I apologize, the reason this is so long is because 1.) I suck at summarizing 2.) backstory of some sort is needed to understand this excuse of a man and/or human being. 3.) I’m not a good storyteller, but you are, Charlotte, and I know you can take this mess of info and turn it into a beautiful, long-time-coming, petty revenge story for your channel. Because what is more petty than an herbal, flowery Trojan horse no one knows about?
Cast: OP-me Swister- my older sister Mom - mine and my sister’s mom, grandmother to Trish/Patty BIL- exactly who it says, and a huge butthole. Patty/Trish - the same person, a four year old little girl, product of union between BIL and Swister.
Some (bit rambling to explain some stuff) backstory:
Last winter, to get out of the horrible, freezing, painfully striking sleet (it would not pass over our town, was just there, stuck in a vortex, for what seemed like eternity) of January in our hometown (we were always just a couple degrees away from it being snow, and quite a few times we got lots of hail, some as big as softballs, and could damage cars and punch through windshields, etc. I know this sounds like ‘The Long Winter’ by Laura Ingalls Wilder, but both me and my mom (I’m disabled and have to live with someone to help in every day life, I’m not a high school dropout living in mommy’s basement playing fortnight or assassin’s creed and have memorized cheat codes. The only video games I’ve ever played were duck hunt, which my grandpa actually got for himself bc he loved to hunt, so I only got to play it in turns with my five other cousins when we visited him); and N64’s Zelda:Ocarina of Time. I hope those titles illustrate for you the last time I played a video game. Oh! And the Oregon Trail, but I always died of some disease that doesn’t happen today or is curable with fluids, rest, and maybe some penicillin. But I digress.) but both me and my mom and my older sister (who was pregnant at the time) and BIL moved about 15 minutes down a little used two lane highway. And when my niece was born late 2019, we named her Patricia after my grandmother. (Patty or Trish for short).
My BIL claims he can smell everything ten times better than any other human, ‘probably because I’m an Alpha Male, and I need heightened senses to protect my pack, my family.’ Okay, I won’t deny he is sensitive to scent, but if his food doesn’t come out smelling right (almost always made special order bc of his ‘allergies’ (that’s what he tells the waitress; in reality, he just doesn’t want stuff he doesn’t like on his plate, and is too fucking lazy to just take the single pickle chip off the McDonald’s cheeseburger. If half of America can do it, why not him? ‘I might smell and taste it with my superhuman olfactory senses.’ He said with a very sincere, serious tone and face, like I was in special education and couldn’t understand it was 1,2,3, not 1,3,2. He is an arrogant misogynistic asshole. My sister could have done sooooooo much better. Idk y she chose him to marry (for a general idea of all what he looks like, speaks like, and sounds like (minus the slight lisp) is the video of the ‘dating coach’ who took the video in his car, opening it with ‘you do not have to accept her rejection, say things like I’m the best, why wouldn’t you want me, you should see my basement with ropes and pulleys and hooks, and do you know what a did with her that night? Well, it’s not appropriate to talk about on this platform”… yeah, that guy, except for the lisp, could be my BIL IDENTICAL twin. Anyway, now you know BIL is a creepy, asshole, bastard with no sense of boundaries or personal space, who think women are lesser than him. Moving on.
I also suffer from anxiety, insomnia, and a few other things that require me to take meds that can slow down your breathing, so if I can take care of my pain, anxiety, and insomnia without having to take a narcotic or benzo, and it works, I choose that path first. Some of these ways are ice packs, heating pads, a special herbal tea, aromatherapy, yoga, sleeping surrounded by pillows like I were in a nest, making sure to do a little bit of some exercise and always taking my daily walks (I don’t want the pain to get so bad from being sedentary I will require a wheelchair before I absolutely have to) and don’t always want to be popping clonapen or oxy or morphine all day and falling asleep, especially around my niece. I don’t want her to ever believe pills fix problems.
So to escape the horrible winter in our new home environment, my mom decided to use her saved-up reward points and book us all a ten day trip to Disney Aulani Hawaii, specifically Disney bc of my niece. My mom and I had been there before, in 2020, right when resorts opened back up at much less than capacity because of COVID rules, and we had gone for a week, so I knew they had an awesome spa I could spend my saved vacation money on.
The minute we step into our two bedroom, two full bath (each with both a shower and separate tubs!), an ok sized but capable kitchen, and a nice, big, comfy furniture filled common room/living room. All of my stuff I put in the room I’d be sharing with my mom, then took my niece to go and get her first Shirley Temple (they are a virgin cocktail I have loved as a kid, still do, that are super easy to make the ghetto way - diet 7up (diet taste better in the cocktail, idk why, it just the way the Gods have decreed it so), grenadine, and maraschino cherries (as many as you want, but kids usually get two and adults one. I think this is unfair) and tada! You have a Shirley Temple.
So I’m walking back to the room, both of us holding our reusable drink cups for our stay (if you bring the cup with you, you get any non alcoholic drink for free during your stay. Coolcool.) And I open the door and hear my mom and sister begging BIL to just stop it, let it go, just enjoy the ten days here. BIL is in MY room, going through MY things, yelling at mom and sis to leave him alone, he has to find it, it reeks, etc. I’m like, GTFO of my stuff, this is extremely violating, sister, are you not concerned and pissed he is pawing through my bra and panties right now, ‘looking for hidden pockets’?
Finally, he grabs this 15 or 20 mL vial I have, a pain relieving roll on I use for my migraines and tension headaches, about $55 after tax, not including S&H. I had left my almost empty one at home, and this was a brand new vial, safety wrapping still on. He blames me, said I was trying to ruin ‘his hard earned vacation’ (he has no job, only looks after my niece enough to feed her (most of the time) and my sister had to find a high -enough paying job so she could work from home so she could do every job like she were a single mother. The only chore he does, and only like 65% of the time (they love to eat out and/or order in) is cooking, and as much as I hate him, sometimes his dishes are good. Not phenomenal, like he practically requires everyone to praise it as, even if he just added sage basil and oregano to a frozen pizza.
So I ask, “how the hell can you smell that? There is the outer plastic seal and the inner lid seal?” And he goes off on being an Alpha Males and olfactory nonsense. Then he takes the vial and runs out of the room with it. He takes it to a housekeeping services cart several doors down and spikes I into her trash can, which by the thunk sound the vial made told me not only was her trash nearly or almost nearly empty, and that he had broken and wasted a valuable medical tool because he is batshit crazy and doesn’t see me as a person outside of how I interact with his everyday life, like I’m a NPC who doesn’t exist or say anything until a real person player comes into my field of awareness. He pawed through every item I owned, including underwear and opening my tampons one to sniff (I especially bought no scented for this trip, and he went and ruined a whole box of them (I’m not putting a previously opened and practically stuck up my BIL’s nose tampons! It’s not just unsanitary, it’s gross on so many levels! I also save up what little money I have leftover from my SSDI monthly checks, so over several months, I had saved up to buy that, bc it worked where others just smelled good but didn’t take the tension headache or migraine away. He has never had to pay for things with his own money, so has no concept of it, of saving money, of worth.
I stewed and stewed and I knew I had to be as petty as possible and still not get caught. I was still thinking these thoughts on our third to last day while I got an unusual massage at the Aulani spa. First is usual deep tissue massage, but then they rub your back and skin with tingly oils and take what looks like the contents of a bag of tea (very heady and fragrant in that small room) and rub it all over you, wrap you up for 15 min, scrape it off you, also taking excess body oil and dead skin cells with it as it goes. And then, smelling all those wonderful scents, I had a genius thought. As she scraped the herbs and stuff off my skin into a bowl, I asked for a to go bag for the herbs, and pretended I wanted to put them in a foot bath I was giving myself tonight in my room. Shockingly, they agreed, and gave me all the scrapings, herbs, essential &body oils, and dead skin cells, in a linen drawstring bag they said I could just toss the whole bag into the hot water.
Now, when I travel, I always pack duct tape in my checked baggage. To make sure shampoo, conditioner, lotion, stuff like that, wet and messy? So it will stay in the bottle with the top duct taped both on shut and to the top of the bottle. Nobody was in the room; they were taking a hike my physical disabilities made very challenging (like an 7-8/10 for me, and a 3.4.5/10 for them) over broken terrain and off trail a bit to climb to a waterfall, so I had said ‘I’m going to the spa. Peace!’ So nobody was back from the hike yet, but I had no idea when they would be, so I acted fast. I grabbed my duct tape and went into sister and BIL’s room and squished and squiggled my way as far under the bed as I could, an duct taped the linen bag of herbs and scrapings right under where he would lay his head to rest at night (according to his ‘Alpha Wolf’ status, he was always on the side of the bed between the door and the rest of his collectables in his room.
We had that day, two more days, and three nights left. BIL did not sleep a wink during that entire time - he had housekeeping change the bedding (including duvets and their covers) several times in that small frame of time, and demanded of my mom to rent him (on my moms dime, not this 40 y o mans money, the mooching leach, but her carefully budgeted money and visa card points hoarded over years.) his own, just perfectly sanitized room, obviously something had been left here by a former guest that was rotting. Finally, FINALLY my mom and sister had HAD IT. He whined and moaned more than my four yo niece. They finally ripped him a new one, saying he had been acting like an entitled baby man with delusions he is more important than he is, that we as women should fawn over him, and that he had already ruined all of ours, but especially my vacation by tossing my personal property and screaming at me for wearing perfume when I didn't even pack any. At one point I even piped up, ‘I didn’t put up with my father treating me like this, what makes you think I’m gonna take it from you?’ (AN/OP: my father abused me and mom and sister our whole lives. Lots of verbal, emotional, psychological abuse. Sister had it pretty literally; mom had it worst. But when my dad had 100% custody of me at beginning of divorce, my sister went away to college and moved out within the following two weeks, and I was his sole remaining target. For three years straight. Other, even more horrible disgusting things he did to me I’ve only just started to talk about, and don’t want my whole life blasted online while I deal.
So i got my silent, sweet-smelling revenge. For those 3 days and 3 nights, he didn't sleep a wink, which meant he couldn't keep his 'good guy' image up, and everyone saw how he treats me, and I'm no longer a liaexaggerating. I hope some act of God, or him driving around while completely wasted, as he does every single freaking day. He a waste of space, a waste of oxygen.
Again, the reason this is so long is because 1.) I suck at summarizing 2.) backstory of some sort was needed 3.) I’m not a good storyteller, but you are, Charlotte, and I know you can take this mess of info and turn it into a beautiful, long-time-coming, petty revenge story for your channel. Because what is more petty than an herbal, flowery Trojan horse type thing?
PS: he never did repay me for the OVER $300 worth of MY STUFF he upped and just tossed, or first broke then tossed, because it either offended his nose or him, personally, even though he begrudgingly promised to do so, and my sister promised he would. I only had like a 10% belief he would, but he has no money of his own, how was he gonna do that? Yes, I admit, I keep a record of anything I hear about him doing something negative, so one day if my sister even starts to consider divorce, I can whip out journal/notebook and show her his patterns, and he has always been this way, and he won’t ever change.

Hi gainers,
I have just finished running Super Squats by Randall J. Strossen and wanted to share my results. There are plenty of discussions of this program out there already, but I figured sharing my experience with the program can't hurt and can hopefully be interesting, or maybe even useful to someone. This was my first time running a "proper" program (i.e. one designed by a prefessional) and it has been by far the most productive training block I have done so far. Since I am a beginner, I'm not calling this a review (I don't have the training experience to offer any kind of expert opinion). This post is meant rather to show my results as a beginner on the program and to share some of my thoughts about it.
[Before, 82kgs, 10 April 2024](https://imgur.com/a/super-squats-before-82kg-10-04-2024-PvPBvIl). NSFW. Pics taken the day after the first workout.
[After, 86kgs, 18 May 2024](https://imgur.com/a/loPa07y). NSFW. Pics taken the day after the last workout.
Background:
M30, 6'2", no athletic background. Typical denizen of this sub in that I could always eat loads and not put on weight blah blah blah. Worked out in my teens with weights in my room but never maintained a consistent schedule long enough to see significant results. Fast forward to 2 years ago when I started doing bodyweight workouts at home and making an effort to gain weight. Had some success and then started going to the gym at the start of this year. Did a 4 day/week UppeLower split with some success. My weight had fluctuated between a very skinny 67kgs to around 73kgs throughout my twenties. Prior to running Super Squats I had already bulked from 74kgs at the start of December to 82kgs at the start of April (I started taking creatine in January which definitely contributed to this weight gain).
The Program:
Super Squats is a book, which is short (less than 100 pages) and contains everything you need to run the program. Although the book was written in 1989, the routine it outlines is based on old-school squatting programs utilized by strongmen from the 1920s onwards. A chapter is devoted to this history of squats, the "master exercise". There are a couple of anachronisms (my favourite is referring to the hamstrings as "thigh biceps") but overall it is well-written and presented.
The program itself is a six week full-body routine, with the choice to run it 2 or 3 days per week. I won't spell out the whole program here (just buy the book), but the core of the routine is, of course, a single set of twenty heavy squats, with the trainee taking at least three deep breaths between each rep. The squats are supersetted with a set of light pullovers or Rader chest pulls to stretch the rib cage. The starting weight for the squats is a weight you can do for 10 reps (and yes, you really do twenty reps with that weight) and the program stipulates that you must add at least 5lbs/2.5kgs every single workout. The program is fairly light on volume (especially if you run it 2 days per week like I did) but what it lacks in volume, it more than makes up in intensity.
There is no way around it: heavy, high-rep squats are deeply, profoundly, brutally unpleasant. There is no stipulation for rep cadence or how long the set should take, you can take as long as you like, but completing 20 reps with good form will require having the bar on your back for at least 3-4 minutes. From week 2 onwards, the single set of squats always took me more than 5 minutes (and it always felt much longer).
Performing warm-up sets slowly and deliberately was crucially important. Before I even got to the warm-up sets I performed a few reps of touchdown-squats on a box, and a few more of goblet squats with a light kettlebell, opening my hips against a resistance band to prime my glutes and quads.
Super Squats is the embodiment of "mind over matter". The book has a whole section on mindset and positive visualization to help trainees to manage the seemingly impossible task of squatting a 10-rep weight for 20 reps. It sounds stupid, but by the second half of the program, I had gotten into a ritual of giving the bar a firm slap, as a jockey would slap his racehorse, before I started the set, cementing my effort to view the bar not as an enemy to overcome but as a friend helping me to achieve my goals.
Reps 11 and 12 were usually the hardest. By the time I got to ten reps my legs were already trembling. My whole body was drenched in sweat, the weight of the bar impossibly heavy resting on my traps, crushing my whole body into the ground. Time had slowed to a crawl, and the thought that I was only half way would be enough to sap my resolve if I let it. Once I got to rep 13, comfortably more than halfway, I no longer had to think about breathing. I was sucking in great lungfuls of air automatically and heaving them out so hard I sprayed the mirror in front of me with droplets of spit (yes, of course I wiped it down afterwards). Once I got to rep 17 I knew I had the set in the bag. No matter how tortuous those last three reps, no matter how long they took, no matter how many heaving breaths I had to take, I could do 3 more reps.
During week 2 I had what I think is the closest I've ever had to an out-of-body experience. It was as if I was watching someone else perform the agonizing reps while I talked myself through the rest of the set: "Breathe, good, deeper, you've got this, next rep, nice. Keep going".
Breathing is the key. The book talks at length about the importance of deep breathing throughout the set. Pretty quickly, I found that deep breathing was the only way to keep from passing out or collapsing mid set, though as I said, deep breathing becomes automatic about halfway through the set (there's simply no other way to stay upright with the weight on your back). A very helpful tip from the book is to suck in an extra gulp of air on top of your already full lungs for each of the last reps.
If all this sounds a bit exaggerated, try the program and see for yourself. But I'm not trying to put anyone off with this description, quite the opposite! The great thing about Super Squats is that the difficulty of the squats is directly proportional to the feeling of giddy elation upon completing the set. I always felt great after the set, and rode the feeling of accomplishment for the rest of the day. The program really pushes you beyond the boundaries of what you think you can do.
My Progress:
I started the squats at quite a low weight of just 40kg. The book recommends erring on the side of starting too light, and then adding more weight if needed, so that is what I did. Remember, the program stipulates a minimum increase of 5lbs/2.5kgs per workout, but there's nothing saying you can't add more. Once I realized the weight was too light (I managed 21 reps for the first workout) I simply increased the weight by 10kgs on the second workout and continued with the 2.5kg increases from there.
Before starting Super Squats I had had a two week break from training due to illness, so I started with too-low weights (I exceeded the target rep range on all exercises). So I increased the weight by 5-10kgs depending on the exercise for the second workout. The program has varying set numbers and rep ranges for different exercises. As a general rule, I increased the weight once I could hit the target rep range for the first two sets of each exercise, but I did not stick to this rule every workout.
The only thing I stuck to was the minimum increase of 2.5kgs for the squats every workout. I managed this consistently until the final week, when I failed on the eccentric of the tenth rep with a weight of 77.5kgs (a 5kg increase on the previous workout). My legs just gave way and I could not get back up. I did two more sets to make sure that I at least performed more total reps than the previous workout. Then, in the last workout, I amazed myself by succesfully performing all 20 reps with the same weight. Definitely the hardest set I have ever done, and I was completely finished afterwards, but the highlight of the program for sure.
Other ups and downs: I lost reps on Bench and Bent-over Rows on both workouts of week five, but got them back in week six and set new PRs on both. A good reminder that progress is rarely linear. My left knee started hurting in the last week, but thankfully the pain hasn't persisted. I guess my form might have broken down a bit too much in one of the last workouts.
Diet:
The book's diet advice is very simple: lots of calories and protein, with the majority coming from healthy whole food sources. Nothing surprising there. The book has two recommendations in addition to meals for achieving these goals: milk and shakes. The book doesn't use the GOMAD acronym, but that's basically what it boils down to: a recommended minimum of 2 quarts (about 2 litres) per day in addition to meals and snacks, with a recommendation to increase to up to a gallon (nearly 4 litres) per day if you can.
I was somewhat surprised to see that the book recommends home-made mass gainer shakes for trainees who struggle to eat enough solid food (the book refers to them as "blender bombs" which I think sounds much cooler).
I am not vegetarian, but I don't eat meat very often. I live with my fiancee, who doesn't like meat, and since we eat dinner, the main meal of the day, together, we eat a lot of plant-based meat substitutes. I did, however, eat meat more often than usual during the program. My typical diet looks something like this:
Breakfast: Usually muesli, with seeds, fruit (apple or banana), yoghurt, and a scoop of unflavoured whey protein.
Lunch: Usually eggs, fried or scrambled in butter, served with wilted spinach on wholemeal toast or with pasta and pesto. If not eggs then leftovers from last night's dinner. My local supermarkets do a rangle of reasonably healthy frozen meals and during the program I ate these a couple of times per week, always going for chicken dishes with plenty of vegetables.
Dinner: Something based around the aforementioned meat substitutes. Favourites include spaghetti bolognese (with plenty of cheese of course), chili with black beans, sour cream and guacomole served with rice, and burgers with fries for a "junk"/"dirty" option.
I don't count calories but I do roughly track protein, aiming for 2g per kg bodyweight and topping up with whey protein as needed.
During Super Squats, I upped my creatine dosage from 3.5g/day to 5g/day, added extra snacks to the above diet (nuts, dark chocolate etc.) and also milk and shakes as the book suggests. For the first three weeks I had a daily shake consisting of whey protein, milk, cocoa powder, banana, peanut butter and oats. The shakes helped with weight gain, but they proved unsustainable, as they led to some, er, digestive issues. Ok, they gave me explosive diarrhoea. See [this review of Super Squats](https://empire-barbell.com/2021/07/23/super-squats-review-of-the-legendary-20-rep-squat-program/) in which the author recounts ingesting a shake according to the book's recipe before starting a work shift and shitting himself during the shift, lol.
I hadn't really drank milk for several years prior to the program (I tend to prefer oat milk with my muesli) but I did increase my milk consumption slowly over the six weeks. For most of the duration I drank a couple of glasses per day, totalling only about 500ml -1 litre. Only in the last week did I make a serious effort to drink at least 2 litres per day. Turns out it's really easy to drink a lot of milk, and a very cost-efficient way to get lots of extra calories and protein. Who knew haha.
Rest and Recovery:
I've been having trouble sleeping lately, which was the reason I opted to do the program 2 days per week from the beginning (the book recommends starting with 3 days and dropping down to 2 if you find you can't recover sufficiently between workouts). I was a very deep sleeper as a child but those days are long gone and these days the slightest noise seems to be enough to wake me. My fiancee gets up early for work during the week (her alarm goes off at 4:45am), ivariably waking me before it does her, and we have a cat, who tends, as cats do, to go crazy in the small hours (her new favourite thing is scratching frantically on the closet doors). I've tired everything I can think of short of getting rid of the cat, which I'm not willing to do for the sake of gains. Hopefully she will mellow as she gets older. If nothing else, I guess it's good practice for when we become parents lol. Suffice to say it's rare that I get an uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep.
I tried to do everything within my power to get as good sleep as I could (making an effort to get to bed earlier, playing with the cat to tire her out, etc.). I still made good gains despite overall poor sleep, but there were definitely some days when I could have gotten to bed earlier.
What I liked about the program:
Super Squats is a simple, easy-to follow program which is practically guranteed to lead to growth. The non-negotiable nature of progression from workout to workout gives a strong incentive to eat enough and get enough rest. I seriously can't see how someone could follow this program, increasing the weight as prescribed, and not grow.
Another thing I liked was making significant progress over a short timeframe while only training 2 days per week, leaving more time for life outside the gym.
By far the biggest benefit of the program, hower, is the lessons it imparts and the mental toughness it inculcates. Lessons you can only learn by standing under the crushing weight of the bar for 20 reps. Put simply, you are capable of more than you think you are, and this program teaches you that in a way that words never could. I feel that I now inderstand intensity as a training variable far more deeply than I did before the program. After running Super Squats I understand why it is so often recommended to beginners.
What I didn't like about the program:
The individual workouts took far too long. This was by far the biggest thing I disliked about the program. The book claims that the Basic Routine should take less than an hour to complete, but I found that I rarely completed a workout in less than 90 minutes, and several times it took me a full 2 hours. Granted, this was partly due to training in a busy McGym, where waiting for equipment is often a factor, and I feel like I spend half my life searching for locking collars, but even so, the long workouts were grinding. Another big factor is just how exhausted you are after that set of squats. I often felt like I was moving in slo-mo, with the stiff-legged deadlifts (themselves no easy exercise) and calf and ab work still to get through.
The other main negative factor was how daunting the squats are. I rarely looked forward to workouts, and often actively dreaded them. I really had to psyche myself up to go to the gym on this program, despite knowing that I would feel great after my workout. That next set of squats was always looming ahead menacingly.
What I would do differently:
The biggest thing I would change is doing the milk properly from the beginning. By "doing the milk" I mean drinking at least the recommended 2 quarts per day. I would also probably leave the shakes out, and make an effort to eat cleaner. I kind of gave myself free reign to cut corners and do what it takes to gain on the program (spooning peanut butter from the jar and ice cream from the tub, eating "junk" meals like burgers and fries or frozen pizzas a couple of times a week, etc.).
I would have chosen a different abs exercise. I did hollow-body crunches, but since these can't be loaded (as far as I know) I had to resort to adding extra reps and then an extra set to add progressive overload. It would have been smarter and more time-efficient to simply choose a weighted abs exercise and increase the load each workout.
I could have been more diligent about consistenly increasing weight/reps on all exercises other than the squats. I feel my progress on the other lifts could have been better.
The book does not mention cardio, and in fact states that trainees should move as little as possible outside of training to allow for maximum recovery. I will definitely add some light cardio in the form of walking the next time I run the program (thanks to u/MythicalStrength for pointing out that since the program is based on old-school principles, it is likely assumed that pretty much everyone would have been doing a fair bit of walking before lifestyles became so sedentary in developed countries). Over the weekend between weeks five and six my mother came to visit, and in the course of showing her around my city I did a lot of walking that weekend (15k steps each day). I think this may have contributed to the failure on the first workout of week 6 by eating into my recovery. Ideally, I would just do, say, a 30-40 minute walk on off days throughout the program.
Most of all, I would trust the process. Of course this is easy to say with hindsight, but there was a point in weeks 3-4 where I got quite demotivated, felt like I coudn't notice the program working (of course not - visual changes take longer than a couple of weeks!) and felt quite tired out from all the eating, so I ended up eating a bit less for about a week in the middle of the program, which quite possibly contributed to the strength losses in week 5. Again, progress isn't linear, but if you stick to the program over six weeks it will pay off.
Conclusion/Next Steps:
Running Super Squats over the last six weeks has been without a doubt the most physically and mentally challenging thing I have ever done, but the payoff has been well worth it. 4kgs gained in 6 weeks and invaluable lessons learned. I'm going to have to go clothes shopping and replace most of my wardrobe. Shirts and T-shirts that were loose are now tight, and my old slim-fit T-shirts now look comically small. Even my straight-leg jeans are now tight fitting (my fiancee said the other day, "Those jeans are a bit tight on you now, huh? But your bum looks great!").
Being on the taller side, I still have quite a lot of frame to fill out, and I still have a lot to learn about training. I will definitely be running Super Squats again in future. I am especially interested in running the Abbreviated Program, consisting of only the squats, pullovers/Rader chest pulls, bench, and bent-over rows. This would solve the problem of workouts being too long, but I imagine it would be extremely challenging, since you should increase the weight on all exercises each workout, not just the squats. With bench and bent-over rows offering less overall muscle fibre recruitment than squats, and 2.5kgs being the smallest weight increase logistically possible (in my gym, anyway), I imagine that this would be challenging in the extreme.
The book suggests running a strength-building training block after the 20-rep squat program, consisting of more sets with lower rep ranges. It even suggests alternating between six weeks on the 20-rep squat program and six on the strength-building program, extending Super Squats well past the initial six weeks. While this approach is intriguing, I want to try something different, and I would rather have more training days in the week in return for shorter individual workouts.
I've ordered a copy of 5/3/1 and will probably run 531 for Beginners, and then see which template I run after that. I have my eye on the BBB Beefcake 3 Month Challenge, but I'll see when I get there. For now, I'm going to dial back on the eating, to around maintenance levels, for at least a couple of weeks (I need a break from stuffing myself all day).
In the meantime, I can't recommend Super Squats enough! You will surprise yourself on this program.
Well, that turned into a huge wall of text. Thanks very much for taking the time to read if you got this far!

