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2024.05.21 15:21 Squallvash Do you think 1 of each gang is enough to start arbitrating?
So my group is getting into Necromunda. We're dipping our toes into the water.
Me- Arbitrator Friend- undecided Brother- slave ogryn
I'm going to be Arbitrator. I'd like for this campaign to be as narrative as possible, with both players playing most if not all the games and various NPCs taking part.
I've got access to an Escher gang, the full range of Orlock gang, goliath, slave ogryn, delaque, the full range of palatine enforcers, vehicles, terrain, 40k armies, (sisters, eldar, tau, marines, tyranids, genestealers, guardsmen, 5 or 6 kill teams) cultists, just random assortments of monsters,, and HELLA proxies as well as a few of the rule books though i'm purchasing a copy of the newest core rulebook just to have something physical to read. And thanks to my wife I have a TON of terrain I can use.
Ideally i'd like 1 of every gang as opposition to them. Some stronger than others to make Necromunda more of a vibrant world.
The biggest reason we want Necromunda is because we want to play a narrative setting. 2/3s of us like 40k but we all still play, and we all like the way Kill Team plays. The problem with those games is that Narrative is "at best" tacked on and uninventive and at worst just bad.
Necromunda seems to blend what I like from Cyberpunk settings (games like Shadowrun) with what I like about 40k (the people, the common folks and how shitty life can be).
And I can see Necromunda becoming our go to TTRPG Skirmish game. The size of the gangs leads to a smaller (read cheaper) investment.
My idea (ideally) would be that they have their separate gangs and just as a narrative twist, they have Juve characters that go off and build their own gang (with blackjack and hookers) using money they've been skimming off the top while leveling up themselves in the process.
Sort of a "started from the bottom now we here".
ssentially giving them each 1 gang along with a joint gang they can both play as for other missions. Making the game a 2 part game of sorts. 1 part is their life in their original gangs while both helping and undermining the gang and part 2 would be building the other gang.
I'd like to try them keeping their stats on their character card and roleplaying with them in a 1 page RPG style (fate, monster of the week, PBTA) using their stats as how many dice they get to achieve a successful action for them obtaining new characters and exploring the world.
Is this too much?
Does the system even work for this?
Have others done this that I can work with?
Would my campaign idea even work?
Is this wholly unnecessary?
Have I missed the mark on what Necromunda is and can bring to the table?
Am I just replacing one plastic crack addiction with another?
Are there online resources one can use to streamline learning after legally purchasing a copy of the book?
Any other resources or knowledge any of you experienced players can provide would be excellent.
submitted by Squallvash to necromunda [link] [comments]
Me- Arbitrator Friend- undecided Brother- slave ogryn
I'm going to be Arbitrator. I'd like for this campaign to be as narrative as possible, with both players playing most if not all the games and various NPCs taking part.
I've got access to an Escher gang, the full range of Orlock gang, goliath, slave ogryn, delaque, the full range of palatine enforcers, vehicles, terrain, 40k armies, (sisters, eldar, tau, marines, tyranids, genestealers, guardsmen, 5 or 6 kill teams) cultists, just random assortments of monsters,, and HELLA proxies as well as a few of the rule books though i'm purchasing a copy of the newest core rulebook just to have something physical to read. And thanks to my wife I have a TON of terrain I can use.
Ideally i'd like 1 of every gang as opposition to them. Some stronger than others to make Necromunda more of a vibrant world.
The biggest reason we want Necromunda is because we want to play a narrative setting. 2/3s of us like 40k but we all still play, and we all like the way Kill Team plays. The problem with those games is that Narrative is "at best" tacked on and uninventive and at worst just bad.
Necromunda seems to blend what I like from Cyberpunk settings (games like Shadowrun) with what I like about 40k (the people, the common folks and how shitty life can be).
And I can see Necromunda becoming our go to TTRPG Skirmish game. The size of the gangs leads to a smaller (read cheaper) investment.
My idea (ideally) would be that they have their separate gangs and just as a narrative twist, they have Juve characters that go off and build their own gang (with blackjack and hookers) using money they've been skimming off the top while leveling up themselves in the process.
Sort of a "started from the bottom now we here".
ssentially giving them each 1 gang along with a joint gang they can both play as for other missions. Making the game a 2 part game of sorts. 1 part is their life in their original gangs while both helping and undermining the gang and part 2 would be building the other gang.
I'd like to try them keeping their stats on their character card and roleplaying with them in a 1 page RPG style (fate, monster of the week, PBTA) using their stats as how many dice they get to achieve a successful action for them obtaining new characters and exploring the world.
Is this too much?
Does the system even work for this?
Have others done this that I can work with?
Would my campaign idea even work?
Is this wholly unnecessary?
Have I missed the mark on what Necromunda is and can bring to the table?
Am I just replacing one plastic crack addiction with another?
Are there online resources one can use to streamline learning after legally purchasing a copy of the book?
Any other resources or knowledge any of you experienced players can provide would be excellent.
2024.05.21 15:01 SharkEva AITA for not giving my adopted daughter a stuffed animal for her high school graduation, when both of my biological children got one?
I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/evastraea posting in AmItheAsshole
Concluded as per OOP
2 updates - Long
Original - 21st June 2022
Update1 - 27th June 2022
Comment from OOP - 27th June 2022
AITA for not giving my adopted daughter a stuffed animal for her high school graduation, when both of my biological children got one?
I [49f] have 3 children, [22f], [19m], and [18f]. My oldest are my biological children from a previous marriage, and my youngest I became a mother to at the age of 2 when I married her widowed father. She has only ever called me mom, and I officially adopted her at the age of 12.
Now on to the issue with the stuffed animals: years and years ago, when I was only 20 and in college, I worked at a children's museum. I adored the job and working with kids, and had the idea to buy stuffed animals from the gift shop to be my future-kids' first stuffed animals whenever they were born. I had gotten a stuffed bear at birth that was very special to me growing up, and on my 18th birthday my parents gifted me a duplicate they had bought way back when and kept for me all these years. I found this so special, and wanted to do something similar, so I bought 6 stuffed animals from the museum's gift shop; 3 to be given at birth, and 3 duplicates. I had no idea at the time how many kids I would have, but I knew I wasn't planning on having more than 3, so I didn't get any more.
My first daughter received the stuffed animal I selected for her while pregnant. Then, between her birth and the birth of my son, I miscarried. The experience was deeply traumatic for me, especially as I miscarried in my second trimester, and I buried my baby with the stuffed animal they would have gotten. I kept the duplicate to for comfort, to cuddle and hold.
Finally, my son was born and received the last of the stuffed animals I had set aside so many years ago. Now, here's where I may be the asshole. For both my daughter and son's high school graduations, I surprised them with the duplicates, for them to take to college with them and compare against the stuffies they've been loving on their whole lives. Both were very moved by this, and took both (original and duplicate) to school with them.
My youngest, however, never received a stuffed animal, and so when her graduation celebration rolled along I had no duplicate to gift her. I watched her unpack all her gifts, and her face fall when she got to the last one and realized. She didn't really say anything, just got this super sad look on her face, and excused herself to her room. I followed to ask what was wrong, but she said she didn't want to talk to me, so her father went in instead.
According to him she cried to him that she didn't feel as loved by me as her siblings, and as much a part of the family - the unwrapping of her siblings' stuffed animals were very emotional events, and she had had the expectation she'd be getting the same. In hindsight I could have easily done something similar for her whenever I first came into her life, even if it wouldn't have been from the museum, but I just didn't think of it. She has been cold to me this entire last week, and I feel so terrible, I've offered to take her out to a special dinner the two of us to make amends but she turned me down. AITA?
Edit: the votes are in, and I am definitively TA. Many of you are suggesting that I get her a stuffie that reminds me of her, or maybe to get her two so she can continue the tradition with her future kids. But I think what I will do is gift her the duplicate my parents gifted me of my special plush bear I received at birth, which is one of my most treasured possessions, and deeply meaningful to me. Thank you all for the advice, it is genuinely appreciated.
Comments
Mrs-Addams
YTA. Nothing quite says “you’re not like my other kids” like leaving her out of a family tradition when her turn came. I’m sorry about the loss of your baby and understand why you kept that stuffed animal for your own, however, the tradition could have started with her when she joined your family at age 2, or when you formally adopted her.
SmartassMouth89
YTA your kids grew up together and for years you never once thought to go and buy two stuffed animals for your adoptive daughter?
QueenKeisha
Right? In 16 years, and after giving 2 other bears away, she didn’t once think, hey what about youngest?
SmartassMouth89
Right? She liked the daughters dad enough to marry him but didn’t think that it would be a good idea to give the two year old a stuffie at the wedding?
Update - 6 days later
Long story short: my daughter found my reddit post, and came to me in tears apologizing for her reaction. This was NOT my expectation, and I assured her she had nothing to apologize for, as I had been in the wrong. We had a long discussion about the situation, our feelings, and how to move forward from this, and although I know she is still hurt we are on our way to making amends.
Long story long: so what even happened? As I've now discovered, my daughter loves browsing AITA. She stumbled on my post, and after reading it in it's entirety, as well as a good chunk of the comments (all of mine, and many left by other redditors) she came to me in tears apologizing for her reaction.
She sobbed in my arms that she didn't want this to be the end of our relationship, and that she was sorry, and wanted to enjoy this last summer together. I held her and assured her she had nothing to apologize for, and apologized myself (I did shed a little tear, but tried to keep my emotions in check as I did not want the burden of comforting me to be on her).
What followed was a productive but incredibly emotionally vulnerable conversation, the details of which I will not disclose entirely. She has been going through a rough time, and my impression (I could be wrong) is that the lack of a stuffie at graduation was a catalyst for bigger emotions. She did take me up on my offer to take her to dinner, and I've now booked a reservation at a nice restaurant she has been wanting to go to for a while.
And last night we cooked her favorite dinner together, which gave us an opportunity to smooth things over somewhat. We have not yet broached the subject of me intending to gift her my own plush, except for very briefly (she insisted I didn't have to, and seemed to feel a lot of guilt), but I still plan to. I just feel it would be best to wait until things have cooled down.
And if she truly doesn't feel comfortable taking it, I plan on getting a bear of a similar look to be its "little brother" for her to take care of. That's the update, obviously things have not magically mended overnight, but we are finally on-track to a resolution. Many thanks to all that left advice, and please check the comments below for clarification on many questions asked before passing any judgements (I far exceeded the allowed word limit, and have instead pasted much of what I intended to say here below).
Comments
aroundincircles
Read your first post and this one, and I feel it from both sides. My wife and I recently adopted a bio niece (13 yo this week) and she welcomes us as dad and mom, but we've run into a number of times where the kids will pull out something from a trip we went on, or an activity we did, etc years before she was ever in our lives, and she'll go "why don't you have one of those for me"? It's really hard, some of these things are simply impossible for us to get, and/or would cost us thousands of dollars (when We already spent 30+k on custody/adoption lawyers and court fees).
She also didn't even bring anything with her when we picked her up, she wasn't even allowed to bring a change of underwear. It's been something that we've had to deal with in counselling that her life with us didn't start till she was almost 12, and we have to begin fresh from there, we cannot turn back the clock and give her back an entire childhood she missed. Like when we went camping for the first time with her, and we were getting things out to visually see what we needed to get from the store and we pulled out the kid's sleeping bags, and she was like "where is mine", and the fact that we didn't already have one hurt her.
Glum_Hamster_1076
And that doesn’t make you an ahole. I hope no one will call you one. Situations change and you’re not always able to “make up for it”. OP didn’t do this to hurt her daughter and it’s weird people are painting it that way. I hope things are going well with you all in therapy and your family is making great strides together.
Comment from OOP
When I initially posted to AITA, I was prepared to face judgment, and open to constructive criticism. However, while I did receive many constructive comments, which I truly appreciate, I received many more that were hateful and unconstructive, and I will admit, I did get defensive. But the attitude I took on in the comments is not one I brought into my interactions with my daughter; please understand that I did not throw in her face all the kind things I feel I've done for her over the years, but was rather attempting to contextualize our relationship for strangers who've never met us.
And before passing any further judgment in the comments, please check below for answers to a lot of the questions asked in the original thread. To answer a few questions: why did I not adopt her until 10 years after I came into her life? Because I never sought to force myself on her as her mother, and waited until she could give me explicit consent to adopt her. Why did I never buy her any stuffed animals? I did. I bought her many when I first met her, as well as one for her official adoption day, and every adoption day celebration since.
And I did technically gift her a stuffed animal for her graduation, too, it was just a plush of her college's mascot rather than a duplicate of a treasured plush from her childhood. So why did I not buy her a duplicate at any point over the last 16 years? I did not think to until my oldest graduated and received hers, by which point I (mistakenly) felt the significance would be lost. Both my bio kids received stuffies saved for them for decades, whereas she would have received one saved for only four years. Instead I tried to honor her in other ways, such as (as I described in the comments) crafting her a cookbook of generational family recipes that I illustrated by hand, because she is her own individual.
Truthfully, while I understand the sentiments expressed in the comments, I don't believe recognizing differences is inherently a bad thing. The duplicate stuffies my bio kids received were duplicates of the very first stuffies to ever be in their crib with them. Their receival of them was a birth event, and I did not give birth to my youngest. But that does not mean I love her any less, or that she is any less my daughter.
We have established our own traditions honoring her entry into my life, such as our celebration of her adoption day, and while I realize I could have handled the stuffie situation better, I do believe it was an honest mistake. But how could I not include her in a treasured family tradition, knowing how important it is (especially as an adopted child) to feel a part of the family? Because I truly did not realize this one specific tradition meant as much to her as it did.
I have strived to include her in as many family traditions as possible throughout the years. As I mentioned in the comments, she speaks German because I taught and spoke it to her growing up, even though her father does not. We celebrate German traditions, such as baking countless batches of German Christmas cookies together every year (just the two of us, neither of her siblings have any interest in baking), which is something I grew up doing with my mom, and every year it is quality time I deeply treasure.
For her 16th birthday I gifted her the locket my mother gifted me on my 16th, which she'd been gifted by my grandmother before me - this actually upset my eldest daughter, who had not received such a hand-me-down, and this is just to name a few. So given the fact that she has on occasion received and taken part in traditions my other kids have been excluded from, I did not think the stuffie would carry as much weight as it ultimately did. But isn't her reaction an indication that there are larger issues at play, and that she has likely felt this way for a while? Perhaps.
I am not a perfect adoptive mother, and have never claimed to be. And I can not see inside her brain, so I cannot know her true feelings. But my sense - and I may be wrong! - is that the larger issues at play relate back to her bio mom, which is something she expressed to me in our conversation. I did not disclose this in my original post, because I did not believe it to be relevant, and it is also a painful topic within our family, but her bio mom committed suicide whilst in the thick of post-partum depression. This has obviously impacted my daughter, who has been in and out of therapy for years grappling with feelings of loss, and guilt.
She is highly sensitive to feeling isolated within our family unit, which is something I should have taken into account in this situation, and I own that. I realize this is a huge hunk of text, but given the visceral reaction many had, I felt it was important to cover my bases. Come to whatever conclusions you all like, I will likely not be checking the comments for my own mental health, and the wellbeing of my family. To all who left genuine advice, even if that meant calling me an asshole, I truly do appreciate you. And to all who said hateful things, especially in regard to the loss of my baby, please consider the impact your words may have moving forward
Comments
Rice-Correct
You’re a good mom. It might’ve been a mistake not to gift her the plush, and it might, as you said, just have been indicative of some larger big emotions going on, as graduating is a HUGE milestone and going to college is an enormous life change that is very rewarding and exciting, but also stressful. But it sounds like you’ve been amazing about creating beautiful memories and experiences together! I think at some point, the plush will be a distant memory. From your post, it seems pretty clear you DO have a good relationship, and you’re a caring, empathetic parent. ENJOY your summer together, Mama!
sharraleigh
Don't take the hateful comments personally; it's easy to be cruel online to a faceless stranger. Also, your original post didn't include all this info (it would've been impossible to anyway), and therefore lacked a lot of the back story and nuance that frankly, a real person's life experience encompasses. Your daughter probably saw your post and realized how her reaction hurt your feelings and read the hateful comments and felt bad for you. It sounds like you have a great relationship and you're lucky to have each other in your lives!
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments
submitted by SharkEva to BORUpdates [link] [comments]
Concluded as per OOP
2 updates - Long
Original - 21st June 2022
Update1 - 27th June 2022
Comment from OOP - 27th June 2022
AITA for not giving my adopted daughter a stuffed animal for her high school graduation, when both of my biological children got one?
I [49f] have 3 children, [22f], [19m], and [18f]. My oldest are my biological children from a previous marriage, and my youngest I became a mother to at the age of 2 when I married her widowed father. She has only ever called me mom, and I officially adopted her at the age of 12.
Now on to the issue with the stuffed animals: years and years ago, when I was only 20 and in college, I worked at a children's museum. I adored the job and working with kids, and had the idea to buy stuffed animals from the gift shop to be my future-kids' first stuffed animals whenever they were born. I had gotten a stuffed bear at birth that was very special to me growing up, and on my 18th birthday my parents gifted me a duplicate they had bought way back when and kept for me all these years. I found this so special, and wanted to do something similar, so I bought 6 stuffed animals from the museum's gift shop; 3 to be given at birth, and 3 duplicates. I had no idea at the time how many kids I would have, but I knew I wasn't planning on having more than 3, so I didn't get any more.
My first daughter received the stuffed animal I selected for her while pregnant. Then, between her birth and the birth of my son, I miscarried. The experience was deeply traumatic for me, especially as I miscarried in my second trimester, and I buried my baby with the stuffed animal they would have gotten. I kept the duplicate to for comfort, to cuddle and hold.
Finally, my son was born and received the last of the stuffed animals I had set aside so many years ago. Now, here's where I may be the asshole. For both my daughter and son's high school graduations, I surprised them with the duplicates, for them to take to college with them and compare against the stuffies they've been loving on their whole lives. Both were very moved by this, and took both (original and duplicate) to school with them.
My youngest, however, never received a stuffed animal, and so when her graduation celebration rolled along I had no duplicate to gift her. I watched her unpack all her gifts, and her face fall when she got to the last one and realized. She didn't really say anything, just got this super sad look on her face, and excused herself to her room. I followed to ask what was wrong, but she said she didn't want to talk to me, so her father went in instead.
According to him she cried to him that she didn't feel as loved by me as her siblings, and as much a part of the family - the unwrapping of her siblings' stuffed animals were very emotional events, and she had had the expectation she'd be getting the same. In hindsight I could have easily done something similar for her whenever I first came into her life, even if it wouldn't have been from the museum, but I just didn't think of it. She has been cold to me this entire last week, and I feel so terrible, I've offered to take her out to a special dinner the two of us to make amends but she turned me down. AITA?
Edit: the votes are in, and I am definitively TA. Many of you are suggesting that I get her a stuffie that reminds me of her, or maybe to get her two so she can continue the tradition with her future kids. But I think what I will do is gift her the duplicate my parents gifted me of my special plush bear I received at birth, which is one of my most treasured possessions, and deeply meaningful to me. Thank you all for the advice, it is genuinely appreciated.
Comments
Mrs-Addams
YTA. Nothing quite says “you’re not like my other kids” like leaving her out of a family tradition when her turn came. I’m sorry about the loss of your baby and understand why you kept that stuffed animal for your own, however, the tradition could have started with her when she joined your family at age 2, or when you formally adopted her.
SmartassMouth89
YTA your kids grew up together and for years you never once thought to go and buy two stuffed animals for your adoptive daughter?
QueenKeisha
Right? In 16 years, and after giving 2 other bears away, she didn’t once think, hey what about youngest?
SmartassMouth89
Right? She liked the daughters dad enough to marry him but didn’t think that it would be a good idea to give the two year old a stuffie at the wedding?
Update - 6 days later
Long story short: my daughter found my reddit post, and came to me in tears apologizing for her reaction. This was NOT my expectation, and I assured her she had nothing to apologize for, as I had been in the wrong. We had a long discussion about the situation, our feelings, and how to move forward from this, and although I know she is still hurt we are on our way to making amends.
Long story long: so what even happened? As I've now discovered, my daughter loves browsing AITA. She stumbled on my post, and after reading it in it's entirety, as well as a good chunk of the comments (all of mine, and many left by other redditors) she came to me in tears apologizing for her reaction.
She sobbed in my arms that she didn't want this to be the end of our relationship, and that she was sorry, and wanted to enjoy this last summer together. I held her and assured her she had nothing to apologize for, and apologized myself (I did shed a little tear, but tried to keep my emotions in check as I did not want the burden of comforting me to be on her).
What followed was a productive but incredibly emotionally vulnerable conversation, the details of which I will not disclose entirely. She has been going through a rough time, and my impression (I could be wrong) is that the lack of a stuffie at graduation was a catalyst for bigger emotions. She did take me up on my offer to take her to dinner, and I've now booked a reservation at a nice restaurant she has been wanting to go to for a while.
And last night we cooked her favorite dinner together, which gave us an opportunity to smooth things over somewhat. We have not yet broached the subject of me intending to gift her my own plush, except for very briefly (she insisted I didn't have to, and seemed to feel a lot of guilt), but I still plan to. I just feel it would be best to wait until things have cooled down.
And if she truly doesn't feel comfortable taking it, I plan on getting a bear of a similar look to be its "little brother" for her to take care of. That's the update, obviously things have not magically mended overnight, but we are finally on-track to a resolution. Many thanks to all that left advice, and please check the comments below for clarification on many questions asked before passing any judgements (I far exceeded the allowed word limit, and have instead pasted much of what I intended to say here below).
Comments
aroundincircles
Read your first post and this one, and I feel it from both sides. My wife and I recently adopted a bio niece (13 yo this week) and she welcomes us as dad and mom, but we've run into a number of times where the kids will pull out something from a trip we went on, or an activity we did, etc years before she was ever in our lives, and she'll go "why don't you have one of those for me"? It's really hard, some of these things are simply impossible for us to get, and/or would cost us thousands of dollars (when We already spent 30+k on custody/adoption lawyers and court fees).
She also didn't even bring anything with her when we picked her up, she wasn't even allowed to bring a change of underwear. It's been something that we've had to deal with in counselling that her life with us didn't start till she was almost 12, and we have to begin fresh from there, we cannot turn back the clock and give her back an entire childhood she missed. Like when we went camping for the first time with her, and we were getting things out to visually see what we needed to get from the store and we pulled out the kid's sleeping bags, and she was like "where is mine", and the fact that we didn't already have one hurt her.
Glum_Hamster_1076
And that doesn’t make you an ahole. I hope no one will call you one. Situations change and you’re not always able to “make up for it”. OP didn’t do this to hurt her daughter and it’s weird people are painting it that way. I hope things are going well with you all in therapy and your family is making great strides together.
Comment from OOP
When I initially posted to AITA, I was prepared to face judgment, and open to constructive criticism. However, while I did receive many constructive comments, which I truly appreciate, I received many more that were hateful and unconstructive, and I will admit, I did get defensive. But the attitude I took on in the comments is not one I brought into my interactions with my daughter; please understand that I did not throw in her face all the kind things I feel I've done for her over the years, but was rather attempting to contextualize our relationship for strangers who've never met us.
And before passing any further judgment in the comments, please check below for answers to a lot of the questions asked in the original thread. To answer a few questions: why did I not adopt her until 10 years after I came into her life? Because I never sought to force myself on her as her mother, and waited until she could give me explicit consent to adopt her. Why did I never buy her any stuffed animals? I did. I bought her many when I first met her, as well as one for her official adoption day, and every adoption day celebration since.
And I did technically gift her a stuffed animal for her graduation, too, it was just a plush of her college's mascot rather than a duplicate of a treasured plush from her childhood. So why did I not buy her a duplicate at any point over the last 16 years? I did not think to until my oldest graduated and received hers, by which point I (mistakenly) felt the significance would be lost. Both my bio kids received stuffies saved for them for decades, whereas she would have received one saved for only four years. Instead I tried to honor her in other ways, such as (as I described in the comments) crafting her a cookbook of generational family recipes that I illustrated by hand, because she is her own individual.
Truthfully, while I understand the sentiments expressed in the comments, I don't believe recognizing differences is inherently a bad thing. The duplicate stuffies my bio kids received were duplicates of the very first stuffies to ever be in their crib with them. Their receival of them was a birth event, and I did not give birth to my youngest. But that does not mean I love her any less, or that she is any less my daughter.
We have established our own traditions honoring her entry into my life, such as our celebration of her adoption day, and while I realize I could have handled the stuffie situation better, I do believe it was an honest mistake. But how could I not include her in a treasured family tradition, knowing how important it is (especially as an adopted child) to feel a part of the family? Because I truly did not realize this one specific tradition meant as much to her as it did.
I have strived to include her in as many family traditions as possible throughout the years. As I mentioned in the comments, she speaks German because I taught and spoke it to her growing up, even though her father does not. We celebrate German traditions, such as baking countless batches of German Christmas cookies together every year (just the two of us, neither of her siblings have any interest in baking), which is something I grew up doing with my mom, and every year it is quality time I deeply treasure.
For her 16th birthday I gifted her the locket my mother gifted me on my 16th, which she'd been gifted by my grandmother before me - this actually upset my eldest daughter, who had not received such a hand-me-down, and this is just to name a few. So given the fact that she has on occasion received and taken part in traditions my other kids have been excluded from, I did not think the stuffie would carry as much weight as it ultimately did. But isn't her reaction an indication that there are larger issues at play, and that she has likely felt this way for a while? Perhaps.
I am not a perfect adoptive mother, and have never claimed to be. And I can not see inside her brain, so I cannot know her true feelings. But my sense - and I may be wrong! - is that the larger issues at play relate back to her bio mom, which is something she expressed to me in our conversation. I did not disclose this in my original post, because I did not believe it to be relevant, and it is also a painful topic within our family, but her bio mom committed suicide whilst in the thick of post-partum depression. This has obviously impacted my daughter, who has been in and out of therapy for years grappling with feelings of loss, and guilt.
She is highly sensitive to feeling isolated within our family unit, which is something I should have taken into account in this situation, and I own that. I realize this is a huge hunk of text, but given the visceral reaction many had, I felt it was important to cover my bases. Come to whatever conclusions you all like, I will likely not be checking the comments for my own mental health, and the wellbeing of my family. To all who left genuine advice, even if that meant calling me an asshole, I truly do appreciate you. And to all who said hateful things, especially in regard to the loss of my baby, please consider the impact your words may have moving forward
Comments
Rice-Correct
You’re a good mom. It might’ve been a mistake not to gift her the plush, and it might, as you said, just have been indicative of some larger big emotions going on, as graduating is a HUGE milestone and going to college is an enormous life change that is very rewarding and exciting, but also stressful. But it sounds like you’ve been amazing about creating beautiful memories and experiences together! I think at some point, the plush will be a distant memory. From your post, it seems pretty clear you DO have a good relationship, and you’re a caring, empathetic parent. ENJOY your summer together, Mama!
sharraleigh
Don't take the hateful comments personally; it's easy to be cruel online to a faceless stranger. Also, your original post didn't include all this info (it would've been impossible to anyway), and therefore lacked a lot of the back story and nuance that frankly, a real person's life experience encompasses. Your daughter probably saw your post and realized how her reaction hurt your feelings and read the hateful comments and felt bad for you. It sounds like you have a great relationship and you're lucky to have each other in your lives!
I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments
2024.05.21 14:58 FarragutCircle Reading The Big Book of Cyberpunk, Week 17
Welcome to Reading The Big Book of Cyberpunk!
