Successor : u/Intel81994
Hi,
I first found this subreddit and Neville's works in 2018 so I thought I'd share my success/experiences.
I've never posted here, only lurked... daily. I often see people post tiny wins in here like manifesting a test result or a few hundred dollars. I don't see many huge wins except occasionally, or multi-year life changing creations.
Well, I'm not where I want to be bc my goals have gotten a lot bigger, but I've come a long way and finding this work in 2018 changed my life so I want to share with you how.
Not to discourage, but small wins are nothing compared to the deep life changes and incredible abundance you can create in knowing who you really are - just think - there are people out there, several, who own $10M+ houses, multi-millionaires, many came from nothing.
I'm not saying that's the only thing worth striving for or even the source of joy, of course. But my point is anything you want, someone else out there has done it, they are just humans like myself and you.
So here's how my life turned around since 2018 and what I created. The HOW I did so is no different than what you already read on this sub every day.
Neville has been my favorite teacher and this is the MAIN sub I have read over the last few years. I own all of his books and have read them several times.
I regard his methods as most influential for me. This may come off as some motivational story but truth is I use Neville's methods daily and always try to understand and control my beliefs to grow.
Here is how my life changed completely after DOING the work:

• MONEY/TRAVEL : I went from -50k in debt running my own online fitness coaching business at my lowest point not knowing how I would pay rent (long story but I was young and not skilled enough in business at this time to really build a team and 7 figure business like I wanted),

to acquiring amazing skills being an intrapreneur working in a small startup online with a terrific mentor (I manifested this exact position with SATS), traveled the world a crazy amount in the exact places I had wanted to and met a ton of cool people (SATS), over 27 countries now, and grew my net worth to over 250k from 2018-2021.
To my current goals, this is really nothing now and I now surround myself with people doing a ton more than me. So I'm not preaching here, it's just levels to the game right.
I now work professionally in the crypto industry, but also have skills and knowledge to a few types of online businesses in the consulting & marketing space, as well as make money from markets/trading, which is a great vehicle because there are effectively no limits.
I can live anywhere I want, have plenty of cushion and money to live mostly how I want (have larger goals now), have time freedom as well, and most of all, love growth and feel great striving for more. I did SATS to get my current gig.
I've also been trading the last 2 years and no it's not easy, in fact you're competing against algorithms and the best minds in the world so the learning curve is quite steep.
Trading is not easy money, but the potential is there. Besides, trading is just one vehicle, it's not value-additive to the market like businesses are, so I believe it's best used in conjunction with a business/job, and investing longer term is better.
Anyway I turned <40k into ~350K in crypto, and a separate stock portfolio last year.
And yes a lot of that crypto growth was market timing and luck with everything going on, monetary policy and all, and I know people who turned less into several million and also plenty who got liquidated and lost millions. I still spent a lot of time and skill to create that, point is I created all of it in various forms.

• FITNESS/HEALTH: I achieved a more fit and better body than 98% of men have. This was a result of hard work plus these methods and was in 2018 when I decided to undergo a bodybuilding prep for a photoshoot. Great size, leanness, abs, I had been lifting for years but never gotten this in shape.

It was not easy, but I looked incredible, and the exact city/water background scene I had visualized for the photos happened. You can scroll to my IG posts from early 2018 for pics proof.
My health is impeccable and I've for sure made other physical changes, and I think I somehow changed my gf's looks to become better over time too. She was always quite cute though. I'm still very much in shape but now do yoga daily for last few years, as well as lifting.

• LOCATION/LIVING: I manifested the EXACT view I used to visualize in the center of my major city, with a gorgeous view of the ocean and city both, for a great price and have lived here for last 3 years now. In a luxury high rise. I can see ships and yachts right outside my balcony every day. It's literally grander than I even knew to imagine just 5 years ago.
  
• MORE FINANCE: Over the last 2 years my investments and more were doing so well sometimes - not always - that I often was able to have some months making 20-40k, point is I was not worried about work.
  

I also believe parallel realities are real and I used to visualize Bitcoin going to 50k back in 2019 when it had stayed below <10k for 2 years. This was not all due to bitcoin, but rather all sorts of investments, but yes crypto as well.
Some was luck, some was skill and work. All was my creation. I also got quite decent at trading and managing a portfolio that I not only managed to publicly call the exact day of the market TOP in november 2021 but also sniped the bottom in July. Intuition plus knowledge.
So I kept this money, it is not bleeding out in my portfolio with the market. I've devoted a LOT into mastering this craft but again, self concept and Neville helped.
I got hacked for 60k-70k a few months back and chose to give it new meaning and manifested a career change to crypto industry, landing a position making over 10k per month (I'm not happy with this at my current standards of income, but I'm grateful), that I am growing to 20k per month of active income now with other streams.
What's interesting in my recent career manifestation is I decided I want a position that basically pays me to do what I already do (I was independently researching and managing a multi-6 figure crypto portfolio... over a quarter million dollars combined money that I was managing. )
I now get paid a full time 6 fig salary to do nothing extra from what I was already doing and barely work on the actual job with plenty of time for other stuff.
I just decided it was done and that's it. Also of course it's remote... knowing what I know, I will only consider remote jobs (never worked in a physical office and I've actually never had a w2 job before this, always doing sales and stuff or my own thing).
I have been working on increasing my standard to 25k per month minimum of active income generation. Had a lot of ideas come through. I’m just not the type to have a job I think but I have to figure out what I can build again.
Compared to who I want to be at a later date that’s also nothing much. Again, levels to the game.
Now also working on growing a business in this space. This hack event was pretty traumatic but I now see how I 100% manifested it. And I can choose to also create something far greater out of the event now.
With every job I've ever had, I've never worked in an office. I've only ever been remote or online because this is the only thing I was willing to accept. Being a digital nomad has been my norm since I graduated college.
Be specific in what you want and do not settle.
I went to a top 5 US public university and even manifested myself to lead a large pre-med club on campus (I was a pre med student) before I knew Neville. I'm now very glad I chose to go my own route instead of medicine for several reasons beyond scope of this post but anyway.

• SP: Manifested my SP (gf) back in 2018 and we have a great relationship going on 6 years now (together since 2016). I focus more on self love and feeling I AM God rather than seeking it externally. My consciousness and inner connection is my source of sustenance.
  
• Honestly there are so many other crazy little things I can't possibly keep track. Every day I have synchronicities like crazy still. I don't give them much meaning but just take it to mean that I am aligned.
  

My best mental model/tips

• Delude yourself into knowing that imagination is MORE real than the 3d. The 3d is 'old news.' Meaning it's a shadow world. The real creation is happening in your imagination, and there is a time lag in this physical world.

Live in your imagination and tune out anything that does not serve keeping you in an optimal state where you feel in control. The more you focus on things that are meant to distract you or displease you, which state do you create from?

• I do SATS during the day, works fine for me, I don't think it matters much if day/night, but you need to do it. Follow a guided hypnosis session to get deeper into trance first if it helps.
  
• Act and trust deeply that life is leading you to what you want, and the meaning you give to events is literally what molds your future. Choose empowering meanings. Stop being a victim.
  

Make a resolve to never think of yourself as a victim of forces out there, the economy, evil people, whatever it is. You want to control your reality then act like it internally.

• Make a daily routine checklist and stick to it so you internally feel in control of your reality. Mine is: SATS or revision, meditate or breathwork, EFT or writing, cold shower, no phone in the morning, wake at 6am, and of course I exercise daily in some form. I use a spreadsheet to make sure I hit my routines for the day so I don't be a victim but rather stay in control. This is critical for me.
  
• As long as you occupy the realms of consciousness that you want, the result WILL come via downloads and hunches and thoughts, and insane physical things will happen that will 'seem like it would have happened anyway' so don't worry about the how.
  

Random Musings
The thing with manifesting is we sometimes take a passive route and wait for things to happen to us (and sure this is fine and still works), but think- if you don't grow your mental, emotional, skills container to deal with large amounts of money, or a team, or skills to sell and market and manage money... if you suddenly get 500K or 1M, how are you going to hold on to it?
If you lack personal power and execution skills, say you suddenly win 5M from the lottery, do you have the skills to keep it and make decisions at a level that can fluctuate several millions? It's stressful and requires thinking completely differently.
You have to 'stress test' your consciousness and expand your container.
I know that because I got hacked (stolen) ~70k it means nothing because the version of me who makes multi-7 figures a year deals with fluctuations of multi-6 figures in his portfolio all the time, it's part of the game. and I HAVE dealt with 6 figure fluctuations in my portfolio before this hack so it wasn't super new in that sense.
You know time is not real, it's all happening now, Creation is already finished, so you should also know that the way to 'hack' time is making decisions from a place of the future version of yourself you already are.
Make a commitment to stop playing small and settling for crumbs. Why would you get hung up on the one limited way your ego thinks that abundance has to manifest in your life, or love, instead of just feeling the emotions themselves, knowing it's done, and letting your life color it in in grander ways than you could have imagined.
Funny little manifestations and things happen literally every day that I just take it as reflections of me being in my creative power.
Something crazy/funny that happened was on our last trip, I told my girlfriend 'hey, how funny and weird would it be to see a parrot meowing?' - then next day we sit at a cafe and there is a parrot in a cage outside, meowing loudly. The most bizarre manifestation, I didn't even intend for it, just asked hey would it not be funny. Things like this happen so often, I can't keep track.
There is nothing new to learn. Just do the techniques and do self care rituals and get lost in your work. Feel the feeling of utter abundance and freedom now and it will happen.
We live in an advanced economy with the internet, it has never been easier to start or fund a business compared to even 50 years ago (see interest rates), distribution has never been easier, so if you know these tools, why would you not create the biggest dream you can imagine? Why settle for a free $200?
I realize there are levels people go through however so I don't mean to belittle, but now that I have been through so much and grown, I know there is nothing separating myself from multi millions and VC's and creators of large companies except belief, work, and time in this reality.
I have the knowledge, belief, and skills to not need a job if I don't want one. I can instead offer something to the market and be independent.
I'm telling you this stuff works and is sustainable. You can be as specific as you want and get whatever you want, and trust that with the turns life takes you through, it is a BRIDGE meant to turn you into the person to get and sustain what you say you want. Decide it and it is so.
I am someone who is a first generation American immigrant, my parents moved to the US from India when I was 5 and we had very little here. I grew up 'lower' middle class, and didn't have the best money programming from parents, but I always did well in school.
I KNOW I am going to be the first multi millionaire in my family. It's all in how you think about yourself/self concept and the work you do from that mindset. Do actions and shift your environment in accordance with who you want to be.
I always splurge on self care now and do things like fly business class or pay more for a better room because that's who I internally am. Just find a way to produce more and let it flow instead of shrinking yourself to be someone you’re not in your 4D
I don't try to scrimp and penny pinch, I let money flow. Even though getting stolen 70k was traumatic, oh well, I chose to give it a better, empowering meaning and my reality shifted.
That's all I have to say. Do the work. Stop procrastinating with learning. All the teachers, scripture, it's all the same Truth at the core. Learning is fine because you learn different mental models at different points of your life but you need to do the work.
I've been fortunate to not only have explored TONS of teachers and books in this realm, you name it I've probably read it or have a copy, I've also HAD mentors and WORKED directly under multi millionaires older and more experienced than me who know this work very well and knew Neville specifically, and it's the real deal. I did sales for someone in the online coaching space was was very well off and had decades of success and spoke of Neville very often, it was really cool.
Proof of the Law
I don't know what more proof you need that the Law is real. All religions throughout eternity have known this, Neville just distilled the same Truth through his own methods that work really well in my opinion and I personally love his interpretation of scripture.
The most successful people in the world are usually consciously (and some unconsciously) doing these same actions. Just do the work and focus on it coming from a good place of knowing that it's done. You don't need to know HOW but you just need to know the plane is going to somehow land one day.
I just come back to Neville every time, because his methods are simple and philosophies work well for how I think. I've done tons of psychedelic mushrooms over the years which luckily made me very open to this sort of thinking, before that I was very rigid and too '3d scientific' minded in my thinking. Keep in mind there is actually nothing 'unscientific' about the Law... modern science has its own limitations in that we cannot measure many things.
What used to be called magic in years past is now under the realm of science right? I'm not saying I don't value logic and science... I have a science degree from a top 5 university.
I'm just saying your ego mind which wants to keep you stuck and surviving uses the excuse of logic and science when that's actually not the full scope of how reality works, we are incredibly limited in our conscious understanding of reality.... we don't even know what we're doing here on a floating rock in infinite space and we can hardly see much of the light spectrum as it is.
So remember that when your ego tries to believe in your limitations and the 3d reality only. You being here is magic that even the most advanced science does not know the answer to. Do scientists know fundamentally why there is something at all instead of nothing?
Anyway, one more thing is I've never been shy of making relatively bold and fast decisions, investing in a mentor (for business) and just generally betting on myself.
Because getting around people who think bigger than you and don't settle is a hack and it's worth every penny. There is a reason millionaires hang with other millionaires.
I'm not saying to cut people out of your life (unless toxic) but rather to seek proximity and get around winners or pay to join some mastermind in business or whatever you need to do to network in your realm.
Just last week I invested 7.5k for get into a network of high performing young male entrepreneurs just because I want a better network in real life and work on business tactics and execution. When I was 23 I invested 25k that I did not have at the time (I made it happen and earned it back) to get a business mentor. So I use all of this in combo with Neville's methods primarily. I really like revision method as well.
The act of DECISION literally creates a parallel reality and becomes the new bridge to your manifestation.

