Other ways of saying happy halloween

Hey all.
I think I have posted here before, but a short backatory on my deconstruction:
I'm a 27AFAB nonbinary queer person who was raised in a "were not legalistic" legalistic non-denominational church in the Midwest. I met a guy in college and we got married when I was 21 years old, I left my parents house and moved across the country because my husband was in the military. The only two environments I ever lived in were my immediate family and then just me and my husband, so it was kind of a culture shock and I actually got to experience the world outside of an echo chamber.
I had really never 100% believed everything taught in church growing up, because I just had too many unanswered questions- when I prayed, it was radio silence. When I talked to church leaders and parents and stuff in the church, they would scold me for "questioning god" and that "I didn't need/deserve to know the answer because he has a plan/he works in mysterious ways". I also struggled to make friends because I either tried to pressure them into church, or I was the "weird homeschooled theater band Christian kid". My parents had a lot of rules for guests at the house that were based in religion, so my "secular" friends were uncomfortable. My whole life was very influenced by the church and my parents and that was it.
I have recently begun to deconstruct, and have labeled myself agnostic, as my mindset is that I am only human and don't know everything, and probably won't ever know everything. I don't want to put myself in a box and live my life based on rules to send me somewhere after I die that may or may not exist. In any capacity or form.
Recently, I've been dealing with this weird feeling of anxiety and panic over the possibility of going to hell if I die, even though I don't believe in the biblical God anymore, nor do I believe in a "fire and brimstone" type of hell. I'm kinda honsetly 50/50 on if hell exsts at all. And even if there was a hell, and it was some sort of endless torture, I don't think I truly would go, because my belief is that a place like that would only the for the worst of the worst people (terrorists, serial killers, abusers, ect) and not just like, gay people and atheists like so many believe.
When I was a Christian (or at least said I was to other people even though I was doubting and struggling) I didn't think I'd go to hell because I said I was a Christian. And (for arguments sake) if God is real, and he's who the bible says he is, and hell is real, he would have known that I truly don't believe all that stuff but only say I do because I felt like I couldn't admit it to him and had to keep it secret, so I would have gone to hell anyways for "turning my back on God", regardless of if I what I told myself and other people I was.
But now that I've opened up to myself and people in my life, and have been open anbout leaving christianity, I am anxious 24/7 with constant thoughts of "well what if you're wrong and it IS all real. You're DEFINITELY going there now that youre not a believer anymore". Idk how much is me actually believing in God and being anxious because it is all real and I am wrong, or hoe much is the subconscious voices of my church leaders and my parents that are just trauma fueled and religious brainwashing telling me "if you're doubting, that's ACTUALLY the holy spirit telling you the truth and you're ignoring it".
I know this is sooooo long, but I was just hoping maybe someone else has dealt with this too?

I, 26F have a 6 m/o son with my ex, 31M, of 1 month. I know what you may be thinking, and yes, you read it right. Before my son, I was a hopeless romantic and I accepted love in all the wrong places. When I broke up with my ex and soon after found out I was pregnant, I learned my lesson about having relations and being too trusting of people I barely know. I have been single and focusing on taking care of my son ever since. A little background on the history of my ex and I:
We met on social media last year and he texted me first with a line that I’ve never heard from anyone. It made me laugh, so thought I would give him a chance. He said all the right things to me, and lied about so much (for example, he lied about having a twin sister and she’s the same age as me) and I fell for it. We ended up meeting in person, he told me he loved me after a week or so of being together (major red flag that I ignored) and that was the very night I conceived my son. Shortly afterwards, I found out he was cheating on me and he stole money from me. Then about a month later, I found out I was pregnant and when I told him he was excited at first.
We kept a line of communication, but he made most of my pregnancy stressful. He denied my child and told people that I was pregnant when we met, we only had sex once (we didn’t but IF WE DID, he doesn’t realize it only takes one time to get pregnant), and that we were never in a relationship. In the same breath he was trying to cheat on his several girlfriends with me, but I wasn’t having it. I would also notify him of appointments to check on the baby and he would say he’ll come and ended up being a no show. I tried to keep him updated on the baby and he would say I didn’t. He had me involved in so much drama and I eventually found out he had two other women pregnant at the same time as me (he denies getting one of those two pregnant but I know he’s lying). It was just too much. Eventually we went no contact and shortly after, he went to jail. He stayed for the better half of the pregnancy and for about the first month of him being incarcerated, we got back in contact with each other, and he tried to make me do favors for him that I wasn’t comfortable doing because it would start drama or I just wasn’t obligated to do and this became a huge problem for him since I was not doing what he wanted. It turned into an argument and he told me not contact him again, so I told him he wouldn’t hear from me again and blocked him. For months he had strangers texting me on his behalf asking me to contact him because he felt remorseful. I blocked those numbers as well because I didn’t want to stress anymore during the rest of my pregnancy than I already have. Long story short, we were in contact on and off and he eventually was released from jail. He didn’t attend the birth of the baby because I didn’t want him there. I wanted to have a peaceful labor and delivery.
After my son’s birth, he was asking to see him, but I didn’t want him anywhere near us. My mom made me change my mind by telling me that I should let him see the baby because I don’t want to give him the chance to say that I never let my son see him if he were to ask in the future why he couldn’t come around him and cause him to resent me for it. To this day, he has not physically seen my son since he was born and has only helped once with him financially. He’s only seen him via FaceTime and after a month of my son being born, he went back to jail for violating his probation. Ever since, we have been on and off with communication. He always tries to get back in a relationship with me, even when I have told him no several times (and he knows why but expects me to get over him treating me like shit when I was pregnant), flirts with me and calls me “bae” even after I would tell him to stop. We still fight from time to time and he always goes out of his way to disrespect me. So now I don’t answer when he calls unless the baby is awake and he says things to me like, “when I call, you need to answer” and “don’t let anyone keep you away from me”. I don’t want to talk to him unless it’s about our son. I’ve made this clear to him several times and he blatantly dismisses it and gets angry because he can’t get any control over me. He doesn’t respect me or my wishes and I don’t want to deal with it any longer, but I don’t want to deny my son of his father. I feel like he thinks he has some kind of sense of ownership over me because I have his child and it doesn’t sit well with me at all.
Would I be the asshole if I stopped contacting him because he makes me feel uncomfortable?

I know we weren't on speaking terms when you passed, but I've missed you sorely since. Albeit conflictedly. In a way, I'm almost glad you weren't here to see most of the family join you, though I think you would've made it easier on the rest of us. I miss your bear hugs. I quote you all the time.
So. The cat you fought mom for me to keep recently got diagnosed with cancer. I think she's mostly been nice to him out of a sense of duty and knowing that's what you'd want and what you'd gotten him used to. I think he's kept her company , which is why I was happy to just visit. I know he's old, but it's hitting hard. I worry about her when she's all alone in that big drafty house.
And on that note, the neurologist appointments she's had to do since 2001? Well, they recently forwarded her to a neurosurgeon. But this time she doesn't have you. She's so scared and we're terrified right there with her.
I broke down to big bro, the other day. He said he thought I was dealing with it well cause I'd somehow managed to keep it reined in around mom, but the truth is I haven't slept since, and now we're changing all my meds again (btw, dad, I've ADHD , amongst the stuff you already knew about - the new meds have helped). He was driving me to the bus station as I sobbed and he couldn't hug me.
I told him we've lost so many people and he said that's just growing old. I said I was scared. He is too. And then he said: "if dad was here there'd be no waffling, he'd already have booked tickets and theyd be at a world specialist in a week." And that's true, isn't it? That's how it went before. I wish you were here to make her feel safe and to push her in ways we just cannot. I wish I had a hug.

