May poem kindergarten

Good day, everyone and welcome to our weekly mental health check-in thread! Feel free to comment below with how you are doing, as well as any coping skills and self-care strategies others can try! For information on mental health resources and support, feel free to consult our resources wiki (also located in the sidebar!) (IMPORTANT NOTE RE: THE RESOURCES WIKI: As Reddit is a global community, we hope our list of resources are diverse enough to better serve our community. As such, if you live in a country and/or geographic region that is NOT listed/represented but know of a local resource you feel would be beneficial, then please don't hesitate to let us know!)
Remember, you are human, it's OK to not be OK. Life can be very difficult and there's no how-to guide for any of this. Try to be kind to yourself and remember that people need people. No one is a lone island and you need not struggle alone. Remember to practice self-care and alone time as well. You can't pour from an empty cup and your life is worth it.
Take a moment to check in with a loved one, friend, or acquaintance. Ask them how they're doing, ask them about their mental health. Keep in mind that while we may not all be mentally ill, we all have mental health.
If you find yourself in particular struggling to go on, please take a moment to read and reflect on this poem.
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: This mental health check-in thread is NOT a substitute for real-world professional help/support. MensLib is NOT a mental health support sub, and we are NOT professionals! This space solely exists to hold space for the community and help keep each other accountable.

AM I TAH?
So for starters my best friend from kindergarten is mad at me. 19 years of friendship.
They recently started “ghosting me” (ignoring my messages/phone calls) this isn’t nothing out of the usual as she does have a mental disorder (BPD) we call it their “going rouge” episodes so I didn’t think much of it. They usually snap out of it within a month or so. Well it was well over 6 months and they’ve been active on fb, snap, and everything else. Ignoring my meme tags. That’s never been like them before. So I messaged and asked if they were seriously ok, and if I did something to make them mad… well I got a long message…
They said there was 2 main reasons why they weren’t talking to me anymore.
They said I was “acting better” than them bc I told them my car was 30,000 dollars more than theirs… just wait here me out.. they got a car that was a fraction of the cost of mine (nothing wrong with that at all) but they were crying to me on the phone when it had broke down and said they thought maybe it was a bad decision. I tried to reassure them that just because it may break down it’s cheaper to fix than buying a new one. As they claim they don’t want a huge car payment.
A brief explanation my car was 30,000 and it has had almost 9,000 dollars of warranty work done. (Thank god for extended warranties) My car has been in the shop more than I had it.
As they was crying to me overthinking their decision I tried to reassure them that hey, all cars break down. “My car was 30,000 and broke down so many times at least you will have way less than that put into your car after you get it fixed. (Their car needed a new head gasket). They claim I was trying to make it seem like mine was more expensive than theirs
I’m not saying this to be mean at all because I truly have tried to work with them with their diagnosis. But All our lives they’ve always made everything a competition. They’ve lived with a narcissist and their parent was diagnosed with it.
Their second reason to “ghost me” was recently they and their partner were looking at buying a house. The house next to me became up for sale. We both thought it would be a perfect idea. (Not knowing the price) They wanted me to ask the realtor how much they wanted for it. Come to find out it’s over quarter of a million dollar house. With 40+ acres. They advised me both of their credit aren’t the greatest and asked if I could put my name on the loan with them as my credit is almost near perfect and If I could help them with a down payment. (They know I have a good chunck saved up for when I buy a home)
I told them I was not comfortable doing it as I don’t even have my own home yet, and when I do go to buy my home it will show I already own a home. (Their home) I advised them that getting a mortgage is harder than just going to a bank and getting approved for an absurd amount as the average houses in our area go for 60-90k (we live in a very small run down town) they are both just starting out, no kids and this house is a 4 bedroom 3 bath house. I told them I don’t know if the bank would even qualify all 3 of us combined.
I make 40,000 a year. 14 an hour. I work OVERTIME. Almost 70 hours a week. 66 hours regularly. More if I get called in on call.. I am single and asexual (a little tmi but it matters here) I do not plan on having a partner in the future. So I will be a one income person. So I need to save up as much as I can now so I will be able to afford my mortgage with a good down payment when time comes. Their significant other makes 15+ and they make 14+ an hour. More than double what I make, they both live with their parents with hardly any bills… (some but not to the point they shouldn’t be able to save) I have bills, car payment, drive a lot for work I spend a lot in gas and pay rent. Neither of them have major bills.
They’re seriously mad at me for telling them I can’t risk not being able to afford to live comfortably. I can’t take that risk. We grew up and still live in the 5th poorest county in our state. We all got lucky to get good jobs as most around here are minimum wage jobs. I seriously do not want to grow up in poverty like we did growing up. It may sound silly but my goal in life is to own my own home and be somewhat financially stable and not have to live off the government to survive as all 3 of us had to do growing up. That is my ONLY goal in life.
In my closing statement I really love them to death. We literally grew up together. Our families are so bonded we are all a family. It hurts me they are not talking to me because “I made my self look better than them” and “I made it seem like they won’t go anywhere in life” I’ve NEVER thought that at all in my life. I AM their biggest supporter. We see our selves siblings. I’m hoping this is just something we can get over.
So am I the asshole for trying to comfort them letting them know even if they fix their car it’s still the best route as all cars can have major break downs like mine, and for telling them no for putting my name on a mortgage that wouldn’t even be my home?

Some try to make us feel invisible, small, not enough. For those times, may we remember Maya Angelou and her powerful poem, “Phenomenal Woman.”