(Sorry, this is going to be a longish read)
Arkane were one of my favorite developers out there. Dishonored 1 and 2 are among the best games I´ve ever played and Prey: Mooncrash is an amazingly brilliant little game.
I was looking forward to Redfall the moment I heard of it. Sure, making a multiplayer looter shooter seemed a little odd for Arkane Austin, but I figured innovation and experimentation lies in trying out weird new stuff, and while also not initially sold on the concepts that tie Mooncrash together, after trying it, I have to say it´s mechanically probably the best game they´ve put out so far (despite preferring the art, music and setting of the Dishonored series). So, despite already owning a PS5, I decided to purchase a Series X: I would get all the Dishonored games "for free" on GamePass, plus get to play Arkane´s future exclusives.
When Redfall came out and saw the whole debacle and read the reviews, I was bummed out. I tried the game for 5 minutes, saw it was janky and messy, and figured I wouldn´t ruin it for myself nor ask for a refund. I´ll wait it out: they´ll have to come around and fix it, and once that is done, it still won´t be Arkane´s greatest game, but I´ll try it as a finished product and evaluate it on its own merit. After all, if No Man´s Sky, a game made by 17 people at a tiny company could redeem itself and churn out an at least decent product then surely Arkane, backed by the might and wealth of Microsoft, could at least fix the game... I swore to not touch the game until they fixed it.
And so I waited... for over a year I waited, only to find out there will never be a finished product. They would never deliver on the things they promised. Hell, there would never be an Arkane Austin again... All those brilliant artists and game designers, fired...
So, seeing that finished product would never come, I decided to sit down and play Redfall as it currently stands. To at least see what parts of that Arkane DNA shined through a problematic product. This is my experience with it:
I boot it up, create a new character and start a new game. My first thought is that they seem to have fixed or tweaked the default camera movement. It still doesn´t seem perfect, it still seems a little too fast, but it seems better. Second thought is: wow, the Arkane character design and environmental art is like a cup of hot chocolate. This may be a messy, unfinished, janky game, but it still looks beautiful and the world looks somewhere between cartoon and realistic and brimming with magic and mystery.
I leave the ferry and make my way up towards the fire station. I evade some cultist goons. The stealth seems simplified and a bit silly but I don´t care, I´m enjoying myself. I get to the fire station, shoot up some goons outside. Again, the shooting is pretty simple, not brilliant, but I love the lighting and evironments, I love the little notes I find scattered around. This is nowhere near the MONUMENT that Dishonored 2 is, but it still feel´s like mommma´s cooking. I feel right at home.
I enter the fire station, clear up the various rooms and I´m told there is a vampire down in the basement. I get down there and I can see its shadow projected onto the floor as it devours its prey in an exaggerated fashion as it speaks in a "spooky", campy voice. Lol, so silly, I approach it from behind and fire my shotgun into it. Suddenly it zips to my left, then to my right, I´m searching for it with my flashlight, I realize that even though the game is campy and silly my heart is racing and I´m loving it. The vampire is upon me and I fire several shots into it, hitting a few and missing a few, and then I finally impale it and exhale a sigh of relief.
THIS IS BRILLIANT! I´m gonna tell my friends to download this. I love playing coop and this game may be unfinished and janky but it´s still gonna be a lot of fun!
I take on my first mission and leave the fire station. I think to myself: I need to save! Wait... What?!? I can´t save?!? Oh, right! This is one of those ALWAYS ONLINE games... Arkane Austin was days away from releasing a much requested offline mode but now they never will... Damn...
Ok, so the game will save itself at certain checkpoints... Well, that sucks but let´s roll with it. Let´s try to find those crashed helicopters.
I make my way down the spooky street, past broken-down ambulances and corpes strewn about and then all of a sudden...
I lose connection to the server and I´m back at the main menu...
Shit... I was having so much fun... This broke my immersion big time but I was having so much fun... Let´s get back inside.
I´m back in the fire station basement. Head upstairs, out onto the street, make my way down the spooky street, past broken-down ambulances and corpes strewn about. I reach a strange pillar and find a group of cultists around it. I easily put them down but a vampire is drawn to the gunfire. It drains my blood and almost kills me, but I manage to back away and heal. Now it´s coming towards me at full speed, I shoot it as it comes towards me and then... I lose connection to the server and I´m back at the main menu...
This time I´m slightly less enthusiastic to rejoin the game...
I´m back in the basement of the fire station, I head upstairs, out onto the street, make my way down the spooky street, past broken-down ambulances and corpes strewn about. I kill the goons and a vampire, I keep walking down towards a group of dimly lit houses only barely illuminated by a TV set emanating the speech of some monstrosity. It´s all very atmospheric and nice. And then I lose connection with the server again...
Fuck this game. I tried to enjoy it on its own limited terms, but even there it failed me.
And above all: FUCK MICROSOFT. I bought an Xbox when I heard they were purchasing Bethesda, the owners of Arkane, the best company for my favorite genre out there: immersive sims. Microsoft has all the money in the world, I want to see what comes out of this! Turns out they only bought the company to downsize? Should have never purchased Bethesda in the first place then. Fuck MS and fuck Xbox, crappy greedy company run by incompetent idiots lacking a clear vision for how to stand out in the videogaming market.

I'm almost done with high school and finally get to move away, thank god. As much as I like being alone I'm so scared of the world (not adulting, just the actual world) and feel like I belong absolutely nowhere. Parties are evil, don't talk to x person they have green hair, "look what she's wearing, stay away from her". I know a lot of things my parents engrained in me are irrational and I'm very aware how stupid it is, but I feel like an imposter walking around and it's only a matter of time before everyone realizes I'm literally just a kid that never grew up in an adult's body. I've never done anything and I have no childhood memories. Everything is so scary. Even talking to a single person. I legitimately expect them to leave me with no warning. If they invited me to hang out with them I would be hypervigilant about the environment we're in, making sure they don't do anything "bad" or use "bad words" (Yeah, I'm messed up... but I wanna stress the difference between me not actually caring what they do and knowing it's fine, versus knowing my parents would be flipping out and feeling an awful combination of shame and guilt and fear).
My family never tolerated anything. I wasn't allowed to have social media my entire life, so I couldn't really connect with anyone at school. No sleepovers ever, and I have to be tracked on my phone all the time. Therapy is bad, animal rights are pointless, sex is not okay and you're more noble than everyone else if you don't care about it (wtf..). Wasn't allowed to watch Harry Potter until I was 16 and Netflix was never allowed in the house. I downloaded a free shooter game on my PC once, my mom found it while snooping, and she flipped out. The clothes I was allowed to wear up until high school literally made me look like a little boy. My sister still has to go to school wearing almost knee length shorts and it looks so bad. I was never really shown basic hygiene stuff like showering everyday, needing to brush your teeth twice a day, etc. Never even suggested I wear deodorant until I was 13/14, I didn't even know people were walking around wearing it and that's why they didn't smell so bad. My parents just kind of let me figure it out. I looked really bad in middle school and in 7th grade I sat down at a table with people that usually let me sit with them, but that day they all just got up and left at the same time and everybody saw it.
My social anxiety is through the roof from isolating myself so much. I remember one day in high school I kind of made a friend and she told me where she sat at lunch, so I went to find her. As soon as I stepped into the lunch room I just wanted to run back out because the anxiety I got was so intense. All these people probably hate me. They're better than me. They have more friends than I do. They have a more interesting life than I do. Now imagine feeling that same feeling when you walk past a single person your age in public. I wish I never existed.
I feel like my life has been set back a decade or two, and that's only the best case scenario if I try really hard to catch up. I'm glad I'm never coming back, but I'm also so depressed right now. Everyone gets to be normal except for me.

(For those that just want the end product, here you go
I advise you strongly to download it instead of using Google Sheets, otherwise it could misplace most if not all the pictures I used)
Greetings everyone ! About a year ago I did make a damage calculator, for personnal use at first, and I had planned on making it for others too, so I had to make it understandable for others.
Sadly since I played a lot less after finishing this calculator, and got into other games, I kind of stopped playing consistently and totally forgot to do this ....
I recently got back into the game and am currently catching up with a year worth of content, plus all I already had to do so I've been busy.
And I remembered I had this file on my computer, so I decided to see if it still worked, for the most it does, but as some new stuff has been added I've been forced to change a bit of what I did, one thing led to another and I did the whole thing from scratch.
But in the first place how come I did a Damage Calculator ?
Well, Story Time it is !
Story time:
Whilst farming AD I noticed that despite being under the same buff/debuff/conditions, and hitting the same enemy, my damage wasn't a fixed value, so I understood from this situation that there is some RNG in the damage value of this game . I thought it would be kind of neat to have a damage calculator to see what kind of fluctuation there is, or simply know how much damage I could do without actually doing it in game.
Little did I know is that this idea took me through a long journey that lasted for about 2-3 months.
And after searching, it appears there was a post that was made around 5 years ago or so, on a spreadsheet (by u/will_jojo, thank you by the way to this person) calculating damage. Great, right ? Well, yes and no, I'm a dumbass so I didn't understand a single thing of it and totally gave up when I saw formulas, number and different values to input. Needless to say my experience when it comes to spreadsheet prior to this journey was near 0 . Plus since it is 4 years old with all the new mechanics and grastas and stuff it is sort of outdated (I know there was a second version too that did include grastas) To put it bluntly it appeared to be too hard to me, so while it was cool that someone did this, it wasn't useful to me since I didn't understand any of it.
So then, I had a "brilliant" idea and thought to myself: "How about I just make it myself, that way I know it won't be outdated and there'll be everything I want in it, simple as that !" Never have I been struck by karma so fast....
I searched if there was a thing such as a damage formula for this game. Turns out there was and it was on the wiki all this time! By the way thanks to the people that made this wiki as always, and props to the people that made this hellish formula.
So I clicked on the page to see the formula and the details as to how it works. Needless to say I ended up having a stroke given the sheer size of that page. Jokes aside it was a really well detailed page and you can see the amount of work that was put into it, but my dum-dum brain had trouble processing all of it. After taking a break and reading through it while understanding absolutely nothing, I reduced this to "so it IS just a formula after all, simple enough for me to make a damage calculator, right ?"
And with my experience in terms of spreadsheet, it was litterally sink or swim, watching tutorials so as to understand a bit about spreadsheets and stuff. I can't stress out how much this forehead of mine encountered the hardness of my wall during the creation of this Calculator.
As you have guessed it was a pain to do it, mentally and well, physically, damned be this wall. First I had to actually read the entire page of wiki concerning the damage formula several times so as to understand it, which in and of itself took me quite some time.
As for the looks of it, I totally took the same direction as u/will_jojo by doing it on a spreadsheet.
The main difference being that mine is a mess. Then I had to turn all the gibberish of the damage formula wiki page into actual spreadsheet formulas, and make it understandable by people like me, as well as just about anyone.
Also making sure the values were good by testing them myself with my units, making sure that it wouldn't break if a buff/debuff was applied etc.... To put it in a nutshell, I had an awful lot to do to keep me busy, but after a lot of pain I finally succeeded in putting all of this together and make it both viable and working, at least for this first version that is. Because there still is an awful lot to do in terms of enhancements, especially visually because it's a real mess let's face it....
(I'll spare you the details on the numerous times where it went wrong, just know there were A LOT of times where I had to start over, either because of a crash, my fat fingers making a mess in formulas or me simply going in the wrong way...)
I tried to take into account as much things as possible, but I may have forgotten some .
Keep in mind: I have no skills when it comes to maths or using a spreadsheet prior to this, so what I did may be inefficient/have unnecessary brackets/could be shortened. You are free to use it for yourself, share it, ignore it, or upgrade it (if you like to torment yourself with long formulas that is). If you have any feedback about this or criticism (especially negative one as it's the best indicator as to what's to change), feel free to let me know .
As for the way it works, it' very simple: -Sheet 2: A step by step instructions as to how to use Page 3 properly
-Sheet 3: The calculator, just type the values of your unit as well as other values (buffs/debuffs/effects/etc....)
-Sheet 4: A page where I explain precisely how I made that Damage Calculator this way people can understand what I did and perhaps find things I did wrong if you are interested in how I made it.
And with that have fun, I stay available if you have any questions.

Hey Guys and Girls
I feel lost and slightly depressed.
I took a deep dive into Sveltekit and love it so far. I've created a Website for a client, which is a very small, newly founded non-profit Organisation without much funds. I host the site on Github and deploy to Vercel.
On the kick-off meeting we discussed what this App needs to be able to in a few months. Of course they want to be able to edit content themselves but more importantly, they want their members to have a login and be able to add content and files. These files should be made public to download on a protected area for other members.
So I research what kind of CMS there are and not a single one meets our criteria. Mostly because they are to expensive. Every free version doesn't meet the criteria on multi role based content editing. Those who have open-source versions to self-host, like Directus, which would actually be perfect for us, because it has file-management and an LMS , but I really just have not enough experience in Dev-Ops to set this up myself. If we want to use Directus in the Cloud, it cost $99 a month. That will be 1200 a year which means half of the funds this non-profit receives goes just into the CMS cost(!). Its not like we will have thousands of users across the globe. We will have hundreds at maximum. Why don't they have a scale-plan?
Anyway, I invested a lot of time setting this site up and now I just don't know how to progress from here. I will begin to setup Lucia Auth next, so at least the members can login and see protected content. But it looks like i will be editing the whole site for a while until i find that magic unicorn of a CMS which is simple, cheap and meets our criteria :()

As the title states, (and despite the existential risk to myself - as I am disabled, impoverished, and my survival is reliant on the room I rent in her attic - given her recent threat to have have me thrown out by the police because she could not handle the feelings she had during the argument that she initiated), I have finally drawn a bright red line in the metaphorical sand regarding her treatment of me. This is the culmination of 8+ years of sustained, one-sided, unreciprocated, and unsuccessful effort on my part to sustain, salvage, repair, or improve our "relationship"
 
I've learned a lot from the stories and people on this subreddit, and I know if anyone can understand the way that I'm feeling about this it's you guys.
 
Any input, commentary, criticism, insight, commiseration, etc, is very welcome, and I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it.
 
Anyways, enough preamble, here's the letter in all of my ridiculously-verbose inglory (the square-bracketed disclaimers, etc, were part of the letter as delivered to her, since she is selective illiterate whenever there's something she doesn't like):
 
[START]
 
[This document begins with a 382 word AI-generated summary (titled "AI- GENERATED SUMMARY:" below the square-bracketed opening remarks), estimated at 1m23s time required to read. If you are unable or unwilling to make it through even this brief summary, then there is literally nothing else I could possibly do to assist in your comprehension of my positions. The full message following the summary is approximately 2100 words, estimated at approximately 8 minutes to read.]
 
[If you would like assistance in understanding things I've written that you're struggling to interpret or comprehend, you can go to chatgpt.com (no account necessary), or download the ChatGPT app from the Google Play Store on your phone. You can simply interact with the chat in natural language (in other words, type as though you were texting another person) and it will understand what you are saying. If you are struggling to understand how to interact with it effectively, you can simply inform it of that (in any wording you choose) and it will assist you with altering your approach to receive more effective results.]
 
AI-GENERATED SUMMARY:
 
Your son's message is a powerful declaration of his boundaries, grievances, and intentions within your relationship. Here's a breakdown to help you understand:
 
Preface: He advises you to read with an open mind and, if needed, with assistance due to the emotional complexity.
 
Declaration of Disengagement: He firmly states his decision to disengage from any form of interaction or acknowledgment outside of essential landlord-tenant matters.
 
Condemnation of Abuse: He accuses you of perpetuating a cycle of abuse that has deeply impacted his health and stability.
 
Rejection of Coercion: He dismisses the idea that being evicted is a viable solution to the abuse, highlighting the coercive nature of such a choice, and how it leaves him vulnerable to further harm.
 
