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I’m glad I’ve found this group. Maybe I can get some solid experience to overcome this. Growing up I did not have a lot of serious relationships let alone sex at all. I met my wife through a common friend from church. At the time we were getting ready to leave on religious missions. I really liked her at the time but couldn’t and didn’t wanna make a move because of what we were both preparing for. Anyways, a few months later she got a boyfriend and I was super mad because she told me she wasn’t looking for anybody because she wanted to get ready blah blah blah. I resented her and stop talking with her. Fast forward a few years. We get in touch again, we started hanging out and this time she fells for me. One day she confess and I had to bring up my hurt she choosing that guy over me. But again, they were only together for a few months. As we get to know each other I made the mistake to ask about her past. And she answered. Even though she has had several boyfriends, she’s been intimate with 2, ones of this being the last guy she chose over me. Luckily for me, it was not intercourse encounters but more like foreplay stuff. The 1st guy she ever had anything was a boyfriend from high school who black mailed her with oral if not he would tell her father about them. She said he did horrible stuff to her all the time they were together. The 2nd guy was a quick oral that didn’t go far because she stopped it. This happened in his school dorm. The 1st guy there’s nothing I can do about it. But the second guy, I was kinda in the picture. She never spent the night with me, but she would sleep in this guys dorm all the time… she even went on a road trip with him and she assured me nothing happened and I believe her. That whole fucking experience kills me. The fact that she chose him over me first. I feel like 2nd. The things this guy got without marrying her, yet I had to marry her to get it… she’s giving me a few orals in the last 10 years we’ve been married but the fact that I don’t how easy that guy got it kills me… I love her but those thoughts trigger me. I feel stupid thinking that way but I wish I can control it.

Before I get into this long rant, let me say that I loved the show, met amazing people, and have generally enjoyed Red Rocks for other shows I have attended (though their accessibility leaves a lot to be desired). This show, however, was a total clusterfuck in how it was handled. I saw ST when they played Mission last year and got there an hour before doors and the line was super long. From my experience at that show, knowing how the fan base is, and knowing that this was sort of a “special show” I decided to get there about 3 hours before doors yesterday. Parking attendant was rude when I didn’t turn when they wanted despite me hesitating because there was a car behind her she didn’t see heading toward me. Fine, whatever. Ended up parking in upper north because I have severe asthma and it’s typically less stairs to go in at the top. Was camping out and had so much fun with fans. Seemed like we were in the first 300 or so at that entrance. Closer to 5:30 maybe we see a worker walking down. Think nothing of it. She then comes back with a whole bunch of people from the back of the line and practically whispers come this way for a shorter line and directs them to some different line that is apparently shorter. No notice. We all have chairs and food and a bunch of stuff we can’t just pick up and get up. Plus she had a huge line of people following her from the back that made it hard to jump in. That was annoying but figured maybe they are sending them somewhere else and it will be fine. Nope. They got the main north entrance up top. Our line ends up getting directed to a little side entrance instead of the main entrance at the top. The security was a joke. Only two people checking the line. They didn’t even look in my bag and just asked if I had anything in there. I had a huge blanket on top. I could have had anything under there. Ended up getting dumped at the bottom of the stairs so had to climb up even more with my asthma and at this point I was tasting blood. Because we got directed to such a small entrance where they took a while getting people in instead of the several people checking at the main entrances, the show was half full already (later saw pictures from people on twitter who were ahead of us by like 150 or so at like one of the first few rows after the ticketed seats). They should have directed the front of the line forward and had people move up. I know that fan lines aren’t honored but this wasn’t like a, I gave myself a number and came back at 6pm situation. Would have saved that worker from having to walk to what I assume was all the way to lower north too. So thus far we have getting fucked in line order, getting fucked at the entrance, and absolutely terrible security. Again, I’m just trying to enjoy my night so still trying to shake it off. Nope, the venue clusterfuck saga continues. Try to get in a merch line and there is attendant there who is turning everyone away in a very rude manner saying it’s too full. You need to climb all the way to the top to get in the back of the other lines. Greatttt. Get our spots, get in the other merch line. The merch line took about an hour or so and I missed all of ESB but it was worth it and the merch people were super nice. Come back and see how OVERSOLD it is. The whole time I was in merch line I could see the upper south entrance and it was completely slammed the whole time. When I was trying to get back there were people everywhere because there were no seats left. I decide to get a drink and while I’m waiting I see probably a 64 year old worker literally grabbing people forcibly by their arms and pulling them in the direction she wants. She yelled at me asking if I was in line and I awkwardly laughed that I hoped so. She was not amused and went back to grabbing people roughly by their arms and yelling at everyone. I get back and enjoy the show but you couldn’t help but notice just people standing everywhere because they oversold by so much. These tickets were like $190 base with fees and people traveled from everywhere so I can only imagine how frustrated they felt. I saw posts after of people saying how they couldn’t see through the trees and attendants kept telling people where they couldn’t be but not where they could. I have worked crowd control before and I understand it is hard, but the venue really fucked this one up. Overall the fans themselves were great and the vibes were amazing, but Red Rocks needs to get it together. Staff grabbing and yelling at guests and not properly checking bags is so absolutely not okay.