I plan to show this to my girlfriend (I’ll call her Nora since she has a ridiculously rare name) when she’s finished her finals on Thursday. I’m using a throwaway because she’s advocated for me to always convey my feelings, with her, a journal, friends or my family and I’ll use reddit this time and she loves this platform. We’ve resolved everything but I still want to write everything down and show her.
For some background, Nora and I met and became the best of friends when we both started middle school; we had the same classes together up until high school and up until Covid, we stopped talking for 2-3 years. In 11th grade, we had many of the same classes once again and within 2 months of the school year, I fell for her. I didn’t confess for another 4-5 months by asking her out to junior prom and we started dating March 31, 2022. Since then, we’ve bettered ourselves, experienced shared dreams, been to 6 countries and 20 states together. We one-up each other when it’s time to celebrate our birthdays and anniversary. We saved each other and I know for certain that she is my soulmate and she’s the only person that I want to marry and have a family with down the line. Currently, we’re freshmen at different colleges in our home state.
For the past few weeks, she’s been stressed for this one final, it’s the highest math she needs for her program and we’ve been taking college classes since June 2022 up until attending college in August 2023. Her plan for the last 2 years has always been to attending community college to knock out her pre-reqs before transferring within a few months. Although since she’s nearing the finish line for this plan, it’s been taking the biggest toll on her.
But last week specifically, she was really unresponsive, which isn’t like her. Whenever she would stay the night over, she would either sleep on the couch in my room and stay up longer than me (which always worried me considering I’m quite an insomniac whenever I don’t get a chance to share the same bed with her or to hear her telling me goodnight). The only time she opened up to me was to let all of her frustrations out. I would go to my family (they love her just as much as they love me) a lot but they’d only endearingly laugh at me, my mom especially. She’d tell me “She’s the reason you’re able to be open up so much to us, give her time” and things along those lines.
I did do as my mom said and gave her time, but I know my girl very well. I know when she wants to talk, when she wants to hug and when she wants to cry. But I also knew she didn’t want to talk just yet. Our conversations were short, and as much as it killed me, I knew she needed time more than anyone.
Yesterday (Mother’s Day), I ended up being the reason we fixed things. We like to spend the first half of holidays at her place then mine after. I went to her place, her eldest brother opened the door and smiled at me, we made conversation and he told me she was upstairs. I dropped my gifts off and went to knock on her door. She said come in and was surprised to see me, I guess she didn’t know what time I was coming over.
Looking at her felt like time stopped, Nora has always been the most beautiful woman, no one can rival her radiant smile, her loud laughs or the pleasure of staring at her; but she was glowing. She smelt like lemon, ginger and coconut, she smelt like herself. She felt like herself. At that point my face was burning, she got up and started inspecting my face, her hands were on my face and she kept asking what was wrong.
I started crying without knowing and she started to panic, crying has become a normality for me, I always find myself crying when she cries. But crying out of nowhere was alarming for her. She spent 10 minutes consoling me before I apologized for making her panic. She said it was fine but asked what was wrong. I told her how when I saw her, it felt like she was herself again. It was the first time she’s touched me in over a week (physical touch being my love language) and I asked her what happened to make her, her regular self again. She told me that “Your support for me has been unwavering for 2 years, I can’t possibly disappoint you with how much you’ve put into being there for me through everything, and I think making gifts for your mom and mine just made me realize I shouldn’t stress so much, I got to take my mind off everything and I wanted to apologize to you for being so short and disrespectful of your feelings”
She started laughing after explaining and started teasing me until we started to banter back and forth and ended up wrestling together. After some minutes, Nora hugged me really tight and kissed me countless times and told me how sorry she’s been. I easily forgave her, she’s always gone out of her way to make sure I’m okay.
I just thought I’d put my feelings down somewhere before heading to bed, we’re sharing the same bed for the first time in a week or so and the idea of getting ready in the morning to help her study makes me smile. She’s been stressed a lot and I’ve promised her that once she’s officially done this semester, I’m treating her to a deserved spa day with a manicure and pedicure, I’ve already paid her hair stylist in advance for her appointment on Saturday.
I just want my girl to be happy and stress free the way she’s always trying her best to be present in lives of the people she cares for and she’s gone several miles: from being the first to show up for my younger sister’s (17) art exhibits, paying for her prom, taking her shopping, to going on morning walks with my older sister (22), going to concerts and helping my parents. I’d be stupid if I didn’t show how far my appreciation for her runs.
I’ve been rambling for the last 20 minutes and I’m happy I made this account, I really do love Nora more than life itself because she’s the one who made me love the longevity of my life. I talk to my dad about her constantly and my friends can’t go without telling me that I always talk about Nora when the chance is given. I can’t do without her and her serenity, her weirdness, her humor her warmth and her beauty.
Good night!
TL;DR: I'm planning to pour my heart out to my girlfriend after her finals. We've been inseparable since middle school, she's my soulmate. Lately, she’s been stressed, but we had a breakthrough on Mother's Day, and I feel relieved. I can't wait to support her and treat her to a spa day. I'm head over heels for her and deeply appreciate everything she does for me and my family.

I already put this out on bisexualteens, but figured it would be good to put on here too. I’ve found people of both genders to be attractive in some way. So while I love my parents, when it comes to topics like coming out, lgbtq+, etc., they aren’t the best. I don’t know what my sister is exactly, and I don’t want to mislabel her, but when she came out my parents and family members were accepting. I just don’t think that if I do the same that they’ll have the same reaction, which is what I really want. I guess in other words, I’m afraid that they won’t see me the same anymore. I’m also afraid that they’ll say stuff behind my back, and I don’t even know if they do that with my sister. I just really need advice and feel like it was something to get off of my chest because there is no way I’m the only person to go through this. I also have some friends that I’ve been with since like elementary school and have no idea how I would come out to them either. It’s the same thing as above, in that I’m afraid they won’t see me the same and might stop being friends with me completely. This is especially because a few of them are pretty religious and do say some not so nice things about people that are lgbtq+.