Winter not only brings the beauty of snow-covered landscapes but also a host of challenges, particularly for homeowners. Among these challenges are frozen door locks, which can be a significant inconvenience, especially when you're in a hurry. Using a motor lock kit is the best option to overcome the conditions more easily without taking much time. This guide explores various practical methods to unfreeze your door lock quickly and efficiently, ensuring you can access your home without trouble.

1. Use WD-40

WD-40 is an excellent preventative measure for door locks. Spraying your locks with WD-40 can prevent ice from building up within the lock mechanism. To apply, insert the nozzle directly against the lock opening and spray for about five seconds. For best results, treat your locks with WD-40 twice a week during cold weather to maintain their condition.

2. Cover the Lock Opening

On the other hand, the unfreezing door lock must play an important role, and it must be repaired easier. Protecting the lock opening can significantly reduce the likelihood of freezing. One simple method is to place a strong magnet over the lock. The magnet covers the lock opening, reducing the room for moisture to enter, which is a primary cause of freezing. If a magnet is not available, an alternative is to use a wool sock. Make sure it is snug around the lock to provide sufficient insulation.

3. Apply Vaseline or Petroleum Jelly

Applying a coat of Vaseline or petroleum jelly to your door lock can block moisture and prevent freezing. Smear a small amount onto your key and insert it into the lock, coating the internal mechanism as thoroughly as possible. This method is particularly useful for both traditional and combination locks, providing lasting protection throughout the winter.

4. Utilize Hand Sanitizer

Hand sanitizer is an effective tool for unfreezing locks due to its alcohol content, which lowers the freezing point of water. Simply apply a small amount of hand sanitizer to your key and the lock mechanism. This method not only thaws ice quickly but also helps prevent future ice formation.

5. Keep a De-icer Ready

Always have a bottle of de-icer handy during the winter months. Similar to WD-40, spray the de-icer directly into the keyhole to dissolve any ice within the lock mechanism. Regular application can ensure your locks remain functional even in freezing temperatures.

6. Pour Hot Water (With Caution)

Pouring hot water over a frozen lock is a quick fix that can melt the ice. However, this method requires caution to avoid burns and potential damage to the lock mechanism. Use this method as a last resort and dry the lock thoroughly afterward to prevent refreezing.

7. Use a Hairdryer

If you have access to electricity near the door, using a hairdryer can be a safe and effective way to thaw a frozen lock. Hold the hairdryer a few inches away from the lock and allow the warm air to blow directly onto the frozen mechanism. This method is safe for both home and commercial locks and can unfreeze a lock within minutes.

8. Create Your Own De-icer

Mixing isopropyl alcohol with warm water creates an effective homemade de-icer. Apply this solution directly to the frozen lock to melt the ice. This mixture not only acts as a de-icer but also serves as a cleaning agent, helping maintain the lock in good condition.

9. Explore Advanced Solutions: Nanoparticle De-icers

For those seeking a high-tech solution, consider de-icers that utilize nanoparticle technology. These products are designed to prevent re-freezing and offer protection down to extremely low temperatures. Always check the product details to ensure compatibility with your lock.

Conclusion

Dealing with a frozen door lock is a common winter nuisance, but with the right tools and techniques, it can be easily managed. Whether you choose a simple mechanical method like using WD-40 or a more sophisticated approach like nanoparticle de-icers, the key is to prepare in advance and apply these solutions before the onset of severe weather. By following these tips, homeowners can ensure that their door locks remain accessible and functional, no matter how cold it gets.

Please search any of the following mods on Nexus Mods - Fallout: New Vegas:
Working on the Chain Gang ESM-74958-2-1-1667158496"
WRP - Hotfix-38285-2-2-5-1590168045"
YUP - Base Game and All DLC-51664-12-9-1701436279"
0_80 Hot Fixes-37376-1"
01 T6M Natural Curvy Body (Nude) BB BNB-81346-1-5-3-1-1705542430"
45 Auto Submachine Gun Retexture - Honest Hearts-73064-1-1-1626897328"
360 Movement BNB Animations-75535-1-0-1652574707"
1911_v_1_dot_2-50184-1-2"
A Koch and Bohr Story v1-1-45886-v1-1"
a Smoke before the Storm-82578-2-0-1692819504"
A Thorny Situation v1-0-46048-"
A Wilder Wasteland v1-0-46158-v1-0"
A World Of Pain 6.94-38719-6-94-1685580176"
Afterglow -- LightBright Strip Overhaul Tweaks-83736-1-01-1700333095"
Afterglow -- Neon Illumination-83736-1-0-1699663621"
AK47_v1_1-48392-1-1"
AKS74U_upd1-47648-1-1"
All Explosion Sounds Overhaul BSA and YUP Patch-66946-2-0-1581616735.1"
All-in-one-66955-1-1557788582"
Alternative Start 1-5-45739-1-5"
Ammo box-42551-1-1599021340"
AN94_v_1_0-49600-1-0"
Animated Ingestibles (english)-70139-4-1-1684674884"
ASBTS Scripted Cigarettes-83077-1-1-1705445898"
Asset Pack-71569-13-1644876932"
Asurah Reanimation Pack 0.2.3.2-64339-0-2-3-2-1610371277"
Asurah Reanimation Pack main-64339-0-2-1"
Autumn Leaves-50146-1-030"
AWOP - A World of Pain - Underpass fix-78038-1--1660962454"
AWOP Compatibility Patches-38719-6-01-1556669314"
AWOP Dead Money 2.0-38719-2-0"
AWOP Weapon Mod Patches-38719-6-01-1590590935"
AWOP WRP Patch-38719-6-94-2-1669589734"
AWOP-MoMod-41361-10a"
B42 Inertia V1.2-64335-1-2-1615691254"
B42 Inject-80437-0-15b-1692435172"
B42 Interact-83119-0-14b-1695964659"
B42 Loot-82369-0-15b-1695243927"
BB Cigs-42551-"
Beige Pack-42551-"
Beretta92fs_v1_0-50837-1-0"
Better Brotherhood - YUP Patch-75031-2-4a-1701456413"
Better Brotherhood-75031-2-4a-1701449472"
BetterBetting1mCapDeadMoney-64920-1-1"
BetterStandUp-76443-2-1703547706"
Blood by the Dollar Patch-74958-2-0-1667064117"
BMF 1.01-56742-1-01"
BNB_Armor-35047-1-0"
BNB_BiggerBreasts-35047-1-0"
BNB_Body-35047-1-0"
BNB_Update1-35047-1-0"
BoSUnforgotten-60624-v1-1"
Breeze New Vegas Males - AIO-48222-1-8"
Brotherhood and Legion Truce-74086-5-3-1690769947"
Brotherhood of Steel Paladin Quests-69713-V1-1597789294"
Brotherhood Reforged - Fixed and Cleaned-83339-1-0-1696455793"
BrotherhoodReforged"
Bulk's Sound Pack - Footsteps-77766-1-2a-1700949655"
BulletSnap - Redux - espless 1.2-78967-1-2-1689600460"
Bushmaster_M4A1-48451-1-0"
Camp McCarran Map Markers-42860-1-0"
Camp McCarran monorail animation stand alone version-70213-2-00-1609887871"
Caravan Guard Remastered-83590-1-0-1698523589"
Caravan Guard-58721-1-2"
Caravan Pack Weapons Ironsight Fix-64339-0-1"
Casino Crowds-71037-1-2-1614893989"
Casino Crowds-71037-1-2-1614893989.1"
Casino Heists New Vegas 1.6-59896-1-6-1660648020"
Casino Posters and Signs HD-84302-1-0-1703875632"
Character Kit Remake - Hair-82147-1-0-1690857031"
Character Kit Remake - Hands-82148-1-1-1691365351"
Character Kit Remake - Teeth-82146-1-0-1689501066"
Classic Fallout Weapons Remastered V1.2-73805-1-9-2-1692128971"
Classic Goris-83439-1-0-1697179223"
Classic Pack Weapons Ironsight Fix-64339-0-1"
Coito Ergo Sum 4.20 FULL VERSION-56156-4-20-1677188838"
Common globe-42551-1"
CompanionsCommander_11-36523-1-1"
CompanionsInfiniteAmmo-37602-1-1"
CompanionsTeleporter-36523-1-05"
Compass Height Indicator-67068-2-0-1693172382"
Compatibility Patch for VGO 1.3 and Roberts Male Body FNV 3.4-68500-1-0-1584792648"
Compatibility Patch for VGO 1.4 and Fallout Character Overhaul 3.0-68500-1-2-1584907027"
Compatibility Patch for VGO 1.4 and Van Graff Hostility Fix-68500-1-1-1585586406"
Config INI-71569-13-01-1698109570"
Daniel - Unique Textures 1-1-83624-1-1-1698892210"
Dead Money DLC weapons ironsight fix-64339-0-1"
Decaying Ferals-83726-0-01-1699482598"
Deimos V1_05-43411-1-05"
Desert Eagle v1.0-56745-1-0"
Dimonized Type 3 AIO Installer-54438-3-5-1561863093"
Dismemberment Tweaks-80369-1-1678531588"
DLC Followers - All-In-One-74426-1-1-1-1637325547"
Download-55283-"
Dragunov SVU v 1.0-57297-1-0"
Dramatic Inertia - 3rd Person Movement Overhaul-82035-1-3-1702856996"
Dramatic Staggering-84262-1-1703548049"
DSI-48094-1-1a"
Duct Tape-42551-"
Earthblighted Tunnelers-84319-0-01-1703987665"
ELECTRO-CITY v12A-37908-V12A"
Energy Visuals Plus 2.0 -- EVE Patch-83105-1-0-1695161808"
Enhanced Blood Textures-34917-2-22c"
Enhanced Bullet Impacts-61804-1-0"
Enhanced Camera 1.4c-55334-1-4c-1544995335"
EVE Patch-64339-1-18-1610475958"
EVE v1.19-42666-1-19-1623957051"
Expanded Mojave - Mojave Outpost-82713-1-0-1692710596"
Eyes of Torment - Ghost People Retexture-83768-0-01-1699826217"
Factions Reloaded Followers V1.5.2-53041-1-5-2-1611961598"
Factions Reloaded Legion V2.3-51983-2-3-1690336838"
Factions Reloaded Raiders V2.2-52309-2-2-1689369283"
Fallout 4 Power Armor Features-65417-1-8-4-1657830228"
Fallout Character Overhaul 3.0-54460-3-0"
Fallout Character Overhaul purple mouth fix-75842-1-0-1648161122"
Fallout New Vegas ArchiveInvalidation Invalidated-35935-beta"
FAMAS F1 1.1-58824-1-1"
FCO - A World Of Pain-76179-3-4-2-1655389404"
FCO - Caravan Guard-77070-1-1655374739"
FCO - DLC Followers All-In-One Complete-75897-1-6-1-1655313894"
FCO - Russel Addon Expansion-70303-1-0-1604611326"
FCO - Russell Expanded-76048-2-4-1649309173"
FCO - The Last Few Edits-63465-1-2-1611445902"
Fire hydrant-42551-"
FNV NPCs Travel-54107-1-0-0"
FNV Quantum Sling v1.0-70770-1-0-1609894292"
FNV Realistic Wasteland Lighting All DLC-52037-v5-542-1542790908"
FNV Sexual Innuendo Animation plugin v003-36659-003"
FNV Sexual Innuendo NPCs plugin version 007-36659-007"
FO4 PA Features The Frontier-65417-1-8-3-1627853330"
FO4 Power Armors - FNV Compatibility Edition"
For The Enclave 4-0-39531-4-0"
FPS Lowering Weapons-80995-1-6-1701642566"
FPSWeaponWheel113-39997-1-13"
Freeside Overhaul - Episode I-81389-V1-1-1686100362"
FrontierAddons Combined All-in-One-71201-v2-1-1658540525"
Frozen Hit Rockomotion-79828-2-0-2-1678764575"
Functional Post Game Ending-66726-6-6-1703283263"
G36K_v_1-0-56125-1-0"
GRA WRP Unofficial Patch Ironsight Fix-64339-2-1"
Great Khan Graffiti Redone-83348-1-2-1696615291"
Greater Khans - Fixed and Cleaned-83352-1-0-1696538553"
GreatKhanGreatOverhaul"
Gun Runners Actually Run Guns 1 dot 8-42503-1-8"
Gun Runners Arsenal weapons ironsight fix-64339-0-1"
Height Randomizer Config-78278-1-0-1662456628"
Height Randomizer-70159-1-1-1604323492"
HH 45 Retexture-83233-V1-01-1695902562"
HI-RES Chems and Health ReTexture Pak-40302"
HiRes Skill Books Retexture V1.0-61273-1-0"
Hit - B42 Inject - Meat Anims-83906-1-1701225186"
Hit - B42 Inject - Sunset Sarsaparilla Animations-83993-1-1701797503"
Hit - B42 Inject Anim Pack - Season 1-80531-1-0-1679595175"
Hit - B42 Interact - New Vegas Bounties I LE-83096-1-1695504537"
Hit - B42 Interact Animation Pack-83096-1-01-1695579668"
Hit - B42 Interact Animation Pack-83096-1-01-1695579668.1"
Hit - B42 Interact Skinning-83161-1-1695497868"
Hit B42 Inject - Random 1-84439-1-1704730621"
Hit Marker Sounds - ESP-77268-release-1656730677"
HK_CAWS_v1_1-48433-1-1"
Honest Hearts DLC weapons ironsight fix-64339-0-2"
Honest Hearts Signs HD-82969-1-1-1697133032"
Hoss Mods - Sanctuary HH Home-70186-1-1-1646726106"
Hotfix Version 0.6.5-68009-0-6-5-1619083228"
Humping the Mojave v003-43773-v003"
If it wasn't for Betsy 2.5-59265-2-5"
If It Wasnt For Betsy-46574-v0-1"
Iguazu Shopping Center v2-62317-2-0"
IMI Galil 1.0-59635-1-0"
IMI_UZI_v_1_0-48523-1-0"
Immersive Hit Reactions
Immersive Recoil 2.0
Improved Console-70801-3-1702935922"
Improved Lighting Shaders-69833-1-5beta4a-1668774269"
Interior Lighting Overhaul 6-9-35794-6-9"
Iron Sight Recoil Animations kNVSE-75581-2-0-1673050083"
ISControl-75417-2-3-1688602677"
ISInertia v1.1-83648-1-1-1705167646"
Jacobstown Expanded-36421"
Jacobstown Lodge Suite-79949-1-1675869578"
Jacobstown Pond Fix-64103-1-0"
JacobsTown-51927-"
Jet Pack Effect for Aerial Assault Armor-50829-"
JIP LN NVSE Plugin-58277-57-21-1694289677"
JohnnyGuitarNVSE-66927-4-98-1701208963"
Joshua Graham Companion MAIN-56791-1-3"
Joshua Graham Outfit 2K Retexture-74202-1-0-1635320209"
JSRS Sound Mod 2.1 - Main File-81585-2-11-1689512817"
KatieNPC ENGLISH version 2_6 FULL-45150-2-6"
KEYWORDS-83088-1-01-1695964898"
Khan Assets (more pronounced signs)-72798-V1-1624577442"
Khans Forever-82521-v1-0-1691702006"
kNVSE-71336-20-1632181674"
KOTR Version 1 dot 04-56353-1-04"
L96A1_v_1_1-50805-1-1"
Lazarus - SMI Gun Runners V2 (Collision Fix)-75562-V2-1-1647360702"
LegionTerritoriesExpanded-68527-1-0-0-1584907535"
Level 100 and Perk Per Level-43055-1-3-1550210717"
LightBright Strip Overhaul-77093-3-1-1694229498"
Lime's Fort Overhaul-73749-1-20-1632706091"
Live Dismemberment
Lucky 38 Suite Reloaded Version 4.8 ESM-55540-4-8"
M14_v1-48477-1-0"
M37 Ithaca v1_1-47457-1-1"
MAC Beta Sexual Innuendo-36759"
Main File - All you need-45557-1"
Main File - Total Package Update 10-23-2021-50751-018-5-8-1635004434"
Main file-62682-0-2"
MainFile-74132-1-3v-1645220297"
Marcus Companion 0_80 Full-37376-0-80"
markers1b-36689"
Master Build-68009-0-5-5-1614054783"
MatebaModel6_v1_2-48499-1-2"
MauserC96_1dot1-48317-1-1"
McCarran South Gate Restored-71708-1-7-3-1625866293"
Melee Sounds-77766-0-5-1678726237"
Mikeburnfire's NPCs and Quests-70988-1-1-1676463261"
Millenia AK74 Patch-64339-0-1"
Millenia AKS74U Patch-64339-0-1"
Millenia Colt M4A1 Patch-64339-0-1"
Millenia Desert Eagle Patch-64339-0-2"
Millenia HK CAWS Fix-64339-0-1"
Millenia L96 Fix-64339-0-1"
Millenia M-14 Patch-64339-0-1"
Millenia M37 Ithaca Patch-64339-0-1"
Millenia PPSH-41 patch-64339-0-1"
Millenia Remington 870 Sawn-Off Patch-64339-0-2-3-1610376337"
Millenia STEN MK2 Patch-64339-0-1"
Millenia TOZ66 Patch-64339-0-1"
MLF-68714-3-1-1691312308"
MMRE ESPs-44139-1-0"
MMRE Music Pack 1-44139-1-0"
MMRE Music Pack 2-44139-1-0"
MMRE Music Pack 3-44139-1-0"
MMRE Music Pack 4-44139"
MM's Hit Marker SFX-84498-1-0-1705158422"
MNTLs Energy Weapons Sound Pack 1_3-52684-1-3"
Mojave Delight For Type3 V1dot1-44312-1-1-1666593552"
Mojave Express Courier Delivery Work - Primm-77176-2-5-1689168964"
Mojave NPCs-72615-2-2-1703969750"
Monster Mod Re-Release-41361-10b"
Mop bucket_flat mop-42551-"
More Perks Reimagined-76584-3-0-1-1652840544"
NAWEMO-65499-1-3-3-1626792344"
NCR Rearmament Lore-Friendly 1_5-40139"
Nefarious Nipton-80578-0-2-1684856493"
Nevada Skies 2281 Rework-35998-Final-Rework-1622851359"
Nevada Skies 2281 Rework-35998-Final-Rework-1622851359.1"
New Vegas Script Extender (xNVSE)-67883-6-3-4-1696621396"
New Vegas Stories New and Alproved-66505-1-2-1552144100"
NivSpiceofLife-V 1_2-44476-1-2"
NMC_NVInteriors Compatibility Patch Small v2.0-43534-v2-0-1551560025"
NMCs Textures NV LARGE Pack Part 1 of 3 FOR NMM -43135-1-0"
NMCs Textures NV LARGE Pack Part 2 of 3 FOR NMM -43135-1-0"
NMCs Textures NV LARGE Pack Part 3 of 3 FOR NMM-43135-1-0"
NMCs Textures NV MEDIUM Pack Part 1 of 2 FOR NMM-43135-1-0"
NMCs Textures NV MEDIUM Pack Part 2 of 2 FOR NMM -43135-1-0"
NMCs Textures NV SMALL Pack SINGLE FILE FOR NMM-43135-1-0"
Novac Gun Runners-74981--8-1684355606"
Novac Overhaul And Gun Runners Emporium NV Novac Apartments Compatible patch-74981-V-08-1662917931"
NPCs Sprint In Combat-68179-2-13-1623455074"
NPCs use Aid Items-68742-2-3-1605058088"
NV - Energy Visuals Plus 2-80000-2-3-1685437455"
NV Novac Apartment - Main-55531-1-48-1586720487"
NVAC - New Vegas Anti Crash-53635-7-5-1-0"
NVBI Version 1 dot 55-37310-1-55"
NVBII Version 1 dot 47-41184-1-47"
NVBIII Version .954 FULL-55744--954"
NVCS Installer-68776-13-1675087064"
NVCS Installer-68776-13-1675087064+2"
NVInteriors Core v2.1.1-43534-v2-1-1--1551573205"
NVK Version 1.0-56408-1-0"
NVR V10-35100"
NVR VMinimum-35100"
NVTF-66537-10-2-2-3-1685050240"
NVWillow v1.10-41779-1-10"
Ojo Bueno Texture Pack for FNV - HIGH-39755-Quiznak"
Old World Radio part 5-47577-3-5"
Old World Radio part 6-47577-4-0"
Old World Radio part 7-47577-4-5"
Old World Radio Update X Minus ONE Radio added-47577-2-0"
Old World Radio Update Rangers Radio added-47577-3-0"
Old World Radio Update The French Connection Radio added-47577-2-5"
Old World Radio-47577-1-5"
Outside Bets V 1-4-46648-V1-4"
Pacers Gambit V1-0-46584-V1-0"
Pancor_Jackhammer-47528-1-0"
Pin-up Loading Screens 1920x1080-63663-1-0"
PipBoy 3000 HD Retexture - PC and Xbox-54609-3-52"
PKM 1.0-57253-1-0"
PM's Med-Textures v1.0-62946-1-0"
PN-For the Enclave visor patch-72932-1-0-1625393614"
Pointlight Flashlight-77787-3-1-0-1676259796"
Populated Camp Golf and McCarran-81283-1-1685088310"
Populated Casinos Medium-35369-V0-96"
Populated Casinos V0_96-35369-V0-96"
Populated Strip Freeside and Casinos Light Version-81408-2-1688967130"
PPSH41_1_dot_0-49910-1-0"
Prodlimen Creature Pack-71569-13-01-1698109543"
Project Nevada - DLC Support 1_3-42363-1-3"
Project Nevada - EVE Support 1_2-42363-1-2"
Project Nevada - WME Support 1_1-42363-1-1"
Project Nevada - WMX Support 1_3-42363-1-3"
Project Nevada 2_5-40040-2-5"
Ragdolls-59147-5-3-9--1606565785"
random stimpak-80705-1-1680953623"
Real Time Reflections-82343-1-3-4-1695802057"
Remington870SawedOff-47255-1-4"
Robbable Caravans-69863-1-3-1599748714"
RobCo Certified-43331-1-26-1629323936"
Roberts AIO - NMM Compatible-48535-1-3"
Roberts Boner Addon 3_3-54731-3-3"
Roberts New Vegas Main - Nude 3_4-54731-3-4"
Rotface to Riches v1-2-45799-V1-2"
Ruger SR-556-55872-1-2"
Run the Lucky 38 V3-0-40531-3-0"
Russell Version 1.17-50107-1-17"
Saxxons Quest Collection 0_85-52197-0-85"
SD_Capture-82597-0-1-4-1692771648"
SD_Fatigue-78111-0-2-2-1692772121"
Securitrons New and Shiny-71123-1-4-1616002669"
Securitrons On Alert-69245-4-5-2-1705169732"
Shadow of the Behemoth - Legion Monster Overhaul-62339-1-2"
ShiFixedWithUpdate-60333-1-1"
Shogo Heavy Industries Grammar and Misc Fixes v2.0-66390-2-0-1575837609"
Shogo Heavy Industries v1dot04a RC ESM FULL 11-04-13-50829-v1-04a"
Shogo PN patch 1.2-63371-1-2-0-1568396559"
ShowOff xNVSE-72541-1-75-1695871012"
Sierra Madre On The Strip v3-0-41573-v3"
Simple ENB-78494-1-00-1664439091"
SMOTS-Compatible NVR V10-41573-v10"
Someguy Series 2 dot 0-48925-2-0"
Sound Extender-78637-1-0-1665677845"
Speedy Resource Pack V3_1-39551-3-1"
SRI Vehicles Catalogue-84028-1-0-1702005072"
Sten_mk_II-50645-1-0"
Stewie Tweaks-66347-8-85-1703088034"
Strip Lights Region Fix-73596-1-3-1-1703847752"
SUP NVSE Plugin-73160-8-55-1703949554"
Super HD Donald Trump Mugshot Replacer-82775-V1-01-1693097989"
Super Mutant Behemoth Restoration-75427-2-0-1648669227"
Super Mutant Overhaul - Overlords-64293-1-4-1670879328"
Super Mutants HD - 4k-64214-1-1"
Super Mutants of the Mojave-77277-1-1656534521"
Supermutant Attack9 hotfix for 0.2.1-64339-0-2-1"
T4 - Main-66903-2-e-1666044033"
T6M Equipment Replacer NV v1_0-45505-1-0"
Take Chems Make Fiends-63582-1-6-1613932089"
Tales of New Reno Episode One-63128-2-04-1704177957"
Tales of New Reno Episode Two-68380-2-03-1674093616"
Tales of New Reno Episode Zero - Update File 2.03-62288-2-03-1658192504"
Tales of New Reno Episode Zero-62288-2-02-1656474097"
Taurus_Raging_Bull_v_1_0-48570-1-0"
The Couriers Cache Main-49531-1-2"
The Inheritance Version 1 dot 29-49012-1-29"
The Living Desert - Main File 2.5-64623-2-5-1686689413"
The Mod Configuration Menu-42507-1-5"
The Strip South Gate-76676-1-1653175950"
TNRCore-68374-2-3-1656459979"
TOZ-66_v_1-0-56378-1-0"
Type4 Mojave Delight V1dot1-44312-1-1-1666777099"
UIO - User Interface Organizer-57174-2-30-1629600625"
Uncut Extra Collection-56625-0-92-4-1686342903"
Uncut Wasteland Patch-74958-2-0-1667065063"
Uncut Wasteland plus NPCs.-56625-0-91b"
Unlimited Companions 101-34870"
Unofficial Patch NVSE Plus-71239-1-4-8-1690711837"
Update 2_5-35047-1"
Urban Strip Overhaul V.1.1-68741-1-1-1589401691"
Van Graff Hostility Fix - Updated-40742-1-1"
Van Graff Overhaul 1.4-68500-1-4-1584906767"
Van Graff Symbol Ressource-68500-1-0-1584907758"
Vanessa-56270-2-1-1592001873"
Vanessa-56270-2-1-1592001873.1"
Vanilla weapon ironsight fix (Non - DLC)-64339-0-1"
Vanilla Weapon Scale Fix-83245-1-0-1695975410"
Voice Assets-82597-0-1-2-1692133762"
Vortex Archive Invalidation"
Walking Inertia-71373-2-0-1660525142"
Wasteland Flora Overhaul 3.6e - Fertile-39856-3-6e-1690206060"
Wasteland Sex Module version H-36659-H"
Weapon Mesh Improvement Mod-65052-1-3-1658869646"
Weapon Modification Expansion 1101-37576-1-101"
Weapon Mods Expanded v1_1_4-39651-1-1-4"
Weapon Retexture Project - WRP-38285-2-2-3-1590027446"
weapondrawsounds-77766-0-1670165962"
Willow - Type 4-73464-1-2-1645546862"
Witcher Rifle Hoster-63320-0-4"
WME - DLCs-37576"
WME - GRA-37576-1-01"
WMX - EVE Compatibility v1.0.10-39651-1-0-10"
WMX - Modern Weapons v1_0_7-39651-1-0-7"
WMX Patch-74958-2-1-1667066945"
WMX-DLC v1_0_2-39651-1-0-2"

As title.
Perhaps I am not alone in having made a duff assumption and thrown away "bricked" wands/off hands wrongly - Based on previous seasons, I assumed that the 4 elemental damage sources had to be [Fire, Cold, Lightening, Poison].
Good news, its not just poison the rings effect. Fire, lightening, cold do too - as you expect - but so does Shadow!
What caused me to overlook this and wait for a poison roll, was the fact that the "Physical" one did not proc Tal Rasha and this, unfortunately, was the very first one I tested.
Note: Will proc Tal Rasha twice if you temper "Elemental Surge" on both a wand and off-hand. Most likely, I can see this being used as an alternative to using Ice blades / Frozen orb enchantment for a cold proc.
And I hope this means we can all, finally, not be all but forced to use firebolt enchantment in every single build
ALL HAIL THE REWORK!!