I am in so much pain today.
On Friday May 10th as usual I was speaking with my friend through messenger like we did every single day for years now, we have lead pretty much the same life career wise,both in our 30s, only difference is he didn't want kids. Every little thing we talked about, even if we had nothing to say I would see a traffic jam in his area and I'd be concerned that he might get delayed by it or itd be annoying for him I would give him a heads up even if he already knew. ( I am a trucker and so was he).
These past months have been different I could never put my finger on it things were different we used to speak for hours on the phone up until 6 months ago, I left the industry the phone calls became more difficult to have because our schedules changed so significantly, and about 3 months ago they just stopped, I would try to reach him but he just wouldn't answer anymore. He would always respond to messages though, except for the weekend that's when we both disconnected the best we could from our phones to try to be more present with family, but during the week we each would have 13 to 17 hour long days at work and it was always nice to know someone was there if needed.
This brings me back to May 10th a day I will regret forever. It started with me getting to my truck ( I started driving again after the 6 months because I myself had a mental breakdown from it at the time and I've only been back for about a month) at roughly 330am and the dam thing had a electronic issue, sensor somehow got damaged after sitting there all weekend, I just casually message him complaint " oh it's going to be one of those days showed up and this happened (sent him pictures of my dash and error warnings that it was showing) and within minutes even being so early in the morning bam there he is " dam man that sucks, it's probably (offers all the knowledge he has which in fact was the right answer)" we joke around a bit, I get to take the day off paid now because the truck going to sit in a shop.
Later that day I'm sitting at home and I tell him the shop confirmed it he was right, he just responds with " my trucks engine blew today and finally after getting to the shipper I lost the bill of lading for my delivery and they were pissed". I respond with a "You win" the bad day contest that we seem to have had so many times before in the past.
Sometime passes an hour or so and he finally responds " I told (my wife) that I'm not going to her parents tomorrow (may 11) Im not dealing with this this weekend" ( his wife's dad was the owner of the company he runs a truck for) I agree with him say best not to bother with it (father in-law ) he will just blame you somehow even though nothing you could do about.
This is where I should have known something was wrong. A short time passes and all he says is "I'm done" I respond with " done for the day or some working for (father in-laws company)? He responded with "Just done" which then I immediately sent 2 responses of " days off are needed for sure" and " if you need to talk I'm here as usual"
Now being a Friday night we both do our disconnect from phones him always alot more dedicated to it then me, I usually see him pop online once or twice but nothing all weekend. Monday rolls around and I send him a good morning text just to start up our usual conversation, around noon I notice my message hasn't sent and he still isn't online, I go up to my wife with alot of dread and state there's something wrong with (my friend) I don't know what it is but I can feel it.
3 hours later his wife posts from his account that he had suddenly "passed" away on Saturday May 11th. I jumped out of my chair ran out side and just screamed, I haven't stopped randomly crying since I read the Facebook post, if only he has called, if only I pushed harder for him to speak to me, the more I think about the more I believe it's my fault, I knew about his past, I knew he had be going through new medications, this man was like a brother to me I could always rely on him and he could always rely on me I just wish he asked for help from me and I didn't weigh him down with my insignificant in comparison problems.
It's selfish but I just want to talk to him again. I don't want anything else at this point. These years have been so hard and he has saved me more then once I never got to return the favour in such a way

You heard it in the title! I'm on the hunt for 4-5 people to join a new sci-fi ttrpg called RE:EMEGENCE. Tons of options for playable races and classes alongside a bunch of cool aspects with a timer system and more to add to the immersivity. It's got something with making individual characters have special roles. Those characters will always have the spotlight in their special areas leaving no man, woman or odd alien creature behind! Playing Mondays at 5PM MST. We'll have one shots hosted every week for the remainder of May. We look forward to having you join us on a very special journey. Message me for more details.
(Heres the established 1 shot story for this week. It might change out next week)Established bounty hunters have been framed for an assassination of a high Attlas Corp operational personnel. However, an unlikely team-up between Shraxx and Attlas members suspects otherwise as you play the game of Who done it? The adventure will take them through possible suspects to interrogate and find out who committed the crime. Of course, Attlas is paying you! Since no one else picked up the check....

I didn’t date until I was 18 years old. I never really got asked out and I really wasn’t that outgoing so I probably wouldn’t have said yes anyway. “My first date” if you can call it that because I definitely don’t claim it as one. we went to college together and one of my friends at the time convinced me to go out with him. He was funny but that was about it. He really wasn’t that cute, with acne all over his face long shaggy hair, facial hair that really wasn’t coming in and very bushy eyes brows. Hopefully you get the picture.
I really didn’t want to. But i think I went because I told him that I would and really value my word and I don’t like following through with what I said. I texted my Mom about it to let her know where I was going just to be on the safe side. We went to Chick-fil-A down the street we drove separately thank the lord I really don’t think after the conversation we had or should I say he had that I would have road back with him.
So I got there and he told me that he had forgotten his wallet at home so I being the nice person I am paid for his meal.
I honestly don’t remember eating and I barely remember most of the conversation. I just remember him going on and on about himself and about his family. I think the BIGGEST thing that shocked me to my core and left me speechless and still has me kind of like lost for words all these years later was the fact that his sister if she liked you she would bite you. And she would bite him and her fiancé all the time. He tried to play it off like it was a normal thing because I guess it was in his family but I was just token by surprise and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Needless to say I never went out with him again and ether he was just using me for a free meal or he knew that I wasn’t going to see him again.( I honestly think it was the first option) he didn’t text me after that. Thank the lord, I’ve never wanted to get away from someone so fast. But now I’m happily married to my best friend who also went to the same college and who pursued me even though I turned him down several times. But that’s a story for another time.
So do you guys think he was just getting a free meal and he made all that stuff up and he was being a bad date on purpose? Or do you think any of that was real?

Hello I need advice on how to move forward I’ve exhausted every method of contact with my case manager so that they may approve my hours because my mother has passed this has become a bigger issue as it was my only form of income and savings have gone to funeral service, I’ve made
Two trouble tickets that gave my case worker 10 buisiness days too respond
I have called and left a message with a office supervisor
I have left a message to the county supervisor
I went in person. And they told me they will “CC” every supervisor in the county about no contact and they will definitely get back to me because other wise they would be reprimanded and was also given their personal office line
And have not heard back that was last Friday
I just don’t know who or where else I can go if anyone has been in a similar situation please share some insight on where to go

I am a psychology major, nothing is more fascinating than understanding people better and understanding what makes them tick. I also have such a love and passion for music, my favorite type of music being love songs because they have such a passion about them with how it's expressed. I also have been listening to a lot of pop punk over the past year! I also love to sing with a passion, especially love songs since I can serenade people (Even if I'm not a good singer). You can always spot me out in the wild, windows down, blasting music and singing my heart out!
People would think I'm a musician with all my instruments, but to be honest, those things are basically decorations at this point. However, I have a piano and I'm trying my best to learn how to play that! I love the way that it sounds and the melodies it can produce, so that keeps me going with wanting to become better at it!
Ideally, I would like to talk to someone around my age (21-29), but I make exceptions for some pretty awesome people! So if you think I sound interesting enough, send me a message! I also have a picture of myself on my profile if you need a face for reference as to who you are talking to! If you have made it this far, well kudos to you! Hope to hear from you soon!

