Super cute things to tell your girlfriend

I will apologise in advance for the long post.
I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. I am his first girlfriend, this is my 2nd serious relationship. We moved in with each other at around 9 months and things have changed between us significantly.
We have both never lived with a partner before. Initially my partner was incredibly attentive, was always wiling to listen to my good and bad days, thoughtful, considerate, romantic, understanding etc. Things were pretty good with us! I was shocked because I hadn't really experienced this type of relationship before. We had small tiffs but we were always able to talk about things and sort it out. Our sex life was pretty good! We both liked pleasing each other.
It was almost a immediate change since we moved in. My boyfriend became pretty distant, to me it seemed like he didn't really like having me around. I tried giving him space and you know let him figure out his routine. His work was pretty busy, as was mine.
I was working overtime for about 5 months prior to us moving in together, and found myself burnt out maybe a month into us living with each other. My sex drive reduced, which was frustrating for me because I love sex with my boyfriend. We still had sex maybe once a week, and occasionally twice a week. But admittedly I did start getting frustrated because my partner initiated sex every day, even though I had mentioned to him that my sex drive has reduced and I'm not overly keen on sex right now. A lot of the time I felt obliged and wasn't really into it. He also had changed a fair, and the only effort he really put in, was to hace sex (and even so it was much effort and I didn't orgasm 80% of the time)
I noticed he stopped really taking interest in my life, stopped putting effort in with my family, he would often be on his phone when I was telling him things, we stopped going on dates. He knows I appreciate having a meal together, so I try to plan my dinner with his but often he would eat without me. We didn't do anything for our one year anniversary, I did plan a dinner but I ended up cancelling it because my partner was disinterest and indifferent to it. He seems to only compliment me physically (either my tits or ass) and rarely anything outside of that. It almost felt like he started to resent me and I wasn't really sure why. A few days ago I had a pretty scary road rage incident where someone ran me off the road and threatened me with a knife. My boyfriend said he would help me with the police report because I was really distraught. He never ended up helping me, he also didn't really seem to care that this happened. It was a bit shit, I thought he would have some sort of concern in regard to it but there wasn't. I got mad and vented my frustrations about his huge behaviour change since we've been living together.
He told me he kind of checked out emotionally when I wasn't really keen on sex. (I'd like to add that my sex drive improved since I started working normal hours again, which was about 2 months ago, so we have sex about 3 times a week) Hes told me that he doesn't feel these things intrinsically naturally ( like caring when bad things happen to your partner). But I feel like a lot of those things come pretty naturally if you love someone
My gut feeling is that, he doesn't actually love me, and wants someone to have sex with regularly. I've been trying to ignore the fact that his prime interest with me is only sex but it's starting to feel that way. He does take steriods as well btw. If I don't keep up with him sexually he just disconnects, I don't want to feel like I have to have sex to have a present partner that cares for me. I used to feel cared and loved by him but now its like he's someone else.
What does this mean ?

So this might be super embarrassing, but in the past couple of months, I think I developed a crush on a vtuber. I think when she debuted I thought she was cute, but that was it. Over time though, she started showing off her interests, struggles and flaws and it was all the same things as me. Now I can't help but think about her every day and I get depressed because there's like a 99% chance I'll never meet her. So I just stopped watching her and vtubers for a while, never donated money either. I tend to still think about her though. I just felt like sharing all this, I've never dealt with a parasocial relationship before in my life.

So being a Gemini with an air dominant birth chart I can safely say that my least favorite zodiac of all time would be Taurus mostly due to the fact that they tend to spend too much time sitting at home in their comfort zone doing the same thing all while being surrounded by their precious worldly possessions. I on the other hand need freedom, adventure and variety. Yes there are moments when I do enjoy sitting down and relaxing but for the most part I need to be constantly out and about socializing, seeking new experiences and trying new things. There's also the fact that being a natural born intellectual I seek to obtain greater knowledge in a wide variety of subjects (even though most of my interests lie within history, astrology and crime thrillers) while Taurean's only stick to topics that fall under their field of interest and since they aren't the most curious and adaptable type of individuals they could care less about trying new things or learning topics that fall short of their field of interests which will only frustrate my needs even further. Of course it also depends on what their given moon sign is too. For example a Taurus with an air or fire moon is going to be more curious and open minded than a Taurus with an earth or water moon. Aside from the fact that I will end up sharing a few good laughs with the Bull from the beginning there isn't that much I like about this fixed earth sign at all which is why it is my pick as my least favorite zodiac of all time.
As a bonus my least favorite zodiac of all time was initially either Capricorn, Scorpio or Cancer. Mostly because Capricorns are huge workaholics who I thought we're picky and had the need to always be right but then I came to realize that those traits are more associated with Virgo which is why I have them as my second least favorite zodiac for obvious reasons. Plus I've had a few Capricorns as friends in school and we've actually shared a few good laughs together which is why i've moved them in my number 8 spot. Scorpios are known to be complex and enigmatic individuals who are secretive and hard to read and being a Gemini I love to talk and tell stories so I already have a problem here. Not to mention when a Scorpio is angry they get very aggressive and if you especially do something that really hurts them they'll hold you accountable for it until you address it through action. However since I am drawn to complexity and mystery they get a definite pass for being my least favorite zodiac due to the fact that I love deep, complex personalities but they are still far from my most favorite zodiac as they are in the 10th spot aka third to last place in my list of most to least favorite zodiacs. Last but not least Cancer. Cancers are known to possessive, moody and reactionary individuals who need emotional support and being more of a thinker than feeler I'm not the type to go deep and talk about emotions. Don't get me wrong I can be a very compassionate and supportive person for sure but the thing is you have to have a logical explanation for why you're playing the victim card in order for me to care because if you're just coming to me about your problems for attention I'm not having any of it. The good news is that since Cancers are so loyal and willing to listen to every word you say to them during a conversation coupled with the fact they are also very compassionate and supportive when you're in need of someone to vent out your frustrations to they also get a definite pass for me and are placed in my 9th spot.
So what is your least favorite zodiac of all time?

Calling all SuperCoaches and Fantasy fanatics! [SC] [NF] The team lists are in, and it's time to dissect the good, the bad, and the "why'd they bench your best player again!"
Whether you're celebrating monster scores, drowning your sorrows, stuck in analysis paralysis, or just here to chat trades and tactics, this is your zone. Let's dive deep into the round ahead - open up your app, crack a can beverage of your choice, and get ready to dominate!
Remember to tag your posts with [SC] for SuperCoach or [NF] for NRL Fantasy to keep things organized

So I come from the typical pretty strict Asian household in which my parents are overprotective and overbearing. From the very beginning, my parents disliked my boyfriend which has now shifted to literal hatred towards him. They have a bunch of reasons as to why but here are a few:

• They do not like his personality. My boyfriend is a quiet and reserved type of guy which is actually what I love about him and he is super logical, level-headed, and grounds me when I need it. Since my parents are super traditional, they hate this because they want your standard "charismatic alpha provider man" what will take charge for me. They view him as a meek man with no backbone that will never be able to provide for me (which is untrue as he is currently is working at a well respected full time job). One thing to note is that there is also a language barrier so paired with the fact that he doesn't talk much to people he doesn't know as well, this is how he comes off to my parents. However, he constantly shows his respect and affection through his actions in which my parents will always reject.
• They do not like his family background (they are middle class, while we are upper middle class). My parents constantly talk about how our family will be the only ones that will be able to help us financially and his family "adds no social or financial value to my future" in their words.
• They do not like his parents. This is the only concern of theirs that is valid because although his parents treat me with respect and like me as a person, I also do not agree with how they treat their children. His parents are also pretty controlling and gaslight their children a lot. Sometimes I worry that overtime, they will start treating me like this as well, but as of now it doesn't affect how I feel about our relationship. However, I can see why my parents would be concerned about this.
• Although they do not want to admit it, I think a part of the reason why is that my boyfriend is southeast asian, as opposed to east asian so there is a racism component to this.

