I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/meepmeepbee
Originally posted to relationship_advice
My ex's (m31) new girlfriend (f23) is telling me I am causing problems in their relationship
Trigger Warnings: obsessive and controlling behaviors, possible harassment
Original Post - January 4, 2024
So first off, I feel like this is absolutely insane and I'm unsure what to do.
When I (f30) was 16, I met my first real boyfriend, Vince (m31), he was 17 at the time. We were together for a year and then broke up.
While me and Vince definitely aren't friends, we are still friendly. The extent of our interaction is yearly "happy birthday" and "happy new year" message, along with some small talk on that occasion. We follow each other on instagram and sometimes like each other's pics. This is it. Nothing more.
Anyway. When I was at a NYE party a few days ago I got a message from Vince saying: Heey, happy new year, I wish you all the best! To which I replied: Happy 2024, hope it treats you well!
Fast forward to this morning. I got a message on instagram from a girl I don't know and this it what it said: "Hey OP, I am not sure you know me, but I am Vince's girlfriend. We've been together for a while now and we are very serious about each other. I see that you message him and like his pics. I would appreciate if you stop that. We are going to get married and this sort of interactions are not appropriate anymore. I hope you understand that inserting yourself in our relationship causes turmoil and I cannot handle the stress and anxiety of it anymore, so I am kindly asking you to stop."
I was floored. I actually just started laughing. But I also got angry. She's misrepresenting things in her message. I checked out her profile. She's 23. I was a bit surprised by the age gap but whatever floats their boat I guess. She has plently of pics of them together, so it's legit, she's his girlfriend. Now, I'm not sure what to do here. I feel like this girl is imagining things. She's claiming me liking some of Vince's pics and wishing him happy birthday is causing turmoil in their relationship, she says I am inserting myself into their relationship. Me and Vince are not close at all. I didn't even know he is in a relationship.
I showed this to my fiancé and best friend. My fiancé advised I block them both and don't get involved in this drama. Which is definitely something I'm not opposed to. But my best friend told me I should maybe just send a screenshot of this to Vince. Because maybe he knows about it so it won't be a surprise to him. But if he doesn't maybe he'd want to know his girlfriend is reaching out to his ex with some strange demands.
So I don't know what to do here. I am absolutely not going to reply to her, but... should I let Vince know she messaged me or just let it be?
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Some-Life-6534 If you " aren't that close" then just respect her wishes and move on. She was polite and brought up concerns, however you seem to be having a weird clingy attitude for someone you're not close with. If you truly like your ex platonically and you wish the best for him, move on and don't stir the pot, it seems like you are prioritizing your feelings over theirs and trying to sabotage the relationship.

OOP We absolutely are not close, no quotes needed. I don't think I have a clingy attitude at all, sorry. Unless wishing someone happy new year and occasionally liking a of of their dog is clingy, so be it tho. How am I trying to sabotage their relationship? I literally didn't know Vince was in a relationship until this morning, as I stated in my post. And I haven't replied to her. How is this sabotage, really? XD

Frequent-Team556 wtf its been more than 10 years hahaha whats that girl doing??? why is she worried about an ex of ten years? does she have something else to occupy her mind with?
she´s clearly emotionally immature. she should talk to his bf not to you.

OOP 13. It's been 13 years. That's why I was so shocked, at first I thought it must be some kind of joke.

 
Editor’s Note: OOP has posted the update twice at the bottom of the original post and a separate post
Update - January 16, 2024
Original post
Since many have asked me for an update, here it is.
So I sat on this for a day or so, considering what I should do. There have been many comments pointing out how strange, insane and bad it is I stayed in contact with an ex, saying I must still have a thing for him. I honestly resent the implication, I see Vince much like a childhood friend, but some people were dead set on me being stuck on him. Which is not neccessairly bad - it just made me see lots of people see it this way, so his girlfriend might as well. So I decided to remove myself from the situation completely, I don't want to be a bad guy and a "homewrecker" in anyone's story.
I blocked her on Instagram and blocked Vince as well. And I also blocked Vince on Facebook. And I thought that was it.
A week passed and I get ANOTHER message from this girl, this time on Facebook. I didn't block her there because I didn't even know her full name. This message was more hostile, now accusing me of not removing Vince from my LinkedIn connections as well. And she felt that's how I'm still trying to "keep track" of him. I almost never use LinkedIn and I completely forgot I even had him on there. I have never spoken to anyone on LinkedIn, other than a recruiter.
I don't know. This made my anxiety go through the roof. I blocked her on Facebook and removed Vince from my LinkedIn connections. And this is it for now. I just want this to be over and I want her to leave me alone.
I hope she doesn't also check his MySpace account. /s
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Turbulent-Yam3617 Unblock him on everything. This is his problem not yours. Why are you jumping through hoops for this lunatic

OOP Look, I had people literally call me unhinged and saying keeping in contact with Vince is basically inviting drama in my life.
At this point, I just want to be left alone. Her last message actually kind of scared me and I don't want to be anywhere near that.

eleanorlikesvodka You need to tell Vince. This isn't your problem to fix. Show him all the messages and then tell him you want to cut contact because dealing with his girlfriend is not your responsibility. What if this girl shows up at your house next? Or your job? She sounds unhinged enough to pull that kind of shit.

OOP That is exactly what worries me. In her last message when she mentioned LinkedIn she also implied she now knows where I work and where I "can be reached".  

THIS IS A REPOST SUB – I AM NOT OOP.