Each week we (u/FarragutCircle and u/fanny_bertram) will be reading 5-ish stories from Jared Shurin’s The Big Book of Cyberpunk, which includes a curated selection of cyberpunk stories written from 1950 to 2022! We’ll include synopses of the stories along with links to any legally available online versions we can find. Feel free to read along with us or just stop by and hear our thoughts about some cyberpunk stories to decide if any of them sound interesting to you.
Every once in a while, we reach out to people who have more insight, due to being fans of the author or have some additional context for the story. (Or we just tricked them into it.) So please welcome u/RuinEleint who will be sharing their thoughts on "The Yuletide Cyberpunk Yarn, or Christmas_Eve-117.DIR" by Victor Pelevin!
“Deep Eddy” by Bruce Sterling (published 1993; also available in his collection Ascendancies: The Best of Bruce Sterling)
Deep Eddy is acting as a data courier to the Cultural Critic in Düsseldorf, right as the city goes through a Wende (a sort of anarchist “Purge”).
A corrupt mayor’s computer is infected by a virus that causes chaos in Russia.
Lalo (or is it Eduardo?) wakes up every day in the most awesome life in 1974, but it’s revealed to be a lie and ends tragically.
A FAQ-style story that clearly describes a bizarre future where images on the web and TV are banned due to the risk of death.
Spider, uh, does something? Is looking for drugs, maybe? But something else happens instead?
Also posted on Bochord Online.
submitted by FarragutCircle to Fantasy [link] [comments]
Each week we (u/FarragutCircle and u/fanny_bertram) will be reading 5-ish stories from Jared Shurin’s The Big Book of Cyberpunk, which includes a curated selection of cyberpunk stories written from 1950 to 2022! We’ll include synopses of the stories along with links to any legally available online versions we can find. Feel free to read along with us or just stop by and hear our thoughts about some cyberpunk stories to decide if any of them sound interesting to you.
Every once in a while, we reach out to people who have more insight, due to being fans of the author or have some additional context for the story. (Or we just tricked them into it.) So please welcome u/RuinEleint who will be sharing their thoughts on "The Yuletide Cyberpunk Yarn, or Christmas_Eve-117.DIR" by Victor Pelevin!
“Deep Eddy” by Bruce Sterling (published 1993; also available in his collection Ascendancies: The Best of Bruce Sterling)
Deep Eddy is acting as a data courier to the Cultural Critic in Düsseldorf, right as the city goes through a Wende (a sort of anarchist “Purge”).
- Farragut’s thoughts: We’ve read Sterling before in Science Fiction. Eddy is a misguided libertarian creep who won’t stop hitting on his German bodyguard and is too dumb to understand the philosophical points that the Cultural Critic is making (for that matter, I’m too dumb to understand, too). He survives his time in Germany, but has learned nothing of value for his punk attitude. What’s the point of rebelling if you don’t understand why? The naivete and creepiness were a little too much for me.
- fanny’s thoughts: This did not work for me. Eddy is creepy and annoying. He keeps hitting on the bodyguard and she makes it VERY clear she is only there in a professional context. Eddy also seems to generally not have any clue what he is doing. He is libertarian and against something but no one seems to know what. He doesn't even seem to know what he delivered to the Cultural Critic.
A corrupt mayor’s computer is infected by a virus that causes chaos in Russia.
- Special Guest Ruin: This was a fascinating story to read. The way the narrative segued from a discussion on poetry to a darkly comedic look at a Russian city was remarkable. The author seems to like to start or lead with a theme or themes which seem to be only tangentially related to each other such as for example the name of the computer virus, or Gerasimov and his dog. But both elements circle back into the story and are crucial to its structure. As for the content of the story itself, I amused myself by imagining the events as being a movie that blended the stylistic elements of Tarantino and Wes Anderson. So we have brutal, bloody violence in increasingly absurd settings and the way it is all described makes it easy to imagine it all taking place amidst the highly stylized sets and characters we would expect in a Wes Anderson movie. Overall, I really enjoyed this story.
- Farragut: We’ve read Pelevin before in Modern Fantasy. First of all, this is a fantastic title for a story, period. Second of all, I just enjoyed Pelevin’s style here (via Shvartsman’s translation), with an omniscient narrator telling us about a completely ridiculous situation. It gets a little cagey with the identity of the perpetrator and the ending, but I’m very curious as to how darkly I should read it (now that I think about it, it’s directly connected to the original, so I should read it very darkly indeed). Shvartsman’s occasional footnotes were very helpful, however, especially with the context surrounding Gerasim(ov) and Mumu.
- fanny: Ruin's review is so good, I am not sure what to add. The style of this story fit the elements so well. It starts with a poem whose themes carry through the story. The footnotes were a really great addition and helped contextualize. The narrator keeps upping the ridiculousness until we get to the end and everything gets wrapped up.
Lalo (or is it Eduardo?) wakes up every day in the most awesome life in 1974, but it’s revealed to be a lie and ends tragically.
- Farragut: Bef is a Mexican SF writer, a crime writer, and a graphic novelist, and honestly his whole bibliography sounds cool as heck. Told in a series of diary entries with some small interruptions, we follow a kid whose life is like a Mexican kid’s sugar-fueled dream. The reason for its inclusion in this thematic section of the anthology becomes clear however, and I yelled, “Noooo!” at the ending. Sigh. It’s very good!
- fanny: I am a sucker for diary entry style stories and this was no exception. Lalo’s life seems almost perfect, but it feels so off. The story feels progressively more off until we start to question everything. Also, yelled “Nooo!” at the ending. Very good. Absolutely loved.
A FAQ-style story that clearly describes a bizarre future where images on the web and TV are banned due to the risk of death.
- Farragut: Langford is famous for having the most Hugo wins (29), mostly for the Fan Writer category, but also Short Story (not this one) and Best Related Work (not this one either). This is a delightful story that made me think of it as a precursor to qntm’s later story “Lena” from Week 5 (though obviously only in general form). Apparently I love the faux-nonfiction style where some of the horror and plot is between the lines. The final FAQ about Microsoft was darkly funny.
- fanny: This was fun and very short. The FAQs related to basilisk and writing were great. It goes between funny, dark humor, and just dark. I liked the commentary on technology and software. I also really appreciate the standard response answers explaining they should post someone else. This is something I deal with often and this was great.
Spider, uh, does something? Is looking for drugs, maybe? But something else happens instead?
- Farragut: Çakan is a German writer from Hamburg, and after reading this story, I’d say Shurin made hamburger out of me, too. The main thing I got out of this story was that Spider really wanted something, maybe. I thought it was drugs, but he got angry at his dealer and then got super weird with his friend’s girlfriend? And then there was a Silver Spider, who wasn’t him, but maybe he plugged himself in to replace her? What is happening?
- fanny: Spider definitely wanted drugs from his dealer, Ant. I think. Ant got annoyed at something then Spider got into a voyeur situation (maybe). There is a Silver Spider in his dreams that makes him feel better. I couldn't tell if this was dream or drug induced or technology induced. The end is super weird and makes even less sense than the story. Spider might have done a murder on himself? I have been confused before in this anthology, but not to this level.
Also posted on Bochord Online.
2024.05.21 14:45 ViperiousTheRedPanda Just finished my first complete playthrough of all games, but why does Andromeda feel like 3 games in one?
So before these last couple weeks, I had only ever played ME2, with my disk copy of ME1 being broken so the game would crash when arriving at the Citadel for the first time. But after playing Andromeda, I couldn't help feeling after 60 hours and 96% completion, that I just played 3 different games.
Let me explain.
The first game was personally my favourite. Arriving at Habitat 07, finding the Nexus in it's unfinished state, arriving at EOS and exploring the failed outposts and experiencing a limited progression until you progress the planet's story further. I loved how the wider world was cut off by high radiation that kept my exploration limited to a managable amount initially. I loved how once I set up the colony, I got to decide what type of colony it was (I picked Military for obvious reasons), and even got an awesome cutscene of the prefabs and shuttles landing on the planet. I loved how soon after fixing the vault, things started to improve, more of the map opened up, SAM gave me a run down of what was now available and the environment seemed to change visually.
This set up my assumptions for the rest of game quite high and I was all for it. However, things quickly changed after going to the second habitable planent. Aya.
Suddenly I've been thrown onto a small accessible hub area with no planetary exploration, and instead been presented with fish lipped, bug eyed, wannabe Twi'leks. I am no longer in my explore, adapt, overcome mind set and I'm suddenly brought into a "Gotta make these new aliens like me unlike the other group of aliens" mind set. This is in itself isn't terrible as it varies the gameplay and the story, however the game NEVER returns to the previous experience that I was greatly looking forward to, but I pressed onwards with the hope that my EOS experience would continue.
I was wrong.
More systems were now made accessible (Despite the Nexus saying that their probes only reached as far as Aya's system), so naturally I checked, did the repetetive task of going from planet to planet with a roughly 20% payout of either 270xp or a mineral vein visable from space that gives less than a single mineral node you find planetside, and then proceeded to Havarl. My hopes remained high as the map appeared small and the Nomad wasn't usable, and 2 of the 3 remnant towers were already activated, massively bringing down the amount of busy work I had to do. I didn't consider this as a planet to colonize and instead treated it like a large hub area with a few story progression quests, like finding our lovable gay Turian spectre Avitus and getting the first clues as to the status of the other 3 Arks. I did the Vault, established a research outpost with the Angaran's and was satisfied.
Then I moved onto Vauld.
Up to this point and a little more, I had believed that my EOS experience would return now that I had Aya and Havarl out of the way. When I landed on Vauld, I loved the atmosphere. It was dark, cold and clearly had something for me to achieve. My first thought while walking through the snow (aside from wondering why there was a pilot telling me he was ready to assault the enemy stronghold once I gave the go ahead), was "Wow, I can't wait to see how things change once the vault is active, I bet the ice is going to melt gradually and you'll see the ground underneath". Suffice to say my Vauld experience peaked after leaving the resistance base, approaching the 2 Angaran's standing outside and looked down at the large open area for me to explore. And with my hopes still high, explore I did. However this was the first major sign that things had changed.
There was no longer locked progression, waiting for me to restore the vault (Unlike EOS which had lvl 1 and lvl 3, Valud only had lvl 1 and lvl 2 which only stifled exploration but didn't directly prevent it). There was no awesome cutscene or meaningful choice once I established my outpost. There was no visual change except for somewhat clear skies, and I really had no reason to come back to the planet afterwards except to complete quests I was too lazy to do straight away, or continue missions that brought me back. At this point it was clear that my assumptions of the game were incorrect and the experience I enjoyed from EOS would not be returning.
Then we moved onto Kadara, the planet I hate the most. I landed into another hub area, again with no accessible exploration area, but unlike Aya, this planet had one that was separated by a loading screen. Sloane was a bitch and I questioned how the Angara here had been mingling with the Milky Way exiles for the last 14 months, yet our landing on Aya was apparently first contact with the Angaran's who were already associated with our lovable rogue.
Again, planet exploration disapointed me, except this time there was even less than Vauld. Now the only environmental hazard was sulfur water which was practically an insta kill if you so much as touched the water with your toe. I did the usual, went to every forward base, collected every mission and task, completed the story progression and then resolved the conflict that would allow me to get an outpost down. And despite Vauld giving me little reason to return after, Kadara gave me even less! With the only reason to return being follow ups of other missions and loyalty missions. But hey at least the water no longer kills you. I guess that's "progression".
And to my dissapointment, Havarl was actually considered an Outpost/Colony, meaning the last place I had to go to was Elaaden. The second Desert planet (Though this one is hot instead of radioactive), the home of the exiled Krogans, and another planet where the Angaran have an established presence and have been in contact with the exiles for 14 months with Ryder being first contact 14 months later. Though I was just glad to finally find out where Drak had apparently come from ever since he mentioned moving with his clan after leaving the Nexus and being found on EOS, despite his clan being firmly established in Elaaden.
Like Vauld and Kadara. I drove around without any temporary limitation. Got the forward bases. Collected the quests and met the bitch in charge (In Elaaden there are actually 2 bitches in charges, though only 1 of which you can actually get rid of and replace). I did the story progression, resolved the local problems, watched an epic battle between 2 Krogan that I had absolutely no influence over (Couldn't even decide who to put incharge of New Tachanka like I could do with Kadara port), and just as quickly as I arrived at Elaaden, I had left. Leaving the Arks and Meridian to resolve.
Resolving the arks were a little dissapointing. I had hoped to recover the Arks, expand options for colonization, gain more quests and give me more reason to explore. Instead all I ended up with was 2 functional arks. A loss of about 25% of the Turians, Asarians and Salarians that came to Andromeda and not a single original Path Finder on the Nexus. And despite in game dialogue mentioning that the retrieval of the Arks had allowed for construction to continue on the Nexus, there was no visual changes of the Nexus which remained in the same half built state since the start of the game (When I saw Nexus levels, I had incorrectly believed that each time the level increased, the Nexus would gradually be completed).
And then there was Meridian, which was actually a Remnant space station/city that you needed to bring back online. At this point it was felt like the 3rd game had come into effect. While the first game had great exploration and colonization, while the 2nd game felt like a more tedius version of ME1 with less meaningful choices and plot, and more filler. And now we've moved onto the 3rd game, which is a massively rushed attempt at "ending" the game and giving some minor rewards/punishments for choices you've made through the mid game and the end boss fight being a partial Architect fight filled with many remnant forces, which follows a "warthog run" populazised by the final mission of Halo Combat Evolved.
There is nothing reflective of the rest of the game in the final missions, and after the final mission, the epilogue sets up or leaves unanswered questions that would have/should have been answered in DLC or a Sequal.
These being:
Qaurian Ark (Probably chased by 1 or more Reapers that escaped by the Crucible destroying everything)
Removing the Scourge (Implied that it could be removed in Meridian, but then never brought up again)
Uncovering the Benefactor (Likely The Elusive Man or The Shadow Broker (Could be Liara or the previous one))
Turning outposts into Colonies
Construction of Port Meridian
Fixing Ryder - 01 (Previously Habitat 07)
The Ancient AI (Disapears after the Hyperion gets stolen)
Waking Ryder's mother
Restoring Communication with the Milky Way (They questioned why communication wasn't open after setting the nexus up)
Connecting the Engine (Meridian) to the Remnant City and activating all Vaults remotely
Primus informing the Kett Empire about what's happened in the Heleus cluster
And probably a few other smaller that I can't recall at this time.
So there it is. Why does the game feel like 3 different games in 1 package? Why did the game peak at EOS and then slowly decline for the rest of the game?
I look forward to discussions in the comments.
submitted by ViperiousTheRedPanda to masseffect [link] [comments]
Let me explain.
The first game was personally my favourite. Arriving at Habitat 07, finding the Nexus in it's unfinished state, arriving at EOS and exploring the failed outposts and experiencing a limited progression until you progress the planet's story further. I loved how the wider world was cut off by high radiation that kept my exploration limited to a managable amount initially. I loved how once I set up the colony, I got to decide what type of colony it was (I picked Military for obvious reasons), and even got an awesome cutscene of the prefabs and shuttles landing on the planet. I loved how soon after fixing the vault, things started to improve, more of the map opened up, SAM gave me a run down of what was now available and the environment seemed to change visually.
This set up my assumptions for the rest of game quite high and I was all for it. However, things quickly changed after going to the second habitable planent. Aya.
Suddenly I've been thrown onto a small accessible hub area with no planetary exploration, and instead been presented with fish lipped, bug eyed, wannabe Twi'leks. I am no longer in my explore, adapt, overcome mind set and I'm suddenly brought into a "Gotta make these new aliens like me unlike the other group of aliens" mind set. This is in itself isn't terrible as it varies the gameplay and the story, however the game NEVER returns to the previous experience that I was greatly looking forward to, but I pressed onwards with the hope that my EOS experience would continue.
I was wrong.
More systems were now made accessible (Despite the Nexus saying that their probes only reached as far as Aya's system), so naturally I checked, did the repetetive task of going from planet to planet with a roughly 20% payout of either 270xp or a mineral vein visable from space that gives less than a single mineral node you find planetside, and then proceeded to Havarl. My hopes remained high as the map appeared small and the Nomad wasn't usable, and 2 of the 3 remnant towers were already activated, massively bringing down the amount of busy work I had to do. I didn't consider this as a planet to colonize and instead treated it like a large hub area with a few story progression quests, like finding our lovable gay Turian spectre Avitus and getting the first clues as to the status of the other 3 Arks. I did the Vault, established a research outpost with the Angaran's and was satisfied.
Then I moved onto Vauld.
Up to this point and a little more, I had believed that my EOS experience would return now that I had Aya and Havarl out of the way. When I landed on Vauld, I loved the atmosphere. It was dark, cold and clearly had something for me to achieve. My first thought while walking through the snow (aside from wondering why there was a pilot telling me he was ready to assault the enemy stronghold once I gave the go ahead), was "Wow, I can't wait to see how things change once the vault is active, I bet the ice is going to melt gradually and you'll see the ground underneath". Suffice to say my Vauld experience peaked after leaving the resistance base, approaching the 2 Angaran's standing outside and looked down at the large open area for me to explore. And with my hopes still high, explore I did. However this was the first major sign that things had changed.
There was no longer locked progression, waiting for me to restore the vault (Unlike EOS which had lvl 1 and lvl 3, Valud only had lvl 1 and lvl 2 which only stifled exploration but didn't directly prevent it). There was no awesome cutscene or meaningful choice once I established my outpost. There was no visual change except for somewhat clear skies, and I really had no reason to come back to the planet afterwards except to complete quests I was too lazy to do straight away, or continue missions that brought me back. At this point it was clear that my assumptions of the game were incorrect and the experience I enjoyed from EOS would not be returning.
Then we moved onto Kadara, the planet I hate the most. I landed into another hub area, again with no accessible exploration area, but unlike Aya, this planet had one that was separated by a loading screen. Sloane was a bitch and I questioned how the Angara here had been mingling with the Milky Way exiles for the last 14 months, yet our landing on Aya was apparently first contact with the Angaran's who were already associated with our lovable rogue.
Again, planet exploration disapointed me, except this time there was even less than Vauld. Now the only environmental hazard was sulfur water which was practically an insta kill if you so much as touched the water with your toe. I did the usual, went to every forward base, collected every mission and task, completed the story progression and then resolved the conflict that would allow me to get an outpost down. And despite Vauld giving me little reason to return after, Kadara gave me even less! With the only reason to return being follow ups of other missions and loyalty missions. But hey at least the water no longer kills you. I guess that's "progression".
And to my dissapointment, Havarl was actually considered an Outpost/Colony, meaning the last place I had to go to was Elaaden. The second Desert planet (Though this one is hot instead of radioactive), the home of the exiled Krogans, and another planet where the Angaran have an established presence and have been in contact with the exiles for 14 months with Ryder being first contact 14 months later. Though I was just glad to finally find out where Drak had apparently come from ever since he mentioned moving with his clan after leaving the Nexus and being found on EOS, despite his clan being firmly established in Elaaden.
Like Vauld and Kadara. I drove around without any temporary limitation. Got the forward bases. Collected the quests and met the bitch in charge (In Elaaden there are actually 2 bitches in charges, though only 1 of which you can actually get rid of and replace). I did the story progression, resolved the local problems, watched an epic battle between 2 Krogan that I had absolutely no influence over (Couldn't even decide who to put incharge of New Tachanka like I could do with Kadara port), and just as quickly as I arrived at Elaaden, I had left. Leaving the Arks and Meridian to resolve.
Resolving the arks were a little dissapointing. I had hoped to recover the Arks, expand options for colonization, gain more quests and give me more reason to explore. Instead all I ended up with was 2 functional arks. A loss of about 25% of the Turians, Asarians and Salarians that came to Andromeda and not a single original Path Finder on the Nexus. And despite in game dialogue mentioning that the retrieval of the Arks had allowed for construction to continue on the Nexus, there was no visual changes of the Nexus which remained in the same half built state since the start of the game (When I saw Nexus levels, I had incorrectly believed that each time the level increased, the Nexus would gradually be completed).
And then there was Meridian, which was actually a Remnant space station/city that you needed to bring back online. At this point it was felt like the 3rd game had come into effect. While the first game had great exploration and colonization, while the 2nd game felt like a more tedius version of ME1 with less meaningful choices and plot, and more filler. And now we've moved onto the 3rd game, which is a massively rushed attempt at "ending" the game and giving some minor rewards/punishments for choices you've made through the mid game and the end boss fight being a partial Architect fight filled with many remnant forces, which follows a "warthog run" populazised by the final mission of Halo Combat Evolved.
There is nothing reflective of the rest of the game in the final missions, and after the final mission, the epilogue sets up or leaves unanswered questions that would have/should have been answered in DLC or a Sequal.
These being:
Qaurian Ark (Probably chased by 1 or more Reapers that escaped by the Crucible destroying everything)
Removing the Scourge (Implied that it could be removed in Meridian, but then never brought up again)
Uncovering the Benefactor (Likely The Elusive Man or The Shadow Broker (Could be Liara or the previous one))
Turning outposts into Colonies
Construction of Port Meridian
Fixing Ryder - 01 (Previously Habitat 07)
The Ancient AI (Disapears after the Hyperion gets stolen)
Waking Ryder's mother
Restoring Communication with the Milky Way (They questioned why communication wasn't open after setting the nexus up)
Connecting the Engine (Meridian) to the Remnant City and activating all Vaults remotely
Primus informing the Kett Empire about what's happened in the Heleus cluster
And probably a few other smaller that I can't recall at this time.
So there it is. Why does the game feel like 3 different games in 1 package? Why did the game peak at EOS and then slowly decline for the rest of the game?
I look forward to discussions in the comments.
2024.05.21 14:03 kayakero Smart Money Concept: The Inner Circle Trader Theory
 | Surely in recent months you will have begun to hear about concepts such as Order Blocks, Break of Structure or Liquidity Voids, all related in some way to a new philosophy of understanding trading called Smart Money Concepts. submitted by kayakero to CapitalistExploits [link] [comments] To put some order and explain these concepts with some clarity, shedding some light on all this mass of names, we begin here this series of articles with which I hope to clear up all doubts. The Origin: The Inner Circle TraderTo understand what Smart Money Concepts is, it is inevitable to talk about the creator of this trading philosophy: Michael J. Huddleston.Known online as The Inner Circle Trader (ICT), Huddleston became popular more than 10 years ago when he started the eponymous YouTube channel, posting videos in which he discussed his trading ideas, his approach to trading in the currencies and his vision about the impact of psychology on trading. In case you dare to watch all the videos published by this good man from the beginning, I can tell you that some of them last more than 2 hours! Apparently, this long duration is completely intentional, because as he himself points out, he likes to leave hidden clues about his methodology in the videos, with the student being the one who must take the time to look for them and investigate them in depth. Huddleston initially published all of his materials openly (in fact, you can find links to his old videos on BabyPips under the pseudonym System, although they no longer work), but he later decided to eliminate much of the original material and create a mentoring service in 2017, which provoked the ire of his followers, receiving a multitude of negative reviews since then (especially because he originally said he would never charge for information). All this adds to the black legend that circulates in the forums that he managed several million dollars for a family of Greek millionaires settled in the US, to whom he lost a lot of money. In this way, Huddleston has become a quite controversial character, defended and hated in equal parts on the Internet. But there is no doubt that, today, its methodology based on Price Action has spread widely among traders . Smart Money Drives the MarketsThe starting point of the ICT philosophy is that Smart Money (basically, banks and institutional traders) basically acts as a price manipulator, looking for large accumulations of resident stop orders in the market to make them jump and achieve its goal to execute its orders and those of its clients at the best possible prices. And, in the words of Huddleston:Huddleston calls the algorithm that manages the markets IPDA (Interbank Price Delivery Algorithm) . The function of the IPDA is to manipulate prices in order to create liquidity in the market. Smart Money, which understands how this algorithm works, manages to take advantage of price movement by exploiting two aspects:
After reviewing a little what the philosophical basis of this method is, perhaps it is advisable to adopt a critical view (in fact, you always have to be critical with any trading methodology): although at first glance, the idea that the market is manipulated may seem seductive for many retail traders who seek to justify their losses due to this type of manipulation (how many times have we heard that: they have gone for my stop!?), the theory behind Smart Money Concepts must be taken with a grain of salt, since It is evident that:
Fundamental conceptsWe now move on to define some of the most important concepts used in the methodology developed by ICT and that we will use throughout the following articles.1. Order BlocksOrder Blocks are specific candles that, when properly analyzed in an institutional context, can highlight smart money buying and selling. In particular, we will say that:
https://preview.redd.it/nzdsr5azpr1d1.png?width=273&format=png&auto=webp&s=96a352636e93174212567279d9d5b74418574caa 2. Imbalance / Fair Value GapThe Imbalance or Fair Value Gap (FVG) pattern is a clear sign of market imbalance. To identify this pattern, simply take sequences of three candles and look for wide-range candles that barely overlap the upper and lower wicks of adjacent candles. That is, there is a price range in that large candle that does not touch the range of the previous and subsequent candle , leaving a kind of gap called Fair Value Gap.The size of this gap is obtained by measuring the distance between the maximum of the previous candle and the minimum of the subsequent one (bullish case), or the minimum of the previous candle and the maximum of the subsequent candle (bearish case). In the following graph, you can see a schematic explanation of what an FVG looks like within a bearish movement: https://preview.redd.it/sho820l1qr1d1.png?width=956&format=png&auto=webp&s=7de12836a101c240c887985a6c258f853123b088 3. Mitigation BlockIn this case, we are dealing with market failure structures, in which the price fails to exceed a previously established maximum or minimum. In particular:
https://preview.redd.it/j7e4vrv3qr1d1.png?width=513&format=png&auto=webp&s=f7ab92f4e5f25c580726e6d4a7854f4769855705 4. Liquidity VoidsThis term, which we can translate as “liquidity gaps,” refers to explosive movements , generally broad and without pauses in a single direction, that occur after consolidation, and as a consequence of the lack of liquidity for a given address.These types of long-term movements are usually “filled in” later , with the price making a reverse movement that sometimes even manages to reach the order block prior to the explosive movement. In the following chart you can see an example of Liquidity Void in a bullish context: https://preview.redd.it/8ymm2w26qr1d1.png?width=768&format=png&auto=webp&s=8b5f319229a6dd89fc951e69a6d91959cae82611 Useful Articles: BONKbot Telegram User Guide: Sniping 1000x Memecoins Unibot User Guide Top 7 Telegram Bots Get a $100 bonus trading with Binance |
2024.05.21 13:41 brianiceisnice I’m so mad, heartbroken, sad… I NEED to type this somewhere. IDGAF this my main Reddit account that I do EVERYTHING on… I just need to share this somewhere or my head’ll CAVE IN.. so i’m sharing this on two subreddits so i can BREATHE
TL;DR - selfish asshole of an older brother scams me and my parents out of $200.
Okay, so I’m not doing too well financially, but I live with my Mom and Pops so we try to make ends meet. A couple weeks back we were in such rough shape financially, that I had to juggle three day jobs just to cover rent and suppress the collector’s from knocking on the door regarding our collective debts. We so broke I literally can’t even afford to sleep because in the night=I can get freelance work done. “I can sleep when I’m dead,” has become my full-time motto (unfortunately). Anyways, to try to bring some income in my household I offer services as a freelance video editor.
A while back, my older brother (who’s a career criminal and has flee’d multiple countries when authorities were after him for violent offences) hit me up and asked if I’d be down to edit for him. I was hesitant at first, being as last time I heard from him was after he beat our Mum to a pulp when I was only 12. For context bro or sis, whoever you are that is reading this: if I was only three years older I wouldn’t have let that slide—I would have mobbed his ass right then and there, pinned him down and done him so fucking dirty… IDGAF if my 15 year old ass had gone to juvie for it, I would do anything for my mother, including take a life. But instead, all that’s been imprinted in my brain is how much of a bitch I was at 12–cowering under the dining table as he took multiple shots with a shoe, at our crying helpless mother on the ground.
