How a manger can farewell an employee leaving

Delta Air Lines

2011.02.27 18:05 achille Delta Air Lines

Use your upvote/downvotes; spammers will be banned.
[link]


2009.06.10 18:00 daydreamer55 Chipotle Mexican Grill

Welcome to our community, a place where customers and employees can share their appreciation and experiences at Chipotle Mexican Grill on this unofficial fan forum.
[link]


2012.10.04 16:31 zubrin The Simpsons Tapped Out

This is a community for discussing items related to The Simpsons: Tapped Out mobile game.
[link]


2024.05.14 18:57 Sweetandkindhearted IATA for getting back at a Kevin

I (33F) worked at a hotel from the age of 19 and fell in love with the industry. Because of this I got an associate degree in hospitality management and within 5 years found myself as a Director of Sales (DOS). I was really good at my job; so good, in fact, that we were able to get government employees to stay with us paying the difference out of their own pocket. For context –
Government rate was $89.00, guests would pay $109.99.
Please note that hotels are allowed to limit the amount of government rate rooms they give out and are not required to provide the government rate all the time.
My hotel was a sizable, profitable, and specialized hotel that was a magnet for businesses and government employees alike. And during this time there was a huge government event happening in town. My hotel was visited by many different government group leaders asking for the government rate and one leader agreed to sign a contract for the $109.99 rate, we’ll call this leader Jim.
Jim and I got along wonderfully; he was grateful to stay at my hotel and so was the rest of his team… well, all but one.
This one, a male in his late 50s maybe early 60s came to the front desk one day to inquire about getting a room for the time of the event. The conversation went through the normal ringers of the guest attempting to negotiate the rate and my front desk agent (FDA) responding she couldn’t do it and the rate was $109.99. This man, “Kevin”, began to bark orders at the FDA who stood there taking it until she couldn’t anymore. “I’ll get my manager” was her final response to him before she came to me.
My office was nearby, and I heard the whole thing. She came into my office and took some deep breathes. “FDA, please sit down, have some water and I’ll take care of this.” I made sure she could collect herself before I went out to greet him and here’s the conversation that happened.
Me: Hello sir, you had a question about our rates?
Kevin: Yes, I’m with Jim’s group, my name is Kevin McKevinstian and we have a negotiated rate here.
Me: Yes! Jim agreed to the $109.99 rate, when would you like your reservation to begin.
Kevin: That’s not the government rate, the government rate is $89, and we can only get refunded $89.
Me: I understand but we aren’t offering the government rate, we are offering the negotiated rate of $109.99 or the standard rate of $209.99.
Kevin: But the government rate is $89.
Me: Yes, I’m aware but we aren’t offering it, would you like the rate of $109.99.
Kevin: This is not a smart business move, you should be giving all your hotel rooms for the government rate and filling up your hotel.
Me: While I appreciate your advice, that’s not the direction we’re taking.
Kevin – seeing my nametag as “DOS”: Do you have a degree?
Me, a bit shocked: Yes, I do, my degree is in hospitality management.
Kevin: What level is your degree?
Me: I don’t believe that’s any of your concern. Now would you like this room at the $109.99 rate?
Kevin: No, you should give it to me at the $89. It’s a better business practice to open all your rooms for the $89 so you can fill your hotel. You need to go back to school and study business. The hotel will not be financially successful if you don’t take the government employees at the government base. It’s bad business.
Me: I won’t be doing that at this moment, and I will not be providing any rooms at the government rate. Would you like this room at the $109.99? We only have a limited amount of these rooms, so I suggest you make that choice now.
Kevin: No, I will take my business elsewhere and you need to go back to school.
And he leaves.
After taking a few deep breathes I returned to my office to be praised by my FDA only to be laser focused on my desk. I flicked open my email and started a new email that said something to the extent of this –
“Hi Jim,
Hopefully you’re well. I need to inform you of an interaction I just had with one of your employees. (insert above interaction summary, not done for word count guidelines). Upon his exit I’m here to email you in case he comes to you with his version of the story. I do not wish to harm our working relationship together, but I was stunned enough by this interaction that I felt you needed to know.
Thank you and have an amazing day.”
About 10 minutes later, Jim emailed me back apologizing profusely for the attitude of his employee and assured me he would handle it from here. I heard a few days later that Kevin went and stayed at another hotel for the government rate and was fired from his position because his mistreatment of many staff members from both the committees he was working with and those hotel staff members. Jim brought me apology cookies which I shared with my FDA as she took a lot of the crap from Kevin, and we all lived happily ever after… except for Kevin who lost his job. Oh well.
submitted by Sweetandkindhearted to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:57 crudedrawer Vegas Vibes Check.

So this is for frequent tourists and and I would love to hear from resort employees. I'm curious if anyone else feels that the "vibes" (an indefinable but often palpable general feeling in crowds) have gotten worse in the tourist areas over the last several years.
My take is that American life is such a pain in the ass for so many people (shitty job! traffic! credit card debt! scams everywhere! Politics!) that people want to escape the real world when they go to vegas - but vegas has become the apotheosis of The Real World. Coming to vegas isn't an escape, it's turning America up to 11.
In my mind people want to come to Vegas to let loose and forget their problems. They arrive (flight likely delayed) and get in their first line to get an uber. then the line at check in (no one told them about self). then the prices of everything sinks in. then the fees. and the gambling isn't fun like on tv and the cocktail waitress never came around to the $25 craps table. then dinner costs a fucking mint. then the crowds. The fucking crowds. Then walking around and it's obvious scammers everywhere. and the next day you want to go to the pool but it's bloodsport to get a lounger in the shade, or get one at all. Or you can PAY to sit by the pool. Or you can pay to use the spa. And then you can stand in some more lines for the "are you kidding me, i thought food here was supposed to be cheap!" $90 buffet and then you go down town where the menace in the air is palpable as everyone is strutting around looking for an excuse to get in someone's face because they're pissed off about the fact that they have to be at work in 48 hours and they blew their gambling wad and that guy looks like he votes different from them and fuck that guy for that and on and on and on and on...
Keep in mind this is not my personal experience. I've been to LV countless times and know how to avoid most of the big inconveniences and shitty upcharges and I know very specifically what to expect. I don't even fuck with the pools. I'm talking about the average "flew in for the weekend" type of visitor. And I'm not saying I don't see people having fun in Vegas anymore, that would be ridiculous, lots of people are having fun - but more and more I sense that people are bringing their misery, anger and paranoia to Vegas and Vegas amplifies it and I can literally feel it emanating off of them.
Sorry this is so long winded, I've been thinking about this a lot and I have two hours of nothing to do at work this morning and I wanted to use specific language so people know what I'm talking about.
submitted by crudedrawer to LasVegas [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:56 RoughCod6563 Revlout is careless

I have been scammed out of 200£ An agent house called Dawn Hennessy works in Guest room Stansted airport. As soon as I paid her 200£ to reserve the room, I found out no room was available and she blocked me when asking for refund. I filed a police report no such answers. I filed a fraud report since the transaction was done using Revlout. On 28th I filed the report, on 28th I got the result 4 hours of investigation. The result says, sorry we cannot reimburse you on this occasion after 5 months I filed another report which says we tried to collect the funds from the bank which you sent money too but it was already gone! Now I have a question for Revlout when I filed a report about fraud, it seems a lazy employees didn't take it seriously as they say we can reimburse you, why??? Second report on 12th May, they say we asked the bank you sent money to to take it back and send to you but it was empty. Now answer one simple question on 28 December How can the money leave bank in a single day????!!!!!!! Revlout is a complete joke!
submitted by RoughCod6563 to Revolut [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:54 Icexred10_ Rewriting Sinbad Saga part 1

