I (teen) enjoy jewelry making as a hobby, and have been doing it for 2 years now, but during this story I was 1 year into the hobby. My mom would sometimes borrow some bracelets from me, which is fine, but she seldom gave them back. I understand that this could be because she is forgetful or plans on wearing them later, but is her response to me asking for them back wrong? One night, while she was saying good night to me, I suddenly remembered that she had some bracelets that I made in her room that she had borrowed a few weeks ago, so I asked her about them and told her to give them back. She seemed a bit surprised by my suddenness, which is fair, and asked me why I wanted them back. In all honesty, I didn’t have a “good” reason for wanting them back (like wanting to wear them tomorrow), so I just told her the truth, that I suddenly remembered that she had asked to borrow them, and that I wanted them back now. She did not like that answer, and got extremely angry at me. She went to her room, grabbed the bracelets I lent to her, and slammed them onto my desk before leaving my room and slamming the door shut. I was confused on why she was angry, and at the time I thought it wasn’t that serious as she often has mood swings or is just angry, so I just went to bed. The next morning, I got up and got ready for my badminton lesson, and I felt bad for making her angry last night, so I went to go give her back the jewelry. However, she was still pissed, and was not accepting the jewelry anymore, and in my opinion, being kinda petty about it. It kinda hurt me, but she often does this when she is in a bad mood so I let it go for a bit and instead went to eat breakfast. While I was eating, my dad came downstairs and asked me why my mom is in such a bad mood. I told him what happened last night, and he told me to go apologize. I was confused on what I did wrong (and I still am), and refused, but he kept pushing me, saying that my mom was crying and sad and kinda guilt tripping me. Then, my mom came down and was crying. My dad tried to comfort her, but she ignored him and pushed him away. She turned to me and talked about how she does everything in this house, how I couldn’t just let her have this one thing, that I was mean and couldn’t even give her the jewelry or help out around the house, etc. (My dad often tried to make me go talk to my mom whenever she was in a bad mood, probably because he was scared of her anger. I don’t remember much from when I was a kid, but I remember that they often would argue, and that my dad would ask me if I wanted them to divorce in the way that’s like “You don’t want me and your mom to divorce, right?” My brother was diagnosed with some mental illness, idk what but likely autism, when he was young, so he always got out of having those conversations.) Growing up, my family never apologized to each other for anything serious. The typical way arguments would go was fight, silence, and move on. My family still doesn’t apologize for anything, which is why I was so confused on why my dad was so insistent. I tried to argue that it wasn’t my fault, and that I just wanted my jewelry back, but he wasn’t listening. He kept pushing me and telling me to apologize and I was crying so much. I eventually stood up to just get it over with, but he basically dragged me to the home office where my mom was, not physically but he was acting so annoyed with my behavior. When I apologized, I felt so humiliated and angry, and my mom didn’t even accept or acknowledge my apology at first. I had to apologize a few times before she even looked at me, and when she finally accepted, I feel like she was talking down at me, like I was a dog who ripped up her favorite pair of shoes. This story may be biased because it was written from only my perspective, but I just want to know if I did anything wrong or if my feelings are valid. Also any advice for a bad mental family life (constant arguments, sibling favoritism, etc.) but a good material life (a nice house, food, clothes, etc.) is very much appreciated.

Hello! Here we are again, back for another ATLA commentary.
Before we get started I do want to point out that I’m numbering and labeling episodes according to how they appear on Netflix. Episode 12, as I understand it, is actually two episodes. However, since they’re presented as one thing here, that’s how I’m watching it.
Brief update on other projects: I thought I’d try watching the first Harry Potter movie, but realized it’s two and a half hours long. That’s, at the bare minimum, five hours of commentary writing. So… yeah, we’re gonna hold off on that lol I’m also considering watching a superhero/comic book show called The Boys, because I accidentally caught part of a trailer for it that my girlfriend was watching and it looks very interesting. I’ll be doing the new Game of Thrones commentary next, not sure when exactly.
Okay, let’s go!
Episode 12- The Secret of the Fire Nation

1. Well that’s a heck of a title! I hope we learn something juicy!

It’s nice to see Aang and Katara bending for fun, thought I’m surprised Aang is so willing to encase himself in a block of ice. You’d think he’d have some trauma from that lol But also, I love Katara’s hair when she lets it down.
Yeah… I’m kind of surprised Aang is taking Appa’s loss as well as he is, considering how he reacted last episode. Since Sokka is talking about walking to Ba Sing Se, I take it they’re not going to be spending time looking for him? But then, didn’t the sandbenders say they sold him to a merchant from Ba Sing Se? Maybe he’s there, and Aang’s banking on that hope.

1. I know I keep applying real-world logic to a cartoon show, but wouldn’t Ba Sing Se get awfully crowded if they’re constantly taking in refugees from the rest of the Earth Kingdom? Iroh put the city under siege for almost two years. What if the Fire Nation does that again? More mouths to feed makes starvation quicker!

Iroh and Zuko are refugees. I still can’t get over that irony lol Hey, it’s Jet! My goodness, he’s onscreen for less than ten seconds and he’s already planning a robbery. He and Zuko are going to get along just fine, aren’t they?
The cabbage merchant! Always a delight to see him and his cabbages! Also hilarious that a bunch of people are impersonating Aang (thought it probably would be less hilarious if any of them met Azula). If passports are necessary, how did Zuko and Iroh get tickets? Also, good on Toph for taking advantage of her privilege lol
Hey! I think that’s Suki! Her eyes are drawn really distinctively and her voice sounds familiar! Two seconds after pressing play: it is Suki! Don’t you just love my long winning streak of figuring things out right before they let us know? Lol

1. Glad to see ATLA Suki appreciates Sokka’s muscles just as much as NATLA Suki lol

Someone took the pregnant family’s tickets and belongings. Is that how Zuko and Iroh got their tickets? Zuko’s robbed families before, so I wouldn’t put it past him.
Well damn, Suki got her armor and makeup on real quick, didn’t she? Hm… Sokka’s worried about her. I think Suki’s going to interpret that as him being sexist again but he’s probably traumatized from losing Yue. He’s been through way too much to still be sexist. If he still had a misogynistic bone in his body, Toph would have beaten it out of him by now.

1. Well the Serpent’s Pass looks terrifying. Also, this pregnant lady took one look at some scratched graffiti saying “Abandon Hope” and immediately started crying, saying “How can we abandon hope? It’s all we have!” Like… come on, lady lol Just because you see graffiti telling you to do something doesn’t mean you have to, otherwise I would have called quite a few people for a good time by now.

Hope is a distraction, huh? I guess I can see the logic of that from a practical application perspective. But it’s kind of a depressing philosophy for a monk to have.
Holy shit! Nope, I would not be walking along a cliff path that narrow! I will build a rowboat and paddle my way to Ba Sing Se.
Toph is really carrying the team (and some refugees too) this episode.

1. There’s a fine line between being protective and being smothering and Sokka has hopped, jumped, and skipped right over it.

Zuko’s not wearing his blue spirit mask. Not that he needs it, he and Jet work together like cogs in a machine. Ironic lol
Ow! Geez, that rejected hug hurt me lol Katara’s right though. Bottling up emotions just makes them worse in the long run. You have to allow yourself to feel bad sometimes. Granted, you can’t fly off the handle like he did last episode, but that’s a reaction. You can control your reactions, but you can’t control your feelings.
“It’s a beautiful moon.” “Yeah, it really is.” Okay, I know Sokka said last episode that Yue is the moon, but he was tripping on peyote. Does he actually believe that Yue is the moon now? Is Yue the moon now? I interpreted her death as he sacrificing herself to bring the moon spirit back to life, not to become the new moon spirit.
“Who is this guy? Is he taller than me?” Dude, we were having a moment. Damn it, just kiss her! Well actually, the moon’s right there so if Yue really did turn into the new moon spirit, it might be a tad awkward to kiss in front of her. But what’s he gonna do, only ever show intimacy during the day?

1. Um… I’m probably reading too much into this Smellerbee scene with Iroh and Longshot and I’m almost hesitant to say what I’m thinking because I can just imagine the backlash I could get for voicing it. And it’s not like ATLA has had great LGBTQ representation up to this point, so… Yeah, I’m probably just seeing things that aren’t there.

You know, I’ve never really cared a lot about Jet as a character (in fact, I’m kind of surprised to see him again. I figured he’d be a one-off character) but I am really enjoying his scenes with Zuko and Iroh. They have so much in common, which is probably the point of this whole juxtaposition. If he only knew who they really were lol
Of course Iroh believes in second chances. He’s the best. And also, he’s living proof that some people deserve a second chance.

1. Uh… Katara parting the sea while leading refugees to safety invokes a certain comparison, doesn’t it? But can I just say that I love how her solution to crossing the gap is to literally walk through the ocean instead of making a raft out of ice and floating across. She just never misses an opportunity to flex on everyone, does she? Lol

Momo continuing his pattern of trying to kill every small animal he sees is something I’ve come to treasure.
Is that the unagi?! I think that’s what it’s called/spelled but I haven’t seen that episode in a while. It would be fitting if Suki and the sea serpent both share the same episodes lol No that’s not the unagi. It’s a different color. Um… what exactly was Sokka planning to do if the sea serpent actually accepted his offer and ate Momo? Considering how he reacted to losing Appa, I don’t think Aang would be too happy with him.
Oh, now she’s making an ice bridge. Not as much of a flex as maintaining an air bubble so they plumb the depths but it is faster. Oh, Toph can’t see on ice. And she can’t swim? An earthbender not being able to swim feels like a stereotype for some reason, even though I have absolutely no reason to think that lol
“You can go ahead and let me drown now.” That’s gonna be a favorite joke of mine, I just know it lol And I’m pretty sure this is probably a jumping point for a Sokka/Toph ship. What does the community call that? Soph? Tokka? (How old is Toph, anyway? Probably Aang’s age, right? That’s… probably not an appropriate ship then)

1. Why does Ba Sing Se’s wall remind me of The Wall from Game of Thrones? Obviously not made of ice though lol

Okay, time for ATLA’s viewers to experience the miracle of childbirth!

1. Like I said earlier, ATLA isn’t heavy on the LGBTQ representation, but I swear I’m picking up on some tension and chemistry between Jet and Zuko (Juko? Jeko? Zet?). And now half of Jet’s little group is an LGBTQ allegory for me lol Even the dialogue between Jet and Zuko in this scene is slightly suggestive.

So… can Katara waterbend the baby out or…
Baby Hope, eh? Probably not a super common name in this world.
Oh? Was that Aang’s way of telling Katara he loves her without actually saying it? Aww. And hey, he’s heading off on his own to search for Appa. Which… honestly kind of feels like he should have been doing that this whole time lol
Yes! Get some, Sokka! Wait, nevermind. I fucking hate that line. Ugh No! I’m not gonna be a bitter old lady on this watch-through! They’re kissing and it’s very sweet and I love that for them!
Um… there’s a giant metal dildo on the way to penetrate Ba Sing Se! Lol but seriously, how technologically advanced is the Fire Nation? A giant mobile drill of that scale would be a marvel of engineering even by our modern standards.

1. Well hey, there’s the title card letting me know when the next episode starts.

Woah, the way the drill moves is so cool! I’m legitimately wondering if such a thing would actually be possible in our world with our physics. I don’t know why we would want to, but still. And of course Azula’s leading this attack. She gets all the best opportunities. And she’s smart too! The war minister guy is dismissive of the earthbenders, believing his drill to be impervious to earthbending attacks. You can practically smell the hubris. But Azula leaves nothing to chance and she sends her girls out to neutralize any potential threat.
And this is why we love Azula. She’s not just a scary villain, she’s a competent villain.

1. And the Earth Kingdom general shares the War Minister’s hubris. Why are the people in charge always the worst people to be in charge? Also, I love that Toph is the one to point out that Iroh broke through the wall.

So the Earth Kingdom’s elite Terra Team force were taken out by two teenage nonbenders from the Fire Nation in about twenty seconds. How have they lasted this long? Lol (I say two, but let’s be honest. Ty Lee’s doing the heavy lifting here)
Yes! I love that they acknowledge Sokka as the “Idea Guy”!
Iroh has got rizz for days lol I’m kind of surprised he only ever had one son. Jet wants to recruit Zuko. I’m totally down for that! They’re such an interesting pair!