Anyways it’s been a few years, I’m 24 now and he gave me a big sob story how he has changed. I bought it up like the good little sheeple I am… started editing for him under the guise that he’d pay me $200 per video: SCORE! That’s a lot of money!!!
I got to know his business (shady as fuck) and got to find out he now dreams of being a finance influencer (double shady) but alas, he’s my big bro and no matter what wrong-doing he’s doing, he convinced me that he was a good man. Ight, bet, I’ma edit for him and make some money for the fam! In between his ‘takes’ of videos he sends me, I piece together that his “wife” films the videos, and he’s still an extremely abusive person. He tries not to let it show on camera, but I’m really good with people, emotions and hidden trauma so I can feel the sickening ‘abuser-of-people’ energy SEEPING off of him, still, to this day. I feel sick to my stomach editing for him, but shit, he’s promised me $200 per video. Over the course of a few weeks I can see why he never told us about his wife, it seems he keeps her pent up somewhere in Georgia, Batumi, and forces her to do whatever he wants. He once referred to her as “his slave” which I originally thought was A JOKE, but now in the grand scheme of things… I don’t think it was a joke. I pray that authorities get to them before he does something to her, but idek where to begin to put a ‘concerned citizen tip’ in a foreign country.
Some context as to why I put up with all the red flags: Mom’s not working as she has to take care of the house and she’s also trying to make money online, any ways possible. She’s starting to sell her favourite clothes. It fucking breaks my heart that I can’t do shit about it… at 24 years old, with all the social media influencing and advertising, I feel like garbage that I can’t fully support my parents… at least not yet! Dad is constantly depressed because he’s almost 80 years old and can’t retire ‘cuz my parent’s are in too much debt.
Okay, anyways, three BIG videos done for him (by big, I mean I spent +8 hours on each vid) and brother’s paid me for ONE via PayPal… no worries, he keeps leading me on saying the money will come, the money will come. And PayPal says I got $200 coming my way from him! Uhh ight, bet? Mind you, I start PLANNING my life around this $200 notification because that’s a hot stack for me and my family!!! Takes PayPal about 20 days to actually let me use the money… ridiculous because we NEEDED it… but that’s okay, I work around the problems in life, much like we all have to.
Here comes the turning point: I’m a little overworked and a little coo-coo sometimes, and one night I start telling him personal shit, kinda pouring out my heart to him, venting almost. I don’t really remember about what, just life I guess, nothing negative towards him. Somehow he misconstrues it, gets upset with me, and ‘tells me off.’ I get upset with him, tell him his business is a sham and I’ma change the rules that we agreed upon. Since his fake-ass can’t pay me what was agreed upon, (maybe $200 is a lot for him, as well) so I ask him if we can do $10 per hour instead. I pitch to him that moving forward, anytime I edit more than five hours ($50), I will refuse to edit until the money gets sent. The conversation turns hostile, QUICK. He calls me a ton of bad names with an underlying message that I’m the biggest loser on earth for pursuing a dream in working in Entertainment & he ends it with a sweet “you’ll never be anything.” LOL WHAT? Completely out of pocket and out of left field, so naturally, I tell him to eat shit, I won’t be doing anymore free work and he can pay me a mere $30 (yes, thirty dollars) for the entire portfolio of audios, texts/scripts, videos, and clips I’ve taken from the internet that ‘match’ the vibe he wants in his videos.
Context: at this point I’ve completed SIX FULL VIDEOS FOR THIS DUDE and he’s only paid me the one payment of $200. Not good at maths? Me neither, lemme help you out. He owes me $1,200 from our original agreement because I’ve spent more than 48 collective hours working on his videos, and he’s only paid me $200. But I tell him: I’ll let it all slide if he pays me $30 for the portfolio of about 50 gigabytes, and then moving forward, he’d pay me the $10 per hour if he wanted more content from me. He already has the six full videos in his possession. The ‘portfolio’ is stuff I’ve found that’s free-use on the internet, stuff that I’ve compiled, and even some scripts that I’ve written out! ALL MINE that I did for HIS business. So it seems logical for me to give this portfolio as an option, just incase he wants to say nah moving forward on me editing for him, and just take the material & go our separate ways…
In response, my (35 year old) brother files a complaint on PayPal claiming he only hired me for a channel encompassing trailer that I did not provide and that I’m attempting to extort him for more money. LOL, WHAT? PayPal’s like BET and automatically attempts to deduct from MY chequing account, without even getting to the bottom of it. Obviously doesn’t work, my account (not PayPal account, my fucking bank account. these mf so overzealous that they reached right into my mf pocket!!!!) gets put in the negatives and I attempt to appeal, with no sweat on my brow ‘cuz I’m like no way PayPal finna let this slide. I then proceed to message my terrible relative multiple times, with texts, videos and audio recordings and I’m in a hysterical mess. I begin threatening him, I begin begging to him, pleading with him, saying anything under the sun just for the hope that he has some heart and would send back the $200 if PayPal does end up taking it from me. Already my chequing was fricked but I could do some damage control… I was cocky, thinking PayPal would obviously side with me once they heard the whole story, so I also told him since he’s caused such pain for me out of absolutely nothing, like completely unprovoked, then shit: I want the original $200 PLUS an extra $200 for all this trauma. He responds by blocking me on everything. It’s 4 A.M. and I’m shaking as I’m typing this…
Somehow after all the information I provided, PayPal sides with him. Wow, wait, what? PayPal has since tried to deduct my PERSONAL CHEQUING ACCOUNT multiple times in order to fish back the $200 which I ALREADY HAD TO USE!!! Idk if you ever had a payment tried to be taken out of an account which already has a negative balance, but the payment doesn’t go (it does a minus then a plus) but usually the bank is like WTF and charges you fees. Multiple times = Multiple fees…
Before, I was in the negatives on my ONE chequing account I own… now I’m in the NEGATIVE-NEGATIVES… no clue how tf I’ma get out of it, but we all persevere eventually! I’ve reached out to PayPal but I’m almost sure nothing will come of it.. I’m considering taking PayPal to small claims court to somehow try to fix all this mess, but I fear it’ll break me off more trouble than repair anything. If you want to DM me, I’ll gladly give you my brother’s socials to send a report to his accounts on Instagram or TikTok, or even leave him a not-so-nice comment if you’d like. Also let me know if you know how I can get in contact with the authorities in the country of ‘Georgia.’
I have absolutely no issues posting his socials, address, doxxxing his ass to the fullest extent, all to do whatever’s necessary: because I fear he will one day gain notoriety and scam a shit ton of people. Praying that never happens.
Let me know what y’all think!!!
submitted by brianiceisnice to venting [link] [comments]
Okay, so I’m not doing too well financially, but I live with my Mom and Pops so we try to make ends meet. A couple weeks back we were in such rough shape financially, that I had to juggle three day jobs just to cover rent and suppress the collector’s from knocking on the door regarding our collective debts. We so broke I literally can’t even afford to sleep because in the night=I can get freelance work done. “I can sleep when I’m dead,” has become my full-time motto (unfortunately). Anyways, to try to bring some income in my household I offer services as a freelance video editor.
A while back, my older brother (who’s a career criminal and has flee’d multiple countries when authorities were after him for violent offences) hit me up and asked if I’d be down to edit for him. I was hesitant at first, being as last time I heard from him was after he beat our Mum to a pulp when I was only 12. For context bro or sis, whoever you are that is reading this: if I was only three years older I wouldn’t have let that slide—I would have mobbed his ass right then and there, pinned him down and done him so fucking dirty… IDGAF if my 15 year old ass had gone to juvie for it, I would do anything for my mother, including take a life. But instead, all that’s been imprinted in my brain is how much of a bitch I was at 12–cowering under the dining table as he took multiple shots with a shoe, at our crying helpless mother on the ground.
Anyways it’s been a few years, I’m 24 now and he gave me a big sob story how he has changed. I bought it up like the good little sheeple I am… started editing for him under the guise that he’d pay me $200 per video: SCORE! That’s a lot of money!!!
I got to know his business (shady as fuck) and got to find out he now dreams of being a finance influencer (double shady) but alas, he’s my big bro and no matter what wrong-doing he’s doing, he convinced me that he was a good man. Ight, bet, I’ma edit for him and make some money for the fam! In between his ‘takes’ of videos he sends me, I piece together that his “wife” films the videos, and he’s still an extremely abusive person. He tries not to let it show on camera, but I’m really good with people, emotions and hidden trauma so I can feel the sickening ‘abuser-of-people’ energy SEEPING off of him, still, to this day. I feel sick to my stomach editing for him, but shit, he’s promised me $200 per video. Over the course of a few weeks I can see why he never told us about his wife, it seems he keeps her pent up somewhere in Georgia, Batumi, and forces her to do whatever he wants. He once referred to her as “his slave” which I originally thought was A JOKE, but now in the grand scheme of things… I don’t think it was a joke. I pray that authorities get to them before he does something to her, but idek where to begin to put a ‘concerned citizen tip’ in a foreign country.
Some context as to why I put up with all the red flags: Mom’s not working as she has to take care of the house and she’s also trying to make money online, any ways possible. She’s starting to sell her favourite clothes. It fucking breaks my heart that I can’t do shit about it… at 24 years old, with all the social media influencing and advertising, I feel like garbage that I can’t fully support my parents… at least not yet! Dad is constantly depressed because he’s almost 80 years old and can’t retire ‘cuz my parent’s are in too much debt.
Okay, anyways, three BIG videos done for him (by big, I mean I spent +8 hours on each vid) and brother’s paid me for ONE via PayPal… no worries, he keeps leading me on saying the money will come, the money will come. And PayPal says I got $200 coming my way from him! Uhh ight, bet? Mind you, I start PLANNING my life around this $200 notification because that’s a hot stack for me and my family!!! Takes PayPal about 20 days to actually let me use the money… ridiculous because we NEEDED it… but that’s okay, I work around the problems in life, much like we all have to.
Here comes the turning point: I’m a little overworked and a little coo-coo sometimes, and one night I start telling him personal shit, kinda pouring out my heart to him, venting almost. I don’t really remember about what, just life I guess, nothing negative towards him. Somehow he misconstrues it, gets upset with me, and ‘tells me off.’ I get upset with him, tell him his business is a sham and I’ma change the rules that we agreed upon. Since his fake-ass can’t pay me what was agreed upon, (maybe $200 is a lot for him, as well) so I ask him if we can do $10 per hour instead. I pitch to him that moving forward, anytime I edit more than five hours ($50), I will refuse to edit until the money gets sent. The conversation turns hostile, QUICK. He calls me a ton of bad names with an underlying message that I’m the biggest loser on earth for pursuing a dream in working in Entertainment & he ends it with a sweet “you’ll never be anything.” LOL WHAT? Completely out of pocket and out of left field, so naturally, I tell him to eat shit, I won’t be doing anymore free work and he can pay me a mere $30 (yes, thirty dollars) for the entire portfolio of audios, texts/scripts, videos, and clips I’ve taken from the internet that ‘match’ the vibe he wants in his videos.
Context: at this point I’ve completed SIX FULL VIDEOS FOR THIS DUDE and he’s only paid me the one payment of $200. Not good at maths? Me neither, lemme help you out. He owes me $1,200 from our original agreement because I’ve spent more than 48 collective hours working on his videos, and he’s only paid me $200. But I tell him: I’ll let it all slide if he pays me $30 for the portfolio of about 50 gigabytes, and then moving forward, he’d pay me the $10 per hour if he wanted more content from me. He already has the six full videos in his possession. The ‘portfolio’ is stuff I’ve found that’s free-use on the internet, stuff that I’ve compiled, and even some scripts that I’ve written out! ALL MINE that I did for HIS business. So it seems logical for me to give this portfolio as an option, just incase he wants to say nah moving forward on me editing for him, and just take the material & go our separate ways…
In response, my (35 year old) brother files a complaint on PayPal claiming he only hired me for a channel encompassing trailer that I did not provide and that I’m attempting to extort him for more money. LOL, WHAT? PayPal’s like BET and automatically attempts to deduct from MY chequing account, without even getting to the bottom of it. Obviously doesn’t work, my account (not PayPal account, my fucking bank account. these mf so overzealous that they reached right into my mf pocket!!!!) gets put in the negatives and I attempt to appeal, with no sweat on my brow ‘cuz I’m like no way PayPal finna let this slide. I then proceed to message my terrible relative multiple times, with texts, videos and audio recordings and I’m in a hysterical mess. I begin threatening him, I begin begging to him, pleading with him, saying anything under the sun just for the hope that he has some heart and would send back the $200 if PayPal does end up taking it from me. Already my chequing was fricked but I could do some damage control… I was cocky, thinking PayPal would obviously side with me once they heard the whole story, so I also told him since he’s caused such pain for me out of absolutely nothing, like completely unprovoked, then shit: I want the original $200 PLUS an extra $200 for all this trauma. He responds by blocking me on everything. It’s 4 A.M. and I’m shaking as I’m typing this…
Somehow after all the information I provided, PayPal sides with him. Wow, wait, what? PayPal has since tried to deduct my PERSONAL CHEQUING ACCOUNT multiple times in order to fish back the $200 which I ALREADY HAD TO USE!!! Idk if you ever had a payment tried to be taken out of an account which already has a negative balance, but the payment doesn’t go (it does a minus then a plus) but usually the bank is like WTF and charges you fees. Multiple times = Multiple fees…
Before, I was in the negatives on my ONE chequing account I own… now I’m in the NEGATIVE-NEGATIVES… no clue how tf I’ma get out of it, but we all persevere eventually! I’ve reached out to PayPal but I’m almost sure nothing will come of it.. I’m considering taking PayPal to small claims court to somehow try to fix all this mess, but I fear it’ll break me off more trouble than repair anything. If you want to DM me, I’ll gladly give you my brother’s socials to send a report to his accounts on Instagram or TikTok, or even leave him a not-so-nice comment if you’d like. Also let me know if you know how I can get in contact with the authorities in the country of ‘Georgia.’
I have absolutely no issues posting his socials, address, doxxxing his ass to the fullest extent, all to do whatever’s necessary: because I fear he will one day gain notoriety and scam a shit ton of people. Praying that never happens.
Let me know what y’all think!!!
2024.05.21 13:30 brianiceisnice I’m so mad, heartbroken, sad… I NEED to type this somewhere. IDGAF this my main Reddit account that I do EVERYTHING on… I just need to share this somewhere or my head’ll CAVE IN.
TL;DR - selfish asshole of an older brother scams me and my parents out of $200.
Okay, so I’m not doing too well financially, but I live with my Mom and Pops so we try to make ends meet. A couple weeks back we were in such rough shape financially, that I had to juggle three day jobs just to cover rent and suppress the collector’s from knocking on the door regarding our collective debts. We so broke I literally can’t even afford to sleep because in the night=I can get freelance work done. “I can sleep when I’m dead,” has become my full-time motto (unfortunately). Anyways, to try to bring some income in my household I offer services as a freelance video editor.
A while back, my older brother (who’s a career criminal and has flee’d multiple countries when authorities were after him for violent offences) hit me up and asked if I’d be down to edit for him. I was hesitant at first, being as last time I heard from him was after he beat our Mum to a pulp when I was only 12. For context bro or sis, whoever you are that is reading this: if I was only three years older I wouldn’t have let that slide—I would have mobbed his ass right then and there, pinned him down and done him so fucking dirty… IDGAF if my 15 year old ass had gone to juvie for it, I would do anything for my mother, including take a life. But instead, all that’s been imprinted in my brain is how much of a bitch I was at 12–cowering under the dining table as he took multiple shots with a shoe, at our crying helpless mother on the ground.
Anyways it’s been a few years, I’m 24 now and he gave me a big sob story how he has changed. I bought it up like the good little sheeple I am… started editing for him under the guise that he’d pay me $200 per video: SCORE! That’s a lot of money!!!
I got to know his business (shady as fuck) and got to find out he now dreams of being a finance influencer (double shady) but alas, he’s my big bro and no matter what wrong-doing he’s doing, he convinced me that he was a good man. Ight, bet, I’ma edit for him and make some money for the fam! In between his ‘takes’ of videos he sends me, I piece together that his “wife” films the videos, and he’s still an extremely abusive person. He tries not to let it show on camera, but I’m really good with people, emotions and hidden trauma so I can feel the sickening ‘abuser-of-people’ energy SEEPING off of him, still, to this day. I feel sick to my stomach editing for him, but shit, he’s promised me $200 per video. Over the course of a few weeks I can see why he never told us about his wife, it seems he keeps her pent up somewhere in Georgia, Batumi, and forces her to do whatever he wants. He once referred to her as “his slave” which I originally thought was A JOKE, but now in the grand scheme of things… I don’t think it was a joke. I pray that authorities get to them before he does something to her, but idek where to begin to put a ‘concerned citizen tip’ in a foreign country.
Some context as to why I put up with all the red flags: Mom’s not working as she has to take care of the house and she’s also trying to make money online, any ways possible. She’s starting to sell her favourite clothes. It fucking breaks my heart that I can’t do shit about it… at 24 years old, with all the social media influencing and advertising, I feel like garbage that I can’t fully support my parents… at least not yet! Dad is constantly depressed because he’s almost 80 years old and can’t retire ‘cuz my parent’s are in too much debt.
Okay, anyways, three BIG videos done for him (by big, I mean I spent +8 hours on each vid) and brother’s paid me for ONE via PayPal… no worries, he keeps leading me on saying the money will come, the money will come. And PayPal says I got $200 coming my way from him! Uhh ight, bet? Mind you, I start PLANNING my life around this $200 notification because that’s a hot stack for me and my family!!! Takes PayPal about 20 days to actually let me use the money… ridiculous because we NEEDED it… but that’s okay, I work around the problems in life, much like we all have to.
Here comes the turning point: I’m a little overworked and a little coo-coo sometimes, and one night I start telling him personal shit, kinda pouring out my heart to him, venting almost. I don’t really remember about what, just life I guess, nothing negative towards him. Somehow he misconstrues it, gets upset with me, and ‘tells me off.’ I get upset with him, tell him his business is a sham and I’ma change the rules that we agreed upon. Since his fake-ass can’t pay me what was agreed upon, (maybe $200 is a lot for him, as well) so I ask him if we can do $10 per hour instead. I pitch to him that moving forward, anytime I edit more than five hours ($50), I will refuse to edit until the money gets sent. The conversation turns hostile, QUICK. He calls me a ton of bad names with an underlying message that I’m the biggest loser on earth for pursuing a dream in working in Entertainment & he ends it with a sweet “you’ll never be anything.” LOL WHAT? Completely out of pocket and out of left field, so naturally, I tell him to eat shit, I won’t be doing anymore free work and he can pay me a mere $30 (yes, thirty dollars) for the entire portfolio of audios, texts/scripts, videos, and clips I’ve taken from the internet that ‘match’ the vibe he wants in his videos.
Context: at this point I’ve completed SIX FULL VIDEOS FOR THIS DUDE and he’s only paid me the one payment of $200. Not good at maths? Me neither, lemme help you out. He owes me $1,200 from our original agreement because I’ve spent more than 48 collective hours working on his videos, and he’s only paid me $200. But I tell him: I’ll let it all slide if he pays me $30 for the portfolio of about 50 gigabytes, and then moving forward, he’d pay me the $10 per hour if he wanted more content from me. He already has the six full videos in his possession. The ‘portfolio’ is stuff I’ve found that’s free-use on the internet, stuff that I’ve compiled, and even some scripts that I’ve written out! ALL MINE that I did for HIS business. So it seems logical for me to give this portfolio as an option, just incase he wants to say nah moving forward on me editing for him, and just take the material & go our separate ways…
In response, my (35 year old) brother files a complaint on PayPal claiming he only hired me for a channel encompassing trailer that I did not provide and that I’m attempting to extort him for more money. LOL, WHAT? PayPal’s like BET and automatically attempts to deduct from MY chequing account, without even getting to the bottom of it. Obviously doesn’t work, my account (not PayPal account, my fucking bank account. these mf so overzealous that they reached right into my mf pocket!!!!) gets put in the negatives and I attempt to appeal, with no sweat on my brow ‘cuz I’m like no way PayPal finna let this slide. I then proceed to message my terrible relative multiple times, with texts, videos and audio recordings and I’m in a hysterical mess. I begin threatening him, I begin begging to him, pleading with him, saying anything under the sun just for the hope that he has some heart and would send back the $200 if PayPal does end up taking it from me. Already my chequing was fricked but I could do some damage control… I was cocky, thinking PayPal would obviously side with me once they heard the whole story, so I also told him since he’s caused such pain for me out of absolutely nothing, like completely unprovoked, then shit: I want the original $200 PLUS an extra $200 for all this trauma. He responds by blocking me on everything. It’s 4 A.M. and I’m shaking as I’m typing this…
Somehow after all the information I provided, PayPal sides with him. Wow, wait, what? PayPal has since tried to deduct my PERSONAL CHEQUING ACCOUNT multiple times in order to fish back the $200 which I ALREADY HAD TO USE!!! Idk if you ever had a payment tried to be taken out of an account which already has a negative balance, but the payment doesn’t go (it does a minus then a plus) but usually the bank is like WTF and charges you fees. Multiple times = Multiple fees…
Before, I was in the negatives on my ONE chequing account I own… now I’m in the NEGATIVE-NEGATIVES… no clue how tf I’ma get out of it, but we all persevere eventually! I’ve reached out to PayPal but I’m almost sure nothing will come of it.. I’m considering taking PayPal to small claims court to somehow try to fix all this mess, but I fear it’ll break me off more trouble than repair anything. If you want to DM me, I’ll gladly give you my brother’s socials to send a report to his accounts on Instagram or TikTok, or even leave him a not-so-nice comment if you’d like. Also let me know if you know how I can get in contact with the authorities in the country of ‘Georgia.’
I have absolutely no issues posting his socials, address, doxxxing his ass to the fullest extent, all to do whatever’s necessary: because I fear he will one day gain notoriety and scam a shit ton of people. Praying that never happens.
Let me know what y’all think!!!
submitted by brianiceisnice to traumatizeThemBack [link] [comments]
Okay, so I’m not doing too well financially, but I live with my Mom and Pops so we try to make ends meet. A couple weeks back we were in such rough shape financially, that I had to juggle three day jobs just to cover rent and suppress the collector’s from knocking on the door regarding our collective debts. We so broke I literally can’t even afford to sleep because in the night=I can get freelance work done. “I can sleep when I’m dead,” has become my full-time motto (unfortunately). Anyways, to try to bring some income in my household I offer services as a freelance video editor.
A while back, my older brother (who’s a career criminal and has flee’d multiple countries when authorities were after him for violent offences) hit me up and asked if I’d be down to edit for him. I was hesitant at first, being as last time I heard from him was after he beat our Mum to a pulp when I was only 12. For context bro or sis, whoever you are that is reading this: if I was only three years older I wouldn’t have let that slide—I would have mobbed his ass right then and there, pinned him down and done him so fucking dirty… IDGAF if my 15 year old ass had gone to juvie for it, I would do anything for my mother, including take a life. But instead, all that’s been imprinted in my brain is how much of a bitch I was at 12–cowering under the dining table as he took multiple shots with a shoe, at our crying helpless mother on the ground.
Anyways it’s been a few years, I’m 24 now and he gave me a big sob story how he has changed. I bought it up like the good little sheeple I am… started editing for him under the guise that he’d pay me $200 per video: SCORE! That’s a lot of money!!!
I got to know his business (shady as fuck) and got to find out he now dreams of being a finance influencer (double shady) but alas, he’s my big bro and no matter what wrong-doing he’s doing, he convinced me that he was a good man. Ight, bet, I’ma edit for him and make some money for the fam! In between his ‘takes’ of videos he sends me, I piece together that his “wife” films the videos, and he’s still an extremely abusive person. He tries not to let it show on camera, but I’m really good with people, emotions and hidden trauma so I can feel the sickening ‘abuser-of-people’ energy SEEPING off of him, still, to this day. I feel sick to my stomach editing for him, but shit, he’s promised me $200 per video. Over the course of a few weeks I can see why he never told us about his wife, it seems he keeps her pent up somewhere in Georgia, Batumi, and forces her to do whatever he wants. He once referred to her as “his slave” which I originally thought was A JOKE, but now in the grand scheme of things… I don’t think it was a joke. I pray that authorities get to them before he does something to her, but idek where to begin to put a ‘concerned citizen tip’ in a foreign country.
Some context as to why I put up with all the red flags: Mom’s not working as she has to take care of the house and she’s also trying to make money online, any ways possible. She’s starting to sell her favourite clothes. It fucking breaks my heart that I can’t do shit about it… at 24 years old, with all the social media influencing and advertising, I feel like garbage that I can’t fully support my parents… at least not yet! Dad is constantly depressed because he’s almost 80 years old and can’t retire ‘cuz my parent’s are in too much debt.
Okay, anyways, three BIG videos done for him (by big, I mean I spent +8 hours on each vid) and brother’s paid me for ONE via PayPal… no worries, he keeps leading me on saying the money will come, the money will come. And PayPal says I got $200 coming my way from him! Uhh ight, bet? Mind you, I start PLANNING my life around this $200 notification because that’s a hot stack for me and my family!!! Takes PayPal about 20 days to actually let me use the money… ridiculous because we NEEDED it… but that’s okay, I work around the problems in life, much like we all have to.
Here comes the turning point: I’m a little overworked and a little coo-coo sometimes, and one night I start telling him personal shit, kinda pouring out my heart to him, venting almost. I don’t really remember about what, just life I guess, nothing negative towards him. Somehow he misconstrues it, gets upset with me, and ‘tells me off.’ I get upset with him, tell him his business is a sham and I’ma change the rules that we agreed upon. Since his fake-ass can’t pay me what was agreed upon, (maybe $200 is a lot for him, as well) so I ask him if we can do $10 per hour instead. I pitch to him that moving forward, anytime I edit more than five hours ($50), I will refuse to edit until the money gets sent. The conversation turns hostile, QUICK. He calls me a ton of bad names with an underlying message that I’m the biggest loser on earth for pursuing a dream in working in Entertainment & he ends it with a sweet “you’ll never be anything.” LOL WHAT? Completely out of pocket and out of left field, so naturally, I tell him to eat shit, I won’t be doing anymore free work and he can pay me a mere $30 (yes, thirty dollars) for the entire portfolio of audios, texts/scripts, videos, and clips I’ve taken from the internet that ‘match’ the vibe he wants in his videos.
