My experiences with dating are limited. I have only had a few girlfriends in my entire life. I had my first kiss quite late, at 14, and never been in a serious or long-term relationship. I am currently single, and I have a lot to work on in my life. In spite of this, people tell me I am not bad looking, and I have even been asked out quite a bit. I would love to start dating again, but in a way, I kind of already gave up on it. I tried dating sites, never paid for them though. However, I kept getting spammed by bots and the very few people who talked to me eventually ghosted me. IRL, girls have asked me out, told me to kiss them, said I was attractive, etc., so on so forth. My personality kind of sucks, or at least I think so. I have a lot of difficulty initiating and maintaining social connections, with...well, everyone. I am quite awkward and never know what to say. However, using those sites killed my already broken self-esteem. IDK what to do, but if anyone can offer any advice, that'd be great.

THE CONNERS: "Famine and Floods"
Scene 1: Conner Kitchen
Dan is sitting at the kitchen table.
Louise walks in.
Dan: Louise, me and the kids are hungry on account of there ain’t no food.
Louise: Look Dan, there’s a can of beans right here in the pantry.
Dan: Me and the kids don’t want beans on account of we had beans last night.
Louise: Well, why don’t you send one of your kids down to the grocery store to pick something up.
Mark walks in.
Mark: Didn’t you hear? The grocery store shut down because of poverty.
Dan slams his fist on the table.
Dan: Damn’t! Lanford needed that grocery store! It’s where we common folk got our food!
Darlene enters.
Darlene: This is the problem with corporate America. They come in and shut down all the local mom and pop stores and then run out of town at the first sign of trouble.
Jackie enters, Mark exits (not seen again the entire episode).
Jackie: She’s right. They call it FOOD DESERTS (said in a very long exaggerated voice). Yeah, pretty soon we’re gonna be slithering around like snakes trying to get water from a cactus.
Dan: This just ain’t right.
Louise: Well, rather than complaining, maybe we can do something. What if we all pitched in and started selling groceries at the hardware store?
Darlene: That’s a great idea. It’ll be like the old days when people bought their groceries at the hardware store.
Ben: And I know a guy with a grocery warehouse who’ll probably sell me groceries at half off.
Dan: That’s it! The Conners are in the grocery business and saving Lanford from starving.
Jackie: Well, some of us would probably starve a little sooner than others. I’m just saying. And we could always eat MOM if we had to!
(Theme song.)
Scene 2: Olinsky's Hardware Store
Ben is standing at the hardware store counter.
Darlene enters.
Darlene: I just got a call from the villainous county grocery commissioner. He says we can’t sell groceries because we don’t have a permit. If we try to sell them anyway, he’ll shut down the entire hardware store and then you won’t be able to support us on my lunch lady salary, I’ll have to quit for another job, and Mark won’t be able to go to college!
Ben: That totally blows.
Dan walks in from the back room.
Dan: Well, how much is this grocery permit?
Darlene: It’s $500!
Dan: $500! Oh geez, that’s the amount of money I've saved up to pay off the mortgage. But Lanford needs groceries, so...
Darlene: Dad, we can’t ask you to give up your dream of paying off the mortgage.
Harris enters.
Harris: I’ll do it. I’ll go to Chicago to turn tricks to earn the $500 so you all can sell groceries and Lanford doesn’t starve and Mom doesn’t have to quit her job and Mark can keep going to college.
Darlene: Harris, you don’t have to do this. But you’re sure you want to?
Harris: I mean, yeah, I guess so. I’m not worth anything to the family anyway. I guess this is the only thing I can do to be any value in the world.
Darlene: You are such a good daughter.
Scene 3: Conner Family Room
Jackie: Has anyone noticed Harris acting a little differently lately?
Darlene: No, what do you mean?
Jackie: I don’t know. She seems just kind of down, you know. Not like her normal self.
Darlene: We’re Conners. Something would be wrong if we weren’t a little down.
Jackie: No, I’m serious this is different. Watch.
Jackie hits a catatonic Harris over the head with a football and she doesn’t move.
Darlene: Maybe you’re right. I’ll take her down to the Urgent Care just to be safe.
Scene 4: Conner Family Room
Dan is on the edge of his seat as Darlene and Harris walk back in the house.
Dan: Well what did they say?
Darlene: Apparently the doctor says Harris is suffering post-traumatic stress disorder from her sex work in Chicago.
Dan: Is it serious?
Harris (with flat, matter of fact affect): The doctor says I’ll be OK. He gave me a referral to a person who will help me with coping strategies for the irrational thoughts I have while I’m selling my body.
Dan: Oh, thank God.
Scene 5: Conner Family Room
Ben enters.
Ben: Guys, I just heard on the radio. The first ever hurricane to hit Illinois is here NOW and it’s headed straight for Lanford.
Darlene: What are we going to do?
Louise: Dan, your kids need to grow up and learn how to face this hurricane on their own. I’m going to be on the road for the next three weeks, and I wanted to watch Yellowstone with you tonight.
Dan: Kids, Louise is right. It’s time you all faced this hurricane by yourselves.
Darlene: But that’s not fair! We’ve always faced things as a family.
Dan (winking): Well, I’m putting my foot down. You all have to weather the storm by yourselves.
Louise: Oh, alright Dan. They can weather the hurricane with us.
Becky enters.
Becky: Sober life is so amazing. Colors are vibrant, I hear birds chirping in the morning, and I’m present for Beverly Rose!
Darlene: That’s great. Did you hear, a hurricane’s about to hit Lanford? Also I accidentally threw out that notebook you keep with your list of coping mechanisms for being an alcoholic. You didn’t need it right?
Beck: Umm, no, everything is OK. I’ll be fine. I’m just going to head to the basement.
Scene 6: Conner Basement
The Conners all walk down to the basement.
Dan: Becky, where are you? The hurricane’s passed. It’s all OK.
They find Becky lying face down next to a bottle of Vodka. Beverly Rose is teetering on the edge of a bookshelf.
Jackie: Oh, my god, this is bad.
Darlene: Becky, Becky, wake up. What are you doing?
Becky: It was just all too much. The hurricane and then I didn’t have my notebook of coping mechanisms.
Dan huffs in anger.
Dan: Don’t you get it Becky! It was never about that book of coping mechanisms! Can’t you see what Mark has done to you! Can’t you see he’s sending us these hurricanes and shutting down the grocery store from the beyond? Whenever there’s a problem, can’t you see it’s Mark? What do I have to do to get through to you that Mark was Satan’s spawn and is cursing the town of Lanford from the pits of Hell?
Becky breaks down crying.
Jackie: She’s having a breakthrough. Her alcoholism is going into remission again.
Becky: I’m cured everybody.
Everyone hugs Becky.
Dan: To celebrate, let’s go down to the Hardware Store to pick up some groceries for dinner! Brewskis are on me; I can punt on paying off the mortgage until next month.
Jackie: I don’t know, I was thinking about eating MOM!
END CREDITS

Why did the farmer visit the pharmacy? To speak with the farm-assist.
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old man who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking in female connection and interaction. And part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too.
I'm just relaxing at work since there's nothing really going on and thinking about going home tonight and burning a woodwick candle. Perfect for when there's a storm outside. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a relationship and something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
As you can tell, I am very mature for my age and am polite and have good grammar which unfortunately not everyone my age does anymore lol. I am not active at all on social media/internet culture really and don't know much about all the slang the younger people these days use. I feel like I'm 50. 🤣
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha. I consider myself pretty intelligent and mature, especially for my age which is why I'm open to older ladies.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera! I'm gonna try and photograph the northern lights tonight!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.

My partner and I have been together for almost a year. We have been going really great, with a few hiccups like he keeps me at arms length from his son whenever his son looks like he wants to bond with me. My confusion is this: we went on. Date last Friday, he was tender like usual, looking at me with soft eye, smiling at me, putting his arm around my shoulders, and he even kissed me goodbye and said he loved me at the end of the night when I went home to my kids. The next day, he messaged me and said he was done with the relationship and wants nothing to do with me. I am absolutely heartbroken. I don't understand. Did I miss something?