1. I really love that Katara, whose probably the best waterbender in the world at this point, respects Ty Lee enough to recognize how dangerous she is. And Sokka had an idea! They’re going to take down the drill from the inside. Because how the hell else are they going to stop something that big?

Again with the underestimation! I swear Azula’s the only competent person in the entire Fire Nation military since Iroh retired.
Okay, engineer Sokka figured it out. It’s all a little too easy, isn’t it?

1. Ah shit, Jet just realized the truth, because Iroh used firebending to heat up his tea lol I think he’s getting a little too relaxed.

Okay, just the fact that they slice through metal with water at all is pretty impressive. And the drill has reached the wall, and Azula still doesn’t look impressed.
Oh yeah, I guess this is a pretty high stakes battle for them, huh? If they lose Ba Sing Se, they basically lose the entire Earth Kingdom, right? Omashu’s already fallen, the smaller villages and whatnot have no real defense. Ba Sing Se is the last big puzzle piece to world domination (aside from the water tribes, but they’re so isolated they’re not really a threat).
I love that Toph’s nickname for Aang is Twinkle Toes. Also I laughed at the War Minister’s face when he was side-eyeing Azula just then. +That’s the face of a man who’s about to be punished!

1. lol Sokka’s the only one with more rizz than Iroh! Maybe a legitimate battle strategy here would be to woo Ty Lee into switching sides? Aside from Azula she seems to be the most dangerous one. No offense to Mai, but she is kind of the odd woman out here.

Oh please let me get Aang and Azula 1v1! I really badly want to see how he fares against her without everyone else helping him. He’ll probably have to use the Avatar State to defeat her.
Ty Lee dives into the slurry after Katara and Sokka while Mai refuses. Yeah, Mai is the weak link here in Ozai’s Angels (I love that name, by the way).

1. Did Aang seriously think the general was going to hear him from that high up? Lol Toph’s helping Katara bend the slurry (how convenient that it’s both water and earth!). Ty Lee’s still trapped in it and the drill is about to blow. If I hadn’t learned my lesson on the last post, I’d probably be worried she might die in the explosion. But this is a kid’s show, she’ll be fine.

Here we go! Aang vs Azula! Her fighting style is so elegant. Every move she makes feels on purpose, if that makes sense. Like, whenever Aang fought Zuko, Zhao, or NPC firebenders their style is a little more chaotic and fearsome and rawr, you know? But Azula’s totally calm. Everything she’s doing feels calculated, and it’s working! If she hadn’t had to dodge that boulder after blasting Aang back she might have been able to deliver a finishing blow!
She beat him! He’s unconscious! Okay, well not anymore lol See… that right there was hubris (actually, it was kid’s show writing but whatever)! He was out for like fifteen seconds. She should have roasted him where he lay instead of picking him up and gloating.
Another fight with Azula ends in a draw with neither one beating the other! I’m starting to get a little peeved with all this edging lol but that was great! Azula is an absolute beast!

1. Okay, the way Aang hammered that rock spike into the drill was pretty epic. Mai’s “We lost” (and thank you for your contribution to the fight, Mai lol) is interesting. It’s true, they did lose. Not in the combat sense, Aang couldn’t beat Azula, but he didn’t have to. He just had to hold her off. Maybe that’s kind of a metaphor for the Fire Nation military in general. It’s very powerful, but it’s also marred by incompetence and weaknesses. Many of its generals are prideful and blind to their own weaknesses, or just outright incompetent. Look at this fight: even Mai just kind of gave up halfway through. If Ty Lee wasn’t trapped in the slurry, she might very well have been able to beat Katara, Sokka, and Toph, especially since they don’t Appa this time to bail them out. And if Mai had been with her, she might have been to break Katara’s concentration with a thrown weapon, thus freeing Ty Lee from the slurry.

I wondered how the Earth Kingdom lasted so long and maybe that’s just it. They can’t beat the Fire Nation, but they don’t have to. They just have to hold them off and the Fire Nation’s own shortcomings will end up beating themselves. It’s a hundred year stalemate.

1. Looks like Jet’s going to be causing a problem for Iroh and Zuko. I wonder if his relationship with them is what’s going to finally let him realize that not all Fire Nation people are inherently evil?

Hey, that’s Baby Hope! And Iroh gets to fawn over her too and I love that for him. You know, if Aang defeats the Fire Nation in a timely manner, Hope might actually get to grow up in a world at peace. Well, kind of. I’m sure there’s going to be massive issues with racism from generations of propaganda painting the other side as inhuman, huge demands for reparations, not to mention the territories the Fire Nation currently occupies. It’s been so long that there must be at least two generations of Fire Nation citizens who were born in and grew up in the Earth Kingdom, and I’m sure there’s been interbreeding with the Earth Kingdom people, because that’s what always happens with colonizers. Once they become established, genocide is pretty much the only way to get rid of them, and I doubt the Avatar is going to allow that.
So Hope’s probably going to grow up in pretty interesting times!
Um… is Ba Sing Se a city or is it a little walled country? Cuz all I see are farms and plains!
Katara, I love you, but you’re wrong. Team Avatar is going to catch on because it’s awesome, and that’s that.
Episode 13- City of Walls and Secrets

1. Oh, there’s an inner wall. So Ba Sing Se is kind of like the country in Attack on Titan! Oh yeah, in all of the excitement I almost forgot about Appa. Seriously, how many episodes has he been missing now? Damn, now that’s a city!

Yeah… something’s up with Joo Dee.
Walls inside that help maintain order? You mean walls that protect the rich and elite from the dirty poors? Lol Oh, Katara just confirmed it. They pen up all the poor people into a walled ghetto.

1. lol when Iroh’s talking about someone bringing home a lady friend, does he mean himself? Or Zuko? It is really interesting how their views of Ba Sing Se differ though. Iroh’s talking about getting a home, socializing, building a life, and he’s even found them jobs! Zuko sees the same situation as a prison.

Well, I’m glad Jet’s turning over a new leaf by letting the authorities handle things. Too bad I don’t trust the authorities to be any better.
Toph knows what’s up. Joo Dee is purposefully brushing Sokka off and distracting the group. I’m not sure why at the moment, but something is clearly up.

1. Of course they’re going to work in a tea shop! Lol Zuko’s right btw, all tea is hot leaf juice. Well, except for the teas that are hot root juice.

The cultural authority of Ba Sing Se, who guard their traditions and are called the Dai Li. Yeah… maybe it’s my conservative religious upbringing but when I hear about people “guarding their traditions” I immediately think of abuse, propaganda, and oppression. Generally people who are obsessed with traditions tend to be conservatives, who by their very nature cannot allow progress or improvement.
Someone important is trying to keep them under constant surveillance and prevent them from seeing the Earth King. In NATLA, there were spies in Omashu. Since Ba Sing Se is much bigger and more important, I imagine it’s riddled with Fire Nation spies as well, and somebody high ranking might be a traitor.

1. Joo Dee is kind of scary lol and clearly the citizens are terrified of her. But what’s interesting to me is that she’s preventing them from giving information about Appa, which suggests that whoever is stopping them from seeing the Earth King also has Appa. But why? What would be the point of keeping Aang away from Appa? Is it to restrict his mobility and make him easier to capture?

So people aren’t allowed to talk about the war, and the Dai Li seem to be responsible. But why? If everyone knows there’s a war going on anyway, why keep people from talking about it?
It’s lucky that Iroh borrowed his neighbor’s spark rocks, but why would he refrain from firebending in what he assumes is privacy? Unless he knows he’s being watched.

1. Huh, is the king’s pet bear the first normal animal on the show? Lol I am digging this undercover plan though.

I love that this show lets its characters try on different looks from time to time, even if they are mostly the same outfits. Katara and Toph’s high society get-ups are gorgeous!
The lost boys- I mean, freedom fighters are turning on Peter Pa- I mean, Jet. The weird thing is… he’s right! They are firebenders! But his behavior still isn’t healthy!

1. Okay, let’s go! Jet’s hurling accusations and attacking them in public! And now Zuko’s fighting back with swords. It’s the duel of the dual-wielders! Honestly, this is probably good for Zuko. He needs to blow off some steam after everything he’s been through.

Well how about that? Security at the palace is actually competent and Toph can’t bluff her way in.
This Long Feng guy is cultural minister to the king, which means he’s probably the bad guy! And also we haven’t met any other high ranking government officials with names, so he’s currently the only option lol

1. Geez, Zuko straight up intended to decapitate Jet right there. If Jet were a little slower, he would have! Man, I hope they do this fight scene in NATLA.

Uh-oh, scary lady Joo Dee is the scared one now. But can I just say how much I like her facial expressions?
Yeah… can’t blame them for arresting Jet. He did look like a crazy person.
The Dai Li’s specific brand of earthbending is very cool! It almost doesn’t seem like bending at all, if that makes sense. The stones they use are like a part of their own body. And of course Long Feng is their leader.
Okay I get the king is just a puppet and Long Feng is the real rule of the country, but I still don’t understand why he doesn’t allow mention of the war in the city. I mean, it’s common knowledge! A significant portion of their population are literally refugees fleeing war! Who doesn’t know
Oh… is it the king? Does the king just not know there’s a war happening and Long Feng keeps it from him so he can stay in charge? I mean, that’s still a stretch but it would explain why he doesn’t want Team Avatar talking to the king.

1. Jet is being hypnotized. Also, I do want to point out that I have seen “There is no (whatever) in Ba Sing Se” many times in the wild lol it’s nice to see where it comes from!

Ah… Long Feng is holding Appa as leverage over Aang.
I didn’t think Joo Dee could be any scarier but here we are! This episode almost has horror movie vibes.
Concluding thoughts: This was a fantastic couple/throuple of episodes! I loved seeing Suki again, and I really enjoyed how the refugee subplot ties so perfectly in with Iroh and Zuko. The whole drill sequence was probably the best “action” the show has had thus far and that’s saying something. It’s also nice to have my suspicions that the Earth Kingdom has its own corruption problems and bad guys confirmed.
I have a new theory to replace my “Iroh’s going to die theory”. They’ve been showing us all season how Zuko isn’t really cut out for life on the run, whereas Iroh embraces it. I think they’re driving to a separation between Zuko and Iroh. He may not have died, but narratively speaking Zuko and Iroh have to part ways permanently or semi-permanently for his character to grow. Iroh has been propping him up and supporting him this whole time, now it’s time for Zuko to leave the nest and become his own person.
My new theory is that Iroh will enjoy his new life in Ba Sing Se so much that he elects to stay there permanently, whereas Zuko is too restless to do so. He can’t go back to the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom will not accept him, so his only choice is to join Team Avatar, where he will likely end up teaching Aang firebending.
And to expand further on a previous theory of mine, which was: Azula will kill or depose Ozai. I’ve accepted at this point that death is off the table. Kid’s show and all that. But I noticed something… lots of people were quick to say that Azula would never kill Ozai. But not one person has said she wouldn’t depose him in those refutations (unless I’m misremembering but I don’t think I am). Since you all know not to hint at things or spoil them, I think your eagerness to point out that she won’t kill Ozai is an attempt to mislead me into thinking the whole theory is wrong so I’ll be surprised when she ends up deposing (not killing) him. I mean, I could be wrong but I have a strong feeling that the final villain is going to be Fire Lord Azula, with Ozai in exile somewhere (that would be fitting! The man who banishes his own son ends up being banished himself!).
Maybe that will even be the conclusion of Zuko’s arc! While Aang goes off to save the world from Azula, Zuko splits up to confront Ozai himself! Where we are in the show right now, it really does feel like Azula is Aang’s primary antagonist whereas Ozai is Zuko’s primary antagonist.
By the way, from here on out, no confirming or denying my theories either way, okay? Let it unfold naturally, and let me figure things out on my own. I mean, where’s the fun in just giving me the answers?
And also, some of you could be a little nicer with your criticisms. I had to block someone last time I posted and I don’t want to do that anymore. It’s fine to disagree with me, it’s fine to explain why you disagree with me. Hell, most of you do! I don’t mind that, I like that we all have different views of things even if I don’t agree. It makes things interesting! But don’t talk down to me, don’t use belittling language, don’t be disrespectful. Whenever I don’t like something about ATLA (or like something about NATLA) some of you seem to take it as a personal insult or something.
Just be polite, that’s all I ask.
Okay, I’ll see you same time next week probably!

