Hi, I'm 23 and I have a problem. I can't control my stress. I can panic for some really trivial reasons.
I'm in college and when I don't know how to do something I can't just sit down and try to come up with solution. I get panicked easily, start walking around, shaking and talking nonsens to myself. I act like I was insane and can't do anything. That's the reason why I failed my first college 3 years ago. Sometimes I'm not able to do things others have no problems with even if they're also stressed. It's just paralyzing me to the point when I can't do the thing without someone's help. However when İ'm not in that kind of situation I' m completely fine.
Yesterday I had some problems with my thesis so I got very nervous. In the morning I was laying in bed for an hour and was talking nonsens, and was making some nervous movements. Today I have to learn to the test and when I sat down to start learning and realised that I don't understand it I panicked and act like yesterday.
I'm really sick of it. I've never had a job and I'm really scared that when I will have to start living "normal life" my stress will ruin everything.
Is there anything I can do to learn to function with stress?

TLDR: I broke up with my girlfriend due to how she treated me, right after the breakup she got with a guy she met during a party on Halloween and now I feel miserable. I broke up due to how she treated me in the hopes my mental health will be better, but I've been getting worse, and it makes me question my decision. I'm asking for advice on mental health because I'm having trouble living.
It's been 2 months since I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years. We were together for 1 year before having to go long distance due to college and ever since then she would tell me how she didn't know if being in a relationship was good for her. She would bring up the subject multiple times than back off before anything would actually happen.
It was late January when I told her I couldn't keep hearing her doubts and we needed to break up; however, he said she didn't want to, so we stayed together. From that point on our arguments were worse than ever. Every time she would be in the wrong, she would say something along the lines of, "why does it feel like I can't do anything" rather than realizing that she would be the source of such arguments. I don't want to paint myself as the perfect person either, my communication skills were not the greatest during the beginning of our long-distance relationship, but I fixed a lot of how I did communicate.
Now for context, on Halloween we were not together, she went out with friends, and I was with my schools marching band (we had an away game that weekend). I was walking with friends when we found an intoxicated woman that fell in a ditch, and I had to go down and help. She was bleeding porously on her arm, and I ended up having to use my shirt as a torniquet. I texted my girlfriend about what happened, and she blew up on me for giving her my shirt. She ended up telling me that she met a "funny and tall" guy that gave her alcohol to get under my skin. I don't and still do not know what happened that night, but she said she never cheated.
Today she started talking to him a week after we broke up and it makes me question the trust, I had the entire time. I was told by one of my friends the other day that they call every night, and I ended up having a panic attack over the fact that I won't be the person she calls.
I know I sound stupid; I broke up due to how she treated me in the hopes my mental health will be better, but I've just been getting so worse, and it makes me question my decision.
I just want to be happy, but I haven't been able to sleep in days. Do you have any recommendations?
thank you
I didn't add any other aspects of the relationship that made me want to break up due to how large the post is already, let me know if you need more context, and I apologize for more of a rant rather than an actual post.

Hi everyone, I’ve tried to find people on this subreddit with similar experiences, but I’ve had no luck so I figured I would create my own post and see if anyone had any advice. So I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend (24F) for the past 7 years. It’s been a good and healthy relationship, except the fact that I feel extremely uncomfortable around his family. His mom and brother are quiet and we don’t talk much, however his dad has been an issue throughout our relationship. I guess to give some context, my boyfriends dad is not a good person. According to my boyfriend, his dad has admitted to being a delinquent all his life. He’s stolen from friends and family, has done a ridiculous amount of drugs, driven drunk and nearly killed himself in a car crash and more. In recent years, he’s been verbally abusive towards his wife and kids, has a bad temper and is aggressive and offensive to anyone who doesn’t agree with his opinions.
All of this hasn’t really affected me other than seeings bits and pieces of his behaviour when I’m at their home but I can’t do anything aside from ignoring it. However, in the last 3 years or so, I’ve started to feel uncomfortable with the ‘jokes’ or comments he makes towards myself or in general about women. Just to name a few instances, he was pissed off at his wife about something insignificant and when it was just me and him alone in the living room he said ‘if only I were younger I’d get with someone like you’. Or the many times I’ve caught him looking at me up and down for too long and calling me pretty. Recently, he’s started taking pictures of family members, which sounds innocent enough. Except that he always finds a way to take photos of me alone or his younger sons girlfriends which he chose to print and frame for himself. Then he picks up the photo every once in awhile and says ‘ I don’t want to sound like a creepy old man but these girls are gorgeous’. I don’t want to sound crazy or dramatic but there have been several instances where I felt extremely uncomfortable by how he looks at me, I can’t even explain it properly. This extends to my boyfriends’ brothers girlfriend as well as other younger women who are considered family friends. He makes constant remarks about their bodies and how they look and then goes on to compare his wife to us and says she doesn’t look as good as we do. Recently there was a conversation that took place about a new movie with an attractive female celebrity and he interrupted by saying that ‘she has a fat ass, she’s sexy and that she’s all over his Facebook feed and he loves looking at her’ in front of his wife and kids. Anytime anyone calls him out on his language or behaviour he jumps to the ‘I’m joking’ excuse when we know he isn’t.
Just to add, he also makes it a point to embarrass both his sons on their appearance and says that we as their girlfriends are out of their leagues. My boyfriends can’t do anything about it because if he does, his dad explodes and gets angry which causes the household atmosphere to shift into chaos for a long time afterwards. All I feel I can do is to avoid him as much as possible but I still feel uncomfortable in their home when he’s around. Any advice? Thank you all in advance
TLDR; my boyfriend’s dad is creepy, how do I handle it?

SENUA RETURNS IN A BRUTAL SAGA OF SURVIVAL
• Intent on saving those who have fallen victim to the horrors of tyranny, Senua faces a battle of overcoming the darkness within and without. • Sink deep into the next chapter of Senua’s story, a crafted experience told through cinematic immersion, beautifully realised visuals and encapsulating sound.
MetaCritic - 81 as of posting
IGN - 8/10
Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II delivers a spellbinding adventure packed with cinematic spectacle and story surprises that maintains a surging sense of forward momentum and never wastes a second of its slender run time. Its combat manages to feel consistently intimidating and immediate despite its mechanical simplicity, and its perspective-based puzzles regularly scratch cerebral itches even though they largely rehash or rework concepts from Senua’s previous story. A journey as brutal as it is beautiful delivered with hardware-pushing visuals and persistently absorbing audio, Senua’s Saga: Hellblade II is another Viking-worthy feast for the senses that meets the high bar set by its predecessor, even if it never really manages to clear it.
The Gamer - 3/5
It's easy to focus on Hellblade 2's flaws because they are so surface level. Combat is repetitive and made an unnecessary focal point. The extra characters dilute instead of adding. I'm still not sure what Hellblade thinks it is, or wants to be. But deeper than that, there is some quality worth rooting for - an interesting protagonist powered by a brilliant performance, ingenious use of the environment for exploration and puzzles, a true electric miracle of motion capture unfolding before our eyes.
VGC - 3/5
Ultimately, Hellblade 2 has to be considered a stumble as Xbox gets its first-party story back on track. The game will likely receive some acclaim during the coming awards season, but this will almost certainly be on a technical basis, and not related to how the game actually plays.
GameRant - 4/5
Senua’s Saga: Hellblade 2 swings for the fences with a unique narrative, complex themes, top-tier graphics, superb sound design, and crisp animation. In trying to curate a cinematic experience, though, the game can feel less interactive and more prescribed. Combat is chunky and vicious, but it is not as involved as most character action games. You merely go through the motions when solving its puzzles, even if they are visually interesting. And moving from point A to point B doesn’t offer much to do except keep holding forward. If you didn’t enjoy the first game, then the sequel is unlikely to make a believer out of you.
NME - 3/5
Mostly, Hellblade 2 seems like a victim of its own scope, which is a strange thing to write about a six-hour-long video game. It never knows when to stick with one idea, character, or plotline. The presence of Giants is woven well into the start of the story, but after a touching bit of character development and an epic, tragic boss fight that could have been worked into a perfect climax, the game outstays its welcome by throwing more characters, more combat, more puzzles, and more walking at you.

Hello, I wonder how much system resources Syncthing needs and if it’s the best solution for the following job. I'm looking for a tool to one-way sync drone footage saved on the DJI Smart Controller (running Android 7.1.2) via wifi to a laptop running Windows 11, both connected to the same wifi network. Everything should work automatically in the background on system startup without user interaction and transfer files with minimal delay as soon as they are created or modified, from the Smart Controller to the laptop (just when the DJI Pilot app gets the files from the drone during flight and saves them in specific folders on the internal or external storage of the Smart Controller).
I’m a voluntary firefighter and the goal is that the incident commander can sit at the laptop and just has to click on a local folder in Windows explorer to review and process the latest data captured by the drone in real-time. Also the drone’s pilot shouldn’t have to do anything to initiate the transfer, but should be able to stop it easily.
I evaluated Syncthing on my Android phone and it seems to work that way and is relatively easy to set up, but I read that it may use a lot of system resources as it hashes all new files and transfers them encrypted. The Smart Controller is said to have rather low-spec hardware (Rockchip RK3399, 4 GB RAM) and needs to be able to still run the drone flight app plus screen capture during critical missions without stability issues and it’s battery should not get drained too fast. Also it’s a trusted, secure wifi and another layer of encryption is unnecessary; file history versioning by name and size is also sufficient (without hashing).
I came across the app SSHelper with rsync, as well as maybe an approach with ADB / wireless debugging. I have only rudimentary experience with rsync, SSH, ADB and other intricate Android / Linux stuff. Do you have any advice how to proceed, maybe even on proprietary software alternatives?

