Template 30-days notice

Ive been bouncing around barbers for the last few years since I just can’t seem to find one who is respective of my time.
I have a work trip tomorrow and wanted to get my hair cut over the weekend. I know this is a busy time so I expect quite a few people and for my reservation to be later in the day (I was using this app called Booksy which lets you book a service at a specified time slot).
I’ve had it happen so many times recently that I walk in at or mostly before my appointment time. Sit down. And before I know it, it’s 20-30 minutes AFTER my appointment and the barber is still cutting someone else.
I attribute it to the fact that they can’t help but completely stop to talk about whatever sports game or some kind of nonsense gossip. I understand the barbershop is like community for hetero men lol, but I’ve been to the salon with my sister and the talk of the day never seems to hinder their efficiency. She’s always in and out.
So I just get up and leave. It’s frustrating when you’re trying to be efficient and have shit to do later in the day and just trying to check it off your list.
I also noticed that the younger the barber, the less this is an issue. Older barbers are the ones who have to completely halt the job to talk, the younger ones can talk and keep cutting like it’s nothing. And they’re not too shabby either. Though I can only assume it gets worse as you age in that field lol.

My husband started Seroquel a month ago and has changed a lot.
I noticed he drinks alcohol more often like every day. He started smoking. And I feel like he has a porn addiction.
I noticed he goes to the restroom often and hangs out in there for average 30 minutes. So I’m Not sure if he’s avoiding me or just watching porn in there that often.
I have taken Seroquel as a teenager and don’t remember it doing stuff like this. Is this normal? It’s starting to make me depressed because my husband is not the same.

Hi all. I've been searching and am unable to find anything about this issue. My Ubuntu 24.04 startup times were fine until a couple of days ago when a delay became noticeable. I ran sudo dmesg to get the timeline of my bootup and discovered there is an attempt to start an unknown USB device:

[ 6.880856] xhci_hcd 0000:06:00.1: Timeout while waiting for setup device command [ 12.512914] xhci_hcd 0000:06:00.1: Timeout while waiting for setup device command [ 12.720796] usb 2-2: device not accepting address 2, error -62 [ 18.144605] xhci_hcd 0000:06:00.1: Timeout while waiting for setup device command [ 23.776849] xhci_hcd 0000:06:00.1: Timeout while waiting for setup device command [ 23.984831] usb 2-2: device not accepting address 3, error -62 [ 24.122665] usb usb2-port2: attempt power cycle [ 30.432699] xhci_hcd 0000:06:00.1: Timeout while waiting for setup device command [ 36.064932] xhci_hcd 0000:06:00.1: Timeout while waiting for setup device command [ 36.272796] usb 2-2: device not accepting address 4, error -62 [ 41.696730] xhci_hcd 0000:06:00.1: Timeout while waiting for setup device command [ 41.804803] logitech-hidpp-device 0003:046D:4060.0005: HID++ 4.5 device connected. [ 47.328556] xhci_hcd 0000:06:00.1: Timeout while waiting for setup device command [ 47.536803] usb 2-2: device not accepting address 5, error -62 [ 47.674445] usb usb2-port2: unable to enumerate USB device 

I have no idea what the device is, or why it keeps trying to start the device. Output from lsusb is:

Bus 001 Device 001: ID 1d6b:0002 Linux Foundation 2.0 root hub Bus 001 Device 004: ID 8087:0029 Intel Corp. AX200 Bluetooth Bus 002 Device 001: ID 1d6b:0003 Linux Foundation 3.0 root hub Bus 002 Device 006: ID 0634:5600 Micron Technology, Inc. Crucial X8 SSD Bus 003 Device 001: ID 1d6b:0002 Linux Foundation 2.0 root hub Bus 003 Device 002: ID 2900:5423 Generic 4-Port USB 2.0 Hub Bus 003 Device 003: ID 0b05:1939 ASUSTek Computer, Inc. AURA LED Controller Bus 003 Device 004: ID 0bda:5411 Realtek Semiconductor Corp. RTS5411 Hub Bus 003 Device 005: ID 1b1c:0c0a Corsair Hydro Series H115i Liquid CPU Cooler Bus 003 Device 006: ID 045e:0815 Microsoft Corp. USB Keyboard Fingerprint ID Bus 003 Device 007: ID 0bda:5450 Realtek Semiconductor Corp. BillBoard Device Bus 004 Device 001: ID 1d6b:0003 Linux Foundation 3.0 root hub Bus 004 Device 002: ID 2900:8383 Generic 4-Port USB 3.0 Hub Bus 004 Device 003: ID 0bda:0411 Realtek Semiconductor Corp. Hub Bus 004 Device 004: ID 2537:1081 Norelsys NS1081 Bus 004 Device 005: ID 0bda:8153 Realtek Semiconductor Corp. RTL8153 Gigabit Ethernet Adapter Bus 005 Device 001: ID 1d6b:0002 Linux Foundation 2.0 root hub Bus 005 Device 002: ID 046d:c52b Logitech, Inc. Unifying Receiver Bus 006 Device 001: ID 1d6b:0003 Linux Foundation 3.0 root hub 

I'm not missing any devices that I can tell, and every device I have plugged in seems to work just fine.
Anyone else experiencing something similar? Any solution? I'd really rather not have a 41 second delay every time I boot.

Around October last year I suddenly started getting intermittent high ping and packet loss (10-30%) on my home wifi and ethernet which became very noticeable during work calls and gaming. I used both sky and BT over my the last months I lived in that rural 70mbps max area but swapping between internet providers didn’t seem to effect anything. I initially believed it was caused by a faulty connection point or cables which I replaced several times to no avail. I contacted my internet provider and had several engineers sent out but they couldn’t find anything wrong with the physical connection and just kept dismissing the case aside from the occasional router change. (Including some of my own which I just bought online) I didn’t really believe them at the time because the same issues were present on multiple devices in the house and trace routes seemed to indicate there were issues at the neighbourhood box so I just brushed it off until I moved. (My new place has 1gbps on both wifi and LAN) However as soon as I moved to my new place my PC started having booting issues where it wouldn’t load into windows and would remain awake but on a blank screen until I did a boot override using my ssd from BIOS. However, stranger still is that my connection was working perfectly on all fronts for about 5 days with no issues whatsoever and high speeds before it suddenly started experiencing all the same problems again. (I’m currently using a Tp link router with virgin wifi gigabit internet) Every other device I’ve tested, including my phone, exhibits none of the same issues as my pc.
My Ethernet is controlled through the motherboard by a Realtek PCIe GbE family controller and my wifi by a 802.11n wireless LAN card, with neither showing any problems I’m able to see. I’ve tried updating and reinstalling every driver in my pc, tried checking for corrupt files, updated to the latest BIOS on a gigabyte B550 gaming x V2 motherboard, checked and redone every connection on the board (GeForce RTX 3060, wifi card, ddr4 16gb ram, AMD Ryzen 5 5600x, 1TB ssd + 500gb hdd etc), looked through device manager and event viewer for anything obvious, made an entirely new profile to see if the connection changed, used a USB to Ethernet adapter to check every USB port I could on the motherboard, (same issues across all) reset the network and the firewall several times and constantly run ping plotter and trace routes. I can’t seem to figure out if it’s something hardware or software related that’s destroying my connection. The setup for every other device on the new network from my phone to my TV is working perfectly. The packet loss on wired connections to my PC has gotten significantly worse to where it now averages around 60-90% with low ping, however the wifi seems to have much less packet loss but very high ping even though I’m setup directly next to my router. My only guesses at this point is that a chipset on the motherboard is fried or some firmware is busted but I’m at a complete loss because nothing has worked and it only seems to be getting worse. I’m not sure what to do from this point aside from take everything out and replace it so any advice or help is appreciated.

So I am not sure if I have abilities others don't or if I am more sensitive than the average person,
Background, I grew up in a haunted house but never experienced anything really outside of feeling like someone may be watching me, I had heard from other family what they had experienced when I was too young to remember.
As I got older I have always been different from most, however I have some mental issues, bipolar,ptsd,anxiety,addiction
I've always had vary vivid dreams from a young age, as I've gotten older I was very depressed and stuck to myself being homeschooled after the fith grade, I got into drugs at 17 and became addicted to various substances plus my mental illness went wild, however I no longer take substances outside of cannabis and mushrooms. I'm also as stable as I can been on medications.
As I moved out of the house at 13 to another I would get nightmares being in the old house and I would be getting tormented by spirits, It started as just a haunted house trying to scare me, then I got mad because of the occurrence and would be in a vivid dream taunting it, never really winning it would laugh or only show itself when it wanted to not me.
In my dreams I will see my loved ones like normal but be able to tell that isn't them and will notice and then my dreams get weird and I either wake up or try to get away, I'm aware now and don't get them as often but it was terrifying at a point.
I got into reading the satanic bible, lucifieran bible and necronomicon, at one point, during this I had a vivid dream I wasn't on this planet and went to a place that was dark with odd terain and glowing green water, however I had a dream I was going into a church and instead of a normal pastor it was a demonic one and had a cloak over his face , I had a rosary with a bone and gave it to him, accepting that I don't have power in my dreams and am sorry for taunting the spirits in my reoccurring nightmares, it went down to know I only have them rarely and know what's going on everytime it happens again.
During my addictions I have experienced sleep paralysis and it was terrifying, like a demonic smoke figure in a cloak looking at me feeding of the fear,
I have had my aunt pass and visit me in my dreams, I have had my grandpa pass and visit me in my dreams, I didn't get to say goodbye, and got closure in my dream, I woke up feeling like the hug was real.
I knew the night before my grandpa passed he was going to had a gut feeling but I decided not to follow that instinct, next morning I woke up to uncle banging the door however my dream was a old guy in a room that didn't have anything, just sitting infront of me no conversation, woke up and my grandpa was gone, feel it was him but didn't wanna show me it was him yet.
Anymore my nightmares if I have them are usually still in the old house and has to do with a spirit trying to take the shape of my loved ones, I have never seen the spirit responsible, only felt it in my dreams and heard laughs when I try to be more powerful than it.
Not super long ago I had a dream a tornado was coming for me at my current house, we had stroms not super long after and while it wasn't my house it hit 30 minutes away from me and my girlfriends step dads house got hit.
I feel like I am sensitive to energy, I can sense the feelings of being watched at times, getting goosebumps and hair standing up not due to the cold but somthing around, especially when I talk to people or give them tarot card readings, I can end up with my hairs standing or goosebumps if the conversation felt like it resonates with me.
I have an amazing relationship with my girlfriend, we I belive are twin flames, so similar, almost like we can read eachothers minds at times and say the same things at the same time often or can guess what she's about to say at times, but I also feel whenever her energy shifts and so does she if mine shifts.
I can sense if a person is good or bad, I can also at times sense somthing bad a long time in advance before it actually happens. Unfortunately.
One of the best new experiences I have had was taking mushrooms with my girlfriend for healing, I do it somewhat often, helped with grief , addictions, mental health, spirituality,
It brings us closer together and helps us both to heal, I didn't know it was possible but we managed to be able to use our energy on eachother while tripping and have what feels like full on sex without any touching involved, it can last for a long time too, this has happened the last 3-4 times we have tripped once we discovered how to tap into each other's minds. It's almost better than having actual sex, I feel like we leave our bodies and full on merge together as one during this time.
Now this is were it gets weird , a few days back we went to a place in amish country and once inside I noticed it felt off, however to not waste money and with everyone posting such good reviews figured we would stay and take mushrooms for healing as we do about once every month - 2 months,
I had the feeling in this house that the loft and basement were bad places to be, like being watched and feeling like there was somthing in this house, not sure what but something the first floor felt the best but still uneasy,
We had grabbed a clock from downstairs, plugged things into this one outlet next to the stairs and clock prior to taking mushrooms, they were charging, clock worked. Outlet worked, downstairs had a weird sad vibe to it ,weird musty smell also Sulphur smells randomly and even the water smelled like Sulphur there was a hornet in the toilet when we got there and had to flush it, also was 2 stains on the cieling in basement, not sure if it was water leak or if someone may have passed in the house and it soaked thru the ceiling of basement.
We wanted to paint eachother as we took the mushrooms, we did this until they started to kick in and once they kicked in we went and started fear and loathing in lost vegas, once I started getting closed eye visuals and working on my innerwork, my girlfriend felt like she wanted to go downstairs to lay in bed,
We stayed in bed holding eachother , bonding, eventually tuning into eachothers energy having sex without actually having it, then we couldn't hold back anymore and actually had sex, however we stayed down there until the trip wore off, it was about 3 am and everything switched on us.
She was feeling really sad and like she wanted to leave this place, I felt like I was being watched down there and somthing bad had happened in the past, I went to go upstairs was kinda afraid to alone but eventually went upstairs because she wouldn't at the time, tried to charge my phone and the outlet and clock didn't work anymore, I had been talking about leaving the house because she was feeling targeted and I felt like it didn't like either of us but like it wanted to feed off her if she went to sleep.
We went upstairs at a point and when I was asking if there were spirit's in the house and that if so I meant no disrespect and will only be staying until we could leave in the morning safely, as I would talk about the spirits seemed like my girlfriend would feel sick, same as being in the bed, very sad while downstairs.
I opened a bible and it was weird it didn't even feel like real paper , it also was moving by itself somewhat like working against me or moving for me to point out things, the clock on the wall was moving way faster than normal after this,
I tried getting her to leave , I didn't want to stay anylonger but knew we had to wait until sunlight atleast, she fell asleep and I was sitting next to her in this erie basement, had to turn the fan on because felt like if it was quiet I would loose it, what's not normal is the fact that she went to sleep and didn't really move, make sounds or anything like usual. I felt like I could hear people upstairs as she was asleep, almost like music was playing or a man signing and it was on repeat it would come and go, such low volume but also loud , the fan in the mix didn't help but I didn't wanna hear it anylouder.
I ended up trying to sleep and kinda did for a few hours but no dream I was hoping I would have a vivid dream of what happened in this house.
In the morning got our stuff packed up and left, before leaving I had used a ghost box. Told the spirit we were about to leave and as my girlfriend was going to the car it talked, then when she came back inside I left the ghostbox going and it talked while we were both there. I told it that we are leaving and this is your house but you are not welcome to come with us. Right as I opened the door I got a whiff of sulphur and as we left the house sulphur smell followed for a while.
Went to a shop got sage, used it before we got home, then yesterday unpacked from our trip and I made the joke about hopefully nothing came back with us from there. I went fishing and used the scissors from the house, i forgot to put them back so I have them. I saged our room, bags, clothes and once I found it left it outside in our burn barrel, didn't wanna risk it being in the house.
Last night we should have gotten good rest tho and we did not so I wonder if it had to do with those scissors coming from that house. 🤔
Anyways, long story but honest opinion would be helpful and on top of that if theres a way to strengthen my senses and all that would love to know!

