How to get on youtube in school

I’m a SpEd teacher in NYC looking to move to a place that is somewhat more affordable. I have relatives in the area so I feel comfortable living in Austin since I’ve visited so many times. Plus I have my Texas state license I got on a whim. I would taking a hit in salary since I am at 10+ years of teaching in NYC with my masters. I’m single and getting killed in taxes here. And rent. Any advice? Would taking a chance and moving here to teach be worth it? How much of a difference in pay would I experience? Any AISD schools to AVOID?

Hi everyone, I'm wondering if anyone could help me with this.
I have 2 slim model ps3s, one that I use regularly, the other is one I owned years ago, then gave to my brother. My brother's one has some digital games and demos/themes/trophies/pictures/videos and saved data (for ps2 and 3 games) on it (all mine from years ago when I used to own it), and I want to get all of it transferred from his ps3 to mine.
I really don't know how to accomplish this, and from what I've seen online, it may not even be possible to transfer digital games/demos. I know I can plug in a usb stick and transfer things off like photos/videos (which I haven't done yet), but I don't know how to transfer themes/trophies/saved game data/game data etc.
I definitely don't want to brick/format either of the ps3's. I also don't want to jailbreak either of them if possible.
Many of the videos about this on Youtube are very old and I don't know if they're reliable anymore. But if you could direct me to a good one that would be helpful. Thank you.