[I wrote this article about Macbeth for my college's newspaper, and I thought this subreddit might enjoy reading it!]
I have joked before that Shakespeare’s two favorite subjects–surpassing love, murder, madness, and crossdressing–are botany and birds. If you’ve been to New York City you might be aware of the “Shakespeare Garden” in Central Park, whose theoretical aim (though it proves nigh-impossible in practice) is to house specimens of all the plants which Shakespeare mentions in his plays. As it turns out, Bard quotes make for quite a diverse garden: there are roses which assuredly would smell as sweet by any other name; there are daffodils, that come before the swallow dares, and take the winds of March with beauty; there’s holly, heigh-ho; there’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance, there’s pansies, that’s for thoughts, there’s fennel for you, and columbines–no word on whether or not they could find any violets, though. I suppose there’s no objection to be made against those who complain that Shakespeare’s language is “flowery”; even as vicious a villain as Iago deigns to express his philosophy on life by way of botanical metaphor: “Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardeners.” And, of course, the plot of A Midsummer Night’s Dream revolves around a magical flower which makes people fall in love.
I doubt anyone will object to my claiming of birds as Shakespeare’s other poetical fixation: I suspect that the majority of falconry knowledge which most non-falconers have today comes from reading footnotes in their copies of Shakespeare plays, explaining exactly what Richard II means by “How high a pitch his resolution soars,” or why Hamlet says “Hillo, ho, ho” to Marcellus. But while plants are so common in Shakespeare that I don’t know of one play which we might say is especially densely forested with references to them, there is one play that stands out as particularly full of birds in comparison with the rest of the Shakespearean canon. That play is Macbeth.
This is the sort of thing that one only notices after having read a play so many times that the actual events of the plot become akin to the meter of a poem–beats which must be hit, and which start to feel so natural that one hardly notices them–and one’s attention drifts away from the big, important speeches and toward the more utilitarian words and odd little moments that bridge them. I am not the first to point it out, but it is, all the same, a delightful quirk of the play, and could be a good way for Sophomores to throw their classmates for a loop in seminar [Note: Students at our college study Macbeth during their Sophomore year.]: why are there so many birds in Macbeth?
KING. Dismay’d not this/Our captains, Macbeth and Banquo? SERG. Yes,/As sparrows eagles… -Act I, Scene II
LADY. …The raven himself is hoarse/That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan… -Act I, Scene V
BAN. This guest of summer,/The temple-haunting martlet, does approve/By his loved mansionry, that the heaven’s breath/Smells wooingly here: no jutty, frieze/Buttress, nor coign of vantage, but this bird/Hath made his pendent bed and procreant cradle… -Act I, Scene VI
LADY. Hark! Peace! It was the owl that shriek’d, the fatal bellman… -Act II, Scene II
LADY. I heard the owl scream and the crickets cry. -Act II, Scene II
PORTER. …come in, tailor; here you may roast your goose… -Act II, Scene III
PORTER. ‘Faith, sir, we were carousing till the second cock… -Act II, Scene III
LENNOX. New hatch’d to the woeful time: the obscure bird/Clamour’d the livelong night… -Act II, Scene III
OLD MAN. …On Tuesday last,/A falcon, towering in her pride of place,/Was by a mousing owl hawk’d at and kill’d. -Act II, Scene IV
MACBETH. …Light thickens; and the crow/Makes wing to the rooky wood… -Act III, Scene II
MACBETH. If charnel-houses and our graves must send/Those that we bury back, our monuments/Shall be the maws of kites. -Act III, Scene IV
MACBETH. Augurs and understood relations have/By magot pies and choughs and rooks brought forth/The secret’st man of blood. -Act III, Scene IV
LADY MACDUFF. …the poor wren,/the most diminutive of birds, will fight,/Her young ones in her nest, against the owl. -Act IV, Scene II
LADY MACDUFF. How will you live? SON. As birds do, mother. LADY MACDUFF. What, with worms and flies? SON. With what I get, I mean; and so do they. LADY MACDUFF. Poor bird! Thou’ldst never fear the net nor lime,/The pitfall nor the gin? SON. Why should I, mother? Poor birds they are not set for. -Act IV, Scene II
FIRST MURDERER. What, you egg! -Act IV, Scene II
MACDUFF. …there cannot be/That vulture in you… -Act IV, Scene III
MACDUFF. …O hell-kite! All?/What, all my pretty chickens and their dam/At one fell swoop? -Act IV, Scene III
MACBETH. The devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon!/Where got’st thou that goose look? SERVANT. There is ten thousand– MACBETH. Geese, villain? -Act V, Scene III
Above I have listed every ornithological reference that I’ve found in the Scottish Play; as we peruse them, we certainly cannot conclude that every individual reference is of the same kind, or carries the same import. I will not pretend, for example, that, just because geese and ravens are both birds, the Porter’s invitation for the imagined English tailor to cook his goose in Hell merits as much attention as Lady Macbeth’s ominous declaration that “the raven himself is hoarse”. Nor do I think that any individual reference particularly demands explication; by itself, any one of these bird-invocations seems perfectly natural. Shakespeare’s talent is such that he can repeat a motif in such a way that on the macro level it is obvious yet on the micro level it hardly feels present. But that macro level is what interests me here: what impression is created, on the whole, by the presence of so many birds in this play? I have a theory, which, though it may seem far-fetched, I think merits at least some consideration, and which, at the very least, I have not seen stated elsewhere, and so may make a novel contribution to the conversation.
Macbeth is both Shakespeare’s most supernatural tragedy and his most Sophoclean; these two superlatives are inextricably related. The appellative Weird given to the opening scene’s three Sisters–derived from the Old English wyrd, meaning destiny, and famously given its more familiar connotation by Shakespeare himself in this very play–is, among the Bard’s works, unique to Macbeth; and just as that word appears nowhere else in Shakespeare, so is the concept it represents absent in all tragedies but this one. Though Hamlet may cry out against outrageous fortune, and though Othello may rhetoricize about how no man can control his fate, it is only in Macbeth that we truly feel that the events we see play out before us are fated, predestined, inevitable. [See Note 1.] The ghost in Hamlet commands his son to revenge his foul and most unnatural murder, but does not tell him it is certain that he will succeed; indeed, would not the drama be sapped of its intrigue if that level of certainty were present? Meanwhile, the supernatural interlopers in Macbeth offer the Scottish thane not a mission, but a prophecy: All hail, Macbeth! that shalt be king hereafter! From its mystical opening word–When, not If–the Scottish play makes us aware of the certainty of all that is to befall our tragic antihero. Macbeth is thus a different sort of tragedy than Shakespeare’s others, and it works by an inverted mechanism. While the tragedy of, for example, Desdemona’s death is that it may have been prevented, the tragedy of Macbeth’s destruction is that it represents the fulfilment of fate; and this is the very same mechanism by which Oedipus Rex operates, complete with its own “Weird” character in the form of the seer Tiresias. Though Calvin managed to accept that some men are destined for greatness and others for ruin, this idea is, to Shakespeare and Sophocles, nothing short of agonizing–the stuff of tragedy.
Now: what does all of this have to do with birds? Consider these words from Antigone, spoken by Tiresias to Creon:
You shall learn, when you hear the indications of my art! As I took my place on my ancient seat for observing birds, where I can mark every bird of omen I heard a strange sound among them, since they were screeching with dire, incoherent frenzy and I knew that they were tearing each other with bloody claws, for there was a whirring of wings that made it clear… (Lloyd-Jones translation)
Consider next these words from Oedipus Tyrannus, spoken defensively by Oedipus to Tiresias:
Why, come, tell me, how can you be a true prophet? Why when the versifying hound was here did not you speak some word that could release the citizens? Indeed, her riddle was not one for the first comer to explain! It required prophetic skill, and you were exposed as having no knowledge from the birds or from the gods. No, it was I that came, Oedipus who knew nothing, and put a stop to her; I hit the mark by native wit, not by what I learned from birds. (Lloyd-Jones translation)
The practice of divining the future from birds–be it from their behaviors, their cries, or their innards–was, to Sophocles and his contemporaries, not superstitious hokum, but a practical science at which one could be skilled or unskilled, and it bodes ill for Oedipus that he is so quick to disregard it in favor of his own native wit. [See Note 2] By Shakespeare’s day, the practice had long been relegated to the realm of outdated hocus-pocus, but the Bard still saw some truth in it; in Macbeth, there is a recurring sense that, when the world is sick with some great wrong, its first symptoms manifest in the behavior of birds. When the “fatal bellman” the owl shrieks in the night, Lady Macbeth takes it as a sign that her husband is about his bloody business. The day after the murder of Duncan, as Ross converses with an Old Man about the strange things they’ve seen the previous night, “unnatural/Even as the deed that’s done”, the killing of a falcon by a mousing-owl–an omen straight out of Sophocles–is mentioned before the madness and cannibalism of Duncan’s horses, even though the latter would surely be more immediately noticeable and ghastly than the former.
These are the most obvious examples of birds as ill omens in Macbeth; yet even the more innocuous invocations of birds throughout the rest of the play continually turn our thoughts back to the ancient Greek understanding of fate and prophecy, and thereby remind us that, however savagely he may fight at Dunsinane, Macbeth’s fate is as fixed as that of Oedipus. The birds have already foretold all.
Note 1: The closest thing there is to this kind of fatalness in another Shakespearean tragedy is the several superstitious occurrences in Julius Caesar–both the soothsayer’s message of “Beware the ides of March” and the bestial portents such as the lack of a heart in an offering and the whelping of a lioness in the streets. Still, I will insist that these omens do not convey a sense of fatedness to the audience as strongly as the Weird Sisters in Macbeth by virtue of their being told to Caesar himself, not to Brutus, the play’s true protagonist, and by the fact that Shakespeare elsewhere uses dialogue to throw some doubt upon the idea of predestination: "Men at some times are masters of their fates:/The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,/But in ourselves, that we are underlings." -I.ii
Note 2: The Liddell-Scott Greek Lexicon identifies at least two separate verbs referring to bird-based divination, both of which are present in the quoted passages: Tiresias uses ορνϊθοσκοπέομαι, observe birds, interpret their flight and cries, while Oedipus uses οιωνίζομαι, take omens from the flight and cries of birds. The latter term comes from οιωνος, a large bird, bird of prey, such as a vulture or eagle, and so distinguished from a common bird, while the former comes from ορνις, which more generally refers to a bird, including birds of prey and domestic fowls. Birds of both kinds are present in Macbeth; there are οιωναι, such as the “falcon, towering in her pride of place”, as well as ορνες, like the Porter’s goose and cock. I therefore see little value in interrogating the kinds of birds invoked by Shakespeare, the specific cultural associations and significance of the owl, the raven, or the wren; rather, if we reduce them down to their barest existence as birds, animals of the class Aves, and consider them in an ancient Greek light, then things become a bit clearer.

