness manifests through shopping rather than booze and other things.
So my questions to you: 1. What things, if any, have you monitored/noticed changes in at such small dosage?
Also, I'm mindful every person / any medication is different, and you are not qualified prescribers - but I saw many people talk that they progressed from a specific dosage to another more rapidly than 3 weeks/ a month => so 2 more questions here:
  1. how was your dosage progression on methylphenidate?
  2. were there any improvements/side effects you've experienced at each phase more than other?
Many thank in advance to anyone sharing their thoughts on my questions above.
submitted by Which_Requirement_37 to ADHDUK [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 12:31 Annual-Ad-3061 Testogen Review: My Experience with a Natural Testosterone Booster (Results After 8 Weeks)

Hey everyone,
I'm writing this post to share my experience with Testogen, a natural testosterone booster I've been using for the past 8 weeks. As a guy in his 40s, I started noticing a dip in my energy levels and overall performance. Let's just say, keeping up at the gym and, well, in the bedroom, wasn't quite as easy as it used to be.
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Testogen came across my radar while I was researching natural ways to boost testosterone. The product description mentions it helps with muscle growth, strength, stamina, and even libido, all with a blend of eight natural ingredients. Now, I'm usually a bit skeptical about these supplements, but the positive reviews caught my attention.
Here's what I noticed after using Testogen for 8 weeks:
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Now, a few things to keep in mind:
Overall, I'm really happy with Testogen. It's a legit natural testosterone booster that helped me get back on track with my fitness goals and reignited my sex life. If you're a guy looking for a safe and effective way to boost your T levels, I recommend giving Testogen a try.
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submitted by Annual-Ad-3061 to LifeCapsule [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:24 LinguisticsTurtle What can a layperson read in order to learn about what DNA methylation is all about when it comes to human health?

My understanding is that vitamin B9 impacts the process of DNA methylation. And that this process has to do with genes getting "turned on and off"; it's epigenetics. If you have dysregulated or messed-up DNA methylation then, genes are getting "turned on and off" in a harmful and disorganized way throughout your body, correct?
But what does this really mean and how does this actually play out? I would love to read something about that topic.
Is DNA methylation happening on a very rapid "timescale" such that taking a vitamin-B9 supplement could induce (within, say, 1 minute? or 5 minutes?) changes in the methylation process that would cause actual changes in your body? What changes in your body could occur within 1 minute...or 5 minutes or 10 minutes or 30 minutes...through changes in the process of DNA methylation?
If you take a vitamin-B9 pill and then (after a few minutes) your GI system makes some noises and becomes more active, is it possible that those noises and that activity are related to DNA methylation? Or could DNA methylation never induce the noises and the activity?
See here:
https://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/ben/cdm/2005/00000006/00000001/art00006
Advances in molecular biology greatly contributed, in the past decades, to a deeper understanding of the role of gene function in disease development. Environmental as well as nutritional factors are now well acknowledged to interact with the individual genetic background for the development of several diseases, including cancer, cardiovascular disease, and neurodegenerative diseases. The precise mechanisms of such gene-nutrient interactions, however, are not fully elucidated yet. Many micronutrients and vitamins are crucial in regulating mechanisms of DNA metabolism. Indeed, folate has been most extensively investigated for its unique function as mediator for the transfer of one-carbon moieties for nucleotide synthesis / repair and biological methylation. Cell culture, animal, and human studies, clearly demonstrated that folate deficiency induces disruption of DNA synthesis / repair pathways as well as DNA methylation anomalies. Remarkably, a gene-nutrient interaction between folate status and a polymorphism in methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase gene has been reported to modulate genomic DNA methylation. This observation suggests that the interaction between a nutritional status and a mutant genotype may modulate gene expression through DNA methylation, especially when such polymorphism affects a key enzyme in one-carbon metabolism and limits the methyl supply. DNA methylation, both genome-wide and gene-specific, is of particular interest for the study of aging, cancer, and other pathologic conditions, because it affects gene expression without permanent alterations in the DNA sequence such as mutations or allele deletions. Understanding the patterns of DNA methylation through the interaction with nutrients is a critical issue, not only to provide pathophysiological explanations of a disease state, but also to identify individuals at-risk to conduct targeted diet-based interventions.
I think we tend to think of genetics as this immutable thing and therefore we would be surprised if the process of DNA methylation could induce changes in our bodies within 1 or 5 or 10 or 30 minutes.
submitted by LinguisticsTurtle to AskBiology [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:19 kelpkelpers Most people are consistently desired even up into their 40s / 50s

Something that's been a hard pill for me to swallow and keep down is realizing that most people are consistently desired and have people liking them up into older age, while I'm 25 and I don't think anyone has genuinely ever had as little as a crush on me...
Any guy I was bold enough to tell I liked them always looked uncomfortable and promptly rejected me. And no they weren't all straight. It really hurts when I see people younger and older than me being desired by hundreds of people. I can't even get 1 single person to like me or find me to be worthy enough of their time
Any one I've messaged for a little bit ghosted me. And that's blatantly them saying they don't find me good enough. It's not even about not being good enough as a partner or not good enough in terms of personality because when you're attractive enough people are willing to coax "personality" out of you
Being good looking to the person you're talking to is the only real way to secure their interest in you
People pursue people they find attractive period. Someone you find attractive naturally just becomes the most interesting person in the world to you even if they're boring. Your brain will see that was "omg they're soo different from the norm that's soooo attractive they're not afraid to be different"
When you're attractive to people 90% of the work is already done. When you're ugly to someone they couldn't give a shit about how interesting or fun you are that's what I had to realize
There was no assortment of words, or amount of making someone laugh that would make them fall for you if you aren't already attractive enough to them
I'm aware of the good qualities I have like being caring, playful, supportive, empathetic, etc, but it doesn't make up for being ugly
My stomach always drops when I think about the amount of times I've genuinely liked someone and been either ghosted or blocked... it hurts so much because it's the other person saying that you're basically worthless and not good enough to them
I know for a fact that if I was attractive enough even with the trauma and exact same qualities I have now good and bad, people would be crawling over themselves to get to me
When you're attractive enough the good things about you are appreciated even more and the "bad" things about you serve to humanize you and make you seen as "perfectly imperfect"
but for us ugly people we are told to go on 20 year long self discovery and improvement journeys before we can ever have our first date, but that was never the real issue
The issue is How attractive your face and body is
submitted by kelpkelpers to ugly [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 10:42 Leakyships Finding a non-feminist woman in 2024 seemed impossible… until Hinge saved my dating life.

Finding a non-feminist woman in 2024 seemed impossible… until Hinge saved my dating life.
Hello 🙋‍♂️ Little success story here. I am 31 and politically align as a moderate. (No, Reddit, that doesn’t mean I am a Conservative.) I wanted a traditional, good-hearted woman who respects traditional feminine and masculine roles, who will step into my frame and complement my life. This is a tall order in a major progressive city in 2024.
Some women want a tall man or a guy earning six figures. Well, a traditional family is simply what I wanted. I know this because I have spent most of my life courting girls who simply aren’t what I want. It's been incredibly bumpy with a lot of tears. In the last year alone, I must have been on dates with over 50 women, 10 of which turned into something more. Some were from Hinge, some from speed dating (which I highly recommend if you are more charismatic than pleasing looking like myself).
It got to the point where I was fed up. Date after date, yeah, a lot were subjectively beautiful, but they just weren’t doing it for me. Or when they did do it for me, there was always a bombshell she dropped: either an incurable STI, completely opposing political values, or she had two children. Or, of course, she was not feeling me. There was always something, and none of these 30+ women had the appreciation of traditional values I was looking for. All identified themselves as feminists, and my last three girlfriends have been far-left-leaning social justice warriors who disagreed with my views on pretty much everything. I tried dating some conservative women to see how that was, and well, let’s just say never again. 😂
I realized I needed to get proactive, hone in, and get specific about what I wanted and didn’t want, even if it seemed like an incredibly tall order.
My list was something like:
Slim athletic figure Beautiful smile No kids (but wants kids) No tattoos Respects traditional values Culinary skills Agrees men are success objects, women are beauty/emotional objects Not politically charged Caring, loving, trustworthy, understanding Great at sex Wouldn’t mind dating a guy who’s currently earning under average, who’s a little chubby, short, and whose teeth are slightly stained yellow and brown I know, right? Seems like I am dreaming. So I decided to not actively swipe like a madman because I was burnt out. I just swiped now and again and focused on my mission/purpose in life for a few months.
And the results were insane. It’s like what your mind focuses on, you attract.
I found the loveliest, most respectful, beautiful woman with every single thing on that list. She has a genuine burning desire for me, and we are now official. This happened three months after I made that list. It subconsciously hyper-focused my energy.
So yeah, even if you feel like what you want doesn’t exist or will never be interested in you, just keep going and never give up. You know most people out there are probably not a good match for you as a life partner, but some are.
And again, despite what you guys might think, I am not a conservative, I am not red-pilled, I am not a bigot or a racist, and I strive for an equal quality of life for everyone. I just know what I want, and clearly, that paid off.
Thanks for reading my success story. Have a blessed day, all.
Happy swiping!
submitted by Leakyships to HingeStories [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 10:27 Annual-Ad-3061 What is Zotrim and Does it Actually Curb Appetite?

Hey everyone,
I've been on the weight loss journey for a while now, and like many of us, I've been bombarded with all sorts of diet pills and supplements. Zotrim kept popping up, advertised as this amazing appetite suppressant. I figured, "why not?" and gave it a shot for a month.
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Here's my honest experience:
What it is: Zotrim is an appetite suppressant supplement that comes in capsules. You take them before meals with water.
My experience:
The first week, I felt a slight difference. I wasn't magically ravenous all the time, but I wouldn't say my appetite was completely curbed either. Around the second week, I started noticing I wasn't reaching for seconds as much, and snacking between meals definitely decreased. Here's the thing though: I also made a conscious effort to drink more water throughout the day, which I know can help with feeling full.
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Overall:
Here's the deal. Zotrim is a helpful tool, but it's not a replacement for a healthy lifestyle. If you're looking for a quick fix, this ain't it. But, if you're already on the right track and want a little extra help managing cravings, it is worth trying.
submitted by Annual-Ad-3061 to LifeCapsule [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 10:06 Angelitaa_ Don’t announce your patient’s business in a busy waiting area.