So I've been using this device for roughly 3 days now and I've noticed when I game that from roughly 85% it goes down to around 30% in 2 to 2.5 hours. The game I've been playing is Mobile Legends, the graphics and fps setting is both high (ultra not avail, just about 7-10% drain per game). Is this normal? I don't really have much experience with "high-end phones" (I call them high end because it's the first time I had a phone this powerful hahaha) so I am having difficulty in assessing whether this battery drain is normal or not. Btw, it doesn't really heat up at all because we have an AC in the house, and I am in performance mode when I game.
Aside from the battery, another very small issue I've encountered is sometimes I have to double swipe to get to the control center. Not really an issue but annoying af.
Though even with all of this, the fkin performance is out of this world. I tried genshin on this highest graphic, 60fps, and motion blur on. And it handles like a champ, like it's so fkin smooth. So yeah I have no gripes about the performance, just the battery life and a little about the ui.

So I am not sure if I have abilities others don't or if I am more sensitive than the average person,
Background, I grew up in a haunted house but never experienced anything really outside of feeling like someone may be watching me, I had heard from other family what they had experienced when I was too young to remember.
As I got older I have always been different from most, however I have some mental issues, bipolar,ptsd,anxiety,addiction
I've always had vary vivid dreams from a young age, as I've gotten older I was very depressed and stuck to myself being homeschooled after the fith grade, I got into drugs at 17 and became addicted to various substances plus my mental illness went wild, however I no longer take substances outside of cannabis and mushrooms. I'm also as stable as I can been on medications.
As I moved out of the house at 13 to another I would get nightmares being in the old house and I would be getting tormented by spirits, It started as just a haunted house trying to scare me, then I got mad because of the occurrence and would be in a vivid dream taunting it, never really winning it would laugh or only show itself when it wanted to not me.
In my dreams I will see my loved ones like normal but be able to tell that isn't them and will notice and then my dreams get weird and I either wake up or try to get away, I'm aware now and don't get them as often but it was terrifying at a point.
I got into reading the satanic bible, lucifieran bible and necronomicon, at one point, during this I had a vivid dream I wasn't on this planet and went to a place that was dark with odd terain and glowing green water, however I had a dream I was going into a church and instead of a normal pastor it was a demonic one and had a cloak over his face , I had a rosary with a bone and gave it to him, accepting that I don't have power in my dreams and am sorry for taunting the spirits in my reoccurring nightmares, it went down to know I only have them rarely and know what's going on everytime it happens again.
During my addictions I have experienced sleep paralysis and it was terrifying, like a demonic smoke figure in a cloak looking at me feeding of the fear,
I have had my aunt pass and visit me in my dreams, I have had my grandpa pass and visit me in my dreams, I didn't get to say goodbye, and got closure in my dream, I woke up feeling like the hug was real.
I knew the night before my grandpa passed he was going to had a gut feeling but I decided not to follow that instinct, next morning I woke up to uncle banging the door however my dream was a old guy in a room that didn't have anything, just sitting infront of me no conversation, woke up and my grandpa was gone, feel it was him but didn't wanna show me it was him yet.
Anymore my nightmares if I have them are usually still in the old house and has to do with a spirit trying to take the shape of my loved ones, I have never seen the spirit responsible, only felt it in my dreams and heard laughs when I try to be more powerful than it.
Not super long ago I had a dream a tornado was coming for me at my current house, we had stroms not super long after and while it wasn't my house it hit 30 minutes away from me and my girlfriends step dads house got hit.
I feel like I am sensitive to energy, I can sense the feelings of being watched at times, getting goosebumps and hair standing up not due to the cold but somthing around, especially when I talk to people or give them tarot card readings, I can end up with my hairs standing or goosebumps if the conversation felt like it resonates with me.
I have an amazing relationship with my girlfriend, we I belive are twin flames, so similar, almost like we can read eachothers minds at times and say the same things at the same time often or can guess what she's about to say at times, but I also feel whenever her energy shifts and so does she if mine shifts.
I can sense if a person is good or bad, I can also at times sense somthing bad a long time in advance before it actually happens. Unfortunately.
One of the best new experiences I have had was taking mushrooms with my girlfriend for healing, I do it somewhat often, helped with grief , addictions, mental health, spirituality,
It brings us closer together and helps us both to heal, I didn't know it was possible but we managed to be able to use our energy on eachother while tripping and have what feels like full on sex without any touching involved, it can last for a long time too, this has happened the last 3-4 times we have tripped once we discovered how to tap into each other's minds. It's almost better than having actual sex, I feel like we leave our bodies and full on merge together as one during this time.
Now this is were it gets weird , a few days back we went to a place in amish country and once inside I noticed it felt off, however to not waste money and with everyone posting such good reviews figured we would stay and take mushrooms for healing as we do about once every month - 2 months,
I had the feeling in this house that the loft and basement were bad places to be, like being watched and feeling like there was somthing in this house, not sure what but something the first floor felt the best but still uneasy,
We had grabbed a clock from downstairs, plugged things into this one outlet next to the stairs and clock prior to taking mushrooms, they were charging, clock worked. Outlet worked, downstairs had a weird sad vibe to it ,weird musty smell also Sulphur smells randomly and even the water smelled like Sulphur there was a hornet in the toilet when we got there and had to flush it, also was 2 stains on the cieling in basement, not sure if it was water leak or if someone may have passed in the house and it soaked thru the ceiling of basement.
We wanted to paint eachother as we took the mushrooms, we did this until they started to kick in and once they kicked in we went and started fear and loathing in lost vegas, once I started getting closed eye visuals and working on my innerwork, my girlfriend felt like she wanted to go downstairs to lay in bed,
We stayed in bed holding eachother , bonding, eventually tuning into eachothers energy having sex without actually having it, then we couldn't hold back anymore and actually had sex, however we stayed down there until the trip wore off, it was about 3 am and everything switched on us.
She was feeling really sad and like she wanted to leave this place, I felt like I was being watched down there and somthing bad had happened in the past, I went to go upstairs was kinda afraid to alone but eventually went upstairs because she wouldn't at the time, tried to charge my phone and the outlet and clock didn't work anymore, I had been talking about leaving the house because she was feeling targeted and I felt like it didn't like either of us but like it wanted to feed off her if she went to sleep.
We went upstairs at a point and when I was asking if there were spirit's in the house and that if so I meant no disrespect and will only be staying until we could leave in the morning safely, as I would talk about the spirits seemed like my girlfriend would feel sick, same as being in the bed, very sad while downstairs.
I opened a bible and it was weird it didn't even feel like real paper , it also was moving by itself somewhat like working against me or moving for me to point out things, the clock on the wall was moving way faster than normal after this,
I tried getting her to leave , I didn't want to stay anylonger but knew we had to wait until sunlight atleast, she fell asleep and I was sitting next to her in this erie basement, had to turn the fan on because felt like if it was quiet I would loose it, what's not normal is the fact that she went to sleep and didn't really move, make sounds or anything like usual. I felt like I could hear people upstairs as she was asleep, almost like music was playing or a man signing and it was on repeat it would come and go, such low volume but also loud , the fan in the mix didn't help but I didn't wanna hear it anylouder.
I ended up trying to sleep and kinda did for a few hours but no dream I was hoping I would have a vivid dream of what happened in this house.
In the morning got our stuff packed up and left, before leaving I had used a ghost box. Told the spirit we were about to leave and as my girlfriend was going to the car it talked, then when she came back inside I left the ghostbox going and it talked while we were both there. I told it that we are leaving and this is your house but you are not welcome to come with us. Right as I opened the door I got a whiff of sulphur and as we left the house sulphur smell followed for a while.
Went to a shop got sage, used it before we got home, then yesterday unpacked from our trip and I made the joke about hopefully nothing came back with us from there. I went fishing and used the scissors from the house, i forgot to put them back so I have them. I saged our room, bags, clothes and once I found it left it outside in our burn barrel, didn't wanna risk it being in the house.
Last night we should have gotten good rest tho and we did not so I wonder if it had to do with those scissors coming from that house. 🤔
Anyways, long story but honest opinion would be helpful and on top of that if theres a way to strengthen my senses and all that would love to know!

So I am not sure if I have abilities others don't or if I am more sensitive than the average person,
Background, I grew up in a haunted house but never experienced anything really outside of feeling like someone may be watching me, I had heard from other family what they had experienced when I was too young to remember.
As I got older I have always been different from most, however I have some mental issues, bipolar,ptsd,anxiety,addiction
I've always had vary vivid dreams from a young age, as I've gotten older I was very depressed and stuck to myself being homeschooled after the fith grade, I got into drugs at 17 and became addicted to various substances plus my mental illness went wild, however I no longer take substances outside of cannabis and mushrooms. I'm also as stable as I can been on medications.
As I moved out of the house at 13 to another I would get nightmares being in the old house and I would be getting tormented by spirits, It started as just a haunted house trying to scare me, then I got mad because of the occurrence and would be in a vivid dream taunting it, never really winning it would laugh or only show itself when it wanted to not me.
In my dreams I will see my loved ones like normal but be able to tell that isn't them and will notice and then my dreams get weird and I either wake up or try to get away, I'm aware now and don't get them as often but it was terrifying at a point.
I got into reading the satanic bible, lucifieran bible and necronomicon, at one point, during this I had a vivid dream I wasn't on this planet and went to a place that was dark with odd terain and glowing green water, however I had a dream I was going into a church and instead of a normal pastor it was a demonic one and had a cloak over his face , I had a rosary with a bone and gave it to him, accepting that I don't have power in my dreams and am sorry for taunting the spirits in my reoccurring nightmares, it went down to know I only have them rarely and know what's going on everytime it happens again.
During my addictions I have experienced sleep paralysis and it was terrifying, like a demonic smoke figure in a cloak looking at me feeding of the fear,
I have had my aunt pass and visit me in my dreams, I have had my grandpa pass and visit me in my dreams, I didn't get to say goodbye, and got closure in my dream, I woke up feeling like the hug was real.
I knew the night before my grandpa passed he was going to had a gut feeling but I decided not to follow that instinct, next morning I woke up to uncle banging the door however my dream was a old guy in a room that didn't have anything, just sitting infront of me no conversation, woke up and my grandpa was gone, feel it was him but didn't wanna show me it was him yet.
Anymore my nightmares if I have them are usually still in the old house and has to do with a spirit trying to take the shape of my loved ones, I have never seen the spirit responsible, only felt it in my dreams and heard laughs when I try to be more powerful than it.
Not super long ago I had a dream a tornado was coming for me at my current house, we had stroms not super long after and while it wasn't my house it hit 30 minutes away from me and my girlfriends step dads house got hit.
I feel like I am sensitive to energy, I can sense the feelings of being watched at times, getting goosebumps and hair standing up not due to the cold but somthing around, especially when I talk to people or give them tarot card readings, I can end up with my hairs standing or goosebumps if the conversation felt like it resonates with me.
I have an amazing relationship with my girlfriend, we I belive are twin flames, so similar, almost like we can read eachothers minds at times and say the same things at the same time often or can guess what she's about to say at times, but I also feel whenever her energy shifts and so does she if mine shifts.
I can sense if a person is good or bad, I can also at times sense somthing bad a long time in advance before it actually happens. Unfortunately.
One of the best new experiences I have had was taking mushrooms with my girlfriend for healing, I do it somewhat often, helped with grief , addictions, mental health, spirituality,
It brings us closer together and helps us both to heal, I didn't know it was possible but we managed to be able to use our energy on eachother while tripping and have what feels like full on sex without any touching involved, it can last for a long time too, this has happened the last 3-4 times we have tripped once we discovered how to tap into each other's minds. It's almost better than having actual sex, I feel like we leave our bodies and full on merge together as one during this time.
Now this is were it gets weird , a few days back we went to a place in amish country and once inside I noticed it felt off, however to not waste money and with everyone posting such good reviews figured we would stay and take mushrooms for healing as we do about once every month - 2 months,
I had the feeling in this house that the loft and basement were bad places to be, like being watched and feeling like there was somthing in this house, not sure what but something the first floor felt the best but still uneasy,
We had grabbed a clock from downstairs, plugged things into this one outlet next to the stairs and clock prior to taking mushrooms, they were charging, clock worked. Outlet worked, downstairs had a weird sad vibe to it ,weird musty smell also Sulphur smells randomly and even the water smelled like Sulphur there was a hornet in the toilet when we got there and had to flush it, also was 2 stains on the cieling in basement, not sure if it was water leak or if someone may have passed in the house and it soaked thru the ceiling of basement.
We wanted to paint eachother as we took the mushrooms, we did this until they started to kick in and once they kicked in we went and started fear and loathing in lost vegas, once I started getting closed eye visuals and working on my innerwork, my girlfriend felt like she wanted to go downstairs to lay in bed,
We stayed in bed holding eachother , bonding, eventually tuning into eachothers energy having sex without actually having it, then we couldn't hold back anymore and actually had sex, however we stayed down there until the trip wore off, it was about 3 am and everything switched on us.
She was feeling really sad and like she wanted to leave this place, I felt like I was being watched down there and somthing bad had happened in the past, I went to go upstairs was kinda afraid to alone but eventually went upstairs because she wouldn't at the time, tried to charge my phone and the outlet and clock didn't work anymore, I had been talking about leaving the house because she was feeling targeted and I felt like it didn't like either of us but like it wanted to feed off her if she went to sleep.
We went upstairs at a point and when I was asking if there were spirit's in the house and that if so I meant no disrespect and will only be staying until we could leave in the morning safely, as I would talk about the spirits seemed like my girlfriend would feel sick, same as being in the bed, very sad while downstairs.
I opened a bible and it was weird it didn't even feel like real paper , it also was moving by itself somewhat like working against me or moving for me to point out things, the clock on the wall was moving way faster than normal after this,
I tried getting her to leave , I didn't want to stay anylonger but knew we had to wait until sunlight atleast, she fell asleep and I was sitting next to her in this erie basement, had to turn the fan on because felt like if it was quiet I would loose it, what's not normal is the fact that she went to sleep and didn't really move, make sounds or anything like usual. I felt like I could hear people upstairs as she was asleep, almost like music was playing or a man signing and it was on repeat it would come and go, such low volume but also loud , the fan in the mix didn't help but I didn't wanna hear it anylouder.
I ended up trying to sleep and kinda did for a few hours but no dream I was hoping I would have a vivid dream of what happened in this house.
In the morning got our stuff packed up and left, before leaving I had used a ghost box. Told the spirit we were about to leave and as my girlfriend was going to the car it talked, then when she came back inside I left the ghostbox going and it talked while we were both there. I told it that we are leaving and this is your house but you are not welcome to come with us. Right as I opened the door I got a whiff of sulphur and as we left the house sulphur smell followed for a while.
Went to a shop got sage, used it before we got home, then yesterday unpacked from our trip and I made the joke about hopefully nothing came back with us from there. I went fishing and used the scissors from the house, i forgot to put them back so I have them. I saged our room, bags, clothes and once I found it left it outside in our burn barrel, didn't wanna risk it being in the house.
Last night we should have gotten good rest tho and we did not so I wonder if it had to do with those scissors coming from that house. 🤔
Anyways, long story but honest opinion would be helpful and on top of that if theres a way to strengthen my senses and all that would love to know!

