Heyyy @all, since a friend asked me how far I got in Genshin after playing for a while now, I wondered too. So I looked up some stats, took a few screenshots and now I'm curious how other (new) players progress, what are your biggest milestones yet, best loot-drops, craziest pulls, stories in general, or if you have some personal tips maybe?
As for me, I started playing Free 2 Play on 13.02.24 and here are some stats:

• Old Standard Team: Electro Traveller, Amber, Noelle, Kaeya, all 90
• Old 2. Team for Abyss: Dilluc, Collei, Barbara, Razor, all ~70 (got me to Abyss 10-3)
• pulled: Neuvillette, Kazuha, Arlecchino, all 90 (3x 50/50 won in a row, I'm worried...)
• pulled: Diluc, Skyward Pride and Qiqi from Standard Banner
• bought Bennett from Shop, 90
• obtained ~ 75k primogems (~ 45k left)
• had ~ 90 intertwined fates, wished 245x
• had ~ 180 Acquaint Fates, wished 212x
• 25.04.24 all Areas show 100% (not true 100% though, I know)
• Serenitea-Pot: 2x 25k points and Paradise Lvl 10, all challenges done
• 1029 Achievements without hunting them besides challenger-series
• 01.05.24 beat Abyss 12-2 (finally saw the last missing enemy-type🙏🏼) and made it to 12-3
• 75 Weapons, 1 gold, 49 purple, 24 blue, 1 grey (Starter-Sword)
• 210 Artifacts, 171 gold, 39 purple
• hit maximum of 1800 pieces 3 or 4 times while exploring iirc. Nearly everything what's left got filtered through: General Settings all turned on + edited Standard Filter Plan 1 (additional Main Affixes: Sands: ER, EM / Goblet: EM / Circlet: ER, EM, HB and Minor Affixes: Crit Rate, Crit DMG, EM, ER, including at least 2))
• farmed Artifacts with Condensed Resin: Noelle 10 runs, Neuvillette 10 runs, Kazuha 5 runs
• learned 165 Recipes, mastered 142 of them
• found 104 Tunes
• highest Crit DMG: 110.133
• Co-op Domains: 431
• Co-op stuff taken: 1279
• Wood collected: 5911
• Dyes created: 1198
• Furnishing Blueprints learned: 463
• Currency obtained: 45.988
• Fish caught: 2014 (all spots = ~ 500 fish per run so 4 runs)
• caught all jumping versions of them
• TCG Lvl 10, defeated all players on map, all challenges + all on hard
• TCG coins obtained: 231.550
• Crowns obtained: 21
• Crowns used: 2 on Neuvillette, 1 on Kazuha, 1 on Arlecchino
• for a month now helping others, because motivation for achievement-hunting isn't really here yet^{^}

I'm still planning on getting the first char I wanted to pull for after playing her story quest - Raiden. And as the second one - Zhongli. As for Starter-Pokemon I'm planning on getting Alhaitham next. Others I want to pull for: Navia, Wriothesley, Ganyu, Furina, Nahida And then, in my dreams where I still have primogems left: Ayaka, Yelan, Itto, Xiao, Shenhe, Eula and Klee.
My personal biggest Milestones: - got all the crystalflies including the coralfly💙 - finished all available Quests - Map Exploration Rate of 100% - Only missing 4 + 1 Hydroculi and the extra Electroculi - Made it to Abyss 12-3 - Earned 6 Gold-Medals in Vibro-Crystal Application😎 ( the difficulty was not even comparable to all the other events I took part in😅) - Saved the "unplayable" account of a friend on WR 8 with 24 artifacts in total and struggling with lvl 70 enemies in only 3 days, obtained 40 wishes and got her Arlecchino as a 'overnight suprise' next time she logged in🤭
Next one: - Finally beating Abyss for the first time
And my biggest Fails: - although logged in 7 of 7 days, I did not claim Day 6 and through that missed out on 5 Intertwined Fates...💀 - because the season ended and max weekly xp were reached, I bought a season-pass rank up for 150 primogems to get a wish worth 160. Only to being able to claim a seasonal challenge ten minutes later which bypassed the weekly xp limit and got me the rank up anyways...🤦🏻‍♂️ - allowed a player in chat to join my teapot and got infected with his excitement and happines over getting accepted and finally finding someone so close before reset, so I then quickly entered it myself because I wanted to know what he was so crazy about - without realizing I just kicked him before he could even send a request...😂
Sooo, that was my journey so far, how are you all doing? Ah btw, in case someone still has not redeemed these yet, here are some free codes I posted last week: https://www.reddit.com/Genshin_Impact/s/0t5oSaJcYB 🍀

On August 18, 2015 the Boston Red Sox hired the late General Manager of the Detroit Tigers, Dave Dombrowski, to run the team, replacing Ben Cherrington. The development focused Cherrington had failed to follow up the Red Sox miracle 2013 season with even winning records in the two years since, though the farm system ranked among the very best in baseball and a wave of prospects had just hit the majors (among them, Xander Bogaerts, Jackie Bradley Jr., Mookie Betts, and Blake Swihart). Thus, the swapping of Cherington for Dombrowski was rightly interpreted as the Red Sox moving to a more assertive phase, to win now even at the expense of the player development system.
Ironically Dombrowski had been fired by the Tigers because of his belief that the organization’s competitive window had closed and that the team needed to rebuild; the Tigers gave the job to his former assistant who got one more winning season out of their aging core before the inevitabilities became insurmountable. By that time the Red Sox were in the midst of their second straight division crown of three, which climaxed with the single greatest season in franchise history. This is how Dombrowski built that team, as well as the fiscal panic that cost the Red Sox the greatest all around player in franchise history following it:
~2015~
November 13, 2015: Traded Logan Allen, Carlos Asuaje, Javy Guerra and Manuel Margot to the San Diego Padres. Received Craig Kimbrel.
The first major transaction of the Dave Dombrowski era set the pace for the next four years; trading four prospects for a relief pitcher constitutes the classic win-now move. In this case the Red Sox won the deal in both the long and short terms, as only Manuel Margot developed in regular at the major league level, and that at a position where the Red Sox were not in need (center field). Meanwhile Craig Kimbrel made the all-star team in each of his three seasons in Boston, the second of which was one of the greatest relief performances in the game’s history.
December 4, 2015: Signed David Price as a free agent, 217 million dollars over seven years.
At once the most maligned and most underrated move of the Dombrowski era as well as being the biggest, the David Price signing saw the Red Sox for the first time handout a nine figure contract to a free agent pitcher. This was all the more dramatic as they had alienated and traded away their own homegrown southpaw ace (Jon Lester) less than eighteen months before. This was also the first time with the Red Sox that Dave Dombrowski acquired a player he was he previously familiar with, perhaps slightly overpaying for that familiarity. Did we mention that this was largest contract ever given to a pitcher at time, too?
Price had a solid first season in Boston, leading the league in innings pitched with 230 and striking out nearly a man per inning. Nonetheless the first three years of his tenure were marked with mutual hostility towards the ever-ravenous Boston sports media, only alleviated after his fantastic 2018 postseason run. Aging and injuries limited both the quantity and quality of his performance in 2017 and 2019; this trend as well as his 31 million annum salary contributed to owner John Henry’s decision to offload Price even at the cost of Mookie Betts. If only for that last reason alone the David Price signing is one the Red Sox would likely not repeat in hindsight.
December 7, 2015: Traded Jonathan Aro and Wade Miley to the Seattle Mariners. Received Roenis Elías and Carson Smith.
The first of many times Dombrowski would be burned in pursuit of bullpen arms, this deal with Seattle comes down to Wade Miley for Carson Smith. Miley had been signed as a reclamation project by Cherrington before 2015 in the hopes that Miley could serve as a solid mid-rotation option, which he more or less fulfilled with just short of 200 league average innings. Smith on the other hand was coming off his first full season in the majors where he gave the Mariners seventy brilliant innings of high leverage relief pitching (2.31 ERA, 11.8 K/9, and only two home runs allowed).
In a twist of fate, this trade hurt both teams as Smith immediately got injured and only pitched 24 innings in the rest of his career while Miley bombed in Seattle en route to a midseason jettisoning. Yet he rebounded with Baltimore in 2017 and remains an effective if oft-injured starting pitcher to this day, currently with the Milwaukee Brewers.
~2016~
June 10, 2016: Drafted Bobby Dalbec in the 4th round of the 2016 amateur draft.
The once and future Red Sox, Quad A superstar Bobby Dalbec!
July 7, 2016: Traded Wendell Rijo and Aaron Wilkerson to the Milwaukee Brewers. Received Aaron Hill and cash.
With Pablo Sandoval well into his career of eating his way out of Boston, the Red Sox carried a gaping hole at third base from August 2012 to July 2017. One of the short term attempts at a fix featured the acquisition of infielder Aaron Hill, hoping that he and Travis Shaw could platoon for the rest of the 2016 season. The thirty four year old Hill had been decent in Milwaukee in the first half after two bad seasons, but he reverted to that form as soon as he put on a Red Sox uniform, posting a 54 OPS+ in 137 plate appearances. After another terrible eighty plate appearances for the Giants in 2017 Hill was done. On the bright side, the two players Dombrowski gave up for him never amounted to anything.
July 9, 2016: Traded Jose Almonte and Luis Alejandro Basabe to the Arizona Diamondbacks. Received Brad Ziegler.
Ziegler was an accomplished submarine righty who the Red Sox acquired for basically free to get same-sided batters out, a role which he fulfilled to perfection (1.52 ERA in 30 innings). Another clearly won trade for DD.
July 14, 2016: Traded Anderson Espinoza to the San Diego Padres. Received Drew Pomeranz.
At the time, Anderson Espinoza was a teenager in Single A while Drew Pomeranz had appeared to finally unlock his long-salivated over potential with an all-star appearance. Ideally the Padres were hoping Espinoza could eventually develop to that same quality while the Red Sox expected Pomeranz to fill the fourth spot in the rotation. Neither team got what they wanted, at least in 2016 or for most of thereafter; Espinoza immediately went down with a major arm injury which kept him from pitching professionally for five years. Pomeranz himself reverted to his pre-breakout level for the rest of the season, bounced back with a big 2017 (17-6, 3.32 ERA, a strikeout per inning across 174 frames) and then finally was the forgotten man on the 2018 pitching staff due to injuries and ineffectiveness (6.08 ERA in 74 innings, 66 strikeouts to 44 walks). At this point the thirty year old southpaw looked like the quintessential example of TNSTAAPP (There’s No Such Thing As A Pitching Prospect), another electric arm who would never match his potential due to injuries and command woes. Anyways, Pomeranz then seemed to resuscitate his career out of the bullpen for the 2019 Brewers and 2020-21 Padres with a sub-2 ERA across 70 innings in those three seasons…before injuries again struck. Though he has not pitched in the majors in three years he remains in the Dodgers minor league system, currently (where else) on the injured list.
December 6, 2016: Traded Victor Diaz, Luis Alexander Basabe, Michael Kopech and Yoán Moncada to the Chicago White Sox. Received Chris Sale.
It’s easy to forget now, but Moncada was not only a can’t miss prospect but one of the three best in all of baseball at the time, and Kopech was another Top 100 type. I’ve covered Kopech in my previous article on Red Sox pitching prospect busts but Moncada’s own failure to reach his ceiling was due more to injuries and a passive approach at the plate. Thus far into his career, Moncada has had two good seasons out of seven and played in at least 130 games in only three. With a strikeout rate of thirty percent, a declining walk rate, little power and less defense, he’s become a fourteen million dollar albatross even when on the field for the White Sox.
Sale, of course, had two Cy Young Award worthy campaigns before injuries and an ill-advised extension soured his final five seasons as a Red Sox. That extension will be discussed further when we come to it, but the trade on its own was inarguably a major victory.
Traded a player to be named later, Josh Pennington, Mauricio Dubón and Travis Shaw to the Milwaukee Brewers. Received Tyler Thornburg. The Boston Red Sox sent Yeison Coca (June 5, 2017) to the Milwaukee Brewers to complete the trade.
Yet another ill-fated trade for a relief pitcher, this time costing the Red Sox heavily in terms of value lost; Shaw went to become an all-star power bat at second and third base for the next two seasons in Milwaukee before his career petered out. Thornburg on the other hand contracted thoracic outlet syndrome from which he never recovered. Even if he had pitched well, the Red Sox could have used Shaw more than any setup man due to Dustin Pedroia’s career ending knee injury.
December 8, 2016: Signed Mitch Moreland as a free agent.
Mitch Moreland was a decent first baseman, but could Dave really not find someone better to play first over the next three years? Even if they cost more than $18.5 million?
December 20, 2016: Traded Clay Buchholz to the Philadelphia Phillies. Received Josh Tobias.
This was more of a psychic relief to Red Sox Nation than anything else, finally alleviating them of the constant confusion over which Bucholz would show up on the mound—the oft-injured and easy to hit version, or the dominating ace? Fittingly Clay’s last three seasons in the majors featured two horrid starts for Philly, sixteen dominating starts in Arizona, and then finally split the difference with a final dozen poor performances as a Blue Jay.
~2017~
June 12, 2017: Drafted Tanner Houck in the 1st round (24th pick) of the 2017 amateur draft.
Houck’s selection constitutes one-third of the total number of draft picks by Dombrowski that made which helped the Red Sox at the major league level (the other two being fourteenth round pick Kutter Crawford in 2016 and fellow first rounder Triston Casas in 2018); inability to find even depth pieces in the draft left the Red Sox farm system utterly void of impact talent by 2018.
June 23, 2017: Selected Doug Fister off waivers from the Los Angeles Angels.
As alluded to in my previous article, veteran GMs tend to reacquire players they were familiar with from previous stops. Fister had been an excellent fourth starter for the Tigers early in the 2010s but by 2017 the end was clearly staring him in the face; a 4.88 ERA in eighteen appearances (fifteen starts) just underlined this inevitable and unenviable conclusion.
July 26, 2017: Traded Shaun Anderson and Gregory Santos to the San Francisco Giants. Received Eduardo Núñez.
Nunez was the short-term solution to Pedroia’s knee injury. He turned out to be the medium-term solution too, as the degenerate condition of the incumbent’s affliction led DD to resign Nunez that winter. While fantastic down the stretch in 2017 this was a stretch of the infielder’s capabilities; Nunez suffered his own knee injuries and posted a remarkable -2.3 WAR as Boston’s primary keystone occupant over the 2018 and 2019 seasons.
July 31, 2017: Traded Gerson Bautista, Jamie Callahan and Stephen Nogosek to the New York Mets. Received Addison Reed.
Another deadline, another deal to reinforce the bullpen. Reed was inconsistent for the Red Sox during his two month stay, which turned out to be the penultimate chapter for his career—a poor 2018 in Minnesota marked the end of his major league career, an astonishingly quick demise even for a reliever.
~2018~
February 26, 2018: Signed J.D. Martinez as a free agent, five years and 110 million dollars.
The best free agent signing of the Dombrowski era, JD provided the power bat the Red Sox sorely lacked after Big Papi’s retirement. In his first and best season in Boston Martinez led the majors in both runs batted in and total bases, placed third in MVP voting, and earned Silver Sluggers at two different positions! He declined linearly from there, but remains a productive member of any team’s lineup to this day; he has spent the last two seasons as the Dodgers and now Mets’ DH, attempting to compensate for declining bat speed by sacrificing contact for power.
March 4, 2018: Signed Ryan Brasier as a free agent.
The quality of Brasier’s pitching is inversely proportional to the quality of the expectations laid upon him. Thus he alternates excellent if limited seasons with ostensibly healthier but more erratic contributions.
March 24, 2018: Traded Deven Marrero to the Arizona Diamondbacks. Received a player to be named later. The Arizona Diamondbacks sent Josh Taylor (May 15, 2018) to the Boston Red Sox to complete the trade.
Deven Marrero was the prototypical good-field/no-hit infielder. Taylor is yet another oft-injured reliever, though he at least gave the Red Sox two solid seasons as the primary southpaw in 2019 and 2021. After missing all of 2022, he was traded to the Royals for Adalberto Mondesi and a teenage infielder named Angel Pierre; while Mondesi knee injuries seem to have ended his career Pierre posted a .415 OBP in rookie ball last year. Keep an eye and ear out for him as he climbs through the minor league ranks.
June 4, 2018: Drafted Triston Casas in the 1st round (26th pick) of the 2018 amateur draft.
Get well soon. There’s only so much Bobby Dalbec a fan can take.
June 28, 2018: Traded Santiago Espinal to the Toronto Blue Jays. Received Steve Pearce and cash.
Moreland had never and would never hit southpaws, but it took until the middle of his second season in Boston for the Red Sox to provide him with a platoon partner. When they finally did so at least they chose one of the very best platoon players in the major leagues in Steve Pearce; Pearce of course would win the World Series MVP that should have gone to Price later that year.
July 25, 2018: Traded Jalen Beeks to the Tampa Bay Rays. Received Nathan Eovaldi.
Even had he not resigned with the team during the offseason, Eovaldi would have earned his place in Red Sox lore for his heroic six inning relief appearance in the World Series. We’ll discuss the extension later, but also note that Beeks is perhaps the only pitcher who the Rays failed to turn into a Cy Young contender. What’s the opposite of adding insult to injury?
July 30, 2018: Traded Ty Buttrey and Williams Jerez to the Los Angeles Angels. Received Ian Kinsler and cash.
With Nunez playing well below replacement level, the Red Sox needed a replacement for the replacement. Kinsler in his penultimate season at least provided a solid glove; just in case the Red Sox also picked up Brandon Phillips.
November 16, 2018: Signed Steve Pearce as a free agent. AND, December 6, 2018: Signed Nathan Eovaldi as a free agent.
These were covertly two of the worst transactions of the Dave Dombrowski era. Refusing to say goodbye to midseason rentals is risky enough, but the amount of money given to Pearce and Eovaldi also baffled reasonable explanations; a thirty-six-year-old platoon hitter at first base is replaceable enough, even when he’s not the weak side of the arrangement. Had Pearce played well and been healthy in 2019, perhaps the six and quarter million would have seemed mostly worth it; instead, he “hit” .180 in twenty nine games before retiring.
Meanwhile, Eovaldi’s lengthy injury history made it a minor miracle that he was healthy enough for the Red Sox during his three months in Boston—bringing him back for four years and sixty-eight million dollars can only be explained as a sentimental move, an excessive reward for that World Series performance. As could have been reasonably expected in December 2018, Nitro Nate only proved worthy of that contract in one out of four seasons; in the other three he was either injured for most of the season, ineffective, or both.
~2019~
March 23, 2019: Extended Chris Sale for five years, 145 million dollars.
It wasn’t the David Price contract that caused the fiscal panic that cost the Red Sox their best player since at least Carl Yastrzemski, not really. The Red Sox could have eaten that sunken cost, had it been the sole albatross on their pitching staff. But, of course, it was only one of three unnecessary contracts that Dave Dombrowski issued to injury-prone starting pitchers on the wrong side of thirty. Sale had already shown long term red flags in 2018, which argued for letting him play out his walk year in 2019 before possibly ponying up the cash to keep him. After all, the Red Sox also had to extend Xander Bogaerts as well as the inestimable Betts; those two would cost at least sixty million a year to retain. Since they were coming off the most dominant single season in franchise history, perhaps now was the best time to let go some of the chief contributors, before the Red Sox tricked themselves into trying to recapture lightning in a bottle…Well, you know what happened in reality.
Between them, Eovaldi, Sale, and Price cost the Red Sox $52 million in 2019 alone, then $67 million in 2020; accounting for other contracts (JBJ’s arbitration rang up $11 million, Bogey was extended for $20 million, and JD was on the books for about $24 million) that was at least $122 million dollars already assigned to six players entering 2020. Assuming a payroll of effectively $200 million, this would have left about thirty million to spend on the other twenty-odd players required to field a team after giving Mookie his presumed megadeal. Turning back to 2019, just like with the Tigers in 2015, Dave couldn’t even make his customary July trade for pitching; the acquisition of Andrew Cashner from the Orioles felt like a low-budget parody of his previous deadline splashes, which of course it was.
There’s the real reason Dave Dombrowski was fired—just as in Detroit his full throttle commitment to a win-now mandate from ownership eventually led to a top-heavy roster and barren farm system. Have fun while you can, Phillies Phans.
Final Note/Small Self Promotion I forget to add: You could have read this post ten days earlier if you follow my blog

