27/28. Batgirl Begins - 4/5 (Starting this in medias res was a good choice, since if you're already familiar with Batman stuff, you know Barbara was gonna become Batgirl in this (and even if you don't, the title would reveal as much). So starting with a Poison Ivy fight made me more curious to see everything that lead up to it was opposed to just waiting for the "reveal" that Barbara becomes Batgirl and Pamela becomes Poison Ivy. Plus, Barbara's snarky narration was amusing. Introducing Batgirl as Batman's first sidekick (even if this was merely due to a stupid embargo) as well as making Poison Ivy be her best friend turned arch nemesis is pretty fun because of its uniqueness alone. Especially because it makes the stakes more interesting when Ivy has a personal grudge against Gordon. And I liked Batman's "not every child gets the opportunity to rescue their parent" comment. Yeah, it's cliché, but that stuff is the core of Batman, so it's nice to see this side of him acknowledged, since it rarely is in this series. Also, making Gordon not able to recognize Batgirl as Barbara because he wasn't wearing his glasses was pretty "clever". "Clever" in quotations because it's still dumb, but since most DC shows love to sell you on the idea that people cannot recognize each other's face by simply putting a mask on the top half, it's funny that this series bothered to give an explanation at all. He should still have recognized her voice, but you can't win 'em all.)
29. A Dark Knight to Remember - 3/5 (Freezing Poison Ivy in the previous episode, then defeating the Kabuki Twins by freezing them in this as well? Batman is becoming Mr. Freeze. Anyway, here's a pretty standard amnesia cartoon episode. Decent gimmick, and they also added a stock Secret Identity Almost Discovered:tm: plot to spice things up. The circumstances of Bruce's amnesia being the perfect cover for Barbara dropping the idea that he could be Batman is fun, but Bruce's actual amnesia is just cartoonishly illogical. Even if he lost memories of his last few years as the Batman, how would that also genuinely make him a self absorbed playboy? He was always a broody guy with a heart of gold, even before donning the cape and cowl.)
30. A Fistful of Felt - 3/5 (This is just a poor man's Double Talk. It treads the exact same stuff; Wesker is cured of Scarface so he lives a peaceful life before Scarface forcibly reappears at the hands of someone trying to bait him and he succumbs to it before Batman eventually confronts him and Scarface gets destroyed. Except this is way less substantial and lacking in drama and emotion. It's a shame, because during the group therapy scene, I was excited that this could potentially be a formula bender, having it take place entirely in Arkham Asylum and focusing on Wesker's recovery process. But then I remembered this is The Batman, so yeah. Also I HATE Snooty's design!)
31. RPM - 2/5 (Wow, after seeing this, I immediately went out and bought The Batman Batmobile #2 with working lights & sounds, firing disc launcher and opening cockpit! No, but really, did I actually just watch a toy commercial for 20 minutes? I get that that's where action cartoons make their profit, and that's fine, but this was so blatant it's not even funny. Like that scene of Batman arriving in his new CGI Batmobile as the camera spins around it. Give me a break. Not to imply the writers were being hacky or anything. It was clearly an executive mandate. They just wrote a lame episode around it. Gearhead wasn't very interesting, although it's cool he was voiced by Will Friedle I guess. And the episode is just about cars, a subject I do not find interesting. I did laugh at Barbara asking Gordon "taking the car?" and he just opens the door and stares at her.)
32. Brawn - 4/5 (At this point they should rename the series "The Batgirl" since most episodes now put her in the main role, having to save Batman's butt. Not a complaint, it's a nice change of pace from the repetitive Batman Stops Villain:tm: plots. This episode is pretty darn good though, which is surprising since it's really nothing but a long fight scene. Most of it consecutively takes place in real time on one street street as they duke it out. You'd think that would get boring, but Bane-ified Joker is a cool enough concept to genuinely carry enough entertainment value on its own. And Batgirl using the Batbot was fun.)
33. The Laughing Cats - 4/5 (Two Joker episodes in a row? Also a Catwoman episode, which... Yeah, Joker being in it was obviously an improvement. Making her team up with Batman to stop Joker was more interesting than had it been about Batman stopping another one of her generic jewel thefts. Them being stuck in a maze with Joker using their gadgets was fun, and I liked that his hyenas were not loyal to him at all, LOL. As a side note, Kilgore Steed's hunter schtick makes NO sense. Capturing animals to put them in a giant maze full of traps that will just automatically kill them is not much of a "hunt".)
34. Fleurs du Mal - 3/5 (I guess the show isn't going to acknowledge any drama between Barbara and Poison Ivy and she's immediately relegated to stock villain who does her villainous schtick and gets defeated? Clayface all over again. It also wasn't much of a mystery who the villain could be since it literally begins with the mayor being taken over by flowers. The characters themselves uncovering the mystery and battling the plant replicas was neat enough, so whatever. And Batman punching an old lady was funny. I don't understand why Poison Ivy replaced Penguin, though. She's replacing the people who control Gotham, and he's a washed up nobody who's lost his fortune. Also, Batman is lucky he only fought the plant replica or he would have killed Penguin. He fell right into spinning blades which clearly shredded him... Although he's still intact when they land, so I guess logic took a break for this scene. Side note, the show is getting WAY too reliant on ending with a zoomout of Batman and Batgirl as she makes some snappy comment.)
35. Cash for Toys - 2/5 (So Cash can return but not Yin? There is no justice in this world. He wasn't funny in his first appearance, and he's...slightly less unfunny here. So yeah. Add a straight up Toyman ripoff instead of just Toyman, for some reason, and you get a pretty lame episode. I get that he's a Superman villain, but the series didn't have a problem using Solomon Grundy, so Toyman shouldn't have been off the table. You could assume they just embargo'd him because he made cameos, albeit speechless, in JLU. But then, Grundy was the main focus of a JLU episode less than a year before Grundy's Night, so this doesn't add up! Not that Krank being called Toyman would make a difference, because I still wouldn't like him. So, YEAH.)
36. The Apprentice - 4/5 (Joker getting a sidekick is definitely a fun idea, and while I obviously liked this episode, it plays out exactly how you'd expect. I liked how wholesome Joker was to Donnie at first when he was brainstorming ideas and then turned grim when Donnie didn't want to hurt people. It definitely adds at least one more layer than the average Joker Shenanigans:tm: episode. You can definitely feel how genuinely scary it would be to simply be around this lunatic, especially if he has it out for you. Also, Donnie's jokes probably doesn't get laughs because he's in high school doing kindergarten tier jokes.)
37. Thunder - 3/5 (It's Maxie Zeus, the most iconic DC character of all time, doing his typical Olympus schtick. Yeah, so, the episode isn't really about him. His scheme is just a setup to show how well Batgirl can carry herself. And in that aspect, I do find it fun. It's a bit dumb that she yaps to Batman about how she wants to be in the loop though, as if she isn't just Batgirling of her own accord. He never agreed to be a team, she just stalks him. Side note, Gordon sternly correcting Grange with "batarang" made me chuckle.)
38. The Icy Depths - 4/5 (Despite being the umpteenth episode about stealing jewels, this was refreshing due to presenting it more as an actual mystery and having two villains, alongside Alfred and his old chum, trying to uncover it. It was fun how they all got the upper hand on one another, and I always like Alfred being involved in an adventure. I don't understand why Batman even needs to stop this "crime", though. The treasure doesn't belong to anyone anymore. And if it DOES rightfully belong to someone, that would be Penguin. What was up with a random rotating shot of the boat here though?)
39. Gotham's Ultimate Criminal Mastermind - 3/5 (Mr. Freeze's Arkham number is 800B5. I bet they thought they were really funny with that one. Unlike the previous BTAS ripoff episodes, this was only vaguely a ripoff of Heart of Steel, so I'll cut it some slack. But it's pretty thin. D.A.V.E. is just super smart and wants to defeat Batman, then Batman wins by just telling him something that does not compute. I guess it's neat that they finally built on those vague hints about Hugo Strange being "evil". It's just a shame the antagonist is merely his robot, not actually him. And why does he get locked in Arkham after being caught? He's not insane.)
40. A Matter of Family - 3/5 (Who sharpened Bruce's jaw?! Also, Mark Hamill and Kevin Conroy. As for the actual episode, I was underwhelmed. It's a pretty straightforward telling of Robin's origin story, but it rushes the emotional moments and doesn't let them get too "heavy", which makes them less effective. Zucco is a pretty upfront mustache-twirling villain instead of a mysterious figure, and they don't really acknowledge how devastating such an event would be, or the awkwardness of immediately being adopted by a rando. Dick just gets some watery eyes then he's instantly comfortable at Wayne Manor. But I liked tying "Robin" into something his mom used to call him. Batman speaks with a much deeper voice in this episode. Must've come with the new jaw.)
41. Team Penguin - 4/5 (Did it really take seeing teamwork in a movie for Penguin spawn the brilliantly unique plan of "more villains = harder for Batman"? This was a fun teamup, though. I'm glad they didn't go for the obvious choices like Joker, Mr. Freeze, Riddler etc and instead opted for the "misfits". Croc is the only one of the group I didn't care for. But I liked seeing Ragdoll again, and Killer Moth was pretty funny. I liked that he remained a suckup even after being horribly mutated. I liked the theme of teamwork the episode had, since it ties nicely together with the valid jealousy Barbara would have for some rando in red becoming Batman's sidekick and knowing his identity when she has been wanting that for ages. Also, Robin immediately wailing on Penguin for calling him a lackey made me laugh.)
42. Clayfaces - 4/5 (Nice to see my buddy Bennett again. Guess they wanted to redeem themselves after the nonsense they pulled with Grundy's Night. But given this is his last appearance, this was a pretty unsatisfying "arc". Him going full-blown villain didn't make sense from the start. His desire to take revenge on Joker I get, but aside from that, it shouldn't have taken him THIS long to realize he should use his powers for good instead. Basil Karlo wasn't a super compelling character or anything, but him being an ugly dweeb was quite funny, and the spectacle of two Clayfaces duking it out more than makes up for it, because that was pretty awesome. Side note, why is this company so picky with who they cast in their fricking dog food commercial? It's dog food. Just show dogs.)
43. The Everywhere Man - 3/5 (I like the concept of the Everywhere Man, but was disappointed at how little they truly utilized it for story/action potential. The first half is just a mystery where you're supposed to think it's two guys (provided you did not read the episode title), then Johnny just expositions how his powers work and Batman fights a bunch of copies. The villain himself being a copy is a cool twist, but it would've been more interesting if the copies mostly worked as a hivemind and they utilized that to make fighting them really hard for Batman since they'd be such a perfectly synchronized army. The episode wrapping itself around some girl saying Johnny was cuter as a nerd, and then the real Johnny getting the girl in the end was so random it's almost hilarious.)
44. The Breakout - 4/5 (Black Mask being in this episode is pretty neat, as he is a fairly well-known character who, despite that, doesn't seem to appear in animation a lot. That said, he was not very compelling. He's just a stern, no-nonsense mob boss. Which for the plot of this episode is all he needs to be, so I won't give him flack for that. It's a fun change of pace to have a mostly Batman-free episode with focus on his sidekicks instead. Batgirl and Robin have a pretty charming dynamic; I liked when they guessed what Black Mask's face looks like and he got pissed off. LOL. And it was interesting how it's sort of a bottle episode, with most of it taking place within the police station as they try to prevent Black Mask's militia from breaking in. Batman ending the episode by telling them to wash the Batmobile was a certified LOL.)
45. Strange New World - 5/5 (This was great. I really like Hugo Strange, so it's fun to actually see his sinister side now that he's been outed as a villain. And while at first it felt mostly like a standard zombie story, the dramaic tone and hellish visuals, alongside the crazy ways the zombies jump around, made the whole thing a pleasure to look at. But the twist is what really got me. I didn't put it all together myself until right as Batman was figuring it out, and it really made all the scenes of him fighting zombie Batgirl/Robin/Gordon amusing to think about in retrospect. That said, isn't this a Scarecrow-tier scheme? I guess since he couldn't be in this show they just gave it to Strange.)
46. Artifacts - 3/5 (For an entire episode set in the future, I was expecting more than just the spectacle of a generic Mr. Freeze battle. But that's really all there is to it. That said, I liked the W I D E Batman design. I know it's an homage to The Dark Knight Returns, but I've never seen or read that, so yeah. Mr. Freeze blatantly saying that title after seeing the Batman was so funny, though. It works contextually, but when you know the reference it felt no different than if he had said "Batman: The Animated Series". LOL. I see Barbara will go the Oracle route in this show. Sad. Also, they can blatantly reference Bennett and Yin, but refuse to show them any further regardless? Screw. You.)
47. Seconds - 4/5 (The Batman's take on Clock King? He's not officially named as such, but it's pretty much a Cosmo Krank/Toyman situation again. I found his time travel abilities fairly interesting, as it was fun to see some random schmuck effortlessly upstage Batman. HOW he got those powers though... He got bored in prison and was surrounded by clocks, so one day he could shift time. What? Also Batman has an atomic clock that is not affected by time literally shifting backwards. What?? Yeah, so, this episode has a lot of "okay buddy" moments. But really, they just added to the fun. If you're gonna be nonsensical, might as well go all in. And that ending really caught me off guard. Imagine reliving 17 years of your life like that, only to still end up a fricking clock repairman. He really couldn't have invested in stocks he knew would have gone up?)
48. Riddler's Revenge - 4/5 (I certainly wasn't expecting this series to try and pull off an emotional Riddler episode. One that actually works, no less. But here we are. It's not the deepest thing in the world, but I thought seeing his origin handled this "seriously" was an fun take, and it was interesting that his own origin was a "riddle" that he got wrong. Wrapping the origin around him and Batman being trapped in a crate was pretty clever. Although after unwrapping his entire life story to Batman, I would've thought he would be a little less hostile towards him after they escape. But no, he just goes back to being evil. I liked Batman's final line though. "When is a villain, not THE villain?".)
49. Two of a Kind - 4/5 (They got Paul Dini in just to write the Harley episode. It's pretty good, though. The different take from Mad Love is amusing to see. I think showing Harleen as a loudly outspoken ditz makes her descent into jester-themed criminal more believable. Especially since they directly give her a personal vendetta to push the criminal aspect further. But since this episode is mostly banking on showcasing the "unique take", it's hard to look at it past comparisons. Without them, it's sort of just The Apprentice but with Harley instead of Donnie. But Harley is funnier, and generally I liked all the zany stuff she and Joker gets into, so this is the better "Joker gets a sidekick" episode. Plus, it has a whole ass Joker musical number.)
50. Rumors - 3/5 (The Batman's take on... Lock-Up? Okay, not really, but the similarities did cross my mind. The premise here is pretty basic. Rumor was not a very thrilling antagonist or anything. He's some generic guy who works for another generic guy, who's just a red herring because he blames being a cripple on Batman. Really, the spectacle of Batman fighting all his past villains in the final scene is the best part of the episode. Although I'm confused why some of them are even there and in costume. Cluemaster only had one goal, why would he still be Cluemastering? And is Spellbinder really Gotham based? How did Rumor even capture him? He's a psychic! And Harley Quinn literally JUST became a villain. I liked Penguin begging Batman to stop him, though. LOL.)
51/52. The Joining - 4/5 (Oh geez, it's Martian Kronkhunter. Couldn't Patrick Warburton voice him instead of Cash Tankinson? I liked the way he casually outs knowing Batman's identity. But on that note, they sure talk about that in public a LOT here. Including the aforementioned scene, both Robin and Bruce himself yaps out "Bruce Wayne is Batman" on two separate occasions. Robin says it in a crowded street, Bruce in a small diner. Yeah, I'm sure absolutely NO ONE within the vicinity could have possibly heard those things. It's not like Bruce and J'onn are having a lengthy conversation about it right where the waitress, chef, and any potential surrounding customers could hear it or anything.
This was a pretty basic alien invasion story, and it's quite a leap in stakes compared to the usual jewel thievery. But I liked the usage of Martian Manhunter. I thought he and Batman had an interesting chemistry. Their initial fight scene was so stupid, though. "Oh no, the Batman discovered I'm an alien. Better not explain anything and instead just beat him up and run away until he catches up and then say I'm on his side". I thought the emotional anchor of Batgirl and Robin feeling unwanted was a bit undercooked, but the moment when Batman says he worries about losing them was sweet, so whatever. And I liked the scene of the villains helping the police fend off aliens.)
53/54. The Batman / Superman Story - 3/5 (With the show finally being allowed to bring in more expansive DC lore, the first thing they make is the most generic Superman story they could think of. Yeah, okay. I liked the way Batman discovered Superman's identity, and seeing the villains of Gotham take him down was fun. But a whole episode just for that that setup, with the second being a prolonged Batman vs. Superman fight scene and then stopping Lex Luthor from doing something evil? Yeah, I didn't really jive with it. Also, with literally ALL of the sky available, did Superman really just fly right into Robin? AND ignored it? Not very boyscout-y.)
55. Vertigo - 3/5 (This was decent, but it mostly thrives off of the novelty of being a Green Arrow crossover as opposed to being an organic Batman story. In fact this would have been improved by cutting out Batman entirely. I liked seeing Green Arrow's origin, and they could've explored his attempt to take revenge on Vertigo and such on his own. And while he DOES do that here, since it's a Batman show, most of it is from Batman's perspective as Green Arrow recaps his story. So, ultimately, they should just make The Green Arrow.)
56. White Heat - 4/5 (Neat revamp of Firefly. He was never a particularly compelling character, but the fact that he was already established in this show makes his descent from petty thief to molten monster in this more compelling by default than had this been his first episode a la Killer Moth or something. And with the inclusion of his girlfriend, it had some genuine emotion. Not a tearjerker or anything, but his last appearance being his girlfriend dumping him and walking away as he's stuck in a pitch black prison cell with him still faintly glowing in the dark is pretty bleak. So the fact that they managed to get all of that out of an episode that can be summed up to "Batman stops molten villain cause he's too hot" is impressive. The battle at the power plant itself was pretty awesome though. But Bruce is really risking his identity fighting with half his face exposed like that.)
57. A Mirror Darkly - 3/5 (Just like the Superman episode, the writers barely do anything to justify its existence besides thinking I should be thrilled by the mere presence of Flash. Well, when the plot is as generic as one of Flash's iconic rogues coming to Gotham to be evil so Flash stops him and Batman helps because it's a Batman show... I'm not. And just like Superman again, Flash didn't leave much of an impression of me. Adding the trait that he talks incredibly fast was amusing, I suppose.)
58. Joker Express - 3/5 (I would have thought with free reign to utilize all of DC lore, this show would be over their generic Joker Scheme:tm: episodes. Guess not. There's literally nothing to be said about this one that hasn't been said about the others, though. Batgirl being infected with Joker's laugh was definitely a very enjoyable scene. But after that, it's as predictable as Topsy Turvy, JTV or The Apprentice.)
59. Ring Toss - 3/5 (Green Lantern. I wonder what fresh, unique plot The Batman crew will conjure up for this one. Oh, Sinestro comes to attack Hal Jordan, but Hal wins. And Batman helps in between, because it's a Batman show. Starting to sound like a broken record here, but that's how unimaginative these episodes really are. It's competent, but it's pretty much shut-your-brain-off-and-enjoy-the-action tier. This one does have the middle part of Penguin with a power ring, which was genuinely gold stuff. The only problem is, it doesn't last for long enough, and ultimately Penguin's inclusion is really just time filler in between Sinestro being defeated.
60. The Metal Face of Comedy - 4/5 (Let me get this straight, Joker is digitally copied by wearing a helmet connected to a laptop while getting shocked? On top of the common trope of cartoon writers not understanding how video games work, logic is clearly not this episode's strong suit. The phrase "mentally download money" pretty much speaks for itself. Regardless, the prospect of Joker vs. Joker is fun enough alone. All the wacky antics Joker 2.0 is able to get into with his morphic abilities were visually fun. It's especially amusing to see the real Joker completely discombobulated by being upstaged and betrayed by, well, himself. Even cheering on for Batman to win.)
61. Attack of the Terrible Trio - 3/5 (The Terrible Trio were fun as a group of misfits, but it's pretty laughable how these college students are being bullied like it's middle school. Also do they really expect me to believe the hot, edgy chick is considered a loser? Jake is the only loser here. It's cool that this show actually had them transform into animals, even if the designs are little...awkward. It's also neat that they gave them a connection to Barbara's personal life, but at the same time it's disappointing that they didn't put Batgirl in a bigger role because of it. Batman's still the one saving the day. Also I was a little disappointing David's final transformation wasn't any more creative than just a griffin. As a side note, it's nice that this closes the door on Langstrom's Man-Bat arc.)
62. The End of the Batman - 3/5 (Fake title, there's three more episodes. The idea of an Anti-Batman and Robin is pretty fun. Wrath served as an entertaining foil to Batman what with figuring out his identity and everything. I think the ending is a little cheap, though. Joker uses his smile-gas so much, you'd think there would be a common antidote by now. Not like Wrath and Scorn are gonna be like that for the rest of their lives. Also a portion of this episode is pretty reminiscent of Team Penguin. Something which they even acknowledge themselves. But just because they point it out doesn't make it not true! Joker being annoyed by being put on menial tasks was funny though.)
63. What Goes Up... - 4/5 (Same as the previous Justice League members, Hawkman didn't leave much of an impression on me. But this time it doesn't matter as much because the episode doesn't put half the spotlight on him. It's mostly focused on Batman stopping Black Mask's, a villain whom I already thought should be utilized more, scheme. Which is stealing a whole building! I mean how cool of an action setpiece isn't an airborne building? On top of Robin being nth metal'd, it was a very fun watch. Really, Hawkman and Shadow Thief feel more like afterthoughts. But even that isn't a bad thing, because they had very enjoyable action scenes. And geez, poor Number One #2.)
64/65. Lost Heroes - 4/5 (Oh, the actual Toyman appears in this show. "Toyman" my ass, that's a damn Jester. Cosmo Krank is more of a Toyman than you will ever be, bud. This episode is pretty fun, if only because I think the narrative of non-superpowered heroes proving their capabilities and humbling the heroes with superpowers when they can't use theirs is amusing. Batman and Green Arrow as a duo was good, and everybody fighting their robot counterparts was cool. I think the robots had pretty rad designs. The only "bad" aspects of the episode is rehashing The Joining as the threat again, and Hugo Strange's inclusion. Not that I don't like him, I think he's a great villain. But this wasn't really a story fitting for him. He's better working from the shadows with the intent of studying the behavior of his victim, not just being a pawn to some alien robot.)