In the Era of Fear I Comfort them with Great Love
Anita Moorjani was cured from cancer not because of a certain medicine, vaccine or chemotherapy. She was cured because of this Great Love. Anita Moorjani is a forty years old woman who is simple and honest. She was born in India, grew up in Singapore and was English educated. Later she went to Hong Kong. She knows Tamil, English and Cantonese. In 2002 the doctor said that she was down with cancer lymphoma or the blood cell tumor. After four years, in 2006 seventy percent of her body is covered with the cancerous cells. She stayed in the hospital, suffering terribly because of this illness. Later the doctor pronounced her death. After three days she woke up and was cured miraculously. This is truly inconceivable when she woke up from her death. In her mind she was very sure she was cured already. No treatment was needed. But she was very weak. She could not even talk. The doctor was surprised of her condition and again they carried out a checking on her body and found that she was free from all symptoms of cancer. In her mind she knew she was already cured. In her mind there was a great transformation that she personally experienced. And all the cells on her body were transformed into healthy cells. Later she wrote a book entitles: After dying once I finally learn to love’ By looking at this title, it coincides with Master Shan Dao’s teaching on the one with deep faith in the dharma. He said, ‘Standing here is waiting to die. Going forward is also death. Turning back, I too cannot escape from death.’ This can be found in the ‘Analogy of two rivers and one white lane’ the three sure deaths. If we have died once, we will truly give ourselves up. This is the same as the Pure Land teaching that we have to admit we are the sinful mundane man. We lose all hope as we have no ways to leave the triple realm. In cultivation we need to really undergo a total death in order to really practise the path. The zen cultivator says this is known as undergoing great death and great living. Otherwise, no real cultivation can be expected because most of us are very arrogant, very self-centred, without much changes in our stubborn mindset. That is why she said after dying once only she managed to learn how to love. In the Pure Land door this is known as having deep faith. Such a man will surely have faith in Amitabha’s 48 vows to gather in living beings without any doubts and suspicion. By relying on the strength of the Buddha’s Vows we will surely attain a rebirth. This is living in the great love of Namo Amitabha Buddha. We receive the love of Amitabha Buddha. Only then we can have the genuine love and we are able to learn to love. If we do not feel the love of Amitabha Buddha, we will not know how to love. Our love will be frightening as it is an attachment, a desire to control, to possess others. Such a love is impure, it is a threat to us. If we are not careful it might turn into hatred. Such is a frightful kind of love. If we learn from Amitabha Buddha, the love is pure, without condition and transparent. This is truly loving a person. It is not easy to learn this. We look at the couples around us. So many got married and end up in divorce. How about those who do not get a divorce? Yes, they spend the whole life fighting！The truly loving couples are as few as the stars in the broad day light. So, learning to love is our homework for the whole life. It is not easy. Today I would like to discuss this passage with you. After reading her writing I feel most shameful as what the author has said is very true in accord with her experience. Even though I have left home for more than twenty years, receiving the teaching of the Buddha, the guidance of the patriarch, the exhortation of my Master, the help of my lotus friends and all, I still feel I am lacking in genuine practice and virtues. On the contrary this lady has not met with the Buddha Dharma. She has such an awakening after dying once, it is truly a gain for her. She said, ‘After my body stopped functioning, I entered into another world.’ She was so seriously ill that her heart, her liver and everything stopped functioning. This is to show there is a world after death. She said, ‘I saw myself as a very wonderful person. This is because I was not terrorised until I had a change in shape.’ ‘I felt there was this vibrant energy around me and I was able to enter it. I realise if a man can see his wonderful existence, he must be the happiest man.’ Most of us like to complain about our imperfect existence. We often think thus, ‘I do not have enough money. I am not healthy. I am not pretty. I do not have enough clothing ….’ Here we must learn to see the good points in us, to appreciate the value of our existence. A woman who can say like this is truly very calm in mind. A man who always complains about himself will not be able to live happily each day. So, without knowing the love of Amitabha for us, we will be a great complainer. We complain about no money, we complain about our look, our wrinkles and so on and so forth. What kind of life will this be with so many complaints? She said, ‘I found that there was this power surrounding me.’ When we pass away, we will no longer be using our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind to observe. Instead, we will be awakened to our innate Buddha. She felt she is surrounded by this vibrant field of energy and she is also this energy. What kind of power is this? It is a kind of energy. It is always in the universe or the dharma realm in the Buddhist terms. In fact, this is Amitabha Buddha. This is the strength of the Buddha Nature. She uses her Buddha Nature to experience the Buddha Nature. It exists forever. It is neither born nor become extinct. If the Buddha enters the world or does not enter the world, it is always there without changing. Of course, she does not use these Buddhist terms. She said, ‘When I give up the attachment to the mundane world, I enter another world effortlessly. It is unnecessary to pray, to recite a sutra or to give a dharma talk. It is unnecessary to seek forgiveness, repentance or other methods.’ ‘Death gives me the feeling that I do not need to do anything. It is just as though I am telling someone I am coming to the end. I cannot do anything anymore. I give up. Whatever you want to do I will just accept.’ I feel that this passage is very near in meaning to the Pure Land’s view. It means when we die, we have just to let go as nothing can be done anymore. Most people die in torment as there are many attachments in this world. They are worried about their children, money and work. Some people find it difficult to die. So, from here we must learn to let go when it is our turn to leave the world. Moreover, we have the promise from Amitabha Buddha who will come to receive us in accord with the strength of his vows. It is much easier for us. This lady just let go and she entered another world. Her state should be quite high too. I will explain below. I feel that she had arrived at the border of the Pure Land. Her state of an awakened mind showed that she was not in the heaven. She seemed to be enlightened to the Buddha nature and non -existence of a self. She experienced the light of enlightenment and returned to life, to lead a life of love. So, in our practice we are told to let go of all attachment and to wish for a rebirth in the Pure Land relying on Amitabha’s strength of vows. So from here we can see it is very easy to be born in the World of Ultimate Bliss. She said it is unnecessary to recite a sutra, a dharma or seeking for forgiveness. She enters the other world naturally when she simply gives up herself. I remember once I went with my Master to console a dying man. I was very touched by my Master’s words. He said kindly to the man who is on the verge of death, ‘So and so, now we will recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. If you can recite, then recite together. If you can’t, just lay down and relax. It is ok if you just listen to our recitation.’ Are not these words very comforting? The dying man will feel very safe and relax. But if you were to say, ‘So and so, this is the last chance. Bring out all your strength to face death. If you can recite then recite together. If you cannot recite, you must try also!’ On listening to this threat, the sick man is stressed out. He will die instantly as he has no strength to join in recitation. The Master who with his great love understands the rescue of Amitabha Buddha is a natural process that he is able to say in such a comforting way. No condition is needed. There is no threat nor fright in his words. A man who threatens people is not calm as he must be frightened too in his mind. That is why what he says will frighten people, giving stress to others. If we are loving in our mind, our words will only bring love, peace and calm to others. People will feel our love for them. So, this lady says it is unnecessary to read or recite any prayer or seeking forgiveness. This is because the wavelength of her mind is on a par with the great love of the universe. She naturally enters it. Namo Amitabha Buddha is a dharma that requires no seeking or pleading. It is a dharma of rescue without condition. When we recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, the wavelength of our mind is the same as Amitabha Buddha. So, we will attain a rebirth naturally. Many of us who do not understand the kindness of Amitabha Buddha will seek a rebirth by pleading to the Buddha every day. His mind is unsettled and frightened that he might be left out. This is because he does not understand when he recites the Buddha’s name, the wavelength of his mind is in the same frequency with Amitabha Buddha’s mind and vows. Then people will ask, ‘Do we still go to recite the Buddha’s Name for the dying man?’ ‘Yes, of course.’ This is because the dying man has yet to understand this point. When we recite for him, he will be safe in the shine of Namo Amitabha Buddha. This is a method which is bestowed upon us to save us with this Name in accord with the strength of the Buddha’s vows. When she says to somebody, this refers to Amitabha Buddha. She says she cannot do anything anymore and she gives up. She gives herself up to the Buddha. So, when we die do not try to fight with death and refuse to die. We must just admit we are the offender and we need the help of Amitabha Buddha to take us, to rescue us. Namo is to admit we take refuge in the Buddha, we surrender ourselves. When we cultivate this door, we must not add in our ideas. We must just let Amitabha Buddha to decide for us. This is because Amitabha has the power of great vow, the extensive great strength of the Buddha Nature, the strength of immeasurable light, the strength of immeasurable lifespan. We just have to give up all planning. He will plan for us. So, when we recite the Name of the Buddha, just recite without thinking of doing this or that trying so hard to reach a certain acceptable standard. These are all unnecessary. This type of thinking is the habit of the sagely path cultivators. When we sit on the plane, just sit there. The plane will bring you to your destiny. It is unnecessary for you to help the plane to fly. Amitabha Buddha the pilot does not need you to fly the plane. If he needs your help then he is not known as Amitabha Buddha. Anita said, ‘In the other world, I found that my mind is very clear and bright. I realise by myself that I will only die out of the fear and terror in my mind.’ These words are very true. Clarity of mind means her mind is pure. In this world our mind is turbid, dark and deluded. That is why are enveloped in all kinds of worries and terror. But once we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally be pure and bright. This is because the land is pure and is enveloped in bright illumination. She said she naturally know she will be cured. This knowing ability is possessed by us originally. No learning is needed because our Buddha nature is originally pure and bright. In the Saha world our ability is being covered up by afflictions. But when we arrive at the World of Ultimate Bliss, we will naturally possess this ability. This ability reappears relying on the strength of Vows of Amitabha Buddha. When we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally possess the ability to make offerings to the Buddha. On hearing one sentence we are enlightened to the millions. Our mind is opened up to the thousands of million Dharanis. Everyone of us have this innate ability. And Amitabha Buddha’s strength of Vows enhances its opening. In this Saha World our innate nature is all covered up and cannot function. In the world of ultimate bliss, by relying on Amitabha Buddha’s strength of great vows, our innate ability is open up. So they are not contradicting. ‘I naturally know the source of the thought that I will die. The source is I was frightened. If there is no fear, there is no death.’ In actuality there is no death. It is only our fear of death that this illusion comes froth. In Buddha dharma we should know death itself is an illusion. Time is also an illusion. That is why the Buddha speaks all the Sutra in this manner, ‘Thus have I heard, at one time the Buddha was…..’ No specific time is stated. Now the physics has proven its illusory. As time is an illusion, it does not exist. Let me give you an example of what is meant by death. It is as if we are driving a car into a tunnel. The shape of the tunnel resembles that of a tomb. And we keep on driving into it. We say we are entering the tomb, that we are going to die soon. We are threatened as the entrance represents death. We continue on our journey in the tunnel and later leave the tunnel, again travelling on our way to another destiny. The entrance of the tunnel, the funeral wreath looks like the tomb. For us, death is a terrible idea that we are fearful of it. We do not know life is a continuity and there is no death. It is our wrong concept that there is this section of birth and death. No one can do anything about it until they personally realise it. ‘I am unable to live out my real self as I have too much worried.’ Most of us live in this world wearing a mask. If everyone of us is free to show our real self this is the most beautiful side of a self. Why cannot we live the way we should live? It is because we are always burdened with worries. We are worried we are not good enough. We are worried that our parents will scold us. We are worried our teacher will get angry and criticize us. We are worried about losing face. We only live for others. We lose our life away trying to accord to others’ expectation. We lose the light of a happy life. Our life is controlled by all these worrisome thoughts. But if we truly recite the Buddha’s Name, our mind will be at ease. Amitabha Buddha takes away our worries by replacing them with Namo Amitabha Buddha. We will realise all these worries and views are not important and we will gradually pay no attention to them. Our true life is Buddha recitation. That is our real identity. Our mind will be at ease as we will pay no attention to those unreal things, words and ideas. Our worries only arise when we care too much about the mundane matters. The author has not learnt about Buddhism. This is her experience in death. What she has written is very personal, true experience, not something that we learn from a book. Her experience gives her an awakening to the reality of life and she lives out her life in this awakening. I saw her video and I feel she is an enlightened person. An enlightened person may not be replete with spiritual penetration. But she will reveal her love in her daily living. She is calm at ease and without any sense of fear in her mind. She leads her life in a genuine way. She said, ‘I know that cancer is not a punishment neither is it a retribution. Cancer is my energy capacity which reveals itself on my body. Because of my fear I am unable to reveal the beautiful self in me. And this is the job which should be carried out by me. I know that cancer is not a punishment which is forced on me. It is not an external force of retribution.’ This is what we often do when certain things happen, we will try to find an excuse or put the blame on reward or retribution. We treat the misfortune with anger and hatred. We often have this tendency to catogorise every happening in accord with the cause or reason. In Buddhism we talk about cause and effect. As she is not a Buddhist she says, ‘Cancer appears as a result of a change in my energy capacity. This energy shows itself in the form of cancer.’ This is because she lives in fear and worries. She does not live out her real happy self. So if we the Buddha recitation cultivators are able to reveal the bright side of life, to live without worries, there will be no more cancer for us. This is her understanding about life. That is why I have often said, ‘Lead a life of a mundane man and recite the Buddha’s Name sincerely.’ We should lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Our life will be full of light and blessings. And we will become more loving. Finally we will lead a comfortable life and people around us will be comfortable also. This itself is the propagation of the dharma of love. Otherwise, if we cannot live a loving life, there is no point talking about anything as they will be useless. Anita said, ‘In that state which is vast and limitless, I found that I am too strict with myself. I keep on whipping myself.’ Can we feel the existence of being vast and limitless? No. We are often limited by our surrounding. As she had entered the limitless vastness, she is able to know her whole life. She knows her fault is being too strict with herself. In fact, most of us are very strict with ourselves, demanding ourselves to be like this or that. She said, ‘No one is punishing me. The person whom I cannot forgive is I myself. I have abandoned myself. I do not love myself. This matter is none of others’ business.’ No one from outside comes to punish us. It is we who punish ourselves. We cannot forgive our selves. We add on a lot of unnecessary locks and chains on ourselves. What is more for us the Buddha reciters? If we recite the Buddha’s name and on the other hand, we add on ourselves lots of locks and chains whence Amitabha Buddha is trying to unlock us, isn’t this a most pitiful situation?’ She said that she had abandoned herself. It means we throw ourselves away and become a lone ranger, an isolated person living a life of sadness, a live without love. Look at a baby. Her eyes are clear as the baby is a simple being, just like a simple puppies or baby cat. The baby can play with chickens, puppis as she does not give rise to diffentiation. Not everyone of us is like Anita. But every one of us can recite the Buddha’s name. When we recite the Buddha’s name, we will be calm. Amitabha Buddha said, ‘In the world of fear I comfort them with great love.’ It is because all the worries are gone when we accomplish Buddhahood at the Pure Land. We will not be so worried about our poverty, health problem, ugliness, stupidity, inability to recite a sutra, a mantra. All these are unimportant as finally I will become a Buddha in the Buddha Land. We will be more humorous. For example, if we are ugly we will use it as a joke. It does not matter at all. Because all the external states are not you. The real self, our real life is the Buddha’s Name. It is our true identity. It will bring ease to our mind. A baby is pure. But as it grows up, it starts to abandon himself. A baby resembles a glass of pure water. When he grows up, his greed starts to accumulate when he wants a toy, a book, good results, money, benefits, fame women and so on. All these are placed in the glass of water. Everything is a piece of mud that we put in out glass. The more we put into the glass, the more the water will flow out. This water is the genuine self. We abandon the true self, chase it out with our greed. We fill ourselves with all the rubbish. The genuine blessings and bliss are chased away. We lead an opaque life without transparency. Our life become a glass of muddy water and we live in great torment. The more we obtain, the more we lose ourselves. That is why the Buddha is truly kind. He and his disciples lead a life of a beggar. When you have nothing, you will be happy and relax. The mind retains its purity. Human beings are deluded as they think to possess a wife, children, a house, a car are called blessings. A man who truly loves himself does not love money, sex, fame, food, sleep. These five desires are the knives that will cut us into pieces and bring on great sufferings. Anita said, ‘I realise I am the child of the beautiful universe. As long as I exist, I will obtain this unconditional love.’ This is very good. I would like to make the following changes, ‘I realize that I am the son of the adorned Amitabha Buddha.’ In Buddhism we use adorned to replace the word beautiful. The universe is this Amitabha Buddha. In the Sutra we are told Amitabha Buddha is the Treasury Body of the Dharma Realm. Amitabha Buddha exists in the whole of the Dharma Realm. Of course, there are also the reward body and transformation bodies beside the dharma body. Amitabha Buddha is the immeasurable wisdom and lifespan. Anita says that the universal energy is abundant and inexhaustible, vast and without limits. This is the existence of the Buddha Nature. She says as long as she exists, she will surely obtain the unconditional love. I often also say, ‘No conditions are required for us to receive the love and rescue of Amitabha Buddha.’ Let us take the analogy of a tree. As long as it exists, it will receive the sunlight. No other condition is needed. So it is the same for the house and everything on earth. Amitabha Buddha’s Name is also known as the Light that Far-surpassing the Sun and Moon. Amitabha Buddha’s light pervasively illumines all the living beings and things in the world. As long as we exist, we will receive the light of the Buddha, the protection of his loving kindness and rescue. It is unnecessary for us to become somebody so as to receive the unconditional rescue of Amitabha Buddha. Our Master Hui Jing also wrote a book on the ‘Unconditional Rescue of the Buddha.’ Some people cannot believe. He says, ‘If this is the case everyone will commit evils.’ Such a thinking is negative and full of fear as his mind is dwelling in darkness. He is afraid that the world will go upside down. He cannot understand that as long as there is the existence, may they be a cat, a dog, a hell being, they will be taken care of by Amitabha Buddha. The only condition is they exist. This reminds me of the words of Great Master Tan Luan, ‘The future scholars who hear about the rescue of the Buddha, the rescue that relies on other’s strength, he should give rise to faith. Do not refuse such a chance. It is being stupid.’ Do not think that you should do this and that to obtain the rescue? Amitabha Buddha did not ask you to do anything. He says, ‘Living beings in the ten directions who have faith in me.’ It means they exist and the Buddha will be there to save them. Buddha recitation is not a condition. It is just a method of saving. Anita says, ‘I do not have to do anything to obtain this love.’ Just like a blade of grass in the water. Does it need to do anything to obtain water? It is unnecessary. As long as it exists, it is surrounded by the water. As long as we exist, we are surrounded by the love of Amitabha Buddha. We do not need to do anything to obtain this love and care. Once we know this, we will be fearless and calm at ease. This is the same as the sunlight which shine on the mountain and also the valley. In our life no matter what level we are we will receive the illumination of Amitabha Buddha. Anita says, ‘No prayer, no seeking is needed.’ Amitabha’s rescue is there always. As long as we recite, we will be saved by him. Amitabha Buddha says, ‘All living beings in the ten directions who call on me will be saved by me. You only have to say out my name.’ You say you are dumb and cannot call the name. Such a man who understands the rescue of Buddha will also be saved even if he cannot pronounce the Name. But if you are unwilling, you are creating an obstacle for yourself. That is why our dharma door is known as the ‘The Dharma is taught without being asked.’, the ‘Befriend us without being asked’. As long as we trust him, he will come personally to take us to his Pure Land. On hearing that nothing is needed to be done, some will be confused. They want to do something, to clean the altar, to change the water, to offer some fruits and incense, to sit in meditation and so on. They think this will help them to attain a rebirth. They have to do something. They do not realise what they need to do is to reveal the beautiful self, to lead the adorned life and let themselves become the love. As long as we sit there and lead a loving life we are in accord with the love of the Buddha Amitabha. When the sun is shining, you say, ‘It is good. A shiny day.’ When it is raining, you say, ‘Very good. It is raining now.’ When it snows, you say, ‘Good, I love snow.’ This way of living is to add the positive loving energy to this universe. You are spreading the pure and harmony energy to the universe. In the Buddha Dharma it is known as the lights shine on one another. The whole universe will receive the positive energy of your loving and harmonious mind. So, what you need to do is to recite Namo Amitabha Budda loudly, softly, silently. All will be ok. If we live this way, Amitabha Buddha will be most happy to see us. It is just like a child who is sleeping in the cradle. Doing nothing. What do you think? Will the mother be happy to see him like that? Yes, of course. She will be very glad with him just sleeping there. Nothing has to be done. A child in the arms of his mother is the revelation of total trust. And this is the same for us to be in the arms of Amitabha Buddha. We just relax and trust him. We will lead a happy life. And this is the genuine way of living in accord with the love of oneself. More often than not we lead a life with worries, fear, twisted emotions and trying to cover up our faults. Our adorned life cannot be revealed. Everyday, we live in fear and worries. This is adding chains and locks to ourselves. Anita says, ‘I have never truly loved myself before. I have never valued my existence. I have never seen the adorned soul in me.’ She uses soul to describe herself. In the Buddha Dharma this refers to the beauty and adorned Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I am so beautiful yet I have never realised it. It is replaced with the hard facts of mundane existence. I decay because I do not understand my beautiful soul.’ In the Buddha Dharma it is described as all living beings are originally the Buddha. Yet we do not live, in accord with our Buddha Nature. We are often controlled by our mundane existence, the salary, the examination results and such like. We forget of our Buddha Nature. We lead a life of decay, a life of erosion. This is the General path of Buddhism. From the angle of Buddha Recitation, the rescue of Amitabha is always with us, only that we do not realise it. We try all kinds of methods hoping for the Buddha to rescue us. We do not know that we just have to admit we are the mundane men who are covered with offences. There is no other way to save ourselves if we do not rely on Amitabha Buddha. Then we let go and recite the Buddha’s Name wholeheartedly. This is the way to be saved by the Buddha. But most people cannot understand this. They want to do something good, to be pretentious and make out something good of himself, to scold people for their lacking in virtues and such like. This is against the practise of this pure land door. Why cannot the people in the world see their pretention? It is because they are also not living a true life. Their eyes are not clear enough to see through this pretention. A fake man sees something fake and he will treat it as genuine. A clear -headed man will surely be able to see through all these false masks. If we were to wear a false mask for too long it will be difficult to remove it. It has grown on to our skin. It will be painful if we want to remove this fake mask. So it takes time for us to loosen this false mask as we have been wearing them for too long. Anita says, ‘This understanding makes me realise that I do not have to be frightened anymore.’ There is no more fear in her mind. It is a mind of calm and bliss. It is a mind which is full of hope. It is a comforting mind that can soothe others. With this calm and happy mind it is already a contribution to all around us. It is already a protection and mindfulness to all around us. We do not have to do anything at all. Most of us live in fear. We pay for insurance because we are afraid when we get old, we have no money, no money to pay the medical fees. We get married out of fear that we will be lonely. Why do we give birth to children? We are afraid no one will take care of us at old age. Why do we go to school? It is because we are afraid of our mother’s anger. Why must we study hard? We are afraid of our teacher. Why do we go to university? We are afraid people will look down on us. Can we live without fear? We cannot. Even our mother who loves us so much say we will suffer if we do not study hard. From our young age we receive the education of fear. We are threatened by our beloved parents, our responsible teachers. We do not receive the education of love. So, if we love our children, do not add fear to them. We must give only love and courage so that they can face life with their original positive energy, positive strength. This is because the world is full of twisted people, fake people, suffering people. There are very few upright men, genuine men, happy and hopeful men around. I only hope all of you my lotus friends will bring up a future generation who is upright, genuine, happy and hopeful with the strength of Amitabha Buddha. So, we must lead a life based on the right values taught by Amitabha Buddha. If we teach our child to fight for self -benefit, to contend with others, we are making them blind so that they do not see the truth of life. This is harming them. If we are enlightened to this, we will only rely on Amitabha Buddha. We are not afraid to be lonely. We will be at ease. Those who see the light, the warmth of the Buddha will no longer be frightened. Anita says, ‘I realise this is a state that can be reached by myself and everyone.’ In Zen sect it is said all living beings are Buddha. In the Buddha recitation door, everyone can recite the Name, everyone can attain a rebirth and everyone can accomplish Buddhahood. This is the bestowment by Amitabha Buddha. All the things that we fight for may not be beneficial to us. Everything that benefits us are often free. For example, the air we take in every instant is free. We do not pay to stand on the earth. We do not pay to look at the sky above. Whatever we fight and earn to get are valueless. Everything that is valuable is free. In the general practice it is said, ‘No cultivation is the cultivation. Nothing is obtainable. This is the state of a bodhisattva. The original face of all dharma often dwells in the mark of still extinction. Our Buddha Nature is replete with all merits and virtues. We cannot cultivate anything to enhance it. This is because all the things that we can do are only dreams, illusion, bubbles and shadow. Whatever that we do, that we create are not in accord with our Buddha Nature. The Buddha Nature is always there, original and shining out naturally. And in our Pure Land Dharma, whatever we have offered, whatever we have done are not the causes for our attainment of a rebirth. Attaining a rebirth is the state of nothing doing. It stays apart from creation or doing. It is a natural state. Reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha helps us to return to this state. Anita said, ‘So I decided to return to the mundane world.’ She has enlightened to the opportunity of life and she decided to come back to tell us about life. Just like many Pure Land cultivators who say that they will not come back any more to sufferings. Yet when they arrive at the Pure Land and brings forth the Bodhi mind, they will come back by themselves to help other beings. Anita said, ‘When I was on the verge of death, I realised the universe comes forth from unconditional love. I am one of the revelations of this love in my present form.’ For the scientists they will say the universe is made from electron, protons, neutrons and so on. This is talking only at the surface level, the materials. But as she talked from her true experienc,e she can see all the things, all the people are the expression of this universal love. When she comes back from death, she deeply penetrates the genuine love the mother universe and her wavelength is in accord with the universal love. She comes back as a healthy woman. So once there is a change in our mind set, the body, the people and the surroundings will also change. In the eyes of Buddha and Bodhisattva there is no differentiation of filth and purity. Everything is pure and adorned in its own expression. Every one of us is the art piece of this unconditional love or in the Buddha’s words, the Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I cannot change into another form as it is my original expression, original nature of this unconditional love.’ Everything that exists is the expression of the Buddha Nature. Even something which is defiled or unwholesome is also part of the expression of this unconditional everlasting love. That is why the Buddha says, ‘All the Dharma from the original state dwells constantly in still extinction.’ Still extinction refers to Nirvana the state of the Buddha. So, when we recite the Buddha’s Name we will enter the Buddha’s dwelling. ‘The energy capacity of the strength of life forms derives from love. And I am made from the universal energy capacity. On knowing this, I realise I do not need to become somebody else. And my true value will not be depreciated too.’ Anita said, So, it is unnecessary for us to become another man. A business man does not need to become Jack Ma. Why is this so? It is because you are equal to him. He is not higher than you. He has the Buddha Nature and you also have the Buddha Nature. Every one is equal. So we do not need to measure in terms of money especially if we truly know the benefits of Buddha recitation. In the eyes of the Buddha every one of us is a shining star. We do not need to chase after another star. Just imagine the havoc it will be when the stars do not dwell in its orbit and try to chase after another star. What a chaos the universe will become. Everyone of our existence is in perfect conditions in the eyes of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘This is the I that I have always wanted to be.’ she said. We must learn to appreciate ourselves, accept ourselves and love ourselves. This ‘I’ is invaluable under the unconditional love of the Rescue of Amitabha Buddha. We are his precious sons, the pearls on his hand. If we are accepted by the Buddha, we will be so happy as we will have no complaint about ourselves. We are often surrounded by people who keep on complaining about us. The first one is our mother who says that we are not clever, we have low marks. We are not filial. We earn too little. See how our mother teaches us not to appreciate ourselves. Then we are blamed by our teacher, our classmates, our girl -friend and so on. Then comes Amitabha Buddha who studies us and says, ‘Put aside all the complaints. You are qualified to attain Buddhahood. No problem at all. I give you 100 percent.’ That is why we Buddha Recitation Practitioners are always at ease under the shine of Amitabha Buddha who give us the confirmation. This is the greatest benefits the Buddha bestows upon us. Buddhism brings hope and bliss to the world, the universe. So, in this life’s time we must try our best to lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Do not be swayed by the mundane values, mundane eyes, mundane perspective. We rely only on the outlook of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘Once we know that we are this love, it is unnecessary to purposely go forth to shower love on others. As long as we are faithful to our original nature, we will automatically become the tools of love, touching the hearts of everyone who have affinity with us.’ This part of her speech is very good. If we are already the lamp, there is no need for us to go out purposely to shine on others. The lamp just stands at its place and it manages to brighten up the place. So, when we are the LOVE, we will naturally touch those around us with our love. Take a look at our Master Hui Jing. He sits there quietly and yet every one of us are calm and happy naturally. So when we become the love, wherever we are, all will feel calm at ease, without any fear. Anita said, ‘The most important thing I have learnt is I am the Love itself. All my fears are gone. This is the reason I come into life again.’ Amitabha Buddha said, ‘I will transform all the fear into great calmness, great serenity’ When We recite His Name we are charged with his love. We also become the love. We will leave behind all fear. ‘My dear, you will always be loved. You do not need to harbour any fear. There is no way for you to commit any errors.’ Always think about these three sentences. There is the light of truth in it. This is spoken by a non -Buddhist who was on the verge of her death and who lives again. How about us the Buddha Recitation Practitioners? Can we deny the love of Amitabha Buddha, His unconditional love of rescue? From this story we know the unconditional love of rescue of the Buddha pervasively surrounds us. We must have faith in this and lead a life of joy with no more fear. Nowadays, everyone lives in fear. We must learn to replete ourselves with love and bring this shine to others, to lead them out of fear. Love yourself and love others. Namo Amitabha Buddha. A dharma talk by Dharma Master Shi Jing Zong, the Abbot of the Hong Yuan Monastery in Anhui, China entitled: Dying Once to Learn to Love