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IDK if this belongs here, so just read the TL;DR at the end and be the judge of it.
Once upon a time there were no iPhones, no Wi-Fi, social media was Myspace, and YouTube was pretty much just a shell of its current self. The Internet had just hatched from its egg and needed time to grow into what it is today, but as a kid in the early 2000s that wasn't helpful when you wanted to play games now. And in school. Because your parents wouldn't let you play them on a weekday. And you didn't have a Game Boy. So there I was, bored to death in the 5th grade because I didn't like school much and that meant on Monday I'd have to wait five days to eventually get back to playing Star Wars Battlefront (the BETTER version, not the new trash) or Burnout 3.
As there was in most elementary schools, we had a computer lab. It was big enough to host one classroom of 40 students, and then some, and had state of the art Dell computers with Windows XP. For the most part, we were limited to a few educational PC games, Microsoft Office, and the Internet which was limited by the firewall to just the educational sites and Disney's Flash games. They did have The Oregon Trail, but I was too stupid at the time to play it more than 10% of the way through without losing my money or everyone dying. The computer lab was accessible before school between 7 and 8:30 AM, during two breaks (breakfast for 20 minutes, lunch for 40 minutes), and after school. The only problem was there was nothing exciting to play. I'd try every games website I knew, but the result was always the same.
Miniclip - *You cannot access this website*
FreeOnlineGames - *You cannot access this website*
Newgrounds - *You cannot access this website*
Okay fine, Nickelodeon? - *You cannot access this website*
I GUESS THEY DON'T LIKE SPONGEBOB.
One day my older brother the computer whiz finds out about how to download Flash games from around the Internet onto his local hard drive, which is as simple as taking the cookies from where they're stored onto your computer into an easily accessible location. Now we start building a repository of all our favorite games from the Internet, but the only way we can play them for now is on the weekends and through the Flash player. No matter. We have a repository, except at the time I didn't really know what else to do with it.
Honestly, I have my older brother to thank for a lot of this since he was really into computers and the Internet, because the next find was really important: Freewebs.com the free website hosting site. There's only so much a 10-year-old can do with this, but I spent hours designing and playing with the website. I'd substitute game time with free website designing. It wasn't necessarily a video game, so my parents didn't mind me on it, and I found out that it wasn't a blocked website at school so I'd just keep building websites in my free time. Once a website was finished, I'd build another, continuously improving and upgrading and designing with new combinations. It went on like that for about a week and I'd have 5 free websites built in that time. And then I found that you could upload Flash components on a page.
Now imagine, you're 10 years old, and you just found out that Pandora's box is standing right in front of you and you can do whatever you want with it. What do you do? Keep it to yourself? Tell an adult about this newly-discovered volatile power? Hide it and make sure nobody else can use it for evil?
Close, but not quite.
I embedded a healthy variety of flash games on that page, from the really meaty ones like Drag Racer V3 and the Murloc RPG to some miscellaneous light ones. This was a trial run, after all. I just needed to know if it worked and, if it did, how far I could push it. I did my work and went to sleep a little early that night, because curiosity got the better of me more than staying up past my bedtime did. That next day I walked into the computer lab right when it opened up, the only one to walk in, and went straight for the website to the page where I embedded the games. I remember being so anxious about whether or not it would work, and the uncertainty was nagging to me ever since the car ride to school. I just needed to know, would I be able to play those games?
To put it simply, there wouldn't be a story if they didn't work.
The games WORKED. Not all of them did, but THEY WORKED! Drag Racer V3 had a save function so all I could really do was play arcade mode (which was fine with me) but just about everything else worked as I expected them to! The problem I did find was space on the website filled up quite quickly, and I told myself that night I would embed more games on the other sites I built. I'd focus only on games that I could play casually, not lengthy ones like Murloc, because if I couldn't save then there was really no point in playing them. By the time I left the computer lab that morning, there were three other kids. This trend would continue no matter when I went.
I went home that night fixing everything I could. When I reached my perceived limit (about 20 small games on the main site) I would load more games to another site. Eventually I would move to fixing each website so they were separated by categories (action, shooter, racing, etc.) but as far as I was concerned, it was a problem for future me. I'd go to sleep early again, be the first and only one in the computer lab and be one of only a handful of kids that would stay there. That would go on for several weeks.
One day, the computer lab was busier than usual, which was fine because that was 10 kids and I was guaranteed a computer I could sit down and play at. A group of maybe 3 of those kids saw me playing on my websites and without asking for a link (just looking at the URL on my browser), they started playing. For now, it was just me and those three kids, and i really didn't think much of it. I went home that day just thinking about playing another game and switching up the website so I could navigate it easier. I went to sleep and got to the computer lab the next day, the first one there. A little while later, more kids started walking in. Day by day there were more kids coming in.
By the end of the week, it was half full. A week after that, no more than 10 computers were left vacant.
Eventually on the guestbook (because Freewebs had that to allow you to post comments on the site) I had commenters. Everything from fans of the website saying hi to kids who wanted to play a certain game from a certain site. It became a thing where I would read the requests during the day, make note of what games I could actually add on what website, then download them and replace them later that night.
Months later the websites I built packed that whole computer lab. I even remember a day when I walked in late and there were kids watching each other play when they couldn't get on a computer themselves. I couldn't even find one I could get on, but adolescent me felt a strange sense of accomplishment and pride seeing so many people recognize the work that it took to build something they could all enjoy.
Unfortunately over spring break, the school district also recognized my work and rewarded me with a firewall notification the Monday I returned. I was upset, but looking back on it I realized that I followed the rules so well that it caught the adult's attention. It was interesting because I wouldn't talk to anyone outside of me playing my games on the computer, but I felt like the mastermind sitting in plain sight who was the reason everyone was here. I don't think anyone connected the dots that I was the reason the computer lab was completely packed. It's probably not a great MaliciousCompliance, but it is a story I think about from time to time.
TL;DR - When I was 10, I couldn't play video games at home on the weekdays and my elementary school had a firewall that blocked most Flash game sites, so I put the games on an unblocked free website builder that eventually filled the whole computer lab with kids that wanted to play.