Hello everyone. I am in search of a long term RP partner for a prompt set within a modern fantasy Slice of life at a an Academy for the mystic arts. This will be taking place between the years 2009-2014. Please understand that I am more than willing to change the idea around or add in some elements you might suggest. Below is a small portion of the opening. If you are interested or have more questions feel free to ask me in a DM.
In your hands was a letter stamped with a wax seal. It was an unusual thing to see in this day and age and yet as you opened it, it became clear this letter was far more unusual than you had initially thought. As soon as the seal was broken small celebratory sparks and confetti emerged from within its confines. Upon removing the letter itself the seal burned into the paper seemed to stare back at you. It was only when it blinked that you did a double take as the letter began to speak audibly.
“Good evening! We hope this letter finds you well! Based upon your remotely measured aptitude for the mystical/ magical arts and or predilections for the extraordinary we are pleased to extend to you an invitation to attend our humble institution this fall! Please, if you are interested in attending our academy please report to the admissions office on the 20th of August. Below is the address for your local admissions Office.
4621 Willow Branch Lane, Harrisburg, PA 17110
Wishing you well! Amelia Cartwright, Admissions Department, Mystic Academy of Pennsylvania.”
Below is a list of things I am looking for in my role play partner since this may be a little longer term:
• This particular idea is 18+ so you must be as well if you contact me. This RP will include darker themes and I prefer that it remains dark.
• Someone who will contribute to the idea and is not afraid to share thoughts with me especially if its a twist or new character.
• I am looking for someone who has a good level of experience role playing. I’d prefer someone with at least a year or two of experience minimum.
• I encourage people to use pictures to set the scene or show people, vehicles, objects along with using face claims to give an understanding of their character. It is not a must but it is a preference.
• I mainly use discord to rp on. It is my preferred place to RP though I prefer we have a discussion here before moving there.
• To contact me feel free to send me a message here on reddit as I will usually respond within five to ten minutes if I am not asleep. I am on MST.
These are all my personal preferences for role playing. Sorry if that’s really long I just want to make sure that everything from my preferences to the idea comes across clearly. Please send me the word “Sprite” in the DM you send so I know you at least skimmed this.

I am a psychology major, nothing is more fascinating than understanding people better and understanding what makes them tick. I also have such a love and passion for music, my favorite type of music being love songs because they have such a passion about them with how it's expressed. I also have been listening to a lot of pop punk over the past year! I also love to sing with a passion, especially love songs since I can serenade people (Even if I'm not a good singer). You can always spot me out in the wild, windows down, blasting music and singing my heart out!
People would think I'm a musician with all my instruments, but to be honest, those things are basically decorations at this point. However, I have a piano and I'm trying my best to learn how to play that! I love the way that it sounds and the melodies it can produce, so that keeps me going with wanting to become better at it!
Ideally, I would like to talk to someone around my age (21-29), but I make exceptions for some pretty awesome people! So if you think I sound interesting enough, send me a message! I also have a picture of myself on my profile if you need a face for reference as to who you are talking to! If you have made it this far, well kudos to you! Hope to hear from you soon!

“Did that Human just hit my ship?” Admiral Carney of the Saigor Empire peered out of the viewport. His voice tinged with disbelief. His ship, the Gavaron, a superstar dreadnought 10 kilometres long and brimming with every weapon the galaxy had to offer, was being propelled backwards past the fourth planet of this insignificant solar system by a man dressed in a blue suit and red cape. The crew, initially stunned, began to regain their composure and halt the ship.
“Sir? What should we do?” His second-in-command looked at the screen in disbelief. “That hit destroyed the forward shield generators and the forward main cannon!”
“Ehhh? That has to be a hologram. Scan for whatever weapon they used and send in two frigates to destroy whatever that thing is.”
His order was followed, and he saw two of the frigates that had been held back speed past him, launching rockets at the target, only for the rocket to be blasted by some red laser from this human's eyes, according to the video feed.
“Are you seeing this? What in the fifth unholy hell is this thing from? Is it a droid? “
“Scans say it's biological, and there is no technology detected, and according to our files, it looks human.”
“LOOKS HUMAN?” Admiral Carney turned to the science officer. “Does that look like a normal biological being to you? Those rockets are made of Dirunium. We can launch them through a damn sun if we want to.”
He turned to see this human grabbing a frigate and slinging it towards them. The other hightailed out of there, jumping into light speed in whatever direction they were facing. Smart kids, he thought.
“Brace for impact!”
“Brace for impact, but the shields?” His first officer looked at the helmsman as he shouted out the warning. Admiral Carney sighed and looked at him. “He destroyed them, remember? Move the ship out of the trajectory, turn the ships around and get us out of here. We can't fight that thing.“
“What about the shield? We can't jump without a shield?”
“Have a support ship land on the bow, and have them extend their shields over our damaged area. Then, let's get out of here. “
“Sir! The human is approaching us.” The words made it go cold down his spine. How could that thing, man, move that fast without any tech?
“Is he attacking?” He managed to keep his voice calm but he was getting worried. Was he to die here? In what was supposed to be a simple invasion to teach the recruits how to do the job.
“No, he is just watching us.” The words calmed him down. Maybe they could survive this. It was a defence system; it had to be, so if they just left, it would leave them be.
“Then ignore him, and let's get out of here.”
When he finally had time, he went over the reports. Earth was not supposed to have such a being as its defender. He had never seen or heard anything like this. This might cost him his job, but there was no way in the five unholy hell he could ever win over that. He logged the report and got himself a drink. He looked at his own fist. The green muscular fist would never be able to do something like that. They will cut his horns and blind his third eye for this, but he would survive. He could leave the navy and find a job on a starbase far from the capital planet. Yeah, it might be for the best. He got out the pad, wrote down his resignation, and sent it to the headquarter.