16-minute read.

the AM-AZ border delimitation in Tavush is drawn with 1976 maps; village Kirants gains access to lands unreachable since the 1990s; loses 4 properties

On May 15 the border commissions of Armenia and Azerbaijan held a meeting to discuss the continuation of the Tavush-Gazakh delimitation. They confirmed the completed work and agreed to continue.
The statement says that parties are using the 1976 maps by Soviet CoGS [the one that Armenia wanted].
A Protocol was signed on the meeting results. The sides agreed to set the date and the place of the next meeting of the Commissions.
REPORTER: What does this mean?
PASHINYAN OFFICE: The commissions had installed several border posts to locate the coordinates on the ground. These coordinates were taken from the 1976 maps. Now the cartographers have agreed on the border lines between the posts, again based on the same maps. In other words, the reproduction of the border in these areas is complete and signed, and the border is considered delimited in these sections.
REPORTER: Why the 1976 maps?
PASHINYAN OFFICE: It's the map with de jure power at the time of the collapse of the USSR. The Armenian government announced that we were not drawing a new border, but rather reproducing the existing border at the time of the collapse of the USSR.
REPORTER: The commissions' statement says that these 1976 maps went through legal procedures in 1979. What does it mean, and why didn't we use the 1990 maps?
PASHINYAN OFFICE: In 1979 the relevant USSR authority verified the 1976 maps and their legal basis. These maps were used until the collapse of USSR. These are the most recent maps verified by authorized state agencies of USSR.
REPORTER: Not all border posts have been installed in the convoluted section of Kirants. How will this be resolved? Will you build new roads or houses?
PASHINYAN OFFICE: The 3 remaining coordinates of Kirants were pinpointed with the use of a computer and the border posts will be installed later. The rest [another 8 posts in Kirants] are already there. The good news for Kirants is that around 25 hectares of land that have been unreachable for 33 years will be returned to the village. The border resembles the 1976 line. As we said earlier, yes, there is a need to build a bypass road, which can be accomplished in 2-3 months. We will also rebuild the road between H-26 and Acharkut and Kirants, which is an alternative road for Kirants. As for property issues, the volumes are small and the government will compensate in such situations.
REPORTER: What about Baghanis, Berkaber, and Voskepar?
PASHINYAN OFFICE: The most sensitive topic in Voskepar was the fate of the church, and on the Voskepar-Baghanis section, it was the Soviet-era road. Both issues received the best resolution: the road is fully within Armenia and so is the church, and the border line is quite far from the road and the church. As for Berkaber, there were no such sensitive topics.
REPORTER: When will the sides deploy border guards?
PASHINYAN OFFICE: Within 8-9 days, and a bit later in the 3 sensitive areas of Kirants after further clarifications. //
On Thursday, PM Nikol Pashinyan spoke about the May 15 border commission.
PASHINYAN: This is a major success for two reasons: (1) A very important cornerstone was placed for the future development of Armenia as an independent and sovereign state, (2) for the first time since independence, we have an officially delimited border, which will significantly increase the level of stability and security in that section and along the entire border. I'd like to thank the border commission leader Deputy PM Mher Grigoryan and all members, and every member of the National Security Council.
I'll provide further details. As you recall from the May 15 statement, it says the borders are delimited based on the 1976 maps that underwent the legal procedures in 1979. As you know, our principle was to reproduce the existing border with de jure power instead of drawing a new one. To accomplish this, we made a reference to the 1991 Almaty Declaration in the April 19 agreement, and it became the basis for the entire delimitation process. On May 15 we specified the 1976 maps; these are the most up-to-date USSR maps with de jure power.
In USSR, a map could be granted a de jure power by a special state agency that collected maps and legal processes and verified their accuracy and legitimacy before confirming the administrative border of Soviet republics. In the area where these delimitations are taking place, in 1979 this USSR state agency verified the 1976 map and it's the most recent map with de jure power.
This was a very important principle for us. We must accept wherever this border passes through. If we chose to draw new borders, that would create a ground for future military conflicts and escalations. The ongoing process, which should not be underestimated or overestimated, abides by the principle of adhering to the legal border and significantly reduces or eliminates possible escalations. This agreement was a major success.
Berkaber: there were no issues here.
Baghanis & Voskepar: at first we thought that some issues could arise here, around the church and, as the locals say, the "old road". If you've ever been there you have seen this road sign, when you pass Baghanis, the sign warns you that the road is being observed [under Azeri scope] and it was not advised to use this road during tense periods. Now, as a result of border delimitation, this road is not only confirmed within Armenia, but it will be safer for travel as a result of the new circumstances [border guards replacing the militarized armed forces, less dispute = less conflicts]. As for the church, we don't have a problem here because the border passes significantly further away from it.
So to recap, we recorded no problems in Berkaber, Baghanis, and Voskepar because we chose to follow the de jure border line and we did so. Following this principle is also why we will have certain problems in Kirants because we don't want to draw an entirely new border. We must use this principle for the entire AM-AZ border, with no exceptions. Not only we are creating a precedence for delimitation, but also a formula to be used for the future entire delimitation process and to make it predictable. If parties decide to make mutual concessions in certain areas, we could discuss the launch of legislative processes to authorize them, but for now, we have agreed on a principle to be used for the entire AM-AZ border. On each section of the border, we will use the most recent USSR maps that hold de jure power.
MHER GRIGORYAN: On May 15 the border commissions also discussed the Regulation and it appears we have an agreement to reflect these principles in the Regulation. Efforts are underway to prepare the Regulation. Azerbaijan wants to continue the border delimitation with the same framework and algorithm used thus far.
PASHINYAN: We should implement the reached agreements in full within 8-10 days. The border guards were deployed in Baghanis-Voskepar around 10 days ago. They were deployed alongside the installation of the white border markers. They are currently studying the terrain to launch the permanent service there. The same will be done in other sections.
source, source, source, source, video,

the list of properties that fall under the Azeri side of the border in Kirants after the delimitation of the 3 problematic sections

1 house, 1 lodging, 1 trailer-shop that doesn't operate, and 1 garage. The government plans to compensate for them and will build a new section of this road that passes fully through Armenia.
source, source, see the map here,

opposition MP from ARF/Kocharyan faction got fed up with protesters' road blocks in Tavush villages

Gegham Nazaryan, a father of a fallen soldier and an opposition MP who - unlike his colleagues - doesn't always engage in toxic exchanges with the ruling party, decided to visit the border village Kirants, where he asked the road blockers to open it.
He engaged in an argument with a protester from another region who came to Kirants to block the road. The MP complained that blocking the road is what Azeris would want.
The MP also engaged with an activist-reporter from an opposition outlet who was covering the road blockings. The MP accused the reporter of "having bad intentions" and of "manipulations". The activist-reporter accused the MP of having secret ties with Pashinyan during an intense yelling match. "Great speech. You call yourself a journalist?", rhetorically asked the opposition MP.
ARF leaders responded saying their MP was not speaking/acting on behalf of the party.
STYOPA SAFARYAN (pro-West figure): MP Gegham Nazaryan also senses that some forces are attempting to carry out Artsakh 2.0 in Armenia by attempting to derail the border delimitation process. //
In related news. The protesters pressured the mayor of Kirants who gave an interview last week and admitted that the delimitation went much better than he expected. On Thursday he offered to resign from his position during a confrontation with an opposition media outlet reporter who was unhappy about the mayor's positive portrayal of the delimitation process.
longer video, video, video, video, source, source,

Armenian government approves a $2 billion permanent housing assistance program for Nagorno-Karabakh refugees; rollout in stages

SOCIAL MINISTRY: We need to provide long-term housing to allow the forcefully displaced persons to socially and economically integrate into Armenia. The program has three components: (1) Obtaining a house or an apartment with a subsidy, (2) building a house with a subsidy, (3) subsidizing the mortgage if the refugee has already purchased a house.

... The size of the subsidy varies depending on the geographical location and the size of the family

(1) ֏5 million ($12,900) per family member to obtain housing in one of the 242 towns or villages.
(2) ֏4 million ($10,300) per family member to obtain housing in one of 148 towns or villages.
(3) ֏3 million ($7,700) per family member for all other settlements except Yerevan's 1st and 2nd Zones.
(4) and ֏2 million ($5,200) if you already have a mortgage.

... Conditions to qualify

(a) Families forcefully displaced after 27 September 2020.
(b) Refugees who accept Armenian citizenship.
(c) The living space cannot be smaller than 12 m² per family member.
(d) The property's value cannot exceed ֏55 million ($141,000).

... If you buy a house cheaper than the subsidy amount, you can use the remaining balance to...

(1) buy agricultural land worth up to ֏5 million
(2) renovate the newly purchased house if necessary, worth up to ֏4 million
(3) buy furniture and appliances, up to ֏2 million

... Which forcefully displaced families do NOT qualify?

(a) If they are already a recipient of another housing program that began immediately after the 2020 war.
(b) If one of the family members owned a house or apartment in Armenia as of 2023-09-19 or at the time of application.

... Conditions if you want to receive aid to build your own house

(a) Select one of the preapproved projects/plans.
(b) The construction company must be licensed in Armenia.

... The assistance will stop if

(a) If two family members under the age of 55 are absent from Armenia for >180 days per year unless they leave Armenia to receive education in one of the top 400 international universities, aviation training, or military training.

... The housing assistance will roll out in phases

The first phase will include families with 3 or more children if they want an apartment or 2+ children if they want a house, low-income families, those who already have a mortgage, families who lost a member in war, and creditworthy families who can take out a separate loan amounting 50% of the assistance size.
The second phase, starting 2026-01-01, will include families with 2 children if they want an apartment or families with 1 child if they want a house.
The third phase, starting 2027-01-01, will include everyone else.

... PM Pashinyan about the refugee housing program

PASHINYAN: The working group has done a lot of work to get here, thank you. Spread the word so people will know the details of this assistance program. No one should be forced to visit or call an office to receive basic details.
We have decided not to adopt a "flat" approach; the amount of aid increases based on the family size and the location of the house. We had to exclude the [expensive and crowded] central parts of Yerevan. We also have to ensure a proportional load on the educational facilities.
If the refugee has an active mortgage loan taken in Armenia, let's say taken in 2016, each family member will receive ֏2 million towards that mortgage. So if you have a family of 6 [Nagorno-Karabakh families are often larger than Armenia-based families], you receive $31,000 to pay off your mortgage.
On the other hand, our brothers and sisters from Nagorno-Karabakh who are well-off and already own a house without an outstanding mortgage balance, won't receive assistance because the goal of this program is to help those who don't have a house.

... How much will this cost?

FINANCE MINISTER: There will be up to 25,000 recipient families, and if we use the averages, it amounts to [voice is starting to crackle] ֏500 billion ($1.3 billion) for the housing costs alone. There will be additional expenses associated with this program. Every year, for the next 10-12 years, we will confirm the annual expenditures. So the overall costs will amount to ֏700-800 billion.
PASHINYAN: So that's roughly a $2 billion investment program in Armenia. Also, by becoming citizens of Armenia to take advantage of this housing program, the refugees won't lose any refugee rights or privileges, and they will not lose the ongoing monthly cash [40+10] assistance programs.
FINANCE MINISTER: We have launched a new line in the migration services to handle the expected uptick in applications in the coming months so people won't face long lines. The passport departments in provinces will begin to handle citizenship applications just for refugees; today this is only possible in Yerevan.
video,

EU's EBRD and US's USAID to develop connectivity in the South Caucasus

During the EBRD forum held in Yerevan, the two signed a Memorandum of Understanding to develop the Trans-Caspian International Transport Route, also known as the Middle Corridor, to further enhance connectivity between Asia and Europe via the South Caucasus.
It's about expanding trade, green energy, investment, as well as transport and digital infrastructure in Armenia, Azerbaijan, and Georgia.

The MoU seeks to enhance the planning, design and construction of critical energy, transport, digital and agricultural infrastructure in the region. It also aims to: improve the efficiency of customs, tariff and border operations; attract private capital investment into the South Caucasus economies for the development of the Middle Corridor; and adopt the highest international standards to promote economic connectivity with Europe and among South Caucasus countries.

source,

other EBRD projects were announced

source,

Lake Sevan is back to 2021 levels after the heavy precipitation in May: VIDEO

OFFICIAL: As of May, the level was 1900.46, which is 2 cm higher than the 2021 mark and 29 cm higher than January 1.
2021 was a harmful year for Sevan because of unprecedented heat waves. In June 2021 there was an evaporation of 153M m³ water, which was a historical high, while the precipitation on the surface was only 4.8M m^3, which was 4x lower than the previous historical low [WTF?]. Also, the river flow was at 40%. As a result of all this, instead of the usual 7 cm increase for June, we observed a 10 cm decline.
This year the conditions have been much better. We are finally back to the May 2021 levels. The rains filled it up from above, and the Arpa-Sevan tunnel from below the rocks. This tunnel has already brought 89M m³ this year, which is 2x more than last year.
Another contributing factor is the reduced reliance on Sevan for irrigation because the agricultural fields are still wet. Last year we had to tap into Sevan starting May 14. This year the government hasn't even summoned a meeting to authorize a release of water.
The 5 largest reservoirs currently hold 605M m^3, up by 240M. Only the Aparan reservoir is lacking. In Ketchut reservoir the water is above the famous "flowers" (margaritka). This is the first time in 5 years that the water is above the margaritkas. When the water rises above margaritkas, it drops down and flows into Lake Sevan. Overall, 90% of the water entering Sevan is wasted by evaporation.
REPORTER: Rains will return starting May 22.
video,

EBRD will provide $10 million to finance the Armenian private sector’s investments in growth, competitiveness, and greener and more sustainable practices

upgrading their production facilities and processes to EU standards. At least 70 per cent of the loans will go to support the green transition. Borrowers will receive incentive grants and technical advice funded by the European Union

source,

anti-corruption: former MP from Gagik Tsarukyan's BHK party is arrested under the suspicion of defrauding several homebuyers through real estate machinations

AUTHORITIES: Ex-MP Aragats Akhoyan's construction companies collected ֏274 million from several prospective apartment buyers in 2010-2014. He pocketed the funds.
source, source, video,

Armenia signs Council of Europe's Bioethics Convention

The Oviedo Convention is the only international legal instrument that defines the principles for the protection of human rights in the field of medicine and biological medicine.
FM Mirzoyan met Marija Burić on Thursday in Strasbourg to sign it.
source,

Armenia will open an embassy in Cyprus

Currently, Armenia’s Ambassador to Greece also serves as Ambassador to Cyprus. The seat of the Cypriot Embassy in Armenia is in Moscow.
In March Cyprus said it would open an embassy in Yerevan.
source,

Belarus leader Lukashenko suggests he and Ilham Aliyev discussed the 2020 war before it began

Lukashenko is in Baku to strengthen the strategic AZ-BY relations.
LUKASHENKO: We are brothers and we have a common vision of the world and where it's headed. I remember our conversation before the 2020 war, your liberation war, when we had a philosophical debate at a dinner table. At the time we came to the conclusion that it's possible to win the war. That's important. It's very important to preserve that victory. I also agreed with you at the time that the most difficult period would come after the liberation of the lands. Today is that difficult period when we have to revive those lands and return people, while others will born there. It'll be difficult to revive these lands in 5-10 years; it requires extensive work. Belarus is ready to help Azerbaijan. //
Nikol should have greeted Putin at the airport to avoid the war.
source,

Luxembourg lawmakers urge government to act for implementation of World Court orders by Azerbaijan

Deputies have unanimously adopted a motion asking the government to act for the implementation of the ICC orders by Azerbaijan.
The MPs urge to demand from Azerbaijan an immediate release of all Armenian prisoners of war, support peace between Armenia and Azerbaijan, expand the partnership between Armenia and EU, support the normalization of relations between Armenia and Turkey, deepen the diplomatic relations between Armenia and Luxembourg.
source,

ranking member of Armenia's ruling party about EU membership

The MP Khandanyan says Pashinyan has already announced that Armenia wants to deepen ties with the EU as much as possible and that how soon Armenia submits a bid to become an EU candidate will depend on the signals coming from the EU. In general, today the EU is not ready to expand because some EU members oppose it, said Khandanyan. When the EU sends a signal that it's ready, Armenia will "accelerate" the steps, said Khandanyan, adding that Armenia itself has already sent that "signal" that it wants closer integration with the EU.
But first, Khandanyan says Armenia must improve its resilience because the transitional phase will be full of risks. Armenia expects the EU's assistance to improve the resilience [reduce reliance on Russia].
source,

Բրյուսելի հանդիպման արդյունքներով ԵՄ-ն կշարունակի նպաստել ՀՀ տնտեսական զարգացմանը

PM Pashinyan hosted EU's Trade Commissioner Valdis Dombrovskis to discuss the implementation of the economic agreements reached on April 5 in Brussels to improve Armenia's resilience.
Pashinyan also called for the EU's assistance in implementing the refugee housing program adopted by the Government this morning.
The EU Trade Commissioner said the EU will continue to assist Armenia's development, including in the areas of energy, infrastructure, diversification of markets, implementation of higher standards, improvement of business environment, etc.
source, other meeting, other meeting,

U.S. Ambassador Kvien is "optimistic about the opportunities offered by Armenia to U.S. and other foreign companies"

A meeting was held at the central bank building participated by Ambassador Kvien and other guests of the EBRD forum that's being held in Yerevan this year.
Ambassador Kvien also highlighted Armenia's high economic growth rate in recent years.
source,

Armenia's membership to EAEU is beneficial for Armenia: Moscow

DEPUTY FM of RUSSIA: I don't know what the Armenian leadership plans to do in the future, but EAEU is undoubtedly a mutually beneficial process. This is reflected in the economic growth figures of Armenia.
source,

Armenian government invites the head of Metsamor nuclear plant to join talks with European Commission officials

The infrastructure ministry and NPP chief met a delegation led by the European Commission's Deputy Director-General for International Cooperation and Development Marjeta Jager.
The European Commission official thanked for the invitation and welcomed the steps by the Armenian government towards the energy reforms in Armenia. They spoke about NPP's operation and future plans.
They discussed the exchange of experience and financial programs.
source,

Armenia and European Commission officials discussed the implementation of April 5 agreements reached in Brussels

The head of the European Commission's Neighbourhood and Enlargement Negotiations Adrienn Kiraly was hosted by foreign ministry on Thursday.
They discussed programs to improve Armenia's resilience under the April 5 agreement, the full implementation of CEPA and its expansion.
source,

Moscow released a somewhat misleading statement after the recent meeting between Pashinyan and Putin, according to National Security Council chief Armen Grigoryan

According to Grigoryan, Pashinyan did not "ask" Putin to maintain troops on the borders with Turkey and Iran. According to Grigoryan, Pashinyan asked Putin to remove the Russian guards from Yerevan's airport and AM-AZ border, and when Putin asked Pashinyan if he also wanted to remove them from TR and IR border, Pashinyan said "no", because those guards were installed under a different agreement. Context in Wednesday news digest.
Grigoryan also criticized Russia's attempts to stoke divisions between Armenia and Iran by presenting the EU observer mission as anti-Iranian. Grigoryan demanded Russia present evidence of the EU mission carrying out activities outside of their AM-AZ border monitoring mission. "Iran has already expressed its stance. I don't understand why Russia is attempting to use the EU's Monitoring Mission to cause issues," said Grigoryan.
source,

Armenia's NatSec chief Armen Grigoryan advised Russia to improve its own human rights conditions and freedom of speech before commenting on Armenia's internal affairs

Russia's foreign ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova recently complained about Armenian police using force to clear the roads blocked by pro-Russian party activists. Zakharova also complained that the West wasn't criticizing the Armenian government for it.
NatSec GRIGORYAN: Armenian protesters have been able to fully exercise their freedom of speech during legally organized rallies. Illegal actions are obviously countered by police. Perhaps Russia should first look at itself before criticizing us.
REPORTER: Look at what? Russia doesn't have opposition, how can they oppress something that doesn't exist?
ARMEN GRIGORYAN: Russia should discuss its own kitchen. The developments in Armenia are not related to Russia.... or are they? If these protests are tied to Russia, Moscow should directly say so. If Moscow sees a problem, they must say it directly, and not do so by dragging others like they did in the case of Iran and the EU Mission.
source,

during a meeting in Yerevan, Jordan's foreign ministry expressed concern over the attempted takeover of part of the Armenian district of Jerusalem

The Deputy FM of Jordan met his Armenian counterpart in Yerevan to discuss bilateral relations and regional issues. The parties criticized the attempts to change the status quo in Jerusalem.
source,

Pashinyan and Diaspora Office held a meeting about the iGorts professional repatriation program: VIDEO

source,

monkeys could soon become smarter than you

Are monkeys entering the stone age? Capuchin primates were filmed using tools to dig for food underground, days after an orangutan treated its own wound with plant.
The footage joins a growing number of studies looking into the tiny South American primate's use of stone and stick tools, an emerging field that some research universities now describe as 'documenting the Monkey Stone Age in real-time.'
video,