Context: at this point I’ve completed SIX FULL VIDEOS FOR THIS DUDE and he’s only paid me the one payment of $200. Not good at maths? Me neither, lemme help you out. He owes me $1,200 from our original agreement because I’ve spent more than 48 collective hours working on his videos, and he’s only paid me $200. But I tell him: I’ll let it all slide if he pays me $30 for the portfolio of about 50 gigabytes, and then moving forward, he’d pay me the $10 per hour if he wanted more content from me. He already has the six full videos in his possession. The ‘portfolio’ is stuff I’ve found that’s free-use on the internet, stuff that I’ve compiled, and even some scripts that I’ve written out! ALL MINE that I did for HIS business. So it seems logical for me to give this portfolio as an option, just incase he wants to say nah moving forward on me editing for him, and just take the material & go our separate ways…
In response, my (35 year old) brother files a complaint on PayPal claiming he only hired me for a channel encompassing trailer that I did not provide and that I’m attempting to extort him for more money. LOL, WHAT? PayPal’s like BET and automatically attempts to deduct from MY chequing account, without even getting to the bottom of it. Obviously doesn’t work, my account (not PayPal account, my fucking bank account. these mf so overzealous that they reached right into my mf pocket!!!!) gets put in the negatives and I attempt to appeal, with no sweat on my brow ‘cuz I’m like no way PayPal finna let this slide. I then proceed to message my terrible relative multiple times, with texts, videos and audio recordings and I’m in a hysterical mess. I begin threatening him, I begin begging to him, pleading with him, saying anything under the sun just for the hope that he has some heart and would send back the $200 if PayPal does end up taking it from me. Already my chequing was fricked but I could do some damage control… I was cocky, thinking PayPal would obviously side with me once they heard the whole story, so I also told him since he’s caused such pain for me out of absolutely nothing, like completely unprovoked, then shit: I want the original $200 PLUS an extra $200 for all this trauma. He responds by blocking me on everything. It’s 4 A.M. and I’m shaking as I’m typing this…
Somehow after all the information I provided, PayPal sides with him. Wow, wait, what? PayPal has since tried to deduct my PERSONAL CHEQUING ACCOUNT multiple times in order to fish back the $200 which I ALREADY HAD TO USE!!! Idk if you ever had a payment tried to be taken out of an account which already has a negative balance, but the payment doesn’t go (it does a minus then a plus) but usually the bank is like WTF and charges you fees. Multiple times = Multiple fees…
Before, I was in the negatives on my ONE chequing account I own… now I’m in the NEGATIVE-NEGATIVES… no clue how tf I’ma get out of it, but we all persevere eventually! I’ve reached out to PayPal but I’m almost sure nothing will come of it.. I’m considering taking PayPal to small claims court to somehow try to fix all this mess, but I fear it’ll break me off more trouble than repair anything. If you want to DM me, I’ll gladly give you my brother’s socials to send a report to his accounts on Instagram or TikTok, or even leave him a not-so-nice comment if you’d like. Also let me know if you know how I can get in contact with the authorities in the country of ‘Georgia.’
I have absolutely no issues posting his socials, address, doxxxing his ass to the fullest extent, all to do whatever’s necessary: because I fear he will one day gain notoriety and scam a shit ton of people. Praying that never happens.
Let me know what y’all think!!!
2024.05.21 13:07 MangoEnvironmental58 Call of Cthulhu 3rd party policies
Hi redditors! I was reading the Miskatonic Repository Guidelines for publishing and creating 3rd party materials. I noticed that under those guidelines you can only publish via DriveThru and you can't crowdfund your projects. I also noticed that those guidlines only covers the 7th edition of CoC and to the direct question the answer is as follows:
submitted by MangoEnvironmental58 to callofcthulhu [link] [comments]
Can I create and sell content for previous editions of Call of Cthulhu?I tried to find online if there are rules for publishing 3rd party content with 5th or 6th edition rulesets, but i couldn't find any. Does anyone of you redditors knows if those rulesets are free to use? Are there limitation on crowdfounding projects for 5th/6th edition CoC content?
We will only accept content designed for 7nd Edition. If you have something for a previous edition that you want to use with a product, you must update it to 7th edition to do so. This does not cover updating entire scenarios published in earlier editions – we advise you to email us about such things as a pitch: [cocrpgsubmissions@chaosium.com](mailto:cocrpgsubmissions@chaosium.com). However, a sequel (or even a prequel) would be possible, provided it has more original content than content referenced from a previous editions’ scenario.
2024.05.21 12:34 therealmccoy1998 How did you figure out what career to get into?
I (25M) am currently working in the pharmaceutical sector as a junior scientist with a background in chemical engineering. It turns out I hate what I do currently despite making roughly 85k per year with <2 years of experience since graduating college.
My original plan was to try matriculating into a top 15 MBA program, with the hopes of pivoting into a “business related” field (marketing, finance, operations or strategy). I quickly realized how insanely expensive a top business school program is, and hoping to get a scholarship would be a very, very risky choice. The most in student loans I’ve ever had was $5k and I really don’t wish to have any more than this.
I’m extremely outgoing and people-centric, as such, I’ve have been told many a time by random coworkers that I’d so amazing in something sales / business related. Not to say I’m poor at my job, it is just obvious I belong elsewhere as I’m not passionate about spending my days in a lab.
My current issue is I how type-A I am. This morning I woke up at 4 am from the stress of not knowing what career decision to make next. I’m always trying to “optimize” outcomes. This past weekend, I got an idea an idea to switch into programming, after coming across an article online about someone’s career switch into CS, however, I feel that’s not something I’d actually love and I’d be doing it simply for the money - which I’ve now seen can be a recipe for disaster. I thought about switching into a role within my company, however, there aren’t many roles, and I think at this point I perhaps should just switch into a business related field at a non-pharmaceutical company. I don’t want to take a pay cut starting from the bottom, but it’s seeming this may be the only option.
Im currently looking into marketing, consulting (specifically at big 4), or a business analyst role at some adjacent company. I don’t really wish to leave my state, however, given the size, I think this may be the only solution.
Does anyone have any advice? Am I overthinking this? I just want to find something I love, I think marketing would be a great fit, but I also would love something that could make use of my quantitative / analytical thinking / skill-set as well! Any advice?
submitted by therealmccoy1998 to careerguidance [link] [comments]
My original plan was to try matriculating into a top 15 MBA program, with the hopes of pivoting into a “business related” field (marketing, finance, operations or strategy). I quickly realized how insanely expensive a top business school program is, and hoping to get a scholarship would be a very, very risky choice. The most in student loans I’ve ever had was $5k and I really don’t wish to have any more than this.
I’m extremely outgoing and people-centric, as such, I’ve have been told many a time by random coworkers that I’d so amazing in something sales / business related. Not to say I’m poor at my job, it is just obvious I belong elsewhere as I’m not passionate about spending my days in a lab.
My current issue is I how type-A I am. This morning I woke up at 4 am from the stress of not knowing what career decision to make next. I’m always trying to “optimize” outcomes. This past weekend, I got an idea an idea to switch into programming, after coming across an article online about someone’s career switch into CS, however, I feel that’s not something I’d actually love and I’d be doing it simply for the money - which I’ve now seen can be a recipe for disaster. I thought about switching into a role within my company, however, there aren’t many roles, and I think at this point I perhaps should just switch into a business related field at a non-pharmaceutical company. I don’t want to take a pay cut starting from the bottom, but it’s seeming this may be the only option.
Im currently looking into marketing, consulting (specifically at big 4), or a business analyst role at some adjacent company. I don’t really wish to leave my state, however, given the size, I think this may be the only solution.
Does anyone have any advice? Am I overthinking this? I just want to find something I love, I think marketing would be a great fit, but I also would love something that could make use of my quantitative / analytical thinking / skill-set as well! Any advice?
2024.05.21 11:23 Dense_Investment_587 WIBTA for starting to charge our kids rent?
Our 2 oldest are 19 and 18 and live at home. Our oldest is in college but is dropping out for at least a yr as she doesn't know what she wants to major in so she wants to take a break to figure it out and she is hoping to move states with her bf in the next yr or so. My 18 yr old was doing online HS but in the last mo th or so kinda fell behind and just came to us saying she isn't going to complete her HS diploma requirements in time to graduate. She does have 2 part time jobs and has been looking into GED programs. Now their Dad and I have brought up the subject of rent and while they didn't seem to mind at he cost seemed to be out of left field for them. We live in WA state and have a pretty high min wage. Once summer starts they will both be working full time. Rent will include everything with 1 meal a day (dinner). Any special foods/snacks will be covered by them along with personal items but we will cover normal household items like toilet paper, shampoo/conditioner, toothpaste etc. If rent is paid we will not expect them to do chores except the normal pick up after yourself, do your dishes and laundry etc. Now for the cost...we were thinking of charging 500 a month everything included. When my 19 yr old was in college we didn't charge her rent at all, and if she would have stayed enrolled we would have let her stay rent free but not now that she is dropping out. Our 18 yr old isn't paying until summer when school is technically over as she isn't going to college right away anyway and was planning a gap yr even before she decided not to get her HSD. They are both mad at us and think that 500 is too much. If we broke down everything not including food into 5ths it would be a little over 600 so I think 500 with dinners included is a great deal but they don't as it almost pays our mortgage. Am I expecting them to pay an unreasonable amount?
Edit: 18 yr old just started her second job yesterday. As for school she was finishing her senior yr online as she wasn't living g at home at the beginning of the school yr and online HS was easier for her at the time. When she moved back home she continued with it and continued to tell us she was keeping up. She came to her Dad about a week ago saying she wasn't going to graduate and she started falling behind around a month and a half ago but didn't want to tell us. We didn't realize as we trusted her and her work hrs were under 20 a week.
Also rent prices in our area aren't outrageous but also aren't cheap. For a studio apartment in a decent area it's between 1200-1500 a month not including pet fees and other bills. They can't move in with my oldest bf as he lives out of state and is in the USAF. Both of my girls have worked since they were 16/17, my oldest is still at her first original job and holds a manager position and they both have a decent savings started. They also already are able to come and go and have guests over so not much will change there.
submitted by Dense_Investment_587 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
Edit: 18 yr old just started her second job yesterday. As for school she was finishing her senior yr online as she wasn't living g at home at the beginning of the school yr and online HS was easier for her at the time. When she moved back home she continued with it and continued to tell us she was keeping up. She came to her Dad about a week ago saying she wasn't going to graduate and she started falling behind around a month and a half ago but didn't want to tell us. We didn't realize as we trusted her and her work hrs were under 20 a week.
Also rent prices in our area aren't outrageous but also aren't cheap. For a studio apartment in a decent area it's between 1200-1500 a month not including pet fees and other bills. They can't move in with my oldest bf as he lives out of state and is in the USAF. Both of my girls have worked since they were 16/17, my oldest is still at her first original job and holds a manager position and they both have a decent savings started. They also already are able to come and go and have guests over so not much will change there.
2024.05.21 10:30 Xenol06 Le persone di destra sembrano non aver capito il politicamente corretto
So che ci saranno sia persone di destra che di sinistra a leggere questo, quindi mi spiegherò bene per evitare di creare litigi.
Il politicamente corretto un tempo era semplicemente il termine usato per indicare il comportamento e il tipo di pensiero che era in linea al partito che era al governo. Col tempo il suo significato è cambiato e, come dice treccani: L’espressione politicamente corretto è un calco dalla locuzione politically correct, con cui ci si riferiva in origine al movimento politico statunitense che rivendicava il riconoscimento delle minoranze etniche, di genere ecc. e una maggiore giustizia sociale, anche attraverso un uso più rispettoso del linguaggio. ad esempio: evitare un linguaggio sessista, evitare espressioni discriminatorie ecc...
quindi in pratica è un'ideologia progressista basata sul moderare il proprio linguaggio e comportamento. uno può essere d'accordo o meno e ok. il punto è che non c'entra assolutamente niente con altre cose che la destra tradizionalista vuole mettere insieme: il politicamente corretto non c'entra con i gay, i neri o altro. e soprattutto: non c'è nessuna ideologia politicamente corretta al governo; il politicamente corretto non è censura e soprattutto è un'ideologia di una certa fascia di persone, ma non è qualcosa che ci obbliga dall'alto a non poterci esprimere. e il linguaggio più inclusivo non è censura e non è un "potere forte" nella nostra società e nella politica.
il politicamente corretto e il linguaggio più inclusivo possono avere problematiche di censura principalmente su alcuni social. come non poter dire parole discriminatorie online, ma il punto è che uno può usare altre parole (non discriminatorie) ed essere paradossalmente più discriminatorio di uno che invece ha un linguaggio più scorretto. il "meme" woman☕ è stato usato in maniera più discriminatoria di termini quali "troia" o "puttana", eppure per i bot di Instagram è un termine che va bene. questo può essere considerato un problema se volete, ma mi chiedo ancora come mai la destra si ostini a vedere il politicamente corretto come correlato a nazifemminismo, cultura lgbt o comunismo, quando è semplicemente una forma (a mio avviso molto stupida e non efficace) di tenere a bada termini sessisti o razzisti su social dove i commenti vengono controllati da bot. il politicamente corretto non è una dittatura, non è al potere e non obbliga nessuno a non potersi esprimere nella vita di tutti i giorni.
cosa ne pensate?
submitted by Xenol06 to CasualIT [link] [comments]
Il politicamente corretto un tempo era semplicemente il termine usato per indicare il comportamento e il tipo di pensiero che era in linea al partito che era al governo. Col tempo il suo significato è cambiato e, come dice treccani: L’espressione politicamente corretto è un calco dalla locuzione politically correct, con cui ci si riferiva in origine al movimento politico statunitense che rivendicava il riconoscimento delle minoranze etniche, di genere ecc. e una maggiore giustizia sociale, anche attraverso un uso più rispettoso del linguaggio. ad esempio: evitare un linguaggio sessista, evitare espressioni discriminatorie ecc...
quindi in pratica è un'ideologia progressista basata sul moderare il proprio linguaggio e comportamento. uno può essere d'accordo o meno e ok. il punto è che non c'entra assolutamente niente con altre cose che la destra tradizionalista vuole mettere insieme: il politicamente corretto non c'entra con i gay, i neri o altro. e soprattutto: non c'è nessuna ideologia politicamente corretta al governo; il politicamente corretto non è censura e soprattutto è un'ideologia di una certa fascia di persone, ma non è qualcosa che ci obbliga dall'alto a non poterci esprimere. e il linguaggio più inclusivo non è censura e non è un "potere forte" nella nostra società e nella politica.
il politicamente corretto e il linguaggio più inclusivo possono avere problematiche di censura principalmente su alcuni social. come non poter dire parole discriminatorie online, ma il punto è che uno può usare altre parole (non discriminatorie) ed essere paradossalmente più discriminatorio di uno che invece ha un linguaggio più scorretto. il "meme" woman☕ è stato usato in maniera più discriminatoria di termini quali "troia" o "puttana", eppure per i bot di Instagram è un termine che va bene. questo può essere considerato un problema se volete, ma mi chiedo ancora come mai la destra si ostini a vedere il politicamente corretto come correlato a nazifemminismo, cultura lgbt o comunismo, quando è semplicemente una forma (a mio avviso molto stupida e non efficace) di tenere a bada termini sessisti o razzisti su social dove i commenti vengono controllati da bot. il politicamente corretto non è una dittatura, non è al potere e non obbliga nessuno a non potersi esprimere nella vita di tutti i giorni.
cosa ne pensate?
2024.05.21 10:12 IcePopsicleDragon Senua's Saga: Hellblade I Review Thread
Game Information
Game Title: Senua's Saga: Hellblade IIPlatforms:
- Xbox Series X/S (May 21, 2024)
- PC (May 21, 2024)
- Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II – Official Trailer The Game Awards 2023
- Senua's Saga: Hellblade II - The Senua Trailer Xbox Games Showcase 2023
Publisher: Xbox Game Studios
Review Aggregator:
OpenCritic - 84 average - 86% recommended - 55 reviews
MetaCritic - 81 average - 34 reviews
Critic Reviews
AltChar - Asmir Kovacevic - 95 / 100Few games in recent times have been able to do what Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2 has done: make me feel so engaged and immersed that I wish the feeling would never stop. It is a game that will keep you in constant awe throughout the playtime with its fantastic and mysterious story, incredible graphic and sound presentation and realistic and brutal combat that will keep you on the edge of your seat the entire time.
Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II won’t be for everyone. But if you are looking for a brutal continuation of a fantastic story that feels like you’re actually playing a movie, you’ll have a great time here.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2 starts incredibly strong in the first half, but after certain revelations, the story speeds up to a point where the conclusion feels rushed and half-baked.
It has been a very long time since I played a game as assured, polished, and emotionally affecting as Senua’s Saga: Hellblade 2.
If you expect an immersive but not so interactive “game”, Senua’s Saga Hellblade II delivers a short yet intense experience. Ninja Theory has once again skillfully created an impressive atmosphere, as they did in Senua’s Sacrifice. Unfortunately, the issues remain as well: Puzzles and combat are too easy and there is no variety in either. So please keep in mind, that this is more a Hellblade 1.5 than a true sequel.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is well worth the wait and is a serious game of the year contender. Senua's follow-up journey is the best exploration of mental health that we've seen in games to date, using incredibly striking visual imagery, metaphors and immersive soundscapes to have you feel right there next to her. In what has to be the most photo-realistic game of all time, you're guaranteed to be constantly taken by the hero's adventure as you take in the beautiful and often haunting Viking Iceland. Through mud and dirt, blood and bones, Senua and Ninja Theory in turn bare all to you, the player. A masterpiece, benchmark and magnum opus, Hellblade II is crucial storytelling you won't soon forget.
With Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2, Ninja Theory shows that video games can be more than simple entertainment: they can be profound artistic and emotional explorations, capable of touching and transforming those who play them. This is an unforgettable journey into the heart of Iceland's darkness, where every step of Senua is a step towards self-discovery.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2 is a visual stunner for Xbox even if its gameplay isn't too creative.
Ninja Theory has finally delivered the long-awaited and provocative sequel to Hellblade, with one of the most impressive interactive cinematic experiences of the generation, which makes you question what is real and leaves you dreaming of the graphic potential of future games still on current consoles.
With Senua's Saga: Hellblade II, Ninja Theory builds the game it dreamed of, creating a title on a larger scale than any other.
Hellblade 2 continues Senua's story with grace, confidence, surprising brutality and thundering conviction.
The game sucks you skin and hair into its fantasy world and creates such an intense bond with the characters and their stories that you want to know at every second how the adventure ends.
Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II’s conclusion ends on another strong note, and despite my initial reservations about continuing Senua’s story, I walked away happy to see her conquer new monsters, both literal and metaphorical.
Hellblade 2 is perhaps the most visually remarkable Xbox title to date, but is ultimately undermined by its emphasis on fidelity over story and gameplay.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is a stunning and immersive storytelling experience that really puts the player into the mind of its titular character. It's even more narratively-focused than the first game (not to its detriment), with a bigger emphasis on how Senua sees and interacts with the world around her. The whole experience from start to finish has been beyond memorable.
Ninja Theory manages to place Senua in the Olympus of videogames with the most visually and sonorously powerful game we have seen so far. A spectacular, stunning and awe-inspiring journey.
Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II is another Viking-worthy feast for the senses that meets the high bar set by its predecessor, even if it never really manages to clear it.
The game's high level of immersion makes you want to play it from start to finish in one sitting. With outstanding audiovisual presentation and effects, it gives the feeling that you're playing a movie, not watching it. However, the gameplay elements, such as combat and puzzles, still lack significant meaning, which leads to rather disappoint feelings.
While the story & gameplay's broad strokes might be familiar, Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2's execution, perspective, and overall production values are just stellar and highlights Ninja Theory's strengths in delivering what it does best: story-heavy cinematic gaming. The characters are fleshed out and well-written, with proper focus on your main character and her turmoils that carry over from the first game, the fighting feels weighty and challenging without being completely frustrating, and the HUD-less approach to presentation is welcome.
A spellbinding meditation on anguish and compassion, Hellblade II delivers one of the most gripping interactive and sensory experiences of 2024
The chaotic story of Senua continues. We set out to take revenge on the Viking raiders who have inflicted devastating losses on the people of Orkney.
A joyless slog of barely interactive entertainment and a muddled portrayal of mental illness… that just so happens to have the best graphics ever on a video game console.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is a true masterpiece: a deep and highly immersive narrative experience that manages to make us feel all the protagonist's torment within an impressively realistic world. Ninja Theory reveals itself to be one of the most valuable studios in the Xbox stable here, reaching levels of absolute excellence in graphics, audio, narration, and acting. A must-play.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II keeps the basics intact, and while a strong lead character, great animations, and simple but enjoyable combat continue to deliver, the poor pacing and performance issues prevent this sequel from breaking free of its past.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is the best-looking game we've ever played - a true visual powerhouse backed by an emotionally charged story and gripping dark fantasy setting, if you can look past some of its shortcomings.
Hellblade 2 is a triumph in masterful storytelling and impeccable audio design for Ninja Theory. It is an emotionally powerful experience that depicts a sensitive subject that is hardly talked about in the medium.
To achieve this, the game stripped out several features and systems like combat and exploration in favor of a deeper narrative affair. This is not for everyone, but it is something I would encourage everyone to try at least try out.
Next gen graphics and presentation is now among us, next gen game design on the other hand, will be running late.
Despite its greater scale and visual splendour, this sequel fails to escape the shadow of its predecessor with a muddled tale that Senua herself feels out of place in.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2 is an impeccable story of coming to terms with trauma and making difficult decisions, punctuated by moments of outstanding beauty and strength.
Hellblade 2 is a stellar example of a sequel done right, building on the elements that made the original a landmark in gaming. It stays true to its roots, prioritizing depth and atmosphere over broad appeal. Fans of the first game will find much to love here, as it remains a unique and compelling experience. However, if the original didn't resonate with you, Hellblade 2 follows a similar path and might not change your mind.
Where the first game felt like a journey of self-discovery, both for Senua and for the player, Hellblade 2 feels more invested in creating the myth of Senua: Senua as legendary giant slayer, as mystical seer touched by the underworld.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is yet another arresting, artful chapter in an adventure now two games long. Though it might approach iteration with a very safe hand, only going so far as to correct the original's shortcomings, Ninja Theory's clear strengths in story craft, audiovisual design, as well as their care for the dark subject matter manage to shine through brighter than ever before.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II emerges as a visual and storytelling masterpiece, and is unquestionably the best-looking game I've witnessed on Xbox Series X since its launch.
A more uncompromising version of the first game, Hellblade 2 offers a well told story and immaculate presentation. But it's also even simpler, to the point where it treats interaction like an inconvenience.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is, at its core, a short game, but an excellent one. But it's not for everyone. It's a bloody and often disgusting experience based on strong emotions and immersion in a character that just won't let you go. It's more of an artistic experience than a traditional game.
An exceptionally well realized portrayal of Senua's struggle both real and praying on her fears, with brutal and satisfying combat and puzzles that require you to appreciate the world. It successfully continues what the first game started and improves upon almost every aspect.
Senua's Saga is a journey unlike any other. It's fantastical, evocative, and demonstrative of Ninja Theory being masters of their craft.
Hellblade 2 still does incredibly well. The new story is weighty, the audio is exceptional, the scenery is ridiculously dense and rich, and the combat feels intense and impactful in new and interesting ways.
The newest chapter in Senua’s story is powerfully told but feels like it’s missing a few pages.
Senua's Saga is as strong as its predecessor, if not more, and delivers both in its storytelling and on the technical side. The gameplay, however, has still a lot of room for improvements and boils down to almost-QTE combat and boring puzzles. An experience more than an actual and so-called video game, but an experience worth living nonetheless.
Senua’s Saga Hellblade 2 is a video game only on its surface. Scratch that away and you’ll see that it’s a deep, thought-provoking, interactive experience proving games are an art form that demands skill and talent. Ninja Theory should be very proud.
Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II features intense audio, beautiful graphics, and wonderful camera work, creating a powerful presentation that’s worth experiencing. However, the narrative doesn’t quite stick the landing.
The Outerhaven Productions - Jordan Andow - 5 / 5Video Review - Quote not available
Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II sets a new bar for performances and presentation. Combined with smart improvements to gameplay, it is arguably the most cinematic, immersive, story-driven experience we’ve ever seen.
Just like its forbear, Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II is an oppressive, powerful and haunting example of the power of video games, and one that sets its own parameters for what a digital experience can be. It is a game that must be experienced, not least because, there’s nothing else quite like it.
What Ninja Theory has achieved transcends reality, creating a work that is practically perfect for what it aimed to be: an audiovisual adventure with a strong narrative component. Beyond state-of-the-art graphics and sound that will undoubtedly set a standard in the coming years, what truly astonishes is the maturity with which the team has taken an excellent game like the first Hellblade and molded it into something so qualitatively impressive that it becomes difficult to even describe. This elevates the medium to a new communicative level, capable of evoking emotions and surprising players from start to finish. Experiences like Hellblade 2, which leave a lasting impression on the soul, are few and far between in a generation, and we can only rejoice in seeing how the beautiful artistic vision of the Ninja Theory team has become a reality.
Hellblade 2 feels like a living, breathing shapeshifter, manipulating its surroundings around the player with precision and consistency, making it one of the most visually stunning video games of this generation. This is an amazing title that carefully balances its artistic and gaming ambitions, a masterpiece that I encourage any gamer to experience.
Ninja Theory has created an outstanding sequel with Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2. An unforgettable narrative adventure that is brought to life through impeccable sound design, fantastic visuals, and a story that will stick with you long after the final credits roll. Hellblade 2 is one of the best games Xbox has to offer.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is a technical achievement for the gaming industry, the visuals are impressive and realistic in a way we haven't seen before and the audio design is very impressive. The game itself though, we think it could've offered more as puzzles are repetitive and combat is quite limited. However, the storytelling is strong in this chapter of Senua's journey, though it feels heavy and depressing.
Though uncomfortably bleak and distressing, Helldivers 2 is something truly special.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is an achievement in visual fidelity but fails to define itself amid clumsy retreads and unengaging new ideas.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is a beautiful but ultimately hollow game. The fantastic presentation props up a story that is less personal and engaging than in the first game, and the gameplay feels like an afterthought. It was great to see Senua again and to see her outside of the grief-misery she was enveloped in during the first game, but beyond that, there's not much to Hellblade II. It's a short and less memorable experience that shows off Ninja Theory's visual craft to its fullest - but it achieves little else.
While Senua’s Saga: Hellblade 2 might not set any new standards with its simplistic gameplay mechanics, from an audio-visual experience standpoint, it's frankly quite a stunning experience. Hellblade 2 is as close to playing the leading role in a big budget movie as you’re likely to get, and Ninja Theory’s continued coverage on the complexities of severe mental health issues deserves to be commended once more. Bravo, Ninja Theory. Bravo.
Despite the backing of a company as large and as well-funded as Microsoft, Ninja Theory have, in my opinion, nurtured their independent spirit and kept it well and truly alive in every facet of Senua's Saga: Hellblade II. It's brutal. It's breath-taking. It's brilliant. If this is “Independent AAA”?
Sign me up for more.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is undoubtedly one of the best games of this year. Not only does it shine in terms of audio-visual setting, but also in terms of story. The only element that could be considered caveat is at the same time its greatest asset, namely cinematography. Sometimes one gets the impression that the developers, in an effort to achieve the best possible effect, had to make a lot of compromises, which significantly limited the gameplay possibilities. Nevertheless, for a great narrative and immersion, this is something to turn a blind eye to.
2024.05.21 10:01 Turbostrider27 Senua's Saga: Hellblade II Review Thread
Game Information
Game Title: Senua's Saga: Hellblade IIPlatforms:
- Xbox Series X/S (May 21, 2024)
- PC (May 21, 2024)
- Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II – Official Trailer The Game Awards 2023
- Senua's Saga: Hellblade II - The Senua Trailer Xbox Games Showcase 2023
Publisher: Xbox Game Studios
Review Aggregator:
OpenCritic - 84 average - 86% recommended - 55 reviews
Critic Reviews
AltChar - Asmir Kovacevic - 95 / 100Few games in recent times have been able to do what Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2 has done: make me feel so engaged and immersed that I wish the feeling would never stop. It is a game that will keep you in constant awe throughout the playtime with its fantastic and mysterious story, incredible graphic and sound presentation and realistic and brutal combat that will keep you on the edge of your seat the entire time.
Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II won’t be for everyone. But if you are looking for a brutal continuation of a fantastic story that feels like you’re actually playing a movie, you’ll have a great time here.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2 starts incredibly strong in the first half, but after certain revelations, the story speeds up to a point where the conclusion feels rushed and half-baked.