Lets just jump into this complicated and crazy journey thats been 15+ years in the making. I'll call myself D (27M) and lets call her R (F26) I'm going to try and keep this as vague as possible since this story is still in the making. This girl was/is the girl I'd marry in a heartbeat. We met as kids and even started dating a bit after high school. I actually met her when I moved into this new apartment with my family back in middle school. She was actually the girl next door. I still remember the first time I saw her and how I instantly had butterflies in my stomach. I'd never felt like this about someone and of course she just had to be beyond beautiful. Through out the year I kept wanting to go introduce myself but I just never grew enough of a spine to say anything. The year came and went with nothing ever coming from it. After that year, my life was just never the same. I "dated" a couple of girls in high school but it was more to just be able to say "I have a girlfriend" to my friends more than me actually wanting to be with them. I honestly always had R in the back of my mind. Keep in mind that this is the early years of FB and I decided to leave my Myspace behind and join the new wave. I made my account and added a few friends but I honestly never expected to find her on there. I remember seeing her profile and just admiring how beautiful she was but I still couldn't force myself to even add her... Eventually in junior year I logged on and saw I'd received a friend request and my jaw dropped when I saw it was from her. I quickly added her and waited to see if she would message me or something. Of course she didn't and after she finally made the first move. I decided to message her first. I asked if I knew her since she looked pretty familiar (playing it cool), She mentioned how she remembered me from middle school and decided to just add me. We talked for a while and eventually came to the topic about where she was living now. Turns out she had moved away from our state a year or two prior to this. I instantly felt like I'd gotten the wind knocked out of me. We talked every so often since school and sports got in my way of getting online. After a few more years of Off/On messaging, somehow we got into the topic of when we we're kids. I finally confessed that I'd really had a big crush on her and that's why I never said anything to her. Little did I know, SHE FELT THE SAME WAY!!! I swear, I could have punched myself and not have felt a damn thing from how numb those words made me feel. When I finally gained my composure, she admitted to avoiding me because she was to nervous to talk to me. Of course I played it off and kept pretending that she was just trying to make me feel better since I felt like I wasn't even in her league. She promptly pulled out the receipts and showed me the things she'd written about me. I was honestly ready to just die happy in that moment. Yet of course, now she lived hundreds of miles away and I'd just learned how to drive. Perfect timing no? NOT AT ALL! She was starting college and I did too. I'd also gotten a part time job to help pay for it but she was just a full time student. We'd literally call each other on the phone for no reason. Just to know we we're on the other side of the line made us feel a bit closer and more connected through the distance. She'd turned out to be even more perfect than I could have imagined. We decided to try a long distance relationship since up to that point, we'd basically been dating without really making it official. It started out well and we'd never fight. I'd eventually make promises to try and go see her but life and my parents made me realize that I was still too young to make that trip on my own. Hardly any hotel would rent a room to anyone under 21 anyways, I'd keep braking those time after time and even thought she told me she understood. I still felt like a bum about it all. Here is the girl of my dreams and yet I couldn't even keep my promises to her. We got to see each other a couple times when she came into town to visit her family that was here. I met some of her family from that and they were all very nice. These moments were cherished so much and we even took pictures together for the first time. It was perfect, and maybe that was the problem in my mind. I started to hurt from having the perfect person in my arms and now I didn't know when i'd see her again. I could tell it started to wear her our as well. Her focus on school was diminishing and she's keep mentioning how she wan't happy being so far away from me. We we're still so young at this time and we just weren't ready for this. I eventually broke things off with her over after winter break because I could tell I was affecting her grades in a negative way. I hated being the reason why she couldn't focus because she had such an amazing scholarship and I didn't want her to lose it because of me. Yes thats the way I made it seem in my mind but I also didn't think I deserved her. I called her one day and pulled the trigger. I'd explained all my reasons and it made things a bit easier for both of us. I promised to keep in touch every once in a while and that i'd eventually want to try things again. She agreed to wanting to try again in the future and things ended very amicably. After we made the decision of ending things, I basically wanted to just crawl in a hole and die. I focused my time on school and work but college just wasn't for me. I dropped out that semester and focused on nothing but work. This is where things start to spiral out of control. At this point instagram is still in its first few years and i've never been too much of a person to take pictures documenting my life so I hadn't made one. Unknown to me, one of my coworkers (lets call her B) did. We were all very good friends and she was a very attractive girl but I'd never event thought of dating her. A few months after the break up, B starts to be a bit more friendly to me. Again, I'm still not a very confident guy and my heart still hurts from R. So I never took it as flirting or anything. She was big into taking pictures of herself and her friend who worked with us. One day she just came and sat next to me during my lunch break and took a picture hugging me. I didn't pay much mind to this but she added it to her Instagram and I had no idea. Eventually I caught on to her flirting and we started dating. It only lasted about 3 months because we just didn't click and my heart just wasn't in it. Many years went by after this and I kept trying to keep tabs on R but she had blocked me on FB. I had no idea why and just kept trying to say it was to be expected but I'd search her name up 2 times a month to see if she'd ever unblock me (Yes I have the proof of that too). Nothing ever came up. Eventually she'd deactivated her account and there was no way to keep in touch. (i could tell because I searched her using my friends accounts) I kept trying for a few more years and eventually tried to get over it. Yet I'd still search every few months. I eventually made an Instagram. Fast forward a year after that and guess who's being suggested as a friend due to so many mutual friends. Yup, its R. My heart skipped a beat when I saw her profile picture. Her account was set to private but her bio let me know she'd moved back to the state and actually back to our hometown where I lived. I hesitated from even requesting to follow her. I talked about it for days with my closest friends and they all suggested that I add her. They all insisted on telling her how I felt after so many years. Either she would feel the same or she wouldn't. That way i could have some closure and try and move on. I agreed to I requested a follow and she surprisingly accepted and followed me back. We got into small talk and she eventually asked me why i'd added her. I confessed why my feelings again and explained how long i'd been looking for her. She then hit me with "I have boyfriend". I asked her how long they'd been together and she said "A few years". Of course it was to be expected and it somehow made me feel better and happy for her. I was heartbroken again but I felt like this time I could get passed it (For real this time). I mentioned how I was happy for her and that explains why she'd blocked me so long ago. She corrected me and told me it wasn't due to her boyfriend but the fact she saw the picture of this girl hugging me just a few months after the break up. She had cried and felt broken because I had promised to come back. I tried explaining how B and I weren't together in that picture. R asked if I had ever dated her and I had to admit that I had but only after almost a year from the break up. She explained how that picture made her feel and how she thought I'd moved on so she did the same. She admitted she still loved me but she was with this new guy and she was comfortable with him. We caught each other up a bit more about our lives and we tried to stop talking after a few days. I honestly tried my best to keep my feelings to myself from then on but it wasn't working. Eventually we really stopped talking because I didn't want to come between them but it was a bit too late. She realized she maybe didn't love him the way she did me after another 6 months of fighting it. They broke up while R and I weren't talking. Last thing I'd heard from her, she was with him. A few months after the break up she texted me, wishing me a happy birthday. I wondered why she was doing that and she admitted they had parted ways. She told me she wasn't ready for anything and needed time tho. I respected that decision and eventually she added me as a friend on Snapchat. We didn't really talk much but would often watch each others stories. We eventually started talking as friends again but that didn't last long. We started flirting and everything again. It felt good on my side but she seemed very weird. It was almost as if she still wasn't sure this is what she wanted. I tried asking and she accepted she was very lost in her life still. Her job, new place, and family were all a bit too much for her at the time. We kept flirting here and there but nothing really came of it. She asked me for time again while she focused on her career and personal life and I obliged. We come to the present day and a lot of things changed. She's back in school looking for a new career path. I'm in another city within the same state but about 5 Hours away. I moved for a really good job opportunity but I'd honestly drop everything to be with her again. I'd move back in an instant to be with her again but I know I shouldn't. I need a very real commitment from her before I agree to anything as much as it pains me to say it. It might even take a year of a distant relationship because we can't expect either one of us to move to the other city so quickly no matter how we feel. It's been so long and even thought the spark is there, can we really be sure we'd work out this time? I miss her and love her to my very core. I'd still do anything and give anything for her but I can't do it for nothing. So far i've proven to be there anytime and give her the space she needs or anything she needs for that matter. Now I think I shouldn't expect any less from her too. I'm not sure what to do because as much as I know that and say it. She's added me on social media again and we started to just talk a bit. A few weeks later she blocked me again out of no where and left me speechless. I had already start planning my exit strategy from the company in my mind just in case she asked because of how much I love her. Yet I doubt she'd do the same. I'm honestly so lost because when we meet in person, all the love and passion is there but it feels like life has done everything to keep us apart. Any advice would be welcome...