I was a mess during my entire high school life. My priorities are way off and I'm very undisciplined. I'm always lallygagging and extremely nonchalant about everything.
This all started from my elementary years where I got way too lucky that it became detrimental. I was a very consistent honor student, not at the top but still consistently in the honors. Not to brag but school was way too easy for me. It was so easy that I could easily get high marks on exams without doing anything.
That in turn made me extremely lazy and never put in the effort. During exam weeks and such, I would just sleep all day, read books (like Narnia or something, not academic stuff), play videogames, etc. I just wasted my time since I was way too confident that everything will work out anyway, and it always did big time.
Everything fell apart once I got into high school. The curriculum finally became hard and challenging but by then my minimum effort approach was already hard coded within me and I was lost. The demand to actually work without dumb luck was very apparent and I wasn't able to keep up. It was made even worse with the fact that I also lacked positive role models during that time and got bullied a lot.
It's clear that I have potential. A lot of people see it and if I can already accomplish things without trying, how much more when I actually discipline myself and put in the effort?

I was a mess during my entire high school life. My priorities are way off and I'm very undisciplined. I'm always lallygagging and extremely nonchalant about everything.
This all started from my elementary years where I got way too lucky that it became detrimental. I was a very consistent honor student, not at the top but still consistently in the honors. Not to brag but school was way too easy for me. It was so easy that I could easily get high marks on exams without doing anything.
That in turn made me extremely lazy and never put in the effort. During exam weeks and such, I would just sleep all day, read books (like Narnia or something, not academic stuff), play videogames, etc. I just wasted my time since I was way too confident that everything will work out anyway, and it always did big time.
Everything fell apart once I got into high school. The curriculum finally became hard and challenging but by then my minimum effort approach was already hard coded within me and I was lost. The demand to actually work without dumb luck was very apparent and I wasn't able to keep up. It was made even worse with the fact that I also lacked positive role models during that time and got bullied a lot.
It's clear that I have potential. A lot of people see it and if I can already accomplish things without trying, how much more when I actually discipline myself and put in the effort?

I was a mess during my entire high school life. My priorities are way off and I'm very undisciplined. I'm always lallygagging and extremely nonchalant about everything.
This all started from my elementary years where I got way too lucky that it became detrimental. I was a very consistent honor student, not at the top but still consistently in the honors. Not to brag but school was way too easy for me. It was so easy that I could easily get high marks on exams without doing anything.
That in turn made me extremely lazy and never put in the effort. During exam weeks and such, I would just sleep all day, read books (like Narnia or something, not academic stuff), play videogames, etc. I just wasted my time since I was way too confident that everything will work out anyway, and it always did big time.
Everything fell apart once I got into high school. The curriculum finally became hard and challenging but by then my minimum effort approach was already hard coded within me and I was lost. The demand to actually work without dumb luck was very apparent and I wasn't able to keep up. It was made even worse with the fact that I also lacked positive role models during that time and got bullied a lot.
It's clear that I have potential. A lot of people see it and if I can already accomplish things without trying, how much more when I actually discipline myself and put in the effort?

