context

I met my current Girlfriend on a videogame several years ago. We were young and dated for a week maybe and i got overwhelmed by her clinginess and we eventually parted ways for a few years, only messaging a few times here and there. We didn't learn much about each other, so we were aquainted strangers for a while.
I isolated a lot due to covid but also anxiety of going back out into public. So i always had a lot of time to myself to think. I developed my thoughts and opinions as i stared out the window to the world. I matured a lot. And towards the end i refound my passion for philosophy, spirituality and got deeper into jungian psychology.
Over the past several months i felt very light, or golden. It almost felt like the life path ahead of me was an angelic one, im meant to do great for the sake of others. Maybe im just conceited or egotistical tho.

middle period

This girl though, decides to text me more. Happens to go through a breakup with a bad ex. And she came to me after she got back from the mental hospital. I happened to be there when she was very low. Over time i pulled her out of that bad state and got her over her ex.
We fall in love again.
Since i was always isolated i gave up on searching for relationships, i thought i should just focus on being the best i can so i can start on good footing when i got myself into a relationship. I felt as though i shouldn't force it regardless or seek it out too much. So i didn't. I trusted that it would figure itself out. And it did.
On this second time with her though, I've been able to learn much more about her. And I've realized that she is almost a mirror version of myself, just delt a worse hand in life.

Coincidences or synchronicities?

Now, nothing is super synchronous yet but its been really trippy the more we talk.
We think the exact same thoughts at the same time.
Almost everytime i open my phone shes texting me.
We know what each other are about to say pretty often
Similar tastes in food.
Same opinions and similar interests.
Exact same goals and aspirations.
Her mother and my mother have the same birthday.
We both have similarities in our appearance.
Both want kids, and both ideally want a boy and girl.
Both have had similar problems in childhood
Both have add/adhd ish
Both have siberian huskies
And many more
I also had a dream about her and she showed me something i saw in my dream

more thoughts

We are so very similar. And every time we interact i feel theres always something that happens that is so oddly specific and coincidental that they're not ordinary coincidences. This has never happened to me with anyone else before.
I felt like i was meant to be there for her when i was. I constantly feel like something put us here and like I'm supposed to be with her.
I constantly saw and still see messages that say "if you're meant to be you'll end up back with each other" or ideas similar. Like some kind of omen. These same things, even verses about love in the bible keep reappearing in random places.
Its all so strange but sweet at the same time. But I'm going to trust it.
Lemme know your thoughts! What kind of meaning might this have? Is it more normal than i think it is?