Hello I am a transfer student wondering about the BMEG program at UBC. BMEG was the engineering discipline that originally got me excited about engineering, but I see tons of people online saying how it’s impossible to find a job and to not get into it under any circumstance. The thing is I am really interested in the cell engineering option and there is no other discipline that seems very interesting. I could see myself going into CHBE but I really don’t think I would love it as much as BMEG. But chemical engineering seems to have way more job opportunities and the pay (on average) is usually better (from what I have seen). From your experience how is the BMEG program at UBC in all aspects from coursework to internship experience (or lack thereof). I appreciate any response.

it's my first time posting here so please bare with me. i started becoming aware that my sister wasn't someone i could "win" against or prove a point to about 4 years ago. in therapy i talked about trying to disengage and grey rock her while still maintaining a relationship because cutting her off didn't feel right.
most of the time, interacting with her leaves me so confused. i will admit i handle it badly and i have no idea what to do because it feels like no matter how much i prepare for it and tell myself to keep a level head, i reach a point where i explode and start yelling things that don't make sense to even me. i feel so stupid after like im surrounded by an ongoing wreckage that i caused
she has so many expectations for me that are entirely impossible to meet. i used to feel bad and upset with myself for not being what she wanted and scared of her disappointment, now i just feel angry that it's being imposed on me
i'm angry that im always compensating for her feelings and jumping hurdles to avoid fights in the house. i'm fed up with hearing her monologues about how much she's done for me my whole life and how terribly i've treated her.
i know i need to calm down in order to get to tomorrow, the real problem is how i messed up tonight. she's graduating from grad school in two days. we (other sister and i) asked her if she'd like to find a place to eat 2-3 weeks ago and her response was she wasn't sure what she wanted, she felt it would be a hassle, and she couldn't decide. cue us telling her it's her decision and we'd like to celebrate her however she'd prefer. we'd go in circles, i know she seeks validation and will never be satisfied with how much i'm willing to give before i feel like a sheep. each time we asked it was the same answer. yesterday we agreed to a meal after the ceremony but not on a place. we said she should pick a place and we'd make the reservation. today i'm texting her restaurants to choose from. the added issue is who pays for the meal because she's currently unemployed and my mom is also low income so they will split it.
planning a reservation for a large group comes with its own issues and those could've been handled but it started to feel impossible when she started saying "i just thought you guys would handle it after you said you would last night but now it feels like it's falling on me." after telling her that there's a miscommunication here because we only said we'd book the reservation after a place was decided, she brought up feeling disappointment and uncared for 6 more times. that's when i exploded and said that this was ridiculous and started arguing. the only way she would've stopped repeating that is if i had apologized for not doing better. she says she was so happy that we took the responsibility and stepped up for once, that she was bragging to best friend about it today
according to my other sister, narc sister is mostly now upset that i yelled and threw my feelings at her. i know 100% that for years now she'll be saying i ruined her graduation and that we as a family have never treated her well and that for all my graduations she did everything a big sister should do to make me happy
im so fed up truly i feel lost and deranged and like im hallucinating. i drafted a text to send in the morning apologizing for lashing out but i'm dreading having to see her in the morning and hear her dry responses that see no issue in how she expected us to be mind readers and take full control of the planning

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My (20F) sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents (54F and 56M) and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces), he completed basic training and and got several months through training and moved to the secondary base in NC before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was rpd by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been S A'd, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did S A her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart (incidentally, right before Trevor came to visit her on leave). She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.
Tl;dr My sister's boyfriend lied about the circumstances of him dropping out of college and joining the military. Now I think he's lying about not making it through training for two different special/ elite forces. My sister has significantly changed her behavior and I think she may have lied about a significant traumatic event to our family. Now she is planning on moving across the country to him and moving in immediately. Our entire family doesn't like him and we're worried about her. How do I support her but not her relationship?

I am writing this because my friend told me I should start journaling about my situation. My situation is not too uncommon but I need to get this off my chest. I was recently in a relationship that lasted for 1 year. The break up literally tore me apart because he did everything he was supposed to do from spending time to going on dates. He was so engaging that we would have never ending conversations. We related on so many levels. As we got to know each other we developed what I now see as unhealthy behaviors. He was in a profession that allowed him to make his own schedule, I was in a profession that allowed me to take off time but I was unable to make up the hours missed. All of that was ok because we made plans on how to get right financially. He lived with his parents which was ok. We planned that he would move in with me because I own my house and if we went together on the mortgage it would be less for both of us so we could get our financial situations together. I loved hanging out with him so much that I began to make my schedule reflect his. Essentially working part time. I had a bad habit of drinking that i often told him I didn't want to bring into our relationship. He agreed but then developed the same habit. We had so much fun together.. drunk. I hated it and loved it at the same time. Out of 365 days we were together 350, he never gave me no clue of cheating.. so l thought. One day we got drunk together... of course.. and he passed out on my couch. While he was out I was still up drinking. I reached down the couch and felt his phone... my first thought was.. let me see if I know his code. First code I put in ...correct. Me still clueless I go to his text messages thinking I won't find anything, this man didn't play about me. I scroll through and I see mostly clients, then I see a text that says "I love you" I open it. Scroll back over the whole year w had been together and see that he was planning a future from moving in together to having kids with this woman I now know to be one of his exes F/30... I could not breathe. I then go to his Snapchat and see conversations with a woman named Laura, again another ex.. I scroll though it and the whole year the same thing, planning a future from moving in together to having kids another F/30.. at this point I'm almost on my death bed.. question... What do I do?
TL;DR;: he left me. For his exes. I think I messed up. Is this going the right way?

