The hosting provider you choose can significantly impact your website's performance, security, and overall success. In this comprehensive comparison, we'll delve into the intricacies of Hostinger and DreamHost, two popular options that cater to various needs and budgets. By the end of this article, you'll be equipped to make an informed decision based on your specific requirements.
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Features and Pricing

Both Hostinger and DreamHost offer an array of hosting plans, including shared hosting, cloud hosting, VPS hosting, and managed WordPress hosting. However, there are subtle differences in their feature sets and pricing structures.
Hostinger

• Shared Hosting: Starting at $2.99/month, Hostinger's shared hosting plans offer generous features like a free domain, unlimited bandwidth, a user-friendly website builder, and a free SSL certificate.
• Cloud Hosting: For enhanced performance and scalability, Hostinger's cloud hosting plans start at $9.99/month. These plans offer dedicated resources, SSD storage, and a 99.9% uptime guarantee.
• VPS Hosting: Power users and businesses with resource-intensive websites can opt for Hostinger's VPS hosting plans, starting at $3.99/month. These plans provide full root access, dedicated IP addresses, and customizable server configurations.
• Managed WordPress Hosting: Hostinger's managed WordPress hosting plans start at $1.99/month. These plans are optimized for WordPress performance and offer automatic updates, daily backups, and 24/7 expert support.

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DreamHost

• Shared Hosting: DreamHost's shared hosting plans start at $2.59/month and include a free domain, unlimited bandwidth, a website builder, and a free SSL certificate.
• DreamPress: DreamHost's managed WordPress hosting plans, known as DreamPress, start at $16.95/month. These plans offer automatic updates, daily backups, and 24/7 expert support.
• VPS Hosting: DreamHost's VPS hosting plans start at $10/month and provide customizable server configurations, full root access, and unlimited bandwidth.
• Dedicated Servers: For maximum performance and control, DreamHost offers dedicated servers starting at $149/month. These plans provide dedicated resources and complete server management.

Performance and Uptime

When it comes to website hosting, performance is paramount. A slow website can lead to frustrated visitors and lost revenue. Both Hostinger and DreamHost boast impressive uptime records and utilize cutting-edge technologies to ensure optimal website speed.
Hostinger

• Hostinger leverages LiteSpeed web servers and their proprietary LSCache plugin to accelerate website loading times.
• They also offer a global content delivery network (CDN) to serve content from servers closest to your visitors, further enhancing website speed.
• Hostinger consistently achieves uptime rates exceeding 99.9%.

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DreamHost

• DreamHost utilizes SSD storage and advanced caching mechanisms to deliver fast website performance.
• They offer a free CDN through their partnership with Cloudflare.
• DreamHost also maintains uptime rates above 99.9%.

Security

Website security is a critical concern for any website owner. Both Hostinger and DreamHost offer robust security measures to protect your website from threats.
Hostinger

• Hostinger provides a free SSL certificate with all hosting plans.
• They offer automated daily backups and a user-friendly backup restoration tool.
• Hostinger's servers are protected by a web application firewall (WAF) and a distributed denial-of-service (DDoS) protection system.

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DreamHost

• DreamHost includes a free SSL certificate with all hosting plans.
• They offer daily automated backups and on-demand backups.
• DreamHost's servers are fortified with multiple layers of security, including a WAF, DDoS protection, and server-level firewalls.

Customer Support

When you encounter technical issues or have questions about your hosting plan, reliable customer support is essential. Both Hostinger and DreamHost offer various support channels and resources to assist their customers.
Hostinger

• Hostinger offers 24/7 live chat and email support.
• They have an extensive knowledge base and a community forum where users can find answers to their questions.
• Hostinger also offers phone support for select plans.

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DreamHost

• DreamHost provides 24/7 ticket-based support and live chat during select hours.
• They have a comprehensive knowledge base and community forum.
• DreamHost does not offer phone support.

User Interface and Ease of Use

A user-friendly interface is crucial for managing your hosting account and website settings. Both Hostinger and DreamHost offer intuitive control panels that simplify the management process.
Hostinger

• Hostinger utilizes hPanel, a custom-built control panel that is easy to navigate and understand.
• hPanel provides quick access to all essential features and settings.
• Hostinger also offers a drag-and-drop website builder for users who prefer a visual approach to website creation.

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DreamHost

• DreamHost uses a proprietary control panel that is streamlined and efficient.
• The control panel may require a slight learning curve for some users, but it offers comprehensive functionality.
• DreamHost does not have a built-in website builder, but they offer one-click installations for popular content management systems (CMS) like WordPress.

Additional Considerations
Beyond the core features and services, there are a few additional factors to consider when choosing between Hostinger and DreamHost.
Money-Back Guarantees:

• Hostinger offers a 30-day money-back guarantee.
• DreamHost boasts an impressive 97-day money-back guarantee.

Free Domain:

• Both Hostinger and DreamHost offer a free domain name for the first year with select hosting plans.

Email Hosting:

• Both providers offer professional email hosting with their hosting plans.

Green Hosting:

• DreamHost is committed to environmental sustainability and powers its data centers with renewable energy sources.

Conclusion
Both Hostinger and DreamHost are reputable hosting providers with a wide range of features and services to suit various needs and budgets. Ultimately, the best choice for you will depend on your specific requirements and preferences.
If you prioritize affordability, a user-friendly interface, and exceptional performance, Hostinger may be the ideal choice for you. On the other hand, if you value a longer money-back guarantee, a commitment to environmental sustainability, and extensive WordPress expertise, DreamHost might be a better fit.
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I'll just leave some suggestions here that I'd like to see implemented. Because there are personal suggestions, I'd like to hear both the community and devs share their opinions or more suggestions
The game:

• Add extra work tiles. This might be very personal and specific for me, because I often get on very long new creation streaks. Especially since you're trying to monetize the game more, you could sell it for quite a cheap price like 5 bucks. I can't promise a lot of people will need it, but it doesn't seem like a very hard thing to add + it creates some profit
  
• Decrease the loading time. Probably need to lower the amount of elements that get loaded from the start
  
• Improve the searching of elements. For example, I have the element "2 pillows". To find it, I would have to start by searching "2". If I search with just "Pillows", nothing will show up even though it's (the most important) part of the word
  
• More leveling rewards. I heard of themes/accessories being in the works. It would be cool if we could be awarded with greater rewards for reaching "milestones". Whether it's an hour of infinite energy, a pack of free elements, or something visual. It would really make the leveling system feel more rewarding rather than a nuisance of collecting small rewards
  
• Community challenges. Basically, hints have gotten useless once you completed every goal. To make hints useful again and have the community engage more with the game, you could implement weekly (or even daily) challenges to create certain elements created by the community. Users could upload an element (maybe with a game interface, if that's easier than Reddit), which the devs can choose to be a daily challenge for players to try and create (and spend hints on)
  
• A friend system (or anything to make the community engage more with each other). Since the game is entirely community based and it's easy for even new players to quickly create first evers, I think it would be really cool to share them with each other for them to create as well. It could maybe work like a sort of trading system where both add an element the other doesn't have yet, so they can both gain elements. This could also cost coins to do. Heck, you can turn this into a marketplace HAHAHA. A friend system might be a lot, but I think the community should have an easier time to help each other out or flex their creations
  

The community:

• I know you already had one and are planning on creating a new one, but a Discord server would greatly benefit the community. While Reddit allows us to make our own posts, it's hard to get to know the community and grow closer to it. Engaging with users in an off topic chat, easily being able to host events (like the challenge thing I recommended before), and dedicated channels for posting cool certain creations. I'm aware that there are a lot of users who prefer Reddit, but for myself I'm usually active on Discord and would have an easier time posting there
  
• Similar to what I mentioned just now, I'd love to see threads to specific categories. I once made a post on a lot of games and gaming related things I found, so it would be cool if we had threads made for posting games, series, books, celebrities, or anything nerdy. I'd love to see what other games people have created
  

So for context I (21F) am the youngest of 6 siblings and when my eldest sibling, (my brother) turned 21 he died only days later in a car accident. Although this was quite some time ago. But of course coming from a big family it was difficult and completely devastating. All my siblings are 2 years apart from one another but due to how blended my family is I’m 7 years apart from the 5th sibling, who for this story I’ll call James (29M). Now this story may be long and a bit confusing but please bare with me as I try my best to write it. James and I are the one who are 7 years apart. We do not share the same dad, however he calls my dad “dad” and my father helped raise him and is on his birth certificate. After losing my eldest brother my mum and dads health declined rapidly. My mum had open heart surgery and my dad had 5 brain surgery’s. My mum to this day has never really recovered.
Now I know hate is a strong word, especially to describe your own brother but EVERYTHING my brother does just infuriates me. So here’s where I could be the A-hole.
There’s not one specific reason as to why I feel this way about my brother but I’ll try my best to explain. When I was 16 and James was 24, within a year he slept with 2 of my best friends who were only 17 at the time. I did not find out about this until they had already turned 18. He would steal the family electronics to pawn them for money because he was spending all his money on alcohol and drugs. If he was ever confronted about these things he would ALWAYS LIE. When I was younger and not working my parents used to give me any of their coins and I would save for the whole year so I could go to our local show (fair). Given we had such a big family and I couldn’t work I thought if I could save for the year it was one less stress on my parents. One year James stole EVERY penny a week out from the show (fair), I couldn’t go that year (he stole around $150AUD) .
Now a lot of these times my brother would just get away with it all because everyone felt bad for him or because he had a way of charming people and they would just pretend it never happened. Almost all of his previous relationships ended physically but he calls them all “crazy” to justify his poor behaviour. When I turned 18 and was living with my parents we were to pay board, so we could help them rent and any bills they had. Around a year ago we started buying our own groceries and cooking our own food. This was just so our parents could prepare us for the “real world”. Which in all honesty I’m so glad they did because it helped me tremendously! However my brother proceeds to eat everyone else’s food and not contribute to bills, despite having a well paying job. We even went as far as having designated selves and labelling things. Despite this, just the other week he ate mine and my boyfriend’s leftovers and then put the empty container back in the fridge!
Now I won’t ramble on too much longer but the worse thing of all is the way he treats my parents. All my other siblings have moved out so it’s just me and James living with parents. My mum being as sick as she is, is unfortunately the target to all of my brothers unwarranted out bursts. He yells at her and tells her “you just wish it was me in that car” referring to my brother who died and “I’ll just go kms and then you’ll have no son left”. My dad is less vocal during confrontational times but when he is involved James goes from calling him “dad” to calling him his actual name.
With all that said, that was barely a glimpse of what I’ve had to deal with. I used to come up with every excuse to justify all the things james has done. But now when I look at him or he tries to talk to me I truly can’t stand him. Personally I have never met a more arrogant and manipulative person. I can no longer make excuses for him. It breaks my heart to think of my brother like this but I feel like the a-hole because at the end of the day he’s family. So AITA?

Sustainable Fabrics in Designer Salwar Kameez: Eco-conscious Choices 2024

The world of fashion is embracing sustainability, and the exquisite realm of designer Salwar Kameez is no exception. Today's eco-conscious consumers are increasingly seeking luxury with a conscience. This blog delves into the world of sustainable fabrics used in designer Salwar Kameez for 2024, empowering you to make informed choices that are kind to the planet and effortlessly stylish.
Why Sustainable Fabrics?
The fashion industry has a significant environmental footprint. Sustainable fabrics offer a solution by:

• Reducing reliance on synthetic materials: These often require large amounts of energy and harsh chemicals to produce.
• Promoting eco-friendly practices: Sustainable fabrics often utilize organic farming methods and recycled materials.
• Minimizing waste: Many sustainable fabrics are derived from recycled resources or natural materials that decompose easily.

Top Sustainable Fabric Choices in Designer Salwar Kameez:
1. Organic Cotton:

• A classic for a reason! Organic cotton uses far less water and harmful pesticides than conventionally grown cotton.
• Look for designer Salwar Kameez featuring GOTS (Global Organic Textile Standard) certification for complete assurance.
• Organic cotton drapes beautifully and is perfect for creating comfortable yet elegant silhouettes.

2. Tencel™ Lyocell:

• Derived from wood pulp harvested from sustainably managed forests, Tencel™ offers a luxurious feel similar to silk.
• This eco-friendly fabric is known for its breathability, wrinkle resistance, and rich drape.
• Top designers are incorporating Tencel™ into stunning Salwar Kameez sets perfect for formal occasions.

3. Recycled Polyester:

• Don't be fooled by the word "recycled"! Repurposed plastic bottles are transformed into luxurious fabrics that are soft, durable, and versatile.
• This is a great choice for creating bold, statement pieces with a sustainable edge.
• Look for designers who use high-quality recycled polyester for a truly luxurious feel.

4. Linen:

• A naturally sustainable fabric, linen is known for its strength, breathability, and beautiful texture.
• Perfect for creating breezy summer Salwar Kameez sets with a sophisticated touch.
• Linen often softens with each wash, becoming even more comfortable over time.

5. Bamboo Fabric:

• This rapidly renewable resource offers a soft, breathable, and hypoallergenic option.
• Bamboo fabric is known for its moisture-wicking properties, making it ideal for warmer climates.
• Look for designers who use ethically sourced bamboo to ensure true sustainability.

Beyond Fabrics: Sustainable Practices
1. Fair Trade:

• Support designers who ensure fair wages and safe working conditions for artisans.
• Fair Trade practices contribute to a more sustainable fashion industry overall.

2. Timeless Design:

• Investing in a well-made, classic Salwar Kameez made with sustainable fabrics ensures you'll wear it for years to come.
• This reduces the need for fast fashion and its associated environmental impact.

Sustainable Salwar Kameez: A Statement of Style and Responsibility
Choosing designer Salwar Kameez made with sustainable fabrics allows you to express your unique style while embracing eco-conscious practices. Look for designers who are transparent about their materials and production processes. By making informed choices, you can be a part of the solution for a more sustainable future of fashion. Shop designer women's clothing in Kerala and discover exquisite craftsmanship, vibrant colors, and breathtaking designs. From elegant silk sarees to intricately embroidered kurtas, Kerala's designers offer something for every taste and style.pen_spark
Embrace the beauty of sustainable luxury! Explore the world of designer Salwar Kameez crafted with a conscience and celebrate fashion with a green heart.

WHOLE STORY WITH SIMPLIFIED CONVO
Good day, I was an employee in a small firm, itago nalang natin sa pangalang XXX. It has been a year past before I resigned.
Timeline:
March 21, 2024,
I filed my resignation, and it took 3 processing days before they agreed on my resignation. There is no policy regarding the clearance but only a final instruction via conversation in microsoft (I still have the evidence)
March 26, 2024
is my last day, I already settled all the company assets (like Devices, documents, Company ID's)_ in our office where I reside. The following days, there are no further instructions, so I have assumed that I settled everything to them and at the same time, they terminated my microsoft account.
April 23, 2024.
almost 30 days, I emailed them a short notice regarding my remaining collectibles using my personal Microsoft account since they already terminated my company account. I also texted them on their phone number, but I haven't received any reply text.
"Dear XXX ManagementGood morning, ma'am and sir. ........