LOOOONG first time trip report! 5/13-5/18, stayed at Beach Club, visited all four parks, bought Genie+ every day, had the standard DDP. Family of 4, two girls 5 and 9. I learned so much from this group over the past year and especially loved trip reports, so hopefully this post will be helpful to someone!
💲BUDGET💲
-- I booked the trip a year out so I could break it up into 12 manageable payments. I opened the no fee Disney VISA, which gives you several months of no interest on charges made towards Disney travel packages, rewards dollars to use at Disney, and a couple other perks like character meet and greets and discounts.
-- I signed up for Disney Movie Insiders. This is what you're supposed to do with all those little codes that come in Disney DVDs/Blurays. You enter the codes in exchange for points, and at 1000 points, you can redeem for a $10 Disney gift card. You also get points for being subscribed to Disney+, seeing Disney movies in the theater, their social media accounts, and a whole bunch of other things. I got $50 in gift cards from this alone.
-- If you want Disney-themed luggage, try thinking outside the box to save money! I got plain luggage in Mickey colors--red and black--and Mickey luggage tags to make them Disney themed.
-- I tried to budget for souvenirs via gift cards... but I failed, lol. Everything is so expensive, $100 is gone in a second. Plushes are like $40, coffee cups are $20, etc. Whatever you're planning to spend, double it! I get what people say about most shops having the same stuff, but it's definitely not all of them, most of the ones post-ride have unique stuff. And honestly it's kind of nice most of them have the same stuff, if you want to get whatever your kid was asking for earlier, you don't have to walk all the way back to the one shop you saw it at.
-- We paid for Memory Maker and I'm on the fence about it. On the one hand, it's really nice to get all the ride photos and meet and greet photos and magic shots. It's also really nice for the whole family to be in a lot of pictures and not have to swap with the other adult or find someone willing to take your picture. On the other, we definitely didn't utilize it as much as I wanted to because a lot of the photographers had pretty long lines and I just didn't want to spend time waiting for a picture I could take myself. If we came across someone with a shortish or no line, we made sure to get it, but for anyone with a long line, we just stood around the same spot and took our own.
🗓️PLANNING🗓️
-- If you have kids and live within easy driving distance of another amusement park, highly recommend making a visit BEFORE going to Disney to get an idea of how they handle that kind of day/environment, especially if they have never been. I quickly discovered we would absolutely need a stroller and I would need to be militant with the kids about staying hydrated. Also to avoid face paint, as heat + tears + paint + eyes = bad day! I felt so much better making these discoveries beforehand and being able to prepare accordingly, rather than making them at Disney.
-- USE AN AGENT! An agent is free to you, so why not have the help? Ours was amazing, she gave us quotes, booked the package, rebooked as needed later when a better deal came out, made all the payments, dining and extra reservations, and was just all-around awesome to work with. It was such a load off to know I wasn't on my own with all this stuff.
-- Watch everything Ear Scouts. No one explains Genie+ better, and Rob and Erick's videos are just so positive and beautiful and well done.
-- I also enjoyed reading Disney Tourist Blog--lovingly snarky but super informative!--and Disney Food Blog for fun tips and news.
-- I didn't find any park to be a half day park, we filled our whole day in every one and still didn't see everything!
-- My kids did really well, whenever they were on the verge of cranky, we had one ride in the stroller for a while, bought a snack (usually ice cream or popcorn), and used the bubble wand, and/or gave them some ibuprofen, and everyone felt better pretty quick. We never tried to do fireworks, we were all done by 8 so always left after dinner. The only park we closed down was EPCOT because we didn't get out of dinner until after close, and that was a really cool experience, the park was so quiet and empty and beautiful!
-- You don't NEED a Magic Band... but man, was it convenient. We just had 1.0 Magic Bands though, we didn't bother with the 2.0s.
-- I guess moving through security fast is important to people rope dropping... but as someone who didn't, it added like maybe 30 seconds to a minute to the experience the couple times my bag got flagged, it's really not a big deal.
-- I'm not saying anyone's lying about bad experiences or exaggerating or anything, but try to remember that far more people go on the Internet to complain than they do to praise. I got so stressed about all the things that could go wrong, and we had a pretty much perfect trip. The only attraction that broke down on us was Muppetvision, of all things. The only "bad behavior" we witnessed was the morning we were leaving, we could hear a dad across the hall yelling at his family, I think they overslept and were going to miss their flight or something? We just turned the TV on so we didn't have to hear him. A couple times we forgot to take our stuff with us when we parked our stroller or forgot some food in it, and neither people nor animals bothered it. The only dicey thing that happened to us was me dropping my phone into the Dumbo moat, the cast members fished it out and it still worked, I sent them a cast compliment for all their help! All the cast members were great, I'm not really sure what people expect but IMO they all do amazing for having to be peppy and helpful all day in absolutely blazing heat, walking a ride conveyer belt nonstop, repeating the same spiels over and over, meeting person after person, etc. I wouldn't last a 2 hour shift let alone 8. Cast members, you rock!!!
✈️TRAVEL✈️
-- We flew Delta, flight there was flawless, flight home was delayed by an hour waiting for crew and was a little bumpy (which is not great for a nervous flyer like me) but otherwise fine.
-- Get TSA PreCheck! Good for a few years, if the adults have it the kids have it too. It made the whole experience so much easier. That said, even PreCheck still moves kind of slow at MCO, so definitely get there at least 2 hours early for your flight. Use curbside check-in for bags, way faster than the long line inside!
-- On our agent's recommendation, we used Away We Go for ground transport in Orlando. They communicate really well, both ways were flawless, no complaints!
-- We used Minnie Vans to get to Animal Kingdom + Sanaa and Magic Kingdom, what a wonderful service! Definitely pricey, but they had cartoons on in the car, booster seats they set up for you, and the drivers were so nice and friendly and had fun trivia to share. I never had any problem requesting one when I needed it.
⛱️BEACH CLUB⛱️
-- We knew we wanted an onsite hotel where you could walk to at least one park. This pretty much limits you to a handful of Deluxe hotels or the Swan and Dolphin. Beach Club won for us because it's "in the Disney bubble" and you can walk to 2/4 parks. Note that while you can technically walk to Hollywood Studios, it is a LOOOONG walk. The boat is a nice not crowded alternative! We did not make use of Early Entry or Extended Hours, we're just not built for either. Beach Club was lovely, we booked a resort view but I think we ended up with a water view, we were right by the quiet pool and could see the water beyond from our room. Stormalong Bay was a little crazy for us but we loved the quiet pool. Best thing about Beach Club though is the location, EPCOT is literally steps away!
🌳ANIMAL KINGDOM🌳
-- We had read that there's really no bad day to do AK, so we started there. We rode: Navi River Journey, Flight of Passage, Kali River Rapids, Everest, Kilimanjaro Safaris, Triceratops Spin, and Dinosaur--so pretty much everything! With Genie+ we walked onto all of them. We also met Moana, Pocahontas, and Russell! The only thing we didn't do here that we wanted to was the Gorilla Falls trail, but we just ran out of time before the park closed.
🌐EPCOT🌐
-- We had read to avoid EPCOT on Fridays and Saturdays, so we went on Wednesday. We rode: Grand Fiesta Tour, Living with the Land, Nemo, Spaceship Earth, Imagination with Figment, Frozen, Remy, Journey of Water, and Guardians--everything we wanted! Again, with Genie+, we walked right onto everything! Outside of our character meal (more on that in the dining section!), we also met Anna, Elsa, and Asha! Tried a couple of Flower and Garden snacks: chicken and waffles, fruit and cheese strudel, and potato pancakes, all were delicious! Everyone had a different favorite day, but EPCOT was personally my favorite day, it felt like we were firing on all cylinders and the day just went really smoothly!