I’d like to begin this invitation of advice or experiences by stating that what I want in life is a partner who feels like home, will always give me their genuine effort, & will love me through all of the highs, mediums, & lows of life.
I specifically want to know about any advice or things I should consider when it comes to the age gap I have with the man I’m seriously considering making a staple & serious part of my life. I (29f) met Chance (40m) 3 years ago & we have been seeing each other for a little over a year. We met at the middle school in which we both work- he’s the social worker, I’m the art teacher. When I first saw him, he looked like a meat head (he’s pretty muscular, bald, beard, wears hoodies) & I’ve always been into nerds so it never occurred to me that I’d end up attracted to him. The first year we knew each other, it was very surface level, & then, during the second year of my time at the school, I got to know him better, as I did a few coworkers I now consider close friends. This second year of friendship was also a tough period for me as I was going through a divorce from a 5 year relationship with a man who wasn’t on the same life path as me & kind of made me dislike myself just for being me (wanting kids, needing to be intrinsically motivated in my career rather than financially motivated)- basically he was type A & I am B. Anyhow, as I was processing my divorce & creating friendships, I got to know Chance better both at work & at hang outs with friends outside of work. I watched how the kids at school just flocked to him & how kind he was with everybody. He coached the basketball team, did an after school program with the SRO to help at risk kids, & often stepped in to help others with tasks that weren’t related to his job as social worker. & he always did it with a positive attitude & good sense of humor. People just LIKE him, you know? It became obvious that he was just a really good person. One day, we had a discussion about kids & how we both wanted them. He told me I’d be a great mother because of how I treat the students & I told him he’d also be a wonderful parent. & he cast his spell on me & I slowly started falling for him. I couldn’t quite figure it out. Here I was, recently divorced from a relationship that had a tremendous affect on me mentally/emotionally, & I was gaining feelings for a man who was very different from my ex, & 11 years older than me. Was I just looking for a distraction? Was I using him to boost my confidence up after it had spent so much time at all time low? Or was I simply recognizing that this man had all of the features that I’d been missing in my past relationship & maybe I should pay attention to that? I was worried that my judgement post- divorce couldn’t possibly be clear, so I expressed that I had feelings for him but had to take things very slow. I was a bit of a mess as I tried to take the initial steps to get closer to him. I’d get emotional & have somewhat of a panic attack, or I’d go through some wishy washy phases when it came to wanting to see him in general. No matter what it was, he said that he understood, he wasn’t going anywhere, & that he just wanted me to be ok. He’d always ask what he could do to help & what I needed from him to feel better. If we were kissing & he felt that I wasn’t comfortable, he’d stop. One time he could tell that I wasn’t feeling great & he cried because he thought he’d made me feel bad. Needless to say, he was always there for me & ACTUALLY cared about how I felt. As we got closer, he was always respectful, would leave me flowers on random or special occasions (like when I was in an art show that he attended, or the first day of a new semester at work), wanted to make things like holidays memorable for me (one time I specifically thought was sweet was when he decorated my place with a Christmas tree & lights because “it’s your first Christmas in your new apartment, it should be festive!”). I consistently got solid evidence that he was emotionally mature, ready for a relationship, & wanted the same things as me.
So, I thought, “why is this sweet, courteous, kind, responsible, funny man single?” I’d heard some woman at work “pick” at him about this & say “I just don’t get how you’re single!” & I honestly wondered myself. You always heard that it’s a ref flag if a man dates a woman over 10 years younger & that it’s because “women his age didn’t want him”. Well, there are a few rational explanations I could think of: 1. He’d been sexually abused by his stepsister for years as a child. He’d told me that he’d had a few relationships during his 20s & 30s, but they didn’t last long & he’d had some issues with women not dealing with his anxiety around sex well. With me, this was not an issue, really. We’d taken the physical really slow, & when one of us felt anxiety as things heated up, the other stopped & supported. After a few months, it became a non-issue & we were able to have great sex with no fear that one of us would get anxious. 2. When he was younger (childhood-20s) he was overweight. He began balding in his 20s & so he shaved his head. Maybe there weren’t a lot of women who wanted to be with the overweight, bald guy? Women can be just as shallow as men.
So, I began to try to look for any signs that maybe this man is “grooming” me or something. I looked for issues as well as green lights. How’s his family? His brother is happily married with children & Chance is close with his family, seeing them weekly. What are his friends like? I enjoy his friends. They’re nice, fun people & his best friends are in happy marriages. Does he manipulate you? No, he treats me like a princess (I’m not used to it) & tries to establish healthy relationship patterns (he always insists on a weekly date night, suggests activities together, such as me weight lifting with him & him running with me). He also hypes me up like no other- If I’m wearing a risky outfit that I love but know my mom would insult, BAM Chance is the first one to see it & his jaw drops to the floor. Always telling me how strong, sweet, & cool I am. Made me take his gloves when we went on a snowy hike & I’d forgotten mine. Just basically an endless stream of courtesy.
I have gotten a lot of evidence that this is a solid person with whom I could build a beautiful relationship & family with. Everything he’s shown me has been positive as far as communication, morals, empathy, kindness & life plans is concerned.
So… is the 11 year age gap a concern? Should I be more paranoid about why he is still single, or are my theories valid? Although he goes to the gym daily & is like a kid at heart, should I worry about his age when it comes to us potentially raising kids? He’d likely be 43-45 by the time I was ready for that.
If you have any thoughts, please let me know. Truthfully, I do have other potential options if I pursued them & I’m not afraid of being alone, but I’m feeling that I’d like to commit to a relationship.

so we have this project where we need to write three journal entries in the pov of an aztec or spanish conquistador, i chose aztec. please give me criticism, and tell me if there are any historical inaccuracies!
im 13 btw
initial contact:
november 8, 1519
I was outside, grinding corn, grinding it with the mano, over and over. I couldn't hear the screams of Chimalli, my older brother. He was sprinting, so fast, he tripped over the metate and spilled the corn. “Watch it, you fool!” I shouted, worried that I may get beaten. Nantli didn’t like food waste, and she wouldn’t care that it was foolish Chimalli’s fault. He was gasped for air, his hands on his knees. “Acalan… and I…were hunting…” He stopped and took a deep breath. “We were by the water when we saw this fish, a fish of great size. It wasn’t in the water, it was on top of it! It was brown, and atop it was 10 feet monsters with light skin!” I barked a laugh. “You’d better stop lying, Chimalli.” I decided to put the already ground corn back on the metate and take off the grass left in it. “I swear on the gods I'm not lying! I swear on Huitzilopochtli! Quetzalcoatl! All of them, I swear!”
I rolled my eyes, put the mano on the matate, and got up. “Show me what you’re talking about, fool.” Chimalli grabbed my hand tight and started running as fast as he could. I was whispering prayers to Patecatl, scared that what Chimalli was saying was true. We met up with Acalan and hid behind a bush near the lake. We could see the white-skinned people, and they were covered with weird clothing. They spoke loudly, in a peculiar way. They waved their hands around like birds and marched fiercely like jaguars. My heart was beating so loud, I was scared that Acalan and Chimalli would hear it. “They look so weird,” I whispered. The marched along, with their weird looking animals, amd were headed towards our causeway! Chimalli, Acalan and I exchanged a worried glance. Slowly and carefully, we all left our bush and headed back to the calpolli.
I went inside and saw Nantli sitting down, weaving. When she saw me, her face twisted in rage. “You dare spill the corn, leave the metate and mano unattended, and leave with the boys!? What were you even doing?” I shifted on my feet. Nantli was scary, but hse was understanding. Sometimes. “There are monsters on our land! They have big animals, a big brown fish that can swim ontop of water, and pale skin! The don’t speak Nahuatl, too!” i blurted out everything i saw, even if it didnt make sense. Chimalli was beside me, nodding his head so vigorously that it looked like it was about to fall off. Nantli got even more angry and said, “If you don’t stop lying this instant, i will call your Tahtli!” Chimalli and i both said in unison: NO!
“I swear on Huitzilopochtli! Tepeyollotl too! I even swear on Xolotl!” Chimalli cried as we were bothe getting pulled by the ear by Nantli. We were pulled outside, when we saw Tahtli. His face looked like he’d seen death. “Your foolish, lying children came to me talking nonsense about monsters with pale skin!” Nantli said, but Tahtli wasn’t fased. Tahtli was calmer then Nantli, and he was more wise. That was probably because he was a priest. However he was severe in punsiments. Nantli was all bark and no bite. Tahtli was bite, no bark, and when he did bite, it would last forever. He shook his head. “They're telling the truth. They are like us, but they have come from another land. Spain, they call it.” Nantli’s mouth was open so wide, I was trying my hardest not to laugh. She finally let go of me and Chimalli’s ear, her brows furrowing. “Did Moctezuma talk to them? Did you talk to them? How did they come here?” I side-stepped away from her, rubbing my ear. I exchanged a mischievous glance with Chimalli, and like a tiger, we left as fast and quietly as possible. In front of the door, Acalan was waiting for us impatiently and said, “Let’s go see them again. Maybe we’ll try to talk to them.” Chimalli raised his eyebrows. “Are you nuts!?” He exclaimed. I didn’t think it was a bad idea. Maybe we could understand their intentions. We never got to do that though. We never got to do anything.
Amoxtli
Spanish Conquest of the Aztecs
They kidnapped our ruler. The scary, stupid, dumb-looking monsters took our ruler. Foolish Chimalli brought it upon himself to save him. Nothing reasonable ever comes out of that stupid brain of his. He got killed doing it. Atleats he was brave. Braver than me, thats for sure. They have loud, long black tubes that shoot out fire. That killed him. Nantli hasn’t been the same, she doesn’t let me go to school anymore. Tahtli has fallen sick. Why is this happening? Is this a sign? Oh why, oh why? Oh gods, why?
I woke up, the rays of sunlight shining directly into my eyes. I got up, and to my right, was Acalan. He had decided to stay with us since all members of his calpolli had died unfateful deaths. His Nantli got sick, and his Tahtli and all of his other relatives died in the battle with the monsters. Whenever I start to pity myself, I remember Acalan. He’s got it worse. “Good morning,” I said. Acalan nodded, not uttering a word. He was looking outside, and his eyes had this aloof look to them. “Where’s Nantli?” I said, looking around the room. He mumbled something, but I couldn’t hear it. I sensed that he obviously wasn’t okay, so i scooched beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. “It's okay, just try not to think too much about it. I know how you feel, the gods will help us out.” I said softly. He shrugged my hand off his shoulder, and moved away from me. He was looking hard at the ground and whispered, “How can you be so sure?”
“Huh?”
“I said,” He looked at me square in the eye. “How can you be so sure? That’s what everybody’s been saying, but I'm getting tired of it. Face it, Amoxtli. The gods have done nothing for us. They’re just a bunch of stupid stories to scare us. My calpolli would still be here, alive and well. Those monsters wouldn’t have come here. The gods aren’t real.”
I sat there, stunned. What was he saying? He must be mad, because this isn’t the Acalan I know. The Acalan I know was so devout, more than I was. Maybe the grief got him bad. “And no, you don't know how I feel. You will never know how I feel. You ever think about jabbing a spear into your chest? You ever thought about jumping off the mountains, and drowning yourself underwater? You ever think of that? Huh?” Acalan continued. And before I knew it, he was sobbing. Acalan, the soon-to-be soldier who had never shed a tear, the boy whose heart was made out of stone, was crying. He was saying something in between sobs, but I couldn’t understand it. His face was buried in his hands. The truth is, no, I have never thought about any of those things. I didn’t know that Acalan was this affected by it. Maybe I’m the foolish one.
A few hours later, I told Nantli about what Acalan had been saying, except the blasphemous things. That brought out a side of her that i never knew she had. Her face softened, and she nodded with understanding. She comforted Acalan, giving him words of reassurance. Nantli sent me out to get water, since Chimalli wasn’t here to do it anymore. Every passing day I miss him more and more. As i walked through the village, I heard loud, bone-rattling screams. The monsters were pushing and shoving their way into the houses, and coming out with valuables. I stood there, frozen in place watching it all happen. A tall monster stood in front of me, and all I could do was stand there, looking stupid as we both stared at each other. He scowled and grabbed my bucket, throwing it on the floor. “Hey…!” I said quietly. He kicked my bucket and continued walking.
tbc