This isn’t my experience but a colleague of mine’s story.
She is also a pharmacist who works in community/retail. A few weekends ago she needed the morning after pill (EHC, plan B, whatever) and for context you can get it for free in the UK if you sit in for a consultation and give your details to the pharmacist. Her normal pharmacy was closed, meaning I couldn’t do it for her, so she attended another big retail chain (rhymes with Toots for other UK’ers).
The pharmacist agreed to see her in between covid clinics. She was sat in a busy waiting area which was also the shop’s retail area, waiting for 20 mins, when the pharmacist walked up to her and loudly said in front of a shop full of people “You’re the morning after pill, right?”
Which on its own was embarrassing enough. He apologised for the wait and said I can see you if you can wait 20 more minutes as I have an appointment to clear. Which she agreed to. So 20 more minutes of smirks and glares from other shoppers and people waiting for prescriptions.
When he finally called her in, wanting to get things over with she says she started reeling off information about her cycle etc and he laughed and said something along the lines of “I can tell you’ve done this a few times”.
The way my friend tells this story is that the quiet mortified embarrassment immediately gave way for red hot rage. She replied “Not really. I’m a pharmacist actually. What was your name again?”
He immediately freezes up and says oh yeah so you know how stressful it is! And starts making small talk about how long she’s been qualified. She replies “long enough to know that you shouldn’t shout confidential info across a busy shop. I wasn’t going to say anything but realistically I’m grown, I’m married, and my usual contraceptive method failed. I shouldn’t have to justify these things to anyone either.”
She said he immediately apologised and said he’d just had a long day and wasn’t really thinking properly. She lectured him about how uncomfortable it can be as a woman to have to seek out the morning after pill and as a provider you don’t know the woman’s situation, you don’t know that they haven’t been assaulted or something, and that he’s lucky she’s sat here talking to him rather than just writing a complaint. He whizzed through the rest of the consultation, provided no counselling and wished her luck with work.
I’ve seen so many meme posts about how pharmacists will announce patients’ business to the whole shop but I just laughed them off (because who would ever do that).
I get that the job fries our brains and sometimes empathy is a hard thing to muster up but as a profession I just can’t believe there are pharmacists that do anything but make it easy for patients to feel comfortable seeking us out. I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir here really. But if she hadn’t been a pharmacist she wouldn’t have known this was wrong and would just assume every experience there on out would be the same. No wonder community pharmacy is struggling so much.
submitted by Angelitaa_ to TalesFromThePharmacy [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 09:24 Annual-Ad-3061 My Mind Vitality Review: Sharper Focus, More Done (But Read This Before You Buy)

Hey y'all,
I've been seeing Mind Vitality popping up all over social media, claiming to be a magic bullet for focus, energy, and productivity. Someone who spends way too much time staring at screens (guilty!), I figured I'd give it a shot and share my honest experience.
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What I Liked:
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Not-So-Great Stuff:
Overall:
Mind Vitality isn't a gimmick. It's helped me focus better and get more done throughout the day, with a natural energy boost that doesn't leave me feeling jittery. However, it takes some time to kick in and isn't a replacement for a healthy lifestyle.
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submitted by Annual-Ad-3061 to LifeCapsule [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 08:57 AnxiousAd7056 a Mature guy seeking advic

I'm a typical, unemployed, middle-aged Pakistani. (34 years old) I was a banker for sometime but during the first wave of corona in 2020, I lost my job. Since then I'm mostly unemployed for almost 3.5 years now.
It's not like I don't wanna work but it is that I can't find work. My Spouse has left me. Father passed away 10 years ago. Mother's Pension and younger brother's salary is keeping the kitchen and circle alive which is getting harder day by day. May daily routine is to get up, I don't get any breakfast because there's none left for me. get suited in a couple of office pants and shirts that I still own, go to different offices and drop my CVs, some sympethize, some flat out refuse and even redicule that you're now a 34 year old male. You should of been a tycoon by now.
No one respects me. No one remembers me in gatherings. No one bothers to call or invite me during family functions.
My own mother hates and despises me because I'm a constant source of shame for her ever since I was born. Things I hear on daily basis are, kaash mein marr jati to tu na hota aj mjhe zaleel krny keliye, ya phir hazaron khawateen zachgi k doran marr jati hain, kaash mein bhi un me se 1 hoti, tery paas job nai to to aisa kr k kisi flyover ya high voltage electricity pole pr charh ja or ehtjaj kr, koi na koi politician aye ga, apni publicity k bahany hi sahi, tujhe nechy utarwaey ga, photo wagera banwaye ga or nokri deny k wada kr k chala jye ga. Khakrob ya sweeper ki nokri bhi dy to kr le bas meri jaan chor dy.
I've been struggling with anxiety and depression ever since I was 18, (so for almost half of my life, I've been stressed, depressed and battling with anxiety). I tried to h**g myself on a couple of occasions due to severe anxiety but my mother and wife were always able to intervene at the right time. But Level of despise has gained such heights that my mother says kaash hum tujhe us time jhoolny dety. When I say k jab me la-ilm hoon to mery khany me poison daal dena. to mother boli k beta dil to boht chahta ha but police ayegi to pehla shak ham per hi jye ga. for the record she's my biological, sagi mother. Kehti hain, nokri nahi milti to bheek hi maang ly but kisi trah meri jaan chor dy.
My spouse had remain faithful for a couple of years after I lost my job but she left when she saw that he's getting over aged and not gonna get a decent job. We have no kids so it was easier for her to leave. Her family as well as mine, supported her decision.
I haven't received much milestones in Educational or Career wise.
I have a lot of gaps in my education and career, which every one notinces in an instant while scruitining or perusing my C.V.
I've been rejected from many places for being OVER AGED or not having too much experience.
For some time I felt shame, that I don't want to be a Food panda rider or courier guy, INdrive, careem, bykea captain but now I'm considering everything.
Can't get a license due to weak eyesigt and licence is must to get registered on any app. Bought a bike on installments and half of them are still remaining so I can't use those documents to get registered on apps either.
Little savings I had, I tried rickshaw driving but couldn't because of frequent challans by Traffic Wardens and degrading behaviorude remarks of pessengers and passersby because ricksshaw walas are considered subhumans.
I've also tried selling sabzi, corn soup, gol gappas, dahi ballas, ice cream cycle (according to the season) but got always cheated. either because of my inexperience or me being too SIMPLE and Bahir Ki dunia being bahir ki dunia, dog eating dog world.
I've also tried freelancing, but aaj ki dunia mein ya lafz mjhe gaali lagta ha, jab koi pochy kia kr rhy ho, or koi agy se boly online work krta hoon to agla yahi samajhta ha k VELA ha.
Tried my hands in Private schooling but couldn't get a job due to social anxiety, low confidence and self esteem.
Tried Day Trading as well as options trading, thinking that I can atleast make the amount equal to my monthly salary to keep my kitchen and circle flowing but after losing almost 35 k in it, I said to myself, k people are right k ye juwa ha.
I'm 34. mjhe agy kch nahi nazar arha. Freelancing se nafrat si ho gai or wo is wajah se k 20 years ki age se ye freelancing kr rha hoon or job keliye bhi try krta raha hoon. Freelancing k sath rishta on and off raha ha. yani jab job mil gai to freelancing chor di or jab job chali gai to dobara freelancing shuru kr di.
Freelancing keliye grinding se mjhe both khouf ata ha. proposals likhty howy lafz mery samny nachny lagty hain. apny room me akela betha hoa hoon to mjhe ajeeb ajeeb mayoosi waly khayal aty hain
My kai baar apny sagy behn bhai se request kr chuka hoon k choti moti job dila do, woh kehty hain k bhai tera masla ha. Mera chota bhai mjh per haath bhi utha chuka ha.
due to lack of funds, I don't groom myself much so I look like a jawari, nashai, jahaaz most of the time. when I go to an office, guards won't even let me in k bhikari andar allowed ni.
Pichly 5 saal se sleeping pills le kr so rha hoon. Pehly bhai la deta tha but ab nahi kyun k wo bolta ha mehngai boht hai, me afford ni kr skta.
day before yesterday, I made a fake prescription and bought some 6 or 7 brands of sl**ping pills.
I'm planning on taking them all at once and ending it once and for all.
I remember reading the story of a writer who was overwhelmed by despair and decided to end his own life. Feeling utterly hopeless, he left his home and went for a long walk, contemplating his decision. As he walked, he made a solemn vow to himself: if he encountered even one person who was genuinely smiling, he would reconsider his decision to end his life.
The writer walked for what felt like hours, passing countless people along the way. But despite his search, he couldn't find a single person who appeared genuinely happy or content. Disheartened, he concluded that there was no joy left in the world, no reason to continue living.
With a heavy heart, the writer returned home, his resolve to end his life firm. He took the final steps to carry out his decision, feeling utterly alone and abandoned by the world.
This, in no way, is plea for bheek or charity or attiyat or donations or KHUDA keliye mjhe kaam per rakh lo ya job dila do. Kyun k ye ghar ghar ki kahani ha but Mjhe samajh hi nahi arha k kia kron. to ye kaam asaan lag rha ha.
submitted by AnxiousAd7056 to Lahore [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 08:51 AnxiousAd7056 34 Year Male here - seeking advice.

