Pregnant with an eating disorder | | Binge Eating Disorder

Introduction
When blood sugar levels cannot be controlled with oral medications alone, human insulin is used to treat type 1 diabetes, a condition in which the body does not produce insulin and cannot control blood sugar levels, or type 2 diabetes, a condition in which the body does not produce or use insulin normally, resulting in excessive blood sugar levels. Human insulin belongs to a group of drugs known as hormones. The insulin that the body naturally produces is replaced with human insulin. It functions by assisting the body's other tissues in transferring blood sugar, which is used there for energy. It also prevents the liver from generating additional sugar. This is how all of the available forms of insulin function. The only differences between the insulin kinds are in how soon they start to act and how long they stay effective at regulating blood sugar.
What is Gestational diabetes ?
For women without a history of diabetes, gestational diabetes is a form of the diabetes that can develop during pregnancy. After the baby is born, gestational diabetes typically disappears. If your doctor advises differently, it's crucial to get a follow-up glucose tolerance test six to twelve months after the baby is born or before attempting a second pregnancy to ensure you are no longer diabetic.You can increase the likelihood of a successful pregnancy and healthy baby by controlling your gestational diabetes.
Who is susceptible to gestational diabetes?
The prevalence of gestational diabetes in pregnant women ranges from 3% to 8%. In most cases, it is discovered between 24 and 28 weeks, though it might appear earlier. Receiving a gestational diabetes diagnosis might be distressing and unanticipated. It's critical to receive support and assistance in controlling it by reaching out.
Gestational diabetes is more likely to affect some women. Among the women in this category are these:

are overweight or obese
have a family history of type 2 diabetes
are older than 40 years of age
use some steroids or antipsychotic drugs.
having experienced gestational diabetes in the past
previously given birth to a child weighing more than 4,500 grams.
having experienced a difficult pregnancy in the past
have PCOS, or polycystic ovarian syndrome.

There are some pregnant women without established risk factors for gestational diabetes.
Education about the use of insulin
It is critical that you receive guidance and support on the administration, storage, and operation of insulin from your physician or diabetes educator.
It is crucial that you understand the warning signs and symptoms of hypoglycemia, how to manage it, and the safe blood glucose levels for driving. Insulin can occasionally cause blood glucose levels to drop too low.
What happens after the birth of a baby?
After your baby is born, you normally stop injecting insulin to help manage gestational diabetes. This is due to the fact that after giving delivery, women's blood glucose levels typically recover to the ideal range rather quickly.
It's crucial to check your baby's blood glucose levels after birth to make sure it hasn't dropped too low. If so, you can cure it by giving your child formula or breast milk. It is advised that you breastfeed your child because it is best for both of you.
After your baby is delivered, your blood glucose levels will be monitored for a few days to make sure they are within the appropriate range. It is customary to check blood sugar two hours after eating and before breakfast. Six to twelve weeks after the baby is born, an oral glucose tolerance test (OGTT) is performed to see if your diabetes has resolved.
If you live in a high-risk location or are unable to socially distance yourself from the pathology center, it is advised that you postpone the OGTT testing for a period of six months during COVID-19. If you intend to become pregnant again or before your child turns 12 months old, it is advised to have an OGTT. Follow your physician's advice.
Although a child whose mother had gestational diabetes won't have diabetes at birth, they might have a higher chance of type 2 diabetes in the future.
What side effects can insulin cause?
There may be adverse effects from human insulin. Inform your physician in the event that any of these symptoms worsen or persist:

Skin thickening (fat build-up)
Skin redness
Swelling
Itching at the injection site
A small depression in the skin (fat breakdown)
Constipation
Weight gain

Certain adverse effects may be dangerous. Give your doctor a call right away if you encounter any of the following symptoms:

Rash and/or itching throughout the entire body
Dyspnea
Wheezing
Lightheadedness
Hazy vision
Rapid heart rate
Perspiration Weakness in breathing or swallowing
Muscles Cramps
Irregular pulse
Significant weight gain
Edema of arms, hands, feet, ankles, or lower legs

Conclusion
Insulin therapy is still the recommended course of treatment for uncontrolled gestational diabetes mellitus (GDM) and type 1 and type 2 diabetes. The insulins with the greatest human pregnancy data are NPH, insulin lispro, insulin aspart, and regular insulin. Clinicians' ability to accurately weigh the advantages and disadvantages of modifying insulin therapy will become increasingly important. It's also crucial to share the data with the patient so she can help choose the optimal insulin dosage. For the greatest fetal results, strict glycemic control must be maintained throughout pregnancy, regardless of the regimen selected.

Here is the recap of the 14 monetized posts from Kylea and Joseph "Joe" Gomez of Kylea G Weight loss Journey on 05/13/24.
Disclaimer: I am not a physician, influencer, or paid content creator. I am not affiliated with WW. I am semi-retired from healthcare with multiple college degrees. These opinions are my own based on social media content. I wish no harm to Kylea or Joe Gomez.
☎️ If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, please call or text 988 for assistance.
The tagline of Kylea G Weight loss Journey is, "I changed my life with prayer and a playlist of songs. No surgery, no meds. Just Jesus."
DAILY STATS 05/13/24:
0/14 posts discussed prayer
2/14 contained vague references to music
0/14 discussed exercise
0/14 shared a recipe
4/14 were about something Kylea ate or drank
1/14 contained a side by side photo comparison
2/14 were about her current/future pet (one of these was from "Joe" about Amazon pet items)
1/14 "Joe" posted about getting Whataburger
2/14 were about donut holes & a clapback
2/14 were a trip update
📢 For our friends at Meta, that means at least 50% of Kylea's monetized content had nothing to do with weight loss, which is the tagline and purpose of her page.
⚠️ Disordered Eating- Daily Food Consumption (Data compiled from monetized content):
5 WW Points: Barebell Cookies & Cream Protein Bar
0 WW Points: Alani Nu Energy Drink (🚨 These contain 200mg of caffeine)
9 WW Points: TWO In-N-Out "Protein style" hamburgers wrapped in lettuce.
0 WW Points: Bahama Buck's Sugar-free Birthday Cake & Sugar-free Strawberry cheesecake flavored shaved ice.
📢 For our friends at Meta, that means Kylea consumed 14 out of (up to) 30 daily WW points in maintenance mode= Disordered Eating. This is dangerous messaging for her 138k+ followers on a weight loss journey.
Recipes Shared:
ZERO
🚨 Please speak with a medical professional about any questions or concerns you have about your health.
Comments: Kylea CHOSE to continue posting triggering food content, and clapbacked at followers for questioning it.
⚠️ Binge Eating, Compulsive Buying Disorder (CBD), aka shopping addiction, Disordered Eating, Food Addiction, Gaslighting, and Religion will be discussed.
Post 1. Donut Hole Controversy: Kylea posted an empty donut hole bag and claimed her sister ate all of them at 3 WW points each. When called out by a follower, Kylea responded with this, "I don't eat donuts. I support other people eating whatever they'd like to eat. What's unhealthy is commenting on other people's food choices.💖💖 💖"
Post 2. Using the Pet Cat for Content: This nontent was her male cat's reaction to being told his puppy sister arrives on Sunday.
Post 3. Protein Bar Slip Up: Kylea recycled an old photo of her holding a Barebell protein bar and tried to act like the photo was taken today. 👀
Post 4. Trip Update: Kylea is shopping for puppy bandanas online because Birdie "only" has 6, while her sister drives. She is listening to 🎶 in the car. 💤 This is nontent.
Post 5. "Unhealthy" Food Clapback: Narcissistic, defiant Kylea had to get the last word in.
"I had someone comment that I post a lot of "unhealthy" food for a weight loss page. The point of my page is to show others that all foods are healthy in moderation. What is not healthy, is commenting on other people's food choices. Mind your own plate. 💖 I personally eat very healthy myself but I support all of the people around me in whatever food choices they want to make for their own lives. I will never and have never commented on someone else's food choice for their own lives."
⏸️ This is gaslighting. Here we go...

Kylea is triggered by words like treat, craving, and indulge but was not at the beginning of her weight loss journey.
Kylea is afraid to own a microwave because it could jeopardize her recovery with food addiction and give her quick access to convenient foods. (Please ignore the air fryer and cabinets full of snacks.)
If Kylea does not like what Joe is eating at a restaurant, she has placed the menu between them so she does not have to see it.
Joe is not allowed to have regular condiments in the fridge.
Joe is to "support" her by eating foods he does not prefer at home (most of the time).
Kylea controls what Joe eats when she is away from home.
Please ignore all comments Kylea makes on the Basham and Lee families' social media accounts about food.
Kylea does not eat clean.
She triggers her followers with calorie-dense items on purpose for monetary gain.
Kylea has disordered eating.