So I am not sure if I have abilities others don't or if I am more sensitive than the average person,
Background, I grew up in a haunted house but never experienced anything really outside of feeling like someone may be watching me, I had heard from other family what they had experienced when I was too young to remember.
As I got older I have always been different from most, however I have some mental issues, bipolar,ptsd,anxiety,addiction
I've always had vary vivid dreams from a young age, as I've gotten older I was very depressed and stuck to myself being homeschooled after the fith grade, I got into drugs at 17 and became addicted to various substances plus my mental illness went wild, however I no longer take substances outside of cannabis and mushrooms. I'm also as stable as I can been on medications.
As I moved out of the house at 13 to another I would get nightmares being in the old house and I would be getting tormented by spirits, It started as just a haunted house trying to scare me, then I got mad because of the occurrence and would be in a vivid dream taunting it, never really winning it would laugh or only show itself when it wanted to not me.
In my dreams I will see my loved ones like normal but be able to tell that isn't them and will notice and then my dreams get weird and I either wake up or try to get away, I'm aware now and don't get them as often but it was terrifying at a point.
I got into reading the satanic bible, lucifieran bible and necronomicon, at one point, during this I had a vivid dream I wasn't on this planet and went to a place that was dark with odd terain and glowing green water, however I had a dream I was going into a church and instead of a normal pastor it was a demonic one and had a cloak over his face , I had a rosary with a bone and gave it to him, accepting that I don't have power in my dreams and am sorry for taunting the spirits in my reoccurring nightmares, it went down to know I only have them rarely and know what's going on everytime it happens again.
During my addictions I have experienced sleep paralysis and it was terrifying, like a demonic smoke figure in a cloak looking at me feeding of the fear,
I have had my aunt pass and visit me in my dreams, I have had my grandpa pass and visit me in my dreams, I didn't get to say goodbye, and got closure in my dream, I woke up feeling like the hug was real.
I knew the night before my grandpa passed he was going to had a gut feeling but I decided not to follow that instinct, next morning I woke up to uncle banging the door however my dream was a old guy in a room that didn't have anything, just sitting infront of me no conversation, woke up and my grandpa was gone, feel it was him but didn't wanna show me it was him yet.
Anymore my nightmares if I have them are usually still in the old house and has to do with a spirit trying to take the shape of my loved ones, I have never seen the spirit responsible, only felt it in my dreams and heard laughs when I try to be more powerful than it.
Not super long ago I had a dream a tornado was coming for me at my current house, we had stroms not super long after and while it wasn't my house it hit 30 minutes away from me and my girlfriends step dads house got hit.
I feel like I am sensitive to energy, I can sense the feelings of being watched at times, getting goosebumps and hair standing up not due to the cold but somthing around, especially when I talk to people or give them tarot card readings, I can end up with my hairs standing or goosebumps if the conversation felt like it resonates with me.
I have an amazing relationship with my girlfriend, we I belive are twin flames, so similar, almost like we can read eachothers minds at times and say the same things at the same time often or can guess what she's about to say at times, but I also feel whenever her energy shifts and so does she if mine shifts.
I can sense if a person is good or bad, I can also at times sense somthing bad a long time in advance before it actually happens. Unfortunately.
One of the best new experiences I have had was taking mushrooms with my girlfriend for healing, I do it somewhat often, helped with grief , addictions, mental health, spirituality,
It brings us closer together and helps us both to heal, I didn't know it was possible but we managed to be able to use our energy on eachother while tripping and have what feels like full on sex without any touching involved, it can last for a long time too, this has happened the last 3-4 times we have tripped once we discovered how to tap into each other's minds. It's almost better than having actual sex, I feel like we leave our bodies and full on merge together as one during this time.
Now this is were it gets weird , a few days back we went to a place in amish country and once inside I noticed it felt off, however to not waste money and with everyone posting such good reviews figured we would stay and take mushrooms for healing as we do about once every month - 2 months,
I had the feeling in this house that the loft and basement were bad places to be, like being watched and feeling like there was somthing in this house, not sure what but something the first floor felt the best but still uneasy,
We had grabbed a clock from downstairs, plugged things into this one outlet next to the stairs and clock prior to taking mushrooms, they were charging, clock worked. Outlet worked, downstairs had a weird sad vibe to it ,weird musty smell also Sulphur smells randomly and even the water smelled like Sulphur there was a hornet in the toilet when we got there and had to flush it, also was 2 stains on the cieling in basement, not sure if it was water leak or if someone may have passed in the house and it soaked thru the ceiling of basement.
We wanted to paint eachother as we took the mushrooms, we did this until they started to kick in and once they kicked in we went and started fear and loathing in lost vegas, once I started getting closed eye visuals and working on my innerwork, my girlfriend felt like she wanted to go downstairs to lay in bed,
We stayed in bed holding eachother , bonding, eventually tuning into eachothers energy having sex without actually having it, then we couldn't hold back anymore and actually had sex, however we stayed down there until the trip wore off, it was about 3 am and everything switched on us.
She was feeling really sad and like she wanted to leave this place, I felt like I was being watched down there and somthing bad had happened in the past, I went to go upstairs was kinda afraid to alone but eventually went upstairs because she wouldn't at the time, tried to charge my phone and the outlet and clock didn't work anymore, I had been talking about leaving the house because she was feeling targeted and I felt like it didn't like either of us but like it wanted to feed off her if she went to sleep.
We went upstairs at a point and when I was asking if there were spirit's in the house and that if so I meant no disrespect and will only be staying until we could leave in the morning safely, as I would talk about the spirits seemed like my girlfriend would feel sick, same as being in the bed, very sad while downstairs.
I opened a bible and it was weird it didn't even feel like real paper , it also was moving by itself somewhat like working against me or moving for me to point out things, the clock on the wall was moving way faster than normal after this,
I tried getting her to leave , I didn't want to stay anylonger but knew we had to wait until sunlight atleast, she fell asleep and I was sitting next to her in this erie basement, had to turn the fan on because felt like if it was quiet I would loose it, what's not normal is the fact that she went to sleep and didn't really move, make sounds or anything like usual. I felt like I could hear people upstairs as she was asleep, almost like music was playing or a man signing and it was on repeat it would come and go, such low volume but also loud , the fan in the mix didn't help but I didn't wanna hear it anylouder.
I ended up trying to sleep and kinda did for a few hours but no dream I was hoping I would have a vivid dream of what happened in this house.
In the morning got our stuff packed up and left, before leaving I had used a ghost box. Told the spirit we were about to leave and as my girlfriend was going to the car it talked, then when she came back inside I left the ghostbox going and it talked while we were both there. I told it that we are leaving and this is your house but you are not welcome to come with us. Right as I opened the door I got a whiff of sulphur and as we left the house sulphur smell followed for a while.
Went to a shop got sage, used it before we got home, then yesterday unpacked from our trip and I made the joke about hopefully nothing came back with us from there. I went fishing and used the scissors from the house, i forgot to put them back so I have them. I saged our room, bags, clothes and once I found it left it outside in our burn barrel, didn't wanna risk it being in the house.
Last night we should have gotten good rest tho and we did not so I wonder if it had to do with those scissors coming from that house. 🤔
Anyways, long story but honest opinion would be helpful and on top of that if theres a way to strengthen my senses and all that would love to know!