Criticism of Your Behavior: He unreservedly condemns your actions, particularly your exploitation and manipulation, emphasizing the gravity and effects of your conduct.
 
Challenges to Your Claims: He directly confronts your claims regarding his efforts in the relationship, asserting that he has consistently made extensive attempts to maintain it, despite your accusations to the contrary.
 
Commitment to Compliance: He unequivocally affirms his commitment to compliance with all landlord-related demands, demonstrating his unwavering respect for your authority as the homeowner.
 
Demand for Clarity: He demands clear and unambiguous knowledge of the requisite terms when any changes to living arrangement paradigms are demanded, underscoring his willingness to comply with any directives you may issue.
 
Defense Against Gaslighting: He firmly asserts his unwavering commitment to respecting your property and authority, preemptively refuting any attempts to accuse him otherwise.
 
Insights into Your Behaviour: He offers insights into patterns in your behaviour, linking them to moments of vulnerability or distress in your life.
 
Call for Self-Reflection: He urges you to seek professional help for your narcissism and unresolved childhood traumas.
 
Caution Regarding Gravity: He states that failing to address your responsibilities would be a missed opportunity for both of you to salvage the relationship and resolve underlying issues.
 
Reiteration of Hope: Despite his current stance, he leaves the door open for reconciliation if you undergo necessary personal growth.
 
Closure on Unequal Effort: He firmly states that he can no longer sustain the one-sided effort in the relationship and won't continue to do so.
 
It's evident that he's deeply hurt and demanding acknowledgment, change, and resolution in your relationship.
 
[end of AI-generated summary; my full, non-AI-generated message follows below]
 
[I recommend that you read this in its entirety at a time and capacity level where your literacy and comprehension are at their highest level, and preferably with the interpretational assistance of a knowledgeable and competent support person or technological assistant.]
 
[Presumably, after reading a few sentences or less, your defense mechanisms will be activated and you will eject. However, as with the vast majority of the things I have said to you that have gone unacknowledged, I am completely certain that the contents are cogent and comprehensible, and I believe that with competent support and vulnerable effort you undoubtedly have the raw cognitive capacity necessary for comprehension if you are able to stabilize your emotional reactions and put real effort into the actions necessary for you to understand my words.]
 
I will not talk to you.
I will not look at you.
I will not approach you.
I will not acknowledge you.
 
If you attempt to interact with me on any interpersonal level not related to your role as a landlord, I will reserve the right to express just how fucking despicable it is to treat such a vulnerable person with such utter disregard and abuse for so fucking long.
 
The cycle of abuse you have maintained to destabilize me for your own pathological reasons has caused - and continues to cause - extensive damage to my health, stability, and existence. However, since I know your response to this would likely be some variation of "you're not a victim here [my name], so if I treat you so bad, just leave", I'll preemptively and unequivocally condemn such coercive and abusive tactics, and state again (as I did the other day), that the forced choice between your abuse and life-threatening-homelessness is obviously no choice at all, and leaves me perpetually subject to your coercion and abusive control.
 
Such exploitation by you is absolutely disgusting, and honestly I understand why you run away from yourself at every single instance where you're in danger of having your lifelong house-of-cards ego even slightly threatened. I know if I treated another human being the way you treat me for even a moment, let alone for the literal years you have done so, I would not be able to face myself in the mirror either. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself.
 
You say I "don't want to be your son anymore", as though it has been someone other than me making hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hours of efforts and attempts in order to try and single-handedly keep our relationship alive, and as though it has been someone other than you who has stonewalled me for years about every single legitimate and valid time I attempted to gain even the slightest foothold as a full human being in the owner-pet relationship you have fought so hard to maintain. You siphon, in fact demand, emotional supply whenever you so choose, and then fucking discard me as soon as it appears that I might do anything that would result in you losing even a fraction of a percent of the 99% to 1% imbalance you believe is an immutable part of our "relationship".
 
I will do my absolute best to be in my room as much as physically possible when you are home, so as to minimize the need to be physically adjacent to you in the course of our respective activities of daily living.
 
I, again, remain unequivocally committed to my position of deference and compliance towards any rules/demands related to my existence, presence, or activities as your tenant.
 
As you refuse to provide any sort of unambiguous guidance or clarification whatsoever regarding your shifting demands affecting my ability to access/perform basic activities of daily living, I will continue to act in good faith with respect to my adherence to all previously-established arrangements and protocols (whether codified or de facto) regarding such activities. To the full extent of my abilities, and to the extent that it is physically possible, I will immediately and unequivocally comply with any alterations, additions, or excisions you choose to impose regarding the nature of our physical coexistence as landlord and tenant, regardless of your disregard or intent for any harm to my stability that will ensue as a result.
 
If you intend to attempt to manipulate or threaten or gaslight me to illegitimately and dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with your rights and demands as the homeownelandlord, then I can assure you that such efforts will be ineffective and inadvisable. The extensive history of my genuine, documented, and unwavering commitment to absolute respect of your home, property, and landlord-tenant authority is unassailable, and nothing has or will change about the good faith nature of my efforts to simply live peacefully and work on stabilizing my health and continuing to attempt to develop basic protocols that offer me the opportunity to seek the ways and means required to sustainably exist, survive, and seek meaning and fulfilment as a human being.
 
To try and make it a bit more bite-sized (without warranty as to the efficacy of said efforts), since I know when your ego is threatened you conveniently - and dishonestly - become completely unable to read a couple thousand words:
 

• I have never been more disgusted by the actions of anyone or anything more in my entire fucking existence.

 

• I will continue to be an absolute model tenant, despite the harmful effects of your constant abuse, and I will unequivocally comply with any demands you make with your authority as my landlord. I will explicitly and aggressively defend against any attempts to gaslight me, or attempt to dishonestly accuse me of failing to comply with any such demands.

 

• Feel free at anytime in your life to decide that maybe it might be time to face the fact that - though skillful in your delusion - you are the same scared child you were 40 years ago, and if you ever want to truly and meaningfully experience what it's like to be secure with yourself beneath the false veneer of superficial and ego-protecting interactions you surround yourself with at the exclusion of true and honest existential vulnerability, then you need to seek, engage with, and be honest and vulnerable with, professional clinical care for your intractable narcissism and the lifelong effects and deficits associated with same. In other words, to reductively and rhetorically restate what you disgustingly told me the other day as a means of deflecting from the fact that you couldn't go more than two seconds without contradicting yourself, “get your fucking meds adjusted”.

 

• When faced with any sort of challenge to your control or authority, your lifelong fear of abandonment has caused you to push people away before they have the opportunity to leave you, resulting in premature, self-created, and misdirected sabotage of significant relationships at the first sign of disturbance or genuine vulnerability. I know you're terrible at recognizing or interpreting patterns or facts, but think, for example, about when your efforts to remove me from your life and/or house have been at their most intense:

 

• (a) in 2016(ish) when conflicts about my role in helping with the [redacted address][job of cleaning out my grandpa's apartment after Alzheimer's took hold] triggered feelings of grief and fear in you at the decline of your father's health and the inevitability of his then-upcoming death,

 

• (b) in late 2019 through 2020ish, in the leadup to and aftermath of your father's death, where you threatened or demanded my removal from your house during damn-near every single minor conflict about utterly insignificant household disputes. The vulnerability and grief you felt surrounding his death triggered the core-level unresolved sense of abandonment you carry as a result of the lack of parental affection you received because of, inter alia, the level of care required by your [editor's note: dying of CF as a teenager] sister and resultant lack of parental support available to you as a result,

 

• (c) in 2021ish, surrounding your mother's acute medical events and her subsequent death, where your treatment of me followed effectively the same patterns and underlying causes as the item above (sans explicit threats of eviction, opting instead for the more oblique and covert references that have been your MO until the recent regression to explicit threats within the past few days).

 

• (d) in 2024, surrounding the final decline and subsequent death of [dog], where all of the same behaviours described above returned and steadily escalated, culminating in telling me to get the fuck out of your house because I wouldn't stop moving some boxes for 30 minutes, and then telling me that you were going to call the police to have me removed from your house as a result of your inability to force me to stop making accurate statements that damaged your ego and need for unquestioned interpersonal control in your self-appointed role as the sole ruler of the relational hierarchy you fought so hard to maintain.

 

• You need to actively and vulnerably seek and participate in professional clinical treatment for the lifelong effects of the hollow narcissism that has maladaptively protected you from your deepest childhood injuries and vulnerabilities, at the expense of truly genuine connection with, at the very least, your firstborn and only son.

 

• [note that the contents of this bullet point are neither a threat of suicide, nor an indication of any intent whatsoever to harm myself or others. I am including this disclaimer to preemptively remove your ability to selectively manipulate my words in order to further gaslight me]
  If you want me gone from your house, and life (and possibly my own life, given the extreme existential risk posed by homelessness for a vulnerable person with the significant disabilities I am faced with), then you will have to have me physically removed from your house in cold blood, and until the day you (or I, depending on the order) die you will live with that being the last time you ever saw the son that you took for granted and abused for 32 fucking years while he groveled at your feet begging for even scraps of affection or humanity from the person who constantly love-bombed and discarded him at her convenience to serve her own narcissistic desires worth no regard for the whole entire person she was subjugating to the role of, barely, a pet.
  

 

• Be aware that if you choose to remove me from your life as a pathological and assuredly-ineffective avoidance mechanism to try and preemptively shield yourself from the fear of abandonment that is triggered in you as a result of my overwhelmingly valid and necessary actions to demand that you cease your lifelong efforts to subjugate me in your self-created hierarchical position at the top of our unequal relationship, then you will be doing yourself an irreparable disservice by extinguishing whatever sliver of opportunity might remain for you to get the help you need to allow you to finally see me as a real person and begin making real decisions and changes and efforts to participate in efforts to salvage whatever scraps of hope might remain for us to have a relationship before both/either of us die.

 

• Feel free to ignore and/or conceal the tens of thousands of words of documented history in order to share contextless excerpts of this text within your self-serving echo chambers in your efforts to receive false validation of your delusional victimhood. Or, alternatively, feel free to vulnerably share this in its entirety - along with the full corpus of my messaging regarding the severity of the harms caused by your behaviours - with a competent and knowledgeable mental health professional(s) for the purposes of seeking treatment for your underlying pathologies and working towards genuine growth.

 

• In the unlikely (though incomprehensibly-or-perhaps-delusionally-still-hopeful) event that you are still reading, I will conclude by saying that the possibility for any hope of salvaging our relationship lies firmly and solely within your control.

 

• After over 8 years of significant, relentless, documented, often-vilified, and absolutely unreciprocated efforts to single-handedly to put 100% of the effort into a relationship that you reaped the benefits of while remaining unwavering in your abdication of even the slightest of responsibilities, I have run out of ways, means, ideas, and capacity to continue unsuccessfully trying to do both of our parts.

 

• I am not closing the door to the possibility of reconciliation if/once you have undertaken the extensive individual work you need to do if you are ever going to be able and willing to put the necessary effort into repairing our relationship. But neither am I continuing to continue working outside your closed door hoping that one day I might be able to do enough to influence you to treat me like a full, real, EQUAL, human being.

 
I love you, and goodbye for now. I hope to see you on the other side, but I cannot force you to undertake the journey.
 
- [name]
 
[/END]
(any edits are fixing formatting/copy&paste errors)

Good morning everyone,
I was recently laid off and I have been openly looking for work on LinkedIn. I had a connect reach out regarding a job at her husbands work. He then reached out to me and there is a lot of interest on both ends. However, there is no Job Title/Salary listed - they are asking me what I would want it to be. I have 7 years of experience in digital marketing, primarily focused on Marketing Automation but also have done PPC, social media, graphic design, etc. Here are the details:

• Personal Injury Law Firm based out of Philadelphia
  • I am located in the suburbs of Chicago, fully remote position
• Reporting to Director of Marketing
• Responsiblities sent to me were in reference to a specific campaign for Pressure Cooker accidents. The responsibilities include:
  • Targeted Content Marketing: Develop blogs, infographics, and FAQs focused on pressure cooker safety and legal recourse available to victims. Create downloadable content such as safety guides or what-to-do checklists in exchange for contact information.
  • PPC Campaigns: Use Google Ads and Meta Platforms to run targeted ads using specific keywords related to exploding pressure cookers. Implement geo-targeting to focus on areas where these incidents are more common or where product sales are high.
  • Social Media Marketing: Utilize platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter to share stories of previous clients, safety tips, and legal advice. Run lead generation ads that direct users to a landing page where they can sign up for free consultations.
  • Video Marketing: Produce video testimonials of past clients and explainer videos on what legal steps to take after an injury. Distribute these videos on YouTube, TikTok, and as part of social media ad campaigns.
  • SEO and Local Search: Optimize your website content for SEO to rank higher for related search terms. Ensure your Google My Business listing is updated and optimized for local searches.
  • Email and SMS Campaigns: Set up automated nurturing campaigns to educate and engage leads captured through different channels. Use SMS to send quick updates and reminders about safety news or legal consultations.
  • Networking and Partnerships: Attend and sponsor industry events and seminars relevant to product liability and consumer safety. Join professional groups and associations where you can contribute content and expertise.
  • LinkedIn Marketing: Use LinkedIn for targeted ads and content marketing focused on demonstrating expertise and successful case studies. Engage with potential referral partners by joining discussions and sharing insightful content.
  • Referral Program: Create a formal referral program that offers incentives for other professionals to refer clients to your firm. Clearly communicate the benefits and terms of the referral program through dedicated landing pages and during networking events.
  • Co-Branded Webinars and Workshops: Host webinars and workshops in partnership with medical professionals or safety organizations. Focus topics on consumer safety, legal rights, and case studies related to product liability.
  • Direct Outreach: Use a targeted email campaign to reach out to potential referral sources with information about your expertise and past successes. Follow up with phone calls or personal meetings to discuss potential partnerships.
  • Content Marketing: Produce white papers, case studies, and articles that showcase your expertise and success in cases related to exploding pressure cookers. Distribute this content to potential referral sources and make it available on your website.