Hi - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Each week I post a summary recap of the week's top stories, which I cover in depth with sources in the full edition. Let's dive in...
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STAT OF THE WEEK: Kohl's sales have shrunk by $2.3B since 2019. During that same period of time, the company lost 1.3M customers who no longer shop with the retailer.
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BigCommerce is exploring a sale after attracting takeover interest, according to sources who chose to remain anonymous due to the confidentiality of the information. The sources said that BigCommerce asked investment bank Qatalyst Partners to solicit interest from potential buyers that include private equity firms, but that the discussions are at an early stage and no deal is certain.
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Squarespace announced that it will be going private in a $6.9B all-cash deal with private-equity firm Permira, who agreed to pay $44 per share (a roughly 30% premium). Although Squarespace never lost 90% of its share price like BigCommerce, it has experienced a tumultuous time on the market since its IPO in May 2021 — opening around $49.50 and at times trading in the low $20s. Shares rose nearly 13% to $43 in pre-market trading upon release of the news.
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ByteDance filed a lawsuit in US federal court seeking to block the new law that would force the sale or ban of the app within the country. The lawsuit challenges the law on constitutional grounds, also citing commercial, technical, and legal hurdles, as well as opposition from Beijing. Legal experts say the legal battle will play out in the courts in coming months and likely will reach the Supreme Court.
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OpenAI unveiled its newest model, GPT-4o, designed to turn ChatGPT into a digital personal assistant that can engage in real-time, spoken conversations and interact with users using text, screenshots, photos, documents, and charts. The new version of ChatGPT also has memory capabilities, which means it can learn from previous conversations. It will be available to both unpaid and premium customers alike. OpenAI also announced that it would be launching a desktop app with the GPT-4o capabilities, giving users another platform to interact with the technology outside of a web browser.
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Amazon launched in South Africa last week, marking its first marketplace in sub-Saharan Africa, and bringing its total number of marketplaces worldwide to 22. To launch the new marketplace, Amazon is offering free delivery on first orders and on subsequent orders above R500 (about $27), access to 3,000 pick-up points, status updates via WhatsApp to track orders, 30 day refunds, and 24/7 customer support. The marketplace was supposed to launch in the country in 2023, but got delayed due to changes in priorities within Amazon.
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In an unlikely partnership, Instacart is partnering with Uber Eats to expand into the restaurant delivery business. Instacart will add a new tab for restaurant delivery to its app in the coming weeks, the listings will be provided by Uber, and the food will be picked up and delivered by Uber Eats drivers. Customers will receive the same prices on both apps and Instacart will receive an affiliate commission on orders. It's a strange partnership though given that Instacart and Uber Eats actively compete on grocery delivery. Are they planning to merge? Uber says no.
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Apple's advertisement for its latest iPad Pro sparked criticism for showing an animation of musical instruments, paint cans, cameras, record players, and other symbols of creativity being crushed by a giant machine, with the output being the new iPad Pro, which the company says is the thinnest Apple product ever. In this context, “crushing” was supposed to symbolize “consolidating” and “compacting” — with the visuals meant to showcase how the new iPad Pro puts the power of all these tools into the hands of creators in one thin device. However online commenters criticized the ad as insensitive and as symbolizing a “destruction of the human experience.” The ad hit the web on Tuesday, and by Thursday, Apple issued a mea culpa and apologized for the campaign.
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Google is encouraging merchants to enable conversion annotations on their Google Shopping ads, which offer social proof that highlight a product's popularity. Conversion annotations like “best selling” or “3K shopped here recently” would provide visual cues about a product’s popularity or sales performance directly in the ad unit. Annotations like these are par for the course with e-commerce retailers including Amazon, Walmart, and Temu, which all employ similar tactics. They can provide valuable info for shoppers and also help with conversions. However they also open data privacy concerns, given that Google is not the actual retailer or marketplace selling the items, so a merchant would have to share this purchase history data from their e-commerce platform with Google — which technically most already do by giving access to GA4.
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Shein is attempting to join the National Retail Federation as it pursues regulatory approval to go public in the US. The company believes that NRF membership would boost its chances of receiving SEC approval. However so far, Shein has been rejected numerous times. An anonymous source familiar with the matter said someone with heavy influence at the NRF is strongly against the Shein's admittance. However board members who spoke to CNBC said that Shein's membership application hadn't come up in meetings, and that they aren't involved in deciding which companies are granted access.
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Amazon is leading the way with selling home goods, capturing 18.8% of consumer home furnishings spending, compared to Walmart's 7.3% market share. Notably, Amazon’s gains in the furniture category come in spite of the company’s decision to phase out two of its three furniture brands last year.
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Stanley, which is projected to do $750M in sales this year, up from $73M in 2019, after seeing its water bottles become a status symbol thanks to TikTok, is now expanding into trendier accessories. The company is launching a line of bags called the All-Day Collection which include a mini cooler, backpack cooler, and Quencher Carry-All, designed for someone to sling their Stanley over their hip.
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Jack Dorsey left the Bluesky board and deleted his account on the service he helped kickstart, claiming that Bluesky was “literally repeating all the mistakes” he made while running Twitter. Dorsey says he never intended Bluesky to be an independent company, but rather, an open source protocol that Twitter was supposed to be the first client of. He also confirmed that he is financially backing Nostr, another decentralized Twitter-like service popular among crypto enthusiasts and run by an anonymous founder.
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Amazon is deploying 50 electric trucks in California, which it claims is the largest EV fleet in the country, as part of its mission to eliminate pollution from its global operations. The trucks will be integrated into first-mile operations, moving goods from container ships at the ports to fulfillment centers, as well as middle-mile operations, transporting packages from fulfillment centers to delivery centers.
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Wix launched a new tool called AI Portfolio Creator, which allows a user to upload and organize large-scale image collections, select the type of portfolio they want, and then have the AI tool sort and generate a portfolio with clustered images, recommended titles and descriptions, and personalized layout options.
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Amazon is now requiring all dietary supplements to be verified by a third-party testing, inspection, and certification organization — which is something that not even the FDA requires. Amazon is the largest supplement retailer in the US ahead of Walmart and Target, and its new requirements are expected to put more pressure on the industry, which is being scrutinized more than ever.
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Alibaba is revamping its flagship retail website Taobao for the first time in seven years with a focus on providing a smoother search and buying process. The website overhaul comes ahead of the 618 sales event, China's second-largest annual shopping event. A few weeks ago I reported that Eddie Wu, the CEO of Alibaba Group, would now be directly overseeing its domestic e-commerce arm which includes Taobao and Tmall Group, and it sounds like he's hitting the ground running with his new responsibilities.
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Amazon is hosting its first-ever Amazon Book Sale, a new shopping event starting on May 15th that offers up to 50% off print best sellers and up to 80% off Kindle Books. The six day shopping event will exclusively run in the US, and Prime-membership is not required to take advantage of the deals.
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FTX reported that nearly all of its customers will receive the money back that they are owed, two years after the cryptocurrency exchange imploded. The company owes about $11.2B to its customers and estimates that it has between $14.5B and $16.3B to distribute to them. The caveat is that customers will receive the USD value of their holdings at the time of the exchange collapse, and not the actual crypto holdings themselves, which means that they'll miss out on all gains during the past two years during which BTC went from around $16k to now over $60k. Better than nothing though, that's for sure.
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800,000 consumers in Europe and the US were duped into sharing card details and other sensitive personal data with a network of fake online designer shops operated from China, which comprised one of the largest scams of its kind with 76,000 fake websites created. The scammers used expired domains to host its fake shops in order to help avoid detection by websites or brand owners, and more than 1M orders were processed in the past three years alone.
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Beyond Inc, which owns Bed Bath & Beyond, Overstock, and Zulily, reported that its Q1 net loss swelled to $72M from $10M a year ago, while its operating loss widened to $58M from $8M. The company's active customers grew to 6M, up 26% from nearly 5M a year ago, however, its average order value dropped to $173 from $220 a year earlier.
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TikTok will begin automatically labeling AI generated content when it is uploaded from certain platforms like DALL.E 3, Adobe Firefly, Photoshop, and Microsoft Copilot. TikTok will also start attaching Content Credentials to content, which will remain on the media when downloaded, allowing other platforms to read the metadata.
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eBay is testing an Add To Cart button in search results that opens a Quick View window, allowing buyers to skip the listing page. Technically the button should probably not be labeled “Add To Cart” since it doesn't perform that action, but rather, displays a quick view window with three buttons: Buy It Now, Add To Cart, View All Details. Sellers are worried that buyers will miss crucial details in the product description that may lead to increased returns and negative feedback.
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Amazon is planning to launch its fleet of drones in Tolleson, Arizona, but the city's extreme temperature is hampering its efforts. Drones can't operate in temperatures exceeding 104 degrees Fahrenheit, a temperature that Tolleson crosses for a full three months of the year.
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A US district judge dismissed X's lawsuit against Bright Data, a data-scraping company accused of improperly accessing X system and violating X terms and state laws when scraping and selling data. The judge basically said that if X owned the data, it could perhaps argue that it has exclusive rights to control it, but then X wouldn't be able to enjoy the safe harbor of Section 230, which allows the platform to avoid liability for third-party content. Can't have it both ways!
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Nintendo is discontinuing its X integration for the switch on June 10th, which means users will no longer be able to post screenshots or videos to the platform from their device. The drop in support also affects games like Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, which had game-specific options to send out tweets. Microsoft Xbox dropped support for X in April 2023 and Sony Playstation dropped the service in October 2023 due to the increase in X's API access fees.
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Amazon claimed that its recordable incident rate — a metric that comprises all injuries requiring “more than basic first-aid treatment” — at its US warehouses has improved by 24% since 2019. However the National Employment Law Project challenged Amazon's injury data in a report last week, claiming that Amazon's overall injury rate in 2023 was 71% higher than that of other employers in the sector at 6.5 cases per 100 workers.
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Amazon Ads announced three new advertising formats for streaming TV including shoppable carousel ads, interactive pause ads, and interactive trivia ads. Amazon did not say when the new ad types would officially launch, but noted that it will formally present them at a presentation on May 14th.
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Meta is rolling out an expanded set of generative AI ad tools that can create full image variations with text overlays, expand images to fit across different aspect ratios, and generate alternate versions of headlines and other ad text. The features will become available globally to advertisers by the end of the year.
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Square introduced a tool called Square Kiosk to allow self-service ordering at fast food restaurants. The device is a combined software, hardware, and payment solution that allows customers to select exactly what they want with customization options, upgrades, and add-ons.
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The European Parliament announced new measures to make packaging more sustainable and reduce packaging waste in the EU, including reduction targets of 15% by 2040 — which sounds far away but is only 16 years away?! As part of the new rules, the EU will set maximum empty space ratios for e-commerce transportation, ban certain single-use plastic packaging types, and beverage distributors and take-away food will have to offer consumers the option of bringing their own container.
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Indians who pre-ordered Teslas in 2016 are giving up and seeking refunds of their deposits after Elon Musk canceled another visit to the country last month. Disillusioned Tesla enthusiasts in India say they will now buy a car from the company only if they see it in a showroom, or they'll buy a different electrical vehicle from a company that actually exists in the country.
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Target is limiting its Pride Month collection to select stores this year instead of rolling out the merchandise nationwide like it typically has for the past decade, due to backlash the retailer experienced last year. Last May customers in certain stores knocked down LGBTQ+ merchandise displays, angrily approached store employees, and posted threatening videos on social media from inside the stores.
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E-commerce spending from Jan 1 to April 30, 2024 rose 7% YoY to $331.6B, according to Adobe Analytics. One trend Adobe identified during the period is a shift of online spending to purchasing the cheapest goods across personal care, electronics, apparel, home & garden, furniture, and grocery.
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Plus 7 seed rounds, IPOs, and acquisitions of interest, including Shopify's acquisition of Peel, a tool that integrates with a merchant's tech stack including Klaviyo and Recharge and helps them analyze their sales data to improve customer retention.
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I hope you found this recap helpful. See you next week!
PAUL Editor of Shopifreaks E-Commerce Newsletter
PS: If I missed any big news this week, please share in the comments.