There are more reasons as to why they do not like him but those are the main ones. Although my boyfriend is shy and takes a while to crack his shell, I truly believe that he is a great guy. All my friends love him and my silbing loves him as well. I am a pretty headstrong person but my parents constantly talking about how much they hate him has taken a huge hit to my mental health and is making my confidence in our relationship waver. Hearing them say "I can do better" and "If you guys get married I won't come to your wedding" type shit every day is going to drive me insane. They are currently paying for my grad school tuition so cutting them out of my life is not an option. I know my parents and they are incredibly stubborn and will not change their minds about my boyfriend so what should I do? I do love my parents so their rejection hurts but I also do love my partner a lot as well and I cannot see myself breaking up with him. Although I know not much can be done, any advice, words of encouragement, or reassurance is much appreciated.

I'm a 38 y/o female.
I was diagnosed with asthma as a kid.
Current meds Soprobec 200 two puffs AM, two puffs PM, ventolin as needed.
I moved into this flat in 2022, was fine before I moved and to begin with, then I developed worsening asthma symptoms as the months went on. I spent ages trying to fathom out the possible cause. I found no sign of mold or anything like that. then found out tobacco smoke from the man downstairs was coming into mine, it's been so bad on a couple of occasions my bathroom has 'fogged up' with smoke. I have tried everything, including having the council works department out to see if we could seal up any gaps etc, nope, no way of stopping it. He seems to vanish for long periods of time, leaving his flat empty. During these periods, my asthma symptoms vanish completely.
In response to my worsening asthma symptoms, in Jan 2024 the asthma nurses at my surgery decided to increase my ICS dose of Beclomethasone from 400mg a day to 800mg a day. Now I have high functioning Autism on top of all this, I am far from dumb or stupid, but anything to do with numbers seems to go over my head a lot of the time, even though I am better at maths now, amounts of things can still flummox me.
NOBODY told me this was considered a moderate to high dose and I should be carrying a steroid warning card, nobody, not once. I wrongly guessed it was only a few mg more than the soprobec 100 I was on. The Soprobec 100 was two puffs am, two puffs pm.
Now, since I have been on the Soprobec 200 at 800mg a day, I have developed some extreme and very disruptive possible side effects.
All possible other causes of these symptoms just got ruled out in a complete bloodwork which included diabetes, hypercalcemia, thyroid and iron deficiency, which are all possible causes of the things I have listed below, all tests have come back requiring no further action.
These are:
EXTREME, unquenchable thirst. I am drinking easily over four liters of water per day. I am also waking up several times a night for a drink, and if I go out I must carry water with me otherwise the thirst is VERY distressing. I feel dehydrated on a 'cellular level', like it doesn't matter how much I drink, I feel thirsty WHILE drinking water!.
Fatigue so bad I can hardly get up out of my chair most days and I am asleep by 9pm, where before I would like to chill with my dog watching a film or something till about 12pm. I have gone from waking literal miles through local fields and woodland with my dog, to barely being able to take her on the local park which is only across the road. I hardly ever go out, and if I do, I suffer immensely as my muscles start aching. I live upstairs and I am struggling getting up the stairs.
It feels as if I have lost all muscle tone all over my body. I no longer feel safe walking my dog as she is med size mastiff cross who is quite strong, she has almost pulled me over at times and I cannot even lift my kitchen bin bag or the laundry basket, I have NEVER had this problem before.
I have lost my appetite and have to force myself to eat every meal, often taking hours rather than minutes.
Episodes of vaginal thrush, something I have NOT had for YEARS, started when I went on this high dose of ICS.
My once 'perfect' periods are now very heavy and irregular.
I feel more angry than before. I had to seriously check my anger levels in my adult years, and developed a much more patient and stoical outlook to life, which brought my stress levels down massively. Since I went on this inhaler I have been snapping at people again, including my own family :(
Tingling hands. This can come on anytime, never had it before the inhaler.
A terrible hoarse voice and it feels like my voice is getting deeper and I am starting to sound 'male' other people have noticed this too.
Profuse sweating on my hands and feet. My hands DRIP with sweat, to the point I hide them from people. Never happened before this inhaler.
Salt and red meat cravings. I am not a big fan of either, and due to heart problems in the family I keep my salt intake low. Other day I just felt compelled to walk into the local coop and buy pork loins and a pack of beef biltong, things I haven't eaten in many moons. I recall saying to myself 'this is SO out of character for you'.
Episodes of nausea, two episodes of vomiting in the morning over two months (not preggers before anyone asks lol) which were not related to anything I had eaten.
Dizzy spells and almost fainting, usually happens if I push myself to do even basic stuff like household chores, which I usually enjoy doing.
I know these are listed as 'rare' side effects, but unusual thirst, tiredness and weakness is mentioned both in the patient info leaflet with the inhaler, and in various other information regarding side effects, such as this article: https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/corticosteroid-inhalation-route/side-effects/drg-20070533?p=1
I take the inhaler via a spacer, my technique is good, I've been doing this whole asthma game all my life, so I am pretty ofay with it all now lol.
I have had a battle over this inhaler with my GP and other asthma services as well. They just do NOT believe ICS can have systemic side effects, in contradiction to what the drug manufacturers say on the leaflet. I think I am going to have to go back to the GP and stand up for myself, which is not something I am good at at all, and present them with this information leaflet, which actually tells you to consult your doctor if you develop any of them!.
Would it be worth asking to try the same dose, as I do not want to risk withdrawal, I have experienced this before from ICS, but on a different steroid with a different inhaler?.
Is there any more bloodwork I could ask for, perhaps adrenal function or cortisol levels?.
I am at a loss, I need to control my asthma, but I also need to be able to live!.
Thank you for taking time to read this, I hope everyone is well and your asthma leaves you alone to enjoy the summer!. :)

So this might be super embarrassing, but in the past couple of months, I think I developed a limerence on a vtuber. I think when she debuted I thought she was cute, but that was it. Over time though, she started showing off her interests, struggles and flaws and it was all the same things as me. Now I can't help but think about her every day and I get depressed because there's like a 99% chance I'll never meet her. So I just stopped watching her and vtubers for a while, never donated money either. I tend to still think about her though. I just felt like sharing all this, I've never dealt with a parasocial relationship before in my life.