KARACHI
I'm a typical, unemployed, middle-aged Pakistani. (34 years old) I was a banker for sometime but during the first wave of corona in 2020, I lost my job. Since then I'm mostly unemployed for almost 3.5 years now.
It's not like I don't wanna work but it is that I can't find work. My Spouse has left me. Father passed away 10 years ago. Mother's Pension and younger brother's salary is keeping the kitchen and circle alive which is getting harder day by day. May daily routine is to get up, I don't get any breakfast because there's none left for me. get suited in a couple of office pants and shirts that I still own, go to different offices and drop my CVs, some sympethize, some flat out refuse and even redicule that you're now a 34 year old male. You should of been a tycoon by now.
No one respects me. No one remembers me in gatherings. No one bothers to call or invite me during family functions.
My own mother hates and despises me because I'm a constant source of shame for her ever since I was born. Things I hear on daily basis are, kaash mein marr jati to tu na hota aj mjhe zaleel krny keliye, ya phir hazaron khawateen zachgi k doran marr jati hain, kaash mein bhi un me se 1 hoti, teri paas job nai to to aisa kr k kisi flyover ya high voltage electricity pole pr charh ja or ehtjaj kr, koi na koi politician aye ga, apni publicity k bahany hi sahi, tujhe nechy utarwaey ga, photo wagera banwaye ga or nokri deny k wada kr k chala jye ga. Khakrob ya sweeper ki nokri bhi dy to kr le bas meri jaan chor dy.
I've been struggling with anxiety and depression ever since I was 18, (so for almost half of my life, I've been stressed, depressed and battling with anxiety). I tried to h**g myself on a couple of occasions due to severe anxiety but my mother and wife were always able to intervene at the right time. But Level of despise has gained such heights that my mother says kaash hum tujhe us time jhoolny dety. When I say k jab me la-ilm hoon to mery khany me poison daal dena. to mother boli k beta dil to boht chahta ha but police ayegi to pehla shak ham per hi jye ga. for the record she's my biological, sagi mother. Kehti hain, nokri nahi milti to bheek hi maang ly but kisi trah meri jaan chor dy.
My spouse had remain faithful for a couple of years after I lost my job but she left when she saw that he's getting over aged and not gonna get a decent job. We have no kids so it was easier for her to leave. Her family as well as mine, supported her decision.
I haven't received much milestones in Educational or Career wise.
I have a lot of gaps in my education and career, which every one notinces in an instant while scruitining or perusing my C.V.
I've been rejected from many places for being OVER AGED or not having too much experience.
For some time I felt shame, that I don't want to be a Food panda rider or courier guy, INdrive, careem, bykea captain but now I'm considering everything.
Can't get a license due to weak eyesigt and licence is must to get registered on any app. Bought a bike on installments and half of them are still remaining so I can't use those documents to get registered on apps either.
Little savings I had, I tried rickshaw driving but couldn't because of frequent challans by Traffic Wardens and degrading behaviorude remarks of pessengers and passersby because ricksshaw walas are considered subhumans.
I've also tried selling sabzi, corn soup, gol gappas, dahi ballas, ice cream cycle (according to the season) but got always cheated. either because of my inexperience or me being too SIMPLE and Bahir Ki dunia being bahir ki dunia, dog eating dog world.
I've also tried freelancing, but aaj ki dunia mein ya lafz mjhe gaali lagta ha, jab koi pochy kia kr rhy ho, or koi agy se boly online work krta hoon to agla yahi samajhta ha k VELA ha.
Tried my hands in Private schooling but couldn't get a job due to social anxiety, low confidence and self esteem.
Tried Day Trading as well as options trading, thinking that I can atleast make the amount equal to my monthly salary to keep my kitchen and circle flowing but after losing almost 35 k in it, I said to myself, k people are right k ye juwa ha.
I'm 34. mjhe agy kch nahi nazar arha. Freelancing se nafrat si ho gai or wo is wajah se k 20 years ki age se ye freelancing kr rha hoon or job keliye bhi try krta raha hoon. Freelancing k sath rishta on and off raha ha. yani jab job mil gai to freelancing chor di or jab job chali gai to dobara freelancing shuru kr di.
Freelancing keliye grinding se mjhe both khouf ata ha. proposals likhty howy lafz mery samny nachny lagty hain. apny room me akela betha hota hoon to mjhe ajeeb ajeeb mayoosi waly khayal aty hain
My kai baar apny sagy behn bhai se request kr chuka hoon k choti moti job dila do, woh kehty hain k bhai tera masla ha. Mera chota bhai mjh per haath bhi utha chuka ha.
due to lack of funds, I don't groom myself much so I look like a jawari, nashai, jahaaz most of the time. when I go to an office, guards won't even let me in k bhikari andar allowed ni.
Pichly 5 saal se sleeping pills le kr so rha hoon. Pehly bhai la deta tha but ab nahi kyun k wo bolta ha mehngai boht hai, me afford ni kr skta.
day before yesterday, I made a fake prescription and bought some 6 or 7 brands of sl**ping pills.
I'm planning on taking them all at once and ending it once and for all.
I remember reading the story of a writer who was overwhelmed by despair and decided to end his own life. Feeling utterly hopeless, he left his home and went for a long walk, contemplating his decision. As he walked, he made a solemn vow to himself: if he encountered even one person who was genuinely smiling, he would reconsider his decision to end his life.
The writer walked for what felt like hours, passing countless people along the way. But despite his search, he couldn't find a single person who appeared genuinely happy or content. Disheartened, he concluded that there was no joy left in the world, no reason to continue living.
With a heavy heart, the writer returned home, his resolve to end his life firm. He took the final steps to carry out his decision, feeling utterly alone and abandoned by the world.
This, in no way, is plea for bheek or charity or attiyat or donations or KHUDA keliye mjhe kaam per rakh lo ya job dila do. Kyun k ye ghar ghar ki kahani ha but Mjhe samajh hi nahi arha k kia kron. to ye kaam asaan lag rha ha.
submitted by AnxiousAd7056 to karachi [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 08:17 Sad_Bet_6676 After 6 years of begging, my 55yo mum is finally considering therapy for her major depressive disorder where do I start?!

Please if you have ANY insight, whether it is things you’ve personally experienced, wish you’d done different or have any other advice I want to know. I finally got her interested in the concept after mentioning how many alternative therapies there are now adays- such as those using psychedelics and MDMA to rewire the brain. This is about 6 years in the making of encouraging and begging her to go to therapy, so the stakes are high, and I’m terrified of messing this up. There’s a lot of contexts but in the interest of making this succinct ill just give the main points here and you can skip the context if need.
- I specifically need advice on:
~Context:~
- Treatment history:
o Has tried antidepressants/anxieties for many years, id say she’s been depressed for at least 20 years. Different varieties to. Dads a doctor so classic pill pusher.
- General history:
o She is south African (although we are in Aus now). Their culture is not very open about mental health.
o She was a nurse in south Africa in the 90’s, she has spoken briefly of the things she saw and the stuff she describes is not something that has ever been depicted in movies or books it is that bad. She never sought therapy for this.
o She then met my father, a few months in got married and then uprooted her whole life to move to Australia, leaving every family member and friend behind.
o She had my autistic brother and sister, and my father was emotionally absent. He worked nonstop and the support was mainly limited to financial. Meaning she did everything herself. I am ADHD to, so she may have some undiagnosed disorder.
o The 20 years from when her eldest was born were filled with extreme stress for her, until now she has never been interested in or ever had close friends. Meaning she had quite an isolated existence.
o She is communication aversive, potentially childhood trauma of being shamed for speaking out about struggling or her mental health. She shuts down, becomes depressed, overwhelmed and isolates if she is confronted with speaking about her feelings surrounding her mental health.
o At around 40-45 she had her ovaries removed- following she tried HRT, but didn’t realize that she was not absorbing it, leading to a few years of psychotic behavior, extremely traumatic depression, completely suicidal although never attempted. Ever since she has been on AD and after years of chronic depression, she is so exhausted she believes she won’t be able to continue indefinitely. That is why I’m so anxious to get this right, I don’t think she has the stamina to go through multiple therapists or whether shed even try again if the first one sucks.
o She has never considered therapy because she says the minute she starts trying to unlock those things she’s suppressed and try to talk about them its so painful it triggers her depression and suicidal thoughts intensely, but the meds are not working anymore, and she finally seems open to giving something a shot.
In conclusion I’ve left a lot out, but I believe this is a complex case, far more than just find a therapist and go see them as I’d normally suggest. I am 22yo, I’ve had therapy to deal with her through her abusive years. I have a special interest in psychology and have worked on getting her to be open to this for a very long time. If you know of any other places, I could ask this too, let me know. Apologies if this is the wrong place to post about this. If you are someone who can relate to her and have sought treatment yourself or for someone you love please enlighten me. TIA for all assistance.
submitted by Sad_Bet_6676 to askatherapist [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 08:17 Sad_Bet_6676 After 6 years of begging, my 55yo mum is finally considering therapy for her major depressive disorder where do I start?!

* TW mention of suicidal thoughts
Please if you have ANY insight, whether it is things you’ve personally experienced, wish you’d done different or have any other advice I want to know. I finally got her interested in the concept after mentioning how many alternative therapies there are now adays- such as those using psychedelics and MDMA to rewire the brain. This is about 6 years in the making of encouraging and begging her to go to therapy, so the stakes are high, and I’m terrified of messing this up. There’s a lot of contexts but in the interest of making this succinct ill just give the main points here and you can skip the context if need.
- I specifically need advice on:
~Context:~
- Treatment history:
o Has tried antidepressants/anxieties for many years, id say she’s been depressed for at least 20 years. Different varieties to. Dads a doctor so classic pill pusher.
- General history:
o She is south African (although we are in Aus now). Their culture is not very open about mental health.
o She was a nurse in south Africa in the 90’s, she has spoken briefly of the things she saw and the stuff she describes is not something that has ever been depicted in movies or books it is that bad. She never sought therapy for this.
o She then met my father, a few months in got married and then uprooted her whole life to move to Australia, leaving every family member and friend behind.
o She had my autistic brother and sister, and my father was emotionally absent. He worked nonstop and the support was mainly limited to financial. Meaning she did everything herself. I am ADHD to, so she may have some undiagnosed disorder.
o The 20 years from when her eldest was born were filled with extreme stress for her, until now she has never been interested in or ever had close friends. Meaning she had quite an isolated existence.
o She is communication aversive, potentially childhood trauma of being shamed for speaking out about struggling or her mental health. She shuts down, becomes depressed, overwhelmed and isolates if she is confronted with speaking about her feelings surrounding her mental health.
o At around 40-45 she had her ovaries removed- following she tried HRT, but didn’t realize that she was not absorbing it, leading to a few years of psychotic behavior, extremely traumatic depression, completely suicidal although never attempted. Ever since she has been on AD and after years of chronic depression, she is so exhausted she believes she won’t be able to continue indefinitely. That is why I’m so anxious to get this right, I don’t think she has the stamina to go through multiple therapists or whether shed even try again if the first one sucks.
o She has never considered therapy because she says the minute she starts trying to unlock those things she’s suppressed and try to talk about them its so painful it triggers her depression and suicidal thoughts intensely, but the meds are not working anymore, and she finally seems open to giving something a shot.
In conclusion I’ve left a lot out, but I believe this is a complex case, far more than just find a therapist and go see them as I’d normally suggest. I am 22yo, I’ve had therapy for dealing with her through her abusive years. I have a special interest in psychology and have worked on getting her to be open to this for a very long time. If you know of any other places, I could ask this too, let me know. Apologies if this is the wrong place to post about this. If you are someone who can relate to her and have sought treatment yourself or for someone you love please enlighten me. TIA for all assistance.
submitted by Sad_Bet_6676 to mentalhealth [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 08:03 Submissive_Secret_AK Surviving Schizophrenia: Is It Possible? I Think So Honey

