Having my prostate milked story

I stopped breast feeding…because I wanted to. I produced plenty of milk, my baby latched great, pumping was working fine. I just simply did not want to do it anymore. It took up so much of my time, I hated carrying around all the tiny pieces to my pump, and I hated having to bag and measure out everything for childcare. I have a super supportive partner and my work was incredibly accommodating for me to take breaks and get the privacy I needed. I wasn’t going to have a mental breakdown and I knew I could keep going…but I didn’t want to anymore. I felt so much guilt about it and thought about what I would tell another woman who was experiencing the same feelings as me. It’s my choice and I have a completely healthy and beautiful baby. She is doing great, loves formula, never had any issues.
I still from time to time feel guilty that I quit without “reason” but it’s my body and not wanting to do it anymore should be a good enough reason. I knew eventually I would get to a breaking point, and it made me happier to not EBF. So I’m throwing this out there in case anyone else has a similar story or can relate or also needs to hear: it’s your body and it’s okay to stop because you want too.

This story has been published in Bloody Twine #1. This first book of mine was my "starter book," so it's very short. My other books are, at the very least, twice as long. In fact, "What's Under There?" is the shortest story I've written in the series, weighing in at just 1604 words. The average read time for it is only 6 minutes and 45 seconds. Enjoy!
WHAT'S UNDER THERE?
What IS under there?
Oliver walked into the kitchen and pulled on the hem of his mother’s dress. The woman looked down at him and smiled, but he knew she was not happy he was in here.
“Yes, my little one?” she asked.
“Can I have a cookie?” asked Oliver.
“May I have a cookie,” corrected his mother.
“May I have a cookie?” asked Oliver.
“You may, my little Ollie, but only one,” said his mother as she held up her right index finger in front of his little face. “Dinner will be ready soon.”
She ushered him over to the little square kitchen table and sat him in his booster chair. He was not a baby anymore, but he needed a little extra boost to properly reach his food.
The woman handed him his oatmeal cookie, and he held the big, round, edible disk in both hands. He took a bite of that delicious cookie, but there was a lot on his young mind, and he knew she could tell.
The older woman cocked her head to one side and looked down at him in strange concern. She smiled as she did so, an affect that Oliver was still not used to. His mother had never smiled so much until just recently.
“What is it, my little one?” she asked.
“When is Daddy coming home?” asked Oliver.
“Now, now,” said his mother with a wagging finger. “Your father has gone away. He’s not coming home.”
“He isn’t?” asked Oliver.
“No, no,” smiled his mother. “We talked about this, my little Ollie. Your father’s gone away, and he’s not coming back.”
He wanted to cry over this again, but he knew she would scold him if he did. She had told him the same thing yesterday, and he had cried then, and she had scolded him to the point where he had been terrified. It was something in her eyes that scared him so, and now he was too afraid to earn her ire again. Even so, his eyes watered at the thought of it, the thought of his father never returning home.
“Now, don’t you cry,” said his mother with a shake of her head. “Big boys don’t cry…I know something that will help, though. I know exactly what you need. You need a glass of milk for your cookie.”
He nodded his head in acceptance. He did not know why his father was not coming home, but he did not want to get in trouble anymore. Nevertheless, he saw something that bothered him, and it bothered him a lot. He couldn’t help but ask about it.
“Mommy, why is your face peeling?” asked Oliver.
His mother’s face was indeed peeling, peeling upon her left cheek, just a little, but enough to bother him, the pale skin off a tiny sliver, a fleck of jet black, like coal, beneath it.
“Don’t you worry about that, my little Ollie,” smiled his mother. “That’s not important.”
“Are you sick?” asked Oliver.
He had been wondering if she were ill, as she was not her usual self, and this bothered him…It bothered him a lot.
“Just eat your cookie, dearie,” smiled his mother.
Oliver took a bite of his cookie, but it tasted funny. He had not noticed it with the first bite, but now he did. He hesitated to have any more, but his mother would not have it.
“Eat all of it,” smiled his mother.
He took to eating the cookie again regardless of the taste. He did not want to get in trouble again.
“That’s a good boy,” smiled his mother.
She went to the fridge and pulled out the milk carton from it. She took down a glass from the left cabinet above the sink and poured him a tall glass of milk.
“Here you are now,” she said as she handed him the glass.
He eagerly took the glass with both hands, as he was sorely in need of a drink, but the milk tasted funny as well, just like the cookie.
“This doesn’t taste right,” said Oliver. “The cookie doesn’t taste right, either.”
“You asked for a cookie, and you got one,” said his mother. “I even poured you a glass of milk, Ollie. Now, don’t be ungrateful.”
His mother reached up and scratched at the left side of her face, and more of her skin peeled away, just a bit, but more than enough to make Oliver nervous.
“Mommy, why is your face peeling?” he asked again. “I don’t like it…”
There were small scratches on her face where her nails had raked across her pale skin, and these scratches left strange lines of ebony, like black trails in peach-brushed snow.
“I told you not to ask that, Oliver,” warned his mother.
She reached up and scratched at the skin of her left cheek again, and even more of her skin peeled away to reveal a small patch of pitch black beneath it.
Now Oliver really needed to know. He needed to know what was wrong with his mother, because something was wrong, very wrong, and he did not know what else to do but ask.
“Mommy, something’s wrong with your face,” he said nervously. “There’s something under your skin. What’s under there?”
His mother’s eyes widened as she turned up her lips in a weird, disturbing smile.
“Do you want to know?” she asked. “Do you really want to know?”
In truth, Oliver did not want to know, because something was very, very wrong, and he was suddenly afraid to know. There was something wrong about everything right now, from his father not returning home yesterday to his mother acting all strange. Everything right now was wrong, so whether he liked it or not, he needed to know, so he nodded his little head in silent reply.
“Okay, my little Ollie,” replied his mother. “I’ll sing you a song about it…but you won’t like it. You won’t like it at all.”
Ollie swallowed a chunk of cookie out of fearful reflex.
His mother stared at him with wide eyes as she sang with a smile.
“What’s under there? What’s under there?” she sang. “Under Mommy’s face, so fine and fair? What’s under there? What’s under there? Under pale, pale skin and long black hair?”
She reached up and peeled off more of her cheek skin, revealing a large swatch of black beneath it, about the size of a thumb, and Oliver’s little hands shook as he squeezed the half-eaten cookie in his clutching fingers.
“Daddy, Daddy, found a book,” sang his mother. “He dug it out of a hidden nook. It told a lot of horrid things, written for the ancient kings. He said the words, he read them loud, and then sprang out a turbid cloud. Black and slick and old as ages, it billowed from the musty pages.”
His mother continued to smile as she peeled off a large flap of pale skin from her left cheek. Beneath it were her teeth, the ivory pegs flawless in the light, but as she peeled backwards toward the end of her jaw, more teeth were revealed, all the same, but many more than there should have been, all the way back to the end of her jaw, all set in a line of ebony flesh beneath an outer layer of peeling, pale skin.
“What’s under there? What’s under there?” sang Oliver’s mother. “Under Mommy’s face, so fine and fair? What’s under there? What’s under there? Under pale, pale skin and long black hair?”
The cookie crumbled under Oliver’s grip, the flecks falling like dust to the kitchen table. He shook in his chair, his mouth partially open, his eyes wide, his skin blanching as he continued to watch and listen to his mother.
“Ancient, ancient, billowed, and swirled, it sprang from the pages and into the world,” sang his mother. “Existing long before Noah’s Sea, antediluvian, finally free!”
It was something in her eyes that caused Oliver to shake, the madness and fury in his mother’s eyes that held him in place in his booster chair.
“Daddy ran with all his heart, but he was quickly torn apart,” sang his mother. “Mommy screamed and tried to shout, but she was eaten from the inside out!”
His mother tore off the pale skin from the entire left side of her face, the flap of it falling onto the floor in a wet plop of a white sheet, like rain-soaked paper.
The obsidian flesh beneath the peeling skin was slick and looked to be made of tiny overlapping scales. Her left eye was a golden color with a single, black, vertical slit where a normally-round pupil should have been, and a fire was burning within that black slit, but frosty-blue, like a flame made of ice.
Even her smile was uncanny, as the right side of her face held normal teeth and lips, while the left side of her face held a lipless mouth with teeth that spanned all the way back to her neckline.
“Now it’s time for a little snack, made with fear in a fleshy sack,” sang his mother. “Alive, alive, where you cannot move! That makes for a more delicious food!”
She finished her song with unusual gusto, the very sound of it echoing around the kitchen to assault Oliver’s little ears without mercy.
Oliver’s terror-induced paralysis finally broke as he willed his muscles to move. He hopped down from his booster seat and ran for the kitchen door, but the drug in his cookie and milk slowed him down far too much for him to actually make it there.

Hi everyone, I need advice who is also a transgender girl, or sissy, and everyone who has ever had an orgasm by stimulating only the prostate with hands, toys, and not touched the cock or was in the chastity belt, I really want to get sissygasm for a long time, and have tried different ways, each of my orgasms is only using dildo, I have tried cumming a lot, and then not use the penis to get sissygasm, but I didn't succeed, And now I abstain from orgasms for more than a week, I don't touch the penis, and when I'm horny, I use dildo to relieve sexual tension, but even when I'm very horny, and I try to stimulate the prostate, I also tried to do it with my fingers, pressed and stimulated my prostate, at most, it's a very large amount of lubricant from the penis, or urine comes out of me. Who managed to do this, and who has experienced sissygasm or does it all the time, share your story about how you came to this achievement, many thanks to everyone who answers me in advance, it will be very much It is interesting to read, and I will answer you, and in the future I will share my successes!

• Author's Note: So! With Book #1 finishing at Issue #61 we now go into Book #2. The situation is changed for our protagonist and he's had it... decently rough, but always had people behind him for help. Wonder how his new position will affect him and his choices? We'll have to wait and see. Enjoy this little snippet to start us off with to the next leg of his journey! Also you can check character art of the Beast World characters or others on my Ko-Fi page! If you enjoy my art, I just opened comissions as well so hit me up if you want to get a piece!