Hey people. I wanted to share my long ass story about how nitrous used to be one of my most favorite things in the world and now my relationship with it is complicated and twisted.
A lot of this will tackle interpersonal relationship dynamics, but I’m trying to illustrate to the reader the progression of how this drug took my ex’s mind. This is more of a thorough essay about my experience than a rant. When I was going through what I went through at the time, I wished there was a story like this out there to help me know better and understand. This is how I watched the love of my life melt away his brain on this drug.
I will try and keep this brief, but it probably won't be. I wish to convey the addictiveness this drug can have and the toll it can take on your mind and body. In the summer of 2022 I met my then bf who introduced me to the rave scene and drug scene he was a part of. He really only used K and Nitrous (which I will refer to as N going forward). He told me about his 1.5 years of being addicted to K, but did not inform me of his also 1.5 years (at the time) addiction to N. He told me after meeting me he didn’t want to abuse K anymore so as far as I knew when we started dating he got better about that.
It all started very early in the relationship. We went to a weekend festival together and both found doing N together was so fun. We continued on using and abusing N every weekend, and sometimes many weekdays. Probably going through 6 or 8+ tanks a week, this went on for like 3 months. Sadly, I do look back on those days fondly, despite what would happen later down the line. We had so much fun together and yes sadly it bonded us in this weird way. Using it causes you to feel more open and positive in the beginning, and we had so many heartfelt and deep conversations. And it felt like a little special world we could go into together.
At the time I had no clue how much those small-medium sized tanks cost ($65 and up for just one where we live). And he never told me how much they cost, and didn’t ask me to chip in, so I had no idea he was throwing himself into financial ruin buying them all the time. Looking back I have no idea why I didn’t ask, I just figured they were only $25 or something, or his friend was giving them to him, and I was aware it was probably a poor financial decision, but figured he could bounce back after the summer. You have to understand I thought I had him figured out, but I didn’t really know him that well at this point, or know about the drug scene at all. Before this I really only drank and smoked weed with the occasional cid or shrooms trip.
Three months into us dating and abusing N we come to the conclusion we just need to stop and take a break from N as this had all become quite excessive. Still he doesn’t explain to me how much debt he is in from buying all of those tanks over the summer. Two months into the break and he’s starting to crack, asking for me to be okay with us using it regularly. I tell him that I think it’s okay for us to just do it once and awhile. It was hard to not cave in because truthfully I missed it as well, I myself was starting to feel the addictiveness of this drug, so I reserved it so that I only ever did it with him. We go back to doing it occasionally on the weekends. Over the span of 1 month my bf started to constantly complain of having nerve issues, his feet and legs and hands were numb, I also noticed that he seemed really depressed. This is when he started to experience the vitamin B deficiency, although both me and him didn’t realize this at the time.
Around this time is when he finally and unceremoniously reveals to me how much these things actually cost. This is the tricky aspect of his personality I would go on to experience more of. It was clear he was resentful towards me, that I had no idea how much money he was spending, but the reality is if I had known how much those things cost I would have ended it a lot sooner. I didn’t even understand how he had the ability to spend so much money, I don’t even want to do the math. I would find out later he would just take out credit cards and max them out. In addition to him doing them with me occasionally, he was also doing them behind my back, which I had caught him doing several times and was always forgiving over this.
So, because of this constant spending he was in a substantial amount of debt. What he told me at the time was around $6,000. Knowing him, this was probably a generous assessment. This is definitely a point in the story where I should have left him. Clearly he was developing this addiction towards N and spent an ungodly amount of money that was beyond even my comprehension. But, I was head over heels and believed that he could figure this out. People go into debt all the time, I would tell myself. But I told him, this all needed to outright stop. No more N, not even occasionally. Unfortunately while he of course agreed to my face I have to suspect now, he was doing it behind my back all the time. Around this time he wouldn’t come home from work until 7 or 7:30 which didn’t make sense as his hours at work would fluctuate from time to time, but he was usually always off at 5. He would lie and say his work was very busy and made him stay later, which I believed at the time.
Maybe about a month later we are in bed together sleeping, it’s the middle of the night. He wakes me up and explains he literally cannot feel his feet or legs and has been having trouble walking for the past several days. I take him to the ER that night. This night and the following weeks after were some of the most heartbreaking and emotionally terrifying times of my life so far. At this time neither of us had any idea or reason to suspect N was the reason for this. We actually talked to the doctor there and ran tests for over 3 hours, he got an MRI and a spinal tap which was so hard to watch being done to him. It wasn’t until I desperately did research on my phone in the hospital room and suddenly see all of these remarks and reddit posts and studies about N causing paralysis and nerve damage. I tell my bf and the doctor and they have no trouble assessing that is what is causing this. They give him a regiment of vitamin B shots as you typically do in this situation. The doctor even said that they hope they can stop permanent damage from happening, because if not he may lose control of his legs and it may spread to his pelvic area (IE dick don’t work) etc, he had to do physical therapy and see a drug counselor.
The following days and weeks after I was constantly on edge worrying and wondering if my bf and love of my life would lose his ability to walk. Thankfully, the treatment took and he didn’t even end up needing physical therapy. This is when I truly believe or would like to hope he actually quit and wasn’t doing N behind my back. Unfortunately it wouldn’t matter, as I’ve learned, a lot of symptoms of N abuse don’t show themselves until after you stop. Shortly after this event is when our relationship took a nosedive. He had also ditched the drug counselor. To compensate for no N he was drinking so often. He started to become aggressive and violent. I remember it all started in a fight where he got real close and in my face and stared me down to try and intimidate me. In a way it was both terrifying and laughable (because he’s only a few inches taller than me), I couldn’t even comprehend the kind of person he had turned into. After that came the months and months of never ending name calling, insults, degradation, and constant arguments over every little thing I did. He became so addicted to the high of his power trip of making me feel small and weak he would find any excuse to fly into a rage at me, even when we were tripping on mushrooms together.
Nothing was ever the same after that. We didn’t go out, didn’t do dates, and every activity together felt like it was all a big chore to him. I could look in his eyes and see he was constantly thinking about N, and when he would do it next. He really changed, and what I am now realizing is he was probably starting to experience the effects of pure brain damage. My close friends who knew him even agree with me that there is a huge change in his demeanor around this time in April of 2023.
I also want to add more info about his bizarre behavior. He started to develop an unhealthy obsession with social media, scrutinizing what I posted and what he posted. He started to obsess over current events of any kind, any breaking story or ongoing conflict and he would rant and rant about the current state of the world and destruction of humanity all the time. He started to get obsessed with mental health and psychology and pathologize me and himself and other people in our lives. He would send me 10 videos everyday about mental health and relationships and expect me to reply and have a response for every single one like a book report. This obsession with the destruction of humanity turned into a paranoia about the world, he would often say no one understands him, and he is all alone. He turned on his best friends of several years because he was paranoid they were racists or had bad morals (they were all pleasant and nice people who enjoy edgy humor from time to time). There was no more middle ground for anything, you either loved something fully, or hated it fully. Somewhere down the line he actually got his account banned on Instagram for the craziest reason. He couldn’t stop or control himself from having heated arguments with random strangers in comments sections, of almost any video of any topic. He would insult people there constantly.
Here is another big mistake I made.I allowed him to live with me, and we moved in together. At this point we had been dating for a year. Before this I lived on my own and didn’t want to renew my lease, and he was living with his dad who was abusive and financially took advantage of him. At the time I was convinced that this bad behavior would go away if he could get away from his dad and his toxic household. Well the toxicity only followed. That summer we went to another weekend festival and he revealed to me when we got there he had purchased N and brought it. I was so conflicted as I myself had missed it quite a lot, and I had to deny myself my healthy regulated usage of it in order to not trigger him. I caved again and said we could do it only for this weekend. You may not at all be surprised to learn it didn’t end that way.
After the festival everything truly fell apart. He continued to buy tanks of N and do them behind my back constantly. He would say he was just going to his car to talk to his friends, or his mom, and be gone for hours. Because he was totally abusing me and I had no idea because I was under his spell of manipulation, I had no recourse. Any comment of mine asking why he was gone for so long, why can’t he just talk to his friends inside our apartment, I’ll go in the other room for privacy, was only met with complete indifference. These questions only pissed him off. He would say it’s because I was so exhausting and demanding he needed a break from me. When I would call him when he’s on one of these “excursions,” he would every so often mute the call while I was talking or in a silent moment. I eventually realized he was hitting the tank every time he muted himself. When I finally called him out on this he gaslit me and told me he just does this all the time because he coughs and clears his throat, fyi he had never done this before in our relationship. Because I had no recourse I just had to agree and move on. And because his mind was deteriorating more and more each day he would go on to make randomly muting himself in calls as a common, thing so as to keep up the facade he told me. Actual crazy behavior.
He even started doing K again, he would clearly be f-ed out of his mind by both K and N, and stumble around our apartment with crazy red bulging eyes and again and again tell me he was just drunk. Around this time is when he finally divulges to me not only had he been abusing K for the 1.5 years before he met me, he had also been abusing N for 1.5 years before he met me. And it wasn’t actually the case that he only “began” to become addicted to N when we started dating and doing it together. This really started to put a lot into perspective for me, and it made sense how he had almost paralyzed himself over this, now at this current time 3+ year addiction to these substances, and it made me realize how psychologically and cognitively he was failing based on changes in his personality. You also have to understand he explained to me before he met me, he was doing 1.5-2 grams of K or more and N, EVERYDAY.
And still at this time the name calling, insults and manipulation continued. He of course was no longer experiencing any true “high” from the N anymore, it would just simply dull his senses. It was like a stereotypical violent alcoholic husband comes home from the bar and berates his wife, kind of situation, except with N. And I became obsessed with figuring out how to get him to stop and go back to the loving person I remembered meeting and loving. I began to do very toxic things, going through his backpack, going through his car, and constantly always finding tanks and balloons and all kinds of paraphilia everywhere. I would find tanks in our recycling bin, like he actually thought I wouldn’t notice. I would come home late from being with friends and catch him passed out on the couch with an empty tank in his hand. He couldn't be left alone anymore. If he wasn’t with me, 100% of the time he was sitting in his car doing N. At this point in time there was no forgiveness, I was completely broken. I would yell and scream at him or wake him up and demand he stop and choose me or the drugs, all terrible things to be doing. I know that.
Eventually it got so bad I felt I had no other recourse other than to call and inform his mother of his behavior and what he had been doing all this time. Me doing this is probably what saved his life, as there was never anyway I was going to get through to him myself. But it did not save his mental health. Even having his mother involved didn’t stop any of it. He still went out and bought it behind my back like nothing happened. Another painful painful aspect of how his personality had changed is he would constantly have crazy back and forth mood swings, one minute showing me the sweet man I had fallen in love with, thanking me and praising me for having stepped in and put a stop to this, the next minute he hated me and I was the worst thing in his life and I could never tell what was even real anymore.
But did I leave, oh no, that would have been the smart thing to do.Instead at the time I was seeing a therapist who also specializes in couples therapy. I get us started with counseling and during our second session he gets called out by my therapist and yells and screams and berates her, it was actually insane. That is when things really ended between us. He moved out and moved into his moms apartment 30 minutes away that night. Even though the breakup was traumatizing and painful I still had hope that even if he isn’t with me, now he will receive help from his mother. Well, she didn’t place him in any special drug counselor program or rehab, she just severely cut off his finances so that he could pay off his debts, which she had bought back from several banks so it would not gain more and more interest. I do believe now his debt may be somewhere in the $10,000-$20,000 range. So now he, as an almost 30 year old man, needs to ask his mother in order to buy or purchase anything. Somehow, despite all of this I would learn he was continuing to do N and K.
Amazingly, we still tried briefly to even make our relationship work after he moved out. At this point he has mastered the art of manipulation and being fake, and convinced me he was getting better, he had even started to look better too, but he was still up to his old BS. He came over to the apartment once for us to have a mini date. Because he went on and on about how he was getting more and more into walks he said he was going to take a quick stroll around the block to get some fresh air. Well a quick stroll turns into 30 minutes, and I start to notice his car is gone from our street. I call him and he says now he is sitting in his car talking to his mom, I tell him I don’t see his car and it’s been a long time, he clearly had left to buy N. He becomes irate and claims he simply moved his car down the block for “reasons” and I was in the wrong for being accusatory and not trusting him. P.S. I went down the block and he just was not there. This guy is either absolutely crazy or thinks I’m some kind of imbecile, or both. It basically ended from there.
We tried to be civil, but he cannot control himself from completely going ballistic on me anymore, or his mother. And it is so painful when he is remorseful and doesn’t remember all the things he said to me. At this point I have had to realize I am basically talking to and trying to reason with a mentally disabled person. The fun loving, easy going, creative, altruistic, thoughtful, smart and attentive man I met doesn’t exist anymore, and I don’t think he will ever come back. All that remains is the shell of a confused and angry person.
Some small things to address, how it came to be that he abused these drugs all the time before he met me is because his best friend was a drug dealer and in the beginning would give him all of these things for free. Once he was hooked and doing it everyday it seemed he would stop at no end to spend money and buy them. Yes K was definitely a contributor into his mild psychosis but I still think it would have happened even from the N abuse alone, based on research I’ve been doing lately. And yes I have to admit I think he had bad and malignant psychological traits before abusing drugs, and doing that made it all worse.
So that is the story of how I watched this man ruin his life, and scare away maybe the only person who could withstand experiencing all of his BS and still wanted to love and help him. There are SO MANY things I too should have done differently. There is also an age gap between us of 3 years, so I naively thought he had a better handle on his life than he really did. I do find it hard to understand how people can be so addicted at times, but in the end like my ex, everyone is trying to chase some kind of feeling or experience that came with it, rather than the drug itself.
Thank you for reading if you made it to the end.
TLDR: Two years ago I started dating a guy who wasn’t honest with me about his 1.5 years of Nitrous abuse before we started dating. He was a sweet and honest and caring man when I met him. Sadly most of our relationship was spent on doing lots of Nitrous together. He eventually developed health problems like a vitamin B deficiency and even almost got paralysis and permanent nerve damage, which was hard for me to watch and witness. His health issues didn’t deter him away from Nitrous and he was constantly buying tanks and doing it behind my back. The more he abused Nitrous the more abusive towards me he became as a person. Our relationship crumbled and not even getting his mom involved helped. He was also clearly experiencing psychosis and mental deterioration. We broke up because he yelled and screamed at my therapist and he had to move in with his mom. Moving in with his mom didn’t stop his addiction even though she cut off his finances.
Even when we tried to make the relationship work he still abused it anyway. I would now consider him a mentally disabled person and I don’t recognize who he even is anymore after 3+ years of abusing Nitrous almost everyday. Please use Nitrous responsibly or don't at all.

Around October last year I suddenly started getting intermittent high ping and packet loss (10-30%) on wifi and ethernet which became very noticeable during work calls and gaming. I used both sky and BT over my the last months I lived in that rural 70mbps max area but swapping didn’t seem to effect anything. I initially believed it was caused by a connection point and cables which I replaced several times to no avail. I contacted my internet provider and had several engineers sent out but they couldn’t find anything wrong with the physical connection and just kept dismissing the case aside from the occasional router change. (Including some of my own which I just bought online) I didn’t really believe them at the time because the same issues were present on multiple devices in the house and trace routes seemed to indicate there were issues at the neighbourhood box so I just brushed it off until I moved. (My new place has 1gbps on both wifi and LAN) However as soon as I moved to my new place my PC started having booting issues where it wouldn’t load into windows and would remain awake but on a blank screen until I did a boot override using my ssd from BIOS. However, stranger still is that my connection was working perfectly on all fronts for about 5 days with no issues whatsoever before it suddenly started experiencing all the same problems again. (I’m currently using Tp link router with virgin wifi gigabit internet) Every other device I’ve tested, including my phone, exhibits none of the same issues as my pc.
My Ethernet is controlled through the motherboard by a Realtek PCIe GbE family controller and my wifi by a 802.11n wireless LAN card, with neither showing any problems I’m able to see. I’ve tried updating and reinstalling every driver in my pc, tried checking for corrupt files, updated to the latest BIOS on a gigabyte B550 gaming x V2 motherboard, checked and redone every connection on the board (GeForce RTX 3060, wifi card, ddr4 16gb ram, AMD Ryzen 5 5600x, 1TB ssd + 500gb hdd etc), looked through device manager and event viewer for anything obvious, made an entirely new profile to see if the connection changed, used a USB to Ethernet adapter to check every USB port I could on the motherboard, (same issues across all) reset the network and the firewall several times and constantly run ping plotter and trace routes. The packet loss on wired connections has gotten significantly worse to where it averages around 60-90% with low ping, however the wifi seems to have much less packet loss but very high ping even though I’m setup directly next to my router. My only guess at this point is that some chip on the motherboard is fried but I’m at a complete loss as nothing has worked and it only seems to be getting worse. I’m not sure what to do from this point aside from take everything out and replace it so any advice or help is appreciated.