1. OEC (Employment of Certificate) send via email as per meeting
2. 13th Month Salary as per law
3. March Unpaid Salary
4. Other(s):

Remaining Unpaid leaves (as per company policy)Contributions

1. Payslip (send via email)

April 25, 2024.
I tried to reach them; I talked to my employer thru messenger"Nag good morning ako sa employer and sinabi ko na nag mail ako sa kanila thru outlook, nag reply yung employer at sinabi na, nabasa nila at nalulungkot daw sya kasi wala naman daw akong naririnig sa kanila na demand kahit noon pa, bakit daw ako nag dedemand at hindi naman daw nila tinatakbuhan ang resposisbilities nila sa mga nag resign"The employer said that by the end of april, she will settled all my collectibles and will message me back.
Aril 30,2024
The employer messaged me back, as expected they hold back their promise because the client payment has not yet been reflected on their account, maybe this friday.
May 5,9,13, 2024
I try to follow up my demand, but they still insist because of the similar reason which has been a case on my whole year of working in my company. Despite that, they still give me the same response, so I did asked them about the processing.Medyo nag dududa na ako, it is an instinct sa isang tao ang mag duda right? kaya nag tanong ako
"Sinabi ko sa employer na nag dodoubt na ako, kaya tinanong ko kung ano ba yung courier service nila at ano na ang status. The employer told me na, ganyan na ba kasama ang XXX company saakin para pag dudahan ko, hindi naman daw sila tumatakas sa responsibility nila sa mga nag resign na may mga collectibles, lahat yun na sesettle, sadyang wala talaga kasi hindi pa ang babayad ang client, kahit daw yung employee nila is wala parin sweldo"
On my perspective, since I am no longer working for them, there is no reason to continue withholding my collectibles they should have think this thru since madami ng beses ako pinangakuan hinid lang after ko mag resign, noong december pa sila ganyan, at satingin ko hindi na tama ang action nila, kung hindi man stable ang cashflow satingin ko may iba pa naman paraan ayoko lang sabihin kasi it is not my legal right. After that case, I went to DOLE and inquire before I file a report.

1. is it legal for the EMPLOYER to be aggressive whenever a EMPLOYEE demand for their final payment, I feel like I am being disrespected by my employer with them being unreasonable with their words since I only want a confirmation and answers. If yes, is there a labor act I can file against them?
2. what if I nag comply saakin yung company, pwede ko ba i pa cancel yung conference, may consequence ba?
3. Also, ano ang advice nyo if ever na dumating sa point na both parties are agreed to attend in conference. with arbitrary?Ano po ba ang process ng conference, and if ever may debate, if manalo ako, ano po ang mga consequence ng opposite party?
4. Do I need to remind my company regarding the conciliation or let DOLE take an action?Thank you for reading.

So for context I (21F) am the youngest of 6 siblings and when my eldest sibling, (my brother) turned 21 he died only days later in a car accident. Although this was quite some time ago. But of course coming from a big family it was difficult and completely devastating. All my siblings are 2 years apart from one another but due to how blended my family is I’m 7 years apart from the 5th sibling, who for this story I’ll call James (29M). Now this story may be long and a bit confusing but please bare with me as I try my best to write it. James and I are the one who are 7 years apart. We do not share the same dad, however he calls my dad “dad” and my father helped raise him and is on his birth certificate. After losing my eldest brother my mum and dads health declined rapidly. My mum had open heart surgery and my dad had 5 brain surgery’s. My mum to this day has never really recovered.
Now I know hate is a strong word, especially to describe your own brother but EVERYTHING my brother does just infuriates me. So here’s where I could be the A-hole.
There’s not one specific reason as to why I feel this way about my brother but I’ll try my best to explain. When I was 16 and James was 24, within a year he slept with 2 of my best friends who were only 17 at the time. I did not find out about this until they had already turned 18. He would steal the family electronics to pawn them for money because he was spending all his money on alcohol and drugs. If he was ever confronted about these things he would ALWAYS LIE. When I was younger and not working my parents used to give me any of their coins and I would save for the whole year so I could go to our local show (fair). Given we had such a big family and I couldn’t work I thought if I could save for the year it was one less stress on my parents. One year James stole EVERY penny a week out from the show (fair), I couldn’t go that year (he stole around $150AUD) .
Now a lot of these times my brother would just get away with it all because everyone felt bad for him or because he had a way of charming people and they would just pretend it never happened. Almost all of his previous relationships ended physically but he calls them all “crazy” to justify his poor behaviour. When I turned 18 and was living with my parents we were to pay board, so we could help them rent and any bills they had. Around a year ago we started buying our own groceries and cooking our own food. This was just so our parents could prepare us for the “real world”. Which in all honesty I’m so glad they did because it helped me tremendously! However my brother proceeds to eat everyone else’s food and not contribute to bills, despite having a well paying job. We even went as far as having designated selves and labelling things. Despite this, just the other week he ate mine and my boyfriend’s leftovers and then put the empty container back in the fridge!
Now I won’t ramble on too much longer but the worse thing of all is the way he treats my parents. All my other siblings have moved out so it’s just me and James living with parents. My mum being as sick as she is, is unfortunately the target to all of my brothers unwarranted out bursts. He yells at her and tells her “you just wish it was me in that car” referring to my brother who died and “I’ll just go kms and then you’ll have no son left”. My dad is less vocal during confrontational times but when he is involved James goes from calling him “dad” to calling him his actual name.
With all that said, that was barely a glimpse of what I’ve had to deal with. I used to come up with every excuse to justify all the things james has done. But now when I look at him or he tries to talk to me I truly can’t stand him. Personally I have never met a more arrogant and manipulative person. I can no longer make excuses for him. It breaks my heart to think of my brother like this but I feel like the a-hole because at the end of the day he’s family but I hate the person he’s become. So AITA?

Hostinger is a popular web hosting provider known for its affordability, intuitive interface, and robust features. Whether you're starting a personal blog, an online portfolio, a small business website, or an e-commerce store, Hostinger offers the tools to get you online quickly and easily.
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Why Choose Hostinger?

• Affordable: Hostinger offers competitive pricing, especially for new users.
• User-Friendly: Their website builder is designed for beginners, requiring no coding knowledge.
• Feature-Rich: You get access to various features, including templates, e-commerce tools, SEO optimization, and more.
• Reliable: Hostinger boasts high uptime and good performance.
• Customer Support: They offer 24/7 live chat support to assist you.

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Step-by-Step Guide

1. Sign Up for a Hostinger Account:
   • Visit the Hostinger website.
   • Choose a hosting plan that suits your needs (e.g., Single Web Hosting, Premium Web Hosting, Business Web Hosting).
   • Create an account by providing your email address and a password, or sign up using your Google or Facebook account.
2. Choose a Domain Name (or Use an Existing One):
   • If you don't have a domain name, you can purchase one through Hostinger during the signup process.
   • If you already own a domain, you can point it to Hostinger by updating the nameservers in your domain registrar settings.
3. Select Your Website Building Method: Hostinger offers two primary ways to build your website:
   • Hostinger Website Builder: This is the easiest option for beginners. It provides a drag-and-drop interface with a variety of customizable templates.
   • WordPress: WordPress is a popular content management system (CMS) that offers more flexibility and customization options. Hostinger provides a one-click WordPress installation.
4. Build Your Website:Hostinger Website BuilderWordPress
   • Choose a template that matches your website's purpose.
   • Customize the template by adding your content (text, images, videos), changing colors, fonts, and layouts.
   • Use the drag-and-drop interface to easily add elements like galleries, contact forms, maps, and more.
   • Explore additional features like blogs, online stores, and integrations with social media platforms.
   • Install WordPress with one click from your Hostinger hPanel.
   • Choose a WordPress theme that aligns with your website's design and functionality.
   • Install plugins to add extra features like SEO optimization, contact forms, security enhancements, and e-commerce capabilities.
   • Customize your website by adding pages, posts, menus, widgets, and more.
5. Optimize for SEO:
   • Use relevant keywords throughout your website's content.
   • Optimize your images with descriptive file names and alt text.
   • Create a sitemap and submit it to search engines.
   • Use Hostinger's SEO toolkit to analyze and improve your website's visibility.
6. Publish Your Website:
   • Once you're satisfied with your website, click the "Publish" button.
   • Your website will be live and accessible to visitors!

Additional Tips

• Regularly Update Content: Keep your website fresh and engaging by adding new content regularly.
• Monitor Website Performance: Use tools like Google Analytics to track website traffic and identify areas for improvement.
• Back Up Your Website: Regularly create backups of your website to protect against data loss.

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Example: Creating a Blog on Hostinger
Let's say you want to start a blog about your travels. You can use the Hostinger Website Builder and select a blog template. Customize it with your photos, travel stories, and tips. Add a contact form so readers can reach out, and integrate social media buttons to share your posts. With Hostinger, creating and managing your blog is a breeze.
Important Considerations

• Choose the Right Plan: Assess your website's needs in terms of storage, bandwidth, and features to select the appropriate hosting plan.
• Consider Scalability: If you anticipate your website growing significantly, choose a plan that allows for easy upgrades.
• Security: Enable SSL certificates to encrypt data transmitted between your website and visitors.
• Performance: Optimize your website's speed by compressing images, enabling caching, and using a content delivery network (CDN).

Advanced Features
Once you're comfortable with the basics, explore Hostinger's advanced features to enhance your website:

• E-commerce Tools: Set up an online store using Hostinger's built-in e-commerce features or popular platforms like WooCommerce (for WordPress).
• Marketing Integrations: Connect your website to email marketing tools, social media platforms, and analytics platforms to track your performance and reach a wider audience.
• Custom Code: If you have some coding knowledge, you can add custom HTML, CSS, or JavaScript to further customize your website's appearance and functionality.
• Developer Tools: Hostinger offers features like SSH access, Git integration, and staging environments for developers who want more control over their websites.

Upgrading Your Hosting Plan
As your website grows, you might need more resources. Hostinger makes it easy to upgrade your hosting plan to accommodate increased traffic and storage needs.
The Hostinger Community
Hostinger has an active community forum where you can connect with other users, ask questions, and get help from experienced webmasters.
Conclusion
Building a website with Hostinger is a straightforward process, even if you have no prior experience. Their intuitive website builder, one-click WordPress installation, and robust features make it easy to create a professional-looking website in no time. Whether you're a blogger, an entrepreneur, or a creative professional, Hostinger provides the tools and support you need to establish your online presence and achieve your goals.
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Choosing the right web host is crucial for your website's success. It impacts speed, reliability, security, and ultimately, user experience. Two prominent contenders in the hosting arena are SiteGround and Hostinger. In this in-depth comparison, we'll dissect their features, performance, pricing, and suitability for various users.
Table of Contents

1. Introduction
2. Performance and Uptime
3. Pricing and Plans
4. Features and Tools
5. Security Measures
6. Customer Support
7. User Experience and Interface
8. Strengths and Weaknesses
9. Best For Which Users?
10. Conclusion

1. Introduction

SiteGround: Known for its robust features, excellent support, and focus on managed WordPress hosting.
Hostinger: A popular choice for budget-conscious users, offering impressive performance and a user-friendly interface.
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2. Performance and Uptime

SiteGround: Consistently delivers exceptional uptime (99.99%) and impressive loading speeds due to Google Cloud infrastructure, advanced caching, and server optimizations.
Hostinger: Also boasts excellent uptime (99.9%) and fast loading times thanks to LiteSpeed web servers and caching mechanisms.
Verdict: Both hosts excel in performance, with SiteGround having a slight edge in uptime guarantees.
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3. Pricing and Plans

SiteGround: Offers a range of plans, starting at a slightly higher price point than Hostinger. Their plans come with more advanced features like staging environments, automatic backups, and premium support.
Hostinger: Known for its budget-friendly options, making it appealing to beginners and those on a tight budget. Their plans may lack some advanced features compared to SiteGround.
Verdict: Hostinger wins on affordability, while SiteGround offers more value-packed plans for those willing to invest a bit more.
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4. Features and Tools

SiteGround:

• Managed WordPress Hosting: Specialized features like automatic updates, WP-CLI, and staging environments.
• Site Tools: Their intuitive control panel simplifies website management.
• Free CDN: Integrates with Cloudflare for improved website performance.
• Email Hosting: Includes robust email hosting options.
• Collaboration Tools: Easily add collaborators and manage permissions.

Hostinger:

• hPanel: Their custom control panel is modern and beginner-friendly.
• Zyro Website Builder: Includes a drag-and-drop website builder for easy site creation.
• One-Click Installer: Simplifies the installation of popular applications like WordPress.
• Free Domain: Offers a free domain name with most plans.

Verdict: Both hosts offer a solid set of features, with SiteGround providing more WordPress-specific tools and Hostinger excelling in beginner-friendliness.
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5. Security Measures

SiteGround:

• Free SSL Certificates: All plans include free Let's Encrypt SSL certificates.
• Web Application Firewall (WAF): Protects against common web attacks.
• Daily Backups: Automatic daily backups ensure data security.
• AI Anti-Bot System: Blocks malicious bot traffic.

Hostinger:

• BitNinja Server Security: Includes server-level protection against various threats.
• Cloudflare Protection: Integrates with Cloudflare for DDoS protection and enhanced security.
• Weekly Backups: Offers weekly backups for most plans.

Verdict: Both hosts prioritize security, with SiteGround offering slightly more comprehensive measures.
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6. Customer Support

SiteGround: Renowned for its fast and knowledgeable support team, available 24/7 via live chat, phone, and tickets. Their support staff often goes the extra mile to resolve issues. Hostinger: Provides 24/7 live chat support and a comprehensive knowledge base. While their support is generally helpful, some users have reported longer wait times.
Verdict: SiteGround takes the lead in customer support, offering faster and more personalized assistance.

7. User Experience and Interface

SiteGround: Their Site Tools interface is well-organized and user-friendly, even for beginners. Managing your website, domains, and email is intuitive.
Hostinger: The Panel interface is visually appealing and modern, with easy navigation. Their website builder is a standout feature for those creating their first site.
Verdict: Both hosts offer excellent user experiences, catering to users of varying technical levels.
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8. Strengths and Weaknesses

SiteGround:

• Strengths: Exceptional performance, managed WordPress hosting, top-tier support, comprehensive security.
• Weaknesses: Slightly higher prices, limited storage on lower-tier plans.

Hostinger:

• Strengths: Budget-friendly, user-friendly interface, impressive performance, free domain.
• Weaknesses: Limited advanced features on lower-tier plans, customer support can be slower.

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9. Best For Which Users?

SiteGround:

• Experienced WordPress Users: Those who need advanced WordPress features and prioritize performance and support.
• Growing Businesses: Websites with increasing traffic that require scalability and reliable hosting.

Hostinger:

• Beginners: New website owners looking for an affordable and easy-to-use hosting solution.
• Personal Websites and Blogs: Smaller websites that don't require extensive resources.