Michael stepped through the dark woods at a slightly above leisure pace. The first rays of the dawn's light haven't yet penetrated the ironclad cover of the forest's canopy. Its thickness held together the shroud of darkness below, only small shreds of it peaking through rarely. Although he knew he walked a familiar path, the reduced visibility made the walk nearly alien, with a stumble here and a trip there, an uncertainty started to seep into Michael's chest even if he didn't know it.
'Alright. It is going to take a bit to get there, but I'll be making it in time. So... daeman. Based on what I know they are just basically pink demons. Ok, ok, ok... I've done this until now on a dime... I just... phew... just gotta do my character research. Yeah... just like theater. Literally it is just theatrics. So... what's a demon? Well if years of playing dnd thought me anything is that they are either feral, unhinged and nuts OR eerily calm, imposing, calculated and scheeming. I did both of those and a demon that can do both is even worse. Just gotta switch between those when it makes sense. Mhmm... so personality wise... basically gotta switch between one of those pointy eared muscle covered hounds and a chihuahua that can actually bite, not just bark.'
While the nervous human revised his 'role', he'd already start to adjust his body language. As if by instinct he'd lift his shoulders and roll them back, his spine popping as he straightened, shoulders relaxing and dropping at ease after that. This move would straighten his posture entirely and push out his ribcage and chest, something his mother drilled into his head over the years as being a confident, yet relaxed posture when done right. He'd straighten his head's posture, from the neck, which nearly made him look like it was positioned up from a downward perspective, requiring him to literally look down upon someone with his eyes. His hands were curled up nearing to fists, yet hung relaxed, as if to show an eager readiness for violence. As a last touch up instead of stepping quietly as he got used to over the years, he'd let his steps announce his presence, as one who's afraid of nothing would.
After traveling a bit over half of the treck towards the river and where the Rock Backs would be situated, there would be a clear sight of lights up ahead in the distance, clearly from torches. Michael would gaze at them with a bit of confusion, but regardless he kept on walking closer and openly. Slowly, three figures would be more visible, one of them turned showing as to either be themselves striped or have brown stripes painted on their back.
Only half a second of hesitation would pass as the human took in a deep breath and he then shouted out. "Ay! You three. You're with the Rock Backs, correct?" He'd say while showing quite the enthusiastic face despite his true feelings of nervousness.
As he had guessed, indeed the trio seemed to be Tuskir and the stripes confirmed their alegiance as expected. The figures turned to face him properly as he shouted in his approach. Once he got a bit closer, one of them that was a bit more upfront huffed a not so pleased snort at him.
"Aye. We were sent ahead to guide ya to our encampment, Daeman." He replied with a clear displeasure to his tone.
Another one of them stood silent as he just glared at Michael, while the third let out a guttural squeal and spat on the ground. "Well? What ya waitin' fer, hellspawn? Pick up the pace and keep yer paws where we can see 'em. Just cause ya struck a deal with Bruyza, it don't mean we gotta like ya."
"Dawww. Isn't this nice? We already seem to be getting along and on the same page. I've a feeling we'll be sharing stories soon while braidin' one another's hair, eh? You'd look good with twin tails." Michael said smirking while looking at the third Tuskir who haf a wilder mane and carried himself in a heavier looking armor than the other two.
The human continued his walk with the trio, but something didn't sit right with him. While they walked, two of the three had put out and discarded their torches. As they walked forward wordlessly, those same two boar men would also position themself to the sides and back of Michael, doing so nearly seemlessly, but not enough for the human not to notice.
While they advanced, Michael would peek at them with the corners of his eyes while also glancing forward at the only one who still had a light source. 'This doesn't feel right. I know for certain we were to meet at the same place as before... am I being paranoid? Alright... think. If they were afraid I'd not show up they'd wait until the time was up and then came to us... there's no reason for them to think I need escorts since I'm supposed to be a big scary strong thing. Eeeeh... why are these shmucks here then?"
Michael started taking into consideration multiple reasons that could be possible for his unexpected escort to be present, but none of them made sense. With his uneasiness building up, he'd sling his backpack off and hold it, quickly getting the attention of the two at the back.
"What do you think yer doin', hellspawn?" One of them asked while putting a hand on an axe hung by his belt.
"Hm? Oh, cut down on that paranoia. Makes you seem pathetic. This meat form I had to take to be here has needs. One of them happens to be water. If you've ever heard of somethin' like that, or... what? Do you milk rocks up in the mountains to sustain yourselves?" Michael would reply with a chuckle as he taunted his escort while starting to rustle objects in his backpack with his hand.
"You... hnngh-..." The Rock Back grunted and huffed as he muttered between clenched teeth.
Taking advantage of this momentary distraction, Michael would feel about and find one of his tiny Woh flask potions and he'd use his fingers to tuck it into the band of his bracer at the wrist, before grasping a hold of a small water skin and pulling it out. 'Heh. Well, I might not be a good slight of hand at pocker, but I didn't learn to hide pieces of paper in my sleeves for nothing. Stressful, but thanks to that I passed chemistry in highschool.' He'd think while smirking at the one of the escort he just antagonized, giving him a double eyebrow wiggle lift up as he took a sip of his water.
"You really like talkin' daeman, or you just like the sound o' your voice?" The armored one asked, who also happened to be the one with the torch at the front. He walked with his back turned at the human, not even trying to gaze back as he spoke.
"Eh. I find conversing with you meat sacks at least a bit intriguing. It is fun to hear what thoughts run through those narrow minds of yours. Why are you asking? Interested in actually entertaining me in conversation?" Michael would reply as he packed his waterskin once more and put his backpack back on.
"Thought ta meself it'd be crazy to converse with somethin' like ya, but then I realized, what da hell, when am I ta get another chance like this?" The Tuskir continued while slowing his pace, as if to let Michael approach to make their talk easier to get into.
The human naturally inched closer bit by bit as he simply walked, his smirk still on his expression. He'd keep vigilent of the two in the back while moving up in the small formation. "Indeed. Perhaps I'll be able to satisfy some of your curio-"
Before he could finish his sentence, the armored tuskir in front of him stopped dead in his tracks, turning with a decently large vial of liquid and herbs in his other hand and he'd splash Michael right in the face. Surprised by the sudden violent spill of liquid against his face, the human would close his eyes and bring his hands to his face to quickly wipe away the liquid. While blinded in this manner, his guard would be shattered as a brutal force would then slam into his right side, making Michael buckle as he got sent rolling in the opposite direction.
"HAHAHA! GOT 'IM GOOD, DIDN' I?!" exclaimed one of the two Tuskir from the back, who was armed with a club, right after he just bashed up the human.
Michael took a half second to realize he just got attacked, with the hand that had the vial hidden against its wrist pushup to his eyes to wipe them, he'd push himself up on the other wobbly like. He was afraid to try and open his eyes, unknowing what he got splashed with so instead he bit on the cork of his poison vial, opened it and stashed it in his cheek, as he dripped the solution on his tongue while wiping his eyes. "I- I can't see-..." he groaned loudly while trying to get his footing.
"Yeah. You got 'im good." The armored tuskir said while tossing the vial aside. "Better prepare yourself fer a sudden departure daeman. We'll make sure ta send ya back to the firey pit ya came from. Hope ya liked a lil' taste o' holy water. Keep ya well on your way back." He'd say while taking a handaxe off of his own belt.
"Hah ha ha... Sadly fer ya, not all o' us are keen on makin' deals with hell filth. Bruyza ain' gonn' be happy with ya missin' but is expected of daemen to be shifty scum, so yer missin' presence will be easy ta explain when we're all... surprised yer missin', he he he... ." The tuskir who Michael antagonized said while snorting and cackling, unsheathing his handaxe at the ready.
The three began closing in on Michael, their gate relaxed as they taunted him, their confidence in having the upperhand letting them ooze with a gloating energy. Michael instead had finally gathered himself, head tilted back as he held onto his face, having just finished the last few drips of the Woh vial.
"I can't see... how you furred fucks didn't think that'd just piss me off." He'd say as his trembling voice would change to one more confident. As he spoke he lowered his head at a way lower angle, pulling his hand down in the same motion to reveal a pair of bloodshot eyes, as well as a bloody dripping nose and a wide toothy grin, stained by his own crimson. The shadows on his face would make it seem like he bared his teeth from ear to ear, the expression of the pin point focused eyes, quickly darting to focus on each of the three attackers. Now, that put a stop to their enclosing movement, and this simple shift had changed their confident gloating to a dread filled uncertainty.

In honor of Israel’s birthday, I would love to hear a story or a tidbit about something either funny or moving that you or someone you know experienced, that would only happen in Israel.
I’ll start:
Today my friend went to the bagel shop to get an iced coffee, and she asked the owner if he had any almond milk. He told her no, sorry, he ran out- but if she really wanted it, she would have to go and get it. He hands her 100 shek and sends her to the Makolet. She returns with the almond milk and the change, he makes her the coffee, and thanks her for the milk.
Would love to hear yours!

tl;dr I added a chicken bouillon cube to my Chana (Chickpea) masala recipe and it turned out to be the most delicious Chana masala I've had in my entire life.
So a little back story, in my eternal quest to perfect my restaurant style Indo Chinese fried rice recipe, I came across a video where a chef mentioned that restaurants actually use vegetable broth powder instead of msg to finish off the fried rice. I couldn't find powdered vegetable stock in the supermarkets here, only those bouillons which are dehydrated broth packaged into tiny cubes. I resorted to using Vegeta seasoning instead for my fried rice after some research but it didn't bring the flavor I was looking for.
Anyway, today on a whim, I decided to buy these bouillon cubes, specifically the Knorr chicken one. In the specific chana masala recipe I usually cook, onions, tomatoes, ginger and garlic are sauted along with powdered spices. I added one chicken bouillon stick at this point. After everything softens, the whole thing is blended and this mixture is cooked with boiled chana and some whole spices. I could already taste the strong umami flavor from the chicken bouillon, I balanced it by adding some coconut milk to it, finished it off with some fresh coriander leaves. I also like to pressure cook it so the chana softens more and flavours get into them.
The result was unbelievable, one of those rare moments when you can't believe that you cooked it. I understand that these cubes have natural msg in them. But I've actually tried using powdered msg in this specific recipe before but it wasn't nearly as good and flavourful. Even though it is chicken broth, there wasn't any noticeable chicken flavor or odor. I think the coconut milk was also complimenting the flavors from the bouillon really well.
Now I'm starting to wonder what other curries could make use of this little trick. I haven't tried the veggie bouillon yet though. I'm curious to know if you guys use it in your curries.