It has been a very long time since I played a game as assured, polished, and emotionally affecting as Senua’s Saga: Hellblade 2.
If you expect an immersive but not so interactive “game”, Senua’s Saga Hellblade II delivers a short yet intense experience. Ninja Theory has once again skillfully created an impressive atmosphere, as they did in Senua’s Sacrifice. Unfortunately, the issues remain as well: Puzzles and combat are too easy and there is no variety in either. So please keep in mind, that this is more a Hellblade 1.5 than a true sequel.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is well worth the wait and is a serious game of the year contender. Senua's follow-up journey is the best exploration of mental health that we've seen in games to date, using incredibly striking visual imagery, metaphors and immersive soundscapes to have you feel right there next to her. In what has to be the most photo-realistic game of all time, you're guaranteed to be constantly taken by the hero's adventure as you take in the beautiful and often haunting Viking Iceland. Through mud and dirt, blood and bones, Senua and Ninja Theory in turn bare all to you, the player. A masterpiece, benchmark and magnum opus, Hellblade II is crucial storytelling you won't soon forget.
With Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2, Ninja Theory shows that video games can be more than simple entertainment: they can be profound artistic and emotional explorations, capable of touching and transforming those who play them. This is an unforgettable journey into the heart of Iceland's darkness, where every step of Senua is a step towards self-discovery.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2 is a visual stunner for Xbox even if its gameplay isn't too creative.
Ninja Theory has finally delivered the long-awaited and provocative sequel to Hellblade, with one of the most impressive interactive cinematic experiences of the generation, which makes you question what is real and leaves you dreaming of the graphic potential of future games still on current consoles.
With Senua's Saga: Hellblade II, Ninja Theory builds the game it dreamed of, creating a title on a larger scale than any other.
Hellblade 2 continues Senua's story with grace, confidence, surprising brutality and thundering conviction.
The game sucks you skin and hair into its fantasy world and creates such an intense bond with the characters and their stories that you want to know at every second how the adventure ends.
Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II’s conclusion ends on another strong note, and despite my initial reservations about continuing Senua’s story, I walked away happy to see her conquer new monsters, both literal and metaphorical.
Hellblade 2 is perhaps the most visually remarkable Xbox title to date, but is ultimately undermined by its emphasis on fidelity over story and gameplay.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is a stunning and immersive storytelling experience that really puts the player into the mind of its titular character. It's even more narratively-focused than the first game (not to its detriment), with a bigger emphasis on how Senua sees and interacts with the world around her. The whole experience from start to finish has been beyond memorable.
Ninja Theory manages to place Senua in the Olympus of videogames with the most visually and sonorously powerful game we have seen so far. A spectacular, stunning and awe-inspiring journey.
Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II is another Viking-worthy feast for the senses that meets the high bar set by its predecessor, even if it never really manages to clear it.
The game's high level of immersion makes you want to play it from start to finish in one sitting. With outstanding audiovisual presentation and effects, it gives the feeling that you're playing a movie, not watching it. However, the gameplay elements, such as combat and puzzles, still lack significant meaning, which leads to rather disappoint feelings.
While the story & gameplay's broad strokes might be familiar, Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2's execution, perspective, and overall production values are just stellar and highlights Ninja Theory's strengths in delivering what it does best: story-heavy cinematic gaming. The characters are fleshed out and well-written, with proper focus on your main character and her turmoils that carry over from the first game, the fighting feels weighty and challenging without being completely frustrating, and the HUD-less approach to presentation is welcome.
A spellbinding meditation on anguish and compassion, Hellblade II delivers one of the most gripping interactive and sensory experiences of 2024
The chaotic story of Senua continues. We set out to take revenge on the Viking raiders who have inflicted devastating losses on the people of Orkney.
A joyless slog of barely interactive entertainment and a muddled portrayal of mental illness… that just so happens to have the best graphics ever on a video game console.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is a true masterpiece: a deep and highly immersive narrative experience that manages to make us feel all the protagonist's torment within an impressively realistic world. Ninja Theory reveals itself to be one of the most valuable studios in the Xbox stable here, reaching levels of absolute excellence in graphics, audio, narration, and acting. A must-play.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II keeps the basics intact, and while a strong lead character, great animations, and simple but enjoyable combat continue to deliver, the poor pacing and performance issues prevent this sequel from breaking free of its past.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is the best-looking game we've ever played - a true visual powerhouse backed by an emotionally charged story and gripping dark fantasy setting, if you can look past some of its shortcomings.
Hellblade 2 is a triumph in masterful storytelling and impeccable audio design for Ninja Theory. It is an emotionally powerful experience that depicts a sensitive subject that is hardly talked about in the medium.
To achieve this, the game stripped out several features and systems like combat and exploration in favor of a deeper narrative affair. This is not for everyone, but it is something I would encourage everyone to try at least try out.
Next gen graphics and presentation is now among us, next gen game design on the other hand, will be running late.
Despite its greater scale and visual splendour, this sequel fails to escape the shadow of its predecessor with a muddled tale that Senua herself feels out of place in.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2 is an impeccable story of coming to terms with trauma and making difficult decisions, punctuated by moments of outstanding beauty and strength.
Hellblade 2 is a stellar example of a sequel done right, building on the elements that made the original a landmark in gaming. It stays true to its roots, prioritizing depth and atmosphere over broad appeal. Fans of the first game will find much to love here, as it remains a unique and compelling experience. However, if the original didn't resonate with you, Hellblade 2 follows a similar path and might not change your mind.
Where the first game felt like a journey of self-discovery, both for Senua and for the player, Hellblade 2 feels more invested in creating the myth of Senua: Senua as legendary giant slayer, as mystical seer touched by the underworld.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is yet another arresting, artful chapter in an adventure now two games long. Though it might approach iteration with a very safe hand, only going so far as to correct the original's shortcomings, Ninja Theory's clear strengths in story craft, audiovisual design, as well as their care for the dark subject matter manage to shine through brighter than ever before.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II emerges as a visual and storytelling masterpiece, and is unquestionably the best-looking game I've witnessed on Xbox Series X since its launch.
A more uncompromising version of the first game, Hellblade 2 offers a well told story and immaculate presentation. But it's also even simpler, to the point where it treats interaction like an inconvenience.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is, at its core, a short game, but an excellent one. But it's not for everyone. It's a bloody and often disgusting experience based on strong emotions and immersion in a character that just won't let you go. It's more of an artistic experience than a traditional game.
An exceptionally well realized portrayal of Senua's struggle both real and praying on her fears, with brutal and satisfying combat and puzzles that require you to appreciate the world. It successfully continues what the first game started and improves upon almost every aspect.
Senua's Saga is a journey unlike any other. It's fantastical, evocative, and demonstrative of Ninja Theory being masters of their craft.
Hellblade 2 still does incredibly well. The new story is weighty, the audio is exceptional, the scenery is ridiculously dense and rich, and the combat feels intense and impactful in new and interesting ways.
The newest chapter in Senua’s story is powerfully told but feels like it’s missing a few pages.
Senua's Saga is as strong as its predecessor, if not more, and delivers both in its storytelling and on the technical side. The gameplay, however, has still a lot of room for improvements and boils down to almost-QTE combat and boring puzzles. An experience more than an actual and so-called video game, but an experience worth living nonetheless.
Senua’s Saga Hellblade 2 is a video game only on its surface. Scratch that away and you’ll see that it’s a deep, thought-provoking, interactive experience proving games are an art form that demands skill and talent. Ninja Theory should be very proud.
Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II features intense audio, beautiful graphics, and wonderful camera work, creating a powerful presentation that’s worth experiencing. However, the narrative doesn’t quite stick the landing.
The Outerhaven Productions - Jordan Andow - 5 / 5Video Review - Quote not available
Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II sets a new bar for performances and presentation. Combined with smart improvements to gameplay, it is arguably the most cinematic, immersive, story-driven experience we’ve ever seen.
Just like its forbear, Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II is an oppressive, powerful and haunting example of the power of video games, and one that sets its own parameters for what a digital experience can be. It is a game that must be experienced, not least because, there’s nothing else quite like it.
What Ninja Theory has achieved transcends reality, creating a work that is practically perfect for what it aimed to be: an audiovisual adventure with a strong narrative component. Beyond state-of-the-art graphics and sound that will undoubtedly set a standard in the coming years, what truly astonishes is the maturity with which the team has taken an excellent game like the first Hellblade and molded it into something so qualitatively impressive that it becomes difficult to even describe. This elevates the medium to a new communicative level, capable of evoking emotions and surprising players from start to finish. Experiences like Hellblade 2, which leave a lasting impression on the soul, are few and far between in a generation, and we can only rejoice in seeing how the beautiful artistic vision of the Ninja Theory team has become a reality.
Hellblade 2 feels like a living, breathing shapeshifter, manipulating its surroundings around the player with precision and consistency, making it one of the most visually stunning video games of this generation. This is an amazing title that carefully balances its artistic and gaming ambitions, a masterpiece that I encourage any gamer to experience.
Ninja Theory has created an outstanding sequel with Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2. An unforgettable narrative adventure that is brought to life through impeccable sound design, fantastic visuals, and a story that will stick with you long after the final credits roll. Hellblade 2 is one of the best games Xbox has to offer.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is a technical achievement for the gaming industry, the visuals are impressive and realistic in a way we haven't seen before and the audio design is very impressive. The game itself though, we think it could've offered more as puzzles are repetitive and combat is quite limited. However, the storytelling is strong in this chapter of Senua's journey, though it feels heavy and depressing.
Though uncomfortably bleak and distressing, Helldivers 2 is something truly special.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is an achievement in visual fidelity but fails to define itself amid clumsy retreads and unengaging new ideas.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is a beautiful but ultimately hollow game. The fantastic presentation props up a story that is less personal and engaging than in the first game, and the gameplay feels like an afterthought. It was great to see Senua again and to see her outside of the grief-misery she was enveloped in during the first game, but beyond that, there's not much to Hellblade II. It's a short and less memorable experience that shows off Ninja Theory's visual craft to its fullest - but it achieves little else.
While Senua’s Saga: Hellblade 2 might not set any new standards with its simplistic gameplay mechanics, from an audio-visual experience standpoint, it's frankly quite a stunning experience. Hellblade 2 is as close to playing the leading role in a big budget movie as you’re likely to get, and Ninja Theory’s continued coverage on the complexities of severe mental health issues deserves to be commended once more. Bravo, Ninja Theory. Bravo.
Despite the backing of a company as large and as well-funded as Microsoft, Ninja Theory have, in my opinion, nurtured their independent spirit and kept it well and truly alive in every facet of Senua's Saga: Hellblade II. It's brutal. It's breath-taking. It's brilliant. If this is “Independent AAA”?
Sign me up for more.
Senua's Saga: Hellblade II is undoubtedly one of the best games of this year. Not only does it shine in terms of audio-visual setting, but also in terms of story. The only element that could be considered caveat is at the same time its greatest asset, namely cinematography. Sometimes one gets the impression that the developers, in an effort to achieve the best possible effect, had to make a lot of compromises, which significantly limited the gameplay possibilities. Nevertheless, for a great narrative and immersion, this is something to turn a blind eye to.
2024.05.21 09:59 ChristineLynnFoxx Why being transgender is not a sin!
Why being transgender is not a sin, by MARK WINGFIELD NOVEMBER 9, 2018
Link to original post: https://baptistnews.com/article/why-being-transgender-is-not-a-sin/#.YYk6tE7MK72I recently met a lovely young family in the northern suburbs of Dallas. They told me they previously attended a large Baptist church there – until their high school son became their daughter.
The mother was committed to her volunteer work in the church, and when she told the pastor who supervised that ministry area that her child was transgender, the pastor said: “That’s fine. We love everybody here. But it’s still a sin.”
“Blah, blah, blah, but….” Whatever comes after the “but” always negates whatever nice things were said in the first part of the sentence. Beware of the “but.”
Some would look kindly on the suburban pastor’s response because, after all, the pastor didn’t kick the family out of the church or condemn the teenager straight to hell. But.
Even among Christians who appear kind or progressive, too often the existence of someone who identifies as transgender gets chalked up to “sin.” No doubt that’s the root reason so many Christians happily pile on against transgender persons and their family members about bathrooms and schools, because in their heart of hearts, they don’t understand transgender identity and simply default to thinking it is a sinful lifestyle choice.
I think we all can agree that a “sin” is something we do that we shouldn’t do, something we have a choice about. If I eat an entire half-gallon of ice cream, I am likely guilty of the sin of gluttony. I didn’t have to eat the ice cream. If I fixate on why other people are more athletic and agile than me in my mid-life body, I probably am guilty of the sin of envy. There is a way for me to redirect my thoughts to avoid envy.
The same is not true of transgender identity. Emphatically and conclusively, this is not a choice. It is who a person is. Did you choose to have red hair? Did you choose to be tall or short? Did you choose to have the genetic markers you have? Of course not. Transgender persons are simply acknowledging that the gender identity assigned to them at birth because of physical anatomy does not match the brain, biochemical and genetic gender identity they know inside.
Since writing a column two years ago about understanding transgender identity – an opinion article that has been read more than 1 million times and led to giving a TED Talk on the same subject – I have conversed with hundreds of transgender persons and family members of transgender persons. That’s not just ministerially speaking. It really has been hundreds. Every one of those transgender persons has told me that they knew from their earliest awareness – from the time they were 4, 5 or 6 years old – that the gender anatomy they showed on the outside did not match who they knew they were on the inside.
There is an increasing body of scientific evidence to back up this assertion. For example, a 2008 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that female fetuses with increased prenatal exposure to androgens are more likely to have gender nonconforming behaviors. Researchers – including some theologically conservative ones – point to environmental factors that may be responsible for what appears to be an increase in transgender identity through endocrine disruption beginning in the 20th century. This is linked to industrialization, development of new chemicals and medicines.
But these environmental factors only explain an increase, not the presence of transgender identity, which has been documented for centuries. The American Academy of Pediatrics (not to be confused with a small association of conservative pediatricians often cited by critics of transgender rights) recently released a new policy statement explaining that variation in gender identity is a normal part of human diversity. For an excellent, lay-friendly description of the emerging science of transgender identity, look to this report from Harvard University.
I could quote chapter and verse for study after study, and that would not change the minds of some people who are determined to label as sinful anything they do not understand, usually because “the Bible says so.” In these cases, I ask people to tell me where in the Bible being transgender is condemned as sinful. The only answer usually offered is Deuteronomy 22:5, which says: “A woman shall not wear a man’s apparel, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment; for whoever does such things is abhorrent to the Lord your God.”
Here’s the problem with even a literal reading of that passage: Transgender persons will tell you they are not “men” putting on “women’s” clothing or “women” putting on “men’s” clothing. Instead, they are declaring an identity much deeper than clothing; they are saying that they are dressing outwardly to match who they know they are on the inside. This is not cross-dressing, which is not the subject of this column. Cross-dressing is about finding pleasure in wearing certain clothes. Being transgender is about finding mental and spiritual peace by aligning outward presentation with inner being.
Occasionally, people will point to Genesis 1:27 as a condemnation of transgender identity: “male and female he created them.” Most transgender persons will tell you they believe God has, in fact, created them as either male or female; the problem is how they have been labeled by others who are not God.
Some people today identify as “gender fluid,” meaning they find in themselves bits of both male and female identity and cannot definitely say they are one or the other. While this may sound unsettling to some of us on first hearing, a return to Genesis might help. There we also learn that God created both “night” and “day” and that God separated “land” from “sea.” Yet we have no problem understanding the existence of dawn and dusk or marshes and everglades. Also, the point of Genesis 1 is inclusion, not exclusion. The ancient text tells us that God created everything: “and,” not “or.”
The other lesson we need to keep learning from Genesis is that all humanity is created “in the image of God.” Everybody. Without exception. When we look at others who are different than us and try to see in them the image of God, we gain new understanding and empathy.
Sometimes well-meaning Christians get this part but still can’t get over the “sin” label. So they will say things like, “All of us are sinners in God’s eyes, and it’s just that my sin is different than your sin.” That’s another way of saying, “I love you, but….”
There’s an easy way to remember why this is wrong: Transgender identity is about who a person is. It is about their fundamental being as humans created by God in God’s image – an image that God has declared to be good.
2024.05.21 09:36 phantompath My Experience with Astrohaus as an Australian Part 2: Delivery, Unboxing & Set Up
Link to Part 1!
Hello! I am back with an update for my fellow Aussies on my experience with Astrohuas as an Australian. My Freewrite Smart Typewrite Gen 3 Ink Edition arrived today, Tuesday 21st of May. It has been quite the saga, one that makes me all the more determined to share my experience on this sub.
The last time I left you, my Ink was winging it's way from the offices of shipping forwarder service US to Oz in Oregon to me in Australia courtesy of FedEx International Priority. Some time on Friday, I got what appeared to be a phishing scam text. The text was supposedly from 'FedEx-Exp' and contained my full name, FedEx delivery/order number, a link to a payment service called BPoint and two customer service phone numbers for FedEx. What was this payment link for, you may ask? It was my customs duties and taxes bill, for roughly $247 AUD. I clicked through the link, despite my initial reservations. But the field that contained my name was my first name only, and it was half in caps and half in lower case. Too uneasy to continue, I closed down the web page and deleted the text, sure that it was some sort of particularly sophisticated scam. On Sunday, I received a random called from a landline in Victoria. As I do not know the number (and get more scam calls and texts than I care to discuss) I let the call go.
To my surprise, they left a voicemail. It was a very soft (almost inaudible) female voice once again giving my FedEx order number, the exact contents of my order and the same amount owing for customs duties and taxes. I use Google to track down FedEx's customer support line in Australia (it's 13 26 10 BTW), but of course it's a Sunday and nobody is there to answer my call. I resolve to call FedEx myself after work on Monday.
Thankfully, US to Oz came to the rescue once more. In the early hours of Monday morning, I get an email from Justin at US to Oz, telling me he needs a confirmed phone number for me as Australian customs are trying to get a hold of me. He informed me that we had just a few days to resolve the duties & taxes issue before the charming (not) Australian Border Force/Customs charged him as the sender the full shipping fee for returning my order to the US if the fees and duties were not paid. I promptly confirmed my phone number and emailed Justin a screenshot of the second 'payment' text I had received on Sunday, and he confirmed it was legitimate and not a scam. I paid via credit card through the secure portal/web page in the text and emailed Justin to confirm that I had paid. It is worth noting that duties and taxes are calculated including the cost of shipping, not just the value of the items in the order. The rest of the process was fairly easy, but as I only paid my duties in the early hours of Monday morning my shipment was delayed by a day, finally arriving today on Tuesday afternoon.
Only one question remains -
What the ACTUAL FUCK FedEx? My tracking emails from FedEx contained no reference to or mention of the customs duties & taxes payment process. It looked so much like a scam I almost lost my order altogether. I knew I would have to pay them, but the scam-adjacent texts and anonymous voicemails from someone who is barely audible and does not even identify where the call is coming from (yes, really) is absolutely ridiculous.
Anyway - moving on. I had already ordered a set of 90's themed keycaps and a portable lap desk thingy for my Ink, which arrived ahead of the device itself. My first order of business was connecting the Ink to wifi, which was very easy after the Ink booted up for the first time. Setting up Postbox was easy enough (done from the device rather than online) and getting it to sync to my Google Drive was super easy. I did a test document, tested the shredding function from Postbox and all was working seamlessly. I then set about installing two firmware updates and one software update (easily done if you consult the start up manual). The firmware updates you can control from the device, but the software updates seem more random. I then set about changing the lettered keys in the centre of the keyboard for the 90's themed keycaps I purchased - this was done pretty easily with the puller included with keycap kit. I may restore the original black keycaps if I get to the point where I am confidently touch typing on the new keyboard, otherwise they are definitely hard to see in anything but absolutely ideal lighting conditions.
I am now leaving it to charge overnight as the battery was only half charged upon arrival. All in all I am extremely happy with my purchase so far (FedEx & customs drama aside). For those readers keeping score at home, the initial order from Astrohaus was $865USD/ $1373 AUD, shipping to Australia was $238 USD/ $362 AUD and customs duties and taxes was approx $250 AUD after credit card surcharges. That's a total of $1985 AUD for the Freewrite Smart Typewriter 3rd Gen (Ink Special Edition) plus the felt and leather sleeve and the 2 year extended warranty. Is it worth it? Only time will tell. I would also highly recommend Justin and his team at US to Oz for the excellent and speedy service and all the help he was able to offer throughout the purchasing process.
submitted by phantompath to Astrohaus [link] [comments]
Hello! I am back with an update for my fellow Aussies on my experience with Astrohuas as an Australian. My Freewrite Smart Typewrite Gen 3 Ink Edition arrived today, Tuesday 21st of May. It has been quite the saga, one that makes me all the more determined to share my experience on this sub.
The last time I left you, my Ink was winging it's way from the offices of shipping forwarder service US to Oz in Oregon to me in Australia courtesy of FedEx International Priority. Some time on Friday, I got what appeared to be a phishing scam text. The text was supposedly from 'FedEx-Exp' and contained my full name, FedEx delivery/order number, a link to a payment service called BPoint and two customer service phone numbers for FedEx. What was this payment link for, you may ask? It was my customs duties and taxes bill, for roughly $247 AUD. I clicked through the link, despite my initial reservations. But the field that contained my name was my first name only, and it was half in caps and half in lower case. Too uneasy to continue, I closed down the web page and deleted the text, sure that it was some sort of particularly sophisticated scam. On Sunday, I received a random called from a landline in Victoria. As I do not know the number (and get more scam calls and texts than I care to discuss) I let the call go.
To my surprise, they left a voicemail. It was a very soft (almost inaudible) female voice once again giving my FedEx order number, the exact contents of my order and the same amount owing for customs duties and taxes. I use Google to track down FedEx's customer support line in Australia (it's 13 26 10 BTW), but of course it's a Sunday and nobody is there to answer my call. I resolve to call FedEx myself after work on Monday.
Thankfully, US to Oz came to the rescue once more. In the early hours of Monday morning, I get an email from Justin at US to Oz, telling me he needs a confirmed phone number for me as Australian customs are trying to get a hold of me. He informed me that we had just a few days to resolve the duties & taxes issue before the charming (not) Australian Border Force/Customs charged him as the sender the full shipping fee for returning my order to the US if the fees and duties were not paid. I promptly confirmed my phone number and emailed Justin a screenshot of the second 'payment' text I had received on Sunday, and he confirmed it was legitimate and not a scam. I paid via credit card through the secure portal/web page in the text and emailed Justin to confirm that I had paid. It is worth noting that duties and taxes are calculated including the cost of shipping, not just the value of the items in the order. The rest of the process was fairly easy, but as I only paid my duties in the early hours of Monday morning my shipment was delayed by a day, finally arriving today on Tuesday afternoon.
Only one question remains -
What the ACTUAL FUCK FedEx? My tracking emails from FedEx contained no reference to or mention of the customs duties & taxes payment process. It looked so much like a scam I almost lost my order altogether. I knew I would have to pay them, but the scam-adjacent texts and anonymous voicemails from someone who is barely audible and does not even identify where the call is coming from (yes, really) is absolutely ridiculous.
Anyway - moving on. I had already ordered a set of 90's themed keycaps and a portable lap desk thingy for my Ink, which arrived ahead of the device itself. My first order of business was connecting the Ink to wifi, which was very easy after the Ink booted up for the first time. Setting up Postbox was easy enough (done from the device rather than online) and getting it to sync to my Google Drive was super easy. I did a test document, tested the shredding function from Postbox and all was working seamlessly. I then set about installing two firmware updates and one software update (easily done if you consult the start up manual). The firmware updates you can control from the device, but the software updates seem more random. I then set about changing the lettered keys in the centre of the keyboard for the 90's themed keycaps I purchased - this was done pretty easily with the puller included with keycap kit. I may restore the original black keycaps if I get to the point where I am confidently touch typing on the new keyboard, otherwise they are definitely hard to see in anything but absolutely ideal lighting conditions.
I am now leaving it to charge overnight as the battery was only half charged upon arrival. All in all I am extremely happy with my purchase so far (FedEx & customs drama aside). For those readers keeping score at home, the initial order from Astrohaus was $865USD/ $1373 AUD, shipping to Australia was $238 USD/ $362 AUD and customs duties and taxes was approx $250 AUD after credit card surcharges. That's a total of $1985 AUD for the Freewrite Smart Typewriter 3rd Gen (Ink Special Edition) plus the felt and leather sleeve and the 2 year extended warranty. Is it worth it? Only time will tell. I would also highly recommend Justin and his team at US to Oz for the excellent and speedy service and all the help he was able to offer throughout the purchasing process.
2024.05.21 06:55 bloopingplatypus Review of Malaysian niche fragrance house - Olfac3's Baast
Hello everyone! I am stuck at home for 3 weeks and unable to go to a job I actually love because the ligament in my foot is completely torn up. To cheer myself up, I decided to order in some discovery sets from random niche fragrance houses in Southeast Asia! Over the next 3 weeks, I'll review all the perfumes in each discovery set I get. For the next 12 days, I start with reviewing just 1 sample from a local fragrance brand from Malaysia's Olfac3 every day. When that's done, i'll begin on a sample set from a singaporean niche fragrance house (Freda'D) and review 1 a day from that too. Finally, I'll do the same to an indonesian niche fragrance house (still looking for one that will ship to me).
We hear about niche fragrances from European, Middle Eastern or American countries in this sub reddit very often. But I haven't seen any from Southeast Asia which is a pity because this region makes cheap, unique and decent fragrances. I am not reviewing clone houses. These are original compositions by locals. I chose the sets to review based on how easy it was to order only small samples online. I definitely wasn't going to order full bottles for this project and many of these fragrance houses were not allowed to send their samples overseas to me because of the alcohol content restriction in shipping. So anyways, onwards to the review of the first of 12 perfumes in the Olfac3 discovery set! I started with the floral discovery set because it was the set I was least excited about. I do not like florals generally.
Floral discovery set 1) Baast
Notes: bergamot, pink pepper, pineapple, saffron, rose, blackcurrant and violet; with cashmeran, patchouli, agarwood, sandalwood, frankincense, and myrrh
Other people's feedback:
Asked my mum when I met her for lunch, "what do you think? How do i smell?"
She said, "wow you smell good."
I said, ' yes, but what do you smell? Flowers? Fruits? Wood? Is it spicy?"
Mum replies: "I don't know. It smells good. You smell like how your dad used to smell like when he wasn't allergic to perfume and could use it."
It's not a particularly helpful review, but thanks mum!
My review:
I went nose blind to this very quickly. Literally immediately. I definitely oversprayed (8 sprays, some on skin and some on my shirt) because I couldn't smell myself at all. But the minute I walked into the room to meet my mother, she went "wow you smell good." (My mother doesn't lie. If she thinks i am fat, which she does now, she will tell me so at least 3 times in our meeting) So it was definitely me who went noseblind and it's not that others can't smell me.
I shoved my shirt in my face. On cloth, the notes of pineapple and blackcurrant dominate the other notes. There is a smooth creaminess to the pineapple. It's not a sharp sweetness, but a soft creamy mix of pineapple and blackcurrant.
I then sniffed my skin carefully. On my skin, it smells a little bit more woody, powdery and spicy. There is still a soft sweetness from the blackcurrant and pineapple, but there is a little kick of spice from the pink pepper and an undercurrent of saffron that you can detect just under the fruitiness. How do you describe the scent of saffron? I know I love it in curries. It's got a slight honey sweetness, natural wild honey straight from combs, not the cloying sugared one you get from supermarkets, but there's also this mysterious other wild slightly musty scent to it? There is also just a tinge of smokiness, almost like sweet incense coming from far away. I like this fragrance a lot. It's got lot of nuance and layers. It is definitely not a linear scent.