—
13 years ago, sitting on a therapist’s couch; sophomore in college. I thought I knew everything. My erratic behaviour was due to my age, drinking, and occasional drug use. The voices I was hearing were due to traumatic experiences from my childhood. I wasn’t sick. I didn’t help. I was just going thru ‘some shit’.
Despite late night extravaganzas, hearing voices, shadows following my every move, and the CIA recording every conversation I was having; I kept up on my studies. Believe it or not I was a 3.0 student during my bachelors.
Now, where were we; yes, I was sitting on Dr. Egger’s couch. His bike against the wall because he rode his bike to work. He was the first to diagnose me. It was the first time the subject of ‘schizophrenia’ was brought up.
“Steven, it is based on my professional experience you are struggling because you are a person living with a serious mental illness.”
My response.
“Shut the fuck up. No way. I just need to stop drinking, going out, and probably need new friends.”
Dr. Eggers continued.
“Steven. You are struggling because you have schizophrenia.”
I was 20 years old when I was told the reason why my life had begun to spin out of control. Looking back at everything; being diagnosed or even just living with schizophrenia seems scarier when in reality it is just another hurdle like most aspects of life.
During my bachelors, I did the impossible. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, started taking new medications, and still was studying every night. I was a member of the Muslim Student Association because during this period of my life I was Muslim. Now, just imagine being diagnosed with a serious mental disorder and being surrounded by folks who meant well but believed ‘prayer and Qur’an’ is all you need to feel better.
It was a dark time. My illness got to the point I ran away from my problems, from my life, and from those who I considered ‘friends and family’. I fled to Yemen of all places. I taught English overseas.
In summary, I was struggling with psychosis for a large part of my education. During my entire bachelor’s education, I was hospitalized at least once a year (took 5 years to complete my bachelors). The voices were getting out of hand. I was visually hallucinating during times of high stress. I attempted to kill myself on three separate occasions. Drugs, pills, liquor, and cutting. Nothing worked. It was as though God wanted me alive despite my willingness to end things.
I would get married between my bachelors and master’s education. For most folks, marriage is hard enough to sustain. Marriage can succeed if trust, empathy, love, humility, and compassion are being practiced by both parties involved. If I am being honest, I didn’t succeed on this front. My schizophrenia was telling me everyone was after me. No one was safe to trust. I was alone in the world. It was me against the world. My ex-wife I can’t blame for what happened. We had been married for 4 almost 5 years.
During this period of being married I was still completing my master’s education. Guess what? I ended up with a 3.5 GPA. It could be just me but that is one hell of an accomplishment given the fact I was agitated, distrustful, and believed food cooked for me was ‘poisoned’.
My schizophrenia not only crippled several personal romantic relationships, but it severed my relationship with my family. I don’t speak with my mother and father (or at least my adopted parents). Gene and Darcy tried so hard to raise me right. They attempted to teach me the difference between right and wrong. How to treat others and what it means to be ‘responsible’. What they didn’t anticipate was that one of their children would struggle with paranoid schizophrenia.
We had always had a tender relationship. Despite our differences, I was always able to return back to them for support. Everything changed four years ago. I had bought a house in Saint Paul, Minnesota (with their help). My schizophrenia during that time wasn’t as dominant. I had been meeting a therapist weekly but not taking medication at the time.
I am not sure what set me off or why my schizophrenia decided to set off a nuclear bomb; I packed my shit in my car, sold my house, and moved to Alaska without telling them of my intentions. The house they helped me buy (the money they put down towards the down payment) was squandered. I believed my phone was being tapped by the government, my neighbours were spies, my co-workers were listening to my thoughts, and that the voices I heard were correct.
Often the voices I hear say shit like this;
“You are useless. You are a nobody. Nobody loves you. Why don’t you just run away. No one will miss you. No one cares about you.”
“You can’t do anything right. You do everything wrong. Your co-workers talk about you. Everybody talks about you. Why don’t you just make a plan and kill yourself.”
These are just two examples of what my voices will comment on a daily basis.
My adopted parents down-payment was gone. They couldn’t get it back. I moved to Alaska. I believed everything was going to be better. I thought a new state, a new city, a new me. I was wrong. My schizophrenia followed me. It never missed a beat. It kept up.
I know it never left because it led to one of the most hurtful break-ups I have ever had; I still love her with all my heart. I would take a bullet for her. I would give her my heart if she needed a new one. My schizophrenia caused me to push away someone who I felt was ‘the one’. This was the most painful experience I have ever gone thru.
Now, folks after saying all this is it possible to survive schizophrenia. I think it is. I say this knowing that 13 years ago I was sitting on a stiff couch believing that I was just having a bad time that would be over soon. I accomplished going to school. I have a bachelors and a masters. I have lived in Yemen, Thailand, and Indonesia just to name a few countries. I have travelled far and wide and seen the most beautiful sunsets.
I might have schizophrenia, but life hasn’t stopped. I wake up every day and need to decide what am I going to do next; am I going to let schizophrenia CONTROL MY LIFE or am I going to try my best to PUT UP A FIGHT.
submitted by Submissive_Secret_AK to schizophrenia [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 07:49 BackgroundWindow456 What happened to me when I was 16/17 years old

I really don’t know how to begin all of this. This entire thing might just be messy but stick with me.
I (24) went through a lot of weird behaviors from my (ex) step dad that I think I continue to gaslight myself about. My mom met this man when I was in the middle of highschool. When we first started getting to know him he was super cool and was a really caring guy. Fast forward like a year later he ended up moving into the house that my mom, myself and my sister lived in. The best way that I can explain his true colors was that he was a grade A narcissist. Absolutely full of himself. He loved being the center of attention at all times. He would say some REALLY edgy and concerning beliefs and me, being a highschooler “black sheep” of the family of course I would have to say something.
Fast forward to the first really weird thing that happened. There was a time where he was in the hospital for a few days. When he was able to come back home he was absolutely fucked up on pills. There was a night that he texted me and said some really weird inappropriate things but in the same message would refer to me as my mothers name. The next day he told my mother and said something along the lines of “I almost sent her nude photos, I was so messed up on pills” . My mom and him completely brushed it off.
As fucked up as that sounds, this is the one situation that haunts me to this day. It was Halloween 2017 and me, my step dad and my mom had a little bonfire on our driveway and handed out candy. They ended up getting a little drunk and they mentioned how they had to stop by his old apartment (he was in the process of moving in still). They were both drunk and I offered to drive them there. While on the way back home from the apartment I was driving and we were blasting music really loudly. He was sitting in the front seat while my mom was in the back. At one point I noticed his arm was reaching the back of the car towards my mom. I thought that maybe he was holding her hand, but then I started hearing sounds of my mom being fingered. And I could see her face in the rear view mirror as well so I knew exactly what was happening. I was in complete and utter shock. I didn’t say anything and I just kept driving and eventually got home and locked away in my room.
Since then it’s something that has stuck with me. I have been in therapy since I was 20 and it has been brought up a bunch. But it feels like no matter how much I process this I still mitigate everything. I don’t think I will ever confront my mom about it, I’m too scared too. A few months ago I brought up the inappropriate text messages he sent me and she said “I didn’t remember that” and a “why didn’t you tell me”. But I did tell her and showed her the messages.
I feel like with the car situation I have a hard time telling if that was sexual assault because I wasn’t physically harmed. And it makes me so upset with how much I have processed from the situation but I still carry a large weight of confusion, disgust and embarrassment.
If you read all of this thank you so much.
submitted by BackgroundWindow456 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 07:38 themainesource 2024/25 NBA Offseason Trades Eastern Conference