🏰MAGIC KINGDOM🏰
-- We had read that Wednesdays were the quietest days at MK, so we were originally going to try to do it that day, but we could only get a reservation for Cinderella's Royal Table on Thursday, so we switched it up. Definitely the most crowded of all the parks we visited, but I think that's just the norm for MK, everyone wants to go to the castle park with the most rides. We rode: Regal Carousel, Tomorrowland Speedway, Barnstormer, Magic Carpets, Mad Tea Party, People Mover, Dumbo, Small World, Little Mermaid, Pirates, Space Ranger Spin, Jungle Cruise, TRON, and Peter Pan. Again, with Genie+, we walked right onto everything! The only ride we missed at this park that we wanted to do was Pooh, I couldn't manage to get a return time that was earlier than we planned on leaving. Outside of our character meals (more on those in the dining section!) we also met Mirabel, Tiana, and Rapunzel! We had both the Rapunzel and Aurora ice creams, both so good and cute!
🎬HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS🎬
-- We had read that, like MK, it's better to do HS later in the week, so we went Friday. We rode: Slinky, Alien Saucers, Toy Story Mania, Rise, Smuggler's Run, Runaway Railway. Again, with Genie+, we walked right onto everything! The only ride we missed was Tower of Terror, again I couldn't manage to get a return time that was earlier than we planned on leaving. We also met Olaf, be aware Olaf doesn't sign stuff, they just give you a signature card. This park needs more shade IMO, especially Toy Story Land, I know it's supposed to be Andy's backyard, but I don't see why that means we can't have some shade from trees or something. 🤪 Blue milk from Galaxy's Edge was really good, the family was all fighting over it!
🍽️DINING🍽️
-- We almost certainly lost some money on the DDP, but I'm still glad we got it because it allowed us to do more table service meals and have less stress overall about expenses. We easily used up everything but child quick service credits, we had a few of those left over near the end.
Here's where we ate!
BOARDWALK DELI/PIZZA WINDOW: Pizza for the kids, sandwiches for the adults. Tasty and satisfying after our day of travel!
BEACHES AND CREAM: Got the kitchen sink for the experience, but honestly it's not great, all the ice cream and toppings melt together quick and you just end up with weird ice cream soup.
SAT'ULI CANTEEN: LOVED this place, everything was so yummy! Best quick service we had!
SANAA: Since Animal Kingdom closes so early, we thought we'd try to extend the experience by eating at Sanaa. What a great idea, we got seated right by a window and saw so many animals! The food was great too.
AKERSHUS: Our favorite princess meal! We met Aurora, Tiana, Snow White, Ariel, and Belle. They were all lovely, and the breakfast was really good too. Only 1 credit on the DDP!
GARDEN GRILL: Our kids really enjoyed getting to look down over Living with the Land and the fact that the restaurant spins. We met Farmer Mickey, Pluto, and Chip and Dale. They were fun and even came to our table more than once. Food was good!
SPACE 220: Not on the DDP, but wow, what a cool restaurant! Almost like a ride with the theming and the elevator up. Food was really good.
CINDERELLA'S ROYAL TABLE: You gotta eat in the castle! We paid for it OOP because we didn't want to use up 2 DDP credits here. You're really going for the location and the princesses, the food is kinda meh, not bad but not as good as other places. The restaurant is small and they have to turn tables quick, so it's very understandable to me that the princesses have to move fast. It's not that they rush you, they'll take all the pictures you ask for and sign whatever and answer your questions, but if you don't have much you need, they try to keep moving. Akershus is much bigger so they are able to be more relaxed there. The only small bummer is that we didn't see Merida (maybe she was on vacation too!) We did meet Cinderella, Ariel, Jasmine, and Aurora though!
CRYSTAL PALACE: We are not big on buffets but we enjoyed meeting Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore and Tigger!
TOPOLINO'S: Maybe the best food of the trip, steak and eggs were so good! The character artist costumes are so cute too. It was fun to have an excuse to ride the Skyliner to get here from Beach Club too.
DOCKING BAY 7: The theming is great, but the food wasn't as good as Satuli Canteen IMO.
THE MARKET AT ALE & COMPASS: We had quick service credits we wanted to use up on the last day and we didn't want to leave the resort again, otherwise I would have gone somewhere else, food was meh.
✨EXTRAS✨
-- I originally wanted to book Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique for my kids, but it's so expensive/competitive that I decided to didn't want the stress. Instead I booked Have Wand, Will Travel to come to our room and bought dresses from Presley Couture and Only Little Once. I chose Have Wand, Will Travel because they keep character throughout. Fairy Godmother Elyse was amazing and so much fun, my kids loved it and kept talking about it all day!
-- That same morning I ordered a Sammicakes breakfast box with beignets for us to eat. I also ordered a pretend letter from The DCP and Me on Etsy to make it seem like the breakfast came from Tiana. My kids also loved this and had fun telling Tiana about it both times we met her. Sammicakes was good but a LOT of food, sadly we didn't end up eating half of it. It can last you at least 3 days!
-- We had Birthdays and More decorate our door, it was a really fun surprise for the kids on our first day and made our room easy to find. The kids also loved reusing the decorations at home on their own doors!
-- Matching shirts and ear hats, all from Etsy! So many cool designs there, hardest part is choosing!
-- Got my kids a pin trading lanyard with some pins, they loooooved pin trading! It was like free souvenirs.
🧳PACKING🧳
-- Things the Internet Told Me to Pack That I Needed: Scissors, ziploc bags, ibuprofen (kids and adults), garbage bags, big carabiners to hook on the strolleuse to carry multiple bags at once.
-- Things the Internet Told Me to Pack that I Didn't Need: stainless steel straws (the paper straws are more like hard cardboard, they really don't break down unless your kid is gnawing on them or something), ponchos (it did rain some most days, but wearing a poncho was almost more miserable than not wearing one, it's so hot and humid to be walking around in a plastic bag! We did better taking shelter and using umbrellas.), wipes (obv you need them if your kid is younger, but mine were older and just never got messy enough to need them), glow sticks (we never stayed anywhere long enough to use them), bottled wateLiquid IV (the tap water tasted the same as home to us, but we live in a rural area so maybe we are just used to imperfect water?) Basically, the less you can get away carrying in the parks, the better. It's annoying to lug stuff around you don't end up needing or using!
🛞STROLLER🛞
-- I know it seems insane that your 5 year old and 9 year old will need a stroller, but mine definitely did. Once I accepted that I was going to have to get one, I tried to make the best of it, and actually got really into decorating it so we could always easily spot it in the sea (the decorations also later made nice wall decor for a gallery of our trip!) The Magic Spotter flag was the best investment, hardly anyone had them so it was easy to instantly spot our stroller anywhere we left it, even if it got moved. That said, I definitely didn't want to spend a lot on a stroller we were really only buying for this one trip, so I got a used Joovy Caboose on Facebook Marketplace for $50. It was very hard to handle with two older kids in it, and even with one it was hard to handle unless the kid was in the back seat. So we basically used it like a single stroller, glad I didn't spend a lot on it since it was so hard to drive!
☔WEATHER☔
-- We had mostly great weather, it rained some every day except Magic Kingdom day but it passed within an hour each time. We wore socks with Crocs so that if/when it rained, we could just take our wet socks off and walk in our Crocs, this worked great! Don't trust the weather reports though, two days it wasn't supposed to rain. One day it actually didn't, the other day it did and we had to walk in wet shoes because we didn't wear the Crocs that day. Just figure it might rain any day and be prepared! See above note RE: ponchos being not great and shelter + umbrellas being better. When it didn't rain, It. Was. Hot. 🥵 In the 90s but definitely felt hotter with the humidity making it so sticky. We felt there was plenty of shade at Animal Kingdom and EPCOT, but hardly any at Magic Kingdom and Hollywood Studios, which I would say slightly affected how much fun we had on those days comparatively.
Phew! That's about it, let me know if you have any questions!