In the Era of Fear I Comfort them with Great Love
Anita Moorjani was cured from cancer not because of a certain medicine, vaccine or chemotherapy. She was cured because of this Great Love. Anita Moorjani is a forty years old woman who is simple and honest. She was born in India, grew up in Singapore and was English educated. Later she went to Hong Kong. She knows Tamil, English and Cantonese. In 2002 the doctor said that she was down with cancer lymphoma or the blood cell tumor. After four years, in 2006 seventy percent of her body is covered with the cancerous cells. She stayed in the hospital, suffering terribly because of this illness. Later the doctor pronounced her death. After three days she woke up and was cured miraculously. This is truly inconceivable when she woke up from her death. In her mind she was very sure she was cured already. No treatment was needed. But she was very weak. She could not even talk. The doctor was surprised of her condition and again they carried out a checking on her body and found that she was free from all symptoms of cancer. In her mind she knew she was already cured. In her mind there was a great transformation that she personally experienced. And all the cells on her body were transformed into healthy cells. Later she wrote a book entitles: After dying once I finally learn to love’ By looking at this title, it coincides with Master Shan Dao’s teaching on the one with deep faith in the dharma. He said, ‘Standing here is waiting to die. Going forward is also death. Turning back, I too cannot escape from death.’ This can be found in the ‘Analogy of two rivers and one white lane’ the three sure deaths. If we have died once, we will truly give ourselves up. This is the same as the Pure Land teaching that we have to admit we are the sinful mundane man. We lose all hope as we have no ways to leave the triple realm. In cultivation we need to really undergo a total death in order to really practise the path. The zen cultivator says this is known as undergoing great death and great living. Otherwise, no real cultivation can be expected because most of us are very arrogant, very self-centred, without much changes in our stubborn mindset. That is why she said after dying once only she managed to learn how to love. In the Pure Land door this is known as having deep faith. Such a man will surely have faith in Amitabha’s 48 vows to gather in living beings without any doubts and suspicion. By relying on the strength of the Buddha’s Vows we will surely attain a rebirth. This is living in the great love of Namo Amitabha Buddha. We receive the love of Amitabha Buddha. Only then we can have the genuine love and we are able to learn to love. If we do not feel the love of Amitabha Buddha, we will not know how to love. Our love will be frightening as it is an attachment, a desire to control, to possess others. Such a love is impure, it is a threat to us. If we are not careful it might turn into hatred. Such is a frightful kind of love. If we learn from Amitabha Buddha, the love is pure, without condition and transparent. This is truly loving a person. It is not easy to learn this. We look at the couples around us. So many got married and end up in divorce. How about those who do not get a divorce? Yes, they spend the whole life fighting！The truly loving couples are as few as the stars in the broad day light. So, learning to love is our homework for the whole life. It is not easy. Today I would like to discuss this passage with you. After reading her writing I feel most shameful as what the author has said is very true in accord with her experience. Even though I have left home for more than twenty years, receiving the teaching of the Buddha, the guidance of the patriarch, the exhortation of my Master, the help of my lotus friends and all, I still feel I am lacking in genuine practice and virtues. On the contrary this lady has not met with the Buddha Dharma. She has such an awakening after dying once, it is truly a gain for her. She said, ‘After my body stopped functioning, I entered into another world.’ She was so seriously ill that her heart, her liver and everything stopped functioning. This is to show there is a world after death. She said, ‘I saw myself as a very wonderful person. This is because I was not terrorised until I had a change in shape.’ ‘I felt there was this vibrant energy around me and I was able to enter it. I realise if a man can see his wonderful existence, he must be the happiest man.’ Most of us like to complain about our imperfect existence. We often think thus, ‘I do not have enough money. I am not healthy. I am not pretty. I do not have enough clothing ….’ Here we must learn to see the good points in us, to appreciate the value of our existence. A woman who can say like this is truly very calm in mind. A man who always complains about himself will not be able to live happily each day. So, without knowing the love of Amitabha for us, we will be a great complainer. We complain about no money, we complain about our look, our wrinkles and so on and so forth. What kind of life will this be with so many complaints? She said, ‘I found that there was this power surrounding me.’ When we pass away, we will no longer be using our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind to observe. Instead, we will be awakened to our innate Buddha. She felt she is surrounded by this vibrant field of energy and she is also this energy. What kind of power is this? It is a kind of energy. It is always in the universe or the dharma realm in the Buddhist terms. In fact, this is Amitabha Buddha. This is the strength of the Buddha Nature. She uses her Buddha Nature to experience the Buddha Nature. It exists forever. It is neither born nor become extinct. If the Buddha enters the world or does not enter the world, it is always there without changing. Of course, she does not use these Buddhist terms. She said, ‘When I give up the attachment to the mundane world, I enter another world effortlessly. It is unnecessary to pray, to recite a sutra or to give a dharma talk. It is unnecessary to seek forgiveness, repentance or other methods.’ ‘Death gives me the feeling that I do not need to do anything. It is just as though I am telling someone I am coming to the end. I cannot do anything anymore. I give up. Whatever you want to do I will just accept.’ I feel that this passage is very near in meaning to the Pure Land’s view. It means when we die, we have just to let go as nothing can be done anymore. Most people die in torment as there are many attachments in this world. They are worried about their children, money and work. Some people find it difficult to die. So, from here we must learn to let go when it is our turn to leave the world. Moreover, we have the promise from Amitabha Buddha who will come to receive us in accord with the strength of his vows. It is much easier for us. This lady just let go and she entered another world. Her state should be quite high too. I will explain below. I feel that she had arrived at the border of the Pure Land. Her state of an awakened mind showed that she was not in the heaven. She seemed to be enlightened to the Buddha nature and non -existence of a self. She experienced the light of enlightenment and returned to life, to lead a life of love. So, in our practice we are told to let go of all attachment and to wish for a rebirth in the Pure Land relying on Amitabha’s strength of vows. So from here we can see it is very easy to be born in the World of Ultimate Bliss. She said it is unnecessary to recite a sutra, a dharma or seeking for forgiveness. She enters the other world naturally when she simply gives up herself. I remember once I went with my Master to console a dying man. I was very touched by my Master’s words. He said kindly to the man who is on the verge of death, ‘So and so, now we will recite Namo Amitabha Buddha. If you can recite, then recite together. If you can’t, just lay down and relax. It is ok if you just listen to our recitation.’ Are not these words very comforting? The dying man will feel very safe and relax. But if you were to say, ‘So and so, this is the last chance. Bring out all your strength to face death. If you can recite then recite together. If you cannot recite, you must try also!’ On listening to this threat, the sick man is stressed out. He will die instantly as he has no strength to join in recitation. The Master who with his great love understands the rescue of Amitabha Buddha is a natural process that he is able to say in such a comforting way. No condition is needed. There is no threat nor fright in his words. A man who threatens people is not calm as he must be frightened too in his mind. That is why what he says will frighten people, giving stress to others. If we are loving in our mind, our words will only bring love, peace and calm to others. People will feel our love for them. So, this lady says it is unnecessary to read or recite any prayer or seeking forgiveness. This is because the wavelength of her mind is on a par with the great love of the universe. She naturally enters it. Namo Amitabha Buddha is a dharma that requires no seeking or pleading. It is a dharma of rescue without condition. When we recite Namo Amitabha Buddha, the wavelength of our mind is the same as Amitabha Buddha. So, we will attain a rebirth naturally. Many of us who do not understand the kindness of Amitabha Buddha will seek a rebirth by pleading to the Buddha every day. His mind is unsettled and frightened that he might be left out. This is because he does not understand when he recites the Buddha’s name, the wavelength of his mind is in the same frequency with Amitabha Buddha’s mind and vows. Then people will ask, ‘Do we still go to recite the Buddha’s Name for the dying man?’ ‘Yes, of course.’ This is because the dying man has yet to understand this point. When we recite for him, he will be safe in the shine of Namo Amitabha Buddha. This is a method which is bestowed upon us to save us with this Name in accord with the strength of the Buddha’s vows. When she says to somebody, this refers to Amitabha Buddha. She says she cannot do anything anymore and she gives up. She gives herself up to the Buddha. So, when we die do not try to fight with death and refuse to die. We must just admit we are the offender and we need the help of Amitabha Buddha to take us, to rescue us. Namo is to admit we take refuge in the Buddha, we surrender ourselves. When we cultivate this door, we must not add in our ideas. We must just let Amitabha Buddha to decide for us. This is because Amitabha has the power of great vow, the extensive great strength of the Buddha Nature, the strength of immeasurable light, the strength of immeasurable lifespan. We just have to give up all planning. He will plan for us. So, when we recite the Name of the Buddha, just recite without thinking of doing this or that trying so hard to reach a certain acceptable standard. These are all unnecessary. This type of thinking is the habit of the sagely path cultivators. When we sit on the plane, just sit there. The plane will bring you to your destiny. It is unnecessary for you to help the plane to fly. Amitabha Buddha the pilot does not need you to fly the plane. If he needs your help then he is not known as Amitabha Buddha. Anita said, ‘In the other world, I found that my mind is very clear and bright. I realise by myself that I will only die out of the fear and terror in my mind.’ These words are very true. Clarity of mind means her mind is pure. In this world our mind is turbid, dark and deluded. That is why are enveloped in all kinds of worries and terror. But once we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally be pure and bright. This is because the land is pure and is enveloped in bright illumination. She said she naturally know she will be cured. This knowing ability is possessed by us originally. No learning is needed because our Buddha nature is originally pure and bright. In the Saha world our ability is being covered up by afflictions. But when we arrive at the World of Ultimate Bliss, we will naturally possess this ability. This ability reappears relying on the strength of Vows of Amitabha Buddha. When we arrive at the Pure Land, we will naturally possess the ability to make offerings to the Buddha. On hearing one sentence we are enlightened to the millions. Our mind is opened up to the thousands of million Dharanis. Everyone of us have this innate ability. And Amitabha Buddha’s strength of Vows enhances its opening. In this Saha World our innate nature is all covered up and cannot function. In the world of ultimate bliss, by relying on Amitabha Buddha’s strength of great vows, our innate ability is open up. So they are not contradicting. ‘I naturally know the source of the thought that I will die. The source is I was frightened. If there is no fear, there is no death.’ In actuality there is no death. It is only our fear of death that this illusion comes froth. In Buddha dharma we should know death itself is an illusion. Time is also an illusion. That is why the Buddha speaks all the Sutra in this manner, ‘Thus have I heard, at one time the Buddha was…..’ No specific time is stated. Now the physics has proven its illusory. As time is an illusion, it does not exist. Let me give you an example of what is meant by death. It is as if we are driving a car into a tunnel. The shape of the tunnel resembles that of a tomb. And we keep on driving into it. We say we are entering the tomb, that we are going to die soon. We are threatened as the entrance represents death. We continue on our journey in the tunnel and later leave the tunnel, again travelling on our way to another destiny. The entrance of the tunnel, the funeral wreath looks like the tomb. For us, death is a terrible idea that we are fearful of it. We do not know life is a continuity and there is no death. It is our wrong concept that there is this section of birth and death. No one can do anything about it until they personally realise it. ‘I am unable to live out my real self as I have too much worried.’ Most of us live in this world wearing a mask. If everyone of us is free to show our real self this is the most beautiful side of a self. Why cannot we live the way we should live? It is because we are always burdened with worries. We are worried we are not good enough. We are worried that our parents will scold us. We are worried our teacher will get angry and criticize us. We are worried about losing face. We only live for others. We lose our life away trying to accord to others’ expectation. We lose the light of a happy life. Our life is controlled by all these worrisome thoughts. But if we truly recite the Buddha’s Name, our mind will be at ease. Amitabha Buddha takes away our worries by replacing them with Namo Amitabha Buddha. We will realise all these worries and views are not important and we will gradually pay no attention to them. Our true life is Buddha recitation. That is our real identity. Our mind will be at ease as we will pay no attention to those unreal things, words and ideas. Our worries only arise when we care too much about the mundane matters. The author has not learnt about Buddhism. This is her experience in death. What she has written is very personal, true experience, not something that we learn from a book. Her experience gives her an awakening to the reality of life and she lives out her life in this awakening. I saw her video and I feel she is an enlightened person. An enlightened person may not be replete with spiritual penetration. But she will reveal her love in her daily living. She is calm at ease and without any sense of fear in her mind. She leads her life in a genuine way. She said, ‘I know that cancer is not a punishment neither is it a retribution. Cancer is my energy capacity which reveals itself on my body. Because of my fear I am unable to reveal the beautiful self in me. And this is the job which should be carried out by me. I know that cancer is not a punishment which is forced on me. It is not an external force of retribution.’ This is what we often do when certain things happen, we will try to find an excuse or put the blame on reward or retribution. We treat the misfortune with anger and hatred. We often have this tendency to catogorise every happening in accord with the cause or reason. In Buddhism we talk about cause and effect. As she is not a Buddhist she says, ‘Cancer appears as a result of a change in my energy capacity. This energy shows itself in the form of cancer.’ This is because she lives in fear and worries. She does not live out her real happy self. So if we the Buddha recitation cultivators are able to reveal the bright side of life, to live without worries, there will be no more cancer for us. This is her understanding about life. That is why I have often said, ‘Lead a life of a mundane man and recite the Buddha’s Name sincerely.’ We should lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Our life will be full of light and blessings. And we will become more loving. Finally we will lead a comfortable life and people around us will be comfortable also. This itself is the propagation of the dharma of love. Otherwise, if we cannot live a loving life, there is no point talking about anything as they will be useless. Anita said, ‘In that state which is vast and limitless, I found that I am too strict with myself. I keep on whipping myself.’ Can we feel the existence of being vast and limitless? No. We are often limited by our surrounding. As she had entered the limitless vastness, she is able to know her whole life. She knows her fault is being too strict with herself. In fact, most of us are very strict with ourselves, demanding ourselves to be like this or that. She said, ‘No one is punishing me. The person whom I cannot forgive is I myself. I have abandoned myself. I do not love myself. This matter is none of others’ business.’ No one from outside comes to punish us. It is we who punish ourselves. We cannot forgive our selves. We add on a lot of unnecessary locks and chains on ourselves. What is more for us the Buddha reciters? If we recite the Buddha’s name and on the other hand, we add on ourselves lots of locks and chains whence Amitabha Buddha is trying to unlock us, isn’t this a most pitiful situation?’ She said that she had abandoned herself. It means we throw ourselves away and become a lone ranger, an isolated person living a life of sadness, a live without love. Look at a baby. Her eyes are clear as the baby is a simple being, just like a simple puppies or baby cat. The baby can play with chickens, puppis as she does not give rise to diffentiation. Not everyone of us is like Anita. But every one of us can recite the Buddha’s name. When we recite the Buddha’s name, we will be calm. Amitabha Buddha said, ‘In the world of fear I comfort them with great love.’ It is because all the worries are gone when we accomplish Buddhahood at the Pure Land. We will not be so worried about our poverty, health problem, ugliness, stupidity, inability to recite a sutra, a mantra. All these are unimportant as finally I will become a Buddha in the Buddha Land. We will be more humorous. For example, if we are ugly we will use it as a joke. It does not matter at all. Because all the external states are not you. The real self, our real life is the Buddha’s Name. It is our true identity. It will bring ease to our mind. A baby is pure. But as it grows up, it starts to abandon himself. A baby resembles a glass of pure water. When he grows up, his greed starts to accumulate when he wants a toy, a book, good results, money, benefits, fame women and so on. All these are placed in the glass of water. Everything is a piece of mud that we put in out glass. The more we put into the glass, the more the water will flow out. This water is the genuine self. We abandon the true self, chase it out with our greed. We fill ourselves with all the rubbish. The genuine blessings and bliss are chased away. We lead an opaque life without transparency. Our life become a glass of muddy water and we live in great torment. The more we obtain, the more we lose ourselves. That is why the Buddha is truly kind. He and his disciples lead a life of a beggar. When you have nothing, you will be happy and relax. The mind retains its purity. Human beings are deluded as they think to possess a wife, children, a house, a car are called blessings. A man who truly loves himself does not love money, sex, fame, food, sleep. These five desires are the knives that will cut us into pieces and bring on great sufferings. Anita said, ‘I realise I am the child of the beautiful universe. As long as I exist, I will obtain this unconditional love.’ This is very good. I would like to make the following changes, ‘I realize that I am the son of the adorned Amitabha Buddha.’ In Buddhism we use adorned to replace the word beautiful. The universe is this Amitabha Buddha. In the Sutra we are told Amitabha Buddha is the Treasury Body of the Dharma Realm. Amitabha Buddha exists in the whole of the Dharma Realm. Of course, there are also the reward body and transformation bodies beside the dharma body. Amitabha Buddha is the immeasurable wisdom and lifespan. Anita says that the universal energy is abundant and inexhaustible, vast and without limits. This is the existence of the Buddha Nature. She says as long as she exists, she will surely obtain the unconditional love. I often also say, ‘No conditions are required for us to receive the love and rescue of Amitabha Buddha.’ Let us take the analogy of a tree. As long as it exists, it will receive the sunlight. No other condition is needed. So it is the same for the house and everything on earth. Amitabha Buddha’s Name is also known as the Light that Far-surpassing the Sun and Moon. Amitabha Buddha’s light pervasively illumines all the living beings and things in the world. As long as we exist, we will receive the light of the Buddha, the protection of his loving kindness and rescue. It is unnecessary for us to become somebody so as to receive the unconditional rescue of Amitabha Buddha. Our Master Hui Jing also wrote a book on the ‘Unconditional Rescue of the Buddha.’ Some people cannot believe. He says, ‘If this is the case everyone will commit evils.’ Such a thinking is negative and full of fear as his mind is dwelling in darkness. He is afraid that the world will go upside down. He cannot understand that as long as there is the existence, may they be a cat, a dog, a hell being, they will be taken care of by Amitabha Buddha. The only condition is they exist. This reminds me of the words of Great Master Tan Luan, ‘The future scholars who hear about the rescue of the Buddha, the rescue that relies on other’s strength, he should give rise to faith. Do not refuse such a chance. It is being stupid.’ Do not think that you should do this and that to obtain the rescue? Amitabha Buddha did not ask you to do anything. He says, ‘Living beings in the ten directions who have faith in me.’ It means they exist and the Buddha will be there to save them. Buddha recitation is not a condition. It is just a method of saving. Anita says, ‘I do not have to do anything to obtain this love.’ Just like a blade of grass in the water. Does it need to do anything to obtain water? It is unnecessary. As long as it exists, it is surrounded by the water. As long as we exist, we are surrounded by the love of Amitabha Buddha. We do not need to do anything to obtain this love and care. Once we know this, we will be fearless and calm at ease. This is the same as the sunlight which shine on the mountain and also the valley. In our life no matter what level we are we will receive the illumination of Amitabha Buddha. Anita says, ‘No prayer, no seeking is needed.’ Amitabha’s rescue is there always. As long as we recite, we will be saved by him. Amitabha Buddha says, ‘All living beings in the ten directions who call on me will be saved by me. You only have to say out my name.’ You say you are dumb and cannot call the name. Such a man who understands the rescue of Buddha will also be saved even if he cannot pronounce the Name. But if you are unwilling, you are creating an obstacle for yourself. That is why our dharma door is known as the ‘The Dharma is taught without being asked.’, the ‘Befriend us without being asked’. As long as we trust him, he will come personally to take us to his Pure Land. On hearing that nothing is needed to be done, some will be confused. They want to do something, to clean the altar, to change the water, to offer some fruits and incense, to sit in meditation and so on. They think this will help them to attain a rebirth. They have to do something. They do not realise what they need to do is to reveal the beautiful self, to lead the adorned life and let themselves become the love. As long as we sit there and lead a loving life we are in accord with the love of the Buddha Amitabha. When the sun is shining, you say, ‘It is good. A shiny day.’ When it is raining, you say, ‘Very good. It is raining now.’ When it snows, you say, ‘Good, I love snow.’ This way of living is to add the positive loving energy to this universe. You are spreading the pure and harmony energy to the universe. In the Buddha Dharma it is known as the lights shine on one another. The whole universe will receive the positive energy of your loving and harmonious mind. So, what you need to do is to recite Namo Amitabha Budda loudly, softly, silently. All will be ok. If we live this way, Amitabha Buddha will be most happy to see us. It is just like a child who is sleeping in the cradle. Doing nothing. What do you think? Will the mother be happy to see him like that? Yes, of course. She will be very glad with him just sleeping there. Nothing has to be done. A child in the arms of his mother is the revelation of total trust. And this is the same for us to be in the arms of Amitabha Buddha. We just relax and trust him. We will lead a happy life. And this is the genuine way of living in accord with the love of oneself. More often than not we lead a life with worries, fear, twisted emotions and trying to cover up our faults. Our adorned life cannot be revealed. Everyday, we live in fear and worries. This is adding chains and locks to ourselves. Anita says, ‘I have never truly loved myself before. I have never valued my existence. I have never seen the adorned soul in me.’ She uses soul to describe herself. In the Buddha Dharma this refers to the beauty and adorned Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I am so beautiful yet I have never realised it. It is replaced with the hard facts of mundane existence. I decay because I do not understand my beautiful soul.’ In the Buddha Dharma it is described as all living beings are originally the Buddha. Yet we do not live, in accord with our Buddha Nature. We are often controlled by our mundane existence, the salary, the examination results and such like. We forget of our Buddha Nature. We lead a life of decay, a life of erosion. This is the General path of Buddhism. From the angle of Buddha Recitation, the rescue of Amitabha is always with us, only that we do not realise it. We try all kinds of methods hoping for the Buddha to rescue us. We do not know that we just have to admit we are the mundane men who are covered with offences. There is no other way to save ourselves if we do not rely on Amitabha Buddha. Then we let go and recite the Buddha’s Name wholeheartedly. This is the way to be saved by the Buddha. But most people cannot understand this. They want to do something good, to be pretentious and make out something good of himself, to scold people for their lacking in virtues and such like. This is against the practise of this pure land door. Why cannot the people in the world see their pretention? It is because they are also not living a true life. Their eyes are not clear enough to see through this pretention. A fake man sees something fake and he will treat it as genuine. A clear -headed man will surely be able to see through all these false masks. If we were to wear a false mask for too long it will be difficult to remove it. It has grown on to our skin. It will be painful if we want to remove this fake mask. So it takes time for us to loosen this false mask as we have been wearing them for too long. Anita says, ‘This understanding makes me realise that I do not have to be frightened anymore.’ There is no more fear in her mind. It is a mind of calm and bliss. It is a mind which is full of hope. It is a comforting mind that can soothe others. With this calm and happy mind it is already a contribution to all around us. It is already a protection and mindfulness to all around us. We do not have to do anything at all. Most of us live in fear. We pay for insurance because we are afraid when we get old, we have no money, no money to pay the medical fees. We get married out of fear that we will be lonely. Why do we give birth to children? We are afraid no one will take care of us at old age. Why do we go to school? It is because we are afraid of our mother’s anger. Why must we study hard? We are afraid of our teacher. Why do we go to university? We are afraid people will look down on us. Can we live without fear? We cannot. Even our mother who loves us so much say we will suffer if we do not study hard. From our young age we receive the education of fear. We are threatened by our beloved parents, our responsible teachers. We do not receive the education of love. So, if we love our children, do not add fear to them. We must give only love and courage so that they can face life with their original positive energy, positive strength. This is because the world is full of twisted people, fake people, suffering people. There are very few upright men, genuine men, happy and hopeful men around. I only hope all of you my lotus friends will bring up a future generation who is upright, genuine, happy and hopeful with the strength of Amitabha Buddha. So, we must lead a life based on the right values taught by Amitabha Buddha. If we teach our child to fight for self -benefit, to contend with others, we are making them blind so that they do not see the truth of life. This is harming them. If we are enlightened to this, we will only rely on Amitabha Buddha. We are not afraid to be lonely. We will be at ease. Those who see the light, the warmth of the Buddha will no longer be frightened. Anita says, ‘I realise this is a state that can be reached by myself and everyone.’ In Zen sect it is said all living beings are Buddha. In the Buddha recitation door, everyone can recite the Name, everyone can attain a rebirth and everyone can accomplish Buddhahood. This is the bestowment by Amitabha Buddha. All the things that we fight for may not be beneficial to us. Everything that benefits us are often free. For example, the air we take in every instant is free. We do not pay to stand on the earth. We do not pay to look at the sky above. Whatever we fight and earn to get are valueless. Everything that is valuable is free. In the general practice it is said, ‘No cultivation is the cultivation. Nothing is obtainable. This is the state of a bodhisattva. The original face of all dharma often dwells in the mark of still extinction. Our Buddha Nature is replete with all merits and virtues. We cannot cultivate anything to enhance it. This is because all the things that we can do are only dreams, illusion, bubbles and shadow. Whatever that we do, that we create are not in accord with our Buddha Nature. The Buddha Nature is always there, original and shining out naturally. And in our Pure Land Dharma, whatever we have offered, whatever we have done are not the causes for our attainment of a rebirth. Attaining a rebirth is the state of nothing doing. It stays apart from creation or doing. It is a natural state. Reciting Namo Amitabha Buddha helps us to return to this state. Anita said, ‘So I decided to return to the mundane world.’ She has enlightened to the opportunity of life and she decided to come back to tell us about life. Just like many Pure Land cultivators who say that they will not come back any more to sufferings. Yet when they arrive at the Pure Land and brings forth the Bodhi mind, they will come back by themselves to help other beings. Anita said, ‘When I was on the verge of death, I realised the universe comes forth from unconditional love. I am one of the revelations of this love in my present form.’ For the scientists they will say the universe is made from electron, protons, neutrons and so on. This is talking only at the surface level, the materials. But as she talked from her true experienc,e she can see all the things, all the people are the expression of this universal love. When she comes back from death, she deeply penetrates the genuine love the mother universe and her wavelength is in accord with the universal love. She comes back as a healthy woman. So once there is a change in our mind set, the body, the people and the surroundings will also change. In the eyes of Buddha and Bodhisattva there is no differentiation of filth and purity. Everything is pure and adorned in its own expression. Every one of us is the art piece of this unconditional love or in the Buddha’s words, the Buddha Nature. She said, ‘I cannot change into another form as it is my original expression, original nature of this unconditional love.’ Everything that exists is the expression of the Buddha Nature. Even something which is defiled or unwholesome is also part of the expression of this unconditional everlasting love. That is why the Buddha says, ‘All the Dharma from the original state dwells constantly in still extinction.’ Still extinction refers to Nirvana the state of the Buddha. So, when we recite the Buddha’s Name we will enter the Buddha’s dwelling. ‘The energy capacity of the strength of life forms derives from love. And I am made from the universal energy capacity. On knowing this, I realise I do not need to become somebody else. And my true value will not be depreciated too.’ Anita said, So, it is unnecessary for us to become another man. A business man does not need to become Jack Ma. Why is this so? It is because you are equal to him. He is not higher than you. He has the Buddha Nature and you also have the Buddha Nature. Every one is equal. So we do not need to measure in terms of money especially if we truly know the benefits of Buddha recitation. In the eyes of the Buddha every one of us is a shining star. We do not need to chase after another star. Just imagine the havoc it will be when the stars do not dwell in its orbit and try to chase after another star. What a chaos the universe will become. Everyone of our existence is in perfect conditions in the eyes of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘This is the I that I have always wanted to be.’ she said. We must learn to appreciate ourselves, accept ourselves and love ourselves. This ‘I’ is invaluable under the unconditional love of the Rescue of Amitabha Buddha. We are his precious sons, the pearls on his hand. If we are accepted by the Buddha, we will be so happy as we will have no complaint about ourselves. We are often surrounded by people who keep on complaining about us. The first one is our mother who says that we are not clever, we have low marks. We are not filial. We earn too little. See how our mother teaches us not to appreciate ourselves. Then we are blamed by our teacher, our classmates, our girl -friend and so on. Then comes Amitabha Buddha who studies us and says, ‘Put aside all the complaints. You are qualified to attain Buddhahood. No problem at all. I give you 100 percent.’ That is why we Buddha Recitation Practitioners are always at ease under the shine of Amitabha Buddha who give us the confirmation. This is the greatest benefits the Buddha bestows upon us. Buddhism brings hope and bliss to the world, the universe. So, in this life’s time we must try our best to lead a life of Amitabha Buddha. Do not be swayed by the mundane values, mundane eyes, mundane perspective. We rely only on the outlook of the Buddha and Bodhisattva. ‘Once we know that we are this love, it is unnecessary to purposely go forth to shower love on others. As long as we are faithful to our original nature, we will automatically become the tools of love, touching the hearts of everyone who have affinity with us.’ This part of her speech is very good. If we are already the lamp, there is no need for us to go out purposely to shine on others. The lamp just stands at its place and it manages to brighten up the place. So, when we are the LOVE, we will naturally touch those around us with our love. Take a look at our Master Hui Jing. He sits there quietly and yet every one of us are calm and happy naturally. So when we become the love, wherever we are, all will feel calm at ease, without any fear. Anita said, ‘The most important thing I have learnt is I am the Love itself. All my fears are gone. This is the reason I come into life again.’ Amitabha Buddha said, ‘I will transform all the fear into great calmness, great serenity’ When We recite His Name we are charged with his love. We also become the love. We will leave behind all fear. ‘My dear, you will always be loved. You do not need to harbour any fear. There is no way for you to commit any errors.’ Always think about these three sentences. There is the light of truth in it. This is spoken by a non -Buddhist who was on the verge of her death and who lives again. How about us the Buddha Recitation Practitioners? Can we deny the love of Amitabha Buddha, His unconditional love of rescue? From this story we know the unconditional love of rescue of the Buddha pervasively surrounds us. We must have faith in this and lead a life of joy with no more fear. Nowadays, everyone lives in fear. We must learn to replete ourselves with love and bring this shine to others, to lead them out of fear. Love yourself and love others. Namo Amitabha Buddha. A dharma talk by Dharma Master Shi Jing Zong, the Abbot of the Hong Yuan Monastery in Anhui, China entitled: Dying Once to Learn to Love