Preface: In a lot of these trades you could add or subtract a pick or two based on how you view certain guys, please don't get too caught up if I had a guy traded for 2 1st and you think it should be 3. We see plenty of trades in the league be holy overpays or teams moving off guys for a lower price than we as fans anticipated. Also, a good bit of these trades have big names in them and are just fun/what-if scenarios.
Detroit Pistons
Pistons bring back the hometown guy. Help set some semblance of a culture in Detroit. Get a 1st Round pick swap when Cade should be peaking and Warriors are in their post-Curry era.
Warriors focus should be flexibility, would likely have to attach pick(s) to clear cap space, retool around Curry either in free agency or at the next trade deadline cycle (move on from CP3 and others), and could use 2nds to grab other role players.
Washington Wizards
Wizards are in the asset collecting stage. Whether or not it is the Pelicans/Heat that will trade their guys— the Wizards should look to have their hand in any mid-to-large level trades that take place this offseason and take on cap for assets. It doesn’t move the needle for them now but gives them more ammo later.
While Pat Riley may stand firm on his word and keep Jimmy, there is still a chance he gets moved this offseason. Getting back two wing players on relatively good contracts (Ingram expiring) and Kuzma making a fair $23M, which is a good salary-matching number for trades, might be a better alternative than extending Jimmy Butler. The Heat would also maintain a relatively good fit around Bam and see if BI can be a more consistent contributor under Spo-- then decide to extend him or let him walk after the season.
Brandon Ingram has been shown to take a backseat in the playoffs, and the West is only getting more competitive. While Jimmy isn’t a prolific shooter he would help stabilize their offense and take their defensive potential to the next level. They should seek more shooting even with the emergence of TM3 to feed off the slashing style of their top guys. The Pelicans would have to extend Jimmy and their cap situation would get tighter but their next goal should be moving McCollum off the books anyway. I'd make that move and figure everything else out later.
Charlotte Hornets
Consider this a thought experiment on which side of the fence you are on about the health of Lamelo Ball. Yes, this is a trade that could easily get you fired if he consistently plays 65+ games instead of the ~30ish he has in the last two seasons. I’m not saying it should happen but if you’re on the side of it probably being a consistent theme that he'll be missing the majority of a season every other year this would be an interesting haul for the Hornets. Swap picks this year and get the future Brooklyn picks which as a franchise seem very lost right now— plus it gives you some freedom to push to compete knowing you'll probably have some good picks to fall back on. The Hornets hope to have Jalen Green become a more efficient scorer and get to pair Whitmore's massive frame alongside Brandon Miller which would be intriguing.
Rockets are meddling in that play-in tier. Alperen is him but you may have to take a gamble on another “him” to move into that next echelon. The Rockets would be insanely good at playmaking inside and out pairing Sengun and Ball. Move off the Dillion Brooks overpay and get you a guy that if he plays 65+ plus games you might be in the running for the 4-6 seed every year, if he’s hurt you didn’t give up your own picks to do it.
Toronto Raptors
I never really know what the Raptors intend on doing each transaction cycle but with the Timberwolves cap situation forcing them to make some decisions— the Raptors might be able to poach KAT for a reasonable price. They can buy a high-level shooting big to play off Scottie and RJ. I could see Masai fighting tooth and nail to only give up 1 moderately protected 1st round pick here.
YES, the Timberwolves have just made the WCF, and if they make it to the finals and win they may bite the bullet and be willing to have one of the highest payrolls in the NBA for years to come. But let's say they don't... they may look to avoid some of the constraints that come along with being over the aprons. They could potentially get under the tax aprons with this move, and get some rotational guys that could play and contribute in a competitive Western conference.
Brooklyn Nets
Nets get your picks back. I don’t care if they didn’t accept the Rockets offer, run it back. Or send Mikal somewhere else (Cleveland?) to get those picks back.
I'll give you another Nets trade if you're tired of the Mikal talk.
The Nets get rid of basketball squatter, Ben Simmons, which is a win in my book. Focusing their time and resources on their other guys.
Spurs finally get someone who will pass the ball to Wemby. The Spurs are no strangers to letting guys rest and fully rehab. Simmons most likely won't ever be that all-NBA level defender and distributor again— but as a rebuilding team, you might as well see what you can salvage. Also, Simmons is in the last year of his contract-- they could resign him if he shows signs of being a guy who wants to play basketball or use his vacant salary to round out their roster around Wemby.
Atlanta Hawks
Atlanta has one of the more intriguing offseason decisions coming up with them now owning the first overall pick in the draft. They have a plethora of tradable contracts and only one true untouchable in Jalen Johnson. They could run it back with Sarr or Risacher added in but I believe Murray will be shipped out of Atlanta to "recenter” their team around Young, Johnson, and whoever the first overall pick. They get to try their hand at the other renowned defensive guard over the last 8-years to put next to Trae Young. They could also pick up a fake first in 2026 to attach with players in future deals. The Sixers would hope to get Murray back to displaying the defensive tenacity he showed on the Spurs (he has been less locked in as of late) while still maintaining the ability to go after a high-end free agent(s) before extending Maxey. The Grizzlies get an expiring contract and high-level rebounder in Capela after moving on from Steven Adams to put next to JJJ. Losing Marcus Smart would be a tough pill to swallow, he’s the guy you never want your team to get rid of when they have him but the Morant, Smart, Bane lineup is less than optimal— especially when you can move Bane back to the 2 and slide G.G. Jackson into the 3. Moreover, moving from #9 to #16 may not be that much of a drop off in talent in this year's draft and the Grizz could either stay put and draft or trade that pick for a rotational guard.
Chicago Bulls
Bulls bring in CP3 as a mentor for Coby White, they hope to flush out the MIP runner-up potential to the fullest. They could also flip GP2 or buy him out later down the line as they have a solid backcourt rotation already. Get off of LaVine's contract.
For the Warriors, they would hope that LaVine can return close to all-star form, he feels like a guy who would fit into the Warriors movement shooting philosophy. Also, feels like he would become a fan favorite in San Francisco.
Miami Heat
It's time for the inaugural Tyler Herro mock trade. If you're the Heat you give Danny Ainge a ring and see if he's still interested in Herro. Check the DARKO DPM, Sexton or the sexGod is coming-- He had a very efficient season in fewer minutes this year in Utah. Get a dog and bring Yurt back for the vibes. Heat could include Duncan and take a gamble on Spo's ability to resurrect Collins or Clarkson.
I don't know why the Jazz would do this. I don't know why Danny Ainge does half the things he does, good or bad. All I know is Danny Ainge likes Herro a lot and maybe likes his ceiling a touch more than Sexton.
I'm picturing Ainge and Riley sitting in a sauna turning the temperature knob up and seeing who submits first... winner gets a pick-swap.
Philadelphia 76ers
A dream scenario here for the Sixers as they need to fill the spaces between Maxey and Embiid. Avdija has great length which shows up on the defensive end and has excellent rebounding efficiency from the 4 spot. His shooting improved this last year and would be a massive payoff if it cracked the 40% percentile on 4-5 3PA per game for the Sixers. Wizards likely view Deni as a cornerstone piece (I just really want him on the Sixers).
The Wizards could fetch a higher price for Avdija by holding onto him for one more year and letting him improve (which I believe he will do). The sell here is you get more 1st Round Pick equity to spend while you’re still searching for a legit franchise cornerstone and a solid rotational big in Reed after losing Gafford (Gafford is better than Reed). The Wizards reportedly want 3 first-round picks this year which the Sixers could supply plus additional capital to sweeten the deal.
Indiana Pacers
The Pacers move on from a guy who has fallen out of their playoff rotation and snag Kennard who fits their run-and-gun style of play. Grizzlies pick up Smith to bolster their frontcourt depth and could pair his length with JJJ to make for some nasty interior defense.
Orlando Magic *unserious\*
The Magic are in big need of a real rim protector and Robert Williams is a high-level rim defender. His biggest detriment to the Magic would be his spacing as he'd occupy driving lanes for Banchero and Wagner. The other side of this trade is more of a funny scenario to me as I think the Bulls front office would do this trade to prop up a former #1 pick as a sign to the fans that they are serious about contending, which they aren’t.
Cleveland Cavaliers
Preface: This only works if Lebron wants out. The Cavs get to roll organically into the Lebron farewell tour and try to retain Mitchell long-term by pairing him with Lebron. Lebron, Mitchell, and Mobley have a very similar feel to the Lebron, Wade, and Bosh Heat… not quite as good of course but the archetypes are there. Also, pick up a stretch five in Olynyk which Lebron would appreciate. The Lakers have limited leverage because Lebron can opt out, so they might as well get an All-Star level talent in return for him. Raptors just try to get in the mix, by picking up a young center and some draft capital.
Milwaukee Bucks
Don’t have much to say here. Pat Connaughton is probably the one contract they could/should move to snag a veteran who’s a bit younger than Pat but with more versatility at the wing spot, they’d pray for Cody Martin to pop off their bench. I just don’t see Doc playing young guys unless his hand is forced. Hornets take a flier on Jackson. You could toss in some protected seconds to the Bucks to replenish their draft stores.
New York Knicks
Who knows how a 36-year-old Bojan recovering from a foot injury will look next year? They'll likely lose Hartenstein in free agency (if they don't use his bird rights) and will need someone who can play a similar role. Get some athletic freaks and depth that Thibs can use to carry out his war crimes.
Trailblazers eat the Bogdanovic contract for draft capital.
Boston Celtics
There’s something about Kispert that feels like he should be a Celtic… I don’t know what it is. The C’s need win-now contributors and could look to move the 30th pick. Kispert is a solid rotation guy that the Wizards like and would be somewhat hard to pluck him from them. I think it’d be worth a shot for the C’s to kick the tires and find out his value.
submitted by themainesource to nbamocks [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 07:36 mayday_loveme1994 Update to my journey