If that list isn't enough to question her speech, a follower requested a 24-hour food log and the # of daily WW points Kylea uses. Kylea replied, "after months of bullying over that because of how healthy I do eat, I won't ever do that again. It's for my peace that I no longer do."
📢 To our friends at Meta, why is a "weight loss influencer" allowed to refuse to answer follower questions about WW (her chosen tool) and refuse to provide an example of what she eats in a day? This is the job YOU pay her to do.
Post 6. Alani Nu: Avoid this beverage (200mg caffeine) if you are unsure about your recommended caffeine intake.
Post 7. Trip Update: Her sister drove 6 hours. They have to be at the airport tomorrow at 4 am.
Post 8. Fort Worth Stockyards: This photo editing fail made Kylea appear 8 feet tall with a shrunken head and long extremities. Upon follower questions, she blamed her sister for how she held the phone. 🤔
Post 9. IN-N-Out Burger: Kylea's sister ate a cheeseburger & fries, and Kylea had 2 "protein style" hamburgers she claimed were called "protein burgers." Umm, nope.
Post 10. Shaved Ice: Kylea's sister got the baby size shaved ice, and Kylea got a significantly larger-sized cup.
⏸️ I smirked as Kylea claimed the protein bar was "yummy," the In-N-Out was "really good," and the sugar-free shaved ice, "It is SO good!!," but the giant iced cookie cake slice yesterday was "fine." She loves to gaslight and act holier-than-thou. 😇
Post 11. Whataburger: "Joe" posted his bag of Whataburger after waiting 1.5 hours in the drive-thru on opening day.
⏸️ How are the donut holes, energy drink, cheeseburger and fries, and regular shaved ice Kylea's sister consumed, and Whataburger her husband consuming healthy weight loss content? Why is Meta paying her for this nonsense?
Post 12. Amazon Purchases: "Joe" posted a picture of more puppy items and said, "Can you tell my wife is excited about her new role as dog mom 😂 😂" This is nontent.
Post 13. May 2021 vs Today: Kylea is "forever proud of the girl who changed her entire life -208 lbs."
⏸️ Kylea, you traded addictions. That is not something to be proud of. You are terrified of the scale and heavily modify your photos. That is not something to be proud of, either. You can spend all the money and travel the world but you are not happy. Quite the opposite. Seek medical care. ☮️
Post 14. Final Update: Kylea feels "uplifted" from window shopping at the Stockyards and local Target with her sister, listening to country music.
Takeout Purchases: Donut Holes= $3.50 est; In-N-Out Burger: Cheeseburger & Fries with 2 "Protein-style" Hamburgers (online prices)= $11.75 est; Bahama Buck's Baby & Regular Sized Shaved Ice= $9.18 + tip; Whataburger (unknown food)= $8 est;
Shopping/Travel Expenses: Barebell Protein Bar= $2.45 est; Alani Nu Freezeberry Energy= $2.48 est; Alani Nu Juicy Peach Energy= $2.48 est; Gas Joplin, MO to Fort Worth, TX: (373mi/33mpg) x $3.85 est= $43.52 est; Gas Fort Worth, TX to Dallas, TX: (32mi/33mpg) x $3.85 est= $3.73 est; Hotel (prices by airport used)= $75 est + fees; Bocce's Coconut Macaroon Crunchy Biscuits 5oz bag Qty 2= $12.98 est; Bocce's Sauvignon Bark Soft & Chewy 6oz bag Qty 2= $13.58 est; Bocce's Burger & Fries All-Natural Dog Treats Qty 2= $9.08 est; PetStages Grow-with-Me Ring Dog Chew Toy= $5.24 est; Pet Botanics Training Rewards Soft & Chewy Bacon Flavor 20oz bag Qty 2= $27.98 est; Undercoat Rake Grooming Tool= $10.25 est; Paw Print Cube Fabric Storage Bin= $12.99 est; Baghler Airline Approved Dog Travel Bag Light Pink- A Backpack with Silicone Bowls & Food Baskets= $34.99 est; Fabric Strawberry Harness & Leash= $17.99 est; Black Nylon Training Leash= $8.95 est;
All info from Reddit. ✌️

My friend takes her faith seriously, it is one of the things that keeps her going. In Islam, mothers are sacred and she does not want to go against her faith by going NC or LC, but her family is pretty toxic, and I have been trying to show her she is the Scapegoat child. That's really opened her eyes as to why she gets blamed for things when she's the only one who actually helps the family, and she is learning a lot.
But so many of the resources I'm sending to her are very based in a secular Western mode. And I'm trying to find articles or videos from therapists who understand why a Muslim girl does not want to even consider walking away from her mother, however painful the relationship is.
I don't think her mother is a true Narc; just a very traumatised woman who didn't get the help she needed. She was a war refugee and her life has been hellish. I just want to help my young friend prevent that trauma from becoming intergenerational and inherited, but I'm not having much luck finding resources that speak from a knowledge of Islamic ideals as well as refugee trauma and how that can create so much toxicity in a family.
I found one Christian guy, who at least had a faith-based approach to teaching things like Grey Rock technique (not specifically Christian ideas, more just that he respected his audience's spiritual beliefs were a priority for them) but I'd love to find someone like that who is Muslim. My friend's family are just like: "be a good Muslim girl and respect your mother however she treats you" but some of the things the mother does have really endangered my friend's mental health; she is already dealing with an eating disorder (due, I'm sure, to her role as family scapegoat.)
I'd be very grateful for any pointers as to where to look. She lives in the UK if that's relevant and has just finished uni, but it's online resources I'm mostly seeking.
Thanks everyone.

I feel like i dont belong anywhere My final exams start tomorrow and somehow im unable to take it seriously. I feel like a failure because of everything ive been through. I think im going to die tonight. I just need to find a way to do that because right now im clueless. The internet is not helping. I just want a quick painless death.
Ive been in enough pain. I need a break from life. My parents arent even trying to figure a way out. Im basically forced to pass 11th and i dont think i will. And i wont repeat id rather die. Thats so embarrassing. I already have a terrible reputation. People hate me. Sure ive made mistakes but ive never actually been a bitch or hurt anyone with bad intentions.
My pain ended up jumping onto other people and hurting them. I stopped opening up, all of because of that. I stopped trusting. I stopped laughing. I stopped believing. I stopped thinking. I stopped shopping. Im stopping everything so i can die.
This is probably going to be my suicide note. I know i have talked about doing it but now i actually plan on. Im so miserable. No one understands. They compare what ive been through with someone elses trauma and it makes me feel like im a dramatic freak. Thats how people look at me in school anyway. Im just a whore, nothing more. Dumb, suicidal girl with an eating disorder. Someone who cant pass and failed twice. Someone who cannot achieve anything.
Im done with everyone.

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Kansas

Despite voters overwhelmingly rejecting a constitutional amendment that would have allowed abortion restrictions in the state, Kansas Republicans passed several anti-abortion bills into law late last month, overriding the governor’s veto.
The first bill, HB 2436, makes it a crime to “coerce” someone into having an abortion. Democrats attempted to widen the scope of the bill to include all kinds of reproductive coercion, like pressuring someone to become or stay pregnant and prohibiting their access to birth control, and enshrine a right to “reproductive autonomy.” Republicans voted down the amendment.
The second bill, HB 2749, requires medical facilities and providers to (1) ask patients their reason for having an abortion and (2) report the data, including personal information about the patient, to the legislature every other year. Gov. Laura Kelly (D) agreed with the objections of Democrats and reproductive rights advocates, saying when she vetoed the bill that there is “no valid reason to force a woman to disclose to the legislature why she is seeking an abortion.”

Democrats offered numerous amendments to HB 2749, including one to require men to report to the legislature their reasons for having a vasectomy and another requiring men to report why they are seeking treatment for erectile dysfunction. Republicans rejected all of them.

Finally, the Republican legislature overrode Kelly’s line-item veto allocating $2 million to the Pregnancy Compassion Awareness Program, created last year with a different veto override. The program is run by an anti-abortion group called the Kansas Pregnancy Care Network, which refers pregnant people to crisis pregnancy centers designed to use misleading information to discourage them from obtaining an abortion.

Louisiana

Louisiana’s legislature is doubling down on its anti-abortion laws, passing bills to increase criminalization and refusing to add exemptions to its abortion ban.
Earlier this month, the Louisiana House took up a bill passed by the Senate that would make it a crime, punishable by jail time, to possess abortion-inducing medication. SB 276, sponsored by 23 Republicans and one Democrat, was initially written to create a punishment for coercing someone into an abortion without their knowledge or consent (e.g. spiking a drink). However, House legislators recently added an amendment to the bill that classifies mifepristone and misoprostol as Schedule IV substances alongside some opioids and benzodiazepines. A pregnant person possessing the drugs for their own use could not be charged, but others who intend to distribute them to pregnant people seeking an abortion or store them for their own potential future use would face up to ten years in prison.

“Neither is a drug of abuse or dependence, and that is what the controlled drug schedule is for,” said [emergency room Dr. Jennifer] Avegno of the abortion drugs. “It makes no scientific or medical sense to put these drugs in the same category as Xanax or Valium.”
Mifepristone is a drug that blocks a hormone called progesterone, which is necessary for a pregnancy to continue. Misoprostol causes uterine contractions, causing the body to expel the pregnancy tissue. Mifepristone is also used to treat Cushing’s disease, a hormonal disorder. Misoprostol is also used to induce labor, manage a miscarriage and in the treatment of ulcers. Neither are addictive. “People do not go around taking them and getting dependent and having bad outcomes because of it,” said Avegno. “It’s like saying your blood pressure medicine or insulin is a drug of abuse.”

A week later, Republicans on the House Criminal Justice Committee voted 7-4 to reject a bill to add rape and incest exceptions to the state’s total abortion ban. House Bill 164, written by Democratic Rep. Delisha Boyd, would have allowed girls younger than 17 to have abortions if they became pregnant as the result of sexual assault.

“That baby [in the womb] is innocent … We have to hang on to that,” said committee member Rep. Dodie Horton, R-Haughton, who voted against the bill. Rep. Lauren Ventrella, R-Greenwell Spring, also voted against the legislation, saying the proposed law would be difficult to enforce. Teenagers who had consensual sex might feign rape or incest in order to get access to abortion services, she suggested…
Dr. Neelima Sukhavasi, a Baton Rouge doctor specializing in obstetrics and gynecology, also implored the lawmakers to approve Boyd’s proposal. She and her colleagues have delivered babies for pregnant teenagers, including mothers as young as 13, since Louisiana’s abortion ban went into effect two years ago. These young pregnant people can experience health complications that affect them for the rest of their lives, Sukhavasi said, and sometimes don’t have the mental capacity to handle the births. “One of these teenagers delivered a baby while clutching a teddy bear,” she told the committee.