Tomorrow I will review Aphrodite from the same set! The notes are: Turkish rose and tea, pear and peach, and musk.
submitted by bloopingplatypus to fragrance [link] [comments]
We hear about niche fragrances from European, Middle Eastern or American countries in this sub reddit very often. But I haven't seen any from Southeast Asia which is a pity because this region makes cheap, unique and decent fragrances. I am not reviewing clone houses. These are original compositions by locals. I chose the sets to review based on how easy it was to order only small samples online. I definitely wasn't going to order full bottles for this project and many of these fragrance houses were not allowed to send their samples overseas to me because of the alcohol content restriction in shipping. So anyways, onwards to the review of the first of 12 perfumes in the Olfac3 discovery set! I started with the floral discovery set because it was the set I was least excited about. I do not like florals generally.
Floral discovery set 1) Baast
Notes: bergamot, pink pepper, pineapple, saffron, rose, blackcurrant and violet; with cashmeran, patchouli, agarwood, sandalwood, frankincense, and myrrh
Other people's feedback:
Asked my mum when I met her for lunch, "what do you think? How do i smell?"
She said, "wow you smell good."
I said, ' yes, but what do you smell? Flowers? Fruits? Wood? Is it spicy?"
Mum replies: "I don't know. It smells good. You smell like how your dad used to smell like when he wasn't allergic to perfume and could use it."
It's not a particularly helpful review, but thanks mum!
My review:
I went nose blind to this very quickly. Literally immediately. I definitely oversprayed (8 sprays, some on skin and some on my shirt) because I couldn't smell myself at all. But the minute I walked into the room to meet my mother, she went "wow you smell good." (My mother doesn't lie. If she thinks i am fat, which she does now, she will tell me so at least 3 times in our meeting) So it was definitely me who went noseblind and it's not that others can't smell me.
I shoved my shirt in my face. On cloth, the notes of pineapple and blackcurrant dominate the other notes. There is a smooth creaminess to the pineapple. It's not a sharp sweetness, but a soft creamy mix of pineapple and blackcurrant.
I then sniffed my skin carefully. On my skin, it smells a little bit more woody, powdery and spicy. There is still a soft sweetness from the blackcurrant and pineapple, but there is a little kick of spice from the pink pepper and an undercurrent of saffron that you can detect just under the fruitiness. How do you describe the scent of saffron? I know I love it in curries. It's got a slight honey sweetness, natural wild honey straight from combs, not the cloying sugared one you get from supermarkets, but there's also this mysterious other wild slightly musty scent to it? There is also just a tinge of smokiness, almost like sweet incense coming from far away. I like this fragrance a lot. It's got lot of nuance and layers. It is definitely not a linear scent.
Tomorrow I will review Aphrodite from the same set! The notes are: Turkish rose and tea, pear and peach, and musk.
2024.05.21 06:25 Nel_The_Gamemaster [Online][Roll20][5e]Pro DM, running high quality campaign. Odyssey of the Dragonlords (levels 1-20)[Tuesdays 6:00PM- 10PM~ CST] [$30/session]
Experienced DM of over 25 years, 8 years professional, for a 5 player high quality campaign of mythical proportions. From the lead designer of Baldur's Gate, Dragon Age: Origins, and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic...
At the dawn of time, a war between the gods and Titans left the world of Thylea forever changed. Thousands of years later, the first mortals arrived, carried by ship and dragon.
You are one of the heroes called by prophecy to end the conflict once and for all. Poets will sing of your deeds for centuries to come... if you survive.
What can you expect from this epic campaign and me?
• Will run from 8 pm PST for about 4 hours.
• The campaign will be ran at the apex of my skills tailored around the characters and the player actions. This setting uses variants that will accelerate your character to mythical levels as well. Including many crafting options and close to 600 feat options you wont find anywhere else. Leading to great character customization that you will not find in other games.
• Transparent and Reliable DM who understands everyone is part of the group, and that a person is sitting behind their PC.
• As a wargamer expect the most effective tactics the encounters presented in the module can bring, while staying true to what an RPG is and its narrative.
• Smaller party size, having at maximum 5 players, helps to keep the party alive, while still allowing the freedom to work character plots in for a more personal experience.
• While I am a fan of good tactics in combat, I am a bigger fan about letting the game go in unexpected directions! No rails here.
• Premium Graphics! I value good game flow, as such I spend a lot of time creating handouts and visuals for the players, and an excellent landing page that will keep you informed.
• I optimize Roll 20 as best I can, no unnecessary pages and art. Expect the game to run as best as Roll 20 can. (which sometimes can be clunky)
• If a session cant be run on the scheduled date, the possibility of me running either a one shot, my living world west marches style campaign, or side quest may come up for you and other players available. This may include other players from Discord, all great players!
• Potential downtime chatting and dice rolling on discord, to handle personal tasks and elements that can be handled away from table time.
• Answers to any questions, and whatever advice I can give out either for Players or other GMs.
What do I expect of you?
• Long term commitment, be ready to commit please. I pride myself in completing campaigns I run. I expect you to be there to the end, and maybe more.
• Ages 25+ friendly to all! I tailor to an older crowd, you can expect a mature set of gamers in the discord, as I find younger crowds have a dynamic lifestyle that is not ideal for long term commitment. If younger than 25 and interested please message me.
• Please respect the other players in the table and discord. Treat them as you would yourself and friends.
• Be an adult about the game, if your sensitive to some subjects, such as horror and sanity please bring this up to me, as mature elements will come into play.
• Be as creative and innovative as you can be both in and outside of combat! I really enjoy personalizing the module if possible to the players and their story.
• An account for Discord, free to download and simple to set up.
• Payments done after each game, however If you didn't enjoy yourself, no charge for the next session! Please bring this up to me so I can work with you to bring out the best out of each session.
• Everyone has a life outside of our games, players have the option to join in Discord to listen in on the session for those who travel often or just cant make it to the PC in time. No Charge for listening and voicing your character opinions!
• Any questions let me know.
Who is your DM?
My name is Nelson, I'm 40 and have been playing TRPGs for almost 25 years now back since AD&D. DMing nearly all that time and now DMing professionally for about 8 years now. I'm a huge fan of fantasy novels, horror movies and rpg/tactics games such as FF tactics, X-Com, Divinity, Elden Ring. I personally love Tarantino, Mobster films, StarWars (old ones), and movies such as Donny Darko, and other random cult films. I have great knowledge of most rule books, and have some minor home brewed changes I use myself in my campaigns that I feel add depth/challenge. I am also well versed in other RPG systems which I run at times for my players. Players will receive links to all variants and guidelines once they join.
Why the value?
While this is first a hobby for me, it has now become my life pursuit. You will get what you pay for! At 8 years of running games on roll20 and Foundry, I feel I have learned plenty to run as best and efficient as possible, while providing the right excitement and tension a session needs! Expect a dedicated group, great community in discord and a very well fleshed out campaign. Many Life DMs find a spot here as a player, and many players find more than one spot in multiple games. Some have for nearly 8 years now!
Outside of that I have recently found myself when I do have any time for anything outside of my wife and kids. I put a lot of time and care into all my sessions and work with the players as best I can to accommodate them and help draw the adventure out of everyone. I add plenty of elements to the module such as Fate Cards, Strongholds, Advanced Scripting and tables for aspects such as Status Effects, Blood, Weather, Critical effects, etc. I love having great visuals, which I'm always working on as I obsess over my current campaigns! As such the prep times for the game have become huge now, and VTTs while fun to use, can be very clunky to use. I also like to run a more personal, dynamic game instead of an 6-8 player game that a lot of online gamemasters tend to run. This also includes adjusting the challenges and the story for the party, expect your character, not just the party, to be challenged in ways unique to the player.
The application process for everyone tends to be a headache. I find that the fee has helped me keep things running smooth since I can quickly tell who can commit/invest to the campaign and their level of dedication, and who they are. While it does take a few weeks to set up the right group, I can if possible group up like minded players for the journey. You can expect the campaign to run until the end with a competent, mature group. I'm always available on discord if possible to answer any questions or just to chat. The discord server you will join is currently full of helpful players, that provide a good community of passionate players, and who knows maybe they might be part of your next adventure. And ultimately your patronage allows me the freedom to purchase art packages, battlemaps, handouts, better audio, the many monthly subscriptions I commit to TRPGs, etc. all which help add to the immersion and excitement, but also allow me to give back to not just the group, but to our the community.
Thank you for taking the time to read this wall of text, and for checking out my game.
Hope you can join me in this unforgettable adventure!
I also run other games during the week if you are interested in joining. Including other systems, private games, and even solo ran adventures. If you are interested please message me so I can accommodate you if a spot is open.
submitted by Nel_The_Gamemaster to lfgpremium [link] [comments]
At the dawn of time, a war between the gods and Titans left the world of Thylea forever changed. Thousands of years later, the first mortals arrived, carried by ship and dragon.
You are one of the heroes called by prophecy to end the conflict once and for all. Poets will sing of your deeds for centuries to come... if you survive.
What can you expect from this epic campaign and me?
• Will run from 8 pm PST for about 4 hours.
• The campaign will be ran at the apex of my skills tailored around the characters and the player actions. This setting uses variants that will accelerate your character to mythical levels as well. Including many crafting options and close to 600 feat options you wont find anywhere else. Leading to great character customization that you will not find in other games.
• Transparent and Reliable DM who understands everyone is part of the group, and that a person is sitting behind their PC.
• As a wargamer expect the most effective tactics the encounters presented in the module can bring, while staying true to what an RPG is and its narrative.
• Smaller party size, having at maximum 5 players, helps to keep the party alive, while still allowing the freedom to work character plots in for a more personal experience.
• While I am a fan of good tactics in combat, I am a bigger fan about letting the game go in unexpected directions! No rails here.
• Premium Graphics! I value good game flow, as such I spend a lot of time creating handouts and visuals for the players, and an excellent landing page that will keep you informed.
• I optimize Roll 20 as best I can, no unnecessary pages and art. Expect the game to run as best as Roll 20 can. (which sometimes can be clunky)
• If a session cant be run on the scheduled date, the possibility of me running either a one shot, my living world west marches style campaign, or side quest may come up for you and other players available. This may include other players from Discord, all great players!
• Potential downtime chatting and dice rolling on discord, to handle personal tasks and elements that can be handled away from table time.
• Answers to any questions, and whatever advice I can give out either for Players or other GMs.
What do I expect of you?
• Long term commitment, be ready to commit please. I pride myself in completing campaigns I run. I expect you to be there to the end, and maybe more.
• Ages 25+ friendly to all! I tailor to an older crowd, you can expect a mature set of gamers in the discord, as I find younger crowds have a dynamic lifestyle that is not ideal for long term commitment. If younger than 25 and interested please message me.
• Please respect the other players in the table and discord. Treat them as you would yourself and friends.
• Be an adult about the game, if your sensitive to some subjects, such as horror and sanity please bring this up to me, as mature elements will come into play.
• Be as creative and innovative as you can be both in and outside of combat! I really enjoy personalizing the module if possible to the players and their story.
• An account for Discord, free to download and simple to set up.
• Payments done after each game, however If you didn't enjoy yourself, no charge for the next session! Please bring this up to me so I can work with you to bring out the best out of each session.
• Everyone has a life outside of our games, players have the option to join in Discord to listen in on the session for those who travel often or just cant make it to the PC in time. No Charge for listening and voicing your character opinions!
• Any questions let me know.
Who is your DM?
My name is Nelson, I'm 40 and have been playing TRPGs for almost 25 years now back since AD&D. DMing nearly all that time and now DMing professionally for about 8 years now. I'm a huge fan of fantasy novels, horror movies and rpg/tactics games such as FF tactics, X-Com, Divinity, Elden Ring. I personally love Tarantino, Mobster films, StarWars (old ones), and movies such as Donny Darko, and other random cult films. I have great knowledge of most rule books, and have some minor home brewed changes I use myself in my campaigns that I feel add depth/challenge. I am also well versed in other RPG systems which I run at times for my players. Players will receive links to all variants and guidelines once they join.
Why the value?
While this is first a hobby for me, it has now become my life pursuit. You will get what you pay for! At 8 years of running games on roll20 and Foundry, I feel I have learned plenty to run as best and efficient as possible, while providing the right excitement and tension a session needs! Expect a dedicated group, great community in discord and a very well fleshed out campaign. Many Life DMs find a spot here as a player, and many players find more than one spot in multiple games. Some have for nearly 8 years now!
Outside of that I have recently found myself when I do have any time for anything outside of my wife and kids. I put a lot of time and care into all my sessions and work with the players as best I can to accommodate them and help draw the adventure out of everyone. I add plenty of elements to the module such as Fate Cards, Strongholds, Advanced Scripting and tables for aspects such as Status Effects, Blood, Weather, Critical effects, etc. I love having great visuals, which I'm always working on as I obsess over my current campaigns! As such the prep times for the game have become huge now, and VTTs while fun to use, can be very clunky to use. I also like to run a more personal, dynamic game instead of an 6-8 player game that a lot of online gamemasters tend to run. This also includes adjusting the challenges and the story for the party, expect your character, not just the party, to be challenged in ways unique to the player.
The application process for everyone tends to be a headache. I find that the fee has helped me keep things running smooth since I can quickly tell who can commit/invest to the campaign and their level of dedication, and who they are. While it does take a few weeks to set up the right group, I can if possible group up like minded players for the journey. You can expect the campaign to run until the end with a competent, mature group. I'm always available on discord if possible to answer any questions or just to chat. The discord server you will join is currently full of helpful players, that provide a good community of passionate players, and who knows maybe they might be part of your next adventure. And ultimately your patronage allows me the freedom to purchase art packages, battlemaps, handouts, better audio, the many monthly subscriptions I commit to TRPGs, etc. all which help add to the immersion and excitement, but also allow me to give back to not just the group, but to our the community.
Thank you for taking the time to read this wall of text, and for checking out my game.
Hope you can join me in this unforgettable adventure!
I also run other games during the week if you are interested in joining. Including other systems, private games, and even solo ran adventures. If you are interested please message me so I can accommodate you if a spot is open.
2024.05.21 06:00 Nanaco7 Mother in law frustrates and irritates me even though she is a nice person, advice from other daughter in laws
Dear Reddit community,
I have a mother in law situation, I would love some advice if you have felt similar to me.
I have also made it all the worse by how I have acted, I'm not very good at hiding my feelings. She is actually a nice lady, although comments have been made by her own family members which I'll discuss below, I will discuss what frustrates me first and add context. It is a long read I am a little lost with this situation and it isn't going to be ongoing unfortunately.
My mother in law, is retired now, and comes from abroad, she tends to stay for a long time, last time was 1 month. Unfortunately she had to come alone, even though she had planned to come with my husband's aunt, which would have kept her company but she wasn't able to come. We were very busy with a renovation project and I felt bad that she wasn't being entertained. While also frustrated that she'd decide to come for a time we are both always busy during, albeit one of the most beautiful times of the year. She also refused to drive, (or travel by herself elsewhere) but then complained that the rural bus took such a long time, even though she was welcome to use our car while we we working.
This time she has come with her "friend" as she keeps telling our friends in this area, assuming he is a her partner, but that's also something which I don't have the capcity to pry about and can see from her previous relationships and being single as an older woman for a long timer, perhaps this is a confusing situation for her, I'm not sure. Her "friend" is very pleasant and nice, I'm glad she has a nice companion.
She has her own property nearby, so we can at least have our own privacy and hers too. While she is away we manage her house to be rented for the short term for tourists.
We live in a seasonal area, that is busy for short bursts and then quiet for months. So it's beautiful area to enjoy, so people always come and when they do they are on holiday but this is where we live.
I find everything MIL says annoying, frustrating and I don't know why but I just can't stand being around my MIL. She will just ask question after question, which my husband patiently answers. Meanwhile none of the replies seem to go in and aren't retained. I understand where we live is abroad for her, but she comes visit and doesn't seem to retain much of how things are here, I guess it's so foreign, its a big cultural difference to her and her home comforts. While she couldn't see us during the pandemic, she doesn't seem so old that she should have forgotten so many details.
The question asking I find infuriating which I just find really like prying, a friend told me it's a bid for connection, but it doesn't come that way to me. I did get frustrated last year and said I don't have the capacity for all her questions, and of course it offended her, yet has retained none of this visiting us again a few months later.
I just stay silent when we had to finally all hang out with my MIL, my husband and her "friend" companion man person. Because otherwise what I say comes out nasty and the annoyed-ness, contemptuousness isn't well hidden. Yes it is nasty of me I understand that, but I just don't know what to do about how I feel and I can't hide it.
She has finally realised this, I guess she was ignoring it, and she is a non confrontational person like my husband, which I am not, I don't want to make it worse by shouting at her. So has said she doesn't want me around. Which I'm glad, because the pretense of trying to seem like I like or enjoy her company was quite obvious that I didn't enjoy a minute of it. But I've felt I must hang out with my MIL for my husband's sake, which caused more arguments between my husband and I, in the end.
She also tends to act perhaps very soft, gentle, dithering by asking for advice, but Never taking it on, so it just feels like she's just wasting your time. In order to just then let you know what she has decided instead, then why ask for advice, make up your own mind instead, who cares if the decision is right or not, it seems like this "softness" is somewhat passive aggressive and manipulative.
My husband told me my sister in law has said that when she has visited her, she has been really fretting about making decisions, and asking for advice but not particularly interested of taking that on.
This is unfortunately this situation is putting my husband in the middle and it is causing him a lot of stress and grief.
I no longer go to his mother and he is responsible for his mother and the communication with her. Which has been a lot better on this visit, as she has misunderstood what I've messaged her on her last visit.
She's already discussing visiting us next year and we would like to make plans but it makes it feel like we can't because she has simply decided what she'll do and just come. He has told her that we may not be here and we are now realising that if she is just simply putting herself first, we must do so for ourselves as a couple too.
Another thing which I just find puzzling. Unless you're in our area to ski or hike, there isn't really much else to do where we live, she does neither activity. So why not spend that time visiting to see more of the country and travel? Yet she doesn't want to spend money. Which is a scarcity mindset of her own and probably due to saving pennies from her pension, but also you only live once and are only going to keep getting older and more tired. I might reiterate she is middle class but certainly not super poor, as she paid a lot of money for her flight to get here, it isn't cheap.
I am currently going through a bit of a lonely and hard season, my husband and I both feel a little trapped by our responsibilities. I won't go into more details but we are working through this, lots of arguments and it's been hard. While as my MIL hasn't had any long term relationships, I'm not super keen to have her involved or ask for advice in regards to our relationship, she won't even call this guy whose visiting with her right now, her boyfriend.
The interesting part about her long visits, which I know I should feel grateful for but I am not, as she came from very far away to be visiting my husband. Is that he left home at about 16 years old, she got him out of the rural area they are from as he had made some friends who were bad influences and he is glad that he moved away to study at such a young age and it made him who he is today.
So really since he has been a very young man, he hasn't spent much time for more than days with his mother.
He would tell me that she would grill him, as he used to smoke and very rightly didn't approve, so he'd avoid her and his dad (they were separated) lived nearby although he is a difficult narcissist, probably due to his narcissism he'd leave my husband alone. But we all self medicate from our own troubles and that's been a choice he has made, I also don't approve as I'd prefer him sober, but anxiety can be crippling for us all and we all cope in our own ways (I am online and on my phone too much for example).
As I've mentioned I am not good at keeping my feelings, I tend to prefer to discuss something which annoys me but as you know, that isn't exactly the most kind way to act in life. While also as it is my MIL, unlike my own mother, I can't make comments without it upsetting her or causing further issues.
As she is a kind person, I understand that she is trying to connect with me. I must also mention that my mother is asian (not indian asian), so she pretty much lets me be, leaves me alone and yes I'd love for her to care more, but that's not her love language, she tends to buy things and gift giving is how she shows love.
I understand that it is unfair to compare her to my own mother, but inevitably I am doing so.
I have blocked my MIL on my social media, because she would always just be looking to see what I'm up to, she isn't a customer, which is mainly what my instagram was originally for and I find it nosey. This may seem harsh, but I wasn't comfortable with her comments, or knowing things about me, to me this was setting a firm boundary.
I asked my husband's brother's wife, for advice, she has also mentioned that she finds our MIL frustrating and gives unwarranted advice, as she is a step mother of her granddaughters it is a different situation there. It has also made me realise it is not just me that finds her difficult. That also perhaps the long isolation during the pandemic made her behaviour a little worse? With more free time from being retired and so much time alone during this period, which I do feel simpathetic for.
Any advice apppreciated, I do think I'm being a little too hard on her, but I cannot help this feeling of frustration and annoyance. What is your advice, how can I get on with her and feel less annoyed?
submitted by Nanaco7 to motherinlawsfromhell [link] [comments]
I have a mother in law situation, I would love some advice if you have felt similar to me.
I have also made it all the worse by how I have acted, I'm not very good at hiding my feelings. She is actually a nice lady, although comments have been made by her own family members which I'll discuss below, I will discuss what frustrates me first and add context. It is a long read I am a little lost with this situation and it isn't going to be ongoing unfortunately.
My mother in law, is retired now, and comes from abroad, she tends to stay for a long time, last time was 1 month. Unfortunately she had to come alone, even though she had planned to come with my husband's aunt, which would have kept her company but she wasn't able to come. We were very busy with a renovation project and I felt bad that she wasn't being entertained. While also frustrated that she'd decide to come for a time we are both always busy during, albeit one of the most beautiful times of the year. She also refused to drive, (or travel by herself elsewhere) but then complained that the rural bus took such a long time, even though she was welcome to use our car while we we working.
This time she has come with her "friend" as she keeps telling our friends in this area, assuming he is a her partner, but that's also something which I don't have the capcity to pry about and can see from her previous relationships and being single as an older woman for a long timer, perhaps this is a confusing situation for her, I'm not sure. Her "friend" is very pleasant and nice, I'm glad she has a nice companion.
She has her own property nearby, so we can at least have our own privacy and hers too. While she is away we manage her house to be rented for the short term for tourists.
We live in a seasonal area, that is busy for short bursts and then quiet for months. So it's beautiful area to enjoy, so people always come and when they do they are on holiday but this is where we live.
I find everything MIL says annoying, frustrating and I don't know why but I just can't stand being around my MIL. She will just ask question after question, which my husband patiently answers. Meanwhile none of the replies seem to go in and aren't retained. I understand where we live is abroad for her, but she comes visit and doesn't seem to retain much of how things are here, I guess it's so foreign, its a big cultural difference to her and her home comforts. While she couldn't see us during the pandemic, she doesn't seem so old that she should have forgotten so many details.
The question asking I find infuriating which I just find really like prying, a friend told me it's a bid for connection, but it doesn't come that way to me. I did get frustrated last year and said I don't have the capacity for all her questions, and of course it offended her, yet has retained none of this visiting us again a few months later.
I just stay silent when we had to finally all hang out with my MIL, my husband and her "friend" companion man person. Because otherwise what I say comes out nasty and the annoyed-ness, contemptuousness isn't well hidden. Yes it is nasty of me I understand that, but I just don't know what to do about how I feel and I can't hide it.
She has finally realised this, I guess she was ignoring it, and she is a non confrontational person like my husband, which I am not, I don't want to make it worse by shouting at her. So has said she doesn't want me around. Which I'm glad, because the pretense of trying to seem like I like or enjoy her company was quite obvious that I didn't enjoy a minute of it. But I've felt I must hang out with my MIL for my husband's sake, which caused more arguments between my husband and I, in the end.
She also tends to act perhaps very soft, gentle, dithering by asking for advice, but Never taking it on, so it just feels like she's just wasting your time. In order to just then let you know what she has decided instead, then why ask for advice, make up your own mind instead, who cares if the decision is right or not, it seems like this "softness" is somewhat passive aggressive and manipulative.
My husband told me my sister in law has said that when she has visited her, she has been really fretting about making decisions, and asking for advice but not particularly interested of taking that on.
This is unfortunately this situation is putting my husband in the middle and it is causing him a lot of stress and grief.
I no longer go to his mother and he is responsible for his mother and the communication with her. Which has been a lot better on this visit, as she has misunderstood what I've messaged her on her last visit.
She's already discussing visiting us next year and we would like to make plans but it makes it feel like we can't because she has simply decided what she'll do and just come. He has told her that we may not be here and we are now realising that if she is just simply putting herself first, we must do so for ourselves as a couple too.
Another thing which I just find puzzling. Unless you're in our area to ski or hike, there isn't really much else to do where we live, she does neither activity. So why not spend that time visiting to see more of the country and travel? Yet she doesn't want to spend money. Which is a scarcity mindset of her own and probably due to saving pennies from her pension, but also you only live once and are only going to keep getting older and more tired. I might reiterate she is middle class but certainly not super poor, as she paid a lot of money for her flight to get here, it isn't cheap.
I am currently going through a bit of a lonely and hard season, my husband and I both feel a little trapped by our responsibilities. I won't go into more details but we are working through this, lots of arguments and it's been hard. While as my MIL hasn't had any long term relationships, I'm not super keen to have her involved or ask for advice in regards to our relationship, she won't even call this guy whose visiting with her right now, her boyfriend.
The interesting part about her long visits, which I know I should feel grateful for but I am not, as she came from very far away to be visiting my husband. Is that he left home at about 16 years old, she got him out of the rural area they are from as he had made some friends who were bad influences and he is glad that he moved away to study at such a young age and it made him who he is today.
So really since he has been a very young man, he hasn't spent much time for more than days with his mother.
He would tell me that she would grill him, as he used to smoke and very rightly didn't approve, so he'd avoid her and his dad (they were separated) lived nearby although he is a difficult narcissist, probably due to his narcissism he'd leave my husband alone. But we all self medicate from our own troubles and that's been a choice he has made, I also don't approve as I'd prefer him sober, but anxiety can be crippling for us all and we all cope in our own ways (I am online and on my phone too much for example).
As I've mentioned I am not good at keeping my feelings, I tend to prefer to discuss something which annoys me but as you know, that isn't exactly the most kind way to act in life. While also as it is my MIL, unlike my own mother, I can't make comments without it upsetting her or causing further issues.
As she is a kind person, I understand that she is trying to connect with me. I must also mention that my mother is asian (not indian asian), so she pretty much lets me be, leaves me alone and yes I'd love for her to care more, but that's not her love language, she tends to buy things and gift giving is how she shows love.
I understand that it is unfair to compare her to my own mother, but inevitably I am doing so.
I have blocked my MIL on my social media, because she would always just be looking to see what I'm up to, she isn't a customer, which is mainly what my instagram was originally for and I find it nosey. This may seem harsh, but I wasn't comfortable with her comments, or knowing things about me, to me this was setting a firm boundary.
I asked my husband's brother's wife, for advice, she has also mentioned that she finds our MIL frustrating and gives unwarranted advice, as she is a step mother of her granddaughters it is a different situation there. It has also made me realise it is not just me that finds her difficult. That also perhaps the long isolation during the pandemic made her behaviour a little worse? With more free time from being retired and so much time alone during this period, which I do feel simpathetic for.
Any advice apppreciated, I do think I'm being a little too hard on her, but I cannot help this feeling of frustration and annoyance. What is your advice, how can I get on with her and feel less annoyed?