As you can see, it is essentially running the marketing department for the firm by myself. The Director is very opening to assisting if/when needed for anything I am uncomfortable with or isn't a strong suit.
With all of this information, what would my title even be, and what would be a fair salary for someone in the Chicago suburbs? The amount of responsibilities makes it feel like an Associate Director position, but traditionally Associate Director's aren't doing all the heavy lifting.
Happy to answer any additional questions - I want to make sure I am taken care of and not lowballing myself. Thank you

Good morning everyone,
I was recently laid off and I have been openly looking for work on LinkedIn. I had a connect reach out regarding a job at her husbands work. He then reached out to me and there is a lot of interest on both ends. However, there is no Job Title/Salary listed - they are asking me what I would want it to be. I have 7 years of experience in digital marketing, primarily focused on Marketing Automation but also have done PPC, social media, graphic design, etc. Here are the details:

• Personal Injury Law Firm based out of Philadelphia
  • I am located in the suburbs of Chicago, fully remote position
• Reporting to Director of Marketing
• Responsiblities sent to me were in reference to a specific campaign for Pressure Cooker accidents. The responsibilities include:
  • Targeted Content Marketing: Develop blogs, infographics, and FAQs focused on pressure cooker safety and legal recourse available to victims. Create downloadable content such as safety guides or what-to-do checklists in exchange for contact information.
  • PPC Campaigns: Use Google Ads and Meta Platforms to run targeted ads using specific keywords related to exploding pressure cookers. Implement geo-targeting to focus on areas where these incidents are more common or where product sales are high.
  • Social Media Marketing: Utilize platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter to share stories of previous clients, safety tips, and legal advice. Run lead generation ads that direct users to a landing page where they can sign up for free consultations.
  • Video Marketing: Produce video testimonials of past clients and explainer videos on what legal steps to take after an injury. Distribute these videos on YouTube, TikTok, and as part of social media ad campaigns.
  • SEO and Local Search: Optimize your website content for SEO to rank higher for related search terms. Ensure your Google My Business listing is updated and optimized for local searches.
  • Email and SMS Campaigns: Set up automated nurturing campaigns to educate and engage leads captured through different channels. Use SMS to send quick updates and reminders about safety news or legal consultations.
  • Networking and Partnerships: Attend and sponsor industry events and seminars relevant to product liability and consumer safety. Join professional groups and associations where you can contribute content and expertise.
  • LinkedIn Marketing: Use LinkedIn for targeted ads and content marketing focused on demonstrating expertise and successful case studies. Engage with potential referral partners by joining discussions and sharing insightful content.
  • Referral Program: Create a formal referral program that offers incentives for other professionals to refer clients to your firm. Clearly communicate the benefits and terms of the referral program through dedicated landing pages and during networking events.
  • Co-Branded Webinars and Workshops: Host webinars and workshops in partnership with medical professionals or safety organizations. Focus topics on consumer safety, legal rights, and case studies related to product liability.
  • Direct Outreach: Use a targeted email campaign to reach out to potential referral sources with information about your expertise and past successes. Follow up with phone calls or personal meetings to discuss potential partnerships.
  • Content Marketing: Produce white papers, case studies, and articles that showcase your expertise and success in cases related to exploding pressure cookers. Distribute this content to potential referral sources and make it available on your website.

As you can see, it is essentially running the marketing department for the firm by myself. The Director is very opening to assisting if/when needed for anything I am uncomfortable with or isn't a strong suit.
With all of this information, what would my title even be, and what would be a fair salary for someone in the Chicago suburbs? The amount of responsibilities makes it feel like an Associate Director position, but traditionally Associate Director's aren't doing all the heavy lifting.
Happy to answer any additional questions - I want to make sure I am taken care of and not lowballing myself. Thank you

Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, Gratitude to Master Jun Hong Lu.
Respected fellow Buddhists, do you know what's worse than death? Have you ever escaped death? Today, I have a firsthand experience of escaping death to share with you.
Have you heard of a disease called myasthenia gravis (MG)? I believe many people have not. As only about 30,000 people worldwide suffer from this disease (Note: This figure may vary as there are differing estimates, with the United States alone having approximately 36,000 to 60,000 cases), where the nerves cannot control the muscles. For example, if the affected area is the hand, it can feel pain, heat, cold, and pressure. But no matter how much you command your hand to move, it won't budge. I am one of those 30,000 people. The affected areas include the cheeks, mouth, left arm, and the chest muscles responsible for breathing. In other words, during an episode of the disease, I cannot breathe. Can you now imagine how close I was to death?
Back to my story. In mid-September 2012, my lungs were infected with bacteria, and I fell seriously ill. On the night of September 29th, my breathing became increasingly difficult, and my family rushed me to the hospital for emergency treatment. The next night, my condition deteriorated to the point of MG, and my breathing became so weak that it was almost cut off. The doctors once again performed emergency procedures for me, eventually placing me on life support system (LSS) and transferring me to the intensive care unit (ICU). The so-called LSS involved many instruments strapped to my body and several tubes inserted into my body. Although the areas where the tubes were inserted were very painful, I dared not move for fear that any loosening of the instruments might endanger my life. So, at that moment, I didn't dare to move at all.
One night, a nurse attempted to draw blood for examination, but the needle just couldn't find the right artery. She would try once, then pull out the needle, try again, and repeat this process several times. I was in excruciating pain, but because my body was encased in instruments, I couldn't move. Finally, I couldn't help but ask myself in my heart, what did I do wrong? Why must I endure all this? I've never harmed anyone, never wronged anyone, so why me?
At that time, I didn't understand Buddhism, nor did I know anything about making vows. But the pain drove me, someone who barely recognized a few Chinese characters despite being educated in English, to silently call out the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva in my heart, begging her to save me from this sea of suffering. A few days later, my condition improved. The doctors removed my LSS, and I was transferred from the ICU to a regular ward. I thought I would soon be discharged and return to my previous life, believing that everything was almost over. I felt very happy!
Looking back now, I realize how ignorant and selfish I was at that time, even as I began to recover. I was only thinking about my own survival and never cared about other people who were suffering like me. Perhaps it was because of this that I received a retribution. On the same evening that I was transferred to the regular ward, I suddenly had difficulty breathing again, couldn't make any sound, and my whole body was immobilized. I could only use my eyes and hands to draw attention, making small gestures with my hand to communicate.
A nurse noticed and called a doctor from the floor. Surprisingly, after glancing at the readings on the instruments, the doctor told the nurse that my heartbeat and breathing were normal, and then left. Once again, I tried my best to attract the attention of those around me. Thanks to the blessings of the Bodhisattva, another doctor passing by noticed me and observed that something was not right with my condition. He/She called back the previous doctor and urged him to conduct a detailed examination. While they were debating whether I was normal or not, I was almost breathless, mentally giving up on life.
The readings on the instruments once again sounded the alarm. Luckily, with both doctors nearby, they were able to save me at the fastest speed possible. The next day, I woke up in the familiar ICU, with the life support system back on me. Through this rollercoaster of emotions, I finally understood that the suffering I endured stemmed from the ignorance and folly accumulated since my birth, perhaps not just in this lifetime, but through countless past lives. Now, I must face the consequences.
I once again prayed to Guan Yin Bodhisattva and made a vow to her: "Guan Yin Bodhisattva, I believe that every soul, before they pass away, experiences a lot of suffering, and their pain is surely no less than what I am enduring now. I implore Guan Yin Bodhisattva to save me from all this suffering. I am willing to be a vegetarian for the rest of my life."
Whether you believe it or not is up to you. Two days after making this vow to Guan Yin Bodhisattva to be a lifelong vegetarian, my lung infection showed significant improvement, and I was subsequently transferred to a regular ward. Perhaps it was destined. Not only did I start to follow a vegetarian diet, but my parents also understood at the same time that my illness was beyond the control of doctors and only the Bodhisattva could save me. At that time, our entire family had just begun to explore Buddhism.
Every day, my mother devoutly chanted the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, while my father recited the Heart Sutra for me diligently.
However, our ordeal was not yet over. One night, I once again experienced difficulty breathing and had to be placed on the LSS for the third time.
I saw my parents kneeling down, praying to the deities and Bodhisattvas to bless me with a safe recovery. They had knelt before doctors before, but this time, seeing them kneel again went beyond what I could bear. I didn't want my parents to kneel for me. Witnessing them kneel deeply wounded me. As a 19-year-old young man, I should be taking care of my parents, yet why were my parents, who were over 50 years old, kneeling for me?
Three times being placed on LSS and admitted to the ICU, followed by three instances of improvement, resulted in my transfer to a regular ward. It was three months later, after my extended hospital stay, that I finally got discharged and returned home. I am deeply grateful for the blessings of the Bodhisattva. Instead of weakening our faith in Buddhism, this series of challenges only deepened our belief in the principles of karma and karmic obstacles as explanations for my condition. After leaving the hospital, my family and I continued to immerse ourselves in the teachings of Buddhism. Grateful for the blessings of the Bodhisattva!
One day, my family and I went to a vegetarian restaurant near our home and discovered Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door. Excitedly, I immediately went online when I returned home and downloaded several Buddhist scriptures in English phonetics from the Guan Yin Citta website to start reciting. Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door truly works wonders. That very night after reciting the Buddhist scriptures, I dreamt that while reciting the Great Compassion Mantra on the balcony at home, the image of Guan Yin Bodhisattva appeared in the clouds.
However, the next day after waking up, I felt a headache and drowsiness when reciting scriptures. My family and I took the liberty of contacting the Guan Yin Citta fellowship in Kuala Lumpur. The Buddhist practitioner who answered the call instructed us to come to the fellowship to recite scriptures. One day, while reciting scriptures at the fellowship, I experienced severe headaches. At that time, everyone was busy preparing for a Dharma conference, and the venue was crowded. I am grateful to the practitioner who cleared some space for me to lie down and gathered many fellow practitioners present to recite scriptures for me.
Later, the practitioner explained that my headaches were messages from the karmic creditors and taught me about releasing lives, making vows, and the importance of Little Houses for eliminating karmic obstacles. I immediately arranged to release thousands of fish. Today, my family still insists on releasing lives for me on the first and fifteenth day of every lunar month.
Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door is truly a miraculous practice. Ever since I began reciting Little Houses under the guidance of the fellow practitioner, I have experienced continuous dreams. On the first night, I dreamt of a seven-story-tall Buddha statue with many people practicing beneath it. Just two weeks later, after memorizing the Great Compassion Mantra, I dreamt of the Dharmakaya of Bodhisattva and two Dharma protectors driving me around in a car. Even more wonderfully, two months later, after memorizing the Eighty-Eight Buddhas Great Repentance, I dreamt of myself having tea with Master Lu.
Most importantly, after continuing to release lives, make vows, and recite Little Houses, my illness has not recurred.
Having now healed from this unusual illness, I'm here to share my story with you. These dreams signify an enhancement in the quality of life. I deeply appreciate the blessings of the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, which have reinforced my resolve to earnestly follow the path of Buddhism and instilled me with confidence. I am dedicated to diligently progressing in the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door and remain steadfast in my commitment.
Currently, I am studying in Singapore, and whenever I have the opportunity, I propagate the Dharma and benefit sentient beings. Whenever I return to Malaysia, I often volunteer at the fellowship center.
Additionally, I would like to mention two more things. Firstly, on the second night after making my vow to be a vegetarian, I saw a child's spirit clearly flying beside me in the hospital and heard it laughing. Shortly after, I dreamt of a man killing a woman and cutting open her chest. In the dream, I felt that the pain of the woman being cut open was exactly the same as the pain I felt during my surgery.
While many still question the reality of karma and karmic obstacles, doubting Master Lu's teachings, I have personally experienced their effects. Thus, I hope my story can encourage you to embark on the practice of Buddhism and the recitation of Buddhist scriptures, starting today. I wish to prevent anyone from following my path, waiting until karmic obstacles manifest and adversity strikes before beginning their spiritual journey. I am deeply thankful for all those who stood by me during that challenging time, particularly my family and friends, who supported me through my darkest moments. My heartfelt gratitude also goes to the fellow practitioners at the Guan Yin Citta fellowship in Kuala Lumpur, who patiently guided me into the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door.
Deep gratitude to our Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Master Jun Hong Lu for establishing the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door, guiding us on a path away from suffering towards happiness. Lastly, and most importantly, deep gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, who saves those in distress and hardship. With Her Buddha light blessing each one of us, She guides us back to the right path of learning Buddhism and constantly watches over us, blessing us at all times and in all places. Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Buddhist practitioner: GWT
Speech to text translator: Guan Jing
Proofreaders: Miao and Dong Ri Yang Guang
Date: 2024-05-11
Translator: Frank
Published: 2024-05-14
Statement by translator
The story was translated from video into text, and then translated from Chinese into English. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the presenter, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
下面让我们有请来自马来西亚的郭同修与我们分享：郭同修身患绝症，重症肌无力，饱受病痛折磨几次病危。然而心灵法门使他摆脱病魔，重获新生。让我们掌声欢迎!
感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨，感恩卢军宏师父。
尊敬的各位佛友，你是否知道什么事情比死更糟糕？你是否曾经死里逃生？今天我便有一个亲身经历死里逃生的故事要告诉你。
你是否听过一种称为重症肌无力的疾病？相信很多人都不曾听过。因为全世界只有约三万人患上这种病，患者的神经控制不到肌肉。举例说，如果患病部位是手臂，这个手就能感觉到痛热冷及压力。但无论如何你怎么叫你那个手动，它都不会动。我就是三万人之一。而受影响的部位包括脸颊，嘴巴，左手臂以及负责呼吸的胸肌。也就是说，当病程发作的时候，我是无法呼吸的。你现在估计到我多接近死亡了吧？
回到我的故事。2012年9月中旬，我肺部被细菌感染，久病不起。在9月29日当晚，我的呼吸也到了越来越困难，家人赶紧送进医院急救。第二天夜里，病情终于恶化到重症肌无力，我的呼吸微弱到快要断气了。医生再次替我急救，最后替我戴上了维生系统，并送进加护病房。所谓维生系统，就是很多仪器套在身上，很多管子插进身体里。虽然被插管子的部位很痛，但万一随便一个仪器松脱了，可能我的生命就会有危机。所以，我当时连动都不敢动。
有一夜，护士替我抽血检查，但是针管却一直插不进正确的动脉。她们这里插一下不行，拔出针管，在那里又插一下，一次又一次。我那时痛得死去活来，却因为全身套满了仪器而不能动。我终于忍不住在心里问自己，我做错了什么？为何必须承受这一切？我不曾伤害任何人，也不曾亏待任何人，为什么是我？
那时还不懂佛法，也不懂什么许愿。但痛苦使得我这个受英文教育认不到几个中文字的人也会在心里喊出观世音菩萨的佛号，祈求她救我出苦海。几天后，我的情况有好转。医生移除了我的维生系统，从加护病房推进了普通病房。我想自己很快可以出院，回到之前的生活，一切几乎结束了。我觉得很开心！
现在回想起来，我才发觉自己当时是多么的愚昧，才开始康复仍然如此的自私。只想着自己生存，不曾关心其他和我一样受苦的人。可能因为这样我受到了教训。就在我被转进普通病房的同一天晚上，我突然呼吸困难，发不出声音，全身又不能动，只能用眼神和手，以我的手用一点小动作来引起别人的注意。
一个护士发现到把楼层的医生叫来。想不到医生竟然看看仪器读数后跟护士说我的心跳和呼吸都正常，然后就离开了。我再一次用最尽力的引起身旁的人注意。感谢菩萨保佑。这时有另外一位医生经过，看到我，察觉到我的神态不正常，并把之前的医生叫回来，求他详细检查。就在他们两个还在争论我究竟是正常或不正常，一旁我已经几乎断气了，心里放弃活命了。
仪器读数也再一次变成警报状态。幸好两个医生在身旁，能以最快的速度把我救了。第二天，我在熟悉的加护病房里醒来，身上又套上了维生系统。经过这一次乐极生悲，我终于明白到我受的苦是源于我出生以来愚昧无知的罪，或许不止只有这一世，而是过去无数世累积下来的因果。如今要面对果报了。
我再次向观世音菩萨祈求，而且向她发愿说：“观世音菩萨，我相信每个灵魂，他们死之前都会受到很多苦，它们的痛苦肯定不比我现在所受的少。请求观世音菩萨救我脱离这一切痛苦。我愿意为此一生吃素。
相不相信由你。向观世音菩萨发愿终身吃素后两天我肺部感染有了明显的好转，之后被转进普通病房。或许是因缘到了。不但我自己开始吃素，我父母也同时明白到我的疾病已不在医生的控制范围，只有菩萨才能救到我。当时我们全家人才刚接触佛法。
妈妈每天勤念观音菩萨的佛号。爸爸找来一本《心经》每天为我念诵。
但是，我们的考验还没过去。某天晚上我再次感到呼吸困难，第三次戴上了维生系统。
我看到父母下跪求神佛菩萨保佑我平安度过。他们之前已经跪过医生了，这一次再下跪，已经超出我能承受的限度。我不要父母为我下跪。看到他们下跪，深深地刺伤了我。我这一个19岁的男孩应该照顾父母，反而为什么要让他们超过50岁的父母为我而下跪？
三次戴上了维生系统住进加护病房又三次的好转，被转进普通病房。我在医院里住了三个月后，才终于出院回家。感恩菩萨保佑。这三好三坏的过程，不但没有减少我和家人对佛法的信心，反而相信只有因果和业障才能解释我的状况。出院后，我和家人还继续研究什么是佛法。感恩菩萨加持！
某一天，我和家人到住家附近的一间素食馆，认识到心灵法门。于是，我回家就急不及待的上网，上心灵法门的网站下载了几篇佛经的英文拼音版开始念诵。心灵法门真的很灵验。我当夜念诵了经文后，便梦见在家中的阳台念诵《大悲咒》时，在梦里天上的云朵化出观世音菩萨的形象。
然而，第二天醒来后我念经便感到头痛及爱睡。我和家人冒昧地拨电话联络吉隆坡心灵法门共修会。接电话的师姐便叫我们到共修会里念经。一天我在共修会里念经时，头痛剧烈。当时大家正在忙着筹备法会，会所堆得很拥挤。很感恩师姐搬开东西，腾出空间让我躺下，还召集了在场的许多师兄师姐们一起为我念诵经文。
后来，师姐解释我的头痛是要经者的讯息，还教会我放生、许愿及小房子并告诉我消除业障的急迫性。我当时便即刻安排放生数千条鱼。如今家人依然坚持每逢初一十五为我放生。
心灵法门真的是很灵验的法门，自从我在师姐的教导下，开始以正确的方式念小房子之后，便不断有梦境显现。第一晚便梦见一座七层楼高的佛像，底下有很多人在共修。心灵法门真的很灵验的法门，两个星期后我背熟了《大悲咒》时，便梦到菩萨的法身，还有两护法神用车子载我兜圈。更美妙的是，两个月后，当我背起了《礼佛大忏悔文》，竟然梦见自己和师父一起喝茶。
最重要的是我继续的放生许愿及念小房子之后，我的病情不曾复发。
现在已经从这奇怪的疾病中痊愈，活下来告诉你们这一个故事。这一切的梦境显示生活素质提升。我都感恩大慈大悲的观世音菩萨的加持，坚定了我学佛精进，很有信心，并立志在心灵法门一门精进永不退转。
我如今在新加坡求学，只要有机会就弘法利生，一回到马来西亚更是经常到共修会工去做义工。
另外，我要补充两件事，第一件事在我发愿吃素后的第二晚，我便在医院看见一小孩子的灵性清楚地在我旁边飞过，还发出了笑声。不久后我又梦见了一个男人杀了一个女人，还把她的胸口割开。而我在梦里感觉，那女人的被割开胸口的痛苦竟然跟我动手术时的痛苦一模一样。很多人还在质疑因果和业障的存在，怀疑卢台长的教导，但是我亲身体验过了。因此，我希望自己的故事能启发你学佛，学习佛法，今天就开始念诵经文。因为我不希望有人跟我一样，等到业障显现坏事发生之后才开始修行。深深感恩所有在我那段时间陪伴过我的人，尤其是我家人和朋友，在我最艰难的时刻，可以为我支持的人。深深感恩吉隆坡心灵法门共修会的师兄师姐们。他们耐心引导我进入心灵法门。
深深感恩我们大慈大悲的卢军宏台长创办了心灵法门，指引我们一条离苦得乐的道路。最后也是最重要的，深深感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨，以她的佛光加持了我们每一个人，指引我们回到正确的学佛之道，随时随地都在庇佑着我们。感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨！
如果整理过程中有不如理不如法之处，还请观世音菩萨护法神菩萨慈悲原谅！
观净师兄语音转文字，妙师兄和东日阳光师兄校对。
2024-05-11
您想改变命运吗？
我们手把手传授您观世音菩萨的心灵法门五大法宝：“许愿”、“放生”、“念经”、“读《白话佛法》、大忏悔”。您将亲自见证如何通过佛法让自己及家人获得身心安定、病苦解除、冤结化解、智慧增长、学业进步、事业提升、家庭幸福。免费学习，免费结缘。
欢迎联络Lily佛友：sunnypurplelily@gmail.com
或者加Lily佛友微信：HanJing20210820
Disclaimer of Liability:
The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
In the event of an emergency, it is crucial to promptly contact your doctor or emergency services by dialing 911. Relying on any information found in the answers is done solely at your own risk. The translator and answerer bear no responsibility for the consequences. By using or misusing the contents, you accept liability for any personal injury, including death. It is imperative to exercise caution and seek professional medical guidance for health-related concerns.