The Committee also killed three other bills: HB 56, to allow abortions in cases of spontaneous miscarriage or nonviable pregnancy; HB 63, to clarify that the removal of an ectopic pregnancy is not an abortion under state law; HB 293, to add protection for physicians who do not intend to induce abortion by prescribing certain medications.

Texas

Meanwhile, in Texas—a state that pioneered the war on women and reproductive rights—a man initiated legal action to sue people who helped his former partner obtain an out-of-state abortion.
The man, Collin Davis, filed a petition in a state district court seeking permission to launch legal depositions to collect evidence for a potential lawsuit under a Texas law that contains civil liability for anyone who “aids and abets” an abortion. According to his lawyer, Jonathan Mitchell (who crafted the anti-abortion law), Davis is seeking to sue “co-conspirators and accomplices…involved in the murder of [his] unborn child.”

“Fathers of aborted fetuses can sue for wrongful death in states with abortion bans, even if the abortion occurs out-of-state,” he wrote. “They can sue anyone who paid for the abortion, anyone who aided or abetted the travel, and anyone involved in the manufacture or distribution of abortion drugs.”
Molly Duane, a senior staff attorney with the Center for Reproductive Rights, described Mitchell’s statement and general approach as misleading “fearmongering.”
“People need to understand that it is not a crime to leave Texas or any other state in the country for an abortion,” said Duane, who is working with lawyers from the firm Arnold & Porter to represent the woman and others targeted in the Davis case. “I don’t want people to be intimidated, but they should be outraged and alarmed.” Duane described the woman’s relationship with Davis as “toxic and harmful.”

Mitchell also represents a different man who pursued a similar claim last year: Marcus Silva engaged Mitchell to sue the friends of his estranged wife for allegedly helping her obtain abortion pills. Evidence later revealed that Silva knew about the plans beforehand and did not intervene, likely intending to use the threat of legal action as a way of forcing his partner to halt divorce proceedings.

Monday’s counterclaim illustrates, in painstaking detail, exactly how Silva—aided by Mitchell—allegedly deployed this tactic. It was only after Brittni’s abortion was complete that Silva revealed he knew about the plan and, according to the lawsuit, threatened to turn her in if she didn’t submit to his continued abuse. He even showed the police photographs of messages discussing the possibility of an abortion. “Once I finally got home with the girls he had been drinking and he told me that he knew,” Brittni texted one friend. “He’s using it against me.” In another message, she wrote, “Now he’s saying if I don’t give him my ‘mind body and soul’ until the end of the divorce, which he’s going to drag out, he’s going to make sure I go to jail for doing it.” […]
The counterclaim points out another flaw in his argument: Silva himself “is responsible for the alleged injury for which he seeks to recover.” He “knew that Brittni planned to terminate her alleged pregnancy and acquiesced in accepting Brittni’s actions,” so “it would be unconscionable to permit him to benefit by changing his position now.” His claims, in short, are barred “by unclean hands,” because he effectively entrapped his estranged wife—covertly discovering her plan to terminate the pregnancy, then allowing her to go through with it for the express purpose of blackmailing her into staying with him.

Indiana

A three-judge panel of the Indiana Court of Appeals last month unanimously recognized a religious freedom challenge to the state’s complete ban on abortion.
The case, brought by Hoosier Jews for Choice and four anonymous women of various faiths, alleges that the ban interferes with “their sincere religious beliefs that require and direct them to obtain abortions” criminalized since the law took effect in 2023. According to Jewish law, a fetus does not have personhood until birth, and abortion is required if the pregnancy endangers the life or health of the mother.

Brief of Hoosier Jews for Choice (and other plaintiffs): As indicated by the declarations of numerous rabbis, Judaism teaches that a fetus becomes a living person only at birth, and prior to that is considered part of the woman’s body, without independent rights. Abortion should occur and is mandated to end a pregnancy that may cause serious consequences to a woman’s mental or physical heath. Judaism also recognizes that physical health risks are not limited to those likely to cause substantial and irreversible impairment of a major bodily function. Judaism stresses the necessity of protecting the physical and mental health of the woman—a life—over the potential for life present in a zygote, embryo, or fetus. Therefore, restrictions that prevent a woman from obtaining an abortion where compelled by Jewish law, which mandates that the woman act to protect her physical or mental health, impose a substantial burden on that person’s religious exercise.

Under Indiana’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA), “a governmental entity may not substantially burden a personʹs exercise of religion,” defined to include “any exercise of religion, whether or not compelled by, or central to, a system of religious belief.” This means that arguments about whether plaintiffs are strictly observant are irrelevant; the law protects sincerely held religious views regardless of whether that view is idiosyncratic or unorthodox. However, even a law that imposes a substantial burden on the exercise of religion can be enforced if it is “the least restrictive means of furthering [a] compelling governmental interest” (the strict scrutiny test).
The state argued that abortion does not carry “religious significance” and, even if it did, the abortion ban satisfies strict scrutiny because it is “sufficiently narrowly tailored” to “further the State’s interest” in “protecting human lives in the womb.” Throughout Indiana’s brief, the state attempts to use science to back up fetal personhood, extending developmental physiology to make unfounded claims that protected life unquestionably begins at conception:

In lower courts, the State’s compelling interest is not up for debate. In Cheaney v. State, the Indiana Supreme Court held that the State’s interest in protecting unborn children is “valid and compelling” from “the moment of conception.” …A basic understanding of biology supports these holdings. “That human fetuses are human beings is a scientific fact, not a theological claim.” Regardless whether an individual person believes this, “the scientific consensus” is that “[d]evelopment begins at fertilization,” after which the newly created “unicellular zygote divides many times and becomes progressively transformed into a multicellular human being through cell division, migration, growth, and differentiation.” …. Science thus tells us that “[t]he act of performing an induced abortion during any stage of pregnancy, from fertilization up to birth, ends the life of an innocent human being.” The State’s interest in protecting unborn fetal life at any stage from intentional destruction accordingly is nothing less than “compelling.”

A panel of the Indiana Court of Appeals—made up of a Republican appointee and two Democratic appointees—unanimously ruled against the state, upholding a lower court’s injunction against the abortion ban as it applies to the plaintiffs. In the process, the court laid out a path for religious freedom challenges to abortion bans in other states and at the federal level.

The trial court found that absent a preliminary injunction, Plaintiffs would be irreparably harmed by the loss of their religious freedoms guaranteed by RFRA. A loss of First Amendment freedoms, which include the right to free exercise of religion, “for even minimal periods of time, unquestionably constitutes irreparable injury.”... Without a preliminary injunction, Plaintiffs will suffer the loss of their right to exercise their sincere religious beliefs by obtaining an abortion when directed by their religion and prohibited by the Abortion Law. They also have shown their sexual and reproductive lives will continue to be restricted absent the injunction and as a result of the Abortion Law.

Briefs can be found under case number 22A-PL-2938 on Indiana’s Appellate docket

it's driving me crazy. it's all anybody on my floor talks about these days. they're doing "motivational mondays" and "weigh in wednesdays" so for 2/5ths of my work week i'm quite literally surrounded by an environment that feels custom built to drag me back down to where i was. i lost years of my life to this. i have an eating disorder reddit alt for fuck's sake. and one of my biggest fears is ending up back in it.
i've gained a fair bit of weight from the height of my disorder, but i'm pretty hairy and very gay so i've coped by framing it as "entering my bear era". i haven't thought badly about my weight in a while. but my coworkers, including the one i share an office with, talk about it constantly. i've tried everything without "outing myself" - warning them to be safe about it, saying i don't like to talk about that kind of thing any more, but it's everywhere around me. they keep talking about exactly how much weight they've lost down to the half pound, joking about really unhealthy ways to lose weight [THAT I HAVE DONE BEFORE], being hard on themselves for gaining, and it's making me sick and i can't stop thinking back.
my officemate asked me today which part of the lunchable i thought had the most calories, decided for herself which it was when i refused to comment, then offered me that part of the lunchable when she decided not to eat the "bad" part.
girl. i do not want a handful of straight [lunchable component]. especially if it's the one you've just decided is highest calorie!!!!
how do i live like this! how do i work like this!! i just want to do my job without the fucking devil tempting me in the desert!!!!! i'm so close to snapping and getting really mean about it but the people doing it are some of my favourite coworkers that i really like. why are all offices like this????

Just posted about the fact that I'm down 30lbs since March and someone asked how I was doing it. Told them I restrict myself to one 1800 to 2k calorie meal a day (dinner).
I literally got bombarded with "not to be preachy but that's VERY unhealthy", and one that really stuck out "I used to do that when I had an eating disorder, please be careful".
I've read here that there is a fine ish line between eating disorders and fasting, or is that untrue?
Anyway, that reminded me of why I only post on my dogs socal media haha.