Hi all, first time here so trying my best to post how the wiki allows. I’m hoping to turn a not great situation into a better one. Just totaled my car (not at fault, originally paid in full) and received a $24k lump sum settlement to replace my vehicle. I am young and have previously been very financially irresponsible, so I have no real savings and also extensive personal and credit card debt: ~$9k on credit cards (23% interest) and an amortized personal loan payment of $250/mo for the next 3.5 years. But I’ve been making steady progress to building better credit! The new car I want is $28k, and used cars are priced pretty poorly in my area right now. Considering financing, but I have a 665. Planning to pay off car before term loan ends regardless of how I finance. Here’s what I’m thinking:
Option A Finance the car with a down payment of up to $14k. Immediately pay off credit cards, leaving about $9k to put toward monthly payments on the car. This frees up ~$200/mo that would’ve gone toward credit card payments anyway. After that, I can dedicate an additional $150-$200 of monthly income toward any new car payment.
Option B Finance the car with a down payment of up to $14k, but immediately invest up to $5000 in index funds for a year to avoid short term gain tax and hopefully get an easy >6% return to put into the car.
What are your thoughts on these? Also is that a good down payment ratio? Any advice is appreciated on the car buying process, building good credit, etc. Thanks guys!

So my girlfriend(22f) and i(24m) have been dating for 5 months and l'm considering ending it. Everything was pertect for the first two months and now these last 3 have been hell. There are a lot of problems we have had but the underlying theme is that all of these problems stem from her past traumas. For example, after our first fight she compared me to her ex and her dad. Any boundary I try to set, she disagrees with and claims I am being controlling. One boundary that I have set that (she keeps crossing) is that I tell her to stop being flirtatious with other guys. From what I know she has three points of trauma, her narcissistic mother (she hasn't talked to her in 2 years), her dad (met him and he seems pretty normal tbh), and her toxic, controlling ex boyfriend (had a relationship for 5 years and he cheated on her and ended up getting the girl he cheated on her with pregnant). She has told me that she would eventually tell me about her past traumas but keeps putting it off and avoiding it. I'm at a point now where I can't stay in this relationship without knowing her traumas because it's impossible for me to move forward without triggering her.
At first I was ok with never knowing but 3 months into the relationship I found out that she had told one of her new friends(friend from work that she has known for 3 months) about her relationship and trauma with her mom. This hurt obviously because I feel that I’m closer to her than her friend. The way I see it is that if she can tell her friend that she has known for the same amount of time as me then she can tell me. I truly believe that her telling me her traumas would significantly improve the relationship. Am I wrong?
Tl:dr My girlfriend won’t tell me her past traumas but will bring them up during fights and they are a cause of a lot of our problems. Do I have a right to know them?

I wrote this party as a form of therapy and partly to have it read on okop. Love you guys!!!! You are all awesome! Especially Sofia! She made the podcast whole!!!
About 2 years ago I couldn’t find a place to live and ran out of money paying to live in air bnbs after moving back to the East cost. I was taken advantage by my cousins, I paid the equivalent of $1800 in work a month for a tiny room to live in while also expected to cook and clean 2 hours a day but I refused to do that part.
I had managed to get out of that situation and get my own 1 bedroom apartment and it cost only $1350 a month. A year later I needed help again. My mom who lives 3000 miles away asked my aunt to help me out. My mom had taken off work to help care for my grandpa so she was strapped for cash. My mom told me that my aunt had her old home still with a friend living there and that she would let me live there. But when I talked to her I was told that “you burnt every bridge when you claimed squatters rights and trashed their home.” I was appalled! And heart broken that people were just believing these lies. I had no idea anyone was even taking about me. I was taken advantage of? That’s how I burnt every bridge?????? So I posted this on Facebook
My cousin and her husband took advantage of me when I needed help. They OFFERED. They were my family. I worked my ass off to be treated like a servant (someone has a birthday in the home? I got him a present then They went out to eat without inviting me because I wasn’t considered family to them) I didn’t say anything. I just did what I was told until it became too much. It’s so sad that his fragile ego couldn’t take my criticism when he ADMITTED without me asking that he was testing me. Apparently a test from a book on war. The test is to see how much someone will sacrifice themselves for you with nothing in return. So I was treated like something to sacrifice not like family. And because I refused to sacrifice everything of myself and when I found out I condemned him for his actions He Literally tried to throw me out on the street. I Worked over 30 hours a week for him for a tiny room, while putting 3,000 miles on my car a month. While paying for my own food. I tried so hard because I thought his intentions were pure. In the end I didn’t complain to anyone about this but my mom and sister. Because I’m not that type of person. It was over. I didn’t want to ever think about it again. But recently I was told that I burned every bridge when I claimed squatters rights. Which didn’t happen. I claimed living rights. I didn’t want to be there but I HAD NO WHERE ELSE TO GO and I was working 30 hours a week for him! I was there for 1 day when I wasn’t working for him before I left. 1 DAY! So I was completely taken advantage and this is how I burned every bridge?? The only thing I did wrong was trusting them. I thought they loved me, I helped raise their children and loved them like my own. He WAS MY ONLY FATHER FIGURE GROWING UP. He knew how I felt about him and he completely took advantage of that. So I’m putting my side out there. Because I didn’t even know that any of them were talking shit to people.
Also important note my mom let her and her husband and 3 young kids live in our house for FREE FOR 4 YESRS!!! 20 years ago.
My mom was able to get my asshole father to pay for a down payment on a car for me to live in by taking the cash without permission lol and telling him the money was for her.
I do instacart for work so I really needed that car. I was going to just try to save enough for a room to rent but decided I was done working paycheck to paycheck. I currently am living in my car while saving every cent I would have spent on rent and utilities.
My mom called me yesterday 2 months after the post on Facebook to tell me how upset she was. She told me that after the Facebook post the whole family started talking about me and how I should be able to take care of myself by now. Even though they have no idea what I’ve been through.
(Necessary context) For years my chronic illness, EDS short for Elhers Danlos syndrome, was really bad. At one point I was completely Bed ridden. My boyfriend of 6 years was amazing and became my full time caregiver while working part time to pay for my pain medication. This went on for about a year. I then found a new doctor that put me on a new medication that changed my life. I was able to brush my hair again! I was able to walk again! I was able to work again! Before this new doctor I was looking into getting a wheel chair and filing for disability! Everything was perfect for a few months. Then my bf developed schizophrenia. We were living with my mom for all of this. With in a few months I went from being taken care of by my bf to being his full time caregiver. It took him about 1.5 years to stabilize. Though all this we were working doordash and instacart because neither of us could keep a full time job. When we moved out of my moms place back to the East cost we thought we could just keep working gig jobs but after the pandemic people wanted to go out to eat and shop for themselves. We tried to get real jobs but with out any recent regular work history or references it was really hard. On top of that any job I could get was either part time or lied to me about being full time!! That is the gist of our problems with paying for a place to live.
So back to the main story. My mom told me that her 6 siblings were contacting her one by one to tell her to cut me off. (She had been helping me financially as much as she could for years now) There was a reason my mom lives 3000 miles away and it was to get away from these assholes. The only reason she had contact with them was to coordinate care for my grandfather. Until recently I thought at least some of them were good people. They told her that I was almost 30 years and should be able to care for myself. I had never received help from any of these people! And only ever asked for help from one of them once! I didn’t understand why any of them even cared. Did I make them feel some type of way with my post that talked shit about none of them? (Unless calling out someone for talking shit is talking shit) it’s not like she had been giving me money instead of any of them. The 2nd Best part of the story is the hypocrisy. 3 my cousins, all from different parents, still live with their parents! And they’re all older then me! But no one has a problem with that? My mom asked her brother why it was ok that his daughter was still living with him? My uncle said it was because she has 3 children. My mom then asked him why she should abandon me for not having children I couldn’t afford? Great burn mom! Now this is the best part!! After telling me all of this she says that she wants to pay off my car for me. I was going to wind up paying 20 grand for a 10 grand car because of my lack of credit. So I guess thank you to everyone that told her to cut me off! Because it has only seem to inspire her to help me more!!!
Ps: my mom is writing a book that already has 3 publishers trying to sign her! Exposing all the reasons she moved across the county to get away from all of them. Go her!!!