2024.05.21 05:53 freemaxbwaves The Secret Subliminal War Between Kendrick Lamar and Drake
 | I don’t think people realize that Drake and Kendrick have been having a back and forth in their songs since before "First Person Shooter." Yes, we all know they’ve been sending subliminals to each other for over a decade and have been beefing for a while now, but since "DAMN.," no one has really paid attention to the subliminals in their music, and they’ve been directly responding to each other in songs for a while now. submitted by freemaxbwaves to KendrickLamar [link] [comments] Here’s some backstory on where I think this modern beef started. On March 5, 2021, Drake released the song "What’s Next." The song was originally supposed to have Baby Keem on it, but his verse was left off, and it was just Drake on the song. I’m just going to leave this information here because it might play into the later disses. Family Ties August 27, 2021 Where I think the disses really start is on "Family Ties" with Kendrick Lamar. This song is the first official collaboration between Keem and Kendrick. It comes five months after What’s Next. In Kendrick’s verse, he states that he’s: "Smokin' on your top five tonight, tonight Yeah, I'm smokin' on your, what's his name, tonight, tonight." This could be aimed at anybody in the game, but I think it’s directly targeted towards Drake based on the “what’s his name,” since Drake and Rihanna have a song called “What’s My Name.” Kendrick is saying he’s smoking on Drake. Throughout Kendrick’s verse, he starts calling himself the GOAT and explains why he’s been absent in the game before this. At the end of the track, Baby Keem says: "Number two DM'ing my bitch That's cool, I don't ask why." "Number two" here refers to Drake, as number one would be Kendrick Lamar. Drake is known for DMing people’s girls and stuff like that; Baby Keem says Drake is DMing his girl and is confused. Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers https://preview.redd.it/f8c3x1uhbp1d1.png?width=300&format=png&auto=webp&s=042914e480929880962297dff8e7f1c585752c02 It’s been about a year since "Family Ties," and Kendrick releases his next studio album in five years. The album is supposed to address his demons and is about his growth and maturity through therapy. I think there are some subliminal on here towards Drake. Father Time This entire track is Kendrick addressing the issue of parenthood, specifically fatherhood, and the toxic nature of present and absent fathers due to the toxic masculinity that is passed through generations. It’s interesting that this is the track where Kendrick directly mentions Drake's name since we know later on Kendrick would call Drake a bad/absent father and call his father absent as well. "When Kanye got back with Drake, I was slightly confused Guess I'm not mature as I think, got some healin' to do." Kanye and Drake got back together for the Larry Hoover concert, and here Kendrick is confused about why Kanye “made up” with Drake. He realized he’s not as mature as he thinks and has some healing to do because he wouldn’t get back with Drake like Kanye did. Rich Spirit I think "Rich Spirit" might be the real warning shot towards Drake. I also think this is a direct reply to "Toosie Slide." The entire "Rich Spirit" video is him alone in his house, away from fame and society. There are a lot of lines here that, in retrospect, seem to be Kendrick telling Drake what a real “Rich Spirit” is. For example: "Takin' my baby to school, then I pray for her." This is something Kendrick directly attacks Drake for in his diss tracks. "And celebrity do not mean integrity, you fool." Kendrick is saying that celebrity does not equal integrity. He also uses this same angle in his diss tracks later on. "Stop playin' with me 'fore I turn you to a song (Yeah) Stop playin' with me 'fore I turn you to a song (Ooh)." This is pretty obvious. Kendrick is telling Drake to stop playing with him before he turns him into a song (diss track) like he did with "Not Like Us." Here’s where I think it gets even more obvious: "Ayy, clout chasing hell of a disease, brother I'm fasting four days out the week, brother I pray to God that you realize the entourage is dead I pray to God that you not lackin' when you off the meds I pray to God she knows them Cabo trips don't last forever Bet she argues with her momma, go and get them kids." Everything Kendrick says here is exactly what he says to Drake in his diss tracks. He mentions meds, his entourage is against him, calls him out for his trips to islands, and calls him a clout chaser. This is clearly referencing Drake. These lines directly reference J Prince, like he does in "Euphoria": "I pray to God you actually pray when somebody dies Thoughts and prayers, way better off timelines False claimin' not cute, I'm mortified The new Earth in hot pursuit, two-hundred lives." He says the exact same thing to J Prince in "Euphoria." He also says: “I would never live my life on the computer IG'll get you life for a chikabooya More power to ya, love 'em from a distance Why you always in the mirror more than the bitches?” Drake is known for his antics online and Instagram captions/Internet culture. This one’s also pretty obvious. Honestly, Nevermind https://preview.redd.it/hhptm12nbp1d1.png?width=300&format=png&auto=webp&s=87ccec540b1538faa76f59c155994690808250cc Drake responds to Kendrick on his album "Honestly, Nevermind." What’s important to realize here is that this album dropped on Kendrick’s birthday. The entire album is club-inspired music and was something people did not expect, and he dropped it on Kendrick’s birthday on purpose. It was to showcase to Kendrick that he can make music that Kendrick couldn’t. The entire album is club-inspired music except for the last track “Sticky” with 21 Savage. On this track, Drake states: "Couple hits, now you brave, boy You n**** better behave (What) All that pumpin' up your chest (What) All that talk about the best (What) You know how sticky it gets." He’s telling Kendrick to behave and stop talking about how he’s the best like he did on "Family Ties." Now what’s very interesting is that Kendrick & Baby Keem directly respond to this track on "The Hillbillies." I don’t think people realize that "The Hillbillies" is a direct response to this. But before The Hillbillies was the "America Has a Problem" remix with Beyoncé. This entire verse is clearly a Drake diss. America Has a Problem Remix https://preview.redd.it/41ncfnysbp1d1.png?width=300&format=png&auto=webp&s=4f1ba1948e5a70de84ac6b88fea298655a8ab95f "Geeked up, choosy love, well, they chose violence Universal, please don't play possum I'm a businessman doin' as follows Truthfully, I be lyin' in my rap song 'Cause I always fail to mention I'd slap homie His career didn't come with no life insurance Hope his day-one fans got some facts on him." He calls out Universal (UMG), saying he’s just a businessman doing as he chooses. He states that he’s lying in songs because he fails to mention he’ll slap somebody. He states that this person's career didn’t come with life insurance and hopes his day-one fans have some facts on him. He’s clearly referring to Drake here. "Them diamonds don't be fly, they all CGI You better get it off your chest like breast reduction If she stressed over you, she stressed for nothin'." In these lines, he calls Drake's diamonds fake and states that Drake should get it off his chest like breast reduction. He’s mocking his surgery yet again. Then the “if she stressed over you, she stressed for nothing” is a subliminal towards Drake’s latest album before this track, "Her Loss," stating that it’s not her loss since if she’s stressed over Drake, she isn’t stressed for anything. Next, he says: "Even AI gotta practice clonin' Kendrick The double entendre, the encore remnants I bop like ten men, the opps need ten men." During the time when this track came out, there was AI Drake music blowing up. Kendrick is saying that even AI needs to practice to clone him, using a double entendre to imply he’s unmatched. He is saying the opps “need ten men” aka the ghostwriters, he is calling Drake easily replaceable. Now onto The Hillbillies. The Hillbillies https://preview.redd.it/5ugsqc2wbp1d1.png?width=300&format=png&auto=webp&s=fac50b242aec856fea19f304ff08264c94d460c9 "The Hillbillies" was released on May 30, 2023. The entire track is completely different from the music that Kendrick normally makes. It’s a track where he’s flexing, and it’s over a club-inspired beat and flow. Baby Keem even called it a “Sticky” remix. So this track is basically Kendrick saying that he can do what Drake did on "Honestly, Nevermind," but better. First, let’s look at the title of the track. It is called “The Hillbillies.” On "Sticky," Drake says that he’s: "King of the hill, you know it's a steep one." Drake calls himself the king of the hill, Kendrick & Keem call themselves the Hillbillies, you get it. Now let’s look at some lines in the track: "Messi, get them girls off the stage, 'cause somebody's gonna get taken Somebody's gonna invade on a one-on-one conversation I'm ducked off from the world, I'm immersed in the PlayStation." This is a direct response to "Sticky" when Drake says: "Ayo Eric, bring them girls to the stage 'Cause somebody's getting paid." Throughout this entire track, Kendrick and Keem are mocking Drake and his flow on "Sticky," showcasing they can do anything he can do and better. They’re rapping about the things he’ll rap about. Also what I find interesting about the music video is that they have Tyler in it and announce that they will be headlining Camp Flog Gnaw in the video, where Drake famously got booed off stage. Could be a reach but still. In July a month after this track, Drake on stage during his tour said “he is not like those rappers who disappear for 4 or 5 years”. So another subliminal towards Kendrick. Meltdown https://preview.redd.it/spcuz8zybp1d1.png?width=300&format=png&auto=webp&s=8d636950b1706368297a514c110e1a4351f06ded Drake responds to the disses on "Meltdown," which was released two months later on Travis Scott’s album. While this verse is mainly about Kanye/Pusha, I also think it can relate to Kendrick as well. "I love to fuck on a regular bitch Famous hoes lame, but they stay on my dick Heard your new joint, it's embarrassing, shit." On "Hillbillies," Kendrick/Keem rap about wanting a regular girl instead of a famous girl, and on "Meltdown," Drake says the same thing, also calling their new stuff embarrassing. "Your bodyguard put in some work on a fluke Now you wanna go and inherit that shit Don't talk to the boy 'bout comparisons, shit Or come to the boy on some arrogant shit." More bodyguards talk, and he’s telling people not to compare him to anybody. We all know who he really means. “I melt down the chains that I bought from yo' boss Give a fuck about all of that heritage shit.” Kendrick directly responds to this, saying he inherited the beef from Pharrell since Drake was disrespecting him. Now here’s where I think it gets obvious. On the second verse, Travis says: "The boy going Lionel Messi, I go Tom Brady (Woo)." In the track "The Hillbillies," Keem is calling Kendrick Messi and himself Neymar. Now in this track, which comes out two months later, Drake is comparing himself to Messi. Also he says in this song "You act like you love this American shit, but really the truth is you scared of the 6" which could be a response to the title "America Has a Problem", this might be a reach though. First Person Shooter https://preview.redd.it/emn9lgd2cp1d1.png?width=300&format=png&auto=webp&s=fc52eeee5b1834f392c657c306dff32dab17746a After "Meltdown," we get "First Person Shooter," which we all know ignited this beef even further. I have a theory about this track, though. I believe that Drake originally sent Kendrick the track to hop on, but Kendrick denied the feature request. I think the original "First Person Shooter" was going to feature Drake, Cole, and Kendrick rapping over the first beat of the song. I believe the beat switch was made after Kendrick denied the feature request, and Drake added it later. This is why Kendrick says on his diss tracks: "Surprised you sent that feature request, you know we got some shit to address" and "Did Cole foul, I don’t know why you still pretending." Drake wanted to squash the subliminal beef he had with Kendrick with the feature request, and when Kendrick denied it, he thought it was real beef. Look at the second half of "FPS": "My youngins richer than you rappers and they all stream I really hate that you been sellin' them some false dreams Man, if your pub was up for sale, I buy the whole thing Will they ever give me flowers? Well, of course not They don't wanna have that talk, 'cause it's a sore spot They know The Boy, the one they gotta boycott I told Jimmy Jam I use a GRAMMY as a door stop." Drake gets way more aggressive in the second half of the track and states that Kendrick is selling people false dreams, he is broke, they won't give him his flowers, he is at the top, and that he doesn't care about GRAMMYs (which is what Drake mocks Kendrick for in "Family Matters"). Then he says: "What the fuck, bro? I'm one away from Michael N***, beat it, n****, beat it, what?" He compares himself to Michael Jackson and even says he will beat his record, which Kendrick directly responds to in "Like That." At the end of the track, Drake says: "Don't even pay me back on none of them favors, I don't need it." We know that Drake feels like he put on Kendrick and that Kendrick would be nowhere without him, so he rubs that in his face. This verse is where I think Kendrick really took it as a threat rather than just the big three line. That was a part of it, but I think this is what really set Kendrick off. Also interestingly in this video Drake recreates the Messi/Ronaldo picture with J. Cole and compares himself to Messi AGAIN. Another thing, in the second verse Drake says: “I click the trigger on the stick like a high beam” So in Like That when Kendrick says “if he walk around with that stick, it ain’t Andre 3k” it could be reffering to this line as well since that track is a direct response to this song. At first most people thought the stick line was about Cole but we know Kendrick calls out Drake for acting tough later on, so it could be a response to this line as well. Red Button https://preview.redd.it/y8zhrmr5cp1d1.png?width=300&format=png&auto=webp&s=6d40f3c901c2afecd20743066c736c3f29e2a6ba A month after this track, Drake releases “Red Button” on "Scary Hours 3," and I also think this is about Kendrick Lamar (and Kanye, but we are focusing on Dot here). This entire track, Drake is warning people that if he presses his red button, it will be over for certain people. This red button thing obviously refers to Kendrick since during their diss tracks, Drake was constantly talking about pushing the red button and posting images of red buttons. “N**** think it's sweet, but I am not a diabetic patient No, I will start blackin' over here like it's segregation I will fuckin' double-cross you n**** like it's meditation I'll give you a hard pill to swallow, this your medication I will fuckin' pop up on your ass like a revelation I could tell you better than I show you, this a demonstration I will fuckin' leave you in the dirt like some vegetation Chemicals is mixin' in my brain and killin' hesitation I will fuckin' force a few shots like a vaccination I'll get to you ten years from now like procrastination I'll fuckin' find out wherever y'all are celebratin' Pull up, park my Phantom on the curb like I'm Larry David And then we'll see who's really crazy” I have a feeling this is about Kendrick specifically based on the words he’s choosing to talk about, like segregation and procrastination. Things that he makes fun of Kendrick for in his latest disses. After this we know what happens, Kendrick responds on Like That and the beef really ignites with the diss tracks coming out. |
2024.05.21 05:22 incrediblydeadinside Yellowface by R.F. Kuang Discussion (spoilers of course)
I just finished this book, and I found it very entertaining! I've seen a lot of discourse on this book already, so I wanted to get my more random thoughts out there:
-Was it just me, or did anyone else think the story was going to involve COVID? I think the only date mentioned throughout the entire story is March 2020, when Adele publishes her takedown of June's Mother Witch with evidence. I thought this was foreshadowing that news of the pandemic was going to take over the media, and June's scandal would be quickly forgotten because of it, ironically being saved by this disease that originated in China and that resulted in a spike in Asian hate crimes. I really don't understand why the author included the date March 2020 otherwise....
-I guess I have to chalk this up to June's unreliable narration, but I got confused about how Athena said her WWI project was "finally finished," and it's emphasized how she doesn't let anyone see her work until she's completely done with it (she asks June to read it, meaning she's done with it for sure), but then June goes on to say it was not done at all and had a bunch of empty spots that Athena was gonna fill in later etc, etc.
-June also starts by saying how amazing the manuscript is and better than she could ever write in her lifetime, but this then becomes "it needed a ton of work" to "it was utterly unpublishable" lmao
-As insufferable and terrible as June is, I found myself rooting for her to get away with it... that is, until Mother Witch. At first, I thought it was completely fine that she was taking inspiration from that one paragraph Athena wrote. I didn't even think that paragraph was good (maybe I'm just not a literary scholar but it felt too vague and random to be interesting to me). But then it turns out June put that paragraph word for word into her opening????? JUNE WHY
-I'm not sure if this was intentional (to maybe show that June's not actually that good of a writer) or publisher error or stylistic choice by the author, but were there like... a ton of grammatical errors with the semicolons? Or do I just not know my punctuations lol?
Examples:
Geoff seems inordinately angry; far angrier than this response justifies.
^ should be a comma?
Sometimes her face is contorted in grotesque expressions; eyes wide, tongue wagging.
^ shouldn't this be a colon instead of semicolon?
-All of June's publishing team and friends advise her to keep her head down and not respond to any of the allegations, and I know this is good advice for the most part, but I think not addressing allegations AT ALL makes you look suuuuuper guilty. I think June's best bet would've been to issue one professionally written statement denying any of the allegations and then not speaking on it again, which is exactly what she ends up doing (later on) that initially turns the public back in her favor! (before the new Mother Witch scandal) Yes I know June had to make sure her "detractors" had no solid proof against her before putting out any statements, but her team who thought she was fully innocent didn't know that and still was advising her to say absolutely nothing. Idk, in my eyes, people who get accused of something terrible and don't address it at all are basically admitting their guilt with their silence.
-Speaking of, why do the characters keep insisting that June shouldn't be bothered by all these accusations as long as she's innocent? IF June were innocent, then she should be REALLY bothered that her name and career are getting dragged through the mud over something she didn't do. Who would possibly not be bothered by that?? She was literally losing connections and deals over it and people were treating her meanly.
-June literally says she wouldn't know how to explain to Eden why Athena's new Instagram post bothers her without having to admit that she's struggling with guilt from stealing. GIRL WHAT DO YOU MEAN. Someone hacked your dead friend's account, posted creepy photos of her being alive, targeted you directly--THAT'S NOT ENOUGH REASON TO BE BOTHERED?? GUILTY OR NOT?
-I'm confused about the timeline after Mother Witch's release. It says Adele's blog was posted 2 weeks after its release, and by the end of the month, Brett's saying it's "been awhile" since June worked on a new book. It's been.... a month....? That feels really short idk
-Was Patricia Liu's comment about "Athena would never write something like that" supposed to lead to something? I felt like that hinted heavily at an upcoming reveal into Athena's family dynamics but just got dropped
-Look, I get why Candice wanted revenge for getting fired, but seriously? She really thought leaving a one star review under her own full name and profile, for an author whose project she directly worked on, wouldn't hurt her professionally? Come on.
-How the hell did Candice convincingly photoshop multiple pictures of Athena where she was literally choking herself and lunging at the camera lmao?? And I'm assuming she got some recordings of Athena's voice to play at the Exorcist steps and spoke herself whenever her recordings didn't fit.
-June isn't driven by her passion for writing. She's driven by the idea of being famous and successful. She says herself that writing was only fun before she got to know how the publishing industry eats you alive, so if that's how she feels, she SHOULD be happy to pursue a regular stable income job and write in her free time instead, away from the publishing industry. But of course, that wouldn't yield her fame and fortune and envious glares from her colleagues, so she'd rather continue to dig her grave even deeper with the Athena scandal.
-I saw a lot of people were disappointed by the ending because we don't get to see June get punished but idk, I think we did? We spend the entirety of the novel in June's head so we know firsthand that she's... a mess. She is so deeply insecure and perpetually miserable, and she doesn't have enough self awareness to ever change that (though I do find it interesting how she will call out her own insecurities and projections and how things are her fault... But then always jump back into victimhood). On top of that, she DOES get dragged online and takes hits to her career like crazy for half the book, and she's gonna continue to get dragged once Candice releases her book. She's definitely faced her punishment; she just has the audacity to keep going lmao.
submitted by incrediblydeadinside to books [link] [comments]
-Was it just me, or did anyone else think the story was going to involve COVID? I think the only date mentioned throughout the entire story is March 2020, when Adele publishes her takedown of June's Mother Witch with evidence. I thought this was foreshadowing that news of the pandemic was going to take over the media, and June's scandal would be quickly forgotten because of it, ironically being saved by this disease that originated in China and that resulted in a spike in Asian hate crimes. I really don't understand why the author included the date March 2020 otherwise....
-I guess I have to chalk this up to June's unreliable narration, but I got confused about how Athena said her WWI project was "finally finished," and it's emphasized how she doesn't let anyone see her work until she's completely done with it (she asks June to read it, meaning she's done with it for sure), but then June goes on to say it was not done at all and had a bunch of empty spots that Athena was gonna fill in later etc, etc.
-June also starts by saying how amazing the manuscript is and better than she could ever write in her lifetime, but this then becomes "it needed a ton of work" to "it was utterly unpublishable" lmao
-As insufferable and terrible as June is, I found myself rooting for her to get away with it... that is, until Mother Witch. At first, I thought it was completely fine that she was taking inspiration from that one paragraph Athena wrote. I didn't even think that paragraph was good (maybe I'm just not a literary scholar but it felt too vague and random to be interesting to me). But then it turns out June put that paragraph word for word into her opening????? JUNE WHY
-I'm not sure if this was intentional (to maybe show that June's not actually that good of a writer) or publisher error or stylistic choice by the author, but were there like... a ton of grammatical errors with the semicolons? Or do I just not know my punctuations lol?
Examples:
Geoff seems inordinately angry; far angrier than this response justifies.
^ should be a comma?
Sometimes her face is contorted in grotesque expressions; eyes wide, tongue wagging.
^ shouldn't this be a colon instead of semicolon?
-All of June's publishing team and friends advise her to keep her head down and not respond to any of the allegations, and I know this is good advice for the most part, but I think not addressing allegations AT ALL makes you look suuuuuper guilty. I think June's best bet would've been to issue one professionally written statement denying any of the allegations and then not speaking on it again, which is exactly what she ends up doing (later on) that initially turns the public back in her favor! (before the new Mother Witch scandal) Yes I know June had to make sure her "detractors" had no solid proof against her before putting out any statements, but her team who thought she was fully innocent didn't know that and still was advising her to say absolutely nothing. Idk, in my eyes, people who get accused of something terrible and don't address it at all are basically admitting their guilt with their silence.
-Speaking of, why do the characters keep insisting that June shouldn't be bothered by all these accusations as long as she's innocent? IF June were innocent, then she should be REALLY bothered that her name and career are getting dragged through the mud over something she didn't do. Who would possibly not be bothered by that?? She was literally losing connections and deals over it and people were treating her meanly.
-June literally says she wouldn't know how to explain to Eden why Athena's new Instagram post bothers her without having to admit that she's struggling with guilt from stealing. GIRL WHAT DO YOU MEAN. Someone hacked your dead friend's account, posted creepy photos of her being alive, targeted you directly--THAT'S NOT ENOUGH REASON TO BE BOTHERED?? GUILTY OR NOT?
-I'm confused about the timeline after Mother Witch's release. It says Adele's blog was posted 2 weeks after its release, and by the end of the month, Brett's saying it's "been awhile" since June worked on a new book. It's been.... a month....? That feels really short idk
-Was Patricia Liu's comment about "Athena would never write something like that" supposed to lead to something? I felt like that hinted heavily at an upcoming reveal into Athena's family dynamics but just got dropped
-Look, I get why Candice wanted revenge for getting fired, but seriously? She really thought leaving a one star review under her own full name and profile, for an author whose project she directly worked on, wouldn't hurt her professionally? Come on.
-How the hell did Candice convincingly photoshop multiple pictures of Athena where she was literally choking herself and lunging at the camera lmao?? And I'm assuming she got some recordings of Athena's voice to play at the Exorcist steps and spoke herself whenever her recordings didn't fit.
-June isn't driven by her passion for writing. She's driven by the idea of being famous and successful. She says herself that writing was only fun before she got to know how the publishing industry eats you alive, so if that's how she feels, she SHOULD be happy to pursue a regular stable income job and write in her free time instead, away from the publishing industry. But of course, that wouldn't yield her fame and fortune and envious glares from her colleagues, so she'd rather continue to dig her grave even deeper with the Athena scandal.
-I saw a lot of people were disappointed by the ending because we don't get to see June get punished but idk, I think we did? We spend the entirety of the novel in June's head so we know firsthand that she's... a mess. She is so deeply insecure and perpetually miserable, and she doesn't have enough self awareness to ever change that (though I do find it interesting how she will call out her own insecurities and projections and how things are her fault... But then always jump back into victimhood). On top of that, she DOES get dragged online and takes hits to her career like crazy for half the book, and she's gonna continue to get dragged once Candice releases her book. She's definitely faced her punishment; she just has the audacity to keep going lmao.
2024.05.21 04:41 lost_library_book [Not the "best" of anything, take caution, consult content warning] (Update) AITA for kicking out a female house guest for touching me repeatedly in a non-sexual manner while I repeatedly told her no.
I AM NOT OOP. OOP deleted their account before could capture the post.
OOP claims to be a husband and wife couple, and responds as such in the post.
Originally posted on amiwrong and updated in the same post.
Content warning: Mention of assault, sexual assault, potential child sexual abuse, PTSD (a lot), potential domestic violence, hands-on violence including choking
Original post with update - May 19th, 2024
AITA for kicking out a female house guest for touching me repeatedly in a non-sexual manner while I repeatedly told her no.
(See update at the end) Some context before I (32m) get into the situation as I feel it's important to how I reacted. I have been in two situations, one as a 6-year-old and at 28, that involved women and unwanted touching and beyond in both occasions I have been powerless as a child or incapacitated as an adult like unable to control my bowels or bladder kind of incapacitated. Both my wife and my guest are aware of my past. I'm trying to keep this broad stroke so as not to violate any rules, but again I think this context is important.
So on to the current situation. We currently have a (26f) friend who is living out of a tent, and we often invite her over so she can do laundry, shower, and other hygiene tasks. In this instance, I decided to hop onto my computer and play some games while she did her stuff and hung out with the wife while I chatted back and forth with them a bit. As she wrapped up her visit, she approached me from behind and hit me with a hairbrush not hard just to get my attention. It for sure startled me, and I did snap at her telling her to stop. I looked up at her from my chair, and she does it again, and I tell her to stop again while making direct eye contact with her, which she doesn't doing it once more and then demanding I hug her, which I refuse to do, telling her very clearly "fuck no, I don't want to touch you," and I follow that up with if you keep going like this I'm going to kick you out. She gives me a kinda laugh and says whatever, I'm leaving anyway and then touches me again.
I get to my feet now both extremely panicky feeling and angry we have a bit of a scuffle not a fight, and I end up shouting at her to leave and not come back. I felt entirely violated in my own home during all this, but both her and my wife insist it was just a game and she did not mean it despite me telling her no repeatedly and both my wife and the guest hearing it. I'm for sure not saying my behavior was great, and I've been seeking long-term treatment to help with my issues both mainly being PTSD related to my time as an Army MP and the events mentioned in my personal life. Despite that, I 100% should not have acted in anger like I did.
So am I wrong for feeling the way I do? Or is the wife and the guest right and it was just a game and she didn't mean it.
EDIT: to be 100% upfront it escalated and I reacted (badly) physicality was involved but as also pointed out I was near panicked and overwhelmed due to my past.
EDIT 2: EDIT: Gonna try and respond to a few more posts then I've gotta have a break. I do thank everyone that took the time to write out comments or interact with me.
Edit 3?: My husband gave me access to this account, and I told him I wrote down my perspective. When I asked if I should add it, he said "it's up to you." So here it is.
Our friend approached my husband, who was playing an online cooperative action game on his computer, at his desk. I was sitting on the couch about 8 feet behind them, waiting for my friend to be ready for me to drive her home. She was wearing a long night shirt with a loose v-neck. She stood at his left side peripheral for about 2 seconds before she tapped the back of her hairbrush firmly against the side of his left shoulder. I immediately was not comfortable with this, as I don't tend to engage in horseplay unless someone else has repeatedly demonstrated to me that it's a method of expression that they like and want. I do enjoy my husband's frequent physicality with me, including picking me up or tickling me. My friend and husband have engaged in horseplay on many occasions before, tickling, poking at one another's stomach, and playfully throwing soft objects. This often included my friend's fiance, who usually only reciprocated with my friend. I will frequently smack my husband on the butt, but only when I am sure he is in a mood to be okay with it.