So basically,
I had a 90-day delinquency for my car loan that I paid off last month and last week I also paid for the regular scheduled payments for my car. When I spoke to an advisor about my appeal, she stated that I was denied because my credit was showing that I was still 90 days delinquent even though I sent in proof that I was current. The car loan company wouldn't send me a letter saying I was current but instead they sent me pay statements to show proof that I made the payment. So, for my documentation, I sent in a letter from myself explaining the situation, a receipt of the payment that shows the company letter head, as well as pay statements from the company. The only other thing on my credit would be two accounts in collections from two years ago that are way below the $2085 limit. However, when I spoke to her on the phone, she was essentially telling me that I needed to pay off the collections as well as my car loan in FULL (which I still have about $9,000 left on it). I tried to explain to her that this was a car loan payment that I make monthly and that I am now up to date, and she explained that they just simply look at what the credit report says and since it stated I was still 90 days then it didn't matter what documentation I sent in.
In my head I thought that this didn't really make much sense because from what I've read from other posts on this sub, other people simply sent in bank statements or letters from companies showing proof that their collection was paid and they were approved? Also, in the email I received, it stated that I could show proof that I am current on an account that is 90 days delinquent.
So, the lady on the phone essentially cancelled my application, and told me to reapply once my credit updates. Here's another issue... my car loan company has not updated the delinquency on my credit since. It is still showing 90 days past due, and I have no idea when it's going to be update. So, should I reapply again? Wait until my credit updates? Is it true that my documentation essentially doesn't matter since it's not reflected in my credit just yet?
Thanks for your help.

I have already posted on here somewhere about how I and my current bf are looking to hopefully get married sometime in the not too distant future. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I could not be happier.
This is about my first boyfriend, let's call him Dick.
I was 24 and he was 19. We met while I was working on a college campus at a Burrito Bowl. Well, actually, that's not strictly true. Although I did not attend that particular college, I was often involved in a religious organization that met on that college campus-in addition to working there. We met when I joined the Discord server for that religious organization, and offered to bring dinner to meet new people. He was the only person to take me up on my offer, and so on a storming night in the middle of a week in October, I rolled up to the campus meeting center with a wagon full of:
-a pot of soup
-tortilla chips
-seasoned bread
-butter
-shredded cheese
-sour cream
-fork, knives, spoons, glasses, and folded cloth napkins
Yes, I basically brought an absolute stranger a full meal. For free. On a college campus. In a wagon.
We hit it off and became really fast friends. Really fast friends. Fast forward to end of April the following year. He and I were hanging out together because he wasn't going to be coming back to that college the following semester. He had lost his scholarship because of bad grades. The night before he was supposed to leave, I took him to one of my favorite restaurants as a farewell treat. It was going to be two years before I could see him again. After I dropped him back off at his dorm, I went to run a few errands of my own. Meanwhile, he is texting me that he hasn't packed anything and he doesn't know where to start. I offered to come help, and he said please.
I was at the store while he was texting me, so I bought for myself a 1.25L bottle of coke, and some chocolate. I got THE text as soon as I had finished checking out: "Hey when you get here, I'd like to talk to you about something that's been on my mind."
I pull up to the dorm and go up to his room, plop myself onto the couch. He left to go get something out of his car that he had forgotten. When he came back, he nervously sat down on the arm of another chair in the room, and proceeded to drink MY coke and chowed down on MY chocolate, while rambling on about how he thought I was super sweet and that he really like me and that he hadn't intended to come back, but now, it was his entire goal to come back one day for me. He didn't ask me right then to be his gf, but said he wanted time to think about it, but would I also think about what my answer would be?
I said I would, and proceeded to get his entire dorm room cleaned and packed by 9 am the next morning. A week later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and we were incredibly happy--for three weeks.
At the end of three weeks, we were talking while he was traveling to and from work, but there just wasn't anything there anymore. He started ("inadvertently") giving me lists of people, animals I would have to please and things I would have to do in order to be his gf. He didn't want to talk to me anymore, I never knew if he would call me or not, or if he would just randomly hang up on me in the middle of a call. He would constantly rather play video games or listen to music than talk to me. I was becoming more and more discouraged and feeling very boxed in. Also, I never received any gifts, flowers or presents from him our entire relationship. I know it is kind of hard to do long distance, but I managed to send TWO packages to him containing meaningful gifts. Side note for those interested: my current bf either sends me flowers/gifts via DoorDash, Instacart, etc., or has me go out and buy what I like and then refunds me the money. I love this so much.
I went away to go volunteer at another religious organization. Right before I left, I bought a plane ticket to go visit him for my birthday week. Everything was arranged. During the camp, we broke up. Here's how.
He knew that he was my first ever for everything. First bf, first serious relationship, first KISS. He played that, and played it hard. He knew that I had boundaries and that I would stick to them, even if I was embarrassed or thought it would hurt him. I was not going to budge on what I thought was right. He told me that his plan was basically to kiss me the minute I stepped off the plane to see if there was any "spark" there. Idk what would have happened if he didn't find the "spark". When I hinted that I might not be comfortable with that, he asked me why, and I said it was the way I was raised. He got upset, told me that he was starting to hate my parents and said that this was the way things were going to go. I hung up with him, called my mom and told her everything. I got her to begrudgingly allow me that if Dick wanted to kiss, I could. That is all I wanted, sex wasn't even on the menu.
At this point, I am mad at Dick. So I called him back and ranted off on him about how I felt about the entire thing, but mentioned that I had "permission" from my mother to kiss him IF I chose. He didn't let it go, but got his mother involved. We argued back and forth for two days. Finally, two days before camp ended, he texted me, asking if we could have an honest conversation. The basics of what he said, over TEXT:
"I love you, and when I say it I do mean it, but I mean it more in the way that you would tell your sister."
I was so distraught and stressed out that I couldn't think of anything else to do other than pray. Over the period of an hour, I literally typed out my heart and feelings to the God I thought I believed in, to Dick. At the end of it, Dick's entire response? "Don't you know that would've been better said to the Big Man Upstairs?"
I ended things immediately.
We tried to remain friends (at first this was mutual agreement, and then entirely his idea) but it didn't work out well at all. All I can say is that Karma is an absolute bitch, and in this matter I am 100% on her side. Hell, I would've even given her the weaponry needed to screw Dick over, even without her asking.
A few months go by and he ends up getting into another relationship. The gf doesn't know me, but tells him that he needs to block me or else. So he does, I end up having to leave the Discord server for the religious group, and I lost contact with most of my support group because of this. I should mention here that these were MY friends, not his. He wasn't even from the same state as I was. I found out from my best friend that just a few short weeks later, Dick went into the server and posted a prayer request about how his gf was missing. Later, he posted another, and even later posted a third. My best friend rang my phone off the hook that night trying to get in touch with me.
Apparently, Dick's gf was incredibly mentally unstable. She had threatened to go end her life, and disappeared. Nobody knew where she was. Dick eventually called the cops, and when they found her, she GASLIT him saying that he was so untrusting, was just the worst, he made her feel that way, all the jazz. They broke it off and I believe she may have been institutionalized for a little bit.
So yeah. I think I'm way happier now, just sayin. :)