Hello! Here we are again, back for another ATLA commentary.
Before we get started I do want to point out that I’m numbering and labeling episodes according to how they appear on Netflix. Episode 12, as I understand it, is actually two episodes. However, since they’re presented as one thing here, that’s how I’m watching it.
Brief update on other projects: I thought I’d try watching the first Harry Potter movie, but realized it’s two and a half hours long. That’s, at the bare minimum, five hours of commentary writing. So… yeah, we’re gonna hold off on that lol I’m also considering watching a superhero/comic book show called The Boys, because I accidentally caught part of a trailer for it that my girlfriend was watching and it looks very interesting. I’ll be doing the new Game of Thrones commentary next, not sure when exactly.
Okay, let’s go!
Episode 12- The Secret of the Fire Nation

1. Well that’s a heck of a title! I hope we learn something juicy!

It’s nice to see Aang and Katara bending for fun, thought I’m surprised Aang is so willing to encase himself in a block of ice. You’d think he’d have some trauma from that lol But also, I love Katara’s hair when she lets it down.
Yeah… I’m kind of surprised Aang is taking Appa’s loss as well as he is, considering how he reacted last episode. Since Sokka is talking about walking to Ba Sing Se, I take it they’re not going to be spending time looking for him? But then, didn’t the sandbenders say they sold him to a merchant from Ba Sing Se? Maybe he’s there, and Aang’s banking on that hope.

1. I know I keep applying real-world logic to a cartoon show, but wouldn’t Ba Sing Se get awfully crowded if they’re constantly taking in refugees from the rest of the Earth Kingdom? Iroh put the city under siege for almost two years. What if the Fire Nation does that again? More mouths to feed makes starvation quicker!

Iroh and Zuko are refugees. I still can’t get over that irony lol Hey, it’s Jet! My goodness, he’s onscreen for less than ten seconds and he’s already planning a robbery. He and Zuko are going to get along just fine, aren’t they?
The cabbage merchant! Always a delight to see him and his cabbages! Also hilarious that a bunch of people are impersonating Aang (thought it probably would be less hilarious if any of them met Azula). If passports are necessary, how did Zuko and Iroh get tickets? Also, good on Toph for taking advantage of her privilege lol
Hey! I think that’s Suki! Her eyes are drawn really distinctively and her voice sounds familiar! Two seconds after pressing play: it is Suki! Don’t you just love my long winning streak of figuring things out right before they let us know? Lol

1. Glad to see ATLA Suki appreciates Sokka’s muscles just as much as NATLA Suki lol

Someone took the pregnant family’s tickets and belongings. Is that how Zuko and Iroh got their tickets? Zuko’s robbed families before, so I wouldn’t put it past him.
Well damn, Suki got her armor and makeup on real quick, didn’t she? Hm… Sokka’s worried about her. I think Suki’s going to interpret that as him being sexist again but he’s probably traumatized from losing Yue. He’s been through way too much to still be sexist. If he still had a misogynistic bone in his body, Toph would have beaten it out of him by now.

1. Well the Serpent’s Pass looks terrifying. Also, this pregnant lady took one look at some scratched graffiti saying “Abandon Hope” and immediately started crying, saying “How can we abandon hope? It’s all we have!” Like… come on, lady lol Just because you see graffiti telling you to do something doesn’t mean you have to, otherwise I would have called quite a few people for a good time by now.

Hope is a distraction, huh? I guess I can see the logic of that from a practical application perspective. But it’s kind of a depressing philosophy for a monk to have.
Holy shit! Nope, I would not be walking along a cliff path that narrow! I will build a rowboat and paddle my way to Ba Sing Se.
Toph is really carrying the team (and some refugees too) this episode.

1. There’s a fine line between being protective and being smothering and Sokka has hopped, jumped, and skipped right over it.

Zuko’s not wearing his blue spirit mask. Not that he needs it, he and Jet work together like cogs in a machine. Ironic lol
Ow! Geez, that rejected hug hurt me lol Katara’s right though. Bottling up emotions just makes them worse in the long run. You have to allow yourself to feel bad sometimes. Granted, you can’t fly off the handle like he did last episode, but that’s a reaction. You can control your reactions, but you can’t control your feelings.
“It’s a beautiful moon.” “Yeah, it really is.” Okay, I know Sokka said last episode that Yue is the moon, but he was tripping on peyote. Does he actually believe that Yue is the moon now? Is Yue the moon now? I interpreted her death as he sacrificing herself to bring the moon spirit back to life, not to become the new moon spirit.
“Who is this guy? Is he taller than me?” Dude, we were having a moment. Damn it, just kiss her! Well actually, the moon’s right there so if Yue really did turn into the new moon spirit, it might be a tad awkward to kiss in front of her. But what’s he gonna do, only ever show intimacy during the day?

1. Um… I’m probably reading too much into this Smellerbee scene with Iroh and Longshot and I’m almost hesitant to say what I’m thinking because I can just imagine the backlash I could get for voicing it. And it’s not like ATLA has had great LGBTQ representation up to this point, so… Yeah, I’m probably just seeing things that aren’t there.

You know, I’ve never really cared a lot about Jet as a character (in fact, I’m kind of surprised to see him again. I figured he’d be a one-off character) but I am really enjoying his scenes with Zuko and Iroh. They have so much in common, which is probably the point of this whole juxtaposition. If he only knew who they really were lol
Of course Iroh believes in second chances. He’s the best. And also, he’s living proof that some people deserve a second chance.

1. Uh… Katara parting the sea while leading refugees to safety invokes a certain comparison, doesn’t it? But can I just say that I love how her solution to crossing the gap is to literally walk through the ocean instead of making a raft out of ice and floating across. She just never misses an opportunity to flex on everyone, does she? Lol

Momo continuing his pattern of trying to kill every small animal he sees is something I’ve come to treasure.
Is that the unagi?! I think that’s what it’s called/spelled but I haven’t seen that episode in a while. It would be fitting if Suki and the sea serpent both share the same episodes lol No that’s not the unagi. It’s a different color. Um… what exactly was Sokka planning to do if the sea serpent actually accepted his offer and ate Momo? Considering how he reacted to losing Appa, I don’t think Aang would be too happy with him.
Oh, now she’s making an ice bridge. Not as much of a flex as maintaining an air bubble so they plumb the depths but it is faster. Oh, Toph can’t see on ice. And she can’t swim? An earthbender not being able to swim feels like a stereotype for some reason, even though I have absolutely no reason to think that lol
“You can go ahead and let me drown now.” That’s gonna be a favorite joke of mine, I just know it lol And I’m pretty sure this is probably a jumping point for a Sokka/Toph ship. What does the community call that? Soph? Tokka? (How old is Toph, anyway? Probably Aang’s age, right? That’s… probably not an appropriate ship then)

1. Why does Ba Sing Se’s wall remind me of The Wall from Game of Thrones? Obviously not made of ice though lol

Okay, time for ATLA’s viewers to experience the miracle of childbirth!

1. Like I said earlier, ATLA isn’t heavy on the LGBTQ representation, but I swear I’m picking up on some tension and chemistry between Jet and Zuko (Juko? Jeko? Zet?). And now half of Jet’s little group is an LGBTQ allegory for me lol Even the dialogue between Jet and Zuko in this scene is slightly suggestive.

So… can Katara waterbend the baby out or…
Baby Hope, eh? Probably not a super common name in this world.
Oh? Was that Aang’s way of telling Katara he loves her without actually saying it? Aww. And hey, he’s heading off on his own to search for Appa. Which… honestly kind of feels like he should have been doing that this whole time lol
Yes! Get some, Sokka! Wait, nevermind. I fucking hate that line. Ugh No! I’m not gonna be a bitter old lady on this watch-through! They’re kissing and it’s very sweet and I love that for them!
Um… there’s a giant metal dildo on the way to penetrate Ba Sing Se! Lol but seriously, how technologically advanced is the Fire Nation? A giant mobile drill of that scale would be a marvel of engineering even by our modern standards.

1. Well hey, there’s the title card letting me know when the next episode starts.

Woah, the way the drill moves is so cool! I’m legitimately wondering if such a thing would actually be possible in our world with our physics. I don’t know why we would want to, but still. And of course Azula’s leading this attack. She gets all the best opportunities. And she’s smart too! The war minister guy is dismissive of the earthbenders, believing his drill to be impervious to earthbending attacks. You can practically smell the hubris. But Azula leaves nothing to chance and she sends her girls out to neutralize any potential threat.
And this is why we love Azula. She’s not just a scary villain, she’s a competent villain.

1. And the Earth Kingdom general shares the War Minister’s hubris. Why are the people in charge always the worst people to be in charge? Also, I love that Toph is the one to point out that Iroh broke through the wall.

So the Earth Kingdom’s elite Terra Team force were taken out by two teenage nonbenders from the Fire Nation in about twenty seconds. How have they lasted this long? Lol (I say two, but let’s be honest. Ty Lee’s doing the heavy lifting here)
Yes! I love that they acknowledge Sokka as the “Idea Guy”!
Iroh has got rizz for days lol I’m kind of surprised he only ever had one son. Jet wants to recruit Zuko. I’m totally down for that! They’re such an interesting pair!

1. I really love that Katara, whose probably the best waterbender in the world at this point, respects Ty Lee enough to recognize how dangerous she is. And Sokka had an idea! They’re going to take down the drill from the inside. Because how the hell else are they going to stop something that big?

Again with the underestimation! I swear Azula’s the only competent person in the entire Fire Nation military since Iroh retired.
Okay, engineer Sokka figured it out. It’s all a little too easy, isn’t it?

1. Ah shit, Jet just realized the truth, because Iroh used firebending to heat up his tea lol I think he’s getting a little too relaxed.

Okay, just the fact that they slice through metal with water at all is pretty impressive. And the drill has reached the wall, and Azula still doesn’t look impressed.
Oh yeah, I guess this is a pretty high stakes battle for them, huh? If they lose Ba Sing Se, they basically lose the entire Earth Kingdom, right? Omashu’s already fallen, the smaller villages and whatnot have no real defense. Ba Sing Se is the last big puzzle piece to world domination (aside from the water tribes, but they’re so isolated they’re not really a threat).
I love that Toph’s nickname for Aang is Twinkle Toes. Also I laughed at the War Minister’s face when he was side-eyeing Azula just then. +That’s the face of a man who’s about to be punished!

1. lol Sokka’s the only one with more rizz than Iroh! Maybe a legitimate battle strategy here would be to woo Ty Lee into switching sides? Aside from Azula she seems to be the most dangerous one. No offense to Mai, but she is kind of the odd woman out here.

Oh please let me get Aang and Azula 1v1! I really badly want to see how he fares against her without everyone else helping him. He’ll probably have to use the Avatar State to defeat her.
Ty Lee dives into the slurry after Katara and Sokka while Mai refuses. Yeah, Mai is the weak link here in Ozai’s Angels (I love that name, by the way).

1. Did Aang seriously think the general was going to hear him from that high up? Lol Toph’s helping Katara bend the slurry (how convenient that it’s both water and earth!). Ty Lee’s still trapped in it and the drill is about to blow. If I hadn’t learned my lesson on the last post, I’d probably be worried she might die in the explosion. But this is a kid’s show, she’ll be fine.

Here we go! Aang vs Azula! Her fighting style is so elegant. Every move she makes feels on purpose, if that makes sense. Like, whenever Aang fought Zuko, Zhao, or NPC firebenders their style is a little more chaotic and fearsome and rawr, you know? But Azula’s totally calm. Everything she’s doing feels calculated, and it’s working! If she hadn’t had to dodge that boulder after blasting Aang back she might have been able to deliver a finishing blow!
She beat him! He’s unconscious! Okay, well not anymore lol See… that right there was hubris (actually, it was kid’s show writing but whatever)! He was out for like fifteen seconds. She should have roasted him where he lay instead of picking him up and gloating.
Another fight with Azula ends in a draw with neither one beating the other! I’m starting to get a little peeved with all this edging lol but that was great! Azula is an absolute beast!