Posting to help myself process the climb and provide thoughts for others thinking about Denali unguided on minimal experience. Open to thoughts and critique from people who know what they're doing. I'm obliged to thank all those who provided their thoughts and guidance to me on this subreddit a year ago. Also, to the guidance from Steve House and the other guy in their YouTube Denali video.
TLDR: Did not summit, learned lots.
It was a great idea... We trained pretty hard in the flatlands... We bought lots of good gear... and some not so good..... We were optimistic.....And realistic, we thought....
But... man, oh man. Denali is BIG, Alaska is BIG. And Talkeetna felt very small after 24 hours.
First alert was assembling our food. We drop shipped almost all the food to our hotel in Anchorage. We got in about 9pm, got everything from the desk and walked over to Wal Mart for the rest. Started packing food into daily rations about 10pm. We thought that would take 30 minutes. Try close to four hours, confusion, second guessing ourselves and each other on quantities, days, recipes. Got to sleep much later than we thought. We both worried that we'd be tired, maybe too tired for when we were dropped off on the glacier the next afternoon. HAH!!
Met Gary the shuttle driver the next morning. Watch some other TRs on YouTube and you'll get to know Gary, friendly, outgoing with good info about Talkeetna. We arrive on time, go through check in and somehow we got bumped out of our Ranger meeting. Come back later and we'll still have time to get to our flight. Did I mention it's overcast with light rain? Go through the ranger meeting, head over to TAT to find that we're 76th and 77th on the waitlist with. "Come back tomorrow at 8am for an update." Two guys we met on the shuttle actually make the plane that day because they understood the process with TAT and were all set to go after the Ranger meeting. Guy at TAT checks us in and takes our $$. No other info is offered or asked for. We're aware we need sleds and wands but we guess they just go on the plane with us.
We find the TAT climbing hostel and are grateful to find two bunks in the same room. My buddy is, not germophobic, but he is right up to that line. We eat at a restaurant that night, figuring, hey, 7 climbers per flight, 11 flights, mid afternoon tomorrow right? We check in at TAT at 8am, they're making waffles and have actually great coffee. But they have no idea if there'll be any flights today. Wander back and forth from the hostel, through town to the airfield. This is day 2 of 16 days we've given ourselves to go up. At day 16, no matter where we are, we go down.
Day 3, repeat day 2 but now we're using the hostel kitchen. I'm cool with the level of hygiene because this is only a level or two beyond how I grew up, when things got chaotic. I'm impressed with my buddy's fortitude, and grateful because I don't want to pay for food when it's already been bought. We hear good news that afternoon about the weather. Buddy suggests we get an AirBnB for this night to get a good nights sleep and clean shower before we likely fly out the next day.
Day 4, the weather starts to clear and now there's real activity at the airfield. My buddy, who doesn't sit still well, joins a group of workers at the airfield digging a trench. I sit on the deck, breathing deeply and hoping we can get out today. Then we get word we're up soon. Then I ask, hey what about sleds and wands? Find out climbers should get this arranged right after check in and we scramble around getting this set up. I grab a sled without looking it over well. As we and our gear are being driven over, I see this sled has some serious cracks and swap for a better one 10 minutes before we fly out.
The flight up is amazing. The transition on the glacier is hectic, a short controversy about which mountain can belongs to who and we get off the landing strip quick. We find a spot to set our tent a fair ways up the hill and get to work melting water for dinner and the next day. Take my skis out in order to prep for tomorrow and find the front straps of my skins have torn and are irreparable. I walk around camp, find a guy who's leaving who sells me his skins for $50. Can't believe how lucky I am. I walk around and get pictures, bury, wand and gps tag our cache. I'm blown away, I'm alive in a way I've only experienced a few other times in my life. I'm excited to get going in the wee hours of day 5. Plenty of days left, right?
Get up and going on time. Feels so good to be hauling the sled, carrying the pack. Going down is helpful. Going on flat and climbing isn't bad. I am working harder than my buddy(MB) from here on. He's 20 years younger and places top 5 in regional ultras, I'm a caboose guy at these. Anyhow, I feel like I'm holding him up, like he's disappointed in our pace. We arrive at 8K camp 8 hours later. MB points out that successful groups do this in 6hrs. I'm reply I'm working at a pace that I believe gets me to 14K in good shape, and what else did you want to do today? Ends fine, we each accept where the other one's at. Set up camp, Denali Pizza (simple and awesome) for dinner. Melt water, pull out the gear, food we'll cache at about 9.5K tomorrow. Good day, amazing as clouds lift a bit and we see more terrain.
Day 6, realize we're not eating 2 bagels each per day. We've over planned with bagels and several other foods. Too much weight but unsure about how to move things around. Lighter packs, lighter sleds and the first real climb. We do good work, talk a bit to teams coming down, most not having summitted. Bury, wand and GPS tag our cache. Tie empty sleds to our packs and head down. When we get to the real down hill, it's trashy, flat light, and I'll own this: I was rattled being off balance with a bit more weight and bulk going down. Got in my head and took some time to descend. MB frustrated or just me in my head? Got back down, did camp work, napped, ate dinner.
Day 7, push up to 11K. Snow picking up and visibility still good. I'm slower than MB again, and even though this is a fact we're both well aware of since we talked about Denali 3 years ago, it's in my head and won't leave that I'm holding us back. We start up the first real climb into 11 camp. Wind blown snow is making wands hard to see, we're using his Garmin to verify the route. The skins I bought at the airfield don't cover the width of my skis at the tips and tails. As we're taking an aggressive elevation gain on switchbacks, I'm slipping more and more with less skin to snow contact. We crest the rise and hike through the camp to find a spot at the uphill end. We begin setting up camp. I mention looking forward to having a kitchen tent now that we'll be in the same place for 3 days. MB basically says, go ahead but I don't think we need that and I won't be part of digging it out or setting it up. I get started probing an area, setting the outline of the dig and then realize this will take me hours and give up. Dinner, melt water, discuss tomorrow's back hauling. I propose we boot down from 11 camp and put skis on at the base of the climb and MB seems okay with it.
Day 8, wake up to heavy snow. Dig out our enclosure and have breakfast. Put more food we didn't eat into the "carry forward bag" which is getting heavier by the meal. Dig out again, and again, and again. Mid-afternoon we start getting weather reports through garmin in-reach texts with a guy back home and from other teams and guides. Consensus in 6 more days of this but up to 48" per day. I run the math: 8+6=14. Hmmm: 16-14=2. Then I run the flights per day math and number of teams we've seen descending, number of teams likely to descend with this forecast. My math says we could be stuck here 6 days and at the airfield for that or more. All for 2 more possible days of ascent. MB disagrees and wants to wait it out. We walk through various scenarios and I hold firm. MB agrees we'll go down because we both agreed if one wanted to go down for any reason, that was that. MB is a guy who holds to his word in this and all aspects of life.
We pack up. Fast...and sloppy. We want to fly out tomorrow. I'm not excited anymore, I'm anxious and want off Denali. Not be in a tent for two weeks in snow. We boot down the hill below 11 camp, put on skis and find our cache at 9.5, combine stuff. I get my stuff packed well. We start down. The track is blown in and we are navigating entirely by Garmin, using the standard route. Not reversing our climb up, which followed the visible track and wands. Are we actually on safe snow? We're both thinking that question but not saying it out loud. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I'm in front setting the track so MB's sled has something to ride in. If he's in front, his sled tips over. He's calling directions to me for the route, "Left...more left...rightish... too far."
We head down the last hill into 8 camp. I allow my sled to be in front of me and steer it like reins on a horse. Snow plow, keep it slow and things are moving along fine for me. MB wipes out over and over. Repacks his sled and gets down the last 200 yards well. We ski right through 8 camp. Someone asks if we're headed down and then says that if we call in to the airfield from there, we're already in line. True or not, we're finishing this in one push. Visibility is still about 15 feet but now we have a track to follow. We're both cautious with the downs. Don't know if we need to let it rip to go up again or if there's a corner we need to be slow for. We get to the airfield in 9.5 hours. Dig up our cache and consolidate our gear.
MB decides he'd rather not cowboy camp with the fly and we set up the tent and go to sleep. Up at the appointed hour and get in the flight queue. The guy says he'll give us plenty of notice so we can take down our tent, IF we fly out today. I am now watching every cloud for signs of building or diminishing. A few planes fly in, circle and leave. We're napping on and off.
Then I hear the guy yelling, "that's your plane". It's being loaded. We're 200 yards away in our fully set up tent, pads and bags. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK. I go down and ask "what happened?" "I don't know, two guys snaked your flight." Talk a bit more about other stuff, what he's been reading, we're into some similar literature. He then guarantees we'll be on the next flight that comes in, whether today or tomorrow. I'm listening for airplanes full on now, just want to get down and be off the mountain.
We do get on a flight that day, get a hotel and move flights and shuttle to fly out of Anchorage tomorrow. I walk down by the river and call my wife. "Honey, this will sound weird, I need you to tell me I'm really off the mountain and not dreaming." This helps a lot.
We make all our connections and fly out, get back home the next day. If you got this far, thanks, I guess. It's cathartic to write all this down. I replay this trip or parts of it every couple weeks even now. MB and I did our repair work and still call, text, hang out, run together when I'm in town. I do not regret going one bit, yet not getting further up still hits me hard. My fears and reaction to niggling discomforts on the mountain tell me I'm weak.
If I did it again:

1. No skis on Denali for me. I'm a competent skier and can get down serious stuff out west without embarrassing myself. A pack and a sled skiing down through crud with low visibility? Snow shoes all...the...way.
   
2. 4 people, not two. Enough guys to set up a kitchen tent, split camp duties into smaller tasks. I need a place to spread out, talk, cook and eat in a comfortable position.
   

2A. Allow way more time, a month total.

1. Better conversations about pace and relative speed well before the trip.
   
2. We did ropes work, simulated crevasse rescue, camped out in -10F. More time winter camping and skinning in the woods together.
   
3. MB and I climbed Mt Adams. We summitted Rainier together unguided in 8/2022. Took a 3 day custom guided mountaineering class in 12/2021 to learn skills. Didn't go above 7K in the class. Handled our shit well for two days. Not enough time to really know what we're in for physically and work through team frictions about pace, leisure time, camp life. Maybe we could have climbed Rainier and Baker on the same trip? Maybe spend several days at Camp Muir and summit twice? Climb Rainier early season?
   
4. Guided if I try again? Maybe.
   

I read this back and the inner critic says, "I'm a whiny bitch", just like when I am thinking about it every couple weeks. If I go back it can't be about that, not trying to prove that voice wrong. If I go back...it'll be because of that alive feeling I got on the airfield glacier, to have it again, to avail myself of a second chance to live a dream.
Thanks for reading all this. Part confessional, part TR.
I feel better.

I want to quit my job right now but I'm thinking about sticking it out for the rest of 2024 so I can job search and save money/pay off debt. I'm also trying to think ahead of how to use my PTO.
At the beginning of every year, we get 15 days of PTO. Also, our office closes for winter break starting Dec 23, 2024 and then we return on January 6, 2025.
I was thinking about using my PTO in January (Jan 6–24), wait a week, and then put in my two weeks or one month notice (haven't decided yet).
We're required to give 30 days notice if we're going to use 4+ days of PTO all at once. So I would need to give them notice on Dec 6, 2024 at the latest.
I'm just worried that if I request those three weeks of PTO, they're going to reject the request and press me on what's going on. Maybe even fire me before winter break even starts.
Any thoughts? My coworker requested 2 weeks last year at the beginning of Jan and she was fine. But I don't know, 3 weeks might seem suspicious.
By the way, I work at an extremely small company. 6 people including me.

About me: M, 5’7”, 135 lb, heel-to-midfoot strike depending on pace. I’m a slow middle-aged runner doing 30-35 mpw. My typical pace ranges from low 8-minute to 9:30 per mile, depending on how I feel that day. I don’t pay attention to HR zones. I run mostly for physical and mental health benefits, and very rarely race or train for races, so this may be completely irrelevant to you! But I need a place to deposit my thoughts as much as anyone else, so thanks for bearing with me.
The Contenders
Adidas Adizero Boston 12, aka the Timothy Chalamet of Running Shoes—A comely twink with a stupendous range of abilities, rabid fan base, and a tiny, tiny waist.
Saucony Endorphin Speed 4, aka the Matt Damon of Running Shoes—Goes from everyman to action here and back, all day long. Worth every bit of his fee.
I lucked into a half-off deal for the Boston 12s and have over 160 miles on my pair. I really love the way these shoes bounce and roll. The balance of softness, firmness, and response from the foam is as magical as many have already said. But I have a high-volume midfoot, which is exactly the spot where the Boston 12 gets super narrow. I switched to Lock Laces and keep them on the looser side, but even at this mileage, I’m still in not-trivial pain for the first 1-2 miles before I can actually settle in and run without thinking “ow, my feet.”
I’ve taken the Endorphin Speed 4s on two runs now, total of 17 miles, and it feels like there is a whole galaxy’s worth of additional space in the midfoot. Toebox is a little cramped, but it still felt fine throughout an 11-mile run. The rocker initially felt a bit further forward / “later” than the Boston 12’s, and the heel is also bulkier and less beveled, so it doesn’t have the quite the same ultra-smooth roll. But that difference is fairly subtle, and I look forward to seeing how the ride evolves as I put more miles on them (it seems like a “break-in period” is de rigueur for a lot of the newest foams). PowerrunPB is plenty bouncy, cushioned, and fairly firm, but not as firm as the Boston’s Lightstrike combo out-of-the-box. It’s also noticeably lighter than the Boston. My only gripe, and a minor one at that, is that I wish the heel weren’t as wide/flared. I get that people like stability in their super trainers, but it’s borderline clunky and makes me miss the Speed 2.
Verdict: I’ve given the Boston 12 all I could, and I still think it’s a glorious shoe for running far or fast, or both. But I just can’t live with the pinch. My feet deserve better than this abusive relationship. Time will tell if this new partner has the flexibility to accommodate me and my individualities. ;)

I wasn't sure how to title this query, so I'm hoping that even if it's confusing that will grab some attention.
I have £6500 in debt. £1500 is my overdraft and the following £5000 is my credit card. They are both 0% interest until August 2024 and Feb 2025 respectively.
I've recently learned that I will be receiving £6500 as a lump sum from PIP backpayment. I'm disabled, it was wrongly stopped Dec 2022, went to tribunal last week and they ruled in my favour. (NB not having PIP is what built 80-90% of my debt. Now that I will have it back there's little to no concern about re-accruing debt to this level).
Because this small (but significant) 'windfall' was unexpected, I had been budgeting and planning how to pay off both debts, not confident I would make it before interest started. I live paycheck to paycheck as I currently have no emergency fund (hence the overdraft and credit card).
Here was my current thoughts:

• Rather than immediately use the £6500 to clear the debts, act like it doesn't exist, continue my budgeting and payment plans. This will prevent me from getting comfortable and inevitably accruing more debt; I know myself enough to know the risk of having a 0 balance would make me likely to start utilising that credit again during the 0% periods and convincing myself 'it's fine, I'll be able to pay it off in time'.
  
• Have some of the cash easily accessible and the other invested: As my OD needs to be gone by Nov, I wanted to keep £1500 in an easily accessible account. That way when deadline day rolls around (or just before) and if I haven't cleared my OD I'll have the full amount ready to go, even if I don't need it.
  