Been a desktop support for nearly 4 years. I quit my job due to a mental breakdown and am regretting that completely and no I don’t tell interviewers that. But I’ve had what seemed to be great interviews and then I get the rejection email. Today I had what seemed like a nuke was set off in my interview like it couldn’t have gone any worse. I feel exceptionally horrible and that I’m expecting the rejection email by Friday. I have one interview left tomorrow if I don’t get that one I have no idea of what I’m going to do. I have bills coming due I don’t have a savings didn’t make enough. And had to do several home fixes that depleted my savings. I’m freaking tf out now.
I’ve submitted somewhere around 75 applications and only a handful of interviews. I even went back to my last boss to try and get my job back explain to him I had a mental break and just snapped due to having a bipolar manic episode. He told me had I come to him the week before he’d have gladly taken me back, but they had just offered the position to a new person and they accepted the offer. He told me use him as a reference he’d never give me a bad reference which is nice to hear. He kept praising my skills and dedication to the job. But it still ended with me quitting and coming off a bipolar manic episode and realizing I done fk’d up.
I just bought my dream Wrangler in December I’m so nervous it’s going to get repoed. I talked to the finance company had I made 6 payments they could’ve pushed it 3 months but I’ve only made 4. So I’m screwed.
Then, found out my(f) girlfriend well thought was my girlfriend had started dating a dude. After a long distance thing she moved back and well that made my mental health even worse because I dearly love her. I was about to try and rekindle the relationship now that she’s back locally and of course get another job to be told “oh I’m dating a guy”.
I’m about to be off all my meds within the month and I’m freaking out about that as they literally keep me sane. I can’t go without life is hell for me and anyone around me including my ex gf and my husband. I can’t control my words, thoughts, actions without my anti psychotic meds. So ya I’m freaking tf out. My husband almost divorced me over not being medicated it was an ultimatum for me getting on meds. It’s not pretty.
I’ve been added to a prayer list at a church. I’ve asked friends to please keep me in their thoughts and prayers. Hell, half of them remember me prior to meds and are like omg dude what are you going to do? Fuck idk.

I recently moved into a new apartment—and the strata bylaw says and quote
“All smoking, including smoking marijuana, is prohibited on limited common property balconies and patios and within three meters of the entrance ways to the buildings, open windows and air intakes.” “No material substances, especially burning material such as cigarettes or matches, shall be permitted to be discharged from any window, door, patio or other part of a strata lot or the common property” “Thank you in advance for your cooperation. Your Strata Council”.
I respect this hands down—I’ve always tried to be a respectful smoker: I have pocket ashtrays, so i don’t leave my butts laying around, I don’t even ASH on the ground, and any time I see somebody approaching, I always put my cigarette out so they don’t have to smell the smoke. That being said, I’ve never smoked on my balconies, I’ve never smoked right outside the building—and every time I go for a smoke, I walk about 5 minutes away from the buildings itself, and smoke on a hiking trail off the side of the highway—even at night.
Now imagine my surprise when i get an email from my landlord stating my property manager has gotten reports of me smoking outside the building. If by outside the building, you mean 200 feet away? Sure! Smoking on my patio or right outside the lobby? Absolutely not.
I’ve gotten so paranoid about these reports I’ve started walking further. I use an umbrella to shield people’s direct view of me smoking a cigarette so I can put it out before they see me.
There was construction today, and I didn’t hear somebody’s footsteps. A guy from my building walking his dog. Put out my smoke the moment I realized, and he yanked his dog away from me when the dog tried to sniff my leg like I was roadkill.
I’m following the bylaw as best as I possibly can being a disabled person; I don’t think I can walk further, this already causes me great strain. This is giving me such paranoia I’m having nightmares about it. I don’t want to be the cause of my roommates getting evicted.
What can I do if I keep getting reported by my neighbours? Thanks in advance for replies. ://

Having worked (briefly) in the world of online dating, I can tell you a few things about the scene.

1. Most dating apps use bots to keep you engaged and subscribed
2. Most of the 'quality' singles aren't on free and/or low cost dating apps
3. Most of the 'award winning' algorithms aren't very good at all.

If you really want to get something out of online dating, you pretty much need to use match making services. If you're not ready to do so, then just do it the old fashioned method (go to the gym, bar, hobby groups, etc.)
Still interested? Ok, let's cover the best matchmaking services and associated sites.

1. Tawkify - hands down the best. They use real human matchmakers and actually put the work in. Their services aren't cheap, but if you're serious about meeting someone that a great fit but don't have the time to weed through a city of singles (and value your time), you won't get better than Tawkify.
2. 3DayRule - similar to tawkify although the results aren't as good. Slightly cheaper though. Be aware, many of the members are after a mentorship and/or hypergamy situation.
3. Seeking - Not a match making service. Instead, this is a 'luxury dating site'. Much more affordable than Tawkify (but more expensive than zoosk and eharmony).

Of course, I messed up at some point, but when? That is the question.
Well, let’s go back to the time when things were actually decent. No drama, no responsibilities, no overthinking, no illnesses, no school stress or at least not as much. The time when I was dying to get to where I am right now; a time when I didn’t realize how silly my dreams were.
A 14-year-old boy; a smart, fun, energetic and loved one who’s about to start his high school life. My ambitions were skyrocketing after seeing my grades and being aware of what I can achieve. “Oh boy! This about to be lit” said the 14 years old me.
The year started great. I will be taking classes with my friends from the hood; what could be better than this? Fortunately, there was a thing, a heavy laptop that my dear father bought me. “ here is to help you with your studies little fella” said my father. Unfortunately, that wasn’t fortunate. I like to believe that that was the start of it all.
As that year was going by, my uncle was getting married. “My youngest uncle is finally getting married ” was the constant phrase wandering in my mind the day he told us. He got married to a lovely woman who later converted to Islam and took the name Zainab for herself. Zainab spoke English most of the time and that was everything I wanted to be able to do at the time; speak English. “ wait! I have a laptop, and I can afford some internet?” I asked myself. Let’s learn some.
Like every boy with or without a computer back in the day, I created a Facebook account and put my finest pictures on there. Day after day I became more knowledgeable about what is going on on the internet. My English was improving, no doubt, but I needed interactions with natives. “What do I do?” I started asking as if it was the end of the world if I couldn’t figure out a way.

A few weeks ago I started talking to a girl on Hinge, we exchanged a few messages back and forth for a day or two before she ghosted me, or at least, I thought she did. Anyway, about a week went by and she messaged me back and apologized, turns out she was on vacation and just got home. Ever since then we've been texting back and forth everyday, went on a couple dates, and had a really great time. We have so much in common and we have some of the best conversations with each other.
The problem now is that I'm about to leave for about 6-8 weeks on a road trip with my family. I really want to continue seeing her, but obviously that won't happen until I return. She knows I'm going to be gone and she also wants to continue seeing me, which is great. I just don't know what to say to her, like.... we're obviously not exclusive so I wouldn't expect her to just wait for me either, which is totally cool. I wouldn't even want her to do that. I'm really not sure if she's seeing anyone else, it wouldn't even bother me if she is. She seems to have a pretty quiet life in a small town with a couple close friends, and I really like that.
Should I just put it all out there, wear my heart on my sleeve, and tell her how I feel? I don't want to scare her away, but I also really want to continue seeing her if she's not with someone else when I get back, which is what I'm worried about, but I also totally understand.
I've been single long enough now that losing another one wouldn't bother me in the grand scheme of things.... but it also would, because I really, really like this girl. I'm 28/m and I'm honestly at the stage in my life where I'm trying to find the right girl to settle down with so I'd really like to see where this goes in the long run.
TLDR; Hit it off with this girl, we have a lot in common and chat a lot, met less than a week ago and only been on a couple dates. I really want to keep seeing her but now I'm leaving for 7-8 weeks and I don't know if I should put it out there and tell her how I feel or just see what happens and hope she doesn't find a new guy. Obviously a lot can happen in 6-8 weeks during summer and we're not exclusive so I TOTALLY understand.