Just warning y'all, this is gonna be really long... I'm trying to give as much context as I can for better understanding. And another warning, I mention some things about weight and feeling insecure about it. Not anything too bad, but just so you know. Anyways. I'm AFAB, and I've used the label genderfluid since 2019, but now as I'm getting older and allowing myself to explore my gender identity without feeling ashamed, I don't know if I'm really genderfluid, or transgender, or what. I just would like to know what label this sounds like to y'all? And I KNOW I don't Have to use a label, I just want to know or get some other peoples thoughts on it, because I'm really confused and don't know what is really going on with me. So basically, I've been identifying as a woman for a long time, since it's my assigned gender at birth. But in 2019, I really just learned about LGBTQ and all of the labels and meanings, and I found that Genderfluid fit me best. That some days I felt like a boy, some days I felt like a girl, some days I felt like neither, or both, whatever. But I think I kinda forgot about it, and I just identified as a woman again. And then in 2020, I thought I might be trans, as I wanted to be everything male. I wanted to dress that way, look that way, have a different name and haircut and pronouns and all of that. And I was ALOT happier that way, and I felt more comfortable, but also not at the same time because of my chest. I've wanted a binder for a VERY long time, and I didn't have one till just THIS year, and so whenever I dressed how I wanted to in 2020, I just looked like a guy with a big bust and it repulsed me, so I really just tried to be male online with my friends mostly? Since I didn't look like one in real life, I felt like I was embarrassing myself, y'know? :( And in 2021, I just went by agender, because I didn't feel like being anything. But also that year, I was really depressed, so I think maybe I just didn't wanna have to stress about my gender too. Anyways, in 2023 I went into a relationship with somebody, and I was identifying as a woman at that point, so I kinda subconsciously hyperfeminized myself so I could be their "perfect" girlfriend, even though they didn't want me to do that. I kinda tried way too hard that year 💀 We broke up in November that year, and after that, I've been exploring my gender again. I realized there wasn't really a need to be so feminine, and I started to like Harry Potter for the first time! My favorite character was Ron Weasley, and I started to really like his character, and the actor himself. I really admired the way he dressed when he was younger, and at that point, I decided that I should start dressing the way I REALLY want to. So I got the money for new clothes, AND A BINDER! And I finally got to dress the way I've wanted for so long, and I was so happy. It was the happiest and best I've ever felt and looked in so long. I felt just like a boy. But, I also felt dysphoric for the first time in a while, because I had my long dark brown hair still. I didn't feel like I really looked like a boy enough because of it. And I debated cutting my hair, but I thought I was just really liking that Rupert Grint guy too much, and I only was acting that way because of him. Sometimes I really like a character or celebrity and I kind of accidentally subconsciously take on some things that they do, and the way they dress. But I eventually completely stopped liking Harry Potter, and I still wanted that haircut, so I did it. And I really tried to give myself a gender neutral/androgynous haircut, so if I felt like a girl again, I wouldn't regret the haircut. I had that haircut, and I dressed the way I wanted to, and I felt incredible. It's the most confident I've ever felt in my life, but then my hair started to grow out, and I looked more girly again, and I couldn't take it. So I had another haircut, this time inspired by Chino Moreno, the lead singer of my favorite band ever, Deftones. I got hairgel, and now I go out with my spiked hair, baggy jeans with boxers showing, baggy band shirt, my sneakers, and a ton of bracelets and cuffs. This is JUST how I have ALWAYS wanted to dress. I feel like a boy, and I'm so happy. But now I'm really getting to the point now, that's all of the context I had to say first. I've recently caught myself thinking "I can't wait to get top surgery one day." Which, I am DEFINITELY doing. But then I started thinking... what's next after that? Am I just gonna be me with a flat male looking chest, or am I gonna want to go more into it? (As in taking testosterone.) because I also catch myself dreaming about the day I'm old enough to take it. But does that mean I'm trans then? Because, I do like the idea of looking like a woman... But I also don't at all at the same time. I only like the idea od looking like a girl, I guess. Like a young girl. (Because I grew up as a little young girl who wore dresses and bows and did sweet things, I just feel most comfortable being a girl that way, related to my childhood. I don't like the idea of being a girl grown up getting a job, a relationship, a LIFE, ETC.) It's really confusing. And, my mom got nervous when I brought up top surgery though (and she 100% supports me though) because she was worried I would regret it when I do feel like a woman again. And I think that even if I do feel like a woman again one day, I can just be a woman with a flat chest ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. But also, for the first time maybe ever in my life, I've started to get insecure over my weight. I think that when I was identifying/presenting myself as a woman, I just accepted that I was a bit big, because I was curvy and women are curvy sometimes and that was it. I've always been a little insecure over it, but I've also always been very scared to lose weight, because I'm scared that it'll go out of control and I'd get an eating disorder or something. Which is probably just a really weird thought, but I worry about alot of weird things. Anyways, I think the reason it's really bothering me now is because I want to look like a man. Not a big curvy woman with boobs and hips and love handles and a butt, I want to be a fully flat man. I'm flat in the chest at least with my binder, but I feel disgusted whenever I have to see my hips or behind though. Not necessarily because they're big, but because I'm supposed to be a man. It makes me feel so dysphoric. I just don't understand what is going on with me. Am I just a heavily confused genderfluid person? Am I really just a girl?? Am I transgender, and I only liked being a girl when I was younger, but not as an adult??? Is that even a thing????? I just need advice, or opinions, or somebody to help out and tell me what labels this could be, or what is wrong with me, or something. Please. Thanks in advance, and I'm sorry for the very very long post.
TL;DR. I don't know if I am a transgender male, or just a really confused genderfluid person.