Sorry for coming off as an asshole but, TL;DR Nfriend tried to get sympathy after giving none and leaving me in misery, and the door slammed the opposite way. (Lots of spite and sadness considering a really good friend of mine died and she used him like a prop to Hoover me)
Okay, so I think I wrote on here like last year or something like that about my old friend of 15 years who ghosted on me. Pretty sure shes a Narc, considering all our mutual friends but a few blocks me immediately when I tried to find out what the hell happened.
She had all the control. She could contact me whenever she wanted, but I was barred from doing the same. She had me in a box like a toy, while I was resenting her for it. When she did discard me, the same day I told her "Fuck it. We're done!" And I figured that was the end, even though it hurt like shit, right.
Mind you, 3 weeks after her discarding me my daughter passed away, and she couldn't be bothered to even tell me "sorry about your kid, but still F U!" Or any of the sort, right? It was really painful to know that the person I wanted most to comfort me refused to be there when I needed them, and i really think she was happy to do that too. Her flying monkeys would tell me otherwise, but I knew...
Anyway, its been close to two years, with all her stuff still blocking me (I had a reason to actually check but I'll explain), and I haven't heard from her at all.
Well, I recently had a Spinal/epidural surgery about three days ago. I was home on Thursday night chilling in the bed with a spinal headache, rewatching a bunch of Narcissist videos out of the blue and couldn't figure out why I was doing that since my Narc was long gone or whatever. So, I was watching a particular series on my laptop by a dude named Assc Direct, who is really good at explaining how and why narcs do what they do, when this phone number I dont know calls.
At first I hit the f-you button cause I didnt know the number, then it called right back and I did it again, then it rang right back and I hit it again. Then I thought, "Wait, that's not a telemarketer or whatever. They dont call back like that."
So I call the number back, cause it might've been anyone really:
"Hello." "Hi, someone called me from this number?" "Yeah, it's me, $%÷>@"
At this point is when I looked on my lp and start looking her up and see shes unblocked me from EVERYTHING! Like, facebook, instagram, fucking Myspace, shit I haven't messed with in years. Completely unblocked from it all. Weird vibes, yeah? Like, why is she calling me, and why can I see her shit?
"Are you still there?" She asks after I'm too quiet "Oh. Yeah, I'm here." "Well, so and so died." "...OHhhh..."
It sounds like shes cried before calling me or whatever, but its weirding me out. I understand why shes crying cause So and So was like our best friend too. All three of us were inseparable for years, until I was discarded. So and so got bad into drugs.over the years, and Nfriend enabled him for the entire time and probably beyond after I was gone. He actually started treating me like shit all the time because of her and I never stood up for myself cause they were my friends. But, unfortunately, I wasnt surprised he died. I was surprised she'd be the one to want to tell me. Like why not have someone else tell me?
Oh, cause she specifically told everyone not to mention it (where I could end up seeing it in particular), which I found out later when I questioned old friends about So.and So. Hmmmm......
"Yeah, I wanted to let you know So and So died, and I thought you wanted to know." I was quiet for a second, then she ask if I was there again, and then I said, "Oh... well, do me a favor and lose my number. " I hung up the phone and blocked her number, but only after I texted her "sorry about So and so. But I dont want to talk to you anymore."
Idk what made me say this to her without thinking, but I was already going through and blocking all the accounts I knew of hers that she just opened up to me during the call. It was a hollow, emotionless decision I didnt quite understand completely and it took me until today to understand why I did it.
I haven't been able to (not like I've wanted to) contact her for almost 2 years now and for that time she just went on with her life like I was nothing and didnt give a shit that i lost someone close to me. All i had was my husband to comfort me, and she couldn't be bothered or found. I went through all the emotions of loss with not one but two people, while she galloped off and did whatever with whoever and acted like it was my fault for our friendship breaking up, when I still didnt even know what her problem could have been or if it were just the fact I got boring to her.
Like, I'm still so pissed she even bothered to bother me. Like, why are you here if I didnt send for you bitch (my mom told me to say this to myself every day until I got over it. My mother doesnt like people who mess with her kids, and she can be so mean!)
So and So had passed away that morning and suddenly wanted me to comfort her. SHE didnt want anything to do with ME until SHE wanted something from ME. SHE turned all our mutual friends against me, but then expected to be her friend when she needed it.
I didnt go back to my video til today when I got home and saw that I had watched Narcissism videos and then I realized she was actually hoovering me.
It's the holidays. Someone became ill or died. Crying voice over the phone but no actual display of said emotion. Lack of talking and more of speaking Pulling heart strings. Trying to coax curiosity out of me about our "relationship" Seeing if I still give a shit about said "relationship" Only allowing communication on her terms/controlling behavior. Being the official LAST grade A supply she still had left in the world and wanting to tap into that old supply. Karma hitting the Narc hard enough to wanna see if they can get back in.
And I was mad when I realized what was happening. I've waited two years for an explanation or even an "I'm sorry I became a shitty friend at a shitty time" apology, and in the end I didnt even want it anymore. I was so freaking mad at her for only coming at me because i was.finally useful for her. The fact she thinks I'm only in this planet for her is enough to keep me pissed and never wanting anything to do with her again
I slammed that door back in her face and I'm really proud of myself for doing so. Idk if anyone can relate to the feeling of victory, but this is what it feels like to me. Or maybe I am crazy and lost my mind, but I'd rather enjoy this.
Now she gets to know how it feels to have the one person you thought you could count on just walk away like nothing.