• As my CC deadline is later I thought about investing it in my S&S ISA which has historical performed quite well (68.74% time weighted returns) in the hopes of growing it even a little over the 8 months. See what progress I make paying off the debt, and again if the deadline roles around I'll have the money to cover it. I know the 'cons' having used this method before- that my money won't be immediately accessible, comparatively arduous having to sell investments individually to have the cash available to transfer, and of course that it runs the risk of dropping in value and not being as much as what.
  

I've had a look at the flowchart and it says to focus on building an emergency fund first before tackling debt, but I really want to have these gone before they start accruing interest. Should I stick to this plan or factor in some emergency fund budgeting? I'm picturing my debts being significantly lower by the time I have to utilise the savings/investments, so whatever is left over can be for emergencies
Noteworthy info: - My accounts: Easy Access Pot (4.53% APR) with Monzo, 32 Day notice account (4.66% APR) with Investec, S&S ISA with Moneybox (current value £995) as well as my Halifax current account & Moneybox Lifetime ISA (£560) - Open to new accounts, have been looking around and Santander have a 5% APR savings account which I'm considering. - Trying to simplify things as much as possible. I know I could be shopping about for best interest rates and moving money around but I just want to 'set and forget' this money until I need to utilise it, and crack on with working. I'd prefer not to deal with accounts that have minimum amount requirements and withdrawal limits etc. -I'm not a big earner per say and right now I'm looking for a new job to maximise income but got limitations being disabled but also a carer for my parents (the irony isn't lost on me). -Now that my PIP has been reinstated I won't be building more debt. Arguably I could be better off month to month because it helps pay for my treatments, which make me better able to work, be productive etc. I think due to inflation I'll be getting a few quid more week/month than I did before it was stopped. I might squirrel that extra £10-20 away each time because I didn't have it before so again pretending like I don't have it now will help me stick to my budgeting.
My two biggest goals this year are getting out of debt and tackling my health issues. This opportunity can genuinely change the trajectory of my future with a compounding effective on my finances. I'm new to my personal finance journey and a fair few years behind my peers: almost 30 and nowhere near ready to buy a house, start a family, go traveling etc but I want to make the best of this and turn my prospects around.
Any information/advice/moral support from the community and those better versed in personal finance than me would be much appreciated. Thank you.
TLDR: Do I pay off debt immediately, or try to grow this money until I need it? Should I factor in an emergency fund or focus on debt repayment?

Male here with oil/dry combo skin.
Started oil cleansing about a week ago and my oily skin is down about 95% which is amazing.
However, I am noticing some flaky skin after taking it off with luke warm water.
The cleanser is the HaruHaru oil cleanser and its ingredients are heres:
Oryza Sativa (Rice) Bran Oil, Caprylic/​Capric Triglyceride, Helianthus Annuus (Sunflower) Seed Oil, Olea Europaea (Olive) Fruit Oil, Sorbeth-30 Tetraoleate, Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Seed Oil, Macadamia Integrifolia Seed Oil, Tocopherol, Ethylhexylglycerin
Heres how I tried to use this so far is as follows:

• Tried using on multiple days on dry skin, rub for abit, then added some luke warm warm to emulsify it and rub again, taken off with luke warm water.
  
  • Tried using on dry skin, rub for abit, then taken off with just luke warm water.
• Tried using on dry skin, rub, taken off with luke warm water then used normal cleanser after. This way was the one that felt the most drying/flakey skin left behind.
  

Have read the olive oil can be abit drying but it seems to be in the middle list there, so sure how much of that would be in effect.
Since using the oil only as a cleanser though I have noticed great improvement of how supple, soft and plump the skin is along with not being oil which is great.
Anyways, if you have any advice on how to improve this situation I’d appreciate it.
Also, Ive tried countless moisturizers over the years and have not found one that doesn’t leave the skin shiny or oil later in the day.
Was hopeful by cleansing was only oil would do the trick.

Half past seven on a Thursday evening. Almost through to the weekend. Not quite yet, though.
Time for a cheap dinner and a true crime YouTube video on the TV. Volume up loud. Feet up.
"This video is brought to you by---"
Skip 30 seconds.
The horrifying case of [REDACTED]. Oh, that's funny. He shares my name.
The narrator explains the intricacies of the case. The background of the victim. The lack of public knowledge about what happened. The unknown identity of the perpetrator. The terrible fate of their victim. Left for dead and never to speak again. It was fascinating and my theorising brain gets to work as it always did. Trying to explain the unexplained. To unmask a suspect only described in the most nebulous of ways.
Still, though, it tries.
How could an unassuming young man be the victim of such an evil-spirited crime and there be no leads?
I would soon find out.
TV off. Brain still whizzing with ideas. Time to turn that off, too. Friday is a big day at work, rest is important. Sleep eventually comes.
A knock awakens me. The red lights of the alarm clock on the nightstand read 4 AM.
Who the fuck is knocking at 4 AM?
I open the door. Nobody. Not a soul. A little pink coloured note lies on the bristled doormat.
"Welcome to the show.
Kisses."
I figure it was a dream. Or a nightmare. Slapping myself ought to wake me up.
Slap.
Slap.
Slap.
No luck. Now I'm confused and have red cheeks. The note is the same as the one described in the video from last night. The note that started it all. Was somebody playing a stupid prank on me? How would they even know what I had been watching last night?
Head is spinning now. Sleep won't come and the note mocks me from the pillow beside mine. The first sunlight of the day peeking through my blinds jars me. I notice another note slipped under the door. Part of me knows what it'll read. Another part tries to forget.
"Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock."
Heart sinks. The note is less pink and more red this time. I place it on top of the older one. They both sit.
Awaiting the next.
Work could wait. That thing today isn't important anymore. They'll understand when I show them the video.
The video.
I try to find it again. Type, search, scroll. Over and over. It hides from me. Out of sight, never out of mind. The name of the channel is beyond me too. I search outside of YouTube. My name, my town, my apartment building. Again, nothing. My existence remains as unremarkable as ever. But I know it shouldn't be.
Maybe the video was a warning?
I pace around the bedroom. Theorising. Planning a way out. The next note would be hand-delivered.
Maybe the video was a taunt?
Barricading the door could work. Good idea. The couch works perfectly. I push it along the linoleum floor and it sits just right underneath the handle. I'm safe. They can't get in.
The video had to be a taunt.
That's why I could never find it again.
They were playing with their food.
The clock ticks along. Tick. Tock. They'll be arriving soon. Sundown, supposedly.
The last ray of sunlight fizzles out.
Knock.
Knock.
Knock.
Polite. Timely. No words. No response from me, either. I stand frozen. Hoping for some otherworldly intervention. It doesn't come.
Knock.
Knock.
Knock.
It grows louder. Then louder. Then louder.
The door handle rattles. The frame heaves. Over and over. It'll give way soon.
It does.
A tall man in a hood and glasses. Shadowy. Anonymous. A blood-red note clutched in his hands. He places it on the floor. Slides it across to me.
"I thank you for your viewership oh-so-kindly.
Kisses."
He lumbers over to me. Cleaver in hand. A blank portrait of a man. Time slows to a crawl. I try to run. To throw the nearest objects at him. No luck. He lumbers still. Slowly. Deliberate.
Tongue was the first to go. Tongue went agonisingly. Unhurriedly. Blood spewed all over. Screams lowered in volume until the tongue was all gone. Then nothing. Not for want of trying. Fingers went next. One by one until ten.
Consciousness went at the same time.
A ray of sunlight jolted me awake once again. Morning. Saturday. I lay in a drying pool of viscous crimson-red blood. Screams are still stifled. I shuffle towards the nightstand to grab the phone. I need help. The notes still lay there. Perfectly preserved. The most important one atop the others.
"911 what is your emergency?"
No words.
"If you can't talk right now, please use the keypad to answer my questions."
"Are you hurt? Please press 1 on your keypad for yes and press 2 for no."
Instinctual pressing leads to blood on the keypad from stubby "fingers". I use my knuckles instead.
"1".
"Do you need immediate assistance? Again, press 1 on your keypad for yes and press 2 for no."
It hurts. I switch knuckles.
"1".
"Thank you, we will send a unit as soon as possible. Please stay on the line."
Pain sears through my body. My now incomplete body. I wait.
Knock.
Knock.
Knock.
Instinct screams at me. A mundane sound now takes on an intensely sinister energy.
I freeze, again.
This time, the right people break in.
I pass out, again.
A hospital room greets me the next time I awake. He did more damage than I thought. 13 weeks in a coma. Learning to walk again. To talk. To be something resembling normal.
Every day I find myself looking for that video.
Every day it remains out of sight.