Hey all, I finally had my first reddit worthy experience; it might not be hall of fame horror but it’s packed with lesson to be learned.
Our table in question is an all adult (late 20s to mid 30s) respectfully rated R “friends only” crew. This is the story of how someone went from being in our wedding party to kicked out of our adventuring party.
Our crew: Myself, first time DM with a management day job. My spouse, Fighter, who’s a brand new player. Another married couple: Land Druid and Wizard, who generally host the game. Wizard and Land Druid have a kid who's great and only relevant for context on some of the bad behavior later. And finally our star of the hour, a Moon Druid problem player I'll be referring to as Rude Druid.
The story begins before Fighter and I were married and I had gotten into playing at a virtual 5e table with some work colleagues during the quaren-times. Once we all got our "go outside pass" I decided to try my hand at running a table. Fighter and I were not yet living together and we'd made a friend through an app who definitely had some "quirks" but was a fun hang and we had a lot of shared interests, one of which being tabletop. The three of us had discussed getting a 5e game rolling if we could fill out a party and Rude Druid previously was a "forever DM" so was excited to get into the player seat even though it would mean commuting about an hour to attend. Fighter met and made friends with land druid and then we all met at a “yard games and hang” party some time later where I and Wizard shared their interest in tabletop and boom-bam-pow a campaign is born. Various members of the group have various neural divergences as well as histories of (lets politely say) big bad events in their past that made a thorough session zero a must. We all agreed on where our lines and veils were and months of happy dice rolling ensue without issue.
Along the way there were some yellow flags:
Since two players were playing druids and crowd control (CC) became a major mechanic, the DM invested in some gridded combat tools and put significant effort into making CC a fun and valuable part of combat and would mix in “smart” enemies and “dumb” ones to allow for the druids to have their awesome moments but not completely take over every combat. Rude Druid constantly tried to break the grid rules of their AOE spells and even got in an open argument with DM who insisted they adhere to the published rules. One such disagreement ending with the classic Rude Druid: “I’d allow it at my table”DM: “We’re not at your table, we’re at my table and we’re following the grid combat rules”That should have been the end of that right? Would you believe the DM had to call out the player for attempting to break AOE rules several more times? Rude druid also used wild shape to access an area unavailable to the rest of the party, which was fine until they then went on to refuse to rejoin the rest of the party and insisted on their own little side adventure. They even refused the party directly asking the player to come back so they could play as well. Eventually the DM said “We’ll now cut back to the party, you may rejoin whenever you feel like it” and had to remind the player about the “don’t split the party” agreement discussed in session 0. Sadly the yellow flags turned crimson and led to some major boundary crossing. While DM had offered their guest room to the druid for nights they didn’t want to drive home, the expectations got out of hand. They first switched from driving to taking public transport, which was their prerogative, but then expected rides too and from the transit station during working hours. The fighter took care of the driving for a while because they worked a later shift and the two were friends. But then the schedule expanded to needed to be taken for food, expecting to go rock-climbing every time, etc etc and the DM’s “you can crash here and head out whenever” turned into an expectation of a 24 hour commitment of the Fighter being the druid’s personal entertainer and driver. Fighter actually left the game for a short time to deal with life stuff and druid tried to guilt other members into taking over the extra driving, which we all refused. Rude druid is also the most disgusting eater that I’ve ever experienced in my life and both I and another member of the party have misophonia which we’d brought up multiple times making it clear “this is extremely unpleasant for us. Please get it under control”. The sound effects got so bad the hosts had to resort to BANNING snacks from DND night because it was impossible for 2 of us to participate in the game. I promise you, it was so bad you’d have done the same.In the midst of all this DM and Fighter got married, navigated some difficult decisions on housing, moved in together, and now DM no longer had a spare room to offer. Shortly after moving in fighter had two major illnesses that included multiple trips to the hospital and the DM made it clear that the offer of a spare room was no longer on the table for obvious reasons. We all expected the druid to control their alcohol consumption and drive themselves home after the sessions. Rude druid instead invited themselves to crash at the host couple’s house and forced an extremely uncomfortable “that’s not okay, we don’t really do that”. It’s at this point that I’ll remind you that the host couple has a kid and I’ll roll the clock back to a point in time when rude druid quit their job. While telling the story included details that used explicitly violent language. We assumed it was probably hyperbole, but several of us have experienced violence in a way that makes us very not okay with what they were saying. We expressed that sentiment at the time making it clear none of us were ok of threats of violence, even if they weren’t genuine. Rude druid went on to reiterate their anger several more times at various different sessions and to this date I don’t they would have done anything violent but it was WAY over the line and NOT the kind of person you welcome into your home with a young kid. Yet they still seemed completely shocked when trying to stay over at their house was met with a hard no. And finally came the day that we all had enough and the decision was made not to invite them back. Two members of the party were in the final semester of advanced degrees on top of their full time jobs and made it known that they needed to pause the game until after finals because they didn’t have the time or mental energy to commit to the game. The DM and other player immediately understood, wished them the best, and agreed to shelf the game until after graduation. Rude druid did everything in their power to guilt them into continuing to play stating that it would be “good for their mental health” despite this player being the exact opposite of who you’d want mental health advice from. Around this same time the entire crew also attended the DMs birthday party where Rude Druid tried pressuring DM and Fighter to stay while over imbibing in various substances legal in the state this story occurs. This player had to have a pipe physically taken out of their hands and told “you have to drive home, sober up” after repeatedly helping themselves to another attendees scoobie snacks and being an outright jerk to a number of other people in attendance. We had to do a bit of an apology tour with other good friends who were rightly pissed off at various drunken selfish antics and promised that they’d never have to deal with rude druid again.
Our collective limits had been reached, all the other party members got together and unanimously agreed to 86 the player from all of our lives. I wish rude druid the best and I truly hope they can learn to ever consider anyone other than themself, but I for one will not be there to see it.
Happy ending: the players all graduated with flying colors, the game is back on, and rude druid’s character has technically become an NPC that’s “over there” but honestly won’t ever come up again. The game lives on and the rest of us are still good friends with a newly raised bar for what it takes to sit at our table.
As promised, here’s a few easy rules to live by so that you won’t ever experience rude druid’s fall from grace.

• It’s your responsibility to get safely to and from the game. If you’re driving then keep yourself sober. If you can’t handle that, then you shouldn’t consume at all.
• Don’t invite yourself to other people’s house. It’s never okay to impose like that. It’s fine to ask “would anyone be willing to have me” but remember that it’s within everyone’s right to not volunteer.
• Value other people’s time. Remember that no one owes you 24 hours of chauffeur service just because you’re unemployed and bored.
• Don’t split the party or break the rules. Optimization is fine, cheating is not. DnD is a social game and everyone, including the DM, is supposed to have fun and take turns sharing the spotlight.
• Chew with your mouth closed FFS.

Hello So me '24 F' and my boyfriend '23' are in a relationship since january 2024 so it's been about 4 months. He's my first boyfriend, my first lover, my first kiss etc. I can't really take advices from my surroundings because they don't share the same openmind set thant my partner and so I think, however the problem, they will always come to conclusion that I am right.
So me '24 F' and my boyfriend '23' are in a relationship since january 2024 so it's been about 4 months. He's my first boyfriend, my first lover, my first kiss etc.
He has been in a relationship three times before and only long time relationships. He is very kind, sweet, funny that's why I've fallend for him easily and very quickly. Everything was quick, I was confortable with him since our first date. It's odd for me since I'm very shy and mostly around men, even if no romantics feelings involved.
Everything was great, we played videos games together, he is more social than me so I quickly (too quickly) met a lot of his friends and his family. I struggled because it was fast and too much for me but in the end, even if I didn't talk a lot with them I got through it and they are all awesome people.
I stayed a lot at his house, and one time, it was 2 months ago, I did a bad thing. I looked into his insta DM's.. He was talking to his bestfriend about a girl (I knew of because it told me about it) he met in a Valorant game but what I didn't know was that he found her voice pretty. He said things about "bro I met this girl, she can play so well, and you know she has a sweet voice, your brain imagine automatically that it is a pretty girl talking. I tried to guess how she looked like in real life and I had 4 out of 5 good answers. I love 'OP name' with all my heart, I don't want that to be unclear but you know what I mean, it is not being attracted but I know you understand me. It's like having an epistolary relationship"
It broke my heart a little too much, because my vision of him that I had was more like me "when you're in love with someone you only see that person and not fantasm about others". I talk to him about it, if he was attracted to that game girl. He said never I love you, I don't even know how she look like. And myself, knew what he told about her, so hearring him lying was even more hurtful because he always told me that he never ever lies. I kept going and, he made me feel like I was being crazy without saying it. I asked him if he knew it would make me feel sad to keep that girl in friend, was he willing to delete her (I actually didn't want him to delete her, I just wanted to see if he would do it, bc if I played with a guy and if it made him sad, I wouldn't even wait for him to ask the question I would delete him, I don't know him he isn't important). He told me that he wouldn't delete somebody that did nothing wrong, talking to me like I was over reacting.
I finally told him the same day that I had read those messages. They were old messages. He said he didn't remember and he is so sorry bc he would have felt the same way as me 6 years earlier. And when he said all that, it was responds to his friends and he really don't care about her, he could delete her, that he as the same vision of love than me and that those messages meant nothing to him etc etc. I wasn't upset but really sad and for days he kept saying sorry, at one point he cried because I wanted to live (we don't live in the same town). After a lot of talkings and reassuring it was better.
But since that day, I am easily jealous (i wasn't at all before), upset and sad and keep finding things he do wrong. I think for some things I am over the top but I don't know I to canalize it.
For example, he still had his exes in his friends on social media, sometimes they are taking news of him or sending memes, her not him, he just answers. He told me beforend in our first date, he don't love them anymore, I trusted him and still trust him on that. So at first it did nothing to me, even it's like 1 time a month that he receives a mess from them. But since that game girl story, I put that in a discussion, saying that it's weird to keep its exes and what for. But I know that I wouldn't do that, keep my exes so I am surely projecting my vision of a couple on him while we are all different and it's ok.
What made me do this post it's because it's been 5 days that I have came back in my town and for 4 days I didn't have much new from him but still the "i love you's", "good night, miss you so much", "what did you do today?" etc, and it was ok because I new he did have much battery, living in a tent bc he was at and event with his best friend. He came back yesterday, worked the morning got home told me he will see his bestfriend again to do some bycicle, while the past day he told me he would call or send vocals to tell me all about the event, and take time with me. In the afternoon told me he had 1 pourcent left and I didn't havec any news since 5 hours laters, while I was going to bed.
I felt bad all afternoon, thinking why if he knew he would go not charge his phone.. Why didn't he just stayed home playing games with me or calling me instead of seeing his friend he saw for 4 days prior.
The same thing happend when I was sleeping at his house. I felt sad so I told him, I wanted him to go to sleep with me. That day he spent it with his bestfriend at his house. And when his bestfriend left I thought he would be with me. But even tho I told him I was sad, I think he didn't think it was this important and kept playing games all night with his bestfriend.
Their are other times where I felt sad and leftout for little things like that. I want to be like I was at the begininng, I love him I am past little quarrels, and he always asks me how I feel, if I love him, he always reassure me, give me love and affection. I want to let those bad feelings of mine go but I don't know how.
Thanks and sorry if you got through all this

She needed to make this album - and what it ultimately became after the backlash and breakup - and she needed a beard with Travis' profile to release it without looking infucking sane.