For context, I’m a 25yo female, that comes from a mixed background (my mother 56F is a white woman from southern Europe, my father is from the Balkans and migrated to my country when he was younger). This is relevant and you will understand later.
I moved away from home as soon as I could when I was 18 after a not so good childhood, and currently live in another European country. My parents are divorced, my father is not really in the picture, I keep in touch with my mother on a daily basis and come visit her and the rest of the family once or twice a year. We never had the best relationship but since I moved out it improved a lot. I’d say we get along better when I’m far away from home.
Anyway, back to the reason of this post. I’ve been seeing this guy for more than a year, he’s great, we’re slowly getting to know each other and see where this is going. We are not in a rush but of course this is a relationship and I felt it was time to tell something more to my mother. I’ve always been quite open about my relationships and people I was dating, however since getting older I started being more private as I don’t think it would be good to mention every failed date to my mother (lol). We come from a typical small town in southern Europe, where people are bigots and close-minded. The news on the tv are constantly complaining about immigrants coming to our country and jadajadajada. The government is mostly right wing. So yeah, I didn’t really mentioned much about this guy, first of all cause I’m trying to keep it private but also because I could imagine her reaction, since she’s the standard average middle age woman that you find on Facebook without much culture. She is ignorant not as an insult but as in the real sense of the word: she ignores, she doesn’t inform herself and just believes whatever the media tells her.
Anyway, she suspected I was seeing someone for a while, I never really said much but I’ve been giving her a few hints in the past weeks and now that I came back to my hometown for a week she started being very curious. The day after I arrived we were casually talking before bed and she just kept asking “C’mon, don’t you have a pic of this guy? Show me! C’mon c’mon! I’m your mother!” so, one side of me didn’t wanna show her, the other one was excited cause at the end of the day I’m proud of my relationship and I was happy to tell her more (maybe naively hoping for a good outcome…). So without thinking much I showed her one of the best pictures of him. Literally in the millisecond while I was showing her the picture she said something like: “hope it’s not a n****” (WHATTT???).
At that point the phone was already on her face. It was done. She said it, and at the same time she saw the picture. She was speechless and I was too. I was ashamed of her. And sad.
She didn’t say anything more for the following 10 minutes, she went to her room and I went to mine. Afterwards she just asked “does he even work?!” And I told her “don’t worry about it, he’s better off than the both of us” just to make her shut up about that question that I found so disrespectful. This made me just so sad, and disappointed.
But the worst had yet to come. We didn’t speak much about it at all until today.
We were having a casual conversation during the afternoon when the relationship topic came out. In particular, we were talking about how your partner should improve your life and not making it worse, meaning he should make you happy, he should bring good positive vibes, get along etc. that’s what I was thinking and referring to. But she started being very materialistic, she asked me “so, in which way is he improving your life?!” in a very aggressive sassy tone “I don’t see anything changing“ she said. I was mentioning that he makes me happy when the conversation degenerated. All sort of things came out of it.
She started by saying:
“well, I truly hopes this will be just a friend and you will keep it like that”
She then continued with:
“please take birth control precautions before you regret it”
“don’t come to me later saying I didn’t stop you”
and the cherry on top was:
“I would have preferred if you told me you were a lesbian cause at least that is cool nowadays”.
I was speechless and I still am.
I asked her what is it that she doesn’t like and what is she basing her opinions on, since she literally knows nothing about him. She couldn’t answer. She kept repeating the same things over and over and she also said she would never want to meet him.
I have to mention that the few guys she met that I was dating were of different cultures, but she never had a problem with them, I guess because the skin color was the same… and in her mind there are probably foreigners of Class A, B, C…
I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I neither expected such a bad reaction.
All this hurts me so much.
I don’t know what to do.
In my mind it neither makes sense cause she married an immigrant but it seems like she never really came to terms with it, she never really accepted it. For instance, I know nothing about my father’s culture, I never learned the language or interesting facts about it because nobody ever thought me anything about it. I only learned about my mother’s culture, the one of the country I lived in. And I always felt out of place because this country is extremely racist. The fact that my father was not a good husband or father has nothing to do with where he comes from. If a person is an idiot, is an idiot no matter what. And I told her this when we were talking. The fact that she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that I will, just because I’m seeing someone from a different culture. I also explained to her that I am myself an immigrant, since I’m living in another country. But it doesn’t seem to click in her head. And when I told her, to her face, that she is indeed racist, she obviously denied it, because how can she be racist if she married an immigrant herself?
And of course during today’s conversation there was some victim behavior on her side, because every time I come back here it’s certain that we are gonna fight and every time it happens I say stuff like “let’s see when and if I will come back again!”. So she was bringing that up cause the other day I said “the first racist comment I hear I’m gone”. She mentioned that, saying I don’t care about her, that she has to beg for me to call her (mind you, we write good morning, good night, text here and there during the day and we talk on the phone 3/4 times a week…). She even said that “she lost me already the moment I left”. Honestly, I don’t know what else more than this she expects from me if what I do is not enough already.
So I don’t really know how to handle this. Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: my 25F mother 56F doesn’t approve of my boyfriend 28M just because of the color of his skin. Her opinion is based solely on a photo I showed her and claims she lost me.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/ThrowRa-Alergy posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 9th May 2024
Update - 10th May 2024
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AITAH for telling my bf that his daughter is not allowed in my apartment because she doesn’t stop smuggling peanuts in?
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I can’t have any contact with peanuts and I am terrified of them due to some bad experience ms ending up in the hospital. I have my shots now on me all the time. It is not exactly airborne but I could have irritation and if it for example touch something that had been in contact with peanuts i could have swollen eyes and itchy nose and throat. Ingesting is fatal.
She is 14 and has no respect what so ever for my anxiety. My bf and I moved in and she lives with us every other week. Now I told my bf that I don’t want her here because she is not respecting my boundaries. But that I understand that he doesn’t want to live with me in that case we could revert back to him being with me when he doesn’t have his daughter. He got very upset because he said that he loved me and wanted a real relationship and to live in one home.
So I told him that maybe he should be with someone who isn’t allergic then. He thinks I am being very unfair. He said well, she will probably hate the next one too and the next and the next because she wants her mom and me to be together again so it wasn’t “me specifically” that she dislikes. I said that maybe he needs to take a break from dating then until she is onboard but he said that he couldn’t be single just because his daughter wants him to. Before me he was single for 6 years and that wasn’t good enough.
Before we decided to move in together, we have done some “trial” living together and never once did his daughter do anything about the nuts. But now for 4 months she has always peanuts with her. I don’t know why she is doing this. I thought we were cool. She just smirks and says maybe if you are so allergic, maybe you’re not meant to survive(a stand up comedy bit from Louis CK)
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Comments
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ERVetSurgeon
NTA but you need to leave this relationship. She thinks it is funny and he doesn't care. The amount of disrespect for your health is amazing.
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CruelxIntention
This. He’s allowing this instead of getting to the core of it and putting the child in therapy where she clearly belongs. She’s plenty old enough to know this can kill someone and to have complete disregard over that shouldn’t be overlooked. You may love this guy but I’m betting you love breathing more.
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WonderingGemini84

"You may love this guy but I'm betting you love breathing more."

THIS!!!
You can not love someone when you're dead.
The boyfriend doesn't seem to realise how serious "the no peanuts"-thing is. This is a non-negotable. Your home should be your safe space, she doesn't respect that and he doesn't hear you (or doesn't care enough)
Throw them out OP!!!
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weeperOfChimneys
NTA, she has all but said she's attempting to kill you with peanuts. Quoting a comedian doesn't make it funny or acceptable. He hasn't bothered to search her and divest her of the nuts when he picks her up either.

OOP: He offered this as a suggestion. Visitation before she entered my apartment but I don’t want this kind of life. I was fine only seeing him on his weeks off. But I understand that he wants something more permanent than meeting every other week so he probably should find another woman

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YoghurtSnodgrass
She would probably just hide peanuts around his place for you to hopefully come in contact with. Just break up. His kid is trying to kill you.
Where is she even getting all these nuts from? Is her mom buying them for her? Does she buy them from a vending machine at school? How crazy is the little turd?
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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 1 day later
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Hi everyone! Thank you so much for really caring about a stranger with a dilemma. I was glad that I wasn’t wrong in my guts. I told my bf that I wanted to break up.
He was very sad and tried to reason with me. He suggested that we could live separately. His daughter will soon be an adult. I told him that being 18 doesn’t guarantee that she leaves the nest nor that he stops being a father either. Any time she could come across hardships and wants to move home and she needs to find that home. She couldn’t have it with me.
And about living separately, while it is fine now and some few years ahead. What about the future?
He was silent and listening to me. I felt overwhelmed because I love him. He said that the only way his daughter will be happy is when he is alone. She is in therapy but she has not shown any regards for her father or his life. She seems to not see him as an individual with feelings. He is just a father. I didn’t know what to tell him and just said that she probably needed time to grow up.
Until he moves out, his daughter is not allowed to be in my apartment. She called and threw a tantrum about her father choosing me instead. That she has the right to live with her father every other week and this shouldn’t change. I didn’t say anything, they need to fix this as a family, I am not a part of this family anymore.
He rented his apartment for a year’s contract so I don’t know how he will manage to find a new or terminate the lease so he could move back to his old apartment. Anyway he is staying here for a couple of months.
I am very sad that this beautiful relationship has come to an end. But I need to think about myself now.
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Comments
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he_nooch73
Know you made the right choice for you, your health, your safety. As someone said in your other post ‘you may love him, but you probably love breathing more’. I think you’re right about his daughter never accepting his partners. He needs to address this with her in therapy. I hope her therapist knows about the peanuts because her behaviour is truly disturbing. I’m so sorry your relationship had to end.
Commercial-Ask3416
I feel so bad for you and your boyfriend. I feel like he is stuck between a rock and hard place regarding his daughter. I know people are saying he should discipline her or this and that, but it sounds like it wouldn't work and that she would likely escalate. I work with kids like her. Hoping her not being able to live with her dad the next few months will be a wake up call for her but in my experience I doubt it. Good luck to the both of you, especially him as he has to deal with the fallout. Not your monkey, not your circus anymore.
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

hey everyone, i'm not sure where to post this but i'm technically asking for advice so here goes. i'm graduating hs and the ceremony is this weekend, one of my favourite teachers whom i've had since junior year is also leaving. he's a really talented teacher and out of all the classes i had, his was my favourite because it was fun and we also learnt a lot. on the other hand, he's also been very supportive of my goals and a true friend considering school was a tough place for me. he reads a lot and sometimes i'd read a book that he recommended and then tell him what i thought of it, the best part is that he's truly interested in my opinion and criticisms. he's also partly the reason that i'm studying his subject at university this year, and i'd really like to thank him for everything because i'm very grateful to have such a kind teacher who actually cared about me unlike most others. what should i write in my note? i don't want it to sound like a love letter or as though i'm infatuated with him, but i also want it to sound genuine and not like a laundry list of things i'm grateful for. if you're a teachementor and have received notes like this, or you're a student who's written a similar note to a teacher, i'd really appreciate some tips. thank you!