I love my family SO much like sosososoos much and like a couple days ago my grandpa and grandpa js be saying sad stuff bru, i was telling my grandma how i cant wait to have babys and she said that she hopes she will be able to see them and how like she wont always be around and it made me SO sad bro. The other day my grandpa was telling me that he built a outdoor shower for someone for his job and inwas telling him that when im older it would nice if he built me one and he said that he wont be around by then and his candles burning out. Mind you my grandma is like 55 and my grandpa is 74 AND IT MAKES ME SO SADDD BC IM SO CLOSE TO THEM AND THEY ARE MT EVERYTHING😭😭 they spoil me and take care me and are so caring, and i feel the same way about my divorced parents and i cant imagine losing ANY of my family bc they mean so much to me and its scary to think about death. I hope they are immortal bc i already lost two of my loveds this year and last, My dog and my tia. Anywyas im on my cycle nd im every emotional rn.

My husband of 5 years has been sneaking out of the house at night on the weekends and going to his friends house to drink all night long. I see him on the camera and I’m out of town visiting family on the weekends with our daughter. I ask him in the morning how he slept and he lies and says he sleeps great at home. Meanwhile I have him recorded leaving. I’ve never prohibited him to go to his friends and spend long hours away from home. I’ve encouraged it because he works a lot and I know he needs his time too. When I confronted him about it he becomes very angry and says fine I won’t ever go visit my friends and be miserable at home all the time. I told him I don’t wish that for him and I’m quite alright with him being out all night, he just has to communicate. Going out to drink and I’ll probably stay there so I’m not drinking and driving. This is so I know where he is and not staying up all night worried because he’s lying to me. I’m currently staying with my family house away because I don’t have a car and it’s being fixed. He’s playing the victim and not reading my texts, texting me or calling me. Straight silent treatment. I don’t know what to think but I’m feeling really crappy because I’m happy for him to see his friends several times a week and never gave him a problem. He said he’s lying because I don’t let him see his friends. That’s 100% not true. Could he be hiding something? What would be other reasons for him to hide going to his friends when im perfectly fine with it

I finished Gabriel's 10-week squat program on his app today. My back squat max before the program was 113 kg, and I hit 127 kg today. I weigh about 82 kg and have been weightlifting for 6 months. Overall, I liked the program and felt I was able to increase my PR by more than I had expected. The program was 10 weeks long, with 3 sessions a day, and each session took me around 2 hours to complete.
If you know Gabriel, then you know he loves volume. There were a lot of sets and reps, and there was a lot of waving in terms of load. I found the program to be challenging, and I even missed a couple of reps/sets along the way. But overall, it seemed pretty doable, and I never felt overwhelmed. I really liked the balance between all the exercises. Each session spent an equal amount of time on the classic lifts, back squats, and accessories. For every set and rep in the squats, there was an equal amount of work in accessories and other strength exercises like pulls and presses.
My favorite thing about the program was that it felt like it was building my whole body rather than just my quads. With the amount of work on hamstrings, lower back, and upper back, I always felt that the rest of my body was keeping up with my quads, and this focus on general strength kept me relatively injury-free. The biggest gain I noticed was not the 1RM strength but more the work capacity of my legs and the speed/rhythm of my squats. If I go back and watch my videos, I can see that the speed of my squats stayed relatively the same from 50% up to 90%+. I also felt that I had gotten much more explosive and started developing that signature Gabriel gunshot sound in my snatches and clean and jerks.
Regarding the Super Weightlifting app, I liked its build and functionality and felt all my needs were met. There is also a section in the app where you can post your lifting videos for form checks. I was able to get responses from Gabriel in less than 24 hours, even when he was traveling, and he would generally answer any follow-up questions on the same night. However, I feel you might have a different experience depending on your time zone.
All in all, I am happy with my progress, and I felt it was worth the money I paid. I will now be trying out his 5-day-a-week weightlifting program and probably do another squat cycle after that.
​