1. Okay, the way Aang hammered that rock spike into the drill was pretty epic. Mai’s “We lost” (and thank you for your contribution to the fight, Mai lol) is interesting. It’s true, they did lose. Not in the combat sense, Aang couldn’t beat Azula, but he didn’t have to. He just had to hold her off. Maybe that’s kind of a metaphor for the Fire Nation military in general. It’s very powerful, but it’s also marred by incompetence and weaknesses. Many of its generals are prideful and blind to their own weaknesses, or just outright incompetent. Look at this fight: even Mai just kind of gave up halfway through. If Ty Lee wasn’t trapped in the slurry, she might very well have been able to beat Katara, Sokka, and Toph, especially since they don’t Appa this time to bail them out. And if Mai had been with her, she might have been to break Katara’s concentration with a thrown weapon, thus freeing Ty Lee from the slurry.

I wondered how the Earth Kingdom lasted so long and maybe that’s just it. They can’t beat the Fire Nation, but they don’t have to. They just have to hold them off and the Fire Nation’s own shortcomings will end up beating themselves. It’s a hundred year stalemate.

1. Looks like Jet’s going to be causing a problem for Iroh and Zuko. I wonder if his relationship with them is what’s going to finally let him realize that not all Fire Nation people are inherently evil?

Hey, that’s Baby Hope! And Iroh gets to fawn over her too and I love that for him. You know, if Aang defeats the Fire Nation in a timely manner, Hope might actually get to grow up in a world at peace. Well, kind of. I’m sure there’s going to be massive issues with racism from generations of propaganda painting the other side as inhuman, huge demands for reparations, not to mention the territories the Fire Nation currently occupies. It’s been so long that there must be at least two generations of Fire Nation citizens who were born in and grew up in the Earth Kingdom, and I’m sure there’s been interbreeding with the Earth Kingdom people, because that’s what always happens with colonizers. Once they become established, genocide is pretty much the only way to get rid of them, and I doubt the Avatar is going to allow that.
So Hope’s probably going to grow up in pretty interesting times!
Um… is Ba Sing Se a city or is it a little walled country? Cuz all I see are farms and plains!
Katara, I love you, but you’re wrong. Team Avatar is going to catch on because it’s awesome, and that’s that.
Episode 13- City of Walls and Secrets

1. Oh, there’s an inner wall. So Ba Sing Se is kind of like the country in Attack on Titan! Oh yeah, in all of the excitement I almost forgot about Appa. Seriously, how many episodes has he been missing now? Damn, now that’s a city!

Yeah… something’s up with Joo Dee.
Walls inside that help maintain order? You mean walls that protect the rich and elite from the dirty poors? Lol Oh, Katara just confirmed it. They pen up all the poor people into a walled ghetto.

1. lol when Iroh’s talking about someone bringing home a lady friend, does he mean himself? Or Zuko? It is really interesting how their views of Ba Sing Se differ though. Iroh’s talking about getting a home, socializing, building a life, and he’s even found them jobs! Zuko sees the same situation as a prison.

Well, I’m glad Jet’s turning over a new leaf by letting the authorities handle things. Too bad I don’t trust the authorities to be any better.
Toph knows what’s up. Joo Dee is purposefully brushing Sokka off and distracting the group. I’m not sure why at the moment, but something is clearly up.

1. Of course they’re going to work in a tea shop! Lol Zuko’s right btw, all tea is hot leaf juice. Well, except for the teas that are hot root juice.

The cultural authority of Ba Sing Se, who guard their traditions and are called the Dai Li. Yeah… maybe it’s my conservative religious upbringing but when I hear about people “guarding their traditions” I immediately think of abuse, propaganda, and oppression. Generally people who are obsessed with traditions tend to be conservatives, who by their very nature cannot allow progress or improvement.
Someone important is trying to keep them under constant surveillance and prevent them from seeing the Earth King. In NATLA, there were spies in Omashu. Since Ba Sing Se is much bigger and more important, I imagine it’s riddled with Fire Nation spies as well, and somebody high ranking might be a traitor.

1. Joo Dee is kind of scary lol and clearly the citizens are terrified of her. But what’s interesting to me is that she’s preventing them from giving information about Appa, which suggests that whoever is stopping them from seeing the Earth King also has Appa. But why? What would be the point of keeping Aang away from Appa? Is it to restrict his mobility and make him easier to capture?

So people aren’t allowed to talk about the war, and the Dai Li seem to be responsible. But why? If everyone knows there’s a war going on anyway, why keep people from talking about it?
It’s lucky that Iroh borrowed his neighbor’s spark rocks, but why would he refrain from firebending in what he assumes is privacy? Unless he knows he’s being watched.

1. Huh, is the king’s pet bear the first normal animal on the show? Lol I am digging this undercover plan though.

I love that this show lets its characters try on different looks from time to time, even if they are mostly the same outfits. Katara and Toph’s high society get-ups are gorgeous!
The lost boys- I mean, freedom fighters are turning on Peter Pa- I mean, Jet. The weird thing is… he’s right! They are firebenders! But his behavior still isn’t healthy!

1. Okay, let’s go! Jet’s hurling accusations and attacking them in public! And now Zuko’s fighting back with swords. It’s the duel of the dual-wielders! Honestly, this is probably good for Zuko. He needs to blow off some steam after everything he’s been through.

Well how about that? Security at the palace is actually competent and Toph can’t bluff her way in.
This Long Feng guy is cultural minister to the king, which means he’s probably the bad guy! And also we haven’t met any other high ranking government officials with names, so he’s currently the only option lol

1. Geez, Zuko straight up intended to decapitate Jet right there. If Jet were a little slower, he would have! Man, I hope they do this fight scene in NATLA.

Uh-oh, scary lady Joo Dee is the scared one now. But can I just say how much I like her facial expressions?
Yeah… can’t blame them for arresting Jet. He did look like a crazy person.
The Dai Li’s specific brand of earthbending is very cool! It almost doesn’t seem like bending at all, if that makes sense. The stones they use are like a part of their own body. And of course Long Feng is their leader.
Okay I get the king is just a puppet and Long Feng is the real rule of the country, but I still don’t understand why he doesn’t allow mention of the war in the city. I mean, it’s common knowledge! A significant portion of their population are literally refugees fleeing war! Who doesn’t know
Oh… is it the king? Does the king just not know there’s a war happening and Long Feng keeps it from him so he can stay in charge? I mean, that’s still a stretch but it would explain why he doesn’t want Team Avatar talking to the king.

1. Jet is being hypnotized. Also, I do want to point out that I have seen “There is no (whatever) in Ba Sing Se” many times in the wild lol it’s nice to see where it comes from!

Ah… Long Feng is holding Appa as leverage over Aang.
I didn’t think Joo Dee could be any scarier but here we are! This episode almost has horror movie vibes.
Concluding thoughts: This was a fantastic couple/throuple of episodes! I loved seeing Suki again, and I really enjoyed how the refugee subplot ties so perfectly in with Iroh and Zuko. The whole drill sequence was probably the best “action” the show has had thus far and that’s saying something. It’s also nice to have my suspicions that the Earth Kingdom has its own corruption problems and bad guys confirmed.
I have a new theory to replace my “Iroh’s going to die theory”. They’ve been showing us all season how Zuko isn’t really cut out for life on the run, whereas Iroh embraces it. I think they’re driving to a separation between Zuko and Iroh. He may not have died, but narratively speaking Zuko and Iroh have to part ways permanently or semi-permanently for his character to grow. Iroh has been propping him up and supporting him this whole time, now it’s time for Zuko to leave the nest and become his own person.
My new theory is that Iroh will enjoy his new life in Ba Sing Se so much that he elects to stay there permanently, whereas Zuko is too restless to do so. He can’t go back to the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom will not accept him, so his only choice is to join Team Avatar, where he will likely end up teaching Aang firebending.
And to expand further on a previous theory of mine, which was: Azula will kill or depose Ozai. I’ve accepted at this point that death is off the table. Kid’s show and all that. But I noticed something… lots of people were quick to say that Azula would never kill Ozai. But not one person has said she wouldn’t depose him in those refutations (unless I’m misremembering but I don’t think I am). Since you all know not to hint at things or spoil them, I think your eagerness to point out that she won’t kill Ozai is an attempt to mislead me into thinking the whole theory is wrong so I’ll be surprised when she ends up deposing (not killing) him. I mean, I could be wrong but I have a strong feeling that the final villain is going to be Fire Lord Azula, with Ozai in exile somewhere (that would be fitting! The man who banishes his own son ends up being banished himself!).
Maybe that will even be the conclusion of Zuko’s arc! While Aang goes off to save the world from Azula, Zuko splits up to confront Ozai himself! Where we are in the show right now, it really does feel like Azula is Aang’s primary antagonist whereas Ozai is Zuko’s primary antagonist.
By the way, from here on out, no confirming or denying my theories either way, okay? Let it unfold naturally, and let me figure things out on my own. I mean, where’s the fun in just giving me the answers?
And also, some of you could be a little nicer with your criticisms. I had to block someone last time I posted and I don’t want to do that anymore. It’s fine to disagree with me, it’s fine to explain why you disagree with me. Hell, most of you do! I don’t mind that, I like that we all have different views of things even if I don’t agree. It makes things interesting! But don’t talk down to me, don’t use belittling language, don’t be disrespectful. Whenever I don’t like something about ATLA (or like something about NATLA) some of you seem to take it as a personal insult or something.
Just be polite, that’s all I ask.
Okay, I’ll see you same time next week probably!

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[REQ] ($700) (#Ames, IA, USA) (Repay $900 in 300 installments on on 1/08/20, 1/23/20, 2/08/20) (PayPal)

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Still in search of a loan to cover my rent for the month of December. I'm not sure if it's the fact that I'm a first time borrower, or because of my account history, but reddit was mostly reading for me. Happy to answer any questions or concerns from prospective lenders.
My property manager has given me an extention through 12/20/19 5PM to get a portion of the rent paid in order for me to avoid eviction proceedings.
I got into this situation by getting railroaded by my roommate after helping him by paying October rent on my own with the intention of him taking care of November. November comes, I lose my job, and with only 1000 to my name, roommate moves out by duping me into signing paperwork to release him from the lease. Well aware that it was stupid of me and I hope I've learned my lesson. I'm working again, and during the winter break I should be working at least 40 hours a week, and have since found a new roommate to move in on 1/01/20. Just need a loan to ensure I get there.

Hi all, thanks in advance for your feedback.
A couple of years ago, I took a load to finance a car with Plenti which I would now like to pay off. My ealry payout figure is the same as the repayment ammount over the remaining life of the loan.
My understnading now, is that they take the agreed term, claculate the interest that would be paid over that time, and divide by number of months which results in the monthly payment amount, which seems to be fixed regardless of my intentions. Perhaps naively, I assumed that repaying the borrowed amount early would mean that I would avoid the remaining interest on the loan, this does not seem to be the case.
I understand that these finance lenders are likely airtight in their contracts, but this is strating to feel a bit like I have been taken advantage of. Assuming this is the case, is there anything that can be done to reduce the exposure here?
I have learnt a valuable lesson and will take more care when making this kind of choice in future. Luckily servicing the loan has been, and will continue to be cost neutral or better when it comes to tax time wih my company but ideally, i would like to pay off the loan and avoid the additional interest if possible.
Anyone looking to take on a perosnal loan, please be aware. Also in the first instance, push back if the lender tries to extend the term of the loan if you are able to service a shorter term comfrotably.
Cheers.