(I’m following my swashbuckler main. Somethings are different but I stick mostly to the main storyline. And yes there will be several different, truthful idk how long this will be)
Dear Luna,
I wanted to update you on how everything is going in Mooshu and the restoration. The emperor had woken up because of some wizard, so me and Subodai have been helping him catch up on what's been happening. It’s been an interesting couple of months if i have to say so. I do miss everyone, but we all did agree on these assignments but do hope we can come together again soon. Sincerely, Sarah 
Luna read the note by Sarah, one of her closest friends and crew members. She, like everyone on the crew, felt the same way about being separated, but all understood the purpose of this separation. Bonnie and Jack went to Marleybone; Sarah, Monkey King, and Subodai went to Mooshu; Herself, El toro and Sally stayed within skull island with the couple bouncing back and forth to Cool Ranch. The rest of the crew spread across the spiral helping with the reconstruction after the armada.
Signing, Luna leaned back in her seat and looked towards the pictures she had on her desk. One was the picture of Marco Pollo’s crew that they found in Captain Blood's cave. Another was of her friends back in Grizzleheim, and the last one was of her, Sarah, Subodai, Jack and Bonnie. Picking up the photo she started to remember when it was taken.
(Flashback)
“You guys can’t possibly think that can be an okay thing to do to him, right.”
Luna with her small crew sat in the cellar of the tavern in skull island. It was only a few after they saved Ratbeard from the water moles. A decision that has caused some of her crew (particularly Sarah and Subodai) to grow creative threats towards him. The most recent one was to take a very brutal excitation method from her homeworld and use it on him. Granted they probably only saw it within books, she still didn't understand how they thought it would be ok.
“Even still, he needs to know we won't be putting up with him, especially after what he did to his own crew. I mean killing them just to have everything to himself. That could've been me in there if he hadn't taken the will when he did.”
Sarah was right afterall, she could have been a part of that. Looking around the crew nodded in agreement to what she had said. Shaking her head Luna decided to drop the subject. Turning to Jack this was the first time in hours that she was able to find out about who her parents truly were.
“Hey Jack? Can you possibly tell me what my parents were like? Your guys travels? Anything really.”
Her voice came out more meek than she had liked, making her sound like a child that was asking permission for something. Bonnie and Sarah turned their full attention to Jack, while Subodai leaned back and closed his eyes. She could tell if he was doing it to be able to envision what Jack was saying or if he just didn't care too much (she asked him a month after this, it was to envision it). Jack turned to her with a smile, took a swig of his yum and leaned back.
“I don't even know where to start for you. I joined the crew when I was around 20 (I like to think our parents were in their mid 20’s when they had us) and your parents were about 22. I grew up with your father in Marleybone. He was always headstrong, knew what he wanted, but was always willing to help others. When we were around 16 that's when we first met your mother. It was shortly after she left darkmoor and all three of us just clicked together. After we hit 18 your mother went off on her own for about four months, and came back as a different person. I don't know what she did, where she went or what happened. However, that's when your parents decided to create a crew. We knew people who wanted to leave, and who had the experience. At the time I wasn't ready, so I told them to give me about a year and to come back to get me.”
Jack took a break for a second to take a drink and eat some food. Looking around, Sarah and Bonnie were so interested they ended up leaning on their arms to be comfortable. Honestly Luna was also in that position. Subodai was in the same position but with a small smile.
“I can’t tell you how many places we’ve gone to. We went to Grizzleheim to see Siv, Cool Ranch, Mooshu, Zafara which was actually really nice, and Krokotopia for a short time. I do remember that Jenny wrote journals for every world we've gone to. If we are able to find them then you'll be able to learn more about them personally then I do.”
Luna knew about her mother’s journals, Siv would talk about them consistently but she never knew where she put them. At that point Ratbeard came down into the Cellar holding a camera with a goofy smile.
“Where in the world did you get that thing?”
Bonnie asked him, having an idea of his answer.
“I stole it. Hey, don't give me that look, we're pirates. We steal, that's what we do for a living. Now, get together so I can mess with this thing.”
Looking at each other the five of us leaned in for him to take a picture of us. Held it up to his face, counted, then there was a flash. Within seconds was the picture of the five of them huddled together smiling.
(End of flashback)
The memory slowly faded as she held the picture within her hands. Back then it wasn't as stressful as it is now. The crew was small meaning she only had to worry about a handful of people, we didn't know about the armada, they didn't have as many enemies. However, now they have to worry about the people who are after them simply because of the map pieces.
A knock on the door disrupted her thoughts.
“Captain, something came up and I think you should hear this personally. Me and Toro will be waiting by the schools next to the person that needs to talk to you.”
“Thank you Sally, I’ll be there shortly.”
Luna set the picture back on her desk, opened up the top drawer of the desk and put Sarah’s recent letter in it. Smiling at the amount that she had and remembering everyone she slowly closed it. Getting up she grabbed her weapons, put on her coat and hat, and headed out to where her two crew members were waiting.
submitted by Icexred10_ to Pirate101 [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:53 worldwideweasel1216 Help: Tech Sales Intern

I will be starting a sales and marketing internship at an early-stage startup (<5 employees) for the summer next week. I will be the only sales rep working directly with the founder and will have access to advice from sales leaders at other orgs.
I have minimal sales experience but I am a good listener and speaker and a quick learner. Could you guys give me any tips and advice about how I can succeed at this internship? Any sales tips (re setting meetings, cold calling and emailing) and general career advice is welcome!
Thanks :)
submitted by worldwideweasel1216 to techsales [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:53 Fast-Crow136 Indoor Olive Tree

Indoor Olive Tree
I hope you can help me out! I got an olive tree about 6-8 weeks ago. I planted it in a large pot with the recommended soil for Mediterranean plants. I have drainage in the bottom. I live in an apartment which is why it is an indoor plant. This last week it has been dropping leaves like crazy. The first picture is 2 weeks ago where it is way fuller and the rest are from today. However at the same time I notice a lot of sprouts and new growth which leads me to my question: how come the “old” leaves are dropping? Because of all the sprouts it doesn’t look like it’s dying? How can I best take care of it? I water it when dry and am very careful not to over water it. The tree is in a bay window and receives direct sunlight approximately 6 hours a day, and indirect sunlight for the remaining 3-4 hours.
submitted by Fast-Crow136 to plantclinic [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:53 NotHarveyKeitel Should I let this construction company file a Mechanic's Lien on my house?

I'm in Minnesota. There was damage to our house from a hail storm last August. We were solicited by a construction company to fix the damage, where they would work with our insurance company and the only thing we would have to pay is our deductible. The damage was: roof, windows, interior damage from leaking, garage door, gutters.
When the construction company/general contractor (GC) got into it, they said that there was more damage to the roof and windows than our insurance company (IC) was providing funds for. The GC and IC couldn't come to an agreement, so our GC told us that it would need to go to appraisal. The GC provided us with the appraiser they use in these situations and told us everything we should communicate to our IC. We made sure to get a supplement to our contract with the GC to ensure we would not have to pay for the appraiser. An award was given from that appraisal and the GC seemed happy with the result.
The GC then scheduled a subcontractor to do the work on the interior damage (drywall/etc.). When that subcontractor came, he said there was much more damage than what was provided in the scope of the claim, about $3,000, so he went back and worked out a new estimate/invoice with the GC, about $10,000, and then the GC and I went to our IC to get an addendum to the claim. Our IC refused, saying they wouldn't allow any addendums. The GC said this was odd since it's fairly standard to get addendums when additional damage is found. The GC suggested I talk with my IC agent to see if he could help.
I did that, and my agent seemed confident that an addendum would be possible and he went off to talk to the claims department. When he finally came back, he said he was previously confident because he didn't realize an appraisal was done, and that since the appraisal was done everything awarded in it was now set in stone. Since only $3,000 was awarded in the appraisal for the interior work, that's what we have to work with.
Our GC has now sent us an invoice for the balance due for work completed (roof and windows), but I explained if we paid them that invoice in full ($33,000) we would not have enough money to fix the interior damage (we only have $38,000 left from the claim money). He said that doesn't matter, you need to pay for work we've completed. We offered to put the money that's supposed to go towards the garage door and gutter replacements towards the interior work since the former is only superficial dings/etc and that the interior damage is more important to get fixed. They also talked to the drywall subcontractor and he was willing to come down too, but we were still $3,000 apart.
I asked why we were expected to pay for this out of pocket when we were only supposed to have to pay our deductible, and the GC said it's not their fault the appraiser didn't come on site to inspect the interior damage. I said it was the GC that said to do an appraisal and to use this appraiser, and we were never asked to coordinate anything so it should fall to the GC to make sure that happens. The documents the GC sent us from the appraiser also states the GC should be onsite with the appraiser when the appraisal happens. The appraisal also awarded some Overhead and Profit, and I suggested the $3,000 that we're apart should come from that since it was a failure in coordination which what Overhead is supposed to be. The GC said there was no O&P awarded in the appraisal, so I screenshotted where the appraisal award states that, and he replied he's not going to argue with me anymore about it, and that we need to pay for work done or "next steps" will be taken.
The only recourse the GC has suggested for us is to file a claim with the state commissioner. Our IC agent was skeptical this would do anything since everything the IC has done is above board.
The Payment Terms in our contract says that we need to pay them the initial insurance check plus the deductible upon delivery of materials, and then the balance is due upon completion of the work. I replied to their invoice email saying that work has not been completed since there's still the interior, garage door, and gutter work that is not done yet. They said they only invoiced for work they've done (true), and that they don't do everything listed on the claim, that they are an exterior construction company that does roof and window work, and don't do that other work. They work with our IC to get monies for us to so we can have that work done. That we need to pay the invoice for work done or penalties, interest, and liens will be issued.
I said their contract says that they will fix all damages laid out in the insurance claim, quoting back their contract to them that says:
"By signing this contract, you authorize [GC] to discuss the damage to your real property with your insurance company for the purpose of coming to an agreement on project scope and price. Upon agreement by [GC] to the scope and price as defined on the insurance loss statement provided by your insurance company, you authorize [GC] to complete the replacement of said damaged property with ~no additional cost to you except for the insurance deductible,~ subject to terms and conditions on the reverse side. Payments will be made as outlined above.
ADDITIONAL TERMS - Page 2
  1. Performance Guidelines. Contractor agrees to complete the Work set forth in this Contract in accordance with manufacturers' specifications for installation of all materials and all applicable construction codes. You acknowledge receipt before signing this Contract of these Performance Guidelines as required by Minnesota Statute 326B.809(b)."
I have not gotten a reply back from them after I sent that on Friday. Today is Tuesday.
I spoke with the appraiser and asked why an onsite inspection wasn't done so the interior damage could have been inspected and a appropriate award given for the damage. He said that even if the appraisal was done onsite, he would not have been able to award any more money than the $3,000 because the bid the GC put in for the appraisal only had $3,000 for the inside work. He's legally not able to award more than that bid the GC gave him.
So to me, it sounds like the GC made the mistake of asking for an appraisal without first getting an accurate estimate of the inside work, and because of that, we are stuck with only $3,000 for the inside work when it'll cost $10,000 to complete.
The contract says that we can pay contractors to complete work and deduct that cost from the contract price. The email from them discussing the invoice also says as much, that we can use the claim money to get the work done ourselves.
So I was thinking about saying we will do the rest of the work ourselves, and subtracting from the contract price ($85,000 that was awarded in the appraisal) the garage and gutter work that's in the claim, plus the interior estimate that the GC worked out with the subcontractor ($10,000), leaving a balance of $25,000 instead of the $33,000 they invoiced for. I'd send this check in the mail and consider the project with them complete.
I assume they'll file a Mechanic's Lien after that and will have to sue us in civil court to enforce it, and after researching it looks like I don't need an attorney in Conciliation or District Court to defend myself in MN. I feel fairly confident in presenting my side of things before a judge. The only concern I have right now is if the judge decides in favor of the GC and we have to pay for the GC's attorney fees. Otherwise I'm fine leaving this to a judge to decide. I understand where the GC is coming from, that they want to be paid for the work they've done, but to me it seems like it was their mistake that got us in this situation, and we're entitled to have our house's damage repaired just as much as they are entitled to being paid for work done.
What advice would you give me in this situation? Should I follow through with paying them $25,000 and allow them to file a lien? How much in attorney fees would you guess I'd be on the hook for if the GC wins before a judge? Is there a better option for me to take?
Thank you for reading if you've made it this far.
submitted by NotHarveyKeitel to legaladvice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:52 monohtony New Player here wanted maybe build suggestions?