Triwt, Female Valis-Trobat Hybrid, Security Commander
Since the last pirate I left behind down the hallway choking on her own blood and unable to breathe, I haven’t slithered into any more hostiles. Considering that there’s only 26 pirates approximately left and the size of this expedition research vessel, it might be a few minutes before I see another one of them.
As I slither quickly with Jordan Cores in my lower arms, I can see that none of the other safe rooms have been located as of yet by the pirates which grants me some mental relief. I manage to slip into a med bay roughly 30 seconds later as I get Jordan Cores down on a table and begin some basic first aid to help the regeneration bay.
“Okay… let’s check out the big and obvious wound first.” I mutter to myself as I lift his head up slightly.
I inspect him closely, following the initial shot, which shows that he was shot in roughly the center of the jaw at a deviated angle to what would be his right side. Following the expected course of flight at that angle for a bolt, I found the true exit wound as the blood in the back of his head was from his collapse. The plasma bolt had left his head just under his ear, completely shattering and dislodging his jaw on the right side.
Tentacles aren’t good for aiming and holding guns it seems.
“Jordan Cores, you’re a lucky little thing.” I say as I grab a medical foam cannister and position the canister’s nozzle near his ear and begin spraying the canister into the wound to try and get some medical foaming gel in there to prevent further blood loss and to disinfect it. What happened next surprised me as he gurgled some of his blood as he took a deep breath and tried to sit up, but I carefully, and as gently as I could, slowly made him lay back down.
I thought he was out cold from the blood loss!
“Woah, careful there, I’m giving you first aid to help speed up the regeneration bay.”
He gurgles a little bit as he says, “Foosheps.”
“Foosheps?” I ask while pretty confused before I realize he means footsteps as I can hear the thudding of many footsteps drawing near. “Fuck, you mean footsteps!” I exclaim as I whip around and aim my PPMIs at the door just in time as 2 pirates approach the door. I shoot one through the neck while I shoot the other where I assume their heart is. Luckily for me, my assumption is correct as they fall over, holding onto their chest in a desperate attempt to cling onto life before they die, falling on top of their now suffocating ally who dropped their TOR pistol in pain.
“Fuck! I’m almost out of ammo!” I quickly slam the door shut and barricaded it with some cabinets and a chair.
I'll have to apologize to the nurse and doctor for messing up the med bay, but they'll understand. Hopefully.
How did they know where we are… Right the bug! Fuck, Jordan Cores has a chip on him so they’re all going to be focusing on us!
I rush over to Jordan Cores and turn his head side to side before I spot it. It’s cleverly hidden on the backside of his left ear and at a glance resembles a cultural accessory, but now that I can inspect it I can see that it’s faintly blinking as it broadcasts his location.
I give it a slight tug, to which I get a wince of slight pain from Jordan Cores, but otherwise he’s fine. Well despite all the blood and everything. Unfortunately, it appears to be connected to his skin tissue a bit more deeply than I would like.
Can’t knock him out, he might die if his heart becomes too relaxed and beats slowly. Maybe painkillers?
My thoughts are interrupted by thudding on the doors as the pirates try to barge in, so I return my attention to Jordan Cores.
“Please forgive me for what I’m about to do!” I say, sounding as sorry as I can before I grip onto the bug and rip it out, taking some of his skin with it. He lets out a pained yell before I apply pressure to his ear with some cloth from the first aid kit. “We don’t have time for painkillers to set in, but I had to get the bug off of you.” I explain as I destroy it with my free hand while I quickly shift Jordan Cores over to a Regen Bay.
“That hursh like a bish, but I can get over ish.” He says sloppily, slightly spitting some blood by accident, before the container cover goes down and suspends him in a stasis lock to preserve his life as the technology sets to work. For him, absolutely no time will have passed, but with these injuries, he’ll probably be in there for a few hours. At the very least, the first aid will probably mean he’s in there for 2 hours instead of 7 hours.
Now time for the main problem. I pull out my main data pad and access the camera system, pulling up the feed outside this med bay. 7 Pirates are outside and currently trying to knock down the door. I sigh and check my magazines for my PPMIs.
2 Bolts left, respectively… I can probably take out 4 if they bunch up and finish the remaining 3 with hand to hand combat if the odds are in my favor. I reckon I have 3 minutes before they break down the door, I think I’ll prepare for an ambush then. There’ll be 17 Pirates left once I get rid of them.
Cerelia, Altrin Female, Captain of The Opal Star
I sigh as I reload. Given that this safe room is compromised, I’ve been guarding it like a fierce mother protects her cubs from wild animals. I hear footsteps and a quick check of registered lifeforms on my wrist data pad, I confirm that it’s not my crew. The split second they round the corner, I lay into them with my BYR rifle, which I had custom made a while back to turn it into a fully automatic rifle instead of a burst. Limbs fly off followed by screams of pain and terror before it turns into a dying whimper.
I’m never going to be a slave again, and no one shall lay a single appendage on my crew!
The hallway is littered with about 12 pirates and 7 of my security guards from my quick count, including the two pirates I just shot up. I keep my aim locked down the hallway corridor, but after 15 seconds pass I sigh and lower my rifle. I look at my wrist data pad once more, and see that the only current unregistered lifeforms left in the ship are approaching a nearby med bay.
Well, one of those is Jordan. Probably the one inside the med bay.
I keep paying attention to the feed and see that the large registered lifeform is suddenly near the entrance to the Medbay from the inside, which means that Triwt probably ran out of ammo and is now going hand to hand.
Goddess give those pirates no mercy, even if they are to be at the ruthless death of Triwt’s melee combat prowess.
Triwt, Female Valis-Trobat Hybrid, Security Commander
I managed to position myself mostly against the ceiling above the doorway. I remain dead quiet as they break in through the door and barricade I set up. I watch them walk in beneath me as they slowly approach Jordan Cores in the Regen Core.
"Oi? This the thing the boss was tracking?"
"I think. Damn it's ugly."
"I dunno, if it wasn't all bloody and broken, I think it would be a cute pet."
"Whatever, you're just weird."
As they bicker the 7th pirate finally enters. Once they are fully inside, I drop down from the ceiling, pinning 3 beneath my body while I fire my last two shots into the two that were talking about Jordan Cores. I wasn't lucky enough to get a collateral shot, so I grab the knives off the pirates beneath me before slitting their throats quickly.
The remaining two pirates are now reacting to me, aiming their TORs as they’re about to shoot me. I quickly use my [snake] body to throw the bodies beneath me at them. They try dodging, and while only one does so successfully, it was still a successful enough of a distraction that I'm able to close the gap.
I ram a knife into the heart of the one who dodged as they posed a greater threat to me, while I wrapped my tail around the neck of the one who didn't dodge the bodies, suffocating them and forcing them to drop their weapon.
"Boys? Fuckin' book it!"
Oh? I didn’t realize others had arrived, but I guess the Captain is a coward since he and the others are retreating. But if he keeps heading that way, he'll run into Cerelia.
I look at my data pad and see that all remaining hostiles are heading away from my position and towards Cerelia.
Hm, Jordan Cores should be fine, so I'll just go make sure they're cornered between Cerelia and I.
I slither out of the med bay and manually lock the door, something I didn't have the time to do when I first got here due to the severity of his injuries. Once certain no one can get to Jordan Cores before any of this is over, I chase after the pirates ready to finally finish this disaster.
Cerelia, Altrin Female, Captain of The Opal Star
I smirk as I watch the unregistered lifeforms get snuffed out, 7 dying within 45 seconds, leaving 5 trying to run away as they turn around and head back this way. “Hm, well that Captain hasn’t shown up yet. Maybe he’s too much of a coward to board himself. Gonna be hard to be a pirate captain when we kill your whole crew.” I say with some smugness before returning my attention back to Lys and the crew members in this room.
“Hey, how are you all holding up?”
“I’m physically fine, just a little bit messed up emotionally.” Lys says as he looks up at me. Then a different voice speaks up.
“Captain Cerelia? What in the 17 Hells did we bring aboard our ship? That thing can’t really be a person, can it?” A scared voice asks as they were still huddling up with the rest of the crew as well as a few nods from some others.
A part of me feels hurt that they referred to Jordan as a thing, but I look over at the corpse of the orange Alcoranth that is still on the floor and shudder at the thought of having to witness that. This is the kind of damage you expect from a rifle or a carving knife. But... this was done by Jordan's fists, a blunt force in most respects.
But I can't deny that he also protected them, despite not even knowing them.
"A scared and protective man is what we brought upon our ship." I respond as I return my gaze to Lys and the crew, before turning back to guarding the safe room, as I can hear a fairly large grouping of foot steps running this way.
End of Chapter 8! I am sorry that this chapter is shorter than the action filled Chapter 7, I've just been a bit of a mental bind trying to figure this chapter out. Also, I never thought I would have to say this, but I don't approve of anyone "narrating" my story as it makes me uncomfortable. With that out of the way, I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, please let me know your thoughts below.
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Meet Zoe Dufroux and Jay Kloss, the owners and partners behind Zoux Bar and Dough Store, two exciting new stores who have recently joined us here at Oracle Boulevard.

Originally hailing from Melbourne, the duo decided to bring the light, refreshing flavours of Zoux Bar’s smoothies, acai bowls, and raw treats, up to the Gold Coast, alongside Dough Store’s incredibly on trend range of quality sneakers and streetwear, to create a new, innovative health and style hub. We chatted with Zoe and Jay to learn more about why they wanted to combine their stores, and what drew them up from Melbourne to the sunny shores of Oracle Boulevard.

What made you both want to open new store locations at Oracle Boulevard?

The decision for us to open new store locations at Oracle Boulevard was driven by a combination of strategic considerations. Oracle Boulevard has established itself as a vibrant and high-traffic area, making it an attractive destination for us.

We recognise the importance of being in a location where people naturally gather, and Oracle Boulevard provides the ideal setting for this. The mix of residents, professionals, and tourists frequenting the area reflects a diverse and affluent customer base that is in line with our brand positioning. By joining this dynamic ecosystem, we aim to contribute to the rich tapestry of culinary offerings and cater to the preferences of the local community.

Have you both always wanted to have your own stores? Have you both always been quite entrepreneurial?

The desire for independence and a love for the freedom and creativity that comes with owning our own stores led us to venture into business. We found the transition to entrepreneurship incredibly rewarding. The ability to make independent decisions and witness the direct impact of our efforts has brought a sense of fulfillment and personal growth that was missing in our previous corporate roles.

What made our decisions even easier was the convergence of our passions. Jay’s enthusiasm for sneakers and my passion for health food created a unique synergy that perfectly aligned with our business endeavours. This shared passion not only fuelled our motivation but also played a pivotal role in shaping the identity and offerings of our stores, making the journey into entrepreneurship even more exciting and purposeful. Dough Store reviews

What is something you’ve learned from running your own business alongside a partner who’s also growing their own business?

Running our own businesses alongside each other has been a profound learning experience. One key lesson is the importance of effective communication and collaboration. We’ve discovered that aligning our goals, strategies, and timelines ensures a more synergistic and supportive partnership.

Another valuable lesson is the power of leveraging each other’s strengths. Recognizing and capitalizing on the unique skills and expertise each partner brings to the table has allowed us to optimize our business operations. This complementary approach not only enhances efficiency but also fosters a sense of mutual empowerment. Dough Store reviews

Adaptability is a constant theme in entrepreneurship, and navigating the unpredictable nature of business alongside a partner reinforces the need for flexibility. Overall, the experience of running our own businesses alongside a partner has highlighted the significance of effective communication, leveraging strengths, adaptability, and fostering a supportive and celebratory partnership for sustained growth and success.

Is there a menu item from Zoux Bar you’d recommend people try?

The ‘Chicken Kewpie Toastie’ has been a staple on our menu since day one and has evolved into one of our signature dishes. It’s not only flavourful but also filling and satiating, making it a satisfying choice.

What do you think will be the IT shoe for 2024? Numerous sneakers are gaining popularity this year, but we anticipate the New Balance 9060s, Sambas, and YEEZY 350s will continue to be the “IT” shoes in 2024.

Companies like Daily Wire are at the forefront of this new “movement” to turn art back into a “right wing” focus. Sadly, their attempts at making books and movies tend to be both niche and flops(other than the books of someone like Jordan Peterson). I find this odd because we always hear about the great classics of antiquity that survived thousands of years, all opposed by the radical left as part of the four olds. If we remember our history, we should know that the Red Guards of Maoist China and the anti-culture wokescolds of now are both designed to destroy old customs, cultures, habits, and ideas. A revival of these right wing ideas seems to be ignored or ineffective.
Why is that?
Most right wing commentary personalities are what we can consider as platonian, a follower of Plato. As an ancient Greek philosopher, Plato shared many beliefs among the right, ranging from his rejection of democracy to the importance of a meritocracy (philosopher-kings). However, his opinion on art came from his belief in forms. If a form was a perfect unit of measurement, and an art was a mimicry of a form, then art was a further illusion and delusion away from the truth. A Chinese philosophy called Mohism also shares this rejection of art, believing that aesthetic beauty is a distraction from the utility of an organized society.
Another important aspect of art to notice is the element of liberal arts. Academically, we have liberal arts and fine arts. Liberal arts trains an artist for a wide range of different mediums and styles, while fine arts focuses on deeper forms and specialization. The fine arts have been lost over time, due to the enforcement of liberal arts at a young age, which is caused by large classrooms doing different types of arts for children. This is so that the children can “find themselves” and be exposed to all sorts of art forms.
Unfortunately, this freedom and lack of actual education causes people to either give up or wander aimlessly in the art style they appreciate.
To give a round number, about 1% - 2% of people end up becoming artists. We might think that there are far more, especially if we frequent the internet or live in a big city, but this means a global 80 million - 160 million people. This means that out of every 100 people, we have 1 or 2 who are able to entertain them. The artist is an outlier and an anomaly, not the norm. The inclination of becoming an artist is usually at the cost of suffering from mental disorders, being unhappy with life, or seeking attention to stand out.
Under antiquity, art was considered an aspect of gods like Hephaestus and Apollo: fire and the sun. Passion and enlightenment. It was meant to be the thing that reveals, tied to truth, and guides the viewer toward a better tomorrow. This is why ancient art focused so heavily on the gods and form, with the gods being the bearers of that which is order and true. This habit of making art for civilization became the culture, which allowed their presence to last thousands of years later.
The art of classicism is able to be considered a right wing art form, due to the focus on hierarchy, objectivity, and truth. Left wing art wasn’t really a thing until countercultures and leftism was introduced around the 1700s, because art only held a value toward the kings and aristocrats who could afford it. Once revolutions started turning the attention toward the people, and industrialization engaged in capitalism, art became a thing for whoever could pay for it or whoever wanted propaganda. Shift the production of art to corporations, then remove the standard of art to claim all art is equal under postmodernism, and we now have leftist dominance of art. Classicism is a thing of the past, due to the institution abandoning it in order to engage in postmodernist consumerism.
The middle ages were a drastic time, where entire cities were falling dead from the plague. Art was used to continue living, with art forms like memento mori and vanitas reminding everyone that they will die and they must cherish life. But after industrialization and liberalism took over, it became less about a threat to life and more about a threat to mind. Romanticism adopted medievalism in the 1700-1800s, with romantic influencers like Jean-Jacques Rousseau jumpstarting aspects of romantic nationalism, an alternative to the fallen kingdoms. When France changed from the monarchy to a nationalist empire, their cultural residue was cherished and held together by an emotional bond.
Once this bond was dismantled by postmodernism, France lost all national identity.
The hierarchy of right wing art allowed a domination to occur under the guilds who were trusted by royal stamps. The agreed respect among kingdoms, under religious rule, allowed a standard to be presented and kept. Once industrialization allowed mass production of goods by anyone in the population, the guilds could not keep up and they vanished. The necessity of privilege to uphold cultural values was removed, to be replaced by the “freedom” of liberal arts. The right will say that art is for culture, while the left says art is for entertainment.
This “entertainment” under leftism and anarchy(inherently left wing) has now revealed itself to be nothing more than enforced propaganda and anti-culture. Where is the incentive for companies to go right wing? Who is it even for anymore? Who’s going to pay for the production and how will it reignite the culture? When the government opposes your art and makes sure it’s rejected by the people in charge: who are the patrons?
A lack of hierarchy is a lack of a standard applied to art. When this is at the institutional level, the only thing that runs a production is the possibility of profit. When profit is no longer an issue because of government subsidies for failures, there is no desire to even make it appealing. Major companies being able to make absolute garbage and call it art is why we are surrounded by anti-culture. Music focused on nonsensical sounds and hedonism is why we don’t have much of a music industry.
This anarchy of the arts being benefited by the institution is why people have removed themselves from culture and even society. The lack of profit from trying to do your own thing causes further attrition to not even try. The woke overreach is set as the norm, backed up by billions of dollars, at a global scale. We are already in a cyberpunk dystopia, ruled by corporations with empty husks of states existing as pathetic excuses of their former selves. When stocks drop slightly, people celebrate, unaware that it’s no different than a crouch before a massive leap.
Right wing art is the only thing that will cause civilization to continue onward, especially if there is a national collapse. Anything recognizable is a residue of what is true or of form. We can view all art, and even the cycle of an institution, as part right and part left. Order and chaos, as a yin-yang symbol. In our current era, we have more yin(chaos/femininity) than yang(ordemasculinity).
The goal is to hold an equilibrium, where the order is of yang, and the chaos(counter-order) is of yin. A minority of chaos in our order, a minority of order in our chaos. When kingdoms survived for thousands of years, there was unrest and uprisings, but they were the minority. There was corruption, but it was held down by order. There were nonsensical art works, but they were overshadowed by what we treat as ancient relics and wonders.
The left is here to oppose and challenge the people in charge, not be the ones in charge; in the same way as we have children challenge a parent. In under 80 years of postmodernism, we have already dismantled millennia of recorded world history, to reduce the average citizen of the US into what is now considered a “digital nomad” or a “corporate caveman.” With no understanding in how to act or behave, people are reduced to their primitive minds, leaving the “noble savage” theory of Rousseau to be fully debunked as horse hockey. The rejection of recorded history, with the absence of recorded history, quickly turns humanity into the neanderthal and troglodyte(cave diver). Thankfully, as nature heals itself, this “return to the cave” is a way to reset and revive the will to power.
As doom and gloom as I sound across the majority of my writing, this key factor is what retains my hope for humanity. Right wing is inherent. We are not born as right wing, we are naturally matured into right wing through hardship and necessity. The REQUIREMENT of right wing art for survival is what causes a collapsed society to recollect itself. As we did after the fall of Rome, people will gather up in tight circles, place bricks around that circle, and hold out for the worst of times in their castle.
Right wing art is not really made, but sought after. The comfort and distraction of postmodernity makes it so people aren’t seeking it. But once we’re engaged in a complete collapse, it will be there, ready to bring survival back into consideration. It is the most powerful art, even if it’s not the most profitable for the artist. It is priceless to civilization. For it to be ignored, and set as the enemy, as the four olds, is the very reason why we deserve a societal collapse.

Game Title: Eiyuden Chronicles: Hundred Heroes
Platforms:

• Xbox Series X/S (Apr 23, 2024)
• PlayStation 5 (Apr 23, 2024)
• Nintendo Switch (Apr 23, 2024)
• PC (Apr 23, 2024)
• Xbox One (Apr 23, 2024)
• PlayStation 4 (Apr 23, 2024)

Trailers:

• Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes Pre-launch Trailer (ESRB)
• Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes Pre-Order Trailer (ESRB)

Developer: Rabbit & Bear Studios
Publisher: 505 Games
Review Aggregator:
OpenCritic - 76 average - 59% recommended - 52 reviews

Critic Reviews

CGMagazine - Justin Wood - 8 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a worthy spiritual successor to Suikoden. Outside of some combat tweaks there is a lot to love here.

COGconnected - James Paley - 75 / 100

As far as homages go, Hundred Heroes is an exceptional one. That old-school sensibility is captured perfectly, almost to its detriment. The sprite art is exceptional, the voice work is fantastic, and the character designs are excellent. I wish the pacing was more modern, though. And I’d be fine with an updated approach to inventory management. But all that is what makes this such a faithful successor to the Suikoden series. Well, that and the establishment of your own kingdom full of heroes. If you’re looking for the next Suikoden game, this is it! Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a worthy ascendant to the Suikoden throne.

Cat with Monocle - Seth Hay - 4.5 / 5

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is what classic RPG fans and especially Suikoden veterans are looking for. It has the gameplay, the soundtrack, and everything in between. It’s like reuniting with a long lost comrade and picking up where you left off, having a blast all over again. Welcome back, old friend, we missed you.

Cerealkillerz - German - 8.3 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes offers excellent content, especially for fans of JRPGs from the 90s, looks great and also keeps you engaged in the long term with the many characters that can be found. Only the story sometimes suffers from pacing issues and the current objective is not always completely clear. But that doesn't stop the title from being a great new start for an almost forgotten series.

Checkpoint Gaming - David McNamara - 7 / 10

Despite boldly declaring "the JRPG is back" and then doing absolutely nothing new with the genre, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a decent, traditional JRPG that will tickle anyone who adored the classic PlayStation titles of the late nineties. Its modern affordances in visual design and voice acting bring this nostalgic adventure into the present day, but it is let down by sluggish, repetitive combat and some missed opportunities when it comes to utilising its massive roster of characters. Fans of Suikoden will likely already have this pre-ordered - for everyone else, check this out if you're looking for a nostalgic romp and don't mind a few speed bumps along the way.

Digital Trends - George Yang - 3 / 5

As a Suikoden successor, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is faithful to a fault.

Eurogamer - Kaan Serin - 3 / 5

A big throwback RPG that doesn't meaningfully mess with Suikoden's 30-year-old formula.

Everyeye.it - Lorenzo Mango - Italian - 7.5 / 10

"To JRPG lovers" is the first sentence we read when starting Eiyuden Chronicle Hundred Heroes, testifying to the intentions that moved the developers of Rabbit & Bear Studios Inc.. In fact, the game is an impeccable collection of quotes, cues, mechanics and plots dating back to various sacred monsters of the genre, moreover staged with a curated artistic direction and really "in love" with its sources of inspiration.

GAMES.CH - Benjamin Braun - German - 75%

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes mainly delivers what the developers promised. It's a mostly very classical JRPG experience with beautiful graphics and great music. But while fans of the 90's JRPGs might get anything they love about these classics here, they also get nearly everything, that they might hate about them.

Game Informer - Josh Broadwell - 8 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a good reminder of why the RPG genre left some parts of its Golden Age behind. It’s also a testimony to what makes the genre special and the power of good storytelling to move and inspire. Admittedly, rigid adherence to archaic structures makes those first impressions tough to look past, but a creative battle system, extensive party customization, and top-notch writing make up for the retro jank.

GameBlast - Victor Vitório - Portuguese - 7.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes was clearly made with dedication to deliver an epic experience about assembling a resistance army in the midst of an inglorious war. The narrative cannot give importance to such a vast cast, but, overall, it does a good job with what it has at hand, telling an engaging, well-written and well-voiced story. Translation does not follow the same level and several systems seem to be too close to the old productions on which they are based, missing the chance to modernize to allow for more efficient management. The end result is a good JRPG that suffers from limitations, which can still be resolved with changes here and there to systems, options and menus, bringing with it the potential to really shine in its environment.

GameGrin - Alana Dunitz - 9 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is for fans of turn-based RPGs. It's challenging, has great heroes, and a deep story. It will pull you in!

GameLuster - Nirav Gandhi - 9 / 10

I am shocked to my core; as a great lover of RPGs, this is one of the best ever. It's a must play for any genre fan out there.

GameSkinny - Abby Smith - 9 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes has the nostalgic feel of a '90s JRPG but revitalizes the genre with lovable characters and epic strategy sequences.

Gamer Guides - Ben Chard - 80 / 100

Eiyuden Chronicle is a fantastic first entry from Rabbit & Bear Studios in an attempt to bring back Suikoden. A by-the-numbers plot holds it back from truly achieving greatness, but a strong cast and exciting base building makes this a must-have for all fans of classic JRPGs.

Gamers Heroes - Johnny Hurricane - 85 / 100

Eiyuden Chonricle: Hundred Heroes is exactly what Suikoden fans have been asking for. Fans of old-school JRPGs or games about recurring characters shouldn't hesitate to check it out.

Gamersky - Chinese - 7.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is sure to satisfy long-awaited fans of the series, but whether it will win over casual gamers is another story. It boasts a quality script and a large, unique ensemble cast, but its dated design and lack of side-quest guidance will detract significantly from your experience.

God is a Geek - Mick Fraser - 9.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a truly memorable experience that absolutely will stick with you when it's over.

Hobby Consolas - David Rodriguez - Spanish - 82 / 100

Eiyuden Chronicle Hundred Heroes is a great journey back to the golden age of the JRPG and a tribute to all the good things Suikoden gave us. With nostalgia as its flag, this game manages to overcome its lack of innovation to deliver a great adventure that will take you back to simpler times.

IGN - Jess Reyes - 7 / 10

One you get past its slow start, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes mostly succeeds in weaving the stories of multiple countries and characters together into a sprawling epic.

IGN Italy - Francesco Destri - Italian - 7.5 / 10

While Suikoden II and IV remain on another level, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes takes the formula of these classics to some extent and repurposes it in a JRPG that is certainly interesting but perhaps not as beautiful and accomplished as we would have hoped.

IGN Korea - Jieun Koo - Korean - 10 / 10

Another great title with immersive classic JRPG roots. Players will be busy with their hearts being engulfed with a tsunami of emotions when the game’s protagonists with all differences in races, culture and relationships eventually come together as one to share an ultimate goal. Players must build cities and defend against waves of invasions which brings enough motivation to show that even heroes still need everyone’s support to grow and be strong. Truly motivating once the players understand that maintaining positive relationships with other adventurers is key to advance forward in their journey. The 2.5D-esque graphics paired with dynamic action camera work is surely eye-candy and the sound design that focuses on epic 1-on-1 duels will be music to every gamers’ ears.

INVEN - Kwangseok Park - Korean - 8.5 / 10

A love letter to classic JRPG fans' would be the perfect description for this game. It's filled with various elements that evoke nostalgia for JRPG enthusiasts. However, despite its efforts to recreate the nostalgia of the past, maybe the absence of convenience feaures was too much.

Infinite Start - Mark Fajardo - 8.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a heartfelt homage to the Suikoden games, seamlessly blending nostalgia with fresh experiences. While it effectively captures the essence of Suikoden, offering familiar storytelling and visuals that resonate deeply with fans, the presence of bugs and occasional performance issues may detract from the overall enjoyment. Nevertheless, these minor setbacks do not overshadow the game's true strength—its ability to evoke a sense of nostalgia while delivering a new and captivating adventure. With its rich narrative and familiar gameplay elements, Eiyuden Chronicle feels like a true Suikoden game with a new title, making it a must-play for fans of the beloved series.

Kakuchopurei - Jonathan Leo - 90 / 100

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes perfectly captures the zeitgeist period of Japanese role-playing games of the late 90s, faults and all. [...] Players who yearn for the days of an epic fantasy story with solid turn-based combat & dungeon puzzle shenanigans most immersive will find a lot to love in this heartfelt tribute from the late Yoshitaka Murayama and his team Rabbit & Bear Studios.