I believe my godmother's sister had some abilities in detecting red flags/missed match. We are going to call her Anna for this post.
My cousin met someone after a few heartbreaks. I met her briefly and she seemed nice and caring. She was career oriented. She said she really loved family.
One day we went to visit my godmother's house and celebrate her birthday. Anna was there and her extroverted and loud self welcomed us. She seemed happy to see my cousin in a relationship. That was until the girlfriend went to the bathroom.
Anna started telling my cousin that the girlfriend was not the right one for him. Awkward.
My godmother later agreed.
My cousin ignored them thinking maybe they were being mean. Also, what did they know? They just met. I too thought they were exaggerating and maybe it was because of the cultural difference (we're black and the girlfriend was white).
Fast forward a few months, my cousin and the girl broke up. She was too demanding and some other things happened.
Anna also disapproved of my god sister's boyfriend. He got lazy and leached of my god sister. They later broke up because he cheated.
Anna passed away from cancer and I still wondered what she would have said if I got into a relationship.

The night dad died, I was alone in my apartment, sitting in darkness, and a verse from a Persian poem kept running through my mind:
من نمی‌دانستم معنی هرگز را، تو چرا باز نگشتی دیگر؟
which translates to, "I never knew the meaning of 'never.' Why did you not come back?"
I was trying to grasp what "never" truly means. I remember thinking that grief fractures your memories of a person into countless pieces: different images, sounds, small details: The sound of their laughter. an eyebrow gesture. The way they pronounced a certain word.
Each of these fragments whispers "nevermore."
He laughs at a silly joke. Never again. He parks his car in the driveway. Never again. I call him on Father's Day. Never again. He dances with my dog on his birthday. Never again. I call him at midnight, panicking that his cancer is spreading, just to hear his voice. Never again. He buys 50 packs of some kind of snack I mentioned I liked. Never again. He beats me in chess with a huge grin. Never again.
He sings the song I hate and laughs at my cringing. Never again
He greets me with a smile as I have brought his favorite flowers. Never again.
Never, never, never again.
friends come to me for advice on dealing with grief now.
they don't know that I almost called you the other day.
I haven't told them that I still don't understand what "never" means.
It has been a year without you, Baba. Every year from now will be another year without you. it's not you who has left us; we've been forced to leave you behind in time.
I need to understand that somehow. I'm trying.