hello, i’m looking for poems that may relate to/encapsulate the autistic experience. i have just been recently diagnosed with level 2 autism and i would love to read about others perspectives on it

hello, i’m looking for poems that may relate to/encapsulate the autistic experience. i have just been recently diagnosed with level 2 autism and i would love to read about others perspectives on it

Started in 1960 and it was rough. Heating issues, water cuts, backed up sewers... but I made it to 10k people. In 1968 I had to enable cheat mode for a one time "loan forgiveness". I built up debt into 1980 but finally turned the profitability corner. So here's what I'm going to try to do in my next play:
Macro Layout
Pollution is king. When things ramped up, 400 meters wasn’t enough. Put the edge of housing a full kilometer from industry and waste handling.
Rail is important early. Lay in a single rail line to pull gravel for construction, coal for a heating plant + bricks, and connecting the farm to the industry. Build your construction industry on one side of the border and your manufacturing industry on the other side of it.
City layout
Start with a bus stop and building your residential buildings 200 meters max away from it. Put paths parallel to roads. Create redundant paths to everything so upgrading to gravel, asphalt, etc. doesn’t break things. Build all your housing on one side of the bus stop initially.
Put city services based on vehicles (police, fire, etc.) outside the core of the city. They’ll only be walkable to half of the city compared to the bus stop but the city can be larger. Same with university and schools. Schools, kindergartens, etc. may become overcrowded as the city grows. Build the large hospital in the core as despite having ambulances it is primarily a walking building.
Transfer for big waste (large) should be at the edge of your city and connected to a rail line. Technical services delivers to there. From there, a rail line eventually exports it for handling. Until the rail station is built, use a distribution office to export waste. Sorting is key and should be researched early. Use Stand for big waste containers (small) attached to roads to collect waste whenever possible. Stand for small containers (large) can be used when footpath access is the only option but it’s remarkably less efficient. Citizens produce about 1:3 biological waste to mixed waste so allocate containers accordingly. Within the city only hospitals create hazardous waste and nobody creates aluminum waste.
Build the small party headquarters to start, then the large technical university. You'll need the numbers for faster education and faster tech tree climbing.
Import 3rd world immigrants once you have a minimum educated base to staff your schools. They're way cheaper. Quality housing > dense housing. Dense is great but dense and poor quality = high resource intake and low productivity. Densify in your second city, or rework.
Monuments only get your to 40% loyalty so don't lose your mind on it.
Water and Power
Redundant and parallel. Every time you place a transformer, place a high six way high voltage splitter with it. You will branch your power network to more places over time and need to reroute wires which you can only do while online with open switch ports. Never use the last switch port without building another chained switch.
Similarly, always branch your water and sewer. Unfortunately you can’t have multiple inputs to a line, but you can at least make sure that you can keep branching until the upstream has nothing left to give. Pay attention to pressure. Build the large water tower to supply the town.
Intake water quality is key. Your wells must be placed where pollution won’t reach. Industry should be fed directly from a well so you’re not spending chemicals purifying water. The more polluted the water is, the more chemicals you’ll have to spend to clean it up and that gets expensive very quickly.
Treating wastewater gives a massive reduction in pollution but also takes an expensive amount of chemicals. Best to put your outlet far away if possible instead of trying to treat the water. Drop a sewer switch (remember, always an empty outlet on every switch for infra changes!) before the outlet in case you change your mind.
Roads
Vehicles use the same amount of fuel as long as they’re in motion. If your vehicle top speed is a fraction of your road speed, you’re wasting money. Road stretches of ~500 meters need to be paved and should probably be divided highways. Tight industrial roads with lots of turns can be gravel because you won’t accelerate much anyway. Panel roads are also pretty good as intermediates here. If you’ve got advanced roads on, make sure to set give ways at every highway intersection or your vehicles will drop down to 50 km/h at every one.
Your center of town road probably gets congested and you can help that by banning heavy goods vehicles except supply.
Industry
Focus around one large long warehouse with a train connection at the end and factories directly connected around the warehouse. Central warehouse should have:

• Food factory
• Fabric factory
• 2x Clothing factory
• Chemical factory (possibly 2x)
• Livestock farm

The livestock farm is a bit of a wildcard. It consumes a lot of water and generates a lot of wastewater. Plan for this and consider whether it should be located near your farm or near your factory. I lean towards keeping it with the factory for the sake of concentrating your workforce on one high-throughput passenger line. We'll see how the next playthrough goes.
Mining
Steel is my highest cost and getting to a steel mill that runs even at 5% of capacity seems highly worthwhile. Find coal, colocate with coal mining, attach to train line. Attach transfer to large waste and manage as needed. General separation on site may be reasonable.
Farms
Grow locally. Farms are basically the one thing that doesn’t require people to produce profit or at least reduce cost. As the input to one of your early money makers (clothing)
Economy
Clothing is a top export and accessible early which is key. Build for it, use your own crops, and fill in the rest of the supply chain as you can (chemical plant). Same for steel after some time: find the iron, move it over… but start with making the plant run even with imports.
The republic runs on steel. Want to move something efficiently? You need rails and steel. Want to store it? More steel. More efficient building or process? Going to take steel.
Find coal, make steel. When you have steel, get the radio station going. Yeah, that's not an industry but the productivity boost from loyalty boost is huge.
Now that you have clothing and steel going, make a refinery.
From this point, find the most expensive import and produce it locally until the most expensive doesn’t matter. From there, climb the tech tree into autos and nuclear power. Expand to new cities.