LadiesGamers.com - Margaret David - Loved

It won’t take long to fall in love with Nowa and his initial teammates on the Watch, and the bittersweet story beats come achingly fast in the first act of the game. Those who played the prologue game, Eiyuden Chronicles Rising, won’t have to wait long to meet some familiar faces and learn the answers to some of the questions left hanging there. From there, the journey is a comfortably familiar but emotional one, where power-hungry villains separate friends and family under the banner of a war that threatens to grow out of control.
It’s a beefy game, too, with backers who already got their copy claiming that they’re clocking 60 hours on a fast-paced playthrough, and I’m suggesting that around 80 is going to be a fair hour count for most players. Chock full of stuff to do, things to explore, and characters to meet and collect; for some of us, this is the game we wanted when we were teens and still enjoying our last free summers. Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a fantastic JRPG, wearing its old-school quirks like a badge of pride, with even its deliberate annoyances feeling like a wool flannel shirt. I can safely say it’s a terrific game and one its backers will welcome home with delight.

MonsterVine - Nick Mangiaracina - 4.5 / 5

To say I’m surprised by how much I’ve been enjoying Hundred Heroes is an understatement. Truly, I cannot wait to not only finish this game. I’m also really hoping the passing of the great Yoshitaka Murayama doesn’t slow Rabbit & Bear Studios down because I would really love to see more RPGs in this vein.

Niche Gamer - Fingal Belmont - 9 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes perfectly captures everything it set out to achieve. While the “love letter to JRPGs” phrase gets thrown around a lot these days, and sometimes makes me cringe despite my adoration for the genre, I have to hand it to Rabbit & Bear Studios. They made a promise and delivered with in amazing ways I never thought possible – Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a love letter to classic JRPGs.

Nintendo Blast - Ivanir Ignacchitti - Portuguese - 6.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is an RPG that actively strives to go against the market's quality of life efforts in pursuit of an old-school ideal. However, the result is a game that closes in on itself and caters only to the most die-hard fans of the genre. It's a shame, because even simple adjustments, like a mission menu and occasional changes to the menu, would be enough to maintain the challenge without the part that is purely inconvenient.

Nintendo Life - Mitch Vogel - 6 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is the epitome of a flawed gem-the kind of game that does a lot of things right and we're sure will command a dedicated legion of fans, but has legitimate problems that are tough to overlook. The expansive narrative, gorgeous spritework, and addictive combat all help make it an easy recommendation to any classic JRPG fan, but bear in mind that it can feel dated in its design philosophy and that the Switch version has a lot of performance problems, at least at launch. If you can get past those issues, this is an enjoyable and immersive RPG that mostly achieves what it set out to do.

NintendoWorldReport - Jordan Rudek - 5 / 10

Were I not reviewing the game I would have put it aside after a few hours and never thought about it again. Eiyuden Chronicle comes after scores and scores of excellent and successful turn-based RPGs from which it could draw inspiration. Instead, it neglects so many of the lessons learned throughout the years in favor of outdated, tedious gameplay.

Noisy Pixel - Azario Lopez - 7.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a beautiful JRPG from beginning to end. It captures the wonder of discovery and adventure in every scene, with an added dose of tension as you navigate the complexities of a nation at war. Still, much of the weight has been removed from the player to the point where it feels like the entire experience is on autopilot and you're simply participating when it wants you to, like in a boss battle or environmental puzzle. That said, if I look at this game through the lens of it being Murayama-san's adventure and not mine, I'm just happy that he allowed me to accompany him on this path. While it's a brilliant showcasing of retro meets modern, there are areas to improve, and I can't wait to see what comes next.

One More Game - Vincent Ternida - 7 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes pays homage to the beloved Suikoden series, which left an indelible mark as one of the most memorable JRPGs during the PlayStation 1 era. The game’s expansive design and nostalgic elements evoke fond memories for fans. However, nostalgia can be selective, often glossing over past flaws.
The revival of dated mechanics, including random encounters, fixed savepoints, and lengthy world map treks, hampers the overall pacing. Additionally, new features like gimmicks, war games, and forgettable characters miss the mark. The resulting package falls short of the (unreasonable) highs set by its inspirational source material.

PC Gamer - Baxter Burchill - 85 / 100

A joyous adventure and fitting swan song for one of Japan's great RPG directors.

PCGamesN - Lowell Bell - 6 / 10

Whether or not you're a fan of Suikoden II, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is just about worth your time. Unfortunately, almost every high point in Nowa's adventure is met with a painful low, making for a disjointed experience bursting with forgettable minigames and characters.

PSX Brasil - Thiago de Alencar Moura - Portuguese - 85 / 100

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a beautiful love letter to RPGs. It has an excellent story and characters, a challenging and entertaining combat system, as well as a vast amount of content to explore, all wrapped up in a package with great graphics and soundtrack. It's a must-have title for fans of the genre.

Press Start - Harry Kalogirou - 7.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a robust remembrance of JRPGs from a bygone era. Despite some of the more archaic design elements of that generation seeping through the cracks, this spiritual successor to Suikoden offers a comforting and familiar experience that feels inherently nostalgic. Between engaging characters, a diverse world, alluring combat, and more, Hundred Heroes is proof that this sub-genre is timeless, even at its roots.

Pure Xbox - PJ O'Reilly - 8 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a slick and satisfying spiritual successor that gives Suikoden fans a great big dreamy treat whilst updating, modernising and streamlining its most retro aspects into a brand-new and exciting adventure for newcomers. With a timely tale to tell, excellent battle systems, an amazing cast of characters and plenty of experimentation and puzzling in its dungeons, this is a big win for Game Pass, and a fine farewell for one of the industry's true greats. Now, isn't that a lovely thing.

Push Square - Khayl Adam - 8 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is the true spiritual successor to the Suikoden series, capturing what made those games magical and expanding on the premise a hundred-fold. It tells a well-written and verbose tale of courage and endurance, but adherence to some fairly brutal old-school design precepts means it won't appeal to everyone.

RPG Fan - Zach Wilkerson - 80%

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes might be a poor imitation of the games that came before, but it still has plenty to recommend it.

Rock, Paper, Shotgun - Ed Thorn - Unscored

A turn-based JRPG that accommodates those familiar with Suikoden or those who don't know what a Suikoden is. Embrace the old-school quirks and there's a wonderful journey to be had here.

Shacknews - Lucas White - 7 / 10

Maybe Hundred Heroes doesn't have me ready to run outside screaming about miracles, but I'm plenty satisfied and ready to go back and fill in some old, classic JRPG blind spots. Well, after I replay Tierkreis.

Siliconera - Jenni Lada - 5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicles: Hundred Heroes is designed to bring players a modern take on a classic JRPG experience. Get ready to lead 100+ playable characters through a war-torn world only you can save. Switch version reviewed. Review copy provided by company for testing purposes. On a PC, I imagine Eiyuden Chronicle might generally be fine, but on the Switch it is a mess.

Spaziogames - Gianluca Arena - Italian - 7 / 10

Old players who have grown up with the first two episodes of the Suikoden franchise and backers of the Kickstarter campaign will be the most pleased by Eiyuden Chronicles Hundred Heroes, and old school JRPG through and through. Divisive game design choices aside, what we have here is a solid effort, but also one that looks too much to the past and much less to the future of the genre.

TechRaptor - Andrew Stretch - 5.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicles: Hundred Heroes hits the right notes on paper but in practice, the story is poorly executed, battles are bland, recruitable characters are beyond forgettable, and the game itself is sluggish. The style and audio design do a good job, but not enough to save the overall experience.

The Beta Network - Anthony Culinas - 6 / 10

Being a homage to the classic Suikoden series, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes contains a PS1-like nostalgic appeal, a decent story and varied dungeon designs throughout. However, it’s held back by tedious recruitment processes, lacklustre battle systems and pacing issues that drag down the potential level of enjoyment.

The Games Machine - Danilo Dellafrana - Italian - 6 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicles: Hundred Heroes is a good, deliberately old-fashioned JRPG with all the pros and cons. As a love letter to Suikoden it hits the mark despite some uncertainties, but the biggest problem at the moment are the bugs we encountered during the review, some very serious and impossible to ignore. Wait patiently for the bugfixes.

TheGamer - James Kennedy - 5 / 5

Murayama and the rest of the fine folks at Rabbit And Bear did it. They've created a masterwork. Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes may have one foot firmly planted in the past, but make no mistake, its other foot is lunging forward into the future.

Video Chums - Mary Billington - 9.1 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is an incredibly enjoyable RPG and it brought back great memories of the Suikoden series. Collecting the heroes and having them join you in battle while you build your base and protect the land is just as fun as it was decades ago. 🏰

Wccftech - Francesco De Meo - 8.5 / 10

While its premise, story beats and main characters echo Suikoden II a little bit too much, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes manages to stand on its own with a compelling tale, excellent characterization, classic JRPG gameplay and great presentation, which make it easy to look past some of its shortcomings, such as balancing and minor gameplay issues. The world of Allraan may never get into the spotlight again due to the unfortunate departure of its creator, but it is undeniable that it couldn't have been introduced to JRPG fans in a better way.

Windows Central - Alexander Cope - 4 / 5

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is an enjoyable JRPG that old-school and new JRPG fans alike will enjoy. It has dozens of playable heroes to recruit and sidequests to complete, the combat system is intuitive and satisfying and the 2D-HD graphics are pleasing to look at. While the storyline, characters, and mini-games are relatively simplistic and there’s lots of micro-management required, these issues do not deter from the game’s positive qualities.

eXputer - Hanzala Iftikhar - 4.5 / 5

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a love letter for all Suikoden fans; it embraces the classic essence and doesn’t succumb to modernity.

Game Information

Game Title: Eiyuden Chronicles: Hundred Heroes
Platforms:

• Xbox Series X/S (Apr 23, 2024)
• PlayStation 5 (Apr 23, 2024)
• Nintendo Switch (Apr 23, 2024)
• PC (Apr 23, 2024)
• Xbox One (Apr 23, 2024)
• PlayStation 4 (Apr 23, 2024)

Trailers:

• Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes Pre-launch Trailer (ESRB)
• Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes Pre-Order Trailer (ESRB)

Developer: Rabbit & Bear Studios
Publisher: 505 Games
Review Aggregator:
OpenCritic - 76 average - 60% recommended - 51 reviews

Critic Reviews

CGMagazine - Justin Wood - 8 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a worthy spiritual successor to Suikoden. Outside of some combat tweaks there is a lot to love here.

COGconnected - James Paley - 75 / 100

As far as homages go, Hundred Heroes is an exceptional one. That old-school sensibility is captured perfectly, almost to its detriment. The sprite art is exceptional, the voice work is fantastic, and the character designs are excellent. I wish the pacing was more modern, though. And I’d be fine with an updated approach to inventory management. But all that is what makes this such a faithful successor to the Suikoden series. Well, that and the establishment of your own kingdom full of heroes. If you’re looking for the next Suikoden game, this is it! Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a worthy ascendant to the Suikoden throne.

Cerealkillerz - German - 8.3 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes offers excellent content, especially for fans of JRPGs from the 90s, looks great and also keeps you engaged in the long term with the many characters that can be found. Only the story sometimes suffers from pacing issues and the current objective is not always completely clear. But that doesn't stop the title from being a great new start for an almost forgotten series.

Checkpoint Gaming - David McNamara - 7 / 10

Despite boldly declaring "the JRPG is back" and then doing absolutely nothing new with the genre, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a decent, traditional JRPG that will tickle anyone who adored the classic PlayStation titles of the late nineties. Its modern affordances in visual design and voice acting bring this nostalgic adventure into the present day, but it is let down by sluggish, repetitive combat and some missed opportunities when it comes to utilising its massive roster of characters. Fans of Suikoden will likely already have this pre-ordered - for everyone else, check this out if you're looking for a nostalgic romp and don't mind a few speed bumps along the way.

Digital Trends - George Yang - 3 / 5

As a Suikoden successor, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is faithful to a fault.

Eurogamer - Kaan Serin - 3 / 5

A big throwback RPG that doesn't meaningfully mess with Suikoden's 30-year-old formula.

Everyeye.it - Lorenzo Mango - Italian - 7.5 / 10

"To JRPG lovers" is the first sentence we read when starting Eiyuden Chronicle Hundred Heroes, testifying to the intentions that moved the developers of Rabbit & Bear Studios Inc.. In fact, the game is an impeccable collection of quotes, cues, mechanics and plots dating back to various sacred monsters of the genre, moreover staged with a curated artistic direction and really "in love" with its sources of inspiration.

GAMES.CH - Benjamin Braun - German - 75%

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes mainly delivers what the developers promised. It's a mostly very classical JRPG experience with beautiful graphics and great music. But while fans of the 90's JRPGs might get anything they love about these classics here, they also get nearly everything, that they might hate about them.

Game Informer - Josh Broadwell - 8 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a good reminder of why the RPG genre left some parts of its Golden Age behind. It’s also a testimony to what makes the genre special and the power of good storytelling to move and inspire. Admittedly, rigid adherence to archaic structures makes those first impressions tough to look past, but a creative battle system, extensive party customization, and top-notch writing make up for the retro jank.

GameBlast - Victor Vitório - Portuguese - 7.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes was clearly made with dedication to deliver an epic experience about assembling a resistance army in the midst of an inglorious war. The narrative cannot give importance to such a vast cast, but, overall, it does a good job with what it has at hand, telling an engaging, well-written and well-voiced story. Translation does not follow the same level and several systems seem to be too close to the old productions on which they are based, missing the chance to modernize to allow for more efficient management. The end result is a good JRPG that suffers from limitations, which can still be resolved with changes here and there to systems, options and menus, bringing with it the potential to really shine in its environment.

GameGrin - Alana Dunitz - 9 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is for fans of turn-based RPGs. It's challenging, has great heroes, and a deep story. It will pull you in!

GameLuster - Nirav Gandhi - 9 / 10

I am shocked to my core; as a great lover of RPGs, this is one of the best ever. It's a must play for any genre fan out there.

GameSkinny - Abby Smith - 9 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes has the nostalgic feel of a '90s JRPG but revitalizes the genre with lovable characters and epic strategy sequences.

Gamer Guides - Ben Chard - 80 / 100

Eiyuden Chronicle is a fantastic first entry from Rabbit & Bear Studios in an attempt to bring back Suikoden. A by-the-numbers plot holds it back from truly achieving greatness, but a strong cast and exciting base building makes this a must-have for all fans of classic JRPGs.

Gamers Heroes - Johnny Hurricane - 85 / 100

Eiyuden Chonricle: Hundred Heroes is exactly what Suikoden fans have been asking for. Fans of old-school JRPGs or games about recurring characters shouldn't hesitate to check it out.

Gamersky - Chinese - 7.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is sure to satisfy long-awaited fans of the series, but whether it will win over casual gamers is another story. It boasts a quality script and a large, unique ensemble cast, but its dated design and lack of side-quest guidance will detract significantly from your experience.

God is a Geek - Mick Fraser - 9.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a truly memorable experience that absolutely will stick with you when it's over.

Hobby Consolas - David Rodriguez - Spanish - 82 / 100

Eiyuden Chronicle Hundred Heroes is a great journey back to the golden age of the JRPG and a tribute to all the good things Suikoden gave us. With nostalgia as its flag, this game manages to overcome its lack of innovation to deliver a great adventure that will take you back to simpler times.

IGN - Jess Reyes - 7 / 10

One you get past its slow start, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes mostly succeeds in weaving the stories of multiple countries and characters together into a sprawling epic.

IGN Korea - Jieun Koo - Korean - 10 / 10

Another great title with immersive classic JRPG roots. Players will be busy with their hearts being engulfed with a tsunami of emotions when the game’s protagonists with all differences in races, culture and relationships eventually come together as one to share an ultimate goal. Players must build cities and defend against waves of invasions which brings enough motivation to show that even heroes still need everyone’s support to grow and be strong. Truly motivating once the players understand that maintaining positive relationships with other adventurers is key to advance forward in their journey. The 2.5D-esque graphics paired with dynamic action camera work is surely eye-candy and the sound design that focuses on epic 1-on-1 duels will be music to every gamers’ ears.

INVEN - Kwangseok Park - Korean - 8.5 / 10

A love letter to classic JRPG fans' would be the perfect description for this game. It's filled with various elements that evoke nostalgia for JRPG enthusiasts. However, despite its efforts to recreate the nostalgia of the past, maybe the absence of convenience feaures was too much.

Infinite Start - Mark Fajardo - 8.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a heartfelt homage to the Suikoden games, seamlessly blending nostalgia with fresh experiences. While it effectively captures the essence of Suikoden, offering familiar storytelling and visuals that resonate deeply with fans, the presence of bugs and occasional performance issues may detract from the overall enjoyment. Nevertheless, these minor setbacks do not overshadow the game's true strength—its ability to evoke a sense of nostalgia while delivering a new and captivating adventure. With its rich narrative and familiar gameplay elements, Eiyuden Chronicle feels like a true Suikoden game with a new title, making it a must-play for fans of the beloved series.

Kakuchopurei - Jonathan Leo - 90 / 100

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes perfectly captures the zeitgeist period of Japanese role-playing games of the late 90s, faults and all. [...] Players who yearn for the days of an epic fantasy story with solid turn-based combat & dungeon puzzle shenanigans most immersive will find a lot to love in this heartfelt tribute from the late Yoshitaka Murayama and his team Rabbit & Bear Studios.

LadiesGamers.com - Margaret David - Loved

It won’t take long to fall in love with Nowa and his initial teammates on the Watch, and the bittersweet story beats come achingly fast in the first act of the game. Those who played the prologue game, Eiyuden Chronicles Rising, won’t have to wait long to meet some familiar faces and learn the answers to some of the questions left hanging there. From there, the journey is a comfortably familiar but emotional one, where power-hungry villains separate friends and family under the banner of a war that threatens to grow out of control.
It’s a beefy game, too, with backers who already got their copy claiming that they’re clocking 60 hours on a fast-paced playthrough, and I’m suggesting that around 80 is going to be a fair hour count for most players. Chock full of stuff to do, things to explore, and characters to meet and collect; for some of us, this is the game we wanted when we were teens and still enjoying our last free summers. Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a fantastic JRPG, wearing its old-school quirks like a badge of pride, with even its deliberate annoyances feeling like a wool flannel shirt. I can safely say it’s a terrific game and one its backers will welcome home with delight.

Niche Gamer - Fingal Belmont - 9 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes perfectly captures everything it set out to achieve. While the “love letter to JRPGs” phrase gets thrown around a lot these days, and sometimes makes me cringe despite my adoration for the genre, I have to hand it to Rabbit & Bear Studios. They made a promise and delivered with in amazing ways I never thought possible – Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a love letter to classic JRPGs.

Nintendo Blast - Ivanir Ignacchitti - Portuguese - 6.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is an RPG that actively strives to go against the market's quality of life efforts in pursuit of an old-school ideal. However, the result is a game that closes in on itself and caters only to the most die-hard fans of the genre. It's a shame, because even simple adjustments, like a mission menu and occasional changes to the menu, would be enough to maintain the challenge without the part that is purely inconvenient.

Nintendo Life - Mitch Vogel - 6 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is the epitome of a flawed gem-the kind of game that does a lot of things right and we're sure will command a dedicated legion of fans, but has legitimate problems that are tough to overlook. The expansive narrative, gorgeous spritework, and addictive combat all help make it an easy recommendation to any classic JRPG fan, but bear in mind that it can feel dated in its design philosophy and that the Switch version has a lot of performance problems, at least at launch. If you can get past those issues, this is an enjoyable and immersive RPG that mostly achieves what it set out to do.

NintendoWorldReport - Jordan Rudek - 5 / 10

Were I not reviewing the game I would have put it aside after a few hours and never thought about it again. Eiyuden Chronicle comes after scores and scores of excellent and successful turn-based RPGs from which it could draw inspiration. Instead, it neglects so many of the lessons learned throughout the years in favor of outdated, tedious gameplay.

Noisy Pixel - Azario Lopez - 7.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a beautiful JRPG from beginning to end. It captures the wonder of discovery and adventure in every scene, with an added dose of tension as you navigate the complexities of a nation at war. Still, much of the weight has been removed from the player to the point where it feels like the entire experience is on autopilot and you're simply participating when it wants you to, like in a boss battle or environmental puzzle. That said, if I look at this game through the lens of it being Murayama-san's adventure and not mine, I'm just happy that he allowed me to accompany him on this path. While it's a brilliant showcasing of retro meets modern, there are areas to improve, and I can't wait to see what comes next.

One More Game - Vincent Ternida - 7 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes pays homage to the beloved Suikoden series, which left an indelible mark as one of the most memorable JRPGs during the PlayStation 1 era. The game’s expansive design and nostalgic elements evoke fond memories for fans. However, nostalgia can be selective, often glossing over past flaws.
The revival of dated mechanics, including random encounters, fixed savepoints, and lengthy world map treks, hampers the overall pacing. Additionally, new features like gimmicks, war games, and forgettable characters miss the mark. The resulting package falls short of the (unreasonable) highs set by its inspirational source material.

PCGamesN - Lowell Bell - 6 / 10

Whether or not you're a fan of Suikoden II, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is just about worth your time. Unfortunately, almost every high point in Nowa's adventure is met with a painful low, making for a disjointed experience bursting with forgettable minigames and characters.

PSX Brasil - Thiago de Alencar Moura - Portuguese - 85 / 100

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a beautiful love letter to RPGs. It has an excellent story and characters, a challenging and entertaining combat system, as well as a vast amount of content to explore, all wrapped up in a package with great graphics and soundtrack. It's a must-have title for fans of the genre.

Pure Xbox - PJ O'Reilly - 8 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is a slick and satisfying spiritual successor that gives Suikoden fans a great big dreamy treat whilst updating, modernising and streamlining its most retro aspects into a brand-new and exciting adventure for newcomers. With a timely tale to tell, excellent battle systems, an amazing cast of characters and plenty of experimentation and puzzling in its dungeons, this is a big win for Game Pass, and a fine farewell for one of the industry's true greats. Now, isn't that a lovely thing.

Push Square - Khayl Adam - 8 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is the true spiritual successor to the Suikoden series, capturing what made those games magical and expanding on the premise a hundred-fold. It tells a well-written and verbose tale of courage and endurance, but adherence to some fairly brutal old-school design precepts means it won't appeal to everyone.

RPG Fan - Zach Wilkerson - 80%

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes might be a poor imitation of the games that came before, but it still has plenty to recommend it.

Rock, Paper, Shotgun - Ed Thorn - Unscored

A turn-based JRPG that accommodates those familiar with Suikoden or those who don't know what a Suikoden is. Embrace the old-school quirks and there's a wonderful journey to be had here.

Shacknews - Lucas White - 7 / 10

Maybe Hundred Heroes doesn't have me ready to run outside screaming about miracles, but I'm plenty satisfied and ready to go back and fill in some old, classic JRPG blind spots. Well, after I replay Tierkreis.

Siliconera - Jenni Lada - 5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicles: Hundred Heroes is designed to bring players a modern take on a classic JRPG experience. Get ready to lead 100+ playable characters through a war-torn world only you can save. Switch version reviewed. Review copy provided by company for testing purposes. On a PC, I imagine Eiyuden Chronicle might generally be fine, but on the Switch it is a mess.

Spaziogames - Gianluca Arena - Italian - 7 / 10

Old players who have grown up with the first two episodes of the Suikoden franchise and backers of the Kickstarter campaign will be the most pleased by Eiyuden Chronicles Hundred Heroes, and old school JRPG through and through. Divisive game design choices aside, what we have here is a solid effort, but also one that looks too much to the past and much less to the future of the genre.

TechRaptor - Andrew Stretch - 5.5 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicles: Hundred Heroes hits the right notes on paper but in practice, the story is poorly executed, battles are bland, recruitable characters are beyond forgettable, and the game itself is sluggish. The style and audio design do a good job, but not enough to save the overall experience.

The Beta Network - Anthony Culinas - 6 / 10

Being a homage to the classic Suikoden series, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes contains a PS1-like nostalgic appeal, a decent story and varied dungeon designs throughout. However, it’s held back by tedious recruitment processes, lacklustre battle systems and pacing issues that drag down the potential level of enjoyment.