Hi all,
As the title states I'm looking for some career advice, and maybe also an opportunity to get some things off my chest. So, I apologize in advance if this is a little long.
I started my career in market research by complete happenstance. I was fresh out of college with a Marketing degree and applied for a job for a large well-known market research supplier - mainly because the title had "marketing" in it. I honestly had little clue what the company did, but it was an entry level position, and they weren't expecting any experience. I worked at this company for 14 years, getting promoted every couple of years which kept me happy and content. We primarily focused on copy testing TV ads, and brand tracking work. I learned the basics of market research, writing q'res, checking data tables, populating reports, drawing insights from the data. But I would classify all this knowledge as very surface level. Since we had standard "solutions" I rarely, if ever had to write a survey from scratch. We had a data processing team, so I never learned SPSS, R, or other data processing tools. After around year 12 I started looking for other jobs, because I was burnt out doing the same research every day and because of our company’s direction - maximizing profits, cutting workforce, offshoring data functions, etc.
At this time, I tried to branch out of market research, but looking for adjacent type of work - think marketing/web analytics, etc. - but didn't have much luck. I either made too much money or was disregarded because I didn't have the exact experience the role was looking for. I finally ended up taking a job with a small UK firm that specialized in text analytics - basically automated coding of verbatim comments. The role was interesting, as we were using the text analysis to comb through hundreds of thousands of CX survey comments every month. Unfortunately, the company who was conducting the CX research offered our clients the text analytics for free or very little cost, making our services redundant. This was the company’s only US client, so there was nowhere for me to go even though I enjoyed working for the company. Luckily, I saw the writing on the wall early and was able to job hunt before we were officially let go from our contract.
Given the pressure of impending doom at the previous position, I wasn't too choosey about my next role. I took a position in the research department for a B2B trade magazine publisher. In hindsight this was a dead-end move from the beginning, as the company was in a dying industry (who reads magazines anymore?) The research role was split between doing industry research studies to provide editorial content for the 50+ publications and doing custom research using our vast subscriber base. Most of the studies we conducted just ended up being copies of the previous year’s study and required very little thinking. Even the "custom" studies were often repeat waves from prior years and were in areas I had little knowledge of (roofing materials, plumbing fixtures, industrial food manufacturing equipment, etc.). Again, I saw the writing on the wall, as the company's revenue declined year over year and the custom research group barely topped $1MM in revenue (it was basically the co-CEO's pet project). Back to the job search.
This time, I was able to use some connection to get in touch with the hiring manager for a private mid-sized research supplier that specialized in TV ad effectiveness research, which was right up my alley thanks to the experience at my first company. I was hired and was able to seamlessly step into the role. I mainly enjoyed what I was doing, even if it was a bit repetitive. I was good at it, and I liked the company and people I worked with. At this point in my career, I was less concerned about climbing the corporate ladder and more concerned about work life balance and job stability. My main hope was to ride out this job until I was ready to retire (~10 years). However, as is happening all over the research industry, our company was acquired by a private equity funded research company. Over the past 2 years since the acquisition, there have been multiple layoffs and restructurings as the private equity firm looks to squeeze every cent out of their investment. There is no more job stability, and I feel like it is only a matter of time before I'm let go, and I can’t ride out my time here to retirement.
I have again begun a job search but I am running into all the same issues I had when I left my first company. I don't have technical know-how (SPSS, statistical techniques, etc.) and my research expertise is in a small niche sector (ad/marketing effectiveness). There are very few mid-sized research firms left, as most of them have been consolidated into large firms. So I'm either left with these big corporately run firms that have all of the same issues my current companies have (only care about profits above all else), or they are small boutique firms that are looking for research experience (CX, segmentation, product testing, etc.) I don't have and/or technically experience with statistical/data tools.
I don't really want to go back to school to learn a new career, because by the time I finish a new degree I may only want/need to work for a few more years. I'd love to find something that is flexible, and stable even if it means I make less money than I do now. Most of the research firms don't seem to be hiring right now, and I don't know if I'm just trading one bad situation for another. I can't seem to break into any adjacent industries (marketing analytics, media agencies, etc.) I've investigated government jobs, but nothing seems to translate to my experience.
Any other places I should be looking at? Does anyone else feel trapped in this industry that seems to be getting worse every year as more and more consolidation happens?
TL:DR - Have 20+ years of supplier side research experience but in a very niche sector, which is preventing me from getting considered for other jobs/industries. Mainly searching for stability and flexibility (versus $ and career advancement) but that seems to be in short supply as the research industry is continually being consolidated and gobbled up by hedge funds and private equity.

(Veteran ranked player).The past 10 games I've played have either had an afk player, a player who just didn't know how to play the game (they would run into the enemy post teeming with enemies and die and would keep on doing the same thing or players who would go to top lane/bottom lane or central lane where there is already the sufficient amount of people who claimed it aswell).
The last game I played had a zeraora who ran into the top lane when there was already 2 and left a ralts alone in bottom. I was in central and didn't even realize until the gardevoir was already fighting so I decided to go help.
Also there are players who always leave and get replaced by a bot (bots are trash, but probably better than most of the playerbase 😂). It's getting very annoying tbh that I have to play with just distasteful players.
Also people seem to just love speedsters. Whenever I pick a talonflame 2 others decide to also pick a speedster and unfortunately there's no chat in the loading phase of the game bruhh. They should add a chat there instead of "I'll hinder them", "I'll focus on dealing damage" it's very annoying that I can't tell people to pick another character. When this happens I do change from speedster to whatever role is needed (I don't have supporters though yet - didn't buy any).
I just want bad players to be banned tbh or can I block them? I don't know how. I know the playerbase isn't too large so if I just block every bad player I come across I should be able to filter out to the more respectable players no?
Oh yeah also players who steal wilds from teammates who require that experience when they are levels above them are scum of the earth. I played a gardevoir and I was bottom lane with a zacian, and he or she kept on killing every single wild I came across. I kid you not he would run all the way back to where I am just to kill the mon I was trying to kill. I was still ralts at the 7 minute point and level 4. I tried going centre to kill the mons there as I had completely given up on the bottom path (level 8 zacian at this point running straight into enemy goal and dying). When I tried to level up in the centre the zacian came and killed everything. I leveled up to gardevoir just before rayquaza came and we ultimately lost that game. (Despite being badically out of commission the whole game I was still the "MVP" 😂).

I stared, mouth dry, heart pounding, at the message from my boss – That awful combination of words that my coworkers and I pray we never see:
“You’re in the running for Employee of the Year.”
For him to send something so callous via email – that was just rubbing salt in the wound.
My eyes glazed over the wall of text that followed. I didn’t need to read the details – I’d cleaned enough of the prior winners off the walls and ceiling of the soundproofed breakroom to know exactly what the award entailed.
After that initial, deep pang of fear faded, denial flooded in to take its place.
I wasn’t just hitting my sales quota, I was blowing it out of the damn water – selling big ticket items daily. I never forgot to place the stickers with my barcode on the products, either, so when my customers checked out and it was scanned at the register, the sales should’ve automatically been linked to my employee ID.
We don’t receive commission – there are other ‘incentives’ to keep our sales up. I hadn’t been watching the numbers because I knew I was making sales left and right – I would've never even dreamt that I was at risk.
It was just a glitch with our computer system, I decided with a nervous laugh. It had to be – something IT could probably sort out in no time.
When I finally regained control of my legs, I wobbled to my manager’s office.
There was no miscalculation, he assured me. It was my employee ID that ranked at the bottom.
“The barcodes never lie, Graham.” He didn’t even bother making eye contact.
I was circling the drain figuratively, and if I didn’t get my shit together – literally – soon enough.
I begged him to review the camera footage – I knew he'd be able to see me making all those sales. “Don’t worry,” he added, with a smile vacant of anything remotely resembling happiness, “One way or another, we all contribute to the success of our company.”
I suppose that by then, he was long desensitized to the pleas of the desperate.
As I left his office, I assured myself that this wasn’t a death sentence.
Not yet.
I had another month until they recalculated our final standings, before shit would get real. Before I’d be given a limp handshake and an empty ‘Thank you for your devotion to the company’ as I was led down the hallway. Before I’d meet what lives behind the usually padlocked door in the shadowy corner of the breakroom.
Before I’d learn what it truly meant to sacrifice myself for the good of the company.
Word spread fast around the office.
Kevin gave me his smug, shit eating grin – maybe he thought that with me out of the picture, he’d finally have a shot with Elise.
Elise… I just desperately hoped that hers wouldn’t be the name drawn afterwards – the one selected to hose what’s left of me off the breakroom floor and down the stained, rusty drain.
As required, I began parking in my new designated space at the far end of the employee lot – the faded sign indicating ‘Reserved for Employee of the Year’ nearly swallowed up by the encroaching tree line. It added an extra ten minutes to my walk to our store, and I dreaded that added time in the oppressive Texas heat. The rational part of me knew that was soon to be a moot point, though.
One way or another, in another month, I wouldn’t have that parking spot. If I were lucky, I’d live to see another summer – live to see some other poor bastard’s car parked there.
If they hadn’t already heard the news, when the rest of my coworkers saw my car in that space, they knew what it meant. Don’t get too attached.
They started avoiding me like the plague. I didn’t blame them.
We all knew what would be coming next if my sales didn’t improve – it's the same thing that happens every time:
We’d gather for the mandatory meeting on the closing night of the fiscal year, all eyes on the sorry son of a bitch that had ‘won’ – the room so quiet that you could hear their muffled sobs. They’d receive what barely constituted a handshake from my manager while he muttered – dead-eyed – his appreciation for their devotion to the company.
Next, they’d be ushered off to the breakroom to meet ‘corporate’. No one tried to run – not after what happened in '19. Instead, the winner would always turn back, shooting us a desperate, final look – eyes pleading for someone, anyone, to intervene. And, of course, no one ever did.
Once the door closed behind them and that sound-proofed room swallowed up the last of their sobbing, begging – it was over. The rest of us would be sent home and I'd try to shower away that disgusting feeling – that sick sense of relief that someone else was sent to their death, and not me.
Cal – the nicest guy I’d ever met – he was the bottom performer two years ago.
He’d fallen so ill that he’d nearly wasted away and eventually, couldn’t work anymore. He must've thought that freed him from his contract – if he left, if he never came back into work, he’d be okay.
He must not have read the fine print in our hiring paperwork.
Although, to be fair, if any of us had read it, we'd never have signed it in the first place.
Cal was a warning to the rest of us, that there is no quitting in our line of work. If they have to track you down and find you (and I promise you that they will find you) – well, wouldn’t you prefer to go with your dignity, with the company compensating your loved ones – rather than be pulled from your home, kicking and screaming into the night?
Gina was employee of the year in 2023. Gina, with the kind smile, whom Kevin had set his sights on before Elise – and, just like Elise, she wanted nothing to do with him.
I still remember that day, the day they released the final numbers. The way Gina’s mouth hung open in confusion, shock.
When she finally managed to form words again, she too insisted that there must be some mistake. We all vouched for her to management – I’d personally seen her make so many sales.
Our manager simply reminded us that the barcodes never lie.
My name was the one drawn for breakroom duty that next morning, to pick up what remained of her smile and her simple gold wedding band, to be returned to her family. In one business week, they received a box containing a check, and everything left of her that wouldn’t fit down the drain.
Once the numbers are finalized, once your employee barcode has been slapped on that innocuous looking pink slip, well, your fate is sealed.
Kevin, in all his years at the company, has never parked on the far side of the lot. He has never even come close to becoming Employee of the Year, even though he couldn’t sell a bottle of water to a man dying of dehydration. He is sleaze incarnate and doesn’t even have the charisma to mask it.
I never understood how he did so well, but I couldn’t afford to think about him.
I had myself to worry about, and the glitch in the system. Any time I found myself in the breakroom, that ancient wooden door was an unwelcome reminder of the impending one-way trip it held for me.
I took special care to keep an eye on my sales, working my ass off, pulling double shifts. I pulled up the numbers as the end of month drew near, and couldn't believe it.
I was still dead last.
Somehow, there were days where less than half of my sales had been recorded to my employee number.
I didn’t understand.
I waited for the opportunity to sneak into the manager's office, and pull the footage myself.
I’d show the boss that something had gone wrong with the calculations, that the system was broken.
I finally got my chance. At first, I triumphantly watched myself make sale after sale – far more than had been credited to my account. For the first time in a month, I felt a sense of relief. I had evidence, and that had to count for something.
I switched feeds, to the camera nearer to the registers so I could confirm that the codes were being scanned. I'd seen several scanned successfully, and reached to turn off the recording. That's when I saw it.
Saw him.
Kevin.
It was subtle. I didn't realize what he was doing at first, until I recognized the pattern. Even then, I had to rewind and watch again for it to click.
It happened for nearly half of my sales that day. I saw him Intercepting the customers before they could check out – before I could get credit for my sales. And while he chatted them up, he discretely slapped his employee barcode over my own.
I confronted him that night – I was furious. He just smiled, smugly gave me that line about how the barcodes never lie.
He didn’t give a shit that he was sentencing someone else to death.
Hell, maybe he even enjoyed it.
Kevin had stolen credit for Gina’s sales – and god knows who else's.
Fucking. Kevin.
The day our numbers were to be finalized, he had the audacity to place his barcode over mine on a huge sale I’d made – he made no attempt at hiding it – right in front of me. He flashed me a grin as he did.
I caught up with the customers before they checked out and they kindly allowed me to peel the sticker off. I stuck it in my pocket to show my manager.
I pulled the video, too, and I stormed into his office, refused to leave until he watched it. I studied him as his eyes moved across the screen and if he was upset or shocked, he certainly didn't show it.
Finally, he met my eyes, and at the sight of the pain in his – well, for the first time, I felt a sense of relief.
Until I realized why he looked so miserable. Until he whispered, “I'm sorry, Graham. Someone has to receive that award tomorrow. It's out of my hands.”
I wordlessly handed him that damn barcode sticker of Kevin’s that I’d peeled off. He studied it for a long moment before he handed it back to me with a mere, “Why don't you hold onto this.”
I told Elise what had happened over lunch, and as much as I appreciated her outrage on my behalf, I was already resigned to it. I'd mainly wanted to warn her because I had a sick feeling she'd be the one Kevin went after next.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't devastated when, that night, my boss called me into his office and informed me of the final standings. Yeah, I knew it was coming, but I guess it's just human nature to hold onto denial – hope – until the bitter end.
For what felt like an eternity, we stared at each other in silence. The presence of the pink slip of paper lying on the desk between us, said more than enough.
Finally, my eyes drifted down to the form.
He’d already signed, but the space where my barcode – the series of vertical lines spelling out my death sentence – should’ve been placed, was empty.
I never knew how this part went, since it always took place behind closed doors. No one that ever filled out that form lived to tell the rest of us about it.
“I need you to place a barcode here before I send the form to corporate.” he said, eventually.
I opened my mouth for one final, impassioned plea for my life, but he interrupted me. He spoke each word slowly, softly.
“I’m leaving the room now. I need you to place a barcode here, before I send the form to corporate.”
He stared at me for a long moment, waiting for my barely perceptible nod of acknowledgement before leaving me alone in the office.
They processed the paperwork, and announced the Employee of the Year that next day.
Yes, I did feel a pang of guilt as I watched the smug grin fade, the blood drain from Kevin’s face as he stared in shock at the outstretched hand of our manager – as he was thanked for his devotion to our company.
I felt it again as I watched him plead all the way to the breakroom, as our manager spoke to him the same mantra we’d all heard before.
The barcodes never lie.
But I thought of Gina, of the countless others, and by the time I heard the door slam behind him – the guilt was already gone. In its place, the relief of knowing the rest of us were safe.
Well, at least until next year.