https://www.reddit.com/GriefSupport/comments/1bykm11/anaia/
https://www.reddit.com/GriefSupport/comments/1bxzqi4/siste
About a month ago, I posted two separate posts on this subreddit about my younger sister, Anaia, who passed away on March 17th, 2024. In one post I gave photos, and in the other I wrote about her addiction, but I don't think I've really talked about myself.
It has been nearly two months since my little sister passed away, and I wouldn't describe it as grueling or depressing, just unusual. On April 22nd, it was confirmed to my family that Anaia died as a result of fentanyl toxicity, which was the reason I always assumed but to have it confirmed was very depressing. Yesterday, I went to my grandmother's house and there were a few copies of Anaia's death certificate, in the onset interval to death section, I said minutes. When talking to my mother (me and my parents talk all the time, my dad sits in my room and plays games while we talk about Anaia or something random, and me and my mother will talk about random things as well as Anaia too.), she told me her perspective of that morning. Long story short, around 11:45AM, I woke up to my mother screaming my sister's name and she soon realized she was unresponsive, me and my father woke up soon after and I called 911, and that's the short version. I assumed my sister was in her covers sleeping and fentanyl overrid her system, but no, my mom told me that when she walked into Anaia's room, she was laid flat out on top of all of her covers, arms outstretched to the side. Learning that was a major shock to me, and I'll explain why.
Sure, Anaia's death was nearly instant. But hearing the details of what my mom said really drove him that once it happened, it didn't matter whether we went into there at the right time or later, there was likely nothing that could've been done. From my understanding, it was almost as if she was up one second and collapsed the next. There was dried vomit on clothes next to her bed, making me assume that after vomiting, she just collapsed instantly after and died. After calling 911, my mother demanded out of fear for me to help her perform CPR, and I didn't hesitate to do so. But, anyone in that situation could tell, with no details given, that there was nothing that could've been done. The typical signs of a deceased body were very present, and even I (doing the mouth resuscitation) knew that if I felt no air coming back onto me, and touching her neck didn't give a pulse, I quickly understood that this was it, like there was nothing me or my parents could've done. When the paramedics arrived at 12 exactly, it took them a minute or two for them to tell us that there was nothing to be done, and ultimately, Anaia had died long, long before we got to her. They said roughly 6-8 hours, meaning at the earliest 3am, and at the latest 5am. It's a disheartening fact for him, and even my father expressed to me too a few nights ago, but we wished that at least there was a chance for us to get to her beforehand. Maybe if he and I or my mom went into her room for no real reason in the middle of the night, we would've been able to save her. What really struck me when my dad was telling me that was him acknowledging that while he and my mom were watching TV, he couldn't bare to imagine that simultaneously Anaia was dying. I felt the same way, I was awake around 3-3:30AM, and if she died during that time, I was totally unaware scrolling through my phone.
I wish that there was something to be done. During her time alive, and when she started doing street dealt percocets, I warned her about fentanyl, and ultimately I wish she had heeded my warning and stayed off them when she did quit in December. I'm a sociable person, and I'm one of those people that have a wide different variety of groups and friends I hang out with, and I may not be in extracurricular activities but even those that are popular in my school know me. As a result of being so sociable, I know people that do drugs, and only a set few who do percocets, one of my closest friends used to be a heavy percocet user and I used to tell her as much as I did my sister to quit. My friend and my sister quit, but one returned and one didn't. One is still here, and one is not. It doesn't matter how many people I told not to do percocets, of course I would've wanted my sister to be the one to really listen to me. But ultimately, the person I wanted to save the most didn't make it. I've saved others, but with my sister, it almost made my words feel like nothing after she died. No matter however many times I told her to please find something less dangerous and more beneficial, to not risk her life, she kept using and lost her life. Said friend and two other friends of my sister (I know both of them) were also at some point active percocet users, and they told me that they felt it like it should've been them, seeing my mother made them see that that could've been their parents, their siblings, their friends and relatives, etc. I told them bluntly that it in fact could've been them in Anaia's position, I told them that just because Anaia's clock stopping running doesn't mean there's has to, they can avoid being in her position. Then it got me thinking, there's plenty of other people who overdose on purpose, who overdose 9 times, who overdose and suffer long term effects like paralyzation, but still remain. Anaia overdosed once, and that was the final time. I believe in God and Jesus but I'm not a preacher, I believe and keep it pushing but I'm not religiously based. I believe in the concept of everyone having a time and a date, but sometimes I find myself questioning that if that's the case, are we just here to live a predetermined fate that we have no control over? At the end of the day, was I meant to go through this? Thinking like that plagues my mind, but I settle for it being her time to go, as seeing other drug users made me wonder what they may be here to prove on earth that Anaia could not. I don't like questioning others' lives and why they get to live longer, that's not me, and I'm glad they've been granted more chances, it just sucks my sister wasn't granted that chance in the grand scheme of things. Predetermined or not, there was so much she could've lived for, but I believe there's a reason time can't be reversed, and there's many unexplained miracles that somehow eases me into thinking that I shouldn't throw myself into a hole of questioning why she didn't get a chance, and just accepting that her race ended earlier than mine. I believe things happen for a reason, it's an insensitive statement depending on the situation, but things happen for people to learn and grow from them, but no one really knows why. I've just had to come to the conclusion hat my sister is okay, she's safe, and I have no reason to continue to question her life and worry about her if she's not here with me anymore, you feel?
From a brother perspective, it sucks. It feels somewhat lonely, to live and breathe as an only child. I've become accustomed to being an older brother to a younger sister, but I turned 16 without her, and that's how it'll be for the rest of my life. At her visitation on March 30th, I didn't cry, but seeing her body just made me shake my head. She looked very nice, the funeral home did an amazing job, but it hit me that this was really her. There were distinct things I saw that she had in life that made me come to that conclusion that that was what was left my little sister, and at the funeral + burial the next day, watching her being lowered into the ground left my head empty. No thoughts, she watching as her casket covered in a white sheet was lowered into the ground, and that'd be it. I grew up with this person, and now I have to look down on this person and go through life without this amazing person. I never imagine something like this happening, especially not like this. I always wanted to die first because I was older, a thought I feared ever since I was a child. That didn't get to happen, and milestones man. She'll never get to graduate the year after me, never get to have that lovely relationship with that special one that she always wanted, she never got to be an aunt, a mom, nothing. One day, I hope to have children and I will tell them about Anaia, but do I wish they'd have been able to meet her if that time came. Everyday, I walk past her room, sometimes I go in there and sometimes I don't. Two weeks after her death, her mattress was taken out by me and my dad's friend, up until a few weeks ago, her room was left scattered the way it was when she died minus the mattress, and now, everything has been cleaned up. It's empty, and the emptiness is another reality check. I'll never see Anaia again, and in the potential next life I believe I will, but the fact I can't now is a hard concept to grasp. No more walking to the bus stop, no more barging into her room or vice versa, no more waiting forever for her to complete her makeup, no more random room hangouts, no more of her asking me to flash a light for her Instagram pictures for an excruciating ten minutes, none of them. Her physical presence is gone, I come home everyday and instantly the thought of her being gone hits me. Riding in the car with my parents, being at school, going out, it doesn't feel the same knowing in the back of my head she's gone, no matter how much fun I have. Regardless, I've returned to normal life, matter of fact, I started going to school every day instantly after the funeral, and during the two weeks of March 17th-March 31st, I showed up to school here and there. It didn't take a toll to do so, because I've accepted that though Anaia died, I'm still alive? I don't stop when she does, that'll have more of an effect. Life still goes on, time doesn't stop for no one no matter how much I may want it to. I honestly sit my current happiness at like a 6.5-7, higher than one may expect. I still have my parents, my friends, and all of my relatives, an important chunk is just missing but I still have my people. I only feel alone in the sibling aspect, but in reality, people make me happy everyday and still continue to. I joke how I've always joked, people have said I look much better than how I did initially, there's notable sadness on my face, but I look happier. If that's true, then I hope it stays that way. I still go out to these afterschool events, outside friend hangous, they bring joy. I just miss my sister 25/8, but I've learned to appreciate life just a little bit more now. If she's okay, I'm okay.
Lastly, I wanted to mention dreams. People say they have dreams of deceased loved ones all the time, I personally haven't yet, would like to, but until then that hasn't been the case. I'm not talking dreams with the person in them, I mean direct communication dreams. My mother has had two, my dad's friend has had one, and my close friend mentioned earlier has had one, but the one that sticks out the most is my little cousin's dream. My mom has a younger sister herself and in 2018, she had her first child, his nickname is JP. During 2021-2022, me and Anaia lived with my grandmother due to losing our apartment (our parents stayed separately at a grouphome my dad worked at, they work for my grandmother's company), and my aunt as well as JP stayed with my grandma. JP essentially became me and Anaia's little brother that we didn't have, and vice versa for him, he sees me and Anaia has his older siblings. Seeing him seem so heartbroken after Anaia died was very sad, as you can see written on this five-year-old's face that Anaia was someone who truly mattered to him and he was so sad about it. However, in his dream, Anaia came to him and told him she loved all of us, that she regretted not seeing him grow older, and that what happened to her was an accident. The part that got me was that Anaia told him that where she was was beautiful, he asked to see it, and she told him he couldn't see it yet. Kids just don't make things like that up in my opinion, and he worded it very detailed for a kindergartener, and JP is at the age where his words don't conflict with other things he's said, he's consistent with it and he tells me the same thing he told me the first time when I ask him here and then. He can see it one day, but he can't see it, not yet. What that tells me is that if life is so hard, death must be so beautiful afterwards, and that there is an afterlife. Even if I believed in a separate religion, or if my current religion isn't the truth, I will always believe in an afterlife. I refuse to believe that this world is it, and kids just don't pull stuff out their butt in a serious situation. I believe him. If that's the case, then I'll gladly wait. It doesn't matter how many people die during my lifetime, whatever remains of it, and how many new people I might meet in my life. If my hope of living to elder age and I meet someone and create a family, and even if said wife and or children die before me if that plan does happen, there's only one person I wish to greet me. I hear that people see a loved one before they die, and I hope Anaia is the one that comes to see me when it's all over. Forever, no matter who else passes before me, Anaia's will stay the worst, the most impactful, and that's a strong statement to make but I'm sure of that. I have plenty of goals I have for myself, but my end goal once the others are done is to get past 70, pass peacefully, and have my sister wait for me there. I hope that wouldn't be much to ask for.
That's it.

There is a beautful scene in Caliban's War, when Avasarala is reading a message from Arjun:

She touched the screen, her fingertips tracing the line of his shoulder. “So I understand from your message that you may not come home,” he said.
“I’m sorry,” she said to the screen. “As you imagine, I find the thought … distressing,” he said, and then a smile split his face, dancing in eyes she now saw were red with tears. “But what can I do about it? I teach poetry to graduate students. I have no power in this world. That has always been you. And so I want to offer you this. Don’t think about me. Don’t take your mind from what you’re doing on my account. And if you don’t …” Arjun took a deep breath.

 
He ends with a poem:

“If life transcends death, then I will seek for you there. If not, then there too.” He looked down and then up again. “I love you, Kiki. And I will always love you, from whatever distance.”

 
Later on in the book:

... and then something else, something small, fell into place in the back of her mind and she started laughing and cursing at the same time.
[Bobbie]: "What? what is it?"
"'If life transcends death, then I will seek for you there. If not, then there too'." she said. "It's a fucking haiku. That man has a one-track mind and one train on it. Poetry. Save me from poetry."