I know it sounds crazy. Yes i know. However i feel like a shell of myself that’s weirdly relearning how to be me. It’s like im job shadowing my life to learn how to be myself. I’ve been puking a lot, getting delirious randomly, feeling like a foreign entity and feeling like my body isn’t the right size. I’ve been stopping to think about my life and personality, how I talk and interact like I’m a computer downloading data. I’ve been tossing and turning at night. I’ve also made some weird changes, my style, the brand of cigarettes i smoke, the music I listen to, how I spend my free time, stuff like that and now I think that I might not be me. I’ve had weird paranoia shit like this before and it’s made me do some wild stuff and I’m not sure what to do about it.

Got a 690, nice.
Prior to this, my only real experience with Linux had been making a Raspberry Pi tablet that nobody really uses, and installing Kali Linux on a potato laptop. I'm a Mac user and I have used Terminal a bit, and I used DOS a lot in the 90s, so some of the material (particularly hardware, basic CLI) was familiar to me. I started studying about two and a half weeks ago.
In case this is helpful to anybody, this is what I did and here are my thoughts:

• I went through the Cisco NetAcademy course. I did some of the labs. I read all the content and outlined it. It was extremely boring.
  • I completed all the unit tests on the Cisco course (In one case, and chapter 9 I am looking at you, up to 11 times...) and looked up answers and reread material until I was consistently scoring 80% or, ideally, 90-100% on each unit, the midterm, the final, and the cumulative final. Last night I finally hit 80% on all except Chapter 18 (Special Directories and Files), which is sorta funny since I got 100% on the "Security and File Permissions" component of the exam.
• I made Anki flashcards for everything I got wrong or that confused or even mildly interested me. Basically, I "Ankified" everything that was not a transition sentence, lol.
• I also had a big document where I took notes from every single section. This was, honestly, mostly to keep myself from just skimming through and skipping over stuff because it was really really dull. It might not be efficient, but throughout my education (and this ain't my first school rodeo), I've found it useful to see how information is organized, so I generally make top-down outlines of what I read. I used to do this in MS Word but lately I've been using Notion since the formatting is nicer Maybe it's a total waste of time, because it took fivever. But I did it and now I have a huge Notion document of Linux notes....so I've got that going for me.
• I went through the big blue Linux book. It was also EXTREMELY boring. It was actually sort of impressive, just how incredibly dull they managed to make that book. After a certain point, it felt almost like meditation or a fever dream. I had a friend who did a silent meditation retreat and I think I started to feel like she described feeling towards the end of that. I did as many of the exercises and "explorational" activities as possible (some required permissions that weren't possible with the VMs I had at the moment).
• For a few days, I was using the online tests / flashcards that went with the LPI Linux Essentials Study Guide: Exam 010 v1.6 book, but apparently the site those were on was "retired" on April 30th, and it was annoying enough to get access the first time, so I didn't bother to try & figure out whatever it changed to. I found that book to be the least helpful of the materials anyway. The practice tests were the best thing about that one.
• I completed the Codecademy Bash scripting course one afternoon, since I like Codecademy's approach to scaffolding material and wanted to practice actually doing Bash scripting (but without, like, installing a VM).
• I took all the Dion exams multiple times.
• I followed the same process as with the Cisco exams, making cards / looking up anything and everything I got wrong.
• I made Anki flashcards for all of the above, and used GIFs or made graphics or used ChatGPT / Midjourney to generate ridiculous / weird images or songs to help me remember commands. Please, let me regale you with my and ChatGPT's interpretation of Johnny Cash, called "A Command Named Su." (And, actually, su came up ZERO times on the actual exam for some reason).
• I played this "Command Line Murder Mystery" game and really wished there was more to it, because while it's a great intro to the CLI that I'd recommend to anybody new to it, it also replicated a lot of the stuff I was more familiar with. I would have loved it if there had been something like that for every corresponding unit of the Cisco course or chapter of the book.
• I spent about a week and a half going through the flashcards during any and all downtime: During my kid's bath, on a flight, at a stoplight, at a family wedding, hair appointment, meals, whatever.
• I had started out by downloading a public Anki deck that was supposed to be for Linux Essentials, but ultimately I didn't think those cards helped nearly as much as the ones I made myself. The process of making the cards is important, and the deck I found was all "basic" format (instead of Cloze or Image like I was using). The deck I found had very open-ended questions that lacked context, and I regret wasting time on it instead of just making my own cards from the get-go. In the end, my deck was 835 cards, though that included the rando one I had downloaded. I don't think I use Anki in the most efficient way, so that was probably too many.
• I was able to attend one of the Cohorts and do the online game yesterday, and it was both fun and helpful. So I'd definitely recommend doing that.

Exam:

• I was mildly surprised that there were a few more "pick X of these options" questions than I'd expected. I had thought there'd be 7; by my count, I had 9.
• In case you aren't aware, there are about 3 fill-in-the-blank questions on the exam. They only ask for one word, though. The practice exams do not have these types of questions. However, since I had no idea until yesterday that this was even a question type, I wanted to put that out there, since some people might get thrown off by a question type they're not expecting.
• I did my exam at a testing center and it felt like a damn vacation. I managed to show up precisely on time for the first and probably only time in my entire life. It was, just extremely nice people, free parking, free locker for my stuff, a nice sunny window in the testing room, everything was very clean and bright. I wish I could take all the OAs that way!
• I've taken the Dion and Cisco and Study Guide practice tests so many times they run together, so it's hard to say exactly which questions came from where, but I was surprised that a lot of the questions on the exam were verbatim from the pool of practice tests I'd been using.
• In general, I think Dion's exams were a little bit easier than the actual exam and Cisco's were a little bit harder. Dion tends to have some goofy or humorous "distracter" wrong answer options (which, frankly, I appreciate because this was generally extremely boring material to me, sorry), but the other practice exams I took were all srsbiz. Also, since Cisco's unit tests are specialized to each topic, I think they go into greater depth than the actual exam might.
• In the end, I think I did substantially better on the exam than I had on the Cisco material, so I'd say that Cisco over-prepares you a tiny bit and that's probably what you want, right?
• I was so psyched about the "Command Named Su" and never even got to use it. :(

Recommendations:

• I am sure the best actual approach is to have and use Linux daily via the command line, or perhaps to be bo(u)rn(e) to a family fluent in C and grow up speaking Bash or C as your native language... but failing that, I'd start with the Cisco course (Link). It's fantastic that it's FREE. Note that about once a week they take it down for an annoyingly long maintenance window, but still. Each unit test is only 10 questions, and it doesn't actually tell you what the "right" answers are if you get them wrong, so it's extremely hard to get through a unit without having a good understanding of the material.
• If you're not familiar with the CLI, definitely try the game I linked above. It's really cool. Actually, try it even if you are, it's just a fun way to practice.
• If you can figure out where the practice tests went for the LPI Linux Essentials Study Guide: Exam 010 v.16 (by Bresnahan and Blum), they are fairly useful, but they are also very, very similar to the Cisco course.
• It took me some time to figure out that the Dion course on Udemy is really two courses. One has videos and 2 practice exams, one is just 6 practice exams. Between the two courses, there are 8 practice exams. I took all of them multiple times and thought they were really good practice. I tried feeding the exams to Chat GPT and asking it to generate new questions, but it didn't work very well (they were too easy / just reworded, etc).
• I love Anki, though I guess it might not work for everybody, and don't take a shortcut; make your own flashcards.
• A lot of the material that seems to be floating around about this exam is redundant to the big boring book and the Cisco course. So I think it probably matters to just find a format you enjoy, or at least that you can stand (e.g., video, course, whatever) and stick with it all the way through.
• The thing that helped the most for me, in terms of both trying to stay sane and memorizing the material, was trying to turn it into something fun and interesting. I actually began to enjoy the process of studying once I started making stupid / weird / traumatizing AI art images. I am sure a smarter person than myself (which is most of you) would've probably figured that out a lot faster.
• The real kernel is the soul-crushing boredom we found along the way. Right?

OK, onward and upward. Hope this helps somebody out.