WPA – A Completely Average Roadtrip
Disclaimer: Not canon, and I don’t use patreon so please don’t spoil me. Also, any opinion held by a character is that of the characters and not my own. Enjoy.
Town of Ljosalfington, local time 14:00, week 7
Emma Booker
“Again Illunor, I warned you before that this is a utility vehicle, not a party rated smart-limo. I am already compromising more than I should by allowing you to use the sample cooler as a minifridge, one which I can’t even use!” I said as I loaded the materials I had just purchased into the back of the high-G All terrain fusion-ethanol-electric hybrid 24th-century legacy pickup truck that I had printed out earlier this week, carefully avoiding the heavy ordinance hard point.
“That is hardly an excuse for that abysmally cramped leg space barely fit for cattle, never mind the bare minimum for standard decorum suitable for nobility. If this is what a car is like, then I don’t see why you care for your technology,” complained Illunor, who was sitting around idly with a malformed garish bowl of icecream that he had stashed away from lunch.
“If it bothers you so much, perhaps you could help next time with your ‘bigger-on-the-inside’ magic,” I retorted as I slid the last core sample into the back before covering it up with a tarp and strapping it down.
I had originally planned to visit Ljosalfington by myself to acquire much needed exo-materials to test various mana manipulator configurations as I worked to develop my first wand as not all of the materials I needed were procurable locally from Elaseer. I eventually yielded, much to my regret, to allowing Illunor to come with me as he insisted on wanting to deliver a letter personally in town after Thacea had pointed out the wisdom of not travelling alone.
We continued our back and forth for a bit yet as I finished securing my payload a voice called out to me from the direction of the town.
“Excuse me a moment, I couldn’t help but notice but are you from the academy?”
I turned to see an elf dressed in a plain brown buttoned up tunic matched by a slightly shabby pair of trousers with what appeared to be a lute upon his back and a plain and unenchanted longsword on his belt gesturing at our robes. Mine especially were new and unusual, tailored by the academy to go over my armour and allow access to the anchor points and allow me to exit my armour with minimal hassle. Illunor scoffed at what was evidently a commoner’s arrogance at approaching nobility and turned his head away in disgust. I glanced at Illunor and shook my head before turning to face the new man. I had time to spare, and any opportunity to engage in a hearts-and-minds dialogue with the locals outside the bounds of the managed environment of the academy was more than worth the time to chat. Especially as most of the other locals seemed to be content in ignoring me.
“Yes, we are currently studying at the Transgracian Academy. I am Cadet Emma Booker representing the United Nations of Earth and Luna from Earthream, and my aloof compatriot is Lord Illunor Rularia of the Vunerian courts. We were just about to head back but are in no rush. May I ask your name and what brings you by?” I asked with my hand outstretched in greeting.
“Ah yes, yes. My name is Edhel Redoehdelnif, a wandering bard by trade like my father and his father before him. My apologies, Cadet Emma Booker, I am unfamiliar with Earthrealm,” said Edhel as he grasped my hand with both of his and shook it tepidly yet vigorously. Or rather, tried to, as the motors on my suit resisted his efforts.
“News doesn’t seem to spread all that fast around here, so it makes sense you haven’t heard of us. We’re a new realm, and only just got here. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Edhel Redoehdelnif,” I replied.
“Absolutely fascinating! And a knight no less, or perhaps a squire? I’m sure you have many stories to tell of Earthrealm. Say, by chance are you about to head back to the academy? I have business in Elaseer and the usual coach has been absent as of late so I would rather not go it alone,” said Edhel.
I was hesitant to bring a stranger back in the car with me, even if Illunor was present. However, the opportunity that meeting a bard presented was too good to pass up from an intel perspective and to win the favour of the populace at large.
“That is a great idea. I think I have room for one more…” I paused before gesturing towards Illunor, “provided everyone is ok with it that is.”
Illunor gave a huff and turned his head away in silence.
“Very well, I will allow this. But he will not be joining me in your sorry excuse for a coach,” said Illunor dismissively.
Illunor approached the backseat expectantly and the door opened for him automatically, allowing the dlc kobold to gracefully enter and lounge across the length of the seats, once again ignoring the seatbelts. I sighed as I made my way to the driver’s seat, and Edhel entered from the passenger side as he marveled at the automatic doors and the interior.
“What a strange carriage this is! Although I must say, shouldn’t you be retrieving your horses? I didn’t see any harnesses or sense any artifices,” inquired Edhel as he attempted to make himself comfortable on the car seat, lute in front of him.
“Oh no, this thing doesn’t need horses or magic,” I said with a chuckle as EVI started the car. The elf raised his eyebrows at the sudden hum of the engine and made an expression of alarm when the car started driving itself without my input. “See, purrs like a kitten.”
“Earthrealm must have some large kittens if they purr like that,” noted Edhel, “but you must be concealing the enchantments somewhere. Such a thing as this with such strange yet precise craftsmanship is only possible in the crownlands.”
“Nope, no magic,” I said cheerfully.
“Then how?” Asked Edhel.
“It’s rather simple really. Are you familiar with the workings of a mill?” I asked, deciding to keep things surface level and elementary to avoid provoking the IDOV threshold.
“Somewhat, though I confess to not being familiar with their workings. Are you suggesting this is akin to a mill?” Asked Edhel perplexed.
“It’s the same principal. A mill works by taking a source of rotation such as a waterwheel or windmill, transferring that rotation along a series of rotating shafts and interlocking gears, and finally putting that energy to work by rotating a millstone,” I began as the car pulled out onto the smooth cobbled road in the direction of Elaseer. A notification popped up in the corner of my vision indicating my recon drone swarm had shifted from a holding formation to a convoy screening formation, and while the roads were clear I kept the speed at 60km/h to account for my passenger’s apparent distaste for seatbelts.
“Rotation…” muttered Edhel. He turned to face one of the wheels and EVI pinged an alert for a probable match for a detection spell, “fascinating.”
“Edhel, what are you doing?” I asked.
“Oh, yes, perhaps I should have asked first. Yes, I can see how it all fits together. But the source of this rotation? I see no mighty river or great wind to power this, so where does it come from?” Asked Edhel, not really apologizing. Elven arrogance, it seemed, was not limited by class.
The act reminded me of Sorecar when he inspected my gun, but where the armourer had been respectful with it, Edhel was more flippant. I considered the possibility that he was a spy sent by one of her peers or the crownlands, though this did not mesh with the methods I had seen so far. Edhel may have been just overly enthusiastic. In either case, I quickly decided to only reveal the antique design for the ethanol engine, and not that of the batteries or the emergency coupler to my suit’s fusion reactor.
“Right, well please ask first next time. As to your question, I won’t bore you with the details, but the rotation is generated by creating a periodic sequence of explosions inside of a machine – a manaless artifice – called a combustion engine, said Emma.
“So that’s what that sound is…” pondered Edhel, “are these artifices typical in Earthream?”
“You are awfully inquisitive for a commoner,” noted Illunor as he inspected his nails for dirt, “and rather accepting of something which should be impossible.”
“I wouldn’t be much of a bard if I wasn’t, my lord,” said Edhel shifting uncomfortably in his seat, “perhaps some music might set the mood better?”
“That would be preferable, bard. I have heard enough of the Earthrealmer’s Road Trip Playlist and would like to listen to some music of real culture,” said Illunor.
The bard agreed and proceeded to awkwardly play a ballad about an adventurer who slew a hydra in some frozen wasteland. Partway through, I politely interrupted the Edhel to point out the seat controls much to his fascination and Illunor’s grumbling at their common nature, and after some adjustment the bard went on playing and I half-heartedly listened while I paid attention to the road and my drone feed.
Particularly after EVI detected something unusual and alerted me to its presence.
”Attention Caded Booker. There is a disabled vehicle blocking the primary route to destination. Heat signatures in the woods are consistent with that of an ambush.”
“Damn it,” I muttered.
I glanced at the drone feed to see a broken cart strewn horizontally across a wooden bridge over a brook. On the surface it looked like a pair of civilians who required aid and assistance, but off in the woods were several heat signatures, several of which held weapons of varying levels of enchantments. Occasionally one of the pair on the bridge would talk with them, suggesting they were in cahoots rather than hostages. I recalled crossing that very bridge not a few hours earlier, so the blockade was very recent.
“EVI, did we pass that cart on the way here?” I asked.
”Negative,” replied EVI.
I grimaced. I had been trained to handle road-side ambushes, but it was only something that was a theoretical possibility. Something that should only occur in a warzone or a corrupt and unstable polity. I knew I had the capacity to handle such an encounter, even non-lethally, but that didn’t change the fact that these were civilians and as such were the responsibility of local law enforcement. Combined with the fact that I had passengers I was responsible for and engaging the ambush was a risky option.
“EVI, give me a list of alternative routes,” I commanded.
”Affirmative. Here is a list of routes in order of recommendation,” replied EVI.
I looked over the routes superimposed on a map of the region and quickly dismissed taking a shortcut through the forest and cutting through farmland. A detour caught my eye that extended the journey by roughly ten kilometers and I immediately sent a pair of drones to scout it out before committing to the detour.
“Are you alright, Cadet Emma Booker? You seem distracted,” asked Edhel, snapping me back to reality.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just focused on driving,” replied Emma.
“I suppose it must be quite taxing to command an artificed carriage of this complexity. Perhaps it might ease your mind if you were to regale me a tale of a hero of your realm?” Said Edhel, strumming a complex tune from his lute as he spoke as each and every pluck triggered a low-level spell.
“Well, that may be a problem. We don’t have any monsters to fight, and wars are a thing of the past,” I said while desperately tip-toeing the subject of aunt Ran, the subject of war, and our voyages through the cosmos, “though we are not without the adventurous spirit. We certainly have many stories of grand voyages. Some mythical and fictional such as The Odyssey as told by the Greek poet Homer and some historical such as the race to the south pole.”
“The south pole,” muttered the bard, “so you have explored all of Earthrealm then? I suppose that makes some sense, if you have artifices such as this then traversal of a globe would be quite manageable.”
“You are quite perceptive,” I said, not wishing to elaborate.
“A great performer knows his audience,” said Edhel with a charming, honest, almost human smile.
I felt a pang of homesickness as an intrusive thought reminded me that I could have gone to a real college surrounded by friendly faces my age, engaging in nightly holostreams and dreaming of adventures in the stars from the safety of a college dorm room. The sight of Illunor in the rear camera was the only thing that kept me grounded, as I almost felt like I was back at home on a road trip rather than returning to a fantasy feudal court, constantly evading death at every turn with the fate of humanity on the line. As such, and prompted by EVI, I barely had the wherewithal to take the planned detour.
A fact which did not pass by Edhel.
“I believe you may have taken a wrong turn, Emma,” he commented.
“Nah, I’m just taking the scenic route. I came from that direction on the way here, and you have inspired me to see the other road and I figure it should only add a few extra minutes to our travel time,” I said, gesturing at a paper map which I had referenced exactly once, “though on that subject, you seem to know these lands quite well. Do you have any recommendations on places to visit in the Nexus to scratch that itch?”
Illunor raised his eyebrow at the detour excuse, knowing full well this was not part of the plan. I worried that he might complain about the issue and but thankfully remained silent as he snacked on the contents of the misused sample storage unit. Edhel himself took on a more pensive posture.
“I’m happy to have been such an inspiration, Emma, though I am sure an explorer such as yourself has little need of such. I would normally suggest the skyward fountains of Verdellan or the cloud tides of Asturia, but that may be too casual for someone of your calibre. Perhaps the severed chasm or the fire marsh of Bhandahova may be more to your liking. Or perhaps…” Edhel leaned in, “I have heard rumours of a dragon in the glassy obsidian wastes of Vurcanar.”
I chuckled at that, knowing how I was fortunate enough to fish a dragon scale out of the nearby lake for the ECS. “The thought of going dragon hunting had certainly crossed my mind…” I mused aloud.
“Yet you sound hesitant. Perhaps it is too much for a newrealmer. Perhaps a slime or a dire rat might be more appropriate,” he said with a tease.
“No, it’s not like that! It’s” I stammered, before attempting to change course after realizing I had been goaded, “what I mean is, I was under the impression that dragons were an endangered species. Where I come from, hunting endangered animals is usually illegal, and big game hunting in general is frowned upon. We do make exceptions in the case of problem animals such as if a large predator starts hunting humans, but as a rule we prefer conservation and try to find ways of coexisting with wildlife such as the use of barrier fences and scaring away dangerous animals rather than being forced to cull their numbers. Having a species go extinct would prevent future generations from appreciating them and risks destabilizing the ecosystem they are a part of. Now if this dragon was actively razing villages and eating civilians and livestock, that would be one thing, but this does not look to be the case. I don’t imagine the Nexus has any settlements in this wasteland, and the dragon clearly wants to be left alone. Killing an innocent dragon would be murder.”
I grinned to myself after delivering a diatribe that would have made my tenth grade social and environmental studies teacher beam with pride, though by the expressions of my passengers my view did not appear to be shared. Edhel’s mouth was agape in shock and fascination, while the Venurian in the back seat merely huffed in disapproval.
“I assure you Newrealmer, there are no innocent dragons,” stated Illunor with a hint of terseness breaking through his otherwise regal demeanor.
“Illunor, I understand that Venurians have personal reasons for not liking dragons, but you can’t just extend that disdain to their descendants or those uninvolved just because they are the same species,” I said.
“If I may interject on your behalf, my lord, I believe I can address Cadet Emma Booker’s concerns,” said Edhel with a bow. Illunor nodded in approval.
“Very well, you may proceed,” he said.
“Thank you, my lord. My dear Emma, you must understand that dragons are not simple animals driven entirely off of instinct as it appears to be the case in Earthrealm. They are monsters. Intelligent, long-lived, violent, greedy, cruel, territorial, selfish flesh-eating monsters. They are evil by the very nature of their being, unable to change by their own accord, and unwilling to change when His Eternal Majesty offered them freedom from their nature. It isn’t that they want to be evil. As intelligent animals – intelligent monsters – dragons are capable of understanding morality, and many have tried to overcome their evil nature at great expense to themselves. A well intended and noble sentiment, yet a doomed one as like all animals, they all succumb to their nature in the end. Overcoming one’s nature is impossible,” said Edhel. His eyes took on a stoic, almost remorseful gaze as he spoke, and Illunor nodded with approval.
I was appalled by this claim, not by the contents so much as how blatantly false it was. As a representative of the human race, I was a living counterexample to his whole argument. We had remained physiologically unchanged as a species since the last Ice Age, and yet in spite of that, in spite of our many flaws, we had found peace and balance. If we could do it, anyone could do it.
“Will all due respect Edhel, that is nonsense. Monsters aren’t born, they are made. It is the mark of any intelligent species can adapt their behaviour to their environment for better or worse, and under the right care any so-called monster can grow to be a force for good,” I began, but while I searched for the right words Edhel shook his head.
“I appreciate your race is an empathetic one, Emma, your idealism is unfounded. As flesh eaters, a dragon must take the life of another animal or person to survive, or they will perish. As such, every dragon has taken a life. As long-lived creatures, they will have amassed a significant number of kills. As the land can only support so much animals, a dragon must be fiercely territorial and aggressive to remove competition, lest they starve. As such, even the most kind-hearted dragon alive must be violent and greedy, and their intelligence fuels this even more so if they know a bountiful land of morsels exists just outside their range.
Now perhaps a multitude of dragons may find a way to co-exist together in some settlement, but to support such a venture would require a large territory of prey, or a livestock animal. Perhaps they could support a large colony by farming grain for their livestock, but that would require effort on their behalf. As large animals, such efforts require a great deal of energy. Yet that size makes it easy for them to intimidate smaller races to do their labour for them, and to keep their client race in line dragons must be cruel. And even so, as their numbers grow so do their needs. As such, they must expand into the lands of their neighbours to survive until there is nothing left to devour, at which point they must turn against their own lest they starve. As such, it is the nature of dragons to conquer and devour. That is why there is no such thing as an innocent dragon,” finished Edhel.
I was speechless, not because I believed Edhel had a point, but because I was horrified at how easy he found it to rationalize the extermination of an entire sapient species. If this was how the elves thought, then it wasn’t the dragons who were the monsters. I suppressed that dark thought. Edhel’s thought process was a product of his culture, not a feature of his elven heritage. If there was any hope of peace between our people, I needed to show him there was another way of being. I needed to prove that co-existence was possible, no matter one’s nature.
I took a deep breath to steady myself before replying.
“That- that is a callous way of seeing things,” I began, though the shock was still there in my voice, “you speak as though there is no natural equilibrium with a dragon, that their only state of being must be to be cruel, to devour, to conquer. But I see things differently. In fact, I might wonder if a fledgling civilization might see the presence of a dragon as a boon rather than a curse. Being intelligent, the locals may be able to come to some agreement with the dragon. Perhaps they might leave some land as a hunting ground or offer up a share of their cattle or guard the dragon as it sleeps. In exchange, the dragon might allow them to build a town outside its mountain and protect them in times of danger. An equitable exchange. A civilization might even create artificial lairs to attract dragons for this very reason. True, some dragons may behave tyrannical towards their town, but a well armed populace of a large city would be more than capable of fighting such a threat, and a rational dragon might reason that threatening their own populace would put their reliable source of food and shelter at risk. You see, it’s all a matter of perspective.”
“You certainly are an imaginative one, Emma, to wonder up a quixotic world where the hare and the fox live together in harmony as equals. Even so, you seem to have ignored one key detail to such a society. What would happen should the dragon not be fed for months on end?” Asked Edhel with his eyebrow raised.
“The same thing as stranded a dozen starving, stranded Elves!” I spat back.
[Alert: Vehicle speed above recommended limit for conditions. Recommendation: slow down. ]
“I am driving slow!” I seethed, not realizing I had sped up with manual control enabled.
“I grow tired of this common prattle,” interjected Illunor just in time to prevent an awkward silence, “bard, play us another song.” “As my lord wishes,” said Edhel with a bow before turning to me with another smile, “perhaps a more soothing melody would be in order? A love song perhaps, to honour Cadet Booker’s compassionate nature?”
I said nothing as Edhel began to strum his lute again to the tune of a love story of a pair of doomed lovers named Ramian and Junette, hating his cheeky knowing grin that only served to get under my skin further as I focused on calming down and slowing the car back to a more reasonable pace before investigating a priority alert which I had been blinded to moments prior.
[Alert: hostile roadblock is absent, location unknown.]
Shit.
“Illunor, we may have a problem,” I said.
“Shush, Newrealmer, have you no class? We are almost at the best part! I’m sure it can wait,” replied the contextually clueless lizard.
I had never wanted to throttle Illunor as much as I did now.
“Illunor, shield, now,” I said with a raised voice.
“I don’t see-“ he started, pausing mid-sentence as his ears perked up.
[Alert: Multiple manafield and spell signatures detected!]
I took evasive maneuvers as Illunor tried to piece together a shield spell, fumbling it twice as panic appeared to set in and providing me with a reminder that Illunor was a civilian, not a soldier. A hail of arrows pelted the exterior of the truck, piercing but not penetrating the composite armour. I was tempted to do nothing but just drive away from the arrow fire, but a foreboding premonition of danger filled me as I recalled Sorecar’s hunter-seeker arrows.
Seeking to avoid that fate, I triggered the active defenses.
The smoke screens deployed around the vehicle, obscuring the sight of any who depended on visible light to see me. A barrage of decoy flares equipped with wooden cores shot upward at angles and diffusing to the side like a pair of giant wings which when combined with the MFD, short for mana-field dampener, inside the vehicle meant that the pelting hail of arrowfire softened to a whirr as the arrows whiffed over the top of the truck, retargeted away from the soft flesh of my passengers and even invoking friendly fire amongst the ambushers.
In the chaos, EVI and my drone swarm fed me complete tactical information on the ambush. Of the 26 individuals at the first blockade, 20 were accounted for, and 3 had died from friendly fire. Ahead at the bridge, 5 more of them were at the bridge where a barrier had been hastily erected to cage me in as the river valley was too deep to cross.
“Illunor, we need a bridge,” I said, taking stock of the wellbeing of my passengers.
The bard was huddled down low and suppressing his manafield, but otherwise rather composed. Illunor, on the other hand, was cowering in the gap between the seats with his hands covering his eyes and his tail tucked in.
“A bridge is no small request, Ne- Cadet Emma Booker,” replied Illunor, “and your ‘Emeffdee’ has blinded me to the outside of this moving death trap.”
“If I drop it, can you at least make a ramp?” I asked as I circled the battlefield. Or tried to, at least, as earthen ramparts emerged from the ground from a yet unseen source to cut off other avenues of escape.
“A ramp? Surely you don’t mean-“ he stammered.
“Yes or no,” I said.
Illunor paused, before taking an unsteady breath.
“Yes. But not with that Emeffdee,” he replied.
“Good. Steady your nerves and prepare to make a ramp ahead of us on my signal,” I said, “in the meantime, get your seatbelt on. This is going to be hairy.”
As I circled around to make my approach on the bridge, the final combatant made his appearance on a nearby tree, revealing himself as an elven mage. An alert focused on the air around him indicating he was preparing an unknown high-tier spell, and I locked the predator drone on him indicating the elf as a high-priority target if our escape plan failed, and I was forced to use lethal force.
If I was forced to kill.
It was one thing to know you may have to kill in the line of duty, but it was much harder to reconcile that with reality. No number of simulations could match the real thing, and a part of me wanted to simply offload the responsibility to EVI to keep my hands clean, but to do that would be betraying my duty as a human being. I breathed in deep and tried not to think about it, instead hoping to rely on the ace I held in my sleeve instead.
“EVI, ready the spell jammer,” I said unevenly.
“Acknowledged, the prototype Exo-Radiation Wave-Field Distruptor is primed. High risk target identified and locked, permission to engage?” EVI asked, forcing me to address the dreaded question.
“Negative,” I replied, “hold your fire. If the ramp fails, then you have permission to engage,” I said.
“Affirmative, on your mark,” replied EVI.
I lined up the truck with the bridge and bolted through the smoke, keeping a careful eye on the mage as I went. His spellform took on a more concerning shape as I accelerated, and I realized I could not afford to let him finish his spell. I triggered the spelljammer.
A terrible roar erupted from an array of speakers printed from mana-resistant materials that would have made Godzilla herself beam with pride. The sound was decidedly unnatural, gnarly, dubstep drop composed of an electric eel, a whale, a mountain lion, and a tyrannosaurus rex all being simultaneously assaulted by a swarm of angry cybernetic murder hornets as an equally chaotic wave of mana blasted outwards from the exterior of the truck, with the interior thankfully sheltered by audio and mana dampening.
The ambushing assailants cowered and panicked, and it was enough to cause the Elven mage’s spell to backfire in his face as his form exploded into ashes, meeting a horrific fate which I had tried so desperately to help him avoid. With all the combatants momentarily incapacitated or dead, I lowered the dampener and turned off the smoke.
“Ramp!” I shouted, snapping the lizard back to reality.
The Venerian nodded and hastily formed an earthwork ahead of us right before the blockade, and the truck leapt off the ramp with a not insignificant amount of air beneath our wheels. I braced for impact, regretting skimping on the shocks in the name of preserving materials, but the impact never came.
[Alert: Friendly spell designated ‘Feather Fall’]
Illunor thankfully had enough wherewithal to gently land the steel brick, and I sped off into the distance away from the trap that had unfolded behind us, leaving the interior of the truck in an awkward silence as we each processed our brush with death in our own way. “How many are dead?” I asked EVI.
“6 hostiles confirmed dead,” replied EVI.
I drove on in silence. Those were six deaths I had tried to avoid, and I became lost in thought as I wondered what I should have done differently to avoid the confrontation entirely.
Edhel broke the silence with a bout of laughter.
“Terrific! Absolutely terrific! Why, I can conjure up many a tale from this encounter alone! I live for this kind of inspiration!” Exclaimed Edhel a little too chipperly considering the circumstance.
“I would rather not hear stories about how I bravely ran away,” I moaned in deadpan sarcasm.
“You think too little of yourself, Cadet Emma Booker. It is plain to me that you are no ordinary rabbit. Make no mistake, I see it as a privilege to bear witness to the roar of a vorpal hare!” Said Edhel as he supressed his laughter, “though I am afraid with all the excitement that I must finish my song some other time.”
“How about I play some of our music?” I offered after the elf revealed his thrill-seeking side.
“Splendid, I would like that. Perhaps something of your ‘Roadtrip playlist’ you speak of? It sounds like a collection of your voyages,” said Edhel.
“That would be an improvement on the truth,” said Illunor dismissively as he eased from his state of shock, “it is little more than noise under the pretense of music.”
“Illunor…” I muttered to myself before turning the mic on, “no, no it’s not like that. I have terabytes of pre-recorded songs from various artists back home which can be played by… an artifice called a speaker. A playlist is a set of songs which are grouped together, usually to listen to in specific situations such as studying, partying, or travelling. The latter collection is what Illunor is referring to.”
I very deliberately chose not to reveal my ‘Unfortunate Daughters’ playlist.
“An artifice which plays music, and a magicless one at that. I must say, Emma, I fear for the bards in your realm,” said Edhel with a laugh.
“Your fear is misplaced, Edhel. Entertainers live like kings where I come from,” I retorted with a smirk of my own, “well, the ones with talent at least.”
“Well, well, I suppose I have to hear my competition!” Said Edhel with a laugh.
“Do as you must, though let it be known that I warned you,” said Illunor as he watched a play on his sightseer.
I had EVI compile a list of songs that left out content offensive to Nexian sensibilities or violating OpSec and as it compiled I mused over what type of sample spread I wanted to show off. Then it struck me. What better way to show off our culture than with some good old blue jumpers and nova rock! Sadly, jumpers were unavailable to show but I still had a whole list of modern artists to choose from.
Moments later, the car speakers sprung to life to the tune of ‘Innocent Youth of Mine. Edhel’s eyes lit up like a child visiting a zero-g gravity park for the first time, seemingly star-struck by the antique electric guitar and the synthesizer-drums in particular.
“What… what is this? I have never heard anything like this!” Proclaimed Edhel.
“Dreadful, isn’t it?” said Illunor, doing what he did best and pretending to hate it.
“Oh there is a lot more where that came from,” I said with a cheeky grin of my own, “this one is called ‘Innocent Youth of Mine’ by ‘Cannons and Poppies’. It’s part of the Nova Rock genre.
“And those strange instruments?” Asked Edhel.
“Oh, you mean the electric guitar and the synthesizer. They are electronic instruments, taking advantage of channeled and modulated electricity to create near any sound we can imagine,” I replied.
“Channeled electricity… are you suggesting these sounds were made by some form of lightning?” Asked Edhel.
[Suggestion: Avoid topic of electricity due to OpSec risk]
I nodded at EVI’s warning, thankful that it caught me before I discussed the very thing that all of my equipment ran on.
“It’s not exactly lightning, but close enough,” I said.
“If I had not witnessed to your display of power earlier, I might have perhaps been more skeptical of such a claim, but I suppose a lady must keep her secrets.” said Edhel with a raised eyebrow and chuckle, “but I digress, this music is most interesting.”
“There is a lot more where that came from,” I said with a cheeky grin of my own.
“If I ever have a prisoner in need of torture, I will turn to you first,” replied Illunor, “if you are willing to subject your peers to this madness then I cannot imagine what you would force upon your enemies before dunking them in ice.”
“In your dreams,” I retorted.
I played a few other songs including Astrodesee’s ‘Meteor Struck’, the Martian classic ‘Hotel Cydonia’ and even ‘Switching to Warp’ before Elaseer emerged from the distance, and I pulled up outside the gate to drop Edhel off.
“Here already?” Asked Edhel.
“Well, yeah. I was just running a quick errand, I didn’t want to go too far,” I replied casually.
“That was a distance worth at least five days of walking by foot, and you call that a ‘quick errand’?” Asked Edhel. I shrugged, and he laughed.
“Well in any case, thank you for allowing me passage in your car. I must apologize for my lack of gift or payment…” said Edhel. “Don’t worry about it, it was on the way,” I replied.
“I see, how generous. Perhaps we might one day meet again?” Asked Edhel.
“Maybe, but I’m not sure how likely that is. The academy takes up most of my time,” I replied, “though you never know. I still have a lot of quest hours to complete.”
“Is that so? In that case, I hope we meet again! Goodbye Cadet Emma Booker and farewell Lord Illunor Rularia,” he said. “And good travels to you, bard,” said Illunor.
I waved off Edhel and drove back to the academy, Illunor still sulking in the back seat.
“Perhaps next time, you should steer us away from danger?” Suggested Illunor.
“I tried, but we were tracked,” I replied.
I groaned inwardly at the additional work needed to fix the truck. EVI compiled a list of upgrades for future engagements, batting away my idea for a ‘turbo mode’ and a ‘jump boost’. Though at the end of the day, meeting the bard wasn’t a complete loss. It felt good to talk to someone almost normal for once, and I hoped I met him again.
Edhel Redoehdelnif
I watched as Cadet Emma Booker’s vehicle went off into the distance, getting one last look at the Earthrealmer’s strange artifice before turning towards the gate. The voyage was an exotic experience, not unlike that of a fever dream or a peak into a world completely alien to my own. Indeed, it was a struggle to contain my excitement and enthusiasm and process the experience rationally as I made my way through the southern gates of Elaseer and turned the corner of an alley before entering an impossible structure that did not exist.
“You are earlier than expected,” said the shadowy figure of my handler as I made my way to the meeting hall.
“The Earthrealmer’s means of transportation proved far more expedient than anticipated, my lord” I spoke as I knelt before him, “even with her unexpected departure from the anticipated road and the ambush we traveled for scantly more than an hour.”
“Yes, I will require a full report from you. Perhaps you can shed some light on the ‘smoke dragon’ my men claim intervened on the Earthrealmer’s behalf,” said my handler.
“Smoke Dragon, my lord?” I asked.
My handler responded by activating his sight-seer, revealing how the ambush had appeared from the outside. The Earthrealmer’s uncanny artifice traversed down the road, a pair of manafields displaying proudly from within until the archers began their assault. The artifice then transformed as smoke billowed out from its pores and wings sprung forth above until it was the form of a mighty wrym with a pair of glowing eyes springing forth from its ever extending head where it then gave forth a terrible unholy roar which sent waves of mana outward. The mage working to seal the area and trap their mark vapourized in an instant as his spell backfired. It was apparent to Edhel that his exceptional experience in the carriage was merely a muted rendition of the events unfolding around them.
It would seem the hare had the shadow of a dragon.
“I do have some insight, though I must confess the Earthrealmer did very little in the way of direct action. I suspect she has some unseen means of commanding and scrying through her artifices,” I said, “one which does not utilize magic as we know it.”
“Such a statement is heresy,” said my handler, “but such special circumstances are your reason for being. I will require you submit your memories for verification. What is your appraisal of the new realmer?”
“The girl is far more dangerous than a surface appraisal would suggest, though she prefers to conceal that power rather than utilize it out of a misplaced sense of compassion. Her people appear to have a boundless creative drive through which such artifices are birthed, though again it is misdirected towards more common applications. I believe that if properly tamed, this human animal may provide us with great works of art,” I said with a bow.
“I see. Does the girl know you work for us?” Asked my handler.
“She may harbour some suspicions, though did not voice them outright beyond concealing her knowledge,” I said, “though nothing significant. Provided our next meet is under believable circumstances such as a festival she should view me as cordial.”
“She has indeed proven clever,” conceded my handler, “very well, I will make arrangements for your paths to cross again. Perhaps I will arrange for her to be a contestant at the next inter-academy tournament. In the mean time, prepare your report and don’t wander far. This is a priority assignment.”
“As you wish, my lord,” I said with a bow and a smile.
Emma Booker had proved to be an interesting animal indeed, and I hoped our paths crossed again.