TL:DR - a guy I have to be around is a massive homophobe, and I need a t-shirt design that includes both a prominent rainbow, and a Bible verse.
Backstory: our kids go to the same small private school in Alabama. As you can imagine, it's a very conservative group of folks I find myself around at birthday parties, etc. This guy is at every party and event, and we're acquaintance-level friendly. But recently he said some things to me and my wife that let me know "the gays" are living rent-free in every room of his mind palace. There's a work day coming up this summer, and I want to find a shirt that depicts both a prominent rainbow, and a Bible verse. I want him to be both unable to take his eyes off it because "the gays", and unable to say anything about it because of the biblical motif.
Attached image is about the best I've come up with so far, but I bet y'all can do better. Thanks for your help!

Trash talking musicians are nothing new, certainly not limited to the hip-hip genre - early blues and jazz musicians constantly touted their supremacy over their peers, rock egos declaring their own godliness - it's nothing new. The underage-cousin-fucking, possible later-wife-murdering Jerry Lee Lewis did a show in Hamburg just to angrily reassert his claim to the throne of early rock & roll after being shamed into obscurity.
The Diss Track, though, is a particular brand of trash talk that's so associated with hip-hop, that it's easy to forget just how often you see this in the music and genres that predate Biggie & Pac, Kendrick & Drake, etc. Where else do you folks get your dose of inter-scene drama where an artist calls out another by name for the purpose of putting them down? There are some obvious standouts in music history, like "Sweet Home Alabama" as a response to "Southern Man"/"Alabama", that kind of thing, but there are so many that have existed under the radar without the frothing media attention they deserve :) I'd like to submit for the record the following:
Funkadelic on "Let's Take it to the Stage" calling out James Brown, Slick Rick, Sly, EW&F, and anyone else who wants to rep being funky (chef's kiss for referring to JB in the 70s as the 'Godmother!' or 'Grandfather') - Modern parallel would be Kendrick Lamar boastfully calling out everyone in the scene that he considers beneath his level- on his verse in "Control"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1deFnklMG0
And one of my all time favorites, Rudimentari Peni taking The Clash & Sex Pistols to task for fame that came at the expense of their authenticity on "Rotten to the Core" (a more pointed attack at the specifics of a band's credibility, in the same vain as the recent Drake disses):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9tvmT7jHjU
What else comes to mind? Maybe I'm in a mood, but these past couple of days I've been getting a kick of of finding all of the first-class-shit-talking in my collection (currently listening to Nation of Ulysses take, out of all the bands, the Beatles to task for being too old on "N-Sub Ulysses" - it makes me feel young again lol).