Rhymin ain't that hard
Just gotta know when to start
Yeah I started with conception
Since the womb I've learned the lesson
Still don't keep a journal
Cuz every day is eternal
Crazy thoughts paint the mural
As I walz through the burrow
Of your dirt called mind
But don't worry I'll be kind
Of resigned and remind me
of the hook
the line
And the sinker
As I sink her
Turning with a blinker
fore I tinker
Some more on my schemes for tomorrow
Some paper and a pen is all I need to borrow
Won't leave you feeling hollow
As long as you just follow
Instructions from my manual
Will leave you feeling sensual
If you comprehend it all
But y'all analfabetical
Split tongue dialectical
Sweet words diabetical
Devilish heretical
My whole life a sabbatical
Know I always have it all
Supernova powerball
All-consuming sauerMaw
Smash the Berlin mauerwall
A submarine with thick steel hull
Still stay diabolical

I started walking outside again last week. I hadn’t done that since October of last year. I can’t say when I actually last felt joy doing it, certainly not since August of 2022, probably well before that. But I feel joy from it again. I can do it without intrusive thoughts and reminders of her, tainting the positives.
You once said that you lived a sheltered life, I don’t think that’s true at all. I definitely did, and wasn’t even aware of it. I can’t even say now that I had it bad, I just had some extreme eye opening experiences. Perhaps I said this to you before, perhaps in my own personal journal, but I’m simultaneously embarrassed & grateful for that. Some people want to make everything a comparison. You tell them something and they have to top you, let you know how they had it worse. My mom, who I am not criticizing because I do know her heart is in the right place, likes to remind you that it always could be worse. And that has recently began to infuriate me. I’m aware it could be worse. I’m usually not sharing something because I want something in return, I’m just sharing because I’m a person and that’s what people do. But hearing it could be worse minimizes whatever I’ve shared, like it doesn’t matter because it wasn’t bad enough. I’m not sure where the bad line is, where it becomes ok to share and not feel like you’re being silenced or being told to be grateful it wasn’t worse. Sometimes I just want to talk. I don’t want pity, I don’t want anything really besides some empathy and to feel heard. So as I type and share, I’m aware it could be worse. I’m aware in the scheme of the hardships of the world I have it easy. But that doesn’t mean that some things aren’t hard or painful or traumatic. I guess I feel the need to add this when speaking to you because I know you indeed had it worse.
Although I was well aware that the world was full of people who do things that are evil & wrong, although I was well aware of the saying wolf in sheep’s clothing, although I was aware that hurt people hurt people, I was unaware that sometimes it would be so difficult to see. I was aware that plenty of people were in abusive relationships, lived in abusive households, worked in environments where people would do anything to get ahead, I apparently was unaware that these things happened in friendships too. For no reason. Other than jealousy or pride or insecurity or never getting over personal problems from the past. That some people are so miserable inside that they get some sort of satisfaction out of hurting other people. Or at least they think they do, they really don’t. It’s this very thing that adds to keeping them miserable.
What I’m torn on is if they fully realize what they’re doing or not. If inside their confused mind they have justified their actions and see them as ok. If they’re so delusional that they see themselves as the victim in situations and the other person as wrong. As they go from situation to situation peddling their line of garbage, trying to convince others of their false narrative, if they themselves actually believe it. Deep down. If they paused and allowed themselves to really think about it. If they’re so emotionally immature the lies begin to sound real. If their narrative, that they’ve created, feels like truth to them.
She attacked so many elements of my life - my physical health, my mental health, my work, other friendships - it was like she infiltrated my life, thoughts, beliefs, and tried to rot it away with garbage. She succeeded some, but she didn’t win. It’s really her that loses when she keeps doing this with people. But sometimes I’m still really mad about her behaviors. To borrow your word, I felt subhuman. Like I didn’t feel things properly, couldn’t understand people properly, was selfish, and just unintentionally hurt people because I was such an inconsiderate unaware mess. And, in her opinion, whether someone intentionally hurts you or unintentionally hurts you it doesn’t matter, you’re still hurt. In my opinion there is a massive difference. But I felt like I couldn’t be trusted around others, that I shouldn’t really talk to people, that I needed to run things by M or B because I didn’t know how to act and didn’t want to hurt someone because I was such a harmful mess.
It’s difficult to look back on and not feel foolish. Like, why didn’t you see that? I’m aware it was the perfect storm of events. COVID, lockdown, me at the time just beginning to build a relationship with God, you - and if things had been different it wouldn’t have worked out the way it did. If I hadn’t have had those hundreds, probably thousands, of hours talking to her so much I wouldn’t have seen it. I’d possibly still be in her life, every once in a while getting attacked with something, and never fully understanding or realizing what was going on.
So I’m grateful it was quick and now it’s over.
I feel like I can trust myself again.
I am moving past the fear that someone is out to get me, or deceiving me, or has ulterior motives. Will that happen? Probably, but it’s no longer a fear with every person, new or old, that I encounter. I’ll be fooled again, I’ll live through it, I’ll choose what’s right (to the best of my abilities), and if someone is deceiving me that’s on them, not me for not figuring it out. If that’s what they want to feel proud of in life, their ability to lie and deceive, then the jokes on them.
I don’t know what she did to you. I have a bunch of theories, but I don’t really know. What I do know is that she doesn’t get to stop God’s plan. Whatever it is will come to be, and she’s more foolish than I thought if she thinks she has power over that. I know that you were a bright part of my life. I know that I frequently pray that I will get to do something good with you. That someday I will get to hear you teach, confidently, full of peace, being the funny, gentle, compassionate, insightful, inspirational man that you are.
There is a part of me that seems to be mentally preparing for an argument that hasn’t happened yet and I doubt ever will. But I find my mind preparing for the argument with someone and being able to prove how calculated, cruel, abusive, and diabolical her actions were. I’m probably having the argument with myself sometimes, like part of me is going are you sure? Do you have it wrong? But I am sure. It wasn’t one thing, it wasn’t a couple of things, it was dozens and dozens of things. There’s no way to add them all up and come to a different conclusion. And I would really like to. But the math just doesn’t math. Yet sometimes it’s still an imaginary argument. I guess because my brain can’t really comprehend how someone could be so close to me, pretending to be my friend, and in reality doing cruel things. What disturbs me most isn’t what she did to me, but to you. That someone could pretend to be a friend, pretend to want to help, and in reality be doing awful things to someone at their lowest point. That is what I cannot wrap my brain around. The wrongness of that breaks my heart into pieces. And I’m sorry.
What has occurred isn’t an argument, but other people with only partial knowledge immediately recognizing her behaviors as wrong, narcissistic, and one person said evil. I think for a reason that I don’t understand, is that I need to hear that from people, that the things I KNOW she did are wrong, because for some reason my brain can’t completely be trusted on this. Like I know, but I can’t fully compute it. Like I know, but it feels wrong to call these actions that were clearly wrong wrong. Like I’m also wrong for calling the behaviors out. And I’m not, I’d tell someone else they weren’t wrong, but there’s some missing connector in my brain, and I’m still messed up on this issue. And I don’t understand why. Like I can’t really believe she did things she did, because it’s just that wrong. I know that doesn’t make sense, but that girl genuinely messed me up, and there are some things I’m having difficulty healing from.
I can now, fortunately or unfortunately, spot it easier in others. Hearing their mouth say one thing, hearing their mouth tell you what a victim they are, but their actions showing something completely different. It’s disappointing. It’s frustrating. It’s maddening. But at least I can spot it and stay out of whatever web they’re trying to weave. I can listen and not argue. I can hear them and keep my mouth shut. I can wish them well, and mean it, but not partake in what they’re selling. I don’t need to enter their circular conversation and try to reason with them.
You’re a mystery to me. I’ve gone over it, more times than I can count, and I still only see good. I don’t see a twisted narcissist out to cause me harm. I don’t see a manipulative devil trying to mess with me. I see a hurting guy. Maybe some behaviors were wrong, but I don’t think it’s because you were some cruel person with ill intent, I think it’s more likely they were behaviors you learned, and didn’t know differently. Or because you were in such a bad place mentally you made some choices you wouldn’t normally have chosen. I see a lot of fear and darkness that probably lead choices. Or I’m wrong, and the jokes on me, and I’m a fool again.
I’m ok with that. I still don’t have regrets when it comes to you.
But the cold harsh reality is that you left. Without a word or an explanation. And what that feels like is that I didn’t matter at all. As more time passes that fact becomes more undeniable. I don’t have any understanding, so it makes it difficult to completely heal from it. Was I a stalker? Was I a fool? Was I frightening? Was I a friend? Did I matter at all? Was I just words on a screen, completely detached from the real human behind them? I really don’t know. I’d like to say I didn’t have expectations, but I guess I did because I didn’t expect this. Did I just insert myself where I wasn’t wanted & didn’t belong?
This healing is coming in stages, in waves, bringing up things that I didn’t expect and don’t really like. The only truths that I know, and this knowledge is what gives me peace, is that I know I had good intentions. I know I was actively seeking God and trying to follow. I know I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time. I know that I’d do it again, if it meant I was helping a hurting beautiful human. I probably do have some bitterness in my heart that I need to work on because I can say that about you, but I can’t say it about her. Even knowing that I could have planted good seeds in her life, even knowing that God loves her and she’s a hurting human, I can’t say that I’d do it again for her. Luckily I don’t get to choose. It’s done.
The hardest part is all of the unknowns. Those are what play tricks on my mind. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, so perhaps I should be grateful for it now. The fear that gets me the most (second most, I won’t vocalize in any way the biggest fear), is the fear that you think of me the same way I think of her.
Sometime last year I discovered that I had saved some of your old posts. Clearly at one point I knew that feature existed, and did it, but it was all new to me when I discovered them. Some were things I never care to read again. But one stood out to me, and it was still awful, but this part was touching (and awful). You said that you basically had one friend who talks to you. When I read this last year it was as though that sentence literally jumped off of the screen in gigantic letters at me. And I felt like you were talking about me. The thing that I so wanted to hear had been said, but I misunderstood it initially. Because why else would you have said it like that? One friend who talks to you. I mean, clearly I could be wrong, because I do hate making assumptions, but I feel like I’m right. Initially it never occurred to me that you meant me, because if you were talking about me it would have said two friends, because you would have included her too. But you didn’t. And I can only come up with up with two reasons why. One, you didn’t consider her a friend because she didn’t talk to you as much as I did, and therefore you just didn’t know her that well. Or, two, you saw who she was then, she’d shown you who she was then, and you knew she wasn’t a friend. If that’s true, kudos to you for seeing it, being aware of it, and knowing that’s not how any friend should act. I just wish you would have filled me in.
I mean, I do, and I don’t.
A whole lotta lessons and growth happened by what happened to me and because of her actions towards me. Although I most definitely didn’t enjoy the path getting to those lessons, I’ll accept and be grateful for them. It wasn’t all her, of course, there were other things adding to it. And I hope someday I get to talk to you about all of this. Although I am fine, although I am usually at peace with not having answers, they would be nice to have.
As I said, I found joy in walking outside again. I’ve found confidence in my job, workplace, and those that work with me. I’ve found security again in my friendships. I’ve held onto the ability to share things with others, even if there is shame attached to it, with the belief that it’s worth my embarrassment & discomfort if it can help someone. I’ve learned how to release my fears & anxieties & doubts to God, tell Him that He is in charge and to direct me as he wants. That applies to big things and the seemingly small choices that sometimes overwhelmed me each day. I let Him have it, and it’s easy. And peaceful. I mean, not always, but in general.
I’ve reached the point where I don’t fear running into her - which was a confusing fear to have. I mean, I didn’t do anything wrong to her, yet I’m sure she thinks I did, and the uncomfortableness of knowing that added to my not wanting to see her face again. That and the fact that her behaviors were literally diabolical and I don’t want to be near someone who behaves like that. That and she truly traumatized me and I’d like to remain clear of her, not remind her that I exist. I’m aware that I’m in control of myself and my actions and I can engage, or I can simply acknowledge and keep moving. She doesn’t get to control or dictate anymore, she no longer has that ability, I can do as I please.
I miss you. And everything about that is bizarre. I have no idea who you are today, you would be a completely new person. But it’s really painful to go from having someone be such a large part of each and every day to then being completely gone. Not knowing why, if I did something to push towards that happening, if she spoke lies that pushed towards that happening, or if it had nothing to do with me at all, and was all about you. I know the saying that what people do has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. I get it, I see it in action, but I can’t figure out how to frame it properly when it comes to her. Because my choice to remove her from my life has plenty to do with her behaviors, her behaviors were the catalyst of that action, it basically has everything to do with her. So there is a fear there that similar reasoning is there when it comes to you going. And it hurts my heart to think I did something to a hurting person. I guess that’s where I wish I could have resolve. That is where I wish I had answers (don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of other questions, and i guarantee a lot of them aren’t what you expect), but I need to hear that I didn’t add pain to someone who was already hurting. And if I did, I want the opportunity to apologize and/or explain.
I say again that the two years after you left were probably the most difficult of my life, and not for the reasons you would assume, if you’re assuming anything. The second year I was literally making a choice of committing myself somewhere for mental evaluation because I was crazy, or hoping the Christian counselor could help. She helped. I’m not crazy. There are definitely things I don’t understand, but not because I’m crazy.
So here I sit, writing a message to a guy that I don’t really know, that may or may not read it (which really, was true all along), with the hope that someday you’ll choose to be a part of my life again. Or help me sort out some incredibly confusing periods of my life. I’m going to be fine, and am fine, whether I get answers or not. I’m not consumed with the need for answers, it would just be nice. But sometimes we don’t get them, and sometimes we’re probably better off not having them. I’m not seeking answers from her, I have all of the answers I need, and none of them are good, I don’t want to hear any more.
It saddens me greatly that there are people out there who devote so much time to making the lives of others miserable. That’s what they do, and they think (I guess), that brings them joy or satisfaction. It’s such a waste of life. You can’t talk to them, or reason with them, or help them see past their delusions, and honestly, sometimes the way they behave is so frightening you don’t even want to try. Knowing that this person has a purpose on earth, that there is a need for them, that there is something good they could be doing, and instead they’re peddling lies and listening to lies. Knowing that someday they’re possibly going to wake up and see a bunch of wasted time. And hopefully be able to embrace truth and make the most of the rest of their life. Or just continue what they’re doing, even though it’s not working for them and never has. It’s sad to know that some people are so insecure and scared and broken that their actions of perceived self protection, that they do to keep from getting hurt, really is causing more hurt. Pushing people away. And if they would just be open and honest their life could change dramatically.
I don’t have expectations. I don’t have any anger. I’m just a person. I’m teachable. I’m clam. I have a decent ability to control my mouth. I’m empathetic. I don’t hold onto anger. I usually have the desire to see things from the other person’s perspective, even if I’m positive they’re wrong, to have understanding (and ideally, help them see reality). I’m seeking God each and every day, praying to be changed and molded and be more like Him each day, and I mean that prayer. Not that I want to go around exclaiming who I am, because usually when people are doing that it’s because they need to convince you because their actions are about to show the opposite. I guess in this forum it’s ok, because you can’t see my present day actions.
I don’t know anything about where your head is today. If you wonder about anything, or if you’ve moved past it all and it’s a foggy distant memory. I think a lot of the time for me it is now a foggy memory that I’m removed from. That it no longer seems like happened. Writing this is bittersweet, because at least it all seems real again, but simultaneously- ugh, it all seems real again. Since I know at the time your mind was in a place of blame, I’d like to say to you that any cruel action she did towards you wasn’t your fault. Even if you opted to tell her off, not your fault. She was a button pusher, a provoker, and when she got a reaction she had an uncanny skill of seeming innocent, of being the victim, of being the martyr, of whatever it was being all your issue and she wasn’t to blame at all. I’d wager that you, in the state of mind you were in at the time, were an army full of red flags waving at her and she didn’t want to acknowledge any of them. And ignoring them was probably extremely difficult. What should have been happening was she should have seen you, this hurting guy, as where her son was headed if she didn’t change some things. But she didn’t do that. At all. Maybe she has now, but at the time she changed absolutely nothing. I think I was probably meant to be an example of what she should have been doing, and it’s uncomfortable to say that, but I think it’s true. And she wasn’t doing that either. So, understand that if you have any bad feelings over why she acted certain ways towards you, or hold onto any blame, release it. She behaved this way with absolutely everyone - her son, her husband, her other friends, acquaintances, people she didn’t even know. It was, maybe still is, how she behaves. It wasn’t you. It wasn’t me. It isn’t them. It’s her.
My friend, and fortunately my current employee, is going to school to be a pastor. She doesn’t want to lead a church, she wants to minister in other ways. But, one of her latest assignments was to write her ministry goal in 125 words. Then 35 words. And finally, one word. I didn’t attempt the whole assignment, but I have a lot of thought to the one word portion of it because that seemed the most challenging. The word I would choose is truth. I want people to see who they truly are - that was definitely my goal in talking to you. I wanted you to see past all of those lies and see truth.
There are a lot of people wandering around who are deceived by lies different from that, delusions, but they’re affecting their lives in significant ways. Freezing them. Keeping them stuck. And I want them to see truth, and sometimes reality. I know it’s not my place to always intervene, but when it is I would like to drop seeds of truth.
My ex friend believed some grandiose things. The only thing I can equate it to is a little kid declaring something like one day I’m going to be president. When it’s a child you encourage them, give them real life things they can do to work towards that dream. With her, she didn’t want real life things to do to work towards a dream, she wanted something to be handed to her. You couldn’t reason with her, if you tried she’d speak to you in a condescending tone like you were a moron. So it was a difficult position to be in. One, realizing that this grown adult believes something ludicrous, like seriously believes it, and is basing real life large choices on this dream that will probably never come into fruition. Two, wanting them to have tangible parts of that dream in the present day, but realizing they not only refuse to work towards any of it, but if you point out that they were making choices that were making this dream world a reality they would literally stop doing those things. Because she quite literally wanted it to be handed to her. Thirdly, feeling incredible sadness that this person you love is literally wasting their life, and negatively affecting the security of their future by believing in a dream. A literal wish and dream. I think she believed she was psychic to some degree, that she knew things. She’d tell you things, like a fact. You couldn’t tell her differently. We’re all like that sometimes. But with her it was to a higher truly concerning degree because her belief in her feelings on things and situations left zero room for reality. She had no ability to consider the other person’s perspective at all. She literally refused to hear it, or consider it. Like it didn’t exist. Sometimes I believed her too, because I was too close to her, because I wasn’t looking at the entire picture just a piece of it, because I didn’t know better, because I truly believed God was telling her some of these things.
I don’t believe any of it now. And I feel foolish for ever doing so.
But I want to help people identify lies that keep them stuck. Whether it’s a “normal” as a thought telling someone that they are ugly, or if it’s a grandiose as them believing they’re going to win hundreds of millions of dollars in the lottery. Either way they’re stuck. Either way a lie is affecting them negatively. Either way a lie is controlling their life. I say they, but throw me in there too. I’ve got a whopper. I can throw some different circumstances in there that make mine seem more worthy of believing, more difficult to discover, but it was still a lie. A life controlling, all consuming, life stopping lie. I guess the difference between she and I is that I’m teachable, so when someone told me it was a lie I was willing to hear.
I’m working on writing about my last few years. You’re part of it, a beautiful part of it, but it isn’t about you. It isn’t a way to find you, or out you, or embarrass you, or cause you to feel shame. I respect you. It’s really my testimony. I’m not going to believe the lie that I can’t write something because I have horrible grammar. There are tools to correct that, people that can correct that, and really, if someone understands what I’m saying that’s the point, not receiving a grade for grammar. For a while I thought I couldn’t write it because I didn’t have your input, your side of things, your voice, your answers, your permission. Although I would very much like those things, I don’t have them. Nor do I have a way to get them (besides this). So I’m working on it. Your story definitely matters, and deserves to be told, and I hope you’re telling it. But mine is completely different. And it deserves to be told for different reasons. I hope when it’s finished you read it, you are reading here to know about it, you stumble upon it, whatever. I just hope you get there.
The fact is you’re a stranger to me now. I don’t know anything about where your mind is or where your heart is. And although I’m not closed off, I’m open, I don’t trust you. I’m open to building trust with you. It’s a weird thing though, because it would probably be very easy for me to just allow you full access again, with minimal discussion. I’m not sure what that says about me. Maybe it’s a good thing, maybe it’s foolish. I can say that with her there is zero desire for that. I have zero desire to know her at all. Not because I’m mad, but because of how she behaved. I once told her my openness towards something was a vision of a million doors closing, slamming shut, one right after the other, and that is how I feel about my openness to her. Not that I need to worry about it. Sure, she could one day have a true change of heart and become a changed person, and I hope that for her. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to be part of it. I told a friend that I don’t need or seek or want an apology from her, the only good thing about hearing it would mean that she’s truly working on herself, and her heart, and getting right with God. And that’s the only reason I’d like to hear it.
As I reread this I’m unsure how it sounds. Probably like I have a lot of hurt still to recover from. I’m sure that’s true, but it isn’t an all consuming everyday dwelling on not moving forward hurt. It’s there, and it’s coming out in this because that’s the topic. I know parts of this don’t make sense, and are scattered, it’s a post, it is what it is.
It’s like there are two years of my life that are an utter mystery. They don’t make any sense, and the actions of the two other people that were a big part of some or all of that time don’t make any sense either. And there is a human out there who could shed some light on this time for me. I don’t think that’s wrong to hope for. It’s unbelievable how someone who I had so few direct conversations with has impacted my life so greatly.