TheGamer - James Kennedy - 5 / 5

Murayama and the rest of the fine folks at Rabbit And Bear did it. They've created a masterwork. Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes may have one foot firmly planted in the past, but make no mistake, its other foot is lunging forward into the future.

Video Chums - Mary Billington - 9.1 / 10

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is an incredibly enjoyable RPG and it brought back great memories of the Suikoden series. Collecting the heroes and having them join you in battle while you build your base and protect the land is just as fun as it was decades ago. 🏰

Wccftech - Francesco De Meo - 8.5 / 10

While its premise, story beats and main characters echo Suikoden II a little bit too much, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes manages to stand on its own with a compelling tale, excellent characterization, classic JRPG gameplay and great presentation, which make it easy to look past some of its shortcomings, such as balancing and minor gameplay issues. The world of Allraan may never get into the spotlight again due to the unfortunate departure of its creator, but it is undeniable that it couldn't have been introduced to JRPG fans in a better way.

Windows Central - Alexander Cope - 4 / 5

Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes is an enjoyable JRPG that old-school and new JRPG fans alike will enjoy. It has dozens of playable heroes to recruit and sidequests to complete, the combat system is intuitive and satisfying and the 2D-HD graphics are pleasing to look at. While the storyline, characters, and mini-games are relatively simplistic and there’s lots of micro-management required, these issues do not deter from the game’s positive qualities.

Here is a compilation of resources related to this case that you may find helpful. It is by no means comprehensive so please respond with links you recommend, or message me and I’ll update the list. A number of Youtube channels with case content and commentary have been removed or relaunched with little to none of their Watts videos, such as Justin Lee Reacts and Miss Mensa. The below links are active and completely or partially free as of the time of this post.
Edit: updated some of the list, added a separate "miscellaneous" category for resources not specific to the Watts case, but specific to aspects of it (like MLM, financial abuse, etc.)
Blogs/write-ups
Official discovery file
Extensive file released to the public with information about the case
True Crime Analysis Blog (TCAB)
This has some of the most thorough and objective information out there, with plenty of screenshots from SW’s social media and text messages. Many of the images are no longer available on SW’s social media accounts as they were eventually scrubbed. The format is kind of clunky as you have to scroll quite a lot to get to the writeups and the search feature is poor, but it is very well written. The link provided is to a list of TCAB posts about the Watts case. The first entry on the list is a bit off but the others work.
Shanann’s Slippery Slope
Very detailed writeup of SW’s life and actions leading up to the tragedy. This was a multi-part series originally posted on the now-defunct WattsOffTopic (WOT) subreddit by a Redditor, u/Del_Boca_Vista_4eva. You can now view the posts on Del's BuyMeACoffee site; some posts are free. A sample post is available here.
All My Broken Pieces
This was intended to be a book about the case allegedly written by CW’s mother, Cindy Watts. The first four chapters were leaked and met with negative feedback. It is believed that the chapters were not actually written or approved by Cindy, but were instead ghostwritten by an amateur reporter who once gained Cindy’s trust, and were based on conversations. The link provided is in a blog titled Crime Rocket.
Channels with Watts case content
Neeks Peeks
Youtube channel with many Watts-related videos. The content is neutral and the videos often focus on a single topic, such as the girls’ sleep schedules and SW’s MLM activity. (MLM is multi-level marketing, sometimes euphemistically referred to as direct sales, both which are legal terms for pyramid schemes).
Watts the Obsession
Youtube channel with some Watts-related content. Much of it is speculation on NK’s involvement, which appeals to some folks in this sub.
A Curious Rose
Youtube channel that doesn’t have much Watts-related content, but does have a 3-part series in which the creator narrates the book Blood and Marriage. Worth checking out if you are unable to find the book.
Bonita Barbie
Youtube channel with some snarky commentary on SW’s videos, particularly parenting styles. Not for everyone but many find Bonita’s commentary and critiques to be honest. There are not many snark videos left so if that's your cup of tea you may want to check Bonita out.
Jordan Henshaw
Youtube channel by a self-professed layperson (he is clear he is not a psychologist or professional) who makes suggestions about SW and CW’s personalities based on clinical definitions. Content is a bit dry but informative.
The Recovering Hunbot
Youtube channel from a former MLM hun with deep dives and cautionary tales about the harms and dirty practices of MLMs. There are a number of videos dedicated to the MLMs SW participated in and commentary on how MLM played a role in the Watts case. There is also a playlist of SW-related videos. Thank you to Own Bicycle for the suggestion.
Seeking the Truth With Dave
Note you may need to copy and paste the URL depending on Reddit's Rumble policy. Dave sometimes has a Youtube channel but it has been taken down multiple times, and seems more stable on Rumble. He has a lot of Watts content, including interviews with Chris Watt's parents, Cindy and Ronnie. His content can be longwinded but once you get through the filler there is some good information.
Individual videos
Chris Watts – Eyes Of A Monster
Interview with married couple who knew CW and SW from the Ford dealership and remained friendly. Their teenage daughter babysat the girls the night before they were murdered, and CW took the girls to a birthday party for the couple’s other child the night they were killed. If you watch just one video, I would recommend this one. It has some of the most objective, credible information from people who actually knew CW and SW for a number of years and do not have the MLM relationship slant.
Awkward Moments in Shannan Watts’ Home Videos
(SW’s name is misspelled in the title; I have transcribed it exactly). Montage of clips from her social media posts with occasional commentary. Good introduction to the types of videos, often MLM-related, that CW was in with little to no active participation.
Shanannn Watts was a Narcissist: The Toxic Behaviors that Led to an American Tragedy
(Again, SW’s name is misspelled in the title). Commentary on a theory that SW was the narcissist in the relationship, not CW. The video is good quality and more polished than much of the Watts content out there.
Shanann Watts Livestreams Subtle Abuse
Commentary on the “pro-bar” video that is often mentioned on this sub and disturbs some folks.
Cindy Watts interview
Interview with CW’s mother, Cindy Watts, shortly after the plea deal. This interview spurned a great deal of content in Shiner camps about CW and the environment he was raised in, as well as prompted theories about Cindy’s relationship with SW and the girls.
Rzucek Family Partial Dr. Phil Interview
I can’t find the full interview, but here is a clip. The Rzuceks had an interview with television self-help host Dr. Phil. His shows usually focus on getting families in crisis referrals for help, but the episode with the Rzuceks was mostly just discussing the murders and CW’s Wisconsin confession. Very emotional, particularly Sandi’s grief (Sandi is SW’s mom).
Buried with Love: The Watts Family Murders
Free Tubi multi-episode show about the Watts case. Includes interviews from many of SW’s friends from the Le-vel MLM. Has an interview with SW’s high school drama teacher. Good introduction to the case if you are not familiar with it. Note that like other documentaries, it does not explain that Le-vel is a MLM.
Miscellaneous
Le-vel Thrive’s a Scam?
Blog post from Lazy Man and Money. He wrote an objective review of Thrive products, which are produced by the MLM Le-vel and sold to consumers by independent contractors, aka “huns”. Le-vel sued him but he won the case. Very informative details about the products SW was trying to sell. Does not discuss the Watts case but provides insight into something that was a large part of the Watts’ daily life, whether they could admit it or not.
Signs of Financial Abuse
Quick Forbes article about financial abuse in relationships. Pay particular attention to #1 on the list. The article may help explain the harmful nature of the dynamics of how the Watts handled their finances.
Family Influencing in the Best Interests of the Child
University of Chicago law school article on the exploitation of children online at the hands of their parents. It is on the heavy-handed side and not an easy read. While primary focused on family influencers, the repercussions of posting public content of children who are unable to consent is relevant to the case based on the large amount of public facing content of Bella and Cece.
Information about gaslighting
Gaslighting is a term sometimes referenced in commentary about the Watts case, particularly from the Shiner camp. All gaslighting is a form of lying, but not all lying is gaslighting. The term is often used incorrectly.
Anti-MLM subreddit
Lots of content from former MLM huns, former MLM customers, stories, and snark. I strongly advise that you do NOT bring up Shanann Watts here as the mods and heavy users do not seem to like it, but if you are not familiar with MLMs and the harm they cause this is a good place to start.

Any veteran reader who comments in the newbie thread will be banned from WoT for 5 days. Please read the full the rules before commenting.
This is the newbie thread. Visit the veteran thread if you have already read the series.
For more information, or to see the full schedule for all previous entries, please see the wiki page for the read-along.
BOOK THIRTEEN SCHEDULE
This week we will be discussing Book Thirteen: Towers of Midnight, as a whole.

• January 31, 2024: Prologue and Chapters 1 through 4
• February 7, 2024: Chapters 5 through 11
• February 14, 2024: Chapters 12 through 16
• February 21, 2024: Chapters 17 through 20
• February 28, 2024: Chapters 21 through 24
• March 6, 2024: Chapters 25 through 31
• March 13, 2024: Chapters 32 through 38
• March 20, 2024: Chapters 39 through 46
• March 27, 2024: Chapters 47 through 52
• April 3, 2024: Chapters 53 through 57 and Epilogue
• April 10, 2024: Towers of Midnight - Final Thoughts & Trivia <--- You are here.

BOOK FOURTEEN SCHEDULE
Next week we will be discussing Book Fourteen: A Memory of Light, Prologue and Chapter 1.

• April 17, 2024: Prologue and Chapter 1
• April 24, 2024: Chapters 2 through 6
• May 1, 2024: Chapters 7 through 12
• May 8, 2024: Chapters 13 through 18
• May 15, 2024: Chapters 19 through 24
• May 22, 2024: Chapters 25 through 30
• May 29, 2024: Chapters 31 through 36
• June 5, 2024: Chapter 37 (Part 1)
• June 12, 2024: Chapter 37 (Part 2)
• June 19, 2024: Chapters 38 through 49 and Epilogue
• June 26, 2024: A Memory of Light - Final Thoughts & Trivia

​

• July 3, 2024: Short Stories
• July 10, 2024: The Wheel of Time - Final Thoughts & Trivia

DISCUSSION
In lieu of chapter summaries this week, I have some information to present to you. Some of the information comes from outside interviews, or are the culmination of fan speculation to reach a consensus on certain unclear events that aren't elaborated on in future books.
As a caveat, nothing I write below can in any way be considered a spoiler. I will be providing a few bits of trivia that, while not in and of themselves spoilers, do concretely answer some questions that have been asked, whose answers have been revealed by the end of this book, but in easy to miss ways. I will, however, be placing this trivia behind spoiler tags for those who wish to avoid it.
Beyond that, I'd like everyone to use this thread to give their overall thoughts on this book. Let us know your predictions going forward, your favorite characters, things you liked and disliked about it. Feel free to ask open ended questions, or for clarification if you feel you didn't understand something.
PREVIOUS TRIVIA
Here are links to the trivia posts for the previous books, in case you missed them:

• The Eye of the World
• The Great Hunt
• The Dragon Reborn
• The Shadow Rising
• The Fires of Heaven
• Lord of Chaos
• A Crown of Swords
• The Path of Daggers
• Winter's Heart
• Crossroads of Twilight
• New Spring
• In Memoriam: The Life And Death of Robert Jordan
• Knife of Dreams
• Introductions - Brandon Sanderson and The End Of The Wheel of Time
• The Gathering Storm

PROPHECIES
I have compiled a list of all of the prophecies you have encountered to date. It has now been updated with the prophecies from this book. You can find a link to each book's prophecies from this wiki page. The prophecies are presented as they are found in the books, completely spoiler free, with no comment as to when or if they've been fulfilled.
TIMELINE / GOING FORWARD
Well, up until now, I've done the best job I can at providing you with an accurate timeline. Going forward, things get difficult. I've made the choice to not continue the chapter dates for the last book, and I'll explain my reasoning for that in the trivia for the last book. Here is a quick section about the timeline as it stands now, with technical spoilers for the structure of the last book, but I don't think it's worth avoiding reading: As of the end of this book, everyone's storylines are in sync, with the "current date" being July 1st. The exception is the single Lan POV in the epilogue, which takes place on July 2nd. Now that the timelines are sync'd from the last two books, the final book will proceed linearly. You should more or less be able to tell how far along the story progresses and there will be no unannounced or unclear flashbacks. As I said above, I'll have a bit more to say about the timeline at the end of the next book, but I don't foresee any overt confusion about the progression of the story. You're welcome to ask, should you get confused, and I'll answer if I can.
Here is how long this book spanned: 71 days (or 70 days + Lan's epilogue scene on July 2). There was 42 days of overlap with The Gathering Storm.
It has been this long since the start of the series: 832 days (or 831 days + Lan's epilogue scene on July 2)
IN THE F@#CKING GLOSSARY?!
I didn't have a super detailed plan when I started the read-along. However, I did start some sections of the trivia solely because I knew there would be payoffs in later books. The glossary section of the trivia posts was one, and it has finally come to fruition. Prepare yourself to be whelmed! Graendal killed Asmodean. What?! you say? That came out of nowhere! Of course it did, unless you've read the glossary for this book:

Graendal: One of the Forsaken. Once known as Kamarile Maradim Nindar, a noted ascetic, she was the second of the Forsaken to decide to serve the Dark One. A ruthless killer, she was responsible for the deaths of Aran'gar and Asmodean and for the destruction of Mesaana. Her present circumstances are uncertain.

And the 10 book, 17 year long mystery came to a conclusion not with a bang, but a whimper. Though the reasoning behind this is pretty neat, in my opinion. I'll let Sanderson explain himself:

As for why the big secret was included in the glossary, I've said before that Harriet made the decision where it would go. I actually did suggest it, though I later changed my mind and thought I would put it in somewhere else, but she said, "No, I love this idea of the glossary." The reason I think that we like the glossary location so much is because the instruction I received from Robert Jordan was just a Post-It note that had written on it, "This is right," attached to a sheet of paper that was an explanation, one of the many, printed off from the internet, talking about who killed Asmodean. That Post-It note saying "This is right" was all there was—I didn't know the how, the why, the circumstances, any more than you know. So we felt that rather than extrapolate all of that ourselves, the best thing to do, as frustrating as it might be, was to give you the information much in the same way that we got it, as simply a "This is the person." That still allows a bit of theorizing on how this person was involved in the event, whether it was by her hand directly, or whether a servant was involved, or that sort of thing. That allows for theorizing.

In other interviews, Sanderson stated that one of the first things he did when getting access to Jordan's notes was sift through them to find Asmodean's killer. He first suggested putting it in the glossary to give readers the same experience he had of finding out the answer: not in the text of the story, but as a random note. Although, if you were paying super extra close attention, you may have noticed this line in the Epilogue: "Mesaana has fallen," Shaidar Haran whispered. "Three Chosen, destroyed by your actions. The design build, a lattice of failure, a framework of incompetence." Emphasis mine.
Robert Jordan repeatedly claimed the mystery of who killed Asmodean was "intuitively obvious to the most casual observer" and was confused as to why it was such a mystery to fans. 10 years prior to the release of Towers of Midnight, a fanfic depicting Sherlock Holmes deducing the identity of Asmodean's killer to Watson circulated among the fandom and became pretty popular. I don't think Sanderson ever confirmed it, but it is likely the article Jordan left the Post-It note on. Feel free to read the fanfic here. The page itself is free from spoilers of any sort.
SIMILAR SIMILARITIES
In the previous trivia post, for The Gathering Storm, I mentioned that Jordan wrote enough material to be spread across the prologues of the final three books. (As well as other scenes, but I won't be mentioned those until the end). This is the section written by Jordan in the prologue for this book: The fort in the Borderlands.
A comment on Mat's character: Some of you felt that Mat was a bit off last book. Sanderson agrees with you. He's commented before that Mat was one of the hardest characters for him to get right. In my opinion, he steadily increased each book and Mat is appropriately "himself" in A Memory of Light.
LITHIUM
Also mentioned in the last trivia post, the community gravitated towards the term "Darth Rand" when referring to Rand at his darkest moments. In this book, the community coined the term "Zen Rand" and you'll usually see that when referring to Rand in his current state. "Jesus Rand" is also another popular name for him.
LOVE PENTAGRAM > RHOMBUS OF LOVE
Rand's relationships are the source of countless discussion on /WoT and other Wheel of Time spaces. I call it the Rhombus of Love, but there isn't really a solidified fandom term for it. For all the talk it gets though, there is an even more powerful love polygon hidden in the background of the series. It often goes unnoticed, but is wild once you see an image of the Love Pentagram. I shall share the image here, without commentary. I think it speaks for itself.
JAIN FARSTRIDER DIED CLEAN
The circumstances surrounding Jain Farstrider are some of the longest running, deepest lore cuts in the entire series. I've considered bringing some of the information in this trivia to light at multiple points throughout the read-along, but it never felt appropriate. Given the opportunity, I would probably bring up some of this during the trivia for The Eye of the World. We (the vets) discussed it at the time and thought it would be too leading, but given how things turned out, it may have been more impactful to bring it up earlier than now. With that said, let's dive in...
We learn at the end of The Eye of the World that a man named Cowin Gemallan Fairheart, a nobleman of Malkier and Darkfriend, attempted a coup that ultimately resulted in the fall of Malkier. A young Jain Charin, already known as Jain Farstrider, was also a Malkieri, hunted Cowin down, bringing him back to the Seven Towers in chains. This happened around the year 955 NE. He would go on to publish his exploits in The Travels of Jain Farstrider in 968 NE, and then disappeared in 981 NE, after a trip into the Blight.
In Knife of Dreams, "Noal" is talking to Olver about Jain Farstrider, and says the following:

He was a fool ... He went gallivanting about the world and left a good and loving wife to die of a fever without him there to hold her hand while she died. He let himself be made into a tool by--

This is a reference all the way back to The Eye of the World, where Ba'alzamon made this claim:

"Jain Farstrider, a hero," he twisted the word to a sneer, "whom I painted like a fool and sent to the Ogier thinking he was free of me."

This is an event that Loial later recalls to Moiraine, telling her about a man who came to Stedding Shangtai shortly after the Aiel War, on the verge of death, but then vanished again after recovering: "He said the Dark One intended to blind the Eye of the World, and slay the Great Serpent, kill time itself." This was one of several trails that Ba'alzamon laid to lure Rand to the Eye of the World. This man was Jain Farstrider. This was the result of Compulsion and abuse by Ishamael. We don't know the specifics, but Ishamael essentially manipulated Jain into being a Darkfriend, and this is the deep dark secret Noal is ashamed of, because he never realizes it was Compulsion.
After he left the Ogier, he shed the Jain Farstrider identity and became Noal Charin. He devoted his life to hunting down other Darkfriends, trying to atone. The phrasing Ba'alazmon used, "thinking he was free of me," becomes relevant. Loial states that the man intended to go to Tar Valon to give them warning as well, but he never made it. He turns up again in the prologue of The Fires of Heaven. Rahvin goes to visit Graendal and notes the following:

a large room full of pools and fluted columns, nearly nude acrobats and attendants wearing less. Oddly, a lean old man in a wrinkled coat sat disconsolately among the performers.

So Jain eventually winds up in Graendal's clutches, undergoing even more Compulsion. It seems at some point, his usefulness ends and he is cast out. As Noal, he sometimes complains of difficulties with his memory, and this is the cause. Mat first runs into Noal in A Crown of Swords in Ebou Dar. Noal is watching Carridin (Bors) when Mat follows Mili Skane and watches her enter Carridin's palace there. Noal informs Mat that the place belongs to Carridin. The won't be properly introduced until Winter's Heart though, when Noal saves Mat from the gholam and Mat invites him to join his men.
Jain's sacrifice in the Tower of Ghenjei is his final attempt at redemption. He believes he abandoned his wife and became a Darkfriend. And he believes his countrymen, the Malkieri, know about his activities. His last request is essentially asking Mat to clear his name.
EMPLOYEES MUST WEAR HAIRNET AT ALL TIMES
This is a bit of trivia I cut from the Winter's Heart trivia post because it got too long. It concerns the ornaments Cadsuane wears in her hair. We do finally get a name for the set of ter'angreal Cadsuane wears in her hair. Rand calls it a "paralis-net". It seems to be a general term for a set of ter'angreal that work together. Nynaeve's set of jewelry that she wears might possibly be a paralis-net. And it's speculated that Lanfear had one as well, before Moiraine tackled her into the redstone doorway. She was always described as wearing silver pendants in the shapes of moons and stars. Cadsuane got hers from an old Wilder who trained her in the years shortly after she became an Aes Sedai. Below is a list of Cadsuane's ornaments and their functions. This information comes from a combination of the books and some information provided by Jordan's notes/interviews.

• A bird that looks "a little like a shrike" is an angreal, it is not very powerful but still steps her up to the top male level of strength, above any unaided woman
• A double ter'angreal in the shape of two intertwined crescent moons, facing one another and overlapping; they function like Mat's Foxhead medallion, causing flows directed at Cadsaune to dissipate and also warning that someone close is embracing the Power; they become cold, but do not distinguish between saidin and saidar (though they work on and warn of both).
• A ter'angreal in the shape of a hummingbird is a Well.
• A ter'angreal in the shape of an eight-pointed star with four long and four short wavy rays; it detects the ability of a man to channel within a distance of thirty or forty paces. But it did not identify which man inside that range could channel, only the presence of one. It vibrates in the presence of men who can channel, more so with increasing numbers.
• A ter'angreal in the shape of a bird that seems a swallow; it detects the use of every very small amount of saidin and saidar within as much as three miles; if held by its chain it would turn to point its beak to the direction of use. It can detect only saidin and saidar used alone, not combined.
• A ter'angreal in the shape of a six-pointed star. When triggered it forms a thin "armor" against the skin of the wearer. This protection is invisible except to whoever is using it. It protects against the blows of swords, knifes, arrows and even maces because it dissipates the force of the blow over the entire body, thus reducing it.
• A ter'angreal in the shape of a sleek fish with sharp fins. It enables the wearer to pull someone else into an involuntary circle under hehis control guiding the flows. It works only if the other person has already seized saidin or embraced saidar.
• A ter'angreal in the shape of a shadowed moon: a full moon disc with a part chiselled leaving a brightly burnished crescent. Its use is unknown.
• A ter'angreal in the shape of a leaping fish that looked like a trout. Its use is unknown.
• A ter'angreal in the shape of a fish that looked like a carp. Its use is unknown.