https://imgur.com/a/2cQLfvo
Message me if you have any questions or want pictures of specific volumes. I'm not breaking up sets. Must be over 18 for the explicit BL titles.
AUTHOR, TITLE, PUBLISHER, LANGUAGE, VOLUMES, COST (not including shipping), NOTES
Clamp, Clamp School Detectives, Tokyopop, English, 1-3, 10$, Sale pending
Clamp, Clamp School Paranormal Investigators (Light novel), Tokyopop, English, 1, 3, 5$ Light Novel, Sale pending
Clamp, Gakuen Specialized Police Duklyon, Kadokawa, Japanese, 1-2, 2$
Clamp, Man of Many faces, Tokyopop, English, 1-2, 5$, Sale Pending
Fujii Akemi, Moebius no tamago, Margaret, Japanese, 1-2, 2$
Gainax, Evangelion 4-Komi, Kadokawa, Japanese, 1, 1$, sale pending
Gainax, Evangelion Girlfriend of Steel 4-koma gag battle, Shonen-Oh, Japanese, 1, 1$, sale pending
Hakoda, Maki, Crossbone's Detectives, Wings, Japanese, 1, 1$
Hayakawa Tomoko, Wallflower, Del Rey, English, 1-36, 100$ SOLD!
Higuri You, Ludwig II, DMP, English, 1-2, 5$ EXPLICIT
Hiiragi Aoi, Baron the Cat Returns, Viz, English, 1, 3$, sale pending
Hiwatari Saki, Tower of the Future, CMX, English, 1-11, 30$, sale pending
Hoshino Masami, Watashi no Mono/Shonen, Flower, Japanese, 1, 1$
Ilya, Mammoth Book of Best New Manga, Running Press, English, 3, 3$
Ishihara Satoru, Dost Thou Know?, DMP, English, 1, 3$
Izumi Kaneyoshi, Seiho Boy's High School, VIz, English, 1-8, 25$
Judal, Vampire Game, Tokyopop, English, 1-15, 45$
Kabei Yakako, Kieli (Light Novel), Yen On, English, 1-4, 10$ Light Novel
Kakinouchi Narumi, Utahime Fight!, , Japanese, 1, 1$
Kakinouchi Narumi, Vampire Dahlia, Studio Ironcat, English, 1, 3$
Kamijyo Akimine, Code:Breaker, Del Rey, English, 1, 3$
Kanzaka Hajime, Slayers, Cho Bakumadouden, Kadokawa, Japanese, 1-4, 6-8, 5$
Kanzaka Hajime, Slayers Special, Kadokawa, Japanese, 1, 1$
Kari Erika, Vampire Doll Guilt-na-zan, Tokyopop, English, 1-6, 15$
Katsura Asuka, Le Portrait de Petite Cosette, Tokyopop, English, 1-2, 5$, Sale Pending
Kim Hee-Eun, Kiss for my prince, Infinity, English, 1-2, 5$
Kim Kang-won, I.N.V.U., Tokyopop, English, 1-5, 15$
Kouga, Yun, Crown of Love, Viz, English, 1-4, 12$
Kusunoki Kei, Diabolo, Tokyopop, English, 1-3, 10$
Maeda Tomo, Beyond my touch, DMP, English, 1, 3$
Maeda Tomo, Black Sun, Silver Moon, Go! Comi, English, 1-7, 20$
Mamahara Ellie, Love Terrorist, Kadokawa, Japanese, 1-4, 4$
Mamahara Ellie, Sweet Blood, asuka, Japanese, 1-2, 2$
Manabe Johji, Drakuun, Dark Horse, English, 2, 3$
Matoh Sanami, Fake, Tokyopop, English, 1-7, 20$
Miyamoto Yuki, Cafe Kichijouji de, DMP, English, 1-3, 10$, Sale Pending
Mizuno Tohko, Haruka Beyond the Stream of Time, Viz, English, 1-5, 50$
Morinaga Ai, Gorgeous Life of Strawberry Chan, Media Blasters, English, 1-2, 5$
Morinaga Ai, My Heavenly Hockey Club, Del Rey, English, 1-8, 25$, Sale pending
Morinaga Milk, Girl Friends, Seven Seas, English, 1-2, 5$
Morishita Suu, Shortcake Cake, Viz, English, 1-12, 35$ SOLD!
Murakami Maki, Gravitation, Tokyopop, English, 1-12, 35$, Sale Pending
Murakami Maki, Gravitation EX, Tokyopop, English, 1, 3$ Explicit
Murakami Maki, Gravitation Light Novels, Tokyopop, English, 1-2, 5$
Narushima Yuri, Katenrou, Zero, Japanese, 1, 1$
Natsume Isaku, False Memories, Sublime, English, 1-2, 5$ Explicit, Sale pending
Nitta Youka, Casino Lily, CPM, English, 1, 3$ Explicit, sale pending
Nitta Youka, Embracing Love, CPM/Be Beautiful, English, 1-5, 15$ Explicit, sale pending
Nitta Youka, Sound of my voice, Be Beautiful, English, 1, 3$ Explicit, sale pending
Nitta Youka, Spiritual police, Sublime, English, 1, 3$ Explicit, sale pending
Nitta Youka, Starting with a kiss, Sublime, English, 1-3, 10$ Explicit
Nomura Akiko, London Museum Nocturne, Kodansha, Japanese, 1, 1$
Obana Miho, Hone Bitter, , Japanese, 1, 1$
Ohmi Tomu, Midnight Secretary, Viz, English, 1-2, 5$
Ohtsuki Megumi, Yume made kiss, Princess, Japanese, 1, 1$
Omishi Ray, Cresent Moon, , Japanese, 1, 1$
Sakuragi, Yaya, Bond of Dreams, Bond of Love, Sublime, English, 1-4, 12$ Explicit
Sakurai Umi, Ojisama to Neko / Man and his Cat, PixIV, Japanese, 1-3, 3$
Shiina Ayumi, Anata to Scandal, Ribon, Japanese, 1-4, 4$
Sugisaki Yukiru, D.N.Angel, Tokyopop, English, 1-13, 40$, Sale pending
Tajima, Mimi, Koi Suru 1/4, Margaret, Japanese, 1-10, 10$
Takaguchi Satosumi, Shout Out Loud!, Blu, English, 1-5, 15$ Explicit
Takaya Natsuki, Twinkle Stars, Yen, English, 1-5, 15$, Sale Pending
Tanaka Meca, Meteor Prince, Viz, English, 1-2, 5$
Tanaka Meca, Sailor-Fuku ni Ongegai!, Hana to Yume, Japanese, 1-4, 4$
Tanemura Arina, Full Moon o Sagashite, Viz, English, 1-7, 20$, Sale Pending
Tanemura Arina, I.O.N., Viz, English, 1, 3$, sale pending
Tanemura Arina, Short-Tempered Melacholic and other stories, Viz, English, 1, 3$, sale pending
Taniguchi Tomoko, Aquarium, CPM, English, 1, 3$, Sale Pending
Taniguchi Tomoko, Call me princess, CPM, English, 1, 3$, Sale Pending
Taniguchi Tomoko, Just a Girl, CPM, English, 1, 3$, Sale Pending
Taniguchi Tomoko, Let's Stay Together, CPM, English, 1, 3$, Sale Pending
Taniguchi Tomoko, Miss Me?, CPM, English, 1, 3$, Sale Pending
Taniguchi Tomoko, Princess Prince, CPM, English, 1, 3$, Sale Pending
Tanikawa Fumiko, Mahou o Shinjiru kai?, Ribon, Japanese, 1-3, 3$
Tateno Makoto, Cute x Guy, Ribon, Japanese, 1-3, 3$
Watase Yuu, Alice 19th, Viz, English, 1-7, 20$
Watase Yuu, Ceres, Viz, English, 1-14, 40$
Watase Yuu, Fushigi Yugi Gaiden (light novels), Palette, Japanese, 1, 3-8, 5$ Light Novels
Yamada Nari, Ai no Shintairiku, Margaret, Japanese, 1, 1$
Yazawa Ai, Paradise Kiss, Tokyopop, English, 1-5, 50$, sale pending
Yuki Kaori, Fairy Cube, Viz, English, 1-3, 10$, sale pending
Yuki Kaori, Grand Guignol Orchestra, Viz, English, 1-5, 15$, sales pending
Genso Suikoden Brunch (gag comic), Asuka, Japanese, 1, 1$