As the world faded away into nothing but a dark void, Tom felt the only mildly familiar sensation of magic flowing like a gentle stream. It wasn’t much of a draw, but it was certainly noticeable.
“Right, best make this quick then,” he tried thinking to himself, feeling the flow peak as he did.
“Who is this? Make what quick?” an ethereal sounding female voice replied. It did sound a bit like how he remembered Joelina sounding. Though she did not exactly sound calm.
“Uhm… Hello? Anyone there?”
“Yes hello. Who is this? What must be done quick? Answer me at once!”
“It’s Tom… Is that you, Joelina?”
“Yes of course it is! Stupid dragons taking ages, I have questions for you! So many questiiioooonssss...”
“Yeah I figured that… Fire away I suppose.” Tom replied a little uncertainly as to just what he might be in for.
“Firstly! Did you read the letters?”
“I did yeah…”
“Disregard them, I have learned much since they were written! So much more yes, cursed blessed knowledge…”
“So you do know we have gone to space then?”
“What? No, I re-experienced the memory you had of the movie about the moon mission. It was evident on the second watching that it was trickery of the eye! Spaceflight is but a myth!”
“Riiight.”
“Then how have your kind visited space? And what of the gods above!? it was evident that the woman with the crystals was but a fraud!” Joelina explained with all the calm and restraint of a shoppingmall Karen
“Well the rockets to the moon, that did happen.” Tom attempted, doing his best to remain calm and diplomatic. “The movie you saw was probably a recreation… Tell me, did things go wrong on that trip but they made it home anyway?”
“Yes, do you know of what I speak? Ahr what am I proclaiming! of course you do it is your own memories, how could I forget.”
“Yea…, you watched a movie about Apollo 13 I think. Good movie, and that all happened too. Like for real happened”
“I see…” Joelina replied, sounding rather unstable. “And what of the gods?”
“We ain’t got any. Well not in space at least.”
“Impossible!”
“No, quite possible. Many still believe in gods though, but let’s not get into that too much. It’s a right old mess.”
“No, you must tell me what happened to the gods? Have they left you?”
“Well some think so, but no. I just think it all works a bit different for us. They might be a little more hands off.”
“But the churches… and these religious warriors you did battle with,” the inquisitor all but muttered to herself, sounding like she was struggling to put pieces together. “Do Jesus and Islam fight for power then? no no, they would have long since lost the battles to the ancient gods of war the teachers spoke of… though why they were always naked eludes me yeeees…”
“No, again we don’t really have gods just floating around... Could we please talk about something else? Or is that all you wanted to know?” Tom tried, hoping he really didn’t have to dive deeper into that particular subject.
“No no don’t you dare cut me off! I have seen what you talked of, nuclear fire and missiles, ships of the oceans and planes soaring in the skies. But is it not all fake? Surely it must be! It must be? It must be…”
“I don’t know what you saw… but we have ships sailing around. If you’ve ever seen flying ships like you have here then that’s fake I can assure you of that. We do have airships, but they look more like really big long balloons.”
“But we could make such vessels, or someone could from times past. If you can visit the moon then surely you can make a ship for the skies!”
“No no, we ain’t got grav oil. Or dragon essence as I guess it’s called. That means no anti gravity, and that means weight is a very very big problem for anything you wanna make fly. Planes and helicopters are how we fly. Remember how I flew to Afghanistan on a big ass plane? Or when I learned to parachute later?”
“What is parachute? is it the ham from your times doing, vacationing? what has dried meat products got to do with flying machines of battle!”
“Wooo easy now easy. I guess you didn’t get that far yet. Uhm. It’s a cloth kite you dangle from and then glide to the ground. Very good fun.”
“A cloth kite used to fly?... such strange inventions. Wait was there not a movie of with something of that nature? yeeee… there was a song. I liked that song… something something brains upon his chute. Yeesss…”
“Yeah… You’ll know it when you see it. I have one actually.” Tom clarified trying not to get too weirded out.
“You must demonstrate on a suitable occasion.”
“Yeah… I do have a question too though,” Tom replied, letting silence reign for a short time. “...Your last letter was in Danish.”
“Oh, uhm yes. I- I was having some difficulty separating what was real and what was not… I still am. Do not tell Glazz, she musten know the truth yet. She seeks to limit my excursions.”
“You’ve ended up like I did, have you?”
“No no no, the effects do indeed recede as expected, everything is in good order… But I had to know more. So so much moooore.”
“Maybe you should cool it a bit. You never know when a brain snaps. Or how,” Tom tried, confident his advice would be ignored.
“There is not time!”
“And why is that? How is it going in our beloved Inquisition?”
“Mind your tongue, human! Things are progressing, but so are our enemies. Infiltrators have been caught, traitors within our ranks are making their moves. The reemergence of Rashan, attacks on mines, keeps and a daring heist attempt at a Royal Guard fortress! The game is afoot, we cannot delay.”
“You can’t overreach yourself either. Weren’t you supposed to be winning over the rest of the inquisition right about now? Can’t do that as a gibbering mess.”
There was silence for a while more after that. “Glazz sent you a letter? What did it say?! You may not keep secrets from me- wait not… I should confiscate her arm… she cannot write with her left. Yes far better plan, avoid upsetting him. And fill her pen with invisible ink. Yes very good.”
“No, it’s just obvious to any idiot. But what about winter, won’t things slow down?”
“They should, yet as autumn progresses it has only been picking up. I hope they too are running out of time… But time for what? I must know what they are planning. They might be behind schedule. But what SCHEDULE! sorry…”
“Well you’re not gonna find the answer to that in my memories, now are you?”
“You were sent by someone. You are here for a purpose. I must know this purpose. It will help me understand. The puzzle is large and much of the box kept from me.”
“As far as I’m concerned, I’m here to help you guys get in gear. That’s a decades to centuries long sorta problem, not a couple of years. Sounds like this war will be in the couple of years category.”
“Then why now? Why did you arrive now?!”
“Shitty luck? Sounds like 10 years ago would have been a lot better… Oh on that note, did you hear? We found something down below.”
“No, Paulin would have told me.”Joelina dismissed, he could almost feel her turning her snout up and away from him.
“Well we opened the vault like 3 days ago,” Tom replied, quite surprised Paulin hadn’t said anything. “Wait yeah she can send you messages, no? She sent the message about what we wanted to buy too, didn’t she?... How did she do that by the way? Why didn’t you just have her ask me questions?”
“That is not for you to know, and this is not for her.”
“Really? More secrets still? Come on, tell me or I’ll let you think flying whales exist.”
“I know those are not real. If they were, you would have harvested them long ago! likely for some deranged snack… or facial decoration.”
“True, but you get the idea,” Tom persisted, feeling like this was something worth pushing for. Why would Paulin not have let her precious Joelina know?
“Very well. This does not leave your mind… In the name of, what was it called… camaraderie. Paulin is in possession of joined paper. Messages may be written down and read by anyone with similarly joined paper. Unsecured. Originally believed to be fore love letters… dastardly studs and wenches using perfectly good magic for such trivialness… simply tie the message to a rock and throw it though the window. Most peasants cannot even afford glass” Joelina trailed off, seemingly zoning out once more.
“You have magical paper that can relay written information… and you don’t fucking use it!?” Tom explaimed, not quite believing what he was hearing.
“No, we do not know how to make freshly bonded paper… only more linked to all other paper in existence…” Joelina agreed. He could almost feel her looking at the floor in shame. “But it is not as if you are infallible, why did you not bring one of these radios?”
“I uhm…”
“Why didn’t you?!”
“I forgot,” Tom admitted, thinking back to his packing days. Of all the things that could have proven useful, that one might have been his biggest blunder.
“For the love of all that is holy! You are our saviour?!” Joelina scolded, understandably so, but still.
“Hey I never claimed to be smart!”
“I have lived your dreams. That is a lie! You very much claim to be smart!”
“Fuck off, I know you are just a scared little insecure girl.”
“She died 30 years ago!”
“Well I haven’t gotten to that bit yet!”
“What in the devils do you mean?” Joelina questioned calming right down in a fraction of a second.
“I’ve only had like three proper dreams about you… wait no, not like that,” Tom blurted out as it clicked just how wrong that sounded. Joelina didn’t seem to care in the slightest though.
“Three? That is it!?” going right back to outrage.
“Yeah… Wait, how many have you had?” Tom questioned. He rather wanted to know just how much she might know about him in addition to the memories she had already picked through when inside his head.
“Several a day!” the inquisitor exclaimed in reply.
“Okay, I can see how that would drive someone a bit mad.”
“I am not going mad!”
“Did Glazz say the same thing?” Tom questioned, quite certain he was striking a nerve.
There was no reply for quite some time, Tom feeling the headache growing as things grew tranquil once more. He could feel his breath. It was rapid, and his heart was pounding. He probably shouldn’t do this for much longer. Thus he endeavored to break the silence.
“You probably should listen to her you know.”
“No! These matters are above her station!”
“Hasn’t she been in the Inquisition longer than you?”
“She has yes. But she is no inquisitor. She is a body guard.”
“Seems like she is a wee bit more than that,” Tom pushed on. He didn’t yet know how those two came to stick together, but it was clear they had been working together for decades by now. All the way since she was assigned to Harvik
“Mind your own matters, human.”
“Very well, don’t think I can keep this up anyway.”
“We have barely been chatting! Where do the dogs come from?!”
“Selective breeding for thousands of years. But I’m gonna go. Take a break, do what Glazz says… even if Jacky hates her.”
Yet more silence followed that, though it was brief and Joelina was the first to speak again.
“Fine! In the interest of cooperation I shall let you rest. Wear the earring at all times, I shall be contacting you again soon.”
“I think I’m gonna be the judge of that. I’ll put it on when I feel like it.”
“You will do as I say!”
“You need a nap and a bit to calm down. I’ll give you three days. Around noon. See yah… How do I get this thing off?”
“I’m not telling you,” Joelina grumped like a little girl. She really didn’t seem quite like herself at all today. She had been the spitting image of restraint and arrogance before. The arrogance was still there, but the restraint had certainly gone.
“Come on, do I just try to cut off the magic or is that a bad idea?”
“If you answer a question I might answer.”
“Right then… Gimme gimme gimme aaaa-”
“JUST CUT IT! Farewell!” she called out loud enough Tom’s head pulsed and then there was blissful silence once more.
“Hehe. That did the trick, right concentrate on that funny feeling aaan-”
__________________________________________________________________________________
After dinner had been rounded up, Dakota had given a brief address as to some of the news received. There wasn’t much that hadn’t already made the rounds at the tables during the dinner itself. The war had been expanding, recruitment had started in full in the cities, and if not for the rather special situation at Bizmati they could have expected their banners to get called by spring.
Rumors had it that the kingdom was preparing itself for counterstrikes the following spring, which meant training through the winter for many volunteers.
“And a lot of not so volunteers,” Fengi muttered as Dakota carried on with the address.
“You can say that twice. At least the street rats might get something to eat and a place to sleep,” Tirox the trader escort added.
“I suppose that is true. Not a bad deal in winter time… I might even have taken it.”
“But we must instead keep our minds on our home,” Dakota carried on, talking to the whole hall. “There can be no mistake, we will be a target. We will be ready. They are getting bolder by the day it seems. It is not impossible they may attempt to take our keep before the winter comes. Or perhaps they will be waiting for spring. It is equally clear their forces are spread thin. We will weather such assaults, I have no doubt. But we must keep training. We must keep vigil. We cannot afford to be surprised or outmatched. I know you will all do your best. And tonight, we have no less than 4 dragons here. So breathe easy, have your snacks and your drinks. If the weather holds soon we will be finished with the warehouse and then we may make final preparations for winter. It is sure to be an interesting one for once.”
The hall replied with a half-discordant cheer, not overly enthusiastic unlike what Dakota had likely envisioned. The talk of them possibly getting attacked even before the snow came wasn’t really that encouraging. But Dakota tended to speak her mind, and she was probably right. Bizmati keep would be a damn tough nut to crack. And to Dakota’s credit she did seem to recognize she hadn’t really managed to rile them up.
“Didn’t you hear me?” she tried again in a slightly more humorous tone. “Eat, drink, and have fun! And put those tables together, don’t want you brooding in your corners.”
That did get a bit more of a reaction, as well as some good humored chuckles. People started getting up and set about moving the tables closer together.
It was a little rude to split up their guests in the same way as they normally did. Saph carried one of the benches over to the new spot, glancing around for any sign of Maiko, but there was no sign of him anywhere.
Feeling a little miffed, she sat down with the others as Ray came back with one of the small kegs of cider looking very excited. “We should have a taste, right?”
“Oh yes please!” Pho called out, Essy giving her a slight slap on the wrist.
“This one is only for those who paid for it. You will have to do with whatever you bought. Or the ale I’m sure they intend to serve.”
“Aww man. Not even a sip?”
“Okay, maybe a sip,” Essy relented. “Oh, I should get Koko his gift.”
“You got him a gift?” Saph questioned with mirth in her voice.
“Of course, that is what people do for each other… you did get Maiko something, right?”
Saph felt her expression slip a little as she prepared to disappoint their chief people person. “No, not really…”
“All that money and you didn’t get him shit? That’s cold girl,” Pho laughed, clearly finding it hilarious.
“Oh shut up, not as if I got something for Unkai either,” Fengi added, springing to Sapphire’s defence, though it seemed like the delivery had Fengi second guessing herself as well.
Esmeralda did look a little saddened by the news, but she was far too nice to say anything. Tirox however had no such filter.
“Oh don’t worry about it, just gotta go with a different sort of gift.” The diminutive guard laughed heartily at his joke. Udanti found it quite funny as well, and Pho certainly loved it. Bo just shook her head a little and went back to a small puzzle of some sort she had been working on, on and off, for most of the dinner by now.
“So uhm… One mug each?” Ray questioned, having been left hanging at the keg.
“Oh yes sorry, just the one, this stuff is expensive,” Saph replied, holding out her mug, Ray pushing it back down.
“One moment.” And she produced a wooden mallet and one of the metal taps. It looked like one of Raulf’s, so it was probably old as faded dragonscales.
Ray gingerly placed it against the cork and raised the mallet as the table fell silent in anticipation.
With a whack the tap went in clean with hardly a drop spilled, and Ray breathed a visible sigh of relief. “Right there we go.”
There was a quick round of cheers from the table, and Ray started pouring servings.
“Oh got yours open, have you?” the voice of Balethon came as the guard came walking up to the table, mug in hand and lizard on shoulder. “You all know we are gonna have to work out who got the better stuff, right?”
“Oh does it always have to be a competition with you, Balethon?” Saph questioned. She had just wanted to enjoy the cider.
“Look who is talking… And yeah of course we do! Just think of the bragging rights.”
Ray didn’t look too thrilled, nor did any of the girls who had actually paid for the keg. The rest of the table seemed to think it was a brilliant idea, even as Balethon’s voice carried and heads started to turn as people started to mingle between the now closely together tables.
“I’ll be the independent adjudicator!” Tirox declared, not receiving much attention as the full mugs started to get passed around. “Oh come on. I’ll be fair!”
“Shut it pipsqueak, you’ll end up taking 10 rounds of tastings before you make up your mind,” Udanti scolded, though in good humor.
“I might…” the guy relented, looking to Balethon. “Ey, by the way. Did you teach the brainlet any tricks?”
“Sure, Skitters can do a few things.”
“Aside from chasing the food?”
“You know what I think he might yeah,” Balethon replied sarcastically, gently tapping the static lizard twice on the head. The lizard didn’t do much save skitter about on his shoulder to face Balethon’s head, one eye pointing in whichever direction.
‘That thing just looks so dumb,’ Saph thought to herself as Ray handed her a mug. “Oh thank you.”
“Okay, Skitters. Up,” Balethon went, raising a claw into the air as if he wanted the lizard to jump. Or perhaps stand up. “Up… come on.”
There was no reaction from the lizard aside from it jerking to the left a bit, possibly having spotted a fly or something.
“Weeeell obedience might need some work,” Udanti chuckled. “Have you tried with some food in your hand?”
“Sure, then he just tries to eat the hand. Come on, Skitters. Up!” Balethon tried again, doing the gesture once more. And this time the little lizard jumped into the air. The little legs stretched out, taking its pitiful excuse for wings with it, and it half-fell half-glided to the floor where it hit with all the grace of a 6 year old on his first lesson. The slightly fat lizard bounced once, then rolled over twice before coming to a stop, looking around confused.
“Aaayyy! That’s a good boi,” Balethon went, going to pick it up again before someone stepped on it or it ran off under the tables. “And now you get a treat.” True to his word Skitters was fed a small piece of something or other which it seemed quite happy to snap up.
Fengi leaned in to whisper to Saph. “Was that the trick or did it just get sick of staying there?”
“I have no idea,” Saph replied, holding up her mug. “Cheers though.”
“Cheers,” Fengi replied as they clinked mugs.
“Oh hang on now, wait for me,” Essy protested as Ray finished pouring her mug and started on her own, looking to the girls as she questioned “Oh, also what about Jacky? Should we wait for her?”
“Who knows how long that will take?” Fengi replied, holding her mug impatiently.
“I’m sure she won’t mind. She is with Tom. We’ll let him have a mug as well,” Essy added with a reassuring nod, looking up to the high table. “Oh but we are missing Lin!”
“Oh right yeah she paid too… I can’t remember, did Edita chip in?”
“I don’t think so,” Sapphire replied, shaking her head as Essy got up to go fetch Linkosta. Balethon decided to take her place, a big grin on his face.
“So what else is going on over here?”
“Oh not much, hellooo little guy,” Pho went, trying to give skitters a scritching. In exchange he tried to eat her finger. “Oh… I mean I guess it doesn’t hurt.”
“Oh yeah, he can’t hurt a fly… well he can, but nothing more.”
“Shame he won’t get any bigger either,” Udanti added, nodding sagely. “Would have made a good rat hunter.”
“Nah… toe hunter though. Also where is the ale at?”
“Oh Raulf and Wiperna are getting ale and some of the bubble beer.”
“What is bubble beer?” Udanti questioned, tilting her head.
“Oh you’ll love it,” Saph interjected, waiting patiently as she saw Essy and Linkosta returning to the table out of the corner of her eye. “It’s an ale but it’s all fizzy.”
“Riiight… I’ve heard of fizzy beers before.”
“Oh yes, but this one is so much more fizzy.”
“It’s light and almost springlike.”
“Light ale? You mean for kids?”
“No no no. Just trust us it’s good.”
“Right right, I trust you,” the archer replied, looking to Essy and Linkosta, who seemed to be looking for a place to sit. “Should we not just put two end to end rather than this scrunching up business?”
“Yeah we should… Right get the craftsman table over here then. We don’t wanna have to smell the guards,” Saph called out, holding up her mug.
“Hey! That was uncalled for,” Balethon protested as Ray passed a mug to Linkosta. The girls all raised their mugs and had a sip, not willing to wait any longer. They all smacked their chops a little, looking down at the golden liquid. It was slightly fizzy too… and it tasted like the brew of the gods themselves. Ray was looking at them all visibly tense with anticipation and perhaps a twinge of fear.
“Ray… You have not disappointed,” Saph declared, nodding her approval, a smile creeping onto her face once more.
“Oh this is the best drink I think I’ve ever had,” Fengi added, taking another gentle sip.
Ray looked visibly relieved, her expression changing to one of ecstasy as she too took a sip herself. “Oh it’s even better than I remember. I’m glad you liked it.”
“Like it?! I love it!” Fengi cheers, Essy giving an appreciative nod to Ray before looking to Lin.
“Sooo?”
“It’s very good… Do you think we could try and cool it down a little? Imagine this cold.”
“It is often served cold, yes,” Ray confirmed, nodding her assent.
“I’ll go get the powder!” Saph called out, getting up. “I have got to try that.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
The strange ethereal world that had seemed so all-consuming started to quickly fade. Holes grew as light and reality started seeping in, sounds and noise starting to build around him. “Oom-Tom… Tom, are you okay?” came the familiar voice of Jacky as his eyes shot open and he blinked a few times as he returned to reality proper.
“Yeah yeah, I’m here… That is trippy, but hey, I think it worked.”
“How many fingers?” Jacky questioned, holding up her hand.
“4. Clear as day.”
“Pheeew. Okay look around, anything strange?”
Tom obeyed, sitting up a bit straighter and glancing about the room. “Nnnnn, nope all good. Just like last time I used one of these.”
“Right, good. Now what did she say?”
“Oh a bunch of stuff… mostly we chatted a bit about how she’s going a touch mad. Even Glazz thinks she’s falling apart at the seams apparently. She was also not happy I wanted a break.”
“Oh don’t tell me you have to do this every day from now on?”
“I said she had 3 days to get ready to try again. Hopefully she’ll have her case worked out by then.”
“Here’s to hoping… also how is your head? Does it hurt?”
“A bit, it’ll go away I’m sure.”
“Right,” Jacky replied, looking at him skeptically. “If it gets worse, tell me. But dinner was served a while ago I think. And I’m hungry.”
“Me too, let’s go.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
Well then, Joelina got her chat. She seems fine... I am sure she will continue to be a steadfast ally, within the walls of the inquisition for many weeks to co- I mean years, definetly years.
As always I hope you enjoyed the chapter, if not you know who to blame. I promise I won't cry to much if you tell me what was wrong... I promise.
Not really any news, other than fuck me I'm a busy boi, luckily I found the time to keep up with the writing yet, hopefully things will quet down soon so I can get back to begin a bit further ahead.
Untill next time, take care
Wiki and Art Gallery If you can't remember who someone is, want to read any of the side stories of fanfiction, or you just wanna watch some of the cool art that's been made for the story. Patreon If you want to help get more cool shit made consider joining the Patreon, you also get chapters two weeks ahead of time. HoH Subreddit if you want more stories from the HoH universe or are interested in writing something for this funny little world. Discord if you wanna have a chat about the story or just hang out First Previous