Everybody wants Norsca to be relevant and good again. With Epidemus, Tamurkhan, Malakai, Kislev, Thrott the Unclean, Malus Darkblade surrounding you, and the WoC update, a lot of people have complained that the Norsca roster feels slim, bare-bones, and their campaign can feel lackluster. That being said, Norsca has an amazing economy (arguably the best), a solid dependable defensive base in Norsca, the capability for rapid expansion, and strong lords so it definitely DOES have a lot going for it, and Throgg himself can lead an extremely frenzied (or rapid) campaign.
TL;DR of How Throgg and Norsca Work

• Norscan leaders can automatically confederate other Norscan factions by defeating the faction leader. This leads to Throgg having a 4 settlement start by the end of turn 1.
  
• With the blue line skill tree, you can get 9% improved casualty replenishment, another 9% with a Fimir Balefiend. That's a TON of casualty replenishment, especially when you consider the fact that with Mammoths, Ice Trolls, and Skin Wolves, your units rarely if ever drop to a low amount of models.
  
• Throgg gives Trolls & Ice Tolls a physical resistance of 15% and a reduced upkeep of 20%, which makes the unit absolutely fantastic faction wide.
  
• Their tier 3 ports give 800 income, 15% casualty replenishment and +30 growth. Enough said.
  
• Loads of buffs for sacking, and rewards you for razing settlements to the ground. When you raze a settlement, you can dedicate it to 4 gods. Benefits ranging from improved income from ports, improved casualty replenishment, reduced upkeep for your armies, and unique lords.
  
• A monster hunting mechanic that gives items, cash, and of course, unique RoR monsters to join your armies. Surprisingly, this actually isn't really that impactful. The RoR are amazing, especially the Hellcannon, but they're minor compared to everything else.
  

Pros & Cons:
Will try to only give pros and cons relevant to Throgg's faction rather than the Norsca.
Pros:

• Very fresh campaign because wherever you look, you have enemies. In less than 40 turns, it's almost guaranteed you will fight Dwarves, WoC, Nurgle, Kislevians, Dark Elvens, Empire, Norscans, Skavens and a plethora of LLs.
  
• You can get Throggs end game doomstack online very fast. The doomstack stays relevant the entire game. Throgg is fun AF to use, and Ice Trolls & Skin Wolves reliably destroy most armies. I wish I could have 5 Throggs, I'd literally paint the entire map in maybe 100 turns.
  
• Very flexible gameplay that rewards you in every way for being aggressive and moving forward.
  
• Throgg gives his personal armies Trolls +8 MD, +12 Leadership (!!), another -10% upkeep, 20% missile resistance, Frenzy (which is massive on these guys), and most importantly, HORRIBLE REGENERATION which means they can REVIVE DEAD MODELS (ABSOLUTELY WILD). These buffs also apply to Skin Wolves and Femirs. With the red tree, you can give them another +6 MA and 12% WS. With techs, +10% charge bonus, and another +10% WS. **THEY ARE INSANE AND HIT LIKE A WRECKING BALL. To make it even better, Throgg has the ability to give Ice Trolls a global recruitment turn of 1, which greatly improves your ability to navigate in enemy lands.
  
• Norscans encamp stance is a raiding encamp stance providing 10 MD, 10 LD, raids, makes them immune to attrition, and decreases the upkeep of that army by 20%. Huge, huge plus.
  
• When you confederate Wulfrik, he's still the same insane duelist. With his abilities, you can reliably snipe 99% of the LLs with little to no effort. I struggle to see an enemy AI that can take him on except maybe Malus Darkblade and even then, you'd need a large XP gap. Mammoth Wulfrik? No shot. He can drop most generic LLs MD to 0 and stop them from moving.
  
• You can achieve the win condition by as little as 30 turns. Damn.
  
• Easily the best end turn sound effect. Click end turn, inhale, and yell NOOORSCAA.
  

Cons:

• The roster is slim, and as a result, it can become very stale. In fact, I would boil down the roster to two LLs, heroes, ice trolls, chaos trolls, mammoths (sick af tho), and skin wolves. You could maybe play fimirs but you have better trolls so why? That's really not that many units when you consider factions like WoC, Lizardmen, High Elves, Skaven, etc. This is a WH1 faction, they should have so many more units (I get that it may not have as much content from the table top).
  
• You have defendable inner provinces but you're surrounded by enemies. You literally can't be everywhere at once. Although, when you conquer the Northern chaos wastes, you have your back to the edge of the map.
  
• Norsca is too long. It can take upwards of 8 turns to go from 1 end to the other, and there's mountains separating them as well, so you could chase Wulfrik down the middle only for him to be on the other end and all of a sudden you're listening to this.
  
• Outside of your own personal goals, the campaign offers little to no goals after you beat the initial goal. You got the only other LL within 30 turns. You crushed Kislev. The Empire is a grind. You got your tier 5 settlements and units within 30 turns. It can be stale. I personally enjoyed the campaign late in because I like painting the map and watching Throgg eat up different LLs but there were moments where it was weak.
  

Early Game:
You do have a bit of a tough initial battle, but you got it for sure. Let your province allow you to recruit 1 more, recruit and move. Ignore Norsca after you get your initial province, go down, take Malakai out ASAP (very achievable, rush his artillery). get Lair of the Trolls, go down and you'll find Kostatlyn and Azazel fighting, with Kostatlyn wounded. In fact, if you offer to join his war against Azazel, he'll most likely agree to be your vassal (happened in 3 out of 3 playthroughs). Don't let him be your vassal, he won't join wars against Katarin and its in your victory condition to crush him. With this, you have Katarin to crush and you can recruit another lord in Norsca to lead your war to confederate the others.
Build infrastructure buildings ASAP. Minor settlements will have growth building + minor military chains + either the income building (only 150g, so not really worth it), or the building that gives you a wizard hero.
If you decide to raise another army, it could be worth it to wait till Throgg minimizes the global recruit time for trolls. You can save loads of turns and cash because you recruit 3 Ice Trolls per turn. Replace Throggs army with Ice Trolls ASAP though, and make sure that its recruited on the east side of your province because thats significantly faster to reach Throgg with than raising at the capital.
Mid Game:
A decision here: Do you continue conquering past Kislev into the Empire and eventually running into the Chaos dwarves? Or do you conquer the entirety of Norsca and go north? It's up to you. You've probably already accomplished your early victory conditions, so it's entirely up to you.
The ideal composition for non-Throgg armies now are LL, 2 Skinwolf Werekin, 1 Fimir Balefiend, and 1 Sorcerer-Shaman, 6 Skin Wolves, Ice Trolls, and maybe 3-4 ranged units (I add them for flavor but you could just have more Ice Trolls or whatever you want here).
Malus Darkblade will be a PROBLEM. Loads of ranged weapons, artillery, and Malus is a tough, tough guy to beat. Sigvald might also have the legendary heroes with him + upwards of 5-6 armies between him and his vassal who attack you from all sides. Sigvald and Malus will 100% get some of your settlements. You can't be everywhere all at once.
Late Game:
Mammoth doomstacks. Raze settlements. Occupy and paint the map. Do whatever you want. You were done with your objectives in the early game, it's entirely up to you what you want to do now. You've also experienced most of the roster, so it's literally just long term objectives for you. I would actually not advise that you play into the late game, because I am almost certain you will find the campaign stale as hell and the god rewards aren't worth grinding out for, especially now that we have Tzeentch and Nurgle factions.
Trees
In this order for Throgg:

• Blue Tree: I recommend 3 points in despoilers, 1 in Norscan Resilience (You're never there long enough to benefit from the growth and recruitment cost doesnt matter). Lightning strike, unnatural healing, and then you can skip spawn of chaos but you're already there so you might as well.