I don't expect anyone to read this. I don't know why I'm posting it. It's long af. Even the tl;dr is long...I guess i just couldn't let it stay with me alone.
I feel guilty about feeling depressed. I've had it much better than a lot of people and I want to go to therapy for it, but I'm afraid to because I feel like I'm wasting their time. There are some pretty fucked up things that happened to me that probably warrant counseling, but I'm not going to mention them here. The main subject of this post is the only person I've told about them. I want to die. Not exactly suicidal, I don't think I'll do it myself. So i can't even bring myself to use one of the suicide prevention chats because I feel like I'll be wasting their time, taking the place of someone who needs to more. But I need it too. I need help. I need someone.
TL;DR - I had a good home life and was well taken care of. I started my career off well after college and am getting into the real world. I lack true friends and have never had a solid love life. I felt alone and suicidal, but I got through it. Now that I'm out of college I started longing for someone to love and be loved by again. I met someone through reddit and made a connection. We both got each other and could open up about things we couldn't tell anyone else. I fell in love with her. Some times she treated me like she loved and others like she wanted nothing to do with me. She broke my trust and I caused her to break everything off with me. She's blocked me and I have no way to reach her now. I regret so much, but she still has my heart. I'm alone again and more vulnerable than I've been in a long time. I'm trying to resist it.
I grew up with both my parents. We never went hungry. I went to a good school and made good grades. I went to college and got a degree is a STEM field. I graduated recently and started work making good money. I have no debt or student loans.
I've always been strong, or at least that's what others saw. I have no one I can talk to. I lost most of my friends from middle and high school due to lives going different directions. Even then, I don't think I ever had any that I could open up with this about.
There's an expectation with me. I'm the guy that makes everyone else laugh. I can take any joke, I was impervious. But it eats away at me. I could take the jokes and the insults because I'd put up the strongest walls. But I built my walls too high. And now I have no one.
I'm at a transition point in my life. I'm just starting my career (4 months in) and working with new people. I'll smile, I'll laugh, how can I be depressed? I'll take a joke, I'll laugh. I'll take an insult, I'll laugh. It doesn't hurt me... right? They see I can take it so the jokes get harder. The insults more serious. I can take it. I have to.
I'm alone.
If you asked who my be friend was, I couldn't tell you. I feel like I have no friends. Friends are people you can talk to, right? They care about how you feel, right? They'll be there for you. They'll listen to you. They'll stay up late comforting you. They'll go out of their way for you.
I don't have those.
I'm a virgin, I've barely had a girlfriend. I feel like no one has loved me and no one will.
My first love interest, and I hate to admit this, was from playing world of warcraft. This was back during the times of myspace, end of 8th to the beginning of 9th grade for me. There was a girl a year older than me that I and some irl friends played with.
Long story short: she said she liked me, we chatted over AIM, she posts on myspace how she met the most amazing guy at the county fair, I see it and am heartbroken, a week later she comes back to messaging me, I ignore her.
Next was a girl i had a crush on before the WoW thing. We had a bunch of classes together and became friends. She started dating a new student and so I didn't try anything. Eventually he cheated on her and they broke up. After that, she got closer to me and basically asked why I hadn't asked her out. We went to a dance and dated all taking up about 2 weeks. Within 2 days of us "officially dating" I could tell she didn't want to be with me anymore. From the time that I wanted her to our break up was about or a little over 3 years.
Next is one that I still feel bad about from time to time. After that break up, there was another friend who was apparently interested in me. She got closer to me after that breakup. It made me feel like someone still cared about me, so I kinda just went along with it. I never told her I liked her or wanted to date her, but I let her bake me cookies and play with my hair. I came to my senses and decided I couldn't lead her on like this. But I didn't tell her that. I just started avoiding her until she stopped trying. I wish I had apologized to her.
Soon after, I graduated and started getting ready to go off to college. I left out some stuff about losing friends and troubles within my family, but suffice to say I was feeling alone. I was excited for a new start. I imagined the new friends i would make. Maybe I'd meet someone and fall in love.
College was tough. I went to a high ranked school for engineering and didn't have the free time to go and do things that I thought I would. I didn't drink until I was 21, I didn't go to parties, I didn't like working on homework or studying in groups. I hated having a roommate (not that I hated him, I just didn't like sharing my space like that). I was always kind of introverted, but the extent escalated.
I found a group of friends, most of them older. Some would graduate and move on and newer people would join in. I wasn't close with all of them, there were like subsets within our group. We were into nerdy things like games and anime. You get the people who are extreme into that stuff who were too much for me, then the more moderate ones who I was closer with. My subset of friends liked to go and do things together. Nothing crazy, more like late night breakfast. The whole groups would hang out all day on Saturdays and get dinner on weekdays.
This went on for the first 3 years. During that time I got a solo apartment, changed majors, and became suicidal. I stopped hanging out with my friends as much without much of an explanation. At the end of the 3rd year, they had all graduated except 2 who were younger than me. The larger friend group had pretty much dissipated. We had stopped doing the dinners a year prior and were no longer meeting on Saturdays. Nearly a year went by of hardly seeing my 2 remaining friends. They lived together in that time and saw each other every day. Towards the end of my 4th year (I ended up with a 5th year part time because of the major transfer) I was seeing them more regularly. Throughout my 5th year we would hang out every few weeks at least and by the end of the year we would get together weekly or more. I was under stress between finishing strong and finding a job, but that eventually worked out.
In those 5 years I never found someone who I felt cared about me. I never found some one I cared about. I didn't even try to date. I didn't want that on my plate. I'd forgotten what it was like to love and feel loved. I had the passing crush, but I mean like 1 day and it was gone kinda thing. I'd had the opportunity to hookup, but that's not what I wanted. Maybe it a product of my upbringing, but I feel like I need an emotional connection, like I need to love someone to be physically intimate with them. I didn't even care. It wasn't on my mind. I had more important things. And when I finished, and I knew where I was going, the longing to love and be loved returned.
And that's what got me to where I am now. I started working in June. Because of the circumstance of when I started, I couldn't really do anything for the first month. The loneliness set in. I had a habit of when I got lonely to go to sexting subreddits. I'd chat with someone and get off on it, just so I'd have the illusion of a connection. Usually it was a guy on the other end pretending to be a girl, but I didn't care that much, I just needed a win... no matter how small...
It was late August and I had the urge to do that again, but this time I found something different. I found a new subreddit called GentleFemdomPersonals. This introduced me to the GentleFemdom and RoleReversal subreddits. And these opened my eyes to something I had fantasized about, but didn't think anyone else had interest in. I had known of femdom in regards to BDSM, but that's not what I wanted. I wanted a loving relationship. I wanted her to take control of me, but to kiss my gently, to play with my hair, to compliment me and tell me I was beautiful and that she loved me. And so, I made a post.
It quickly skyrocketed within the subreddit, at least proportionally. By the next day with was switching between the highest and 2nd highest male post. And I got no responses. A few days later I gave up and checking for responses. And then then Monday comes around and I wake up for work to a Kik notification. It had been sent at 1:30 am. I thought I was too late, but i responded anyway. Usually these things are people expecting immediate gratification. To get off and never talk again. But when I was at work, she replied. And we talked. And later that night she messaged me again. I was in the shower at the time and she asked what I was up to. So I told her. She asked me to show her. I don't know why, but I did. It was like I felt loved, and wanted, and talking to her I felt a connection I thought for sure it would be a one time thing and that I'd lose her after that, but we did talk more after and the next day too.
She told me that she was talking to other subs and that she intended to only keep one that she connected with. She chose me. We began chatting and sexting regularly, only I sent pictures/videos though she did give me a verification image. And after what was far too short of a time to make this decision, I had fallen in love for the first time in over 6 years.
We began talking about more serious things in our lives, opening up to each other. She seemed to get scared, telling me that she couldn't do this, that I wanted more than she could give. (side note: I was central time and she was west coast, so we were pretty long distance for any real relationship) She stopped talking to me for a day. It was agony. I still messaged her, but it was clear I was alone again. But she came back. We talked some. After a few days we were talking like nothing had happened. It was back to normal and we talked about wanted to meet each other.
I told her how I was going to be near where she lived at the end of that month (Sept now) for a family thing. We were so excited. We made plans. I was going to be near there on Wednesday and Thursday. I extended my trip through the weekend and got a hotel closer to where she was. ( I didn't have an exact address). And on Sunday the week of the trip she said she was sorry. That she couldn't do this. That I was too good for her. The she loved me and wished me the best. And she was gone. I had been blocked. I tried to reach her, but I couldn't.
I still had to make the trip... I was going for the family thing anyway. I put on a brave face and I hid my pain like always. I loved her. I fantasized about trying to find her. I was going to. But I couldn't bring myself to do that. That was too far. If she didn't want me, what was the point anyway. When I finished the family thing and spent the weekend near where she lived, I mostly just stayed in my hotel. I tried going around and exploring, but seeing the happy people around me make my heart break further. On my last night I worked up the courage to try. I got a text spoofing app and sent her a message. I told her I was going to a particular bar. (by the name of it, it seemed like a sign. I'd have to explain a lot more of what we had to talked about to tell you why, but it seemed significant somehow).
She didn't reply. She didn't come see me. I was alone.
In the morning I used the app to text her again that I was heading to the airport to go home. That I was sorry and that I would tell her goodbye when I got home.
She replied.
She said I had nothing to be sorry for and that she would read my goodbye. ( it was going to be through reddit.)
So I went home. And I thought the entire time of what to say. And when I finally got back I wrote a goodbye. I asked her if I could ask some questions first. I don't remember what they all were, but things along the lines of why she did what she did, what she meant by things she said. I never really sent my goodbye. We kept talking.
Eventually she got Kik back and we talked through there. Then after about a week she finally unblocked my phone number. Things were back to normal. She told me how she was working that night when i told her I went to the bar. How she wanted to leave work and come find me, but was scared that I wouldn't really be there. She said she wished she had known I was leaving as early as I did the next day because she was going to have her friend take her to see me.
And I cried.
If I had looked for her, I would have found her. If i had tried, I could have seen her. And I'll never know what could have been.
But we were talking again. And things were back to normal. Things were better than before. But sometimes she would go silent. But I'd keep talking, trying to be there for her and to help. I would have bad days and I would tell her about them and she would comfort me. And I felt loved. She'd tell me she wanted me. We'd talk about things we wanted in life. We'd talk about weird things that we couldn't tell anyone else because they wouldn't understand. But we understood each other. We were there for each other when no one else could be. And it was perfect. And then she'd go silent. And she'd come back, then silent, and back. And every time I felt like I was failing her. And she said she was hurting me and that she was sorry and that I didn't deserve this, but I didn't care. I loved her. I would take the pain. I would be there for her when no one else would. Because I loved her. Any time I spent talking to her was worth it.
But at time I felt so unloved too. I never seemed like a priority to her. She would say we would talk later after work. I would wait all day and never hear from her. It seemed like I was only worth the time in between. And then she'd apologize, explain to me what was wrong. (She did have some serious things happen) And I would forgive her, and comfort her. But it just kept happening. And it was never me that was the more important thing that she needed to do that night. If anything else came up, she would do that instead. And it hurt, but the time with her was worth it. And I told her about how i felt and she was sorry and would try to be better for me. And she did try... But it didn't get much better.
And Thursday night she disappeared again. She didn't reply to me again until 30 or so hours later when I asked her to just say something if she was there. And I told her how I felt. And she said she was sorry, that she didn't want to ignore me, but she just did. And I said we needed to have a call and talk about it. She said that she thought so too. That it would be good to hear my voice. But that it would have to wait because she was going out with her friends soon. That we would talk tomorrow.
And so yesterday came. We texted in the morning, but she was still tired and had some stuff to do before work, so we didn't call then. She said she'd definitely call me so we could talk later. That she'd call during work if she had to. And to her credit she did. But i didn't know when. So I just sat there waiting for her. But it wasn't fair. I wouldn't be able to talk about what I needed to because they were serious subjects. Not the kind of thing we could discuss while she was at work.
So we talked a little more light heartedly. For about 5 minutes. And she said, sorry one sec, and she hung up. She texted me saying she'd try to call me when she got home. So i waited 3 more hours till she texted me saying she was home. I welcomed her home and asked if she was gonna call me. She didn't reply. So an hour later I asked if she was there. I tried calling and it rang. Then she texted back "Sorry I'm here I was falling asleep already". I asked if she still wanted to talk and she didn't reply. I called again and it went straight to voicemail. I figured her phone maybe died, that happened a lot and she couldn't charge it from her bed. When that happened she would message me on reddit to tell me so I messaged her here. And I had a thought. When your phone is off Kik messages g don't get delivered, they get stuck on sent. So i messaged her there. My messages got delivered.
Her phone hadn't died. She had put it on do not disturb. And that broke me. I had trusted her with so much. And she couldn't even say that she didn't want to talk. She just tried to trick me into thinking her phone had died.
In the morning I texted her saying we needed to talk. There was no reply. An hour later I asked her to please not ignore me. She said she wasn't ignoring me, but that she needed to leave for work soon and that she was already late. That she would talk to me in a bit.
i didn't believe it. My trust was shattered. So 3 hours passed with no word from her. And I was sad, I was upset, I was mad, and I was crying. I simply sent her "Liar". And she replied, saying that she would leave me alone for good.
And so here I am. Broken, empty, numb. In the time that I spent with her the darkness and loneliness had gone away. I felt happy. There was something I wanted in life. If I had just been more patient and understanding, then she might still be here. I skipped a lot, but it felt so right. We opened up to each other about things no one else knew about us. She told me she cared about me. She told me she didn't know how she would have gotten by in the last month without me being there for her. And she would disappear without warning. It was like she wanted a toy rather than a person. She only seemed to care when it was convenient.
I know there's that saying that you shouldn't be sad when you lose someone you love. That they lost someone who loved them, but you lost nothing.
But I loved her. And we never even truly met.
I had to say goodbye, before I ever even had the chance to say hello.