Hi - I'm Paul and I follow the e-commerce industry closely for my Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter. Each week I post a summary recap of the week's top stories, which I cover in depth in the newsletter. Let's dive in...
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STAT OF THE WEEK: Kohl's sales have shrunk by $2.3B since 2019. During that same period of time, the company lost 1.3M customers who no longer shop with the retailer.
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BigCommerce is exploring a sale after attracting takeover interest, according to sources who chose to remain anonymous due to the confidentiality of the information. The sources said that BigCommerce asked investment bank Qatalyst Partners to solicit interest from potential buyers that include private equity firms, but that the discussions are at an early stage and no deal is certain.
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Squarespace announced that it will be going private in a $6.9B all-cash deal with private-equity firm Permira, who agreed to pay $44 per share (a roughly 30% premium). Although Squarespace never lost 90% of its share price like BigCommerce, it has experienced a tumultuous time on the market since its IPO in May 2021 — opening around $49.50 and at times trading in the low $20s. Shares rose nearly 13% to $43 in pre-market trading upon release of the news.
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ByteDance filed a lawsuit in US federal court seeking to block the new law that would force the sale or ban of the app within the country. The lawsuit challenges the law on constitutional grounds, also citing commercial, technical, and legal hurdles, as well as opposition from Beijing. Legal experts say the legal battle will play out in the courts in coming months and likely will reach the Supreme Court.
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OpenAI unveiled its newest model, GPT-4o, designed to turn ChatGPT into a digital personal assistant that can engage in real-time, spoken conversations and interact with users using text, screenshots, photos, documents, and charts. The new version of ChatGPT also has memory capabilities, which means it can learn from previous conversations. It will be available to both unpaid and premium customers alike. OpenAI also announced that it would be launching a desktop app with the GPT-4o capabilities, giving users another platform to interact with the technology outside of a web browser.
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Amazon launched in South Africa last week, marking its first marketplace in sub-Saharan Africa, and bringing its total number of marketplaces worldwide to 22. To launch the new marketplace, Amazon is offering free delivery on first orders and on subsequent orders above R500 (about $27), access to 3,000 pick-up points, status updates via WhatsApp to track orders, 30 day refunds, and 24/7 customer support. The marketplace was supposed to launch in the country in 2023, but got delayed due to changes in priorities within Amazon.
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In an unlikely partnership, Instacart is partnering with Uber Eats to expand into the restaurant delivery business. Instacart will add a new tab for restaurant delivery to its app in the coming weeks, the listings will be provided by Uber, and the food will be picked up and delivered by Uber Eats drivers. Customers will receive the same prices on both apps and Instacart will receive an affiliate commission on orders. It's a strange partnership though given that Instacart and Uber Eats actively compete on grocery delivery. Are they planning to merge? Uber says no.
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Apple's advertisement for its latest iPad Pro sparked criticism for showing an animation of musical instruments, paint cans, cameras, record players, and other symbols of creativity being crushed by a giant machine, with the output being the new iPad Pro, which the company says is the thinnest Apple product ever. In this context, “crushing” was supposed to symbolize “consolidating” and “compacting” — with the visuals meant to showcase how the new iPad Pro puts the power of all these tools into the hands of creators in one thin device. However online commenters criticized the ad as insensitive and as symbolizing a “destruction of the human experience.” The ad hit the web on Tuesday, and by Thursday, Apple issued a mea culpa and apologized for the campaign.
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Google is encouraging merchants to enable conversion annotations on their Google Shopping ads, which offer social proof that highlight a product's popularity. Conversion annotations like “best selling” or “3K shopped here recently” would provide visual cues about a product’s popularity or sales performance directly in the ad unit. Annotations like these are par for the course with e-commerce retailers including Amazon, Walmart, and Temu, which all employ similar tactics. They can provide valuable info for shoppers and also help with conversions. However they also open data privacy concerns, given that Google is not the actual retailer or marketplace selling the items, so a merchant would have to share this purchase history data from their e-commerce platform with Google — which technically most already do by giving access to GA4.
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Shein is attempting to join the National Retail Federation as it pursues regulatory approval to go public in the US. The company believes that NRF membership would boost its chances of receiving SEC approval. However so far, Shein has been rejected numerous times. An anonymous source familiar with the matter said someone with heavy influence at the NRF is strongly against the Shein's admittance. However board members who spoke to CNBC said that Shein's membership application hadn't come up in meetings, and that they aren't involved in deciding which companies are granted access.
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Amazon is leading the way with selling home goods, capturing 18.8% of consumer home furnishings spending, compared to Walmart's 7.3% market share. Notably, Amazon’s gains in the furniture category come in spite of the company’s decision to phase out two of its three furniture brands last year.
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Stanley, which is projected to do $750M in sales this year, up from $73M in 2019, after seeing its water bottles become a status symbol thanks to TikTok, is now expanding into trendier accessories. The company is launching a line of bags called the All-Day Collection which include a mini cooler, backpack cooler, and Quencher Carry-All, designed for someone to sling their Stanley over their hip.
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Jack Dorsey left the Bluesky board and deleted his account on the service he helped kickstart, claiming that Bluesky was “literally repeating all the mistakes” he made while running Twitter. Dorsey says he never intended Bluesky to be an independent company, but rather, an open source protocol that Twitter was supposed to be the first client of. He also confirmed that he is financially backing Nostr, another decentralized Twitter-like service popular among crypto enthusiasts and run by an anonymous founder.
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Amazon is deploying 50 electric trucks in California, which it claims is the largest EV fleet in the country, as part of its mission to eliminate pollution from its global operations. The trucks will be integrated into first-mile operations, moving goods from container ships at the ports to fulfillment centers, as well as middle-mile operations, transporting packages from fulfillment centers to delivery centers.
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Wix launched a new tool called AI Portfolio Creator, which allows a user to upload and organize large-scale image collections, select the type of portfolio they want, and then have the AI tool sort and generate a portfolio with clustered images, recommended titles and descriptions, and personalized layout options.
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Amazon is now requiring all dietary supplements to be verified by a third-party testing, inspection, and certification organization — which is something that not even the FDA requires. Amazon is the largest supplement retailer in the US ahead of Walmart and Target, and its new requirements are expected to put more pressure on the industry, which is being scrutinized more than ever.
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Alibaba is revamping its flagship retail website Taobao for the first time in seven years with a focus on providing a smoother search and buying process. The website overhaul comes ahead of the 618 sales event, China's second-largest annual shopping event. A few weeks ago I reported that Eddie Wu, the CEO of Alibaba Group, would now be directly overseeing its domestic e-commerce arm which includes Taobao and Tmall Group, and it sounds like he's hitting the ground running with his new responsibilities.
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Amazon is hosting its first-ever Amazon Book Sale, a new shopping event starting on May 15th that offers up to 50% off print best sellers and up to 80% off Kindle Books. The six day shopping event will exclusively run in the US, and Prime-membership is not required to take advantage of the deals.
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FTX reported that nearly all of its customers will receive the money back that they are owed, two years after the cryptocurrency exchange imploded. The company owes about $11.2B to its customers and estimates that it has between $14.5B and $16.3B to distribute to them. The caveat is that customers will receive the USD value of their holdings at the time of the exchange collapse, and not the actual crypto holdings themselves, which means that they'll miss out on all gains during the past two years during which BTC went from around $16k to now over $60k. Better than nothing though, that's for sure.
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800,000 consumers in Europe and the US were duped into sharing card details and other sensitive personal data with a network of fake online designer shops operated from China, which comprised one of the largest scams of its kind with 76,000 fake websites created. The scammers used expired domains to host its fake shops in order to help avoid detection by websites or brand owners, and more than 1M orders were processed in the past three years alone.
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Beyond Inc, which owns Bed Bath & Beyond, Overstock, and Zulily, reported that its Q1 net loss swelled to $72M from $10M a year ago, while its operating loss widened to $58M from $8M. The company's active customers grew to 6M, up 26% from nearly 5M a year ago, however, its average order value dropped to $173 from $220 a year earlier.
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TikTok will begin automatically labeling AI generated content when it is uploaded from certain platforms like DALL.E 3, Adobe Firefly, Photoshop, and Microsoft Copilot. TikTok will also start attaching Content Credentials to content, which will remain on the media when downloaded, allowing other platforms to read the metadata.
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eBay is testing an Add To Cart button in search results that opens a Quick View window, allowing buyers to skip the listing page. Technically the button should probably not be labeled “Add To Cart” since it doesn't perform that action, but rather, displays a quick view window with three buttons: Buy It Now, Add To Cart, View All Details. Sellers are worried that buyers will miss crucial details in the product description that may lead to increased returns and negative feedback.
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Amazon is planning to launch its fleet of drones in Tolleson, Arizona, but the city's extreme temperature is hampering its efforts. Drones can't operate in temperatures exceeding 104 degrees Fahrenheit, a temperature that Tolleson crosses for a full three months of the year.
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A US district judge dismissed X's lawsuit against Bright Data, a data-scraping company accused of improperly accessing X system and violating X terms and state laws when scraping and selling data. The judge basically said that if X owned the data, it could perhaps argue that it has exclusive rights to control it, but then X wouldn't be able to enjoy the safe harbor of Section 230, which allows the platform to avoid liability for third-party content. Can't have it both ways!
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Nintendo is discontinuing its X integration for the switch on June 10th, which means users will no longer be able to post screenshots or videos to the platform from their device. The drop in support also affects games like Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, which had game-specific options to send out tweets. Microsoft Xbox dropped support for X in April 2023 and Sony Playstation dropped the service in October 2023 due to the increase in X's API access fees.
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Amazon claimed that its recordable incident rate — a metric that comprises all injuries requiring “more than basic first-aid treatment” — at its US warehouses has improved by 24% since 2019. However the National Employment Law Project challenged Amazon's injury data in a report last week, claiming that Amazon's overall injury rate in 2023 was 71% higher than that of other employers in the sector at 6.5 cases per 100 workers.
___
Amazon Ads announced three new advertising formats for streaming TV including shoppable carousel ads, interactive pause ads, and interactive trivia ads. Amazon did not say when the new ad types would officially launch, but noted that it will formally present them at a presentation on May 14th.
___
Meta is rolling out an expanded set of generative AI ad tools that can create full image variations with text overlays, expand images to fit across different aspect ratios, and generate alternate versions of headlines and other ad text. The features will become available globally to advertisers by the end of the year.
___
Square introduced a tool called Square Kiosk to allow self-service ordering at fast food restaurants. The device is a combined software, hardware, and payment solution that allows customers to select exactly what they want with customization options, upgrades, and add-ons.
___
The European Parliament announced new measures to make packaging more sustainable and reduce packaging waste in the EU, including reduction targets of 15% by 2040 — which sounds far away but is only 16 years away?! As part of the new rules, the EU will set maximum empty space ratios for e-commerce transportation, ban certain single-use plastic packaging types, and beverage distributors and take-away food will have to offer consumers the option of bringing their own container.
___
Indians who pre-ordered Teslas in 2016 are giving up and seeking refunds of their deposits after Elon Musk canceled another visit to the country last month. Disillusioned Tesla enthusiasts in India say they will now buy a car from the company only if they see it in a showroom, or they'll buy a different electrical vehicle from a company that actually exists in the country.
___
Target is limiting its Pride Month collection to select stores this year instead of rolling out the merchandise nationwide like it typically has for the past decade, due to backlash the retailer experienced last year. Last May customers in certain stores knocked down LGBTQ+ merchandise displays, angrily approached store employees, and posted threatening videos on social media from inside the stores.
___
E-commerce spending from Jan 1 to April 30, 2024 rose 7% YoY to $331.6B, according to Adobe Analytics. One trend Adobe identified during the period is a shift of online spending to purchasing the cheapest goods across personal care, electronics, apparel, home & garden, furniture, and grocery.
___
Plus 7 seed rounds, IPOs, and acquisitions of interest, including Shopify's acquisition of Peel, a tool that integrates with a merchant's tech stack including Klaviyo and Recharge and helps them analyze their sales data to improve customer retention.
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I hope you found this recap helpful. See you next week!
For more details on each story and sources, see the full edition: https://www.shopifreaks.com/bigcommerce-for-sale-openai-gpt-4o-instacarts-unlikely-partnership/
What else is new in e-commerce? Share stories of interesting in the comments below (including in your own business) or on shopifreaks.
-PAUL Editor of Shopifreaks E-commerce Newsletter
PS: Want the full editions delivered to your Inbox each week? Join free at www.shopifreaks.com