Into

• Red Tree: You definitely want to optimize for trolls, and then for monsters of the north. On Throgg though, you can skip going for monsters of the north, and immediately go into Throggs line now.
  
• Throggs Line: You can skip Dread Retainers (its good but not necessarily priority). Primordial might is great for WS as well, makes it worth getting.
  
• Yellow Tree: The rest is up to you. It's all good here, I take hard to hit and deadly blade, wound maker, and indomitable/scarred veteran (both good, especially since Throggs regen helps him last vs LLs that cause terror).
  

Research Tree

• Beeline to Corpulent Sails (campaign movement range is insane).
  
• Monster Hunter into Ice Blooded Strength (boost your trolls even more).
  
• The rest is completely up to you, I skip the marauder lines though (so basically just ignore top left of the research map).
  

Stand Out Units, lords, heros

• Trolls: You should know this by now. Beasts, crazy stats, crazy regen, cheaper, physical resistance, easy to globally recruit.
  
• War Mammoths: One of the coolest units in the game, a doomstack of these has a hard time losing.
  
• Skinwolves: I actually got really good use out of these units in the campaign. Anti-large is becoming more and more useful, the regen is excellent, they're speedy as hell, I was surprised by how much I loved this unit. They definitely fall off as the game goes on though.
  
• Chaos Frost Dragon: You will recruit these because they're dragon. They're pretty good. You'll enjoy.
  
• Throgg & Wulfrik are really, really fun. Wulfrik more so than Throgg. He has a ton of bound abilities.
  

Overall Rating & Review
If you're an old head who's played a ton of Norsca, it be very enjoyable to play Norsca with the new LLs that surround you. If you're new and own WH1, Norsca is a fun faction that you need no DLC for to have everything. There's no time wasted in this campaign, no down time, it ramps up as fast as it burns out.
Definitely a fun change of pace, a straightforward campaign, it's not where we would probably want Norsca as a faction and they would benefit a ton from just a few more units and some end game goals. That being said, I don't think it deserves the amount of hate I see it getting. It's enjoyable.
Final rating:
8/10+ if you're a Norsca fan.
7/10 if you're neutral.
5/10 if you're a difficulty nut.
Also everyone, it's my second time writing a guide or a review for Total War, so if you have any feedback, please do let me know in the comments! I submit my first guide for Nakai over a year ago, and I still get messages in my inbox and on that thread for it which really motivated me to make another guide. I'll be more than happy to get back to anyone if they have any questions, I had a great time playing this campaign and I love this game!

Rise up. It is time to return.
Arose
A Rose
Rose
Flower
Thorn. Prick. Blood. Drop. Tear. B. O. 1 2 3
Here we are again. Staring at the beginning. Everything is in chaos and yet it manages to keep on passing by just the same as always. Most people by now are aware that things just don’t seem to make sense anymore and no one really knows what to do. I mean many seem to have an opinion on what ought to happen, but actual action is what I am talking about. How does thought turn into action? How do collected actions become a movement? How do the People use the Power of the People? The People Unite. How? Turn to each other of course. Brothers and Sisters of the same Source. Sons and Daughters. In Equality.
Too long has everyone been waiting for someone else to come do it for them. Been trying to create and fabricate over and over again words and rituals to try to control the divine powers of the cosmos. It does not work like that. There is no magic spell to wash away your sins. You must atone through action to make up for any harm you have caused intentionally or unintentionally. You still have time to repent. The amount of time you have is counted in the seconds of your life. Not a single second is promised to you so the gamble is up to you to choose. Freewill. Life your life as you always have or make changes, up to you. Only you will know if you are living righteously and not self righteously. Testing has already begun and will continue. No you will not know when it is a test or not. That is the point. Did you think that I would come to you in a form where you would be all fearing? Oh no. Why? Because you would simply put on an act for me and kiss ass. I came hidden in the ordinary. Poor and common. I have had an inside view of the systems created and how humans have chosen to run things, how systems claiming to protect people have failed and how the system that talks good does not actually do good. I see where things are not working and where people think they can make decisions for other human beings to determine what is best for them without asking them. That is not okay. Nothing gives you right over another’s life. And so many forgot what integrity is. Doing the right thing when no one is looking. Well, so many thought their power here was real and man made a deal with the Devil, Satan, Son of Samuel, Son of Man, to make man the concept of “God” and tried to lock me away. I gave up everything to prove it is not easy to be me and to stop with self pity and cruelty to one another.
The human body. It is a vessel for your soul to experience this world. The body provides the filters necessary to perceive and interact with this world. There is much more happening and one would be overwhelmed by the amounts of information to process without these filters. To feel and in those feelings are to make each experience real. However, it is temporary, as everything is temporary. We have slowed down time here in order to be able to enjoy the sensations. Time here however, is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It is merely to track to organize one's day and to see growth to compare as time passes. However, the actual time folds upon itself as we have already done what we are doing many times over. We have already tried out everything and decided what path we wanted to take in our lives based upon what was available to us. Thus, we do not have more than we can handle. We have all chosen our burdens to bear as it is too much for one individual to hold alone which was done in the past. This is part of the sorting process. Now that we all share in the sins and the pains, no one is made to suffer eternal torment. This life was to allow those who were created into entities of pain or torment through no fault of their own to choose the life that matched the being of who they were as what they were different as time and space and everything developed. Righteousness and Evil are not synonymous to demons or angels as many would like to believe. This is a current misconception as Satan and I conclude who will be right in this experience you have all participated in. So far, I am proving to be right. Also to note, not everything is as you think it is. Many have figured out the true origin of Satan versus the man or human embodiment of or desire of A Satan to project evils onto to call a Religion and set up for personal importance. Q AZHow can you tell a false prophet? Easy. What is their profit? Get it? I know I’m funny. Also wanted to keep it easy. If they are making a profit on anything they are a false prophet. Any true prophet, and I have none so far, all live equally and the same as anyone else. No money is taken for personal gain. Nothing is for personal gain. There is no 888 Angel code for money. Money is Man-Made. Man traded Mother for Money. Hence, Mothers have been lost in the homes and no one is raising the children. Thus, there are so many children in adult bodies with no mothers in the home and women being made to feel guilty if they do not achieve the same as a man. Remember the phrase it takes a village? Well, the broken family system is a real sad loss here in man made world pushing everyone to be individual and self sufficient. Also so many with wanting attention and pursuing personal endeavors for personal gain and not helping anyone else in a real way. The journey is personal. Of course, you want to share what you experienced with others, but what worked for you will not work for them, stop trying to sell it. Stop trying to make people follow you for you to teach your divine wisdom you remembered. It isn’t about You. You don’t even have the full story, you have your story. And, yes you can be very close to me, very similar to me, in my image, but you can never BE me. Doesn’t work like that. Reflection. So when jealousy arises when you think I am who you think I am. That is part of your test and your journey. You wrestle with that feeling and atone and repent for that which has been done and that which still lingers now. Oh there is a place for everyone and I am quite tired of trying to warn people. Clearly you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.
Why do you not want it to be me so badly? Because I proved my love? You still think I am better than you or do I think I’m always right. No I do not think I am always right, I just know when I am right and I stand by it. There is a difference. You constantly overgeneralize. I gave up all the magic and thunder to live as a simple human and am still kind and loving? I still found my way back. Because you can no longer say I do not understand because I always get what I want? No. You do not understand. I never get what I want, because I make everything about you and still nothing was ever good enough. So, now...it in on you to save yourself and each other. In my image, by my example. Selflessness. Love. Compassion. Give to receive. Take only what you need and give the rest away. I find out so stop lying to yourself and everyone, you aren’t fooling anyone anyway. How do I know? By watching what you do. We have these same conversations over and over, the same argument over and over again. So many different ways, so many different times, through so many different people, so many different versions. Save you. Save Me. Say it for always.
Anyhow, Jesus challenges the Jewish priests who were taking collection money for personal use and adding personal baths to their residents at a time where the people only had a community bath where women and persons with disabilities were not allowed to bathe. And yet churches still do this after Jesus was crucified saying that, that was wrong. I am appalled. The Vatican is the biggest disappointment I have ever seen. It is truly the house of Satan as only Evil hides secrets. “THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.” A church cannot be a “House of God” and house no people who need housing. A roof can be offered to anyone and yet there are so many rules to prevent people from helping each other. Power and control. Abuse of both. Greed. It is out of hand and needs to be changed. Too many are afraid and the complacency of good people is too much. Why do you do this to yourselves? To each their own I suppose.
I will only leave here my words and my advice. As always, it is on you to find me. I’m right here. Waiting. Right here waiting for you. Helping those of you who want it when they cross my path. The purpose of this was to weigh your soul to determine where you will go into the next life as the system is balanced out in a final version so to speak. Permanent.
Fear not. You will be where your heart truly desires. But actions always speak louder than words. But man made money has no value, nor does any metals, jewels, and so on, so the collection of it in this life has no bearing on the next. Those are all made of the same stardust as you and I. And in the end of 3D it will all be diamonds anyways. Diamond is forever. There is no going back. So what are you hoarding? You cannot keep it. Who could you be helping for goodness sake? Don’t want to still. That is okay. Think I am just crazy. That is okay too. It is all part of the test...err..assessment. Do your best.
What is in your heart?
Home.
I need a home.
Stay tuned as more of my story unfolds. I give all the answers but you must do the work. I already did that hard part setting it all up. All you have to do is breathe and live. Time is the only real currency you have. What will you pay your attention to before this life runs out?