I’ll try to make a longish story short.
I married young. My husband was abusive right off the bat. Not physically, but verbally and emotionally. He always had a roving eye and flirted with women right in front of me. He drank plenty and soon it turned into a raging pill addiction.
Being young and stupid I just went along with it. He even chased me out of the house with a loaded weapon once. I became scared of his constant mood swings and walked on eggshells to keep the peace. I just kind of blindly went along with everything. I was a stupid asshole with no boundaries. He bullied me and basically lived his life however he wanted and I was just frozen as a passive participant.
Time went on and I worked hard to get through school but also to help grow his business. I saved and made our money grow. In the end it made him more cocky because now with our combined effort he was the one making the money and I was the shitbag just behind the scenes with nothing to show for it.
After two decades of marriage I engaged in an affair. Like I said I’m the asshole that deserves what I get. I was so desperate for company and affection that I let someone else who didn’t care about me at all into my life. I tried to end my marriage and my husband threatened to kill himeself so I stayed.
He eventually found out about my affair and started screaming at me daily. I said again we should get a divorce but he begged me not to go and to go to counseling. He continued to berate me daily saying I decimated him. Come to find out he had been screwing multiple women and even taking them on vacations.
He had been messaging women for years but saying it was just friends. This time I had proof but he said it was all my fault and that I taught him how to be a liar and how to be deceptive.
He makes me very unhappy but still refuses to want a divorce. I have filed but it’s going nowhere. He’s also supposed to be out of the house on alternating weeks but he refuses to leave.
Last week I felt I was going to have a breakdown. I also got drunk and called my ex stupidly. Haven’t spoken in over a year because he blocked me when we were found out. Wanted to be a new man and re dedicate his life to the wife he loves. When I called him he said he didn’t even know what to say and that he made a promise to his wife. I just said ok and hung up.
I deserve to be treated like shit by everyone because I’ve acted like shit and let people lie to me about caring for me when they don’t.
I don’t see any good in the world anymore, just liars and I’m one of them.

Season 5- This may not be everybody's favorite, but it's mine! The Dark Swan arc was my favorite of the show and I would've been happy seeing Dark Emma for an entire season. It also covers a lot of the Dark One lore, which I find intruiging. I really enjoy the underworld arc as well. It's really cool seeing characters that have died appear again. Hades is a cool villain.
Season 3- This is a top notch season! The Neverland arc is great and Zelena is an interesting villian. The shift in the status quo at the beginning of 3B is cool and the time travel episodes might just be my favorites of the whole series.
Season 6- The Land of Untold Storylines was a neat storyline. I think it could’ve been explored more, but there was some good stuff there. The Evil Queen is an iconic villain of course and Mr. Hyde is great. I was disappointed when he died. The Gideon/Black Fairy storyline was alright. There were some good things there, but I don’t think it fully lived it up to the potential. The musical episode may be favorite of the series!
Season 4- I like the Frozen storyline, though it feels a bit out of place. Anna and Elsa were good and Igrid was an ok villain. The author storyline was pretty interesting and added some cool lore. The team up of Rumple, Ursula, Cruella and Malificent sounds awesome, but I feel like it didn't live up to the potential. There was some good stuff there though.
Season 2- This is another good season. Everybody has their memories back! We get introduced to great characters Hook and Neal (as an adult at least) and see the return of hate-able villain Cora. Seeing Emma in the Enchanted Forest is cool and I love seeing her interact with her newly discovered parents. The Greg and Tamara storyline is neat and leads well into the next season.
Season 1- This is a good season. The reason it’s this low is because prefer the seasons where the characters remember who they are. It sets up the universe and characters quite well!
Season 7- I like this season, but it’s definitely my least favorite. It was such a jarring change from the rest of the series and ultimately felt unnecessary. Season 6 felt like a good series finale. I like that we got to see Regina, Gold and (Alternate) Hook again as main characters, but it suffered from a lack of Emma, Snow and Charming. Andrew J. West was a good addition to the cast, but it was sometimes hard to view him as the same character that we were following for 6 seasons.

Hi everyone,
I know this is sort of old considering all the stories about this movie have come and gone. However, I’ve been reading the “Twisted Tales” books and recently got done with “Mirror, Mirror” by Jen Calonita.
Now, I’m sort of mad that, if they were going to go with a “woke” movie, they didn’t partner to make “Mirror, Mirror” instead, if they truly thought the OG was needing an upgrade.
It still focuses on the compassionate side of Snow White, but also gave her more of a personality; as well as, gave more of a backstory for her, Henri, and the evil queen.
It’s probably one of the better ones I’ve read. Though the only one so far I’ve just disliked was the one for Frozen. I’ve read Cinderella’s story, Tiana’s, Belle’s, Rapunzel’s, Mulan’s and Megara’s. I recommend those if you are interested in alternative spins to pre-existing stories content.

Freshly back and awake after a twelve day stint for my first time there. I knew that I wanted to go in general, and while I didn't have a firm itinerary planned out, there was one main goal that I had in terms of sites within the country. The main video game that I play is Beatmania IIDX, and it has internal trophies which are represented as badges. Your profile allows you to assign up to five of them as visible when you start a new round, and there are badges to earn for playing at least one round in every prefecture in Japan, as well as every subregion. Getting the Kanto badge meant that I needed to play at least one round in Tokyo, Kanagawa, Saitama, Gunma, Tochigi, Ibaraki, and Chiba. After five days, I had that complete, and now I have a permanent record of this trip within the game itself. There was also a time-limited event to earn points in IIDX in order to exchange them for goods, such as a hat, or a towel, or a new account card and a poster, and I managed to get that taken care of in somewhat dramatic fashion. I did some other things too.
Primary general points
· Getting Suica set on the phone and using it was generally painless. There were only two times where I needed to summon the help of a resident JR employee to clear up an issue with the gate not reading the card for some reason.
· Most vocal interaction which I had was the opposite of painless, because I continuously kept trying to speak Japanese and failing, and most people would realize that I was completely failing at it and responded with English (some with full on sentences, others with just a few words). There were a few rare times that I was able to express my intent in Japanese, receive a response, understand the response, and reply as necessary, but that was rare. Once English was invoked, I would stay with it, because that's what they were expecting. I've been self-studying the language for more than twenty years in varying degrees of intensity, and while my reading comprehesion seemed sufficient enough for this trip, and while I didn't expect my speaking to be as good because I don't have any opportunity to practice speaking, I came away bitterly disappointed in my vocal and speaking comprehension in terms of my interaction with people there. Even within the trip I could at least overhear common chitchat better, but any time I needed to converse with someone for some reason, I usually needed to have things repeated several times and broken down before I finally realized what was being said.
· You are going to be asked about separately buying a bag with every non-food purchase. Accept or immediately present one that you are carrying to indicate how your purchase shall be bagged.
· I never once had my passport requested for presentation.
· Only once did a person volutnarily reach out to address me, and it was just to ask me where I was from in English. Otherwise, everyone left me alone the entire time.
· Weather through the period was ideal. Mid to upper 70F/25C range and only a few days where it was rainy, and even then it wasn't a downpour. A while ago I personally resolved to only wear suits in public and I purchased a new pair of Mephisto shoes after hearing reports of the extensive walking causing problems for traveller's feet and shoes. My attire help up well; there were only a few times that I needed to avoid sunlight to not get too hot, and I have no issues to report from the shoes.
· I only got X'd out of a restaurant one time, and I think it's only because I wandered into it before it was ready for service. Otherwise, I never once waited in line for food, I never once went to restaurant more than once, and all food was acceptably priced for the portion and excellent for the quality.
For these per-day recounts, I wrote them contemporaneously at the end of each day, so you'll need to forgive me for some writing being in present tense and other writing being in past tense.
Day 1 - Travel, Sugamo, Ikebukuro
Non stop flight from Chicago OHare to Haneda. 12 hours. Good thing I usually don't watch movies, because that just means that all I needed to do was binge a few to make the trip go by.
Pre-trip research led me to choose APA Sugamo as my home base for the visit, and I think that it was a very fortuitious choice. I'll have more to say about it later.
Some awkward encounters happened right away upon checking in here. I was at the nearby Family Mart to buy some things and I didn’t catch that he was making sure I wanted a bag until he repeated it five times. Yes, I’ll take it. Before getting there I was coming down to ground level after checking into my room, and when that person saw that I would have been the only other person going down to the ground, they ducked right back out. I was warned on both of these kinds of things happening, so I guess it’s good to have that immediately out of the way. It would turn out that people deliberately avoiding me was rare throughout the trip.
Despite not sleeping on the trip, I had freshly arrived and had no sense of being tired, so once I had my stuff down, I went off to Ikebukuro right away. No picture or video truly conveys how crowded these areas can get. It can only be experienced in person to be understood.
I soon found Round One Ikebukruo and went right in. So dense and loud. It’s entirely alien to me to see no less than ten IIDX machines in operation and all of them in use. I dumped the money into random tickets, as I foresaw doing, but now I have to wonder if that was the right thing to do, or if it’s tied to that location. I guess I’ll find out.
The forecast is for rain so I need to be in a hurry to figure out where I’m going to go. There might be only one day left for me to get my time limited toys.
Day 2 - Kawasaki, Kanagawa - Utsunomiya, Tochigi - Oomiya, Saitama
My body decided that it only needed four hours of sleep this morning. Without doing more research, I somehow decided to assume that more of the Round One locations were close to 24 hours of operation much like Ikebukuro. Answer: no. I hopped on the train early and went to Shibuya first, but it was very quiet, so I decided to get some of the travels out of the way today and headed south to Kawasaki. I still needed to dawdle for a while until Silk Hat opened at 900AM, and when I finally was able to get inside, I was only able to verify that their store had several allotments of the campaign goods and all allotments were out. Played one round on a monitor that was surprisingly blurry, and I don’t know why that would be the case with a lightning model, but it was, so that was enough.
After doing all of that, I resolved to try to go to Chiba and Ibaraki afterwards. I figured that with Kanagawa and Tokyo likely all out, going to the outskirts would make more sense. However, there was an injury on one of the rails that threw everything off normal, and the train I found myself riding was bound for Utsunomiya instead. Seeing as how I was going to go there eventually, I rolled with it.
It doesn’t take too long to move away from Tokyo metropolitan area before you encounter more forest like areas and rice paddy fields. Halfway through the trip I noticed that two older women suddenly hopped off while the train was waiting to go to the next stop, and I followed them when I realized they found the express line. Utsunomiya has a substantial size to its area and buildings but it was very quiet on the streets there in midday. Walked a mile to Sega GIGO, found that they didn’t even have the goods tracker up. All out. Interesting buliding for it having several neon signs, all vintage and authentic at that. Getting to there from the south meant cutting through Saitama, so I knew I had enough time to make one last attempt there. Research shown two stores being near Oomiya station, so that’s where I ended up. Taito Station was immediately visible upon exit, and they have two IIDX machines specifically with 20 gram springs, which is closer to my home setup and that much lighter than standard 50 gram springs. The final hour drew near and I made one last visit to that city’s Round One. Unlike nearly every other place I went to so far, it only had one IIDX machine. However, and maybe because of that, their goods listing didn’t show everything as out. One painful language exchange later, I was able to discern that what I wanted was available. When you spend more than 3000 yen in a single credit, the game wants to verify if you really want to proceed. It does it again at 6000 and 9000. Yes, I really do. But, having made that money dump I was able to get my hands on the e-amuse card and poster with fifteen minutes left before the deadline. Mission complete. By this point in the day it was exceedingly difficult to even look at the screen so I was ready to come home, but not before getting some goods at the Oomiya Book Off and redeeming what I could for points at Round One Ikebukuro. By the end of the day the only thing that I could tolerate doing was to buy some chicken and nigiri from the nearby train station. Good enough. At that point in the day my body felt like it wants to rock back and forth after all the train riding done today. But, it ended up being worthwhile after all.
One nostalgic feeling I had the most strongly in the day was at the Utsunomiya location where the smell of it triggered past buried memories of yesteryear. I think I want to attribute it to the stronger second hand cigarette smell but I’m not sure - all the same I felt its presence strongly there. Also, I don’t see Oomiya (or really Saitama itself) mentioned as a fun place to go, but it might serve as an acceptable alternative to Ikebukuro, only not as massive in scale of human quantity. Depending on how the trip goes in total I may end up back there for IIDX playing, at least if I don’t find any other place that has 20G springs.
Day 3 - Akihabara
With the travels out of the way, it was time to keep things more regionalized and stick to one area, and there is shopping that needs to be done, so it was off to Akihabara and to see how much of other posted tales hold true. The answer is that it is a lot of it. Kotobukiya can stand to open sooner than noon. Super Potato is indeed priced for a market which wants to snap up anything cheap - I at least found Xi for under 500 and felt that it would have been a bit silly to buy only that, but it didn’t make spending 2000 on one single issue of Arcadia any better. I had no idea that Hey Arcade was right next to both of them; while it was assuredly nice to be there and see the row of Cave shooters among everything else, something got messed up with my registration of my new eamuse card with everything else, so that quickly added to my stress. Having to carry around a few hundred dollars worth of crap with every step didn’t help matters. At least I was able to help a person recover their lost phone by applying a bit of logic to the situation and deducing it to belong to the only person there who looked French, as it was on the Lock Screen. They were relieved, yes. Then, rain came, and it was more than I was anticipating, and I left the umbrella at the room, particularly since I knew I’d be shopping this day. It also turns out to have not mattered much, because I went to visit Bic Camera so that I could get myself a hair trimmer while here, and that turned into me finding a bunch of Kit Kats available, so that meant a second bag. The wind kicked out the rain and my umbrella. In trying to get as many gifts secured as possible, I found some gachapon, but it needed 100Y coins, and I didn’t need paper money in the trip yet. After fighting with maps, I found an ATM to get cash, and got the gachapon. I came home late with feeling rather crushed about the day in that I couldn’t take pictures very well with having to juggle weather and bagging considerations. There were some nice parts of the experience to be sure but between that and more gawking at Super Potato pricing ($135 for PS3 Caladrius? $6000 for Pulstar?) and seeing similar markups on other goods, I don’t think it’s unfair to say that there is a reputation that this area carries and the pricing is there to go with it.
Day 4 - Laundry Day. Shibuya, Harajuku, Shinjuku
I was so drained at the end of Day 3 that I fell asleep on the bed immediately after ending the night call, which meant that I woke up at 0200AM to a room that was fully lit. This meant that I needed to look up how to resolve my eamuse problem or else I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. I did both. Awake at 0800AM meant that I had time to do laundry while I figured out what to do with the rest of the day. This meant that I was able to get more of Sugamo in pictures, and it was nice to be able to walk among the actual residences, and do other things like come across a school as it was actually in session. With them being close by and all in succession, I figured to get Shibuya, Harajuku, and Shinjuku visited. It turns out to have been a good day for it, as the temperature was perfectly cool and no rain came, and the sun came out only for a little bit. Shibuya somehow doesn’t seem quite as large in scope in person but the crowds were definitely there, and it is much more hilly than I anticipated as well. After wandering around and not seeing any arcade for a bit, I came across a series of coffee and cookie shops and remained strong to not indulge. It was there while looking at a Disney store (which gets tourists to take pictures of it for some reason) that the song Alone Again came on through the nearby public speakers. What timing. It drove me to finally get a treat for myself, and the frozen latte (black sesame and houji) and croissant (dark chocolate filing) were certainly good, it ended up costing more than the dinner I’d have later this day. I found a seclusion with a garbage can to eat the food and not carry the trash around, then an arcade soon after, and it was time to determine if I could fix the problem. Just like an easy click, it was. New to trash. Old to new. Done. Why did it have to be this way. Harajuku came next, and the environment there was distinct. This one in particular felt like it was an extended carnival atmosphere with the single tight knit market street and emphasis on fashion. A conversation with a freelance artist in the subway actually went well enough that I didn’t feel dumb. The same sensation carried to Shinjuku as well, only it was more spread out. Kabuki street was interesting to see in person, and I didn’t get any unseemly vibes from the place. Maybe it’s different later at night. A return home at a reasonable time allowed me to go down Sugamo’s market street a bit; most of it was closed, but it was interesting to come across the few remaining stores that were open by 0800PM, and more so the one that wasn’t. Coming back to the hotel I found a 24 hour ramen shop with nobody inside. The chef didn’t want to speak and only pointed to the ordering kiosk when I addressed her. The food came through a slot in the obscured window. At least her thank you as I left was a bit more warm, and the food was certainly delicious. To match with the matcha dessert that I bought from Sugamo station, I swung by a 7Eleven to get a drink, and found a milk tea for cheaper than a vending machine. The overhead music in the store was an instrumental version of Alone Again.
Day 5. Ibaraki - Mount Tsukuba, Miraidaira. Kashiwa, Chiba. Akihabara 2.
Awake at 0500AM on my own and knowing the current forecast meant that my envisioned plan for the day was quickly realized. Reaching the Tsukuba Express starting point from Akihabara needs you to get very far down into the ground before getting out into sunlight. I was on the ride early enough to see schoolchildren going about their commute, some of them being no older than ten and going about it unaccompanied. The people of Tsukuba seemed to be particularly helpful and cheerful that day, even despite my Suica issues at the gate. I didn’t ask his name at the counter but the man at the service desk was eager to speak with me about my career and what I was doing there. One asked where I was from on the way up to the summit and another caught my cable car ticket on the way down. There had to have been a few of them who saw my doing this climb in my business attire and thinking me to be a complete idiot if not outright mocking them for doing it that way while they employed the use of dual walking sticks and the like. I know I read some reports of the home stretch being difficult, but it did get pretty close to being an actual rock climb instead of a trail hike for that part of it. A quick stop to Miraidaira on the way back to get the Ibaraki play. The way the town center greets you upon leaving the rail gate struck me as incredible, as well as for how quiet it was. It was like walking onto a movie set. I did find the sweet shop after the play, and that was another painful interaction yet again. Oh well. Two quick stops down Tsukuba Express and one across from Tobu Urban Park line was enough to have a toe in Chiba, and I didn’t even need to leave the physical building of the train station to get to the basement level to find a machine for a play. Thank you, Kashiwa, you were great. Gunma is all that’s left. The descent from Tsukuba did take some earnest exertion, and after doing that the two stops, that put me back in Akihabara about when I anticipated; what I failed to anticipate is how much that place seems to drain on me. I think I just need to eat at an actual dinner time. Once I got back to Sugamo and had food it was a bit better, but while in Akihabara and being around that environment, and not finding things on a shopping list, I found myself just standing still and watching life pass me by. I hemmed and hawed a while for a maid girl’s hour of service for chitchat, but eventually I talked myself out of it because I just didn’t want potential trouble, just like her name. Komaru. I thought about doing this once just to say that I did, but I ultimately decided against it. You cannot go to this place with the expectation that you will find anything unless it is advertised and new. If you are looking for anything used, don’t count on it being there. You also cannot go there without having a strong resolve to not engage with the touts, because it becomes disheartening to see them do their job and blankly stare at the world when they're forced to stand out there and do nothing. Back to Sugamo to find a place that advertised Wagyu but the price they wanted was more than I wanted to spend. The ramen and seaweed & rice servings were fine, but they advertised endless drink and I didn’t receive that. All for $20? No, son. I did better than that elsewhere, I’ll know better now. Long day.
Day 6 - Tokyo Flea Market, Nakano Broadway, Ueno.
The weather couldn’t have been better for this weekend. I’ve read reports that the flea market held near the horse race track will be arbitrarily cancelled regardless of what is reported on the website, but my gut instinct told me that it would occur today, and it did. Turns out that a flea market is a flea market which is a flea market, no matter where it happens. Same allotment of clothes and stuff that few people really want to buy, although I was able to find myself some neckties at least. I probably overpaid based on what I saw later in the route, but that’s fine. They look nice. I settled on some shot glasses for a gift as well, but I’m surprised that I can’t ind something ornate that isn’t part of a sake set. Seated in the shade with a chocolate churro while rap music played in the background - it’s like I never left home. A woman came to sit across from me for the sake of sitting down; she was from Holland and today’s her last day in the country. Her husband came with food eventually. She had three weeks here and went to several places (allegedly, she didn’t list them out) and I asked her about Nakano Broadway. She didn’t make it there. It’s a good thing that I did - this is probably the kind of environment and market that people expect of Akihabara now, and maybe that’s how Aki was years ago, but it’s different from this. What’s more interesting is that Mandarake has a larger presence here than in Akihabara (so it seems to me), and their stores had floor after floor of any and every kind of pop culture product that’s been made in the past sixty years at least. Buttress that with extensive watch and jewelry stores and a slender arcade in the basement, and it’s a very well centralized microcosm of the country’s economy on the whole. I actually made a point to have dinner earlier than usual this time and found a place to serve some deep fried pork cuts served with rice and soup on the side. It was enough, and very well made. The day had not ended and my bag was heavy with several books purchased there, so I reported back to base briefly and decided to try visiting somewhere else, and settled on Ueno. Just as I arrived, a festival was underway where local teams of people made an elaborate show of carrying a home made shrine to a temple. Streets were officially blocked by police to allow the procession. In following the line I came up against makeshift food and amusement stands with the traditional toy gun shooting and goldfish catching. It appears that this is an official “start of summer” festival and I was able to watch it all happen in front of me. That was the good part of the day.
Day 7 - Tachikawa / Kunitachi. Shinjuku 2.
One of the games that I've never played is Beatmania III The Final. I've played some BM3 7th Mix years ago, but not The Final. I found a location that has one - World Game Circus in Tachikawa. In looking around that area before the trip, I saw that there was a nearby shinkansen museum, and not much else, so I figured that going to both places would make that walk worthwhile. Turns out that it wasn’t a museum in the proper sense of a dedicated building. Rather, it was a bullet train engine car on the side of a building that was unrelated, and that was it. A cute interaction happened here - when I approached the car, I heard some children running around inside, so I approached cautiously without knowing if I was encroaching upon someone else's alloted time or something. Once the children saw me, they gave a hearty irrashaimase as I entered, and the boy stamped a paper and presented it to me. Perfect. Despite it not being a typical musem, the card did have some interesting content, and it's good to see some kind of commemoration for their achievements and progression in that industry regardless. They have a lot to be proud about there. Off to WGC. Maps wasn’t lying about the walk taking twenty minutes. It's a good thing that I looked it up on streetview beforehand, because I otherwise would have walked right past it without knowing it was there. Then there it was, and there I confronted a past that I couldn’t visit again. Sure, I got to play BM3 The Final at last, but my timing was off, my hands were off, there wasn’t much I could do. Along with that I can say that I’ve played on a Beatmania II cabinet, and that was better than 5th Style at least. But that was it, that was all I could stand to do. It was right there and I couldn’t bear to put up with it more than a few rounds at best. Dream big, because only disappointment follows if your smaller dreams ever are fulfilled. I don’t know why finding IKEA back in Shinjuku was so difficult, but it took a while. I bought a bag, and then I bought a bag because the other bag was at the end of the register, which makes sense. I did feed myself before getting back to the Taito station to play some songs, but it still wasn’t good enough. All thumbs. Ended the day with laundry since the timing worked. Speaking of making dreams big, it’s time to cross another one off the list tomorrow. I can’t wait.
Day 8 - Takasaki, Gunma. Oomiya, Saitama 2.
It’s a good thing that I only needed to get to Ikebukuro to transfer over to the next stop, because that’s where that particular run ended for some reason. I wonder what was up. Speaking of things getting messed up on trains, I managed to find my way on a train that needed a separate ticket, which I didn't have. The conductor found me right away and had me disembark at Uraja for me to wait for the proper transfer. The weather forecast said there’d be rain, and the travel forecast said it would take two hours to get there, and neither lied. I feel like I had more people staring at me in Gunma than other places. I will say that I found the Takasaki station area to be rather charming, with the stores that it had inside and the emphasis on the music culture there. It’s one thing to offer a piano to the public to play, but it’s another to have a public willing to use it. This location had both. Having what was essentially a Bic Camera built into the facility was a nice touch too. The Leisure Land arcade was sandwiched between other floors that had its own offering of gaming stuff, so that was an unexpected bit of a fun thing to look through. The area was clean and sparsely populated, and it wasn’t picked clean of all matter of things that would normally get snapped up, so that was interesting. Finally, I made it over to the machine. They had separate fans for each location. I got the songs and then the medals came, and that’s that. Kantou Seiou. I would have stayed a bit longer but I wanted to have the medals show up right away, and my internet wasn’t cooperating, so that’s all I could do. I think there was an Internet cafe that I could have used in the facility, but I didn’t want to deal with an awkward conversation. I did get some Lawson on the way out, as well as some trinkets from the local Gunma-chan store as well as some mini croissants and some macademia cookie things. More vocal awkwardness. Omiya was one of the stops on the way back, and I found a place to serve omrice, so that’s another one off the list. No shoes allowed inside. The value wasn’t there but the service was good enough, as was the flavor. The machines with the 20G springs are indeed legit. Back home in time for some McDonalds, and that’s another food-checklist item marked off. Takoyaki mayo dipping sauce - somehow it’s both salty and sweet. While returning to the hotel, I did happen to encounter an argument amongst two teenaged locals where the guy ended up half-heartedly kicking the girl and getting her to cry. I wonder what their argument was about. I didn’t play hero, but someone else did so enough to prevent an escalation and called the police over.
Day 9 - Sugamo, Tokyo Sky Tree, Akihabara 3, Kanda
Up early enough to decide that I should at least visit the Sky Tree while I'm there just to say that I did, and that I should visit the Sugamo street market upon its open since it was right there in front of me. I'm glad to have done so. With everything open, this felt more like what one would think to expect from a flea market environment that's operated and supported by the local populace. Small stores were open both sides of the street that go on for many blocks, and some tents and tables were set up to sell second hand goods as well. I was able to find someone selling a US Morgan dollar and he wanted only 2000Y for it, so that was an easy buy. If I would have known better to anticipate this area, I wouldn't have felt compelled to buy kitchy tourist crap that is expected as gifts elsewhere. If you are looking for a place to idly shop around that doesn't get extremely crowded and has an authentic local feel to it, consider making a point to come here. Off to Sky Tree. Getting the combo ticket for the second deck was worth it just for the lack of crowds on the upper area. If you're going to come here, consider getting a phone selfie stick or something of the kind so that you can take pictures against the windows without the structure scaffolding obstructing your view. On the subject of shopping again, this might be another area to consider visiting just for the sake of the specialty stores to be found here, such as those for chopsticks or hairpins. To close out the day, my wife reminded me to look for something from the Square Enix cafe, so that meant swinging by Akihabara yet again. Since it is within a walkway, it was a bit of a pain to find this place even with using maps, but I eventually found it and got what she wanted to find. Played some IIDX at Game Panic, which was surprisingly small and the one machine that was avaialble to play had some 2P turntable issues, so that didn't last all that long. Dinner was at a nearby place that specalized in tofu, so that was a good ramen serving with that infused. For the evening, I wandered south to Kanda to get night pictures, and found it to feel pretty similar to Ueno.
Day 10 - Ginza, Tokyo, Kanda & Akihabara 4
Launrdry in the morning. I also wanted to say that I went to Ginza in my time here, and I didn't research anywhere to go to keep it a surprise. It was a bit warmer and sunnier than usual that day, and I stuck to the main road for most of the walk, so I can't say that I found too many points of the interest along the path that I walked starting from Yurakucho station and heading out that way. High class store for high class people, and that's too rich for my peasant blood. Similarly for Tokyo proper itself, I suppose I'd have to needed to wander far away from the Yamanote vicinity to find points of interest there, as I didn't encounter anything that was remarkably distinctive here in comparison to other areas that I have previously seen. Continuing north across Nihonbashi brought me to Kanda and eventually to Akihabara yet again, as if it was a magnet that pulled me inside every time. For the sake of trying a different place I chose to play some IIDX at the Leisure Land arcade there, and I'm glad to have done that, as those machines were probably in the best coniditon that I encountered within that area. Dinner was at Tenkaippin, which I didn't realize until after I placed the order was cash only. The clerk didn't request it beforehand but I voluntarily left my passport there to show that I would return, and promptly went to the same ATM that I had found days prior in order to get the cash to pay for the bill.
Day 11 - Haneda T3, Nishi Nippori, Nippori, Uguisuidani, Otsuka, Shibuya, Shinjuku, Ikebukruo, home.
The end. I resolved to take the subway over to Haneda today to get the one luggage over there and stored, and it’s a good thing that I did - there’s no easy solution for getting over there without encountering a crowd. If anything I wonder if Yamanote is actually better. Regardless, I got that much done. With the day left to go, I ventured to Nishi Nippori and I needed to summon the map several times to make sure I found the location, as it was as obscure as it could get. Just a sign on the ground for the third floor, a stairway that led to the back, an elevator that had no decoration, a single room that housed everything. Arcade PCB kits on shelves, joystick panels in exposed boxes, nicotine odor from years past - it was like I was transported to 1995 upon entry, beyond the fact that the games weren’t as old. Most of them, they did have a lot going for SF3 3rd yet. I was able to take care of some game business in a hurry since I was the only one there. It was a very pleasant respite for play in comparison to most of the other sessions. The region itself felt much the same as this arcade - old and well worn, as in well lived. Venturing south to Nippori led me to stumble upon a shrine and cemetery just by following some stairs. Usuigudani was cleaner but mostly had hotels as points of interest. Back home to buy some mochi while mochi was for sale in midday. Then to Otsuka, thinking that I would wander to Ikebukuro, but I ended up wandering back to Sugamo instead. Whoops. Meal at Sugamo, then back out to return to Shibuya and Shinjuku at night to catch evening shots, when I hadn’t done so before at these places. Good thing I did that to get Golden Gai area shots at night. With the night winding down, I decided to have one last IIDX play at Round 1 in Ikebukuro to symbolically end where I started.
Ending arcade comments
· Although the upkeep is generally better and more consistent than the US, some machines will have hardware issues here too. I was surprised by the blurriness with some of the LM IIDX machines.
· Densha De Go on the propert large cabinet is nice but quickly becomes very expensive.
· Bombergirl is OK enough and having the dedicated detonator button that pops up for hitting the base is a cute touch.
· Chase Chase Jokers feels rather clunky and I'm not sure what the game is trying to do. Interesting side screen concept at least.
· Nostalgia is delightful and would probably find a small fanbase worldwide if it had more exposure.
· Favorite IIDX locations are Taito Station in Oomiya for the light keys and Leisure Land Akihabara for the high quality of the LMs there. Honorable mention goes to the Game Versus loctation in Nishi Nihonbashi, but that might not be worth it for a dedicated trip unless you go there first thing in the morning.
Ending overall comments
This was a life altering trip for me, as would be expected. While I'm glad to have made the journey, as to be expected, I will only want to return after making an extensive redoubled effort into speaking and hearing comprehension, because I know that I came across like a blubbering idiot so many times, and it's truly aggravating because I generally know what I want to say and most of the words that are used to say it, but it just doesn't come out of my mouth properly when it needs to be done.
I welcome any questions you may have, as that will help for me to recall the memories and have me write them down.