I was around 10/11 at the time that this took place. The internet was just becoming a main stream thing along with instant messengers, mostly AIM. IIRC, it wasn't even called AIM yet, it was just AOL IM. (AIM was a really popular online IM system that everyone used until myspace came along)
I lived a few streets away from my cousin "Cate", who was also 10 or 11, and we spent a lot of time together playing around on AIM. It was brand new, and being so young, we mostly sent stupid messages to boys we liked or played pranks on our friends. This was long before the internet was considered dangerous, so we really had no idea about the precautions you should take when talking to strangers over the internet. I dont ever remember talking to strangers before this happened, though we may have entered a chat or something at some point.
Anyways, one day we were in Cate's basement messing around on AIM when someone with the screen name "AskJeeves123" sends us a message. I dont remember what he said at first, but I know we sent some messages back and forth. It must have been obvious that we were kids by the way we were typing and our spelling, etc. Then I remember him asking where we lived and Cate and I both looked at eachother. We thought it was weird and were kind of creeped out, so we gave him a fake address. The next message he sent was Cate's ACTUAL address and asking about her parents. Still being young and dumb, we kept talking to him but gave all fake info. At some point, we must have mentioned that there were two of us messaging him because he then asked how old I was. We told him that we were both teenagers, and after a few minutes we logged off and went to play something else.
I went to Cate's almost every day, and every day after school we went on AIM. AskJeeves continued to message us, sometimes saying things that he shouldnt have known. For example, I remember him telling us that Cate's dad wasn't home when he had just left. And I remember him telling us that we were in the basement, which we were. We always messaged back with false information. We thought it was so cool to talk to a random person through the computer, even though we always got creepy vibes from him. This went on for a few weeks I think.
Then one day when we were online talking to AskJeeves, Cate's mom looked over at the screen. I dont remember what he had said, but I know she scooted us away, messaged him for a few minutes, and then told us not to talk to him anymore. Her mom also told my dad about whatever she said to him, and must have felt that something wasn't right. My dad didnt pay any attention to it, but we agreed not to talk to AskJeeves anymore.
A few days or weeks later ( I dont remember), we were online again and decided to be rebellious and unblock AskJeeves. I remember him stating Cate's address again, and that combined with Cate's mom's warning, scared us into re-blocking him. We were kind of creeped out, but didnt want to get in trouble for messaging him, so we didnt tell anyone.
Now is where it gets scary- During the early mornings around 5 or 6, my mom would take my dog out for a run for about an hour. I would still be asleep in the house, while my dad would also be sleeping in his room on the other side of the house. My dad sleeps through everything-he literally slept through an earthquake in this same house. We lived in a really safe area, and my mom didnt always lock the door when she went out for her run. I don't know if it was locked on this day or not. But after my mom got home, she woke me up to get ready for school and my dad was still asleep. I got out of bed, went downstairs into the kitchen and saw a piece of paper on the table near where I always sat. I got closer to the table,and saw that it was a ripped piece of notebook paper with "AskJeeves" written on it. I was scared out of my mind, and asked my mom (and later my dad) if she had left it there. Neither knew what I was talking about. I was too scared to say anything and didnt want to get in trouble, so I kept my mouth shut. All I knew was that this person was inside of my house while I was asleep- I assume when my mom and dog were out for their run.
Next day, I'm at Cate's again and I tell her what happened. We decide to handle it ourselves (again, 10 years old) and unblock AskJeeves to yell at him. As soon as we unblocked him, he said something along the lines of "I saw you sleeping". We logged out immediately and never unblocked him. We never told our parents and even though I was scared to be alone after that, nothing else ever happened.
So AskJeeves, let's not meet again (?)