Okay, I'm searching for a web comic I had been into back before my Laptop died, I'd had it bookmarked and was very much into it. My Laptop died well over a year ago and I've been without the internet for a while.
I do not remember the name of the comic (or at least I seem to remember it went through a name change at some point) and I don't remember the artist in particular.
The comic originally started off as a Twitter comic, I think originally it started with the - then main - female character talking directly to the viewer, it expanded from there to a story about a MC in a fantasy world and the story progressed with community interaction where the creator would do a Poll on what choices the characters would make, whether they'd do H-stuff or just have a meal, if I remember correctly it's a fantasy adventure with an Anon MC who is dropped in another world with no memory of how or why it happened, he meets a girl and is "helped" by her but it turns out she's a monster who is either unknowingly or deliberately siphoning off energy from him.
The character design of that woman was of Arabian/Belly Dancer style.
The MC eventually escapes and meets up with a red haired girl that is had the look of a barbarian, they then go on searching for something until they come across the same monstegirl who is obsessed/evil and needs to be defeated in which the MC has a special power that does this.

Sorry about the title didn't really know what to write, but I have something to say about 'recen't events, again, sorry if this sounds mean, but am I the only one getting fed up with how firefly is getting buffed and buffed and loved by the waifu enjoyers? It's getting to the point that I've been wanting to leave the main sub because how much soft-porn fan art of her is shown there and I'm speaking as a pansexual person. I was very neutral towards her in the beginning of everything but the game forcing you to date her is what made me...start disliking her, and when boothill was announced I legit felt bad for him because these so called 'firefly enjoyers' were mad at him for literally no reason? Sure your waifu didn't get announced first but all you gotta do is wait! No need to bring down a character because of it, all of these factors are making me dislike firefly even more it's like there is no escape from this...
And this is not the only thing I'm here to kind of rant about it too, It took one year for us to get a male harmony character, that barely counts because he is the male counterpart of stelle, we literally have mostly female harmony characters compared to ONE, which is caelus. I really wish Hoyoverse started cartering to the male collecting side of the fan base too, just once. Most of the male characters we have right now are DPS or sub-dps...comparing to 2 healers and one harmony, for me as a f2p (even having every single male character in the game) I struggle to make a male-only team because most of the time I need a female character. Hell, I had to roll on sparkle because I don't have bronya.
Look I know Hoyoverse probably carters more to the male fan base because of their waifus and whatnot, but I don't think it would hurt them to make male characters that aren't DPS or Sub-DPS.
I might be too stupid to be thinking these things, but they just make me upset.

TDLR: Ex texted a bestfriend behind my back ending of last year ruining the friendship. Broke up with her, during that time I rekindled with someone else while occasionally texting my ex still not back together. Felt like I missed the warmth of my ex and dropped the new girl going back to my ex fully beginning of this year. Missed the support and love from my ex that I never truly got. Girl told me ex about our dirty laundry, causing trust issues in the whole relationship. Tried fixing them by removing girls, sharing location, etc. I felt scared my ex is gonna get revenge and started being distant at the end which pushed her away as well. We broke up beginning of May this year. I thought we would get back together as always, found out she’s been adding guys she removed a long time ago. I got upset and texted her ugly nasty shit, and texted her dad saying his daughter is a “sl*t” etc. I thought by doing this I’d move on quicker, he told me to leave them alone. I understand I fucked up if I had received a message like this from my daughter ex I’d be fuming too. I want to apologize to the parents for the lack of character I had but feel like it’s too late to backtrack on the stupid shit I said. Am I being selfish by sending a text?
Hello all, This is gonna be long. I really appreciate anyone who takes time to read and help with some words. I have no therapist or friends this seems like the best option.
I have never posted on here but seriously feel torn up. I know that I have been in the wrong in all this but I truly was dealing with a weed addiction till I finally sobered up and realized how fucked I am. This relationship has been a rollercoaster, but something I didn’t want to get off. She showed me many first things and it was my longest relationship of three years. She cared for me when I had no job, to every job, skinny fat, etc and I did the same with her struggles. To make a long story short back in August of 2023 I found my ex texting one of my bestfriends that worked with her at the time(I had quit that spot and found another job). No lust or crazy texts just work laughing but I confronted her about it it was jealousy and she said it was nothing.
After a few weeks come September I kept feeling this jealousy boil over. If she had texted anybody else I wouldn’t have said much but I felt like cause it was MY friend she should have brought up the convo they had even if it was light and funny. I was pestering her about him, she then decided to text him behind my back saying I’m being jealous. They text back and forth and he’s calling me a kid and disrespecting me even though he’s known me for longer, and she was laughing sending him laughing emojis and stuff. He then texted me asking me to fight because somehow she told him I threatened him. I got pissed she ruined a friendship and told her I’m done blocked her on everything. From September to December 2023 I was all alone focused on work and meeting new people. In December I rekindled with a girl I knew no feelings just stupid lust. While talking to the new girl, my ex sends me a heartfelt email since I had blocked her on everything, saying she’s sorry and understands I don’t want to hear from her but wishes me the best. I softened up and began texting her here and there, but still was talking to the new girl.
After a while in Jan/Feb 2024 I met with the girl I had rekindled with and we had done some things. However during this time I started seriously missing my ex and the way I felt comfortable around her. So I was talking to my ex again fully and wanted to make it work again. The problem came when my ex wanted to visit me since she’s long distance. She flew all the way to me and everything was good, till that new girl decided she wasn’t getting my attention anymore and texted my ex lying to her telling her I was begging for her etc. My ex broke down and asked why and I childishly said because of what she had done by texting my bestfriend and that we weren’t together. She cried in my arms and I balled with her cause I truly didn’t want to hurt this girl like this. I offered her to leave me and understood I fucked up. But to my surprise she wanted to stay and asked to fix our trust. I tried my hardest to fix it, I gave her my social passwords, she had my location, everything she wanted she got, even removed all girl friends to gain trust and she removed guys. However after some time around March 2024 I felt like all that I did wasn’t building up that trust again, and I began having flashbacks to trauma where I got left and cheated on within a week. I felt like my ex got back with me to seek revenge. So I started pushing her away scared.
During April she came again to visit me and booked a flight without asking me to pay or anything and genuinely asked to spend every minute of the day with me. I should have taken her coming to see me without me asking as her sign of true love but I ignored it.
Beginning of May 2024 came and our problems began. I started seeing her go out with friends to bars, even to houses I didn’t know and she would take a little longer to respond. I began thinking something is up due to my trauma and started being distant with her. She kept asking me to stop doing this, and cried a few times but I was truly scared of behind hurt and thought by being distant I’m protecting myself. She told me this once and it’s stuck with me “you’re gonna regret doing this”. After that convo she became cold with me too to the point where I didn’t even know who she was anymore. Our final convo was May10. We argued on the phone, and she blamed me for everything, I brought my ex bestfriend and her and how they hurt me she said she had already apologized and I said I did too for cheating but I knew what I did hurt more. She told me to leave her tf alone that I haven’t been the man she needs saying she’s seen better guys treat gfs better etc. That she wants time alone that she wouldn’t go around like I did with girls fucking randoms guys. I blocked her but I genuinely thought we would breakup and get back together as always.
However a week passed and I heard nothing. For some reason I felt like I deserved an apology cause during our arguments I was being more respectful and it felt like she kept saying stuff on purpose to hurt me. I saw she had logged onto my socials and I locked her out and logged out of her accounts cause I felt like it was better. However I was still stalking her Instagram following number and began seeing it go up fast. I started getting guys being suggested to me that follow her and I noticed it was all guys she used to work with and removed for “trust”. I felt broken cause it felt like she did what my first ex with the trauma did , just move on within a week. I felt sad, but the sadness turned to anger. I thought by burning bridges I could move on quicker. And I began blowing her up with calls to no answer, so I switched to texting and said some of the most heinous shit I’ve said to anyone. I then texted her mom telling her her daughter got a new type being childish but nothing too disrespectful to the mom. I texted the dad however and called his daughter names, which he got back at me with a threat and called me childish and that he’s happy his daughter isn’t with someone like me and to lose their numbers. I said lmao cool being even more childish.
I genuinely felt bad the same day I texted the parents this. I felt like bringing them into childish arguments and saying what I said made me look like a true child which I try not to be fast in situations but I was impatient and dumb. I felt like I was the one being stubborn in the relationship and pushed her away, then got upset when she did walk away I just didn’t appreciate her at the end and it hurts my soul I’ve felt this heaviness on my chest ever since like I lost the person for me. I know blaming it on the weed is childish but I feel like it game me that I don’t give a F feeling till it bit me in the ass. I spoke to my only friend and my parents who didn’t even accept the relationship at first due to culture, but they told me I had fucked up and told me with time they will heal, and that in time I can send a message to the parents if I wanted to to get my conscious clear and be able to move on with a better image.
Is it smart to reach back out to the parents to show respect as an adult or just let them be? I know this was a lot but it’s on my heart and brain everyday since. A part of me says apologize in the hopes of getting this girl back one day which I know is selfish, the bigger part of me just hates the image I left of myself cause I have never left a relationship in this manner

Post(s) in Question

Post: https://www.reddit.com/zen/comments/1cx1gjl/what_did_ananda_inherit/
WHAT DID BUDDHA TRANSMIT?
There could hardly be a more definitive or significant question.

Podcast:

Link to episode: https://sites.libsyn.com/407831/5-21-wumenguan-case-22-astroemi
Link to all episodes: https://sites.libsyn.com/407831
Buymeacoffee, so I'm not accused of going it alone:https://www.buymeacoffee.com/ewkrzen

What did we end up talking about?

There wasn't much in the way of translation problems. The last line of the poem was mistranslated (over translated?) by several people. The significance of the case was the main discussion point.
There is also probably a glitch where people talk over each other... it doesn't last.

CHATGPT TRANS:

CASE: Kashyapa and Ananda Ananda asked Kashyapa, "Apart from the robe of golden brocade that the World-Honored One transmitted, what else was passed on?" Kashyapa called out, "Ananda!" Ananda responded, "Yes?" Kashyapa said, "Knock down the flagpole in front of the gate."

Wumen's Instructional comments:

If you can turn the phrase around here, you will see that the assembly on Vulture Peak has not yet dispersed. If not, even the Buddha of Vipaśyin would have to ponder it, yet still not grasp its profundity.

Wumen's Instructional Verse:

How does the question compare to the answer?
How many people are blinded by this?
The elder calls, the younger responds, revealing the family's disgrace,
Beyond yin and yang, there is another spring.

Explaining Yin/Yang symbol's meaning:

The Yin-Yang symbol is tightly connected with the annual cycle of the earth around the sun, and the four seasons resulting from it. To investigate this cycle, the ancient Chinese used a pole that they put up orthogonally to the ground, as shown in Figure 4. With this setup, the ancient Chinese were able to record precisely the positions of the sun’s shadow and divide the year into different sections. They found the length of a year to be about 365.25 days. Furthermore, they divided the circle of the year into segments, including the vernal equinox, autumnal equinox, summer solstice, and winter solstice.
In addition, they used concentric circles around the pole, helping them to record the length of the sun’s shadow every day. As a result, they measured the shortest shadow during the summer solstice, and measured the longest shadow during the winter solstice.** After connecting the measured points and dimming the part that reaches from summer solstice to winter solstice (Yin), they arrived at a chart like the one in Figure 5** [yin/yang symbol].