1. I think she had penned some love songs for Matty (Archer, so high school, Florida, fresh out of slammer, etc) and some other songs were in the works.
   
2. After the breakup she edited some to be more Travis / neutral and worked on things like BDILH, smallest man, etc.
   
3. She wanted an album and a stage show that was going to clue Matty and motivate at least moderate listeners to investigate him / 1975 - because once you actually look into it, you realize he's really a cool, sweet, talented guy and not a raging racist.
   
4. She also wanted to give the Swiftys a spanking and tell them they ruined her most desired relationship. And share how much she really loved him, to further sway public opinion and make a reconciliation more possible, as well as take some heat off Matty.
   
5. I think she was also UNconcerned about and perhaps purposely alienating the "Sarah's and Hannah's" and probably hoping if they were put off by an album about loving Matty, suicide, psych wards, etc --- at least they'd be less likely to meddle in the future.
   
6. She didn't need to release this, now. EXCEPT to get the ball rolling on the Matty reconsideration. Like it's off schedule and early for her releasing albums every two years, and she in the middle of a world tour. Like WHY.
   
7. There is no way, if she was single, or dating someone less "perfect for her" - that she could have released this without looking blatantly WILD. I mean, she is still unhinged but much less so - or at least you can argue she's "over it" - because the relationship with Travis is taking some of that heat off and distracting the crazy people.
   
8. I also think it's a risky move, because while many people are coming around to Matty - lots of vocal people are still foaming at the mouth for Tayvis. Time will tell how this plays out. But I don't think the Taylor Swift©️ could have released this album or added this current TTPD eras performance, without first looking like she was solidly "happy and in love" with someone mega "perfect".
   

What are peoples thougths on playstyles at this point?
Personally i think the idea is great but the execution isnt.
Why? Playstyles is more important than stats at this point which to me make alot of cards “useless” e.g R9/Pele etc. Are way behind the power curve
IMO i would suggest instead, playstyles should work like the Takeover in 2K. 1 for offense and another for defence. Where you gain an advantage for x amount of time to put pressure or get withstand it
That way cards dont lose much value and playability
What would u guys do different?

Before I start, I don’t have any malicious intentions towards my stepmom despite of everything but I feel conflicted on what decisions I should make.
My (19F) stepmom (32F) came into my life around 3 years ago. However, she and my dad had been acquainted for a few years prior. My first impression of her was her attempts to home-wreck my dad’s previous relationship with my sister’s mother, this happened on a trip we all made to our home country back in 2019, from that moment I had the feeling she would be bad news. Fast forward a few months, my dad broke things off with his previous wife for unrelated reasons, and as a way to grieve the relationship he was taking many trips to our country, spending astronomical amounts of money, buying cars, building houses, and overall was a financial mess, nonetheless he had a lot of women trying to be with him due to his “money”. Stepmom was aware of this and started pursuing my dad as well. She is a beautiful woman and if we combine that with the fact my dad’s ex-wife had just announced she was pregnant and married someone else, he was making even horrible decisions.
Two weeks into my dad’s and stepmom’s relationship she decided to propose to him and unexpectedly quit her job and made my dad buy her a flight to come back to the states with him. I was 16 and felt heartbroken that my dad took so many life changing decisions without speaking with me first, regardless of this I tried my hardest to make her feel comfortable since from my POV she could make my dad happy again. Fast forward a few days, we found out she was pregnant, although she only had a visitor’s visa she was making all of her doctor’s appointments here and we found out how far along she was. My baby sister was born and I wasn’t home the day of their discharge from the hospital because I had school in the morning and my friend who has lost her dad the day prior asked me to be there for her. This lady threw a whole tantrum at her old age, she was complaining to my dad telling him i’m a horrible person, she would ignore me in the house every time she saw me and would even go as far as telling me to not hold her baby. I’m the type of person who likes to avoid confrontation with those I live with simply to maintain the peace in the household, so I just ignored her antics.
From that moment on, I stopped trying to please her and our relationship became strictly common pleasantries but I noticed she would only do that whenever my dad was around, otherwise I would go back to being ignored in every sense of the word. I became uncomfortable in my own home so I would rarely go out of my room and I started eating at school or at work. She was a stay at home mom and was in charge of all the chores aside from anything related to me such as my room, my laundry, and things of the sort. This absolutely was a problem for her and began complaining once again that I don’t help her around the house and that as a woman it was my responsibility to help with all of the chores. I get that being a new mom can be stressful, but the baby spent Monday to Friday from 9am to 4pm at daycare, and I was a full time high school student with a full time job, I was rarely ever in the house and her demands were pretty unreasonable. After that we became kind of like two roommates who disliked each other, and yet I never mentioned anything to my dad for the sake of his newfound happiness.
I even went as far as to offer her a job at my current company so she could have something to do besides being at home all day long, she only worked like 15hrs a week and would be incredibly demanding, expressing her frustration when she wouldn’t get the easy positions, my coworkers would complain that she would turn a blind eye every time it was her turn to pay gas for the shared rides, and my boss told me she was walking around telling everyone she was only with my dad for papers and that she would leave him the moment she got her way.
Fast-forward 2 months before my baby sister turned 2 years old, my dad found her having an affair with her ex-fiancé, throughout the whole argument my dad was restlessly screaming at her for answers and she remained stone cold, not one tear or sign of remorse. I was the only one crying over the situation. She made the decision to call her affair partner in front of my dad and asked him to pick her up, the guy told her he would call her in minute and proceeded to block her everywhere. My dad was the sole provider therefore he confiscated her phone and threw all of her clothes on the front yard. Going through her phone he found out that she made arrangements to stay with an aunt in NY for a few days, so he gave it back and told her to go on her merry way.
One week after she left my dad received a call from his mother in law begging him to pick my stepmom and sister up and to allow them to come back home since they were uncomfortable with their living situation, and so he did. She only stayed for maybe 2 days before they returned to NY. At this point, she had spent all of her savings in Ubers and was asking her mom for money since she couldn’t ask my dad anymore.
As I stablished before the girl cannot keep her mouth shut. One time she was scheduled to work with my best friend from school, I had also brought him to work with me, she began to ran her mouth telling him that I was disgusting and that I didn’t help her around the house, and many more mean things. The moment she got dropped off home he called and told me everything, this was my last straw. I gave my dad the ultimatum that either she leaves or I would and he told me that he cannot simply throw her out of the house… So I packed my bags and left to stay with my cousin who lives a few houses down. I stayed there for about two weeks until I felt guilty about making my dad worry, especially since he is diabetic and cannot be put under too much stress. I came back home and the next day I noticed both my baby sister’s and stepmom’s toothbrushes were missing and I just assumed she left again. My dad told me she left for NY for a third time but there was no communication for like 2 whole days until a friend of hers called saying she and the baby were there in Atlanta and was asking what was going on. Apparently my stepmom had been telling everyone that my dad and her got separated because he was being abusive to her. My best guess is that she was only coming back and forward to gather any type of evidence she could, but at the end of the day my dad never laid a finger on her, he only ever talked to her aggressively when he found out about her affair.
I honestly thought this was the last we would hear from her but today in my dad’s and hers shared back account he noticed a transaction of immigration fees and lawyers made by her. He is trying to expedite the divorce proceedings because he doesn’t want her using his name to get her green card but our city is incredibly busy and these sort of processes take their time. When he mentioned this to me I brought to his attention that she might be going for the VAWA method by telling immigration authorities she was a victim of abuse. However, that leaves my dad standing as an abuser and we don’t want that either.
My dad is one of the kindest souls ever, he fought for me when I was being physically and mentally abused by my mom, he sends money to our family back home (which is something that bothered her as well), he refused to press charges when she basically kidnapped my baby sister, he refuses to call ICE on her for marriage fraud. I don’t think he deserves this, and I’m no authority on who gets to stay in this country and who doesn’t but I don’t want her to stay her by painting my dad as this abuser he isn’t.
PN: There has been doubt on my baby sister’s legitimacy as my dad’s daughter. My dad confided in me that he was not sure the dates matched up. Later, I found the instagram of my stepmom’s affair partner and I discovered that he was in our home country at the same time as my dad. Also the baby has none of my dad’s features but share eerily similar traits to the affair partner and his kids. I won’t confirm or deny anything since she is an innocent baby in all of this chaos and I love her with all of my heart.
Should I contact immigration services and tell them my side of the story before she discredits my dad?