Before going into it, I want to mention how this post was inspired by three things. One was user u/HastyvonFuego2 and their post on going down the rabbit hole on the Kendrick sub last week. It was also inspired by Childish Gambino’s first album release in nearly 6 years where I have been sitting on this idea for a while but he inspired me to finally post this week like he did (never posted on Reddit at all before so be gentle if I am not doing it right)! I was also inspired by an interview Bino gave to GQ about breaking down his most iconic characters. In this interview he says how This is America started out as a Drake diss but then he realized the song was too hard for just Drake so he kept working on it. He also talks in this interview about how all culture is about compression. Which means that yes, This is America is about the gun violence and police issues in America, but compressed in this video is also more about where that culture comes from which he shows is from a small handful of rap moguls, namely Drake, Diddy and Jay-Z (bear with me on this long post, I think/hope it will be worth it). At the end I talk briefly about how Little Foot Big Foot might be in this same vein of cultural compression.
[Intro: Choir]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go away
The beginning of this song has no background music yet, which really gives it an ‘in the beginning’ feel. Then Gambino starts doing his dances with weird facial expressions. I will explain as we go through his video how those expressions and dance moves represent different famous rap moguls. One easy look to pick out right away is Jay-Z’s famous lip curl/growl look that Gambino gives with a head nod repeatedly. The colonial pants have been a hot topic, but since it’s only the pants that are colonial, Gambino is saying the bottom or basis for this violent culture in America is ultimately colonialism. The lyrics ‘Go Away’, are likely foreshadowing the rap moguls wanting other popular rap rivals to ‘go away’ or they will make them (aka murder them) for profit.
[Bridge: Childish Gambino & Young Thug]
We just wanna party
Party just for you
We just want the money
Money just for you (Yeah)
Usually you want money for yourself and to party for yourself, so this is a bit odd. But what Gambino is referring to is similar to these Diddy ‘freakoff parties’ we are hearing about where people who want to be famous are really partying for these rap moguls so they can get close to them. Where they suck up to them saying that they want to earn the mogul money from their songs.
I know you wanna party
Party just for free
Girl, you got me dancin' (Girl, you got me dancin')
Dance and shake the frame (Yeah)
Then this almost feels like the Diddy rebuttal where he’s like ya I know you want to party and you want to do it for free. Like Katt Williams says, “you gotta tell Diddy no”, it is never free to go to those parties. There are always consequences. When you are partying you are dancing, but shaking the frame could refer to how those boundaries/edges are being crossed, lines are blurred, etc.
Then in the video, the fellow who was playing the guitar gets shot and things turn dark from happy music. I believe that this guitar tune is meant to represent 2Pac and Nas’s song Thugz Mansion. It’s one of the original greats from ‘in the beginning’. Nas famously has always had major issues with Jay-Z too (More on why 2Pac and Nas later). It also represents how it was these moguls who murdered 2Pac like Jaguar Wright and Katt Williams keep saying. Where these murders only lead to more money and fame for the killers when the dead artists’ and their music are exploited more easily.
Also note that the gun gets taken away by a school kid after the shooting, more on this later as well.
[Verse 1: Childish Gambino, Young Thug, Blocboy JB & 21 Savage]
This is America (Skrrt, skrrt, woo)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Ayy)
Look how I'm livin' now
Police be trippin' now (Woo)
Yeah, this is America (Woo, ayy)
Guns in my area (Word, my area)
There is a song called Guns in My Area by Lil Weiner and Baby Chapox that paints a vivid picture of the everyday struggles and conflicts faced by those living in communities affected by gun violence. More compression of other songs and the American gun culture.
I got the strap (Ayy, ayy)
I gotta carry 'em
I am almost certain this line is referring to 2Pac’s song Changes. Throughout This is America, Gambino takes lines from Pac’s song: “They get jealous when they see you with your mobile phone” (referred to later in this a Celly, that’s tool) “That's the sound of my tool, you say it ain't cool, My mama didn't raise no fool”
“And as long as I stay black, I gotta stay strapped, And I never get to lay back” It seems like Gambino broke up these lyrics and scattered them throughout his song. This plays into the theme that everyone is using 2Pac and enriching themselves off of his image and music. I show below how this particular section of the video represents Diddy meaning that Diddy himself is exploiting his music (and alleging that Diddy killed Pac?). We could see this exploitation play out at length with how much Diddy milked the death of Biggie like in Every Breath You Take.
Yeah, yeah, I'ma go into this (Ugh)
Yeah, yeah, this is guerilla (Woo)
Yeah, yeah, I'ma go get the bag
The song Gorilla War by $uicideboy$ and Ramirez talks about getting a bag repeatedly in the course. Also in Otis with Kanye and Jay-Z their lyrics talk about going gorilla (I talk about this song more further down), so it could be referring to this as well. It seems like Gambino is trying to pull out lyrics from all across the rap culture and embed them in his song to highlight the ‘cultural compression’.
Yeah, yeah, I'm so cold like, yeah (Yeah)
I'm so dope like, yeah (Woo)
We gon' blow like, yeah (Straight up, uh)
I think that all of the school kids in the video represent all of the rappers that are signed with these big labels. Which is interesting because they are the ones facilitating the guns for the moguls in the video. You can see that the mogul is really focused on the kids and gets agitated and directs them to follow him whenever they stray off a bit like they are his pupils, or like he owns them. Then all of a sudden the camera comes into a scene where you can see more kids shooting a rap video and all shooting money from a Supreme gun. The camera zooms out almost to show you that this is the mogul’s whole rap empire they are looking over, all of their kids in one place (this empire already includes some chaos in the background). It’s subtle but hilarious, Gambino puts fricken chickens on the ground where the kids are filming the rap video. He is directly calling all of these rappers complete chickens for playing up this lifestyle and being the cause of so much chaos rather than coming out and telling somebody what’s really going on. Trying to get their money over everything else.
[Refrain: Choir & Childish Gambino]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody
You go tell somebody
Grandma told me
Get your money, Black man (Get your— Black man)
This is where things start to get interesting. Gambino is literally saying, go tell somebody about this! We all know what’s happening, why don’t you go let people know how bad it is? But like Jaguar Wright said, who do you tell when these moguls have the cops and feds paid off? This video is literally Gambino putting it all out there in this extremely popular song for everyone to see but yet we still just see the dancing and the violent chaos of people and police in the streets and not the root cause that is hidden in plain sight.
The vast majority of those who reviewed this video until now think this scene represents the tragic church shooting in Charleston in 2015. I think it does, but we also have to look at this from an angle of compression.
The people in the choir are all of the people who are currently singing the rap mogul’s praises and who are focused on going and getting what’s owed to them, get their money (who are also profiting off of the dead fellows music since it goes back to the original tune). You can see that each choir member has a distinct look to them. Think about who you are hearing about now who is about to be implicated in these freak offs and evil deeds. Is that Will Smith in the back left corner!? The short bald fellow in the front left maybe Kevin Hart? Rick Ross or TD Jakes maybe the bigger guy towards the back right? When the camera zooms in on the choir right at first to show their faces, doesn’t the guy in the bottom middle look like an uncanny version of Jordan Peele? Or is that meant to be Cuba Gooding Jr? Then just like the guitar fellow at the beginning, bang. You may be singing Diddy’s praises now, but he will cut you down whenever he suddenly feels like it.
I think almost for sure this initial section of the music video is Gambino acting as Diddy, because right after he shoots the choir, he does the elbow pump/chicken dance. At 3:14 in Diddy’s video for P.E. 2000 he does the chicken dance (he is up first in the video and I think Gambino is trying to say here I first present to you the first public enemy of 3 in this song). That elbow dance signals that it was Diddy and this is the end of his section.
[Chorus: Childish Gambino, Young Thug, Slim Jxmmi & Quavo]
This is America (Woo, ayy)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Woo, woo, don't catch you slippin' now)
Don't catch you slippin' now (Ayy, woah)
Look what I'm whippin' now (Slime!)
There have been many accounts of celebrities being given fancy cars after suffering abuse at the hands of these moguls. So these lyrics are saying that you better not slip up and tell people what’s really going on. And if you don’t look at this sweet carecord deal/movie contract I am going to give you. Beiber told this story about Diddy wanting to give him a luxury car.
Now suddenly, the dance switches from the chicken dance to a sudden bicep flex to signal us that we have now moved on from Gambino representing Diddy to our next mogul.
[Verse 2: Childish Gambino, Quavo, Young Thug, 21 Savage & BlocBoy JB]
This next chunk of the video is all about Jay-Z. I think this is the case because he throws his arms up in a bicep flex just like Jay does in the Otis music video at 2:38. And it makes sense Gambino would pick a dance move from a video with a huge American flag in the background to fit the ‘This is America’ theme. Gambino is mocking him saying, who are you really, the pretty guy or this hard gangster like Gambino shows in his dancing. Also right before they pan to the kids on the balcony, Bino also does Jay-Z’s signature lip curl look a couple times so we know it’s him and to signal the end of his section.
Look how I'm geekin' out (Hey)
I'm so fitted (I'm so fitted, woo)
Jay-Z is famous for making the fitted Yankees cap famous, it’s his signature look. More signs this verse is about Jay.
I'm on Gucci (I'm on Gucci)
Jay-Z has been seen in full wallpaper Gucci sweat suits but could also be referring to Gucci Mane who he hung out with at Beyonce’s tour around the time this song was released.
I'm so pretty (Yeah, yeah, woo)
I'm gon' get it (Ayy, I'm gon' get it)
Watch me move (Blaow)
These lines are probably referring to Jay-Z having a hidden preference for men, especially with the way Gambino flicks his wrist in the video when he says I’m so pretty.
This a celly (Ha)
That's a tool (Yeah)
On my Kodak (Woo) Black
I think that “this a celly, that’s a tool” harkens back to 2Pac’s lyrics in Changes where he sings, “They get jealous when they see ya with your mobile phone” then shortly after that he sings about the sound of his tool, referring to shooting a gun. But Childish flips these lyrics on their head. He is saying that it’s really the phone that’s a tool to be using, not a gun. And pans up and shows (the school kids specifically) on the balcony filming everything going on below. He’s telling the kids/other rappers, use your phone as a tool, you can record these bad deeds when you get blackmailed into being at the freak off. That’s how you can kill them and their career, not with a gun. Go tell somebody! There is also the reference to Kodak which plays into the picture taking theme, but also because Kodak Black has been accused of assaulting a teenage girl in a hotel room. So we have a good idea of what Gambino suggests all the kids start filming and collecting evidence of.
Ooh, know that (Yeah, know that, hold on)
Get it (Woo, get it, get it)
Ooh, work it (21)
Now we are onto Drake’s part. In the video Gambino starts doing the BlocBoy JB dance called Shoot. Drake is known for doing these little viral dance moves like in Hotline Bling. But not only that, this dance is also used in the song that both BlocBoy JB and Drake collaborate on for their video Look Alive. It starts at 2:07 in the Look Alive video. So this is Drake’s dance to signal his part is now starting.
Note this is where the pale horse rides by also potentially saying that Drake is one of the horsemen of the apocalypse. Interestingly, Drake’s collab with BlocBoy JB was pretty much the apocalypse for BlocBoy’s career, who hasn’t had a hit since.
Hunnid bands, hunnid bands, hunnid bands (Hunnid bands)
Contraband, contraband, contraband (Contraband)
I got the plug in Oaxaca (Woah)
They gonna find you like "blocka" (Blaow)
Again, we know this is Drake’s section because his song 10 bands starts out by saying “10 bands, 50 bands, 100 bands” almost identical to Bino’s lyrics here. Also Blocka was famously used by Biggie in his song Gimme the Loot which could be referring to Biggie's demise like Pac’s and making money from his death. Everything in this industry originates from pushing drugs, which has been alleged through the trafficking that Diddy, Jay-Z and Drake do through their private jets likely connected to their bosses, the Clive Davises and Lucian Grainges of the world. This escalates rap beefs and the whole culture to the next level where murder is often a consequence for young rappers in their prime when international drug lord money is involved.
An interesting point is this is the only time where Childish was about to shoot someone in the video, but where he didn’t have a school kid either handing him the gun or taking it away carefully from him. (Maybe also a diss at Drake that even though he acts hard he doesn’t shoot, he gets his horseman of the apocalypse to do his dirty deeds for him instead perhaps?). This is the beginning of the end for the rap mogul as he no longer has his kids doing his bidding for him. A simple message to show how the violence can be stopped, that these shootings can end when the kids stop enabling them. So then as soon as he can’t react in that moment and shoot someone his anger is forced to chill out, as shown by smoking a J, and to go back to exploiting the dead man’s music instead. If you don’t put a gun in someone’s hand when they are heated, those feelings too shall pass - kinda feel.
[Refrain: Choir, Childish Gambino, & Young Thug]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, tell somebody
America, I just checked my following list, and
You mothafuckas owe me
Whose voice does that sound like!? It sounds a lot like Diddy to me, public enemy #1. This is basically saying that the moguls are the ones who we all owe it to for all of this glorified gun violence in America. That we owe them way more follows and likes for what a massive influence they have had on the violence and chaos we see in America today.
Grandma told me
Get your money, Black man (Black man)
(1, 2, 3—get down)
In Moneybagg Yo’s song 1, 2, 3, he also has a line that says “1, 2, 3, let’s go!” in a similar vein.
But something interesting I came across was Nas’s song Get Down where they use a sample from James Brown's “The Boss” that sounds extremely similar to the way Gambino screams “Get Down!” Which would fit well if the guitar singer from the beginning is meant to be Nas and Pac doing Thugz Mansion.
Also make sure you check out Nas’s song Get Down so that you can hear how much Jay-Z outright copied this song for The Story of OJ. From the musical structure with the piano and interwoven samples right down to the theme reiterated by the sample at the end of Nas’s song: “If that’s how our people are gonna get down, how are we ever gonna get up?”
SZA
Finally to wrap up the video, I have been stumped for a long time as to why SZA is randomly at the end of this video sitting on one of the cars. But I think I finally know why and it reconfirms that this last scene is all about Drake. If you watch Drake’s music video for Worst Behavior (not very Canadian of him to spell behaviour that way I might add) you will see Drake rapping and dancing with a few cars surrounding him and one of those cars has other rappers making cameos in it. In Gambino’s video SZA represents that car with a famous cameo. I think this is further confirmed when the black edges of the video start closing inwards at the end of This is America, the exact same way that Worst Behavior ends. So why SZA as the cameo then? Cause it reminds people that Drake is a p*do.
This is from an article in the Rolling Stone: In 2020, Drake revealed publicly that he and SZA had dated over a decade ago, well before she was an established artist (her earliest music goes back to around 2012; her critical breakthrough, Ctrl, came in 2017). On 21 Savage’s “Mr. Right Now,” Drake rapped about a newer fling who was a fan of SZA’s: “Yeah, said she wanna fuck to some SZA, wait / ‘Cause I used to date SZA back in ’08 / If you cool with it, baby, she can still play.” A few days later, SZA responded, corroborating Drake’s claim with a slight correction: they dated in 2009, when both would have been over 18. Since SZA would not have turned 18 until late 2008, she wanted to set the record straight. “in this case a year of poetic rap license mattered 🥴lol I think he jus innocently rhymed 08 w wait [sic],” she tweeted. “I just didn’t want anybody thinking anything underage or creepy was happening . Completely innocent . Lifetimes ago . [sic]”
If you have to specifically say something isn’t creepy and distance yourself from it being lifetimes ago, it usually is creepy. Drake would’ve been 22 when she was 17. Metro Boomin also happens to be on the Mr. Right Now track. He is currently in trouble for resurfaced old tweets showing how Metro used to tweet disgusting things about what he wanted to do to underage girls. Interestingly, Metro Boomin is also now beefing with Drake.
Drake doing his dance on the car of the original musician’s music seems to be accusing Drake directly of stealing 2Pac’s music. Orlando Brown recently said the cryptic statement that “Drake is Pac” which likely means he stole 2Pac’s approach/style/audience after his death. Gambino did some good foreshadowing here too with the recent AI release Drake put out of 2Pac.
This dance scene also signals that the Drake section is now over.
[Outro: Young Thug]
You just a black man in this world
You just a barcode, ayy
You just a black man in this world
Drivin' expensive foreigns, ayy
You just a big dawg, yeah
I kenneled him in the backyard
No, probably ain't life to a dog
For a big dog
The outro lyrics speak to how these gatekeepers keep black men down and control them with things like being forced to wear a dress to become famous or to submit to homosexual/p*do acts.. In the video, as I mentioned above, the black edges close in on Drake’s dancing scene in This is America. But they don’t completely close and end things like they do in the Worst Behavior video. Instead, in Gambino’s video, the camera pans to show the mogul running for his life with Young Thug’s lyrics almost like a quiet echo in the background. He isn’t running from the cops though, he’s running from the kids and from the public. When I mentioned earlier that the kids not handing over the last gun before Drake’s scene signalled the beginning of the end for the moguls, this is that conclusion. Where it is showing that if all the kids come together to stop enabling and rather expose the moguls, people will be chasing these bastards down once we realize what has been going on behind the curtain. Then the song that Young Thug is singing can just be a quiet echo of the way things were in the past.
If you don’t think Gambino would be this deep and that I went too far down the rabbit hole, do a Google search on the calculations that he came up with for why he sings about loving until 3005 in his song. He seems to go real deep with his lyrics. So a big question this leaves us with is, what did Childish Gambino witness in the rap industry? His whole rap career plays out like he is trying to avoid industry norms.
Even in Sweatpants, he has lyrics like:
No hands like soccer teams and y'all fuck boys like Socrates
You niggas ain't coppin' these, niggas ain't lookin' like me (Nah)
Nah, I ain't checkin' I.D. (Nah), but I bounce 'em with no problem
Seems like he is trying to make it really clear across his catalogue of music that he isn’t a p*do but that other rappers are. Where he is saying that he doesn’t need to ID his potential partners because he can tell they are obviously too young and that’s not hard to do.
Tell 'em, Problem (Problem!)
I'm winnin', yeah, yeah, I'm winnin' (What?)...
Rich kid, asshole, paint me as a villain
So who was trying to paint him as a villain, Drake? And that’s why the diss was originally meant for him?
Don't be mad 'cause I'm doing me better than you doing you…
Better than you doing you
Fuck it, what you gon' do? (What?!)
He’s taunting the other rappers cause he knows they can’t say shit if they are creeps. He has the same sentiment in Bonfire “It’s a bonfire, turn the lights out, I’m burning everything you mother fuckers talk about.”
Childish Gambino has always refrained from talking about the meaning of This is America whenever he is asked, and I can only assume that all of this is why.
Little Foot Big Foot
Now with his new release, Little Foot Big Foot and applying cultural compression to it, it has me wondering if he is referring to Megan Thee Stallion and the Nicki beef? People like Nicki (calling Megan Big Foot) have been claiming for some time she wasn’t even shot in the foot by Tory Lanez. There were many people laughing and making fun of Megan over getting shot. Which could be an interesting story for Childish to tell to represent how crazy this violent culture has gotten that people just laugh and blame the victim now when you get shot. Also a good metaphor for things like ‘shooting yourself in the foot’ for not having a lawyer look over potentially predatory industry contracts like in the beginning of his video. That you want to get in the cool kids club so bad you overlook it. Not as sure on this one though since the song just came out and I have only heard it a few times.
One last thing that is really interesting, there have been tons of artists on podcasts like Shay Shay talking about the strings these ultra rich moguls can pull. Like buying awards or gatekeeping people from being in the industry at all. There was even a story, I think maybe it was Gene Deal who told it, that when Killer Mike won at the grammys that Jay-Z was so angry he made sure to mess up his night by getting him locked up as soon as he left the awards stage. These moguls are extremely powerful and have an incredible amount of sway in the world/industry. If you check out Gambino’s profile on Youtube, his old music videos keep getting taken down, like Bonfire for example is just gone. Fans have been having to upload the videos themselves. There is a reply to a comment, on one of the fan uploaded vids, from Gambino’s account himself when someone asks why the videos are being taken down. His account just replies “Noone knows why :(“ Seems a bit odd all things considered and like maybe he has been at the mercy of these gatekeepers for going against the system.
I am so curious to know what the rest of you think about all of this!