Hey, thankyou for taking time and listening to me and your thoughts would mean world to me so thanks in advance. So I've been a very average student and really a below average college graduate. I was sold the dream of IIM in 2019 and i bought it... I gave my everything and scored 90 percentile in firat attempt.. i couldn't make it to IIMs then so everyone told me to keep my hopes hugh and prepare for another year... I am a commerce graduate with a profile of 7/7/6 so i wouldn't be getting much of a job then so i prepared for another year and scored 85%ile. I fell in depression and fucked my year again... Then again i gave CAT in 2021 and scored 89%ile till now i figured out that CAT isn't for me but my whole personality was drawn around CAT so i took a decision to go for SSC and BANK papers and give CAT every year without preparing and give that token of respect to CAT for defeating me. I cracked all BANKs and SSC papers twice in 2022 and 2023 like all pre , mains everything but always choked in interviews and couldn't make it to any merit lists. Cracking paper became piece of cake for me and i also got offered for many teaching jobs but i wanted to go into REAL JOBS and i know i am not much of a teacher... I gave 2023 CAT too as because of aforementioned reason without even a perp of day and scored 96%ile i was into the clouds that finally my dreams of getting into IIMs would be fulfilled and I'll get to be above average for once. I gave my best interview in CAP but damn didn't get any shortlisting have EOI in bodhgaya and Jammu but I don't wanna get into those IIMs after wasting 5 years of my life . I wanted Rapiur ,Ranchi,Udaipur,Trichy and they all just dropped me . At this particular point of time I don't know what to do i cry every night because of what people feel that i am and i am a f*cking ZERO. I DON'T KNOW SHOULD I TAKE THEM? or shall I again prep for SSCs because i might make it to merit list with better preparation... I come from a very lower middle class background and my father is gonna get retired next year November...i have time till then only or maybe 1 year more... Please take these things into consideration and tell me what to go for i am tired of being in such clueless condition. Thankyou.

Today I confronted my narcissistic mom about the fact I feel like my entire life she’s never been there for me, and I never felt any love from her, and that she never protected me from my abusive dad.
This is how it went:
Me: “Mom, I need to tell you that honestly I feel I’ve never had a real mom. One that protected me”.
Mom: “From who I need to protect you from then? 🙄”.
Me: “Dad. He is very voilent. He is mean, and always slams with doors”.
Mom: “Don’t be ridiculous. He is doing nothing wrong. You’re so ungrateful, I do everything for you. And this is what I get back? I go to de dentist with you, I go to the eyewear store with you! I do so much for you!”.
Me: “I am thankful for those things, but I also feel like you’re never there for me when I need your motherly protection”.
Mom: “You do not need any protection. You’re slamming with doors, too”.
Me: “Not true. I didn’t slam. It was because of the suction of the open window”.
Mom: “You’re slamming, too. And no it’s not because of ythe suction”.
Me: “I just am telling you how I am feeling”.
Mom: “Well, feelings don’t always have to be right”.
Me: “I feel like this the entire life, mom”.
Mom: “Still”.
Me: “I just feel like I’ve never had love from a mom. All my life”.
Mom: “I’ve given you plenty of love. Always doing everything for you, and helping you, yeah, that is not love 🙄”.

I don’t know what to do but I’m at end right now. I love my boyfriend. He’s the love of my life but he’s an alcoholic and he has bipolar. We currently live together. When he’s sober he’s the most wonderful boyfriend anyone can ever ask for. He’s super good to me and amazingly sweet but when he drinks he turns into a completely different person. He starts insulting me, blaming me and yelling at me at sometimes. It really hurts. When he sobers up the next day he often doesn’t remember what happens and he apologizes to me a lot then he would take me out to a nice dinner or something to make up for it. He would say he’s sorry and he won’t drink anymore but we’ll go out and he’ll get one drink then one drink turns into 5. Its process starts all over again. It’s breaking my heart. When he drinks his bipolar episodes happens more often where he yells at me.
2 months after we moved in. He stopped drinking for months because he wanted to be better and he did. He stopped drinking and started getting into healthy habits and exercising. He was sober for 6 months. The bipolar episodes decreased dramatically and our relationship was going amazing. Until he got appendicitis he got surgery after 2 weeks he was able to walk again. The doctor says he wants him to stay a few weeks before going back to work physically. He’s in IT so he’s been working from home. He’s been going a little stir crazy so been doing little things like going out to eat or going to the park. Around the 3 week. He wanted to see his brother DJ and he asked if he could have one drink. He just wanted a little and he said he wouldn’t go back how he used to. I didn’t see the harm since it’s been so long and it was fine he only had 2 drinks and he was done. Well the next day it didn’t end with that. Then he wanted more. He started leaving and meeting his friends at the bar everyday. He came home drunk everyday. He kept saying “this is the last time or the end of the week I’ll stop.” It’s been 5 weeks now he’s been drinking everyday. I don’t know how to talk to him about it. He’s extremely stubborn and I don’t know what to do
I always wanted to talk about my mental health. I’ve been in and out of therapy for a while now. Even before we got together. I deal with anxiety and lately depression only when my bf drinks. When he doesn’t drink I’m happy and focused on my career. All I can think about is doing better so I can help build a better relationship to head to our goals to travel and get house.
Before we got together I was dealing with an abusive partner and I called the cops on him when he finally laid his hands on me. When I was in therapy I hated it and often found it didn’t do much for me. Only one therapist helped me and sadly I couldn’t see her anymore because I ended up moving back to my home state to be with my bf.
Honestly I’m just tired. I love my bf I’ve always loved him. We met when I was 17 and he was 20. We met when I was visiting a different city 3 hours away from mine with my friends. We started a long distance relationship a month after we met. He used to visit me at my home city all the time. He was my first love. I ended up breaking up with him because it was too much. He was a drug addict and had bipolar episodes were really bad. It torn me up to break up with him. My friends kept saying “it’ll get better or you’ll better off without him.” Everything that was supposed to make me feel better made me feel sick. We still stayed in contact because I didn’t have the heart to cut him off. I have always been the “good girl” growing up but I was so heartbroken I started getting in trouble drinking, smoking and hanging out with different crowd. Later on me and bf went out separate ways. I got into different relationships. So did he. I still never stopped thinking about him and I missed him. No longer relationship felt the way it made me feel. What’s crazy is that we never even had sex while we were dating. He was always respectful about it. 4 years after our break up I finally stopped missing him but he still had a special place. Throughout the years he would randomly message or call me. Asking me how I was doing or asking for me back. I would love talking to him and I would tell him no since I didn’t want to go through what I did before. Throughout the years I just battle through anxiety and some depression episodes. I’ve been on and off antidepressants as well.
I got back with him because we started talking again but this time it was different. We’re in our early thirties now. We just kept talking about our lives and how we were doing. He changed and matured a lot. He ended up very successful and stopped using drugs. We kept talking and he told me he never got over me. He missed me and wanted me back. I told him I didn’t how to feel about him and took a few days but I found myself having those old feelings resurfaced again. We got back together and I moved in with him.
I still don’t regret my decision but I find myself super depressed when he under the influence. Sometimes when I get like this I find myself wishing I wasn’t alive. I never told any of my friends or family this because I don’t want them to see him as a bad person and I don’t want to bother people with my problems. I don’t tell friends or family because all they’re going to say is “ you deserve better” and literally that makes me feel awful because I don’t want to hear it. I hate when they say that it puts me into a fit of rage.
If I leave him I know I won’t handle it well and probably go into a state of extreme depression where I may want to harm myself. I often think about it when he says he doesn’t want to be with me anymore when he’s drunk. I never tell him that or anyone else. I use to have an emotional support dog that would help me regulate my depression but he passed away 2 months ago from lymphoma. Now I feel like I don’t have anything or anyone to live for. I find myself wishing I wasn’t alive. Being jealous of that Dutch girl before scheduling her euthanization because of her mental health. Probably one of the peaceful moments of my life was ODing at music festival. I thought I was dying and I was completely okay with it. The only thing I was worried about was my dog and who will he have if I wasn’t around. But I ended up waking up in the med tent alive feeling a little disappointed that I didn’t pass. I’m so tired. I’m so sick of therapy, antidepressants and “supportive words” I just want everything to just stop. Sorry I just wanted to get it all out and I don’t know what else to do.