Five years later

Jar Carney had been working as a bartender at the Gustun star base for five years now, a trader base that saw creatures from all over the galaxies. Here, nobody knew or cared who he was, though he had heard the stories about the admiral who quit his position after attacking Earth, and a single human beat them back. It was a very popular story among some of the travellers. The only thing Jar found funny was that they often got the species of the admiral. In fact, mostly, it was somebody else than a Cunar like him; it tended to change. Lately, it was a female admiral of the Surion empire. Carney had to smirk at how the story had changed, and then he turned to the new Surion bartender, Saris, a young woman with a serious face who always kept to herself. She was pretty for a Surion; her soft yellow and black striped fur and the short tale made her cute, and her feminine movement had already made a few brave patrons try their luck. However, she ignored them all. “Hey, I didn’t know you guys had female admirals?”
She froze as he spoke, and Jamir, the local drunk, chuckled. “Only if they are royalty, they are given a fleet and told to show what they can do. But this time, this princess went to Earth, which was such a stupid choice. I thought they had learnt by now.” He then winked five of his 15 eyes at Saris.
Both Carney and Saris turned to him and said in unison, “What?”
Jamir laughed and finished his drink. “I’m the Funasta Admiral they spoke about last year. Unlike the smart invaders, I managed to land on that cursed planet, and while that demon tore through my fleet in space, I had to face something even worse. We set up a teleport point and just started to send in our mech units. They suddenly faced a green giant behemoth of a human. The more they shoot at him, the stronger and more dangerous he became. Then, we launched our troops and drone fighters. The humans responded by sending in more of these demons. First was a man in red who ran faster than we could see. Then a man dressed in old armour and a hammer of all things came, he controlled the weather and everywhere he struck was also hit by lightning from a clear sky. The green behemoth and the hammer guy are just as strong as the demon in the sky. They just can't fly like him. Besides the red blur that will zip around and disarm your troops, the ground support of those two monsters is a few other demons. There is a man with metal claws that could heal any wounds we inflicted on him. He is aided by a woman who tore through our men like they were paper. We had managed to defend the teleporter, so we poured in our drone clones. It didn’t matter.” He took another drink as he got lost in the nightmare that would follow. It took a second before he continued.
“The worst happened when night came. They made the dead rise to fight, Led by some bloodthirsty beast who drained our officers. Then came the humans, who turned into predatory animals and were immune to anything we threw at them. At that point, we finally had enough and ran away. We teleported home since all our ships had been destroyed and destroyed our side of the gate. So, of course, I was expelled.” He smirked, showing maw of short teeth.” But I had recorded too much evidence for them to ignore it, so we sent spies to try and find a weakness in their defense, and then we found out we were not the first to face them like this.“ He held out his glass for refill, which he got.
“We discovered that they have defeated at least eight invasions this way. And” He stopped for dramatic effect. “ We discovered their weapon. Those monsters are not real—well, they are real, but they are the result of human imagination. They have this technology that allows them to pull their —what’s the word? Ahh, now I remember superheroes and monsters from their books and movies, and for as long as people needed them, they would protect them from the enemies of the Earth. You see, they vanish once the invasion is over. Then the humans plunder the battlefield for tech.” He chuckles as he looks at his clawed hand. “Yeah, so here we sit, three admirals fracked up by imaginary monsters because nobody would believe it before seeing it with their own eyes. I mean, would your rulers believe such a fracked-up story.”
As always, let me know if you post it anywhere else. I'm okay with it as long as I get credit and am notified.

TLDR: Some background. I live in a city that has an artist's co-op. During the pandemic, we relocated to a wonderful location. We were asked by the President when we picked up our door fobs if we agreed to have our personal info/image on the website. I said no because I was stalked, and have PTSD because of it (for real). I am on disability for this and depression. I have not worked for quite a while.
Forward two years later. Another member of this co-op asked if I would sell her small work at the outdoor market I had arranged. Let's call her Joy. I said yes. Then to help me with the tent, I asked her to come with me. I said it would have to be only be her small work, because I had over 138 pieces. Six weeks later, the night before (to make this part very short), I asked her how many pieces besides the small works she was planning on bringing bc I saw her picture of a fully loaded car. (!) She replied Well just come out and tell me you don't want me to go! I thought very carefully about my response because she has a sharp temper often in the studio. My response was to tell her that she should do what she feels is best. You can just imagine the text fall out from that. She went off on me via text. Therefore, she did not go.
Weeks later, I am at the co-op on my scheduled night. She shows up (she knew I was there bc she saw my car). The second the last person left, she started to scream at me. She ran over from the other side of the room and stood above me. She was red and shaking her fists. I could feel her spittle on my cheek.
When she turned around I texted a fellow member to say I was in trouble. I ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I was in there for at least half an hour. The member talked me through it, said that she would have her bf call 911 if she was still there. I was sobbing and shaking. But she had indeed left.
Two days later, I went to the police. They told me that I had to go through the board at my co-op first.
At this point, at no time was there any bylaws posted or shared with any member. I got a copy from a board member though she apologized that it wasn't posted.
I did report it to the President. Her solution was to have a separate meeting with Joy and me at the guild. And I was told that I would have to sign something. The day before the meeting I hired a lawyer to accompany me because I no longer felt safe in that space.
The president commented that she had evidence that I was entering the space. I said that yes I was, but it was late at night (like 1 am) , and I would lock the door put a sign up with my cell number to call to be let in. I was told by my psychologist to do that (I have a letter stating that) bc of my ptsd. All the times that I did go in, not a single guild member ever showed up.
Within half an hour of sending that email, I was told I was kicked out immediately. It was cc'ed to all 90 members. They took two months to refund my fees and then didn't refund the correct amount.
One of the bylaws of this provincially funded co-op is that you cannot be a member in good standing unless you pay for the full six months. I have it on record that Joy bragged about only paying her fees monthly because the president was her bestie. I have text from another member who also only pays in monthly instalments.
It's coming up to almost a year. I am considering going to the human rights commission but I am not sure if this would be considered a violation. I did not go back to the police because I could barely take care of myself. I felt like I was retraumatized all over again. The president knew I had ptsd. Maybe she thought I was joking?
I hired a lawyer and she stated that what was done was against the Society's Act, but it would cost 10 000 dollars, so why not wait until the board changed? Now the president is the treasurer. Go figure.
Is there any point taking this back to the police? Is there any point in going to the Human Rights Commission?