I am not one for negative reviews as I typically feel if I have a bad experience, it is just a bad day. However, this company has shown a pattern of poor care for its customers as well as lack of support in general. I opened my first checking account with them when I was 14 years old, and am now 26. I have had a personal checking and savings account with them for the last 10 years and opened a credit card with them 2 years ago. I have since decided that this is not the bank for me mainly due to a complete lack of customer service.
First of all, this bank began charging me maintenance fees on my checking account of nowhere a few months ago, so I tried to call. I sat on the phone punching #s for hours trying to get a human on the phone to see why this was. Not possible. So I visited a branch and they treated me like I was unimportant and could figure out my problems myself and was told to “go find the answer on google.” Eventually a banker met with me who said that since I was no longer a “student” I would be charged maintenance fees. Understandable, except I am a student. I pulled up my transcript and everything for this guy and he continued to tell me his hands were tied and he could not help. Fine, but kind of annoying.
So I get a credit card with bank of america, my first credit card mind you, and I’m enjoying earning rewards on my card and gaining cash back. I am person who prefers simplicity so I immediately set up autodraft/autopay to pay the statement balance each month. However for my first payment they drafted the statement amount twice from my BofA checking account. Not cool. I did not have that much in my checking account. Overdraft fee. I try calling to get help, again on the phone for multiple hours and unable to speak with a human. I go to a branch (different than the one in my last experience) where I am again told to call customer service or “use Erica, their AI chatbot,” so I leave and go to a different branch where someone finally helps me, but still is unable to refund the double charge OR the overdraft fee. They said, “it will just remain on your credit card as a statement credit so you won’t have to pay the next one.” Fine, but really annoying.
So Im a few months out from this I am getting married and we decided to bank with Chase (who is amazing on the customer service side by the way). I now have a checking account with Chase that is my main account, so I want to autodraft/autopay my BofA credit card with my chase checking account. Well, BofA makes that nearly impossible. I cannot figure out how to have BofA draft the exact statement balance due each month from my checking account automatically. I spend a few hours on google/reddit/etc trying to figure it out, which should not be hard considering I work with computers every day. However, I do not find a solution so I travel to a new BofA branch (not one I have been to before) and explain the situation that I would like to set up autodraft from a Chase checking acct. They tell me they cannot help with credit cards in the bank and I need to call customer service. Not falling for that again. So I go to ANOTHER new BofA branch that I have never been to and ask the same question. One lady does help me and says all I have to do is go to Chase bank to have them set this up because it is a problem on their end. So I do that. And Chase tells me that BofA will not share info with other banks to allow them to see amount due through the Chase bill pay feature. So I give up
A month later I have some free time and I am in a different city so I schedule an appointment with a BofA banker to see if we can revisit the credit card issue. I am helped! He calls customer service himself with me there, somehow gets a human on the line in only 5 minutes, and they send me an email how to setup my Chase checking acct as a “pay from account.” However these instructions do not work because for some reason my account is not eligible to be set up online and I must mail a voided check to bank of america headquarters before they can consider my account for enrollment. So I ask the banker if I have to use this BofA credit card to maintain it and he tells me he’s pretty sure I will receive notice prior to an closing of my credit cards, contrary to what redditors have shared, so I take his word for it and try to set up Autopay. Well I give up again.
So a few days later I am tired of this bank and decide to close my accounts and switch everything to chase. I made an appointment at ANOTHER new branch, so I am well travelled to the Bank of America Branches within South Carolina/North Carolina. I tell the banker I am closing and leaving BofA, she asks why, I tell her that their customer service is not very good and that bankers have little-to-no power to help with hardly anything an everyday customer may need. She tries to convince me to stay. I say no. I get her to close my checking and savings account and she tells me they can give me cash (the remaining balances in these accounts). I run my credit card scenario by her in a last ditch effort to get it figured out, but she cant help, and another banker overhears us talking, says “I am really good with credit card stuff, let me help you.” So I go to his office, explain everything, and he says he cant help me. Shocker. So I take my account closure statements across the foyer of the BofA branch and hand them to the teller to finally cash out and leave this place forever. He cannot accept my withdrawal. Somehow in the time between my talks with the first banker and the time I reach the teller 15 feet away their computer system has gone down. The teller informs me that the accounts have already been closed so there is no way to get the money out at the moment. All 4 branch bankers are behind the counter with him running through how they can service me and you know what their solution was? “Give us a call back every few hours to see if we have figured out a solution.” NO. I will NOT ever try to call BofA again. I am giving you my phone number to call ME once you have a solution. So I leave, and receive a call later that day because the teller tells me they are closing soon and he needs me to return to discuss my options. I drive back to the branch. He tells me I have 2 options: 1) have the checks mailed to me once BofA figures out how to solve this issue Or 2) come back first thing in the morning to follow up and hopefully figure it out. I am not going to trust BofA to figure out anything at this point so I decide I am going to return in the morning, and every day after until they fix this . At the moment they have no solutions, so I will see if they dreamt some up overnight tomorrow! I will update again as the story unfolds
TLDR: Bank of America is absolute Trash

We all want nothing more than for a relationship to be successful; to finally have that someone that you can consistently depend on and be with; to grow old with and go through life together.
We recently played the Let’s Get Deep Couples Edition card game and one question led to a whole conversation.
To keep it short, I haven’t been able to fulfill his sexual needs just in part due to traumas that I experienced and he has been patient enough to not ask me that because he didn’t want to push.
He, on the other hand, isn’t able to put in equal finances a la take me out on food dates, buy me goods, etc. whereas I put in more of the finances and secure a lot of that, of course with my own struggles.
It got to the point where he said in a defeated manner that he would understand if I left him because he wasn’t being a good boyfriend and wasn’t putting in equal efforts and would be fine with it as it would stop holding me back from being fully happy. I cried because I was shocked that he would say that instead of coming up with new ideas and ways to combat this hardship. On one hand, I understand where he is coming from and that he is ultimately looking out for my happiness but he also is really afraid of losing me.
Me, on the other hand, I now don’t know what to feel. I feel distant from him, I feel hurt that he isn’t wanting to put in the effort to keep me but instead is basically putting the cards in my hand to deal myself. I also love him a lot and can’t stand seeing him be hard on himself and be down and I hurt thinking about him having to struggle through life.
I’m conflicted because I love him and want the best for him and he does too. I’m not sure my next move. We have EDC coming up this week and after that, who knows. What struggles have you all gone through with your exes or current partners and how did the both of you overcome, if at all?