Cadsuane herself affirms that she does not know the purpose of some of the components. But we know from the fight against Semirhage that Cadsuane has a ter'angreal that disrupts weaves at close proximity. So one of the last three ornaments has this function. Here is an image of Cadsuane wearing her paralis-net.
PRECOCIOUS PUPIL
This is a quick bit of trivia about Nicola Treehill. Nicola spent the entire series trying to rush ahead of herself. She wanted to follow in Egwene's footsteps, but acted as kind of a foil to the advancement we see from the Wonder Girls. She met an untimely end when she entered Tel'aran'riod unauthorized. Egwene had given her a ter'angreal to pass some messages in the World of Dreams with the express purpose of baiting an attack from the Black Ajah. The bait worked, but Nicola used the ter'angreal during that battle and was kill in the crossfire. From Jordan's notes, it was revealed that, in true Nicola fashion, she rushed ahead and bonded her friend Areina (the woman who idolized Birgitte in Salidar) as her Warder. She likely died in a rage when Nicola died, however, the Companion lists her fate as "unknown", so it's possible she was saved.
ON GENDER AND SOULS
This is a quick commentary on how Jordan chose to do his world building. According to Robert Jordan, souls are gendered, and the ability to channel is tied to one's soul. The strength of a channeler's soul doesn't appear to vary. Although it can be influenced by physical properties temporarily, such as the Finn draining Moiraine and Lanfear; their reborn souls in another Age would return to their default/stronger values. Also, no one can channel during the 1st Age (our current Age), regardless of the soul's ability.
Jordan made a few comments in interviews, in reply to specific questions, that souls were gendered and seemingly always wind up in the correct bodies. The only attempt Jordan makes in the books to display anything like transgenderism is with Halima. I'd like to stress that this information comes from him answering on the spot question, usually in front of a large audience. I think that Jordan was ahead of his time in talking about gender dynamics, and he wanted to focus on that, and the zeitgeist of the time was centered around that. The entire language and terminology around transgender identities didn't even exist when Jordan was writing the series. I think if he started the series today, it would play a more prominent role in the story, and I don't think anyone should be told off for questioning and theorycrafting how a trans person would exist or function in the 3rd Age. I also don't think Jordan should be penalized for only being 20 years ahead of his time, instead of 30. He chose to build his world in a specific way and that's all he chose to focus on.
So that said, there were some user questions about female Dragons. Jordan stated that there was a female equivalent to the Dragon, but she would never be born in the 3rd Age and undergo Rand's journey. She'd never earn the title Dragon or Dragon reborn. Instead, he simple referred to her as the female Champion of the Light. Her name is Amaresu and she is a Hero of the Horn, just like Rand/LTT is. She is the real-world parallel to the Japanese Sun Goddess, Amaterasu.
WEAK SAUCE
Some information about Moiraine: In the trivia post for Winter's Heart, I provided you with a ranking of all the important channelers in the series with their strength levels. Moiraine's new, weakened strength is the only entry I left off of that list. Moiraine's reduced strength is level 66(54), which is 6 steps above Morgase. The angreal she possesses is so strong it's almost a sa'angreal. We don't know exactly how strong it makes her, but with it she is stronger than she was before the Finns took her.
SO TOWER, MUCH MIDNIGHT
This is a quick discussion about the meaning of this book's title, Towers of Midnight. Unlike some other books, the title for this book is maybe too obvious, or overly represented in the book. I went to go research, to make sure I got all of the meanings, and the top result was my own comment from 4 years ago. This happens about half the time I need to look something up about the Wheel of Time. I may comment way too much in this subreddit...
Anyway, hooray for my past self making this section easy to write. CTRL+C, CTRL+V: This is kind of a catch-all metaphor title. The literal Towers of Midnight (in Seanchan) include 13 towers, this is book 13. Lots of Black Tower machinations happen in this book. Black = Midnight Tower. Egwene has a Dream about various 13 towers rising and falling, which represent the 13 Forsaken (= Evil = Black = Midnight). Various "tower" related plots in general: Black Tower, White Tower, Tower of Genji. Seven Towers of Malkier if you want to stretch the metaphor to include Lan's journey in the book. The Epilogue/ending poem is the dark prophecy that includes mention of Perrin/Hopper and "Midnight Towers". All in all, it's more relevant than Knife of Dreams.
ADVANCED NORSE MYTHOLOGY
In this book, we have the culmination of Perrin's arch to embody the "real events" that led to the mythological Norse god Thor. He has crafted Mah'alleinir, which many of you caught sounds an awful lot like Mjölnir.
Way back in the trivia post for The Shadow Rising I outlined how Mat embodied Odin. I almost left out that section of the trivia because I thought it might be too leading. If you know your Norse mythology, you know that Odin only has one eye. Lesser known is why. In his thirst for knowledge, Odin plucked his own eye out and sacrificed it to the Well of Urd, allowing him to drink from it and gain knowledge/wisdom. It seems no one caught the similarities at the time. It wasn't until around The Path of Daggers when I introduced the prophecies wiki pages that some of you re-read through them and started theorizing about "half the light of the world".
VERIIIIIIIIIIIIN
There were many questions surrounding Verin's decision to drink poison and reveal herself to Egwene. This section tries to clear up the timeline and reasoning behind her actions. First, to address the questions I've seen of why Verin didn't tell Egwene about the attack in Caemlyn. If you've been paying attention, there have been a lot of letters with red wax seals in various characters' possession. Verin was very thorough in her delegation. She has been telling specific people specific things, relative to where they are in the world and what spheres of influence they have. She had limited time with Egwene and assumed she had Caemlyn handled with the letter she left Mat. Unfortunately, she underestimated how well she knew Matrim Cauthon.
And her letter to Mat is what sealed her doom. As I've mentioned, the timeline of these two books is nebulous at best. The reason Verin poisoned herself was because she couldn't violate her Oaths to the Dark One. She had to be dead before the date Mat could/would have opened the letter, because in that letter she betrays the Dark One. Had she been able to release herself of the Oaths with the Oath Rod, she could have Travelled back to Mat, taken the letter, and just told him about the attack. With limited time due to her misunderstanding of Mat's stubbornness, she made the choice to poison herself and reveal what she knew about the Black Ajah to Egwene.
Also, because I couldn't find a better time to mention it. I saw some comments speculating, but I just want to confirm that Verin did use her custom form of Compulsion on all of the White Tower Aes Sedai that were captured at Dumai's Wells. She Compelled them all to swear fealty to Rand, even Elza Penfell, who she knew was a member of the Black Ajah.
LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE, PART 2
In the 2000's and 2010's a website called suvudu.com (gone now, it redirects you to one of those spam celebrity article sites) ran yearly "tournaments" where they pitted characters from popular sci-fi and fantasy novels against each other in death matches. The authors of the respective books were invited to write short stories about how they thought such a fight would play out. Wheel of Time characters featured prominently in 3 different years. I'll share one in the trivia of each of these last 3 books (for spoiler purposes, do not go searching them out).
The 2011 match ups featured Perrin. He was paired up against Tasslehoff Burrfoot from the Dragonlance series, which he won. Perrin then lost in his next round against Quick Ben from the Malazan series. Sanderson didn't do extensive write-ups this year, but he did have the following to say about Perrin's match up with Tasslehoff:

Perrin against Tasslehoff. Really. We're doing this? Okay, well, here's what we've got. Perrin is an extremely skilled fighter whose very nature (being ta'veren) causes probability to warp around him and bring to him the things and people he needs at the moments he needs them. He has a power-forged hammer, the allegiance of tens of thousands of trained soldiers, and the ability to call upon hundreds of wolves if he really needed to. He is a berserker on the battlefield, and has the power to move in the World of Dreams, where he has near-absolute control of his surroundings. He is guarded by Aiel warriors and two powerful Asha'man who can wield the One Power that made Rand such a force in the previous tournament.
Tasslehoff has a stick that throws rocks.
Okay, I'm underplaying it. Tas is a clever, brave little guy. (Actually, I think he may be immune to fear or something.) He's prone to have a few tricks up his sleeves, magic items stolen here or there. But he's also got a childlike view of the world, and has nowhere near the ruthlessness that Perrin has been forced by fate to learn. Tas can't win this fight. I declare that this battle plays out like so: Tas defaults on his match by not showing up. He's off picking Jon Snow's pockets. Perrin wins. (And Wheel of Time fans, don't prove me wrong. We'll never live it down if Perrin loses to Tasslehoff.)

MORE ANIMATED BATTLES
In the trivia post for The Path of Daggers, I shared some YouTube videos, created by Luinedhel, that depicted various battles in the series in an animated fashion. Feel free to take your time to watch these and comment on them later if you'd like.
Important: I try really hard to keep you all spoiler free. The only thing I can't control are external resources like this that I link to you. I would strongly suggest a few actions on your part to help remain spoiler free. First, don't like or subscribe (though, after the read-along, doing so would benefit the YouTuber). You should be fine to watch the video as an embedded link, but if it takes you directly to YouTube to watch it, try to find a way to watch it incognito. Both of these are to prevent being suggested other videos by him, or other YouTubers that may have spoilery titles. Lastly, do not read the comments or descriptions of the videos, or look at any of the recommended videos. (The end card suggested videos may seem safe, but I've watched all of them by this user. The other ones have subtle spoilers for the last book and should be avoided. I'll share this channel again in the final trivia post and it will then be safe to watch the rest of the videos.)
The first video is The Battle of Shadar Logoth, otherwise known as the Cleansing. I would have shared this video earlier, but it spoils the hammer Perrin creates in this book.
The next two videos are The Battle of Serana and The Battle of Darluna, which illustrate Rodel Ituralde's campaign against the Seanchan on the Almoth Plain.
The next video is The Battle of the Malvide Narrows; Mat's campaign against the Seanchan as he attempts to flee Altara.
This video is The Battle of Malden, which shows Perrin's assault on the town of Malden in order to free a captive Faile.
The last video is The Battle of Tar Valon and outlines the Seanchan raid on the White Tower.
MEMES
We have a sister subreddit called /WetlanderHumor. /WoT does not allow memes, so /WetlanderHumor is the place for them. Unfortunately, it's only open to people who have finished the series, since they do not have any sort of spoiler policies. I've personally vetted these memes, so you will not be spoiled for anything beyond the end of this book.
CLICK HERE FOR MEMES
READER QUESTIONS
There were a few questions asked by various readers throughout the read through of this book. They did not receive clear answers from other readers, or explicitly from the books, so I will be answering them here. I will be including that section as a stickied comment below.

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Who Not How The Formula to Achieve Bigger Goals Through Accelerating Teamwork Awaken the Giant Within Audiobook By Anthony Robbins cover art 94. Awaken the Giant Within By: Anthony Robbins Getting Things Done Audiobook By David Allen cover art 95. Getting Things Done The Art of Stress-Free Productivity By: David Allen The Creature from Jekyll Island Audiobook By G. Edward Griffin cover art 96. The Creature from Jekyll Island A Second Look at the Federal Reserve By: G. Edward Griffin Way of the Wolf Audiobook By Jordan Belfort cover art 97. Way of the Wolf Straight Line Selling: Master the Art of Persuasion, Influence, and Success By: Jordan Belfort Think Faster, Talk Smarter Audiobook By Matt Abrahams cover art 98. Think Faster, Talk Smarter How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot By: Matt Abrahams Unleash the Power Within Audiobook By Tony Robbins cover art 99. Unleash the Power Within Personal Coaching to Transform Your Life! What to Say When You Talk to Your Self Audiobook By Shad Helmstetter PhD cover art 100. What to Say When You Talk to Your Self By: Shad Helmstetter PhD 1. The Art of War 2. Think and Grow Rich 3. Change Your Paradigm, Change Your Life 4. The Motive 5. The Compound Effect Reinvent Your Life With Mel Robbins Podcast with Mel Robbins cover art 6. Reinvent Your Life With Mel Robbins 7. The 10X Rule 8. The 6 Habits of Growth 9. Six-Figure Side Hustle 10. The Energy Bus 11. Plan Your Year Like a Millionaire 12. The First 90 Days, Updated and Expanded 13. The Complete Book of Five Rings 14. 33 Strategies of War 15. No Excuses! 16. What to Say When You Talk to Your Self The Goal Audiobook By Eliyahu M. Goldratt, Jeff Cox cover art 17. The Goal A Process of Ongoing Improvement - 30th Anniversary Edition By: Eliyahu M. Goldratt, Jeff Cox The Book of Five Rings Audiobook By Miyamoto Musashi, William Scott Wilson - translator cover art 18. The Book of Five Rings By: Miyamoto Musashi, William Scott Wilson - translator The Psychology of Selling Audiobook By Brian Tracy cover art 19. The Psychology of Selling Increase Your Sales Faster and Easier Than You Ever Thought Possible How to Talk to Anybody, Anytime, Anywhere Audiobook By Chris Widener cover art 20. How to Talk to Anybody, Anytime, Anywhere 3 Steps to Make Instant Connections By: Chris Widener Caffeine Audiobook By Michael Pollan cover art 21. Caffeine How Caffeine Created the Modern World By: Michael Pollan Small Business for Dummies Audiobook By Eric Tyson MBA, Jim Schell cover art 22. Small Business for Dummies 5th Edition By: Eric Tyson MBA, Jim Schell Buy Then Build Audiobook By Walker Deibel cover art 23. Buy Then Build How Acquisition Entrepreneurs Outsmart the Startup Game By: Walker Deibel Overcoming Imposter Syndrome Audiobook By Kelly Vincent, The Great Courses cover art 24. Overcoming Imposter Syndrome By: Kelly Vincent, The Great Courses The Science of Getting Rich Audiobook By Wallace D. Wattles cover art 25. The Science of Getting Rich By: Wallace D. Wattles Million Dollar Habits Audiobook By Brian Tracy cover art 26. Million Dollar Habits Proven Power Practices to Double and Triple Your Income The 10X Mentor Audiobook By Grant Cardone cover art 27. The 10X Mentor The Secrets of Closing the Sale Audiobook By Zig Ziglar, Tom Ziglar cover art 28. The Secrets of Closing the Sale Included Bonus: Selling with Emotional Logic By: Zig Ziglar, Tom Ziglar El Poder de la Gratitud [The Power of Gratitude] Audiobook By Marc Reklau cover art 29. El Poder de la Gratitud [The Power of Gratitude] By: Marc Reklau How to Work with Anyone Audiobook By Raluca Graebner, The Great Courses cover art 30. How to Work with Anyone By: Raluca Graebner, The Great Courses You Were Born Rich Audiobook By Bob Proctor cover art 31. You Were Born Rich How to Be a Great Boss Audiobook By Gino Wickman, René Boer cover art 32. How to Be a Great Boss By: Gino Wickman, René Boer 100 Ways to Create Wealth Audiobook By Sam Beckford, Steve Chandler cover art 33. 100 Ways to Create Wealth By: Sam Beckford, Steve Chandler Designing Data-Intensive Applications Audiobook By Martin Kleppmann cover art 34. Designing Data-Intensive Applications The Big Ideas Behind Reliable, Scalable, and Maintainable Systems By: Martin Kleppmann Do Epic Shit Audiobook By Ankur Warikoo cover art 35. Do Epic Shit By: Ankur Warikoo Soundtracks Audiobook By Jon Acuff cover art 36. Soundtracks The Surprising Solution to Overthinking By: Jon Acuff The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster Audiobook By Darren Hardy cover art 37. The Entrepreneur Roller Coaster Why Now Is the Time to #JointheRide Positive Intelligence Audiobook By Shirzad Chamine cover art 38. Positive Intelligence Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours By: Shirzad Chamine Financial Intelligence Audiobook By Karen Berman, Joe Knight cover art 39. Financial Intelligence A Manager's Guide to Knowing What the Numbers Really Mean By: Karen Berman, Joe Knight Get Sht Done Audiobook By Jeffrey Gitomer cover art 40. Get Sht Done The Ultimate Guide to Productivity, Procrastination, & Profitability By: Jeffrey Gitomer Five Minds for the Future Audiobook By Howard Gardner cover art 41. Five Minds for the Future By: Howard Gardner Entrena tu mente [Train Your Mind] Audiobook By Chris Bailey cover art 42. Entrena tu mente [Train Your Mind] Explora los beneficios de la meditación para ser productivo [Explore the Benefits of Meditation to Be Productive] By: Chris Bailey The Decision Coach: How to Make Big Choices Podcast with Nell McShane Wulfhart cover art 43. The Decision Coach: How to Make Big Choices Thinking Big Audiobook By Zig Ziglar, Les Brown, Larry Iverson, Laura Stack, Bob Proctor, Marcia Wieder, Chris Widener, Sheil 44. Thinking Big Achieving Greatness One Thought at a Time By: Zig Ziglar, Les Brown, Larry Iverson, Laura Stack, Bob Proctor, Marcia Wieder, Chris Widener, Sheila Murray Bethel, Mark Sanborn The Secret Life of Groceries Audiobook By Benjamin Lorr cover art 45. The Secret Life of Groceries The Dark Miracle of the American Supermarket By: Benjamin Lorr The Worthy Mind Audiobook By Meadow DeVor cover art 46. The Worthy Mind Transform Your Mindset. Strengthen Self-Worth. By: Meadow DeVor On the Line with Daymond John: Real Conversations. Real Business Advice. Podcast with Daymond John cover art 47. On the Line with Daymond John: Real Conversations. Real Business Advice. The Innovator's Dilemma Audiobook By Clayton M. Christensen cover art 48. The Innovator's Dilemma When New Technologies Cause Great Firms to Fail By: Clayton M. Christensen Business Secrets from the Bible Audiobook By Daniel Lapin cover art 49. Business Secrets from the Bible Spiritual Success Strategies for Financial Abundance By: Daniel Lapin The Toyota Way (Second Edition) Audiobook By Jeffrey Liker cover art 50. The Toyota Way (Second Edition) 14 Management Principles from the World's Greatest Manufacturer By: Jeffrey Liker Own It Audiobook By Diane von Furstenberg cover art 51. Own It The Secret to Life By: Diane von Furstenberg The 33 Strategies of War Audiobook By Robert Greene cover art 52. The 33 Strategies of War Business Wars (Ad-free) Podcast By Wondery cover art 53. Business Wars (Ad-free) Only the Paranoid Survive Audiobook By Andrew S. Grove cover art 54. Only the Paranoid Survive How to Exploit the Crisis Points That Challenge Every Company By: Andrew S. Grove If You're Not First, You're Last Audiobook By Grant Cardone cover art 55. If You're Not First, You're Last Sales Strategies to Dominate Your Market and Beat Your Competition The No Complaining Rule Audiobook By Jon Gordon cover art 56. The No Complaining Rule Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity at Work The Power of Consistency Audiobook By Weldon Long cover art 57. The Power of Consistency Prosperity Mindset Training for Sales and Business Professionals By: Weldon Long Oversubscribed Audiobook By Daniel Priestley cover art 58. Oversubscribed How to Get People Lined Up to Do Business with You (2nd Edition) By: Daniel Priestley You Become What You Think About Audiobook By Vic Johnson cover art 59. You Become What You Think About How Your Mind Creates the World You Live in By: Vic Johnson Objections Audiobook By Jeb Blount, Mark Hunter - foreword by cover art 60. Objections The Ultimate Guide for Mastering the Art and Science of Getting past No By: Jeb Blount, Mark Hunter - foreword by The Fearless Organization Audiobook By Amy C. Edmondson cover art 61. The Fearless Organization Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth By: Amy C. Edmondson Napoleon Hill's Master Course Audiobook By Napoleon Hill cover art 62. Napoleon Hill's Master Course The Original Science of Success Overcoming the Five Dysfunctions of a Team Audiobook By Patrick Lencioni cover art 63. Overcoming the Five Dysfunctions of a Team A Field Guide for Leaders, Managers, and Facilitators Secrets of Six-Figure Women Audiobook By Barbara Stanny cover art 64. Secrets of Six-Figure Women Surprising Strategies to up Your Earnings and Change Your Life By: Barbara Stanny Finding Your Purpose Audiobook By Christine Whelan cover art 65. Finding Your Purpose By: Christine Whelan Public Speaking for Success Audiobook By Dale Carnegie cover art 66. Public Speaking for Success A Handbook for New Stoics Audiobook By Massimo Pigliucci, Gregory Lopez cover art 67. A Handbook for New Stoics How to Thrive in a World out of Your Control; 52 Week-by-Week Lessons By: Massimo Pigliucci, Gregory Lopez Free to Focus Audiobook By Michael Hyatt cover art 68. Free to Focus A Total Productivity System to Achieve More by Doing Less By: Michael Hyatt Hook Point Audiobook By Brendan Kane cover art 69. Hook Point How to Stand Out in a 3-Second World By: Brendan Kane Ready, Fire, Aim Audiobook By Michael Masterson cover art 70. Ready, Fire, Aim Zero to $100 Million in No Time Flat By: Michael Masterson 30 Days - Change Your Habits, Change Your Life Audiobook By Marc Reklau cover art 71. 30 Days - Change Your Habits, Change Your Life A Couple of Simple Steps Every Day to Create the Life You Want The Trusted Advisor Audiobook By David H. Maister, Robert M. Galford, Charles H. Green cover art 72. The Trusted Advisor 20th Anniversary Edition By: David H. Maister, Robert M. Galford, Charles H. Green Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life Audiobook By Brian Tracy cover art 73. Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life How to Unlock Your Full Potential for Success and Achievement You Too, Can Be Prosperous Audiobook By Robert A. Russell cover art 74. You Too, Can Be Prosperous By: Robert A. Russell Venture Deals, 4th Edition Audiobook By Brad Feld, Jason Mendelson cover art 75. Venture Deals, 4th Edition Be Smarter than Your Lawyer and Venture Capitalist By: Brad Feld, Jason Mendelson The Power of Self-Compassion Audiobook By Laurie J. Cameron cover art 76. The Power of Self-Compassion By: Laurie J. Cameron The Art of Closing the Sale Audiobook By Brian Tracy cover art 77. The Art of Closing the Sale The Key to Making More Money Faster in the World of Professional Selling The Power of Self-Confidence Audiobook By Brian Tracy cover art 78. The Power of Self-Confidence Become Unstoppable, Irresistible, and Unafraid in Every Area of Your Life Change Your Questions, Change Your Life Audiobook By Marilee Adams cover art 79. Change Your Questions, Change Your Life 10 Powerful Tools for Life and Work, 2nd Edition, Revised and Expanded By: Marilee Adams The Anatomy of Peace, Expanded Second Edition Audiobook By The Arbinger Institute cover art 80. The Anatomy of Peace, Expanded Second Edition Resolving the Heart of Conflict By: The Arbinger Institute The Wealth Choice Audiobook By Dennis Kimbro cover art 81. The Wealth Choice Success Secrets of Black Millionaires By: Dennis Kimbro Habits for Action Podcast By Dr Tim Sharp cover art 82. Habits for Action How to Stop the Excuses and Do What You Know You Should People Buy You Audiobook By Jeb Blount cover art 83. People Buy You The Real Secret to What Matters Most in Business By: Jeb Blount Influencer Audiobook By Brittany Hennessy cover art 84. Influencer By: Brittany Hennessy 77 secretos para la prosperidad y la abundancia [77 Secrets for Prosperity and Abundance] Audiobook By Pável Ivá 85. 77 secretos para la prosperidad y la abundancia [77 Secrets for Prosperity and Abundance] By: Pável Iván Gutiérrez The Tax and Legal Playbook Audiobook By Mark J. Kohler cover art 86. The Tax and Legal Playbook Game-Changing Solutions To Your Small Business Questions, 2nd Edition By: Mark J. Kohler You Can't Teach a Kid to Ride a Bike at a Seminar Audiobook By David Mattson - foreword, David H. Sandler cover art 87. You Can't Teach a Kid to Ride a Bike at a Seminar Sandler Training's 7-Step System for Successful Selling (2nd Edition) By: David Mattson - foreword, David H. Sandler This Year Will Be Different Audiobook By Domonique Bertolucci cover art 88. This Year Will Be Different 8 Ways to Enjoy Life More, Regardless of What It Throws at You By: Domonique Bertolucci Business Movers (Ad-free) Podcast By Wondery cover art 89. Business Movers (Ad-free) Homeless to Billionaire Audiobook By Andres Pira, Dr. Joe Vitale - collaborator cover art 90. Homeless to Billionaire The 18 Principles of Wealth Attraction and Creating Unlimited Opportunity By: Andres Pira, Dr. Joe Vitale - collaborator Grinding It Out Audiobook By Ray Kroc, Robert Anderson cover art 91. Grinding It Out The Making of McDonald's By: Ray Kroc, Robert Anderson Limited Liability Companies for Dummies Audiobook By Jennifer Reuting cover art 92. Limited Liability Companies for Dummies 3rd Edition By: Jennifer Reuting Why Motivating People Doesn't Work...and What Does Audiobook By Susan Fowler cover art 93. Why Motivating People Doesn't Work...and What Does The New Science of Leading, Energizing, and Engaging By: Susan Fowler Get Smart Audiobook By Brian Tracy cover art 94. Get Smart How to Think and Act Like the Most Successful and Highest-Paid People in Every Field The Great CEO Within Audiobook By Matt Mochary, Alex MacCaw, Misha Talavera cover art 95. The Great CEO Within The Tactical Guide to Company Building By: Matt Mochary, Alex MacCaw, Misha Talavera 4 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotage Audiobook By Judy Ho cover art 96. 4 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotage By: Judy Ho Be a People Person Audiobook By John C. Maxwell cover art 97. Be a People Person Effective Leadership Through Effective Relationships The Peebles Principles Audiobook By R. Donahue Peebles cover art 98. The Peebles Principles Tales and Tactics from an Entrepreneur's Life of Winning Deals, Succeeding in Business, and Creating a Fortune from Scratch By: R. Donahue Peebles Cracking the Code to a Successful Interview Audiobook By Evan Pellett cover art 99. Cracking the Code to a Successful Interview 15 Insider Secrets from a Top-Level Recruiter By: Evan Pellett Conversationally Speaking Audiobook By Alan Garner cover art 100. Conversationally Speaking Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness By: Alan Garner 2. Supercommunicators 3. The Mountain Is You 4. How to Win Friends & Influence People 5. Hidden Potential 6. Never Split the Difference 7. How to Talk to Anyone 9. Worthy 10. Hábitos atómicos (Español neutro) 11. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People 12. 12 Months to $1 Million Sale ends in 22d 14h 7m 6s 13. Never Finished 14. The Laws of Human Nature 15. Thinking, Fast and Slow 16. The 5AM Club 17. The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: 25th Anniversary 18. Slow Productivity 19. Burn Book 20. Start with Why 21. Your Next Five Moves 22. $100M Leads 23. Atlas of the Heart 24. No Bad Parts 25. Dare to Lead 26. $100M Offers 27. The Five Dysfunctions of a Team 28. Co-Intelligence 30. Million Dollar Weekend 31. 10x Is Easier than 2x 32. The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry 33. Think Again 34. Leaders Eat Last 35. Influence, New and Expanded 36. Good to Great 37. How to Win Friends and Influence People 38. The Total Money Makeover 39. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People 40. Mindset 41. Mastery 42. Crucial Conversations (Third Edition) 43. Traction 44. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 45. Choose Your Enemies Wisely Relentless Audiobook By Tim S. Grover, Shari Wenk cover art 46. Relentless 47. Deep Work The Dichotomy of Leadership Audiobook By Jocko Willink, Leif Babin cover art 48. The Dichotomy of Leadership Balancing the Challenges of Extreme Ownership to Lead and Win 49. The 12 Week Year 50. Think Faster, Talk Smarter 51. Same as Ever 52. The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich (Expanded and Updated) 53. Surrounded by Idiots 54. The Obstacle Is the Way 55. Principles 56. Outwitting the Devil 57. Endure 58. Zero to One 59. Letting Go 61. Outliers 62. Money: Master the Game 63. The Millionaire Next Door 64. The Creature from Jekyll Island 65. Buy Back Your Time 66. Building a StoryBrand 67. Daring Greatly The Ideal Team Player Audiobook By Patrick M. Lencioni cover art 68. The Ideal Team Player How to Recognize and Cultivate the Three Essential Virtues: A Leadership Fable Manifest Now Audiobook By Idil Ahmed cover art 69. Manifest Now By: Idil Ahmed A Book of Five Rings Audiobook By Miyamoto Musashi cover art 70. A Book of Five Rings The Strategy of Musashi By: Miyamoto Musashi 71. Die with Zero 72. From Strength to Strength 73. Going Infinite Kick Ass with Mel Robbins Audiobook By Mel Robbins cover art 74. Kick Ass with Mel Robbins Life-Changing Advice from the Author of “The 5 Second Rule” By: Mel Robbins Sale ends in 22d 14h 6m 43s The Daily Laws Audiobook By Robert Greene cover art 75. The Daily Laws 366 Meditations on Power, Seduction, Mastery, Strategy, and Human Nature The Book on Rental Property Investing Audiobook By Brandon Turner cover art 76. The Book on Rental Property Investing How to Create Wealth and Passive Income Through Smart Buy & Hold Real Estate Investing By: Brandon Turner 77. Scars and Stripes 78. Secrets of the Millionaire Mind 79. Who Moved My Cheese? Stop Doing That Sht Audiobook By Gary John Bishop cover art 80. Stop Doing That Sht End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back By: Gary John Bishop Series: Unfu*k Yourself How to Day Trade for a Living Audiobook By Andrew Aziz cover art 81. How to Day Trade for a Living A Beginner's Guide to Trading Tools and Tactics, Money Management, Discipline and Trading Psychology By: Andrew Aziz 82. The Daily Stoic 83. The Gap and the Gain 84. The Power of One More 85. The E-Myth Revisited Profit First Audiobook By Mike Michalowicz cover art 87. Profit First Transform Your Business from a Cash-Eating Monster to a Money-Making Machine By: Mike Michalowicz 88. Essentialism 89. Who Not How Uptime Audiobook By Laura Mae Martin cover art 90. Uptime A Practical Guide to Personal Productivity and Wellbeing By: Laura Mae Martin The Effective Executive Audiobook By Peter F. Drucker cover art 91. The Effective Executive The Definitive Guide to Getting the Right Things Done By: Peter F. Drucker Quiet Audiobook By Susan Cain cover art 92. Quiet The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking By: Susan Cain 93. Unleash the Power Within The Infinite Game Audiobook By Simon Sinek cover art 94. The Infinite Game The 50th Law Audiobook By 50 Cent, Robert Greene cover art 96. The 50th Law By: 50 Cent, Robert Greene 97. Awaken the Giant Within Blink Audiobook By Malcolm Gladwell cover art 98. Blink The Power of Thinking Without Thinking 99. Ego Is the Enemy Eat That Frog! Audiobook By Brian Tracy cover art 100. Eat That Frog! 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less