Sorry. This will be so long.
BG: me (27) and my male bestfriend (30) were best friends since we were 2nd yr college. We graduated college & I had few serious relationship and afterwards explored and he had one failed serious relationship. I never saw him as someone special aside from the friendship we had. Come 25 and I got tired from exploring. I got in the same company as his, it's wfh. We both live alone so we were going to each other's places to stay so we could work together. Everything was alright until suddenly we found out we're sexually compatible, lol. Then the sex went on.
Plot twist: I got pregnant. Ik, very expensive lesson. But I had been prepared for this scenario when I entered my exploration stage.
We talked about this already, I asked him if he would want to know. He said yes. So I told him, and I was very clear to him that if he wants to run, he can. I don't mind. I love my child so I know I'll do everything I can to give her the best.
So fast forward to now, I'm on my 3rd trim. He insisted on living with me saying he wants to be there. We're co-parenting, i guess? We're not together. We're open if someone finds someone.
I'm good at finances and I earn more than him since I'm hustling ever since. He's not. I had to teach him how to save and properly manage his money which thankfully he finally learned to. I cook since he doesn't know. He cleans the house more since he's better at it. Some chores is whoever wants to do it/whose free. We've had fights before (I always ask him to leave since he's not really helpful at all but I wanted to give him a chance) but today it was my tipping point. I just asked him to fry something for me since I wanna eat it but he refused to do so saying it's so hot on our kitchen. He continued watching tiktok & playing mobile game then later on went out to wash the dishes but still didn't fry the food I wanted. I don't ask him much unless I don't feel good and mostly he's doesn't know how to or refuses to learn.
So i exploded inside and calmly told him I hate how selfish he is. (Everytime I do this, he never talks back saying I don't know how to listen, I already concluded in my head, and won't admit I'm wrong. I feel very disrespected since I feel like talking with air). I only asked him to fry something, not that hard but he refused to since it's hot. I said he's not helpful at all physically, mentally for me. We share 50-50 of all the living and baby expenses but if we're short I'll have to find a way since he's used to "whatever comes tom" and doesn't give an effort to find an extra income even if I push him to. I have to decide for everything-house things, baby, finances. He never even initiate anything for our baby. I have to tell him check ups, tell him everything, try to involve him... i wanted to gave him a chance since I knew he was really nonchalant on things even before we were just friends. He helps me emotionally bc i can be just myself since we knew each other from top to bottom.
It just that i feel like he's not really helping me on this pregnancy. He's just there going with the flow, with everything I decide on. I try to step up on everything since with or without him, I want to be ready for our baby as much as we can I asked him to leave several times since I'm very independent and he's very disappointing, imo. I'd rather raise the kid alone than be with him but feel no help at all, can't even depend on him on little things. He just won't leave insisting it's hard for me and I need help...and it's better for him to be with us. But I still feel alone on this pregnancy, I don't feel his effort and I feel like he's just pulling us down. I don't wanna settle for anything less.
Lol, I'm on my 7th month and I didn't receive any massage offer from him. Seriously hard to be pregnant. Very thankful I wfh and my work is not that stressful.
He have these little improvements and I commend him for that. But his flaws as a partner outweighs the good already. I tried several times to communicate what I expect him to do, but he just won't improve.
ABYG here? Am I being blinded by my hormones and should give him time to adjust?
Or he's being an a-hole insisting to be a dad but still a kid inside.
I'm done but he just won't leave. Any advice or insight would be appreciated also. I just want peace within me and my baby.
I didn't want to open up to my friends since they're very protective of me. I don't want a bias opinion...
I also want to vent and to know if somehow I am being too hard on him since I have a very dominant personality and he's submissive. He's very kind also, i just don't know why I feel like at times he doesn't apply his kindness to me and his child. Lol
Lesson: never have a child with your bestfriend. It's really hard to forget he's your bestfriend first and he's like this. Lol

So I 23m have been through a rough spot for the past 6 months after a break up, I recently decided to put myself out there again I've been picking myself up little by little and been doing great. So last Thursday I met this girl we'll call Alicia 21f and we hit it off in a matter of minutes and it made me feel really good having someone "appreciate" me after a while. So towards the end of the night she offers me to spend the night at hers. In my head I thought oh shit there's no way, so we go to her place and I can't perform yea the ultimate humiliation... I was just so nervous and anxious it was my first time doing it with someone I had just met so we just ended up cuddling and talking the whole time, she opens up and starts telling me that for the last 5 months of her life this is what she's been doing sleeping with random guys she would meet that she thought were cute. And that she was going through an abortion, I immediately felt bad for her, but while she was telling me all this idk I felt more comfortable with her and I could tell that she had some kinda disorder or something (she did confirm she has borderline personality disorder). Well I don't spend the night as in I sleep at her place but I leave at like 6a.m. and head back home. the following morning she texts me saying she wanted to meet me again I wasn't against it but was too tired to hang out that same night so we schedule for Sunday. Sunday comes by we have dinner and go to a hotel this time cause her parents were home and the same thing happens to me, ashamed and defeated... I try not to think about it and just like last time she was really comforting towards me and made me feel better and just keeps talking like I was her therapist(in the moment I was fine thinking back on it makes me kinda feel weird about it) or something and she tells me how last night she slept with the guy that had got her pregnant, mind you at this point I'm not really interested in her more than the sexual aspect of things so yea it felt weird having someone like her in my arms telling me these things but it was kinda comforting (?). We spend 5 hours in a hotel room just talking and making out she offers to pay the bill but I decided to split it. And then we spend like two more hours talking in my car outside of her house. At this point I was starting to get attached but I don't feel ready for a relationship, besides I just met this person. The next morning (Monday) I go to work and she was feeling unwell so didn't go to uni my workplace happens to be 5 minutes away from her so I go visit her and here things go bad I probably hadn't noticed the first time cause we immediately went to her room but the place reeked she did mention she has 6 cats to which I'm allergic to so I was also kinda dieing and at the same time she was trauma dumping on me the whole time and saying how I make her feel better and so many other things that made me feel good but also scared that maybe this was all going too fast for being our third time meeting so then I guess she can sense it from me that I was feeling kinda uncomfortable and starts apologising and I interrupt her and say that it was fine it's just that maybe we're taking things to fast I tells her I kinda like her but would like to get to know her better and I suggested that we shouldn't meet with the intent of having sex and these other guys she's seeing she should probably stop. I'm pretty sure it meant a lot for her not being seen as just a lump of flesh cause she started crying again and it made me feel saddened at the same time because it made me think all she's been through in just these past months, she started this lifestyle, Which also got her pregnant, that was clearly doing more harm than good to her and I cpuld tell that all she ever wanted was some genuine love. So I leave the place cause I was late for work ( I work in a gym my hours are kinda easily adjustable). I get in my car and I have this weird feeling that maybe I shouldn't get this involved in her life for my sake. Throughout the day she sends me so many messages on IG so many reels and posts and then saying "us" so now I'm like well fuck. And I tell her I'd like to talk so we arrange to meet at a park the next day next to her house after I finish work and well, I can't get anything in before she starts trauma dumping on me again, she had gone to the hospital (abortion related) with her father and apparently her father called her a "sex worker" so I just couldn't bring myself to tell her look maybe we should tone it down a bit alright. So instead I just said what I would say to anyone, I was kinda on her father's side while I do not agree with the tone and what was said I told her imagine being a father and your baby has a baby needs to get an abortion because the babies father is nowhere to be seen how would that make you feel also knowing what you've been up to lately it's not easy for all parts involved she kinda agreed and started softly crying and here she told me she had bpd(borderline personality disorder) and apologised for everything and making me go through all this nonsense and purposed to me that I should just leave her, I kinda refused, but I did mention that maybe while texting we should tone it down. So we go back to our homes and I get a call from her telling me that her parents forbid her to go out without having her brother or cousin being there so she obviously was sad about it and I tried convincing her it was for the better, but she was scared that I would end up leaving if this meant not being able to be alone for awhile. I told her that I would do my best but she had to try even harder for her own sake. I feel like whenever she's not with me she tends to overthink everything and just overcomplicates everything on herself I don't want to abandon her but at the same time I don't want to be with someone whose always depressed especially someone I just met I can't imagine how difficult it must be having her condition and I wonder if things will get better. And this is where we're at now I would like some advice on this whole situation I don't have a genuine question just would like some thoughts about it forgive my grammar English is not my first language
Tldr; this girl I've been seeing has had quite the past and would one way or another let it out on me treating me almost like her psychologist. She's been going through an abortion, so recently her parents decided to lock her at home unless someone they know goes out with her and is afraid of losing me because of this. Idk what to do I feel like it's too much for me but I would feel horrible just leaving her like this.

I from India and have been diagnosed with schizophrenia from 2018. I have been eating the following tablets daily till this day. Palsinuron Metformin Hydrochloride. Gala-M 1000 Memantine Hydrochloride Admenta 10 Tetrabenazine. Revocon Procyclidine Modin 5 Propranolol. Inderal 40 After searching the internet i found that most of these tablets are used to treat epipelsy, nerve pain and no instance of schizophrenia is mentioned. Have I have been prescribed the right tablets? For the first two years I used to sleep a lot after eating these tablets. Then during the third year I developed restless legs syndrome in the evening daily and sleep only at 12 in the midnight. Then I thought of studying programming and TRIED to sit long hours before my laptop.But I encountered DISCOMFORT in my back, NOT PAIN. Something would crawl in my back and I was not able to sit half an hour atleast in one place.Atleast when I did not take medication I was not having any disorders or sleepiness. I did not go out, bath once in a week and immersed in the internet during schizophrenia. Now for the past one year after having the morning dosage of the above tablets, I was not able to sit or sleep right after one hour of taking the tablets. This would last for several hours. I asked the doctor to stop the morning dosage or prescribe alternative tablets but he said no. After much protest and request from my mother I have stopped the morning dosage and having only the night dosage. Now I am alright and not experiencing any DISCOMFORT or SIDE EFFECTS. For the past two years I am daily going out, interacting with my neighbours, taking care of my bedridden father, studying online MBA, active in social forums and more.
Some specialists or persons with similar experience reading my post in this subreddit kindly advise me: Is my progress is due to my efforts or those of the medicine? Is my routine normal or should I socialize more? Am I eating the tablets correct; should I discontinue it? Will i return to my previous state.
I am 40, unemployed and single
Thank u