I need some help. This is going to be very long, and anyone who's patient enough to read all of this, I'm thanking you in advance. I'm currently in a very twisted, and I feel soon to be extremely dangerous relationship.
My boyfriend (we'll call him John) and I have known eachother since I was 13, him 18 (I am currently 20). We met online when he sent me a friend request on myspace. I lived and still live in Maine, him in North Carolina. We had an incredible amount of things in common, and still do. We got along tremendously well. We would always talk about wanting to meet eachother, and what could grow between us if we did. We continued this online friendship for years, online messenging and skyping eachother. We both had our own relationships, the distance and age difference in the way of anything that could happen between us. Somehow we still managed to stay friends all of those years.
Six years later, we got our first chance to meet one another, and I had bought tickets for myself to fly down and spend a week with him. We were both beyond estatic. I literally prepped for the trip a month in advance, picking out the perfect clothes to wear, the way I would style my hair, my makeup, just everything. Finally the day arrived to go see him. I was so overwhelmed with nervousness and the idea of finally seeing this boy I had been so close with for so long. When I arrived in North Carolina, it felt like a dream, just absolutely surreal. However, my happiness did not last long.
Before I continue, some background- Both John and I had some very personal things in common. I struggle with PTSD that stemmed from my childhood, and he has some as well. We also bonded over having social anxiety.
When finally meeting John, I realized the extent of his psychological trouble. I learned that his social anxiety was so intense, he never moved out of him moms house. He dropped out of high school and attained his GED, but never attended university, and wasn't planning on it. I also learned that he had severe bipolar disorder. He explained he was on a new medication, so he might act a bit 'off'.
The first two days went by amazingly well, except for noticing how agitated he would get about things. Out of nowhere he would get angry at something, and if I didn't understand why, he would go sit in a chair and stare at me with a terrifying look on his face.
The third day, he had taken a nap, so I decided I would go for a short walk. I had never been to the south before, and thought it would be nice. Not wanting to wake him, I left the house, telling his mom where I was going, and after 5 minutes of walking I see him sprinting full speed towards me. I didn't think anything of it, and he didn't say anything when we caught up to each other. I smiled at him and held his hand while we walked back.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, he takes my glasses off, looks at me, and slaps me hard across the face. I was in such shock, I just stood there for a moment, the tears slowing starting to well in my eyes. Because of my PTSD, certain things can cause panic attacks, and that's exactly what started happening. I started crying and ran back to the house, panicking and not knowing what to do. Long story short, he apologized for what he did, said that it was a bad neighborhood and he was really scared for me.
Unfortunately, I forgave him, and no, I didn't leave earlier than planned.
For some reason, leaving was hard. He seemed emotionless, while I was in tears the entire way back to Maine. I don't know why. I always considered myself to be a no bullshit type of girl. I just don't get it.
When I got back, he started acting strange. He would ask me about things I had already told him, and would try to find little things or mistakes I had made, so he could call me a liar. It was as if he was looking for a reason to call me a bad person, but never wanted to break up with me. Eventually, however, I left him. Basically told him to fuck off, and that I never wanted to talk to him again. I blocked him from my phone, and all online sites. We didn't speak for a long time, but I decided later on to unblock him, he of course messaged me, and it ended in a fight. This happened a couple times through the course of a year.
At the end of this year, we started talking for real this time. He said he had made some real life changes, and truly missed and loved me. That I was the only girl to ever see how good of a person he was. Even though when I first saw him it was nearly a disaster, there were still beautiful moments I couldn't forget. He was still the person I had always known. I told myself that he was going through a lot of things at the time. This went on for a couple weeks, him and I talking, and being as close as we were before I saw him the first time, if any change at all, us being even closer. It felt genuine, and a part of me knows that what he felt/feels IS genuine, he just had/has severe, severe issues.
We decided we would try again, and I went to go visit him. To put it simply, the second visit was everything I wanted the first visit to be. We got along so much better, and he finally seemed exactly like the person he was online.
We became so close, that he decided he wanted to move in with me in Maine. I agreed, so I flew him out here (I paid for all the tickets) and got him settled in with me. Of course since he cannot work due to his anxiety/bipolar disorder, I have to pay for everything for him. His medications, his food, groceries, haircuts. I go to classes at a university during the week while he stays at home playing video games.
He's been living with me for 10 months now. We have created such incredible memories. Road trips, inside jokes, our shared love of the same video games and music. I have unfortunately grown very attached to him. In fact, I feel like I'm actually in love with him. However, his violent outrages do happen once in awhile. If I get mad at him, he'll shove me. He's choked me to the point of passing out while we've had sex, and after telling him he can't because of my PTSD, he said that he shouldn't be sexually limited because I made the stupid mistake of being around people that would cause the PTSD. He has hit/slapped me before because I talked back at him, or raised my voice at him. He has literally told me that if I leave him, he would kill me. Even though I literally do everything I can for him, and just want him to be happy.
These things happen periodically. But when they're not happening, I feel like the happiest girl alive. Key word FEEL. I feel as though I can't live without him, as if I would have a piece of me missing. We're so close, and we've been through so much. I know it's stupid. I'm aware of how idiotic and absolutely insane this sounds. You don't need to tell me. There's nothing you could call or claim me to be that I haven't already told myself before.
I want him to leave. But in order to do so, I would have to fly him back to his state, and I don't know how I'd do that without him knowing what was going on. I'm scared of conflict, and I'm scared of a crazy eruption that involves police. But I'm also scared of how dangerous things can get if I let it continue.
Please help me. Not only do I need advice, but even just you hearing my story does more than I could ever just type out on a keyboard. Thank you.