I have been posting/commenting on here for a while now. I started my Cushings journey in September of last year and I feel incredibly lucky to have found this subreddit because it helped me so much. Being able to read and speak to those who are going through/have gone through similar things has been so helpful. I know that I wouldn’t have had nearly as much courage to advocate for myself because I wouldn’t have the knowledge and warnings from this subreddit.
I apologize now for any spelling mistakes. To be honest it’s 1:34AM on a Tuesday morning. I am so tired but I can’t sleep. I am a ball of anxiety at this point due to my upcoming MRI and I cannot think about anything else. I’m writing this in part just to get my anxiety out.
To make a long story short, I discovered I had high cortisol last year in September. I decided to finally go to my primary care doctor and talk to her about my difficulties losing weight. My family has a history of thyroid issues so she tested that along with many other things. She just happened to think to test my cortisol and when it was very high, she expressed concern that it could be cushings (due to the many symptoms I’d shared with her that could be cushings) and she referred me to an endo.
I started seeing the endo and my blood cortisol has been tested many times and it’s high every time. However, my urine was normal, my midnight saliva was normal and I suppressed on dexamethasone. But still every time she orders me a cortisol blood test, it’s high. My acth is also either normal or on the verge of high.
She expressed concern that I had so many normal tests. Due to this subreddit, I asked if it could be cyclical cushings. She agreed it could be and that I do have many of the symptoms. She also couldn’t come up with another reason why my cortisol would be so high. We agreed that we didn’t want to treat the symptom but rather find the cause. So she finally agreed to order me an MRI of my abdomen. She decided that if anything, it’s more likely to be adrenal, but then my MRI was unremarkable.
I saw her again after my abdomen MRI results and we agreed we are at an impasse. I shared with her that I still think it could be cushings, because I have read many stories similar to mine where people still had it (mostly pituitary source). I also expressed that I didn’t want to take the chance of this being the case, but missing it and then just not knowing.
She agreed again with me that it was possible and at this point she didn’t have any other ideas. She also agreed that it’s better to know. She agreed to order me a brain MRI, with and without contrast, focused on the pituitary. She did tell me she was worried my insurance would not cover it due to my normal results even though I have many high blood cortisols. However, the MRI was approved by my insurance (I do think she had to do a bit of convincing). She also told me that it could always be endoscopic cushings which she isn’t sure how to go about finding/diagnosing. She mentioned to me that if nothing is found on my brain MRI, that she would suggest I get a second opinion from somewhere like UPENN since they have a whole cushings team. Of course, you first meet with their endo and then they decide if there is cause for you to see the cushings team. She was able to admit to me that if there is nothing on my brain MRI she just isn’t sure what else to do for me. She said she would of course consult her colleagues to see if they have any ideas, but if not she doesn’t have any ideas or answers for me as to why my cortisol is high. Like she said, it could very well still be cushings, just endoscopic, but she just isn’t sure how to go about even looking into that.
Honestly, I really appreciate her honesty and bluntness. She has been very caring and understanding throughout this process and I feel like she really listens to me. I also appreciate that she will admit her lack of knowledge in this area and refer me elsewhere. I had already been looking into UPENN anyway just in case since it’s never a bad idea for a second opinion and since they’re so close it makes sense. At lease since they have cushings specialists, if I go there and they tell me there is no reason to think it’s cushings-I trust that.
But for now, my brain/pituitary MRI is scheduled for tomorrow (Wednesday 5/22). I am scared they are going to find a pituitary tumor, but in many ways I’m more scared that they won’t. No one in my life understands me when I say that, and I know that I have been a lot luckier than some in my journey. But to be honest these last few years have been the toughest/worst of my entire life for so many reasons. I am so beaten down emotionally and mentally. I have just known something was wrong but I couldn’t explain it and I couldn’t prove it, but now there’s at least proof that something is going on-even if we don’t know what. I am just so sick of all the test and doctors. I am sick of feeling awful. Part of me just wants it to be over. Wants them to find something because then at least it’s confirmed-I was right. And then if I know what it is-I know what to do about it and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The worst part is having to explain to a doctor that you know something is wrong and explain how. Having to explain all these symptoms that seem random but might not be. Having to wonder if I will ever find out what is wrong and feel better, questioning my sanity. At least if they find something-that means it’s real and not just in my head. It means we can make a plan and I can work towards getting better.
I don’t know what I want more-not to have a tumor or to have a tumor. It feels wrong to hope for a tumor-to hope I can be officially confirmed and diagnosed as sick. But I am sick of my family and friends telling me that I’m worried for nothing. The last thing I want to do is have to start all over with new doctors, explain the same stuff and do all the same tests again. I cannot get multiple blood tests every week forever. I will go crazy-crazIER.
Not to mention that I’m extremely claustrophobic and MRIs are hell. I have to get my primary care doctor to prescribe me a very strong anti-anxiety pill to take beforehand so that I don’t have a panic attack. This journey has been tiring every step of the way. I don’t want to put myself through this but I will just to know what’s wrong.
TLDR MRI of abdomen was unremarkable, brain MRI is this Wednesday (tomorrow) and I am terrified because I’m claustrophobic but also that they won’t find anything and then I’ll have to start this whole process over when I go to UPENN for a second opinion.
Thanks if you read this. I am always sending the best vibes for all of you, please send some good vibes my ways. I hope I find out I am right on Wednesday so I can finally, officially, begin planning my treatment/recovery.
submitted by mayday_loveme1994 to Cushings [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 07:15 ThaneBloke Parents found out I'm on Testosterone

I (18) started testosterone about a month ago while I was still at Uni in a different country. I started the process in December and finalized it in April due to problems with faxing and whatnot. Unfortunately, I'm entirely dependent on my parents. As a diabetic, they pay for the medication I need to live for more than a few days or weeks.
My mom took me on vacation a week ago and we're currently sharing a bed as there's only 2 beds here. This also means we share a room and, because we flew here, share a medical bag. I managed to get through TSA with my testosterone in my backpack instead of the medical bag, but the day after we landed I had to take my shot so I put it in the Ziploc bag with my pills (antidepressant and birth control).
I'm not sure who found out first - mom or dad - but they talk to each other all the time about everything so it doesn't really matter. Either mom saw the vial or dad saw the stashed box and needles in my dresser drawer after putting my dried clothes away.
For context, I came out when I was 12, a year after I found out and the year my family left the Mormon church. This also happens to be the time I started middle school and became friends with a guy that would become an abuser that HAPPENED to be gay. He wasn't attracted to me as he had his own issues and exclusively "dated" men over 19 despite being 12 himself. When I was forced out by my parents, they ignored it. I came out 6 times after that in 4 years and they continued to either ignore it or simply blame it on the abusive "friend."
This is why I waited until Uni to start the process for testosterone. Also because the country I'm going to school in has slightly more lax rules about it so it wouldn't take forever to get me started even as a diabetic.
My mom came into the shared room to hang up some shirts so they could dry and brought it up.
"How long have you been on Testosterone?"
"About a month..."
"Well, your dad already took the money out of your account. You knew that was the agreement."
I genuinely don't remember that agreement. I do have a shit memory, but still. It doesn't even matter because I logged into all 3 of my bank accounts (2 for home country, 1 for Uni country) and none of them have lost any money.
I'm genuinely terrified for how this will go down. They've never been supportive and I'm currently visiting the more conservative side of my family. I'm genuinely debating asking my friend if I can crash with her because I've never felt comfortable talking with my family about anything LGBT.
I don't know how to explain to them that I wouldn't have started testosterone if I didn't need it to feel comfortable with myself. I'm losing so much by starting it. Not just money but currently and future relationships, future opportunities, and even my own safety in the world. What would I gain from faking being trans to the point of permanently changing my body that could even remotely beat the downsides? I've been anticipating the noticable changes like facial hair and bottom growth (which has already started and is lowkey uncomfortably) and a deeper voice. They've never believed me... and they still wonder why I don't tell them things. Maybe this is why.
Maybe this is why I can't talk to them or have a real conversation. Maybe this is why I isolate myself from family whenever I can. Maybe this is why I lie or omit details about medical issues for literal years until I have to give some minor details so they can make an appointment. Maybe this is why I (tw) self harmed for 4 years with some relapses in the last 2 years - and the relapses were solely because of them. I hate that by being myself I'm losing family but another part of me realises that they were never family to begin with if they couldn't accept me regardless of who I turned out to be.
I'm just terrified of what's going to be said when my dad shows up this weekend or what my mom/dad will say when we're alone. I can pretend to be tough in front of them but the second they're gone I will cry and I will think of running or dropping them the second I can live without them. Until then, I'm stuck here and it feels like hell.
Edit: I should add that I bought 3 binders with my own money between the ages of 14 and 16. My parents sold all of them against my wishes and never gave me the money they earned from them.
submitted by ThaneBloke to FTMventing [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 06:51 Proof_Ad_5770 Another anniversary

Huh, so I just realized that this coming weekend will be 10 years since the last time I was physically sexually assaulted.
I was molested by a neighbor during pre-school so don’t know what the Anniversary date of that was, and was raped/molested/traded out by my older brother from 3rd grade - 8th grade so don’t really have any Anniversary dates for that Just other triggers. I was gang raped by a group of high schoolers when I was in 6th grade but it all blended in with everything else and I knew I couldn’t tell anyone after what happened when I told my mom about the neighbor and my brother when I was 10 so no real adversary date for that either. My older brother tried to rape me one last time when I was 18 in August but again, just blends. When I was 23 I had a stalker for a year that broke in 3 times and raped me but that was back in the early 2000’s when universities didn’t take that stuff seriously at all so I just tried to kill myself. It wasn’t the first time. The first time I tried that was when I was 10 and my mom yelled at me for trying to embarrass her. Just like later when I started to cut myself she said that if I messed up her summer plans she would kill me, I guess if I had been smarter I could have gotten her to kill me instead of trying to hang myself and taking jars of pills.
My liver was destroyed at 20 years old from trying to kill myself with Tylenol… No one tells kids that they pump your stomach but Tylenol destroys your liver and kills you slowly.
Anyway so where was I? Oh my early 20’s. Things calmed down for a little bit other than having an unmedicated traumatized bipolar husband and having to take care of him and my mother and brother and everyone else because I’m a people pleaser and have no value.
Oh I forgot to talk about how I was stabbed in the face and my brother used to test the sharpness of his knives on me and hold me down and burn me with a magnifying glass. He was the golden child and I had to testify in court about what a great role model he was and great big brother when he was arrested for bringing a gun to school.
So my husband liked to open our marriage every once in a while which I am not a fan of but no one loves me anyway so there it is and fast forward to 2014 and I was hospitalized for trying to kill myself again and was unconscious for several days because I got much better at getting the pill mix right and I tried to have friends for a change which I never do and so went camping with friends and woke you with an uninvited dick k in my mouth that I just didn’t want there and then he kicked the crap out of me and told everyone I messed up his vibes… so back to not having friends.
I have done everything in my power to make my life as good as possible since then. I have always worked hard and has respectable jobs and taken care of the people around me…
Now I have a neighbor who threatens to rape and kill me regularly and has for a year and a half (he’s been arrested for felony stalking and threats but they released him and keep pushing back trial so I can’t go outside other than to run to my car for work), my brother who abused me stole everything from my parents after they died even though I took care of them 24/7 and did all the worker to take care of their estates so I’m in a court case against him but never want to see his child raping ass again, my last job literally bullied me so badly because I’m autistic that I could barely function and they broke tons off laws but I can’t ignore stuff like that or injustice so now I’m a plaintiff in a case against them as well… my husband… he’s always unhappy and snippy and never hears a word I say it’s about him or something he wants.
And last week a client I was driving home described how he wanted to rape me in great detail and my boss acted like I should just be cool with that.
Today a client offered to have sex with me. I know I’m fat/ugly/unfashionable and I always nip anything inappropriate in the bud when they hint at it - but there it is.
Honestly, in the other side of all that with a husband who has no interest in me except how he sees me fulfilling his image of his goals and needs but who has been going through a medicating juggling nightmare for 5 years and sees straight through me, I need to get laid so bad (a I am not going to have sex with my client, not even an option, I have crazy strict levels of ethics and it would be har full/predatory to him and I actually do the work I do to HELP folks.)
Why can’t someone ever like me for me though and not sick transference ways or just using me?
Why do I bring this shit out in people?
submitted by Proof_Ad_5770 to CPTSD [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 06:34 Typical-Car2782 CBTI effectiveness