Bukas na birthday nya, kung sya lang daw masusunod gusto na lang nya mag pahinga sa bahay kaso lagi nyang iniisip yung mga kapatid ng mami ko.
Nung birthday ng mama ko kasama sila non sa pa kaen sa labas kasi syempre kapatid nya kahit ayaw namin ng kambal ko kasama yung mga yon. Nung birthday namin naman ng kambal ko di sila kasama kasi ayaw namin at birthday namin yun, kami din magbabayad.
Ayaw namin sila kasama kasi marami na silang atraso samen like inuuto si mami ng praises and mga bible verses, tapos nung buhay pa mother nila nilagay nila yung bedridden nilang mother sa bahay namin kasi andaming dahilan kung baket di maalagaan pero nagppost sa FB na nakakagala eme habang yung mami ko nagtatanong sa Diyos bakit siya pinapahirapan. Marami pang ganap nila na tinetake advantage nila kabaitan ng mami ko na parang validation na ni mami ang papuri ng mga kapatid nya, mami ko pa panganay sa kanila pero under ang dating.
Now, gusto rin namin na nasa bahay lang si papa para makapag rest sya kasi 1 RD lang nya per week. Pero eto isama na lang daw mga kapatid ni mami para wala nang issue daw.
Napagisipan namin ng kambal ko na kain na lang kami sa iba tapos pabayaan na lang sila papa kumain don sa gusto nila. Yun lang naman purpose ng kainan na yon para sa mga kapatid ni mami
Nagagalit papa ko na wag daw ganon kasi magagalit si mami. Nakakalungkot na pineplease pa rin nya si mami kahit sya ayaw den sa mga yon dahil minamaliit sya.
ABYG na di kami sasama sa pa birthday ni papa?