Good afternoon/morning/evening to everyone,
I just started this game a couple of days ago, never really messed with fallout before with my only real experience having been watching my little player do crazy stuff in Fallout 3, new Vegas, and 4. I’ve always been more of an Elder Scrolls guy over fallout, but decided to give this game a go since it’s been in my library for years collecting dust and I have nothing to really do during free time until Dawntrail releases, and Hoo boy I’m actually surprised I never tried getting into this stuff sooner! It’s been a ton of fun so far.
I have a character at level 20 ish somewhere, but felt like I was going through things too fast and not really taking the moment to slow down and experience the world around my character, so I’ve made a new one, he’s level 4 last I checked. I think my current goal is to figure out what sort of build I wanna go for and unfortunately I am horribly indecisive when it comes to these things, so I’ve come making my first post here to ask for help.
To give an idea of what I generally go for: - in Skyrim I generally go for a basic one handed sword weapon, with the occasional magic in the other hand. I like being able to mix the different styles occasionally but I’m unsure how well that would go in a game like this as I’ve heard focusing on a specific build would be more beneficial in the long run. - Sniper rifles are an absolute no go. I don’t care for them and don’t think I ever will. - Shotguns and pistols are a maybe. - I don’t like bows, I tried messing with crossbows and they’re not horrible? I think they’re cool, but the slow reload leaves me open for melee abuse, which ideally I could swap to a melee weapon which would work in favor of a hybrid range/melee build but I’m still on the fence of that idea. - Automatic and semi automatic rifles ain’t half bad.
Thank you all in advance for ideas and help
submitted by monohtony to fo76 [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:51 jay_o_crest An Opportunity for Service for the Betterment of AA

Looking for something you can do to help the newcomer, your self, your group, and AA at large?
Don't take your cell phone to your local AA meeting. Leave your phone in your car.
Ever hear that old joke about how The Breakfast Club couldn't be made today? Because all 4 of them would be staring at the little screen of their cellphone and not speaking to each other. It's become that way in AA.
I guess the newcomers can be excused a bit for it, but I see people with lots of time merrily scrolling away during meetings. Oh, we're not supposed to judge, but frankly I fee they should know better. I walk into fellowship halls and I see no one speaking to each other become of their devotion to whatever is on their phones. This is warped.
Imagine you're a newcomer to AA, and it's your first meeting. Remember that feeling? Now imagine that no one greets you. Everyone there ignores you because they're watching a Youtube video. Feel welcome? Imagine sharing at a meeting for the first time, and noticing that many of the fellowship have their heads down looking at their phones. Feel heard?
It's just my opinion, but to use your phone during a meeting is profoundly disrespectful to the fellowship of AA. There's an AA principle of Singleness of Purpose, In respect to AA meetings, that means the purpose of the meeting is to help the alcoholic who still suffers. It's not to use the meeting room as an internet cafe.
submitted by jay_o_crest to alcoholicsanonymous [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:50 ThrowRAConsistentL How can I [31M] lessen my wife’s [30F] anxiety over having our newborn interact with our dog?

My wife and I have an 3 month old baby at home and a 1 year old labradoodle puppy at home. It was my wife’s decision to get our puppy last year after we suffered a late term miscarriage. I think she thought it would help her cope with the loss even though she’s never been much of a dog person and in hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have agreed to it knowing all of this but I love dogs and have always wanted to have one.
A month after we got our puppy, she got pregnant again (high risk pregnancy where she was in bed rest for most of it) and we recently welcomed our daughter a couple of months ago.
Ever since bringing our daughter home, my wife has had bad anxiety about having the dog and baby interacting with each other. She has told me that she regrets getting her and wasn’t thinking clearly when we got the dog. She has gotten mad at me for walking out of the room and leaving our puppy and daughter alone for literally seconds to grab something from the kitchen for example. She’s told me that she feels bad and guilty for feeling this way, given that our puppy has never shown any signs of aggression, but genuinely can’t help how she feels and doesn’t know how to curb this anxiety. She is planning on starting therapy for PPA soon and bringing this up as one of the points to address.
Does anyone have any suggestions for how else to navigate this? She hasn’t brought up rehoming our puppy yet but I’m worried that that may be coming up soon. I don’t want to rehome our puppy as I feel like she hasn’t done anything wrong and would love her and our daughter to grow up together.
submitted by ThrowRAConsistentL to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:50 fluff3panda Ford power station pro not broadcasting SSID - next steps

I have had my FPSP installed for amount 3 weeks and have hit a dead end. When powering it on for the first time, I saw the SSID and attempted to pair to the app. It asked for my wifi network and password and I incorrectly added my password. (Fat fingered it) But after waiting 15+ minutes I did not get another attempt to enter my password again. So I decided to power cycle the FPSP and try again. This time the SSID from my FPSP did not show anywhere. So me and the electrician attempted to troubleshoot for an hour. (I work as IT, so very familiar with protocols and how long this can take) We attempted to factory reset the device. We could not get the device to flash white as the manual suggests. The electrician I allowed to leave after it was clearly not their fault on this issue. After spending 2 hours on support with fords support team we were not able to reset the FPSP either. I am now in my 3rd week of trying to get an RMA with Ford. How my rep is consistently out of office. (Hmmm)
Has anyone had this issue with their FPSP?
I would add the device does charge my vehicle, however I have no app functionality or control over it's behavior. So I bumped the amps down to 40 to be safe.
Open to any advice.
submitted by fluff3panda to F150Lightning [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:50 LordStark_01 Tournament Prep and Chess Book Recommendations

Hey, I had posted a few days ago about how to improve at chess.
The summary is that I have an OTB university chess tournament coming up in a month, and the average performance rating is around 1100-1200, and I am stuck at 800 ELO and haven't broken 1000 yet.
I got a lot of wonderful suggestions, including books like The Game of Chess by Tarrasch, and 500 Master Games of Chess.
However I was struggling to read them on my own.
I am wondering if the book Logical Chess Move by Move by Irving Chernev would help, as many Youtubers have covered it, and I can follow along more easily.
And I was wondering what openings to learn as well. According to this video, for the 800-1000 ELO range, he recommends the London System to play as white, and as black, to play the Scandinavian against e4, and the Englund Gambit against d4 (though I am a bit skeptical about playing gambit lines in an OTB tournament).
I am also not sure what the time control is, as all the information I have on the tournament is from some random online website which recorded the games.
Please leave your thoughts below. It would help me a lot. Thank you in advance!
TLDR: Wondering whether Logical Chess Move by Move by Irving Chernev would help me cross 1000 ELO. Asking which openings to learn for OTB tournament.
submitted by LordStark_01 to chessbeginners [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:49 giaamd Seriously asking, what are you supposed to do when a cat won't stop peeing everywhere and you absolutely can't cope anymore?