Most of you are probably already aware of this theory. It has been around for years. The great twist of Yandere Simulator will be the reveal that Megami and Ayano are sisters.
This had been a widly accepted theory since the release of Megami's first design, back when she still had black hair. Her design at the time was extremely similar to Kill la Kill character, Satsuki Kiryun. For those who are unaware, Satsuki is the main antagonist of the anime, and the president of the student council the protagonist attends. The plot twist of the anime is that she is the protagonist's sister.
Considering Alex knows about Kill la Kill, as proven by several easter eggs, it's likely he decided to use the same plot twist for Yandere Simulator. Megami's design was changed to not give it away immediatly, but of course, Alex couldn't keep his damn mouth shut, so there are many, MANY details that confirm this theory. I said details ? I should have said pages.
However, I feel like a lot of people are glossing over many details about this theory, and have many misconceptions about it. Notably, about how Megami and Ayano are related. So I decided to give my own theory, including all the... uh... subtle evidences we get in the game.
Crazy Grandpa master plan
No need to beat around the Saikou family's bush (or should I say tree, wink wink), you probably know about the Saikou Grandpa eugenics tendencies. His goal is to create the perfect human being, and he plans on using that by acheving the perfect combination of genetics.
So you might not know about this, but there are two major theories about the development of an individual. It's nature against nurture. Is an individual as he is because he was born this way, or because he grew to be this way. Is a person a blank slate at birth, or is their individuality already present from birth. This plays into determinism, I won't go into more details for a Yandere Simulator dumb theory, but you can look it up if you're interested.
So, to go back to Crazy Grandpa, he was probably on the side of nature at first. He only reproduced after he found the perfect wife, as he didn't want his gene pool to be "tainted", going as far as to DNA her on random shit. How did he DNA test her in the 60s is anyone's guess but let's move on.
The result were two children, Ichiko and Ichirou. Ichiko was raised rather normally, and ended up leaving the Saikou family as she didn't want to become the CEO. Crazy Grandpa saw it as the failure of his belief in nature, and decided to switch to nurture with Ichiro.
So Ichirou was raised with high expectations, to the point he acted like a robot, but Crazy Grandpa was very proud about what he had become.

Saishou carefully designed a very specific upbringing for Ichirou in order to encourage the development of specific personality traits and interests, and discourage the development of any attribute that he considered to be 'unnecessary'.

The boy spoke formally at all times, never expressed emotion, and rarely changed his facial expression. The Saikou family's attendants often wondered if the boy was still capable of independent thought, or if he was simply an empty shell that had been trained to carry out his father's will." Beside that, nothing else is known about his personality.
Familiar, isn't it ? We also learn that this is Saisho's conception of an "ideal person".
It is mentionned Grandpa was the one to chose Ichirou's wife, with the same criteria as he chose his own wife. Again, a perfect wife, because he didn't want his son to waste all the work he had put to this point to have a perfect bloodline. To this point, grandpa got the living proof that nurture works, but he still can't let go of his belief nature plays a part in it.
If only there was a way to run an experiment that could give an answer to this question...
The theory
The sisters theory is that Megami and Ayano are sisters, but there are usually divergences on how they are related. Keep in mind that I will be using the old timeline from 1980s mode as a template. It's already inaccurate as Yandere Simulator isn't set in 2022 anymore, but in 2026. But I don't care, the events probably play the same way.
Megami and Ayano are revealed in this timeline to have been born in the same year. You'll notice that the timeline mentions the birth of "Ryoba's daughter", and the birth of "Ichirou's daughter". Keep in mind that Jokichi isn't mentioned as Ayano's father.
And that's where we come to the main misconception in this theory.
Who are Megami's parents ?
Ichirou is obviously Megami's father. However, many have theorized that Ryoba is Megami's biological mother. This theory goes both way, either Megami and Ayano are twins separated from birth, or Saikou kept an egg from Ryoba and inseminated the Wife. This would make her Ayano's maternal half-sister.
I don't suscribe to this theory. Well, first of all, considering the timeline, Crazy Grandpa was the one behind the deal we'll mention later with Ryoba. I don't think he would have wasted his time finding a wife with perfect genes for his son if he had planned for her to only be an incubator.
Also, another reason, Megami's little antenae. It's a part of her design that she gets from her mother. The Wife is also mentioned to have given birth to two children, Megami and Kencho, which wasn't a necessary precision. Alex would have probably found a way to circumvent this if she hasn't really have birth to Megami.
So no, sorry, Megami probably isn't a yandere.
So... if Ayano and Megami aren't related throught Ryoba... how are they sisters ?
Through Ichirou. Simply enough.
Yeah, as great of a dad Jokichi is, he is probably not Ayano's biological father. Ayano is a copy paste of Ryoba, so he doesn't share anything in common with Ayano design-wise, that could indicate he is indeed her father. We don't even know that much about him as an adult. The Characters page doesn't mention him being Ayano's father, he is only described as the student he was back in the 80s.
However, Ichirou is described as extremely similar personality wise to Ayano. While Ayano is probably emotionless due to the Aishi curse, she is way more stoic than Ryoba in her own mode. But that's still a weak evidence, this is way I will back this up with the timeline.
We know that Ryoba has given birth to a daughter very late compared to her own mother and grandmother. These reasons are said to be plot related and big spoilers. Again, Ayano's father isn't mentioned as a parent, only Ryoba.

I recently went through my text document that lists all character ages and birthdates and changed a few things. Aishi women now give birth at 18. Ryoba, however, gave birth at 31, for plot-related reasons that will be revealed in the true ending (or perhaps in the basement tapes).

So, this is my own theory on what happened.
Just shut up and tell us what happened already
In the timeline, it is mentioned Ryoba's mother kept her Senpai in her basement. In 1984, when Ryoba was still a child, Saikou Corp renovated all the houses in Buraza Town for free, including Ryoba's house. Why was this even mentioned ? Because it was the first meeting between the Saikou and Aishi families.
Crazy Grandpa found out about the weird shit happening in the Aishi's basement. He learns about the Aishi curse. He decides to keep an eye on the Aishi's daughter at Akademi. Everything Ryoba did to get her Senpai convinces him the Aishi gene is the perfect gene to create an emotionless heir.

Kocho is extremely reluctant to let Ryoba return to the school, stand on a stage, and hand her a diploma but was told by Saisho Saikou to let it go.

He orders his men to abduct Jokichi as an hostage, so she would agree to have a meeting. That's when they made a deal, that Ryoba would be the mother of the future Saikou heir. But not only is Ichiro not old enough, he wants to find the perfect wife for him. She can marry her Senpai and have well paying jobs in the meantime.
Ten years after that, Ryoba has a meeting with Saikou and his son. And according to Kencho, she is apparently a regular.

She walked straight through the waiting room and directly into Mr. Saikou's office, without even speaking a single word to the secretary.

How long had that woman been coming here? How often? What business did she have here?
Kencho asks the secretary details, and we are told :

The secretary was silent for a few moments, and then gave me some generic platitude about how "the details of Mr. Saikou's appointments must be kept strictly confidential."

So either Saisho fired the previous secretary, or this meeting must be extremely confidential. Because that secretary was a huge gossip when it came to Ichiro and Saisho's falling off.
We get the confirmation it is a big deal as all the employees act the same at the mention of Ryoba.

When they saw how distraught I was, they were eager to help, but...
...When I asked them about that woman who just walked by, they... their attitudes changed in a heartbeat.
They slowly turned away from me and returned to their work in silence.
They ignored me, as if I wasn't even there! I haven't been treated like that since I was a schoolboy!

It was as if that woman was a taboo subject that no-one was allowed to speak of...or that...
He asks about her several times but Crazy Grandpa shuts him down. Kencho mentions Ichiro was there for all the meetings, but he has only heard him speak a handful of times. However, we also know that Ryoba and Ichiro have spoken with each other.
2004, Ichiro is in his mid-twenties. He gets married to the Wife. That's when his two daughters are born : Megami is born to the Wife, as the official heir to Saikou. Ayano is born to Ryoba, away from the Saikou family, as the bearer of the Aishi curse.
How exactly what Ayano born ? It is unlikely Ryoba would have cheated on Jokichi, which is why many have theorized on an insemination. Considering Saikou is a tech company, it's not out of reach.

He had two children, in accordance with his father's wishes; 'One as a backup in case the first child fails you.'

Yes, this might refer to Kencho. But this might also refer to Ayano. After all, Saisho did have twin daughters, before having a spare...
One was raised to be emotionless. One was born emotionless. It was the old debate, nurture against nature. Which one would produce the perfect heir to the eyes of the Saikou ?
Crazy grandpa retires in 2019, right before Megami and Ayano enter Akademi, and Ichiro becomes CEO.
Ichiro wants to select the perfect heir. And for that, he decides he will select the one who will come out on top, between Megami and Ayano. He seals a deal with Kencho about Ayano.

There is...one tape...that I'm already prepared to part ways with... The tape I made after Mr. Saikou's recent, ah...demands. It's far, far too risky for a recording like that to exist... That one...must be destroyed...immediately.

We know this deal is about Ayano. When Kencho kills Ayano as he feels threatened, he says "Mr. Saikou, the deal is off".
Ryoba and Jokichi both work for Saikou. We know from the headmaster that Ryoba and Ichiro have frequent meetings. She is able to walk in his office regularly. Why ? To discuss their daughter.
When Ryoba announces they are going to America, and Jokichi worries about their job, she says she gave a call to their boss and "he was very understanding". I used to interpret this as their boss being scared of Ryoba. But if their boss is Ichirou, there might be a reason he was so understanding. If Jokichi and Ryoba were to get away from Buraza Town, they wouldn't get in the way of his plans.
After Ayano disposes of Osana, we get a cutscene where he is on the phone with Ichiro. He seems very pleased with the unfolding events, and tells Kencho these deaths are "necessary casualties" for the "progress of science". Normal CEO activity, nothing wrong here.
But Megami also learns about this, as she is aware of the presence of a dangerous individual. Either Ichiro told her, or she might have discovered it by herself. Ichiro keeps her away from school for several weeks. She attends school through Zoom.
In very early builds of the game, you could find a laptop in the school. You would get to see Megami as a shadowy figure, back when she still had black hair. And here's her monologue :

I know who you are. I know WHAT you are. My father won't allow me to attend school while you are... "active". He has a reason for tolerating your presence at this school. I don't. You are a vulgar creature that is only allowed to exist because you serve a purpose. If it was my decision, then every last one of you would be exterminated.

And here's the end of Megami's description.

Megami clearly has some very important information that would cause her to go to such extreme lengths...but what does she know? Does Saikou Corp have anything to do with it? And, more importantly, does Senpai have anything to do with it?

So yeah, that's it for me folks, I'm putting the tin foil hat away and going back to my regular activities. If you have any counterpoint or anything to add, please tell it in the comments.

Hi! I have worked for 30 days consecutively however when I check my own personal log I’ve been taking with the log the payroll secretary puts in on sub central I noticed some days missing as well as the file # changed and the teachers name that I’ve been subbing for is missing now. I’m not sure how to go about asking the secretary about this as I’ve heard they sometimes will switch things on purpose so the sub does not get awarded the Z status. Any advice? TIA.