strength:

• Manhandles Jon and carries him outside
  
• Manhandles Jon and crams his entire body into a cat carrier
  
• Manhandles Jon and uses his foot to plug a leaky faucet
  
• Manhandles Jon, using him as a TV remote
  
• Ragdolls John with a single swipe
  
• Kicks Jon’s chair over, with Jon in it.
  
• Gives Jon a limp
  
• Stuffs Jon’s head in a bottle
  
• Implies he can rip off Jon’s lips.
  
• Actually does it.
  
• Shreds Jon’s chair into an unrecognizable mess
  
• Shreds a couch up until there’s nothing left but a tiny scrap of fabric.
  
• Slams a mailman around like nothing
  
• Hauls Jon up a tree at running speed
  
• Holds himself up by his teeth
  
• Lifts his body weight with his teeth
  
• Rips out a tv’s screen with his teeth
  
• Bends a mirror
  
• Drives a long nail through a door
  
• Pushes Odie all the way around a swingset
  
• Cleanly bisects a christmas tree by slamming a door
  
• Sends a snowman’s head flying with a baseball bat
  
• Breaks a table in two with a stomp
  
• Stomps Odie flat
  
• Stomps through the floorboards
  
• Flings an apple hard enough to knock Odie flying
  
• Knocks Jon over with a snowball
  
• Bashes down a door
  
• Punches down a door
  
• Accidently pushes a door off its hinges
  
• Knocks a down a door by tackling Jon into it
  
• Pushes a door off its hinges and walks with its weight on his back into his house
  
• Busts a hole in the door
  
• Again
  
• Smashes a cat door off its hinges with a single push
  
• Smashes a door in half with Odie
  
• Working with Odie, busts down a door using Jon’s chair as a battering ram.
  
• Sends a fence gate flying off its hinges by smashing into it
  
• Smashes his head through a table
  
• Catches up to a car and rips its fender off
  
• Catches up to a car and rips an entire axle off
  
• Rips a fender off a car and a mailbox out of the ground
  
• Sends Jon flying with a kick
  
• Hurls an adult woman out of his house
  
• Drags a woman back to Jon
  
• Drags a mailman to Jon as a gift
  
• Drags and carries Jon outside
  
• Walks with the weight of Jon and a chair on his back
  
• Rips the cap off a fire hydrant
  
• Launches Odie into the horizon
  
• Punches another cat so hard they go flying
  
• Launches another cat into the horizon
  
• Launches Odie above the panel
  
• Kicks Odie to the ceiling
  
• Kicks Odie from one room into the other
  
• Punts Odie into the distance
  
• Launches Odie above the panel. Claims to have sent him to the moon.
  
• Kicks Odie so hard, he spins fast enough to hover in the air
  
• Kicks Odie so high in the air, it takes a significant amount of time for him to fall back down
  
• Smacks Odie with a signpost hard enough to send him flying far into the distance.
  
• Smacks Nermal high into the sky
  
• Sends Nermal flying with a flick
  
• Sends Nermal through a door
  
• Again
  
• And again
  
• Sends Nermal flying through a wall
  
• Smashes an enormous spider with a rolled up newspaper
  
• Lifts a table full of food
  
• Juggles a sofa
  
• Hurls a tv
  
• Holds up a tv
  
• Nails a tv to the ceiling
  
• Lifts a refrigerator
  
• Lifts a refrigerator and a giant magnet
  
• Pushes a refrigerator
  
• Rips a refrigerator door off its hinges offscreen
  
• Moves Jon’s above ground pool inside to disguise it as a food dish
  
• Dumps a large piano onto a scale
  
• Holds up a large safe on a pulley
  
• Reels a stone birdbath into his mouth
  
• Carries an entire tree into his house
  
• Holds up a giant coffee cup
  
• Holds up a giant donut with one hand
  
• Holds a giant burger
  
• Punts Odie into the distance
  
• And again
  
• Together with Odie, smashes through a wall
  
• Pulls down a chunk of wall
  
• Smashes into a wall with enough force to crack it
  
• Again
  
• Pushes his way out from inside the walls
  
• Jumps through the ceiling
  
• None of Odie's attempts to move him makes him budge
  
• Jon can’t pull him an inch on a leash
  
• Smashes an alarm clock
  
• Smashes a phone
  
• Mangles a scale
  
• With a swipe of his claws, knocks two bricks out of a fireplace
  
• Rips the concrete basin off a birdbath and carries it away
  
• Karate chops a table leg in two
  
• Either carries or creates a giant snowball on the roof of the house and pushes it onto Jon
  
• Throws a massive snowball high into the air to land on Jon.
  
• Pushes Jon’s bed out the window
  
• Rips a fire hydrant out of the ground
  
• Bends a traffic sign by accidentally running into it
  
• Carries a Christmas tree in his teeth
  
• Catches a shark and carries it to shore
  
• Using all of the snow in his yard, builds an enormous snowman that dwarfs his house.
  
• Smashes an ice cream truck, causing its roof to cave in
  
• Slams a window so hard the entire house collapses
  
• Lifts up his house using a jack
  
• Lifts a Christmas tree and shakes all its needles off
  
• Lifts a pile of food larger than himself
  
• Pulls a fish’s skeleton out of its body
  
• Rips a dial off a tv and sends it through a window
  
• Throws Odie
  
• Smacks a clown through a circus tent
  
• Walks with a pile of mud 2/3rds as tall as Jon stuck to his feet
  
• His tongue punches a hole through his bowl and the table it’s on
  
• Blows a spider out of a rolled up newspaper with enough force to stretch a screen window as far as the door it’s attached to is tall.
  
• Inflates a balloon so large it expands beyond the confines of the house he's in and lifts it off the ground
  
• Sucks an entire roast chicken through a straw
  
• Similar feat
  
• The coffee he drinks seems to grant improved strength, allowing an ordinary fly to carry Jon through the air at full speed
  

Durability:

• No-sells a potted plant to the head
  
• Tanks a watermelon to the head
  
• Takes multiple shoes to the head in succession
  
• Is hit in the head by a thrown spotlight
  
• Takes a hit from a guided newspaper launcher
  
• Gets mauled by a puma
  
• Is thrown against a wall by a buff mailman
  
• Gets smacked flying off-panel by a dog
  
• No-sells a kick from Odie
  
• Survives being accidentally set on fire while soaked with alcohol
  
• Falls onto a lit grill
  
• Ignores his blanket being on fire while wrapped in it
  
• Is inside a fondue pot as it boils
  
• Survives a heat wave so bad it melts a radio into liquid
  
• Eats lit candles
  
• Sticks his tongue in a waffle iron
  
• Implied to regularly drink and enjoy coffee so strong a few drops of it melts through a table and bends spoons.
  
• His face gets frozen into a birdbath
  
• Has his lips ripped from his face by the g-force of sledding down a hill
  
• [Has a concentrated beam of sunlight shine directly into his eye]
  
• [Gets shocked by Jon’s electrified cookie jar]
  
• [Gets struck by lightning]
  
• [Survives being trapped inside a washing machine as it runs]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Is stuck by every single quill from a porcupine]
  
• [Is eaten by a snake]
  
• [Is run over by a lawnmower]
  
• [Has his tail stuck in a pencil sharpener]
  
• [Is flung through through a window]
  
• [Has a door slammed on him hard enough to crack a wall]
  
• [Is flattened by Jon slamming a door]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Is squashed flat as a pancake by a larger cat]
  
• [Gets brutalized by a whole gang of street dogs at once and enjoys it]
  
• [Survives a fall so hard he leaves a deep hole in the ground]
  
• [Again]
  
• [And Again]
  
• [Has a fridge fall on him]
  
• [Has a piano fall on his head]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Is crushed under a chunk of crumbling wall]
  
• [Is crushed under a larger chunk of wall]
  
• [Is crushed under a huge section of wall]
  
• [Has a slab of concrete fall on his head]
  
• [Has a giant can of cola fall on him]
  
• [Has a tree fall on him]
  
• [Has a large pile of sand dropped on him
  
• [Has a large stone wheel hurled at him]
  
• [Is hit by a wrecking ball]
  
• [Falls from the roof of his house onto concrete]
  
• [Falls down a chimney]
  
• [Falls down a manhole]
  
• [Falls down a sinkhole]
  
• [Has his head rammed through the ceiling]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Steps out of a car going over 50mph]
  
• [Is bounced back by a screen door hard enough to crack a wall and topple furniture]
  
• [Gets smashed through a wall]
  
• [Is used as a battering ram to bust through a wall]
  
• [Falls from a great height out of a bird’s grip 1, 2
  
• [Has a land mine explode in his face]
  
• [Implied to have been hit by a truck]
  
• [Is hit by a car]
  
• [Has a house collapse on him]
  
• [Survives without his stomach after it temporarily leaves his body]
  
• [Has the endurance to hang from a treebranch for an entire week]
  
• [Stays in the same spot long enough for the moon to wax from crescent to full waiting for a flower to grow.]
  

Speed/Agility:

• [Eats an immense amount of food in a single panel. Doubles as a durability feat for his stomach, as Jon states that that much food should cause him to burst if he tries to eat it all]
  
• [Eats all the food in a refrigerator in a very short time]
  
• [Eats a million meals in the same day by noon. This is even more impressive, as Garfield is famously averse to waking up early and fond of sleeping in, meaning it’s likely he didn’t have much time after waking up to eat a million meals before 12:00. For a little more context, Jon states that Garfield sleeps an average of 18 hours a day.
  
• [While on a short walk, eats so many canaries he causes a city-wide shortage]
  
• [With Odie, completely wrecks Jon’s living room in a single second]
  
• [Leaves with all the furniture in a room after Jon leaves it briefly before he can return]
  
• [Outruns a charging bull]
  
• [Dodges out of the way of speeding cars]
  
• [Leaps out of the path of a speeding truck]
  
• [Keeps pace with a speeding car]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Keeps pace with an ice cream truck]
  
• [Claims to be “faster than a speeding delivery truck”]
  
• [Outruns rolling donuts, reaching the floor before they can fall off a table. ]
  
• [Outruns the world’s largest ball of twine as it rolls down a hill after him]
  
• [Outruns a rolling snowball]
  
• [Runs up the wall and across the ceiling to the other side of the room in only a few panels]
  
• [Dodges a thrown shoe]
  
• [Dodges a thrown pair of binoculars]
  
• [Dodges a thrown pie with enough force behind it to knock the moon out of the sky]
  
• [Catches a thrown potted plant]
  
• [Eats his birthday cake out from under its candles, leaving them briefly suspended in the air]
  
• [Catches on to Odie’s tongue as he runs by]
  
• [Leaps to catch a piece of toast mid-air the second it pops up]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Eats several apples out of the air as Jon is juggling them]
  
• [Eats a butterfly out of the air mid-flight]
  
• [Snatches a fly out of the air]
  
• [Leaps to snatch a donut out of Jon’s hands before he can take a bite]
  
• [Rapidly decorates a tree in what Jon estimates to be a world record]
  
• [Catches up to a car and rips its fender off]
  
• [Catches up to a car and rips an entire axle off]
  
• [Demonstrates shocking agility chasing after a thrown mouse]
  
• [Does a flip]
  
• [Flips in midair to land on his feet at the last second]
  
• [Leaps from the floor to the ceiling off-panel]
  
• [Leaps from a table to the ceiling]
  
• [Walks on his front paws]
  
• [Balances a potted plant on his head while rolling atop a ball]
  
• [Swims rapidly into the sunset]
  
• [Spins his leg around so fast he takes flight like a helicopter]
  
• [While trying to escape a sweater, spins fast enough he becomes a small tornado]
  
• [Moves as a blur for a quick costume change]
  
• [After eating caffeinated sweets, he becomes a blur, bouncing off the walls and ceiling.]
  
• [Moves so fast, he seems to vanish panel-to-panel. Gets to his food dish and cleans it out before Jon can finish saying his name]
  
• [Moves so fast, his slipstream shreds Jon’s clothes]
  
• [Zooms in from a long distance away before Odie can take a bite of his food]
  
• [Catches a sandwich before it can hit the floor]
  
• [Zooms out of bed, eats dinner, and returns before his blanket has time to fall to the ground]
  
• [Spots a snowflake, and runs back inside, dragging Jon out to see it before it touches the ground.]
  
• [Moves to his bed before a lightbulb can go out]
  
• [Moves faster than the speed of sound]
  
• [Regularly keeps up with the mice in his house, who are implied to be FTE (except for the fat ones).]
  
• [Moves FTE]
  
• [Moves FTE, eating all the food out of his food bowl in the time it takes Jon to blink]
  
• [Eats a goldfish FTE in the space it takes the reader to blink]
  
• [Somehow loops back around after leaving the panel while Jon is still watching him]
  
• [Lets go of a tree branch to rub his arms, then grabs back on before he has time to fall]
  
• [Changes channels on a tv so fast it explodes and the remote starts to smoke]
  

Misc:

• [Eats an entire lasagna, pan and all]
  
• [Eats 219 lbs of lasagna]
  
• [Eats so many calories in one sitting, Jon’s calculator violently malfunctions from processing such a large number]
  
• [While on a walk, eats so many canaries he causes a city-wide shortage]
  
• [Eats an entire bowl of food, bowl included]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Eats the pants off of Jon]
  
• [Eats a tv remote]
  
• [Eats a bag of tools Jon bought from the hardware store, then spits one back up]
  
• [Eats a brick]
  
• [Casually eats a coffee cup]
  
• [Eats a poison frog]
  
• [Ate a poison toad]
  
• [Fits an entire cake in his mouth]
  
• [Again]
  
• [And Again]
  
• [He just keeps going at it]
  
• [Fits 200 french fries in his mouth]
  
• [Fits an entire glass fishbowl in his mouth]
  
• [Implied to have eaten an entire cow]
  
• [Eats a large fish-shaped sign]
  
• [Eats a giant burger larger than himself]
  
• [Eats a puffer fish, and has it expand to fifty times its size inside him]
  
• [Burps for 43 seconds straight]
  
• [Burps hard enough to send Jon and Odie flying, blow a door off its hinges, and peel away sections of sidewalk.]
  