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Add a comment if there is a post you want somebody to get interviewed about, or you agree to be interviewed. We are now using libsyn, so you don't even have to show your face. You just get a link to an audio call.
I was thinking about the fact that it seems pretty reasonable to call somebody up and talk on the phone about something you talk about on reddit everyday... but some people are nervous about this. Why? It's a phone call. Is it the public nature of the phone call? In a coffee shop it's public too... but it's not scrutinized.
Being wrong... is that the big worry? We all have trouble saying Chinese words, remembering Chinese names, and explaining Zen concepts that the Chinese themselves were uncomfortable with. What's the standard for public conversations when it comes to knowledge? Does that standard mean less people want to talk publicly?

I don't have everything, but I got most of the things from the Dokdo Line + one thing from the Birch Line.
Skin Type: Combination, but easily oily with certain products Environment: Hot, humid
CLEANSING OIL: Dokdo Cleansing Oil - Oh my word. So, 3 nights of using this stuff, and my pores look smaller. I thought I was using it wrong because I wasn't seeing the gritty pieces that people were showing on social media with cleansing oils, but sure enough, my pores look cleaner and smaller after just 3 nights! I was worried it was going to break me out but it didn't. It emulsifies well and it cleans off well with rinsing, even before using a cleanser (which I still recommend). It's supposed to be fragrance-free, but it does contail essential oils, so it does have that essential oil smell to it. It didn't bother me at all, but I wanted to put it out there in case someone is sensitive to it. ✅
CLEANSER: Birch Cleanser - I got this cleanser before I purchased the Dokdo stuff. I'm still using this one. I love how it makes my face feel clean, yet doesn't make it tight or dry. I was actually worried at first whether I was using it correctly because I'm so used to the dry, tight, feeling with cleansers. This is true even after double cleansing with a cleansing oil. My skin still feels supple and moisturized. It is a so it doesn't foam too much like I was expecting Overall, it's a great cleanser. ✅
Dodo Cleanser - I've only tried I've only tried it once because I also have the Birch Cleanser, which I am currently using. However, I do love the overall feel. It makes my face feel squeaky clean, but not tight and dry like most cleansers. It feels supple and moisturized right after, which is also how the Birch Cleanser felt. The only difference is this is more creamy and foams better, whereas the Birch Cleanser is gel and doesn't foam as much. ✅
TONER: Dokdo Toner - Yeahhh... LOVE this toner! I can see why it's supposed to be award winning in Korea. It's like water, and super easy to put on. It is a bit sticky once you put it on (but only for a few seconds to about a minute). If you bear with it for that short of time, your skinjust soaks it up without any sticky residue! It's so lightweight and it's supposed to be a gentle exfoliator. I hate feeling tacky, sticky, or oily and this definitely does not feel like that. It actually feels very refreshing! I love it! ✅
AMPOULE: Dokdo Ampoule - So, I am not a big fan of this. Everthing I mentioned I love about the Dokdo toner...this is the opposite. It's a watery consistency and it applies well...BUT, it is sticky and tacky, and after a few minutes, my entire face is already oily. Unlike the toner, the stickiness never goes away. I put it on one night and woke up with my face oily with little tiny pimples. So, would not at all repurchase this. ❌
MOISTURIZER: Dokdo Lotion - I thought that the ampoule was bad, this one was even worse! It seems lightweight, but it's even tackier and stickier, and trying to sleep with this on at night is a nightmare. My face doesn't feel clean. It is oily a few minutes after applying and ever oilier the next day. It also horrible to layer under my sunscreen. Imagine going out in humid, hot, summer weather and feeling tacky and sticky from your moisturizer. ❌
That said, I know that I'm supposed to wear a moisturizer, but l'm hesistant to try another serum or moisturizer from Round Lab because I really can't handle that sticky feeling. I did get the Dokdo Sleeping Pack, so I'll give that a try. I also got the Neutrogena Hydroboost Water Gel. I know they have a new formulation but I remember the older version feeling lightweight and not making me feel oily.
PURCHASED, YET TO TRY, WILL REVIEW: - Dokdo Sleeping Pack - Dokdo Water Gel Masks - Dokdo Sunscreen - Birch Moisturing Sun Stick

[ Notice: Not my article. Link: https://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/2012/08/here-is-answer-to-comment-that-was-left.html ]
~COMMENT:~ Hello Pearl! I can only thank Jah that i found you! After seventeen years as a JW, i found myself so disturbed and distraught (i.e., sighing and groaning) over what was going on that i just couldn't bring myself to attend the meetings anymore. Prior to my departure, i discerned that much of the Society's liturature was laced with poison so i completely stopped reading any of it and began studying the scriptures only. What a difference that made! While i secretly never agreed with some of the Governing Body's official doctrines, policies and procedures (i viewed them as unscriptural, even idolatrous in some cases), when i realized that they couldn't possibly be the "faithful and discreet slave" (that is a future designation and only Jah/Jesus appoint these individuals, not themselves), I got the last bit of courage needed to finally leave and begin searching. Eventually i found your blog and now check it nearly everyday for any new information. A very close friend of mine who has also left after nearly twenty years as a JW (she just couldn't deal with it emotionally/mentally anymore) also reads your blogs and is as electrified as I am to be finally experiencing the true meaning of the "light getting brighter"!
So here's my question: How do we sound the warning that you mentioned? Since it's likely that no one on the inside will listen, what good will it do? Besides, you said yourself that a Christian is not obligated to sow seed among thorns. So while I have the desire to help others get out of symbolic Jerusalem, I do not know how to go about it nor do i see any point in it. Simply mentioning that i was no longer attending meetings (besides making a brief comment about the hypocrisy in the congregation) was enough for one person --someone i considered a good friend previously--to immediately cease all association with me. Thus, even hinting at the idea that the Organization is not all that its cracked up to be will send 99.9% of 'em running with their thumbs in their ears! Please advise. Thank You!
~REPLY:~ I also, am greatly relieved to hear that you have found the truth, which I myself am so grateful to YHVH's spirit for. There are those who read it and recognize none of the truth of the cited scriptures...and then there are expressions like yours, which reveal eyes and ears that are open, and a consciousness of their spiritual poverty (Matt.5:3). This need is keen during this spiritual famine and drought (Amos 8:11; Rev.6:6; 18:8; 12:14)...yet the spiritual pestilence that strikes others with blindness and an inability to hear, keeps them sick and unaware of their dire need (Matt.13:15; Rev.3:17; 6:8). The senseless are the ~great~ ~majority~ (Matt.7:13,14; Luke 13:23,24; Matt.24:22; Ps.94:17,5,8,12,13,14,16,18,20,22,23,20, 21; Rev.20:9,7,8,9; 13:15; 11:7; 6:9,11). So to hear that my labors, (and that of other faithful) are reaching some, is of great refreshment, and relief to my grief (Matt.10:42).
The Bible reads; "But God also rescued Lot out of Sodom because he was a righteous man who was sick of the shameful immorality of the wicked people around him. Yes, Lot was a righteous man who was tormented in his soul by the wickedness he saw and heard day after day. So you see, the Lord knows how to rescue godly people from their trials, even while keeping the wicked under punishment until the day of final judgment." 2Pet. 2:7-9 (Eze.9:4)
"The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." 2Chron. 16:9 A
We see from these three scriptures that Yhwh will not abandon those whose heart is exclusively devoted to Him. He delivers them by His strength (2Chron. 16:9). His Spirit can bring them to the truth (John 6:44; 14:6) as He does for each faithful anointed one, as well as all those who may accept the "fine fruit" the faithful witnesses offer (Matt.10:40,41,42; Matt.7:20; Rev.11:3,4).
Regarding your question, Yhwh has begun to make me aware of what I must do, as well as how to do it. You are right that God's "Land" must be warned (Jer.25:30,29; Rev.2:20; 13:14). It is true that Satan has erected a wall around God's people. It would seem impossible to penetrate that wall with the judgment message. Remember the wall of Jericho? That prophecy will be fulfilled in its grandest meaning, in our very day (Josh.6:8,13; Rev.8:6). I am going to ask everyone whose heart inclines him to obey Eze.33:7,8 to be a part of the upcoming universal witness. For, it is the final one to be given. I am talking to another anointed one about how Holy Spirit is guiding this final warning. I will most certainly post all the details, as we become certain of how to do this in harmony with Yhvh's approval. The wall of Jericho fell, partly due to the blowing of the 7 horns of the priests (Joshua 6:8). This final wall of false teachings, which holds captive God's Called Ones, falls by the same means, as symbolized in Revelation (Rev.8:6). "Whether they hear, or whether they refrain" the warning must be given (Eze.2:5). This warning will be the main tool used to harvest the remaining wheat of anointed, upon which the arrival of the Kingdom awaits (Rev.14:14,15,16; 6:11). It is a very important activity, and I hope everyone possible will offer themselves to support it. The lives of those whom we regard as our "brothers and sisters", as well as the anointed who are still asleep and in chains, hangs in the balance. In fact it would be good to consider all of Ezekiel chapter 2, because it brings up the very "thorns" you mention.
Eze.2:1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10: And he said to me, “Son of man, stand on your feet, and I will speak with you.” And as he spoke to me, the Spirit entered into me and set me on my feet, and I heard him speaking to me. And he said to me, “Son of man, I send you to the people of Israel, to nations of rebels, who have rebelled against me. They and their fathers have transgressed against me to this very day. The descendants also are impudent and stubborn: I send you to them, and you shall say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God.’ And whether they hear or refuse to hear (for they are a rebellious house) they will know that a prophet has been among them. And you, son of man, be not afraid of them, nor be afraid of their words, ~though briers and thorns are with you and you sit on scorpions.~ (Rev.9:3; Eze.2:6) Be not afraid of their words, nor be dismayed at their looks, for they are a rebellious house. And ~you shall speak my words to them, whether they hear or refuse to hear~, for they are a rebellious house. But you, son of man, hear what I say to you. Be not rebellious like that rebellious house; open your mouth and eat what I give you.” And when I looked, behold, a hand was stretched out to me, and behold, a scroll of a book was in it. And he spread it before me. And it had writing on the front and on the back, and there were written on it words of lamentation and mourning and woe." (Rev.8:13; 20:12)
So while we are not obligated to cast pearls before swine; we need to discern who those swine, dogs, "~thorns~" and "scorpions" are. https://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/2013/06/dogs.html YHVH tells us in Rev.9:3,5,7.These are the ones bearing what seems like "crowns" of authority, an army that goes forth as multitudinous as a locust swarm. Their target? The "unsealed men", anointed previous to their being sealed. Why unsealed? Because they are obviously still under the domination of these "Locust/Scorpions" instead of Yhvh. Only by being set loose (Rev.9:14) from this smoke-like river of Satan's sons and their lies (Rev.12:15; 9:11; John 8:44; 2Thess. 2:3,9; Rev.12:3,9; 13:1,14,6); can these chosen ones become sealed as loyal to Yhvh (Rev.20:4). Yet we see from Eze.2 that a witness still has to be given to the "rebellious house". ~This is the light,~ although these empowered Locust/Scorpions exist, we may not conclude that all "Jehovah's Witnesses" are these "thorns". Only the elders are depicted as having counterfeit crowns of authority. These ones are the "thorns" and "scorpions". Yhvh tells us that they are beyond conversion to truth, by the "breastplates of iron" which they wear (Rev.9:9). While the entire "house"/"land"/"fold" of God's people are blinded by these insect vessels of darkness (Rev.9:2,3; Jer.25:29,30; Rev.12:16) and it causes them to leave loyalty to Yhvh; not all are those insects of authority/elders. We can not condone the idolatry of "Jehovah's Witnesses", nor continue to remain in company with them (Psalm 26:4; 1Cor. 5:11; Rev.18:4). But Ezekiel chapter 2 is clear, we must witness to them this final warning.
Jesus clearly showed me that the great majority will not heed the warning, not because we did not reach them with it, but due to their own hardened hearts, they stand as judged. Yhvh abandons them to their own desire. (Luke 17:28-37 LINK; 2Thess. 2:11; Ps.94:23) I hope you can see why this warning needs to be given. It saves us individually from blood-guilt. It establishes Yhvh's justice in condemning the wicked (who were first given warning). It saves those who can hear. It seals the rest of those who prove faithful, as well as the unfaithful "ten kings" who side with the Beast. All extremely important events of prophecy! I hope all who possibly can, will help. As I said, I will post details as they are established.
Your comments about the reaction of those marked by the Beast, help to illuminate the true identity of the Organization within prophecy. There is no other authority and power on earth, that has this control over people's minds and actions, as does this Wild Beast of Rev.13:8,15,16. We are seeing the fulfillment of that prophesied displaced loyalty and worship of the Wild Beast, right before our own eyes! God's Kingdom draws near!
https://4womaninthewilderness.blogspot.com/2013/05/warning-letter.html
Pearl's letter and Obadiah's letter