10. Conclusion

SiteGround and Hostinger are both excellent web hosting providers with their own strengths. SiteGround shines with its performance, managed WordPress expertise, and exceptional support, making it ideal for demanding websites and experienced users.
Hostinger, on the other hand, is a fantastic choice for budget-minded individuals and beginners who value affordability and ease of use.
Ultimately, the best host for you depends on your specific needs, budget, and technical expertise. Consider the factors discussed in this comparison to make an informed decision and ensure your website thrives on a reliable and efficient hosting platform.
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The world of web hosting can be overwhelming, with a multitude of providers vying for your attention. Among the top contenders are Hostinger and HostGator, both renowned for their reliable services and affordable plans. However, choosing the right host for your website is crucial for its success. In this comprehensive comparison, we'll delve into the intricacies of Hostinger and HostGator, analyzing their features, performance, pricing, and customer support to help you make an informed decision.
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Introduction
Hostinger and HostGator are two of the most popular web hosting providers in the market, each with its unique strengths and weaknesses. While both offer a variety of hosting plans to cater to different needs, they differ in terms of performance, pricing, features, and customer support. Understanding these differences is key to choosing the right host for your website.
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Performance
Performance is a critical factor to consider when choosing a web host, as it directly impacts your website's speed, reliability, and user experience. In this regard, Hostinger has a slight edge over HostGator.
Hostinger boasts impressive uptime and loading speeds, thanks to its LiteSpeed web server and optimized infrastructure. Multiple tests have shown that Hostinger's servers consistently deliver faster loading times compared to HostGator. Moreover, Hostinger offers a free Content Delivery Network (CDN) with all its plans, further enhancing website speed by distributing content across multiple servers worldwide.
While HostGator also provides reliable uptime, its loading speeds are not as impressive as Hostinger's. However, HostGator does offer a variety of performance-enhancing features, such as caching and compression, to optimize website speed.
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Features
Both Hostinger and HostGator offer a wide range of features to cater to different website needs. However, there are some notable differences in their offerings.
Hostinger provides a user-friendly control panel called hPanel, which is intuitive and easy to navigate. It also includes a free website builder with drag-and-drop functionality, making it easy for beginners to create a website without any coding knowledge. Additionally, Hostinger offers a variety of one-click install scripts for popular applications like WordPress, Joomla, and Drupal.
HostGator, on the other hand, uses the industry-standard cPanel control panel, which is familiar to most webmasters. It also includes a website builder, but it's not as intuitive as Hostinger's. However, HostGator does offer a wider range of one-click install scripts for various applications.
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Pricing
Pricing is another crucial factor to consider when choosing a web host. Hostinger is known for its affordable pricing, especially for its shared hosting plans. Its entry-level plan starts at a very low price, making it an attractive option for budget-conscious users.
HostGator's pricing is slightly higher than Hostinger's, but it does offer some discounts for longer-term commitments. Additionally, HostGator includes a free domain name with all its plans, whereas Hostinger only offers a free domain with its annual plans.
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Customer Support
Both Hostinger and HostGator provide 24/7 customer support via live chat and email. However, Hostinger's customer support is known to be more responsive and helpful. Multiple user reviews have praised Hostinger's support team for their promptness and knowledge.
HostGator's customer support is also decent, but it has received some criticism for its slow response times and lack of technical expertise. However, HostGator does offer a comprehensive knowledge base and community forums to help users troubleshoot issues.
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Additional Considerations
Apart from the factors mentioned above, there are a few additional considerations to keep in mind when choosing between Hostinger and HostGator.

• Scalability: If you anticipate your website growing in traffic and resources, it's important to choose a host that can accommodate your needs. Both Hostinger and HostGator offer various hosting plans, including VPS and dedicated servers, to scale your website as it grows.
• Security: Website security is paramount to protect your data and prevent cyber attacks. Both Hostinger and HostGator offer robust security measures, such as SSL certificates, firewalls, and malware scanning. However, Hostinger goes a step further by providing a free Cloudflare integration, which adds an extra layer of security to your website.
• Money-back guarantee: Both Hostinger and HostGator offer a 30-day money-back guarantee, allowing you to try their services risk-free.

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In-Depth Analysis
Let's take a closer look at some specific aspects of Hostinger and HostGator to understand their strengths and weaknesses in more detail.
Hostinger

• Pros:
  • Excellent performance with fast loading speeds and reliable uptime
  • Affordable pricing, especially for shared hosting plans
  • User-friendly hPanel control panel
  • Free website builder with drag-and-drop functionality
  • Responsive and helpful customer support
  • Free Cloudflare integration for enhanced security
• Cons:
  • Limited one-click install scripts compared to HostGator
  • Free domain only with annual plans

HostGator

• Pros:
  • Reliable uptime
  • Familiar cPanel control panel
  • Wide range of one-click install scripts
  • Free domain name with all plans
  • Comprehensive knowledge base and community forums
• Cons:
  • Slower loading speeds compared to Hostinger
  • Slightly higher pricing than Hostinger
  • Some criticism for slow customer support response times

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Who Should Choose Hostinger?
Hostinger is an excellent choice for beginners and budget-conscious users who prioritize performance and ease of use. Its affordable pricing, fast loading speeds, and user-friendly interface make it a great option for individuals and small businesses looking to establish their online presence.
Who Should Choose HostGator?
HostGator is a good option for users who are familiar with cPanel and need a wide range of one-click install scripts for various applications. It's also a good choice for users who value a free domain name with all plans.
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Conclusion
Both Hostinger and HostGator are reputable web hosting providers with a lot to offer. However, Hostinger edges out HostGator in terms of performance, pricing, and customer support. If you're looking for an affordable, fast, and reliable web host with a user-friendly interface, Hostinger is a great option. However, if you need a wide range of one-click install scripts and a free domain name, HostGator is worth considering.
Ultimately, the best web host for you will depend on your specific needs and budget. Carefully evaluate the factors discussed in this comparison to make an informed decision that aligns with your website goals.
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Some commentators are suggesting no real ban was in effect. I went back to the Sara Abrahamsson paper to confirm the following:
Schools where students are required to hand in their phones in the morning, and therefore cannot access them during breaks, are considered to have a strict policy against smartphones. Schools where students are allowed to access their phones during breaks but are required to have them on for instance silent [mode] during lectures are classified as having a lenient policy toward smartphones. For mental health, the effect between schools with a more lenient and strict policy is relatively similar, as shown in Figure 10.17. Four years post-ban, girls experience 3.48 and 2.3 fewer visits for specialist care related to psychological symptoms and diseases at schools with a lenient and strict policy respectively (p-values 0.036 and 0.068).18 For bullying, there is not much difference dependent on the type of policy implemented when it comes to bullying, neither for girls as documented in Figure 11, or boys as shown in Appendix Figure A21.
However, girls attending a middle school introducing a strict policy against smartphones, experience an increase by 0.12 standard deviations in GPA. This estimate is significant four years post-ban at the 5% level (p-value 0.032). Additionally, girls attending a middle school with a strict policy have significantly higher teacher-awarded test scores by 0.08 and 0.14 standard deviations, three and four years post-ban (p-values 0.075 and 0.011). These results, shown in Panel A and B in Figure 12, show that both GPA and average grades set by teachers for girls improve after strict smartphone bans in schools are implemented.
…However, there are no detectable differences in the likelihood of attending an academic high school track between schools with strict compared to more lenient policies
In other words, there were strict bans and they had only modest effects, including relative to the less strict bans. On p.34, Figure 2, you will see that 200 schools had strict bans, somewhat less than half the total (not every case is easy to classify). Note also that if smart phone bans could help with mental health problems in a big way, we still should see a change in mental health diagnoses, following the bans, yet we do not.
Here is my original post on the topic.
The post Did Norwegian schools actually ban cell phones? appeared first on Marginal REVOLUTION.

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The battle for web hosting supremacy is fierce, with two giants, Hostinger and GoDaddy, vying for the top spot. Both offer a wide array of services, from domain registration to various hosting plans, but they each have unique strengths and weaknesses. This in-depth comparison aims to help you make an informed decision about which provider best suits your website's specific needs.
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1. Pricing and Value

• Hostinger: Known for its budget-friendly options, Hostinger offers some of the lowest introductory prices in the market. However, these rates often increase significantly upon renewal.
• GoDaddy: GoDaddy's initial prices tend to be higher than Hostinger's, but their renewal rates are more stable. They frequently offer promotional discounts, making their plans more competitive.

The Verdict: Hostinger wins on initial affordability, but GoDaddy might offer better long-term value if you're looking for stable pricing.
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2. Features and Plans
Both providers offer a comprehensive range of hosting plans, including:

• Shared Hosting: Ideal for beginners and small websites.
• VPS Hosting: Offers more control and resources than shared hosting.
• Cloud Hosting: Provides scalability and reliability for growing websites.
• WordPress Hosting: Optimized for WordPress websites.

However, there are some key differences:

• Hostinger: Offers a wider variety of hosting plans, including Minecraft server hosting and cloud hosting. They also provide a free website builder with all plans.
• GoDaddy: Offers a broader range of additional services, such as email marketing, website security, and SEO tools.

The Verdict: Hostinger is the better choice if you need a specific type of hosting or want a free website builder. GoDaddy excels if you need a wide range of additional services.
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3. Performance and Speed

• Hostinger: Boasts impressive loading speeds due to LiteSpeed web servers and advanced caching mechanisms.
• GoDaddy: Offers good performance but may not be as fast as Hostinger in certain scenarios.

The Verdict: Hostinger wins hands down in the performance category. If website speed is crucial for your business, Hostinger is the clear winner.
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4. Ease of Use

• Hostinger: Features a clean and intuitive custom control panel called hPanel, making it easy for beginners to manage their websites.
• GoDaddy: Uses a modified version of the popular cPanel, which might be more familiar to experienced users but can be overwhelming for beginners.

The Verdict: Hostinger's hPanel is more user-friendly, especially for those new to web hosting.
5. Customer Support

• Hostinger: Offers 24/7 live chat support and a vast knowledge base with tutorials and guides.
• GoDaddy: Also provides 24/7 support through phone and chat, but their response times can be longer than Hostinger's.

The Verdict: Both providers offer decent customer support, but Hostinger tends to be more responsive and helpful.
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6. Security

• Hostinger: Includes free SSL certificates with all plans and offers optional security features like Cloudflare protection and daily backups.
• GoDaddy: Also provides free SSL certificates and offers additional security options, but some are paid add-ons.

The Verdict: Both providers offer solid basic security features, but Hostinger might be a slightly better choice if you want a wider range of free security options.
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7. Additional Features

• Hostinger: Offers a free domain name with most plans, a user-friendly website builder, and a staging environment for testing changes before going live.
• GoDaddy: Provides a wider range of additional services, including email marketing tools, an SEO wizard, and website security options.

The Verdict: The best choice depends on your specific needs. Hostinger's free domain and website builder are great for beginners, while GoDaddy's additional services might be more appealing to those who need a full suite of marketing and security tools.
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8. Scalability

• Hostinger: Offers easy upgrades to higher-tier plans, allowing you to scale your resources as your website grows. They also offer cloud hosting for maximum scalability.
• GoDaddy: Also allows for upgrades, but their cloud hosting options might not be as robust as Hostinger's.

The Verdict: Both providers offer decent scalability options, but Hostinger might have a slight edge due to their cloud hosting capabilities.
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Conclusion
Hostinger and GoDaddy are both excellent web hosting providers with their own strengths and weaknesses. The best choice for you ultimately depends on your specific needs and budget.
Choose Hostinger If:

• You want the most affordable option
• You prioritize website speed and performance
• You are a beginner and need a user-friendly interface
• You want a free domain name and website builder

Choose GoDaddy If:

• You want a wide range of additional services, such as email marketing and SEO tools
• You are familiar with cPanel and prefer a more traditional hosting environment
• You value brand recognition and a large community of users

No matter which provider you choose, both Hostinger and GoDaddy offer reliable and feature-rich web hosting solutions that can help you build and grow your online presence.
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TW: Alcoholism, drug addiction, violence, suicidal ideation, sex abuse
This is going to be a LLLLLOOONNNNGGGGG one. This story goes back quite a way, but yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the ending to this story and I'm feeling it, still got some guilt about everything that happened, wondering what I could have done differently and I just want to vent it out and hope to get some closure from it.
This story started in 2010.
Characters in this story (names are fake, duh!):

• Me, Guy, 32M at the time, 45 now.
• My BFF Stephanie, 33F at the time.
• Stephen, 40M at the time, Stephanie's boyfriend.
• Maryse, 27F at the time.