I currently (40M) had my ex (35F) completely destroy our relationship while I was working out of town for a few months. This happened a year ago and wish I had these stories as a resource while going through it. I have just started to use Reddit and been reading the experiences of others here and have decided to share my story in hopes it will maybe help others. That way some good may come from some of the worst times of my life.
A little backstory for context for the story and insight to some of the decisions I made. When I turned 30 I left the major city in my Province (it is like a state if you are an American) because buying just a simple house is over a million dollars and I don't make near enough to afford that. My goal was to move to somewhere more rural to buy a house, meet someone, get married and have a child or two. It was my only dream I had and believed I could attain it. I lived out in the bush on my step dads property in a run down trailer I bought so I could save money for the first 3 years. I had my dog but the loneliness of living in the middle of nowhere had got to me. By then I had saved a fair amount of money, so I decided to move into the town. It was nice, it cut my commute down by 40 minutes, I had started to make a few friends and no longer felt so isolated. It was through my friends I met my future ex. Let's call her Kali. She had a long term boyfriend when we first met. Their relationship ended a couple of years after meeting her and we started dating a few months after.
We mostly had a great relationship for the next 4 years. The only thing was it was on again off again. She would dump me after I did anything really special for her for a week and beg me to take her back. It was like clockwork. I used to think it was because of her depression and that she didn't believe she deserved to be truly happy. Nowadays I actually think she might have been cheating the whole time and just felt guilty about it when I did nice stuff for her but I will never know the truth. I don't care what the reality is anymore anyway, Time has a funny way of making stuff like that irrelevant. We did have one bigger break of about 5 months. When it happened I took time off work to travel in my RV the whole time. From spring to summer. I really didn't like the town I lived in and decided to use that time to check out the rest of my Provence to figure out where I wanted to restart my life. She was basically the only reason I stayed for so long. I did have a decent job and family close by but most people I met there were not good people. Lots of drug users, liars, and general scumbags. I had only a few real friends there. After I got back and had decided where I was going to move to she had decided she wanted me back. She begged me to stay and be with her. She told me that she wanted to get serious. We started making real progress about getting married, having kids and looking at buying a house. Everything was coming up Milhouse and I couldn't be happier. So You can probably guess this is when my tale becomes interesting for you and life got real bad for me.
My career is seasonal. I work from spring to the end of fall and can go on unemployment insurance or find work. My dad had asked if I could help on his farm breeding horses that winter when I had still planned to leave my town. I had promised him that I would because it would give me a place to stay before people in my field of work would be looking for employees. This had been agreed upon before me and Kali had got back together. Now I have always been a man of my word. It's something I take great pride in. I have always hated liars. I don't mind a little embellishment to make a story more fun or if two people's stories are different as long as they both believe that was how the events happened. Everyone remembers things slightly off. She was upset that I had intended to keep my word to my dad but I had every second weekend off. The town my dad is in was only a 2 hour drive. So I told her I would be back twice monthly for weekends and that it would only be for 4 months. For the first two months everything seemed fine. During this time I started to look at rings to pop the question and booked an expensive spa for two days in May to propose. There was only one weird thing that happened during the first two months. On one of my visits she confided in me that her brother's wife had cheated on him and that their newborn baby was most likely not his. I was shocked that she not only knew but didn't plan to tell him. She said she didn't want to tell him for fear of breaking up the family. I told her that he has the right to know and that she was being a bad sister by knowing and not telling him. I also informed her if he found out she knew and didn't say anything that he would most likely kick her out of his life. She made me swear I wouldn't tell him. Even though I thought it was wrong I did agree to not say anything. It did get me wondering how she could not only not tell him but stay friends with someone that could do that to her brother. I think that's when I started to question her morals. The third month she asked that I didn't come out because she was "sick". I told her I didn't care, I could still come out and take care of her. She convinced me that she didn't want me to come so I just worked on the farm instead. I switched weekends so I could come out the next instead of in two weekends. The weekend she was "sick" her phone was off the whole time, lasting into the week. She told me her phone went through the washing machine. She was actually on a bender but I didn't learn that till later.
So I head out the following weekend. As soon as I arrive I start getting super sketchy vibes. I was already weirded out about the stuff with her brother and ghosting me for 4 days as we talked/texted multiple times a day normally. At first she acts great to me, cooks me steak and we go out to the bush to have a fire in the snow. At the fire she really started drinking heavily. She then mentions a guy she had been hanging with lets call him Brad. So alarm bells start going through my head. We go back to her house and she keeps drinking. I wanted to keep a clear head so I only had three beers all evening. She put her phone down unlocked because of how drunk she was and I took it to the bathroom with me to look up texts between them. I felt so guilty for doing it at first but once I see the text between the two of them the guilt is replaced with rage. I go to her room to confront her and she breaks down. First, how dare I go through her phone, this never would have happened if I would have broken my promise to my dad, nothing really happened between them, blah, blah, blah. I was furious and drove off. She blows up my phone the whole time. I don't answer. Ten minutes after I left her mother called me. She lives at her moms house. I took the call and her mom said she is freaking out and has harmed herself. I decide to go back and she has a bandage wrapped around her arm. Her mom hid all the sharp objects she could find. She was having a full on panic attack and begs me to not leave. I told her I would stay if she told me the truth. She admits to hooking up with him one time just that last weekend when she asked me not to come out. It kind of matches the messages and I believe her. I stay there till she falls asleep. Once she does I send Brad a text saying that she has a boyfriend with some screen shots of our conversations me and her have had that week. I was about to drive back to the farm when the dude called her phone. I pick up the call and tell him I am her boyfriend. He asks if that was a joke and I assure him it is not. He said he didn't know and actually apologized. I tell him that I'm pissed but if he didn't know I couldn't blame him. I should have asked him more questions but I was tired, not thinking straight and just wanted to go back to the Farm even though it was two am by this point. I get home and crash. Turned my ringer off because I know once she wakes up she will start calling like crazy. After getting the horses in for the night I decided to look at my phone for the first time all day. Around thirty missed calls and a ton of texts. I decide I need another day before I talk to her. Now while the whole day all I can think about is that it was just one time, she seems to be genuinely remorseful about it, how I'm 39 and really want children before I get too old. I took a call from her the next day on Sunday in the morning. She is still wasted. She hadn't stopped drinking since I was there Friday. We talk and I tell her that I am really upset but am willing to give us another chance. I still was in love with her and wanted to have kids, get married and buy a house with her. It was the dream I felt I worked so hard for. She was so happy I took her back and swore to me nothing like this would ever happen again. Basically I was a fool lol.
So I decided on my next set of days off to borrow my stepdads summer home on the river so we can have the place to ourselves. I grab food that she loves so I can cook her dinner and try to make it very romantic. I want to rekindle my love with her so I wanted to go all out on an amazing weekend. I pick her up and she is already a little drunk. I kind of wanted to hang sober but I don't wanna mess up with her so don't say anything thinking we can do a sober day when I take her out to go shopping and dinner the next day. When we get there she gets hammered. Kali had brought a big of bottle fireball on top of a bunch of white claws. I again didn't really drink that night. Once she was drunk and tired I carried her to the bed. As Kali is in my arms she looks up at me and says in slurred words "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Joe" I ask "what did you just say?". "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Brad" she replied. I put her to bed and my mind starts racing. Now her ex before me has a really close name to the one she said first but I also know she has a friend named Joe I only met a couple of times. They were not close or even hung out but were more like acquaintances. I go in her purse to look at her phone again but the battery is dead and I can't find her charger. I have an Iphone so I can't charge it up to look. I didn't sleep that well that night with everything going on in my head. I woke up at 6 am to her being very loud on the phone. I went out to the living room and she had drank all the booze left over from the night before. I ask her who she was on the phone with and she tells me an uber to leave. I ask why is she going to leave? Kali tells me she is upset that I tried to get into her phone. Guess I didn't put it back in her purse. Must have been out of sorts and forgot. I tell her I can drive her once I go to the washroom and get some clothes on. I go to do that, come out of the washroom to see Kali has already left. She was so drunk that she had left half her stuff behind. I decided to have breakfast before bringing her stuff to her house. After breakfast I packed her stuff into my SUV and noticed it had snowed that night. I could see her footprints out into the driveway. While Dropping off her stuff I noticed there were no footprints leading to her house, so I tried calling Kali. No answer. I left her stuff in the snow and decided to drive by her brothers and sisters house to see if there were footprints going into any of their houses but there were none. I sent her a nasty text about knowing she didn't go home, to go be with Brad or Joe or whoever and never call me again. It was a lot more profane than that but that's the gist of it. Cleaned up the house my stepdad lent me and back off to the farm yet again. The next day she blows up my phone and again I wait another day to talk to her. She tells me that she went home but I know that can't be true from the snow, but she says I must have been mistaken. She apologizes for getting drunk and leavening and that she is going to stop drinking after her birthday in two weeks. She has rented a hotel in the town I'm in for her birthday and wants to spend it with me. I agree just because I have to know the truth and want to look at her phone to make sure I am not crazy. She had gaslit me to the point I was questioning what I saw with my own eyes. A couple of days later I decided to send Joe a message on Facebook to see if he would give me the truth. I get a text from her telling me not to bug her friend and that she is embarrassed. I apologize and tell her I am excited about her birthday soon.
The weekend of her birthday comes so I go to meet her at the hotel. She brought her sister and other friend along. It actually is a really fun time. The girls did coke the first night into the second evening. I don't really like it but I figured she can let loose especially if she is going to stop drinking after her birthday. I also knew by Saturday night that they would all crash hard so it would give me time to look at her phone so I could know the truth. As I mentioned the weekend was really fun so I felt bad about going into her phone yet again. I did it anyway and my whole world came crashing down. Now I figured that I would maybe see Brad or Joe texts and Facebook messages. Seemed like Brad was done but Joe and her were totally hooking up. I also found out that she had slept with 3 other guys. I also saw she was using coke all the time now. She did it maybe three times a year when we dated but now it was every weekend. It looked like she started using regularly right before I left for the farm. Joe helped get it for her too, out of all the guys he was the one she hung with the most. Turns out he was also a meth head who was trying to quit for her. She also went to his house the morning she left the other weekend to hook up and buy coke. I was floored. I just staired and took screen shots till the early morning. I decided I wasn't just going to dump her but I wanted to ruin her life not realizing she was already doing that all by herself but hindsight is 20 20. So I started coming up with a plan of what I was going to do. I woke up the next morning and acted like everything was fine and went back to the farm. I was still so upset and didn't want to harm myself or others so had a family friend take my firearms for a while. I don't think I would have used them on myself or others but I knew I wasn't thinking clearly and didn't want them in my house while I was like that.
I didn't have to see her till I moved back because the next set I had off I had tickets for a concert in the city I used to live in. During that time all I thought about was how I was going to do something to ruin her life. I came up with some small things but my main plan was to pretend like we were fine and ghost her when my contract was up with my boss next winter. I had promised him another year after kali and I had gotten back together. Just typing it out makes me look back and cringe that I was so crazy. When I went to the city for the concert I told my best friend, my brother and a few others my plan. No one liked it and thought I should just go no contact, cut her straight out of my life. That probably was the smart thing to do but emotion was clouding my judgement. Also you all would get this story. They even informed me that because I would be lying to her, that I would be compromising my morals and turning into a worse person they didn't recognize. I either didn't see it that way or care. I have a hard time recalling what my brain was thinking during that time. All seems like a haze now that it's been a year. I think I was really upset that my dream and all I had worked for was ruined. A friend later said I may have been in love with the dream and not her. Maybe that's the reason I kept up all this insanity.
My time on the farm had come to an end and I was moving back to the town me and my ex lived in. I was set with my plan, excited to implement it and have what I considered just. But you know what they say of the best laid plans. My ex wanted to go to hang at her brothers as a welcome home party. I went but ended up drinking. Heavily drinking, to the point of black out. I don't remember much from that night but have had it recounted for me. I woke up in the drunk tank. Guess I couldn't lie and play it cool then huh? The story I was told later is, while at her brothers I had gotten drunk and loud. Kept waking up the new baby and we were asked to leave. So we caught a cab and I confronted her in the cab but all I could do was call her a lying, cheating, whore on repeat. She got upset and ran into the house locking me out. I had a bunch of my stuff in her house so I went to the door and demanded she let me in. All the while still only referring to her as the aforementioned 3 words. She told me to leave but my jacket and wallet were inside. It was below freezing at night still and probably wouldn't have made it home in the state I was in. I then kicked in her door to keep calling her LCW and grab my stuff. She was on the phone to the police, so I was taken away by them. One of the lowest points in my life. It still brings me so much shame to this day but it is what happened and I am not going to sugar coat it. I never laid a finger on her and I am so happy that I hadn't. Laying hands on women in that way is one of the scummiest things a man can do. I had to go back to her house once they let me out because my stuff was still there. I apologized to her mom who had been at her boyfriends that evening promising to repair the door for her. Kali begged me to talk to her and like an idiot I didn't just leave. I told her I saw everything and she only admitted to Brad and Joe. Lying about them and the others the whole time. Even when I brought up the screen shots she still couldn't come clean. I left just shaking my head. There is still a ton to this story but this is long enough. I could do a part 2 if there is interest. Catching you folks up to where I am now and the messed up things that happened in between.