Hello fellow potatoes! And to the potato queen herself, girl, you're amazing!!! I just found your channel a few months ago, but I'm a huge fan. I don't have a lot of time for videos, but when I do get to watch, I watch yours.
Have I got a boomemil story for you! Let's go on an adventure...warning...I tell stories with rabbit holes and tangents. This is probably gonna be too long. I'm sorry!!!
So, the characters are me (40f), boomer MIL (64f BM for short, like bowel movement bc she's caca), my oldest son, (17m), and my church "mom" (65f CM for short).
A little background: BM thinks she's an awesome mom and grandma even though she's not. She uses my kids as facebook props to show off how "wonderful" she is. The only reason she was around my kids so often was because we went to the same church. She lived 10 minutes down the road from us, but could never be bothered to come over or have anything to do with any of us is if we didn't initiate. She has always said that if we ever try to threaten to keep our kids away from her, like if we were having a disagreement, that she would not fight to see them. We've never threatened to keep our kids from her, she just wanted us to know that she didn't give a sh!t to see her gandkids. So, that tells you right there, that she's a grandma when it's convenient for her.
She's of the boomer mentality that mental health issues are made up and aren't real. "You have nothing to be depressed about." "Just snap out if it." "Just be happy." You get the point. I struggle with depression, I always have. She doesn't understand or even try to understand and is the least empathetic person I've ever met.
When I get overwhelmed, I get depressed, and I start shutting down. My plate is overflowing right now. Between the end of the school year and the possibility of us moving states, I've been overwhelmed. My oldest is a senior and the last month of senior year is crazy busy. I have another child (11m) in public school and this is his last year of elementary school, so this has been an extremely busy month for him. I have 3 more kids that do online public school/homeschool. So, they're home all day with online classes, but since they're a public school, they have mandatory state testing just like regular public school. I have had to take them to do state testing on 4 different days overyhe last few weeks and the meeting place was 45 minutes from home, at a conference room in a mall. I also babysit 3 kids (1m, 4m, 4f), so hanging out for 4 to 5 hours a day on 4 different days with a shitload of kids at the f#cking mall was not easy. Not to mention the positions and "jobs" that I hold at church. To say I'm busy is an understatement.
We've been planning on moving for the last few months because a position at my husband's work is coming open near where he grew up, which is in another state. His parents recently moved back to their hometown after my FIL retired, so one reason for the move would be to be closer to them. They are getting older, so I would be taking care of them once they needed it, so moving closer seemed like a great option. Also, it's a lower COL area than we live in now. Currently we live in the metro area of a capital city and we would be moving to a middle of nowhere po'dunk town.
Told you, rabbit holes, thanks for still being with me!!!
And this is just the straw that broke the camel's back, this is not the only reason for my decision.
So, to the actual story...
Last week, I got a mother's day card in the mail from BM. She's a dollar tree card fanatic. It was a very typical card that she sends me. Nothing handwritten except for "love, grandma and grandpa." This is what she writes in all my cards. (Another tangent...last year my mom passed a month before mother's day and that actual mother's day was her and my dad's anniversary. And I had a super complicated relationship with my momster. So, it was an exceptionally hard day for me. The card she got me said "Daughter" in huge letters on the front. I thought it was so incredibly passive aggressive and completely inappropriate for that year. If it would've been any other year, it would've been fine. Also, she never gets me cards that just say "daughter" so, to me, it was a low blow.) (Yet another tangent...she does passive aggressive crap all the time, for instance when she used to do fb birthday posts, she would always ask me to send her a pic to post. I'm picky about what pics are used and she knows that. Last year, I sent her a great pic of me and her son to use. So, she used one from about 12 years ago that looked like absolute poop. It was a surprise pic, so like not even posed, stupid look on my face. No matter what pic I send, and usually send like 3, she uses a completely different one that doesn't even look good.) I got the card last Tuesday. Hubby happened to be talking to her while driving home from work that day, so when he got home, I thanked her for the card and just wanted to give her a heads up that I hadn't gotten a chance to mail hers yet because of everything I had going on. I kinda broke down and was sharing how I felt and she basically just said, "suck it up, it'll be fine." She's always been dismissive of my feelings, always.
So, my CM is the sweetest lady you'll ever meet. She listens to me, lets me share my feelings without being dismissive, and actually shows she cares. I see her twice weekly at church, and text with her during the week. Since BM has moved 8 moths ago, she has called or texted "just to talk or check in on us" less than a handful of times. She only calls/texts when she needs something or on a special occasion. She called my husband to ask about something, not just to talk. I understand now why the oldest grandson, my nephew, didn't even bother to invite her to his and his girlfriend's baby shower where he proposed. She thinks she's an amazing grandma bc she sends birthday money in a card and posts their pics on Facebook. And, she even stopped posting the kids birthday messages on fb bc she said it was "too much trouble." So, she just sticks to her 30 daily inspirational Bible quotes posts. She's the type that was so pissed off that both of her kids went with courthouse marriages instead of going into debt for a wedding because she didn't get to walk down the aisle at her kids' weddings and post pics on fb. She's mentioned this several times, but definitely wasn't even willing to spend a dime towards a wedding that no one wanted except her. She was also unwilling to take a day off work to go to the courthouse with us. With both of her kids' marriages, the kids and partners were together for a while and had kids before getting married, so spending tons of money on a huge wedding for either of us couples wouldn't have been the best way to spend money.
On mother's day, I gave my CM a card with a few lines written in it about how amazing she is and how I'm so grateful for her. I'm way closer to her than BM. CM is my chosen family and to me, your chosen family is the one that means more because you chose them, you didn't just get stuck with them. My blood family is incredibly toxic, so I stick with my chosen family. CM made a fb post with all that she got for mother's day. It was gifts and cards from her own children, and of course my card as well. CM & BM are fb friends, so of course BM saw it. Also, BM has everyone convinced she's this sweet, little old church lady, but she is far from it.
So, this Tuesday she got her cards in the mail. I always give her one from hubby and myself, and a separate one from our boys. I wrote a nice little note in it. Not long, a line or 2, but it was more effort than she put into my card. She sent me and hubby the following in a group text...
Copy and pasted, only edited out names.
"Got my cards in the mail today. 😭. They were post marked Saturday. You could of kept them til I got there or next year. It's like yall bought them Saturday, wrote a few words and rushed to get them to post office. My heart 💔broken. I thought I deserved better. I wish I could send pictures of my card verses [CM] 😩 card. I couldnt tell which gift was yours. But least I have a year to try do better and be worthy of such wonderful words of love and praise that was written to her.
I don't mean to complain or seem ungrateful but I wished you hadn't mailed them.😭😭. I can't explain how crushed I am.😔 Anyway hopefully I will see yall on the 20th."
Note: my oldest son is graduating on the 20th. She was supposed to drive down and spend the night with us to attend the graduation. I honestly believe she picked this fight because she doesn't want to drive the 6 hours down here.
If you "don't mean to complain or seem ungrateful" then why tf did you send it? I asked my husband what was his initial reaction and he said, "Really?!? All she had to do was say thanks."
So, after I talked to my husband and oldest son (I wanted to make sure everyone was on board with what I was saying before I sent it) , I sent her this response:
"I mailed them on Friday, I bought them several weeks ago. I told you I hadn't mailed them yet because I've been in a deep depression and you dismissed my feelings like always. I have real, valid feelings and you always dismissed them as silly. And come after me because now you're feelings are hurt. Wow, ok. The absolute audacity. And it's not just with your cards that I'm slacking. It's with everything. Because I have depression. I'm overwhelmed on top of that and literally the only thing you care about is a card. I tried to express my feelings the other day on the phone and you dismissed them like you always do. I know things will be fine, but in this moment they are not and you don't get that. Because you don't understand how or why I feel the way I do, then my feelings are silly or invalid to you.
And I never gave [CM] a present. Don't know why you thought that.
Don't worry about coming down on the 20th."
She replies by trying to blackmail me;
"Well my am so sorry I said anything. I never realized you thought that about me. I never dismissed your depression but yes i never knew what to do for you. I am not going to go back and forth about this. I will text [son] and let him know you told me not to come."
She's not sorry to me for being dismissive, she's sorry because now she doesn't get her "Proud MeMe moment" and can't post pictures of her at his graduation on fb. And even if she didn't "know what to do" for me, all she had to do was ask. Or listen. Or give a damn hug. But, no, she just dismissed me bc to her depression isn't real. And she's not going back and forth bc she knows shes wrong! Little did she know that I had already cleared it with hubby and son before sending the text, so I think she thought it would make me look bad to my oldest son that I told her no to come. Oldest son said, "I'm neutral, I don't care if she comes or not. It's not like she's had anything to do with us since she moved, and barely had anything to do with us when she was here."
So, my last text to her said, "He knows. I asked him before I texted you, and he's good with it."
All she had to do was say thanks or not even say anything at all. But, no, she had to say something stupid. Even her own son said that she's lucky she even got a card bc if it was up to him, her actual son, she wouldn't have gotten anything. So, not only is she not invited to the graduation, she's never welcome in my home again. The great part is I don't have to share my holidays with her ever again!!! And please know that I'd never keep her grandchildren from her, but if she wants a relationship with them, she'll have to put some effort in. And we all know boomers hate effort.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading my rant. I appreciate you my friends!