• [Breathes fire after eating a peruvian death pepper]
  
• [Sneezes the petals off a large group of flowers]
  
• [With a single sneeze, he blows away Jon, Odie, and a whole room’s worth of furniture]
  
• [Sneezes hard enough to propel himself partially through a wall, widening an existing mousehole]
  
• [Can walk on ceilings]
  
• [Again]
  
• [And again]
  
• [His weight crushes a scale]
  
• [Even Santa Claus thinks he’s fat]
  
• [His weight bends a long wooden table]
  
• [His weight tips over Jon’s bed]
  
• [Again]
  
• [His weight bends metal playground equipment]
  
• [His weight causes a section of floor to collapse]
  
• [His weight topples a tree when he tries to climb it]
  
• [His weight causes ripples in a hardwood floor]
  
• [He is so heavy that he causes Jon’s chair to bounce into the air just by running nearby]
  
• [He’s heavy enough to pound a very deep, very wide hole into the ground just by cannonballing into a pool]
  
• [His weight warps the very medium of his existence, causing a panel he’s in to bend]
  
• [Wins a cat show]
  
• [Nobody can kill him without an appointment]
  
• [Apparently, he’s already dead]
  
• [With a single swipe, perfectly slices a loaf of bread]
  
• [Swats three spiders at once]
  
• [Scares off a dog larger than he is]
  
• [Can intimidate machinery into fixing itself]
  
• [Intimidates light itself to move]
  
• [Intimidates a balloon into staying afloat]
  
• [He commands snow to stop falling. With a glare, he even sends an errant flake back into the sky.]
  
• [Is completely unafraid of monsters]
  
• [Kills a flower with a single word[
  
• [His breath melts a vase and a picture frame]
  
• [His breath melts a metal fork and a glass cup]
  
• [His breath melts his own teeth]
  
• [His breath instantly knocks out Jon]
  
• [Nails Jon right under the nose with a party horn]
  
• [Lands several thrown donuts on Jon’s novelty moustache]
  
• [Hits Jon right between the eyes with a toy bow & arrow]
  
• [Plays at skeet shooting pieces of toast as they pop out of a toaster, and doesn’t miss a single one (we don’t see any arrows on the ground that haven’t impaled toast)
  
• [Nails Jon in the head with a rock]
  
• [Nails a mouse with a snowball]
  
• [Rapidly nails Jon and Odie with snowballs]
  
• [Uses a birdbath to hit Jon with a perfectly ricocheted snowball]
  
• [Can rapidly spit tennis balls like an automatic launcher]
  
• [Is an expert fisherman---without even using a pole!]
  
• [Pretty good at throwing his voice]
  
• [Steals Jon’s credit cards and uses them to buy himself a designer Italian suit]
  
• [Pickpockets an old man without him noticing]
  
• [Manages to sneak inside his own birthday cake without Jon or Odie seeing him]
  
• [Is aware he’s in a comic strip]
  
• [Addresses his reader directly]
  
• [Knows he’s printed on paper]
  
• [Is aware what angle he is being drawn from]
  
• [Pops his own snooze bubble]
  
• [Rotates his own snooze bubble]
  
• [Uses his knowledge of the fourth wall to steal a snooze bubble from Jon, depriving him of sleep]
  
• [Smacks Jon in the face with his snooze bubble]
  
• [Throws his own snooze bubble at Jon as a weapon]
  
• [Can play a piano from inside of it]
  
• [Can play guitar]
  
• [Makes a sandwich so large it stretches from his house across the street]
  
• [Can precisely identify the dish a stain came from by taste]
  
• [Knows what old hyena tastes like]
  
• [Hears Jon whispering from across the house]
  
• [While asleep, hears a pizza delivery happening three blocks away and is able to tell what toppings are on it.]
  
• [Can “hear ice cream”]
  
• [Implied to also be able to hear donuts.]
  
• [Chases an invisible mouse]
  
• [Steals a security camera out from under Jon’s nose, then pawns it without him noticing until later]
  
• [Plans out an exact chain reaction triggered by John slamming a door]
  
• [Perfectly measures out a hole to cut in the floor for Jon]
  
• [Double-Bamboozles Jon]
  
• [Melts his rubber mouse down and makes earplugs out of it]
  
• [Builds a revolving glass door into a refrigerator]
  
• [Rebuilds the front door so that it opens like a pet door and vice versa.]
  
• [Builds a trap door into a table for spiders]
  
• [Uses parts from an automatic dog door Jon bought to create a remote activated trap door for Odie]
  
• [Disables Jon’s brakes]
  
• [Reprogramme’s a scale with a complex AI. ]
  
• [Creates an elaborate blueprint for his birthday cake, including electrical wiring schematics ]
  
• [Builds a remote activated trap for birds “disguised” as a birdbath]
  
• [Creates an elaborate trap for a dog]
  
• [Sets a working trap for Santa Claus]
  
• [Sets traps for mailmen]
  
• [Sets up snowball lobbing booby traps all over the yard]
  
• [Robs a bank. Claims it was an accident.]
  
• [Steals milk from babies]
  
• [Turns Jon into a tourist attraction, and gets on the news]
  
• [Has a secret plan to lead cats to world domination]
  
• [Counts all the bricks in a silo]
  
• [Knows the exact moment when Jon will wake up every morning]
  
• [Pulls all the fabric off a chair, then knits it perfectly back into shape]
  
• [Using only his claws, carves a sofa into a statue of himself]
  
• [Elongates his body]
  
• [Has his body squeezed and elongated by a corset]
  
• [Has his neck stretched thin by a tight turtleneck]
  
• [Has his body stretched thin and compressed by a shrinking sweater]
  
• [Squashes himself flat with a recliner]
  
• [Able to have his body freely stretched]
  
• [Temporarily alters his body to appear extremely muscular]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Rapidly accumulates muscle mass in his arms simply by eating]
  
• [Has his face squashed into a square shape from sleeping in a corner]
  
• [After colliding with Odie, both have their front halves flattened]
  
• [Can tuck his head into his body like a turtle]
  
• [Can transfer his mass from his torso to his tail]
  
• [Gets squashed into a space between fence posts]
  
• [Squeezes into a vase far smaller than him]
  
• [Again]
  
• [Squeezes his entire body into a coffee cup]
  
• [He and Jon’s heads are shoved into the same bottle]
  
• [Hides his entire body flat under his cat bed]
  
• [Hides his entire body behind a thin lamp]
  
• [Stretches his arm to fit around a refrigerator]
  
• [Stretches his lips far from his face]
  
• [Extends his jaw]
  
• [Transforms into a monster on Halloween]
  
• [Is able to breathe while submerged in food]
  
• [Has his face turned upside down]
  
• [Has his face pucker inwards, folding in on itself]
  
• [Has opposable thumbs]
  
• [Sheds. A lot. Completely blankets John and a table with shed hair.]
  
• [His stomach can separate from the rest of his body, acting independently]
  
• [By viewing the world upside down, he alters the direction of gravity]
  
• [Able to move in slow motion at will, reducing his falls to a snail’s pace]
  
• [Warps reality by tilting a painting]
  
• [Sends Odie through time into the future with a kick]
  
• [Wills himself from an alternate time back to his own]
  
• [Can apparently travel freely between comic strips. Also more fourth wall awareness.]
  
• [Just.. completely breaks physics]
  
• [Seems to be able to make wishes and have them granted, albeit in a way he doesn’t always like]
  
• [Makes a birthday with for his cake to be bigger and has it come true]
  
• [Manifests objects from his dreams in real life]
  
• [Seems to be able to physically manifest and interact with figments of his psyche. Eats donuts representing his conscience, leaving behind crumbs that indicate they’re in some way real. ]
  
• [Can infiltrate other people’s daydreams and interact with them]
  
• [Breaks a mirror with his looks]
  
• [Sings a note high enough to “shatter paper”]
  
• [Flicks off Odie’s nose]
  
• [Swaps noses with Odie, forcing him to suffer a sneeze]
  
• [Adjusts a dog’s nose like a dial to force it to bark more quietly]
  
• [Seemingly teleports Odie’s head from a top hat into his food dish]
  
• [Moves a mousehole while it’s still in the wall]
  
• [Has a flamethrower]
  
• [Has a chainsaw]
  
• [Has a dart gun]
  
• [Has a giant slingshot]
  
• [Has a “mouse call”]
  

Things I really like but also hate

• [King Kong canonically exists in Garfield’s world]
  
• [So do monsters]
  
• [And aliens]
  

LOOOONG first time trip report! 5/13-5/18, stayed at Beach Club, visited all four parks, bought Genie+ every day, had the standard DDP. Family of 4, two girls 5 and 9. I learned so much from this group over the past year and especially loved trip reports, so hopefully this post will be helpful to someone!
💲BUDGET💲
-- I booked the trip a year out so I could break it up into 12 manageable payments. I opened the no fee Disney VISA, which gives you several months of no interest on charges made towards Disney travel packages, rewards dollars to use at Disney, and a couple other perks like character meet and greets and discounts.
-- I signed up for Disney Movie Insiders. This is what you're supposed to do with all those little codes that come in Disney DVDs/Blurays. You enter the codes in exchange for points, and at 1000 points, you can redeem for a $10 Disney gift card. You also get points for being subscribed to Disney+, seeing Disney movies in the theater, their social media accounts, and a whole bunch of other things. I got $50 in gift cards from this alone.
-- If you want Disney-themed luggage, try thinking outside the box to save money! I got plain luggage in Mickey colors--red and black--and Mickey luggage tags to make them Disney themed.
-- I tried to budget for souvenirs via gift cards... but I failed, lol. Everything is so expensive, $100 is gone in a second. Plushes are like $40, coffee cups are $20, etc. Whatever you're planning to spend, double it! I get what people say about most shops having the same stuff, but it's definitely not all of them, most of the ones post-ride have unique stuff. And honestly it's kind of nice most of them have the same stuff, if you want to get whatever your kid was asking for earlier, you don't have to walk all the way back to the one shop you saw it at.
-- We paid for Memory Maker and I'm on the fence about it. On the one hand, it's really nice to get all the ride photos and meet and greet photos and magic shots. It's also really nice for the whole family to be in a lot of pictures and not have to swap with the other adult or find someone willing to take your picture. On the other, we definitely didn't utilize it as much as I wanted to because a lot of the photographers had pretty long lines and I just didn't want to spend time waiting for a picture I could take myself. If we came across someone with a shortish or no line, we made sure to get it, but for anyone with a long line, we just stood around the same spot and took our own.
🗓️PLANNING🗓️
-- If you have kids and live within easy driving distance of another amusement park, highly recommend making a visit BEFORE going to Disney to get an idea of how they handle that kind of day/environment, especially if they have never been. I quickly discovered we would absolutely need a stroller and I would need to be militant with the kids about staying hydrated. Also to avoid face paint, as heat + tears + paint + eyes = bad day! I felt so much better making these discoveries beforehand and being able to prepare accordingly, rather than making them at Disney.
-- USE AN AGENT! An agent is free to you, so why not have the help? Ours was amazing, she gave us quotes, booked the package, rebooked as needed later when a better deal came out, made all the payments, dining and extra reservations, and was just all-around awesome to work with. It was such a load off to know I wasn't on my own with all this stuff.
-- Watch everything Ear Scouts. No one explains Genie+ better, and Rob and Erick's videos are just so positive and beautiful and well done.
-- I also enjoyed reading Disney Tourist Blog--lovingly snarky but super informative!--and Disney Food Blog for fun tips and news.
-- I didn't find any park to be a half day park, we filled our whole day in every one and still didn't see everything!
-- My kids did really well, whenever they were on the verge of cranky, we had one ride in the stroller for a while, bought a snack (usually ice cream or popcorn), and used the bubble wand, and/or gave them some ibuprofen, and everyone felt better pretty quick. We never tried to do fireworks, we were all done by 8 so always left after dinner. The only park we closed down was EPCOT because we didn't get out of dinner until after close, and that was a really cool experience, the park was so quiet and empty and beautiful!
-- You don't NEED a Magic Band... but man, was it convenient. We just had 1.0 Magic Bands though, we didn't bother with the 2.0s.
-- I guess moving through security fast is important to people rope dropping... but as someone who didn't, it added like maybe 30 seconds to a minute to the experience the couple times my bag got flagged, it's really not a big deal.
-- I'm not saying anyone's lying about bad experiences or exaggerating or anything, but try to remember that far more people go on the Internet to complain than they do to praise. I got so stressed about all the things that could go wrong, and we had a pretty much perfect trip. The only attraction that broke down on us was Muppetvision, of all things. The only "bad behavior" we witnessed was the morning we were leaving, we could hear a dad across the hall yelling at his family, I think they overslept and were going to miss their flight or something? We just turned the TV on so we didn't have to hear him. A couple times we forgot to take our stuff with us when we parked our stroller or forgot some food in it, and neither people nor animals bothered it. The only dicey thing that happened to us was me dropping my phone into the Dumbo moat, the cast members fished it out and it still worked, I sent them a cast compliment for all their help! All the cast members were great, I'm not really sure what people expect but IMO they all do amazing for having to be peppy and helpful all day in absolutely blazing heat, walking a ride conveyer belt nonstop, repeating the same spiels over and over, meeting person after person, etc. I wouldn't last a 2 hour shift let alone 8. Cast members, you rock!!!
✈️TRAVEL✈️
-- We flew Delta, flight there was flawless, flight home was delayed by an hour waiting for crew and was a little bumpy (which is not great for a nervous flyer like me) but otherwise fine.
-- Get TSA PreCheck! Good for a few years, if the adults have it the kids have it too. It made the whole experience so much easier. That said, even PreCheck still moves kind of slow at MCO, so definitely get there at least 2 hours early for your flight. Use curbside check-in for bags, way faster than the long line inside!
-- On our agent's recommendation, we used Away We Go for ground transport in Orlando. They communicate really well, both ways were flawless, no complaints!
-- We used Minnie Vans to get to Animal Kingdom + Sanaa and Magic Kingdom, what a wonderful service! Definitely pricey, but they had cartoons on in the car, booster seats they set up for you, and the drivers were so nice and friendly and had fun trivia to share. I never had any problem requesting one when I needed it.
⛱️BEACH CLUB⛱️
-- We knew we wanted an onsite hotel where you could walk to at least one park. This pretty much limits you to a handful of Deluxe hotels or the Swan and Dolphin. Beach Club won for us because it's "in the Disney bubble" and you can walk to 2/4 parks. Note that while you can technically walk to Hollywood Studios, it is a LOOOONG walk. The boat is a nice not crowded alternative! We did not make use of Early Entry or Extended Hours, we're just not built for either. Beach Club was lovely, we booked a resort view but I think we ended up with a water view, we were right by the quiet pool and could see the water beyond from our room. Stormalong Bay was a little crazy for us but we loved the quiet pool. Best thing about Beach Club though is the location, EPCOT is literally steps away!
🌳ANIMAL KINGDOM🌳
-- We had read that there's really no bad day to do AK, so we started there. We rode: Navi River Journey, Flight of Passage, Kali River Rapids, Everest, Kilimanjaro Safaris, Triceratops Spin, and Dinosaur--so pretty much everything! With Genie+ we walked onto all of them. We also met Moana, Pocahontas, and Russell! The only thing we didn't do here that we wanted to was the Gorilla Falls trail, but we just ran out of time before the park closed.
🌐EPCOT🌐
-- We had read to avoid EPCOT on Fridays and Saturdays, so we went on Wednesday. We rode: Grand Fiesta Tour, Living with the Land, Nemo, Spaceship Earth, Imagination with Figment, Frozen, Remy, Journey of Water, and Guardians--everything we wanted! Again, with Genie+, we walked right onto everything! Outside of our character meal (more on that in the dining section!), we also met Anna, Elsa, and Asha! Tried a couple of Flower and Garden snacks: chicken and waffles, fruit and cheese strudel, and potato pancakes, all were delicious! Everyone had a different favorite day, but EPCOT was personally my favorite day, it felt like we were firing on all cylinders and the day just went really smoothly!
🏰MAGIC KINGDOM🏰
-- We had read that Wednesdays were the quietest days at MK, so we were originally going to try to do it that day, but we could only get a reservation for Cinderella's Royal Table on Thursday, so we switched it up. Definitely the most crowded of all the parks we visited, but I think that's just the norm for MK, everyone wants to go to the castle park with the most rides. We rode: Regal Carousel, Tomorrowland Speedway, Barnstormer, Magic Carpets, Mad Tea Party, People Mover, Dumbo, Small World, Little Mermaid, Pirates, Space Ranger Spin, Jungle Cruise, TRON, and Peter Pan. Again, with Genie+, we walked right onto everything! The only ride we missed at this park that we wanted to do was Pooh, I couldn't manage to get a return time that was earlier than we planned on leaving. Outside of our character meals (more on those in the dining section!) we also met Mirabel, Tiana, and Rapunzel! We had both the Rapunzel and Aurora ice creams, both so good and cute!
🎬HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS🎬
-- We had read that, like MK, it's better to do HS later in the week, so we went Friday. We rode: Slinky, Alien Saucers, Toy Story Mania, Rise, Smuggler's Run, Runaway Railway. Again, with Genie+, we walked right onto everything! The only ride we missed was Tower of Terror, again I couldn't manage to get a return time that was earlier than we planned on leaving. We also met Olaf, be aware Olaf doesn't sign stuff, they just give you a signature card. This park needs more shade IMO, especially Toy Story Land, I know it's supposed to be Andy's backyard, but I don't see why that means we can't have some shade from trees or something. 🤪 Blue milk from Galaxy's Edge was really good, the family was all fighting over it!
🍽️DINING🍽️
-- We almost certainly lost some money on the DDP, but I'm still glad we got it because it allowed us to do more table service meals and have less stress overall about expenses. We easily used up everything but child quick service credits, we had a few of those left over near the end.
Here's where we ate!
BOARDWALK DELI/PIZZA WINDOW: Pizza for the kids, sandwiches for the adults. Tasty and satisfying after our day of travel!
BEACHES AND CREAM: Got the kitchen sink for the experience, but honestly it's not great, all the ice cream and toppings melt together quick and you just end up with weird ice cream soup.
SAT'ULI CANTEEN: LOVED this place, everything was so yummy! Best quick service we had!
SANAA: Since Animal Kingdom closes so early, we thought we'd try to extend the experience by eating at Sanaa. What a great idea, we got seated right by a window and saw so many animals! The food was great too.
AKERSHUS: Our favorite princess meal! We met Aurora, Tiana, Snow White, Ariel, and Belle. They were all lovely, and the breakfast was really good too. Only 1 credit on the DDP!
GARDEN GRILL: Our kids really enjoyed getting to look down over Living with the Land and the fact that the restaurant spins. We met Farmer Mickey, Pluto, and Chip and Dale. They were fun and even came to our table more than once. Food was good!
SPACE 220: Not on the DDP, but wow, what a cool restaurant! Almost like a ride with the theming and the elevator up. Food was really good.
CINDERELLA'S ROYAL TABLE: You gotta eat in the castle! We paid for it OOP because we didn't want to use up 2 DDP credits here. You're really going for the location and the princesses, the food is kinda meh, not bad but not as good as other places. The restaurant is small and they have to turn tables quick, so it's very understandable to me that the princesses have to move fast. It's not that they rush you, they'll take all the pictures you ask for and sign whatever and answer your questions, but if you don't have much you need, they try to keep moving. Akershus is much bigger so they are able to be more relaxed there. The only small bummer is that we didn't see Merida (maybe she was on vacation too!) We did meet Cinderella, Ariel, Jasmine, and Aurora though!
CRYSTAL PALACE: We are not big on buffets but we enjoyed meeting Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore and Tigger!
TOPOLINO'S: Maybe the best food of the trip, steak and eggs were so good! The character artist costumes are so cute too. It was fun to have an excuse to ride the Skyliner to get here from Beach Club too.
DOCKING BAY 7: The theming is great, but the food wasn't as good as Satuli Canteen IMO.
THE MARKET AT ALE & COMPASS: We had quick service credits we wanted to use up on the last day and we didn't want to leave the resort again, otherwise I would have gone somewhere else, food was meh.
✨EXTRAS✨
-- I originally wanted to book Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique for my kids, but it's so expensive/competitive that I decided I didn't want the stress. Instead I booked Have Wand, Will Travel to come to our room and bought dresses from Presley Couture and Only Little Once. I chose Have Wand, Will Travel because they keep character throughout. Fairy Godmother Elyse was amazing and so much fun, my kids loved it and kept talking about it all day!
-- That same morning I ordered a Sammicakes breakfast box with beignets for us to eat. I also ordered a pretend letter from The DCP and Me on Etsy to make it seem like the breakfast came from Tiana. My kids also loved this and had fun telling Tiana about it both times we met her. Sammicakes was good but a LOT of food, sadly we didn't end up eating half of it. It can last you at least 3 days!
-- We had Birthdays and More decorate our door, it was a really fun surprise for the kids on our first day and made our room easy to find. The kids also loved reusing the decorations at home on their own doors!
-- Matching shirts and ear hats, all from Etsy! So many cool designs there, hardest part is choosing!
-- Got my kids a pin trading lanyard with some pins, they loooooved pin trading! It was like free souvenirs.
🧳PACKING🧳
-- Things the Internet Told Me to Pack That I Needed: Scissors, ziploc bags, ibuprofen (kids and adults), garbage bags, big carabiners to hook on the strolleuse to carry multiple bags at once.
-- Things the Internet Told Me to Pack that I Didn't Need: stainless steel straws (the paper straws are more like hard cardboard, they really don't break down unless your kid is gnawing on them or something), ponchos (it did rain some most days, but wearing a poncho was almost more miserable than not wearing one, it's so hot and humid to be walking around in a plastic bag! We did better taking shelter and using umbrellas.), wipes (obv you need them if your kid is younger, but mine were older and just never got messy enough to need them), glow sticks (we never stayed anywhere long enough to use them), bottled wateLiquid IV (the tap water tasted the same as home to us, but we live in a rural area so maybe we are just used to imperfect water?) Basically, the less you can get away carrying in the parks, the better. It's annoying to lug stuff around you don't end up needing or using!
🛞STROLLER🛞
-- I know it seems insane that your 5 year old and 9 year old will need a stroller, but mine definitely did. Once I accepted that I was going to have to get one, I tried to make the best of it, and actually got really into decorating it so we could always easily spot it in the sea (the decorations also later made nice wall decor for a gallery of our trip!) The Magic Spotter flag was the best investment, hardly anyone had them so it was easy to instantly spot our stroller anywhere we left it, even if it got moved. That said, I definitely didn't want to spend a lot on a stroller we were really only buying for this one trip, so I got a used Joovy Caboose on Facebook Marketplace for $50. It was very hard to handle with two older kids in it, and even with one it was hard to handle unless the kid was in the back seat. So we basically used it like a single stroller, glad I didn't spend a lot on it since it was so hard to drive!
☔WEATHER☔
-- We had mostly great weather, it rained some every day except Magic Kingdom day but it passed within an hour each time. We wore socks with Crocs so that if/when it rained, we could just take our wet socks off and walk in our Crocs, this worked great! Don't trust the weather reports though, two days it wasn't supposed to rain. One day it actually didn't, the other day it did and we had to walk in wet shoes because we didn't wear the Crocs that day. Just figure it might rain any day and be prepared! See above note RE: ponchos being not great and shelter + umbrellas being better. When it didn't rain, It. Was. Hot. 🥵 In the 90s but definitely felt hotter with the humidity making it so sticky. We felt there was plenty of shade at Animal Kingdom and EPCOT, but hardly any at Magic Kingdom and Hollywood Studios, which I would say slightly affected how much fun we had on those days comparatively.
Phew! That's about it, let me know if you have any questions!

I finally fixed this issue with xfce, and here's the catch. This issue is a quick google search away, but it only became a quick google search away in april 2024. It was just nowhere to be found before that and this is something I had been looking for since I first started using Arch Linux (Almost a year ago). I feel like for 3 years it was impossible to solve this problem via a google search given that the only reason I found a solution is because someone necroed a 3 year old post. I feel like this issue is one of the biggest reasons I couldn't recommend Linux.
Any time I resized mpv, it would freeze along with other programs (especially some wine programs). Any kind of function changing tabs could also make Firefox not showing what's inside the tab(it's just frozen but still interactable), lead to freezing, or lead to taking away my ability of moving tabs. I guess experienced some programs crashing, but that is hard to remember.
The issue is solved by disabling vblank. I did it for my whole distro, but you can do it for just xfce by doing xconf-query -c xfwm4 -o /general/vblank_mode -t string -s "off" --create. This seems to be an issue specific with nvidia, but other gpus may experience this but you may only need to set another vblank mode (instead of off). Like auto, glx, or xpresent. Just be wary before using this, xfce may just straight up stop working next time you boot up according to some people
Thing is, every time I mentioned this issue I just kept being told things like "lol xfce sucks, just use wayland or another desktop environment" or "xfce is old" or something else. I was never given a helpful response on this.
I believe that if I asked people for help on a subreddit or forum, I could had probably fixed this.
My hope is that other distros are optimized to not require the user to change this setting. If the installer knows what gpu you are using, it should set this setting for you. I can also accept that this is not done by default by Arch Linux since this is their design philosophy, but a cool feature is to have the installer give you the option to choose best recommended and optimized settings for your setup. This may be against what Arch Linux is about, but because it doesn't force it on you it should be okay to add that feature.
sorry if this post seems weirdly formatted or it has misspellings, I was jumping up and down while writing because I had a lot in my mind I was afraid to forget.
I still want to test enabling it again... there could be some misunderstanding. Better not post in another sub if I want to before I verify it
sources:
https://forum.xfce.org/viewtopic.php?id=15226
https://forum.xfce.org/viewtopic.php?id=13233
https://wiki.archlinux.org/title/Xfwm (IT WAS IN THE WIKI THE WHOLE TIME TOO, I was just looking at the wrong wiki page, again, also, I didn't have video tearing)
https://wiki.archlinux.org/title/Gaming#Reducing_DRI_latency (an alternate way which fixed the issue for me. People online says it improves fps but causes vsync, it's hard to say if it's worth it and unnecessary battery + resource usage.)

Hello everyone! Here is the Second Half of the guide. I hope everyone enjoys the guide and please let me know if you have any suggestions, fixes or feedback!

First Half

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Quest Cleanup Nepheli/Dung EateSeluvis

Note: You can complete Seluvis' Quest by giving the potion to Nepheli, but this guide will follow the path that gives the most rewards, specifically 2 Ancient Smithing Stones and a Puppet vs just a Puppet. This path will lock out one of the game's endings, but it's an ending that isn't required for an Achievement.