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Beginnings. Illustrious. Vivacious. Monstrous. Scintillating. Star-Studded. Nautical. Creeping. Vainglorious. Luminous. Villainous. Venerable. Exuberant. Esteemed. Legendary…. Epic. Wonderful, Briliant, Victorious, Foundational, Iconic!!! Champions. Sixteen of them. One prize. One Ultimate Champion. Who will beat all other winners and become the ultimate winner themselves? As we get ready to close the curtain one last time on Bunny’s Big Brother, let’s find out who is the Shining Star of our champion cast in Bunny’s Pokémon Big Brother CHAMPION ROYALE!
Season Finale: CHAMPION ROYALE!!!
Meet the Cast:
Season 1 – Lance the Escavalier
Season 2 – Carlos the Pangoro
Season 3 – Nickels the Nickit
Season 4 – Xio the Meowscarada
Season 5 – Selene the Lampent
Season 6 – Candy the Wigglytuff
Season 7 – Splaatz the Stunfisk
Season 8 – Dirk the Kricketune
Season 9 – Echo the Arctibax
Season 10 – Mobee the Bewear
Season 11 – Professor Bane the Crobat
Season 12 – Lisette the Solrock
Season 13 – Maeva the Chimeco
Season 14 – Dayley-Jane the Dewgong
Season 15 – DJ Volt Switch the Emolga
Season 16 – Benedict the Chespin
Intro: We are reporting live at the site of Bunny’s Pokémon Big Brother Finale House! The crowd is thick and loud as fans from all over are excited to watch the sixteen champions enter the house LIVE! We stand in Poketopia, home of the Battle Revolution! The Shining Neon Colloseum, in a penthouse suite in the grand city is where the final bout will begin! Here come the Legendary Sixteen right now!!!! Lance the original winner is so stunning in his armor! Carlos has evolved and looks much tougher. Nickels is strutting in conifdent as ever next to Xio, who looks completely unphased by all of the winners around her! Selene fits right in with the bright lights. Looks like Candy is evolved as well and—OH—she tripped over Splaatz. That’s embarrassing and you can tell she isn’t happy even if she’s putting on a smile. Dirk and Echo are next, both eyeing up the competition already. Echo being evolved now already ups his threat level. Mobee gets an uproarious cheer from the crowd! And WOW the Professor gracefully glides over the crowd! He really did escape capture back in Mazda’s Season. Lisette seems to be meditating and Maeva is pumping herself up. She looks a bit snooty now that we know how she really is but we are eager to see how she plays. Dayley-Jane gets another huge cheer from the crowd. She really is a lovable gal ain’t she? DJ clicks a track on the DJ booth to keep one last song playing but then hops out to join the entourage. She’s still keeping up her day job too, so inspiring! Finally, Benedict walks up. Unlike the others, he looks somber. Wonder what his deal is? Oh well, let’s watch them all compete in the bright stadium for the first HOH!
First HOH: In this bright lights HOH, the houseguests all race to complete a task, with the first to complete it knocking someone out of the running. In the first heat, Maeva clears first and knocks out Bane because he came in second and is a huge comp threat. In the next round, Echo wins and takes out Maeva, who just won. Splaatz wins round three by accident and takes out Day, who was big on his original season. Candy wins next and takes out Nickels. Xio takes out DJ, followed by Benedict winning and immediately knocking Xio out. Candy wins again and takes out Dirk. Echo then wins again to take out Candy before she gets too much momentum. Carlos wins and takes out Lance, Mobee then wins and takes out Carlos, Benedict then wins and takes out Mobee! Splaatz wins again and takes out Selene as she is hiding in the background. Lisette wins the next round to take out Benedict. In the final three, Echo wins again and takes out Lisette, as she did a good job hiding til then. In Splaatz versus Echo, the fish surprisingly keeps up with the dragon and at the last second, takes over?!?!?! Splaatz is the first HOH!
Week 1: Splaatz is very confused how he won that last round but Echo comes up and congratulates him. The two get along well and Splaatz works up the courage to ask to be in an alliance, which the dragon happily agrees. Bane goes to Candy to tell her that the villains need to stick together, she agrees and they grab Maeva. She is initially reluctant, not trusting Bane, but she agrees eventually. Mobee goes to monitor the living room like before and DJ flies up to him. They end up chatting and realize they enjoy each other. At the nomination ceremony, Splaatz has decided to put up DJ and Dirk, saying how he doesn’t want to make too much waves and this seems to be the way to do it best. Dirk is unamused and DJ is frightened. Echo gets suspicious of Bane and shares his thoughts with Nickels, they pull in Carlos to form an anti-villain alliance. Benedict eavesdrops and plans his next move. He goes up to Nickels and makes up how Dirk must be playing the villain this time, because he is acting weird. Nickels considers his approach but ultimately decides to trust him as an alliance member. At the veto, Carlos, Echo, and Mobee all play but it comes down to Carlos and Splaatz. Splaatz ends up winning again but while actually trying and is exuberant! DJ pleads with him but he ultimately keeps his noms the same.
After the veto ceremony, Benedict tells DJ to do as he says and trust him, as Gigi did. She agrees and starts buttering up to the villains. She gets Candy to be even nicer to the house and apologize to Splaatz. She also helps Bane create a new game. Meanwhile, Benedict starts prodding Dirk and Day, causing them to be at odds with each other. Dirk eventually snaps and lashes out at Day, shocking everyone. Maeva can tell something fishy is happening but rolls with it since it is week one. At the eviction ceremony in the glittering colosseum, the two nominees tell why they should stay. Dirk is more bitter while DJ stays heartfelt, convincing everyone but a suspicious Maeva. In the end, by a vote of 12 to 1… Dirk, you have been evicted.
Week 2: The next HOH is a high flying roulette-themed obstacle course, based off of the Neon Colosseum’s roulette rules. DJ and Mobee work together to get to the end but Nickels keeps up with them. In the final stretch, Mobee sees Nickels catching up and throws DJ, giving her just enough of an edge to win the HOH! Nickels and Maeva both approach DJ to tell her their suspicions on Benedict’s behavior. At first, they fight, but realizing they have the same goal causes them to cut it out long enough to tell her. DJ is reluctant but Maeva reminds her how he betrayed Gigi and she is firm. Benedict and Carlos become the nominees. Day, Echo, and Maeva play in the veto and Echo actually manages to come out on top over Day. Echo talks with Nickels about saving Carlos but she is hesitant, telling him that Carlos makes a good pawn next to benedict because everyone likes Carlos. He ends up not using it. During the week, Benedict begins making breakfast early, irritating his roommate Carlos and causing him to be grumpier. Xio confronts Benedict for this, telling him he is purposefully making Carlos mad and it’s brutal. He tells her he doesn’t understand the problem if Carlos doesn’t like breakfast. She sneers but doesn’t have a comeback. The next day, Benedict holds a house meeting. He apologizes if he’s been rubbing people the wrong way but he is just trying to fit in since he is newer. Lisette says that everyone should give him a chance, which the villains, Selene, and Mobee agree with. Echo, Carlos, Nickels, and Maeva are all hesitant. At the eviction ceremony, Carlos is grumpy and bitter and doesn’t do much to defend himself. Benedict, again apologizes. In a 9 to 3 vote… Carlos is evicted.
Week 3: Several house membets are completely shocked by Carlos going home, including HOH DJ and his two allies, Nickels and Echo. Also surprised is Xio. The next HOH is an endurance comp called the floor is lava based off of the Lava Colosseum! Mobee, Splaatz, and Xio are the last three remaining. Knowing she was on the outs of the last vote, Xio fights hard to survive, fighting her pain. Splaatz eventually drops and Mobee remains with Xio. Eventually, Mobee drops and Xio wins! Xio already knows her noms. She puts up Benedict next to Selene, as she was one of the people vouching for him last round. Benedict chooses to stay back and not make too much of a scene this round, lest he blow up his cover. Meanwhile, DJ and Mobee plan how to move forward. Maeva is listening in to this convo and realizes how close they are. At the veto, a mental comp, Selene ends up winning by a landslide, saving herself. Maeva rushes to Xio about the DJ and Mobee situation, and points out how Mobee is a comp threat as well. Xio decides Mobee is a good replacement, as he is likeable and a good pawn next to Benedict. Mobee holds a house meeting and cries during it, thinking he was doing so much better at being friendly this time. Maeva calls him out for his crocodile tears and argues that he is putting on an act. Lisette calls out Maeva for being so harsh and chastises her for being such a villain. Maeva asks her if she is planning on voting for him to stay and she is silent, but says that shouldn’t matter. Maeva retorts and says it’s not jury so jury management doesn’t exist yet. At the eviction, Mobee is shaking next to a smug Benedict. Benedict’s speech touches on how Mobee doesn’t seem ready for the big leagues. The bear gets up angrily and almost picks up Benedict, shocking everyone. He stops himself and realizes what he did. The vote comes in and by a vote of 8 to 3, Mobee, you have been evicted.
Week 4: The next HOH begins as they houseguests must ascend a glimmering rock wall, themed after the Crystal colosseum. Day and Maeva take an early lead but are caught up by falling rocks. Lisette closes the gap and eventually surpasses Maeva. Day and Lisette race for the end and… Lisette win! Lisette in her HOH room ponders about who to put up and ally with. She turns to Xio, Day, and Selene as her allies. The Witch’s Coven, as they call themselves, wants to shift the focus, as Benedict is doing too well at not going home. Instead, Lisette targets Maeva, who is playing sneaky, as well as Benedict’s ally, Echo. Bane laughs at Maeva being on the block and she is enraged with him. He says “it doesn’t matter since it’s not jury yet.” Having her own words turned on her, Maeva storms out and swears she will get revenge on him and Candy. At the POV, the witches’ coven is playing with three members and Xio ends up winning! She chooses to keep the nominations the same. Splaatz goes to Lance to tell him how much it means to be there with one of his heros, but Lance mishears him and calls him out for calling him a rude name. The two get in a petty argument where Lance’s bad hearing keeps making things worse. Meanwhile, Maeva tries to get the vote off of her by spreading anti-Benedict propaganda around the house. Day has a change of heart about this and wants to vote out Echo, even while her alliance is targeting Maeva. Benedict, aware his name is still out there, pleads to DJ not to vote out his ally. At the eviction, Maeva thinks she has done enough work but the vote comes out and is a 5 to 5. The Coven is shocked, one of their own must have flipped. But Lisette gets to break the tie, and is all too happy to evict her target, Maeva.
Week 5: The next HOH is themed after the Sunset colosseum, and sees the houseguests racing to stack piles of rubble. Echo, DJ, and Xio make the highest stack but DJ’s crumbles before the time limit. Both wanting to take control, Echo and Xio try really hard to build the highest. The timer buzzes aaaand Echo is the winner! Benedict instinctively high fives Echo and celebrates with him. Later, Nickels is peeved that Echo is so publicly working with Benedict. Echo tells her she had the opportunity to have a good ally but she chose to burn that bridge and that’s her fault. Offended, she tells him to make that alliance with Benedict work out but she won’t be part of it. Echo is saddened, but doesn’t want to put Nickels up. Instead, he shifts the target to former villains, with Bane being the target and Selene going up next to him. Xio cheers that Selene could be going home, making the Lamp angry at her, since they were supposed to be working together. Benedict goes on to win the veto and vows to Echo not to use it. However, at the veto ceremony, he uses it to save Selene, shocking everyone as he winks at Xio. Echo then solidifies this by putting Xio up. Selene goes to her to tell her she is sorry for their misunderstanding but they work together. Candy turns to Lisette and tells her she is tired of working with Bane and if she helps her get the Professor out this week, she will work with her. Lisette agrees, knowing everyone wants Bane out anyways. At the eviction, Xio seemingly patches things up with everyone. The vote comes in, by a unanimous vote… Bane, you are evicted.
Double Eviction: Surprise! The Jury starts tonight and the next HOH is beginning right now with one more person leaving! A quiz colosseum is held in the Sunset colloseum, with one miss causing someone to be out of the running. It comes down to DJ, Nickels, and Lisette. But Lisette gets the last question right and the other two miss, with Lisette winning her second HOH. Lisette puts up Nickels and Day. Nickels because she is playing a lowkey game but making waves in the Benedict situation. Day because she wavered on her vote for Benedict. She doesn’t put down Benedict as he is good for drama and polarizing the house, which is good for her game. Nickels wins the veto and takes herself off. Lisette decides to put up Splaatz, because she is worried he will fumble his way to the end. Most people seem to share this idea except for Echo, who wants to wotk with Splaatz. The vote comes in. By a vote of 7 to 1… Splaatz, you have been evicted and will be moving into the jury house.
Week 6: The Next HOH begins as a race through the mysterious mansion in the courtyard colosseum. No one can tell where anyone is but Candy comes out first and wins! As HOH, Candy calls in Benedict. She tells him he has been playing a sloppy and obvious villain game and he is gonna get evicted too soon if he doesn’t simmer down and get some real allies. He is shocked and admits he just wants to win. She says they all do and the least they can do is help each other. She says she will help him if he keeps causing more chaos and also gets DJ on their side. He agrees and talks to DJ. The squirrel is hesitant but decides it would be a great way of getting revenge on Benedict if she gets the chance. Candy puts up Lance as the pawn next to her target, Xio, who has been against Benedict’s chaos this whole game. DJ goes on to win the veto and chooses to not give Candy any suspicion by not using it. Meanwhile, the witches coven fractures, with Day not agreeing with Lisette and Xio feeling not supported on the block by Selene. DJ infiltrates this meeting after storms out, telling them about Xio being the real target but she has a plan to keep her without drawing suspicion if they can get Day to play nice. Xio borrows an item from Lisette and breaks it. Lisette then goes to “rant” to Day, who is being nice with her, thinking they both will vote Xio. Echo, meanwhile, confirms his alliance with Benedict, and feels like he is finally gaining more traction. But the house takes this the wrong way. At the eviction, the vote comes in, and by a vote of 4 to 3… Lance, you have been evicted.
Week 7: The next HOH begins, a waterfall diving competition, based off of the Waterfall Colosseum. Whoever makes the biggest splash wins! With her natural watery prowess, Day dives in and wins the HOH! Day is approached in the HOH by Candy and Benedict, who ask her to work with them. DJ sees whats happening and goes back to Lisette and Selene. The two talk and realize that they can’t beat Benedict’s control of the house by just going against him, but they have to work with him. So the three of DJ, Lisette, and Selene enter the HOH “accidentally” and propose the six will control the house. They say they want Echo to go on the block, as he is getting too good at the comps. Benedict is hesitant but Candy nudges him, as secretly this will be great for her game. He agrees and tells Day he won’t be mad if this happens. Echo goes up next to Nickels. The two former allies face off in the veto, both bitterly making jabs at the other for turning on them. It comes down to just the two nominees and… Echo edges her out, winning the veto. Echo saves himself and puts the power in Day’s hands to put up a replacement. Her choice is the person not in her alliance who has made affronts to her, Xio. Lisette has the whole house do tarot readings to ease the tension which goes down well. Lisette gets the Sun, a symbol of positivity and creativity. Benedict draws the Moon, symbolizing Illusion and inner conflict. He shudders when the white moon of the card turns red in his hands. Echo draws the Fool, a card of new beginnings but also endings. Selene draws death, the card of change in the game. Nickels draws the Hermit, a card of isolation and reflection. Candy draws the Lovers, with the card representing connections and pairs, symbolizing her manipulation of Benedict. Day draws Strength, a card of inner strength and Willpower. Xio draws the Tower, representing sudden downfall and incredible sudden changes. She shudders and uses the moment to apologize to everyone, saying she wants to be a beacon of hope but got lost. The house receives this well. Benedict considers flipping to Xio because of her show of faith being bad but Candy reminds him that Xio is on the bottom of the pecking order on that side, likely meaning they don’t even have to take her out. He relents and the eviction goes through. The vote comes in and by a vote of 5 to 1, Nickels you have been evicted.
Week 8: The Next HOH begins in the Sunny Park colosseum, with contestants having to hunt for pellets and use them to knock out targets. DJ and Echo prove the most adept but in a last second victory, Echo wins. Benedict goes to Echo in the HOH but Echo has realized too late that Benedict is working with everybody, even causing him to turn on Nickels. Benedict doesn’t try to hide his smug smirk as he agrees and walks out, daring him to put him on the block. He feels this must be hiding something and starts asking around the house for their opinions. Xio reveals the existence of the Witches Coven, and how they have been together for weeks, including saving her last week. Knowing of this alliance, Echo saves Xio and puts up Selene and Day. At the veto, Selene wins. Selene approaches Echo, telling him she knows of someone playing both sides, revealing DJ trying to play double agent. After she pulls herself off the block, DJ goes up as the replacement. Candy works on ingratiating herself with the outsiders in Xio and Echo, trying to forge paths ahead. But is unsuccessful at breaking Echo. Echo is accosted by DJ for putting her up over Benedict. He asks her to say why she was double crossing and she says its because she was trying to sabotage Benedict. If anything, Day, Selene, and Lisette should be the real double agents. Echo goes to rage to Selene for how she tricked him but she swears it was the truth completely, and he chose to believe it in a negative light, not her. Day joins the fight and lashes out at Xio and Selene for being the reason she is on the block. Lisette stays out of it, knowing the time to jump ship is coming up. At the eviction, Dj and DayJay give their pleas, but the votes are tallied. By a unanimous vote… Dayley-Jane, you have been evicted.
Double Eviction!!: Second double eviction because you know we gotta! The HOH starts with a lightning round of dodgeball on wooden poles. Selene is knocked out first. Then DJ gets knocked out by Candy. Lisette falls off on her own. Xio goes after Benedict but is taken out by Candy. Then Candy expertly dodges and takes out Benedict, winning the HOH. She nominates the two people who are on the bottom of the pecking order, Echo and Xio. The veto plays out with Benedict winning. Echo pleads for Benedict to help him out, as they were friends. Benedict doesn’t even look him in the eye as he chooses to not play the veto. Echo pleads to the voters to let him keep playing and he will take out Benedict, but Lisette and Selene have basically already jumped ship and moved on. The vote comes in, and by a vote of 4 to 0… Echo, you have been evicted.
Week 9: With Six houseguests remaining, they are taken to the Gateway colosseum to have mock Pokemon battles. In the first round, Xio beats Lisette and Selene beats DJ, with Benedict drawing a spot in the top 3. In a first to win two times in a row scenario, Selene beats both and comes out victorious. Selene and Lisette decide that they have to cut ties and work with the more devious players to have a better shot at the end. Selene puts up DJ and Xio, with DJ being the target. Benedict is alone in his room when he hallucinates more blood on his paws. He shouts and Xio comes in to see whats up. She helps him calm down and he realizes he is down a bad path. She helps him calm down and he thanks her, even with him harassing her all game she still helped him. Candy witnesses the two help each other out and is beyond irritated, she goes to Selene, who is still iffy on Xio, to warn her. At the veto, Candy wins it. She takes off DJ and Selene spitefully puts up Benedict, who trembles going to the block. Lisette confronts Selene for making such a rushed decision, as the goal was to keep Benedict and his threat around longer. At the eviction, Benedict argues that he has realizes how the game has changed him and he wants to prove how he changed. Lisette doesn’t believe him but DJ seems to be enamored. The vote comes in, and by a vote of 2 to 1… Xio you have been evicted.
Week 10: Five stars remain and there are five points in the Stars of the Main Street colosseum, where the houseguests go to do a full BPBB quiz! Lisette misses one question and gets behind as the other get ahead. It comes down to a tie-breaker between Dj and Benedict and the winner is… DJ! Benedict goes to apologize to DJ for real and she forgives him, happy to see his true self back again. She feels played by Selene and Candy so they go on the block. Lisette is still suspicious of Benedict and starts watching him for suspicious activity, noticing him look at his paws a lot. She decides to talk to him with the ruse of working together. At the veto, DJ wins again and claims her game, choosing not to use the veto. Realizing the danger they are in, Selene and Candy go to their respective closest allies, Benedict and Lisette. The two touch base with Benedict telling Lisette he is fine voting Candy with her, as he doesn’t want to force DJ to have to break a tie. At the eviction, the votes are read and by a vote of 2 to 0… Selene, you have been evicted. Benedict looks over at Lisette with a shocked look, realizing she caught on to him.
Week 10: As the final HOH starts, the houseguest are in the Stargazer colosseum for an epic triathlon of quizzes, endurance, and races. In the first part, Benedict pulls ahead, with Lisette on his tail. He falls behind in part two, giving Lisette and Candy a chance to catch him. The three are neck and neck in part three but Lisette comes out on top! Benedict goes to Lisette on her HOH to grovel but she stops him, saying she misheard the vote last week and though the vote was for Selene anyways so its good he didn’t make poor DJ break the tie. He feels reassured and goes back out. Lisette puts up DJ and Candy as the nominees. Lisette reassures DJ about how Benedict likes her and she wouldn’t go home. Benedict touches base with Lisette, claiming that he knows DJ has too much social traction and needs to go next because of this. On his way out, Candy enters the room and chats with Lisette. She says that the noms should stay the same so DJ can be evicted for sure this week. Lisette doesn’t trust her and tells her to her face she is no better than Benedict, but is powerless without him. The two stare each other down. At the veto, Lisette wins it, and Benedict sighs a sigh of relief. But Lisette shocks everyone by saving Candy and puts up Benedict. Lisette calls him out for faking his turnaround to play with everyone’s emotions. He breaks down, claiming his intense want, no, NEED to win the game. He can’t get it out of his head and it burdens him with the thoughts of betrayal, including the allies he betrayed this season, with Nickels, Echo, and even Xio who showed him so much kindness leaving because of him. DJ is in tears and even Candy can’t watch. Afterwards, Benedict goes to his only real ally, Candy. He begs her for advice on how to get out of this, as she helped him so much. She looks him in the eye as she tells him that he did this to himself. At the eviction, Candy gets the sole vote to evict and casts it to evict, Benedict.
The Reunion: Folks we are live again right outside the Neon Colosseum for the Finale of Bunny’s Pokémon Big Brother Champion Royale! Our Sixteen winners have been whittled down to three and it is not what we expected at all! In a house where everyone wants to be the biggest truck on the highway, we have three mid-sized sedans who have slipped through the gaps and swept their way to the end. DJ VOLT SWITCH, Elesa’s iconic Emolga who created the jams we are listening to even right now! She plays up her social game very well with honesty and loyalty, but is no slouch in the competitions. Though she has been left out of some secrets in the game, she was well=liked in the house and leveraged her position between alliances to get information! Sweet Candy the Wigglytuff who played Sickly Sweet last but downright Sick this time. She got in close with all of the villains but managed to be the cherry flavored licorice that was easier to manage. She avoided detection aligning with big villain Benedict and hiding behind the scenes of his chaos, even almost controlling his moves at points. The Sunstone herself, LISETTE the Solrock, who foresaw victory once, but is this a double reading? Lisette bided her time throughout the game, getting whatever information she could and waiting to play it until the time was right. She was at the center of multiple alliances but always stayed just far enough away from the drama that no one was even targeting her. The Sun? No Lisette is after The World!
Joining us on stage now are the 9 jurors! Starting with Splaatz—Ope watch your step, you gotta be careful or else you’ll trip. Here comes Lance the OG! Though he is old he is still our knight in shining armor. Nickels struts up so casually ooh lala. Here comes Echo, kind of sheepishly, don’t be shy buddy! Day gracefully swims up on stage, still to audience cheering. Wait, the cheering is getting louder? Oh it’s Xio! She is surprisingly well-received. Selene keeps the applause growing. She seems to be goading the audience on with her behavior, not wanting to stay out of the spotlight hmm. And then—oh wow I can’t hear anything with the thunder of the crowd for… Benedict? Interesting outcome here that our little villain has become a real crowd pleaser. Even as he walks to his seat with his head held low.
The jurors speak with our lovely reporter. Lance speaks about how great it was to come back and how this game is way changed from when he won season 1. Xio and Nickels agree, but they still worked hard to adapt to the changes. Selene scoffs a bit, another early winner, she notes that herself and Candy were very well integrated, they just needed to change their approach. Xio says it was much harder playing from the bottom rather than the top and it was a fight, but she had a ton of fun doing so. Day mentions she felt the same way. A house full of winners is not to be underestimated for a second, as they all could be planning many different things behind each other’s backs. Splaatz is—oh he’s asleep… moving on. Nickels asks Echo about how he changed his game this time, and why he turned on her. He apologizes, saying he was blinded by seeing opportunities with Benedict because he didn’t fight with him, only told him what he wanted to hear. And he realized too late that that was a ruse. She accepts his apologies and all eyes turn to Benedict. He looks up, seemingly just noticing eyes are on him. He looks down at his paws. “All I’ve seen since last season is blood on my paws. The need to win never left me. I had to do it at all cost. I lost myself in that game and resorted to every trick in the book to make the winners trust me. And it worked… but I fell deeper and deeper down the hole. And now, I don’t feel like I deserved to win at all.” Xio jumps up and makes him look up. “You deserved your win as much as we all deserved ours. It’s a game, it doesn’t have to define you. You define you, so get up and prove it.” Benedict is in disbelief that Xio is still defending him. “You hear that crowd? They were entertained, we entertained them! Your devioushness entertained them! You gave them a show by tricking a bunch of winners, so own up to it and be the entertainer we know you are.” He gives off a small, barely noticeable,but definitely real this time, smile. Xio turns to the crowd “ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR OUR FINAL THREE???” The crowd erupts in excitement!! “THEN GET READY BECAUSE HERE THEY ARE!!”
Final HOH Part 1: The HOH opens on top of the rotating Roulette wheel in the Neon Colosseum, with the audience now filled and the three houseguests circling in the middle, holding on for dear life. At the same time, they are throwing dodgeballs at each other. Candy is targeting Lisette out of spite, putting on a performance for the audience about how Lisette is a traitor to their alliance. DJ is caught in the crossfire but expertly dodges. She manages to catch a ball that Candy threw and chucks it back, knocking her out. Lisette smiles at DJ but DJ knows she still has to win. She tells Lisette she is sorry but she is done working with people and has to take her game into her own hands, not relying on others to fail but herself to succeed. Lisette agrees, but she wants to be the one to succeed. Lisette lobs a ball at Dj and knocks her out, winning Part 1.
Final HOH Part 2: Part begins with Candy and DJ on the Rotating Roulette platform again, racing around to land the colored balls in order of the competitions and the winners of each one. DJ takes an early lead, having been very aware of the game the whole beginning. Candy struggles at first but when she catches up to leaving the villains alliance and joining Benedict, she takes off, knowing how well she played Benedict as her own puppet that she controlled votes for that she easily crushes the midgame part. Her lead takes her ahead on time going into the endgame. DJ misses a key vote and has to go back, but Candy remembers who saved Benedict countless times, and gets it right, winning part 2.
Final HOH Part 3: The crowd is in uproars as Candy and Lisette reach the stage for final quiz, again on our roulette platform (we paid a lot of money for that). Each juror question goes by, with Lisette and Candy answering in tandem, Both get question after question correct, eventually reaching the last question about Benedict. The crowd is shocked as they both answer together again and… get it wrong. Well, that’s anticlimactic. Benedict sighs, no one knew his true self. But the tie-breaker is revealed, how many rotations has the rotating platform made? With both answering two numbers away from each other, Candy goes just over, eliminating her, and crowning Lisette the final HOH. Lisette has both DJ and Candy in front of her. She doesn’t say much but looks at them. She says that DJ played an impeccable social game and is incredibly loved by the fans and the house. Candy, meanwhile, played a strategic game and almost fooled her a couple times. She turns to Candy “I made a gamble with bringing a social threat to the end before with Amni, but not this time. Candy, let’s give em a show.” And casts her vote to evict DJ.
The Jury Questioning: DJ isn’t shocked, she did a lot this time around and knew she made herself a bigger threat. She exits the house and gets cheers from the audience! She hops to the DJ booth and begins playing the final epic track for the showdown between Candy and Lisette. Both have been in this position before in the final 2 and both have won, but now, only one can become a two-time winner and be crowned the ultimate Champion! Lisette opens with her speech first. She pitches her game strong, how she gravitated towards groups in the early game without committing too strongly, so she didn’t go down with the ship. She still managed to control so many votes in the house by having reach with her Witches Coven and eventually jumping ship and siding with Benedict, as she knew he was under Candy’s thumb and she could infiltrate that alliance to get to the end and destroy it. The jury is impressed by her showing and all eyes turn to Candy. Candy starts saying how she knew her game was already known going into the house and she had to play different. Her main strategy was to fall into the background and connect with the players playing sloppier than her so she could be the puppetmaster and sneak to the end. And for her, that was found in Benedict, who she found it very easy to manipulate. She is the villain they all knew she was but she wasn’t targeted because of her great strategy. She saved Benedict’s game and carried him to the end so that she could have a guaranteed extra life in the endgame with him. Murmurs arise from the jury, Benedict looks incredibly hurt. Xio asks Candy what her biggest move was outside of controlling Benedict. Candy says that she made sure that the villains she worked with got cut before she could get too powerful, even working with Lisette to get out Bane and Maeva. DJ gets up from the booth and asks Lisette why she went to the end with Candy instead of her if she thought Candy was going to be tougher. Lisette clarifies that she thought Candy would be good at explaining her game, but she knows not to rely on other’s failing but on herself to succeed, and DJ has a great story and was well-loved and if she wanted to win, she had to cut DJ and masterfully explain her game to the jury. Benedict finally speaks up to ask Candy if he meant anything to her at all throughout the game. She hesitates, caught off guard, before replying in all honesty that, she wanted to mentor him to be a better player. He says he did well enough for making it to the end twice and didn’t need her to do all that. In their final speeches, Candy says that she used other people as her pawns and navigated a really good game to make it to the end hidden amongst the other players. Lisette says that she played a perfect game, not even touching the block and noting that she has not received a vote against her in either of her games, this one being perfect. She finishes by saying how she played more up front and aggressive to counter the sneakier players of the season and did not back down from the threats that all the winners possessed. The jury is impressed and goes to cast their votes.
Jury Voting: Splaatz says he had a fun time playing again and wants to vote for someone who played really good, even showing him more how to play. Lance says that while some people are old school, some people are REALLY old school, but can still play with the best of the best and be even better. Nickels says she is honored to be in the winners season but one winner played like how she thinks a winner should. Day says she worked with both finalists, but she always felt the house pulling towards one player, as the sun has a lot of gravity and control over the tides. Echo says point blank that he felt the manipulation from both sides, but one felt malicious, and another felt like game, and he knows which he respects more. Xio says that some lines shouldn’t be crossed. Selene says that she was honored to be so thoroughly outplayed, turning from the Queen to the Pawn who was merely a stepping stone in someone elses game, it was thrilling. Benedict silently casts his vote. DJ cues the final tune before hopping down with her vote, saying that it should be obvious. The votes come in… by a vote of 9 to 0… the winner is…
Winner: Lisette!
Runner-Up: Candy!
Confetti cannons and flamethrowers start lighting up the sky with neon streams shining bright all over the sky! Though it is the dead of night, it is as bright as the sun, and Lisette is feeling absolutely radiant. Candy sits in shock, in disbelief. Lisette throws her the Lovers card again. “You misread it the first time so maybe you can learn before you try to tell the fortune teller what her fortune is.” Candy throws the card on the ground in anger and pouts. The jurors go and cheer for Lisette, the ultimate champion and two time winner, STILL having never received a single vote to evict in two entire seasons. The fan favorite vote comes in and… IT’S A TIE???
Fan Favorites: Benedict and Xio!!!
Benedict goes up to Candy, still fuming, and looks her in the eyes. “You know what, you really did teach me something. You taught me that some people never change, but I don’t have to be one of them.” Xio comes up and takes Benedict back to the celebration, sticking her tongue out at Candy as she leaves. The party goes through the night. The sun eventually rises, as Lisette has risen to the top of the competition, as this era of Bunny’s Pokemon Big Brother has come to an end.
My Thoughts: I enjoyed this season a lot. It kept me on the edge as the winners played their games again, some way better than others. Gameplay-wise, I think I preferred last season but I think it’s more so because of the subtle moves made in the dark as no one wanted to be too big of a target. The villains ended up flopping early, which kind of was to be expected, given that everyone else is a relaly smart player to have won. Candy surprised me this time, sneaking in to take over Benedict, being a key player in his storyline, even a bigger villain than he tried to be. It really helped me tie up the storyline really well and I like how it happened. She also played a stellar game again, controlling things from the chaos in the shadows. The other side of the house was not slouching though. Lisette, Selene, Xio, and Day all played smart games, not committing too much to each other but still working well enough to not crumble. Lisette as a winner for this season is great! She put in work to keep her position, as it was in danger of falling apart so much. She leveraged every ally she had and every competition she had to get forward every week. And it worked as she got to the end without hitting the block AGAIN and played a PERFECT game, not receiving a single vote to evict and getting every vote to win. She did that in a winner season too, ultimate winner for sure!
So whats next? Well... that's the end. I knew since the beginning that Season 17 would be the end but it coming up still feels so weird. I am about to start a busy summer and don't have as much time for all of my hobbies but I still feel sad finishing this series. I think I am going to make a series epilogue soon so stay tuned for that but... otherwise that's it. I thank you all again so much for sticking with me the whole time, it's been a wonderful journey!