I'm putting fake names... (A lot of the timelines are spread out but they talk about those specific moments, I hope they make since)
I have a friend, I'll call her J. I have known J for almost 9 years. She and I grew up pretty close and we were inseparable. Over the first few years of our friendship she had lost my parents trust from an incident involving a boy, she wasn't allowed to stay over for sleepovers and I practically lost my whole summer that year. I was pretty angry at my parents and blamed things on them. I regret my actions and I did learn but in my mind I thought J was the only person who understood me.
After the whole incident settled down. School started up again and she would jokingly push me into a boy or a locker. She started putting her arm around my neck, trying to choke me. She would continuously punch me or smack me on the head. I honestly got annoyed by it but I acted like it was nothing. She had suddenly became obsessed with TikTok and she posted a whole TikTok about her friends, their was a video of me that stood out. I wasn't wearing a shirt. Which completely made me uncomfortable because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she took the video while I was changing. She didn't take it down. She also would post photos without my consent. Like ones that made me feel ugly or disgusting. And I would tell her how they made me feel. But she would still post them. I started telling her no when she asked for photos and she always would sneak one when I wasn't looking. She doesn't take no for an answer. She will start whining when you don't listen. I used to trust her with my feelings and I would tell her about everything. And now I feel like she knows too much.
This past school year all of my friends (king, J, Joe, Bell) and I went to SDYC. And well when we went J was lying a bunch and starting a bunch of drama and it threw all of my friends off. We all didn't trust J and Joe that well during that time. I felt like the only people I had was my friends King and Bell. Because they both understood how I felt.
After that. King, J, and I had a sleepover. During the middle of the night I was watching a movie and J began to bug me. She started pushing on me saying I was taking up too much room. But honestly I was the one who was sleeping in between two couches there's no way I was taking that much space because I was falling in the crack. She then proceeded to call me a fat roll. I said "no your a fat roll" jokingly. And then she freaks out and she went to tell her boyfriend. It annoyed me because all her boyfriend knows how to do is talk bad. After that sleepover. She started working at the same place as me and I told her about my big crush on this coworker of ours. And so then she decided to start flirting with him in front of me. She would throw something at him jokingly and giggle. I didn't try to think anything of it. But then when we were talking about him the next thing she decided to say was, "your just jealous because he talks to me and not you". The thing is I don't want to talk to him that's why I don't try to talk to him. He has talked to me before, but I rather admire him from afar. He's like 13 years older than me. He was just hot to me at the time.
I'll just say I am lighter than a 5'6 girl. I might have a little bit of belly fat but that's just my body. And I do have an eating disorder. I don't eat enough, I practically starve myself. J honestly made me feel worse and I started having moments where I would basically pass out from no iron in my body. J continued to body shame me even from the amount of food I would eat. She straight up made is feel like she was calling me ugly and fat. It hurt and it made me angry. I told my dad and he said she's just jealous and not to worry about it. I brushed it off but she basically would say something everyday. It got to a point where I was crying all the time.
During my last year of highschool J didn't have a vehicle. So she would ask me to drive her places. I didn't mind because we would be going to the same places. And I started offering to pay for her drink or something. I didn't think much of it in tell I was always taking her places and buying her drinks but she still wanted me to pay her back for stuff when I didn't have much money. She managed to buy a vehicle for a small price by saving up the money she didn't spend. I feel stupid for offering. One day her mom even texted me asking for the small money I "owed" J. But my parents think I don't owe her anything because I have given her most of my money and that she owes me money.
J also does this thing where if you don't give her your attention she'll keep tapping you. Over and over again. Everytime she asks for my attention it's always for something so pointless and stupid. Nothing serious. And everytime I ask for her attention she'll ignore me. She does it a lot. She only wants to have the attention. I stopped telling her about how I feel because all I know is she'll either use it against me or not actually listen and move past it. Like once she asked me how I felt and when I told her that I cried about something she moved on from it into her talking about her crying over some movie she watched.
The way she treated me made me so angry that I texted her boyfriend anonymously asking him to control his girlfriend and get her to be nicer to others. He didn't like the message and told his girl on the spot and J tried to call my fake number. I didn't answer and then she ran to me to tell me the tea. She later assumed it was a boy she was flirting with that she pushed away.
I hate her boyfriend but he deserves better.. because she has talked to another boy behind his back. When I started liking this one boy. I told her about it and then she began to tell me how she met this UK boy and she thinks he's all that. She later found out he was lying about his age and she got back to reality before she lost her in person boyfriend.
She told king I was flirting with this one dude but I wasn't. J told me to add this guy she found on Facebook on snap, I said okay and I called the dude a nickname like a Grandma would call their grandchildren. And I thought it was funny and the guy thought it was chill. I didn't think anything of it and then I blocked him because I didn't want to talk to him. She then decided to add the guy on snap. And she starts talking to him. The amount of times she has lied is crazy. I blocked him but she still has him on snap. For what reason I don't know.
J and Joe and I have recently had a lot of problems with each other. It's always J and Joe fighting and I'm between listening to them both argue about each other. I was getting tired of it. J hit my breaking point when she decided to ask me for my boyfriends sisters snap. You don't just ask your friend for her boyfriends sisters snap. That's weird. She also asked for my boyfriends and she looked him up when I told her no and she added a bunch of dudes with the same name. She didn't find him but there is no way I want her knowing him or his sister. I have too many trust issues with her. She's the main reason why a lot of my relationships didn't work out. They didn't like her and she manipulated me into saying things that upset them. She makes me so uncomfortable. She made me seem lesbian once when I know I'm not. But she made a TikTok about it and a lot of people from my school saw it. I don't like false accusations. I'm pretty sure she used it for clout. But also my parents think she's inlove with me because she can never leave me alone and she always HAS to hold hands or hug.
J doesn't understand a lot of things. And she calls me stupid. I honestly want karma to come get her but that's bad and I don't mean to say that. It hurts a lot.
I had blocked J on everything. But since I worked with J I saw her and she started bawling her eyes out at me saying she did nothing, I felt bad but I was annoyed because she kept bugging me. So I unblocked her. I decided to block her again after because my boyfriend said she was manipulating me. And well the more I had her blocked the nicer she was. After a while Joe did something to make me give up on my friendship with her too and J expected that to be a chance to get me back. And well she did practically. She was a lot nicer and I felt like she changed. But Man was I wrong.. Just today I was working my second night shift. I said something as a joke because I was hoping J would get what I meant. Her boyfriend was on the call... He took everything out of context and said something that made me feel less about myself. I already feel like crap being the person I am. I want to better myself but the more people say things the more I give up. I want to be encouraged not dragged down. I don't know why he has to be so mean. I never did anything to him. I don't know why they both have to be... I listen to her call people ugly all the time. Like just stop. I want her to stop. I'm leaving for the military soon, and she said that I can't get rid of her. That sounds psycho. And it honestly makes me want to get away more. I'm tired of the toxic environment and I want to get away. But she's everywhere. She knows everything about me. She has photos of me I hate. She has so many things she can use against me. I'm honestly scared. I want to block her again but I know she's just going to keep bugging me about it. And she might turn people against me. She's good at talking to people. I'm not I'm an introvert. I don't want her ever find me again once I leave. But I know she might try. People always find a way. And she's creepy. Because I know she'll be able to. But I just want to move on with my life. I don't know how to remove her from my life. What should I do?

My partner and I just passed 6 months of trying. I know this isn’t long at all in the scheme of things and I know technically speaking anything under a year is considered healthy and normal, but this milestone has hit me harder than I expected.
Some of the numbers around conception rates at this time are really making me feel hopeless. According to Cleveland Clinic, “80% of people who are having vaginal intercourse regularly and aren’t using birth control will successfully get pregnant within six months. By 12 months, an additional 5% will become pregnant”.
I know baseline health can only help so much with fertility, but it’s so hard to feel like we’re doing everything “right” and it’s just not working. We both work out regularly, we eat healthy and organic, I don’t drink alcohol at all, my partner only has a couple of drinks per week, we’re not huge coffee drinkers, we take our prenatals, we get good sleep, we’re using ovulation kits so our timing is right, etc etc.
In most of life, increased effort tends to lead to increased output, and it’s kind of a mindf*ck that suddenly in this realm of life there’s not much we can do to improve our odds (outside of fertility treatment).
Thankfully I have great health insurance and we were able to get fertility tested and everything checked out except for I had an inconclusive HSG and may or may not have one blocked tube. But that still means I have one that’s open for sure. We’re both 33 and have solid numbers.
It’s just hard to reconcile all of that with 6 months of negatives, and I’m just having a hard time staying hopeful.

clarifying: i do not have an eating disorder.
im 20 years old, 5'4, fluctuate between 120 and 130lbs and it hasn't been higher or lower than that in at least 6 years. im also almost 4 years on T.
i have always struggled to remember to eat, but it got worse this year when i was diagnosed with adhd and prescribed adderall, which unfortunately makes it even harder for me to eat. i don't get hungry at all. and now i'm going to be a camp counselor this summer which means i'll be getting quite a bit of physical exercise, and i'm really worried about losing weight or just not having the right kind of intake to uphold the level of activity i'll need.
even though i can't make myself eat a lot, i can drink a ton. a lot of my diet is liquid. i was thinking if im going to keep struggling to eat, maybe i can still get some nutrients and protein through a drink instead. but i don't really know where to start or what i would even need. i'm not looking to replace food, just add extra protein intake since i don't eat enough. i want to avoid anything with caffeine if i can, because caffeine doesn't mix well with my adderall. that's kind of all i know though. i don't know what other ingredients to look for or to avoid, how many calories i need, what specific proteins i should look for. i don't really understand how all those things work and i don't know what i should be looking for. any suggestions or advice helps