Background and intro
I had known Stephanie for many years and we had the kind of friendship that made her BFs and my GFs uncomfortable to put it lightly. We had never crossed that boundary and I wouldn't consider us in the friendzone, we were just friend, but the kind of friend where she would sit on my lap with her arms around my neck or her head on my shoulder.
At the start of 2010, Stephanie met her then boyfriend, Stephen. He tolerated me and my friendship with Stephanie because I also had a gf back then. She liked Stephanie, wasn't at all jealous of my friendship with her, so he didn't deem me too suspicious. Then my gf and I broke up for reasons unimportant and all hell broke loose for Stephen. He became convinced that I would try and steal Stephanie from him. He insisted that Stephanie introduce me to her female friends or female friends of his. Thus began what I called the year of the 50 blind dates. It was probably closer to 20, but still I like saying the year of 50 blind dates. Most of them were unremarkable and never went beyond the first date. There are some fun stories in there if anyone wants to hear them eventually!
In July of that year, I had to switch gears because I had to focus up and study for a professional exam for a certification important to my career. This exam required close to 600-800 hours of study over a 3-4 month period. So I hunkered down, told Stephanie to stop the blind dates for now because I had to focus on that. She respected my wishes and, other a text here or there, we went low contact for the last two months before the exam.
Except for one fateful night in September. Her birthday was in September and she always threw these big bashes at her house. She would throw a big pool party that started around noon and would go on to the wee hours of the morning. I knew she would harass me to go to her party, so I made some quick math and figured I would lose more energy and time trying to dodge her calls, texts and most likely visits at my place than by just going to the party itself. So when she called me to ask, I just said: "Okay I'll go to your damn party, now git." I texted her I would get there in the evening probably around 8. She texted back "Great, can't wait. Now study, bitch!"
So I ultimately get there around 8PM. Basically everybody is already drunk off their gourd. Stephanie sees me, squeals in excitement and runs to me in her bikini and just jumps in the air and slams into me, wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist and gives me a big hug. I hug her back and just keep walking back to the pool where she had started, carrying her with me. I just duck my head around hers and say hi to Stephen, who just glares at me.
She drops back down and I give her her gift. We chat for a few seconds and says "There's beer in the fridge and food in the dining room." I told her I'd be right back.
I go inside and grab a beer from the fridge. I head to the dining room and the table is against the wall with a buffet of sandwiches, tomato pizza, salads, etc. I grab a plate and start putting food on it. I was focused on the task because I was starving. I barely noticed, sitting at the end of the table one of the most stunning woman I have ever seen. I just see her in my peripheral vision and I do a quick double take, quick glance at her and back to the food. I do that a second time. And finally a third time. At that point she is just straight up staring at me and I can't help but chuckle and whisper under my breath "Subtle Guy, sub-tle".
Thankfully she starts laughing too, saving me some embarassment. I look at her and greet her. She says "Hi, I'm Maryse and I'm guessing you're Guy?" I just nod and we start talking. At that point, I just thought I have no shot with her, she's so far out of my league that I'm just gonna talk to her until she sees one of the "models" hanging out by the pool and ditches me for him.
So I'm not feeling like I'm playing for anything, so I'm just myself and not nervous, just talking to her as I would any friend. We chat and she laughs at all my jokes, she gets all my cultural references. She never gets up or ditches me. The plate of food I had made and the beer I had gotten are sitting on the table next to me untouched, I was too busy with the convo to think about food or beer anymore.
After what felt like only 20-30 minutes, Stephanie comes in and tells me, fake grumpy: "So that's where you disappeared to. I invite my best friend to a party and he spends the whole night talking to someone else." I laugh and go: "What do you mean the whole night? I haven't been here that long." She says "Dude, it's 2AM. You've been here for 6 hours..." My jaw dropped and I just said: "Wow, time flies when you're having fun." Maryse chimes in, with a big smile: "It sure does!" That made me happy as you can imagine.
Now I was a little stuck because where Stephanie lived, there's no night service for the bus and the subway had been closed for an hour or so. I figured I would cab it. So I turn to Maryse and tell her: "It was absolutely lovely to meet you and I enjoyed our conversation very much." She says that she did too. I continued with "At the moment, my schedule is incredibly hectic. I'm basically working full-time, studying full-time and sleeping part-time. So I don't have a lot of free time, but if she was interested, whatever little free time I had, I would love to call her or text her to keep on getting to know her."
I see Stephanie in the backgroudnd, looking like a proud mama at how smooth that came out, knowing I was always anything but smooth with women, as proven by the string of blind dates! Maryse has a big smile and we exchange numbers. I go to Stephanie to wish her a happy birthday again. While I'm talking to her, my phone buzzes with a text from Maryse: "Just checking!"
I asked Stephanie "What's the best cab company to call in this area?" Maryse chimes in: "Where do you live?" I tell her where I lived and she goes "It's on the way to where I live, I can give you a ride if you want." Stephanie raised an eyebrow in surprise. I learned later, she did it because it absolutely was not on the way to her place, like, at all. I say that I would love that as it would give us a chance to keep talking.
We get in her car, driving to my place. We talk, she asks me what I'm studying as I hadn't mentioned it earlier. I tell her all about the boring maths I had to study. Much too quickly, we get to my place. She parks in front of my building and we keep talking. At some point, I tell her: "Normally, this is where I would try to "trick" you into coming up to my place..." She interrupts me: "You wouldn't need to trick me. I'm willing and able!"
I tell her that "As tempting as that sounds, I know who I am and I know that if you come up and things proceed to where they're going, I'm not going to be able to study for the rest of the month. I have a kind of obsessive mind and when I find someone or something I like, I can push everything else to the side in favor of that. So to make sure I can still focus on my studying, I have to go up by myself."
She looks at me, a little disappointed but then says, half-jokingly: "We don't have to go up, there's a backseat right there!" We laugh and I give her a kiss and wish her a good night. I managed to stay strong and go back to my condo. Damn it, why did I have to stay strong!!!
My exam was at the beginning of november. During the month of october, we texted a bunch of times and talked on the phone. We went for coffee a couple of times and dinner once. She respected my boundaries and never pushed for more, which I appreciated but also hated at the same time, if that makes sense. The exam came and it was a monster of a Friday. I slept for basically 18 hours after the exam as the adrenalin dropped and my system crashed.
I texted her when I woke up at around 1PM. She was working at the clothing store Stephanie owned. She said "I'm off at 5PM, wanna meet me." I said: "Duh! Why do you think I'm texting? ;)" So I met her at the store downtown. I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, go for dinner, or what. She proposed going to her place and getting some take out. Stephanie who was closing the store at that moment, came up to us and said: "Hey, so what are we doing?" I said: "WE, that is Maryse and I, are going to her place and getting some takeout. Bye!" I'm sure you'll understand when I tell you that no food was ever ordered that night!
Thus followed a whirlwind month of November where any free time we had was spent together, and I wasn't going to complain!
The troubles
By the start of december, things were still going great with us. One saturday night, we were having dinner at a restaurant and I mention that this coming Friday is my office Christmas party, that it's employees only, so we wouln't see each other that night. She tells me: "Oh sure, that's fine! It'll give me a chance to go see some girlfriends I've been neglecting lately." I said "Great! BTW I also got us a reservation at [this great restaurant she had mentioned a few times] for next Saturday, so we could go there and I'll tell you all about my party and you can tell me all about her night with the girls!"
That was settled, I thought. I was wrong. On Thursday, we had spent the evening together at her place and I was about to leave to go back to my place. She tells me: "So are you coming to meet me at the store tomorrow or do I go to your place?" I reminded her: "Neither, tomorrow is my office Christmas party and we won't see each other tomorrow." She said: "Oh right, I forgot." I asked her if she had made plans with her friends like she had mentioned last saturday. She said that they were all busy tomorrow and weren't available.
She suggested "If your party is boring, maybe you could come meet me." I retorted that it wasn't going to be, knowing who was going to be there.
"Yeah but what if?"
"But it won't"
"But what IFFFFFF?" she kept insisting and I kept saying no. After what felt like 30 minutes of that (probably only 2-3 minutes in reality), I had enough and just said to end the argument: "Okay, if it's boring, I'll come. but it won't be." She said: "Cool" with a big smile on her face. I came to learn that that smile meant "Challenge accepted".
The following night, my colleague and I were pregaming in a conference room before leaving for the party proper and my phone buzzes. Maryse was wishing me a good party. I replied. She texted me again. I replied. She texted again, but I was in a conversation with a colleague so I didn't reply or even look at the phone. My phone buzzes again. Still talking, and didn't want to be rude to my colleague. Another buzz. I just kept talking. Phone buzzes differently, she was now calling because I hadn't answered her texts.
"Why aren't you replying to my texts?"
"Hey, sorry, was talking to my colleague Patrick."
"What? you don't want to talk to me?"
"I am talking to you now."
"Why didn't you reply to my texts?"
"Because it would have been rude to my colleague to pull my phone out while talking to him."
"But you're talking to me now."
"Because I thought something was wrong, maybe it was an emergency."
"I wanted to talk to you, that's all."
"Well, gotta go back to the party. Talk to you later."
She kept texting and if I didn't reply right away, she would call after two or three missed texts. After about 2 hours of this, I stopped answering the texts. When she called back, I asked her: "Aren't you supposed to be working?" which started another round of guilt-tripping of "why are you asking me this? you don't want to talk to me?" At that point I had had enough and wanted to enjoy my party. I remembered that the Blackberry (no shaming old tech!) I had had an annoying feature, but I was hoping to put it to good use at that moment.
Whenever the battery would get really low, like less than 1%, it would let out an ear-piercing BEEP for about 3 seconds, reminiding you to charge it and giving you a heart attack all at the same time. It would do that even when you were in silent mode. It had happened a few days earlier when I was with Maryse. I figured, if I press a button on the Blackberry, it would make a beep too that could be heard through the phone. So while I was talking to Maryse, I pressed my thumb on the space bar for a good 3 seconds and sputtered; "what... the .... what?" trying to put on a somewhat believable performance.
She asked what that noise was and I tell her that it was my blackberry letting me know I was low battery and it might shut off any second. I told her "Listen I'm gonna wish you a good night, I'm having a good time at my party so I'll see you tomorrow at 5PM to go spend our evening together. I hope you have a good....." and hung up mid-sentence. I promptly shut my phone off and went back to the party. I concede that I may be a bit of an AH for that move.
The party was great, I got drunk much quicker than I expected owing to the fact that I hadn't had a drink in over two months because Maryse didn't drink so I didn't either when we were together, and we were always together. At 1AM, I went home and passed out on my bed.
This is another place where I may have been an AH. I didn't turn my cell phone back on and I unplugged my home line too, because I wanted to sleep the deep sleep of the drunkard. I woke up at around 1:30 PM, not knowing it was already too late. In my mind, I was meeting Maryse at 5PM to go out on the town that night. Maryse had other ideas as you'll see.
So like I said, I woke up at 1:30PM and was sticky with alcohol sweat, so I went straight for the shower to get clean again. While in the shower, my stomach grumbled with hunger and I started daydreaming of bacon and eggs. That pushed me out of the shower right quick. I dried myself off quickly, tied the towel around my waist and went to the fridge. No bacon.... booo. Looked at the egg compartment... no eggs... booo again. Okay then, how about a cream cheese bagel. No cream cheese, damn it. Look in the pantry, no bagels.... god. I was starting to get angry. Okay, cereals then. I pick up the cereal box, that mofo was empty and I get mad: "who's the idiot who puts the empty box back in the pantry?" I remembered I live alone.
I close the fridge dejected and see the grocery list stuck on the fridge, taunting me with everything I wanted to eat for breakfast written on it. But I felt like if I went to the grocery store hungry as I Was, I'm just gonna pay 600$ and not get one single healthy thing to eat. I then remembered there's a restaurant next to the grocery store that serves breakfast until 3PM. I get excited! I get dressed quickly, grab my wallet and keys, put my boots on, my coat on, wrap my scarf, my tuque and my gloves and go to the restaurant. If you notice, I didn't mention my phone in there.
I get to the restaurant and confirm that they still have breakfast and get even more excited when she confirms it. I order the "heart attack", at least that's how I nicknamed it: 3 eggs, 3 servings of bacon, 2 sausages, and, I guess to give one peace of mind, fruit (or to be precise, one single solitary slice of orange). Now that the food is ordered and coming I figured I would check if I have any messages. I pat the pocket where my phone always is. No phone. uh-oh. I start clutching evert pocket, no luck.
I wonder if I should go back home after the meal before going to the grocery store and decide against it, it would be too long a detour. So I scarf my breakfast down, rush through the grocery store. I get home and set my bags down in front of the fridge. I go pick up my blackberry. I turn it back on. The little tape icon tells me there are messages on my voicemail, at that time there were no red dots with a number in it to tell you how many.
I connect to the voicemail while starting to put the groceries away. The little automated voice tells me "You have 25 new messages." I pull the phone away from my ear, look at it in disbelief as if saying: "are you f'ing kidding me?" So I press 1 to start playing the messages.
Remember: Maryse knew I was at a party with a dead phone, no chargers and I probably wouldn't get home until 1AM. From 6:30PM, when my phone died, to 11:34 PM, when she went to sleep she left me 9 messages. BTW I know she went to sleep at 11:34PM because she left me a message saying "it's 11:34PM and I'm going to bed. Thinking of you." The 9 messages were in the same vein. These are the salient details, but the messages were all much longer.
She woke up at 7:15 the following day, I'll let you guess how I know that tidbit of information! She left me 5 more messages like those from the day before: 7:15 woke up. 7:35 going to take a shower. 7:55 out of the shower. 8:25 getting ready to leave for work 8:50 walking out of the subway to go to the store.
She leaves me another message at 9 that was different. She sounded very excited as if she had had the best idea in the world: "Hey it's 9AM, I'm about to start my shift. I know we're only supposed to meet after my shift, but what if you came and met me for lunch so you could tell me all about your party." I just did my best Scooby-Doo "Ruh-Roh" and chuckled that I blew that, not thinking the calamity that was awaiting me.
Another couple of messages to talk logistics: "I could take my lunch at 12 or 12:30, let me know which you prefer." "I'm taking my lunch at 12:30"
A slightly worried message: "It's 11:15 and you stil have not said if you were coming or not, are you okay?"
The first bomb goes off and I knew I was in trouble then: "Where are you? We're supposed to meet for lunch and you still haven't given me any sign of life, you're not answering your home phone either, what happened?" Reminder: we were not supposed to meet for lunch, she suggested doing so a couple of hours earlier and I never agreed to anything. I guess she told her colleagues I would meet her for lunch and it was now fact and could perhaps make her look bad in front of her colleagues.
The second bomb drops: "It's almost noon now, WHERE ARE YOU? Stephanie says you're probably sleeping off your drunk, but I don't believe her. I'm sure you got yourself a slut and cheated on me. Didn't you? didn't you, you asshole." Stephanie knows me very well, but that wasn't enough for Maryse it seems.
Ensued four more messages from 12:30 to 1:15, where she starts sounding more and more drunk and accusatory, spewing more attacks like in the message above. At that point I already knew it was over, there was no coming back from that. I can understand having trust issues, but that was nuclear. I don't tolerate jealousy because of horrible experiences with a couple of jealous toxic exes.
A final message comes in, and it's a different voice, that of my best friend being more than a little angry: "Hey Guy, listen, Maryse tells me you had a Christmas party yesterday, so I'm guessing you're sleeping off your drunk, still. But call me when you get this. I put Maryse, who's f'ing drunk, in the backstore so she can dry off and "do inventory". She can't be on the sales floor obviously and I just don't feel safe sending her home in the state she's in. Call me to tell me how you want to handle this."
At that point I had finished putting away my groceries and had put my boots and my coat on and was making my way to the subway to go to the store. I call Stephanie and tell her I got the messages and I was coming. She was right, I was sleeping off my drunk and had just woke up (didn't feel the need to mention the breakfast and grocery store). I ask her if she knows what I'm gonna do when I get there. She says that she knows and understands. She knows my bad history.
When I get out of the subway, I call her again before getting to the store. I ask her how she wants me to do this. It's her store and I don't want to create drama in front of her customers. Does she want me to wait outside and she tells Maryse to meet me in the street or do I go in the store and she takes me to the backstore and I do it there? She says to come to the store.
I walk in the store and every saleswomen on the floor looks at me and gives me the biggest case of the stink-eye. They only have Maryse's side of the story, so they think I did all these horrible things. I see Stephanie in the middle of the store and I walk towards her. She shakes her head and points me towards the cash register. I look over there and see Julia, a salesperson that I've known for a couple of years and really like, who also happens to be the biggest gossip in the store. I understand what Stephanie is trying to do. She's gonna make me tell her my story in front of Julia so Julia can spread the "good news" to the other employees and rehabilitate my name possibly.
So I get to the register and say Hi to Julia. She barely acknoledges me. Steph joins me. She asks me:
"How are you?"
"I was better an hour ago, before I listened to those voicemails. I had gone to our office party last night, had a great night, got drunk off my ass, got home at around 2 and woke up around 2."
Julia asks "Maryse told us you were supposed to meet her for lunch."
"No we weren't. I have a reservation for tonight at XYZ restaurant. I was supposed to take the day to do errands, stuff around the condo and meet her here at closing time. She suggested that it could be fun if I came at lunchtime to meet her, but that was never the plan."
Julia asks again "But why didn't you answer your phone?"
"It ran out of battery last night during the party and when I got home, I was so drunk that I forgot to plug it back in. I only plugged it when I woke up at 2. That's when the messages came in."
Julia asks "She says she tried calling your home line and you didn't answer and your machine didn't kick in."
"Yeah, that one's my fault, I knew I wanted to sleep and telemarketers have a habit of calling me early saturday mornings so I didn't want to be awoken by a call for a rug cleaning service, so I unplugged it yesterday morning, knowing I would be drunk when I got home and forget and be angry if I was awakened by a telemarketer."
Julia gave me a hint of a smile, showing me she was starting to believe me. She asked me a few more questions and then she asked what I was gonna do. I told her that whatever I'll do, I would tell Maryse first.
I looked at Stephanie and said: "Can you open the back store so I can go see her?" So we went to the backstore. As we reached the door, it swung opened and out popped Maryse, looking absolutely terrifying, I actually jumped back when I saw her. Her usual perfect makeup was completely smeared, her mascara streaking down her cheeks from the crying. Her hair was disheveled. She was a mess. Apparently, she had had enough of waiting back there and was planning on leaving the store to go home and had put her coat and boots on.
When she saw me, she went into an unhinged rant about me being an asshole for cheating on her, me not being great in bed, me not treating her right, etc. I let her vent everything she had to say, I looked at Stephanie and apologized for creating such a scene in her store. I tell Maryse we should go outside and talk in private. She keeps on yelling, but when I grab her hand to lead her outside, she follows.
When we get outside, her anger had started to wane a little, or maybe just her energy. I was able to talk to her to explain everything, how I had gotten drunk, had overslept (alone) and woke up at 2PM. I reminded her that we were only supposed to meet at 5PM not for lunch. The anger was leaving her and a smile almost appeared on her face. Through all of this I was being very calm and patient with her, which she interpreted as me not being mad at her. I then said in a firmer tone: "However..." and let it hang for a second.
The beginning smile vanished. I continued: "When you accused me of cheating on you, that broke me. That triggered memories of toxic exes who would always accuse me of cheating, not trusting me when I would tell them where I was, snooping on me, stalking me. Because of those experiences, I have a zero tolerance policy for jealousy. I told her that if she was behaving like after only two months of dating, it didn't bode well for the future and I have to protect myself."
At that, the tears started again and she just turned and ran/waddled away. I told her to wait, but she didn't hear me. I turned towards the entrance of the store to see basically all the employees and customers milling around the door trying to catch the drama. I went back inside to talk to my best friend. The mood had definitely changed and no one was giving me the stink eye anymore, but I didn't really care. I was just sad that it had ended, but proud of myself for having stood up for myself.
So AITA for getting drunk and keeping my phone turned off?
There is a lot more to this story and if you want to learn what happened afterwards, then read on.
The immediate aftermath
So I went back inside the store and talked to Stephanie. I told her that I had a reserrvation for XX restaurant and if she wanted to go with Stephen, she could take it, I wasn't in the mood for a dinner. She said "I already have plans for tonight, but thanks for offering." Julia said she would go with me if I wanted, but I just said that I wasn't in the mood to go out. I just wanted to crash and eat a pizza and get into a food coma.
Stephanie said she didn't feel comfortable leaving me by myself and I should join them at her house. They were having friends over to play board games and it could at least distract me a little. I said why not. So brimming with enthusiasm, I went to play bored games. I left early as I wasn't in the mood. I was feeling a little better, but still a bit down. I thanked Stephanie for the invite and left. I got home and just passed out on the bed.
I woke up at around 7AM the next morning and I saw along the corners of the window the tell-tale signs of a snow-drift and got excited as it was the first snow of the season. I pushed the curtains aside and looked on to see a beautiful white carpet outside. It was early enough that very few cars had marred the whiteness. I was admiring it when I noticed that, against the red bricks of the building across the street, there was a pink blotch. As I focused, the blotch became human shaped and I cleared my eyes enough to realize that it was Maryse and she was raising her cell phone to her ear.
On cue, my phone rings. I pick it up. Still sounding drunk, she asks me if we can speak. I ask her to give me five minutes to get dressed and I'll meet her down there. She asks why she can't come up. I say that I'm not sure I want her in my apartment. She says that it's cold out. I say: "Good, then this will be quick."
I get dressed and meet her outside. I'm still bleary-eyed from having woken up 5 minutes ago, but I try to get my wits together. I tell her that we're going to walk to the subway. It 's a 10-minute walk normally, but with her drunkenness, it might take 15-20 minutes. That's how long she has to tell me what she wants to tell me.
She wants to apologize for accusing me of cheating on her. She says she knows I'm a great guy and... I may be the A-hole at this point too, but I start to drift off in my little bubble and start daydreaming about, if I go back to bed, would there still be some residual heat or would it be cold? I could take a hot shower and warm the bed that way. I could still hear her in the background making excuses, saying how she had been cheated on, but I wasn't really listening.
During the daydreaming I notice it got quite quiet. I look on my left and she's not there, I turn around she's a good 5-6 steps behind me looking angry and she says: "you're not listening" I just say: "when you're right, you're right." I tell her that I understand she's been hurt too in the past, and I hope she can work to resolve her issues, but I was done and I'm going back to bed. I was a bit harsh there, but I was tired and still down.
I walk past her and get maybe 10 paces past her when I hear a scream coming from her. I turn around and I see her messing with something inside her coat. She pulls out a chef's knife with like an 8-inch blade. That wakes me the fuck up. Byebye bleary eyes, hello wakefulness. better than a cup of coffee or a red bull I tell you!
So she's got the knife, she's screaming something that I can't quite understand. She gets quiet and then she charges at me with the knife. If I'm being honest I could have stayed where I was and she probably would have missed me anyways, but someone charges at me with a knife, I'm gonna nope out of there. I take a massive side step and once she gets to where I was and realizes that I'm no longer there, she turns her head towards me and says heyyyyy.
At that point, I have a moment of clarity and see what's gonna happen. She's drunk running one way and looking another, I know she's gonna trip. As I predicted, she stumbled over her feet and starts falling to the ground. I start praying to god and anybody who would listen: "Please don't let her cut herself. I don't want to have to explain this to the doctors, EMTs and nurses. I don't want her drunk ass deciding to take revenge on me by saying I did it."
Thankfully, she winds up in a sitting position on the sidewalk holding the knife up and it was clean. Thank god for small miracles. She starts crying and, other moment of clarity, I know she's gonna turn the knife on herself now. I jump towards her and I realize I was right, the knife starts moving towards her left wrist. I tackle her, grab her right wrist and twist it so she drops the knife. I pick the knife back up and put it in my pocket. She looks at me crying and says: "Why did you stop me?"
I pick her up and take her back to my building. In my building there was a couch in the lobby, so I take her there and I sit her down and plop myself next to her. I look at her and wonder out loud: "What am I gonna do with you? What can I do?"
She goes: "Just let me go, I'll be good." I tell her that's not going to happen. I realize I have three options and I give her the three options.
"So here's the choice I give you.
1- I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted murder back there and they send the police to arrest you. I don't want to do that because that could derail your life and not get you the help you need. Besides, they might not do anything anyway as it's your word against mine.
2= I pull out my phone, call 911 and tell them about the attempted suicide back there and that you need to be placed on a 72 hour hold. I could do that, but at the same time, again it's my word against yours, so maybe they don't believe me.
3- I'm gonna hazard a guess here. From what I've seen, you have alcohol problems. So I'm gonna guess you were in AA, had been sober for a while, I want to say 6 months, maybe less, when we met."
She confirms my guess.
"alright so option 3, I'm guessing you had a sponsor in AA." she nods "we call them up and tell them about your relapse and what happened this morning. Can they come get you and take care of you?"
She takes her phone out and picks a contact and calls. She hands me the phone. Someone answers and I explain the situation. They said they were coming right away. I give them my address, they get here 15 minutes later. Maryse had fallen asleep in the meantime, so I wake her up gently and help her to the car. Off she went.
I went back to my apartment and just crashed back to sleep.
A month later
Mid-january, my phone rings and I see Maryse's number on there. I send her to voice mail. Another call. Voicemail again. 5 minutes later, Private number calling. "Gee I wonder who that could be." Voicemail once more.
Afterwards, I didn't get any unidentified callers for a little over a week. One afternoon, I was at work and my phone rings and it's a number I do not recognize. I pick up.
"Hello."
"Hi, is this Guy?"
"Yes, to whom am I speaking?"
"This is Hannah, Maryse's sponsor. we spoke last month." I started fearing the worst.
"Yes, I remember. How can I help you?"
"Maryse tried to reach you last week and you rejected the calls. I think it could help Maryse if you listened to what she had to say. You're obviously not obligated to entertain her, but I think despite everything that happened, you still care about her or you would not have called me that morning."
"You are right, I do still care about Maryse. I'm just not sure how good it would be for her to meet me this soon after everything that happened. I understand wanting to work through the 9th step and making amends, but..." She interrupts me.
"So you know about the steps."
"Yes I have friends in the program. which is how I could guess that she was in the program too that morning."
"You know it's important."
"I know. I know. How about this: we meet in public at a cafe, you would have to be there. Not necessarily at the table with us, but nearby in case she needs help, in case meeting me causes her pain. Tell her I promise to be in a more receptive mood than I was that morning."
So we make an appointment for that saturday afternoon.
I get to the coffee shop. She's already there, and so is her sponsor. I realize happily that she's not wearing makeup. I say happily because that means she understands that this is not a date, but something serious. She's still stunningly beautiful, and I feel sad almost right away.
I grab a coffee and go join her at the table.
"Hey" I say,
"Hey. So this is gonna be uncomfortable, but thank you for agreeing to meet me and for coming, I appreciate it more than you know. I'm sure you heard I quit the store."
"I have, I'm sorry about that, I hope you didn't do it just because of me."
"No, I needed time to focus on myself for now."
She proceeds to tell me about how I wasn't far off with my guess. She had been sober 4 months when we met. Now she had 39 days. She tells me that in AA, if you are single, they recommend not dating anyone new for at least the first year of your sobriety as it can cause issues, similar to what happened with us. I was like her "drug" and as long as I was available, she could get her fix. But the moment I wasn't available all hell broke loose, and that is what led her back to drinking that day.
I told her I'm glad to see her back sober again this quickly and I hope she can get all the help she needs from it. I ask her if she wants to talk to me about her drinking.
She starts to share a story about how she started drinking at around 11 years old. When puberty hit her, she got into a deep depression because the sexual feelings she was starting to feel were triggering responses. As a child she had been abused by two of her uncles repeatedly and her parents never believed her. They accused her of trying to make herself interesting. That was until they caught one of those uncles red-handed.
They finally believed and took the necessary steps to protect their daughter. But they were poor and they couldn't afford therapy. So she never really got help for it. At 11, she started self medicating the depression with alcohol. When alcohol wasn't enough, she added drugs.
At that point, I was full on crying. She asked me if I wanted her to stop. I told her that she doesn't have to stop. That the tears are there because that was one more thing we had in common. I was also a survivor of sexual assault as a child. In my case, it wasn't a family member, it was only a stranger, so it only happened once. But I also self-medicated with alcohol at the onset of puberty, switching to drugs later on too. I was lucky to avoid the pitfalls of addiction, but I was still dealing with my demons, slowly making peace with them.
So there we were, sitting at a coffee shop, both crying and holding each other. I tell her that I think it's great she's getting help for her alcoholism and addicion, but was she doing anything to help with the underlying issue, the original trauma? She said no, she couldn't afford therapy. I tell her that I am a member of a survivors group and if she is interested, I could get her into a meeting and perhaps learn to heal that part of herself too.
She said that she could give it a try. I tell her I have to talk to the other members to know if I can bring someone new and I would let her know. If they said yes, we would go to her first meeting together, I would introduce her and then we would coordinate so that I never went to meetings where she was. I wanted to do that because I wanted her first few meetings to be about healing and I didn't want our own history to be intertwined or mixed in with that.
After that, we left both feeling content and, while not necesarily happy, at peace if you will. Later on, I contacted Stephanie who was one of the "pillars" of the support group (that's how we met) to ask her if it was okay for me to bring in a new member to the group. She said sure. She asked if it was anyone she knew. I told her she would have to meet her at the meeting if she decides to come.
We were having a meeting the following day. I called Maryse, told her the time and place, and she said she would be there. She came to the group meeting and was shocked to see Stephanie there but Stephanie kinda guessed that it was Maryse I was referring to.
I introduce her, we start sharing stories, talking about how we're feeling, etc. The meeting was good and Maryse liked the vibe. So for the first six months after that, I never saw Maryse and we planned which meeting we would be attending to ensure we didn't cross paths. She started feeling much better.
After maybe 2 and a half years, she finally felt ready and she started dating again. She met someone and she fell for him. They were together for about six months, she looked happy. Unfortunately after about six months, she caught him cheating on her. We tried supporting her, being good friends, cursing his name, doing all the things we could to make sure she didn't relapse. But on April 5th 2014, she ODed on heroin. She was hospitalized for 2 weeks after that.
Hannah took her in and she set up a room for Maryse. She was still in a fragile state, so a group of her friends and I started taking turns watching over Maryse, making sure there was always at least one person there with her to keep her company.
Despite our vigilance, on May 14th 2014, when Hannah was out running a quick errand, she was gone maybe 15 minutes tops, Maryse found a way to cut her wrists and she died. We found a note saying that "the OD was not an accident, and neither was that. Thanks for everything you did for me. I love you all, but I can't do this anymore."
It feels good to write that story (I'll just ignore the fat tears rolling down my face!). Thanks for reading this far and sorry for the long story, I just started writing and couldn't stop. I apologize if it was a bit of a bummer.