So I'm not trying to ask for medical advice, and this cat has indeed been brought to the vet for this.
But I've had a cat who has had issues with at least occasionally peeing outside of the litter box the whole 7 years I've had her, but the past 3 or 4 years especially it's been consistent.
I've tried different litters, I've tried different litter boxes. I've taken her to the vet a few times over it (it's not impossible some vet could find some other option, but I genuinely can't afford more trips). She's been tried on medication for it. I've tried putting puppy pads down in the area in my bedroom that she tends to go on, but she always scratches and bunches them up, ends up missing and getting half of it on the carpet anyway.
I've posted ad after ad online, hoping somehow someone will be interested in taking a timid, elderly cat that pees on the floor (despite knowing that's unlikely, and honestly wondering whether that was even the best option for her). I've called rescues in the area the vet gave me the number for, despite personally feeling like that again, that may not really be a realistic good option for her.* They're all full and/or won't take her.
I finally gave up recently and made an appointment to have her euthanized. I talked to my vet's office on the phone, explained the whole situation, got the appointment made...and then right before the appointment, they called to tell me that the vet actually wouldn't be willing to euthanize and was just going to do an exam.
I've now started messaging and calling around to other vets in the area. The couple of replies so far have been that they'll want to do a quality of life exam and if the vet determines she has very poor quality of life they'll do euthanasia, otherwise they won't be willing to.
I have spent 4 years+ of my life sleeping in a room that very often smells like cat urine, have spent nights laying in bed with my nostrils burning from the smell, shampooing and shampooing carpet... What the fuck more am I supposed to do?
My mental health is already poor. I have sacrificed enough. Laying in a room that smells of cat urine night after night, putting up with it for a cat and knowing there's not much you can do, has a way of making you feel subhuman. I'm disabled, can not afford to take her to the vet for anymore appointments that won't really accomplish anything anyway, can not keep having this as yet another stressor wearing down on my already abysmal mental health. I understand vets not wanting to just euthanize any healthy cat on a whim, I get it, but this is different and I don't know what to do.
Is it the norm for vets offices not to euthanize for an issue like this? Should I expect that I'm probably fucked and won't find one that will be willing to? What do I even do?
I feel torn, but a big part of me truly, honestly feels like euthanasia is the most humane choice for her even *if I could find someone willing to take her. She's such an extremely timid cat that I'm the only person in the house she's even gotten 90% comfortable with in 7 years of her living here, and she rarely leaves my room despite my efforts to get her comfortable in the house. 2 other people in the house have tried to get her to trust them, and she's just barely gotten to the point where if I'm holding her she might let them pet her and not quite look like she thinks they're going to kill her, after being here 7 years.
She's always been a very anxious cat, her first owner had her declawed unfortunately and I think that contributed to her anxiety. I honestly feel like even if a rescue would take her it would be absolute hell for her. I think of her going to a shelterescue, spending months of hell there and then just getting euthanized anyway. Or even if she does find a home, how do I know someone won't mistreat her because of the peeing? I really have been torn on whether those are even good options for her anyway, even on top of the fact that now that I've tried exploring those options I can't even find anyone to take her.
submitted by giaamd to CatAdvice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:48 Constant_Scarcity618 ULPT request

An loud, party-loving asshole recently bought the land that backs up to my parents’ 70 acres of old-growth forest. He built his house, has a big yard, pool, etc, at the front of the property — that’s no biggie he’s too far away to be too obnoxious.
However he’s started clearing out his new property to ‘build stuff’ and is using bulldozers he rents that roar day and night. Our family is Native American and my parents are deeply connected to the land we live on. Many of the trees are centuries old. The part of the forest he owns he’s now razing to the ground slowly but surely, lopping down trees that are at least 200 years old. He isn’t doing anything illegal, but I can’t think of much more evil than what he’s doing. I need some ways to slow down/halt this destruction. He can’t afford to rent these vehicles forever, but I don’t know how to effectively disable them and not get arrested. Somehow he has to get annoyed/bored enough that he gives up and remains content with leaving the forest alone. Please, give me anything at all, I’m desperate.
submitted by Constant_Scarcity618 to UnethicalLifeProTips [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:48 Jonbieniemy87 A Lily in a Valley of Haze (Part 3 of ?)

Morrigan went to join her lily in her room, joining her apothecary in the making of their garden. She hoped it would calm her down, she hoped that she could smell that sweet smell again, she hoped that she could show her traitor son that he was wrong. She would show him that he was wrong, even if she had no idea how to garden.
Morrigan spent a lot of time working on the garden with her lily and apothecary, often without her armor. She wasn't sure how she would feel outside of her armor in the presence of another, but she grew to appreciate the opportunity. She noticed that the apothecary wore their mask less often around her, and even offered to help her with gardening. Morrigan refused, stubbornly insisting that she could do it herself, even though she was having no success whatsoever. However, even though she found the experience of gardening to be incredibly frustrating, it was also calming in a sense. The apothecary found this stubborn determination adorable in a sense. They had figured out what kind of flowers their lady liked and grew the ones that they liked best. It helped with their lady's unique smell, even though they had gotten somewhat used to it by now. They even started making perfumes, leaving them in their lady’s room without her knowledge. Morrigan loved the perfumes she knew her lily had made, but didnt say anything in case her apothecary would find out she actually liked them.
After much time and hard work, Morrigan finally got her first flower to bloom. It was a white lily, which she placed gently in the apothecary room, as a token. The apothecary found it rather touching, pinning their lady’s flower to their breast pocket, so they could carry it wherever they go.
The Primarch’s room would soon become a beautiful green space, so much so that Morrigan would often take off her mask when she was alone to smell the flowers and experience the work she and her lily had done. One day, while her lily was gardening, she handed them a new set of orders stating they would be moving into the room to better take care of the garden. The apothecary nodded, and moved their stuff into the garden, before returning to their work. They noticed that Morrigan didn't wear her mask anymore, and she never wore her armor in the garden. They didn’t ask their lady about it; they simply appreciated the trust.
Morrigan started bringing her Lily out of the garden more often, taking them on campaigns, to meetings and the like. Her sons questioned her intentions of bringing an apothecary during discussions of military matters.
“Mother, is it strictly necessary for the apothecary to be here? They have no training in the art of war, and they are not participating in the combat on the surface. I think it would be bes….”
Morrigan stared daggers at her son, her mask hiding the anger in her face. “The apothecary will stay. This way they can best prepare for the incoming casualties. That is final. Now let us continue planning the assault.” The apothecary smiled beneath their mask but made sure that this would be evident to their lady’s sons. They judged it would be best to not antagonize them.
After several successful campaigns, the Endurance once again returned to Barbaros, though as they arrived, they were greeted by another ship orbiting the planet. That ship was the Photep, flagship of Morrigan’s sister Magnolia. Morrigan had her vox master send a vox to her sister’s ship.
“Sister, what brings you here?” Morrigan said, questioning the intentions of her sister. She knew that Magnolia would not be here for a simple social call. She was here for something, probably knowledge.
“Sister! I am simply here to pay you a visit. I’ll arrive shortly.” Then the vox cut.
Morrigan gripped her scythe angrily. ‘That bitch’ she thought, ‘inviting herself, ignoring my questions. I’ll show her arrogant ass what for.’ She turned to her lily, her anger fading somewhat at the sight of her flower still pinned to her lily’s chest. “Apothecary, come with me. My sister may need some ‘assistance’ after I’m done with her.” Lily nodded, following quickly at the side of their lady as they made their way to the hangar.
Magnolia’s Stormhawk landed shortly after Morrigan and her Lily arrived in the hangar. Magnolia stepped out alone, a group of her sons waiting behind on the Stormhawk. Magnolia’s eyes were immediately drawn to the powerful psychic energy coming from the apothecary next to her sister. Lily could feel a strong probing psychic force in their mind, searching for information. Lily could also feel their lady’s anger and burning hatred. They gently placed their hand on Morrigan’s, before returning their hand to their side. Morrigan was shaken by this simple act, but she decided she would deal with it later. First, she needed to handle her sister.
Magnolia greeted her sister with a smile and gestured to the apothecary to Morrigan’s side. “Sister, what a lovely little psyker you have there. Have you finally changed your mind?” Magnolia said smugly.
Morrigan advanced upon Magnolia, ready to behead her sister for her insolence and arrogance. But once again, her Lily placed their hand upon hers. She knew it would be best to ensure they did not get hurt. “My Lily…!” Morrigan's voice, once angry, was now caught in her throat. Had she said it out loud. “Ahem, my apothecary is not a psyker. They are simply a talented apothecary, not a sorcerer like you. Perhaps your sorcery is failing you sister? Perhaps you could still see properly if you had both of your eyes.” She spat, her mask expelling gas in powerful blasts of anger. “If you have a purpose for your visit, state it. Otherwise get off my ship and return to your librarium sister.”
Magnolia, now frustrated, turned and left. “Your ignorance will bite you one day sister, that I assure you.” She said before her Stormhawk returned to her ship. She would find the knowledge she was looking for another way. Barbarus surely had knowledge that she could make great use of. She would just have to try and get it some other way.
Morrigan looked down at their Lily. They had held their hand the whole time, and it almost brought a smile to Morrigan’s face. “Let us return to our duties.” She said, letting go of her lily’s hand, and walked with them back to the garden. Morrigan couldn’t quite understand what emotions were going through her mind, so she focused on cultivating her plants, keeping her mind away from what she went through.
Nurgle was watching the two, smiling uglily. His plan would be put into place soon. Soon he would have the Primarch in his grips. He just needed to give her a little bit of a push. Targeting her apothecary would be of great benefit…
submitted by Jonbieniemy87 to PrimarchGFs [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:47 Snoo80971 Firefly Comp vs Another DPS Comp (Jingliu Hypercarry)