I (28m) used to be best friends with this girl, “S” (29f) from grade 2 until I was 22 years old (that was when we last saw each other). Her parents ran a Korean restaurant, and I have so many fond memories of eating there with her. S and I were close enough that when we were really young, we promised to marry each other when we got older lol. It was that kind of relationship.
Starting from when I was in high school, until around my second year of college, I became a bit of a creep. I knew that it was wrong to touch girls without their consent, but I just thought it was “mildly” wrong, rather than being a genuine, disturbing violation. I didn’t think it was wrong to ogle girls, I thought I was being “funny” when I said sexual things to them, etc etc. I don’t know how, but I just happened to fly under the radar; between the ages of 14-18, when I was REALLY acting out, I still don’t remember getting any warnings or getting into trouble from my authority figures and teachers. And unfortunately, I took out some of my perversions on S during this time. I leered at her a lot and made a lot of sexual comments about her. One time, when I was in my freshman year of college, I groped her breasts; this was the only time I laid my hands on her. It's important to note, however, that I didn't act out on her nearly as much as I did to other girls, because I thought she was too dear to me to treat her that way on a regular basis. The last communication she had with me was 6 years ago, when she asked me via Facebook “yo…are you okay?” I didn’t respond to that message.
I grew up A LOT ever since I went to college. With all that being said, I admit that I am still sexually attracted to S, and I look up her Facebook photos frequently (not that it really hurts her; what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her). I miss her so much, and I still remember that silly childhood marriage promise that we made with each other. She never posts anything angsty on her Facebook or social media, which I’m hoping means that she’s not as traumatized as I fear she is. If I reach out to her and ask her out for some coffee, would that be a good idea?