A/N: This incorporates a new build, with additional drawbacks and perks. I added a few gamer functions, as well as Lightning Quick, Brute Strength, DPS, and Rogue. More details are available over on Spacebattles (I also edited the original chapters there to reflect the changes).
Within minutes of entering the building and clocking in, I'm speedily typing away at my computer. There are stacks of papers on my desk that I am dedicatedly transcribing and digitizing.
This is my job, at least on most days. I have to take sheets of paper, invariably assorted forms related to insurance, and digitize them. In minutes I have already done this to a few different types of forms, from applications to the paperwork regarding claims and investigations into claims. "Speed Typist" mixed with "Lightning Quick" allows me to easily breeze through even dense forms and shift between the programs I need to use for each type of form. My job is hilariously, almost offensively, easy and I have already heard that we have a backlog so I have plenty of stuff to go through.
As I type I begin to think about each of my gamer perks as well as my system. Every few minutes I'll "mistype" thanks to "Buggy" and I'll spend a split second going back and fixing my mistake but between "The Devil's Own Luck" and "Lightning Quick" I'm able to fix my mistakes in a span of milliseconds. While I type I use "Observe" every instance I can, throwing in a tiny burst to the overall amount of experience I gain.
I use my enhanced mind's passive ability to follow two trains of thought while I work. As far as anyone can tell I'm diligently doing my job, but in actuality I'm exploring my system. Through passive, almost imperceptible gestures, mostly due to how fast they are, I am messing around with my rather system.
I whittle away the hours I need to spend at my job doing this. During this time I get a few of my skills to level up a few times, thanks to my decision to faithfully and diligently hone some of my other abilities like "Observe". Eventually lunch rolls around and Amy sneaks up behind me so she can surprise me and draw me away from my work. I feign surprise when she reaches me up and taps on my shoulder, and this is a perfect chance for me to try something out.
I make small talk and I silently activate my ability to pause reality while I'm in the middle of a sentence. The world freezes around me and I get to see Amy freeze as she reacts to what I'm saying. I have a reason for doing this, it's all for the sake of experimenting with some of my more intriguing abilities.
I focus on Amy even as I interact with my system's UI and I activate my "Gacha" mechanic. In my mind's eye I can see a logo representing a capsule machine beginning to stir to life and spin some of the capsules containing various awards, and I think about two enormously powerful perks: "The Face" and "Silver Tongue".
These two charisma enhancing perks are incredibly valuable tools in my repertoire and I have yet to meaningfully use them. One of them, "Silver Tongue" is not as directly powerful as "The Face" but it offers me broad knowledge of psychology, enhances my charismatic intuition, and makes me incredibly attractive. The real powerhouse of a perk is "The Face". By focusing on people and thinking of something I want them to believe or persuade them to do I have a supernatural intuitive sense that allows me to know the best sort of argument I could make to achieve that goal. To test this I study Amy while wondering if there's any way for me to convince her to go on a date with me, and after a split second of thinking I begin to feel vague intuitive senses of what I could say and do that would make her see me as a potential romantic interest, and I know that doing that before I ask her out would guarantee success if I wanted her to go on a date with me.
I immediately shift tactics and try to see if I could persuade her to give me 100,000 dollars, and I am unsurprised when I do not gain any vague sensations about how to make that happen one way or another. "Worth a shot..." I tell myself, and if I could smile more I would. Both of these perks are strong, but I'm clever enough to recognize that they become even stronger when I add "Beautiful Mind" and "Well of Wisdom" to the mix. WoW is especially handy in a combination like this, since it allows me to pick and choose the most efficient route to my desired outcome. This is especially true if I mix it with my ability to pause time, since I can give myself breathing room and contemplate how to most skillfully word my arguments and present my positions.
The gacha machine, or some abstraction of one, in my head slows to a stop. When it does a symbol of a capsule pops out and I am delighted to see that I've won a mundane iPad like device, a handy thing I can use as a computer for the time being! This is quite handy, and I can see this particular mechanic becoming something life-saving in a moment of desperation with the right amount of luck. The decide immediately fills a slot in my inventory, and I make a mental note to pull it out and use it later.
I unpause time and over the course of the next few minutes I use my skills, mixing all of the aforementioned perks and functions of my gamer skills as Amy and I walk over to the cafeteria. It is only when we're sitting through the door into the cafeteria that I sense an opportunity to ask my friend something.
"Hey, do you want to try a soup I made? I like it but having a second opinion is always good." I remark, causing her eyes to brightly light up. I grin at her and we walk over to the same table we ate at yesterday. I hand her the small container I'm holding my soup in, and she looks at it. I see her inhale and watch as her eyes light up. We're the first of the people to arrive at our table so no one else sees this. The container I gave her also has some silverware which she uses to go ahead and take a sip of the soup. I am delighted when time freezes and I get a notification alerting me to the acquisition of a new class: that of a chef. I immediately equip it even as I click through the drawback that appears before me. This also confirms that at least in some cases what is needed for me to get a class is for me to do stuff in front of others or at least involve them in some way.
As time resumes I see Amy's face light up.
"This is delicious!" She states with a delighted and sincere grin. I light up as she tells me this and I lightly cheer. This is excellent news, and my acquisition of this class is very fascinating. When it comes to classes I have a unique ability to get them to "Prestige" once they reach a high enough level, and given my current build's focus on support, buffing, and healing, if I can master a class like that of a chef I can do a lot.
"I'm so happy you like it!" I exclaim, sincerely. It really does taste quite good, but my whole body is enhanced and I'm superhumanly sensitive to things like taste so there's no guarantee that what I taste will be what others taste. That said, cooking is an absolutely incredible skill so if I can master it... Well, I'll always be able to prove my worth in almost any situation involving other people. Cooking... is a cracked skill to have in real life.
Our friends join us and as they do Amy turns to them and hands one of the women the container. Mary looks at us quizzically and Amy pantomimes for her friend to try the soup. Mary's look of confusion only becomes more apparent, but she still dutifully does as she's been asked, using her own silverware to do so. Her eyes light up as well and I feel how much experience I have as a cook slowly increase, which brings a smug smile to my face.
"This is delicious! What is this?!" Mary asks, and I grin and point at me. She smiles, impressed, before handing it back to me.
"I made this soup last night. I liked it but I didn't know if I was going crazy or not." I remark, and that gets a laugh out of Amy.
"Well, if working at an office ever gets boring you could make a living as a chef. This is amazing!" She states, and I can hear the honesty in her voice. It's kind of nice how much she likes the stuff, and a part of me wouldn't mind making more food for her if she's gonna be this enthusiastic about what I give her to eat.
It's hard not for me not to beam at my companions in passive delight the whole time we're eating lunch. The lunchroom conversation is kept simple and we simply inform each other about upcoming plans and light gossip, all of which I've heard before thanks to my enhanced, and growing, senses. Super Sensory is a strong enough perk by default but because of my ability to expand every facet of myself, coupled with the universality of "Master of All" I am just passively growing in my ability to hear stuff. Seeing as I am uncapped I could see myself someday hearing every conversation in this building, almost certainly by the end of the year given how all of my growth is linked together and builds on each other.
Lunch comes and goes in a blur and in minutes I'm back in front of the computer. In front of the computer I'm a blur, my fingers strengthened by Lightning Quick and Speed Typist. I whittle away the hours diligently doing my job, distracting myself and minorly doing other things by making use of my dual trains of thought, and even when I overcome instances of "Buggy" every few minutes I still find myself grateful that I took the drawbacks I did. This work would be... less than fun otherwise. By the time my workday comes to an end and I find myself outside of the office I've filled out hundreds of forms and diligently pushed various skills of mine to new levels. Colleagues of mine are walking around me and also leaving the office. I casually pause time. making use of my pause ability again, and I begin to think of what to do and where to go next.
"I suppose now's as good a time as any to go and see about volunteering..." I eventually realize as I think about the various things I can do from here. I momentarily wonder where I should go to try and do that before I remember what I told Amy and the others yesterday about how I volunteered at a clinic. WIth Healer volunteering at a hospital would be good for me, even if I couldn't do as much good as I'd like too since I am not a doctor. I unpause time and smile as I reach into my pocket, use "Inventory" and retrieve my cellphone.
"Where is the nearest hospital?" I ask aloud, into the phone. Some of the people walking past me glance at me curiously and I smile sheepishly as my phone begins to tell me where to go. I begin to walk in the direction the phone indicates, happy to have a chance to begin to do some good.
The walk isn't terribly long. It turns out that the hospital is in a part of downtown that I didn't explore last night, and I reach it less than five minutes after I start walking, just in the opposite direction of where I was going before. The hospital isn't huge, which surprises me since I don't seem to be living in some small town but in a decently sized city. I walk into the main entrance and step into a large lobby where a decent amount of foot traffic seems to happen, judging from the footprints I can faintly see on the floor beneath me. I walk up to a receptionist desk and the man behind it doesn't bother looking up and instead taps the clipboard in front of him. I glance at it and laugh when I see that it's a standard questionnaire for people who are visiting a hospital for normal, health-related reasons. My reaction surprises the man, and to be fair it's definitely odd for someone in a hospital to laugh at the sight of a hospital questionnaire.
I am laughing at the questionnaire because it's amusing to think about the possibility of getting sick, I'm a gamer, and while normally that'd conjure images of nerds and geeks in my case it means that my health is protected. I have two very powerful perks/features that wildly mitigate the dangers of sicknesses: "Tough As Nails" which guarantees that it'd take something supernatural or almost supernatural to stand a chance of even slowing me down, and "Gamer Body". Gamer Body is interesting in this context since it gamifies negative conditions and allows me to, quite literally, sleep them off. Even something like losing a limb can be cured with a night of sleep thanks to my abilities which feels radically overpowered given how little it cost. I have other perks which further lower my odds of being negatively affected by sicknesses, such as "The Devil's Own Luck". I also have my magic, which includes spells that completely heal and purify the body, and would work on me just as readily as they'd work on other people.
"I'm actually here to learn how to volunteer? I'm new in town and I used to volunteer at a clinic in my home town so I wanted to see if I could volunteer here." I explain, which causes the guy to look up at me. When he does his eyes widen, and I smile awkwardly. I consider feigning ignorance, or perhaps innocence, but I know what's going on. He wasn't expecting me to look the way I look.
My new looks are something it is taking me a beat to get used to. I was only okay looking before, but now my looks are hyper idealized, and I am a conceptually handsome version of the very best I could have ever looked, and it is a bit jarring. It's more jarring for me, knowing that before I was an at best average-looking guy before coming to this world and gaining this new form. I allow the man a beat, before I clear my throat and the sound snaps him out of the daze he was in.
"Oh! Sorry, man, I just assumed you were sick. Umm... Yeah, let me give you a packet." The man says, before reaching under the desk in front of him. I smile lightly as he rummages around the interior of the space that separates us.
My powerful senses allow me to easily notice all sorts of stuff occurring around me. I can hear the vital processes in the bodies of the people closest to me, such as heartbeats and the smells of sweat, as well as other bodily fluids. Many of the people in this area of the hospital are sick, and truthfully if I could I'd heal them all.
One of my reasons for coming here today is to give myself a means by which I can help and heal people. This is, mildly, altruistic but more than anything else I want to master the power to heal people before I leave this setting. In the right setting, being a healer is absolutely a pivotal method of interacting with my environment and also getting allies, as well as staying alive.
The man eventually hands me a packet, along with a pen to use to fill out parts of it, and I smile at him as I take it. It is filled with information, including an application to fill out, and I thank him as I walk over to the waiting area and begin to fill it out. The questions are simple and ask for basic information about me. I fill it out, though a part of me is curious how this'll mesh with my drawbacks...
When I finish filling out the form I hand it to the man and he gratefully takes it. He explains that I'll be contacted by someone named "Ms. Jimenez" soon, and that she oversees the volunteer program. I delightedly thank him for that information and begin to head out of the hospital.
In minutes I'm part of the way home. I am a decently fast walker, though that's something I'd like to work on more in the days to come. The sun is quickly descending, and the moon is already visible in the night sky. I'm approaching the row of apartment buildings that include the building I live in. As I draw nearer and nearer to it I spot a lone homeless man sleeping next to one of the apartments. He is clearly asleep and my observation ability only confirms this. It also reveals that the man is sick, and when I glance at his hit points I see further confirmation of that, as he's down a few of them. I am walking towards him, and as I move I see a nice opportunity for me to try something.
I silently activate "Rogue", one of my more odd perks, and I feel my presence become much more subdued and difficult to notice. I approach the man, and I shut my eyes. As I walk towards him I allow myself to be guided by Super Sensory and only stop when I'm right in front of the man. I kneel and I focus on my spellbook icon, allowing me to see my list of spells. My senses allow me to be confident that the figure is still asleep when I gently move my hands so that they are in front of him. Time freezes as I gain a "Stealth" skill, and while time is frozen I swap my class and become a mage so I can gain valuable experience before I deactivate "Tutorial Sprite". I allow time to resume and smile as I trigger a spell for the first time, one of healing.
For me to activate the spell requires nothing more than for me to have enough magic points and an applicable target. This particular spell is my more advanced spell and it can work on all sorts of living targets. It is named "Intermediate heal" and the fact that I have it is a sign of one of my purchases; Healer. I feel my points of arcane energy be converted into sacred, restorative energy and I open my eyes in time to watch my hands begin to glow as energy leaves me and enters him. I look at his hit points and watch them begin to slowly increase even as I hit him with another instance of "Observe". I do so just in time to feel time freeze as new notifications appear in my mind's eye. One of the first notifications is that I have just earned experience for the "Mage" class, which becomes experience for everything thanks to Master of All, while another indicates that I've just unlocked a quest to become a healer! I study these notifications with a proud grin as this marks an important milestone in my journey. The fact that the class I want is locked behind a quest is interesting and I make a mental note to study the quest as I head home.
I unfreeze time, notice that the man is already visibly healthier, and turn to make my way back to my new home. It takes only about six minutes before I find myself stepping into my apartment. Now I can play with my new toy from earlier!