I’ve never posted before so I’m a little nervous but I’ll get straight into it. For context, I’m just going to explain some things that have happened in my life that have began to lead me to believe that I might fall under the asexual umbrella, no idea where because I’m clueless but potentially somewhere. Firstly, when I was in year 7 (11 years old) I got asked out by a boy and my whole class new, due to this I remembered thinking that I had to say yes so I said yes. We went out for probably two months before decided that I was done with the relationship because he didn’t hold my hand enough, so I broke up with him. It’s probably good to also mention an ongoing “crush” I had on this boy throughout secondary school. At the time I would have said this is a crush but the best way I could describe it was that after being put next to each other in a classroom, we began to speak and he got really friendly with me. I think I latched onto that because I thought we got on really well. So I began to place him in all my day dreams (maladaptive daydreams) and envisioned him asking me out and me liking that. However I feel like this “crush” I thought I had couldn’t be that strong because one time he pranked me and texted me on his friends instagram and asked me out and i randomly just said yes, even though I had never liked his friend. I’ve found that I always tend to say yes to any of these advances even if I have had no prior liking to them, just them asking me out makes me feel something (maybe just validation) but then once in this relationship for a little I just sort of lose them strong feelings I had for these people. I had my next relationship in year 12 (16 years old) where within about a month of knowing this boy he asked me out. I didn’t know what “asking out” really meant so I said that we could date but I don’t want a label on us yet. I then think after another month I said yes to being his girlfriend. I do remember having some feelings at the beginning but they weren’t really strong. I do also remember feeling things in the beginning too, which lead to us moving at ridiculous speeds to do sexual things (I won’t go into what sexual things we did but I will say that we definitely did not have sex) but after we started regularly doing this stuff I found that I began to feel nothing and would almost just wait for it to be over. I remember some of my final dreams before the breakup being of him making sexual advances that were going to lead to sex and me not being very happy with it. We ended up breaking up and it destroyed him because he truly did love me but I didn’t exactly feel that same way (which obviously makes me feel bad but I can’t help the way I feel) we ended up being friends and although he massively struggled with this change in relationship (which I will point out that being friends was his idea so I did not force him to be my friend after the relationship) I found it really great because I found our dynamic as friends much better, and the sexual stuff didn’t really impact this friendship for me because I didn’t feel much when doing it so I guess it didn’t have a massive emotional impact on me? After this relationship I thought it was just the wrong person and maybe I will just find the right person but I’m not so sure anymore. I started dating my current boyfriend in year 13 (17 years old), for the first time I was attracted to him without speaking to him and began to form a crush on him (however, I don’t know if this is relevant but this crush came from a dream that I had about him and then he became a hyper fixation of mine like the “crush” I had in secondary school) he ended up finding out about my crush for him and we began speaking throughout year 12, and throughout these months of talking with him I still had this crush on him so in my head I thought this must be the one for me so I held onto trying to be with him. He eventually asked me out and I obviously said yes. I would say without me realising the pattern began again, I would have these feeling in the beginning where I would want to do everything with him like hug him and kiss him and do sexual things with him and I would maladaptive daydream scenarios where we would have sex or do cute romantic things and when we first did them they decent (not amazing to me but it was what I wanted) but then that feeling I had left again and I’m stuck feeling sick when we do intimate stuff. I know I have come to the conclusion that I don’t like kissing full stop with anyone anymore, I feel trapped and sick when kissing (open or closed mouthed) and although I find it hot to watch or see, I’ve figured that I don’t like it for myself. And it’s not that I don’t love him, I do, I care for him alot and I still think he is attractive I just don’t want to kiss him. This is why I’ve become worried of the sex thing. I am still a virgin but we are planning to have sex. I do want to have sex, so that is not my worry. I think my worry is that I will have it and have it for a while and then it becomes horrible to me to the point that it becomes how I feel about kissing (and pretty much all things sexual now, although strangely romantic or innocent gestures of love like hugging or kissing or placing a hand on my thigh is worse for me at the moment) I have the feeling that it might be the case but I could be wrong, which isn’t a problem for me because I’ve become content with myself no matter what but it just makes me worried on how I’m going to tell my boyfriend if this does become the case. I guess my main query is whether I am under the asexual umbrella because of my lack of feeling for sexual and intimate things during the relationship even though I still love them or whether I’m just not in the right place to discuss this, if I just actually haven’t found the right one yet. I guess I’m just hoping for someone to tell me what could be going on with me :)

Hello guys,
I just reached plat 4 from bronze 2 and finally broke the ceiling after going insane playing Crit Sivir with the so called "best crit builds" that are recommended on the league websites, and I found a solution.
Here is my experience, and it's probably not yours because it is well known that all the players from the League and Sivir subreddit are Diamond 4 minimum, and I'm probably wrong, but hey, you read this far so...
So... Let's start with WHY Sivir?
AA range : The only squishy champ with no dash and a 500 range (kog has the W steroid). ALL the other ADC with that range have some sort of movement abilities (Lucian/Zeri/Akshan/Samira)
Passive : Useless as fuck, anything will outrun you, nobody even knows what the Sivir passive does and for good reason, it's probably one of the worst of the game
W : Good lane cleaner, super mana expensive so you better invest in a Tear for early or be careful to optimize the waveclear
E : Good spell shield but not even the best spellshield out there. Samira is 10 times better (I freaking hate Samira) and a much better champion if you want to deal damage like it's intended
R : Shurelya but worse, at least you have the - 0.5s refresh on AA because otherwise this is a pretty terrible ult.
So you guessed it, the ONLY reason to play her is the Q spell. That thing has a HUGE range BUT it's tricky... You need to land it without touching minions AND back and forth.
Good supp can help you achieve that with CC but remember, you're in low elo so don't count on that too much obv.
This demonstration will explain how we're going to exploit that.
So what should you play?
Runes
Sorcery
Aery : Nobody is playing by the rules, and you can land aery with your W which sound like cheating, but with a champion like that you'll need some. Landing a clean back and forth Q with that rune and you will deal good damage.
ManaFlow band : Mana will be scarce, because Riot wanted to be sure nobody would be playing this champ, so you have to find solutions if you wanna keep spamming Qs into the ennemies.
Celerity : Logical considering every steroid you have is bad movespeed, at least with that you get a little bit more.
Scorch or Gathering Storm : This one depends on the meta... Korean challenger are playing Scorch to optimize the damage from Q, but I feel like the gathering storm is great in long games.
Inspiration
Magical Footwear : Again, speed has to be optimize or any toplaner with outrun you.
Biscuit Delivery : I was wondering why this rune was so important and oh boy, when you need to last hit and your nautilus support is 10 miles behind you and you take an awful amount of poke, this is a lifeline.
Shards
Attack Speed/AD/Bonus health, this one is pretty standard.
Summs : Take Flash/TP, not Ghost (your range is too short for kiting without a support). TP allows you to keep a consistent farm, go top to push the lane of your afk/typing 0/9 Yasuo top, and TP back to push your lane given up by your roaming 0/5 support. Other options are for duelist (see my point in the Build section)
Build
Alright, this is where I'm not going to make any friend.
SIVIR IS NOT A DUELIST. She never will be. Maybe if you get super fed you can compete but you'll never outdamage a Vayne/Twitch/Draven, this is not possible.
SO BUILDING CRIT AS A MAIN SOURCE OF DAMAGE WILL NEVER GET YOU ANYWHERE. At least in low elo without a duo. It's straight up impossible.
So my recommended build is... LETHALITY SIVIR.
Take Youmuu's blade first item. I swear I'm not kidding. This item is insanely worth it. You have perma out of combat ms/Active 6 second 15% ms (not decaying like your useless passive) boosted by the celerity rune (go back to lane faster, so more farm, better map presence). The lethality is great to poke bot, great damage, the ONLY issue is the lack of crit, but Riot hates crit so there is that.
Second item : AS boots, as usual nothing fancy here.
Third item: Take the Collector (Lethality AND Crit ? Sign me up!). Great passive as well to finish off opponent. Remember that your team will never let you any kills in low elo, so you have to get everything you can to land the final blow.
Fourth item is Black Cleaver, again a broken interaction, since you can apply the armor debuff with the bouncing W, you get the MS, the health to tank a bit for assassins, an overall great item for Sivir.
This is your CORE BUILD : meaning this will allow you to stand a chance against the fed enemy team, because you will be able to output damage BEFORE they had the occasion of landing everything they have to gapclose you.
You will be able to farm so much more than relying on a support to put you safe during the laning phase. (Youmuu and collector lethality will insta clear waves, even if your support afk, you will be able to give a hard time to the enemy botlane)
Since you're not relying on crit, the rest of the build can be adapted, depending on the enemy comp. Usually IE/Malmortius/RFC or PD/GA then selling boots for a final item if necessary.
Don't forget that Sivir is a LATE GAME beast, you should farm as much as possible, so when you reach late and get some kills, you'll probably need to transition to crit (since lethality falls off late), but this is not the case in most of the games decided by the 20 minutes mark.
TLDR : Don't play Sivir Crit in low elo. (ok maybe for patch 14.10 all of this will become irrelevant)
Thank you for reading through this, maybe this will convince some players to try her out, because she really feels awful with a standard build rn.
OP7