Updated list as of 14. May 2024
💪OLD CODES FOR NEW PLAYERS💪
🔥New codes included🔥
First, enter the settings (the gear in the top right on the home screen), then go to "Refer a friend", and input:
SOY-38-RED
For 100 free blackstone!
This is a one time use code!
Next, go back to the previous screen and input:
WARHAMMER
AHEM
CAPS
SRSBSNS
GALAXY
SUMMON
YOU
TOUCHGRASS
FRIENDLESS
Sp really had fun with these last 3 lol
TAKETHIS
TYPHUSJACK
DARKSTRIDER
HELBRECHTJACK
MAGNUSMONDAY
NOX1KSONS
ADMECH
SKULLS23
ENHANCE
NANDIOVER9K
SLINKYSBACK
SKULLS24
Enjoy your free stuff and lmk if you pulled something good! Should any of the codes not work anymore tell me so I can update the list
Have some helpful info as well since we're already at it. It always pays off to try and unlock as much of a campaign as possible. The higher level of upgrade farming node unlocked means less energy used meaning faster roster progression.
The following are some of the strongest choices for each campaign:
CAMPAIGN MVP's
Indomitus - Bellator, Isabella, Calgar
Indo mirror - Aleph-null, Makho, Anuphet
Octarius - Gibba, Snappa, Boss
Oct mirror - Burchard, Godswyl
FoC - Angrax, Archi, Rotbone, Abraxas
FoC mirror - Thaddeus, Kut, Yarrick
Saim-hann - Calandis, Eldryon, Maugan Ra
I recommend focusing on Bellator aiming to get him to gold gear rank.
Many new players make the mistake of trying to upgrade lots of different chars at once. In this game it pays to focus on one at a time.
The reason Bellator is the best char to upgrade at the start is because his active will not only carry you through 3 different campaigns(Indom, FoCM, OctM) but also its very useful in every other content in the game.
A good Indom elite team would be: G1 Bellator (active 36+) S2 Certus S2 Varro
I recommend the last two members should be imperials from another campaign, will give you a headstart when it comes to doing there's. Since elite might still be a bit out of reach tho its not a priority yet. Feel free to ask me if you need anything else!

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Lore (Factory New), B/O: $7194.77

★ Butterfly Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2025.74

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★ M9 Bayonet Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $557.87

★ M9 Bayonet Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $529.41

★ M9 Bayonet Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $465.39

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★ Talon Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $1295.27

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth (Minimal Wear), B/O: $746.28

★ Karambit Bright Water (Field-Tested), B/O: $688.15

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★ Flip Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $547.93

★ Flip Knife Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $476.69

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $278.18

★ Flip Knife Black Laminate (Well-Worn), B/O: $258.83

★ Flip Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $181.64

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★ Stiletto Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $686.04

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $665.41

★ Stiletto Knife, B/O: $601.39

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $418.25

★ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $227.80

★ Stiletto Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.96

★ Stiletto Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $192.79

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★ Nomad Knife Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $518.11

★ Nomad Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $169.78

★ Nomad Knife Forest DDPAT (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $166.88

★ StatTrak™ Nomad Knife Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $335.79

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★ Skeleton Knife Stained (Well-Worn), B/O: $442.05

★ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Minimal Wear), B/O: $426.24

★ Skeleton Knife Boreal Forest (Field-Tested), B/O: $314.03

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2361.28

★ StatTrak™ Skeleton Knife Urban Masked (Field-Tested), B/O: $376.53

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★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $557.12

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $471.42

★ Ursus Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $212.37

★ Ursus Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $187.66

★ Ursus Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $178.18

★ Ursus Knife Ultraviolet (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $155.13

★ Ursus Knife Boreal Forest (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.26

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★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Minimal Wear), B/O: $204.83

★ Huntsman Knife Black Laminate (Field-Tested), B/O: $184.50

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Lore (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $224.11

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★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $2142.02

★ Bowie Knife, B/O: $230.44

★ Bowie Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $209.20

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.51

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Falchion Knife Night (Field-Tested), B/O: $132.54

★ Falchion Knife Urban Masked (Well-Worn), B/O: $112.81

★ Falchion Knife Scorched (Field-Tested), B/O: $108.81

★ Falchion Knife Forest DDPAT (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.82

★ Falchion Knife Safari Mesh (Field-Tested), B/O: $107.46

★ StatTrak™ Falchion Knife Ultraviolet (Field-Tested), B/O: $143.08

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★ Paracord Knife Crimson Web (Minimal Wear), B/O: $486.48

★ Paracord Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $163.12

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★ Survival Knife Blue Steel (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $138.26

★ Survival Knife Night Stripe (Field-Tested), B/O: $131.03

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★ Gut Knife Sapphire (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1127.79

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $286.17

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $246.55

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $240.77

★ Gut Knife, B/O: $210.49

★ Gut Knife Lore (Field-Tested), B/O: $194.22

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $151.51

★ Gut Knife Blue Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.94

★ Gut Knife Rust Coat (Well-Worn), B/O: $118.99

★ Gut Knife Boreal Forest (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.80

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $237.96

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★ Shadow Daggers Gamma Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $264.92

★ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $253.03

★ Shadow Daggers Tiger Tooth (Factory New), B/O: $237.22

★ Shadow Daggers Crimson Web (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.40

★ Shadow Daggers Autotronic (Minimal Wear), B/O: $144.42

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $105.20

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $150.46

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★ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $365.99

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Factory New), B/O: $228.93

★ Navaja Knife Marble Fade (Factory New), B/O: $227.43

★ Navaja Knife Slaughter (Factory New), B/O: $209.06

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $203.16

★ Navaja Knife Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $132.57

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Factory New), B/O: $121.69

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Minimal Wear), B/O: $109.95

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $100.41

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Fade (Factory New), B/O: $369.01

★ StatTrak™ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel (Field-Tested), B/O: $109.95

GLOVES

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious (Minimal Wear), B/O: $2394.67