Hey y’all! Just got home from Welcome to Rockville 2024… what a crazy, wild, fun, and HOT weekend! I’m gonna just list out some tips for the festival for anyone that plans on going in the future and some tips for concerts/festivals in general!
everyone is different and this is based on my personal experiences at concerts and festivals. Some tips may be super obvious, but if you’re a first timer, it’s good to have a reminder! There is no guarantee all these tips will apply to you/be allowed at every/future festivals. Make sure to check festival/concert venue rules and regulations before you go

1. Keep an eye on the weather! The weather was hotter than I expected a couple days, and cooler other days. Make sure to pack some back up outfits and FL in May… expect anywhere from 70°-95°… with humidity the first day, it felt like over 100°. They also delayed doors one of the days because of possible thunderstorms. Download the WTR app to get alerts right away!
   
2. Lockers are lifesavers! Who wants to carry extra weight all day?! I splurged on a 4 day locker and am so happy I did. Great meet up spot when you’re with friends and get separated, can throw a towel and extra clothes and sunscreen in it and grab what you need when you need it. Wanna go in a pit or crowd surf? Toss everything in your locker. Don’t want to be bringing things in and out of the festival? Leave it in the locker overnight!
   
3. To avoid heat exhaustion and passing out, stay hydrated!! I did not drink any alcohol until sunset each day and drank lots of water during peak heat of the day. They ended up allowing hydro packs because it was so hot. I would bring one along just in case they say you can bring them in. I do not condone drugs but if you insist on taking them, be aware that Rockville had a police dog at gates and please be safe and don’t test your limits at a festival
   
4. More on bags and hydro packs… www.lunchboxpacks.com has clear bags with hydro packs. If they don’t allow the hydro pack, you can remove it. These bags have anti-theft zippers and pockets, and with all the reports of lost phones and other items being literally stolen out of pockets and bags, this bag really helped keep everything secure. For me, this bag passed through security with no issue. Side note, DO THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK if they haven’t announced letting hydro packs in, you can hid the bag and tube in your clothes, it’s all plastic and won’t set off an alarm.
   
5. List of helpful items to bring:
   

• Sunscreen (for my makeup lovers, I used a 50 SPF CC cream on my face so I could have some coverage and not get burnt or have a greasy face)
• Sanitizer
• Lip balm with SPF
• Wet wipes
• Tissues (literally will be breathing in dirt/sand and will get congested… blow occasionally)
• Sunglasses
• Bandaids (I had so many blisters from wearing Docs lol)
• Ear plugs
• Power bank/charging cables (lunchbox packs has a great power bank)
• Towel/light blanket (use to sit on the ground if you don’t wanna stand in the crowd or seating in tents is full)
• Extra shirt/bottoms (best to keep in locker. Some stages had a dude with a firehose spraying the crowd and I got drenched. Also one night it got cold and I was able to put a tee on over my bikini and I almost had a bodysuit malfunction another day so having shorts to put on helped)

1. Dress “code”: wear whatever you want (ladies, nips have to be covered!). I saw people covered head to toe, in comfy clothes, costumes, and people wearing pasties and thongs. Anything goes! They are strict on spikes… do NOT wear anything with spikes. They allowed small chain necklaces, but no thick chains… however, day 1, walking to the entrance of the security line I had thick chain necklaces on and the security guard at the entrance told me to hide them in my bag… I got them through that way and then put them on. It seems like once you get through security, they don’t care unless some issue arises from something you’re wearing/brought in.
   
2. Crowd safety! Careful in the pits! Remember the number one rule… if someone falls… PICK THEM UP. We are a family so let’s help each other stay safe. If you see someone acting up, tell security. If someone is stealing, tell security. If someone is about to/is passing out, get a medic. If you are near a pit and not in it, keep an eye on it so you don’t get knocked over. If someone comes at you, don’t freak out and shy away, just push them back in. If the pit is behind you, my best defense (I am a pretty small female so be careful with this one if you’re bigger) has been shoving my elbows back behind me to keep people from knocking me forward. Make sure you look back occasionally/pay attention to people around you because there will be an insane amount of crowd surfing… someone even went up in a wheelchair during Slipknot and ADTR told people to crowd surf on top of a crowd surfer… it got crazy and dangerous so STAY ALERT
   
3. Finding your way around… you will have slim to no reception. Keep an eye on landmarks… stages, sound booths, entrances, rides, lights, tents, food trucks, etc. this will help you navigate and set up meeting spots for when you’re with friends. Keep screenshots of the set times and circle what bands you are going to. Set your lock screen to a screenshot of a note with info if your phone is lost or stolen (number of friend/family to call if someone picks up your phone or police catch a thief, your name, etc.) and change home screen to a map of festival.
   
4. Food and drinks: look at all the food options before you pay… some booths give you a kiddie portion for $20+ and some give you more than a full size meal for $15. Try to eat proteins AND carbs since you will be walking a LOT. Protein is going to help with your muscles, while something with carbs will fill you up more so you don’t have to eat as much/often! The drinks are also pricey. The Heavy Tiki booth was definitely the best deal, frozen cocktails in a huge cup with a shot of dark rum on top… $22! Small mixed drinks were about $18.
   

Well if I think of anything else, I’ll add it to the comments or edit post! Rock on y’all!