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/XIdus1PkoRM
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Yagami Light (As a third year student in ANHS) (The wielder of Death Note. Because of his genius level intellect and Death Note power he would give Ayanokoji the hardest time in the battle of wit. Light is a cold, calculative and a cunning manipulator but so is Ayanokoji.. so they're kinda similar. Ayanokoji probably don't mind being an ally of Light if it means he can be free.. and Light won't kill Ayanokoji for no reason. There's a chance that Ayanokoji would be the second Kira later but this also mean the two of them have to outsmart multiple of geniuses like Takuya, Koenji, Arisu, Nagumo, Manabu, Kiryuin, Atsuomi, Tsukihiro, L. Lawliet, Naomi, Near, Mello and etc+)
Ishigami Senku (He's the only one who can beat Ayanokoji when it comes to academics and knowledge. In fact he rebuilt the human civilization from a scratch, beat a supercomputer in maths battle, and even built the time machine too. The only problem is.. he's not skilled in manipulation and deception, he's kind-hearted and physically weak)
Katagiri Yuuichi (He's not really good in academics. His IQ is only above average.. but his EQ is on another level. He's a dangerous and sadistic guy with multiple personalities and S-tier acting skill. He used to mind control people for fun and killed countless of them indirectly when he was a child. He never been caught by the police too. He's nearly Johan's level when it come to EQ and manipulation)
Jabami Yumeko (She's an unpredictable and a crazy masochist but also a talented gambler with superhuman intuition. When it come to gambling she can probably beat Ayanokoji.. but in everything else Ayanokoji beat her. Knowing COTE writing she might become a part of Ayanokoji's harem though)
Kokichi Ouma (Sent to ANHS to expel Ayanokoji) (His IQ is high but not on Ayanokoji's level. His EQ is high too but not on Yuuichi's level. But physically he's the strongest in this poll. When it come to speed and agility he's definitely better than Ayanokoji. He's also a schemer who compulsively or pathologically creates lies and while putting on his villainous persona he freely states whatever he's thinking, regardless of how it makes others feel)
Beyond Birthday a.k.a BB (As a teacher in ANHS) (Basically a mix of L. Lawliet and Yagami Light. But Unlike Yagami Light and L. Lawliet he doesn't care about justice. He's pure evil. He's not a Death Note user but he has the eyes that allow him to see and know when exactly people around him would die as well as knowing their names. And since he's not a Death Note user it's nearly impossible to find the physical evidence of his crimes which mean he can commit a crime that can't be solved even by world class detectives. In ANHS Ayanokoji is the only one who can solve the BB cases though the chance of him solving the case is low. The battle between Ayanokoji and Beyond Birthday would be this verse equivalent of L vs Kira)
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