For this setup, I am using Ruan Mei at E0S0, Gallagher at E6S0, Harmony MC at E5S0, Bronya at E1S1 as the supports.
Jingliu and Firefly are both E0S1.
Firefly is going to have 10 rolls of BE, 4 rolls on spd and 7 rolls of attack on substats and the rest are wherever Jingliu is going to have a total of 25 rolls on crit stats and 5 rolls on atk.
Why Gallagher? For fairness of this comparison, Im using Argenti as the boss to fight against. Damage that will be computed is only for the 0th Cycle.
Firefly is using RM, HMC and Gallagher. Enough said.
Jingliu Team is Bronya, RM and Gallagher. Gallagher to help break Argenti faster since Jingliu would then suffer from the Broken Multiplier from being 90%. RM also here is a bit better than Pela so I did not bother changing her for Pela. (Plus we will be back to the Weakness break argument again about the Broken Multiplier)
Crit Rate and Crit Damage in here are from Base Character page while BE is after RM + MC + Watchmaker are up
This is a fight wherein I am only taking into account the damage vs Argenti himself and not including the shields.
The boss Argenti has a toughnes of 480 and on a MoC setup even. With these in mind, below are the result of the damage per cycle:
I included the Boss remaining toughness so that everyone has an idea on how much toughness gauge is left. X on the table is a marking wherein damage would be considered irrelevant. I was tempted to put X on Jingliu's normal skill but alas, presented it for everyone to see that irrelevant damage is even lower than that.
The big spike in damage for both Firefly and Jingliu when enemy toughness becomes 0 is due to Ruan Mei. And for Firefly, both Ice Break from RM and her own Fire Break Damage procd.
The comp for Jingliu is her best performing comp vs Argenti that has a sustain.
Right side is the Ice Break Damage of Ruan Mei for the Jingliu comp.
What people fail to realize is that, on the Firefly comp, everyone is capable of doing Super Break damage. And for the AoE scenario, Firefly has an advantage over any other unit as she breaks multiple enemies fast thanks to her Blast hit and huge toughness reducing damage.
For a more clear view of how much toughness reducing damage each does before weakness break efficiency takes in effect. Also is the reason why she used Gallagher. Coz Jingliu's weakness breaking capability is quite weak.
From the tables above, the Firefly comp is already doing almost 2x the damage of a Jingliu comp. This level of damage is higher than Imbibitor Lunae and is on par with Acheron. This is why, if Firefly either gets the ability to crit consistently while keeping her stats above or is able to proc Super Break by herself then her team is going to leave behind every single DPS comp in the game.
And keep in mind, Jingliu had almost max investment on her offensive stats while Firefly has so-so investment that there is a difference of 9 rolls that Firefly can still give to her BE substats for even higher damage.
I made this post as I have seen several people saying that if Firefly gets buffed, shes going to be atleast DHIL/Jingliu level. I take that as an offense, since as an E6S5 Jingliu owner, I have never seen my Jingliu hit for the amount of damage the Firefly comp does overall that is. Of course i compared my E6S5 Jingliu with an E2S1 Firefly with E1S1 RM and such so I presented an E0S1 variation of both of em.
The gap would be wider as well if RM is E1 as multiple characters on the team are doing Super Break Damage.
Yes, her team comp might be super restrictive, but 2 technically free characters, Firefly and a Harmony character that every content creator recommended others to pull for 5 months ago. I would say, for the amount of damage the team is doing, theyre quite F2P friendly.
submitted by Snoo80971 to SamMains [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:46 AsparagusOk5224 Prevailing Wages

Hi I am a Vivint employee. Can someone explain prevailing wages to me. I’m not sure how much money I owe to my manger because i have not made my prevailing wages yet. Can someone explain the formula to me. Thank you.
submitted by AsparagusOk5224 to VivintSmartHome [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:46 kofsow How can I trust my thoughts?

I (22f) got a diagnosis of BPD and anxiety earlier in January of this year. Since then, I’ve started to notice tendencies that previously held no space in my mind. I have never really had friends growing up. I can’t maintain relationships like that. After a certain amount of time of my pathological people pleasing and overapologizing, they’ll do something that’ll cause me to silently and secretly flip out and then I pull away or lash out, ultimately severing ties. The aggression I feel is inward and towards myself as opposed to other people. I often feel this intense hatred of myself for how I feel in these friendships and the fact that I can’t maintain them. When I was younger, my parents kept me in a lot of activities. I was never not doing something after school or on the weekends. I would ask to quit things like ballet and violin lessons but it would make my mom cry and she wouldn’t understand. As a young adult, I worked 2 to 3 jobs at a time while getting my bachelor’s. My anxiety won’t let me rest. I finally had a meltdown at my day job as a paralegal and impulsively quit. Luckily, they were understanding and have offered a job in the future for me to come back when I’m ready. I feel guilty and undeserving of this, especially in low moments. I’ve attempted to hold other full time positions but keep impulsively quitting or just not showing up to interviews. I am scared after not being able to work or show up to an interview at 5 different jobs within a year that I’ll never have a real career.
I have been able to maintain my music career though. It’s very simple work. Pays a couple hundred a week for the most part and offers a very flexible schedule. I live with my parents so it works for now. I am a professional theater musician. I’ve toured with a couple productions but have been stationary and only playing off Broadway and other regional theater gigs after I came home this past summer. I was at a very low point last summer once I got home. If I’m not busy, I think too much.
During this point, a colleague asked if I could join this random duo and form a band. The singer was allegedly in a national tour (I come to find out it’s like a kids bop thing, has a great voice, but in the end, no real work experience). We worked together for 6 or 7 months. About 2 months ago, we had a very personal convo. I brought up my BPD because I felt it was relevant and these people had similar mental health struggles. Despite the fact I mentioned my struggle with fitting in and my anxiety of being unheard, disregarded and unseen, Sunday night they told me that our only paying gig was going to be cancelled. It was not. They went without me. I found out yesterday morning. I also found out that they had removed me from all social media on Sunday which fucking crushed me. We were planning for me to leave the group at the end of June but had a non paying festival coming up that almost 3 hours away that I was still supposed to play at. I understand I would be leaving the group, but I wasn’t gone yet. They expected me to keep playing thru June 30 even after wiping my existence from their image. Though I don’t want to work with them and I wasn’t enjoying my time with them, I still feel so rejected. How can I feel rejected by people I don’t want? I don’t need recognition in a garage band, just honesty and respect. I felt unheard, unseen and unimportant. Everything I told them I was scared of feeling and everything that really triggers my harmful thoughts. Now those intense thoughts that I’m a terrible person and I deserve this, I deserve the negative thoughts and the self harm, are back and pretty strong. I know they aren’t putting that much thought into it but they certainly have made it obvious how they view me. I feel proud of the fact that I didn’t immediately react and bring it up to them. I responded the next day. I know I would have behaved horribly if I had addressed this before calming down.
Last night, they had a gig that I was supposed to go to. I asked a musicians subreddit for advice that morning, whether I should attend the gig or not. Quitting is a shitty thing to do especially less than 10 hours before the gig. I’ve always been flaky at the other jobs but when it comes to my music career, I always see things through. Out of respect, I do the jobs I commit to. This time, I did not go. I called them. Told them how I felt and cried. I told them I would not feel comfortable being on stage in front of people in a state like this. I deleted my post out of fear that maybe they would find it. I saved the comments though. They were helpful for me yesterday. I am scared my reputation as a musician might take a hit but my family say that’s paranoid thinking. I’m definitely skimming over the details but there was a lot more that went on.
I don’t know if these are real reasons that are valid for quitting or if I’ve corrupted the story enough to make sure I was the good person and they’ve become the bad ones. I can’t trust my own thoughts. The majority of the subreddit told me that I knew my answer and that I shouldn’t have to ask for permission to back out. Made me remember how much I rely on asking for permission.
I wanna learn how to feel good about the decisions I make. I don’t want to feel like everything I do is wrong. I don’t want to ask myself every time something happens whether I imagined it or if they actually treated me poorly. I can’t trust my own mind to tell me what’s right. My parents always told me I was overly sensitive and dramatic growing up. Maybe I was too sensitive and gave a dramatic response. Maybe I really was the bad person in the situation. I wish I knew how to tell if I was the bad person, if I was in the wrong. I feel regretful over how I responded. I know that I’ll be happier without this group. I often left rehearsals and shows feeling bad about myself, feeling pushed aside, feeling stupid. I don’t know if those feelings were real and if they truly were the ones to make me feel that way. Or if this is just what I do to myself.
I am so fucking jealous of the people that are confident and love themselves. I hate them
Sorry this was so fucking long, needed to vent.
TL;DR I struggle to maintain jobs and make friends. I’m scared that I can’t trust my own mind. Do I imagine people treat me poorly or do I corrupt the story to make sure I’m the good person? I don’t know how to tell if I am the issue.
submitted by kofsow to BPD [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:46 Xemnas81 Worried that my executive dysfunction issues incl planning difficulties and anxiety making decisions is going to both be a dealbreaker for partner and makes me generally unfit for poly/ENM