I want to develop a character who has DID derived from PTSD, which in turn arose from a four-day period of suffering different atrocities. The character has no explicit memories of this four-day period, but their subconscious locks it away to avoid the pain of trauma and develops disorders as a defense mechanism. In addition to the mentioned disorders, the character has developed a refusal to eat food due to an apparently irrational line of thought and sensation that if they eat, they would be hypocritical for something, and therefore, more guilty. The character has 5 personalities. So far, I've only been able to conceptualize 3: the assistant, the machine, and the monster.
The monster is the murderous and harmful personality. It's what the character most instinctively tries to avoid manifesting, even if they don't know exactly why. It's the embodiment of their potential evil, and its appearances are always accompanied by tension and suspense. Even if not actually manifested (or is it?), the mere fact of appearing in nightmares and hallucinations already triggers panic attacks in the character. This is the most mysterious personality because the character has doubts about the nature of this personality that doesn't offer many explanations beyond the simple fact that it knows everything about him and is playing and affecting him; Is it a personality or a distinct demon? Is it a delusion or is it real? Is it himself or a separate being pretending to be him to scare him? Is it capable of killing the personalities, and if so, why doesn't it do it immediately instead of leaving the personalities unharmed? Why psychologically torture him if the function of fragmented personalities is to help in self-preservation? If it's real, why does it let him escape at the end of its ''games''? This personality (or not) is physically the largest, the most technological, the most inhuman, and presents more feats of strength despite appearing less, all geared towards psychological torture mainly, a literal kind of haunting like Pennywise's. It wreaks psychological havoc on the character in each of its personalities, and the most sensitive one, which is the one the other personalities most try to avoid being impacted by the monster, is the assistant personality, the personality that personifies human essence and, being based on the Superego and Ego and reflecting the distant past spent with his deceased good mother whose values were transmitted in his childhood and adolescence, is the personality that tries to maintain order, predominate, and reunite the fragmented personalities, although this self-imposed role is not easy and it is difficult to deal with the fear of what could happen if people found out that he and the other four 'people' are actually the same person who has DID; it is difficult to represent order while his other parts are more inclined to chaos and there is no direct interaction between the personalities. The assistant personality has blindness, whose degree varies depending nuancemente on the external and internal security situation it feels, but is always present because it results from an unresolved trauma. Glasses are used, the only one who does this. Blindness is more present in the assistant personality and less manifested in the other personalities because they are more detached from humanity. The assistant personality is the most divergent from what the character was before DID. Its form is more human, shorter, and less cybernetic, precisely because it reflects a distant period from the current one of the character. (A side note: the character is, in a way, a shapeshifter, so its personalities have a distinct form, some more similar to each other and others less similar, and vice versa. The metamorphosis is restricted to the forms the character has already had in its life and afterlife, and those forms it did not have are a more adapted version of the personality concept). The assistant is the most sensitive personality and the one that most tries to be virtuous, and because of these characteristics, it is the most vulnerable to the monster.
The machine personality is the psychological barrier. A wall for any emotions. An internal shield for trauma. It looks like a robot, like a machine, both for sentimental and behavioral issues. It does not feel emotions, is extremely rational, and is very connected to technology. Indeed, it is the most technological personality in the purest sense of the word, while the monster personality is the most technological in the most monstrous sense. Its function is to offer a more impartial view of situations and, because of the monster, to be the most solid shield for the assistant personality not to be haunted directly (and possibly killed) by the monster.
There are 2 more personalities to develop, and I'm working on it since it's a new idea I had.
The character is Vox.
The conceptual ideas for this fanfic that I intend to create, combined with my hobby of self-studying psychology/psychoanalysis/psychiatry, made me realize that I attribute four disorders to Vox:
• DID: According to the DSM-5 criteria, to be considered DID it is necessary: ▪︎Two or more distinct identities or personality states are present, each with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and self. ▪︎Amnesia must occur, defined as gaps in the recall of everyday events, important personal information, and/or traumatic events. ▪︎The person must be distressed by the disorder or have trouble functioning in one or more major life areas because of the disorder. ▪︎The disturbance is not part of normal cultural or religious practices. ▪︎The symptoms cannot be due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (such as blackouts or chaotic behavior during alcohol intoxication) or a general medical condition (such as complex partial seizures).
• PTSD: Symptoms of PTSD fall into the following four categories. Specific symptoms can vary in severity.
Intrusion: Intrusive thoughts such as repeated, involuntary memories; distressing dreams; or flashbacks of the traumatic event. Flashbacks may be so vivid that people feel they are reliving the traumatic experience or seeing it before their eyes. Avoidance: Avoiding reminders of the traumatic event may include avoiding people, places, activities, objects and situations that may trigger distressing memories. People may try to avoid remembering or thinking about the traumatic event. They may resist talking about what happened or how they feel about it. Alterations in cognition and mood: Inability to remember important aspects of the traumatic event, negative thoughts and feelings leading to ongoing and distorted beliefs about oneself or others (e.g., “I am bad,” “No one can be trusted”); distorted thoughts about the cause or consequences of the event leading to wrongly blaming self or other; ongoing fear, horror, anger, guilt or shame; much less interest in activities previously enjoyed; feeling detached or estranged from others; or being unable to experience positive emotions (a void of happiness or satisfaction). Alterations in arousal and reactivity: Arousal and reactive symptoms may include being irritable and having angry outbursts; behaving recklessly or in a self-destructive way; being overly watchful of one's surroundings in a suspecting way; being easily startled; or having problems concentrating or sleeping. Many people who are exposed to a traumatic event experience symptoms similar to those described above in the days following the event. For a person to be diagnosed with PTSD, however, symptoms must last for more than a month and must cause significant distress or problems in the individual's daily functioning. Many individuals develop symptoms within three months of the trauma, but symptoms may appear later and often persist for months and sometimes years. PTSD often occurs with other related conditions, such as depression, substance use, memory problems and other physical and mental health problems.
The four tabs below provide brief descriptions of four conditions related to PTSD: acute stress disorder, adjustment disorder, disinhibited social engagement disorder, and reactive attachment disorder. Source: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd • Psychotic Depression: Psychotic depression Some people who have severe depression may also experience hallucinations and delusional thinking, the symptoms of psychosis.
Depression with psychosis is known as psychotic depression.
Symptoms of depression Someone with depression feels sad and hopeless for most of the day, practically every day, and has no interest in anything. Getting through the day feels almost impossible.
Other typical symptoms of depression may include:
fatigue (exhaustion) disturbed sleep changes in appetite feeling worthless and guilty being unable to concentrate or being indecisive thoughts of death or suicide Doctors describe depression as mild, moderate or severe depending on your symptoms, how long it lasts and how much it affects your daily life.
Read more about the psychological, physical and social symptoms of clinical depression
Symptoms of psychosis Having moments of psychosis (when people lose some contact with reality) means experiencing:
delusions – thoughts or beliefs that are unlikely to be true hallucinations – hearing and, in some cases, feeling, smelling, seeing or tasting things that are not there; hearing voices is a common hallucination The delusions and hallucinations almost always reflect the person's deeply depressed mood – for example, they may become convinced they're to blame for something, or that they've committed a crime.
"Psychomotor agitation" is also common. This means not being able to relax or sit still, and constantly fidgeting.
At the other extreme, a person with psychotic depression may have "psychomotor retardation", where both their thoughts and physical movements slow down.
People with psychotic depression have an increased risk of thinking about suicide. Source for more information: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/psychotic-depression/
• An as-yet unidentified eating disorder: This is the only one in which I do not know which exact diagnosis it fits into. It is a consequence of the trauma from the four-day period - including this period being one of the biggest mysteries in history and a great source of theories for readers, as it is the root of Vox's psychological mess, the divergence point that originated the entire fanfic and which the protagonist DOES NOT want to remember - that resulted in the trauma of eating. He does not feel like eating, not even the SIN OF GLUTTONY is able to make him eat - he is immune to her powers - and feels an apparently inexplicable instinct of guilt and hypocrisy when trying to eat, as if he were the worst being in the universe if he ate a food and a huge hypocrite; why and what exactly this innate thought of judging himself as a hypocrite is another mystery in the plot.
In this story, at least in the initial arcs, no one associates all five as being the same person, at most they associate only one/two of them with Vox. With the climaxes (yes, it's in the plural) throughout the story, the characters will find evidence and suspect and associate more and more of the other alters (as I call Vox's fragmented personalities) with the same person, which increases the narrative tension. Being the assistant personality the last to be accurately associated by the other characters, although she was the one that had the most tension and care in NOT being associated throughout the story because she is the human essence of Vox, reflects more the fragility of his soul state and is not ready to deal with the harsh social consequences that the actions of the other alters and Vox before DID caused, needing solid support and not wanting to lose all the friendly social relationships, although fragile, that he built as a separate being from Vox and the other alters. It is easier to hate than to love. The assistant personality does not want to risk losing the little support he has built. These relationships are extremely valuable to him. He doesn't want to have this taken away from him anymore. The relationships he built are based on the inhabitants of Hazbin Hotel.
All alters have Vox's trademark: the TV as
a head. All... except the assistant personality. This alter is the ONLY one that has a human head and is the smallest, being even a few centimeters smaller than Lucifer. The size of his hair goes up to just above his shoulders, but he ties them in a professional hairstyle. His clothes are similar to those of an assistant, and they have a palette of blue, black, and white colors. The color of his hair, influenced by his powers as a Media Demon, is black with dark blue streaks and tips.
His human appearance reflects a period when Vox was human. In my story Vox is a trans man, which means he was born female and went through a transition at some point in his adolescence or adulthood. The appearance of the assistant personality reflects an episode during his 13/14 years. In this episode, he did a special show for his father's assistant at a fancy restaurant. It was her last night in his life as she would unfortunately be sent away without a chance to return, and he was aware of this. He also knew that his father was responsible for her being sent away, although his innocence at the time made him not immediately detect that she would be KILLED by a hired hitman hired by the father and mother. The assistant was a loved one by the teenage Vox. She was a loving mother he never had, and because of the emotional attachment to her, he decided to do a musical show, showing for the first and last time to anyone his talent for piano and violin. He, at the time still not going through the transition, dressed more masculinely, used the best appearance he could, and used a pseudonym to enter the restaurant and make the presentation without being detected by the family. He did not explicitly specify for whom the music was intended, but the assistant, secretly his true biological mother, knew it was for her. That was the last time he would see her, and he made every second of that night count.
Vox's human female name was Elizabeth. I chose this name because it is a beautiful name, it was the name of the former queen of the United Kingdom, and it was the name of one of Jack the Ripper's victims, Elizabeth Stride.
Vox, during his adult life as a man and even post-death, buried his past as a woman. It was not a source of pride, especially for the family abuses suffered and the transphobia of the time. If the Vees, the people closest to him currently, do not have a deep understanding of Vox's human life as a man, imagine their knowledge of the initial part of his life before the transition!
That's why being called "Elizabeth" during the direct and indirect appearances of the monster personality already causes genuine and unmasked panic in him. It is an indication of knowledge of his deepest layers.
The story has a suspenseful atmosphere, with some horror scenes. We follow the alters individually, and as the story progresses, we realize along with the protagonist some strange, wrong things. The alters do not communicate directly with each other and, therefore, the character does not immediately perceive the signs of having multiple personalities. It was as if there were four people in one body and none of them noticed, according to the perspective of the assistant personality, the alter that we slowly follow discovering the huge web of the situation he's in. There's something very wrong with Vox, more specifically his soul. But there's an invisible barrier that prevents the character from investigating further, like an elephant in the middle of the room. Each alter has its own course, all acting as if they were distinct people and not associating with each other. This is bad socially speaking in the long run, because sooner or later the clash of beliefs and values built among the alters will come into conflict and the individual consequences of their actions will negatively impact each other. The monster personality served to add more salt to the wound. It is by far the most harmful, appearing little but causing a huge mess in return. Don't think of it as a kind of Hulk, because Hulk is a destructive monster that his counterpart, Bruce, can try to control and turn into a hero, and everyone is aware of Hulk's nature, which is easy to understand and try to contain; whereas the monster personality is an enigma at the same time as it is a nightmare, there is no discussion with it, it causes psychological terror in Vox's alters, its apparently internal actions affect the external world of the alters, it is unpredictable, it is the literal meaning of hell. The monster personality has already caused physical harm to the alters, although they did not exactly remember, mainly the assistant personality, the most oblivious of all for a reason. I want to relate the monster personality to Roo.