I'll condense the situation as best as I can.
Me and her were together for 5 years. We lived together most of that time moving in with eachother at about a year in.
Things were amazing for so long I realized I didn't want to spend my life without her so I proposed about 11 months ago. She said yes we were both very happy with the situation. As far as I knew.
Around 6 months ago things started to feel off. She fell asleep on her phone one night I went to put it on the charger and take off her glasses when I noticed snapchats from guys I didn't know.
I saw compliments going both ways and flirty behavior and messages. I confronted her about them that night. She got angry with me for it and promised we'd talk in the morning. She ended up blowing it off saying she didn't know he was flirting. Blocked him and said that was the end of it.
A week goes by I still am worried but she assures me it was done. I end up seeing worse things on her phone.
She grew more distant started going out to clubs more. Spending less time on us. Getting mad at me and blaming for starting fights about the topic.
It got worse it turned into pictures and more lies. She'd tell me she'd change and it would never happen again and I kept believing it cause I wanted it so badly to be true. Things got worse.
5 months of lies and I finally couldn't take it anymore. I got tired of sharing my fears and concerns to her about it because she never changed or did anything to stop it or truly comfort me or be a partner like we were for so long.
There was a lot of bad times. She manipulated me. Made me out to the problem. Lashed out at me when I had a shred of doubt in her words or actions.
She ended up talking sending explicit pictures to my uncle. Co workers. Many different people in my small town and surrounding areas.
I finally realized I couldn't trust her. I finally ended it all for good after the 10th or so time she told me she had changed and wanted her life back.
Now I am single. She is living with the first guy she cheated on me with. I just saw them together today at Walmart on her lunch break when I just went there for some groceries.
I'm lost. After being gaslight and manipulated for so long, being lied to and never knowing the truth has taken it's toll on me. I don't know how to move forward with my life. I said what I needed to say to her. Though I know I will never get the answers from her I still crave contact with her but I know it will just end up getting me hurt.
Nonstop lies, manipulation and living with who I now know to be a narcissist has left me rattled, lost, scared, and confused.
Any advice or insight would be appreciated. Maybe just someone who's went through something similar to share the finer details of the situation with would be much appreciated.
Haven't posted much on here. Any big questions or things I may have left out I can answer in DMS or in the comments.