 
The poem resonated with me in a big way. I can't say why, but when I read it I teared up a bit, and cracked up at Avasarala's "It's a fucking haiku"
Anyway, I've been playing around with AI since Chat GPT came out, and one test I like to give is to see if they can translate the English haiku into a Japanese haiku while retaining its meaning (at least, how I interpreted it).
No AI has been able to do it (not even close). That is until GPT-4o, which was announced today. It took a bit of prompting and testing (by feeding it back in to a new conversation). But this is what I came up with so far:

死後あるか (shigo aru ka) Is there an afterlife 無にても君を (mu nitemo kimi o) Even if there's nothingness 探し求む (sagashi motomu) I will search for you 

While I don't understand Japanese in the slightest, this attempt was much better than my previous ones. It captures the meaning (in my opinion), but I'm not sure of the aesthetics in Japanese. The English version "hit" in way the AI still doesn't seem to get. I'm curious if there's any humans out there who can come up w/ something better!

Have lived in the Orlando area since 2018. Finally got finances somewhat on check (who ever does 100%) and credit score in a decent spot. So starting to casually look for homes.
Big kicker, I have a soon to be 6 and 3 year old. I don’t want to pay for private school. I do know there are charter schools you can apply to get into (is it a lottery?), but don’t want to bank on that. So I am looking for areas that have decent schools kindergarten through high school. I have targeted areas like Blankner K-8. Target price is around mid 500s, which for that area may get me a dumpy house but something lol.
I’m okay with something that needs work, but can’t work with bad schools. I work by Universal, wife is a nurse with Advent in Celebration but likely could easily transfer. Bey open to other suggestions and help.

Hi guys, I’m a hobby poet and I really enjoy using my creative outlets to give some dignity to my insane Limerent thoughts. Lol. Now I’ve got quite the collection built up and just for fun I thought I’d draw a few illustrations and self publish it on amazon (for free of course). Was wondering, as I cleaned it up a bit, if anyone had any suggestions or prompts to use to write a few more poems or perhaps add some elements to already created ones. Obviously stuff you yourself wouldn’t use. If you are interested in my style here is some of my work (not related to limerence):
“Heavy May:
Leave to others mild browns, let them twist their daisy crowns into emblems of their life; free of blizzards, free of strife Hand me winter's tortured twigs stain my lips with august figs. Suicide's breath is springs's warm air, how I wish I loved the fair! I have switched my white with yellow, only sought the sweet and mellow, Yet I ache for freezing lungs miss the wildfires on my tongue. My hearts needs its howling nights Bethlehem's raging candlelight. Hear, I have observed one thing, who rests in winter, dies in spring.”
“Electric Shocks:
My rainbow boy, disturbed by none is lying on the bed,
his mother is the august sun, the lightness in your head.
His father is the steady rain that lulls you back to sleep, she spread her warmth in every vein he gave him strength to keep.
But I am not admired by crowds, the envy makes me shudder the product of two thunderclouds will always be an other.
They have made something frightening in their violent clash.
My fingers burn with lightning beware my wild flash.”

Šulmu one and all,
As of today, our small community has officially reached 6000 subscribers! While that's not as large as some of the mainstream pagan and polytheist communities, it's impressive considering how niche our faiths are.
I've never had a roadmap for this community, trusting instead that the userbase would guide its growth and development toward whatever made it the most useful to them, and I will continue to do the same as we move toward 10,000 subscribers.
Thank you, everyone, for all of your contributions, comments, artwork, dedicatory poems, videos, insight into the languages, and more over the past decade. This community, and its affiliated groups, only exist because you continue to show an interest in connecting with the Gods, and a thirst for knowledge that goes beyond conspiracy theories and fad interpretations of our faiths.
May our words and actions continue to be pleasing to the Anunnakkū and Igīgū, and our lives worthy of their many blessings.

I don’t know how well this will be received here, but unfortunately I am beyond desperate at this point, and I figured I would ask you all for help, since there seems to be a solid contingent of WFH people in this community. Perhaps one of you will be able to help me out.
TLDR: I’m desperately searching for a remote job, in technical writing or adjacent fields. I know how to use MadCap Flare, Confluence, JIRA, and some Git commands. I can send my full resume on request.
Longer version: I graduated in May 2023 and it’s been bleak ever since. I have a degree in English and a minor in Biology (and knowledge of Spanish). I’ve had my eyes on technical writing as a field since my freshman year of college as a way to combine both my love and skill in the sciences and in writing, but also because even then before the pandemic, technical writing was flagged as a career with a lot of remote work opportunities. I have chronic migraines that require me to spend a lot of time in the dark, and so it was important that I look for career paths that have the best chance at accommodating it.
I did a remote internship in technical writing for a software company that I absolutely adored and was successful in. It was in this position that I learned the above softwares: MadCap Flare, Confluence, JIRA, Git. I’ve been looking and applying for similar positions since I graduated, to no avail. I have won multiple awards from national and international writing competitions, so I do know how to write.
I’ve been working as a legal assistant, which is thankfully remote, but it is part-time and minimum wage with no benefits or PTO. It is not enough for me to move out and support myself on my own, which I’m looking to do as I am currently living with a family member who takes no precautions. Moreover, I really don’t like the work (but that’s far secondary to pay).
So please, if you or anyone else has any leads on a remote, technical writing job or something adjacent, please please PLEASE help me. In exchange for any help I can write you a poem, crochet you something, whatever. Apologies to put this here, but I am beyond the point of being desperate enough to beg for help from this community.