Hi,
I'm (31M) preparing to see my partner (P, 34NB) for the first time in a year. I'm pretty excited as I have missed them.
Currently they are on a vacation in the capital city of my country (which is considerable distance away) with Meta (M) and some friends, and will be meeting me and staying with me later on. We have had a bit of an argument over P boundary setting with me regarding meeting arrangements and this has made me felt less confident about our date week as a whole.
The situation feels a bit personal for myself because I have GAD, a disability and am neurodivergent with comorbid executive dysfunction issues. I personally think that the ED is a significant stressor for Partner, maybe even more than my mental health! Although I am not sure why this is.
I can somewhat understand why executive functioning is a sore spot and important. In general booking flights, trains, hotels etc. can be really stressful and overwhelming for me, and while a general problem, this is obviously a problem in an LDR especially. There is also P's work schedule to consider. I wish we had more autonomy but I can't and in fact right now I'm not even *allowed* to drive.
So what happened: my polycule suggested this UK meet months ago, and I was keen, but this was at the time just an idea. The plan was always to meet P, M et. al. after their break in capital city A in city B and then for the group to split so that P and I could do our own thing separately.
For various unfortunate reasons though (including awaiting an appointment for surgery and my social security review) I was first unable to commit until 2 weeks ago, when I had a hospital appointment (which was almost a 5 minute waste of time but that's another story) and then procrastinated on reserving hotels. (I was especially scared of being discharged if I rescheduled, and as a disabled person I am just scared of my government who frankly dislike and scapegoat disabled people.) I was also insecure about meeting meta and especially the friends. Finally money was both an issue and something I was pretending was not for reasons I'll explain below.
P tried to help me with hotel reservation but we were unable to complete it before they left their country last weekend. I can't remember why; I'm ashamed to say I might have just got distracted and panicked...
I have since had a busy/exhausting week engaged with advocacy service, family birthdays, therapy and a planned outing with friends--and so has P, with work before leaving and with the trip after. P suggested meeting me halfway at city C, and we could have a day trip there.
I had felt overwhelmed by the decision, so asked for help from my friends. Both my friends and partner kept emphasising that reservations as well as the kinds of long-haul trains I wanted would be 'expensive' and basically talking out of our plan B and plan C. It seems as if my not spending was the major consideration. At risk of sounding both privileged and irresponsible, which maybe I am; from a self-confidence standpoint I care less about spending a lot of money as a) proving to myself I can do these things and b) treating my partner to a nice experience after so long away from each other.
However I am also quite a people pleaser, especially towards P. Additionally deadlines absolutely cause me to panic and any form of timekeeping pressure. So if somebody shares an opinion strongly then I tend to just mirror them. This can often be a problem with Partner who has quite a lot of strong opinions and values, and also can be easily frustrated. They can also be impatient although I want to caveat that in many ways they have been *very* patient with me. It's hard to process. I keep wanting to blame myself or them. The point is that I don't like arguing with people and will let them talk me out of a situation if it means avoiding a fight. (I know this is a trauma response from my abandonment issues and seeing my parents fight while divorcing as a kid)
Partner initially said that since they were now spending time with meta they were unavailable and it was up to me to decide and plan my own arrangements. However they more or less suddenly changed their mind *the next day*, and said that they had to consider their own needs, had ditched any plans with me beyond meeting me at my home (plan D) and will meet me at my home this weekend.
I absolutely understand why P was stressed about pinning down a meet up date, place and time. Despite being completely fluent, they would be travelling in a foreign country after all. Perhaps I had been stubborn about 'wanting to see Meta and friends' while not considering or committing to the logistics of that, which I knew would exhaust me.
The problem was this flip in...willingness to grant me autonomy happened so suddenly I had no time to process it. I was on a bus home at the time. The period between "I think we should drop the holiday" and "I've bought a train directly to yours, meet me" was about 5-10 minutes of streaming IMs where I was in freeze response and unable to really engage.
Although they didn't see it (instead my friend did) I had a complete meltdown and panic attack as in my mind this was failure. I was already doing toxic comparison to Meta (who is wealthier, more relationally experienced, and has greater connections in the poly scene). My hometown is...it's a dump. I mean my local area is nice enough but...it's not a capital city or city break. I sense this is toxic but . Again it feels like personal failure, especially as I had told my family and *even my therapist and social worker* about the plans. So there is embarrassment on top of it, like disappointing P is disappointing *them* by proxy. Further I'm worrying that the fact I think P might even 'need' the entertainment of a big city is being sexist (and so misgendering). Finally I'm struggling to think of alternatives since I doubt they will want to spend the whole time in my apartment.
Nor is this the first time I have had a meltdown due to P being frustrated with how slow, tardy, indecisive I can get. In fact one happened when we went on vacation last year...because I took too long in the toilet before we left for the train. So...yeah, I know how important punctuality and efficiency is to P but I...still got caught off guard this time.
I spoke to my therapist today I'm thinking about whether it'd be good for us to have a one-off 'couples therapy' with my therapist (with P attending) and what I need to ask from my therapist. Fortunately my therapist is poly informed and practises it, which I think will help. However I don't think this is about 'poly' exactly, it seems to be about my own difficulties.
Beyond this I'm not sure what to do. Honestly I don't want to disturb P but also? This incident has caused me to check out of interest in their time with M and friends beforehand, (which I was previously following with interest) and lose some compersion. I have the distressed part of my brain telling me that I can avoid disappointing people if I just let them take control of everything and never say No or speak up. Especially with P it has seemed for a while that the best way to avoid annoying them is to just let them take the lead, because me trying to exercise my own autonomy just causes analysis paralysis and arguments leading to panic attacks/meltdowns/shame spirals...and tbqh that happens with everyone in my life which suggests it's a me problem. Generally I'm just low energy now, I'm tired and didn't sleep well or much.
I am worried I'm going to get dumped, and I am worried that this would be proof that I am not fit for at least poly dating if not dating in general. My mind takes P and M as representative of 'the ideal ENM individual' (read: high agency, extremely independent, values autonomy, effortless boundaries/assertiveness, highly efficient/no EF issues etc.) and I am projecting all of my insecurities and deficit in these faculties onto the whole damn scene.
How much of this boils down to bad communication, RSD and internalised ableism? Idk. I can tell that my mind is on a worry train now, and this whole thing is yet again as much about proving myself as capable to people as being in the moment. I worry that I won't be able to mentally solve this issue and I *have* to let go. Right now I need to clean this place up a little before the weekend. Any help appreciated
submitted by Xemnas81 to polyamory [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:45 SiegeOfMadrigal My idea of a Striker Titan rework.