hi everyone bit of a long one but I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on here about DHEA-S levels, wanted to share my own story to hopefully help anyone feeling a bit hopeless.
During quarantine I didn’t take care of my body and health, and between 2020-2023 gained a lot of weight from eating terrible food most of the time (takeaways, high sugar, etc.). Around the start of 2023 I started noticing excessive hair growth on my chin and upper lip, hair loss around my forehead, and irregular periods. The absolute worst though was sudden bouts of anxiety and panic attacks anytime I went out. I would step out of my house or into a restaurant/uber etc and immediately feel all the symptoms of high blood pressure like being dizzy/disoriented, sweaty, my heart would be pounding heavy and fast, my throat would feel tight, dry mouth - generally I would feel so afraid and like I needed to sit down immediately and lean against a wall or I would faint (never happened thankfully). Ended up in the ER twice for bad episodes that lasted hours.
I went to nephrologists, gynaecologists, and endocrinologists. Cortisol and testosterone levels were normal, so PCOS was doubted because I also didn’t have mini cysts on my ultrasounds - my panels would come back normal time and time again except for b12 and vit D deficiencies as well as extremely high DHEAS levels of 795 (I believe the maximum for the normal range is 330 or something). Adrenal tumour was ruled out with a CT scan. No one offered an explanation for the DHEAS levels and I was told I just have plain old anxiety - despite me insisting these symptoms started extremely randomly and only recently. Other symptoms I experienced at the same time were gastric related - acid reflux, difficulty swallowing, and irritable bowels which was just annoying on top of everything.
I went to a naturopath who finally addressed all my issues and I can say I haven’t experienced one of those horrible debilitating panic attacks in almost a year now. My DHEAS levels are measuring at around 400 now which is still slightly above normal but better than 795 for sure. My periods are regular and painless and I don’t have as much facial hair. I’ve also lost 24kg in less than a year as a side benefit. Here are some of the things I did to bring my life back to normal.

1. Fix my gut health. By far the most important. I started taking pre and probiotics (either supplements or natural food sources). I cut out sugar and caffeine and started eating less carbs and more healthy fats (avocados), fibre (flaxseeds, veg), and protein.
   
2. Insulin resistance. There’s a couple things I did to address my insulin resistance. I cut out high glycemic index foods, completely cut out oat milk and rice, and started intermittent fasting. I would add cinnamon powder, ACV, and turmeric powder to meals or drinks here and there. I also took myo-inositol powder in water with meals but I would recommend speaking to your doctor first before starting. My fasting blood sugar levels averaged at around 6.2 this time last year and now measure at around 4.3 in the mornings.
   
3. Ashwagandha. Lifesaver. I was instructed to boil a bit of liquorice powder and ashwagandha powder in water and drink it every night (please consult first with a health professional to see if this would be an option for you). When I’m lazy I take an ashwagandha gummy, bonus points if it has a blend with l-theanine or GABA as these have calming properties. I would also recommend drinking spearmint tea if you’re taking ashwagandha as it lowers androgen levels and reduces facial hair growth.
   
4. Vitamin deficiencies. I started taking b12, magnesium glycinate and d3. It’s a good idea to get a blood panel to see what you’re lacking and address it either with supplements or diet changes.
   
5. Preparing before going out. At the time I was still experiencing the panic attacks I would always make sure to carry a water bottle, either a banana or electrolyte sachets/tablets, sour candy, and a mini eucalyptus essential oil bottle (smelling it calms you down) in my bag. I don’t need any of that anymore but if you’re still going through this these would be my tips!
   
6. Lifestyle changes. Basic things like sleeping early and decent hours, taking it easy give yourself some rest and breathing time. I don’t go to the gym or do regular breathing exercises but I know they can help so I’m gonna start.
   

Sorry for the long post but I hope this can help even one person who might be going through the same thing I was last year. Was in a horrible place and thankful to feel so much better now.

Hey everyone. First time poster, and FTM to my 7 week old. Backstory: We've had issues with breastfeeding from the start, with hospital staff not notifying me that they wanted me breastfeeding within the first hour of her being born (as I was told that was her best chance of getting any colostrum). We had difficulty with latching and positioning, and I were not able to see a lactation consultant until the next day. I was only able to pump about 0.3 mLs of colostrum (the pump the hospital provided me with did not have flanges that fit my breasts well, so it was a painful and frustrating experience). The first night that we had our daughter and attempted to feed her, obviously she was unable to eat, but some of the hospital staff let me know that feeding formula was "not in her best interest", but finally relented when I was adamant that I was unable to feed her from my breast. I saw a lactation consultant twice while I was there, and she was able to help me get my daughter to latch about 2 or 3 times, but the first night we brought our daughter home it was a different story. She was completely unable to latch and she spent most of the night screaming and hunger, as the hospital had really pushed breastfeeding and we had no extra formula to supplement. Her and I both spent the majority of the night crying, with my husband trying to console both of us, and I was dressed and at the front of Walmart at 6:00 a.m. to buy formula and fly home so that she could be fed. I don't know if I had ever felt like more of a failure than in those moments.
I saw a lactation consultant again outpatient a few days later, and she was able to provide me with a pump through insurance. Since that time I was pumping as regularly as I could but was never able to keep up with my daughter's needs. Still, I was happy to be giving her breast milk.
Cut to current time, and my daughter has had a plethora of issues since coming home, including developing terrible colic that would leave her bloated and unable to pass gas effectively, but also with terrible diarrhea with fits of screaming for eight or nine hours a night. The pediatrician and lactation consultant weren't really able to give us straight answers other than attempting to modify my diet as there could have been something in my diet upsetting her. We switched to a gentle formula and I cut out my breast milk completely for the time until I could modify my diet. There was improvement for a day or two, but once again a gradual decline back to the point of nights of no sleep for either my husband or I and her sobbing inconsolably from stomach pain.
We have come all the way to switching to Nutramigen as we're still not sure whether it's lactose intolerance or a milk allergy, but either way we were wit's end and we hoped that this would be a good solution for us. So far, it has been. The first night that we tried her on the formula she actually slept for three consecutive 4-hour stretches between feedings. It's going to take roughly 2 weeks to work the other formula out of her system, but this is honestly the best she's ever done.
All that being said, I've made the decision to stop giving her breast milk. I don't want to put her through continued gastrointestinal pain while I work out what could potentially be in my diet that would be upsetting her. I also can't reasonably cut dairy, eggs, soy, gluten and whatever other allergen out of my diet for various reasons. On top of that I never really have adequate time to pump on a regular schedule, and when I do I feel a sense of depression when I pump (Dysphoric milk ejection reflex, or D-MER).
My husband and I have listed off so many reasons why it would overall be beneficial to switch strictly to the formula, but I just can't seem to get over this sense that I'm being selfish and not trying to do every single thing possible to help my baby. I understand that a good majority of it is just my instinctive brain trying to do what it can to convince me to feed my baby what it feels is necessary. The other part of it is just my overall internalization of guilt throughout the entirety of my life (I recently started IC for this and related issues).
Is there anyone who has any advice on how they had gotten over the same issues? Do you guys regret switching to formula? For anyone who fed formula since day one, do you ever wonder if breast milk would have been better? TIA for any responses.
Tldr; I'm having heavy duty mom guilt for making the decision to switch strictly to formula. Anyone been through the same thing and have advice that you think could help?