My husband said, "Hey, I'm busy," and didn't turn to her at first. She hit him again with the brush in the same spot, and my husband said "stop" in a normal voice, and my friend responded, saying "give me a hug (which we almost always all do at the end of visits). I don't remember if she hit him again, because he said (and I'm going to paraphrase, because at this point I began to get alarmed, and was only listening to the tone of his voice, and less to his words, unfortunately) that if she didn't stop, he'd make her leave. She said lightly that it didn't matter anyway; she was leaving. At this point, I realized by her teasing tone that she didn't understand how upset he was getting, which I did understand, through years of experience with his tone of voice and what it means. He didn't raise his voice, and I could hear that he was attempting to remain casual as he said something else, ending with "my dude" but that she had really pushed him past the point of anger and I didn't think she realized it. She put her hand on his shoulder, and he said "I don't want to fucking touch you now" and he stood up, and grabbed her by the neck of her shirt, pulling her foreward, and then put both hands around her throat, and I saw his hands tense, as he leaned down into her face and told her to leave the house and never come back. He pushed her backwards and she started to cry, and put her head down, hurrying to get pick up her things. My husband sat back down at his desk and didn't say anything else until I told him I was going to take the friend home and I'd be back, and he said "sure." The friend cried during the ride home, and her voice was harsh, but I wasn't sure if it was stress or physical. She did have marks on her throat, but those faded over the next few hours. She asked me repeatedly why he got so upset, and if anything was different, and I did point out to her that he said "stop," and she said that she thought it was part of the play. When I returned home, my husband did not seem upset, and seemed more relaxed than before, although he seemed nervous about my response to the situation. He said that he didn't remember putting his hands around her throat when I told him that he did.
My thoughts about this are that:
horseplaying with people with trauma, which all three of us have, to various degrees and in various forms, is potentially dangerous, and I'm frequently uncomfortable when it happens, although I often don't say anything, as I'm usually the odd one out when it comes to initiating social teasing, although I often enjoy receiving it.
2.) Our friend should have stopped at the word stop. I don't know why she didn't, but I don't think it was out of malice, because she genuinely did not seem to see how she was provoking him.
3.) Her actions were inappropriate, in my opinion, but his were potentially life-threatening and the fact that he didn't remember what he did was alarming. I am concerned that this will happen again, and he will have charges pressed in a situation where he is the first physical aggressor. This would be even worse if he inadvertently harms someone, and the escalation of force combined with memory issues in this latest case makes me worry that it might happen.
4.) I possibly could have prevented this from happening by being quicker stopping her or by getting between them, but I know from experience that once he has a grip on someone, I'm not strong enough to break it, and he ignores my presence or physically shakes me off if I try. He ignores my words entirely at these times. I expected her to see that he was upset before he snapped, because it seemed obvious to me, but she didn't, and I have no idea why. She's had lots of trauma of her own (as have I, including SA) in the past (and, like me, has worked in jobs that revolve around dealing with people dealing with trauma).
Relevant Comments
Husband clarifies (many times) that he "wasn't trying to choke" friend:
Husband here. I actually went for her jaw or mandible for a hold a extremely common restraint grab used by MPs and some of my other work I faltered and grabbed her neck and shoved. Some confusion between my spouse as she only saw the me grab the neck as I did not remember it as she did, but I think it’s important her post stays as is since it’s her view. This person has been made aware of and in fine detail my reactive nature and my past and was a trusted person thus allowed into our home as she should’ve been well aware of everything. EDIT: Also thank you for taking the time to share about your experience and respond.
Magerimoje
To the husband ---
You need more help for your PTSD. More therapy to give you the tools you need to be able to tell when you are about to be triggered, and how to de-escalate yourself before you get to that point of reacting. Possibly meds too until you learn those skills and have those tools.
To the wife ---
You are likely a safe person for your husband, which means he's likely to be more relaxed in your presence, which means when he is pre-triggered he likely expects your help in de-escalating (not because it's your responsibility, but because that's been your pattern together so far - he has learned that you're safe and he has learned that you can reduce the things that trigger him)
Because you are the safe person, and because you have learned how to hear that pre-triggered state just by tone of voice, and because you've already established a pattern together that you're able to de-escalate, you need to step up when you hear that change of tone in his voice.
Whether that means you say to your friend "stop, he's not in a playful mood" or you say to your husband "hun, take a few deep breaths, you're safe" (or say both) but you have to do something [or you have to work together to stop the established pattern so his brain realizes you can't/won't be able to help]
Either option (helping him, or breaking the pattern) is acceptable, but together you two need to make that choice and then you need to stick with it.
If you're going to stay the safe person who helps, you have to help every time. His brain relies on it. It's an unconscious thought, but it's there.
My husband has PTSD too, and I'm his safe person, so I totally understand what it's like I have PTSD and my husband is my safe person,so I understand what that's like too. It's hard work, but you can't skip that hard work if you want to stay together. I think the work is worth it, but I can only choose for myself, you have to choose for yourself.
To both of you ---
Horseplay is one of the worst things for PTSD. Stop that immediately. No pranks. No unexpected jokes. No horseplay.
If you want to make each other laugh or laugh with friends, tell dad jokes or knock knock jokes or Cards Against Humanity. No physical comedy. No unexpected touches. No touching that's surprising or even "playfully" hurtful. No intentional startling. STOP THE TRIGGERS
My verdict ---
ESH everyone needs more therapy, and everyone needs to change behavior patterns.
Husband here. Firstly thank you for taking the time to write out such a detailed and thoughtful response it really is appreciated. Also basically agree with what you’ve laid out for me I need more tools and yeah meds is definitely one of those. I’m very hopeful that due to a recent VA rating bump I’ll have more options that work towards my own specific needs.
Nuhhuh
You both need to focus on controlling your own feelings and actions instead of expecting everyone around you to be able to read your subtle signs and magically adjust their behaviour. You are both intellectualising the issue to avoid how unhealthy all reactions are involved. You both should do some work on finding yourselves outside of each other. This is a very unhealthy codependant relationship. No one should be this non-chalant about poorly executed physical force. To believe that is some kind of excuse shows how deep in denial you are. You, dear husband, are dangerous to those around you and should be deeply upset with yourself.
Husband here. No one is happy this is basically the worst possible outcome. As in the post but I’ll go over it again here it was the worst possible way to react, and with that being said I’m not looking for justification. She’s been a friend for years and has been made aware of all my issues in detail and what lines I draw with them until recently she is been fine stopping. Hopefully that clears things up more I can definitely answer more if you want.
Nuhhuh
I don't think you understand what I said. You are further intellectualising here to make excuses for your behaviour. I don't think you are a bad person, but you are not taking responsibility for how your lack of dealing with your PTSD and your emotional regulation is harming the people around you. Your wife is making excuses and monitoring your behaviour like an abused woman because you aren't handling your emotions. Your friend 'being aware of your issues in detail' isn't an action plan.
You need to go into some deep therapy. You are currently a ticking time bomb for the people around you and you need to look inward to address those issues. You are the problem and you are not showing any signs of working on the root of the issue, instead you focus on reason and explanations to make others do the work for you. Sadly, that never ends well. Look into DBT, EMDR, and access the VA for better psychological support. I am a veteran, I am not just talking out of my ass. You need help.
RelatableMolaMola
Wife: You saw that he was getting upset and you saw that she didn't realize he was getting upset. You also know his history. Yeah, you can't break his grip once he gets to the point of putting his hands on someone but you could have stopped her from teasing him when it became obvious he wasn't taking it the way she thought. Why did you not get up and stop her instead of watching her push him past the point of no return?
I am absolutely not defending his actions and I find it frightening that he seems to not remember putting his hands on her throat, unless he does and that's what he's glossing over in the OP. Frankly I would not be able to stay with someone with that kind of response, no matter how great they are when they're not triggered to that point. I have been choked in an abusive context before. Do not recommend. BUT you seem to be aware that he is capable of this and you stayed. So at that point I think you have some responsibility to other people who you see provoking him in a manner that could elicit that response.
(The wife) I do. You're right. I am beyond sad that I didn't do it, and yes, I really should have acted faster. My parents used to fight, sometimes violently (usually just breaking stuff and yelling) and when it comes to people I care about, I don't handle their out-of-control anger well. After this incident happened, I sort of lost all my emotions for several hours, which I guess isn't unusual for me in a situation like this. Professionally it's very different, and I don't react like this at all. I feel like it would be good for us to discuss some sort of protocol for times like these so that the both of us can be more prepared. I would suggest exposure therapy or something to keep me from dissociation or whatever it is, but how would one even do that? I'd like to be able to do or say something in the moment that would help, but idk. I love him and he's awesome (and ordinarily one of the most chill, easygoing fun people and i love that about him), and this stuff isn't his fault, but I'm afraid of future legal and personal issues it might bring down on him.
Marked as disturbing if real, sad in general.
No brigading, no harassment, on the chance the OOP pops up again with a different account.
submitted by lost_library_book to BORUpdates [link] [comments]
OOP claims to be a husband and wife couple, and responds as such in the post.
Originally posted on amiwrong and updated in the same post.
Content warning: Mention of assault, sexual assault, potential child sexual abuse, PTSD (a lot), potential domestic violence, hands-on violence including choking
Original post with update - May 19th, 2024
AITA for kicking out a female house guest for touching me repeatedly in a non-sexual manner while I repeatedly told her no.
(See update at the end) Some context before I (32m) get into the situation as I feel it's important to how I reacted. I have been in two situations, one as a 6-year-old and at 28, that involved women and unwanted touching and beyond in both occasions I have been powerless as a child or incapacitated as an adult like unable to control my bowels or bladder kind of incapacitated. Both my wife and my guest are aware of my past. I'm trying to keep this broad stroke so as not to violate any rules, but again I think this context is important.
So on to the current situation. We currently have a (26f) friend who is living out of a tent, and we often invite her over so she can do laundry, shower, and other hygiene tasks. In this instance, I decided to hop onto my computer and play some games while she did her stuff and hung out with the wife while I chatted back and forth with them a bit. As she wrapped up her visit, she approached me from behind and hit me with a hairbrush not hard just to get my attention. It for sure startled me, and I did snap at her telling her to stop. I looked up at her from my chair, and she does it again, and I tell her to stop again while making direct eye contact with her, which she doesn't doing it once more and then demanding I hug her, which I refuse to do, telling her very clearly "fuck no, I don't want to touch you," and I follow that up with if you keep going like this I'm going to kick you out. She gives me a kinda laugh and says whatever, I'm leaving anyway and then touches me again.
I get to my feet now both extremely panicky feeling and angry we have a bit of a scuffle not a fight, and I end up shouting at her to leave and not come back. I felt entirely violated in my own home during all this, but both her and my wife insist it was just a game and she did not mean it despite me telling her no repeatedly and both my wife and the guest hearing it. I'm for sure not saying my behavior was great, and I've been seeking long-term treatment to help with my issues both mainly being PTSD related to my time as an Army MP and the events mentioned in my personal life. Despite that, I 100% should not have acted in anger like I did.
So am I wrong for feeling the way I do? Or is the wife and the guest right and it was just a game and she didn't mean it.
EDIT: to be 100% upfront it escalated and I reacted (badly) physicality was involved but as also pointed out I was near panicked and overwhelmed due to my past.
EDIT 2: EDIT: Gonna try and respond to a few more posts then I've gotta have a break. I do thank everyone that took the time to write out comments or interact with me.
Edit 3?: My husband gave me access to this account, and I told him I wrote down my perspective. When I asked if I should add it, he said "it's up to you." So here it is.
Our friend approached my husband, who was playing an online cooperative action game on his computer, at his desk. I was sitting on the couch about 8 feet behind them, waiting for my friend to be ready for me to drive her home. She was wearing a long night shirt with a loose v-neck. She stood at his left side peripheral for about 2 seconds before she tapped the back of her hairbrush firmly against the side of his left shoulder. I immediately was not comfortable with this, as I don't tend to engage in horseplay unless someone else has repeatedly demonstrated to me that it's a method of expression that they like and want. I do enjoy my husband's frequent physicality with me, including picking me up or tickling me. My friend and husband have engaged in horseplay on many occasions before, tickling, poking at one another's stomach, and playfully throwing soft objects. This often included my friend's fiance, who usually only reciprocated with my friend. I will frequently smack my husband on the butt, but only when I am sure he is in a mood to be okay with it.
My husband said, "Hey, I'm busy," and didn't turn to her at first. She hit him again with the brush in the same spot, and my husband said "stop" in a normal voice, and my friend responded, saying "give me a hug (which we almost always all do at the end of visits). I don't remember if she hit him again, because he said (and I'm going to paraphrase, because at this point I began to get alarmed, and was only listening to the tone of his voice, and less to his words, unfortunately) that if she didn't stop, he'd make her leave. She said lightly that it didn't matter anyway; she was leaving. At this point, I realized by her teasing tone that she didn't understand how upset he was getting, which I did understand, through years of experience with his tone of voice and what it means. He didn't raise his voice, and I could hear that he was attempting to remain casual as he said something else, ending with "my dude" but that she had really pushed him past the point of anger and I didn't think she realized it. She put her hand on his shoulder, and he said "I don't want to fucking touch you now" and he stood up, and grabbed her by the neck of her shirt, pulling her foreward, and then put both hands around her throat, and I saw his hands tense, as he leaned down into her face and told her to leave the house and never come back. He pushed her backwards and she started to cry, and put her head down, hurrying to get pick up her things. My husband sat back down at his desk and didn't say anything else until I told him I was going to take the friend home and I'd be back, and he said "sure." The friend cried during the ride home, and her voice was harsh, but I wasn't sure if it was stress or physical. She did have marks on her throat, but those faded over the next few hours. She asked me repeatedly why he got so upset, and if anything was different, and I did point out to her that he said "stop," and she said that she thought it was part of the play. When I returned home, my husband did not seem upset, and seemed more relaxed than before, although he seemed nervous about my response to the situation. He said that he didn't remember putting his hands around her throat when I told him that he did.
My thoughts about this are that:
horseplaying with people with trauma, which all three of us have, to various degrees and in various forms, is potentially dangerous, and I'm frequently uncomfortable when it happens, although I often don't say anything, as I'm usually the odd one out when it comes to initiating social teasing, although I often enjoy receiving it.
2.) Our friend should have stopped at the word stop. I don't know why she didn't, but I don't think it was out of malice, because she genuinely did not seem to see how she was provoking him.
3.) Her actions were inappropriate, in my opinion, but his were potentially life-threatening and the fact that he didn't remember what he did was alarming. I am concerned that this will happen again, and he will have charges pressed in a situation where he is the first physical aggressor. This would be even worse if he inadvertently harms someone, and the escalation of force combined with memory issues in this latest case makes me worry that it might happen.
4.) I possibly could have prevented this from happening by being quicker stopping her or by getting between them, but I know from experience that once he has a grip on someone, I'm not strong enough to break it, and he ignores my presence or physically shakes me off if I try. He ignores my words entirely at these times. I expected her to see that he was upset before he snapped, because it seemed obvious to me, but she didn't, and I have no idea why. She's had lots of trauma of her own (as have I, including SA) in the past (and, like me, has worked in jobs that revolve around dealing with people dealing with trauma).
Relevant Comments
Husband clarifies (many times) that he "wasn't trying to choke" friend:
Husband here. I actually went for her jaw or mandible for a hold a extremely common restraint grab used by MPs and some of my other work I faltered and grabbed her neck and shoved. Some confusion between my spouse as she only saw the me grab the neck as I did not remember it as she did, but I think it’s important her post stays as is since it’s her view. This person has been made aware of and in fine detail my reactive nature and my past and was a trusted person thus allowed into our home as she should’ve been well aware of everything. EDIT: Also thank you for taking the time to share about your experience and respond.
Magerimoje
To the husband ---
You need more help for your PTSD. More therapy to give you the tools you need to be able to tell when you are about to be triggered, and how to de-escalate yourself before you get to that point of reacting. Possibly meds too until you learn those skills and have those tools.
To the wife ---
You are likely a safe person for your husband, which means he's likely to be more relaxed in your presence, which means when he is pre-triggered he likely expects your help in de-escalating (not because it's your responsibility, but because that's been your pattern together so far - he has learned that you're safe and he has learned that you can reduce the things that trigger him)
Because you are the safe person, and because you have learned how to hear that pre-triggered state just by tone of voice, and because you've already established a pattern together that you're able to de-escalate, you need to step up when you hear that change of tone in his voice.
Whether that means you say to your friend "stop, he's not in a playful mood" or you say to your husband "hun, take a few deep breaths, you're safe" (or say both) but you have to do something [or you have to work together to stop the established pattern so his brain realizes you can't/won't be able to help]
Either option (helping him, or breaking the pattern) is acceptable, but together you two need to make that choice and then you need to stick with it.
If you're going to stay the safe person who helps, you have to help every time. His brain relies on it. It's an unconscious thought, but it's there.
My husband has PTSD too, and I'm his safe person, so I totally understand what it's like I have PTSD and my husband is my safe person,so I understand what that's like too. It's hard work, but you can't skip that hard work if you want to stay together. I think the work is worth it, but I can only choose for myself, you have to choose for yourself.
To both of you ---
Horseplay is one of the worst things for PTSD. Stop that immediately. No pranks. No unexpected jokes. No horseplay.
If you want to make each other laugh or laugh with friends, tell dad jokes or knock knock jokes or Cards Against Humanity. No physical comedy. No unexpected touches. No touching that's surprising or even "playfully" hurtful. No intentional startling. STOP THE TRIGGERS
My verdict ---
ESH everyone needs more therapy, and everyone needs to change behavior patterns.
Husband here. Firstly thank you for taking the time to write out such a detailed and thoughtful response it really is appreciated. Also basically agree with what you’ve laid out for me I need more tools and yeah meds is definitely one of those. I’m very hopeful that due to a recent VA rating bump I’ll have more options that work towards my own specific needs.
Nuhhuh
You both need to focus on controlling your own feelings and actions instead of expecting everyone around you to be able to read your subtle signs and magically adjust their behaviour. You are both intellectualising the issue to avoid how unhealthy all reactions are involved. You both should do some work on finding yourselves outside of each other. This is a very unhealthy codependant relationship. No one should be this non-chalant about poorly executed physical force. To believe that is some kind of excuse shows how deep in denial you are. You, dear husband, are dangerous to those around you and should be deeply upset with yourself.
Husband here. No one is happy this is basically the worst possible outcome. As in the post but I’ll go over it again here it was the worst possible way to react, and with that being said I’m not looking for justification. She’s been a friend for years and has been made aware of all my issues in detail and what lines I draw with them until recently she is been fine stopping. Hopefully that clears things up more I can definitely answer more if you want.
Nuhhuh
I don't think you understand what I said. You are further intellectualising here to make excuses for your behaviour. I don't think you are a bad person, but you are not taking responsibility for how your lack of dealing with your PTSD and your emotional regulation is harming the people around you. Your wife is making excuses and monitoring your behaviour like an abused woman because you aren't handling your emotions. Your friend 'being aware of your issues in detail' isn't an action plan.
You need to go into some deep therapy. You are currently a ticking time bomb for the people around you and you need to look inward to address those issues. You are the problem and you are not showing any signs of working on the root of the issue, instead you focus on reason and explanations to make others do the work for you. Sadly, that never ends well. Look into DBT, EMDR, and access the VA for better psychological support. I am a veteran, I am not just talking out of my ass. You need help.
RelatableMolaMola
Wife: You saw that he was getting upset and you saw that she didn't realize he was getting upset. You also know his history. Yeah, you can't break his grip once he gets to the point of putting his hands on someone but you could have stopped her from teasing him when it became obvious he wasn't taking it the way she thought. Why did you not get up and stop her instead of watching her push him past the point of no return?
I am absolutely not defending his actions and I find it frightening that he seems to not remember putting his hands on her throat, unless he does and that's what he's glossing over in the OP. Frankly I would not be able to stay with someone with that kind of response, no matter how great they are when they're not triggered to that point. I have been choked in an abusive context before. Do not recommend. BUT you seem to be aware that he is capable of this and you stayed. So at that point I think you have some responsibility to other people who you see provoking him in a manner that could elicit that response.
(The wife) I do. You're right. I am beyond sad that I didn't do it, and yes, I really should have acted faster. My parents used to fight, sometimes violently (usually just breaking stuff and yelling) and when it comes to people I care about, I don't handle their out-of-control anger well. After this incident happened, I sort of lost all my emotions for several hours, which I guess isn't unusual for me in a situation like this. Professionally it's very different, and I don't react like this at all. I feel like it would be good for us to discuss some sort of protocol for times like these so that the both of us can be more prepared. I would suggest exposure therapy or something to keep me from dissociation or whatever it is, but how would one even do that? I'd like to be able to do or say something in the moment that would help, but idk. I love him and he's awesome (and ordinarily one of the most chill, easygoing fun people and i love that about him), and this stuff isn't his fault, but I'm afraid of future legal and personal issues it might bring down on him.
Marked as disturbing if real, sad in general.
No brigading, no harassment, on the chance the OOP pops up again with a different account.
2024.05.21 04:06 Jim1648 Asian Americans Have The Most Income Mobility In Minnesota
Asian Americans have the most income mobility in Minnesota
Asian Minnesotans have higher income mobility rates than not only other racial groups in the state but also Asian Americans in other states. www.startribune.com.Saengmany Ratsabout grew up on public assistance while his father, who had immigrated to the U.S. as a Lao refugee in the 1980s, worked at warehouses and factories to support a family of eight.
INCOME MOBILITY
- Income mobility stalls in Minnesota
- Inequity persists for Black earners
- Gender pay gap stagnates
- Great Recession still haunts millennials
- Native Minnesotans strive for stability
- Asian Minnesotans stand alone in income mobility
Ratsabout's steady growth in income tells the story of Asian American economic success in Minnesota. New data the Federal Reserve Bank of Minneapolis compiled found Asian Minnesotans have higher income mobility rates than not only other racial groups in Minnesota but also Asian Americans in other states. The trend is most stark at the lowest income quartile.
Asian Minnesotans in the lowest-earning group made less than $12,940 in 2014. By 2019, a worker in this group had a 57% chance of moving up income groups and a 43% chance of staying at the bottom group or having no wage income at all. The same pattern holds true for Asian Americans who earned up to $32,990 in 2014. Earners in this group had about a 36% probability of moving up one or more quartiles within five years, while all other racial groups had odds below 30%. Ratsabout, 42, said he and his wife "certainly have had mobility."
The data does not break out nations of origin for Asian Americans, grouping together disparate communities with very different paths to this country. Minnesota's largest Asian American community is Hmong, who began resettling here in the 1970s after allying with the U.S. military in the war against Communists in Laos and then had to rise up from poverty as refugees. Meanwhile, the second- and third-largest groups of Asian Minnesotans are of Indian and Chinese heritage and often come to the state as college students or professionals with specialized skills.
There is no single explanation for Asian Minnesotans' income gains, but members of those groups point to a pressure to succeed in practical careers and an emphasis on education as a few shared pathways.
Consistent growth The Fed data shows once Asian Minnesotans reach the highest income levels, this group also has unusually high rates of "persistence," meaning their incomes don't fall back down again.
Many Indian immigrants move here on visas for highly specialized workers, which could explain why their income stays high. But that also comes with an added burden. Eden Prairie resident Murthy Ivaturi moved to the U.S. from India in 2016 to work in IT on an H-1B visa and said he feels he needs to constantly upgrade his skills and perform at a high level while he waits for his green card application to process amid an enormous backlog.
"We need to ensure we maintain our status," Ivaturi said. "That means we should have specialized skills always and we should prove … exceptional talent. We always keep ourselves running in the race and updating ourselves technology-wise."
He added: "There's a lot of pressure that comes with that."
Pressure to thrive — whether to escape poverty, improve chances of remaining in the country or satisfy personal or cultural expectations — might be another reason for Asian Minnesotans' financial rise. Another could be the state's general economy and a host of social service organizations welcoming refugees and immigrants. The Hmong American Partnership, for instance, provides job training in manufacturing, health care, IT and transportation. The Karen Organization of Minnesota also offers vocational training and job counseling to the newest wave of Asian refugees.
"We don't have an explanation for what makes Minnesota different for Asian earnings compared to Asian earnings in the U.S.," said Illenin Kondo, senior research economist with the Opportunity and Inclusive Growth Institute at the Fed of Minneapolis.
He noted nationally, 35% of Asian Americans in the bottom income quartile have a college education compared to 18% of everyone else. But in Minnesota, the gap is small: 25% of Asian Americans in the lowest income group are college-educated compared to 20% of others. So education can't fully account for the difference. Kondo also pointed out earnings for foreign-born workers nationally have been outpacing their American-born counterparts through the two decades leading to the pandemic.
"It's very strong for top earnings, but it's true across the distribution … that could be playing out a little more strongly in Minnesota," Kondo said.
This picture for Asian Minnesotans isn't universal, though. A 2021 report from the Coalition of Asian American Leaders found many felt systemic racism and structural barriers prevented the community from improving economic mobility and building wealth.
Lee Pao Xiong, director of the Center for Hmong Studies at Concordia University, recalled having 30 relatives on public assistance in California working low-wage jobs during the 1990s. As a Hmong refugee in Minnesota, he successfully encouraged them to move to his state for better employment and affordable housing.
Those family members started out driving buses and working in factories, left behind government reliance and worked their way up to stability. They and other Hmong Americans also focused on education as a way out of poverty, Xiong noted.
Now, more than half of Hmong people in Minnesota own their own home. Xiong said those who came here as children, as well as the second generation, are succeeding.
"That's the spirit of the Hmong community," he said.
Yigang Wang grew up in China and earned a Ph.D. in mechanical engineering in California before moving to the Twin Cities in 2010 to start his career. His income steadily progressed as he advanced through the ranks and switched jobs several times, ultimately landing at his current role as an electrical engineering manager in Eden Prairie. Wang, of Plymouth, said he has found Minnesota's job market to be friendly toward Asian Americans and ripe for good engineers.
"Minnesota is very committed to promoting diversity and inclusion, not just in the university but also in the company," Wang, 45, said.
Chen Zhou is vice president of the Minnesota China Friendship Garden Society Board of Directors and lives in Plymouth. Zhou also said the state is generally welcoming to foreign-born newcomers, noting high participation in Asian American festivals and events.
"They feel they are part of this state," Zhou said of Asian Minnesotans. "They feel they are part of the community."
JERRY HOLT, STAR TRIBUNE Saengmany Ratsabout and his wife, Gao Lee, at their warehouse office at Uprooted Coffee in St. Paul on May 8. Ratsabout's rise in income enabled Lee to to quit her $94,000 human resources job and focus solely on developing the coffee business. The couple work with distributors who bring coffee from Laos to the U.S. for the pair to roast locally and sell online. Refugee mentality Ratsabout initially left a job paying around $57,000 at University of Minnesota to start a business with his wife, Gao Lee, in 2020. But their plan of selling Southeast Asian drinks at festivals imploded when the pandemic arrived. Ratsabout returned to the U as a program manager at the Institute for Advanced Studies in 2022, making $75,000, and saw his income leap to six figures when he moved to a job at the library.
Lee went from being born in public housing to eventually making nearly $94,000 working in human resources for a philanthropic foundation before her husband's rise in income enabled her to quit her job and focus solely on developing their coffee business. Now 41, Lee said it was mentally hard to leave behind that salary to pursue Uprooted Coffee because of the refugee mentality of not having enough.
But after years focusing on building her income, she decided she was ready to fulfill her passion, too. The couple now works with distributors who bring coffee from Laos to the U.S. for the pair to roast locally and sell online as well as at various stores and cafes, including the Minneapolis Laotian restaurant Khâluna. But for the parents of two teenage children in Newport, arriving at this point took many years with no generational wealth as a fallback.
"Among our friends who are doing well financially who are Asian Americans, a lot of them went into careers that they were almost guaranteed a good financial package … because they have such a commitment to making their parents proud and supporting the extended family," Lee said. "So I think sometimes in our culture, that outweighs your own interests, your own passions, a bit."