It's no secret that one of my least favorite Dhar Mann tropes is having everything end in some sort of setup instead of actually teaching characters a lesson. Here are the 10 Dhar Mann setups I dislike the most.

1. "I wish I had a new mom"(Gen-Z Girl Won't Listen to Mom): I just reviewed this video, so I'll keep this one brief, but this mom has a daughter who won't listen to her, so then she puts on a shitty disguise that most 16-year-olds would see right through, and teaches her a lesson about how the grass isn't always greener. Perhaps not as bad as Daughters Trade Both Their Moms, but in that video, the girls were part of the plan while this is a more traditional Dhar Mann setup.
   
2. Selling bags for a new iPhone(Little Sister Steals from Big Sister): First off, the mom in this video was being kind of an asshole to begin with, saying that because her old phone works fine means Kenzie's newer phone absolutely does too. So in order for a new iPhone, Kenzie sells her sister's bags online and when she goes home to get them, they're gone. She keeps getting calls from a random number(presumably the customer), which she ignores, until the police are about to arrest Kenzie, then mom and big sister tell her it was all a setup and they knew what she did the entire time. I know it's wrong to steal, but did you seriously need to make her think she was getting arrested? Then, in another twist nobody could've seen coming, mom tells Kenzie she bought her a new iPhone as a present, but doesn't give it to her and instead, gives her her old iPhone 4.
   
3. Fake Jordans(Means Boys Shame Kid's Poor Shoes): This one was completely unnecessary. A kid named Eddie is shamed for his cheap shoes(which are Air Forces, which I don't even think are that cheap btw), so he steals his brother's new Jordans to wear to a party. But after a bully scuffs them, he swaps the real shoes for fakes. The brother then tries selling the shoes, and the customer realizes the shoes are fake and is about to beat up the brother, but Eddie confesses to swapping the shoes for fakes. Then the brother tells Eddie it was a setup and he knew they were fake instantly. Then to top it all off, the brother tells Eddie the shoes were his early birthday gift. THEN WHY NOT JUST GIVE HIM THE SHOES TO WEAR TO THE FUCKING BIRTHDAY PARTY??!! Is making him think you might be the victim of a violent crime really better than giving him his birthday gift a couple days early?
   
4. Babysitter gets kid kidnapped(Babysitter Abandons the Child): Yet another Dhar Mann parent with no self awareness. After letting his older daughter Brittney babysit her little sister Carla, this dad is skeptical of Brittney. So Brittney takes Carla to the mall and later she disappears. Brittney goes home freaking out thinking Carla was kidnapped, only to find out the fake kidnapper worked for the dad and it was all a prank. The dad even has the nerve to say "don't turn this around on me". YES!! I will turn this around on you because you're an awful parent. To make matters worse, this video has a sequel where Carla actually gets kidnapped and Brittney of course thinks it's another prank. And the dipshit father STILL has no self awareness. I honestly can't blame Brittney for thinking it was another setup.
   
5. Killed granny? Just kidding(Fake Trainer Gives Granny a Heart Attack): Holy shit this video's a doozy. Ignoring the hypocrisy of female on male sexual harassment being played for laughs, it also has a bad setup. So Adam is training old people to impress his crush, and later on, his crush's grandmother is having a heart attack. A paramedic assists granny and asks Adam if he's a real trainer, then Adam confesses about how he had a crush on her granddaughter and pretended to be a trainer. Only for everyone to reveal it was all a setup because one worker overheard Adam talking to his friend. WHY are we scaring the antagonist with death? This is too far.
   
6. Pranking the Pranksters(Teacher Gets Revenge on Students) Kind of ironic how a video that's supposed to teach kids not to pull pranks ends with a teacher and some students pulling an even worse prank than the antagonists. So Frank the Prankster and his buddy Blake keep pranking everyone at the school, and they're all fed up with their pranks. So after Frank and Blake's big prank, the teacher is unconscious from a heart attack, and one student who left in fear was hit by a car. Frank and Blake feel genuinely terrible only to find out it was all a prank and the driver of the car was the girl's aunt. SCARING STUDENTS WITH DEATH IS NOT FUNNY!!! This message of this video comes off less like "don't pull pranks because it's wrong" and more like "don't pull pranks because someone might prank you back but a lot worse".
   
7. "My dog ate my homework"(Kid Says Dog Ate His Homework): I can't believe I almost forgot this one. So let me get this straight, your son tells the absolute most mundane lie in history and instead of having a simple chat with him, you decide to make him think his dog needs emergency surgery to get a confession out of him? What the fuck? This was one of the first videos I instantly hated and that was because of how harsh Dakota's punishments were for something so mundane. As if Dakota really needed to be grounded after being traumatized to death. And then, they wouldn't even let him have any fucking pizza at the end. WHY?
   
8. Faking Death to Get Family to Visit(Siblings Won't Visit Their Mom): Remember the TikToker who faked his death to teach his extended family a lesson for not reaching out? Even though he got universal hate, Dhar decided to take inspiration from him. An elderly mom named Ruth is upset her children have their own lives and never visit. It eventually escalates to the point where the dad tells the kids Ruth passed away, and then she shows up at her funeral saying she didn't know how to get her kids to visit. The kids are apologetic for not visiting. I call bullshit on this. I would be furious if someone pulled this kind of stunt on me. If you miss your kids so bad, you go visit them. You have time now that you're retiring. I understand wanting to feel loved and appreciated, but ANYTHING is better than making your loved ones think you fucking died.
   
9. Road Rage Kidnapping(Road Rage Driver Goes Too Far): You all knew it was coming. I really have nothing new to say about this one, just that Amy is an absolute psychopath for making Mark think he and his son are getting killed and kidnapped over what, in the grand scheme of things, is a pretty mundane Road Rage incident, and something Mark had a right to be angry at.
   
10. Fart Bucket(Just in general): I wanted to limit this list to one setup per character, but Kathy has done so many fucked up setups that can't be ignored, so I decided to just give her her own slot otherwise she would take up like half this list. While Amy's setup was worse than any of Fart Bucket's setups individually, the fact that this character KEEPS pulling these setups is what makes her top this list. First, she wastes hospital resource and puts a fake syringe in Mikey's arm, all because he skipped a test. Then she puts him in a jail cell WITH A REAL CRIMINAL for taking her money when she could've just told the bank teller to not give him access. Then she sets up the scheme to get a confession out of him for the plane landing, which while a serious crime, that type of confession would not hold up in court. But the worst of all is in the murder mystery video. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING YOUR SON THINK YOU WERE THE VICTIM OF AN ATTEMPTED MURDER!!?? And why are you making him and his friend badly hurt each other? But it's okay, they have a YouTube channel now. That doesn't make it any fucking better. You could just tell them "hey, if you want to make videos, just go for it", maybe even give them some ideas, but don't use psychological torment to give them what they want. Fuck Fart Bucket.
    

Do you think I missed any? Comment your thoughts below.