Yes, it’s exactly what you read in the title. I think I have feelings for guy I haven’t met in person. So, a few years ago, I matched with a guy on Tinder. He and I have been messaging each other for a few years on Snapchat until recently. He and I have each other’s social medias, but not one another’s phone numbers.
He and I are close in age,early twenties, and from the same state. He goes to a college a few states away, so we’ve never met in person or when he was back in the same state. In the beginning of the messaging, he and I were consistent with the back and forth. There was flirting, jokes,etc.There were some points where I was more into him and he was more into me, it seemed we were never on the same page. We shared deep personal conversations and light hearted funny conversations. I think he’s really handsome, funny, intelligent, and geeky. And so much more. When I realized my feelings were strong, I tried to make the first move and invite him to my birthday celebration, he respectfully declined and explained that he wouldn’t be able to make it . He had a valid reason, he’s extremely bright(Physics Major, like Math, but Rocket Science) and got into a lab in another state for the summer, great opportunity, so I was very happy for him.
I tried to keep conversations after the fact, but it seems like I just wasn’t clicking with him like I was before. Seems like I was forcing it, and it was very one-sided on my behalf. Having feelings for somebody and having them on all your social media isn’t fun seeing them have fun and just seeing them accomplished things it truly truly makes it harder to keep my feelings to myself. I’m happy for him, but it hurts because I want to be a person that he shares this with.
Me, being states away didn’t help anything it’s not like I would be able to see him or if we pushed the boundary into being something more it would work necessarily. I had hoped though after starting more conversations, yet getting the same results of it feeling like I was bothering him, I kinda just took a break from social media. It’s been roughly 2 months since we’ve spoken. To be honest with you, I think he just forgot about me. Understandably he went to a college that was hours away. He had his friends there. I think his final year of college was this year. He probably even graduated. Which means he’s coming back to our state, his birthday is coming up and I want to spark up conversation by telling him “Happy Birthday” and maybe confessing my feelings to him. If I can’t work up the confidence to confess my feelings, I think I should start by offering my number and seeing where it goes from there? Hopefully, meeting him in person!
He’s a great guy and if being his friend is all I’ll ever be. I’m OK with that. I like having him in my life. He talked me through a lot of things and hopefully it’s the same for him. Any advice?