I’ve been scratching my head at this for days and it’s been driving me mad. They’ve been making Dragonball games since 1986, and as we all know dragon ball has near of the most video games of any anime franchise, it’s insane how much these games have been milked, from the best to the worst of outcomes. But I can’t think of a single game with Bulma in it for anything more than cutscenes! She’s literally the second character ever introduced in the franchise?!?! It literally started as Goku and Bulma’s story? And we’ve seen plenty of gag characters over the years, and games like Budokai 3 and xenoverse which tried to push their playable rosters to the very limit. Am I wrong? If so PLEASE tell me what game she appears in, cuz I’m actually going to lose my mind.
Fingers crossed for Bulma in sparking zero, she deserves to be in at least one game

Last night, someone on here made a post asking us what Dropouts opinion are we would defend 1M vs. one. My answer was that no matter how great the podcast is now, nothing will top the dynamic of the original trio. That discussion gave me an idea.
For some who may be new to Dropouts, I figured I would take a dive into “the lore” (as the kids say these days) to help explain some nostalgic pieces of the podcast you may or may not been here for. The best way to do that is talk about original running gags. Some of these are more known than others, some you may have forgot about, and some you may not remember.
But as someone who has watched from the very beginning, here are my top 6 Dropouts running gags of all time.
#6 - Indiana’s “fake” accent
This gag was fueled by social media comments that always wondered about the inconsistency of Indiana’s Australian accent. But it eventually became one of the more iconic jokes of the podcast. It seems stupid but for whatever reason, we always thought it was pretty funny when Indiana was called out her accent dropping out or coming back. With Zach constantly mimicking her sometimes-thick Australian accent whenever there’s a noticeable difference in annunciation. It was quite simple but genius. Turning a common misconception into a deadpan gag that still leaves people wondering to this day. Is Indiana from Australia? Yes. Does her accent come and go making it very confusing for a majority of viewers? Also, yes.
#5 - Swag-daddies
Who remembers this VERY old one? This gag was part of what each of the trio would call their individual teams/fanbases. Swag-daddies was the original name for team Zach in the very beginning. No one really knew what it meant, why it worked, or where it came from. But it stuck for a while and somehow perfectly displayed the embodiment of Zach’s presence. Memeable, out of pocket, and backhandedly crass. If I had to guess, I would say it’s kind of an ironic-undertone to mock the “TikTok fuckboy” population that was pretty relevant at the time. Although Zach’s online persona can be very polarizing on the internet, the OG fans would jokingly justify his antics as “just being a swag-daddy.” A much simpler time when Zach’s verbal antics were publicly seen as satire and nothing else.
#4 - Team Whole Milk
Swag-daddies was Team Zach, but this team name was by far the best. Team Whole Milk was the original name for team Jared in the beginning. In early episodes, Jared would open up about struggles with his weight as a kid. Which Jared would refer to this chapter of his life as ‘F.J.’ or ‘Fat Jared’. He shortly after revealed that as a kid that he would drink multiple glasses of whole milk every single day, believing it was healthy. For those who don’t know, it’s exact opposite. Either way, team Whole Milk was born. Representing Jared fairly well. The happy-go-lucky underdog with a wholesome and positive energy.
#3 - The Ketchup Bottle
This one is a bit controversial because of the behind-the-camera details we know now, but it’s still an iconic part of the podcast that needs to be mentioned. For the new fans of the podcast, next time you’re watching, make sure to look for the Ketchup and Mustard bottles that are now catty-cornered in between Zach and Tara these days. The history of those two inanimate objects is a lot deeper than you might think. For those of you that don’t know about the first recording set, it was originally supposed be for a show called “Zach’s Diner”. Where Zach would have guests on in a Nickelodeon-metaverse feel of Zach Galifianakis’ “Between Two Ferns”. In original diner set, between to the shiny red booths, were subway-style themed Ketchup and Mustard bottles, that would eventually be part of the Dropouts set. And still are to this day. The originated gag went like this. Whenever Zach pissed off Indiana, she would pick up the Ketchup bottle, and throw it at Zach as hard as she could. Missing him 99.9% of the time. This bit/gag was harmlessly funny at the beginning until we found out there was more darker story to it. I’m just glad Indiana has grown so much since then and really took the time to learn from her actions. It sucks that this iconic gag was a falling out example of the original trio. But it’s still huge part of the Dropouts Podcast lore. And it shouldn’t be forgotten.
#2 - The Beach
What happened at the beach? I’m asking because we still… really… don’t know. In an early episode of Dropouts, the trio had a psychic on as a guest to give them all readings. Whether you believe in it or not, the psychic went on to ask Zach and Indiana: “what’s the deal with the beach?” Prompting Indiana and Jared to freak out and run off the set. The comments blew up after this and the speculation of what this was about caught fire. In the following episode, the trio took notice of the fans reactions. Then challenged them to give the video version of the episode 20K likes and they’ll tell the story of what happened at the beach. To this day, this episode only has around 11K likes on YouTube and the story has still not been told. Even though hints were dropped over later episodes, sidetrack jokes were made, no one on the internet ACTUALLY knows what happened at the beach. And with this episode being 4+ years old, we most likely will never know. As far as we’re concerned, it will be locked away in the Dropouts vault forever.
#1 - The Snickers wrapper story
I’m pretty sure everyone who watches the podcast now or started watching from the beginning knows this one. The Snickers wrapper story is not only the most bizarre story told on the podcast but also a running gag that will probably contest the will of time. The origin of this story goes like this. In an early Valentine’s themed episode, Indiana asks Zach and Jared what was the weirdest thing they ever used as a condom. After Zach’s quick-witted answer of “prayer” (which is btw one of Zach’s funniest jokes on the podcast to this day), Jared revealed that he once used a king sized Snickers wrapper as a condom. It’s pretty safe to say that Jared regrets telling this story as the references to it are still made 200+ episodes later. Just know that as funny or as bizarre this story is, it goes back multiple years of episodes. And I don’t think it will ever get old. Making it an easy decision for the #1 Dropouts running gag of all time.
Now of course, every list has to have some honorable mentions:
HM1 - What’s up B-Words HM2 - Zach hitting on Indiana’s mom HM3 - Jared’s two moms/CB270 HM4 - Zach’s estranged father HM5 - Only Indiana gets censored HM6 - Sad-boy mic
I’d be also happy to explain any of the honorable mentions to anyone who wants the backstory on those as well.
Let me know what you guys think of this top 6. Thanks for reading if you made it this far lol.

Please help
Need some guidance from parents who have been here… little guy is 5 weeks old (2 weeks old adjusted as he came 3 weeks early).
In the hospital we started him on similac 360 total care rtf paired with breastfeeding. My supply didn’t come in for a week so he was getting minimal breast milk. At that time we did about 80/20- formula breast milk. We started to notice a lot of tummy troubles or what seem to be tummy troubles (red face, straining, grunting) with digesting when pooping or passing gas so we thought a more gentle formula would be better. I stopped breast-feeding completely at that time and we switched him to Enfamil gentle ease. He seemed to have significant problems on that formula as well and also started spitting up a lot. Talked to his pediatrician she recommended looking into alternatives one of which was Gerber good start sooth.
We started him on Friday morning so now we are on day four and his spit up is worse and he has vomited on that twice..like ALL the milk he just drank came up.. not sure if he was over eating … It also came out of his nose and a lot came out, seemed to be at least an ounce or two. I’m not sure what to do now. He still seems to be straining when passing gas or pooping. I don’t want to keep switching him.. I’ve researched alot and I thought that the gerber good start soothe would be good as it is 100% whey and has pre and pro biotic.
I’m not sure if he has a CMPA or what is going on but he still seems like he’s having a very hard time pooping. He is now (past few days) a lot fussier than normal. Could it be gerd? Is he eating more to sooth his throat? He poops about once a day.
Any advice?! It’s breaking my heart to see him cry and be in pain and the vomit (not just spit up) is concerning. I have called Dr and waiting for call back.
Does this sound like anyone else’s story? Or does anyone have any thoughts?? We keep him upright when feeding and are gentle with burps which we do about every half ounce.
Thanks in advance from a new frazzled mom. 💕