Hey all, I'm a new 4KP Attack from Mars owner, but not new to virtual pinball. I'm sure you've all seen the discourse, but many people aren't thrilled with the lag on the 4KP right now, myself included.
Opinions here seem to range from "this is not a problem, calm down" to "native Zen tables are literally unplayable." I land somewhere in between.
I've had some free time over the last week, so here you go: an unnecessarily in-depth look at the state of input lag on the 4KP as of early May 2024. Everything was measured the week of 5/6.
Ideally, my setup is going to be mostly used for OTG play from my PC with Popper as the front end, so my main goal with this process was to calculate the 4KP hardware's "added lag," which I'm defining as lag above and beyond what I get when using a wired keyboard and low latency gaming monitor.
I don't want to bury the lede too much, so let me put some of my conclusions up near the top:

• OTG input lag is noticeable, and IMO is a problem*, especially with Pinball FX.
• Native non-Zen table input lag is excellent.
• Native Zen table input lag is a problem*, and is roughly 2.75 times higher than non-Zen table input lag.
• The 4KP hardware seems to be adding roughly 35-60ms (average ~43ms) of total input lag on OTG VPX as compared to a keyboard + gaming monitor setup.
• Added OTG input lag is being introduced both from button to PC (~10-15ms) and from PC to playfield (~35-35ms).

*I'm defining "being a problem" as lag significant enough to cause some completely missed hits and ball drains. In other words, the issue isn't just needing to learn new timing for precision shots. Basically, situations where my reflexes are fast enough, but the hardware isn't.
Measurement
What matters in virtual pinball is total input lag or latency, as measured from button press to flip. That means I'm not looking at, for example, VPX's self-reported video latency.
For measurement I used high frame rate video, which is really the best way to measure total latency with the actual vpin software in a real world use situation. I used the iOS app Is it Snappy? with my iPhone 15 Pro Max. The phone can do 240 frames per second for a frame duration of ~4.2ms. In the app, you tag the frame where the flipper button was pressed and the frame where flipper motion is first seen, giving us a maximum measurement error of ±~8.4ms, but likely much lower.
To standardize as much as possible, when tagging the input frame I tagged the frame that best represented the button being fully pressed. This goes both for the 4KP flipper button and the keyboard button. This seemed like the best way to be consistent from measurement to measurement. I'll also note that doing this errs on the conservative/low side since both flipper buttons and keyboard keys are actuated before they are fully pressed. So the "true" input lag should be slightly higher even than I'm reporting.
I measured a lot of variables that ended up not making a meaningful difference for my setup. Direct X VPX vs Open GL VPX - didn't seem to matter. DisplayPort to HDMI cable vs HDMI to HDMI cable for the playfield - didn't seem to matter. VPX backglass running in .exe mode or not - didn't seem to matter. Having no VPX backglass at all - well this one did seem to show a very small potential gain, but it was within the margin of error.
Your Brain
One last and important bit of context: research seems to show that the human brain perceives anything under 100ms as an instant effect when pressing a button. Source: Google. That may be true in terms of a value judgment of "was that instant?," but we can still feel the difference between, for example, 50ms and 100ms of total lag. We could still set 100ms of total input lag though as a soft target or maximum lag that still feels purely good. For me, somewhere in the 100-125ms range is where it starts to feel sluggish, and somewhere between 125ms and 150ms is definitely where it starts to feel bad. I don't have a firm line on what qualifies as unplayable, and I'll leave that to each of you to decide for yourselves.
Results:
To keep things consistent, my VPX table was this version of Attack From Mars because it was specifically tagged as having fast flips and wasn't a brand new table with all the latest bells and whistles. These numbers represent the average of at least 3 separate measurements.

	Output: Native 4KP	Output: PC to Monitor	Output: PC to Playfield
Native 4KP:
Magic Pixel Tables	~45ms	-	-
Attack from Mars (Effects off)	~125ms	-	-
Attack from Mars (Effects on)	~138ms	-	-
OTG:
Pinball FX (Effects on and off)	-	-	~150ms
VPX w/ keyboard input	-	~88ms	~114ms
VPX w/ 4KP button input	-	~96ms	~131ms

So there you have it: an average of ~131ms of total input lag when playing VPX in OTG mode. The 4KP hardware seems to be adding roughly 10-15ms of lag on the input side and roughly 25-35ms of lag on the output side, for a total of ~35-60ms of added lag. This is definitely falling short of my soft target of 100ms or less of total lag, which explains why OTG play on the 4KP doesn't feel great right now. Pinball FX is especially bad at ~150ms of total lag, which feels borderline unplayable to me. The native Attack from Mars table is similar right now to VPX OTG. If this level of lag doesn't bother you, I'm happy for you, but it definitely bothers me.
A few last notes:

• I did measure a few different tables in VPX, and some did show PC to Monitor w/ keyboard numbers as low as ~50ms. So even within VPX, there is definitely a range of total input lag that we'll experience. Some tables likely will hit that 100ms or less target.
• I didn't want to clutter this up with another column, but measurements did show that running through Popper may introduce some additional input lag. It was in the 8-12ms range, so not enough outside the margin of error that it made me want to investigate in more detail.
• I replaced the stock 4KP flipper buttons with aftermarket gold leaf buttons, and that is what was used in my measurements. They are allegedly more responsive than stock, but I didn't measure that.
• PC specs: Intel i5-12600KF, 32GB DDR4-3600 RAM, NVME SSD, 4070 GPU, custom usb-c keyboard, Acer Nitro monitor-150hz-led-monitor).

Hey everyone! I thought I'd repost this on my new profile (previously u/-Legal-Eagle-) for your reference before it is removed from my old profile. Also, if you find my advice useful, please check out my profile for more advice or tutoring services. Feel free to comment or DM me if you need anything.
With my LSAT and law school admissions journey complete, I wanted to take the time to share my journey and hopefully provide some useful tips along the way. I'm sure you will have heard a lot of what I am about to say a thousand times over, but I thought it might be useful to provide a holistic and comprehensive guide that attempts to bring together some of the best advice that I have picked up throughout this process.
Also, this is meant for anyone and everyone including those who haven't even began to think about the LSAT and those with multiple official exams already under their belt. I am going to use some more specific LSAT jargon meant for those with some familiarity with the test, but there will be many general tips for everyone scattered throughout.
I would like to preface by saying that this is largely based on my own personal experience self-studying, tutoring, and working with others. Please consult with many different sources and do your due diligence as you consider each tip I provide. Without further ado, here is my humble attempt at a guide to the LSAT.
When I first began the LSAT grind, I scored in the low 150s on my diagnostic exam, and while this was disheartening at first, I eventually achieved an official exam score of 174 after approximately 5 months of studying. Since I self-studied for the large majority of my journey, I found myself running into various obstacles and having to continuously refine my roadmap to success. Rather than go through the same process of trial and error that I went through, here is the roadmap outline that I would follow if I were to start all over again from blind diagnostic to test day success:
1. Start with a BLIND Diagnostic Exam:
While this might seem quite obvious to the more experienced of you, many beginners, including myself at the start of this process, do not know where to begin and might be stuck in a paradox of choice. The best way to get started is to take a completely blind practice exam. Try not to expose yourself to any LSAT study materials beforehand and go into the diagnostic exam knowing as little about the exam as possible. You might be tempted to study beforehand to avoid the disappointment of a low diagnostic score, but you must resist this temptation to avoid any misguided preconceptions or bad habits. Through this diagnostic, you will be able to truly identify your foundational strengths and weaknesses which you could and should revisit throughout your studying journey.
2. Decide on your plan of attack:
A mistake that many beginners make after deciding to take the LSAT is jumping into studying without having a structured and thoughtful plan, leading to inefficiencies, lack of focus, and inconsistency. One of the most important factors of success on this exam is the formation of good habits, and you cannot form good habits without a consistent, efficient, and disciplined study plan. There is no one size fits all approach to studying for this exam. However, here are some questions you should ask yourself to find the right plan for you:
What is your goal score? Your answer to this question depends on your long-term goals. Research which law schools would be most suitable for you based on their location, employment data, faculty, administration, student groups, journals, etc. After you put together a tentative list of law schools, look up what their median GPA and median LSAT is for their most recent enrolled class. If your undergraduate GPA (and law schools mainly care about your undergraduate GPA, so do not include any further education) is below their median GPA, then you should probably aim to surpass their median LSAT by at least a few points. However, if your undergraduate GPA is at or above their median GPA, then you should still aim to surpass their median LSAT, but you will still be in a strong position if you score at their median LSAT. After this research, you should have a goal score range by which you can gauge your progress and adjust your studying.
What is your timeline for taking the exam? Setting a timeline for your studying is important to staying focused and disciplined. Decide on which official exam you will be sitting for and then make a study schedule that allows for at least 150-300 hours of studying leading up to the exam. For example, if you are planning to take the August exam, you have approximately 13 weeks to study. Hence, you should dedicate yourself to studying 15-25 hours per week until the exam. Of course, the number of total hours you study depends on your diagnostic score and your goal score, as well as how quickly you progress while studying. If you find that halfway through your study schedule, your score has not substantially improved or you still have to make significant progress to reach your goal score, you may decide to ramp up your study time to 30 hours per week. The most important step here is that you commit to consistent study time, and that you remain flexible as you gauge your progress throughout the journey.
What learning styles/mediums work best for you? This is a matter of both preference and accessibility. Not all learning resources are equally available to everyone. However, many learning programs and materials are becoming increasingly affordable, giving everyone at least some choice in their method of study. Most importantly, you should do research into what your options are and weigh them accordingly. There are a variety of LSAT books available both new and used including but not limited to the LSAT Trainer, the Loophole, and the PowerScore Bibles. Of course, using a book requires a higher degree of discipline and self-accountability. On the other hand, there are a variety of online programs as well which provide a similarly structured curriculum and will even integrate your personal study schedule such as 7Sage and the LSAT Demon. You may even be able to find a relatively inexpensive tutor through Reddit or Wyzant if you require a bit more external accountability or a more personalized approach.
Lastly, what study methods are most effective for you? Everyone should incorporate a mix of foundational concepts, drilling, and practice in their studying, but it's important to recognize which method is most effective for you. Perhaps you find taking PTs (practice tests) garner the greatest score increases. Hence, you should dedicate more study time to taking PTs. Throughout your journey, you should constantly be aware of which study methods are most effective and adjust accordingly.
Once you have definitively answered these questions, you will have prepared yourself to optimize your study time and decrease your exam anxiety. Those preparing for the LSAT might be overwhelmed by the sheer amount of content and their limited timeline, but, by crafting a practical and efficient study plan, you won’t be inundated with content and will be assured that you are making the best use of your time.
3. Learn the Material:
Now that you’ve set yourself up for success, it’s time to actually sit down and do the work. In the following, I’ll outline some of what I found to be the most important strategies and concepts for each section of the exam:
Logical Reasoning:
Logical Reasoning is the core of the LSAT. The lessons learned from this section are essential throughout the exam and need to be learned inside and out. To succeed in this section, you need to learn the language of the test makers, argumentation. Every question contains an argument, and you need to be able to translate those arguments by learning to identify their building blocks: background information, premises, sub-conclusions, and conclusions. Once you’re fluent in argumentation, every stimulus becomes substantially easier to simplify and understand. Second, your argumentation toolbox is not complete without the ability to identify flaws in argumentation. A large proportion of the arguments put forward in LR questions are not foolproof, in fact, some of them are really bad. Additionally, these arguments are only flawed in a limited number of ways, and you need to be able to identify each of the fallacies that the test makers have at their disposal such as ad hominem, causation, and circular reasoning flaws. The ability to identify these flaws will allow you to answer the majority of questions on the exam since, by knowing the flaw, you will be better able to attack it, resolve it, or point it out. Last, but not least, know your question types. There are only a limited number of question types that the test makers will put forward and you can easily look up what these question types are. For each question type, you should have a unique approach and understand what reoccurring signals to look for in the stimulus and answer choices. While I won’t repeat this for the other sections, this is true of every section.
Reading Comprehension:
You will hear from many people that reading comprehension is the hardest section to learn, and this is true in some sense. Success in this section relies on skills that are developed throughout one’s education. However, there are many strategies that can boost your performance and bolster your skills. Developing a reliable shorthand/note-taking system is a priority when learning this section. A shorthand system can reduce the time you spend on questions and also allow you to better retain crucial details. Your system depends on your preferences, strengths, and weaknesses, and discovering your approach will require some trial and error as you test different note-taking strategies. For me, I would write a very short (4-5 words) summary of each paragraph as I finished reading it. I would also utilize the LSAC interface’s highlighters to color code different components of the passage’s argument (e.g., orange = conclusion/main idea). This system was designed in order for me to easily distill the most important aspects of the passage and allow me to easily reference the text for smaller details. There’s no way of getting around this next obstacle though and it has to be faced head on: your reading speed. Reading comprehension requires a balance between reading speed and information retention (i.e., the faster you read, the less information you retain and vice versa). However, if you can increase the speed at which you read without sacrificing any information, there is no downside. That is why I’d recommend reading non-LSAT material in your free time through magazines, novels, and newspapers. Of course, this will help you to both increase your reading speed and your reading stamina. Lastly, this next tip that I utilized during every reading comprehension section I took is more focused on your mindset when approaching the section. No matter what the substance of the article, convince yourself mentally that you are incredibly interested in the subject matter. It may be difficult to trick yourself into enjoying some of the drier topics, but simply telling myself that I wanted to know more about the subject and actively asking questions about the material led to increased focus and closer analysis.
Logic Games:
If you are registered for the June LSAT, then this especially applies to you. If you are planning to take the exam at a later date, you will not have a logic games section, but you should still read the following. These skills as well as previously mentioned skills/tips apply across the entire exam and do not exclusively apply to any one section. First, master formal logic. Your mastery over the rules of formal logic and your ability to apply them is the difference between -5 and -0 on logic games. When I say master, I mean that if someone were to wake you up in the middle of the night and ask you to identify the necessary and sufficient condition in ,”I will not go outside unless it is sunny”, you should be able to answer in under five seconds. This will allow you to easily unravel and represent convoluted language in a significantly more understandable and digestible way. Along with this, develop a foolproof diagramming method that does not consume too much time but also is easily understood in a high-pressure environment. Before I had perfected my diagramming, I would often represent rules, game boards, and pieces in a confusing manner which led to me forgetting about certain aspects of the game or misapplying a rule. Your game diagrams should be compact and excessively clear in what they represent. Logic games are already difficult as is so do not make it more difficult by making a confusing diagram. Last but not least, make deductions. I have heard that some people choose to make deductions as they work through the questions, but I found it much easier to make as many deductions as possible before jumping into the questions. At first, I struggled to uncover key inferences which led to wasted time and wrong answers. However, after diagramming a game, I began to move through each rule one by one, and examined how each interacts with the game board as well as every other rule. Another rule of thumb for making inferences is identifying rules in which a game piece repeats (e.g., “A is before B” and “B is before C” both include B) and seeing if you can uncover any resulting conclusions.
These tips are in no way exhaustive, but I hope that they provided a good overview to guide your studying and help you make incremental improvements.
Step 3: PRACTICE
Now that you have learned all of the fundamentals of each section, it’s time to put them to use. After all, learning all of this material is pointless if you can’t apply it on test day. Practice is an essential component of your test preparation for two primary reasons. First, it allows you to develop a standardized routine. When I say routine, I mean every logistical/strategic aspect of the exam including but not limited to your pre-exam preparation, your logic games diagramming method, your reading comprehension note-taking/shorthand method, time management strategies, and more. You should have deliberated upon, tested, and habituated each of these routines prior to your official exam by implementing them during PTs under test-day conditions. The LSAT is already a very stressful exam so you do not want to waste the precious time you have on exam day thinking about how you should annotate a reading comprehension passage, for example, and tinkering with different strategies. No, your strategies should already be tried and true on exam day. Second, if you never practice taking the exam, you will never know where you need to improve. Taking PTs are incredibly important as they allow you to evaluate your progress and signal which concepts, sections, or questions you need to work on or revisit.
Now, how should you practice? There’s no getting around it. You need to take practice exams under simulated official exam conditions. Set a timer for each section, take the required break between sections, and only use the equipment that will be allowed on test day (i.e., authorized computer, water, scrap paper, writing utensils, etc.). This is the only way for you to estimate how you will perform on test day and accustom yourself to the conditions of the official exam. I completed approximately 2-3 practice exams every week leading up to my official exams. It is even better if you save the more recent practice exams for the week or two before your official exam since those are going to be most similar to your exam. However, it is important that you do not just mindlessly take practice exams which leads me to my next point: blind review.
I know, I know, blind review is extremely time consuming and tedious, but it was essential to my success on this exam. If you do not know what blind review is, it is basically when you do not reveal the correct answers of a practice exam after you have completed it, but instead complete the exam over again by checking and revising your answers. At the end of this process, you will have two scores: your actual score and your blind review score. The main reason for this is that you will now be able to see more clearly where your weaknesses lie. If you corrected a previously incorrect answer during blind review, then you likely got it wrong due to the time constraint or testing anxiety rather than a fundamental misunderstanding of the question. If you failed to catch an incorrect answer during blind review, you need to make it your priority to fully understand your error, analyze the question, and then revisit the concept that the question covers.
Once your weaknesses are exposed during blind review, you can target those weaknesses by reviewing the conceptual material and then drilling the question/game/passage type. If you do not know what I mean by drilling, I mean that you can create and complete custom problem sets that focus on your weakness until you have addressed the weakness.
Step 4: Profit
Now it is time to take your official exam. First, you have to register for the exam and decide on whether you will take it in-person or online. There are benefits and drawbacks to each and you have to decide based on your personal circumstances. For the online format, you are going to need a very quiet room with a strong internet connection. You will need to remove all prohibited material from this room including books, posters, electronics, etc. Additionally, the online proctoring system can be quite a hassle and very finicky. It requires you to download a program prior to test day and then share your screen, video, and audio with a remote proctor. Proctors may interrupt your exam due to compliance issues (e.g., your face is not in full view). Additionally, there is a small but nonzero chance that your exam is placed under review due to suspected noncompliant activity during your exam period and possibly even canceled as a result of said review. However, there are obvious benefits to online testing. You can take the exam in the comfort of your own home if that is an option for you, and you generally have much more control over your environment. You take the exam on a computer of your choice that you are comfortable with. You use your own scrap paper and writing utensils. For the in-person format, there is little to no preparation required beforehand except for scheduling an appointment at a nearby test center and bringing a valid ID. You will be ushered into an office-like room filled with a number of small cubicles. In each cubicle, there will be a desktop with a monitor, mechanical keyboard, and mouse. There will be a pair of noise-canceling headphones, and you will also be given a booklet of scrap paper and writing utensils. A very compelling benefit of the in-person exam is that your exam is much less likely to be placed under review/canceled for suspicious activity. Your test session isn’t recorded and you do not have to connect with a remote proctor. You will not have to worry about the internet connection or whether or not your test-taking equipment is prohibited or not. Basically all you have to do is show up and take the exam. However, there are definitely drawbacks to the in-person exam as well. You will be in a new environment that you are unfamiliar with. There will be the noise of the other test takers in the room with you typing on keyboards, clicking their mouse, coughing, sneezing, leaving/entering the room, etc. There are definitely inconsistencies between the testing centers as well. Some minor, but noticeable issues that I experienced during my in-person exam included audible conversations coming from outside of the room, dark orange scrap paper on which I could barely see pencil marks, dull/broken pencils provided by the testing center, and barely functional noise-canceling headphones. Do not expect the testing centers to be a perfect, controlled environment and anticipate issues/annoyances.
Once you’ve registered and exam day has arrived, it's time to do exactly what you practiced. I would not recommend that you make any last-minute changes to your testing routine/strategies. You have put so much work into perfecting your routine, and it would be a shame to throw that away when it really matters. After about 3 hours, you’ll have officially taken the LSAT. Congratulations! Now, it is a waiting game. Despite the exam taking place on a digital platform and being graded instantly, you will still have to wait about a month to receive your results. It is up to you whether you would like to continue studying during this wait depending on how you felt about your exam performance although I would keep any studying very light. Enjoy your well-deserved break.
Step 5: Score Release
You’ve now waited for what feels like forever and you receive the score for your first official exam. If you reached your goal score, congratulations! You have now finished a crucial component of the law school admissions process. You’re not done yet though. It’s time to start thinking about putting together your law school applications (which I may write another guide about soon). If you did not reach your goal score, don’t worry! Appreciate the fact that you are now more familiar with the official exam process and jump right back into studying/practicing again. If you were very close to your goal score, then I would recommend registering for the soonest upcoming exam and focusing on practicing through drills and PTs. If you were quite far away from your goal score, it might be worth evaluating your weakest sections/question types and jumping back into foundational concepts. Whatever you do, DO NOT cancel your first official exam. First, law schools only really care about your highest exam score, so do better on the next one and this one won’t hurt you. Second, you need to have at least one non-canceled score in order to even apply to law school. Let’s say you cancel your first test and then do even worse on your second test, then what? I would only recommend canceling a score if it is not your first exam (and you did not cancel your first exam) and it is lower than one of your other scores (e.g., you scored a 165 on your first exam and then a 162 on your second).
The End!
I know that was a lot. I could probably think of more to write, but you are probably already overwhelmed with information so I’ll leave the rest to you. I want to reiterate that these are all tips that I’ve picked up over my studying journey and I cannot guarantee a score increase based solely on these tips. After all, the most important thing is that you put in the work yourself and do your own due diligence to find what works best for you. If you have read everything up until now, you may be certifiably insane (the mark of a great law student) and thank you so much for considering what I have had to say. Remember that this is just a small part of your journey. Your LSAT score is not only just a single part of your law school applications, but it is an even smaller part of your career in the legal profession. I am not diminishing the importance of the exam, but please maintain a sensible perspective when you are feeling stressed and anxious about the LSAT. Make sure that you maintain a healthy work-life balance, keep pursuing hobbies and interests that you enjoy, and give yourself a break every once in a while. Your mindset and mental health is half the battle. See you in law school!