Previously, on Hell’s Kitchen…
The chefs participated in the grill challenge to prepare them for the highly-anticipated Steak Night service. After a tightly contested battle, it was the blue team that emerged victorious thanks to Lauren’s dish, and not only won the grills they had cooked on, but earned an exciting afternoon at an amusement park reserved just for them. Back in Hell’s Kitchen, the red team were punished by being made to clean the grills and prep both kitchens for service,
Chef Ramsay was hoping for Steak Night to bring out the best in both teams, but instead, it turned into a letdown thanks to the red team’s floundering appetizer station, and a meat station in the blue kitchen that struggled so much that two chefs were kicked out before the night was over. While both teams managed to serve all their tables, Ramsay was not happy, and declared both teams losers. However, he did name one chef from each team as a standout. From the blue team, Travis, and from the red team, Melody. Ramsay gave them each the responsibility of choosing two of their teammates to put up for elimination.
At elimination, even though most of the blue team wanted Grace gone, Travis chose..
Travis: “Jordan”
And…
Travis: “Carole.”
Meanwhile, Melody knew that her team wanted Shane out, but she decided to nominate…
Melody: “Priya.”
And…
Melody: “Deidra.”
Ramsay eliminated Jordan first, but in a shocking twist, announced he was not done, and sent Priya home immediately afterwards. With this double elimination, Chef Ramsay has made it clear that he is running out of patience and is desperate for these chefs to begin emerging. In the end, only one will claim the $250,000 grand prize and become the executive chef at Gordon Ramsay Steak in Vancouver, British Columbia.
https://reddit.com/link/1bwyd7q/video/l2hmg3v9arsc1/player
And now, the continuation of Hell’s Kitchen…
After a double elimination that caught just about everyone off guard, Ramsay told the chefs to fuck off, and they returned to the dorms in silence. Faye said in a confessional that she wished Shane had gone home due to the constant drama he started amongst the red team, though she respected Melody’s choice. Some of her teammates were less understanding, however, and as they entered the dorm, Deidra finally cut loose on Melody and wanted to know how the hell she deserved to go home before Shane. Melody defended herself saying it was based on their performances in service, but Ramona and Everett agreed that they would’ve preferred Shane to leave over Priya. Shane chimed in and said that Melody simply realized he was a bigger asset to the team than Deidra, which rekindled their bickering. Melody went off to sit alone and was joined by Faye and Michael, as she told them she wanted to do the right thing, but she also wanted to get along with the team. Faye said that sometimes, that was impossible, and that her true friends would understand the choices she made, which Michael agreed with.
On the blue team’s side, Lauren, Thomas and Adele were annoyed that Grace was still here, with Thomas saying in a confessional that the blue team would struggle to win anything as long as she kept dragging them down, and it would put all the burden on chefs like himself, Lauren and Travis to carry the team. Adele said that things were way too gloomy right now and called out to Sandro, telling him to crack some jokes to lighten the mood up. Grace overheard and told them to keep laughing it up, because she was the only one taking this seriously, then went into the bedroom by herself. Grace said in her confessional that she couldn’t wait to see everyone else go home and have her work and dedication rewarded. Meanwhile, Travis was talking to Carole, asking her how she felt after her first nomination. Carole joked that she had been scared straight and would not be making a habit of going up there. Travis replied that he was glad, because the blue team needed all hands on deck, and he knew she was a strong chef.
With the air cleared between Travis and Carole, and Melody still hoping she could find a way to not have the red team turn on her, the teams eventually turned in for the night.
Challenge
The next day, the chefs went downstairs and found Ramsay standing in front of a display of several ingredients and two tables. Ramsay told the chefs that after the disappointment of steak night, he needed to continue to test their ability to adapt, and that was why in the next service, Hell’s Kitchen would feature several surf and turf items on the menu. He went on to briefly explain the popularity of surf and turf, and the virtually limitless amount of potential combinations. To that end, in today’s challenge, the teams would split into pairs and try to identify the two distinct proteins in four dishes by taste and sight. If they would guess both proteins wrong, the light under the dish would turn red. If they would guess one protein correctly, the light would turn blue. Only when they got both correct would it turn green. Whichever team accomplished this task in the fastest time would be named the winner. Ramsay said that normally, the team that won the previous service would get to choose who went first, but since both teams lost, he was going to choose, and he told the red team they would lead off. Deidra said in a confessional that this was her time to shine, and that she had to do well in this challenge to make Ramsay realize why she deserved to be here. As the blue team returned to the dorms to await their turn, Ramsay told the red team that their time started now.
In the first round, Deidra and Michael had to identify crab and pork. Deidra picked up quickly on the fact that the dish contained crab, but after they got a blue light, Shane said they should swap the crab, to which Deidra said that she could handle this, and she fumed in her confessional, wondering why he was still here. The crab stayed, but another attempt at the second protein was wrong before they finally got pork and completed the first dish. In the second round, Shane and Melody had to decipher scallops and veal. While Melody was able to identify veal, their effort was only half-right, and Shane insisted on trying two new proteins, despite Melody being confident, and they got a red light as a result. After bringing the veal back and tasting the dish again, they agreed that there were definitely scallops in there, as it was an ingredient they had become very familiar with during their time in Hell’s Kitchen, and the red team got their second green light. In the third round, Faye and Everett had to figure out chicken and monkfish. While both of them were able to quickly guess that chicken was one of the proteins, they struggled to figure out the swordfish, taking multiple attempts, and Shane said in his confessional that this was getting ridiculous, as he felt he could have easily solved the dish by now. Eventually, Faye and Everett did get the monkfish correct, and it was time for the final round, in which Deidra and Ramona would have to figure out a dish of lobster and beef. With Deidra again quickly determining that the seafood element was lobster, their first attempt at the meat was wrong, but after following Ramona’s suggestion to try beef, the light turned green for them and they finished in a total time of 8:41. Deidra was pumped in her confessional, declaring that she was back and it felt great to kick ass in this challenge.
With the red team’s work done, the blue team now had to figure out the same four dishes in a shorter time in order to take the win. In the first round, Sandro and Carole would be tasked with identifying crab and pork. Sandro was confident that one of the proteins was beef, and said in his confessional he was willing to bet his pants on it, but embarrassingly, they got both proteins wrong, to which Sandro buried his head in his hands in his confessional. Their second attempt left them on red, and on their third, they finally got pork. After a couple more failed attempts, Carole suggested they try crab, and they finally got the green light. In the second round, Grace and Lauren would have to figure out the scallops and veal dish. Grace said she was sure she tasted scallops in the dish, and they got a blue light on their first try. After another failed attempt, Grace put halibut with the scallops, and had to be reminded that this was surf and turf. Lauren became frustrated that Grace kept shooting down her suggestion to try veal, but after several failed attempts, Grace finally agreed and they got the green light. Adele and Thomas were next, needing to identify chicken and monkfish. Thomas said in his confessional that they had lost a lot of time in the first two rounds and needed to catch up quickly, and they were able to do that thanks to Thomas choosing monkfish on his first try. After getting a blue light, the two of them then agreed on chicken, and they were able to get a green light and complete a nearly flawless round. It would all now come down to Travis and Carole, who needed to identify lobster and beef in under a minute in order to win the challenge. Travis said in his confessional that they couldn’t afford to panic here and had to be methodical and efficient. After tasting their dish, Carole said there was definitely lobster in there, to which Travis agreed. With the seconds ticking down, they scrambled to find the second protein, however, their time expired before they could identify it.
Carole said in her confessional that it was bitterly disappointing to come so close to victory, and knew she and Sandro had played a large role in why they timed out. Ramsay brought the red team downstairs and revealed that the blue team had gotten to their last dish…but failed to get a faster time, making the red team the winners. The red team celebrated with high fives and hugs, with Everett saying in a confessional that this was more like it, and it felt great to win again and recapture their momentum from early in the competition.
Reward / Punishment
Ramsay told the red team that they were in for a relaxing day at a stunning high-end LA spa, where they would be pampered and treated like Hollywood celebrities. Melody was absolutely giddy in her confessional, as she had always wanted to go to a fancy spa, and couldn’t wait to get out of her jacket and just be girly again. Michael chuckled in his confessional and admitted he’d never thought of himself as the type to go to a spa, but anything had to be better than whatever the blue team would be punished with. On the subject of punishment, Ramsay turned to the losing team and told them that they had a tough day ahead, as he needed all the fish cleaned and prepped for tonight’s service. Grace groaned in her confessional and said the smell of fish was going to take months to go away after this, and she wouldn’t do it for anyone other than her idol, Chef Ramsay.
There was one more order of business, however, as Ramsay reminded Sandro that he still had his punishment pass, and asked him if he was going to use it. Sandro said in his confessional that he did not want to spend another minute dealing with Grace, and that a spa day was exactly what his old, aching bones needed. He then told Ramsay that he was going to use the pass. After he handed the pass over, Ramsay said he now needed to choose someone from the red team to swap with. Sandro joked that Shane was a young man who could use a workout, and decided to swap with him. While his comments got some laughs from both teams, Shane was visibly pissed off, muttering that the old man needed a spa day more than him anyways. Ramsay told the red team and Sandro to go and get changed, because their limo was waiting to take them to their destination. Then, returning his attention to the blue team, he reminded them that they had a long day ahead and should get to it as soon as possible.
The red team came back downstairs in normal clothes while the blue team had already begun cleaning shrimp, and Melody said in her confessional that she didn’t mind taking Sandro as he was hilarious and always brightened up the room, but wished that Lauren was still here so they could share this experience. The red team got in their limo and were soon on their way. Faye wanted to know if Sandro had ever been to a spa, and Sandro joked that a person with his natural good looks didn’t need a spa, which got some more laughs. Ramona revealed that her grandparents had run their own spa, and her family got discount visits all the time, to which Deidra jokingly asked if they could get the same discount, because she needed to treat herself more often. Ramona said in her confessional that for the first time since she got here, it felt like the team was bonding, and she was sure Shane not being here played a large part in that. The red team arrived at the spa and after only a few minutes of their treatment, Michael said he had been fully converted and admitted this reward was amazing. Melody laughed and said she knew he would come around eventually. Everett said in his confessional that they definitely did not have anything like this back home, and he felt like an A-list celebrity right now. Faye said in her confessional that she was grateful to have this relaxing time with her team, but knew in the back of her mind that she couldn’t lose focus on tonight’s service.
Back in Hell’s Kitchen, the blue team and Shane continued to work on their punishment…though perhaps less so on Shane’s part, as he seemed more concerned with directing the other chefs and nitpicking their mistakes. Travis vented in his confessional, saying that Shane was not their sous chef last time he checked, while Lauren said in her confessional that she definitely did not miss being on a team with him. Unsurprisingly, Grace and Shane did not get along at all, as Grace said in her confessional that she couldn’t stand people with Shane’s arrogance and laziness. Lauren finally had enough of their bickering and told them both to shut the hell up, as they still had a lot of fish to clean and prep. The blue team’s grueling task continued well into the afternoon, and they were still at it when the red team returned to Hell’s Kitchen from their spa day. Michael said in his confessional that the blue team looked pretty tired, and it couldn’t have been great for their morale to put up with both Shane and Grace all day long. Thomas said in his confessional that the red team might get complacent, but he was determined to lead his team to victory in service.
Pre-Service
After the red team and Sandro put their jackets on and came back downstairs, they joined the blue team in completing prep, though Sandro found himself being ignored by his team, and said in his confessional that he could tell when people were giving him the silent treatment, as his wife was a big fan of that tactic. Ramsay reminded the chefs that tonight’s menu would feature a selection of surf and turf dishes, and as such, he needed the meat and fish stations to be in perfect sync with each other. Ramsay also announced that one chef from each team would be responsible for serving a tableside oyster appetizer. From the blue team, Lauren, and from the red team, Shane. With all this out of the way, he told the chefs to get to their stations, and called out to Marino to open Hell’s Kitchen for Surf and Turf night.
Dinner Service
Once again, Hell’s Kitchen had become the center of the American culinary world, as several celebrities were in attendance, all eager to get a glimpse of Chef Ramsay’s latest protegés. It didn’t take long for orders to start flying into both kitchens, and Ramsay began service by calling out the first tables.
In the blue kitchen, Adele and Sandro were starting the night off on appetizers, while Carole and Travis were on fish and garnish alone, respectively. Thanks to Adele and Sandro sending up nicely cooked lobster risotto and capellini, along with beautiful scallops from Carole, the blue team completed their first table and had some early momentum on their side, with Sandro saying in his confessional that there was no way they were losing tonight. He spoke too soon, however, as he sent risottos with raw lobster on the next table, while Adele’s capellini was overcooked mush. While the two of them tried to fight back, Carole continued to send acceptable scallops and was keeping appetizers flowing out of the kitchen by leading on the tickets. Ramsay noted that she was cooking with a fire under her ass for the first time, and all it took was for her to be nominated. Carole said “yes chef” and elaborated in her confessional that she was determined to prove why she deserved to stay after the embarrassment of the last service. Even with Carole’s efforts, though, apps continued to drag, as Sandro and Adele seemed to be struggling to keep up, and Ramsay said he was dying here. Adele finally sent her capellini to the pass, however, it was bland and undercooked, and when she brought up another attempt, it was still undercooked. Ramsay warned her that his patience was wearing thin, and pleaded with someone to take control of that station. Sandro finally said he would, and began trying to help Adele out. Adele got her capellini to the pass and finally had it accepted, but Sandro continued to drag on his orders and asked for more time, and Ramsay became pissed off, saying he had never met any executive chef who worked so damn slowly. Sandro tried to explain that it was simply how he ran his restaurant, to which Ramsay replied forcefully that this was his restaurant, not Sandro’s, and to wake up. Despite the struggles on appetizers, the blue team fought back and managed to get food out to their diners. Meanwhile, out in the dining room, Lauren had success with her tableside appetizer, as she was able to get along with the customers and keep them fed while the kitchen struggled to get their first course out. She said in a confessional that the blue team needed to pick up the pace, because customers would definitely start complaining soon.
Meanwhile, in the red kitchen, Deidra and Michael were on appetizers while Faye was alone on fish and Melody was alone on garnish. Michael got the red team off to a good start by serving nicely-cooked risottos, along with Deidra’s capellini, as she said in her confessional that she needed to build off her strong performance in the challenge. Faye’s scallops were beautifully seared, and the red team also sent out their first table without any mistakes. Faye continued her great start on fish by driving the tickets and serving perfect scallops again, and Ramsay told her to keep it up. The main thing slowing down the red team, however, would turn out to be Deidra, as she sent burnt capellini for an entire table, which forced the others to refire. Ramsay told her to get it together soon, because right now, she was screwing what should have been a perfect start. Faye said in her confessional that Deidra had a lot of fire and passion, but seemed to be out of her depth here. With Michael taking more control of the appetizer station, he was able to help Deidra get her appetizers out and out into the dining room, earning Ramsay’s praise. Michael said in a confessional that he was here to win and would help anyone he could to get his team across the finish line. Thanks to Michael and Faye’s strong communication with each other, which Faye attributed in her confessional to both of them being experienced chefs, the red team recovered from Deidra’s mistakes and pushed their starters out to their hungry diners. With the issues on apps resolved, the red team was back on course in the kitchen. Out in the dining room, though, Shane was having some trouble working tableside as he was slow and seemed very disinterested and moody, and Marino had to tell him to be more involved and act like he wanted to be there. Shane said in his confessional that he most definitely did not want to be here and would have much rather been back in the kitchen.
The blue team was finally moving on to entrees, though they were lagging behind the red team, and Thomas tried to urge his team to move faster. Along with Grace, he was manning the all-important meat station, and the two of them would need to have perfect communication with Carole and Lauren, who had just returned to the kitchen after serving all her tables. On the first table of entrees though, Grace called out a time that was much longer than the fish station’s time, and Lauren asked her if she really couldn’t go any sooner. Grace argued back that she wasn’t going to serve anything raw. Thomas became frustrated and told her to stop dragging the kitchen down, and said in his confessional that if she was scared, she should just go home. Grace fumed in her confessional and said that Thomas was a prick and shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near Gordon Ramsay Steak. Ramsay became annoyed that nothing was leaving the kitchen, as they were stuck on their first table. Eventually, Thomas and Grace managed to get their filet mignon and chicken up to the pass along with Carole and Lauren’s halibut and shrimp. Unfortunately, Grace’s filet was badly overcooked and Ramsay said he wouldn’t feed that to his dog. Her second attempt was finally accepted and the blue team got their first table out. They continued to have their struggles, however, as Carole misheard the order and sent up halibut instead of John Dory, but she quickly corrected her mistake. Grace was still having communication issues, as she got out of sync with Travis on garnish and brought her filet mignon up before the garnish was ready, which caused Travis to get yelled at. Grace said in her confessional that it wasn’t her fault if her team couldn't keep up. Despite his struggles to get Grace to work with him, Travis had a solid night overall, as he was able to communicate with Thomas and the fish station, getting his garnishes to the pass in good time. Thomas sent perfectly cooked chicken and pork, with Ramsay encouraging him to keep it up, and Thomas said in his confessional that it was up to him to carry this station as Grace was clearly in over her head. Meanwhile, Lauren was having a perfect night on fish as well, as she had no problems coordinating with Thomas and Travis and was able to get all of her halibut and John Dory accepted. Carole also continued to bounce back from her poor service on Steak Night, and the blue team made a final push to get their entrees out before the red team.
The red team were ready to start firing entrees while the blue team were still trying to wrap up appetizers, and they were hoping Ramona and Everett could work the meat station effectively and maintain their lead over the blue team. Everett said in his confessional that he was pumped to be on meat, as he felt this was his best station. While Everett managed to have his filet and pork ready, however, Ramona was dragging on her chicken, and the fish station’s portions were dying at the pass waiting for her. Ramsay told her to talk to her team, as he needed the timing here to be perfect. Ramona admitted in her confessional that the menu was giving her trouble, and knew she had to start picking up the pace. Eventually, she managed to get her portion to the pass, and the first table was served. From there, the red team found their groove, and entrees were soon flying out of the kitchen thanks to Melody being vocal on garnish and communicating well with Faye on fish, who had now been joined by Shane after he returned from the dining room. Shane was glad to be back in the kitchen, and after having his first round of shrimp accepted, said in a confessional that he should have been in the kitchen all along. Meanwhile, Everett had mostly taken the lead on meat, but Ramona continued to be inconsistent, as she sent up undercooked chicken twice, and Ramsay told Michael to get over there and help her, but after Ramona sent another undercooked chicken and appeared flustered on times, Ramsay took her to the pantry and asked why she was doing this to him. Ramona pleaded for another chance, and Ramsay told her one more mistake and she was done for the night. With Ramona newly inspired, the meat station was able to have a near-flawless run for the rest of the night, with Everett gaining Ramsay’s praise for his leadership of the station. Back on fish, Shane made more halibut than needed and was criticized for being wasteful and not paying attention, but the red team managed to finish the rest of their tickets without any significant mistakes and pushed onwards towards the end of service.
The red team were able to clear their tickets before the blue team, but both teams completed service, and Ramsay told them to clear down.
Post-Mortem
Ramsay had the teams line up and told them that while there were still many things that needed to be cleaned up, both teams overall performed better than they had during Steak Night, and so tonight, there would be a winning team, and it would be decided by the comment cards received from customers. First, Ramsay revealed that the red team’s diners loved their food, but didn’t like Shane’s tableside service, and their overall satisfaction was 86%. Michael said in his confessional that he was going to kill Shane if they lost this service because of him. Ramsay then revealed that the blue team’s diner’s loved Lauren’s tableside service and thought the food quality was good, but the most overwhelming complaint received was long wait times. All taken together, the overall satisfaction rating was…82%, which made the red team the winners of service. Ramsay told the blue team that it was a tough loss, but instructed them to come up with two nominees for elimination, and dismissed both teams to the dorms.
Back in the dorms, a tense deliberation began in the blue kitchen, with Thomas starting off by saying that he, Travis and Lauren all did well and shouldn’t be considered. On the other hand, he said that Adele and Sandro had a rough night on apps, and both should be considered, along with Grace, as she made his life a living hell on meat. Lauren agreed, and said that Grace had been skimming by and hiding behind other chefs, but she needed to start owning up to her mistakes. Grace said that was BS and she cared more about this competition than anyone here, and was offended that Lauren would suggest she was hiding in any way. Travis said he felt that Grace and Adele should be the nominees, which Carole and Sandro agreed with. Grace could not believe everyone was nominating her over Sandro, as she said he had been inconsistent throughout the entire competition, and also walked out on the punishment, showing he was only out for himself. Sandro laughed and said that was rich coming from her. Adele said she would have to nominate Grace and Sandro, although she acknowledged her own mistakes, but she believed she had more to offer than either of them. Thomas said in a confessional that Sandro bailing on the punishment after not performing well in the challenge wasn’t exactly a classy move, but he was determined to get Grace the hell out of here as she totally destroyed any sense of decorum in the kitchen.
While the blue team deliberated, on the red team’s side, Michael told Deidra, Ramona and Shane that they were lucky the red team won tonight, as they each could have been nominated, and that they should use this opportunity to bounce back and start performing more consistently. Shane grumbled that he didn’t need a lecture, and said in his confessional that Michael could go kick rocks for all he cared. Ramona was feeling disappointed in herself after a rough night, and Melody went over to try to cheer her up, saying that she’d had some bad services too, and the most important thing was to remember and learn from the mistakes, but not dwell on them. Ramona said she was feeling better and they hugged it out, with Ramona saying in her confessional that Melody was right and she just had to fight back even harder in the next service. Faye said in a confessional that Melody was definitely starting to find her voice both in and out of the kitchen, and couldn’t have been happier for her.
Elimination Ceremony
The blue team entered the dining room and lined up in front of Ramsay, who said that it had been a close service, but reminded the chefs that the fine margins made all the difference in Hell’s Kitchen. With that, he asked Lauren for the blue team’s first nominee and why. Lauren announced that the blue team had unanimously voted for Grace as the first nominee, due to her struggles on meat and being a terrible team player throughout the competition. Ramsay asked for the second nominee and why. Lauren hesitated while the camera panned between the anxious faces of Sandro and Adele, but finally announced that they had settled on…Adele, due to inconsistent performances in both services and challenges, and struggling badly on apps. Ramsay accepted the nominees, but said there was someone else he needed to hear from. WIth that, he told Grace, Adele…and Sandro, to step forward, then asked each of them why they should stay in Hell’s Kitchen.
Grace: “I want this more than anyone, chef. All I’ve done since I got here is work and do my best to make the kitchen run smoothly. I know your standards-”
Ramsay cut her off and asked if she knew his standards so damn well, why she didn’t live up to them. Grace said that communication in general was a problem tonight, saying Adele wasn’t being vocal on fish. Ramsay then moved on to Adele and asked her why she should stay.
Adele: “Well chef, I just want you to know that every word she just said is absolutely wrong-”
Grace interrupted to demand to know what part was wrong, and Ramsay told her to shut up for two seconds before telling Adele to continue.
Adele: “Like I was saying, I think it’s ridiculous for me to be blamed for someone else’s mistakes. I did screw up tonight, I admit that. But I feel like my strengths would make me a better leader than Grace.”
Ramsay then moved on to Sandro, saying this was not what he was expecting from the oldest and most experienced chef in the competition.
Sandro: “Yes chef, you’re right, I ain’t been livin’ up to my own standards, let alone yours. I work hard, and I like to have fun ‘’cause that’s what cooking is for me, but if you want me to change, I’ll try. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that I can run Gordon Ramsay Steak.”
Ramsay said that the biggest thing he wanted to see was some drive from Sandro, an ambition worthy of an executive chef, as right now he seemed too comfortable.
Ramsay announced that he had a tough choice here, given the three chefs standing before him.
Ramsay: “I have a chef with passion, but no accountability, a chef with accountability, but not enough passion, and a chef with both, but no ambition to be anything more than a small time head chef. My decision is…”
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Ramsay: “Adele, give me your jacket…Sandro, give me your jacket.”
Elimination music
The teams were visibly stunned as Adele and Sandro handed over their jackets.
Ramsay: “Both of you, listen to me very carefully. These are not your jackets anymore…”
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Ramsay reached over to a table next to him and produced two jackets.
“Put these on instead, you can’t walk around in a dirty jacket. Back in line, both of you.”
Dramatic music
Ramsay: “Grace…do me one big favor, take your jacket…and yourself, back in line, and get a fucking grip.”
Grace breathed a huge sigh of relief as she went back to join her team. Ramsay announced that no one was going home tonight because both teams improved from the last service, and he was willing to give everyone one more chance to prove why they were deserving of the executive chef position at Gordon Ramsay Steak. However, he warned the chefs not to get used to this, because next time, he might not be feeling so merciful. With that, he sent the chefs back to the dorms, but not before telling the nominated chefs collectively to wake up, as they were running out of chances.
As the chefs returned to the dorm, several of them had confessionals. Grace said Ramsay saw something in her, and she would show him why she deserved this reprieve in the next service. Sandro said he couldn’t afford to be a nice guy anymore and needed to start buckling down and kicking ass. Adele said her team had underestimated her from the beginning, but Ramsay had given her another chance, and she had to take it. Ramona said she got lucky today, and after her talk with Melody, she was ready to bounce back tomorrow like never before. Everett said that he felt like he had his best service yet, and hoped to build on that momentum going forward. Michael said that the red team was back on course, and he knew that it was time for him to start stepping up as a leader if he was ever going to separate himself from the pack.
Placement
https://preview.redd.it/u00173jvarsc1.png?width=2507&format=png&auto=webp&s=5ce1e48b63a0981b5d8f628435215125c491dad0

What Is This?
I’ve been running sims to determine which players in OOTP25 perform the best over the first decade. To do this, I ran ten sims, for ten years apiece, providing 100 seasons worth of data to comb through.
Each sim started with a fantasy draft, which also allowed me to chart when each player is typically drafted.
The only stat being measured here is WAR. There may be better stats out there, but I chose WAR since it can be used to measure both hitter and pitchers and is a stat most players are readily familiar with.
The resulting spreadsheet is HERE. There are some preview shots embedded below and some notes at the end of this post. If I’ve done this right, you can download a copy and tinker with it on your own.
Methodology
For each sim, I started with a custom game, using MLB without any foreign leagues. Ballpark factors were neutralized. Injuries and suspensions were turned off, but any injuries or suspensions that were already in effect at the start of each sim were left in place. League evolution was turned off. For the draft, fixed budgets were turned on and adjusted based on city population. All other options were left at the default.
All sims were completed before any major patches were released.
Enough already. Who are the best players?
For those who don’t want to comb through the spreadsheet, here’s an image gallery breaking down the top overall players, and the best at each position. Below each image you’ll see my notes for each category. Note that players are listed at whatever position OOTP lists them at, not necessarily where they would be best suited.
CLICKY
Ideal Draft Position
For funsies, I tracked how many times each team won the World Series, but it actually proved useful to track. The D-Backs won a whopping 14 times, and it was not coincidental. The D-Backs default draft position is pick #20. At that spot, they often drafted Julio Rodriguez #1, Corbin Carroll #2, and Gunnar Henderson #3, which is basically a perfect start.
Assuming you’re in that #20 slot described above, you can potentially follow those picks with Jordan Walker in the 4th, Elly in the 5th, Holliday 6th, Langford 7th, Painter 8th, Salas 9th, and Chourio 10th, although you’ll likely miss on one or two of them. You can then rack up potentially 25 or more top 100 prospects after that to use as backups and trade bait, which you’ll need to assemble a pitching staff.
Some Quick Notes on the Spreadsheet
The main tabs are “Stats” and “Compare.” The other tabs are some raw data from each sim. On the Stats tab, there’s a triangle in the upper right of each category, and if you hover over them, you’ll see some notes that (try to) better explain each category.
The “Compare” tab can be used to get a quick snapshot of up to four players at a time. Here’s a snapshot .
One snafu – The sheet can’t handle multiple players with the same name. It does not know the difference between the Dodgers’ Max Muncy and the A’s Max Muncy, or any of the various players named Luis Garcia. The WAR shown is for whichever one put up the most WAR that season. Usually it doesn’t matter, but worth noting.
Feedback
I welcome any feedback on how to make this data (or future) data better, clearer, better designed, etc. I’m handy with Excel, but I only know enough to get myself in trouble.
Thank you for reading! Hope this helps someone out!

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In 2022, rumors claimed Roman Abramovich was directly linked to and funded cannabis startup Curaleaf Holdings. The evidence demonstrated that Curaleaf was not financially tied to Roman Abramovich, nor had Russia funded it. However, the evidence does demonstrate that you're indirectly supporting Putin's war when you buy weed at your local Curaleaf.
Let's clarify what is known about Curaleaf Holdings Executive Chairperson and US-born billionaire Boris Jordan and Andrei Blokh, the second largest shareholder and Russian billionaire.
Boris Jordan is a brilliant businessman born and raised in Long Island, NY. As a young entrepreneur, Jordan became deeply rooted in Russia's economy in the 1990s by working for Bruce Gardner, who was the director of the Russian Center for Privatization under the Government of the Russian Federation (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boris_Jordan#). He has held leadership positions in various Russian organizations. The billionaire remains CEO of Sputnik Group Ltd., a private equity firm headquartered in Moscow. He's so entrenched in the Russian economy that he told the NY Times he was considering applying for citizenship. https://www.nytimes.com/1995/09/20/business/an-american-in-moscow.html . Information also suggests he is a Putin sympathizer and supporter (https://wikileaks.jcvignoli.com/cable_07MOSCOW5627?hl=boris%20jordan).
Andrei Blokh, sometimes spelled Andrey Blokh, was born and resides in Russia and holds a US passport. He launched his career in the Russian oil industry and served as the president of the Russian oil company Sibneft. Later, Blokh built his fortune in the Russian dairy business. Most recently, he's focused on the US cannabis industry. https://www.forbes.com/profile/andrey-blokh/?sh=7c0842f2602a
Although there is no evidence that Jordan and Blokh committed any crimes in the US, both men generate revenue in Russia and pay considerable taxes to Putin's government. They also assist others in generating income and taxes in Russia. Yes, they pay US taxes as well.
Curaleaf is also expanding in Canada and now Europe. Do you want to support an organization that's so tied to Russia that the investors can't even hide it? Curafeaf employees, don't be fooled by your PR department's emails; these guys are buddies with Putin and Roman Abramovich.
Who else is supporting them? Yet another one of Will Yakowicz's puff pieces in Forbes is told from a very naive point of view and gushes over Boris Jordan. He quotes Jordan dismissing his long-held connections to the Russian government and businesses as xenophobic. It's not about where these people came from; it's who they help support. https://www.forbes.com/sites/willyakowicz/2022/03/04/no-the-worlds-biggest-cannabis-company-is-not-russian-owned/
Here's a challenge for the Curaleaf board: Get a new chairperson and buy out Blokh and Jordan.
Current and potential customers: boycott Curaleaf. Find another dispensary, especially locally owned, or grow your own (where legally allowed). Also, consider discontinuing the use of cannabis. Is a Curaleaf trying to open a shop in your town? Protest it and tell your local leaders that you don't approve.
Curaleaf employees: Find another dispensary or grow operation, especially locally owned or start your own.
Investors: Dump the stock.
Other Curaleaf board members with financial ties to Russia (past and present)
-KARL JOHANSSON, Director

2006 to 2014: managing partner of Ernst & Young in Moscow 

-PETER DERBY, Director

Founded the Russian investment firm Troika Dialog in 1991 

Chairman of the board of directors 1996 to 1997
President and Chief Executive Officer from 1991 to 1996

Concealer is a makeup superhero, swooping in to save the day by camouflaging imperfections and enhancing our natural beauty. Whether you're covering dark circles, blemishes, or redness, finding the perfect concealer can make all the difference. But have you ever considered what goes into creating that magical formula? In this post, we'll explore the fascinating world of concealer formulation and manufacturing, focusing on the expertise offered by Nature's Own Cosmetics.
Understanding Concealer Formulation
Concealer formulation is a delicate balance of science and art, requiring careful selection and precise blending of ingredients to achieve the desired coverage, texture, and longevity. Here are some key components commonly found in concealer formulations:

1. Base Ingredients: Similar to eyeshadow formulation, concealers often start with base ingredients like emollients, thickeners, and pigments. These ingredients determine the texture and coverage level of the concealer.
2. Color Correctors: Concealers may contain color correctors to neutralize specific imperfections. For example, peach or orange tones can counteract dark under-eye circles, while green tones can neutralize redness.
3. Skin Benefits: Many concealers are formulated with skincare ingredients such as hyaluronic acid, vitamins, and antioxidants to hydrate and nourish the skin while providing coverage.
4. Longevity Enhancers: To ensure long-lasting wear, concealers may include ingredients like silicone derivatives or film formers that create a barrier on the skin, preventing creasing and fading throughout the day.
5. Fragrance and Preservatives: Fragrance and preservatives are added to concealers to enhance the sensory experience and extend the product's shelf life.

Partnering with a Concealer Formulation Manufacturer
Creating a high-quality concealer formulation requires expertise and precision. That's where partnering with a reputable concealer formulation manufacturer like Nature's Own Cosmetics can make all the difference. Here's how they can help bring your concealer vision to life:

1. Expertise in Cosmetic Chemistry: Nature's Own Cosmetics boasts a team of experienced cosmetic chemists who understand the intricacies of concealer formulation. They can help you develop custom formulations tailored to your brand's unique requirements.
2. Quality Ingredients: With access to a wide range of premium-quality ingredients, Nature's Own Cosmetics ensures that your concealer formulations are of the highest standard. From pigments to emollients, they source ingredients that meet strict quality and safety standards.
3. Customization Options: Whether you're looking to create a lightweight, natural-looking concealer or a full-coverage formula with skincare benefits, Nature's Own Cosmetics offers customization options to bring your vision to life. They can adjust texture, coverage, and finish to suit your brand's aesthetic and target audience.
4. Regulatory Compliance: Navigating the complex landscape of cosmetic regulations can be daunting, but Nature's Own Cosmetics has you covered. They stay up-to-date with regulatory requirements and ensure that your concealer formulations comply with industry standards and regulations.
5. Efficient Manufacturing Processes: Once your concealer formulations are finalized, Nature's Own Cosmetics handles the manufacturing process with precision and efficiency. Their state-of-the-art facilities and strict quality control measures ensure consistent, high-quality products with every batch.

Whether you're a beauty enthusiast dreaming of creating your own concealer or a cosmetics brand looking to expand your product line, partnering with a trusted concealer formulation manufacturer is the first step toward success. With Nature's Own Cosmetics by your side, you can turn your concealer vision into reality and help your customers achieve flawless, radiant skin.

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