I've been seeing all the posts about Titan subclasses lately, and I wanted to jump in on the fun and share my ideas!
This is mostly going to be a Striker specific revamp, but I do have a universal idea for Arc...4.0 as a whole. I have been a striker main since I started playing this game back in Season Of The Splicer, I play nothing but Striker because it's my favorite subclass, despite its obvious shortcomings. Something about thundercrash satisfy Titan brain, yes?
Let's start with the Striker Aspects!
KNOCKOUT:
Knockout is actually a pretty good aspect up until your healing gets interrupted before it even starts. This is arguably the only thing that I would change about Knockout. Let the healing be uninterruptible for a few seconds. If I had to change something else though, I think I would also trade out the extra melee lunge distance for something else as well. Let's be real, the melee hit reg in this game has always been terrible, it's useless.
They had no issue removing it from Synthoceps, so let's remove it from Knockout as well and replace it with the blind verb! Give us more ways to access arc blind, Bungie! When knockout is procced, let that electrical titan fist do the extra damage it already has, and arc blind surrounding enemies! Survivability is an issue for Striker, right, Bungie? And you want us titans to punch things, right, Bungie? Then let us do so safely at the very least.
JUGGERNAUT:
Juggernaut, for what it's worth, in terms of what it was going for, it only scratched the surface of what it could really be. The frontal shield was only a small fraction of the direction that Bungie should have gone with this aspect. For this instance, I'm going to reference Warhammer 40k: Darktide's Ogryns so that you can envision the best possible image for this aspect in your head (also a game that I play fairly religiously). If you've ever played Bull Rush on an Ogryn, you'll know where I'm going with this one.
The Juggernaut aspect should give us some decent DR and let us bulldozer through enemies, trampling everything in our path. We should be able to either stun these enemies or completely knock them on their Witness-worshipping butts. Let us plow through everything in our path, and jolting everything we leave behind. Let us stagger bosses for a second so that we can stop them from advancing or let our teammates hit some quick crit damage on them. (This would be good for those agro Ogre bosses in Onslaught, would it not?) My idea is, in order for this to not be spammed on bosses and in general, your frontal shield should get broken on impact with a boss, or when it takes enough built up impact on adds, so you need to wait for your class ability to be recharged to do it again.
TOUCH OF THUNDER:
This aspect got one thing right with Striker Titan. Back in the skill tree days, I THINK it was top tree striker(?) IIRC that was a grenade class for Titans. This is why we got Touch Of Thunder, for this reason, so let's expand on this a little bit, shall we? This is something that the HoIL Stormnades build got correct. Let Striker lean into demolitionist-like combat! Let us give our enemies a little touch of thunder...and LIGHTNING!
Rollback the nerfs a little bit to HoIL. This nerf was way too harsh. On top of the universal ability nerfs, Bungie nerfed everything about this exotic. From the damage bonus, to the ability regen rate, to the duration of these buffs themselves. Imo, I always thought it was way too harsh. We're in PvE, we are not playing Gambit and Crucible. Let us have the buff for the ten seconds again, please, at the very least. Whether Bungie would want to rollback the damage and regen rate a little bit, that's up to them, but I wouldn't complain.
Striker Titan NEEDS a grenade exotic. Something like Controverse Holds, or Starfire, or Sunbracers...and definitely not something like Arbor Warden, or Ashen Wake, please. (I'm aware that Ashen Wake refunds energy on kills, but the effect it gives to Fusion grenades is just not substantial). Something that buffs the regen rate and damage of a specific grenade (I'm probably gonna go with Pulse Grenades for this one since they were one of the original Titan grenades...and Warlocks would probably get upset if we got an exotic for storm grenades, so let's spare them those feelings please).
How about an exotic that just buffs the radius of the pulse grenade itself? Turn it into a gigantic emp like bomb, or maybe enhance the pulse effect by creating a shockwave effect like that of Thundercrash, or even Kinetic Tremors...but in a arc way, of course.
I believe that letting us lean into Grenadier combat on striker is the way to go because all we've gotten are melee exotics for striker, and well... they're kinda underwhelming. Maybe they aren't? One thing is for sure, though, and it's that Striker's melee combat/capability is indeed underwhelming, and it isn't strong enough to justify using any of these melee exotics, also because again, Striker Titan is made of paper and has no safe way to survive up close, unless we do become an actual Juggernaut...with a lot of grenades strapped to our belts and chest pieces.
Bungie if you do read this, I would really really beg you to consider giving Striker Titan this Juggernaut/Grenadier identity that it needs to pair with Touch Of Thunder. This would help the class (or at least the subclass, anyways) have some form of identity and a different play style as opposed to just meleeing everything. Let us trample through everything and give us grenade energy to finish those enemies off. We were given touch of thunder for a reason, please expand upon this.
SUPERS:
FISTS OF HAVOC...more like Fists Of Glass Bones and Paper Skin:
With or without the Juggernaut Aspect equipped, let the DR and Trample effect join this super, please. Eternal Warrior's overshield doesn't do anything for this super. Bring back super energy return on melee kills also, to extend this super. FoH is by far one of the worst supers in the game, and it needs a lot of help. Let us tank some crazy damage like that of a Berserker Titan, please. Even when I proc my Berserker super on critical health, everything shooting at me takes so little HP. Let's give this super the Juggernaut feeling that is so desperately needs.
THUNDERCRASH:
Arguably my favorite super in the entire game, I love it, but it too also needs some love. Thundercrash is the only arc one and done super in the game that does not apply jolt to enemies. Change this so that Tcrashes' aftershocks apply jolt to all enemies that are in them, and let the shockwaves last longer too.
In addition to applying jolt and making more shockwaves, please buff the damage of base Thundercrash so that the amount that Cuirass Of The Falling Star is doubling...isn't still less than a Needle Storm. This is one of the riskiest supers in the game, please let it do a substantial amount of damage. Make the tradeoffs of getting into Master Atheon's all mighty stomp worth it. Let us hit like the meteor it is supposed to be.
CUIRASS OF THE FALLING STAR:
All this exotic needs is a little bump to the same level of Pyrogales. A little neutral game bump that might make it worth keeping it equipped instead of swapping it on and off. Let it blind or jolt enemies with ballistic slam, come full circle with the code of the missile.
Additional Subclass Verb(s): (Universal)
So, this one is a bit tricky, and still in the rough draft process for me, but I think this one could be used for some nice add control.
I'll call it EMP for now (electrical magnetic pulse). Let us stun enemies in place for a few seconds with this verb, allow it to keep enemies in place for a couple seconds while doing some tick/shock damage to them. Perhaps the main use of this verb should be used to stagger beefier enemies such as Taken Phalanxes, Cabal Colossus, Gladiators, Vex "red bar" Wyverns, Fallen Briggs, Hive Ogres, Scorn Abominations, etc. Hell, even Tormentors if we wanna go that far. Gives us some breathing room and buys us time to eliminate bigger threats, or regain health. Will not be as strong as suspend or freeze...but I sure think I'd be locked in place if I was getting hit by a bolt of lightning. This could also work on Champions even, but stunning them will still be the main priority, of course, unless this gets reworked into the subclasses where it's allowed to stun specific champs, then sure!
A verb of this caliber could be awesome, but maybe we don't need it? It's the only idea I could come up with, but I thought it would be worth mentioning.
Please let me know what you think and share your ideas too!
submitted by SiegeOfMadrigal to DestinyTheGame [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:43 laahaa Should I move? Possibly have mold in apartment, but cannot find a better place

Live in an apartment in Seattle. Upstairs pipe broke in the end of March. The landlord fixed the broken pipe one week later. However, they did not vent the ceiling drywall well before seal the ceiling. The drywall was wet for almost a month (moisture level > 25%, while the normal level should be <12%). There had been intolerable musty smell since I found the ceiling leak. I guess the smell comes from mold in between drywalls. They drilled holes to ventilate after my complaints and the moisture of the drywall is normal now.
I'm worried about the mold and wanted to move out. I'm currently on monthly lease, which gives me flexibility. However, after searching for a new place in the 3 weeks, I cannot find a better one than my current place: the options are either expensive, noisy or at the basement. If it wasn't the concern about the mold,
Things make me want to leave:
  1. Potential mold growth
    1. There was a musty smell when the ceiling leak started. The smell was still strong when the landlord drilled holes on the ceiling to ventilate 3 weeks after the pipe was fixed.
    2. I used home mold test kit to test the airborne mold. It's positive. (How accurate is it? Based on some search, it seems those kits are not accurate?)
Things make me incline to stay and see:
  1. Cannot find a better place than my current one
  2. Mold growth is no visible and the smell seems to disappear, almost(?)
    1. No mold allergic symptoms for now. However, I have been out of town and I've only stayed at my unit for 2 weeks consecutively after the ceiling leak. Mold impact probably takes longer to observe.
    2. The ceiling drywall seems to be dry now after ventilation. They sprayed some Clorox / mold killer before sealing the ceiling.
  3. On monthly lease. Probably have the flexibility to stay and move when I see mold infection symptoms? But I'm afraid the health impact of mold would be irreversible.
So I started wondering, how dangerous is my current apartment due to mold? Is it better to stay rather than move? How can I do to assure myself my unit is ok / not ok to stay? Washington only requires landlord to fix the root cause of ceiling leak but does not ask landlord to inspect / address the mold (reference). Is mold inspection reliable and worth it and should I get one?
submitted by laahaa to Apartmentliving [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 18:43 Yurii_S_Kh A Parish Priest’s Conversation in the Cemetery on Radonitsa