Hey breakups, to cut a long story short, my (19m) ex girlfriend (18f) have been in an on and off relationship situation since last September.
Essentially it was in phases, first she thought she just loved me but “wasn’t in-love with me anymore”
Then she wanted to be together but thought she was too bad for me because apparently she’s a bad person, and then she blocked me and dated another guy to try to fill the void, then she came back again (because she did it multiple times over the last like 8 months) and wanted to make it work.
Then it turns out shes been talking to an entirely third guy this entire time, and they were in a will-they wont-they situation. But she told me after I found out that she didnt love him, he didnt love her, just another void fill I guess?
But now, after this cycle of hell and a plethora of excuses, breaking my heart just to mend it again week after week, we finally ended things for good.
After all of this, I flat out told her to choose me or the new guy, snd she chose him.
So thats it. 3, now almost 4 years of history thrown away. But it’s her choice, and there is nothing that can be done.
I feel so free, and so utterly destroyed to my core at the same time. Its hard to breathe, and I cant sleep, and I hate everything that happened to us. I hate what happened to the girl that said we would be together forever.
I dont know where im going woth this, but i guess now I have tot ctually start trying to move on. Im done fighting for someone who doesnt want me from the bottom of their heart, or is unsure if I m what is right for them.
I hate her and I love her at the same time. But I’m done. She cant put me first, and that is everythung I need to know.

Or rather, in a dedicated repost, because silly me couldn't read the pinned post and wait a few hours before posting my text the first time.
​
After giving a proper rewrite to Ayano, it's now time to do the same for her love interest. But first, I must give my apologises. The title of my post is "Reworking Taro", but it's actually misleading because there was barely any work to redo to begin with. Ok, there was the easy jab at the original character. Reading my previous rewrite posts isn't necessary to understand this one, but would allow you to grasp the differences with the official game better. If you're too lazy to do so, just keep in mind that my rewrite is a bit more social-focused. Anyway, here's my full-fledged take on our senpai.

Just an ordinary upperclassman: Daiki Tanaka (田中 大樹)

Although Taro Yamada is a perfectly valid Japanese name, it's literally the Japanese equivalent of John Doe. This name just gives me the impression that nothing really matters about him, and that it isn't even worth the effort thinking about a proper name. That might have been the dev's intention, given Taro's characterisation in the game, but I personally can't consider being so lazy about the second most important character. So, rather than keeping this name that makes Senpai seem like some background character, I chose names that actually are very common in Japan in order to keep the "average guy" feeling. The most common Japanese surname is Sato (佐藤), but that sounded a bit too generic for me, so I opted for Tanaka (田中), another widespread name that you might already have seen in some anime. Surprisingly, despite also being common, Yamada (山田) doesn't even come close. For his first name, "Daiki" (written like this: 大樹) means "big tree". It's a fairly popular boy name during the last decades and doesn't refer to anything particular, except maybe the fact that he is a big brother.
Just like many other mediocre harem MC, the main problem with Taro is that he is extremely bland. There's literally nothing worth noticing about him. Now don't get me wrong, making one of your main characters an Average Joe isn't a bad thing in itself, and I know that a yandere having a crush on ordinary people is nothing uncommon in modern Japanese media. However, even the most boringly average person that you can think of still has defined personality, goals, and passions that makes them at least more interesting than a slice of stale bread. In our case, you could replace Taro with a random object and the story would still make as much sense, which usually isn't a good sign for a story meant to have a serious tone. Just like my name choice suggested it, I wanted my version of Taro to stay ordinary. However, I tried to flesh out the little characterization he originally has to make him stand out in his own way, so that the numerous girls' interest in him would feel a bit less unbelievable.
This is Daiki Tanaka, a 17-years old Japanese boy living with his parents and his little sister. Like many other Japanese high-schoolers, he goes to high school from Monday to Friday, attends classes, studies for his tests, and hopes he will be accepted in a good university. And just like many other teenagers, he is is having interrogations about what he wants to do after graduation, how his classmates view him, and whether he'll find himself a girlfriend. Clearly, he's just an average student. Among the typical students you can find in a school, Daiki is a hard-working one. Pressured both by his parents and himself to get the best opportunities he can to settle his future, he is self-conscious about his academic performances and is always trying to improve his grades. Thus, he preferred to remain clubless and spend his free time alone to focus on his studies. Most of the time, he is seen studying at the school library, or reading a book of classic literature next to the fountain. But behind this ordinary reserved bookworm loner appearance is a kind and cultivated boy with a strong sense of justice and a clear passion for the old texts he's reading, making him actually quite a charming person to spend time with for those who can see past his plain exterior. Ayano, of course, is one of those few people, but little did she know that she won't be the only one interested in her dear senpai.

Gameplay role

According to the wiki:

Gameplay-wise, Taro is more similar to a "moving obstacle" rather than a regular interactive student, as he cannot be interacted with normally.

And you see, to me, that's a big problem. You spend the entire game keeping rivals away from Senpai by killing them, making them uninterested in him, or ruining their reputation, and after all the bad experiences he had with those (rather) normal girls, you expect me to believe that the girl Senpai, the perfectly normal guy at all levels, ends up choosing is the creepy lonely student that he has barely spoken to? Nah, I don't buy it. This is why, in my rewrite, my Senpai would be (most of the time) considered as a regular student that you can actually interact with. That means, first, that Ayano wouldn’t get immediately flustered by him when approaching him. I understand that people, especially teenagers, can act shy, nervous, or a little clumsy when their crush are at sight, but seriously, the depiction of this behaviour in the game is completely ridiculous. So, in my hypothetical game, you will have a small amount of time where you will be able to act normally near Daiki and talk to him before your heart starts beating louder and the screen gradually turns pink. Past this point, things pretty much happen the same as in the official game, since Ayano is emotionally unstable. Naturally, the more you interact with Daiki, the longer you will be able to remain calm in his presence.
Now that Senpai can be interacted with, it’s time to explore the potential of this addition by giving him another feature regular students have: tasks. Even if you can withstand his aura a bit better than in the official game, most of the conversations you’ll have with him won’t be long due to Ayano’s shyness. So, if you want to befriend Daiki, those little errands are the key to increase your affinity with him. For a more immersive narration, Daiki's tasks won't be your usual fetch quests that you can accept or refuse, but small talk where you must pay attention and figure out what to do to by yourself. The tasks will be at first very simple, like bringing him his schoolbag that he forgot in his classroom or gifting him the book he wanted to buy. Then, as he feels more comfortable around you, he will start talking a bit more openly about his life and his preoccupations, naturally leading to more complex tasks with more vague formulations and less obvious solutions, such as helping him become less invisible among his classmates. What would be the point of doing all that, will you ask? Having a higher affinity with Daiki will allow Ayano to make him follow her if you need to tactically move him for one of your eliminations. He will also be more likely to reject the rivals’ love confessions in case you don’t have the time to deal with them yourself. Moreover, narrative-wise, I think having the main character interact with their love interest would be a more realistic and healthier depiction of romance in the story. Well, as “healthy” as a yandere can be. But of course, you could also completely ignore this mechanic and focus on eliminating if you want to.
Finally, I would like to improve the reactions he has regarding students' disappearances. Despite all those things happening near him, he is shocked for a bit and then just kinda... accept it like nothing strange happened? The second most important character of the game, ladies and gentlemen. I get it, Senpai is a loner, he is passive, and he is dense. But at this point, that's not being passive anymore, that's being a wooden plank. So, this is my take: Daiki's sense of justice and passion for literature gave him a natural curiosity for crimes because of its depiction in novels. When facing murder, he will mostly act according to the loner archetype. However, if too many deaths or disappearances near him stay unresolved by the police and his sanity is high enough, he will find the courage to take a more active role and investigate on the crimes himself. Obviously, Daiki won't be able to arrest anyone by himself, but he has the advantage of being directly at the crime place and closer to the people at school than the police. Thus, he could report them additional details that they might have missed, like a student acting stranger than usual, missing tools or places cleaner than usual. This could put you in trouble unless you cover your tracks very well, or just prevent him from investigating. And of course, I would also implement Senpai's sanity meter that has been promised for I don't know how much time (but honestly, are you still hoping for it to be implemented after all that happened?), although slightly reworked. Daiki's sanity would decrease with any person dying. The closer the person is to him, both physically and figuratively, the lower it would drop. The deaths that would affect him the most would thus be those of his sister, his childhood friend, or anyone murdered right in front of him. On the opposite, a random student dying at the other side of the school would barely have any effect. A low sanity would have various effects on Daiki depending on its value and the amount of time he has spent with the other students. Those effects could be taking private lessons due to his grades dropping, joining a certain club to feel safer, or shutting himself in at home in one of the worst scenarios. In any case, this would affect his routine. Just like in the official concept, he would be able to recover sanity with a long enough crimeless period or giving him gifts. Only now would the rivals also be able to use the later method to gain affection, making them act a bit more like romantic rivals. I hope you don't mind actually caring about your senpai's mental health.