my friend now ex-friend ig stole my old phone. A while ago she had accidentally lost her phone on the bus, and I felt bad for her as she was an international student and I offered she could borrow an old phone I didn't use until she bought a new one. She ended up keeping it for a while and kept pushing it off whenever I asked. Then eventually she told me she wanted to keep it which yh, wasn't part of the agreement but I told her if she payed me for it I didn't mind as I didn't use it. However I learned quickly that she was pretty inconsiderate of my property. Kept excusing it saying I didn't remind her to. I even offered her a slight discount as she was my friend, and she still wasnt taking any accountabiliy. I finally decided I needed to be a bit harsh on her, sent her a huge message. She sent me an e-transfer but told me she paid it in 5 installments… 5! Wtf. It had been like 6 months. I ended up calling her and got super pissed off told her that like 2-3 was reasonable but 5 was really pushing it. especially since she waited until I finally had it with her. Like if she couldn't pay for it, she shouldn’t have taken it in the first place. We have break from school now and she's not been responding to my messages. UGH I know the lesson here is not to lend people what you can't afford but I'm just so angry and frustrated and looking for advice/comfort.

my friend now ex-friend ig stole my phone. A while ago she had accidentally lost her phone on the bus, and I felt bad for her as she was an international student and I offered she could borrow an old phone I didn't use until she bought a new one. She ended up keeping it for a while and kept pushing it off whenever I asked. Then eventually she told me she wanted to keep it which yh, wasn't part of the agreement but I told her if she payed me for it I didn't mind as I didn't use it. However I learned quickly that she was pretty inconsiderate of my property. Kept excusing it saying I didn't remind her to. I even offered her a slight discount as she was my friend, and she still wasnt taking any accountabiliy. I finally decided I needed to be a bit harsh on her, sent her a huge message. She sent me an e-transfer but told me she paid it in 5 installments… 5! Wtf. It had been like 6 months. I ended up calling her and got super pissed off told her that like 2-3 was reasonable but 5 was really pushing it. especially since she waited until I finally had it with her. Like if she couldn't pay for it, she shouldn’t have taken it in the first place. We have break from school now and she's not been responding to my messages. UGH I know the lesson here is not to lend people what you can't afford but I'm just so angry and frustrated and looking for advice/comfort.

my friend now ex-friend ig stole my phone. A while ago she had accidentally lost her phone on the bus, and I felt bad for her as she was an international student and didn’t have family here. I offered she could borrow an old phone I didn't use until she bought a new one. She ended up keeping it for a while and kept pushing it off whenever I asked. Then eventually she told me she wanted to keep it which yh, wasn't part of the agreement but I told her if she payed me for it I didn't mind as I didn't use it. However I learned quickly that she was pretty inconsiderate of my property. Kept excusing it saying I didn't remind her to. I even offered her a slight discount as she was my friend, and she still wasnt taking any accountabiliy. I finally decided I needed to be a bit harsh on her, sent her a huge message. She sent me an e-transfer but told me she paid it in 5 installments… 5! Wtf. It had been like 6 months. I ended up calling her and got super pissed off told her that like 2-3 was reasonable but 5 was really pushing it. especially since she waited until I finally had it with her. Like if she couldn't pay for it, she shouldn’t have taken it in the first place. We have break from school now and she's not been responding to my messages. UGH I know the lesson here is not to lend people what you can't afford but I'm just so angry and frustrated and looking for advice/comfort.

my friend now ex-friend ig stole my phone. A while ago she had accidentally lost her phone on the bus, and I felt bad for her as she was an international student, and had no connections there. I offered she could borrow an old phone I didn't use until she bought a new one. She ended up keeping it for a while and kept pushing it off whenever I asked. Then eventually she told me she wanted to keep it which yh, wasn't part of the agreement but I told her if she payed me for it I didn't mind as I didn't use it. However I learned quickly that she was pretty inconsiderate of my property. Kept excusing it saying I didn't remind her to. I even offered her a slight discount as she was my friend, and she still wasnt taking any accountabiliy. I finally decided I needed to be a bit harsh on her, sent her a huge message. She sent me an e-transfer but told me she paid it in 5 installments… 5! Wtf. It had been like 6 months. I ended up calling her and got super pissed off told her that like 2-3 was reasonable but 5 was really pushing it. especially since she waited until I finally had it with her. Like if she couldn't pay for it, she shouldn’t have taken it in the first place. We have break from school now and she's not been responding to my messages. UGH I know the lesson here is not to lend people what you can't afford but I'm just so angry and frustrated and looking for comfort.