For years I had around 2-3 stools a day and then suddenly in February this year I noticed it had been a few days without one and then I had one but then it was another few days again until I had another and I thought it would pass , however we’re here in May and it’s still exactly the same. It’s even 4-5 days sometimes that I go without having a stool now. My diet didn’t change , my routine didn’t change… nothing. But I used to suffer with an eating disorder years ago and now I feel it creeping back up on me as I’m gaining weight due to not having frequent stools so it’s really causing me distress:/ I just don’t understand why it would randomly change like this !

My hair when i was a kid, was suuuuper curly, even had coils! As I got older & teen age, my curls loosened a bit bc I wasn’t taking care of it the way my curly hair needed. Now, my hair if I don’t do a lengthy routine, it looks like loose waves.
For any extra info that any help the reasoning, I did cut my hair very short back in January of 2023, and kept cutting it to the same length, i’m just now growing it out. When it’s shorter, it seems to be looser, rather than when it’s longer. My hair was to my butt, and I cut it to right under my chin. I’ve heard of “curl shock” was it this that changed the pattern? If so, will it come back with length?
I’ve also had an eating disorder, so i’m unsure if that was a reasoning why to maybe my curls have changed? Possibly because of the neglect to my body?
Is there any way I can keep my curls tight for now? Or is this a waiting game until my hair is long to see if that was the issue? 😅
(edit: spelling mistake!!)