TL;DR - after several years of bad sleep, I exhausted every other treatment and am now in CBTI. But CBTI feels like they're treating a different person with different sleep issues. Does it actually work? (I know there are papers claiming that it works, but the execution seems so terrible, I don't see how it could work.)
M47. Around 3.5-4 years ago, my sleep started to degrade and I began to have memory issues. I've jumped through a lot of hoops since then - three sleep studies, 10 months of CPAP (only for the lab sleep study to show inconsequential sleep apnea), urologist/ultrasound showing no issues, etc. I'm now doing CBTI (with my second provider, the first was useless.) That last sleep study showed that my sleep goes through all of the normal steps, and I'm not being woken up by a need to urinate or leg movement or any other potential issue.
My basic sleep pattern is:
  1. Take THC edibles (20 mg is best) prior to bedtime
  2. Lay down, turn off lights, fall asleep within 5 minutes (never had an issue with sleep latency)
  3. Wake up after ~90 minutes
  4. Lie there for a couple of minutes, get up and go to the bathroom, come back, fall asleep in a few minutes
  5. Repeat steps 3-4, but at some point, I can't fall asleep again
  6. If it's 3:30 or earlier, take more edibles (5-10 mg)
The CBTI provider is very focused on, as a first step, getting me to stop taking the additional dose in the middle of the night. He now wants me to take sleeping pills to get me to sleep all night with just the nighttime dose. He suggested Dayvigo, but my PCP said she wouldn't prescribe it; she said if I wanted sleeping pills, I should start with Trazodone, and only if that didn't work, should I move on to something else.
I really don't have much faith in CBTI at this point. Though my new provider is better, it always feels like they're trying to force-fit me into somebody else's symptoms. I tried to cut my THC use at the provider's request, but I end up having a terrible night's sleep after 5 or 6 nights, and it seems like CBTI says I need to just suck it up and somehow make it through the day.
I told the CBTI guy that the day after a poor sleep (say 4 hours) are very difficult. My cognitive capabilities are extremely degraded - I have more memory trouble than usual, and I will often just trail off in the middle of a sentence or lose track of what I was doing. I also feel like I'm a danger driving home from work. I have a 50-mile drive and at the 30-35 mile mark, I have to talk to someone on the phone and pull on my hair or dig into my scalp to stay awake. Thankfully I'm only going in two days/week.
CBTI guy seemed to dispute my reality. Something about how one bad sleep shouldn't do this to me, and that people find out that they don't quite perceive the impact of their sleep issues correctly. Say what you want, but I think I'm a pretty good judge of when I feel like I'm going to crash into the divider on the highway.
It all feels very adversarial. The first provider I had was atrocious. She would get mad at me for using the term "sleep cycles", she told me that my radar sleep sensor doesn't work even though she didn't know what it was (and I tried to explain that I merely use it to keep track of how many times I got out of bed during the night, which it's really good at, but she wouldn't listen), and even got annoyed at me for saying I wake up 4-5 times/night because in reality I have additional imperceptible wakes (the sleep study showed 14 total) but it should be obvious that I'm only talking about the ones I notice!
In my most recent appointment with the new guy, I told him that I tried taking THC only at bedtime as we discussed, but eventually I ended up getting a really bad sleep, and all I can think about the next day is how I'm going to go to bed early and get more sleep to make up for the previous night. He threw out the whole "paradoxically, that doesn't work to go to bed earlier, you need to maintain the same bedtime and wake time." This feels like he's just grafting CBTI dogma onto me. Yes, many people who have insomnia do not get more sleep if they go to bed earlier. But I do! And if we have no plan and we're messing with my THC dosage, I'd much rather recover from a bad night's sleep than do some sleep hygiene b.s. that has not been shown to improve your sleep.
I asked how many weeks the treatment would take if we went down the sleeping pills path and it took forever to pin him down at 8 weeks. I said it would be good to give me a doctor's note so that I don't need to drive into the office. He thought this was very weird (it was actually suggested to me by the previous provider) and unnecessary. But if we're going to restrict my sleep and make me exhausted, why would you want me to do something that's dangerous to myself and others?
I could go on. It feels like the goal is to find fault with what I say and do, but without offering me any details into what the plan is. I told him today that I needed a schedule with stages and I couldn't deal with these ad hoc modifications to my sleep. He agreed but said it would take him time to do it - am I the first person who ever asked for this?
Does this sound like typical CBTI?
submitted by Typical-Car2782 to sleep [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 05:53 freemaxbwaves The Secret Subliminal War Between Kendrick Lamar and Drake