So, I came across an AD for a drug that's supposed to be able to allow people to skip their periods whenever they'd like. For example, if your wedding day is coming up, and your period is right around the corner, you can take this drug and it delays your period so you can enjoy your special day.
I thought this was so fascinating and cool, that I wanted to share this with my best friend. She immediately replies and claims that this drug will In fact ruin your reproductive system. She said it as if she's personally taken this drug and it has ruined her. Which I know for a fact she hasn't she doesn't even "believe in birth control". Which is fine that's her choice. But I questioned this and replied "Oh, has this happened to people?".
I did a little bit of research, and found no reports on this drug causing harm to your reproductive system, but found that it's actually quite the opposite, and that it in fact is used to help menstrual issues! And I really wanted to drop this on her, but I pulled back and let her have it. Not trying to one up her, I just can't have my girl out here spreading misinformation.
I do this sometimes, and I know that people don't like a "know it all". I've been practicing just going not even acknowledging some of the wild claims people make. But I just can't allow for people to piss on me and tell me it's rain. Now, I don't correct people on small things like grammar, or if they're off a little on stats, I know what they meant no used in correcting them on that stuff... But is this something I should work on?

Hi all,
I am going to get married this year. I love my fiancé dearly. We have been in a relationship for the past 3+ years (Long Distance Relationship). We have had a rocky road, primarily because of my actions. I had cheated on her a few years back with my Ex. (the period of cheating was 1/2 months).
Notable things to note in this period is that she was emotionally and physically unavailable. When asked her about our situationship (then) she would incline to not being in a relationship with me as against being in one with me. I lost my calm and did the bad deed with my ex despite being (mutually) emotionally locked with my fiance (GF then). I hate myself for doing it. I hate the fact that I am one of the person who will now be regarded as a cheater in the relationship. But I have done this and I have to suck it up and become better. To make things worst, I hid it from her and she got to know it a few months later. We had a big fallout. I apologized and apologized as I had really done her wrong. I felt the pain and I was with her as much as I could to make things better.
I have spent a year after that, listening to some of the most toxic things I would never want to hear from my GF. I tried to make things right amongst the two of us. If that meant taking the toxic hit, so be it. I really did want that woman as my wife. I shouldnt have done what I did, but I did. My deed was such that meant taking the hatred that was projected on me. Rightfully so I guess. It even went to the distance of being kicked by her in my chest.
its been 2 years since then, we stuck on made it through this time, but the journey has not been worth it, now that I think about it. I am still hearing about it every day, if not everyday I get a taunt everyday. Highly toxic verbiage every alternate week. I am tired of it now. There has to be a limit to what a man can take. If a prisoner has served his time, it doesnt mean that you torture the prisoner the entire life for this. He has served it and now should be given a chance at showcasing he is a better man?! I know I am deserving of that. I have made a point of showing her that I am a better man, I am not directing myself to any woman apart from her. I give ample re-assurances that she is the one and only! And i So truely mean it. I still mean it at the point of writing. But everytime there is a mention of another woman the blood in her veins boils up. And she treats me like i am a man-slut/hoe/prosititute (VERBATUM). Its understandable after what she has been through she would feel insecure. But this feeling of insecurity cannot directly morph into some highly toxic verbal stuff EVERY SINGLE TIME, even after giving her very peaceful reassurances. (to give you a glimpse of what this highly toxic verbiage is - "I am a cheap slut"/"my family has raised me to be a cheap slut"/"its my inherent nature to be a slut"/"I am nothing else but a hoe"/"I only care about ANY woman's boobs"/"I take every woman (i meet) pussy right into my dick"/ the list goes on and on about this).
In her defense, she has anger management issues, I do not see this as any reason whatsoever to behave like a child. She has actively tried to improve and tone down the toxicity but fails to do so often and once she fails she reverts to her original self of constant toxicity whenever an incident occurs. She doesnt want me around women, I got that. She asks me to unfollow someone, I got that done as well(even though i do not want to support this behavior). Everything I do, is wanting/hoping to make things better in the direction which she likes.
To counter this nuisance and to maintain my mental peace, I have adopted one single strategy. Whenever the incident happens or is about to happen, give her ample reassurance, meaningful reassurances, I even do screenshare of everything I have to let her know i am serious about my relationship with her. Even after everything if she still keeps berating me, calling me out and insulting non stop, i do the same to her and increase the toxicity to as much as i can to tone her down. I hate doing this. I am wanting my peace of mind ANYHOW. I do not care if I have to be the same MONSTER as her to make things normal. I will do what it takes to maintain my peace. (For all those who might think i am doing this on whim - let me tell you the number of times she has called me slut even for the minutest of things unrelated to a girl is 10+ incidents. She has developed a habit of insulting me like this at her convenience. One cannot just let this happen to them all the time. I drew my line and asked her to get her thoughts together (my verbatum words were get your shit together) since now we are getting married and I do not want my second life ahead like this. I have become a better man if she cant recognize that because of her habit to think of me as a cheater, either keep it to herself or DO NOT MARRY ME. this ultimatum has been given because even after we decided to marry we have kept on having recurring incidents like this, where i show every proof of my existence that I am not associated with any girl and she still berates me with full power and makes my life living hell. We have made so many wedding arrangements that it is impossible to revert it now. We are from India, so thinking of a way to make a prenup where if her toxicity continues, I am out. I care about myself more than i can take this tantrum every single time. It has now even started affecting my work life; if my team has women on it and my interaction to them increases, I am at fault. I am tired is the only statement i can say at the moment. IDK what to do, what are the legal rules around this? would it be better if we get legally married in USA? that option is open as well.
MY QUESTION TO YOU ALL IS, ARE WE BOTH/ME/HER falling in a trap with this wedding? What legal bindings can help as precautionary steps? Can we add clauses to prenup where if she is toxic i leave, if I cheat she leaves , HOW DOES MONEY WORK IN THESE SITUATIONS?
tl;dr - Is there a way to save my marriage? I cheated on her a few years back, she knows, we now have a very toxic insulting love life surrounding it. About to be married in the next 5 months, legal/marriage/mental advice(s)?

I’ve seen some crazy shit from my short 12 month stint at a small IB. It’s border line illegal IMO, but was told it’s common market practice.
So I was staffed to make a competitive industry land scape report, analysing a bunch of lending institutions for a specific loan product. The report chalked out profitability metrics, leverage, geographic presence, corporate strategy, Tech stacks (for managing lending activities), capital adequacy …. etc.
However the problem was the scope of analysis included private lenders as well who weren’t listed. Since the IB where I worked had done a few deals with these names, they had acquired material non-public information via signing NDA’s. I was asked to “monetise” this data & furnish it in the report. I was super uncomfortable with this & ended with leaving the job within a few weeks of this incident.
There were many other things that happened in other teams, which I only heard via gossip, but I wouldn’t be surprised if all that was true. Share your experiences below 👇

I make food everyday for my partner and wait for them to come back for dinner from work. But today their reply made me feel a little sad when I found that they don't realise that I cutely wait for them to come home like we are a little family. Ahh! That hurt. These are little moments when feelings are gently crushed. May be it's just me who's trying to become and care like a family. But it's fine.. can't change how someone feels, making peace. Thanks to this group to hear how I feel.
I feel, my partner is living a life just like all their other friends whose partners are absent. Lonely or who have nobody and need to while away their time. When I see other normal families or couples, they remember to keep partner informed, care to let partner know when they will be home! They actually look forward to going back to home after work. They understand responsibility of having a family. They understand the commitment. I am sure with time when they will find all their currently single friends go back to their home to their own partner, value going home, value sharing meals, get busy with their own family, they will realize they failed to value their own partner when they were supposed to.
I at times wonder why is my relationship so weird and strange than everybody else. Ones just to defend my partners absence I kept telling people it's important to have self time and one of my friend gave me a reply that was a blow on my face - "You don't need self time when you are with the right person. Your love is probably old." I just smiled and left the conversation.