I am in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend who I have been dating for 8 months tomorrow. I met her in high school and started dating her this summer. Everything was flawless. I was on top of the world every time I was with her and thought life couldn't get better. She has made the long drive to see me a few times, but has been unable to come this semester. We talk on the phone all the time and text each other multiple times per day. I make sure to send her something sweet every night so that when she wakes up she can start her day on a positive message. A couple weeks ago, I try looking at her profile on Facebook and am unable to find her. I am not on Facebook very often so I did not know when it happened. I found out that she was blocking me and when I confronted her about it; she said that she hadn't been on Facebook either. A couple days later, I tell on of my friends and he thinks it is strange, and mentions that he is friends with her on Facebook. When we look at her profile, it says that she is in a relationship with someone else.
I try calling her to ask her about it. She claims that she is on a scavenger hunt and won't answer calls, only texts. I tell her that is severely important, and that she needs to talk to me. After a couple hours, she gets home and calls me. She says that one of the items on the list for points was to be dating someone in your group. I laugh it off and tell her to change it. She was about to change it when her laptop died. The battery charger was supposedly in her car that she totaled. She says that she will change it in the morning using her mom's laptop. The next night, she hasn't changed her status yet. She says that she will change it the next time that she is logs on. A couple days go by and she tells me that she has not been able to get on Facebook. One night she calls me and she is taking a Facebook quiz. I tell her to change her status while she is on, but by the time I told her, she said that her laptop was already turned off and that she was going to bed.
I confront as to why she has not unblocked or changed her status yet. She says that she has not blocked me; someone else must have gotten on her account and blocked me. She is now getting very upset every time I mention Facebook. She tells me that she still loves me and never wants to lose me. I start to lose my mind. I ask my brother to text her cousin to see if she can find anything out. I remembered her ex-boyfriend telling me that she wasn't broken up with him after I started dating her and that he said she hung out with him a couple days earlier. I thought he was crazy because she gave me her word that she was broken up with him since school ended. I feared the same thing was happening to me. I asked by brother for his number because they were friends. I called him and asked if what he was saying was true. He says that he wasn't lying and that he hopes the best for us because he knows I make her really happy. Meanwhile, my brother gets a few texts back from my girlfriend's cousin and she says that she has been hanging out with someone else but does not know his name. She also says that I need to be told that my girlfriend is probably done with the relationship. I also sent a message to the guy that she was dating on her profile. Tormented, I was unable to sleep. I was on spring break and was bored and worried, so tried falling asleep. I lay in bed from 12:00pm until she calls me at about 4:30am. She was extremely upset, asking why I have contacted her ex-boyfriend and her cousin, both of which sent angry texts to my girlfriend. Nicole says that I need to leave her friends alone and stop bothering her. I assure her that I love her and am just afraid of losing her. She says that she understands but is still upset. We both go to sleep. This was Monday night.
Tuesday she calls me again and we talk about things and seem to be fine. I had an interview the next day and was traveling to the hotel that day. She calls me again that night and asks me a bunch of cute things and makes me feel much better about our situation. I thought things were fine for a bit. I try to call her Wednesday night to tell her about my interview. She says that she is throwing up periodically every 5 minutes and that if she ever stops she is going straight to bed. I assume everything is fine but was still upset by her Facebook. I send a text late Wednesday night asking her if she is embarrassed about our relationship, because if not, then why hasn’t she unblocked me yet? I told her that she knew I was upset from the first time I saw it, and that she is disrespecting me by not changing her status. I then send another text telling her to unblock me, letting her know that I am upset with her behavior on Facebook.
She sends me a text early in the morning telling me that she can't stand me going crazy and yelling at her all the time. She tells me never to call her again and says that she will not answer if I do, claiming that she does not need this extra stress in her life right now. As soon as I wake up and read the text, I call her. She answers crying, and tells me that she loves me. We talk for a while and she says that she wants to go on a break. I asked if that meant she would be seeing other people, she said no. Everything seemed to be fine except the break. She said that she needed time to think. I remembered that we used to message each other on Myspace when we had crushes on each other in high school. The messages made me laugh and feel much better. I told her that she should read them. She calls me back later that night. She informs me that she read the messages, and they also made her feel better. We start talking about how we met and all the great times we have had. We both agree that every time we are together, nothing else matters and the world seems perfect. By the end, we are both in very good moods.
Friday morning, she called me and we talked for about an hour. She was picking up some supplies for her restaurant. I get a call after she gets out of work and she seems happy. She gets a call from her dad and says that she will call me right after she is done talking to him. I get on Facebook while I wait and start talking to one of her friends. I knew that my girlfriend had a class with this girl and that they both had an exam on Thursday. I ask her about the exam and the class in general, making small talk. She then asks me how I knew. I told her that she told me before the exam that she was worried about it. I also told her friend that I got off the phone with her minutes ago. She asks me if I am serious and I ask why? She says that after the exam, my girlfriend told her that she was done with me and that she was full on dating this other guy that she was in a relationship with on Facebook. I couldn't believe it. She also said that he bought her a teddy bear.
I get a text from my girlfriend while talking to her friend and she says to never talk to her again. I ask why, and she says that I am ruining her relationships. I ask her friend if she said anything to my girlfriend, and she says no. I was unsure at that point why she blew up all of the sudden. I tell her that she can't end it like that and that I want to talk to her over the phone. She doesn't answer. Apparently she found out that I messaged that guy and he was upset. Eventually, she calls me and we are both calm. I tell her that the only reason she is so upset is because she is dating him. I told her that I knew about the teddy bear. She denies dating him but says that she has been hanging out with him. She says that she is not friends with her anymore, and that she was supposed to get an apartment with her, but she signed the lease with her boyfriend instead. She sys that her fiend was lying about my girlfriend saying she broke up with me.
I tell her that I don't want to lose her, and she says that she doesn't want to lose me either. Every time that we have talked about our future, we both envision the same thing and imagine our lives being perfect in the future. I tell her that if she truly wants that, then she has to stop hanging out with this other guy. She says that she has a lot of thinking to do, and that she can't decide if she actually likes him or if she is just really lonely. She says that she thinks about me every time she is with him. She says that she needs time to think.
Saturday morning, she calls me after her first job and says that her aunts noticed her staring off into space. They could tell she missed me and was thinking about me. This makes me slightly hopeful. Then during her second job, I get a text saying that she is going to move to Chicago to be with me. She has it all planned out with one of her close friends and they both want to move out here together. I am really excited that she has made this choice. Assuming that she chose me, I asked her if she was going to tell that guy. She said that she wants to tell her parents first. I ask her when she is going to tell him, and she is unsure. She claims that his uncle just died, and is a close friend of his family and she wants to wait for the right time when he is not already upset. She says that she doesn't want to hurt him, and I tell her that she is hurting me by not changing her status. Then ask her who is more important. She says that I am but tries to make me feel bad for him and tries to put me in his situation. She talks to me that night and everything is great.
It is now Monday night, she has unblocked me, but stills says that she is waiting to tell him that she can't see him anymore. She claims that they have never even kissed; only talked and hang out. I believe her that she has not touched him. Her status still says that she is in a relationship with him. I don't know if I can ever trust her again, but I know that I love her and do not want to leave her. I am not sure if I should move on or keep perusing her. Thank you for listening.