• From the Fallen Ruins of the Lake Grace: Head West to talk with Varre and receive the Lord of Blood's Favor.
• From the Foot of the Four Belfries Grace: Head North-East up to the top of the mountain and grab the Four Belfries Grace.
• Open the chest nearby to get an Imbued Sword Key.
• Use the Imp Statue North-East that has the message "Precipice of Anticipation" written nearby.
• Enter the portal to reach the Chapel of Anticipation.
• Kill the boss if you didn't at the start of the game.
• Head South across the bridge and up the stairs.
• Enter the small doorway to the North-West to grab The Stormhawk King
• Go into the building and jump down then interact with the dead finger maiden to dye the Lord of Blood's Favor.
• From the Fallen Ruins of the Lake Grace: Head West to talk with Varre and receive the Bloody Finger.
• Talk with Varre again to receive the Pureblood Knight's Medal
• Use the Pureblood Knight's Medal to enter Mohgwyn Dynasty Mausoleum
• Head South-West to grab the Dynasty Mausoleum Entrance Grace
• Follow the path South up the stairs and proceed as desired until you grab the Dynasty Mausoleum Midpoint Grace on the other end of the cave.
• Go back into the cave and Invade White Mask Varre
• Talk with Varre to receive Varre's Bouquet
• From the Roundtable Hold: Talk with the Finger Reader and purchase Radahn's Lion Armor from her.
• Go into the room past the Twin Maiden Husks to talk with the Dung-Eater and exhaust his dialogue to receive the Sewer-Gaol Key
• Head down the stairs past Blacksmith Hewg and talk with Nepheli.
• Talk with Gideon about Nepheli
• Return to Nepheli to exhaust her dialogue and give her The Stormhawk King. Be careful not to click too fast or you could accidentally give her the potion instead.
• From the Godrick the Grafted Grace: Rest at the grace, then rest at it again(Gostoc will disappear)
• Go North-West and talk with Nepheli to receive Ancient Dragon Smithing Stone
• Talk with Gostoc nearby to have access to purchase another Ancient Dragon Smithing Stone.
• From the Avenue Balcony Grace: Go down the stairs then jump over the railing to the West onto the roof.
• Jump down and go around the building to the North-West to find a well.
• Go down the well and continue forward until you grab the Underground Roadside Grace.
• Leave the room and go North to jump down the hole on the left to enter a sewer tunnel filled with rats.
• Follow the path North-West then South-West past the rats and flowers to climb the ladder.
• Open the cell and talk with Dung-Eater to release him.
• From the Outer Wall Battleground Grace: Head South-East up the stairs and keep heading East past the graveyard.
• Follow the road South-East down the slope to the pond.
• Head West to the other side of the pond and talk with Blackguard Big Boggart to buy a Boiled Crab and exhaust his dialogue.
• Reload and talk with Blackguard Big Boggart again to receive Iron Ball and Blackguard's Iron Mask
• Kill the Dung Eater Invader for the Sword of Milos.
• From the Roundtable Hold: Talk with the Dung-Eater and exhaust his dialogue.
• From the Underground Roadside Grace: Follow the same path as before to the cell where you found the Dung-Eater.
• Talk with the Dung-Eater to Administer Seluvis's Potion. Again, be careful not to click too fast or you could give him the Seedbed Curse.
• Once you are no longer able to talk with him, kill him to receive the Omen Armor Set. You will still have access to the puppet.
• From Ranni's Rise Grace: Head South-East to Seluvis's Rise and talk with Seluvis. You can now learn Sorcery from him.
• Talk with him about his chambers and choose the Jarwight Puppet as it is the more expensive of the 2.
• Reload and talk with him then reload and talk with him again to purchase Finger Maiden Therolina Puppet.
• Talk with him again to ask about his scheme and give him the Amber Starlight Shard.
• Talk with him again to receive the Magic Scorpion Charm

Quest Cleanup Rennala/Sellen/Boc/Fia/Ranni

• From Ranni's Rise: Go up the lift and talk with Ranni to give her the Fingerslayer Blade and receive the Carian Inverted Statue.
• From Royal Moongazing Grounds: Head North-West to Renna's Rise and go up the ladder to grab the Snow Witch Armor Set from the chest behind you.
• Continue up to use the portal and grab the Miniature Ranni from the coffin in front of you.
• Go South and grab the Ainsel River Main Grace
• Rest at the Grace and talk to the miniature Ranni 3 times.
• Follow the path South-West and stick to the river then through the doorway of the building to grab the Nokstella, Eternal City Grace
• Continue following the river West to find the lift in the final building on the left.
• Take the lift down to grab the Nokstella Waterfall Basin Grace
• Go through the small tunnel South-West to kill the Baleful Shadow and receive the Discarded Palace Key
• Continue through the doorway South-West and take the lift down to grab the Lake of Rot Shoreside Grace
• Proceed across the Lake of Rot as desired to the far South-West and grab the Grand Cloister Grace.
• From the Agheel Lake South Grace: Follow the road North and into the basement of the Waypoint Ruins to kill the Mad Pumpkin Head boss.
• Grab the Waypoint Ruins Cellar Grace
• Open the nearby door and ask to learn Sorcery from Sellen
• Show Azur's sorcery to Sellen, ask for her story and journey together with her.
• Talk to Sellen about her favor to receive the Sellian Sealbreaker
• From the Church of the Plague Grace: Head North-East up the slope and attack the illusory wall behind the large grave to reveal a cave
• Grab the Sellia Hideaway Grace
• Proceed through the cave as desired and interact with the seal at the bottom of the crevice.
• Talk with Lusat to receive the Stars of Ruin
• From the Waypoint Ruins Cellar: Talk with Sellen and tell her Lusat's location to receive a Starlight Shard.
• Talk with Sellen about her request.
• From the Bridge of Sacrifice Grace: Head West over the rocks and follow along the edge of the forest going very far West to the cliffs just past the ruins.
• Make your way up the cliffs, going North when possible to find the church and grab the Church of Pilgrimage Grace.
• Head far South-West, past the ruins and the evergaol to find the second church and grab the Fourth Church of Marika Grace.
• Go South and enter the basement of the Witchbane Ruins to talk with Sellen and receive Sellen's Primal Glintstone then exhaust her dialogue.
• Reload and talk with Jerren
• From Ranni's Rise: Head North-East into the basement of the ruins where you found Seluvis' puppets and interact with Sellen to give her Sellen's Primal Glintstone.
• From the Raya Lucaria Grand Library Grace: Open the chest nearby to receive the Dark Moon Ring
• Talk with Rennala and buy a rebirth to receive the Balled Up Emote.
• Go through the doors South-East and pick a sign to use. This guide will assume Sellen's as it offers more rewards and has extra steps to complete but if you choose to help Jerren, kill him afterwards for his armor.
• Defeat Jerren to receive the Eccentric's Armor Set
• Talk with Sellen to receive the Glintstone Kris and purchase Shard Spiral from her.
• Reload and grab the Witch's Glintstone Crown from nearby
• Head South-East through the doors and down the elevator
• Continue South-East into the other building and use the portal North-East to grab the Church of Vows Grace
• Open the chest in the church to receive the Gold Sewing Needle and the Golden Tailoring Tools
• Talk with Miriel nearby and give him the Golden Order Principia
• Purchase the Law of Regression from Miriel
• Follow the road East, then South-East to grab the Eastern Tableland Grace
• Continue following the road South to grab the Study Hall Entrance Grace
• Use the Carian Inverted Statue on the altar.
• Proceed through the Carian Study Hall as desired to grab the Liurnia Tower Bridge Grace
• Head East across the bridge to kill the Godskin Noble and receive the Godskin Noble Armor Set
• Continue East through the doors and up the lift to grab the Divine Tower of Liurnia Grace
• Go up the stairs and grab the Cursemark of Death and Stargazer Heirloom
• From the Primeval Sorcerer Azur Grace: Grab the Azur Armor Set from where you found him
• From the Sellia Hideaway Grace: Grab the Lusat Armor Set from where you found him
• From the East Capital Rampart Grace: Talk with Boc and exhaust his dialogue to give him the Gold Sewing Needle.
• Talk to Boc about his favor and grant his request to receive the My Lord Emote
• From the Prince of Death's Throne Grace: Talk with Fia and ask her to hold you
• Talk with Fia as she holds you to give her the Cursemark of Death and receive the Radiant Baldachin's Blessing then keep talking with Fia to exhaust her dialogue
• Reload and talk with her again
• Reload once more and interact with her to kill the Lichdragon Fortissax.
• Grab the Mending Rune of the Death-Prince from Fia.
• Reload to grab Fia's Armor Set
• Kill D, Beholder of Death to retrieve the Twinned Armor Set you lent him and take Inseparable Sword as interest.
• From the Grand Cloister Grace: Make your way down South-West to use the coffin
• Kill Astel, Naturalborn of the Void and grab the Grace.
• Head North-East into the tunnel and use the lift to grab the Moonlight Altar Grace
• Follow the road North-East to the cathedral and grab the Cathedral of Manus Celes Grace.
• Grab all of the Starlight Shards nearby for later.
• Drop down into the hole and give Ranni the ring.
• Talk with Ranni to receive the Dark Moon Greatsword.
• From the Ranni's Rise Grace: Head outside and defeat Blaidd to receive Blaidd's Armor Set and the Royal Greatsword.
• Go South to Seluvis's Rise to grab the Preceptor Set and purchase the Dung Eater Puppet from Seluvis's corpse
• Follow the cliff East and hop down to the bottom to find Pidia and receive the Dolores the Sleeping Arrow Puppet.
• From the Road to the Manor Grace: Talk with Iji and tell him of Blaidd's death.
• Reload to grab Iji's Mirrorhelm

Intelligence Required

Make sure to have the capability to get at least 37 Intelligence, even if just temporary. You can buff to this much even at 7 Intelligence, which is the lowest possible from Starting Class. Intelligence Boosts:

• Intelligence-knot Crystal Tear +10
• Twinsage Glintstone Crown +6
• Stargazer Heirloom +5
• Godrick's Great Rune +5
• Grafted Blade Greatsword's Ash of War +5
• Marika's Soarseal +5 (this isn't available at this point in the guide)
• Marika's Scarseal +3

Quest Progression Brother Corhyn/Goldmask/Hyetta

• From the Erdtree Sanctuary Grace: Equip the Law of Regression and prepare any necessary buffs to get to 37 Intelligence.
• Head West and go down the lift then the stairs to find a message that says "Regression alone reveals secrets"
• Stand on the message and cast Law of Regression to see the statue change then read the new message in front of you.
• From the West Capital Rampart Grace: Follow the path South-East past the branches and up the cliff continuing South-East to talk with Brother Corhyn about Goldmask
• Tell Goldmask the Truth to receive the Golden Order Totality Emote
• Talk with Brother Corhyn again to exhaust his dialogue.
• From the Underground Roadside Grace: Enter the hole that you went down on your way to the Dung Eater's prison cell.
• Run past the rats and enter the sewer pipe on the right.
• Run past the slugs, avoiding falling down the holes, until your reach an intersection with an open tunnel and a gate with no door
• Go right through the gate with no door and defeat the big guys to climb the ladder
• Use the lever to open the shortcut just in case
• Open the door and drop down to the left.
• Follow this path until you see a giant flower below you and instead turn around to go into the path under the stairs.
• Follow this path to the end to kill another big guy and climb another ladder
• Open the shortcut door just in case
• On the bridge before the shortcut door, go up the pipe and follow it to the end.
• Drop down to the left and jump onto the wooden walkway to go through the doorway.
• Kick the ladder to your left to lower it for an alternative route, just in case
• Jump down into the pipe below to see two paths. Go the path that does NOT have the gate with no door. You should see a rat on the correct path.
• Follow this path forward and jump over the first hole to fight a giant rat.
• Past the giant rat is a second hole that you should fall into. You can see a corpse with an item inside this hole.
• Open the shortcut gate nearby, just in case.
• Continue going down the path to climb down a ladder.
• Use the nearby lift to grab the Forsaken Depths Grace
• Go down the path North-East and kill Mohg, the Omen and grab the Cathedral of the Forsaken Grace
• Hit the altar and parkour your way to the bottom to grab the Frenzied Flame Proscription Grace.

WARNING: From here you have a choice. If you grab the Frenzied Flame then you will be locked out of all other endings unless you do ALL of the following:

• Help Millicent
• Defeat Malenia
• Defeat Placidusax

If you are confident you can do that, or want the Frenzied Flame Ending, then go ahead and proceed with this section. Otherwise you can wait until you have done all 3 of the above and come back at any time. So proceed at your own risk!

• From the Frenzied Flame Proscription Grace: Strip yourself of all equipment and interact with the door.
• Talk with Hyetta and exhaust her dialogue for the Frenzied Flame Seal

Mountaintops of the Giants

• From the Avenue Balcony Grace: Follow the road North-East and open the giant door
• Go up the stairs heading South-East and use the lift to reach the top
• Head East across the bridge and use the lift to grab the Forbidden Lands Grace
• Follow the path East and North-East to grab the Grand Lift of Rold Grace
• Use the lift to and head North-East to grab the Zamor Ruins Grace
• Grab the Ronin Armor Set nearby if you grabbed the Frenzied Flame. You can also kill Shabriri for it if desired.
• Follow the path going East then North until you fire a bunch of Fire Monks and a bridge.
• Go down the path South-East from the start of the bridge to grab the Giants' Mountaintop Catacombs Grace
• Proceed through the catacombs as desired to kill the boss and grab a Deathroot from the chest.
• From the Giants' Mountaintop Catacombs Grace: Leave the catacombs and cross the bridge.
• Head North-East up the path to grab the Ancient Snow Valley Ruins Grace
• Talk with Millicent and exhaust her dialogue.
• Head North to the frozen river then go West to invade Juno Hoslow, Knight of Blood and receive the Hoslow Armor Set and Hoslow's Petal Whip
• Go South and use the Spirit Jump then go onto the bridge to the East
• Talk with Corhyn and Goldmask to exhaust their dialogue.
• Go North-East to the Stargazer's Ruins and summon the Spirit Jellyfish Ashes to open the basement seal and collect the Primal Glintstone Blade from the chest.
• Cross the bridge to the West
• Follow the path East to grab the Snow Valley Ruins Overlook Grace next to the bridge.
• Head North-West and kill the Tibia Mariner on the cliff's edge to receive a Deathroot
• Go down the cliffs going North-West then go North-East to the castle to grab the Castle Sol Main Gate Grace
• Proceed through the area as desired to grab the Church of the Eclipse Grace
• Continue proceeding as desired to kill Commander Niall and grab the Castle Sol Rooftop Grace.
• Go up the lift behind the boss room to grab the Haligtree Secret Medallion (Left)
• From the Snow Valley Ruins Overlook Grace: Head North-East and grab the Freezing Lake Grace South-West of the frozen lake.
• Follow the edge of the lake far South-East to find a church and grab the First Church of Marika Grace
• Go West up the slope to grab the Whiteridge Road Grace
• Head South-West up the slope and cross the chains to grab the Giants' Gravepost Grace
• Go up the slope to the South, hugging the East wall and grab the Foot of the Forge Grace near the giant hand.
• Cross the chains to the North or South to kill the Fire Giant and grab the Fire Giant Grace
• Cross the chains to the North-East and go North to grab the Forge of the Giants Grace
• Light the flame to enter Crumbling Farrum Azula
• Proceed as desired to grab the Crumbling Beast Grave Grace

Volcano Manor

• From the Volcano Manor Grace: Talk with Patches to receive the Magma Whip Candlestick
• Talk with Rya to tell her the Truth and give her the Serpent's Amnion
• Talk with Bernahl to receive Gelmir's Fury
• Talk with Tanith to receive the Taker's Cameo and See the Lord
• Grab the Audience Pathway Grace
• Enter the boss room to grab the Serpent Hunter
• Kill Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy grab the Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy Grace
• Grab the Eye Surcoat from nearby
• From the Volcano Manor Grace: Talk with Patches, Bernahl and Tanith to exhaust their dialogue
• Grab the My Thanks Emote
• Reload to grab the Tonic of Forgetfulness from Tanith's chair
• From the Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy Grace: Attack Tanith and kill Tanith's Knight to receive Aspects of the Crucible: Breath and grab the Consort's Armor Set
• From the Temple of Eiglay Grace: Go up the lift and jump over the balcony to the East
• Follow the path East and then North-West into the window near the Iron Virgin
• Open the door and follow the path West into the room with the lift
• Use the lift and jump into the doorway to the North on the way down
• Jump out the window and enter the room nearby to talk with Rya but don't give her the Tonic of Forgetfulness
• Reload and talk with her again but still don't give her the Tonic of Forgetfulness
• Reload and grab Zorayas's Letter and Daedicar's Woe

Consecrated Snowfield

• From the Grand Lift of Rold Grace: Go to use the lift and switch to Hoist secret medallion to enter the Hidden Path to the Haligtree
• Proceed through the area as desired but make sure to kill the boss to receive the final Deathroot
• After killing the boss, take the teleport to grab the Hidden Path to the Haligtree Grace
• Head North to grab the Consecrated Snowfield Grace
• Continue far North to grab the Inner Consecrated Snowfield Grace just before the frozen river
• Keep going North to grab the Ordina, Liturgical Town Grace
• Head North-West to the church and defeat the Walking Mausoleum outside by hitting the skulls
• Grab the Apostate Derelict Grace in the church
• Grab the Silver Mirrorshield nearby and summon Latenna
• Talk to Latenna to receive a Somber Ancient Dragon Smithing Stone
• From the Ordina, Liturgical Town Grace: Head North through the town and use the Imp Statue
• Enter the evergaol and light the 4 statues to break the seal.
• Head up the stairs North-East to use the portal and grab the Haligtree Canopy

Miquella's Haligtree

• From the Haligtree Canopy Grace: Proceed through the branches as desired until you reach the Haligtree Town Grace
• From the Haligtree Town Grace: Proceed through the area as desired until you grab the Haligtree Town Plaza Grace
• Continue proceeding through the area to grab the lift shortcut.
• Kill Loretta, Haligtree Knight and grab the Haligtree Promenade Grace
• Follow the path past the boss room as desired to grab the Prayer Room Grace
• Talk to Millicent nearby
• Proceed through the area as desired to grab the Elphael Inner Wall Grace
• Continue proceeding through the area as desired to grab the Drainage Channel Grace
• From the Drainage Channel Grace: Go back West and up the ladder to go outside
• Go up the slope to the North and cross the branch going South-West to the pool of rot.
• Kill the Putrid Tree Spirit
• Go to the cliff on the North-West side to have a choice. Invading Millicent will give you Millicent's Prosthesis. Aiding Millicent will give you Rotten Wing Insignia and the Unalloyed Gold Needle which is needed to cure the Frenzied Flame. This guide will assume you Aided Millicent as it has more steps.
• After Aiding Millicent, talk to her on the North-West side of the rot pool to receive the Rotten Wing Insignia.
• Reload and grab the Unalloyed Gold Needle
• From the Drainage Channel Grace: Proceed as desired until you grab the Haligtree Roots Grace.
• Kill Malenia and grab the Malenia, Goddess of Rot Grace
• Interact with the Scarlet Aeonia to receive Miquella's Needle

Quest Cleanup Gowry/Gurranq/Gideon

• From the Church of the Plague Grace: Go West down the cliff to Gowry's Shack and collect the Flock's Canvas Talisman
• From the Bestial Sanctum Grace: Talk to Gurranq, Beast Clergyman and give him all 9 Deathroot to receive the Clawmark Seal, Beast Eye, Bestial Sling, Bestial Vitality and Ash of War: Beast's Roar.
• Reload and damage Gurranq enough for him to surrender
• Reload and talk with Gurranq again to receive Beast Claw, Stone of Gurranq, Beastclaw Greathammer, Gurranq's Beast Claw and an Ancient Dragon Smithing Stone.
• From the Dynasty Mausoleum Midpoint Grace: Kill Mohg, Lord of Blood and grab the Cocoon of the Empyrean Grace
• From the Roundtable Hold: Talk to Gideon and tell him about the secret medallions, the Haligtree Roots, Mohgwyn Palace and the Lord of Blood's cocoon for Black Flame's Protection, Lord's Divine Fortification, Fevor's Cookbook [3] and Law of Causality

Crumbling Farum Azula

• From the Crumbling Beast Grave Grace: Proceed through the area as desired until you reach the Dragon Temple Grace
• Kill the Godskin Duo and grab the Dragon Temple Altar Grace
• Continue proceeding through the area as desired and find the Imp Statue located where the most North-West red building is
• Use the Imp Statue to grab the Dragon Temple Lift Grace
• Proceed as desired going South from the Dragon Temple Lift Grace to find Alexander, Warrior Jar
• Talk with and defeat Alexander, Warrior Jar
• Talk with him again to receive the Shard of Alexander and Alexander's Innards
• From the Dragon Temple Lift Grace: Go down the lift and proceed as desired until you reach the Beside the Great Bridge Grace
• Climb the stairs to the West and then follow the path going North to it's end
• Kill the Invader Recusant Bernahl to receive the Blasphemous Claw, Devourer's Scepter and Beast Champion Armor Set
• From the Beside the Great Bridge Grace: Go down the lift and make your way West out of the building.
• Run to the cliff to the West and fall off the edge to the path below the cliff
• Make your way down to the bottom and interact with the empty grave to enter the boss room.
• Kill Dragonlord Placidusax and grab the Dragonlord Placidusax Grace
• If you wish to be rid of the Frenzied Flame and allow other endings: Use Miquella's Needle to cure yourself.
• From the Beside the Great Bridge Grace: Kill Maliketh, the Black Blade

Quest Cleanup Brother Corhyn/Goldmask/Jarbairn/Patches

• Grab the Leyndell, Capital of Ash Grace nearby
• Head far South and talk with Brother Corhyn
• Reload to grab Corhyn's Robe and a Flail
• Head South-West not up the stairs, across the branch bridge and receive the Mending Rune of Perfect Order from Goldmask
• Reload and grab the Goldmask Armor Set
• From the Jarburg Grace: Talk with Jarbairn on the staircase nearby and agree to be his Potentate
• Reload and talk to him again
• Reload and talk to him one more time to give him Alexander's Insides and exhaust his dialogue
• Reload and grab the Companion Jar from where he was on the stairs.
• From the Shaded Castle Inner Gate Grace: Follow the path to the North up the ladder and up the lift to the boss room.
• Just before the boss room, talk with Patches to receive the Dancer's Castanets and exhaust his dialogue
• Reload to confirm he disappears
• From the Murkwater Cave Grace: Go to the boss room and open the chest.
• Don't kill the boss to receive the Patches' Crouch Emote
• Kill Patches to receive a +7 Spear and the Leather Armor Set
• From here you can complete the game as desired. The only unique rewards you will be missing are the Nepheli Loux Puppet and Millicent's Prosthesis which can both be acquired fairly early on NG+.

And with that, all of the questlines are completed! If you enjoyed the guide, be sure to check out my other Guides.

First Half

Hello everyone! Here is the Second Half of the guide. I hope everyone enjoys the guide and please let me know if you have any suggestions, fixes or feedback!

First Half

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Quest Cleanup Nepheli/Dung EateSeluvis

Note: You can complete Seluvis' Quest by giving the potion to Nepheli, but this guide will follow the path that gives the most rewards, specifically 2 Ancient Smithing Stones and a Puppet vs just a Puppet. This path will lock out one of the game's endings, but it's an ending that isn't required for an Achievement.