Chance me for GT, UNC, UVA and Vandy CC transfer
Demographics:

• Black and Hispanic
  
• Male
  
• local Community college
  
• First generation, Special needs twin who is my main motivation, Idepenent since senior year of HS, Military ( National Guard)
  

Intended Major(s):
Between CompSci and Neuroscience
ACT/SAT/SAT II:
ACT - 28 (I'm cooked)
SAT - plan to take over the summer / fall
UW/W GPA and Rank:
HS - 3.6 UW 3.9 W
College - 3.9
Coursework:
All IGSCE classes through highschool 8 AICE classes and AICE diploma w merit, 2 APs ( Comp Sci and Calc no credit)
So far I’ve taken LA, Calc 1-3, CS 1-2 and Chem 1&2. Planning on taking diffeq and some more major based classes in the fall
Awards:
Deans list since I've been in
National Cybersecurity competition in HS placed in the top 5% and got a 2.5k scholarship
Extracurriculars:
Student Ambassador in HS, spoke at board of education for my state, local chamber of commerce, and a few other business conferences on bringing internships to local highschool.
Founded a coding club while I was in AIT for the Army with 15-30 weekly members
Contributed to part of the python course in AIT since I was already working as a developer
AI4ALL @ carnigie mellon during the summer ( Junior year HS)
Captain of varsity wrestling team in HS
Alot of passion projects using embedded chips ( arduinos) one being a device to predict seizures.
Interned with a T2 consulting firm in HS and got offered a full time spot which I have been working ever since. 40 hours a week as a SWE
Currently confounding a startup and doing research in wearable drone jammers
Essays/LORs/Other:
Really good essay on how I was introduced and have been interested in Comp Sci since middle school and how my brother constantly breaking my toys led me into engineering ( rebuilding and taking apart toys).
Also talk about how I am the youngest in my family and grew up in a broken household where my siblings were constantly in and out of jail
Have been featured in my city business journal but idk if that's worth including
I have a certification in Cybersecurity and one for Java SE 8, looking to get more over the summer as well as more community service hours
Schools: Denied from Gatech my freshman year but looking to transfer in the spring.

The context is that my partner is a really sweet, amazing, kind, generous, caring person. They are every kind thing you could say about somebody. They are incredibly book smart and have multiple degrees and are going for their law degree on top of all the degrees and certificates they already have. It’s exceptional. The problem is, and I am trying to say this in the nicest way possible. My partner is seriously bad with social skills and comes off as ‘dumb’, ‘cringeworthy’, ‘childish’ and oblivious at times. They will seriously just blurt out anything that comes to their mind and do anything in public. No matter how embarrassing it is. A small example of this is that one time we walked into a bar and my partner got super excited about the cool decor. There was chains hanging from the ceiling and and coffin shaped tv screen installed in the wall with some cool graphic in it. Upon seeing this as we walked in they got so excited they threw their arms into the air and yelled “AHHHHHHH!” And ran over to the chains and started swinging around on them, knocking into a nearby table that a couple was sitting at. After this, they threw their hands up in the air again and yelled “YIPPIEEEEE” as they ran over to the coffin and banged on it with their fist so hard that it actually flashed black and for a second I thought they had broken it. EVERYONE in the bar was looked at me crazy and the security guard had to pick up the mess with table and the drinks my partner just made. It was like a bad ass toddler has just gone loose in the bar and I imagine people just assumed they were way drunk but they were 100% sober. When they returned to me the first words out of my mouth “sit your ass down what the fuck is your problem?” And they immediately bursted out in tears. Because another problem they have is that they are INCREDIBLY sensitive to criticism. They cannot handle one ounce of even constructive criticism, even if it’s said in the most way gentle possible way they will start to cry.
Honestly, I’m not use to dating people my age. I moved out my house and have been on my own living as an adult since I was 16. Typically you will see me with someone ranging from 24-27. My partner is the first person my age I have been with. But, I understand that becoming a lawful adult at 16 is not a universal experience so that’s why they are a bit immature but they are a good person with a good heart which is not easy to come across nowadays so I am willing to wait and be patient with then until they mature a bit more.
My biggest problem with them though is talking to strangers. My mom taught me at a young age about stranger danger and have admittedly had a pretty traumatic life so I am very cautious about who I trust. It is as if my partner is a toddler who has never once been told not to speak to a stranger. They will tell ANYBODY ANYTHING. No shame or reservations or even the idea that the person might be uncomfortable. They will tell the waiter about the wild sex we just had in DETAIL. They will trap the cashier into a 30 minute conversation when the line is piling up and the poor cashier doesn’t want to know every single detail about whatever. And, it’s not even typically a conversation because it’s just my girlfriend yapping without giving the other person time to say anything. They will treat someone they just met less than 5 minutes like someone they’ve known for years and get into people’s personal space. An example of this would be that one time they stopped a girl in the street to compliment them but then it turned into the usual 30 minute yap sesh. My partner got very excited about whatever they were yapping about and for some reason they decided to suddenly press their forehead to this strangers forehead to express their point. I could see the poor girl get visibly frightened so I yanked my partner back out of instinct to protect not only the girl but my partner to whatever reaction the girl might have. Being completely oblivious to the fact that my partner might’ve just got their shit rocked for triggering this stranger they spun around and said something like “OMG BABE you are SO JEALOUS AND CONTROLLING HAHA SHE IS NOT GOING TO STEAL ME” I wanted to shout “dude, nobody WANTS TO STEAL you. You are EMBARRASSING.” But I didn’t want to embarrass my partner so I threw my hands up and walked away silently.
I’ve tried to talk to them about this. I told them a story my mother use to tell me about a very friendly pretty baby that would wave at everyone until she waved at the wrong stranger and got kidnapped. I explained to them that you can’t just assume everyone has good intentions and you definitely can’t predict what will upset someone so it’s best to keep out of strangers personal space and to never share unnecessary information. They see this as if I am trying to steal their ‘light’ or that I am jealous.
This behavior has not only put us in danger in the past but it is now affecting our living situation. Because the one year mark we decided we wanted to move in together. We found the most gorgeous beautiful lake house that was actually an airbnb but the lady liked us so much she was willing to let us stay long and remove the place from airbnb. It was a godsend. The problem is that on the same land there is 4 other properties just a few feet away from us that the landlord rents as airbnbs so we see all kinds of shady or weird people everyday.
I guess, one day when I wasn’t around my gf told a guest about our living arrangement in detail and the guest tried to ask the landlord for the same thing and when the landlord denied it the guest became aggressive and started bringing my gf’s name the details that they were told into the conversation. The landlord reached out to us and showed us the conversation and the guest was threatening us and her with violence. She asked that we keep the fact that we even live on the property to ourselves. It was a very scary situation and I really thought that my partner learned their lesson about strangers.
But, they didn’t. I’m traveling out of town for work and I guess there was a break in on one of the of the properties. The landlord was reviewing the security cameras when they caught my partner telling another guest about the details of our lease again. They wanted to call my partner and speak to them on the phone to express how serious it is that they do not share details about our lease but I guess when confronted about it, my partner lied and said they didn’t say anything. I guess partner didn’t realize they had been caught in 4K.
The landlord was really upset not only that partner lied but went against her wishes of keeping the agreement to themselves once I calmed the landlord down I phoned my partner but by the time I got ok the phone with my partner I was honestly incredibly irritated. I didn’t raise my voice but I was firm and harsh and told them that the oversharing behavior and it has got to stop. I said “really, how hard is it just to keep your mouth shut when our safety is at risk?” I told them they need to look at going to therapy for this behavior.
They became so agitated they started screaming and crying at me “I AM NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU!!” (What? No one even said that!) & “I DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT THIS STUPID HOUSE ILL JUST LEAVE!” (Ez for you to say you haven’t subleased your apartment and moved all your belongings into here yet)
I let them know that we both should take a breather from the convo and now I’m sitting here with my head in my hands, wondering what to do. I know that this is a long read and many people might not make it this far, but if you’ve made it this far, I could really use some advice. I don’t want to talk to my friends and family, because I don’t want them to form a bad opinion about my partner. I feel like I’m dating a child and then I have to correct them like a parent but I don’t want to break up because they are just so good to me outside of this. Please anyone help.