The Magic are young. They are on the rise. The franchise would be happy to have Lebron James (one of the greatest players in the history of the game) in their team. He will help them reach NBA finals... at least he would lead them to Eastern Conference finals before he retires. Not only that, but LeBron James can also be involved in coaching and motivating young players and owning the team (10 percent of the stock) and put Orlando Magic on the basketball map. But that is not the biggest reward for LeBron James. He will get to play with his son (Bronny James) in Florida...
Unlike Los Angeles, it is not going to be a lot of pressure in Orlando. Bronny James will get a lot of minutes and he will have a chance to grow as a player, which will give LeBron James a reason to hang around for a couple of years (three more years). Father and son will do everything in their power to reach NBA finals together and make history. The Orlando Magic have potential. They also have cap space to sign Klay Thompson and Pascal Siakam. LeBron James is not interested in money. He just wants to play with his son and reach NBA finals. The Orlando Magic can make LeBron James dream come true...
The Lakers don't have structure. They are always trying to buy championship. It might have worked in the past... but not anymore. The bubble doesn't really count. No fans, no home court advantage, a lot of players not being happy and losing focus because of Black lives matter and key players missing games through Covd-19. Now, things are changing, It has become a process: A - B - C - finals. You draft good players, you develop them, you make sure that they play together and win the conference and win the championship like The Denver Nuggets.
The Nuggets drafted Jamal Murray and Nikola Jokic and surrounded them with good role players. Even The Boston Celtics are following that format. They drafted Jaylan Brown and Jason Tatum and surrounded them with good role players. Lakers are the only team who don't go through that route. They have no patience. Maybe, it is not their fault. They are Lakers. They are excepted to compete at the highest leave from day 1. There is no room for development. That's why LeBorn should not sign with Lakers if he wants to play with his son. The media will criticize his son and put a lot of pressure on Bronny James. which would upset LeBron James and force him to retire sooner than expected.
LeBron James must avoid the Lakers at all costs if he wants to play with his son. One, it is not good for his mental health. Two, they will sign Bronny James and send him to G league. They will double cross LeBron James. Not only that, but also Lakers are not going to win championship in the next five years no matter what because they are not willing to wait. It is not in their DNA. They don't want to start from scratch, develop young players, and keep them together. We have already seen T-Wolves and Anthony Edwards and Karl-Anthony Town sweeping the Phoenix Suns and their three superstars in the first round before they defeated The Denver Nuggets (The defending champions) twice on the road. Now, the series tied 2 - 2. It does not matter. Young teams are ruling NBA... such as Oklahoma Thunders. They are the no. 1 seed in the Western Conference.
Besides, The Lakers are not deep. LeBron doesn't have to prove anybody that he is one of the greatest players of all time if not the greatest them of all. He doesn't need ring no. 5 to cement his legacy. LeBron James knows who he is. He knows that playing with his son (Bronny James) means everything to him. It is worth more than ring no. 5. In addition, it gives him more motivation to take his game to the next level and silence his critics...
It will also boast TV rating. A lot of people want to watch father and son play in NBA. It has never happened before. I think ESPN and other sport outlets should push a narrative how Father and son playing together would good for NBA. It will increase NBA revenue. Media, Instead of saying that Bronny James is not ready for NBA, they should promote it: the Greatest Of All Time entertaining basketball fans with his Son and have a time of his life. It would be something...

I 30f am way too old for this but. Ive never had a serious relationship. Met a guy at age 22 first guy I fell in love with. Only it wasnt mutual. We started off as a casual hookup/friendship which I thought I was OK with eventually told him I wasnt but he would kinda dangle the promise of a relationship with me for years and since we lived at a long distance that was kind of his excuse. It turned out he was not a nice guy anyway, he mistreated me a crazy amount and discarded me whenever convenient for him. He was narcissistic. He was also the most fun Ive ever had with a person. I will never feel that way again, but I have to remind myself it wasnt anything sentimental or real. Ive gone to therapy, online dated a ton, had some crushes, some flings, some longer things that almost turned serious but felt really boring. I cant seem to find someone and never feel good enough for the people I truly like and feel a connection to. It all started with him.
Anyway, he tried to reconnect many, many times to the point I had to block him on absolutely everything as he would not stop reaching out over the years but would only come back to shatter me again. He would always say how do you not have a boyfriend youre so xyz, and encourage me to find a boyfriend meanwhile he was just toying with my emotions. When I joined insta, about 6 months ago, he tried following me and I blocked him. Things went too far that last time we saw eachother, and I felt pathetic and degraded. Hes been blocked for about 2 years now. So our "not relationship" went on seven. years. I know this is shameful. I have a burner insta account where I lurk a bit (I know its bad) and I lurk several ppl himself included. He sent the account a message saying "why you lurking me". I blocked him on my burner account.
As an INFP how do I get rid of the sentimental feelings and reminiscing of a first love. Ive been open minded, but I have terrible luck/maybe just not quite "enough" for the type of person I wish to be with. Ive tried dating all types of guys but with the ones I truly like, I always get discarded. I get dates easily, but rarely get asked out a 2nd time. Guys I meet organically also lose interest super quick. I have come to accept I may never find someone, never have kids. I'll certainly never have that young love. Im kind of in a low point realizing this, even though other aspects of my life are going well. What I want most is romantic love. I guess thats why lately my mind wanders back to this guy just to see what hes doing as he was someone I talked to regularly for 7 years. I will never speak to him again but always wonder if he misses me ever.

okay very long backstory so basically the target i worked at for about half a year started treating me horribly. i had hopes of being promoted to a tl after my former tl put in a recommendation for me when he quit. i talked to the sd and she was considering me and thought i would do really well. i never ended up getting a chance to even apply for it🧍‍♀️
so obviously i put in extra work when i was trying to be noticed bc i want a promotion but none of it paid off and i ended up getting treated bad. i met my boyfriend working there and the entire store found out. we started getting targeted all the time (🤨 targeted at target) anytime we were around eachother even when i just happened to be in his aisle while i was looking for something (i was in fufillment) somehow an etl was always there. so we constantly got in trouble. and i mean i will admit there was a few times where we were just straight up not working but like… i’m not getting paid enough for how much effort i put into this job. we ended up getting a few talkings with our etls about us “loafing” and he got written up one time for it. 🙄
during new years eve my boyfriend and i caught covid and according to target covid doesn’t exist anymore so we had to either come into work sick or be forced to call off. i felt really sick so we didn’t go in. so that obviously made our attendance bad. after january when inventory shifts started, we were asked if we wanted to do inventory shifts. him and i both agreed that we would only do inventory if we did it together (we live together and gas is too expensive to be driving to different stores) they told us it would be no problem.
right as inventory started, i developed some kinda problem where i had a migraine for 2 full weeks straight and i was unconscious most of the time and was fainting often. there was no physical way that i was able to work so i had to call off for another two weeks. my boyfriend had to call off a few times to take me to doctor appointments because i couldn’t drive. they obviously got mad at us for me being sick again (because thats so my fault) we ended up not being scheduled for inventory shifts and/or only he was scheduled for an inventory shift while i was at our home store.
we ended up talking to hr and telling them that they agreed to scheduling us inventory shifts together and they’re clearly not doing it. they maybe scheduled us for 2 weeks and then nothing for a long time. in the meantime our hours were anywhere from 5-15 a week. while other people we knew that worked there were getting 20-40 consistently. we talked to hr one more time and told them like ok wtf. so we started getting inventory shifts for a while. while at other stores we really realized how bad our store was compared to others in the district. our store was so disorganized and toxic and full of drama and had lots of favoritism.
my bf and i decided that we are going to just keep working only inventory shifts until inventory was over. we were getting scheduled maybe 1 inventory shift and 1 regular shift at our store a week. we just called off basically everyday that wasn’t inventory because it literally wasn’t worth it driving 30 minutes for a 4 hour shift. we were honestly just seeing how long it would take to get fired at this point. we would check the new schedules and we were still on it💀
after a good while we stopped even worrying about calling off in the app and literally just stopped showing up. we never received a single call or message from our store. we ended up deciding to just walk out of an inventory shift one day and decided we’re never going back to work at target again. we were still getting schedules for sometime but one day my bf was locked out of his mytime app and couldn’t sign in or reset his password or anything. i still had access to mine so we thought it was just broken. after another week i also lost access to mine. we assumed we were just fired but we never received any kind of response from target like firing us.
so now i’m just wondering if i never received official confirmation from target saying i’m fired am i technically still employed 💀 i know i abandoned my job but i mean like i was expecting some kinda like hey um yeah btw you’re fired. we told maybe 2 random tms as we were walking out on our last day that we just quit but they didn’t even work at our store lol. so unless the inventory tls told our store that we just left and didn’t come back idk how they would’ve found out.
i’m honestly just curious as to if target is required to give a notice of being fired or if being locked out of mytime is their way of saying you’re fired. if i decide to randomly show up to that target one day am i like instantly banned and kicked out💀
tldr: i met my boyfriend working at target and ever sincd we started dating we started getting targeted by tls. we got in trouble constantly for doing nothing wrong. we also got in trouble for our bad attendance after being badly sick twice. we wanted to work inventory shifts and were just never scheduled for them after them telling us we would be scheduled together. him and i completely stopped showing up to work at our store. we eventually just walked out of an inventory without telling really anyone. we were still being scheduled for a while but then both of our mytime apps locked us out. we have never received any kind of confirmation saying if we were fired. obviously we completely abandoned our job but is target required to give a notice of being fired.