Relationships with other characters

The rivals
Obviously, a reworked senpai means reworked dynamics with your main targets. Since detailing everything would be way too long for a single post, I'll just link here my take on the romantic rivals that I decided to keep in my hypothetical game, and here, what I'd do with the discarded ones. Since they are Daiki's closest people, and the most likely to affect his mood in the game, I'll still put here what I have in mind for my version of Osana and Hanako.
His sister
Just like his canon counterpart, Daiki loves his sister very much. A feeling that is reciprocated a bit too much. Unlike her brother who has a balanced lifestyle, the middle-schooler is a very clingy girl who can't imagine being away from him. She has the bad habit of leaving her school during lunchtime just to visit him, which greatly embarrasses Daiki. Even if he appreciates the time they spend together in the end, he knows that this behaviour is unhealthy, and hope that, one day, his sister will find the confidence to become more independent. In my rewrite, the little sister isn't a romantic rival, but someone that I'd call a "big obstacle", as her role is mainly to appear at random (or maybe not, I haven't decided yet) days during lunchtime and potentially mess up your planification for the day. You wouldn't want to kill someone in front of your crush's beloved sister, right?
His childhood friend
Daiki and his sister have known their neighbours' daughter for more than a decade. All three of them used to play together during their childhood. The neighbours' daughter is a brash and impulsive girl, whose personality clashes with Daiki's quieter nature. Despite frequently being at odds and arguing about trivial things, both of them deeply care about each other and would be the first person to help the other if they were having problems. Daiki and his friend didn't have many occasions to see each other since elementary school, until the girl coincidentally transferred to the same high school as him. Even if he is now more serious and reserved than before, deep inside, he is still the same kind boy that she knew. Now that they can once again spend much time together, the girl has come to realize she was in love with her dear friend, but her internal turmoil and her personality make it difficult for her to act sincere and confess her feelings. She stays otherwise pretty similar to Osana, except for the greater consequences when dealing with her by using lethal eliminations, and maybe the fact that she won't be the first rival to appear.
Budo (or whatever name I'll end up giving him)
Yes, you read it right. That guy that overshadows Senpai among the fans is one of his friends in my rewrite. Because even the most introverted individuals are able to develop relationships with people that aren't potential romantic interests. The leader of the martial arts club is an outgoing action-oriented boy who is pretty popular at school. Unlike Daiki, Budo always knew in his heart that his place would be in a dojo, and thus doesn't have much interest in academics. But despite having such different backgrounds and personalities, both boys share the same sense of justice and admiration toward heroes. When he's not attending classes, studying or reading, Daiki hangs out with Budo, and is sometimes invited to watch the martial arts club members practicing. If too many dangerous events happen around Daiki, Budo, as an aspiring hero and good friend, will propose to escort him at certain periods, becoming basically a part-time bodyguard.
Ayano
Nothing much to say here. Daiki unknowingly reminded Ayano, who has locked her heart for years, how great it is to have feelings when they first met, and now she wants to make sure nothing stands between them. How she will reach her ends is your decision. If she decides to spend time with him and do his tasks, he will think of her as a peculiar, but well-intentioned girl. Just like in canon, Daiki is oblivious to Ayano's feelings, but it's more due to the fact that they barely know each other.

Trivia

• Regarding his career choice, Daiki is hesitating between becoming an author, a lawyer or a criminologist.
• Like Taro, he also likes nature and gardening, but to a lesser extend.
• Sometimes, instead of a book of classic literature, you can see him reading the latest crime novel at the fountain. With a pen and a writing pad, because he's just that invested.
• Since he is friend with Budo, he sometimes feels too plain and boring compared to him regarding romance. If you use matchmaking to eliminate a rival, his self-consciousness will grow a bit stronger.
• He has never bought a panty shot from Info-chan, but honestly, do you really find this surprising, or even relevant? He has never even contacted Info-chan.
• I had quite the choice among popular Japanese boy names. Daiki could've been named "Yamato", "Daisuke", "Hiroto", "Yuto", "Yuu", or even "Satoshi" instead.
• In the official game, if Ayano commits a crime in his sight while wearing a mask, Taro will rip the mask off her face with no regard for his safety or his character consistency. I would like to get rid of this behaviour for Daiki, except for one specific circumstance.

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And that was my full-fledged take on Taro. When you have an ordinary person as a character in the middle of very colourful ones, the key to make the public care about him is to give them tangible preoccupations that, even if they aren't always relatable, make this character at least feel like a real person with human struggles and dreams, and not just a barebone plot device. And that might seems obvious, but if you have to write a love interest, make sure you actually show your public what your main character likes about him. That's even more important in the case where many people are attracted to this character. I tried to take those two things into account when rewriting Taro, and I know it's far from perfect, so don't hesitate to tell me what I should improve. In any case, if you made it to the end, thank you for taking the time to read this long post. I hope I'll find the motivation to do the same with other characters.

To preface this, i had the traditional duodenal switch on 3/27/24 at Orlando health with Dr. T. Surgery date- i was at 395. A week after i was 382. A week after that i was 366. This was around 4/13. I stayed fluctuating a this weight for over a week so to put my mind at ease, i stopped weighing myself until today. Just got done mentally breaking down.
374… the scale said 374. I know about stalls, I know about the weight fluctuating maybe by a couple of pounds here and there but almost 10 pounds? I’ve seen articles of people saying that they’re gaining weight on this journey and I would always think to myself “ yeah they’re definitely not doing something right? Because how do you gain weight after getting weight loss surgery?”-—and yet here i am.
And before you say, you should reach out to your care team/doctor, I definitely did just now. I just have to wait for a response within 48 hours unfortunately.
Literally can’t make sense of this. Last week was the first full week in which I was getting my minimum of 80 g of protein daily. As for many of us, eating is in chore now so for a while I was not getting the required nutrients needed for this lifestyle. With this being the most aggressive form of weight loss surgery due to the malabsorption, how is this possible? My carbs are at a minimum that my plan allows, no sugar, no liquid calories unless it’s a protein shake. I’m finally hitting my 64 ounces of liquid a day. I wouldn’t say that I’m extremely active and lifting weights every single day, but I do go for a walk.
With this procedure causing one to naturally go on extreme calorie deficit and not absorb much of the nutrients from the food on top of that, is this normal at all? Did the surgery just somehow not work for me? Has this ever happened to anyone else? I’ve read every single article on here about stalling because my mind is literally racing so terribly. I used to struggle with ED really bad so now all I wanna do is just not eat anything but I know that’s counterproductive in many ways.
If anyone who has gone through this or knows anyone who’s gone through this can just share their stories, advice, or anything pertaining to this topic while I wait for my doctor to get back to me. I would greatly appreciate it.