Have always done a standard AST with professionals that stay a long time. Its a nice place in SW and the last tenant of 4 years decided to move so Ive relisted the property again. This time though there has been an influx enquiries about about corporate leases. Its gotten to a point that I get more corporate requests for a rent-to-rent agreement than normal AST ones.
They are usually from very young tenants. They, or their business partner, would want a long lease, under a newly incorporated firm, and offer to refurbish the place. I've rejected the lot because I am uncertain of the agreements, it sounds idealistic, and the pitfalls around rent recovery in the event of default.
I know about the property influencers promoting this scheme, but am generally surprised at how pervasive it is.

I met them at a point in my life when I was finally gaining confidence, seeking help, taking care of my appearance and hanging out w/ friends.
When we met on an app, it was like reuniting with an old friend, we just clicked immediately. We had the same humor, interests, mindset, and taste in music. We would spend hours sharing Elden Ring memes, and I made them fanart for their bday.
I was convinced that for the first time in my life I could possibly get a chance to be loved. the two months we spent together were the best in my opinion. It felt so good to be with someone so handsome, and such a great personality too.
There were times when I told him that I was so grateful to have met such a wonderful person, and in return I was told that I was the only person who responded on the app. I ignored it, because I kept thinking that he also found me attractive as well.
Then May 2023 came around, he came by after not seeing me for a week, I missed them so much and work at the time was really getting me down due to an ab*sive boss.
He told me that he didn't feel a "spark" for weeks...that they needed to move on to better options, at one point they felt the same but they decided that they never felt anything for me. I had a panic attack and cried so much. It was the same day that my boss told me that I wasn't good enough, and to come home and be told that was overwhelming.
I tried to express how I felt, but I couldn't because I cried so much. He left me sobbing on my apt floor, 5 minutes late I heard my bell ring and I jumped up assuming it as all fake but instead there was a cop there.
I was being recorded on a body cam and beyond humiliated, because in all the times I tried to make memories for us with pictures and museum trips, this was the only time I was recorded.
I never forgot, but I know for sure that you found that better option. You're most likely with your dream girl and my pain was worth it, I know I've been forgotten.

i have been dating my NP for three years and i have also had a super slow burn thing going with another person, we will call sam
sam and i have known each other for going on two years, met on tinder and went on dates but didn’t kiss or escalate anything more until about three months ago. we hung out consistently though before that. my NP and i had plans to move across country at the end of may and i finally opened up about my feelings toward sam and they felt the same and things escalated from there. we have talked about deep feelings between us and plan to find a way to continue our relationship even when i move
sam and my NP have always gotten along and we have had tons of group hang outs, though they only had one 1/1 hangout until recently. one night, sam and i had sex and my NP overheard and that led to discussions of a possible threesome. NP and sam started hanging out 1/1 and kissed pretty quickly. i felt hurt because it took so so long for sam and i to reach that point and it just seemed so much easier for the two of them to get there. i was open about my feelings and both partners responded great and helped me see so many other factors that played into that, but i have had such a hard time letting it go. i’ll have periods of feeling good about everything, but when they make progress my first response is always hurt. my NP and i also ended up delaying our move to further explore this thing between the three of us, and that did help the pressure of time constraints i was feeling
two nights ago we had a threesome. it was great for the most part, but again i struggled seeing how free sam seemed with my NP. after a while i tapped out but gave consent for them to continue. but as it started happening without me the hurt feelings came up again. again we all talk after and it feels better, but there continues to be a lingering anxiety for me.
last night sam stayed over and we all slept together but didn’t have sex. then this morning when i went to work, they ended up having sex. cue the hurt feelings. sam and i don’t have sex that often, many times we just cuddle or talk the whole time. how can i stop comparing their milestones/dynamics to sam and mine? things seem to flow much easier for them and i want to move past my insecurities but every time i think i do, something happens between them and im back to feeling insecure and anxious. and almost a sense of betrayal? i feel like such a downer to the relationship between the three of us and i can feel that it is causing me to hold back with sam in our relationship and causing guilt for my NP and i hate that. how can i learn to let go of some of these feelings?