★ Sport Gloves Omega (Well-Worn), B/O: $572.33

★ Sport Gloves Bronze Morph (Minimal Wear), B/O: $338.88

★ Sport Gloves Big Game (Field-Tested), B/O: $323.66

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★ Specialist Gloves Marble Fade (Minimal Wear), B/O: $1652.07

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike (Field-Tested), B/O: $599.14

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (Well-Worn), B/O: $231.57

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot (Minimal Wear), B/O: $126.21

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★ Moto Gloves POW! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $996.99

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Field-Tested), B/O: $383.31

★ Moto Gloves POW! (Well-Worn), B/O: $276.00

★ Moto Gloves Turtle (Field-Tested), B/O: $180.28

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★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Minimal Wear), B/O: $502.29

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe (Minimal Wear), B/O: $180.73

★ Hand Wraps CAUTION! (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $178.32

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★ Driver Gloves Queen Jaguar (Minimal Wear), B/O: $181.01

★ Driver Gloves Rezan the Red (Field-Tested), B/O: $101.66

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★ Broken Fang Gloves Jade (Field-Tested), B/O: $127.88

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point (Minimal Wear), B/O: $124.55

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★ Bloodhound Gloves Guerrilla (Minimal Wear), B/O: $127.94

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (Field-Tested), B/O: $102.55

WEAPONS

AK-47 X-Ray (Well-Worn), B/O: $478.95

AUG Hot Rod (Factory New), B/O: $425.83

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Hyper Beast (Factory New), B/O: $413.95

M4A4 Daybreak (Factory New), B/O: $309.51

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge (Factory New), B/O: $305.43

AK-47 Case Hardened (Well-Worn), B/O: $196.38

StatTrak™ M4A4 Temukau (Minimal Wear), B/O: $174.64

P90 Run and Hide (Field-Tested), B/O: $167.03

AWP Asiimov (Field-Tested), B/O: $153.33

Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike (Minimal Wear), B/O: $140.00

M4A1-S Printstream (Battle-Scarred), B/O: $124.70

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Golden Coil (Field-Tested), B/O: $117.48

AWP Asiimov (Well-Worn), B/O: $115.97

StatTrak™ Desert Eagle Printstream (Minimal Wear), B/O: $112.96

StatTrak™ AK-47 Asiimov (Minimal Wear), B/O: $110.85

Souvenir M4A1-S Master Piece (Well-Worn), B/O: $102.42

AK-47 Bloodsport (Minimal Wear), B/O: $100.53

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Ramese's Reach, Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Apep's Curse, Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Mummy's Rot, Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Black Nile, Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Steel Delta, Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Waters of Nephthys, Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Eye of Horus, Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (ScaraB Rush, Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Sobek's Bite, Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Copper Coated, Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - Factory New (FN), Minimal Wear (MW), Field-Tested (FT), Well-Worn (WW), Battle-Scarred (BS), Stickers Holo/Foil/Gold - Katowice 2014, Krakow 2017, Howling Dawn, Katowice 2015, Crown, London 2018, Cologne 2014, Boston 2018, Atlanta 2017, Cluj-Napoca 2015, DreamHack 2014, King on the Field, Harp of War, Winged Difuser, Cologne 2016, Cologne 2015, MLG Columbus 2016, Katowice 2019, Berlin 2019, RMR 2020, Stockholm 2021, Antwerp 2022, Paris 2023, Swag Foil, Flammable foil, Others - Souvenirs, Agents, Pins, Passes, Gifts, Music Kits, Cases, Keys, Capsules, Packages, Patches

Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.

Send a Trade Offer for fastest response. I consider all offers.

Add me for discuss if there is a serious offer that needs to be discussed.

Hello and welcome to a very special installment of The Great Spice Off! What is The Great Spice Off?
I love the scent of Old Spice, so much so that it's the only aftershave I use as I don't really feel a need to splash anything else on. But, as we all know, Old Spice no longer makes shaving soap. They do still make a cream but that's hardly a great soap and it doesn't actually smell like Old Spice. As such my plan is to test out all the Old Spice options that are out there on as many bases as possible both to try out a variety of bases from different soapmakers and to report back to you on who really nails the scent.
I'll be shaving three times with each soap, using a variety of brushes and razors, and blades. Yes, I know that means it won't be exactly scientific but this is going to take a while and I want to use all my other shit too. Soaps will be rated on a few factors and given points from 1-5 for each.

• Oldness: How much does the soap smell like OG Old Spice. This is the more analytical scent analysis and I'm comparing to an OG Old Spice aftershave I have and the Shulton aftershave from India.
• Spiciness: This is the je ne sais quois of Old Spice. Does the soap make me feel the nostalgia, warmth, and whatever it is about the scent that works. Is there something special about it that makes it stand out? Does it invoke a memory or make a new one? The most subjective of this list.
• Lather: You know, can I make a shave soap out of it.
• Shave: How's it work on the ol' face while shaving.
• Post: How's the scent profile after the event. How does my face feel.

Crowne & Crane The Spice

And so we enter (for now) into a strange little corner of Old Spice dupery that I honestly wouldn't have even entered if I had read the description of The Spice before ordering it long ago. Also, if Crowne & Crane hadn't named the soap something pretty inaccurate. Also, also, if I hadn't accidentally picked up a second dupe of the scent recently. Yes, The Spice is not an Old Spice dupe but an Old Spice Limited Edition (LE) dupe.
Record Scratch. Double Take. Wuuuuuuuh!???
So you're asking yourself what the heck is an Old Spice LE. Well, despite what most think, Old Spice has had many scents over the years and almost none of them are riffs or new twists on their original Old Spice scent. Old Spice, the company/brand, made a plethora of scents throughout the history of producing Old Spice that, while all fell in the kind of old fashioned scenting category, had nothing to do with what we think of as Old Spice. Old Spice LE was one of these scents. From the dating I can find online, it was released sometime in the early 90s and stuck around for a chunk of that decade and possibly into the 2000s. It's also possible it was a scent released every couple of years as I can see a few different bottle versions. I don't actually know that much about it, have never smelled the original myself, and the Internet is not actually full of Old Spice product history let alone a defunct aftershave from the early 90s.
Whatever the history, what appears to be consistent is that it came in a clear bottle and was called Limited Edition. It also featured a base of amber, cedar, and woods with supporting notes of cardamom, lavender, moss, and jasmine, and citrus top notes. As you can see, aside from the citrus, it doesn't have all the much in common with Old Spice but that hasn't stopped a fragrance seller from selling a dupe of the discontinued scent for those who may still be looking for it. And so, there are soapers out there who pick this scent up for whatever reason instead of actual Old Spice. Actually, there are only two and Crowne & Crane are the only ones I can find doing it intentionally (more on that in a future review). They're also naming it The Spice, which is a little misleading considering the only spice scent in it is cardamon and given the lavender, citrus, and moss present its clearly intended to be somewhat of a fougère. The Spice, I think we can all agree, is not the name anyone would give a fougère.
So why then am I even reviewing it? That is like asking why do people climb Everest? Why do athletes push their body to the extremes? Why does the woodchuck chuck wood? If these questions could be answered then perhaps I could answer why I am reviewing this. But they can't be.
Crowne & Crane was founded in 2016 by Karl and Liz, whose last names I can't find so we'll call them Karl Crowne and Liz Crane. Karl was an enthusiast it looks like before going into the ol' soapmaking business and, being founded pre-2020, is officially an ol' timer in the artisan soap industry. Despite that longevity they aren't really all that popular around these parts with u/PhilosphicalZombie and u/loudmusicboy literally being the only two folks who appear to use them regularly if at all. I'd say that's maybe because they're not just a shave soap company but Stirling isn't either so that logic kind of flies out the window. Then again, we're a bunch of grown men and women telling other people how we removed hair from our bodies on a daily basis. Logic means nothing here.
Crowne & Crane have two bases, vegan and tallow. Most of their soaps are in tallow only and that's what The Spice comes in so that's what we're working with here. Of note is a commitment to organic, humanely-raised cows for the beef tallow, which is always a plus in my book (and sustainably sourced palm oil). The soap itself is kind of dry and chalky, not in a bad way and it wasn't hard or falling apart. It's a soft, dry soap, which are not contradictory things. The base is made up of Potassium Tallowate, Sodium Tallowate, Potassium Stearate, Sodium Stearate, Aloe Vera Juice, Potassium Cocoate, Sodium Cocoate, Phthalate-Free Fragrance, Potassium Shea Butterate, Sodium Shea Butterate, Kokum Butter, Sodium Lactate, Glycerin, Lanolin, Tussah Silk. Nothing to much to comment on here except I can't stop saying the word tussah over and over in my head. It's a weird word and now it doesn't feel real I've said it so much. Tu... ssah. Tooo suuuhhh...
The labeling is a nice vintage boat symbol, which, again, is a bit misleading given the LE branding was very much a modern (for the 90s) Old Spice look, not the classic schooner branding of the OG Old Spice. If you weren't paying attention (*cough* me *cough*) you might just order this thinking you got an Old Spice dupe and open the lid to find you most assuredly did not. Well, open the lid is a bad description as I bought their 3 oz puck option instead of the 5 oz jar and it came wrapped in paper. 3 oz, by the way, is a great mid-price option that gives you more than a tiny sample but not a full plastic tub. I'd be perfectly happy to have other shaving companies offer this... please... please... there's so much soap under my sink. So... much... soap.
(Sidenote: if you are looking to get their soaps, do it quick as they're going on hiatus during a move in two days!)
Oldness: 0
As a scent not designed to smell like Old Spice this one knocks it out of the park. In fact, it does such a great job not smelling like Old Spice I'd put it up there with some of the greatest scents that don't smell like Old Spice ever made. Have a scent that doesnt's smell like Old Spice that you love? This one smells as much not like Old Spice as that one does! If you're looking for something that doesn't smell like Old Spice but has the word Spice featured in its name and the words "Old" and "Spice" in the description next to each other than this is the soap for you.
Spiciness: 3
This is actually a pretty solid scent even if its called The Spice but isn't really a spicy scent at all. It's definitely a vintage scent, though, and reminds me a bit of Seaforth! Spiced but not as good. Because of that I'm going to say that it still captures a bit of that classic feel that Old Spice gives you even if its a scent from the 90s, a decade that has yet to fall into the "classic" zone and thus still feels like everything from it was cringe (including teenage me).
Lather: 5
What an absolutely brilliant lather The Spice kicks up. From the moment water hits it turning it into a thick prot-lather to the gloriously shiny conclusion, it's just a pleasure to lather. The soap is super thirsty, which can often lead to some dialing issues but I never had those aside from having to add a lot of water to both my larger scoop shave and my medium scoop. You don't need a lot of soap to get this going big and it's really easy to get there and looks great the entire time. If you were going to make an ad about shave soap -- as we all dream to do -- and needed a pretty lather to build up this would be a great choice.
Shave: 3
The Spice offers an incredible cushion of soap that can tackle even the most aggressive razor, making it feel barely there on your skin. However, it is, at best, mid-tier on its slickness with limited residual slickness too. As I reduced the amount of soap I used on each shave I figured I'd eventually hit a lather that was both full of cushion and slickness, but even on my final shave with the least amount of lather I wasn't too impressed with the glide provided. There's slickness there, it's not like dragging some sort of pillowy sandpaper over your face or anything but despite the copious amounts of water I added it never truly peaked.
Post: 2
The Spice's Old Spice LE scent isn't exactly complimentary with either my Indian Old Spice for the vintage one. It's not an afront to the nostrils or anything (sometimes I picture what nostrils being afronted would look like and it weird me out) but it ain't great. It probably plays a bit better with the more floraly vintage spice if I was forced to choose one by some deranged wet shaving person forcing people to shave with stuff. The soap also left my skin feeling a little sticky for some reason, like there was a layer of it still on there. That dissipated quickly but it was an odd sensation.
Final Verdict: 13
Crowne & Crane might be one of my favorite soaps to lather as it's easy to do, looks fantastic, lathers big, and just drinks up the water. It's just kind of fun working it into a lather and for someone who appreciates the process of wetshaving that's a big deal. The shave doesn't quiet live up to the lather, though, despite some really great cushion. Where it really disappoints is the post shave where it not only still doesn't smell like Old Spice (even if it was never trying to) but also left my face feeling a little icky. No one likes an icky face, just ask .
Previous Great Spice Offs:

1. 1940s Old Spice Shaving Soap in Vintage Mug (9)
2. 1973-91 Old Spice Shaving Soap (7)
3. Old Spice Shaving Cream (Original) (12)
4. Master Soap Creations Vintage Spice (19)
5. Black Ship Grooming Classic (17)
6. OSP Old Gold (19)
7. Chiseled Face Groomatorium Trade Winds (17)
8. Wholly Kaw Twice as Spice (17)
9. Barrister and Mann Barrister's Reserve Spice (21)
10. Mama Bear Aged Spice (10)
11. MERShaving Old Timer Spice (20)
12. Soap Commander Endurance (20)
13. Signature Soaps Novus Spice (17)
14. Hoffman's Shave and Soap Company Burn the Ships (19)
15. Phoenix Artisan Accoutrements Cold Spice (15)
16. Hendrix Classics & Co Commodore (20)
17. Ginger's Garden Old Spice Type (15)
18. Lisa's Natural Herbal Creations Mariner (10)
19. Stone Field Shaving Company Ltd. No. 37 (18)
20. Cooper & French Old Goat (19)
21. The Holy Black Artisan Line Shaving Soap (21)
22. Stirling Soap Co. Stirling Spice (20)
23. Van Yulay Spicy Man (10)
24. Pinnacle Grooming The Good Ship OS (15)
25. Mystic Water Soap Windjammer (14)
26. The Village Soap Smith Old Spice (Type) (14)
27. Cloud Shave "Unscented" (13)
28. Wet the Face Spices From the Sea (17)
29. Artifact Soapworks Old Spice (Type) (15)
30. DentonMajik Ole Fife (21)
31. Phoenix Artisan Accouterments Oud Spice (17)
32. Lativ Natural Skin Revival Shaving Soap Old Spice (8)

Special Editions

• Summer Break Soaps Remote Learning
• Spearhead Shaving Company Seaforth! Spiced
• Eleven Shaving Unscented/Hendrix Classics & Co Commander

I'm also looking for the below soaps if you've got any you're willing to sell/trade/donate:

• Wild West Shaving Co. Snake Oil
• Wickam Spice Trade
• Occult Grooming Essentials Modern Spice
• Fougare Salem

I already have these soaps that I have not reviewed yet:

• Bundubeard Reijger
• Bundubeard Drommedaris
• Bundubeard De Goede hoop
• Areffa Soap The Sea Son

I'm trying to return my laptop into repairs, and Acer sent me a link to print out a return label to return for free. However, the link just takes me to a black and white site with some code output that says
" "SHIPPING.DOCUMENT.NO.BYTES", "
"message": "We are unable to process this request. Please try again later or contact FedEx Customer Service."
I'm just trying to get this done with losing as little brain cells as possible. Would it be faster for me to go through Acer or Fedex customer service to get this fixed, or even go into a fedex store and see if I can just get something printed out there? I want to avoid waiting forever through one just to have them tell me I have to go through the other instead.