For context: we have two kids age 8 and 5.
Just back from 10 nights at POFQ, our first ever Disney trip. Overall really liked the hotel, it's a shame they had a pipe burst in their swimming pool and it was being repaired for most of our stay, but it was still a really nice place. Swimming pool at Riverside was only a 10 min walk away.
I had a good outline of our itinerary for the whole stay written up before we left with plenty of ADRs , however what we actually did was quite different.
Wrote up as much as I could remember, the exact order of events in particular is a bit muddy but I did my best.
Day 1: Arrive in the early evening, went to the pool, had inner in the food hall, went to bed.
Day 2: Genie + at Magic Kingdom. Totally screwed up EE that day because the park opened at 8am that day which caught me off guard, but aside from not rope-dropping Seven Dwarves as planned, we still got SO much done that day.
Arrived at 8am park opening.
Jungle Cruise
Big Thunder Mountain x 2
Pirates of the Carribbean
Ariel
Barnstormer x 2
Dumbo
Genie + Peter Pan
Laugh Floor
Genie + Buzz Lightyear
Peoplemover
Cosmic Rays for lunch, chosen for it's close proximity and indoor tables. Fine but extremely boring.
Genie + Space Mountain/Speedway (in two parts since my youngest didn't go on it, I took both my kids to speedway while my husband had his turn)
Big Thunder again
Small World (but son needed toilet in queue so we left and husband and daughter stayed)
Then we went back into Smallworld while daughter and husband did Barnstormer again.
Genie + Winnie the Pooh.
Dinner at Skipper Canteen - so good!
We also watched the parade that day but it was sooo hot, we opted for a poorer view from a main street shop in the shade. Was not worth sticking out the heat for the length of time you would need to get an optimal view. I think trying to go our very first day was a mistake because we weren't acclimatised at all yet.
The longest queue we had that day was probably for Smallworld. Everything moved really quickly! Was also happy with Genie+.
Day 2: Animal Kingdom
Had entry issues and needed cards re-assigned at entry so kinda messed up FOP EE rope drop but husband and daughter persevered anyway. Son and I did Na'vi River and explored Pandora and stared Wilderness Explorers. Spent a LOT of time in Pandora gift shop.
Gorilla Trek
Wildlife Express and Rafiki's Planet Watch.
Festival of the Lion King (so good!)
It's Tough to be a Bug
Triceratops Spin
Had really nice homey feeling cookie and gigantic ice cream in Dinoland
Dinosaur (3 of us loved this ride, my son thought it was a bit too scary also it seemed like they should increase the height requirement because he could barely reach the bar to brace himself. I know it's being discontinued though.)
Safari
Dinner at hotel.
Day 3: Hollywood Studios
Successful EE rope drop for Rise of the Resistance
Smuggler's Run
Met Donald Duck
Met Goofy and Max
Star Tours
Runaway Railway (queue was brutal in the sun but it was a great ride)
Indiana Jones Show
Star Tours again
Muppets 3d
Race Academy - did not know what to expect coming in. If we had known we would not have trekked all the way across the park in the heat for that. My son DID like it, but it really didn't feel like it was the same quality as any of the other shows or rides.
Went back to Galaxy's edge for Blue and Green milk + puffbread. All really good. We possibly did Star Tour again, I don't remember haha.
The wait times for everything else being very long + the heat had us going back to the hotel early.
Dinner at hotel.
Day 4: Magic Kingdom Day 2
Tried to EE rope drop 7 dwarves but it was down and we decided not to wait it out (rookie mistake)
Teacups
Thunder Mountain x 2
Split up and did Haunted Mansion/ Smallworld (and got stuck on Smallworld for like 15 minutes)
Haunted mansion crew did Carousel while waiting for us, then we did Carousel after.
Took Daughter to meet Pooh and Tigger while the others did Speedway + People Mover .
Pinocchio Haus for lunch somewhere in there, really good flatbread!
Back to hotel early for dinner.
Day 5: Genie + Epcot.
Failed to get Guardians Boarding at 7am.
EE Test Track
Mission Space (Green)
Genie + Remy
Genie + Soarin
Moana water walkthrough
Genie + Living with the Land
Got boarding for guardians for about 6pm. Cancelled ADR because of it.
Spaceship Earth
Met Moana
Genie + Nemo
Genie + Figment
Met Figment
Met Joy
Nemo again
Quick Dinner in Mexico
Gran Fiesta Tour (honestly had no idea this was here, really cool building, kids liked the boat ride)
Finally boarding group for guardians called at nearly 7pm.
Really great day! I seemed to be able to book really quickly back to back for Genie +. Kids really liked all the chill dark rides .
Wanted to do Frozen that day but the Genie+ was sold out even before lunch.
At this point we are really just trying to get things we missed
Day 6: Magic Kingdom Day 3
Successful EE rope drop of Seven Dwarves. Said 75 min wait when we entered but it really wasn't too bad, maybe 30-45. This ride had amazing theming, but was lacking as a coaster.
Teacups
Split up and 2 of us did astral orbiter that had a wait time of 25 minutes, and the other 2 did space mountain with a wait time of 35 minutes. Space mountain finished first!
Carousel
Swiss Family Treehouse
Enchanted Tiki Room
Magic Carpet - this seemed to be my son's favourite of this style ride. He's been talking about magic carpets evey day since.
We actually had a boarding time for Tron but the kids got fed up of the heat so we gave up and cancelled or place in the virtual queue.
Took the train back to the entrance. Very pleasant.
Dinner at hotel
Day 7
Epcot Day 2
We really wanted to do Cosmic Rewind again and do Frozen since we missed it the other day.
We failed to get a 7am boarding so bought an ILL for 11:30
EE rope drop at Frozen, which was down and they tried to get us to go elsewhere but it was open by about 8:45.
Gran Fiesta Tour
Met Asha
We were going to go do Soarin but we got distracted by a giant Joffrey's donut and a squirrel that was fun to watch, and then there was a minor child meltdown so we had a long break before heading to our ILL for Cosmic Rewind. Totally worth the cost.
I tried one last time to see if the kids would explore the World Showcase but they voted to go to the waterpark instead.
We went back to the hotel, then off to Typhoon Lagoon where 3/4 of us got minor scrapes in the wave pool, but kids loved it and would have gone back a second day.
Went back to Disney Springs and got dinner at Chicken Guy. Probably the best fast food I have ever had.
Day 8
Animal Kingdom Day 2
This was a lot of running around chasing short queues. Genie + would have been really good for us at this park.
EE rope drop Everest x 2. Was really good but going backwards made my stomach a bit iffy.
Na'vi River
Safari (finally saw an elephant!)
Nemo Show
Lion King Show again
Met Dug (first character my son was actually excited to meet)
Maharajah Jungle Trek
Back to Disney Springs for Dinner. Went to Pizza Ponte so we could all choose a different topping of pizza. Also walked around and heard live music before we left.
Took daughter to Happily Ever After fireworks that night. Stood above the railway station for a quick escape at the end.
Day 9
Last day :(
Genie + Hollywood Studios
Genie + didn't seem to work as well at this park, it seemed at Epcot I could always book after entering a ride and we used it a lot but at HS it seemed strictly 2 hours apart. Maybe I am just not seeing it clearly.
On reflection , next time I would probably do Slinky Dog at EE followed by Runaway Railway and buy an ILL for Rise and skip Genie + if I was looking to save some money. I would de-prioritise Toy Story Mania next time, but our first day we missed all of the Toy Story area.
EE rope drop Rise of the Resistance. Pretty sure we were on the ride before EE even officially started.
Smuggler's Run
Met The Mandalorian and Grogu (probably the best meet!)
Star Tours
Alien Flying Saucers
Droid Depot
Genie + Slinky dog
Beauty and the Beast show
Met Chewbacca
Met Pluto
Genie + Runaway Railway
Star Tours again
Genie + Toy Story Mania. Ride broke down while in queue. Waited for ages before the put us on the other side, almost missed our next booking.
Oga's Canteen. Tried 4 different non-alcoholic drinks and they were all good. It was super cool. Only downside is we had a high table (standing only) and my son couldn't see the top of the table/anything and he was pretty unimpressed by the whole situation. Flying Saucers Mama Melrose for dinner. Muppets 3d Fantasmic. I read 15 min early "at least" aimed for 30 minutes early, and the place was well more than half full by then. Took a really long time to leave. If there is a next time I would go much earlier and bring snacks just to make getting out easier. Overall I was hugely impressed with the level of detail in everything, and all the cast members were amazing. It was a really cool experience, and it's hard to imagine never going back. If there is a next time I really want to explore the world showcase and do more sit-down meals. We had a lot planned but the kids didn't have the stamina for being in the park all day so we cancelled almost all of them. We also ended up doing parks in a somewhat different order than I initially planned. Kids got really tired of travelling on buses, which is also why we didn't break in the middle of the day and then going back to the parks. Would look at skyliner options next time. Things we didn't get to do:
Try dole whip (never noticed a place to buy it, ice cream was often an urgent necessity so didn't seek it out specifically) Tron (too hot to wait for boarding group when it was already day 3 at magic Kingdom and basically felt done.) Explore World Showcase (too much walking for few rides, from kids' perspective) Eat for fun more (we ate more out of necessity but found fun snacks when convenient) Tower of Terror (queues too long and genie + bookings too late) Frozen Singalong (timing never seemed to work out) Luminous (son had no interest in late night shows so we only did a couple things at night.) Take ride on skyliner. Something that surprised me: queues for popular rides stayed long even at 9pm. Couldn't see a viable alternative to EE rope drop + genie plus to get all the big rides "done" except perhaps if you had extended evening hours, but that would not have worked with our kids. Number of beignets consumed during our stay: 12

Never thought I'd get desperate enough to seek some advice via Reddit, but here it goes. I'm male and just turned 36. I have been struggling now for what seems like a few years of CONSTANT feelings of urination. I now pee or have the urgency to pee like literally every 5 minutes. It has been debilitating and a huge detriment to my social life as I always feel I need to be close to a toilet. Thank God I work from home. I know this is a bit of an overshare, but I still can get a hard on and ejaculate fine, however I feel a lot of urethral discomfort like there's pee still trapped and also feeling like peeing constantly never really makes me feel like getting turned on. I don't get near as many erections as I use to but still can just fine. I have seen two different urologists in the last year, been on different kinds of antibiotics which never fix the problem, been on Flomax which I recently got off of by my urologists advice since it didn't help whatsoever, a steroid which did nothing, and my urine samples as of last week came back normal and it was cultured as well (normal). I'm due for another CT scan next month to double check for kidney stones. I just don't have any answers, my father deals with prostatitis and takes Cialis which says provides him comfort but I don't think his case is near this extreme. My last blood test showed I was pre-diabetic. I'm not overweight by any means and workout daily but my diet is trash. Could this be diabetes? I literally feel the urgency all the time to pee and this has been haunting. I don't even want to go out much anymore because of this problem. Have I trained my brain to urinate constantly? What the fuck is this? Please anyone with some advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the long story. Thanks.

For context, my husband had a child with his ex. They lived in for 5 years and had a son. When the son is only 2 months old, the girl decided to work abroad and left the son with my husband and his monther. After few months, my husband came to her abroad and worked also. My mother-in-law was the one who took care of the son almost since birth. They only went home when the child was already 3 years old but decided to return abroad.
However, the girl had another boyfriend when they went home. So seeing his son was not her only motive, it was to meet this guy too who he met online. To cut the story short, he left my husband for this guy and said that they will just talk about their son afterwards. To elaborate more, just after 6 months when they came back abroad, she went home in PH to meet this guy again, without even visiting her child. After a month, the guy moved in with him and worked abroad too. Imagine, she waited for 3 years to see his son but for this guy, she can't last not to see him again after 6 months?
Upon knowing this, my husband decided to go home in PH to take care of their son. After some time, we met, became together and eventually got married. According to my husband, when they were still together, the girl is giving him 10k/month for support. But after their break up, it just became 5k/month for 4 months only. After that, she stopped supporting because he doesn't want "any communication" to my husband. She usually sends the money to my mother in law but just stopped it because my MIL stopped answering her message because she is so demanding as if she owes her something, as if she did not cheat on my husband.
I took the responsibility of taking care of my step son. He had illnesses that was only discovered when I started taking care of him. I put him on a nice school. I treat him as my own and he loves me dearly too.
What triggers me the most is there are this random days and usually special events like birthdays, christmas, and recently, mother's day wherein he would post in social media that he loves his son blah blah but in reality she does not make a single effort for him? She would flaunt that he would buy this expensive gadgets to his now boyfriend but does not even buy milk for his son? I don't care about money anyway because we have stable jobs but I just hate it that she omits the part that she abandoned her child to be with another man. The audacity!