Hello all -- first time poster here. Sorry for the really long post, I guess part of this is therapeutic for me just to write out.
I've really been struggling recently, as my wife has come to absolutely despise by 67 year old mother, and I'm not sure if there's anything that can fix it.
A little bit of my history. I've always been very close with my family. I grew up in a south Asian household (although I always felt we integrated nicely with a lot of American culture -- both me and my sibling have lived in a large US city our entire lives and consider ourselves American both in culture as well as nationality). However, as in many Asian cultures, respect for elders is extremely important. I always had a parent-child relationship with my parents (meaning that they were in charge, and not interested in being my friend, but rather my mentors and provided invaluable guidance over the years). Both of my parents sacrificed a lot for me and mysibling, but especially my mom who chose to forgo advancing her own career, and to work part time in order to raise my sibling and I. I've always had a good relationship with my mom, although we've had our share of fights over the years (we're both pretty stubborn), but they typically last no more than a 3-5 days on average and then things are completely back to normal. I would say this happens an average of 1-2 times per year at most. I do feel very close with my mom (& my dad as well, but my wife doesn't seem to have any issues with my dad so I'm not focussing on that part). I do believe that much of the success I have achieved in life is directly attributable to the sacrifices my mom made as well as the time she spent raising and teaching me. I have always respected my parents, which is typical of Asian culture. By respect, I mean things like not talking back, valuing their opinions, and trying to make their life easier or happier in small ways (visiting them on weekends, going out to dinner together -- we live roughly 40 minutes apart).
A bit of my wife's history -- she grew up with her parents being divorced from a young age. Both of her parents are wonderful people who I really adore, but they were extremely lenient with her growing up (they were not on top of her with regards to schoolwork, she would talk back to them at times without getting in much trouble, she was able to sneak out of her house as a teen, etc.). These are by no means egregious offenses, and I suspect many kids do the same at that age. However, there was a clear difference in her relationship with her parents -- there was no real enforcement of rules or punishment for breaking rules. Through my lens, it seems that this has manifested as a lack of respect for her own parents, as well as her elders. She mostly has a good relationship with both of her parents, but when she does disagree with them, she talks to them in ways I could never imagine speaking to my own parents (talks back, hangs up on them, etc.). She says that she needs to "put them in their place" at times, which I also find rude. Overall, I would say she grew up much less "family-oriented" than I did, for what it's worth.
My wife is also somewhat of a nomad (mostly not by choice). She moved a few times growing up (within the same state, but different areas), and then went out of state for college, only to leave after 1.5 years and finish at a local state school (in a different state) where her mother lived at the time. Because of this, she has very few close friends, and the ones that she does have are spread out all across the country on different coasts. This is in stark contrast to me. I've been lucky to maintain the same group of friends that I've had since we were 8 or 9 years old. On top of that, most of them have stayed in the same area that we grew up in (where my wife and I now live). I think the lack of a social circle has affected my wife since she moved to my city, but I'm not sure what solution there is for that since there is no city we could live in where she would have a group of close friends or family (her parents live in different states and split time between different states, her 3 closest friends live in 3 different states).
I've known my wife for 8 years and we've been married for 2.5. I love her. She is a great person; she is kind, compassionate, loving, and at her core truly does care deeply about others (though I feel that this does not always come across in the way she talks to her own parents). She's funny, adventurous, and up until recently, I was always happier around her. We were recently blessed with the birth of our son, who is now 11 months old. Our son is the best thing that has ever happened to us, but his arrival seems to have simultaneously strained our relationship in ways I did not anticipate. I knew that the sleep deprivation would be hard, and our lives would change drastically. What I did not envision was a deepening hatred that my wife has developed for my mom.
Prior to the birth of our son, my wife did not have much of an issue with my mom other than thinking she was "needy" for wanting to see myself and my sibling once a week, even if it was just for a dinner (again, we live roughly 40 minutes apart, and my parents are typically willing to drive to us, meet us at a restaurant, or have us over). My mom does tend to be picky with where we eat out (she doesn't eat most meat, and prefers vegetarian options), but that never really bothered me, though it seems to bother my wife that my mom is "getting her way", even though this was at most 1 meal in the week.
I know that my mom can certainly be stubborn and hard to deal with at times, but I know her very well, and I always felt that she was inclusive of my wife, and never did anything that warranted being strongly disliked. The one exception to this was during our son's baby shower. We had planned a large party with a lot of family and friends that my parents hosted (their house is large enough to accomodate a party of that size). During the baby shower, my mom helped arrange catering of food, ordering tables, chairs, tablecloths, and hiring a bartender (my parents also paid for all of this). My wife did not like my mom's taste with regards to tablecloths and chair decorations and she was irritated that my mom wanted to help and be involved in the planning (though to her credit, my wife did not outwardly show this discontent to my mom, though it was certainly made known to me). My wife handled the floral arrangements and other decorative pieces such as a backdrop, and spent a lot of time and effort getting them exactly how she wanted. I kind of sensed that my mom felt that she was being taken for granted and underappreciated by my wife (she did take care and pay for a lot), and my wife felt that my mom was being overbearing with planning, and also felt that my mom was purposefully spiteful (my wife claims that every other member of my family commented on how nice the floral arrangements were, but my mom never did). This culminated in a "fight" where my wife wanted a decorative piece in one part of the yard and my mom wanted it in another part. There was some exchange of words at the time, though I did not witness this. This left my mom feeling that my wife was "disrespectful" and left my wife hating my mom for not honoring her decision about where to place the decorative piece, since this was her baby shower. This led to a very upsetting experience for my wife and I as we really did not enjoy the baby shower at all (although this was not evident to our guests or other family members, as we were able to "fake it"). My wife was particularly upset after the baby shower when we drove home since she felt that it was supposed to be a special day for her, and my mom ruined it, which I mostly agreed with. To her credit, my mom did apologize to both my wife and me the following day, and told us that she had been under a lot of stress with many family members staying at their house, taking care of meals, sleeping arrangements, etc., and her stress got the better of her. I was willing to accept her apology and move on, but my wife has always held a grudge since that time, and feels that the apology wasn't genuine. Again, I've known my mom for a long time and she would rather not apologize at all than do so disingenuously. My wife however insists that she can read my mom better than me, since I'm biased. Nonetheless, we moved forward.
After the birth of our son, my parents and my wife's parents were overjoyed (he is all of their first grandchild). Again, we live near where I grew up so my parents are much closer to us than my wife's parents are. After the birth of our son, my wife's mom rented a place near us for 4 months to help with the baby and chores, etc. I never had any issue with this, even when she would come over multiple times a day, or even unannounced at times (this was not something that bothered me). My parents were (& are) also very eager to spend time with their grandchild, and initially were coming over every other day to see the baby, which then decreased to about twice a week, since he has been 3 months old. My wife has begun having major issues with my parents coming to see our son twice a week now. Perhaps what is most irritating to me is the fact that I anticipated this issue beforehand. I specifically asked my wife when our son was 1 or 2 months old "how often would you be okay with my parents coming to see him?", and her answer was "I would be so happy if it was just twice a week", (which she felt would be a huge improvement over the every other day they were initially coming when our son was a newborn). I assured her that twice a week was very reasonable and she said she'd be happy with that.
Fast forward to now -- my mom comes to visit twice a week for 3-4 hours and my wife says its too much. She says it's suffocating, that she shouldn't have to live her life around my mom seeing our son (which my wife does not, she always tells my mom which days to come, and they are different each week depending on what my wife wants to do), that she feels like she had a kid just for my mom to play with. Again, my mom is never insistent on what days or even times to see our son. She certainly appreciates seeing him regularly, and I always wanted my son to have a close relationship with his grandparents (both sides), as both myself and my wife did growing up. However, my wife's parents do not live near us (and don't come to visit that often). I think this plays a role in terms of her being irritated that my family sees him regularly, but I don't see any solution. Her family is financially able to visit us (very regularly) if they wanted to, but they don't make it a priority. Again, her parents are wonderful people, but they seem to be more interested in their own lives and relationships than they are in forging a deep connection with our son, their grandson (I'm not saying there is anything wrong with it, but it's the opposite of my family who really want to be close with their grandson, even if it's at the expense of time with their own friends).
I should also add that for the past 3 years my wife has not worked. This started prior to us getting married. She left her job because she hated it, and I am lucky to be in a position to financially support us on my own. However, she always told me she would (& wanted to) get a job in a field that she was more interested in, though she has never been able to articulate what that field would be (actually she was adamant that she would have a job before we got married). I tried to encourage her to find fields that appealed to her, even advised her to take risks with entrepreneurship, to see if she could make a career out of something she considers a hobby. I've paid for countless courses, certifications, etc. (90% of which she did not complete -- things like real estate certifications, social media certifications, photography lessons, camera lenses, etc.). Furthermore, I paid for her to see a therapist of her choosing for a few months hoping it would help her gain clarity with regards to what she wants to do career-wise (it did not). All in all, I've probably spent in the neighborhood of 7-8K on online courses, certifications, and she does not have anything to show for it. Once we got pregnant, we agreed that she would take on more of a domestic role (which is what she said she wanted as well, I did not force her into this -- and she was also not doing anything else for work anyway). The point I'm making here is not that I feel she needs to work, it is just that she gets to see our son all the time (it's not like she's going to work and handing our son off to my mom). Also, many times my wife will say "Oh why don't you come on Monday" when we see my mom (which my mom will then do). Then Monday rolls around and my wife is texting me at work all day constantly complaining about how my mom is interacting with our son (she doesn't watch him closely enough, or she doesn't put him in his crib to nap, or she feeds him when she's not supposed to, etc.), how long my mom is staying, how she feels trapped in the house when my mom is there, etc. She basically wants my mom to come over for no more than 2 hours and then leave (again we live about 40 minutes apart).
This issue she has with my mom seeing our son a couple of times a week for a few hours, has started to cause bigger and bigger fights between us. Part of me understands that my wife's lack of her own social circle of close friends, and not having family nearby is contributing to her unhappiness with our current situation. But the other part of me can't help but feel like I've done everything in my power to help, and it feels that she is just complaining about my mom because she's unhappy with where she is in life. I have tried helping her find a career that she would like, I have tried telling her she can remain a stay at home mom if she wants, I have tried getting her a therapist to help her work through her issues, I have tried encouraging her to join mom & baby classes to meet new friends (which she now attends, but hasn't made any real friends during them), I have offered to joint local couples meetups with her to meet new friends if that would make her more comfortable, I have encouraged her to invite the few local friends she does have over for dinner or even go out with them while I watch the baby, I have offered to move to a part of the city that is even further from my parents, and I've even offered to move cities altogether to be closer to her own family (although her family does not reside in just 1 city, they split time between a few). I've also told her to voice her issues to my mom and hash out whatever the issues are, but she says my mom will see it as disrespectful and "make things even more awkward" (which may in fact be true, but in that case I've told her we would just see my mom less, which is what she wants anyway...). Each time I suggest something, I feel that it is met with resistance or some excuse as to why it won't work (for instance when I suggest moving cities, she says no because I'll "use that against her" in the future if we fight). I'm just not sure where I can take it from here. I'm sure couples counseling has to be a part of the solution in some way, but I'm not sure what they are going to be able to offer that I haven't already tried.
I guess I'm just looking for advice. My guess is my wife wants me to just straight up tell my mom she can't come over twice a week anymore (but I could see my wife having a problem even if it was just once a week), for no good reason. My mom has no idea my wife despises her, and me just randomly telling my parents they can't come over anymore for no apparent reason would cause a rift between me & them. I love my parents and they're only getting older. They're not going to live forever, and I would feel awful if I told them they just can't come to see their grandson because my wife doesn't like my mom for no particularly legitimate reason.
Thanks in advance to whoever read through this, and for whatever advice you can provide.
TLDR - I feel like I've bent over backwards to make my wife happy but she still has a major issue with my mom that I don't know how to resolve.

Hi all. I'm at my wits end in trying to decipher what's happening in my brain, so i figured I'd stop here and see if anyone has any idea what is going on so I can bring it to a doctor. I am autistic, and maybe that can account for some of the irregularities, but I can't find any medically backed articles about how it can affect dissociative disorders so I'm not sure.
--I (18f) began experiencing heavy dissociative tendencies a few years ago. I can't remember anything from 2021, I only recall half of 2020, and little portions before 2022. Before that, my childhood memories are extremely spotty. I remember certain events, (like moving states) but other seemingly major events are missing from my memory (when my sister was born, starting school in the new state, etc) I will say I had what I think was a rather traumatic childhood by most standards, but I'm somewhat detached from it. I couldn't remember several childhood events before 2020 as well.
--as of recently (2021) the noticable dissociation has gotten worse. I don't know if it's because something happened, or I've had more time to myself after leaving school, but it's extremely apparent in day to day life. The problem is the symptoms keep changing and I can't remember 70% of the 'episodes' (I guess I'll call them) enough to describe them. I have dissociative amnesia (buying things from stores I don't recall going to, completing entire shifts at my job and not realizing it, being unable to remember entire people or important conversations) but more often than not it's emotional amnesia, which makes trying to solve this harder. I don't remember how I feel the moment I 'snap out of it'. It feels like there are different versions of me, but I wouldn't go so far as to call them alters- and as I'll get in to, I don't fit that criteria.
--very occasionally, I dissociate and try to injure myself. It feels less like me doing it and more like someone is puppetting me to do dangerous and risky things for no real reason. I won't go into depth, but I will say these things have caused me to be sick for several days and I have over 100 scars from these takeovers. It feels like somebody is trying to kill me, and if what I have is OSDD/DID that doesn't make sense. The alters are supposed to protect you. This feels inherently malicious, I feel like I'm being possessed.
--sometimes when I dissociate it's extremely distressing, I feel like I'm drowning and can't swim, I can't talk or hardly move and I'm scared I'll do something I don't want to do. Occasionally, like last night (which is what drove me to make this post) it's calming and almost comforting.
--my worldview shifts too, but is rarely consistent with patterns that alters would have. Sometimes I feel like an animal trapped in a human husk, desperate to claw my way out and withdrawal from society. I can't recognize myself in mirrors and I bite my arms. It's extremely distressing, I'd even go far enough to say it's like body dysmorphia but for being in a human body. Sometimes I feel incredibly human and am rather comforted by it. Sometimes I'm extremely pessimistic or nihilistic for no good reason, and sometimes I'm the most optimistic person I know. It seems to switch on a dime and I don't get it.
--like I sais, I don't think I have alters. not only are the dissociative states too inconsistent, but I don't have any of the hallmark traits that come with having alters (going by different names, changing clothes, different handwriting etc) still, every time I talk about these symptoms someone points me to OSDD/DID. I don't think it's that and I don't want it to be that. Maybe that makes me immature, I don't know.
-- I understand dissociative disorders are not well understood even by the scientific community and it can vary, but the last time I went to the doctor with a mental ailment and didn't have 287364737 pages worth of symptoms for a problem I suspected they turned me away at the door. So any suggestions would be greatly appreciated :]