Hello im 16m going into junior year at my hs and I met a girl in geom (16f) 1 month ago and immediately developed a crush on her. She's all the things and recently I got her number! We have been talking for a while now and at first we both were both on fire asking questions and getting to know each other. She's doing VB and I'm in band (trombone). Recently tho about a week ago I told her how I felt and she felt the same way but wanted to continue getting to know me and didn't want to date yet. I respected it and didn't bother it again, but our once firey conversations have died. Maybe because shes a vb superstar and shes doing D1 vb stuff everyday or she lost interest (weekends are better). Im lost because now I'm trying to keep the convo alive. We talk at school a lot but I usually approach her unless in class where I'm her go to partner every time. Its just that I don't wanna have to be the one who is always trying to keep it alive because its tearing me apart. Im losing interest and I don't know if I want to keep striving for attention. I'm thinking about letting it go and moving on is that foolish should I stay in this? Im falling head over heels but I'm getting my butt kicked at the same time by hormones. Idk what to do. Am I a fool? Should I stop while I'm ahead?

Hey guys, hoping you can help out a struggling soul here. I'm currently 30 years old and have spent most of my adult life hopping between jobs and working paycheck to paycheck. I did a few years of community college out of high school but bounced between three different majors before running out of steam and money and just dropping school entirely.
Recently I was able to pass the CompTIA A+ exam in what is hopefully my first step into finally starting a career in IT. Two of the three majors in college were IT related but like mentioned earlier, it didn't pan out back then. I'm really just looking for anything I can get at this point just to get my foot in the door, but I'm really struggling on how to re-write my resume to adapt to this.
Most of my previous work has been customer service related and my resume probably looks really sketchy. I worked two and a half years of retail straight out of high school, left there to work in a hotel for about 7-8 months, then went back and did another 2 years in retail before jumping back into the hotel biz for another year and a half. After that I did two different hospital jobs in the culinary department, then about 6 months as a bank teller before Covid shut us down. After that I did a little over a year as an admin assistant at a phlebotomy lab, then ended up leaving there and did some gig work for a few months on my own before getting my current job. I've been working in a scheduling department for a home health care agency for almost two and a half years now.
So yeah, a lot of not so pretty stuff to put on a resume. I'm trying to right the ship but I'm not sure how much to list and what to omit to encourage someone out there to give me a chance. Any advice at all?

So you mean to say that cps is coming in 20 minutes and you need cleaning supplies? You wouldn’t walk your ass to the store faster than 45 mins, never mind clean your house in which you should have cleaned a long time ago. Not to mention you say abby’s there, why are you “buying “ litter for her cats, we all saw how she just literally up n left them n how bad that room got, cockroaches gnats shit while nine yards, i wish someone would call animal control on you for the dog’s paw alone, never mind all the vaccines and such that he’s missing, you probably don’t even have a dog license which is required by law. Lisa Get Off The Internet. 🛜 She said “KrystalLean30” was her cash app but said put “lisa” in the for section . Then proceeded to call someone an ask how much was in there, never mind transferring money from PP to another money app that we all saw in the glasses. Or all the times she says things and it’s no one in the comments who said anything like she says😂😂 She be like “lemme check” whole time she’s scrolling comments in her glasses she’s so nasty Anyone who misses lives go to youtube type “nookie lisa richards” or “Kai.Fotze2.0 lisa richards”

Hi everyone, I'm wondering if anyone could help me with this.
I have 2 slim model ps3s, one that I use regularly, the other is one I owned years ago, then gave to my brother. My brother's one has some digital games and demos/themes/trophies/pictures/videos and saved data (for ps2 and 3 games) on it (all mine from years ago when I used to own it), and I want to get all of it transferred from his ps3 to mine.
I really don't know how to accomplish this, and from what I've seen online, it may not even be possible to transfer digital games/demos. I know I can plug in a usb stick and transfer things off like photos/videos (which I haven't done yet), but I don't know how to transfer themes/trophies/saved game data/game data etc.
I definitely don't want to brick/format either of the ps3's. I also don't want to jailbreak either of them if possible.
Many of the videos about this on Youtube are very old and I don't know if they're reliable anymore. But if you could direct me to a good one that would be helpful. Thank you.

this is my final for honors sophomore English, it's a speech I have to read infront of my class. is the last paragraph too ballsy or sound rude?
Walking into sophomore year I was expecting to breeze through it just like I did Freshman year. Obviously, that didn't happen. I went to STEM in freshman year, and it was easier than middle school. We had no expectations to have our work done on time or to do quality work. English and History classes were alternating days, but we almost never actually had English class. We did not do any assignments for that class, and this only set me up for failure. But, non the less, I tried, and I went into this year with a positive mindset. My mindset was immediately diminished when I got my grade for the Federalist Papers assignment. Take a wild guess at what I got. Then, I realized how hard I would need to work to succeed in this class. Afterall, I didn't even want to take this class to be honest. All my life, I have been a follower, and I just do what other people do to avoid any sort of conflict. So, when a then-friend told me to take Honors English 10 instead of regular, along with APUSH and doubling my math classes to do Algebra 2, I did so with no thought. Of course, I did not succeed. I have made a lot of decisions in my life based on what others tell me to do, and I don't take my own opinion into account. There was a post on Instagram that I saw one day, where the author stated that they were "a mosaic of everyone they have ever loved, even for a heartbeat. For me, I am a mosaic of everyone I have ever met I have always tried my best to please everyone without a second thought to myself. This year, while working on projects together and doing peer editing. I have gotten better at voicing my opinions and building off others. In other words, I have started to stop following others, and have started to lean on them for support instead, like we all do in our web. To stand here and say that I have mastered communicating with my peers would be a lie. I still have work to do, just like the rest of us.
Along with this, I have also learned academic skills that will help me in the future in college. I learned how to better manage my time and how to plan things out, although this still needs work.
For my Final Words, I would like to NOT-thank Mrs. Repko. You said not to be afraid to express our thoughts and opinions, or to offend you or anyone in the room, so here I go. There is a difference between purposely making class difficult and frustrating to help us bond, and making it so difficult and frustrating that we don't want to be here. Don't get me wrong, we definitely bonded from our struggles in the class, and I am so grateful for these bonds and the friends I have become close with. But, and I think I'm speaking for more than just myself here, We are so frustrated with this class that we often don't even want to go. Most of us were confused, and so frustrated about what was expected of us that we pushed off assignments as long as we could, just out of not knowing where to start. And my 8 hours straight all nighter on my literary analysis can attest to that. There is a line where creative freedom becomes too much, and eventually we are just trying to finish the work to have it done instead of showing our full potential, which we could have possibly done with more instruction and control. A lot of assignments crossed said line. The built up confusion and frustration overpowered potential learning and growth we were supposed to have done. Of course, I greatly appreciate Mrs Repko for all that she does for us, but I felt that this should be addressed
Thank you.
thank you so much for reading if you made it to the end, any and all advice is apreciated!!