A Parish Priest’s Conversation in the Cemetery on Radonitsa
Before I came to the faith, I didn’t like going to the cemetery. What’s more, the cemetery always reminded me of my mortality, and it made me sad. Since I didn’t see life as eternal, it seemed sad to live on earth.
https://preview.redd.it/5iqk8wg87f0d1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=ca4ed8cb5d2d2add69e831459d6614da6d532d23
What should I live for? In order to die? It’s all pointless. Willy-nilly you arrive at the idea of evolution here. Man appeared on earth as a result of positive mutations and eventually we began to have consciousness, conscience and reason. Sometimes you clutch your head, saying, “Why did I become a human being? Who needed all these mutations if I will just be buried in the ground or turn into a pathetic handful of ashes?” With such ideas, the old saying seemed justified: “Take everything from life before the worms eat you.”
The awareness of the fact that you are a mold from an eternal Image justifies your existence and gives it meaning. And the thought of your inevitable meeting with the Creator makes you take your life seriously. The purpose is revealed to you: He loves you, and you are a child of His love.
And you think: “How good!” It was only after I came to the faith that the cemetery ceased to be an eerie place for me and turned into a “repository of completed narratives.”
Our cemetery beyond the village in the heart of the forest is divided into the smaller, old one, which appeared in the seventeenth century, and the new and larger one. Do you know how our village cemetery differs from urban ones—apart from its size? I served the funeral for almost everyone who is buried in the new cemetery. I made the “last entry” in the destiny of almost every person buried here. I pray for them and remember many of them. Besides, even before my ordination I had lived and worked with these people for many years. And I know that their life in eternity depends on my prayer in some way. Our bond with them was not severed by their demise. Spiritual care does not stop even beyond the grave.
The Church year, with its memorial Ancestors’ Saturdays and especially the Paschal services, does not allow us to forget those who have already departed this life. And visiting people’s graves on Radonitsa always is always a special, joyful event for me. I go to the cemetery as if to visit my friends—those whom I came to love during their earthly lives and with whom I prayed and restored the church—my brothers and sisters.
One day I had a dream just before going to serve on Ancestors’ Saturday. It was as if I had died, my soul had flown away, and I could even see my own body from outside it. And I was so upset and sorry that I could not say goodbye to anyone, hug my children and kiss my wife. And my soul began to cry from anguish.
Suddenly a thought flashed through my mind: “Today is Ancestors’ Saturday! How many people will come to church now, but there will be no service! Where will another priest come from?” And my soul, accustomed to responsibility, immediately returned to my body. I woke up and was relieved that it had all just been a dream. But then I remembered forever how my soul had wept after leaving the body. From that day on I began to feel compassion for the deceased while performing the funeral over them.
https://preview.redd.it/6n9w3htc7f0d1.png?width=766&format=png&auto=webp&s=865fb6725a4d697012e0c45be99ed41cee63ec40
I am greeted first by Alexei at the entrance to the new cemetery. I learned a lot from that man and in many ways, would like to be like him. He knew how to live and had a great desire to live. But for all his buoyancy, illness taught Alexei to be patient and to humble himself. He was dying for several years, but every time after the unction he got better and continued to come to church every Sunday and receive Communion. And he passed away on the feast of the Ascension of the Lord.
The last thing Alexei said to me—and I managed to give him Communion—was:
“Thank you, Father. Thanks for everything!”
Christ is Risen, Alexei!
The well-groomed grave of the child Sashenka [a diminutive form of the name Alexander.—Trans.] is very close. He received Communion almost at every Sunday Liturgy. He drowned in Feodosia the day before he was supposed to start going to the first grade. His father Nikolai, a simple worker, could not save the child. After that, through hard labor he earned a sufficient sum of money for us to pay for the work of icon-painters. Three large icons of the Deesis in the St. Nicholas Chapel of our church are his sacrifice in memory of his son.
One day, after his death, the boy came to his father in a dream and said:
“Papa, I’ve been to many places, but I like St. Alexander Svirsky’s monastery the most.”
Christ is Risen, dear child! Pray for us there.
Irina. Irochka, I still can’t come to terms with the fact that you’ve been here for six years already. You shouldn’t have died, especially at such a young age. You are our beauty! I will never forget it—after I had given you Divine Unction and Communion, you took my hand in yours, already translucent from illness, and, kissing it, said:
“Now I’m not afraid of anything. Thank you.”
I hope you were not offended that I almost forced your husband away from your grave. You know, I started to fear for him. The dead cling to the dead, and the living cling to the living, as it were. Christ is Risen, our joy!
* * *
Sophia, I’ll tell you honestly: no one bakes pancakes the way you baked them. Do you think I’m joking? No, in all seriousness. The schoolchildren who cleaned the church with us and then ate your pancakes with tea have already grown up. Now some of them have their own children, but every time they come, they recall how much they enjoyed your delicious pancakes!
https://preview.redd.it/bki5kxkh7f0d1.png?width=300&format=png&auto=webp&s=61aec1e80b6e09ef4450f1558ea47353e17ba303
What hard times we had! Now we have both a refectory and a parish house (with two floors), but back then we didn’t have anything. I still wonder how you always managed to cope with everything. Christ is Risen, our wise woman!
Praskovyushka [a diminutive form of the name Parasceva.—Trans.]! My angel who selflessly helped me in the altar. Today is Radonitsa and the eighth anniversary of your birth into eternity. You read by syllables, but you taught me so much! My friend, I am grateful to God that He brought me together with you.
Pray for me, mother, so that someday I too can reach the measure of your simplicity and learn to hope and trust in God the way you did. Of course, you know that your youngest daughter gave up drinking and came to the church, that she prays and often takes Communion. Today she is almost never out of the church, as was the case with you. So, both your daughters are in the church.
Your prayer does its job, and even after your death it does not lose its power. You cried your eyes out for your daughter. The time came, and she told me herself, “That’s it, Father, there there’s no turning back.” What a wise woman you are! Praskovyushka, Christ is Risen!
And here rests my old acquaintance, Vasily Ivanovich. In his old age a strange thing happened to him: he fell in love like a teenager. He started writing love poetry, but he was ashamed to reveal it to anyone. But he trusted me. He would come to the entrance of my house, sit down on a bench and wait for me to see him and come out. Then he would take out his notebook, and his “sonnets” would start flowing. How many times I invited you to the church, my friend! You kept promising, but... never came. Christ is Risen, Vasily!
Then the tombstones of rich people begin. There are three tombstones here, behind an imposing metal fence. That’s right, it’s a family of three people. Petrovich, an entrepreneur, a good man who drank. He didn’t give sufficient attention to his son who was hooked on drugs. No matter how much they tried to cure him it was all in vain. After the young man’s death, Petrovich’s wife took to drinking too, as if she had decided to die. They lived beside the church. Their house had once been built on church land. It was a big, beautiful “mansion” in which you could live for many years.
One day Petrovich came to our church while I was racking my brains over the problem of where to find money for a new roof. I desperately needed to have our winter church reroofed. A piece broke off from the destroyed bell-tower and pierced the roof in several places. And we had just plastered the walls inside, putting so much effort into it.
There was no one in the church except Petrovich and me. I went up to him and greeted him. I saw that he was having a very hard time. And who would be feeling otherwise after losing his only son? I addressed him:
“Petrovich, do a good deed in memory of Kostya [a diminutive form of the name Konstantin.—Trans.]. Do you see how the roof was broken by bricks from the bell-tower? Help us redo it as long as there is no rain so far. You’re a wealthy man, help me. I will also ask the parishioners—and we will do it all together. I’m afraid we’ll ruin the plaster inside after the rain starts.”
Petrovich was silent for a little while. His face was so kind, he really was a nice chap. Then he said:
“You know, father, I’ve been thinking about how I’m going to live now, after my only son’s death. And I’ve decided that now I will live only for myself. So, please don’t take it amiss, but look for other sponsors.”
And indeed, Petrovich started to live for himself: he bought a new car, had a holiday abroad, and began to dress well. And then Petrovich disappeared—we couldn’t find him for a whole week. One afternoon as I was walking to the church, a boy of about ten caught up with me:
“Father, go and see what it is! I keep looking and I can’t figure it out.”
I went with him, and he brought me to the back of Petrovich’s house, where there was a huge puddle. I looked where the boy was pointing and saw something like a swollen sugar bag floating in the puddle. But it didn’t seem to be a bag—it resembled a man. We called the police, and Petrovich’s daughter-in-law pulled him out of the puddle.
She said she saw a bullet hole in his forehead. But no one investigated it then.
I performed the funeral for him in the courtyard of our church. And three months later his wife passed away. Their “big mansion” stands empty.
Christ is risen, Petrovich! Don’t think that I bear a grudge against you. After you refused, another man came and offered his help—he took the church reroofing on himself. This is how things work with God—if not you, then someone else. You already know that. Poor Petrovich, nobody remembers you, but I don’t forget you.
https://preview.redd.it/4cofc1xj7f0d1.png?width=700&format=png&auto=webp&s=9b38988d17339f1ee040045051c118eb8e9deac9
How many years have I served at the grave of a young mother’s child on Radonitsa. She crossed a pedestrian crossing in Moscow when the traffic light was green. But a jeep suddenly appeared, knocking the child down. There must have been a tiny news report about you that day. As I understand it, the jeep driver was acquitted. But it doesn’t matter now whether he was acquitted or not. A momentary incident, but the mother’s mental distress has not abated for four years, she is sick at heart, and she still wears black.
How accustomed we are to these news reports: Someone has perished here, someone else has been killed in an explosion there, a plane crashed somewhere, etc. But all this means someone’s pain, tears, broken hearts, and orphaned children.
Mother, Christ is risen, don’t cry and start praying for your girl. Help her, while you have some strength.
There is a large marble slab with a portrait of a young man. Yuri worked at one of his father’s gas stations. About ten years ago, some drug addicts murdered him at work at night. I remember his mother weeping in church. We have a custom: If people make a contribution to the church in memory of their reposed loved one, order an icon, buy a candle stand or something like that, then we add the name of the person in question into our list for permanent commemoration.
I offered the same to Yuri’s close ones. On hearing this, his mother stopped crying. She came up to me and said quietly:
“Father, only don’t tell my husband. I’m afraid he won’t understand you.”
It was only then that it dawned on me: If he left his son alone to work at the gas station at night without security, he really wouldn’t understand me. His family does not set foot in church anymore.
Yuri, your closest ones betrayed you. But forgive them; You know, we don’t choose our parents. But I’m still wondering: How will they look into your eyes when you meet them in eternity?
Nobody comes to your grave on Radonitsa, but I remember you, your placidness, and sometimes pray for you. But forget them all. Christ is Risen, Yuri—you and I will rejoice together.
At the exit I met one of our believers from Moscow, who had buried her mother right around Pascha a year before.
“Earlier I couldn’t go to the cemetery—I felt uneasy here. But now I can sit here next to my mother’s grave, talk to her, and I feel so good—I don’t want to go away,” she said.
And we, Galochka, don’t “go away”. It only seems to us that the departed are somewhere far away from us, but in reality they are close, in our hearts, in our memory and our prayers. After all, and of course, you know it yourself, love (if we have it) does not disappear, even after death.
Archpriest Alexander Dyachenko
submitted by Yurii_S_Kh to SophiaWisdomOfGod [link] [comments]


http://activeproperty.pl/