• From the Fallen Ruins of the Lake Grace: Head West to talk with Varre and receive the Lord of Blood's Favor.
• From the Foot of the Four Belfries Grace: Head North-East up to the top of the mountain and grab the Four Belfries Grace.
• Open the chest nearby to get an Imbued Sword Key.
• Use the Imp Statue North-East that has the message "Precipice of Anticipation" written nearby.
• Enter the portal to reach the Chapel of Anticipation.
• Kill the boss if you didn't at the start of the game.
• Head South across the bridge and up the stairs.
• Enter the small doorway to the North-West to grab The Stormhawk King
• Go into the building and jump down then interact with the dead finger maiden to dye the Lord of Blood's Favor.
• From the Fallen Ruins of the Lake Grace: Head West to talk with Varre and receive the Bloody Finger.
• Talk with Varre again to receive the Pureblood Knight's Medal
• Use the Pureblood Knight's Medal to enter Mohgwyn Dynasty Mausoleum
• Head South-West to grab the Dynasty Mausoleum Entrance Grace
• Follow the path South up the stairs and proceed as desired until you grab the Dynasty Mausoleum Midpoint Grace on the other end of the cave.
• Go back into the cave and Invade White Mask Varre
• Talk with Varre to receive Varre's Bouquet
• From the Roundtable Hold: Talk with the Finger Reader and purchase Radahn's Lion Armor from her.
• Go into the room past the Twin Maiden Husks to talk with the Dung-Eater and exhaust his dialogue to receive the Sewer-Gaol Key
• Head down the stairs past Blacksmith Hewg and talk with Nepheli.
• Talk with Gideon about Nepheli
• Return to Nepheli to exhaust her dialogue and give her The Stormhawk King. Be careful not to click too fast or you could accidentally give her the potion instead.
• From the Godrick the Grafted Grace: Rest at the grace, then rest at it again(Gostoc will disappear)
• Go North-West and talk with Nepheli to receive Ancient Dragon Smithing Stone
• Talk with Gostoc nearby to have access to purchase another Ancient Dragon Smithing Stone.
• From the Avenue Balcony Grace: Go down the stairs then jump over the railing to the West onto the roof.
• Jump down and go around the building to the North-West to find a well.
• Go down the well and continue forward until you grab the Underground Roadside Grace.
• Leave the room and go North to jump down the hole on the left to enter a sewer tunnel filled with rats.
• Follow the path North-West then South-West past the rats and flowers to climb the ladder.
• Open the cell and talk with Dung-Eater to release him.
• From the Outer Wall Battleground Grace: Head South-East up the stairs and keep heading East past the graveyard.
• Follow the road South-East down the slope to the pond.
• Head West to the other side of the pond and talk with Blackguard Big Boggart to buy a Boiled Crab and exhaust his dialogue.
• Reload and talk with Blackguard Big Boggart again to receive Iron Ball and Blackguard's Iron Mask
• Kill the Dung Eater Invader for the Sword of Milos.
• From the Roundtable Hold: Talk with the Dung-Eater and exhaust his dialogue.
• From the Underground Roadside Grace: Follow the same path as before to the cell where you found the Dung-Eater.
• Talk with the Dung-Eater to Administer Seluvis's Potion. Again, be careful not to click too fast or you could give him the Seedbed Curse.
• Once you are no longer able to talk with him, kill him to receive the Omen Armor Set. You will still have access to the puppet.
• From Ranni's Rise Grace: Head South-East to Seluvis's Rise and talk with Seluvis. You can now learn Sorcery from him.
• Talk with him about his chambers and choose the Jarwight Puppet as it is the more expensive of the 2.
• Reload and talk with him then reload and talk with him again to purchase Finger Maiden Therolina Puppet.
• Talk with him again to ask about his scheme and give him the Amber Starlight Shard.
• Talk with him again to receive the Magic Scorpion Charm

Quest Cleanup Rennala/Sellen/Boc/Fia/Ranni

• From Ranni's Rise: Go up the lift and talk with Ranni to give her the Fingerslayer Blade and receive the Carian Inverted Statue.
• From Royal Moongazing Grounds: Head North-West to Renna's Rise and go up the ladder to grab the Snow Witch Armor Set from the chest behind you.
• Continue up to use the portal and grab the Miniature Ranni from the coffin in front of you.
• Go South and grab the Ainsel River Main Grace
• Rest at the Grace and talk to the miniature Ranni 3 times.
• Follow the path South-West and stick to the river then through the doorway of the building to grab the Nokstella, Eternal City Grace
• Continue following the river West to find the lift in the final building on the left.
• Take the lift down to grab the Nokstella Waterfall Basin Grace
• Go through the small tunnel South-West to kill the Baleful Shadow and receive the Discarded Palace Key
• Continue through the doorway South-West and take the lift down to grab the Lake of Rot Shoreside Grace
• Proceed across the Lake of Rot as desired to the far South-West and grab the Grand Cloister Grace.
• From the Agheel Lake South Grace: Follow the road North and into the basement of the Waypoint Ruins to kill the Mad Pumpkin Head boss.
• Grab the Waypoint Ruins Cellar Grace
• Open the nearby door and ask to learn Sorcery from Sellen
• Show Azur's sorcery to Sellen, ask for her story and journey together with her.
• Talk to Sellen about her favor to receive the Sellian Sealbreaker
• From the Church of the Plague Grace: Head North-East up the slope and attack the illusory wall behind the large grave to reveal a cave
• Grab the Sellia Hideaway Grace
• Proceed through the cave as desired and interact with the seal at the bottom of the crevice.
• Talk with Lusat to receive the Stars of Ruin
• From the Waypoint Ruins Cellar: Talk with Sellen and tell her Lusat's location to receive a Starlight Shard.
• Talk with Sellen about her request.
• From the Bridge of Sacrifice Grace: Head West over the rocks and follow along the edge of the forest going very far West to the cliffs just past the ruins.
• Make your way up the cliffs, going North when possible to find the church and grab the Church of Pilgrimage Grace.
• Head far South-West, past the ruins and the evergaol to find the second church and grab the Fourth Church of Marika Grace.
• Go South and enter the basement of the Witchbane Ruins to talk with Sellen and receive Sellen's Primal Glintstone then exhaust her dialogue.
• Reload and talk with Jerren
• From Ranni's Rise: Head North-East into the basement of the ruins where you found Seluvis' puppets and interact with Sellen to give her Sellen's Primal Glintstone.
• From the Raya Lucaria Grand Library Grace: Open the chest nearby to receive the Dark Moon Ring
• Talk with Rennala and buy a rebirth to receive the Balled Up Emote.
• Go through the doors South-East and pick a sign to use. This guide will assume Sellen's as it offers more rewards and has extra steps to complete but if you choose to help Jerren, kill him afterwards for his armor.
• Defeat Jerren to receive the Eccentric's Armor Set
• Talk with Sellen to receive the Glintstone Kris and purchase Shard Spiral from her.
• Reload and grab the Witch's Glintstone Crown from nearby
• Head South-East through the doors and down the elevator
• Continue South-East into the other building and use the portal North-East to grab the Church of Vows Grace
• Open the chest in the church to receive the Gold Sewing Needle and the Golden Tailoring Tools
• Talk with Miriel nearby and give him the Golden Order Principia
• Purchase the Law of Regression from Miriel
• Follow the road East, then South-East to grab the Eastern Tableland Grace
• Continue following the road South to grab the Study Hall Entrance Grace
• Use the Carian Inverted Statue on the altar.
• Proceed through the Carian Study Hall as desired to grab the Liurnia Tower Bridge Grace
• Head East across the bridge to kill the Godskin Noble and receive the Godskin Noble Armor Set
• Continue East through the doors and up the lift to grab the Divine Tower of Liurnia Grace
• Go up the stairs and grab the Cursemark of Death and Stargazer Heirloom
• From the Primeval Sorcerer Azur Grace: Grab the Azur Armor Set from where you found him
• From the Sellia Hideaway Grace: Grab the Lusat Armor Set from where you found him
• From the East Capital Rampart Grace: Talk with Boc and exhaust his dialogue to give him the Gold Sewing Needle.
• Talk to Boc about his favor and grant his request to receive the My Lord Emote
• From the Prince of Death's Throne Grace: Talk with Fia and ask her to hold you
• Talk with Fia as she holds you to give her the Cursemark of Death and receive the Radiant Baldachin's Blessing then keep talking with Fia to exhaust her dialogue
• Reload and talk with her again
• Reload once more and interact with her to kill the Lichdragon Fortissax.
• Grab the Mending Rune of the Death-Prince from Fia.
• Reload to grab Fia's Armor Set
• Kill D, Beholder of Death to retrieve the Twinned Armor Set you lent him and take Inseparable Sword as interest.
• From the Grand Cloister Grace: Make your way down South-West to use the coffin
• Kill Astel, Naturalborn of the Void and grab the Grace.
• Head North-East into the tunnel and use the lift to grab the Moonlight Altar Grace
• Follow the road North-East to the cathedral and grab the Cathedral of Manus Celes Grace.
• Grab all of the Starlight Shards nearby for later.
• Drop down into the hole and give Ranni the ring.
• Talk with Ranni to receive the Dark Moon Greatsword.
• From the Ranni's Rise Grace: Head outside and defeat Blaidd to receive Blaidd's Armor Set and the Royal Greatsword.
• Go South to Seluvis's Rise to grab the Preceptor Set and purchase the Dung Eater Puppet from Seluvis's corpse
• Follow the cliff East and hop down to the bottom to find Pidia and receive the Dolores the Sleeping Arrow Puppet.
• From the Road to the Manor Grace: Talk with Iji and tell him of Blaidd's death.
• Reload to grab Iji's Mirrorhelm

Intelligence Required

Make sure to have the capability to get at least 37 Intelligence, even if just temporary. You can buff to this much even at 7 Intelligence, which is the lowest possible from Starting Class. Intelligence Boosts:

• Intelligence-knot Crystal Tear +10
• Twinsage Glintstone Crown +6
• Stargazer Heirloom +5
• Godrick's Great Rune +5
• Grafted Blade Greatsword's Ash of War +5
• Marika's Soarseal +5 (this isn't available at this point in the guide)
• Marika's Scarseal +3

Quest Progression Brother Corhyn/Goldmask/Hyetta

• From the Erdtree Sanctuary Grace: Equip the Law of Regression and prepare any necessary buffs to get to 37 Intelligence.
• Head West and go down the lift then the stairs to find a message that says "Regression alone reveals secrets"
• Stand on the message and cast Law of Regression to see the statue change then read the new message in front of you.
• From the West Capital Rampart Grace: Follow the path South-East past the branches and up the cliff continuing South-East to talk with Brother Corhyn about Goldmask
• Tell Goldmask the Truth to receive the Golden Order Totality Emote
• Talk with Brother Corhyn again to exhaust his dialogue.
• From the Underground Roadside Grace: Enter the hole that you went down on your way to the Dung Eater's prison cell.
• Run past the rats and enter the sewer pipe on the right.
• Run past the slugs, avoiding falling down the holes, until your reach an intersection with an open tunnel and a gate with no door
• Go right through the gate with no door and defeat the big guys to climb the ladder
• Use the lever to open the shortcut just in case
• Open the door and drop down to the left.
• Follow this path until you see a giant flower below you and instead turn around to go into the path under the stairs.
• Follow this path to the end to kill another big guy and climb another ladder
• Open the shortcut door just in case
• On the bridge before the shortcut door, go up the pipe and follow it to the end.
• Drop down to the left and jump onto the wooden walkway to go through the doorway.
• Kick the ladder to your left to lower it for an alternative route, just in case
• Jump down into the pipe below to see two paths. Go the path that does NOT have the gate with no door. You should see a rat on the correct path.
• Follow this path forward and jump over the first hole to fight a giant rat.
• Past the giant rat is a second hole that you should fall into. You can see a corpse with an item inside this hole.
• Open the shortcut gate nearby, just in case.
• Continue going down the path to climb down a ladder.
• Use the nearby lift to grab the Forsaken Depths Grace
• Go down the path North-East and kill Mohg, the Omen and grab the Cathedral of the Forsaken Grace
• Hit the altar and parkour your way to the bottom to grab the Frenzied Flame Proscription Grace.

WARNING: From here you have a choice. If you grab the Frenzied Flame then you will be locked out of all other endings unless you do ALL of the following:

• Help Millicent
• Defeat Malenia
• Defeat Placidusax

If you are confident you can do that, or want the Frenzied Flame Ending, then go ahead and proceed with this section. Otherwise you can wait until you have done all 3 of the above and come back at any time. So proceed at your own risk!

• From the Frenzied Flame Proscription Grace: Strip yourself of all equipment and interact with the door.
• Talk with Hyetta and exhaust her dialogue for the Frenzied Flame Seal

Mountaintops of the Giants

• From the Avenue Balcony Grace: Follow the road North-East and open the giant door
• Go up the stairs heading South-East and use the lift to reach the top
• Head East across the bridge and use the lift to grab the Forbidden Lands Grace
• Follow the path East and North-East to grab the Grand Lift of Rold Grace
• Use the lift to and head North-East to grab the Zamor Ruins Grace
• Grab the Ronin Armor Set nearby if you grabbed the Frenzied Flame. You can also kill Shabriri for it if desired.
• Follow the path going East then North until you fire a bunch of Fire Monks and a bridge.
• Go down the path South-East from the start of the bridge to grab the Giants' Mountaintop Catacombs Grace
• Proceed through the catacombs as desired to kill the boss and grab a Deathroot from the chest.
• From the Giants' Mountaintop Catacombs Grace: Leave the catacombs and cross the bridge.
• Head North-East up the path to grab the Ancient Snow Valley Ruins Grace
• Talk with Millicent and exhaust her dialogue.
• Head North to the frozen river then go West to invade Juno Hoslow, Knight of Blood and receive the Hoslow Armor Set and Hoslow's Petal Whip
• Go South and use the Spirit Jump then go onto the bridge to the East
• Talk with Corhyn and Goldmask to exhaust their dialogue.
• Go North-East to the Stargazer's Ruins and summon the Spirit Jellyfish Ashes to open the basement seal and collect the Primal Glintstone Blade from the chest.
• Cross the bridge to the West
• Follow the path East to grab the Snow Valley Ruins Overlook Grace next to the bridge.
• Head North-West and kill the Tibia Mariner on the cliff's edge to receive a Deathroot
• Go down the cliffs going North-West then go North-East to the castle to grab the Castle Sol Main Gate Grace
• Proceed through the area as desired to grab the Church of the Eclipse Grace
• Continue proceeding as desired to kill Commander Niall and grab the Castle Sol Rooftop Grace.
• Go up the lift behind the boss room to grab the Haligtree Secret Medallion (Left)
• From the Snow Valley Ruins Overlook Grace: Head North-East and grab the Freezing Lake Grace South-West of the frozen lake.
• Follow the edge of the lake far South-East to find a church and grab the First Church of Marika Grace
• Go West up the slope to grab the Whiteridge Road Grace
• Head South-West up the slope and cross the chains to grab the Giants' Gravepost Grace
• Go up the slope to the South, hugging the East wall and grab the Foot of the Forge Grace near the giant hand.
• Cross the chains to the North or South to kill the Fire Giant and grab the Fire Giant Grace
• Cross the chains to the North-East and go North to grab the Forge of the Giants Grace
• Light the flame to enter Crumbling Farrum Azula
• Proceed as desired to grab the Crumbling Beast Grave Grace

Volcano Manor

• From the Volcano Manor Grace: Talk with Patches to receive the Magma Whip Candlestick
• Talk with Rya to tell her the Truth and give her the Serpent's Amnion
• Talk with Bernahl to receive Gelmir's Fury
• Talk with Tanith to receive the Taker's Cameo and See the Lord
• Grab the Audience Pathway Grace
• Enter the boss room to grab the Serpent Hunter
• Kill Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy grab the Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy Grace
• Grab the Eye Surcoat from nearby
• From the Volcano Manor Grace: Talk with Patches, Bernahl and Tanith to exhaust their dialogue
• Grab the My Thanks Emote
• Reload to grab the Tonic of Forgetfulness from Tanith's chair
• From the Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy Grace: Attack Tanith and kill Tanith's Knight to receive Aspects of the Crucible: Breath and grab the Consort's Armor Set
• From the Temple of Eiglay Grace: Go up the lift and jump over the balcony to the East
• Follow the path East and then North-West into the window near the Iron Virgin
• Open the door and follow the path West into the room with the lift
• Use the lift and jump into the doorway to the North on the way down
• Jump out the window and enter the room nearby to talk with Rya but don't give her the Tonic of Forgetfulness
• Reload and talk with her again but still don't give her the Tonic of Forgetfulness
• Reload and grab Zorayas's Letter and Daedicar's Woe

Consecrated Snowfield

• From the Grand Lift of Rold Grace: Go to use the lift and switch to Hoist secret medallion to enter the Hidden Path to the Haligtree
• Proceed through the area as desired but make sure to kill the boss to receive the final Deathroot
• After killing the boss, take the teleport to grab the Hidden Path to the Haligtree Grace
• Head North to grab the Consecrated Snowfield Grace
• Continue far North to grab the Inner Consecrated Snowfield Grace just before the frozen river
• Keep going North to grab the Ordina, Liturgical Town Grace
• Head North-West to the church and defeat the Walking Mausoleum outside by hitting the skulls
• Grab the Apostate Derelict Grace in the church
• Grab the Silver Mirrorshield nearby and summon Latenna
• Talk to Latenna to receive a Somber Ancient Dragon Smithing Stone
• From the Ordina, Liturgical Town Grace: Head North through the town and use the Imp Statue
• Enter the evergaol and light the 4 statues to break the seal.
• Head up the stairs North-East to use the portal and grab the Haligtree Canopy

Miquella's Haligtree

• From the Haligtree Canopy Grace: Proceed through the branches as desired until you reach the Haligtree Town Grace
• From the Haligtree Town Grace: Proceed through the area as desired until you grab the Haligtree Town Plaza Grace
• Continue proceeding through the area to grab the lift shortcut.
• Kill Loretta, Haligtree Knight and grab the Haligtree Promenade Grace
• Follow the path past the boss room as desired to grab the Prayer Room Grace
• Talk to Millicent nearby
• Proceed through the area as desired to grab the Elphael Inner Wall Grace
• Continue proceeding through the area as desired to grab the Drainage Channel Grace
• From the Drainage Channel Grace: Go back West and up the ladder to go outside
• Go up the slope to the North and cross the branch going South-West to the pool of rot.
• Kill the Putrid Tree Spirit
• Go to the cliff on the North-West side to have a choice. Invading Millicent will give you Millicent's Prosthesis. Aiding Millicent will give you Rotten Wing Insignia and the Unalloyed Gold Needle which is needed to cure the Frenzied Flame. This guide will assume you Aided Millicent as it has more steps.
• After Aiding Millicent, talk to her on the North-West side of the rot pool to receive the Rotten Wing Insignia.
• Reload and grab the Unalloyed Gold Needle
• From the Drainage Channel Grace: Proceed as desired until you grab the Haligtree Roots Grace.
• Kill Malenia and grab the Malenia, Goddess of Rot Grace
• Interact with the Scarlet Aeonia to receive Miquella's Needle

Quest Cleanup Gowry/Gurranq/Gideon

• From the Church of the Plague Grace: Go West down the cliff to Gowry's Shack and collect the Flock's Canvas Talisman
• From the Bestial Sanctum Grace: Talk to Gurranq, Beast Clergyman and give him all 9 Deathroot to receive the Clawmark Seal, Beast Eye, Bestial Sling, Bestial Vitality and Ash of War: Beast's Roar.
• Reload and damage Gurranq enough for him to surrender
• Reload and talk with Gurranq again to receive Beast Claw, Stone of Gurranq, Beastclaw Greathammer, Gurranq's Beast Claw and an Ancient Dragon Smithing Stone.
• From the Dynasty Mausoleum Midpoint Grace: Kill Mohg, Lord of Blood and grab the Cocoon of the Empyrean Grace
• From the Roundtable Hold: Talk to Gideon and tell him about the secret medallions, the Haligtree Roots, Mohgwyn Palace and the Lord of Blood's cocoon for Black Flame's Protection, Lord's Divine Fortification, Fevor's Cookbook [3] and Law of Causality

Crumbling Farum Azula

• From the Crumbling Beast Grave Grace: Proceed through the area as desired until you reach the Dragon Temple Grace
• Kill the Godskin Duo and grab the Dragon Temple Altar Grace
• Continue proceeding through the area as desired and find the Imp Statue located where the most North-West red building is
• Use the Imp Statue to grab the Dragon Temple Lift Grace
• Proceed as desired going South from the Dragon Temple Lift Grace to find Alexander, Warrior Jar
• Talk with and defeat Alexander, Warrior Jar
• Talk with him again to receive the Shard of Alexander and Alexander's Innards
• From the Dragon Temple Lift Grace: Go down the lift and proceed as desired until you reach the Beside the Great Bridge Grace
• Climb the stairs to the West and then follow the path going North to it's end
• Kill the Invader Recusant Bernahl to receive the Blasphemous Claw, Devourer's Scepter and Beast Champion Armor Set
• From the Beside the Great Bridge Grace: Go down the lift and make your way West out of the building.
• Run to the cliff to the West and fall off the edge to the path below the cliff
• Make your way down to the bottom and interact with the empty grave to enter the boss room.
• Kill Dragonlord Placidusax and grab the Dragonlord Placidusax Grace
• If you wish to be rid of the Frenzied Flame and allow other endings: Use Miquella's Needle to cure yourself.
• From the Beside the Great Bridge Grace: Kill Maliketh, the Black Blade

Quest Cleanup Brother Corhyn/Goldmask/Jarbairn/Patches

• Grab the Leyndell, Capital of Ash Grace nearby
• Head far South and talk with Brother Corhyn
• Reload to grab Corhyn's Robe and a Flail
• Head South-West not up the stairs, across the branch bridge and receive the Mending Rune of Perfect Order from Goldmask
• Reload and grab the Goldmask Armor Set
• From the Jarburg Grace: Talk with Jarbairn on the staircase nearby and agree to be his Potentate
• Reload and talk to him again
• Reload and talk to him one more time to give him Alexander's Insides and exhaust his dialogue
• Reload and grab the Companion Jar from where he was on the stairs.
• From the Shaded Castle Inner Gate Grace: Follow the path to the North up the ladder and up the lift to the boss room.
• Just before the boss room, talk with Patches to receive the Dancer's Castanets and exhaust his dialogue
• Reload to confirm he disappears
• From the Murkwater Cave Grace: Go to the boss room and open the chest.
• Don't kill the boss to receive the Patches' Crouch Emote
• Kill Patches to receive a +7 Spear and the Leather Armor Set
• From here you can complete the game as desired. The only unique rewards you will be missing are the Nepheli Loux Puppet and Millicent's Prosthesis which can both be acquired fairly early on NG+.

And with that, all of the questlines are completed! If you enjoyed the guide, be sure to check out my other Guides. We also have a Website to keep track of your game progress, a Youtube and a Discord where you can come hang out.

First Half

Time Heals goes the same, but the alternate version of Ben would use Dragon-fry instead of Swampfire.
The Final Battle Part 1 and 2:
Ben would have been captured by Kraab, and he would have purposefully been grabbed by Kraab, getting the key and turning into Ghostfreak. Just like the time he fought Kraab in the original story. Ben would turn into Frankenstrike to attack the meteors.
Albedo would still kidnap Kevin using Diamondhead and would use both Wildvine and Un-perceivable to kidnap Gwen. ALbedo would fail to kidnap Max, and Ben would fight Albedo with Peel-Puncher. Albedo would go ultimate and Ben would rush at him, however, Ben mentally can't bring himself to harm Albedo. Albedo would send out the tendrils that would usually be used to drink water, and stab them into Ben, stealing a lot of water, making Ben succumb to the effects of de-hydration.
Ben would give up the Omnitrix, make it self-destruct, and steal the Ultimatrix. Rather than turning into Swampfire, he would turn into Dragon-fry. Ben would shoot a laser blast, similar to Swampfire's fire blast. Dragon-fry would swipe at Vilgax with his claws, slamming him into the wall. Dragon-fry would continue to shoot a laser blast, since he does not have access to vines.
Vilgax would raise his shield, blocking the blast. He would shoot his own laser blast, countering Dragon-fry's laser. The laser hits Dragon-fry and hits the wall. Ben would activate the ultimate feature on Dragon-fry, blasting Vilgax with a blast of ice and electricity, freezing and shocking Vilgax. Ben would fire a blast of steam by combining his water and fire breath, pushing Vilgax back. Ben would fire a blast of flaming electricity, burning Vilgax. The ship would crash into the ocean. The glass would crack, and Vilgax would turn into his true form. Ultimate Dragon-fry would be dragged into the water, and would coat his wings with electricity, freeing himself. Ben would turn into Ghostfreak, getting out of the explosion.
Ultimate Alien:
Fame:
Ben would turn into Peel-Puncher to scare off the reporters. They would get on the Rustbucket 3, and would save the falling solider with Dragon-fry. Everything else goes the exact same, since he has the same aliens. He would scan Bivalvan, gaining Water Hazard.
Duped is skipped, since there is no Echo-Echo. I think Ben would stick with Kevin, fighting the Forever Knights. Ben would use Upgrade to merge with the mech de-activating it.
UAF Roster:

1. Hydro-fold (Aquarian): Has a containment suit that allows him to survive. Makes him able to survive in a vacuum. The suit is much more durable than Labrid's suit so it won't tear. If it is breached, then a fail-save will de-transform Ben into human form.
2. Peel-Puncher (Highbreed) (Name derived from a commenter, but I can't remember who): Can fly. Shoot needles from his fingers. Immune to cold but not being frozen by ice. The Omnitrix cleaned his DNA so he isn't sick.
3. Pick-axer (Name is WIP): Has a pickax that can be enhanced with electricity. Has a headlight to see in the dark.
4. Dragon-fry (Dragon): Flight. Fire (Maybe laser) breath. Highly durable.
5. Bullfrag (Incursion): Same as original. No sunglasses :(
6. Sparklebellum (Sylonnoid) (Name from Derrick J Wyatt): Can survive in a vacuum.
7. Frog-dodge (Gilhil's species): Same as Bullfrag. As strong as stone Kevin.
8. Spider-Monkey: Can shoot webs out of tail. Four arms. Enhanced in all attributes.
9. Moon-man (WIP name): No powers
10. Tiny Big (WIP name): Stronger than Humungosaur. Can't see in the dark. Sees people with sparks in their Anodite form.
11. Arma-mask: Has four arms. No powers
12. Null-Slate: No powers
13. Whisker-Word: No powers
14. Sun-Lite: (based off the ): When in the presence of sunlight, he can heal others.
15. Void-Ogre (WIP): Can manipulate darkness, making himself hard to see.
16. Tele-static: Can short-circuit machines. Can teleport themselves to other places they have been or know the location of. Can teleport objects to himself
17. Cobra-crush: Same powers as Ssserpent.
18. Decagon Vreedle (Vreedle): Can survive in a vacuum. Expert at pyrotechnics. Will eventually be regenerated when killed
19. War-Monger (WIP Name): No powers. is short
20. Grem-lunch (Gremlin + Lunch): If he consumes meat before or during the transformation, Ben will turn into his primal form, allowing him to absorb electricity and become huge. The Omnitrix prevents his mind from being poisoned.
21. Grey-skull (He-man/She-ra reference): Stonger than a human.
22. Ghostfreak (Ectonurite): Can possess people. Flight. Intangibility. Tendrils. Invisibility.
23. Frankenstrike (Transylian): Can shoot electricity. Can stick to metal.
24. Blitzwolfer (Loboan): Can shoot sonic howls. Has claws and a jaw.
25. Snare-Oh (Teph Khufan): Made of bandages, which can be used to wrap people up. Can't be hurt.
26. Un-perceivable: Can perceive many dimensions, allowing him to perceive invisible beings. Can teleport. Is unable to be harmed due to being made out of that weird energy. Telekinesis.
27. Marshmallow Marauder (Lewodan (Name By DJW)): Can float, and can use electromagnetism, short-circuiting technology. Can regenerate.
28. Power snack: The more he eats, the stronger he gets. Has to be actual food.
29. Nanomech: Very small. Can shrink. Can shoot green energy.
30. Plas-max (Name may be used already): Can shoot solar rays. Teleportation.
31. Water Hazard: Can shoot water. Has hard armor.

Ultimate Forms used:

1. Ultimate Peel-Puncher: He can use his tendrils to drain the water out of living things, weakening them. (Like Cell from DBZ) Plant based life like Highbreed, methanosians, and Flouranas are unable to attack him.
2. Ultimate Dragon-fry: (Power by Optimal_Ad6274) Elemental Breath "The ability to breathe different elemental beams like fire, water, ice, lightning, etc." Quote from him. Can surround his wings with those elements.
3. Ultimate Spidermonkey: Same as original

Returning aliens:

1. Returning Aliens:
2. Ultra-Ben
3. Chromastone
4. Upgrade
5. Quick-shot
6. Diamondhead
7. Wildvine
8. Heatblast (Writers statement)
9. Wildmutt (Writers statement)

Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38,
Based on a this post: "What if the Omnitrix only had the scan function."