Reddit Account: kgdaguy
Discord Tag:justkaegjuice
Name and House: Aelor Belaerys
Age: 25
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: Silver hair kept short but wild in appearance, purple eyes and of average height. Prefers to wear an amethyst in his right ear ensnared by a white serpent, similar to that of his house banners and rarely ever without perfumed attire.
Trait:Agile
Skill(s):Dragonrider, Nimble, Skulker, Ravenmaster, Infiltrator
Talent(s): Fishing, Painting, Likes to sing but not the best at it.
Negative Trait(s):
Starting Title(s):Heir to Aegon’s Rest, The Father’s Flame, Dragonlord
Starting Location: Opening Party
Alternate Characters: N.A

Bio

Aelor Belaerys was born on Dragonstone to Baelor and Baela Belaerys. His father was occupied marching with the Targaryens leaving his mother to birth the child with the aid of Dragonstone servants. He would be the eldest of their two children with his sister Aelora being born a few years after and from a young age, Aelor was expected to follow in the footsteps of many Belaerys before him.
He was set to be a warrior, a man sworn to serve the Targaryens with nothing but a farm to his name. A faded legacy clung onto his name but even young, his mother would often tell him that she’d prayed to Arrax, the father of all Valyrian people, that her child, her jewel, would one day find great power and restore their house to its former glory.
For seven years he’d live on Dragonstone and for a short period in Aegonsfort before the King was killed, by Tullys they’d claimed. Aelor was too young to understand what had happened but he remembers his family moving to the Riverlands where they ‘had a new home’ given to them by Visenya Targaryen, the Warrior Queen.
Life seems perfect for Aelor who has taken to the role of heir quickly. Where he was once destined to learn how to wield a blade, instead Aelor found himself a fan of the finer arts, things like painting, singing and singing had filled his time. That bothered his father who believed that his heir needed to be a strong knight in hopes of filling his boots upon his death.
That displeasure grew into rage when the Maesters told Baelor that Aelor would often ignore lessons, when their Master-at-Arms told him that Aelor skipped training sessions and worse when Aelor instead skipped lessons and training all together to paint a ruined tower of Aegon’s Rest.
But before Baelor could lash out, his beloved Baela would die unexpectedly, the cause unknown but natural according to the Maesters. This alone would give Aelor a few years of reprieve from punishment as Baelor pulled his claws away from all his children and focused on his lordship.
They’d return when Aelor was fourteen however when the boy had begun to spend too much time with the Rivermen smallfolk in one village or another. By this point the Maesters had grown tired of Aelor, he was rebellious, quick to let his temper run wild and worse, dyslexic which made learning a battle in itself.
For all the perceived problems that Aelor had caused his father, Baelor decided the only way to correct the boy was lock him away in the castle and ensure he was taken to all his lessons by a flock of servants, but unlike the ones from the Riverlands, Baelor ensured only men and women from Dragonstone and Driftmark surrounded the boy.
In 16 AC, after four years of trying to correct Aelor’s foolishness, Baelor finally had enough after Aelor’s constant escapes, ploys and just in general sheer dimwittedness he decided it was time to replace him as heir and worked on getting remarried, asking the Queen Rhaenys to aid him in finding a wife amongst the Westermen.
And so Baelor brought Aelor into his solar, where he’d tell his son plainly that he’d found a match in Jeyne Westerling. Expecting the boy to lash out, he’d run around the fact but eventually he’d say it plainly. Aelor would no longer be his heir when their son was born, he would lose his inheritance for he was a dimwit, a shame upon their house and a disappointment to his father.
Aelor would never forget those words.
He’d gathered plate armor, a sword and some gold, much to his siblings, cousins and uncles dismay and ran off to King’s Landing. Few knew his surname when he’d arrived and that resulted in the young boy joining the first group of hedge knights he’d come across.
For six months he’d leap from one to another until he’d settled down with a group of older knights led by Ser Jon Costayne. A reachmen who’d jumped ship when Aegon first landed made for a perfect mentor to the young Belaerys, he was everything he’d wanted his father to be and Jon was in need of a squire so he’d take him in.
Life was sad and dark for him during the two years he’d spend as a hedge knight traveling the Crownlands and the Vale. At some point he’d even made it to White Harbor before sailing back go King’s Landing.
During his time with the band, the Costayne would often jokingly call him a Dragonlord, in part harmless joking but some bit of it often followed him telling the boy to make for Dragonstone to tame one of the beasts that lived there.
Jon would often say that Aelor and Aegon were only a few letters apart, why couldn’t the Belaerys take the Black Dread? When he’d tell him that the Queens would take his head, Jon would claim the Big Bitch could take both the Queens and then some.
Eventually those jokes however turned serious and Jon convinced him that the only way he’d get out of his slump, that he’d keep his inheritance was to take a dragon from the island Aelor once called him. Had it not been for news reaching him that his younger brother had been born, Aelor might have shrugged it off and kept to his lonesome life.
But the birth of Aegon Belaerys to Baelor Belaerys and Jeyne Westerling lit a fire under him. One fierce enough to cause him to make his way to Dragonstone, up the Dragonmont and into the lair of the a dragon he’d heard much of from his upbringing.
Veraxes
His mother used to tell him that there were two dragons that all the naughty boys and girls should avoid for fear that they would sense their bad tendencies and eat them whole. The first was Cannibal, a foul creature that ate it’s own kind and spared no little boy either. The second…now that one was one that used to scare him most as a boy.
But he was no longer a boy. He had sought her out. Brought with him meats from his family's old farm now run by the seeds of House Targaryen.
She was said to be ugly, that her belly was filled with cattle, children, and just about anything that bled. That she would eat until she was incapable of moving. The Golden Menace they’d call her for her tendency to burn those who came too close or simply bothered her while she ate elsewhere on the island.
He would see her as anything but a menace that day. Now her weight he couldn’t change but her demeanor was unlike what they’d all claimed it to be. The She-Dragon turned her gaze from the bones of cattle she was picking away at. Even in the dark lair he could see those bright golden eyes watching his every move.
She rushed forth, the ground shook with each step the rotund dragon took until she was practically atop Aelor and then she let out a snarl. He’d later learn that this was simply her way of telling him that he would not get her food, she’d taken it herself and not a soul could take it away from her.
Instead of growing fearful, Aelor held out the cows head for her. Veraxes thought he meant that he’d his own food which meant none of hers was going to be eaten. But then he’d throw it towards her. The first of many offerings he’d make to the dragon.
Over the entire night and next morning he’d slowly inch towards her, pushing her boundaries, each time feeding her as he got closer until he’d eventually be able to mount her the next day.
When she took off for the first time over Dragonstone he’d felt truly alive. He was the first Belaerys Dragonlord since the Doom and he felt great ecstasy for a few hours until he’d realized what this meant to the world at large.
Knowing that if he’d returned to King’s Landing Orys might just decide to kill him the moment he was away from her, Aelor flew home to Aegon’s Rest. There he’d find thousands of men camped outside his home, all prepared to wage a war he’d not heard of.
His uncle Baelon would be the first to see him atop the beast as he’d landed in a field. Aelor would tell him what happened and Baelon would tell the boy that he’d felt great pride in him but war had come and they needed that dragon more than they ever had.
His uncle would tell him that his father Baelor had sided with the Blackwoods in a dispute between them and the Brackens. The conflict had grown larger than just a petty squabble and houses from as far as the North had begun to march for one side or another.
It’d be then that he’d see his father at the gates of Aegon’s Rest, rushing towards him and it would be then that he’d make up his mind and climb back atop Veraxes. He’d wondered if this was what the first Dragonriders had felt like when they’d rode without a saddle.
As the Golden Menace took off and tents flew in all directions, he’d set his sights to the Northeast where he’d followed the River until he’d found a clash between the Brackens and Blackwoods. He’d imagined one side or the other and thought he’d come to help but the Veraxes had come for neither side, not here for either.
In the end, both forces would be given a simple demand. Return to your homes, embrace peace, or stick to your paths and enter the afterlife hand in hand.
All but a few chose to burn.
This would mark the day that the Aelor the world now knows was born. He’d taken inspiration from what he’d thought Aegon, Visenya and Rhaenys had said to those they’d conquered and it had worked. It meant he was like them, a true Dragon in the flesh.
He’d return home after ending that war and write to the Targaryens and the Baratheon letting them know that he’d ended the conflict in the name of the Crown. A hope that it would be enough to placate them enough to ensure they did not hunt him down and it had worked.
His father Baelor seemed to have shifted his tone now that Aelor rode Veraxes, where he’d once called him a disappointment to their bloodline and their people, he’d now call him the saving grace of the House Belaerys.
Aelor did not take a liking to that change but he could not bring himself to say anything, negative nor positive about his father instead he’d simply asked to meet his younger brother Aegon. The boy was like him, silver haired and lilac eyes.
He’d wanted to hate him. To demand that his father send Jeyne off to the Silent Sisters and that the boy be given away to the Faith or the Maesters to do as they wished but he couldn’t bring himself to do that either.
Instead he’d told his father that Aegon’s Rest would be his when he’d died and just as quickly as he’d returned he’d left again. Travel called to him and he’d wanted to show Jon Costayne Veraxes.
He’d spend a few years embarking on his travels, though he’d long leave Jon behind after offering him a position in Aegon’s Rest. His travels would take him to much of the Westerlands, the Reach, the Vale and the Stepstones where he’d met the Queen Rhaenys for the first time. There he’d live for a short period where he’d partake in their parties, meet a girl called Zhoe Whitemane.
Funny thing she was. A Valyrian with the touch of the North. Quickly he’d befriend her and eventually before he’d departed back home, he’d find himself as being more than just the average friend, the type that held hands scandalously.
His return to the Riverlands marked an interesting period. Aelor flies to all it’s corners, no regard for which Lord Paramount claims what domain. The skies of the land that holds Rivers are his and all who sit below them are under his protection, often he’d say he does so in the name of the King but what King?
Only time can tell.

Timeline

1 AC - Born to Baelor and Baela Belaerys.
7 AC - Moved to Aegon’s Rest after King Aegon’s death.
12 AC - Mother dies.
14 AC - Vibes with the Smallfolk around Aegon’s Rest a bit too much for his father’s liking, gets told he cannot leave the keep without his permission.
16 AC - Father decides he’s a shit heir and wants a new one so he weds Jeyne Westerling causing Aelor to run off to King’s Landing.
18 AC - Aelor under pressure from Jon Costayne decides to snatch up Veraxes on Dragonstone the year his younger brother and replacement Aegon is born, securing himself as heir.
19 AC - Begins to travel Westeros, goes to Summerhall and finds out that parties are kind of cool. Meets Zhoe Whitemane and becomes her bff4life.
21 AC - Settles back into Aegon’s Rest.
25 AC - Present.
Family Tree
Name and House: Baelor Belaerys
Age: 45
Cultural Group: Valyrian
Appearance: Long silver hair reaching his shoulders, purple eyes and a slender build. The Lord of Aegon’s Rest naturally appears unamused and irritated in appearance.
Trait:Inspiring
Skill(s): Tactician(e), Cavalryman
Talent(s): Fishing
Negative Trait(s):
Starting Title(s):Lord of Aegon’s Rest
Starting Location: Opening Party
Alternate Characters: N.A

Bio

Born twenty years prior to the Conquest to Monterys Belaery and his younger sister, Jaenara Belaerys. Baelor has two siblings, Baelon and a younger sister named Elaena. He spent his entire youth on Dragonstone until he’d grown to become a member of the household guard for the Targaryens.
During the Conquest, he’d land with Aegon at what is now known as King’s Landing with his father Monterys Balaerys, ever faithful warriors to the Kings cause. He'd die in the arms of his child during the Field of Fire.
He would go down as one of the hundred men who fell for Aegon against the Reach. Even now Baelor can recall the sight, he’d cut down two men when he’d witnessed his father fall as arrows riddle his aged body. Instead of pushing on and charging, Baelor would fall to his knees beside his father and seek to shield him as he looked up towards those banners in the distance.
A red huntsman preparing to let loose once more but then his savior would come. A bright flash turned everything in the distance into flame. He remembers men ablaze running in all directions as they cooked.
Aegon had burnt them too late but he did not blame his kin as his father died in his arms. This was the war they’d signed up for, the cause they’d devoted themselves to. All so they could fight and earn a place in what Monterys called the remaking of Valyria.
And so Baelor continued on in his father’s memory. Loyal and faithful as ever. When the Conqueror took the faith, so did he, when Aegon made North to face the Starks, he marched albeit well behind in the army.
Forever loyal to the cause that was Aegon Targaryen, as many were. But that cause would crumble when the Tullys killed his beloved King, a man he'd served, a man he'd die for, a True Dragonlord.
Much to Baelor's surprise he’d gain a Lordship, his line's long loyal efforts, their staunch desire to fight for the Targaryens and in truth partly sheer luck on his part given he was nothing but a knight swore to the Dragonlords had finally amounted to something.
Visenya would bestow upon him Aegon's Rest. To say that he was surprised would be an understatement. He had no great displays of valor, no moments where he’d made himself any more remarkable than any other man but the Queen had granted his line the burnt ruins of Riverrun, now named in the honor of the man he’d once served.
Still he knew that he was no true Lord, he was but a warrior who had served the Targaryens and he’d wanted his son to be more than that. He knew that his child could do what many before him had hoped for, that he could finally amount to something since the fall and this was his chance to make his ancestors proud.
The boy was young enough that he was easily shaped into the Westerosi way of life in the years following Aegon’s conquest. Aelor had to be a knight he’d thought, skilled in Rivermen matters, charming and bold. That was what Baelor had dreamt for Aelor but his son was anything but the making of a Knightly Statesmen.
Aelor was too slow with a blade, letters move about in his mind and made his Maesters grow tired of the boy and his temperament, oh how horrible the boy was they’d proclaim! Spoiled by his father and mother, by servants and smallfolk who’d thought him charming and sweet.
It was when his sister-wife died that Baelor would lessen his grip on Aelor. Grief overtook him and he’d hoped that would be the wake up call for Aelor but it wasn’t. The boy was a rebel, loved by the smallfolk but too darn incapable of being the perfect Lord he’d envisioned he’d be.
Many years later he’d decide he had enough. Baelor doesn’t recall calling his son a disappointment to his people but he did say the boy was not his heir and that he’d already found a new bride to make one with.
He’d wed Jeyne Westerling the next year and would sire a child with her the year after. They’d call him Aegon in honor of the Conqueror. It’d be months after the birth that he’d receive a letter from Raventree Hall asking for his assistance and given that he’d felt closer to the Blackwoods, Baelor would begin to raise his men in preparation for war.
That was when his son would return, a different man now with a dragon. He’d felt as if the dream had come true, that the House Belarys had returned to their true place on the food chain and he’d wanted to congratulate his son when he’d returned but Aelor fled, his brother Baelon would tell him that the younger Belearys had gone to fight the war.
That made him proud.
And that pride would shatter when Aelor returned and told him he’d stopped the war. The happy and charming boy stood before him stoic, quiet, as if he didn't want to be in the same room as him.
All his son would say was that he’d wanted to see his brother and he saw him. After that, Aelor would say Aegon’s Rest belonged to him and he’d have it once the old man died and that was rather sad to hear from one’s own son.
For years after Baelor would not see his boy but he’d hear that Aelor was see in this region or that region. He’d use the boon that came from having a dragonrider son to push himself into powerful places in various courts, Casterly Rock albeit he did not remain there long and of course across the Riverlands as a whole.
His goal was to display power through his son and even if he were away, he’d do it.
When Aelor returned he’d find that his son had forever been changed. No longer was he some great rebellious spirit but instead a man who believed himself better than even his own father. Some of the Smallfolk would even claim that he was the ‘Father’s Flame’.
They did not see his drinking albeit he’d stop eventually. They did not see how he’d carried himself as if he were some God.
Baelor knew that this was what every ancestor he’d had since the Doom had wanted but Aelor was different than most men now and that Veraxes was a pain in the ass to feed.

Timeline

20 BC - Born to Monterys and Jaenara.
2 BC - Sires the bastard Daemon which results in his parents wedding him to his sister, Baela the next year.
1 AC - Lands with Aegon and watches his father die in the Field of Flames due to the Reachmen.
7 AC - Aegon dies, he weeps for his King and Visenya grants him Aegon’s Rest. They dedicate a Dark colored sword akin to Dark Sister on their banners in her honor.
12 AC - Baela dies and he pulls away from his son Aelor.
16 AC - Tells Aelor to kick rocks and weds Jeyne Westerling.
18 AC - Aegon is born.
Baelon Belaerys - Magnate
Aemon Belaerys - Builder

Hi everyone! All of the costs you see listed below include fees, what you see is what you pay. My timezone is GMT+12 in case you’re wondering why I may be taking a while to reply to you, however rest assured I will when I’m awake!
 
If you’re new to trading on reddit, read this guide on how to link your RSI account to your Reddit account and then just reply below with … well anything really so I can see your RSI account in the flair then drop me a PM with what you’re after.
 
If there is something you want but don’t see listed such as a specific LTI CCU’d ship or if you have any questions on trading or CCUing then please feel free to drop me a DM. Note: I will not trade using chat’s and any chat requests will be directed to use DM’s. This is because chat’s can be deleted but DM’s cannot so it is safer for us both to use DM’s.
 

Referrals 🎖️

If you haven’t yet created your account, please read this guide on the referral system and consider using my referral code which is STAR-LN2R-X9QF. If you would like me to add a referral to your account it will be $25.
 

Subscriber Store

I can get you anything listed here on the subscriber store at cost + PayPal fees, please feel free to send me a message and I’ll let you know what the total cost will be.
   