Thank you u/SpacePaladin15 for the amazing universe!
l Prologue l Previous l Next l
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Memory transcription subject: Kalsim, Captain, United Federation Fleet
Date [standardized human time]: December 30th, 2136
It became harder and harder to remember why we came in the first place when the simple process of landing on the ground was tantamount to stepping back into the past.
So many of the sensations granted by the asteroid sanctuary, the smells,the sights, the sounds, were so hauntingly familiar. Of flying from treetop to treetop, seeing my non sapient kin fly free of the burden of galactic existence. Of fruits and berries picked right from the stem, carrying with them flavors that bordered on ecstasy. The calls and cries of a nature beaten down time and time again, but still managed to stand back up on its own two legs every single time.
So much of it was familiar, yet so much of it wasn't.
"Kelum, do you recognize that?" referring to the foreign call sounding off in the distance.
He was still trying to process his surroundings, beak poised catch several insects. "Uh...no, I don't."
I turned in the direction of its source. "Neither do I."
"What about that bird from earlier?"
The one that flew by the viewport? "Didn't recognize that one either."
"Shit then." Kelum slowly returned to guard mode as he began sweeping his rifle over the foliage. "Your the big history guy here, I'm relying on you. What does it mean that you don't know?"
"Well, maybe call it a gap in my knowledge..." my attention was caught by a strange cluster of berries perched on a nearby bush. Collected in bunches, the fruits were oblong, almost cylindrical, orange with black spots across the skin. The aroma was sweet and tangy, something I knew several officers on the Lyakuda would love to use as an air freshener. And it was entirely unrecognizable.
Yet some base instinct inside of me said that it belonged. That it all belonged. That the ferns and grasses adn the strange noises that seemed foreign to my home were in fact an integral part of this one. There was song being played that I couldn't quiet yet hear, but I knew was there. Whether it was one that I would enjoy was still up for debate.
"Captain?"
"Wuh?" I spun around to see Kelum checking me with a look of concern.
"You kinda zoned out there for a sec. Are you alright?"
"Sorry, I was just thinking." I stepped back from the bush and into the clearing. "I...don't know what to make of this. This place..."
Kelum shrugged. "Couldn't tell you either cap. I'm just along for the ride at this point."
"All I need you to do is to keep that gun raised, just in case." Some part of me said that it would be unnecessary. After all, the Federation wiped out any native species that posed even the slightest threat to a krakotl. And by all means, this place seemed like Nishtal. But then again...
A sharp cry grabbed the silence and violently broke it over its knee. More like a wail, piercing in its effect, little needles in our eardrums that seemed to stab more and more as the seconds dragged along. The pitch never faltered, even as the cry let the background jungle settle back into its normal rhythm. I looked over to see Kelum taking deep breaths, before I realized I was too.
"Cap, what the fuck was that?" For the first time since we arrived, tendrils of genuine fear seemed to creep into Kelum's voice. At the very least, he was never letting go of that rifle ever again.
"I don't know, I never heard that before either."
"Well I need you to start knowing right fucking now, cause I don't like that shit, not one bit."
"Neither do I, but we need to remain calm. Now's not the time to start acting like Sivkit," another awful wail echoed in the further distance, "so keep that rifle up."
Kelum didn't need to be told twice. "Maybe we shouldn't stick around. Maybe we've seen everything we've needed to see."
Some part of me agreed with him. You didn't need to be a prey to not be comfortable sharing a space with whatever made that sound. And I don't think that's all this place has in store for us. For better and for worse...
"We saw those buildings. We were just in that observation room. This place is more than just a sanctuary. We need to keep going."
Kelum raised a talon in argument, faltered, then sighed. "If I die here, I'm gonna fucking kill you cap."
That somehow raised a chuckle out of me. "Glad to see your still you."
"You drag me to the gallows, least you can do is let me get the last laugh in." Kelum pushed past me and began sifting through the undergrowth. "I'll lead. I think the town was this way."
Directions, thankfully, weren't going to be an issue. Despite its gargantuan size, the sanctuary appeared to have a pretty simple layout. A giant circle, with the town at the center, surrounded on all sides by thick jungle. All we had to do was walk forward. If only if it was that simple.
I did manage to recognize many of the plants that composed the flora, only due to their absence on the Nishtal I knew. The undergrowth there was absolutely sparse in comparison to here, mostly thanks to the Federation's anti predator efforts. Without natural balances to keep them in check, the native herbivores of Nishtal went wild, stripping the ground level nearly down to the very soil itself. If not for our geoengineering tech, the planet would've suffered an ecological collapse that would've made the Cradle look like hiccup in comparison.
This place seemed to suffer no such issues. Great for the local ecosystem, terrible for us. For not only was it hot, not only was it humid, we had to push through vine and bramble so thick it was nearly impossible to squeeze through. It didn't help that the we seemed to be heading down a slope, so the atmosphere only got thicker as we descended further. It came to the point where I almost considered stripping off my vest so I wouldn't die of heatstroke on the spot. Thankfully we came across a small clearing, which gave us the opportunity to catch our breaths.
"How close do you think we are?" I asked between pulls of impossibly humid air.
"Don't know, but we have to be close." Kelum looked up to the 'sky', where the 'sun' had really reached its zenith. "Hard to tell, but we're definitely making progress."
"Stars above, whatever this is must be worth it."
"Better fucking be. Not dying of thirst on some secret asteroid zoo run by...fuck I don't know. You said you thought it was someone up high who contacted you?"
"Yeah, but that was just a confident guess."
He chuckled. "Maybe this is just his private resort or something. They definitely have the money to hollow out an asteroid. Maybe there will be a pool and a bar on the other side of this bush."
I had to admit, the possibility was funny. "If this was just a roundabout way for Nikonus to invite me over for a drink, I swear to the stars above I'll glass Aafa myself."
Kelum laughed. "Glad to hear your in a good mood cap."
"I'm not."
He stood up, ready to get on the move again. "At least you know what a joke is. Did you know I used to work for Jerulim? Head so far up his ass he forgot what-"
The rustle from a nearby bush cut off Kelum's admiration of our ambassador. He trained the rifle on the source, talon itching to let the weapon bark. The pistol in my holster gained a newfound presence as something began to emerge from within the shadows.
"Alright then, come at me you...oh."
The creature that caused us so much worry turned out to be a small lizard, scales verdant, barely the length of my wing. It crawled from underneath the bush and across the dark earth of the clearing. It took a moment to regard us with two beady side facing eyes, before it began on its way once more.
Kelum lowered the rifle, and began breathing once again. "Damn, little buddy there gave me a-"
Before he had a chance to finish, a rush of air came from behind, and a flash of green and gold plucked the lizard off the ground right in front of our eyes. Before we had a chance to fully process what just happened, the bird was away, propelling itself skyward, the unfortunate lizard grasped firmly in its talons.
We stared dumbly as the...predator ascended, then leveled out, before finally disappearing behind the canopy. Kelum went to say something several times, but each attempt only seemed to point his rifle closer and closer to the ground. Finally, he turned to face me directly, his face the farthest point from comprehension it could possibly go.
"Cap, did that..." he didn't need to finish his sentence. I was still struggling to construe it, but we both saw the same thing.
"Yes, it did."
Kelum nodded his head, before turning it back to the sky. "It did..."
As the shock of the lizard being hunted wore off, I managed to have some thoughts on the situation. This place is definitely not the Nishtal I know. The Federation would never let a bird like that exist in any form besides ash. Yet here it was, in a facility no doubt constructed by the Federation. Is that what the note writer wanted us to see?
"Cap?" I turned to see Kelum once again wear that worried expression. "Any ideas?"
"I...don't know. Maybe this is...some sort of facility to study predators? An isolated environment, far from any inhabited planet, where they won't pose any danger?"
Kelum sighed. "I think that's the best we got right now. But that still doesn't explain the town."
"No, it doesn't." At this point, I was worried that the distant collection of buildings we saw would only serve to raise even more questions. Who lives there? More krakotl? kolshians? Is it empty? But standing around wouldn't answer any questions. It'll kill us, given everything we've seen so far. "Kelum, we have to keep moving."
"Yeah, your right, but with all this..." He paused, before looking at me, then himself. "Are we stupid?"
"Uh...what do you mean."
"Cap, we're birds."
"Yes, but..."
"...oh..."
We had become so enamored with our surroundings that we completely forgot the fact that we could fly.
"Yeah, oh." Kelum slung his rifle over his shoulders, and extended his wings out to their full length. "Hopefully we can just fly right over all of this shit."
"Good thinking, wish we thought of-" Another rustle caught my attention, this time from the nearest tree. In the shadowed canopy far above, I could just barely make out something slinking among the branches.
Earth and debris began to swirl as Kelum went airborne. "Something wrong Cap?"
"Nothing, it's just..." Another branch moved, then fell entirely still. Out of all things, why does this seem so...
And then all at once, days spent at the academy flooded back. Memories of illegal histories and textbooks downloaded over the internet, of countless nights spent secretly learning my peoples true history, of why the Federation even considered us prey in the first place.
Oh no.
"Kelum, KELUM!"
"Cap, wha-"
My yell was enough for Kelum to falter, just enough so that the blur that leapt out of the tree missed him by a feathers width. It landed on a trunk opposite to me, claws sharper than an Arxurs digging into the bark. Its earthen fur, which camouflaged it amidst the foliage, now stood on its ends. A growl gurgled from between its barred teeth, and four forward facing eyes trained directly on me.
For a moment we stared each other down, as we both processed the fact that we were seeing specters. My breath caught, my wings were shaking, and I couldn't focus. Partly out of fear, partly out of the impossibility of the whole situation.
Your supposed to be dead. The Federation killed you, they killed ALL of you.
But it didn't care much for the Federation. It only cared about me. Because it was the predator, and I was now its prey.
It launched off the trunk, almost defying gravity as it crossed the gap at a nearly imperceptible speed. I tried to dodge out of the way, but I only managed halfway before an unfathomable pain flashed across my chest and sent my spinning into the earth.
Something warm and sticky filled the space between my vest and chest as my vision faded in and out. Loud pops sounded off one after another, fully killing the already injured silence. That terrible wail once again echoed distantly, cut off by another pop, and the calm returned once again. Shadows invaded the corners of my vision, threatening to overtake everything. As the false sun dispapeared behind Kelum, consciousness finally slipped away.
The pain was the first thing to greet me, followed by the contradiction of the relatively cool air. The battle between them, the pounding agony and the soothing cold, was what awoke me from my imposed slumber.
Fluttering my eyes met we with large splotches of grey and gold, spattered over my vision like spilled buckets of paint. It took several moments for everything to gain defintion, while another spot of blue went back and forth across my sight.
K...Kelum?
Something I did caught his attention, for he stopped in his tracks and immediately came to my side.
"Captain....Cap...can you hear me?"
"I...Kelum?"
"Yeah, yeah, Cap, it's me. It's Kelum."
"Kelum..."
Kelum was standing over me, fatigue dragging at his features. His talons, his wings, his vest, all of him was smeared with violet. Looking behind him revealed that we were in some sort of cave, orange light cascading through the distant entrance. The rock reflected it all, granting the scene an almost...magmatic appearence. Like everything was going to melt right on top of us and burn us alive. My chest already felt much that way anyways.
"Stars above, your awake. I thought you weren't gonna make it."
I managed to look down to see that I was entirely naked, spare for the fithly fabrics wrapped tightly around my chest. They, along with the feathers surrounding it, was also stained a pugent violet.
"Kelum," a cough sent bolts of pain running across my chest.
"Take it easy, Cap, take it easy." Kelum pressed a talon on my shoulder to keep me from gettiing up. "It got you pretty good. You lost a lot of blood."
"Wha...what happened." My memory was still fuzzy, no more defined than my vision mere moments ago. All that was there were feelings, of fear, pain, confusion, and in some small note, even awe.
"That...that thing, it almost got me. If you hadn't had called out, I...fuck, that fall would've done most of the work." Kelum's brevity was all but gone, leaving behind a bloodied, anxious wreck. "And then it pounced on you, got you across the chest. There was so much blood, I thought you were going to..." He trailed off as he considered the possibility. It was still a possibility.
"Hey," I managed weakly. "I'm still here. It hasn't got me yet."
Kelum managed to regain some of his composure. "I...had to use your vest as a bandage. I don't know how long it'll hold, but it's stopped the bleeding for now."
I looked down at my chest again. Somewhere beneath the tattered remains of my uniform laid a gash that nearly ended my life. There was a momentary urge to peel back the fabric to see how bad it was, but that would only hasten things at that point.
"Kelum...if I don't make it..."
"Cap, don't say that."
"Kelum, it's my job as a captain to realistically assess the situation we find ourselves in. And the fact is that I can't fly. I don't even know if I can walk. Odds are that more of those Dakquo are roaming around out there, along with stars know what else. If this," I pointed to my bandage, "doesn't get me, everything else will."
"Cap..." Kelum didn't want to accept it, but I could see that he knew it was true. I was living on borrowed time.
"Kelum, for what it's worth, I wouldn't have chosen anyone else to come with me. Even in this place, you've flown above and beyond the call of duty. And for that, thank you."
Kelum couldn't help a tear from rolling down his cheek, one which he quickly wiped away, leaving behind a little smear of purple. "Thanks cap, it's been an honor serving with you too."
Kelum stood over me for a long moment, before setting down beside me. He glanced deeper into the tunnel , before turning back to face the entrance. "Cap?"
"Yeah?" My breathing was beginning to grow more ragged.
"You mentioned a Dakquo? Was that..."
"Yeah, it was."
Another moment of silence.
It's ironic, isn't it.
"It was a predator from before the Federation arrived. It likes to hide up in the trees, waiting for something to fly past. That's when it pounces. I...became fasncinated with it in my youth. To think, such a powerful creature once roamed our home, that we coexisted with it peacefully for so long. And in an instant, the Federation took it all away. I never thought I would see one. I was never suppsoed to see one. They're supposed to be all dead."
Kelum took another glance back.
"So when I saw it there, about to pounce, a small part of me couldn't help but feel amazed. Something they took from us, something that once defined who we were. And there it was, right in front of my eyes."
I coughed again, and pain roared back once more. Kelum gripped me tighly as it slowly faded, but didn't fully disppear. I didn't have long. Hours, maybe a day or two at the most.
I looked down at the wrap. A small bead of blood peeked out from the wound, which I picked up on the tip of my talon. It glowed pink under the fading light.
"It's funny. It only took a thousand years, but things are finally back to normal."
Kelum glanced back once more.
"Kelum, what are you looking at?"
"I.." he blinked, "I've been trying to ignore it, but there's down the tunnel there."
"What do you mean? Is it-"
"It's not alive, but..." his look said it might has well been. "I'm gonna check it out."
"I'm coming with you." I moved to stand up, but Kelum placed a talon on my shoulder.
"Your not going anywhere cap. Walking around isn't gonna do you any good."
"Like sitting here is." Ignoring my wound scremaing murder, I stood up, and balanced myself on two shaky legs. "I'm not sitting this out. Not anymore."
"But cap-"
"Kelum, I came here because it was a choice I could make. Let me make this one too."
Kelum moved to protest, but only managed to sigh. He unholstered my pistol, and handed it off to me. "If you die now, I'm gonna kill you cap."
That managed a frail chcukle out of me. "Glad to see your still you."
"Fuck, I'm glad too."
Every step was like ten years spent on a cattle farm, but I was able to at least walk. We began slowly creeping deeper into the cave, with Kelum bringing up his weapon light against the encroaching darkness. It revealed something only barely visible from our previous spot, a set of...bones. Inching closer showed that the corpse wasn't of a bird, or that lizard, or even the Dakquo. Rather...
"Wait..." Kelum pasued his light on the skull, where two forward facing sokcets stared back. The snout was elongated, housing row upon row of razor sharp teeth. It rested near what remained of the creatures long tail...and the hands...
"No way..."
Kelum turned his light on one of the hands. Four fingers, and...two thumbs.
"That can't be possible." Kelum swept the light to the other arm, and the story was the same. Four fingers, two thumbs. "No, this can't be right."
It wasn't supposed to be possible, but it was. It was staring us right in the face, with sockets that housed eyes that once terrfied the entire galaxy.
"It's an arxur."
Before we even had time to process the discovery, noises from back where we came caught our attention. Kelum turned towards the light, rifle raised in anticiaption of another attack. I raised my pistol, before a flash of agony nearly sent me to the ground. Something tore, something seperated, and my chest suddenly began to feel too warm. I looked down to see that the bandage had gone loose, and the blood was beginning to run free.
"Oh shit, Kalsim, hold on!"
"It's fine...it's fine." I lowered to the ground as Kelum began frantically ripping off his own vest. The blood was running in little rivers between my feathers as my gaurd despratley tried to stem the flow. But it wasn't working this time. Even with mine and his, the makeshift dressing wasn't enough to prevent what was coming now.
Everything began to fade, Kelums deseperate pleas for me to stay awake, the approaching footsteps, what sounded like voices, all rapdily consumed by the encroaching fog. Even the pain, which seemed to slink away with every passing second.
It was so...peaceful. Even as Kelum began to shake me, even as he was thrown aside by a shadowed figure, I wasn't afraid. Maybe I lost the capacity to be afraid. The path set for me left me liable to be shot or annihilaited at any given moment. I long accepted the inevitability of my death, but I was no hurry to greet it. And now here I was, knocking on the door.
The darkness envloped me entirely, and sensation quickly fell away. Just as I crossed the threshhold, one final thought occured to me:
At least it was all my fault.
l Prologue l Previous l Next l