Okay so. Hi. I’ve posted on these types of subreddits on and off for a minute and the results have been pretty good. Truth be told I’ve met some of my bestest pals online and I love knowing I’m like a click away from someone I can chat with. I love sending and receiving snail mail but maybe we can start with some chats and see how that goes and maybe move to Snapchat or something idk.
Anyways. Me. Well, I’m 38, from BC, Canada close to Vancouver. I work as a clinician in healthcare and have worked in healthcare for 14 years. Previous to that I got my BA in English. I’m a published writer and poet - nothing crazy like novels but a few short stories and articles here and there. I’m also an avid photographer and got my start on the high school yearbook where I was free to be the weird girl dressed in all black lugging around a camera.
On the subject of black clothes, I consider myself a recovering goth. I’d probably fit in with an alternative label but I don’t truthfully see myself that way anymore. I’ve got tattoos but so does just about everyone now a days so whatever - I don’t feel they’re particularly interesting. Same thing with piercings etc
I’ve had people say I’m death obsessed and maybe that’s true. I’ve seen a lotta people die and I think about it a lot. I’m very interested in antiques and vintage items and consider a hobby of mine to be thrifting and I’m on a first name basis with the ladies at a few thrift shops. I’m definitely an aesthete. I love home decor and fashion. I make a lot of clothing and other items. I definitely have a “how hard can it be attitude?”
I’m into animals and have two cats who are useless shitbags who probably should get jobs but they haven’t yet so I’m stuck paying the bills.
I own my own home, I don’t drink any alcohol and haven’t for something like 12 years now. I don’t use any substances recreational or otherwise. If I’m feeling wild and out of control I might share a menthol cigarette with a friend outside a dive bar just for the drama of it all.
I’m an Aquarius, INTJ, if any of that is meaningful to you.
I go through phases and hyperfixations, and some current ones are:

1. High altitude mountaineering. Not that I’d ever do this myself but I love reading about and listening to information about Mt Everest.
   
2. The Chris Watts murder case
   
3. Tudor England
   
4. 1700s France
   
5. Olive Oatman
   
6. How dementia is addressed across cultures
   
7. Why Tom Hiddleston looks like a sickly Victorian chimney sweep
   

Anyways there’s probably more but this post is plenty long. If any of this seems interesting please send me a message.
On and btw, I’m attaching a selfie idk
me on some Flannery o‘Connor shit

Serious question (US based)
How do I become upper class?
CONTEXT: My family grew up middle class in an upper middle class neighborhood. I remember feeling ashamed because my friends would vacation to Europe every summer or other exotic destinations while I spent my summers working, and my only "vacation" was to go to the local public pool.
I've been out of college for a year now and have been able to take some short vacations within the US, which has been nice. However I still work in retail making a very low salary and my parents have given me a deadline to move out soon. I'm well aware that what I make is NOT a liveable salary, at least in the part of the country where I live.
I've been applying to jobs for almost two years and have gotten the occasional interview or phone screen but have not landed a single offer. I majored in a liberal arts degree but changed my mind on my ideal career path at a point where I was already stuck in my degree. I'd love to work in business but have already been rejected from all the firms in my area, not just the top ones (all without even getting an interview). I've been applying to jobs daily but I know I need a way to earn more money if I need to start supporting myself soon. I've even signed up for a side gig just to supplement my current job but am still waiting to get approved.
I've thought about becoming a gold digger (I am female) or starting an OnlyFans, although I can't quite overcome my conscience to do the latter, and I am too fat to be the former (I have PCOS and have struggled with my weight my whole life). I am currently learning to watch my diet and calories and working on losing weight, but I am currently well over my ideal weight and am only losing weight at a very slow rate which means it will be several years before I am down to a healthy weight.
Now for the good news.
For one, because I grew up surrounded by the upper middle class, I am familiar to some extent of the aesthetic of that class (although it is very different from my own personal style). I don't know some of the really boujee etiquette things like the different types of forks and what not (tbh being so concerned that someone's using a salad fork to eat steak or whatever is stupid. A fork is a fork.)
Because I went to an affordable public college, I graduated debt free, which is huge. I also graduated with a very good GPA and scored fairly highly on both undergraduate and graduate school standardized exams.
I also have a few different credit cards that I use responsibly and don't spend beyond my means (for the most part). I always pay my cards off in full every month and have a FICO credit score of about 770.
I try to diversify my portfolio, and of my savings I've accumulated so far, just under 10% is in a mutual fund, about 25% is in my 401k with company match, and the rest is in a high yield traditional savings account. With every paycheck, I contribute 10% to my 401k and an additional 10-25% into my savings account (I aim for 25% since I still live at home and have fewer expenses right now, but some months it's less).
It's hard because I've tried looking online for advice as far as how to become wealthy and I feel like I'm doing everything right - I went to college, I got good grades, I save a lot, I have no debt, I don't spend beyond my means, I've even tried going above and beyond to show my dedication in my job search by cold emailing recruiters at companies I'd be interested in (especially those who were alumni of my school), writing personalized cover letters, etc. and yet here I am stuck in my barely-above-minimum-wage soul-sucking retail job with a clock ticking over my head that I don't have much time to somehow find something that provides a liveable wage / move up in class so I can move out of my parents house. In addition, I don't really have the money to immerse myself into affluent circles by joining expensive country clubs, etc. (and even if I did, I feel like I would be judged and dismissed because I'm a fat woman), so that severely limits any opportunities to network or rub shoulders with the rich.
I know this is a very long post so thank you if you made it all the way to the end. I would really appreciate any sincere advice on how to move up in socioeconomic status, find a better paying job, etc. thank you ♥️

this is my final for honors sophomore English, it's a speech I have to read infront of my class. is the last paragraph too ballsy or sound rude?
Walking into sophomore year I was expecting to breeze through it just like I did Freshman year. Obviously, that didn't happen. I went to STEM in freshman year, and it was easier than middle school. We had no expectations to have our work done on time or to do quality work. English and History classes were alternating days, but we almost never actually had English class. We did not do any assignments for that class, and this only set me up for failure. But, non the less, I tried, and I went into this year with a positive mindset. My mindset was immediately diminished when I got my grade for the Federalist Papers assignment. Take a wild guess at what I got. Then, I realized how hard I would need to work to succeed in this class. Afterall, I didn't even want to take this class to be honest. All my life, I have been a follower, and I just do what other people do to avoid any sort of conflict. So, when a then-friend told me to take Honors English 10 instead of regular, along with APUSH and doubling my math classes to do Algebra 2, I did so with no thought. Of course, I did not succeed. I have made a lot of decisions in my life based on what others tell me to do, and I don't take my own opinion into account. There was a post on Instagram that I saw one day, where the author stated that they were "a mosaic of everyone they have ever loved, even for a heartbeat. For me, I am a mosaic of everyone I have ever met I have always tried my best to please everyone without a second thought to myself. This year, while working on projects together and doing peer editing. I have gotten better at voicing my opinions and building off others. In other words, I have started to stop following others, and have started to lean on them for support instead, like we all do in our web. To stand here and say that I have mastered communicating with my peers would be a lie. I still have work to do, just like the rest of us.
Along with this, I have also learned academic skills that will help me in the future in college. I learned how to better manage my time and how to plan things out, although this still needs work.
For my Final Words, I would like to NOT-thank Mrs. Repko. You said not to be afraid to express our thoughts and opinions, or to offend you or anyone in the room, so here I go. There is a difference between purposely making class difficult and frustrating to help us bond, and making it so difficult and frustrating that we don't want to be here. Don't get me wrong, we definitely bonded from our struggles in the class, and I am so grateful for these bonds and the friends I have become close with. But, and I think I'm speaking for more than just myself here, We are so frustrated with this class that we often don't even want to go. Most of us were confused, and so frustrated about what was expected of us that we pushed off assignments as long as we could, just out of not knowing where to start. And my 8 hours straight all nighter on my literary analysis can attest to that. There is a line where creative freedom becomes too much, and eventually we are just trying to finish the work to have it done instead of showing our full potential, which we could have possibly done with more instruction and control. A lot of assignments crossed said line. The built up confusion and frustration overpowered potential learning and growth we were supposed to have done. Of course, I greatly appreciate Mrs Repko for all that she does for us, but I felt that this should be addressed
Thank you.
thank you so much for reading if you made it to the end, any and all advice to make it better is apreciated!!

I was in Europe for a research conference with my team. We met other students at the conference, and my best friend (who is gay) developed a crush on "Bob" on the first day. I also thought he was cute but wanted my friend to go after him because this doesn't happen too often for him. He flirted with Bob the whole trip, but we were never sure if he was gay/bi.
There was also one night the whole group was trying to go out, and my friend and I were trying to organize with Bob over text. Bob stopped responding to my friend, and he was really bummed about it. He said Bob was most definitely straight, but I encouraged him, saying there was definitely a spark there (which I really did think was true, and my roommates thought so too). It wasn't until later that night when I realized Bob had responded to me instead. I never told my friend because he was already upset.
On the last day of the trip, we all went clubbing together. I spent the whole night trying to wingman my friend (pushing him towards Bob, encouraging him, etc), but to no avail. On the uber back I sat next to Bob in the back. I texted him (teammates were sleeping so it was quiet) hinting that my friend liked him and I was trying to set them up. He seemed surprised and said "and how were you going to do that" and proceeded to put his hand on my thigh, which caught me off guard. I didn't move it. We kept texting, I can't quite remember what we said (we weren't sending the messages, just typing them out and passing the phone back and forth). The last thing I said was "okay but he is my best friend so..." before exiting the uber.
Bob followed my roommate and I back to our hotel room and hung out as we packed for our flight. I couldn't make eye contact with him because I felt so guilty for betraying my friend. Bob and my roommate fell asleep, so I left to enjoy the sunrise and Bob eventually left to get his luggage while I was gone.
We all headed to the airport together, and I just avoided him the whole time. My team took turns saying bye to Bob and I just quietly said "bye" and walked away. He texted me later wishing me a safe flight. I apologized for saying too much the night before, and he apologized for touching without asking. Since then, we've been texting everyday for the past week. My friend doesn't know about any of this.
I don't know what to do or where this is going. Bob goes to a different school so we'll likely never see each other again. I've never been in a relationship and I don't think long distance would really work. I don't know how to bring this up to my friend because every time I FaceTime him, he's in a group setting. How do I go about this?