It's often said that ancient Indians didn't have much of a tradition of history writing similar to that of the Greco Romans or the Chinese. We did have the Puranas and the Itihasas but they are riddled with myths and legends which makes it hard to distinguish which event is historical and which is mythical or legendary. The vast timespan of the Puranic timeline also doesn't help our case. The Buddhist sources also talk of various events and though they are comparitively milder with myths, still mostly has a didactic nature. Something similar could be said for the Jaina sources.
The Puranic chronology of Kings and their dynasties give adequate information about the dynastic chronology of the Kings in ancient India. However, they are quite inconsistent with their lists and apart from a few succession conflicts and details about a few kings and dynasties, the Chronologies barely give us any information about the events associated with those kings.
Apart from these we mostly rely on later works of literature which are usually biographies rather than a formal form of history writing, plays which talk of possible events of the past and finally inscriptions.
One could clearly see that none of these sources have a descriptive historical nature. Something that we find in Ancient Sinitic and Greco Roman sources.
However, is it possible that there did exist a tradition of history writing similar to that of the Greeks or the Chinese among the Indians but it has been lost because of unknown reasons? Think about it. The plays and the literary works written on various events of the past were written several centuries after the supposed events took place. For example we find mentions of the Mauryan empire well until the times when James Princep deciphered the inscriptions of Ashoka. A diverse genre of texts mention them in Religious literature, plays, biographies etc etc all written in various time periods since the fall of the Mauryan empire. For the poets, playwrights and biographers to mention the Mauryas in their works, there has to be a way by which they have a knowledge about them and their existence. Also the fact that the Ashokan pillars were used to inscribe inscriptions by subsequent kings like Samudragupta for example, shows that there seems to be a powerful legacy attached to them.
The Mauryas are just one example. There are many such events about the past related to other political entities described in the vast corpus of ancient and early Medieval Indian literature. This only makes sense if there exists a medium through which these events were known by the people of those times. Which points out that there seemingly did exist a form of history writing that wasn't just a didactic form of text riddled with myths like the Puranas and the Itihasas or the Buddhist and the Jaina texts.
Why do we have no traces of this form of historical literature? There could be multiple reasons for it. One of the reasons could be that this genre of literature wasn't taken as seriously as the other genres. Which is why there could have been many inconsistencies in this type of literature. Which explains the inconsistency in the puranic chronology of Kings. The Brahmanas who composed the Puranas could have referred to these texts when they were constructing the list of rulers and because of their inconsistencies, it led to the subsequent inconsistency in the puranic list as well. This genre of texts was probably used mostly by poets and playwrights for their works and as a result didn't seem to have a serious importance in society as plays and poems are usually associated with pleasure. It possibly didn't have much of a political importance similar to the one we see in the other contemporary civilizations.
Another reason could be that this genre of historical literature simply died out with the fall of imperial powers in the sub-continent. With the emergence of feudal polities in the later half of the 1st millenia AD, the importance to record the dynastic history of large imperial powers in the north of India might have decreased. Which is why this supposed tradition of historical literature might have died out until the emergence of the turkic powers would introduce a new form of historical literature derived from the Islamic tradition of history writing.
The final and the most simplistic explanation would be the turkic invasions themselves. The Turkic invasions led to the destruction of multiple religious institutions of the native Indians like temples and viharas which were the leading storehouses of knowledge in pre Medieval India. The destruction of these institutions might have led to the destruction of multiple of this kind of historical literary works. However this would be refuted as other genres of literature did survive the Islamic invasions. Why would the turkic rulers only eliminate this kind of literature and not the other kinds?
Ofcourse there is no physical proof of the existence of such a type of historical literature in ancient and early Medieval India. One may only hypothesize the existence of such. However, this seemed to be an interesting theory in my head. Give your views on this if you like.

When I found this forum about a month ago I was reading the back posts and weeping the whole time.
Background:
I have processed this in therapy, made my peace, and have empathy for the situations that made her who she is.
I don't want to cause her harm, and fortunately I am really bad at relationships, and do not have children. Because it would be very painful if she had grandchildren that she has no access to. My sister and BIL can't have kids. (Details omitted for TW)
I work in the MH field, I'm an Nurse Practitioner. I worked as part of a DBT team. I am not DBT trained or certified but I got really good at boundaries, and sensing manipulation, without having an emotional response.
Before I went NC I would directly and clearly set limits. I stopped her when she would try to split my Sister and I, or gossip about her. There were several times every visit where I would stop her, and explain how I would not engage, did not want to hear, or set a reasonable expectation. Her reply a few times was "Don't analyze me."
Which is amusing because after the last estrangement, I asked her to go to therapy.... never happened.
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Current Situation:
My Mother visited my Uncle who is dying of cancer and has by his estimation about 2 months to live.
My Mother sent me a text that I should visit him that she was down there and he does not have much time to live. I forgot I hadn't blocked her number on the new phone.
I have been NC for 9 years other then sending her a 9th Step (AA) letter. I intend to be NC for the rest of her life or mine whichever ends first.
I asked if she was present in the room. She left the morning of him calling me. I said I appreciated him not doing "One of those Ophra type interventions" as it's usually destructive.
I asked about visiting. Everyone has been invited down but me. He says he would like a visit.
He wants me "As a personal favor" to reconcile with her. I should mention he's a retired corporate attorney. Yes it's not amateur hour on either side of the phone. He said she was "Distraught that I would not talk with her."
I said let's address the second item, as you may not want me to visit depending on how I answer.
I would prefer having this conversation in person and to not have this conversation on a 2 sided Cell phone call either.
I said "no."
He pushed back and said this was not normal. I explained how it's more common then you would think both from people I know and also from being in clinical practice for almost 20 years.
He said "I can hear it in your voice that you want to reconcile." (Defining my feelings) I said I am speaking to you in the same tone I use with my patients.
I said that I will not be interacting with her for the rest of our lives. That this was a carefully made and considered decision.
I said we can discuss my reasons if you would like.
He said that was not his concern that it was between my Mother and I.
My mind formulates, "So no matter what happened, there is no reason that would cause you to find estrangement acceptable." Secondly you are implicating that I am being unreasonable, or worse yet cruel.
This goes in circles.
He bounces off a few boundaries, answer stays the same.
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I figure I am going to let him know some of the situation. Because he's dying and I don't want him to think I am just being unreasonable and stubborn.
I then explain a little of how our childhood was. The abuse that my mother and I got. I also said I suspect my sister getting other abuse. Left that one hanging out there... Remember this is what I do for a living so that should have significant weight.
The things I did that I regret, and have made amends, as well as going to therapy, stopped drinking, worked the steps, and so forth.
I mentioned my sister goes to Trauma therapy, partially because of me.
Which also puts out there "Has your Sister ever had any therapy for all the stuff she has been through?"
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He says "I can hear you are angry at your mother.." (defining feelings again) "
"Help me understand why do you feel that way."
"Based on what you said (above)" I said back, I am not angry at her. I have accepted and made my peace with this situation. I only listed my part in it, and what I have done to become a better person."
Which floats the unsaid question "What is her part in this?"
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I said the offer is on the table to talk about this, or not talk about it. That is up to him. If you do want to have this conversation then it needs to be scheduled so I can have my notes.
The offer of a visit is "We shall see, and depends on how I am doing, check back in a week." I know the answer already. I also explained if I visit I will be getting a hotel room and a rental car, and that it's probably better if we do 2-3 hour visits so I don't tire him out.
The unsaid part is I want to be able to leave if I need to immediately, I want to be able to go to daily AA meetings, I want my own space process this coming loss. I
wrote a poem about this situation and read it in at my AA homegroup (The meeting you go to most and help keep it going.) I haven't written a poem since HS writing class. I've been weepy about the whole situation on and off.
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I have a letter penned to my cousins, who I am in contact with explaining that he is a father figure in my life, that this is a very painful situation for me anticipating his passing, and that I apologize for not attending major life events in their lives and their children's lives because of this estrangement. That I won't be attending his service because it's the place for my Mother to mourn her last living sibling.
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Conclusion:

1. That firstly he feels that there is nothing that would justify estrangement.
2. That my Mother probably said she has no insight into why I estranged her.
3. Based on #2 I am guessing that she has had no therapy. A good therapist would turn that around and use certain questions to help her develop insight.
4. That he feels I am angry and I want to reconcile.
5. Defining my feelings is a huge red flag for me.
6. I bet he didn't expect me to be calm, collected and give a rational and consistent dialogue.
7. Having to hear about his Sister's home life probably hurts. The fact that he probably had no clue until my father passed, he has a lot of guilt.
8. He's formally trained and skilled in negotiation tactics.
9. He's dying so he has a huge ability to guilt me.
10. I gave him the option to understand, that I would visit if asked, that I would limit exposure, and that we did not have to address this, or we can look at photos and tell stories, etc. What is not on the table is reconciliation with my Mother.