Hello all!!
Feeling pretty lonely lately and I'd love to make new friends but I'm really struggling finding ways to do so. If anyone here would like to chat please feel free to message me!
Little bit about me; - Majoring in Biology in college right now, passionate about animals and want to pursue Zookeeping! I volunteer in animal care at a local zoo! I love talking about animals and sharing the pictures I take of my zoo friends.

• Love music, movies, art, animals (ofc), goth & macabre stuff, horror, + lots more!
  
• I am LGBT in various ways, so please only message if you are supportive or part of the community :)
  

Would prefer folks around my age range, please nobody younger than 18 though!!
Look forward to meeting y'all!

Got all my alarms set to wake up early, I set the others because I love those times and numbers. I’ll obviously be checking the German market most all night at least till 1:00am west coast USA time. Which means four hour nap. And I love it!! Makes me feel good to look forward to waking up again. Been through some hellish shit lately and seeing just the tiny kitties bump and all the wonderful ape family memes has me excited to get up early and start my day. Love you all 🦍💚🦍🚀🚀
Edit I had a picture of my alarms set for 4:00am, 4:20am and 7:41am 🦍🌎🚀💦😂

Over the years, I have succesfully swapped postage stamps with other collectors around the world. However, I I've gotten frustrated by some of the "rules" that exist on some of the websites, or frustrated with some of the requests from fellow collectors after I've been matched with on the sites.
This time, I'm trying to setup a site that we can all use to swap stamps. However, you will have to post a picture of the stamps you want to swap so your fellow collectors can decide if they are interested. You don't need to swap 1:1 or by value, you can get creative in how you want to swap. Thus you might swap common stamps for a post card!
If you have stamps to swap: ________________________________

1. Create a post and upload a picture of the stamp. Set the post tag to "New Swap" (green)
2. Collectors will send you a message if they are interested in your stamps and can fulfill your swap request. Set the post tageto "Swap in Progress" (yellow)
3. Once both side agree, swap addresses and mail the stamps to each other.
4. Set the comment flair to "Closed swap" (red)

If you want to swap stamps: ________________________________

1. Browse through the new swap requests
2. If the stamps are of interest and you can fulfill the posters swap requests, message the poster with a photo of the stamp you have to swap
3. If you agree on the swap, them mail the stamps to each other

Sample New Post (swap request)
__________________________________
Description: 25 Used 1990s Stamps from Australia
Number of Stamps: 25
Type of Swap: by number
Stamps requests: 25 used stamps from any country, no CTO stamps
Location: USA
Swap Locations: Worldwide
Picture of stamps

I've known 35f(1) and 35f(2) since we were in high-school and 29NB since maybe 2019 (they have been dating 35f(2) for maybe 8ish years). We planned a friends trip to my parent's house on the other side of the US from us. They're well-to-do with an awesome desert home and they love my friends (they helped pay for all of us to come out) so I was really looking forward to having a great time with my pals. However, I started to notice some issues after one of them (35f(2)) snapped at me for putting her on the spot while trying to get her cookie she ordered back from my folks who didn't know it was her's.
They would walk off without me A LOT but always waited for eachother. They wanted to take pictures with eachother but not with me (pretty sure my mom was the only one who took pictures of me with them). Multiple times they stepped on my feet to create a conversation circle which basically pushed me away from them everytime. There were times when I'd try to join in on a joke and they all stopped laughing and got very quiet. Sometimes I did feel seen or included but it was maybe a third of the trip and I get the feeling they may have been talking about me behind my back since the way they were acting was so clique-ish when I was around.
They pointed out they were put-off by the fact I didn't get a to-go box for these tacos from this nice restaurant we visited in northern Mexico because they thought the waiter was upset I was being wasteful (somehow the tacos had no flavor and were weirdly chewy which made me nauseous but I genuinely tried to be polite about it). When I apologized to my friends for it, 35f(1) said "don't apologize to me, apologize to the waiter." (They believed the waiter may have been poor and this act made me seem entitled.) I'm sure there were other things about me that bothered them but they haven't said anything to me. I think I was also clearly more upset, irritable and sad as time went on as a result of their avoiding me which only made things worse.
In the past when I've confronted them about things, they minimize things and get upset/ mad with me for bringing up issues and sometimes will tell me it never happened the way I remember. I've traveled with both 35f(1 and 2) in the past and I know what it's like when things feel healthy and comfortable and this was not it.
I think an important thing to note here, too, is that I was pregnant and dealing with intense nausea during the trip so I couldn't always be around them but I obviously take 0 offense to them having a good time without me the few times I couldn't join...it's the times I was around that got to me. I also have reason to believe I may be on the spectrum though I've never been diagnosed. I guess I'm wondering how to navigate this with them? How to I approach them about this?
tl;dr- It felt as though my friends acted like they were in a clique without me while vacationing at my parent's place. How do I talk to them about it?
edit: fixed some paragraph issues to make this more legible

I usually keep to myself so thought I'd get out of my comfort zone where I'm usually brooding and see if I can find some mates I may be able to do it with. Anyways my name is Eren I'm born and raised in Australia in Victoria and have travelled a bit for work but would like to travel a bit more freely before I get old and see some more of the world. Also I don't mind the company male or female of anyone who messages since this is just going to be platonic anyways.
So some of the stuff I'm into are Gaming on pc, recently some of those things have been Helldivers 2, Darktide, Destiny, Cyberpunk and Monster hunter
I also enjoy drawing and do some rough sketches, anime, anything horror, philosophy and poetry so feel free to ask me your deeper questions. I also used to do HEMA sword fighting but work usually gets in the way of that.
Anyways I've left some hobbies out or left some vague so it could be a topic to talk about but if any of this sounds interesting then feel free to send a message and I'll be looking forward to having a chat.