The context is that my partner is a really sweet, amazing, kind, generous, caring person. They are every kind thing you could say about somebody. They are incredibly book smart and have multiple degrees and are going for their law degree on top of all the degrees and certificates they already have. It’s exceptional. The problem is, and I am trying to say this in the nicest way possible. My partner is seriously bad with social skills and comes off as ‘dumb’, ‘cringeworthy’, ‘childish’ and oblivious at times. They will seriously just blurt out anything that comes to their mind and do anything in public. No matter how embarrassing it is. A small example of this is that one time we walked into a bar and my partner got super excited about the cool decor. There was chains hanging from the ceiling and and coffin shaped tv screen installed in the wall with some cool graphic in it. Upon seeing this as we walked in they got so excited they threw their arms into the air and yelled “AHHHHHHH!” And ran over to the chains and started swinging around on them, knocking into a nearby table that a couple was sitting at. After this, they threw their hands up in the air again and yelled “YIPPIEEEEE” as they ran over to the coffin and banged on it with their fist so hard that it actually flashed black and for a second I thought they had broken it. EVERYONE in the bar was looked at me crazy and the security guard had to pick up the mess with table and the drinks my partner just made. It was like a bad ass toddler has just gone loose in the bar and I imagine people just assumed they were way drunk but they were 100% sober. When they returned to me the first words out of my mouth “sit your ass down what the fuck is your problem?” And they immediately bursted out in tears. Because another problem they have is that they are INCREDIBLY sensitive to criticism. They cannot handle one ounce of even constructive criticism, even if it’s said in the most way gentle possible way they will start to cry.
Honestly, I’m not use to dating people my age. I moved out my house and have been on my own living as an adult since I was 16. Typically you will see me with someone ranging from 24-27. My partner is the first person my age I have been with. But, I understand that becoming a lawful adult at 16 is not a universal experience so that’s why they are a bit immature but they are a good person with a good heart which is not easy to come across nowadays so I am willing to wait and be patient with then until they mature a bit more.
My biggest problem with them though is talking to strangers. My mom taught me at a young age about stranger danger and have admittedly had a pretty traumatic life so I am very cautious about who I trust. It is as if my partner is a toddler who has never once been told not to speak to a stranger. They will tell ANYBODY ANYTHING. No shame or reservations or even the idea that the person might be uncomfortable. They will tell the waiter about the wild sex we just had in DETAIL. They will trap the cashier into a 30 minute conversation when the line is piling up and the poor cashier doesn’t want to know every single detail about whatever. And, it’s not even typically a conversation because it’s just my girlfriend yapping without giving the other person time to say anything. They will treat someone they just met less than 5 minutes like someone they’ve known for years and get into people’s personal space. An example of this would be that one time they stopped a girl in the street to compliment them but then it turned into the usual 30 minute yap sesh. My partner got very excited about whatever they were yapping about and for some reason they decided to suddenly press their forehead to this strangers forehead to express their point. I could see the poor girl get visibly frightened so I yanked my partner back out of instinct to protect not only the girl but my partner to whatever reaction the girl might have. Being completely oblivious to the fact that my partner might’ve just got their shit rocked for triggering this stranger they spun around and said something like “OMG BABE you are SO JEALOUS AND CONTROLLING HAHA SHE IS NOT GOING TO STEAL ME” I wanted to shout “dude, nobody WANTS TO STEAL you. You are EMBARRASSING.” But I didn’t want to embarrass my partner so I threw my hands up and walked away silently.
I’ve tried to talk to them about this. I told them a story my mother use to tell me about a very friendly pretty baby that would wave at everyone until she waved at the wrong stranger and got kidnapped. I explained to them that you can’t just assume everyone has good intentions and you definitely can’t predict what will upset someone so it’s best to keep out of strangers personal space and to never share unnecessary information. They see this as if I am trying to steal their ‘light’ or that I am jealous.
This behavior has not only put us in danger in the past but it is now affecting our living situation. Because the one year mark we decided we wanted to move in together. We found the most gorgeous beautiful lake house that was actually an airbnb but the lady liked us so much she was willing to let us stay long and remove the place from airbnb. It was a godsend. The problem is that on the same land there is 4 other properties just a few feet away from us that the landlord rents as airbnbs so we see all kinds of shady or weird people everyday.
I guess, one day when I wasn’t around my gf told a guest about our living arrangement in detail and the guest tried to ask the landlord for the same thing and when the landlord denied it the guest became aggressive and started bringing my gf’s name the details that they were told into the conversation. The landlord reached out to us and showed us the conversation and the guest was threatening us and her with violence. She asked that we keep the fact that we even live on the property to ourselves. It was a very scary situation and I really thought that my partner learned their lesson about strangers.
But, they didn’t. I’m traveling out of town for work and I guess there was a break in on one of the of the properties. The landlord was reviewing the security cameras when they caught my partner telling another guest about the details of our lease again. They wanted to call my partner and speak to them on the phone to express how serious it is that they do not share details about our lease but I guess when confronted about it, my partner lied and said they didn’t say anything. I guess partner didn’t realize they had been caught in 4K.
The landlord was really upset not only that partner lied but went against her wishes of keeping the agreement to themselves once I calmed the landlord down I phoned my partner but by the time I got ok the phone with my partner I was honestly incredibly irritated. I didn’t raise my voice but I was firm and harsh and told them that the oversharing behavior and it has got to stop. I said “really, how hard is it just to keep your mouth shut when our safety is at risk?” I told them they need to look at going to therapy for this behavior.
They became so agitated they started screaming and crying at me “I AM NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU!!” (What? No one even said that!) & “I DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT THIS STUPID HOUSE ILL JUST LEAVE!” (Ez for you to say you haven’t subleased your apartment and moved all your belongings into here yet)
I let them know that we both should take a breather from the convo and now I’m sitting here with my head in my hands, wondering what to do. I know that this is a long read and many people might not make it this far, but if you’ve made it this far, I could really use some advice. I don’t want to talk to my friends and family, because I don’t want them to form a bad opinion about my partner. I feel like I’m dating a child and then I have to correct them like a parent but I don’t want to break up because they are just so good to me outside of this. Please anyone help.

Effect: Inverse the effect of surrounding jokers (immediate left and right)
Below is a list of how this joker would effect other jokers. I have bolded the changes to each effect to make it easier to see what is different.
I have italicized the effects that are only negative effects, I am not sure these effects should be included as a way to make this joker have downsides or not. On one hand its a cool idea because you need to manage the placement of this joker, but on the other hand this may be a very shallow complication to the gameplay of this joker and may not even be worthwhile. I would love to hear your opinions on this.
Also if there are (???) next to the effect I am unsure if this should be the inverted effect or not. The food items in particular I am unsure if they should get better over time instead of getting worse over time (and maybe if they do get better over time they should start as debuffs aka negative modifiers).
I will update this list with your ideas if they seem more cohesive or well thought out.
Also if anyone is interested in helping me turn this into a mod, please reach out. This idea is probably not going to leave my head until it gets implemented in some fashion. I have experience with coding and game development, but have never used love2d or looked into modding balatro)
Compatible Jokers (and new effect):

• All first page jokers would be negative mult or chips
• Half Joker(+20 mult if played hand contains 4+ cards)
• Joker Stencil (x1 mult for each filled Joker slot)
• Ceremonial Dagger (Generates a Joker to the right that costs the current mult to generate)???
• Banner (+30 chips for each discard used)
• Mystic Summit (+15 mult if no discards used)
• Raised Fist (Adds double the rank of the highest ranked card held as mult)???
• Abstract Joker (+3 mult for each empty Joker slot)
• Delayed Gratification ($2 per used discard)
• Pareidolia (No cards are considered face cards)
• Even Steven (Played cards with odd rank give +4 mult when scored)
• Odd Todd (Played cards with even rank give +31 chips)
• Scholar (Played aces give +20 mult and +4 chips when scored)??????????????
• Bussiness Card (Played non-face cards have a 1 in 2 chance to give $2 when scored)
• Ride the Bus (This Joker gains +1 mult per consecutive hand played with a scoring face card)
• Space Joker (1 in 4 chance to downgrade played poker hand)???
• Egg (Loses $3 of sell value at end of round)???
• Burglar (When blind is selected lose 3 hands and gain 3 discards)
• Blackboard (x3 mult if all cards held in hand are Diamonds or Hearts)
• Ice Cream (+100 chips +5 chips for every hand played)????????
• Blue Joker (+2 chips for every card used this round)
• Sixth Sense (If first hand of the round is a single 6, duplicate it and add it to hand)???
• Constellation (This Joker loses x0.1 mult for every time a planet card is used)???
• Hiker (Every played card permanently loses -5 Chips when scored)???
• Faceless Joker (Earn $5 when 3 or more non-face cards are discarded at the same time)
• Green Joker (-1 mult per hand played +1 mult per discard)
• Card Sharp (x3 mult if played poker hand has not already been played this round)
• Red Card (This Joker gains +3 mult when any booster pack is not skipped) [needs better wording]
• Vampire (Adds random enhancement to non-scoring cards in played hand)??????
• Hologram (This Joker gains x0.25 mult every time a playing card is removed from your deck)
• Vagabond (Create a tarot card if hand is played with $5 or more)
• Obelisk (This Joker gains x0.2 mult per consecutive hand played that is your most played hand) [probably too broken]
• Midas Mask (All played non-face cards become Gold cards when scored)
• Photograph (Last played face card gives x2 mult)???????
• Turtle Bean (+5 hand size increase by 1 every round)??????????????
• Erosion (+4 mult for each card above 52 in your full deck)
• Reserved Parking (Each non-face card held in hand has a 1 in 2 chance to give $1)
• Hallucination (1 in 2 chance to create a tarot card when any booster pack is skipped)
• Juggler (-1 hand size)
• Drunkard (-1 discard)
• Lucky Cat (This Joker gains x0.25 mult every time a lucky card is played and not triggered)??????
• Baseball card (Common and Rare Jokers each give x1.5 mult) [broken?]
• Trading Card (If first discard of round has only 1 card duplicate it and add it to hand)???
• Popcorn (+20 mult +4 mult per round played)????????
• Ramen (x2 mult gains x0.01 mult per card discarded)???????????
• Walkie Talkie (each played 10 or 4 gives +4 chips and +10 mult)???
• Castle (This Joker gains +3 chips per played [suit] card, suit changes every round)
• Smiley Face (Played non-face cards give +5 mult when scored)
• Campfire (This Joker gains x0.25 mult for each card bought, resets when Boss Blind is defeated)
• Acrobat (x3 mult on every hand besides the final hand)???
• Sock and Buskin (Retrigger all played non-face cards)
• Troubadour (-2 hand size, +1 hand each round)
• Certificate (When round begins add a random playing card with a random Enhancement to your hand)???
• Smeared Joker (Hearts and Spades count as the same suit. Diamonds and Clubs count as the same suit)???
• Throwback (x0.25 mult for each Blind selected this round)???
• Hanging Chad (Retrigger the Last card used in scoring 2 additional times)
• Glass Joker (This Joker gains x0.75 mult for every Glass Card played and not destroyed, loses x1.5 mult for every glass card destroyed)???
• Flower Pot (x3 mult if poker hand contains no suits) [I'm thinking all stone cards]???????
• Blueprint (Copies ability of Joker to Left) [This would be fun, but honestly confusing]?????
• Wee Joker (This Joker gains +8 Chips when each played 2 is not scored)???
• Merry Andy (-3 discards each round, +1 hand size)
• Oops! All 6s (Halves all listed probabilities (ex: 1 in 3 -> 1 in 6)
• Seeing Double (x2 mult if played hand does not have a scoring club card, but two still has at least two separate suits)??????
• Matador (Earn $8 upon completing boss blind without triggering its effects)???
• Hit the Road (This Joker gains x0.5 mult for every Jack in hand)
• Stuntman (-250 Chips, +2 hand size)???
• Brainstorm (Copies the ability of the Rightmost joker)???
• Shoot the Moon (Each played queen card gives +13 mult) [or maybe discard]???
• Driver's License (x3 mult if you have no enhanced cards in your full deck)
• Cartomancer (Create a tarot card when Blind is skipped)
• Astronomer (All Tarot cards and Arcana Packs in the shop are free)?????
• Burnt Joker (Upgrade the level of the first played poker hand each round) [broken?]??????
• Canio (This Joker gains x1 mult when a face card is added to your deck)???
• Triboulet (Held Kings and Queens each give x2 mult)???
• Yorick (This Joker gains x1 mult every 23 cards played)???
• Perkeo (Destroys 1 random consumable card in your possession at the end of the shop and generates a random planet, tarot, or spectral card)????????????????