Hi, so I'm a student, new to flying. I have about 15 hours total and am planning to get my PPL. I'm 21 years old and my instructor is 23 years old. He's a really friendly, knowledgeable guy but I'm kind of uncomfortable ATM because he's very obviously interested in me romantically. At first he helped me with really practical things like driving me home so I didn't have to take public transport which takes about 2 hours one way to the airport. He then let me start to borrow his headset during our lessons so that I didn't have to pay the hiring fee for one each lesson. Then he started offering to pay for things like the add on fees for different, more expensive aircraft. And I always insisted that he doesn't have to and he shouldn't. He buys me coffee and snacks even though I don't want him to spend anything on me. He offers to take me on night flights and says some remarks during the lesson like "you're really cheeky" while we joke around in the cockpit. During the lesson he puts his arm around the back of the chair like his arm is around my shoulder. He isn't touching me, his arm is just on the back of the chair but I still feel uncomfortable about it and I bet he doesn't do the same thing to his male students. And he sometimes casually pats my leg or grabs my hand and I just do nothing or just keep talking like it was nothing but in reality I don't want him to have any physical contact with me, even in a friendly way. Today he gave me a box of chocolates and put an x at the end of his text saying he hopes I got home safe and to ask him if I need help with my first solo assignment.
I feel weird around the other staff and instructors because it's kind of like they're laughing at him secretly when I'm around and I have a feeling its because they think he's trying to romantically persue me. Which he is, to be fair, but I feel weird standing there like I'm unaware of their amusement. The staff and instructors are all men with the exception of the boss who owns the school but I rarely see her.
I know maybe it seems like a perk that he wants to do all these things for me, and I appreciate the practical help like cutting down my costs and travel time since aviation is so expensive, but I just want the relationship to be a professional student - pilot relationship and don't want all this extra romantic attention because I just want to learn to fly. What should I say or do? If I decide to go for my PPL then I will be at the flight school until the end of this year since I'm a part time student.

A bit of context, I have an automatic car but I have driven a manual/stick shift once 3-4 years ago for about 2 hours during my driving lesson and ever since then I haven't touched a manual until a few hours ago where I borrowed a friends car and drove for about 30 minutes and stalled 2 times at 1st gear and the car was jerking when trying to change gears.
I am looking to buy a Civic SI in about 8 - 10 months and I am looking at youtube videos and reddit posts about how to drive a manual and it's all good but here's my question.
when moving from 1st to 2nd or 2nd to 3rd etc.. when I press my clutch down and remove my foot off of the gas then shift to higher gear should I still slowly release clutch while applying gas like I do in 1st gear when launching or can I just release clutch and apply gas (not instantly but a bit faster than when launching at first gear).

• also another follow up question but not really important, in 1st gear when launching I saw some videos where the person let go of the clutch after the "biting point" but did not apply gas and the car still drove smoothly and he was still able to apply gas and drive normally after, is that okay to do? since what I sometimes do is while finding the biting point and applying gas my rpm goes up while im unable to find the biting point-

It's been on my mind ever since and I wanted to ask this question, i'm just researching as much as I can since maybe 3 or 4 months later when I get a break I will do a private driving lesson but i'm kind of an introvert so I don't want to ask too much questions personally. thank you and sorry for the long post and some confusing wordings (english is my third language).
TLDR; when moving from 1st to 2nd or 2nd to 3rd etc.. when I press my clutch down and remove my foot off of the gas then shift to higher gear should I still slowly release clutch while applying gas like I do in 1st gear when launching?

Once in our lives we'd really cross lands with those people who are naturally born rich talaga nu? Tapos you will amaze na lang how humble and generous they are.
So for context, I (F, 18) currently pursuing a course that related to health allied. I have this classmate (F) na tahimik and usually tulog lg sa gilid. Our clinical instructos announced that we will be having our return demonstration for vital signs na and they already set us a partner for the procedure. Ka partner ko si quite classmate, so I asked her na mag practice sa laboratory after the class. She said okay. While we are practicing I noticed her things legit old money vibes hahahaha naka doughnut bag and hydroflask sya, so I told myself at the back of my mind “ahh baka medyo may kaya sya” (lol so judger, sorry po) then proceed doing the procedures and then chinichika ko sya, nalaman ko na she didn't want to take our course daw talaga napilit lg kaya di nya gaano ma gets yung mga lessons and wala syang gana to do it. I told her that I will help her to cope up with and to teach her also the procedures as well as the rationale. She told me na her steths is naiwan daw so I told her na okay lg and mag borrow na lg kami sa lab I also shared to her that I've lost the money (ninakaw) that supposedly a budget for my steths, so during the rd mang- hihiram lg ako hahahaha broke girlie here. The day of our return demo came, while we are waiting for our turn she ask me if we could practice pa daw. I said yes and then we go to the other room na vacant to practice hahaha si ate mong very quite lg may dalang Littmann steth and mind you not one but two steths the classic III and the cardio variant. Inabot nya sa akin yung Classic III sabay sabi “Hiramin mo muna to, girl. Ibalik mo lg or sayo na if you want. Ikaw bahala” I was like?!?!?!?! Girlllll???? Hahahaha but syempre as mapagpanggal, I declined and told her “noo, hiramin ko lg sa uli ko after our rds” (but ofc sa kaloob looban ko, sige sure!! Hahahaha broke e) tapos tumawa lg sya then proceed to practice the procedure. Grabe namannnn, bakit di ako naging member ng ganitong pamahalaan? HAHAHAHAHA JOKE. After that we became friends hehehe sasauli ko na yung steths next week after our physical assessment. PROMISE!

(Warning for toddler violence. Not violence against a toddler, but violence FROM a toddler)
This happened over a decade ago already... Maybe when I was 3-4 in 2007-2008 while being in Nursery 1-2. This has always been a fun memory for me to look back to, so I thought I'd share
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I have always been the outcast of my class, and my teacher (let's call her Teacher G) always shows blatant favoritism towards this one group of girls. Since I didn't know how to make any friends and everyone avoids me because I'm too "strange", I'm obviously not one of them
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Here's a few examples of her showing her blatant favoritism towards this one particular group, especially this one girl (whose name I can no longer remember):- One of the girls brings their toy makeups to school, she just borrows them and even plays with them
- One of the girls brings a baby puppet to school, she just borrows it and plays with it, then gives it back. And when another kid brought his own toy to school (a tiny little toy car), she confiscated it. She put it on top of the blackboard where only she could reach. The boy cried, begging for his toy back. But she just left him to cry in front while she started her discussion
- One of the girls take my coloring book because she wants to use it. I complained and grabbed it from her, saying that it's mine. But after she whined, I got scolded instead and she still went on to use my coloring book. So in retaliation, I purposely went to find hers (which had disney princesses on it) and purposely make it all look ugly. She saw this, whined, and I got scolded again
Just overall things that I was confused she wouldn't let me do:- It was in the middle of the class and I was thirsty. I reached for my baby bottle and started drinking my milo. She stopped her discussion and scolded me because I wasn't given permission to drink
- My mom bought me a cute rabbit headband. It was something like this except it was pink instead of white. Again, she stopped her lesson and told me to take it off because I was "distracting the class". Ma'am... I am at the very back of the classroom... The only one at the very back, mind you
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Anyways, away with her misdeeds and onto the story.
So the class was preparing for their dance performance for an upcoming school event (forgot which one), but it was just a little dance number. Practice was after Snack Time too, so by the time it was time to practice, I was too full to move. So while everyone was practicing, I sat down on my chair
One of the favored girls looked at me, then pointed at me. "TEACHER! (My name) IS JUST SITTING THERE!" I then tried to justify myself by saying that I was too full, and my stomach hurts. But Teacher G decided to ignore me and told the girl that I wasn't gonna be a part of the program anymore
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Day of the program, I arrived in school with my family. My mom, my dad, and my little brother at that time. Teacher G then approaches my mother and told her that she wanted to talk in the classroom. She then proceeds to tell mom that she can take me home now, because I was no longer a part of the program
So my mom picks me up, and I cried. I didn't want to go home. I wanted to be a part of the program just like everyone else! So Teacher G then picks up my lunch bag and decided to give it back to me. And that was the worst possible thing that she could've done at that very moment
I grabbed my lunch bag from her hands and hit her in the head over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. My mom, eventually told me to stop. But that was only after Teacher G started crying. She held her head and cried, before walking away. My mom then proceeded to carry me out of the school and took me back home, where I went back to watching DVDs in peace
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-Fiction
- plot: A farming family is going about their business until they get word that a nuclear bomb goes off and they need to take shelter. I think they shelter in the home or a bunker but I do not remeber which or both. There, they go mad, a woman can't take it anymore and runs outside. There she sees ash falling from the sky, the fields dead, and a cow's corpse rotting.
-notable characters: a protective head of home, probably father. Woman that runs out, I think either a daughter or mother of the family - genre: dystopian
-Physical characteristics: I want to say it was paperback or a short story in a english literature class book, I read it in high school. When was it set?: mid 1900s when people we're anxious about WW3 and nuclear weapons How long was the book?: I think pretty short When (what year) did you read it?: Read it in 2018-early 2020 How old were you when you read it? Was it age appropriate?: I was 13-15 years old, I do not think it was age appropriate but we read it in class so maybe. I did reach out to old teacher but she doesn't remember either. Where did you get the book? School library, book fair, book store selling new and/or used books, flea market, borrowed from a friend, given as a gift from X person who is about Y age, or from an online store?
Got the book from the classroom, Washington state school, during this lesson in the year, we were talking about the implicaitons of the nuclear war fear of people back in the day and so we read stories from that time, I believe we read this book or short story in addition to "There Will Come Soft Rains" by Ray Bradbury. Was it new when you read it?
I do not think it was new, I think it was also written in the mid 1900s What age range was it for?
I would say age range would be 16- adult

Hello. You've probably seen me posting and commenting around here lately. I have many different questions that I would like to address in separate posts, I hope a single person posting a lot isn't an issue or something that's looked-down on.
Here's one of those posts/questions.
I will add some context (probably the same paragraph copied) to the different posts if/when relevant to the question. Feel free to skip as much of it as you want. And sorry in advance if posts are long. I have issues with summarizing and stopping myself from over-writing and oversharing. I don't know what's relevant and what isn't. This is part of a medical condition I still haven't been able to get fully diagnosed but I suspect a mix of adhd and autism (I am trying to get assessed and I am diagnosed with other things like anxiety, depression and so on). Please bear with me as I learn not to do this.
Context: I can't say much about many of the details of the actual story because both for safety and ethical reasons, I do respect (and always have, whether they believe it or not) the attackers confidentiality and there are complex things that add up to the context.
People from my neighborhood so to speak, severely hacked all my devices and accounts, doxxed me, added/distorted/lied about things I supposedly said, turned everyone in the area against me (smear campaign), falsely accused me/incriminated me, there have been mild threats to my physical integrity and so on. As far as I know/can tell they have had access to all my information, conversations, location for many months, almost a year, but let's say 6 to 8 months.
When I noticed it had probably been going on for quite a while. I factory reset my pc many times (but one of the hacks is actually the whatsapp account I suspect). When I finally started suspecting and then pretty much confirmed it, I just tried not to say anything I didn't want other people to know/hear but it's that type of situation where everything you say (no matter what it is) will be used against you somehow.
They originally had physical access to my pc many times and also had my physical sim card in their possession for a while, I also have some of them added on whatsapp and as contacts in general (and I do need some of them there because of reasons).
I moved away because of otheunrelated reasons for a while to another city (I was still being surveilled there), then I came back my original city and was living at a hotel in another neighborhood.
But many of the guests seemed to or even admited to know the original attackers. There's a lot more to say about that but basically I'm not sure if these new people hacked me too on their own side (or re-hacked me) or whether they were just in contact with and getting info from the original attackers but it became obvious very soon that they had full access to my conversations (at least, probably to a lot more than that) as well.
Some irl situations have made me fear for my life but that's completely separate and I won't go into that part.
END OF CONTEXT.