TW: brief mentions of depression, suicidal ideation, and attempted suicide
When I (28F) was growing up, I was the golden child of the family. I didn't know it back then. Up until I was in high school I had a younger sister and an older half sister I only saw a few times a year. It wasn't like I never got in trouble or got yelled at, in fact I have a very vivid and hurtful memory where I was called a liar by my parents when I was being 100% truthful (they just didn't want to hear it and wanted someone to be mad at I guess), and then I was told to just "suck it up and get over it". But compared to my younger sister, who was compared to me in every way, I always had the perfect grades, perfect attitude, perfect behavior, etc. Our parents, especially our mother, who was the main parent taking care of us during the week, pretty much pitted us against each other constantly. My little sister was being told she needed to be more like me, and I was told my sister was a bad kid. I would try to help her stay out of trouble as a kid and would get mad when she didn't listen to me because i didnt understand she was just being herself and didn't need to be exactly like me. Up until college, I didn't understand that my sister didn't need to change, she needed her parents to love her as she was and help her instead of trying to mold her into some ideal of perfection. We were picked apart constantly about every little thing we did, and I was expected to always somehow know everything even if I'd never learned it before. My house was full of constant yelling due to the extremely high expectations and my mother's terrible temper, and it became a very stressful place to be starting when i was around 10. We went through a lot of financial hardships as well since I was very young, so I dont want to dismiss how hard things were for my parents and how much they went through. But I have always been hyper aware of how much it costs for me to exist as my mom stressed so many times over the years that she couldn't afford to buy even a new shirt because she had to buy stuff for us, as if that was at all our fault.
When i was in high school, my baby brother was born. He pretty much instantly became the new golden child, not only because he was the youngest and the only boy, but because it became clear at a very young age how intelligent he is. I was a straight A honors kid and he was blowing me out of the water since he learned to read. I didn't mind at all because 1) I was going to be going to college in a couple years, and 2) with our age difference, he was as much my son as my brother, and I took on a very loving parental role with him of my own volition. I also saw the promise in him and I wanted him to live a happy life. My little sister and him are very close to this day, at least to my knowledge. During this time they were still coming down really hard on my little sister, treating her as well as they always had - meaning they still yelled at her constantly and were overly critical of her and everything she even thought about doing. They talked about sending her to military school more than once, and pretty much resigned themselves to the idea my sister would never be able to live on her own before she even got to high school, let alone graduated.
Flash forward to when I was in college, I started coming home and noticing things about how my parents treated my sister, and for the first time I saw it for how terrible it was for her. The distance and time I spent away from the house helped my little sister and I completely change our relationship by my second or third year. What really solidified it was a series of events that happened my junior and senior years of college.
My sister moved to our town with her husband with their 2 very young boys, and we soon found out she was pregnant with twins. That is kind of where it all began to fall apart. Time showed not only that her husband is a massive pos, but also potentially abusive, although we never got concrete proof. As my sister's pregnancy progressed and they struggled to get on their feet, my parents started watching my nephews for hours at a time, sometimes the whole day. And if my parents had to babysit out of nowhere and put their lives on hold, me and my younger siblings were expected to do the same. No toys, no books, no games - nothing. Essentially, the entire house was expected to babysit in a way that i have been told wasn't normal. Even my little brother was expected to take on this role in caring for kids who were only a couple years younger than him. I spent my entire childhood taking care of my little sister and then my baby brother, and I hated seeing how they were doing the same to him when me and my little sister were at the age where it shouldve been left up to us. I started really butting heads with my parents as the situation progressed because they started yelling at my baby brother when the boys would even bump their heads even though it wasnt his fault. He never mistreated them, hit them, pushed them , or anything, so my parents justified it by saying he wasn't being a "good uncle" by "letting them" bump their heads on the tv stand, for example. He was expected to let them play with all of his toys, and my mom tried letting the boys use things that were very important to my brother, which would've ended up with the boys taking those things home. Saying it that way makes it sound a lot more mild that it was, but I'm trying to save time and not give out too many personal details. I guess you could say in short, my parents began expecting my elementary school age brother to give up his time, his space, his toys, his gifts - anything that meant anything to him, to help care for children when he was still a child not much older than them. I ended up giving my baby brother my room to not only keep his stuff in, but to sleep in.
In the end, my sister had the twins and then moved back to her home state about 6 months later. We think her no good husband lied to her about us and she cut contact with all of us, and we haven't heard from her since. In our house, the damage was done. I had long conversations with my little sister when our parents weren't around about how she needed to get out because of how they were treating her, and how I would eventually graduate and move to a city where I could find a job. But neither of us wanted to leave our little brother in that house because we were worried how they would treat him when we both left. Our parents had already proven they would throw any of us to the side at any second, even their golden child baby boy, and blame even him for anything that went wrong. Our parents have a history of spilling all our business at any holiday meal and badmouthing any little mistake. They would talk shit about us in front of us and shame us in front of family our entire lives, and if my sister and i weren't there to take the brunt of it, how long until they turned on my baby brother. Would they even wait until he wasn't "perfect" anymore?
Throughout all of this, I was struggling a lot in college, and starting around junior year i became very depressed and suicidal, which resulted in a major attempt in my 5th year of college, which to this day i don't like talking about. Before that, however, I went to my mom about feeling depressed and told her i thought i needed to talk to someone. She brushed me off. I was dumb enough to think that maybe she thought i was exaggerating, so i tried a second time to ask her for help about a year later, and she brushed me off again. Part of me blames her almost entirely for my attempts, because i came to her before any of them because i knew thats where it was headed if i didnt get help. All she had to do was make a couple phone calls to find me someone to talk to and she couldn't even do that for me. I was a scared girl who needed her mom's help because i didnt know who to turn to, and she turned her back on me. After my final attempt, I pulled myself up and got help, but my financial aid ran out and I was unable to return to school and finish my degree, so I went back to my parents house and was absolutely miserable for the next 6 months. I felt like a failure, like I wasn't "perfect" like i was supposed to be. I felt suffocated every single day and like the only ones who wanted me there were my siblings. One day I tried a little experiment and sat in the living room with my mom for the entire day and she didn't say one single word to me, didnt even acknowledge my existence. Ever since the stuff with my nephews happened, I had doubled my efforts to protect my siblings and take the brunt of my mom's anger, so I pushed back a lot when they tried to get onto my siblings for ridiculous things. I ended up ghosting my friends for 3 months because I was so depressed, and it really scared them. It was then I knew i had to get out of that house or it would kill me, so I moved into my grandparents' house a town over.
Things at my grandparents' house started okay, and i was even able to confide in them what had been going on at my parents' house, which in the end turned out to be a big mistake. I got a job working overnight at a retail store and met the guy who is now my boyfriend of 3 years. Unfortunately, the longer i spent at my grandparents' house the more i saw where my mom got it from, and they ended up treating me just as bad as what was going on at my parents' house. The only difference was that my sister wasn't there so i was taking the brunt of all of it. When things started getting tough for them after my grandpa retired, instead of sitting down with me like an adult and asking if it would contribute financially, my grandpa cornered me in the car when he was driving me back from work and guilted money out of me with a sob story. And guilted me at the dinner table the second time when they needed more money. One time i walked in the house after work and before i had even taken my shoes off or put my purse down to get my wallet out, he blocked the door to my room with his hand out like a loan shark to give him the money. I payed for all my own expenses, took short showers and kept as many lights off as i could, and told them not to buy me anything, even food. And in the end, even though they guilted me for money, then more money, and promised they wouldnt kick me out, they sold the house out from under me when they knew i was still trying to save for an apartment with what little money i had left a month. I ended up having to live with my best friend and her husband or i wouldve been homeless. I still helped them move even when they f-ed me over. And even after all that, I still went to holidays and visited my parents from time to time.
The last time i saw my grandparents they ran into me and my best friend in a store. My grandpa saw me first (he and my grandma were in different parts of the store), and starting yelling at me for pretty much cutting them off since i hadn't been to see them for months, and then when he started realizing he looked like the bad guy tried to make the reason i stopped talking to them about politics (i live in a conservative area) as if that would justify it. When my friend and i were trying to grab one last thing before we left because i was humiliated and trying not to cry, my grandma cornered me at the deli counter, had me pinned between the counter and a cart so i couldn't leave, and started yelling at me too. I was so broken back then, but i tried to tell both of them i would talk to them but not in the store. They just wanted to scream so we left. I haven't spoken to them since and have no plans to.
Eventually i moved 2 hours away back to the city i had went to college in. During that time, my grandparents drove the 3 hours to try to find where i lived, and then called trying to get me to come downstairs. I was asleep for work at the time but it made me feel so uncomfortable that they would do that. And after living there a year and my bf and i commuting to visit each other every other week, it came to the point where if i wanted our relationship to continue i had to move back. This is not something he ever brought up to me, this was a decision I came to on my own. So two years ago I moved back to the area I grew up in. We live an hour away from my hometown and 30 minutes away from the town i met my boyfriend in. And although he has family in both areas that we visit, I haven't seen or really talked to my parents or siblings since i initially moved out of the area.
A year ago, after a year of silence from me and from my parents, I dropped a box off at my parents' house when they weren't home with souvenirs i got them on vacation when i first moved back, short letters to each of them about the gifts, and a long video letter on a flash drive explaining everything I felt because i knew i couldn't go on without being honest and i knew if i tried to have a conversation in person, they wouldn't listen to me. I told them i wanted to keep them in my life but i couldn't ignore everything that had happened and the ways they treated me and my younger siblings. I told them i had no interest in continuing a relationship with my grandparents and that anything they have told them probably wasnt true. I sent them scans of my diaries as "proof" that i wasn't lying because that's the kind of house i grew up in - if you couldnt prove it, it didnt happen. I laid myself completely bare so that i could heal, knowing the whole time they may never want to speak to me again. I gave them pictures of me and my boyfriend and my new phone number anyway. The only thing i didn't give them was my address because we live on his family's land and his family, knowing a bit about my family and also about my grandparents essentially stalking me, don't want anyone from my family nosing around on the property. I don't want that either so i agreed not to give it out. The people in my life who knew about the box and the letter turned video letter were supportive of the idea given all i had been through, and I thought dropping it off would be the end of things.
Since then, I have healed from everything that has happened. I'm still angry and sad and i feel like I'm grieving every day, but I'm not the spineless, scared girl i used to be. My boyfriend has helped me become a better person in so many ways. But i still miss my family, especially my dad. I feel like he didnt deserve what i've done for reasons i cant go into, because the reality is he depends a lot on what my mom tells him because he works, and he trusts her deeply. I feel like in some regards he depended too much on her word, although he isnt completely innocent. There's obviously a lot more to my story that what I have here or else I'd be writing an autobiography, but just know if this all sounds like it isn't a big deal, I have so many stories and so much more detail that isn't safe to give out here.
The reality is my parents and i pushed each other away until we all became strangers long before everything blew up. I felt like a stranger from the time i left for college. I was made to feel like if i wasn't at home, i was a second thought, and a lot of very serious issues happened while i was away that i didnt find out about until i came home. My last year of college i was physically starving and could only afford to eat one meal a day if that. When i had left for school at the beginning of that school year my mother made it clear i had to figure it all out myself because they had no money to give me, but then i came home for Christmas and everyone but me had all new electronics. I cried asking for money to buy my uniform to start my campus job but they bought all new computers and tablets. And that stung.
Last Christmas, my parents and siblings messaged me. It was the first time I had heard from them since before i dropped off the box. It was just a Merry Christmas, but it absolutely shocked me. And then they all messaged again on my birthday. Same thing, just little pleasantries, but it makes me feel like maybe that door isn't closed. However, I have absolutely no idea if we can move forward, if they want to, or even if its a good idea to try. I have struggled a lot since college about whether or not all of this and everything I wasn't able to share here is or is not a big deal. I've had people close to me listen to my whole story and call it emotional neglect and abuse, but I just don't know. I feel crazy most of the time, and I'm afraid I'm exaggerating or making it up for attention or something, which also doesn't make sense. I struggle a lot in my day to day. I am ruled by the emotions of those around me and i cower like a kicked puppy when people around me are upset, even if its not my fault. I get ashamed when i make a mistake or i'm not "perfect", and if my feelings are valid I have no idea if it would be a good idea to get back in touch. But i think about if/when my boyfriend and i get married, and how i have no family to sit on my side. It sometimes feels like it's my fault because i wasn't strong enough to just shut up and deal with it anymore. At this point I dont know what is the right answer, what's going to finally give me peace. For now, I just keep moving forward trying to build a better life with my boyfriend and hope all the pieces will fall into place later.

This will be a long post but I’m going to try my hardest to make it shorter!
I (30F) have been with my partner (28M) for 10 years. I fell pregnant 3 years into the relationship and we now have a 7 year old boy with autism. During the newborn stage my partner worked A LOT and went to college to learn a new trade to support us (he is now an electrician that works 12 hour shifts, 7 days on 4 days off, days and nights), so I have always been on my own a lot. During the newborn stage my partner never got up with our son, never fed him, bathed him etc. I devolved post natal depression, I have a history of mental health issues so this wasn’t a surprise to me, I just expected a bit more help. I went back to work once my MAT leave was up and started to feel better and more “Mel.
Fast forward to 3 years ago, I had a miscarriage and was in hospital with sepsis and needed a D&C due to the hospital missing “remains” I had in my womb. This then led to a mental breakdown and I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, PTSD, anxiety and OCD. During this time I was still on my own a lot despite begging not to be, still caring for my child on my own whilst hallucinating and being paranoid. I was still getting up and doing everything around the home and all the childcare despite now being on antipsychotics, the last time I had a lay in was 3 years ago when I was in hospital. My partner stays in bed till 10:30/11 on the days he’s not working, I do everything around the home, cooking, cleaning, school lunches, ironing, walking the dog, supporting and bringing up my autistic child, food shopping, baths etc. Every single thing you can think of apart from going to work I do. I get my nails done once a month, which I can’t really afford time wise, them 2 hours I’m out the home I could be doing the jobs I need to do around the home, he won’t do them just because I’m out, he’ll leave them for me to do when I’m home, including walking the dog. He won’t cook dinner, he wouldn’t even know what to put in his child’s packed lunch box and he refuses to feed the dog because it’s raw meat and won’t touch it.
Whilst I agree that me not going to work is a luxury (I was made redundant and recovering from a mental breakdown; I would not have been able to work), I feel more overwhelmed now than I did before I went to work. He says me not working is why I should do everything around the home, but I also done everything around the home when I worked?
He is always so irritated, shouts at our child if he is having a meltdown or sensory issues, struggles to keep his patience with him and doesn’t have much of a relationship (I never get time on my own to have a bath etc because I am my sons comfort and soul carer). He will either sit on his phone or sit on his PlayStation in the bedroom, eventually be irritated with that, shout and scare my dog and just ruin the mood in the home. I bring all of this up to him but he is like a petulant child and tbh I end up ignoring him because I cannot be bothered with it.
As someone who experiences MH issues I have asked him if he feels depressed and he says no, I ask for a reason as to why he’s to angry all the time and he says he’s just tired (understandable, I mean so am I but I’m not angry and I’m still able to parent).
The last 2 weeks I feel like I’ve logged out mentally in terms of my relationship and I told him this. On top of everything I do around the home, he finds it “weird” that we don’t have sex. I am treated like a maid, a cook, a cleaner, a child care provider and a dog walker, I’m not adding a sex worker to the list. There is no romance, no date nights as he is always working, and the odd occasion he isn’t working our date nights include me, him and his phone. I refuse to have sex with someone that doesn’t care about me enough to help me ease the load I have on top of me, who is irritated all the time and lazy when it comes to parenting and his home.