When I was in church, an elderly lady that I generally show respect for kept giving me the same advice over and over that brevity is better. I understood when I talked at a meeting that she might say that. But even outside that meeting and inside the main room in front of others, she made her point out loud to me again when I wasn't talking. Then after I shared my prayer concerns, she told me that again, even though I had genuine personal things to share. At lunch, and while I was talking with two other people I had introduced SPECIFICALLY so we could share ideas and network to pursue a community grant project for students, she said it again and again. Then turning away and walking away so I wouldn't respond. I can understanding saying it once, or reminding me if I talk too long at a meeting. But over and over? In front of others? When I wasn't talking to her? And then walking off so I can't respond. Is this okay? Is it a "polite" way of nagging or harassing someone? She is generally trying to be pleasant, but I guess she thinks she is speaking for other people, and telling me over and over. I smiled and bowed and said thank you each time. But in over and over in front of others, whether or not I was talking to her or talking about a specific project with details. Is that really the best way to do that? How would you respond? Should I just ask advice of another elder with experience with this?

So I figured I'd get on her and speak about what I have learned from testing people and there reactions to the things you do and says,so all my life well since the first time I noticed the reaction of someone from my actions,I have been testing people and seeing how they react to all different things and when they are in different moods,I've set back and stayed quiet and watched the and I have learned how to read everyone, and having this skill is a double edged sword, because there are a lot of people who can't be themselves around me regardless if I tell them I don't care,it's because of the psychological mind block it creates in their minds, when they are trying to play they're made up character they've made themselves out to look like,but when someone knows what they are about, it keeps going through there mind of the fact someone is watching them act and pretend to be this character, so they feel out of place and there could do a lot of different things,but they just need me out of the group,but they have a issue with just asking me to leave, this is their pride and ego narcissist kicking in and they have to do things in ways that make no sense to me and confuse me and make me look like the bad person or anything to cause their fans to dislike me and get me to leave, and this is the ways of a narcissist as most of them are call karans,but not every karan narcissist are the same in there psychological mindset,some karans are created by the effects of the sober mind of a person who are mentally and physically drained in there life and have no patience to anything,but they're stubborn and you can't help them with anything, especially mental strength by meds, you can watch them and see how miserable they are making themselves and everyone in their life,this is because they have a control issue and their way and their minds are so drained and exhausted and they can't think alike with anyone besides those like-minded people,but anyone who suggest meds or anything to help ease there issues of frustration they live with by living with a stubborn mind will be rejected and they will always remain miserable and ridiculous about the way others live there life and what they put in their bodies,lol I'm actually losing my track on this on how best to make people understand this better than I'm doing,lol,but anyway a lot of people need meds and which meds is all based on their actions and feelings with sober mind, everyones brain is created just a little different than the next and some are created way different by undeveloped areas of the brain,while the fetus is growing into the full human,this is a very important time for the mother to be careful and pick and choose how she lives, because of how sensitive the effects of everything may cause issues with the full development of the child's brain and the way there life will become,it's all based on the brain,but nobody will ever be exactly the same in how they think and there personality, so we have all different types of personalities,in the brain your moods you feel are all created by the brain creating different chemicals as we call drugs, so everyone does all different types of drugs everyday created by our brains and those are all the different moods and feels me have,but if your brain doesn't get fully developed to function properly to be able to handle the stress we deal with,as why we have all different medications to help boost that part of the brain and help level the chemicals being created,as Im ADHD and manic bipolar and suffering from bad depression,but it's all up and down and everywhere at times especially without any form of meds and I need strong meds to help level me, but my brain was underdeveloped in a few areas and I just have to help with boosting the dopamine level in my brain and I've been testing all different types of things trying to find a good level of my brains actively so I can function and relax, without any medication I lose all abilities,I can't think or function for weeks and sleep none stop,I lose all control of self control and my brain craves dopamine as it can't create the right amount to my me function normally,that is a effect when I was a fetus and something stopped the development of that area of my brain and few other areas that cause my depression and mood swings,my mother smoked marijuana and cigarettes while pregnant with me,so was this the thing that caused me to have these issues,idk but very possible by the way thc and nicotine effect the brain when in the system, the dopamine slows down and you because lost in confusion while getting hungry and giggly and I feel that way when I'm sober,but with a addition of feeling drunk and not giving a fuck and real social, but it never level and longer I am without the medications,my brain speeds up and I get more and more anxious and need to go go and do something or anything but I have zero interest in anything and I just pace the floor and call everybody and i never get any relief,even when I sleep I don't sleep and I wake up exhausted with my mind racing,I feel like I'm trapped in my misery and can't get out,the medications help relive it all and I feel alive relaxed and comfortable with good motivation to get things done, this is just my example of how the brain needs drugs and why people need meds and truth is everyone has the ability to understand why people do the things they do and why they feel the way they feel,but it's all based on brain development before birth, you can cause the issue with your brain by hitting your head and over dosing yourself with basically anything and hurt the function of your brain. There's people who's will be a totally different person with certain medications,but overall the personality is all based on the brains development before birth. So I've just confused myself from the point of understanding for you by what I am saying,lol I just know I was all over the place writing this, but it is all good to know about regardless and I will be back to write a lot more.🫣😊