Deity or Shoal 32 he/him or they/them Discord
I really don't have too many fandoms! I don't really watch tv or consume too much media anymore. I didn't have tv as a kid from like 2003, I would watch movies but just stopped having interest in tv overall. I still do not have tv as an adult lol.
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Fandoms - The Legend of Zelda (Skyward Sword, OoT, MM, - Twilight Princess, BotW, TotK) - Kingdom Hearts (although haven't played beyond KH2) - Pokemon (Hoenn, Sinnoh/Hisui, Kanto/Johto, PMD) - Transformers (IDW comics mtmte and similar) - Yu Yu Hakusho - Studio Ghibli? Disney? - Watership Down (book, movie, netflix adapt)
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Genres or Theme Tags - Character-driven is my favorite but Plot-driven is also appreciated. - Action/Adventure (Hero's Journey types, destined hero, fallen hero, antihero, etc), Angst/Comfort, Animal Tale/Fiction (think Watership Down, Warrior Cats, etc), Cozy Fantasy, Dark Fantasy, Erotica, Historical Fiction, HorroEldritch/Cosmic Horror, Isekai, Low and High Fantasy, Mythic/Mythological, Nautical Fiction (pirates, etc), Romance, SciFi/futuristic, Slice-of-Life, Supernatural/Paranormal, Time Travel (usually by non-science means)
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Limits - I only write/write with others that write 3rd person, past or present tense - I only write male, masc or male-identifying characters currently. - I only write erotica/smut with male/masc pairings, so MxM only.

• Only write with others that are 20+, I don't care about your gendesex.
• I will write taboo subjects with the right people, Dead-Dove is A+
• I will not/cannot promise daily replies, I can take up to two weeks to deliver if the replies are advance lit length (over 1.5k words)
• No drama, don't be rude, I do accept ooc talk unrelated to rp but I cannot deal with trauma-dumping or constant negativity.
• You can ask for an update of where I am for a reply twice per reply if I haven't gotten it to you yet.

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Hard Yes: I'm not listing my kinks here, I don't mind giving you a precursory list when asked, but they're fairly tame minus a few 'taboo' ones. I like to have reason/plot/story with smut/erotica.
Hard No: Realistic Pregnancy, Hypersizes, Microsizes, Shrinking/Growing, Soft Vore, 'bathroom' stuff, Breast-related/Milk, HIGHLY Unrealistic Sex, A/B/O aka Omegaverse, Furry.

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33 y.o male 6 2” , 244 , non smoker I have a cytoscope Tomorrow and I can’t stop crying in fear …. for what happened with symptoms overnight end of March from a health scare and being upset form another unrelated issue . Started with constipation and diarrhea.. then that night decided to fap. And woke up twice to pee and had slight burning afterwards… then k rush to urologist who tells me it’s that I’m drinking alot of liquid before bed , seltzer or tea(drank tea around 8 that night ) and be irritants , but they also ordered me a urinalysis that I dropped off sample in morning, results came in which were clear no blood , white blood cells etc. and they prescribed me antibiotics and told me to take them for 30 days but I only took for like 14 days cause they were not working cause they thought my symptoms sounded like prostatitis or pelvic floor symptoms but I’m freaking out cause although it’s getting better prob from antibiotic inflammatory response and pelvic floor exercises it’s not really going away.. so I also ask for a PSA test with was 0.38 and then they ordered me a CT Urogram with contrast and without contrast and cytoscope with is on May 15… they also ordered me Kidney , Metabolic Function and a complete blood count .. all which came back fine . The CT urogram with and without contrast showed nothing wrong with my bladder , kidneys or uterers.. after I got that news my symptoms felt better but I still woke up to pee at night .. around this time the pain after urination went away but still having to go frequently, in between this time I also had another health scare with my gums in my teeth that was just gingival overgrowth but I though that was mouth c word. So my urinary issues started to get better and I didn’t even notice them 2 weeks ago end of April , but now I have this upcoming test and it’s all I’m hyper fixated on , I’m urinating a lot more and paying attention to what my urine looks like making sure I don’t see blood .. I messaged. My doctors probably 10 times and asking if the CT scan would have picked up anything in my Bladder , my doctors said that the CT scan looked inside my bladder , outside my bladder and around jt , it saw everything and nothing was wrong. but the Cytoscope will also look as well and I was reading stories and articles and stuff how the cytoscope will detect stuff on wall or whatever, but then again I also read that there would be wall thickening on CT scan with contrast… I have been crying off and on these past few days , not able to sleep well, having to get up to urinate , hyper fixation on my urine and stream , start time , post void dribble all of that.. and idk if it’s my stress making it worse or if that’s an actual issues I have going on … I’m so afraid.

Hello everybody!
This is my cautionary tale and potential advice!
As you are probably aware, women on the spectrum are more likely to have eating disorders. Moreover we are more likely to not get sufficient or direct instructions from our doctors regarding our medical care. Below is my story on how that hurt my health and wellbeing.
Since I was a child I was a picky eater, with limited food I would accept and not a big apetite. I was also a very thin person, could not put on any weight no matter what I tried. I remember first learning what anemia is when I was 9 or 10. I struggled with my blood for years after that, despite diets and supplements. At some point I accepted that this is just what my body is like and I will be forever underweight and anemic.
Suddenly in high school I learned I developed lactose intolerance. I was devastated because diary was one of my go-to foods and a main breakfast food (either cereal or cheese sandwitch/toast). It was near impossible at that time to find any lactose-free products where I live and so my diet had to drastically change. Overnight I stopped my usual breakfast and went lactose free. That alone was a big issue but then suddenly I developped unusual headaches, dizzyness and chills.
My parents (with a history of dismissal of my health concerns) thought I am pretending to skip school. Luckily I was over 16 and scheduled my own doctor visit behind their back. Before the visit [warning: gross] I had an unexpected toilet visit with green feces. I was surprised but put it down to eating something green and not noticing. Doctor sent me for blood tests and included iron levels knowing my anemia history and worrying I have dangerously low iron levels again. Surprise surprise, my iron levels were through the roof. Turns out you can poison yourself with iron supplements. Doctor was surprised, ordered me off of any iron supplements I was taking.
I only learned years later (in university course on farmacotherapy) that drinking milk with iron pills significantly decreses their effectivness. Suddenly it all made sense. It even explained why I got worse again once lactose-free products became available (but not as bad as before).
Since then I learned that there is a lot of different interactions with medication and food you consume around the time of taking your drugs. Make sure to check grapefruit interactions if you're on antyhistamines, xanax or others, and check for St. John's Wort if you're on antidepressants.
TL:DR I overdosed on iron supplements because I stopped drinking milk everyday.

My Ex-Boyfriend chose his adopted cats over his unborn child
My boyfriend (39) and I (29) decided to live together last year.
Everything seemed fine. Before he met me, he knew I had a 5-year-old child and that I wasn't married. He also had a cat. We moved in together, but he left his cat with his family.
In our new place, a stray cat started visiting us regularly, and we fed it often. I noticed he became attached to the stray, so we decided to adopt it to help him miss his cat less. I suggested we keep the cat indoors because my child often gets sick and got admitted a few times, but he got upset because the stray wasn’t used to living inside. So, I let it be even though the cat sometimes caught mice and climbed on the table. I'm not a cat person, but I tried to adjust.
When we started living together, I even adjusted my life and my son's needs. My son used to have S26 milk, but we had to switch to Bear Brand. Meanwhile, I saw my boyfriend ordering boxes of food and never buying new toys for my son ever. These red flags made me feel neglected and unimportant. We decided to merge all our salaries and split the bills. He managed the money and everything.
The stray cat gave birth to four kittens, and he was very excited and put in a lot of effort to take care of them. I wanted to rehome them because we were both busy as I have two jobs and a child to care for. We barely go out since there's a cats in our home, and he feels uneasy every time we go out for long periods.
As the kittens grew, they made a mess and smelled bad, especially during meals. The litter box besides our table. I couldn’t stand it. His behavior changed, and he told me he'd rehome them once they were older and no longer nursing. But when the time came, he showed no intention of doing so. When his sibling asked if we needed to adopt out the cats, he said he planned to keep them without consulting me.
I was shocked and we argued, making me feel like the bad guy.
Our relationship deteriorated, and every time I went downstairs, the smell made me angry. I felt like I had no say in our home. I told him that if he didn’t rehome the new cats, we would leave. I asked for at least two weeks to find a place and prepare the house I had bought. He responded, "The cats stay no matter what." That’s when I realized he chose the cats over us.
Three days after our conversation, we had a heated argument because the cats made a mess and smelled bad. He yelled at me, "When are you leaving?" He was furious. So, my child and I left immediately.
We moved far away. A few weeks later, he visited me in our new home and tried to reconcile, expressing regret for what happened. Despite everything, I loved him, so I gave him another chance. I decided to give it another try, hoping he might change his principles since we weren't living together anymore. He visited me once a week, but every time he was here, he constantly checked his phone to see how his cats were doing in CCTV. One time, while we were out grocery shopping, he seemed so rushed and preoccupied with his cats at home that it irritated me. At that time, I didn't know I was pregnant.
When I found out I was pregnant, I shared the news with him but kept my condition the same: he must rehome the cats and keep only one. He still refused. His plan was to live in my house while his cats stayed in his house. Instead of resolving things, he accused me of being an attention seeker and insecure. The stress has been overwhelming, and I've even experienced bleeding.
Also, my ex-boyfriend is quite tight on budget and has a lot of credit card debt that he is still paying off. I only found this out after we started living together. One reason I decided to live together was to help him financially. I also bought a house that I'm waiting to be turned over. I thought the additional expenses for the cats would be manageable if it was just one not 5, but with a baby on the way, it’s a different story. He is very firm in his decision. This has made me question everything even more.
So ABYG for asking my exbf to rehome his cats?

My son is ~16 mos (my first kid) and after doing our bedtime wind down routine lately he spends an hour tossing, turning, kicking, pulling my hair, sitting up and talking, etc. for at LEAST an hour before rolling over and falling asleep. I try my best to just lay there with him until he eventually turns over and knocks out but lately it just feels impossible and I'm finding it harder to remind myself to be patient and take deep breaths. Lately he's managed to head butt me or push his head back, getting me square between the eyes or giving me fat lips which hurts. A lot. He's just a baby, I know that.... and he laughs about it or sometimes he accidentally farts and we have a good laugh. I've tried just being silly with him, holding him close, quiet music, no music, miss Rachel, a dark room, a light on.... to no avail. It's just party time. Every night I do the warm bath, brush teeth, Jammie's, bedtime story and bottle religiously and it's just not working out. He doesn't fall asleep til midnight most nights and I'm just beating myself up atp. I want to start weaning him off of his binky soon and reduce his milk intake but it's the only barrier between us and absolute bedtime insanity. We bedshare in my bed usually til he knocks out then I put him in his own crib until we move next month and I want to figure this out before I start feeling like even worse of a mom.