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Yo, dads. Not sure if I'm looking for advice, stories or just solidarity here. My wife and I are increasingly sure our 5.5-year-old has Oppositional Defiant Disorder and/or ADHD.
Basically, every action that needs to be completed has a high potential to turn into a struggle with our kid. For instance, exiting our car after all going to a playground yesterday became an ordeal - I won't leave a little kid alone in a hot car in our driveway in front of our house. Not a random hill I'm choosing to die on; it's something that cannot be allowed. Everyone's dealt with this, but it's damn near every time and any potentially anything that needs to be stopped/started can trigger an impasse - and specifically when my wife is in the mix. When it's just myself and my daughter, she's waaaay more reliable and civilized.
And it seems like this dynamic has turned into a real rut, especially on weekends. We also have twin one-year-olds, but my older daughter was like this prior to the babies being around. We'd hoped as she aged a bit, this propensity for completely obstinate behavior would decrease. It seemed to ebb for a while, but it's come back around to the point that we dread weekends where we're all together. And, look, we give plenty of praise when she does good things, especially unasked, so it's not just a bunch of "no!" Likewise, we explain why we want things done or not (it might break, it's unkind, we'll be late, etc.) so we're not just issuing a litany of commands for no reason. And we give her special time together with just us as parents individually.
Some of it may be just being ready for a change with school and activities, which is thankfully about to happen with summer, and some of it is definitely that she has a high sensitivity to being at all tired or hungry or sick, in that those factors really make her act like a psycho. But, fundamentally, she's always been wired to dig in her heels and...just press our buttons by whatever means she has available.
We're sorta at a loss here. We're starting to get the ball rolling again with some family counseling stuff (we had one shitty child psych about a year ago be like, "Of course she's messed up. She has new babies in the house."). My wife is a veteran kindergarten teacher, and I'm a former military officer, so we're not like n00b pushovers about having a backbone when needing to ensure we communicate a direction clearly and authoritatively. But, like, we hear from friends about how hard their kids are, and it's clear our daughter is simply a harder case. And with baby twins to also raise, we don't have the luxury of waiting out her resolve every single time. Some things just have to get done right then and how we say.
Of course, I can't communicate all the nuance here, but would appreciate hearing from dads who have been here, especially ones that got a clinical diagnosis. What's the journey like? What successes have you had? Our daughter has tons of friends and is well-loved by her teachers, but she seriously lets it all hang out at home, and it just ain't getting better yet.

My 6 year old son was recently diagnosed by a psychologist for ADHD. He has trouble holding attention especially for longer mental effort tasks, high energy (hard to stay in seat), easily distracted, and has trouble following instruction (especially multi-step). Behaviorally, he is very impulsive, and gets into trouble a lot at school, where he hits other children in response to something they did (e.g. hit him first, doesn't give him "enough space", disagreements etc).
The outside psychologist recommends an IEP to take advantage of things like 1:1 para, preferential seating, simplification of complex directions, reminders, counseling to help with executive functioning etc.
We are in NYC. We have consulted with the school to initiate the process. The school psychologist hinted that it seems unlikely that he will qualify for an IEP, and almost certainly not a 1:1 para (unless it is deemed he is a danger to himself or others). But they agreed to perform the evaluation to learn more about him and this may help in other ways to accommodate his learning. They suggested maybe he should not be in Gifted & Talented if it is a stressor.
Other background is he is in a Gifted & Talented class; he is a bright kid but due to his resistance with longer mental efforts, he was behind other kids in kindergarten. Since end of kindergarten, he has been working with a private tutor, and he is doing fine in the G&T class. His teacher says his academic performance is fine (my son claims things are too "easy" but I'm not sure about this). She does provide a lot of accommodations on her own such as preferential seating and reminders.
My main question is how do I best support my son? What should I say to help support the case for an IEP?
From what I've read, it seems like a 504 plan would be the most common for ADHD students.
But this would reduce his chances for school counseling for executive functioning support as these are prioritized for IEP students.
And as I understand, a 504 plan has to be put in place with each new school year. Would I need a new ADHD diagnosis each school year?
If you have read this far, thank you very much! We are very new at this and could really use some advice!

Hello Pubtips! I’d love feedback on my query letter below. In addition to feedback on the pitch, if anyone can think of additional or alternative comps, I’m more than open to suggestions. Also, thoughts on pitch before vs. after the metadata/personalization paragraph? Thanks so much!

Dear [[Agent]],

[[Personalization if there’s something compelling to put here]] I hope you will consider my adult mystery THE DISAPPEARANCE (85,000 words). This multi-POV novel set in San Francisco will appeal to fans of the intergenerational complexity in Nina Simon’s MOTHER-DAUGHTER MURDER NIGHT and the retirement-age sleuths in Daniel Osman’s THE THURSDAY MURDER CLUB.

Thirty-seven-year-old single dad Max can barely stand to have Sunday dinner with his testy father-in-law, Daniel, let alone play overgrown Hardy Boys with the man. They never did enjoy each other’s company, even before Max’s wife fell into drugs and out of her young children’s lives a year ago. But then Bill Danvers—Max’s would-be father figure and Daniel’s longtime friend—vanishes overnight, leaving behind a bloody pair of glasses and his glib, freeloader nephew.

Max and Daniel become wary allies. They soon discover that Danvers’s disappearance may have ties to an emerging pharmaceuticals scandal at the kids’ elite K–12 private school, to which Danvers sent his own daughter back in the day. Kindergarten teacher Tara wants to help Max almost as much as she craves a distraction from her hoarding, hypochondriac parents, putting herself at professional risk by joining the investigation. But Tara and Max’s growing connection irks Daniel, who already didn’t like Max all that much without also having to see him canoodle with another woman.

When death enters the picture, however, father- and son-in-law must set aside their mutual distrust and painful shared history long enough to find Bill Danvers—or stop his killer.

[[Bio]]

Thank you very much for considering this project. May I send you the manuscript?

Sincerely,
[[Contact info]]