Hello! Hope your day is going well! Bet you are awesome!As you can see i don't create alot of posts, i mostly reply to stuff or DM people to chat. So on to why you're really here.
I'm 41,male watches 99% of people reading this so here and leave ,i live on the eastern USA, tend to be more a night person, LGTBQ+ friendly (even if not a member myself). I'm child free but love my furkids. I'm a extrovert with not terribly many people to talk to regularly.
My Interests - Gaming,D&D, reading, anime, the paranormal, beer,food, history, talking to new folks and generally connecting.
What I'm looking for- 18+ (obv), atleast a few common interests, a person able to hold a convo cause I'm not trying to be the only one holding things up lol, being willing to use Discord(I will not download nor do I use any other app, sorry) if we get along cause reddit app is a potato. People not annoyed by "emoting" in * * early 2000s style, cause honestly so much context and nuance is lost in cold hard text and i do it alot. Lastly if you're not feeling the convo or don't think I'm what you're looking for then just tell me. Ghosting a person makes you rude.
What gets you not answered by default- very short introductory DMs ("Hey' "hi" etc), a post history full of mostly nsfw posts
Bonus points- Willing to exchange pix to put face to personality if we get along!
Hope to hear from you!

Hello! Hope your day is going well! Bet you are awesome!As you can see i don't create alot of posts, i mostly reply to stuff or DM people to chat. So on to why you're really here.
I'm 41,male watches 99% of people reading this so here and leave ,i live on the eastern USA, tend to be more a night person, LGTBQ+ friendly (even if not a member myself). I'm child free but love my furkids. I'm a extrovert with not terribly many people to talk to regularly.
My Interests - Gaming,D&D, reading, anime, the paranormal, beer,food, history, talking to new folks and generally connecting.
What I'm looking for- 18+ (obv), atleast a few common interests, a person able to hold a convo cause I'm not trying to be the only one holding things up lol, being willing to use Discord (iwill not download nor do I use any other app, sorry)if we get along cause reddit app is a potato. People not annoyed by "emoting" in * * early 2000s style, cause honestly so much context and nuance is lost in cold hard text and i do it alot. Lastly if you're not feeling the convo or don't think I'm what you're looking for then just tell me. Ghosting a person makes you rude.
What gets you not answered by default- very short introductory DMs ("Hey' "hi" etc), a post history full of mostly nsfw posts
Bonus points- Willing to exchange pix to put face to personality if we get along!
Hope to hear from you!

Hello! Hope your day is going well! Bet you are awesome!As you can see i don't create alot of posts, i mostly reply to stuff or DM people to chat. So on to why you're really here.
I'm 41,male watches 99% of people reading this so here and leave ,i live on the eastern USA, tend to be more a night person, LGTBQ+ friendly (even if not a member myself). I'm child free but love my furkids. I'm a extrovert with not terribly many people to talk to regularly.
My Interests - Gaming,D&D, reading, anime, the paranormal, beer,food, history, talking to new folks and generally connecting.
What I'm looking for- 18+ (obv), atleast a few common interests, a person able to hold a convo cause I'm not trying to be the only one holding things up lol, being willing to use Discord (I will not download nor do I use any other app, sorry)if we get along cause reddit app is a potato. People not annoyed by "emoting" in * * early 2000s style, cause honestly so much context and nuance is lost in cold hard text and i do it alot. Lastly if you're not feeling the convo or don't think I'm what you're looking for then just tell me. Ghosting a person makes you rude.
What gets you not answered by default- very short introductory DMs ("Hey' "hi" etc), a post history full of mostly nsfw posts
Bonus points- Willing to exchange pix to put face to personality if we get along!
Hope to hear from you!

Hello! Hope your day is going well! Bet you are awesome!As you can see i don't create alot of posts, i mostly reply to stuff or DM people to chat. So on to why you're really here.
I'm 41,male watches 99% of people reading this so here and leave ,i live on the eastern USA, tend to be more a night person, LGTBQ+ friendly (even if not a member myself). I'm child free but love my furkids. I'm a extrovert with not terribly many people to talk to regularly.
My Interests - Gaming,D&D, reading, anime, the paranormal, beer,food, history, talking to new folks and generally connecting.
What I'm looking for- 18+ (obv), atleast a few common interests, a person able to hold a convo cause I'm not trying to be the only one holding things up lol, being willing to use Discord(I will not download nor do I use any other app, sorry)if we get along cause reddit app is a potato. People not annoyed by "emoting" in * * early 2000s style, cause honestly so much context and nuance is lost in cold hard text and i do it alot. Lastly if you're not feeling the convo or don't think I'm what you're looking for then just tell me. Ghosting a person makes you rude.
What gets you not answered by default- very short introductory DMs ("Hey' "hi" etc), a post history full of mostly nsfw posts
Bonus points- Willing to exchange pix to put face to personality if we get along!
Hope to hear from you!