Ships 🚀

   

Stand Alone Ship
Ship	Insurance	Status	Melt	Price
600i Explorer Best In Show 2953	10Y	Flyable	475	575
Corsair Best In Show Edition 2953	10Y	Flyable	250	305
Redeemer Best In Show Edition 2953	10Y	Flyable	330	400
Vulture Best In Show Edition 2953	10Y	Flyable	175	215
Zeus MkII MR with Solstice Paint	LTI	Concept	170	210​

 

LTI CCU'd ships	Insurance	Melt	Price
400i	LTI	245	205
Corsair	LTI	245	205
Eclipse	LTI	295	255
Hurricane	LTI	190	165
Reclaimer	LTI	395	340
Redeemer	LTI	325	270
SRV	LTI	145	135
Vanguard Sentinel	LTI	270	235​

   

CCU’s ➡️

Standard CCU's from buyback
From	To	Melt	Price
Freelancer	350r	15	19
Constellation Andromeda	400i	10	12.5
Prowler	600i explorer	35	42.5
C2	600i touring	35	42.5
Prospector	A1	45	54
Sabre	A1	30	36.5
Carrack	A2	150	180
Hammerhead	A2	25	31
Constellation Andromeda	Apollo Medivac	35	42.5
Constellation Andromeda	Apollo Triage	10	12.5
Constellation Andromeda	Ares Ion	10	12.5
Constellation Andromeda	Ares Inferno	10	12.5
Hull D	Arrastra	25	31
M2	Arrastra	55	67
325A	Avenger Titan Renegade	5	7
Nomad	Avenger Warlock	5	7
Cutlass Black	Buccaneer	10	12.5
Mole	C2	85	102
Redeemer	C2	75	90
Valkyrie	C2	25	31
300i	C8R Pisces Rescue	5	7
600i Explorer	Carrack	125	150
M2	Carrack	80	96
Constellation Aquila	Caterpillar	15	19
Eclipse	Caterpillar	30	36.5
Mole	Caterpillar	15	19
Cutlass Black	Centurion	10	12.5
Constellation Andromeda	Corsair	10	12.5
Mole	Crucible	35	42.5
Starfarer Gemini	Crucible	10	12.5
Prospector	Cutlass Blue	20	25
STV	Cutlass Red	95	115
Dragonfly Black	Cutter	5	7
Mustang Beta	Cutter	5	7
STV	Cutter	5	7
Roc DS	Cyclone AA	5	7
325a	Cyclone MT	5	7
125a	Cyclone RC	5	7
125a	Cyclone RN	5	7
125a	Cyclone TR	5	7
Constellation Taurus	Banu Defender	20	25
Blade	Eclipse	25	30
Constellation Andromeda	Eclipse	60	73
Prospector	F7C Hornet Wildfire	20	25
Prospector	F7C-M Super Hornet	30	36.5
Vulture	F7C-M Super Hornet Heartseeker	25	30
Prospector	Freelancer MIS	20	25
125A	G12A	5	7
Prospector	Gladiator	10	12.5
Nomad	Gladius	10	12.5
Carrack	Hammerhead	125	150
Odyssey	Hammerhead	25	31
Nomad	Herald	5	7
Herald	Hull A	5	7
Nomad	Hull A	10	12.5
Prospector	Khartu-Al	15	19
Centurion	Legionnaire	10	12.5
Freelancer	Legionnaire	10	12.5
M2	Liberator	55	66.5
600i	M2	45	54
Prowler	M2	80	96
Gladius	M50	10	12.5
Constellation Andromeda	Mercury	20	25
400i	Mercury	10	12.5
Carrack	Nautilus	125	150
Freelancer	Nova	10	12.5
MPUV-C	Nox	10	12.5
STV	Nox	5	7
C2	Prowler	40	48
Valkyrie	Prowler	65	78
Constellation Taurus	Railen	25	31
Terrapin	Railen	5	7
Defender	Railen	5	7
Cutlass Black	Raft	15	19
Ballista	Razor	5	7
Freelancer Max	Razor EX	5	7
Mantis	Razor EX	5	7
Ballista	Razor LX	10	12.5
Mole	Reclaimer	85	102
Valkyrie	Reclaimer	25	31
Constellation Aquila	Redeemer	15	19
Mole	Redeemer	15	19
325a	Reliant Tana	5	7
Ballista	Retaliator	15	19
Vanguard Warden	Retaliator Bomber	15	19
Prospector	Sabre	15	19
Prospector	Sabre Comet	30	36.5
Constellation Taurus	San'tok.yāi	40	49
Terrapin	Scorpius	20	25
Constellation Taurus	Scorpius Antares	30	36.5
Prospector	SRV	10	12.5
Mole	Starfarer Gemini	25	31
Centurion	Talon	5	7
Freelancer	Talon	5	7
Centurion	Talon Shrike	5	7
Freelancer	Talon Shrike	5	7
Constellation Taurus	Terrapin	20	25
Caterpillar	Valkyrie	45	54
Mole	Valkyrie	60	72
Redeemer	Valkyrie	50	60
Blade	Vanguard Harbinger	15	19
Vanguard Sentinel	Vanguard Harbinger	15	19
Terrapin	Vanguard Hoplite	15	19
Constellation Andromeda	Vanguard Sentinel	35	42.5
Vanguard Warden	Vanguard Sentinel	15	19
Mercury	Vanguard Sentinel	15	19
Ares Ion	Vanguard Warden	10	12.5
Corsair	Vanguard Warden	10	12.5
Ballista	Zeus Mk II CL	10	12.5
Ballista	Zeus Mk II ES	10	12.5
Vulture	Zeus Mk II MR	15	19​

   

Paints 💥

Time limited paints
Paint	Price
7 Pack Ghoulish Green (Mule, Herald, Vulture, Caterpillar, Buccaneer, Dragonfly, Cutlass)	59
2951 Auspicious Red pack (Nomad & Freelancer)	20
2952 Auspicious Red pack (Sabre and Constellation)	20.5
2952 Fortuna pack (400i & 600i)	28
2953 Auspicious Red pack (Carrack and C8 Pisces)	28
2953 Fortuna pack (Hammerhead, Redeemer, Vanguard)	52
100i - Auspicious Red Dog	7
100i - Auspicious Red Dragon	7
400i - Auspicious Red Dog	14
400i - Auspicious Red Dragon	14
400i - Fortuna	14
600i - Auspicious Red Dog	17
600i - Fortuna	20
Ares - Lovestruck	14
Ares - Meridian	14
Arrow - Lovestruck	7
Avenger - Invictus Blue and Gold	7
Avenger - Solar Winds	7
Buccaneer - Ghoulish Green	9
C8 Pisces - 2953 Auspicious Red	7
Carrack - 2953 Auspicious Red	23.5
Caterpillar - Ghoulish Green	14
Constellation - 2952 Auspicious Red	14
Corsair - Ghoulish Green	13
Cutlass Black - Skull and Crossbones	13
Cutter - Ghoulish Green	7
Cyclone - Lovestruck	7
Defender - Harmony	14
Defender - Ocellus	14
Defender - Wanderer	14
Dragonfly - Ghoulish Green	6.5
Drake Cutlass - Ghoulish Green	6.5
Drake Ultimate Ghoulunatics	78.5
Eclipse Meridian	14
F7 Hornet Mk II - Ironscale Paint	11.5
F7 Hornet Mk II - Paint Pack (Ironscale & Icebound)	16
Freelancer - 2951 Auspicious Red	11.5
Fury - Fortuna	6.5
Gladius - Invictus Blue and Gold	9
Gladius - Solar Winds	9
Hammerhead - Fortuna	23.5
Herald - Ghoulish Green	9
Hercules - Fortuna	16
Hercules - Invictus Blue and Gold	20
Hercules - Meridian	16.5
Hoverquad - Lovestruck	7
Khartu-Al - Harmony	11.5
Khartu-Al - Ocellus	11.5
Lovestruck paint 6 pack (Arrow, Scorpius, Cyclone, Hoverquad, Nomad, Ares)	53.5
Mercury Star Runner - Fortuna	14
Mercury Star Runner - Meridian	14
Meridian 4 Pack - Ares, Eclipse, Hercules, Mercury	56
Mule - Ghoulish Green	6.5
Nomad - 2951 Auspicious Red	9
Nomad - Lovestruck	9
Nox - Harmony	5.5
Nox - Ocellus	5.5
Nox - Wanderer	5.5
Prowler - Harmony	20
Redeemer - Fortuna	16.5
Razor - Fortuna	11.5
Reliant - Invictus Blue and Gold	7
Retaliator - Invictus Blue and Gold	14
Sabre - 2952 Auspicious Red	11.5
Scorpius - Lovestruck	14
Solar Winds 3 Pack - Avenger, Gladius, Vanguard	28
Talon - Harmony	9
Talon - Ocellus	9
Talon - Wanderer	9
Vanguard - Invictus Blue and Gold	14
Vanguard - Fortuna	14
Vanguard - Solar Winds	14
Vulture - Ghoulish Green	11.5
X1- Auspicious Red Dog Paint	7
X1- Auspicious Red Dragon Paint	7​

 

Concierge Paint
Paint	Price
Arrastra - Nocturne Paint	17.5
C8 Pisces Code Blue	7
C8 Pisces 5 Pack	20
Centurion - Beachhead	10
Centurion - 3 paint pack	24
Cutter - Cliffhanger	4
Cutter - Groundswell	7
Cutter - Nightfall	4
Fury - Black Star	7
Fury - Leatherback	7
Galaxy - Protector	19.5
Lynx - Moonrise	7
Mule - 3 paint pack	10.5
Mule - Smokestack	5
Pulse - 5 paint pack
Pulse - Dominion	7
San'Tok.Yai - Tuiping	9
Scorpius - Tiburon	14
Spirit - 3 paint pack 2952	33
Spirit - Crimson	12
Spirit - Intrepid	12
Storm - Summit	9
STV - Blue Steel	4
Zeus - Solstice	11.5​

 

Gear
Name	Melt	Price
Invictus 2953 Navy Blue gear pack	3.5	5
Invictus 2953 Military Grey gear pack	3.5	5​

Devouring Cancer

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
Meat. /mi:t/
Me it. /mi/ /:t/
It me. /:t/ /mi/
It’s me…
We are eating ones of ourselves…
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
/Connected
/Mellator Matrix Mind: Inner Core.
/Unit: great [AVALON] the first
/G.R. Era.
/Memory File transmission: Generalized perspective
/Gender: N/A[Neutral]
/Age: {Human equivalent: 2001 years}
/Race: Grrrr’atrrr
/Species: N/A[Hive Mind]
/ Additional verification: Class>>> [Cancer Cells]
/Cradle planet: Ci-3301
/Home planet origin: Mupan
/First person POV not applicable. Generalized Spectator mode.
/Sequence Code: 5-18-5-8 19-1-23 20-8-7-9-14-11-5-12-2-13-21-8
/Memory transmission in 3…2…1…
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

Hunger…
It’s all that drives us. It’s all that unites, connects us… All that pulls us, all that defines and binds us…
Our story began long ago. It all started with a single parasite cell. Not the greatest primordial ancestor indeed, but every Apex Predator started somewhere. But back to our history… That very first cell was our first grandmother, as well as the beginning of our entire civilization. Hard to tell what was the trigger for it’s evolutionary change, as time wipes all. Perhaps it was desire to become something better? Awakening? Or maybe just spontaneous mutation in one of the genome chains, occurring by changes in environment? It really doesn’t matter. All what matters is that that cell evolved…
It didn’t happened quickly of course. Our first grandmother was no different than an average cancer cell that is present in nearly every life form, even us. It just growed into one small neoplasm, or simply, a cancer tumor. But that tumor slowly made it’s way to the brain. We know that because that’s how we, as well as our ancestors, assimilated everything for millennia…
It is impossible to determine which one of the prey species was honored to become the meal of our first ancestor, but it was clear that that feast was something that never happened before. That tumor did not just sucked the nutrients dry till the brain dies from the protein starvation, taking the tumor with it, no, that tumor assimilated it. And that tumor learned. Learned from it. And it saw the world for the first time.
Assimilation is not as easy as other inferior beings think. First, your cell needs to find the prey cell. Then it needs to envelop the cytoplasm of that cell to properly assimilate it. However, after assimilating the “Host”, your cells need to take properties of assimilated cells and even function for the prey organism for the time being so it won’t suspect anything. It is a long, tedious and fatiguing process. That’s why we just ambush other prey organisms and devour them for protein supplies, to avoid all that bustling.
And say what, the prey doesn’t make it easier for us either. As our first ancestors quickly learned, prey can be sentient too. It is inferior, weak, pathetic… And yet it creates great weapons to stop us, For [decades] these beings create astonishing amount of these pesky, venomous and disgusting antibiotics and chemicals to kill our minds. For thousands of [years] they set our flesh on fire, making us scream as we die in agony cell by cell.
And yet we prevail. When they make those chemistry compounds they call “Cure”, we gain immunity to it. When they set our bodies ablaze, we spray them with our blood and teeth, making their bodies to slowly blister as we eat them inside out. When they close their doors on us, we use ventilations, slithering right above their heads or below their {feet}. When they use special protection suits, we just tear them apart. And when they completely quarantine themselves, thinking that they are safe, we pretend to be one of them, striking from behind…
What is the most amazing thing about this prey? Well, aside that their flesh is delicious… They are clever. And they know how to build stuff. Weapons, tools, technology… Everything to increase the odds of survivability and comfort of their pathetic kind. And by devouring their minds, we gain all this knowledge as well! We learned how to grow cattle to saturate our hunger, we learned how to create faster means of transportation that even the fastest members of our swarm can’t out-crawl with their appendages. And most importantly; we learned how to reach the skies…
Among our prey species, there was a special class, or caste, of highly educated specimens, who called themselves “scientists”. These specimens learned how to use metal, fuel, radiation, and other inedible and in some cases straight up harmful components of nature, and turned them into what they called “Spacecraft”. A special vehicle, capable of leaving the atmosphere of our planet. Something that sounded like fantasy, even for the boldest ones of us, who sometimes managed to grow wings and flew high in the sky, until we consumed their heads and the knowledge they possessed along the way. From them we gained knowledge of the schematics of these space vessels, and most importantly; the schematics of FTL drives. Devices capable of traveling among the stars with “superluminal” speed. And so, after conquering and discovering each and every corner of our planet, we soared to the great unknown, right into the void…

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
/Transmission mode: Spectator. Centralized perspective.
/Subject: Verrruur. Grrrr’atrrr. Lead hive mind of the Hunter Fleets.
/Transmission in 3…2…1…
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We flew among the stars in our glorious ships made out of strongest titanium fusions and covered in our eternal flesh. Yes, what wasn’t made out of the metal hulls of our ships, was made out of sheer muscles and flesh tissue. So many cells… So much nutrition… We could withstand decades without the food and still hunt like our greatest hunters back on Mupan(Apparently, that’s how prior sentient prey species happened to call our planet, and we didn’t really bother to rename it, as for us it was widely known as just “Ground, floor, or land”). Our strongest weapons, combined with our most dissolving acid spitters, made us the strongest and most feared hunters, “cementing” our history as the strongest Apex Predators in the galaxy! We defeated, devoured, and assimilated everything… It did not matter if our enemy was a leviathan, an enemy prey fleet, or even an entire planet. If it could be eaten, it was eaten…
Until it wasn’t…
On yet another great crusade in search of delicacy for our insatiable fleets, our sensors captured a strange, but nonetheless familiar signal. The impulse of FTL drive. After our intels captured the signal, our intercoms just exploded with thousands of jaws:
“Food?”
“Food…”
“ Food! FOOD!!! Food! Food! Delicious prey! Food! We shall… FEAST! Food! Yes!!! Food! FOOD!!! We haven’t ate for [Month]! At last… Some good food… Food! Juicy food… Flesh of prey…
Food! The succulent meat…”
Yes, we felt joy. And anticipation of hunting down these unknown but likely very delicious organisms. It was like opening the present. You don’t know what was inside these flying metal cans, but you sure know that it is likely to something edible.
Oh, we never were so wrong in our glorious history.
We did not saw them at first, that’s how black and cloaked they were. When we finally identified our “prey” we saw it was a small cluster of black ellipsoids, just hovering there.
“We will smash you like the eggs you are!” we thought.
When we fired our acid sacks and laser guns however, they were still there, not moving an [inch]. Then we opened all the airlocks(if we weren’t already outside) and enveloped their ships in our mighty grip, not stopping to pour their shields with our acids and plasma. Usually, after a few unpleasant zaps of enemy shields, the shields just popped and the ships just were crack open like the [nuts].
But not these…
They did not crumble and exposed their hulls with screaming prey just getting sucked out in the vacuum, no, instead they started to grow bright red. Redder than our flesh and blood…
And burned. Burned stronger and more painful than any flame. Our drones roared in pain but we couldn’t hear them in this silent space. Hundreds of megatons of our flesh clusters was just turned in ashes or tore off and were drifting and dead lumps of burnt meat. Our intercoms filled with screams of fear and agony, our minds losing their mass and density, turning into undeveloped children.
Father? It hurts…” could be heard in countless drones. And any that tried to escape, were sniped with red beams of such accuracy, that our best spitters could only dream of. It didn’t last long when we were the only operating guide ship of entire Armada that was so ingloriously butchered. And then we felt the warmth…
No… NO!
All weapons of this black eggs were pointed at us, our last mind. The last memories flashed as we slowly were burned to death. The last though of our last tumor was the realization that there was someone stronger than us. Someone who cannot be eaten. The Bigger Predator…
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
/Memory transmission File disconnected.
/Reason: Biological death of the Subject.
/Cause of death: Sterilization
/Disconnected
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