1. So my first question is, as the title says, should I care as much as I do at this point (this is literally killing me mentally and emotionally)? What I mean by that is, you know, they've had extensive, hyper-detailed intimate information about me for what I consider a very long time.

By now I assume they know everything about me, have read everything I could ever say (although I miss having some conversations without having to think about people who are watching but I guess the lesson is you shouldn't talk about anything you're not ready for the whole world to see), probably can even see my bank account, password and details (thanks for not stealing from me although I'm not 100% sure but I haven't noticed money getting lost, there was just one time that I spent a considerable amount of money too fast and I had doubts).
If the greatest possible damage is done, should I feel this bad (of course I will always be mega-hurt by how they made a lot of people I loved and respected or that I don't even know also, completely hate me)? Should I feel this worried that I can't address this immediately and/or surely? I wonder what else could they get to know or do by now that they already haven't gotten full access to in all these months.

1. Is deleting all my accounts the only way to be fully private in the future?

Take this Reddit account for instance, it will be 9 years old this october (which is nothing compared to my other accounts which are much older). I take loans in the borrow sub (because I have a ton of issues in general). Your history of paid loans as well as the age of your account and all that is taken into account as far as trust inside the platform goes. That sub alone requires you to have at least 2000 karma (which took a lot of time and conscious effort for me to get because I don't comment that much or if I don't have something to say about a post). There's another assistance sub you need to have a given amount of karma and other requirements to post in. There are also also subs (including those two) where it is a bannable offense to delete the posts you've made there (although I guess there would be no account to be banned if it's deleted).
I do want to delete most of my reddit posts and comments though and wonder where I can do mass delete them while keeping the ones I shouldn't delete and so on.
I want to delete my facebook completely and I did transfer the information to one of my google drives, but there's so much I do there yet it's all very limited now because of all this. I use those apps for information and to ask questions and of course I'm addicted to memes and scrolling y giving my opinion on completely irrelevant subjects while my life falls completely apart.
My entire life and work is tied to my google/gmail account (opened in 2005 if I remember correctly, I will check and edit the number if needed), it would be very very hard to bring all those years of information and thousands of emails to another account privately and safely.
The compromise is pretty extreme, changing passwords and phone numbers is meaningless at this point, I don't think I can really save them, but what would be the best I can do or how can I mitigate the loss of deleting them if I do or how can I continue to use them in ways that don't pose a risk.
This one could be a whole other post but there's a lot on how to protect yourself and prevent these things. But how do you start from scratch after everything that could have gone wrong is already done? Especially when you don't have the time or mental skill to study and discover and learn and explore or even open all the links I would need to open to even begin to understand how any of this works from where I'm standing.
One thing I forgot to mention is that there is a "trick" wth whatsapp business that apparently allows people to hack yours somehow as well as some other whatsapp apps that are not official like plus and things like that and I'm just trying to understand how they managed to have my whatsapp (now two of them) on two different devices at the same time or whether it's just the pc and phone hacks sharing screens. I wish I could know exactly which methods have been used I know at least more than one for sure, and I'm sure my sim was somewhat cloned at some point as well.

I’ve been playing for about year as an adult (played a lot until I was about 12, 24 years ago) and using the putter from my strata set (it was advertised as a mallet but I don’t understand why tbh it looks as blade like as the Newport I’m thinking of my dads old Tomaheak and it didn’t have the little part to flip the ball up, that’s a blade I thought?) which I’m not a huge fan of, sometimes I really mishit putts and can’t feel why.
My buddy let me borrow his Scotty Newport which is definitely a nice putter the feel is so much better and I can tell when I’m mishitting (not knocking Scotty’s) but I’ve noticed Im putting significantly worse from 3-5 ft, i use Arccos and I’m usually around 80% from this distance but with the 2 rounds with the Scotty I’ve been around 65% mostly missing left, the weights are equal both sides and say 30, idk what the unit of measurement is.
I’m curious if anyone has any ideas why this might be so I can keep that in mind as I look for a new putter as there are so many options and I’d like to narrow it down? It does have one of those girthy grips whereas the strata is normal girth so maybe that’s an issue. Is putter fitting the answer?
I do take lessons about every 2 weeks but have not worked on putting for a while, did one after a particularly terrible putting round, but since then it’s one of the stronger aspects of my game, averaging 1.8 putters per hole and usually shoot. Mid-90’s. For reference my last round with the strata I was 1.7 putts per hole with avg first putt of 16ft and my most recent with the Scotty was 31 putt with an avg first putt of 11ft.
The other putters I’ve been eyeing are the Bettinardi queen b6 and the LAB link.
TLDR: what putter should I buy?

I reported my boss for hiring people with other people's papers
Let me give you a little bit of context
I've worked at Sonic for a year and a half now, and things were very good when I started. I made many friends with j1 from Ecuador and it was a nice environment.Well about 7 months ago (11 months into my tenure) one of these j1 wanted to do a fake green card marriage, but she backed out and well she lost 3,000 and i started to have problems at the workplace. Her friends started calling me inappropriate things in Spanish that would be unacceptable if they were said in English. Well the girl ended up leaving but the issues with her friends continued.
One of her friends happens to be a manager who is also Ecuadorian. Well back in December i accidentally knocked down his mailbox,I said let me know how much it will be, they never got sround to it until 3 months ago ! When the mailbox was brought up by another employee I told them I didn't have the funds to pay for the full amount,and I would be able to pay half. (It was about $90) And well they started to harass me for money I didn't have . I was texting her at work, and she came to work to bother me about it making a big scene, she appears with the Ecuadorian manager and the other friends of the girl I was going to marry. They immediately started to asking about the money and Well when I said I only had half they called me poor, a scammer, faggot all kinds of things. My boss solution to this was to send me home. When I had just been harassed at work.
That's apart from the other issues I've been having with the Ecuadorians at work. You see they all know each other from Ecuador and there's about 7 of them all together who started to treat me differently and disparagingly because 7 months ago when everything went wrong with the girl who wanted her green card I met a Venezuelan and started speaking like a Venezuelan. Come to find out ecuadorians and Venezuelans don't really like each other. But we're in usa not in Ecuador or Venezuela. Obviously my accent changed talking everyday with my Venezuelan boyfriend. They didn't care for the new accent or new Spanish I had come to be so proud of.
I would be sent home for speaking with a Venezuelan accent and one time the Ecuadorian manager told me "fuera d mi cocina AKI no queremos venezolanos" which rougly translate to " get out of my kitchen we dont want any Venezuelans here"
That was a dirrect act of discriminacion at the very least harassment together with the way they would bully me for speaking like a venezolano!!
So about a week ago I had an issue with the same Ecuadorian manager. I didn't even work 5 minutes that day before he sent me home. Because I spoke to him like a venezolano. My GM tells me I am crazy and nobody is harassing me , that she needs time to think about my future with the company because shes already spoken to everyone and yet the problems continue. She gave me a whole week off. I lost 46 hours.
I did not accept that. I've tried to resolve this internally, but any time I bring up HR my boss simply says "you're talking to HR that's me" I said I don't feel comfortable talking with her was there someone else in HR I can talk to and she told me no, there was nobody else to talk to in hr.
With that being said, in desperation to save my job over something so stupid that should have been handled in the first place, I wrote an email to the company itself, explaining how my boss has several undocumented workers and how I'm being harassed. I recieved a call from the president of DL Rogers company asking how I knew this was true, because they are going to launch an investigation. one of those "friends" I made from Ecuador convinced my brother to let his cousin borrow his social and ID . They found out she had 5 other illegal employees there and they made her fire them all. They asked what do I want to come of this ? I replied, I simply want to work in peace, I love my job and I didn't know how else to get their attention because my boss had let things get out of hand .
I've since met with HR (the boss lied about being HR) and I'm being moved to a new location with promotion to management. My boss and the Ecuadorian manager are under investigation. I explained how my boss may not be aware of the bullying because it is all being done in Spanish. HR explained that the manager says he has not spoken inappropriate to me or anyone else at that store. he asked how can I be sure he is harassing me. I showed him my ATA Spanish to English translation certification, and explained I would not make something like this up. I even asked him if my boss or the manager in question had any similar certifications to whixh he replied " I dont think so"
I want to know what happens next . I meet my new boss Friday, but what about the manager and ex boss in question? What will happen to them ? It was not my intention to get my boss in trouble but she did nothing to protect me, and she was fired but rehired in the same day and is still under investigation. What happens to the manager who was bullying me ? My manager even threatened to fire one of my friends who I had gotten a job there simply because he is my friend. ( I also let HR know she would do this and to anticipate it) He said he will take care of it. I hope things change for the better, but really what happens to them ? I think maybe my boss learned her lesson but probably not the manager I had the issues with. What's more is I'm not sure how this investigation will end, because they will all take his side since they are all his friends and were harassing me along with him..
How would you have handled situation if it were you? I'm not sure what to expect but I feel bad I had to go about things like this to finally be heard. I almost lost my job over bullying and my boss calling me delusional because she didn't want to deal with it.

A friend, lets call him Flexer, used to flex all the time about doing 2 Js. This was even before Covid. The whole friends circle knew. One day Flexer needed a ride from the autoshop, so he called another random friend, Rando, in our friends circle for a ride. Rando suggested that the autoshop offers a loaner car. Flexer said yeah, but they don't have one right now. So Rando gave Flexer a ride. Later on Rando was venting to me about how Flexer makes twice as much as the rest of us, but can't afford a Taxi or an Uber. Rando had to leave early from work to give Flexer a ride. Another time Flexer wanted to borrow someone's truck to move, and everyone just made an excuse, knowing full well that Flexer could easily afford to rent a truck, AND movers. Needless to say no one helped him with the move either.
Lesson: Just because you're OE, your status shouldn't change in front of your friends. You're not a doctor all of a sudden making 500K, you're still a middle class Joe, and remember to keep it that way in front of your friends by following Rule# 1. Envy is a real thing.

so i've been texting this guy everyday. we took some of the same classes last semester, so it started out with him just asking me if I was attending lessons. but surprisingly enough he kept the conversation going and I started noticing some things that makes me think that maybe he likes me a tiny bit? but I am not sure because I only had a few close guy friends growing up — and I don't want to misinterpret his intentions.

1. he answers my questions very thoughtfully. I know this is basic respect when it comes to communicating with people, but I don't think I've ever had guys put so much effort into answering my questions. usually when I ask something to my friends they'll reply me with what they know at that moment or just tell me they are not sure. but this dude actually takes time out of his day to search for the information, sends me screenshots, links, etc. even if I was asking a very trivial question. if i asked a passing question, he'll text me back later in the day when he's gathered all the information. at first i thought it was a little weird of him to do so — but it's actually quite cute having someone take what I say so seriously.
2. it's summer break now, and he keeps sending me pictures and updates on his trip overseas. he would tell me what he did during the day, and send me pictures of the things he ate or the activities he did and tell me to go to those places in the future.
3. I was telling him about a road trip that I couldn't go on because my parents didn't trust my friends and I with their car — and he told me to borrow his? I was quite surprised because I only started talking to him regularly about 3-4 weeks ago, and he hasn't even seen me drive.

the thing is, I haven't seen what he is like with other girls, so I am not sure if he is as nice to everyone. so i really don't know.
i also don't know if I like him, and I don't want to lead anyone on if I don't actually like him. i look forward to seeing his notifications come in, but I'm not sure if it is just because it has became a habitual thing. the two things that are making me doubt it even more is the fact that I just got over a guy I liked for 2.5 years, andd this guy isn't really my ideal type — i am not trying to be mean or anything, but i'm sure most people have an ideal type which automatically attracts them, and this guy falls quite far from my ideal visual. sooo i really don't know. but he's really quite a great person and friend, so if he does kinda like me and i don't, i really don't want to hurt him :")