The Secret Subliminal War Between Kendrick Lamar and Drake
I don’t think people realize that Drake and Kendrick have been having a back and forth in their songs since before "First Person Shooter." Yes, we all know they’ve been sending subliminals to each other for over a decade and have been beefing for a while now, but since "DAMN.," no one has really paid attention to the subliminals in their music, and they’ve been directly responding to each other in songs for a while now.
Here’s some backstory on where I think this modern beef started. On March 5, 2021, Drake released the song "What’s Next." The song was originally supposed to have Baby Keem on it, but his verse was left off, and it was just Drake on the song. I’m just going to leave this information here because it might play into the later disses.
Family Ties
August 27, 2021
Where I think the disses really start is on "Family Ties" with Kendrick Lamar. This song is the first official collaboration between Keem and Kendrick. It comes five months after What’s Next. In Kendrick’s verse, he states that he’s:
"Smokin' on your top five tonight, tonight
Yeah, I'm smokin' on your, what's his name, tonight, tonight."
This could be aimed at anybody in the game, but I think it’s directly targeted towards Drake based on the “what’s his name,” since Drake and Rihanna have a song called “What’s My Name.” Kendrick is saying he’s smoking on Drake.
Throughout Kendrick’s verse, he starts calling himself the GOAT and explains why he’s been absent in the game before this. At the end of the track, Baby Keem says:
"Number two DM'ing my bitch
That's cool, I don't ask why."
"Number two" here refers to Drake, as number one would be Kendrick Lamar. Drake is known for DMing people’s girls and stuff like that; Baby Keem says Drake is DMing his girl and is confused.
Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers
https://preview.redd.it/f8c3x1uhbp1d1.png?width=300&format=png&auto=webp&s=042914e480929880962297dff8e7f1c585752c02
It’s been about a year since "Family Ties," and Kendrick releases his next studio album in five years. The album is supposed to address his demons and is about his growth and maturity through therapy. I think there are some subliminal on here towards Drake.
Father Time
This entire track is Kendrick addressing the issue of parenthood, specifically fatherhood, and the toxic nature of present and absent fathers due to the toxic masculinity that is passed through generations. It’s interesting that this is the track where Kendrick directly mentions Drake's name since we know later on Kendrick would call Drake a bad/absent father and call his father absent as well.
"When Kanye got back with Drake, I was slightly confused
Guess I'm not mature as I think, got some healin' to do."
Kanye and Drake got back together for the Larry Hoover concert, and here Kendrick is confused about why Kanye “made up” with Drake. He realized he’s not as mature as he thinks and has some healing to do because he wouldn’t get back with Drake like Kanye did.
Rich Spirit
I think "Rich Spirit" might be the real warning shot towards Drake. I also think this is a direct reply to "Toosie Slide." The entire "Rich Spirit" video is him alone in his house, away from fame and society. There are a lot of lines here that, in retrospect, seem to be Kendrick telling Drake what a real “Rich Spirit” is. For example:
"Takin' my baby to school, then I pray for her."
This is something Kendrick directly attacks Drake for in his diss tracks.
"And celebrity do not mean integrity, you fool."
Kendrick is saying that celebrity does not equal integrity. He also uses this same angle in his diss tracks later on.
"Stop playin' with me 'fore I turn you to a song (Yeah)
Stop playin' with me 'fore I turn you to a song (Ooh)."
This is pretty obvious. Kendrick is telling Drake to stop playing with him before he turns him into a song (diss track) like he did with "Not Like Us."
Here’s where I think it gets even more obvious:
"Ayy, clout chasing hell of a disease, brother
I'm fasting four days out the week, brother
I pray to God that you realize the entourage is dead
I pray to God that you not lackin' when you off the meds
I pray to God she knows them Cabo trips don't last forever
Bet she argues with her momma, go and get them kids."
Everything Kendrick says here is exactly what he says to Drake in his diss tracks. He mentions meds, his entourage is against him, calls him out for his trips to islands, and calls him a clout chaser. This is clearly referencing Drake.
These lines directly reference J Prince, like he does in "Euphoria":
"I pray to God you actually pray when somebody dies
Thoughts and prayers, way better off timelines
False claimin' not cute, I'm mortified
The new Earth in hot pursuit, two-hundred lives."
He says the exact same thing to J Prince in "Euphoria."
He also says:
“I would never live my life on the computer IG'll get you life for a chikabooya More power to ya, love 'em from a distance Why you always in the mirror more than the bitches?”
Drake is known for his antics online and Instagram captions/Internet culture. This one’s also pretty obvious.
Honestly, Nevermind
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Drake responds to Kendrick on his album "Honestly, Nevermind." What’s important to realize here is that this album dropped on Kendrick’s birthday. The entire album is club-inspired music and was something people did not expect, and he dropped it on Kendrick’s birthday on purpose. It was to showcase to Kendrick that he can make music that Kendrick couldn’t. The entire album is club-inspired music except for the last track “Sticky” with 21 Savage. On this track, Drake states:
"Couple hits, now you brave, boy
You n**** better behave (What)
All that pumpin' up your chest (What)
All that talk about the best (What)
You know how sticky it gets."
He’s telling Kendrick to behave and stop talking about how he’s the best like he did on "Family Ties." Now what’s very interesting is that Kendrick & Baby Keem directly respond to this track on "The Hillbillies." I don’t think people realize that "The Hillbillies" is a direct response to this. But before The Hillbillies was the "America Has a Problem" remix with Beyoncé. This entire verse is clearly a Drake diss.
America Has a Problem Remix
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"Geeked up, choosy love, well, they chose violence
Universal, please don't play possum
I'm a businessman doin' as follows
Truthfully, I be lyin' in my rap song
'Cause I always fail to mention I'd slap homie
His career didn't come with no life insurance
Hope his day-one fans got some facts on him."
He calls out Universal (UMG), saying he’s just a businessman doing as he chooses. He states that he’s lying in songs because he fails to mention he’ll slap somebody. He states that this person's career didn’t come with life insurance and hopes his day-one fans have some facts on him. He’s clearly referring to Drake here.
"Them diamonds don't be fly, they all CGI
You better get it off your chest like breast reduction
If she stressed over you, she stressed for nothin'."
In these lines, he calls Drake's diamonds fake and states that Drake should get it off his chest like breast reduction. He’s mocking his surgery yet again. Then the “if she stressed over you, she stressed for nothing” is a subliminal towards Drake’s latest album before this track, "Her Loss," stating that it’s not her loss since if she’s stressed over Drake, she isn’t stressed for anything.
Next, he says:
"Even AI gotta practice clonin' Kendrick
The double entendre, the encore remnants
I bop like ten men, the opps need ten men."
During the time when this track came out, there was AI Drake music blowing up. Kendrick is saying that even AI needs to practice to clone him, using a double entendre to imply he’s unmatched. He is saying the opps “need ten men” aka the ghostwriters, he is calling Drake easily replaceable. Now onto The Hillbillies.
The Hillbillies
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"The Hillbillies" was released on May 30, 2023. The entire track is completely different from the music that Kendrick normally makes. It’s a track where he’s flexing, and it’s over a club-inspired beat and flow. Baby Keem even called it a “Sticky” remix. So this track is basically Kendrick saying that he can do what Drake did on "Honestly, Nevermind," but better.
First, let’s look at the title of the track. It is called “The Hillbillies.”
On "Sticky," Drake says that he’s:
"King of the hill, you know it's a steep one."
Drake calls himself the king of the hill, Kendrick & Keem call themselves the Hillbillies, you get it.
Now let’s look at some lines in the track:
"Messi, get them girls off the stage, 'cause somebody's gonna get taken
Somebody's gonna invade on a one-on-one conversation
I'm ducked off from the world, I'm immersed in the PlayStation."
This is a direct response to "Sticky" when Drake says:
"Ayo Eric, bring them girls to the stage
'Cause somebody's getting paid."
Throughout this entire track, Kendrick and Keem are mocking Drake and his flow on "Sticky," showcasing they can do anything he can do and better. They’re rapping about the things he’ll rap about. Also what I find interesting about the music video is that they have Tyler in it and announce that they will be headlining Camp Flog Gnaw in the video, where Drake famously got booed off stage. Could be a reach but still.
In July a month after this track, Drake on stage during his tour said “he is not like those rappers who disappear for 4 or 5 years”. So another subliminal towards Kendrick.
Meltdown
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Drake responds to the disses on "Meltdown," which was released two months later on Travis Scott’s album. While this verse is mainly about Kanye/Pusha, I also think it can relate to Kendrick as well.
"I love to fuck on a regular bitch
Famous hoes lame, but they stay on my dick
Heard your new joint, it's embarrassing, shit."
On "Hillbillies," Kendrick/Keem rap about wanting a regular girl instead of a famous girl, and on "Meltdown," Drake says the same thing, also calling their new stuff embarrassing.
"Your bodyguard put in some work on a fluke
Now you wanna go and inherit that shit
Don't talk to
the boy 'bout comparisons, shit
Or come to the boy on some arrogant shit."
More bodyguards talk, and he’s telling people not to compare him to anybody. We all know who he really means.
“I melt down the chains that I bought from yo' boss
Give a fuck about all of that heritage shit.”
Kendrick directly responds to this, saying he inherited the beef from Pharrell since Drake was disrespecting him. Now here’s where I think it gets obvious. On the second verse, Travis says:
"The boy going Lionel Messi, I go Tom Brady (Woo)."
In the track "The Hillbillies," Keem is calling Kendrick Messi and himself Neymar. Now in this track, which comes out two months later, Drake is comparing himself to Messi.
Also he says in this song "You act like you love this American shit, but really the truth is you scared of the 6" which could be a response to the title "America Has a Problem", this might be a reach though.
First Person Shooter
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After "Meltdown," we get "First Person Shooter," which we all know ignited this beef even further. I have a theory about this track, though. I believe that Drake originally sent Kendrick the track to hop on, but Kendrick denied the feature request. I think the original "First Person Shooter" was going to feature Drake, Cole, and Kendrick rapping over the first beat of the song. I believe the beat switch was made after Kendrick denied the feature request, and Drake added it later. This is why Kendrick says on his diss tracks:
"Surprised you sent that feature request, you know we got some shit to address" and "Did Cole foul, I don’t know why you still pretending."
Drake wanted to squash the subliminal beef he had with Kendrick with the feature request, and when Kendrick denied it, he thought it was real beef.
Look at the second half of "FPS":
"My youngins richer than you rappers and they all stream
I really hate that you been sellin' them some false dreams
Man, if your pub was up for sale, I buy the whole thing
Will they ever give me flowers? Well, of course not
They don't wanna have that talk, 'cause it's a sore spot
They know The Boy, the one they gotta boycott
I told Jimmy Jam I use a GRAMMY as a door stop."
Drake gets way more aggressive in the second half of the track and states that Kendrick is selling people false dreams, he is broke, they won't give him his flowers, he is at the top, and that he doesn't care about GRAMMYs (which is what Drake mocks Kendrick for in "Family Matters").
Then he says:
"What the fuck, bro? I'm one away from Michael
N***, beat it, n****, beat it, what?"
He compares himself to Michael Jackson and even says he will beat his record, which Kendrick directly responds to in "Like That." At the end of the track, Drake says: "Don't even pay me back on none of them favors, I don't need it."
We know that Drake feels like he put on Kendrick and that Kendrick would be nowhere without him, so he rubs that in his face. This verse is where I think Kendrick really took it as a threat rather than just the big three line. That was a part of it, but I think this is what really set Kendrick off. Also interestingly in this video Drake recreates the Messi/Ronaldo picture with J. Cole and compares himself to Messi AGAIN.
Another thing, in the second verse Drake says:
“I click the trigger on the stick like a high beam”
So in Like That when Kendrick says “if he walk around with that stick, it ain’t Andre 3k” it could be reffering to this line as well since that track is a direct response to this song. At first most people thought the stick line was about Cole but we know Kendrick calls out Drake for acting tough later on, so it could be a response to this line as well.
Red Button
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A month after this track, Drake releases “Red Button” on "Scary Hours 3," and I also think this is about Kendrick Lamar (and Kanye, but we are focusing on Dot here).
This entire track, Drake is warning people that if he presses his red button, it will be over for certain people. This red button thing obviously refers to Kendrick since during their diss tracks, Drake was constantly talking about pushing the red button and posting images of red buttons.
“N**** think it's sweet, but I am not a diabetic patient
No, I will start blackin' over here like it's segregation
I will fuckin' double-cross you n**** like it's meditation
I'll give you a hard pill to swallow, this your medication
I will fuckin' pop up on your ass like a revelation
I could tell you better than I show you, this a demonstration
I will fuckin' leave you in the dirt like some vegetation
Chemicals is mixin' in my brain and killin' hesitation
I will fuckin' force a few shots like a vaccination
I'll get to you ten years from now like procrastination
I'll fuckin' find out wherever y'all are celebratin'
Pull up, park my Phantom on the curb like I'm Larry David
And then we'll see who's really crazy”
I have a feeling this is about Kendrick specifically based on the words he’s choosing to talk about, like segregation and procrastination. Things that he makes fun of Kendrick for in his latest disses.
After this we know what happens, Kendrick responds on Like That and the beef really ignites with the diss tracks coming out.
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2024.05.21 04:24 Ginger_Anomaly I know most are not doctors here but does anyone know what the difference is between Norco and Percocet?

I know one has hydrocodone and the other has oxycodone but Percocet works better for me to where I had a fully functioning life and thriving law career and now I can’t walk, do laundry, take showers (need help from my husband), I’m basically bedridden. My husband already has 2 jobs to support us and I’m a full time job and he’s getting burned out. I want to be back on Percocet bc I know it works so much better, but my doc said to me a while ago will never change my meds (I’m on norco 7.5) even if I develop tolerance, he doesn’t care. My sister was there and vouched for me when I showed him a picture when I was 80 pounds lighter and fully functioning and he said what’s different and I said idk I was on Percocet and it worked. I just don’t know if changing to Percocet is like Vicodin to norco. I want to advocate for myself again and don’t know if I’m asking for a stronger drug cuz then he will probably just say no. But, I was so different and the pain was gone. I had a great life full of travel and working hard. Now I can’t even walk up my stairs and don’t think that’s fair. So I was curious bc I googled but it didn’t really tell me anything.
submitted by Ginger_Anomaly to ChronicPain [link] [comments]

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