I was a mess during my entire high school life. My priorities are way off and I'm very undisciplined. I'm always lallygagging and extremely nonchalant about everything.
This all started from my elementary years where I got way too lucky that it became detrimental. I was a very consistent honor student, not at the top but still consistently in the honors. Not to brag but school was way too easy for me. It was so easy that I could easily get high marks on exams without doing anything.
That in turn made me extremely lazy and never put in the effort. During exam weeks and such, I would just sleep all day, read books (like Narnia or something, not academic stuff), play videogames, etc. I just wasted my time since I was way too confident that everything will work out anyway, and it always did big time.
Everything fell apart once I got into high school. The curriculum finally became hard and challenging but by then my minimum effort approach was already hard coded within me and I was lost. The demand to actually work without dumb luck was very apparent and I wasn't able to keep up. It was made even worse with the fact that I also lacked positive role models during that time and got bullied a lot.
It's clear that I have potential. A lot of people see it and if I can already accomplish things without trying, how much more when I actually discipline myself and put in the effort?

I (28m) used to be best friends with this girl, “S” (29f) from grade 2 until I was 22 years old (that was when we last saw each other). Her parents ran a Korean restaurant, and I have so many fond memories of eating there with her. S and I were close enough that when we were really young, we promised to marry each other when we got older lol. It was that kind of relationship.
Starting from when I was in high school, until around my second year of college, I became a bit of a creep. I knew that it was wrong to touch girls without their consent, but I just thought it was “mildly” wrong, rather than being a genuine, disturbing violation. I didn’t think it was wrong to ogle girls, I thought I was being “funny” when I said sexual things to them, etc etc. I don’t know how, but I just happened to fly under the radar; between the ages of 14-18, when I was REALLY acting out, I still don’t remember getting any warnings or getting into trouble from my authority figures and teachers. And unfortunately, I took out some of my perversions on S during this time. I leered at her a lot and made a lot of sexual comments about her. One time, when I was in my freshman year of college, I groped her breasts; this was the only time I laid my hands on her. It's important to note, however, that I didn't act out on her nearly as much as I did to other girls, because I thought she was too dear to me to treat her that way on a regular basis. The last communication she had with me was 6 years ago, when she asked me via Facebook “yo…are you okay?” I didn’t respond to that message.
I grew up A LOT ever since I went to college. With all that being said, I admit that I am still sexually attracted to S, and I look up her Facebook photos frequently (not that it really hurts her; what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her). I miss her so much, and I still remember that silly childhood marriage promise that we made with each other. She never posts anything angsty on her Facebook or social media, which I’m hoping means that she’s not as traumatized as I fear she is. If I reach out to her and ask her out for some coffee, would that be a good idea?

Hi there! I'm kind of new to this and looking for support. I've only been off of testosterone and publicly detransitioning for a month now. I'll write some of the backstory out and then my questions/concerns about my former transition and what to do next. I might ramble, my apologies. I have a lot to say, and I am definitely feeling emotional about it all. It's a big deal.
I'm (27F) woman and I was transitioning as an FTM for over 5 years. I have a bit of a complicated transition history that stretches back into my earlier teen years, but I medically transitioned in my 20s for that 5 years. I only went on testosterone and never got any procedures done. However, I passed fairly well when binding and with my facial/body hair growth. I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria but I'm not sure if that was correct or not. Honestly, I think I struggled more with body dysmorphia than anything gender-specific. I've had a very traumatic life (just saying that for context, I don't try to live my life in a victim mentality, my trauma has just influenced my decisions) and I went through puberty early so I was more aware of sticking out than someone in general would have. I genuinely did feel like I was transgender at parts of my life, but I don't think I would have identified that way if I had received better mental healthcare and guidance for how to accept and love and care for myself as the capable woman I am.
Overall, I think my transition was successful in a way because I accomplished a lot of life goals during the process and connected with myself. I finished undergrad, got into graduate school, worked hard in academia and in jobs, became a professional artist and writer and much more- all things that I never thought I was smart enough to do before transitioning. (I know, that sounds terrible :c ) Ultimately though, transitioning was leading me to an unhealthy place. I started to uncover a lot of traumas in therapy linked to bad male figures in my life and I started to piece together that perhaps I was trying to become the positive male figure that I never had before. Honestly, becoming that "man" did help, but the whole time it was just me. I'll never have a father, and I'll never get the peace and innocence I had before former abusive relationships, but I should have understood that my inner strength was inside of me as a woman the whole time. I didn't have to be a trans man to access that. I never experienced life as a single adult woman since I was always under negative male control, so this new phase of life is an entirely new world to me in a way. It's exciting, fresh, scary, and I am feeling so many things. I don't feel bitter about transitioning but I'm silently highly critical of my past situation and the way I regard other transitions I see IRL and online.
Towards the last two years of medically transitioning I started to experience really weird symptoms. There is a possibility that some of this is tied with long covid because I got seriously ill a couple of years ago, but I noticed symptoms become worse when dosage went higher and better when dosage was lower. Eventually, my doctor put me on what he called a "nonbinary level" which got my levels to somewhere around 99 when he said they should have been at 300. This was the point that I took medicine into MY own hands and told HIM that I wanted to be on that low dose because I felt better on it even though he wanted to increase it for some reason.
The symptoms I was having were heart palpitations, chest pains, muscle aches, loud joint cracking and pains, weakness and prone to injuries, vaginal dryness and pain, dizzy spells, and more probably that I can't think of. I have brought up these things to various doctors especially the last one and none of my "transgender healthcare professionals" seemed worried/interested enough to investigate what was going wrong other than give me blood tests or prescribe me a medicine that I wouldn't take. I felt like I had to handle my own treatment plan by becoming uncomfortably self-aware of my body situation and adjust my weight, supplements, and testosterone based on what would make me feel the least crappy. I felt abandoned by the medical field and I'm having to search for competent clinicians now who can see what's actually happening with my health. Thankfully most of the negative side effects have either subsided or lessened considerably but I don't know how much damage was actually done. I'm very grateful I still have my breasts and that my reproductive system is working a bit better, though I haven't gotten my period back yet.
Another frustration that helped me choose to detransition was understanding that the trans space is actually more dangerous than people want others to see it as. I hate saying that it's dangerous because I don't want to fearmonger ever, it's more of a logical observation. The amount of people that were predatory towards me when I was a trans man is shocking. I have trust issues already and I thought that presenting as male would protect me, but there were several who knew how to manipulate my insecurities and benefit from my vulnerability. A couple of months before I made the choice to detransition, I was a victim of a very violent SA from a "friend." I was hospitalized and injured for weeks if not months and it made me reconsider everything during the intensive therapy. My eyes opened to the reality of "chasers" who just wanted to feminize me, enact their kinks on me, and objectify/brutalize/humiliate me for my inherent womanhood. The people that claimed to love me as a trans man in theory, hated me as a woman in practice. It was horrific.
I'm so so so thankful that other detransitioners are being vocal about their experiences and reaching out even though it's a hard thing to do. I feel like I've been saved from a lifetime of extra pain and challenges that I was tricked into. My experience could have been much worse, and it was already not good.
While now I'm learning how to love myself more and navigate the world and processes of detransitioning, I'm also facing my mindset changing towards transitioning. At this point in time, I do personally believe that some transgender people do exist with gender dysphoria, but I think it is much rarer than the dominating narrative seems to suggest. I've started to hear more about AGPs and one of my friend groups almost all transitioned to become "trans women" but they don't seem to put in any effort to socialize or appear like women. They only tend to have sexual discussions and have started to seem very predatory and creepy towards me and others. One of them is convinced she has a period too. I have distanced myself from them because they have crossed my boundaries and I feel very threatened. But I feel like I can't confront them about the offensive gender issue because they'll think I'm transphobic when in reality, I feel like they're being misogynistic and hurtful.
Has anyone else experienced difficulties in healthcare/bad hormone side effects? Or what are your thoughts on dangers in the trans community? Do you have any tips on how to navigate the early stages of detransitioning? I just filed for my name change and am hoping to get laser removal soon! :)
Thank you so much for reading and any comments/advice. I appreciate it. I'm a little lost and nervous.

hi, um so like im 13 and my parents have been divorced since i was 7. my dad wouldn’t let my mom get a job during that time so she didn’t have any money really. she has a degree but it’s practically useless. and i used to live with her in my childhood home, but when i was near 10 moved out and my dad moved in. she doesn’t live far, but you need to take the highway. none of my friends’ parents are divorced, so they don’t get when sometimes i just start crying for hours because i miss my mom. i see her on the weekends but it’s still hard. im not as close with my mom as my friends are with theirs. and i just cry whenever i think about how im going to have to go through high school without her. i’ve already gone through middle school without her, and im lucky enough to not be bullied and stuff. but i just miss her. and i always tell her im going to be rich so i can shop all i want. but i really just want to be rich so i can buy her everything she’s ever wanted because she deserves it, i want to pay for her so she doesn’t need to live paycheck to paycheck, and so she can get great christmas presents, and so she can get her favorite clothing brands, and so she can get food that fits her diet. i know it’s going to take a while, like 10 years until i can be out of college. but i just want her to get everything. my older brother is 18, and he basically told her he doesn’t want to live with her. and it broke her heart. so im going to do everything in my power to make sure she’s able to live freely and be in my life. im sure i’ve strayed really far from my main point, but whatever. and my friends just don’t get why i start to cry whenever i think about my mom not being able to be with me all the time. they are always with their mom, they always eat dinner with their families. my family never eats together ever since my parents were divorced. all im saying i guess is just does anyone else feel the same whenever they think of their mom?

My first ever Reddit post. This is gonna be a long one so bare with me. I should give some context to better show the picture. My father 55M and my mother 47F have been working together in a construction business for 20 years. During this time I 21M have been helping them. All my summers were consistent of working from 6am to 5pm in normal work projects or flipping houses. Let me be clear, I am not complaining about doing some work. I appreciate my father and mother for all they have done. Sending me to school and having my college paid for. However, I never had a childhood life. I didn’t have friends outside of school and I never did anything other than work and school. I played sports in highschool but that was about it. Anyways my father is not a very appreciative guy. He claims everything he has done he did by himself and he did do most of the work. But I was 10 when I started. And I didn’t do small task like carrying some tools. I worked the machinery, I crawled in tight spaces to the install pipes and wires, I never went out with friends when everyone else did. But I never complained. My mother did all the office work. Setting appointments, emails, clients communication, ordering materials. She also does heavy lifting and she is not in the best of shape but she still does it. And cooks and cleans when she gets home. Basically without my mother the company would go to shambles because my father has never done any of these things. But he claims it’s nothing and that it’s easy work and he gave the bigger sacrifice for money. Side note my mother got surgery on both her arms due to nerve damage and she has this stomach thing that she won’t tell me about but it’s really bad and she wasn’t suppose to work and do heavy lifting and she came home crying after an appointment because the doctor told her she is as good as dead if she keeps going. But yeah my father makes more sacrifices, right? By simply working from 7 to 5 (no longer works 6-5) like every other contractor I know is a great sacrifice right? And he will only hire 1 extra laborer since I am off to college now double majoring in engineering. Anyways, recently they started an airbnb and my mother has been thinking of getting another job to not do physical stuff anymore. She got an email from a company and it looked good so I told her to go for it. My father took it as a sign of defiance and claimed it was my mothers escape plan from the marriage. Some more context, their marriage is loveless. They don’t kiss, hug, say I love you, nothing I know they are staying for my sake. But my mom would never cheat and she still says she has feelings for him. My father always gaslights and starts with his I am sh*t and a horrible person rant and goes on to say I sacrificed my life for you 2 and you want to leave. I could not hold it in anymore and I had a huge shouting match with him. He kept saying how we never worked as hard as him and I said it didn’t matter as long as we did because we were family and we still worked hard. He didn’t listen and kept saying how we don’t do anything and that I in particular don’t know how the world works. Oh. My. God. I am so tired of hearing that. I spent most of my life studying and reading I know more than he expects especially now since times have changed from when he was young. Anyways he always tries to scare me with threats of losing funding and I said do it I don’t care. He’s a wuss so I don’t think he will but he also hates losing and would do it out of spite I still don’t care. I just need to know if I actually screwed up and should have stayed silent. I’ll answer any question if needed, so AITAH?