Thank you for your time lol

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/bomblebeeee
Originally posted to relationship_advice + TrueOffMyChest
My (28f) fiance (30m) is ghosting me on our wedding day. How can I calm my anxiety?
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: abandonment, mentions of mental health issues, emotional abuse and manipulation
My (28f) fiancé (30m) is ghosting me on our wedding day. How can I calm my anxiety?: May 1, 2024
TLDR at the bottom.
(28f) am getting married today to my fiance (30m). It's the legal document signing and our ceremony is on Saturday. I haven't slept in 24 hours I just am feeling so much anxiety.
For reference we were togetheliving together for about 3 years before becoming long distance for one and a half years. I'm back in the country for a week to visit him and family and to have our wedding.
For the last month he has been ghosting me for sometimes even weeks at a time. I know it's because he's going through a mental health crisis, but no matter how much I tell him his actions are causing me pain and straining our communication, he can't change. When he goes through rough times he absolutely shuts down for everyone, especially me. It hurts so much every time knowing that even the person he says is his best friend and future wife, he doesn't trust or respect enough to share or ease his pain.
I thought coming back to the country and the marriage would wake him up from his ghosting tendencies this past month, but it's not. He had a very important meeting at work yesterday that either meant he'd get a raise or be unemployed, and now I don't hear anything from him at all. He's ignoring my calls, he's ignoring my texts (and there are read receipts so I know it's intentionally ignored). It's the morning of, and we are literally set to sign our marriage paperwork in a few hours from now. But I was up all night because I can't shake the anxiety that this isn't what he wants. That hes just doing this to "appease" me despite this being a joint decision.
I still can't even get a hold or reach him. I try so hard to communicate everything with him, but this hurts me deeply, down to my core. Part of me wants to drive over to his apartment and beat his door down and just demand answers as to how he could treat someone he claims he loves this way. But I know he'd just shut down further, say he's sorry, and then bury himself deeper into his guilt and depression.
How can I be supportive through his mental health crisis while also keeping firm on the "this is 500000% some disrespectful and harmful behavior that is absolutely unacceptable" in my opinion. When we were about to be long distance he begged me to try it out because I knew his inability to properly communicate his feelings would be miserable over long distance. But he begged me and promised he would change. I would say he did improve but if this last month has shown me anything it's that I'm about to marry someone who has no qualms and sees no consequence in ghosting your spouse for weeks at a time.
This whole thing gives me so much anxiety I have no idea what to do. Any advice on how to calm my anxiety or maybe try to be more supportive to coax him out of the horrid way his depressive episode is manifesting would be greatly appreciated.
Before I forget, yes of course I've tried to get him to see a therapist or get on medication. For years. There is basically a 0% chance that, if it's coming from me or anyone in my family, he would ever listen to that advice. It's incredibly frustrating and not an option that I can even bring up with him anymore without the conversation devolving and him shutting me out even further.
(I will not be tolerating or responding to any accusations of him cheating or people just saying don't marry him. He is loyal but has a multitude of mental health issues, and I will marry him regardless of what anyone says on the internet. I just want some advice is all.)
TLDR: My fiance keeps ghosting me for weeks at a time and he's doing it again even on the day we are getting married which is causing me insane anxiety.
Edit: I won't be reading anything anymore, and please stop messaging me. If you see a woman who is genuinely struggling with something and clearly has no one else to turn to for advice other than random people on the internet and your response is to ridicule her and call her an idiot.... Then congratulations my last idea of seeking help has failed. Clearly I had no one else to go to, it's my wedding day and I'm on reddit. I don't know why I expected anything less than hate messages and ridicule. Maybe there isn't some magic way to help him through this period of grief, but I didn't think I deserved to be sent all these cruel messages so instantly. To the people messaging me and calling stupid, idiotic, doormat, and that I deserve whatever unhappy life awaits me, you've won.
Relevant Comments
Icy-Original: He’s been ghosting you for the last month and you thought marriage would fix this? You don’t want anyone here to tell you not to marry him when that’s the most logical and smart decision here. You’ve created your own misery and are determined to continue doing so so what do you want from us? We can’t make him unghost you and we can’t make you feel better about this decision you know is dumb as hell. You have a man with mental health problems that refuses to get help, that’s causing severe relationship issues and you’re willingly signing yourself up, aligning yourself legally to have more of these problems till death do you part? When you have kids and he ghost you then what are you going to do? I hope you get what you deserve from this situation. Whatever that entails.

OOP: This marriage has been planned for much longer than just the last month. It wasn't some solution I created by myself. And it isn't no contact for the whole month. Just a week of no contact before he comes back and apologizes for the absence due to unavoidable life events. Then contact for a week before another week of no contact before something else comes up. We spent the whole day together 3 days ago, but because of the meeting yesterday it's now been a day and a half of nothing again. To answer your question of what I'd like, compassion and actual helpful advice was what I was searching for. Not judgement and malice.

 
I was left at the altar yesterday: May 2, 2024
My life was great. My relationship was great. Until yesterday it suddenly wasn't. The last month felt a bit off but I didn't think it would lead to this. I still love him intensely. He still loves me intensely. He wants to stay with me it's just that he says he can't do marriage because he can't untie the trauma he has from the idea of it from his childhood (cult stuff).
My mom says I'll be a pathetic fucking loser if I still stay with him regardless and that he'll never be a part of the family. But I want to stay with him regardless. But I don't know if I can live with the constant fear, anxiety, and insecurites that will come from being with someone who can just leave whenever he feels like it.
My wedding is on Saturday and my family still wants to have it since it's more of a small family gathering already anyways (since his family wasn't invited due to cult stuff). My life as I know it feels completely over. I don't know what to do. The person I turned to for empathy and compassion turned to me screaming that I'm a fucking idiot. I'm only in the country for my wedding, I live abroad. My new job and my fiancee pressured me and reassured me I should already use my new married name professionally. I'm a teacher and all my kids already know me as his name.
Everything sucks and I can't stop sobbing.
Edit: to clarify. He left me while we were about to sign the marriage certificate. It's a symbolic left at the altar since there was never going to be an actual altar anyway.
Update: I told my mom that the way she phrased her advice/opinion was cruel. She told me she's tired of my drama and doesn't need it in her old age. I already had told her she was right and I knew what she said was right, but just that the way she said it was cruel. She said she no longer cares about maintaining a relationship with me and that it isn't worth the drama at her age. I apologized because she's right. I'm a piece of shit who never saw that this situation hurt and humiliated her too. I wanted to just have this be a nice party with friends and just spend time together. I'm going to try my best to keep my negativity inside so it doesn't spoil the mood and maybe there's a hope to salvage it as a good party. But I think once I return abroad that this will be the last time my mom will ever speak to me again. I don't know how I could repay her for all she spent on this wedding, but hopefully removing myself from her life will maybe make her life more peaceful and less stressful, even if it destroys me.
As for him, thank you all so much for your kindness, advice, and perspectives. It truly makes me feel better to read the comments even if they hurt and I deserve it. We will be talking about it tomorrow in person, and I've scheduled an emergency therapy appointment for myself for tomorrow morning. Ive never done therapy before, and I'm scared, but I know it's what I need. I'm so angry at him for ruining my entire life that I don't know if the love I have can salvage this.
Relevant Comments
Geezell: No, hon. You can’t be with someone who cannot effectively communicate their fears and needs and, instead, choose to run. He failed you. He does not get to treat you like that. You deserve better. Your Mom may have let her anger for you make her word things poorly but she is right….that dude does not get to have his cake and eat it too.
Go back home. Go no contact with him. Finish out the teaching contract as it. Then, my recommendation is to find a teaching job in a dream location. Maybe, be a traveling teacher for a few years. Heal. Live big. And, if you wish, find love again.

OOP: I am a travelling teacher already. I'm home right now just for the week so that I could do my wedding. Back to where I live abroad next week to live a life of isolation and loneliness.

thunderchaud: Please elaborate on cult stuff, that could literally be anything

OOP: He's seen marriage used as a way to entrap and oppress women due to the cult culture of his family. He doesn't understand that what he's done is created a tilted power dynamic where he's holding all the power and autonomy and I'm the scared, anxiety riddled one terrified he'll leave at any moment in any possible future we may have now. Which is honestly worse in my opinion.

detikripur: So many questions but at the top of my head is these: why did he agree to “marry” you? Why were you using a name that wasn’t yours for so long that your students know you by that name? Haven’t you talked beforehand with him? Was this relationship one sided?

OOP: He asked me to marry him. My job told me to start using his name because the school year started in April and I would be changing my name in May. I said no it felt like I'd jinx it. I called him and he said stop being such an over thinker and just use my name. I talked with him, he reassured me. It's been 3 weeks that my kids know me as that name. And to be honest yes it does feel one sided. But not in the way you're implying.

 
Update: I was left at the altar yesterday: May 8, 2024
For a brief recap, I was going to the officiant to sign my marriage license with my fiance (who I'd been with for 4 years). He chickened out and said he couldn't marry me and ruptured my image of us. TLDR at bottom.
On to the update. Since I was so brutally humiliated, it really made me think back on all the not great parts of us. He was always very gaslighty whenever I'd claim his actions reflected the opposite of his words (I respect you, I care for you). So I ended up talking to him. I asked him to define what his definition of loving someone, respecting someone, caring for someone, and trusting someone means. Needless to say they were twisted and not healthy at all. I tried to make him see that and he had a few moments of holy shit I think you're right, I don't actually trust or respect you.
Now just because he admitted it didn't mean the crazy selfish actions didn't continue throughout the entirety of the conversation. It was so crazy how I'd never been able to articulate it in a way to where he actually understood before. He actually had the gall to say "Wow we should have had this conversation a long time ago" because of how much he was realizing he was treating me like trash then gaslighting me about it. I was like bitch I've been trying to tell you this for years but you never respected me enough to listen and I was always too emotional to articulate it properly.
Anyways, he wanted to do marriage counseling with the intent to marry at the end. I told him I'd rather break up because the power dynamic is too shifted and I don't feel like it's salvageable. With how he was listening to me and finally acknowledging and understanding me and his own actions I was hopeful for maybe a friendship one day in the distant future. But after a teary, bittersweet goodbye, he absolutely ruined it with yet another selfish action right at the last moment.
I didn't want to be touched or do physical affection for multiple reasons. One of the main reasons being he uses it for comfort when he's feeling sorry for himself. I had just spent 3 hours explaining how he never thinks of me in any of his actions, and maybe it's cruel of me to keep that last kiss or whatever, but it felt selfish and manipulative to me. So after an actually heartfelt goodbye and promise to be better people in the future, we part ways. Only for him to run back to me to try and do some romantic swoop in and kiss me. I recoiled really fast and honestly just stared at him incredulously. Like he had just ignored everything I had just said. That was the moment I went from sadness and grief from losing something so important to me, to just numb and angry about it.
I haven't cried since, I don't even feel sad when I think about him because all I can think about is how angry the whole thing makes me feel. I'm 28 and feel like I wasted my good years on someone who had zero regard for me in any capacity. I developed so many new insecurities, confidence issues, and trauma from 4 years with him and now I have to navigate the dating pool again with all of that (in a foreign country no less!)
TLDR: I broke up with him and I'm just angry now.
Relevant/Top Comments
Libra_8118: How are you and your mom doing? It sounds like you left your home and family for him. Are you thinking of coming back home?

OOP: Both my family and him are in America. I left for me, my dreams, and career. I'm actually thankful that I can go back abroad to be away from him and honestly I need some time away from my mom as well.

Forward-Cockroach945: Bravo I'm so proud of you for finally ending it with him. It's likely he only "understands" you now as a form of gaslighting and trying to placate you . I know it hurts now but with time you will heal and be stronger. Don't worry about dating right now, worry about loving yourself and nurturing yourself. Give yourself all the love support and understanding you normally gave to him. You deserve it. I hope your therapy visits go well and help you build up your self worth and bullshit detector. I'm so glad to hear you took the right steps towards a healthier happier life
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Please give me your thoughts on my school list. Thank you!
Stats: 4.0 GPA, 517 (130/125/132/130) MCAT
ORM, Texas resident with strong ties to Washington St, undergrad to Baylor University.
Academic awards: Dean's List, Honors, Certification in Healthcare Spanish, Provost's Scholarship, Outstanding designation
Non-academic awards: Baylor Excellence in Student Leadership Award, Folmar Research Grant, Outstanding Presentation Awards for research.
Leadership: 770~ hours - supplemental instructor for chemistry, Vice President, Mission Chair
Research: 1000+ hours - internship, long-term microbiology lab experience, quality-improvement project in hospital -- will get a couple publications next year, 3 presentations both won awards.
Clinical: 150 shadowing hours, 400+ hours patient care/interaction - good variety; hospitals, rural clinics, international in Kenya + Philippines on mission
Non-clinical volunteering: worship leader (1000+ hr), ESL volunteer (50~ hours, new position), vacation bible school in Kenya and Philippines (~100 hr).
School List: https://admit.org/school-list-builde84ae684a-8573-4776-9fc6-beebefb05fc2
- Duke
- Stanford
- Perelman
- Mayo
- Vanderbilt
- UT Austin
- St. Louis University
- UT Southwestern
- UNC Chapel Hill
- Georgetown
- Tulane
- Emory
- Baylor
- University of Pittsburgh
- Loyola
- University of Washington
- Loma Linda
- Creighton
- Colorado
- University of Cincinnati
- McGovern (UT Houston)
- Texas A&M
- University of Houston
- UT Tyler
- Texas Tech Lubbock
- Texas Tech El Paso
- UTRGV
- UT Medical Branch (UTMB)
- TCU

Saw someone comment this once and it needs to brought up here lol.
Here is a list of weird shit christi has done :
-screamed at paige

• racist towards Kaya
  
• screaming at Maddie about Chloe beating her
  

-accusing maddie of lying and cheating

• tweeted shade about maddies TCA award win over chloe saying it was rigged
  
• retweeted a tweet calling maddie a pretty little liar after the girls talk episode
  
• following a twitter group called “the circle” dedicated to writing nasty things about maddie
  
• saying maddie didnt wanna skate because she couldnt handle not being the best at everything
  
• getting mad that an 8yr old maddie was crying after the watermelon game and accused her of hating when the other girls get attention
  
• going on her podcast saying that if chloe acted how maddie did she would be called a brat
  
• imitating maddies voice
  
• gleefully told a story about how maddie at 4 yrs old forgot her trio with chloe and paige
  
• tweeted shade that maddie bought followers to surpass chloe on instagram
  
• angrily called maddie “your precious one” in front of her
  
• screamed at melissa saying mackenzie wasnt an og
  
• screamed about melissas home life when her kids could hear
  
• took kurts side even after the girls opened up about their difficulties w their dad
  
• painted kristie ray as aggressive when she called her a bitch
  
• screamed “what place did brynn get” “you’ll never be on broadway” to a 13 yr old
  
• brought out an old dance competition book just to say kendall was 10th
  
• implied maddie would be dumb if she was homeschooled and then put chloe in homeschooling
  
• made fun of abby non consensually kissing maddie in 2022
  
• said paiges party being held at maddies house was because the Zieglers wanted to manipulate the other girls into not talking bad about them
  
• complained that the zieglers think theyre above the other girls because they didnt wanna take pictures despite her praising the girls for not posting pics because they didnt want to be known as the dance moms girls
  
• made weird sexual comments ab melissa on her pod
  
• banned the word maddie from her instagram comment section